#trauma and dysfunction really aren’t as quirky and fun as tiktok makes it seem
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#just feeling mentally exhausted#feel like progress is backwards#i’m just really tired#really need a hug#in other news I feel out of control so I’m relapsing pretty hard#I pretend things are okay when they start going downhill and then I’m suddenly like shit#I love my mom#I want to set up a therapy session but I’m scared to ask#don’t know why I’m punished still for other peoples mistakes#just really wish things were different#trauma and dysfunction really aren’t as quirky and fun as tiktok makes it seem#I’m really tired#I want it to end#not in a suicidal way dw#I just feel betrayed and abandoned#and alone#character building I don’t give a shit#I can’t even cry I just feel so exhausted mentally#I don’t know how I can make progress in this situation#I just am so angry#and have so much I want to say#but I can’t find the words or the balls to do it#oh to be unaware#this too shall pass#at least I fucking hope so because it doesn’t look like that#my life just feels like a series of unfortunate events#like in peanuts when the football is grabbed away whenever Charlie tries to kick it#i’m so tired#rae’s rambles#delete later
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