#I only have 1 sister so it doesn’t exactly compare but I love imagining the three of them in sibling dynamics

[bumblebeehug]

Natsu, Erza and Gray's sibling dynamic makes me so emotional honestly they're so siblings

IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY😭😭😭😭 I LOVE THEM I can just imagine the three of them having their “fights” but they all know it’s all good between them, and Makarov coming between them like “NO don’t fight!!!😨😨😨 STOP IT. BE FRIENDS.” And they all exchanges glances bc for once they were all being friendly. Like, during real fight Makarov barely notices, but this fun banter? He cries.

[sconnie-doesnt-know]

So Wrong

Characters: Lee Bodecker, Reader, Jane Bodecker, assorted OCs, also gonna go ahead and say Lee is kinda soft/dark in this one

Word Count: 8000

Warnings: Infidelity, alcohol usage, smoking, somewhat dub-con sexual stuff, but not really

Summary: The Reader is a young single mother and widow new to the town of Meade. She gets drawn into a social circle that includes the Sheriff’s wife, while also being drawn to the Sheriff himself.

A/n: I truly don’t know where this came from or why I wrote it. I watched TDATT and suddenly this whole thing just popped into my head complete with a Patsy Cline soundtrack. There’s infidelity on Lee’s part, and his wife is terrible, and these are fictional characters so I am trying to not feel guilty for making that happen. 

There’s more to this story, probably extending into 1 or 2 more parts. I don’t know what to say for myself, I cannot pwp. Feedback and constructive criticism are welcome. Not beta-read, so please let me know if there’s an error. 

Hope you enjoy!

Meade is as good a place as any to settle. Surrounded by wilderness and small towns, it’s quiet, far from anyplace and anyone you know. A welcome adventure and a place to dispose of your grief, finally - hopefully. 

You pull up on a quiet street and sit there just a moment to breathe, to look at the life you had that is settled in between the few boxes and suitcases of belongings, the folded up flag, and the little boy you buckled into the seat.

Through a tangled web of connections, you are able to rent a little upper duplex apartment from the widow in town. She claims she doesn’t mind a little noise as your son stomps up the stairs and gives you an open invitation to join her at church on Sundays.

It is six days into your new residence, the first Monday in town when the apparent welcoming committee shows up at your door. She wears a gentle smile on her face and presents you with a warm pie still wrapped in cloth.

“My name is Jane Bodecker, my husband’s the Sheriff. I wanted to introduce myself…”

You know the routine after moving around a few times already. You imagine the conspiring during the luncheon after church yesterday, the ladies munching on dry cookies and deciding who would be the first to talk to you.

You nod and smile, and accept the offering. 

“Some of us like to get together to play cards and socialize on Tuesdays, it would be nice to have you join us and let us get to know you.”

Of course she means that they are chomping at the bit to know why a single woman with no family ties has moved into town. You’re familiar with the ritual and know you need to go along if you want to make it work in this place.

You return her smile, “That would be so kind of you, as long as you don’t mind my son coming along.” You gesture to the little boy hiding in your skirts behind you.

“Of course he can. He can play with my boy, Robert. We will see you at two.” She leaves you with her address and directions over, telling you to look for the house with the red shutters.

Their house is in one of the newer, more developed parts, with some manufactured homes lining the street and looking boxy compared to the traditional farmhouses, but it's charming. The red shutters stand out, that’s for certain. It doesn’t take long to figure out that Jane is a proud host, head of the gossip chain, and is required to mention “My husband, the Sheriff” at least once per conversation.

You let the ladies ask their questions and nod politely as they give you the required chorus of condolences. You feel the shift when Jane steers the conversation to what they all want to know. “Now, I don’t mean to spread gossip, but some folks were wondering why you rented a place here instead of goin’ home to your family.”

Your shoulders stiffen, ‘so much for not putting me on the spot’ you think, but you still smile politely as you answer. “I have no other family. My daddy was gone when I was a girl and my momma dropped me off with an aunt and uncle when she was with husband number three and I don’t know where she is. They said it was the first thing she did that made a lick of sense,” you try to joke. “Well, they didn’t exactly approve of me and Jimmy, so when we married they told me not to go back.”

“And the boy’s other kin?”

“Ain’t no other kin. Jimmy’s family was small, they’re gone now.”

“Well, ain’t you a tragedy,” she says in a chirpy, high voice. 

Your face tightens and you stare at your lap, “We get by,” you weakly mutter. 

They all assure you that they have some nice gentlemen they can introduce to you, and go on about how fortunate you are they are pulling you into their group. You hear about faceless people and their minor transgressions, but get bored with it fairly quickly and use the time to look over the Bodecker home. It’s nice, a mixture of modest and a few state-of -the-art updates. There’s more dust than you expect, the sofa cushions look worn down, with only a few photos on display. The sheriff’s face shrouded in shadows in the one you can see, but you figure their son must take after him since he doesn’t have the pinched look his mother seems to naturally have.

You don’t even meet ‘her husband, the Sheriff’ until your third Tuesday afternoon of cards at their home. Jane herself is practically giving a campaign speech since the election so close. You never paid a lot of attention to local politics, and you try to give her your attention, but when she starts to ramble on it’s just too much. You happen to look to the side to avoid rolling your eyes and catch just when he strolls in, as if on cue with the uniform all perfectly in place. He scans the group of women until he stops on you, eyes lighting up with interest.

Your own breath catches in your throat at the sight of him as he removes his hat and looks you over.

“Well,” he drawls, “You must be the sweet new thing that’s got all the fellas in town rioting.”

You have to look down, lest the embarrassment make you combust.

“Now, Lee,” Jane scolds, “That’s no way to say hello. Come over here and introduce yourself properly.” She guides him over, and you almost say it with her when she recites, “This is my husband, the Sheriff.”

“Apologies, miss. I know you aren’t trying to get them all riled. Janey told me ‘bout your husband. War is Hell, shame to be losing boys like that.”

He holds his hand out to shake yours, his hold firm and warm and you are hesitant to let go.

“I appreciate that, thank you, Sheriff. Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” he nods, eyes flicking over you one more time. “What are your plans in this lovely town of ours?” 

“Oh. Well,” you freeze up for a moment, it’s the first time someone’s asked and you don’t have your answer prepared. “Well, I was thinking that I would get a job. We get by right now, but once my boy is in school, I would like something else to do.”

Jane jumps on your answer, “Let’s just see if we can’t find you a bachelor around here. Plenty of boys can use someone to take care of ‘em, but if you want a man who will be home on time, you stay away from any of the deputies. I can’t remember the last time Lee wasn’t busy with something or other from the county. I suppose that’s the life we’ve chosen though, isn’t it?”

Her voice sounds overly sweet, but you can sense the daggers in her words. It’s the way he reacts, shifting on his feet and rolling his jaw like he’s annoyed. Jane doesn’t even pay attention to anything but the cards in her hand. Some of the other ladies nod, but the sheriff just lowers his head before he pulls Jane to the side to talk to her quietly.

You track his movements, fascinated until you shake yourself out of it. It’s been years since you felt like that or even saw a man that caught your attention - not since Jimmy. It’s alarming, unnerving.

The wave of guilt that washes over you is more than you can handle. 

“Please excuse me, but we must be going.” You get up without waiting for any response and practically yank your son right out of the house as Jane calls after you that she will see you again soon.

You brush off the incident after having some time to think, convinced that it is just because you were caught off guard, and try to go on as normally as you can.

Your days end up filled with social calls, running errands or helping your landlady, and keeping your son busy. He asks to play with the Bodecker boy nearly every day, but you try your best to keep your distance when you can, especially when she starts trying to arrange dates for you even when you politely decline.

You look at the other ladies sometimes and wonder how many of them are just tolerating her the way you do. There’s just something grating about the way her voice goes especially nasally when she has something not-very-Christian to say, or the way she talks so openly and obscenely about the apparent whorehouse in town. She doesn’t even seem the least bit shameful when she begins to complain about her sister-in-law and the trouble she gets up to despite her brother being the sheriff.

Sheriff Bodecker, on the other hand, is a bit more friendly than you anticipated, expecting him to be cold or rude, but usually he’s the one pushing his wife to extend a coffee or supper invitation your way and making small talk when you are still around when he gets home from work or if he catches you around town. Your own mind suspects that it’s maybe just a sense of civic duty to know his neighbors, but it’s nice to have company nonetheless. 

Conversation with him comes easily. He talks with you about interesting news stories, about the boys, about some of the other towns, and even plans for the county. It’s interesting, not just debate on whether the new curtains chosen by someone or other are tacky. There are times you get lost talking with him and need to be corralled back in by Jane or Steven getting antsy.

The way he draws your eye is a mixture of curiosity and interest. It makes you notice when he’s driving the patrol car or when you see him around town. You catch how tired he seems at the end of the days, how he’s usually got a piece of candy to slip to kids when they come by and are brave enough to ask. You notice how he knows everyone in town and seems to have an eye on everything, checking in at the shops and breaking up the young men when they start to roughhouse.

In a place like this, Jane Bodecker is far from the only gossiper in town, so while she might not share much about herself or her husband, plenty of others do. Some of the things they say are just nitpicking and you try to drown it out. They’ve been decent to you since your arrival, but it’s hard to ignore the constant whispers of how power went right to their heads.

When the election is over and she gets the right to continue to say “My husband, the Sheriff” you start to really see what they say. She loses the facade of playing the good wife, but still hosts her weekly card meetings to keep up to date. Instead of just coffee and tea, she starts slipping sips of whiskey and gives her opinion a bit more freely than before, and often hurling insults anywhere they can land.

It’s painful to watch her put down everyone, but especially the sheriff when he gets in her way. When you catch him sending a frustrated look at her turned back or rolling his eyes at her complaints about the town and its people, you pretend not to notice and remember to keep a smile on. Her outbursts get more and more unhinged and brazen, and the defeat and exhaustion in his stance makes you ache. There’s a hurt you can’t vocalize without overstepping, but it eats at you, chips at your patience bit by bit.

When the sheriff pulls the cruiser over one day while you’re walking between stores to say hi and make some small talk, you’re pleased. He seems less worn down, it’s nice to see.

“Oh, Sheriff, you’ve got some good timing,” you reach into one of your shopping bags, pulling out a paper bag of hard candies you bought from the candy shop. “While doing the washing, I found a handful of wrappers. Turns out the boys were getting into your candy stash. Thought you might need a refill.”

You hand him the bag and the smile he gives you in return makes your chest tighten up and ache.

“Sweet things from a sweet thing, thank you darlin’.” 

You bit down on your lips, desperate to not react to his flirtatious words. “It’s nothin’, Sheriff.”

“Not to me.”

You start to sway from foot to foot, looking down at the sidewalk with a hum and trying to come up with something else to say. Silence hangs in the air for a moment before his radio crackles with a call from the station. You take the opportunity to make your exit.

“I’ll be seeing you, Sheriff.”

He shoots a glare at the radio, but looks back at you with what you could only describe as longing. “Sure will, Sweets.” Usually something like that would sound condescending, but from him it sounds endearing. He winks and pulls the car away, talking to the dispatcher while he drives.

‘Sweets...sweet thing...darlin’’ his voice repeats over and over in your head, fingers trembling and clumsy with the rush they give you and the way your heart races.

You get nearly sick when you recognize the feelings you’re having. It’s like it was when you were first with Jimmy. When you couldn’t even look him in the eyes because you felt too overwhelmed by your feelings for him. When you flushed and overheated when he got close and said pretty things. When you used to hold onto his hand and promise yourself that you would care for him every day and prove your love to him.

That’s when you realize you’re coveting another woman’s husband.

It’s Thursday, which means you need to head down to Main Street to visit the pharmacy for your landlady, Mrs. Martins, and gather some groceries for the week. You had made plans with Jane to let the boys play together while you took ran errands. You don’t have a good excuse to change the plan, but you can’t help but ask again, “You sure you don’t mind him being here?”

“Not at all,” she smiles, a bit wider and more manic than usual, “Now if that handsome Wilford boy happens to ask you for supper, don’t you worry about rushin’ back, ya hear?”

You laugh at her latest unsubtle attempt, “I will keep it in mind, thanks.” She and a few others had started to meddle, putting eligible bachelors in your path and setting up dates on your behalf. You do try. You talk to them, let them flirt, but none hold your interest. They’re boys - lanky and lean, still all reckless and rowdy. Not what you’re looking for, nothing like the solid, filled-out figure of a man, someone secure and stable and in a uniform. But that’s something to think about another day.

Wilford does indeed ask. 

You do not feel so inclined to take up the offer, especially when he pinches the round of your ass as he asks you to consider dessert before any supper. 

He has you pressed against the wall outside the hardware store, letting the sun blind you and bring tears to your eyes as the bricks snag the delicate threads of your dress.

He only backs away when a loud voice booms out, “There a problem here, son?”

He turns his head to find Lee pulled to the side of the road, window down and arm resting on the frame, his jaw clenched and eyes narrowed.

“No sir, Sheriff, just makin’ some supper plans, ain’t we?” Wilford looks back at you with a leer. Your hands press flat against the building and your knee twitches with the urge to jerk up and hurt him.

“I thought we were expecting you tonight, isn’t that right?” Lee asks you pointedly. 

Your attacker looks back at Lee, then to you, and you nod. Finally, you’re given some space. 

“I imagine you need to be moving along then?” Lee checks, waiting impatiently for Wilford to answer.

“Yessir.” He gives you a wicked grin and spins away to go back down the street. “Maybe another time when you’re free.”

You shake your head, eyes narrowed at his back as you glare.

Lee taps the side of the cruiser, “C’mere.”

You take a shaky breath and gather yourself with a nod before taking the few steps across the sidewalk. Leaning down you take a moment to look him over in his uniform, the badge gleaming in the sunshine and eyes clear blue as the sky.

“You alright, Sweets?” he asks, voice low and gentle. He’d taken to calling you that since the candy incident, always in that same tone - like it’s precious and important. The way it hits you right in the center of your chest hurts more than the physical damage done a moment ago. You know he isn’t asking if your heart is aching, or if you’re alright being lonely, or any of the ways you’re feeling it right now, but it strikes you in an unexpected way.

“I’m fine,” you smile tightly, “Thank you for checking.”

“These boys just don’t know how to handle themselves when they see a pretty lady.” Your cheeks ache as you try to keep from beaming at the off-hand comment. “Ya know, I’m getting ready to head on home, you need a ride that way? I’m guessing your boy is stirrin’ up some shit with mine?” He turns and scans the road and sidewalk around you, fidgeting a bit as he asks.

“I still have to make another stop and my car is at the end of the block, but thank you.” You stand up.

“Well, I mean it, you and Steven stay for supper tonight, I’ll square it with Jane.”

“You don’t hav’ta do that-”

“No worries, darlin’.” He winks, taps his fingers on the shell of the door by the painted logo and waits until you nod in agreement. “See you soon, then.” And with a nod he pulls off the curb.

You watch the cruiser drive away, then look up and down the street, but no one else is there. You finally manage to draw in a full breath, and rush to get to the cool air of the pharmacy to ease the flush burning you from the inside out.

You make it back to the Bodecker’s before the sheriff, glad to have a few moments to smooth things over with Jane since she clearly had not expected you to turn down the date she arranged for you.

“He wasn’t too much of a handful, was he? I told him before I left that he better mind you today.”

She waves you off, sitting back down at the table with her abandoned cigarette in the tray and a small glass of brown liquor.

“Well, the boys’ll sleep tonight, that’s for sure. They’ve been running circles round the whole damn house.” She ashes the cigarette before taking another puff and settling against the backrest of the chair.

You take a moment to look over the kitchen, a pot is just about to boil over so you make your way to it. “Can I help you out with anything? Give you a moment to freshen up ‘fore Lee gets home?” 

“I suppose that’s the least you can do.” Her cheeks draw in another puff and she hums, taking her glass with her as she goes to their bedroom.

The boys run inside, breathless and sweaty, both shouting while they tell you about a nest they found outside before you order them off to get washed up themselves. You look down the hall, waiting to see if Jane was on her way back or if she was expecting you to finish her cooking. Rather than let it burn, you do just that, taking care of the potatoes, adding a few seasonings as you go, and pulling out the meatloaf from the oven. 

The screen door squeaks and boots thud through the house when Lee enters and makes his way to the kitchen. You nervously look over your shoulder, catching him leaning against the door jamb, spinning his hat in his hand, a soft smile on his lips as he looks your way.

“This is a sight. If I didn’t know better I’d think I wandered into the wrong house.” 

You let out a bit of a nervous laugh, then look back down to the greens you were tending to, “I am so sorry, I kept your wife busy longer than I should’ve. She’ll be out in just a minute.” You go back to busying yourself with finishing up the meal.

“Not complainin’,” he mutters under his breath, but you still hear it and it makes your breath hitch. Jane could set you on edge with her snide remarks, so could Lee, but for completely different reasons - some that had been dormant for so long you didn’t know what to do. 

Just then Jane makes her grand reappearance, hair freshly combed and lips tinged with a touch of color; her cheeks look ruddy, but you can’t tell if it’s rouge or flush from the alcohol she’s been sipping.

“Don’t you go adding too much milk to my potatoes, nobody likes ‘em all runny. Here, let me,” she says and nudges you out of the way, “See you gotta mix in just a little bit right there.”

She overpours anyway, her hands moving unsteadily as she mashes the potatoes up, making them runny just like she warned you about. 

From behind you, you see Lee go to the table, picking up the liquor bottle and examining the contents, making marks with his fingers against the side of the bottle and shaking his head. He takes a swig himself and sets it back down.

He mumbles something about being sober, then walks down the hall to where Jane disappeared, stopping to say something to make the boys giggle on the way before they wrestle each other at the bathroom sink to wash up for supper. 

The meal starts off quiet, just the utensils scraping along the plates, but Jane being the gracious host, finally tries to perk it up with conversation.

“I know Wilford might be a little rough ‘round the edges for someone from a bigger town, but there are still several other young men I can introduce you to,” she offers, unprompted.

You choke a little before you recover and finish chewing your bite of food.

“You needn’t go through the trouble, Mrs. Bodecker. Really.” 

“It’s just, you’re so young to be widowed already and all alone. What kinda home will it be for the boy with no man around? And don’t you want more kids? I bet you just glow. Some of the ladies at my bible study wouldn’t mind setting you up.”

The idea makes you squirm. No, you aren’t dead inside, but there’s no way for you to get what - who you really want.

The sheriff speaks up then. “My old man took off on my ma, sister, and me. That’s just the way shit happens sometimes,” he says and you feel the dark cloud start to clear just a bit. You nod at him, acknowledging the little bit of affirmation.

“What was your husband like?” Jane presses, digging a little further into that painful wound. “Maybe that will help me out.”

Your Jimmy didn’t have much to give you, but he gave you all he could. He gave you the kind of love that made your cheeks hurt from smiling, and your stomach swoop with butterflies. Your eyes flick toward Lee and you think again about how alike they seem to you, handsome, intuitive, assertive, strong-willed. He catches your gaze and pauses his chewing for a brief second while he waits for your answer. 

“He was a good man, strong and fair. I’d like to think he and Mr. Bodecker would’ve gotten on quite well,” you finally say, smiling kindly at them both in turn.

Lee’s lips curl into a smile while he finishes chewing, then sits back with a stretch. “You’re makin’ me sound like an old man,” he whines, “Call me Lee when I’m not on duty.”

“Yes sir,” you automatically reply. “Lee.”

His smile grows. “Say, Janey? Why don’t you go get that jug of wine up for us?”

She nods and gets up.

“Wine?” you ask, surprised.

“It’s nothin’ special, someone up the road makes it. Tastes better than that church wine, but don’t burn like the shine some other folks are brewin’ up.”

Jane comes back with three glasses and pours generously for you all, her own motions increasingly sloppy from her afternoon drinking.

You sip at it, the taste a little tart, but not as acidic and thank them for their generosity.

“Jane, you do something different with the seasoning tonight?”

“No,” she answers, then goes right back to her chat with you, you think about speaking up, but she goes back to leading the conversation. “So, you still thinking about becoming a working gal?”

“Not right away, but yes.”

“Oh?” Lee asks, “Something at the diner? I think the grocery is hiring?”

“Nuh uh,” her voice takes on a nasty tone, “Nothing like that for her. She went to secretary school.” The lilt in her voice makes it clear that she doesn’t care for that little fact. “Can you believe that? School just to learn to file a paper or take a message.”

“There’s more to it than that,” you quietly defend.

“Jane, what the hell do you know? You haven’t worked a day in your life?” Lee asks.

Jane rolls her eyes, body slumping a bit in her chair. “Well, whatever you do, just make sure you don’t go working at the Tecumsah.” She snorts into her glass as she takes a sip. “That’s where Lee’s sister works. I told you ‘bout her before.” She gives you a look. “That place is a den of sin, if you know what I am gettin’ at.”

“You’re are gonna spoil my appetite talkin’ like that,” he says. He drops his fork and you startle, his glare at his wife making clear this is another sore subject. 

“Wouldn’t be the worst thing,” she mutters. “I’m gettin’ tired of mending the buttons on your clothes.”

Your jaw nearly drops. You wring your napkin on your lap and scramble for something to change the subject and break the tension, “Jane, there are such lovely flowers planted right by the library, is there a gardening club around here that you haven’t told me about?”

She’s bored by the topic, but it does enough to distract her and send her on a tangent. You nod and hum while you pick at your food. Occasionally you glance to Lee at the side and find him looking at you appreciatively.

You keep turning the conversation away from yourself, getting her to talk about anything you can as she keeps refilling and sipping down more of her wine. 

You use the next lull in conversation to make your exit.

“This has been lovely, and I am so thankful for everything today, but we really oughtta get back home. I need to make sure Mrs. Martins gets her items from the pharmacist and I need to try to fix the old projector she’s given me.”

“What’s wrong with it?” Lee asks, leaning forward.

“No idea,” you laugh. “I was hoping to puzzle it together.”

“I can take a look for you,” he offers.

“If you have a moment,” you turn to Jane, “And you don’t mind sparing him.”

She scoffs and waves her fingers, “Nah, take Robert with you.”

He grunts in response while the kids leap up, excited for more time together. You do what you can to clean up and ease the load for Jane, but she’s getting more irritable by the minute, so you shuffle to the door to leave.

You head to the driveway where your car’s parked, waiting for him outside while the boys chase each other around the cars. He steps out the door, swinging his key ring on his fingers, looking at ease without the uniform on, but still strutting with an air of authority. It makes your stomach swoop.

“The Martins place? What road is that on again?” he asks jarring you out of your staring.

“Just follow me, Sheriff. I mean - Lee,” You nod as you get into the driver’s seat, Steven climbing in on the other side.

“Don’t mind if I do.” He mutters it loud enough that you hear him. The tilted, teasing grin on his face as he climbs into his own car almost makes you certain it was his intention.

When you get out, there’s a lump in your throat and the air suddenly feels heavy. Thankfully, the short walk up your drive is quiet, the sheriff walking leisurely next to you and laughing at the boys as they race each other down the sidewalk. 

“I gotta go in the back way,” you swallow thickly as you tell him while you open up the gate, “There’s a private staircase for us there.”

He nods and follows. 

When you enter the small apartment, you’re grateful that you don’t have much to fuss over and that it is tidy by default.

“Why don’t you boys go play with the Lincoln Logs or race cars? Nothing too loud right now,” you suggest and push them off toward the small room Steven occupies. “I got the parts all together right here, but I think something is missing.” You point to the box with the projector parts and reels.

“No problem,” Lee’s voice is quiet in your small space. He takes out the parts and starts to fit things together, checking a few switches here and there after a couple of minutes before patting the top of it with a, “There you go.”

You smile widely, “That’s it? Really?”

“That’s it, Sweets,” he matches your smile.

You suddenly hate the idea of him leaving so quickly, so you look around for something else.

“Coffee?”

He nods. “It’s like you read my mind,” there’s a glint in his eye as he gives you a generous once-over.

You feel a flush and quickly turn away to the kitchen.

Your hands tremble as you fill the kettle with water and scoop grounds into the press.

The boys break into a fit of giggles and before you can call after them, you feel the warm presence of Lee shuffle up behind you. His boots scuff against the floor as he stops, then seconds later his arms cage you in from behind, his palms resting against the edge of the countertop.

His breaths are deep, his nose just tickling along the neckline of your dress and you feel your back stiffen at the rush.

“You’re so lovely Sweets,” he whispers.

Your breath shakes as you suck it in. “S-sheriff,” you swallow thickly, “Lee? What’re you doing?”

“You’re beautiful, y’know.”

You remain still, unable to whisper anything but his name again.

“I see the way you look at me,” he presses a kiss to your skin that’s so gentle and tender but nearly makes your knees buckle. “Like you want somethin’.”

“I’m not - I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you weakly deny.

One arm leaves the counter to wrap around your middle, pulling you even closer to him while he steps right up behind you, the whole front of him up against your back. The movement makes you gasp and arch just slightly. You’re unable to catch yourself from rolling your head back to lean against him fully and feeling him grunt.

“You don’t need to make any excuses. You want me, dontcha?” he talks with his lips pressed right against your neck, heavy breaths tickling at your hairline.

God, do you want him. The sudden feeling of a warm, masculine body against you is something you didn’t realize you missed so much. For years it’s just been you and your boy and focusing on the day to day, not thinking about the way a strong arm feels pulled around you with fingers just tickling at your sensitive skin - until suddenly that’s exactly what is happening. And how you’ve missed it, your muscles nearly seize up with tension as you try to fight how good it feels.

It’s like trying to drag yourself from a dream, slow and muted as you try to make sense of everything at once; a sharp clarity punches through hard and fast.

“Your wife,” you reach down to cover his hand with your own, ready to try to pry him off.

“That fucking pig? I don’t love her, I don’t want her. She don’t want me either.”

“Don’t say that. You can’t say that,” you tell him and start to pull away, squirming away but getting nowhere since he doesn’t budge an inch. He allows you to spin around between himself and the countertop. “Lee? What is this? What’re you doing?”

It’s a stupid question. You know what this is. You can remember moments like these with your late husband, but Lee is not your husband. You know his wife. You just spent the evening with her in their home.

He doesn’t answer. Instead his free hand starts to skim up along your side until his thumb catches at the curve at the bottom your breast, then slides up so that he can rub his thumb back and forth over your dress, teasing at your hardened nipple.

It makes you whimper and nearly fold in half with how sensitive you feel.

“I’ll make you feel so good,” he coos, his lips parted and eyes tracking the movement of his thumb.

You lift your arms to his shoulders, uncertain yet if you’re planning to push him away or pull him close when you hear the quick footsteps of the boys.

Lee steps back to give you some distance and your hands flutter mid-air as you try to compose yourself.

The boys start to whine over each other-

“Momma. Robert keeps knocking over my building.”

“No, he keeps takin’ the blocks I’m using.”

Some kind of clarity forms and you rush out a solution for them, “Why don’t you get out your TinkerToys and split it all up? Alright? Go back to the other room,” you nudge them away.

Problem solved, they run back to the room, leaving you standing in the kitchen, Lee lingering just feet away and the half-finished coffee press on the counter.

“Jane must be expecting you home by now.”

He grunts and shakes his head ruefully, “She’s probably passed out by now.”

“Oh,” you nod. You search for something, anything to excuse yourself and catch your breath, “I need to go to the bathroom. Excuse me a moment.”

You slip out of the kitchen and into the door just down the hall. Taking a moment to relieve yourself then press a cool rag to your cheeks. You’d nursed the glass of wine Jane had poured, so you knew deep down you weren’t tipsy, you were just overrun by the feelings the sheriff gave you. Once you get your first full breath in minutes, you feel better, calmer and more controlled. You look at yourself in the mirror and decide - you just need to send him on home.

You barely crack open the bathroom door when it’s pushed open wide, Lee wedging in when it’s wide enough and nearly slamming it shut behind him.

“Don’t hide from me, Sweets,” is all he says before he’s got one arm around your middle again, and the other holding the back of your neck while he presses his lips against yours. After gasping in surprise, you instinctively return the kiss - your tongue and lips tentative against his dominating mouth. 

It’s strange - all of it so strange after so long. It’s been years since your last kiss and you feel clumsy, out of practice, but he doesn’t hesitate one bit, doesn’t seem turned off by your uncoordinated motions and hands that can’t keep still over his middle and shoulders.

He takes in a deep breath, pausing for just a second to position himself better, then he’s back on you, and you feel ready for him this time. One hand resting on his chest while the other hooks up around his neck, your fingers stroking through the soft, short hairs at the back of his head. He turns the both of you, pressing you against the vanity sink.

“Lee,” you whimper when he wedges a leg between yours.

“Shh, shh, sshh. I got you.”

His kisses are relentless and make you light-headed, gasping for breaths every time he slightly lets up. His hands push and pull, struggling against your dress and your undergarments until he’s freed one breast and can drop his head to suckle at your hard peak.

Your mouth falls open in a silent cry, mind painfully aware of the children in the room nearby. You crack open an eye to make sure the door is still closed and try to focus on the sounds the kids are making, but his tongue and lips are too distracting. He pulls as much of your breast into his mouth as he can, greedily swirling his tongue all over the sensitive bud, and pulling away with a loud pop.

You slap at his shoulder while he just looks up at you with a shit-eating grin.

“Feels good, right?” He places his hand to cup your breast, thumb flicking at your nipple. “Let me have you, I’ll make you feel so good, my sweet girl. Please?”

His own eyes close as he ruts up against you, his hard length pressing against your hip and sending a tremor through your body, practically shaking your bones. You don’t move though, your hands stay frozen where you hold onto him, but he continues to lead and coax you along.

One wide hand holds you at the back of your neck, just holding you in place. His mouth moves across your cheeks and at the hinge of your jaw. He whispers quiet promises of satisfaction, telling you how lovely you are and confirming every word with a kiss. His other hand leaves your breast after one final and quick pinch and grabs at the bottom of your dress. The fabric bunching in his fist as he gathers it until he can feel your thigh.

Then he teases you with just the tips of his fingers, sliding right up and over til he meets where your thighs meet. It tickles, makes you shake a little, and then you’re sucking in a hard gasp when he keeps going until he pets and presses over your sex with the pads of his fingertips.

“So wet,” he says on an exhale, pressing right where you feel your excitement leaking. “You want me too. It’s alright.”

To prove his point, he presses harder, flattening his hand until he’s cupping you and making your body jerk between him and the sink. You bend your knees to open your thighs wider with the touch, and he groans and presses hard against you again, the heel of his palm putting pressure to your throbbing clit. You struggle to not hook your leg right over his hip to let him in.

“Lee,” you start to beg, “Please. Oh my god, please.”

It’s so overwhelming you start to sob, the tears already prick at the corners of your eyes. Just being touched, feeling the warmth of him, and the words - it’s all that you remembered being with a man to be and more. His hand keeps a rhythm against you, driving you higher. You hadn’t had a man’s touch in years, but suddenly you need Lee like you need air.

“Please,” you say again. Your body tingles with electricity that has nowhere to go.

“So pretty. You’re so pretty, baby. I’m gonna take care of ya. Am I what you need?”

“Yes,” tears start to roll down your cheeks. He pulls back slightly until he can slip his fingers underneath your panties, gliding right through your arousal. You feel two of his fingers slide into you, and you squeeze around them instantly.

“Fuck,” he grunts. Your wetness drips down his fingers into his palm. He presses the heel of it against you again, right against your sensitive clit this time. “Come on my fingers, sweetness.”

He fucks you with his hand, his thick, solid fingers caressing you while he sends jolts of pleasure through you with pressure on your sensitive button. You squirm to get away, but the hand still at the back of your neck tightens and holds you down, making you take it.

“It’s alright,” he whispers, “It’s alright.”

And that’s it. You freeze for a moment as the pleasure peaks and then you’re trembling as the shocks of it rush through you in a blaze. You can hear the wetness drowning his fingers as he keeps pumping them into you while you clench over him repeatedly and sob as quietly as you can, which must not be very quiet because he starts to shush you and slow the movement of his hand, gently attempting to calm you down.

“You’re okay, s’alright baby, just breathe, c’mon,” you hear him coach, but all you can focus on is the thumping beat of your heart as it races and trying to catch your breath between sniffles, the tears falling freely down your cheeks.

His hand slides out from your panties to grab you steady at your waist, the hand from your neck moves so he can use his thumb to wipe away your tears. He presses his forehead to yours and tells you to breathe with him.

You blink your eyes open, eyelashes glittering with wetness and you take a minute to focus. Once things are clear, you tilt your head back to look at him. His cheeks are flushed, lips wet and rosy, and his eyes - they nearly glow as he looks you over. It’s something to see - awe, tenderness, pride all in the twitches of his lips as his lips turn up with a smile.

“Sweets, will you touch me?” he asks. For such a big man, his voice is suddenly so small.

“Lee, I can’t-I haven’t…” you struggle to find the words.

“It’s alright, that’s alright,” he assures you, circling your wrist with his fingers still sticky from your arousal, and guiding them to the bulge in his trousers. You flinch, but don’t pull away, your arm tenses, but goes with the motion. He presses your palm against the solid length, pushing down to give him some relief. His hips press against you in return and once he’s sure you aren't going anywhere, he lets go of your wrist, then starts to undo the belt and button in quick movements. He tugs the waistband of his trousers and boxers down together, just to release his cock.

You feel the fabric move under your palm, but keep pressing against him, your hand sliding just slightly out of remembered instinct. When the fabric of his boxers slides away and you’re met with the heat of his cock, you gasp. Your hand wraps around him, fingers circling around his shaft to hold him and pulling a strangled moan from him.

“Shit-fuck,” he hisses. “Won’t be long.” He wraps his hand over yours, pulling your fist up and down over him while he pumps his hips into it. Precome drips down from the slit, easing the glide. 

His eyes close and he presses his temple to yours, his face pulls up in concentration, focusing on the pleasure, “You’re so soft, so sweet,” he rasps, “Want you so bad, want you all to myself.”

You can imagine it, if you’re ready to be totally honest, you have imagined it.

“Kiss me?” you whisper.

His lips meet yours roughly for a long press, then he tilts his head and licks at the seam of your lips, making you open up to him. His hand and yours start to speed up, he keeps guiding you up and down, just the slightest twist at the head with each stroke.

The kiss turns sloppy, more sharing air and pecks than anything as he spirals with the pleasure you’re helping to give him.

“You’re gonna -you’re gonna make me-” with a pained expression, he nudges you away, his hand stroking frantically as he leans over your sink until he starts to come, streaks hitting the porcelain as he chokes down groans. You watch his neck and face go red, trying not to watch, but you can’t help yourself and catch the way his cock twitches with his release, all swollen and red. You don’t think you could possibly blush more, but still fire burns underneath your skin.

When he finishes coming, he reaches for you again, pulling you into another hard kiss. “God, darlin’. Fuck,” he whispers while he attempts to catch his breath. “Fuck. Haven’t been tugged off like that since I was a deputy.” He chuckles, the laugh coming out in hard puffs of air.

You struggle to look at anything in the bathroom, eyes straying back to Lee, to his softening cock, to the come dripping slowly in the sink basin. Just then you hear the boys start to giggle and reality hits you again, making your chest seize up in panic.

“Oh, Lee. No,” you raise a hand to your mouth and quickly rush out the door, piecing your wardrobe back together as you walk back into the kitchen. You hear the water run in the bathroom and murmuring as Lee talks to himself.

Your movement must have distracted the boys because they manage to sound like a stampede heading toward you. You wipe at your nose and eyes as best you can before you turn to see what they want.

Both the boys pause, but it’s your son that speaks up, knowing how you look when you cry. “Momma, you alright?”

Lee exits the bathroom then, shirt tucked back in, belt and trousers back in place - only the flush from the neck up giving anything away. His eyes bore into you with heavy emotion that you are ashamed that you can read so well - concern, sympathy, desire. A mixture that you remind yourself you don’t deserve.

“Yeah, baby. I am. You know I get sad sometimes, I’ll be fine. Are you boys ready to say goodbye for tonight? I think it’s well past your bedtime.”

You grab Steven and fuss with his hair, with his messy shirt, and then turn him around and hold him against you like a tiny human shield. “Say thank you to the sheriff for fixing the projector and for letting Robert play.”

“Thank you, sir,” your son dutifully responds.

Lee can see what you’re doing and he’s not happy with it, his mouth going flat and shoulders heaving as you pressure him into leaving.

He just nods, then nudges at Robert’s shoulder, “Say thank you for indulging us.”

“Thank you,��� Robert quietly says.

You send Steven down the hallway to get ready for bed, and then you follow behind as they step toward the door, Robert too tired from a full day of play to put up a fight. Lee opens the door to the back steps, telling Robert to be careful going down. When the boy starts down a few, Lee turns back to you.

Before you can react, he’s giving you another kiss, quick but meaningful. “We’re not done,” he whispers. 

“We are. Go home, Lee.”

He gives you a long look before stomping down the steps. “Til next time, Sweets.”

...

[gins-potter]

Casting Thoughts

Yes, I did a long post when the rumours first dropped but hey now it’s confirmed plus we have characters descriptions, and I’m bored so let’s do this all over again people.  Under the cut because it got long

Sisi Stringer as Rose Hathaway

I said this in my other post but I’m pretty happy with Sisi as Rose.

Visually I think she’s a great fit, I love that they casted a WoC in the main role, and I think if she can bring Rose’s humour and sarcasm to the role, she’s going to do great.

The character description mentions Rose being “fiery and outspoken”, happy to jump into the action, and the strongest fighter in her class but struggling to toe the line, which is all very Rose-esque, especially in the first book.  It sounds to me like they have a good grasp on her character.

I’m a little disappointed we didn’t hear more about Rose as a character since she is the lead - it felt like the descriptions for Lissa and Dimitri both gave us a little more to go on - but it is only a very preliminary description so I’m happy to wait for more.

Daniela Nieves as Lissa Dragomir

Daniele is another one who I was happy with straight away.

She’s probably not what I imagined for Lissa visually but that’s not a bad thing either; I will be interested to see if they dye her hair a lighter colour (like a caramel-blonde) but personally that’s not something I need to see for her to be a great fit for Lissa.

I think she has a very sweet face which works well for a character like Lissa but I think she’s also going to be able to stand up in Lissa’s more fiercer moments which is nice to see as well.

The character descriptions mentions her as being “carefree and kind-hearted” who “coasts” through life until a death in the family thrusts her into a new role.  That sounds a lot like pre-series Lissa so I wonder if we’re going to see a bit of that in the show before Andre (and her parents??) die and see that change.  

It’s curious though that she’s described as the younger sister of the heir apparent - which would be Andre - so it sounds like they’ve changed it so Andre was supposed to be King.  Obviously a deviation from the books but I don’t hate it?  I don’t think it would change Lissa’s arc all that much because obviously she was always going to grow up to be an influential royal figure, this just slightly changes the dynamics of it.

The description also specifically mentions that she’s uninterested in “political machinations” and the “hypocrisy of the moroi royal society” which sounds very accurate to book!lissa as well.

All in all I’m very happy with what they’re doing with Lissa.

Keiron Moore as Dimitri Belikov

This is one who’s really grown on me since the rumoured cast list started circulating.  At first I was kind of eh about him but I can really see him as Dimitri now.

I will be curious to see if he grows out his hair or not though.

As far as I know Keiron is not Russian, there’s not a lot about him online, but there’s some instagram activity on his account linking him to UK based companies so that would be my guess as to where he’s from.  They’ve kept Dimitri’s incredibly Russian name so I guess we’re to assume Keiron might be doing an accent and they’re keeping Dimitri’s backstory relatively the same?  I’m not gonna be super mad if they change it just because I think it’s doable for him not to be Russian (I know, I know a whole book is set in Russia but lbr here they could make him from anywhere and just send Rose there in that book).

The biggest thing for me will be his chemistry with Sisi, Danila and Zoey had great chemistry (imo anyway) which saved the move a little for me, so it’ll be important that Sisi and Keiron do as well.  They’ve interacted a few times online which is cute so I’m hoping they were able to do some chemistry reads and that will translate on screen.

The character description mentions Dimitri as being “lethal, disciplined, discreet, and totally committed” as well as living by “a deep moral code” but with more going on “beneath his stoic, watchful surface” which sounds exactly like book!Dimitri to me.

They don’t really specify what his role at St Vlad’s is going to be but they do mention that he is a guardian so I’m assuming they’re keeping some sort of age gap between him and Rose.  They also don’t mention anything about their relationship in the description, be it student/teacher, platonic, romantic, whatever, but they do say he has “an expansive spirit that could threaten to expose the underlying tension between his sense of what’s right and his formal duty to the Moroi.” which seems like a nod to their relationship.

Andre Dae-Kim as Christian Ozera

This was one of my favourite casting choices from the original rumoured cast list and I still love it.

The idea of a non-white Christian makes a lot of sense to me and I think Andre could do a great job of Christian’s aloofness (in the first book) as well as his sarcasm and growing confidence across the other books.

His character description confuses me a bit though: “Intelligent and thoughtful, Christian is the pariah of the school and royal court, due to his parents’ unforgivable societal sins.” sounds accurate enough to the book (although idk if thoughtful is quite the word I’d use for Christian - maybe they mean it in the sense that he’s quiet and keeps to himself?).

Even “Well-read and hungry for knowledge” doesn’t sound that far off, idk if he was *that* particularly studious in the books, but it doesn’t necessarily not make sense either you know?

But “he searches for faith-based answers and discovers a kindred spirit who is also looking for the truth” ??? My cynical, irreverent asshole Christian is now a man of faith? I’m assuming Lissa is the “kindred spirit” (again weird word choice but maybe they mean she’s feeling lost because of the death of her family?) but I just cannot see Christian as being particularly religious.

I’m trying to keep an open mind about these changes because you never know they might play out totally different on screen, but I really hope they didn’t make these changes, particularly that Christian is studious and religious, just because they cast an Asian actor as him (because they feel a little like Asian stereotypes).

J August Richards as Victor Dashkov

This is one that didn’t appear on the original rumoured cast list (as far as I saw) and it’s so different to his description in the books that I kind of don’t have an opinion about it as a casting choice.

I’ve never seen him in anything before so purely on a visual level I think he could be a great fit for Victor, I just think it’ll really come down to how he plays it.

As for this character description: “Victor is a Moroi noble vampire with a heart of gold who’s highly regarded for his role as advisor and political strategist to Moroi dignitaries.” as well as mentioning that he has intelligence and influence, sounds pretty accurate to the book.  Obviously if Andre was the heir to the throne, Victor had to be shifted out of that role, but I think his book 1 arc could still work if they wanted it to.

The “heart of gold” bit obviously made me chuckle and I really hope they threw it in there as a kind of decoy to throw non-book-readers off the fact that he’s actually the villain in book 1/s1.

As for giving him a husband and two daughters, my thoughts are: why the fuck not? He didn’t have a love interest in the original books and I’m always down for more lgbtq+ rep.  My only concern is it maybe playing into the trope of evil/villain characters being queer-coded.  And as for having two daughters, well as long as one of them is Natalie I don’t mind.

Anita-Joy Uwajeh as Tatiana Vogel

Okay this is the most bizarre one imo, not because of the casting, but just the character description.

I mean “Tatiana is a Moroi vampire and political underdog who slowly takes the royal court by storm. Motivated by love and a sense of justice, Tatiana has a unique skill of making herself seem of no consequence until we realize much too late that she was always the one to watch.” sounds extremely Tasha Ozera to me, so like why not just make this character Tasha?  Nothing about this sounds like Tatiana, and Tatiana wasn’t even a Vogel anyway (well Vogel wasn’t even one of the 12 royal families), she was an Ivashkov.

In terms of Anita-Joy herself, well I mean we don’t really have a character to compare her to, is she supposed to be more like Tasha or Tatiana?  She looks fairly young, so my guess is actually on Tasha, but we’ll have to wait to see I guess.

Mia McKenna-Bruce as Mia Karp

This is another one that I was instantly a fan of.

I was so not a fan of Mia’s casting in the movie (I can’t even remember who played her tbh but I really didn’t like it) so this Mia is a lot closer to how I imagine her.

I think she’ll be able to carry Mia’s transformation from bratty social-climber to badass fighter really well.

The character description is interesting though.  “Witty, cutting, and just the right kind of ruthless when necessary, non-Royal Mia has a long-term plan to social climb her way into the ranks of royalty, with all the privilege and freedom that entails.” sound pretty bang on to Mia in the first book.

“A plan complicated by her instant chemistry with Meredith, a Guardian-in-training, as Mia struggles to reconcile her attraction to Meredith with her lowly status.” is an obvious deviation though, and one I kind of love???  Give me all the queer rep, and if we get to see Mia confront the issue of comp-het I’m so here for it.  

It’s kind of funny though because I’ve seen theories that Meredith is a replacement for Eddie and Mia/Eddie has always been my sort of rarepair ship.

The last name Karp is weird af though.  Is she supposed to be Sonya’s daughter?  And if that’s the case I wonder if we’re going to actually see Sonya turn Strigoi in the show’s first season or something and that triggers the change in Mia?  Interesting concept but I’m not sure how the timeline will work.

Rhian Blundell as Meredith

So this is another new one, and tbh I hadn’t given Meredith *that* much though in the past but she’s probably close to how I would have pictured her which is cool.

The elephant in the room with this casting is that Meredith’s role in the books was relatively minor - she was just kind of that character that got brought up whenever R.M needed a dhampir who wasn’t Rose/Dimitri/Mason/Eddie.  So clearly she’s going to have a bigger role in the tv show which I don’t mind but I do wonder if we’re going to lose a character - probably Eddie lbr - in order to have her.  They haven’t casted an Eddie yet as far as we know, but I have seen it pointed out that Eddie’s role in book 1 was pretty small so maybe they just aren’t announcing it.  But there’s also the possibility that maybe Meredith will sort of replace Eddie and be the third part of Rose and Mason’s friendship.

I’m very interested by this part of her character description though, “She has little patience for Rose’s volatility or Mia’s elitism, and regularly calls both of them out.”

Jonetta Kaiser as Sonya Karp

I don’t necessarily dislike Jonetta as Sonya but I am confused by this choice.  She looks fairly young, which tbf Sonya was young-ish I guess, but if Mia is supposed to be her daughter she doesn’t look old enough to have a teenaged daughter.  So maybe Sonya and Mia are sisters? Cousins? Just have each other’s last names for no reason? I really don’t know.  They also look nothing alike.

Other than that, I don’t really have an opinion about Jonetta as Sonya.  Obviously looks nothing like how Sonya was described but that’s not new nor a massive concern for me.  

I can’t really tell just from looking at her, and I haven’t seen her in anything, if she would play a good Sonya.  I think with a lot of the characters it’s going to come down to the personality they bring to the part and the writing.

I looooooove her character description though:  “Quiet, careful and decidedly odd, Sonya is not of royal bloodline and sits out on the fringe of Moroi society, preferring to spend her time in the library or her gardens. Not a person who likes a scene, nonetheless she has a quiet but profound power of her own. She is taken by surprise when a Dhampir Guardian named Mikhail shows interest in her, a relationship that will expose both the brightest and darkest parts of her heart.”  It’s everything I would probably want from a description of Sonya and I’m more and more convinced that we’re going to see Sonya’s descent into madness and transformation into a Strigoi play out in maybe the first season which I am so curious how they’re going to work into the timeline.

Andrew Liner as Mason Ashford

Our last one and another one who doesn’t look remotely like his description but again? Not a surprise and not a problem for me.  He looks like he could play Mason’s goofiness really well as well as be a solid contender for a love interest for Rose.

“Charming, loyal and popular, Mason is Rose’s main competition in the quest to become the No. 1 Guardian-in-training. Though their relationship is casual on her side, he is hopeful she will finally look at him and see him as something more.” His character description makes a lot of sense, maybe him being Rose’s main competition is a bit of a deviation? But I think that’s more an indication that he’s supposed to be a strong fighter which isn’t inaccurate to the books.  The rest sounds great.

Other Thoughts

Descriptions of the show specifically mention friendship and classism as major themes which I am very happy to hear about because those are the two parts of VA that I love the most.

Am a little more worried about it being described as “sexy” though, if they shove a whole bunch of meaningless sex scenes in it just because it’s a YA show I’m not gonna be happy.

Seen the show compared to “Game of Thrones” and “Bridgerton” which at first had me like oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck not good not good not good.  But thinking about it more and trying to understand where Plec’s coming from with that description I wonder if means similar to GoT as in the cut-throat nature of the Moroi/Dhampir society cause I can kind of see that.  And as for Bridgerton I wonder if she’s referring to the kind of social-climbing aspects of it, because again that makes sense and it seems like a theme she really wants to concentrate on.  I hope that’s what she means by those comparisons, or that she just wants to compare it to popular shows to get people to watch it.  The worst would be if she tries to throw in a lot of unnecessary sex scenes to make it like those shows, because I hate when they do that, especially when the characters are teenagers.

Interesting to hear that Plec has known about the series since before Twilight or TVD - not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Seems like it’s actually mostly (or all??) written by Marguerite MacIntyre which is interesting because I know people were worried about Julie Plec - I’ve never watched anything by either of them so I’m neutral at this point.

[onceupona-chaos]

Shackles and bridges: SJM and the mating bond

I know there are a lot of posts about this, but I wanted to do one myself, so here we go.

DISCLAIMER: This is my interpretation as someone who is a very new member of this fandom and has more contact with “common readers”, since I was one myself until a couple of months ago. Everything here is based on textual evidence and my experience as an avid reader, so take a step back from any ship. But I will talk about the probability of a rejected mating bond, so if that's not your cup of tea, be warned. English is not my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes.

Be kind!

Also, minor spoiler for CC.

The mating bond is the most important element in SJM’s books and it's present in most of the main endgame couples. Aelin and Rowan, Feyre and Rhys, Nesta and Cassian, for example.

It’s described as this precious, sacred bridge between souls - or is it?

SJM is a very formulaic writer. We can draw several parallels with her writing, due to the way she structures her scenes and chooses her words.

We saw this explicitly with Nesta and Cassian in the Solstice scene, which is very similar to the one between Feyre and Rhysand: an emotional discussion, kissing tears away, lovemaking with “say it” and “you’re mine”, mating bond glowing between them, on and on.

Different characters, but same scenario, same process, same wording, almost the same scene.

However, considering that every mated couple until now ends up together HEA, I have the feeling that SJM is starting to explore the mating bond in different ways, otherwise every one of her books would be too… similar? In a way that the reader wouldn’t be surprised anymore, it would be the same story over and over.

To the ones who are faithful to those characters and to her books (her fans), this isn’t exactly a problem, but we have to consider the other readers as well, the bigger audience (SJM sold millions of copies, so not everyone who reads her books is engaged online).

For that exact reason, to approach a narrative element in a different way is very common among writers.

I’ll give you an example with Cassandra Clare and the parabatai bond (SPOILERS from TDA): the parabatai bond is an oath between friends who swear to protect each other. In TMI and TID, we have this bond between friends (Jace and Alec/ Will and Jem) that are almost brothers. However, in TDA, we have two parabatai (Julian and Emma) falling in love with each other, which is extremely forbidden.

The different ways a writer can approach the same elements are important to keep the readers engaged - not the reader who is a fan, but especially the occasional reader. Otherwise, it would be the “if you’ve read one, you’ve read them all” kind of thing, which is no bueno.

With that in mind, I really think SJM is starting to explore/ approach different sides of the mating bond.

Mate—not husband. The Fae had mates: an unbreakable bond, deeper than marriage, that lasted beyond death. (Heir of Fire/ ToG)

“But if they’re blessed, they’ll find their mate—their equal, their match in every way. High Fae wed without the mating bond, but if you find your mate, the bond is so deep that marriage is … insignificant in comparison.”

Another proof that SJM is formulaic: in both ToG and ACOTAR, the bond is presented for the first time in comparison to marriage, as something deeper and sacred.

However, Bryce, main character of CC (SJM book published before ACOSF), looks at it very differently:

“And at least he’s not some psychotic alphahole who will demand a three- day sex marathon and then call me his mate, lock me in his house, and never let me out again.” Which was why Reid—human, okay-at-sex Reid—was perfect.

This is such a contrast. To Bryce, the mating bond would take her freedom away (keep that in mind).

I’m not saying Bryce won’t have a mate or anything like that, but we don’t start reading CC with the same vision about the mating bond presented in the other books: a sacred bond, deeper than marriage. Bryce couldn’t care less about that, not once she wondered if Hunt is her mate.

Therefore, I don’t think SJM finally writing a different story about the mating bond so unthinkable. On the contrary, we see writers doing that all the time.

Also, I’m not saying Elain will reject it, but SJM is not only approaching the mating bond in different ways now, but she already structured a very solid base for a mating bond rejection to happen if she wants to:

ACOWAR

“You said your mother and father were wrong for each other; Tamlin said his own parents were wrong for each other.” I peeled off my dressing robe. “So it can’t be a perfect system of matching. What if”—I jerked my chin toward the window, to my sister and the shadowsinger in the garden—“that is what she needs? Is there no free will? What if Lucien wishes the union but she doesn’t?”

“A mating bond can be rejected”.

SJM already wrote a whole scene to explain the mating bond and how, for some people, is not this sacred thing and it can be rejected. Not only that, she directly approached that Elain could reject it if she wanted to, and that scene involved Lucien and Azriel.

“You are his mate. Do you even know what that means?”

“It means nothing,” Elain said, her voice breaking. “It means nothing. I don’t care who decided it or why they did—”

“You belong to him.”

“I belong to no one. But my heart belongs to you.“

Also in ACOWAR, Elain makes herself very clear: she would have ignored/ rejected the mating bond right there if Graysen still wanted a future with her, because she loved him. She would have chosen to follow her heart without hesitation.

The funny thing is that Azriel - Elain's current love interest - never saw that scene, never saw how Elain vigorously rejected Lucien for someone she loved or the way Graysen rejected her (I’ll leave this information to you).

ACOFAS

Those doe-brown eyes turned toward me. Sharper than I’d ever seen them.

“And that entitles him to my time, my affections?”

“No.” I blinked.

Her mouth tightened, the only sign of anger in her graceful countenance. “I don’t want a mate. I don’t want a male.”

Months go by and Elain is still uncomfortable with the bond.

ACOSF

“I am not always in this city to see my mate.” The last two words dripped with discomfort.

Her brown eyes were wary. Usually, that look was reserved for Lucien.

Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.

At this point, it’s clear: the question "what if the Cauldron was wrong?" didn’t come out of nowhere, not only for Azriel, but in the narrative as well.

SJM had been slowly hinted at for three books now. I know she can change her mind, but if she wants to write about it, she made sure to write the perfect opportunity:

SJM already wrote a scene about the possibility of Elain rejecting the bond, that involved Elain, Lucien and Azriel, so it’s not coming from nowhere;

Lucien compared how different Elain is from the female who he had really loved;

They are both uncomfortable around each other;

Elain is romantically interested in someone else, who was part of that scene back in ACOWAR when we were presented to the possibility;

This someone else (Azriel) is interested in her;

SJM made sure to tie the romantic plot (Elain’s mating bond) with a political plot (Blood Duel);

The political plot is connected to the overarching plot (Autumn Court, Beron and Eris/ Koschei);

Mostly important: Elain is showing for three books that she doesn't want the bond;

"I don't want a mate. I don't want a male."

She literally said that with all the letters.

We can see this dichotomy between shackles (no freedom) x bridge (a connection) regarding Lucien as well.

"(Jesminda) She had chosen him. Elain had been … thrown at him."

He said that Elain had been thrown at him and also that they were shackled.

“Give her time to accept it.”

“To accept a life shackled to me?” (ACOFAS)

And then right in the next book (ACOSF) we have this:

“Well, I didn’t have a choice in being shackled to you, either.”

The declaration slammed into her. Shackled.(…)

Shackled.

Words beckoned, sharp as knives, begging for her to grab one and plunge it into his chest. Make him hurt as much as that one word hurt her.

SJM emphasized what that one word meant by repeating it and using italics. It’s another side of a mating bond: not a bridge of connection, but shackles with no freedom, no choice.

If Nesta was that hurt when Cassian (someone she loves) said that he didn’t get a choice in being "shackled” to her, can you imagine how is it for Elain and to actually have this bond with someone she don't love? And to Lucien as well?

The thing is in terms of storytelling, and by that I mean the plot, it’s undeniable that we already have everything that’s necessary to approach the matter of the mating bond in a way the reader has never seen before.

It’s a huge possibility, one that would make the regular readers interested (we have to remember that, not everyone who reads those books is engaged. They read them when it’s appealing).

If you want to look deeper, we can see little clues that point to that narrative path, too:

Elain shall wed for love and beauty.

The bond Elain had chosen.

Elain cut in sharply, “I am not a child to be fought over.”

Now, why hasn't Elain rejected the bond?

Because a writer doesn’t waist a good plot like that. Simple as that.

Let me tell you: SJM won’t waist that plot because a part of the fandom doesn’t like Elain, because 1) the online fandom itself is just a part of the readers; 2) inside the online fandom there are people who dislike Elain, who are neutral about her and people who like her; 3) SJM already know some people hate Elain, otherwise she wouldn’t have wrote this:

You think Elain is boring?

I think she’s kind, I’ll take kindness over nastiness any day. But I also think we haven’t seen all she has to offer yet.

SJM already told us she likes to write about disliked characters. She will write the story she wants to write and ACOSF is the major proof of that. If it’s a rejection or not, only she knows, everything could happen.

But SJM has been writing about mating bonds for years, do you really think the first time we get to see a rejection it would be for someone else’s POV? Or in a minor plot as if it isn’t a big deal? Especially when this rejection is directly related to a political plot and to the overarching plot?

No, not when SJM has enough material to write 700 pages and more, not when she has the opportunity to make a whole book out of this, one that is something entirely new for the reader, not when SJM built the perfect opportunity herself.

[kaypeace21]

I believe that byler is an endgame

but why would they spend 3 seasons winding up with mileven?

People REALLY need to pay attention to the shows the Duffers cited as huge inspirations to them. Cheers,dawsons creek, freak &geeks did exactly what the Duffers are doing (and the Duffers said these shows inspired them)

. Cheers for over 5 seasons built up the pairing of sam and Dianne- had them break up in the s5 finale and then in the last 2 eps of the 11th season have them get back together and once again break up explaining for the 100th time they were wrong for each other and brought out the worst in eachother . Cheers would build up multiple pairings (Frasier /Lilith (s4-11/broke up in s11) , sam/Dianne (s 1-11, broke up in s11 permanently) , rebecca /sam (s8-10) Rebecca/robin (s8-9) -these pairings lasted for multiple seasons and they all broke up! They built pairings up for multiple seasons but showed throughout the show why those pairing in cheers could never work out in the long term. The same Thing happened with almost every pairing in Dawson’s creek (they’d build up multiple pairings up -sometimes for multiple seasons- sprinkle in good but also dysfunctional aspects of those relationships- and then break them apart for good ).

Also in Dawson’s creek 2 characters (a rich girl and poor guy with daddy issues) date and breakup- but both of their gay brothers get together and are endgame instead of them (cough jancy vs byler). One of the gay guys (the rich one with the book smart sis) even dated the main girl (Joey) for a while before admitting he was gay and that he was in denial (while dating the main girl for more than a season ). In D.C even the main guy(Dawson) / girl (Joey) don’t end up being endgame (despite teasing it for all 5 seasons) . They did this with a lot of couples in the show. Honestly, the Duffers pretty much borrowed this idea of showing pairings with issues and breaking them up -but toned down how long they’d bait them . Like 11seasons of showing dysfunctional couples date -ick. And Dawson’s creek ... my god it had a literal love octogon/ love webs (so many love squares/pentagons/ and on and off relationships). The 1 adult couple broke up and I’m not exaggeration 4 times, and Dawson got back with 2 of his girlfriends like so many times. And ugh I’d say each (of the 4-5) main characters dated at least 4 people -and each of those relationships lasted for like 20+ eps each... and then after all that build up -break up ). That’s not even including the people the main 5 or so characters would date for like 5-6 eps . Thank god it was toned down compared to Dawson’s creek or cheers. i can’t imagine the frustration watching those shows during its airing 😂

Freaks & geeks (set in the 80s)was also inspo.14 y old Sam who is bullied and called “homo” “queer” etc throughout the whole series - he also obsesses over a cheerleader girl for the whole series and in the second to last ep of the series- they finally start dating  and he realizes they have nothing in common and says “it’s boring. all we ever do is makeout.She likes nothing i like. We can’t talk to eachother. We never have fun.” And he admits he only keeps dating her cause everyone would call him “crazy” to not date her. sam and her are also said to be “from different planets” and “different species”  just like mileven in s3 lol.  The gf of  sam also says before they dated she saw him ‘like a sister’ (like El asking mike if he’d be her brother in s1, before they date). And after this sibling comment various characters -encouraged the couple and said they would be good together (before they dated-like what we’ve seen in st with mileven and other ships ).Sam eventually decides to not cave to peer pressure- and breaks up with her. Meanwhile sam’s sis (is a straight A student, who is initially into a popular guy and starts hanging with the cool kids).  After getting over the first (popular) guy, she later dates another guy- a music-obsessed-stoner-guy  with a cruddy dad...and she breaks up with him (like jancy?). That couple was even called ‘romeo & juliet’ before they broke up-similar to mileven being called “romeo & juliet’ before their breakup. plus r&j were never in love... just like mileven.

All 3 shows had the main guy/girl date but not end up with eachother in the end . And both shows -would build up several pairings that looked like endgame but would show faults in those relationships and would have them breakup (because those pairings were never that healthy together). Which I believe is what they’re doing with jancy, jopper, mileven and lumax (explained in my analysis here all the evidence for why I don’t think they don’t end up together). I mean there’s many reasons I listed in the analysis but you think it’s a coincidence - jancy, lumax, mileven , and Steve/rando girl who rejected him in s3-all incorportated spying on their love interest ? you think the duffers think that’s good to have all these romantic pairings spy on eachother? When in the show they canonically have the us gov (villains) spy via phone taps, and hidden recorders, and cameras? Brenner used El as a spy for his own gain ? they even call the mf a ‘spy’ (which the characters perceive as the  main villain)... i don’t think the mf is  actually villainous but that’s off topic).The point is narratively equating spying as something ‘wrong’ by characters our main cast of heroes is against. But having that same cast of heroes partaking in spying themselves … specifically on to their romantic partners- and not also showing it as a negative. But romanticizing it? Would be quite hypocritical. And a HUGE narrative oversight.

Also build up?

S1- mileven kiss right after el asks if he’ll be her “friend” or “brother”. Has others compare el to mike’s sibling /cousin. Hint Will is gay . Have hints mike is queer too/ and cares deeply about Will. Constantly mention how el physically resembles Will/a boy. Parallel mileven to ted/Karen who were “never in love”. Have Nancy and mike verbally compare the jancy/stancy love triangle to mileven/byler . And at the end of the season mike writes a story for Will that likens the 2 to han/leia. Flo says about jancy/Jon “ only love makes you that crazy and that damn stupid”. (Which flo wasn’t entirely right about since jon punched Steve for insulting his family- for Jon it was familial love -not romantic love. But put a pin in that phrase)

S2- was pretty much byler season (and mileven barely interact that season). Byler say they’d go “crazy together”. But el’s new catchphrase is she’s “not stupid.” They Compare mileven to luke/leia (siblings that kissed) . Ref ghostbusters and parallel byler to the romantic pairing of Dana /venkman (but have el just be a ghost and mike a ghost buster which isn’t romantic but the opposite) .parallel mileven to hopper/el. Have el spy on mike, el hurt a stranger cause of unhealthy jealousy, have mileven dance to a song about a possessive spying/Stalking ex gf . Throw in mileven burns like “they’re not in love they’re not even from the same planet.” (El being et ref) . Have mike say annoyed “a bond ?! (Scoff) cause you shared nougat?! “ (egos like s1 ) “. Mike saying after knowing max for a week “hate you? I don’t even know you?” (He knew el for a week too so no way he loves her -cause he doesn’t know el , just like max ) . mike even criticizes his friends’ instant attraction to max saying “you haven’t even spoken a word to her.”Dustin saying “ I don’t have to . I mean -look at her.” Which makes it even more suspicious that mike was into a girl who multiple characters said looked like a boy (specifically Will) in s1. Have El watch a soap opera (all my children) and mimic the scene of  erica kane and her love interest michael. Which in the soap opera-isn’t endgame, and ended with some stalking after their breakup.

S3- mileven is finally dating : multiple characters (lucas, Will, Hopper, dustin,Max, etc) in the show dislike and verbally complain about them together . In cheers all of sam’s friends hated him dating Dianne and would vocally complain about it (similar to joyce they even clapped/cheered after 1 of their many breakups) . Mike is horrified by the spying(that mileven fans romanticized in s2) , el is happier single and neither is heartbroken over the breakup. They date for 2 eps and then breakup . Mileven being together inhibits El’s character arc from s2 (aka she went from wanting to explore the world and leave the cabin in s2 to see her friends, to ignoring her friends and cutting herself off from the world in order to stay in the cabin all day to make out with mike for 6 months - she would literally lie to her friends about curfew to return to the cabin and kiss mike -going against her ‘friends don’t lie’ mantra from the past 2 seasons too ). Mike canonically doesn’t trust her / doesn’t believe in her ability to make decisions and lies to her and never apologizes for lying. And el doesn’t apologize for spying . They throw in more gay hints of mike & Will. Mileven is called “bullshit” like s2 stancy . And Both pairings in the show kissed a bunch and said “I love you” (but they weren’t endgame). They also contrast s3 mileven scenes to s2 byler scenes and have byler win out. And once again parallel mileven to hopper/el and Karen/ted. As well as paralleling and likening Mileven to stancy in numerous other ways (besides the “bullshit “ line) . They also parallel mileven to stobin (both are straight baits) .They parallel the stobin confession to the mileven one -both confessions have them sitting on the floor, both girls have bandages on their legs, and both confessions are interrupted by dustin. Also both Steve/mike use the terms “crazy & stupid ” to confess to robin/el. But unlike Will who agrees to be “crazy “ with mike .El confused , asks “ what makes you crazy?” And robin says she didn’t have a crush on his “stupid hair”. el even says in reference to mike “there’s more to life than stupid boys.” Showing how el/robin don’t have romantic feelings for the boys-like the flo phrase of s1. Unlike Will who after fighting with mike calls himself “stupid” over and over and rips up the photo of him and mike where they promised to go “crazy together.” Even Steve says in s2 stancy should should “pretend to be stupid teenagers” in love. Emphasis on “pretend”. And when el says she loves mike “the first I love you” plays -the only other time that song plays in s3 is when robin rejects Steve (cause she’s gay.) cough cause mike is gay too.

There’s a lot more in each season (that illustrates mileven was built up -but not as a positive couple but a problematic one that was never was in love to begin with ). But I’m trying to keep this short . You can read this post here where I go in more depth about all of this .

S1-2 builds up the problematic ships (but showed good and bad aspects of their dynamic) . like the spying of jancy, lumax, and mileven or the jealousy. of Hopper in s2. In the s2 finalie they have them kiss or hug/exchange romantic glances. And in S3 we see the after math of this with all the couples officially dating - and they show all the couples issues at the forefront . I already talked about mileven. But, Lumax broke up 6 times (they dated for 6 months- and every month they dated max dumped him ). Jancy fight in the opening of ep 1 and don’t understand each others issues (sexism/poverty-and Jon’s issues with his dad) . And neither supports the other in their passions of journalism & photography.Nancy is also called “nancy drew” who in 1986 (year of s4) before going to college dumps her long term highschool bf (who helped her in many of her past mysteries/novels ). Their relationship was also shown as complex and somewhat dysfunctional because of both parties -before nancy drew dumps him. And (even if not dating like the other pairings) jopper almost go on a date in s3. Joyce was trying to hide the fact she was moving, Hopper was horribly jealous, and all they did was yell and argue.Murray says to joyce regarding hopper “he’s a brute... probably reminds you of a bad relationship” (aka lonnie/Joyce) . They even have Joyce watch a cheers ep- which directly compares jopper to (dianne/Frasier) who weren’t endgame in cheers but a rebound .  Hopper /fraiser both drink chianti . Fraiser asks dianne to marry him/Hopper asks Joyce on a date-both women stand them up. Or when Joyce asks Hopper out she calls her self ‘detective byers ‘and Hopper name drops miami vice. Which had an on and off again relationship for several seasons- of the male /female detectives.The relationship faded out as Gina realized they mainly got together when one or both needed someone. Crockett was very protective of Gina, and had some jealousy when Gina was involved in relationships , but was the first one to be there for her when things went wrong. And they realized it was better to not be together romantically. Heck seems like all these couples have negative film/tv parallels... lucas in s2 mentions not liking winston in ghost busters cause he came ‘super late’ (like Max). in s1 disses michael myers (which Max dressed as). And at the end of s3- lumax dress identically to eric/donna from a ep of that 70s shows (in the ep  eric/donna were broken up).

 (s3 was marketed as the “summer of love” and “summer love” is a euphemism for flings that don’t last.) s4-5 Will probably show good healthy ships/break up the problematic ones from past seasons .

So first 2 seasons focus on the unhealthy ships / and the last 2 seasons focus on healthy ships. S3 the middle season would be considered the turning point -and why none of the popular ships (assumed to be endgame) came off looking that great (compared to how they were presented in s1-2) .

[him-e]

what did you think of shadow and bone? have you read the books? i only read the duology

Thoughts on Shadow and Bone, now that you've probably seen it?

I think the show is alright? It lacks a real wow factor as far as I’m concerned, but it’s enjoyable. It’s especially enjoyable in those parts I didn’t anticipate to like / didn’t even know would be there. 

Whereas the main selling points leave a lot to be desired.

The good stuff: the visuals. The aesthetic. The overall concept. Production, casting and costumes are excellent, the setting is fascinating. The worldbuilding isn’t perfect and is sometimes confusing, which is probably due to the show jumping ahead of the books and introducing elements that happen much later in the book saga, but I’m loving the vague steampunk-y vibe of it mixed with more typical fantasy stuff and slavic-inspired lore, the fact that it’s set in dystopian Russia rather than your usual ye olde England.

I find it interesting that in this ‘verse the Grisha are simultaneously superstars, privileged elite, legendary creatures and despised outcasts, according to the context and the type of magic they wield. It’s A Lot, and so far it’s all a bit underdeveloped and messy, like a patchwork of different narratives and tropes sewn together without an organic worldbuilding structure. (there are hints to a past when they were hunted, but how did they go from that to being, essentially, an institutionalized asset to the government isn’t clear yet. There’s huge narrative potential in this, and I hope future seasons will delve into those aspects)

Many of the supporting characters are surprisingly solid. I appreciated that Genya and Zoya eventually sort of traded places, subverting the audience’s assumptions about them and their own character stereotypes, despite the little screentime they were given.

Breakout characters/ships for me were Nina/Matthias, and even more so the Crows, i.e. the stuff I didn’t see coming and knew nothing about (having only read the first book). (I thought the entire Crows subplot was handled in a somewhat convoluted way, at least in the first episodes; it was hard to keep track of who wanted Alina and why, but the Crows’ chemistry is so strong it carried the whole Plot B on its shoulders).

HELNIK. As an enemies to lovers dynamic, Helnik was SUPER on the nose, I’d say bordering on clichéd with the unapologetic, straight outta fanfiction use of classic tropes like “we need to team up to survive” and “there’s only one bed and we’ll freeze to death if we don’t take our conveniently damp clothes off and keep each other warm with the heat of our naked bodies” (not that I’m complaining, but i like to pine for my ships a bit before getting to the juicy tropetown part, tyvm). And then they’re suddenly on opposite sides again because of a tragic misunderstanding - does Bardugo hate high-conflict dynamics? It certainly seems so, because between Helnik and Darklina I’m starting to see a pattern where the slow burn and blossoming mutual trust is rushed and painted in broad, stereotypical strokes to get as fast as possible to the part where they *hate each other again* and that’s... huh. Something.

^That’s probably why I’m almost more interested in Kaz x Inej, because their relationship feels a bit more nuanced, a bit more mysterious, and a bit more unpredictable. (I didn’t bother spoiling myself about them, so I really don’t know where they’re going, but it’s refreshing to see a dynamic that the narrative isn’t scrambling to define in one direction or the other as quickly as possible)

-

Now, as for Darklina VS Malina... I found exactly what I expected. 

Both are ship dynamics I’m, on principle, very much into (light heroine/dark villain, pining friends to lovers) but both are also much less interesting than they claim to be, or could have been with different narrative choices. I’ll concede that the show characters are all more fleshed out and likable than their book counterparts, and the cringe parts I vaguely remembered from the books played out differently. And, well, Ben Barnes dominates the scene, he’s hot as HELL, literally every single second he’s on screen is a fuck you to Bardugo’s attempts to make his character lame and uninteresting and I’m LOVING it, lol.

But yeah, B Barnes aside, Darklina is intrinsically, deliberately made to be unshippable. 

It makes me mad, because it’s - archetypally speaking - made of shipping dynamite: yin/yang-sun and moon, opposites attract, COMPLEMENTARY POWERS AND SO ON. And what does Bardugo do with these ingredients? A FUCKING DELIBERATE DISASTER:

^ Placing the kiss so early on (season 1, episode five) effectively kills the romantic tension that was (correctly) building up until that point, and leaves the audience very little to still hope for, in terms of emotional evolution of the dynamic. 

Bardugo lays all the good stuff down as early and quickly as possible (the bonding, the conflicted attraction, the recognizing the other as one’s equal, etc) only to turn the tables and pull the rug so y’all sick creepyshippers won’t have anything to look forward to, because THEY’VE ALREADY HOOKED UP AND THAT BELONGS TO THE PAST, IT’S OVER, THEY’RE ENEMIES. This, combined to the fact that she falls for him *without* knowing who he really is, is the opposite of what I want from a heroine/villain ship (it’s basically lovers to enemies, and while that can be valid too, I wanted to see more pining and more prolonged, tormented symbolic attraction to the Shadow/Animus on Alina’s part). 

But here’s the trick: it’s not marketed as lovers to enemies - it has all the aesthetics and trappings of an enemies to lovers (the Darkling is, from the get go, villain-presenting, starting from his name), so it genuinely feels like a trollfic, or at the very least a cautionary tale *against* shipping the heroine with the tall dark brooding young villain, and I don’t think it’s cool at all. It makes the story WAY less interesting, because it humanizes the villain early on (when it’s not yet useful or poignant to the story, because it’s unearned) but it’s a red herring. The real plot twist is that the villain shouldn’t be sympathized with, just defeated: there’s a promise of nuanced storytelling, that is quickly denied and tossed aside. So is the idea of incorporating your Shadow (a notion that Bardugo must be familiar with, otherwise she wouldn’t have structured Alina and the Darkling as polar opposites who complement each other, but that she categorically refutes)

Then we have Malina. The good ship.

Look, I’m not that biased against it. I don’t want to be biased on principle against a friends to lovers dynamic that antagonizes a heroine/villain one, because every narrative is different, and for personal reasons I can deeply relate to the idea of being (unspeakably) in love with your best friend. So there are aspects of Malina that I can definitely be into, but it troubles me that in this specific context it’s framed as a regression. It’s Alina’s comfort zone, a fading dream of happiness from an idealized childhood, to sustain which the heroine systematically stunts her growth and literally repressed her own powers, something that in the books made her sickly and weak. But the narrative weirdly romanticizes this codependency, often making her tunnel vision re: going back to Mal her primary goal and centering on him her entire backstory/motivation, to the point that when she starts acting more serious re: her powers and alleged mission to destroy the Fold, it feels inorganic and unearned. 

Mal is intrinsically extraneous to Alina’s powers, he doesn’t share them, he doesn’t understand them, he has little to offer to help her with them, and so the feeling is that he’s also extraneous to her heroine’s journey, aside from being a sort of sidekick or safe harbor to eventually come back to. People have compared him to Raoul from Phantom of the Opera, and yeah, he has the same ~magic neutralizer~ vibe, tbh.

The narrative also polarizes Mal’s normalcy and relative “safety” against Aleksander’s sexy evil, framing Alina’s quasi-platonic fixation on the former as a better and purer form of love than her (much more visible and palpable) attraction to the latter. This is exacerbated by the show almost entirely relying on scenes of them as kids to convey their bond. I’m sure there are ways to depict innocent pining for your best friend that don’t involve obsessively focusing on flashbacks of two CHILDREN running in a meadow and looking exactly like brother and sister. LIKE. I get it, they’re like soulmates in every possible way, BUT DO THEY WANT TO KISS EACH OTHER?

Which brings me to a general complain: for a young adult saga centering on a young heroine and full of so many hot people, this story is weirdly unsexy? There are a lot of shippable dynamics, but they’re done in such a careless, ineffective way that makes ZERO EFFORT to work on stuff like slow burn, pining and romantic tension, and when it does it’s so heavy handed that the viewer doesn’t feel encouraged at all to fill the blanks with their imagination and start anticipating things (which is, imo, the ESSENCE of shipping). The one dynamic that got vaguely close to this is, again, Kaz and Inej, and coincidentally it’s also the one we didn’t get confirmed as romantic YET. Other than that, where’s the slow burn? What ship am I supposed to agonize over during the hiatus to season two? Has shipping become something to feel ashamed of, like an embarrassing relative you no longer want to invite in your home?

Anyway, back to Alina/Darkling/Mal, this is how the story reads to me:

girl suspects to be special, carefully pretends to be normal so she can stay with Good Boy

the girl’s powers eventually manifest; she’s forcibly separated from Good Boy

the girl’s powers attract Bad Boy who is her equal and opposite but is also a major asshole

girl initially falls for Bad Boy; has to learn a hard lesson that nobody that sexy will ever want her for who she is, he’s just trying to exploit her

also, no, there is no such thing as a Power Couple

girl is literally given a slave collar by Bad Boy through which he harnesses her power (a parody of the Twin Scars trope)

you know how the story initially suggested that the joint powers of Darkness and Light would defeat evil? LOL NO, Darkness is actually evil itself and the way you destroy evil is using Light to destroy Darkness, forget that whole Jungian bullshit of integrating your shadow, silly!

conclusion: girl realizes being special sucks. She was right all along! Hiding and suppressing her powers was the best choice! She goes back to the start, to the same Good Boy she was meekly pining for prior to the start of the story.

... there’s an uncomfortable overall subtext that reads a lot like a cautionary tale against - look, not just against darkships and villain/heroine pairings, but also *overpowered* heroines and, well... change? Growth?

Like, it’s certainly a Choice that Alina starts the story *already* in love with Mal. That she always knew it was him. The realization could have happened later (making the dynamic much more shippable, too), but no. 

[chriscdcase95]

Ginger Snaps: Brigitte Fitzgerald headcanons

This is a follow up of sorts to an older post of mine,  Ginger Snaps + Jennifer’s Body headcanons/prompts and some ideas in that post are carried over to here.

This also has to do with an upcoming AO3 story I will work on once I’m done Loves Sacrifices, that’ll mix Ginger Snaps, The Craft, and Jennifer’s Body. So far it’s only in the idea stages and not all of these are set in stone.

I figured I didn’t put enough focus on Brigitte in the previous post, and Brigitte herself doesn’t get enough love on this site as her sister. Since Brigitte has been a comfort character of mine for like a decade, I figured I rectify that.

1. For all intents and purposes, werewolves differ here than they do in the Ginger Snaps movies. Since it’s not directly mentioned in the movies, I choose to ignore the idea of “permanent change” for these stories. Werewolves here are portrayed closer to The Vampire Diaries depictions.

2. Brigitte’s final fate, obviously isn’t trapped in Ghost’s basement. In fact, I see her escaping and going free just after the events of Unleashed. While I long subscribe to the idea of Ginger’s resurrection or even Sam not only surviving but becoming a werewolf himself, I’m not sure they’d have anything to do with it. The main events of this story are gonna be set in 2010.

3. In fact, I see Brigitte traveling Canada and the states to come to terms with being a werewolf - as opposed to fighting it or wholeheartedly embracing it - for about a decade before she see’s either Ginger or Sam again. I see Brigitte having few people she can trust, and had a few toxic relationships after she escaped Ghost. Brigitte undoubtedly deserves better, but I think it would be a few years before she goes back to Bailey Downs.

Among the places I can see Brigitte visiting over the years, includes Mystic Falls (The Vampire Diaries/Legacies), Beacon Hills (Teen Wolf) and Devils Kettle (Jennifer’s Body). If she got her high school graduate, she would attend Silas University (Carmilla: The Series). Whitechapel, Ontario (My Babysitter’s a Vampire) is also a neighboring town to Bailey Downs.

4. If and when Ginger and Brigitte meet again, I see them having a relationship comparable to Eda and Lilith Clawthorn of The Owl House. I just haven’t decided who would be who in that scenario.

5. Speaking of Ghost, here’s a fun fact; Orphan Black and Ginger Snaps are canonically part of the same universe - same creators, same locations, etc. With this in mind I like to imagine that Ghost from Unleashed is a Project Leda clone. 

This doesn’t have anything really to do with the story, but it is a headcanon I genuinely held for a long time. 

6. I’m not gonna lie, I have considered parenting prompts for either Fitzgerald sister; I’ve been writing and scrapping ideas for these two for a decade, but one that kept coming back to me was the idea of one of them becoming a mother. Some versions it’s Brigitte, others it’s Ginger

It’s not a set in stone idea admittedly, and honestly, I lean more to a Needifer parenting nowadays - and even then that was filtered by both Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried being moms IRL. Again, it’s not set in stone.

7.  Brigitte is a not-co-closeted nerd and Star Wars fangirl.  We are talking Laura Hollis levels of cultured geek girl, that Brigitte rarely shows due to her usual demeanor.

Specifically, she’s a Star Wars Legends enthusiast (The Thrawn Trilogy and New Jedi Order are her personal favorites. Should she see the New Canon came out, Brigitte would be pretty cool with it, and take to writing on AO3, creating a fanon timeline that combines Canon and Legends. It turned into a collaborative effort with her friends.

With the above, at one point in their childhood, the Fitzgerald sisters dressed as Star Wars characters for Halloween. Brigitte went as Leia, and Ginger went as Mara Jade.

8. This one ties in with one of my previous posts; The Craft + Sarah x Nancy Headcanons. It’s also one of the few ideas that are set in stone.

Among the people Brigitte encounters on her travels, I can see her meeting and becoming very close to Sarah Bailey and Nancy Downs.

I mean, all three of them are long time Comfort Characters of mine, and the fact that Emily Perkins is a Fairuza Balk fan IRL may have influenced this idea. It thought it would be a waste to not link the three together. I personally see Sarah and Nancy reaching out to Brigitte upon finding out her predicament, helping her come to terms with her being a werewolf. “Mentorship” isn’t exactly the word I’d use, but it comes pretty close to what I have in mind.

I don’t know if it will tie into my prompt of Sarah and Nancy as a swinger couple - I can see it happening, although the only other person I seriously shipped Brigitte with was with Sam.

Either way, Sarah, Nancy and the coven are some of the few people Brigitte is on good terms with by 2010.

9. Brigitte has a hidden musical talent, and likes to sing when she’s alone or thinks she’s alone. She is a wiz on the piano, and has a singing voice comparable to Leona Lewis and Christina Aguilera. She isn’t open about her talents, and during her high school years, only about three people heard her singing voice and that was because they’d walk past a seemingly empty music class while Brigitte was alone with the piano.

Of course, Brigitte mostly does covers. In 1999, Brigitte did a cover to Nine Inch Nails Hurt, but Ginger told her that song wouldn’t exactly catch on. There was one song that Brigitte originally wrote, about her and Ginger’s relationship - it ended up being plagiarized by a toxic boyfriend Brigitte briefly had, who went on to use it in his band, Low Shoulder.

Another favorite of Brigitte’s as (surprisingly) Britney Spears Lucky - not that she’s a Spears fan in general, but Brigitte caught on to things pretty quickly and was way ahead of her time; she was in the Free Britney crowd all the way back in 1999.

The main reason why Brigitte doesn’t utilize her talents, on top of all her other problems, can be boiled down to her being stage shy.

[space-girl-and-droids-art]

Clone Wars: Stories of Light and Dark- Book Review

“Clone Wars: Stories of Light and Dark” Is an anthology of stories narrating some of the arcs of the clone wars from the perspective of the characters. It gives more details and depth to some episodes, as well as giving us information that makes us have a different view of the events.

This is not exactly a review, but mostly my reactions to reading the book. I do recommend it, if you loved the clone wars and want another perspective on some of the arcs this will be a good read. That said, this does contain spoilers for the clone wars.

#1 “Sharing the same Face” -Jason Fry (from the episode “Ambush”)

Okay this was once one of the most light-hearted episodes of the series and now I ended up crying. I did not expect an order 66 reference here. Every time Yoda addresses Dooku is painful. Seeing how Yoda perceives the clones is really heart-warming, but knowing how it all turns out in the end is really sad and during the whole text you are really aware of that. In the show you kind of forget about what’s going to happen for a while, but this text just keeps you thinking about it constantly. It was a good read, I loved it. I found it really interesting knowing Yoda approaches the clones the same way he approached his students at the temple, and knowing what his opinions on the clone army it was a good detail. Loved this one.

Did I care that much about this episode before? No. But watching it right after reading this made me cry for half an hour. (I am a really emotional person, so take this with a grain of salt.)

#2 “Dooku Captured”- Lou Anders (From the episodes “Dooku Captured” and “Gungan General”.

This was a funny read, and the fact that the events are narrated by Dooku Himself made it even more hilarious. It’s supposedly a holorecording Dooku was doing for Sidious, and you can tell by his words that he was so done. Poor Dooku deserves a meditation day after it. You can tell how annoyed he was by the whole situation and his perception of Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi. They really are bothering for the count. I’m surprised he didn’t retire after this event, man’s gotta be really tired. Also, when they were tied together, they just shared a braincell and most of the time, Dooku was the one carrying it. The love he had for Qui-Gon does not extend to rest of the lineage, clearly.

At first it was really slow, but after they get captured by the pirates it just gets funnier. Good story to read after the sadness the previous text gave me.

Also, the fact that Dooku canonically records himself venting to Sidious is hilarious to me. Like, can you imagine being Palpatine and receiving daily vlogs from your apprentice ranting and complaining about Anakin and Obi-Wan? Dude was tired, of course he would let Anakin decapitate him in the end.

#3 “Hostage Crisis”- Preeti Chhibber (from the episode “Hostage Crisis”)

For an Anidala shipper this is a must read, because you will know exactly what Anakin thinks of his wife and how he views Padmé. This text was more Anakin centric (I believe the next one is Padmé centric) and it was a delight. I haven’t read much in canon about stuff that involves Anakin’s feelings so this was really good.

The scene from the beginning of the episode? Is hotter when you read it, trust me. For a clearly SFW text, this was intense. I’m pretty sure I can guess all of Anakin’s kink only by what was implied in his thoughts. Is also really sweet to see how much she cares, but also know why everything went downhill at the end. Good retelling.

#4 “Pursuit of Peace”- Anne Ursu (from the episodes “Heroes on both sides” and “Pursuit of Peace”)

I really love Padmé Amidala. My favorite senator. If you have seen my review of Queen’s Peril you KNOW How much I love her, and even when this text was written by another author, I still got the same feeling about her. Padmé is amazing. This arc is one of my favorite of the Clone wars because it’s the arc that let you see that it wasn’t a black and white kind of situation, both sides were being played. An none of them were really worrying about their people, they were in it for the money. I love reading Padmé’s thoughts on the whole situation. Also, the way this story is written makes what went down with Padmé and Anakin in the third episode make more sense and more in character. She is a strong, good, and smart politician. But she is also motivated to see the light in the dark and preserve the light, it gave me major Qui-Gon from “Master and Apprentice” vibes. It did make me tear up a little, because when I finished it, I realized everything she did was for nothing. She was too kind in a galaxy already so corrupted.

Also, Palpatine stop calling her “my child” you disgusting sith lord, I know you are responsible for her death and so do you, so shut the f up. Padmé was doing everything right and she hasn’t done anything wrong in her life whatsoever.

“Just because there’s darkness in something does not mean you do not love it. You show it love, you show it light, and you hope it chooses the light”.

She was talking about the senate but you just KNOW she isn’t really talking about the senate.

This story re-telling broke me, just as the first one. I am not ready for the next one. Do I have to? Man, I really don’t want to go through Umbara again.

#5 “The Shadow of Umbara” -Yoon Ha Lee (from the episodes "Darkness on Umbara," "The General," "Plan of Dissent," and "Carnage of Krell”)

I was, indeed, not ready for it. It doesn’t really add much to the story… except pain. Rex’s pain, to be precise. Let my man mourn Hardcase :C I just wanted to give him a hug, him and all of the clones to be honest. Fives was as good as always, but re-reading his lines knowing what happens to him made me sad. I hate Pong Krell, get you dirty hands off my babies. I don’t think this re- telling made me sadder, but that’s only because it was just as painful as the episodes.

Dogma my beloved, you deserve everything.

I love how this arc develops Rex character and his attitude towards the war in general.

#6 “Bane’s Story”- Tom Angleberger (from the episodes “Deception”, “Friends and Enemies”, “The Box” and “Crisis on Naboo”.)

Is Cad Bane the Regina George of the Bounty Hunters?

The answer is yes. Yes, he is.

I wasn’t really excited to read about Cad Bane at first, I felt that everything that had to be said about the guy had already been stated in the show. He was just a mean bounty hunter in space. But this was actually pretty funny to read, specially because it’s narrated in first person from Bane’s perspective on what happened with Kenobi. And it’s hilarious.

He is basically re telling the events to Boba and Bossk while he is in jail again. During his story you can learn a few things about him as well, specially what his thoughts are in relation to some important topics. You would think he is only concerned about the money and blasting people, and you would be right. But he also does have an opinion on what’s happening on the galaxy at large, on the jedi, on Palpatine and Dooku. But those opinions don’t affect how he gets the job done. It was really interesting seeing him internally judging Kenobi for being a liar, and knowing something is wrong with the jedi order if they pulled that off. He knows everyone is being deceived, but doesn’t know how. That’s why he doesn’t care, and doesn’t get involved on anything unless you offer to pay him. Money moves him, but not the people who has it.

It was a good story, and I also liked to see how Bane respects Boba and sees him as the one that’s going to take his place eventually.

We know from the deleted episodes that Cad Bane was supposed to be killed by Boba Fett, but we haven’t seen that in canon yet. I really hope they answer what happened to Cad Bane in the current canon, I would love to see that in a comic, or in a book.

#7 “The lost nightsister”- Zoraida Cordova (from the episode “Bounty”)

I love Asajj Ventress for a million reasons and this story just made me love her even more. It’s the same story from the episodes but with an insight of what Ventress is thinking about. Which is unsurprisingly very depressing but the story itself turns out to be pretty uplifting.

It’s about her thoughts on what happened after the massacre of her sisters, her family, and how she deals with everything she had already lost. How lonely and worthless she feels. But during the course of the story, we see her reconnecting with who she is, and learning her value. Learning she is a powerful person, master or not.

It was also really sad to see how she compared herself to others. She was really sad and angry that nobody cared about what happened to her people, no one that cared about her. She saw how people wanted the girl in the box back and thought about how nobody would ever do the same for her and it was sad.

I also find very depressing that she couldn’t mourn her family.

But then she said this:

“What made her so special? What made her worth—No. She couldn’t think that way. This girl’s worth didn’t diminish her own. “

And like, I’m 100% rooting for her here.

Also, I love that once she realized the girl from the box was being smuggled to be essentially a child bride, she didn’t hesitate to scam the old creep. She may be an assassin, but during the course of this story you learn that she is disgusted by men who take advantage of female beings. I also love her internal monologue after the guy was bothering her in the cantina and how she just knows that if she can defend herself, she will do it with no hesitation.

Lovely story, I love knowing more about Ventress. Beautifully written.

#8"Dark Vengeance”-Rebecca Roanhorse (from the episodes "Brothers" and "Revenge")

It’s so on brand for Darth Maul to have his entire story be about Kenobi. It’s narrated by him, but directed towards you, like he is telling the reader a story. That in some stories could be like an awkward thing, but here it was well done. I love Maul and like, I could picture us having that conversation, well, me listening to him monologuing.

I really liked that he started telling the story from the events that happened on Naboo. You get to really see what happened from his perspective and understand why his hatred of Kenobi only grows over time.

Also, Darth Maul was like “I can excuse murder, but I draw the line at being rude”. Which is so morally wrong, but very fitting to his character. He is really upset at Kenobi for not caring about what happened to him. From what I gathered of the info that he let us know, he would probably like it more if Kenobi killed him instead of having to spend all those years in the garbage. Nobody cared for him enough to go and check up on what happened to him. That doesn’t excuse murder though.

The interactions he had with Kenobi let us know that it was not very jedi like the way he treated Maul, ignoring his rage and letting it consume him. Obi-wan just kept adding fuel to the fire because he was also really angry at Maul for the murder of Qui-Gon, not realizing that that would only make Maul be even angrier. And we know how that ended up for Satine Kenobi.

Final thoughts: Savage, I love you.

#9 "Almost a Jedi"-Sarah Beth Durst (from the episode "A Necessary Bond")

I thought this story was going to be from Ahsoka’s point of view. It was not.

I’m not mad at it though.

The story itself does focus on Ahsoka but it’s narrated by Katooni. It’s basically about how much she adores Ahsoka and wants to be like her, but also doubts herself a lot. She thinks she is not good enough to be a jedi. But her experiences both with Ahsoka and with Hondo Ohnaka makes her change her mind.

I want to say that I love the fact that it’s canon that she drew a poster of Ahsoka for her room because she really admired her that much it's so wholesome. It’s cute, and also let us see the perception the younglings had of Ahsoka.

Also, the bond between Hondo and Katooni is really wholesome. This also made me realize that this encounter with a young jedi is the reason he is immediately friendly with Ezra in Rebels. Ezra and Katooni do share similar personality traits sometimes.

Deep diving in Wookiepedia after reading this I found out that Hondo’s ship in Galaxy’s Edge is called “The Katooni” and now I’m sad thinking he was probably devastated when he learnt about Order 66 and what Vader did to the younglings. Great now I’m angsty about a chaotic evil space pirate.

I think it was confirmed by Dave Filoni that those kids are dead now. May the force be with them, they were good enough jedis.

#10 "Kenobi's Shadow"-Greg van Eekhout (from the episode "The Lawless”)

This is the re-telling of one of the saddest clone wars episodes. The episode just lets you think that everything’s going to be alright, that they are going to survive together, lets you hope that they take off just in time… and then it doesn’t happen. I’m still not over Satine’s death. And this made it even sadder. There were so many points their story could’ve gone differently, but their story was already at an end.

This is in third person but heavily focusing on Kenobi’s thoughts along the way. He really was close to turn to the dark side, but his love for Satine and his grief made him not surrender to it. But he felt an anger, a justified one, but an anger that I have never seen in a jedi other than Anakin Skywalker. And we all know what happens to him.

It was a good but sad reading. I won’t be reading this one again. It’s too much. I knew what was going to happen and it still hit me hard. I wish things would’ve gone differently for the both of them. I wonder if we will get flashbacks to this in the Kenobi show.

Also, I really need an Obi-Wan Kenobi and Satine book of their time on the run.

#11 "Bug"-E. Anne Convery (inspired by the episode "Massacre”)

I can’t talk openly about this story because it’s not actually featured on the clone wars. It’s a really good story, specially if you want to expand on the lore regarding Dathomir and the Nightsister in the new canon. It’s perfectly executed, and even when the story isn’t about any of the main characters it hooked me from start to finish. Definitely one of my favorite stories of the book and If I had to pick one story from this anthology to read again it would be this one.

It has more gruesome details than the others and the atmosphere is dark, and I loved it. I would read a whole Dathomirian Nightsister novel written by this author if it was in this exact same style. I really liked it a lot.

In summary, I really enjoyed reading this Anthology. I would really recommend it to anyone who is fond of the Clone Wars or the prequels era. Adults, Kids, Teens, Young adults. I think I would’ve enjoyed this book as a kid as well, and I enjoyed it a lot now in my early twenties. It contains a little bit of everything and that makes it a really complete anthology.

[punkpoemprose]

A Convenient Arrangement Part 8

Universe: Canonverse Arranged Marriage AU Rating:T Length: 5547 Words A/N: They talk about the Hans thing. Prepare yourselves for feelings!

My plans for the new year are to finish some fics so you can start expecting at least one chapter per week of one of my current WIPs. It might be a different fic each week, it may be the same fic for a while and then change, or what have you. I’m playing it by ear at this point! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Know there is fluff to come!

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7]

Dinner had been informative to say the least. Elsa had introduced herself in a more personal capacity, informing him that he may call her by just her first name so long as they were in private. After a short bout of questioning him about his life before the wedding, asking about how he’d come to be under the protection of the trolls, and what ice harvesting was like, she’d seemed content in the knowledge that he had no intentions of hurting Anna or anyone else for that matter.

For his honesty, he’d been rewarded with the assurance that while she couldn’t promise him an open-door policy, she had seen enough of his interactions with her sister to want to assist him in his acclimation to life in the castle if possible. She’d also commented on her own discomfort in her role, which was more comforting to Kristoff than anything else she could have said.

If the Queen isn’t comfortable being royal, I suppose I’m allowed a pass.

Anna had held his hand under the table throughout dinner, her fingers twined with his in a now familiar way. She’d encouraged him and her sister to share throughout the conversation with touch and looks and quiet comments despite still appearing quite pale. He knew that they’d need to speak about that later even when he’d been sitting at her side. He wouldn’t press her for details, but he had a feeling she needed to share them.

In the quieter moments as they dined, he’d found that there was a kinship he could find in the Queen. She was quiet, shy, content to listen to others speak before offering her own words. He could appreciate that.

Anna had spoken during the meal, tentatively, of her sister’s preference to be alone, and he could see the hurt in both women’s eyes when they spoke of it. That too, he could understand. He’d never been a people person, and he’d spent much of his life independently, just spending time with family from time to time and his fellow harvesters when he needed to do so for work.

Elsa seemed to him to be introverted, protective, and anxious.

I can deal with that.

They had the same goal after all.

They wanted Anna happy and safe.

The knock wasn’t a surprise to him, or at least it wasn’t as much as it might have been a few days before. On their wedding night he’d never imagined that they would continue to spend their evenings together. A friendship was something that they’d both wanted to build, but he already knew that the path they were on was going to lead to more than friendship.

He’d never wanted that before, but with Anna, his wife, he imagined a life and a true marriage beyond one in name alone. They’d been together for less than a week and he was already feeling comfortable at her side, and more surprising to him, he had the distinct impression that she was comfortable at his.

“You can come in.”

No sooner did he say the words than Anna entered the room in her nightgown. This one was different than the last he’d seen her in. It was a soft green color, and while it wasn’t as revealing as her chemise, there was something about it that had him flushing. Maybe it had less to do with the garment and more to do with the intentional way she was wearing her nightwear into his space, not out of necessity, but out of desire for his company.

“Hi.”

It was a quiet sound, an uncertain one, and he understood. They’d only slept separately once, but of the evenings they’d shared a bed, the first had been an accident he wasn’t even certain she knew of, and the other had been out of necessity. Her entering his room now, at the time they were both preparing to lay down for the night, showed an unwillingness to spend the night alone.

“Hey.”

He didn’t know what else to say. He was too busy staring at her, memorizing the way her wavy hair hung loose around her shoulders, the way her flush carried across her cheeks and how she was pressing her lips together in a sort of nervous smile. Her hands were at her side, clenching, opening, moving slightly, like she wasn’t sure what to do with them. He couldn’t help but grin when she let her shoulders relax and waved of all things.

So he waved back, and stepped back into the room a bit more, beckoning her in. It wasn’t a wholly organic thing for him, to invite her into the room like it truly was his space. It didn’t feel like it, not like his cabin had.

She stepped in, the trepidation evident in the slow way she stepped forward. He was simply glad that he’d already dressed in his night clothes, one of the few things that they’d managed to find in his size in the markets. He’d soon have to meet with a tailor, and while he wasn’t exactly looking forward to having a bunch of overly formal articles of clothing fitted and sewn for him, he had to admit that the clothes he’d brought back with him we’re exactly proper when compared to what Anna wore each day. Even her simplest clothes seemed to be ornately embroidered.

“I… I don’t know what I…”

She sighed, then started again, “Sorry to interrupt you. I just, I don’t know. I thought that you might?”

She gestured toward the bed, and then flushed. He thought that she looked a bit comical, holding back when it was obvious to him what she wanted.

“I mean, not like that. Not yet. I just thought… You know, we could talk, and then maybe I’d stay. Like at the cabin.”

“I’d like that.”

It was so simple to say, and it was the truth. He very much liked the idea of her staying the night with him. He’d been surprised how easy it was for him to sleep with her at his side before, how right it had felt to hold her in the night. He’d surprised himself by not wanting to leave the bed in the morning even after he was sure that she was awake, so that she wanted to stay with him again, sharing the space, was a comfort.

She feels it too.

***

Anna was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, laying a foot away from his side in his bed, their fingers interlaced and resting above the blankets between them. He’d welcomed her into his room, into his bed, and with no expectation beyond conversation and a good night’s sleep. She’d only wanted that as well of course, but when she was faced again with him without a shirt, she felt a bit warm all over.

Stop thinking about more. You’ll just hurt yourself.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, squeezing his hand lightly, “For not asking me any questions during dinner. I’m sure you have plenty.”

She stared up at the ceiling, doing her best not to look at him lest she let her eyes wander across his chest. He had the blanket rolled down to his waist, and it would be too easy for her to sit up a bit and let her gaze cross his chest, down to the soft but strong planes of his stomach, and to the waist of his night trousers. Their relationship was too young for her to allow herself what lay below. They’d only known each other briefly.

She also couldn’t look at him while she brought up Hans again, even subtly. She was terrified to see pity in his eyes, or worse, disgust. Now that her sister had given him a better sense of the reason for their marriage, she was terrified that he’d not want her.

You’re flighty. You’re ditzy. You want love so bad you’ll take the first man who looks at you. If only there was someone who loved you.

“I do,” he replied simply, “But I won’t ask anything of you. You’ll tell me in your own time.”

“And what if that time never comes?”

What man would want a woman who won’t tell him her history? What man would want a woman who wouldn’t sleep with him on their wedding night?

“Then I’ll have to be content with that. I think I am content with that. If you never tell me it’s more my fault than yours, because it would mean I hadn’t given you cause enough to trust me with it.”

She rolled to the side and found him looking at her. She’d felt his eyes on her, and she saw now that there was no pleading, no pity, in them, only interest and something like love. Warmth was what she’d been calling it. Maybe even “like” in her more optimistic moments because he couldn’t possibly love her yet.

Unless he is. Unless he’s falling in love.

“How can you be so…”

She wasn’t sure of the word for it. His innate trust of her, his faith that she’d answer his questions in due time, his ability to open himself to her because of her interest in him despite her own inability to do the same. There wasn’t a word for it. It was more than supportive, more than caring, more than trusting.

He gave her hand a squeeze and looked her in the eye.

“Because I respect you, and this… you and me… it’s making me start to believe my family’s right. It’s making me believe fate might be real.”

She couldn’t breathe.

Fate.

She wasn’t used to having hope. She wasn’t used to having her feelings returned or having anyone else believe in her. She wasn’t used to being wanted. She wasn’t used to Kristoff.

I want to be.

Laying at his side it was so easy to imagine a life. It was easy to imagine a day where they’d be intimate, a day where they’d have no secrets, maybe even a day where they’d have a little family together. It was easy to believe in it because he believed in her, even when she was too afraid to ever believe in anything again.

“It’s okay,” he said quietly, “I know it’s a lot to take in. The fate thing with my family, and Elsa telling me things you probably didn’t want me to know yet. It doesn’t change anything for me, just so you know. I liked you before, I wanted us to become friends. If there’s more now… I’d like that too, but Anna I don’t think anything would change the way I think about you.”

She didn’t even realize she was crying, until he started telling her that it was okay, until she felt his thumb rubbing across the top of her hand gently. It took her a moment to stop, to wipe the tears away with the side of the hand that wasn’t holding his. It felt foolish to cry, and she felt like she hadn’t shed so many tears since her parents died.

She’d been strong through everything since, through Hans and the lies and her almost death, through the wedding. But then, once she’d had him, it was like a switch was flipped, like it was okay to cry again. She wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad.

“I’ve been crying around you a lot,” she said quietly, focusing on getting the sound out as she took measured breaths, “I don’t want you to think this… that you… I’m still happy Kristoff. I’m so happy that it’s you. I just…”

She didn’t want to tell him everything. She didn’t want to tell him that Hans had been so easy to trust, that she was scared of letting Kristoff in totally because while she already knew he wouldn’t hurt her, there were parts of her that were less confident in any of her decisions. Even the ones that felt logical.

It’s not you, it’s me.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me Anna. Not tonight, not until you’re ready.”

“What if I were ready?”

“Then I would listen.”

She had a thought. A mad one that no one would possibly ever understand or consent to unless they truly thought that she was worth the strangeness.

“What if I wanted to pretend… just for a minute… that you already knew so it wouldn’t be so strange to talk about. What if we pretended that you knew before we were married and that it didn’t change anything? What if we had been married by choice instead of… instead of this?”

He gave her a soft look for a moment, like he was confused but didn’t want to tell her that he was. She could understand that, that she hadn’t explained it very well and that he wanted to be supportive. She thought that he might let her down gently or find a way to let her know he didn’t understand. But then he smiled.

“I don’t think that would be too difficult. You’ve already met my family. You’ve seen my home… that’s something I’d only do for someone I wanted in my life. I think if we’d planned this, if it had been something where we’d had a little more time, I would have introduced you to them before the wedding.”

That was a nice thought, that he would have wanted to introduce her to the trolls, that it might have all gone differently. She thought about what it might have been like if he’d warned her ahead, brought her there slowly and with more trust between them. She liked to think that she would have asked them more about him, how they came across him, what he was like as a child instead of focusing only on her own forgotten childhood memories. There would have been that too, of course, but then she would have been more prepared, they would have known more of her, the process might have been slower and more comfortable. She imagined the troll he called his mother telling her about Kristoff as a child, all the little stories of him playing and growing and learning.

She would have liked that.

Maybe I’ll get a chance.

“If you think so…then we could talk about it. We could talk about all of it, because you’d already know the story, and I wouldn’t have to be afraid you’d change your opinion of me, because you would have married me for…”

“Love.”

That he’d said it had her heart racing.

She had to look away from him, she had to breathe deeply and focus on slowing the pounding in her chest. It would be so easy to trust him with it all. It would be so easy to tell him.

“Can we?” she asked, her voice so small she could barely hear it, “Can we pretend?”

“I want to if you do Anna… but if we’re going to do that…” there was an edge to his voice, something vulnerable that did little to calm the racing of Anna’s heart, “Then I need you to know something.”

“Okay.”

She said it, but she felt anything but okay, even with his hand in hers. They’d been vulnerable with each other plenty in the past few days, but the idea of letting him into her recent past, letting him know her dirtiest laundry and having to hope that the odd game they were going to play would be enough to keep it from disgusting him, was something that made her feel like running.

“I know that you were pretending to be asleep this morning.”

She bit her lip, still not looking at him, trying again to focus on her breathing and the rate of her heart’s beating. She was hyper aware of the fact that she was in his bed, just a foot from his side, a distance that could be crossed in a moment. She could feel his warmth at his side and could remember how nice it had felt to wake in his arms. His hand tightened on hers, denoting a tension in him that worried her more than anything.

Maybe this is too much too soon for him. Maybe he doesn’t want to pretend to be more because I already crossed a line.

“I was.”

She wouldn’t lie. She wouldn’t lie to him if she could help it, and there was no point in trying. He already knew, as she suspected he did, that she’d faked being asleep just to stay in his arms a little longer.

“Anna… I’m choosing to believe that means something, because to me it did. So, I think you should know that before we start pretending to be more than we are right now, even if it’s just for a moment.”

She felt her chest go tight and then she relaxed. Something akin to euphoria flowed through her as she came to the realization that he wasn’t about to tell her that she’d overstepped but was, rather, letting her know that he’d felt something.

We’ve only known each other a few days.

She couldn’t deny the feelings she was developing for him. He was kind and well meaning and he believed that this, their relationship, might be fate.

She was starting to believe it too.

“It did. I… Kristoff I haven’t felt so safe in a very long time, and I didn’t want to wake up because that meant we had to leave and I didn’t know if we’d…”

She looked back at him and saw a softness in his expression, a knowing look in his eye. He understood because he felt the same.

“Do you… do you still want to pretend? I know it’s silly, but even with everything… we’re almost strangers and I want to tell you, but I don’t know if I can without knowing that you won’t push me away.”

“Anna… I can promise you I wouldn’t… but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I want to know what it would be like to pretend… just for a little while that we’d known each other longer. So I want to if you do.”

“I do.”

It wasn’t the first time she’d said it in the week, but this time she was much more sure of it. This time it was a choice.

He didn’t respond in words, but pulled her close instead, his fingers unlacing from hers to slip under the sheets and tentatively span her waist.

She gasped at the contact, but then leaned into it, helping him reduce the space. She wanted this. She wanted so badly to pretend that they were more than just maybe, could-have-been, and someday.

You need to tell him now before you never do.

“He made it so easy to trust him…” she started, letting him lean down to look at her, closing the space until there was nary a paper’s width between their bodies and mere inches between their faces.

“And it wasn’t your fault that you did. I’ve heard what he was like Anna. Everyone trusted him.”

“But it was my fault because…”

“No,” he said quietly, interrupting her, the hand that wasn’t on her waist moving to push hair out of her face, “Being open and kind doesn’t give someone the right to manipulate you.”

He really does know. Already. He’s known.

She wasn’t sure how he could. Unless Elsa told him more than she thought he had. Unless Kai had. Or unless he’d just done his best to figure it out from the little pieces of information he’d been given, from the things she’d said, from the way she’d acted.  

“I was just so lonely.” “So was I,” he said gently, “And I didn’t even know it until I met you.”

***

It felt strange to pretend, but mostly it felt strange to call it that when he wasn’t really pretending anything. He was acting like he knew the whole story with Hans, which he didn’t, but nothing else was fake. He’d been dying to hold her again since that morning. He knew that things between them were moving much too fast, he knew that he shouldn’t have been so forward with her under the guise of make-believe, but there was something about being with Anna that made him feel more like himself than he’d ever been.

The trolls believed that everything and everyone was just a half, that there was something or someone that they needed to make them whole. He’d thought for many years that it was his work that would complete him. He’d pretended then. He’d pretended for quite some time that he didn’t feel a jealousy and sadness when he looked at his parents working together hand in hand. He’d pretended that he didn’t need anyone.

Holding Anna, telling her that nothing that happened to her with Hans wasn’t her fault, that wasn’t pretend.

I’m not pretending to feel whole.

He let his hand shift a bit on her waist, feeling the curve of her side obscured only slightly by the light fabric of her nightgown. She was so small, so slight. He knew that he’d need to be gentle with her, and was reminded of this when the roughness of his fingertips caught on the fabric of her dress, prompting him to steady his hands and stop their path.

“Kristoff… you don’t understand… I was stupid and I just let him in… I didn’t think I just…”

Her voice was high, the pitch of each word escalating as she fought against the tears he could see collecting in her eyes. She’d apologized before for crying, but that too was something he’d wanted to tell her she never needed to be sorry for. He could feel her trembling under his hand, so he tightened his grip on her again, hoping that she would understand it as supportive.

She’s so strong. My wife has been through so much.

There was a conviction in the set of her jaw, in the way she was staring at him despite her tears. He understood just how much it meant to her that he understood what she was trying to tell him.

He didn’t interrupt her this time, didn’t tell her that she wasn’t at fault, because he would do it after. He knew that she needed to get this out, this secret that was in the way for her.

“He walked into the kingdom with a plan. He wanted the throne and he was going to go through Elsa first. But then he heard more about her, he knew she wouldn’t fall for him, so he went for me because I fell into his lap. He knew I would take any attention I could get and he knew I would be so dazzled by it that I wouldn’t hear anything other than wedding bells. And I didn’t. And because I didn’t, he nearly killed me… he nearly killed us both, and Elsa had to show her powers and it nearly destroyed everything. I almost levelled a kingdom with a bad decision and if I just opened my eyes none of this would have happened.”

She was crying openly now, the tears rolling down her cheeks unrestrained. He could feel her shaking and he could hear the panic in her voice.

“I almost threw everything away because I was lonely. And I got you dragged into it too. And I’m constantly terrified that I’m going to make a bad decision again and that you’re… How can you…”

She doesn’t trust herself. She doesn’t trust you.

That hurt. He was beginning to understand why she hadn’t wanted to tell him, and he was wondering if he shouldn’t have agreed to pretend. Especially now that she’d brought up their arrangement, signaling the fact that they weren’t really pretending anymore anyway.

He tensed. He couldn’t look away from her, he couldn’t move, because that would hurt her. It would show her that she’d thought right and that he would think differently of her.

He was frozen in place, his hand on her trembling waist, watching her cry.

What would the trolls say at a time like this?

He wasn’t quite sure when he’d started to realize that maybe his mother’s advice was more useful in this situation than it had ever been before, but he wished that he could recall more of it. He wished that he’d asked more about relationships, and women, and all the topics he’d always avoided with his family.

“I can’t promise you that things between us won’t go wrong,” he replied, “Like right now… I think maybe this is something we should have waited to talk about... until you trusted me more… until we didn’t have to pretend. But Anna, I can promise you that my only motivation for our arrangement right now is my interest in you. I’m not good with words. I wish I knew the words to say to make you feel like this is all okay, but I can tell you how I see everything you just told me.”

He took a deep breath and slid his hand back up her waist, to her back, bringing them even closer so that he could rest his forehead against hers. He could feel her untense a bit under him, and though her breaths came in and out in hiccupping and stuttering bursts, he felt that she was at least trying to calm herself down.

He wished he knew better how to help.

It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel so much that you feel like you’re falling apart.

His mother had been so good at calming him when he was young. He hadn’t cried in many years, but he could feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes when he saw his wife hurting. What they had was so new that he could only reliably call what was between them friendship, but he already knew from the aching in his chest that he loved her.

“I don’t blame you for wanting someone to love you. I don’t blame you for everything that happened because you let someone in who hurt you. I only blame him for that. I don’t know how long it will take you to stop having reservations about our marriage… I have reservations of my own… not about you, but about palace life. I know that sometimes confidence comes and goes, and we are going to have our issues because I don’t think anyone doesn’t…”

He let himself think about his parents again for a moment. They bickered at times, they had different opinions and thoughts about how things should be handled, they got competitive and didn’t always agree, but they loved each other through it all. They talked about their problems, and they always made it through.

That’s what I want for us. Whether she ever loves me or not. I just want her to know that being my wife means that we’ll make it through.

“But you’re my wife Anna… and even if this wasn’t how we imagined our married lives… I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you. If you want me, I’ll be at your side.”

***

She hadn’t been able to keep up the ruse, not longer than a few moments.

She hadn’t had the mental strength to focus on pretending when she was thinking about every unique way Hans had broken her. She’d been fighting for so long to not allow her fears a voice, to keep them in, but as soon as she thought about how easily Hans had manipulated her, and how easy it was to let Kristoff into her life, she couldn’t hold it back.

You hurt him.

She let her eyes close as she cried out everything she was feeling. There was a headache twinging behind her eyes as she fell apart, but his soft reassurances and the feeling of his hand on her back and his forehead rested against hers lessened the ache. She’d just told him that she wasn’t ready to trust him entirely, she’d just told him how easy it was for her to fall in love with another man, and he was holding her through it.

This should be enough for you. This should erase any doubt.

It did, somewhat. She wasn’t really sure if she’d ever doubted him much at all, but she’d needed to give her fears a voice, even if she thought that in the end they were irrational.

“I’m so sorry,” she managed to choke out after a lengthy silence punctuated only by the sounds of her sobbing.

He just held her tighter.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he said, his voice low, a hurt in his tone but a strength too.

You managed to marry a mountain man… of all the men in the kingdom… maybe fate is real… maybe someone or something out there knew you needed someone resilient.

She wrapped her arms around him as best as she could, melting into him, trying to match her breathing to his and finding it easier than she would have imagined.

“I wish I’d met you before,” she said, her voice low as she told him the thought as it came, “I wish that everything had been different and that I would have tripped and fell into you in the market.”

“I probably would have told you to watch where you were going,” he said, a hint of self-deprecation in his tone, “I’m not normally so good with strangers.”

She let herself feel a bit of amusement at that. She remembered the hardness in his eye at the wedding, the way he’d shut down a bit around the castle staff. He certainly wasn’t much of a people person at first glance, and yet he was holding her close, just days after they met.

“And I would have tried to apologize, and probably would have rambled for ten minutes straight about how clumsy I am.”

He let out a soft sound, an almost laugh, and she felt a warmth return to her that had been absent since they started talking about Hans. She let herself hold onto it, allowing her closeness to him to chase away the feelings of dread that were still lingering on the fringes of her consciousness.

“And I would have been charmed, whether I was willing to admit it or not. Because you’re beautiful and kind and so far, impossible to be upset with for any more than a moment.”

He thinks you’re beautiful.

She felt the flush rise to her cheeks, and she couldn’t help but feel a little giddy at the idea of her husband finding her attractive. He’d already demonstrated this before, and she had been told before that she was lovely, but there was something about hearing him say it so openly that made her beam. Also that he seemed to find her good company seemed a blessing.

“And I would have offered to buy you lunch in the market for inconveniencing you… and also because you’re not bad looking yourself.”

“I doubt I would have been able to catch the eye of a Princess if we didn’t already know each other.”

She very gently shook her head, her forehead shifting against his. She could feel his breath when he spoke, they were so close that she’d just need to shift a bit to press their lips together.

Not yet.

Soon.

That thought sent a tingle down her spine and made her cheeks go even hotter than they were. He was her husband. She could kiss him if she wanted. But they were still getting to know each other, and she knew that it was something that needed waiting.

She’d thought once before about the fact that she was falling in love with him, and how easy it was to do so. She knew that even if they’d met under other circumstances, she still would have found him attractive, that she would have found him loveable as soon as he opened up to her.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” she replied, “I think you’re incredibly attractive Kristoff.”

“Well, I’m glad my wife doesn’t find me difficult to look at.”

She almost balked at his words, but then she realized that he was joking.

My husband is teasing me.

She liked it once she realized. She liked it when he joked. No one ever teased her.

“And I’m glad my husband finds me beautiful,” she said, teasing back.

“Maybe I just have a thing for red hair?”

That had her laughing. Of course, he might really have a thing for red hair which was neither here nor there, but she liked that she could laugh with him after crying so much.

“I like this kind of pretending better,” she said quietly, “Thinking about the what-ifs in a nice way and not feeling bad that it didn’t go that way.”

It may have been simpler if it had of course.

But nothing had ever been simple for her.

“Me too Anna,” he said warmly, holding her close, making her feel safe again like nothing could go wrong so long as he was around, “Me too.”

[the-last-cuddlebender]

Since when young Tenzin is underloved? His dad loved him the best and treated him as the special one and his mom adores him and maybe his siblings would give him shit when they were kids because they were jealous but he had Lin as a good friend and then he cheated on her with a 20yrs younger woman. The guy gets as much loved as he deserves

Hi, anon! So there’s a few things to unpack here, so I’ll try to be as concise as I can. This is pretty much what I think Tenzin’s childhood was really like and why he should be appreciated just as much as Bumi and Kya. Also with Kataang TLOK parenting thrown in. I’m pretty tired and don’t wanna edit an essay, so I apologize if it rambles.

Also, I’m not gonna touch the whole Tenzin cheating point. I’m fairly certain that that’s just objectively wrong. Everything else I’m more than happy to discuss, though:D

To be clear, when I say I feel like Tenzin is under-loved, I mean by the fandom (and by TLOK, but to a smaller degree). Under-appreciated might be a better word. Or under-explored? Idk. I just know that Tenzin’s childhood—just his—doesn’t get the attention it deserves. Outside of Tenzin having some angsty one-on-one’s with Aang (which I love, make no mistake!), I don’t see a lot fleshing out his childhood. Bumi and Kya get a lot of it, though (or the kids as a whole, but nothing that’s just Tenzin’s).

I don’t subscribe to the idea that Aang treated Tenzin as “the special one.” Bumi and Kya being jealous—in the way that seems to be the majority consensus—of Tenzin when they were kids is a bit hard for me to imagine, too. I try to stick to canon as much as I can, but, for some things, I have to draw the line. There has to be evidence, not just anecdote, otherwise I hc it into oblivion. I’m not saying their feelings in TLOK aren’t valid. They absolutely are, and Aang would never want those feelings to be invalidated. Children just retain things differently. A traumatic accident could have no effect on them but falling in the shower and bumping their head might. Developing brains are weird. 

I can see Kya and Bumi giving Tenzin some shit when they were kids (Tenzin does admit that Kya picked on him), but I highly doubt that was any more/less than normal sibling rivalry and Cain Instinct. Sure, Aang might have given Tenzin attention for being an airbender, but he gave Kya and Bumi attention for being a waterbender and a non-bender, too. To me, it’s like having siblings who play different sports. Just because dad went to every one of my sister’s soccer games doesn’t mean he didn’t attend every one of my basketball games. The hyperfixation on airbending in TLOK makes it sound like that was all Aang cared about, but even in ATLA we can see that that isn’t true. If it was, then he would have kicked out the mechanist from the Northern Air Temple. 

To say that Aang loved Tenzin the best is to imply that he loved his other children poorly, which isn’t true in the slightest. I can entertain the argument that he spent more one-on-one time with Tenzin, but that could be attributed to different children with different personalities having different wants and different needs for validation from their parents. And I will gladly defend it, even though I personally hc otherwise.

It’s hard to talk about Tenzin without also talking about Aang and Katara, so bear with me here:

Tenzin and Kya:

Tenzin was the last airbender besides Aang. Kya was the last waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe besides Katara. To assume Aang treated Tenzin as the “special one” because he’s an airbender would, if using the same logic, mean assuming Katara treated Kya as the “special one” for being a waterbender. 

I’ve never understood why The Southern Water Tribe being inherited by the Kataang kids isn’t as big of a deal as Air Nomad culture. Both of them were recovering cultures on the brink of extinction, so they both have a lot of pressure for the kids to live up to.

Plus, if Sokka had a right of passage for being a Water Tribe warrior, then who’s to say there wasn’t a right of passage for Kya, specifically, for being a waterbender? She would be the special one, there. And maybe Tenzin struggled with his two heritages because being an Air Nomad meant being vegetarian but being Water Tribe meant using dead fish to go penguinsledding?

Tenzin and Learning too soon:

Tenzin probably learned about his responsibility of carrying the legacy of the airbenders at a very, very young age. Aang and Katara probably tried their hardest to wait until he was older to tell him (a-la Gyatso wanting to wait until Aang was older for him to carry the burden of being the airbenders’—and the world’s—last hope, too), but it was unavoidable. It was a part of the world’s history, and the aftermath of the war wasn’t exactly something a kid could avoid. Plus, I’m sure Aang wanted to correct airbender history as it was taught in schools as soon as he got the opportunity after the war.

Tenzin just has the abstract “idea” of what his bending culture was like when it was alive and well. Aang has memories to draw upon from which to imagine the future that the airbenders needed to rebuild towards. Tenzin gets second-hand notes.

Tenzin also didn’t have a baseline by which to measure if he was a “good airbender.” He had only Aang to compare himself to. ONLY AANG. This is talked about in TLOK but only in regards to Aang being his dad, if I’m not mistaken. But Aang isn’t just Tenzin’s dad. Aang is his father, the Avatar, and the youngest airbender to get his master’s tattoos. That’s a LOT more to live up to than just being his kid. And it’s the only thing Tenzin has to compare himself to to measure whether or not he’s a good airbender. I’m shocked that his spiritual ineptitude isn’t more of a haunting issue for him, quite frankly.

Tenzin and Bullying:

Tenzin didn’t have any airbenders his age (anyone like him) growing up. Even Aang had a childhood with other airbenders. As a father, Aang was as playful as a kid, sure, but, to a child, it isn’t quite the same because they don’t share that special bond of growing together and having a shared upbringing. 

Katara can especially empathize with this. 

Airbending is the element of fun. It’s kindof hard to express/embrace that facet of the element if Tenzin is the only one his age who can wield it.

I can almost guarantee that Tenzin got voted out of playing with other kids at least a few times because he was the only airbender (and that would make teams unfair). He probably learned to play by himself. That would certainly make him serious. Toph would probably teach him how to entertain himself, too. And that might lead to Tenzin and Lin hanging out. Who knows?

I honestly think Tenzin was bullied quite a bit (and not by Kya and Bumi), and that the bullying attributed to his demeanor as he grew up. Him cowering from Kya or running from his siblings when they picked on him was an exasperation of what he was probably dealing with outside his home.

In the recent comic with Katara and the pirates, we see a Fire Nation soldier flaunt some pretty nasty ideas about the Air Nomads because of Sozin’s propaganda. I don’t think that 15 years (or however long Tenzin was born after the war) is going to reverse that. Tenzin was probably picked on for being an airbender in addition to being the Avatar’s kid. 

If the rise of fashion post-war was as fast-growing as industry, I can imagine kid-Tenzin being made fun of for being bald (even though it was part of his religion/culture) and for dressing in robes when the world, especially Republic City, was beginning to adopt different clothes. 

Tenzin is an incredibly tender soul around those he loves but also incredibly serious around his adversaries. He has a soft inside and an armored shell, and that thick skin is usually forged through unsavory interactions. And he definitely interacted with plenty of normal kids his age. Aang missed the chance after the ice, and Katara was the only one her age in her village besides (kindof) Sokka. There’s no way Aang and Katara would keep their kids cooped up and strictly homeschooled. At the very least, Toph would bust them out if they did.

Tenzin and Katara:

Now, I’m not saying that Tenzin blames Aang because he obviously doesn’t. But Aang has memories of what airbender life was like, and Tenzin has only dreams. Honestly, it’s like he’s caught in the situation Aang was in when he was a young Avatar. They both have to live up to something that was pretty much just a legend. How could Tenzin possibly be expected to compare himself to something like that and be peachy fine? Aang wasn’t. So maybe, just maybe, Aang and Katara decided to have Tenzin go on private trips with Aang so Tenzin could understand that part of himself that was so hard for him to get? Inner peace is pretty dang hard to think about with THAT much pressure. 

And yes, it was Aang and Katara who decided on the trips. I will not for a second believe that 1.) Aang would make that kind of decision without her input or 2.) that Katara would let one of her kids get private time with dad that would even potentially give the illusion of favoritism. 

Katara knew how important one-on-one time with a parent was to some kids. This is why she tells Sokka to go see Hakoda instead of her in Ba Sing Se. She saw not only how much Sokka wanted but how much he NEEDED to see their dad. Sokka and Tenzin were both caught in a “passing of the torch” scenario (tbh, the scene where Aang tells Tenzin that he’s proud of him in the Spirit World reminds me of when Hakoda tells Sokka that he’s proud of him during the invasion when he’s injured. In both instances, it kindof solidifies the official passing of the torch).

“You didn’t love her like I did”—Katara learned pretty quick in tsr about how incredibly toxic the assumption of loving or being loved more/less was. She would never under any circumstance agree to anything that would show favoritism to one of her children. Absolutely no way. Aang and Katara are a team, and to villainize one for favoritism is to villainize the other.

Tenzin and Yue:

Tenzin had a stressful upbringing. I would even make the argument that he and Yue had a similar time trying to conform to a responsibility that they were told/learned about at a too young age. Their mindsets are very similar—responsibility even at the sacrifice of their own wants and happiness and an overwhelming love for their father.

Tenzin: “I have a responsibility to Republic City.” Yue: “I have a duty to my Tribe.”

They were both determined to love and carry on the legacy of their father and their people, but they did it in their own way. They both struggled with their responsibilities from an extremely young age.

Finishing thoughts I guess:

*********************************************

I can imagine a young Tenzin crying and trying to hide from the world that was shoving its weight onto his shoulders, and who, when Aang finds him hiding in the bison stables or somewhere similar, cringes away from Aang for a split second before recognizing his father and holding on so tight that it hurt. Aang tried his damnedest to teach Tenzin airbending and the responsibility of being the last airbender when Aang was gone, but even he knew that he couldn’t keep the weight of the world off of Tenzin forever. Aang never got that chance when he was told he was the Avatar. He heard the monks say that he was “the airbenders’ last hope” because storm clouds were gathering. Young Tenzin probably felt just as hopeless. The one-on-one trips he took with Aang were specifically to the places Aang had visited in S1 when he was still recovering from realizing that he was the last airbender. Maybe Aang took Tenzin with him one-on-one, just the two of them, to drive home the message that Tenzin was not the last airbender like Aang had been?

“I-I’m just one kid…I can’t. I…I-I’m just—”

“Shhh, shhh, shhh…I know, buddy. I know. But you’re my kid, too. You’re my entire world.”

“Everyone says I’m—”

“Don’t worry about them. They’re not here.”

“B-But—”

“But? What but? Are you hiding someone in your sleeping bag, Breeze-Butt?”

“N…No…”

“And do you see anyone else here?”

“…No.”

“That’s right. So don’t worry about them. It’s just you and me right now, okay? Just breathe. There you go. Just like I taught you—You’re doing so well, bud. Shhh…You’re okay. You’re not just one kid. You’re Tenzin. And you’re my son. You and your brother and sissy are my entire world. I love you so, so much...Oh, see? There’s that million-yuan smile!”

“…Thanks, Daddy. Love you.”

“Love you more. Do you want to try going in the water again? Or we can stay up here if you like. Whatever you want.”

“I wanna try again. But…But maybe just a small fish? I don’t wanna fall off again…I-I can’t do the air-chute yet…and the water hurt.”

“I’ll round up the smallest koi there is. I’ll sit right behind you, too. How’s that sound? I won’t let you fall.”

“Okay!”

*********************************************

Maybe this has been said before idk. These are just my thoughts on Kataang parents and Tenzin. I retcon the entire Kataang family as it’s presented in TLOK, but this is how I imagine it going down in canon. 

This isn’t an attack on any person or fandom btw! I just think Tenzin isn’t as appreciated as the airbean deserves😞 He’s been through so much😭

If there’s a secret stash of young Tenzin appreciation content somewhere, please share!  I might be looking in the wrong places for Tenzin love, and I would love nothing more than to be wrong, honestly. So, please, if there’s a secret stash, yeet me that link!!

[themadauthorshatter]

I talked about Cal being the prince of Norta.

And I have a hard time feeling fond of or sympathy for Ptolemus.

I guess I'm just doing another analysis thing😂😂

SO

How does Ptolemus's life start?

As the son of Volo Samos, who we've been told withholds affection as a punishment, holds the bar insanely high, and is literally a human stonewall. Think Tywin Lannister from Game of Thrones, but with a much lower tolerance for nonsense and/or stupidity and metal bending; so if you piss this guy off too much, he will make you regret it in one way or another.

WE'VE SEEN IN SLAP SOMEONE FOR DISOBEYING HIS ORDERS.

I honestly can't imagine what Volo did to his son when he did something like sneak a sweet or tell a small lie or even do something most normal kids would do growing up, like try to impress what little friends he had or slip up a little in training or lessons or talk to a silver girl he thought was pretty.

In the instance of Cal, all the crown prince would get is a slap on the wrist and a reminder he's already intended for Evangeline.

For Ptolemus, that would probably not be the case. I don't know if Volo would wait for him to return or retrieve his son himself, but either way I can see him berating his son like he'd slept with the girl rather than just talked with her, maybe even tell him that those who are Samos born are not common whores who seduce everyone they see.

If Ptolemus slipped up in training, Volo would ask if his hard work was a sort of 'thanks' to his parents, who raise him with love, give him clothes and a bed, and even an education. And how does he repay them? By slacking off. By taking what he has for granted.

Essentially, he'd tear Ptolemus apart with words, making sure he makes his son guilty for not meeting those expectations Volo has.

I should note that in the eyes of Volo Samos, he is not doing anything wrong. He's ensuring his son is strong and keeping the legacy of House Samos alive. It's a heavy expectation and Ptolemus needs to be ready to take up that mantle, even if it means he needs to be reprimanded for acting like a fool in his father's eyes.

A Samos does not act like a fool, and Volo is eventually going to die one way or another, so he needs a strong base to continue building the Samos legacy on.

Now being the future King of Norta has its own pressures and weight on the shoulders, but I would dare to argue that Cal probably had it a little easier than Ptolemus.

Let me explain.

Sure, Cal was most likely only raised by nurse maids and Julian, but he usually didn't have to worry about getting verbally torn apart because he barely stepped put of line; being King means you CANNOT step out of line. Cal must be nothing but perfect and it's something he's carried with him since a young age. Couple that with the fact that his father was barely around to raise him properly and Elara avoided him like a plague, and we have a good picture on why Cal is the way he is.

Compare all that to Ptolemus. Son of Volo Samos, who is a no nonsense, takes shit from no one, "Be late or slip up in any way, and I'll impale your head on a fence" man and father, who expects nothing but greatness and success, and punishes those for not meeting those expectations.

I'd dare to even say he'd be a much harsher king than Tibe was, whether that would be through literally ending the Scarlet Guard himself while they were still small or easy to hit.

It doesn't get easier because Evangeline is born and made into Cal's betrothed, and is compared to Ptolemus for everything she does. If not that, then he has to see her by exactly what he was, but can't help because it's a lesson SHE has to learn.

Something I just realized was this line Ptolemus says in War Storm: "You trained us too well."

Ptolemus and Evangeline didn't grow up with Rane Arven training them, like Cal and Maven.

They were trained by their father, who is possibly a VERY unforgiving opponent and mentor.

This might be where Ptolemus's rage comes from.

Think of it like this: You're fighting as hard as you can against your own father. You're MAYBE 17 or 16 years old and you cannot get this guy down no matter how hard you try. Your father calls you weak and says that training will continue tomorrow.

You've been training your ASS off and are improving, but your father only sees that you can't beat him in a duel.

In a blind rage, you flip out. All the metal you can use bends to your will and shoots toward your father as you charge toward him, ready to fight again.

AND YOU WIN.

For that reason, I think that's what led to Ptolemus having such a bad temper in book 1, where we see his rage the most.

'You're Samos born. A Silver with status and power. You will really allow a Red to kill you and your sister?'

'You'll call that traitor your friend? After what he did? And what of the Red rat beside him? Is she as innocent as he is? Are both their hands clean of blood?'

One more point I want to bring up was the fact that he felt bad for Shade's death.

He was aiming for Mare in Corros, but Shade quite literally appeared out of nowhere.

I think seeing how Shade's death effected Mare and Farley and the other Barrows, and remembering how scared he possibly was to lose his sister on numerous occasions led to him feeling remorseful for what he did.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

[bakubabes-tatakae]

gonna get self-indulgent up in here 👀dmm takin this chance to oc ship- but uh. name is asami hirai, pronouns are she/her, and maybe a lovers w an angsty twist kinda letter if thats cool? as for info, shes a college student who was summoned from her vers of japan as the axe hero, shes a well-meaning person who tends to overburden herself with everyone else's issues, and shes got a dad and a little sister back home ! she also only has 1 party member (a cleric-type dude) bc the other two sided with malty n didnt go w her bc she was willing to hear naofumi out ! (srry for the info dump-)

You got it. Here’s a little Naofumi for you. ❤️

To My Angel,

I know you probably don’t wanna hear this, but I wanted to tell you how happy you make me. Just the pure fact that you were able to look past everything and not let Malty rule your thoughts. You were able to make your own decisions and it just shows that you don’t let crowds rule your mind. I’m excited for the upcoming training that you’re about to come with me on. The girls are excited to work with the axe hero.

I can already tell that by working with you you’ll be able to help Raphtalia out a lot. I know a sword and an axe aren’t exactly the same thing, but you’ll be able to help her out a lot more than I have. A shield definitely doesn’t compare to a sword as much.

You always tell me not to talk like this, but I have to get this out at least here before you get here. If I don’t get it out now then I’ll end up saying it to you out loud which could ruin the moment.

I can’t believe that a girl like you likes a guy like me. I’ve been nothing but problematic, at least that’s what the people around me think. Between Malty’s accusations and the whole slave issue I figured I didn’t deserve to have anyone in my life.

I don’t deserve someone who treats me as good as you treat me. Someone with such a rough past shouldn’t be able to find someone as amazing as you are. I shouldn’t be able to find love like this, but now that I have I never want to let it go. If I let this go I’d just be a fool.

But a fool is what everyone takes me for so my fear that I’ll screw something up is ever present. I couldn’t imagine not being able to reach out to you ever again. I couldn’t imagine never being able to call you mine again, but sometimes I feel that the name that being with me gives you is something that could scare you away so I think about how your life could be better nearly every day.

But I’ll let you go sweetheart, I can’t wait to see you and I’ll be counting down the days until you’re here with me. I love you so much, my love. When you get here I’ll make sure to hold you tight for as long as you’ll allow it.

Until We’re Together,

Naofumi

[imagine-lcorp]

Begin Again (One Shot)

Request

Lena and fem!Reader were going on a few dates here and there and like each other very very much. However, Lena’s super duper friend, Kara Danvers, thinks R is not good enough for her ‘cause R’s a regular person who doesn’t seem like she’ll fit up to Lena’s standards. This is said when Lena brings R to game night and Kara secretly pulls aside R to talk. After that, it’s very obvious that R’s gradually distancing herself from Lena and Lena notices. (Part 1) Lena asks Kara for help cause she’s her best friend and all and Kara feels super guilty and spills everything to Lena. Lena gets lowkey pissed at Kara and goes to find R and explain that Lena does genuinely like her no matter what and just fluffiness alsjdhdladhsksjdh (Part 2)

A/N: Hello guys! I’m trying to keep up with your requests, and so far I haven’t lost my mind in the lockdown!! How fun, isn’t it? Anyway, enjot this little one shot and as always kudos to the dear anon that sent it!!!

Lena Luthor x Fem!R//Word Count: 1,883

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It was still early in the morning when you saw, from the corner of your eyes, two cups of coffee be placed at your table. You paused the music coming from your headphones and stopped the typing on your laptop, so you could look up and see them better, imagining the person who had brought them had maybe mistaken you for someone else or was a friendly stranger doing their good deed of the day. However, your heart almost came to a full stop when you saw the names on the cups. Yours and hers alone.

You took your headphones off and looked up. "Lena."

"I hope I'm not interrupting." She stood in front of you just like the first time you had talked, but this time she looked more nervous than you had ever seen her. "May I?"

"Hey, sure." You responded with the same hint of nervousness.

"I bought you your regular, hope you don't mind." She took the cup with your name and handed it to you.

"Not at all. Thank you." You took the cup and placed it near your laptop.

"I wasn't sure I was going to find you here. You hadn't come much these days." Lena took the empty seat in front of you, looking a bit sad.

"Yeah, sorry, I was at home. I've been, um, really busy lately." You knew it was a lie but still you tried to excuse yourself.

"Have you?" She asked with a hint of hurt.

No. You hadn't been that busy.

"Well, I..." You started but, before you tried to come up with another excuse, she cut you off.

"Sorry, no. You don't actually need to explain." She shook her head no and her eyes softened on you. "Kara told me about your conversation."

"Oh." You simply said and looked out the big window near your table. You couldn't meet her eyes as you remembered. "That conversation."

It had been a couple of months since you and Lena had started to date. You even had met in this little coffee shop where you were seated. You came often after office hours, when it was almost empty, to work and have something to drink before heading back to your apartment. You liked it in here since it was one of the few places where the coffee and wi-fi were both excellent, and it was open until late so you could enjoy the sounds of the city but without the back and forth of the crowd.

After some time, you noticed there was someone else that liked to come in late for a cup of coffee and a little dessert, if she felt in the mood. She was tall, beautiful, dark haired, and it was not so often that you would be graced with her presence, but when she came she would sway in like she already owned the place. That was her charm and every time she came through that door your eyes would find her. Until one night you finally decided to do something in hopes you could talk to her.

Lena came another night to find that her regular order had been paid in advance. Thanks to the nice stranger that sit on the corner by the window, as the barista had explained to her. You almost didn't hear her come to your table but, when you saw her silhouette approaching you, you stopped your work and focused on her. There was a little smile in her face and you swore that was the cutest thing you had ever seen in your life.

"I hope I'm not interrupting. May I?" She nodded at the chair in front of you and without a second thought you said yes.

This became your regular routine. You would stay at the coffee shop, talking and drinking until it was almost time to close. There were some extra nights too when you only came hoping to find her, just to have the opportunity to talk to her again. Not much time passed before you also managed to find the courage to ask her out. You liked Lena Luthor, and you were lucky enough she liked you back.

Lena thought you were wonderful and, some part of her had to admit it too, you had some charm on your own. It was your personality, the way you smiled at her, the fact, she knew, that you would sometimes come sinply to talk to her. You didn't expect anything else but to keep each other company. It was nice to know that for someone, at least, that was enough, and little by little, and without noticing, she would come too hoping to find you. When you started dating, Lena finally realized she hadn't felt this way in a long time. She was falling for you, and she hoped you could make it work. However, things changed after the last game night with her friends.

It was the first time Lena had invited someone to game night and the Superfriends were happy to have another guest with them, specially if that new guest was Lena's new love interest. They all wanted to get to know you. When you arrived, Lena was a bit nervous about how things would play out but she soon found out she had nothing to worry about. You were a natural with people and you were more than thrilled to try and beat the Danvers sisters.

"Hey, can I have some?" You asked Kara as you found her in her kitchen, putting some homemade snacks in plates. Your first round of games had ended and everyone was already craving something to eat.

"Sure. We got some chicken fingers here, mozzarella sticks too, we got some nachos over there. There's plenty to choose from actually." She said looking at the table full of food.

"Thank you." You smiled at her and went to grab a mozzarella stick.

"Hey, hope you don't mind me asking but, you are not from around here, are you?" Kara said as she kept preparing the plates and you answered between bites.

"No, I moved to the city a year ago."

"What brought you to National City?" She asked with a curious tone. "It seemed like the place to be." You simply said. You had visited the city a couple of times before you moved and you had liked it, with aliens and all.

"Right." Kara stopped for a moment to look at you. "So, you and Lena, uh? Where did you meet, exactly?"

"She frequents the same little coffee shop downtown where I sometimes go to work." You explained.

"You work at the coffee shop?" She rasied an eyebrow at you. You started to feel there was something quite inquisitive about this conversation.

"No, no." You chuckled. "I work as a freelancer, so I go there sometimes for a change. It's a nice place, really cozy, like my apartment but without the mess."

"You live downtown?" She kept questioning. "Nope, not even close. I'm from the rent side of the city too, but on the other corner of it."

"Oh, that's a long way from here. Is Lena taking you home?"

"With some luck, maybe." You smiled but it seemed like Kara hadn't registered your answer and kept looking at you. "No, I got my bike."

"Wow, you are not like the type she usually dates." She said after a moment and went back to putting food on plates.

"What type is that?" You asked. "Mostly CEOs, tech geniuses, self-made corporate billionaires." She said.

"Sounds like I'm in the wrong league." You replied with a little confused frown.

"Sorry, I don't mean to make you unconformable. It's just that Lena's life can be too complicated sometimes. You have to be really special if you want to keep up with that."

"Got it." You nodded slowly.

"Good." She said, finishing the plates and taking a couple to take them with her. Then she turned to smile at you as if this had been nothing but a friendly chat. "Now, ready to lose the next game?"

Whatever kind of conversation you expected to have with Lena's best friend you didn't expect it to be this one. Although she hadn't said anything rude or intimidating, you couldn't help but feel out of place after it. You knew how to read between the lines, and you understood what Kara had tried to say. You and Lena were too different, living too many worlds apart. Lena had her own standards, and Kara wasn't sure someone like you could be enough to live up to them, to live up to her. Kara had given you something to think about and now you couldn't stop thinking about it. So much that when Lena invited you to her apartment, after the night was over, you declined her invitation.

Things began to change between Lena and you and, at first, she couldn't understand why. You postponed your dates, some of her calls and messages would go unanswered, and your little encounters at the coffee shop became less constant.

"I don't understand. We were getting along just fine this last couple of months." She explained one morning as she walked with Kara.

"Have you talked to her?"

"Yes, not much, but it's obvious she's avoiding me. We haven't seen each other since game night." She sighed. "I don't know what to do."

"Since game night, you said?" Kara suddenly stopped, realizing she was probably the one to blame for it. "I think I know what happened..."

If looks could kill, Kara was sure she would have been dead the second she was done explaining the sort conversation she had had with you. But Lena didn't have the time to be angry as she immediately went looking for you.

"I'm sorry." Lena said searching for your eyes.

"You don't have to be." You sighed. "She worries about you and...she kind of had a point."

"What point is that?"

"That I have to be special to keep up with someone like you." You looked at her. "Compared to you, I'm a commoner, Lena. What could I offer to the girl that has everything?"

"Your company and a cup of coffee." She said without hesitation, the corner of her lips lifting in a shy smile. "(Y/N), I like you, I really do, and what I liked the most about you is that you didn't have to give me anything else but that, a coffee and our endless time for conversation. That's why I kept coming back here, because I haven't been as happier as I am when I'm with you. That's all I need and, I promise, I won't ask for anything else."

You were speechless, taking in every single word she had said. If she had asked for your heart in a silver plate at that moment you would have run all the way to the closest store to find the shiniest one and let her have it.

"You could ask for dessert." You smiled as you came to your senses. "I'm sorry I let it get to me. Do you think we could start again from where we left off?"

"Dessert is on you." Lena smiled back at you with all her confidence restored and the assurance that you would make it work, no matter what.

[mystech-master]

F/GO High School/Modern AU BS

Me and @rex101111 have been talking about a modern/HS AU ft. as many Chaldean servants as possible. Here are the ideas we came up with (I am pretty much cut and pasting our message convo, so this is a mixture of both me and Rex's ideas):

Gil is the douchbag Senior everyone hates but his dad owns the school or whatever so he can do whatever he wants. The only decent person who willingly hangs out with him is his childhood friend Enkidu who's hoping he can un-douch his bro. He has kid Gil as his little brother and Caster Gil as his older bro who both agree that he sucks (Gil is the loser middle child of the family), Caster Gil wonders what Enkidu sees in his shit head brother. "He's too good for you." "Blow it out your ass." "One day he's going to wise up, see how much of a shit you are, and when you're all alone don't come crying to me." Caster Gil is in college studying political science, Kid Gil goes to a fancy boarding school. Archer Gil goofs off and throws parties

Scathach is a swimming class teacher, mainly b/c I recall underwater training being a part of Cu's regiment under her tutelage. People were jealous of the Cus for like two seconds when they find out the swim teacher is their mom, then they see her having them do an extra twenty laps and ignoring when OG Cu starts floating in the water. "CU DIED!" "YOU'RE NOT HUMAN!" while Scathach is like "you have two seconds to stop playing around before I ACTUALLY drown you" and he's back to doing laps.

Yeah with 4-5 Cus (if you count Setanta from Arcade) that is like 5 brothers.

Nightingale as school nurse, she is friends with Asclepius who works at a hospital associated with the school (strictly professional, but the students think otherwise).

Side note, keep in mind you can have multiple servants be the same type of teacher, just for different classes/grades.

King Hassan is the old Religious History teacher. Every one thinks he's older then the rock is the school is made out of. He has a scary face and a scarier voice but most students consider him the most fair and patient teacher in the whole school. He always gets a lot of food gifts before Ramadan form the students. (A few students, such as the Guda twins and Mash, call him gramps.) The other Hassans are his grandkids, like actual grandkids. He's super strict with them because he expects a lot from them. He always praises them when they do well though. He made sure they ALL got into his class and they've been living in fear ever since. They love their grandpa but by Allah they know not to disappoint him. The only one to ever get out of anything is kid Hassan (one of the hundred face). Cursed Arm is oldest, then Asako (the main hundred face), then Serenity.

"I am very disappointed in ALL of you, have you all lost your heads? I swear I-*to kid Hassan*-ah no Habibi not you you're fine here have a candy-*back to the rest*-I KNOW you're better than this!"

VERY traditional guy, Cursed Arm mutters "Oh for God's sake" while doing a pop quiz and King Hassan looms over him and growls, "No Blaspheming In This Class Room"

For the various Artoria/Arturias, I imagined Lancer and Lancer Alter being sisters, so Saber Alter is a cousin. That leaves everyone else to just be sisters with one brother. Mother Lartoria owns a casino and gas her own yacht in reference to the summer event where she became a Ruler. If you want MHX could be a part of the family as a massive fucking Star Wars nerd. MHXX and MHX Alter are her mom and sister (so MHXX is a third sister for the two Lancer Artorias)

For Irisviel, I remember in one of the Nero Fest things that she was called Therapist Iri. Maybe she starts to get into that b/c she wants to help her adoptive son Shirou (instead of a big fire like in Zero it can be an orphanage fire thing, similar situation but a much smaller scale) , so she is the school therapist/psychiatrist. Like Maruki in P5 Royal.

Iskandar died in his 30s, Waver is around his 30s as Lord El Melloi II. The two are old college friends who still hang out and Alexander is Iskandar’s kid.

If you guys want you can see this as the two being gay dads since I know that ship is popular.

Fran had an abusive father before Babbage and Moriarty got involved. In the og story, Frankenstien has a scientific mindset like his creator, here Fran has a talent in the field, but she also hates it b/c it reminds her of him. Like imagine being talented at the thing your abusive parent was good at/known for. Moriarty tried to get it into her that SHE'S the one with the talent, not her college dropout bum of a father, "From you tell me of him Victor couldn't engineer his way out of an argument with a cat, you have a magnificent mind my dear, not letting it flourish to spite him would be a horrible waste...it's your talent, your skill. Not his." He smiles that smile she loves that scares every one but she knows he only smiles like that when he is absolutely convinced of something, "and you can out perform him without breaking a sweat."

Moriarty teaches Fran sign language while Babbage teaches her some engineering.

Jekyll is going for a major in medicine with a minor in law (in the actual irl story Dr. Jekyll was a doctor in medicine and law).

For science associated servants, you got da Vinci, Babbage, Edison, and Tesla as possible science teachers.

The Jeanne sisters. Without the Avenger BS, the reason Jalter (or Joan as one series of fics calls her) could hate her here is just inferiority complex and being compared to her perfect saint big sister all her life. Joan does have her talents, based on the summer event an, but again she doesn't acknowledge her own talent b/c of her always being compared to her older sister., in the 7 counterfeit events she is a really good artist. And it is the typical thing of Jeanne actually being scared out of her wits of being less than perfect because of all the expectations thrust on her. She gets one A- and runs to the bathroom crying and Joan has to swallow her pride and actually have a conversation with her sister for the first time in years. Jeanne Alter lily puts up Christmas decorations super early, much to Jeanne Alter/Joan's displeasure.

"IT JUST TURNED NOVEMBER CHILL TF OUT!"

"CHRISTMAS!"

Martha is Jeanne's BF since middle school and has this HUGE dog that scares everyone and growls at anyone expect Martha and Jeanne. She calls him Terry.

Rex loves Penthesilea. and we talked at length about the situation between her and Achilles. Can you not tell that he likes a woman who can kick his ass *gestures to all of his Baiken posts*

Rex's idea: I think they had a fight when they were little and Achilles, being a little shit back then, made fun of her for being a girl, and Penth has been sore about it ever since. She keeps running into big misogynistic meatheads that reminded her of that and she just got angrier over the years. She's a wrestler and can knock out just about every dude in school by herself. Achilles is very regretful about back then and wants to apologize but Penth ain't having any of it.

My idea: I thought they were on opposing HS sports teams and when Achilles handed her ass to her he forgot to drink his respect women juice and then Penth got all pissed.

In this AU, Penth and Hippolyta's dad was a general who taught them how to kick the ass of men twice their size since they were seven or something.

Penth surprises everyone when a festival comes up and she gets picked to be the one to organize everything...and does a spectacular job. Another surprise is that she plans on being a business major when she goes to college (Obligatory Amazoness CEO jokes)

Bedivere is the Arturia Pendragon family butler with a prosthetic arm. He's also the security guard, last guy that tried to steal something or cause trouble got slapped right out of the window he sneaked in from.

Francis Drake and Artoria Alter Lancer are work friends (referencing them both being associated with the Wild Hunt in F/GO's lore).

Beni-Enma is the short and shorter tempered lunch lady, last kid who mouthed off at her during lunch got smacked upside the head with her spoon. She's sweet, but if you're in detention and have to help her in the kitchen she's a mini Gorden Ramsey, "IT'S RAW DECHI!!!" She can also come into the home EC class where Shirou is her best student. Also her roasting of the other girls like in her quest. Getting Fs in Beni's class is the worst, because it isn't just an F, it's a meticulous dressing down of exactly why letting into a kitchen should be considered a war crime, dechi.

The three Avenger Nobus are three different people. 1st Ascension is basically Archer Nobu, then you got Oda Kipposhi, and then the mom is Ascension 3 with Demon King Nobunaga. The youngest Ascension 1 Nobu is a musician. Demon King Nobu is one of those "super scary but also super polite people that only makes them scarier" type, basically a female koei Nobunaga from samurai warriors (check out some cutscenes form the games with him, he's a treat).

Imagine Demon King Nobu mom in a business suit.

Suzuka Gozen and Sei Shonagon are the textaholics who always talk in slang to the point of it sounding like they speak a different language. Murasaki is the librarian but Sei is like that ONE student who just makes her job so much harder.

Every week it's "No phones in the library Miss Shonagon." while Sei rolls her eyes and types out twitter post like "fugly ol librarian at my school needs a life lol"

Oui Katsushika is a gifted art student, and her dad (not a floating little octopus), is just a normal dude with a squid/octopus like beard. She's the teacher's pet in De Vinci's art class.

Eresh and Ishtar come from a rich family, Ereshkigal is the older sister so she had a shit load of responsibility to take over the family business while Ishtar basically gets to party her life away. Rin is the cousin they each try and swing their way. Eresh wants Rin to keep up her studies and get into a good university, Ishtar wants Rin to loosen the fuck up and admit that she likes that scrawny Emiya kid already.

BB is the host of a talk show downtown so she is kind of an absentee mom. Meltryllis has prosthetic legs that she specifically asked to be made into stilts b/c she wanted to be taller, and Passonlip has a massive rack that makes life difficult (either people staring, people assuming she's gonna be a home wrecker b/c said staring must be intentional, etc.), and of course he also has prosthetic arms to match her canon claws, obviously not as massive.

Hijikata is a very serious police officer but his wife Carmilla just uses this to have fun in the bedroom. They have two Dobermans. Hijikata's route has him patrolling near the school so most of the kids know as that scary police dude that has a picture of his wife in his pocket. One day a famous Idol called Eli-chan~ (yes spelled with the ~) is about to perform in the town and the kids can't stop talking about her, so Hijikata overhears. But, being the serious dude he is he shrugs it off until he sees a picture of this "Eli-chan~" and realizes it's his sister-in-law that came to visit and suddenly the influx of parasitic paparazzi near his house start making sense.

Carmilla: "Now you see why I hate them?", Hijikata: "No you cannot send the dogs after them honey."

She almost ran one of them over in her, very expensive, car and when that reporter says she should be locked up Hijikata corrects that would only happen if she had hit him...and she would be fined. For littering.

Okita Alter being Hijikata's partner, while Okita is her younger sister who's looked up to Hijikata since she was a little kid but she has asthma and such so she's afraid she might not get accepted.

Sigurd owns a metalworks shop (referencing his myth where he was raised by the dwarf Reginn), he met his wife Brynhildr when she was disowned by her overly controlling father.

Ozymandias, Nitocris, and Cleopatra are all the high board members of a company. Nitocris specifically got wind of Scheherazade's abusive husband situation and after getting said husband arrested, she offered Scheherazade a job.

Atalanta is a college student/TA who worked with Achilles' dad who ends up at their HS for a program or something, Achilles' dad has told him a lot about her.

Amakusa Shirou is an uncle married to the CEO of Babylon Gardens Pharmaceuticals, Semiramis. Semiramis herself is kinda chill if REALLY scary. She had to be pretty cutthroat to get to her position in the company, but Amakusa Shirou helped her mellow out, but she is still a massive tsundere.

"You know you COULD poison their lunch." "Semi, dear, I'm not going to poison my coworker's sandwich for being an ass." "It wouldn't kill them! Just a bit in their peanut better and they'll be stuck on the toilet for a week, no harm no foul."

Rex initially said Taiga would be an overly enthusiastic gym teacher but then I remembered that she was a homeroom/English teacher in Fate canon, but either or can do if you wanna be unique.

For Quetzalcoatl, Wrestling club supervisor when she isn't the senior year gym teacher. Some of the male students laughed that they didn't think a woman would know anything about wrestling. Two piledrives later, the students have earned a new appreciation for the importance on how not to be two pieces of shit. She's big on Lucha as in canon and during Halloween she gets JAGUARMAN to have an exhibition fight with her. They make a show of it but later on Taiga admits that Quatz could have CRUSHED her if they were actually fighting. She takes the wrestling club out for homemade Mexican food after tournaments

For Siduri, there's a bunch of rumors she's dating Caster Gil but it's strictly professional, Caster respects her too much to consider that. Archer Gil hits on her relentlessly, she manages to wound his ego more severely then anyone else simply by being unfailingly polite in her rejections and treating him like what he is, a teenage punk jumping higher than he can handle to land.

Ibaraki is Shuten's adoptive little sister after she was taken from an abusive mother, hence why Ibaraki looks up to her. Ibuki is either Shuten's big sister who had to take on a guardian role, or just her mom. Shuten and Ibuki have a bit of a strained relationship because Shuten saw the way Ibuki acted as they grew up, taking more and more responsibilities onto herself and refusing any distractions. And she decided that her biggest nightmare is to wake up one morning and realize she's turned into Ibuki so she tries to do everything to avoid that, hence their relationship not being the best. Ibaraki is kinda stuck in the middle because she wants to side with Shuten but she sees where Ibuki is coming from. Messy.

Caren is still Kotomine’s daughter, but he isn’t a good dad and in rebellion she sleeps around despite being a woman of god. Including sleeping with local punk Angra Mainyu. Angra Mainyu seems like a bad guy but he has a shit load of issues due to being blamed for everything going wrong in his old town, eventually coming to believe them and thinking he will cause nothing but problems. Caren banging him gives him a type of closeness he’s never felt, but under very warped circumstances.

For the Tamamo family, Vitch totally fucked her way up a corporate ladder or something, imagined Tamamo Cat working at a Cat Cafe if she were a Student. Tamamo no Mae accidentally fed her prev BF a food he was allergic too, and that kind of haunted her and scared her rep. IDK basically she seriously fucked up a previous relationship, either on purpose or accidentally, and that kind of hurts her deeply so she wants to start over with Hakuno.

Nero and Tamamo no Mae are rivals over this one guy.

Kiichi Hougen is the adoptive mom, Benkei is the family friend/uncle, Taira is Ushiwaka's older sister. Taira isn't on the best of terms with her family, some drama way back caused a rift and nowadays Ushi is the only one who's willing to talk to her and visit. Benkei never lets her go alone because he doesn't trust Taira one bit. Taira and Ushiwaka are Kintoki and Tomoe's cousins (I say Tomoe b/c apparently her husband and Ushiwaka were half cousins, with their grandpa having kids with their grandmas. I tried to make a whole family tree out of a few servants).

These are the ideas we had the most to talk about, if you guys have any suggestions for your fav servants in this AU, let either me or Rex know. Or just reblog and say them here. Who knows maybe you have a much better idea for a Servant we already mentioned.

[bellakitse]

Master post - 30 days of Tarlos

30 Tarlos One-shots - Master Post

{thanks to @insidious-intent​ for the gif. ❤}

Complete Series on AO3

Day 1 - I’ll be here for you - 1.5K

“I can’t believe you came here instead of going home,” TK whispers when the kiss ends, his green eyes shining bright with affection and a little amusement. “You really didn’t have to.”

*

When TK can't sleep, Carlos comes to be with him at the firehouse.

Day 2 - Sunshine Smile Today - 1.3K

Marjan lets out a giggle that she tries to cover with her hand, it’s high-pitched and adorable and makes TK grin. He turns his head to look back at the boys still in the middle of their challenge; his smile grows when he catches Carlos’ eyes, grinning at him as he pulls himself up again.

“He’s gorgeous,” Marjan continues, agreeing with him. “But what’s really great about him is how happy he makes you. It’s such a difference.”

*

Marjan notices how happy TK is compared to before.

Day 3 - The Last of the Romantics - 1.5K

Michelle has a history of setting Carlos up with the worse guys possible, she swears this time it's different.

* “Tell me about him,” he says resigned, knowing he’s been played by the way Michelle instantly perks up.

“He’s one of the new members at the 126,” she starts with a grin. “And Carlos, he’s so pretty.”

Day 4 - A Witness to their Love - 1.7K

Owen doesn’t call attention to himself for a moment as TK and Carlos get lost in each other. His heart squeezes tight as he watches. His son looks happier than he can remember in the longest time.

*

Owen is a witness to his son falling in love.

Day 5 - lost in every inch of you - 2.3K

“What, baby?” Carlos questions when he stops. “What do you need?”

“You?” he says in a question, licking his lips.

*

TK comes home after a long shift, needing to touch his boyfriend.

Day 6 - A Change in Title - 1.2K

“You just called me your boyfriend,” he says as he starts to smile.

TK’s eyes widen, his words seem just now to be catching up with him, and there is the start of a pretty blush on his face. “Uh –“

*

While out with Carlos, TK hides from someone he rescued, it starts a conversation and ends in a change of status between them.

Day 7 - of chicken flautas and intimidating mothers - 1.8K

“I know we saw each other just last night, but I already missed you.”

Carlos' heart flutters at TK’s words and touch, but he can’t forget the tiny force to be reckoned with, not forty feet away. “That’s really sweet, and I feel exactly the same way,” he continues. “But my mom is here, and she’s watching us – no, don’t look around!”

*

It’s the annual first responders’ cookout and Carlos is about to introduce his boyfriend to his mother.

Day 8 - Let's Start with Breakfast - 2.1K

“Hi, you must be TK,” he says, turning around to face him fully, and TK doesn’t know where to look – that beautiful face with a head full of curls he wants to sink his hands into, or the perfectly chiseled chest that reminds TK of studying about Michelangelo’s David in his art studies course. “I’m Carlos.”

*

TK wakes up in his friend's apartment and meets his new roommate, Carlos.

Day 9 - Midnight Talk about Boys - 1.8K

Marjan watches as whatever the other person on the phone – obviously someone TK is seeing – talks to him, whatever the other man is saying makes TK all but melt into the cushions of the couch as he leans back and stares dreamily at the ceiling.

*

When Marjan can't sleep, she finds TK in the common area talking lovingly to someone on the phone.

Day 10 - Let's Go to the Mall - 2.4K

While at the mall, TK finds a little girl crying because she can't find her mother and uncle. Imagine TK's surprise when her uncle turns out to be his boyfriend.

Day 11 - The Forever Tamales - 4.0K

“Marriage Tamales?” he asks, confused, his heart ticking upward as the sisters nod and smirk at him and Carlos.

They start to explain the significance of the special dish. Every word they utter makes his heart race as he tries to come to terms with the fact that Carlos made him a dish so important to his family.

* A companion piece to 'The Marriage Tamales' from TK's POV

Day 12 - Stumbling a Step - 2.2K

The drive to work is quiet, out of the corner of his eye he sees Carlos grip the steering wheel a little harder as the car comes to a stop in front of the firehouse.

“I have a long shift today,” he says, his tone stiff. “I won’t be home until after midnight.”

TK looks over at his boyfriend; it’s the first thing Carlos has said since their shout out the night before.

*

A fight with Carlos leaves TK in a foul mood. Judd sets him straight.

Day 13 - chicken soup and mashed potatoes - 1.4K

Carlos wakes up with a pounding headache as his alarm goes off. The tickle in his throat he had the night before now feels like knives; it hurts to swallow.

*

When Carlos is sick, TK is there to take care of him.

Day 14 - Cuervo Confessions - 1.2K

“What’s so pretty about TK, Carlos?” she asks, her blue eyes twinkling when Carlos lights up at the question.

*

Drunk Carlos is adorably in love with his boyfriend and has no filter.

Day 15 - Pancakes and Coffee Syrup - 2.1K

Opening the bathroom door again, he stops, freezing like a deer caught in the headlights when he finds his boyfriend’s father standing just outside the bathroom. From the way he’s dressed, it’s obvious he’s just come home from the overnight TK told him he was on.

“Good morning, Carlos,” he greets him calmly. Like this is a regular occurrence for them to run into each other outside his bathroom, and instead, not the first time ever that Carlos has spent the night in his house.

*

Carlos spends the night at the Strand household, Owen makes him breakfast in the morning.

Day 16 - We begin on a Tuesday - 1.8K - Part 1 of Days that Matter series

When the 126 have a spot to fill in their crew, Judd recommends his buddy Carlos Reyes from the 121.

*

Firefighter Carlos AU!

Day 17 - on Wednesday we fell - 2.1K - Part 2 of Days that Matter series

Carlos has been part of the 126 for three months now, every day TK falls for him a little more. After a nightmare, TK can't hold back his feelings anymore.

Day 18 - I was born Thursday's Child - 2.5K - Part 3 of Days that Matter series

“It’s Carlos, sir,” Judd gets out quickly, and TK feels an ice-cold fear run up his spine at the urgency he hears in his friend’s voice. “He was a step behind me, the floor caved, and he went through into the basement.”

*

Carlos gets hurt on a call.

Day 19 - Friday, I'm in Love - 1.1K -  Part 4 of Days that Matter series

Eight months after Carlos' accident, TK and he are more in love than ever. They also have some news for their family.

Day 20 - Meddle, meddle, meddle - 1.8K

Carlos is having a few drinks with his sisters when the conversation turns to his love life. When they dare him to pick up someone at the bar, Carlos knows exactly who to go for.

* “Fine,” he says, already standing up, he points at the man at the bar. “I’ll play your game, not only am I getting his number, I’m not coming back to the table, I’m going home with him.”

Day 21 - That Green Colored Thing - 1.8K

TK Strand is not jealous.

Just because Carlos has been across the bar for the last fifteen minutes, talking to some handsome idiot who doesn’t seem to understand the concept of personal space and is so close to Carlos, they might as well be glued together doesn’t mean he’s jealous.

Day 22 - Midnight Solace - 1.3K

When not being able to sleep triggers a panic attack, Carlos is there to help TK through it.

Day 23 - We were meant for one another, come a little closer - 3.0K

TK stares at him, mouth open, and Carlos can’t help but stare back as his heart pounds loudly in his ears. He feels naked, like every feeling he’s been hiding from TK for so long is now on the surface for him to see.

*

Carlos and TK are best friends and roommates. When TK comes home from a failed date, it reveals long-time hidden feelings.

Day 24 - Worth it - 1.0K

They get called to a standoff situation in a laboratory building downtown. TK is in the middle of helping create a perimeter with Paul when he hears a familiar voice over the radio and realizes with a sense of dread that it’s not just Austin Police that is inside, but it’s also his boyfriend of five months, Carlos.

*

When Carlos is in a dangerous situation TK can't hold back.

Day 25 - Sealed with a Kiss - 2.3K

Carlos is in the middle of finishing the last of his daily reports when the first text comes in, followed quickly by a second.

‘What time are you coming home, baby?’

‘I miss you.’

'I’m waiting in bed…for you.’

*

TK is a menace, Carlos loves him anyway.

Day 26 - Super Papa - 1.5K

Luca looks at him with wide eyes. “Papa a hero?” he asks, probably remembering what the reporter had called his father.

“Papa is a big hero,” he answers his boy.

*

TK watches Carlos on the news with their son.

Day 27 - Stating Intentions - 1.5K

“TK, if you don’t stop fidgeting, I am going to tie you to the flag pole and leave you there.”

*

TK worries in the kitchen of the firehouse while Carlos and his dad talk in his office, it distracts Paul from his cooking with his fidgeting.

Day 28 - One for the Pro column - 1.7K

While at the gym, TK runs into Carlos, the officer he danced with two weeks ago and hasn't been able to stop thinking about since.

Day 29 - Future Tamales - 1.9K

TK visits Carlos' mom to ask her a very important question and to ask for a special recipe.

The final part to 'The Marriage Tamales'

Day 30 - TK’s perfect and simple morning - 1.3K

TK Strand-Reyes wakes up to his bed slightly shaking, and soft little boy giggles followed by an amused ‘shhh’ from his husband.

*

Luca and Carlos make TK breakfast after he had an accident at work.

[codenamebooks]

Me Before You Book Review

(Me Before You series, Book #1) by Jojo Moyes

3/5 stars | CW: (attempted) suicide, sexual assault, pregnancy, cheating

Louisa Clark, an eccentric dressing twenty-seven year old who just lost her job. In the search of a new job, the only option left is a caregiver for a quadriplegic man named Will Traynor. Although she goes in expecting an old man, she meets the thirty-five year old who used to be a big businessman and an adventurer. Together, they find comfort in each other’s presence that they hadn’t had in a long time as Louisa sets out on a mission to get Will not to go through with assisted suicide.

I have to admit that this book was fun more often than irritating. I fell into a reading slump as soon as the new year began and I don’t know if the book caused it or not. Regardless, I still managed to smile and laugh during a good portion of the book that allowed me to give it three stars.

The only thing that I liked, and I liked it a lot, was Will and Louisa’s relationship most of the time. The banter caused by their opposing lifestyles is adorable if nothing else. They become so important to each other that I can’t imagine them separated, even if Louisa is in another relationship for 75% of the novel. It’s also an odd hate-to-love because it’s based on reliance and necessity. Will needs a caretaker, in this situation, a glorified babysitter, due to his disability and Louisa needs a job. The arc of the relationship is not exactly slow burn but it’s not insta-love either and that makes it reasonable and enjoyable.

I have to admit that I basically hate Louisa when she’s not with Will (and sometimes when she is). She was rude, selfish, and immature any chance she got. That doesn’t only go for her, it goes for every other character besides Will and Nathan. The first thing that made me uncomfortable is that Louisa is so offensive towards teen/“young” moms. Her sister, Treena, dropped out of college to have a baby and Louisa can’t seem to shut the fuck up about it. This tries to be justified since Louisa was compared to Treena all her life as the dumb one. I don’t care. Treena and her son are seen as a burden in Louisa’s eyes because Treena can’t work a high-paying job meaning she can’t help provide for the family. Louisa takes this out on Treena as if she isn’t also an able-adult who can work with no child or restrictions. She acts selfishly in many other situations. The worst one being her publicly embarrassing Will when she was at fault for not doing proper research after having a heart-to-heart with Will about people assuming what’s best for him. Her behavior was continuously childish and not a personality trait that I want to see from a 30 year old.

Everyone else is just the same. Every character is incredibly selfish and doesn’t think about the consequences of their actions or words. This goes for Will’s parents, Will’s sister, Treena, Louisa’s parents, Louisa’s boyfriend, and some of Will’s old friends and coworkers. It’s disgusting to see that, even if Will reversed his decision to give up his life and be a jolly ol’ fellow, they would probably still treat him or even each other that way. Yet half of them blame it on Will and the distress “he has caused them”. They are too grown to be acting this way.

As a formal announcement, not that anyone cares, I will not be continuing this series because of the characters. If I only cared about Will, why would I want to continue reading if he isn’t around? I don’t believe at all that this needs three more books, no matter what is in them. The epilogue could have been a bit longer to solidify the point of the whole book to see Louisa come out of her shell. She did. The fact that she was in Paris less than a month after Will’s death shows us that. That she’s listening to Will from the grave, shows us that growth.

If you enjoy dramatic adult romances, then this is the book for you. If you love hate-to-love romances, then this is the book for you. If you want witty banter, then you should really pick up this novel.