#I originally posted this on tiktok but since that's going away I guess I better start uploading videos straight to tumblr instead

[remescient]

the basement yard bros are so cumplane coded

[athena1138]

I'm alive. I'm coming back because of Tiktok getting banned. (If you're joining me for the first time, this post also serves as a "Proceed Further from Here at Your Own Peril" because the person I was when last I was on tumblr is vastly different from who I am now.

-----

An update on me for my friends on here who haven't heard from me since last I was super active:

I am no longer going by Becca/Rebecca/whatever. I'm going by Lenny, short for Alena. Lenny Bones, I guess, is kinda becoming my default internet existence. I know it's kinda campy but it's fun. Alena comes from an original character, and Bones comes from a dnd joke, so, it's personal, and it's me. I'm identifying as nonbinary these days and prefer they/them pronouns.

I moved states for a beautiful woman. We were together for a year, broke up for a year, and now we're back together again and going good. I love her. I hope one day to marry her.

My cat Chowder passed away. He was struck with a mystery illness and was put to sleep in December 2021. His big brother Varric is fine. He's going on either 7 or 8 this year and he's as grumpy as ever. My dog, Zoey, was also put to sleep as she developed severe hip dysplasia and dementia in her old age. Pippin lives at home with my mother with whom I do not speak anymore.

I've been unemployed since I moved. At first it was to recover from covid burnout but it developed into chronic illness and disability that keeps me housebound. I'm well taken care of, so there's nothing to worry about there.

This is pretty much it. I was on Tiktok and now I'm not lol. I'm trying to be a better person than I used to be. I'm a lot less angry than I used to be because I have a healthy, fulfilling relationship with a partner who understands me and who I know I can trust, and I've bloomed a lot since meeting her. I'm not perfect, but I'm at least more mindful of my imperfections and I try hard to slow my toxicity. No more hate-reposts, no more worked-up-rants. I hope to keep it up.

Tumblr looks weird now lol.

[burgundylove08]

Hello! I was the person who wrote the Moana 2 review, and I saw in your comments about having the unpopular opinion about Lin Manuel Miranda not being in it, and I wanted to say that I agree with you 100% I didn't mention it in the original post, and as someone who does like Lin Manuel Miranda's stuff, I 100% agree and felt the same way, and liked that he wasn't a part of of Moana 2.

1.) Because you are right, he really could have had Ta Vaka do "We Know The Way" but inserted himself, and I did think that was weird at the time, but didn't question it to much when it came out in 2016... But now listening to it, I think it is weird and a bit disrespectful that he sang on it.

2.) I just believe that a soundtrack is allowed to be good without Lin Manuel having anything to do with it. Yeah, it was 2 white women, but they didn't insert themselves into it and it gives them a chance to learn from this soundtrack to hopefully go on to produce other better soundtracks on different things. Everyone's gotta start somewhere, and quite frankly... in another "unpopular opinion" I feel like Lin Manuel is kind of... inserting himself in too many things in general that he really doesn't need to insert himself on.

Just wanted to say you're not alone in your opinion and respect you for saying it!

I am so glad at least someone agrees because everyone on tiktok is saying they miss LMM but they were all complaining about him?

I think the only thing Barlow and Bear did I guess “wrong” but more of ignorantly is Maui’s song in Moana 2 being “Can I Get a Chee Hoo?” It really does take away from the significance of what the chee hoo is. And I have a ton of thoughts on Dwayne Johnson’s representation of us Pacific Islanders or more his lack thereof, but he doesn’t help that either also. There’s interviews where people ask him what his culture means to him and he’s like “well I was born here and my grandparents are buried here” but that doesn’t really mean anything. Anyways I digress. In another interview he says something along the lines that a chee hoo just means excitement. But its cultural and historical meaning has so much depth that he could emphasize on. But honestly I don’t think that is simply Barlow and Bear’s fault because there are so many people that could have told them and they didn’t. Honestly the song isn’t that great in general but I think that’s because they were trying to mimic LMM when they could have given Maui a completely different sound especially with his character development in the last movie.

But yes I say it all as a Lin Manuel-Miranda fan also.

Plus also, Barlow and Bear are amazing musicians. Despite all of their mistakes with the Bridgerton musical thing they did, it was an amazing work and seemingly the reason they got this job. And the music is so good in Moana 2 and I don’t understand why people are shitting on it. Get Lost is my favorite song in a Disney movie since Show Yourself in Frozen 2.

So anyways, all that to say, I am a Moana 2 apologist and all the haters can fight me.

[dirtyvulture]

😎 I am so glad that you got the original intended post!!!!! I was very proud of it even if my thoughts ran off on me and I gave an impromptu history lesson 😅 . Your right lord help the poor man , woman, gender fluid , nonbinary person that wants to be with Rogue. R is also probably wondering who is going to pay for Rogue’s dowry as Rogue’s parents suck so much but if the person Rogue wants to be with truly loves and makes her happy , then R supports it but will not be entirely happy that someone has come to take her adopted daughter away. R is also trying to  calculate how much a dowry would be worth today as R knows and understands that the value of money has changed over the years. R is thinking she will just make Charles pay for it and she believes that when the time comes it would be Charles that the person interested in marrying Rogue asks for permission and for Rogues hand in marriage. Charles who be the one to approve or deny the match.

As for your question on the most Recent Hudson family members, they are 100 percent still around . R thinks of them as basically catholic rabbits because of there is always more of them and that they have multiple children at a time ( at the very least R knows that Esther was Roman Catholic , whether or not she was married with children at the time she meets R is up to Vulture. But Esther was at least 25 at the time.) R’s reaction to meeting ANOTHER Hudson in the wars and KNOWING that there’s more “ * Que the  TikTok audio of “ THATS ENOUGH SLICES ( Hudsons ) !!!!!” Like this girl wasn’t born in a time and lived through condemns and plan b being nonexistent, really shitty or frowned upon. Or like she wasn’t expected to get married and literally have as many children as possible!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

All the Hudsons know about Wolverine even though there’s no wars going on. Wolverine had written to many of the former Hudsons and stayed in touch off and on over the many years and especially in between wars . Those Hudsons kept every single one of the letters and everything relating to their Wolvie ( they call R THEIRS and are very protective of that position ) . I think they are always waiting and looking for any signs of R or for R herself . They know that if R is in real trouble or just needs someone to talk to or be with she will come find them and if they are in danger or need ANYTHING at all R would DROP EVERYTHING to get to them. That is until project X and R lost all her memories and lost her old friend. The Hudsons haven’t heard anything from her since then but they are still waiting for R herself or for anything related about her.

I had a really stupid idea about how R got the pocketknife that Nat takes and I guess just owns now . Girl really just said that this is mine now and Wolvie was just were like “ alright 🤷‍♀️” . It isn’t as simple as R just buying it ,1 she already has three big ass knifes in her forearms and popping out of her knuckles on each hand and 2 that isn’t enough theatrics or drama for R come on . So back in the day when R was out and doing her thing in one of the wars she was in ( dealers choice of which one ) and she was walking into a building and in a town or village that was under attack from the war and R was clearing the area of civilians to help them move into a camp or something as the area was no longer safe. As R made it further in the building a scared little girl jumped on to R and was repeatedly stabbing her because the girl thought R was one of “ the bad men” as R was walking towards the girls younger siblings. She grunted ( R tried really really hard not to swear up a storm and hide the damage done by the girl as R healed) pulling the girl off and explained that R was a nurse and she was here to help everyone to get out of this mess and away from the bad men . R later gave the girl a larger knife that is much better then the “ tooth pick” the girl had before. And R kept the knife , R is happy that the “ toothpick” is going from one fierce girl who wasn’t going down without a fight to another.

This is the last bits of of this post . I am still annoyed that auto correct did me dirty once again in the last post with that it change “ The” fearful population into “ r he” ( like what the fuck , how does that make sense) fearful population . I am glad that amanda13parker agree to make the art pieces as they are truly talented and I know that it will turn out well. I have a few more thoughts in left this au but that is for another post. One is about how a scene can go between Jean and Nat one on one and they are of course talking about R . Also R swears like an absolute sailor ( and she is very creative in her swearing) but she tries her absolute hardest not to in front of kids and keeps her language as clean as possible for them .

It was a big post too, I'm happy your efforts to type it out did not go to waste!

Not the dowry 😂 That's so old-fashioned though, maybe R will decide it's a tradition not worth continuing anymore lol

Awww nooo I hope R gets to remember the Hudsons one day and how they will always be her guardian angel. 🥺 I'm sure the family was devastated when R went "missing" for the chunk of years she was in the Weapon X program, but then one of them sees R in public one day and passes on the message that she's alive at the very least.

Yeah, R is not going to fight Nat for that itty bitty pocket knife back. 😂 I love that little backstory though! If this is the case, then R definitely took it back out of the Widow, because that is too important to leave behind!

Yep, @amanda13parker was very much willing to sketch us a crest and I know it will be excellent!

(I'm writing Part 3 now and working on a scene just between Jean and R. 👀 These two have some great (and hot) history but I still need to figure out how much of I want to divulge...)

Looking forward to your next headcanon, as usual!

[eldritch-queern-magicat]

When I was very young, all I wanted was to perform music on a stage. I shied away from that dream after a few years past foster hell. I felt all over again how they had made a blatant mockery of me, with what I was struggling with. They only saw a wild child, and did their best to crush me. Afterwards, Nanny absolutely made it worse, even though she claimed to love me (I'm honestly still unpacking this mess).

When my parents helped me realize what being a famous musician would mean besides the art form, I was afraid. Terrified of the potential scrutiny that would come from it. So I ended up just putting that dream away. Writing stories would become my primary outlet after that, because something had to take its place. Later, I'd also develop my skills at drawing. I'm an artist, it's in my genes. I wouldn't stop singing and otherwise making music as I could, of course. It just wasn't anything other than keeping myself grounded at some level, reminding me that other people do feel the same kinds of things as me.

The whole thing is, that original dream still hung on like an aloe plant for decades. I might try to ignore it, but it would never really die. It survived on the dregs of my other art. And I've been realizing this week just how easy it could actually be, for me, to make my poetry into song.

There's a video on Instagram of me reciting one of my poems written last month. I have this cadence, apparently, that people really like. But I have it very much because of music. Dad is also an entertainer by nature, with theatre and the carnivals as a young man, and even now is still entertaining almost anyone he has a conversation with. The rest is from various YouTubers I follow, some who read stories for their channels, and quite a number of science/history/plus communicators and educators.

Yes, I've been thinking of reading more of my poetry and posting on Instagram and such. But the thing with the video I did share, is that I was so focused on my poem and setting the desired tone of the event I was at, I didn't think about anyone recording it at all. I guess I should have realized it was bound to be recorded. But it was me not even thinking about being recorded that helped me speak without getting too nervous as well as I did. So the idea that I know I'm being recorded, because I chose it in the first place, is a lot more nerve-wracking.

It's not that I'm afraid I can't do it, since speaking to any kind of audience is getting a little easier each day. It's the trauma and baggage I've been carrying my entire life. It's that whole thinking it's better to stick to the shadows and background. But the truth is, I've always been very visible in life. And frankly, it was often against my will to begin with. So choosing to embrace that visibility is a lot scarier than just having it thrust onto me by someone else.

The most frustrating part about this is the fact that doing it is inevitable. I just struggle with the video format because it seems to mean showing my messy-looking face. I've been subjected to so much judgement over how the nerves literally don't even all work right to begin with. How I had no impulse control, when the truth was I just never had the time to develop it. It's kind of why I abandoned my tiktok account years ago, along with some general platform type concerns (and it's not even the political crap).

Yes, I've thought of going back and doing stuff. But my physical appearance makes me nervous about it, since people are still so judgemental. This may also be inevitable, though. I'm in the middle of reclaiming myself, and the decision to embrace my physical visibility has already been carved in stone.

Being entirely honest, I don't quite know where this will end up leading me. I'm walking into the wide unknown with only my lantern to guide me through the shadows. And even though it seems like I have no path to even follow, or even a clear destination, every step farther lands on solid ground. My path unfolds with each step I take, even if I'm only stepping onto thin air.

A snowball's chance in Hell is all I need.

-Sterling 🎉😺

[fortemelody]

(this was my original comment)

you’re all good! i’ve posted things i regret and have since deleted, so i understand just posting that in the heat of the moment if you saw something you disagreed with (not saying you have to regret your own post; i thought your take was fair and not problematic whatsoever but i just felt it was lacking context so now i understand).

i think this generation gap thing is actually very interesting, seeing as though i only got into the fandom a couple years ago and i’m still a minor. i tend to forget that as the world got more and more progressive, so did the internet/fandom spaces. which means it definitely started on the not-so-excepting side. it reminds me of when people used to get so mad when you called rainbow dash a lesbian lmao.

at the same time though, i feel like it’s tough and odd to compare how much a ship “has it worse” than queer ships. to make up a random example, i’m sure like 60 - 70 ish % of the sonic fandom hates sonelise (not a real analytic just a guess based of stuff i’ve seen). so therefore people who like this ship would hypothetically get shit on way more than something like sonamy or sonadow because of the more interactions these two have and gained popularity throughout the years.

i don’t know if that example made any sense, but i’ll try to elaborate on the point i’m trying to make. queer ships have it worse when faced with actual discrimination, obviously (saying this as someone in the community). but if you’re just faced with someone who doesn’t like it, it usually comes down to reasoning, game events, and personal preference (unless therye just bein a jerk). basically, if someone is just super ruthless either for or against a ship, but it doesn’t involve homophobia, then it’s kinda hard to compare certain aspects.

going back to sonamy itself, i won’t bore you with the details of why i like the ship (as that could be a whole post itself). but i wanted to say that amy’s character is so all over the place that her narrative with sonic is, also, all over the place. like first people thought she was an insane stalker (which i think is definitely true in a select few games, like sonic free riders), and now people think she’s too boring and her only real character trait is being a girl. i think since sega finally warmed up to the idea that sonic might actually like her, they toned her down so this would be more believable for his sake. however, imo this makes her lose a lot of fun sass. i think right now the best example of what she could/should be in more games is a balance of both, like in the sonic idw riders arc (evan stanley’s writing). a lot of why i like sonamy actually is the same case for amy herself; fans are way better ar interpreting and expressing the little tidbits of lore and character traits that sega gives us.

lastly, the age thing. *shutters* i absolutely HATED how mfs on tiktok who knew nothing about sonic would be like “erm… 12 and 15…yikes!” or “erm technically shadow is 50 and sonic is 15…”. when will people learn that they took away official ages for an ACTUAL REASON. this was seen as some people just an excuse to ship whoever they wanted together, but in the context of the company, it’s simply just to make things less confusing and complicated. this is becus sega over the years couldn’t even get their characters ages straight. in some manuals, sonic was stated to be 15, and in others sonic was 16. in fact, i’m pretty sure at one point they really fucked up and made classic sonic older than modern sonic. i’m someone very against adding up characters just to simply make them sexualized and nothing else. and if you think about the fact that sonic is still a children’s property, obviously this is not the approach they wanted.

anyways, this rant got a bit derailed, apologies 😭 i get very passionate about sonic. this was more of just an analysis rather than an exact response. but i still hope OP and others enjoy!

Sonamy shippers act like they're oppressed as if Sonamy isn't the most popular Sonic ship ever

[fandom-sheep]

MCC 18 SEP 21

Yellow Yacks and Cyan Coyotes with a little Aqua Axolotls. Part 1/1

The only reason I didn’t forget MCC was because I got the notification for Eret.

I have Wilbur on my TV. I’m going to watch Eret on my phone. And I’ll have Tommy on my iPad probably.

Wilbur throwing a tantrum and saying he won’t play.

I feel like a true Gen Z member with my multiple screens of minecraft.

I’m only just getting the Wilbur notification.

I love watching everyone run around before MCC and scale things.

Griefing the thumbnail. 😂

Wilbur just causes problems on purpose when it comes to group photos doesn’t he.

He just loves finding ways to cause problems.

Wilbur got a coconut!?!

I didn’t mean to type the question mark originally. But I am a bit confused.

Wilbur just stocking up on coconuts

True friendship is a quote book. I have several.

Baby banana boo.

Wait. I heard the word tumblr

Scott what did you do with tumblr?

I’m scared. Only Eret permitted on tumblr.

I remember watching hole in the wall as a tv show as a kid.

Wilbur’s glasses that don’t do anything.

There are September discounts for subbing?

Neato.

The conversations in my work discord are something else.

Not surprised that Wilbur is going for top swearer of MCC

But my residents are going to walk by my door and judge me.

Alright I apparently wasn’t signed in to twitch on my iPad and it took me entirely too long to learn to remember it.

Tommy looks like he’s really concentrating. Oh wait never mind.

Wow the yaks are in first currently. I might be cheering for a winning team for once.

Alright I have my iPad split screen between Tommy and the MCC website.

Everyone break the elevator!

In the game, not in the building I work. I don’t want that paperwork.

Stick together and place many block.

I’ve been in Wilburs position. “I’ll be captain” “yeah let’s let Wilbur be captain”

Not a single POV I have up is synced. But that’s life.

Oh not starting out strong.

Just keep going. Ignore the falling people just like ranboo last time.

We are at the absolute bottom for this game.

Where’s a bag of popcorn or something?

“Stay down there. That’s how I won that one time” -Ranboo

Down they go.

They didn’t have anywhere to run.

Second round!

Oh that wasn’t their best idea. It was fun seeing Erets POV of that.

Go Teams.

Turning down the volume on yellow yacks to listen to aqua axolotls.

Aqua please. You have so much potential.

Nope.

Switching audio again.

Yellow back at the bottom.

Ranboo ranboo ranboo ranboo

Down he goes. 😂 the timing of that was funny.

Please. Don’t die

Wilbur. Scott. Please.

Scott uncovering the creeper.

Their plan is literally just sit and be.

To be fair that’s my plan for everything I do.

Oh cobwebs are smart.

I’m eating very salty Chick-fil-A chips and need water.

We are still doing ok. Wow.

Cobwebs man. The real MVP.

They are still in 10th

COBWEBS!!! And Wilbur standing on the edge of a block.

THEY WON THAT?!?!!!!

It moved them from last to eight. But still. Wow.

Holy cow. How did that happen.

I always forget what the acronym game is.

Oh yeah. Wilbur snuck and found this. I remember.

Go team!

Oh the website updates faster than the game. But we’re starting off decent.

I’m going to have to take back that statement aren’t I?

Go go go go

Fly fly fly fly

Build build build build

Go Wilbur!

Rafter strat.

Wilbur found the rafters and everyone else loved it.

Blocking his own jump. 😂

I really should do the inside joke chair emoji thing for laughing. But I don’t care.

Tiktok is nice. Depends on the side you are on, but it’s nice.

We are doing halfway decent. I’m proud of us.

Wilbur is struggling and I think he might cry.

Not bad. I don’t think.

Power sweater.

This game in MCC has rainbow road vibes

I’ll have to make that it’s own post since I feel that’ll be popular ish.

Holy cow we hit first on the website!! How?

Ranboo sweet one.

They said no peaking to Wilbur.

Wilbur making them block stuff off and the like is so funny.

Run yaks run!

I missed the moment Wilbur just mentioned. Oh well I’m sure I’ll see the clip.

First last first.

Hey 4th overall. Look at em.

Wilbur switching to full screen to show us his M&Ms.

Let me balance my water bottle on the bedpost above my head. No way this could possibly go wrong in multiple ways.

Double coins. Gorgeous.

Chickens are being sniped.

What’s going to work? TEAM WORK!

I don’t think I have ever watched a game of grid runners in my life?

Alright game should start any second because it started on the website.

Alright stream is delayed about 13 seconds.

Go teams go!

Wilbur just sniping targets.

We’re doing ok.

All this dirt.

Go go go

We’re completing things first.

Cake!

Wilbur got in!

Now they eat

Oh but they are falling.

Oh wow the painting is complicated. My friends and I would fail to communicate so fast.

Is this lever thing just find the button but complicated?

Go you got the levers!

Items grab!

My friends and I would seriously struggle unless I was allowed the lead. But I would lead us off a cliff.

Everyone get ready to go in as soon as the cake is done.

Exit! You guys are so close! Please!

Woohoo!

Go Ranboo! Go Scott!

Come on guys. Come on. Good communication.

I think I like watching Wilbur with MCC because he had a similar strategy to what I would do.

Wilbur why did you try to act cool!!!

They keep saying they are miles ahead but not according to that scoreboard.

You placed 3rd. Good job y’all.

I’m excited for bonuses.

They have another minute until the others run out of time.

Good soup.

Oh wow. Ranboo and Wilbur really are always totgehe.

We are doing well. I see the board changing on the website so much.

Where will they land.

Looks like 2nd or 3rd

Fourth overall. Not bad.

Lap time is logical.

Audience vote?

Look at me redownloading twitter.

Can you not see how others have voted on twitter?

Oh there it is. It only showed mine for a sec there.

Battle box looks close. I voted ace race.

Oh it all looks close right now.

Long break my beloved.

I don’t have time to start my laundry but still. My beloved.

Game 5/8 so MCC won’t be too much longer.

I look up and Wilbur is shaking his ass at George. I’m not surprised.

Phil and Sneeg judging Wilbur.

Wilbur twerking on Phil and Sneeg joining.

Poor Phil.

Wilbur just having visited so many random places with so many random words just gathered.

Oh wow parkour tag is low. But so is sands.

Oh wow it was a tie. Between Sands and Parkour

“Wilbur is Sand Daddy” -Scott and then all the agreement noises.

Sands of Time is my favorite practical game

Maybe because Wilbur is really good at it. And Ranboo had been trained by him.

This is just good.

I swear Sand daddy is going to kill me during this.

I am just going to pass away.

My stream delay though.

Wilbur who says he stays very quiet as he makes circus music noises.

Minecraft Rhinos. Because I can’t spell their real name.

I don’t quite understand sand of time. But I like watching. It’s like college football.

I am missing the only college football game I care about for MCC.

Go Team.

No blue yet.

All the mobs.

“You better not die” sung to the tune of Santa clause is coming yo town. -Wilbur

Keep it up guys.

Oh no. They lost the key.

Oh good they found the key.

You can tell Wilbur had a musicians brain. He just hears something vaguely lyrical and starts singing a song.

Gotta promote your band whenever you can I guess.

I listened to the last Ep for like an hour and a half yesterday while I went about my day.

I wonder how we’re doing?

Only a few seconds.

I could warm a heating pad in the amount fo time they have left.

Ranboo doing these puzzles so amazingly.

Quit caring about what others think. Just do your thing.

I swear the sand daddy thing.

I love the cage of shame for not tracking your sand.

I zoned out. Red cyan orange?

We’re almost 15 minutes into sands.

I want to play Minecraft on my iPad right now.

Wait the website updated. We were 6th?

Yikes. I thought they did better.

3rd overall though!

Wait what was that about most influential improv thingy? Good for them.

Build mart!

Oh Ace Race. Wilbur calling Ace Race his girlfriend now.

I want to see the enemies to lovers fan fictions of Ace race and Wilbur.

Oh wait I can do that. I can verbally tell one like I have others in the past.

I’m excited to watch this.

Wilbur flirt with the race.

I’m not mentally prepared for this.

Everyone just joined because they don’t want to miss Wilbur x Ace Race.

Oh no. He’s not doing so well.

Oh Wilbur is giving us more.

Complicated history…

Whispering to Ace Race and Solidarity.

You’ve got it Wilbur.

Keep on talking. Keep your brain busy while you play.

Mommmm Wilbur is flirting with Ace Race again!

He’s whispering though so I can’t quite hear it and will have to find a clip channel that added subtitles.

Oh teams are changing on the website.

“What are you doing in my women Philza?” -Wilbur

“I will end your bloodline which is canonically also me.” -Wilbur

I can not track all the quotes from this. That’s beyond my abilities.

Wilbur did halfway decent, but it still uncomfortable.

Ace Race is a person now. Also the fact that Wilbur compliments Ace Race so much.

Sally v. Ace Race.

I want to find that fanart now.

Scott honey. Confirmed cannon is everyone fancies the fish.

4th. Not bad.

We’re still talking Ace Race x Wilbur

Build mart! My dearest buildmart!

I miss them sliding around in the sleds.

Grab da flowers!

We’re in 1st at the minute.

Come on yaks!

No coyotes!

Hurry hurry hurry.

Work discord going it’s thing again.

Oh we’re dropping fast.

Move the redstone! Thank you

Alright back on top. Keep it up.

Nevermind.

I love the way the build spaces for the different teams work.

Who is the person on the build?

Oh first again? Nevermind.

Oh we popped up to second. We’re so behind. Come on.

Duck!

Good soup energy. Now all I can think is the bi wide energy song.

Time is running out.

Yeah we aren’t catching up to first. Just hold second.

Where is granite?

Game over.

Third overall now. Not bad. Last game time they can possibly pull it into dodge bolt.

I need to go get a picture with the President of the university for a game with my work.

Good Soup.

I’m sitting here making popcat noises while waiting.

Game time! Go team! Survive!

Wait where did the steamer go? I wasn’t paying attention.

He’s back.

He’s swearing for his points on the swearing list.

Is pee a soup? No. I don’t think it’s think enough under normal circumstances.

Karl is apparently swearing according to Twitter. Good for him. He deserves to swear some as a treat.

Everyone running and leaving shubble.

Oh good they are all together.

Just keep running.

4th so far.

Cars. Beep beep.

Ranboo breath child.

Calling Wilbur like some kind of golden retriever.

Bow boy

Scott is leader now. Because otherwise they are arguing.

We are playing the don’t die strategy.

Come on team.

Did I put my cut in this post? I did.

Ranboo having stolen the airdrop. And he has a thing!

Oh the boarder is right behind them.

They are fighting Dream?

Nice Will.

We’re in fourth.

Boarder is right there.

Sapnap? Nope.

Pink attack and they book it.

Oh no. There goes Wilbur.

Is it just Scott?

Scott vs the world.

Just Organe and pink. They came third.

GO ORANGE!

Please. Please let us do it.

Overall third. Pink overtook yellow.

Sadness.

Ranboo has achieved: Found Hated Game

Ranboo has been hit by Survival games so many times now.

If they had just lasted a tiny bit longer they would have come second.

Cheering Orange I suppose.

I have no skill at picking winner POVs.

I have 3 teams I was at least kinda watching. And none of them are in dodgebolt.

Gosh can hear Ranboo tweaking.

Wow. Yellow yaks just as a team twerking.

What is Wilbur chewing on? Wilbur don’t chew on things that probably aren’t meant to be chewed on.

I can hear the band outside of my window. I think my campuses football game is starting.

The drum line practiced outside my window all the beginning of the semester so it’s fun seeing them march to the stadium.

Oh and there are the cheerleaders.

Oh right I was watching MCC! Who’s winning?

Come on Orange. So close.

Wait I looked out my window. Why is the band walking back to where they were?

Along the sidewalk?

I thought it was game time for a minute.

Oh dodgebolt could go either way.

Distracted by Jesus.

Grian! You got this!

Nice Grian.

Oh Grian has a chance!

Oh!

Oh!

It’s so close!

Ooo ooo!

I’m so invested.

I SEE THE CONFETTI IN THE SITE! But I don’t want to miss the shot.

Come on Grian.

I know you do it. But you’ve got this

YESSSSS

Woo hoo!!

That was a good MCC. Now to do the chores and homework I originally planned to do today.

That was a nice stream.

Scott is separating Ranboo and Wilbur?

Please. Scott.

Don’t separate the beings.

You know. Twitter needs to politely bully Scott into keeping Ranboo and Will together.

Oop and that’s Wilbur done. That was fun.

See y’all next time!

[reidingandwriting]

A Thousand Years

Word Count: ~3,600 words

Ship: Aaron Hotchner x Reader (my first Hotch fic!!)

Warnings: A curse word or two, a suggestion towards smut; dialogue and plot kind of follows scenes from season 7, but plenty of originality :)

A/N: Credit for the inspiration goes to imreallyfunnybtw on TikTok!! The video that inspired this video is linked here. Can I please have an Aaron Hotchner of my own? This takes place around season 7, except for Beth it’s Y/N! I wrote this as a gender neutral reader with no descriptors, but if I missed anything while editing, please let me know :) I got permission from the creator to post this, so I hope it doesn’t disappoint!!

When Hotch lost Haley, he never really planned on getting into another relationship. He went on the occasional date, being dragged into playing a wingman role while with Rossi, but there was never that spark. There was never that feeling he had always heard of, that moment you knew you wanted that person in your life. And it’s not like he had much time for another person in his life. When he wasn’t at home with Jack, he was at work- whether that was at the FBI Headquarters in Quantico, or in another state for days at a time. And when he wasn’t working, Aaron valued every moment he could get with his son. When he did have time for himself, he often found himself in the park. And that’s where he met you. He had just finished his run when you came along.

------

“Either you do sprints for fun,” Hotch turned around as he heard a voice, a person jogging over and stopping a few feet away, “or you’re training for something. I hope it’s the latter because only a sadist would sprint like that.”

“No, I’m.. I’m trying to do this triathlon in February.” He spoke between pants, and your eyes lit up in recognition.

“The FBI one, right? You’re an agent? Oh, shit. I’m not supposed to ask if you’re an agent.”

“Yeah, the FBI one. I work for the,” a brief pause, “justice department.” A faint smile graced his lips, and you felt your own mood lifting at the sight. “I’m guessing you’re training, too?”

“Yeah. For a MS triathlon, in January. I’m not in nearly as big of a rush as you though.” 

“Well, I only have about forty five minutes a day. Between work and home, it’s… hard. And that’s just for the running. For biking? I’m pretty sure my tires are inflated.” Hotch let out a laugh and you smiled, an idea now in your mind.

“Well, I was planning on cycling this weekend. I’m not the best cyclist, so I could always use a partner. If you’re not busy.” 

“I, uh, don’t know my schedule for work yet. But I should know in the next few days, and I could call you?” Hotch asked and you nodded.

“Yeah! Yeah. I have a card somewhere.” You pulled a card out of your armband and handed it to Hotch. “If you have any free time this weekend, give me a call.” You started to walk off, but stopped when you heard him speak again.

“So, what made you think I was an agent?” You turned around and shrugged.

“I saw your suit. What else could you be?” And with a wave, you spun back around and jogged off with a laugh. Hotch watched you with a smile that didn’t leave until he got to work.

--

“So, are your tires all pumped and ready?” You asked as you settled on your bike. It was late Friday night when you got the call from Hotch, where he asked if you were free in the morning. You happily agreed, and now you were back in the park where you had met- bright and early on a Saturday morning.

“Hopefully. So, you haven’t done a lot of biking?” Hotch asked and you shook your head. “But you’re going to do a triathlon?” 

“Go big or go home.” You put your helmet on and adjusted the strap, and the look on Aaron’s face made you giggle. “That’s what my dad always says.”

“Your dad sounds smart.”

“He was. He passed away a couple months ago.” You weren’t a profiler, but it didn’t take one to notice the emotion that flashed through his eyes, the understanding. He’d been through loss as well. 

“I’m sorry. Is your mom still alive?” Hotch asked.

“Yeah. She’s doing a lot better.” 

“That’s good. And how are you?”

“I’m hanging in there.” A silent moment of understanding passed before you spoke again. “So, where are we headed?”

“I usually go up Connecticut, through Rock Creek Park, then back through Sixteenth. But we don’t have to do all that if you don’t want to.” “No, let’s do it.” You shifted as Aaron put on his helmet. “If we lose each other, we will meet back up with each other at Dupont Circle for coffee.”

“If we lose each other?” Aaron’s brows furrowed. “I thought we were doing this together.”

“The chase is the best part of it.” You winked before you pushed off the ground and pedaled away. Hotch shook his head, a fond smile on his face as he got on his bike and pedaled off after you.

------

That bike ride became the first of many training sessions together, which led to a few dates sprinkled in between. Whether he’d admit it or not is a whole other story, but you had worked your way into Aaron’s heart. While the two of you hadn’t been official for long, he felt as if your connection had been there from day one. Hotch was grateful for that feeling, which made your first real date much less nerve-wracking. It was Valentine’s Day, thank you Morgan for the reminder, and Hotch couldn’t remember the last time he felt that nervous for a date. 

------

Aaron stood on your front porch, bouquet of flowers in one hand, and his other knocked on your door. He took a deep breath to compose himself right as you opened the door. 

“Hi.” You said as you opened the door. “Oh, the flowers are beautiful. Thank you.” You took the flowers from Aaron. “I didn’t think we had anything planned.”

“You’re welcome.” Hotch said and he watched as you lowered your head to sniff the flowers. “And we didn’t, but I just get called away so often. So I thought we should take the opportunity while we had it.”

“That was very thoughtful. Let me grab my stuff and I’ll be right back.” You stepped inside and set the flowers down, then fixed your hair before you grabbed a sweater. Perfect, you nodded at your reflection in the mirror by your door before you stepped back out to meet Aaron. “So, what’s our plan?” You asked as you closed your door, locking it. 

“Well, I suppose I could tell you. But, uh, I don’t want to ruin the surprise.” He flashed a pair of tickets at you and you gasped. “So I guess you’ll have to trust me.”

“My first mistake.” You teased as Aaron started to walk down the stairs. “Oh!”

“Did you forget something?” Hotch turned to face you and you took a step closer to him. 

“This.” You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips, which he gladly returned. You broke apart seconds later, a lovesick look on both of your faces. “Thought I should spare us the awkwardness later.” You walked down the stairs and offered your hand out to Aaron, and he took your hand, lacing your fingers together. “You don’t have the market cornered on surprises, Aaron.” 

“It’s not often I’m left speechless, but I am now.” Aaron’s laughter filled the street and you had discovered your favorite sound, and you wanted to hear it forever. 

------

After that date, Hotch knew he wanted you to meet Jack. And you couldn’t wait to meet him. Needless to say, both of you were nervous about the meeting. Aaron because you were his girlfriend, and Jack was his son. And you knew Jack was the most important person in Aaron’s life, and you wouldn’t want anything to come in between the two of them, so you hoped with all of your being that you and Jack would get along. You both had decided the FBI Triathlon would be the perfect time for you to meet his son. 

------

You were a few feet away from all the commotion as Hotch crossed the finish line, and you were cheering the entire time. You saw a group of people move over towards Hotch once he crossed, and you guessed they were his team, especially when one of the men set down a kid who then ran over to Aaron. Jack, you thought to yourself with a smile. He took a drink from a volunteer, thanking them, before he bent down to Jack’s level and put his medal on the hyper boy, a homemade sign clutched in his hands. Hotch talked to the group for a minute before you called his name. 

“Hotchner!”

“Y/N!” Hotch looked up then looked back at Jack. “Jack, there’s someone I want you to meet, come here.” You met Hotch halfway and tightly embraced him, a big grin on both of your faces. 

“You were amazing, congratulations.” You let go of him after a minute and Hotch stepped back. 

“Thanks. Y/N, I’d like you to meet my son, Jack. Jack, this is my friend, Y/N.”

“Hi.” Jack smiled up at you and you bent down, shaking his hand. 

“Hey there, Jack, it’s nice to meet you.” Your nerves had melted away once you saw Aaron with Jack, and you felt much more at ease. 

“Do you work with my dad, too?”

“No, we’re just friends.” You looked up at Hotch before you knelt to Jack’s level.”Did you make that yourself?” You nodded towards his sign, which he showed off when you mentioned it. 

“Yep! I cut it myself. And put the sparkles on it, too.” 

“You know what? I look at art all day long. And that, my friend, is pretty good.”

“Thank you.” Jack said. 

“You’re welcome!” You stood back up and Aaron spoke. 

“We’re going to get something to eat. Do you want to come?” Aaron asked you and you nodded. 

“Sure.”

“Okay, great.” Hotch led the way, Jack beside him, and you followed as the three of you made your way to his car. And all of you were oblivious to the looks on the faces of the team just a few feet away. 

“Who is that?” Morgan asked.

“Did you know he was seeing someone?” Spencer asked as he watched the pair.

“They’re so cute together.” Garcia cooed.

“Come on, let’s leave them alone.” Rossi ushered the group away and Emily turned to him with a gasp.

“You knew!”

------

Months had flown by since you first met Jack, and you frequented the Hotchner household, each time better than the last. It started off with a dinner here and there on the weekends, or a night where you’d play games or watch a movie until Jack fell asleep- where you’d then spend some time talking quietly with Aaron, your bodies curled into each other’s, before you headed home. Until one night, where he asked you to stay. 

“Stay with me? Uh, with us. You could stay for breakfast before we go to work.” Hotch had asked, and how could you say no to him? That night together, with your head against Aaron’s chest and his arms wrapped around you, you both knew that you wanted many more nights like those. After that, you spent most of your free time with the Hotchners. Building forts with Jack and helping him with homework, cooking dinner with Aaron and doing little things around the house to give him more time with his son.

When Hotch met you, he never imagined that, months later, he would be in a serious relationship with you. But ever since you had entered his life, you had proved yourself to be resilient. And completely unpredictable. That was something Aaron loved about you, he never knew exactly what was running through your mind. Which led him to now.

He’s seen a lot of unexpected things in his life, he worked as a profiler for god’s sake. But the one thing he never expected was to see you, dancing around in the rain with Jack, your phone playing music from its spot on the front porch. Of course it was on the railing, you knew how worried your boyfriend got over you breaking your phone. Again.

“Y/N, please, quit leaning over the railing.” Hotch’s ‘dad voice’ came out in full effect as he saw you leaned over the side of a bridge, your phone in your outstretched arm. Your other hand was holding Jack’s, who was content looking at the fish in the river below the bridge.

“Just a second! I want to get a good picture.” 

“You can get just as good of a picture without dangling.” Aaron tried to reason, but you waved him off. Unfortunately for you, with your wave, you sent your phone flying down into the water below. 

“Oh, sh-oot.” You turned towards Hotch, your eyes narrowed as you pointed at him. “I blame you.”

“Me?!”

Hotch grabbed your phone and set it somewhere safer and shook his head at the sight in front of him. You and Jack were both wearing your rain boots, and you were loudly singing along with the music. Jack tried to protest through his laughter, feigning embarrassment, but you scooped him into your arms as you kept singing. 

“Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit. He took the midnight train going anywhere!” You spun around as you sang the last word, and the sound of Jack’s laughter made Aaron smile. You set Jack down and you continued dancing, cheering when Jack danced around with you. You didn’t see Aaron on the porch until Jack pointed him out. 

“Dad! Come play with us.” 

“Yeah, Aaron, come play.” You pouted at Hotch, but he didn’t miss the teasing glint in your eyes. “Or are you too cool to join us?”

“And miss out on watching you two? Maybe later.” Hotch chuckled as he leaned against the railing of the porch. You shrugged as you turned back to Jack. 

“Bet I can make a bigger splash in that puddle.” You pointed towards a puddle a few feet away, and Jack ran off, accepting your challenge. You winked at Aaron before running after him. You continued to jump around in the puddles in the yard, and you made sure to let Jack win a few rounds of your splash contest. 

You squealed when the song changed to a song Aaron was familiar with, and you looked at him. “Turn it up!” Hotch groaned dramatically but turned the song up as you started dancing and singing.

“Kiss me once cause you know I had a long night. Kiss me twice cause it's gonna be alright. Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life. One, two, one two three four! I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings.” You continued to dance to the music and Aaron couldn’t help but notice how happy you looked. How happy Jack looked. Your connection with him wasn’t forced, you never pushed or tried to put yourself in a situation until you knew Jack and Aaron both were okay with it. Hotch was more nervous than words could explain when it came to you and Jack, but the sight in front of him made his worries melt away. You were dancing, hands up in the air as you twirled around, laughing as you stumbled and nearly fell back into a puddle. Jack was doubled over in laughter and you playfully narrowed your eyes at him. 

“Oh, you think it’s funny, huh?” Once you were steady on your feet, you began to count. “Three… two…” Jack’s eyes widened and he ran to hide behind his dad.

“Base! Can’t get me up here.” Jack peeked out at you and stuck his tongue out, and you mimicked him. “Wait, need a break. Need a snack, then we can keep playing?”

“Of course we can. Take your shoes off at the door.” Aaron said to Jack as he went inside.

Once Jack was inside, you walked over to Aaron, still swaying your hips to the music, until you reached the steps. You then held your hand out and looked up at him. “Come on, you have to come dance. Let loose a little, have some fun.” “I can ‘let loose’ without getting rained on.” Hotch said and you pouted.

“Please? Just one dance. Then I’ll let you continue to be a grumpy old man who’s allergic to fun.” Hotch narrowed his eyes at you, and you smirked, knowing you had him now. 

“Old man, huh? I’ll remember that.”

“I’m sure you’ll remind me tonight.” You climbed up the steps of the porch and grabbed your phone. You scrolled through your music before you found the song you were looking for. “But first,” you pressed play on the song before you took Aaron’s hands, “we dance.” You led Aaron down to his front yard and turned to face him. “You do know how to slow dance, right?”

“Let’s find out.” Hotch pulled you into him as the song played, letting the music lead as you started to dance. The rain drizzled over both of you, but you smiled up at him as you danced.

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall

“I can’t hear this song without thinking of those stupid Twilight movies you showed me.” Hotch chuckled as you danced, his arms warm against your waist and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“They were such a vital part of pop culture for years, they are not stupid.” You scoffed. “You were so into them. If I remember correctly, you gasped at the last movie when you thought Carlisle died.”

“Hmm, can’t say I remember that.” Hotch tried to deny but you saw the smile he tried hard to suppress. 

“I may not be a profiler like you, but I do know when you’re lying.” You rested your head against his chest and let the steady sound of his heartbeat relax you. 

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

“You’re really good with him.” Hotch spoke after a minute and you looked up at him. He had a soft smile on his face and a certain look in his eyes you couldn’t decipher. Love, maybe? You felt your cheeks heat up at the thought, and you shook your head to clear your mind.

“He’s a great kid. He has a pretty awesome dad, too.” Aaron leaned down and pressed a kiss to your head, your wet hair tickling his face. 

“And he has you. He loves you, you know?” You smiled and combed your fingers through his hair. “We both do.” 

“I love him, too.” You leaned up, your lips brushing against Aaron’s as you whispered. “And... I love you.” Hotch closed the gap between you two, and the feeling of his lips against yours still gave you butterflies after all these months you’ve spent together. 

I have died everyday, waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

You pulled apart moments later, a lovesick smile on Aaron’s face and yours. You breathed out a sigh as Aaron brushed your hair out of your face, before he pressed a kiss to your forehead. You closed your eyes, enjoying the peaceful moment before you heard the front door open and close. 

“Daddy, Y/N, I have popsicles!” You and Aaron laughed as you looked at Jack, who held three popsicles in his hand. 

“We’ll be right there, buddy.” Hotch said to Jack before he looked at you again. “Hope you like the blue ones, red is mine.” 

“Blue is the best anyways.” You ran your finger down Hotch’s blue shirt before you took his hand and walked over to the front porch. 

“The team wants to meet you. Properly, at Rossi’s. Jess has already agreed to watch Jack, if you want to go. Dinner on Sunday?” Aaron looked over at you and you looked up at him.

“I’d love to. You’ve told me so much about them, I can’t wait to properly meet them.” You climbed up the porch stairs and took a seat beside Jack, Aaron sitting on the other side of him. “Rossi’s got some big shoes to fill, with our little chef in training here. He made some amazing pancakes with me this morning.” You ruffled Jack’s hair and took the popsicle he held out for you. “Thank you, Jack.”

“I think those were the best pancakes I’ve ever had.” Hotch took the other popsicle from Jack, kissed his head, and thanked him. “Maybe Jack should cook dinner, too.” Jack giggled and shook his head.

“You promised Chinese noodles.” 

“Lo mein.” You corrected him.

“Lo mein.” Jack mimicked before handing his popsicle to you. “Please?” You tore the popsicle wrapper open and handed it back to him. He accepted it with a soft ‘thank you’ and tucked himself into your side.

“You did promise at lunch we could have takeout for dinner. Since Jack ate those disgust- I mean, delicious brussel sprouts without complaining.” You corrected yourself when Hotch’s eyes playfully narrowed at you.

“Y/N didn’t even eat theirs without making faces.” Jack spoke as he bit into his popsicle and you gasped.

“I did not! You’re imagining things, bud.” You patted his head and bit your popsicle. Jack dove into a detailed retelling of lunch, and the sound of your laughter along with Jack’s storytelling filled Aaron’s ears and he couldn’t be happier this was his life.

And all along I believed, I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Taglist: @ssa-sugar-tits​ and @spidey-reids-2003​ ❤ Taglist and requests are OPEN, just send me an ask or a message :) 

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

I Love You (D.D)

Warnings : swearing, mentions of drinking

Plot : David created a montage of his relationship with the reader. Honestly just some real cute fluff.

Word Count : 1667

“Hey, do you mind watching this before I post to see if it makes sense?” David asked, handing me his laptop and pressing play.

           “I love you.” I playfully hit David, telling him to stop. But he shook his head and said it again. I just rolled my eyes and smiled at him. “I love you.” He said for a third time and planted a kiss on my cheek. I just grabbed his face in my hands and stared into his eyes before placing a kiss on his nose. His smile widened. I wanted to tell him in that moment that I loved him too, but I couldn’t.

           “Well if it isn’t an angel coming to grace me with her presence!” He exclaimed as I approached him at his party. “How you doing, beautiful?”

           “I’m doing well.” I smiled, looking up at his smiling face behind the camera. It never bothered me, because he never included these moments in the vlogs, saying he wants them to show our future children how we fell in love. “I was hoping you could watch my drink while I go to the washroom.”

           “I’ve been waiting for this day!” He chuckled, taking my drink with his free hand. I remember Natalie telling me how he put the camera down to better protect my drink seeing as the party got more out of hand than he originally expected, and didn’t want to take any chances, especially when it came to me.

           “Did you want to run some errands with me?” I asked David, giving him my best puppy dog eyes. He jumped up from the couch and draped his arm across my shoulders as we walked to his car. I couldn’t help but giggle at how excited he seemed.

           “I love doing this kind of shit with you.” He said.

           “We’re just picking up some groceries and getting my meds.” I giggled.

           “It feels like we’re a married couple.” He just beamed. We pulled into Target, and he grabbed his camera from the dash and continued to film me as we walked around, grabbing this things I needed. “You know this would look really cute on you.” I braced myself for the worst, but when I turned around, he was holding a really cute sundress.

           “It’s pretty.” I replied as he put it into the cart. “David, you know I can’t splurge like that.” He took a few steps closer, so he was beside me again.

           “Who said you were paying?” I rolled my eyes but didn’t bother to fight knowing there wouldn’t be a point. I looked down to my outfit, realizing I was wearing that exact dress and smiled to myself.

           “Why do you always film me if you don’t use it in the vlogs?” I turned around, walking backwards now, and asked David who was just beaming behind the camera.

           “Because you’re the love of my life. I want to keep these moments forever.” I tripped over my own two feet and David rushed to catch me.

           “What did you say?” I asked after he got me back on my feet. I looked up into eyes, searching for any sign he was kidding.

           “You’re the love of my life.” He repeated, a more serious look on his face. I smiled and looked down to my feet. My heart was racing when he said that. I wanted nothing more than to just kiss him in that moment, but I didn’t.

           “Hey, guess what?!” I said to David as we were driving around, listening to music. He turned the music down and urged me to go on. “I love you.” His eyes went wide as he looked between me and the road, causing me to laugh.

           “What?” He finally said, and I just smirked and shrugged my shoulders. “Oh you’re cruel!” He joked as he wagged his finger at me. I smiled remembering this moment. The moment I decided to stop denying the fact that I was absolutely in love with my best friend.

           “Why don’t you ever prank Y/N?” Zane whined as he was being blindfolded. Everyone else just kind of chuckled.

                   “Because I love her.” He said nonchalantly, quickly looking over at me and smiling. I just rolled my eyes and watched the chaos unfold. It was the first time he admitted his love for me in a vlog, and fans were really surprised, thinking we’d been hiding a relationship from them all this time. David ended up tweeting not dating, just in love with her :) which caused even more of an uproar.

           “One date, Dobrik. Make it count.” I told him after he dropped me off at my apartment. I watched as a smile broke out on his face and he ran back to his car.

           “Y/N just told me I could take her out on a date, and this is my one chance to show her my love for her won’t fade if we start dating.” He spoke into the camera. “And I know exactly how I’m going to do it.” I giggled at the footage I had never seen before.

           “My love.” He said as he held my apartment door open for me. My mouth dropped when I looked around, seeing my living room turned into a fort with fairy lights strung up around it.

           “When did you do this?” I asked, turning to look at him.

           “After you fell asleep in my bed, I snuck out and did all this.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, giving him the biggest hug I could. “Come on! Look inside!” I smiled and crawled into the fort, seeing my favourite snacks and movies lined up. Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked back at David.

           “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” I told him truthfully. My walls had completely crumbled after that night. There was no point in hiding the fact that I would never love anyone like I loved my best friend.

            “So, how was that for a first date?” David asked the next morning as we were cuddled inside the fort.

           “Perfect.” I answered honestly.

           “So doesn’t that mean I get date number 2?” I just nodded. David smiled and placed a small kiss to the top of my head. “God I just love you so much.” He whispered just loud enough for me to hear.

           “I love you too, David.”

           “I’ll never tire of hearing that.” He had stopped recording after that and played me saying I loved him over and over. I told him he could just ask me to say it again if he really loved hearing it that much. He told me he wished he had gotten that on camera which caused me to playfully slap him.

           “The people need to know Y/N!” David exclaimed. I turned away from my conversation with Carly and looked over to David who was dressed up in a suit and tie, holding my favourite flowers and a box of chocolate.                

                           “What do the people need to know, David?” He walked over to where Carly and I were sitting, standing directly in front of me now.

           “Will you be my girlfriend?” I looked to Carly who just nodded, tears in her eyes as well as mine.

           “Yes, David, I will be your girlfriend.” If only the camera could have caught his smile. I’d watch that over and over.

           “Tell the people what’s going on.” David said as we drove to his family’s house.

           “We’re in Vernon Hills. And I’m officially meeting David’s family as his girlfriend instead of his friend.” I smiled and grabbed his hand in mine. “And I look really calm but honestly I’m super nervous!” We pulled up to the house and David just smiled over at me.

           “They already love you, Y/N, don’t worry about it!” He leaned in to give me a quick kiss.

           “I love you.” I whispered to him.

           “I love you so much more.” We got out of the car and went inside the house. His mom greeted both of us, saying it was so nice to see us after all this time. We said our hellos to everyone before David gathered them together in the living room to break the news. “Y/N is my girlfriend.” He told them as he laced our hands together.

           “Oh it’s about damn time!” Ester exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “He’s been obsessed with you since he met you.” She directed towards me and I just giggled. The rest of the family seemed just as happy, which filled me with joy. We spent a week with everyone, and they were just as welcoming and kind to me as the first time, as if nothing changed.

           “Do you think it’s time the fans know it’s official?” David asked, filming the two of us cuddled up on the couch, watching tiktok’s on my phone.

           “David is officially mine!” I replied, leaning up and giving him a quick kiss.

           “I love you.” He chuckled. If we thought the uproar from before was insane, this was utter chaos!

           “We’ve been through a lot together.” David’s face came on screen, ending the montage of our love story. “And I’m happy I was able to show you that I would love you label or no label. When I met you, I knew you would be important to me, I just didn’t know how important until I fell in love with you. We’ve had an amazing 3 years together, and my love for you only continues to grow. So Y/N, will you marry me?” I turned away from the screen, seeing David kneeling on one knee, a velvet box opened in his hand, showing an absolutely beautiful ring. “Well?” I nodded as the tears began to fall. He took the ring from the box and slid it on my finger before pressing a kiss to my lips. “I love you 3000.” I giggled at the reference.

           “I love you 3000.”

[kozumekenza]

Saudade: 8.5 See You Again Pt. 2

Kageyama x Reader Social Media AU

Status: ongoing

TW: swearing, might be some nsfw jokes?

Taglist: open! (send an ask to be added)

masterlist for this smau here!

playlist!

saudade: a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost; “the love that remains”

Y/N Oikawa, Toru Oikawa’s baby sister, manager of the Aoba Johsai Volleyball Club, stand-in libero, spiker, blocker, setter, and Tobio “The King of the Court” Kageyama’s former best friend. After Kageyama replaces your childhood friendship with volleyball, you vow to forget all about him. However, you forget three very important things: 1.) You won’t be able to avoid Kageyama forever 2.) Kageyama wants you back in his life and 3.) Tobio Kageyama will do anything to get what he wants.

Y/n’s texts are in light mode, Kageyama’s are in dark mode!

a/n: not super thrilled with how this part turned out, but whatever 🤷🏻‍♀️ I hope you all are having a wonderful day, thank you for reading💖

You weren’t thrilled about the game today, even though Kio spent hours last night and this morning reassuring you that everything was going to be okay. You opened up more about your failed friendship with Kageyama, even going as far as telling Kio your recent feelings about rekindling your old friendship. Kio, in his blunt way of telling you things, suggesting talking to Kageyama at the game, which you immediately shot down. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to speak to him, you just didn’t know how to. Because really, how do you go up to someone you haven’t talked to in years and suggest becoming friends again, especially after shutting them down? How do you bridge the gap in those years where you didn’t dare speak a word to each other? How do you tell someone that you missed them and were afraid you would never be a part of their life again? How do you even get back into their life to begin with?

It was all too much for you to ponder, especially with today’s game. Toru was being uncharacteristically nice, and Iwa of all people even suggested dinner after the game. You guessed they were worried that this game would be a repeat of the last one, but who the hell knew what was going on in their heads?

You followed Toru into the gym, glad that this game was at least on your home turf. If it really came down to it, you could hide in the club room or even walk home. You were also thankful for the fact that Karasuno wouldn’t be arriving for at least another thirty minutes, giving you time to get settled and ready for the game.

You pulled your phone out, smiling when you saw a text from Kio. You didn’t know when his game was today, but you figured it was earlier this morning, as most Sunday games were early. This game was an exception, as the coaches apparently wanted an afternoon game instead. You typed out a quick reply, mentally noting to ask Kio how his game went later.

Toru came by and scolded you for being on your phone instead of filling water bottles like a “good manager”. You simple rolled your eyes and chucked a ball at him, huffing as you grabbed the bottles. Twenty minutes passed as you finished your pre-game prep, and soon Karasuno arrived. You snuck away to the club room, avoiding giving Kageyama time to catch you before the game. You sent a quick text to Kio, asking how his game went, before Toru found you hiding and dragged you to the gym.

The first set passed quickly, with Karasuno taking it. Toru was starting to get annoyed, and you had to shake him around a bit before the next set began. You checked your phone for a reply from Kio, but saw that there wasn’t one. Weird. He normally replied right away. It had been an hour since your last text. You send a quick “hope you’re having a good day!” before putting your phone away and prepping for the next set.

The second set went to Aoba Johsai, thankfully cheering up Toru a bit. It didn’t last long, however, as Karasuno stole the last one as well. You sighed, knowing this was going to result in another mess for you to clean up. Whenever he lost, Toru always got moody, which meant all your attention was focused on him, to prevent anyone provoking him. This also meant that you were stuck in the gym with the boys, and couldn’t hide in the club room to avoid Kageyama like you originally planned.

You did have to admit that he played incredibly well today, better than last time. He must’ve gotten over your harsh rejection. You glanced his way as you refilled water bottles, seeing him already looking at you. Shit. You quickly returned to your task, cheeks heating. Why did he have to be so cute? Wait. What the fuck. Stop. No. I do not think he’s cute. You shook your head, hoping that might get the thoughts out of your head. You looked back over, but he wasn’t there. Fuck. Was he going to try to talk to you again? You glanced around. Wait, over there. He was with Shoyo, thank god.

Finally, the teams stopped mingling and got ready to leave. Toru was still his moody self, telling Iwa that he didn’t want to go to dinner because he was just so sad. You rolled your eyes at that. Great, now he’s gonna barge into my room, beg for attention, and make me listen to his sad music with him. Hopefully you could get out of his usual five hour “post-loss self-care” routine, but you doubted it.

You began to pack your things, mentally noting that Kageyama hadn’t approached you at all today. You weren’t quite sure how to feel about it. And what was with Kio not responding? You still hadn’t heard from him. You shot him another text before meeting up with Toru to begin the short walk home.

Kageyama and Kio not talking to you? Weird.

8.0 Game Time! Pt. 2 - 8.5 See You Again Pt. 2 - 9.0 Sad Boi Hours

saudade masterlist!

FUN FACTS:

Kageyama wanted to approach y/n, but ultimately decided not to.

Oikawa’s post-loss self-care routine consists of sad music, a bath, face masks, a manicure, movie marathon, making tiktoks, and baking.

Iwa is fed up with Oikawa’s moodiness and bullied him for rescinding his dinner invite.

Kageyama is happy about the win, but not perfectly content because he didn’t get to talk to y/n.

Y/n is worried that Kio is mad at her. (poor bb🥺)

taglist: @immxnty @lucyheartfilias-wife @katsumi-sumi @riceballsandanime @miel-meraki @pandauniverse

if your username is in bold, for some reason I can’t tag you :(

[outropeace]

elotito tagged me on this so i’m gonna do it for her <33333

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted

i began to write in general since i was around 14 like any other emo kid kdjdjsks and o began to write fics when a friend asked me for one as a birthday present. it was written in a hurry and it’s not my favorite but i really enjoyed doing it. i posted that exact same fic on their birthday

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?

it depends the fic i guess. and not really, i think the closest i’ve been to do that is in the rockstar au (coming to the @bottomlouisficfest very soon), i put one or two of my old insecurities in h so he could connect better and wouldn’t be persieved as just an asshole-y dude cause i don’t like that and louis don’t deserve that uwu🌸

3. where do you often find inspiration?

music, movies, tiktoks (DONT JUDGE KDKDKS)

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?

before the quarantine i had around 3 wips, now i have 8

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence?

i listen lofi youtube playlists shjdkld

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?

me repeating “Oh...” over and over again through tall my fics, it shouldn’t be legal

7. describe your ideal writing setup

rainy day, good coffee, comfy sweater, my cat besides me, arely sending texts about teeth/imessage games, snacks

8. favorite time of day to write?

nights (it’s usually when i have time)

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?

i’d LOVE to write a thriller

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?

i just leave the fic for a bit, i don’t really like to push myself about this cause i’m just doing it for fun

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult?

the easiest is the dialogues, i could write pages and pages of just dialogues in hours and the hardest is the smut dhjdd

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable)

it depends, is the antagonist? i ask myself how’d i feel if i were them, like a third party just trying (and usually failing) to get in between

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?

i like “wet” i just... yeah.... and least favorite i don’t really know tbh

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?

i like that people conect with the characters because i always put a lot of effort in making them realistic (as much as i can), i make them flawled and sometimes even messy but with good hearts and intentions, all of them are (even the antagonists). and my grammar OH MY GOD MY GRAMMAR

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?

hands down the ice prince fic. and funny thing is, i already had my prompt for the fic fest but i just couldn’t stop thinking about one particular prompt about a bratty prince and an alpha who hated omegas and the amount of POSSIBILITIES that had. two days later or so, the mods of the fest gave us the opportunity to pick another prompt if we wanted and the rest is HISTORY

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?

11 and single

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?

baby do we have TIME FOR THIS ONE?

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?

yes, always 100000000%

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?

angst, sadness, anguish, sorrow, jealousy, i love to hurt hearts. and it’s not an emotion but after they get together it’s really difficult to me to actually keep going (oh god dkdkdkkdd)

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?

that that’s okay to fuck up, that no matter the circumstances you have to respect your partner and TALK WITH THEM and that a person can be successful, independent and a badass while being soft and a c*mslut

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?

i think “write whatever you like, you’re not being paid for it anyways” is the best and only advise i’ve actually listened to

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?

it’s complicated cause my two favorites are abos and idk how that would work dkskkss but the ice prince and the alpha/alpha fic

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?

chronologically but i have a document apart where i write everything that comes to my mind at the moment, that one is A MESS

24. how do you handle criticism?

i think good, if it’s respectful

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?

trust yourself, have fun

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?

ANY type of positive feedback makes my day tbh

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?

none tbh dkdkks and louis, obviously

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?

about my stories, i love when people just come to rant to me about certain things the characters did and ask me why they did it

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?

it relaxes me a lot. i just can write for hours and hours and it just feels nice and in some way exciting

30. why do you write?

refer to question 29 kdkdkxk

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote

from the exes to lovers au:

The second hiccup of the night came in the form of his ex smiling to a boy sitting next to him on a couch. The boy had gorgeous, dark and wild hair, clear hazel eyes and a pretty pouty mouth. Their body language screamed attraction and that they both were ready to devour each other. Louis was familiar to the smile Harry was giving to him, bright and seductive, ready to give anything you asked for.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about

right now i’m very excited for the happiest season au, my “cliche story” au and for my exes to lovers au dksks i’m excited about a lot of my wips i’m so sorryjdjd

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of

from the alpha/alpha au:

“I’m not giving up on love,” He softly touched the hand that was still grabbing his thigh. “To me, love is like flowers. Each one needs a special treatment, if you give an orchid the same treatment you give to an iris, the orchid will die. Same thing with love. I’m not giving up on love, I’m just changing the treatment. We might not be an orchid, but we could make such a pretty iris.”

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s)

favorite first line from the sugar baby au:

Powerful people only end up with powerful people. The rest are just playthings in their lives. Louis Tomlinson was many things, but he wasn’t anybody’s plaything.

favorite last line from the ice prince fic:

“Who would have guessed…” Harry whispered after a while, smiling against Louis’ lips. “the dragon finally got to keep the princess.”

5a. link the last fic you read

HAYLEY’S MASTERPIECE

6a. link the last work you published

that’d be the ice prince fic

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable)

hereee

8a. someone that inspires you

louis teheeee

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year

god, again, there’s so so many of them, like the amount of authors i’m so grateful for, the list is infinite but these are a few that comes to my mind

all elote’s (@defencelesst) fics makes me really really happy and never fails to give me a cozy/wintery feeling, her louis IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING ON EARTH AND HER HARRY IS JUST PERFECTION, i’m in love with her descriptions and how she just takes you THERE. hanis @loulicate-recs always makes me smile so fucking hard. ris @falsegoodnight fics NOW.... well.... ris fics they make me smile but also make me want to throw my phone to the other side of the room BEST OF BOTH WORLD IG. MAR’S FICS (loubellies on twitter, idk their @ here i’m sORRY) ARE LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS AT THE MOMENT, such a pretty louis IM SO IN LOVE WITH MAR’S LOUIS ITS UNFAIR

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag!

omg i’m probably so late to this and idk how many of you have actually done this so here goes nothing @allwaswell16, @runaway-train-works, @greenfeelings, @kingsofeverything, @thepolourryexpress, @larents

[alisinchainmail]

More from the crossover fanfic no one asked for but everyone's getting...

Kylo + Quinn: The Last Harlequin: Ch. 1.2

[Gif sources: Part 1, Part 2]

Writers' favorite excerpt from Kylo + Quinn Chapter 1.2 of The Last Harlequin:

He exhales sharply through his nose and straightens. "My Knights of Ren detected you in our no fly zone. You didn't respond to our warnings we sent, so we mistook you for a threat."

She rolls her eyes, annoyed at the jab. "I guess I'm going to have to forgive you and your little Space Knights of Ni for not knowing who I am..." She does a flashy roundoff back handspring and flips over him so she's between him and her bat. "Harley Quinn, nice to meet ya." She extends her now uncuffed hand to the dark knight.

Overcompensating with stillness to hide that he's impressed with the stunt from an Earth girl, he looks down his nose at her hand. "Kylo Ren," he says quietly, giving her the decency of a reply. 

Harley withdraws her hand, slightly offended he still doesn't seem to have heard of her, "Never heard of me? The Cupid of Crime? The Maiden of Mischief? Princess... of Darkness." She trails off on that last one, unsure if she recently lost that title. "Formerly..." she corrects it quickly.

Kylo plays her game, "Leader of the Knights of Ren, Champion of the First Order, and Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke." He takes a step towards her, towering over her. She tilts her head acknowledging she has no idea what any of that really means, either.

"You're not part of the Resistance," he states more than asks. "However, the vehicle you stole has connections to the Rebellion. How?"

Clearly there's a lot of space politics that is not public knowledge on Earth. Why would Bruce Wayne be involved in space wars? He's probably friends with that Elon Muskrat. He's pretty sus with all that Space X shit.

She responds innocently, "Look, I just saw the thing in some local billionaire's driveway, and thought, 'Why not go for a joy ride?'" Kylo steps closer studying her expressions. Harley squints, "What?!" 

Kylo shakes his head, "The Empire has no use for you then. We'll decide what to do with you, or what remains of you, when we're done searching the vehicle."

Harley squints at him, gathering a pretty clear psychological profile from that golden threat of a response, his list of self-important titles, and his demeanor. It all screams of daddy issues.

If he wanted to kill her, he would've done it already. Is he her enemy or a potential new ally? How far can she push this guy before she finds out the hard way? 

She smirks and fires off, "So...you're building a crown-rule empire because daddy kicked you out. And you think this is a big fuck you, but in actuality it's a very misguided attempt to win back his respect." Kylo grips his helmet, and narrows his eyes at her.

Harley slowly steps back towards her bat, she looks at his mask grinning, "Daddy wanted a son, so now he has to hide behind a mask...I get it!" Kylo slams his helmet down on a sidetable next to him. This was too easy!

Harley continues, "Awh it's ok! I bet your mom still loves you. Mom's usually do... if they have the time to notice you through your desperate attention-seeking behavior." He looks in shock. 

She's really hitting a nerve with this guy. How is he so easy to read? "Or maybe you're trying to destroy the very thing that distracted her from you in the first place. Classic only child syndrome. She's part of this rebellion thing isn't she? Gotta love a rebel girl." Kylo lurches at her.

Harley lunges for the bat, but Kylo quickly raises his hand at it, sending it flying across the room. Harley looks at her empty hand, then across the room where it landed. What is he? Some sort of space wizard?

Harley shakes off her confusion, "Won't let me play with your toys? What would I expect from an only child with deep-seated father issues?"

Kylo yells, "Stop...TALKING," as he grabs at Harley. She dodges. Time to go all in.

"Tell me, what did dear old dad do to you? Or was it someone else? Got an uncle who paid some unnecessary visits to your bedside when mommy and daddy were away?"

Kylo clenches his fist and rolls his eyes. That was a hit. Harley taunts, "Awwhhh did I sink your battleship?"

"ENOUGH," he roars, grabbing a handle from his hilt and firing out a massive red flaming greatsword.

Harley stares at the new weapon in disbelief. "Come on! Lazer swords?! At least let me use my dinky baseball bat. I'm Little League compared to that!"

Co-Writer's (Brian) Notes:

I love this as an introduction to their relationship. Harley always has to get the last word in and Kylo is always struggling to keep his composure. Both their characteristics make them butt heads, and also is why they work.

They’re always gonna have a back forth with their personalities. A yin and yang basically where he’ll constantly try and stay level and she’ll try to trip him up.

Writer's (Alisin) Notes:

I like this part of the scene for their chaotic, impulsive energy playing off each other in different ways. Also for her first exposure to the world of Star Wars, which her inexperience with the world helps me get away with the fact I still haven't seen all of the Star Wars franchise yet and am newer to the fandom. We're sort of figuring out the world together.

I wanted them to be fairly evenly matched, which — much like with Rey— is Kylo's first experience with someone on equal ground like that, so it throws him off at first.

Harley is skilled with getting in people's heads from a psychoanalytical standpoint, whereas Kylo uses more of a brute force approach later in the scene. Luke criticized the way the Knights of Ren use the dark side of the force as being unskilled "like a hammer". I bring that characterization into Kylo.

Kylo wields his emotions and fighting style with a lot of intensity rather than precision and agility. In spite of his bloodline making him a more powerful force wielder, he can be quite clumsy with it. As though his power is greater than himself and the conflict he carries disrupts his clarity in his actions, while also fueling the power of the dark side through his raw emotion.

With Harley, I like to keep her dancing in between both, since as a character she is more morally gray.

Her weapons of choice are sometimes literal hammers but her fighting style and wit can be very fluid and agile, similar to the fighting styles of those who utilize the light side of the force. Her actions are impulsive, but not clouded in self-judgements. Without the Joker's influence, she knows herself well enough to have some faith that her impulses are in alignment with her fluid morality.

And to bring it all back ti Brian's point:

Kylo is brute force like Harley’s weapon and she’s skilled and precise like a sword, his weapon. Neither will admit it but both could run into situations where the others methods work better. Harley has been forced to be chaotic in her approach for so long she’s sort of rebelling against it in her style. Kylo has been wielding the force like a hammer for so long that everything looks like a nail. This further adds to their yin and yang relationship dynamic and how they’ll be able to survive by adapting the others' strengths when they need them.

[GIF Source: Part 1, Part 2]

Check out the full chapter on Wattpad: The Last Harlequin. For mature audiences only.

Kylo and Harley's first meeting was originally going to be more simple, but then it just took a life of its own. This whole chapter was originally 4 parts for the Tiktok series, and now it's pushing 16 on Wattpad...and I'm still not done writing it. I have a drug trip scene in the works where they take an intense hallucinogen called Jabbawaska. Yes, this is how ridiculous the Wattpad gets. They're fun characters to write for and it's interesting to see how they bring new characteristics out of each other.

Episodes are currently being posted daily on Tiktok: @KyloQuinnCrossover. Chapter 1 exists in full on YouTube.

Part 1: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePNHnKH/

Part 2: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePNAJAE/

Part 3: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePNGWTx/

Part 4: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePNGwEn/

Ch.1.10 WP Promo: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePN4pAy/

Ch.1.11 WP Promo: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePNPmUS/

Ch.1.12 WP Promo: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMePNsnY7/

[belladonnamythics]

A couple people brought this lovely letter from Alto to my attention. And I’m going to include a screenshot cuz, yeah. I’m sure I’m right. 

So I’ll take this bit by bit. You found Sneaky attractive? Show me where you said that

I showed the conversation in it’s entirety. I stopped responding to you. I fail to see where you mentioned how attractive he is. Did you delete the message but forget to delete the transphobia? Weird. 

Nix did not delete his tiktok months ago. The photos that I posted were taken the same night they were posted. The next day, magically, Nix no longer followed you.

But you still followed Nix

Yesterday, suddenly, and I’m sure this is just a coincidence, but Nixs account vanished.  When it was pointed out that there were other minors following you, you suddenly went down to 28 followers. Whack

Your account being labelled 18+ is irrelevant. You know how RWF had/has adult channels? Do you just mark them sfw and hope the minors don’t go in there? No. You are the adult responsible for making sure there’s no minors in there. You had 33 followers. It’s not that hard to check ages. If you choose to put 18+ content out there, then you need to act responsibly with it.(Worth noting, if you view my original post, I never said there were kids moaning on his tiktok. No idea where that came from, if it was ever actually said)

Weird that this was Nix’s response and not “I deleted my tiktok months ago.” You can support your friend without following their 18+ account. And since they “panic scrolled away” they obviously still had the account after you were posting 18+ content.

I haven’t omitted anything about my history. In fact, I posted the conversation for all to see. The conversation was almost a year old. The Rowling thing, six months old. The conversation in September is the most recent aspect and you’re choosing to ignore it because it doesn’t fit your narrative. If you truly believed I was a terf, then Ava needs to answer for knowingly having a terf admin for seven months, until I stepped down on my own, and left the server on my own, as I showed in previous posts. Why was Ava able to overlook my apparently being a terf? Does she not care about the safety of her members? Because it seems that when she had a choice in February, she chose a terf over her trans members. (But we all know she never actually believed it, she’s just desperate to discredit me. That’s why she’s only showing one tiny ss). I have not deleted anything. Do show the conversation in our dms where Ava is talking to herself, as that must exist if I did, in fact, remove everything. Everything is still there. I chose not to delete anything, even after asking Ava if she wanted me to, because I didn’t want to try and tuck something bad that I did under the rug. I’ve made mistakes. I admitted it in a public post for all to see, and I apologized to Ava more than once in September. I have done shitty things, but I am making an effort to be better. The stance I tentatively had a year ago could not be further from the stance I have now. Both of you know that. 

25 dating a 17 year old? When? I’m not 25 now, for one. But ok. The only person I can imagine you’re referring to is Celtic Daughter. I never dated her. And all interactions that involved flirting, which was heavily one-sided from her anyway, occurred after she turned 18. I can actually definitively prove this because of the articles written about her because of obstacles in her life that she’s overcome that were newsworthy. I’m not sharing those because I’m not going to dox her, but Ava has seen them. Ava knows all of this. She certainly had no problem cussing Celtic Daughter out, infiltrating her server, and eventually raiding it and utterly destroying it. I have never dated a 17 year old. That just never happened. I’m not surprised that I’m yet another person you’ve accused of being a pedophile. Seems to be your favorite accusation to hand out. 

The last part is just stupid. Everyone loves you and Ava? lmao ok. That’s why you and Ava go through friends like crazy, right? That you’re chalking this up to my jealousy is hilarious. Ava has nothing for me to be jealous of. She has a bigger server, that’s mismanaged and an absolute mess. As for being more successful on every platform? Depends on your definition of success I guess. I don’t know how you measure success, but I personally would consider my having more followers on every other social media more successful than Ava. But whatever. I’m very proud of my accounts, big or small, and the content I’ve worked hard on. 

I love all the wonderfully nasty things you said, they really highlight how you’re such a good person, and how wild it is that there’s ever been a complaint against you. 

I will address the tiktok views thing, as I saw Ava mention elsewhere that I followed you and liked your videos/your voice. I did. I am an adult. That’s not as much of a “gotcha” as you think. You very obviously missed the point of the original issue. 

[meow-nepeta]

lets start w music i started listening to rather recently:

when i rule the world

go hard

rät

cigarette ahegao

lemon demon

p4rkr

100 gecs

my ordinary life (very great, prefer slowed version)

in general (slowed + reverb) versions are great

uhh lemme check my yt playlist

this one: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtysDHCdSafV7YjRTrhp5tTD3V7oEdGps

stan but its only dido slowed w reverb

in my mouth

the tender surrender eat babies

i want the laugh cry emoji on my tombstone

blow my brains out tikkle me

sex w a ghost

nowhere to run

artists:

(no particular order) mc virgins, lil darkie, ic3peak, ghostemane, scarlxrd, takayagan, outerspass, freddie dredd, night lovell, shotgun willy, yung craka, corpse, haarper, gemini aaliyah, boburnham, afourteen, makaveligodd, this would be so much easier if i had good memory, elijah who, lilac boy, j^p^n, bbno$, nascar aloe, yung bae, osean world (makes more cool things beyond music), i guess jump man 93, honestly i always just find a few new artists of a specific genre i really like and listen to those constantly and forget about all other music until this cycle begins anew, itsokaytocry, bones, derek pope, deko, original god, grandson, sixthells, x, bvdlvd, cigarettes after sex, dasu, xanikin skywok, convolk, swerzie, slen,

songs:

st.bernard, old yeller, killing me softly by roberta flack (yes i read ks), gasolina, death of a demon, angel down, berserk (this song got me into the berserk fandom), the good the bad the fake, like this post if you're still reading, lost cause, world$tar money, cradles nightcore, i write sins not tragedies, blah blah blah, omae wa mou, eternal youth, chop suey, go fuck yourself - two feet, komm susser tod, everybody gets high, you can be king again, bad guy by alex terrible, little big, smog dancin evolved, snowcones, what you gonna do about it, die a king, suicidal thoughts, im barely on this earth, when its all gone, lover is a day, mistake, gangsters paradise, all girls are the same, laudy daudy, absolute in doubt, drank & drugs, theres no point to this since i could just have posted my playlist and u can look at that, whatever this is: https://youtu.be/GtWCtIIsfeg, caramelldansen,

tiktok rant:

when i saw "dont let tiktok find this" comments i used to think who gives a fuck, but then i saw one(1) tiktok of a song i liked and lemme telp u i was filled with WRATH, better stay away from any music related tiktok content

i guess thats all (for now(maybe))

tell me whether you agree with my music taste (but only if you do)

i wish i could go on a rant about every artist and song but im bad at putting feelings to words so just listen to it ok?

[jellyandsamshenanigans]

Heya! This is one of the people who usually stayed on anon. I know it’s been a while, I hope you’ve been doing better, even with all the chaos that is 2020, and I hope lil Sams doing alright too in his new home!

Hey! It has been a while... and I promise there is a reason for that.

Short answer: Im in a better place and a lot happier now.

Longer answer: Originally this all started as a fun lil post and then people became interested and started asking questions and asking for updates.

When I started this blog I was in a really rough place, even if I didnt realize it at the time. And its in hindsight that I realize that this was my method of trying to cope. It was all definately fun and it helped to pass the days by. But thats what my life had turned into- Just waiting for the day to be over so I could go back to bed and sleep.

When I moved from the first place you guys saw, I went back home and it all got worse. My mental health was in the gutter and I basically isolated myself into my room. I was miserable.

So I stopped. A lot of things.

Finally I stood up and demanded change in my life.

Im in a new place again and have been working/ living here for the past few months- and already I feel so much happier than I have since graduating highschool. I feel a bit like myself again and dont constantly have a stormcloud above my head.

"So... what now?" I bet you guys are wondering... and I guess now is as good of a time as any.

I'm officially going to close this blog. Im not gonna delete anything but Im just going to.. leave it here. I dont really need it anymore and I think we've all had our fun with it. ^^

I still have Sam and all his lil props that I've made and collected for him over our time together. And I still use Sam himself for some of my Tiktok cosplay videos (@/jellyfishdoodler if yall are interested-) and other photos! He's still here, but mostly chilling on my shelf with my other plushies.

I want to thank you guys. For supporting our shenanigans and myself the whole way through. But if theres anything to take away from this I guess is just... remember to have fun. Theres so much going on all the time in the world and people forget to just.. enjoy themselves and the things they are able to create. Either birthing it from a dark place in your life or raising it in your happiest moments. Allow yourself to smile and laugh at the little things that make you happy, and dont let anybody take that away from you. Things will get better, but sometimes you have to stand up and make the change for yourself.

Thank you so much for being here and I hope that this blog was able to make you smile at least a little bit. Remember to love yourselves and each other.

Goodbye. 💚

Tumblrs: @jellyfishdoodler @jellyfishdooter

Instas: jellyfishdoodlerart, jellyfishdoodlercosplay

Tiktok: jellyfishdoodler

[shirlleycoyle]

Why This Teen Walked Away From Millions of TikTok Followers

This is part of a special series, The Future of Fame Is the Fan, which dissects how celebrity became so slippery. It’s also in the latest VICE magazine. Subscribe here. 

Sixteen-year-old Ava Rose Beaune was hanging out at a friend’s house on an otherwise unremarkable mid-July afternoon when her cell service briefly shut off. She tried to text her dad, but it wouldn’t send—definitely odd, she thought, but not alarming.

Then people started messaging her: Did you see what’s on your Twitter? Your Instagram? What’s going on? She logged on to her social media accounts and saw that her new Facebook status alluded to suicide—but she hadn’t posted it.

“My whole family thought I was going to kill myself,” Ava said.

Suddenly, a man she’d never met was calling her parents, demanding to speak to her. He had control of all her contacts, texts, emails, and social media accounts. The next day, he texted her: I just want to talk to you. (Spoken and written quotes from Ava’s alleged stalker are italicized to indicate they are not necessarily direct quotes but are as she remembers them.) He called her, and she answered, begging him to do whatever he wanted to her Instagram account, if that’s what he was after. “Delete it. Delete it and leave me alone if that’s what you want,” she told him. You don’t want that, he said. “I do,” she replied. I just want to meet up with you and have sex with you, he said.

“That’s when I hung up the phone, and I was like, this is getting weird,” Ava told me. This stranger had managed to hack her accounts using a method called SIM swapping, in which he contacted her wireless service carrier and convinced them that he owned the account and needed them to transfer access to the SIM card to the phone in his hand—effectively taking over her digital life.

In screenshots viewed by VICE, the hacker can be seen posting a Story to her Instagram about being Ava’s new boyfriend, issuing rape threats, and writing things like “I can’t wait til I impregnate you and marry you. you only live 5 MIN away from me.” She got her social media accounts back in her own possession and resolved the problem with her carrier. “OK, this is, you know, the end, whatever,” she recalled thinking.

With more than 2 million followers on TikTok, Ava was a minor celebrity in her own circles. So, she said, she was used to men being creepy, or even hostile. This was extreme, she thought, but it was over.

But it wasn’t. This was only the beginning of weeks of daily harassment so severe it would uproot her life entirely.

As of this year, TikTok likely has more than 1 billion monthly active users, and the market research firm Statista estimates that adolescents between 10 and 19 years old make up 32.5 percent of those users. The spiritual successor to Vine, TikTok is a micro-video sharing platform that favors an off-the-cuff, do-it-yourself style: People of all ages lip-sync to movie clips and songs, mimic elaborate dances in their living rooms, and use filters to edit the 60-second videos into tiny works of art. It’s also something of a fame lottery.

All this manic, frenetic energy combined with massive audiences is addictive in the same way any social media platform is: with casino-style scrolling and a notification system and the looming chance at virality. Normal teens like Ava—who signed with a talent agency in January 2020—become voracious consumers as well as unstoppable creators, hoping to strike it big, get discovered, or at the very least, make it to the For You feed, where one video plucked by some mysterious algorithm from a user’s feed can get in front of millions of eyeballs instantly.

“I’d rather not give those people the satisfaction of being noticed.”

Despite all this, cyberbullying experts say that TikTok isn’t the worst social media app for harassment. “The way that TikTok is built reduces the likelihood of cyberbullying when compared to other apps,” said Sameer Hinduja, the co-director of the Cyberbullying Research Center. Features like direct messaging that only allow mutual followers to contact each other, and the inability to add images or videos to comment sections, set it apart from other apps. “To be sure, cyberbullying can manifest itself in hurtful TikTok videos directed towards others, as well as in comments and in livestream chats—but these possibilities are no different than on any other social media app,” Hinduja told me.

According to TikTok’s transparency report from 2020, 2.5 percent of videos the platform removed were for bullying or harassment. But there are some features unique to TikTok that make it prone to a different, more personal kind of harassment. “Duet” allows other users to repost your video with a split-screen video of their own. Most of the time, it’s used innocently, for singalongs or miniature skits. But some users say it opens a portal for disturbing abuse. In 2018, BuzzFeed News reported that people—often young children—would duet their videos with a video of them acting out suicide, putting plastic bags over their heads or belts around their necks, to show their disgust at the original post. And a Duet from a more popular account can send a wave of attention from their followers to your page, not all of it positive.

Nick, who runs a TikTok account with his five-year-old daughter Sienna (the family goes by their first names publicly, to protect their privacy), told me that they experience Duet-based harassment on top of the usual comment section cruelty. “Some users would duet our videos and say mean, nasty things that were just not true,” he said. “In the beginning, it made us second-guess the path we were going down.”

It hasn’t stopped since they started the account, in October of 2018—and they’ve since gathered more than 14 million followers. But they have gotten better at managing it, Nick said. “Sienna is luckily very intelligent and knows that this is not OK. I made sure to sit down with her, emphasizing how special she is and that people may not see that right away.”

Nick believes TikTok does a good job of handling harassment, and giving creators the tools to handle it themselves. “If there is consistent harassment from a specific account, I block and delete their hateful comments,” he said. “For the negative comments in general, I tend to just ignore them. I’d rather not give those people the satisfaction of being noticed.”

TikTok does allow users to opt out of Duets. But these are the features that foster that slingshot fame; opting out of them means opting out of your chance at going viral or just growing your audience.

Fatima and Munera Fahiye, who are sisters and TikTok creators with around 3 million followers each, told me that they also find the platform to be responsive when they need support. “There were multiple accounts on TikTok impersonating me on the app, and TikTok helped me by verifying my account to let people know that my account is the real one,” Munera said.

Whatever harassment they do receive—which often means racist comments—they say is outweighed by the support of fans. “I have been on TikTok for a year now, and I have not experienced any harassment, but after gaining some followers I have seen some mean comments about my hijab every now and then, but I try to not give it any attention, because the love and support that I am getting from my fans is more than the little hate, so it does not matter,” Fatima said.

The harassment that happens on TikTok doesn’t stay there, however. On Reddit, whole communities are devoted to catching women and girls on social media in the middle of wardrobe slips, where you can see down their shirts, up their skirts, or anytime they shift and move and reveal a glimpse of more skin. Standalone websites are made for this purpose, too, and for doxxing and harassing women who might have a TikTok in addition to an OnlyFans or other separate adult platform.

In 2020, a server on the gaming chat platform Discord took requests for TikTok creators to be made into deepfakes—AI-generated fake porn. Although child pornography is against Discord’s terms of use, even in the form of deepfakes, one of the most requested targets was only 17. A request for another deepfake noted, “by the way she turns 18 in 4 days.”

Creators also find their content, clothed as in the originals or deepfaked, reposted to porn sites. In concert, the people on each of these platforms work together to create an overwhelming environment of virtual assault for many young women.

Until TikTok, Ava had never really been into social media, she told me on a Zoom call in her parents’ house. She was taking a break from high school distance learning; this was her senior year, spent over video chats because of the COVID-19 pandemic. “I always told myself I’d never make a TikTok because my friends all had it and I was like, that’s so cringe,” she said. “Like, I’ll never start that. But they were like, ‘Come on make one,’ so I did.”

She said she made her first account when she was 15, and posted the usual stuff: trend dances, makeup videos. Within a few days, her audience went from the friends who talked her into joining to 150,000 followers—a leap in popularity that she still doesn’t entirely understand. The sudden attention startled her; she deactivated the account.

She accidentally reactivated the account later, and at this point, having gotten over the initial shock of attention, decided to give it another try.

A rock smashed through her mom’s car window with a threatening note tied to it: I want to take you and impregnate you.

Once Ava started posting new videos, the hateful comments started. “I thought that was like the worst it could get,” she said. “It was like, body shaming and hate—the body shaming especially never bothered me, and the normal hate comments were just like, whatever.” A few users created accounts to post rape threats about her, and this did disturb her, but she took it as par for the course as a young woman online.

That is, until one of her followers started stalking her and her best friend, Gabriel. That follower messaged Gabriel, mentioning her home address and demanding to know who she was dating. “So, we’re both kind of like laughing like this guy’s obviously just some weird fan,” she recalled.

I have something planned for Ava. You’ll see in the next three months. I’m planning something big, Ava says he told Gabriel. He hacked her phone three months later, on Gabriel’s 18th birthday. After that, the man texted Ava every day.

“It was stuff about how he wants to rape me, how he’s going to get me, how I can easily stop this—he was texting my dad saying, She’s not allowed to hang out with her friends, if she goes out I’ll know. Saying he’s watching over us and stuff like that.” Every time Ava thought the situation was as bad as it could get—that this man she’d never met was going as far as he could go—he went further.

Then a rock smashed through her mom’s car window with a threatening note tied to it: I want to take you and impregnate you.

Cyberbullying has proven long-lasting effects on teens and young adults. As Hinduja noted, studies show that it’s tied to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, family problems, academic difficulties, delinquency, school violence, and suicidal thoughts and attempts.

“So at this point I was like, ‘OK, this is getting a little serious.’”

“Most important to me is how negative experiences online unnecessarily compromise the healthy flourishing of our youth at school,” he said. According to his and his co-director Justin Patchin’s research at the Cyberbullying Research Center, over 60 percent of students who experienced cyberbullying reported that it “deeply affected” their ability to learn and feel safe while at school, and 10 percent of students surveyed said they’ve skipped school at least once this past year because of it.

“That cannot be happening,” Hinduja said.

“In general, I hope people will remember that everyone is a human being just like them. We are all capable of feeling hurt and disappointment, and just because there are numbers and a platform attached to our lives doesn’t mean we are impervious to hurtful words or harassing comments,” Nick said. “TikTok is a space where everyone should feel safe to express their creativity, and in order to do that we need to be kind to others.”

Maxwell Mitcheson, Ava’s agent and the head of talent at TalentX Entertainment, told me that he’s seen harassment take a direct toll on young people. “A lot of creators are growing up in front of millions of people, and that involves making mistakes and learning and growing from them,” he said. “The hateful rhetoric definitely weighs on them; some don’t even look at their comments section anymore just to try and stay positive.”

“It’s the inability to make mistakes, being attacked for being authentically yourself, and the sudden lack of anonymity,” Mitcheson said.

Ava’s experience was on the extreme side, he explained, but creators at his agency have had instances of hacking and stalking, or fans randomly showing up at creators’ homes. “We’ve had to involve security and PIs before, but Ava’s was a situation that could have ended in tragedy if it weren’t for the Toronto police intervening.”

After the window-breaking threat, Ava said the police told her that she couldn’t stay at home. She went to stay at a friend’s house, but he still reached her there, she said. “He just kept going saying like, look at what you’ve done, this is all your fault,” she said. He sent her a private message that would delete after it was opened, so she recorded it using a friend’s phone:

I need you to accept the fact that I’m extorting you right now, you need to accept that this isn’t going to end no one’s gonna catch me, the police haven’t ever caught me when I did this before, accept it, give me what I want, I want you to meet up at this park right behind your house I want to do this this this this to you

if you don’t I will kill your parents in front of you in your living room and take you.

“So at this point I was like, ‘OK, this is getting a little serious,’” she told me.

She said she sent the message to the police, who told her whole family to stay somewhere else, hours away. They did, for two weeks. He kept texting her: are you going to be there Saturday you’re making the wrong decision you better answer me.

Eventually, Ava recalled, he was caught. He left the VPN he was using to mask his location off for a half a second, according to her—just long enough, she remembers the police telling her, for the investigators to capture his location data and pinpoint where he was texting her from.

Ava said that the police told her that when he was caught, they found six separate phones and a bunch of SIM cards in his possession—full of pictures and videos of Ava that he’d taken from her accounts. According to the Toronto area detective Ava and her family worked with, the case is still in the courts.

Talking to me now, over Zoom, in between classes and facing midterms, Ava seems fine. She’s able to recount this story in delicate detail, without flinching. She understands the gravity of what happened to her, and how it upended her life. Her family decided to move away, “to the middle of nowhere, pretty much,” she said.

But she is different now. She stopped posting to her TikTok to focus on her friendships and family, though she still posts sporadically on Instagram. She would like to be more active on social media, but she’s not pushing herself. She has anxiety that she describes as “really bad.”

“It’s really affected me, like, you know, just like not being able to live in your own home, and like, even when you are at home, not being safe… It’s really hard, especially when I was only 16 when this happened,” she said. “It is hard, and knowing that my parents were always stressed out and not being able to go outside and walk without feeling kind of scared…”

Before she stopped posting new TikTok videos, she tried to open up on the platform in videos about her mental health and her experiences. But people weren’t receptive to it.

“Especially when they’re like, Oh, a TikTok girl that all the simps love, or What are you complaining about, all these boys love you, kind of thing,” she told me. “I’ve been trying to go to therapy and trying to get over it, but when that kind of thing happens you’re not really the same afterwards. You have a different outlook on social media. You’re kind of scared of if it’s going to happen again. You don’t think those people exist until it happens to you, and then you’re like, wow, this is crazy.”

Online harassment has a silencing effect on people of all ages and genders, but women have it especially bad—and young women are pushed offline, out of the center of conversations and control of their own narrative, at earlier and earlier ages. As adolescents, harassment online makes them do worse in school, seek riskier behaviors, and contemplate or even attempt and follow through on self-harm and suicide. As grown women, this looks like anxiety, a lack of self-confidence, not sleeping, and stepping out of the online conversation altogether to protect their own mental health, and, in severe cases, the safety of themselves and their loved ones. When harassment is allowed to carry on, and women are shamed for seeking help, the damage digs deeper—and we lose those voices.

I asked Ava what she wishes more people understood—about her, about what it’s like to have a big social media following, about how it feels to have millions of eyes on you at such a young age. “I just wish they knew that just because you have followers, doesn’t mean you have this perfect life,” she said. “Just because boys love you, that doesn’t complete your life. When these kinds of things happen, you should be able to be open about it.”

Follow Samantha Cole on Twitter.

Why This Teen Walked Away From Millions of TikTok Followers syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/