#I obsessed over it for so long before posting

[bunni-v1]

May we get some crk thoughts, my liege? I too have a hyperfixation—

Shadow Milk Cookie Headcannons (SFW & NSFW)

🍓Thank you for the excuse to write this shit, I feel less insane being asked to do it lol. I still think this might taint my public image, so lets hope none of my future employers fuck with tumblr. Anyway only smc since he's who I'm obsessing over. I was gonna add pv, but I write wayyyy too much to include both of them on one post. Maybe I'll do him if someone asks nicely. I'll have a mix of both sfw and nsfw so beware lol.

MDNI (I'll find u)

TW: Shadow Milk Cookie; Obsessive behaviors; Stalking mentioned; Nsfw under the cut; unedited

Info: Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader; Sfw & Nsfw headcannons

Credit for Beast Bite Idea: @rollingeevee (go give them love I adore this AU)

-To start I'm gonna say, he's insane, like genuinely. He leans into a lot of yandere-esque behaviors, but I firmly believe he's not a full-on yandere, just really fucked up in the head (trauma and such, poor thing, wah wah wah.)

-Pre-Corruption Shadow Milk surely had a lot of admirers, but admiration is very different from genuine love and connection. He was, in a very literal sense, on a different level than all the cookies on earthbread. He's immortal, a god meant to care for all cookies, romantic relationships with cookies (other than the other heroes) just aren't an option in his mind. (For the sake of these, none of the beasts have had any romantic interaction with him, because I don't wanna deal with that can of worms rn.)

-All that to say, it's highly unlikely he has much experience in relationships. Maybe he's had flings, and some sexual encounters, but I doubt he would commit to someone he would inevitably lose to time. And, sure, he certainly could artificially extend their lifetime... but that's unethical and unfair to his partner. The burden of immortality is not one a regular cookie is baked to bear.

-So when he is inevitably corrupted and sealed away, romance isn't really a thought on his mind. He's very fixated on escaping that stupid tree and enacting his revenge. Which he does, at least in part, and with his freedom comes half of his powers and ensuing chaos.

-There are not many ways he could meet you if I'm quite honest, so I'll leave that up to personal interpretation. However you do meet him, though, you have to be intriguing. He gets bored of people easily, so you have to stand out -- be that in your demeanor or the way you speak or how you challenge him, it just has to be interesting. Once he's interested he's hooked.

-He's rather... mmm... obsessive? He likely stalks you for a while before he makes any moves. He wants to learn your patterns, the cookies you surround yourself with, the things you like, your job, your favorite foods, what flowers you like, and how do you feel about his chaos? He'll even manipulate things around you, just to see how you might react. (Is it fucked up? Yeah, lol! But isn't it equally endearing? He seems to think so.)

-You have frequent reoccurring dreams about him in this period of time. You've only seen him from a distance at this point, but you can't quite shake him from your thoughts. What's very important here is that you realize that your thoughts are not your own. Acknowledge that he's watching, and make sure that he's aware you're aware. Be that by purposefully doing something he could recognize as acknowledgment, or outright saying that you're aware he's messing with you. He values curiosity and intelligence in a person, if you can break yourself out of his cycle he's 100% sold on you.

-It doesn't take much longer after that for him to make his first official appearance. Bowing gracefully in front of you as he materializes from thin air, smiling like a man driven mad by infatuation.

-Believe it or not, he's really not all that creepy or pushy. He's very playful and charming, and while you have the knowledge he'd been watching you for a long time at this point, it's hard not to fall for him. He flirts with an ease that no other cookie really has, and he's so very funny never failing to get a smile out of you at his jokes.

-Now, this may go against what others characterize him as a lot, but I don't believe he's the type to steal you away and lock you up. Shadow Milk is a cookie who wants to be wanted, he doesn't want his feelings to be entirely one-sided, it would really hurt him to pour himself into someone who does not want to reciprocate his passions.

-He's unbelievably patient with you. Despite what the mental manipulation from earlier implies, he allows you to set the pace and make the moves, mostly nudging you gently in the direction he wants you to go now that he has your attention. Again, he wants you to choose him. He wants you to love him, so he will happily wait as long as it takes for you to realize and accept your longing for him.

-He gives you the flowers you like, and listens to you talk about your exceedingly boring days (with rapt attention, of course, he loves listening to you talk as much as he loves talking). If you ask, he'll take you anywhere you'd like to go on earthbread with a snap of his fingers, showing you sights you'd only dreamed of seeing. (Whether or not these are illusions are still up for debate).

-It's very hard not to fall for him with all this considered, and he knows that of course. He was just waiting for you to confess, and you have to confess. He won't do it even if you make it clear you want him to. It's not something he'd ever admit to you -- or himself -- but he doesn't want to risk even the slightest bit of rejection. It would break him more than he's already been broken, so you'll have to do it for our poor little jester.

-When you do though? Oh, he's over the moon! Practically swooning as he scoops you up and spins you around in celebration. He's so overjoyed. He is wanted, there is someone in this world who loves him genuinely. There's no false platitudes or any worshipping done, just raw affection between the two of you. (Just the tiniest bit of manipulation at the start, but obviously you've dismissed and forgiven that at this point).

-Again, he doesn't immediately take you away from your life if you don't wish to be. He does heavily encourage you to come spend your days with him, though. He can take care of you, he's literally a god, you'll never ever want for anything so long as he can control it (which he can, duh).

-I feel it very important to emphasize that in a relationship with him, you are equal. Even if you literally cannot be equal in stature and power, you are equal in the relationship -- if anything you have more sway over him than he does over you. He's very, very in love with you, and he will do just about anything you ask of him so long as it doesn't interfere with obtaining his souljam.

-Having established that, let's get to the fun stuff.

-Shadow Milk Cookie is very physically and verbally affectionate. If you are around him it's likely he's touching you in some way. Whether that's him literally hanging off you like a baby monkey or just a hand on your arm, he likes to have a physical tether to you.

-Plenty of messy wet kisses all over your cute little face, he loves seeing you get all flustered and feeling your dough burn up from his barrage of affections.

-It's also very common for him to carry you around in various different styles. Over the shoulder, piggback, princess style, like a sack of potatoes... doesn't really matter. It's also a regular occurrence that you fall asleep as he floats around the spire of all knowledge. He doesn't need sleep, and he does not sleep often, but he likes holding you while you do so. It's proof of your trust in him, and he usually uses the time you are sleeping to be more genuinely affectionate. Soft words whispered in your ears bringing you sweet dreams as he runs his hands up and down your back, kissing the crown of your head with such love it would make a grown man blush.

-He calls you cute little nicknames, like shortcake or sweet thing. The most common, and his favorites, are doll/dolly and little star. (Little star is something he hums with such affection it makes you weak in the knees. You know he's feeling more adoring when he uses it.) Talks about how cute you are, how pretty you are, how desirable you are. How any cookie would be so lucky to have you -- too bad they could never compete with him!

-That being said, most of his affections are pretty surface-level stuff at the start of the relationship. At least, what you get to see. He has a hard time opening up to others, he's a very sensitive cookie deep down in his dough. It takes quite a while to get him out of his shell and start showing you who he is as himself.

-Who he is, is a very aching cookie. He lost so much, struggled with his own corruption, and still hasn't fully accepted it himself. He feels as though he has been betrayed and discarded by everything he once loved, it's no wonder he has a hard time showing you such ugly sides of himself.

-You warm him up, melt him slowly, and you get to see peaks of genuine love and adoration behind those heterochromatic eyes. He may never allow you to see all of him at once, but you do get to know him. If you continue to love him despite seeing the uglier side of things, there is a distinct shift in the way he showers you in affection.

-Initially, he's very showy with everything, his love is a spectacle for the two of you to watch. It's almost like he's put himself outside of the relationship rather than in it. After he opens up, it's quieter, more intimate. He's more involved in it, like it's less about showing you how much he loves you, and more about sharing that mutual feeling between the two of you.

-You didn't have much room to show him how much you cared for him, but now you do. He allows you to initiate physical affection and doesn't flinch away at the touch. He accepts your words of admiration for what they are, not questioning your intentions for any reason.

-Kisses are softer, more full of emotion. Less like he's drowning you and more like he's trying to swallow you up. Desperation to have you as close to him as possible can take him over quite frequently during make-out sessions, and they leave you breathless and fuzzy rather than burning and flustered.

-Now, you can't write Shadow Milk without acknowledging how fucking jealous he is all the time. Now, I believe it's less of a jealousy thing (though, that really is something that is frequent), and more of a possessive/protective thing.

-He doesn't get jealous of the average cookie, alright, not unless you show interest for whatever reason. They're not really a threat to him, and why would they be? He's secure enough to know that you wouldn't leave him for some random half-baked simpleton. HOWEVER, he DOES get jealous of the other beasts and especially Pure Vanilla Cookie.

-The other beasts aren't as powerful as him, but they're still powerful and cunning (some of them at least). Truly, on a level of divinity and ability to care for you, they are his closest competition. Even still, he only gets jealous if one of them seems to want to stake a claim on you, or you become too fascinated with one of them.

-If neither is the case, he highly encourages you to form relationships with them. They are cookies that, seemingly, he cares for. While they can be difficult to get along with, if you are someone Shadow Milk deems worth his time, you are someone they will also deem worth their time.

-Ah, I should also mention he gets... pouty about Black Sapphire and Candy Apple. He doesn't see either of them as a threat, so I couldn't say he's jealous... he just gets annoyed when you're being attentive to them when he's around. Black Sapphire is smart enough to set hard boundaries with you to start, for both of your sakes, but your relationship with him is very positive. You are Shadow Milk Cookies partner, after all, you're a very important Cookie and Black Sapphire has no reason to be unkind to you.

-Candy Apple Cookie on the other hand is the one who's jealous here. You find her positively adorable and her little crush on Shadow Milk is nothing but endearing in your eyes, but she very much is huffy about your relationship with him. Of course, she can't do anything to you, that would only turn against her in the end so she just pouts. You can win her over slowly, though, just by being sweet to her and comforting her when Shadow Milk rejects her once again.

-Your relationship with them seemingly pleases Shadow Milk, though you can't really tell if he's happy or not. Sometimes he seems pleased, other times he's pouty, so who really knows other than him.

-However, the cookie that really seriously gets under his skin the most is Pure Vanilla. He does everything in his power to keep the two of you as far away from one another as possible, but it's almost inevitable that you meet PV, especially when he becomes Truthless Recluse.

-Pure Vanilla is everything Shadow Milk is not. Kind, gentle, patient, soft-spoken, and of course truthful. He's very afraid you may meet PV and realize that you do not want to be with him anymore. You would rather have someone like Pure Vanilla Cookie to dote on you in a fashion that he cannot bring himself to do openly yet.

-Of course, you don't, but that doesn't stop the fear from seeping into his dough. The only way to ease him is by being patient and displaying your loyalty through and through. He won't really be calm until Pure Vanilla is take care of, but you can assure him that you won't be leaving him for his other half anytime soon.

-Circling back to his possessive and protective tendencies, Shadow Milk does see you as an object of his affection. He is fully aware you are your own cookie, you are not something he ever wishes to control entirely and remove autonomy from, but you are his. His to keep and love and protect.

-He's very obsessive about your well-being and happiness. If something hurts you (alive or not), it's gone, destroyed. He won't even make a show of it, it just disappears. If you are upset, he is there doing everything to make you feel better. Whatever you want, whatever you need! He's here for you, please rely on him (he needs you to rely on him).

-If you are out and about he keeps an eye on you, which you are aware of. It's rather obvious, so even if he doesn't tell you, you can feel him watching you. Ignoring it becomes easier with time, but if anything happens to you he wastes no time in popping up and taking care of whatever happens.

-This leads into my next headcanon (inspired by the ever-talented @rollingeevee go check them out!), he has a bite of sorts that he uses as a means of monitoring you. It's something he uses to pinpoint where you are at all times, even when he's not monitoring you actively. The bite acts as a connection between you and him, emotionally and physically tying the two of you together.

-You can feel what he feels through the bite, anger, sadness, joy, pretty much anything he feels you can feel. It also acts as a reminder to you that you should not stray too far from where he is, sending an uncomfortably heavy feeling through your dough. (This is a manifestation of his worry, and it only really happens when he notices you've gone somewhere a little too far from the safety of the spire).

-However, this goes both ways. He can also feel what you feel at the same intensity that you feel it. You can, likely less so, also tell where he is. There is a pull in the back of your mind from the magic telling you where to find him at all times, and it only lets go when you are in proximity of him. If you miss him, he feels the same heavy feeling in his dough reminding him that you would like him by your side.

-Now, finally, we have to address the topic of mortality. Shadow Milk is likely more aware than you ever will be of how mortal you really are. This is why he's so very protective and possessive of you, he doesn't want to lose you prematurely.

-However, if you are okay with it, he is completely fine with artificially extending your life span. In fact, he does it happily. He might even start doing it without asking if the topic hasn't been broached in a certain amount of time. He wants to spend as long as you'll allow him by your side, and if that means breaking a few rules of magic and cookie society then so be it. He's a god after all, he doesn't have to answer to anyone (other than the witches).

-Anyway, let's get to the shit you freaks are really here for. (Me, I'm freaks.)

-I don't really think sexual intimacy is something Shadow Milk desires all that much, but he more so likes it because it's... interesting? I'm sure he derives physical pleasure from sexual intercourse, but less so than the average cookie might. Most of his enjoyment comes from seeing you enjoy yourself.

-It goes without saying, but Shadow Milk Cookie is a freak. He's into pretty much anything under the sun (except maybe one thing...), and so long as you're down to try something he's happy to oblige you.

-He is a switch, but he leans dom most of the time, and you won't get him to sub early on in your relationship. That requires a bit too much trust for him, so he'll need time to be cool with giving you that kind of control over him. But he will bottom for you as your relationship progresses, and that's a whole different side to him.

-Lets start with him in a dominant role, though, since it's more common to get from him.

-Obviously, he's a tease, through and through. He loves to watch you squirm and react to the things he does. Tantalizingly light touches drawn over your dough, teeth grazing your soft body almost piercing but never quite getting deep enough, heated breath blown over your most sensitive spots but never relieving you with his mouth as you so desperately need.

-Truthfully he could spend another thousand years just tracing over you, committing each inch to memory until he's satisfied in knowing every inch of you. Unfortunately, (or fortunately), he's not nearly as patient in the bedroom as he is outside of it. Not with all of you on display for him, so trusting and open, ready for him to defile you. Oh, his sweet, sweet little dolly~

-Even with his impatience, his teasing does not stop. His hands continue to ghost over you, making sure you're still squirming even as he succumbs to his need to taste you.

-Oh, and tastes you he does. He doesn't have to subscribe to regular cookie physical limitations, so he somehow manages to swallow you whole. Jaw unhinging so he can get as much as he needs from you, tongue splitting itself to give you attention everywhere, and god is it long and dexterous. He can reach so very deep and it moves with such precision, it makes you cum embarrassingly fast.

-That is if he allows you to cum in the first place. He's a big fan of edging, which shouldn't be a surprise. He likes to get you so close, then deny you of your pleasure. Your whining and grumbling is the cutest thing on all of earthbread, don't you know? He can't help but edge you when you're so damn cute every time.

-Your pleasure is in his hands, and it requires such relinquishing of power and trust. In a weird way it makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside, especially when you thank him over and over once he finally allows you to come undone after hours of teasing.

-Speaking of, he is a big fan of being praised for the work he does on you. Your moans and pleas are reward enough, but if you mumble out about how good you feel, how much you love him, how amazing he is he'll become drunk on your praise. Chasing after it with fervor, meaning he's going down on you with so much more excitement somehow.

-He's into blood (jam?) play. He likes leaving physical reminders of your relationship all over your body (yes, even ur vag/dick if you let him). With how sharp his teeth are, it's impossible for you not to bleed when he does so, and he does really like the sight of your jam. It's so pretty and so different from his own, another reminder of how different you are, and how much you trust him. (He'll lick it up and purr at the taste.)

-Bruises are also littered about your dough, his grip on you is tight, like you might slip away from him. The treatment is rough and harsh, but it feels so nice to be manhandled by him. The bruises are just nice little reminders of who you belong to. (He gets all proud when other cookies worry about them, like he's done something worthy of praise).

-He likes watching, he's very much a voyeur. Occasionally requests that you pleasure yourself for him so he can watch you struggle to get off, and he'll only help you out when you're near tears begging him.

-He prefers coming across you by himself, without having to request it. Or just feeling waves of pleasure through your bite. He'll watch you quietly fuck yourself without letting you know he's there. (Though, you most certainly can feel his eyes on you, that's what makes it so fun right?) Sometimes he'll join you after, and other and times he'll leave you be, it's 50/50 either way and regardless you still end up happy.

-If anyone else walks in on you when you're alone, he's very unpleasant. Accident or not they'll learn to be more aware of their surroundings next time.

-That doesn't mean he's against being watched though. Actually, he finds the idea of someone else seeing how well he treats you enticing (especially if it's someone like Pure Vanilla hehe). If you are together and someone walks in (or spots you in public), he won't stop. Instead, he'll lock eyes with them and smile big and wide, showing off his favorite little dolly for them.

-He's just so proud of you, and you're so very pretty beneath him, the whole world should get to see how you fall apart for him. He'll even make you look at them just to see how you fluster.

-If the offender tries to do anything other than watch, though, well... I really hope they didn't want to live for much longer. He's very much not a sharer, at all. The idea of anyone even thinking they could touch you and make you feel good both makes him laugh and want to tear them apart at once.

-He's very much into roleplaying and can get really into it. To the point, it loses the sexiness and is just the two of you playing around, which can be a bummer but is usually really fun. He likes things that lean into power dynamics but explicitly avoids god/king and worshipper/subject. A little too close to home for him, and would honestly be too boring and basic for him.

-He loves it when you dress up for him in pretty little outfits, be it lingerie or something more cutesy, he adores it regardless. Going out of your way to pretty up for him is a huge turn-on. He also loves it when you let him dress you up how he likes. Regardless of what you're wearing, it's not coming off the whole night. It will get ruined and he won't apologize for it. Besides, he can just replace it, right?

-Sex is more fun for him, but he can be intimate when he wants to be. Usually, when you're in control, he is at his most gentle. Yes, he's a brat when he bottoms and he'll fight you tooth and nail, but once you get him to submit he's the softest and sweetest you've ever seen him.

-He looks at you like you're the god, wide eyes taking in everything you do with such admiration it might make you crumble on the spot.

-He's much quieter, treating it less like a spectacle. Moans soft and squeaky, like he's not used to using his voice in such a way. He clings to you like a vice at each little movement, almost afraid you might disappear if he lets you go.

-Oh, and he praises you so much. 'So good', 'Thank you', 'You're perfect', and 'I love you' all tumble from him with such genuine gratitude.

-Being allowed to let his guard down and have you take control is cathartic for him, which is why it's so uncommon to have it happen. It's why he fights you for control so hard because this is an intimacy he isn't used to. It is hard for him to allow you to see him so weak, but you never use it against him. You're so very sweet and loving, and it makes him melt like butter in your grasp.

-If you have the bite I mentioned earlier, it only makes things so much more intense. Both of you can feel the raw emotion connecting the two of you, making the pleasure heighten further.

-In fact, when he gives you the bite it's the first time he allows you to top him. To connect you to him makes him very vulnerable, so he would naturally have to be in a vulnerable state already when he does so.

-It's unlike any of his other bites, it's far more painful when he initially bites down, but when his magic flows through it your body feels light and airy. The pleasurable feeling wrapping itself around your spine, and you feel what he's feeling. All that adoration pours into your being at once, and it's overwhelming to really feel how much he loves you.

[itstheghostofmypast]

L♡VE- (Hyung Line)

Separate member/non-idol Ateez x (F)Reader

Summary: The moment he realised he loved you.

Genre: Fluff

Rating: PG-17

Warnings: None

Word Count: 6.7K

Est.Read Time: 33 min

Networks: @k-labels

Banner: @cafekitsune

Maknae Line: Here

Song Rec: Fallin'- Bang Yedam

A/N: A little Valentine update before Yuyu's IOMT chapter- blame @edenesth for introducing me to this song. Also, would be thanking my queen @edenesth for helping me out with these- especially Song Mingi's <3 - MY LAPTOP DIED ON ME- i-i- ill try to post the second part today too

Corporate Coffee Chaos

Personal Song Rec〜☆ Fallin' Connie Francis

Hongjoong never believed he would fall in love, let alone fall in love with someone at work. True, the man had a handful of ‘situationships’, most- or well all failed to pass to the second stage of ‘love’- he’d gone as far as kissing a few of those few blessed ones before he’d end up neglecting or ignoring them, paying attention to his first love- work. Whether he would like to admit it or not, it was a fact that he could not deny, most of his lovers had left him because he’d been so busy with work, it wasn’t his fault though, well not all of it. He had been completely honest about his ‘unhealthy obsession with work’, and although at one point he would blame himself for his failed relationships and his friends would often tease him about him eventually marrying his ‘desktop’ at the end, he had realised the moment he had met you, that it was not him who was at fault, but his heart, his heart that had closed off to almost everyone he had met, until of course when you had waltzed into the picture, or in specific, his cubicle.

He had felt his heart almost leap out of him, squeezing through his throat, ready to jump out of him and onto your palm, your very much expectant palm, only you had not been expecting his battered, shrivelled heart, instead, you had stormed into his cubicle at 8 A.M, demanding he hand you the reports that his work bestie slash coworker, Song Mingi had decided to butcher, which as a result had affected your job- the hell could he do? Oh, yeah, he was the Unit head, that meant Mingi’s clownery was something he’d have to cover up, though maybe he should thank Mingi for messing up this time, because for the entirety of the time you had been ‘explaining how he was as incompetent, lenient and overly considerate boss with eyebags that made him look like he was 50 - mind you that was a total lie-’ he had been staring at you like a lovesick puppy, trying to form the smoothest pickup line known to man, 

“Let’s discuss this over coffee?”

And discuss, you did, over a cup of coffee that had him falling to his knees for you, especially when he realised you liked your cup of brew as bitter and strong as him. One thing had led to the other and you found yourself often at coffee with Mr.Kim, the unit leader of the IT department, and eventually, perhaps a month or so later, Mr.Kim had managed to find something or someone, he may prefer over work. Well, to some extent, it didn’t take him long to figure out that you were as much of a workaholic as he was, and to an unimaginable extent he had loved that about you- another thing he had loved about you. 

So your routine was set, every morning he’d pick you up from your place, all neat and clean, with a crisp white dress shirt, his scratch-less glasses and a blinding smile, and between you two, in the cupholders of his car sat your coffees, ones he’d have Jongho, his buddy and favourite barista, brew all warm and nice early in the morning, to perfection. Call him an idiot, but it was something he admired about you- another thing he admired about you, how you’d thank him every day for something that was a routine, perhaps even his job at this point, he was after all your boyfriend, your boyfriend who had begun to be so obsessed with you that he’d need you to be around him most of the time, even at work. Though he would not call this the L-word, no he was not going to drop the L-bomb anytime soon and he had discussed it with another one of his close friends, Wooyoung, who had told him, “Hyung, you need to wait for the right moment to prove herself, trust me, I like my girl a lot, but I ain’t no simp, she gotta prove to me that she’s a real one.”

Though with your one year of being together, it was safe to say that you two were past your honeymoon phase, or were you? He wasn’t sure, he was no expert on love, he just knew that you were the first person who had grabbed his face and kissed him without letting him think of a stupid insecurity he could use to back out, and once you pulled back, your hands still gently cupping his cheek you had whispered to him, in the silence of the misty, street, under the streetlamp that had watched you two, “You need to stop overthinking Kim Hongjoong.”

For once he had listened, because soon he had felt himself let go around you, slowly showing you that he too, was human, in fact, too human sometimes- enough to still smile at her and say things like, “I really like you,” or “I hope you know you mean a lot to me.” For some ungodly reason you had never said anything to ruin the mood, you’d smile at him and recite the words back to him, wrapped in a velvet cloak of something he could still not decipher, but the way your eyes would twinkle, cheeks shine with a subtle pink hue and hands slightly tremor in his, he knew your words were sincere. Though a part of him wondered what would happen after this phase would come to an end, disillusionment or-

“Kim Hongjoong!” the man sat up straight, groaning at the pain in his lower back before turning his swivel chair and meeting your frowning face, knowing what was going to come next.

“I can not believe you,” placing the two cups of labelled coffees on his desk you frowned at him, hands on your hips as you glanced at him then the lumbar support cushion you had gotten him for his birthday and his stupid back pain. Shaking your head in defeat you moved to grab it and stuff it between his back and the backrest of his chair, before narrating, “I will be back after a little group meeting, and then, we can go out for a proper breakfast, I know for sure you showed up without breakfast.”

With a salute he watched you leave, before grabbing his coffee, odd, they were labelled, did you perhaps get them from another shop? Oh well, work Hongjoong, work, gotta make that money make purse and get your lady a nice fur coat.

Twenty minutes in he sat back, before stretching his arms above his head and yawning, huffing as he reached for his cup, only to realise it was empty, with a huff he tossed the paper cup in the bin before looking around aimlessly, where were you? For a ‘short little meeting’, huh? Bloody liar, you were worse than him, he knew how’d you get when the marketing plans were delayed, or the payments for the prints didn't make it through- anything, anything wrong to the slightest and the perfectionist in you would go ballistic- no, you’d go bat-shit crazy, pfft, he was not as bad as you.

Chuckling to himself at the thought of your hair already clipped up in a bun, sleeves rolled up, voice raised higher than your sleeves, he decided to start the next task, he could finish it halfway before you’d arrive, so much for breakfast. Leaning- hunching- back into position his fingers began to dance on the keys at an impressive speed, and amidst this display of skill he had reached to grab your lukewarm coffee, glad that you enjoy the same acidity of coffee that he did before he took a big boy swig only to freeze as his brain malfunctioned, for what slipped down his throat was not a warm, crisp taste of roasted coffee, but something that had him physically cringe, recoiling at the taste as he spat in the bin and glared at the cup, whipping his mouth with the back of his hand. Did they get your order wrong? What on earth was this incredibly sweet, milky and creamy- was this tea?!

“Sorry I’m late-” you froze at the sight of your boyfriend holding a paper cup in his hand, your paper cup. Though in return his head had whipped up to glare at you, with eyes ready to kill, a menacing glint in his usual shiny orbs, as he spat at you, “What is this blasphemous treason, woman?”

“I- I can explain- did I label them wrong? Did I mix them up-” you paused when you realised that there was only one cup left, yours, damn it, you should’ve taken this with you- oh well, guess the truth was going to come out sooner or later, you just hoped it did not change his view of you. Gently, you reached forward and took the cup from him, your fingers grazing his as you gave him a shy smile and set the cup down before holding your hands in his as you decided to confess your deepest, darkest secret, “I hate bitter coffee.”

“What.”

With a small pout you nodded, giving his hands a squeeze as you continued, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner…it’s just…it’s just that it's the first thing you ever bought me and…and you got me the same coffee every morning and I didn’t want to ruin it, it was such a sweet gesture anyone has ever done for me, out of the blue, just completely caught me off guard and you looked so…proud, so I never said anything.” You were now sitting at the edge of the desk as you continued to explain yourself, “I know it’s kind of stupid but, it really meant a lot to me, and I didn’t want to ruin it between us, I hope you can forgive me Joong, I really do like you, it’s just that I hate, no, I loath bitter things, dark chocolate, roasted coffee, lemon tarts, citrus cakes, even orange juice- like why on earth would I want to recharge myself with gross tasting things when a teaspoon of sugary goodness can do much better-”

“I love you.”

Frankly, he had stopped listening to you as soon as you had said, 'It’s just that it's the first thing you ever bought me and…and you got me the same coffee every morning and I didn’t want to ruin it’- what kind of idiot continues to torture herself every morning just to keep her boyfriend happy- no one had ever done that for him, hell, you’d been drinking Jongho’s strongest brews for almost a year without complaint just to keep him happy? Just to make him feel loved? Were you like an angel who had lost her way while going back up to heaven or something and had mysteriously landed in his arms? Or was he being rewarded by a higher entity? 

“W-what?” you whispered only to feel him squeeze your hands this time and repeat the words, “I.Love.You.” Only in return, he had earned not only your heart but your whole being, and if you weren’t at work, you would have smothered him with kisses, well, perhaps you could do that in the car before you go for your brunch- lunch, it was definitely lunch time now.

“I love you too, Joong.”

Perfect Puzzle Picture

Personal Song Rec〜☆ Bewitched Laufey

Doctor Park Seonghwa was a busy man, one of the best neurologists in his town, with a great track record of patients, and an even better relationship with patients- he was smart, skilled, kind and handsome, a whole package. A package that may have potential mother-in-laws approve of him without a background check, he was a total catch- with the brains, looks and financial stability, there was only one problem, Dr Park Seonghwa was a total nerd. Once the scrubs would come off, the man would morph into a cat mom; introverted, shy, in this case, the cat was the resident cardiologist, a shining star, Dr Choi, who one would often find in Dr Park’s residence or around him at work if the two were free- some even assumed that these two were ‘a thing’. Mind you, as soon as this rumor had made it to him, he had told Dr Choi to disappear or he’d pull his brain out of his nostrils, Egyptian mummy style. Oh, he was also a nerd, with an abnormal obsession with Lego sets.

Ironically, it had been due to his love for lego sets that he had met you, one fine night, and just like the God sent blessing you were, you had smiled at him politely when your hands had touched reaching for the last box of the  X-Wing Starfighter™, only for him to quickly pull away apologising, “You can have it, Miss.” He didn’t want to let it go, but seeing such a pretty little lady buying an intricate set had his lego-loving fanboy-self force him to bow to your mysterious self. Though your response had completely caught him off guard, “Oh, you can have it, my nephew is like 10, I was just getting this one because it's expensive and I can be the cool aunt.” That night your fate of being a cool aunt had been sealed, oh, and you had managed to somehow acquire the friendship of a cute doctor, who had also paid for this lego set…and a few more, each with a backstory you did not care remembering, too mesmerized by his beauty, and amused by his interest in his little hobby, admiring his dedication, since your short attention span barely ever had you finishing a 20 piece picture puzzle, let alone a whole 3-d set.

Therefore, your friendship had slowly blossomed into something more, something more precious, more pure and intimate- of course after the approval of the great Dr.Choi, who at the first glance at you had turned to the neurologist and stated, without thinking- one of his not so good qualities- “She’s way out of your league, hyung.” As a result, he had received a kick, and was told to leave their ‘lunch table’ at once, or he’d complain about him to HR. Nonetheless, Seonghwa was glad to have met you, you were sweet, kind, considerate, and somewhat of a people’s pleaser but something he really admired about you was how when you’d walk into the room, you would be all that he could see, you were the flame to his moth- something about you was so attractive that he’d often end up giggling in bed at the thought of you. Perhaps it was the way you accepted him as a whole, his flaws and his best qualities, how you’d clean with him, how you’d cook for him, how you’d secretly stalk healthy items in his ‘snack cabinet’ and how you’d always leave him craving for more, especially when you’d come to visit him for lunch at the hospital- oh you’d drive him too, and he was grateful, he could drive, but you were a much better driver and at least everyone wasn’t shipping him with Dr.Choi Stupid anymore, since you were very clearly in the picture. Nonetheless, you were a romantic- in secret- and Park Seonghwa, oh he loved that because he was a smart man, who’d know how to use this inclination of yours, which is why a year ago he had asked you out, on valentines day, and guess what? After three months of courting you, meeting your family, and becoming your nephew’s ‘favourite Doctor’, you had said yes to a date you would never forget- especially as the two of you sat at the top of the Ferris wheel, hand in hand, staring at the sunset, alone together, your silence singing around you, enveloping the two of you in a symphony that could only reach its harmonious peak through the beating of your hearts as they waltz under the glow of your admiration for each other.

Tonight was the night, the night he had decided to take their relationship to the next level, their first anniversary was the perfect moment to be doing this, he thought to himself as he picked up the box wrapped in plastic, smiling at the way this was not only romantic but an easy piece to build- it also catered to your ‘bouquets are killing live flowers, so I don’t prefer something so temporary’ policy. The Wildflower Bouquet was something you two could build together, it would officially be your first Lego set, and the first ever Lego set the two of you could build together, perhaps after that, you could play a movie in the background, Barbie The Island Princess one you liked so much, it was the first movie the two of you had watched anyway. Yes, this was a good plan, after dinner, the two of you could clean up, and get to it at home, working together on this. With this thought he had it wrapped up in the shiniest, prettiest wrapping paper, matching his vibrant smile he made his way to the restaurant where you were waiting for him, ready with a big meal for your big boy.

You looked around the hall filled with couples, feeling a bit more special because a romantic holiday wasn’t the only reason you were here, waiting for your boyfriend, no, it was your anniversary as well, and somewhere deep down inside of you, bubbled those three words you wanted to blurt out to him- not yet, you’d tell yourself, Seonghwa was a wonderful man, honest and loyal to the bone, but you didn’t want to scare him off, pressure him into something- he’d take things slow and you knew that, he was more interested in showing you how he felt through his little gestures, and-

“Hey, sorry I’m late.”

You glanced up from the table to smile at the man who looked at you like you were his whole world, and to some extent you knew you were, this look was the only reason you were waiting patiently- any other man would’ve been kicked out pretty soon, not this clown though, he happened to be your clown, one you somehow gave your heart to, to juggle around.

“It’s alright, I’ve already ordered for the both of us,” you stated out, knowing it was very much okay to do so, because this man could and would eat anything, as long as the serving size was enough for a small village- lord knows how jealous you were of his efficient metabolism.

“No problem at all, that’s good because now I can give you this!” he smiled, letting out an excited giggle as he placed the box on the table and pushed it towards you, his smile growing bigger at your gasp followed by an “Aww…Hwa, thank you!”

Fingers tracing the glossy paper you smiled at your reflection before glancing at him then proceeding to open the packaging only to stop mid-way as you stared at the box, not noticing the concerned look plastered on the face of your lover who whispered, “Is everything okay sunshine?” Did he mess up? Was this not romantic enough? Shit. Of course, it wasn’t Park Seonghwa, she wasn’t a ten-year-old boy or a grown man with a weird obsession with toys-

“Seonghwa- I- Hey, earth to Dr.Park!”

He snapped out of his self-berating monologue at your voice, his glossy orbs meeting your confused ones, wait- was the guilt?

You placed the gift bag on the table and slid it towards him, “Open it up doc.”

With a small pout, he reached into the bag, pulling out a box, only to pause when he looked at it, before looking at you then the box, then HIS box, then back at you when you let out a sheepish chuckle, “Guess both of us have the same ideas when it comes to romance, huh, doc?”

“Oh…yeah,” he breathed out before mumbling, “First Lego set idea?”

“Yeaaah…” you mumbled, “Thought doing it with you would be romantic- well, I mean YOU did too.” you smiled at him and took the boxes, placing them in the bag and on the ground when the waiter arrived with your food, as you stared at your man who was looking at you like you had just broken him- in fact you had. Never in a million years had Park Seonghwa thought he’d find someone who’d enjoy his hobby with him, he was well and fine with knowing you could tolerate it, but knowing that you were going out of your way to start something new with him, something that meant the world to him, something that could be just something the two of you did together, meant one thing and one thing only-

“I think I’m in love with you.”

You were pouring water in his cup when his words echoed in your ears, a smile gracing your lips as you eyes flickered up from the glass to your boyfriend who looked like he was going to explode in the next ten seconds if you did not meet him with similar sentiments, lucky for him, you did-

“I think I love you too, Doc.”

He visibly shivered in his seat, smiling at you like your little goofy clown anticipating what was to come next. The night was still young, after this very delicious-looking meal he could take you home, he could show you his new cloud-shaped cotton candy bath bomb, and after a little fun in the tub, the two of you could be all cosy in your matching PJs he had been keeping in secret to give you on your birthday- screw it, he’d get you something else on your birthday, maybe even propose to you- and then the two of you could spend the rest of the night building one set after the other, with whatever the hell you wanted as background noise, because he’d be too busy, too obsessed, too absorbed in your beauty, your presence, your being as a whole- he had finally found his missing puzzle piece to make his heart whole.

Game of Love

Personal Song Rec〜☆ Old Love Yuji & Putri Dhalia

“DADDY DILUC HERE WE GO!”

Yunho looked up from his phone to chuckle at your excitement, sitting there in your office attire, heels kicked off near the door, your dress shirt crinkly because of the entire days of hard work, hair in an extremely tight ponytail so you could focus, manspreading on his couch- thank God you were wearing pants- slouching against his couch with the controller in hand. You had been working like a dog at work, hour over hour, nonstop meetings and work that truly would scar a normal human being.

He used to think his job was stressful, having a dog cafe wasn't the easiest thing out there, with so many things to manage, but when he had seen an office woman tired and exhausted, pressing her forehead against the cool glass door of his closed cafe, staring down at a puppy with the saddest pout he had ever seen, he had realised that maybe there were more exhaustive jobs out there. That night he had let you in, nodding at the way you apologised constantly, telling him you had a horrible day at work and just wanted to spend time with the puppers- that and how “stupid apartment policy didn't allow pets.” He didn't really get an chance to give in his two cents because you were so busy hugging every dog that came your way, only for him to realise that you were a regular…only that you'd often come around at this time -closing time- and a “Fairy Prince Manager Guy”, would let you in for 10-15 minutes. Ah, Kang Yeosang, truly a God sent miracle of some kind.

Since that night, Yunho would send Yeosang off early, telling him that he'd close up, that was his job as the owner of course and like the innocent bub the Maltese - sorry- Doberman was, he never questioned, only merrily skipped away with his things all packed up. Each night Yunho would let you in, sometimes he'd even make you something to eat, watching you play around with the dogs while he'd clean up, sometimes you'd help him arrange the things and take the dogs to their beds, sometimes he'd watch you take a small nap with the dogs. And one night much like the others, he had mustered up the courage to ask you out and amid the canine chaos you had giggled out a ‘yes’.

So, after almost a year of being together, your boyfriend who was a true gamer at heart was now sitting in his living room on the floor, back pressed against the couch, phone in hand trying to play a co-op mode with you because you had agreed to game with him only if you played Genshin Impact because “I gotta mine for daddy Diluc.” He had picked you up from work and you had had dinner in the car, refusing to go into the restaurant, so the drive through it was, and as soon as you had reached his apartment complex he had received a big smooch on his cheek followed by a “Thank you, Yuyu~”.

Now, the two of you were going to game, spend some quality time together, even though it was almost midnight, tomorrow was a day off and you were dying to spend time with your very considerate and caring man, who deserved the world and for some reason, the world had given him a girlfriend who barely spent time with him. Therefore, if you had forced yourself to leave work today, going to the restaurant would have wasted time which is why you insisted you have dinner in the car, the sooner you'd reach home the sooner you could spend time with Yunho.

Yunho glanced up at you, chuckling at how you cursed when you lost a team member, “NOooo Razor my boy!” Shaking his head in amusement he looked back at his smaller screen, thinking of how busy he had been the past whole week. One of his dog's was sick so he had been making frequent visits to the Vet, and that's where the infamous doctor Jung Wooyoung had graciously told him, “Keep on ignoring your girl and she'll definitely leave you.” ” Did he then look at the doctor and almost debate on whether he should punch him in the face or not? Yes, he did, but instead of listening to his intrusive thoughts, he decided to take the other approach, one that had most of society believing Jeong Yunho was a very emotionally stable and nice guy, “And you know this how?”

Wooyoung who was patting the cute Shiba Inus, hummed in return, “When couples don't spend enough time together, their connection can weaken, leading to decreased intimacy, poor communication, potential feelings of neglect, and a lack of shared experiences, which can ultimately strain the relationship and potentially lead to resentment or a fading spark between partners; essentially, the bond between them may deteriorate due to lack of quality time together.”

That was all it took to convince Jeong Yunho to spend time with you no matter what, hence, the gaming session. Ever so often he’d glance up at you, smiling at your focused expressions, admiring the way you looked so natural in your element, enough to have him move onto the couch, right next to you, tucking the loose strands of hair behind your ear, his fingertips caressing your cheek in the process before you turned to him with a pout that had his heart clench, urging him to hug you close, smother you with his attention. You had handed him the controller, “You better win, Jeong,” with that you had skipped to the kitchen, looking for something to eat for the two of you, perhaps to make a cup of tea for yourself as well. By the time you had returned with a bag of chips and two cups of tea your boyfriend had ascended your character which almost had you falling to your knees to propose to him- speaking of propose, for a while you had been wondering if you should say those three words to him. Yunho was a smart man, he was a reliable man, and most of all he was an honest man, so you really were not sure what was stopping you from declaring your undying love for him. Maybe it was the fact that he could sometimes be too night, a part of you wondered if he felt the same way about you, you knew he liked you, but did he love you? That is exactly why you had yet to say anything to him, wanting him to make the first move, it would be safer if he did so, it would be better if he did so, because for all you know, maybe he was tired of you-

“You okay?”

His words caught you off guard, almost dropping your cup in the process, clearing your throat. You smiled up at him and nodded, “Just…a little tired Yuyu, that’s all.”

With a slight nod he pouted at your response, leaning closer to place, brushing his lips over your forehead before sighing, “How about we call it a night? You can just wish on the banner later-”

The man could not even finish the sentence because you had snatched the controller out of his hand to wish on the various character banners- thankful that your man was a good grinder, feeding your gambling addiction.

Yunho snorted at the way you were wishing non-stop, whining at every pull, ah, leave it to you to do something like that, you didn’t even hear him when he had declared a bathroom trip, “I’ll be back in ten minutes- the burger really didn’t set well.”

It did not set well at all, his insides were on fire and he’d be lying if he were to say he didn’t open the little washroom window and that he did not in fact use up the entire air freshener. If you had to use the washroom, he’d have to ask you to wait, otherwise, you’d probably break up with him if you were to smell the aftermath of the war that had taken place in the tiled room. He huffed in exhaustion, glancing at his wristwatch, 4 A.M., it was late, even if you had a day off, you needed to sleep, good thing he changed the sheets today, you could take his bed and he'd take the couch.

Walking into the living room to find the TV switched off, remote controllers back in place on the console, coffee table clean, if he were to check the kitchen, he would find washed dishes and a cleaned counter. He saw you sitting on the couch, purse beside you, your phone in your lap- wait? You were leaving? Were you calling an Uber? You couldn’t possibly think he’d tell you to leave at this hour of the night, never- he wouldn’t drop you off either, knowing you, you’d just fall face first on your couch and wake up with the worst back pain next morning. He was about to ask you to sleep here when he heard a light snore, eyes flickering up from your phone to your face- oh, you were asleep. A small smile graced his lips as he sat down on the couch next to you, slowly reaching to caress your cheek, a form of guilt spreading through him as he noticed your tired features, something inside him blossoming, confirming that feel that he’d been pushing deep down within him, trying to ensure to not slip- but here he was ready to confess to you, confess that he had decided to spend the entirety of his life with you, solely because he had never met anyone who was so ready to spend time with him, spend time doing what he’d like. He’d shown you all sides of him, how he was a sweet man, how this same sweet man could snub rude customers who were mean to animals, how you’d seen him get cranky if he was woken up after a rough sleep, and how he’d shown you what he was like in his lowest when you’d come to his apartment to check up on him when his senior husky, Macho Man, the first dog he started his cafe with had passed away due to old age, though it had taken a big toll on him. You had walked into his apartment, looking around at the mess but dared not to utter anything negative, instead you had tiptoed to the six-foot-plus man who was curled in his bed, all tired and sad, coercing the heaps of blankets off him, as you helped him sit up, cupping his face, wiping his tears, “Aww….Yuyu….he’s in a better place now, playing with all those cute big and small doggos up there.” Kissing his tears dry you had pulled him out of bed, had him take a nice path and then had dragged him out in the sun, showing him why he had begun feeling about you this way.

You slowly opened your eyes to Yunho looking intently at you, deep in thought as his fingers continued to run through your hair, gently scratching your scalp. Actually, that had been what had you slowly slip out of your sleepy state, you felt ‘too relaxed’, not a feeling your nervous, overworked body was used to-

“I love you.”

Your breath hitched at the quiet whisper, finally twitching in action, reaching to grab his hand and bringing it down to your lap, clasping his hand in both of yours as you smiled at him, taking in his shocked expressions, “Care to repeat that for me?”

He raised a brow at your little smirk before shaking his head and giving you a big smile, “Well…I was declaring my love for my sleeping beauty who seemed to be spying on me.”

Your laughter echoed in the living room as you felt him move closer and envelope you in a hug, arms circling around you, squeezing you closer when you whispered back, “I love you too.”

Taste of Love

Personal Song Rec〜☆ I Feel Loved Aden, Amin

“Yes, but have you shown her your horrible taste pallet?”

Even though he wanted to argue with the stupid vet, he knew what Wooyoung met. Wooyoung had known Yeosang since middle school, he'd seen how weird the pretty airhead can be, especially when it came to his snacks. Wooyoung scratched the dog's ear before looking at Yeosang, “Dating a pastry chef and not telling her about your horrendous desserts is a bit of a deal breaker don't ya think?”

That was why Kang Yeosang had asked Jongho to give his best worker ant a day off on Valentine's day. He only said yes because it was Yeosang, anyone else would have gotten thrown out at such a barbaric request. You had smiled up at him, wiping your hands with your apron at the sight of the princely man who was talking to your boss, curious about what was going on. Only for them to split when you came closer, Jongho mumbling something about a day off tomorrow and your pretty boyfriend offered you a shy smile and giggled, “Dinner at my place tomorrow?”

Not a bad idea, you loved spending time with him, watching him game for hours, playing with dogs at his workplace, going for walks with him- anything actually, you just wanted good company and Yeosang could definitely be considered as great company. What was worrying you however, was his constant fidgeting. You'd never seen him like this, worrying over the slightest of things, running around the table to hand you a tissue instead of just passing the box. He didn't even let you get up to help him set the table.

You had brought fried chicken and a soda, even though he was persistent that you didn't need to, it was his treat, true, but you couldn't come empty handed, so…you may have brought a nice fudge cake for dessert too, something you had been planning to launch at the cafe, but you wanted your Sangie to taste it first, so he could give you his review and you could mold it to his taste.

Yeosang stared at the box in the kitchen, leaning closer to sniff the chocolate, God, it smelt divine but YOU and your GENEROUS LOVING BEHAVIOUR had foiled his plans of his dessert dish with your much normal, much more delicious and well thought out dish. Running his fingers through his hair he wondered if he should come out clean to you right now, “Love, I gotta tell you something, I Kang Yeosang am a total freak.” Or okay maybe he could rephrase it, “I gotta show u my true self, please don't run away my love, please, trust me, my intentions are pure.”

“Sangie?”

You called out, coming into the kitchen with the dirty plates in hand as you set them in the sink, eying the way he was staring at the cake, “What's the matter? Don't you like it?”

He shook his head and gave you a small smile, one that calms you down before he walked over and placed his hands on your shoulders, “I made dessert too…can we…try that first?”

Your head tilted to the side as you pondered for a moment before smiling at him, “That's why you've been so worried?” You reached for his cheek only to pinch it, earning a gasp from him before moving and running out of the kitchen, calling for him as you took a seat at the table “I'm waiting Chef Kang!”

Yeosang felt his cheeks heat up at that name, technically wasn't nervous about that but at least your consolation made him feel a bit better as he answered back, “Be right there!”

You stared at the bowl in front of you, ramen…and chocolate?

“Is this…a foreign dish, Sangie?”

He felt his heart clench at your innocence, oh God, he was about to destroy you, break you, ruin you for life. Shaking his head he handed you a spoon, “It's….my recipe…”

“Oh!? I got a special treat from Chef Kang himself!?” You giggled before taking a spoonful of broth and sniffing in. It didn't smell bad, though it was an odd choice of combined goods but, you trusted him, you trusted him with your heart and soul. That thought in mind you tasted the dish, freezing on the spot.

Yeosang was eagerly sitting next to you, he had dragged his chair next to yours, with a glass of water in hand and a tissue box near him, in case your reflex reaction were to spit it out. He watched the way your facial expressions change, from curiosity to determination and then you froze, as if you were trying to calculate something, comprehend something, trying to rationalise it. Good lord, she was probably thinking of how to break it to him- no what if she was phrasing a polite way of breaking up with him and-

“I LOVE THIS!”

His breath hitched at your screech, taking in the way you squealed, “I mean sure, it's not everyone's cup of tea but the sweet and spicy taste- the broth is tangy! plus the ramen adds a soft texture to it- why haven't you given me this before?”

He had honestly stopped listening because the moment you had called him a great cook- well, something like that, it was close enough, the point is, he had just realised something, something he was about to blurt out,

“I love you!”

Your monologue stopped as you turned your head to stare at the man who was staring back at you, his shaky hands reaching to cup your face as he blinked at you before whispering again, “I love you…” if there was one thing Yeosang was sure of, it was that he had developed these strange feelings for you, that had him thinking about you 24/7, that had him wanting to be close to you or near you, that's why he'd walk 10 blocks To the cafe for his lunch break, only so he could stare at you work around, passing him a smile every time you'd make eye contact with him. He just didn't know what to call it, he had no words to describe this warm fuzzy feeling…well…that is until now,

“I really do….love you.”

[babybearnation]

polyam!lance/mick + omegaverse = general soft/smutty headcanons

(i blame my omegaverse obsession on you btw /lh)

you're welcome lol <3

omega!lance stroll x alpha!male!reader x omega!mick schumacher

smut below cut

fluff:

lance smells like blueberries and mick smells like cornflowers, a concoction that never fails to make you feel loved, safe and happy

a perfect pair of cuddle bugs, these two can always be found in each other's arms or clinging to you - it's like they have a cuddle quota they must fill every day

they were very nervous at the start of their relationship with you but you courted them so sweetly and were so patient with their anxieties that they couldn't help but fall hard and fast

neither of them can sleep without having some sort of physical contact with you - you usually end up trapped with lance on your left side, mick on your right, and their hands link over your tummy or back (depending on how you sleep - these two make sleeping on your side impossible)

both mick and lance get jealous over you interacting with other omegas but they react in different ways - mick gets quiet and teary but he always speaks to you about his feelings whereas lance gets angry and bitter, lashing out at you before he bursts into tears

lance is very catlike in that, should he feel inclined to, he'll walk up to you or mick and just casually start nuzzling his head against your skin, desperate for kisses and cuddles and affection

mick is what many deem to be the perfect omega - he's sweet and quiet and patient, but he's also very playful and fun and he's not above indulging lance in his chaos even when he's tired

these two have no qualms whatsoever about parading you around and showing you off to people - after all, you are theirs and they don't care who finds that annoying/irksome

smut (bottom!lance, switch!mick & top!reader):

lance and mick's scents always combine to create the most potent candle-esque scent ever when you three have sex and it's damn near impossible to forget it once you've smelt it, especially if your scent is thrown into the mix as well

lance is clingy during sex, his legs wrapped around the head or waist of the person in between them, but mick is perfectly content to sit to one side and watch, as much as lance begs for his touch

their first heats with you were intense but you made sure to take such good care of them with the help of the other omega and it made any and all heats the easiest to deal with because of it

pre-heat jealousy actually hits mick harder than it does lance. lance stays pretty much the same, if a little bit snippier, but mick fully snaps at people, threatening to hurt them if they get too close to you

both have a thing for marking you up but lance goes for scratching whilst mick goes for soft love bites - they both go absolutely feral any time you mark them up, though (the harder, the better)

even in heat, neither of them can last very long - the two of them are just such sleepy boys that it only takes 2-3 rounds for them to be satiated, both in and out of heat (whilst this can sometimes make your ruts harder, you never let them feel bad about it)

they require so much aftercare its insane - you'll have to somehow clean them up, get some water & food in them and (if they choose to put clothes back on) redress them all whilst they cling to each other sleepily and refuse to help you

mick gets shy post-heat as he doesn't like all the stares he gets but lance shines so brightly when he's covered in your marks and has a limp because of your knot that it slowly starts to rub off on mick as well

© all rights to babybearnation 2025.

[rockwgooglyeyes]

Hi Rocky, remember when I said I had conflicting feelings about Round 7. Well um what did you think of the new video

Geo!! Lovely to see you :3

So unpopular opinion maybe, but I actually really liked Wiege? That could be just because I enjoyed the song but the amount of lore that they're able to give us in little snapshots is truly amazing. Hyuna losing her round, Hyuna sacrificing herself for Luka, all of the natural metaphors in the lyrics (the wings drenched with longing finally unfold, you'll embrace the sea that sings, etc), Mizi finally gonna go apeshit . . . I'm excited for what's next and I'm actually very happy with Wiege! Not necessarily happy that Hyuna died but uh thats more complicated. . .

One, it seems apparent that Luka killed the other clones of him? Which is both insane but also makes a lot of sense, insofar as his feeling of superiority towards them. It's a crazy thing to think about but it shows the way that he views most other living beings as chess pieces in a broader game, if that makes sense? He doesn't really care about people on a personal level, most often, and that's what makes Hyuna special. . .

We also get to see how Luka's love is both obsessive and possessive, the him kissing her wanted posted while in his room, (yknow the whole "your life is mine" bit from before) but we also get to see how Luka's love really is, in part, about seeking comfort from someone he loves. He leans into Hyuna while she cries, likely mourning Hyunwoo's death, and when he runs towards her, he's reaching out. It's strange how . . . earnest it is, how unadulterated by anything like possession or conditions. Not only that but Hyuna does seem to genuinely love Luka back, maybe not romantically, but she definitely cherishes him, which we knew before but it's still nice to see confirmed again.

Additionally, I would say that we get evidence that the fight that killed Hyunwoo, well, it was started by Hyunwoo. It seems likely that Luka did something to annoy Hyunwoo or did something that frustrated him, enough that Hyunwoo decided to get physical. I mean Hyunwoo doesn't seem happy about it, for sure. But with the framing, it makes me think that Hyunwoo was simply killed in a fight, most likely on accident- though we know that Luka has possessive feelings over Hyuna, from what we've seen of his past with Hyuna and Hyunwoo, he didn't seem to view them as that much of a separate entity. A lot of the shots where Hyunwoo is still alive, in Wiege at least, Hyunwoo is framed as positively as Hyuna is . . . which makes me think that Luka didn't kill Hyunwoo on purpose.

Then again it doesn't really appear like Luka knew what he'd done, in the aftermath. . .

We also get to see more glimpses of the kiddos at the garden which made me very happy!! I don't have much to say about it but I simply find it endearing to see them all together again, to have that confirmation that they really were friends, they really did love each other. Ivan bringing the others to take care of the waygein was the most interested of the "past" cutscenes to me . . . besides all of the Hyuna focused ones, that is.

Additionally, the snippets of a modern alternate universe, seemingly the high school au? or something adjacent to that, is so lovely, just to see them all happy . . .

I think it's so interesting that Hyuna sacrifices herself, fulfilling a pattern that we've seen before with 3 out of the now 4 dead characters. Ivan, Sua, and now Hyuna, all sacrificed their lives for a person that they loved. It's fascinating on a more meta level that Hyuna's sacrifice is the only one that isn't planned, she didn't intend to die for Luka today but she does because she doesn't think, she just knows that she needs to save him from being killed. I think that both of those forms of sacrifice are kind of lovely, they show the willingness to put your life on the line for someone you love (but sacrifice in and of itself is often a selfish act, and I'm definitely not saying it's heroic . . . just poetic).

Not only that but the rocket imagery behind Hyuna while she's speaking to Luka is so so strange. I don't really know what that is but I have one theory; "because everything begins from there." I think that the rocket, maybe, is representative of that first contact that humans had with the seygein all those years ago, the way that humanity got itself into this mess of slavery and suffering, and by extension, "everything begins from there." but that's my only real thoughts on the rocket . . .

man this is so long I'm sorry Geo . . . suffice to say, I actually like Wiege!! probably a weird thing to say but uh yeah, the song is lovely, the animation is stunningly beautiful as per usual, and the story is utterly thought provoking, I am rapt. The amount of lore we got in this episode along makes me froth at the mouth a little.

Thank you so much for asking, Geo!! I am going to send you an ask because I'm curious what you thought 👀 love youuuu thank you so much for indulging me :3

[percywinchester27]

The new Mrs. Winchester (21)

Word count: 3.3K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Chapter warnings: Implications of sexual abuse, mentions of torture, PTSD, angst, flesh trade, language, mention of violence and murder; reader discretion is strongly advised.

Series Summary: After spending over two years in captivity, and enduring assault, torture, and degradation of every kind, Y/N is finally sold off to the highest bidder. But when the deal is masked as a hushed marriage to a wealthy and powerful man, Y/N knows it means a few more nights of brutal torment ending in certain death. After all, why else would a man like him, want someone like her, except to fulfill desires so depraved that they would require owning a person. However, the Winchester mansion has mysteries of its own, woven in lies, betrayal, and death. Smack in the middle of it, she finds both hope and a home, in the person she least expected to find it with. But when it comes down to it, will she be able to save the thing that matters the most?

A/N: Look who is posting regularly now ;)

Beta: My darling, @deanssweetheart23

The new Mrs. Winchester masterlist

“Miss, you can’t keep waiting by the door for him all day!”

“Watch me,” you muttered and Abby let out a sigh. She must be convinced of your obsessive insanity by now.

“I called Jack and he called Castiel. Mr Winchester will not be back before evening. You will fall sick in this cold.”

“It’s already five… won’t be long before evening. You go on.”

Abby gave you a look that most definitely doubted your sanity but left you at the foot of the staircase where you sat with your book, feet tapping so rapidly, that the anklet Sam had gifted you started to sting.

For the umpteenth time, you wondered what the last, engraved square charm stood for.

Abby had seen you through a week's worth of anxiety but did not know the reason behind it. You knew. Sam was to return today and he had every intention of completely avoiding you and there was no way you were giving him that chance.

Since finding it, you had read Sam’s letter so many times, that the crumpled paper had lost most of its composition and now lay flat, the words already etched in your mind. At first, the pain and sadness in his words riddled you like bullets, but the more time you spent with his words, the angrier you felt about the whole situation.

How dare he apologise for saving you? Stupid, stupid man! How dare he make you fall in love with him even more? 

Admitting to the things he’d admitted to couldn’t have been easy… his childhood, how he truly thought himself to be responsible for his mother’s death and then Jo’s. How his father had treated him, and watching his brother, the only family he had known waste away right in front of his eyes just like his father.

You shuddered to yourself, thinking of your Han that way. Dean had an easy-going way about him. If bringing you into the picture had eased his anguish, how could it have been a bad thing? Sam, with his principles, couldn’t forgive himself for the act, but you, who was the one affected by it, wanted to find him and kiss his hands for signing that cheque now. He hadn’t just saved his brother, he had also saved you.

Then there were things he’d admitted to about you. 

…but what if I confessed that I liked the fall of your hair…

… I could nearly imagine the feel of your skin, your lips…

A soft shiver ran through your body at the recollection.

If Sam had stripped himself naked before you, he’d have still been less vulnerable. By admitting to the shame he felt over the simple act of choosing you, he’d bared more than you in that godforsaken picture. You understood him now… understood him to the depth of his soul. 

But you wished he understood that with all his principles, he was only a man. And he couldn’t keep punishing himself for having the reactions and instincts of one.

…How am I any better than all those men? How could I ever face you after that?

Reading those words? All you wanted to do was climb into his skin, dissolve into his being and hold him so tight, he’d never feel that shame again.

Footsteps echoed outside the door and you got to your feet, the book falling to the ground with a thump. Had you been less lost in thought, you would have realised those footsteps didn’t have the crispness of Sam’s.

“Hey, Honeybun!” Nick smirked. “Waiting for me?”

The air in your throat coagulated then disappeared to nothing seeing his face.

“You are as jawdroppingly gorgeous as ever.”

“And you are just as bastardly,” you heard yourself say. Any other day words might have evaded you, but living through Sam’s anguish over something he had no control over, made you livid at this asshole’s audacity, who hadn’t lost even a second of his sleep over destroying your life.

“Oh, she shows teeth now,” he said silkily.

“Get out of my house,” you hissed. “Get lost before I call the security.”

“And tell them what?” He challenged. “Why you’re kicking Sam’s cousin out? Mary was my mother’s sister, you know. I’m part of the Trust. Or do you not want the people in your house to know about us.”

“There’s no us.”

Nick took a few calculated steps close to you. “Come on now, Y/N. I know you love your secrets, you’ve always thrived in them. Secret siblings in a boarding school. Never thought I would become your dirty little secret, too.” He grinned and you shuddered. “What a privilege.”

He circled you slowly and you pressed into the balustrade, grabbing the handrail. 

“Poor little Sammy, does he know how you secretly met his brother at the pier in the middle of the night? That’s right, I saw little Y/N sneaking out in the dark. Do you still have Dean’s leather jacket in your drawer?”

The blood in your vein suddenly ran cold. “S- Sam knows… Dean and I are friends… He knows.”

“Tch Tch Tch,” laughed Nick, the sound grating your brain. “Sam knows his brother thinks of you as his friend. But you tell me, which respectable wife would tiptoe out of the house in the middle of the night to meet a complete stranger? Now good Ol’ Deano knew who you were, but you didn’t know who he was, did he now? So didn’t you lie to your husband about your secret rendezvous with a man?” He sighed dramatically. “What they say is true after all. Once a slut… always a slut.”

“Don’t you…”

“Dare?” He mocked, hands in air. “Does Sammy even know everything you did with me? Did to me? That you’ve gone down on your knees for me and–

The clatter of a briefcase had you jumping out of your skin.

Sam stood over the threshold, face white as a board. 

“Sammy!” Nick greeted with glee. “My man! You look ready to drop. Bad trip?”

He placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder and Sam shirked it away in disdain.

“I was just telling Y/N how wonderful it is to catch up with her after all these years. Did you know we used to date in college? Well, she was in college anyway. I never had time for that shit.”

Nick turned to face you with a grin. “I was telling her how… great she still looks. Doesn’t she?”

At long last Sam’s gaze slid from Nick to you, absolute disbelief etched in his expression. 

You stared back helplessly.

When Nick turned back around, Sam had gathered his expression and settled into a perfectly blank face.

“Nick,” said Sam, voice composed. “I had a long flight back and I’m in no mood to see your face when I could have a much better view. I’d much rather be in bed, having dinner with my wife than stand around listening to you reminiscing about things that don’t matter anymore.”

“You knew?” Nick challenged, doubtful.

Sam picked up his briefcase and briskly crossed the distance, surpassing Nick. “I sure remember gagging when Y/N mentioned it in passing. I find it hard to believe she had such terrible taste.” He picked up your fallen book and handed it to you, beginning to take the steps. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have more important things to do.”

At the top step, he turned and said, “Y/N, come on up. Find Abby and get her to send the dinner up for us. I’m starving.” With that, he disappeared into the corridor.

Shock held you in place for a few moments, but eventually, you turned your back on that grinning bastard and followed Sam up the steps. The door to his room was already closed and when you tried to push it open, the door held. 

“Damn it,” you cursed, crossing to the next door and getting into your own room. Things were already as fucked as they could get and this was not how you had wanted Sam to find out about Nick.

Horrifyingly, Sam and Dean now had one-half of the story. Dean knew your boyfriend had sold you to the boss and now Sam knew Nick had been the boyfriend. Only you knew the whole truth and had known it for a while. The mole on the estate that the brothers were searching for had to be none other than Nick. After all how many such assholes could be around? And it made perfect sense now. Nick was part of the Estate Trust, someone who could have easily offered Rosalie a new job, and lured all these women associated with the estate into the flesh trade. Even Jo, who might have just stopped the car to acknowledge Dean’s cousin had paid for that mistake with her life.

The true horror of the situation was how you could tell neither brother the truth because if Dean found out that Nick was the reason his fiance was dead, he would kill Nick and the boss would know. And if Sam found out what your Ex-boyfriend had done… you still remembered the murderous rage in his eyes when he’d found out about Michael inserting hot pins in your heels. If he confronted Nick, the boss would still know. Then what would happen to Jamie and Danny? You’d never see them again.

The sheer helplessness of holding the Ace that Sam and Dean so desperately sought in your hand, and yet unable to hand it to them.

Now, Sam knew and you felt ashamed of what he must be thinking.

Rushing inside the bedroom vestibule, you pushed at the connecting door, but for the first time, found it locked… from the other side.

“Sam!” you banged on the wood. “Open the door.”

Nothing.

“Open the damn door! Let me explain.”

Oh, how the tables had turned. What a wretched feeling to be on the other side, locked out. The medicine did not taste sweet.

“Open the door,” you tried again. “P-L-E-A-S-E”

Except the last word came out as knocks and pats on the wood.

You were about to give up when the door opened and you were only a couple feet away from Sam. Being away from him for an extended amount of time always made you forget just how tall he was and right now the buttons of his shirt appeared more appealing than meeting his eyes. 

“What?” Sam asked, point blank, his voice without inflection.

All you wanted to do was close the little distance and hug him, but the two steps in between felt like miles.

“Won’t you invite me in?”

A second passed, and then Sam moved aside. “It’s your house as much as mine. You’re welcome to any part of it.”

Tears pricked your eyes. Sam’s words and tone were polite, but each detached syllable stung like a pin in your heel.

“So this is how it’s going to be?” You remained resolutely at the threshold. 

“How?” 

Something about Sam’s quiet rage rankled you from the inside. Despite his absence, you felt like you had uncovered more of Sam from Dean’s words and then his letter. Sam had always seemed like an ocean on the verge of breaking into a cyclone, that something always simmered under it, barely restrained, but dangerous all the same. Seeing him now, face cast out of stone, you finally understood how he could have fooled all the staff into thinking of him as a cold man. The truth was that whatever darkness he restrained within him, whether it was anger, fear or hatred, all of that was at its thinnest now. If you pushed, that unhinged darkness, for better or for worse, would come unleashed.

You decided to push it.

Crossing into the room you walked past Sam and took a seat at the edge of the bed. He stared at you. Sam had gone from bad to worse… his skin was shallow and his eyes sunken, looking nearly black in their intensity.

“What do you want, Y/N?”He asked once more, not moving an inch.

“I want to talk.”

“Yeah?” He walked to the bed, towering over you. “Now you want to talk?”

You ignored the question and countered with your own.

“How much did you hear?”

“Enough.”

“How much, Sam?”

“Nick’s your college boyfriend.” He took a deep breath and let it out. Calming the sea, keeping the cyclone at bay. “It’s alright. You don’t owe me answers.”

But you weren’t having any of it. “Yeah, he’s the one I told you about on our walk into the forest. My boyfriend from back home. We used to go on long rides on his Harley, cruising through the streets of California on hot nights. He was shacking up in a friend’s place in LA and he’d take me there on Friday evenings all the way to Sunday morning. Just the two of us–”

“That’s.. That’s enough. I don’t want to hear it.” His fists were clenched, tendons standing out white against his skin.

“Why?” You shouted, getting to your feet. “You’re my friend and you told me I can share anything with you. So why not?”

He twisted his body and grasped your shoulder with both his hands, fingers digging into your skin. “You know why!” His sunken eyes were watery, the white tinged with red. “You know why, Y/N. Don’t do this to me, don’t break me like this.”

You finally closed the distance, snaking your arms around his thin waist. “He is nothing but a person from my past. Nothing. Do you understand?”

“Why didn’t you tell me then? You locked yourself for days when you saw him at the inauguration. It’s been a month since and you never said a word.”

Stepping back, you looked up at Sam and admitted part of the truth. “I was ashamed. Seeing him reminded me of my past in the most jarring way, and you’ve been so kind to me, I suppose I needed time to wrap my head around it all.”

Sam peered into your face, scrutinising.

“Believe me, please.”

He deflated just a little, then nodded.

“But him? Really?” His incredulity nearly broke you, but you held your own. “Of all people, Nick?”

Oh, if only Sam knew.

“I was naive and daddy issues are a thing.” You shrugged. “C’mon, let's go to our room. All your clothes are there and you need a shower.”

Taking his hand in yours, you led Sam back over the threshold into your bedroom and closed the connecting door behind you. 

He took the room in for a minute then dragged his feet to the walk-in-wardrobe. “I’m not hungry,” he said passing you. “Just call for some coffee.”

You still had Abby bring in some fruits along with the coffee. She sat by you, nibbling on a piece of apple as Sam finished in the shower, then waited long enough to wish Sam a good night when he returned. Sam had stepped out in a thin wet tshirt, hair dripping water into the neckline, and a towel wrapped around his waist. The way Abby averted her gaze, face flaming, gave you an idea.

She left quickly after and you watched Sam put on his drawstring pants and then remove the towel from around his waist. He got on his side of the bed, pulled the covers over his legs and reached for the cup of coffee.

“How do you expect to sleep if you drink coffee right before?” You asked, but then couldn’t help adding. “Not that the thing in the cup is remotely close to coffee. Stop doing business in Bali if this is what they give you in return.”

Sam rolled his eyes while taking a sip. “Enough with the coffee already.”

“It’s such a shame that you came out of the bathroom wearing the t-shirt today. Remember that time you came out with just the towel wrapped around your waist? Short towel, too.”

He drained his cup, put it back on the side table and faced you, brow furrowed. “When?”

“Last time you were here. Great abs. Guess all that working out helps, huh?” You put your fingers on his arm. “And that time we were all wet in the shed? I slipped and fell on you, I could feel the bulk of your muscles. Made my throat go dry.”

Sam gulped. “Why are you telling me this now?”

Very slowly, holding his gaze, you moved to straddle his hips and Sam flattened himself against the headboard, a deer caught in headlight. 

“The first time I saw you, Sam Winchester, even through the veil, I knew you were an attractive man and I can’t count the number of times I have found myself staring at your body— the shoulders, the chest, arms, all of it. If you want me to go into details about what seeing you shirtless does to me, you are welcome to be my guest, but the point is, I don’t feel ashamed about it. I don’t feel ashamed about a natural reaction.”

“You read the letter…”

Raising your hand, you gently skimmed the side of his face with the back of it and he closed his eyes at the touch. 

“I did, and now you know how I feel. What are you going to do now?”

“It’s different,” he said finally. “You didn’t pay money–”

“You said yourself that you paid the price for my freedom, for a chance to know the truth about Jo and not for my body.”

“You don’t understand–”

“Don’t complicate emotions to the point of no return, Sam. I’ve wanted to kiss you, and I took both of those chances.” You leaned it, face inches away from his now, lips only a whisper away from his. “But you didn’t answer my question. What are you going to do now?”

He opened his eyes, and they smouldered. Sam’s fingers found your hair and fisted in them. He crushed his lips to yours, devouring your mouth. His other hand slid from the base of your throat, down your body, decidedly feeling the shape of you. You followed his lead, rejoicing in it… in the following. His self-control had cracked at last and he was finally staking the claim, he should have staked a long time ago… making the first move, claiming what was his… you.

Maybe it was seeing you with Nick, knowing about your past, or hearing your admission, that had caused the careful wall of self-control that Sam always held around you to crumble. Some of that self-control must have survived because he broke off, breathing hard. 

“I’m not going to apologise,” he said.

“You better not.”

Sam smiled, skin stretching over his cheekbones, but it still lit his eyes. “Yes, Ma’am.”

When he slid into the bed, he grabbed your hand and pulled you against his side instead of restricting himself to his end of the bed. “Sleep, Y/N. We have to be up early tomorrow.”

“Yeah?”

“Humour me,” he said. “I have the day planned.”

“Okay,” you agreed readily, then wound your hand around his waist, snuggling as close as you could. Between the two of you much had been said, and even more implied, yet a lot was yet to to be put into words. But Sam was here now and you had all of tomorrow. Right now you simply wanted to savour the feeling of holding the man you loved in your arms and being held by him.

*****************************

A/N 2: I LOVED writing this chapter! The nuances of Sam’s admission and the delicate nature of his emotions were just so damn satisfying to put into words! What did you think?

Oh, I can’t wait to share what’s coming with you!

Please do let me know what you think of this part. Reblogs and comments are what keep me going!

If you want to be tagged, you can send me an ask or you can add yourself to the taglist here.

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[dustisus]

og trilogy things that might come up in tgr

idk am rereading the og trilogy and here are some things that could be relevant in tgr maybe. just as a reminder ig. (i don't have exact quotes or page numbers for tkm bc i listened to the audiobook so they are paraphrased but for tfc and trk the quotes are word-for-word). ordered by theme, my comments at the end of each theme

Fans (of the Ravens)

"[Kevin and Riko's] unconventional childhood led many to worry about their psychological well-being but also fueled a rabid obsession with the pair." tfc p20

"Riko's freaky fans" (said by Nicky) trk p75

The whole Kathy interview + "The only look in [Riko's] eyes was murder." tfc p219

Comments: We know fans of the Ravens can be obsessive and extreme, but we also know that even before more questions were raised about conditions in the Nest, people were concerned about the psychological wellbeing of Kevin and Riko. We also know that Riko has been on TV looking murderous, long before the finals, which was the last straw. I think people might start looking into Riko when they start looking into the Nest and start realizing he was never okay/normal/whatever.

Jean

"'Fun is for children,' Jean said" trk p91

"It'd barely left his net before Jean checked [Kevin] hard enough to knock him over." trk p144

"'A dog who bites his masters hand deserves to be slaughtered. The location and audience are inconsequential.'" (said by Riko) trk p282

TKM, loosely quoted. Wymack about Jean and Kevin: There's too much between them, good and bad and ugly, for them to ever make things right.

Comments: Just a few pickings. I hope Jean changes his mind about fun, though he may not find Exy fun. We know Jean can check Kevin to the ground, hope that comes up again. I sure hope that thing about the dog biting the master's hand doesn't come up again, but with all the starved dog imagery I think it's inevitable. For the final one; yeah as I reread the og trilogy I'm losing more and more hope about Jean and Kevin reconnecting. I think they may just need to heal separately.

Jeremy

Mentioned in TKM: Jeremy has a "toothy smile".

Comments: This was mentioned no less than 3 times, so it must be important. If you only remember 1 thing from this post, it should be this.

The Trojans

TKM, loosely quoted: The Trojans had never been caught by cameras saying something rude about an opponent.

Comments: But that could change? Place your bets now on who's caught shit-talking the Ravens.

Kevin

TKM, loosely quoted: Kevin looked contented just to be standing on the Trojans' court. [...] Kevin gave Jeremy one of his rare real smiles.

"I don't have perfect control over Andrew, but Kevin owes us his life and I can get to Andrew through him." (said by Wymack) tfc p53

"Kevin needs someone who can keep up with and challenge him. Fortunately she is also a Raven alumnus, so she knows the repercussions of getting caught with Kevin. Maybe they'll have more luck after we've settled things with the Ravens this year.'" (Renee about Thea) trk p181

TKM, loosely quoted, Neil and Wymack speaking: N: You don't think Kevin will tell Thea the whole truth? W: Unlikely. He won't put her at risk like that.

TKM, loosely quoted: "I know what he's like" [...] "Riko. If you want to talk" Kevin was known for his talent, not his sensitivity. Consideration and tact were foreign to him. That he tried at all was so unexpected it felt like a balm.

Comments: Kevin's so sweet to be happy just to be on the Trojan's court. I hope he gets to be happy for a bit in California, even if the interview goes to shit. "Kevin owes us his life" uhhhh I hope Jean doesn't inherit that mindset. I think if we do get more Thea interactions, it will make more sense why she and Kevin are together, even though Kevin may not be entirely honest with her. Will be interesting to see how long they remain unofficial. Also Kevin can show sensitivity! I hope he gets to in TGR.

The Ravens

"This was a dark and heavy tune, an intimidating message of death and domination. The Ravens took their image seriously. Neil guessed they had a lot of intensive counseling in their futures." trk 142

TKM, loosely quoted, during Thea appearance: It made Neil wonder how the Ravens fared after they left the Nest's hivemind. Maybe it took years to recover. Maybe they never did. Maybe they broke and carried pieces of Evermore with them the rest of their lives.

Comments: You know it, Neil! None of this bodes well, for any of the ex-Ravens. But I think that when TSC3 is over, Kevin and Thea might be the ones carrying the broken pieces of Evermore. Jean probably too but I think he will have healed better. But idk.

--

hope this massive post interested you! (tell me if there are any typos) a week til tgr. wow. kevin voice: we're all going to die. yeah feel free to add anything or come with theories in the notes.

[secriden]

Oh damn, I haven't been able to get on tumblr for like 2 weeks+ and I've barely even processed Episode 11 let alone 12, but thank you for the shoutout!!

I honestly think this is such a lovely and insightful reply and one of the things I became obsessed with before the show even started is the way Fadel and Style were clearly designed to fit together "like missing puzzle pieces" (<- a phrase I used in my first ever meta post about Style, before episode 1 even dropped and all we had was the character interview video), and I think this reply captures some of the most essential aspects of this.

What you say about Style seeing Fadel is so fucking true, and also so fucking important because Fadel is the one character who does not get anyone's understanding at the start/early parts of the show. Bison already has Fadel who takes care of him and tries his best to accomodate Bison's wishes despite the danger to their identity; Kant has Babe as a semi-confident of sorts, who he can talk to even if he can't fully tell Babe all the details; Style has his dad, Kant, and a whole neighbourhood of aunties and uncles and friends (which we see glimpses/references to throughout the series in dialogue or context); hell even Keen has a boyfriend who doesn't know about his whole ~side gig as a hitman information gatherer~ but clearly loves and supports and isn't overly phased even when he's held at gunpoint. But what does Fadel get?? Fadel has no one but a "mother" who used him, who never really loved him, and an ex who (Fadel thought) left him when he found out about Fadel's true darkness.

And what I have kept coming back to, over and over and over again, and what I find so incredibly compelling about their relationship is the way Style chooses to love Fadel. There's something so special about the character who starts out knowing the least, the character who is the most narratively vulnerable and ignorant, and the one most victimised by the context, also being the one who remains unflinchingly loyal, even as each new piece of information about Fadel is revealed. Style chooses to love Fadel and it's a choice he makes over and over despite Fadel's early harsh treatment of him, despite Fadel genuinely hurting his feelings after sleeping with Style and tossing him aside, despite Kant revealing Fadel to be a murderer, despite Fadel turning on him and holding him at gunpoint, despite Fadel needing to "finish" his one last job after Style pleads with him to walk away, despite Fadel choosing jail and separation rather than going on the run and dooming Style to five years of loneliness and longing -- STYLE FUCKING CHOOSES FADEL. (Like, I'm not saying that Style didn't have his own hand in their tumultuous relationship; but my point is that loving Fadel was never the easy route and Style walked that path without ever looking back).

And I think there's something so much more compelling about a love that comes by choice rather than "helpless" and fleeting emotion. Style's love for Fadel is intentional and we see the evidence of that in the way he sacrifices so much for Fadel in episode 12. (The whole buying the Heart Burger back for Fadel?? The way it's done?? I could make a whole post about the way Style not only does it but does it RIGHT. *sobs*)

And on a similar vein, the way Fadel dismantles his own walls to let Style in is so fucking incredible. The way he does this in such an intentional way despite his own fears and past hurts when it comes to love. (Nope, still not shutting up about Fadel getting himself drunk to lay himself bare for Style. Sorry not sorry.) The way Fadel continues to be very upfront about where he's at with Style afterwards, the way he explicitly tells Style all his reservations and reasons for doubting Style once the truth is revealed. The way he so clearly wants Style to know the full extent of his darkness and depression and hopelessness, and hell the way he keeps trying to let Style go. Because love also means wanting better for the person you cherish and Fadel would rent his own heart to shreds again, would return to that darkness if that was what Style wanted.

Their love is so grounded and evidenced in real actions and sacrifice and care and it boggles the mind how anyone could think they don't love each other.

As characters, they truly, for me, stand out as one of the most intensely interesting and compelling relationships I've encountered in a while. They were intentionally designed to be difficult to come together, made to clash and rub up against each other and bring out the worse in each other; but in doing so, found honesty and truth and that makes their love all the more real to me.

As for JoongDunk's portrayal of these characters -- listen, there's always going to be differences in opinion and preferences, but here are my general thoughts:

There are some instances of Dunk as Style that didn't fully land for me (eg. the crying scene in the car bed cuz they tried to balance comedy and drama and succeeded at neither; or the kissing in episode 12 when Fadel and Style are in bed and Dunk for some bizarre reason maintains like a foot of distance between their bodies) but others that I think were fucking incredible (eg. Style pressing worshipful hands and kisses on Fadel's body in his bed in episode 5; the opening scene in episode 6 when Style looks up at Fadel with frank wonder and open invitation; the look of tragic acceptance as Style thinks he's saying goodbye to Fadel after the rock concert; the look of acceptance and understanding when Fadel turns away from Style's kiss in the bathtub scenes -- I could go on). I think Dunk was incredible when it came to the emotionally fraught moments with Fadel and his breakdown at the end of episode 11 was an undeniable example of how well he can communicate both the intense and subtle emotions of his characters. The comedy aspects were over the top and loud, but that was also an intentional character choice that I have no issues with and never did from the beginning. Style is who he is, unabashedly and without reservation, and I loved that from the beginning.

And I think the transformation Joong went through as Fadel was also very beautiful to watch. We are intentionally shown Fadel as being cold and clinical in the early parts of the show and then as each new aspect of his character is peeled back, Joong allows the softness inside to bleed into the way he holds Fadel too. The harshness comes back when Fadel finds out about Style's betrayal, but Joong changes how he portrays Fadel and allows the inner agony and vulnerability to bleed through like Fadel's facade is cracking. I said in another post after episode 9 that I'm so grateful that the show gave Fadel the space to journey into accepting Style back, and this still holds true even until episode 12. Joong was incredibly nuanced as Fadel and ALL OF IT was wrapped up in Style and how being loved by Style and loving him changes Fadel.

But am I surprised that not everyone sees this? Not really. Watching SIMM and then seeing all the hate and low ratings about it online has made me convinced that some people simply don't watch things the way I do and that's... disappointing but there's nothing I can do about it except write posts that hopefully resonate with other people so that I can, at the very least, gather the people who DO appreciate it and love them for what they are good at together into my little corner of the internet. <3

why u like fadelstyle so much? the show ended and i still don't feel like theres love between them, same with all jd couples they don't seem like a couple at all

oh man how to answer this in a way that will do fadelstyle justice? I think @secriden and @bentnotbroken1fanfiction have much better, very in depth analysis of them as a pair and their wonderful dynamic.

but for me personally? simply, it's a type of love that I'm looking for. my personality is very similar to fadel's, the way style always goes out of his way to understand him and push back against all of fadels attempts to push him away - it really warms my heart.

they see each other, do you understand? style guesses that fadel could be a hitman, even if it was just a joke - style always saw him for who fadel is and fadel has been in wanting for that devotion, fadel has been aching to just be held and be able to fall apart - when fadel goes to prison style keeps his dream alive. fadel finally found someone who can understand how much he's had to give, how much he's always had to put himself second, someone who appreciates fully when fadel does it for him - I think style is the only person who's ever even attempted to feel the extent of fadel's sacrifice let alone tell him that he's deserving of the same and then go out and do it.

joongdunk have so subliminally portrayed that growing trust between them, that lived through all of fadel's anger at being betrayed, all of style's fear of fadel's dangerous life. they've just done so well to show what it means to slowly make space for each other, to fall in love through a gradual understanding of each other, I really felt that no matter what happened between them no matter how angry they were or how much distance there was between them every episode fadel and style loved each other more than the last.

fadel and style's romance is one of my favorite couple dynamics period I'm sorry you didn't feel it and even though we are allowed to interpret shows differently and like different things its a pity that I have no way to make you experience the beauty with which they touched my heart.

[thestraybunny]

As long as I am with you||K.SY

Pairing: Choreographer!KwonSoonyoung x AFAB!reader WC: 8.5K Genre: Non-idol AU, Romance, established relationship Rating: M (18+, MDNI) Warning: Drinking, Smut, Fluff, Cute Hoshi, Cheesy Pet Names, funny, Sweet moment, oral (both receiving), protected sex, a little gagging, a little crushing between the thighs, cute, So in love it's stupid, dancing, snow, Hoshi just being amazingly adorable.

Summary: You two just fit together, six months together and you both are crazy for each other. Its the first snow, and Soonyoung wanted to share something special with you.

A/N: Part of my Seventeen K-Series and is written similar to Mingyu's. I had this idea since November, but didn't get to write this out until now. And really a week late too, but as I mentioned in my pinned post, I work full time and a mom. But it's finally out and I'm proud of it. I adore Hoshi, and wanted to write something cute for him but also something dirty. I think this is a good balance. *minors and no ages in bio will be blocked* Thank you to @gam3bo17 for beta reading and helping me with this.

Rules&Guidelines Series Masterlist Full Fic masterlist

When Soonyoung first started bringing you around, it was honestly a surprise to his friend group, treating your new presence like it was biggest event at the time. According to them all, mainly Seungkwan and Seokmin, he had been habitually single for a few years before you two had met. It wasn’t from the lack of trying on his part, he had protested, he was just shy around women. Especially romantically.

Though the two younger men, or anyone from the group for the matter, wouldn’t say it was completely that. He did well once he got to talking to them, able to get dates and even was able to get one to go home with him for the night sometimes. He was a great guy and treats the women he dates well, but they all chalked it up to his obsession with tigers since they couldn’t think of anything else. Or the belief that he is an actual tiger. While he said it was a joke, no one else was too convinced of this. Probably because they all had proof that would say otherwise too.

It tended to be the dealbreaker for many, but not you though.

It actually was something you found endearing, and it didn’t at all take from the sweet man that swept you off your feet. It just made you adore him more, and made you feel a little better about your own two little obsessions. Like your love of leopards and the color purple.

Ones he also found endearing, adorable, and didn’t stop him from becoming so enamored by you. Simply because Kwon Soonyoung adored you and everything about you.

You were his little leopard, as he was your tiger.

This relationship the balance you both needed.

“You two are so adorable, it’s sickening,” Wonwoo’s girlfriend spoke up, her words nothing but a sweet tease by her giggling, and nothing negative. She had been leaning against her boyfriend’s chest in their seats, watching at the two of you went off into your own little world for a moment. Giggling over something he had whispered in your ear, and kept sneaking kisses, as if you haven’t been sitting at a table full of other couples. Taking a sip of her water, she cast a glance toward her glasses wielding boyfriend. “Why aren’t we like that?”

“Anyone want another round of BBQ?” Wonwoo didn’t miss a beat, looking around the table of the remaining couples, playfully pushing her head to the side in the process. This earned a round of laughter, even from his girlfriend herself, and he made sure to kiss her on her temple. His way of showing public affection.

“They’re still in the honeymoon stage of their relationship.” Kaiya, Jihoon’s girlfriend, answered with a bored tone. Her attention was mainly on whatever she was doing on her phone, while Jihoon’s hand just rested on the back of her chair, with his attention actually on the group. “Just wait, they’ll be out of it in no time just like the rest of us.”

“We’re still very much in our honeymoon stage, trust me,” Wonwoo answered, everyone but Kaiya could see the sharp look he shot her, even though his voice didn’t give away his annoyance with her. His girlfriend nodded in agreement with him, “I’m just not the type that displays it publicly.”

“You guys are just as adorable,” You return her compliment with a smile, your hand reaching across the table to give her wrist a small squeeze. Choosing to ignore Kaiya’s cynical attitude. Your shoulder then shot up when Soonyoung had decided this was a good moment to nip at your ear with a growl. “Soonyoung!”

“Let’s get out of here,” He murmurs into your ear, maneuvering so he still was able to get to your ear to nip at it again. It was only loud enough so you could hear, “I wanna get you home and in bed.”

“We’re going to have to pass on that next round. I have an early morning, and I need my tiger to escort me safely,” You were the one to announce your departure, covering your mouth while feigning a yawn. Though it wasn’t very convincing since Soonyoung was eagerly poking you to leave quicker, giving away the real reason the two of you were leaving.

“I really hope that you both don’t actually roleplay as animals in the bedroom.” Mingyu said from behind his pint of beer, him and his own girlfriend sitting in a similar manner as Wonwoo and his.

“We wear costumes too. Wanna see mine sometime? It’s a tiger striped thong with ears.” Soonyoung shot back while the two of you stood to leave, putting on your jackets to face the cold air. You desperately shook your head toward the youngest of the couples. Refuting your boyfriend’s claim as his hand latched onto yours. You could feel your skin burning as there was a few chuckles over the table.

“I don’t need that visual,” Jihoon shook his head, closing his eyes to press his fingers into the corners.

“I can give you more than just a mental visual baby,” Soonyoung puckered his lips out in a kiss and wink toward his friend, and the shorter man made a gagging sound.

“You guys should stay a little longer, at least to see if those two finally kill each other or not,” Mingyu gestured his head toward a couple arguing on the other side of the restaurant window. Seungcheol and his fiancé had to excuse themselves and appeared to now be having an intense argument. Your table wasn’t that close to the window, so their raised voices only seemed to come through like mumbles. “It’s going to amaze me if they actually make it to their wedding day.”

“I am sure it’s just wedding planning stress. They’ll be fine after the wedding,” Gemma, Mingyu’s girlfriend, shrugged.

“If I didn’t know how shitty Meg and their relationship is, I would agree with you.” He argued, and then had a thoughtful look, “Maybe I should start taking bets.”

“We’ll be staying for another round, Woo.” Gemma chose to ignore the taller man, looking to their best friend.

“Excellent.” Wonwoo raised his hand to let someone know they wanted another round of meat and side dishes.

“If you are taking bets, let me know, I’ll throw in,” Soonyoung turning his attention to Jihoon, who had pulled out his phone to not take part in the current conversation, “We still on for the gym tomorrow afternoon, or should I text you in the morning?”

“I don’t know if I can. I got a last minute recording session with an artist, apparently tomorrow is the only day that works before he is back on tour. So I am not sure what time I will be done,” Jihoon gave his friend an apologetic smile, and Soonyoung gave a nod in understanding. He was in same business as his friend, just a choreographer instead of producer, so he understood the last minute scheduling all too well. “I’ll text you once I know more.”

“Doesn’t matter the time, just text me. If not, I can drag one of these guys to the gym with me.” You both were quick to give your last goodbyes before he was whisking you out of the restaurant and out into the cold November night. The sharp cold nearly took your breath away after being sitting in warmth for the last few hours.

On one side of the restaurant front, there was Seungcheol and his fiancé, Meg, still arguing. You didn’t bother listening into what they were saying since Soonyoung’s arm wrapped around your waist to pull you to his side. His warm lips pressing against your cheek.

“You guys heading out?” Seungcheol called out, ignoring the dirty look coming from Meg for cutting her off, his attention now on the two of you.

“Yeah, this pretty lady has an early morning, and I gotta make sure she is home and tucked safely into bed,” Soonyoung answered, not making any moves toward to oldest of his friend group for a hug. Not like he normally would, mostly out fear of Meg and her anger issues.

“Alright! You guys have a good night! Text me when you get home,” Seungcheol was able to wave before his attention was pulled back to the angry woman in front of him.

“Let’s get out of here before Meg has a reason to include us,” Soonyoung whispered, as if the wind was magically change directions and his words would filter toward the arguing couple, pulling you toward the small parking lot next to the restaurant.

“Okay,” You giggle, leaning into his thick jacket to bring a little extra warmth to you, while trying to readjust the scarf around your neck. Completely ready to get back to the warmth of your place and spend the rest of your night with just your boyfriend.

“Do you really have an early morning? You didn’t tell me you did,” Soonyoung asked, leading you right to his car, briefly removing his warmth from you to open the passenger door for you. The two of you had opted out of drinking that night, Soonyoung being the one driving and you just didn’t feel like it. Neither of you were really drinkers anyways, with you less then him, so it had been easy for you both to pass up the offer.

“Not that early of a morning, I don’t work until ten. I was just trying to not make it obvious the real reason we left, but you were making it obvious.” You tell him when he was in the driver’s seat, making sure that he saw the glint in your eyes and the way your tongue touched your bottom lip. Doing all this while saying with the very serious tone, “To get you in that tiger thong of yours.”

“Knew you couldn’t risk the tiger thong,” He laughed as you reached out to stroke his hair before running the tips of your fingers down his neck, “Maybe we can try that tail plug tonight too..”

“Not tonight,” You tell him, and a pout graced his features, “You know sitting here pouting like that prolongs us getting back to my apartment, and that also prolongs something very important.”

“What’s that?” Soonyoung asked with a little confusion, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“On how fast you can get me naked to fuck me,” You tell him like it was obvious, your attention now on taking off your gloves. When you looked at him again, the excited smile was so wide that you were sure every tooth was on display and his eyes seem to completely disappear cause of his cheeks. “While I am in love with that smile, you should stop because you need to see to drive.”

“You watch it. I am not above marking you where everyone can see.” He told you with a tease, trying to relax his cheeks. Even if you told him to stop smiling like that, you were disappointed to see it go away. He then makes a growling sound to back up his threat.

“You do that, and I will give your tiger plushie you leave at my house to Latte the next time I see her.” This earned a fake gasp from your boyfriend, turning on the car to get the heater going at least, and you burst out laughing.

“How dare you say something like that,” He whispered, his face was in another pout, but his tone showed he was holding back his own laughter. “My Latte would never do that to me, anyway. Nice try.”

“Wanna test the theory again?” You raised a brow, trying to put on your best try me face at the empty threat, but your own smile couldn’t be held back. It was impossible for you to not smile around him.

“Let’s go,” He reaches for your hand to kiss before letting it go to focus on driving, his smile not as big, but still very much present. Both of you fell into a comfortable silence during the drive, Soonyoung focusing on the road as you looked out the passenger side window. Taking in the buildings, cars, and people walking around as you pass by.

Every so often, Soonyoung’s hand would brush over your thigh before giving it an affectionate squeeze; mostly when he would stop at a light. Softly humming along to the song playing over the car speakers. You were starting to close your eyes for a moment when you caught a glimpse of something falling from the sky.

“It’s… it’s snowing,” You say out loud once you realized that it was in fact snowing.

“Holy shit, it is!” Soonyoung exclaimed, with sudden excitement to his voice and another wide smile started to spread across his face. You sit up in your seat, out of the slouched position you found yourself in, to get a better look out your window to admire the snow.

Not taking notice that he had changed directions, driving toward a new destination, but became very aware of the way that one of his hands had reached out to grab yours to hold. His palm warm against your own. It wasn’t until the scenery started change, the familiar buildings that lead to your apartment changed for ones that were more spaced out, that you realized he was driving somewhere else.

Soon the buildings were gone, giving way to small fields and clusters of trees before you turned your attention toward Soonyoung.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere that I been wanting to show you, but was waiting for the right moment,” He confessed, giving you an apologetic glance, “I know I am springing this on you, but this was the moment I was waiting for.”

“For it to snow?” You ask, and he nods. You had started dating earlier that year, just hitting six months earlier that month, so this was your first winter together. And that made this your first snow together.

“Yup!” He confirmed, pulling off the main road and onto a small dirt road that lead to a secluded clearing that overlooked part of Seoul. Where he had parked his car, it gave you a perfect view of the city below you.

“Wow…��� You gasped, looking out over the lit city as the snow started to fall heavier as Soonyoung was quick to cut the engine. Undoing his seatbelt, he then reached for yours to undo it as well.

“Come on,” He orders you, opening his door to get out while you turn to give him a look of surprise.

“Wait, we’re getting out of the car?”

“Duh, that’s why I said come on,” It was his turn to roll his eyes, getting out of the car. Before you knew it, he had made his way around the front of his car to open the door for you. With an outreached hand, he offers you another dazzlingly wide smile, “Come on my sweet little leopard, humor your tiger.”

You didn’t need him to call you by your little nickname, you were going to get out of the car anyways, but it still filled you with a giddy feeling. Slipping from the car, you made sure your beanie (purple and leopard printed) was pulled comfortably over your ears for warmth. Pulling your thick jacket tighter around you, you looked up toward the sky to watch the snow falling from it.

Slowly closing your eyes, feeling the cold flakes hit your still warm skin from the car heater, not noticing that Soonyoung was just watching you. His phone out to open his music app but instead switching to his camera so he didn’t lost his moment before him. You all bundled up, the snow falling gently onto your face, and it was more breathtaking to him then the city being covered with the first snow.

Something he never wanted to forget.

“Come on, let’s dance,” He then said, turning on a song to play, and this was when you finally opened your eyes. You watch with a little confusion as he slips his phone into a shallow pocket, the speaker sticking out, and a melody of a song started to fill the snowy air.

With a small bow Soonyoung stretched out his gloved covered hand for you to take. This movement made you made you giggle before taking his hand again.

You were then pulled into his arms, Soonyoung making the first few moves a little exaggerated, twirling you around and dipping you dramatically, before moving to a slow waltz. One hand resting firmly at the small of your back while the other kept holding onto your hand tight, his eyes gazing into yours. There was no words exchanged between either of you, he just lead the dance, and you followed his lead. He was the expert after all, and you were lucky that you could put two steps together.

If felt like a scene right out of a romance.

The song changed, still keeping to the soft slow melody to continue your slow waltz, your body flushed against as he kept you in his arms. Neither of your gazes breaking from the other, and you ignored the way your finger started to get cold, since you didn’t think to grab your own gloves. You didn’t want to stop dancing, you didn’t want him to stop looking at you like you were the answer to everything he was looking for and more.

“Where did you find this place?” You were the first to break the quiet moment, cutting through the music but not unwelcoming. It brought a soft breathy laugh from him.

“I had just caught my last girlfriend cheating on me, idiot left her phone open and to his messages. It was like a punch to the gut, but instead of sending the SOS to the group chat, I just drove around. I wasn’t ready to face them, because I felt embarrassed.” He started breaking his gaze up to the sky, the snow now hitting his face. “I found it when I needed to pull off somewhere just to scream. I was filled with so much frustration, but being out here, it was like…it was healing.

I ignored all calls from the guys, turned off my location, and sat out here for hours. Eventually I had to go back because Kwan threatened to use Hansol’s drone to find me. I didn’t want them to find this place, it kind of felt like my own hidden paradise. Where I can go and escape to just enjoy the silence and the beauty.”

“Your last girlfriend was three years ago?” You mused, the words meaning to be more of an inner thought that left your lips instead. That had been the last relationship he had been in, and not from the lack of trying on his part. He had his share of one night stands, maybe dated someone for a few weeks but would fizzled out before a title could be put on it. You had been the first one since that had stuck around.

“Yeah…”

“I’m surprise you were able to keep this to yourself that long.”

“Hey, I can keep a secret. I’m keeping what’s going on with Magnetic a secret. Chan has been up my ass for the details.” He retorts back, a fake look of offence playing over his face, making you giggle more. You didn’t have the heart to tell him that the Magnetic thing wasn’t a good example, since you knew about it too. “I thought about showing it to one of the guys. Any of them would appreciate this view, but I wanted to share it with someone special. At first, it was to show myself that I was over her and with someone new who wouldn’t hurt me like that, but then the reason changed. It went from wanting to show I’m over her to…”

“Let that someone special in on something that means something to you.” You finish his statement for him, and he nods. You then leaned in to kiss him. “Something that’s special to you.”

“I wanted to bring you sooner, but it wasn’t the right time.” He whispered, capturing your lips again in another kiss, slow and sweet before finally pulling back. His face and ears turning red from the cold.

“What’s better than the first snow of the season.” You thoughtfully, and he nods. “And the dancing?”

“Another thing I imagined doing here, not necessarily in the snow. It’s just a paid actor really.”

“A paid actor, huh?” Raising a brow at him.

“Totally. I just had to sacrifice Kwan and Chan at payment. It was hard but for you, it had to be done.”

“I think you got away cheap,” You both stopped dancing as laughter started to take over, Soonyoung pulling you into a tight hug in the process. “You think we can take a small pause on dancing so I can grab my gloves? My hands feel like they are about to fall off they’re so cold.”

“Oh, shit, of course.”

After you grab your gloves, Soonyoung spends a few minutes pressing your hands between his gloved ones to help warm them up some before you slipped the gloves on. He had given you an apologetic look, but you waved him off with a kiss. Not wanting him to fuss over you anymore.

Your gloves were barely on when he was sweeping you back into his arms to continue to dance, even with the snow falling thicker onto the ground. Your feet leaving imprints as you move. Your breath coming out in small clouds, and neither of you were exactly dressed for snow, your skin pricking from the cold. Neither of you seemed to care though, lost in laughing and talking softly with each other as you continued to dance.

“Soonyoung,” You voiced after you both slipped back into another comfortable silence, the soft melodies of the music now the only thing you can hear. Truthfully, you didn’t know how long you were out there, but the snow was finally started to get you.

“Yeah?” He responded, leaning his forehead against yours.

“I’m freezing,” That was all you needed to tell him, and Soonyoung had pulled back to look at you. Nodding in agreement, he caught your lips into one more slow kiss. Both your lips cold, near freezing, but you felt instant warmth spreading through as they moved against each other.

“Let’s get you out of the cold then.” Pulling you toward the car, Soonyoung opened the passenger door for you before rushing around to the driver’s side to get the vehicle turned on. Hot air blasted through the vents as you both shivered, both of you a lot colder than you thought. “Maybe we should have dressed better.”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly expecting it to snow tonight, or that we were going to take a detour out here. I think it’s my lack of having foresight that’s to be blamed.” You tease shivering, as he leans over to brush the snow off your beanie.

“Damn, you need to get on that. Can’t catch you lacking.” He laughs, though his face did look a little guilty. “Maybe I should have planned better.”

“I don’t know if this is something that can really be planned.” You shrug.

“I actually could have been prepared, because unlike you, I actually check the weather. I just didn’t know it would snow sooner than they predicted.”

“Now it’s you who is lacking.”

“You watch it, little leopard.” He warns you, and you stick your tongue out at him. This made him lunge playfully across the center console to pull you as close as he could. The console stopping him from just pulling you into his lap.

“No, you watch it.” You smile before connecting your lips with his for one more kiss, this one deeper, “But in all seriousness, thank you for showing me this place or that you feel I am special enough to show me it.”

“You’ve been special since day one.” The comment made your heart swell and flutter, feeling truth behind his words that was backed up by one last kiss. A long lingering one that left you breathless and wanting him to kiss you again like that. “Let’s get you home and all warmed up.”

The drive back to your apartment was not as silent as the trip to his secret spot, both of you just finding yourself creating chatter over different topics. Some that you talk about all the time, some topics that were randomly thought of, and Soonyoung was even making sure you were still wanting him to stay or not. He was able to pick up from the way you sleepily stared at the window that you were growing tired.

“Even if I am tired, what makes you think that I wouldn’t want you to stay with me?” You asked him, which earned a chuckle and a nod, “Cuddling my body pillow is great and all, or even TamTam, but I much rather be cuddling into my boyfriend instead.”

“Okay, Okay, I get it.” He shot you a quick smile, this time his hand reaching across the console to take yours and didn’t let go until you were at your apartment, and you refused to climb over the console, so you didn’t have to let go. Nor did you let him either. It didn’t take long until you were in your small one bedroom apartment, and he was fussing over you. “Are you still cold? Would a nice warm shower help?”

“I am fine,” You roll your tired eyes, removing your scarf and jacket on the coat rack, and kicked off your snow covered shoes, with Soonyoung following suit. “I am not as cold as I was earlier, and the heater is on. Let’s just get ready for bed.”

It wasn’t long after the two of you started dating that Soonyoung had his own drawer and a toothbrush in your bathroom, so he didn’t have to worry about wearing the same thing the next day or needing to remember an overnight bag. The same had gone for you at his place, you had a drawer and a toothbrush. Not enough to be like you were moving in, neither of you nowhere near that, but enough that if neither of you wanted to go home, there was a change of clothes and at least a toothbrush.  

The original idea of getting to your place was now just a thought in the back of both your minds, both tired and focused on getting changed and into the warmth of your bed.

“Mine,” Soonyoung announced to no one as soon as you slid under the blankets, his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you against his body, burying his face between your shirt covered breast; throwing a leg over you as well to latch onto you like a koala. Making sure you weren’t moving. “All mine.”

“Me or my breast?” You laugh when he starts to make a motorboat sound into them, though it was muffled from your shirt.

“All mine,” He repeated, looking up from your breasts with furrowed brows and a small pout. Sitting up onto his side, he leans forward to kiss the top of your head before trailing kisses down your body, “From head to…”

“I swear Soonyoung if you try to kiss my toes,” You start to laugh when he reaches your waist, not caring that he was kissing more clothes then your skin. Popping his head up, he gave you a teasing smirk with his dark eyes shining with mischief. “Soonyoung…”

He didn’t do what you thought though, which was grab your ankle to act like he was going to kiss your toes, instead he moved to kiss your lips instead. His mouth warm pressed against yours with a cool hand touching your cheek, already starting to warm against your skin. Heat starting to spread like a wildfire over your body, his hand tilting your head to have better access of your mouth, your body remembering that you were wanting him to not just sleep next to you. You wanted him to do so much more, leave you panting and desperate for more. Both of you whining for more.

“All mine,” He repeated with a growl, the words muffled and nearly lost in your mouth, adjusting so you were now under him. His hips slotted against your thighs, while his other hand held him up.

“Only yours.” You whimper when he moved to pepper your jawline and neck with kisses, your hips pushing up against his. His cock already hard and pressing against the fabric of his underwear and sweats, begging to be freed. Your own hands now moving over his back, pulling at his shirt to reveal the body that was underneath so you could trace the clear cut muscles over his torso. To trace each dip, follow the familiar paths the tips of your fingers had visited so many times in the last six months. “Only mine.”

“Say it again.” The groan that left his lips was music to your ears, desperate and needy for not just your body but your words. You both gluttons for these words of claim, words that always lead to you both tangled up somehow. “Please, say it again.”

“Only mine,” You have no issue telling him that again, and it only lead him to capture your lips in a near bruising kiss. The warm pajamas you were wearing were no longer on you, tossed over your boyfriends shoulder with his mouth leaving faint red bite marks over your body.

“We need to stop wearing clothes to bed,” He complained, after your underwear were gone and so was his shirt. Even with the heat going, there was still a small chill through the apartment making him shiver and leaving goosebumps over both your skin. Reminding him why you were clothed in the first place. “Fuck, it’s cold.”

“That’s why,” You giggle at him before that giggle turned into a loud moan, Soonyoung not wasting time to find his place between your thighs. His tongue already dipping into your soaked folds to taste you, leaving your whole body buzzing. Your hands reached for his hair, your eyes already rolling back when a finger joined the way his tongue teased you. His middle finger teasing your entrance while his tongue rolled over your clit. The deep groans leaving him at your taste vibrating against you. “Soon…”

“Hmmm,” was the only sound you would get from him as a response, the middle finger that was teasing you dipping in, your inner walls clenching around it eagerly. This reaction from you earned a second finger quickly, his middle and ring finger now moving inside you while his tongue started to expertly work your needy cunt.

Your hands were in fists in his hair, your eyes slightly rolling, mouth falling open with a waterfall of whimpers, moans, and sighs. Body already burning up from desire and pleasure, with the knot starting to tighten deep in your core. Each flick of his tongue, each gentle suck, each curl of his fingers to hit the sensitive nerves, and the hungry sounds that were sending extra vibrations through you all brought you closer to your first release.

“Soon…Soonyoung… I…please…” You didn’t know why you were asking for his permission to cum, knowing full well by the way he was enthusiastically licking up your arousal that was seeping out quicker from his fingers fucking into you that you didn’t need to. He wanted it, he was working to bring it out of you. Needing to watch you come apart from just this before, before doing it all over again with his cock.

Soonyoung didn’t bother answering you, knowing perfectly well that you were just speaking nonsense at how quick he had gotten you to the edge. Instead his small sharp eyes shines when his mouth latched over your clit, suckling at it as his fingers moved so quickly that you could hear the echoes of the wetness that surrounded them. Your legs that were bent at the knee, with your feet planted on the mattress were now wrapped around his head. Your thighs pressing his head between them, pushing his face more into your cunt almost suffocatingly.

Through your heavy lids, you could see the way his eyes rolled at the feeling of your thighs against his head, the suckling starting to become harder sucks, and it was enough to cause explosions behind your eyes. The knot that was rapidly tightening snapped, and your vision almost went white. Your legs shaking and squeezing his head, all while the he lapped up your gushing release as much as he could. Not caring that he could suffocate from this, instead moaning and pushing for another orgasm with his mouth.

“Too much, too much!” You gasped out, your legs untangling from around him and your hands pulling at his hair to detach his mouth from you. You had it in you for another orgasm before he fucked you, but it didn’t stop your body from becoming almost too sensitive. Also you didn’t want to be the only one to have something before that. Knowing full well he was rutting against the mattress as desperately as his hands and mouth moved.

This earned a whine from Soonyoung, who was still working his fingers inside you even if his mouth wasn’t on you. Your inner muscles clenching around the slick digits.

“But you taste so good, my little leopard. I can eat you all night and be satisfied.” He told you trying to move to run his tongue over you, but your hold was firm. “Come on, you can cum again. Let me make you cum.”

“You can make me cum again on your cock, right now I need you down my throat.” You managed to pant out, and it was almost comical how fast he was pushing his pajamas and boxers down; the fabric now resting at his knees. Freeing his already hard aching cock, thick, heavy, and already dripping. Ready for your eager mouth, and soon your cunt.

Just the sight of him sent another wave arousal through you and wanted to just pounce on him. His blonde hair sticking up in several directions and mused from your fingers, with his skin flushed from the heat radiating off you both and the cool air of the bedroom. Dark eyes blown out and black, with nearly his entire bottom half of his face shining from your release, his beautiful plump bottom lip between his teeth. His body was something of another world. Muscles cut annoyingly perfect, defined showing off the hours he spent dancing and at the gym with one of his friends. Muscles that gave you a perfect map to trace with your fingertips and tongue to where you want to go. Even after a night full of BBQ didn’t take away from the perfectly sculpted frame.

Kwon Soonyoung was built like the Greek Gods wished they were.

You made quick movements, sitting up and moving so you were resting on your own knees, unable to stop yourself from pulling him into a kiss. Tasting you off his lips and leaving a faint layer over your own, teasing each other’s tongues. He pulls you closer to him, pressing your naked body against his, one arm around your waist while the other gripping the back of your hair.

“You are so fucking perfect,” His voice was soft when you separated, and it caused you to faulter your quick decision to start trailing your lips down his throat. He has told you this so many times, but this time it felt different, laced with deeper meanings than ever before. Neither of you had actually said those words yet, neither of you ready to say them, but it was clear that you were in love. You both may be gluttons for words, some words were not ready to be uttered, but that didn’t mean that the feeling wasn’t there.

The words will come in time, and that moment will be worth the wait.

“I think it’s you who’s the perfect one.” You challenge back, your voice just as soft, your hands were still trailing down his body to grasp his cock. Earning a soft hiss from him at your touch. “Perfect for me.”

“And you are for me,” He breathes out, your hand providing a few soft gentle jerks before returning to your original task. Your mouth trailing over his skin with ease, leaving similar marks like he had done to you and tongue trailing the dips between his muscles. Soft sounds coming from him, until he watched as your ass lifted slightly so you could lean forward.

He resting on his knees on the bed, and you resting low on one arm, so you were level to his cock. It was rock hard under your touch, twitching and tip leaking. With a ginger flick of your tongue, you also didn’t waste any time taking his tip into your mouth. Tasting him with eyes flashing up toward his face; meeting his eyes. He was fighting the urge to drop his head back at the sensation of your mouth, but he kept his gaze trained on you. The hand that was originally gripping your hair back to holding it tight in his fist. The angle you had him at giving him a way to fuck down your throat with a simple thrust forward.

Soonyoung doesn’t do that either, able to fight that urge as well, but his hand didn’t let go of you. It stayed firm while you moved your mouth over his length, taking more of him with every movement. You tongue pressed up against the underneath of his cock, against a sensitive vein of his, stroking what you didn’t take yet.

“Yes, baby, yes. Fuck. You look so pretty like that,” Words were falling from his lips with every moan, both hands now holding your hair back, his hips jutting forward. Nose nearly pressed against his abdomen, gagging slightly.

Dropping your hand to his thigh, you hollow your cheeks to give a generous suck, and it earned a whole string of curses from Soonyoung. Then you relaxed your jaw and throat, your eyes shining with a silent begging and letting him know that he had full control over how he used your mouth. The groan that left his mouth sounded more like a growl when the realization hit, finally dropping his head back for a moment.

When he looked back at you, his bottom lip between his teeth, keeping you in place with his hold Soonyoung thrusted forward in. Pushing him as far down your throat as he could go, your nose pressed against his body, cutting off your air. He pulls your head back the same time he does his hips, letting you take a few breaths before returning his cock down your throat.

Using your throat as his own personal toy, Soonyoung watched with a glazed expression the way your drool started to drip from the corners of your mouth. Coating you both with it, and the way your lids were fluttering gave away that you were not just enjoying him fucking your throat but that you had also snaked one of your hands between your thighs to touch yourself. The sight was enough to make him want to coat your throat with his cum.

“I need to fuck you, or I am cumming down your throat.” Soonyoung panted out with one more thrust to your throat before releasing his hold on you, taking in how you were looking to him. Resting on your arm with your ass in the air, perfect for him to slip behind and fuck you senseless. Or push you flat onto the bed and take you that way. His mind racing in all the positions he could throw you in as he got off the bed to retrieve the condom and finish removing his pants while he made his decision. With the foil package in his hand, Soonyoung pushed away the pillows to climb onto the bed behind you. “Move a little forward.”

You did as you were told, moving your body so you were where he wanted you, but went to move to lift your upper body when you felt his hand press against you back. Stopping you from moving, and you just rested your cheek against your bedsheet. You could hear the foil tearing from behind you, and he made quick movements to slip the condom over his cock. It was disappointing to say the least, but he was going to be deep in you no matter what, and it wasn’t going to take away from how good he fucked you.

His hands then moved to run up your thighs and over your ass, gripping at the meaty muscles, and you were expecting to feel the head of his cock pressing against your ready hole but instead you felt the flat of his tongue. Leaving you suddenly gasping, his tongue dipping into you from this angle only briefly, because if he didn’t, he would keep going until you were trembling again.

“So pretty,” He started repeating, having straightened up to position himself. The thick head of his cock slipping between your folds, before pushing forward. Stretching you in a tantalizing way, keeping hold of your hips to stop you from pushing back eagerly to pull him in further. Taking his time to bottom himself out, making sure you feel every inch of him.

“Soonyoung… please…” There was a whine to your voice, not wanting him to take his time, needing him to completely fill you with him.

“Please, what?” He urged, stopping only halfway in, his grip on your hips only tightening to keep you still when you started trying to wiggle your hips back.

“Don’t tease me please…” You whisper out, your knuckles going white as you clung to your sheets, suddenly being full of him. Normally he would tease more, but he had also found himself impatient to be in you. With his hips flushed against you, he leaned his chest against your back.

“Is this what you wanted?” Soonyoung’s tone was a breathless husk, grinding his hips into you as a moan left his own lips. One that was almost louder than you, you nod against the bed turning your head enough to be able to catch him watching you. “Is it? Or is it this?”

You barely were able to register him pulling out of you before his hips were snapping forward, nearly flattening you against the mattress, but one of his arms had wrapped around your waist to keep you up. You mouth fell open to moans and cries with each thrust into you, maneuvering just right to find the bundle of nerves. The fabric of the sheets rough against your sensitive nipples, sending more jolts through you.

Soonyoung’s forehead pressed between your shoulder blades, his breathing coming out in pants and loud moans of his own. The only other sounds other than your voices is the sound of skin hitting skin and the lewd sounds coming from it.

“Made just for me,” He panted into your skin, feeling his teeth starting to graze your skin. “Mine. All mine.”

“Only yours,” It was the first words you managed to get out since he stopped teasing you, your voice hoarse and gasping. Your eyes slightly rolled, and a hand found its way into your hair. Controlling how he turned your head when he pulled it back, so you were looking at him.

Skin flushed and wet from sweat, his eyes completely black and blown out, and hair a complete mess. With his lips looking inviting and you wanted to press yours against them. Letting his mouth swallow your breathless gasps and yours swallow his throaty moans. It would be enough to push the pressure building inside you closer to snapping, muscles clenching greedily with each of his thrusts.

“That’s right,” Instead of catching your mouth, he pressed a kiss against your jaw, relishing the heat radiating off your skin and how close he could see your fucked out face with each of his thrusts. “Mine and only mine. Like I am only yours.”

“Fuck…” You gasp out, the words did what that kiss you wanted did, and more. Catapulting you off the edge, with your body shaking from the pressure bursting. Inner walls spasming and clenching around him, and your legs shaking. There was his own string of curses that fell from his lips, and you suddenly felt empty as he removes himself from your body. Leaving you to wither in this orgasm without him, but not for long.

Soonyoung rolled you over onto your back, finding his place back between your legs. Pushing his cock back into you, groaning how even though your muscles grasp tight around him, but slid in with so much ease. Your body snug around him like a glove. With his knees bent and pressing against your hips, your legs moving to wrap around his waist, Soonyoung rested his upper half on his forearms. Now hovering over you to take the way you looked better, to take in the way your body couldn’t stop shaking from the orgasm he pulled from you. Or the way your eyes fluttered and your mouth begging to be kissed by his.

Which he couldn’t resist doing, your lips just as addicting as every part of you. Still slightly swollen and a tongue that he loved to tease with his own. Swallowing any sounds that left your lips. Your body hot and covered in a sheen of sweat, mixing with his own, as your bodies moved and pressed up against each other. The new angle had it so he could get deeper, the soundless gasps and moans starting to turn into higher pitch whines, another orgasm quickly washing over you.

Each muscle tense, locking your legs around him by your ankles, arms around him so you were clinging to him. Every moan and high pitch whine mixed and lost with his own, and you could tell by the way his thrusts were started to become a little sloppy, and harder into you, that he was close. That he was trying to hold back, long enough to maybe pull another one, but he wasn’t going to last that long. He was too close to his own release to hold back any longer.

“Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,” Soonyoung started repeating, between pressing his forehead against yours and kissing you. “Cumming…”

“Soonyoung,” You whimper his name, over stimulation started to set in when he hips falter. Coating the inside of the condom with stripes of his cum. You both stayed there, allowing him time to empty himself and you stop spasming. Soonyoung wouldn’t stop placing soft kisses over your skin, making sure not leaving a single spot on your face untouched by his lips. With eyes shut, you relish in the feel of his body still pressing against you and the way his lips brushed over your sweat soaked skin. Then he runs the flat of his tongue over your temple causing you to smack his arm. “Soonyoung!”

His laughter rang through the bedroom, pulling himself from your swollen and well fucked cunt to discard the condom and get you both cleaned up. He tries to insist to let him clean you up, but you also needed to pee, so you waved off this offer. The two of you both cleaned up together, changing into a fresh pair of clothes, and after sex munchies started to set in.

“I’m hunnngggrrryyyy,” Soonyoung’s whine made your eyes roll, dropping the ramen into the pot before moving to cut the extra ingredients to add to it. Were you really going through this trouble at near two thirty in the morning to make him a nice meal after fucking you into the mattress? Yes, because he deserved it, and he would do the same in a heart beat.

“Gotta let it cook first.” You tell him before letting out a small squeal when you feel his arms snake around your waist and his mouth pressing against right behind your ear. You started squirming when he nuzzled his nose into your skin. “Kwon Soonyoung, you were the one who wanted this and now you aren’t going to let me cook?”

“I want to kiss on you more instead,” He murmured against your skin, pushing back the strands that were trying to fall back into place.

“Then you shouldn’t have asked for this,” You tell him, when his hand reaches out and stops you from cutting up pieces of kimchi to add to the ramen. He gently nudges the knife free to drop onto the cutting board, to turn you toward him. Not giving a single shit that your hands were covered in the red.

“You are just as hungry as I am,” He retorts, his hands grasping the counter sides, pinning you between him and the counter. You go to roll your eyes when you stop at the sudden serious look on his face.

“What?”

“I love you.” It was like time stopped and you stared at him, trying to read anywhere on his beautiful features that he wasn’t being serious.

There was a rush through you, a mixture of emotions. Shock, excitement, worry, but most of all love for him that took over everything else. You thought he was going to wait longer, that he wasn’t ready to utter the words that you both obviously felt, but here he was telling you with no issue. With so much seriousness, to make sure what you didn’t think he was trying to be silly or funny.

Kwon Soonyoung never has, would never, or will ever joke about those feelings for you. He loved you more than the phrase could justify, and he couldn’t hold it any longer. Especially after that night.

“I love you,” Soonyoung repeated, your name falling from his lips after, making sure the words sunk in. Allowing you the time to process his words. But what he wasn’t expecting was you to fling yourself at him, your arms wrapping around his neck and your lips smashed against his. He was quick to melt into your kiss, his hands resting on your hips.

“I love you, too.” You tell him breaking away from his kiss to say it, “I love you.”

It took everything in you to pull away from your boyfriend after that, to finish making food, which proved difficult with him clinging to your back, kissing your neck and repeating those three words in your ear. Neither of you able to stop smiling as you giggled and fed each other ramen, not able to go to sleep until the sun started to peak over the horizon.

These two will be back! You'll see them in the other fics, and I have another fic planned for him. I hope you enjoyed!

[squiddy-god]

omggg just saw your blog post and i loved that Denji x male reader fic! I am in full belief of him being a bisexual disaster

if your up for it i’d love a pt.2 to that story where Denji finally gets with male reader and it’s just really fluffy? like reader laughing at his goofy ass and teaching him how to be in a loving and healthy relationship

id really appreciate it dude since there ain’t many male reader fics out there 💀 anyways even if u don’t do the request i hope ur having a great day man!!

Hehehe yes i absolutely can, as always i'm a firm bi denji truther and frankly we need more male reader fics for him. Bi Denji analysis PowerPoint soon 🙏 Cw ; none, fluff, denji x male reader, canon typical illusions to violence and suggestive nature just because of how chainsaw man is

A week. It has been a week since you last herd from denji. Well saying “last heard from” isn't right when it's closer to “last watched him flee my apartment”. However thankfully you had received a text from the dork in question asking you to meet him at a cafe. That's where you are now, going to said cafe to meet up with denji for whatever it is he called you for, probably to hand out. 

However when you finally come into view you notice that the man in front of you is not slouching casually as per usual. Red cheeks and a shy averted gaze “that's what guys like right?” he thinks to himself. His cheeks are puffed out slightly almost like he's pouting. His hand scratching the back of his neck he looks up at you and nearly chokes on words even he doesn't know. 

“So…did you just want to hang out?” 

Denjis eyes widen and he fumbles around your question a bit. “Nah it's not like that I just…” his hands twitch, clenching and unclenching nervously. Twitching forward and twitching back as if apprehensive to reach forward. “I dunno” he's cute when he pouts like that. Sharp teeth worrying his lower lip and cheek out of nervous habit. “Maybe it could be like a date” 

“Do you want it to be a date?” How cruel of you, teasing the poor guy when it is oh so painfully obvious he wants it to be a date. Painfully obvious he wants to hold your hand. “Yes…maybe” he's taken to shoving both hands into the worn out pockets of his jacket. Deciding against torturing Denji any longer you take his hand in yours, it's rough, with a bit of scar tissue over his knuckles and palm. For a guy so seemingly obsessed with touching boobs just holding your hand is enough to nearly kill him. “Can i- like talk to you” it takes a small reassuring nod before tugging you off on a little walk. A long stretch of silence hangs between the two of you before Denji speaks again. “I'm sorry i ran out the other day, that wasn't very cool” 

“That's fine, I mean I was just getting out of the shower” you laugh, fully prepared to brush it off. It didn't mean anything, denji calling this hangout a date probably didn't mean anything either… you shouldn't get any hopes up. “I think im gay” 

You nearly choke on air, tripping as you fumble to snap your head towards denji as if he called you a slur personally. “Or like kinda gay you know…i think i still like boobs and shit but, man seeing you like that” he leans back, eyes glued to some very interesting clouds as he tried to play it off like a casual admission and not the nuclear bombshell it was. “So you think you're bi? Something else??” Denji nods, taking in your face and reaction. You don't look mad- that's good, but you also don't look like you realised what he said. The gears in your head work overtime as you rethink what he said again and again until it clicks. “I MADE YOU BI!? Or well like realizing your bi? Holy shit-” you crouch down by where the edge of the sidewalk meets the slope of the bank before the small patch of sand. Your hands are clasped in prayer hoping that whatever bisexuality devil is looking out for you has got your back, that denji is about to ask what you think he is going to ask. 

“Common dont make me say it if you already know” he whines. 

“But i wanna hear you say it pleaseeee” you shoot him your best wet puppy eyes but really that is denjis strong suit. “Ugh fine.” he's looking away from you, cheeks puffed out slightly as he stills his rapidly beating heart. “I maybe wanna be your boyfriend” and before he knows it you are pumping your fist in the air excitedly. “YES. YES, WIN- HAHAH!” 

At least you grab his hand again, leaning your head sweetly on his shoulder. He almost forgets to breathe. He'd suffocate if it meant you didn't let go. It felt right, like a little piece of normalcy he didn't even know he could hope for.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I'm sorry, but why don't we talk about Witch Hunt more? Seriously, I think it might be my favorite DAO DLC. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the hell out of Awakening. Leliana's Song is good. The Golems of Amgarrak is... eh, bad. I didn't really like that one. The Warden's Keep, The Stone Prisoner, and Return to Ostagar are all amazing and I love them.

But Witch Hunt??? Y'all. I can't. I'm too emotional right now.

I have at least one dynamic from each game that I'm obsessed with. For DAO, it's the dynamic between romanced!Alistair, Tabris, and Morrigan. I've talked before about the dark ritual and stuff in this post, so let's just say that my Tabris, Rose, very much has unfinished business and a score to settle with Morrigan.

Tabris and Morrigan grew so close throughout the entire journey of DAO, y'know? Close enough that Morrigan claimed she thought of her as a sister, and Tabris felt the same way... and then in one single moment, it's just shattered.

There were signs that Tabris ignored, like the way Morrigan dismissed all the circle mages and claimed they should be left to their fates since they "allow themselves to be caged like cattle." Or how she disapproved every time Tabris wanted to help those down on their luck. Or, worst of all, when Morrigan disapproved when Tabris chose to kill the Tevinter slaver instead of making a deal with him to use the lives of the remaining elves to grant her more power... one of those caged elves being Tabris' father.

But she gave Morrigan the benefit of the doubt; she's sheltered and only had Flemeth as an influence and teacher, of course she's unempathetic and selfish, but there is good in Morrigan's heart. She can learn to be more empathetic and to care for others.

At least, Tabris believed that until Morrigan confessed that she's known about the ultimate sacrifice and the dark ritual from the beginning, that Flemeth sent her with the wardens with a purpose that Morrigan intends to follow through with. It's devastating and it broke Tabris' heart.

She just learned that a warden has to die to stop the blight, and that warden could be her or Alistair. Not only are they romantically involved, but they've been through all of this shit together, they're the only ones who fully understand what being a grey warden is like. They carry the burden on their shoulders, and they're probably going to lose each other to the archdemon.

And Morrigan waits until she's at her most vulnerable to ask that of her.

Again, I've gone into more detail about that before, but at this point Rose is done with people deceiving her. She's done with Morrigan... except she's not. It's the betrayal and knowing Morrigan got what she wanted that causes Rose to go searching for her.

To Morrigan's credit, she does give some answers. She claims she didn't thing the archdemon would show itself so soon, and she did what she had to because she didn't wish to see Tabris hurt or die. I believe her, and to an extent, Tabris believes her... but Morrigan still doesn't get WHY it's a betrayal.

Morrigan's right: She will never understand Tabris, and Tabris will never understand her. She can insist it's not a betrayal all she wants, but it absolutely is, and Tabris has never allowed anyone who crossed her to just walk away... except for Morrigan.

Until now.

Hearing that Morrigan manipulated her way into the trust of this Dalish clan so she could steal their book and run is just further evidence in Tabris' eye that she hasn't changed. Maybe it was always foolish to believe she could.

So... she stabbed Morrigan.

She didn't do it to kill her; Morrigan is the daughter of Flemeth and a powerful mage with healing magic, a mere stab isn't going to kill her.

No, it's about what the stab represents: "I am done with you."

And how the scene plays out? It's so dramatic and good, just the way everything slows down, the music, how they make eye contact as the stabbing happens just....

I know it sounds really bad, and this is the part where I remind everyone that I ADORE Morrigan, but the stabbing ending is so satisfying from a story-telling standpoint for my playthrough.

It's so tragic and it hurts and I hate it.... but I love it, y'know?

I love Witch Hunt, like I haven't even talked about Ariane and Finn, or how the circle just has all these books on Dalish artifacts and translations of elvhen, or how other eluvians can be found with a shard from the broken one in the dalish origin.... like you're telling me that Merrill had a piece of the puzzle? If she had the knowledge, she could've found a working eluvian to study?? I'm going to gnaw my own leg off--

Listen, I could gush about this all day.

But now that I've completely finished DAO, it's time to replay DA2.

[dxckgrxsonx]

Sunnie!!! 🥰 thank you so much my love!!

I’m obsessed with your writing and with how well you just get Jason!!!! Do you have any recs for Dick? I feel like he’s sometimes so tricky to get right and I haven’t found a lot of writers who write for him!

ooooh good question, i don't read for dick as much as i do for jason so i feel like my idea of him is still pretty flexible. i have a couple of fics that i do really like, i hope you enjoy them as much as i did!

@pluvialpoet's how to disappear was one of the first dick fics i ever read and she really sold me on him with this fic, which is strange because it's an exes fic

@dxckgrxsonx has a beautiful fic, your love is a riptide, which is one of my favourite hurt/comfort fics

@chaibarbie wrote the blue that lingers, a lovely, poetic fic about what it's like to be in love with dick grayson

and @batchilla's currently writing you know i know right, a fun case fic with plenty of identity shenanigans that still manages moments of angst

[mistyscenter]

I have been a hater lately so I'm changing that up.

I have my grievances with Baxter dlc, I admit, but I don't hate it I think it's wasted potential which is unfortunate because Baxter is an extremely interesting character.

He's out of place in the our life universe because of how messy he is, the OL universe is very idealistic so Baxter is the more down to earth character that we have in a realistic sense.

I genuinely feel like in order to appreciate Baxter as a character you have to appreciate the absolute mess that he is, not only as a character but as a dlc as well, because again my issues with his dlc is that is a hot mess and it doesn't even know what it wants to do, especially with the lack of choice on the players part. Something that is especially clear in his step 4 and I do genuinely think his step 4 is the whole reason why this dlc left me unsatisfied, because step 3 was such an amazing build up.

We get to know him and how he is as a person, how he constantly feels like he has to put this charming mask and being embarrassed of his more human side, that's one of the reasons why drinks is one of my favorite moments, and we also get to see that due of this façade he feels the need to keep his relationships at an arm distance, hence why he cut out everyone from golden grove, and also why I adore planning. So when the break up happens is both heartbreaking but somehow foreshadowed, and that is so interesting to see on a writing stand point because we knew that he would cut us off, now we just know why.

And then....step 4 comes in ...and...

It is just, it's really messy, especially because Baxter in the wedding dlc was willing to start over so... seeing him ignore mc and projecting what he thinks mc thinks of him was, so disappointing.

This whole dlc is just so disappointing to me because the hype was there!! We had an extremely interesting character that cuts you off, that you can break up with, you can have legit drama in this except....no you don't. Because mc has little to no agency In his dlc, because Kab didn't finish writing this and had someone else finishing it for her, because he feels off as an our life character since he was originally an xoxo droplet character, and also because conflict in our life is always kinda awkward .

I think another reason why step 4 didn't work, is because it's clearly meant to be played as a romantic route when the game advertises itself as being able to do both, but you can't in his dlc and worse of all you guys can't leave each other as just acquaintances. I get that Is the game mechanic but I also think Baxter should have been the exception because he's not ready to be in a romantic relationship.

I played my first run on a romantic relationship and it felt odd, it felt fast, with cove and derek is easier because you've known them for years, you've known Baxter for 3 months after he breaks your heart and he hasn't changed a bit on how his ways.

And again is just really really disappointing because Baxter is such an interesting character to analyze because he's an absolute loser who thinks he's punk but he's not, and who clearly has issues but doesn't know how to handle them AND THEN YOU SEE THE FANDOM NOT SEEING THE ABSOLUTE MESS THAT HE IS AS A CHARACTER AND JUST MAKES HIM THIS DOM DADDY PERSONALITY, and it's so disheartening because I remember when the dlc first dropped everyone was making fun of him, then something changed and suddenly everyone praises his mediocre ass, not for being mediocre but because everyone thinks he's hot and is just 😟

I hate it because writing his dynamic with Pandora and Taliyah (my mcs hi) is so so interesting and makes me explore more things about their personalities, so I just hate that the canon is the way that it is when I know Kab can write good shit and this...felt kinda mid

[angst-is-love-angst-is-life]

“You know what’s going to be great detective? After I beat Barry in the race and prove that I’m the fastest man alive on any Earth, he’s gonna rot in a cage just like the one Jay’s in now.”

I have not gone a day in my life since hearing this line without thinking about it.

The CW wrote this and expected me to NOT fixate on it till the end of time??

[todayisafridaynight]

I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

[discoreptile]

Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!

[nejackdaw]

Now That You've Lost Tomorrow (is yesterday still a friend?)

4.2k words of the Celann backstory in my head

Under the cut for length; not NSFW. Also leave my Jimminy Cricket ass alone, I was thinking about Disney narrators when I started this lmao. It wasn't supposed to be an actual piece send help

Ahem. (Tw animal death) (tw gore) [Minor edits made 8/28/24 and 12/27/24 (spelling)]

Born in the Northmoor of Breton High Rock, Celann aged to be a fine man. With a lively, happy home, he was a handsome, good natured jokester with a penchant for bringing smiles wherever he went. Be it through mischief at home, exaggerated peacocking (resulting in clumsy accidents) in front of his beloved fiancee, charitable work through the town, or the song on his lips, he was an easygoing presence that had endeared himself to the people around him. Life was good and grand: he had an easy, do nothing guard job in a happy little town to bring in coin, plans to settle down and start a family, and wanted for nothing between it all. But things started to change when his elder sister prepared to set off on her apprenticeship–dark winds blew in that he, that none of them, would ever recover from.

It was an adjustment for everyone with Jehanne recently absent; she'd been gone only a week, but the absence of fabric scraps and 'come look at this for me's, the messily kept tomes and quills that dripped ink, the prospect of not hearing another "you're being ridiculous, it's been weeks! Come join us for dinner!" and her high pitched, victorious cackles as she raced away, knowing she'd magically cleared up everyone's schedules by asking–she'd only been gone a week, but it felt an awfully lot longer than that. Celann kept up with his guard work in her absence and Charlotte, ever interested in his sister's seamstress and design work, had taken up the hobby when she wasn't keeping the ledger at Garnier's, insisting someone had to be leaving fabric in a house somewhere in Jehanne's absence–to balance things out, obviously, as all good magic is supposed to be.

Time passed this way for another week or so as everyone tried to reassure themselves that everything was fine; it was a large change, but they'd known for months, and they'll settle into this new normal soon and everything would be fine. But suddenly news came whispering through the streets of strange shadows passing by windows at night, shadows with no one to cast them, and soon enough the guards were being asked to look out for missing pets, small cats and birds that must have gotten loose.

Small cats and birds that were found far from their homes and butchered, torn apart but not eaten.

An uneasiness settled over the town as more and more of the creatures turned up, and "killer" was on everyone's lips. After a few weeks of disappearances and gory resurfaces, they began tapering off until they stopped entirely. Like any predator: from small prey to large–the guards instructed woodsmen and hunters, trappers and fur traders to keep an eye out in the woods for anything that didn't look like an animal had gotten to it first. It took only two days after the order was given for a horrified hunter to return with news of a torn, gaunt elk carcass, black with rot around the edges of the worst wounds. Next it was a boar, then a doe–then nothing once again.

Celann was tasked with joining patrols, increased in the wake of the animal attacks until investigators, who so far had found no leads towards what everyone assumed to be a fledgling serial killer, could find some hint as to what had been happening. Everyone waited anxiously for the inevitable first victim.

It came only a month after the shadow appeared.

Following loud, panicked shouts, Celann stumbled into an alleyway to find something hardly recognizable as human. It was pale, even for a corpse, and gaunt like the beasts had been–ripped apart and stained black at the edges, wounds rotting prematurely. He covered his mouth and looked away as he desperately fought against the thick, burning bile at the back of his throat, side stepping into a puddle of dried blood to let a more senior guard pass by.

When everything had been documented, after the corpse had been covered and the area sealed off–more for the townspeople's sake than the scene's–and they were given permission to leave, Celann headed immediately to the blacksmith, grateful for the harsh, painful way the smell and smoke of the forge cleaned the blood and rot from his lungs. He left with three sturdy daggers, weapons he grimly pressed into his family's hands as he made them swear to carry it with them. The protests died on all their lips when they saw the fear in his eyes, each taking it with the same gravity Celann presented it with and solemnly promising they would.

After only three days, there was another disappearance; another corpse, butchered and rotting unnaturally. He'd never possessed the same gift for magic most of his people did, but Celann knew enough–knew to fear the third and what it would bring, because there was no way this terror was only a man and threes were either a blessing or a curse. In the end, it was both.

When he stumbled on the third victim, it hardly occured to him that the man had anything at all to do with the last horrifying, supernatural month. He wasn't torn open like everything before, the ground wasn't coated in blood and viscera. He looked almost like someone who'd been lucky and gone in his sleep somehow–but when Celann knelt down to check if he was alive, he startled to see familiar jewelry and recognized the gaunt corpse of the book seller from around the block. His wedding band sat at an angle around a finger too small for the old, tarnished metal, and when Celann reached for his wrist to get a better look he touched something slimy and cold.

He distantly registered someone from the patrol calling out his name as he stared down at the red on his fingers, a steadily growing urge filling him with every beat of his heart to smear it off on the rough stones beneath him until his own blood ran hot and quick and erased the feeling forever. He clenched his fist instead–looked over at the boots beside him and pretended he hadn't just terrified himself as a second guard knelt with him to inspect the body.

It was Simon who found the most important thing the body had to tell them; Celann was busy wiping the blood off on his trousers and trying to get his mind working right again. A frantic tap on his shoulder got his attention and he looked up into Simon's wide, terrified eyes before slowly turning his head to see what he'd found. The gloved hand gripping the corpse's jaw slowly retreated, shaking, and Celann looked down to see two frighteningly neat holes at the side of the neck.

They shared a long, quiet look before Celann reached out again for the merchant's hand, praying desperately he didn't dig his fingers into disgustingly smooth, exposed flesh again as he avoided gripping the wrist to turn it around. Torn and bloodied, but the black edges were smaller this time. Cleaner, neater, less noticable.

They raced away burdened with news of a vampire preying on the town, searching desperately for the commander and whatever investigators they could find.

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The city was placed under curfew immediately after the news arrived, and patrols were focused for the dark and evening hours. Everyone was required inside and with at least one companion; a vampire could easily overpower a pair, but the hope was that, with no lone targets, it would resent the effort it would take to target anyone else. Guards were similarly paired and ordered not to stray from one another–the only souls out in the night needed to be vigilant. Celann thought about the daggers he'd bought his family, thought about Charlotte taking Jehanne's room at home without him there in the night to share their bed. He wondered what good those knives would be, what good his sword would do him, if the beast got insistent.

Heavy tension hung over the town for weeks after the news arrived. Curtains were drawn and lights were left burning outside as people hoped the creature would pass them by. Every sound was investigated.

After a week, after two, after a month… there was nothing. No pets, no woodland beasts, no disappearances.

The dread started to lighten as time passed, and after four weeks of no new attacks, the townsfolk had, to a degree, returned to life as normal. They were still sure to make it home before night properly fell, still kept a light on, but as the days went by there seemed to be a collective feeling that it had all been a nightmare, some trick of Vaermina.

Celann noted three absences with every pass through the town.

Nightmares didn't claim lives, and he worried at how quickly everyone let themselves believe any danger had passed. The bookshop was closed for a week, what with the owner being dead; he and Lotte liked to buy each other occasional gifts from there, and the darkness in the windows–always warmly lit and welcoming before–never failed to stir a sense of dread in him.

But then a second month was passing without any sort of attack, patrols returned to normal, and even Celann let himself relax. With how often the beast had attacked before, there was no way it would sit and wait for months. The town had been on alert and anything it would have hunted locked inside, but even the forests nearby had been spared. It had surely moved on at this point to easier prey, or either fled in order to avoid detection, he reasoned.

That reasoning was why he accepted the promotion offered to him: an easy, quiet job out at the watchtower, not too far from town and coming with a pay increase; he'd be replacing someone who quit, understandably, in light of the vampire attacks while they had been happening. The new station was a bit of a trek from the gates, at the edge of the forest, but the road was usually quiet enough and the pay was enticing so he agreed. Fresh air, new faces–it sounded like a nice change of scenery, anyway.

It took a few mornings–early, dark, quiet–to adjust to all the rustling, and Perrette teased him for it, but they got on well and she explained their duties simply and easily. They arrive at midnight and they're relieved around breakfast, and spend their downtime chatting or pretending they weren't falling back asleep. Celann never bothered her when she did, and she returned the favor when he was half asleep, half awake, never quite able to properly sleep in the tower.

It was early, a week or so after he'd started, and he was tired; he'd been resting with his head pillowed on his arms at his desk, lost in that dark, semi conscious haze. There wasn't anyone out at this hour, with the moon still so high, and he paid no mind when he hadn't heard Perrette for what should have been a suspiciously long time. She was probably playing cards and he was just resting, after all, not falling asleep like his coworker did. If anything popped up they could handle it.

Just resting is why one eye opened blearily at a sound outside, a sound Celann had only half heard and had already forgotten by the time he was looking at candlelit paperwork. He kept it open a bit longer, listening for any other sounds, then let his eyes close again, shifting in his seat to get comfortable. Nothing, just the dark and the quiet–but as the seconds passed something settled heavy in his chest, had suspicion creeping into his head, and he sat up to look around.

Nothing. Just the dark and the quiet. He slowly stood from his chair and breathed deep, waking himself up as he glanced around the inside of the watchtower. Perrette wasn't at the window, there was no humming or the sound of cards, like he'd expected. The deck was, however, still out on the windowsill, game partially through, and when he moved closer he spotted a few that had blown outside. A familiar dread settled over him as he looked down at them, caught in flower stems and other growth that kept them from blowing farther away.

The moon was still high. Perrette was not here. She was not with the cards she carried in a little box as a gift from her lover, hand drawn with curling letters on the back. It was quiet. It was… unnaturally still, Celann realized. He stared out through the window at the road as his hand moved to the hilt of his sword. He listened. Something moved in the undergrowth behind the station and he quietly crept his way to the–open–back door.

A black hare greeted him at the threshold, a bloody, mangled carcass with its white ribs exposed to the moonlight. The smell of rot hit him and his face twisted; his sword scraped against the sheath as he drew it.

Vampire.

Celann didn't know where Perrette was, what had happened to her, but he doubted the beast would leave a display if it wasn't waiting. It hadn't left. He stared out into the woods and swallowed, listening and hearing nothing. Nothing. His heart beat a terrified rhythm behind his ribs as he stepped outside, stepping carefully over the carcass and into the night, heading hesitantly for the woodline.

He'd hardly stepped through, heel snapping dead leaves and trampling plants–sound, something BURSTING forward, a scream–

He managed to put an arm between them, elbow digging into their chest, pain, hot, claws and yellow eyes. His heel slid back in the dirt as the creature strained against him, screaming and snarling and gnashing bloody teeth inches from his face. The hot smell of blood and decay hit him in the face and suddenly there was a fist in his hair, pulling painfully and jerking his head to the side–it vanished as soon as it appeared and Celann watched the vampire stumble back, face twisted in betrayal.

His own twisted to mirror it as he stared at the disfigured visage of his sister.

Jehanne.

She was clutching one of her hands as if injured, and he noticed a small, circular brand pressed into the heel of her palm. The shape of his earring, a small piece of silver resting by his jaw.

Those two moments stretched into forever then minutes suddenly blurred–claws, pain, BEGGING, being thrown, his shoulders slamming into a tree.

Celann blinked blood from his eyes and raised himself onto a shaking arm, catching his breath as he reached for his sword. He noticed she'd torn through his sleeves; the cloth was dark and sticky with blood, and he could feel the edge of his mouth throbbing, the skin around his lips torn open with a nasty downward swing of her claws. Jehanne was pacing agitatedly, glaring down at him and spitting to herself as he pushed himself to sit in the undergrowth. His head was throbbing dizzyingly, shoulders on fire from the impact, and he could feel something hot and wet snaking its way through the short hairs at the back of his neck.

Celann staggered to his feet, leaning against the tree for support, and let out a shuddering breath as he held his sword in front of him. Trying to evaluate.

She wasn't uninjured herself, not that it did him any good; he'd mangled one of her wrists and she'd still thrown him like a doll. He'd cut and sliced and stabbed and she was standing all the same, and they shared a mutual look of despair. Some mix of emotions flashed across her face, faintly illuminated by what moonlight breached the canopy, bright eyes wide as her lips were parting and she was clawing at her face, fangs glistening, then– "But we're family!" she wailed

The world went quiet.

Realization hit him, then. Cold blood. The world became the woman in front of him. He couldn't let her leave. Horror. Couldn't let her live. Agony. She'd kill them all. Kill her first.

He wondered how many times his sister must have crept past their windows, how many nights she must have watched him from the forest. Family. She'd kill him if it meant turning him, kill them all if he couldn't stop her.

Jehanne took a step forward and spread her arms invitingly, one wrist hanging at a sickening angle. Another step when he didn't immediately move, a sweet smile on her face, then lunged–steel and blood and pain and screams. He couldn't hesitate, couldn't go easy anymore. Blood flew from his blade as he drove it into her heart–vampires need to be stabbed in the heart–once, twice, a third time. He staggered back and tensed, waiting for her to somehow still be moving, dizzy with blood loss and buzzing with adrenaline.

He distantly watched her head slump against the ground, face half pressed into the dirt; glowing yellow eyes went dim and returned to a familiar brown. He watched, paradoxically, as she regained some color, despite being dead. Dead. He looked at glassy eyes and felt far away. Trees and green growth and blood splatters came back into view, but it was someone else's view, someone else's eyes. They laughed, whoever it was, desperate and manic, and dropped his sword as he stared at his sister's corpse. Something was screaming about it, somewhere inside him, but it was far away and muffled, a mile away.

Celann stumbled on suddenly weak legs towards the nearest tree and let himself collapse to the ground against it, staring at her face until it blurred. Everything blended together, and all he knew was that he was cold. He distantly remembered he was bleeding, but the thought vanished almost instantly into the gentle fog that was clouding his mind. He shivered, he thinks, and then thinks nothing else as he sits on the forest floor beneath the moon for hours.

He doesn't register Perrette stumbling out of the watchtower, only partially realizing she was yelling at him at all, even as she knelt beside him. He came back to himself when someone was snapping incessantly in his face, when irritation managed to stir him into some faint awareness. Simon was kneeling in front of him, eyes wide with fear as he gestured at the people around him. They descended upon him, quiet and gentle as they hauled him to his feet, and as he was half dragged, half helped back to town, all Celann really noticed was that it was morning. The sky was a pale, misty yellow–sunrise. Morning. The night was over. The night was over but he would live with what happened in the dark forever.

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He had nightmares every time he managed to fall asleep, shepherded into the temple to be healed and watched over. Breathing was difficult and he assumed he was dying; he was only a little concerned at how okay with that he was. A stranger visited him on the third day after the Incident and the priestesses allowed her to feed him something from a vial, some liquid miracle that ended the worst of the night terrors and let him breathe easy.

There had been a newly made vampire den nearby, she explained when he woke again, and Jehanne had likely been taken the day she stepped out onto the road. Her voice was factual as she informed the temple they'd all been taken care of, but there was sympathy on her face as she looked down at the shadows under his half vacant eyes. She hunted vampires–and other daedra–she'd said as she left; there was something he didn't like in her tone, something knowing, as she closed the door behind her and told him she'd be staying in town for a month or two.

He was sent back home later that afternoon, back to he and Charlotte's house, but everything felt… strange. He felt like he was intruding on his own space, in his own house, in his own bed. Lotte was being patient, but the pain in her eyes when she looked at him sent a spike through his heart. Blood. Breaking bones. He supposed he deserved it after what he'd done, though even he could tell she very genuinely didn't think less of him for it. But she handled him gently and he missed her smiles, missed making her laugh. That solemn look didn't belong in her eyes.

His parents visited twice, to make sure he was healing alright, but there was a distance between them that had never been there. They'd raised Jehanne for 26 years, their daughter, you killed our daughter, what kind of man kills his own sister? It was never said, of course, but he could see it in the tension on their faces and the stiff way they held themselves near him.

They declined both times to stay for dinner.

Celann couldn't move on. His family thought he was a murderer, his fiancee was no longer living with the man she'd gotten engaged to. Something in bim broke when he thought about it, that they were supposed to be married in a few months. He'd been over the moon about it, wouldn't stop talking about it to anyone who listened, even if they weren't really, but the hush that had fallen over the house as Charlotte gave him the space he'd started needing felt like an ill omen.

Two months passed of feeling like an outsider in his own life and he was saying goodbye to her. She refused to break off their engagement, said he felt guilty and was being stupid, and as he tried to promise not to darken her door again she told him for better or for worse came before the wedding vows and if he didn't at least write to her on his trip with this mystery woman she'd find him and drag him back home like a runaway boy.

It… hadn't been what he'd planned on. He hadn't planned on returning or writing at all, had planned on removing himself entirely, no longer the man she'd intended to marry and pained at how she was caring for him. He hadn't told her about meeting the woman from the temple, either–but people talked and Lotte was good at listening, and he wasn't as surprised as he could have been. He had mixed feelings about the indefinite engagement, but if it was what she wanted he'd let her have it, like she was letting him leave because he needed to. They looked after each other like that.

Perrette, on her part, when he found her at breakfast, immediately told him through a mouthful of jam and toast where the woman from the temple was before standing and pulling him into a hug. She pressed a small wooden box and a dagger into his hands before wishing him well and telling him to hurry, because the stranger had been packing her things last she saw and getting ready to leave.

It turns out she had left, hours ago, but Celann found her waiting expectantly outside the gate just off the road. She was sitting with her own breakfast with a second placement set up for him, and he once again didn't like the knowing look in her eyes as he sat down. She explained, eventually, that she was with the Vigil of Stendarr, and had been sent with two others to investigate rumors of vampires in the area. Jehanne had been an opportune victim, out alone on the road so early in the morning; the vampire had been trying to start a clan and needed bodies to fill the seats.

He'd almost been one of them. It was a matter of hours, apparently.

Again, she assured him they were all dead and asked if he intended to join her and her companions on the road–if he had seen what chaos and danger creatures like vampires pose and wanted to take up arms against them. He didn't answer, and she didn't demand he give one; they ate together in silence again and she didn't comment on the way he'd glance back at the gate every now and then. The guard on duty would give a little wave each time, a sad look on his face, and so Celann looked less and less until he didn't look again at all. He was leaving, after all; something deep in him was different, had shaken him out of the life he'd had, and he was moving on. There wasn't room for whatever he was in the space he'd made for himself anymore.

A few nights later he would untie the ribbon around that little box Perrette had given him, far away from town, and open it to find a clumsily hand drawn set of cards with little messages penned in her handwriting on the back. He turned the fool around to see a scribbled portrait of himself amongst the scrawled decoration; the back of every queen was a rough sketch of Charlotte. He put them gently back in the box, retied the ribbon, and ignored the look Freyja gave him as he slipped it back into his bag.

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, again, without a body next to him.

"For those who cherish memories of loved ones, their compassion often conceals the beast. Our compassion compels us to destroy it."