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when you really hate the fuck out of someone but you cant say shit because everyone else loves them and you know deep down in your cold dead heart that they’re a terrible person
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at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i signed it as donald duck i always sign as donald duck im sorry”
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seriously mom stop laughing or i’ll have someone else take my nude pics
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I’ve invented ‘The Knife-Wielding Tentacle'👍
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when your friends are talking about stuff you don’t understand but you still want to be part of the conversation
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