#I only got like three hours of sleep last night forgive me if this is bad 🙏🙏

[lumitylovepill]

I only realized after how to add more tiers but Im too lazy to go back and fix them 💀

Ignore the bottom ones please (Spife don’t come at me for what I said about Miyuri🙏😭its all jokes I love her)

[sturniqlo]

Forgive Me- C.S

summary: chris cannot go to sleep without apologizing to his girlfriend blurb

cw: not tooo angsty?

an: chris saying he can't go to sleep until he apologizes to nick or matt did something to me

masterlist | join my taglist

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Seven hours, it had been seven hours since both Y/n and Chris have spoken a word to each other. Their argument was at around three and it was now ten. Y/n was getting ready for bed in their shared bathroom while Chris was still in the living room doing who knows what.

Y/n did her last step to her skincare routine and massaged her moisturizer on her face. Then, the detangled her hair and headed for bed. She sighed as she turned off the light and got under the covers. She was missing something- someone.

This was one of their first actual arguments. Yeah, they've had little fights here and there but never like this. She had stormed out, needing some time to herself. She couldn't do it here, not when he was in the house as her. So, she stayed in her car until she was ready to go back in. Now, they're in this position, they've been ignoring each other all afternoon.

For lunch, which Y/n usually makes for both of them, Chris postmated some food and Y/n made herself some lunch. They ate thier meals in different rooms, Chris stayed in the kitchen while Y/n went to the living room. When Chris would enter the living room, Y/m would get up and go to the bathroom, so did Chris when Y/n entered a room he was in.

Y/n turned off her bedside lamp and the room went completely dark. She tossed and turned, until she eventually fell asleep.

It must've been about two hours or more until Chris started to yawn. He contemplated whether or not to sleep in the living room, but he eventually decided he'd sleep in thier room with Y/n. He got ready for bed, changing his clothes and brushing his teeth. When he opened the bedroom door, the light from the hallway lightly lit up the room and he saw Y/n sound asleep facing away from his side of the bed.

He quietly closed the door and got under the covers next to Y/n. He put his phone on his nightstand and tried to go to sleep. However, he couldn't. He laid there with his eyes open staring at the door, the ceiling or when he turned over he started at Y/n's back side. I have to apologize. He thought. "Baby." He propped himself up on one elbow and tapped her shoulder with his free arm. No response. "Babe." He shook her lightly and she moved. "Mm?" She hummed sleepily.

"Are you sleeping?" He asked. What a dumb question. "No shit." Y/n responded, she hated when her sleep got interrupted. Chris let out a breathy laugh. "Can we talk?" He mumbled. "About what?" She finally turned around to face him although she could only see his silhouette. "Our argument from earlier today." He said. "How about in the morning, I'm really tired." She tried to turn back around but he lightly grabbed her shoulder.

"No, now. I- I can't sleep. I have to apologize." Chris spoke softly. "Fine." She finally agreed and turned around to turn her lamp on. Chris finally saw her face. Her eyes were adjusting to the bright light and her hair was slightly on her face. She looked cute. "I'm really sorry about my behavior earlier today. It just that Nick and Matt weren't answering me for our meeting tomorrow and our work and our schedules are all over the place." He bagan. "And- I got easily pressed over something so stupid. I'm sorry, babe. Do you forgive me?" He touched her cheek.

"I do. Everyone has their bad days, you know? I just- I wish you would've told me about what you were going through, maybe I could've helped you or something." She smiled softly. "I- I will next time and all the times after that, okay?" He made a promise and Chris never broke his promises. "Okay."

"Now come here, I wanna cuddle you all night." Y/n giggled at his eagerness so she turned the lamp off and scooted over to Chris.

"I will never try to go to sleep mad at you, it's torture."

[obsessiveloveistheonlylove]

Hey, I've read your last yandere Bruce, neglected fam reader and it gave me an idea. What if instead of the reader wasting all that money or luxury, she saved most of it in a closed account and when Bruce bought the apartment she made him sign it in her name as a plan to when the right time comes or if she needs to, she will sell the apartment and use all the money she saved to leave to start over in another country. Imagine Bruce finding out when she reaches the point where she put her apartment for sale, or better, actually selling it to a friend or someone they know and actually leaving.

Yan!batfam with neglected!sister reader leaving the state/country

Anon your mind is fucking golden! I also thought of the reader having the apartment signed in her name just because Bruce wanted her to feel comfortable but I love the layers this adds.

Hopefully these couple of hcs are good enough while I work on pt 2. Also if anyone else has any questions about any other scenarios or certain characters feel free to send them in I'll try to respond whenever I have time and I write for any gender reader.

Word count ; 1073

Unedited

___

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ bruce is not happy with this turn of events at all. He wasn't expecting nor did he sense that this was going to happen, you didn't post about it or even reference moving on any of your social media apps which he lovingly stalks watches over to make sure you are content with your life and also because he likes seeing you happy and enjoying all the things he got you. And it hurts him a little that you didn't even say something to him … he knows you don't owe him that, not when your relationship is still in a fragile state but he's trying.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ he only figures out after someone in the fam(most likely dick) broke in dropped by your apartment and likely scared one of your friends shitless.. obviously both parties are shocked but your friend more so as they don't know who the hell just broke into their house, dick is shocked when this random person claims that he's trespassing in their home. After that awkward situation dick immediately reports back to Bruce about this over the comms and with some digging from Tim they're able to find out that you had sold the house and the exact date that you had, approximately a month ago. That sends off alarm bells for the entire batfam, where are you now?! It takes an hour or so of searching to find out exactly where you moved and when they do they can't decide what to do with the information.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚Alfred is the voice of reason in this family, he discourages the batboys from immediately doing everything in their power to bring you home, he advocated for you to live wherever you choose and says that it's your life and that the family cannot choose for you. Alfred loves you dearly you are basically his child he views you the way he views Bruce. He may be a yandere but he's a selfless one he truly only has your best interest in mind. His words are like a slap of reality for some of the Batfam mainly Tim, Steph and Jason all three of then become a lot more hesitant to go through with their plans to bring you home on the other hand dick, bruce, and damian are adamant that you aren't safe unless they can be nearby.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Nobody can come to a decision the night they find out and so they decide to sleep on it until they can come to an agreement the manor will be tense for a week or two at most before they spring into action, they will all eventually cave to their selfish needs even if some feel guilty for doing it. Alfred will sigh disappointedly but ultimately allow them to go through with their plans he only hopes you can forgive him for not doing more

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ you on the other hand will be left unaware to all that's going down you'd gotten a new phone and lived in a whole new state maybe even country! They couldn't bother you here. You were happier than you have been for a long time. Even if you missed your old friends you still tried to keep in touch over the phone.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ as for why you did this? It's likely the other batboys' faults, Bruce is annoying but he's not nearly as demanding of your time as the others, namely dick. Dick is insanely clingy once you're on his radar and he becomes aware of how much his neglect affected you mentally. The guilt for him was all consuming when he found out how much he hurt you and that he neglected you for quite literally no reason, you just didn't matter to him at the time. the thought now makes him sick, of course you matter, what the hell was his problem!! Dick would have constantly broke your boundaries by hugging and touching and cuddling you he feels like he needs to make it up to you by being a good big brother, even if that's not what you need anymore after all it's far too late you're already an adult but he refuses to see it that way you're still his baby sister. He inserts himself into your life constantly and even if he'll pay for things he'll only do so under the circumstances that the money be spent ‘together’ like sure he'll take you to that fancy restaurant but it's going to be made into a sister-brother bonding moment, like yeah he'll let you use his card to go shopping but only if he's going with you. Even if you don't use him for money he will still find ways to insert himself into your life. He's overwhelmingly intense and his behavior mixed with the other overbearing members in the batfam plus the added overwhelming feelings of having people who ignored you all your life suddenly want your time and attention is probably why you felt like you had to leave.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ you won't be gone for more than a month or two before your dragged back to Gotham and back to your family, only this time you've got a metaphorical collar around your neck as now you're likely brought back to the manor always under surveillance and on the off chance you're still allowed to own your own apartment again just know it will be heavily bugged along with your phone courtesy of Tim even if he feels bad about invading your privacy he knows they need to see your texts to make sure you're not planning to leave Gotham again. Oh and now the bat members will each take turn patrolling your house and following you from the shadows to make sure you're safe.

___

All in all I'd say you'll have your fun for a little while but ultimately you'll just drive them deeper in their obsession and they will likely kidnap and bring you home.

[vashs-turtleneck]

Three Empty Words.

✧ More than friends, less than lovers.

Rating: EXPLICIT (18+ ONLY)

Summary: You love Vash. Does he love you back? It's complicated. Pairing: Vash the Stampede x reader Wc: 1.8k Cw: angst, smut, situationship, penetrative sex, pwp, crying, rough sex. An: trying to get myself back into writing after being gone for a little bit so sorry if this is a little bit messy! Also I don't usually do song recs buuuuut Song Recommendation: Sugar - Sleep Token

Vash is emotional.

He'd probably never outright admit that to you, and he seems awfully intent on keeping you at an arm's length no matter what you do, but you've been around him long enough to notice those rare and faint cracks in that perfect facade. As much as he tries to hide it, you can see it. His eyes are sad and his smile is hollow. He desperately seeks for love in a world where it feels impossible to find, and yet denies himself of it when it's right there, walking alongside him.

But there are some nights, after particularly strenuous travels and when too much venom has been spat his way where that handsome facade finally cracks. 

He's vulnerable, and he reaches for you, baring to you his fleeting moments of weakness. Deep down, you know what he's really searching for. Forgiveness, acceptance, love. But now, he seeks you for comfort in any way you're willing to give it to him and as much as you are willing to give him. He wants mercy. At least for the evening.

His will is strong enough that he'll never allow himself to have you, but just weak enough that he can't truly resist you. He yearns for you.

And you're not quite sure how it all started, or how you both got to this point - how you let things get so messy - but damn it you'd be lying if you said you didn't want this in any form. As long as you can have him. Even if it's just physically. Even if it's just for a night.

Sometimes it's loving, with worshipful hands – one smooth and cold, one warm and calloused – tracing your lines with a reverence you have to tell yourself isn't real. With wet lips pressing featherlight kisses along the curves of your neck and down the divot of your collarbone, his mouth wandering a slow, meandering path along your body and meticulously etching out every spot that makes your breath hitch like he's trying to commit it to memory.

It's tender, with languid strokes that have one orgasm flowing into the next, until you're left a pliable, boneless mess beneath him, whimpering his name over and over and your body begging for him to do whatever he wants to you. Luckily for you, you're in good hands. He's here to take care of you, even if it's for his own selfish reasons.

Your name falls off his lips like a plea for forgiveness, kisses oh so tender, drinking your moans like they're the sweetest ambrosia. He roves over your body with intimate familiarity and pulls you apart piece by piece with his fingers, his mouth, his cock, cataloging every inch of your skin before he puts you back together so he can do it all over again, all while whispering a litany of praises and sweet nothings.

“You're so beautiful when you're like this. Always so perfect, mayfly.”

“You're doing so well, feel so good around me.”

“Am I hurting you? Don’t wanna hurt you, sweetheart. Just wanna make you feel good.”

“Let me just move your legs like– Yeah, like that. That feels good, right? Just like that. Now I can fuck you deeper.”

“You like me filling you with my cock like this, mayfly? You take me so well. So perfectly.”

“You're so pretty like this. All flushed and delicate.”

“Not so fast, angel. Wanna make this last. Wanna savour you.”

“So beautiful when you come. I could watch you for hours.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Sweet, beautiful, angelic, the words dripping from his lips like syrup. You hold on to them while you can, because you know they'll be gone come morning.

You wish he'd let you in. You wish he'd truly open up to you and not only seek you out when he's desperate. Fuck, you love him. You see him at his most vulnerable moments, you hold him close when he lets you, and you let him take pleasure in your body as he needs because you love him, all sides of him.

But, Vash is also angry, and that's a side of him he keeps hidden even in his most delicate moments. 

Sometimes, those feelings he keeps buried deep bubble up. When he's completely run out of those briefly lucky moments and he's forced to face the darkest, sickest sides of what humanity has to offer and he's made to question what it's all even for.

Sometimes it's almost selfish, possessive, with him wordlessly cornering you and his large frame caging you in against the nearest surface, strategically leaning his arm up on the wall next to your head so that you have nowhere else to run off to, nothing else to look at, only him - wholly commanding your attention with sapphire eyes begging for something he knows you can give him. He needs a reminder, and you're far too swooped up in the typhoon to deny him. 

It's impatient, with his flesh and bone hand holding your hip in a bruising grip while cool metal keeps your face forcefully pressed down into the dusty sheets. You wouldn't be able to cry out for him to stop even if you wanted to as he steals your breath away every time his scarred hips slam against the softness of your ass, your desperation making itself obvious to him in the form of the slickness pouring from between your thighs. He has your mind swirling under his ruthless onslaught of pleasure as he takes full advantage of each and every one of your lewdest weaknesses. He knows exactly where to touch, where to taste, where to tease, where to bite, red marks littering your pretty neck that'll bloom into faint purples and blues come morning. The dingy walls echo with the wet sounds of flesh connecting as he starts greedily chasing his own pleasure with every rolling buck of his stuttering hips, your name spilling from his lips like a curse, fucking you like it's another sin for him to bare.

“Take it. Take all of it, mayfly. I know you can.”

“Spread your legs wider. Wider.”

“Look at you. Such a mess.”

“Gonna fuck you dumb, make sure you don't know which way is up or down when I'm done with you. Until the only thing you know is me.”

“Say my name.”

“Say it louder.”

“Touch yourself. Wanna watch you cream on my cock.”

“That's it. Fuck– That's it.”

“So fucking pretty when you fall apart.”

“Come for me. Come for me now.”

“Such a good little thing for me. Nobody else gets to touch you like this, make you moan like this, fill you up like this.”

“Tell me it's all for me. Tell me it's all mine.”

“Look at me.”

“Let me see you break.”

And when his breaths calm and his pleasure filled haze fades, when that fleeting moment of rapture dissipates, the guilt comes flooding back, leaving him faced with where he is, what he's done, and worst of all, who he's done it all with.

No matter how it goes, it always ends the same way, with him whispering his broken apologies as streams of tears pour from those ethereal pools of azure.

“I'm sorry.” 

“I'm so sorry, mayfly.” 

“I'm so sorry.”

It doesn't matter how many times you try to comfort him, how many times you tell him that you want this, or that you want him. Your sweet and gentle words do nothing to ease the ache he feels in his chest. If anything, you're making it worse. 

“I don't deserve this. Any of this.”

“Especially not you.”

“Never you.”

He always stays close to you for the night. He sobs and lets his tears fall on the skin where your neck meets your shoulder, brokenly weeping his regrets, begging you for forgiveness. He cries until the exhaustion seeps into his bones and pulls him into a deep sleep, his tears still staining his cheeks and his limbs still tangled with yours.

You wrap your arms around him and keep him pressed to you, savouring the soothing heat of his body on your skin, the feeling of his breath on your neck, the peaceful tempo of his inhales and exhales. Your thumbs brush away any remaining tears, your fingers ghosting over his sun-kissed skin, dancing over the curve of his jaw, the highs of his cheekbones, over that cute little mole, down along the bridge of his nose until you're tracing over those slightly parted lips. You keep him close while you still have him, holding on to these fleeting moments of intimacy you get to indulge in. Like always, it'll be gone come morning.

It never goes into the morning. 

No, when the morning light spills through the curtains and when the suns rise, you both pretend none of it ever happened. He rolls off of you and walks off towards the shower without a word. His tear-stained eyes are still puffy and red, but they don't even look at you. He keeps quiet, and when you're both cleansed of any evidence of your passionate evening together, he gives you that lovely, empty smile that you've grown to recognize. 

It hurts every fucking time you see it.

You wander through empty desert together, making small talk, just like friends do. Never do you discuss what's happened, what you two are, what you feel.

Once again, you're kept at an arm's length.

Until the next night, or maybe it'll be the night after, when he's suddenly hugging you from behind with his breath on the column of your throat, whining and apologizing as he begs for you.

“I'm sorry. I know I don't deserve it, don't deserve you, but just… please. You're the only one I can trust with this.”

“Please, mayfly. I need you. I'm sorry.”

Sometimes, he waits until the marks he left on you have faded. Maybe it's so he can mark you up again, pretend like any and every part of you belongs to him and give in to that satisfaction he gets from knowing he's the one who does this to you, that he's the one who leaves you writhing and moaning and begging on soiled sheets for any ounce of his touch.

Or maybe it's so he can admire every inch of your divine, unclaimed flesh, and he can pretend he was never selfish enough to try to mark you to begin with. He can pretend that he was never so foolish as to believe he could touch the holy body that is you with his blightful and wicked hands.

And he can pretend that those three beautiful words never fell from his perfect lips.

divider source.

[melanieph321]

Here we go y'all, my 200th Ruben Dias fic!!! 🎉🎉🎉

This is a 10 part series where all chapters will be available on my Wattpad, Tumblr, and Patreon for free!

Three chapters will be released weekly where my members on Patreon will have access to all three chapters right away. However, parts 1, 2, and 3 will be available for all right away!

Now...without further ado I give you:

Ruben Dias x Reader - Summer Fling Part 1/10

Part 2 Part 3

Summary - Reader has landed a research job at a marine biology lab in Portugal. She is, therefore, staying with her sister and her sister's Portuguese boyfriend for the summer holidays. There, she meets Ruben Dias, who is on vacation with his friends after the 2024 Euros. However, the two meet under the circumstances in which Ruben believes that Reader is a prostitute.

Enjoy! ☀️

Your flight from Sydney, Australia, to Faro, Portugal, took 27 hours and 35 minutes. Yet, your jet lag from that flight lasted twice as many hours, including two bottles of melatonin drops.

"Does that stuff even work?" Your sister asked, as you unwillingly got up and out of bed to endure another nightly dose. She was occupying the bathroom upon your entry, doing her makeup, preparing for yet another night out.

"I don't know Maki, you tell me." You hissed. "It says here on the bottle that this stuff is supposed to help me fall asleep, but here I am talking to you."

"Gee, Y/N. It was just a question."

"Well, no more of those. I need to get my sleep schedule back before I start work this summer."

It wasn't by choice that you applied to a Portuguese marine biology lab to do your international research. Your sister has been living in the country for three years, as another one of her schemes to piss off your parents. Moving in with her for the summer meant free housing, a blessing for a broke student like yourself.

"Relax Y/N, you're not starting work for another week. How about you take this time to enjoy your stay here in Portugal, you know, have a bit of fun?"

"And how exactly will I do that?"

"Come with us to Albufeira."

"Us?"

"Yes, Diogo and I."

Diogo was your sister's infamous boyfriend. He was infamous for the plethora of times that he had broken up with her, only to beg for her forgiveness days later. And as always, your sister would eat it up, taking Diogo back in a heartbeat.

"He's the love of my life Y/N, get over yourself. '' She said, seeing the grimace you pulled. "Besides, he's got a job that pays well, and that's all I've ever wanted in a man."

"Wow, way to be pretentious, Maki."

"I don't even know what that means. But what I do know is that you're coming with us to Albufeira."

"No. I refuse."

"Come on, Y/N. I told mom and dad that I was looking after you this summer."

"No, I told mom and dad that I was looking after YOU this summer."

She shrugged. "Same thing."

"It's really not." 

"Yes, it is. It means that we need to stick together, through thick and thin." Your sister brought up her hand, urging you to pinky swear. You rolled your eyes but did not leave her hanging. "Through thick and thin." You nodded.

"Great!" She squealed. "Now....do you own a pair of G-strings?"

"What, no. Why would you even ask me that?"

"We're going to Albufeira baby. It's basically the Ibiza of Portugal."

"Right."

"We're gonna have so much fun!"

"Yay." You sighed, longing for the ability to sleep again. 

Part 2 Part 3

[eyesofshinigami]

A Day in the Life

Rating: G

CW: None

Tags: Established relationship, kidfic, tiny OC, married life, fluff

Prompt: For @shares-a-vest "Love is co-parenting"

WC: 618

Written for @steddielovemonth Day 15

The sun hasn’t even come up yet, when Eddie feels eyes on him. He groans, pretty sure he knows exactly what’s going on. He cracks an eye open and sighs when he sees a tiny face two inches from his nose. “Bug?” he grits out. A quick glance at the clock tells him it’s about three o’clock in the morning. “Y’okay?”

“Can’t sleep, daddy,” their daughter, Eleanor, shout-whispers. Eddie appreciates the effort but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s being woken up. 

He tries to get himself together enough to reply. “What do you mean? Bad dream?” He shuffles over and lifts the covers so that she can crawl inside. Thankfully, Steve is still sleeping, having had a late shift and he only crashed a couple of hours ago.

Eleanor climbs into bed and snuggles down in Eddie’s arms. Her warm little body curled up around Eddie makes him smile. “Yeah. Made me miss you and papa too much.” She gives him a little kiss on the chin. “Can I sleep here?”

Eddie tries not to sigh. As much as he loves baby snuggles with Eleanor, he finds it hard to sleep with her in the bed. He and Steve still have nightmares from their time in Hawkins, and the last thing he wants is to scare her when one of them wakes up screaming and flailing. Both of them would never forgive themselves if she got hurt because of it. “We can try, bug. We just can’t wake Papa up, okay? He worked late, remember?”

She nods and he can feel her breath puff against his chest as she yawns. “Pancakes tomorrow?” 

“Sure, bug.”

They manage to fall back asleep, even though Eddie feels more like he’s drifting on the edge of it the rest of the night. He feels like he has to peel his eyes open when Eleanor starts wiggling against him. “Bug?” 

“Time to wake up, daddy. You promised me pancakes?”

Damn it, half-awake Eddie sure did do that early in the morning. His head hurts a little and waking up feels like a monumental task, but he did promise. He goes to get up and climb out of bed, when he feels a hand on his shoulder. 

“I got it, baby. You go back to bed, okay?” he hears Steve say, right before his husband presses a kiss to his shoulder.

“Okay? You’re the one who worked late?” 

Steve chuckles, rolling Eddie over to kiss him on the mouth. Eleanor lets out a little shriek and an “ewww!” but they pretend not to hear her. Sorry that your parents love each other, kid. “Yeah, but you got up with Eleanor last night and I know how it is for you when she is in the bed. I’ll get up, make pancakes and keep her busy, then you can switch so I can take a nap later. Sound good?”

“Oh thank god, yes. I love you so much, Steve,” Eddie says, feeling his body sink back into the sheets. 

“Love you too, baby. Get some good sleep, okay?” Steve kisses him one more time before he climbs out of bed, swinging Eleanor up under his arm and making her giggle. “Tell your daddy to sleep well, Ms Rigby, and then we’ll go make those pancakes.”

In between giggles, she asks, “With chocolate chips? And that’s not my name! Silly Papa!” Steve nods, and from under his arm, she calls out sweetly, “Sleep good, daddy. We can play later, okay?”

“Okay, bug. Love you both,” he says, blowing them both kisses before he snuggles back down under the sheets. He falls asleep to the happy sounds coming from the kitchen, smiling the whole time. 

[blueberry-rose]

Dilf!Arlecchino x fem reader

Warning: smut, bondage, sesbian lex, gags, praises, and breeding kink.

Idk why but Arlecchino has a breeding kink. Also the first like half of this is fluff, with suggestive themes so I’ll mark where that starts. Also child Lyney is a little shit.

Forgive me I haven’t wrote a while 

Colors: Arlecchino, Lyney, Lynette, Freminet, you

Your babysitting for a ceo with three kid. You have been for almost a year, and every time you see her, Arlecchino you trip over your words she’s so tall and muscular it’s hard not too and it doesn’t help that you have a thing for older women. And her three small children Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet, tease you every time you stutter. Mostly lyney as he giggles anytime he hears you. And it doesn’t help that he just flat out asked you if you liked his father last time you badysat them. You went red and he started to giggle when Arlecchino arrived home not even 30 minutes later, you sometimes hate how smart that boy is. Which the arrived of arlecchino only made you more red, which then prompted her to ask if you felt ok, placing a hand on your forehead.

When you arrived to look after the kids the morning arlecchino was running late, and she looked off somehow. She was rushing and she seemed a bit flushed, you have never seen that woman running late she was very strict with timing. “Are you ok?”

“I’ll be fine, just make sure the kids get up and get food I’ll see you tonight.” She said as she adjusted her jacket before leaving. Then you saw lyney at the top of the stairs, always the first to wake up.

“Lyney do you know what’s wrong with your father?”

“She had a hard time sleeping last night.”

“Do you know why?” Lyney let out a little giggle.

“Nope, I’ll go get frem and Lyn up”

“And I’ll start cooking,” you couldn’t help but notice that you only saw Arlecchino grab a drink this morning and no dishes were dirty. You let out a sigh. You’ll have to talk to her tonight. The kids came down Lynette and freminet rubbing their eyes sleepily. “Morning kids how did you sleep”

“Good until Lyney woke me up.” Lynette sat down at the table.

“He threatened to pour water on me” freminet said as he hugged your leg.

“Lyney.”

“What? I wouldn’t actually do it”

“Well I’m going to have to tell your father”

“You can’t even speak to father without stuttering”

“Lyney!” He let out little giggles. “You are a brat sometimes you know that?”

“Father says I’m a little shit”

“You are, but don’t curse. You are like 6”

“7 actually”

“Go sit down”

After breakfast you dove Lyney and Lynette to school. And spent the rest of the day with Freminet at around 3:30 you drove to pick up Lyney and Lynette the same schedule as always. But Arlecchino got home an hour late and didn’t send you a text which you couldn’t help but get a bit nervous when 6 rolled around and she wasn’t home, then 6:30 then 7:00 then 7:15 she finally got inside.

“Arlecchino you didn’t text me saying you were going to be late today. Are you ok”

“I’m fine I would have. I” she let out a sigh “I got stuck in a meeting and didn’t think it would take as long as it did. How were the kids?”

“W-well um Lyney cursed, and threatened to pour water on his brother today.”

“I’ll talk with him about that. Have you guys had dinner?”

“N-no I know how much you like spending your one meal with them.”

She turned to look at you with those pretty “x”s that always made your heart flutter. “Then stay, it’s getting late and I know you don’t live in the most safe neighborhood, being a pretty young lady you’re in the most danger at night.” You felt your face heat up, and Arlecchino’s eye brow raised. “Of course the choice is yours but the kids always get so sad when you leave”

“I-I’ll stay but I don’t have any clothes”

“You can borrow some of mine and I’ll wash your clothes tonight” you just nodded. You heard her chuckle a bit, before walking to the kitchen.

It didn’t take long before hearing Lyney ask “is she staying the night?”

“Yes now got get ready for bed you guys are going to bed after dinner” you then saw Lyney getting his siblings whispering something to them then looking at you and giggling as the walked up the stairs. You then walked to the kitchen, seeing Arlecchino grabbing some pans and ingredients. “You good with some fettuccini?”

“Yeah, that sounds good but um Lyney whispered something to his siblings and started giggling when they looked at me” you swear you saw her smirk.

“Oh don’t worry about them,” she sighed. “Maybe I should just order food it’s getting late.” She started to put stuff up “maybe I should invite you to stay the night on a day I’m not late. Or maybe on a day I’m not working.”

“Oh why?”

“Lyney told me something the last time you babysat.”

“W-what did he tell you” you saw her smirk, before leaning down to your ear.

“What do you think he told me?” You’re face heated up,

“I don’t know”

“Why don’t I show you instead?” You just nodded you felt a little dizzy. Before she leaned in and kissed you, she was a bit rough with it. You felt so small under her tongue how it easily overpowered yours, her hand wandered down to your waist, and you could feel your desire pooling between your legs. Only to be interrupted by a sea of giggles. All three kids giggling as you went red again. Arlecchino just removed her hands and straightened up. “Change of plans kids we are just going to order some food” she leaned down and whispered “you should sleep in my room tonight” you just nodded. “Good girl” that’s it she teasing you and you hated how much you liked it.

Arlecchino just ordered some pizza. And after the kids went to bed, you sat downstairs with Arlecchino for a bit her hand on your waist. “You are so shy dear, you shouldn’t be it’s not surprising that I would be attracted to you. My kids love you, you’re so sweet, and absolutely adorable.” You just kept feeling your face go more red.

“C-can we go to bed?”

“Oh? Are you that excited for me to show you how much I want you?” You simply nodded. “No, no dear I want to hear it. Say it.”

“Yes I am” god why did you love being told what to do so much

“That’s a good girl” she picked you up easily and carried you upstairs. “You should get used to being carried around after all, I’m going to make sure you can’t walk tomorrow” you buried your head into her shoulders hiding your face. “Oh you better not hide from me when we are in bed” her voice was now whispered as she walked by the kids rooms. As soon as she had you in her room. She started to kiss your neck, locking the door. “I’m going to need you to be quiet. As much as I would love to hear you moan I’m going to have to gag you. Maybe I’ll take you on vacation and get someone to watch the kids, just so I can hear you sing for me.” She provocative words were enough to make you weak.

“Fuck” your voice was breathy, needy.

“I hope you don’t use that language around my kids”

“You’re the one who calls your son a little shit”

“He is”

“I think I know who he gets it from” she grabs you by the chin, firmly.

“Be careful pretty girl, you don’t want me to have to teach you a lesson in respect.”

“Yes ma’am” she finally placed you on the floor your legs shaking as you gained your balance.

“Aww you look like a baby deer, now go lay down I’ll be back, don’t take your clothes off yet” you nodded and went to lay down waiting for her,

she returned with a gag, placing it gently in your mouth. “Look are you I’m not even done setting up and you look irresistible” the bulge in her pants as clearly visible, and you couldn’t help but reach and touch it you ran your fingers over her clothed member. Making her let out a groan. Which made you let out a laugh behind the gag.

“Oh you little tease.” She grabbed your hands and pinned them above your head. “Behave this is your last warning” with her free hand she traveled up your stomach under your shirt, you let out a little whine behind the gag.

“Patience dear or I’ll just go slower. And you wouldn’t want that would you?” You shook your head no. She was so agonizingly slow removing your clothes, but finally she removed your pants. Chucking slightly running a finger over your panties makes you let out a muffled moan. “Your so wet dear, do I really make you this horny” she reached for your bra unclasping it and throwing it out of the way, and finally she removed your panties, then she removed her belt, and used it to bind your hands.

“Gods, you are going to be the death of me,” her eyes were glazed over, hungry, lustful. She lowered her head to eye level with your pussy, she looked at your face, “may I?” You nodded eagerly, she had no hesitation her lips were wrapped around your clit, sucking and licking like a starving woman. Making you buck your hips and moan loudly though muffled, Arlecchino’s hand shot up and covered your mouth. “Keep it down” she went back allowing her tongue to slip into your slit,

“You taste so good i could do this forever,” her voice was muffled, the vibrations shooting pleasure up your whole body. You body tensed as you came all over Arlecchino’s tongue. Arlecchino lapped it up greedily. Pulling back she unzipped her pants, rushing to get her cock out. “I’m going to fuck you, and I want you to count how many times you come over my cock. Do you understand?” You nodded your cunt was drooling at the thought, Arlecchino kissed your cheek, then slowly going down your throat,

As soon as arlecchino got her cock free she pressed her cock to your drooling cunt. And pushed inside letting out a groan. “Fuck, I’m going to get addicted to this, you’re so tight” you moaned out as well you couldn’t feel arlecchino stretching you around her cock. A whimper escapes, “ even with the gag you’re so noisy,” her hips snapped into you driving her cock deep in your pussy she hit your gummy spot without even trying. You moaned out, getting your mouth covered again.

“You feel so good, I could keep fucking you forever.” She was thrusting into you with reckless abandon, you could tell she was holding back her grunts. I didn’t take long for you so cum, a creaming ring forming on her cock, you shakily lifted a finger holding up a one. “Such a good girl you’re doing such a good job taking me so well.” Even as she praised you she didn’t give you a second to recover. Continuing to pound into your sensitive cunt, making you moan out, and the gag in your mouth was making you drool, soon the numbers of fingers that you were holding up went up.

“You’re really drooling over the feeling of my cock in that pretty pussy of yours?” You nodded, Arlecchino’s movements were growing unpredictable, you could see sweat form on her brow, she was clenching her jaw. “Fuck, I’m going to cum, I’m going to make you the mother of my four child, would you like that?” You moaned out as you felt her warm seed flooding into your cunt and your womb. She stilled inside of you, her breathing heavy. “Gods, how about you move in? So I can do this more often” She removed your gag.

“I-i would love that” your voice was quiet.

“Good,” she covered your mouth again pulling out slowly then removing her hand. “Fuck you look hot as fuck with my cum leaking out of your cunt. And even hotter with your hands bound” she undid her belt freeing you hands.

“Do you plan to tie me up every time?”

“Of course, though I hope you have birth control. Because if you don’t we are going to have a very big family.” She kissed you deeply again.

[aeaean--bliss]

maybe

summary: you and Tangerine haven't spoken in almost a year. now you've been ditched, and he's picking you up.

pairing: tangerine x reader

word count: 1.9k

warnings/tags: a tense ass car ride. swearing, tension, arguing, excessive rudeness, pining

masterlist

a/n: this was not the fic i intended to write or finish or upload:))) but here it is

He’ll be up. He owes you one, anyway. And it’s not like he sleeps. 

Plus, it’s you.

You did think it would take him longer to get here, though. It’s not like he lives nearby. Hasn’t even been ten minutes since the three dots popped up on your screen, followed immediately by the “omw” that your eyes have been glued to ever since. 

You should have just walked home. Bit the bullet, and walked the hour and a half trek back to yours. But it’s getting dark, you’ve barely slept, and your ankles are already starting to ache, just from the five minute walk down the block and back again.

He doesn’t get out when he pulls up; doesn’t even roll down the window or turn his head to look in your direction. Just leans back, one hand on the wheel, one elbow resting against the car window. The chain hanging off his wrist gleams in the light of a streetlight a couple of metres away. It’s one of the only things you can focus your eyes on as you stalk towards the car.

The slam of the car door rings in the night. The car is dead silent; no radio on, no phone call over bluetooth, no nothing. It’s never been this quiet.

The engine purrs gently. It’s strange. He’s sat right next to you, but he might as well be on the other side of the world. He hasn’t even asked for your address.

“The fuck you doin’ out here?”

His voice sounds strange. Maybe it’s the silence. Makes it sound almost distorted. Maybe it’s ‘cause you haven’t heard his actual voice in months. Maybe you forgot what it sounds like. Maybe it’s the hint of concern in his voice. 

No - that can’t be right. This is the same guy who told you to “walk it off” when you got your femur shattered by some dickhead with a golf club. 

“Just some guy,” you mumble. If there was one place you didn’t want to get ditched, it was here. Your phone’s nearly dead, and you don’t really know your way back to the main road. But he can’t possibly know that. Right? All you sent him was your location.

“Boyfriend?”

“What’s it to you?”

“Jesus, darlin’, no need to bite my head off.”

Maybe you’ve come in a bit too amped. Nevermind the fact that the last time you saw him, he blew your cover to help his own; he’s come to pick you up out in the middle of nowhere at eleven p.m., no complaints, and he’s not said anything out of order yet. You’ve come to think Tan’s the type of guy you gotta judge on an encounter by encounter basis. Maybe you shouldn’t, but it makes it easier.

“Not anymore, I guess.”

He grunts - there’s no other word for it - and brings a hand up to smooth down his moustache.

“Forgive me, darlin’, but you don’t sound very upset.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not exactly flowing over with love for the guy.”

“You really know how to fuckin’ pick ‘em, don’t ya,” he mutters. You glare. 

You’d think after having known him for - what, six, seven years? - you’d be used to his bite by now. Maybe it’s just tonight. You’re in a weird mood. If he calls you sensitive, you might actually start to cry.

“Probably better off then, ain’t ya, if he’s left ya to hang about outside by yourself an’ all.”

He must have clocked that you’re a bit off tonight. It comes out as an afterthought, barely audible above the soft purr of the engine.

“What you goin’ out with a prick like that for, anyway?”

“S’not like anyone else wants me.”

Everything gets heavy, then. In your peripheral vision, you try not to notice the way his knuckles tighten around the wheel, or the way his jaw tenses just the slightest bit. He doesn’t respond. You didn’t think he would. You’re in a torturing mood. Just want to poke and prod at the wound for a bit and see what happens. Because he says you know how to pick ‘em, but won’t let you pick him. Even if you both know he wants to be picked.

After about ten minutes of ear deafening silence, he clears his throat quietly. 

“Still workin’ down the bank?”

You hum, non-committedly. You can’t tell if you’re happy or sad that he’s stopped pushing for more on this other guy. Odds are, he’d be in the papers tomorrow for all the wrong reasons. You’ve got goosebumps from the cold. They itch a bit. Maybe waiting outside wasn’t the best idea, but it’s better than hanging around inside like some loner. Maybe you were just eager to see him.

You see him less now that you’ve gone civilian. Five bullet wounds and a back injury will do that to a person. It’s been around seven months since you last had anything to do with him. Seven months since you quit. The last message from him on your phone is from nine months ago. It says, “give me back my tie.” You didn’t respond. 

More than anything, you’re tired. And bored.

You never told him you worked at a bank.

“Might get back into liquidation. Lemon says he knows a guy.”

It’s a lie. You don’t want to get back in, and Lemon wouldn’t help you even if you did. Doesn’t mean you don’t hate your life the way it is right now.

“Nah, you wouldn’t survive out there, darlin’,” he mutters, little finger flicking up to switch on the indicators. “Times have changed. Good thing like you? They’d tear ya apart, I mean, look at ya.”

You can’t tell if he means it. Can’t tell if it means something. It hurts more than you think it does. It’s also kinda backhanded, even if it is a lie.

Flecks of rain have begun to spatter the windshield, their outlines illuminated by each passing streetlight. You’re seething. The type of thing where you can literally smell it off someone. You want him to mean it. But he probably doesn’t. And even if he does, he’s not gonna do anything about it.

“D’you even know where you’re going? You don’t have an address.”

“You think I don’t know where you live? Give me some credit.”

You never gave him your address.

“I’m not going to mine.”

He frowns, then, lips twitching like he wants to say something, like he’s getting ready to speak but hasn’t decided on the words yet. You can almost hear the sound of him blinking, like a cartoon. He looks kinda funny when he’s frustrated, like a muppet with a big, bushy moustache.

The hand comes out to gesture a “what the fuck” before he even speaks, almost in slow motion, like the thought is loading.

“Well, why the fuck didn’t you say somethin’ before I-”

“You didn’t fuckin’ ask, mate,” you groan, “Literally didn’t even fuckin’ say anything until-”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know where the fuck-”

“I didn’t ask you to know, I was gonna fuckin’ tell you.”

“Takin’ your sweet fuckin’ time, ain’t ya!”

“Would you relax, it’s not like you’ve gone the wrong way, I would have-”

“You know,” he cuts in, pointing his index finger accusatorily at you, “you’re a lot easier to deal with when you shut the fuck up.”

You shove his hand away. He’s not making sense.

“Fuck you.”

Green becomes amber becomes red light, shining through the watery sheen of the windshield and hitting his skin like a coloured lens. Without the grumble of the engine, you can almost hear him breathe. It grounds you. Reminds you he’s a real human being. Sometimes he’s such a caricature that you forget. 

When he speaks next, his voice is uncharacteristically light, and void of aggression.

“Thinkin’ of gettin’ a new suit.”

It’s so dumb. It’s so. dumb. And no one cares. But it’s his attempt at normalcy, and it’s a hell of an olive branch, even if it does give you whiplash. You don’t even know what to say to that. What are you supposed to say to that? 

Go get one, then. You don’t want to pick another fight. You’ve already got steam coming out of your ears from the last one. But it’s not like he’s broke, or doesn’t know where to get one. He’s trying, he’s really trying to make conversation, so you voice - quietly - the only thought that comes to mind.

“I like your blue one. Not the… the dark blue one.”

“Not the dark blue one?”

“No, I mean, the dark blue one.”

And then, completely out of character, in a moment of absolute weakness;

“I’m going to Italy next week for a conference. Maybe you could… come with? Maybe get something…”

“Yeah, well, I ain’t got the time for that, do I.”

Shot down.

“Fine. Forget I said anything.”

He inhales deeply, like he’s either about to explode or implode. To your relief, he exhales slowly, a hand coming up to scratch at his stubble.

“Where you goin’, anyway?”

“A friend’s,” you mutter, pulling at the hems of your sleeves.

“Yeah, but where’d they live? I gotta drop you somewhere, right?”

“Just… The Square is fine.”

“No chance. Are you fuckin’ dense?”

“Jesus Christ, fine,” you huff, grabbing his phone from the cup holder so you can plug in the address. But it’s fucking locked. You don’t know why you thought it wouldn’t be. You click the power button a couple of times before shoving it into his lap. “Unlock it, then. Jesus.”

He mutters something you can’t hear, and tosses it back in your general direction. It almost ricochets off the arm rest. 

The audio assistant on google maps pipes up every thirty seconds. Other than that, it’s quiet. He’s always so unnecessarily tense. It gets to you. All you do is argue. But it’s not like you hate each other. Is it? If he did, he wouldn’t have come to pick you up. If you did, you wouldn’t have asked him.

The car slows to a halt. He lets out a long, loud sigh, and drums his fingers against the wheel. Then he stops, and turns to look at you for the first time since you got in. 

“For what it’s worth, I really am sorry, darlin’.”

“Thanks for the lift.”

You’ve dipped before he can get another word out. It smells like rain on tarmac, like sweat and humidity, like headache and sleep. Just before you slam the door shut, he leans over the passenger seat. 

“Wait, wait.”

You jerk forward and pull the door back open mid-swing. You glare. 

“What.”

“If you ever need somewhere to go, I’ve, uh… I’ve got a nice flat. Just up…”

You almost want to let yourself fall for it. Just for fun. His eyes are so serious it almost makes you laugh. You’ve never known him to be serious about anything. But you can’t stop the belittling scoff that leaves your lips before it’s too late.

You miss the way his eyes stay on you as you head up the steps and hit the buzzer. He stays parked outside for a good while after you’ve got in. 

Maybe one day he’ll get up and walk after you. 

Maybe.

© @aeaean–bliss​; please do not copy, repost or translate any of my works. 

[so-long-soldier-writes]

Never Let Me Go (pt.1)

kai parker x reader | heretic!kai | part 1/3

summary: you're getting used to the coldness in your apartment. the chill that lingers in the air, the absence of his presence. for four months you wait for him, willing for the past and cursing those who've altered your future; wishing for the way things used to be, and hoping they wouldn't be lost beyond repair. but the next time you see him, out on your doorstep, you realize you can't just pick up the pieces, you have to restart the whole puzzle.

tags: post s06e22, heartache, emotional hurt / mild comfort, angst, arguing

word count: 2k

a/n: it's been one of the worst weeks of my life, so here's a little angst. i hope to have more out soon, and aside from the other two parts of this (well, one, bc the third part is smutty), some softer things!

You sigh deeply as you climb into bed, alone, for the billionth time. Your bed used to be warm, full, and safe, and now it’s just cold. For a while, you couldn’t even stand the feeling and had to sleep on the couch, but then one month turned into four, and you had to go back to the bed at some point. 

For four months, your boyfriend was trapped in a prison world by one of your best friends. When he finally got out, he brought chaos along with him in the form of one curse and a hundred deaths. One of those, being his own. Luckily, he had drunk the blood of a vampire, which brought him back, but not quite as the same boy he used to be. 

The first night after his transformation, he returned to bed with you. By morning, he was gone. When asked what happened, he couldn’t really say. His emotions, already confusing, were even more out of place, and he couldn’t predict even his own usually sporadic actions. A taste for blood and a ringing in his ear kept him up all night, and the sight of you made him afraid. If he’d hurt you, he would never forgive himself. 

So, for the last three weeks, your bed has been empty just as it had when he was gone. Frankly, you have no idea where Kai sleeps, or if he even does. The rest of the heretics have taken to an old abandoned house on the town’s border, but you doubt he’s there. Worry keeps you awake most nights, and the only reason you fall asleep is out of pure exhaustion. You love him, but lately you feel like he loves you less. 

Tonight’s like any other in your new routine. Watch an episode and drink down a glass of wine. Or bourbon. Or even vodka, on worse days. Curl yourself into a ball when you finally do go up to bed. Cuddle into the stuffed bat that Caroline gifted you after she found out what happened after the 1903 visit. She knew it hurt you, what Bonnie did. Even if it was “for the better”, she knew it broke your heart. 

You kiss the head of the little animal, then heave a heavy sigh. Sleep could overtake you in five minutes or five hours, depending on what your body demands. After three minutes, you start counting sheep, calling on the help of more animals to guide you to REM. 

Forty-six sheep have jumped the fence when there’s suddenly a bold knock at your door. You scramble in anxiety, but then freeze in an attempt to hear better. 

Maybe you imagined it. Maybe you had finally fallen asleep. 

But then there’s another knock. 

It’s probably Damon, you think. He’s disturbed you several times in the middle of the night. He probably lost a hold of his mother and is wondering if you’ve seen her. Or it’s Caroline, seeking advice whilst forgetting the time on the clock. Or maybe it’s your upstairs neighbor, angry about you taking his usual parking spot, since he took yours the day before. 

Your head runs rampant with possibilities as you urge yourself to answer the door. Your blanket is still wrapped around your body, though you leave your bat in bed.

When you open the door, you’re stunned to see none other than Kai Parker standing there, smiling, despite pain clouding in his eyes. 

“Kai?” You ask, voice quieter than you intended.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here? It’s late.”

It’s weird to see him. Honestly, you had to run back your memory and try to think if your last conversation ended in a break-up. It hadn’t. 

“Can I come in?”

He’s been invited in; he was on the first night. Still, he asks now.

“Okay.”

You shut the door as he enters. Then, pulling the blanket closer to you, you nod to the couch. He follows, but you sit on separate ends.

“You look warm,” he says. 

You bite back a reply to say you feel the opposite. In fact, your whole apartment feels cold without him. “What brings you here?” You repeat instead. 

“I miss you.” He shrugs off his boots, but leaves the jacket on. “And I’m sorry.”

You furrow your eyebrows and he immediately sighs.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. The only time we’ve talked in weeks is at the grill, and even then, I’ve been distant.”

“Mhm. So why now? What changed?”

“I promised you I’d be the best boyfriend I could be when we started dating, and I know for a fact that I haven’t been. And things have been difficult lately, y’know, since 1903, and the wedding, and the… everything. There’s been a lot of change. A lot of adjustments.” He’s stalling and you both know it. 

“Make your point, Parker,” you say coldly.

“I was sitting at the grill, just now, watching this couple. They were both drunk off their asses and being all handsy, and the bartender kicked them out for it, and everyone in that bar knows what they’re doing right now. But on their way out, they had to pass me, and heard them both tell the other they loved them, and it made me think of you. The first time you told me you loved me. The first time I said it back, and the first time I recognized I felt it, even if I didn’t understand it. Made me think of you, and our relationship, and what I’ve seemingly abandoned, but I promise, I never wanted this to become of us.” Tears well in his eyes as he rambles. You’ve never seen him cry. “Everything I said, that night after I left, was true. I’m so scared to hurt you that I don’t even want to put you in a position where I could. And on top of that… don’t you hate me?! I ruined your life, Y/N. I ruined your best friends’ lives, I killed my whole family. Why don’t you fucking hate me?!”

“Do you want me to hate you?”

“No! I love you, and you’re the only person who has ever loved me, but I’m a fucking horrible person.”

“Everyone in this town is fucking horrible, have you seen it? People, in general, are flawed and vicious, and yet most people have at least a few to whom they stick, and love, and are loved back.”

“You’re not like that.”

“But I still have flaws.”

“Your only flaw is loving me.”

“Kai-”

“Don’t-”

“Don’t fucking interrupt me,” you snap, getting upset. “If I want to fucking love you, I will. I don’t see it as a flaw, no matter what you’ve done. I’m so pissed off at you right now, how you come here and act like loving you is a chore, when you’ve been the absent one. I haven’t slept well in five fucking months because I’ve been worried about you. I don’t care what fears you have about hurting me. If you feel that way, then let us work through it. I’d rather have at least been given the chance to help you than for you to just block me out. I do love you, and while I have to convince myself every day that you still love me, it doesn’t make me love you less. I fucking wish I could. If I could, I’d turn off my fucking humanity and not give a shit, but I can’t do that, so I sit in this apartment and rot.”

He opens his mouth, but then stops and bites his tongue. Smart. 

“I can’t take this anymore, emotionally.” You finally say. “I need you here or I need you out.”

To avoid his gaze any longer, you stand up and head to the kitchen. He watches you turn on the Keurig and retrieve a cup, but doesn’t say anything. You turn your back for two seconds to grab the creamer from the fridge, and when you turn around again, he’s there, pulling sugar from your cupboard. You jump, not used to seeing him move so fast, and for a moment, forgetting heretics could. He swallows hard, seemingly taking it as a sign you’re afraid of him. 

“Give me that,” he gestures to the carton in your hand. His tone is gentle, there’s nothing demanding about it. 

For some reason, you do. You stand there, watching, as he crafts your cup of coffee in the way he always would. He has a way in the kitchen that you’d never understand. 

He snaps his fingers, and immediately you bring him the cinnamon from your spice rack. It’s muscle memory, part of your routine. 

He then puts the cup under the stream of hot coffee as the Keurig works its own magic. Eye contact is avoided at all costs. He stares down at your marble cabinet. Your eyes are trained on his arm. 

When the coffee is done pouring, he sets it in front of you to cool. For a minute, you won’t touch it. For a minute, he can explain. 

“I still love you. And in an attempt to not hurt you, I hurt you worse than I could’ve imagined. It’s not an excuse, but 1903 did something to me. I shut down, emotionally, I think. It felt hopeless, any chance of escaping, or of seeing you again. My only company were the heretics that had been there for a century and had no idea, whatsoever, of how to escape.” He’s running out of time. You watch the steam cool off the top of your cup.

“I told them about you, and how much I loved you… because I was feeding them. I woke them all up and let them drink from me. Those scars all healed when I turned, but my arms and neck were littered with bites. God, I’m glad you didn’t see it. But I was so bored, and lonely, and wanted to know if they had any idea of how to get out. Again, they didn’t. But then, one day that we were plotting an escape, I remembered how we got Bonnie out, and realized it would be applicable to that time, considering Quetsi-what died in the days of the Greeks.”

You almost chuckle at that.

“But when I got out, I was so hellbent on revenge, that I did what I did, and I know I did everything wrong, and I should’ve just come to you, but my brain isn't… wired that way.” He hesitates to say that detail. At the end of the day, he’s still a sociopath. If revenge is on his mind, it’s the only thing on his mind. 

“And so I’m sorry about all of it. I swore I would protect you, and that included protecting you emotionally, and I’ve failed at that. I don’t want out, I want to be here, if you’ll have me back.”

You take a sip of the coffee, now cool. The flavors are perfect and warm your cold soul up just the way you’ve needed it for months. 

“I’d rather have you with me than anywhere else,” you admit.

“Every day without you has been a living hell.”

“Where have you been sleeping?”

“Sometimes with the heretics. Sometimes in the old Lockwood cellar, or just the woods. A couple times…” he stops himself.

“A couple times?”

“Outside your apartment. In the bushes. Where I could hear your heartbeat, but could keep a safe distance.”

“Kai…”

“I really hope you watched a lot of sad movies, and that they were the reason for your tears.”

You bite your lip. You both know you didn’t. 

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry.” In half a second, he’s in front of you, rubbing his thumb along your chin. 

You still don’t look at him. “Please don’t leave me again.”

“I won’t. I swear-” he stops. He swore to you last time. “I promise I won’t. I won’t leave you, ever.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Tears flood your eyes once more as you wrap your arms around his body. You bury your face in his chest, and he pulls you close. Hands find their way to your hair, massaging your head comfortingly. With time, you find your way back to the couch, coffee in hand. But despite the strength of the coffee, you’re asleep in no time. You’re finally back in the warmth and safety of his arms. 

[booboodaddysblog]

Surprise

Part two

Warnings: smut, dominant Colin, long teasing, fingering, kissing

Words: 4896

Marg woke up alone in bed. She stretched and looked at her watch, it was after ten o'clock. Frightened, she quickly sat up on the bed... and immediately knew that this was not a good idea. She felt nauseous and managed to reach the bathroom at the last minute. She knew she wouldn't like being pregnant. Although from what she once read that nausea is usually only for the first three months, after that it's fine. The worst part is that she has to endure these three months hugging the toilet.

She returned to the bedroom and saw a note on the bedside table. She took it in her hand and began to read:

"Marg,

forgive me for having to leave you alone, but I was forced to go to work. Besides, you were sleeping so sweetly, I didn't want to wake you up. It's a beautiful sight.

I would like to ask you to stay at my house today. Rest, eat well and drink lots of water. Don't worry about being absent from work. I will arrange everything. Ah... and we need to find a good doctor to manage our pregnancy. I want everything to be fine. This is a big news for me. I have a flurry of thoughts. I need to start reading about it. I hope there is a book called "Pregnancy for the resistant". And I apologize to you for my behavior at night... I was, and still am, terrified of becoming a dad. It still doesn't get to me.

Have a great day and see you tonight.

- Colin”

She read the letter several times and felt the tears roll down her cheeks. It had been a long time since she had read anything so sweet. She got emotional, plus the state she was in doubled her weepy reaction.

Suddenly she got a notification of a new message on her phone. She reached for it and saw that it was Colin.

“Hey, my love… I'm thinking, you know how we talked about getting married..., that maybe we should think about it before the baby is born. It will be less of a hassle. I'll get the money somehow. Well, it's probably a little early to think about such things, but my overthinking makes me crazy and I had to write you about it. Just so I wouldn't forget.

I hope you feel better."

She smiled softly as she read the message.

"Hey, sweetie.... I understand you completely. I'm also thinking a lot about it. We only found out a few hours ago, and there are a lot of questions in my head that I don't know the answers to. Focus on your work, even though I know it's not easy. And I beg you not to tell anyone about anything at work. We don't need gossip right now. When the time is right, we will tell them everything ourselves.

I don't feel good, I feel terrible. I need sleep, that's for sure.

Thank you for your sweet letter xoxo"

He answered really quick:

"Okay, we'll talk when I get back. I won't bother you anymore. Rest and remember to drink water, I don't want you to get dehydrated or worse faint when I'm not at home.

See you later."

“See you later, Colin”

She went to the kitchen to get water and returned to the bedroom. Sleep came very quickly.

——————-

Colin was counting down the minutes until he left work. He couldn't wait to see his beloved again. He had a good feeling that everything would be fine between them. That maybe the pregnancy would bring them closer together. He cared about Marg. He loved her and could imagine a future with her. Now not only with her. He hoped she forgave him for his betrayal. They honestly didn't talk about it at night. No... it's not worth revisiting the subject. It's just that Colin needs to keep his dick in his pants and be polite and devoted only to Marg.

- And we are planning to get married.... oh my god... everything is happening so fast - he said to himself and hid his face in his hands, sighing loudly.

He was finally able to return home. He packed his documents and drove home. As soon as he got out of the car, he felt excitement. Marg was at his house waiting for him. It had been a long time since he had felt something like this.

He crossed the threshold of the house with a smile and closed the door behind him.

- Marg? I’m home! - announced his arrival and hung his coat on the hanger.

- Oh Colin - Marg came out of the kitchen. She went up to him and hugged him tightly - I missed you and out of this longing I cooked dinner for us - she smiled broadly.

- That's great - he kissed her on the cheek - I see that you feel better.

- Yes, it's better, let's hope tomorrow is just as good. Go wash your hands, we are about to eat.

- Yes sir - he saluted her and went to the bathroom.

He smiled at his reflection in the mirror. He felt relaxed. The very proximity of Marg had that effect on him.

- Something smells really good. Is it chicken? - he walked into the kitchen. He approached Marg and embraced her from behind, kissing her neck - You also smell beautiful - he closed his eyes savoring it.

- You guessed it, it's chicken. Pass me the plates, please.

- I can see that you feel really comfortable in my house - he laughed, handing her what she asked for.

- You know, I spent almost the whole day in here. I rummaged through every cabinet and drawer - she said with a serious face.

- You're kidding... - he felt himself getting weak.

- Yes, I'm joking - she laughed out loud - geez, I scared you - she laughed even louder.

- Do you think it's funny? I wonder how you would feel in my place?

- I have nothing to hide - she shrugged her shoulders and carried the plates to the table.

- Actually... then I have nothing to hide either.

- Then why did you get so stressed? Suspicious - she laughed again - let's have dinner, I'm hungry.

They passed dinner with pleasant conversation. They really had a lot of new topics to talk about. The pregnancy, the wedding... Colin's work had now faded into the background. He himself felt good about it. He didn't like to talk about his work. It made it impossible for him to relax. Everything that happened during the day came back to him like a boomerang and crushed him to a pulp. The only thing he dreamed of at the time was going to bed. But now he felt free and light. The smile did not come off his lips.

- You know what... I think so, when I look at you now, that you will look really sexy with extra pregnancy pounds - he smiled broadly at her.

- Stop, I don't even want to think about it. I don't want to get fat.

- I think you have no control over it. It's rather natural that your body will change. Certainly for the better - he said with the smirk.

- Don't you like my body? - Marg raised an eyebrow.

- No... that's not what I meant. Your body is perfect, and it will be even better. I love your shapes, especially your breasts and buttocks.

- You are lucky, because I already wanted to be offended - she showed him her tongue.

- Oh, don't show me your tongue. It has a bad effect on me.

- Oh, really?

- Yes, my dirty thoughts are raging.

- Ah, yes... your overthinking... sometimes it's probably not so bad - she said with a smirk.

- But, back to your body. You will always be beautiful, no matter how your body changes after pregnancy.

- You're cute. You will definitely be a good dad.

Colin reached out his hand toward Marg and stroked her belly gently. He looked into her eyes.

- I can't wait to see you with baby on your arms, you're gonna be the best mom - he kissed her softly.

- I hope so - she kissed him back.

- And of course I'm gonna be the best dad, my sweet princess... I want to be here for the baby every step of the way, I wanna be here throughout the whole adventure in our way to becoming a family - he smiled at her - but... can I be honest and ask a question? Would you be offended if I'm too honest?

- Ask what you want - she kissed him again - oh I really love your lips.

- Yeah, I really like yours too, I love how they feel when they're teasing me - he chuckled softly as kissed her back - but anyway, I was wondering.... do you know that I can't wait to see you with a bigger belly? Would you mind if I was very curious about that?

- No, baby, I understand that you’re curious about pregnancy stuff. I’m so curious too. I guess my belly will be way bigger then now. Baby will grow up so need more space - she kissed him again, this time more passionate - oh my goodness, I can't take myself away from your mouth, my hormones are going crazy!

- Oh yes, the baby will grow... oh.... and yes, me too, your hormones and the way you look now.... I’m getting crazy just thinking about it, I really understand why you want more now.

- I need you so much right now, especially your lips… everywhere - she groaned.

- My lips, my hands, my arms, my... everywhere, right? - he chuckled and kissed her again, this time harder and more passionately.

- Yes, everywhere, Colin…

- Oh... now I know you're getting crazy... I think all your hormones have taken over your mind... what if I help you with that?

- How? - she sighed.

He smiled and put his arm around her waist, helping her up from the table.

- I think you'll like what I got in mind...

Colin pressed his body firmly against hers, leaned her against the wall and started kissing her again, making sure she didn't move an inch because he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.

- What else do you have for me? - she interrupted the kiss.

- Hmm... I was thinking of having some fun, just the two of us - he smiled - and I guess we'd have to make sure that the baby doesn't feel anything, what do you say?

- Our baby is the size of a bean. Don't worry, it won't feel a thing - she laughed.

He laughed as well and kissed her mouth passionately.

- Good answer... so what's your answer on my question? Would you like to have some fun?

- You know my answer - she bit her lip.

- That's what I like to hear... let's not waste anymore time then - he grabbed her hand to lead her to the bedroom and start doing what they love.

- Colin?

- Huh? Yes, sweetie?

- You don’t need to be gentle with me today.

- Oh, you think so? Would you like me to be a little rougher with you? - he smirked.

- Do whatever you want with me - she groaned.

- Now, you’re talking…

- Yes, Colin… I’m all yours.

- Now I definitely love that way you're talking today, let's get to the bedroom, I have something you'll love to see...

- What? A gift?

- Hmm, you know that I love buying you nice presents, but this one is more... intimate, for you and I to have some private fun.

- Okay then, can’t wait to see that - she was really curious.

- Oh, you'll love it, I'm sure of that... - he led her to the bedroom and opened the door.

- Let me see it. What is it?

After letting her in, he closed the door slowly and stood right in front of her.

- Close your eyes dear, and don't open them until I tell you to, can you do that for me?

- Of course.

- Good, I knew I could count on you... now, close your eyes tightly and don't peek at anything until I tell you, okay?

- I promise - she covered her eyes.

- That's the girl I know, you're such an obedient one... are you sure you want me to trust you? - he whispered teasingly in her ear and kissed her cheek.

- Yes.

Colin chuckled softly with a slight sparkle in his eyes.

- Alright then, you can keep your eyes closed, I'll tell you when to open then...

He brought his hands slowly to her eyes to check if she hasn't peeked.

- Good girl…

- Yes, but I'm a good girl just for you.

- Oh, is that so? So if I wasn't here, you'd be a very bad girl... who would you rather be submissive and obedient to rather than me?

- Submissive and obedient.... just for you - she whispered.

- Good... that's the way I like my sweet princess. Now, you can open your eyes.

He smiled gently and put his hands on her waist, wanting to see her reaction to what he had prepared.

- Oh… you are… naked - she smiled broadly.

- Yeah, and just let your eyes slowly go down and see what I've got prepared for you... - he laughed.

- Oh… I really like what I see - she bit her lip.

- I was hoping you'd like it...

He moved his fingers over her shoulder and leaned her body against the bed, then moved a little closer to her face, looking into her eyes.

- But now, my second question…

He paused for a moment as he moved his body close to hers more.

- Would you like to do more than just look?

- I’d love to… oh Colin…

- I hope so…

He chuckled softly and whispered in her ear, teasingly.

- But now, we should have a bit of fun... I think you'll like what I have in mind, you will enjoy this...

- Go on, Colin - she whispered.

Also, he began whispering in her ear, stroking her sides and caressing her body with his fingers.

- I want you to just lay back, relax and let me do all of the work... do you think you can handle that, princess?

- I'll try, but I'm sure I can handle it - she kissed him passionately.

- Good... I was kinda counting on you handling this.

He rested her completely on the bed, then lay down on top of her and began to passionately caress her body.

All she was able to do at that moment was sigh loudly.

- Let me take your clothes off.

- Yes…

He did it very slowly, teasing her.

- I love to tease you…

- Colin…

He pulled her a little closer and pressed his body against hers, beginning to kiss her neck and all over her body, going down and taking his time to enjoy every inch.

- You’re so hungry, Colin - her back arched.

- What can I say? I get really hungry sometimes... you're just too delicious to me - he chuckled.

He grabbed her thighs as his kisses went down, and then he murmured.

- Now, I think I'm gonna take my sweet time enjoying all of you, so stay still...

- It's really hard for me not to move when you give me so much pleasure, but I'll keep trying - she sighed loudly.

- I know it is, but like I said... this is all about you and me enjoying ourselves, so you'll just have to let me handle that...

As he continued caressing her body, he suddenly stopped and whispered in her ear.

- Now, I think it's time for me to take this to another level...

- Do it, Colin… - she groaned.

He smiled gently, biting his lips, became a little more serious.

- Okay, now, I want you to stay still and not move at all, I'm about to do something I think will feel very good.

- Oh, I’m sure about that - she whispered.

He pressed her body tighter to the bed, moving on top of her in such a way that their bodies were completely connected. He wanted her to be completely vulnerable.

- I’m all yours… - she wrapped her arms around his neck.

- Good, now I want you to trust my hands completely, okay?

He grabbed each of her wrists and placed them above her head, leaving her fully vulnerable.

- I trust you and your hands - she smiled at him.

- I'm glad you trust me, because I'm gonna use my hands to make you feel so much pleasure... I want you to let these hands do all the work by themselves.

- I want everything, I’m waiting - she tried to move to get more pleasure.

- No, no, no, no moving at all, you stay still, let your body take all of the pleasure I can give you, okay?

- I’m so hungry, give me that pleasure, please - she moved again under him.

- Oh my god, you're not following my instructions at all... - he grumbled at her - you want me to give you pleasure? Don't move right now, not even a bit, or I'll stop.

- I will now be a good and hungry girl. I'm not moving, I understand - she moaned.

He smirked.

- Good girl... now, I'm gonna take care of you and see if you can handle my touch.

As soon as he finished saying this, he began to put his hands all over her body, exploring every inch of her body with his palms, stroking and caressing her skin.

She moaned loudly.

His hands started to trace little circles on her body, every soft touch feels absolutely divine, he's making sure that nothing is going to distract her.

- Colin! - she moaned again.

He felt heat all over his body when he heard her moan.

- Such a good and hungry girl... are you sure you're still not trying to move?

- I’m sure, I promise to be a good girl and hungry of course - she laughed a little.

- Good... you better not be lying to me.

He continued to let his hands explore her body, starting to go higher up her legs. He did not stop teasing her.

She moaned loudly once again.

The sound of her moans filled him with anticipation, the higher he goes, the more the moans increase... He stopped right at her hips and whispered into her ear with a smirk on his face.

- Now, I think you're finally gonna like what I have to show you, right?

- I already love everything - she moans loudly again.

He bit his lips softly as he continues caressing the sides of her hips slowly and passionately, but then he stopped, because he knew she likes it when she can feel his body heat.

- Colin… don’t stop - she whispered.

- Now I think I want to make you feel something even better... I want to make you feel something absolutely spectacular.

- Give me that, Colin!

He nodded softly and leaned back slightly, his hands slowly moved down her body, reached the junction of her thighs and began to caress her there, slowly and calmly, he took his time. She was so wet there and so soft.

- I'm gonna enjoy teasing you for a while... you can give in right now and accept what I'm going to do to you, or we simply can wait a bit more... - he whispered in her ear, squeezing one of her thighs tightly.

- I give in now! oh Colin I love everything you do to me! - she moaned lightly.

- Good girl... now, you wanna know what I have for you?

- Yes! Yes!

- Okay then, how about I just do a little bit more exploring and I show you that with my hands, would you like that? - he sighed - So, I think I'll start moving my hands towards...

- Yes, Colin I want everything you have for me! Move your hands toward…

He put two fingers inside her. And began to move gently.

She moaned even louder than before.

- Oh I know what you want - he kissed her passionately.

- I’m so hungry, Colin! - she bite his lower lip.

He smirked and then whispered softly as he stroked his other hand down her body.

- Then let me feed you exactly what you're hungry for - he inserted a third finger into her, trying to push them in as deep as he could.

- Oh… I’m so hungry for you! - she screamed.

- Love this answer. I’m so hungry for you, and only you.

- Oh Colin! Faster! - she groaned.

- You know this is what I was building up to...

He began to push his fingers into her faster, massaging her pleasure button with his thumb.

- Exactly there, Colin!

- Oh, yeah?

- Yes!

His movements became more precise and faster, more rhythmic. He liked to make her squirm.

- Oh don’t stop moving your hands and kiss me. I need your lips on mine - she tried to move.

- You're trying to move, sweetie, remember what I said I'd do to you if you didn't keep still? Please don't make me stop what I'm doing to you...

- I’m sorry, but you’re making me squirm - she groaned.

- Good, you're supposed to be squirming and begging for more, don't forget that you asked for all of this... - he smiled - Do you want me to stop?

- No!

- Good girl... Now, how about I just keep these hands going the way they're going right now and they'll never stop... Do you want that?

- Oh my God, Colin! - she screamed.

He smiled and gave her a passionate long kiss.

- Oh trust me... I never will... If it was up to me, I'd keep going until I had no more energy to move - he laughed.

- I know you have enough energy to pleasure me now - she kissed him back hungrily.

He moaned and kissed her back passionately and eagerly.

- I love your hands! - she moaned into his mouth.

- I love knowing that you like my hands so much... I'm sure you'd like them more by the end.

He continued to move his fingers inside her hot insides, while massaging her breasts with his other hand. He sucked on her nipples. He was so hungry.

- Oh! This is what I want! Exactly there!

He returned to gently biting her neck and licking her.

- You’re a master in this, Colin. Don’t you dare to stop - she moaned softly.

- I swear, I won't... I'd never stop doing this to you...

He hugged his body tighter to hers, and then pulled her body closer to his, continuing to touch her there slowly and passionately, his hands never stopping.

- I’m about to…, you exactly know what! - she almost screamed.

- Oh yeah? You're already this close, huh?

- Yes! - she started to squirm, and breathe heavily, she was so close.

- Keep still, let's see if you can stop yourself... - he kissed her - you can't move at all now, okay?

- I promise not to move, but don’t stop, please - she screamed loudly.

- Then don't move and don't make a noise, okay? - he whispered to her ear.

- It’s so hard to be quiet, you’re so good to me - she moans loudly.

- It doesn't matter... keep still and quiet, okay? Or I'm gonna have to use my hands in such a way that won't let you make sounds anymore.

- Oh make me quiet, Colin. It’s so hard to make no noises - she moaned loudly.

- You sure about that? It might not be as fun as you imagine... - he began stroking her lower lip.

- Do it, please! - she bit her lip to be quite.

Once again bent over her body, his face now right in front of hers.

- You asked for it...

He pressed his hands firmly on top of her mouth and started to cover her with his body, stopping her from making any sounds, he pulled back slightly.

- I'm not gonna let you make a sound until you beg me to stop.

She nodded her head as a sign that she understood.

He pulled back a bit and give her a deep and long kiss. He laughed and stooped making out with her for a second. He was breathing heavily.

- Now, we're playing that game aren't we? So, let me hear you, how far can you go without begging me to stop? Be honest with me, okay?

Again she nodded her head to confirm.

- Good girl…

He sighs softly and let's go from her mouth.

- So, what do you think? You can take more of this?

- I’m still hungry, so yes I do - she moans softly.

- Perfect response, that's what I wanted to hear...

He moved his hands back to her mouth again, covered them to shut her up and pulled her body very close to his, his hips are all up to her body now, he's going to move just a little bit more just to get her even more hungry.

She was breathing hard through her nose, her body trembling with delight.

- Oh god, you're trembling, I can feel it through my body... and you're breathing so deeply and quickly... - he whispered.

She sighed deeply and closed her eyes, waiting for more delights.

He leaned forward a bit more, starting to move his hands all over her body again, his hips now pressed against her.

Colin heard a loud moan of delight.

- Let's see how much you can take, before I give you more of what you're craving... - he whispered to her ear.

She looked at him with wide-open eyes and nodded.

Again he began to massage her hot entrance. He pushed her rhythmically and continuously. Again he felt her trembling and squirming.

Her body trembled, she was close to fulfillment. She closed her eyes.

- Oh, you're close again, aren't you? I can tell... I know your body so well by now...

Her body arched as she reached fulfillment. She let out a loud and long sigh. She breathed hard trying to calm down after such a strong sensation.

He moved back slightly, no longer covering her mouth with his fingers, and let her breathe, watching her carefully, waiting.... waited for her to signal him that she wanted more.

Still breathing heavily, she slowly calmed down. She smiled at Colin, seeing the expression on his face.

- Don't look at me like that, so obscene, you made me tired. I don't even have the strength to move - she laughed.

He laughed softly and hugged her, his face has a satisfied look as he smiles softly at her.

- Oh, that was quite the reaction, I'd say I did my job well... do you want more or do you think you've had enough for now?

- That's enough for today. You really made me tired. But... Colin? What about your pleasure? You gave me so much joy, and all you got return was my pleasure - she smiled at him.

- Oh, trust me when I say this... It was worth it, I don't mind not getting much in return if it means that I get to give you what you enjoy the most - he kissed her softly.

- Oh, you are so sweet. I promise to make you happy soon too. You have so much stress at work, you need to relax - she stroked his head.

- I have all of the relaxation I need right here with you... It's always a good de-stresser after a long day at work... How about we just keep relaxing now? - he closed his eyes and hugged her.

- So you're tired after giving me so much pleasure? I knew it! You need rest, my lover. Let's get some sleep. But first, please get off me, you're heavy - she laughed and kissed his forehead.

- Sorry, sweetie... you're right, I do need some rest... and I can tell I'll sleep like a baby because of this...

He slowly moves away from her and lays down next to her. He closes his eyes and sighs deeply.

- I love you, Mr Zabel.

- I love you too, my dear.

[thebestof-alex]

The night

Summary : August said he loved you for the first time.

warning: Nothing to warn. It's just fluff

You couldn't fall asleep when you were lying on August's huge and cozy bed alone. Your boyfriend didn't come home yet. His last text message was three hours ago.

'I'll be home before midnight.'

This short message was all you got. But it was already 3, and still he didn't come home yet. The fact he didn't keep his word made you angry and he was at his friend's bachelor party made you even more furious.

'clink'

The small sound of your front door opening broke the silence of your empty house. You got out of bed walking toward the front door.

There he was. Your drunk boyfriend leaned against the wall as his eyes were half closed. Smell just like vodka.

"Good evening, love."

He said with his low baritone voice slightly smiling on his face.

"Someone had a great night. Have fun with boys?"

You told him standing your arms folded no smiling on your face.

"Yeah, it was. And at the club, Sapphire gave me a lap dance."

It made you hit the ceiling. He went to a strip club and said that proudly right in front of the like nothing wrong with that.

"Did you? If you liked her that much, why did you even come home, instead of being with her all night?"

You shouted with anger.

"What's with the attitude, love?"

His voice went lower and gave you that look of warning.

"What's wrong with my attitude? I don't know. My so-called boyfriend came home at 3 and talked about the girl who gave him a lap dance. What should I do? Just sit and smile like nothing wrong with that, Should I, August? How could you be so indifferent?"

You spat all your frustration.

"What the fuck are you doing? I already told I was going to Ethan's bachelor party. You know what guys are doing at the party, don't you? And you allowed me to go."

"Yes, but it didn't mean it was okay you ignored my feelings like that. You know what? Forget about it. You didn't even remember what happened."

You suddenly burst out crying, you did your best not to but it only got worse.

"Fuck......What do you want me to do? Do you want me to beg you to forgive me?"

His indifferent reaction made you far more frustrated, you started sobbing covering your face with your hands

He put his right hand on your left shoulder trying to hug you but you refused his touch.

"I'm going to sleep in the guest room. I don't want to be with you for a second."

You went into the guest room slamming the door. August still leaned against the wall looking at you going far away from him.

You were lying on your left side facing the wall thinking about what just happened and what you should do after tonight. Then, the door opened and he walked into the room. He lifted the sheet and slid his body into the bed. You closed your eyes pretending to sleep.

You felt his arm wrapped around your waist pulling you close to his warm and hard body. And his nose pressing on the back of your neck smelling your hair.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I missed you all night and the Sapphire thing was just a joke. I...I am really not good at this relationship thing. I've never loved someone like you."

He paused surprised by what he just said. And Your heart was racing too when he said the word "LOVE".

"Fuck, yeah. I love you. I love you so much."

He held you tighter saying those magical words. You instead turned around to look at him, pulled his hand toward your face, and kissed his hand gently Since you knew how much he was embarrassed.

And you could finally have a good night's sleep.

[punkpoemprose]

Virtual Chemistry Pt 10

Universe: Modern AU/ College AU/ Cam Boy AU

Rating:  E (Explicit, this is filth)

Length: 2116 Words

A/N: Forgive me for any inconsistency, it's been a hot second.

Anna awoke to the familiar sound of her phone’s alarm and rose with uncharacteristic quickness. It was just the first of the three alarms that she set for herself each morning during the semester, and she couldn’t recall having ever risen with the first one, let alone now when she didn’t need to be up for anything.

Falling asleep with your phone on your face certainly has the benefit of startling you awake.

She made a mental note to avoid the position in the future, and quickly unlocked the device with her fingerprint, just to confirm that last night’s texting had not, in fact, been a dream.

The blue and grey text bubbles that greeted her had her heart fluttering as she looked at the screen and replayed the conversation. He’d been so easy to talk to, and she’d found that having to wait a bit longer for his replies than she was used to when texting Elsa had made each message just that bit more precious. It felt silly to count the extra few seconds as “worth the wait” but it had been.

She flushed when she scrolled down past the last message she remembered sending and receiving, to find another.

Huhgtgcfrgyu

She really had fallen asleep with her phone on her face, and somehow, as it the universe didn’t think she’d had quite enough mortification, the message had sent.

Huh?

She scrolled past his response and found another ten minutes later:

I’m guessing you fell asleep? That’s alright, it’s late.

Then a few minutes after that, a series of texts sent a minute or less apart:

It’s been a long and exhausting semester honestly. I wouldn’t blame you for sleeping all week, I feel like that’s what I’m about to do.

I’m glad you were part of it. Even with everything.

Maybe we can talk about that? The everything?

When we both wake up from our hibernation of course.

Sorry, I’m rambling again.

Sleep well Anna.

She didn’t feel quite so embarrassed by the time she got to the end of his messages back to her. There was something about his messages, short as they were, that mirrored the gentleness with which he treated her in person. There was a nagging part of her that was imagining one more message after what he’d sent. She just couldn’t put out of her mind that he was the sort of man who would end his messages with “I love you”.

She tried to push the thought aside but she only succeeded in hearing his last message in her head, complete with her silly addition, in his voice.

Sleep well Anna, I love you.

It was unfair how her brain could forget the answers to exams after several hours of studying, but how she could perfectly mentally replicate the tone of his voice saying something that she’d never even heard him utter before. She could even imagine how it would sound, breathy in her ear, with her back pressed to his chest and his arms wrapped around her.

She collapsed back on the bed, knowing full well that she wouldn’t be able to put herself back to sleep, but feeling unwilling to face the day until she managed to stop blushing and thinking about how good it would feel to just be in Kristoff’s arms.

***

Kristoff allowed himself a moment to breathe, Sven not the least exhausted at his side, was looking at his owner in rapt anticipation of the next leg of their jog around town.

He’d barely slept, unable to keep himself from listening for his cellphone to chime with another message from Anna all night long, even hours after he’d sent her a goodnight. He’d just stayed up and let his imagination run wild with both the ways he wished and feared his relationship with Anna would evolve in the coming days, weeks, and months. The worst fear was that it wouldn’t go anywhere at all. He already knew her too well to let himself worry about the worst case scenario effecting his work, despite the fact that they still had plenty to talk about there, he knew that Anna was not going to tell anyone about his extracurricular activities.

It had really been his hopes keeping him awake all night. He’d forced himself into a cold morning run at 8 am because of those hopes, because of those fantasies. He’d imagined holding her in his arms and kissing her gently and slow. He’d imagined lifting her from the floor, pressing her back into a wall and swallowing her gasps and whimpers as he kissed her. He’d even thought about what it would feel like to have her small hands explore his body.

Then he’d envisioned carrying her to his bed and giving himself to her in all the ways she wanted him. His fantasy was that she’d share her fantasies with him, carefully curated from hours of watching him, and rife for exploration together.

He flushed now, and not from running, at recalling the ways he’d imagined that he would tuck her into bed at his side, pressing gentle soothing kisses into her hair to help her fall asleep. He wanted everything with Anna, and his active imagination wouldn’t allow him to come up with any situation in which he didn’t take care of Anna in every way. He wanted her for more than sex, he wanted her for life.

The frosty run was helping, but he was still thinking about running toward the park next and launching himself into the partially frozen pond to cool his head. Sven, always excellently observant for a dog, tilted his head at him with curiosity.

“Look buddy,” Kristoff said, huffing from the particularly hard run he’d just subjected them to, “I know you like her a whole lot, and that’s making this even harder because I know you deserve a mom, but we have to give her some space, okay? I kind of did this whole thing wrong I think, and we’re going to have to wait for her. She might not even want to see me again.”

He didn’t have it in him to say that she wouldn’t want to see them both again, because he was extremely aware that he was the one who had screwed up in this situation, and that his dog was, frankly, irresistible, and impossible to stay mad at.

Sven, fully knowing this about himself, huffed through his nose and lowered his head before giving Kristoff a meaningful look.

He knew what the dog was communicating.

Don’t count yourself out yet.

In his pocket, his phone chimed. 

The dog wagged his tail in response and Kristoff couldn’t help but chuckle to himself.

“If this is her, I owe you double treats when we get back.”

***

Anna typed and deleted at least five texts as she poked at her oatmeal. Elsa was taking a call in the next room over, and Anna could overhear all the details of the business transaction taking place. It was hard to think about what she wanted to say when she was listening to her sister talking shop. It was a good thing that it was a family business, or her breakfast would constitute corporate espionage.

She finally settled on setting her phone down and actually putting some food into her actual mouth. Normally the quantity of brown sugar and maple syrup she put on top of the oats would have been enjoyable, but she’d spent too long ignoring it and nearly gagged at the cool sticky gruel she’d managed to shovel into her mouth.

She couldn’t stop herself from opening her mouth and letting the mush fall back into the bowl with a very unladylike and unceremonious plop. It wasn’t the oatmeal’s fault that it had turned into a disgusting gluey abomination, but Anna still stared at it with narrowed eyes as if it were the enemy.

It’s too early for this. Or anything.

She sighed and picked up her phone again before standing up deciding that if she was awake, and if her home was currently being used as a corporate office, she may as well go out and get a halfway decent breakfast. Visions of cinnamon rolls danced in her head as she trudged toward her bedroom to don some clothes that were at least halfway appropriate for public consumption.

She decided to tear the proverbial band aid off before tossing the phone on her bed.

Good morning

Two words, zero punctuation, no room to read into anything at all, putting the ball firmly in his court so she didn’t have to text any of the things she wanted to say because they were undoubtedly too much to say now.

She slipped off her pajama yoga pants and made the difficult decision to choose her jeans over her daytime yoga pants after consulting the overly complicated smart home device that Elsa had purchased for her as a birthday gift and being informed that it was too damn cold for thin breathable fabric. Comfort, sometimes, unfortunately had a temperature component.

When her phone buzzed from its place on her unmade bed, she made herself take two whole breaths before descending on it like a woman starved.

Good morning

She grimaced. She’d never been good at tennis but she could see, very clearly, that it had been an easy serve to hit and that the proverbial ball was, once again, in her court.

“Shit.”

She took another two whole breaths before buttoning and zipping her pants and thinking long and hard about both the t-shirt she would choose to wear (whichever was on top) and whether she could text him any of the eighty things she wanted to say.

“Hi Kristoff, just wanted to say that I absolutely didn’t have a dream about you and I making out on a lab table last night because that would be super weird, haha.”

She rolled her eyes at herself and instead typed out what she knew she should say.

Sorry I fell asleep on you last night.

She couldn’t help but to wish that she had fallen asleep on him in the literal sense. She could only imagine how good that might feel. She just hoped that she didn’t mess this up badly enough that she would never get the chance to find out.

It’s okay Anna, I’m glad you got some rest.

She’d tugged her top off while she had been waiting for his response, and she forced herself to choose a shirt to put on while she thought about an answer to send back. It was easy enough to manage the first requirement, tugging on a green sweater when she remembered exactly hot cold the weather was meant to be. The second was, as the rest of the conversation had been on her side, more complicated.

What are you up to this morning?

She played it safe, because the last time she hadn’t, she’d been crushed. She knew Kristoff enough to know that he wouldn’t ever hurt her intentionally, but she’d grown up since her last assumption of a man’s feelings toward her, something that being home brought back to her mind.

She was dressed and out the front door by the time she got his answer.

Just went for a run with Sven. We’re about to get breakfast. Have you ever been to Oaken’s?

 Anna nearly snorted out loud, but the cold biting her face kept her from dawdling long enough to manage it. She didn’t run to her car sitting in the driveway, worried about any ice that wasn’t making itself evident, but she did walk briskly.

I used to think they had the biggest cinnamon rolls in the city.

She texted him quickly when she sat in the car and pulled the door shut and then, once she’d managed to click on the seat heater with chilly fingers, she sent a follow up.

You proved me wrong at that diner by campus, but they’re still my emotional support baked good.

She’d been planning on going to a closer, less delicious breakfast place, but there was really no harm in going the extra few minutes towards the city center to join him if that was where he was heading. She did find him much easier to talk to in person after all.

Did you grow up here?

Immediately after, faster than she thought that he could type, her phone buzzed again.

I think I just put two and two together with your last name. I feel like an idiot.

She tried not to laugh, but it was impossible. She suddenly felt much less embarrassed about sending him a sleep gibberish text.

[f1-disaster-bi]

norrix and martin's new mv!

Birb says I can't make Norrix a sad pairing....but after watching that mv.....so we are not going to tag her in this and hope she doesn't see it

I know the mv was a little sad and hopeful.....I just made it sad

Forgive me guys ❤️

Tw for MC Death

Martin didn't know why he wanted to look through that box today. It sat in front of him, taking up the coffee table in the same manner that Lando's absence took up his whole life these days. It was unavoidable, and confronted him in a way Martin's shaking hands didn't know if he was ready for, but still he opened it.

The first thing he found were the pictures. They were tied together with a neon yellow ribbon and that was enough to make Martin's eyes well as he pulled them into his lap. It took a few moments to undo the knots, but he got them free in the end and the first tear fell as he looked at Lando's smiling face.

Martin had taken that picture when they had gone to Bali. Lando was doing something ridiculous. His smile was carefree. Frozen in time. A picture perfect moment.

It was one of the pictures they had used for Lando's wake.

He still remembered sitting in this room, surrounded by Lando's family as they struggled to pull themselves together. All of them broken. A piece of them forever lost. Just a group of people who had loved someone so much that trying to find pictures to display to capture a life lost was enough to break them into even smaller pieces. Lando's sisters had cried into Adam's shoulder. His brother could barely look at the pictures as his wife tried to tell their daughters that uncle Lando was sleeping and they couldn't see him.

Cisca had been holding Martin's hand. She was the bravest of them all. Her voice trembling but never cracking as they picked through the still images of Lando's life as if she wasn't also losing part of her heart.

The pictures were all he had left now as he ran a thumb over Lando's face before setting them aside. It had been six months, and as much as Martin wished every night, Lando wasn't coming back. He only existed in these frozen moments and in the memories that haunted Martin's every waking hours.

As he looked at the empty kitchen, giving himself a moment to get his thoughts together, he could almost see Lando standing there. He could almost see him laughing, dancing around in his underwear and an oversized hoodie to some song he had on repeat that week.

It was moments like those that made this so much harder.

Lando was everywhere and nowhere all at once, and it made him feel insane. He could see him so clearly he could almost touch him but he wasn't there. It was a memory. A ghost of the man he loved who was never going to dance around the kitchen again like he had that morning, or laugh in Martin's ear so loudly that it made Martin cringe.

He was never going to be real enough to hold Martin's hand or hear the three words Martin whispered every night to the empty side of the bed.

Yet despite these memories, Martin couldn't leave this home they had bought together because he wanted to still be whereever Lando was, even if all that was left was the ghost of him.

Martin wiped the tear from his cheek with a loud sigh, and reached back into the box. He hugged the hoodie close to his chest, inhaling Lando's lingering scent as if he didn't spray a little of his remaining cologne on his side of the bed every few days. He pulled out the bracelet he had given him for his last birthday. The ring he had never gotten to give Lando sat in it's navy box, just as pristine as the day he bought it. More pictures, and letters, and little trinkets greeted him until he found a long forgotten notebook right at the bottom.

He ran his finger over Lando's name. It was written in his ridiculous handwriting inside the cover. He traced the letters tenderly before he flicked through it. It was mostly filled with random scribbles or notes from some meeting he was at. Some of it was grocery lists, or random present ideas.

On one page all Lando had written was Martin's name and a little smiley face that made Martin chuckle.

The last page was the one Martin remembered the most.

It was a To Do list they had made together. It was filled with things they wanted to do or see, experiences they wanted to have. Everything from moving in together to movie dates to a pinic in the park. Some of them were checked off, and Martin touched those, remembering each of them and how Lando had looked checking it off their lists, but it broke his heart once more to run out of check boxes and see the number of things they'd never get to do together.

"You could still do them", part of his brain whispered, and it sounded a little like Lando. So much so that it almost felt as if he were there, hand on Martin's shoulder and whispering in his ear, but he wasn't.

Yet as he looked at them, Martin couldn't help but think that maybe he should. Maybe he should stop lying in bed till midday and leaving the cleaning until he had run out of useable dishes or wearable clothes. Maybe he should stop wallowing with the ghost of Lando, and go out and live with the memories.

Maybe this could be closure, or he could feel closer to Lando this way, by completing the things that he couldn't.

There was only one thing on the list that he couldn't do. Only one impossible thing, but Martin didn't care about that. He'd figure it out somehow as he thought about if and how to do this.

After all, he did have the engagement ring.

Maybe burrying it in the spot Lando wanted to be proposed to would be close enough.

[to-each-based-on-need]

I went to my first good meeting yesterday. It was non religious and mostly a share group about people facing adversity and having the strength and tools necessary to get through it with grace and gratitude. it was the first time I felt hope in a few days.

I did my relaxing bedtime routine. I actually wrote for the first time in forever. Years. I fell asleep reading. I got three and a half hours of sleep, which is the most I’ve gotten in a clip all week.

I woke up and cannot stop crying for missing him. I want to get better and I will get better because it is the only option where I survive. I just hate myself for squandering this opportunity. I moved back home at the beginning of 2020 because I was too depressed and addicted to function. It helped for a little, and getting away from the people that triggered me emotionally and triggered me to drink was helpful, for a time. I guess that part has always been helpful. The problem is I didn’t find new community. I thoughtI could do it alone. What hubris! There were lots of challenges I faced, and I didn’t have the tools to face them alone. I was living in my childhood home with my formerly abusive and deeply unwell alcoholic mom. I felt like I was fifteen again, except I was in my late twenties without the benefits of naturally-occurring community or hope. I had been taking such poor care of myself that at first, just not drinking every day was a huge accomplishment. But jesus, was it hard. I lived in that house for four years. I had a whole year sober, and worked on my mental health, but I still didn’t have any community I have never been good at making friends; I’m private and secretive and flirtatious. I has a few pleasant acquaintances through work, I still have them, but they have their own lives. I was so deeply depressed for so long that I foolishly pinned my hopes on moving out fixing everything. Then TJ and I got close and moved in together. He had seen me drunk once before and it was ugly. He told me if I ever drank again, he would leave. He is a person of principle. We moved in, and it has been so comparatively peaceful. It would have been a great opportunity to heal. It also brought up all my feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. I got homesick for parts of my life where I had people around I felt understood me. I missed old friends and lovers terribly. I resented him for making an ultimatum that made me feel like I couldn’t ask him for help. I realize now that feeling was something I could have explained more. Instead, I drank in secret and lied about it. At first, it was only a little. Then more frequent but not in insane amounts (probably insane to normal people, but I have no concept of what normal drinking is). Last weekend, I binged. There are a thousand reasons why: I wanted to celebrate feeling safe (WHYAREYOUDUMB); I was happy; I wanted to feel unrestricted; I was sad; I wanted to be able to relax; I wanted the confidence to reach out to the people I missed so much. That is such a shitty part. Sunday he confronted me and told me he knew I’d been drinking. I do not remember the rest well, but I remember telling him I had hid it because his ultimatum had made me feel I couldn’t talk to him. I remember trying to turn my shame into anger. Then I woke up and we weren’t talking. I went to stay at my mom’s. He told me he could eventually forgive me but couldn’t trust me and couldn’t be in a relationship with a person he couldn’t trust. And he’s right. I have been in panic mode since 2018. I have so much untreated trauma. I try, but I don’t have a lot of support and I kept not putting myself first.

The meeting last night made me feel good. Talking to people close who care has helped tremendously. But I’m still geographically alone. I don’t have anyone nearby I can cry to or be held by. I’m going to keep going to meetings until the miracle happens. But jesus. I let him become the one good part of my life. And then I threw it away. I want to beg him to give me another chance. I offered to go to couple’s therapy with him but he said he couldn’t think about that right now. I can hear him snoring in the next room and it is going to be the thing that helps me fall back to sleep. I genuinely feel like I can recover. I do not want to be without him. He is kind and this life we started building is so beautiful. I need to make him trust me again. I am hoping that showing up every day being a better person and offering him constant honesty and patience will help. Right now he doesn’t want to talk to me. How badly I want to go fall asleep in his bed right now. I will not, though. Boundaries. Jesus, when did I become so pitiful and codependent.

I also need so much therapy for codependency. I need to be up in two hours for a meeting because it will help. I am doing all I can to fall back to sleep. I just need a little bit of hope for a better life to get me through right now.

[gachawolfiebloom]

Your Pursuit of Perfection

Story and Artwork By: @GachaWolfieBloom

Chapter 3: Nightmares Come True

Summary: A few months after the events of WOTFI 2023, SMG4 starts having really bad dreams about the "Its gotta be perfect" incident. One night however, his fear allows the nightmares to break through and he gets taken to a horrific dimension. He finally meets the tv adware, who manipulates him into returning to his insane ways, intent on claiming much more than the perfect video. Now it's up to his friends to stop this madness and save SMG4. Can they do it in time or will they lose SMG4 forever? (In case you are unaware this is a sequel to the its gotta be perfect movie)

Tags: angst, its gotta be perfect, love confession, luigi, mario, meggy, melony, nightmares, scary, smg3, smg4, smg34, smg3 x smg4, tari, tv adware

After a crazy night, everyone had gotten into their sleeping bags to rest. A few hours had passed to which the only thing heard was Mario's loud snoring. The peacefulness of the cool night was soon to be gone as a dark fog started to slip through a window of the castle. It seemed awfully like the same fog that Four was running from in his dream last night. It circled around the friends and was heading straight towards Four. Slowly, it started infecting his mind with another nightmare. This wasn't any old nightmare though, it was Four's worst fear.

Four was sleeping, thinking about the regret of his actions from earlier until something felt different. He woke up to find that everyone was gone. Rushing outside quickly, he found his friends were talking and enjoying each other's company. Four breathed a sigh of relief and went up to talk to them. "Hey guys! Sorry about what happened last night. I just wasn't feeling like myself." They turned around, but when they saw him their faces weren't the usual cheerful ones he usually got. Instead they slipped into anger and annoyance.

"What do you want Four?" Meggy said with a stern tone. His uneasiness returned as he started to stutter. "I-I-I just w-wanted t-to a-a-apologize..." Three just scoffed while Mario pointed a finger into Four's face. "Mario doesn't want to hear your apology traitor!"

"What!?" Three stopped giving the silent treatment as he exploded in a fit of rage. "DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'RE INNOCENT! YOU ALMOST KILLED US OVER YOUR STUPID VIDEO!! NOW WE'RE JUST SUPPOSED TO FORGIVE YOU!!!" Four was shaking violently as he backed up. "B-b-but..." What had happened? They were all getting along so well. "I thought you said you would always be there for me..." Four whispered in his sleep with an uneasy expression on his face. Back in his nightmare, the fog started engulfing his surroundings as his friends started walking closer to him.

"We don't want anything  to do with you Smg4!" Mario shouted. "And we never want to see you again!" Meggy yelled as she kicked him to the ground while Tari replied "Yeah. Leave us alone!" Saiko beat him up with his hammer and Bob joined in. "You betrayed us Smg4!"

"Threw us away like garbage bro!" Boopkins was even enraged. "I hate you Smg4!" Melony took out her sword and slashed him hard in the chest. "You deserve that!" As Four was struggling to get up, he noticed Three standing over him. "I'm taking over your channel again and we're kicking you out of the group!" Four was speechless as his friends walked away. "I though you said we were friends!" he called out and Three stopped. "You really though I was serious?" They all started laughing as the fog got heavier. It felt like his heart had been ripped out and shattered into a million pieces. "NO WAIT! STOP! I CAN FIX THIS!! PLEASE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME!!!" He collapsed onto the ground and starting sobbing. He was alone now. "Please don't forget about me..." Four whispered as the darkness surrounded him.

Three was sleeping, clinging onto Eggdog while Beeg slept by his feet. A whooshing sound could be heard, but Three tried to ignore it. Then the sound got louder and louder. Finally he gave in, rubbing his eyes. "What is all that..." He gasped as there was a thick black fog, covering the room around him and seeming to latch onto..."FOUR!" His sudden outburst of concern woke the others up. "What's happening?" They all immediately noticed the fog as well. It had wrapped itself around Four's arms and legs. He woke up in terror and started screaming.Suddenly, he noticed that he was floating as the fog was taking him somewhere. "HELP ME!!!" Mario sprinted out of his bag."SMG4! Don't worry, Mario will save you!" He started punching and kicking the fog. "Take that you filthy air!" His tactic proved a failure as his attacks just went through the mist.

With nobody else to stop it, the fog took Four out the door of his castle and deep into the forest by the Showgrounds. "That worked so much better in Mario's head..." They all started sprinting out of the castle as Meggy called out "No time to worry about that now Mario! We have to stop that thing before it takes Four!" Mario quickly followed Meggy and the others as they dashed through the forest. There was nothing but trees around them, but Three wasn't going to give up that easily. He called out "Four! Where are you!?" in hopes of a response to answer him.

In the distance a yell could be heard. "Let me go!" That voice had to be Four's. With no time to think, Three ran into the direction of the sound as fast as he could. He saw Four in the distance, covered in smoke. "Hang on Four!" Just when he was starting to catch up, the fog swooped down and knocked Three down. Three warded the attacks off by pulling out a bomb and throwing it to create a distraction. Four noticed him and stuck his hand out. "Three! Help me please!" Back to running again as Three held out his hand to grab onto Four's.

"Almost there!" He was so close as they were only a few inches away from each other, but just when Three was about to take hold of Four's, he and the fog suddenly...disappeared? "WHAT!?" Three called out. He was now standing in the forest completely by himself. No they couldn't be gone. He had to be somewhere around here right? He ran around calling out for his partner and friend.

"Four?"

"Smg4 please answer!"

"FOR GOD'S SAKE FOUR! ANSWER ME!!!"

Nothing. Not one response. He had let that weird fog get away. He stood there in the dark, completely silent. Just then his friends had caught up with him. "Three! There you are! Where's Four?" Three didn't move as he said "They got away..." They were all shocked. Three's fists started to shake as he clenched them and his expression changed rapidly. A seething anger rose in him. "That bastard...I'M GOING TO KILL THAT BASTARD!!!"

Welcome back Smg4...

Chapter 4: A New Challenger

[release-the-mccracken]

Berquinn Playlist

Bert: Quinn ended up giving me a ride up to my parents' house. It was a beautiful night. I remember the moon was out and there was something different about this person that I'd met and I knew that we were going to write beautifully together.

I take your hand, lead you out to the street. To tell you that your golden hair and pale blue eyelids make me feel like I might go wild. Cheetah print makes me a liar. So I tell you I just like you for your smile.

Every time we lie awake, after every hit we take. Every feeling that I get, but I haven't missed you yet. Only when I stop to think about it, I hate everything about you. Why do I love you?

I promise it will be the last time, that I do all the things that I said that I wouldn't do last night. Then I lose my shit and I slam the door. And I ask myself, "what'd I do that for?" I wanna cause a scene just to feel alive. Maybe I'm only mean 'cause I know you're mine.

You got so down I couldn't get high. You make it harder and harder for me to know who I am, so this time I gotta hear it if you give a goddamn. Your violence feels like kisses to me. Your silence makes it harder to breathe.

You promise me Heaven, then put me through hell. Chains of love got a hold on me. When passion's a prison, you can't break free. Oh, you're a loaded gun.

Got a girl with California eyes and I thought that she could really be the one this time. But I never got the chance to make her mine because she fell in love with little thin white lines.

I'm afraid of all I am, my mind feels like a foreign land. I've spent all of the love I saved. We were always a losing game. Small town boy in a big arcade, I got addicted to a losing game.

Come to me in the night hours. I will wait for you and I can't sleep 'cause thoughts devour. Thoughts of you consume. I can't help but love you, even though I try not to.

The past few months were pretty rough, a couple times wished we both were dead. I never cried like that before. I thought my eyes would pop out of my head. Not just preparing for nightmares, but nothing feels alright now. The length of my hair or the fit of my clothes. And crying like a baby solved nothing.

This is the last time you say, after the last line you break. You say it helps you write your rhymes, whatever helps you sleep at night. You say that you love me. You won't remember in the morning. I'm not gonna stay and watch you circle the drain.

And I ain't seen a light of day since, well, that's not important. It's been long. And I was feeling Whitney, me and my homies sip Houston. Cars and clothes, thought I was winning. You knew I was losing. You told me to wake up, but my clock always stays on snooze.

And I can't see you here, wondering where am I. It sort of feels like I'm running out of time. I haven't found all I was hoping to find. You said you gotta be up in the morning, gonna have an early night. And you're starting to bore me, baby. Why'd you only call me when you're high?

You missed a lesson on looking out for yourself, may not be on the up and up, but I'm on the up and out. So take me to the far side of the beach before it falls into the ocean, before you notice I'm eroding.

Can't walk into my closet without seeing your face. 'Cause all my favorite t-shirts are all your favorite band names. You put me in a Heart-Shaped Box, now you only ever call me when you're high. You know you ruined Nevermind. Now, every song's about you in my mind. But the worst thing that you ever did? You ruined Nirvana. And I can't forgive you for that.

I ain't seen the sunshine in three damn days. Been fueling up on cocaine and whisky. I wish I had a good girl to miss me. Lord, I wonder if I'll ever change my ways. Since you've been gone, my world's been dark and grey. You reminded me of brighter days. I hoped you were coming home to stay.

Never made the wind blow, never made a heart grow. Never made a dove take flight. Never made the sun rise, still can't get my heart right. Only ever made mistakes. So I can see the sunshine, breaking through the skyline. I can feel the warmth it brings, I can't help but stop and think.

Quinn: We made a tape and I remember driving around day and night listening to that tape. And just driving up into the mountains.