#I pretty much need to focus entirely on sims because if i think too much I'll just remember the shit my mom said

[carnage-cathedral]

I'm not doing great chat

[kimmiessimmies]

Changes

A brand new town (sort of) feels like a new beginning, so I decided to make some changes.

This is a looooooong (text)post, but here's the short version:

TL/DR: I'm going give my story a title (below you can vote for what you think the better title is) and I'm going to start posting my updates to Tumblr in full. Want to know more? ⬇️

1. A story needs a title

Those of you who've been following me for years know that I've undergone some style changes. KimmiesSimmies, both on WordPress and on Tumblr, started out as a gameplay blog. I visited my Sims, played for a  bit, took pictures, added a few lines, and that was my (non-)story. Pretty soon, a shift started to occur. Even though gameplay remained my main focus, there was usually a theme, a story-like idea which played out. While my Sims led lives that ran as a thread through the tales I created, these could also easily be read as standalone stories about a prom, an athletic festival or a summer camp (I do miss Windiwell 😢). This shifted further when I wanted to write out more significant ideas, such as the story of a runaway girl (Go, Martha, go!) and what would happen to her. I couldn't possibly fit all that in one story update, so it became more extensive. Characters evolved, and my mind started working overtime, constantly coming up with new ideas. After a five-year pause (life got in the way) during which my mind never stopped coming up with new ideas, I decided to write my stories down and then go in game to take the pictures to support my story. And with that I had gone from "gameplay-based" to "story-based". Now, the stuff I write aren't standalone stories anymore; it's all part of one big story about the Sims of Honeycomb Valley (and The Hills), where everything is connected somehow and always ongoing. And a story needs a title. Which is why I decided "KimmiesSimmies" is just not fitting anymore. This will remain my username (because that's my public identity) and the address to my WordPress blog, but the story in itself will get an official title. After a loooooot of thinking, discussing and web searching, I've narrowed it down to two possible titles, and I would like you to give your opinion (yes, you, one of the six people who are actually reading this entire essay).

The options are "A Taste of Honey" and "Life with a Drop of Honey". The honey bit is important because I will never stray from my bee/honey theme. That's everywhere, so it should be in the title as well. "A Taste of Honey" is, in my personal opinion, more catchy. However, it's not unique. It's the title of a Beatles song and a movie from 1961. Now, I haven't seen this movie, but I looked it up, and the genre description was "drama, LGBT", which did make me chuckle, but with the current state of my story, those keywords are pretty fitting. "Life with a Drop of Honey" is unique but makes less of a statement and isn't as memorable, I think. So, please let me know which you prefer! I'm not promising this will be a democratic choice; I might go against the grain and pick the one with the least votes because it feels better, but I'd still like to know what you think.

2. Bringing the story to Tumblr

(Are you still here, reading this? Wow, I'm impressed! 😄)

Until now, I've posted my story on my WordPress blog only and made a post containing some pictures and a link to my WordPress blog here. Now, some people actually click through to my WordPress blog to read the full story (and if you're still here reading this much-too-long post, you're probably one of those people, so thank you for that ❤️), but many click like and move on, which is fine. However, someone I've come to consider as quite my closest friend (and therefore wouldn't lie to me) and who's a very excellent storyteller herself (and therefore knows what she's talking about) recently convinced me my story deserves to be read. So, after going back and forth on this, I've decided to start posting my story updates (since it's all part of one story, I will refer to them as either updates or chapters instead of stories) on Tumblr as well as on my WordPress blog. I haven't quite figured out the details yet, but I think I'll post a link to the full post for all those who want to read the whole update in one go (like I did up until now) and post the story in parts over the following days for those who'd rather read on Tumblr. My WordPress blog will remain "home base" where story updates, sim bios, and town tours live together.

So, that's it! Changes! Couldn't I tell that using fewer words? Probably. But I've never been one to keep things brief...

[thessalian]

Thess vs Next Fest 2023, Pt 7

Okay, so I said there weren’t going to be any more demos. I lied. Or rather, I was misinformed. Or misguided. Or something. ANYWAY MORE GAMES.

Capes: This one’s kind of neat. Turn-based superhero sort of deal. It has a Shadowrun Returns kind of vibe, both in the combat and in the overall plot set-up, but there’s also an element of The Incredibles in there: a few holdout superheroes savying the city from Evil Corporation of Evil, or something. Obviously you don’t get that much sense of what’s going on from just a demo, and it feels like you’d get a better feel for the controls and combat through playing a proper campaign (and being able to grind Patrols) but it’s one I can see myself enjoying. It thus goes on the list and stays on the list.

Cook Serve Forever: So I’m in general a pretty big fan of the Cook, Serve, Delicious franchise in general. I’m not sure if that’s weird or not - I type for a living and I love typing games, though you’d think I’d get sick of them. Cook Serve Forever’s a little different than the other ones, since its focus is entirely on the arrow keys and not on the letter keys at all. Takes some getting used to, honestly, since it eschews all the letters for “Hold this one down, type any arrow key but this one, we’re not telling you how many times you need to hit this one so keep tapping but carefully so you don’t do too many”. Still, it might be a good thing in the end, as it doesn’t necessarily involve undue amounts of finger bending when it asks you to hit Z and B in quick succession. Another one for the list, I think.

The Star Named Eos: This one’s a cute little hidden object puzzle game of sorts. It’s kind of Zen, but also kind of not because some of the clues can be a little oblique and the demo, at least, lacks a Hint function. Still, looks fun, and probably one of those kind of touching ones, so hey.

Outlanders: Another civilisation building sim. This one isn’t bad overall, could probably use a little more clarity of purpose but that might just be because we’re dealing with a demo. I mean, it’s not like I don’t have enough civ building sims to last me a lifetime, but sometimes you just feel like playing a ... different civ building sim? Maybe? I dunno; it goes on the list anyway. It was cute and I liked it.

Room of Depression: Um. Okay, it’s impossible to say that I liked this game and be completely 100% honest about it, because it was painful. But ... it was the good kind of painful, I guess? I mean, flashbacky as fuck, but I felt understood, I guess? I still have bad depression days - I think that’s something that just never goes away - so all of this was familiar. Turning depression into a tangible experience is difficult. Somehow, this game is managing it. I’m not sure if the demo’s the full game or not; I didn’t get to the end because I have things to do in a bit. So I’m going to keep poking at it later. It’s not ‘fun’. It’s deep, and it’s powerful, and it’s cathartic in ways I didn’t think a game could be. It also gives the best trigger warning in the world, flagging up that this is probably going to hurt and please take breaks if it’s triggering you. Heed that warning, but put this one on your wish list. Provided you take care while playing it, this is one that deserves to be played.

And on that note, thankfully I have something cheerful to do in just under an hour - sushi dinner with my mother. My stepfather came by with parts of my birthday gift from the parentals - new sheets and a new roasting tin, plus some baking sheets that I had wanted to put on my list but entirely forgot. Then I got an email from my mother that was more gifting - Amazon gift voucher! It’s so much fun to just be able to guilt-free spend money. So I got two of the newer Seanan McGuire books (the sequel to Middlegame and the next Wayward Children book - another one that’s a kick to the solar plexus, but hey), and two novellas (Chris Wooding and Gail Carrigan respectively). So I’m going to check when the best bus is to take for the sushi place to get there on time, and I’ll have new stuff to read on the ride. I did so need new books. Not that there wasn’t joy to be had in reading Tamsyn Muir over and over again, or that Six Deaths of the Saint short story (all of those recommendations by @hyperewok1 as an aside - thanks, Noms), but ... Seanan McGuire gives me life. That is all.

And now, sushi. Later! (Oh, yeah, I turned 46 years old today.)

[moveslikeanape]

haha, i do love cats! i have two of my own, with matching names: daisy and lily.

not sure how much you already know about twisted wonderland, but i'd like to try and explain it a bit, attempting to be as brief as i can: it's a mobile game with gacha mechanics and an anime art style, but if you've ever heard claims of it being a disney villain dating sim, that's not actually true! the characters are simply inspired by disney villains in terms of design and backstory and/or personality (riddle rosehearts is based on the queen of hearts!), while the villains themselves are legendary figures who once existed in-universe. the main focus of the story is on the player character, a normal person who's been transported into a magical world, learning about each of the boys and helping them with their interpersonal problems, but there's no romance. it might not be for everyone, but i'm a big fan of the ways that it uses the original disney movies to tell its story and the unique spin it puts on things. and it actually has an entire event based on HoND! you should let me know if you do check it out.

right?! i've been a huge disney fan since i was a little kid and i don't see that ever changing, i love disney movies and animation in general far too much. but it's crazy how much things have changed. starting with princess and the frog i have a streak of seeing every new WDAS film in theaters (the only exception being raya and the last dragon because of covid, but i did watch it at home as soon as possible). but after i saw wish i regretted going to the theater and wished i'd saved money to see something else. every film they currently have announced is a sequel, and pixar has several upcoming sequels as well. not that sequels are always bad, of course, but when they're so focused on sequels over original ideas it makes me fear that disney/pixar is just making them for money and not because they truly think they have a great story to tell. i'll probably wait for reviews to decide if i wanna see any of them.

if you'd like to check out the blog i mentioned, it's "feelinganimatedblog" on wordpress. they have a lot of reviews of animation-related books as well as highly detailed reviews of disney movies. i haven't fully read their tarzan review, because it's very long, but the part i did read had some interesting info about the production of the movie!

it's funny that you say that about germany loving tarzan, because i have an online friend who's from germany. he's never been super into disney or seen many of their movies, but lately he's been watching some of them and he told me tarzan was his favorite so far! i wonder what it is that makes it so popular there.

ooh, it's cool that they expanded on kerchak's character like that! i love when disney uses their stage musicals to flesh things out that wouldn't have fit into the limited runtime of an animated movie.

oh yeah, i forgot that they removed tantor. in that case i suppose it makes sense, but i do like how in the original movie tarzan has a female best friend in terk, and she's not involved in any sort of weird love triangle with jane. it's another thing that i think makes her pretty unique as a character. whenever i do listen to the cast album i'll definitely let you know!

awww, that's awesome! Kitties are the best, and I love that they have matching names! I have 2, Taz (going to be 18 soon!) and Oliver. And my dad has 2, Oero and Beckett)

Oh wow, twisted wonderland sounds really interesting! That's such a neat idea, will definitely have to check it out.

Sequels are fine if they are few and far between, or if they really have something interesting to add to the original story. But the rate they're coming out at is insane. It's easy and cheaper for them, because the characters are already designed and have a fan base, they just need to find a new situation to drop them in. The fact that there's going to be a 5th Toy Story movie?!!! Between the constant sequels and the never ending remakes it's getting so boring. I used to get so excited for new Disney movies, but now… I got far more excited about the 4K edition of Snow White (a movie I've seen so many times I know it backwards and in a format I can't even watch!) than any of the new movies that have been released since Moana.

I used to pride myself on knowing the all Disney Feature films in order of release (I grew up in the 90s, and I actually remember important events in my life by what Disney movie was released that year… like, my I know my mom got remarried in '98 because that's the year Mulan was released), and at the drop of a hat could tell you who animated which characters. I actually had to look up which movie came out before Wish, because I just don't remember any of the recent ones.

That's so sad you regretting seeing Wish in the theatre. Disney's fallen really far when that's the case. I'm almost glad I live in a small town and our theatre never even got it. Everything I've heard/seen about it so far makes it easier to just wait until it's on Disney+

I had a quick look at the blog, and I'm definitely going to have to find time to read through it! I love that in the beginnings of the movie reviews there's a section about what was going on in history the year the movies came out.

lol, you'll have to ask your friend if he has any ideas as to why Germans love Tarzan.

I think the little expansions the broadway shows have with story and characters is one of the reasons they're so popular. It's already exhilarating seeing the shows live, but it's even better when you get to learn new things about the characters you already know so well.

I've always thought the avoidance of a love triangle (or even just the suggestion of any inter-species relationships) was a key factor in making Terk male. Seems like in most media if you have a male character and a female character hanging out together all the time they have to fall in love at some point. It worked in the movie because with Tantor you had a group of friends, but maybe they thought if they had Tarzan hanging out with only a female Terk, people might get the wrong idea.

[simlicious]

I always plan on chiming in on these topics, then I write a mammoth post and am afraid to post it because maybe everyone will skip it. But I will post this one and if you feel up to it, please read it, you might get valuable info out of this.

On Reducing Polygons: I absolutely agree that optimization is key and we could do a much better job with it. The methods of removing stray vertices should be standard practice and I always wonder why people do not do that in their workflows. Removing doubles on everything is not always a good idea, especially on clothing, but it might be different for objects. Still, I see a lot of disconnected faces on meshes that should be connected and not just a bunch of single faces next to each other. These kinds of pointless doubles and unnecessary split edges should definitely be removed too.

What I am doing to help I'm working on a tutorial right now showing another method you can use to reduce polys that gives you more control and better quality than decimate 💪. You can get to lower poly counts without so much quality loss too, but it requires some manual work, not just the push of a button, but it is super worth it! Keep your eye out for that one.

On conversions/learning/creating meshes: Tbh, even 7k is still madness for a clutter object, it shouldn't be above 1k. Even 1k is still high compared to EA's clutter meshes! We have lost perspective if we keep judging against insanely high polys and think that a 6k clutter object is low-poly. Nope, that is still insane in Sims standards (no matter the iteration) and you should not be using that either in your games if you care about game performance. Clutter objects made by EA are mostly under 500 vertices in the Sims 3, so if our goal is to have meshes that have only minimal impact on game performance, we need to seriously cut down on those vertices and polygons. We have to remember that a lot of vertices are also added with sims, and especially CC hairs are extremely too high. Most EA hairs for Sims 3 are only between 5-7k polys. When have you ever downloaded a CC hair that only had 5k? Granted, most of these hairs look pretty jagged and we got very used to the smoother high-poly ones that have at least double the polygons. but if keep those in our games, then we should pay even more attention to keeping the rest of our CC as low as possible to counteract that. It's about balance, how many high poly objects are actually rendered at once. The best tip would be to use high poly meshes sparingly, and for that, we also need low poly CC to balance out those high hitters we do not want to live without, and we need transparency from creators on their polygon counts. On conversions and learning how to mesh: I think a lot of people think converting is super easy and they do not have to learn much to do so. But actually, if you want to do quality work, you have to put in the work, read up on tutorials, and learn how to actually use the meshing tools, even if you do not create your own meshes. You still need to know how you would do them to make proper conversions and fix broken meshes along the way. It's definitely easier to become a creator first and then a converter, because you get a good grip on the basics first, learn what a standard mesh looks like, and learn best practices for the game you are creating for. You learn what needs fixing and then you can focus on how to fix and convert meshes that are structurally entirely different from your target game. It also helps to know what kinds of issues you guys are struggling with, so I can work on addressing them and make tutorials that are actually tailored to your needs. Also, if you have a problem, google, watch tutorials, ask people in the creator's discord, or people like me who have an open ear for those questions.

To get started in Blender, I recommend Blenderguru's Donut Series for Blender 3 and 4. Those teachers on YouTube know their stuff inside out and will give you valuable tips that you won't find in a Sims tutorial. You also learn how to make renders, do a simple animation, and light your mesh too, which are things you do not necessarily need for making meshes for the Sims, but are good to know for creating renders or fancy snapshots of your WIPs or something like that and helps understand what 3d tools can do and can be used for. The lighting tips you'll learn can also help you set up lights in your Sims game to make your creations stand out more. Google search some important techniques and practices like good topology/topology best practices, Uvmapping game assets, baking maps in Blender. If you want to create your own textures by generating, not drawing or copy-pasting them, you can look into sculpting tutorials and retopology, but that is a bit more advanced. You do not always have to start with a Sims tutorial either, in fact, I would highly recommend starting with a general meshing tutorial that covers the basics on modeling (for games), UV mapping and baking textures before focusing on sim specifics.

I get that a lot of tutorials out there use older Blender versions. But please do not shy away from using the newest Blender versions. Anything you can do in an older blender version you can also do in the newer one, and you can google how to do X in the new version and will find answers, you do not need to keep using a version just because you read a tutorial that used that one! Focus on tutorials that use at least Blender 2.8 or higher with the new UI, they will be much more translatable to the current versions. If you are searching for pure Blender tutorials, prefer the newest ones you can find that use the current Blender generation, and learn to use the most recent version of Blender. Update Blender regularly too. It is easier to keep up with new features that could make your meshing life easier if you go with the flow! You can export use older Blender versions along with new ones and keep old Blender Installs parallel to your new ones (they do not get automatically removed, just create several shortcuts to older versions if you want to keep using them), but Blender has come such a long way and has become so much easier and more intuitive to use. And there are tons of helpful plugins too, but Blender itself has become so good that you don't need to have them at all. Take the leap! CC creators that actually make great high-quality, low-poly stuff also learned that from somewhere else and practiced until they got it right. You gotta do the work, and it's fun to actually make progress and understand what you're doing! I cannot do the learning for you, but I can provide you with more of my knowledge to help you along the way. The most important thing is not to just blindly follow tutorials but to really understand what you are doing and why. My personal projects and goals I am building my first Blender plugin at the moment. I'm so excited about that because I can't actually code in Python, but I am getting the hang of directing Bing's AI to do my bidding and the addon is actually working so far! Hopefully, it will do everything that I want it to do by the end and I can share it with you🤞 This year, my goal is to create more tutorials. This will be the year of tutorials or something like that (let's see how long the New Year's motivation actually lasts). It's been on my mind for so long and I just can't bear to watch people blindly stumbling through their meshing adventures around me without doing something to help them out! And I also want to tackle the big topic of polygon counts this year and how we can better judge what is suitable for our games and what isn't. It's a big topic with a lot to cover, but if it works out the way I envision it, it will be the ultimate guide🤞It's been in my head for a long time, just getting stuff done in a streamlined manner is hard with mental health problems ND traits, and you may know this already from me, stuff takes me a lot of time to get done, but I am doing what I can to make everything as good as I can so when I do deliver you're in for a treat! If I was more organized and streamlined and my fears wouldn't hold me back, I would have created a YouTube channel and a Twitch channel by now so we could hang out and I make video tutorials for y'all 😫 but I hope I can overcome some of them and realize some of my more ambitious goals this year despite my fears!

Thanks for reading this huge wall of text, you're the best! I hope you found it a valuable use of your time.

Hello guys! First of all happy new year ! Hope you had a great time out there :) 🎆

Today I'm writing this to explain why decimation of Sims 4 meshes is paramount while converting stuff. You know me, I don't like to make statements as english isn't my first language and I find it difficult sometimes to actually write things down - even in italian I struggle sometimes lol. BUT I think this would be useful to all the cc converters and creators out there. So please, take this as an advice, for the sake of our oldie and beloved Sims 3.

Little backstory: I was casually browsing tumblr the other day and stumbled across a beautiful food set converted from Sims 4 - which I immediately saw was high quality. Just for curiosity I downloaded it, checked the polycount of a random object (if you're new here it's the total number of polygons found in a three-dimensional model) and it had way too many polys: 28k vertices - 34k faces + 4096x4096 textures.

Sims 3 is quite an old game now. Every player had experienced lag and glitches at some point so it's very, very important to make the stuff you create/convert from other games suitable for it! Here comes to the rescue a super useful tool in blender called decimation. It basically "allows you to reduce the vertex/face count of a mesh with minimal shape changes", as said on blender website. In just 2 minutes and with not so much effort I was able to reduce those polygons down to 8,4k vertices - 7,4k faces. Do you see any difference? I don't honestly.

Optimization is the key. Converting from sims 4 is not just taking the mesh and textures and putting them all in Sims 3. I wish it was tho!

You're free to put whatever you want in your game but you have to think about the game performance as well. There are people who still play the game and as an ex player I got really upset when I had laggy gaming sessions.

Having said that, here's a tut about blender and the decimation tool, done by @simaddix and which I think covers every important aspect of that useful tool.

If you read this all, thank you! Now I can go back to convert new stuff :D

-Marta

[zahhaxx]

im stuck in genshin impact again and i need to grind ascension materials to get everyone to 60 and i hate grinding and i really wanna continue the story but the bosses are scary and too strong and i wanna be overleveled so i have a chance against them. i also really wanna pull for hu tao for the thunder manifestation because amber sucks ass. im not using amber if i don't have to her ability is useless and her charge is so fucking slow. diona would be fucking awesome too or literally any fire or cryo ranged user bc i only have diluc, kaeya, and layla. i also have bennet and thoma but idk how to use them and they're not ranged so they're useless for the thunder manifestation. i don't have enough primogems to pull for hu tao!!! i'm doing as many quests as i can and unlocking stuff i just can't get enough!! i think i only have like 500 rn...so that's why i decided that grinding is probably the best thing for me to do bc it'll get everyone leveled and i'll earn some pg at the same time. i wish tighnari was more useful for the thunder manifestation! i know quicken and spread are pretty good i just don't know how to capitalize on it. also dont get me STARTED on tatara tales i'm stuck on the stupid activate the mechanism part and i HATE FIGHTING THE FATUI they're so annoying and im not fast enough to beat all of them before they destroy the mechanism and also tatara has that STUPID ELECTRO FIELD that damages you constantly and i know that the electrograna stops that but it doesn't last long enough when you're busy fighting!!! i can't think about all that all at once!!! i also still haven't fought raiden shogun and idk if i'm ever gonna be ready for that she terrifies me!!! ive been avoiding her and i don't even know how to prepare for her

but anyway this has really occupied my entire brain for the past week and even lost interest in ts4 bc this is all i can think about and its honestly exhausting!! genshin is still so much fun i just can't focus on any other game. scrolling through tumblr is making me feel really weird bc i see all your sims stuff and new cc and i feel left out but also i can't be bothered with it but that scares me because now i think i'm losing interest???? i don't wanna lose interest i still feel really satisfied when i make a good sim!! i wish i could spread myself thinner or i wish there were more hours in a day so i can do all the happy things!!!

[hajihiko]

do you have thoughts on izuru post sim? ive seen a few headcannons here and there where he disappears, or hajime develops a sort of alter ego/DID situation. im curious how he would play into the survivor dynamic you've got

Ok this is gonna be based on absolutely nothing but bear with me

1. Ideally, I would WANT Hajime and Izuru to be pretty merged, but still separate? Seperate, because I just think the concept of talking to the seperate entity in your mind is such a cool trope (in a fantasy/sci-fi setting, no real logic behind it, dont wanna be insulting towards people with actual DID). Merged, because I like the idea that Izuru would have some of Hajime's thoughts and feelings and he could re-learn what it's like to have feelings and friends 🥺 BUT that could potentially mean Hajime shares some of Izuru's lack of life luster, which is fittingly sad but.....haji....

It's like the best scenario for both of them I think, they sorta blend into each other but they can still be more this guy or more that guy, but they're pretty content

2. the other idea is that they sorta, fight to pilot the same vessel sometimes? Mostly Izuru doesn't much care about it, and Hajime is Player 1 by sheer force of will (which he has a lot of!!) But Izuru jumps out in moments of panic of where Hajime loses control, and it can be a little hard to get them to switch back. Which is a little scary bc Hajime may be pretty superhuman but it's all muddled into his shitty little normal human brain, and Izuru is 100% power 100% of the time.

(sidenote, Hajime having shit like super strength and super intelligence, but sometimes he forgets?? Like he needs to focus to apply talent and still remain himself, and sometimes it slips and he drops an entire car or something.)

This lends way to a fun "learning to live together" narrative and some drama!

Maybe first situation 2, then situation 1? Happy ending?

As for how it fits into the group;

I like the idea that Hajime might hide how much Izuru is still around, because drama, but he can't hide it for long because FRIENDSHIP. obviously his friends will love him regardless, but it might be a little scary to see your friend blink away and a blank slate of immense power pop out.

Akane would be on him right away because she can just tell there's something more to him. Her gut doesn't lie! But no one fully believes her at first :( she gets to have a great I Told You So moment. She kind of catches on that Izuru isn't...a SUPER huge threat, so she's chill (maybe too chill. If Izuru chose to do something bad, she wouldn't notice because of how non-emotional he is and it'd really fuck with her confidence in her senses.).

Souda wooooould probably be very distrusting of the whole thing. Like he's supportive of Hajime ofc but he does not like that there's a whole seperate guy (not really) who can spy on them. Souda is already such a suspicious guy, and I think at the end of FTEs hes like "ok don't make me suspect you tho hahaaa" but he comes around eventually. Probably loves that Izuru-side can do basically anything, great help with carrying heavy machinery!

Fuyuhiko is a very loyal dude and might take it a little far tbh? He's like "I wanna talk to HAJIME my friend HAJIME and no one else" and Hajime is like "ok I appreciate that we're still friends but I can't..make him leave. You're just yelling at *me* right now." I think he'd be the one to treat them the most as seperate people, which is sometimes good and sometimes bad (might relate Izuru to Peko and insist he's his own person lol). But bless his heart he tries real hard to let Hajime know he's in his corner.

Sonia is always a little hard for me so I have no idea about her tbh. I guess maybe she'd relate to Izuru a bit for being made into something he's not, the whole "useful first, human second"? She might actually think the whole thing is really cool and grill both Hajime and Izuru about the details of their situation.

Ok talky over I have no idea if this is gonna make sense I woke up like an hour ago lol

[gb-patch]

Hey there, I'm a huge fan of your works and the writing in them! I was wondering if you any advice for aspiring creators of a dating sim writing-wise?

Aw, I'm glad you like my writing! I'm not very good at giving advice, and even good advice doesn't work for everyone. I'm also not entirely sure if my idea of writing advice is what you had in mind, but I'll go ahead and try anyway.

First, try to keep a small scope of your script. Don't intend to make a huge master piece right away or let feature creep overtake the story. That's the number one advice for any beginner project, haha. With that said, what I like to keep in mind is that writing a unique character can come easier if personality traits/concepts are considered last. When writing, especially in dating sims, it can be easy to fall into the trap of X character is meant to be Y kind of trope and so they'll react in Z way. Usually, once you've decided broad personality traits, you don't have to try that hard to convince people they have them. It's getting the character to seem more interesting than that broad personality concept that's difficult.

So, what you can do is think about everything else to determine how they'll behave. What situation are they currently in, where were they before, what do they think they're gonna do after, do any opinions/ideologies/personal mantras/whatever that they already hold have relevance in the situation, are they in good health currently or not, are there things going on in their life (that the player might not even know about) that is also on their mind besides whatever is happening in front of them in the moment, are they alone or with people, what's their individual relationship/dynamic with those people if there are other people, what ideas/conclusions/guesses might the character be coming based on the situation, how are they participating in what's happening, what kind action could they potentially take next (stay there, leave, change the subject, etc.)? And so on.

Not all of that has to be thought of for every scene/conversation, but, in my opinion, their personality should only be taken into consideration once an idea of specifics has been determined. Because then you can use those details to say because of X and Y it'd make sense for my character to display their Z personality trait in this case.

And one more suggestion I'd give is pointing out how backstories can do the same thing for personality concepts that personality concepts can do for a character as a whole. Sometimes dating sims seem to use backstories as an explanation for the personality concept. The character is X archetype because Y thing happened. Past experiences can give motivation to do stuff, change perspectives, teach lessons, make them come to right or wrong conclusions on people/the world, impact the traits that they express, and etc. but I personally think it's a rare occurrence where some past experience is what actually makes a personality on its own. If a story says the love interest's parents died terribly when they were young and then says now you know why they're stoic, you don't know that much really.

Instead of stoic, they could've been sad or angry or anything else. Parents dying doesn't get the same reaction from every person. It's the personality they already had being brought against that terrible event that determines how it goes. Putting the focus on exploring the parts of their personality that made them turn to stoicism instead of rage/depression/whatever works better to me than an explanation that only goes as far as making sense. A reader can reasonably accept that the character was traumatized and their trauma reaction is shutting down their emotions, but, like before, worrying too much about the broadest part of the concept can make for a character who doesn't stand out.

I hope that helps somehow! It's pretty simple when you say it, but I know I needed it specifically noted out before it clicked on why some things felt more interesting than others.

FAQ    

Ask Archive    

Update Only Side Blog

[spellscarred]

GOOD MENTAL HEALTH GAMES

So here’s a list of games that help me get through bad days, whether it’s just being out of spoons, or being triggered, or just needing to not think for a hot second, it doesn’t matter. I’ll make sure to tell you why they might appeal, because not every game will work for every mood/situation.

STARDEW VALLEY [ PC / XBOX1 / PS4 / SWITCH / IOS / ANDROID ] — of course, this is the ultimate good mental health game. It’s very relaxing, it’s involved enough that you can focus on it without having to do anything intensive. You can play at your own pace, and you can even play with a friend, if you need that extra support.

GRAVEYARD KEEPER [ PC / XBOX1 / PS4 / SWITCH / IOS / ANDROID ] — this game is here for the same reason as stardew valley, but with an entirely different vibe. You play a man from our time who’s mysteriously transported to medieval times, who has to run a graveyard to find his way back. If Stardew Valley is too soft and cutesy for you, you’ll like Graveyard Keeper’s more morbid twist on it. Steeped in dark humour.

NO MAN’S SKY [ PC / XBOX1 / PS4 ] — surely everyone’s heard of this game from its disastrous launch back in 2016. Since then, Hello Games has worked tirelessly to bring existing and new players free updates and turn it into the game that they’d promised from the start. I’d say they’ve delivered. This game is vast, with plenty to do, plenty to see; you can get lost exploring planet after planet, learning more about the other civilisations that inhabit the galaxies (yes, plural), trading, hunting pirates, raiding freighters, owning freighters, base building, playing with friends... This game can initially be very overwhelming, but the key to this game is to just focus on one thing at a time.

ASTRONEER [ PC / XBOX1 / PS4 ] — if No Man’s Sky is too vast for you, then you might want to try your hand at Astroneer. It’s a lot more contained, much more stylised, and since there’s less content, it’s a lot harder to lose yourself in how much there is to actually do and thus get overwhelmed. Just a fun, lowkey planetary exploration game with cartoon-y graphics. Also with co-op options.

CITIES: SKYLINES [ PC / XBOX1 / PS4 / SWITCH ] — if you’re looking for something to just relax with but still get the sense you’re doing something productive, then you might want to try your hand at Cities: Skylines. The goal is to make a functional city, down to managing the flow of traffic and meeting the zoning demands of your citizens, et cetera. It’s easy to pour a few hours into this once you get the hang of it. Of course, you can also go the Sims route and just give yourself infinite money to design a city to your wishes.

JURASSIC WORLD EVOLUTION [ PC / XBOX1 / PS4 ] — so this is like the old Zoo Tycoon, if the animals were large long-extinct creatures that have a habit of breaking out of their habitats if sufficiently agitated. There’s two ways you can play the game; you can follow the story line, which slowly seeks to reclaim the islands lost in the Jurassic Park trilogy, right down to wrangling the now wild dinosaurs roaming the islands and turning the GenSec bases into functional parks. Or, once you get a 4 star rating on Isla Matanceros, you go sandbox mode on Isla Nublar, which provides you with ample space and neigh unlimited money to go wild on.

BORDERLANDS 2 [ PC / XBOX1 / PS4 / IOS / ANDROID ] — if you’re more into shoot and loot, you’ll find Borderlands 2 (and the Borderlands franchise in and of itself) quite satisfying. I recommend BL2 especially because while it’s dated, its graphics and gameplay still holds up, it’s on older gen consoles as well, and its price tag is a lot less costly than immediately going for Borderlands 3. The game’s funny, it doesn’t really require you to think a lot, and it’s just great fun shooting AI in the face and blowing things up. Even if you’re self-reportedly ‘bad at FPS’, there’s no expectations where Borderlands 2 is concerned. Just sorta aim and shoot, no doubt something will die and give you a shiny prize for it. Endorphines galore.

SPORE [ PC ] — disclaimer, Spore is great up to a certain point, and after that it becomes absolute garbage. Most people agree that the microbial and creature stages of Spore are absolutely fantastic and there’s some whacky fun to be had creating ridiculous-looking creatures and getting them to survive in the direction you’ve decided to take them. Generally, after the Creature Stage comes the Civilisation Stage, which is about the time I restart the game, which is a pity. The longest stage, which is the Space Stage, is arguably also the worst stage. But it’s cheap, and the first two stages are really just that iconic.

TWO POINT HOSPITAL [ PC / XBOX1 / PS4 / SWITCH ] — if you’re like me and you’ve been playing video games on PC for 25 years, surely you’ll remember a little game called Theme Hospital. The weirdest, most ridiculous hospital simulation game ever created. This is that, but from 2018, opposed to 1997. I’ve spent hours upon hours in Theme Hospital trying to save patients, make my layouts make sense, and keep people from littering everywhere, you heathens! In later levels, it can get pretty stressful, but particularly earlier levels, it’s just good ol’ fun.

THE SIMS 4 [ PC / XBOX1 / PS4 ] — speaking of the Sims, the franchise is obviously the most well-known ‘I know I’m in a depression hole because I played for the past 21 hours and I haven’t eaten yet and I probably won’t shower for the next 5 days’ game. Granted, I list the Sims 4, but any iteration of the Sims works for this purpose. Just motherlode and go, my friends. Cure the emptiness by creating a house you’ll never be able to afford. (Personally I use it to create my characters from toddler and making them meet and kiss their SOs, but you know.)

PLANET ZOO [ PC ] — I likened Jurassic World Evolution to Zoo Tycoon but with dinosaurs. Planet Zoo is Zoo Tycoon on steroids. That’s it. Planet Zoo is incredibly robust and in-depth, but the idea is simple: manage a zoo, help animals get off the endangered species list, and release them into the wild where you can while keeping visitors happy and keeping your park clean (why are visitors in sim games always such terrible raccoons)! Go creative mode and just create a zoo to your own wishes with no constraints and you’ll have a great mental health game.

PLANET COASTER [ PC / XBOX1 / PS4 ] — if Planet Zoo is Zoo Tycoon on steroids, then Planet Coaster is Rollercoaster Tycoon on steroids (which, in turn, was a more robust version of 1994′s Theme Park, from the same devs as Theme Hospital mentioned above). Like with Planet Zoo, you make a theme park, create rides that kill people and desperately try to hold back the tide of litter that’ll inevitably happen. But really, just go creative mode and make rollercoasters with so much G-force that it’ll kill everyone that rides them.

RAFT [ PC ] — a co-op game set in an Earth enveloped by oceans, you’re essentially a scout on a raft and that raft will become your home as you build onto it. You go from island to island to collect materials, seeds for food and trees, and discover the lore of the world. Your only enemy is hunger, thirst, and the ever-present shark that really only wants to hug you with its teeth. It’s a friend. Promise.

So do you have any games that you think should be on this list? Games that help you get through days where it’s just really hard to be a person? Feel free to add onto this post. Just make sure you let people know the name, the platforms its available on, the general gist of the game, and why it helps you through tough days.

Enjoy your good mental health days and good luck on your bad mental health days, everyone. 💛

[howdoyousleep3]

Bucky and Daddy Steve in quarantine...how do they cope?

Yes amazing incredible brilliant I have been waiting for this question. 

Let’t talk feelings:

Steve is torn. Half of him is like, “thank fuck I can finally be home” and the other half of him is hella anxious about being able to do his job well away from the office

He is always a man with a plan but everything being up in the air and in question does not sit well with Steve. He knows he has to stay calm and has to shoulder the responsibility of having to look after Bucky.

Bucky is freaking out. He cries when his classes get cancelled and when he realizes he has to take it seriously and not see Natasha. He worries about his family back in Indiana but his mom calls him almost every day for the first week because he is in New York fucking City

Bucky knows rough times are ahead and knows that he needs to brace for them and make plans and lists for what to do if things get bad for him mentally 

Work and School: 

Steve and communication!!!! He knows they need to talk about what they both need to stay on top of their work. Steve needs longer periods of time without interruptions and he needs to work in his office to feel focused. Bucky needs some sort of schedule, needs to be told when to take a break, and also needs a space to focus 

Steve makes Bucky a cute little work space in the kitchen at the table because of the windows and light. He sets up a little speaker, and shows Bucky the snacks he bought for him, got a little picture frame with a picture of the two of them within it.

Steve wakes Bucky up around 7 each morning, slow wake-ups, makes sure coffee is ready. They agree to eat lunch together at noon each day, agree that the stopping point for each day is 4 PM.

Working from home is a bitch for Steve. He’s so used to having his people and his resources all in one spot and to not makes things harder. 

School for Bucky is also a bitch. He finds himself not being able to stay on top of his workload at first and the temptation to move to the couch is far too high and almost constant

They’re both far too tempted by the other being within seconds of them

They get the hang of things but there are good days and there are bad days (Hell Zone Days) and they never really know how it’s going to turn out.

How to Stay Busy:

The typical answer-- Netflix. They find some shows to binge and some new movies to watch. Bucky introduces Steve to Parks and Rec and Steve makes a valiant attempt at showing Bucky the Fast and Furious movies. 

Bucky FaceTimes Nat often, mostly to work together, but it’s absolutely necessary that he talk to her and see her face

Steve buys a lot of puzzles and Bucky tries, he really tries, but he hates them, detests them, can’t understand how Steve can keep looking at the same pieces over and over again trying to figure out where they go

Bucky loves playing Animal Crossing, even buys Sims and gets back into that

Steve works out every morning, runs on the treadmill in the basement, lifts some weights, same ‘ol. Sometimes Bucky will take a break and do some yoga, stretching after sitting for so long, which Steve finds so deliciously distracting

They both start to find a love for being in the kitchen. They’ve both always had it but have grown so used to eating out. Steve loves planning and preparing these crazy delicious dinners and Bucky groans about how he’ll need to start working out with Steve in order to maintain his weight 

Bucky prefers to bake, likes the weighing of ingredients and how meticulous it is, likes that focus. It’s Steve’s turn to gripe about how he’s going to have to up his workout in the morning, in length and weight, but Bucky tells him he might be more than okay if Daddy got a little thicker

Relationship: 

There are sweet times, so much extra time for sexy times: lunch break blowjobs, lazy couch sex, rimming in the shower. So much extra time to take things long and slow and it’s seriously the best.

This is quite the test for the two of them. They have never had such a prolonged period of time spent together. It is natural that they butt heads a bit. 

They get into the stupidest fights. Steve would get irritated that Bucky won’t separate lights and darks when he does laundry or leaves coffee cups in the sink. Bucky would get upset at Steve for being so calm and relaxed and for leaving his sweaty towels piled up in the bathroom.

They’d raise their voices, Steve trying to stay as calm as possible, knows that Bucky has been hanging on by a thread. Steve would have no choice but to walk away and Bucky would pout, take an hour, go back to Steve’s office and climb into his lap, whispering his apologies. Steve wouldn’t let him apologize, saying it’s his fault, and they’d go back and forth with kisses and coos.

But there’s one point where Bucky’s anxiety gets so bad even Steve doesn’t know what to do and he resorts to something they’ve never tried before--

Shibari:

Steve’s had this set of navy blue ropes he bought within two weeks of dating Bucky but they’ve never gotten around to properly use them but there isn’t a better time 

Bucky had two panic attacks yesterday, one of them Steve walked in on while the other Bucky came to him, and Bucky hasn’t ever had his anxiety this high while with Steve 

He’s at a loss and hurting, can’t watch Bucky hurt anymore

He doesn’t consult Bucky, makes the decision for the two of them when Bucky is on the cusp of another attack one afternoon. Luckily, Bucky has grown comforted by Steve’s touch when he gets this way, so Steve pulls him close, carries him to their bedroom, lays him out on the bed 

“I’m gonna do something, Buck, somethin’ we’ve never done before. It’s gonna help you and me and make you feel better. What do you say if you want it to stop? S’good, sugar. You trust me? Yeah? I want you to take your clothes off, fold them, and put them on that chair.” 

Bucky barely reacts to the ropes, Steve having to pull his bottom lip out of his mouth before it bleeds. Steve is a little nervous, hasn’t done this in a while, never with Bucky, but it feels different now that so much rests on his own shoulders 

Steve tells Bucky he loves him, makes Bucky say it back even though he doesn’t need to force it, takes his shirt off, and begins 

The motions come back to Steve like he had never taken a break from this in so long, makes him almost miss it...

He’s gentle when he moves Bucky, when he makes his knots, kisses at his soft skin before crossing rope over it. 

Bucky starts to leave him almost immediately, always soft for Daddy’s hands on his body, but there’s never been something that stays behind after Daddy’s hands leave him like this. 

“You goin’ sweet on me already, sugar? A’course, Buck that’s great, s’all okay, baby. I got ya, always got ya...” 

He rolls Bucky onto his front, wraps and ties and knots an intricate pattern to ensure Bucky’s arms are restrained to his sides, curled at the elbow behind his back. When he rolls Bucky back onto his front he gives him a few sweet kisses on a slack mouth, tells Bucky he loves him again 

By the time Steve has connected the ropes around his front, hooking the crease of his hips, his thighs, the rope is cradling Bucky’s cock but not restraining his thighs in any way (not for his first time) 

And Steve is worried he’s going to blow from arousal and adoration 

He can’t remember a time Bucky has looked more beautiful. He looks like an angel almost, navy blue rope on creamy skin on a backdrop of crisp white sheets. 

Bucky’s hard and Steve is almost certain Bucky isn’t aware of it. His eyes are half-open, lips curled up at the corners, cheeks flushed. Steve isn’t sure he’s seen Bucky so gone. 

Steve’s never been so in love

He’s bends and kisses his way up Bucky’s chest, his neck, his lips. “You good, sweetheart?” he whispers in Bucky’s ear and barely feels the tick of a nod, barely hears the breathy slur of an “Uh-huh...” 

And thus Steve picks up another Quarantine hobby

Drawing Bucky while he’s tied up and at his mercy and so fucking beautiful 

He pulls up a chair next to the bed and digs around in the closet for an old sketchpad, finds a pencil, and sits there and sketches Bucky in such a vulnerable position 

He sits there for almost two hours and sketches Bucky, periodically moving him into different positions to ensure he’s still floaty and to draw him in another fashion. He gives him sweet kisses and whispers how pretty Bucky looks and sits back into his chair

He misses sketching, misses Shibari, wonders if Bucky will want to do this in the future. (Answer: he does)

After Steve has moved him into four different positions, has a bit of a hand cramp, he moves back to the bed and joins Bucky naked, crawls over his form, kisses at his chest, his nipples.

He’s been more than half-hard for over two hours now, Bucky having been sporting an angry erection almost the entire time, and when he brings his hand to curl around Bucky’s cock Bucky makes such a soft noise Steve thinks he might tear up

“Want you to come, Buck. Want you come knowing that I love you and that you’re okay and that you’re the strongest and most beautiful human being I’ve ever fucking met--” 

Bucky starts coming before Steve even finishes his first sentence, doesn’t make any noises except for a heavy exhale that almost resembles a whine, the tiniest grin on his lips 

Steve gets a hand on himself as soon as he can, is still whispering to Bucky how much he loves him and adores him and finds him beautiful and how perfect he is and adds to the mess already on Bucky’s stomach, his chest

They talk about this experience for the both of them in the bath later: 

Steve lets Bucky ask questions. Had Steve done this before? Was Bucky’s reaction “normal”? Will it always put him in that headspace? Was it supposed to feel that good? 

Bucky liked it so much it makes him nervous, wonders if it could happen again, worries there might be a chance of him relying on it too much, has never felt more relaxed in his entire goddamn life. 

Steve tries to tell Bucky how it made him felt, how breathtaking it was for Steve, how much he loved seeing Bucky give into him and his pleasure and to watch his worries leave his body.

They agree to explore it in the future, especially after Bucky hears Steve went lighter, used bonds and a pattern that were simple, but they both agree that it shouldn’t become and extremely frequent thing, just when they both are in the correct headspace for it. 

Steve shows Bucky his sketches that evening, Bucky gasping and blushing at seeing himself in such a way, shocked that Steve is so talented. But he’s surprisingly aroused, that sweet space still tingly in his mind, and tucks into Steve’s neck, tells him he loves him. 

“I love you too, sugar...” 

I am so fucking sorry this is like the longest answer I’ve ever given, wowow. I’ve never written them doing this and it totally got away from me! 

[thesimmingspacebard]

Game of Thrones Legacy Challenge

Because I love legacy challenges, and I love killing sims, I thought the perfect, fantastical hybrid would be of the Game of Thrones variety. I take inspiration from the books/series, but I change a lot to make for a more satisfying sims-ified generational story. After all, now these great houses are all a related family tree, not competing for power in the same land. So many things will be different, deal with it, don’t @ me. 

Okay, into the GoT Legacy challenge. 

Base rules:

Every heir must do the political career (AKA King) unless stated otherwise 

You have to go through with planned deaths

You must change castle color schemes for each main house 

Cheating is allowed to get the intended children 

Each child must max one toddler skill and one child aspiration

Asha Greyjoy

After her parents died, Asha did anything to keep her and her siblings afloat. She sold family heirlooms, downsized land, and became a criminal of the high seas. But, now that her siblings have grown, Asha grows tired of defaming her family name. Settling down in what remains of the Greyjoy Manor,  Asha sets out to create a dynasty of her own. However, they’re taking that whole family motto (“We Do Not Sow”) pretty seriously. While they do still work odd jobs as a petty criminal, she keeps insisting she’s doing it for the right reasons. Asha wants to make the world a better place than her ancestors did... But she wants to do it in a fast-track kind of way and decides to rise up in the world by marrying a wealthy spouse. 

So her new legacy begins. 

Asha’s Traits: Gloomy, Outgoing, Good (At heart) 

Asha must max out the fishing aspiration

Asha must mount at least 10 fish to her walls

Asha must have at least 3 sons

Asha must have a live-in maid to help with children 

Asha must build an opulent castle with her riches (or appropriate the Baratheon Castle I built on the gallery (The_SpaceBard) 

You must choose if Asha will quit her criminal career and devote herself to her rowdy children and repairing her lackluster marriage, or stay in the criminal career, take a lover, and have a illegitimate child that her spouse casts out

Robert Baratheon

Leading is hard for Robert Baratheon, particularly with his brother, Stannis, always on his heels. Stannis thinks he’s the better leader, but he respects Robert’s claim to heir. But, despite their uneasy peace, it's always created this unspoken rivalry between the two. 

Robert taking everything Stannis ever wants, though, doesn’t help. 

When Robert becomes of age, he takes over as head of house. But along with it, he takes Stannis’ high school sweetheart. Will the two find a way to reconcile or will Stannis’ jealousy rip the two (and perhaps the entire kingdom) apart? 

Robert’s Traits: Glutton, Slob, Good

Stannis’ Traits: Good, Ambitious, Jealous

Renley’s Traits: Outgoing, Romantic, Active 

Renley must die on his young adult birthday 

Stannis must have a teen pregnancy resulting in one child: Shireen

Robert must steal Stannis’ partner

Robert must have at least 4 children with said partner: Brandon, Lyanna, Eddard, Benjen

Robert must max out charisma 

Robert must die once all his children born 

Stannis must join the detective career 

You must choose of Stannis forgives his long-lost-beloved and raises his daughter and her children as family or if he sets his wife and daughter on fire and is executed for it

Ned Stark

After the internal bickering of his father and uncle that left the family in ruin, Robert’s children are all too aware of what power can do to their family. Disillusioned with ruling, Brandon leaves the house to his siblings, never to be seen again. 

While that leaves Lyanna heir, she’s uninterested in leadership and Eddard (AKA Ned) takes charge. Renaming his family the Starks, he sets out to focus on family first, not power. 

Tragedy still strikes, however, over and over until he finds himself the final Stark standing. Things only start looking up when he falls in love and creates a family of his own. 

He raises 6 strong children (including the baby of his sister, Lyanna). Though he does not seize more power in his lifetime, he couldn’t be prouder.  

Brandon’s Traits: Good, Self-Assured, Hot-Headed

Ned’s Traits: Family-Oriented, Good, Neat 

Lyanna Traits: Romantic, Loves the Outdoors, Music Lover

Benjen’s Traits: Loner, Good, Gloomy

Brandon must start the Leader of the Pack aspiration

Brandon must “go missing” when he becomes a young adult (Feel free to get creative, but I will be locking him in a dungeon below)

Benjen must freeze to death

Lyanna must have a teen pregnancy with a much older man

Lyanna must die after giving birth to a son: Jon (can cheat gender) 

Ned must marry a jealous redhead

After all his siblings are dead, Ned has five children in rapid succession: Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran, Rickon

You must choose if Ned will raise Jon as a son or as a servant 

Sansa Stark

Unlike generations before, and much like Ned hoped, the second Starks did not grow up coveting each other’s talents or responsibilities. Jon dreamed of becoming a simple hunter, Sansa wanted to be a princess, Arya wanted to be an athlete, Bran wanted to be a scholar, and Rickon wanted to be a baker. Every Stark left the house to become their own person, save Robb, Sansa, and Jon. They figured they could maintain their kingdom on their own. 

That is, until Robb tragically, suddenly dies and it's up to Sansa to take up the mantle. As a child she just wanted to be a pretty princess and wife, but can she step up and become a queen? 

Jon’s Traits: Loner, Dog Lover, Loves The Outdoors 

Robb’s Traits: Insider, Outgoing, Self-Absorbed (Or Self-Assured, if you don’t have Get Famous) 

Sansa’s Traits: Genius, Materialistic, Ambitious 

Arya’s Traits: Active, Hot-Headed, Noncommittal 

Rickon’s Traits: Cheerful, Foodie, Squeamish 

Bran’s Traits: Gloomy, Bookworm, Unflirty 

Robb must start a “Winterfell” club 

All Stark children (except Robb, Sansa, and Jon) must leave the castle once they become young adults. That can be for school, romance, death, etc. 

Except Robb. Robb MUST die at his own wedding

When Robb dies, Jon gets a dog

Sansa must have 3 children: Rhaegar, Viserys, and Danaerys (Dani, if your fingers don’t want to deal with typing it out). Sansa must have Rhaegar early on and Viserys and Dani much later

You must choose if Sansa dies alongside her son, Rhaegar, in the same tragedy or deliberately gets him killed herself for his abandonment and neglect

Dani Targaryen

Watching the Stark house almost collapse because of all the children going off to do their own things, Rhaegar wanted to whip the house back into shape under a new name: House Targaryen. Ambitious and determined (and a little unhinged), the dragon-like siblings wanted to reclaim glory for their mother who held the castle together in its darkest hours. 

That is, until Rhaegar runs off with a pretty young thing and shirks all his duties. 

Dani quickly takes over, despite the fact her brother Viserys is always looking over her shoulder and trying to enforce his whims without doing any of the work. Dani will not let bad seeds get in the way of her family legacy, though, no matter the cost

Rhaegar’s Traits: Kleptomaniac, Music Lover, Noncommittal 

Viserys’ Traits: Mean, Ambitious, Hot-Headed

Dani’s Traits: Cat Lover, Hot-Headed or Erratic, Genius

Rhaegar must max out the violin skill  

Rhaegar must get married, divorce, and remarry a much younger woman

Viserys must turn into a vampire and burn to death

Dani must marry and become a widower within the week 

Dani must max out her Debate and Charisma skills

Dani must have 3 very territorial cats and one (possibly adopted) child: Lysa

Dani must extend her life as much as possible

You must choose if Dani will have an illicit affair with an extended family member (descendent of Asha’s illegitimate child/Renley, descendant of Shireen, descendant of the Stark children who left) to produce Lysa or have three more dead spouses, none of which give her a child

Lysa Tully

Lysa grew up with the breaker of chains, the mother of dragon-like cats, the most famous ruler in recent history. She made mountains move with a single word. 

It’s not Dani’s fault she didn’t have much time for Lysa. She was making the world better for everyone, including her daughter. And that didn’t affect Lysa much, not really, she just is a little clingy... and stressed out... and just desperately wants to start her own family.

But will a family of her own ever fill the empty space in her heart?  

Lysa’s Traits: Paranoid, Family-Oriented, Erratic

Lysa must have only one son: Robin 

Robin’s other parent must die

Lysa must have no skills over level 1 other than parenting 

Lysa must get fired from politics, leaving Dani to still rule until her great-granddaughter is of age

Lysa must max out the Super Parent aspiration

Lysa’s only close friend is her son

You must decide if Lysa becomes a single parent for life or she’ll find love again

Robin Arryn

Robin’s mother, Lysa, was clingy. It overwhelmed Robin his entire life, especially living in such a large castle with one lonely, overbearing woman following him constantly. He loved her dearly, particularly since he knows how... distant his grandmother can be. But Robin is desperate for breathing room and to make his own mark on their legacy

He was a delicate, uncoordinated child who needed and appreciated the extra hand from Lysa, but now as an adult, Robin just wants to bring color and joy back into the castle. And, in turn, to the people of their kingdom

Robin’s Traits: Squeamish, Creative, Clumsy 

Robin must become Lysa’s best friend (until he becomes an adult and marries) 

Robin must marry young to a local villager with similar features to his mother

Robin must have two children: Margaery and Loras 

Robin must max out the painter and piano skills 

Robin must litter the castle with masterpieces ONLY

Margaery Tyrell

Margaery grew up in a complicated home, with two elderly matriarchs running the kingdom. Grandma Lysa was never quite queen material, and Margaery was disgusted with her for it. She identified more with her great-grandmother, the infinite Queen Dani, a cunning dragoness of a ruler.  

Growing up idolizing her queen, adoring her father, and sharing everything with her brother, Margaery always felt she was being groomed to be a well-rounded, beloved queen in her own right. When Queen Dani finally passes on, Margaery is sure she will be the monarch Dani always meant her to be. But will she live up to her own expectations? 

Margaery’s Traits: Cheerful, Genius, Outgoing

Loras’s Traits: Active, Romantic, Freegan 

Young Margaery must be close to Dani until she dies, but hates Lysa  

Margaery must take the throne when Dani dies 

Margaery must have three children: Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion 

Margaery’s partner must hate Tyrion 

Margaery’s partner must also be romantically involved with Loras 

You must decide if Margaery or Loras get to have a happily ever after once Tyrion is born. The other must die tragically

Cersei/Tyrion Lannister

The Lannister children grew up knowing that the family and their legacy comes first. But perhaps they took that a tad too literally. 

Cersei, the eldest daughter of Queen Margaery, was proud to be the next beautiful woman leading their dynasty. But unlike her foremothers, Cersei refused to take a spouse. She insisted to the kingdom that she does not need a marriage to be great. 

Though, her growing brood of golden blonde children is a little confusing for the villagers. Unbeknownst to the people, their second parent is not her noble suitor that she keeps around for appearances, but her twin brother. If their secret is ever discovered, her reign might be doomed and their nosy, judgmental, annoyingly intelligent younger brother may be forced to be the king he never wanted to be. 

Tyrion’s Traits: Genius, Good, Gloomy 

Cersei’s Traits: Mean, Creative, Ambitious 

Jaime’s Traits: Active, Good, Romantic

Cersei must have a “beard” aka a cover romance for her true soulmate situation 

Jaime and Cersei must have an illicit relationship since their teenage years and have children together

Cersei must have 4 children: Joffrey, Myrcella, Tommen, Tywin

Joffrey’s Traits: Evil, Mean; Myrcella’s Trait: Creative Tommen’s Trait: Cheerful

Joffrey must die as a teen

The other two Lannister “Purebloods” must get taken away by authorities before they reach their teen years (the fourth one must be taken as an infant) 

Once her children are gone, Cersei will die 

Once all his nephews/nieces are gone, Tyrion will adopt 2 boys: Doran and Oberyn

You must decide if Jaime comes to his senses and helps run the kingdom with Tyrion or dies with Cersei 

Doran and Oberyn Martell

Raised to be the best they can be, Doran and Oberyn were pitted against each other far too often. It created a rivalry between the two that grew insidious over the years. After decades of chaos, clashing ideologies, and lots and lots of death, both men wanted to bring the kingdom into an age of glory. They grew tired of all the broken relationships and want their house to come back together and stay strong. However, they both want to do it very differently. Doran wants to promote education, peace, and humanitarianism. Oberyn prefers expansion, freedom, and nationalism. 

The two tolerated each other out of brotherly love, but when their father dies and the crown falls to them, who will lead the kingdom to greatness? 

Doran’s Traits: Bookworm, Perfectionist, Self-Assured

Oberyn’s Traits: Romantic, Outgoing, Hot-Headed 

Both children must be close to their adoptive father, Tyrion 

Doran must max out Logic, Wellness, and Writing

Oberyn must max out Charisma, Singing, and Fitness

Doran and Oberyn must compete at least 10 times over their lifetime (Chess, Fighting, Lottery, Dance fight, Card game, Foosball, Horseshoe game). Have the siblings keep track (trophies, sad clowns, scoreboards, your pick) 

They must invite 3 long-lost family members to the castle

You must decide if the intellectual Doran or the charismatic Oberyn leads the castle into a new era; the other must die by public execution  

If you decide to play, please tell me! I’ll be doing a YouTube series following my own adventures in the challenge so I’d love to see what you guys do with it. 

[katatty]

For the Sims 2 questions: 3, 12, 16, 19 and 25 if you want! 😊

3. Riverblossom Hills vs Downtown?

I think it’s Downtown for me! I do like Riverblossom Hills and think its premades are interesting, I like the idea of a rural town but there’s something about it that just doesn’t do it for me... meanwhile Downtown is great just because it doesn’t come with a bunch of premades so it’s super versatile and useful? Every sims neighbourhood needs a local big city and Downtown idk, it’s just good for that! Plus I really like that so many of the downtownies have unique faces, glasses, makeup, etc. They’re way cooler than the maxis townies or dormies. Not to mention the Tricous - I’ve never really played with the dead ones but I really like those “teens” with the mysterious connection to Jon Smith Tricou - so much intrigue and potential there!

12. Favourite male premade sim?

It’s Dustin Broke! I have a soft spot for Ripp Grunt & Tybalt Capp too but Dustin is still my favourite. There’s just something about the idea of this poor kid doing his best to help his family and going down a dangerous road... I know some people play him as more of a bad guy but I’ve never been able to see it lol, he’s so sweet with his little brother? I also love that he is so into environment & animals and has the nature OTH, he is always talking about those things and doing that extremely cute “pretending to be a bird” animation during conversations, it’s very wholesome! (Angela is the same & it’s one of my main reasons for liking them as a couple, haha.) He is a sweet boy and nobody can convince me otherwise.

16. Who amidst the premades and within the original plot deserved better according to you?

This is kind of a weird question because it’s so easy for the player to give the sims whatever plot they want but maybe I’d say Cassandra Goth? She’s meant to be the “quiet, mysterious type”, she’s got this really out there eccentric style, is a scientist, literally based on Wednesday Adams, basically could be a really intriguing and cool character. I feel like she ought to have more of a “cool” vibe???

But her family aspiration, and “can she tame the town cassanova??” engagement to Don Lothario makes her seem like... honestly for lack of a better word “basic” lmao? Like even if you set Don up as less of an asshole and her as less naive & gulible I just don’t like the idea that this mysterious, alternative, eccentric scientist’s main aspiration in life being marriage and babies with this really conventional “hot” dude, idk. I find it hard to reconcile what I want Cassandra to be versus how she’s actually presented so I never really know what to do with her. Some people just throw maxis stuff down the toilet and do their own thing completely but I like to say somewhat true to “canon” or at least an interpretation of it..? I know people will say like “why can’t a cool alternative type also want marriage and kids” and fine but c’mon like... Don Lothario??

19. Favourite female and male townie & favourite NPC of yours?

Meadow Thayer & Tiave Tricou/Teens! Mainly just because they happened to become playable in my uberhood and I have a lot of fun with them. For NPCs... idk, I don’t want to say Kaylynn because she’s not even really a favourite of mine but I’m stuggling to even think of any other NPCs lmao, I don’t really pay a lot of attention to them!

Oh wait I know. Jessica Ebadi, the burglar! She’s the coolest out of the Pleasantview burglars for sure, I remember in some Pleasantview machinima series she was portrayed as like this badass mastermind of the crime scene, it was cool.

Oh, also, back before we had Meetme’s templates and I played with the original Strnagetown/Veronaville townies, I was always a fan of the Strangetown maid, Genesis Lam! Mainly just because the name is so appropriately Strangetown-y, haha. She used to clean the Curious house in one of my oldest saves and became pretty good friends with them

25. Your favourite Expansion Pack?

It’s gotta be university! I’ve talked lots of times about how much I enjoy the EP so I won’t go on for ages but honestly I just love getting to play sims for long periods and giving them little “coming of age” type stories without stressing out about careers & kids. You can focus almost entirely on the social stuff like parties, friends, enemies & romances which are my favourite things to focus on in the game :) Plus it’s so fun to create huge households of unlikely roommates - you can do that with adult sims too ofc like the Singles household but they don’t tend to last long since the sims inevitably start wanting to settle down & have kids etc.

[smallmediumproblems]

The Last Question

Martin wished that he had something clever to say as he and Jon stepped out of the Lonely. His head was filled with a hundred little mundane observations that suddenly seemed to matter so much more than they had a moment ago. If he opened his mouth, they would all come spilling out. Surely there was no need to point out how warm Jon’s hands were, and Jon must already have known how tightly he was holding Martin. Martin settled on one that was, if not very indicative of where his focus was, perhaps the most relevant to their situation.

“You’re still here,” he said to Elias. He made no effort not to sound disappointed.

“And so is my Archivist,” Elias replied.

Martin made a skeptical noise. “I’m pretty sure he’s my Archivist, at this point.”

“Is he?” said Elias.

Jon shuddered against him. Martin pulled back to look him over. His eyes were glassy, and his face was startlingly, deathly slack.

“Hey, stay with me,” Martin prompted him. His voice seemed to bring Jon back to his senses. Jon blinked hard, trying to reclaim his eyes.

“I can’t... “ he muttered, “It won’t stop. I can’t make it stop.”

“Jon, slow down,” said Martin, “You’re going to be alright. I’m here.” Martin said it because he wanted to, not because he thought it was true.

Jon was trying to smile, but his expression kept slipping in and out of focus, like he was struggling to stay awake. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t,” Martin pleaded, “No, don’t be, you did so well, you- you saved me. I- I can save you, too, just give me some time to figure this out.”

“I love you,” said Jon. It was very nearly enough. Martin hoped impossibly that it would be. Instead, he felt all of the tension slip away from Jon’s body piece by piece. He watched him drift out of focus one last time.

“Jon?” asked Martin, although he knew it was not.

“Oh,” the Archivist sighed, “That’s better.”

It very gently disentangled itself from Martin���s arms and fixed him with a stare that would have been apologetic if Martin thought that it actually cared. “I’m sorry for your loss, Martin Blackwood. I’m afraid I don’t need him.”

“Finally,” said Elias, “After all this time.”

“What did you do?” Martin demanded. Elias smiled nastily.

“Very little,” he said, “In the grand scheme of things. Jon did the vast majority of the work to make this happen, though you can rest assured that this wouldn’t have been possible without you.”

Looking back, Martin assumed that there must have been something in between that exchange and the moment when he had his hands around Elias’ throat, but he didn’t know or care what it could have been. Just as quickly, the Archivist had one hand on his chest and the other on Elias’ shoulder. Both of them knew better than to fight back as it pushed them apart.

“That’s not necessary,” it stated. “I’d like to get this over with. I’ve been waiting for quite some time, as well.”

“For what?” Martin asked desperately.

“My ritual, of course,” said Elias. “The Watcher’s Crown. Decades of preparation, and we are only just ready to begin.” He held out his hand to the Archivist, which studied it with such blank disinterest that Martin almost had to laugh.

It looked up at Martin.

“Do you want to come with me?” it asked.

There was no question as to whether Martin would answer, or how. “I don’t want you to go,” he said.

It nodded. “I wouldn’t either.”

Martin’s mind raced as it turned and headed towards the tunnels with Elias in tow. Towards the outside world. There had to be something left, something he could change. If he really wasn’t meant to fix this situation, it was cosmically unfair that he was left alive to witness it.

"Wait-" Martin called out, "Wait, I have questions."

The Archivist came to a dead halt. When it turned back to him, Martin saw a look of greedy joy on its face - Jon's face - that made his stomach turn.

Elias frowned. "We really don't have time for-"

"There is always time for questions," said the Archivist. "You will know everything, Martin Blackwood. Perhaps when you do, whatever you become will change its mind."

Martin knew that whatever was going to happen next would be very simple no matter what he did. If he found the right question to ask, something that only Jon could answer, he could save both of them. If he didn’t, he would doom the entire world to an apocalypse built on the corpse of the man he loved. Worse than that, he would probably be made to stick around and watch.

So he asked the Archivist if it loved him.

It smiled, and Martin knew that it did. It loved his curiosity, and his secrets. It loved him because he was a creature of delicate lies to be unraveled. He was both a challenge and an immensely beautiful prize. The Archivist's gaze clawed out from behind Martin's eyes, carving a space inside of him that longed to be filled with terrible power. It loved each hidden piece of him, and it would love him until it tore open the very last one and made him a part of itself.

It was not how Jon loved him.

"I can show you that, too," said the Archivist. Its voice was eager, insistent. It knew how close Martin was to breaking. He couldn't afford another question, not one that had an answer like that. "Do you want to know how he loves you?"

Hearing it said out loud like that brought Martin back to some semblance of reality. The Archivist's answer had washed away all sense of where and when and who he was, and it was a struggle to center himself in the basement again. This was something to focus on in the endless noise. He loves you, he thought, He loves you, he could not stop thinking. Not ‘loved.’ ‘Loves.’ Jon was alive, and he needed him. He focused on those words, drawing them away from the Archivist, making them his own. He memorized the lines of Jon's face across from his. He watched Elias grow clearly and substantially worried as he opened his mouth to respond.

"I trust him."

The Archivist looked confused. "But... I can show you, you don't have to-"

"Do you trust me?" Martin interrupted.

The Archivist thought. It really did try to come up with an answer, and it did not seem to like what it found.

"That isn’t something I can do," it started to explain. Its voice was halting, empty of the power that had reverberated around the halls of the panopticon until this moment.

"That's not what I asked," Martin said sharply. It flinched, and it looked so much like Jon that Martin almost wanted to apologize. He tried to make himself angry rather than sad for it.

"Do you," he repeated, "Trust me?"

The Archivist hadn't been lying; it couldn't trust him. And yet, it did. It trusted Martin, and the only thing it had to show him for it was Jon. Martin was drowned again in a flood of answers, a barrage of memories and terrible secrets. For one brief, terrifying moment, he held everything that was Jonathan Sims in his hands. Take it, the Archivist's voice appeared to him, He will be yours, and you will be mine, and we will be forever.

"No," Martin insisted, "I want you to say it."

The Archivist could not. It found something inside itself that could.

"I trust you," said Jon.

[fiercemachines]

Just gonna RL ramble about my New Years resolutions and my new year, new me, while reflecting on what led me here. And yeah...  I got some stories to tell. There is a TW for mentions of depression and s**cide: if you’re not in the headspace to hear about that right now, please go ahead and pass this post by, I’ll understand. (and if you don’t want to read my long rambly rl stuff and just want more Sims, that’s fine too. This is mostly for me.) 

2020 was a terrible year for me, and not just for the most obvious reason why it was a terrible year for everyone. A lot of low points for me personally. Some of you already know the worst one, and another was someone who used to be a friend pretty much making my life miserable. Added to the stress of living through a pandemic and facing an uncertain future, I admit at times it was all too much.

As some of you know I’ve struggled with clinical depression for quite awhile. With help from a caring counselor, friends, and family, I’ve pulled through. Wow... those are words I had always hoped I’d say, but somehow never thought I would. It feels amazing to say them. I’ve come so far. The days where I was crying alone in my bathtub seem so far away.

Depression has been a battle for me. It’s torn my mind to shreds, left me a broken shell of a person, and threatened my relationships with those I love most. I can’t describe it adequately, because how can someone describe a feeling that is everything and nothing? I remember a quote from a Star Wars novel, likening a trauma to “being murdered, and surviving.”  How true it is. Depression is your mind waging war on you. You’ll never understand it unless you’ve lived it. For far too many, it becomes their tomb.

I’m fortunate. I’ve never entertained the thought of killing myself, but I have been in the deepest darkness of depression long enough to see how some people might feel it’s an option. Like there’s no way out. I’d never do it, but my head has been in that dark of a place and I’ve seen how easily your mind can turn to that. It seems so easy to give up when you’ve hit rock bottom. I’ve clung to life even in the darkness, but it could have been so much different. While the gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach has now been replaced with peace, and my sleepless nights have been filled with rest, it was a struggle to get to this point. One I couldn’t have done alone. 

Guys, I cannot express enough what a treasure therapy is. Never be ashamed to ask for help! A doctor who is there to listen, to understand, and to help is so valuable for those who are hurting. I hope deeply that if you’re reading this and you’re feeling like there’s no way out, that you realize there’s so much to live for and that there’s people willing and able to help! If nothing else, know that I know how you feel. I believe in you. Keep going. If there’s one person who doesn’t even know you willing to tell you that, trust me. There’s others.

I’ve learned the hard way that some of the most toxic people in your life can come disguised as “friends”. People you keep around even when you know they are leading you to ruin. I had such an encounter: a person who once called himself a friend and who started using me as a mental punching bag. It’s easy to say anything when it’s words on a screen, it takes a special kind of cowardice to taunt someone you can’t see. After awhile, I started to think... fuck this person. I don’t need that kind of drama in my life. We parted ways acrimoniously, but looking back at this scenario I am actually thankful it happened. There was a silver lining even in something bad: it was one less black mark in my life. A little less heaviness in my heart. In my book, that’s something to celebrate. I’ll take all the reasons to be of good cheer that I can get. The past is behind me.

2020 was my  annus horribilis. 2021 is another story. I’ve resolved to learn from my painful past and be the best I can be. I’ve crawled out of the hole, and I haven’t looked back. 

- Upping my exercise (one full hour, baby!!)

- 4L of water a day (can’t believe the energy I’ve had)

- Time to myself (I have a habit of saying yes too much. Sometimes no is ok)

- Better diet. (I’m vegan and eat well, but it could be better)

I’m not doing any of those things to fit an image, or anyone’s perception of how I should be. I’m doing it for the person who matters most: me. As a wise sage once said “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”.  I have underlying conditions that make this routine important for me to follow, as well. It’s not for everyone, and you do you when it comes to that sort of stuff. 

After the horrible time I had last year... I can’t believe the changes. I’ve got my focus back. My creativity is off the charts. I breathe better, and sleep easier. I’m ... happy. Life is actually bright. Do you know how long it’s taken me to say that? An. Entire. Year. And now, I’m to a point where I can say yes, I made it out of the rain. It’s so liberating. 

Don’t look at my story as a sad one. I don’t. I look at my life, and I see hope. Happiness. It was hard fought. I’ve cried myself to sleep many a night. Wondered it anything was worth it anymore. I’m telling you... it’s all worth it. The pain. The tears. The hard times. Because I got through them, and I’m looking at the other side. On the other side, there’s good times. Smiles. Friends. Love. Healing. Happiness! And if you’re reading this, and you can’t see the bright future ahead? It’s there, trust me. Don’t give up. Don’t quit. I believe in you. Keep going. 

This was all hard to write, but if my pain can help someone out there still suffering, then I’m happy. 

My words aren’t much, but maybe they will touch someone just as someone once did for me. I know you’re reading this. Thank you. I love you. 

[schrijverr]

No guests in Jons office

Set at the start of season one. There is a spider in Jons office when he comes into work, Jon is very afraid of spiders and freaks out. The rest is there and he tells them about his run in with a Leitner.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: spider and a panic attack, be safe kiddos

~~~~~~~~~~

Jonathan Sims had never liked spiders. They were gross and they made him uncomfortable. His fear for the spindly creatures had elevated from a mild discomfort to a panic attack after his encounter with Mr. Spider.

It had mellowed out slightly over the years, but that didn’t mean the fear was gone, so when Jon found a spider sitting on the side of his desk when he came into work one morning, he did the only thing that came to mind.

He screamed.

He had been running late that morning and missed the tube, which meant that the other were already there when it happened. Tim and Martin were out of their chairs and at his side within seconds, Sasha running after them from where she had been between the shelves.

Wide eyed and alert Tim asked: “What’s wrong, boss?” while he scanned the room.

With a shaky hand Jon pointed to the spider. Now that he had regained the ability to move again he quickly stumbled backwards in an attempt to get as far away from the spider as he could. Tim looked between him and the spider and raised a brow as he said: “Really, boss? Afraid of a tiny spider?”

In Jons opinion the spider in question was pretty large and every spider no matter how small was a spider too many. He didn’t say that though, instead opting to say: “Please, just kill it.”

“No.” Martin stepped in, “I can take it outside. The spider hasn’t done anything wrong, we shouldn’t kill it just for existing.”

Jon glared at him and told him: “It is inside, it belongs outside. Enough of a crime, kill it.”

Sasha picked Martins side and said: “Martin is right, Jon. You should be fine once it is gone, why care if it lives or dies?”

Tim nodded, also deciding to be in camp ‘the spider lives’ although Jon couldn’t decide if it was because he believed it or if he just wanted to mess with him.

He ignored it in favor of answering Sasha: “I care, because if it is dead it can’t come back. It’s already gotten in once, it knows the way. I don’t want it here, so please kill it. Now.”

The others were giving more arguments for why the spider should be taken outside, but Jon wasn’t listening. He wasn’t listening, because no one was moving to do something about the spider and it was just sitting there undisturbed. It could move at any moment. It could scuttle away and they wouldn’t be able to get it away and it would be there, but Jon wouldn’t be able to see it, but he would know that it was there. It would be there and able to strike at any moment and Jon wouldn’t be prepared and…

And he was breathing heavily, worrying himself into a panic attack.

He hadn’t had one since his first week at the Institute, but he couldn’t help it. This was the breaking point for him, apparently. He thought he had grown out of it, but the constant stress of his new position combined with the fear and the helplessness had pushed him over the edge.

His vision was blurring, but also hyper-focused on the spider. He couldn’t breathe and the room was too small. In the distance he heard voice that sounded familiar, but he couldn’t place them through the panicked haze.

He felt a hand on him, small, warm, Sasha. He almost calmed a bit, but then one of her bracelets tickled his arms and suddenly all he could feel was spiders crawling over his skin.

He jerked away and started to scratch and rub over his body in an attempt to get them off him. He didn’t care that his assistant were there and he didn’t care that he was ruining the professionalism he had built up so carefully. He just didn’t care. He didn’t care. He just wanted it to be over.

He wanted the spider dead and he wanted the crawling of his skin to stop, but most of all he wanted to be able to breathe again.

Gasping for air he collapsed to the ground and curled into himself as he tried not to look at the spider or anyone else there. It didn’t help with getting his breath in order and he felt like there was no room for his lungs to expand, but it was safer on the ground.

Safer curled into himself.

Because he felt a bit safer he could focus more on his surroundings. He heard a voice, male, Martin, he registered. Martin was talking to him. It was mostly meaningless words of comfort that glided over Jon and didn’t help, except maybe grounding him again. What really got his attention, however, was hearing Martin say: “It’s okay, Jon. Tim killed the spider. He’s gone. The spider is gone.”

He peaked out over his knees and with a soft and weak voice he asked: “Really? It’s, it’s gone?”

Martin nodded and smiled. “It’s gone. Just breathe, it’s all okay. Don’t worry.”

Slowly Jon got his breathing under control and after a few minutes he felt good enough to uncurl some more, although he didn’t try to get up from his sitting position.

Sasha had disappeared a few moments earlier, but she now returned with a big glass of water that she handed to him as she told him to take small sips. He did and it was quiet until Jon was about halfway through emptying the glass. Then Tim asked: “Want to tell us what that was all about, boss?”

Jon stared at the ground and took another sip, trying to ignore them.

It didn’t work. Martin was kneeling in his sight and he could see Sasha legs on one side and Tims outline by the door. He mumbled: “I don’t like spiders.”

“Why?” Tim asked and Sasha told him: “Let him calm down for a moment, before you interrogate him.”

“Yeah,” Martin agreed, “He’s probably exhausted right now.”

And Jon was, the adrenaline was wearing off and the tiredness was seeping into his bones. He blinked heavily and swayed a bit. He didn’t want to be tired, he still had a lot to do and there could be more spiders or they could’ve lied to him to get him to calm down. His throat tightened again and he had to make sure. Ignoring Martins protest he crawled to the door of his office and peered inside.

The spider was gone.

Where it had sat was now a dark brown stain. A small sense of security came over him and he carefully cataloged the entire office to make sure there weren’t any other spiders lingering. He let out a relieved sigh when he found nothing and turned back to the other who were watching him with different stages of confusion and concern written over their faces.

Slowly he got up, almost falling over before Martin caught him and steadied him. He shot him a grateful smile as he held on until he could stand on his own. Then he dusted himself off and politely said: “Thank you for removing the spider, lets all get back to work now.”

He was still exhausted and was planning to collapse on the couch once everyone was gone, which he hoped would be soon, since he was fighting to suppress a yawn that was threatening to crawl up his throat. He didn’t like that analogy and shuddered slightly, but he then got distracted by Tim, who demanded: “Oh no, you’re not glossing over this just like that.”

Jon frowned. He wanted to argue that he had a right to his privacy and that he didn’t need to explain a phobia if he didn’t want to, but that also seemed like a lot of work. Instead he opted for ignoring Tim and walking to his couch where he flopped down.

Tim cut of the indignant comment he was making about being ignored when Jon did that and just turned to Martin and Sasha with a bewildered expression. Martin gave him a sympathetic smile and said: “I think you can interrogate him once he has woken up again and gotten some rest.”

Looking back to Jon, he found Jon already asleep. He looked different without the worry lines and scowl, he looked young and vulnerable. A strange feeling crept up Tims spine as he realized Jon was much closer to his age than he initially thought. That he wasn’t weathered by age, but by stress.

He decided to let him rest and followed the other two back to their desk. Although not much work got done that morning as they all shot glances to the half open door of Jons office.

It was nearing lunch when Jon reemerged. He looked a bit better, less pale and more present. The heavy concern flowed out of the room as three pairs of shoulders relaxed.

Going for a more light and less interrogative tone Tim stood up and said: “Hey, boss, looking a bit better, I see. Are you alright?”

Jon tensed slightly as he answered: “Yes, I’m fine now, sorry for my earlier episode. I didn’t mean to alarm anyone, it was just unexpected that’s all.”

“No, don’t worry about it. We should be sorry for not listening to you and arguing about it for so long.” Sasha said, “Sorry we pushed you.”

“It’s alright, Sasha.” Jon assured her, “You didn’t know about this phobia of mine. You were just trying to do what you thought was right, I can hardly fault you for that.”

“Is it really just a phobia?” Tim asked, trying to get the conversation back on track, “Or did something happen to you? I know some arachnophobes, but I’ve never seen a reaction like that.”

Martin could see Jons muscles tighten and saw how he was retreating back into himself, so he decided to save him by saying: “You don’t have to answer, of course. We were just curious that’s all.”

Jon scanned all their faces, trying to find a reason to get angry, to shut them out and be able to forget. He only found genuine concern and curiosity, no malice.

He looked down and fiddled the hem of his shirt as he tried to find the words to explain this as short as possible. He swallowed once before he said: “When I was younger, around ten, I had a run in with a Leitner. It was called A Guest for Mr. Spider and if you read it, you would be compelled to knock on a door, I was about to knock when, I can’t recall his name, but he was a bit of a bully, decided to push me down and attempt to make fun of what I was reading. He read it and knocked in my place, I only saw two big hairy spindly legs pull him in. No one ever saw or heard from him again.”

A heavy silence fell over the Archives and when it dragged on Jon tried to defend himself: “It’s stupid, I know. It was probably-”

He got cut off by Tim, who said: “It’s not stupid.”, he knew how uncomfortable he still got around clowns, he couldn’t imagine how he would be if he had gone through that as a child, “It’s not.” he said again.

Martin and Sasha quickly backed him up in assuring Jon that his little freak out about the spider was completely normal and nothing to be ashamed off. Jon relaxed bit by bit until he smiled slightly and thanked them once again for getting rid of the spider and apologizing once more for the entire thing.

After that they all wordlessly agreed to never speak of it again and without telling Jon the other three tried to remove spiders from the Archive sneakily. It was in vain, of course, but for now the Web didn’t mind that much. It still had enough eyes on the place.

[simlicious]

Hellouuu

Heya, what’s up? You might want to know what I have been up to lately? I am pretty quiet on the blogging front, I know... I am more focused now on my therapy, getting to grips with the presence of Covid-19 and working on getting my fears of it in check so I can work on my other fears, setting up some things in motion for getting on the career path eventually, and figuring out some things about who I am and how I want to be (changing up my wardrobe/style, reading up on how to be more in-tune with yourself) and game-wise, I currently really enjoy going back to past games I played and replaying them. I also dabble in modding a bit for Subnautica, wich is one of my favorite games ever, but since I cannot really code (I kinda would like to), I am just doing some personal edits of other mods, changing some config files and use the means other modders made possible for non-coders to add some items and recipes to the game. It is still creative and a lot of fun :) I also tried out a thing or two with some sims 3 patterns, but it is too early to say much about it yet and I do not want to promise anything, because my interests are all over the place right now. A book review coming up I am in a good mood today - I feel another creative phase is coming up. In fact, I know, because I read this book, The Optimized Woman, by Miranda Gray - it is really insightful for people who menstruate. A bit on the spiritual side, but you can extract quite a lot of helpful things form the book. I found the four menstrual phases in general really helpful in finding out how my energy, mood and abilities change throughout the month. Basically, Miranda suggests that there are four different phases people who menstruate go through every month. If they understand what is happening in each phase, people who menstruate can better tap into the potential each phase brings. Hormonal changes in their bodies also affect emotions, energy levels and cognitive abilities. But if they are aware of how they change throughout the month, they can use this to their advantage and use the things they are especially good at/that come easily to them at a certain phase and work in harmony with the phases instead of trying to be consistently good at something that is harder in some weeks of the menstrual cycle than in others. Is this book for you? I think it is a very unique concept that I have not come across before, but it really helps me understand myself better and I feel like there is some truth to it now that I have paid more attention to what is happening throughout my cycle. If you are person who menstruates and you are sometimes frustrated throughout the month and feel you lack energy, or find you are not “consistent”, maybe you want to tackle a project but struggle with it because you sometimes lose the vision you had for it and sometimes get a lot done but in other times are really doubting yourself and lose focus, or if you just want to feel more at ease and like to plan things ahead of time, you may want to give it a read. If you need scientific proof of everything and are not at all a spiritual person, you might skip reading it. I think the book should not be taken entirely literally, and the contents of the detailed planning steps that can be found throughout the book are meant as an example, not as a cookie-cutter thing. It is more the overall concept of it that is important in my opinion. You need to do the work yourself, analyse your cycle and figure out how those things apply to you specifically, but then it can be a very powerful and useful tool. What did the book do for me? For a few years now I have noticed that I do a lot of things in phases. My hobbies change periodically, my creativity seems to be present and fade and suddenly returns again, sometimes I just understand other people so well and can reach out and teach and really give something to others, sometimes I have no energy and only want to be left alone and do things to “recharge my batteries”. But I never before searched for a connection or looked for consistency on how those phases come and go. The book helped me to take an analytical approach to it and I can make much better sense of it all. I’m really glad I found this book! I look foward to seeing where my creative energy takes me this week!