#I picked these specific scenes for reasons I'm happy to talk about

[major-comet]

The Best Red vs Blue Watch Order Guide Ever. Of All Time.

So. You want to watch Red vs Blue, huh? Maybe you read my long post about how it's so weirdly incredible yet impossible to recommend and now you want to give it a shot. Or maybe you have seen the show before, but it's been a long time and/or you didn't watch any of the mini-series or anything and want to give it another go. Either way, looking at a show with a 21 year history is kind of daunting, and you have no idea where to start.

Well luckily for you, I've done the work for you.

This watch guide will cover all 19 seasons of the main show, most of the mini-series, and some of the PSA's and other such bonus content. There will be links provided for where you can watch everything I talk about. This Google Drive (from reddit u/Exitity, unsure if they also have a tumblr) has all of the individual episode uploads, and most of the stuff I'm going to be talking about, although I'm trying to use YouTube links wherever I can. Any links will be colored in light blue for additional visibility.

Couple of quick things before we begin.

When possible, watch the individual episode uploads rather than the "complete" editions. The "Completes", while they may provide a more streamlined viewing experience by cutting out all of the bumpers and outros and such, accomplish this by cutting out a lot of jokes. RvB has a lot of jokes that happen during the fade to black at the end of an episode, and a lot of those get lost in the edits. There's also some things that just straight up get cut for seemingly no reason. Side note, the DvD/Blu-Ray versions seem perfectly fine, and honestly are even better to watch than the individual episodes if you have them. They're like a best of both worlds - adding some extra music and such (ESPECIALLY in the first 5 seasons) that really helps make a nice presentation of the show. If that's an option available to you, I recommend it. Otherwise, stick with the individual episodes.

At the end of each entry in the list, I may present a Side Quest section. This will include anything I feel you should watch that isn't necessarily canon, but helps add some extra life to the series. This may include some behind the scenes stuff or a selection of the PSA's and the non-canon mini-series. This stuff can be really great for building out the characters in a way that doesn't necessarily affect the greater story, and can especially be good for interactions between characters that maybe don't interact much in the main show. Anything I put in a Side Quest is strictly optional, but will add to your viewing experience. Obviously, there's a lot more bonus material than what I'm putting here. I'm just putting down some of the highlights. And if you end up liking the PSAs and such then just know: there's so much more for you to explore.

Early RvB is very much a product of it's time, and sometimes you'll get hit with a line that stops you dead in your tracks. Adult-oriented comedies can always be a minefield, and RVB's roots as a show made for Halo fans in 2003 definitely don't help. However, while this is the most common in the first five seasons, it never really stops being an issue. The purpose of this guide is simply for watch order, but if you have any specific trigger-related questions about any season of rvb please feel free to shoot me an ask or even a DM - i'm more than happy to help.

Okay, let's begin, breaking it down by arc.

The Blood Gulch Chronicles

You may hear people telling you to skip the first five seasons of the show and just pick up with Season 6. Those people are lying to you and do not have your best interests at heart. The first five seasons are pretty much strictly comedy, and from Season 6 onward the show starts to explore deeper themes and stories while still falling back on that comedic foundation. Skipping straight to the deeper stuff doesn't work very well IMO, because those five seasons are spent getting to know the characters we're going to be following for the rest of the show. The stuff that happens in Blood Gulch never stops being important - whether it's side characters showing back up again later on, or laying the foundation for a lot of the moments and story lines that make some of the later seasons so special.

Anyways, the watch order.

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

Out of Mind - Mini-series

Season 5

Blood Gulch Side Quests

Tattoo Point/Counterpoint - Season 1 PSA

A Message to the Science Community - Season 2 PSA

Real Life VS. The Internet - Season 2 PSA

All of the deleted scenes, honestly, but This One in particular because asphodel and I quote it all the time.

The Outtakes/Bloopers - I'm not gonna put the link for these and the deleted scenes for every arc, but just know that you should watch them after every season/arc. There's some great stuff in there.

The Season 5 Alternate Endings

Either watch it Now, or after you watch the finale, but I highly recommend the 2003 Season 1 DVD Commentary. It's just Burnie (Church/Lopez/Vic) and Geoff (Grif), and it's really nice.

If you've ever watched any behind the scenes stuff for RvB or even rooster teeth as a whole, you have almost certainly seen This Clip, which is a behind the scenes of the voice recording for Grif and Simmons' lines in episode 1.

The Recollection

Recovery One - Mini-series

Season 6 - Reconstruction

Relocated - Mini-series

Season 7 - Recreation

Season 8 - Revelation

Recollection Side Quests

First! - Season 6 PSA

Small Rewards - Season 6 PSA

Rock the Vote and Rock the Veto - PSAs made to encourage RvB viewers to register to vote. Which at the time you could do on your xbox 360. These are here mostly as a "wtf" historical piece.

Halo-Ween - Season 7 PSA

Valentine's Day - Season 7 PSA

Fire Safety: Where There's Smoke... - Season 7 PSA. genuinely one of the best.

Holiday Plans - Mini-series

The Reach PSA series - Three parts total, only part one is linked.

Project Freelancer Saga

Season 9

Technically there's two mini-series that take place during Season 9 - being M.I.A. and Where There's a Will, There's a Wall. I really love them, and would recommend watching them after S9, but if you really want to roll into S10 you won't miss much. Weirdly there's a place later on that would be a great spot to circle back to these, but I'll save that for later.

Season 10

Project Freelancer Side Quests

This is a great spot to circle back to older side quests you may have skipped, btw.

The Season 10 Table Read BTS - Season 10 was the first time they ever did a full cast table read for the show, and it's cool to see a few snippets from it and hear the crew talk about it.

Matt Hullum Talks to Himself - watch this after M.I.A. it's a live table read of part of the script, with a focus on a conversation between Sarge and Doc (who have the same voice actor)

This 10 Year Retrospective that was put out around Season 10. Watching it now, knowing that they were about halfway through the lifespan of the show / company gives it a whole new perspective.

RT Oz - PSA

Remember Not to Forget and Voting Fever - PSAs made to promote the launch of Halo 4. Voting Fever is one of the Best Ever (and listen to the full version of That's How Voting Works afterwards!)

This Interview between Burnie and Trocadero talking about the music the band has done for the show. This playlist also has a bunch of other behind the scenes and other such bonus stuff from the DVDs and Blu-Rays, it's great to keep around.

The Chorus Trilogy

Season 11

The Chorus Journal Entries - Only three have fully machinimated versions, the last one is just the log entry. Bridges the gap between 11 and 12

Season 12

Season 13

Chorus Trilogy Side Quests

#1 Movie in the Galaxy - PSA

Getting Away From it All - PSA

#1 Movie in the Galaxy: 2 - PSA

Uh. I think the RvB Holiday Special goes here

Matt Hullum (Sarge) reading an excerpt from 50 Shades of Gray at a book signing.

Season 14 - Anthology

I get it: not everyone loves the Anthology format. I truly do recommend watching all of it at least once - or if you haven't in a long time. My only Side Quests are to say that this is the perfect time to go back to M.I.A. and WTAWTAW if you skipped them after season 9, and that if you skipped the #1 Movie In the Galaxy PSAs during Chorus, watch them now before the third one, which is in this season.

The Shisno Trilogy (seasons 15, 16, and 17)

Season 15

Season 16 - The Shisno Paradox

Season 17 - Singularity

Shisno Side Quests (this is taken from our survey data because it's been so long since I've watched much of any shisno-related stuff)

Hard Truths - PSA

Diversity - PSA

Cultural Appreciation - PSA

Lopez's Technical Guide to Empathy - PSA

Unreal Estate - PSA

Caboose's Guide to Finding Your Home - sequel to the Guide to Making Friends from season 14

RvB: Zero + Family Shatters

okay so here's the deal. If by this point, you're really just interested in the characters you've been watching for the past 17 seasons and not so much the story or anything - you may not get much from watching Zero. I do think it's interesting to watch, if only because I think it's got a lot of missed potential. Zero is not served well by being a season of RvB, I think I would have liked it a lot more if it were stand-alone, though that doesn't fix all of my issues with it. If you wanna jump straight to the series finale, you absolutely can. It's a pretty short watch, though, and I've heard that Family Shatters was better. I'll watch that one at some point.

Zero

Family Shatters - spinoff

Restoration

This is it! The series finale.

I'm not doing this with an other season (though I do recommend going back and watching all the teasers and trailers at some point), but before you watch the finale you should watch The First Trailer For It. I think it sets up the season really well, and helps make some of the rushed set-up exposition in Restoration make a little bit more sense. honestly this should just be considered the first scene of the finale. Then watch the finale, and then you are done with all of the main show of Red VS Blue. Go forth, and be free.

Final Side Quest

I'm putting anything that came out in the nebulous time between Zero and the finale in here. I'll come back and edit this once we find out what on earth is going to be on the Blu-Ray.

Offensive Driving

First Person Tutor

Moving Out

The Video RT Made to Announce Master Chief and Blood Gulch Were Coming To Fortnite. This played at the game awards and my soul almost left my body

This is also where I'll put QvsA, which is the Grimmons mini-series, though I haven't actually watched it myself yet. They're all on youtube.

My all-time favorite RvB fan edit - doesn't actually have any clips post-anthology, but I think the end is a great time to watch it.

If none of this makes sense, or you just have any questions at all - I am More than happy to help answer your queries. I hope this helps :) Also if any of the links are broken please let me know.

[purplerose244]

Headcanons for a Camp Camp season post-David adopting Max

(Because I got back to Camp Camp for no reason at all and it is now everyone's problem. Also apparently new episode incoming? YOOO)

WARNING THERE ARE SWEARS IN THIS BUT I MEAN IT'S CAMP CAMP SO YOU KNOW 😅

Here we go!

No one knows at first

First episode starts with something random (Idk maybe something about change that makes everyone freaking out, you know how CC goes) and the entire time there are hints, like Max arriving at Camp with David and David always being in the proximity of Max. Towards the end Max makes a half-assed comment about it

Neil: Well, I guess some things never change

Neil: This place is still pretty fucked up

Max: Yeah, this is weirder than David adopting me at the end of last summer

(pause)

Everyone: WAIT WHAT?!

Casual episodes have background scenes where David puts a hand in front of Max whenever he wants to do something dangerous, or he picks him up

Max is now enrolled in Camp Campbell for Music Camp. He is never seen actually practicing during afternoon activities, he kinda just stands on his boot, but when no one is watching, especially at night, he does play a bit. He plays a guitar that was the first birthday present he got from David

He's genuinely good, he just thinks that the others will make fun of him for specifically playing guitar and ask him what campfire songs did David teach him

He's right and the answer is ALL OF THEM

Max is back to the plan of making David snap, but the idea evolved from "no way a person can be this happy" to "no way a parent can be this happy". That's totally NOT projection of his own trauma and he DOES NOT expect David to abandon him the moment it becomes too much (wink)

THE AMOUNT OF DAD JOKES ISTG. Max is 100% sure he'll go crazy out of tree puns alone. David is fully convinced that's peak dad behavior and non-negotiable

David: I'd love to take you on a vacation to trees' favourite city!

Max: David no.

David: Montreeal!

Max: DAVID NO.

David: Why so tense, Max? Are you okay?

Max: STOP RIGHT NOW.

David: Should I... leaf you alone?

Max: *groans forever*

A full episode where David is terrified of making preferences for his son and struggles between being a counselor and a father, fearing that the others might feel left out. Ultimately it is pointed out by everyone that Max was always his favourite, therefore he was a shit about it from the beginning and no one really cares (David feels relieved and quite conflicted about this)

Whenever the campers need permission to do something dangerous and there is REALLY no other option, Max sighs and does his best "please I really wanna do this, you are my guardian right?" act. It's embarassing how quickly David caves in

An episode about being a young single father, maybe David going on a date (I'm thinking the cute waitress from the Bonquisha episode and/or the bartender guy from the town episode, just to make some comebacks), having tons in common and getting along, but not wanting to commit with someone with a son. David feels pretty lonely, but he 100% can only be with someone that accepts Max as well (also pan David my beloved 🩷💛💙)

Max discovers David's tipping point when the kid gets seriously hurt because of a stupidly dangerous adventure. Max gets scolded like he didn't think David was able to. It follows a pretty tense period where Max thinks this is it, but David is just very embarassed for snapping like that and while he thinks Max can survive more than he can, he needs him to be safe. After talking they get much closer

David has no idea how to ground someone, especially his son. Usually, when he feels like he has to, he consults Gwen or, heaven forbid, Quartermaster

An episode where the ideal camper arrives. Loves outdoors, loves activities, loves singing along and saluting the flag, so David gets excited. The entire time the campers try to figure out if Max is jealous, but he shows no sign. Obviously the camper is someone evil because this is Camp Camp, and at the end Max stomps the person with a "sorry sweetheart, I'm his favourite"

Max doesn't call him dad, David knows this and never presses him. But the kid slips sometimes and corrects himself quickly, although David never seems to notice

He actually does notice and every night he proceeds to giggle into his log pillow like a high schooler with a crush

An episode where the campers try to figure out how the whole adoption situation happened, since neither Max nor David really explained it. The hypothetical story becomes increasingly crazier and more complex, between alien invations, warlocks and internal monologues. At the end a flashback is shown of Max waiting at camp. Gwen is in the cabin, then David arrives with his cheek red and bloody

David: It took some convincing

Gwen: Oh, David...

David: I'm alright. I knew who I was dealing with, and apparently they're this aggressive only to strangers. It could've been a lot worse, and they said yes anyway

Gwen: So... now what?

David: Now? Now I'm bringing him home

David had everything ready for adoption way before meeting Max, stating that as a counselor you never know what might happen. He thinks it's commendable. Max thinks it's fucking creepy

After The Forest episode David developed a bit of feral instincts, but never really showed them. Since Max can usually defend himself better than David does, there is no need to intervene. Until Daniel comes back, and makes the mistake of kidnapping Max this time, wanting to play with David on how to find his kid. He did not know. David turns into wolf dad, literally growling and hunting for his cub. Imagine a feral David roaring and growling "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY KID DANIEL??". Suffice to say, Daniel is sent to the hospital (praying the ultra lord) and Max starts to think, between Daniel and David, maybe it's his dad the psychotic one

He doesn't mind it that much

Possible outcome is Daniel being astonished by such energy, realizing that David just won't die, and feeling something strong for him, starting to ponder if David is an reincarnation of Xemug... he is giving himself an excuse, he basically just got a crush on David. If that would turn him madder or start his redemption arc, I have no idea, but I kinda like it 😂 (actually I might make a separate post about this, I got an idea for another season sequel to this one and yes, pretty Dadvid 💕💕)

Post this incident that ruined it, Mr. Honeynuts now wears a little Camp Campbell counselor uniform. David made it of course, and while Max voices his contempt, the bear was getting rough to hug and the shirt is soft

Idea gag of Max saying "did you know that *insert disturbing emotional abuse practice* isn't okay? Learned that last year"

They got blackmail material on each other. Max obviously uses it the most, between embarassing underpants and sleep talking, but in extreme cases David is not above pulling out his cute Max photo collection

Yes, he got several of those

Yes, he is waiting for someone to ask about it and show them like the proud parent he is

After David adopted Max, he started to work two jobs to make ends meet (I'm thinking teacher and maybe night guard, very standard). He's actually pretty good at both, but it makes him very exhausted. He once snapped at Max out of exhaustion and since then, he decided to rest whenever he feels tired (you know, like a normal person). Max jokes that he was supposed to make his life a nightmare, not help him develop a better and healthier lifestyle

They got a method for asking permission, "bullshit for fun": David allows him some usually unallowed stuff and he gets to have some cute father-son moments in exchange

Max: Okay, it's a huge concert, so I'm willing to go as far as a full week of tucking in bed

David: I'm not letting you go out of town all on your own that easily, young man! The week of that, and three days of hand holding when we get into a crowd!

Max: Mmm... one hand holding and... urgh... one day of camping together

David: WAIT, REALLY?!

Max: It's a really good concert

David: DEAL!!!!

During a particolarly bad night of Max having nightmares, David spends the night comforting him. Max jokes that perhaps David can get even a hug out of this. David states that their system is a fun thing between them for treating responsibilities and boundaries in a less serious way, but if Max needs comfort, that's always free

An episode in which Max hears David talk to Gwen, saying stuff like "I don't have enough money for him. I don't think I can make it. I'm so sorry, poor Max". He then starts the most effective escape from Camp Campbell plan he has ever put in motion, genuinely making it except he comes back because he misses everything. He screams at David for making him love him only to dump him. At last David understands the situation and hugs him, revealing that... he was talking about a dog he wanted to adopt for Max. Max will never live that down, and David is in absolute glee for the following days because his son loves him

Sometimes Max says "Language!" without realizing. It's horrifying for all people involved, even David

On the other hand, David starts to swear more. The thing is, he's used to Max and it's such a foreign thing to him that sometimes he doesn't realize it was him

David: Hold on, now where the fuck is everyone?

David: Language!

David: ... wait-

Idea crossover headcanon, David's last name is Corduroy, his dad is a cousin of the Corduroys of Gravity Falls. But as a matter of fact, David never calls his father dad, going for either sir or sergeant

I have the idea of introducing this father in an episode flashback from before the adoption. David's father, sergeant Jeffrey Corduroy, comes to the camp to "visit his son and reconnect after such a long time". The man is huge and affable, friendly like David, but David turns into a Max version of himself when he's around. After everyone states that he seems cool, David gets pissed even more and basically ditch camp activities the whole day

Max gets a moment alone with the sergent and presses a little more, thrown off by meeting the first person David seems to openly hate. As Max is being Max, Jeff loses it pretty quickly, revealing the kindness is a mask. As he is on his way to hit Max, David puts himself in between. He scolds his father, mad like never before, stating that one apology won't make up for ten years of hell. Jeff leaves, David is so tired his legs won't hold, Max helps him get back to the cabin and they stay there

When the two are alone eventually, David tells him his story: he actually learned about survival from his dad first, he got trained mercilessly to the point of spitting blood, for ten long years. At some point his parents decided to divorce, and he was sent to Camp Campbell to not be in the way. He felt happy there for the first time, but he spiralled after leaving, as his dad left and his mother was depressed. She sent him to France at the clown school, again to not be in the way, and when he was old enough he simply left his house to find his own way to be happy. The only place where that was, was Camp Campbell

David apologizes for making his first story about camp too cheerful, as he should have been sincere. Max comes to two conclusions that night: that they are way more similar than he expected (something he didn't believe when he first heard the camp story from David), and that... maybe David is kind to everyone because he used all the hate he has on that asshole

Possible last episode of the season is another Parent Day. Everyone is teasing Max over the fact that every day is Parent Day for him, and Max complains but passively shows how he can't wait for it. Obviously David is way too gleeful about it. Then David disappears and no one knows where he is, and Max gets in the worse mood possible, making it everyone's problem. Everyone is actually kinda supportive and that turns him from angry to simply sad, although Gwen states that whatever happened to David, he promised to be there therefore he will be

At the exhibition part, when it's Max' turn, David arrives just in time, running in full survival attire like in The Forest. Basically David had another canoe incident, and was hunted down by two more wolves. It turns out that they're the pups of the wolfie he befriended before, they were hunted by men and that's why they were very aggressive towards him at first. Another adventure ensued, with the pups learning how to survive nature

Of course this is not explained to the people (just like The Forest), David apologizes for the late, Max says "fuck you dad" and hugs him in front of everyone

Follows the most mundane celebration between parents, with David (after taking off the survival look) looking a bit goofy and uncomfortable with so many adults while being a young man, but he does his best. Finally a moment of tranquility for the campers, as they watch their parents

Neil: You know Max, maybe you had to learn to appreciate the hell that is Camp Campbell, to meet a parent that truly cared for you. Maybe it was all a learning experience, and this is your reward

Max: ...

Neil: ...

Max: Well, this place sucks, and my dad is a fucking idiot. Definitely not worth it

(Max scoffs, then he smiles at David waving at him. The other campers hold back laughter, clearly not believing him)

It's implied that from then on Max starts calling David dad full time

[pinkberrytea]

✨Writing Interview Tag Game✨

Eeee tysm for the tag @nyx-knox and @honeybee-bard! 🥹🙌❣️

When did you start writing?

I used to write fanfiction when I was 13 years old, but as an adult, this is actually my first time dabbling in creative writing! I released my first work back in April, crazy to think it’s been barely four months since I started!

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Horror and mystery are actually my favorite genres, though I'm not sure I'd be able to pull either off? I should give it a go one day, maybe!

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

To be honest any comparisons at all would make me plenty happy since I barely consider myself a writer 😅 There are some people in the fandom who are endless sources of inspiration for me though, all authors in my recs list and ao3 bookmarks, for starters.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

No BG3 merch sadly, yet!

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Just daydreaming honestly. Also listening to music helps plenty! Researching lore and brainstorming ideas with friends too. But mostly just daydreaming!

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Hurt and comfort, and also angst. Lots of it, for some reason. It does surprise me how angsty all my writing ends up coming across, but I try to balance it out with some melodramatic fluff, I guess? I do want to try my hand at some less serious/more lighthearted themes eventually though, branch out a little!

What is your reason for writing?

Coping, mostly. Also as a sort of therapy, to sort out my feelings about themes that are important to me and that I’ve been processing through media. And no less relevant, simply as a self-indulgent outlet! I write what I myself would like to read.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Every single comment is incredibly motivating for me, but of course, I do twirl my hair and kick my feet whenever someone tells me about which passages they liked the best and how they specifically felt about a certain scene. Also, whenever people pick up on a detail I was sure would go by unnoticed!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I want my readers to think of me as a friend, as someone who is always accessible and up for talking about writing, be it mine or just in general!

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Oh, this is a toughie. I have a very flowery and verbose style, though I’m not sure that’s a strength? I guess it could be, depending on your preferences. It’s a bit of a double-edged sword, really.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I don’t think highly of it from a technical standpoint, but I do pour my heart and soul into every single piece, and that makes them all special to me.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I can sincerely say I write mostly for myself, otherwise I wouldn’t even be able to write anything at all because I don’t think I could live up to anyone’s expectations. Though of course, the feedback I receive on a piece may in fact influence whether I feel inspired to expand on it or just move on to something new. Even if I’m typically my own main target audience, comments are always greatly appreciated!

No pressure tags ✨ @locallegume, @judasiskariot, @inkymoonbunny, @starryjuicebox and @kalmiaphlox!

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Why hello! I don’t see why we can’t keep the Top 5 trend alive in the new year so…

From one chronic rewatcher to another, what are your top 5 most rewatched scenes?

Sorry this took so long, @wen-kexing-apologist! I'm just now getting back to posting a bit more regularly after the holidays got me totally off track, and this question brought up a lot of Thoughts so I've been chipping away at it for weeks.

So, um, this is the best question ever. Except it’s the meanest question ever, because I'm terrible at choosing between things like this.

I am a massive rewatcher, whether you’re talking about whole series, episodes, or scenes. Scenes especially. Why watch an entire thing when you can go right for the best part/s and watch them over and over? This is also one of the reasons I have way too many gifs saved on my phone.

I thought about coming up with a list that was based more on what would make a good post, and/or what would make me look less uncool, than what I actually rewatch the most. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted to be honest instead. So at the risk of seeming even more like an Utsukare obsessive and overall one-trick pony, I'm going to talk about the five scenes I think I've actually rewatched the most, even though four of them are from my perennial obsession.

The four Utsukushii Kare scenes are in the order they occur in the series, not from most rewatched to least. Then I'll talk about a fifth scene from another series that I've been pretty vocal about appreciating, and I'll mention some runners-up.

“who do you like, him or me?”

If gif posts are any indication—gifs are the smallest increment of rewatching, after all—some of my favorite scenes to rewatch aren’t that popular with other rewatchers. This one gets gif’ed, sure, as you can see. But it's not as popular a choice for this kind of treatment as a lot of other Utsukare scenes.

There are a few reasons this one is a favorite of mine. One is that I tend to like some jealousy in my romance. I have my theories about why it’s so appealing to me specifically, but I’m not entirely sure how to explain it. I also love a good aggressive shirt-grab. (Utsukare certainly delivers these regularly.) But the main reason I keep coming back to this moment is that in just a few sentences, a bunch of character development happens. Well, I guess it would be more correct to call it character revelation. This is the first time we really see this side of Kiyoi, and in that respect, it foreshadows the big perspective shift that’s just around the corner. The viewer picks up a lot of hints that Kiyoi has feelings for Hira prior to this point (even if Hira remains stubbornly oblivious to them). We’ve even seen Kiyoi kiss Hira already (even if he did push him to the ground a split second later). But this is the first time we see such direct evidence of the strength of his feelings for Hira. Kiyoi is so unguarded for this brief moment. The mask slips and what’s underneath is total desperation.

Hira, of course, misses the real meaning of what Kiyoi is saying despite how obvious it is. Which means it's also the viewers’ first indication of how intensely Hira clings to his favored view of reality in the face of evidence to the contrary.

"sorry I like you"

This is another scene where so much is happening in a short span, all because Kiyoi got desperate enough to talk about all of the unspoken bullshit between him and Hira. As usual, Hira doesn’t get it. But he might be starting to. 

This scene is pretty rough watching in some ways. When this episode first aired and it ended with this scene followed by each of them on their own and feeling terrible, I was a bit of a mess. It was silly of me to worry. There were plenty of favorable signs in the preview for the finale. I knew the novels had a happy ending. But it was just so sad and so real that it got to me anyway. But I also enjoyed it, because for an obsessive analyzer like myself, seeing these important relationship dynamics finally come to the surface in such concentrated form was fascinating. It was also a relief to see things out in the open.

Both leads turn in such great performances here. Yagi Yusei really steps up. It’s even more impressive given his relative lack of acting experience. His performance is so raw and affecting. If he had been less vulnerable, Kiyoi’s point about how contradictory Hira’s actions and statements are could seem like a kind of “gotcha” moment designed to win an argument--like he was pointing out that Hira was hypocritical in a bid to score points. Instead, Yagi shows viewers how deeply being caught in this double bind with Hira has hurt Kiyoi. 

Hagiwara Riku, in contrast, portrays Hira as so confused that he’s basically dissociated. Hira has a really strong tendency to see the world in whatever way suits him, regardless of the truth. Kiyoi’s words force Hira to set his usual narrative aside and see how much clinging to it is hurting the person he claims to love, and it throws him off to such an extent that he seems to be experiencing a form of psychomotor slowing. He looks like he’s moving through molasses. He can’t form sentences, or at times, even words. His normally expressive eyes seem like they’ve shrunk to half their normal size. He’s really come unmoored, and it shows. The more I think about Hagiwara’s work in this scene the more impressed I am by the insight and physical control he had to bring to bear in order for it to work. 

Of course, if I watched this scene on its own habitually, this level of blorbo distress might take a toll on my mental health. Which is why I usually follow it up with…

"I'm not going to kiss you for a while"

I’m busting out the bullet points for this one because otherwise it might take me all day.

This scene works on so many levels!

Well, the main ones are:

Relationship progress! Character growth! 

The whole kiss fakeout thing is hot

Hira gets some payback and frankly, he deserves it

The other highlights for me are: 

Even after repeated viewings and knowing very well what happened in the story, I still feel kind of relieved to see that Kiyoi came back, especially right after rewatching the scene prior to this one. 

When Kiyoi asks Hira why he thinks he came home and he says, “to punch me?" he does it in the most weirdly cute way.

Kiyoi’s absolutely lethal snotty face/voice when he responds to the possibility of punching Hira with “maybe” is so perfect that it's hard not to think that Hira might have a point about this whole King deal. 

Hira apologizes and it’s actually sincere and not just some knee-jerk bullshit. 

The way Hira closes his eyes and waits for Kiyoi to smack him is a rare case of him actually letting go and putting himself in Kiyoi’s hands instead of his usual topping-from-the-bottom thing.

More about the kiss fakeout:

Hagiwara does a great job of telegraphing Hira’s expectant response. In scenes where two characters are going to kiss but get interrupted, it's not uncommon to see a kind of hesitation or other subtle signal that the actor knows the kiss isn't going to happen. But there's none of that here. Hagiwara even does this sort of gulp/swallow thing like he thinks the kiss is going to start any moment. When the kiss doesn't materialize, he nails an absolutely pitifiul sad puppy expression.

Kiyoi’s vulnerable voice and facial expression when he explains about the kissing boundary thing is so sincere and cute. Could he be any more different from season 1 episode 1 Kiyoi?

I’ve written about how the no-kissing-until-Hira-takes-Kiyoi-seriously policy might seem like a controlling move or an inappropriate ultimatum to some viewers but it actually better resembles what Harriet Lerner calls a “bottom line,” resulting in a boundary that is not only justifiable but downright healthy…or almost healthy, at least. It's a bit on the extreme side, and the fakeout part remains a little mean. But they're understandable given what Hira has put Kiyoi through. 

Here's my s2e4 writeup that includes that discussion:

“sorry, Kiyoi”

So, I’ve already written quite a bit about this scene. In one instance, I wrote a propaganda blurb when it was in bl brackets’s kiss bracket.

Here's the original blurb I wrote for @bl-bracket when I nominated the scene, as used in the post where people voted:

Hira and Kiyoi Final Kiss: "It’s an important plot point (because Kiyoi has said he won’t kiss Hira until he stops putting him on a pedestal and now Hira is making progress on that front, and because Hira hasn’t initiated physical stuff in the past, and initiating is itself a way of treating Kiyoi more like an equal). It’s also just a really well-acted and effectively shot kiss, and as a result it communicates so much about the characters and shows a side of their relationship not portrayed elsewhere in the show. And of course, it’s super hot. That includes the kind of weird but suggestive details that are typical of the show, like Hira passing candy/candy spit to Kiyoi through the kiss and then switching into this really distinct sexy voice that makes it sound almost as if he’s changing personalities."

And here's an additional, longer propaganda post I wrote to lobby for votes:

One of the points I tried to make in that post about why this scene is special was that it really does represent a leap forward in how both leads portrayed intimacy in this series. Prior to this scene, viewers had seen a dead fish kiss on graduation day, a more intense makeout situation in the season 1 finale that was shot so impressionistically that it was often hard to tell exactly what the actors were doing, and some interrupted kisses earlier in season 2. And then this happened. Here's a quote from what I wrote previously:

Personally, despite being a fan of both actors and thinking they did amazing work on the series, until I saw this scene I really didn't know if they had it in them, if they could actually pull off something that felt real. But they brought it. They're not holding back. As opposed to more stylized kisses you see in BLs and other romance dramas sometimes, I found it very naturalistic, like the way a couple of real kids in their early 20s would kiss.

So, yeah. I thought it showed real growth on the part of the actors as individuals and as a pairing/team.

This scene also caused me to dig deeper, with the help of some very knowledgeable mutuals, into what “persistent” and “cute” mean in a sexual context in Japan. My main post about that is below.

Noticing Hagiwara's use of Hira's "persistent voice" also helped me to notice something else when I checked out his other work, and that is that he often uses his voice in very different ways in different roles. I recently watched a drama he did before Utsukare and I was struck by this all over again. Again, it shows a really impressive degree of control.

And now, for our one non-Utsukare scene in the top 5:

"I'm trying to seduce you"

I also wrote a nomination blurb about this scene for the kiss bracket. (If you're seeing a pattern here, well, yeah, it's a pattern.) The original voting post here but I'll go ahead and quote it in its entirety since it's pretty short.

This kiss is ridiculously hot and is a culmination of so much that’s been simmering beneath the surface for the entire show up to that point. Togawa has been pining so hard for Nozue for so long that when Nozue gives him a glimmer of hope and then tries to leave, everything he’s been bottling up comes surging out. Kimura Tatsunari exudes a level of desperate lustfulness in this scene that’s as intense as anything I’ve seen in any genre. We’re all familiar with the idea that people look at a person’s mouth when they want to kiss them, but Togawa looks at Nozue’s mouth like he dreams about it every night and sees it every time he closes his eyes. No wonder he feels a need to stick his thumb in there. Takeda Kouhei also communicates so much in this scene. Nozue is shocked and confused but he can’t help but respond to Togawa’s kisses. You can see the gears turning—and refusing to turn—as he tries to make sense of what’s happening—and keeps kissing Togawa back even though he still can’t process it. Togawa’s declaration, “I’ve been trying to seduce you, with everything I have,” is the cherry on top.

There's another bit of subtle physical communication here that I find interesting, and I think you might too, @wen-kexing-apologist. Just recently I've been thinking about the meaning, in kissing scenes, of what for lack of a better term I'll call the head-bonk. By this I mean the thing where one person puts their forehead against the other person's, often with at least a tiny bit of an impact that renders it a bonk rather than, like, just touching them together. Togawa kisses Nozue once, then a second time, and then goes in for a third that Nozue avoids by sinking toward the floor. The third kiss doesn't happen, but when Togawa starts to initiate it he does an absolutely sublime head-bonk. I'm still figuring out what I think about the head-bonk thing. All I know is that, from my vantage point, that little move on Kimura's part practically screams "I've been holding this back for five goddamn years and I can't wait one more second to kiss this person."

Runners-up and honorable mentions:

Semantic Error:

Their first kiss in the restaurant after Jae Young calls Sang Woo "hyung" - I have watched this so much that if I had been asked for my top 6 this would have been #6.

Jae Young demonstrating the features of the "free trial"

Minato’s Laundromat (season 1, of course):

Shin freaking out about Minato being alone with Hanabusa

The washing machine kabedon

The “smelling the sheets” scene

Kiseki (I just watched this for the first time a week or so ago and I have already done so much scene-rewatching it's ridiculous):

That incredibly angsty sex scene with Ai Di and a drunk Chen Yi, you know the one

Chen Yi's confession to a physically restrained Ai Di

The scene at Ai Di's bar where Chen Yi puts him in a double kabedon

Ai Di and Chen Yi's conversation after Ai Di gets out of prison, where he says he fucked Chen Yi "just for fun" and offers to let him do stuff to him as "revenge"

Ai Di trying to scare Chen Yi by stroking his chest and asking him if he wants to "play" and then getting weirded out when Chen Yi asks, "What if I say yes?"

Jheruei and Zongyi's first real kiss and subsequent A+ lap-sitting moment

And as a bonus, here's my most-rewatched non-QL moment:

There's a scene I'm obsessed with in Something in the Rain where Jun Hui comes to Jin A's home and sees her ex-boyfriend there with her and her parents, lobbying to get back together and manhandling her, and he reacts exactly the way you'd expect as someone to who's in love with Jin A. It is tattooed on my brain. If I ever learn to make gifs I am gif'ing the fuck out of that scene.

[wayward-rosalind]

Sorry more dragon age stuff this time specifically why Bellara did something with my brain chemistry.

Okay so like, I've been a dragon age lover for about 12 years and honestly? Bellara might be my favorite Bioware character just for how the game portrays her ADHD.

It's both like, obviously in the way she talks quickly and subtle for doing stuff like pointing things out in her quests. The other characters treat her like an adult too. The most we get is Neve very politely telling her that being a detective requires a lot of focus and it's done with imo a lot of respect. (Which also it's good because girl just wants to pick up everything cool she sees and I just now realized that I was typing that out. Damn you Elper you're good.)

But the thing that got me the most? Her romance. Yeah this game is just like ME1 with them. Yeah I wish I got more. However what I got from her romance was extremely impactful for one reason. In a Taash travel banter she tells them that she's had relationships fail because of the way her focus works. She specifically blames it leading to her break up with Irelin. She says to Taash that people would always like her for what she could be, but not how she actually is, and that actually stuck with me. (Which btw that's probably one of my favorite chains of party banter because they're both so supportive of one another just 🥲)

But in the romance scene right after the eclipse, you'll chat with her and she'll specifically bring up that your rook loves her for who she is right then and there. Just the words used feesl very sweet. It puts into perspective all the times I picked the heart option and me going "wow I'm just being nice to her". You are but more importantly you're affirming to her that she's perfect just the way she is.

As an extra sidenote: Bellara's whole story's themes are about acceptance of who you are and moving forward. I feel like the choice of keeping or releasing the archive is reflective on that. There's not really a *wrong* answer, you either accept that the past is painful and dangerous but worth learning (while giving her an outfit reflective of what the ancient elves wear) or that it's better to figure out your own path through life, even if it means always having questions, to free yourself from the path a tyrant chose for you. (Giving her an outfit that's a lot more unique.)

Tbh it still stuns me that this is Elper's first character to write. I think he did fantastic at conveying her character. I know he used a lot of his own experiences to color her and honestly, I'm happy he did. It shows.

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Okay, so this is kind of specific and I'm not sure I really headcanon Frankie as that but for the kisses thing:

everyone's probably seen at least one video of some soldier surprising a partner with coming home (whichever way that goes, it's so interesting that most of the time people seem to back away and/or cover their face/eyes first, social studies human nature something something, but anyway...)

so Frankie didn't get that (for whatever reasons, like I said, I dunno if it really fits him but yknow, the plot bunny don't care) but he always kind of wished he had, and at some point into his first good, healthy relationship after quitting the military he does end up admitting so to his partner (maybe when they talked about what they'd been missing in previous relationships or whatever?).

obviously when he returns from the TF adventure *snort* this doesn't apply but picture another time when Frankie comes back from something - visiting his parents, another much less dangerous/stupid trip with the boys, whatever - and partner picks him up at the airport (could be the other way around too, partner has a trip for whatever reason and Frankie's the one picking them up). Cue full on running, jumping, happy smooches, all that good stuff (that will probably break Frankie's back but who cares lol).

Dunno which number that qualifies for but yknow, here you go :D

Well, you do have a specific situation for this, haha! I don't know which number this would fit either (and I already deleted the post with the question because I do that). But LUCKY FOR YOU I rewatched Practical Magic the other day, and even though I'm not into romance, the scene where Sandra Bullock's character runs to kiss her future husband kinda got to me, so now I have Faith Hill's This Kiss stuck in my head. And that inspired me to this piece, which is basically exactly what you wanted, so I don't really see how it's my piece, it's actually yours.

Frankie x you (no descriptors)

No warnings, just kissing <3

409 words

The arrivals board tells you that his flight has landed on time, fifteen minutes ago. You shift your weight from one leg to the other, your fingers tapping against your thumbs in anticipation. He only has a carry-on so he should be coming directly to the arrivals hall, no baggage claim in between.

The door into arrivals opens, letting people through, but he’s still not there. You exhale and annoyance while simultaneously having to smile at yourself. This isn’t like you, being this worked up about being away from a man for a week isn’t your style. You usually relish being on your own – and you have, but you’re still waiting like crazy for him to be back in your arms.

Frankie. He’s just that different. You might still be in the honeymoon phase, but goddammit, he’s different than anyone else you’ve ever dated. He’s just as crazy about you as you are about him, and you believe him when he says so.

You lick your lips, eyes fixed on the door, searching every face that comes through it.

And finally, there he is, his old army duffel bag slung over his shoulder, baseball cap on his head, eyes scanning the crowd like it’s a hostile territory until he sees you and his face lights up.

Frankie.

He steers towards you with brisk steps, but you’re not waiting for him to reach you: you’re running to him, flinging yourself into his arms, nearly jumping if it wasn’t for his back. Frankie hugs you tightly and lifts you off the ground, spinning you around before setting you down and then his lips is on yours and it’s like he was never away to see his parents, the way his lips fit yours. Your arms are slung tightly around his neck, his hat falls to the floor, time passes by, people arrive and leave, and nothing else matters but kissing Frankie, smelling him, having his strong arms around your waist. Finally, he brushes his lips over yours, drawing a deep breath and sighing it out, happily.

”Hi,” he whispers.

”Hi,” you smile, ”I love you.”

”I love you.”

His arm around your shoulders, your arm around his waist, you go to the car, Frankie’s hat forgotten for someone else to pick up.

It's the way you love me

It's a feeling like this

It's centrifugal motion

It's perpetual bliss

It's that pivotal moment

It's, ah, impossible

This kiss, this kiss (unstoppable)

[danganronpadedication]

DAY 16: DANGANTOBER

Day 16: Favorite Scene

There are so many scenes that I could call my favorite of the series. I like scenes that are silly and lighthearted, and some that are bone-chilling. There were scenes that I was delighted by, and scenes that left me with a sinking pit of dread in my stomach. The scene that I decided to go with is one that caught me off-guard on first viewing. When it played out on my screen late one Wednesday night, it EMBEDDED itself in my memory, and crosses my mind at least once a week. Yep, the GIF is a dead giveaway, it's a scene that I call "Makoto's Despair".

Original Uploader: Nagito Komeada on YouTube (yes, it's spelled that way in their user)

When I say my jaw dropped during this scene, I meant it. I'm someone who really appreciates when things get more disturbing in this way, even if the scene itself involves subject matter that scares me. It shows guts, and its a good way to make me feel the stakes and tension that is needed to become invested. Readers of my posts will know exactly the reason this scene freaks me out, and if you're unfamiliar, I have my makeup post for yesterday coming out very soon and it will talked about on there. Some background information and summary on the scene for those of you who didn't watch the anime, or are too chicken to watch the scene. This scene takes place in Episode 11 'All Good Things' of Future Arc. After Kyoko's death in episode 10 'Death, Destruction, and Despair', Aoi finds a journal underneath her body. Written in the journal is Kyoko's deduction and conclusion on who the traitor in the Future Foundation killing game is. She hypothesized that there was no traitor, and that the monitors placed throughout the hallways of the facility were somehow brainwashing whoever was closest to them between rounds to commit unalive. To test her theory, Makoto decides to use himself as the subject for the experiment. He is tied to a chair in front of a monitor, while everyone else goes into a room without monitors. The round ends, and everyone is put to sleep. Makoto is woken up shortly afterwards by the red glow of the monitor. The monitor begins to play a video of Monokuma, and begins the brainwashing sequence. Makoto finds himself in a strange, void-like place. Kyoko and Sayaka appear, taunting him with reminders of the Hope's Peak killing game. Sayaka reminds him that he was unable to get her out like he promised, and Kyoko blames him for her death. His other deceased classmates also appear, and their bodies start to change to resemble how they looked when they died. Makoto tries to apologize, saying he just wanted everyone to be together and happy.

Outside of this void, which is assumedly his mind, Makoto is screaming and struggling to get off the chair. He gets himself free, and a knife drops from the monitor. He picks it up, and in his mind, Kyoko and Sayaka tell him to join them. Makoto has a strained grin on his face, and opens his eyes, now swirling with red spirals. He says he'll join them, but he's stopped by Juzo Sakakura. Juzo uses some 'not so gentle' means to get Makoto to snap out of it. Makoto then returns to the others with confirmation for Kyoko's theory.

This scene is one that provides good insight into who Makoto is as a person. In my Day 3 post for Dangantober, I briefly talked about Makoto having survivor's guilt, and this scene is my basis for that claim. It's very on the nose about it. Survivor's guilt is a trauma response that can happen when someone feels guilty over surviving an event where others died. It can cause similar symptoms to PTSD and other traumatic disorders. It's the idea of "why was I the one to live, and not these other people?", which is obviously an unhealthy mindset.

Makoto hides it well, but he does display certain symptoms of survivor's guilt. In episode 6, 'No Man Is An Island', Makoto has a vivid nightmare of Kyoko's death, with Munakata blaming Makoto for her death. Specifically, saying that Makoto was at fault for thinking he would be able to go through the entirety of this game without sacrificing someone close to him. Intense and vivid nightmares that harken back to whatever traumatic event happened or is currently happening, is one of the main symptoms of survivor's guilt.

Aside from serving as excellent foreshadowing for episode 10, this nightmare is a sign that the active stress from being in this new killing game is getting to him. His survivor's guilt would worsen as a result of Kyoko's real death, since the circumstances would lead him to believe it was his fault for just surviving.

See, the Future Foundation killing game has a special twist to it. Everyone has a bracelet on their wrist, that has a "Forbidden Action" on it. Doing this action will result in your death via the release of a certain poison. For example, Makoto's forbidden action is running in the halls, so Aoi gives him a piggyback ride. Kyoko's forbidden action is "Passing the 4th time limit with Makoto Naegi alive". If he lives past the fourth round, which he did, she would die. She deliberately hides this from him, not wanting him to worry.

Now that she's dead, he learns about her forbidden action, and he nearly shuts down with grief. Yet another person he cares about, gone instead of him. From this point onwards, he spends a lot of his time doing more reckless actions in order to stop this game, from confronting Munakata (who wants Makoto dead or captured) to this very incident with the video.

The guilt is pushing him to move without regard for himself, which is very close to more self-destructive symptoms of survivor's guilt. That's also why Kyoko plays such a big part in this scene. It's fresh trauma, fresh pain, that only serves to amplify these feelings within him.

Of course, Makoto manages to recover and pick himself back up with help from the people around him, like Aoi, and Munakata after a change of heart. He's a strong person, he's resilient, and he is the Ultimate Hope for a reason. There is no easy wrap-up for dealing with survivor's guilt. He's always going to be dealing with these feelings, but hopefully, as the world heals, so will he.

Besides, it definitely helps that Kyoko actually survives.

-Mod Tsumugi

[bonefall]

Gray Wing's got me thinking for the longest time: how are pronouns, specifically neopronouns, translated and spoken in Clanmew? Do Clan cats, when invoking/talking about xem, use xeir pronouns correctly or default to he/him or something more "normal"?

On a more general matter, how common is it for modern Clan cats to use neopronouns? Do you think it's something they picked up from a kittypet in Chelford and they were like "whaaaat lmao that's kinda neat" lol bc I kinda like that idea. Sorry I'm rambling I'm just really really happy abt the neopronoun rep :'3

Oh Clanmew doesn't have gendered pronouns at all! There are eight pronouns, entirely based on threat level. There aren't any neopronouns in Clanmew because the use of these pronouns is constantly reaffirming the relationship between two cats, or signalling some sort of meaningful shift based on context.

Format: THEY/YOU/INCLUSIVE WE/EXCLUSIVE WE

Wi/Wees/Weep/Wik (Babies, prey, things that pose absolutely no threat to you)

Nya/Nyams/Nyap/Nyamsk (Family; Things you do not harm by choice.)

Pyrr/Pyrrs/Pyrrp/Pyrrsk (Honorably less dangerous; a Cleric, an exhausted warrior, helpful objects)

Urr/Urrs/Urrp/Urrsk (Equal footing of a Clanmate, things on your level. Briarlight refers to her mobility device with this pronoun as an extension of herself. ONLY USED FOR THE SAME CLAN.)

Ar/Ars/Arp/Arsk (Cat who is above you in the same Clan; person who outranks you significantly. Your mentor while you're training, the deputy, your own leader. Has a sarcastic air of "your highness" when used on those of similar rank.)

Rarr/Rarrs/Rarrp/Rarrsk (Honorable outsider; Clan cats of other Clans. Used to correct overfriendliness, friends of other Clans will sometimes find excuses to use other pronouns, though it can be frowned upon. Used for mildly dangerous prey like some ducks and gray squirrels. NEVER used on Clanmates without insult.)

Mwrr/Mwrrs/Mwrrp/Mwrrsk (Rogues, very dangerous animals. Actively aggressive and acts without honor; a MASSIVE insult used on any Clan cat.)

Ssar/Ssars/Ssarp/Ssarsk (NATURAL DISASTERS AND STARCLAN. Unpredictable, dangerous, unstoppable. For the leaders of other Clans or used as a very high compliment to another Clan's deputy or high-ranking warrior, but if overused could be seen as cowardly.)

So to use a neopronoun in Clanmew would be seen as very 'evasive' at best and rude at worst. You'd be bypassing a big part of their language and culture by not making your relationship and feelings towards that person clear to your conversation partner. It's very different from English where pronouns are just about gender!

"pi woomoerpbum Hrra'aborrl nyanomna" Heathertail: Breezepelt my beloved is eating a tunnelbun.

"pi woomoerpbum Hrra'aborrl rarrnomna" Heathertail: THAT BASTARD BREEZEPELT IS EATING A TUNNELBUN

There are three accepted genders in Clan Culture, Molly, Tom, and Gib. Gibs I refer to with xe/canon pronouns; canon just when it's less confusing. Blackstar for example is actually a gib in BB, so he's He/They/Xey.

(Queer cats still exist though, Dustpelt is an example of a GNC cat, Twigbranch is agender, Finleap is multigender, but Clan cats have a trinary gender system)

When the character has no canon gender though it's instant Gib and they're They/xe. Billowcloud is an example of that.

Gray Wing gets Xe pretty exclusively in my writing though for a few reasons, 1. Xe is the "archetype" of the roles associated with being a Gib and I want to emphasize this as the Patron of Wisdom, 2. The singular nonbinary pronoun is super super helpful with the fact Gray Wing has a ton of "talking to a group/on behalf of a group" scenes, it helps distinguish Xem from Them.

[riding-the-sunset-bird]

In Derek's DLC, when he remembers the marriage pact, what different responses can determine how the DLC is? Because I thought I picked a response that make it one big slowburn but we stayed only friends throughout the whole thing.

I'm presuming that you accepted the marriage pact in Step 2 since otherwise Derek won't make mention of it? So I'll go with that.

There are technically three options for a confession in Derek's Step 4. Either you can confess at the very start, you can talk about the pact at the very start, or Derek can confess to you near the end.

(Also, goes without saying but of course you have to be at Crush/Love; agreeing to the marriage pact in Step 2 isn't enough. In addition, avoid any options that imply you don't want things to change or that you're happy where things are. Sounds obvious, but yeah, options like those lock you out of both you confessing and Derek confessing later because the game assumes that you don't want the relationship to change beyond being friends.)

If you choose not to remember the deal and don't press Derek to tell you about it, the MC has the option to confess ([At the very least you were certain you wanted to be with him...]), but not if you do press him to tell you.

If you choose to remember the deal instead, then you have multiple options to pursue:

Confess ([You wanted to be with him and it had nothing to do with that deal!])

Date by joking about the deal ([You joked about the whole thing.] followed by anything except ["We were crazy to make a deal like that!" you laughed.] will work, and then after the fact don't pick [You shook your head in amusement. He was being silly.] or ["Now that'd be really crazy."] either)

Be serious about the deal (anything except ["I'm really sorry. I can't go through with something like that."] will do, followed by anything except [The conversation was too nerve-wracking and you glanced away.] or ["I think it was a bad idea."])

The difference between confessing yourself and joking about/seriously discussing the deal is that the deal is treated more as a "dating test run," and then you can confirm that you want to continue being together for real at the end of Step 4 (anything except ["I think so too. We're better off as friends."] will suffice).

If you want Derek to confess to you instead though, you need to make sure that the game understands that you're interested. Any of the following will confirm that:

With either two options I listed to have the MC confess (not remembering the deal, not pressing Derek to tell you about it, then being certain that you wanted to be with him, or remembering the deal and wanting to be with him even without the deal), choose to back out instead of confessing with words or kissing him ([You did not want him to guess what you'd been thinking.]).

If you choose to remember the deal, you can then choose [You really, really hoped Derek wanted to be with you for reasons other than that deal.], or if you choose not to remember and don't press Derek to tell you, you can choose [You really hoped you were right and he did want to be with you.]

If you chose not to remember and didn't press Derek, you'll have to reaffirm your interest after he asks you to go to the water park with him ([You had been hoping that he might ask you on a real date...])

You'll know you did everything properly if, after the scene in the park when you're playing ball with Derek and he rants to you, but before he goes and retrieves the ball he sent off into the distance, he'll start to tell you something but will "Never mind" it away.

In addition, after you wake up from gaming late with Derek and have properly woken up (specifically after you've had breakfast), Derek will talk about today being big and how the two of you should do something you "couldn't do anywhere else."

If he mutters, "Wait..." afterwards, then something has gone wrong, but if he mutters, "The last chance..." instead, you're golden. Nothing can go wrong at that point besides the obvious of you rejecting him once he's confessed.

And that should be everything covered! Hopefully all goes well for you on your next try at Derek's Step 4. ;D

[monsters-villains-and-bastards]

(I am once again thinking about fallen hero (i never stopped))

Ya know, I feel like one of the reasons that fallen hero resonates so hard, at least for me, is how queer it is. Obviously, you can play as a cishet sidestep, but when you do play a queer sidestep? It *feels* queer.

Its rare that I come across a story that feels unapologetically queer. To me, there's a big difference between a story that features gay characters, a story that "is gay," and a Queer story. And even further, a story that is unapologetically queer.

With Fallen Hero, there's so many moments that are queer in a way I just, don't see often.

(I currently only have 1 sidestep who is a queer transman, so im comin at this from this perspective, but if anyone has played it other ways and would like to add, I would love to hear about your experiences with it)

When I play it, like I said, I currently have 1 sidestep who is a queer transman. So far, I've played it where he romances Ricardo, Wei, and Daniel (plus Ricardo and Wei, and Richard and Daniel). Each of them add something different to the story when they are romancing a transman that I can't help but adore.

The scene with Ricardo in his apartment, and sidestep is about to have the conversation about being trans, sidestep can panic because they don't know what exactly to say, how to do it, and what Ricardo's reaction is going to be. And you know what, yeah, that can be a very scary moment for someone who's trans. How do you tell someone you're trans when you don't know exactly what to say and how they'll react to it? And then, if Sidestep does tell him, Ricardo *cries.* He was so worried about Sidestep, and didn't know if he done something wrong, and he cries. There's also a point where he tries to make a joke or comment to lighten the mood and says something about being more familiar with those parts. And ya know what, ngl, that was a bit in poor taste but really funny. But I'm happy that it was included! Because sometimes people say things trying to lighten the mood and ya know what, sometimes it's a little bit like "why would you say it like that" and sometimes it's also funny. He's not perfect, he doesn't understand everything, but he's *trying.*

Either before or after that ( I can't quite remember, but ik it's within the same set of scenes), Sidestep can talk to him about being bisexual. Depending on the choice you pick, Ricardo can talk about growing up in Texas and that being gay or bisexual wasn't really okay. When he talks about his and Sidestep's past, there's a point where it's like, yeah, he would've been torn to shreds by the media if he was openly bisexual. And yeah, it isn't easy for everyone to come to terms with their sexuality, and it's easier to ignore it that try to deal with it, especially if you're going to experience public backlash on top of being raised in an area that was Not okay with queerness. It's scary!

One of the aspects I specifically love about Ricardo's romance, is that it's messy. You're playing a character that he knew in the past, thought was dead, and comes back into his life after so much has changed. Two people who have been broken down over the years of trauma they had to experience. There's so many ways you can play it that its hard to talk about all the ways in which the variations add their own mess to the situation too. So yeah, the romance can be so queer and so messy at the same time.

With Steel, if you're playing a trans sidestep, he already knows they're trans because of the pictures he got, but it doesn't change anything for him. He's a gay man who tells sidestep that who he sees is a man. It's that simple. He even tells sidestep that he was attracted to Sentinel, who was also trans.

With his romance, there is an age gap, but he didn't have attraction towards sidestep until after they came back, and they tried to become friends with each other. There's also some messiness with his romance if Ortega is a man because he had/has feelings for him.

With Herald, he's open about his attraction, isn't afraid to be who he is, and while at his apartment, he seems a bit nervous, he's also happy. When sidestep talks about being trans, there is a moment where he admits that he isn't sure what to say because he's gotten in trouble for it in the past, but he doesn't care, he happy either way.

For every romance in Fallen Hero, there's something messy about it. Every character has their own past with some kind of shadow looming over it. Everyone makes mistakes, eveyone has something that gives them sharp edges. None of them are perfect people. All of them are struggling with something.

Sidestep is also just an absolute dumpster fire of a person pretty much however you decide to play them. Sidestep, kinda sucks! Even if they're pretty good, by god, do they make dumb decisions!

And I do think its so important to note how much of a mess sidestep is, along with whoever they are with, if they are either a) with someone romantically, b) with someone sexually, or c) not with someone at all, because, imo, it differentiates itself from a story that has gay characters, a "gay" story, and a queer story.

When I think of a queer story, I think of the messy parts. The aspects that aren't "love at first sight" or two people who got it all figured out or "unproblematic" (sidenote: i do think we should remove the term problematic from people for a while), or two conventionally beautiful and young characters falling in love and having the most like. Heterosexual relationship you can have with 2 gay people.

Fallen hero doesn't really have conventional relationships. Even when discussing friendships, it's not conventional.

The story is Queer because of the unapologetically messy characters that exist within its setting. No one is perfect. No one has it all figured out. Sometimes a character doesn't know what to say or they stumble a little during those hard conversations about sexuality and gender. They're allowed to cry, or be confused, or understand. Not to mention that sidestep's morality can fluctuate between a good person who doesn't know what to do, to someone so unapologetically evil and proud. Allowing a character to be queer and their morals to be anywhere on that morality spectrum allows it to be a more queer story imo.

There's so much more that can be said, and could 100% be said by someone who's better at writing down those thoughts. But god, fallen hero is such a beautiful story. The conversations that can be had about it's themes of sexuality, gender, trauma, morality, neurodivergency, among other things is amazing. OUGHA, love this story.

[nalyra-dreaming]

https://www.tumblr.com/nalyra-dreaming/766550532732092416/hi-nalyra-i-hope-youre-well-ive-been-rereading

Same anon.

Absolutely agreed, especially since they really can’t go back without making a mess. They shot the arrow, now they can’t tear it away without bringing the flesh with them.

Personally I think that, as you said, we could have vampires who directly drank from Akasha (the twins, Marius, Akasha’s fledgling) blackout and have violent outbursts they have memory of but felt like they couldn’t control themselves. I was rewatching one of my favorite childhood shows where one arc had a character become very vicious to their love interest and pick another woman because of a love enchantment. Once freed, he tells their love interest that it felt like his mouth spoke and his limbs acted but he wasn’t leading himself, as if he was strapped to the control chair. And I think it’s a metaphor they could use for the ““violent”” vampires too. Having this happen in flashbacks could help too.

Ultimately they’ll have to introduce Amel and, I think, they could have him face Louis for a moment during a fight and have a little moment where he says something along the lines of “I know these eyes. Ah yes, a century ago, I remember you. Dropping you was exquisite to do” and then have a little montage of Louis “realizing”/imagining how Lestat’s possession happened.

To avoid any abuse apologia, they could have Lestat still take ownership of the fact he started the fight and acted abusively throughout their reconciliation period until Mardi Gras. Even though the audience will know by the time Amel is introduced that Lestat acted like that out of fear and wish to protect his family, this self awareness even with Louis might be the best course of action. Everything in the sense that “I might not have been in control of myself during, but I was before and after, and I was awful to you both. Even if one thing is not my direct doing, I should’ve controlled myself”.

Besides, this arc aside, Amel being the one behind so much pain for Louis could give him a bigger role in the storyline, which book Louis didn’t have. I’d love to see a scene where, while Lestat is undergoing the procedure to remove Amel, Louis meets and confronts shadows or ghosts from their past. Maybe Magnus’ ghost, with Lestat’s face plastered on himself, during a chess game? Maybe a demonic Claudia? Maybe ghosts of people from his and/or Lestat’s mortal lives? I’d love to see it.

Regardless, back to the main point, I really hope they’ll have a writer for this specific “it was Amel all along” arc, because we need someone who knows what to do, how to portray credibly all these things, and most of all how to not trigger #them

Mhhh, I don't think they'll use Amel for a lot of that, tbh.

And remember, the "abusive" coloring, while certainly true in parts (and Louis downplayed them being threatened to lay it out as abusive paranoia!) is part of the tale - the "had" to kill Lestat. Something Louis himself sees as "debatable"later. If you know Merrick...

But I digress. Amel won't be part of that coloring. Nor the drop. They established that. It's done. It will have other, different reasons.

No, Amel will be only the part outside I think, where Lestat was so... different. And that will go over badly enough, as I talked about before (and to repeat, I'm not particularly happy about it).

Also, as a note, and not to take away from the fight, but it's Louis who flies at Lestat and kindles it between them. Because of Lestat going at Claudia, yes, and I'm not saying that's wrong as an action of Louis, but Lestat does not attack Louis and start the fight between them.

As per "#them"... I don't care anymore. They will be offended by anything that will happen there. They are offended by DM being popular (it's a DECADES old ship but facts mean little these days), they are offended by people liking Lestat, they are offended at this show being about nuance and terrible people all around. It's all the same song, all the time, with little regards to facts, the shifting narrative, or what the show actually tries to say. They can stay on their little song, and maybe it'll make them happy. But I doubt it.

[risingoflights]

Hmm, you don't feel comfortable talking about it unless someone asks your opinions? Then this is your official ask!

I've never played the critically acclaimed- er, you know. And I have no idea what the Ilsabard Region is or what its story and tone are.

So! What is it, and how does it compare to what you've experienced of Rebirth so far? What do you get from one that's missing in the other? What are the strengths and weaknesses of each narrative, and which do you feel, at this point, will have the most replay value?

(Plus anything else that's crossed your mind!)

ah friend, you should know better than to ask, but thank you for asking <3

leaving xiv out of this for a moment, i can tell you exactly why chapter 7 specifically of rebirth is the one to have caused me to openly gripe.

and, as you might expect, it's to do with hojo.

i was always going to judge the entirety of this game by its handling of hojo, and so far i've been sorely disappointed. standing by what i said in my previous post about nostalgia and fandom goggles, i still believe there was more written into hojo in og than, say, scarlet and heideggar. and since remake did a decent job rounding out president shinra, i was hoping hojo would get similar treatment. so far though, it seems like they've gone the opposite way.

i try not to make too many comparisons to og because many characters are pointedly deviating away from their og characterisations (rufus seems a standout so far), but this point in og was importantly where hojo started shaping up to be more than the trope he began as. it was crucial that as soon as sephiroth reappeared, hojo abandoned shinra. in fact if memory serves, someone (heideggar or rufus?) even points this out in og - hojo's 'disappeared'. then when you see him in costa and cloud asks why he's there, hojo admits 'the same reason as you'. cloud was chasing sephiroth, so was hojo. and he was doing it without shinra because finding sephiroth wasn't on shinra's agenda - at least not at that point.

i was actually so hopeful and happy at the end of remake where the camera pans across the executives lined up in front of rufus, and hojo is decidedly missing - off laughing to himself...! excellent! that defiance seems to have led nowhere in rebirth!

you could argue that in rebirth, hojo decided to continue using shinra resources to go after sephiroth and he's still playing his own long game. doesn't change the fact that rufus was openly out to kill sephiroth now - so what did he tell hojo to make him stay, if hojo had wanted to leave? i mean, you could argue a lot of things to make things make things deeper. and maybe things will get deeper - i'm only halfway through rebirth after all - but rebirth hojo was still on the beach to capture the robes and study them. that single-minded drive and obsession with sephiroth just isn't present. it felt like the icing off the original cake. the bikini girls fawning on him, really fun! him throwing off-handed remarks about recruiting them for his sephiroth breeding program, noooooot... as fun! the whole shinra bigwig come to town, johnny being made to carry his briefcase and push crowds on the beach out of his way? ish! sort of a... dazzling superficial picking of what that scene originally was? did i laugh? yes! was i let down? also yes!

the other thing that really grated on me was the optional aerith dialogue, but that's no surprise - the whole aerith situation has been one big headache for me so far and promises to continue to be so. talk to aerith on the beach and she says a bunch of things about hojo culminating in 'i hate him'. oh. oh, like we really needed this explicitly said? you know, what i really loved about og here is twofold - 1. hojo doesn't appear to even remember aerith's name, which is such a good demonstrating of him not registering her as worthy of ifalna, compared to rebirth where hojo literally yells this at her during battle. this was one of the neat little consistent touches about og hojo - he didn't give a shit, but passively and dismissively - like, it's not so much he deliberately chose to harm others as he just didn't even register harming others as a concept, which made the few people and times he did choose to be sadistic stand out more. and 2. og aerith, instead of... any of the ugly things she could've said to and about hojo, asks him about her lineage and connection to sephiroth instead. how loaded does that make their relationship? that no matter what he did to her and her mother, she still registers him as a source of knowledge and felt pressed to ask him despite the subject being a particular sore point for her?

og aerith probably also hated hojo - i mean, that just makes sense. but the way that scene played out really sets precedent for more questions... what more? what else? which. i guess summarises a lot of the issues i have with rebirth so far. that whole sense of wonder is just not there. the game likes to hand you everything, tell you exactly what to think. this is often done at its detriment, because real complexity simply cannot be spoonfed! BUT - i have to keep reiterating - nostalgia and fandom goggles. they're grafted to my face and i can't take them off.

....so after all that, would you still like to hear about ilsabard? i realise i've just completely failed to answer all your questions but, thank you for allowing me to vent a little!

[thatssonanii]

Chapter Four

Warnings: Cursing, 18+, excuse any typos

Author's Note: I'm glad yall are enjoying it so far. Thank you for the asks you're sending in. Don't forget to interact and share the poets as well, that helps me a lot with all of this! Tell me what yall think of the addition of the texts. Also any gifs I use belongs to @annoyedkayah2395 ! I forgot to say that before but they're all made by her! My favorite gif maker! Enjoy!

Masterlist

Chapter 3

For the morning and most of the afternoon Jon and Trinity kept the couple apart trying to get unfurnished out of both of them. The only way they were going to be able to help the way they agreed to was to do so. The mystery behind Nadine's attitude towards Zilla plagued them and from the outside looking in, the married couple knew not trying to figure it out would be detrimental to the young couple's relationship. While Jon and Zilla played the game in his man cave, Trinity and Moriah were sitting on the floor in her vanity room going through her wigs. 

"Have you talked to your mom since Zilla said what he said?" 

Moriah shook her head as she brushed through a hot pink wig. "Nope, I'm sure she's not happy. She was already mad that I hadn't called her in three months but I just couldn't."

"Couldn't what?" Trinity asked picking up a wig to brush. 

She shrugged haphazardly. "I couldn't deal with her. On top of the stress of starting my job, Zilla's training and maintaining our relationship, I couldn't deal with the smart shit she says and the jabs she throws. The only reason I even called her was because Zilla said something."

"How does it make you feel when she says something about your relationship or Zilla?"

"It pisses me off, it always has. I hate it."

Trinity nodded. 

"Did it stop during the eight years he was gone?"

She scoffed, "No, it just wasn't as frequent. I was mad at him but that didn't mean that she could say the shit she was saying, you know? When I was a freshman in college was when it started to taper off a little."

"Cause you were away at college?"

"Nope. Cause I started dating this guy," Moriah explained softly, "But once she found out that he was a pre-med and that he came from money, it picked back up. About how he was such a better choice and could do this and that for me."

Trinity raised her brows and shook her head. "Did that hurt your relationship with him?"

"Eventually. We were together two years too long."

"What happened?"

"We went to Georgia for Christmas break because I missed my dad, I talked my mom into going and that was a bad idea." She chuckled. "The whole time she was telling my dad how great Thomas was and all that other crap. And I remember seeing my dad looking at him with this hard face, when I looked at Thomas I realized why."

"What happened?"

"It was because he had this big ass grin on his face like he was enjoying being talked to at the expense of someone else. At some point, him and my dad were able to talk and it made my dad like him even less. Christmas morning he kept alluding to asking me to marry him, my dad flat out said no."

"He clearly wasn't a good person but I'm sorry that was your mom's fault. She made him feel like that was okay."

"You're right but he was also really arrogant, he just hid it well majority of our relationship."

"So what happened? Did he propose anyway?" Trinity asked switching out wigs.

"After my dad said no, my mom stepped in to say her peace and my dad asked me what I wanted to do. Told them that I wasn't ready to get married, I was barely 20."

"You weren't ready or you didn't wanna marry that specific person?" She asked with a brow raised making Moriah laugh. 

"Both," she said quickly, "And my parents knew that, my mother was pissed. Then he made this big scene saying how I was stupid for even thinking about Zilla, he called him something else, and for thinking that I would have a good life with a felon. My mother of course agreed, telling me not to ruin my life."

"The nerve. He showed his true colors then."

"Yeah so my dad kicked him out right then, after he left my dad and mom argued. About what, I'm not really sure. I went to my room to call Ma and tell her Merry Christmas."

"That's sweet that you and her talked while he was gone." Trinity cooed passing a satin wig bag to her. "It sounds like your parents were on two different levels. Were they always like that?"

Moriah carefully placed the wig into the bag then at back on her hands. "Yes and no. From what I remember when they were married, they were happy but my dad bit his tongue a lot for her except when it came to me."

"Yeah? How long were they married?"

"Uuuh they got married like three years before I was born and got divorced a little bit after my eleventh birthday so fourteen years. A long time."

"Damn, why did they divorce?"

She shrugged. "All I know is my dad left his job at the time for his dream job and we were gonna have to move to Georgia and then I went from crying cause I was gonna have to leave Texas and Zilla to crying cause my dad was gonna have to leave me."

"Were they acting any different beforehand?"

"My mom was. She was so mean especially to my dad. That was when she started to vocalize to Ma that she didn't like Zilla or us being friends. Before it was just in the house, she'd tell my dad and me and occasionally say it while she knew he was in the house."

Trinity frowned, "She was taking her divorce out on yall?"

"I don't think so, I don't know really honestly."

"So let's talk about something that you do know," Trinity suggested with a small smile, "You gotta set boundaries with your mom, Rye."

She sighed sadly. "I try but she doesn't care. She tells me to stop being dramatic or stop being a baby."

"If she can't respect your boundaries then you need to have consequences. She's your mom but she doesn't get to disrespect you or your relationship." Trinity explained, maintaining eye contact. "You love him, don't you?"

"Of course."

"You wanna stay together?"

Moriah nodded. 

"Then you need to do what you need to do. If you don't, you're gonna let her ruin your relationship."

"Yeah … I know. I gotta figure something out."

Down in Jon's mancave, the men were playing Tekken 7 having conversation here and there outside of the trash talking. Between the married couple, Trinity had a much better way with words and getting information slyly while her husband lacks that certain skill.

"You been talkin to your woman?" Jon asked keeping his eyes on the screen, pressing buttons. 

Zilla glanced at him a few times out the corner of his eyes, making sure not to let his character to beat. "Huh?"

"Have you been talkin to Rye?"

"Uuh I live with her, I talk to her every day."

Jon sucked his teeth. "I mean about yo feelings, Uce. You letting her know if you good or if you're not good?"

Humming, Zilla focused back on the game. That was the same question his mom asked him damn near every day. He wouldn't say it out loud but he was tired of that question. 

"She know I'm good."

"That mean no," Jon laughed, "That's ya woman, man. You don't have to hide shit from her. Especially when she already know when you not good."

He shook his head. "Nah, she don't. I'm good."

"Sayin that don't make it true," Jon reminded him putting his focus back into the game for a moment to make sure he didn't lose the round, "Tell me this. After you zone out and you get ya bearings back, is she watching you or staring?"

"I mean yeah but her ass always starin a hole in my face."

"Okay, does she have the usual look in her eyes or is it different?"

"Ion know," he shrugged, "Different."

"Okay so she know, I'm telling you. Yall known each other long enough that she know when you not okay and you know when she not okay. What's the point of having her if you can't talk to her?"

"I can talk to her, I just don't want to. Therapy was enough talkin, ion wanna talk about it no more." He responded honestly. 

Jon paused the game to turn to his cousin. "I know you don't want to but it's good to talk about it. That shit gon start coming out in other ways that won't be good for you or your relationship."

Zilla sat back on the sofa, inhaling and exhaling deeply. "Ion wanna make her sad with my sad shit. Especially when she gotta deal with her weird ass mama."

"Do you care if she tells you her sad shit?"

"No," he answered quickly. 

"So why you think she care of you tell her your sad shit?"

He shrugged. "Don't know. Shit hard."

"I know but it's worth it. Start small then grow, you'll feel better. I'm telling you."

"I hear you."

"Yall got a six hour drive back, use some of that time to start."

The phone call with his ex-wife still fresh on his mind Hassan decided to reach out to someone he knew would understand his feelings and thoughts. He would always love Nadine but her actions would always have a wedge between them. He sat in his den with the football game on mute and the phone call on speaker.

"Did our children call you to be a referee?"

Hassan laughed loudly, "Nope, that is a job meant solely for you. Neither of them ever like my referee style. How are you, Leata?"

"I'm pretty good. How about you?"

"I uuuh," he thought rubbing through his beard, "I'm alright. Didi called me yesterday."

Leata laughed, "I'm sure that was fun. What is it about my son this time?"

"It was them both apparently," he chuckled, "Rye hasn't called her in three months and as a thank you Zilla told her about them getting busy on the sofa."

Unable to help herself, Leata laughed loudly into the phone. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know he shouldn't have but I'll be dammed if she didn't bring it in herself."

He laughed, "My thoughts exactly. But apparently that conversation gave her the urge to check on our babygirl. Although it's obvious that he's taken very good care of her."

She snorted. "That's obvious. She's going to visit them?"

"Ha! You know she's not going right now. She's wanting me to go."

"Awwee and you're gonna do it for your dear Didi," Leata joked. 

"Negative," he answered jokingly, "I told her I would but I was already planning on going down there. I was calling to see when you were gonna visit."

"I'm not sure, I didn't wanna crowd them. Plus I was kind of hoping they'd come back for Thanksgiving or Christmas."

He hummed thinking, "Well Thanksgiving is next month so maybe they will. I can't wait that long or Didi will be up my ass. I'll probably go in the next couple weeks."

"She won't," she laughed, "She's too busy up Rye and Zilla's ass but okay. If they don't come for Thanksgiving, I'll probably go down there. If you wanna come down."

"That's no problem. Make sure you invite our favorite person."

Leata whistled. "Favorite is generous but of course. Moriah would never hear the end of it."

"Right. We'll talk soon. Call if you or our kids needs anything."

"Same to you, Hassan. Make sure you check on your Didi."

While Hassan and Leata spoke, Nadine was making a phone call of her own. She had spent most of the day before into the night doing searching until she found what she was looking for. The conversation with Zilla burned her up on the inside, he had beat her at her own game momentarily. 

A deep baritone voice flowed through the line. "Hello."

"Well, well, Dr. Gardner. How are you?" 

"I'm not doctor yet but I'm well. Who is this?" 

"Nadine Parker. It's been a little while, Thomas. How's medical school?"

"Oh yes ma'am. It's been pretty good. How have you been? How's Moriah?"

Nadine smiled hearing his question. "I'm good. Moriah is fine, she moved out to Florida. She's working at Lakeland General now in the emergency department."

"Is she really?" He asked excitedly. "I'm in pediatrics there."

Nadine feigned surprise. "You do? Such a small world."

"I'll have to go down and see her. Is she single?"

Nadine groaned softly, "Unfortunately, she's not but I'm sure seeing you would make her come to her senses."

"Who is she's dating? Is he competition?"

She scoffed and laughed. "God, no. The jail bird could never compete with a doctor, son."

"Future doctor," he chuckled, "But noted. Do you when she works next?"

"Tomorrow, 7am to 7pm."

"Great, I'll be there tomorrow. Is she really with that felon?" He asked with a hint of laughter. 

"Unfortunately she is. He's the one who moved her to Florida to wrestle of all things," she spat. "But it works out because you're there and you can show her the mistake she's made."

Thomas snorted, "Wrestling? I definitely have nothing to worry about, they drop like flies anyway. Thank you for calling me."

"Oh no, thank you, Thomas. You're saving my baby. Save my number and keep me updated."

"Yes ma'am. Have a good day."

"You too, son."

Happy with herself, Nadine did a little dance as she typed out a message to her daughter. The sun was going to start shining for her soon, all she had to do was be patient. Though she would have to suffer for a little bit longer, it would all be worth it to be rid of the man in her daughter's life. 

Moriah's phone went off as they were leaving Jon and Trinity's neighborhood. The rest of their time visiting was spent with all four of them together, talking and playing. Their lives aren't bad in Orlando at all but it felt good to be with family for a few days as that's what they were used to. 

"What's wrong?" Zilla asked seeing the frown on her face.

She shook her head. "Nothing, my mom texted me but it's weird."

"Weird how, Fat?"

"Ima read it to you," she responded still confused, "I love you guys. You both are gonna have an amazing day tomorrow. Call me after work, sweetheart."

It was Zilla's turn to frown. "That don't sound like Ms. Nadine. She either high, in distress or plottin."

"Exactly and knowing my mama, she's plotting." Moriah sat quietly thinking then groaned. "You don't think she's gonna pop up, do you? I'm not prepared for that."

He shrugged, "Ion know but if she does she can have the bedroom and we'll take the sofa."

Moriah pushed his shoulder, laughing. "Whatever you're about to say or thinking, just don't."

He laughed. "I wasn't gon say shit but I'm glad you and me on the same page. She better stay in the room if she don't wanna see Zilla and Fat gettin busy."

"Isayah Fatu! If she's in town, you're not getting any."

"Bullshit," he laughed, "If that makes you feel good to say but I know the truth, Fat."

"And what is the truth?"

Zilla looked at her from the road, a wide smile on her face. "Don't act like you don't know. Them nights that you stayed at home instead of with me, what happened most of the time?"

"Don't know what you're talking about, Fatu," she answered trying to keep her laugh in. 

"You don't remember texting and calling me to come over after she went to sleep?"

"Nope, I didn't do that."

He laughed, "Oh you didn't? So you ain't call me poutin when I would tell you no? And I guess it wasn't you that sent me them videos either?"

She shook her head starting to laugh. "Nope, nope and nope. Wasn't me."

"You sure? I still got the videos," he grabbed for his phone and she snatched it laughing. 

"Don't do that. I did not have sex with you in her house."

"You ain't sex with me in her house? Oh right cause I fucked you in her house. Got it." 

Moriah covered her face laughing. "Fuckin hate you. You didn't have to say that. Filthy ass mouth."

"And you love it too. Don't you?" He asked in a lower tone. 

She stared at the side of face. "I'm not doing this with you."

He put a hand on her bare thigh as he drove, squeezing. "Tell me you love it, Fat. Come on."

Looking between his hand and his face, Moriah scrunched her face playfully. "Fine, yes, I love it."

He hummed, "You love what?"

"Zay, no."

"Ima leave you alone when you tell me what I wanna hear."

She huffed softly, squirming in her seat. "I love your filthy ass mouth," she mumbled.

Smacking her thigh, he moved his hand back to the steering wheel, a smirk on his face. "That's my girl."

"You are a demon. Just 100% pure demon."

"Yeah and you like that shit too," he laughed. 

The couple rode quietly for the next couple hours with Moriah going in and out of sleep. As he drove, Zilla thought about the conversation he had with Jon and tried to work out how to start the conversation. 

"You have like a date or anything yet?"

"For my debut?" He paused got her answer. "Not yet. I got a meeting with Shawn tomorrow I think it is too talk about all that."

"Let me know so I can make sure I'm off and so I can make sure your family is there cause you'll forget."

He chuckled a bit. "Appreciate you."

"Are you excited?"

"Yeah but it's kinda fucking me up though."

Moriah listened quietly, giving her all of her attention. 

"I'm excited but kinda sad too. My pops ain't ever missed nothin so I still expect him to be there," he explained keeping his eyes on the road, "And when I don't see him in the crowd or wherever I am, that shit gets me."

"Baby," she pouted as she reached over to rub the back of his neck, "He's not there physically but he's always there. You remember those pictures from your first match? The photographer was complaining and worried cause he thought you were gonna hate the pictures."

"Was he? Why? The pictures was dope." He asked glancing quickly at her. 

"Yeah, because no matter what angle or where he moved that bright light was in every single picture." She laughed a little. "And when he was talking to me and your mom about it, your mom looked at the pictures, looked at him and was like it's just his dad, don't worry. So nonchalantly and she laughed with me saying how he was determined to be in your pictures."

Hearing that made him feel somewhat better, he remembered looking at the pictures thinking that same thing about the light but kept it to himself. Knowing that they thought the same thing let him know that he wasn't just trying to make that true. 

"Damn," he smiled, "That's crazy. Sound like em though."

"It does. I know that you're still gonna scan the crowd for him, just know that he'll be there and he'll let you know. Hopefully it won't be a bright ass light all the time," she joked, "But either way, he's gonna show up for his baby boy."

He grabbed her hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss it then locked their fingers. "Thank you, Fat. I needed to hear that."

"Don't thank me for that, it's what I'm here for. I'm good for more than just cooking for you and getting busy, you know."

He laughed heartily, "Noted, baby. Ima remember that."

After dropping Moriah at the hospital the next morning, Zilla went to the Performance Center instead of going home for a couple hours. Hardly anyone was there that time of morning which meant less people for him to talk to and more time to get a workout in. While he was walking on the treadmill, he felt a hand on his back and stopped the machine immediately. He snatched his headphones off then turned around with a dial on his face. 

"My bad, man. I ain't mean no harm. Just wanted to come speak, that's all." The man explained. "Trick. Good to meet you."

Zilla nodded wiping his face with his towel. "Shit, you good. Nice to meet you too. Zilla."

Trick smiled a little, "You already know I know who you are. Ain't no need in acting like that, man."

He shrugged modestly. "I appreciate that but I'm just me, just Zilla."

"Whether you Zilla or just Zilla, we know you are and you better know that shit too. Especially around here."

Zilla squinted at his words. "What that mean?"

"Some of these people around here vicious is all I'm sayin."

"Mmm, I hear you."

"Listen I know we just met and you have no reason to believe me but I'm bein sincere," Trick told him sincerely, "Me and Melo dealt with it, shit a lotta good people went through it. Just tryna look out for you. From one man to another."

Zilla nodded, he was unsure about Trick and his words. They sounded sincere enough but in this world he could never be too sure. 

"I gotta get to a meeting so ima move around." 

Not waiting for a response, Zilla went to the locker room to change before his meeting and thirty minutes later he was sitting across from Shawn Michaels. 

"I won't keep you long, I know you have stuff to do around here but we need to talk debut for a second. I like to involve talent in their storyline and for them to be comfortable with what they're doing," he explained clasping his hands, "When you're comfortable the work is times better. Understand?"

"Yes sir, I got you."

"Alright so that being said we were thinking the last week of November. Gives us all enough time to work things out. Does that sound good to you or do you need more time?"

"Nah, that's good. I can do that."

"We think you'd work great as heel unless you think face is something you wanna try," Shawn paused, "Booker thinks highly of you as heel though."

Zilla shook his head, "Heel. I like being heel. It's fun for me bein like that."

Shawn nodded, writing a few things down. "Alright, heel it is. I'm gonna get with Hunter and Paul to come up with a little something for you but we also want you to come up with something too to bring to us. All of our resources are open to you, talk to your cousins I'm sure they'll help you out. I can put you in touch with some other guys that wouldn't mind helping you either."

He nodded thinking it over. "Alright, I'll let you know if I need em."

"You have a week before you meet with myself, Paul and Hunter. So don't wait too long."

"What's wrong, baby? They said it was an emergency. Are you hurt?" 

As soon as the charge nurse told Moriah it was an important phone call from Zilla, her heart was in her throat. The few feet to the phone felt like miles because her mind had automatically went to the worst. 

"Nothin wrong, I'm not hurt, Fat. Breathe, baby." He assured calmly. 

"Toni said you said it was an emergency. What is it?" She asked still stressing. 

He chuckled, "Its a emergency but not a bad one. I promise."

"Zay," she sighed trying to calm herself and her nerves "Don't scare me like that."

"My bad, baby. She just wasn't tryna give you the phone and I needed to talk to my baby. It's important."

She exhaled on a chuckle. "Start talking and hurry up, fool."

"Zilla got his debut date, baby!"

Moriah squealed alerting few of the doctors and nurses around her including Toni. She whispered an apology. 

"When? When? I'm gonna take off for it right now."

"Tuesday after Thanksgiving! They gon keep me heel too."

Moriah teared up a little but quickly wiped her tears away. "I'll be there in the front row with my sign. I'm happy for you, Zay."

"That make me feel good. Thank you, Fat."

"You're welcome. I'm taking you out to celebrate my first day off. Somewhere special." She said softly. 

He chuckled. "Word? I'm lookin forward to it."

"Good but I gotta go. I'll see you when you get here and do not block the door again."

"You need curbside service though," he laughed, "Don't work too hard. Zilla love you."

"Moriah loves you more, Zilla."

After she hung up, Toni came to stand to her left with a knowing smile on her face. Toni had been extremely welcoming to her and friendly since her first day. She was older than Moriah but it didn't bother them. 

"From the squealing and the smile on your face, am I to assume that there was nothing wrong?" She asked in a hushed tone. 

Moriah giggled. "Maybe."

"Uhuh so what did Mr. Man want? Did he interrupt my ED to say he was thinking about you?" She joked. 

"Noo," Moriah sung out, "He got some good news and wants to share it with his baby."

"What was it?"

Moriah smirked playfully. "I would tell you but don't wanna interrupt your ED even more." 

"You're on my list, DeBreaux."

Moriah laughed going towards the room, she heard her name being called. 

After her shift, Moriah gathered her things then went to the nurses station to talk to Toni. She was wasting time since Zilla was running a few minutes behind. She didn't mind as she knew he spent a little more time at the PC to talk to Booker.

"What are you getting into tonight?" 

"Nothing at all since I gotta be back here in the morning. Pick dinner up, eat, and fall asleep to whatever movie we pick out." Moriah laughed. 

Toni rolled her eyes playfully. "You are such a old woman. Why don't you and Mr. Man go out?"

She shook her head. "Cause I know he's tired from training plus he's grumpy when he's tired."

"He grumpy or you're grumpy?"

"Who's side are you on?" She asked jokingly. "We are gonna go out when I'm off though. Gonna take my man on a date."

"Ooooh a date, huh? Should I get the pregnancy tests ready?"

"Absolutely not ma'am. No babies, not right now. But what you can do is go ahead and approve my day off."

"It's not even November yet, Moriah," she laughed, "Hell, we ain't even hit October yet."

Moriah pouted at her. "It'll be October in a few days but pleeeease. I wanna make sure I'm off and I'm there. Oooh I got an idea."

Toni folded her arms, laughing at her younger coworker. "What's your plan?"

"You should take off too and come with me."

"To a wrestling show? No ma'am plus I'm not gonna be in town." Toni laughed at her pout. "Dr. Miller coming in hot."

Before Moriah could say anything, Dr. Miller was standing right next to her prompting her to take a step over. She smiled politely. 

"You heading out, Moriah?"

She looked at her bag and purse,  making Toni laugh softly, then back at the doctor. "Yup, I am."

He laughed a little. "I didn't notice your bag and stuff, I'm about to head out too. Been a long day."

Moriah nodded slowly and looked to Toni for help, who just shook her head laughing.

"Right so I was thinking um," he trailed off trying to find his words and nerves again. 

While Toni and Moriah waited for him to spit it out, Zilla walked into the ED. He had been calling his girlfriend with no answer so came in to check on her. His face scrunched when he laid eyes on her and saw the doctor standing close to her. Waiting for a few nurses and patients to pass in front of him, he approached his girlfriend from behind and slid his hand around her neck to her throat, gently leaning her head back. He kissed her lips a few times before letting her go, allowing his hand to rest on her waist. 

"You okay?" She asked looking at him. 

He nodded, sizing Dr. Miller up. "I'm straight. You ain't answer so I came to make sure you was aight."

Toni covered her laugh watching the scene unfold in front of her. Moriah checked her phone seeing the missed calls. 

"Oh I'm sorry, babe. I was talking to Toni and then Dr. Miller came up. Which let me not be rude … babe, this is the charge nurse, Toni and this is Dr. Miller," she said sweetly, "Yall this is my boyfriend, Zilla."

Toni stuck her hand out to Zilla still laughing, "Finally I get to meet Mr. Man who interrupted my ED."

"My bad, Toni," he laughed, "Ima do it again though."

Toni laughed. "For your sake it better not be a real emergency cause I'm not giving her the phone again. Dr. Miller, don't be rude. Speak."

Dr. Miller looked between all three, actively tryna avoid the scowl on Zilla's face. "Not ride, just didn't wanna interrupt. Nice to meet you. Zilla is it?"

Zilla tilted his head a little. "That's what I said, uce."

Moriah glared at Toni, who kept laughing. "Okay so yall have a good night. Let's go, babe."

"Wait, wait," Toni called out reaching across the station to grab Moriah's arm as she tried to go, "Don't you remember that Dr. Miller was about to tell you what he was thinking. Go head, Dr. Miller. Tell Moriah."

He scratched the back of his neck, "Oh I uh I was just gonna see if Moriah wanted to get a drink with me to relax after work. As uh as … as co-workers."

Moriah mouthed to Toni that she was gonna hurt her as Toni continued to laugh while Zilla held Dr. Miller's stare, silently daring him to look away. 

"She good, uce. I got all the relaxation she need. Come on, Fat."

Moriah waved to them before leaving. When they got to their car, Zilla helped her in before going to the driver side. She watched him as he drove, a slight frown on her face that made him laugh. 

"You always watchin me, man? What you want?"

She pushed his arm, "You know what. Why you do that?"

"Do what? Come check on you?" He laughed. "I was being a good boyfriend."

"By scaring that poor man. He was so nervous, Zay."

"Good, he should be. He was too close to you. Talkin bout gettin a drink, fuck outta here." He fussed as he sped through traffic. "Thought you was gon go for that? Naaah, not my Fat."

A smile slowly made its way onto her face, she poked at his face. He swatted her hand away. 

"Chill with that."

She kept going. "Is my Zilla jealous? Is that what I hear?"

"Ain't nobody jealous."

"Mmmm … you felt some type of way. You've never seen anybody flirt with me? Not since you been out." She teased.

He looked over at her for a moment not saying anything. 

"Its okay, I kinda liked seeing you like that. Plus Dr. Miller is a lot. I've been turning him down for the last month."

"Let me know if he bother you again."

Moriah giggled. "Yes sir."

"Aight now, you enjoyin it a little too much, Fat." He chuckled. 

She shrugged playfully. "After dinner are we calling your mom or did you already call?"

"I wasn't gon call her without you. She'd be mad if I did that anyway, whenever I talk to her she stay askin if I checked on you and if you got what you need."

"Yup cause I'm her favorite, not you."

"If it wasn't for me, yall wouldn't even know each other," he exclaimed playfully. 

"Oooh the jealously bug just bit you up today, huh?"

"Since you got jokes, you gon be at work tomorrow with bites."

She stopped laughing. "Wait, that's my funny. Don't do that."

"Ooooh it ain't funny no more, Fat?" He laughed. 

"Noooo. Last time you did that, I had bites everywhere when I met your grandma. And my mama thought you was beating me up."

"Shit, I was just not in the way she was thinking. But that was your fault cause you thought you was funny. I'm funnier though, Fat."

She folded her arms, pouting. "What if I say sorry?"

"Too late for that, babygirl. Just prepare yourself."

Thomas got off the elevator a quarter pass seven, making a beeline for the emergency department. One of the patients he was helping with needed assistance so he wasn't able to leave in time. Making it to the nurses station, he went to Toni.

"What do you need, Thomas?" She asked not looking up from her paperwork. 

He looked around as he spoke. "Nurse DeBreaux, is she here?"

"No, she's not," she answered now looking at him, "Why are you looking for her? There are plenty of nurses in Pediatrics where you are assigned."

"I needed to ask her a question about a patient that was in the ED," he lied quickly, "It's not an emergency. When does she work again?"

"I can call her for you, Thomas."

"No, just tell me when she works. I'll come back."

Toni hummed. "Tomorrow at 7am."

"Thank you, Toni. I owe you."

"Uhuh, don't get yourself into any trouble now."

He flashed her a quick smile before leaving. Toni sat with the interaction for a moment, replaying it in her head. Something felt weird to her but she brushed it off.

[anomalyaly]

Interview with a Writer

Thank you for the tag @mscostac!! ❤️

WHEN DID YOU START WRITING?

I've been writing all sorts of stories since I was in elementary school. I had a few friends that we would co-write drabbles with that at first started with making up things about our own lives, then descended into the world of fanfiction as we got older.

After having my writing made fun of by someone I once considered myself close with (who was also a fanfic writer), I was too afraid for a very long time to post anything. I stopped writing for the most part for years until entering the Hogwarts Legacy fandom.

I saw so many people branching out and writing amazing stories, and it inspired me to write one of my own!

ARE THERE DIFFERENT THEMES OR GENRES YOU ENJOY READING THAN WHAT YOU WRITE?

I'm a fantasy reader, but I also enjoy contemporary fiction and romance. I'm fairly open to trying different genres, but those are the ones I gravitate toward.

IS THERE A WRITER YOU WANT TO EMULATE OR GET COMPARED TO OFTEN?

I haven't posted enough to get compared to anyone. I don't have a particular style that I emulate - I read a variety of works and pick out nuances of authors that interest me, and sometimes I weave it into my own writing. But as for now, I'm just trying to find my own groove.

CAN YOU TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR WRITING SPACE?

A laptop 😅 I don't really have much of a writing space. I'm currently staying home caring for my child, so my workspace has to move with me whenever baby naps. Usually, after bedtime, I'll sit in a recliner in the bedroom and write on my laptop with a pair of headphones to keep me from getting distracted (which is very easy to do with a baby).

WHATS YOUR MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO MUSTER UP A MUSE?

Reading, music, and thinking about the characters pretty much all the time. I'm always thinking through different scenarios and playing around with them in my head before something strikes me enough to want to write about it.

ARE THERE ANY RECURRING THEMES IN YOUR WRITING? DO THEY SURPRISE YOU?

Again, I haven't posted enough yet, but almost all of the scenarios I come up with for ideas have two things - happy endings, and fighting through hell to get there.

WHAT IS YOUR REASON FOR WRITING?

It's an outlet for me! I've always been into creating. I studied an arts degree in college (music) and have always the desire to create. To me, music is another way of telling stories. Writing is just another way for me to tell my stories in a more palpable way.

IS THERE ANY SPECIFIC COMMENT OR TYPE OF COMMENT YOU FIND PARTICULARLY MOTIVATING?

EVERY comment! I love comments telling me to keep writing, or when people react to my stories! I go through all of them and have a huge smile on my face when I see someone is enjoying reading. Comments are a way of showing love to authors, so every comment is motivating!

HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE THOUGHT OF BY YOUR READERS?

I want people to think of me as someone who is friendly - I don't want them to be afraid to comment or talk to me! The thing I love about fandom is the fact that we can all mutually bond over something we all love.

WHAT DO YOU FEEL LIKE IS YOUR GREATEST STRENGTH AS A WRITER?

I feel pretty good about my dialogue. I tend to act out conversations to make them flow more realistically and imitate facial expressions so I can figure out a way to best describe character reactions in the scenes.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR OWN WRITING?

WELL. I'm definitely very critical of myself. As I said above, I had someone I considered a close friend review my writing, and they made fun of it relentlessly. That voice is always in the back of my head telling me that it's not good enough, and that no one would want to read it. I have to remind myself constantly that the original reason I started writing was because I love it. But it's a challenge to not be critical and overthink every little plot I come up with.

In the end, once I post it, I'm happy with it, and I hope that I'll continue to love the things that I create, because I worked hard to create something I love!

No pressure tags:

@gingerlegacy07 @thursdaymoonrise11 @ravenwind-75 @gyattoru @endless-starlight-legacy

[wetcatspellcaster]

Out of curiousity, do you have any tips for outlining and how to recover from burnout? 🫣🫣 I haven't been able to get words on a page for two months now.

hey anon!! I'm sorry to hear that.

unfortunately, I'm not the best person to ask about burnout, as I tend to try pushing through it and my current state of being (bad) tells me how well that's going for me lmfao. in response to that, my only things I can say is:

there might be a reason why you haven't been able to write for two months, and that's ok. sometimes the well runs dry and you have to wait for rain. two months is not very long and is not a personal failure.

when trying to get over burnout, i tend to pick something low-stakes, silly, and fun to begin with. either a sillier scene for a longer piece, or a piece that's disconnected from my other /serious/ projects. do something that doesn't feel like work.

As to outlining, I have a lot more advice there! so below the cut!

Outlining tips.

the way I outline my work is as follows:

I put all my big plotpoints in a document - the non-negotiables (e.g. in Pieces this was the soul jar, the nature of what ascendency is, the major character death, etc). these are the things that the story needs, to have internal consistency. if you don't have an end at this point, that's so totally fine, but it often helps if you do, because having an ending guarantees the most internal consistency of all.

I tend to outline the start first, and write to a point where I begin to get the tone of the story (in Pieces, this was up to Chapter 7, and the library, I think you can tell because there's a shift in action in this point), and then once I'm there I begin hammering down the specifics of the big plotpoints I mention above.

My outline is always literally bullet points. I start with bulletpoints of the story and its progression, and then as I begin to write in a chapter format, I might make smaller bullet points going beat by beat in a scene.

I try to give myself as much flexibility as possible, beyond the 'internal consistency' point. So while I may have bullet points for the story progression, I do not hammer down a chapter-by-chapter necessarily, because often as you are writing you find the natural breathing points/cliffhangers that will do that for you. If something ends up being longer, I am happy for it to become a chapter - same if conversation etc. that need to happen end up being too short to stand-alone.

Another type of flexibility is the ability to embellish and ad-lib. I typically outline in 'x happens' or "y talks to [side character]", or in lines of dialogue I want to include if I've been struck by inspiration. But the action is not necessarily determined (unless I've been struck down by visions) until I'm writing it. A classic was in Pieces I knew I need to have romance scenes in between plot happening, so I'd be like "something sexy happens" or "another confrontation here". Another example is I knew Orin was going to confront Astarion in an Honest Lie, and she had some goals (wanted to see if he was weak enough to be manipulated, etc.) but the holy water was added last minute when I realised I wanted more horror. Give yourself breathing room to embellish in the moment so you can have fun with it.

My final piece of advice is: know when and when not to stick to your outline! Pieces was my first popular fic as it updated, and a lot of the comments were positing things I wasn't doing. I kept to my outline then, because I knew that trying to change to please others would just fuck the story, bc the story had always been written with a certain ending in mind. So I just had to tunnel down, even if it made people unhappy - at least then, the ending wouldn't feel cheap.

BUT if you are having doubts or... if you're bored, which is the biggest writer killer, then maybe there's a way to spice up your outline. I know sometimes it's unavoidable (Iron throne, I'm looking at you), but try not to do the whole "I am writing to this one fun scene at the end"... you will probably get bored before you get there. Try to make every scene fun for you to write, if you can!!! Be silly with it, as well!

[halliescomut]

Love-Sea ep 7 semi watch-along

Okay, we're back on schedule, but I think I'm gonna kind of do a combo of my watch-along procedure and my Post-watch Thoughts. Doing the watch alongs is fun, but I'm pausing every couple minutes if not more often to type and it's kind of ruining the flow of the show. The post-watch posts, while sadly not as funny (I think probably) let me actively enjoy the ep, but I will also forget things or fuckup timelines since the parts that stick out to me the most are gonna be more memorable. So instead I'm gonna watch, and like following a scene or when there's like a solid break in the action (what feels kinda like a commercial break) I'll pause and write some thoughts.

-Starting with the cold open (Which if you've never heard, that term, is just the scene that plays at the opening of an episode before the title screen/intro)- I thought this was cute. We have Mut being allowed to stay in Rak's bed. Their conversation kind of reiterates what I talked about in my post watch of the last episode only verbally which I think is good. What we're picking up as viewers isn't necessarily what the characters would be picking up in the situation so having that explicit discussion about the reason why Mut is willing to take on the responsibility of picking up Meena, I remembered her name now, is important to ensure Rak has a full understanding that he is important to Mut. I like that Mut also offers his help with the Father situation, but takes Rak's assertion that he can handle it (and I hope he holds to that). The physical acting of Peat is also really good in this scene. There's a lot of small movements and touches that really sell the performance. In particular one I noticed was that once Mut wraps himself arms around Rak, Rak places his hand over Mut's and kind of glanced at their hands together with a small little small. It's very tiny, but reinforces that Rak's emotional walls are chipping away bit by bit and he truly is coming to care for Mut and enjoying his presence.

-I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it kind of wasn't that. Rak has consistently appeared confident about handling his father, to Mut, to Meena, and I assume probably to his mother and sister also, so I was kind of taking him at face value there. But we see that his still very much experiencing very real and difficult trauma around his father. While the captions for my viewing didn't fully translate the conversations on the hidden phone, it was clear that every year or so his father starts seeking out and bugging Rak, his sister, his mother, and now Meena, and he sends him money to get him to stop. It seems this phone is the only way for his father to directly contact him, so after he transfers the money and texts him to leave Meena be, he immediately becomes fearful that his father will call or text him back. This explains why he did this in the middle of the night, when it's likely that his father would be sleeping and slow to notice and respond to the text.

Rak coming back and seeking comfort from Mut is also both surprising and not. I think in a lot of ways Mut is one of few people who has never hurt Rak, and so is a safe emotional place for him. I think Mut's general calmness and steadfast personality is also kind of calming for him.

-I'm skipping the Mook and P'Vi stuff til later, I'll maybe do a wrap up of their scenes at the end.

- The book fair beginning I really like and enjoy, because we get to see Rak being appreciated for his work which is something that he really takes pride in. Seeing him smile when his fans come up to talk to him and specifically when they're telling him about how they like his work I think is really sweet and adds just another facet to the character. We also have the comment he makes to Mut about how he doesn't want to be there on stage with the actors. He's perfectly happy just to be doing the autograph sessions and getting to interact with his readers.

I feel like it's also clear to me, that he was expecting Prin to come into that VIP room and that's why he sent Mut away because he knew that she wouldn't speak freely in front of him, and also probably that he couldn't necessarily speak freely in front of him either. I do think it's weird that prin keeps talking about how terrible Rak's family is when she's part of his family, like bitch the call is coming from inside the house. I do also think it's weird that there is almost no clarity as to what her actual fucking problem is. Cuz I guess jealousy sure, but even that seems like a lot of time and effort for jealousy. Also, I guess throwing the water on herself could do something, but like....when everyone has only ever seen him being polite to her, and he's generally kind, I'm kinda iffy on people just flat out believing her. Like it just seems like a risky move with little potential payoff.

-I did very much enjoy her interactions with Mut though. Mostly because it's so clear how frustrating she finds him because she has made up her mind that he is just this stupid low-class gold digger with a hot body. Her rich, classist ass can't fathom that there would be more to Mut than that and it's really keeping her from being able to actively use him in any sort of way against Rak.

(I clicked play and had to immediately have my TV volume bc Prin is yelling so loud. Jesus.)

- Well....that certainly backfired on Prin. I'm glad Rak was prepared and it certainly confirms my suspicion that he knew she would confront him and try to pull some bullshit.

-Boss and Noeul look very handsome. It's kind of fun to see them basically playing themselves. I'm hoping we do get to see a bit more or if them in this ep and the series in general, even if just in small parts. The man on stage with Boss, Noeul (I'm using their real names since we haven't been told any character names), and Rak is the actual director of Love Sea, which is a fun little cameo people might miss. He also directed LITA and was a co-director for Wedding Plan with Mame.

-Our final little scene is dinner with our two couples. It's all around kinda fun and cute. I like that P'Vi is kinda a savage person, so she reinforces for Rak that he shouldn't feel guilty for what Prin did. We see later with Rak and Mut going to bed that he's reading the comments and starting to feel guilty, so I think it's good he has people to remind him that Prin had every opportunity to just leave him alone. The leaking of the footage feels mean, but I don't truly think it is when it comes from years of her harassing Rak.

-I think the age discussion at the very end is a bit clunky as it's clearly intended to set up the product placement, but I do like having a clear understanding of ages when we know there's a significant gap. They talked in the lead up about how this story has a more similar gap to their real life ages. Peat is 27 and Fort is 23, and so I think they've perhaps aged Rak a year or so and brought Mut's age down a maybe the same amount. While I don't find it to be the most comfortable age gap, I'm always wary of stories going a bit too far. Mame's not known for age gaps, the vast majority of her couples are the same age or perhaps a couple years apart, so I wasn't assuming a 15 years gap by any means, but at the same time she dabbles in enough problematic tropes that I always have my guard up.

Our preview for next week shows Prin 'teaming up' with Rak's father so it's sure to be rage inducing for me I'm sure. Also perhaps another NC scene. I swear I'm not here for just the spicy stuff, but Fort and Peat do a good job of using them to help expand on their characters relationship really well, and they're fun to watch. (Plus I got more stuff to get on my bingo board.)

Here's my bingo board so far btw...only 3 eps left so I kinda don't think I'm gonna get bingo 🥺. Sailboats represent boxes being checked.

That's all for this ep. I don't have any meta ideas, so I'll probably just be back next week.