#I picture them like 9/10 in the first drawing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thedivinetarot · 2 months ago

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'Cause I like you quite a lot, it's you who I adore though I make boys fall like domino's

Who has a crush on you?

☆ How to chose your pile?

Close your eyes and clear your mind. Take a deep breath and ask the question in your head. And shall the picture you are drawn to the most be your pile.

☆ Disclaimer:

This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest. In this reading I won't do an energy check since many of you are not resonating with it anymore.

Mood board from @divinationsanctuary19

Pile 1 - Pearls

☆ Who?/ physical description:

I see that this person has self esteem issue. I see them as someone who really might have confidence issues. And it affect their life in a really negative way. Okay, also this person is workaholic until the point of exhaustion. They may stay up at night because of tiredness. I see that they work a lot. This person might be a soulmate/twin flame of yours. This person might be a co-worker of yours. They have a lot on their plate. This person is someone who is really family oriented. Someone who values family and find emotional fulfillment within a family. Someone who is managing their family finances. They might have a family (wife/children) or they are spending their money on their parents. Or maybe this person is already married omg (this is so spicy I can't😭). The 10s cards are repeated twice so this person might be someone who is socially in a higher place than you. It also gives me boss energy, someone in a higher status with lots of money and resources. But they got it all from their work, their own work. Now with their physical appearance: this person has dark brown hair, brown or black eyes. Someone who look younger than their actual age. Someone whose physical appearance to them is a source of insecurity or they are closed off. This person's aura seems very calm and soothing. I see that their shoulders are slightly wide and their body proportions almost equal. Physically, this person is average like nothing really make them stand out and you can easily not notice them in the crowds. The thing (I'm going to add a note here) this person is happily married to their spouse/ wife. And they have a legacy with them but now we will know why they are crushing on you.

☆ How do they see you?

Will first I see that their first impression of you was quite sharp. They saw you as someone who is quick witted and quite sharp mentally. You might appeared very smart to them which really attracted them to you. They also got attracted to your confidence and your youthful spirit. This person physically saw you as someone who is cute and baby doll. I don't know why I got baby-daddy/mommy dynamic. This person sees your beauty now as soft and delicate. Like their first impression on you was nothing like how they see you right now. I see that right now they see you as someone who is delicate, sweet and pure. Also I got the 9 of cups which is quite weird position for it. Well, even though this person is married and have a legacy they see that you might be someone who is good for them or their wish fulfillment. In addition, your cold and aloof attitude draws them to you even more. I see that you make them remember someone, to them your aura is very familiar. You remind them of someone they used to know when they was younger. (Idk why I'm picking on someone who is OLD and established).

☆ Placements for you:

Pisces, cancer, Aquarius, Gemini and mars in Aries.

☆ How do they feel?

Well, I see that you took this person off guard when you appeared in their life. You wasn't on their plan and meeting you was something unexpected at all. I see that what they feel for you is quite delightful. I see that this person really get distracted whenever you are around. I see that when they see that you are around they stand and stare, a wave of excitement and emotions overwhelm them. They feel that they want to protect or get possessive over you. This person either fear those emotions or they keep them to themselves. I see that whenever you are around they get quite and just STARE and you. Like your whole presence put them at ease. They also feel giddy and happy but can't seem to show it off because it will put them in a questionable place.

☆ Placements for them:

Aries, Sagittarius, virgo, Gemini, Pisces, Capricorn. Or mercury, dominant for them.

Pile 2 - Doves

☆ Who?/ their physical appearance?

Well, I see that this person is quite sad. I feel like you see those guys who listen to lana? Beautiful but sad? he gives of the same vibe. I see that this person gives off the impression that they work so freaking hard but they don't get paid enough. You see those people who works in malls? At the cashier? I think also that this person might work in a job that really don't pay them enough. They look so tired and above all they are stubborn. They don't wanna let go of that job. I see that this person is very emotionally content on their own and also I see that there's a distance between you two. You might meet them when you are traveling. I feel like this person might work so hard to prove themselves but their efforts go unnoticed. Which frustrate them even more. I see that this person is quite smart and detached but their stubbornness is the only thing that cause them trouble. I see that they know when to strategically use their wit. They might be someone who is considered smart academically. I mean I got the king and queen of swords. This person whenever you see them they display a bitch face. Or they look grumpy. They look emotionless, no expression. I see that they got heartbroken before but they got over it and found peace with it. I see that they took the lesson and healed so don't worry that they will break yours. But anyways, I see that might build up a lot of walls around themselves so you can't hurt them again. Now for the physical appearance this person have brown to black hair. Or espresso black hair. Their eye color is definitely brown or hazel. I see also that they work out a lot. Their body is defined and considered fit. Their hair might be wavy or a little bit frezzy. They are average like from 5'3 to 6'0 (173 to 182 cm). Their face is always serious, they look angry all the time. They might also be an introvert too. Like you won't see them hanging out with more than 2 to 3 people.

☆ How do they see you?

Okay, first.... I see that this person see that you are someone who is apathetic. Like especially in work settings. They see that you should not be in the place you are in at all. This might be their initial impression of you. You might come off as someone who lack motivation or apathetic and even lazy. I also that this person might see you as sorceress 😭. I see that they see you as someone who is very alluring like... alluring emotionally. You might be someone with a lot of charms, like you know how to treat people with kindness and compassion. I see also that they see you as someone with a lot of calm and serene aura with a mix or confidence and authority. You come off to this person as someone who is confident, authoritative with a hint charisma and emotional maturity. I see that with alot of this they see you as someone who is a bit conservative about your social interaction, like you don't associate yourself with a lot of people or you keep your interactions limited. I don't know why I feel like this person really want to reach you but they feel like you are distant. It feels like they are reaching for the moon when they are dealing with you. Also, you might intimidate them with the way you walk. Like you seem sharp when you are walking, you don't look at people you only look at where you are going.

☆ Placements for you:

Gemini, Scorpio, Aries, Leo, Capricorn. Mercury, Mars, Pluto, Saturn, jupiter. Sun or moon in the 1st, 3rd, 8th, 5th, 10th house in the chart, Pluto and mars making aspects to your ascendant.

☆ How do they feel?

This person feels very at peace when they look at you. I see that since you have a very calming and trusted aura they feel very at peace with the thought of you. I see that they feel very confident that one day you'll be their wifey lol. They feel this unconditional love towards you, I'm not joking at all the cards are very positive. I see that the first time they interact with you might happen through text or a following request on social media. They might be so sure that they want you. I see also that whenever they look at you they feel this feeling that they can leave their bad days and heal from bad experiences. Maybe the thought of you put them at ease. Like your aura is incredible to the point that they feel very calm when they think of you🥺. I see that they have a hint of passion towards you too. They might act more energetic and confident around you just to get you to notice them. I hope that by now you knew them pile 2. Take care💕.

☆ Placements for them:

Fire placements (leo, Aries and sagittarius) , Taurus, Cancer, Gemini, Mar in gemini, Venus in taurus, Jupiter, moon, Venus dominant in their chart. Sun or moon in the 1st, 9th, 5th, 2nd, 4th, 3rd house.

Pile 3 - Hands of a lady

☆ Who?/ physical appearance

Well, that's huge but what I'm seeing is someone that is very skillful, they embody the magician card. Someone very skillful, very good at turning their wishes into reality. They are very strong individual with a charismatic aura. They might be student in your school or college. I'm picking up on someone who studies at the same institution as you and if not then they might have took the same class as you (doesn't have to be school or college it might be as simple as pottery class). I see that this person really travels a lot. And very successful in their work (if they do so). This person is very fair. When they love you they give more than they receive, someone who is selfless and patient. They might have forward thinking because they worry alot about the future. They also get very doubtful about opportunities and they sabotage it by themselves unfortunately. This person has a lot of potential, and skills but they are either too lazy or too doubtful to work on them. Now their physical appearance, this person is in their 20s as I said above they might be a college student or still in school. Hair is silky and straight and for a very little group here this person has curly hair. Their hair color is unique or they dyed it. Their natural hair color might be blonde and they dye it black or the opposite. The way that they carry themselves is very elegant. It gives off someone who is rich. Even if they are not rich their aura seems very rich and elegant. They might wear a potato sack and appear beautiful. They possess natural beauty. They might be sad too, or they appear sad or their mouth drop downward like this face (😞). They might wear a lot of green? Yes I guess so. I guess this person wear alot of green and it look fabulous on them. Eye color might be mixed, like you see that person whose eye color change with lighting? I'm getting brown greenish or green or brown or even hazel. Did it resonate with you pile 3? Tell me if so and take care💕.

☆ How do they see you?

Well, I'm getting that this person sees you as someone who is intimidating. I see that they get terrified whenever you are around. Also, someone unpredictable with sharpness around the edge. Maybe you are enneagram 8? Or ISTP? I see that you dress in a way that is quite edgy. Like not the typical good girl way of dressing. Something very black edgy and emo. But you beauty is very alluring to them. I see that the way you dress might be revealing? Like you might show your boobs or wear mini skirts or you intend on revealing lots of skin or cleavage. I see that they like your cleavage or your boobs. I see that it is the thing that really attracted them to you. This pile feels more physical and sensual, like this person's main focus in your physical body. I see that they really see that you are someone with very alluring beauty. Something like a siren. You put a lot of thought into your appearance. And you take care of your health and body. I see that you appear as a mystery to that person, someone who is beautiful, and mysterious. They see the potential of this to grow into something more lighthearted and healing.

☆ Placements for you:

Pisces, Leo, Virgo, Scorpio, Aries, Aquarius. Venus in virgo, harsh aspects between Mars and sun in your chart. Mars, Mercury, Sun, Moon dominant in your chart.

☆ How do they feel about you?

They want to come towards you. I see that they already thought about it and it seems very sure of themselves. I see a grand gesture, something carefree and diplomatic. They might gentlemanly help you in something you are doing so they can be close to you. I see that whenever they think of you a strong feeling of love and nurturing take over them. They want to take care of you. They feel also like your relationship with them is fated. Like you both are meant to be. I see that they try to move on from you but whenever they try they fall harder lol. You might not study in the same class but meet in the hallways and they feel very electrified whenever you are around. You see that feeling of electricity pass through you when you see your crush? They feel the same way. But generally, they feel very positive towards you. So, enjoy it baby💋. I hope you enjoyed the reading pile 3.

☆ Placements for them:

Gemini, virgo, Libra, Aries, Scorpio. Mercury, Saturn, Pluto, mars. 1st, 3rd, 7th, 8th, 6th house placements.

Pile 4 - Lady and sea waves

☆ Who? Their appearance:

Pile 4 is that your ex? I feel like this is someone who is very earthy. I mean someone who used to keep you close to them but now they are far away? I see that you had a fight with them and it was because of their possessiveness or jealousy towards you which was unbearable. I see if you are away from this person they want to start all over but in a tricky way. Like they might reach out to you in a way that might not hurt their ego. I see that even after this they are unsure if this is going to last or not. They just want you back. I see that they used to carry a lot of uncertainty and they felt super unsure of where things are going and now if they return it won't be how you expected? I mean this person hasn't changed yet and they do not intend to change. I mean they want you back just to prove to themselves that they can have you back. I think this person was dedicated? And all of sudden things just changed. I don't know if you should get back to them or not. I don't like their energy, it feels very tricky and deceiving. I guess that they are attached to you emotionally. They do not intend on breaking free out of this toxicity. This person is toxic they do not want to change and at the same time they want you back. Now for their appearance, this person might wear heavy clothes even during summer. Their hair is wavy or straight, I see that the color range from blonde to light brown. And they are pale AF, also for some they have a very dark undertone. I'm picking up on someone who wears a lot of white shirts too. This person has medium height and for some they are short lol. For their eye color mostly brown and other have blue eyes I'm not picking on anything specific could be hazel too.

☆ How do they see you?

Well, I'm picking up that this person see how emotionally distant and cold you are. You might have given them a lot of attention that made their confidence sky rock. I see that they know how much anxiety they caused you, they know that they are the reason that you are distant and cold towards them and other people. I kept typing void? So you might have filled the void inside them and they got attached? I got the devil card twice and no it doesn't have to be that they see you as someone who is sexy. They see that they are attached to you. I see also that you bring them a lot of anxiety. Because as I said before, because they are toxic; they know how tick you boxes and use you whenever they want. And they are very sure that you are going to satisfy their ego (please don't you are more than this). They give off the vibe of someone who is emotionally distant... avoidant to be more specific. They know how much they have caused you and doesn't intend on making things better, they want you because they are attached to you emotionally not because they love you so be careful pile 4 you are amazing🤍.

☆ Placements for you:

Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Capricorn, jupiter, mars, Sun as dominant planets in the chart. Or those placements as sun moon or ascendant.

☆ How do they feel about you?

They feel very sure of themselves that you are going to fill up their void. I see alot of imbalances in this relationship, someone here is taking more than they receive and the opposite. I see that they have quite mixed imbalanced feelings towards you and they are not sure of how to deal with all of them. One day they feel like yes, they love you and they will do better and other times they feel like you are too much and they doesn't understand themselves. I hate their energy, maybe you are with them because you feel pity for them not because you love them. If you end this I assure you that you'll get better soon. I mean the general dynamic between you two is quite toxic and imbalanced. They don't know how to keep you and how to let you go so please be the reason for this to end. Sometimes, leaving is better than staying for something that is no good for you. Take care pile 4 💕.

☆Placements for them:

Taurus, virgo, Scorpio, gemini, Libra, Sagittarius. Saturn, Pluto, mercury dominant in their chart. Or their moon, sun or ascendant in those signs.

Post date: 30th of Nov/ 2024 - Sat

* Feedback is appreciated

#free divination #free tarot #pick a card #pick a pile #divination #divination readings #metaphysical #tarot community #tarot pac #tarot reading #tarotblr #free love reading #free pac #pick a picture #pick a photo #crush tarot

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onebadassunicorn · 1 month ago

Text

His Blue-Eyed Angel

pairing: Azriel x Reader

content warnings: torture, beating, SA (attempted), gore, captivity, depression, hopelessness, serious angst

word count: 8.7k

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Story tags: @bravo-delta-eccho @tele86 @tiredsleepyhead @celestialgilb @theflowerswillbloom @fuckingsimp4azriel @quiet-because-it-is-a-secret @salvatoresister1 @imperfect0angel @stvrdustalexx

Image owned by Velocity Visual Media.

********************

Chapter 18

Azriel POV

The news came in the dead of night, a whisper carried by one of Rhysand's remaining spies.

It was faint—a lead so weak and unlikely that Azriel's heart clenched as he listened.

"Hybern's remnants," the spy reported, their voice breathless and shaking. "A cluster of them in the far corner of Spring Court. They've gone unchecked... it's been left to ruin."

The words barely registered after that. Spring Court. A lawless pocket where Tamlin had let the land grow wild, forgotten, as he wallowed in his grief over Feyre.

Azriel's hands shook as he stood in Rhysand's office, the bond in his chest flickering, faint but alive.

"Azriel," Rhysand said quietly, his voice tight but steady. "Cassian will go with you. If she's there-"

"If she's there, I'll bring her home," Azriel cut in, his voice hoarse, unyielding.

Cassian clapped a hand on Azriel's shoulder as they left, his expression uncharacteristically grim. "We'll get her back, brother. One way or another."

******

Azriel POV

The landscape of Spring Court was overgrown and desolate as they flew low over the rolling hills and tangled forests. The wild magic that had been allowed to seep through Tamlin's neglected borders was suffocating, choking the land in weeds and thorns.

Azriel's shadows shot ahead, slithering into the ruins of what looked like an abandoned estate -the-once-beautiful manor half-collapsed, overtaken by vines and decay. From above, it looked like nothing. Just another ruin. But then his shadows whispered.

Voices. Movement below.

Azriel's wings flared as he descended, his breath coming quicker as the shadows painted a picture in his mind—a stone cellar buried beneath the remnants of the house, faint light flickering from cracks in the ground. His shadows hissed urgently.

It was her.

His mate.

His love.

His heart stopped. The bond trembled faintly in his chest, as if answering the call.

She's here.

"Cassian," Azriel said, his voice sharp as he landed silently near the entrance. "There's a cellar beneath this ruin. She's there. I can feel her."

Cassian nodded, drawing his blade as they approached. "Lead the way."

******

Ariel POV

Azriel didn't waste a second. His shadows darted forward, locating a hidden door half-buried under dirt and weeds. With one sharp tug, Azriel ripped the rotted wood free, revealing a narrow set of stone steps descending into darkness. The air that wafted up was heavy with dampness and rot-and something else.

Fear.

Azriel's chest burned as he moved first, his steps silent as a shadow. Cassian followed close behind, a looming figure of fury.

The dungeon was a labyrinth of shadows and despair, the air thick with the stench of damp stone and old blood. Azriel moved through the darkness like a predator, his steps silent, his shadows curling and writhing around him, eager for the kill. He had fought in countless battles, infiltrated fortresses, and eliminated targets with precision that earned him his deadly reputation, but this—this was different.

This was personal.

Each heartbeat thundered in his ears, a pounding rhythm of rage and desperation as he followed the faint tether of the bond between him and Y/n. It was faint but steady, guiding him deeper into the bowels of the dungeon. The bond, that invisible thread that tied them together, throbbed with her pain and fear, each pulse like a dagger in his chest.

When he heard the first muffled scream echo through the stone walls, his rage sharpened into something cold and lethal. His shadows surged ahead, spilling into the corridors like smoke, scouting and searching for her. The first guard didn’t even see him coming.

Azriel’s blade was swift and silent, cutting through the male’s throat before he could so much as draw breath to shout. The blood sprayed against the damp stone, and Azriel stepped over the body without a second glance. Another guard rounded the corner, his eyes widening in alarm at the sight of the Shadowsinger and the General emerging from the gloom.

Cassian didn’t give him a chance to react. His blade struck home, embedding itself in the male’s chest. The guard crumpled with a choked gasp, his lifeless body hitting the ground with a dull thud. Cassian retrieved the blade as Azriel pressed on, his shadows flickering around him like an extension of his fury, every step bringing him closer to her.

The next room was guarded by three soldiers. They were laughing, their voices echoing in the oppressive silence of the dungeon. Azriel and Cassian didn’t bother with stealth this time. They wanted them to see them. They wanted them to feel the terror of what was coming for them.

The first male barely had time to register the shadow-cloaked figure before Azriel’s blade severed his windpipe.

The second lunged at Cassian, but he sidestepped with ease, his wings flaring slightly as he drove his dagger into the soldier’s side.

The third tried to flee, but Azriel’s shadows coiled around his legs, dragging him to the ground.

He let the shadows crush the male’s windpipe, his rage flaring at the thought of how these men had likely harmed her.

He didn’t stop to clean his blades.

He didn’t stop to think. The bond pulled him forward, and he followed it, his focus narrowing to a single point.

His mate.

The hallway was narrow and dim, lit by weak torches flickering against the stone. Voices echoed from the far end-low, guttural voices that made Azriel's blood turn to ice.

"You'll behave this time, won't you?" one of the voices sneered, followed by the unmistakable sound of shuffling movement.

Azriel stopped breathing.

"No." A whimper. A voice he'd know anywhere.

Y/n.

Something broke inside him.

He moved faster, his shadows lashing out, extinguishing the torches as he became one with the darkness.

Cassian's heavy boots followed, but Azriel barely heard them. The bond in his chest burned brighter now, pulsing in time with his fury.

At the end of the hall, he reached the heavy iron door at the end of the corridor, the scent of her blood hitting him like a physical blow. His shadows pushed against the crack in the door, revealing flickers of the scene within.

And there she was.

But what he saw made his blood turn to ice.

Inside the dim, torch-lit cell, she was slumped against the far wall, her battered wings spread limply behind her. Her black hair a tangled curtain around her face. Her wrists were bound, her once-tanned skin now pale. Her tunic was torn, her body streaked with blood and bruises, her face gaunt and hollow.

And standing over her, a Hybern soldier sneered, his hands fumbling at the waistband of his armor, trying to drop his pants as he pinned her with his weight. She struggled weakly, her eyes wide with terror as she turned her head away from him.

"You're too stubborn for your own good," the soldier spat, tugging harder. "But I'll break you yet."

"Please," she whispered, her voice barely audible, broken. "No..."

Azriel saw red.

The door crashed open as he stormed inside, his shadows exploding into the room like a violent storm. The soldier turned, startled, his sneer falling away Azriel's cold, deadly fury filled the space.

Azriel was on him, slamming him into the far wall with such force that the stone cracked. His blade was in his hand, pressing against the male's throat, his hazel eyes burning with a wrath that could've torn apart the world.

"Did you touch her?" Azriel snarled, his voice barely human.

"Did you touch her?"

The soldier choked, his face turning purple as Azriel's grip tightened. "Please-no-"

Azriel didn't hesitate, his blade flashing as it buried itself in the male's neck.

Blood sprayed, hot and crimson, splattering Azriel's hands and face as he yanked the blade free. The soldier gurgled, his hands clawing at his throat as he staggered backward. Azriel didn't stop. He drove the dagger into the male's chest, twisting it with a snarl before ripping it free. The soldier crumpled to the floor, lifeless.

Azriel stood over the body for a heartbeat, his chest heaving, his shadows still lashing out in fury.

Cassian burst in behind him, taking out another soldier who had been guarding the entrance, but Azriel didn't care.

Didn't see.

His gaze snapped to her.

She hadn't moved from where she was slumped against the wall, her chest rising and falling in shallow, uneven breaths. Her torn tunic barely covered her arms, exposing the jagged scars they have carved into her. Her once-vibrant blue eyes were dull, unfocused, as if the fight had been drained from her.

Her eyes glazed as she stared up at him.

"Angel," he whispered, his voice breaking.

She blinked slowly, as if unsure whether he was real. "Azriel?" she rasped, her voice hoarse and weak.

He crossed the room in three strides, falling to his knees before her. His hands shook as he reached for her face. "It's me," he breathed. "It's me, Angel."

The nickname slipped out, unbidden but true, as he knelt beside her, his hands trembling as he cupped her face. Her skin was cold, too cold, and her body was far too light as he lifted her into his arms.

Her blue eyes searched his face, and something broke in them-something shattered and raw.

"You came," she whispered, tears spilling down her bruised cheeks.

Azriel's throat tightened painfully, his chest aching as he pressed his forehead against hers. "I told you I would come for you," he choked out, his voice rough. "I'm so sorry, Angel. I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner."

Her head lolled against his chest, her breathing shallow but steady as he carried her out of the cell.

Cassian appeared at his side, his face grim as he looked her over. "We need to get her out of here, Az."

Azriel nodded, his wings flaring as he adjusted her carefully in his arms. "I've got you," he murmured, his voice breaking as he pressed a soft kiss to her temple. “You’re safe now. I’m taking you home.”

As he carried her from the darkness of that hell, his shadows whispering around them like a shield, Azriel swore that no one would ever lay a hand on her again.

He didn’t stop to think about the bodies he left in his wake, didn’t stop to consider the path of carnage he had carved through the dungeon.

All that mattered was her.

As they emerged into the night air, her wings stirred faintly, and she let out a soft, broken sob. “You came for me,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I thought… I thought you wouldn’t.”

Azriel’s throat tightened, his wings flaring as he launched them into the sky. “I will always come for you,” he said fiercely, his voice shaking with emotion. “No matter what. You’re mine, Angel. My mate. And I will never let anyone hurt you again.”

Her fingers curled weakly against his chest, and she closed her eyes, the tension in her body easing slightly as she succumbed to exhaustion. Azriel held her tighter, his shadows swirling protectively around them as they flew. He didn’t let himself feel relief—not yet. Not until she was safe, until she was healed.

And as the wind whipped past them, he made a silent vow: he would hunt down every last one of Hybern’s men who had dared to touch her, and he would make them pay for every drop of blood they had spilled.

She was his mate.

She was his everything.

And he would destroy anyone who dared to take her from him again.

******

Azriel POV

The skies above Velaris were a deep, twilight blue, the stars beginning to peek through the fading sunlight as Azriel descended toward the River House. His wings burned from the long flight, his body aching from the battle in Hybern’s dungeon, but none of that mattered. Not with his mate in his arms, her frail, trembling form cradled against his chest.

Her breathing was shallow, her head resting limply on his shoulder as the city lights of Velaris came into view. Azriel’s shadows swirled around them, curling protectively, as though they, too, understood how fragile she was, how precious she was.

The River House doors burst open before he even touched the ground. Rhysand stood on the threshold, his expression uncharacteristically unguarded, panic and desperation etched into his sharp features. Feyre was beside him, her hand clutching her mate’s arm, her own face pale and drawn with worry.

Azriel and Cassian landed heavily, their boots crunching on the gravel path as their wings folded behind him. Y/n stirred faintly in Azriel’s arms, her blue eyes fluttering open for the briefest moment before closing again, her exhaustion overwhelming her.

“Y/n,” Rhysand breathed, his voice breaking as he stepped forward. His violet eyes scanned her battered form, the cuts, bruises, and torn clothing stark against her pale, blood-streaked skin.

The High Lord of Night, always composed, looked ready to shatter.

“She’s alive,” Azriel said hoarsely, his hazel eyes locking onto Rhysand’s. “But she’s barely holding on. She needs healers—immediately.”

Rhysand nodded sharply, turning to Feyre. “Send for Madja. Now,” he ordered, his voice steady but strained. Feyre didn’t hesitate, winnowing away in a flash of night.

Rhysand stepped closer, his hand trembling slightly as he reached out, brushing Y/n’s dark hair from her face. “My fierce little sister,” he murmured, his voice filled with an aching tenderness.

Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of her brother’s voice, unfocused at first but slowly sharpening as recognition set in. “Rhys…” she whispered, her voice so soft and weak it was barely audible.

Rhysand knelt beside her, his hand cupping her cheek gently. “I’m here,” he said, his voice low but steady. “You’re safe now. Azriel brought you home.”

Tears filled her blue eyes, a single drop slipping down her bruised cheek as her lips trembled. “I thought…” Her voice broke, and she turned her head slightly, pressing her face against Azriel’s chest as a quiet sob escaped her.

Azriel’s grip on her tightened, his shadows swirling protectively as he murmured, “You’re safe, Angel. You’re home.”

Rhysand’s throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, his gaze flicking to Azriel. “Take her inside,” he said quietly, though his tone left no room for argument. “We’ll get her the help she needs.”

Azriel nodded, carrying Y/n through the open doors. The warmth of the River House enveloped them, the soft light and familiar scents offering a stark contrast to the cold, damp darkness of the dungeon they had escaped.

Feyre reappeared moments later, her face pale but determined. “Madja is on her way,” she said quickly, her eyes darting to Y/n’s frail form. “She’ll be here soon.”

Azriel followed Rhysand’s lead into a sitting room where a couch had been prepared with blankets and pillows. He lowered her onto the cushions with infinite care, his hands trembling slightly as he adjusted the blankets around her. Her eyes fluttered open again, her gaze locking onto his.

“Stay,” she cried, her voice panicked, barely audible as her hand reached out weakly to grab his.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Azriel said firmly, sitting beside her and taking her hand in his. His shadows curled protectively around her, refusing to leave her side.

Rhysand knelt beside the couch again, his violet eyes scanning his little sister’s face as though committing every detail to memory. “You’re safe now,” he said softly, his voice steady despite the tears brimming in his eyes. “I promise, no one will ever hurt you again.”

Her lips parted as if to speak, but no words came. Instead, her tears spilled freely, and Rhysand leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. “You’re home, Y/n,” he murmured. “You’re with family.”

Moments later, the sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway, and Madja entered, her calm, no-nonsense demeanor filling the room with quiet authority. She carried a bag of supplies, her sharp eyes assessing Y/n immediately.

“Let me see her,” Madja said, her tone brisk but kind as she moved to the couch.

Azriel hesitated, his hand tightening around Y/n’s, but Rhysand placed a steadying hand on his shoulder.

“She’s in the best hands, brother” Rhysand said quietly. “Let her work.”

Azriel reluctantly released Y/n’s hand, standing and stepped back to give Madja space. His shadows, however, remained close, their dark tendrils curling protectively around her like a barrier.

******

Azriel POV

Madja worked quickly, her hands glowing faintly with magic as she began healing Y/n’s wounds. She cleaned and dressed the cuts and bruises, her expression tightening as she examined the one scar that would not heal.

When she was finished and Y/n was asleep, she covered her with a blanket and called Rhysand and Azriel over.

“She will heal,” Madja said softly, her voice filled with sorrow as she glanced up at Azriel, “but she has a wound that will never fade. They used faebane to ensure it would scar permanently.”

Azriel’s jaw tightened, his wings twitching slightly as fury flickered in his hazel eyes. “Will she recover?” he asked, his voice low and raw.

“She’s strong,” Madja replied, her tone reassuring. “Her body will heal in time. But the scars on her heart and mind… those will take longer.”

Azriel nodded, his gaze dropping to her pale face as she slept. “I’ll be here,” he murmured, more to himself than anyone else. “For as long as it takes, I’ll be here.”

As Madja continued to gather her supplies, Y/n stirred slightly, her eyes fluttering open to find Azriel standing nearby.

“Azriel,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

He was at her side in an instant, taking her hand in his again. “I’m here, Angel,” he said softly, his hazel eyes shining with quiet determination. “I’m not leaving.”

Rhysand stood behind him, his violet eyes filled with gratitude and sorrow as he watched the scene before him. “We’ll take care of her,” he said quietly to Feyre, his voice thick with emotion. “No matter what it takes, we’ll help her heal.”

And as she finally slipped into a deep, exhausted sleep, surrounded by warmth, safety, and the people who loved her, Azriel silently vowed to himself that he would never let anyone hurt her again.

She was home now.

******

Y/n POV

The days in Velaris passed slowly for me as I began the long and painful process of healing. The warmth of the city and the constant presence of those who cared for me were a stark contrast to the cold, unrelenting darkness of the dungeon I had left behind. But the scars of my captivity—both physical and emotional—were not so easily erased.

In the weeks of healing that followed, my physical injuries knit themselves back together under the skill of the Night Court’s best healers.

They applied ointments to burns, repaired small fractures to delicate bone. My wings, bruised and torn, regained some strength and I learned to walk again without doubling over from spasms. The external wounds improved with astonishing speed, their progress a balm to those who watched over me.

But there was no quick remedy for the way I flinched at a sudden laugh, how I jumped when someone touched me unexpectedly, or how the mere clink of metal against metal could send me spiraling into panic.

My torturers had taught me a cruel lesson about vulnerability and trust. Now, even among allies who would rather die than harm me, I never fully relaxed. I kept an eye on every exit, and I seldom allowed anyone to stand behind me, except Azriel. The sound of nighttime revelry drifting up from the city only reminded me that once, laughter had accompanied my screams.

I spent my mornings in the gardens of the River House, surrounded by the soothing hum of nature. The scent of blooming flowers mingled with the soft rustle of leaves, the Sidra sparkling in the distance. Feyre often joined me, offering quiet companionship, sketching while I sat in the sun. Some days, they talked, Feyre sharing stories of her own healing journey, gently encouraging me to take each step at her own pace. Other days, silence reigned, and Feyre simply sat beside me, a quiet pillar of support.

Nothing was simple. Even sunlight, once a symbol of hope, felt too bright at times, forcing me to recall the interrogation room where a single lamp had thrown cruel shadows across my captors’ faces. When kindness was offered, part of me questioned it, waiting for the sting of betrayal.

Good food tasted off at first, because my body expected spoiled scraps.

Warm baths and fragrant soaps made me weep silently, recalling how I’d once been denied even the most basic comforts. Mor was patient with me and silently helped me wash my hair as she tried to avoid looking at the scar on my stomach.

Rhysand, ever-watchful, made it a point to check on me every day. He didn’t press me to speak but always asked how I was feeling, his violet eyes filled with unwavering patience and love. “You don’t have to be okay all at once,” he had told me one afternoon, his voice steady. “Healing isn’t linear, little sister. Take all the time you need.”

But it was Azriel who was my constant presence. He was always nearby, his shadows a quiet comfort even when he wasn’t in the room. He would sit with me on the nights I couldn’t sleep, his voice low and soothing as he told her stories of Velaris or described the stars above.

I found myself leaning on him more than I had expected, his presence becoming a source of comfort I hadn’t realized I needed. Azriel never pushed me to talk about what had happened in the dungeon, but he always listened when I chose to share. Slowly, piece by piece, I began to tell him the horrors I had endured, my voice trembling but steady as I laid her pain bare.

He never flinched, never looked at me with pity. Instead, his hazel eyes burned with quiet rage and unshakable devotion. “You survived,” he told me one evening as we sat together by the fire. “You’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever known.”

The physical healing was easier to measure. Madja visited me regularly, using her magic to mend the worst of the injuries. The cuts and bruises faded with time, my strength slowly returning under Madja’s careful guidance. my wings, battered and bruised, began to heal as well, though I winced each time I stretched them. Azriel often helped me with the exercises Madja prescribed, his touch gentle as he supported my movements.

“Just a little more,” he would encourage softly, his hand steady against my back. “You’re doing great.”

But it was the scar on my stomach that weighed on me the most. It was a permanent reminder of what I had endured, a scar that would never fully fade. Some days, I couldn’t bear to look at it, the shame and anger bubbling up until it felt like I might drown in it.

Humiliated.

Mutilated.

And something I wasn’t sure I could ever share with Azriel.

The bond between Azriel and I thrummed faintly, a quiet presence I didn’t yet fully understand but had come to rely on. He never mentioned it, never pressured me to acknowledge it, but it was there, steady and unyielding, a silent reminder that I wasn’t alone.

And when the nightmares came, as they often did, he was there in an instant.

******

Y/n POV

My room was dark and cold when the nightmare began. It crept in like smoke, curling into the edges of my subconscious, twisting my dreams into something monstrous and cruel.

The dungeon came first—the damp, suffocating walls, the stench of mold and blood. Chains rattled in the shadows, and I was there again, bound and broken, my wings torn and useless. I could feel the cold stone beneath my knees, the sharp sting of my captors’ laughter as they loomed over me, faceless but terrifying all the same.

“Not so strong now,” one hissed, their voice a distorted echo. “No one is coming for you. He left you. He chose her.”

My head snapped up, my vision blurring through tears, and there he was—Azriel. Standing in the distance, cloaked in shadows, his hazel eyes fixed on me with an expression that carved me open.

“Azriel,” I choked out, struggling against the chains, against the weight pressing me down. “Please… please.”

But he turned away. He turned and walked into the dark, his back fading until there was nothing left of him.

“No,” I sobbed, my voice hoarse and broken. “Don’t leave me!”

The walls of the dungeon began to close in, the shadows thickening, the chains biting into my skin. My wings trembled under the pressure of unseen hands, pulling at them, tearing them apart. Pain radiated through my chest as the whispers grew louder.

“Left you.”

“Forgot you.”

“Not enough.”

“Azriel!” I screamed, the word ripped from me as darkness consumed me whole.

******

Azriel POV

Azriel shot upright in bed, his breath caught in his throat as the sound reached him—distant and broken, but unmistakable.

Her voice.

“Angel,” he breathed, already shoving back the covers.

The shadows swirling around him were frantic, echoing the same panic that thrummed through his chest. He was halfway down the hall before he realized he’d moved, his bare feet pounding against the cold floor. He didn’t care who he woke—didn’t care that the rest of the House was sleeping.

He heard her again as he neared her door—a broken sob, a whispered plea. “Azriel… don’t leave me.”

He didn’t knock. He didn’t hesitate. Azriel pushed the door open and slipped inside, the sight before him freezing him in place for a heartbeat.

She was tangled in the sheets, her face pale, her body trembling violently as she murmured incomprehensibly, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her wings, battered and healing, fluttered weakly against the mattress as though trying to escape the invisible torment.

The bond flared faintly in his chest, an instinct as old as time pulling him forward. “Angel,” he said softly, striding to the bed.

She gasped, her body jolting awake, but her blue eyes were unfocused, wild, searching for something that wasn’t there. “Azriel?” she whispered, her voice small, broken.

“I’m here,” he said, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed.

He reached for her without thinking, cupping her face gently, his thumbs brushing away the tears streaking her cheeks. “It’s me. It’s just a nightmare. You’re safe.”

Her hands shot up suddenly, clutching at his wrists like a lifeline. She blinked up at him, her chest rising and falling in sharp, uneven breaths. “You’re here,” she said, as if still trying to convince herself.

“I’m here,” he repeated, softer this time. His wings folded close to his back as he leaned forward, kissing her forehead. “You’re safe. I promise.”

His shadows curled around her like a protective shroud, their tendrils brushing her skin as if trying to soothe her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly, his voice low and steady, though it wavered slightly with worry.

She shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper as she replied, “It’s always the same. The dungeon. The pain. Their voices…telling me you chose her. You left me. I wasn’t enough…” Her words faltered, and she shuddered, closing her eyes, her wings curling closer to her back. “Then you appear and I’m calling out for you, but you turn and walk away. I can’t escape it. Even here.”

The ache in her voice made something inside Azriel snap. He shifted closer, his arms wrapped tightly around her trembling form. The aftermath of her nightmare still clung to the air like a heavy fog. Her sobs had quieted, but the hitch in her breathing told him the fear hadn’t entirely left. He cradled her as though she were the most fragile thing in the world, his hand stroking gently along the curve of her back, careful of her wings.

“You’re safe,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing. “I’m here, Angel. I’ve got you.”

She shifted slightly in his embrace, pressing her face further into his chest. “I thought—” Her voice cracked, and she shook her head. “I thought you were gone.”

His heart clenched at the brokenness in her tone. “I’ll never leave you,” he said fiercely, pulling her closer. “Not again. Not ever.”

They sat in silence for a moment, the quiet punctuated only by the sound of her uneven breaths. Azriel felt the weight of her against him, the bond between them faint but ever-present, and he knew he couldn’t keep this inside any longer.

“Angel” he began softly, his voice almost hesitant, “I need to tell you something.”

She didn’t pull away, but she tensed slightly in his arms, her head lifting just enough for her tired, blue eyes to meet his. “What is it?” she whispered, her voice wary.

Azriel swallowed, his throat tight. “I didn’t choose Elain,” he said, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. “I know it might have seemed like I did. I know I hurt you—” His voice broke, and he shook his head, his hazel eyes shining with something raw. “But I didn’t choose her.”

Her brows knit together, confusion and lingering hurt flickering across her face. “Then why?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “Why did you—?”

“Because I was a coward,” he admitted, his voice heavy with guilt. “Because I thought I didn’t deserve you. Because I thought if I pushed you away, you would find someone who deserved you. Someone better than me.” He cupped her face then, his thumb brushing away the tear that slid down her cheek. “But I was wrong. So wrong.”

Her lips parted slightly, her eyes searching his, as though trying to piece together what he was saying. “Azriel…”

“I choose you,” he said, his voice steady now, his gaze unwavering. “I’ve always chosen you, Angel. Even when I tried to fight it, even when I tried to push you away, it was always you.”

Her breath hitched, and another tear slipped down her cheek. “Why now?” she whispered. “Why tell me this now?”

“Because I can’t bear to see you like this,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “Because I can’t bear the thought of losing you again, of you thinking I don’t care, that you don’t matter to me.” He leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes as he whispered, “You are my everything, Y/n. You’re my mate. My choice. Always.”

Her hands lifted hesitantly, gripping his arms as he still cupped her face, as though anchoring herself to him. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he said gently.

Slowly, he moved his thumb to wipe away the tears that continued to fall, his touch featherlight yet firm, grounding. “You’re safe now,” he murmured, his hazel eyes searching hers. “They can’t hurt you anymore, Angel. I won’t let them.”

She exhaled shakily, the warmth of his palms against her skin was a balm to the storm raging within her. “I know,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “But the nightmares… they don’t stop. And when they come, I can’t—” Her voice broke, a sob escaping her lips.

Azriel wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. Her trembling body fit perfectly against his, and his wings shifted slightly to cocoon her, creating a sanctuary of warmth and protection. One hand rested on her back, his fingers splayed gently between her wings, while the other moved to cradle the back of her head, his touch tender yet firm.

“You don’t have to face them alone,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. His lips lingered there, the gesture filled with the love he no longer wanted to hide. “I’m here.”

Her sobs quieted as she melted into his embrace. “Will you stay with me? ” she asked softly, her voice muffled against his chest.

“Of course,” he replied instantly, his arms tightening around her. “I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

“No,” she said quickly, pulling back just enough to look at him, her blue eyes glistening with tears. “Not just tonight. Every night. Please, Azriel. The nightmares… they’re worse when you’re not here.”

His heart clenched, the weight of her words crashing over him.

She needed him.

She wanted him—not as a fleeting comfort, but as a constant presence.

He shifted back and brought his hands to her face, cradling it gently.

“Angel,” he said softly, his voice trembling as he leaned closer. “Are you sure?”

Her breath hitched, and she nodded. “You’re the only one who makes them go away,” she whispered. “When you’re here, I feel… safe.”

His throat tightened as he stared at her, his hazel eyes searching hers for any trace of doubt. But all he saw was trust, raw and fragile but unwavering. He exhaled shakily, his hands sliding to her shoulders before pulling her into him again, this time with a desperation he couldn’t hide.

“Will you hold me?” she asked, her voice so small, so fragile it nearly undid him. “Please.”

Azriel didn’t answer—he just moved. He slid onto the bed beside her, drawing her trembling form gently against his chest. She curled into him instantly, her face buried against his neck, her arm wrapping his waist. His arms wrapped around her, one hand softly brushing along her back, careful of her wings.

“I won’t leave,” he whispered into her hair, his voice low and steady. “I’m right here.”

Her body began to relax, the trembling easing as he held her.

Azriel pressed a soft kiss to her temple, his heart thundering in his chest as he felt the way she settled into him—like she fit perfectly there.

The bond pulsed faintly, the tether between them strengthening, solidifying in a way that made his throat tighten.

Her breathing evened out after a while, soft and steady against his chest. Azriel didn’t dare move. He didn’t dare break this fragile peace as he held her closer, his thumb brushing over the edge of her wings, gentle and reverent.

And as the stars outside the window flickered faintly in the night sky, Azriel closed his eyes, pressing another kiss to her hair as he whispered, “I’ve got you, Angel” ”

And as she drifted to sleep in his arms, safe and warm, Azriel pressed another kiss to her hair. .

******

Azriel POV

As her breathing began to slow, the tremors that had wracked her body gradually subsiding, Azriel tightened his hold on her. Her head rested against his chest, her soft hair brushing his jaw, her wings draped against the bed like a fragile shield she no longer needed to lift. His own wings curled protectively around them both, creating a cocoon of warmth and safety.

Her small arm was still wrapped around his waist, even in her sleep, as though afraid he might slip away if she let go. The sight of her like this—so vulnerable, yet finally at peace—sent a deep ache through his chest.

He brushed his lips against her hair, lingering there for a moment as her scent filled his senses, grounding him. He couldn’t stop his hand from moving, from gently tracing the curve of her shoulder, then the ridge of her wing where it met her back. His touch was light, reverent, as though she might shatter beneath it.

He couldn’t stop the images that flashed through his mind—her broken, terrified, calling out for him. And for a moment, the guilt was so sharp, he couldn’t breathe.

He had nearly lost her. The reality of it was crushing, a weight he felt in every beat of his heart. If he had been just a moment too late, if he hadn’t found her that night, she wouldn’t be here now, nestled in his arms, safe and alive. The thought of a world without her was a void he couldn’t comprehend.

She was everything to him.

His light in the darkness.

His reason to keep fighting.

His wings curled tighter around them, his shadows flickering with renewed determination. He glanced at the scar on her arm, barely visible in the dim light, and his jaw tightened. The people who had hurt her, would never escape him. He would hunt them to the ends of the earth if he had to.

“No one will ever hurt you again,” he murmured, his voice low but laced with quiet fury. “I’ll kill anyone who tries. Anyone who even thinks of laying a hand on you.”

The possessiveness in his tone was undeniable, but it wasn’t just about vengeance. It was about her. About the bond that thrummed softly between them, unbreakable. She was his—his mate, his heart, his soul. And nothing, no one, would ever take her from him again.

His hand slid to her face, his thumb brushing gently over her cheekbone as though to reassure himself that she was real, that she was here. “You’re mine, Angel,” he said softly, his voice trembling with the depth of his emotion. “You’ve always been mine. And I’ll protect you with everything I have. Always.”

He hadn’t realized how much he’d been holding back until tonight. For months, he had forced himself to keep his distance, push her away because he didn’t think he deserved her. But now, as she slept in his arms, the faint pull of the mating bond thrumming between them, he let himself feel everything.

The anger—at Hybern’s men, at himself, at the world for letting her endure so much. The guilt—sharp and unrelenting, a constant reminder that he hadn’t been there to protect her when she needed him most. But above all else, there was love.

A love so fierce, so consuming, it made his chest tighten and his throat burn. He had never felt anything like it before, this deep, unyielding need to protect her, to care for her, to be the anchor she could cling to no matter what storm she faced. She wasn’t just his mate—she was his everything. The thought of losing her, of her slipping away from him, was unbearable.

He glanced down at her, his hazel eyes softening as he took in the way her lashes rested against her cheeks, the faint parting of her lips as she exhaled slowly. Even now, after everything she had been through, there was a quiet strength in her, a resilience that humbled him.

She had asked him to stay, and he would. He would spend every night holding her, every day reminding her of her worth, every moment proving to her that she was not alone.

As she shifted slightly in her sleep, her arm loosening its grip around his waist, but still resting against his chest, he let out a shaky breath. His shadows softened, their once restless movements now gentle and protective as they curled around her.

“I love you,” he whispered again, his voice cracking with the weight of it. “More than anything, more than myself. You’re my everything, Angel. Forever.”

Forever. The word settled in his chest like a promise, as unyielding as the bond that tied them together. He kissed her again, his lips lingering against her forehead as he closed his eyes, letting the steady sound of her breathing soothe the storm inside him.

She sighed softly in her sleep, her body relaxing further against him, as though even unconscious she could feel the safety of his presence. The bond between them hummed faintly, a quiet promise that tethered them together, unbreakable.

Azriel rested his cheek against her hair, closing his eyes as he let the sound of her breathing calm his racing thoughts. He didn’t know what the future held for them, but he did know one thing with absolute certainty: he would never stop loving her, never stop fighting for her.

And as she slept peacefully in his arms, he made a silent vow to himself—and to her.

Whatever it took, he would help her heal. He would be her light in the darkness, her anchor in the storm.

He would be whatever she needed.

Because she wasn’t just his mate.

She was his home.

******

Y/n POV

This was the cost of what being rescued too late had done. It had given me life back, yes, but handed it over in pieces I had to painstakingly reassemble. I was learning, slowly, that though the harm could not be undone, it need not define me entirely.

In the safe quiet of Velaris’s gardens, I confronted old fears. Step by halting step, I ventured into busy markets, forcing myself to endure the proximity of strangers. I relearned how to laugh, tentatively, at small, gentle jokes. I experimented with trust, allowing a friend’s arm to linger a second longer, trying not to recoil. I discovered that some nights were quieter than others, and with Azriel staying with me every night, I could sleep.

In essence, I carried two timelines now: the one before Hybern’s men took me, and the one after.

The difference between them weighed on my soul. Before, I had imagined cruelty but not known its depths. After, I understood the darkness that could exist behind a friendly face, the way suffering could become a sport. That knowledge weighed heavily on my heart.

But within me scars lay a seed of resilience, too. Surviving that place, enduring their games and punishments, had proven that I possessed a well of strength deeper than I’d guessed. In time, I might draw from it, forging a new sense of self that incorporated these scars rather than being defined by them. I might learn to move without flinching,to love without fear. It would take immeasurable patience—from myself and from those around me—but the possibility remained.

For now, I did what I could: breathed the fresh Velaris air, soaked my aching muscles in warm baths, listened to music that reminded me not all voices cackled with cruelty.

Each day was a battle won quietly, without witnesses or fanfare. Each night survived in Azriel’s arms without screaming was a small victory. If I could endure torture, I could endure healing. If they had failed to break me completely in that cell, then I could rebuild myself outside it.

And that was what being rescued too late had done to me: it had etched trauma into my bones, taught me fear and suspicion, but it had not stolen my will to live, to heal, to grow beyond the pain. It had only made my scars into battle lines, reminders that I was still here, still fighting for myself. And in that truth, I would find the courage to keep going.

I just needed to find that girl from Summer Court again.

The one still there, just hiding until it felt safe to come out.

******

Y/n POV

I stood on the balcony of the House of Wind, my gaze fixed on the endless horizon where the mountains met the sky. The wind tugged at my long black hair, catching on the tips of my feathers as my wings flexed faintly behind me. I didn’t move, didn’t blink, as if staring long enough would reveal the answers I so desperately sought.

I wasn’t the same person who had danced with joy in the Summer Court, my magic weaving playful shapes out of water, laughter spilling from my lips as though it were endless. That girl felt like a ghost now, a shadow lingering in the farthest corners of my mind.

But I wasn’t entirely the broken woman who had been dragged from Hybern’s dungeons either, though the scars they left behind—both visible and unseen—still weighed heavily on me.

I was caught somewhere between the two, and it was tearing me apart.

Azriel was patient. Always patient. He never pressed me to speak about what I was feeling, never brought up the bond that hummed faintly between us, like a lifeline I wasn’t sure I deserved. He had been my constant, my anchor, through it all. He held me when I slept to keep the nightmares away, brushed my tears away with such gentleness it made me ache, and whispered quiet reassurances that I wasn’t sure I could believe.

But I hadn’t told him I loved him, except for whispering the words as he flew away from the battlefield.

The words he never heard.

Because how could I? How could I love him fully, completely, when I barely recognized the person I was anymore? When I didn’t know how to reconcile the carefree girl I had been with the haunted woman I had become?

“Angel.”

His voice was soft, a gentle murmur that broke through my spiraling thoughts. I turned to see him standing a few paces away, his hazel eyes searching mine, his expression unreadable but warm.

“I thought I’d find you out here,” he said, stepping closer, his wings folding neatly behind him. He didn’t touch me—he never did unless I reached for him first—but his presence alone was grounding.

“I needed air,” I murmured, turning my gaze back to the horizon.

Azriel nodded, standing silently beside me. He didn’t speak, didn’t pry, but I could feel his concern, the unspoken question lingering between them.

“I’ve been thinking,” I said after a long moment, my voice quiet but steady. “About who I was before. And who I am now.”

His brow furrowed slightly, but he said nothing, letting me continue.

“I don’t know how to reconcile the two,” I admitted, my hands gripping the balcony railing. “I feel like… like I’m not either of them. Like I’m someone else entirely, but I don’t know who that is.”

Azriel’s gaze softened, but still, he didn’t interrupt.

“I think…” I swallowed hard, my wings twitching as if in agitation. “I think I need to go back. To the Summer Court. To try to piece it all together. I need to figure out who I am—who I’m supposed to be now.”

Azriel’s expression tightened, just for a moment, before he schooled it into his usual calm. “If that’s what you need, I won’t stop you.”

My chest ached at the quiet resolve in his voice, the way he offered me the freedom to go even if it pained him. I turned to face him fully, my eyes locking on his.

“I don’t know how to be what you need,” I confessed, my voice breaking. “I don’t even know how to be what I need.”

Azriel stepped closer, his hand lifting as if to reach for me before he stopped himself. “You don’t have to be anything but yourself, Angel,” he said softly. “Whatever that looks like, whoever you decide to be—I’ll still be here.”

My breath caught at the raw sincerity in his tone, at the way his eyes shone with quiet, unshakable love.

“You’ve been through hell,” he continued, his voice steady. “You’ve had everything taken from you, torn apart, and yet you’re still standing. That’s enough, Angel. You’re enough.”

Tears pricked my eyes, and she blinked them away, her throat tightening as she nodded. “I have to do this,” I whispered. “For myself.”

“I know,” Azriel said, his gaze unwavering. “And I’ll be here when you’re ready. Always.”

The bond between them pulsed faintly, a quiet reassurance that I wasn’t entirely alone. But even as I felt it, as I saw the love in his eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to say the words I knew he needed to hear.

Not yet.

Instead, I reached out, my hand brushing against his. He caught it gently, his fingers warm against mine as he held my hand for a brief moment before letting go.

And as I turned back to the horizon,my heart heavy but resolute, I made a silent vow to myself. To find the balance between who I was and who I could become.

******

Azriel POV

Azriel stood beside her, his gaze fixed on the horizon for a moment before he spoke, his voice low and raw. “Angel,” he began, the weight of his words heavy in the stillness between them. “I know this is something you need to do for yourself. I won’t stop you. But… I need you to know something first.”

She turned her head slightly, her ocean-blue eyes meeting his hazel ones, and the pain etched into his face made her heart twist.

“I know I played a part in this,” he said, his voice trembling just enough to betray the guilt simmering beneath. “By pushing you away. By making you think I didn’t care. By making you believe, even for a second, that you didn’t matter to me.”

Her lips parted, but no words came out. She wasn’t sure what to say, wasn’t sure how to process the sheer remorse pouring out of him.

Azriel ran a hand through his hair, his wings twitching behind him. “I thought I was protecting you,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “Protecting you from me—from what I thought I couldn’t give you. But all I did was hurt you. And I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

The bond between them pulsed faintly, as if echoing the depth of his emotions. Y/n’s chest ached, the raw honesty in his confession cutting through the walls she’d built around her heart.

“You didn’t deserve that,” he continued, stepping closer but still keeping a careful distance. “You didn’t deserve any of it. And I hate that I made you feel like you weren’t enough—because you are, Angel. You’ve always been enough.”

Her breath hitched, and she looked down at the balcony railing, unable to meet his gaze. “I don’t know if I can believe that yet,” she whispered.

“I understand,” Azriel said softly, his voice steady despite the torment she could see in his eyes. “But I’ll keep telling you, as many times as it takes, until you do.”

Her tears spilled over, silent and unstoppable, and she bit her lip to keep her emotions in check. “You make it sound so simple,” she murmured. “But it’s not. I don’t even know who I am anymore, Azriel. I can’t give you something I don’t even have.”

“I know,” he said, his tone full of quiet patience. “And I’ll wait. However long it takes, I’ll wait for you. You need to figure out who you are, and I won’t stand in the way of that.”

She turned to him fully then, her voice trembling as she asked, “And if I don’t come back the same person? If I’m someone you don’t want anymore?”

Azriel’s eyes softened, and he stepped closer, gently brushing a strand of her hair away from her face. “That won’t happen,” he said firmly. “I’ve seen you at your strongest, and I’ve seen you at your lowest. It doesn’t matter who you become, Angel. I will always want you.”

The sincerity in his voice, the unwavering love in his gaze, broke something in her. She pressed her lips together, her emotions choking her words.

Azriel reached for her hand, holding it gently between his. “I just want you to know,” he said quietly, “that wherever you go, whatever you decide, you’ll always have me. I’ll be here when you’re ready. And even if you never forgive me for pushing you away… I’ll never forgive myself.”

Her tears spilled over again, and this time, she didn’t try to stop them. She squeezed his hand, her voice barely a whisper as she said, “Thank you.”

Azriel’s wings shifted slightly, as if resisting the urge to wrap around her, to shield her from the storm raging inside her. “Always,” he murmured, his thumb brushing gently over her knuckles.

Chapter 19

#azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel x reader #azriel fanfic #azriel fanfiction #acotar #azriel #acotar fanfiction

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moonmeg · 3 months ago

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Heartbeat

They're so cringe

What can you see on Micah's wall? - A Guide

1) "The Friendship Deal" - A letter reading: "To: Micah

From: Robyn

Will you be my B.F.F.E.A.A? <- Best Friend For Ever And Always?

■ Yes :) □ No :(

I really like you."

2) A paper craft made by Robyn for their friendiversary

3-5) Little notes Robyn likes to leave in Micah's school bag

6) "Always be yourself! -Mum"

7) "Life's tough. You're tougher. -Da"

8) A letter from Yvaine to her grandson.

"Dear Micah,

I hope you like your new home. I miss you terribly already. Please write to me whenever you can, so I know what trouble you're up to, what friends you made, and how you are doing. [Know that if you ever need advice you canna get from your parents -whatever the reason may be- , you can always come to me. You will have to wait a week or two before you receive my response, but I am always there for you. Tell your sisters I hope to hear from them too. I love you all very, very much.]

Love, Seanmhair"

9) A drawing made by young Micah depicting himself and Yvaine. Above the drawing, there is a text reading: "Is toil leam seanmhair" (= I like grandma)

10) A paper craft sun made by young Micah

11) A picture of Robyn and Micah at Ian and Val's wedding

12) Another little note by Robyn

13) "Bower Family Reunion" (cut off)

14) A paper craft heart made by Makenna for Micah's 14th birthday.

"Happy 14th. Not the worst brother. MK"

15) A picture of Robyn and Micah at about 14. Micah is at the front, Robyn is cuddling with Skye (Neil's palisman) and making a peace sign.

16) Another picture of Robyn and Micah. It depicts their first school day. Robyn is hugging Micah happily.

17) A note from Makenna.

"Dear little pest,

remember that when someone's a dick to you, bite them.

Love, Mak"

18) A note reading: "Am I that hard to love?" (Micah's emo phase 😭). An additional note right next to it reads: "16 year old Mike here: YOU ARE NOT!!"

19) Childhood plushie ♡

#tdaac #tdaac comic #tdaac snowfox #snowfox tdaac #micah bower #robyn clawthorne #toh #the owl house #toh oc #the owl house oc #toh ocs #the owl house ocs #toh fanart #the owl house fanart #toh fancomic #the owl house fancomic

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flowersforthemachines · 27 days ago

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Ranking everyone's Hero of the Veilguard armours (because I have nothing better to do)

I realised I needed to gather my thought's on everyone's drip so here are my humble opinions (with numbers and pictures)

Disclaimer: I took this very seriously, but you probably shouldn't. This is based on my personal opinion, which, while undoubtedly correct, may not align with your own. And that's okay.

14 - Titan's Vengeance (Harding)

That is definitely an armour. One of the armours ever, perhaps!

While I understand that it's meant to evoke the image of the dwarves as we see them in DAVG, I simply do not vibe with this outfit. Like, at all. It got an honest chuckle out of me when I saw it in the game, but I would never put Harding through the torture of wearing it. Which is too bad because I'd pick her embracing the Titan's anger over its compassion any day. A pity the fashion doesn't keep up.

13 - Rivain's Legacy (Taash)

Putting my opinions on certain aspects of their questline aside ("yes, you can be non-binary, but we draw the line at being multicultural"), this outfit doesn't even seem to be based on Taash's model. Anyone who has seen their romance scene (I have <3) should be able to tell these are not their legs. Their gorgeous calves wouldn't fit into those metal things. Bioware should be ashamed.

12 - The Qun's Honour (Taash)

That outfit doesn't make a lot of sense to me personally. I can live with the fact that most companion outfits are reused assets, but why is the Lords of Fortune armour of all things meant to represent Taash pursuing Qunari culture? Did no one at the office stop to think how weird that was? Like for real.

11 - Grey Benefactor (Davrin)

This outfit belongs in the "He Would Not Fucking Wear That" category. It also commits the cardinal sin of making Davrin look smaller (in my eyes), which not even the essence of Mythal could help to find redemption for. A shame after a shame.

10 - Crow's Tenacity (Lucanis)

This outfit is... a lot. Why is there so much metal, aren't assassins supposed to be silent 'n sneaky n' stuff? What are those patterns? Is that a FUR COLLAR??? I fell in love with a man with a horrible fashion sense

9 - Crow's Poise (Lucanis)

Marginally better than its counterpart, this outfit still leaves me with a lot of questions. I won't ask what is up with the feathers (I get it. they are crows) but I still find feather pauldrons to be a crime of fashion.

If Harding's Titan armour brought me a chuckle, this caused a groan because it took me 70h~ to reach the end of Lucanis's questline on my first playthrough and my reward was THIS?

(why did I have to fall for that guy of all people)

8 - Archivist's Mail (Bellara)

This simply does not scream Bellara to me. Even her glove and the scarf aren't enough to make that armour look like something of her own. It's definitely missing the flair (bits and baubles!!!) from her other armours, which may not be a fashion crime, but is still deeply regrettable.

7 - Wild Benefactor (Davrin)

This is like. It's a bit better than his other one, okay. It even started growing on me over time, in a way I can't comprehend yet also can't deny. Maybe he would fucking wear that, I don't know.

6 - Investigator's Robes (Neve)

I was originally tempted to rank it higher because I liked its description mentioning that Neve wearing robes (which she normally doesn't do) is a statement. It's cool thematically.

But I shall not let Bioware gaslight me into forgetting that it's just a Shadow Dragons robe conveniently recoloured to suit that narrative. Try harder next time.

5 - Graven Vestments

It's nice (especially compared to some other armours), but not Emmrich-y enough in my opinion. It lacks the personality present in his starting outfit. Peepaw deserves something more special for overcoming the greatest fear of his life, wouldn't you think?

4 - Threader's Plates (Neve)

This armour gets bonus points because it actually took me a while to recognise it was a recoloured Defiant Plate. Neve really makes it her own!

Other than that, it looks good, but is it *great*? It is *meaningful*? Not really. It would also look cooler if Neve's hair was down (the same applies to any other hatless outfit).

3 - Lich's Vestige (Emmrich)

That outfit is just so fucking cool. The exposed ribcage? The high collar? Black and gold? Now that is Emmrich Volkarin. And I do have a special appreciation for companion armours being, you know, *unique* models.

However, while undoubtedly stylish, the armour leaves behind a question: was it worth it?...

2 - Inquisition Spotter (Harding)

I may be an Inquisition hater deep down (sorry), but this armour still prompted a lonely tear to run down my cheek when I first saw it. It's such a nice callback to the past in a game that's so different from all previous DAs that it melted my cold, cold heart.

I was especially touched by the embroidery representing the members of the Inquisition. Harding carries her memories of them wherever she goes!!! :)

1 - Reborn Leathers (Bellara)

Is this biased? Yes, of course, this is biased. Bellara is my favourite girl, everyone else stood no chance. Like, she literally has a crown on her head - who else deserved the first place, if not her?

Jokes aside, this outfit is everything I would expect from a reward for completing a companion's storyline - a completely new outfit that retains the spirit of the original design while bringing new elements to it.

Sometimes what you need to make a good experience better is to see your fave in a cool outfit. For this one, Bioware has my sincere thanks.

#to clarify: I actually think the armour with feathered pauldrons is kinda cool my Crow Rook wore it #it's just not for Lucanis. I do not see him like that #I will however say that the extravagant armour or whatever it's called sucks in all its iterations #pc or npc that thing is beyond saving #dragon age the veilguard #veilguard spoilers #Taash #Lace Harding #lucanis dellamorte #bellara lutare #davrin #neve gallus #emmrich volkarin #top ten things to do instead of going to sleep like a normal person #who could have known that picking up DAO ten years ago would eventually lead to me writing this #these too shall be the time I will one day remember fondly #flowers.txt

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ladykailitha · 2 months ago

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The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 14

Hey guys! Welcome back! So this chapter is getting a little heavy on the angsty side, so just a heads up.

Things have been going great for all the stories especially the Christmas one.

This will be the story that keeps its usual schedule next week. Every other posting day will be finishing up the Olympic Swimmer one. So be on the look out for that.

Also super long chapter!

Steve tries out some hobbies, Joyce pushes, and Steve gets depressed.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Steve would like to say he got right on the job search the next day, but he really didn’t. He woke up refreshed and feeling good about himself. After a run on the treadmill and big breakfast he had already talked himself out needing to.

But instead he decided that he wanted to learn new hobbies. He had the money and pretty much unlimited time so why not?

The first thing he tried felting. Yeah, he had a lot of money, but he wanted to start with something cheap in case he got bored with it.

Taking the kit out of the box, he already ran into a problem. The leather finger gloves were much too small. Like he didn’t have fat fingers or anything but they were much too tight to fit on even his pinkie fingers he turned them inside out to see if he could make them bigger somehow.

He only succeeded in ruining the finger gloves. He tried rubber thimbles as replacements but still the sharp tool would pierce even the tough rubber.

The kit sat abandoned in a corner of his hotel room until one of the porters saw it and asked if he could have it. His sister did the felting all the time and she was having trouble finding colors she liked.

So Steve let him have it. Three days later the porter came back with a bright yellow canary and a female robin. He proudly displayed them on his nightstand next to the phone and alarm clock.

Robin loved them, but refused to take the robin. She said they shouldn’t be separated at any price.

Steve loved her a little bit more when she said that.

The next thing he tried was painting.

That lasted all of six hours before they got handed off to Will. It was a beautiful oil, acrylic, and water color set, with all the paint brushes and pallet and metal wood-handled pallet knives.

It lasted that long was because that was the time it took for Steve to set everything up, including an old sheet Rosa let him have, start painting and promptly knock everything over. The water, the paints, the easel. Everything. He broke the easel, knocked a hole in the canvas, and smeared paint all over the apron he had bought just for the occasion.

Will was happy to receive the paints, but in turn he gave Steve a simple notepad and pencil and taught him how to draw.

Steve liked that.

It was just for doodling and making silly pictures so it didn’t make him feel like a failure. He went to the bookstore and bought a bunch of books on how to draw certain things. Animals, the human figure. He even found this great reference book on clothes sorted based on the English monarch who was in power at the time the were wore.

Which was all well and good, but it wasn’t exactly what he wanted.

One day while he was over at Will’s talking art and whether or not kneaded erasers were worth the pain they caused if you dropped, Ellie introduced him to a new hobby. Will was against the things, Steve was for.

Jonathan huffed, “That’s probably a class issue as Steve here can afford to replace them and Will can’t.”

Steve and Will stared at each other in complete shock, but had to admit that Jonathan was probably right.

“Yeah, okay,” Steve huffed, “that’s fair. I guess I really didn’t think about it because it’s not my money I’m spending.”

“Have you tried looking for a job?” Joyce asked. She didn’t like that someone was paying to keep Steve safe. As nice as it was, in her experience the well tended to dry up when you least expected it to.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Yes, Mrs. Byers.” Which he had. Yes, he had been focused on trying to learn things that would keep his mind from atrophying, he had also been looking. “If they seen me coming they take down the sign or if they don’t get to it in time, they say it’s an old sign and that they forgot to take it down.”

Joyce’s shoulders slumped in sympathy. The rumor around town is that because Mr. Harrington was the landlord for a lot of the properties that the businesses were on, he had threatened to raise their rent if they gave Steve a job.

Something that all the adults promised not to tell Steve so that he wouldn’t get so discouraged as to not try at all.

But surely Clint Harrington didn’t own every business in Hawkins and she told Steve so.

“No,” Steve huffed. “But he’s friends with ones that he doesn’t. I’m going to try the mall next. Most of the them are franchises and have their main bosses outside of Hawkins.”

She let out a little sigh of relief. It showed that Steve was trying and actively thinking of these types of pitfalls.

Steve shifted uncomfortably. “What have you got there, Ellie?” he asked trying to shift the focus off of him for a moment.

Joyce was watching Ellie while Hopper was at work.

The young girl held up long satin strings of embroidery thread. She had three shades of pink, a white, and a red. She tied the ends to a safety pin that was pinned her leg.

“I’m making friendship bracelets for me and Max,” Ellie said proudly. “The pink is for me, and then I have these colors for her!” She held up blues and purples.

“That’s way cool!” Steve said scooting over to sit next to her.

Jonathan and Will shared a smile. Steve was lost to the shiny allure of friendship bracelets.

“I could teach you if you like,” she said with a smile. “I also have boondoggle!” She held up shiny plastic strips. “I make key chains and other things that need to last a lot longer than the thread.”

Steve really lit up, but then frowned when he saw out intricate it all was. “I’ll never be do anything that fancy.”

Ellie sat closer and pulled out a little paper that she had in her caboodle. “I couldn’t at first either, so I went to the library and took out a book on all the different ways you could plait and how to do boondoggle. Then I copied a couple of the pages I wanted to try.”

She handed it to him and pointed to the easiest. “That’s the one I started with and it will probably take a little bit to get the spacing right.”

Steve tilted his head. “Is this like braiding hair?”

“Yes!” Ellie said excitedly. “That’s right. I forgot you braid Max’s hair all the time. So then it will be easy for you.”

Soon they were off in their own little world.

Joyce watched with her arms crossed and a concerned expression. Jonathan spotted her and shook his head. He stood up and went to stand next to her.

“You’ve got to let it go, Mom,” he said gently. “You aren’t his mom and even if you were, he’s still an adult. As near as anyone of can tell, whoever is footing this bill isn’t in it to exploit Steve, just making sure he’s taken care of.”

Joyce breathed out through her nose as she tried not to snap at her son. She didn’t know that as a fact and Hopper’s reassurances weren’t enough. She hated having to take his word that whoever this was wouldn’t harm Steve. And that galled.

“It’s all the expensive gifts,” she tried to explain. “The car, the unlimited credit card, cash drops weekly, the gold necklace, the hotel. It’s just not right, it’s not decent.”

Jonathan shook his head. “What about all the non-expensive gifts? Things this benefactor thought Steve would like or get a kick out of? Like that little canary with top hat that he keeps on his dashboard? Or all the music tapes they send, thinking Steve might want to try something different. Hell, according to Steve until they left the country, they talked once or twice a day. That doesn’t sound like someone out to hurt him.”

She let out a shuddering sigh. Because Jonathan was right, that didn’t sound like someone trying to use Steve. “I know.”

Jonathan patted on her shoulder and then went into his room, probably to call Nancy. Another person like his mom who worried Steve was being taken advantage of. But even if he was, that was a lesson he was going to have to learn the hard way.

On his own.

Will had long since left to go hang out with Mike while Ellie and Steve made friendship bracelets. He made four. A black, red, and dark grey one for Eddie, a red, a brown, and a light grey one for Robin and two yellow, white, and black ones. So he could one each to Eddie and Robin.

“Those are really pretty, Steve,” Ellie congratulated him. “Those are some interesting color choices.” Spoken as though she was silently judging, but too polite to say so.

He blushed and held up the first one. “This is for my special friend, they are his favorite colors.” Then he held up the second. “And this is for Robin. The colors remind me of a female robin and the last two represent who I am now.”

Ellie blinked for a moment as she took in the information. “I can see that now. Thank you for explaining it to me.”

“I get my thread at Melvand’s,” she said serenely, “if you wanted to continue to make more, that’s where you would go to get your own.”

Steve kissed the top of her head. “Thank you, Ellie.”

He didn’t stay much longer than that, now that both of the other boys were gone, Joyce was keeping too close an eye on him with Ellie. He knew it wasn’t the gay thing as she didn’t mind Will being around her. And it wasn’t being a barely legal adult considering she would gladly leave Jonathan to look over her.

Nope.

It was entirely because she didn’t know who Steve’s mysterious benefactor was. And the thought of this unknown, probably male, person might hear about Ellie later? Yeah, that’s where she drew her invisible line.

Which was bullshit, like with Robin’s mom, Eddie wasn’t going to prey on little girls. He was freaking out about Steve might be underage when they met in the club. But it wasn’t like he could tell Joyce that. She might revoke his time with Will and Ellie if she learned he had been underaged drinking that night. The night Eddie saved him.

Steve went up to his hotel room and flopped face first into his bed. He was tired. Tired of all the questions about finding a job and getting out from under Eddie’s thumb. Like Eddie was financially abusing him or whatever.

He just wanted to bring people to his hotel room and show them all the little things Eddie sent him just because he walked into a gas station and saw something cute he thought he would like. The keychain from Kansas City with his name on it. The bright yellow shirt that said “I don’t take no shit” and had the Iowan state bird of the American goldfinch. That one came with a little note explaining that it was a canary, but the black on the wings reminded Eddie of the deliciously tight black leather pants.

Steve blushed for hours after that one.

He wiggled onto the bed and crawled under the covers without having taken off any of his clothes. Maybe he could hibernate until Eddie got back in America.

Steve managed to bury himself under the covers before the porter with the felting sister ripped the blanket off from over his head.

He stared blearily up at the porter. “Martin?” He struggled to sit up, but flopped back down on the pillow in distress. “Just leave me alone.”

“It’s Marty actually,” the porter huffed. “The only people that call me Martin are my boss and my mom. You’re not either.”

“Marty, I just want to go back to sleep.”

Marty pulled the rest of the blankets and yanked Steve off the bed. He went with a startled yelp. He leapt to his feet to fight him, but he saw that Bob and Rosa were standing by his bed with looks of concern on their faces.

“I have the shower running,” Bob said, “you will get in there and at least clean off the sweat you reek of. Then Rosa will change the sheets. Marty will bring up some food while you are showering, then the three of us are staging an intervention, because this isn’t like you!”

Steve opened his mouth to refute that statement, probably something about how no one called the whole time he as sulking.

Bob pulled out a stack of messages. “I have thirteen messages, and that’s only because the answering machine is full.”

Steve looked behind him and sure enough the machine was blinking complete with a full tape.

“Oh.”

He meekly went and did as he was told. He was only going to do a perfunctory wipe down because they were waiting for him, but once he got under the water it felt so good that he began to thoroughly scrub himself down. Normally going without a shower for a couple of days really didn’t do much, but because he had barely moved to pee, he was covered in thin layer of sweat.

He washed his hair and got out of the shower. He dried himself off and put on the long robe Eddie had gotten him. He opened the door and was instantly hit with enticing aroma of chicken noodle soup. He moved out of the bathroom to the main room, lured by the scent of real food.

The sofa was full of the hotel employees so he grabbed his bowl of soup and spoon and sat down on the armchair curled up as small as he could make himself.

“You frightened us, mi corazón,” Rosa huffed. “You weren’t answering your phone, you weren’t ordering food. The only way we could tell you moved at all is that occasionally the cup in the bathroom would be wet or you would be on the other side of the bed.”

Bob nodded. “We were told to look after you, money was no object. That’s what we were told, but you turned out to be kind and generous and frankly better than ninety percent of the patrons here. You treat us like we’re human, so it became our pleasure to serve you. So when you weren’t opening your door to anyone or answering your calls, we knew something was wrong.”

“Sorry,” Steve muttered into his bowl. “I just got so tired of everyone trying to find out who is bankrolling my life style and telling me to get a job that I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore.”

“It’s none of their business,” Rosa huffed. “They’re just jealous that they don’t have this life. I know your papa wants to hurt and all this for you protection, but it seems to me your friends just see the money you...” she snapped her fingers. “What’s the word?”

“I’d use ‘splash around’,” Steve said with a shrug.

“Ehhh,” she knew it wasn’t the word she was looking for but it would have to do. “They see the good. Not the bad. They see new car, but they weren’t there to see you give up your old car. They see the fancy hobbies, but they don’t see your big room and no one to fill it with.”

“She’s right,” Marty said. “I don’t think even the girl that comes with your gifts from Eddie Munson quite understands the crippling loneliness and isolation you have to be feeling right now.”

Steve sniffled into his soup. “Thanks, guys. I don’t know how to impress upon them how dangerous this all is for me. Like the only ones that remotely understand are the Hendersons and that’s because my dad showed up on their doorstep. But even then I don’t think Dustin quite grasps the enormity of it all, but then he’s thirteen so...”

“The only reason your father hasn’t penetrated hotel security,” Bob said with a grimace, “is that the owner, Dr. Sam Owens hates business men like your father. Otherwise, his hold over this town would have extended to here, no doubt about that.”

“So this is what’s going to happen,” Marty said, “if you need to sneak out and just go for a drive to get out of your head, call Bob and he’ll arrange it. If you need someone to talk to ring up Rose or myself. We’re here for you. We understand that Mr. Munson is out of the country right now and it makes it harder, but we’ve got you, okay?”

Steve nodded and said weakly, “Okay!”

Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss @blondie1006

2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @sticknpokelightningbolt

9- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart @dreamercec

10- @little-birch-boy @yearningagain @micheledawn1975 @sadisticaltarts

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #age difference #ten years between steve and eddie

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alllgator-blood · 9 months ago

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I have ten billion WIP sketches I need to finish, but for some reason I stayed up from 9 PM to 4 AM conceptualizing, making patterns, sewing, painting and applying makeup on this stupid fucking felt squid......the detailing needs to be cleaned up cause there's only one coat of paint so far, but he's pretty much done

my neighbors probably think I'm insane because I was running around the yard clenching this toy kallamar in a death grip and flying him around like an airplane/putting him in the barbecue/poking him with a stick. I want to tie him to a string and recreate the opening of napoleon dynamite >:) ALSO I MADE HIM SMOKE OUT OF A STUPID CRYSTAL PIPE BUT PLEASE DON'T ACTUALLY USE THOSE, THEY ARE SUPER TOXIC LMAO MINE IS FOR DECORATION

I don't have any process pics because I had tunnel vision autism style and forgot the rest of the universe existed while I was working on him. BUT if you're curious I'll ramble below the cut

Okay I am not a seamstress by any means. I've sewn my entire life but very, very infrequently. I've done plushies, clothes, cosplays, fursuits, accessories, etc. but I only do one like once a year, so while I planned to make all 5 bishops, I'm not really sure I'll get them all done. The material cost was like 20 bucks tops so I'm not too upset if I don't finish them. I AT LEAST WANT TO GET SHAMURA OR HEKET DONE.

here is the concept sketch ft. heket's toes and shamura's fingers. I decided to do his pre-schism version so I could fit him with jewelry! I did him first because like I said I sew infrequently and don't know wtf I'm doing, everyone else seemed a lot more complicated.

So I basically just traced this drawing on a printer paper-sized canvas in SAI, and guesstimated how everything would look in a 3D space. His head is four pieces, one triangle identical to the one in the picture, two wide triangles that are sewn together in the back, and a circle for his chin. You can't really see it in any of the pics but he's literally like a black cylindrical stick with little tentacles sewn on where his mantle connects to his cloak. The leg tentacles are one piece of felt that look like tassels, where they're connected by a rectangle but branch off into individual pieces. He can't stand up very well, so his cape keeps him up (that's gonna be an issue for every other bishop too except heket cause she's gonna be ROUND). Mostly everything like the crown, cloak, head, etc. are cones so I just had to make a lot of wide triangles.

For the details, I just used acrylic paint that was watered down so he's not especially crunchy, and for the blush tone I used a makeup palette my mom bought me 10 years ago in hopes I'd get in touch with my "feminine side", but I grew up into a nonbinary butch lesbian so OOPS. Kallamar looks better with makeup than me anyway. I'm kinda sad I couldn't get his freckles as lopsided as I draw them but it probably looks better in plush form to have them even anyway....

I could just post the pattern so I don't have to explain this but 1. I am mentally ill about the thought of my kallamar being in someone else's house and 2. the original pattern had to be tweaked while I was working on him so the final pattern straight up doesn't exist, I winged it the whole time

OH and the jewelry is just scrap pieces I had laying around, I might repaint it all to be gold instead of silver + bronze. I used 20g aluminum wire for his armlet thing, jumper rings for his earrings + ring (+ a diamond dot from my mom's kits for the gem) and chain for the bracelet. I made him an amulet as well but it felt like overkill so I took it off. I'm probably gonna make him a plague doctor mask and medicine bag sometime because I think about nurse kallamar more than I probably should :') I've already sewn one as a prop for a toy raven before so it shouldn't be too hard

#cult of the lamb #cotl #kallamar #plushie #felt craft #does this count as a plush or is it like a doll idfk #I just make shit because I feel like it not cause I can categorize it in any way #drug cw #ONLY CAUSE OF THE REAL PIPE #THERE IS NO ACTUAL DRUG USE HAPPENING

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korraofthereef · 3 months ago

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Holy shit. TIMEBOMB FANS STRAP IN FOR THIS.

(lots of you have probably already seen this video before, but here’s a quick reminder)

First let’s start with the pinned comment that breaks down time stamps in the video:

Introduction (Ekko did not just have a SLIGHT crush on Jinx lol) : [0:00]

RIOT geniously hiding stuff about Timebomb till the reveal : [1:32]

The timelapse (lots of uncorrect lines in the audio cause we didn't know they met at that time, so it was just me theorizing, but I guess I wasn't wrong now lol) : [2.35]

Ekko-Jinx background, Timelapse + what we know from LORE, and how RIOT been playing with our sanity : [3:20]

✨ WALL ANALYSIS [starting with the easiest ones to see, most interesting parts are near the end]

Intro : Ekko's Wall painted in a RORSCHACH Art style [patchwork graffiti] - being full of Powder & Jinx, Ekko being in love representations, and references to Arcane : [7:28]

Jinx's heroe number and Ekko having her X and her signature all over him : [10:09]

(!) Please see the threads in description to see it all pointed out (!) The video didn't really say it right but these pictures and explanations will definitely make you see what I mean, and also, what I mean about the hair-clip and the Firelight symbol might be theory but I have explained in my thread all the things I discovered that make me thing the Firelight symbol, seeing how it changed, might have a link with Jinx in the first place when it was invented by Ekko.

RIOT playing with us and hiding the fact Jinx was on the wall : [12:14]

This is NOT hypothesis : [12:58]

The developers pointing out the forms we need to see with the thunder hextech energy : [14:54]

Yes, Ekko was in love, and he represented himself 6 times looking at her with bewildered eyes, heart in his eyes, blushing or spying on her during their teenage days : [15:18]

✨ SUMMARY FOR THE THE PAINTINGS --------

NOTE : sometimes you will see the paintings I’m pointing out even better in the next paintings I will point out. By exemple, the Firebomb and the Ekko blushing drawing described in N°2, are clearer and more easy to see in the screencaps pointing out painting N°3! Just try sticking till the end of the video to see them all! ;)

First observations & How I started my Analyze : [16:11]

N°1 - Arcane Jinx main painting on the left - representing Ekko’s Hope to get her back : [16:41]

N°2 - Powder main painting on the right (double faced Powder-Jinx + Ekko blushing + Jinx Chumper bomb) : [17:44]

N°3 & N°4 (I apologize for the lame quality of this one but it was quite hard to make it stand out!) - Screaming/crying Powder, teenage Powder-Jinx drawn K/DA style boxing + teenage Ekko with his Firelight jacket standing on the other side : 5 scenes painted in one and moving along with the seconds! (SIDE NOTE : the cube design on the painting represents the Arcade place in which Jinx boxes the machine, I forgot to mention it in the video!) : [19:19]

N°5 - Vi abandoning Powder - exact Arcane scene : [21:28]

N°6 - Get Jinxed scene from Arcane and Ekko spying on her : [22:14]

N°6, 7 & 8 - Ekko representations watching with bewildered eyes, blushing, with his Firelight mask AND A HEART around the 2 middle Powder & Jinx paintings : [25:20]

Back on N°7, beautiful painting of teenage-adult Jinx with shimmer eyes on top of the wall : [26:26]

N°9 - Little Powder from Arcane & Ekko blushing next to it : [27:47]

N°10 - Doll Jinx with Arcane's clothes : [28:28]

N°11 - Black & white picture of the same screaming/crying Powder represented on painting N°3 : [28:50]

N°12 (that you can see more clearly later in the screencaps of N°27!!) - Ekko in GILDED skin & Jinx with untie long hair drawn in negative mode : [29:04] (!) in the video I said Firelight jacket but now that I discovered all the Ekko-Jinx matching stuff in the Gilded universe (and them hiding in the crowd side-by-side on the Caitlyn’s Gilded artwork lol), I realized it looked like Gilded Ekko in that painting!

N°13 - Young Ekko with unknown person on his side but seeing how the rest of the wall is Jinx, it is probably Powder : [29:19]

N°14 - Young Powder & Ekko talking, probably the talk they had after Powder was taking in by Silco, seeing how Ekko is represented like a skeleton (dying inside) : [29:37]

N°15 - Jinx blue smoke/cloud tattoos representation (!) this cloud I'm pointing out is actually part of the ''cracking the hextech scene'' I've discovered later on, and is located on her shoulder! I will show the painting of that scene later in the video don't worry ! ;) [30:25]

N°16 - Symbols next to the Get Jinxed painting, that have different meanings in the next scenes I will show when the wall will be upside down (singing, crying + hextech symbols) : [30:32]

N°17 - THREE PAINTINGS IN ONE : Powder's red eye when she looks at Silco at the end of Act 3 + Jinx's face/mouth when she looks at Ekko before she made her bomb explode : [30:45]

N°18 - Representation of baby Powder's trauma on the bridge : [31:54]

N°19 - Lighting the flare scene drawn negative mode again, being represented in every way/side you turn the wall : [32:12]

N°20 - Random elements, like Ekko's young blushing face, giving the shape of a heart when you turn them upside-down : [32:29]

N°21 - Young Powder with Arcane's clothes, but looking more fierce as the Powder we know. Perhaps one Powder from Ekko's memory, or the Powder from the Timelapse : [32:40] (!) You can see this painting more clearly in the screencaps of N°27 (!)

N°22 - Jinx drawning/reborn scene with Silco : [32:56]

N°23 - (sorry I have deleted this one since I couldn't point it out in the video, but here's what it was : the black canvas on each side of the scene, also have Jinx & Powder's representations on them, but you'll have to zoom in and improve lighting + the quality yourself to see them cause it can't be shown in a video ToT/)

N°24 - Powder’s leather bag + teenage Ekko staring + blue & pink hand palm : [33:17]

N°25 - Big Jinx monkey-bomb from Arcane, near the other paintings of that exact same scene : [33:37]

N°26 - Drawn negative mode : ''Devil'' Jinx from the bridge scene : [34:08]

N°27 - Two paintings in 1 - Teenage or adult Ekko & Jinx + Ekko’s Gilded skin again ? : [34:31]

N°28 - Jinx ''cracking the Hextech'' scene : [34:57]

N°29 - Firelights representations, same as the ones Jinx drew in her Diary : [35:40]

N°30 - end [36:05]

MORE INTERPRETATIONS & BETTER QUALITY OF SOME PAINTINGS :

N°12 - Ekko & Jinx with untie long hair drawn in negative mode but also, if you look at it at [34:55], you'll see it way more clearly AND also see that it gives Jinx lighting up the flare scene with Ekko on his overboard flying around her.

N°27 - at [34:37] you'll see the young Powder from N°21 way more clearly!

The Jinx Monckey-bomb. At [30:58] ; [31:55] and [34:13] you might see the Jinx Monckey-bomb more clearly as the pictures are in better quality or more focused on this area !

N°22 [32:06] : I forgot to mention it in the video but in that drawing-reborn scene with Silco, you can actually see fingers/a hand (drawn by the Jinx mouth from N°28) pushing on Jinx’s skull/in her hair which seems to be pulling her under water.

More stuff about the Get Jinxed painting and the Devil Jinx one : on top of the Get Jinxed painting, there is a scary white mask/face that I believe to be representing Silco. When you turn the picture upside down, and try not focusing on that mask, it then gives off the Devil Jinx I showed earlier.

Also, the big yellow/bewildered eye in the middle of Jinx chest in the Get Jinxed painting could be representing the Eye of Zaun, as this a tech-nerd Jinx being represented here, and as Ekko is represented staring/spying on her, it could imply that Ekko has recognized Powder in her in that moment, the Zaunite child with whom he grew up with and whom he loved.

End note : I forgot to mention it in the video but there are also 2–3 Vi representations on the Jinx paintings, one from the scene where she left her on the street and went to calm herself away from her, and another with her head and shoulders down, on the main Jinx painting on the left, that looks like the Vi introducing scene from Episode 4 in the prison.

OKAY INSANE. Next I’m gonna give you some screenshots I took so y’all can get some visuals to the stuff you just read. Also, WATCH THE VIDEO!!! The creator does a lot better at exposing than I do—never mind the fact that this is literally their findings! (I didn’t find any of these, just watched the video and now spreading it to tumblr). I have absolutely no recollection of which N• photo these images belong to so you’ll have to play connect the dots lmao

A lot of the images also already have text on the screen explaining, I’m just gonna paraphrase what the voice in the video (not the text) is saying.

These two photos are telling us how Ekko’s down bad ass based the entire firefly logo off of Jinx and her logo… and for the context in the first image about the emboldened Z, here it is:

PRACTICALLY IDENTICAL.

This is the video creator explaining their level 1 billion brain power on thinking outside the box and how the idea of the painting was to go back to an Ekko origin short that came out YEARS before Arcane did. They’ve been planning this entire time, and when the description pasted far above talking about the different photos it was talking about the images painted on a wall in an Ekko origin (will show screenshots next)

The creator of the yt video found almost FORTY Jinx paintings and references to Arcane (which hadn’t been anywhere near its release date when the origin came out.

These ones on the large wood slab are CRAZY. The artists and develops had loads of fun because in the last photo you can see jinx screaming/crying if you focus on all the colours in the photo.

However, the YouTuber blurred Jinx’s face to hell you focus on the blues and pinks where the developers/artists made kind of like a moving mini scene that moved while the video itself moved. To my understanding you can see Jinx boxing and at some point Ekko shows up, too.

(I’ll repost this so I can add more images 👍)

#✮ reef talks #arcane #timebomb #theories #league of legend #Ekko #jinx #crush #before you started talking to the gun #league of legends #lol

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laweema · 8 months ago

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Your Joy Ang style drawings look amazing! Do you have any advice for mimicking it?

HOW TO JOY ANG STYLE

Hi there! Yes I have. I will advice everyone, who want co mimic Joy's style, firstly to watch her speedpaints on her youtube channel. ( https://www.youtube.com/@JoyAng ) And watch her other arts, at her site - http://joyang.ca/artwork/ You will need to analyze how she works.

Earlier I didn't get it right away because I didn't quite understand it, but now I know some things:

1. Joy Ang makes a rough sketch of the entire drawing, and then colors it

2. Joy Ang first draws the works with a line, sometimes even on paper

Added my Kinkajou without color to the block

3. Then she creates a base layer under the line

4. Then (not always, but as I understood in most cases) merges the fill and line layer into one and begins to work with color and shades, pipetting the colors from the sketch (I'm saving the layers with the line just in case something goes wrong) Use the "transparency lock" to stay within the bounds of the fill !!!

5. For dragons with lots of scales, like Kinkajou, personally, I first work with the color under the line and only then merge to make light on the scales, otherwise I will smear them all

6. Joy paints with STROKES, very very small strokes, which may make it a little difficult to work, but then the work will be more like Joy Take a closer look!

7. Joy often, but not every time, draws a very contrast line of light next to the contour in her work

8. Her line is not smooth! It's textured!

9. The backgrounds in her works are a great example of working with contrast. Almost all of Joy's backgrounds are very light, sometimes almost white against the background of the characters. This is in order to highlight the character and focus attention on them.

10. Very important! Joy sometimes neglects anatomy in order to create an eye-pleasing picture, here's an example - flowing lines in her drawings, yes, dragons do not have a pelvis, but their body turns very beautifully and smoothly twists. I would compare this to animation, where the characters also usually have smooth, pleasant features.

Bad for anatomy, but great for stylysation!

11. And I think it should be said that her work is full of color, so don't limit yourself to "white and black" by painting light and shadow.

So.. That's it! You will need practice to completely repeat the style, try to study Joy Ang's work yourself, and make some small drawings first to get used to the style, good luck!

#wings of fire #wings of fire art #wof #tutorial #joy ang #how to draw #wof art

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transhuman-priestess · 3 months ago

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How I Scan Negatives

I've been doing film photography for 3 whole weeks so of course I am now an expert and you should toooooootally listen to me for my expert opinion on this matter.

But in seriousness, this post isn't meant to be a how-to guide, but if you can glean some useful information from it, that's really neat and I'm glad.

Part 1: The Scanner

There are a couple different ways to scan negatives. The simplest is known as camera scanning, and that just means you use some kind of backlight and take a close-up picture of a negative with a digital camera of some kind.

I've done a couple of scans like this but since it ideally relies on a macro lens, something which costs about $300 at a bare minimum, and more if you want one that's actually, yknow, good. Also, camera scanning inherently limits you to one picture at a time.

So my scanner is a flatbed Epson "Perfection" V600. I purchased this scanner because it is the least expensive flatbed scanner you can find that also does transparencies. It can scan 12 35mm negatives or two 6x9cm 120 negatives at a time. The Perfection V850 can do a full 36 exposure roll of 35mm but costs 4.33x as much.

So this thing is fine.

The first step is to cut my negatives up. This isn't as horrifying as it sounds. I have binder pages that hold 6 6-exposure strips, so a full roll of 35mm (which i will from here on out refer to with the slightly antiquated but slightly faster to type "135") takes up a single page.

Next, I mount them in the handy negative mounting frame that Epson provides, and put it in the scanner.

Now we can move on to the actual scanning.

Part 2: Scanning Software

This is, without a shadow of a doubt, the most irritating part of the whole ordeal. There's lots of decent scanning software out there, but there's fewer options for really good scanning software. Most of the "automatic" stuff sucks at being automatic so I end up doing most of it manually.

The scanner comes with the inventively named "Epson Scan," which is a very competent program if you want to scan and don't care about dust and scratches on your film. That is because I have yet to figure out what combination of options actually gets it to properly remove dust and scratches. This is mandatory, because I do not have $10,000 to spend on an industrial-grade negative pressure ventilation system for my bathroom/processing lab. Dust is avoidable, but ultimately inescapable.

The ins and outs of dust and scratch removal are interesting but not interesting enough for me to do a deep dive on them. The very short version is that the scanner scans every frame twice, once with visible light and once with infrared, and overlays the information from these to get rid of dust and scratches.

So instead of using the admittedly competent pack-in software, I opted to purchase SilverFast 9 SE. I paid $49 USD for this because I could not find a cracked version of the full-featured "HDR Suite" version and, frankly, i haven't missed the additional features.

SilverFast has a wizard option (Do they still call it that?) that walks you through the various steps of scanning. I haven't used it since my first roll.

The first step is to do a "pre-scan", which just scans the whole thing at a low resolution so you can pick the frames out of the lineup.

This is my screen at this point. The first step is to draw around the individual frames. This takes about 5-10 minutes depending on how anal i'm being about framing and overscan.

Now that i've let the computer pick the frames to save time for demonstration purposes manually picked my frames its time to boost the scan resolution from a postage-stamp 300 pixels per inch to an actually-usable 3200. You'll also note that i'm scanning these as "positives" rather than negatives. The "negative" scan option adds something called "Negafix" that i cannot turn off and that tries to color-correct for the negative stock's film base color. It is monumentally bad at this unless your stock is pre-loaded in its database which, as far as I can tell, hasn't been updated since 2005. We'll deal with that later though.

Now that we have the basic setting defined we go over to the "frame" menu seen above and copy these settings to all frames. I could set them manually, but copying settings over is the one thing this software is good at doing automatically. This may have something to do with the fact that it is essentially copy-and-paste, which you may recognize as a basic feature of every computer since 1987.

Occasionally, and unpredictably, the scanning software will turn on "Unsharp Masking." The wikipedia page on this option will explain it. I will not, because my contempt for the option rivals my contempt for the Republican Party, The Catholic Church, and Portland's insistence on driving 5 below the limit on the highway. I turn it off and if I could i would find whoever invented this option and eat their dog.

Once that is turned off we get to turn on the most beautiful option that SilverFast 9 SE has to offer, iSRD. iSRD is the previously-mentioned scratch-and-dust removal.

I have found that, in this one instance, the automatic settings are completely acceptable to me. They eliminate most of the really problematic dust in high-detail areas. The hairs and dust that gets left behind is usually easy to deal with via clone stamp later.

Now that the boring stuff is out of the way we get to the tedious, yet, to me at least, fun part. Histogram adjustment!

What you're seeing here is a histogram, its a graphical representation of the brightness of an image. Our goal with this is to maximize the dynamic range of the image. All that blank space to the right of the "mountains" (and some of the "lowlands" on the left) need to be eliminated so that the file can use as much of the bandwidth they have for actual useful image file stuff. This is pretty simple. We just slide those little arrows until they bound the mountains better.

Once we do this we can check the output histogram and see how it's mapped all the image data to the full bandwidth.

This has to be done individually per-frame, since each frame is slightly different.

Now that's done we can actually scan. I use the "Batch Scan" function, which scans everything one-after-the-other. I'm not going to show the dialog windows because 1.) its boring and 2.) I don't want to reconfigure the save path the way I did for the above images. It's a privacy thing.

After we've scanned everything its time to move on to...

Part 3: Color Grading

This is the part you've never heard about before. It's the most involved, and the most important, and it's worth getting into why.

Computers are amazing at storing information, at sorting information, at rearranging and processing information, but they are fundementally incapable of the most important part of dealing with information, assigning meaning.

I'm sure a lot of folks are going to be very very angry at me for saying that, but I actually don't care, and what's more, I'm confident the computer scientists I know will agree with me.

Film is better at storing images than computers. Period, this is a physical fact. The amount of dynamic range and resolution contained in film exceeds the ability of computers to contain it completely. So scanning is always going to be about compromises. You're trying to maximize the amount of useful information you can see by eliminating as much of the un-useful information as you can. But the computer doesn't actually know what is and isn't useful, so we have to tell it.

In order to do this, we use image editing software. I know a lot of photographers who swear by Photoshop, but fuck Adobe, and I know a lot of photographers who love GIMP, but GIMP's user interface is so convoluted as to be detrimental to my purposes. So I use Paint.NET, which is Windows-only, a fact which is sure to get me hate mail from several users including one of my best friends. (Sorry, Murder*.)

Here we have an unaltered** negative. There's a bit of overscan you can see on the left side of the image, and obviously its currently in portrait orientation. Before we go any further, I'm going to fix both of these things.

I like to crop my negatives in a 3:2 ratio. This is the natural aspect ratio of 135 film, and i like that similitude. Paint.NET lets me set a fixed aspect ratio for selections, which is nice

Now that the overscan has been cropped out and the picture is rotated properly, we can invert the image to a positive, and here is where it will become apparent to you exactly why color grading is important, and why there's no such thing as an "pure scan".

Wow! That's very...blue? Well, yes, it is. Color negative film mostly has an orange base. This helps compensate for shortcomings in the dyes used, and those shortcomings are why we have to color grade. The next step I take is to open the "levels" controls, where you'll see our old friend, the histogram!

This histogram looks different, but it's the same basic concept, with the difference that this program lets me adjust red, green, and blue individually. You'll also note that the individual RGB histograms broadly look similar, just out of sync. This is because of the orange base. They won't always look that similar, and in this case it's largely because the sky was overcast that day and there's a large amount of gray in the entire image.

We're going to adjust the input histogram first. Here, our goal is to map the maximum amount of dynamic range possible to the final image. Color balance is not yet important. So we slide the little arrows up and down from the top and bottom so that as much of them fill the output histogram as possible without clipping.

What is clipping? Clipping is when the black or white levels "blow out". Some clipping is acceptable in some images. A bright, sunny day will invariably have some clipping, and if you go out of your way to avoid it the image will look weird and flat. But in a picture like this where everything is muted and gray, we want to avoid it.

Clipping, by the way, looks like this, and is why i don't let the computer automatically adjust the level balance. Some people like this look with the deep black shadows, I do not.

But, onto doing it the Proper*** way

You can see the image is looking a lot better, but it still has a notably off color cast to the image. Its kind of green. Now we can move on to adjusting the output histogram. There's two ways to deal with this. We can adjust the input red, but this will result in highlight clipping. I actually don't mind highlight clipping as much, and in this case we have several red lights in the image both on the BMW and the crossing gate, so we're going to adjust that input histogram.

Truthfully, I should have thought of this before picking this image to do a demonstration on, but at this point its too late to turn back, and like I keep saying, this isn't a "how-to" guide.

So we still have a bit of a color cast, but its (mostly) in the midtones. Now it's time to bring out our secret weapon: gray balance, also known as neutral point or gray point.

That middle slider can be adjusted for red, green, and blue independently, and that's exactly what we're going to do.

This looks, for the most part, very good. I'll probably go back and tweak the gray points in the red and green a bit more, and i often go through these steps 2-3 times, repeating with finer adjustments before finally confirming the changes.

Truthfully, I don't remember if the BMW was pure white or eggshell white, so i'm going to err on the side of "eggshell" because the rest of the image looks weirder if i adjust for that white to be "pure".

And now, Voila! A fully color-graded image.

Does it look exactly like it did IRL? No, not quite, but again, scanning is all about compromise. I'm sure someone with more experience could do a better job than me, but the point here isn't to show you how to make things perfect, it's to show how I, Ivy Michaels do this.

If you made it through this far, congratulations! I love you! I hope you found this interesting. Thanks for reading <3

*Murder is e's actual name.

** i have censored the license plate of the 25-year-old BMW in my shot out of privacy concerns. It is not my car, and i do not know the owner. The negative has not been cropped, rotated, inverted, or graded in any way. Only the license plate has been removed by select-and-stretch. *** Despite my repeated slides into "we/us" language, this is not a how-to and is not intended to be a statement of objective correctness. It is "correct" in the sense of "correct to my personal workflow"

#film photography #film scanning

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