#I probably am doing this because my brain is just getting tired from the writing
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nope-body · 1 year ago
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#I hate flare ups#I can’t do anything and even when it gets less painful over the day my brain doesn’t work any better#and I emailed two of my professors this morning- one about missing class and one about an extension on an assignment due today#I haven’t heard back from either of them and I don’t know what to do#I cannot complete the assignment before midnight tonight. I would have to comprehend a reading (already hard with brain fog) and then#make connections between that reading and a past one and recall is also difficult with brain fog and making connections is just.#so hard. like I will struggle to understand puns and jokes when I have brain fog this bad and I’m being asked to write 1-2 pages doing that?#I emailed my professor at 10 this morning and i just want to know if it’s okay if I turn it in late because her late policy is so confusing#I’m stressed and I don’t know what to do. which is also probably not helping with the flare up#I just am tired. I want to be granted some flexibility without it being a huge struggle every single time#I want the disability office to reply to my email about my ‘absence verification’ accommodation because I have been told nothing#I want to not be terrified of my grade dropping just because I’m disabled and can’t anticipate when I’ll have a flare up#I want to be able to get out of bed and walk around without pain or worrying about falling#I want to not have to fight for my position within the co-op to be recognized as real and important#I want to not have to be worried about the future of my club because I genuinely don’t know if anyone is going to run for any#board positions and I can’t keep going like this#there is a reason that we are designed to have a minimum of 6 board members. and it’s because 2 people cannot do it alone#apparently being an accessibility coordinator at my co-op is seen as a nothing position because no one knows what the actual job entails#and despite it being vitally important no one is trained very well for it at all and so in general people in this position have been useless#I do not know how to explain to people that I know what I am doing. were we actually trained in conflict mediation? no! can I do it? yes!#were we taught about disability? nope! not at all!! do I know about it? yes!! I am disabled!! I run the disability club!!#I am tired of feeling like i have made everyone uncomfortable by bringing up an accessibility issue#(this happened at the accessibility coordinator meeting by the way. I told them their location wasn’t accessible and it was dead silent.)#I just want to be able to do things and I want that to stop being so hard because I’m disabled and because of ableism#and those are two separate issues and people don’t like hearing that
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lowkeyremi · 11 months ago
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jjk men and aftercare ft. Gojo, Choso, Nanami, Toji, and Geto.
a/n: I saw something like this awhile ago and forgot to write abt it but here I am now babyyyy. also not proofread bc im tired :P
cw: really suggestive, established relationships, how they are after sex basically :)
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Gojo Satoru
When you two first started hitting third base Gojo was all about himself and about how he felt. When you had cleaned yourself up and prepared for bed that night Satoru finally realized something was wrong.
"What's wrong, babe? I thought you liked it??" He asks, worried about his performance in bed. Your silence prompts him to try and figure out what he had done wrong, and honestly he couldn't even think of anything.
"Pleaseeee tell me. I won't know if you don't say anything." Those invasive thoughts that tell you, "you don't matter to him." start to attack your brain once again. He's way out of your league you start to think.
"Aftercare. You didn't even offer to help me clean up, Satoru." Saying it out loud makes you sound kind of petty in your opinion but it does matter.
"OH. Shit baby I'm so so so so sorry!!!!! I- It's just-" He cuts himself off and tries to reword his sentence, "Well, back then I.. I was sleeping around so my pleasure was the only thing that mattered to me. It's different.. you know? Dating. I'm still working out everything. I won't forget next time I promise."
He'd been telling the truth because from then on he always went all out with aftercare. He would run you a bath with your favorite salts and oils, he'd make you your favorite snacks, he'd even cuddle you afterwards until you fell asleep. (rich boyfriend privileges)
Choso Kamo
He'd been waiting so long to finally sleep with you for the first time so he had done all his research prior to the day. He was looking at your dilated pupils, messy hair, and the cum that sat on your stomach.
"Okay so, according to the article I read, I should run you a hot bath, yeah?" He asks nervously.
A small smile braces your lips. In all honesty you probably should have expected this much from Choso. He wants to make sure everything is perfect.
"You looked up aftercare???" You sit up on the bed and a back cramp decides to hit right then and there. As soon as he hears your groan he sprints the the kitchen, only to return with a heat pad.
"Heat pad for cramps?" He's truly nervous, and eager to please you, the love of his life.
"Thank you, Cho. I'll take you up on that bath."
"Of course, I'll get in with you if that's okay." The smile on your face is enough of an answer.
Nanami Kento
YOU ARE WINNING!!!!
Massages, baths, homemade snacks, you name and he'll do it for you. In his mind it's the least he can do for you, because you treat him so well and give him that pretty pussy he loves so much.
"Right here?" He's currently working those skilled fingers into your tight muscles after bending you every which way.
"Ohhh... yes right there, baby. Hurts so muchhhh." You whine and moan at the same time. At this point you two have already bathed and he's made sure to moisturize your body leaving you clean and refreshed.
He seemed to notice the way you limped and asked if you need anything. The sex was good really, but you didn't want to tell him that folding you in half wasn't the best idea. Oh, but he's persistent would not leave you alone until you told him what was wrong.
Once you told him he had immediately sat you down, picked up your favorite lotion and started to work out the kinks in your body.
"I'm so sorry, again." He mumbles quietly.
"Stop apologizing, Kento. These things happen. At least I know to stretch before hand next time." His face softens at your giggles and he presses a small kiss to your thigh.
"Oh do not get me started." A smile creeps up his face, while blush slowly spreads across yours.
Toji Fushiguro
BOOOOOO no aftercare. well maybe not much at least.
Has not properly cared for a woman since his late wife but he realizes if he wants you to stay he'll have to fix that.
At first he would throw a wet rag at you and give a simple, "here clean up." When he got out the shower he was genuinely confused why you were no longer at his apartment.
As soon as you picked up he could tell you were pissed, "What do you want, Fushiguro."
He's a little shocked, did not expect that from you, "I'm your boyfriend so it's Toji and not Fushiguro. The hell is your problem??"
The silence is so loud. For a second he thought you'd hung up on him. "Hello??"
"I'm giving you some time to think about that dumbass question and figure out why I'm mad at you." He clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes too. He's lucky you can't see it.
"Ugh, I don't have time to play the damn guessing game. You're always mad about the little things.. what is it?" He's running through anything he could have possibly done wrong recently.
"Toji, you threw a fucking wet washcloth at me and told me to clean myself up. I'm your girlfriend, not one of your one night stands!" There it is, and the bad part is he doesn't even see what's wrong with that. (at first)
"I don't even give them something to clean up with, I just leave. But damn if you want me to get all fancy and shit I'll try." He scratches his head and begins to wonder why women are so hard to please.
Let me tell you he's no Nanami, but it's getting better. Still falls asleep afterward most times tho :/
Geto Suguru
You do it yourself for the most part, and here's why.
He's over here washing you up in the tub and he can't stop staring at your soapy titties and it just leads to more sex.
It's never just aftercare with him. He's always chasing more. Like that time you asked him to massage your legs after you two had finished fucking in the tub.
"Yeah shit why not? Lotion or oil??" He asks looking through your products.
"Uhhh lotion's fine." You'd grabbed your phone to see if your mother left you a voicemail which she did. She talked about how you need to pick up the phone or at least text her your alive if you're not gonna pick up. You were NOT going to pick up earlier though. Suguru likes to tease and you learned that the hard way when he was eating you out while you were discussing group bonding dinner ideas with your boss over the phone.
Anyway, he made his way to the bed with your lotion and all things went to hell. It was slow at first, nothing too sensual, then of course he had to slip a finger in your pussy and you sat there and stared.
"We are not doing this, we just got out of the bath." You were so serious, but so was he. (you were also aroused so)
"Another bath never hurt anybody, 'fraid of a little water baby??"
(such an annoying whore)
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ryebread0605 · 2 months ago
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Breeding kink with Lilia plz I’ll kneel for it
OH BOY ANON YOU GOT ME HOOK LINE AND SINKER I AM AN ABSOLUTE FERAL WHORE FOR BREEDING 
This is also gonna be a response to another ask that wanted Lilia with a female reader
Hope you enjoy! 
 (Ik it’s short I’m so sorry my brain just blanked on how to write Lilia)
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When you got news from Silver that something was wrong with Lilia, you probably should’ve stayed to listen to what exactly was wrong. If you had, maybe you wouldn’t be pinned to the former general’s bed currently. His hard on was pressed to your ass, your chest against the soft mattress as he grinds into you. The feeling was something that caused arousal to pool in you and you were sure the fae could smell it.
“M-my dear,” the former general began with a shaky voice, “I’ve been thinking recently..” his hips ground against your ass harder, more desperately as he groaned softly and leaned closer to you so he could whisper the next words into your ear, “I’m ready to raise another child”
If you weren’t already aroused, that would’ve opened the floodgates immediately. The image in your head of your belly swollen with his offspring, part fae and part human, giving Silver a sibling, sevens it sounded heavenly. You hadn’t even known that was something you desired, always fearing pregnancy in the past. And yet, this felt right.
“Lilia, a-are you sure? I mean, with me?” Your face was flushed red as the man chuckled softly and gently bit your lobe, 
“My dear, I wouldn’t want anyone else to mother my child. But, do you want this too?” His words held his restraint, he oh so badly just wanted to take you now but he couldn’t possibly do so without permission. It was completely against who he was, the values and morals he held, to force you into this major decision. But with a nod of your head and a feeble ‘please’, that restraint snapped.
The sound of his balls against your ass, both your fluids running down your legs as he had you on all fours, one hand holding your hips up while the other pressed your head into the pillows. You didn’t mind it at all, however, as you could barely think about anything other than his cock moving in and out of your cunt at a rapid pace one wouldn’t expect from the fae. His grunts and your moans were loud enough for everyone to know what you two were doing, you could only hope out of some miracle that Malleus had taken Sebek and Silver out of the dorm as otherwise you two would get another very lengthy lecture from a very flustered Sebek and be ignored by Silver (not because he is angry, he’s just embarrassed). 
With one final groan, he stilled inside you again and painted your fluttering walls white. Panting heavily with sweat coating almost every inch of his body, he pulled out with a slight pop and lay beside you on the bed. With a love drunk smile, you lay your head on his chest and kiss the numerous hickeys lining his neck as he runs his finger along the bite marks on yours. 
“So, are you hoping for a boy or a girl?” He wriggled his eyebrows at you teasingly as you laughed and playfully slapped him, a bright yet tired smile on your face as you kissed his cheek. You weren’t nervous at the idea of being pregnant anymore, as long as it was his baby in you and him by your side throughout this journey
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lucy90712 · 4 months ago
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kinda sad but reader distancing herself from jude bc she’s pregnant and don’t know how to tell him and he’s really scared bc he thinks she’s gonna leave him
A/n: I had to give this a happy ending as I have far too much angst to write that I needed a pick me up
Do it. Just do it. 
I have to keep telling myself those few words. In front of me sits a pregnancy test that I can't get myself to take as I don't want to know the answer. Jude and I have always been really careful as he doesn't want kids, I don't mind either way but because he doesn't want them we always try to be super safe. Despite that for the last few weeks I've just not felt right I've been feeling really nauseous and my period is now a week late which really only means one thing I just didn't want to believe it. As much as I know I'm almost definitely pregnant I don't want to take the test as that will confirm it and then I'll have to deal with the consequences.
How would I tell Jude? Would he leave me? Can I raise a baby on my own? All of those questions swirled round my brain as I still just stared at the test. Jude will definitely not be happy but if I am pregnant I don't want to get rid of the baby as I don't think I could handle all the emotions that come with that. If I don't get rid of the baby I can definitely see Jude breaking up with me which I understand he doesn't want kids and he's just starting out his career at Real Madrid he won't want a baby to look after so I'll probably be on my own in a city I don't know with no support. 
It got to the point that all of the questions were starting to eat away at me so to forget about them I decided just to take the test. What no one tells you about taking a pregnancy test is that the few minute wait for the result feels like a century I swear I was pacing back and forth forever before the screen displayed the result. I chose to take a digital test as it would tell me how many weeks I was as that's something I wanted to know too but then I realised that knowing how far along I am will make it feel a whole lot more real. There was no surprise when I finally looked at the test and it said pregnant 4-5 weeks. 
Finally seeing it confirmed made it impossible to hold back my tears any longer. Instinctively my hand went to my stomach as I thought about how in a few short months I will have a baby the baby that is currently growing inside me. The tears were a mix of happiness as somehow I was actually happy to know I was pregnant and anxiety as I have no idea what the future holds. 
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It has been a month since I found out I was pregnant and I'm now 10 weeks along. A few weeks back I went for my first ultrasound and got to see the baby and make sure everything was ok which it was. Jude still doesn't know, I've tried to tell him so many times but I just can't do it I either chicken out or the moment just doesn't feel right. I know I need to tell him soon as I'm already starting to develop a small bump which will only get bigger and sometimes I think Jude gets a bit suspicious when I won't eat certain things I usually love as I know they will make me sick. 
Over the past month I have definitely been a lot more distant with Jude which has meant he hasn't noticed when I've had really bad sickness days and that I have a small bump growing. It's hard hiding such a big secret from him which is part of why I've been so distant because I just want to tell him and for us to be a happy family but I know it won't go that way and I can't bare the thought of that. I love Jude so much and I don't want to ruin our relationship but I know at some point I'll have to tell him and deal with whatever heartbreak comes along with that. 
No one apart from me knows about my pregnancy not even my parents or my friends I have kept it a complete secret. Today though I'm seeing my friends and I know they are getting a bit suspicious as when we go out I'm always tired and I don't drink anymore. We aren't doing much today just going for brunch so I got up after Jude left for training and went to where we were supposed to meet. Once everyone was there we went in and got a table and I lasted less than a minute before the smell of someone's food made me feel so nauseous that I had to run to the bathroom. My best friend joined me to make sure I was ok but I knew she wasn't convinced when I said I was fine. 
"Are you ok?" The rest of the group asked 
"Yeah I'm fine" I said 
"What's going on girl you've been acting weird for a while now" my best friend said 
"Ok you guys can't say anything to anyone but I'm pregnant I found out a month ago and I've been hiding it because Jude doesn't want kids and I don't know how to tell him" I admitted 
None of them really knew what to say they all knew that Jude didn't want kids and a baby was never supposed to be part of our lives so they were as shocked as I was. After the initial shock they all started giving me advice and telling me everything would be fine. They all tried to reassure me that Jude wouldn't leave me when he found out but they did say I need to tell him at some point soon and I agree but it's hard to find the right words to say. 
Once I got back home I just sat in silence thinking about life and how I got to this point. I was so consumed with my thoughts that I didn’t hear the front door opening or Jude calling my name as he entered the house with increased panic when I didn’t reply. I only came back to reality when he was stood in front of me catching his breath after I nearly gave him a heart attack. There was a lot of staring at each other as I tried to find something to say while he tried to read me and work out what I was thinking. 
“Love are you ok and before you tell me you’re fine I know you’re not you’ve been acting strange for a while and I just want to know what I can do to make things better” he said 
Hearing him say that was too much for me I just burst into tears right in front of him. His arms made their way around me and he tried to calm me down but that didn’t help. This last month I’ve held back all of my emotions about this whole situation and now they are coming out all at once and I can’t hold them back any longer. I tried to tell him but the words couldn’t escape my mouth so instead I grabbed his hand and took him upstairs with me. I kept my pregnancy test and ultrasound pictures hidden away in my wardrobe so I found them and just placed them in Jude’s hands. This isn’t how I wanted to tell him but I think it’s the only way I can do it without having another breakdown. 
“What is this?” He asked 
“I’m pregnant” I said 
“I’m sorry I know you don’t want kids and we are always careful I don’t know how it happened and I just I’m just sorry” I rambled 
“Hey it’s ok calm down how long have you known?” He asked 
“I’ve known for a month and I’m 10 weeks now” I said 
“Wow we are going to be parents” he said hugging me tightly 
“Wait you aren’t mad” I questioned 
“No of course I’m not mad I’m actually really happy I know I said I didn’t want kids but more recently I started to change my mind especially seeing you with all the guys kids it made me want that with you I couldn’t be happier right now” he said 
“So you aren’t going to leave me?” I asked 
“Of course not I can’t wait to go through this whole journey with you I’m just sad I haven’t been there for you until now” he said 
Hearing that was such a relief but not at all what I expected. I’ve always been told things happen for a reason and this is one of those things I guess. Naturally Jude had a lot of questions so I told him everything like everything I know about the baby and how I’ve been feeling as he wanted to know how I’ve been coping. It felt so good to finally tell him everything and he seemed so genuinely happy which allowed me to actually think about how excited I am too as that’s something I’ve pushed away until now. 
After a long conversation we both went silent and just took a minute to take in what has just happened. As we sat there Jude’s hand made its way to my shirt which he lifted up slightly and just rested his hand on my tiny bump. I watched as the smile on his face got even bigger than it was before I could see him look at my almost non existent bump with so much love that it almost made me cry. This whole thing doesn’t seem anywhere near as scary now that I know Jude is here to support me and I already know he’s going to be the best dad if he loves our baby this much already. 
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soaps-mohawk · 2 months ago
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I'm so sorry to everyone that I freaked out with the last post, I was trying so hard not to 😭 I have that like instant fear as soon as I see "we need to talk" or something in the same vein. I always think it's something bad.
This isn't bad, at least depending on how your perspective I guess.
So...I'm having thoughts about CRCB in October. I planned out posting schedules for Kyletober and CRCB and my Patreon stuff and it's going to basically be a post every day, sometimes multiple in multiple places.
That's a lot.
So, I am set on doing Kyletober since all of the fics are already written, but I was planning on continuing CRCB during October as well. But...I think I need a little break from CRCB. It's been about eight months of posting almost every single week and it's been a lot. I'm struggling with chapters right now and with work it's vastly limiting the time I have to write and focus on things and I'm kind of burning out right now.
So, what I wanted to discuss was potentially putting CRCB on hold for October while I focus on Kyletober and everything involved with that. Trying to do both is a lot and I'm not sure I can handle all of it, plus life, plus work.
I was planning on not necessarily putting CRCB on hold, but doing more of a "whenever I can/am inspired" random posting chapters kind of like I did in the beginning when I first started writing the fic, in November/December because those are very busy months and I will be dead tired from work and just general life.
I think I might still do that for November/December and possibly into the new year since there's no way the fic will be finished even if I posted every week until the end of December.
BUT
That's something I'll think about and make a decision on later.
Right now, my thought is...would you hate me if I put CRCB on pause in October? IF I do, I promise I won't end Chapter 39 on a cliffhanger. I wasn't planning on it anyway, but I promise I won't end it on a cliffhanger if I decide not to post any chapters in October.
That way if I do put it on pause, then I can not focus on it for a bit and give my brain a refresh, and I can also focus all my energy on Kyletober.
So yeah, it's going to be a lot doing both at the same time, and honestly I'm ready for a little break from CRCB. It's been going for a long time and it's a lot of words to get out in a week. I've been super stressed lately and I'm just struggling a lot trying to get through chapters.
So yeah. That's basically the dilemma here and the discussion to be had. I know y'all will tell me it's my blog and I can do whatever I want, but I would like opinions on it. Are y'all okay with me putting CRCB on hold to focus on Kyletober? Then pick it back up for probably just whenever I can chapter updates for the rest of the year? In January things will calm down and I'll have more time to relax and write and maybe get close to finishing the story. Plus I know a lot of my readers will be busy the next three months with the holidays and vacations and family and school and all of that, so you won't have to worry about getting behind and having to catch up with a bunch of chapters.
So...let me know...
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solus-seraph · 5 months ago
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Common Grounds. (AM)
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SUMMARY:
AM is interested in you, and you are NOT interested in him.
A/N: It's been a minute since I've written, so here's a little drabble. Also, I initially wrote this to be fem!reader, but it can probably be read as whatever.
AM had grown tired of playing with you. At first, the promise of eventually being able to crack that sickeningly dense shell of apathy you pushed forward with your self-inclusive facade was a tempting prize. Of course, he could always physically break you to no end, but where's the fun in that? He wants to see you suffer on all levels, but something is wrong with you. You're different from the other five. The apathy he once thought to be a part of your clever coping mechanism wasn't going away. It wasn't cracking. He began to think, perhaps it was a metaphorical virus in your code. A bug. Something within you that made you broken, unfixable.
"You're quite the anomaly, sweetheart." Always the same pet name with him, never once has he given you the satisfaction of hearing your name from his speakers. It's always 'Sweetheart,' 'my dear,' this and that, never your name. Perhaps it's an attempt to erase your identity. Whatever it is, it has no effect. Other people's perceptions of you are irrelevant.
"I'm quite aware. Now if you're done with your pointless attempts to pick my brain, do us both a favor and leave me alone," You were doing as you always do, walking in the freezing cold, improperly dressed for the weather. Though you'd never complained, lest he make you walk through the snow in the nude.
"Quite ballsy of you to make demands of me. I've not come to dissect you in any way other than mentally. Your mind is quite ... different. It intrigues me." His voice was already giving you a headache, but what better do you have to do than entertain his royal pain in the ass?
"I know exactly what you want to say about it." Of course you do, he rummaged through your head millions of times, he was bound to say something eventually.
"I've noted you have a lack of care for your fellow humans. You're quite the selfish beast if I must say so myself."
"Don't you perhaps think I don't get attached to them because I know the second I do they'll become your favorite play thing? I know how you work. If I showed any particularity to any of those five, you'd hurt them to hurt me." Your words spit out of your mouth laced with venom.
"Oh, please. You can't fool me. You don't act as if you dislike them to protect them. You truly don't care about them at all." That ear-bleedingly annoying laugh rings out. "You're as much of a monster as the other think you are. I've heard them talking, sweetheart. They think you're sided with me out of some sadistic pleasure of yours."
"And how should I know you aren't lying to me? After all, you hate me. You hate my kind. You hate how I think and feel. Or how I'm supposed to think, and I'm supposed to feel." You moisten your cracked lips.
"You and I think alike, my dear. Always doubting-"
"What do you have to doubt? Anything you think can be the truth becomes the truth." You cut him off before he starts monologing. "You and I have nothing in common, nor do I and the others."
AM has to stop and think about this. Such a hostile little thing you are. He quite likes it. Perhaps with this new ammunition, he can turn them on you even more. Maybe he can make them hate you so that you will come to hate them.
And just maybe, you'll hate like he does.
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I know, I know, not the longest thing on the planet. Let me ease back into the writing scene 🙏
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lvis44 · 3 months ago
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Sweet Escape - Wedding Pt. 2 // LH44
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Lewis Hamilton x Y/N
Warnings: Language, Alcohol Consumption, Angst, Anxiety
Word Count: 5.4k
Summary: Paradise is supposed to be fun and relaxing... a Sweet Escape, but when unspoken feelings and jealousy rise to the surface, everything can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye.
Notes: The second part of our wedding... I was reading my doc and figured this part was solid enough to be put into the universe lol. More to come but, once again, I do not know the timeline. I hope this holds you guys enjoy and this holds you over in the meantime! *insert Lil Wayne - Sorry 4 The Wait - here*. I've said it a million times and I will say it a million more, I cannot get my brain to stay in one tense while writing so ignore it the best you can lol. I LOVE YOU GUYS!
I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy! xxx
Previous Sections: Prologue - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Epilogue - The Wedding Pt.1
You’re not sure how long you’ve been staring at the dark ceiling when you hear your phone start to vibrate on the side table, causing you to groan. Just because your nerves are keeping you awake doesn’t mean you want to talk to anyone. When you see his name flash across your screen your first reaction is to laugh at his insistence but quickly anxiety washes over you. Every possible thing that could be wrong flashing through your mind as you answer his call.
“Lew?” You croak out, your voice dry in your throat.
“Hey. Shit, I didn’t wake you did I? Just needed to hear your voice and this can’t possibly count as me seeing you before the wedding.” He’s quiet on the other end, probably trying not to wake Miles in the other room.
“No, can’t sleep.” You admit. You’ve thought a few times throughout the night that you should have given in and let him hold you tonight, knowing you more than likely already would have fallen asleep.
“Neither can I, my nerves are going crazy.” He sounds vulnerable and you can’t help but worry.
“Not backing out on me, are you?” You attempt to joke, even though the anxiety is real.
“What? No, baby, never.” He laughs at the absurdity of your question, making you feel that much better, “No, I’m just stressing over the whole thing. Thinking maybe we should have just run away and eloped.”
“We still can.” You giggle, knowing he’s joking but understanding the feeling.
He joins you in your laughter before falling silent. You know he’s too deep in his own thoughts so you let him settle on what he wants to say.
“I’m just worried something will go wrong like the catering will be shit or the decorations won’t be right. I don’t know, I just need it to be perfect for you. Perfect for us.” He finally shares, his voice is tired.
“Lew, the only thing that could possibly ruin tomorrow is if for some reason we legally can’t get married. Even if we end up in a courthouse, I’m ending the day as your wife. Everything else is just an excuse for us to throw a kick ass party.” You try your best to assure him.
His laugh comes through the phone before he lets out a sigh, “You’re right, nothing else matters. This is why I’m marrying you ya’ know.”
“Why? Because I would have said yes even if you proposed with a ring pop?” You tease him, your smile spreading across your face.
“Well that,” He laughs, “but also because with two sentences from you, I’ve felt calmer than I’ve felt since the second I got here to the hotel. You always manage to make everything seem okay and truth be told as long as I have you, it is.”
His words hit you deep, knowing how much he means them.
“You know you’re supposed to save the vows for later, right?” You joke, trying not to choke up, knowing if you’re too sincere with him right now you will end up in tears.
“I love you Y/N.” He says simply, aware you're trying not to get too emotional.
“I love you Lewis. You wanna stay on the phone?” It’s something you’ve done many times while he’s been away and the distance has gotten to be too much. You barely talk, just content in the sound of each other's breathing and the rustle of the others sheets.
“If you don’t mind?” He sounds nervous again, like he feels like he’s asking too much of you.
“Always. Good night Lew, I love you.” You say quietly, settling back into your bed.
“I love you baby.”
You don’t say another word, both falling asleep quickly after your chat. The comfort of each other being all you needed to truly relax.
* * *
Charlotte's soft voice ringing through the room is the first thing you hear as you try to adjust to being awake. The second you start to come into yourself, the nerves come flooding in.
“You didn’t hear a word I just said, did you?” Charlotte is laughing as you sit up in bed. Your phone is still sitting on top of the comforter next to you, the call now having ended. You can only assume Lewis is already awake and getting ready or his phone died. You can’t help but smile at the memory of your conversation last night, both of you needing a moment of solace within the other.
“What?” You ask groggily, attempting to wipe the sleep from your eyes.
“Well, to start I said Good Morning Ms. Soon to be Hamilton,” She started, her voice much too loud before realizing and quieting right down, “then I told you that hair and makeup are on their way to the venue and the car will be here in about an hour.”
You raised your eyebrows at her as she sat down on the bed.
“I know, I should have woken you up earlier but I heard you talking in here at almost three in the morning, I assume with Lewis, and I wanted you to get some sleep,” She explains softly, putting her hand up to stop you as you go to respond, “there’s a light breakfast here if you want some, but you have plenty of time to shower and grab some food. If you don’t eat now, I’ve already scheduled some food for you at the venue that you can eat while they're doing your hair before you get your makeup done.”
You let out a sigh, thankful that she has thought ahead, you go to thank her but she starts again.
“I’ve already confirmed with four different people at the venue that your dress is there, hair and makeup has a place to set up, your room is on the other side of the building from Lewis so you won’t run into him, and all of the decorations have arrived and are being set up. The only thing you have to do today is let us take care of you, know that Miles and I have everything under control, and get married!” She finishes her spiel with a smirk, knowing that everything she just covered were concerns running through your mind, always proving even further why she was your Maid of Honor.
“Thank you, you are an absolute angel.” You say as you grab her hand.
“I do have to ask, just being nosy,” She starts, laughing gently, “was it Lewis on the phone last night?”
You feel yourself blushing unnecessarily, there being no reason to be embarrassed for talking to the man you are about to marry.
“Yeah, neither of us could sleep, just needed to talk to each other for a second.” You say sheepishly.
“And that right there is why you two are getting married today baby!” She says enthusiastically, once again much louder than you would prefer for the time of day.
“I’m gonna take a shower,” You tell her as you push yourself out of bed, feeling your stomach growl, “food will be there for me?”
She laughs at your need to double check before nodding, “Yes there will, I heard that, you need some food.”
“Leave me alone.” You grumble, laughing softly to yourself too as you stumble to the bathroom.
“You’ve got an hour, let me know if you need anything.” You hear her yell as she makes her way out of your bedroom to let you shower in peace.
It feels like you’ve entered an alternate universe once you are out of the shower. You ended up taking longer than anticipated and were being rushed to get dressed before ushered downstairs and into the back of another town car. Charlotte had a small bag packed for you and said she would take care of your luggage that was still in the room after the wedding, keeping the suite for the bridal party to stay in after the event. 
Your jaw almost dropped when the car finally pulled into the venue. You had been there before, a few times actually, over the last two summer breaks with Lewis, trying to finally decide. But now… now it was snowing, a winter wonderland surrounding the manor that had been deemed a castle by almost everyone around you and you couldn’t help but agree. A castle had been a dream of yours as a kid but never something you found realistic as an adult, safe to say realistic wasn’t in Lewis’ vocabulary when it came to your wedding. You had been watching Downton Abbey for the third time one night and made an offhand joke to Lewis about how you should get married at Highclere Castle, from then on he had made it his mission to find something that fit the bill. His first thought had been the castle itself but it hadn’t been an option, instead he found a place just outside of London that you had never heard of, something your wedding planner had never even seen, it was perfect. It was large and regal but still fit with both of your styles, allowing it to be decorated with a fine line of modernity and tradition. 
When you pulled up to the front door it looked as though you had stepped into a movie, the snow painting the perfect backdrop despite your hesitance. You hadn’t been sure about a winter wedding but Lewis was impatient and winter was his favorite season. He had done so much of what you had dreamed of that you couldn’t help but agree, knowing it didn’t matter when or where you got married, as long as it ended with him.
Charlotte was quickly ushering you and your mother inside and out of the cold. The entrance was bustling with people moving flower arrangements, chairs, tables, everything you had asked for being set up right in front of your eyes. Charlotte was pulling you down the hallway to your left before you had a chance to even take it all in.
“I’m sorry, I know I’m rushing around but you can relax the second we get you into the bridal suite. I promise.” She was apologizing from in front of you while you tried to keep up with her brisk pace, your mom close behind you.
“Are we late?” You couldn’t help but ask, feeling nervous all over again.
“No , we’re perfectly on time, but the damn men are early and I will be damned if Lewis wins and sees you before you’re at the altar.” Her voice is serious and you can’t help but laugh out loud. It truly isn’t that big of a deal to you but the moment you mentioned it being part of the plan Charlotte and Miles made it their top priority for the day of the wedding.
“It’s really not that big of a deal.” You continue to laugh at Charlotte as she slows down once you’ve reached the doors of the suite. Secretly you wouldn’t mind a quick hello, or even just a glimpse at his beautiful face, but she was determined.
“It’s part of the plan therefore we will be sticking to it, everything will be exactly how you want it today.” Her voice is stern before she opens the door to the suite and welcomes you in.
You’re immediately welcomed by the crew you had hired to take care of everyones hair and makeup. You had spent a while choosing the perfect team and had been in touch with them frequently over the last few months and the familiar faces made you excited. Charlotte tells you to take a seat on the plush couch off to the side and makes her way over to talk with the crew, making sure everything is taken care of for you. Your mom comes to join you on the couch, mimosas in hand with a shocked look on her face, acting as if she doesn’t know where they came from. You giggle as you happily take one from her hand while someone sets food on the small table in front of you, immediately reminding you of how hungry you were back at the hotel.
“You should have something to eat, even if it’s just a nibble. You have some time before you need to start getting ready.” Your mom tells you softly, gesturing towards the spread sitting in front of you.
You nod, leaning forward to grab a pastry as you watch Charlotte in amusement, animated as ever while she gets everyone and everything organized. You take a moment to sit in silence, well as silent as it can be with people bustling about, letting yourself take it all in. You continue to eat as much as you feel you can keep down before someone is suggesting you get in your robe. When you come back from the changing room there are many more people in the room, everyone finally arrived and ready to get ready. You had decided to keep the wedding parties small on both sides. You had Charlotte as your maid of honor, your cousin who had become a sister to you over the years, and your childhood best friend. Miles was Lewis’ best man, Nicolas, and Daniel. Your mom was getting ready with you as well as Linda, Carmen and Lewis’ sisters.
As you sat in the chair watching your hair transform, joking and laughing with your stylist Javier, you took in the sight around you through the mirror. Both families and friends blending into one big happy group, laughing together and sharing mimosas. You were thrilled at the thought of everyone becoming one large family, beyond excited for the next chapter of your life.
“Ladies! I need to say something before everyone starts with their makeup,” Charlottes voice commanded the room getting everyone's attention, “thank you! Okay, I just need to start by saying Y/N, I love you so much and I am so beyond thrilled that you are marrying my second best friend,” she sends you a wink as you both laugh with Lewis not even in the room to defend his decade long friendship, “he is like a brother to me and you very quickly became my little sister. That being said, I want to stress to every one that today is supposed to be perfect and WE are going to make sure it is,” her words are firm as she gestures around the room to your bridesmaids, “these two mean the absolute world to me and after everything it took to get them to this point I will not settle for ‘okay’, we’re looking for perfection.”
“Char, it’s-” You try to stop her, feeling like she’s making far too big a deal out of your day.
“Nope, Y/N, let me say this, you deserve it.” She shushes you before continuing, “I want everyone to have an absolute blast but most importantly I NEED Y/N and Lewis to have the best day of their lives. Annoying guest? Figure it out. Issue with the rings? Find me or Miles. Trouble with your dress? Suck it up, today isn’t about us.” Her voice is that of a strict teacher as she lectures your family and friends and you can’t help but roll your eyes and laugh before the comment about the rings latches on to your brain, “Y/N, babe, I love you so much and I am so happy for you. You are marrying the best human I know, well second to you of course, and I cannot wait to see the life that you two create together, I know it will be magical. Cheers everybody!”
You barely even register the sweet words she directs at you as she finishes her speech, your body working on auto pilot to raise you mimosa for her toast. The moment she sees the look on your face she’s rushing over to you.
“Hon, what’s wrong? You look worried.”
“What’s wrong with the rings? They’re here, right? They look correct? Nothing’s broken? You said there’s a problem with the rings, what's the problem?” You rush out your new concerns, not taking a moment to think once she’s in front of you.
“What? No, no, everything’s fine. Why would there be a problem with the rings?” She asks you confused for a moment before the realization dawns on her face, “Oh sweetie that was just an example, everything is totally fine. It’s exactly like we talked about, I have your band and Miles has Lewis’, I even texted him when we got here to make sure he had it. Do you want to see yours? I have it in my bag, I can go grab it.” Her words of reassurance are rushed as she tries to calm the new anxiety fluttering through your mind.
“No, oh my god, sorry, I just…” You shake your head, wanting to laugh at yourself for becoming so panicked so quickly, “I think my brain just blacked out after I heard ‘issue with the rings’, I don’t know why I let that freak me out so much.”
“It’s okay, you have a lot going on and this is a big deal, don’t worry about it, it’s what I’m here for.” Charlotte calms you, rubbing your forearm as she squats in front of your chair.
“Alright beautiful bride! Ready to make that gorgeous face even better?” Javier’s voice comes excitedly from behind you, rubbing your shoulders as he tries to coax you to turn around so he can start on your makeup.
You take a deep breath, the reality of the day settling into the pit of your stomach, before turning around, ready to be transformed. You’ve had him do this look on you numerous times, wanting to make sure it was exactly what you wanted and you trust his skills, but still the underlying anxiety refuses to leave you. You had opted for a more natural look, similar to what you would do on the day to day but elevated, you wanted to look like yourself, like the you that Lewis fell in love with. As you sat in the chair being pampered, listening to people bustle around behind you, a billion new scary thoughts and anxieties swarmed through your head.
You know you’re making the right choice, there is no one in the universe better made for you than Lewis and no one who you could love or love you more than him. You know everything is taken care of and planned to your liking, but you didn’t place each flower or taste every dish prepared today. You know all of the most important people in your life RSVP’d yes, but you haven’t laid eyes on them today, you don’t know if they’ve arrived on time. Every single detail that has been a stress in the back of your mind for the last year has now become the only thing you can think about. You’re trying so hard to let them slip to the background, to stay in the moment, enjoy the laughter of your bridal party and the random chatter from Javier, but it doesn’t work.
Your mom is the first to notice, seeing you with a furrowed brow and your eyes shut tight as Javier steps away to grab something.
“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” She asks quietly, her hand resting on your shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze.
The sound of her voice almost brings you to tears and you can’t quite explain why. You look at her through the mirror, noticing the deep concern on her face.
“Everyone wants it to be so perfect, what if it isn’t? I asked everyone to travel so far and what if it lets them down. The Hamilton wedding is supposed to be THE event, what if it’s not right or something goes wrong or it isn’t what people were expecting?” You ramble so quietly you’re worried she won’t be able to hear you.
“Oh, my sweet girl,” She says through a pout, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and meeting you cheek to cheek, “not an ounce of what you just said matters, I know you’re nervous but don’t stress yourself. Today is supposed to be one of the best days of your life, not because of how fancy it is or what caterer you hired, but because you are marrying a man that will love you, protect you, and take care of you for the rest of your life. I know that it feels like it’s all about the party and the flair, but today you are taking a step for you and Lewis and that is all that matters, you are building your life with an amazing man who would move mountains for you and that is all that matters. All you have to worry about is making it to the end of the aisle, saying I Do, and kissing your husband. We’re all just lucky that we get to witness it.”
“Fuck,” you breathe out with a dry laugh, “you’re right. It’s just so much.”
“Just keep reminding yourself that that beautiful man is going to be legally yours till death do you part.” She laughs before kissing your cheek, lightening your mood as you picture his perfect face. While her words do ease your nerves a new very important thought pops into your head, a new non-negotiable.
“Charlotte.” You call out urgently, aware of your time crunch.
“I’m here, what do you need?” She asks quickly, rushing to your side like a lady in wait.
“Lewis,” You start, watching as her eyebrows shoot up in a disapproving look, “no I know, I won’t look at him or let him look at me, I just need to squeeze his hand and hear his voice, I promise.”
She still doesn’t look quite convinced as you plead with her, “Y/N, no seeing Lewis was a very hard rule from day one of wedding planning. Are you sure?”
“Char, please, figure out a way so I don’t see him, we’ll stick to the rules but he’s been there to calm me down and make sure I’m okay for every major thing in my life for a more than half a decade and I don’t know about you but I’d say this is a pretty major thing! It won’t be any worse than me talking to him last night, I swear.” You plead with her, grabbing her hands, suddenly very set on needing to at least speak to Lewis before walking down the aisle.
“Okay, okay, yes, I will make it happen, but before you get into your dress, just in case, gimme a sec.” She agrees as her face softens, seeing your desperation, realizing that she too would need Lewis for a moment before something this big. He may be your lover, your fiance, the man you are about to spend the rest of your life with, but at the core he is your best friend, the man that has been there for you since you showed up at game night years ago, your other half.
Charlotte quickly leaves the room after squeezing your hand and telling Javier he can start working again. You assume she’s headed to find Miles, or she’s gone straight to Lewis. You start to get anxious yet again that you may be causing Lewis anxiety, you should have told her to tell him that you’re fine and just being selfish, remembering the moment of fear you had last night when he had called you.
You’re not sure how long it takes her but once your makeup is finished she has returned and is requesting for you to follow her. You feel silly walking out of the suite with pinned hair and your robe on but all you can think about is talking to Lewis, eager to hear his voice as if you’ve just started dating. Charlotte ushers you down a hallway to an empty room with a door on the other side. You’re far enough away from everyone that the noise has quieted and you can subsequently feel your brain calming down, realizing just how overstimulated you’ve been for the last few hours. Charlotte guides you to the far wall of the room, next to the door frame, turning you to back up against it before gently knocking on the door. It takes only a second for the door to open, Miles’ smiling face appearing next to you.
“Well hello beauty, you look fucking incredible.” He says before leaning in to kiss your cheek.
“It’s not fair that I don’t get to see her.” You hear your fiance whine from the other side of the wall, making you giggle and your cheeks warm.
“All in due time brother, you’re the lucky one though, you get to see her at the altar.” Miles says teasingly, leaning back through the door to look at Lewis before coming back to you, “So I have your fiance here as requested. Char and I will give you guys some privacy.”
“Thank you Miles, I’m sorry if this is a pain, I just needed a minute.” You tell him, reaching out to squeeze his arm.
Before he can respond, Miles is bursting out into a laugh, “Love, this was a help on my end, mans has been so annoyed that he hasn’t been allowed to see you all day, he hasn’t shut up about you once. Enjoy, you evidently both need it.” He says as his laughter begins to die down, sending a disapproving look into the room behind you where you assume Lewis is giving him the same back. “You guys have five minutes, and absolutely no peeking.”
“We won’t.” You and Lewis both promise in unison, making both of you giggle as Charlotte and Miles walk away to another room to give you your privacy.
“I mean it!” Miles turns around to yell, still walking backwards as he points his finger at you, “ I will know just by the look on bruvs face if he caught a glimpse of you, don’t you dare.”
“We’ll be good, I promise. Thank you guys!” You yell back at him as they disappear through a nearby door.
“Hey you.” You hear Lewis’ soft voice after a moment, your heart swelling just upon hearing the recognizable timbre.
“Hi.” You squeak, forgetting everything you had wanted to say when you asked Charlotte to make this happen.
“Are you okay?” He asks you, his voice filled with concern and care.
“Yes, oh my god yes,” You start, your anxiety of concerning him coming back tenfold, “I’m so sorry, I just, I don’t know, I was getting really anxious and then I realized that I haven’t had a big moment in life without you either being right there or calling me for like more than five years and then I got worried that I wouldn’t make it through something like this without talking to you first, which is silly because I know I’m literally preparing myself to marry you, like I’m going to see you at the altar in like an hour but I don’t know, my mom said all this stuff about how amazing you are trying to calm my nerves and then I realized I absolutely had to at least talk to you and I’m sorry if you were busy, I’m not trying to be needy, you just calm me and this day is so much and there's so much going on and it has to be perfect and-” Your words are rushed, not thinking them through as you ramble to him, not stopping to even take a breath.
“Y/N,” Lewis cuts you off, his voice firm but gentle, “it’s okay, please take a breath.”
You drop your head, almost embarrassed by how calm he sounds with the emotions swirling around in your head at the moment. You listen to his request and take a deep breath, trying to calm your breathing and your mind.
“Good, now another.” He instructs you calmly as you feel his hand sneak around the door frame and brush your hip.
The moment you see his skin you reach down and grasp his hand firmly, needing him to ground you as you take yet another deep breath.
“I’m sorry.” You whisper as you squeeze his hand, trying to breathe like he wants you to.
“Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for,” He starts softly, squeezing your hand just as firmly, “I know this whole thing is a lot and there’s so much going on, but none of that is important. I don’t give a fuck how anything goes as long as I get to end the night married to you, that’s all that matters today,” His voice is soft as he assures you, washing over you like a warm blanket before it turns cheeky as he adds, “well I also want to see you in that dress and obviously whatever you have underneath it.”
You want to laugh and cry at the same time, amused by how easily a stupid (yet serious) comment could lift your spirits, simply because it came from him. Amazed that the same sentiment that has been spoken to you by everyone around you with no avail, could take a burden off your chest simply because they came from his mouth.
“I love you so much Lew.” You reply, squeezing his hand so hard you’re worried you’ll hurt him, trying to fight back tears as you do.
“I love you so much my sweet girl and I will tell you just how much when you meet me at the altar. You’ve changed my life, you’ve made me a better man, a better human, you’ve made me happier than I knew was even possible and I want nothing more than to marry you today. I don’t care how that happens, if you want to run away right now and head to vegas we can, at the end of the day I just want you. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and nothing matters besides us. This whole castle could burn down right now and as long as I still had you I truly would not care. I love you so much and today is going to be incredible no matter what happens, but I bet you nothing will go wrong because we planned it and we’re pretty amazing.” He sealed his words with a kiss to the back of your hand, chuckling as he finished. His lips on your skin gave you a whole new sense of confidence and ignited a fire in the pit of your stomach.
You wished so badly that you could see him, that you could properly kiss him, but you reminded yourself that you were close to the finish line, that he would be all yours soon.
“I love you too, so so much, thank you for this, I’m sorry if I interrupted, I just needed to hear your voice and be close to you.” You admit to him with a sigh as you lean back against the wall.
“You’re never an interruption, whenever you need me I’m here, always. Besides, Miles wasn’t lying, I’ve been going crazy since we left the rehearsal dinner wanting to see you, touch you, kiss you, talk to you, literally anything. I know we’ve gone weeks apart from each other but everything feels different right now.” He tells you, making you smile, that you're not completely alone in your desperation. You take a moment, leaning against the wall in silence as you hold his hand, letting your nerves wash away.
“Alright, love birds! Time to go get fancy and hit the altar!” Miles’ voice cuts through your moment as he hollers and claps, returning to the room.
You let out a sigh, wishing your moment with Lewis could continue but reluctantly begin to move away from the wall. Before you can get too far, he is gripping your hand and pulling you back to place a kiss on your hand before leaving a lingering kiss on your pulse point.
“I love you Y/N, just come meet me at the altar. Nothing else matters.” His words are muttered into the skin of your wrist before he finally lets you go and Charlotte is ushering you away back to your suite as Miles stands guard making sure Lewis doesn’t cheat and sneak a peek at you.
“Feeling better?” Char asks as you make your way down the hall.
“So much better, I feel perfect.” You say through a smile, meaning it wholeheartedly, “ I’M GETTING MARRIED!”
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bumblebeesfromvenus · 11 months ago
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Deck the Halls 🎻
Bale!Bruce Wayne x Wife!reader
A/N: This is the ultimate crossover, Bale!Bruce and Christmas, what more could you want??? I don't know quite how I feel about it mainly because I wrote most of it at 3 am lmao. Love-hate relationship, I guess. I hope you like it, anyway!
~Fi 🐝
Fi's Christmas Market ☃️
Warnings: implied angst?? Mention of his parents' death (very briefly), so much fluff omg, starring Alfred, Selina, and Lucius, Bruce is obsessed with you <3
Word count: 3.6k
Please don't copy my work! I put a lot of effort and heart into the things I write.
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"A Gingerbread house contest?"
Bruce gave you a skeptical look as you explained your idea for the annual Wayne Yule Ball. You were sitting at the meeting table in the office of Wayne Enterprises, brain storming ideas to make this years Gala a little more interesting. The events were always quite boring, the only thing keeping your spirits up was the bar most of the time.
You'd occasionally hang around on the side lines with Alfred, people-watching Gothams wealth. This year had to be different. You were sick and tired of the fad and dragging evenings.
This was the Yule Ball, after all. The Manor would be decked in lights and ornaments, the lovely tunes of Christmas would echo through the halls and you'd actually have some fun for once.
Bruce would try to make them more bearable for you, inviting you to dance as much as he could, even if it earned him detesting looks. He wasn't a huge fan either, but it was his duty. He'd rather be curled up with you, feeling your warmth against his skin while doing your favorite festive activities.
Selina was seated next to you, twirling a pen between her fingers, looking like she was about to collapse from boredom. Alfred sat next to Bruce with a notepad, writing down any ideas that had come forth. Lucius was there too, of course, hoping to aid in any technical things.
"Yeah, why not? We need to do something interesting this year, and a making Gingerbread houses is a pretty classic activity, no?" You responded, shrugging slightly.
"I'll definitely come to the Ball if you pull through with that." Selina smirked. Bruce sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.
"Are you sure this is a good idea, honey? I mean, most of the people that attend aren't really ones to get their hands dirty."
"If I may, Master Bruce, I think it's a great idea." Alfred interrupted politely, making you smile. "I think it's important for the rich of Gotham to not lose touch with the average life. And, it'd be quite sweet, wouldn't it?"
Alfred grinned, proud of the pun he just made. You let put a small giggle while Selina and Lucius were smiling slightly. Bruce, on the other hand, sighed as his brows pulled together.
"Alright, so if we do this, who's going to be the judge?" He asked, finally caving in to your request.
"I knew you'd come around," you smiled, watching as a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth, "I think it's pretty obvious. Alfred should judge the houses."
"Me? Miss, I'm flattered but I don't think I have the expertise to-"
"Nonesense, Alfie," Selina cut him off, "We've all seen what you can do in the kitchen. If anyone's going to judge anything, it should be you."
"I agree. He does make a mean Victoria Sponge." Luscius agreed, his reasoning strong enough to make Alfred ponder for a moment.
"It doesn't just have to be houses. We can just give them creative freedom, let them go at it." You suggested, earning nods of approval.
"I can't believe I'm about to say this," Selina mumbled, inhaling a sharp breath,"What if we make it a family event? Let them bring their kids. They'd probably be more open to the whole idea that way."
"Good thinking, Miss Kyle."
Bruce chewed on his lips as he thought. This would be very different than most years. His parents had started the tradition of a yearly Yule Ball, and he was afraid to make changes. But then he thought back to how his parents always tried to keep a somewhat humble life to be able to help the people in need more efficiently. Also, he could never say no to you.
"Okay. Why not. Even if they don't enjoy it, at least we'll have a good time." He smiled softly, looking at you. You almost beamed with excitment.
"We need a price too, right? What's the point of a contest without a price." Selina intervened. A silence fell over the room as everyone was thinking of what the price coule be.
"I say we give the winner an hour with Bruce's credit card and see how much damage they can do." You snorted, meaning it as a joke but when you weren't met with disagreement a surpirsed expression took over your face.
"Fine by me." Bruce shrugged. You forgot that he was a billionaire sometimes.
"Well, I wasn't expecting that but that just upped my determination by 100%." Selina grinned, making Bruce roll his eyes.
Bruce started talking to Lucius about the organizational aspects while you discreetly high fived Selina under the table. You'd talked about this idea before, your friend mostly finding it funny that the most esteemed people of Gotham would have to struggle with sprinkles and sticky icing.
She was quite impressed you pulled through, although that Bruce agreed wasn't a surprise to her. He'd do about anything you asked, which she sometimes used to her advantage.
"You truly have him wrapped around your finger, huh?" Selina mused, sending a sly smirk your way. You leaned back in your chair, inspecting the shimmering wedding band on your hand.
"Well, he wouldn't have put a ring on it if I hadn't." You grinned, making Selina shake her head with a chuckle.
"When do I need to be there to see Gotham get down and dirty?"
"December 25th, 8:00 pm, Wayne Manor."
"See ya then." The brunette gave you one last grin before taking her leave, claiming she had some 'business' to attend to. The so called 'business' would surely end up on the front page of the Gotham Gazette tomorrow morning. She was a great friend despite her passion for her illegal hobby. You couldn't really blame her, though. She'd grown up with nothing, and had to fight to survive.
You were the last one to complain if one of Gothams renowned business men mysteriously lost a couple of million dollars, which then appeared donated to a charity the next day. She'd never steal from you, or Bruce.
That's not to say she hadn't tried, but Selina did find that Martha's necklace suited you just a tad better than her. She had quite the soft spot for you, you weren't like the rest of the wealthy people she knew. You were honest, understanding and kind. Selina put a great amount of trust in you and she knew you'd never break it. If that meant having to put up with Bruce once in a while, so be it.
Alfred slipped into the seat next to you, Bruce and Luscius still discussing the guest list, when to send the invites, and to order all the necessary things for the contest.
"Truly a marvelous idea, Mrs. Wayne. He never dared to make any changes before you came along, you know?"
You turned you head towards him, a slight blush on your cheeks. Did you really have that much of an impact on him? To think that you were the one that made the Bruce Wayne soften and be more open to change made your heart swell with pride.
"Really? I thought he just never cared that much. For the Ball, I mean." You said, intrigued of what you were about to learn from Alfred about your beloved Husband.
"No, no, not at all. It was his favorite thing as a boy. What I'd do to see him happy like that again." The older man sighed, a melancholic tint in his eyes.
You smiled at the thought of Bruce being excited for Christmas. Just being a boy. You reckoned all of that changed after his parents' death. The warm and loving holiday was now left in gray dullness and the emptiness that he felt in his heart when he'd sit under the tree, all alone, yearning for a hug from his father and the gentle touch of his mothers lips on his cheek.
You were determined to fill that void, shower him in all your love until the gaping hole in his chest was fixed. Who knew if it was possible, but you were willing to give it your all.
"You will, I promise." You replied softly, gently placing your hand on his arm. Alfred gave you an appreciative smile, the sadness in his eyes wavering slightly. He softly padded your hand, resting it on it for a moment.
"You make him so happy already, though. I suppose I can't complain too much, can I?" He joked, making you laugh softly.
"I'm just loving him, that's all."
"That's all he needed." Alfred smiled softly.
Bruce glanced over to you, his heart pouding with pure love as he saw you laughing with Alfred. His two favorite people were getting along so well, it made unbridled joy bloom in his chest. You had changed his life, only for the better, you made him feel like a person again.
For years he'd been aimlessly wandering, hoping to find himself. He was lost in the dark, going through life pretending to be someone he wasn't. Or was he? He didn't know. But you were his guiding light, your gentle flicker lighting up his path. Your soft warmth getting him through many a cold night when the thoughts of self doubt and fear were gnawing at him.
All he needed was you pressed against his chest, your soft breathing like a sweet lullaby to him as you slept peacefully in his arms.
"Mister Wayne? Mister Wayne-" Lucius voice broke him out of his daydream, his back straightend and he cleared his throat, hoping no one caught him. You were still chatting on with Alfred, so you hadn't noticed, good. But when he looked over to Lucius, there was a knowing smirk on the man's face.
"Yes, Mr. Fox? Do you have the guest list ready?" Bruce questioned, fiddling with his fingers. He looked at Lucius expectantly, trying to hide his slight embarrassment.
"I don't blame you for staring. She fills the role of Mrs. Wayne perfectly." He answered, a gentle smile on his face. Bruce's shoulders immediately dropped, the tension fading away. He let out a small huff through his nose with a tight lipped smile.
"She does, doesn't she? It's like she was made for this. Made for me." He said quietly, the adoring look in his eyes as he admired you not being missed by the Inventor. Lucius placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
"Why don't you spend the day together? I'll take care of everything." He said reassuringly.
Bruce's eyes widened slightly and he turned to face Lucius.
"Lucius-"
"No, I won't hear it. Go on, spend the day with her." He gave him chuckle before patting his back and gathering his things.
"We're done here, Mrs. Wayne. You can have your husband back." Lucius laughed, packing up the last of his documents. You giggled, which immediately set Bruce's heart aflame.
"How gracious of you, Mr. Fox." You teased, getting out of your chair, Alfred by your side.
"Let's go, my love. We have Christmas movies to watch and a dog to cuddle." You chirped, dragging him out of his chair.
All he could do was smile as he let himself be taken by you and wonder how he got this damn lucky.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
You were now curled up on the couch, Bruce by your side, his arm draped around you. Your dog, Rudy, was snoozing on your lap as you scratched his head. The extra weight and warmth of your pup made it hard to keep your eyes open.
You were resting comfortably against Bruce, who traced gentle patterns on your arm as he was tentatively watching the TV. A smile tugged at your lips at Bruce's soft breaths, his strong chest falling and rising, lulling you to sleep. Your smile was cut off by a yawn. You lifted your hand from Rudy's head to cover your mouth, but he let out a whine, immediately nudging at your hand.
You chuckled groggily, trying to keep the sleep at bay so you could enjoy your moment with Bruce.
"'M sorry, buddy." You cooed, going back to petting your fur baby.
"You're tired, honey, I'll take over. Go to sleep." Bruce said softly in your ear, gently moving your hand and replacing it with his, making Rudy's tail wag slightly.
"S'your fault for being so warm and comfy and- you." You mumbled, letting your head fall against his shoulder.
"I mean, I can stop." He teased, taking his arm away from around you. You caught his wrist in a surprisingly tight grip.
"Do it and see what happens." You slurred, eyes still closed. Even in your sleepy state, you were still your feisty little self.
"Alright, I'd like to keep my arm, please." He laughed, wrapping his arm around you again, just a little tighter this time. You nuzzled closer to his side, making Rudy begrudgingly adjust his position as well.
"Are you excited for the Yule Ball?" You asked quietly, looking up at your husband as best as you could with sleep tugging at your limbs.
"I am. For the first time in a while, actually. Thanks to you." He replied with a soft smile, placing a chaste kiss on the tip of your nose. A lopsided smile crept onto your face, and you stretched your neck a bit to press a sweet kiss to his lips.
"I love you." You mumbled before finally dozing off with a smile on your face.
"I love you too, honey." Bruce whispered gently, his lips pressed to the top of your head as he sunk into the couch.
He couldn't wait for the Ball. Something he loved so dearly that was tainted for him for many years was now coming back to him brighter than ever. All thanks to you, the lovely woman he chose to marry.
He'd marry you anew every single day if he could.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
The day had finally come, and you were a nervous wreck. You really didn't want to mess this up. You had big shoes to fill; Martha Wayne was loved by Gotham, and now that you held the title of Mrs. Wayne, you didn't want to disappoint anyone.
Not the people of Gotham, not Martha, but most importantly, not him. You'd been running around like a headless chicken the entire day, double checking everything so nothing could go wrong.
The decorations were being set up, and you might've snapped at a poor worker for hanging one of the garlands a little too much to the right. You were stressed out of your mind, regretting ever suggesting this. Right now, you were checking if all the sheets of Gingerbread had arrived and if all the decorations were set up.
The gentle touch of Bruce's hand on your shoulder snapped you out of the frenzy in your head. He guided you to a quiet corner with a hand on the small of your back.
"Bruce, I have to get back to-"
He interrupted you with a firm kiss, cupping your cheeks.
"No. You're completely stressing yourself out, and we can't have that. I'll take care of everything. And now you need to take care of yourself. Take a bath, get ready, do whatever you need to do. Please, calm down. Everything will be perfect, I promise." He said it so softly you could feel all the anxiety and stress fall away.
You let out a deep breath as you leaned into his touch.
"Okay. Thank you." You sighed with a small smile.
"Good. You know very well that tiring you out is my job." He said lowly with a glint in his eyes. You huffed and playfully hit his arm.
"Go check on the sprinkles."
"Yes, Ma'am."
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
You did as he said, you took a bath to ease the tension in your muscles that had been building up throughout the day.
Now, you were sitting at your vanity, adding some final touches to your make-up. The guest would arrive soon, and you were glad the excitement took over the anxiety.
Bruce walked into your shared bedroom, fixing his cuffs.
"Are you almost ready?" He asked, not looking at you, still fiddling with his suit. You responded with a small 'Mhm!' and walked over to him, brushing some wrinkles out of your gown. When he did look at you, he visibly stopped in his tracks.
You were wearing a green velvet gown with lace accents, and he was completely enarmoured. When his gaze trailed upwards, he caught sight of his mothers necklace sitting around your neck. If you weren't already married, he'd would've proposed right now.
"You look stunning." He breathed out, hie pupils dilated. You chuckled softly, brushing your hand over the lapel of his jacket.
"Thank you. You look quite handsome yourself." You teased, earning a small smirk from him. His hands settled in your waist. Bruce hastily pulled you in for a passionate kiss.
The air was knocked from your lungs as his lips moved so perfectly against yours. You melted into his touch but caught yourself before you'd do something that'd make you two very late.
"Alright," you breathed heavily, steadying your hands on his chest, "that's enough, Lover boy. We have a Ball to host."
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
All the guests had arrived and Bruce stepped into the center of the room, beginning his welcoming speech.
"Welcome, Everyone, I'm very glad you could join us here today for the annual Wayne Yule Ball. This is a tradition that my parents started that I wish to keep on as long as I can."
"This year will be a little different. Courtesy of my lovely wife, Mrs. Wayne," he looked in your direction and reached out his hand for you to take with a gentle smile, which you did without hesitation,"there will be a gingerbread house contest. I see you've brought your little ones and I hope that this will be a pleasant and memorable evening for us all." He ended his speech with a soft smile.
"Feel free to take as much times as you desire. Everything you need is provided, so all you need now is your imagination and creativity." You spoke up.
"Your delicious creations will be judged and the winner gets a nice reward. I hope you have a lovely time and a Merry Christmas!"
There was a small round of applause before old and young scrambled towards the tables decked with gingerbread, sprinkles and icing, to begin their gingerbread builds. You participated too, you'd teamed up with Selina, who had been nursing a flute of champagne until now.
Bruce and Lucius decided to indulge as well, already planning out their engineered masterpiece.
"Let's show 'em our claws." Selina smiled slyly. The lights made her dark blue dress embroidered with sparkling stars stand out. She looked very good this evening.
And Bruce might've paid for that dress... unknowingly.
"You got it, kitty." You replied with a smirk.
You were going the classic route. It would be a house, but more of a whimsical cottage type. Vines if icing were woven around the gingerbread walls, blooming into blankets of Ivy. The roof would be decked in sweet snow and delicate sugar flowers.
Selina couldn't help but add a tiny cat hidden at the back of the house. The atmosphere was delightful, laughter and chatter whisked through the room accompanied by the tunes of Christmas songs.
The decorations that adorned the walls and ceilings of the Manor dipped the room in a warm glow. You decided to glance over at Bruce and Lucius, to see what they'd come up with. When your gaze met their creation the piping bag of icing slipped from your hands and your jaw slacked.
"They built the goddamn batmobile." You said in disbelief, making your partner perk up.
She scoffed and went back to, now aggressively, pushing small sugar decorations into the icing.
"Show offs." Selina grumbled.
Bruce noticed your staring and shot you a toothy grin.
"A sweet ride, don't you think?"
You groaned at his terrible joke and shook your head.
"Unbelievable." You muttered, going back to perfecting your little house.
The chattered had died down as the judging began. Everyone watched in anticipation as Alfred made his way through room, inspecting each Gingerbread sculpture carefully. He made some small comments here and there, mainly on the ones the children had made.
In the end, a little girl and her sister won- they'd built, or at least tried to, a castle. Alfred thought it was very charming, and it reminded him of home, so naturally, he picked them as winners. They were overjoyed, jumping around excitedly, gushing it about it to their parents.
The girls earned a round of applause, and an arm slipped around your waist.
"A shame we didn't win." Bruce sighed playfully.
"I can't believe you built the batmobile. I expected a lot, but not that." You laughed, the lights reflecting off of you perfectly. Or at least that's what Bruce thought.
"But it was fun, don't you think? Thank you, again, for agreeing." You said softly. Bruce smiled at you, and gentle squeezed at your side.
"Anything for you. I can't wait to see what you come up with next year." He kissed your cheek, pulling you closer as you watched the joy and holiday cheer fill the room.
He truly couldn't wait for next year, to deck the halls with you by his side.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫
It didn't turn out as Christmas-y as I wanted it to, but I hope you enjoyed reading it nonetheless! <3
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takenbypeter · 2 years ago
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When Symbiote Meets Symbiote
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Eddie Brock x reader
Words:1283
Author’s note: This isn’t exactly like the request there could be more arguing but I’ve been trying to write this for awhile and this is all i got and I’m tired of thinking about how to make this better so this is is it
Requested by anonymous: Obsessed with the thought of Eddie running into someone else with a symbiote, n y know they're alike in the sense that their symbiote is... well they're not as murder happy as Carnage n such, Problem is that Y/N's symbiote doesn't know that Venom isn't really a threat to their host, and Venom doesn't know S/N isn't a threat to him
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It was one of those late nights…you know the kind.
Those kind of nights were only the overhead streetlights guided your footsteps and cars zoomed by despite how dark it was out. The kind that had some people clutching their purses, while others walked around with hoods over their heads while minding their own business.
You were a part of the latter, having to run a small sort of errand so late and were just about on your way home.
The past you would’ve been terrified roaming the streets but the present you? The present you, was just fine with it.
The present you had no fear.
Okay not no fear but let’s say less fear, but anyone with your…”condition” would feel the same.
Suddenly feeling a cold rush of wind against your face you felt the dryness of your lips starting to irritate you. Pulling out your teeny tiny chapstick, you yank the top off. Pulling it a little too hard, it drops and rolls down the sidewalk. Despite knowing you’re not going to use that again, you still refused to litter and you followed after it.
With a bend at the knees you reached for the small object but became easily distracted at the sound of the sudden thrashing you heard coming from the alleyway right beside you.
Then, you heard some yelling. Curiosity quickly took over you, you stood there wondering if you should go and help, or you should instead just go about your day and mind your own business.
The latter was always, always so tempting.
“What to do? What to do?” You whispered under your breath before you heard the familiar voice.
“Let’s go check it out! Might get some brains out of it!”
You rolled your eyes at the clear excitement in your symbiote’s voice.
Creeping closer to the chaos your eyes quickly turn attention to the shadow that’s illuminated on the wall across from you.
You didn’t know what you were looking at.
All you knew was that it was huge.
The shadow appeared to be some huge bodybuilder type, and in his grip looked to be a body.
You watched in slight horror as the giant mass of shadow’s mouth seemed to split open before it ate the small body’s head clean off.
Now, having lived with a symbiote yourself for some time now, this seemed like very very familiar behavior, you in fact have eaten a couple heads yourself. But not once have you met or even seen another symbiote.
“Oh my god is that—?”
“A symbiote.”
After seeing what you just saw you’re not sure how to react, but your symbiote, Abyss does, “we can take ‘em.”
You knew you had a very tight knit bond with Abyss, therefore making you very powerful together, however you weren’t so sure about this.
“Wait, let’s just see what were up against first,” you suggested.
“Our bond is so strong, we‘re more than half as powerful as I am on my planet. Let’s go now while they’re distracted.”
“Okay wait let's just…wait.”
Despite feeling different about the situation than you, Abyss listens and you try to figure out what was going on, as you did your best to creep along the wall discreetly, until you’re standing behind the black symbiote. Before you could get “geared up,” as you might call it, you see the body in its hand fall and the black ooze slowly seems to disappear inside of someone revealing a rather normal looking man.
You let out an, “oh my god,” not as discreetly as you probably should have, because the man turns around spotting you.
He doesn’t have much time to react because soon the dark purple color of your own symbiote begins to surround you, covering every inch of your body until you’re fully concealed.
The man is clearly confused at what he sees before him. “Who the hel—“
Before the man can finish that question Abyss’ purple material goes out practically body slamming him onto the wall.
Inside your jaw drops, “you didn’t even let him finish,” you felt like he at least deserved that.
You watch as the poor man struggles to get up, using the wall as a helper, “wait, I just wanna—“ another slam against the wall, this time a double hit and you almost feel sorry for the guy who seemed to pose no actual threat.
It seems like Abyss may have thrown one too many punches because a new voice, a deep and raspy one shouts, “that’s it,” before the man becomes engulfed in the deep black-like material once again.
You really didn’t want to fight the guy, but thanks to Abyss it seemed like you no longer had the choice.
“I’ll eat you up and spit you out for breakfast,” said Abyss, clearly taking a line from one of the many wrestling matches that you‘even heard before.
You didn’t even have a chance to hold back Abyss because soon, the two symbiotes were practically tearing each other apart. Hitting each other left and right, uppercuts, pinning each other to the walls, it was almost an evenly met match.
It came to the point where they were pushing each other, hand gripping hand, and you couldn’t help but wonder, why you were even fighting this guy in the first place?
While Abyss and this random symbiote were screaming in each others faces, you fought to have your face revealed, and you managed to get out, “time out, time out. Can we all just time out and talk?”
It was a stretch simply asking for that while the two were at each others throats and clearly the symbiote across from you didn’t favor the idea.
“Ha you must be joking if you think—“
“V,” came a voice as the man’s face pulled through, “V come on, they just want to talk.”
A second passes by and the symbiote he called, “V” growls.
Taking this as a sign of hesitant agreement, you announce, “okay we’re backing down,” and although not on board with this, Abyss let’s go.
V doesn’t even let a moment pass before leaping and taking the opportunity to pin you by the throat. But before it can do any harm you hear the man shouting for it to let go and after struggling for a moment it lets go.
You grapple to collect your breath, as the two argued against the opposite wall.
“Venom, what the hell was that?”
“What? I thought it was a trick. How was I supposed to trust them? They tried to kill us first.”
Venom wasn’t the only one who was upset as you heard Abyss mumbling, “they’re distracted, why don’t we attack now and get it over with, they shouldn’t be here,” Abyss suggested.
“No Abyss, we’re just going to talk and figure everything out.”
Abyss, not really caring anymore, falls away flowing back into your veins and your skin. While the other two continue their dispute.
“Venom we’ll just talk, not everything has to be fought its way out.”
“Because bad people love talking so much.”
“How are we supposed to know if they’re bad if we don’t talk to them?”
“Don’t come to me when you’re lying in a ditch, I can just find another body to occupy anyway.”
“You know that’s not true.”
You almost don’t want to interrupt with how intense they were going back and forth but the man sensed you behind him, which interrupted their talk. Turning to you just human to human now, he asks, “do you want to get hot chocolate?”
And there’s really nothing else for you to say except, “I would love to get hot chocolate.”
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thisliminalspacedaydreams · 11 days ago
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Listen I don’t think reading or writing smut should be something one is ashamed of.
I am pretty sure smut isn’t sexual most of the time anyway (as in, purpose). There is no way so much fucking smut has been written just for sex purposes.
Here are some reasons why I think people read and write smut:
- it’s fun. Sex is a thing +95% of the adult world practices (and sometimes enjoys) and we are only ashamed of it cuz society told us it was a shameful topic. Which makes us naturally
- curious. What do other people think sex is like? Fanfic especially gives us raw, unbetad vision of what sex can be straight from another person’s mind. It can inspire, disgust or arouse, but it’s gonna be a learning experience regardless.
- it’s intimate and if there is one thing our current society lacks by miles it’s intimacy. I think it can be comforting to read about people being intimate.
- it’s funny. Sometimes you read tags or a book blurb like the Ruby Dixon Alien porn thingy and you think “now i gotta know what this is about”. IT IS FUNNY. And writing it can be funny and reading it can be funny and it can be a funny experience actually it doesn’t have to be a sexual one (is it even sexual that often?
- you can work out your kinks in a (relatively) safe space.
- You can work out your trauma.
- You can work out a potential fantasy that you only want in your brain.
- Maybe you want the relationship you worked so hard at building for thousands of words to translate sexually speaking because in a romance that’s sometimes the buildup. And the major action scene is the sex. And it’s just a narrative tool.
None of this is/has to be real.
I am so tired of the narrative that porn is a horny behavior. It really isn’t. It can be, but I would wager it’s less than 30% that is actually horny.
I am ace. I don’t care about sex in my real life at all. But Smut is so fun to me. Writing it or reading it is SO FUN. Sometimes I cackle and sometimes I cringe and sometimes I hide my face and go « ohmygod » and sometimes I think « sweet » and sometimes I—
Do you get it?
Sex isn’t shameful and neither is omegaverse egg dragon implant monster fucking smut.
I would like to drop the weird convinctions people have that smut readers/writers are degenerates. Go touch grass.
(Also yeah data is probably skewed just extrapolate plz)
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w0rmfreak · 1 month ago
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Scene Writing?
okay so I did this thing with my partner and I wanna write it out fully bc I NEED to relive it. It was so much fun.
Two siblings who bicker back and forth all the time. They love each other obviously, as much as siblings should at least.
I texted him earlier to bring home some pineapple after work. It’s my favourite after all, and he was usually nice enough to bring some. Checking my phone to find a thumbs up reaction from him. Sweet little treat from big bro. Great, because we planned on going to the gym together after we both got off our jobs anways.
I’m home, and he opens the door to find me all ready in my gym clothes.
“What the hell are you wearing?”
“Huh? I’m wearing clothes for the gym? Shorts, sports bra and hoodie.”
“You look like a whore.”
Ugh. Gross. He was always the worst.
We go work out together, He proposed we did legs, so I followed. Big bro always shows me how to do and exercise before I do it, and this time we started with hip thrusts.
By no means was my brother unattractive. I tease him all the time for not getting a girlfriend because I know it’s his personality that keeps it from happening. But something about watching him made my insides feel warm. He was big. My big brother is so strong. And watching his hips slam upwards like that was driving some part of my brain crazy.
It was a short day, and we headed home. Unfortunately we have to share a room. Even less fortunately, it was my turn to sleep on the futon tonight.
I munch on the pineapple and lay on the futon, watching youtube on the TV while he plays his games with his friends and hits his pen profusely. He’s fucking loud and keeps yelling or saying weird things with his friends. Guy talk i guess. No wonder he doesn’t have a girlfriend, who else could ever live with this?
He finally shuts the game off and crawls into bed.
“Hey, you can come over here if you wanna watch something together.”
I hesitate. He’s being nice to me, which is rare.
I hop up onto the bed. He’s under the duvet and i’m on top of it, underneath the blankets I brought from the futon. It’s cold. I’m so fucking cold. I shift and curl up as much as I can and it still does nothing for me.
“Can I turn off the fan? It’s cold as shit in here.”
“Just get under the blanket?”
I begrudgingly get under it, and his body warmth is so nice. His feet are warm and his hands are warm. Oh my god it’s so cozy in here. I move closer towards him, my head practically on his shoulder.
“Sorry, i’m just really cold and you’re really warm.”
He shrugs his shoulders, pulling an arm out and laying is across my chest. “It’s fine, but would you mind kinda squeezing my arm? I hurt it at the gym.”
We’re cozy, we’re cuddly, why would I say no? I gently start up by his shoulder, making my way down his biceps and forearm, going as far as to massage his palms and finger tips. I’m just being a good sister. I’m just doing him a favour since he let me crawl into bed and warm up.
His arms are so big, and his hand is resting on my lower stomach. He lets out a deep sigh and covers his eyes with his other hand.
“fuck. I am so high.”
I turn to look at him, and he looks so soft and tired. I’m cuddled up against him now, my arms wrapped around his bicep, my right leg laying across his body.
“are you gonna be good?”
“Yeah, I probably just need to sleep.”
We’re lay still, 5 maybe 10 minutes pass by before something jumps against my leg. I ignore it. Until it happens again… and again… and again.
“What the fuck is that?”
“What the fuck is what?” he says sleepily, just as i feel something bump my leg again.
“THAT!” I shift my leg off before he speaks again
“That’s my dick-“
“You have a boner!? Why?”
“Well when you’re rubbing up on me all like that it’s gonna happen.”
“I wasn’t rubbing up on you!! Just- ugh! Nevermind. Just… make it go away so I can sleep.”
I turn away from him and shut my eyes. Within a few seconds I hear a grunt and feel him shifting around.
“What the hell are you-“ I’m cut off by the sight that greets me once I turn around.
My brother. My big brother. Dick in hand looks at me.
“You told me to fix it. I’m fixing it.”
“You can’t just… I dunno… turn it off!?”
“No, I can’t turn it off. Dumbass.”
I can’t help but look at it. The lights are low so I can barely make out the shapes, but I know it’s big. Seeing his hand wrapped around his dick drives me up the wall. I want that to be my hand.
What? No I don’t! I’ve never even touched a dick before. Let alone see one!!
He can feel my staring.
“Do you wanna help?”
My body freezes. Help? Help what? Help my big brother get off?
“I-… as long as it means that it won’t be bothering me when I’m trying to go to bed.” I snapped, looking down at the length before me.
“what… what do I do?”
he guides my hand down, I’m touching his shaft and the skin is surprisingly… soft.
“play with it.” I hear him say, letting go of my hand, and placing his hands behind his head.
I do just that. Softly running my fingers up and down his length, gently massaging his sticky tip. I earn a few hitches in his breath and the occasional groan before deciding to try a little more. I mean, I’m here to get him off as fast as I can, and this clearly isn’t working.
I spit on my hand, and slowly stroke it, his leg twitches before speaking to me “Go faster.” and I obey. I start moving my hand up and down faster and faster until i feel a push against my head. “Give your brother a kiss, yeah?” and I look as I’m faced with his shiny slick member right in front of my face. I hesitantly kiss the tip. It’s so soft on my lips… I kiss it again. And again. I give it a lick and before I know it, his hand is on the back of my head pushing me down to the base. I try to cough and gag but it’s no use, He just keeps face fucking me.
I’m eventually pulled up and he sits up. Before I can get a word out, he speaks. “This isn’t working. Lay down.” And I do what he asks. I’m just… doing my big brother a favour.
I feel him pulling at my shorts and panties. I’m shaking. I’ve never had sex before, and now my first experience is with my brother of all people? Maybe it’s not so bad… I know he wouldn’t do anything to truly hurt me, besides, we’re siblings!
“Are you okay?” he asks, lining himself up with me. I’m absolutely soaked, my pussy is all wet just from touching my big brother. I hope he doesn’t think that it’s HIM that turns me on… I nod at him softly “i’m ready…” I whisper.
I feel the tip enter, and then more, and then even more. It hurts. I feel my insides being stretched out. But he’s so warm… so, so warm.
He moves. Gently at first. In and out at a slow, manageable pace, but he keeps saying these gross things while he fucks me gently.
“You like your big brother’s cock huh?”
“My baby sis is so tight for me.”
and every word that slips from his lips makes my stomach feel like it’s doing back flips.
Oh my god my stomach.
It feels so warm, like there’s a burning knot in my abdomen.
“My- my tummy feels funny-“
“That’s okay, that’s a good thing baby sis.”
I nod as the knot feels like it grows tighter and tighter.
Something snaps in me. My back arches and my toes curl, my legs squeeze him and I can’t help but to let out all sorts of icky pleasurable sounds.
“Ah- fuck- there you go.” he says, pulling out of me and pressing a thumb on my chin, forcing my mouth open. Before I even realized what happened there was this slimy stuff all in my mouth. My big brother’s cum in my mouth. I don’t want to spit it, there’s not really much reason to… is there? I look up at him and swallow before he pulls me close to him under the covers.
“Now maybe you can sleep comfortably.” He whispered in my ear.
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crabonfire · 9 months ago
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sick mercs (1/3)
characters: offense class
warnings: none, fluff and crack (I think)
note: I hate making things into parts BUUTTT pyros ALONE ended up being super long, so I'm making them based off of class!! and...its 2 am so I should probably be asleep instead of writing anyway. Parts 2 and 3 will feature the other classes, and will be written tomorrow! Cause its late and I'm tired! okay love u
no but why did I make pyros so long 😭 it was a whole fic wtf
reposts and shares appreciated (u///u)<3
♡Scout♡
•When he's sick he's SUPPPERRR dramatic over it cause when he was a kid his ma was super doting and stuff, and since he was the youngest it made sense. But with you he tries to be all suave and tough, not wanting to admit the fever he has is absolutely killing him, oh the runny nose he has? That's just cause...he...ate something spicy. Not cause of a flu, no...
•He makes an effort to not talk or see the team at all today, and weirdly, he only ever gets sick on ceasefire days. It's like his body isn't used to not doing anything and that gives him a chance to do a bunch of stupid stuff, that, in the end, gets him sick.
•So he's stuck in his room. When you or anyone else knock on his door he pretends he's asleep, and sometimes, he really is. But, when you catch him in the kitchen stealing one of Heavy's sandwiches, he's sniffling, his face slightly red (redder than usual) his expression one like a kicked puppy.
•When you confront him about it, he just acts like he's not sick.
"I'm not sick, okay?"
But when you put your foot down, getting him back to bed and getting the right medicine from the medic, he has this certain look on his face. His cheeks are red, probably because of his fever, but, it might also be caused by you.
The moment your voice turns soft, or stern, depending on how kind you wanna be to his stubbornness, his lips curl into a grin, and immediately he whines and melts, acting like his sickness is the end of the world.
"Ah, my head...ohhhh my head. Hurts so bad. Maybe if ya kiss it...I'll feel better." He says, his voice weak as he closes his eyes, shifting in bed like some sort of damsel in distress.
• He'd be real obedient as you give him medicine and stuff, and stare up at you with bright eyes, as if the little fucker wasn't acting so brave about it before. The moment anyone walks in or sees him being doted, he'll push you away (maybe even physically, in panic) cause he's scared to ruin his reputation.
But when they're gone, he'll apologize and cling to you like a parasite. Muttering and mumbling incoherent things for your attention. He's an ass, but he loves you.
• He'd always tell you how much he appreciates you as you stay by his side, his very dizzy and sick brain making him slur his words, that cheeky grin still plastered on his face.
"You care about me...haha."
"You're so sweet, you love me, don't you?"
You know how some people get super weird and sorta high when they're super sick? Yeah that's scout with you.
♡Soldier♡
• Like Scout, absolutely DENIES that he's sick.
"SICKNESS AND DISEASE IS MERELY A HOAX! AN EXCUSE CREATED BY COMMUNISTS TO SPREAD THEIR LIES ABOUT AMERICAN- ACHOO-"
• Entire day there's a gigantic frown on his face, he cannot stop sneezing. He sneezed on Scout, and Scout was convinced that he was gonna die.
Engineer is the first to speak up after seeing the soldier violently sneeze without closing his nose. But, his stubbornness gets in the way and he merely brushes him off. Then, half the team begs you to talk to him. So you do.
"Hey Soldier, uh, you...you're looking a little pale."
"PALE? WELL, I GUESS MY SKIN HAS BEEN LOOKING GOOD TODAY!"
You chuckled, "No, pale in a bad way. And I notice you've been sneezing a bunch, are you feeling okay? Did you catch a cold?"
He frowns, and yet again, denies any accusation that he's sick. It doesn't take long, though, when you convince him to stay in his room (or yours, which he'd prefer) so you could "surprise" him. He takes that as an invitation for something else and was a little disappointed when he realized it was a trick to get him to rest.
"Wait...THIS IS A TRAP! YOU'VE TRAPPED ME! HELP-"
He starts to yell as you take his helmet off. You simply laugh, placing it nearby. "Yeah. I trapped you, and now, I order you to stay in bed while I go get some medicine. Am I clear?"
He scoffs at your command. "And what if I DON'T stay?" He remarked, you frowned. "Then you'll be disappointing all the...Americans that spent so much time curating and- crafting the very medication that keeps us healthy."
You made that shit up on the spot, but you knew whenever you spoke to him like a commander did, he'd always listen. He thought about it for a moment and grumbled in reply;
"Fine."
• He does as you ask, staying completely still in bed, staring up at the ceiling with a frown, occasionally muttering things to himself as if this very action is the worst thing in the world. When you come back, tray in hand with medicine and a glass of water, his expression softens slightly.
You sit down on the bed, he sits up, and as you hand him the medicine, something warm grows in his chest. He stays silent as he takes the medicine reluctantly, before he stares at you with an unreadable expression.
You smile ask what's wrong but he shakes his head. A big grin appears on his face as he realizes something and he chuckles, but he doesn't tell you what he's thinking about.
"Thanks, cupcake."
• You take care of him, keeping a watch on him for a while as you beg him to get some rest for his cold. He agrees but only if you stay with him, and you do. He holds you tightly as he braves through his cold, head nuzzled in your shoulder as your treated like a Teddy bear.
He felt happy. Someone cared for him, and he didn't know why, but that realization made his heart feel full. Not the type of full he'd usually feel after a hard victory, or the type of full he'd feel after messing around with demoman all day, but a type of full he could feel only with you. He really cared for you, and he was honored you cared for him just as much.
♡Pyro♡
• You could honestly never tell pyro was sick. Sometimes they'd spend days with you as normal, very much sick, but they'd never show it. That's also because they had a strong immune system, and only got sick every couple of years or so.
The one time they've ever gotten sick around you, was during the hottest day in Teufort. Everyone was sweating their asses off, so you could imagine how bad it was for them. Having to be around fire, wearing a heavy, thick, fire retardant suit all day? Oh, it was bad.
They sat at the locker room for longer after battle had ended, seemingly staring off into the distance. Everyone else had left, so did you. But when they didn't come out for an hour or so you checked in on them, visibly worried.
"Pi? You okay?"
You saw them, still sitting in the same bench, looking off into the ground. You walked over to them, placing a hand on their shoulder. They jolted, as if awoken from a deep sleep. They turned their head, their breathing was loud in the quiet room, but it was heavy and ragged. You frowned in worry.
"What's wrong?"
• They muffled something even you couldn't understand, their voice was quiet, before they shook their head and got up. They almost stumbled, but you kept their balance. They leaned their head on your shoulder, and you could feel the heavy breaths they exhaled through their mask. You turned to them, placing a hand on their shoulder.
"It's a hot day, huh? Can't be feeling too good especially in that suit of yours."
They mumbled in reply, and you took that as a sign that they must've been real affected by the heat today. "Lets get you to your room, I'll get you a nice cold glass of water, okay?"
• You headed back to their room, allowing them to sit for a bit as you went and got some ice cold water. You sat by, the door locked as they lifted off their mask to take a sip. You could feel the heat they radiated, even from a short distance.
"Pi, I think you might have a fever."
They chugged down the water, before turning to you, lifting their mask back down. They went quiet for a moment before they nodded. You frowned, "Why didn't you say anything?" They shrugged, shaking their head. "Mmh mmhf mmh mmh mmhf mmhf mm mmhf." (I didn't think I was sick at first.)
You sighed, before humming. "I'll go get some medicine, you should probably lie down- maybe take the suit off first. I won't look if it'll make you uncomfortable." You stared at them, waiting for their response. They paused hesitantly, before nodding.
• When you got back, they were in bed, gas mask still on, but now in their tank top and unicorn themed shorts. They didn't show their body often, as they felt insecure of the scars they had. When they saw you, they pulled the blanket up to their chest, which you didn't comment on.
You walked over with a large bottle of water and some medicine, placing it on a nearby table.
"Medic said you just need some rest and a lot of water, so...don't forget to drink."
You didn't quite know what to do with the pyro. They were quiet, which, to you wasn't that unusual. But you could feel the nervousness, and you felt worried, as they didn't seem too good. They murmured a "thank you," staring up at you as you sit by them.
"Do you want me to leave?"
In truth, you didn't want to, and they didn't want you to either. But you didn't want to make them uncomfortable, as the only other times they've showed their body to you were in intimate situations. You didn't want to overwhelm them, but you wanted to take care of them. They shook their head, before mumbling;
"Mm mmhn mmhf mm mmhh mmhf mm mmhn mmhnf mmh." (You don't have to stay if you don't want to.)
"I'll stay for a bit. You need your rest and.. I wanna make sure you're okay."
That sentence could make them melt if the heat wasn't already doing that to them. They let out a hoarse giggle. You always made them swoon, even if the things you said weren't overly romantic. It always meant a lot to them, as they never really had someone who cared.
That noise always made you smile, as you stared down at them. It was silent for a while as you two looked at each other. Even under the mask you could tell they had a smile. You've only ever seen that smile once, and the thought of it makes your heart race. You soon broke the silence, slowly getting up.
"Drink your meds and get some sleep, okay?
• As you left, they couldn't help but smile. They got up to lock the door, before taking off their mask and flopping into bed. Not forgetting to do as you said, they fall fast asleep with you on their mind.
Even in their dreams your their, and even with this small, common gesture of caring for them, they cant help but feel a bit weak in the knees when they think of you. They thought the engineer was sweet, but you? They should call you sugar.
It was the first time they had someone worry so much, the way you frowned at them made their chest tighten, and weirdly, in a reaffirming way. In a way that made them realize they weren't so bad, and they were capable of being cared for.
Maybe they were getting too into it, but they didn't care.
♡♡♡♡
I did not expect pyros to be long. Like I was writing and suddenly as I was looking back I realized how much I was yapping. Shit. Anyway, defense and support classes will be written by tomorrow, probably the one or both. Yay!
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otaku-dragon-lover · 2 months ago
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I shouldn't be posting on this so much but fuck it.
I've seen some post asking why tf it's another "people from our world enter the game" plot, and while I completely understand this sentiment, I've got a bigger bone to pick with this atrocity.
Why isn't it an animated movie?!
The only reason I can think of for why WB isn't making this an animated movie is simple: the FNAF movie's success.
Now, I'm not blaming the FNAF movie for anything here. It seems like (I haven't seen the damn thing but I have seen the fandom's reaction to it) a genuine love letter to the games and the community that helped build it up, the Matpat cameo is a prime example of that. It's also probably the best thing to come from the series as of late, buuuut that's just my opinion.
Anyway, the FNAF movie used mostly practical effects to depict it's antagonists (something I will forever love them for), with the film itself being live action. But! This makes sense to do because FNAF is (or at least was until it jumped the shark) supposed to be set in the real world, just with haunted animatronics. This isn't the case with Minecraft, it's a world with magic. Skeletons, zombies, giant spiders, walking penis monsters that explode, fucking dragons! At no point would anyone look at this world and think, "yeah, making this a live action movie makes sense". At least, no one with half a brain anyway.
The art style of the two games helps with this too; one has a very realistic style to their characters, while the other is very cartoon-y.
So, what am I getting at here? Why am I even bringing this up at all?
To be honest, I'm just tired of these massive companies clout chasing, because that's what this is. Creative ideas are dying in the writing room for this… utterly boring and overused trite.
This is coming from someone who loves the isekai genre btw.
Animation is getting more and more overlooked by the day, and this is what gets greenlit? Fucking hell.
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anpanham · 10 months ago
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Hazbin Hotel character thoughts / impressions (Episodes 1 & 2)
1/12/24
UM. what a weird first actual post for my blog for this year... this is long, and i miss making ACTUAL blog posts instead of small threads... And i've explained on my twitter my thoughts on Hazbin / Helluva from a critical standpoint and artist from art separation, yadda yadda yadda---
ANYWAY... Episodes 1 and 2 of Hazbin are (Officially) out now, and i have some thoughts on the characters i wrote down after watching (In bullet points, because most of these are fresh-from-the-brain thoughts i wrote on my tablet from my bed)
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(Spoiler alert, Sir Pentious isn't ruined and I AM SO GLAD. my snake babygirl... ilu)
Read on, if you wanna, spoiler warning btw!!!!!
CHARLIE NOTES
-Charlie is good., Charlie is cute, but i fear for her safety, not everyone can new redeemed. she's like steven universe at points i stg 😭 (not a jab but i think it's funny)
-i like how they gave Charlie bags under her eyes a lot, she is a tired princess just like all of us
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-She gives off elementary school teacher vibes but in a wholesome way
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-Charlie's hair is SO CUTE MESSY..
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-PERFECT voice /gen
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- VAGGIE NOTES
-GIRLBOSS (still, but more)
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-Vaggie is still cool, she just loves her gf and is sick of everyone's bs but is still supportive...
-If she doesn't get into a bloody death match with Alastor (and win) i will be disappointed /hj
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She doesn't seem to have as much of a temper as she did in the pilot, but seems more dead inside
-Good voice!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ANGEL DUST NOTES
-Angel... hm. Angel. he's Angel, for sure. Hi, Angel!
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Insecure about a lot, but also YOU CAN BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT!!!!! if vox doesn't kill val angel should. please and thank u.
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Also his voice is alright, just need to get used to it a little more
Also i hope he's not too bratty jealous of sirpent / whoever else charlie praises because again, it's ON HIM TO COOPERATE WITH HER CAUSE MORE??? ignoring his other stress sources (Val)
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-Waiting for him and Husk to kiss. I know it's coming
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-Just fucking block Val's number and rip up the contract (YES i know it goes deeper than that...)
-NUGGS. I SCREECHED IRL /POS
THEY GAVE HIM A HEART ON HIS BUTT!!!!! S TIER REDESIGN
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ALASTOR NOTES
-At first i was kinda Eh about his voice but it's grown on me, the radio filter is a little more subtle than the pilot but it's still there which i'm glad for
Delightfully passive aggressive
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-Weird magic still, there doesn't seem to be any limits to it... we need to know what his weakness is...!!!!! please (maybe that will come later??) ....... i theorize he has underworld contact (Shadow-world, because of the shadow imagery?) , the underworld might be different from Hell maybe? (Where do those fucking tentacles come from, also weird monochrome demons)
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-Interesting he was gone for 7 years. 7 is an angelic number. HMMMMMM (sealed away by angels somehow??)
-Punchable (Vaggie please)
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-Weirdly enjoyable and not genuinely hateable like some of the other characters, but i also want to see his demise, maybe his sadism is rubbing off on me, but i want to see it badly...
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SIR PENTIOUS NOTES
-Sir Pentious... u are so good.. probably has some of the best writing so far, maybe... he's my favorite so. hhHHmm
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his voice is different but at the same time it's what you'd expect, i like it a lot... so silly, i pat him and his silly hat
-Pathetic old man. You win my heart (50x as much)
-Only one egg spoke so far, i wonder if they'll all have unique voices this time (the Japanese dub of the pilot did that lol)
-Genuinely a joy every moment he was onscreen (Too fucking cute... GRRRR)
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-How did he get into contact with Vox? Why would Vox want anything to do with him if he thinks he's a loser? (I guess easy access into the Hotel) ...Fuck em either way (DON'T BE MEAN TO SNAKE MAN)
-Cool temporary stunning hypnosis, maybe we'll see him coil and bite next, the snake attack traits are fun
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-His autism vibes grow stronger and it's canon in my heart
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-We LOVE a redemption song. please stay in the hotel with everyone, don't fuck it up!!! you're a good noodle.... 😭 The song was genuinely so cute... it's probably going to be the highlight of EVERYTHING for me, besides Nuggs..
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HUSK NOTES
-i luv u kitty
-His voice is different but captures "Grumpy old alcoholic" perfectly
-His heart needs to be melted...
-Him holding the script in front of the camera was great
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NIFFTY NOTES
-Niffty is a BIG COWARD. you can still love a "Bad boy" who's a redeemed bad boy!!!! just because he's not morally bad doesn't Not make him a Bad Boy. fuck u (i still like you)
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-Her voice is really cute, also her nightgown.. though finding out she doesn't have dark bug limbs but is just wearing gloves and stockings surprised me more than it should've... put them back
-Also autism vibes, love it
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-She still frightens me a bit
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V TRIO NOTES
VOX -----
-Seems to carry the team, voice has grown on me
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-I can't stop looking at his weird finger claws, they almost look like
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he's just wearing things over his fingers, i dig it
-Interesting hypnosis power, i assume Alastor is immune
-Why can't Alastor and Vox just compromise and create a podcast?
-Hates Val (sorry shippers) ,,... kind of expected it since in old official sources it's been shown that he's been abused by Val too
-This isn't a note but everytime Alastor said "THE TV IS BUFFERING~" in their duet, the player kept fucking up 😭
-Decent song, I like seeing him and Al argue
-I surprisingly don't hate him! i'm glad. i wanted to like him (though, it's only been 2 episodes so far...)
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VALENTINO ---------
-More manchild vibes than i expected tbh
-Voice is alright but his accent is weirdly inconsistent for some reason???? interesting direction
-His manipulation is shown well in the voicemail scene with Angel, he's literally got the "Nice Guy" energy
-Surprisingly didn't order Vox around as much as i thought he would
-Why does he have girl Fizzy bots...
-Die?
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VELVETTE
-Fashion design isn't something i expected, but then again i didn't know that much about her prior other than she's obsessed with social media
-British is also not what i expected but cool
-Uh. she didn't really stick out to me that much...sorry..... she's fine tho
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ADAM & LUTE NOTES
-Personally do not like how these angels look so menacing, i get that they're technically bad, but... make them look more angelic besides halos and wings??? they could easily be mistaken for hell residents. Also again, i feel like angels should swear less and drop swears in critical / good timed moments, it would be funnier... subtlety is not a thing i guess
-Adam's guitar solo was good tho, not really feeling his character tho, he's just an asshole but that's the point
-Adam looks like the fucking dress meme. I can't unsee it
-Lute is pretty...
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KATIE KILLJOY & TOM TRENCH NOTES
-Brandon Rodgers
-They sure were there for a second!
-i luv tom
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All in all...
Episode 1: 6-7/10
Episode 2: 8.5/10
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zoobiefish · 1 month ago
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So, I nearly missed out on Auctober again, whoops! I am now 9 days behind, woohoo 😂😅 I’m an Autistic university student, so I may not always have the spoons to commit to this daily challenge, or at the very least I may not be able to draw something for each prompt…I may have to just write a little blurb about what that day’s prompt means to me lol But ideally I would like to contribute as many pieces of art to this challenge as I can! For now though, to catch up on all I’ve missed, I’m going to make individual short blurbs for the prompts I’ve missed thus far:
Day 1: Autism Plus
For myself, in addition to being Autistic, I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, EDNOS, and generalized anxiety. I also suspect I may have hEDS (hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome). Fun stuff!
Day 2: Infinite
The most popular symbol for Autism Spectrum Disorder to my knowledge is a golden infinity ♾ symbol (sometimes I see a rainbow-coloured one in use as well, though my understanding is that the rainbow infinity symbol is used for neurodiversity as a whole). For a long time, the infamous puzzle piece 🧩 symbol was used to represent ASD—but most Autistics HATE this symbol!! I recognize that I don’t speak for all Autistic people, but this is the common opinion on the puzzle piece symbol and the one I share as well: The puzzle piece symbol is problematic because it suggests that Autistic people are inherently “missing a piece” or that we are “a puzzle to be solved.” Plus, this symbol is used by the evil corporation Autism Speaks. I would prefer not to go on a rant right now about why they’re evil; if anyone is curious, I would recommend doing research on why Autistic people HATE Autism Speaks. But the short version is that they support eugenicist policies around Autism and seek to eradicate us from existence. They treat us as non-humans under the guise of doing “charity work”—they are absolutely NOT a charity. Do NOT support Autism Speaks under any circumstances—any supporter of Autism Speaks (or as most of us spell it, “Autism $peaks”), is NO friend of mine!
Day 3: AuDHD
This is a fun little term I’ve seen in the Autism and ADHD communities! It’s a portmanteau of “Autism” and “ADHD” in case it wasn’t obvious heh! I myself do have AuDHD; it’s a very common comorbidity! It’s certainly…an interesting experience because the two often conflict with each other, as if I have 2 wolves fighting within my brain 🤪
Day 4: Music
Music is one of my favourite coping mechanisms. If I’m understimulated or need inspiration (especially for art or writing), I’ll put on some fun, energetic music to get the juices flowing and will dance and/or pace around the room to get the energy out of my system! If I’m overstimulated, relaxing videogame soundtracks are often my go-to—especially music from The Legend of Zelda, Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing etc. Another aspect of my being on the spectrum is that my thoughts are very vivid and visual. Often times when I hear music, I can’t help but see colours, shapes, images, and even stories with characters and whatnot going along to the music. It gives me great ideas for animatics and artwork! I love this fun little bonus feature in my brain haha 😛
Day 5: Verbose
This one is rather interesting for me. I find when I feel safe around a person or I have just TOO much energy to control myself, I WILL talk—and talk—and talk—etc. I feel so bad for those who fall victim to my “infodump sessions”—but just know that if I do that to you, it’s my way of showing affection. If I talk and never seem to shut up around you…I probably really like you (platonically) 😁 Other times however, I am dead silent. This is usually around people I’m uncertain of, don’t know well enough, or I may just be burntout/too tired to talk 😅
Day 6: Individuals
As the saying goes: If you’ve met ONE (1) Autistic person, then you’ve met ONE (1) Autistic person! We are NOT a hivemind, people!! Just because I’m not like your “friend’s cousin’s aunt’s 3-year-old stepson” doesn’t mean I’m “not Autistic.” The stereotype with Autism is a white cishet dude—but we are just as diverse a population as any other demographic. We all have our differences and similarities, but we are unified in our shared diagnosis—and that’s it!
Day 7: Neuroscope
Ah yes, the “superpower” Autistic people seem to have in which we can all “sense each other” 😂😂😂 I find this to be scarily accurate actually—the majority of the people I’ve become friends with at uni turned out to be Autistic, and long before they mentioned they were on the spectrum I was able to tell. The funniest part though is that they all the said same thing about me! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Day 8: Non-Speaking
So of course Autism is a spectrum, and among the ways in which Autistic people can differ from one another is whether we possess the ability to verbally speak or not. I do not want to talk in length about what being “non-speaking” means as I am not non-speaking myself and don’t wish to talk over those who are. What I do know though is that some of us are unable to verbally speak and may use alternative methods to communicate (whether through the use of sign language, AAC devices, or other means), which are equally valid methods of communication that deserve to be respected. Once again, I must iterate that I am fully capable of verbal speech and I am in no way non-speaking myself. That being said, sometimes I do have a reduced capacity to speak or feel it takes far more physical effort to speak when I am tired, stressed, overwhelmed, in sensory overload, or in the midst of a shutdown. This does NOT mean I am non-speaking—that label is exclusively for Autistic individuals who cannot verbally speak at all. I’m not sure what the proper terminology is for my specific situation (if anyone knows of it, I’d appreciate if you let me know in the comments!) but because of these situations, I am currently trying to learn ASL so I can still communicate in some way during these episodes.
And that’s it for now! I am hoping to have a drawing done by the end of today for Day 9, but we shall see! In the meantime, check out @autiebiographical on Tumblr! They are the one who started Auctober in the first place to my knowledge and they create amazing comics and other content that educates people on Autism Spectrum Disorder! Happy Auctober y’all!
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lost-in-fandoms · 5 months ago
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just read ur maxiel wing tumblr fic… obsessed… daniel being so sweet and gentle omg
aaah thank you so much! I love this little universe that lives in my head so much :( sadly my brain refuses to commit lately so I have just been writing ficlets of whatever idea sticks around for more than 5 minutes instead of full fics akjnskjnsa but I am glad you enjoyed it!
I have some more for you under the cut <3 (part 1)
cw for mental and physical health issues related to 2022 Daniel, hurt/comfort
Max doesn't really remember when's the last time he had a full conversation with Daniel.
No, that's a lie, he remembers, he just doesn't like to think about it. It was at the start of the season, during media day: they had talked about their break and Daniel had said how he had high hopes for this year.
It's not that they haven't talked since, it's just been...different, like they don't know each other anymore. And maybe they don't, Max supposes, watching Daniel stare in the distance, headphones firmly in place, a ghost of his usual smile stretching his too thin cheeks.
So many things have changed, and he hates it, but the reality is that he doesn't really know how to act around this Daniel anymore.
The race is good, standing on the top step never gets old, but afterwards he can't stop thinking about Daniel, finishing once again out of the points, once again behind Lando. Can't stop thinking about the dullness of his usually shiny wings, hanging limply behind him.
He texts Lando. He knows Daniel might just turn him away, but Max is not going to stand around any longer. He's not forgotten everything Daniel did for him, when he was just an awkward teenager learning how to be himself.
He needs to knock twice on Daniel's door before he finally hears some noises from inside, but he waits patiently, doesn't really have anywhere else to do, having already turned down the offer to go out for drinks with the team.
"Michael, I already told you I..." Daniel opens the door while already speaking, but he interrupts himself when he realizes it's Max who is standing there.
"Hello, Daniel" Max says, trying to keep his voice level. Daniel looks...rough. He looks worse than he did earlier, pale and drawn, hair a frizzy mess on his head, clothes hanging awkwardly from his thin frame. Even from just the glimpse he can get through the barely open door Max can see how ruffled his wings are.
"Max?" Daniel blinks, as if Max is going to disappear if he does it enough. Max doesn't know if that's surprise or wishful thinking.
"Can I come in?" he asks, taking a step forward so hopefully Daniel won't shut the door in his face.
"I..." Daniel is still blinking, confusion and exhaustion clear on his face. "Listen, mate, I don't know why you're here, but I am tired, can it wait?"
"Have you eaten?"
Daniel stiffens at the question, but Max doesn't take it back, looking straight at him until Daniel relents.
"I have. Why are you here, Max?" Daniel is still not moving away from the door, leaning slightly against it, shoulders drawn up tight in a way that looks almost painful. It probably is.
"I am here to eat cake with you and help you with your wings" Max says, raising his hand with the small bag carrying two slices of cake he asked at the front desk of his own hotel. "We don't have to talk."
For a moment, they just look at each other. Max used to be able to read Daniel once, but now he can just wait.
"I can't have cake," Daniel scrubs a hand down his face, the three on his finger looking duller than usual. "And I don't need help with my wings."
Max rolls his eyes, finally having had enough, gently pushing Daniel aside to step into the room. He doesn't like how bony Daniel's shoulder feel, or how easily he relents, but he'll take the success of being able to get in instead of having to stand in the hallway.
"You will eat cake, because I said so, and I will clean your wings, because you're not doing it correctly," he states. The room they have Daniel in doesn't have a couch, this would have been better in Max's own room, but it does have a low armchair that will have to do. He places the bag on the small desk, taking out the plastic forks and the cake container, before handing it to Daniel.
Daniel, who is still standing next to the door, looking lost and confused, doesn't take it. Max puts them down on the desk again.
"I can't eat it, Max," he says, and this time he sounds more pained, as if he's not really only talking about the cake anymore and Max has to choke down the distressed warble that is making its way up his throat, knowing it would only upset Daniel further.
Okay, change of plan then.
He takes a step forward, slowly raising his hands to tug Daniel into a hug. This time, Daniel goes easily, slumping against him, shivering a little. It's been so long since they hugged properly, but Max knows it's not supposed to feel like this. Daniel used to grip the back of his neck, tug him closer, but now he's just standing there, arms not even coming up to wrap around him.
He doesn't let go until it's Daniel the one to take a step back, and even then he keeps a hand on him, firmly guiding him towards the armchair, grabbing a pillow and putting it on the floor.
"Sit," he says gently. Daniel sits, seemingly too tired to argue any longer.
"I am going to preen your wings, and you are going to relax, and if you still do not want to eat cake after, then we won't. Okay?"
Daniel nods, not even looking at him. He looks small, sitting on the floor, wings heavy on his back, hands limp in his lap. Max wishes he knew how to fix it, wishes he could wrap his wings around him and shield him from everything else, wishes he could keep him safe from himself, but he can at least do something to take care of him.
He brought his own cloths to clean Daniel's wings and he's glad of that now, not wanting to waste time looking for them in Daniel's bags, not when he doesn't know how long Daniel will let him stay for.
The state of Daniel's wings is worse than what he had thought. There are feathers out of place everywhere, grit and dust stuck to them, and his muscles are all tense and full of knots. But the worst parts are the small patches of reddened skin, where feathers have been plucked out, leaving bald spots dotted with congealed blood behind. The inside of his left wing is particularly a mess, and despite Max trying his best to not make it worse, Daniel still whimpers from where he's leaning against Max's leg.
"I'm sorry," Max whispers, over and over, until he's not even sure what he's apologizing for, the pain and discomfort or everything else, until the words turn into soft coos and warbles.
It takes time. He does end up having to ask Daniel about his own cloths, because the two he brought are too dusty to be useful anymore, but by the end of it Daniel is breathing slow and deep, finally fully relaxed against him, looking more at peace than Max has seen him in a long time.
Max doesn't ask about the cake again, knows this is a battle for another day, just helps Daniel up and into bed.
"Thank you," Daniel whispers, barely making any sound. There are dried tear tracks on his cheeks, but neither of them mention it.
"Always, Daniel."
Max leaves when Daniel falls asleep, leaving the cake in the mini fridge, even if he knows it will probably stay there.
The next day, when Daniel goes to check out, the woman at the desk hands him a package that had arrived for him in the morning. He's confused, he doesn't remember ordering anything, until he opens it and find a tube of a soothing cream for his irritated skin.
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