#I pretend things are okay when they start going downhill and then I’m suddenly like shit

[philsmeatylegss]

X

[your-unfriendlyghost]

I have two things to ask:

1.-Can we be friends?

2.-Do you have any Outsiders headcanons (or any that you haven't submitted yet)?

I mean sure?? Idk who you are since you’re on anon, so not REALLY, but I’m always down to talk!

2. Yeah lol- tons. Too many. Here’s a few (okay like 25 oops) off the top of my head lol, some serious/angsty and some lighthearted/kinda stupid without any real order. (Lotta ‘em are about Steve tbh -there’s so little to him in canon that I have the freedom to hc pretty much whatever I want)

Steve Randle’s nearsighted and has no idea, which is why he’s literally always squinting. (I’ve had that one for like months but only recently mentioned it on here lol.) Steve thinks his vision is completely normal

Dally and Sylvia genuinely cared for each other, but they were both so horrible at having healthy emotions that they just made each other worse. In a bad way, not a fun way.

When Steve gets kicked out, sometimes he hangs with Johnny in the lot. They don’t really talk about anything important like their shared experiences of having lousy parents. Instead they talk about cars, girls, music, school…lighthearted stuff. Sometimes Johnny will find Steve crying, which he never mentions- he’ll just sit down as per usual, which Steve appreciates. Steve almost never finds Johnny crying though. Johnny doesn’t cry much.

Okay tangent- I love how Steve and Johnny are low-key foils. Like Steve always seems tough but then cries when pushed to his limit, while Johnny always seems skittish until he’s under a bunch of pressure- in which case he suddenly is confident. (Not necessarily thriving obviously, but confident yk? Like grinning while saving those kids in the fire.) I know SE Hinton probably didn’t intend that at all, but it’s just such an interesting detail to me. One of these days I’ll put it into words better

Johnny’s jeans-jacket is a hand-me-down from either Steve or Two-Bit. (I can’t decide which lol) (obviously Dally would make sense too, but honestly I think it’d add more depth to flesh out Johnny’s relationships with the other members of the gang)

After the events of the book, Two-Bit starts hanging around the Curtis’s place even more. At first the gang assumes he’s trying to lighten the mood. It’s only after he gets sent to the cooler for a month due to drunk driving that they realize he was actually hanging around so much because he was trying to keep his kid sister from seeing him so drunk…

Two-Bit likes to joke that he keeps failing junior year so that him and his sister can graduate together. Which is a very bad idea since his sister is a year younger than Ponyboy.

Sodapop often feels like he’s only good for looking pretty and not all that useful or interesting otherwise. He likes himself, but when he stops to think about it too much, he starts to wonder if he really has anything going for him at all

My H/C for Steve’s home life is that his Mom is sick w/ like cancer or something. Before she got sick, Steve’s life was pretty alright for an eastsider- he and his dad fought, but they always made up for the most part. They weren’t perfect, but they loved each other. But after she got sick, she wasn’t there to mediate between Steve and his Dad anymore, and the fighting got worse and worse. And then Steve’s dad started drinking more and it was pretty downhill from there. Steve’s Dad still loves him, but sometimes Steve wishes that he didn’t. If he didn’t, then he could hate him. But his dad does love him, so he can’t get himself to.

Steve and Dally taught Johnny to drive when they were all like fourteen-fifteen-ish. Johnny is a very reckless driver. He loves speeding.

Johnny also loves fast roller coasters and stuff.

Dally doesn't ‘cuz he’s low-key scared of heights- he likes riding broncos and rodeos, but put him at the top of a roller coaster and he’s convinced that it’s gonna break and he’s gonna die. He pretends he doesn’t mind. The only people who know he’s scared of them are Johnny, and before she died, Mrs. Curtis.

Steve has a napoleon complex. Johnny, who is shorter than him by a few inches, likes to bully him for it sometimes

Ponyboy and Cherry don’t interact much in the school year after the book, but in the summer after, they start to hang out. Eventually they become pretty close. They fangirl over Paul Newman together

Ponyboy still doesn’t let Cherry read his theme though until years later

Marcia and Two-Bit re-meet a few months after the book. (Two-Bit is really scared that she’s embarrassed to be dating him, and Marcia is really scared that he’s embarrassed to be dating her. Neither of them are embarrassed. They both adore each other.)

Two-Bit likes to watch Marcia barrel racing. One time while he’s there, he runs into Ponyboy watching Cherry barrel race and immediately tells everyone much to Pony’s chagrin

Evie knows a little bit about cars, and she sometimes helps out at the DX during summers. Steve is so whipped for her lol (and Soda too Steve has two hands)

Evie and Sylvia are besties, but Steve and Sylvia hate each other. They act civil in front of Evie, but as soon as her back is turned they’re growling at each other like dogs. (Well Steve is. Sylvia just acts condescending as hell. Sometimes it goes over his head, so Steve knows she’s insulting him but isn’t sure what the insult is/means. Which makes Steve kinda want to kill her.)

Steve and Soda are low-key co-dependent. (Steve more so- Soda has his family at least, while to Steve, Soda and Evie are his whole world pretty much) It’s probably not super healthy, and both of them are vaguely aware of that, but are trying not to think about it too hard rn

Ponyboy’s friend group in high school consists of Curly Shepard, Mark Jennings, Scout Jenkins (from the tv show), and eventually, in her senior year, Cherry Valance. (There’s others too but those are the main ones.)

Pony dates Cathy Carlson for a while too, idk if they’re good for each other or not- I kinda like the idea of them being a sweet couple tbh, but no one else on here seems to care about them so I haven’t really explored the idea much lol

In a Dally lives au, Mark Jennings and Dally end up spending a bit of time together through Pony, and at some point they realize that they’re half-brothers lol. Mark is a deeply obnoxious little brother to have, and he drives Dally nuts on purpose. Weirdly I think Dally’s a relatively good influence on him, as much as someone like Dally can be. And Dally does care for Mark, though not as much as he cares for Johnny- Mark is, in his head, not exactly his responsibility.

Well I have (so many) more, but I think that’s enough for now lol. Point is, even though I haven’t drawn in a minute, I love these characters and their romanticized version of 1960s Tulsa so much and I think about them way too often lol

(dw once i get more into the swing of school I’ll be doin more art!)

[trilliastra]

[*drops a sterek fic after two years and runs away to hide*]

-

It’s all Cora’s fault and Derek will remain of the opinion that his life only went downhill the moment his little sister was born.

It starts with Sara, his sister’s friend, whose boyfriend turned out to be a jerk and would not let her inside his apartment to collect her things unless she took him back. And Cora volunteered Derek to help.

Derek didn’t really mind it at first, Sara only needed a guy to look strong (which he is), angry (which he was) and able to carry her stuff from place a to place b (which he did). But some weeks later Sara met a friend with an equally stupid boyfriend and said friend had another friend and then Laura heard about it and it suddenly became a thing.

Georgia, Nelly, Carmen, Lola.

Isaac.

“I could help, you know?” Derek had said after the fifth time he noticed the blossoming purple bruises on the back of Isaac’s neck, his scrapped knuckles. “If you need to get rid of your –” he lowered his voice, “boyfriend.”

Isaac had looked at him, wide eyed, before he confessed he isn’t gay and the problem was actually his dad. “Oh,” Derek had said, thinking for a moment before adding, “I could help with that, too.”

Turns out Derek’s intimidation skills were lacking when compared to his own father’s.

-

“You’re doing a really nice thing, Derek.” Isaac says one night, helping him with his hand. Asshole boyfriend of the night thought he could bag a few punches before letting Phill grab his laptop back. Derek was faster, and stronger.

Isaac moved in with him and Boyd two weeks after his dad was sentenced. He didn’t want to, at first, was still incredibly shy and scared of everything, including Derek, but he opened up to Boyd pretty quickly. Despite his built (and the fact he can bench press three times his own weight), Boyd is the softest person Derek has ever met.

“Sure.” Derek sighs.

“But?” He asks and Derek sighs again, looks away when Boyd walks into the room.

“I had a date.” Derek confesses and Boyd whistles in sympathy.

“How many times has it been, again?”

“Three.” Derek winces when Isaac presses the antiseptic over the cut. “I’m – I really like him.”

“You could just tell him.” Isaac says. “He’s a cool guy, I guess.” He shrugs, smiling. “Sometimes he’s an asshole. But not in a bad way.”

Derek huffs out a laugh. “Yeah.”

Stiles is an asshole, he likes teasing Derek when they are discussing ethics in the workplace and every way capitalism is stepping over immigrants, they banter and they quote books back and forth and while some people (his sisters) roll their eyes when Derek brings up some history fact, Stiles nods along, brings up another history fact that Derek didn’t know (or sometimes pretends not to know, just to hear Stiles talking about it), hands moving around as he explains his point or badmouths a historic figure that owned so much money ‘their great-great-grandkids are still swimming in the gold they stole from the natives’.

Derek is in love.

“What did you tell him this time?” Boyd asks, munching on his chips. He shakes the bag in front of them and while Derek takes a couple, Isaac shakes his head, still not used to being allowed good things.

Some memories are hard to forget.

“That my mom had stopped by to visit.” Derek says. He hates lying, he is not even good at it. The first time he tried to tell Stiles he looked like a wet cat after he got caught up in the rain, white shirt sticking to his chest, Derek’s cheeks had gotten so red, Stiles asked him if he was okay.

“Dude.” Isaac says, shaking his head in disappointment as he finishes bandaging Derek’s hand.

“I know.” Derek gives back, collapsing on his bed with a groan.

This is all Cora’s fault.

-

Okay. Stiles texts back when Derek has to postpone their date again. Derek can feel the disappointment through the message, mirroring his own feelings.

How about tomorrow night? Derek tries, stares at his phone for minutes until he realizes Stiles probably won’t text him back.

-

“Please.” Maria says, holding her cat with a bright smile as they talk in front of a coffee shop. She is trying to convince him to accept a coffee and Derek is trying to convince her he doesn’t need it. “How can I thank you?”

Derek sighs. “I didn’t do anything.” And it is true, her boyfriend wasn’t working when they arrived at the coffee shop and when they opened the door of the apartment upstairs, it was empty save for the cat that Maria is currently hugging.

“You were there for me.” She smiles, tucking her hair behind her ear and Derek already knows what’s coming.

It’s not the first time, probably won’t be the last. He has been invited for ‘thank you’ coffees, dinners, sex. It never felt right, though. Not with the guys, and especially not with the girls.

Sorry. He always says. Some of them are attractive, he supposes, but he was, and still is, very much gay.

“I’m—” he starts, but Maria’s eyes widen and when Derek turns around, a guy is stalking towards them, eyebrows furrowed in anger.

“You bitch!” He shouts, startling most of the costumers inside and the shop and the people walking around the street. “What are you doing?”

“Taking my cat back!” She yells back and Derek steps closer, eyeing the guy’s fists as he starts to shake with anger.

The guy notices his move and turns his glare to him. “And who the fuck are you?”

Before Derek can answer, Maria chimes in. “My boyfriend.”

“What the fuck?” It takes Derek a second to realize the words didn’t come from him, but from someone in the crowd, one of the onlookers that gathered around them to watch the scene unfold.

Two seconds after that, Derek realizes the person talking was Stiles.

-

That explains a lot. It’s the last message Stiles sends him before blocking his number.

Derek tries to call, talk to him after class, but his friends keep him away, Lydia going as far as brandishing a can of pepper spray in front of him, eyes shining with an unspoken threat.

“You should follow him to his dorm.” Isaac offers, weakly.

“Creeps do that.” Derek says. “I don’t want to be more of an asshole than I already am.”

“You’re not an asshole.” Isaac says, clasping his shoulder in sympathy. “I could �� talk to him? If you want?” The offer makes Derek smile, touched. Isaac is still extremely shy in front of strangers, but just the fact that he considered doing it for him is enough.

“It’s fine.” Derek says. It isn’t fine, and they both know it, but he will pull through. Eventually. “It wasn’t meant to be.”

-

It’s harder that Derek anticipated, seeing Stiles during classes and not being able to talk to him, to tease him when Mrs. Schilder glares at him for using a pun that makes the entire room burst out laughing from second-hand embarrassment.

He is beautiful, Derek thinks at least ten times a day, and smart and kind and funny and Derek could see them being together for a long time, falling deeper in love as the time passes.

He should be used to not having good things. He grew up as a middle child, as a gay teenager in a small town where some boys were so far deep in the closet, they couldn’t find their way out, he should be used to not keeping the things he likes.

So why does it hurt so much?

-

“Derek—”

“No.”

“She needs—”

“Call someone else.”

“You are really going to leave her—”

Derek slams his book shut, kicks his chair back as he stands up. Cora’s eyes widen when someone tells him to be quiet and Derek simply ignores them. “I need to study for a test. Call someone else.”

Helping someone should feel good, it should make him happy, not feel like a burden. He is more than an angry guy with a strong body. He doesn’t even like confrontation. He started working out to burn his energy, to let out some of this anger that he’s been constantly carrying inside and he kept working out because he enjoyed it and now – now even that is ruined.

“Why are you being so selfish?” She asks and Derek knows, deep inside, that she doesn’t mean it like that, that she’s just as angry as him, humiliated by the fact he’s calling her out in the middle of the library. Still, that doesn’t matter now. Now, Derek is angry and sad and done.

“Fuck you.” He says and walks away.

-

His initial plan was to make it to his apartment, bury himself under the covers and not leave his room until his mother comes to give him an earful. Because she will, undoubtedly, when Cora tells her about it.

But Derek doesn’t make it to his apartment, he doesn’t even make it outside the library, simply makes a u-turn and heads for the dark zone, a space under the stairs leading to the storeroom where couples usually go to make out. There, he collapses on the ground, taking deep breaths, and buries his face in his hands.

This has been a long time coming, he thinks. He’s been on the edge for a while. This entire experience has made him remember how awful it was to pretend to be someone he wasn’t, to be only liked for his body or for his ability to pass the answers to the test without the teacher seeing him.

Some memories are hard to forget.

“Are you okay?” Derek flinches, surprised to hear Stiles’ voice. “Oh,” Stiles whispers, noticing Derek’s red eyes, the tears streaming down his face, “bad day, huh?”

“She was not my girlfriend.” Derek blurts out, head a mess of emotions: fear, anger, loneliness, regret.

“Dude,” Stiles frowns, confused, “I know Cora is your sister.”

“No.” Derek shakes his head, frantic. “The other day, at the coffee shop. I was helping her with her ex-boyfriend, I do that sometimes. He— he was an asshole and she needed help getting her cat back and I look strong and I know how to –”

“Woah, woah, slow down.” Stiles raises his hands, alarmed, and Derek realizes his own hands are shaking and he can’t breathe. “In and out,” Stiles whispers, “can I—can I touch you?”

Derek shakes his head, focusing on his breath. Panic attack, he remembers, suffocating. No touching. “Okay,” Stiles agrees, easily, “should I keep talking?” Derek shakes his head again, keeps his eyes on his hands. Talking is too much, listening is too much, breathing is too much. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No.” Derek manages to gasp. He doesn’t want to be alone.

Stiles nods, leans against the wall next to Derek and starts fiddling with his shoelaces, twirling them around wordlessly. Derek doesn’t know how much time it passes, but he keeps watching Stiles’ fingers moving distractedly, patiently waiting for him. With him.

“I’m sorry.” Derek manages to say, eventually.

Stiles sighs. “I know.” He closes his own eyes before turning to Derek. “You don’t have to explain.”

“I—” Derek swallows heavily, “have to.” He answers, before shaking his head. No, that doesn’t sound right, “no, I—I want to.”

-

They leave the library together, Stiles standing up first and offering his hand to help Derek up. Stiles doesn’t let go as they walk towards Derek’s apartment, squeezes his hand from time to time as Derek tells him about everything.

“You could have told me.” Stiles notes.

“I don’t know why I didn’t.” Derek confesses. “I guess I didn’t want you to see me as that guy too. Beefy Derek.” He laughs, humorless. “That’s the nickname my sister came up with a few months ago.”

Stiles groans, stops walking, forcing Derek to stop as well. “You are so much more than that.” He assures, touching Derek’s face softly though his eyes shine with certainty. “I love your brain, your cute jokes, the fact that you get my stupid history facts because you like history just as much as I do, and especially the way you care so much. College, people, the world.” He pulls him in for a quick, assertive kiss, and Derek immediately feels so light he could fly. But he won’t, because Stiles is keeping him grounded by the softest touch, the smallest smile.

“Cute jokes?” He manages to ask, arching an eyebrow. When Stiles laughs, he smiles.

“They are.” He insists.

“Okay.” Derek accepts the words easily, because everything seems easy when it comes to Stiles. “If I ask you out on a new date,” he says, “will Lydia pepper spray me?”

“I will stop her.” Stiles reassures, squeezing his hand again. “But before,” he adds and Derek feels his stomach turning with anticipation, “you have to know that I kind of hate your sister right now.”

“Oh.” Derek says. “Okay, I can—I can see that.”

“I’m sorry.” Stiles says, though he doesn’t sound sorry at all.

“Me too.” Derek agrees.

-

When Derek tells him about Cora’s apology and the earful his sister got from their mom, Stiles excuses himself to go laugh in the bathroom while Derek shrugs and goes back to eating his share of the pizza.

By the time they get married, Stiles and Cora have become best friends. Derek hates it (he doesn’t).

[secretlittlerandezvous]

Better Off - Frederik Andersen

Summary: After another fight the couple grows distant. Frederik ends up regretting his words once he realizes there are things only Y/n can do for him.

Words: 2229

“…and the only thing they hear is each other, though no one is saying a word.” - Stig Dagerman

Even the happiest marriages, the most comfortable relationships, and most loyal friendships have their bad days. Even the couples who seem to be madly in love, always happy, and genuinely satisfied in their relationships could fight like the biggest enemies. Both Y/n and Frederik knew that things couldn’t always be good, they had their ups and downs, arguments, and they both said things they later regretted but they never expected to get into a situation they were now in.

It started about a month ago when the new season started. Frederik was thrilled for the new season, relieved they could return to somewhat normal life and Y/n thought she was excited as well but quickly learned it wasn’t the case. Over the seven years of their relationship, two years as a married couple she got used to the lifestyle and the chaos of living with an NHL's goalie. To a certain degree, she even enjoyed the days he was away, and she had time only for herself. But things changed drastically during the lockdown. Y/n started to enjoy having him home all the time and she caught herself wishing for a more traditional life with regular 9:5 jobs. When the new season started she noticed how lonely she felt when he was away and how she missed him more than she used to and it saddened her when on his free days he chose gym or his teammates over her.

Frederik was oblivious to his wife’s feelings in the beginning. After seven years, he didn’t think it was necessary to reassure himself she was okay with him being busy because he knew she was understanding and supportive of him and his career. And after all, she never complained about it anyway. He knew she liked her alone time and being apart worked for them because it made their relationship stronger and they never fell into a stereotype like so many of the couples they knew. He was in an excellent mood, in even better form and because he liked to work on himself he wanted to make up for the time he couldn’t practice so he spent an extra time working out and at the ice rink. Frederik and not only him but also his teammates were so happy to be back that they were busy with hockey and hanging out and Frederik didn’t even notice he made no time for Y/n. The third time he stood her up on a date she let him know how she felt and ever since that day it was all going downhill. At first, he tried to be with her but as if it wasn’t meant to be something always came up which only made Y/n feel worse and it made Frederik more and more frustrated. Eventually, they didn’t even try to spend time together and they drowned in their emotions.

“All you do is whine! Can you even imagine how annoying it is to listen to your never-ending whining and complaining?” He yelled at her out of frustration.

“Oh my god, I don’t care! If you were home a little more often then maybe I wouldn’t have to complain about it.” She yelled right back at him.

“You’re getting repetitive. I don’t remember hearing anything else from you other than this. I’m not at home because then I have to listen to you and I’d rather talk to the wall than to you! I’m better off without you anyway.”

Once he was done talking Y/n looked at him in pure shock and pain, she was speechless and surprised by his words and she didn’t have the energy to fight back. Everything that was said was enough, he made it clear and she wasn’t going to embarrass herself even more. Maybe she was irrational at times but all she wanted was a little more understanding from her husband but now she knew she wasn’t gonna get it.

“Fine,” she said quietly and left him alone in the living room while she locked herself in the bedroom so she could cry and think about it at peace.

Frederik regretted his words the moment he said them out loud. What he said wasn’t true or at least not fully because although he was tired of the fighting, he never dared to wish to get rid of her, to be without her. But he wanted to hurt her because the remorse he felt after every word she told him, after she expressed the pain, he caused made him act like a completely different person. But soon the remorse was replaced by anger. It wasn’t his fault she didn’t communicate with him better, it wasn’t his fault she didn’t tell him in the beginning how she felt, and it wasn’t him who argued about everything. Sure, he knew he played his part in this but there was no way he would take all the blame.

The days passed slowly and each day it got harder to handle the situation. Even the neighbors sensed the tension between the married couple, his teammates knew something was wrong because he was acting strangely but he never told them why, Y/n’s closest friend knew what was going on but Y/n didn’t want to talk about it because it only made things worse. The couple avoided each other at all costs, they slept in different rooms, ate at different times, and didn’t speak a single word. It was like living with a stranger, suddenly they stopped sharing their lives with each other and they lived individually as if they weren’t married.

Y/n continued living her life as if nothing was going on. She woke up every morning at 5:30, made herself breakfast and she was at work by 7. After work, she either hang out with her friends, did some grocery shopping, or went straight home where she hid in the bedroom. On the days Frederik wasn’t home she cooked a dinner and ate it before he returned, on the days he was home she waited until he left for the game and cooked then and every night she left a plate for him in the kitchen just in case he didn’t eat that day. Although she tried to act like she didn’t care about him since her ego was hurt by his words, she still wanted to make sure he was okay. And a part of her hoped he would soon realize how wrong he was. Mostly she hoped he would start missing her and that it would inspire him to make the first step to work things out. Every game night Y/n watched the game and rooted and cheered for her husband and felt proud of him no matter how angry she was. But the more time she spent alone the more she thought, and it only made her realize Frederik wasn’t the one to be blamed. Y/n knew he was doing his best, but she never appreciated it. Oh god, of course, he did his best, he loved her, and he didn’t mean what he said. She knew it but her stubbornness didn’t let her go to him and apologize for her behavior. Every time she was ready to go to him something told her she still deserved more time and attention from her husband.

Every night when Frederik returned home, he felt uncomfortable. Their home felt empty and cold without her waiting for him and he felt like a stranger in his own home. It was equally theirs, everything belonged to them both but now he couldn’t help but think it was now more Y/n’s than his because she was the one who turned the apartment into a home. Every night he found washed dishes in the kitchen and he never hesitated and put everything where it belonged so she wouldn’t have to do it the next day. Every night there was a dinner waiting for him and he ate it happily because it gave him a sign, she still cared about him. Every night he saw a light in their bedroom and as he passed by it, he fought a terrible urge to go inside and go to his wife. It was unbelievably hard to sleep in the guest room when Y/n was so close and he wanted nothing more than to hug his wife and kiss her goodnight but he thought sleeping in a different room was necessary and that giving her time was the right thing to do.

And in their stubbornness, they continued living like this for a few more days.

One night Frederik returned home broken and devastated after their biggest loss of the season. The Leafs lost 1:8 to Bruins and even though everyone tried to be nice to him and reassured him it wasn’t only his fault he knew they were lying. This loss was on him. He was horrible, he couldn’t focus on the game and for the most part, he didn’t even care. He returned home and wanted nothing more than to hug Y/n and be held by her because she was the only one who could calm him down, cheer him up, and bring back his confidence. Normally she would be at the game or at least waiting for him with her arms open but that night he once again returned to an empty apartment. He saw the light from their bedroom, and he heard a tv playing and for a moment he believed she watched the game and saw how terrible he was. He left his bag in the hall and went straight to the living room where he lay down on the couch and regretted everything he’s done in the past few days. He was afraid to check his phone or turn on the tv because he knew everyone would talk about how badly he played, he trembled from anxiety and he wanted to force himself to go to her but shame didn’t let him ask her for help.

Y/n impatiently waited for Frederik to come back home. She watched the game and cried when she saw how much he struggled that evening and she knew how sad he was going to be. Her heart skipped a few beats when she heard the front door open and close behind him and she didn’t know what to do. Her pride told her not to go to him and pretend to be asleep and to let him deal with it alone since he’d rather talk to a wall. But the bigger side of her, the side of her that loved her husband endlessly wanted to go to him and make sure he was going to be okay.

Twenty minutes later when it almost drove them both crazy, they stood up at the same time ready to make the first move. Frederik found the courage to apologize and headed to the bedroom hoping she wasn’t asleep, and Y/n got out of bed and headed to the living room to ask Frederik how he felt. They met midway and without thinking, Y/n ran to him and jumped into his arms and he held her as close to his body as was possible and immediately felt much better. He slowly carried her to their bedroom where they lay on the bed in silence for a while before they found the right words to say.

“I watched the game,” she spoke softly. “Is it stupid to ask you how are you feeling?” She said with almost an unheard chuckle.

“I feel terrible,” he admitted. “And all I wanted all night was to get home to you because you’re the only one who can calm me down.”

“I’m so sorry Freddie, for everything,” Y/n whispered and came closer to him, he hugged her tightly and rested his head on her shoulder and stroked her hand which helped him to calm down even more. “I felt really lonely because I loved being with you all the time and I liked the idea of having the ordinary and boring life everyone else has. But now I know I wouldn’t trade it for anything because this is our life, this is who we are, and I love it that way.”

Frederik relaxed under Y/n’s touch, he forgot all about the game and he felt ready to face the consequences the following day. He felt more secure now when he knew she had his back and he couldn’t even remember what caused the issues between them or how he could ever tell her he was better off alone without her. “I regret what I said because it’s completely nonsense. I’m useless without you.”

“You most definitely are,” she joked to ease up the situation. “We can forget about everything and try a little more to balance our private lives with our careers. And I promise not to complain when you’re busy.”

“I’d like that,” he said smiling and kissed Y/n’s cheek. Just now he fully realized how much he missed this and how much he needed it. “You make my life easier Y/n.” He whispered into her ear.

The couple soon fell asleep in each other’s arms. It was the first time in almost two weeks they fell asleep with ease and feeling completely calm and happy.

[willow-tree-writes]

✾Bet {3}✾

JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: The good girl finally realizes the catch as to why such a bad boy would go for her. But the bad boy has a catch in his own heart and he can’t shake it or figure out why.

Request: N/A

Author’s Note: Merry Christmas! I’m so sorry this took so long! But I wanted to get it out today for all of you! And thank you so much for 100 followers! I’m thinking about making a prompt list, so if you have any ideas, I’d love to hear them.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Cursing, Angst

Part 1 ♥ Part 2  ♥

!I don’t own this gif!

“Put me down!” You laugh as you struggle in the arms of JJ.

He simply shook his head and spun around in a circle, effectively spinning you in a circle.

You caught a blob of yellow amidst the spinning, desperately trying to recall who you saw wearing that color today. “Kie! A little help please?”

You couldn’t see it, but Kie smiled and crossed her arms. “Sorry, Y/N, but I’m with JJ for this one. Goblet of Fire is not the best one.”

You groaned, giving up trying to get out of JJ’s arms.

JJ decided after a couple more dates that you should start hanging out with his friends. Today you were supposed to all go out on the HMS Pogue and have a day on the water, but a storm got in the way of that. So, instead, you were having a movie marathon.

You weren’t the kind of person to get sick when dizzy, but you also weren’t the kind of person that got this dizzy.

“JJ, please.” You begged with another laugh.

He eventually gave in, but it wasn’t right away. He spun you around maybe two or three more times before dropping you down on the coach with a thump.

“Is the argument over?” John B and Pope peeked their heads from behind a door, pretending to hide and be all scared. They actually had gone over there to grab some blankets.

Kie laughs and looks between you, who is motionless facing down on the couch, and JJ, who is standing over you. “For now.”

The two boys came over and tossed a couple blankets down on the couch. One of which fell right over and covered you.

You felt the blanket be pulled off. “Come on, Y/N. You’re hoggin’ the couch.”

“I’m one with the couch.”

You could tell he didn’t want to laugh at that, but cracked a smile nonetheless. “If you say so, couch.”

Slow and steady, like a turtle, JJ started to sit himself down on your back. He was going slow to let time for you to get up before he put his full body weight on you.

You weren’t budging.

You weren’t budging until he sat fully down, crossed his arms, and leaned back.

You were budging.

“Okay, okay. Please get off me! JJ!” Your voice was muffled by the cushions, but you weren’t that hard to hear.

He listened the first time with this and got up basically immediately. “Still one with the couch?” He pulled you up by your arms and made sure you were sitting up straight.

“That’s for me to know and you to figure out.” You sit back and cross your arms.

“Alright, alright. That’s enough bickering.” Pope cut in, sitting down next to Kie. John B and JJ both sat on their side of you. “Are we gonna watch the next movie now?”

Everyone collectively nodded their heads. 

As the title screen played out, your head drifted down to JJ’s shoulder. His arm wrapped around you almost instinctively. 

It was a moment like this that got you wondering why he chose you.

----

“He’s not gonna ask for a second date.” You shook your head before taking a sip from your milkshake. 

Di and Kelly looked at each other and rolled their eyes. “And why is that?”

You set down your drink on the table and got ready to start listing things. “I barely talked. He did a lot of it.” You were using your fingers to count your reasons. “He is probably one of, if not, the hottest guys at school, and I’m a potato. I have the personality of one too. I-”

Kelly cut you off before you could finish the overflowing list. “First one, perfectly normal. You’re shy. Second, you can be hot when you want to be. And third, your personality is amazing. He will see that once he gets to know you more.”

You groaned and took another sip of your shake. “Aren’t you supposed to be shopping with Mom?”

“You’re just saying that cause you know I’m right.” Kelly laughed.

Rolling your eyes, you repeat, “He’s not gonna ask for a second date.” This time, you were a little more certain of it.

Di sat up, as if getting an idea suddenly.

That idea was immediately forgotten when your phone chimed, signally a text.

Before you could make any more to grab it, Di had it in her hand and was looking at it.

“Come on, give me my phone.” You sighed, reaching for the device.

She made no move to hand it back to you as a smile grew on her face. “I think he’s asking for a second date.”

She turned your phone to face you, and there it was: a text from JJ asking when you were free next.

You normally would lie about this, but there were two people to witness it. It being the smile that stretched across your cheeks that made them hurt.

----

JJ took his eyes off the movie for a second to glance down at you. What was meant to be a quick look turned into a patient stare.

You had curled your hair for the day, but the rain made it just a complete mess. You were wearing one of his shirts, since your cover up didn’t cover much up when you got soaked. Everyone’s clothes had dried by now, but he could tell you were closer than usual for warmth.

He realized he was looking for a bit too long and quickly looked back to the movie.

Why did his gaze always seem to linger on you? It was just a bet. Why did he feel like smiling every time he caught even a glimpse of your face? It was just a bet. 

Why did his heart feel weird and different when her hand brushed his?

She’s not just a bet anymore.

----

“You gotta tell her the truth.” John B hit JJ on the shoulder as the hammock had swung close enough.

JJ sighed and threw his head back. “I know, I know. Geez. Just give it like a week more. Douchey will make his move, and you guys won’t be JJ-less for a day at a time.”

Kie rolled her eyes at JJ’s laxness with the subject. “That’s not why you need to tell her.”

“Come on, Kie. Don’t give me this bullshit again.” JJ got up off the hammock and grabbed a beer. “I’m not gonna hurt her.”

She shakes her head. “You will if she starts liking you.” 

No one considered JJ might start liking her.

“I’ll make sure it doesn’t get to that point.” JJ shrugged and got back on the hammock.

JJ didn’t consider JJ might start liking her.

“Dude, none of us took the bet for a reason - it’s fucked up.” John B tossed his second empty beer can over towards the trashcan Kie set out.

No one considered JJ felt bad for leading her on.

JJ groaned as Pope jumped in. “It’s not right to lead someone on like this.”

JJ didn’t consider JJ felt bad for leading her on.

“Look,” he got up once again. “I get it, okay? Gavin’s a fucked up dude for coming up with this idea. But I’m not gonna let it get too far. I’m gonna try and not do anything stupid to hurt anyone.”

----

JJ gave you a ride home. It might not have been the best idea - two teenagers riding on a motorbike in the rain - but it was better than walking.

When he got to your house, JJ tried to get as close to the front door as he could before hopping off. He gave you a hand to help you off before taking off his jacket and holding it above you two.

“Sorry this date went so fucking downhill.” He started walking with you to the door.

You laughed a little and shook your head, walking close to him. “It didn’t. I had a really nice time, just hanging out.”

You both stopped in front of the door. “Then I guess this could be a weekly thing, yeah?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You tried to dim down the smile on your face, but your cheeks were already starting to hurt. Going on your tippy toes, you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before turning and grabbing the door knob.

JJ’s hand on your shoulder stopped you. “Wait a second.”

You give him a playful sigh, turning to face him again dramatically. “JJ, if I stand out in the cold any longer, I’m gonna get sick.” You joke.

He smirked a little. “Then I can take care of you. You know, make you some nice, warm, chicken noodle soup.”

“JJ.” You laugh.

“Alright alright, I don’t know how to make soup. But I can try. And I’ll do a damn good job trying.”

You couldn’t help but laugh again. “What do you want?”

With a cocky smile, he said, “A proper kiss.” He stooped down to your level. “I’ll make it easier on you.”

You knew however you responded, he wasn’t going to let you go until he got what he wanted.

You bit your lip to pull away your smile before leaning in. “Only one,” you whisper before pressing your lips to his.

It felt like the first time, and you never wanted that to change.

He was the one who pulled away first, surprising you a little. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Red.”

“Wait, what?” You called out as he started to back away. You were confused as to why you would be seeing each other tomorrow, and why he called you red.

He chuckled a little, getting onto his motorbike. “There’s a kegger tomorrow. I better see you there.” 

Before you could object or ask anything else, JJ gave you a little wave and rode off to the Cut.

Why the hell did he call you ‘Red?’

----

You got out of the car just in time for it to speed off, not even waiting for the door to close.

“Your brother is kind of an ass.” You shake your head as you walk with Di the rest of the way to the boneyard.

She laughed a little and hooked her arm with yours. “You don’t need to tell me twice. Can’t wait for him to go off to college.”

You laugh and shake your head as you make it to the boneyard. The kegger was already in full swing. Not that you expected anything less.

Di nudged you a little. “So, are we gonna go talk to you boyfriend and all his friends?” 

You couldn’t help the blush that trailed up your neck and over your face and ears. You had yet to call each other ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend.�� “If you want…” You tried to shrug it off, but the damage had been down.

She practically squealed at your reaction and grabbed your hand to drag you over. “You’re too slow!”

You didn’t know whether to laugh or to roll your eyes. So you decided to laugh. Laugh, at least, until you bumped into someone’s back.

You heard Di start cracking up laughing beside you. “Good job, Y/N!”

Rolling your eyes slightly, you take a step back and look up at who you bumped into. “I’m so sorry.”

You vaguely recognized the guy before you. If you heard his name, you’d be like, “Oh, right.” Maybe it started with a G…

“Whatever.” He didn’t so much as look at you as he walked away.

“Rude…” You mumble, shaking your head.

Di grabbed your hand again and continued to drag you. “But hot af!”

You wanted to cringe. “You did not just say ‘af’ instead of ‘as fuck,’ did you?”

She laughed. “I did, and I won’t take it back.” She abruptly stopped and you almost smashed right into her back. Today apparently wasn’t your day. “Now introduce me!”

She nudged you forward as she whisper-yelled right in your ear. 

“Okay, okay.” You approached the five figures that Di stopped at. All their backs were turned to you, so you had to tap the boy in the center’s shoulder.

He spun around and a smile instantly spread across his face upon seeing you. It was a natural smile. “Hey, Red.” A smile he wouldn’t just give to anyone.

“Hi, JJ.” You still weren’t completely sure as to why he called you ‘Red.’ It didn’t make any sense.

“This,” you gesture to Di, who waves at everyone, “is my best friend, Di.”

Intros were done pretty quickly; everyone just said their name and started up a new conversation that involved the two girls.

It had maybe been half an hour when Sarah, a well known Kook and girlfriend to John B, JJ’s best friend, had pulled you off to the side. After, of course, JJ untangled himself from you (with much dismay).

“I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve talked.” Sarah started once you were a good distance away.

You laughed a little and nodded. “Yeah, about five years, I think.”

The two of you chit-chatted, just catching up with each other.

It hadn’t ever occurred to you that dating the JJ Maybank would be good for you. That he would get you to do new things. Meet and talk to new people. Just enjoy life like you should.

After a moment, something popped into your mind. “Oh! I’ll be right back, I need to ask JJ something.” He had done so much for you, you wanted to do a little something for him.

You walked up to the group, furrowing your eyebrows a little. “Where’s JJ?” You ask, noticing it was just John B, Pope, Kie, and Di talking.

The three Pogues looked between each other, as if they were trying to think of something to say.

“He went home.”

“He went to get another drink.”

“He’s in the water.”

They all spoke at the same time, and each answer made you even more confused. Something wasn’t right.

You take a quick glance around, noticing JJ a few feet away, talking to the guy you bump into earlier. You glance back at the group, feeling like your head was spinning. “He’s right there…”

Glancing at Di, she shrugs to you as you start your way over to the two.

“Y/N, wait!” Kie called out to stop you. “Don’t… Just wait for him to come back over.”

You turn and look at her. You had known Kie when you were younger, but kind of grew apart as you both changed. It was nice to connect with her again, but you couldn’t yet understand what went on in her head.

“I’ll just be quick.”

All the others seemed to want you to also stay, but you didn’t understand why. And if they weren’t going to tell you, you’d figure out yourself.

Both of their backs were turned to you, which you were a little surprised with. If this conversation was so important that you couldn’t interrupt it, they’d at least want to see if you were coming.

“Does $200 cover it?”

You knew listening in on conversations wasn’t the right thing to do, but you couldn’t help it.

“Dude, look-” JJ was trying to say something but the guy, maybe his name was Gavin, cut him off.

“We are so close. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

Gavin handed JJ something.

“I’ll give you a little more next time. Believe me, Y/N can be a bore.”

What? Why were you a part of this? And a bore?

“How much longer do you want me to do this?” There was something in JJ’s voice you couldn’t discern.

Gavin patted JJ on the back. “I know, I know, Y/N’s hard to date. But, if you can at least keep dating her for two weeks, I’ll triple your paycheck.”

What? 

“Gavin, I-”

“You’re dating me for money?”

The shock coursed through every part of you as you tried to comprehend what you heard, and even what you said.

Both boys turned around, JJ a little more quickly than Gavin.

“Y/N-”

You shook your head, taking a step back as he tried to get close to you. “I should have known....” You mumbled, trying to hold back the tears you felt reaching the peak of your eyes.

He reached out for you, but you didn’t want him to touch you. You did, but you didn’t. “I can explain.”

“I don’t wanna hear it.” You snap, letting a couple of tears out. “I actually thought you liked me…”

“Just listen, Y/N-”

“No!” You were a little louder than you had wanted to be, as unwanted eyes turned. “Fuck you, JJ. Enjoy your money. I hope it was worth it.”

You turned your back on him and just started to walk away. You didn’t care if anyone was trying to talk to you or stop you - you just wanted to get out of there.

Di came up beside you and hooked her arm in yours, repeating reassurances to you. They didn’t work.

JJ watched as you retreated.

The look on your face had broken something he didn’t think could be broken anymore. The shake of your voice and quiver of your lips sent him to a place he had been before, but was new to him.

He cleared his throat a little, looking towards his friends. The friends that tried to warn him. That tried to stop you from learning the truth too soon. The friends that gave him sympathetic looks that had a hint of disappointment.

“Damn, everything was going so well…” Gavin muttered, shaking his head. “If you can do some major accident repair, I’ll-”

JJ snapped his head to look at Gavin. “Shut up.” He spit, shaking his head. “Shut the fuck up.”

---- ----

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[alwaysbeliev]

Same as the Last

pairing: Arthur x Reader

summary: Mary Linton has summoned Arthur once again, and he has dropped everything to see her. You're left at Shady Belle to wonder what is going on and what it means for your relationship.

word count: 1,782

notes: you can find this on AO3 under the same username, if you wish to give it love there, too! it’s been a long time since i really got into writing, so i’m taking baby steps. it might be small, but i hope you enjoy it anyway!

Curse that Mary Linton.

Pacing, pacing, all you could do was pace. The others were getting tired of it. Mrs. Grimshaw had already given you several chores, all of which you completed at haphazard speed. The laundry was still dripping on the line, puddles forming underneath in the already soaked ground. It was gonna take a thousand years to dry. But you had other things on your mind.

“Is that from your secret lover?” you had teased Arthur earlier. A letter had arrived for him, brought from the post office by Pearson, and he had scarcely looked at it when you asked. He chuckled at your joke. But as he studied the writing and unfolded the paper, his smile fell, replaced with a strange mixing of emotions you couldn’t quite place.

“No, it’s…” His voice trailed off as his eyes scanned the words before him. 

“Arthur?” You tried peeking over his shoulder, but in a defensive move, he turned so you couldn’t see it. “Is everything okay?”

Your mind started racing as you wondered what it might be. As far as you were aware, the outlaw had no outside obligations. None of the gang did. Quickly, you started cycling through any recent or semi-recent events, wracking your brain for an answer, anything that might help solve this weird and uncomfortable puzzle. Maybe it was some kind of summons? You’d heard of the law issuing letters. But if that were the case, then the gang’s pseudonym at the post office was compromised. Was it related to unfinished business in Valentine? 

It suddenly clicked. Right as Arthur finished reading, you said, “Mary.”

“I, uh... “ At least he had the decency to look sheepish. He nodded.

Immediately, your mood had soured. And it had only gone downhill from there. The letter arrived this morning, Arthur had read it after breakfast, and offered it to you to read after he had finished. It was from Mary, alright. She was in Saint Denis, and, yet again, she was begging for Arthur’s help. You tried not to be angry, but you were. Mary was long before you and you knew that, and yet, you were still strangely jealous of her. Despite existing long before you in Arthur’s life, she was still receiving so much attention, so much of his time, so much of his… You couldn’t think of what it was exactly, but it was infuriating. 

And now, here you were. Mid-afternoon. Roaming aimlessly around Shady Belle, getting on everyone’s nerves. Pearson, who was usually one to nag those who were bored into helping prep the food, was avoiding you like the plague. You had taken to practicing your aim, your volcanic pistol in your hand, squinting at the glass bottles you had lined up on the end of the dock. It was cruel, but you imagined each one was Mary and Arthur. Bang! There goes the engagement ring. Bang! Their stupid faces kissing. Bang!

You jumped about a mile in the air as the last gunshot came from behind you. Whirling around, you found yourself face to face with Arthur, lowering his revolver. He was smiling, just a slight lift to the left side of his mouth, and he pretended to blow smoke from the barrel of his weapon, spinning it poorly around his finger before replacing it in his holster. He approached you with his thumbs hooked in his belt to admire his work. 

“Always were a strong shot,” he commented, nodding his head towards the bottles. 

“You’ve been doing this a long time,” you grumbled. Arthur chuckled.

“Not me, I was talkin’ about you.”

You could only half shrug. You didn’t want to look him in the eyes, though you knew he was searching for yours. He sighed deeply and shuffled his feet.

“Look, can we- Can we talk? I don’t want this to be turned into a, a big thing.”

Reluctantly, you lifted your eyes and met his. The look on his face was begging you to have pity on him, exposing a strange vulnerability you had been seeing more from him lately. It tugged at your heartstrings and you finally caved. You tossed your head back, staring at the sky for a second as you exhaled sharply, drawing strength from the clouds above you. 

“Fine.” 

With a flourish, you extended your arm in a sweeping, “Right this way” motion, indicating he lead the way to a quiet spot. He stared at you a moment before stepping past you, walking towards the house. You trailed behind him, your mind returning to its tumultuous state it had been in most of the day. He had been gone so long, the sun was starting to go down, painting the campsite in orange hues. What could he have been doing all day? Mary hadn’t said what was going on in her letter, just hinted at it. You had spent an hour looking over it and scouring it for information. Man, your stomach hurt from the anxiety.

The two of you ended up in your shared room on the upper floor of the former plantation home. Arthur had held the door open for you, and you found yourself unable to sit down. Behind you, Arthur tried to encourage you to sit, but you could only shake your head. He edged past you to take a seat instead.

For a long while, you just stared at each other. Arthur removed his hat and ran a hand through his hair. You couldn’t bring your mind to form any words for him. All the anger you had had that morning started to drain out of you at the sight of him. There was a sad air around him, something had happened, but you weren’t sure you wanted to hear what. He finally broke the gaze you had each other trapped in and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“How’s Mary?” Your voice finally broke the silence. You cut him off preemptively, scared of what he may have been about to say.

“She’s just fine,” he answered, apparently relieved to hear you speak. “So’s her father, the bastard.”

“It was about her father?”

“Yeah, no good asshole spending money he don’t even have.” The venom in Arthur’s voice made your skin crawl. It was easy to forget, in more tender moments, that he was an outlaw. The fire in his eyes lasted less than a second, however, rapidly replaced by the strange sadness from before. “He, uh… He tried to sell her mother’s brooch. For his.. Hell, I don’ even know, whatever he keeps spending money on. Same shit it’s always been.”

You were frozen, watching him carefully. He didn’t look up. Thinking there was more, you allowed the silence to continue, but the air was still heavy and you needed the weight off your chest.

“Was that all?” you finally asked. Your voice came out soft and fragile. You had your answer when Arthur turned his head upwards, the slightest guilty smile tugging on the corner of his mouth, and the churning feeling returned to your stomach. “Well, did you-- Did you kiss her?”

Arthur let out a bark of laughter. Suddenly, you felt very silly for even asking. 

“Darlin’, no,” he said. With a whoosh of air, your shoulders relaxed, and you even felt a smile approaching your own face. “I didn’t kiss her. But I’d be lyin’ if I said it hadn’t crossed my mind.” The tightness returned as quickly as it had left. Anger bubbled upwards, rushing hot to your head, and you opened your mouth to accuse him, but the look in his eyes registered: it was pain. Pain?

“Arthur,” you whispered, “what happened? Please tell me.” 

Making eye contact once again, the cowboy shifted on the bed and gestured for you to sit beside him, this time closer to a command than suggestion. Hesitantly, you joined him. Your hands were placed gingerly in your lap. He returned to his previous position, elbows on his knees, and he barely looked to you as he recounted everything that happened. He started with Mary shouting to him from the balcony, to their almost argument about the what-ifs of their past, through pursuing her father and chasing down the brooch. They had gone to the theater together. A date? And, finally…

“Mary… Mary asked me to run away with her.” 

The range of emotions running through your head was making you dizzy. Too much to process, too much to consider, so much anger at her, anxiety towards Arthur’s thoughts. You stared hard at your fingers, picking absentmindedly at a loose thread on your clothes. You wondered at what the conversation was like, what Arthur had said, what his expression had betrayed. Did Mary mean it? Was she truly still thinking about him all these years later? Would she ever stop trying to take him away?

“Say somethin’.” His gaze turned to you, the worry clear in his voice. His piercing blue eyes were burning into the side of your head. Without enough time to compose a kinder phrasing, you spluttered out the first thought you had.

“So why didn’t you?”

“Why--?” Arthur chuckled, a low rumble deep in his chest. Relief, you realized, was the cause for his sudden change of tone. “Mary has played me for a fool more times than I can count. We was just kids, then. We’re… Well, we’re grown now, things have changed. Besides, I love you too much to disappear like that.”

Every other thought left your mind. I love you. I love you. I love you… He had never said those words to you. They were spoken every day through action, sure, but out loud… They were almost taboo. Tears filled your eyes as you looked up into his face. His eyes widened in alarm.

“You love me?” you managed to say, your voice strained by the tightening of your throat.

“I have, for a while,” he said. “I-I’m sorry, I jus’ didn’t know how to say it. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that, but it’s the truth. I do love you, darlin’. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

Relief in the purest form of ecstasy washed over you. You threw your arms around Arthur’s neck, pulling him in for a tight hug. He stiffened for a moment before returning the embrace. His warmth filled you up and washed out every bad feeling and thought you had that day. 

“I love you, too,” you said softly, burying your face in his neck. He still carried the smells of Saint Denis with him, but you didn’t care. He didn’t smell like Mary Linton, and he never would. He was yours.

[thisnoodlewritesao3]

CONGRATS ON 100 FOLLOWERS IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!! YOU DESERVE IT ALL!

So a soulmate event aye? I'm here for it.

I was thinking this prompt

- A red string tied around your pinky is connected to your soulmate’s pinky (when the two of you are in a certain distance)

With Atsumu or Osamu? I have a thing for those 2 and i just love them so much and they deserve nice things and just yes.

I hope you're taking care of yourself!!!!!

omg i sort of popped off on this one and it ended up just a lil longer than i thought it would and omg. i have no words for myself at this rate. look, i will not be judged for my sudden and random love this boy, but um. you’ll see

thank you for participating! I am taking care of myself most of the time so eh ya know

----

Your yearly visit to Japan wasn’t meant to be anything special. Just a trip to Japan where you’d meet your cousins again.

When the three of you stood next to each other, you could see why no one thought that you, Kiyoomi and Motoya were related. Alas, you were, much to the world’s surprise. It didn’t even help that you weren’t from Japan, so your grasp on the language was laughable. You coped and so did they.

“A volleyball game?” You quirked a brow at Motoya as he grinned widely, taking the seat opposite you and snatching an onigiri off your plate. A glare formed quickly on your face and you pulled the plate close to you, shovelling another in your mouth.

“Not just any game, but nationals.” There was a shine of excitement in his eyes and you shrugged.

“I guess I could go, not like I have any plans.” Your parents often described you as a perfect middle between Kiyoomi and Motoya; not quite an outgoing puppy, but not really hating the idea of people either. There weren’t too many things you and your cousins could agree on; it wasn’t that you hated each other, but you just never had the time to bond with them like they had. Still, when you got together, things weren’t awkward. They just… were.

“Do you ever have any plans?” Kiyoomi snorted, leaning against the kitchen counter. Resisting the urge to throw the plate at him, you settled on glaring at him.

“For your information,” you said, pointing at him, “I have plenty of plans when I’m back home.”

They both laughed. Motoya decides to cackle like a hyena, Kiyoomi chuckles softly. Was it really that hard to believe? Okay, so, sure, you didn’t really have that many friends - that didn’t mean you couldn’t have plans! It just meant that you’d spend more nights alone than you’d like to admit - they didn’t need to know that though. Not like you were going to tell them anyway.

What you hadn’t expected - from the brief description Motoya had given you on the way to the stadium - was that volleyball would be one of the most boring and thrilling things in your life. There were parts so filled with tension and passion that you could have drowned in it. And then some rallies would go on for what felt like days and you’d lose interest, only to be pulled back into it a second later.

Your cousin wasn’t the number one ace in the country for no reason; he played with a level head yet intensity beyond his years. You didn't even fully understand why Motoya was leaping across the court, or what a Libero was, or what was happening. How you’d never agreed to come before was beyond you.

But something is amiss, and you don’t notice it until a red string floats into your vision, like it’s purposefully making you aware of its presence. Your breath catches in your throat just as Kiyoomi slams down the ball.

It was almost funny that the year you decided to watch the volleyball game Motoya had been inviting you to for forever that you’re soulmate would suddenly burst into existence. You can’t help the sinking feeling in your stomach, because if you’d stayed back in your home country this year like your dad had asked, then you never would have gotten this opportunity again.

It didn’t take much internal convincing for you to start following the string. Looping through halls, twisting and turning around people. Anticipation built up, one you’d felt so many times today, but this was a different kind of anticipation. A swelling in your stomach, a flutter of butterflies that had been startled awake. Something so primal, an urge inside of you, yet something so calm at the same time.

The closer you got the more your mind urged you to run. As crowds formed, you couldn’t help but think back to your parents' comparison of you and Kiyoomi (because even if you didn’t hate people as much, crowds were your worst enemy).

You pushed through, ignoring the urges of your heart because God knows when you’ll get this chance again. That was the point. You probably weren’t going to get this chance again. Not since you would be starting University, your parents wouldn’t just be sending you to another country for a month - even if it was for family reasons - this was your final chance to meet your soulmate.

God, if you’d have known that your soulmate was in Japan this whole time then you would have begged to live here as a child, but you didn’t. Especially being the older of your cousins, you couldn’t help but feel slightly more anxious.

Barely 18, ready to live your life, and now you’d found your soulmate. Motoya would be excited for you, Kiyoomi would probably offer his apologies depending on who it was.

Thoughts wracked with who it could be. What they would look like. How they would act. Sound. Talk to you. React. You didn’t even notice how close it had gotten until a hand was pulled in front of your eyes; the person it was connected to looked down at you, tears in his eyes, though seeming generally disinterested.

Your heart stopped - whether from anxiety or excitement, you’d figure out later - he met your eyes and you couldn’t help but blush.

Just as you were about to speak - make your debut moment to your soulmate - a wave of people suddenly surrounded you and you froze. Like all the air had been taken from your lungs. Your heart - previously stopped - now worked in full force. If it weren’t for the buzzing in your pocket, you might have passed out right there.

Your soulmate was staring down at you as you shakily reached into your pocket, answering the call without any question. “Where are you?” Motoya’s voice rang clear. You blink slowly, trying to catch your breath enough to speak.

“S-soulmate…” the word feels so foreign on your lips (reasonably so). He instructs you to pass the phone to him - it takes a lot of effort, but you manage, ruling the phone away from your face and to him. He takes it - albeit hesitating - and starts a conversation with your cousin.

The string looks so strange wrapped around your finger but it was something simple you could focus on. Breathing was painful, and the crowd didn’t seem to be clearing. You didn’t catch the conversation but his face shifted and he reached out for your hand, looking around quickly.

He must have seen something that would help because he weaved you in and out of the crowd towards a corner with a group of people standing in it. You didn’t recognise them, so you could only assume this is where you were going to die.

You were too busy saying your prayers when he pulled you closer to him. “Who’s that?” Asked a boy with bleached blond hair, scrunching up his nose. You were probably hallucinating - and in the  off chance you weren’t, you were asking for more prayers - because the boy with the bleach blond hair looks almost identical to your soulmate.

He looked down at you with contempt, but you didn’t have the energy to care, not as your soulmate pulled you closer away from him. You could just imagine a smirk forming on his lips. Somehow, his presence calmed you just enough that you could focus.

He talked with - who you quickly learned to be - his brother and the rest of his team. Miya Osamu - your soulmate - kept you close by, still looking at you with disinterest. It didn’t take long for your cousins to find you, but even after they did, you didn't leave Osamu’s side.

Motoya pulled you into a hug and talked to you softly, Kiyoomi muttered exactly what you thought he would, “you’re an idiot.” But there was something caring in his tone.

Motoya was explaining to you that they made it to the second round, but you weren’t paying too much attention. Of course they made it to the second round, they always did (well, you weren’t sure of that, this was the first time you’d been here).

Throughout the rest of your visit to Japan you spent more time on your phone to Osamu than you would willingly admit to the boys. Considering he was from Hyogo, and you were staying in Tokyo, it only made it harder. You joked and said it would only prepare you more for the long distance you’d have to do when you returned home. You didn’t miss the sad look in his eyes. So many countless nights spent on the phone, pretending like you didn’t want to be in his arms.

Long distance was harder than you could have imagined; between opposing time zones, schedules, and just general life things, it was hard to find time to talk to Osamu. You made a promise to each other, that if you ever happened to go no-contact (whether by accident or on purpose) that you would find each other eventually.

That was what happened.

With so much work, you were losing sleep, your grades were slipping, everything was stressful. The same for Samu; he was too tired to practise, grades going downhill. You were the most worried when Tsumu stopped teasing his slightly younger brother and started actually caring.

Contact slipped until it just stopped. It wouldn’t be another five years until you’d see Samu again. 

You finally made the decision to move to Japan - specifically Hyogo - you’d claim it was because Kiyoomi lived there, but really it was because you hoped for a chance encounter with Osamu.

Kiyoomi made the decision to introduce you to his team and you were met with one overly excited Miya Atsumu. The boy - although now he was more of a man - recognised you immediately as his brother's soulmate. He stepped away from you briefly, claiming he had an urgent phone call to make and you didn’t question it - you had no reason to after all.

Not until that familiar red string floats into your vision as it had done all the years ago and you turn around to see Osamu standing there, a little out of breath but so happy. You act on instinct, throwing yourself into his arms and promising to not leave his side again.

----

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[waitimcomingtoo]

Where We Start Again - 7

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: how do you fake date someone you have real feelings for?

Series Masterlist and Regular Masterlist

Playlist by @tiny-friggin-human

“Peter! Y/n’s here!”

Peter gave himself one last look in the mirror and let out a nervous breath. He fixed his tie, put it back to its original position, and then fixed it again. He ran his fingers through his hair one final time and left his room.

Peters legs carried him to the front door where you stood next to May. He had already seen your dress, but it took his breath away nonetheless. Your hair was in lose curls that framed your face like the worlds prettiest painting. You looked away from May and made eye contact with Peter, giving him a fond smile.

“You look incredible.” Peter laughed shyly and gave you an awkward thumbs up. “You look like how poetry sounds. Like, you are the most beautiful stanza my life has written.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” You shot back. Peter stared at you in adoration until May cleared her throat.

“Oh, right.” He looked down the at corsage in his hands and held it out to you. “This is for you.”

You took the corsage from Peter and smiled gratefully. Through the plastic box, you could see a corsage of daises held together by a florescent wrist band.

“It’s um, daises…for my daisy.”

“I thought your name was Y/n?” May whispered in your ear.

“It is.” You told her. “It’s his nickname for me.”

“Aw.” She gushed and looked to Peter. “I love that. Okay, get together.”

You and Peter spent the next ten minutes in various poses while May snapped pictures. Peter could sense some distance between the two of you and he wondered if something was bothering you. Not wanting to ruin the dance for you, he didn’t bring it up.

“Okay, we’re going now May. Don’t wait up.” Peter kissed his aunts cheek before ushering you out the door.

“Are you ready?” Peter asked once you got in the elevator.

“How bad is this gonna mess up my hair?” You whined and smoothed your hair down.

“Baby girl, this is going to give you that beautiful, windswept look that all the girls will be jealous of.” Peter explained as you steppes off the elevator and onto tour roof.

“You know, most girls get a limo.” You pointed out.

“Yeah well,” Peter wrapped his arm around your waist and held you tightly, “most girls aren’t dating Spider-Man.”

You cracked a smile before you booth dove off the building and swung to prom.

~

Since neither you or Peter were big dancers, you took a seat on the bleachers and just talked while the rest of the class had fun. He could tell you were reserved tonight, not taking his hand or showing affection like you normally would. He figured it was probably since today was the last day of your fake relationship. That told him that it was just pretend for you, and you were through pretending. Anything MJ or Ned told him about you liking him back want true, and he just had to accept that.

A sadness began to sink into Peter as he realized this would be the last time he could call you his girlfriend or be with you in this way. It was taking away his ability to enjoy the dance and all he could do was hope you couldn’t tell.

“I’ll be right back. I just want to make sure the DJ got my updated playlist.” You squeezed Peters arm and got off the bleachers.

“I’ll be here.” He told you and you gave him a tight smile before leaving.

Once you were out of earshot, Peter let out a loud sigh. It was all too much. You looked too beautiful and he was going to miss you too much. Now that he had gotten everything he ever wanted, he felt listless and empty. Ned noticed his best friends glum face and brought him a cup of punch. Peter gratefully accepted the punch and scooted over something Ned could sit.

“Why do you look so miserable? You’re at the school dance with Y/n L/n.” Ned shook his arm anxiously. “This is our peak, Peter. It’s all downhill from here.”

“Because it all ends after tonight. She’s not gonna be my fake girlfriend anymore. We won’t have an excuse to hang out.” Peter mumbled as he dug his shoe into the floor.

“I thought we were gonna get the gross sandwich every year?” Ned reminded him.

“I doubt it. She’s gonna graduate and go off to do amazing things and forget all about me. And even if we do keep the tradition, that’s one day a year where I’ll have to listen to her talk about how everyone at college loves her because how could they not and I’ll just have to sit there and pretend I’m not in love with her.” Peter shrugged sadly. “She has the world at her fingertips, Ned. She’s gonna be over me by tomorrow and I’m gonna be crying in a bar on my 29th birthday party about how I let her get away while a Coldplay song plays.”

“Hauntingly specific.” Ned muttered.

“I lied to you.” Peter looked at him. “I knew what this was and I still got hurt.”

“Peter, don’t smile because it happened. Cry because it’s over.” Ned said sympathetically. Peter stared at him for a while and ultimately decided not to tell Ned that he messed up the saying.

“Hey, Peter.” Flash nodded at the boys as he approached them. “Hey Justin. Could you give us a minute?”

“Justin?” Ned whispered to himself before walking away. Flash patted him on the back and took a seat next to Peter.

“I think that’s the first time you ever called me by my real name.” Peter chuckled humorlessly as he watched you from across the gym.

“Your girlfriend kinda ruined Penis Parker for me.” Flash told him. “Every time I think about it, my mind goes to terrifying places. I couldn’t sleep for a week.”

“Yeah, she has that affect on people.” Peter smiled to himself.

“I’m not dumb.” Flash said suddenly. “I act dumb and say dumb things, but I’m third in the class. It goes Y/n, you, and me.”

“I never knew that.” Peter looked at him curiously. “I honestly didn’t think you could read.”

“Well I can. Books and people. And I’ve been reading your girlfriend for a while.” Flash said pointedly. Every time he called you his girlfriend, it cut Peter like a knife. All it did was remind him that after tonight, he could never call you that again.

“What do you mean?”

“I know it was fake.” Flash admitted and Peters eyes went wide. “There was no way you started going out with that girl and didn’t tell anybody. I only played along because I wanted to see how far it would go. I wondered how the smartest girl in school was gonna figure out how to get out of going to a dance she planned with a total loser. I thought she was gonna back down after a day, but she just got stronger. It’s like when you spray a bug with Raid and it comes back at you with a vengeance.” Flash shuddered. “That’s what she did. I heard MJ and Ned talking about it in English. They said you guys went dress shopping together, baked cookies together, stuff like that. And she learned to play your favorite song or something?”

“Yeah.” Peter smiled at the memory. “She did.”

“That’s what I mean. That’s not fake. Maybe the first day was about proving a point to me, but all the other days weren’t.” Flash explained. “I doubt I crossed her mind once in the past two weeks. She wasn’t doing it for me. She was doing it for you.”

Peters face twisted in confusion at Flash’s words.

“But this was her idea.” Peter told him. “I gave her a million chances to back out but she insisted on faking a relationship.”

“Listen Peter, no one saw this coming. Least of all, her. By some God, she fell in love with you for real. Everyone can see that but you.” Flash clapped Peter on the back. “She’s happier, she laughs louder, she even wears your hoodie when you’re not around. I live in her building, dude. I see her getting her mail every morning in that thing. I think she sleeps in it.”

“Really?” Peters lips curved into a smile.

“Yes, dumbass.” Flash grunted. “This isn’t fake for her. You stumbled into some teen movie plot where the hot girl falls in love with the nerd and they defy all odds and end up together. I mean, look around Peter. You are at the senior dance with the girl every boy in our class wanted to go with. She could have had any of these dumbasses but she picked the biggest dumbass of all. She picked you. And instead of going out there and enjoying the dance with her, you’re over here sulking about how she’ll never like you back.”

“You’re also over here sulking.” Peter reminded him.

“That’s just my face.” Flash snapped and went quiet for a moment. “You know she got into Harvard?”

“What?” Peter practically yelled. You had definitely not told him about that.

“Yeah. Like I said, I see her at the mailbox. I saw her open the letter.” Flash continued. “I also eavesdropped on her conversation with MJ about getting in.”

“What did she say? And why didn’t she tell me?” Peter wondered out loud.

“She said she’s not going.” Flash shrugged.

“What? Why not? That’s her dream school.” Peter exclaimed. He was frustrated now. Frustrated that you hadn’t told him and frustrated that you were trying to turn it down.

“Are you really that dumb?” Flash asked in annoyance.

“Apparently.” Peter stated, still not getting it.

“She’s not going because of you, you incel.” Flash said abruptly. “I heard her tell MJ that you were staying in New York for college and she didn’t want to leave you.”

“She’s staying for me?” Peter asked, mostly to himself.

“Yep.” Flash nodded gratuitously. “Apparently she’s not as smart as she seems.”

Peters shoulders slumped as he mulled over what Flash told him.

“She can’t throw away her life like this. Not for me.” He shook his head decidedly. “I could never make her happy.”

“Well, that’s a given, no?” Flash asked him. “You’re not good enough for her. And not even on a popular versus non popular spectrum. She is an angel among us and you build Lego lamps and smell like baby oil. You’re a loser, Peter. You are always going to be a loser.” Flash put his hand on Peters back and pointed to you. “But a girl like that is going places. And now she’s giving up her dream school for a guy she’s known for two weeks. Do you really want to be the thing that holds her back?”

Peter thought about it for a second and shook his head. Flash was right. Just like MJ, he wasn’t trying to be mean. Peter was a loser. In that moment as you gave him a flirty wave from across the gym, he knew he loved you too much to let you waste your life on him.

“No, I don’t.” He realized. “I can’t let her do that. I have to let her go.”

“If you do, can you tell me? I wanna be her rebound.” Flash rubbed his hands together as he stared at you.

“Sure.” Peter stood you and realized what Flash said. “I mean, no. Ew.”

Peter was about to walk away when he turned back around to look at Flash.

“Hey Flash?”

“What?” He grumbled.

“Thanks.” Peter smiled. “Third in the class is really cool.”

With that, Peter pushed his way through the student body to get to you. He had decided to break things off after the dance, rather than during. You worked so hard planning it and he wasn’t about to be the jerk that ruined it for you. The way your eyes lit up as Peter made his way to you killed him inside. He could barely stand to look at you, knowing what he was gonna have to do later that night.

“Hey daisy.” He gave you a tight smile. Now that he was closer, he could see you were upset about something. He began to fear that someone had told you about the conversation he had with Flash.

“Hi Peter.” You smiled sadly.

“What’s wrong?”

“I put real beta fish in the centerpieces because I wanted this dance to be elegant and creative but the fish keep dying so everyone has dead fish on their table and it’s disgusting and Stacy the vegan started crying and I ruined the dance.” You said all in one breath, punctuating your rant by resting your forehead against Peters shoulder. He instinctively wrapped his arms around you and rubbed your back.

“Hey hey hey, the dance isn’t ruined.” He assured you and pulled away so he could look at you. “I’ll get Ned to get rid of the centerpieces and then the problem will be gone. I have a feeling he’s going to love this task.”

“This is all my fault.” You whimpered. “This is what I get for buying 200 fish off a guy who swiped my credit card through a crack between two bricks. I’m such a bad business mogul. I’m never gonna be on the cover of Forbes magazine.” You began to cry and buried your face in Peters chest again.

“Daisy, it’s okay.” He chuckled and got the hair out of your face. “Forbes is still gonna put you on the cover. And I’m gonna buy every copy and tell everyone I know that that was my fake girlfriend in high school. You haven’t ruined anything. Everyone is enjoying the dance, see?”

You lifted your head of Peters chest to look around the dance floor. Your senior class was laughing, dancing, and all round having a good time.

“You think so?” You looked at Peter tearfully.

“Absolutely.” He smiled sweetly. “I’ve had a bunch of people come up to me and tell me my girlfriend planned an awesome dance. Everyone is having a great time.”

“Thanks, Peter.” You hugged him again and he could feel your body relax.

“I’m gonna go tell Ned to take care of the fish. Stay here.” He ordered and left to find Ned. Luckily, he spotted Ned gaping at one of the centerpieces close by.

“Dude, these fish are dead.” Ned said as Peter approached him.

“I know and it’s really bumming Y/n out.” Peter told him. “I need you to collect all the center pieces and throw them out. But check if the fish are alive first.”

“I was put on this planet to complete this task.” Ned grinned and saluted Peter.

“I know buddy.” Peter saluted him back and turned on his heel to go back to you.

“Wait, what do I do with the alive ones?” Ned asked.

“Save them for us, obviously.”

“Hell yeah.” Ned pumped his fist. “Okay, I’ll get on it.”

Peter smiled in relief and went back over to where you were.

“Your centerpieces are taken care of, my lady.” Peter declared, making you smile widely.

“Thank you.” You gushed. “I’ll have to thank Ned too. He’s doing it so fast, it’s like he’s done it before.”

“The scary part is, I feel like Ned would be the type of person to have collected tiny fish corpses during a school dance before.” Peter said as he watched his best friend steal fish from decorative centerpieces.

“You two are really something.” You laughed and took one of Peters hands. He held your hand with both of his and patted it gently.

“Yeah.” He laughed before his eyes shifted to the right. “Flash is staring at us.”

“Then let’s give him something to stare at.” You shrugged and dragged Peter to the middle of the dance floor. He gulped, having a feeling where you were going with this.

“I don’t really know how to dance.” He told you once you got to the center.

“Then I’ll lead. Just put your hands on my hips and sway.” You instructed Peter and he complied. “And hold tight. We’re dating, after all.”

“Like this?” Peter held your hips firmly and looked to you for approval.

“That’s perfect.” You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Come closer, though.”

Peter stepped closer so your bodies were pressed together. You and Peter kept in time with the song and swayed softly to the music. Peter couldn’t get over how pretty you looked in your dress. He was sure the sight of your standing in his doorway was one he would never forget. You looked absolutely enchanting and it made his heart swell and burst. The past two weeks of getting to know you were a dream come true for him, and it killed him that the dream was about to end. And he just hated that he had to break your heart.

“I’m sorry you have to spend your senior dance with me.” Peter said suddenly. “I’m sure this wasn’t a part of the plan when you stood up for me in the hallway.”

“It wasn’t, but it worked out.” You shrugged. “I was gonna ask you to the dance anyway.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because you were taking too long to ask me.” You mocked him. Peter smiled timidly and looked down at his shoes.

“I was a little busy fighting off the hundreds of girls competing for my attention with a longsword.” He said apologetically.

“Ha ha.” You laughed sarcastically. “They better know to stay away from my man.”

“I’m kidding. You have absolutely no competition, in a hot way.” He added. “I don’t think girls can even see me. Like, their brain blocks me out. And two week ago, I didn’t have the courage to say “bless you” after you sneezed. I never could’ve asked you to the dance.“

“Can you stop that?” You looked at him angrily.

“Stop what?” He asked.

“Belittling yourself.” You answered. “You’re a really, really good guy Pete. You’re sweet and you’re funny and super ripped for some reason. How come you’ve never had a girlfriend?”

“I don’t know. Girls don’t really go for the winner of the science fair. I’m not what they want.”

“Then they’re stupid. No wonder I’m number one in the class.” You smiled smugly and brushed some hair off your shoulder.

“What about you? Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” He wondered. “And I know for a fact your excuse is not the same as mine, so don’t even try it. I’ve seen boys break up with their girlfriends just because you walked by.”

“Those boys don’t want me.” You shook your head and readjusted your arms around Peters neck. “They want the most popular girl in school. They’re looking for status and a good parking spot and a seat at the cool kids table. If I wasn’t popular, they would never look my way.”

“Yeah. I hear boys hate it when girls are pretty.” Peter nodded like he understood.

“Shut up. I’m being serious.” You whined. You got quiet suddenly and refused to meet Peters eyes as you stared at the ground. “Do you ever feel unlovable?”

“Sometimes. Or hard to love, at least.” He answered honestly and looked at you out of curiosity. “Do you?”

You looked up at Peter with a pained look in your eye.

“I look in the mirror sometimes and I have to wonder, is this it?” You whispered. “And if it is, how is this gonna be enough for someone? How is someone going to love this? If you’re in a room full of beautiful flowers in full bloom, no ones gonna pick a daisy.”

“Don’t say that. Someone would.” Peter tightened his grip on your waist, angry that you would say something like that about the girl he loved. You looked at Peter and smiled a little.

“Being with you is the first time I’ve felt like someone could love me.” You spoke softly. “And it’s the first time I’ve felt like I could lo-“

“Don’t say it.” Peter cut you off. If you said what he thought you were about to say, he would never be able to let you go. It was hard enough already to leave you. If he knew you loved him, he coudk never bring himself to do it. Your face went pale and rigid, thinking Peter cut you off because he was rejecting you once again.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” You let go of Peter, all the emotions from the night before hitting you once again. “I have to go.”

You began to walk away from Peter but he grabbed your arm gently and turned you around.

“Daisy, wait.” He stopped you and held you in place. His mind was a battlefield. He knew he had to let you go, but it killed him inside to do it. He just needed one last chance to look at you.

“What are we doing here, Peter?” You laughed sadly. “We said this ends with the dance. Just let me go.”

You broke out of his grip and started walking away away.

“I can’t. Not when I - - just please don’t leave.” He pleaded. Before you could respond, a familiar song played through the speakers. “Hey There Delilah.” Peter mumbled as the bass vibrated in his chest.

“I made the playlist.” You shrugged. “I really have to go. Say So is next and if I see Ned doing that dance one more time…” Your voice cracked before you turned away from him and ran out of the gym, shoving the doors open and escaping through them. Peter watched you leave as he wondered what went wrong so quickly. He knew you well enough by now to know something even bigger was bothering you, he just couldn’t figure out what. He ran after you and caught up to you in the parking lot.

“Daisy - daisy wait.” He called but you kept running. “Will you stop? How do you run so fast in heels?”

“Go away, Peter.” You spun around and he could see the tears in your eyes. You held yourself for a moment as the cold air hit your exposed arms, still warm from the dance.

“No. I’m not gonna go away until you tell me what’s bothering you.” Peter declared. “What happened back there?”

“Why don’t you want me?” You cried before Peter could finish his sentence. He recoiled a little, completely taken aback by your question.

“What?”

“Why don’t you want me?” You repeated, black tears now streaming down your cheeks.

“Of course I want you. You’re the one who doesn’t want me.” He protested. That’s what he had told himself every second of this fake relationship. That’s what he had to cling to if he was gonna do this.

“Are you kidding me?” You shouted and laughed at the absurdity. “What’s not clicking?”

Peter licked his lips and looked you firmly in the eyes. He couldn’t let you tell him that you loved him. That would only make this harder. If he was going to let you go, he was going to have to do it now.

“What’s not clicking is that you’re delusional. You think you like me? You think you want nerdy friends and baking dates? You don’t.” He snapped. “You live a charmed life! You’re surrounded by people who worship you and you act like that’s a bad thing. You wanna shit on your fake friends and their fake parties, well fine.” Peter held up his hands. “But I don’t want any part of it. Because who are we fooling here, honestly? Let’s not pretend that a girl like you would ever be interested in a guy like me.”

“A girl like me?” You asked through gritted teeth. His behavior was so out of character for him that you almost didn’t believe was you were hearing. Peter could tell from the look on your face that he was hurting you, but he couldn’t let up. He had to destroy the home you built in him so you wouldn’t want to stay anymore.

“A popular girl!” He yelled in a mocking tone. “A popular, pretty girl who has no business hanging out with losers like me and Ned.”

“I like hanging out with you and Ned.” You protested.

“Why? Because you want to be different? Because you want to prove to yourself that your heart is made of gold because you fell in love with a nerd during a fake relationship” he pouted sarcastically and you started to cry again. “Guess what, Y/n? You didn’t fall in love with me. You were never going to fall in love with me.” His voice cracked and he wondered briefly who his words hurt more. “You said it yourself. You’re the deity and I’m just the hopeless loser who fell for you. What a wonderful world.”

“What happened to you? I thought you were different.” You sniffled and folded your arms. It was a miracle you hadn’t walked away yet, so Peter had to keep going.

“Well, I’m not. I’m exactly like everyone else. Did you think I was interested in you because you paint and play the guitar?” He laughed bitterly. “No. I liked you because you’re hot and popular, and I wanted to be hot and popular like you. The sooner you accept that you’ll never be more than a pretty face, you’ll find that happiness you’re so desperate to achieve. You know, the one you’ve been looking for in me? Look at yourself. You act all high and mighty, claiming that everyone wants something from you, but let’s face it, daisy. No ones ever gonna want anything more from you than a smile.”

“That’s not true.” You said weakly. Peter began to tear up at how horribly he was treating you, but he pushed through it.

“Isn’t it?” He tilted his head. “You think you’re unloveable? You know what, you probably are.”

“How could you say that to me? This isn’t you.” You spat and took a step away from you. This was a good sign for Peter. He was finally driving you away.

“This is me. This is everybody. Out here, people are gonna pick your daisies and rip the petals off while you watch. But this is what you chose, isn’t it?” He taunted. “Do you still want to join me and the rest of the island of misfit toys or do you want to go back inside and enjoy your dance with your pretty, popular friends? The choice is yours.”

You marched up to Peter and got incredibly close to his close, staring at him with clear eyes.

“The choice was mine and I picked you.” You stated. “I know this relationship started out as fake, but my feelings for you have always been real. I thought you felt the same but then I kissed you and you - - you rejected me!” Your face scrunched up in pain and Peter finally understood where you outburst came from. “I’ve been trying to act like everything’s fine for your sake when it’s not. But maybe that was a waste. Maybe you deserved to know how shitty I was feeling because you certainly didn’t hold back on me.”

You backed away from Peter and started towards the parking lot while Peter processed what you said. You had just confirmed what he never thought would be true.

You liked him.

No, you loved him.

And he had just obliterated any chance he had with you.

All your trust, feelings, and friendship was laid to waste by Peters hands.

Hearing it from you removed the cloud from his brain and he could finally see how stupid his plan was. Being mean to you to get you to leave him for Harvard might work, but it would hurt all parties in the process. You’d go back to where you started, only more broken than Peter had found you. He couldn’t let his first relationship, be it real or fake, end like this.

“Daisy.” He called as he ran after you. You turned around with a searing anger in your eyes.

“You don’t get to call me that anymore. Peter got to call me that but this”, you gestured right him weakly, “this isn’t Peter. I want no part of this.”

“Please, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” He begged for your forgiveness, which he already knew he didn’t deserve.

“No, I know what you were thinking.” You stopped him. “You were scared because this got too real for you and thought if you ruined it before it even happened, you couldn’t ruin it later when it actually mattered.”

“That’s actually better than my reasoning and now that I think about it, that was definitely a factor.” Peter realized how right you were. He knew he didn’t deserve you so he sabotaged it before it could happen.

“I was scared too, Peter. But instead of running away from the unknown, I ran towards it. I guess you just don’t have that in you.” You shrugged and he felt your words chill him to the bone.

“Wait, just let me explain-“

“I loved you.” You cut him off and the blood drained from his face. “For what it’s worth, I absolutely loved you. It was never fake for me. I’m so sick of pretending.”

And with that, you walked away.

“Y/n, wait.” He called weakly, but he knew you weren’t gonna come back. He got what he wanted. He drove you away, just like he planned. But if that was the goal, why did he feel so awful inside?

“But I was never pretending.” He mumbled.

Tag List 🏷

@a-villain-vying-for-attention @wendaiii @dorbiksbitch @t-monosapiens-h @badhollandfluff @silteplaittais-toi @thisisthebiplace @seasidecrowbar @spideygirl2003 @5-seconds-of-mendes @bitchylittleredhead @oh-whatabeautiful-parker @everydaymj @write-from-the-heart @blackpetalsmeandeath @electraheart-3174 @shawni-h @peterparkoure @sleepythighsweat @steebbb @traveleraroundsworld @averyfosterthoughts @bralessandflawless @viwihere @eridanuswave @the-greatt-perhaps​ @spidey-lillies @kelieah @danicarosaline @xroselights @xoxohollands​ @jannine00742 @itscaminow @peterisinapickle @starstruckgardenstudentzonk @danicarosaline @potter-head-phanatic @peepeeparkerr @muade-mua-de @liljennyx3

[lampmeeting]

D for Charles/Magnus, I for Magnus/Toki, L for Charles/Pickles, and F for Melm/JT.

eeehEHEHEHE DILF *rubs my little hands together* don't mind if i do~

D for Drunken Love Confession - Charles/Magnus

pre-klok. :') magnus has been chipping away at charles' resolve. there's just something about the bookish, put-together little chuck offdensen that makes magnus wanna break through all his defenses and see him come undone. he always did like a challenge. they have heated, passionate debates about the direction of the band. they get in each other's faces. magnus even kissed him once, but charles pushed him away, furious and blushing, and demanded he leave his office.

after six months of this weirdly charged back-and-forth they have, the band invites charles to come drinking with them to celebrate pickles' birthday. charles declines, concerned they're just inviting him to come because they want someone else to play designated driver. but magnus intervenes like "nah i'm driving tonight, promise. so go nuts." and charles seems to think it over... and eventually agrees.

so they all go out! at first charles seems to be pacing himself, but pickles gets shots, and it's all downhill from there. magnus, staying dutifully sober, watches the rest of the band + charles get sloppy and silly, not minding in the slightest the way charles leans against him a little in the booth and touches him when he laughs. he starts to regret not getting drunk himself, but he'd promised charles. it's enough just to see charles' mask slip, albeit not quite in the way magnus wanted. but he'll take it for now.

at the end of the night, magnus drops the band off at the apartment and then continues on to charles' place. he pulls up, and charles tries to get out of the car, but stumbles and falls. he's a lot more fucked up than magnus suspected. magnus helps him to the door, but charles seriously looks like he's about to black out, so he takes him inside, cleans him up a little, and puts him to bed (on his side, in the recovery position, he knows the drill). before he leaves, he can't help himself... he runs fingers through charles' sweaty hair and strokes his jaw. charles opens his eyes, seeming surprised that magnus is still there, and then... he smiles at him. a genuine smile. and as his eyes close again, he whispers something that freezes magnus in place.

"...mmfm...mmlove you..."

"...what?"

but charles is under again, and magnus leaves in a panic. charles doesn't, can't, have feeling for him. that's too much. magnus just wanted some fun, right? maybe get charles worked up enough for an angry fuck. but...love?

magnus can't sleep. the next time magnus sees charles, charles pulls him aside. "i apologize that you had to babysit me like that the other night. i can't exactly recall everything that happened, so if i said or did anything, ah...embarrassing, i'm very sorry."

so charles doesn't remember what he said. or he does and he's just trying to save face. magnus should be relieved about this, but for some reason his heart feels suddenly sore...

"oh, yeah, no...you were out like a light. don't worry about it."

--

I for "Idiots in Love" - Toki/Magnus

post-post-galaktikon. weirdly enough i'd probably write this from like nathan's pov or something. he's having everyone over to the house for some reason, maybe a holiday or his daughter's first birthday or something (her cool uncles wouldn't dream of missing it). this means..... rrugghhgh magnus is coming over. it's the first time he's interacted with magnus since pickles and charles' wedding, so maybe a good couple years, and he's not looking forward to it.

everyone arrives. toki and magnus are the last to show up, and nathan has to do a double-take because this is SO not magnus. half his hair is back in a ponytail, he's let his beard grow in some, and he's wearing a sweater?? and he's smiling? he genuinely seems happy to see nathan, gives him a hug, says a warm hello to abby.

over the course of the afternoon nathan has to keep looking at him and reminding himself that's magnus fucking hammersmith because he's just so... animated? friendly? he's sitting next to toki and they're holding hands, and when others are talking the two of them are making eyes at each other and cuddling and laughing at little things they seem to be sharing between themselves. they're being a couple of absolute goofballs together, and honestly it's a bit sickening to watch. is magnus just faking this?

at some point nathan excuses himself to the kitchen for something, and while he's in there he's joined by magnus, considerably more subdued.

"sorry, man, i just...i thought maybe we could talk for a sec."

so they talk. they catch up a little. nathan learns magnus has been hitting the therapy especially hard over the past year, making some meaningful strides. it's not an act, he's genuinely happier now. or at least trying to be.

"i mean, you know how it is, nate, right? doesn't abby make you wanna be better just because she exists and she loves you?"

okay, nathan can understand that. he still doesn't understand... them. but it really seems like magnus has turned a corner, which... good for him, he supposes. as long as he's treating toki well.

when they return to the party, nathan watches magnus sit back down with toki and give him a kiss like he'd been gone all month, and they giggle to themselves again. this time, it seems...all right.

--

L for "Love at First Sight" - Charles/Pickles

i'm gonna flip the script here!! i've already done the whole "charles sees pickles on stage and goes gaga for him" twice now... so i'd pull away from the 80s and do a fic where they actually did meet for the first time in the mid-90s when pickles was in dethklok.

so they've got their shitty original manager (the one from doomstar) still, and he's just not pulling his weight. he's managing a few other bands and his heart isn't in dethklok the way it used to be. pickles is worried they're stagnating, and when he learns that it's been magnus lately making sure they get booked, that's the last straw. they all come together, and they tell the dude to fuck off. but then this leaves them without a manager. magnus offers, but pickles has already been wary about how possessive magnus seems about the band recently, so when pickles says no the rest of them vote the same.

pickles blows through his old contacts looking to dig up some manager from his past who can either wants to manage dethklok or has connections to someone else. no dice. skwisgaar comes up with no one. magnus is still trying to campaign for himself. shit gets dire when somehow seth finds out dethklok is lacking management and leaves pickles a voicemail offering his "valuable fuckin' services". pickles blows his fucking top, swearing and screaming. "HOW HARD IS IT TO FIND ONE GUY CAPABLE OF MANAGING A FUCKIN' BAND??"

the doorbell rings, and pickles, still raging, throws it open.

"WHAT??"

"ahh!"

it's just... a dude. like a normal-ass dude. glasses. a nice dress shirt and slacks. nice hair. handsome. he's nervous as shit, but that almost makes him more handsome.

"i, ah...i-i was told that van on the street belongs to, ah...to someone here? i clipped the, ah, the bumper. just a little. but it's noticeable."

anger forgotten, pickles just... stares at him. are his eyes green or brown? and that jawline...

the man shifts his weight just a bit, peeking into the apartment with wide, curious eyes. "sorry, that, ah... that's quite the drum kit."

"huh?" pickles looks back at it and steps inside, and the man follows as if he's simply meant to be there. "oh, yeah, thanks. you play?"

"hardly. a small jazz kit in college for a friend's music project but it, ah, obviously didn't go anywhere." the man glances around and seems to realize that he's just waltzed inside. "right, ah, so about the van--" he pulls out his card. charles f. offdensen of finch & associates. an honest-to-god lawyer. huh. so he's a smart guy. good-looking to boot. knows a bit about music, apparently. and he's looking to make things right about hitting the van...

pickles smiles, hearts in his eyes. "ya like metal, charlie?"

--

F for "Fake Dating" - Melmord/Twinkletits

aaahahah... okay. so, this would be when melm is living with john as part of his continued therapy. a few months pass, and they've actually become good friends, melm thinks, not just therapist and patient. it's nice living there with john.

and then, john gets a call from his ex-wife, joy. she's in town, and she wants to come over for dinner one night before she leaves. the only thing is, she's got her new fiance in tow. she and john ended on pretty mutual terms, so there's really no bitterness there, but even so, john knows it's going to be an unpleasant evening. and then there's the question of what to do about melmord.

"you can just stuff me in a back room and pretend i don't exist. i'll be real quiet."

"absolutely not, you've been watching too many sitcoms."

"excuse you, that's jane eyre."

john just doesn't exactly know how to approach explaining melmord's presence in the house. because he knows joy, and joy will ask.

"tell her i'm a friend who needed a place to crash?"

"joy knows i don't do friends anymore."

ouch go melm's feelings.

"well, uh... you could just tell her the truth? that i'm your patient and i live with you?"

john pulls a face. "absolutely not."

in a flash of sitcom inspiration, melm snaps his fingers. "i got it! i'm your boyfriend! we'll pretend to date!"

"pretend to--?? mel, honey, no. okay? i understand you're trying to help, but--"

"but what? what's your brilliant idea, doc?"

cut to john introducing melmord to his ex-wife.

"and this is my... well, he's uh, my boyfriend actually. my boyfriend melmord."

melm is all smiles as he leans in and takes joy's hand. "please, just call me mel."

and then of course at the end of a long night, joy and her fiance leave, and john and melm pat each other on the back for a job well done. they really gave it their all, put on a convincing performance full of long embraces and doting glances and romantic touches. neither of them really want to talk about how easily it came to them, and how unwilling they both are to bring it to an end.

"well, uhh... good night, then." john chuckles. "darling."

"yeah, haha, sleep good, uh... sugarbear."

they laugh. they're standing in the hall laughing. they should really move apart from each other and go to their respective rooms if they're going to sleep, but they're not moving. and they're still laughing. and now melmord is touching john's shirt, fingering a button, and john has a hand on melm's hip...

"maybe," melm says quietly, "we can just pretend for, like... a little longer?"

[spicycreativity]

An angst prompt if you're up for it (no pressure): Patton bakes the others a batch of cookies/cupcakes to lighten the mood, but nobody seems to like or appreciate them.

Maybe one of the Sides comes in to help Patton feel better? But feel free to interpret this prompt however you prefer 😊

Thank you! This turned out to be a fun one. I used this scenario as a way to explore a potential friendship (or at least allyship) between Patton and Remus post-PoF. Hope you like!

The atmospheric pressure in the mindscape was at an all-time high. Everyone was acting on an odd sort of principle, maybe pride, Patton didn't know, but they all kept trying to be in the same room and sitting in icy silence until they all left one-by-one.

They were all pretending not to be upset and doing an absolutely awful job of it.

And the pressure rose and rose and rose. Patton handled it with his usual grace, which is to say he treated the symptoms and not the underlying issue, which is to say he made cookies. 

He woke up early and made batches and batches: frosted sugar cookies, snickerdoodles, chocolate chip, monster cookies. He found it all rather meditative.

But this peace was not to last. As the others filed in (first Logan, then Virgil, then Roman) and ignored him, Patton shattered the silence each time with forced cries of "good morning!" that went largely unreciprocated.

Logan nodded at him. Virgil gave him a lingering look. Roman's mouth quirked in a flash of a false smile. Not one of them spoke.

This only increased Patton's desperation to make it better make it better make it better take care of them take care of them--

When the final batch of cookies were cooled, he arranged everything on a massive tray. He brought this out to the others, who were sitting deathly still as they pretended to enjoy each other's company.

"I thought you guys might like some cookies!" The false cheerfulness in Patton's voice seemed to echo off all the hard surfaces in the living room, bouncing back and hitting him in the chest.

For a moment, they all just stared at him. Then Roman made a monumental effort. "Thanks."

"I can get some milk or make coffee if you want," Patton said, an edge of desperation creeping into his voice.

"No, thank you," Logan said, not even looking up from his laptop.

"Virgil?"

"Maybe later."

"Oh," said Patton, sinking down onto the couch. "Okay."

And the tray remained untouched.

After everyone had left for the day, satisfied in their daily quota of forced social interaction, Patton picked up the tray and went to find Janus.

He found Remus instead. He was sitting on the floor of a vast room, manning the controls of a model train. The track took up most of the floor and even extended up the walls. Patton paused, forgetting himself, and stared.

"Are you lost, little Puritan?" Remus asked, not looking up from his task. "I think Virginia is that way." He nodded toward the door.

"I was looking for Janus."

"He's working." Remus brought the train to a halt and finally looked up from the controls. "Okay, that's enough cookies to feed an entire youth soccer league."

"They were supposed to be for everyone," Patton said, unable to wholly control his curiosity. Playing with model trains was benign even for him, and try as he might, he couldn't see a single sinister thing about the setup.

"Aha!" Remus leapt to his feet. "I see you admiring my caboose! Care to take a closer look?"

"Oh," said Patton, already backing away, "no--" But Remus leapt over everything in one fluid, physics-defying motion and took Patton's arm. The tray teetered, unbalanced, but Remus just snapped his fingers and it began to float.

He dragged Patton over to where he had been sitting and steered the train to the tracks just in front of them. "This--" He pointed to one of the cars-- "is a perfect model of a UP 2612 caboose."

Seeing movement inside, Patton leaned in to take a closer look. "There are little people in there!"

"Well, of course." Remus took a cookie off the tray, which was still hovering beside Patton, and shoved the whole thing in his mouth. "Who else is gonna die in the crash? Come on, old man, I know you've seen The Addams Family."

"Oh," said Patton, sitting up straight again.

"It's not like they feel pain," Remus said, artfully inserting another cookie into his mouth. "I'm not a complete sicko." The words came out with a spray of crumbs, which Patton couldn't even bring himself to mind. At least someone was enjoying his cookies. As if reading his mind, Remus said, "These fuck!"

"Oh," said Patton, wide-eyed. "Is that good?"

Remus nodded. "These fuck severely and if your dumbass friends can't see that, then it serves them right that they don't get any."

"Don't call them--"

"Now check this shit out!" Remus started up the train. It chugged along the little metal tracks, picking up speed. On a downhill slope, it hit a hairpin turn and derailed, flew a few feet, hit a model water tower, and exploded.

Remus cheered and elbowed Patton in the ribs. "That was a good one!"

The idea of little people-shaped things dying in a horrible explosion still didn't sit right in Patton's stomach, but even he couldn't deny the sheer childish delight in watching things go boom. Still, he would have preferred a happy ending. He just didn't understand. He sighed and picked up one of the frosted sugar cookies. "Why do you have to kill people in order for it to be fun?"

Remus shrugged. "It's what I am. People die in train crashes."

"But why dwell on it?"

"Ooh," said Remus, creating a cookie sandwich out of two snickerdoodles and a chocolate chip cookie. "You're starting to sound like a certain sanctimonious snakey. You know--" He tried and failed to shove the triple decker cookie in his mouth and had to settle for taking a bite. "You guys are very similar when you think about it." He pointed at Patton. "Pretty lies." Then he pointed at himself and leered. "Ugly truth."

Patton stood up abruptly, suddenly very sorry he had asked. "I'm gonna go." Making his own model train sounded nice. And it would go around and around in circles and all the people inside would have tea and coffee and little desserts and nobody would have to die.

"Hate to see you go," Remus sang, "love to watch you leave!"

"Uh, Remus?" Patton paused in the doorway, not quite able to look Remus in the eyes.

"Yes, daddy?"

Patton managed not to flinch. "This was… This was nice. Thank you." He turned to leave.

"Pretty lies!" Remus called as he went.

Patton didn't bother to correct him.

[kalimagik]

Don’t Walk Away

Harry Potter x Reader

Word Count: 2k

A/N: This lil piece of angst was requested by @queenofmankind​, I hope it breaks your heart(?) Harry angst always hits differently when I write for him. If anyone wants Harry fluff, please request it so that I have Harry fluff on my page (ahaha) If you enjoy reading, like, reblog, comment, follow! whatever you’d like! Happy reading, lovelies <3<3

Read Part 2!

Falling in love with Harry was easy. You had been doing it from the moment you met him. All the small glances, shy conversations, and moments of getting to know each other. When you started dating, it became even easier. He would surprise you with picnics next to Black Lake. Leave little gifts of chocolates or sweets on your bed in your dormitory, though you had no idea how they got there. Those late, late evenings cuddling in front of the Common Room fireplace. Even when he grabbed your hand in the corridors between classes, your heart soared.

You loved Harry Potter with all your heart and he loved you too…but only for some time. The changes were small enough at first that you thought maybe it could have been a slump. All relationships go through those.

“Hello, love,” you smiled as you sat down next to him at dinner one day. He seemed to be preoccupied, but school had been hard recently, so you understood. “Hi, Harry,” you repeated when he still hadn’t answered.

“Oh, hey Y/N/N. How has your day been?” he asked, even though he seemed to be looking for someone.

“It was alright. Snape was giving me a hard time, but it’s better now that I can spend some time with you,” you said, laying your head onto his shoulder. You may have needed to initiate it, but you had been craving his touch recently. You couldn’t seem to get enough of him. “How was yours?”

“I’m sorry to cut this short, Y/N. I have to work on this assignment with Hermione. I forgot about it. I’ll see you later, okay?”

Before you could get in a word edgewise, Harry had stood and walked away from the table. As you watched him go, you noticed that he caught up with Cho Chang right before he exited the Great Hall. But you thought that was funny because he and Cho hadn’t talked for weeks. You really didn’t think much of it until Hermione strode through the doors and to where you were sitting.

“Uhhh, why are you looking at me like that?” Hermione asked from across the table once she sat down.

“It’s nothing.” You shook your head, thinking you could put the incident out of your mind. You trusted Harry.

As the days continued, you tried to be with Harry as much as possible, even if it meant sharing your time with him with Ron and Hermione too. You did love to be with the both of them, but part of you just wanted him to yourself for a bit. Something was wrong though. Harry was distant. When he was sitting right next to you, he felt miles away.

The incident at dinner days before wasn’t a one-time thing. Harry seemed to be slipping from her fingers, he disappeared more often than a ghost. It was like he was becoming a ghost.

“Have you seen Harry?” You asked around the Common Room and library. Dean, Hermione, Katie Bell, Seamus, Fred and George, even Neville. None of them had seen him.

“Is he late again?” Hermione looked at you sadly.

You didn’t want your worries displayed for all the school to see. So, you gritted your teeth and smiled, “No. Just curious.” You weren’t just curious. You were supposed to hang out together, as in just the two of you, for the first time in weeks. Leaving Hermione, you wandered around the castle aimlessly. You had finished all of your assignments ahead of time so that you didn’t have anything to worry about when you hung out.

Your footsteps echoed in the hallways. The silence encased you like a sheet. That was until you heard someone giggling. It was soft and hidden. You inch forward to a corner, curious about who is there. Maybe you could tell Harry the gossip when you see him next. Before you could process anything, you flatten yourself against the wall right next to the corner where the two halls intersect. Was that Harry’s voice?

You feel you breathing get heavy as you listen to him joke, joke with…? You're right next to the corner, so close that you could take one step and be in full view of whoever was sitting there. Instead of exposing yourself, you turn your head ever so slightly, one eye able to see who it is in the outer edge of your periphery.

Cho. Cho Chang was sitting there with your boyfriend and she had more of his focused attention than you had had in weeks. You felt the first major crack in your heart, but you could patch it up right? Maybe Harry was just being sweet and found her crying or something. He was thoughtful like that.

You felt the cool stone against the back of your head as you shut your eyes. Maybe you were just torturing yourself at this point. You should probably go back to the Common Room. Yeah, the Common Room. That was good. You took off at a sprint, not caring how loud your feet were slapping against the floor.

You had already rounded a corner when you heard Harry calling, asking who was there. You didn’t want him to think that you were spying on him. That wasn’t your intention. You more like…stumbled upon him.

Out of breath and conflicted, you sank into the grass in the courtyard. The fresh air felt nice in your burning lungs. “Hello.” An airy voice startled you.

“Oh, Luna. Sorry, I didn’t realize you were out here.” You relaxed into the grass again as you picked at the blades.

“Something’s…off about you,” Luna observed out loud.

“I’m fine really,” you smiled. The fake on that graced your lips had been your favorite accessory as of late, at least when it came to Harry. Those three words to Luna made your decision for you. You were going to pretend that you didn’t see Harry and Cho. No one else did. You could work past this.

Your personal decision didn’t stop Luna from falling next to you in the grass. “You see that one?” she pointed up to a star.

“You mean the one who’s light is dwindling?” you scoffed. Realizing that you were lashing out at the wrong person, you turned to Luna. “I’m sorry. Tell me about it?”

“My father says that when that happens, at any day, it could start to burn brighter than all the others around it. It’s just waiting for its moment. Either that or the nargles just make it appear to be so.”

The giggle that left you lips was utterly and completely refreshing. It was happiness.

“Thank you, Luna,” you whispered.

“I did nothing. Just shared a fact.”

After hearing about Luna’s other theories about the stars, you felt better. Not healed, but better. “it could start to burn brighter…it’s just waiting for its moment.” Those words swirled around your head as you moved through the next few days. You saw Harry more and he suddenly seemed to be more attentive. Grabbing your hand in the hallways again, sitting with you through meals. It felt nice, but that image of Cho with him sat in the back of your mind.

Then, things went straight downhill. You felt like everyone knew something that you didn’t. Whether it be the people watching your every move as you walked up to Harry or seemed to be sizing you up.

“Hermione, is it just me, or is everyone acting weird?” you asked one night in the library.

She seemed fidgety and didn’t want to meet your eyes. “What do you know?” you demanded.

“There’s kind of this poll about whether you are the one for Harry or not. I tried to tell everyone to knock it off, but no one would listen. Harry doesn’t know anything about it either.” Hermione spilled in a slew of words.

“They’re what?” You were speechless.

“It was a bunch of Ravenclaw girls. Do you know why they would do this?”

Why, oh why was it in you to keep everything to yourself?

“No…I don’t.” you looked back at your book, not seeing the words but instead Cho and Harry together in your head.

The time he spent with you was gone. There was no more hand holding in the hallways. You wanted to and tried to reach for him, but he was too far out of reach. That break in her heart grew the further away he seemed. It wasn’t until you walked into Arithmancy, which you had with Cho, when you saw the tiny little gift box on the desk. She’d seen that wrapping paper many times before, sitting on your bed. Hope fluttered in your chest.

You confidently walked to the desk where the gift was sitting. No one else was in the room yet, but you didn’t need anyone to see something that was special between you and Harry. Picking up the small parcel, you grinned, grinned from ear to ear. This was the moment that everything would be fixed and get better.

You saw the little tag on it, looking to see your name with that cute little heart. Harry was terrible at drawing them and you teased him for it, but that only made him draw them more.

‘Cho’

Your smile faded slowly. You meant to just sit the little gift down on the desk, but instead you practically threw it. It wasn’t even sitting upright anymore. You backed away slowly, it was as if the gift was a cursed object. But it was cursed, maybe not with magic, but it was cursed. It was the knife that tore her heart in two.

The door opened and shut again. Professor Vector walked in and greeted you. You couldn’t leave once the professor walked in. Then other students started to file into the classroom. You slunk to the back row, knowing that Hermione would join soon, but when Cho walked in and saw the gift, it was too much. You didn’t care what Professor Vector thought, the moment Cho picked up the gift, you rushed out of the room.

You were a blur past Hermione at the door. You didn’t stop when she called after you and tried to follow. You didn’t stop when Filch screamed at you for running through the halls and tried to give you detention. You didn’t stop until you were on your hands and knees next to Black Lake.

The pounding in your head was too much, you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t hear anything over your heart breaking into a million pieces, but somehow, for some reason, you still loved him. Despite all the hurt and heartbreak, you still loved Harry. Why? That’s what you couldn’t wrap your mind around in the midst of a full blown panic attack. It’s crazy what the mind chooses to hyper fixate on.

You felt another presence next to you, but you didn’t want to look up. You were at a low point and over a boy.

“Y/N?” Harry’s voice carried on the wind. “Are you okay? I saw you running in the castle.”

You could only look at him, dumbfounded. He was playing innocent? You wanted to yell and scream and hit him for being so daft. So stupid!

“What’s going on with you?”

You picked one of your hands up off the grass to wipe your tears before you could speak. You still wanted to scream, but you didn’t have the energy for it, so you conceded to the only thing on your mind. “You had to give it to her during a class I had with her, didn’t you?”

“What are you-” Harry’s eyes grew when he realized his mistake. “I- I d-didn’t realize-”

“You don’t love me anymore, do you, Har? Not the way that I love you…” Your words were softer than a whisper, each one a knife in your own heart.

You watch Harry’s face for a sign or an answer, but he avoids your gaze. The grass is suddenly much more interesting than your distraught figure, still not breathing evenly.

“I don’t want you to walk away from me. I thought for so long that you could be my forever, Har. But, I’m not that for you.” You spoke for him. You wanted him to interject and jump in and tell you that everything you said wasn’t true. “I saw you with her. Joking, making her laugh. I know you heard me too. I was the one who ran away.”

“I don’t know what to say, Y/N/N.”

“Stop, don’t call me that.” You shook your head. He wasn’t going to say what you wanted him to. It was the end, you knew it. You couldn’t let it go on any longer. You couldn’t stand to let your heart break over and over again, hoping he would just fix it. “Harry. Please go.”

He didn’t say anything, he just stood up and walked away and your heart was broken.

[corpseblouse]

banana milk

warnings!!: none, fluff, sfw!, enemies to lovers (if you squint really really hard)

pairing: kageyama and y/n

description: you and kageyama weren’t particularly close, but you often notice his lingering stares and reluctant touches towards you. after an awkward moment at a vending machine, you finally decide to confront Kageyama about his recent behaviors.

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the school bell rang through you and your classmate’s ears, indicating a desperately needed break. you feel the class become livelier, finally being able to escape the boredom of their school studies. you pack your bag, hoping to get to the vending machine before the line gets unbearably long.

you sling your backpack onto your shoulder, and scurry past people still packing their bags. you walk through the halls, silently humming a tune stuck in your head from the radio playing on your way to school. your humming stops once you round the corner towards the vending machine, that’s when you see the line. it’s not necessarily unbearable, but your impatience is what dampers your mood.

as you near the back of the line, you spot kageyama. you and him weren’t necessarily friends, but you did often notice his hesitance around you. in the halls, he’ll avoid any form of eye contact and greeting you direct his way. in class, he refuses to partner up even when you both are assigned to each other. at this point, you’re convinced he hates you.

you stand behind him in line, foot lightly tapping against the ground. you see kageyama visibly tense and straighten his back, noticing your presence behind him. you cock one of your eyebrows, already annoyed with his behavior.

the line moves pretty quickly, quicker than you had expected. you grin and straighten your posture as kageyama steps up in front of the vending machine and presses a couple buttons. his drink falls out of it’s place and lands into the pick up box, he grabs the drink and quickly moves out of the way to let you through.

you let out a low sigh, finally able to get the banana milk you’ve been craving all morning. you scan through the options, trying to look for your beloved banana milk. unfortunately, you come to realize that the banana milk has sold out. a pout forms on your lips as you slowly walk away from the vending machine, disappointed.

you stop sulking for a second and look up from the ground, you notice kageyama leaning against the wall poking a straw through what looks like... banana milk?!

before you know it, your feet are carrying you towards where the black haired boy was standing. although there was a significant height difference between the two of you, you still stood tall and confident; willing to do anything to persuade him out of that banana milk.

“excuse me, do you want that banana milk by any chance?” you ask, pointing your finger at the carton of milk in his hands.

you faintly see a blush creeping up on kageyama’s cheeks, spreading to his neck and ears. his stare is cold, but you still held the same amount of confidence you walked in with.

“um... i bought it, didn’t i?” he asks, confused and slightly flustered.

“yes... but they’re all sold out at the vending machine and i really really wanted one.” you press, poking your lip out slightly; trying to at least win him over with your cuteness.

“that doesn’t really sound like my problem,” he deadpans, looking away from you and finally sticking the straw through the drink.

“are you really going to watch me drink this?” he questions, feeling fidgety under your intense gaze.

you huff, feeling defeated once you realize you won’t get through to him. your pout deepens and you walk away from him, deciding to find some other drink to fulfill your banana milk craving.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

today was pretty tough for you, ever since the ‘banana milk incident’ everything was beginning to go downhill. you didn’t study for an upcoming math test, you fell asleep during your chemistry class, and worst of all you didn’t get your banana milk!

you were frustrated and already over everything, you just want to get to your bed and snuggle your pillow— pretending it’s a reciprocating human. you walk absentmindedly through the halls, just trying to gather your thoughts and get to the front gates of the school. but, you realize that the halls were pretty empty.

everyone probably went home already, you thought.

you start nearing the front entrance of the school, and spot kageyama retrieving a large sports bag from his locker. your eyes widen slightly as your legs start picking up the pace, you were finally going to call him out on his treatment towards you.

“hey, tobio!” You call out, tightening both hands on the straps of your backpack.

you notice the same pink tint spreading across kageyama’s cheeks, you head slightly cocks to the side confused on why he may be feeling flustered. You stop right in front of him, but he still keeps his gaze at the inside of his locker.

“hello...” you drag out, once again calling out to him.

“yes, y/n.” he says, eyes never leaving his locker, but his grip on the handle becoming slightly tighter.

“why are you like this around me?” you blurt out, not even caring to sugar coat your words.

“like what?” he says, grip slightly softening but his eyes still glued to the locker.

“like this you rarely look at me, you always have this put-off nature around me, did I do something wrong?” you question, with a frown deepening on your face.

kageyama sighs, closing his locker. he shifts his feet, finally facing you and meeting your eyes.

“it’s not you... it’s me-“

“now is not the time for cheesy movie lines!” you whine out, being too impatient to hear his explanation.

kageyama moves closer to you, a newfound confidence showing through his fluid movements. be slowly brings his hand up to your face, gently holding your chin with his fore and thumb finger. you feel your cheeks suddenly get hot, a pink stain adoring the apples of your cheeks. his fingers feel rough, must be from the late night volleyball practices.

“kageyama...” you trail off, feeling the words getting stuck in your throat all of a sudden.

“as I was saying,” he teases, slightly tilting your chin up to meet your gaze once more.

“i never intended to act this way towards you... it’s just...” he all of a sudden loses his confidence and drops his hand from your chin.

you pout slightly, wanting to feel his warm touch again. you feel oh so tempted to grab his hand and place it back onto your face, nuzzling into his warmth.

“just what?” you press, desperately wanting an answer.

kageyama sighs, once again, finally giving in to you.

“i.. i’ve had a crush on you for a while now.” he mutters out.

your eyebrows furrow, barely being able to decipher his deep mutters.

“come again?” you question.

“i like you.” he says, louder this time.

your eyes widen hearing the words come out of his mouth. although it wasn’t something surprising after the affection touches being made just seconds before, it was still rather surprising and a lot for you to take in.

“r-really?” you question, stepping closer towards him. you never really found a particular interest in kageyama, but you weren’t particularly opposed to things escalating between the two of you.

“yeah...” he trails off.

“if you don’t like me back, then that’s totally okay! i just didn’t want you to think that I hated you or anything, i don’t think i could ever hate you actually. i’m just horrible at expressing any type of feeling sometimes and gah, am i rambling?” he nervously runs his hand down his face after his tangent, feeling embarrassed hearing your sweet giggles ring through his ears.

“i like you too,” you say, a faint smile on your face. althought this was a scenario you were not prepared for, you still found yourself developing a crush on kageyama as the time passed.

the both of you decided to hang out by the vending machines, a ‘mini-date’ as you called it. you both scan the options, and your gaze falls on banana milk.

you gasp, pointing to the filled slot, “they re-stocked the banana milk!” you say excitedly, bending over to reach inside of your bag for your leftover money from lunch.

as you’re rummaging through your bag, you hear the noise of an item falling into the pickup box. still bent over, you crane your neck to see kageyama holding a carton of banana milk out for you to take.

you stand upright, beaming brightly at the offer. “reparations for the banana milk earlier.” he says shyly, a small smile curling up on his face.

“i could kiss you right now, tobio.” you tease, taking the banana milk from him.

“then why don’t you?”

© all works belong to corpseblouse 2021, do not repost or modify.

[wicked-mind]

Spark: Chapter Three

Summary: Y/N and Damon were apart of a Hydra experiment for over a decade until they escaped. When power outages through towns along with bodies of murdered Hydra agents start popping up across the country, Y/N becomes Bucky’s mission.

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: Bits of violence, memories of torture

Series Masterlist

All Writings Masterlist

*gifs not mine

Chapter Three - We all need to talk

Bucky managed to watch the rest of the movie unmoving, not wanting to disturb Y/N who was still sleeping on his shoulder. He watched the credits roll along the TV screen, reading each line as they passed. He didn’t want to move, he didn’t want to ruin the moment he was stuck in. Bucky felt almost normal for the first time in his long life as he sat there on the couch with Y/N asleep on his shoulder and a dog on the other side of him. But he quickly snapped out of his daydream when Sarge perked his big fluffy head up, “What’s up, boy?” Bucky asked the dog in a hushed tone as to not disturb Y/N.

Sarge stood on the couch, looking at the curtain covered window behind Bucky for a moment before jumping off the couch and going to the door. Bucky quickly noted that the hair on Sarge had stood up, making his brow furrow. He scooted himself up and away from his spot on the couch, gently shifting Y/N into a laying position without disturbing her sleep. Bucky walks to the window and moved the curtain to peak out, seeing a black van sitting outside. The owner of the van must’ve seen him peaking out the curtain as well because the van sped away down the road. It was at that moment Bucky decided he would be spending the night at Y/N’s house, concerned about who was in the van and what could’ve happened to Y/N if he wasn’t here. He walked over to Y/N’s DVD collection, finding the second movie of the Alien series and popping it into the DVD player as quietly as he could. He pushed play on the remote before taking Sarge’s spot on the couch, looking over at Y/N as she slept soundly before returning his focus to the TV knowing he wouldn’t be able to get much sleep tonight.

It was early morning hours, about 4:30 AM, when Y/N woke up with a gasp. Even the presence of Bucky couldn’t keep her nightmares away. She sat up, staring wide-eyed at Bucky as if she didn’t recognize him. She fell off the couch in an attempt to get away from him, scooting herself into the corner of the living room and curled up into as much as a ball as she could facing away from him. Sarge, knowing what was happening, kept his distance as to not be shocked but close enough that he could whine gently at Y/N to calm down.

The sudden jolt of Y/N waking up made Bucky jump as well, he wasn’t expecting her to be awake so suddenly. He watched her as she looked at him with terrified eyes, standing quickly when she fell off the couch and scooted away, “Hey, Y/N.” He said gently with his hands up to show he was non threatening, “It’s me… Bucky.” He said as he slowly walked towards her curled up figure.

Y/N looked up at Bucky still wide-eyed, shaking her head quickly, “Please…” She whimpers out, “Don’t take me back… Don’t hurt me…” Tears had started to form in her eyes and started to slowly drip down her red cheeks.

Bucky had never seen someone look so terrified as Y/N was curled up in the corner. It made him angry that something had happened to make her go into a frantic state like this, it was the total opposite of what she was usually like. He kneeled down in front of her, “Nobody is taking you anywhere,” He said, reaching a hand out to touch her, “I promi-“ As soon as he touched her, he felt a jolt of electricity go through his body that made him back away quickly from her. Yup, she was definitely an enhanced human with the ability to create strong currents of electricity. Bucky quickly realized touching her wasn’t going to work to snap her out of it and he would have to try something else, “Okay, no touching.” He muttered, “Hey, Y/N, remember last night? I brought you some soup and we had some drinks together. Then you showed me your favorite movie, Alien. I watched the second one without you, I hope that’s alright.”

Y/N was breathing hard as she looked at Bucky, her finger tips crackling with streaks of blue electricity. She tilted her head slightly at him as he spoke, then looks back to the TV to see the main menu for Aliens on the screen. It slowly started to come back to her where she was and what was going on, but then she snapped her gaze back to Bucky as the electricity from her fingers sizzled away, “Oh my god, Bucky! I’m so so sorry!” She said softly, uncurling herself from the wall and leaned towards him a little, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

Bucky sighs in relief as Y/N seemed back to normal, not knowing what else he could try if that didn’t work, “I’m alright, just a little shocked literally and figuratively.” He told her, holding his hand out to help her up from the floor and guided her back to the couch where Y/N took a seat. Bucky sat down by her, watching her curiously. At least now he could ask her questions about being an enhanced human and maybe more about how she was tangled with Hydra, “You literally electrocuted me, how is that possible?”

Y/N bit her lip, knowing questions were coming. She sat still on the couch, her eyes flickering between Bucky and her hands, “I don’t know.. It started when I was about ten years old…” She began, watching him for his reactions, “My parents got rid of me after they found out, sent me to a psychiatric facility when I was thirteen because they thought I was a witch or possessed. I got discharged and put into foster care and eventually adopted… It all went downhill from there.” She muttered out the last part, not really wanting to get into it unless he asked her. She didn’t know what she would say. How could she tell Bucky, a guy she was currently having a crush on, that she had been given up by her adoptive family to be tortured for an organization that seemed made up? Y/N didn’t want to sound crazy and scare him away. She chewed on her lip persistently, waiting for him to speak.

Bucky nodded, knowing the story already from the briefing he had before he came into Y/N’s life but it was good to hear her version, “You said don’t take me back… you looked traumatized saying don’t hurt me. What happened, Y/N?” He asks, curious to hear what really happened while she was gone after she fell off the grid. He needed to know more about her and especially more about Damon. He needed to understand how Y/N got mixed up with Damon and why he was murdering Hydra agents.

Y/N sighs, that was the question she didn’t want asked and hoped with just the small amount of information would be enough to suffice Bucky’s curiosity but somewhere inside her she knew it wouldn’t, “When the adoption was finalized and social workers didn’t need to come check up on me anymore, these men with accents took me to Washington. They put me in a cell in a bunker with a silver collar around my neck to steal the electricity I could produce… When they needed electricity to power the facility and their experiments, the collar would have sharp prongs that’d dig into my neck and cause me to create electricity….” She gently touched the scars on her neck from the prongs as she talked about them before continuing, “I was there alone for a long time until Damon and Stefan were put in the cells across from mine, they were brothers. The people who brought me there would take Damon and Stefan away sometimes… One day Stefan didn’t come back and we were told he died as part of an experiment. We were there for ten years together, isolated and alone.” She looked down at the floor where Sarge had came to lay below her, “Damon said they injected him with something that enhanced every ability he had including speed and strength and then he told me they were talking about brainwashing him… I panicked and released a large surge of electricity until the power blew in the facility and Damon and I escaped…” She slowly turned her gaze to Bucky, knowing she must sound insane to him, “That’s why Damon is in Washington, he goes to look for Stefan’s body every year. And ever since we escaped, the people who took me have been trying to get Damon and I back.”

Bucky slowly nodded at the story. He finally had answers as to what happened to Y/N and from the sound of it, Damon was a super soldier like him. He couldn’t help but feel anger and sadness for both Y/N and Damon. He had been in a similar situation before when he was taken by Hydra, turned into a brainwashed super soldier experiment and forced to kill but at least Y/N didn’t have the guilt of murder on her hands, “I’m so sorry that happened to you, Y/N. I’ve been through some similar things…” He thought about his next words carefully before deciding he had to say something true about himself, “I was also a Hydra experiment, Y/N. That’s the people who did those awful things to you.”

Y/N narrowed and her brow pulled together at his words, tilting her head, “You… You were an experiment too?” She repeats his words before her eyes widened slightly, “Is-is that why you’ve been hanging out with me? Pretending to enjoy my presence?” She stood suddenly, taking a few steps away from Bucky, “Are you here to take me back to them or for your own use? Because I’m not a battery! And I won’t ever be a prisoner again!” She shouted towards him, her finger tips starting to spark electricity again.

Bucky quickly threw his hands up in a non threatening manner again at her sudden hostility but he understood where it came from. During the most important years of Y/N’s life, she was taken prisoner, kept isolated away from other people and taught not to trust anybody besides Damon, something nobody should have to go through but yet Y/N came out alive and kind which fascinated Bucky even more, “No, Y/N!” He told her in a stern voice, “I honestly like hanging out with you. I definitely do not work with Hydra in any aspect. I was sent here because somebody has been ripping out Hydra agent’s hearts and snapping their necks which I figure is Damon’s doing. I had to come see if there was a problem and why Hydra was snooping around.” Y/N clenched her jaw a little, her teeth gritting together slightly as she listened to him. But something about the way Bucky was looking at her made her trust him. He had pain in his eyes as well and it reflected the own pain that was inside of her, “Damon was just trying to protect me… They don’t stop, they never do. They’re always waiting around every corner and find me anywhere I go.” She told him, the electricity in her fingers disappearing as she calmed down. She moved back to sit on the couch beside Bucky but continued to watch him carefully.

Bucky felt relief again as Y/N seemed to calm down and her hostility towards him seemed to fade. The last thing he wanted to do was become an enemy towards her and someone she couldn’t trust in her life, “I know, I was chased for a long time too and Hydra made me do awful things.” He sighed, feeling like he had to share his story now to show she could trust him, “In the 19040’s, I was taken by Hydra. They had already turned me into a super soldier, like your friend Damon, but they brainwashed me successfully and used me as a weapon for decades until 2014. I’m 106 years old, doll.”

Y/N’s jaw dropped at Bucky’s words, “Oh my god..” She managed to say before giving him an apologetic look, “I’m so sorry, Bucky. That’s awful. I’m sorry.” She said, reaching out a hand to squeeze his arm without realizing what she was doing. It was just instinct for Y/N to try and be there for others, be kind and Bucky Barnes was no different.

Bucky’s lips curved into a small smile, he couldn’t help it. The way Y/N was instinctively kind made him feel some sort of hope inside him for something better for him. If she could live through the trauma she went through, maybe he could too and come out a better person like Y/N had. Just as Bucky was about to speak, the moment was ruined as Damon strolled on in through the door.

Damon’s eyes flickered between the two, narrowing at the sight. He wasn’t expecting this, he had expected to see Y/N alone curled up with her dog. Then he noticed the dry tear trails on Y/N’s face, causing him to frown and in an instant he grabbed Bucky by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against a wall, “What did you do?!” He growled out at Bucky.

Y/N’s eyes widened as Damon slammed Bucky into the wall, “Damon, stop!” She yelled at him but Damon didn’t back off. She quickly stood, watching it unfold. Bucky used his vibranium arm to grab onto Damon’s wrist, twisting it and pushing him away. That didn’t stop Damon from coming at Bucky again which caused Bucky to land a punch to Damon’s cheek causing him to fall backwards onto the floor.

“Bucky!” Y/N yelled this time, watching as Damon got back up and walked towards Bucky with anger all over his complexion. Y/N got between the two dark haired men before they could make contact with each other again, placing her palms on each of their chests to stop them from getting any closer to each other, “Hey, knock it off or I swear to god I’m going to shock both of you to the point you see tweety birds around your heads.” She turned to Damon, “I’m fine, Damon.” Y/N turned to look at Bucky, taking a deep breath, “I think we all need to talk.”

__________________________________________________________

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[official-weasley]

Meant to Be (Charlie Weasley x OC)

What happens when Bill brings home a girl and Charlie is completely awestruck by her?

WARNINGS: cursing, mentions of alcohol, struggling with self-love, emotional self-destructive behavior, and mentions of mental health problems

Chapter 19

Rhylee

“I am so glad that you’re a Muggle-born.” I shifted on my heel, turning away from the mirror to Lyla who was laying in her bed, her head resting on her crossed arms, her eyes on me.

“I don’t think anyone has ever said that to me.” Confusion creased her face. “It’s supposed to be a compliment, right?”

“Yes.” I grinned at her. “If you weren’t Muggle-born, you wouldn’t know about therapy, and the therapist you recommended me might have just saved my life.” By inhaling sharply I turned back to the mirror and stared at my figure.

“It’s been all you, darling. You have to want help to actually gain something from therapy.” I locked my eyes with hers in the mirror.

I loved nothing more than her friendly smile. She was the best friend I could ask for and I am the luckiest person alive for her not to give up on me.

“I know.” I turned around to look at my arse.

“Can you stop checking yourself out in the mirror? The dress looks great on you!” She rolled her eyes at me.

“I don’t know.” I pouted. “Perhaps the blue one would be better.”

“You do realize that we have been doing nothing else but picking your dress for the last two days.” She smirked at me.

“Don’t give me that face! I’m nervous, okay!” I stomped my foot against the floor as if angry.

In reality, I was just hoping to calm down my nerves.

“It’s time to move on, Rhylee. You said it yourself that your therapist said it’s time you forgive yourself.” She stood up and took the blue dress which was hanging over the dresser door and took it off the hanger. “But just in case, try this one again.” She winked.

I appreciated how supportive she was. She was all I had left.

I was such a mess. I still can’t believe that I let myself get so low. I hit rock bottom and then went even deeper. It’s a miracle what 6 months of therapy can do for a person. How do wizards not have that!

Perhaps, they are afraid of the pain that it brings. Because it was painful. Especially the first few sessions when the therapist is getting to know you and you start figuring out what your problem is. I knew what it was. I just couldn’t get over it.

Everybody telling me it was an accident doesn’t just make the guilt disappear. It doesn’t make you feel better. You don’t just forget about it. When you do what I did, you don’t just move on. But as I learned from my sessions, you can’t blame yourself forever either. Forgiveness and loving myself was something that was missing from my life.

It’s crazy to think that so many people around you keep telling you that it wasn’t your fault and that you can’t just go around and search for things that will make you miserable just to punish yourself and you never believe them and always brush it off. But when you hear it from someone specialized to tell you things like this, you suddenly think that maybe, just maybe all your friends were right.

Of course, it didn’t happen overnight and I even tried convincing Dr. Whitmoore that I will never stop blaming myself for what happened in my seventh year at Beauxbatons but I got there…eventually.

“So what are you going to say to him?” Lyla asked as she zipped the dress for me.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” I bit my cheek. “I don’t even know if he’ll want to talk to me.”

“Right.” She raised her eyebrows at me and laid back on her bed. “Are we going to go through this again?”

“I’m serious! I’m just going there to celebrate the love between two people.” I finally stopped looking at myself in the mirror.

I still don’t know which dress to pick.

“Mhm.” Lyla nodded once. “Let’s pretend that you have been picking out a dress for this wedding because you want to be there for Bill when he says his ‘I do’ with his future wife.”

“It’s…the main reason.” I proudly lifted my chin.

“Stop lying to yourself, love. This is all about Charlie Weasley.” She sent me a wink, got up, and went to the bathroom.

She was right. It was all about Charlie. There is no point in denying it any further. It has been all about him ever since Bill brought me home to meet his family for Christmas. I still remember the moment we were introduced as if it was yesterday.

He enchanted me the moment I sat down opposite him. With his smile and eyes full of passion about the creatures we both worked with. I know he wasn’t doing it on purpose but he was so flirty. With his eyes, his gestures. I just couldn’t stop staring at him.

And the feeling, the feeling I got while talking to him. I never felt that before and it was so strange. I knew Bill for years and here I was talking to his younger brother and it was as if someone ignited a fire between us. And the strangest part was that I am certain he felt it too.

The second I allowed the feeling to overwhelm me, fill my body with energy like nothing ever did before, my past came back to haunt me. I couldn’t sleep that night. The nightmares came back. Sweat running down my temples. I was glad Ginny was a heavy sleeper, she would think I was insane. Nobody in England knew my secret. It was the reason I ran away.

I buried the feelings, guilt and constant need to punish myself, make myself suffer and got the job at Gringotts. I was doing great for 3 years. I was quite proud of myself. I wasn’t hurting anyone and I didn’t let anyone get too close to me.

I allowed myself a fling here and there and I was happy with the way my life was. I could totally see myself doing this for the rest of my life and I was completely fine with it.

I was lying to everybody including myself when I said I didn’t know Bill fancied me but I ignored it, hoping he would move on if I seemed uninterested. Not that I wouldn’t want to date him. Are you serious, it’s Bill freaking Weasley, who wouldn’t want to date him!

But I made a promise to myself. I couldn’t. I knew what a good guy he was and I couldn’t allow myself to be happy. I didn’t deserve it.

I never expected him to get hurt because of my foolishness. Getting drunk and having sex with Charlie was a big mistake that I shouldn’t have allowed. Not that it wasn’t good, damn it was great and I let myself go and forgot about everything just for one night. Charlie had that effect on me. He made me forget about my worries and my troubles, even if just for a little while.

And how stupid it was of me to flirt with him the morning after and telling him it wasn’t just a one-night stand. What was I thinking! I should’ve just ignored the situation and moved on. But I couldn’t and I hated that I couldn’t. Something was pulling me closer to him. The curiosity of getting to know him better. To hear him talk about dragons. To feel his touch again. His lips against mine. His breath on my skin.

I had zero control over myself and I couldn’t stop it even if I wanted to. Of course, the aftermath was something I didn’t expect. Bill asking me out was the last thing I wanted and then I was stupid enough to tell him I slept with his brother. The look on his face, telling me just how much I hurt him broke my heart.

I broke my promise of not hurting anyone and everything from my past came rushing back up. I didn’t dare to ask Bill if he and Charlie talked about the whole situation. I was even surprised when only a month later Bill started speaking to me again. I definitely thought I didn’t deserve that.

After that, things calmed down again and I hoped that I could put it all behind me again. I bottled everything down before, I can do it again, right?

Wrong.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Charlie and it was driving me mad. Lyla, Lizzie, and I got drunk one night and they teased me and said that I should go work in Romania to be with him. My dumb arse actually wrote an application and we sent it that night. The second I realized what I have done in the morning I applied for the American Sanctuary too to calm the guilty feeling in my chest.

I can’t be trusted when I’m drunk. I relax too much and forget about my past and make mistakes like having sex with Charlie at the Burrow and then my actions hurt people and I feel even worse.

But the second I got the reply, seeing how excited they were to work with me I got so conflicted. They were offering me my dream job but I wanted to stop myself from accepting it because I knew Charlie worked there. I couldn’t face him, not even after more than a year.

However, I couldn’t get rid of the feeling the excitement brought me either. I just had to see him again. I wanted to talk to him and tell him everything. I accepted the job anyway, despite my better judgment. I was selfish, I know that now. I should never have done it, my mind being in a state as it was back then.

I don’t think I was ever so nervous as I was when I was standing in front of the Sanctuary gate. I tried calming myself down by thinking that perhaps I will work in an entirely different section than him and we even won’t see each other.

I couldn’t believe how wrong I was when I saw him approaching the gate. I wanted to apparate away, be swallowed by the ground below me, be fed to a dragon. I knew I made another mistake the second I saw the look on his face.

I know he wasn’t expecting me to stand there, how could he. It pained me to know that he wasn’t exactly happy to see me but at the same time, it gave me confidence. Perhaps, we can work side by side with each other and simply be friends.

The fact that I am never right about these things and usually the opposite happens could already tell me that it was only going to go downhill from there.

I tried staying away from him but I was pushing myself into him just as much. I just couldn’t help myself. In a different life, if I wasn’t as fucked up as I was, we could’ve been so happy together. I knew that and it hurt so much knowing that. What hurt, even more, was the look in his eyes every time we exchanged looks.

I knew how he felt, I knew he was falling for me and it was wrong. It was so wrong and I felt so helpless knowing I can’t do anything about it because I felt the exact same way. I was falling for him so fast that I didn’t even have the time to stop myself and at some point, I simply gave up trying.

The fact that everything that was happening between us was happening while I had a boyfriend waiting patiently for me to visit him once every 14 days made me an even worse person. I never wanted any of it to happen.

I knew I did the right thing finally giving in to all the nagging and going out with Nick. He was the only man I saw a future with because I knew how wrong he was for me but it was exactly what I deserved. An idiot without an ounce of empathy or feelings for anyone else but himself. For me, it was a match made in heaven and I knew that nobody would understand why I thought so.

I knew what I deserved. I wanted to be punished. I wanted bad things to happen to me so I could finally redeem myself for what I have done all those years ago. But nobody understood why I was doing it. Why be with a guy who doesn’t even make you happy instead of someone loving and kind?

Lyla got into so many fights with me over this. Many more than Charlie did. I know he couldn’t wrap his head around it. He caught me crying so many times because of Nick, because of my guilt, because of his gestures that told me just how much he cared for me.

And what did I do? I got drunk and had sex with him. Way to go, Rhylee! Way to break so many hearts, you idiotic bitch!

That night we spent together was the most beautiful night of my life. It showed me how happy I could be with him. How much joy he could bring me. He showed me my future with him and all I could think about was how wrong it was. How I have to run away from everything. What a horrible person I was to do this to him.

There was a moment when I thought about telling him everything but stopped at the last second. Truth be told, there were many moments like this and he knew it. He knew I had so many things I wanted to say to him but simply couldn’t. I was a coward, locked inside a loop of my own mind.

What I did at Beauxbatons was still haunting me at the time. The fact that everybody forgave me haunted me. That I begged the Ministry to send me to Azkaban and they laughed at my plea, telling me that people don’t go to prison for making a simple mistake.

That’s what they called it. A simple mistake.

A simple mistake that almost ruined my life and because of which I made so many people around me suffer. They just didn’t see it as I did and I knew they never would. But did that give me closure? Did that make me stop feeling sorry for myself and move on with my life?

No.

I was determined that if they weren’t going to punish me and lock me up, I will do it to myself. I wanted to completely destroy my life for it and be miserable as much as I can be. I will date a guy I know doesn’t love me and pretend I can’t hear the screaming voice inside my head telling me to be with Charlie because he’s the one.

He has been from the moment we shook hands and started talking about dragons.

I closed all the doors that could bring me happiness. I tried so hard to stay away yet I couldn’t. Yet I hurt him and Bill and even Nick in the process. They all suffered because I wanted to bring pain to myself.

How fucked up is that?

All because I just couldn’t stay away. No matter how destructive my mind was, no matter how much I was telling myself that I don’t deserve someone like Charlie, my body and my heart were guiding me right to him and I didn’t have the strength to stop it.

A few weeks after I told Nick and he told me that I have to stay away from Charlie, something broke in me. I couldn’t do it anymore. I made Charlie so miserable and my heart shattered every time I saw him. The longing in his eyes to save me. To do something to make me feel better.

I was completely aware of the fact that I let myself go. I isolated myself, barely ate anything, and tried to work on Kyan’s case so that I would do one thing right in my fucking pathetic life.

I was naïve to think that would do the trick. That Charlie would finally let me go. Move on. Find a nice girl and settle down with her. Be happy. That’s what he deserved. That’s what I wanted for him, ignoring the fact that I wanted to be his girl more than I wanted anything in my entire life.

But he didn’t. He didn’t want to give up on me.

So I did the only thing I thought would help him move on. I left. I didn’t want to, but I did. The second Nick opened the door, me standing there with all my bags, I knew what a mistake I’ve made.

For the first time in years, I thought that perhaps I suffered enough. Perhaps it was time to stop tormenting myself. I made a decision to stay overnight and then go back to the Sanctuary and beg Peter for my job back.

That night we fought and I suddenly started to feel dizzy and everything turned black. I woke up at St Mungo’s the next day and all my plans to return to Romania fell through when the healers told me I was pregnant.

I knew I couldn’t run now. I sealed my destiny and serves me right for doing so. I brought it on myself and since I was so convinced that I deserve a life full of misery the pregnancy was just perfect. Ironic but perfect.

I didn’t expect Charlie to come to the trial. I hoped he wouldn’t come. I just left without saying goodbye and I thought that would make him mad enough for never wanting to talk to me again. But there he was and he stopped me from fleeing.

He kept pressuring me to tell him the truth. I hated how well he could read me. How well he knew I was lying and yet I fed him more lies. I already knew the pain that he must’ve felt at that moment. How confused he must’ve been for me just disappearing, for acting like I don’t care about him.

I know he needed answers and Merlin knows he deserved them more than anyone but I couldn’t. I needed him to move on. It was too late for the whole truth. It wouldn’t have done either of us any good. I was carrying Nick’s baby and there was nothing he could do about that.

If I wasn’t pregnant I know I would’ve told him everything. I wanted to return to the Sanctuary for him for fuck’s sake. But it was too late now and he needed to know that so I told him about the baby. Just reminiscing on it makes me want to throw up. The pain in his eyes when he was trying to comprehend what came out of my mouth.

The painful goodbye when he wished for me to have a good life, knowing full well that it’s probably the last time he will ever hold me in his arms. It was good closure in a fucked up kind of way. If someone with so many mental issues wrote a fairytale I am certain it would make perfect sense.

I was fighting every muscle in my body not to go after him once he started to walk away. I knew that was it. He finally did it. He is going to move on and be happy. I regretted putting him through what I did, I still do. But at least he will be able to forget about me by hating me. It was for the best.

He deserves so much better than me. Someone who will love him unconditionally and bring a smile to his face and flutter the butterflies in his stomach not put him through the shit I put him through.

I finally got what I wanted. The punishment I thought I deserved. All my self-destructive behavior finally paid off. I was pregnant and living with a man that I despised. Welcome to my bloody fairytale!

If it wasn’t for Lyla, being the best friend she is, I would probably do much worse than hurt myself mentally. She was the one that opened my eyes and got me a therapist without even asking about my opinion.

After my first session, I decided to tell her everything. What I did, what Dr. Whitmoore and I talked about. Everything. We cried, sitting on her bed for hours. She couldn’t believe I hated myself so much to do these things to myself but in the end, she told me she understood why I tried so desperately to punish myself.

I felt relief knowing she understood and still wanted to be my friend. I was so lucky to have her. I don’t even want to think where I would be if it wasn’t for her.

A/N: I know that what Rhylee is dealing with can't be solved with 6 months worth of therapy as is stated in the story. I needed to fit it in the timeline to align everything with Bill's wedding and is the only reason why I picked 6 months. One of my best friends has a Ph.D. in psychotherapy and she told me that with everything Rhylee has been through (to be revealed in tomorrow's chapter) it is very unrealistic that she would be as fine as I wrote her to be - I am fully aware of that. I apologize if I made anyone uncomfortable with it or if anyone finds it offensive in any way.

[jetaime-jespere]

Prompt #200/105

Aaron never expected to run into his boss’s daughter in a dive bar.

But then again, Emily Prentiss was never exactly predictable.

It’s a Tuesday, the first night off he’s had in almost ten days. He’s learned quickly that working for an Ambassador is glamorous in name only. In practice, it’s typically uneventful, sometimes almost mind-numbing and boring. But it’s a foot in the door, the salary better than what he was making at his last position, and for the time being, he has to ride it out. Bide his time, climb the ladder until something better comes along.

But after ten days of work, he’s over it. Aaron expected he’d get a decent buzz when he slipped through the doors of the smoky bar alone, after yet one more fight with Haley. Their marriage has morphed into one cyclical argument, centered around a myriad of topics ranging from money and mortgages to kids and intimacy. It’s anyone’s guess what the topic of the day will be. Tonight, money was the lucky winner. Tomorrow, something else entirely.

So, if there is anyone in need of a night off, it’s Aaron. He drinks a beer in a record amount of time and then milks one more, feeling the effects of the alcohol start to kick in as he contemplates ordering a third.

What he didn’t expect was to see a slightly familiar face on one of the stools a few feet away from his own.

Aaron has seen her around before - she’s hard to miss. Emily, the Ambassador’s college-aged daughter, is the exact antithesis of her ridiculously uptight mother, and something tells him she takes great pride in that. He knows little about her, just that she’s a student at Yale with the mouth of a sailor. Around the mansion, she’s typically aloof, her face perpetually shielded by a pair of dark sunglasses that he suspects are to conceal a hangover or the aftereffects of an all nighter. She seems to always have an agenda, somewhere to be, and she doesn’t even seem to realize he exists. She appears to have time for no one, but Aaron suspects her flippant demeanor is a ruse for something else entirely. Insecurity, perhaps?

Without the sunglasses hiding her face, he gets a chance to steal a few glances from his own spot at the bar. She’s wearing a lot of makeup, clutching a drink in her hand. Emily nervously tucks her hair behind her ears every few minutes, glancing over her shoulder in what he calculates to be fifty-second increments. She’s looking for someone. Or waiting for someone. Either way, she looks nervous. So Aaron orders another drink - this will be his last - and figures it’s not worth making his presence known. Technically, he isn’t supposed to fraternize with the Ambassador or her family outside of work, anyway. A conflict of interest, they say. But something about seeing her there tells him he should stay. He subtly thanks the bartender and keeps her in his peripheral vision, distracting himself with a mindless game on the TV.

There’s a hesitant tap on his shoulder a few moments later, and when he lifts his eyes from television he’s not even watching, he’s almost surprised to see her on the stool next to him.

Emily.

“Excuse me,” she says in a low voice, the concept of personal space all but lost on her. She’s almost pressing herself right against him, as if they’ve been doing this for years, and something tells him it’s not just because the bar is crowded. “But you seem like a guy who could help me out.” She smiles, and up close like this he can’t help but think she’s stunning.

Not that he expected otherwise. “I beg your pardon?” He takes a quick sip of his beer, and then another. Liquid courage, he supposes.

“I could really use a favor,” Emily continues, batting her long eyelashes. Clearly she has no idea who he is, and Aaron has to remind himself they’ve never formally met before. He’s only ever seen her from somewhat of a distance, and of course, heard the whisperings from the other agents. He’s never much believed in rumors, though.  

Aaron opens his mouth, ready to identify himself because something tells him this could go downhill very quickly before she cuts in, throwing nervous eyes to the door once again. “What are you -”

“Please pretend to be my boyfriend.”

He nearly knocks the beer bottle over, blinking as if he didn’t hear her correctly. “I beg your pardon?”

Emily smiles apologetically, talking just a little faster than before, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “I know it sounds ridiculous. I’m here by myself, and for the last half hour, there’s this guy who won’t leave me alone. I told him my boyfriend is coming but -” she glances at her feet, her cheeks flushing a shade of pink. “I don’t have a boyfriend, and he’s persistent. I’m pretty sure he spiked that drink too.”

Aaron sees the untouched drink by her place at the bar, next to the one she just finished. Just what is she doing in bars like this, by herself, at night? Where did this guy come from? Has the bartender not noticed? He has questions, but there isn't much time for answers. “Where is he?”

“Outside smoking.”

Something else crosses his mind. “I’ve been sitting here all night. You don’t think he’s already seen me?”

“He’s had his back to you the whole time. Plus,” Emily points toward the door. “The people next to us just got up and left. I highly doubt he saw you.”

Aaron wants to ask why she didn’t just get the hell up and leave with them, but her fingers tighten around his jacket sleeve, her eyes never leaving the wall of liquor bottles on the bar. “He’s coming back. At least pretend you like me, okay?”

There’s the heavy drag of shoes on the ground, a heavy odor of smoke and cigarettes permeating the air behind them. He feels Emily flinch when a large hand clamps down on her shoulder. “You’re still here” the guy leers, getting just a little too close. But then he spots Aaron, immediately pulling his hand away, his face twisting into a scowl. “So your boyfriend finally decided to show up.”

“Oh. Hi, Drew.” Emily tosses back lightly, throwing her arm around Aaron’s shoulders, leaving a kiss on his cheek. He gets a whiff of her perfume when her lips brush his skin, and for a brief moment, his mind blurs. Focus, he tells himself. “Traffic, you know.”

“You mean this is your boyfriend?” The guy, Drew, asks in disbelief, as if he doesn’t fully believe Emily. He gives Aaron a poorly concealed once-over, one that holds nothing but judgement.

“This is him,” Emily chirps, and for good measure, runs a hand through Aaron’s hair adoringly. Focus, he reminds himself. But she’s good at this, Aaron observes, wondering if she’s done this before. “You want something to eat, babe?” She reaches for a bar menu, pretending to study it.

“I’m starving,” Aaron says, hoping it’s convincing, reaching for her hand to prove a point. He squeezes her fingers, conveying the notion he’ll play along as long as she needs him to. “Whatever we got last time we were here was good.”

Emily nods approvingly, smiling sweetly at Drew with a wave of her hand. It’s a dismissal in the clearest sense. “It was great meeting you, Drew. Have a good night.”

“Yeah, you too,” he grumbles, clearly not convinced and undoubtedly annoyed at Aaron’s sudden presence next to her. “I guess I’ll see you around, Emily.” He stalks off, his footsteps heavy, disappearing into the crowd.

“Thank you” Emily says with relief once he’s fully out of earshot, but Aaron notices she doesn’t move her chair away from him. “Persistent little fuck, wasn’t he?”

“Definitely.” he twists a straw wrapper in his fingers as she orders another drink, draping one long leg over the other. His eyes linger on her legs for a split second too long. He shouldn’t be this close to her, let alone have drinks with her. Yeah, this could be bad if it got out. Aaron can only imagine the reactions of his coworkers if they found out.

“So, what’s your name?” Emily asks quickly, smoothing her hair over a shoulder, visibly relaxing in front of him as she lifts the glass to her lips. “I never did ask you, did I?”

“Hotchner,” he says out of habit, only realizing his mistake when she laughs.

“Are you some kind of cop or something? Your first name, genius. You’re my boyfriend, remember?” Emily gives a slight roll of her eyes. “We should probably be on a first name basis.”

That gets a laugh from him, too. “My first name is Aaron.”

“Mine’s Emily,” she says, narrowing her eyes and studying his face carefully, as if she’s trying to place him. “You look familiar to me for some reason.”

“I know what your name is.”

Her eyebrows nearly disappear into her hairline.

“I work for your mother,” Aaron says softly, wondering if it’s the right move to make. But it’s summer; she’ll be around for the next several weeks, and if they don’t clear the air now, things could get awkward the next time their paths cross. He probably shouldn’t mention that her reputation precedes her, and he fumbles for what to say next.

Emily hand flies to her mouth, eyes widening as she processes his words. “You mean you  - you’re one of the security agents. That’s where I know you from.” She places him quickly, suddenly looking embarrassed and utterly self-conscious. “Fuck.”

“I only started last month,” Aaron offers, sensing her discomfort, yet not quite ready for her to get up and leave. “I haven’t been around very long.”  

“Yet you knew who I was,” she says suspiciously.

“You’re hard to miss.” He wants to bring up the time he witnessed the day she got home from Yale a few weeks ago, surrounded by mountains of luggage in the driveway. Her mother had been less than thrilled, and it started quite the argument between the two of them that could be heard from nearly anywhere on the front grounds.

Emily laughs loudly this time, her head tilting back with effort. “I guess I’m doing something right, then.”

He resists the urge to push the stray piece of hair from her face. Don’t even think about it, he tells himself. “Definitely.”  

“My mother is all about appearances,” she quips. “But I like to keep things interesting.”

“We could use a little bit of that around there for sure.”

They slip into a witty banter that comes easily to her; he tries to keep up with her endlessly sharp wit. Emily watches him from the corner of her eye, studying him casually as they drink. And while she’s still a bit guarded, there’s something about the way her walls slowly peel back that tell him he’s doing something correctly.

“How about a shot?” she asks out of the blue, her eyes suddenly glittering. “If you’re up for the challenge.”

Aaron briefly considers the fact that taking shots with his boss’s daughter definitely isn’t the best idea he’s ever had. He isn’t even certain she’s old enough to be drinking. But it’s too late because Emily has already flagged the bartender down with a determined wave.  

“Two tequila shots, please,” she says sweetly, even as she tosses a devious wink in his direction. “Consider it a thank you for your services tonight.”

He swallows, fully aware Emily could most likely drink him under the table and probably will.

“Let me guess.” She slides one of the small glasses towards him with a devious grin on her face. “You don’t drink very often.”

“Got me there,” Aaron retorts dryly. He can’t remember the last time he and Haley spent a night out at a bar.

He’s about to make her a deal - the next round is on him - when he realizes she isn’t looking at him anymore. Instead, her eyes are locked on the thin gold band on his left hand.

“I didn’t realize you were married.”

*I have to thank the wonderful @cmhotchniss-blog for a little inspiration with this one! 😘

[flameo-firelord-hotman]

Part 2

Pairing: Zuko x Fem!Reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: none

Words: 2.0k

Summary: to everyone she knew, [y/n] was a peasant, destined to be a servant just like her parents. To Zuko, however, she was his best friend. After losing his agni kai and being exiled, [y/n] was devastated. She thought she would never see him again. Three years later, she almost wished he never came back.

A/N: have a treat for getting through another week of 2021 :)

Part 1 <- Part 2 -> Part 3

Series | Masterlist

A couple weeks had passed since [y/n] saw Zuko. When her parents asked how their reunion went, she said it went well. What she didn’t say was that all her excitement plunged down the drain the moment Mai and Azula showed up.

Her mom quickly found out about Zuko and Mai’s relationship. It wasn’t surprising. All the girls in the city dreamed of dating Zuko. Such a rumor would spread like wildfire. When it was brought up, [y/n] pretended to be happy for them. She didn’t want her parents to know that she was heartbroken. She didn’t need them to know her secret.

As the days went on, [y/n] pushed her feelings away and did her best to move on. Once again, work kept her mind distracted. And soon things went back to normal...until a messenger hawk landed on the window sill.

“[Y/n]!” Her mom called from the kitchen, “you have a message from Zuko!”

[Y/n]’s heart began to race. Despite her sorrow, she still got excited to hear from him. It was a nostalgic, like when she was a child waiting for that invitation to have a playdate. She left her bedroom to retrieve the note from her mother.

Dear [y/n], I’m sorry I couldn’t take you up on your offer to spend the day together. I’ve had a lot going on now that I’m back. Today, my father told my sister and me to take a vacation. We’re going to Ember Island, and Mai and Ty Lee are coming too. You should join us! Please let me know if you can come. Your friend, Zuko

[Y/n] had mixed feelings about Zuko’s invitation. She could count on one hand how many times she went on a vacation. The thought of taking a break and getting away from the city seemed nice. Zuko would be there too. Although he didn’t like her back, they were still best friends. It could be fun. However, his sister and his girlfriend would be there as well. That could ruin the trip.

[Y/n] shook her head. She was overthinking it. Zuko dating Mai wasn't the end of the world, and he wanted her to be there, so she should go. It would make him happy, and she truly valued his happiness. Surely [y/n] was capable of repressing her crush and not letting Azula get to her. She would be fine.

That was probably an overstatement.

The trip was...okay. Zuko was glad that [y/n] accepted the invite. However, his sister wasn’t too thrilled (though that was to be expected). Also, as expected, Mai was practically attached to Zuko. [Y/n] watched them from afar at the beach. She had to admit that she was at least a little jealous...maybe a lot.

“Here, this is for you,” Zuko said to Mai, handing her a seashell. Mai glanced at it and gave Zuko a snooty look.

“Why would I want that?”

“I saw it, and I thought it was pretty. Don’t girls like stuff like this?”

Yes, of course, [y/n] thought. She would’ve been over the moon if Zuko gave her a seashell.

Mai scoffed. “Maybe stupid girls.”

[Y/n] frowned. Was she a stupid girl? She sure felt stupid for coming here.

“Hey, beach bums! We’re playing next!” Azula shouted to Zuko and Mai, pointing to the people playing kuai ball. “Ty Lee, get over here!”

[Y/n] and the others gathered around Azula.

“Uh-uh,” Azula put her hand out to stop [y/n]. “You’re not playing. Teams of four only, and, besides, you’ll hold us back.”

“Hey!” Zuko barked at his sister.

“It’s fine, Zuko," [y/n] said, putting her hands up to diffuse the situation. "I don’t know how to play, so she’s probably right...” She shrugged her shoulders.

“See? I’m right. Let’s go.” Azula said pompously. She turned on her heel and headed toward the kuai ball court. Everyone else followed.

Watching Zuko and the girls play from the sidelines was normal for [y/n]. As a child, Azula usually let everyone but [y/n] play games with her, then Zuko would get mad, and [y/n] would just deal with it. She didn't dare cause trouble with the princess. But she deeply appreciated Zuko for standing up for her.

As the team of four destroyed their opponents (almost literally), [y/n]'s mind wandered. If I was nobility, I bet I would be playing too...but would Zuko have chosen me instead? Or would he be with Mai anyway?

After spending most of the day at the beach, the group went to a house party. Initially, the party hosts, Chan and Ruon-Jian, invited only Mai and Ty Lee. But, Azula, cunning and determined as always, managed to persuade the hosts to include everyone…even [y/n] to her surprise.

[Y/n] had never been to a house party before. The place was loud and packed with strangers. It was overwhelming to say the least. If it weren't for Mai, [y/n] would've stuck to Zuko's side. But, alas, she watched the love birds sit together, his arm around her shoulder. They were probably having a good time just like everyone else in the room. No one was standing awkwardly alone like [y/n].

Although she could’ve tried to mingle and make friends, she was far too anxious. So [y/n] sought refuge at the snack table. Nibbling on food kept her looking busy, while she prayed to the spirits for the night to go by quickly.

And perhaps the spirits heard her cries for help. Out of the corner of her eye, [y/n] noticed Zuko heading in her direction. Such a simple thing instantly brought her joy.

“Hey!” [Y/n] grinned.

“Hey.” Zuko replied sternly. He barely looked at her. Strange.

“So, um, how are you enjoying the party?”

He sighed dramatically, as he picked out some food. “Oh, it’s great,” he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Something was wrong. Before [y/n] could open her mouth, Zuko turned and walked away. Then, someone bumped into him and all the food fell to the floor.

“Hey, watch it! That food was for my cranky girlfriend!” Zuko snapped. [Y/n] kneeled down to clean up the food (it must have been her housemaid instincts). When she stood up, she saw Zuko run over to Ruon-Jian, who was talking to Mai, and push him. The poor boy almost crashed into [y/n].

“Hey! What are you doing?” Asked a very stunned Ruon-Jian.

“Stop talking to my girlfriend!” Zuko demanded, pointing an accusatory finger to the host. His other hand was tightly balled into a fist. [Y/n] could practically see the smoke coming out of his hands.

“Relax, it’s just a party—”

Zuko forcefully shoved Ruon-Jian back into a tall vase, which shattered to pieces. Suddenly the room fell silent. People all around them stopped talking to stare.

Mai began yelling at Zuko, and Zuko yelled back. They fought and bickered until Mai finally said it, “it’s over, Zuko. We’re done.”

[Y/n] gawked at the commotion. It all happened so quickly and it seemed so out of the blue. As kids, there were times when Zuko had lost his temper, but this was different. She had never seen Zuko rage to the point of becoming physical before.

“Who broke my nana’s vase?!” Chan cried, running into the scene. Ruon-Jian simply pointed to Zuko. Chan turned to him and aggressively gestured to the door. “That’s it! You’re out of here!”

“I was just leaving,” Zuko growled. He stormed out the front door and slammed it.

I better talk to him, [y/n] thought. She quietly slipped through the crowd of partygoers and left the house. Zuko was angrily walking along the path away from the place, hands still in fists and shoulders tensely raised.

“Zuko!” She called to him. He ignored her.

“Zuko, wait!” [Y/n] jogged to catch up to him. Still, Zuko kept walking. “What happened?” She panted.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

"But--"

"You heard what I said!" He was still fuming and needed to cool down first.

“Okay, okay…" [Y/n] paused before quietly asking, "can I walk with you?”

Zuko hesitated for a moment before sighing heavily. “Yeah, sure.”

Together they walked down the path to the beach. Neither of them said a word. They just silently strolled along the shore side by side. Waves lapped at their feet, providing a nice, calming ambiance. Several minutes passed, then Zuko turned and started up another path. It led up a hill to a large beach house. The house appeared to be abandoned as the garden outside was severely overgrown.

“What is this? Where are we?” [Y/n] wondered.

“My family’s beach house,” Zuko responded in a much more collected tone.

The two walked up the front steps. Zuko tried to open the door, but it was locked. He stepped back and forcefully kicked it open. [Y/n] reluctantly followed him inside.

“We haven’t been here in a long time,” Zuko explained, “we used to come every summer...when we were actually happy.”

A long time indeed. It was obvious that the house had been vacant for many years. Floorboards creaked with every step, a layer of dust coated every surface, and cobwebs hung every corner. A peculiar, stale smell made [y/n]’s nose crinkle.

Zuko extended his hand out and generated a flame. With the dim light, he walked up the large set of stairs in the foyer. [Y/n] followed.

On second floor was a large painting: a family portrait from a different time. Firelord Ozai and his (former) wife, Lady Ursa sat next to each other in chairs. Beneath them sat two children: Zuko and Azula. They looked to be very young, around the age when [y/n] had met them. Everyone was smiling.

Zuko gazed nostalgically. So much had changed in his life since this portrait was painted. It was no wonder his family no longer came here. If one were to pinpoint when it all went downhill, it would be Ursa’s disappearance.

[Y/n] placed a hand on his shoulder. “You miss her, don’t you?”

“Every day,” Zuko mumbled.

“I'm so sorry, Zuko…” she whispered.

“Yeah…” Zuko paused before speaking again. “I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. And I'm sorry you saw me get so angry at Mai and those other guys.”

[Y/n] nodded, accepting his apology.

“When I was exiled, all I felt was bitter anger and frustration. I thought restoring my honor and coming home would be the only way I could be happy again. Well, I’m home now and I have my honor back, so I should be happy, right? But I’m not, and I don’t know why. Now, I’m just confused.”

“I’m sorry, Zuko” [y/n] said. “I don’t know what I can do to help you.”

“It's okay. I don’t even know how to help myself.”

[Y/n] thought for moment. She had to say something to make him feel better.

“It's not very helpful, but I can tell you this. Everything will be okay. Maybe not now or tomorrow, or even the day after...but if you give yourself time, you’ll figure it out, and then, everything will be okay.”

Zuko turned to [y/n]. He stared at her for just a moment before hugging her. [Y/n] wrapped her arms around him, returning the embrace.

“Thank you, [y/n]. Even after all these years, you’re still here for me."

“Of course...I care about you.” She did, in more ways than Zuko would know.

Zuko pulled away, but kept his hands on her shoulders. He was so close to [y/n], she could almost feel his warm breath tickle her nose. It made her cheeks flush. [Y/n] watched his amber eyes wander all over her face. Everything felt so still and quiet all of a sudden. Even [y/n]’s mind went blank. His lips parted slightly, and she could’ve sworn she saw Zuko lean in a little...

“There you are. I thought I’d find you here—”

Zuko immediately let go of [y/n] and whipped his head around. Behind him at the top of the stairs stood Azula. She cocked her head and crossed her arms.

“Did I interrupt something?” She asked articulately.

“No.” Zuko answered quickly.

“Alright then…come down to the beach. This place is depressing.”

While the three of them returned to the shore, [y/n]’s mind rambled relentlessly.

What was that? Did he just...? No, no, I must be crazy. It didn’t happen. It was nothing. It was dark, my mind must've been playing tricks on me. I was just imagining things. Yeah...imagining it all. He wouldn’t...kiss me…would he?

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