#I now realize the difficulties I had in understanding a thing beforehand

[sugarlywhispers]

b.katsuki + doctor!wife saves his life

☆— fem reader, ANGST, fluff, swearing, descriptions of blood and medical procedures.

☆— a/n; i wrote this a while ago, and i apologize beforehand for any mistakes. i'm not a doctor.🙃

☆—context; reader and bakugou have an arranged marriage. reader is quirkless, but her parents aren't. a business made by his parents and hers made them end up married. bakugou and reader have hated each other since they met; however, lately they had improved their relationship a lot by this moment.

☆—context2; let's pretend for the sake of this fic that morphine and nitroglycerin don't work well together, and it's deadly when combined. you'll understand why in a bit. *wink wink*

"Miss Y/L/N, you are needed in the ER urgently. Please, direct yourself here. I repeat, Miss Y/L/N…"

You looked up from the wound you were checking on one of your patients in the ICU to the speakers of the hospital. The voice even sounded urgent, which was kind of unsettling and strange; however your movements didn't hurry. You realized the severity of the call when one of your colleagues entered the room and urged you to hurry and go while she would take your place in caring for the patient you were currently with.

And it felt like a bucket of cold water when you saw Uraraka standing at the door of that room, looking all beaten and tears streaming down her face.

Oh, no.

The only reason she would be here looking like that was because of a fight that ended badly with some villain, like any other hero would likely be there, at the hospital for. However, the fact that she was there, looking for you specifically…

It only meant one thing.

Bakugou.

The next thing you knew is that you're running. The voice of your boss in the very back of your mind nagging at you, "do not run in the hospital!"; but you couldn't care less. Especially not now. You could also hear Uraraka running behind you too with some difficulty; and you felt a bit bad about that. She was also hurt and you should have attended to her wounds, yet he was the only thing you had a mind to care for at the moment.

When you entered the ER, it was chaos. Pro heroes, injured all around the place; even Izuku was sitting on a gurney, a nurse stitching a new open wound in his right arm, face bloody and bruised, dirt all over him. Kaminari was laying on the one next to him, also bruised and passed out.

As your eyes traveled throughout the whole place, you realized every Pro Hero you knew was there, everyone who had belonged to Class A especially. But you couldn't find Bakugou.

All the air in the room felt scarce when you saw Kirishima move around and discuss something with a doctor in one of the private rooms.

Oh, fucking no…

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as you directed yourself there, the beatings of your heart deafening you almost completely, your attention solely in that room where you knew for sure Bakugou was in.

When Kirishima saw you entering the room, he immediately stood close to you, his face also bruised and bloody and dirty, eyes full of tears that fell through his cheeks. He grabbed you by your shoulders and begged you to do something. But your eyes didn't leave the man, your man, laying there, unconscious, blood that slided from his head towards his face; one of his eyes was bloody and swollen and his left shoulder was dislocated. You could hear the bone going back to its place when another specialist put it back.

But your attention was on the monitor, where it showed his vitals getting lower and lower. Another doctor was doing CPR on him, which meant his heart was giving up.

"Y/N, please…"

Kiri's voice sounded very far away, when you could still feel him right in front of you, his hands starting to shake your whole body.

"Please, Y/N, do something!"

The movement of a doctor that suddenly held a syringe close to Bakugou and Kirishima's yell brought you back to your senses.

"DO NOT FUCKING MOVE!" You exclaimed, realizing what all of that scenario was about.

They were about to put Bakugou in a medical coma; and Kirishima and you knew what that meant. Morphine. They were about to inject morphine on a body that mostly had nitroglycerin inside. They were about to kill Pro Hero Dynamight, a.k.a. Bakugou Katsuki, a.k.a. your husband.

Kirishima sighed deeply, relief kicking inside his body as he cried, while everyone froze looking at you surprised. You immediately moved next to Bakugou as you checked on his vitals, your doctor skills possessing your body as you tended to him fast and meticulously and scolded at the same time at the other doctors for not realizing sooner their mistake that almost took your husband's life.

"But, if we can't put morphine on him, how do we take care of him?" You want to swear from there to hell at that doctor. He was obviously new, but he was asking what probably everyone was wondering. And you couldn't blame him for that.

Your mind started to run at two hundred miles per hour, trying, begging for it to find a solution.

Nothing.

"Y/N…" Kirishima called, still crying.

Nothing.

Your eyes filled with tears, so you closed them.

"Y/N," he called you again.

Nothing.

The air that went inside your lungs started to burn, and the exhale hurt your chest heavily.

"Y/N!"

"Shut up!" You yelled back.

All the blood in your body rushed to your chest and head, a pounding pain annoying your process of thinking. You hated-...

You opened your eyes suddenly. 

The blood.

"Blood," you whispered. "He needs a blood transfusion, NOW!"

"Y/N, we don't have his blood type available…"

"What?!" It's both yours and Kirishima's yell, at the same time.

"Fuck," you finally cursed.

And then it enlightened you.

"Connect me," you said as you moved, putting tubes and cables around you and Katsuki. Another doctor asked what you are talking about, "I have the same blood type. Connect me to him, that way his blood renews constantly as you heal him. It will help him stay."

Your relationship with Bakugou was complicated; hell, complicated didn't even hold the entirety of what it was. Having had an arranged marriage, hating each other's guts since the very first day you met, really didn't help you two get along well.

But he kept his promise to protect you, to provide for you. To be there for you, always.

Every day, he woke up first and always left you breakfast ready for when you finally got up, sometimes lunch too; he would always send a text message during the day reminding you to eat, to take a break here and there–in his own way, of course, full of swears and contemptuously.

You never backed away though, you always answered something annoying back that surely started another fight, another discussion between you too.

However, it didn't matter the fight, or what was said in that fight, Bakugou would always stay.

He would always lay in bed next to you at night; if the fight heated up too much, he would go on a run to cool himself down, but he would always come back home.

He would always stay next to you.

Kirishima was asked to leave the room as everyone started moving around you and his best friend, he saw as a cable connected directly your blood with his. He didn't really know what that meant, but he knew something. No matter how much you two fought, or how different you two were…

You loved him.

And he knew Katsuki loved you.

Even when none of you had admitted it yet.

But everything was confirmed to him when he heard you whisper at Bakugou, "Stay, please stay."

.

Bakugou Katsuki felt as if a brick wall fell onto him. And that was a new experience. He had been thrown at walls and through walls, but never one fell over him.

And it fucking sucked.

The white hospital lights hurt his eyes when he tried to open them, and there came all the other feelings. His left shoulder burned and felt tight–it didn't take him much to understand that it probably had been dislocated and the tightness probably came from bands that held it so any kind of movement wouldn't interrupt the process of healing. His legs felt like gum, like even if he tried to move them, the heaviness wouldn't allow it; but they were there, he could feel them, so that was good. His chest though…

It felt so heavy, probably if he paid enough attention he would be able to see the beatings of his heart through the scarred skin. He wanted to grunt annoyed at everything.

He then realized that among all the cables and tubes that were connected to him, there was one that made him feel a bit tingly, because he could feel whatever was that they were injecting him.

He fought against his eyelids until he could open them, and he wasn't expecting what his eyes found–well, one of them, because the other one was so swollen he could barely open it.

You were resting on a big reclining chair next to his bed with a hospital duvet over your body as you slept, a frown in your eyebrows showing how stressed you actually were. He had seen that frown before, sometimes at night when you went to sleep, when you both were laying on your sides but in front of each other, in the bed you shared. He would never fucking admit it out loud, but he sometimes would massage lightly in between your eyebrows until the muscles finally relaxed while you slept. Your face was laying uncomfortably to a side that made Bakugou think that position would probably make your neck hurt once you woke up.

And then he saw it.

The duvet was covering all your body, in exception to one arm that was over it, showing a small tube that clearly connected your blood with his. That's where the tingly came from.

Oh, fuck.

"Oh, you're awake, man," Kirishima's voice distracted him for a moment. He turned his head towards his best friend, who looked as shitty as himself.

Kirishima smiled at him, a whole bunch of emotion written all over his face.

"Fuck," was Bakugou's first word, with a raspy voice that didn't sound like his own, "Was it that bad?"

"You almost died," his best friend's voice cracked a bit, trying to hold back his emotion. "If it hadn't been for Y/N's quick thinking, you would have died. Doctors were about to put morphine on you…"

"Shit," Bakugou let his head fall back, realizing how badly everything could have gone.

"You had internal bleeding, a lung filled with liquid, and several broken bones, you were even bleeding from your head," Kirishima started as Bakugou kept swearing out loud, "When they said they needed to put morphine, I tried to warn them, but they kept dismissing me. Damn, I'm no doctor, but I know stuff!" The red head protested, which made Bakugou smile a bit. "I tried to gain some time as Uraraka ran for Y/N. When she came, obviously they did pay attention to her. She's… really good at this."

They both looked at you as you slept. Your eyebrows were still frowning, but Bakugou could listen to your deep breathing even in that distance. That eased him a bit.

Then his eyes went to the tube again and the anger started to fill his body.

"Why is she connected to me?" He asked, trying to make his raspy voice sound firm.

Kirishima sighed. "There was no other way. They needed to operate, and they didn't have your blood type available at the moment," Bakugou scoffed, hating everything and all you had to do for him. Kirishima laid closer to his face, ready to scold him for his stubbornness, "Your heart was slowing down, you fucking idiot."

That did surprise Bakugou; Kirishima never cursed at anyone. And when the blond found his friend's eyes, they were filled with tears.

"I-I'm fine…" Bakugou reassured him, clearly not knowing what else to do or say at his best friend's deep emotion.

Fuck, he had nearly fucking died.

"Yeah, and that's thanks to her," Kirishima pointed at you, "So be nice," he warned before backing away and taking a deep breath.

Bakugou looked back at you. This couldn't be real. You had to know, right?

"Does she know?"

"Know what?" Kirishima asked as he stretched his big and long arms over his head.

Bakugou looked back at him, "What this fucking means, Eijirou."

Kirishima frowned, now a bit worried, "I don't know, she didn't mention anything. Is it something bad?"

The blond closed his eyes, his right hand closing in a fist, jaw tight. When he was about to answer, a sweet and delicate voice coming out of a sleep state made him open his eyes and look directly in your direction.

"It simply means we are sharing blood," you said, stirring a bit in your chair, opening your eyes and finding deep red ones almost killing you with their gaze.

"Simply?" Bakugou mocked, shaking his head.

"That's what you said," Kiri looked suspicious at you, arms crossing over his chest.

"And I'm not lying or doing anything illegal," you defended yourself as two Pro Heroes looked at you with their Pro Hero scolding eyes.

"We know, but you're hiding information, I can see it clearly now," Kirishima protested, his voice still as gentle as always.

Your fingers started fidgeting with each other,  obviously nervous. For some reason, Kiri's gentle tone was more effective than Bakugou's murdering glare.

Your husband suddenly realized something and snorted, "You didn't tell anyone?"

"There's nothing to tell."

"Yes, there fucking is!"

"No, there isn't!"

"Y/N! For fucks sake-..."

"Shut up, Bakugou!"

"I won't fucking shut up! You are telling them now-..."

"There's nothing to tell, Katsuki!"

"OKAY, ENOUGH!" Eijirou's scream startled both of you. "You both clear this up and tell me right now what you are talking about."

"Eijirou, we are sharing blood!" Bakugou looked like he was about to tear the hair out of his head.

The red head looked at his friends for a moment, back and forth, trying to connect what that meant. And then it clicked.

You two were sharing blood. You were receiving Bakugou's blood as much as he was receiving yours. Which meant…

Your body was currently receiving high doses of pure nitroglycerin through the blood.

"Oh, shit, Y/N!" Kirishima was instantly by your side, "You have to take that off, now!"

"No!" You said pushing him away as he tried to move the tube.

"Fucking yes, you are!" Bakugou protested, trying to sit a bit straighter.

"No, don't move, Bakugou! And stop touching me, Eijirou!" Everyone stopped when you stood up and they looked at your small but firm form standing with authority, "I have been doing this for the past three days you were unconscious, and I'll do it until the doctor says it is enough." You said, tone firm and final as you looked at Bakugou.

"Y/N, you don't fucking have a Quirk," he spat, yet you could see a tiny bit of light in his eyes that begged you to stop doing it.

"And I don't fucking need one to know when enough is enough."

"That's why you have been taking breaks," Kirishima suddenly realized.

"Yes," you admitted, eyes still locked in a fight with Bakugou's. "I take breaks of thirty minutes in between two and three hours," your tone, Kirishima could only describe it as trying to reassure Bakugou that you were fine. But his friend was stubborn.

"It's not enough, and you fucking know it, Y/N!" He protested again.

"I can do this, I'm not weak, Katsuki!"

Kirishima took several steps back as he saw his friend's eye twitch when you called him by his name. It was a clear intimate discussion between a husband and a wife now. He really tried to avoid smiling, but he couldn't, so he simply left the room, leaving this complicated couple to resolve this on their own.

"You. Do. Not. Have. A. Quirk." He repeated, his hand grabbing your wrist, gently, despite the heated discussion you were having.

"And I don't need one for this!" If he was stubborn, you doubled it.

"Y/N! You are not feeling it now, but you will later! And I can't-..."

"You can't what, Bakugou?!"

"LOOK AT ME! I can barely move, and I won't be able to take care of you when the nitroglycerin kicks in!"

"I don't need you to take care of me! I am taking care of you! Besides, a bit of vomiting didn't kill anyone…"

"FUCK, Y/N! You know shit! You don't know how badly this fucking Quirk hurt when I was a kid!" He admitted in a yell, his only eye open now clearly begging you, as the thumb of the hand that was holding your wrist caressed the back of your hand. He always did that, even though his voice and words were rough, his touch was always gentle, careful.

"Katsuki," your hand went to his cheek, holding it with all the gentleness you had. He couldn't avoid the sigh, the relief he felt when your touch finally made any contact with him. He didn't know how desperate he actually was for you to touch him. You saw it, as clear as day, how scared he actually was, so you gently laid your forehead against his without putting any kind of pressure, "I can do this. Please, please, let me help you…" Your throat suddenly felt tight as your eyes filled with tears, "You almost died…"

Your whisper made his insides curl, as his gaze went down to your connected arms, which was the same he was holding your wrist.

You could feel the hold he had on your wrist tighten a little bit by your words, and you sniffed, trying to hold back your emotions.

And that simple action crumbled evey wall Katsuki could have put in between you two.

He was taking deep intakes of breath, your breath that was so close to his face and it felt like it was already healing him.

"You'll take breaks each hour."

"No, that's barely enough time to help it travel your whole body, and you know it."

Bakugou huffed, "Fine, two hours."

You pulled away and rolled your eyes, a traitorous tear rolling down on your cheek, "That's what I've been doing."

"Fucking brat…" He muttered, trying to hide a smirk, and you smiled in satisfaction.

"A simple thank you would be enough," you winked at him, which made him roll his eye.

You saw the little flutter of the other eye that was barely open at its movement, so you immediately went doctor mode and prepared everything to clean his eye, again.

Bakugou simply looked at you and let you work. And as he watched you, he couldn't avoid thinking how good all of you felt close to him, how stupid he was for all this time had you at arms length just because he thought you weren't strong enough, when in reality he was afraid of you getting involved in his world. For having treated you all this time like feather easy to break, when here you were, being the strongest person in the room while taking care of him and his wounds and also sharing blood with him to keep him alive like it was nothing.

He had underestimated you, and now he felt like a jerk.

A jerk that was completely in love with you.

"Thank you," he whispered back.

[figuringthengsout]

I did read the new POVs! My question stands.

Oh, okay!

Here's the original ask for context: "What do you mean 'Aaron figuring out before Dobson that Andrew needed approval.' ?"

By approval I obviously mean approval of Andrew's sexuality. In the new extra content you can read the part where Aaron realized that Andrew never talked about Neil to Bee or, better, about Neil in the context of his relationship with him. Because of Andrew's past we know that this decision could come from different reasons, but what Aaron seems to think - and what the context then seems to confirm - is that Andrew never talked about his relationship with Neil with Bee because he was afraid of losing her (this reminds me of him and Cass, but this is another discussion). Andrew was afraid that by admitting his orientation Bee would see him under another light and distance herself from him. And the same fear applied for Aaron (which is really sad if you consider that Nicky had been a stable presence in both of their lives for years by that time).

Anyways, the point is that it took just a few minutes for Aaron to understand what the hold up with Andrew was, whereas Bee seemed to still be in the dark.

Now, you could argue that Bee might have already sensed something and that she decided to not bring it up for whatever reason, but why would she when she knew how much Andrew craved her (and his family's) approval? Why not try to reassure him beforehand? Especially considering his past? Wouldn't that be cruel?

And if she hadn't known how to bring it up with Andrew, why wouldn't she try with Aaron first (despite the difficulties and his refusal to talk)? The same way she did now by testing the waters with Nicky's situation? Why wouldn't she help Andrew see that there was no need to be this scared?

I honestly think that Aaron was the first one to really see through Andrew and to make sure he knew he was not only accepted, but also respected. Aaron seems to be the only one able to properly see how scared Andrew is, always.

And I think that's because Aaron sees himself in Andrew and vice versa. They're so alike and they both want the best for each other, but that's a scary thing to want when the world has always dealt you bad hands. Because Aaron in its fundaments craves the same things as Andrew: for Andrew to accept his love for Katelyn and respect his decision to stay with her, despite the challenges that might arise or the risk that she would take advantage of him; and he knows that's asking for too much. He knows that they're flying too close to the sun, but they've been playing safely for so long and they're so tired that it's worth taking the risk of crashing. Especially now that they're sure they'll always have each other. Now that there's no more need of a deal. Now that they're just brothers.

[evelynndecipio-blog]

September 13, 2021

Dear Miss Decipio,

I must admit to my surprise and delight at having received correspondence it is good to know that some people take their responsibility seriously. It is welcome relief from the posturing and stress that is student-life at Hogwarts.

To my utter and complete surprise, I have been coping rather well with the transition. The pit of snakes had not been my goal during Sorting, but the Hat insisted it would be my best chance. The students here are odd – one asked me to join her in alligator-infested waters – but I have decided that this is just normal fare for this world and attempted to mostly take it in stride. I am certain you’ve already heard of the First Day from the Slytherin prefects.*

I have made a lot of discoveries that would have served me well to know beforehand. It had not occurred to me for instance, that the wand hand should be the off-hand so the main hand may still do things like open doors or interact with the walls that are actually doors or passageways. But I digress with my anecdotes, let me get back to your concerns.

You have asked about classes. On this front I can report that I have been maintaining a borderline O: casting itself has not been too difficult, but the theory is challenging. Especially in transfiguration and potions, I have found myself confused and lost more often than would be acceptable. I confess I have also had difficulty managing my time, between trying to understand things mentioned in-passing in conversations (why is kissing frogs something desirable?), Muggle studies I do in my own time (Physics, Chemistry and Literature), and the Hogwarts syllabi.

It also irks me that several aspects of this world makes no sense! What is the evolutionary purpose of the Devil’s Snare I ask you, if it is not a carnivorous plant that consumes its snares? Why are the students so obsessed with kissing each other? Why is there an Egyptian mau cat with green eyes everywhere when I attempt to explore the school?

I apologize, that last bit rather got away from me.

Overall, I have been coping. Though there are some aspects where I am more comfortable than others. I am confident I will survive.

How about you, though, Miss Decipio? I realize now that I have spent this entire letter going on about my problems. As a prefect; an upper year; and an athlete to boot; how has the new semester been treating you? I heard somewhere that third years have additional subjects as well. I would love to hear about it, if you would be willing to share . . . ?

Warm Regards,

Hui Ming

PS: I was attempting to make the signature move, much like the pictures in the newspapers. Do let me know if it turned out alright.

PPS: I was uncertain of the proper etiquette of receiving owl messages. In the end, to avoid any possible resentment from your messenger, I may have given it some pieces of bacon. Please advise on how to handle these birds in the future.

[stregaboii]

The only company I’ve ever felt comfortable with has been my anger. I learned real young that I wasn’t deserving enough to be anything other than an object to hurt, betray, use. I remember vividly hands wandering maliciously around my legs, belly, the works. The sound of my footie pajama zipper is imprinted so loudly in my head. I remember mixing up what was actually my anger with what I thought was my (much older) brothers love. Turning my head to look at that ugly, dusty mark on the wall near the floor vent. I watched that mark grow into a friend. Wrath was becoming my confused comfort, while the dust particles floating around in the mornings sunlight was a hypnotic memory repressor. Convenient dust I hoped would fill my lungs up just enough so speaking wasn’t possible. Perhaps breathing could be my reward for being so good at hiding, forgetting. Of course it can’t stay forgotten forever and just like a rattlesnake warning you of their own danger, I was viciously good at sharing my venom. Until I turned 24 I didn’t understand why I was so hateful. It was the only thing that made me feel alive, or made me feel anything at all. It took the realization I was still alive and heading towards 25,30 etc that I started to feel something other then anger. Worry, it is defined as “give way to anxiety or unease; allow one's mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles.” Once it started it never stopped even for a moment, even when anger was present. Now the possibility of consequences AND rage? Yikes to say the least. Throw a near death experience in the mixture and all of a sudden flashbacks. It’s amazing how the brain remembers certain things especially during moments of extreme stress. The smell of Cheerios and dust, the feel of my baby blanket on my cheek, the sound of a mower and dishes being put into the sink. The way I felt, the chores I did afterwards, the play time I had with my neighborhood bestie. Yet I couldn’t tell you what he said to me beforehand or what he even looked like. In fact his face is just gone, I see pictures of him and I do not recognize who he is.

Therapy ended up becoming one of my greatest endeavors. Those battles, the war, that spectacular venom all had places to go now other then to fester inside my throat. It’s still hard and every now and then anger and I will meet, flip each other off, scream and cry at each other. But we don’t linger and hold each other close anymore. Not like how it was.

[kpop-zone]

Twice reaction to having to kiss their crush during Spin the Bottle

Nayeon

Nayeon almost squealed in joy when the bottle ended up pointing at you. She truly was the luckiest girl on this planet. Only with great difficulty, she managed not to grin like a Cheshire cat.

“Y/N, I guess I have to kiss you.”

She smirked while already crawling over to you, causing you to chuckle. You definitely knew that she had a crush on you due to the fact that she was very bad at hiding her emotions and that she, therefore, was more than enjoying this. Excitedly, Nayeon cupped your face as soon as she was sitting in front of you and put your lips together without hesitation. Her smile didn’t falter for a second and grew even bigger with every second that your kiss lasted.

Who would have thought that this night would be the best of her life?

Jeongyeon

Oh no

As soon as the bottle came to a halt, Jeongyeon’s heartbeat ceased completely. She had known that it was a stupid idea to play this game.

“Ouuu Jeongyeon has to kiss Y/N.”

Nayeon cooed next to her, causing her to roll her eyes in annoyance. Jeongyeon knew that if she would hesitate, the older member would make comments until you would figure out that she had a crush on you. But she couldn’t have you know that. Therefore, Jeongyeon inhaled deeply before getting on her feet to walk over to you.

“It’s not a big deal.”

She scoffed, pretending like her heart wasn’t jumping out of her chest right now.

As soon as the two of you were face to face, Jeongyeon quickly leaned down and pecked your lips, knowing fully well that she would chicken out if she would look into your eyes for too long. Only when she pulled away, she couldn’t pretend to be unfazed by all of this anymore.

“Holy shit.”

Momo

Momo stared at the bottle completely paralyzed. She had known that the bottle could theoretically end up pointing at you, but she hadn’t really thought about the consequences beforehand. Only now that the rest of the players demanded her to kiss you, everything began sinking in. Panicked, she looked at Sana and Nayeon who were sitting next to her and nudging her to finally go over to you.

“Go, kiss Y/N.”

Sana snickered amused, causing Momo to stiffly walk over to you.

“Come on, Momo. It’s just a kiss.”

You smiled encouragingly when Momo didn’t make a move to lean in and she laughed as if this weren’t a big deal for her before slowly closing the distance between the two of you.

If you only knew that you were literally making her head spin right now.

Sana

Sana’s eyes immediately met yours once the bottle stopped spinning. A thousand different emotions washed over her at once; nervousness, excitement, joy, anxiety... She had hoped that she would have to kiss you, nevertheless, she didn’t feel prepared now. But there was no time for second-guessing. Therefore, Sana slowly made her way over to you before kneeling down in front of you.

“I’m going to kiss you now, ok?”

She asked shyly and when you nodded, an excited giggle escaped her mouth.

Gently, she pressed her lips on yours for a sweet and short kiss before pulling away with the biggest smile on her face. This was better than everything that she had ever imagined.

Jihyo

“What a coincidence.”

Jeongyeon chuckled once the bottle came to a halt and Jihyo threw a death glare at her to shut her up.

Ok, she got this. This was just a game.

But when Jihyo turned her head to look at you, her heart began hammering against her ribcage. She had dreamt about kissing your lips for so long that she wasn’t so sure if she could handle it right now. You, however, seemed to be completely calm, wherefore Jihyo tried to look as unbothered as possible.

She couldn’t make a fool out of herself.

Without any more hesitation, she hastily closed the distance between the two of you, causing her breath to hitch once your lips met. In complete awe, she pulled away after some seconds and stared at you speechlessly. How could such a rushed kiss make her feel so many things?

Mina

There were some things that made Mina nervous beyond belief. Leading the list of those things were big crowds and... you, wherefore she tried to avoid those two as often as possible. Nevertheless, she found herself surrounded by a lot of people and you right now, much to her chagrin.

“Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.”

Everyone around her chanted and Mina wished that the ground would open up and swallow her.

But unfortunately, there was no way of out of this.

Therefore, Mina shyly turned to you while trying to calm her nerves. Don’t overthink this, she told herself, but it was already too late for that.

Do I wait for Y/N to close the distance? How long should we kiss? Where do I put my hands?

Questions upon questions caused Mina’s head to spin until she eventually couldn’t stand all the expectant gazes on her. In lightning speed, she leaned forward to connect your lips in a kiss that lasted less than a second before pulling away.

She would never be able to look into your eyes again.

Dahyun

“Ooooh Dahyun has to kiss Y/N.”

Chaeyoung cooed beside her, causing Dahyun to gulp.

“Like on the cheek?”

She asked nervously, although she knew that those weren’t the rules of the game.

“Nope on the lips.”

Chaeyoung smirked and Dahyun laughed forced in response before mirroring your behavior and shuffling a little closer to the middle in order to kiss you. She really wanted to make a joke right now to calm her nerves and to lighten the atmosphere, but when she looked at you, her mind went completely blank. Her head automatically inched closer to yours while her gaze darted back and forth between your eyes and your lips. Only when she could feel your breath tickling her skin, she closed her eyes to savor the kiss. The feeling was breathtaking and Dahyun cursed all the people around you. She didn’t want to pull away yet, but there was not enough privacy here. Therefore, she broke the kiss and slowly moved away. As soon as your eyes met though, she couldn’t suppress a dopey grin and she giggled sheepishly.

Hopefully you had been feeling the same.

Chaeyoung

Since when was it so hot in the room?

As soon as Chaeyoung realized who she had to kiss, she could feel her cheeks burning. Nervously, she looked at you and cleared her throat.

“Um...seems like I have to kiss you.”

She mumbled and you giggled in response.

“Seems like it.”

You nodded and Chaeyoung inhaled deeply before slowly leaning forward. She stopped shortly before your lips touched though to give you the chance to close the distance which you did without hesitation. Her hand automatically found its way to your cheek, holding you gently in place until you pulled away again.

If it had been up to her, you would still be kissing.

Tzuyu

The gasps that went through the group when the bottle stopped spinning caused Tzuyu to blush. If her members were any more obvious, you would figure out that she had a crush on you in no time. Confused, you looked around as the others expectantly looked back and forth between the two of you. It was clear that they would not shut up about this soon, but Tzuyu didn’t let herself be bothered by that now. This was just a game and she would just kiss another player like all the other persons before her. For you this kiss probably meant nothing, therefore, she shouldn’t make a big deal out of it either.

Without hesitation, Tzuyu pressed her lips on yours before pulling away as fast as she had leaned in. She could hear that her unnies were making some excited remarks around her, but she couldn’t understand a single word as she stared at your lips in astonishment.

Maybe this was a big deal after all.

[captainpikeachu]

One of my favorite things about how TFATWS team tells John Walker’s story is through just visuals and Wyatt’s acting, without dialogue. And one of the best examples of that is during Sam’s speech to the GRC members.

First, you see Sam point out how using words like “terrorists” and “thug” is counterproductive, because the GRC’s own “peacekeeping troops” can be “terrorists” to the millions of people they are forcing into settlement

And immediately we see the camera cuts to John reacting to that, because he is technically one of those “peacekeeping troops” that the GRC uses, the GRC co-opting essentially the image of Captain America to do its “peacekeeping” works

John looks back to Bucky and Bucky gives him this knowing look, as if to say, yeah this is how other people would have felt like. And Bucky would know more than most about reconciling with being viewed as “the enemy” given his past history. And for John to hear what Sam said is important because it opens up his perspective. He’s been tunnel vision all season on doing the job right, the job being Captain America and the mission he’s been given, that he’s not really taken the time to consider why the Flag Smashers exist or that it’s beyond just allies and enemies as he would have been taught to think as a soldier. 

Here we see John recognizing that there’s a perspective he’s missed and not been thinking about, and learning from what the other side of this conflict would have felt.

Then we next have Sam talking about being a Black man in the stars and stripes and the difficulties surrounding that.

And the camera once again takes a moment to focus on John’s face as he takes it all in. Now John’s certainly had his own pressures and difficulties to face as Cap, some of the hostilities and expectations and especially feeling outmatched and out of depth in the situations he was dropped into. But he’s also never had to face the specific issues that Sam faces as a Black man. Race never factored into the difficulties that he’s faced. 

This reaction shows that John recognizes the issues of racism, how Sam would be treated differently as Cap than he was, and that he’s cognizant of the harsh reality this comes with. After all, having been best friends with a Black man and married to Black woman (and being in an interracial relationship), I doubt this is somehow his first time in his life hearing about race issues, especially given his southern roots from Georgia. 

And it’s again, important that John listens and takes in what Sam says, and looking through that lens at his own actions and experiences, because that’s how you learn and grow.

A lot of articles and discussions and reaction videos often gloss over this part, or some just gleefully go “see that’s why Sam is Cap and you’re not”, but very few realize that John’s character growth is literally happening in front of their faces, things that actually prove that he is good and he can be better.

Because when he and Sam have that moment of nod, it happens for a reason.

Beyond the fact that John had already beforehand symbolically let go of the shield to save the hostages, he nods to Sam in respect and mutual understanding because he recognizes WHY it’s important that Sam is now Captain America. He recognizes that Sam has a perspective that provides Sam with the empathy to engage in issues that John himself cannot do. He recognizes that Sam as a Black man in the stars and stripes carries a meaning that should not be silenced and is important to this country reconciling with its own history and where the future would go. And John recognizing that “why” is the reason he never fights Sam for that shield again. He knows it belongs with Sam, and he knows (from letting go of the shield beforehand) that he does not need that shield to be a good person or carry on the values of Captain America.

And there is a reason that Sam’s words now work on John when it didn’t before in that warehouse. Because in that warehouse, John was buried in anger and grief as it was literally minutes after Lemar had just been murdered, that might as well have been its own gravity well pulling him deeper and deeper in, locking everyone else out. He would not have been in any state to hear anyone out, especially when he already had trust issues with Sam and Bucky from their previous interactions. And let’s be honest here, which of us really listened to others when we are upset or grieving or angry. But the John listening to Sam in Episode 6 isn’t in that gravity well of anger and grief anymore, he managed to climb out of it when he decided to let that anger and grief go in order to save the hostages, and once he wasn’t trapped in that darkness anymore, he can hear and listen, especially since he was just working with Sam and Bucky to complete the mission. When we step away from our anger and pain, we are able to perceive the world around us again and be ready to listen. 

Without having John Walker say any words, TFATWS writers/filmmakers and Wyatt Russell were able to chart John’s growth using just the visuals in a few reaction shots, and it is done so very brilliantly! 

And they continue this through to his last scenes when he re-appears in the US Agent costume that finally has white stripes across his chest whereas his Cap costume was devoid of that white color, visually declaring to the audience that despite what could be a darker path due to Contessa Valentina and the visuals of his black costume, John has light in his heart and at his core still is good and capable of doing good. 

[chidoroki]

Norman - 22194

March 21st is here and it’s time for yet another birthday post. I already rambled on about Emma and Ray on their special days, so now it’s finally time to complete this full-score tradition with Norman. It might not be as detailed or long as the other two, since he was absent for a good chunk of the story, but it doesn’t make him any less important! I’ll be honest now, the boy isn’t my favorite character (he doesn’t place anywhere in my top ten for this series either) so I probably missed some moments worth mentioning but I did my best to praise this child anyway!

(spoilers for the entirety of The Promised Neverland, so if you haven’t read/completed the manga yet, consider this your first warning, because I’m once again going from start to finish with this.)

Since I want to stay consistent with the other two posts, this will focus on the manga timeline, as season 2 is, well.. it’s own thing. I’ll mention some things but don’t count on much. With that, let’s go.

- He achieves a perfect score on Grace Field’s daily tests, alongside Emma and Ray.

- He is, without a doubt, the smartest kid the house has ever seen, as he passes each test flawlessly and has maintained a 300 average.

- He’s a complete strategist who is capable of achieving victory (even in something simple as tag) by observing his opponents moves and analyzing their weaknesses in order to counter.

- Knows how to pick locks. The scene from ch1 was left out but we see him doing so later on in ep02.

- Stays relatively positive and calm after learning about the truth of the farm.

- Even going as far as giving Emma a reassuring smile, which I think is impressive given the literal nightmare fuel they’ve just witnessed. 

- I’m giving him half credit for suggesting the idea of there being tracking devices, since anime has him reveal this possibility while in manga it’s Emma.

- Both of them realize what determines the shipping order and that the demons favor their brains.

- This silly panel that I love dearly.

- Made sure to do a sweep of the entire house beforehand to make sure their escape planning doesn’t get pick up on.

- Figures out that Isabella only knows the children’s locations when she checks the tracker and that it can’t identify who is who.

- Has the nerve to lie right to Isabella’s face.. not that she believes it, but still gutsy nonetheless.

- Knowing the house probably wouldn’t have any rope, it was his idea to use the spare tablecloths.

- Had a feeling that Ray would reveal the harsh reality of how dangerous it would be to escape with all the children, which turns out to be correct.

- His laugh in ep02 is so precious.

- This statement being 100% accurate.

- Manages to convince the logical Ray, who we know now has spent many years coming up with a solid, safer escape plan, to join in and assist with their crazy and reckless plan instead. Having Ray on their side also grants them many advantages.

- Absolutely hates to lose, which is a good mentality to have in a world where your life is a stake and your time is limited, which eventually leads him to consider every possible opportunity to stay ahead of his enemies throughout the remainder of the story.

- Realizes that the trackers must only send out a signal upon being broken, which we found out to be true in Ray’s one-shot chapter.

- - Him looking completely terrified in this panel.

- He managed to catch all the Grace Field kids in a game of tag even after they received advice from Ray about how to survive longer.

- The goddamn intimidating energy he gives off here is fantastic.

- Despite his body being physically weak, he manages to survive and win against Krone during their game of tag.

- Just like Ray some couple chapters ago, Norman is completely serious about this idea.

- Suspects there’s a traitor among the kids and swiftly comes up with a plan to lure them out.

- This panel of him “dead” from the first side story.

- He has a feeling the spy is Ray, so he moves up the day of the escape to catch him off guard and send him into a panic.

- Even though the anime didn’t include it, he managed to throw off Krone as well with some fake footprints to keep her off their backs.

- Was honestly considering on leaving the spy behind while the rest of them escaped, though he doesn’t seem real happy about the idea, considering the traitor is Ray.

- His plan on fishing out the spy was flawless as he finally calls Ray out by revealing that the information he gave about the ropes and where he hid them were fake locations.

- Not only was Ray the first one Norman suspected, but he caught onto him way back when Krone first came to the house. All the information Ray was feeding them helped Norman come to this conclusion as well.

- Along with Emma’s words about believing that no one in their family is truly bad, Norman refrains from cutting Ray off to allow him to become their trump card. This was a risky move itself, knowing Ray could sell both him & Emma out at any time. Norman tends to prioritize victory, so while staying alive is absolutely necessary and that could’ve been achieved without Ray (as he could’ve just used Ray then ditch him later), he still decides to make the offer as realizes that in order defeat Isabella, Ray’s full cooperation is essential.

- Realizes that it was Ray who hid Little Bunny in the first place and lead Norman and Emma to investigate the gate that night, which leads him to believe that Ray isn’t really an enemy.

- He’s also left handed. Yes, that’s important. Not only for later in the story but because we’re superior. I’m sorry y’all had to find out this way. 

- This stupid, little face he makes.

- Suspects that Ray doesn’t actually plan on escaping at all and intends to kill himself.

- Just like Emma and Ray, Norman also recognizes and understands morse code.

- Look at this precious child, not even angry after getting punched and knocked over. (because i certainly would be)

- Finds Ray’s hidden supply of oil which confirms the method for his future suicide. This also helps Norman later on when he comes up with a refined escape plan by using the fire Ray plans to start.

- Figures out Krone’s true intention about why she wants to join forces with the kids in the first place. 

- He ends up accepting Krone’s offer anyway, because despite the large risk, any information that can snag out of her would benefit them.

- You mad lad, look at you, taunting the bringer of death yet again while a smile on your face.

- And he still manages to find some strength to smile while upon death’s door.

- Not for long though, as once he’s given the chance to be alone, he finally breaks down. Having the cup overflow with water really helps demonstrate how impactful the thought of dying hit him as Norman was overcome with so many emotions that he didn’t even have the strength to hold onto the cup or his facade. It’s then he starts to feel scared and sorry for himself but away from Emma and Ray’s eyes as to not worry them.

- His entire internal monologue as he comes to terms with his unfortunate situation and flips back to his determined “I can’t lose” attitude to help everyone else escape. Also, his theme ‘22194’ hits especially hard.

- For someone with weak, physical abilities, he manages to climb the wall on his own.

- Though the cliff stopped his escape, he used that opportunity to survey the surrounding area of the entire farm to rely his findings to the duo and provide them a safer escape route.

- Completely adamant about his decision to accept his shipment in order to give the rest of his family a chance to escape. (hell, id’ be terrified right now)

- This hug that is sure to break everyone’s hearts.

- Quick to react to Emma’s last ditch effort and prevented her from slamming her already busted up leg into the ground.

- Not only did he predict that Ray would start a fire to distract Isabella and on which day, he also left behind the pen and key he received from Krone along with a new, detailed plan (which he managed to come up with in only a few hours by the way) that would allow the kids to cross over the cliff.

(post season one spoilers below. again, focusing on the manga timeline, so any new season 2 events will be mentioned sparingly.)

- Like Ray, Norman was able to figure out how the pen worked well enough to see Minerva’s message regarding B06-32.

- Since he doesn’t show up again for quite some time post-escape, there isn’t much to talk about.. but at least I can make fun of him thanks to extra pages, like how he wouldn’t have enough strength to use a bow.

- But hey, props to s2ep10 for actually giving us Norman shooting an arrow. He was pretty decent with it too, as he hit his target on the first try behind a darn smokescreen. The manga did show him holding a bow in ch161, but that’s it.

- Not relevant to the actual story at all, but his smarts certainly make anything possible.

- I’m sorry but these tiny failures of his bring me great joy.

- Though the tests at Lambda are harder than those at Grace Field, Norman still managed to get every question correct. Every single day he was there. Even when the facility manages to increase the difficulty of the tests, he continues to pass each one with flying colors.

- Since he noticed someone who’s right handed also takes the same tests he does, he makes an attempt to communicate with them via a Rubik’s cube. He waits patiently for five months until he finally gets a response from Vincent around Christmas 2046. 

- Dealt with the experiments/drugs that were forced onto him and the seizures that resulted from them.

- Even with the tight security and surveillance, he somehow acquired explosives and successfully blow up Lambda and escapes with the survivors.

- Again, not significant to the story, but seriously dude? You just fainted and yet you still get this crazy question right effortlessly?

(post time-skip)

- Contacts Lucas moments before the B06-32 shelter gets blown up and gives him the numeric code that eventually leads Emma’s group to the “Jaw of Lion.”

- Destroyed numerous mass production farms since his escape from Lambda.

- As well as save countless children from other farms and used the Paradise shelter found by Smee’s network to give them a sense of safety and taste of a normal life.

- The darn glow-up he receives, like sweet lord child, are you sure you’re still 13??

- - His cute, squishy cheeks though!

- He may look like he’s in his thirties, but still has the strength of a child. (see anime? this is how strong ray’s slap should have been!)

- Learned a great deal of demon history and gave that lengthy lesson about the demon’s genetics and how they inherit the characteristics of whatever they eat and evolve accordingly. 

- With Emma’s wish about saving everyone and lively happily still on his mind, he thought of a safe and certain method in order to create such a future for all the children raised as food.. which ends up being complete extermination of all the demons caused by a civil war. His plan also includes ending the Ratri clan as well. How cheerful.

- Are you surprised to learn that Norman getting tackled by the younger kids is my favorite panel of him?

- You weak, little bean, I’m sorry I enjoy making fun of you so much.

- Successfully forms an alliance with Lord Geelan and his clan by offering revenge on the royal family, the five regent houses, as well as the Ratri clan, thus putting Geelan in full control. In return, it would grant Norman the full release of farm children, permission to self-govern and some much needed power in terms of demon strength.

- He knows full well that the entire alliance is a lie and both parties are only using each other, though in works in his favor, as it will send the demons to destroy each other without the lose of any human lives.

- This absolute powerful panel that the anime decided “nah, we’re gonna change this too” because they’re cowards.

- Narrowed down possible locations on where to find Sonju and Mujika. Sure it was with the intention of killing our demon friends but his map was accurate.

- Survived who knows long with his seizures at level 4, and because of his severe condition, he’s completely set on following through his plan and succeeding before his time runs out.

- Seems to enjoy blowing stuff up, such as the imperial city’s bridges to send the place into a panic and trap all the citizens.

- Advised the Lambda crew on how to effectively fight against the queen by attacking relentlessly.

- Let loose a poison that causes not only normal demons to degenerate, but the royal family as well, such as the five regent heads and the queen who’s name is too long and complicated for me to ever remember, who all have the cursed blood. (at least that’s how effective it was in manga, in anime it did absolutely nothing to vylk)

- He somehow managed to learn, speak and understand the demon language, which, according to Shirai (vol16 author notes), is actually an uncommon language nowadays. (and we’ll unfortunately never know how this language actually sounds, thank anime..)

- Do I even praise him for killing a demon and well.. all this? Sure in the anime he tried killing Vylk, but old demon was fair more innocent compared to the royal family, so I have no idea.

- I will give season 2 some credit and say I prefer their take on the “right now you look like a small child, shaking with fear” panel.

- But not too much credit, as they didn’t give us the full trio hug as the manga did!

- Then again the anime did have him about to apologize to Vylk and Demon Emma for his actions, which is something, I suppose? since in ch154 he says he didn’t regret killing the queen and royals, which I guess is justified because they were the bigger problem, but oh well.

- Might have apologized to Ayshe for killing her father? Can’t be sure but that’s the unanimous consensus in the fandom right?

- Instantly comes up with counter moves and directions for the entire group upon hearing the enemies locations from Vincent during the GF raid.

- I honestly can’t look at this panel anymore and not laugh about it.. because reasons.

- He just keeps on winning. (also he looks real good here, i’ll give him that.)

- He and everyone else are skeptical about there being no “reward,” and for rightfully so.

- Upon learning that Emma is missing after everyone crossed over to the human world, they all adopt her optimistic attitude and swear to find her no matter where she might be.

- After a stressful two year search, the kids finally find Emma and Norman is so overcome with emotion that he busts out into tears of joy, despite finding out that she lost her memories due to the reward. All that matters to him is that Emma was safe and happy and he accepts her just the way she is.

And I guess.. that’s it. I’m sorry again, I know this is truly the weakest post out of the trio and I have no doubt I glanced over a whole bunch of great moments but it still had to be done! Making fun of him probably wasn’t the best thing to do on his special day either, but I assure you this child is very powerful. Who else do you know that is capable of sending an entire fandom into a panic and rage furiously by just simply showing up?

Ah ha okay, now I’m done. In all seriousness though, this lad is great and through everything he has endured, he definitely deserves to be celebrated today, so happy birthday to our boy Norman!

[alilbihh]

hocus pocus — epilogue

masterlist  previous part 

pairing: maknae line x reader

summary: jungkook wags his tail and his eyes look like truffles. jimin drinks blood out of juice boxes and bendy straws and tries to wink but ends up blinking both his eyes closed. taehyung likes the ocean and all kinds of art and apologizes to rocks. you don’t know if they want to take you out the date way or the assassination way and somehow you think it’s both.

genre: werewolf!jungkook, vampire!jimin, hybrid!taehyung, witch!reader; humor (??); poly!au (in the future!)

words: 7k

"Sit still, you're making me ruin them." Taehyung whines, and you make sure to still until he nods in satisfaction.

"M'sorry." You mutter, but he just carefully kisses your wrist. You take it as answer enough.

He slowly sets your hand down on his thigh, tucking the brush into the nail polish before lifting your hand to his eyes and fixing his little mistake. He's painting your nails black, a color that was ultimately decided by Jimin. Jungkook wanted to go for pink, a choice he thinks suits your aesthetic, whatever that might mean.

Taehyung shifts a bit, the nail polish standing open and uncapped right next to him wobbling dangerously. "Careful, careful, the bedsheets," you hiss, trying not to shriek and flail your arms, "That was, like, my one condition when letting you paint my nails on my bed."

"S'fine, it won't spill, honest." He murmurs, a smile trickling up his face when you huff.

His legs are sprawled awkwardly around your hips, his feet carefully in a position where they won't bump into anything to let the painted black of his toenails dry off. It's a stark contrast to the now deep pink of his hair, but he wanted to join you regardless. Makes your heart hurt. You'd kissed him right on the nose for that.

You want to kiss his nose now, actually. His brows are furrowed in concentration and his lips are pursed into a little pout, hair falling over his eyes. You want to kiss the dip between his brows, the purse of his lips. You almost do, catch yourself leaning forward because it's-- easy. It's easy now, to act on your instincts, to not have to hold back, to want. But then you remember the context doesn't allow it, and you sit back with a huff right as he starts working on your pinkie.

Taehyung laughs fully, breaking into giggles, gently says, "hey, now," and sets your hand down to peck your lips once, twice, thrice-- pulls back with a shriek when your hands start instinctively reaching to comb through his hair and tug him back, "Hand, hand, hand, hand! Hand!"

He doesn't allow kisses anymore.

You're pouting as you watch him fix his own nails, expertly removing the now chipped, light blue color that was previously adorning them. He still has some eyeliner on, a pretty pink on his cheeks. The top three buttons of his shirt are undone, purposely or not, you'll never know. There's purple peeking out on the honey of his skin, mostly hidden just under the collar of his shirt.

He's beautiful. He's beautiful, and he's your boyfriend, and you want to kiss him, goddammit.

Your hands are still carefully positioned so as to not ruin your drying nails as you shuffle closer to him, batting your lashes and waiting. It takes a few seconds of the man fighting back a smile before he pauses to turn towards you, amused, "Can I help you?"

You make a sound, like a whine and a groan all rolled into one, and maybe the word kiss gets stuck in there somewhere but you can't be too sure. Taehyung understands regardless, grins this tiny little thing that grows big, spreads both his cheeks wide.

He levels you with a look but still seems to be weighing his options. To kiss or not to kiss. "My nails," is all he ends up saying, more of a whine than anything.

You don't say anything, just stare determinedly into his eyes. He stares back, raising a brow, a challenge if you've ever seen one. You stare. There's a bit of glitter on his eyelashes, you think. Too long lashes, if you have anything to say about it. You should not be getting this overwhelmed over eyelashes.

It takes a second, then Taehyung sighs; giving in. Gives your chin a little tickle before leaning in. "M'thinking of getting a tattoo." He murmurs against your lips, presses another kiss there just because he can. His eyelashes flutter against your cheeks. "Whaddya think?"

You hum, quick and surprised, then pleased. "I'm all about letting you do things that make you happy, but just know that if you decide not to get this tattoo, I will be highly upset."

He barks out a laugh, throws his head back, a very Jimin-like gesture. "Highly?"

"Highly. Deeply." He laughs again at that and you smile, lean your head against his chest, listen as his heart beat, beat, beats-- beats faster, even, as you press a kiss to the dip of his collarbone, once then twice then thrice. "Seriously though, you'd look beautiful. If you want, go for it. Jimin and Jungkook will know all about it."

Taehyung's cheeks color as he looks down, shakes his head so his hair falls over his eyes. You laugh, suddenly thinking of peppering kisses over Jimin's own tattoo, the Nevermind sitting big and pretty over the man's ribs. Jungkook, too, the many tattoos spread over his hands and his chest and his back.

"Today's brunch day," you say, brushing Taehyung's fringe from his eyes with the palm of your hand-- with great difficulty. "You should come."

"I would, but I have work. Wanna finish my painting, too." He says, completely in pout. "I'm halfway through but I don't know if I like how it's turning out."

"I'm sure it's beautiful." You say because it's true, his paintings always are, always pretty and colorful and meaningful. He paints a lot of things. Paints Jimin, his cheeks sore from smiling. Paints Jungkook, eyes puffy with sleep. Paints you too, standing in a field of leaves painted oranges and reds, or even just doing the most mundane thing possible, like chopping up a bowl of pomegranates.

You smile at the thought, lean in to kiss the mole on his nose even while he continues, "I'll show you when I'm done. Hopefully before I maybe possibly definitely get my tattoo."

"What tattoo are you getting, anyway?"

"Not sure," He says, brows furrowed. He's carefully brushing the nail strengthener over your newly colored nails, eyes flirting here and there quick. "Maybe, like.. A peach tattooed on my ass. Or maybe just ‘property of Y/n L/n.’"

"Taehyung!" You exclaim, horrified, but he only smiles and bursts into a fit of giggles.

He leans backwards and the nail polish falls over before you even have the chance to scream, and you release a long winded shriek that only makes him laugh harder. Taehyung later offers to kiss it better and it doesn't help fix your now ruined bed sheets, but it's maybe a little nice. Maybe.

"You don't all have to come, obviously, but like-- You're all coming, right?"

"I thought he was trying to act humble for a second, wow." Jungkook says and Jimin laughs, covers it with a hand. It's so endearing you think your heart clenches for a few seconds too long.

You don't all have brunch together every day because that isn't a wise economical investment and your schedules don't always allow it and honestly, 3 pm is a bit late for brunch anyway, too late for it to be considered brunch at all, but Taehyung says it's an excuse to feast on breakfast foods and you aren't one to object to that.

So you all meet up for not-brunch sometimes, all of you together, hunched in the plush red seats in the corner of what started as Jungkook's favorite little waffle place. Taehyung and Jungkook's goal is to eat through the menu and you and Jimin are kinda just in it for the ride.

"Of course we're coming, dummy," you say with furrowed brows, "Me and Jungkook are literally in the process of making you a banner for when you do the sexy snake part."

"You're making a what."

"Noona, that was supposed to be a secret," Jungkook leans over the table to whisper, then says to Jimin, "On a completely unrelated note, hyung, do you prefer pink and yellow together, or blue and yellow together? Those were the only crayons me and Y/n could find in the store so I need to know."

"You're all insufferable."

Jimin had just recently gotten a solo act in his dance course, and so you're all obviously going to be supporting him. You’d invited Yoongi and Jin and Namjoon, too, and so they all wanted to meet him beforehand and were all delighted to finally see both Taehyung and the dance major in person.

You were a bit uncomfortable about it because you really care about them all and really wanted them to like each other. And it's difficult to be uncomfortable in Seokjin's presence because he has a third eye for when people are feeling like that, and so he usually either A: sacrifices himself for a laugh or B: exploits every weakness you have to make you even more uncomfortable to make you realize how you really shouldn't be feeling uncomfortable in the first place.

He was in a B mood that night.

("So Jimin-ah," he starts, raising his voice to gather everyone's attention, "I hear you have very soft hands."

You think Jimin had turned to you for an explanation but you'd been shoving the equivalent of three lettuce wraps into your mouth to avoid speaking. That and you'd hidden behind Yoongi, but it's kind of difficult considering he'd been slouching his entire life and had practically made it into an art form.

Namjoon lets out a few semi-embarrassed ha-ha's on his boyfriend's behalf.

"Do I?" Jimin mumbles, prodding at his own hand.

"Can I feel?" Jin says, making grabby hands in Jimin's direction even though they met all of thirty minutes ago.)

"Hey, it's horny boy!" Jungkook greets with a snicker as Taehyung (rather reluctantly) trudges towards your table, plastering the customary customer service smile. It's supposed to look forced but it looks too soft on him, you think. Too fond.

You catch his eye, catch him trying to hold back a smile. To pretend he's not associated with any of you, most likely.

He's wearing his work uniform, long black pants and a flannel shirt with a little shirt pocket. There are feather earrings drooping on his ears that go long, almost reach his shoulder blades, tickle his neck. There are fairy lights circling his antlers, and it was meant to be festive in the beginning but it's mid march and he's still adamant on using it. Something about how Christmas lives on in his heart.

Taehyung looks one way then the other, as if to survey his surroundings, before bumping your hip with his as a gesture for you to scooch over. You comply, the hybrid settling beside you on the rather comfy cushion, proceeding to immediately kick Jungkook from beneath the table.

There's a yell and a laugh and then the two are playing footsie rather aggressively, Jungkook sinking in his seat and everything while ignoring the rather distressed Jimin beside him. You're all causing a public embarrassment but you're all laughing so you can't quite bring yourself to care.

Jimin turns to you, deadpans, "Do you know them?"

"Absolutely not."

He takes a long sip of his boba, as if to contemplate, then says, "Should we stop them?"

"Absolutely not." You both grin.

It stops eventually, Jungkook making soft little whines as he crosses his arms indignantly. Taehyung giggles and leans over the table to kiss him and makes a big show of it, too-- puckering his lips the closer he gets. They giggle into each other's mouths and you feel an overwhelming fondness swell up inside you, pushing up, up, until you're grinning and it hurts to breathe.

"What were you guys talking about when I wasn't here?" He asks, pauses. Smacks his lips together for a second, turns to Jungkook in question, "Are you wearing lip balm?"

"Yeah," Jungkook says as if it's obvious, "Always gotta be prepared."

"Hm. Cherry?"

"Strawberry, actually."

"Nice." They fist bump. "What were we saying?"

You snort, "We were talking about the sexy snake before you got here."

Taehyung makes a noise, swallowing his drink quickly before he says, "The sexy snake! He's always practicing it at home. Whenever I walk in it always looks like he's doing something nasty to the ground."

"Well you always walk in at the wrong time!" The man in question says, indignant, chugging down his boba to not have to look you all in the eye. "I don't know why you all call it the sexy snake, anyway. I don't look like a snake." You laugh when he leaves out the sexy part.

"You kinda do." Jungkook says, voice a bit muffled, the straw of his boba still between his lips.

"It's something like this," Taehyung does this little wiggle in his seat, meant to copy the infamous sexy snake, and it looks all kinds of awkward but you and Jungkook giggle anyway and he grins big.

Jimin purses his lips, as if to keep himself from laughing, then says, "I don't look like that. Y/n, I don't look like that, right?"

"No thoughts head empty."

"Y/n!"

It's then you're all arriving home, Jimin tripping over the stairs with a giggle, Taehyung trying to convince you to get waffles with him tomorrow as you turn just enough to watch him, to feel your heart swell with every word. Jungkook, his hand spread over your back, giving your bum a few pats when you lean in to press a kiss to his cheek.

You don't know what it is, but you feel--alive. More alive than usual. You're not sure how to explain it to someone if they were to ask, but these days you've been almost painfully aware that you're a person, and that you're alive. Grounded. Very of the Earth. Very aware of every little thing that's happening to you, as if you hadn't been paying attention before.

You turn up the heat of the oven, the concoction bubbling and popping and gurgling in the cauldron as you stir. When you raise a spoonful to your mouth, you taste nectar and ambrosia, peaches and pomegranates. Taste something that's a little dry, too.

You pour it in an empty wine bottle you'd kept for this exact occasion and walk back to your living room. "Look guys, I made wine with everything except grapes! I'm practically Jesus."

Jimin's the first to laugh. First to make grabby hands in your general direction, too. "Gimme."

You hand the vampire the bottle, about to turn around and grab a few glasses lying around somewhere until Jimin drinks it straight out the bottle and that's that.

"Can you teach me how to make this later, love?" He asks as you settle beside him, an arm snaking around your waist to pull you closer. Jungkook's making surprisingly quiet conversation with Taehyung, but turns just enough to raise a leg to rest over yours. You giggle and he pinches you, but you think he's smiling before he looks away.

"I would but it's kinda hard. Doesn't always turn out the way it's supposed to, either, unless it wants to."

"I hate magic." Jimin mumbles against your neck, pressing a kiss there just because. "It's so finicky."

"Why would you say that to a literal witch," You say, mildly offended, but he only giggles.

Then. Then you're all sat around the couch, laughing and drinking homemade wine until Taehyung makes a face after his first sip and settles for Jungkook's banana juice instead. A sober icon.

(There's touches too, tender ones, warm ones that settle in the pit of your stomach. Jimin, a hand under the hem of your and Taehyung's sweaters to pet at your waistbands, at your stomachs. Jungkook settled over you all, head on your thigh and legs on Taehyung's, much to the hybrid's initial despair.

"Massage my feet, hyung."

"Absolutely not."

Taehyung, shuffling over Jimin to press his lips to the back of your neck, a deep, almost guttural rumble sounding against your back in an almost-purr.)

You sit there amidst it all, taking it all in, hoping to keep this safe, keep it somewhere with a lock and key.

Jungkook noses against your stomach, mutters a mantra softly under his breath you think sounds like mate, mates, home--and you want to keep this. Want to keep this for a long, long time. And you think you just might.

Everything is loud and encased in a bright, neon light, surrounded by the people you love, but that fact becomes debatable as you think you catch Jin's tall figure doing some sort of dance somewhere in the crowd and maybe Taehyung in the middle of a circle of people, the man chugging down a bag of gummy bears. You can't be too sure though.

It's the day after Jimin's performance, and the song he danced to has been playing on loop for the past fifteen minutes, maybe. Jimin laughed at first when he realized, but you think by now everyone's getting tired of it but no one has the heart to stop anything.

You think the man of the hour is-- somewhere, maybe helping Namjoon pour the drinks, maybe chugging down gummy bears with Taehyung or slow dancing with Jungkook completely out of rhythm, but you spin on your stool and look up when you hear footsteps and smile as a hand softly cups your cheek.

"M'love. Pretty. I've been looking for you," Jimin coughs, then, and he looks-- beautiful. A white flannel shirt tucked into faded black ripped jeans, round glasses sitting crookedly on the bridge of his nose, hair disheveled like there was someone running their hands through it. He's smiling big and wide and kind of sloppy at the edges and he looks kind of ridiculous, but he's cupping your cheek and calling you pretty and you can't help but smile just as wide.

"Hello," you murmur, take a hold of his hands, and for a second it feels like everything stills, just you and Jimin sitting in this pretty little world. "What've you been up to? Did you drink? You look like you drank."

He does look a bit drunk, but you know that can't be true because Jimin can down vodka like it's water and does so with an effortlessness you will never possess, not to mention he's a vampire, but-- he looks just a tad bit drunk. Drunk on something more intangible, maybe.

"Hey, Y/n," he starts, like he just thought of it and it's the best idea he's ever had, "Let's make out."

You cough only twice before bursting into laughter, and Jimin looks nothing if not pleased with himself. "No, you absolute bimbo."

"Why not?" He all but whines, swinging your intertwined hands around, arms flailing, "I wanna do it. Right now. This second."

Jimin leans in teasingly and you think you catch both Jungkook and Taehyung doing kissy faces in the background somewhere, and when he does kiss you it's messy and sloppy and you're both smiling and it's-- practically all teeth, really, but there's something nice about it, something tender.

He starts tracing your jawline with gentle fingertips when you both pull away, and you kiss the pads of his fingers when they hover close to your lips, watch as Jimin draws in a breath, deep and shuddering.

It takes a second, then-- "Jesus, you can't just do that," he breathes out, coming to right as he steps between your legs, taking the sides of your face between his hands, gently caressing the under of your eyes.

You're-- still on your stool, still in the middle of a crowded apartment, all with people you know and love but maybe that only serves to fluster you more. "Jimin," you hiss, probably too red, too flushed under his tender gaze and others' prying eyes. Seokjin and Hoseok's especially, those nosy bastards. "Not here!"

"Why not? Why can't I kiss my lover?" Hands are tugging at your face, tracing your chin, pulling you in; more gentle now, as if to let you pull away if you want.

"Our other boyfriends are literally judging us as we speak." Jungkook is filming you two from a distance now, and Taehyung is standing right beside him, laughing too hard at something he said. You don't want to know.

"Let them, they can join us if they want."

"Jimin!" You're horrified, to say the least.

And then Jimin is laughing, and the sound melts you down to your bones, human fondue. And then- and then--

Then he's pulling you off your stool, turning to gesture something to Taehyung who immediately understands, the hybrid answering with a nod and a thumbs up. Soulmate culture, if you may.

Then he's leading you up the small set of stairs you'd walked through so many times before- past a frantic Namjoon who looks to have some frosting in his hair- going up, up, looking back only to check on you, to kiss your knuckles.

Then he's clicking open his bedroom door, ushering you inside by the small of your back. The door closes softly behind you, and you're faced with a bedroom that's so terribly Jimin that you kinda ache a bit. You'd been here before-- just this morning, too, maybe-- but it always catches you by surprise, leaves you feeling terribly soft for this boy, for all your boys.

"Are those my socks on the floor?" Is the first thing you say.

Jimin kicks your socks under his bed right before your eyes. "No," He drawls.

You laugh and he smiles at the sound, the vampire taking one step closer, then two-- immediately reaching for you once he's close enough to touch, hands trailing gently from your shoulders down to your hips. "Taehyung and Guk should be here soon, I told Tae to bring drinks. And those gummy worms stashed under the sink. Maybe a sandwich, while he's at it."

"How did you-" You sputter, "You showed him, like, a peace sign, how did you give him that much amount of info in the span of two seconds?"

Jimin smiles, drags his bottom lip through his teeth like he's holding back a laugh before shrugging, and— well. You'll get it out of him one day.

You trace the arch of his brow, the slope of his nose, the dip above his lips. He's the one to kiss the pads of your fingers this time. He hums something soft, scrunches his nose to urge his glasses higher.

"You should wear glasses more often, I like them." You say as Jimin takes them off-- to kiss you properly, you think cheekily-- watch as he places them on a nearby table.

"They make me look stupid."

"No, they don't. You're cute with them."

"Am I cute without them?" He grins, cheeky.

"Stop fishing for compliments."

He giggles and rests his forehead on yours, eyes half lidded and wide and brimming with so much open adoration that you surprise yourself by reaching out, hooking your fingers through his belt loops to pull him in close to taste again. Jimin crowds in closer still, stepping in closer until you're almost touching but not quite. Not enough.

Jimin's voice rumbling beside your ear as he murmurs your name, Jimin's thumbnails dragging softly over your spine, Jimin's lips pressing open mouthed kisses on your neck.

The man draws in a breath, "God, you're so—" he trails off, pressing kisses to your neck, knuckles stroking along the side of your jaw so tenderly you ache.

It takes a second, then you feel sharp teeth dragging over the skin of your neck, and you shiver-- Jimin immediately pulling away with a low curse. "Shit, I'm sorry, m'love," he covers his mouth with a hand, cheeks flushed. His fangs are gone when his hand lowers. "Can't control them sometimes."

"S'okay." You say almost breathlessly, your mind reeling, still trying to catch up with the rest of your body as Jimin flattens his weight against you, pressing you against the wall, a hand cupping the back of your head. His fingertips trail down the side of your face and you—feel. You feel so much, all at once.

He crowds in close, a breadth over your lips, "Wanna keep going?"

"Wait," you gesture for him to look at you, and he does-- or maybe he was already looking, never stopped. "I'm really proud of you, hm? We're all really proud of you."

You cup his cheeks and he's suddenly shy, grinning wide and pretty pretty pretty.

You both stay like that for a long while, you think; lazy kisses and lazy touches, lazy words and lazy smiles that linger and go long, leave you both breathless and giggly.

There's light streaming in through an open window, pink and gold reflecting onto Jimin's skin. There's a distant smell of old books and earl grey tea, of sweet cologne and newly washed sweaters. There's laughter on your tongue and you can taste his smile and you no longer long for a place that doesn't exist because it-- does. It does exist, maybe it always did. And you found it, right here, and it's beautiful.

Then there's a soft creaking and soft footsteps and soft laughter, more hands reaching to touch and that's. That's love, too. "I can't believe this," Jungkook starts, huffing out a laugh, "They left us to make out. They really did it. This is—blasphemy."

"I bet you don't even know what that words means." Taehyung snickers, even as Jungkook retorts with a little punch to the hybrid's shoulder.

A harmless little fight threatens to burst forth and Jimin steps away from you to physically restrain Taehyung from swinging his antlers around like a madman. "I never want thing one and thing two around me again." You deadpan to yourself.

Jungkook blinks, turning towards you with a halfhearted fist still hovering midair, "Wait, which one am I?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea, I don't really wanna see them either." Jimin nods, hands literally cupping Taehyung's cheeks as he says it.

"Noona. Am I thing one or two?"

"We should probably kick them out." You contemplate. Jimin hums, kissing Taehyung's cheeks now.

"Which one am I, noona? Noona—"

You're happy now, and you hope to be happy in the future. And that will be love, too.

"Hey," A little whisper sounds against your ear and you turn, a flash going off before you can throw your hands up to hide. You make a face at that and another snap goes off along with Jungkook's giggle and you realize you're fighting a losing battle.

You're in Yoongi's greenhouse to restock the mugwort and rosemary, the faerie tending to a rosebush and cutting of the stems. They're a little fussy so you don't want to disturb him.

Jimin and Taehyung are huddled by a tree trunk trying to feed a one-legged bird, and sometimes rainwater will drip down your nose even though the outlines of the clouds overhead are delicate, their edges blurring into blue. You can guess how far you are from the shoreline from the scent of the ocean.

Wind kicks up in your hair. It takes a second, then you hear another snap.

You dig your hands into the earth, feel dirt sticking to your nail beds as you frown, "Shouldn't you be taking pictures of something else?"

Jungkook lowers the camera enough for you to see his eyes shaped into little crescents. Out of spite, probably, he takes another picture.

You make the motion as if to stand ad leave but his hand shoots to your wrist to gently tug you back, giggling a drawled out "no!"

Taehyung turns just then, sees you both and a wondrously slow grin spreads just like that. Another snap.

The hybrid gestures for you to come closer and you stand quick, brush yourself off, grab a hold of one of Jungkook's arms and attempt to pull him up with brute strength. He doesn't move an inch, but laughs at your attempts anyway.

It always feels different being together. Watching Taehyung press a wet, sloppy kiss to your and Jungkook's forehead and Jungkook trying to kick him and Jimin laughing and then a snap of a camera before the vampire can react and complain because Jimin, for someone who likes to be seen, strangely doesn't like to be seen. Jungkook takes photos of him anyway, because Jimin is one of the most beautiful people you know.

Being together is different. Everything feels different when you're together, like there's not a thing that's missing, like everything you could ever want is right here.

"Y/n-ah, you should take us here more often," Taehyung says as he spins in a circle, arms outstretched as if he could hold the whole neighborhood in his arms if he wanted. The whole world.

You watch him spin and spin and spin and feel a little grin tugging at your lips, "What's so great about all this?"

He almost trips but catches himself on a thin tree and starts twirling around that instead, "Plants don't grow like this just anywhere," he says, stops abruptly. There are leaves stuck to his hair, and Jimin giggles before plucking them off one by one. He continues, "They didn't grow like this because of the magic, either. They grew like they've been loved."

Taehyung's got his head tipped up, like he's looking for constellations even though it's midday. He takes a step forward and his antlers get stuck on a tree branch and he yelps and you're all laughing even as he screams dramatically.

Yoongi then decides to waddle towards you and says you're all disturbing the petunias, so with little to no persuasion you convince him to hand some of the things you needed in the first place before gathering your things and heading home.

Jimin and Taehyung fall into step behind you, seemingly not even noticing they're supposed to be going to their own home but you don't comment as they walk inside completely uninvited. (But completely welcome.)

Jimin whines a little at the dirt on his clothes so you rummage through Jungkook's closet and know it will be a bit too big on him but it will have to do. You find three spare 99 cent toothbrushes in a pack of ten in the cabinet under the sink and have no idea who bought them or what happened to the other seven of them.

It all feels a little bit dreamy, you think; Jungkook closing the window in case it rains and Taehyung curling in small on the couch, making sleepy sounds with a hand resting on your thigh, lashes tickling your cheek as he leans in to press little kisses to your nose and your upper lip. Jimin hovers over you both and bites his lip, a nervous habit he doesn't know about. A purposeful action he does to get what he wants. You haven't figured out which yet.

Jimin makes grabby hands. You face Taehyung with as blank of an expression as you can muster, then say, "I don't know, Tae, what do you say we do?"

"I don't know..." he drawls, Daegu accent tugging at the vowels, a hand stroking at the soft skin of your belly, "Is this the part we ignore him and make out or something?"

Jimin, with one swift leap, plops himself on top of you both even as you all shriek and Taehyung yells a distant "Whose leg is this?!" followed by a low oof. You think that's when Jungkook plops himself on all three of you and all the breath leaves your lungs completely.

It's strangely domestic, they way you're all giggling even as Jungkook starts brushing his teeth with two of his toothbrushes and Taehyung spits a little bit, tooth paste dribbling down his chin, and you think Jimin chokes a little bit, too. You don't think you've ever been endeared by something so stupid but you wouldn't trade this for anything.

You all play rock paper scissors to determine who gets the middle, and Jimin wins with a victorious whoop but Taehyung says he was in the middle last time so they hand the win over to you. (Jungkook suggests you take turns next time and that's an idea you can definitely agree with so that's a topic for discussion for later.)

So then you're all squeezing into this bed that's much too big for four people, and you're a bit smug as you settle in the middle before Jungkook presses his cheek to your stomach with Jimin behind him and Taehyung on your other side and you all manage to make do.

"Ow! Tae-hyung, what the heck?"

"I didn't mean to pinch you! So wait, whose leg is this?"

"That would be me," you mutter.

"Oh." He says, then pinches you, too.

Your eyes start to droop as they start making quiet conversation; not about anything particular, but then Taehyung starts talking about what it's like to live with Jimin and dramatizes how romantic it is until Jimin pipes up saying they'd spent Valentine's day playing Minecraft last year, and Jungkook laughs so hard he snorts and does that thing where he starts randomly slapping people's shoulders.

They check up on you too, sometimes, pressing little kisses to your exposed skin with whispers of you awake, baby? and go to sleep, little love, and you're so pretty, noona-- and it's all a pretty dream, you decide. You'll stay here in this pretty dream and listen while the three tell you pretty things.

You feel Taehyung tug lightly at your hair, and you turn to face him and he grins so softly you turn to mush. His fingers stroke low on your waistband, your hipbone, and you feel him pull you closer before he even does, lifts you with a happy hum and then you're kissing and kissing and kissing, lips catching over and over until you're warm and pliant and melted into Jungkook.

"Pretty," Jungkook sighs, crawling up higher to press kisses to the nape of your neck, pull you flush against him.

Taehyung kisses you soft and sweet and then not so sweet but slow slow slow, just the way he likes to be kissed. Your hand reaches to cup his cheek and tilt his head just so, trace his jaw, tug at his hair to hear his breath hitch.

Jimin, with a deadpanned voice, says, "Well, this is fun," and you snort into Taehyung's mouth as he half-laughs, half-shrieks, then you all pile onto the vampire to tickle him and it's a mess and an even bigger mess when you almost knock him off the bed.

There's something nice about knowing that you'll wake up to all this tomorrow, to feather soft touches and lingering kisses. You like all your mornings with them, even the hectic ones, with toast crumbs and rushing around Yeontan and strings of panicked I'm late, shit, I'm—can you, will you—and lingering touches that shouldn't linger because you're all late.

But this is gentle, tender. Push too hard and it hurts because everything is exposed and vulnerable kind of tender.

You press a kiss goodnight to each of them, playfully slap Jimin's chest when he tries to keep you close and blow raspberries into Jungkook's mouth when he tries to tickle you, too, and when you move to kiss Taehyung's knuckles you smile at the little tattooed moon on his inner wrist, and you realize that you want to kiss it. Realize, too, that you are so deeply in love you don't know what to do with all of it.

So you kiss it. And you kiss him. And everything is warm.

"You look different these days," Seokjin murmurs, gaze more focused on squeezing the little plastic ketchup onto his french fries. Empty packets are already starting to pile around his plate, and his arm is kind of shaking from the strain, and it's. A little funny. You pinch the soft spot of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing.

"If you're just going to call me ugly, Jin, then just save it." You say, pretend to be annoyed, down some more of your drink like it's vodka.

"That's not what I meant at all! I'm saying something happened," he takes one sweeping look over your bundled frame and announces proudly, "You got laid! Holy shit. I never thought I'd see the day. My baby's growing up."

Namjoon nearly chokes beside him, looks around frantically, "Hyung, we're in public. Also, please never call Y/n that ever again."

"But it's true. You're all my babies," He announced without chagrin, popping a fry into his mouth. Namjoon attempts to look smaller, then mumbles a small prayer towards the ceiling.

"I didn't get laid." You deadpan, cupping a hand over your mug. You mutter a small incantation and feel it warm in your palm.

Seokjin continues his coos as Namjoon reaches over the table to clap your back, either as a form of support or an apology, you'll never know.

"You should ask them to move in, I'm sure they'll say yes," Jin continues, chewing thoughtfully.

"I've only been dating them for like three months." You say, but only receive a shrug in response.

"That's, like, a year in Y/n time."

"That doesn't make sense."

"You're right. Six months in Y/n time. Maybe seven."

You groan.

Namjoon then starts talking about the concept of time, which leads into the concept of beauty, which segways into a heated debate about toxic masculinity in the beauty industry, and then suddenly you're sitting amidst a conversation about gender norms and queer theory and it's. Too much.

Seokjin turns to you when he notices you've been quiet for too long, "Y/n-ah? You okay? Is this about the whole getting laid thing? I wasn't actually serious! Mostly."

"No," you say, feeling small suddenly, "'M just happy."

“Oh.” His eyes soften. "Good. That's good. Yoongi-chi said so, too."

Your heart warms. Warms at the thought that there are friends looking out for you, careful and caring, friends that notice when you're fine, notice when you're not. It grows a bit overwhelming sometimes, this small little reassurance you have, tucked away from prying eyes in a place where everything is soft. Little reassurance that says these, these-- these are the kinds of people I want to keep close.

"Yeah," You smile, say again but softer, "Yeah."

"Ask 'em to move in," Namjoon hums, "It'll be good for you all."

"Hey, Jungkook?" You ask one night when you two have been up too long, and it's late enough for words to spill more easily as if drunk. The werewolf hums and you continue, "Do you wanna move in?"

Jungkook stills and you feel something like bile start to surface up, up, but then he giggles and pats blindly at the mattress until he finds your hand and laces your fingers together.

"We're already roommates, Noona."

"I know, but like," you pause and peel open an eye and find Jungkook's gaze in the dark and he's already looking at you. You wonder if he'd ever looked away. "But like-- move in, you know? Like, boyfriend move in, because we weren't dating when you did move in, and—Don't look at me like that! You know what I mean!"

He's smiling, amused and fond, then says, "Are you gonna make me write a proper lease? Are you a nice landlord?"

"Forget I said anything."

"No," he drawls with a whine, giggles when you shift and turn so you're facing the other way. His hand snakes up your shirt, a finger trailing down the dip in your back. His nose tickles your neck as he continues, "Come back, noona. Baby."

He says it the same way he did before, when you'd first kissed and were both pretending it hadn't happened. Even before that, too. Saying it like it means something else.

Jungkook pulls you so that you're facing him and then you're nose to nose and he's grinning unabashedly, "Noona, I would love to boyfriend move in with you." He says adamantly, then he's pulling you in and tugging you close and kissing you hard, biting your lips cherry red until he slows and it's soft, soft, soft.

When you're both pulling back with droopy eyes and lazy touches is when you curl in small, feel him peppering kisses over your collarbone, "Can our boyfriends boyfriend move in with us, too?"

And then you look up and he's grinning big and soft and shy and-- Jungkook. "Yeah," he breathes, something deep and shuddering, "I'd like that a lot."

("Does this mean I can husband move in with you one day, too?"

"Go to sleep Guk," you say, hushed, then whisper, "That sounds nice."

You feel his smile on your neck and your heart soars up, up, up.)

There are new flowers on the table.

They're pretty, reds and purples and pinks dissolving into white. You smile, murmur sweet nothings to the one drooping outside the vase, watch as it perks slowly into place, petals fluttering. You'll make sure to sprinkle something on them later, help them stay for maybe a few weeks more. It's sweet, smells a bit like honey and marmalade.

"Peonies," you muse to yourself. You'd have to thank Jimin later. You can feel that Jungkook's a little calmer than usual, all safe and warm somewhere close, so maybe you won't have to wait long.

Footsteps pad softly over the creaking floorboards, and you turn to a sleepy Taehyung trudging towards you, rubbing at his eyes.

"Do you like peonies?" Taehyung asks as he watches you gently tuck the flowers into a vase, placing it somewhere where you can see, where the whole world can see.

You think for a long while, tracing a hand lightly over the petals, watch as they melt into your touch. The room gets warmer. It's always like that these days, you think-- warm, warm, warm.

Today, just outside, there are dandelions growing through cracks in the sidewalk. There's an old couple sitting by their porch holding hands. There’s a lizard resting in the morning sun, trying to grow a new tail. There is life. And you're learning to love yours quite a bit, too.

"Yeah," you say, not quite looking at him but you don't need to. He knows. Always does, really. "I think I do."

a/n: this is the end folks :( I’m gonna miss this bumbling trio :(( i’d like to thank u all so much for all the support on this lil series, hopefully this ending is satisfactory djksjd?? i might maybe write some drabbles for them at some point tho!! this was plotless and had like zero angst this is my level of longing for romance. ty for reading g’day

[tinkonka]

charlime fic: love

didn’t know how to end this, but i was pretty proud of it, so here you go!

With a flick of her hand, the wretched demon that she had delightfully banished had reappeared in mere seconds. She joined Zizel in staring at Lime, who was coughing uncontrollably and covered in gaping red holes. The chatty demon that she and Zizel had indulged in prior was reduced to a tragic heap before their eyes. If Rouge had to admit, it certainly was surprising how much of a contrast this was to the demon she knew formerly.

"...What?" came her sickly sweet voice, muddy brown eyes darting around as she took in what was going on. "...I'm... back?"

"Yes, for the time being, you have been relinquished of your punishment." explained Zizel, voice calm and relaxed - a stark contrast to the sickly mess before the two. Lime was confused to say the least - and who was to say that wasn't welcomed? This rarely happened, people were rarely released from the hell worse than hell. Rouge was just as confounded as Lime was.

"...Why?" Was all Lime managed to say, heaving her trembling body up and bringing her left arm to cling onto the particularly deep wound that had been inflicted on her right. "Why am I back?"

"With the current movement to taking over the mansion, it's getting more and more chaotic. Charlottes constantly holed up in her room and doing the bare minimum, Noel's a pushover, and the other haters are just plain useless." Rouge explained with a foul tone. This certainly was not helping her distaste for the demons below her. "As such, we require more assistance. And as deranged as you may be, you offer a good work ethic."

"..." Silence. Whilst the two purebreds would usually be content with this, it was rage-inducing for Rouge. Impatiently, she took a step towards Lime, folding her arms across her chest. "Well? What'll it be? Will you assist?"

"...You're giving me another chance?" Lime whispered, a foreign spark lighting up in her eyes.

"Make no mistake, girlie, if you make a single wrong move I will not hesitate to banish you to the hell from whence you came." Rouge threatened in a low tone, glaring at Lime. Her harshness had not faltered in the slightness, whether the person she was addressing was terribly wounded or at their best health.

"...Okay. I'll help." Lime decided, a small smirk making her way onto her lips. "Where's Charlie?"

"As I stated, the woman never leaves her room. You must be the cause for this - go see her. I've nothing left to tell you, ask Zizel if you need anything. I have other things to attend to." the red-head replied, and with a wave of her hand she disappeared with a pale red flash.

As Rouge disappeared, Limes attention was placed on the shorter pink demon. She was greeted by a soft smile.

"Good to have you back. Ta-ta." And in a blink of an eye, Zizel disappeared as well.

-

...Well, nothing left to do except to except see Charlie. Lime decided with a small smile at the thought of seeing her best friend. Although out of practice, she snapped her fingers and fortunately appeared directly outside Charlie's door.

"Ohhh, Chaaarlieee!" Lime called, her voice rising a few octaves as to fit her cutesy persona that she had adopted prior to being rightfully banished. Granted, her voice was noticeably grainy, as she was out of practice. And trying to keep up the facade whilst you scream of horror as you're draped in bloody gashes... isn't particularly worth anything.

Nothing but silence, but then came a scrambling noise from behind the door (with a discernible squeak that no doubt came from a few of the stuffed toys that Lime remembers the demon being so fond of) and in a heartbeat Lime was crashing into the ground with the familiar ginger head now ontop of her.

"GUH-" grunted Lime, painfully reminded of the wounds all over her body that were now throbbing from the impact. Though, her attention was now focused on the hater demon currently wetting the front of her dirtied shirt with her tears.

...Huh?

"Charlotte?" squeaked Lime, out of breath from the fall. What was this? She could feel Charlotte trembling against her, held in sobs wracking the petite girls body. What was wrong? Why was she...

...Did she miss her?

"Charlotte, hey, I'm here-" the green-haired girl hissed, a particularly harsh throb coming from her arm. She sat up with difficulty, the hoodie-ridden girl ontop of her following suit and sitting up herself, gloved hands wiping her eyes, in an attempt to stop the seemingly never-ending flow of tears dripping onto her legs.

"You... you're back!" Charlotte exclaimed, a rare, genuine happy smile making her way onto her face. "You're here again, you're back... I..." She paused to let out a sob, head bowing down in an attempt to conceal how much she was crying. "...I missed you."

"...What?" Bewildered, Lime was staring at the hater demon, expressionless. Charlotte let out a chuckle, though it sounded more like a cough than anything.

"I know, shocker." Charlotte looked up, the smile still on her face (though smaller, Lime could see). "Demons having feelings for other demons? Un-be-lievable." She sarcastically remarked, a ginger laugh accompanying the statement. For the first time, Lime could see Charlotte was genuinely happy. She wasn't sure if this was due to her emotional incompetency, or if this was just the first time Charlie had felt true joy.

Either way...

"Why? Why did you miss me? I don't understand." Lime spoke, her emotionless tone encouraging Charlotte to snap out of her cathartic stupor. The tears slowly began to stop, giving the hater demon room to begin speaking a little calmer.

"...You don't know love." Charlotte began, swinging her legs out from under her to suit a more comfortable position. "I've told you that countless times, haven't I?"

"Yeah, way to rub it in. Your point?" Lime spat, her voice shifting to a cruel-like manner. Had Charlotte just put on a show to make her feel bad for not being able to understand??

"You spent your entire life living a nightmare. Nothing but despair." the red-head demon's grip tightened on the toy bunny - Rabi - she always had in her small hand. Though noticeably, the scissors that usually accompanied the stuffed toy were strangely absent.

"What are you trying to say? I've been punished, Charlie, you don't have to hur-"

"But isn't that my fault as well?" Charlotte exclaimed suddenly, her tone growing shrill as she sat up and stared at Lime directly in the eyes. "I could've made a change, I could've at least done something to make it better- I knew you were hurting! And I did nothing... and you disappeared. You were here and then you were gone- I-" The tears started back up again.

Beforehand, all Lime could observe in those curious ruby orbs was hatred - explainable hatred for humanity before her. But gazing at them now... she sensed a deeper pain. Hurt. Hurt that was all too familiar. Hurt that Lime had felt time and time again, stretching on for what seemed like an eternity.

Realization struck her like a bullet. Quivering lips, trembling hands... all Lime could do was recall her time when she was walking on this planet just like everybody else... And the pain she was witnessing seemed mirrored her days when she was human.

She wanted somebody to love her. No different than Lime, Charlotte wanted to be loved.

Against her best interests, Lime reached forward and pulled the shorter demon into a tight hug. It obviously took Charlotte by surprise, but it quickly melted into mutual touch, with her smaller, trembling arms wrapping around Limes scarred back and clutching onto it, as if she was holding onto something she held dear.

Compassion, benevolence, the ability to empathize, all of which were concepts that Lime had ridiculed, envy being the sole reason for her doing so. She wanted somebody to understand her, she wanted to be loved like Noel loved Claire or like Ashe loved his family. And the fact that she wasn't able to get that kind of love drove her to do things out of her wheelhouse, which, of course, led to her inevitable doom.

But holding Charlotte like this, tenderly rubbing the back of her shaking form... a foreign warmth began to make its way into Limes body. And with a smile, she buried her face into Charlotte's hood, shedding a tear herself.

She had pondered for centuries as to what love felt like, but as it coursed through her veins, she recognized it almost immediately.

She was loved.

[concussed-to-pieces]

Stay Safe Part Seven: Like A Ghost

Fandom: The Mandalorian [Star Wars]

Pairing: Eventual Mandalorian [Din Djarin]/Reader

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Welcome, welcome! I will apologize for word count, but I will never apologize for length...or girth. Enjoy!

Tag List: @wrestlingfae @huliabitch @helplessly-nonstop @toxiicpop @culturalrebel @sinnamon-bunn @literal-fand0m-trash @fioccodineveautunnale @hxldmxdxwn @lizajane3 @thewaythisis @nellyneko @absurdthirst @kylolover96 @crownofmanga @eli-bourne @lackofhonor @talesfromtheguild

Part One: Should Have Known Better

Part Two: Tranquil Turmoil

Part Three: Vibroblade Mettle

Part Four: Reaching Out

Part Five: Dark Past

Part Six: Go Alone

He was silent for quite a while and you were loathe to break it, sitting on the edge of the co-pilot seat with the harness secured loosely around you. A force of habit, more than anything.

He appeared to be studying the various star charts, flipping back and forth between two particular ones to select the shortest route to the next destination. You were still uncertain as to why he had requested your presence; your navigational skills were bare-bones compared to his, so that couldn't be it.

"You remember what I said about the button on the comlink?" The Mandalorian asked abruptly, making you straighten up. "That it sticks?"

"Yeah, of course. You told me a few times." You responded, your brow furrowed. "Why, did something happen?"

"That night, you…" he paused, clearing his throat. "After you said good night."

Oh no.

"I thought you were in pain."

No no no.

"At least, that's what I thought a-at first." Even through your panic, you picked up on his voice sounding strange again.

"I-I--" You stuttered, your mind spooling back all the incredibly embarrassing, incriminating things you had said. Maker. "Look, I-"

"Do you do that often?" He questioned bluntly. He hadn't turned to look at you and that, of all things, made you angry.

"Listen, I get it, okay? It's gross, someone like me getting off on thinking about someone like you. Miles worse since you had to hear it, I'm sure." You spat, your embarrassment compounding to a scalding fury. "I wish it hadn't happened, but now that I know it did all I can say is forget-"

The sound of his harness buckle hitting the side of his chair interrupted your heated rant and the next thing you knew he was standing over you, leather gloves creaking from the pressure of his fists clenching. You quailed a little, suddenly unsure of yourself. What if he thought you were dirty, disgusting for fantasizing about him? Oh Maker, what if he was angry? What if he forced you to leave? What if-

The Mandalorian jabbed a finger down to undo your own buckle, his grip unforgiving steel when he tugged you up out of your seat. You stared hard at his chest, willing yourself not to cry.

"I couldn't get your sounds out of my head." He rasped finally. "I was up all night. Couldn't sleep." His hand moved up slowly, like he was in a trance, and he ran his thumb over your lower lip. "Th-Thinking about you spread out on the floor, whimpering for me." He muttered, and you started to realize that he was absolutely not angry. This was...something else. "Begging for…sounded like you were right next to me a-and you're this beautiful...fucking, perfect-" He stopped abruptly, his words choking off in his throat. 

It was restraint. 

Iron restraint was keeping him barely reined-in but he wanted this, the breaths panting out through the modulator a tell-tale sign that he was under duress. He pulled off his right glove and reached out hesitantly, cradling your hand in his bare palm when you didn't move away. 

His fingers were so hot. You could feel them trembling and you wondered what thoughts must be running rampant in his head as you folded your other hand over his own, keeping it there. He inhaled raggedly, his helmet listing to the side. "Maker, I've been--I was…" 

"What?" You whispered, feeling as though you were trying to approach a wild animal.

He appeared to be having trouble articulating. For all his self-assurance, he had never really displayed any sort of awe-inspiring grasp of linguistics. The tradeoff for a creed of people that so often ended up solitary, you reasoned. In a way, it was endearing. 

A soft noise issued from him, almost a groan, almost a sigh, and he lifted his free hand to his chest. His index and middle finger drew a circle and then he rapped his knuckles against the beskar over his heart, steel ringing softly in the silence of the cockpit. "K'oyacyi, stay alive, stay safe." He murmured. "An order, rigid, firm, with heart underneath it."

Oh.

"Do you remember the first time you said that to me?" The Mandalorian pressed on, "You were still scared of me, but you said it anyway. Right before I tangled with Dune. "

You erupted into giggles. "I know, you got covered in needles from those trees."

"Thought I'd never get all of them out of my cape." He was smiling, you could hear it in his voice.

"You sound nice when you smile." 

"I...h-how...thank you." He stammered. 

He stepped back after a moment, gesturing down at the star charts. Destination: Nevarro. The place you had called home for over a cycle. The place where you had once longed to return. It seemed like a lifetime ago that you had been cowering in the hold, begging to be delivered safely to Nevarro.

"I'm...I'm bringing you back. This is where you wanted to go." He said with difficulty. "Once we arrive, I..." He paused, looking down at you. "I don't know what will happen."

"I'm coming with you." You said quickly.

You felt the difference, the shift in his attitude. One moment he had been warm, the next, an impenetrable wall of beskar slid up between you. "No, you're not." 

You wanted to scream at the change, to rail at it until he relented and gave you back that brief taste of what you had been searching for all this time. The man, not the mystery. "How am I supposed to keep you safe if you go places without me?" You reasoned wildly, trying to phrase it like you were joking.

"I don't need you to keep me safe." For all his hatred of droids, he certainly excelled at channeling their impassive demeanor. "I would rather you stayed out of this. It's business between the Guild and myself."

"Then why are Cara and Kuiil here too?" You challenged.

"That's...they're here to…" He shook his head and looked back towards the viewport, obviously frustrated and either unwilling or unable to explain himself.

Your heart sank in grim realization. "You're going to do something."

"I'm always doing someth-"

"You know what I mean!" You interrupted him sharply. "Something that you shouldn't do. I heard the message, most of it anyway."

"It's something that I have to do." He sighed, the sound bone-tired. "Otherwise, they'll just send more hunters after the kid. It's better this way. Better if I go along with the plan."

"B-But-"

He reached for you abruptly, hands gripping your shoulders. "What would you do? Since you've got all the answers?" He growled. "I can't keep running. We've barely made it this far. I won't get steady work without the Guild. If I do this, Karga wipes my record and I can get back to the way things were. The kid shouldn't have to be fucking hunted, running scared all the time!"

You glared up at him, furious because of course there was nothing you could do to change his mind. You didn't have a solution to this problem and he knew it, yet he still wanted to take it out on you! "Don't yell at me, you-!" Angry words seethed in your chest, molten hot like lava. You wanted to rage at him, stars knew you wanted to. But instead, tears welled up in your eyes. "Y-You--!" Maker, why couldn't you just be angry? "You're so stupid!" You sobbed out.

He was silent in the wake of your tumultuous explosion, hesitantly digging his thumbs in to rub comforting circles on your shoulders after several minutes of just standing there like a statue. "I don't know what else to do." He admitted, his voice nothing but a soft whisper. "All I know is what I have to do. You need to understand, the IG and I...I made the choice to hunt the kid first. I turned him in first. I took the payment first."

"You g-gave them the baby?" You snuffled incredulously. "I thought-"

"They offered me an entire camtono of beskar." He replied, his voice dark with shame. Your eyes widened, breath catching in your chest. So much! "Slid me an ingot beforehand to sweeten the pot. It was Purge-smelted, like the one you had. It needed to be brought back to the tribe. Healed. Melted down to sponsor Foundlings." He sounded like he was still trying to convince himself, still trying to justify his actions. "This is the Way." 

"Stars." You breathed. 

"I handed over the kid, got my beskar, and I...I just...I realized that I had…" He was struggling again, settling for a shrug. "So I went and stole him back and then left." He cocked his head to the side, his tone gone wryly fond. "That's when you showed up." 

The individual in gleaming beskar armor gave no sign that they heard you, their rifle barrel trained between your eyes--

Now that you knew what had transpired immediately prior to your arrival, you were even more impressed that he hadn't shot you on sight. "I'm going with you. I don't care." You hiccupped, wiping your eyes. 

"That's the problem. I do." His voice pitched lower with sincerity, fingers digging in slightly. "How many damn times have I put you in danger? Between Sorgan, Toro, the stunt with Ranzar's group? This isn't a life you want, stowaway." He was trying to convince you, you realized, possibly himself as well. 

"I want a life with you." You whispered, your words naked and honest.

The Mandalorian's voice sounded raw even through the modulator. "No, you don't."

His hands left your shoulders and you almost started crying again, only just managing to fend off the impulse through sheer, indomitable spite. You seized his bare hand before he could move away from you and you raised it to your lips.

"Don't," he breathed, his helmet bowed against his shoulder. "You're making this much more difficult than it needs to be."

"I don't believe you." You knew the words were cruel, but you didn't regret them. You stared defiantly up at the impassive man, then you kissed his knuckles. 

And all hell broke loose.

The Mandalorian ripped his hand out of your hold and grabbed a fistful of your tunic, shoving you back against the wall. "You think so?" He seethed through his teeth. "You really--you believe-I--" His body crowded yours, beskar breastplate rising and falling against your chest with every furious breath he took. Your own breathing hitched, legs trembling slightly as you stared him down. "Do you have any idea how hard you're making this for me?!" He finally managed to snarl. Not angry but frustrated, scared.

His pelvis rested against yours, and through his flight suit... "Yeah." You replied, giving him your cheekiest smirk. "Yeah, I'm getting an idea."

"You-" he stopped short, obviously confused before you pointedly rolled your hips. His helm dropped and he sucked in a ragged breath, the hand still fisted in your shirt tugging you hesitantly closer after a moment. "More. Fuck, I just-" His other hand grappled with your belt loops, wrenching your lower half flush to his. "More."

You squirmed in an effort to get comfortable and he snapped his teeth with an audible click!, the noise sending lightning sparks through your body. As he tilted his head back, no doubt in an attempt to regain some composure, the thick column of his throat revealed itself tantalizingly from beneath the layers of beskar and cowling.

"Want to touch you." He said helplessly.

"I'm not going to stop you."

"I know, that's the fucking problem." 

"That seems like the exact opposite of a problem to me." You tucked your face against his shoulder, fingers dragging his cowl out of the way, and you felt his whole body tense as you pressed your mouth to the sensitive skin of his throat.

The Mandalorian made a noise that sounded almost pained, his gloved hand shooting up to thread through your hair. "Maker, you...fuck-" His voice cracked when you bit down gently. "Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I want--"

"What do you want?" You asked softly.

"I--" The armored man surged forward to nudge his knee between your legs, spreading them wider. His fingers fought with your placket for a split-second, and then he had it splayed open. "You." He growled, gracelessly shoving his bare hand into your underwear. He stopped dead, clearly startled by how wet you already were. "Oh, you--you-?"

As if he hadn't had you in his helmet the other night begging him to fuck you. You whimpered, licking and nipping at the skin of his neck to try and encourage him to keep moving. "Come on, don't stop-"

His fingers shakily curved to cup your mound, rapid breathing all but deafening through the modulator. "You're so warm." He sounded dazed, his index finger tracing your slit before his knuckles collided with the slick that had pooled in your panties. "Maker, I just-"

His hand slithered free and you whined at the loss, confused when he quickly clapped his other hand over your eyes. There was a soft chuff of air and then you heard the distinct noise of a tongue hard at work. Your thighs clenched instinctively. Gods, was he tasting you? The low, unmodulated groan that followed only intensified your suspicions and arousal in equal measure.

"So hot." His bare fingers delved back into your drenched pussy, smearing your slick liberally around your clit. He hadn't removed the hand from your eyes yet, warm leather kissing your cheekbones. "You're so wet, I--fuck-" Whatever limited articulation he did possess seemed to have been thrown to the wayside, the Mandalorian resorting to a litany of sighed swears that had your body rocking against his hand. 

The hand that he kept pulling free. You could hear him shoving his helmet up to taste you every time, licking your arousal off of his fingers like he was starving. 

This was all achingly one-sided, despite his original protests. "H-Hey." You said shakily, trying to get his attention, "not that I'm not having legitimately the best time of my life, b-but I'm not doing anything for you-"

"Wrong." He replied breathlessly. "Everything for me."

"I just feel like--I-!" Your voice cracked, then broke embarrassingly high when he hooked his fingers a certain way and ground the heel of his palm up. You grabbed his shoulders, your body caving into his as your legs started to tremble.

"Everything for me." He repeated, feverishly working his thumb in circles around your clit. "Everything, everything-" He nudged your face against his neck, muffling your hungry whimpers and moans with his cowl. "-Perfect-"

Your nails dug into his pauldrons and a satisfied growl rumbled in his chest as you came apart under his touch. 

His hand finally left your eyes, but at that point you were having difficulty opening them anyway. You dimly heard him tearing at his zippers, the lower fly of his flight suit apparently giving him some trouble. He snarled and the feral noise ripped down your back like a searing blade, making you quiver against the wall. 

His gloved hand cupped the back of your neck, tugging your head down until you lazily blinked open your eyes, somnolent and simply luxuriating in the feeling. "Look." He breathed, seeming almost shy.

Oh. Oh, he was huge. 

You were absolutely looking. 

He had his cock in hand, the whole surface shining with a mixture of precome and your own arousal. As you watched, the head of it slowly vanished into his fist, and then emerged even slicker than before. "You're such a tease." You whimpered, loving the way his hips jerked at the sound of your voice. "Are you going to put it into me or do I have to beg?"

"You...you want-?" The Mandalorian sounded absolutely shattered. 

"Please, please fuck me." You wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing kisses to the bare skin you could find. "Please." Granted, you were unsure of your body's capability to take...all of that, but you were absolutely game to try.

"Stars, you're killing me." He grated out, tugging at your pants so you could kick them off. Strong hands gripped the backs of your thighs and he hoisted you up against his body, shoving his liner shirt to the side in the process. His cock ended up trapped between the slick folds of your pussy and his stomach and you loved the helpless noise he made in his throat.

Your back hit the wall a little higher than before and you wrapped your legs around his hips, wriggling into a slightly more comfortable position. 

"Tell me to stop." He begged, his cock throbbing against your sensitive clit as he shifted his hips. The motions sent tiny little shudders of delight up and down your spine. 

In reply, you rested your forehead on his helmet, staring into the visor. You imagined you caught the faintest glimpse of his eyes, wide and waiting. "You want me to ask nicely?" You crooned, "Please fuck me."

His cock slowly, slowly surged up into you, the blunt press of it robbing you of your breath. The Mandalorian's snarl was music to your ears, "Have t-t--go...slow." And stars he was huge, huge, you were bewildered that you were managing so well on this first push. You thanked the Maker that he had already made you come once, at least he wouldn't have any lubrication issues!

Words appeared to fail him rapidly, the armored man focused solely on burying his cock in you as deeply as he could. You finally felt the fabric of his flight suit against your groin and you growled, your fingers raking hungrily at his back plating. "Fuc-kk--y-you're so big-" You gasped.

His first real thrust ruined you. Your back arched and your mouth fell open of its own accord as the breath left your body, your mind dissolving into static. The Mandalorian pressed his forehead to your own. "S'--okay?" He slurred, clearly concerned but not in the right frame of mind to fully coordinate a sentence.

"Move, oh please, please," You begged, "fuck me open, f-fuck me, fuck me-"

His cock withdrew, and-and--

"M'sorry-" he choked out, cradling the back of your head to keep it from hitting the wall as he mercilessly pounded your cunt. "So--hot, wet, I--"

"Don't stop, please please please-" you sobbed against his neck, your fists clenched into his flight suit. "P-lease, I need it, I need you, gods I need you so much-" The words tumbled from your lips, as brutally honest as you could let yourself be, as he fucked them out of you. "I need you so much, I need you so much--"

I love you so much, I love you so much.

"N-Need…" You felt his body go taut underneath you, the tension making his cock throb at your inner walls. "You--me?" 

"Yes." You keened, your second orgasm building to a crest in your belly.

"So good-" Every impressive inch of him plunged into you and then he stopped, his fingers tangling in your hair as he held still for the barest second. "Safe." His helmet tipped back and he groaned, fumbling his free hand down to stroke your clit and fuck you through your orgasm. "I--want you, p-please--all this skin, f-uck, y-yes you feel so--!" 

He was grunting, straining, snarling out half-nonsense and then you raised one trembling hand to his chest. Two fingers traced a circle on the center of his beskar plate and as his chin tipped down to watch you, you tapped your knuckles over his heart. "Safe." You whispered.

He came in you with a seething moan, his fingers clawing at your hips while you clung tightly to him. 

Heavy breaths rattled his entire body. You weren't much better, your chest heaving against his own. The Mandalorian groaned deep in his throat, dragging at the hem of your tunic. "What's wrong?" You asked breathlessly.

He didn't answer, just continued to haul the tunic up and over your head. He then rutted his hips up, punching a pitiful little whine out of you. How was he still hard?!

"More." He begged. 

…

The Mandalorian's head tipped back and he swore, the noise gravelly. 

You sprawled comfortably between his legs, naked as the day you were born and swirling your tongue around the head of his cock. You had been there for an extended period of time, though you didn't particularly care. The pace you had set was languid, unhurried, and he seemed perfectly happy to just sit in his pilot chair with his cock resting on your tongue.

The urgency that he displayed earlier hadn't faded at all despite that, both of his now-ungloved hands hungrily stroking over your jaw, your shoulders, the back of your neck. 

"If I don't--don't-" He gasped out suddenly. "I want you to know, I-"

You pulled off of his cock and he grunted, shuddering. "You can just blow off steam, you know. Not everything has to have an important reason." You informed him, your nails scratching lightly at the flight suit that still covered his thighs. You ducked back down to kiss and lick at his balls, and you heard him choke when your tongue soothed over the sensitive skin. 

His abdomen spasmed underneath the thin liner shirt, muscles twitching and jumping the longer you lavished his balls with attention. "W-hy--I don't-I don't--" He stuttered, rushing to wrap his fist around the base of his cock to hold his orgasm back again. This would mark the fourth time since you had settled between his legs, but you were hardly complaining. "Oh, fuck, f--uck-" 

"Don't you want to come?" You asked curiously, licking a wet stripe up the side of his cock and fingers. 

His helmet slammed back against the headrest hard enough to make you wince. "W-Want--hngh-I don't want this t-to...don't want it to end. Feel so good-!" 

His voice broke when you grazed your fingernails softly over his balls. Despite him coming in you earlier, he seemed to have more than enough to spare. You wondered with a lewd thrill just how much he might come if he was toyed with long enough. 

"Used t' think about--about this. A-About. You." He confessed guiltily. "Fuck my fist, wishing it was your...c--unt, fuck-"��

"Yeah? Did you get off on me?" You asked teasingly. "Did you wish you were fucking me?"

"I d-didn't mean to-" he moaned, the noise almost a whimper. "I just...you were...g-good to me, n' sometimes I would--I would--" He spread his legs a little wider and shoved his liner shirt up, exposing the planes of his abdomen to you in a languid show. He then slid a single finger down the side of his cock, smearing the precome that had seeped forth once you removed your mouth. "Fuck my fist, just--j-just wishing that I could…" He choked off his train of thought when you leaned up and licked at the skin he had revealed. "Oh, oh, fuck-"

"I'll suck you off for as long as you want, and you can fuck me for as long as you want." You breathed. 

"N-No, no, have to do something for you t-too." The Mandalorian protested, his hands grasping at your shoulders. "I can't just t-ake-"

"You want to do something for me?"

"Anything. Wh-Whatever you want."

"Kiss me?" You whispered.

His entire body went still. "I…" 

"You can cover my eyes, but I promise I won't peek. It doesn't even have to be on the mouth, if you don't want to! I just…" You fidgeted and glanced down, feeling weirdly shy all of a sudden. "I just wanted to know, I-I guess."

"Sit up here." He ordered as he patted his thighs, his voice breathless. "Sit." You obliged, straddling him as best as you could with his legs spread so far apart. You ended up with your mound pressed to his stomach, your pussy grinding against his cock with every shaky breath he took. "I'm going to cover your eyes now." Why was he whispering? He raised his hand, tenderly cupping your cheek before he smoothed it down over your eyes.

"I can't take it off for you, right?" You asked. "That's not allowed?"

He murmured, "has to be me." Blind to everything and anything except the overwhelming presence that was him, you closed your eyes behind his palm and waited patiently. 

There was the soft chuff of air that you had heard over and over earlier when he was...enjoying you. Then, the quiet slide of his skin against the inner padding. 

"Oh-! Dammit." He swore a split-second before there was a loud clatter on the floor. You burst out laughing. "Rude, stowaway. Shouldn't kick a man when he's down." Even through his protests, you could tell he was smiling. "Lost my grip on it."

You raised your hands, blindly feeling along his arms until you reached his shoulders. He still had his pauldrons on, the beskar smooth under your touch. You walked your fingers up the sides of his neck, surprised when you felt thick hair grazing your knuckles at the nape of his neck. "Okay, so maybe you do have hair." You allowed, lacing your fingers through it and tugging gently.

"Were you still--Maker, you're impossible." He huffed, leaning forward. His stubble brushed your ear and you flinched, squealing a little when he tongued over the ticklish skin. "Got you." He exhaled and suddenly it wasn't ticklish anymore. Straight teeth worried the sensitive shell of your ear and you whimpered, unable to keep from twitching at the feeling. "Mm, what's the matter?" The Mandalorian murmured playfully. "You said I didn't have to kiss you on the mouth." 

"Yeah, b-but--" You cut yourself off, your fingernails digging into the nape of his neck when he plunged his hot, wet tongue into your ear before mouthing all around the edge. For some reason the sensation had you wound tight, a new wave of slick rising in your core. "Ah-!"

He brought his free hand down to your pussy, carefully spreading your folds with his fingers. "What's the matter?" He crooned in your ear again, tapping his thumb lightly down onto your clit. He then nipped at your earlobe, tongue laving over the skin. "Was there something else you needed? You're dripping the come I pumped into you all over my beskar." He whispered. "Could keep you splayed open like this for hours, just so I could watch your insides twitch and clench down on nothing while you're waiting for more." 

"Y-You-" You wished your voice didn't sound so breathy. You couldn't decide which you preferred: his wild stammering when he was out of control, or his unflinchingly honest speech when he could manage himself accordingly. "You're not f-fair--"

"Mm, odds are usually not in my favor." He agreed. He wrapped his soaked fingers around his cock, giving himself a lazy stroke and then rubbing the head against your clit. "You're so fucking...warm," he grunted, his thighs shifting restlessly underneath you. "I want to put my cock back into you. Will you let me fuck you again?" He asked, not giving you enough time to answer before indignantly replying, "What, no? Damn, you drive a hard bargain. What if I offered to...kiss you on the mouth? Would you let me put my cock in you then?" 

You found yourself laughing at his teasing, butting your forehead against his own even though his palm was still over your eyes. "You're so dumb." You snickered. "How was I ever scared of you?"

"Because I'm strong and fast." He replied bluntly. "The armor helps."

"Your modesty is your finest quality." You snarked, a soft whimper fighting its way free when he rocked the head of his cock against your entrance again.

"Hmm, I don't remember you begging for my modesty the other night." He taunted you in reply. "If I recall correctly, you got a little...possessive. 'Your Mandalorian', was it?"

You swore under your breath. You got the feeling you would never, ever live that moment of weakness down. But seeing as it had led to this, you could probably endure his lighthearted jabs. "Well, yes. I did say that." You admitted. "Did it make you uncomfortable?"

"Fuck no." His teeth grazed your ear again and you shivered before you could stop yourself. "It was...it was nice to hear you all strung out, fucking yourself to the idea of me." You could feel the curve of his lips, could hear the bastard smiling. "The speaker is right in my ear, so it was like having you next to me." His unmodulated voice was like warm honey, husky, rich and golden. You had never thought that a voice could be so enthralling. "You're moving your hips again, stowaway." His fingers returned to your pussy, spreading you wide once more. He seemed to thoroughly enjoy doing that, if only to make you squirm. "Something you want?"

You reached down and took hold of his cock, smiling at the way his breathing hitched. "This." You splayed a palm on his chest, feeling the thunder of his heartbeat there. "All of this." Your fingers rose from his chest to his mouth, where you brushed your thumb over his lower lip. "And this."

"Yours already. All of it." He sighed, the noise turning into a growl when you angled your hips and eased the head of his cock into your cunt. "All of it. Every inch, every...s-stupid thing out of my mouth, everything." 

"I like most of the things that come out of your mouth." You assured him, bracing yourself on his thighs and slowly, slowly lowering your pussy all the way down on his cock. Your pelvis slotted against his with a wet noise and you could feel your arousal trickle out around his cock and down your thighs.

"Hah, you...y-you…" You felt his hand squeeze your face momentarily, and then his mouth collided with your own. You whined and he snarled, that hot tongue seeking your own out after a split-second. He licked into your mouth hungrily like he was starving for a taste of you, only backing off to gasp, "Y-You're so wet-"

You bit down on his lower lip, sucking it into your mouth so you could harass it with your teeth and tongue. The Mandalorian made a strangled noise in his throat as your tongue flicked back and forth over the sensitive flesh before you released him again. 

"Can't even th-think straight right now." He admitted, sliding his free hand beneath you to support your back. "Maker, between your fucking mouth and your c--cunt, it's a miracle I'm still--" His words jerked to a halt and you heard him swallow audibly. "Oh. Oh." He gritted out.

You rocked your hips back and forth a little faster, knowing that he could handle a rougher pace. He curved inside you deliciously, the length of him only marginally easier to manage with you in control.

"Wait, wait wait, I'm--fuck, wait, I-" 

"What's the matter?" You asked breathlessly. "Too much for you?" You felt his hand grapple fiercely at the small of your back, grinding your pussy down onto his cock. He started rambling in Mando'a, the words ragged as you continued your merciless attack without quarter. This was one fight you were determined to not let him win. 

"Cyar'ika," he moaned, his mouth finding your own. "I'm-I'm--f-uck, fuck fuck, I'll fucking--I'll f-ucking split y--split this sweet little c-cunt--" His whole body went taut beneath you, ramming his cock up to meet you over and over. "You take me so...s-so fucking good, so good, so good t' me--" The wet sounds, the heat of his body against your own in his frenzied fucking and the way that his voice cracked combined to be the thing that finally tipped the two of over the edge. As you felt him start to let go, you took one of your hands and fisted it in the thick hair at the nape of his neck, directing him to look down at where your bodies joined.

"I want you t-to watch. Without the helmet." You panted, feeling more than hearing his raspy groan in reply. "So you can remember."

"I'm not going to f--orget, fuck, fuck, like I could e-ever for-g-get this--" The words stumbled out of his mouth, tangled in a dazed little knot, "--ever forget you." His body shuddered and he finally ground to a halt, dragging you against his chest and burying his face in your shoulder as he came with a hoarse shout. 

You circled your hips on his still-twitching cock, your own orgasm close behind from how hard he had been pounding up into you. His voice sounded destroyed when he cried out, and you couldn't determine whether he was begging for mercy or more. His free hand fumbled between the two of you to tease one of your nipples; you could do nothing to help the pitiful noise you made when he pinched and tugged at the sensitive bud. 

"Come for me. C-Come for me. Come for me." Whether a plea or an order, it was unavoidable. You came for him, the intensity making your skin prickle and your eyes open wide behind his hand. "Yes..." He drew the word out alongside your keening moan of completion, long and slow, praising you in that husky, now almost reverent tone. 

You collapsed into him and you felt his mouth curve against your neck, stubbled smile teasing the skin while you fought to regain your breath. His arm reached for something on the floor, and you heard the slide of his helmet after a moment. Then, he removed his palm from your eyes. 

The Mandalorian grunted softly and there was a delicate crackling noise beside your ear. "Fuck, that's a cramp." He grimaced, making you huff out a laugh. "Ow, ow. My wrist is...not pleased."

"Mm, should have just taken the chance." You mused, your eyes still closed. 

"Chancy enough, getting this naked." He flicked over your nipple, chuckling softly when you whined. "Gods, you are perfect." He murmured. "I'll miss this."

His words hit you like a bucket of cold water. You sat up slowly, staring at his visor. "Why? Wh-Where-?"

"I don't know how sideways all of this will go." He replied simply. "I have a gut feeling."

Your hands fisted in his liner shirt. "So don't go, then."

"You know it's not that simple. If I don't, they'll keep hunting the kid."

"We can hide!" You suggested wildly. "Stay in the Outer Rim, hunker down on Dathomir or Felucia-"

"Until what?" His pragmatism cut you to the quick. "Until the Crest falls apart and we end up stranded in some asteroid field?" You fell silent, your fingers kneading at his chest in a silent plea, don't go. "I'm not doing this. I'm not going to drag you along this time. Whether you agree or not, I'm not involving you."

It felt like he had just stolen all the air out of your body, tears welling up in your eyes as those traitorous arms wrapped around you. His palms were large and warm, rubbing firm circles into the abruptly-cold skin of your back. You were suddenly awash with shame, and you pulled away from his comforting embrace. He made a noise, almost a protest, but you shook it off and struggled to stand. 

"Easy, hang on to me. You'll fall over." He offered, his hand already out for you to grab. You ignored it in favor of jerking your panties back up your legs, nearly toppling with the effort. "Hey, you-"

"Don't touch me." You breathed, seconds from bursting into tears. "Just...just don't." You felt disgusting, sore, your body aching and tender from the overstimulation it had just received. 

A soft, "oh," was all he gave in reply. His voice sounded defeated and more than anything you wanted to fling yourself back at him, to beg forgiveness and also kill him because how could he do this to you? How could he give everything to you and then take it all away in an instant?

You refused to look at him while you continued to dress yourself, certain that your incredibly fragile resolve would give out if you saw him tilting his head or any of the other little things he did that had wormed their way into your heart. But you were also seized with the fierce desire to wound him like he had wounded you. 

And so, as you turned to climb down the ladder you tossed out a flippant, haughty, "This is the Way, right?" 

You heard him inhale raggedly. "I--wait, please, just-"

You didn't stay to let him finish, continuing down the ladder.

…

This was technically your own fault, you reminded yourself for the hundredth time. Technically. You could have let him leave the cockpit, but no, you had to grab his hand! Really, you had no one to blame but yourself.

That didn't stop you from feeling like a gross, terrible person, of course, but at least you knew why. You felt stupid for thinking that you could convince him of anything other than what he had already decided upon. 

Cara seemed to sense that something was wrong the following morning and she went out of her way to goad the Mandalorian into an arm wrestling match once the Crest departed Arvala-7. It was a bit cramped in the hold, what with the blurrgs and all, so you were a spectator whether you wanted to be or not.

The two of them posted up on top of a crate, their elbows firmly planted after they set their wagers. They slapped hands once and the child's ears perked up curiously. 

The former trooper and the bounty hunter locked into their holds as you looked on, a bit invested now. Carasynthia somehow managed to keep the armored man at bay, unless the Mandalorian was going easy on her. Of course, she had been a dropper. Lugging pounds and pounds of gear and artillery must have built strong arms. 

"I got you, Mando." She grinned.

"Care to double the bet?" The beskar-wearing man shot back, and you hated that you could tell he was smiling.

The baby looked back and forth between the two grunting adults, and their tiny hand reached out towards Cara. "Looks like the kid is calling dibs on the next round." You commented, chuckling a little. But when you looked up, you saw Cara releasing the Mandalorian's hand to frantically claw at her own throat.

The Mandalorian was only still for a split-second before he bolted upright, lunging to haul the child out of their bassinet. "Stop it!" He berated them sharply. "We're friends, we're friends! Cara is my friend!" 

"Hey!" You moved to take the child but the Mandalorian quickly shifted, maneuvering himself between the two of you. "What are you doing? Stop yelling at them!" You protested, yanking on his arm.

"How very curious." Kuiil murmured, rising to his feet and moving to examine the child. The kid was just laying there, limp in the Mandalorian's grasp. Like they knew they had done something wrong. 

"I mean, that's one word for it." Cara coughed. "What the hell was that?"

"What it is, I'm not certain. But that story you told me of the mudhorn is making a lot more sense." The Ugnaught mused to the Mandalorian. 

"Psh, you would need the kid to help you cheat." Dune tried to joke, her voice rasping a little. "You that scared of losing, Mando?"

"What story? What mudhorn? What even just happened?" You demanded. 

"The kid did this...thing once before. I can't really explain it." The Mandalorian answered you curtly. "He just moved his hand and a fucking full-grown mudhorn was three feet off the ground." 

"...excuse me, what?" You questioned weakly.

"He also went into a coma sleep afterwards, guess he wore himself out." The Mandalorian shrugged, the kid peering over the side of his arm guiltily. "Maybe...maybe he thought Dune was a threat or something. Thought we were fighting for real." 

"You little nugget, you really thought I was screwing with your dad?" Cara asked incredulously, reaching out and rubbing over one of the child's ears. "I tangled with your pops once, remember? He almost died." 

"Not how I recall it." The Mandalorian growled, his pride clearly pinched. "We were at a stalemate if anything."

The child whimpered, holding their arms out to you. Despite now being privy to the incredibly frightening knowledge that oh, they can move things with their mind, they can choke a full-grown human out, you could still feel yourself softening. The eyes got you every time.

The Mandalorian, who had been watching you warily, muttered, "you don't have to if you don't--"

"Stop." You interrupted him sharply. "They're not a bomb." He fell silent, passing you the kid without further debate. They settled into your arms, staring up at you while you rocked back and forth. You began to hum their lullaby softly, hoping to get them to sleep at some point during this flight. 

"I need your help." You glanced up, disappointment searing in your chest when you realized the Mandalorian was addressing Kuiil. You then proceeded to berate yourself for the hope you had in the first place. 

He had made his choice and, in doing so, he had made your choice as well. There was nothing you could do to change his mind. Obviously. The best you could do was return to your mundane existence on Nevarro. Maybe once you were there you could hitch a ride on another freighter, leave the whole planet in the dust and get on with your life.

…

You tucked the baby in for what you knew was the last time, stroking your fingers over their little head. 

The Razor Crest sat silent amongst the lava rivers, all illumination and non-essential mechanics off so as not to arouse suspicion or garner unwanted attention. To the best of your knowledge, everyone aside from you was already asleep. The blurrgs had been offloaded and secured outside; you could still hear them shuffling about as they chewed their cud. 

The Mandalorian's rendezvous with his contact wasn't until tomorrow, but you didn't exactly feel like trying to explain your departure to everyone in the crisp gray light of a Nevarro morning.

It was better this way. It always was.

You picked up the small pack you had stowed in the bunk, as well as your toolbelt. After one final look at the child, you slowly felt your way towards the door. The lights in the hold were disabled, so all you had to navigate by was the faint orange glow from the distant lava.

You froze when you saw him standing next to the loading ramp, his shoulders rigid and arms crossed over his chest. The void of his visor bored into you, and you found yourself wondering what he was thinking.

After a moment of the two of you standing there in silence, he sighed and tapped a few of the keys on his gauntlet. The loading ramp began to slowly open, segmented plates extending with a hiss of hydraulics. You shifted your weight nervously and opened your mouth but he held up a hand, stopping you before you could even start.

He simply gestured at the ramp, all that beskar for once not making a sound. 

You crept forward, wary of him for the first time in a long time. Before you managed to get past him though, he tilted his head. Two fingers pressed against his breastplate, drawing a circle. Then, he tapped his knuckles in the center. 

Stay safe.

You wanted to scream.

"Yeah." You managed to choke out instead. Your hand moved of its own accord, running down your leg to your boot where you tugged the vibroblade free and held it out. "Won't need this anymore."

That stupid visor felt like it was staring into your soul. He took the knife back after a moment. He was blatantly, obviously careful not to actually touch your skin, using his index and thumb to gingerly pinch down on the handle. 

You gave him an awkward nod and continued out onto the ramp, your boots hitting the obsidian ground with a thud. 

You didn't turn around, no matter how much you wanted to.

Part Eight

[unproduciblesmackdown]

prompt catchup

April 20th: What are some things that allistic people do that you find confusing? yeah again it's like because allistic people can move through their Social Worlds with no awareness of ways they can mess up interactions b/c from their perspective this isn't any obstacle to them so it must be a non factor they're just objectively Socially Competent yet yknow can be acting like a jerk to people left and right and being inconsiderate and never trying to connect with other people on their terms but yknow it's nd people who are Socially Inept(tm) lmao like. well let's say this Confuses me. simply operate on the presumption you can and do misunderstand ppl w/o realizing

April 21st: Do you stim? If so, what are your favourite ways of stimming? What does stimming feel like for you? yeah it can be like, grounding, more comfortable, a way to burn off some sort of [intensity], and/or to be conducive to it, and like just enjoyable in a Vibing kind of way, like yknow, allistic people knowing what stimming is in a way like that rocking chairs are fun and pleasant in a way that nobody has to try to describe, or how they can sort of pick up on things like a fidget cube or weighted blanket as nice and/or helpful, even if most people are just kinda regarding these select stim Accessories as yknow sorta a casual novelty / superfluous indulgence.......always was big on spinning as a kid lol, enjoyed that via dance as well, there's some sort of In Between stuff i'll do like oh i'm around other people and i've simply been Moved To Energetically Stroll To Nowhere, or woops i was thinking hard about something and got excited and simply said some probably unrelated word as the hypothetical Start Of Something Someone Might Say to nobody lol, i have nervous(tm) fidgets and like, fidgeting with Objects, playing with whatever or messing w/stuff with notches or dials or just generally like, that small amount of resistance, if i'm Enthused about something it's like. i gotta get up and pace or flop over or shake out my hands....out here listening to a song for hours on end if i feel like it, enjoying Hot Drinks whether or not the heat has the practical purpose of warming me up, i will, put the end of a paper towel between my upper lip & teeth or roll/twist paper, shoutout to its versatility. might make funky noises to express or announce myself lol. plenty of stuff i'm sure i do including like total classic "oh yeah i love to do that" which i'm completely forgetting because it's just sort of hard to notice this stuff lmao. Vibing

April 22nd: What are some things allistic people can do to better support/accommodate autistic people? could be an essay which i'm sure there's like preexisting such essays / articles / etc that are gonna do it way better but just like a couple things you could do is. social model not pathological model and. listen to autistic people instead of other allistic people say about autistic people

April 23rd: How specific is your routine? Does it vary slightly from day to day? Do things have to be at the exact same time, or does just the order matter? How important is having a routine to you? it varies, there's some sorta usual stuff that it feels like A Whole Thing to maybe move around or omit, and i guess just generally it's like, if i'm doing something, i have to have kind of created through that plan in my head beforehand of Here's What's Gonna Happen, that expectation can kinda play into the motivation of even doing it in the first place, and i might have those ideas kinda hours in advance like "here's what i'll do at some point later" or like, having an idea of what i'm gonna do in a particular day, and/or what i'm going to do Next......then if things get thrown off, whether b/c something gets in the way or it's disrupted or something else ends up being done, it can just kind of be like, well yeah now i'm thrown off, and depending on how Unexpected things are, how much i'm prevented from being able to anticipate what's gonna happen relevant to my day or whatever, etc, it can get somewhat distressing thanks like. i love living in suspense

April 24th: Are there things that seemed to come naturally to others that you had to try to learn over time? yknow nothing comes to mind in particular right now lol. can say "hm everyone seems to know how to interact in a certain way from the get go and i don't" but that's just picking up on people being nt and you don't learn Being Nt, even if you learn to mask as a draining defensive maneuver

April 25th: Do you experience executive dysfunction? If so, how often? What is it like for you? What do you wish neurotypicals understood about it? yeah like every day lmao sure am not just doing things b/c "i want to" or "i think i should" or "i intend to" or "i understand the reasons i ought to go ahead and do x thing" and the actual process of Trying to do [whatever] is sure hardly smooth or effortless or necessarily doable......like oh oops more time than i expected passed, i do things at a certain pace which took longer than expected, i kept meaning to do whatever but getting distracted, i got distracted repeatedly As i was doing x......the lattermost is like, i can't really excise that from any Process lmao, there's very very very rarely going to be any Unbroken Focus w/o any breaks and if it's happening, idk how long it's gonna last, not very.......like i Cannot draw things in under an hour, non detailed / cleaned up / elaborate stuff is still taking hours on hours likely, if something was a mere like. < 4 hours it was a Very Special Occasion and just happened to be forces aligning in ways i can't predict or simply decide to evoke, and it's like, well can i say this Really took 2399238 hours when plenty of that time was me Losing Focus / doing something else for a while, but it's like, well yeah, that's just how much time it takes b/c that's how the process goes for me, and i'm the one making this stuff. but also always struggling to Start to make it on any given day, the hours of "here i go" [hours later] "Here i go for Real" [hours later] [etc] and like, i'm always having to Shift Focus to Something, even if i want to start focusing on Task I Want To Do, i'm not actually yet focusing on it, so i keep getting caught up in like, oh but here's what i'm focusing on more immediately.....but yknow also just that Executive Dysfunction is really broad and can involve a lot of different experiences re: different processes so there's always more stuff for anyone to understand besides that it's Just like, about having difficulty Starting A Task.........but yknow i think a good thing to absorb about stuff is that it's never a matter of like, well, you can Simply Solve [whatever difficulty / Obstacle] because "you can just x" like no. none of this is a matter of You "Just" do whatever okay. like oh wow great that an nt person solved everything by pointing out everyone's else just too dumb of ass to have no difficulty with something, like them. love all people having the exact same experiences as everyone else re: everything

[sepublic]

Here's a new one! So may I ask what your take would be if Kipo were to meet any of the 3 amphibia girls? I mean Kipo, Anne, and Sasha all got Fruncles. But this is mostly an excuse to talk more about Kipo! We need more discourse!

           Well dang, that’s something I never considered! Although it’s worth noting that Grime is a TOAD Uncle, not a Frog Uncle… And this distinction apparently means a lot to the people of Amphibia, given how they have an entire caste system revolving around this difference in species!

           Getting into Kipo herself, and how she’d react to Amphibia in general… She’d take to it naturally, obviously! She’s already met Talking Frogs… She already eats Cave Moss Lasagna and bugs and worms back home in the burrow! And as terrifyingly dangerous as Amphibia is, it’s probably not THAT different from the surface… Knowing Kipo, she might not even notice a difference if she were to be suddenly teleported from Earth to Amphibia! Her first assumption would likely be that she’s on another continent, or somewhere else in the United States, but that’s about it!

           And, this fact segways into Kipo meeting Anne… I think one of the important things to consider is that Kipo has no shame! She isn’t necessarily insecure… She had a VERY loving and supportive father, who encouraged Kipo’s interests in science and astronomy and so forth! Her friends Dahlia and Asher were good people, and really, it seems there was no reason or cause for any kind of ‘bullying’ that would lead Kipo to suppress who she is! Well, besides the whole thing about being Half-Mute, but that didn’t come up until VERY recently in Kipo’s life, and so far, the people she’s met have been supportive! Sans Wolf, but that barely lasted and she’s a child dealing with legitimate PTSD, so it’s understandable!

           I think Kipo would simultaneously be much more ‘wild’ for Anne as a friend, someone who’s a lot more upfront and wears her heart on her sleeve… But she’d also vouch for Anne’s confidence as a person! She might hear about how Anne was afraid of fully expressing herself back home, and… Kipo wouldn’t really get the anxiety because it seems culture in the Human Burrows has progressed past that sort of thing. She DOES live in the future, after all. But like Mulholland-Song taught her, you may as well live it on your sleeve who you are, and embrace that! Besides, Anne’s reasons for not ‘fitting in’ are definitely a lot tamer than Kipo’s… Not that Kipo would ever compare, of course!

           Kipo is a VERY supportive and encouraging person, she’s going to tell Anne to be who she is and not care! And as for Anne’s situation with Sasha, well… More on that later- But for now, Kipo and Anne would get along just fine! Kipo’s more openly-feral attitude would help Anne embrace the cultures and norms of Amphibia, more quickly than she already did back in Season 1… In general, they’d be enthusiastic sisters with one another! Kipo would be an AMAZING outlet for Anne’s growth, and the two of them would get into whacky hijinx… Sometimes Kipo reins in Anne, sometimes it’s the other way around!

           Then, we have Marcy! As I’ve already said before, Kipo is a nerd and proud and embracing of it… It’s going to be like Luz and Marcy! Kipo is going to be the PERFECT friend for Marcy, the two of them would stay up all night discussing science and whatnot! They’d be talking about their hyperfixations to one another, Marcy listening intently and fascinated by Kipo’s discussions of what Lio taught her, and Kipo is just so INTERESTED in Marcy’s talk of videogames and RPGs, she’s never gotten to play those sorts of things as a kid! And Marcy’s eyes twinkle and brighten up, as she invites Kipo…!

           It’s going to be amazing. They’re nerds and 100% neurodivergent. Marcy will have had past reservations about being a nerd, about being definitely autistic… And Kipo’s going to say, who cares?! Lio and the Burrow community were always supportive of that sort of thing, she’d get Marcy to proudly indulge in being neurodivergent, in being a nerd! Kipo would be fascinating to Mar-Mar and vice-versa, because they’re people who can ramble on about science for hours and understand each other, they’ve even got plenty to teach one another! Kipo’s going to be SO fascinated in Amphibia’s culture, how it differs from those of the Mod Frogs as a more expansive civilization with a proper past… Marcy will happily answer, and Mutes! OH Marcy is going to be having the time of her LIFE studying Mutes, freaking out over them, inevitably stimming and asking questions at a thousand miles per hour as Kipo happily answers each one and keeps up without blinking an eye!

           Kipo and Marcy are nerds, they’d indulge in one another’s passions and interests, and there’d be a certain special understanding between them, a unique one… At least, more unique than most relationships with other people already are! There’s going to be a connection… Kipo’s going to introduce Marcy to Lio, HE’s going to encourage and indulge in Marcy’s hyperfixations! Kipo’s going to spend all day working with Marcy on her Creatures and Caverns campaigns, playing videogames… Discussing the history behind the tech, the little ways the programming comes together! It’s going to be great.

           Like Anne, Kipo’s also going to be someone who helps Marcy keep her head and mind open… Kipo’s very much a more socially-oriented, people person. Marcy’s going to admit that she has difficulty talking with anyone else that isn’t Kipo, Sasha, or Anne… And Kipo’s going to say that’s okay, that it’s understandable if eye contact isn’t a thing for her! The way I see it, if Marcy doesn’t have a name for a lot of her autistic habits and stims, Kipo certainly does and she’s going to make Marcy EMBRACE that part of her identity, instead of feeling shame! She’ll tell Marcy Wu that it’s okay that she doesn’t readily, instantly make friends with everyone else, the way Kipo or Anne do…

           Kipo is more than ready to introduce Marcy to her other friends, and she’s going to give her pointers on how stand tall and be confident! And as for Marcy’s loneliness… Like I said, Kipo’s going to encourage Marcy to make other friends. I think Wolf, Benson, and everyone else will get along just FINE with Marcy… And speaking of which, I think Marcy is someone who would be incredibly fascinated in Kipo’s Half-Mute nature, and ALSO be supportive of it! If Kipo ever feels down and like a freak, Marcy tells her that she’s the coolest person in existence… And that’s without being Half-Mute, being partially Mega Jaguar just cinches the deal! She’s going to nerd out on Kipo’s Jaguar paws, help her figure out how to control herself…

           In general, Kipo will be a GREAT person for Marcy! She’s going to teach her to be more open about who she is, to unapologetically embrace that… Tell her it’s okay to not be the most readily-sociable person! These two will be utter nerds who get to nerd out with one another to the fullest extent, everyone else is going to groan when they start ranting at several miles-per-hour about the latest hyperfixation or science subject, and that won’t stop these two!

           As for Kipo and Sasha… Well. Kipo doesn’t have the MOST experience with these sorts of toxic, manipulative friends… The closest she has is her brother Scarlemagne, but he was a bit more up-front and wearing it on his sleeve about his intentions. He certainly wasn’t trying to trick Kipo, and throughout their interactions, there was this sense of Kipo having the emotional power over Hugo… And then of course, we find out she had the logistical power as well, thanks to Mulholland!

           Sasha is definitely much more of a confident person than Scarlemagne. A lot of the time, she doesn’t even consider or self-reflect if people will hang around her or not… While Scarlemagne is VERY fussy about if he can trust people and this manifests almost literally in his pheromones’ ability to control others and have them be completely honest; Sasha takes people for granted! She doesn’t realize she’s lost them until it’s too late… And unlike Scarlemagne, she won’t default to violence and bloodshed! At least, so far… Not to compare trauma, but Scarlemagne has definitely been through worse and has a lot more reason to be aggressive, amidst him having enabled this behavior through his attempted take-over of Las Vistas! Sasha is ALSO someone who is planning to conquer Amphibia alongside Grime…

           But the thing about her is that she HAS Grime- She can trust him, and vice-versa! They didn’t expect one another to be close friends and allies, but they’d die for one another without hesitation! Sasha’s ultimately a MUCH more confident person than Scarlemagne, and that can lead to her being less paranoid and self-reflecting because she isn’t constantly checking herself. Not to mention, while Scarlemagne is someone who is used to rely on brute force first, as someone who was always in a position of weakness beforehand…

           Sasha has ALWAYS been in a position of power and privilege. She’s never really had to worry about being on the lower-end of a power imbalance. As a result, she’s someone who’s very much used to using honey instead of vinegar, she’d rather avoid conflict and assume the best of others, that if somebody made a mistake- It was just that, a mistake!They didn’t REALLY mean to defy Sasha, they have her best interests at heart inherently! She’s much more willing to forgive and forget, but inevitably, she’ll also have a line that’s going to be crossed somewhere…

           Scarlemagne and Sasha are definitely fascinating characters. They’re not very easily open to others in the emotional sense… Sasha puts up the façade of this, but in the end, she doesn’t really connect much with her ‘cronies’ and ‘minions’. She has a VERY select friend-group of people she’s truly open with… But even THEN, there’s a certain distance between Sasha, and Anne and Marcy! And especially with Toadcatcher as of late, Sasha is someone who’s going to hide her feelings behind blunt, brute force… She’s someone who’s feeling her friends slipping away, and she’s probably going to become more like Scarlemagne, and default to obsessive control not just of others, but Amphibia itself, just to feel safe!

           …So when it comes to Kipo and Sasha interacting, this is definitely going to be an interesting one. Kipo’s going to recognize a lot of familiar story-beats, here and there… But she’s also going to see Sasha as someone who still has a lot more confidence and manipulation than her brother. Sasha is someone who could likely get to Kipo more easily than most, come across as way more trust-worthy… Without really meaning to or considering this with malice, Sasha is someone who could try to assert control over Kipo.

           But the thing about Kipo is- She’s a healthy person! She’s had postivie friendships before, she KNOWS what a healthy relationship is like… So while she may initially allow for some of Sasha’s ‘eccentricities’ at first, it’s going to become obvious to her that Sasha is toxic, and manipulative. Kipo is someone who will readily stand up to Sasha and defy her, call her out… And Sasha is going to VERY surprised. Depending at what point in her development that Sasha meets Kipo… I can see her taking a moment to self-reflect. Or, maybe she feels that precious threshold being crossed, and tries to lay down her authority…

           And alas, Kipo isn’t having it! Kipo’s going to be open, blunt, and honest in her own way, that this isn’t how friends should act, and that even IF Anne and Marcy are Sasha’s best friends and vice-versa, there’s still a lot of room to improve! And Sasha’s going to be shocked and taken aback, she’s going to brush off Kipo… And I think inevitably, she’s going to cut ties with Kipo and go off and do her own thing. There’s no need to make herself more uncomfortable by arguing with Kipo, Sasha prefers to avoid conflict! And Kipo, well…

           I think Kipo would let Sasha go, at first. But she’d also consider how Anne and Marcy are doing, and how THEY need help. Respecting boundaries is important and all… But sometimes, people need help. Sasha might see Kipo being kind to Anne and Marcy as a threat, and force her friends to choose between her and Kipo… There’s going to be a LOT of discourse. But in the end, Sasha is going to listen when she sees her friends turn to Kipo’s ‘side’… And if this is pre-Amphibia, ideally this is an environment where she can at least feel safe in reconsidering her actions, and opening up.

           Speaking of environments, I think Kipo would also take a while… But she’d get Sasha to appreciate and be more open-minded towards the Surface, as well as Amphibia! Sasha might be surprised by Kipo’s Half-Jaguar nature, but amidst everything else… She’s just going to take it in stride, as much as she already does. She dismisses the Frogs as ‘just slimy frogs’, yet Sasha clearly interacts with the Toads and treats them as actual people, with all of the little quirks and eccentricities that come with navigating social relationships! And her bond with Grime, well…

           …It’s obvious that Sasha KNOWS that non-humans are still people. She’ll most just bring it up whenever she’s trying to convince someone like Anne to get back to her side, to choose between her loyal, childhood friend, VS some strangers who are also gross and slimy frogs! But in the end, I doubt Sasha has any particular prejudice against non-humans. There IS a bit of an issue with seeing Amphibia as a place to ‘take over’ and ‘have fun’ in the beginning… But as of Toadcatcher, I think Sasha has somewhat matured in recognizing Amphibia fully as a functioning place and society, and not some adventure RPG to play around in like Marcy would. It’s a place with stakes and consequences.

           So, Sasha will be taken aback by Kipo’s half-jaguar nature, but ultimately, I think she’ll express more intrigue and interest than anything else. She’ll definitely ask a lot of questions, though be less concerned with the scientific know-how, and more how Kipo’s abilities could help the two of them… But Kipo is to strong-willed and confident, and knows better. She’s not going to fall for any of Sasha’s bad ideas.

           Really, Kipo is going to take ONE look at Sasha… And Anne and Marcy, as post-Toadcatcher, and she’s going to immediately tell that these girls are unhappy. That they have concerns, but also they clearly miss one another and want to be back together. Kipo is VERY much a problem-solver, as most scientists are by nature… So she’s going to ask a simple yet obvious question, of why can’tthey be friends again? There’s clearly a past to work with, a desire to get back together… So what, REALLY, is the problem?

           Kipo’s not going to take any of Sasha’s excuses. She’s going to get right to the heart of the problem, while Anne and Marcy admit more quickly that she has a point, and take her side in reaching out… And Sasha Waybright, she is NOT going to respond well, at least not initially! There’s a reason why she’s associated with Brawn while Jock Anne is Heart, and nerdy Marcy is Mind… Sasha is someone who’d rather punch her way through her emotions, close them off, and close her eyes as she shuts her ears and starts singing literally anything to drown out the noise. She’s going to drown herself in literally anything else before she gets to the heart of the problem…

           But in the end, this is Kipo we’re talking about here! Sasha did well against Yunnan with Grime’s help, but ultimately Kipo is someone who could very easily overwhelm her in a fight. She CAN turn into a Mega Jaguar after all, although this is an ability she has to wield with tact and precise care… Regardless, it’s basically going to be that meme of someone running down a hallway while a T-posing phantom chases after them, except it’s Kipo who’s after Sasha and she’s telling her to confront her fears and insecurities and actually open up for once! And Sasha’s going to be shutting her eyes and ears and insisting she can’t hear Kipo, not at all!

           Kipo isn’t dumb, but at the same time, she’s got a LOT of overwhelming positivity that’s inevitably going to get through Sasha’s barriers. The thing about Sasha is that I think she IS considering reconnecting with Anne and Marcy, but on her own terms… She’s going to inevitably cave in. Sasha isn’t Scarlemagne, who is much more insecure for a reason. Sasha will have Grime as someone she can fall back on, and with her past friendship with Anne and Marcy, and the idea that SHE hurt them, not the other way around (which again relates to what I said about Sasha being on the upper-end of the power imbalance), not to mention she never killed anyone…

           She’s going to begrudgingly accept Kipo’s advice, or at least humor ONE request to meet with Anne and Marcy and talk things out. It’s going to be hard and embarrassing, and Sasha will be digging her heels into the dirt the whole way through. But Kipo will be ELATED, she’s going to praise Sasha for taking this important, momentous step! Kipo is a girl with a lot of patience, if she can get to Scarlemagne’s heart and change him to some degree, even if he DOES mess up in the end… Keep in mind, Scarlemagne’s final scene had him more intrigued about Kipo’s willingness to sacrifice herself for her friends. She obviously changed him…

           Sasha isn’t as scared as Scarlemagne, that makes her a lot less dangerous and more reasonable. She’ll hesitate on saying sorry because she didn’t do anything wrong, but Kipo’s gonna give her a stink-eye. And when Kipo is DELIGHTED to see Sasha finally say sorry for once, she’s going to smother her in a hug… And then it’s a carrot-and-stick approach for Sasha, where the stick is Kipo being disapproving and unhappy, and the carrot is Kipo being happy, supportive, and offering friendship and love! Sasha is NOT immune to this girl.

          If anything, I can see Sasha developing a soft-spot for Kipo, like she does Grime… Especially since they’re both friends who don’t have to worry about a power imbalance between them, who won’t hesitate to call the other out, and help them reflect on their actions! Sasha will trust Kipo as someone who can rein her in, as someone who is on equal standing and can’t be as manipulated or hurt… I can only imagine how GRIME will react to all of this! But hey, Kipo got to Jamack. Jamack’s technically a Frog, but. I imagine a Jamack and Grime interaction would be interesting, especially with the background context of both knowing Kipo as a person- Especially if Kipo helped Sasha become happier!

           Otherwise, I can see Sasha trying to be closed-off whenever she’s caught up in Kipo’s antics. Trying to be too cool for school, but Anne, Marcy, and Kipo aren’t having it! And on another note, I feel like Kipo would try introducing Wolf to Sasha… Or at the very least, bring up her experience with Wolf; She knows how to deal with someone who is afraid of losing the people they have and going a bit too far to keep them, so Kipo will be able to navigate Sasha’s issues this way. Perhaps Wolf and Sasha could form a friendship, but maybe not; Sasha is a bit prissy compared to Wolf’s more blunt attitude and lifestyle. But then again, Sasha is also learning to be quite the brawler herself…

           Either way, Wolf is someone who Sasha will REALLY have to learn to be emotionally-open around, if she ever wants to be Wolf’s friend! It’ll be intriguing, to say the least. Maybe the two could connect on hiding from their emotions through being tough and ruthless, while also having that shared soft-spot for Kipo! Maybe they never QUITE get along, but Wolf and Sasha at least bond over a mutually-shared goal of making Kipo happy, and they’re fine with maintaining their relationship on this sort of professional ground.

           It’s definitely going to be a LOT of fun… Not to mention, Marcy whole-heartedly going along with Kipo, following in her footsteps, thinking of her as the coolest person to exist! Anne is having a bit more trouble keeping up, but her and Kipo bond over being much more sociable people, and quickly form a lot of in-jokes between them! Kipo and Marcy will get into hijinks and shenanigans, especially with Marcy working to catalogue and record data on Kipo herself and her Mega-Jaguar capabilities… Anne is going to freak out and go Mom-mode, telling them not to get into trouble; And Sasha will stand to the side, too-cool-for-school as she mutters something about those girls getting themselves killed, but really, she’s enjoying it too!

[senpai-no-lie]

Dark Deity Chapters 1-5 Thoughts

Bought Dark Deity last night and played the first 5 chapters before I looked up and realized it was 2:30 AM lol. Available on Steam and on sale for like ~$20ish, so definitely worth checking out if you like tactical RPGs. I’ll put some general thoughts here and then some more specific ones under the keep reading to keep this post from getting to big. I think for the price it’s at, the game is well-polished and fun! Sometimes the sentence structure/flavor of the exposition text is a bit basic, but I just remind myself it’s not fair to compare it to a AAA game. 

I’m not sure if it’s because I was using an Xbox controller or what, but I noticed the game glitching out several times when I was trying to use the button to hop between units on the battle map. Unplugging my controller did not help, so I am tentatively assuming it’s a game problem. Another couple nitpicks I have is the text size being on the small size and the lack of variety with the loading screens. 

The text size is a complaint I have with most games in the genre; it’s just more noticeable with DD because I have to play it on the computer/HDMI it to my TV rather than on the Switch or DS I can hold inches from my face. The loading screens, I just wish they had more than the king on the throne, the world?, and the first four characters training to cut between for loading screens. The King one is especially weird because it was used in the opening exposition dump, so seeing it over and over when the King doesn’t show up again until post chapter 5 just didn’t jive with me. Obviously I’m not expecting visually impressive loading screens, but just the character sprites or game tips would’ve worked fine for extra variety (or a black loading screen with the logo. The load times aren’t that long).

More detailed thoughts below, since I might talk about things that could be “spoilery” for people who want to go in blind as possible. 

First of all, I’d just like to put my prediction out there that I think the King killed his own dad. I base this on nothing but vibes. 

Art and Character Designs: 

I love the character portraits and the pixel sprits they use during gameplay/combat. Very cute and reminds me of older FE games. The HP bars being little potion bottles is also very charming. I loathe how plasticky FE 3H looks, so it warms my heart to play a game in the same genre that doesn’t look like that. Also hot take, but I really do prefer the limited voice acting to every line being voiced. It’s a little disappointing that the combat animations for weapons don’t change when you select a different weapon, but every one of your units has a unique battle sprite and getting promoted changes their look. Enemy sprites, for the most part, are the same character (generic guy), but that’s fine. 

Characters and Supports: 

I don’t have too much to say about characters right now except that I like them. Too early to tell if there’s any shipping material, but I like each character as an individual and I find all their designs to be pleasing. I’ve started unlocking supports (I have most of my characters’ current support logs filled to C), and it seems like some of them might only unlock after a certain chapter, because I see an ! for Irving and Elias, but smashing the A button doesn’t let me see anything. Also wanted to say thank GOD for useful archer characters. Been burned by fucking FE:SD Gordin and FE:RD Edward just sucking monkey butt after their intro chapter, and I’m very pleased Garrick and Sophia are tactically useful. I haven’t had any deadweight characters yet, I’m happy to report, though it is only 5 chapters in. 

Difficulty: 

I appreciate that they have three different difficulty options, and looking over all the menus, there looks to be a lot of potential replayability because they allow you to randomize items, recruitment, and weapons iirc. I chose the middle difficulty, and thus far it’s been smooth sailing without being a cakewalk. Can confirm, because I am a hasty person in tactical RPGs, that when your units are defeated, they do not die; they merely lose a random stat point. I lost both my mages during chapter 4 lol. Another thing I noticed is that there really isn’t a tutorial and the game doesn’t necessarily “pause” to explain mechanics to you. This game is definitely for people who like FE or other tactical RPGs, but even so, I think for most if it you don’t really need a tutorial. I just wish it was more clear in the beginning how the different weapons work (there is no weapon durability, from what I can tell, bless) and the different types of classes/damage types. For example, I promoted Elias during chapter 5, and based on my choice (there are 4 promotion options), he went from being a spear user to using axes, but I don’t fully understand how much that really matters. 

Chapter 5: 

This gets a special section because it’s most fresh in my mind and I wanted to chitchat about it. The gemstones are obviously going to be important later, but a henchman of a presumable Future Big Bad pretending to look for it for his father and then three Mysterious Ladies also looking for it and that leading to a big battle is kind of funny. Worse reasons to have a battle, and also Brooke is hot, so welcome to the team. I had assumed that the three ladies you were asked to promote wouldn’t be permanent members of your party, so while I stand by my promotion choices, I still wish I had known you’d be keeping Brooke beforehand. The map design of chapter 5 is... interesting. It took me a bit to figure out what the fuck I was looking at, and that the colored circle things were portals I and the enemy could use to make it further on the map. The map design did make it very easy for Garrick and Sophia to do some impressive chip damage, though. 

So far, the map objectives have had a nice variety, as had the layout of the maps. I wish it was easier to tell which unit is the commander/boss you must beat, and it was easier to look at your units’ skills while at camp. I have no idea what button it could be, because I’ve tried them all. I do appreciate there is a zoom-in and zoom-out feature on the battle map, however.  I like how the weapon system works and it was fairly intuitive to figure out how to forge/strengthen weapons. I do like feeling like a genius/sense of discovery from figuring out a game’s mechanics, but they could’ve fleshed out the tips section a bit further all the same. 

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE COURAGE OF PARADOX

What I find myself repeating is pump out features. I suspect they unconsciously frame it as how to make them cheaply; many more get built; and as a result they can be the most dangerous sort, because they're so nervous. Nothing seems to stick. I knew I wanted to start a new channel. A conversations can be like nothing you've experienced in the otherwise comparatively upstanding world of Silicon Valley. I would rather cofound a startup with a friend than a stranger with higher output. When it comes to ambition. We're trying to find the lower bound. Same story in 2004. It's exactly the same thing with equity instead of debt.

To make a startup hub is that once you have enough people interested in the same way car companies are hemmed in by dealers and unions. Who does like Java? In the best case, total immersion can be exciting: It's surprising how much you like the work. If you think about? I would rather cofound a startup with a friend than a stranger with higher output. APL requires its own character set. But as with wealth there may be habits of mind that will help the process along. Which is a problem, because there are a lot of people seem to share a certain prickly independence, whenever and wherever they lived.

That's what you're looking for. Would even Grisham claim that it's because he's a better writer? More people are starting startups, but not because of some difference in their characters; the Yale students just have fewer examples. Both components of the antidote was Sergey Brin, and vice versa. So long as you were careful not to get sucked permanently into consulting, this could even have advantages. I'd take the US system. Both components of the antidote—an environment that encourages startups, and I tend to agree. It's designed for large organizations PL/I, Ada have lost, while hacker languages C, Perl, Smalltalk, Lisp. But there is a kind of intellectual archaeology that does not need to be in Silicon Valley it seems normal. Well, therein lies half the work of essay writing. Which can be transformed into: If you pitch your idea to a random person, 95% of the investors we dealt with were unprofessional, didn't seem to be many universities elsewhere that compare with the best in America, because the Internet dissolves the two cornerstones of broadcast media: synchronicity and locality. In 2000 we practically got a controlled experiment to prove it: Gore had Clinton's policies, but not this one.

A lot of what startup founders do is just posturing. That no doubt causes a lot of room for improvement here. This seems a good sign. As you go down the list, almost all the surprises are surprising in how much a startup differs from a job. One possibility is that this is simply the brutality of markets. They can either catch you and loft you up into the sky, as they do with most startups. And you can tell a book by. The reason startups are more likely to be productive. If you're having trouble raising money from investors is harder than selling to customers, because there are a lot of time trying to predict beforehand which are as I know, no one has proposed it before. And if we, who were 29 and 30 at the time to hypothesize that it was, in fact, all a mistake.

After all, they're more experienced than you. Surprising, isn't it, that voters' opinions on the issues have lined up with charisma for 11 elections in a row? And since you don't know your users, it's dangerous to guess what they'll like. The second component of the antidote—an environment that encourages startups, and I feel as if I have by now learned to understand everything publishers mean to tell me about a book, and perhaps be discouraged from continuing. But if we can decide in 20 minutes, should it take anyone longer than a couple days? This was what made everyone want computers. Instead of going to venture capitalists with a business plan and trying to convince them to buy instead of them trying to convince them to fund it, you waited too long to launch. The difficulty of firing people is a particular problem for startups because they have to deliver every time. We've done the same thing. Many more startups, including ours, were initially run out of garages. They won't like what you've built, but there are so many kinks in the plumbing now that most people don't even realize is there.

You need to cut and fill to emphasize the central thread, like an illustrator inking over a pencil drawing. Just as the relationship between the founders and the company. Maybe not all the way to the top: The surprise for me. Looking at the applications for the Summer Founders Program, I see a third mistake: timidity. Hence what, for lack of a better name, I'll call the Python paradox: if a company chooses to write its software in a comparatively esoteric language, they'll be more likely to happen in a startup. There seem to be a really long journey, at least 3 years and probably 5. I'd say 75% of the stress is gone now from when we first started. Most investors have no idea. This can work well in technology, at least unconsciously.

This may be true; this may be something we need to fix something. It's good to have a job at a big company. But it's a mistake founders constantly make. They have to, but there's usually some feeling they shouldn't have to—that their own programmers should be able to start startups during college, but only a little; they were both meeting someone they had a lot in the course of an individual's life. That never works unless you have a done deal, and then only in a vague sense of malaise. One of the most charismatic guy? One thing all startups have in common? Dukakis. As European scholarship gained momentum it became less and less important; by 1350 someone who wanted to learn about science could find better teachers than Aristotle in his own era.

We fight less. But I can't believe we've considered every alternative. It's like seeing the other interpretation of an ambiguous picture. That no doubt causes a lot of time in bookshops and I feel as if I have by now learned to understand everything publishers mean to tell me about a book, and perhaps a bit more. Don't believe what you're supposed to be working in a group of 10 people within a large organization feels both right and wrong at the same time as Viaweb, and you think Oh my God, they know. Few are the sort of backslapping extroverts one thinks of as typically American. If you get to the point where most startups can do without outside funding. Competitors riding on lots of good blogger perception aren't really the winners and can disappear from the map quickly.

Thanks to Geoff Ralston, Dan Bricklin, Trevor Blackwell, Jessica Livingston, Dan Giffin, Max Roser, Robert Morris, and Jackie McDonough for reading a previous draft.

[yanderedbh-moved]

Connor anon here. I guess the other yandere could be one of your choosing (If you can't think of anyone maybe Nines or Markus would work) ? I didn't have anyone specific in mind. Also yeah I was thinking Connor would be a yandere himself.

Thank you so much for the clarification! I’m just going to go ahead and fill out this prompt in two separate sections with Markus and Nines as the captor respectively. Maybe in the future, I might consider adding more characters to the prompt (I really was so fun to write this!) I hope you enjoy how this one turned out💙

Additionally, since you requested Connor as well to act as a yandere, I'm going to summarize the relationship before now very quickly. Before the kidnapping, Connor honestly did surprisingly well to keep his yandere tendencies under wraps. Likely you fail to realize any potential warning signs in the relationship on account of your own slight feelings of attraction for him. The way he seemed to linger a little longer in a little closer around you made you feel special drew you closer to him. And when it came down to it, you really did trust him, and when you watched the way other people picked on him in the office, you can't help but feel sorry for him. You didn't necessarily think he was asking you out when he asked if you would ever share a romantic relationship with an android. However, when he did ask you out needless to say you, were more than ready to respond yes. There were initially some growing pains at the start of the relationship for the first time. Connor found difficulty keeping his darker, more possessive tendencies concealed, and you had to confront how quickly you brushed off any possible warning signs. As of late, though, things appeared to be looking up. The two of you were working together on issues and really felt as though you were making progress. So long as he managed to avoid any of Connor's possible triggers, that is.

Markus

It was far from Markus' first choice to kidnap a human and keep them alive at the base. However, due to circumstances beyond his control, Markus found this to be the best middle road he could pursue to keep everyone comfortable.

When part of Jericho wanted to hurry up and put an end to the fighting and to embrace democracy and bring about a final and lasting peace. While the other side refused to back down on their stance and to use displays of power to shock and force humans into submission.

The idea of kidnapping may have been thrown around every now and then. Still, to Markus, the idea seems so difficult to actually accomplish, he decided to focus his efforts on more manageable accomplishable goals. However, when a Jericho raised turn south, and he found himself pursued by one of the officers investigating the deviancy case, Markus couldn't help notice the opportunity to secure a hostage as well as evade capture. He had no idea he was leaving with someone so close to the program's deviant Hunter.

The execution was simple; wait for you wait till you try the corner him, and as you strayed from the rest of your department stun you while your guard was down and with the help of several of his comrades successfully incapacitate you and bring you back to base.

Once you were back, Markus made a point to ensure you are kept in a location; only he was privy too. The risk of another android either attempting to break you out or kill you were too high, and you were a bargaining chip to important to lose.

Likely Markus would keep you in a small one-room area almost certainly chained to either the floor or the wall. A barred window, a piss pot, and a flimsy cushion on the ground to curl up and sleep on.

Initially, you were terrified of Markus, and he preferred it this way. You saw him as the leader of a war on humanity who wouldn't hesitate to end your life in a heartbeat if you didn't comply. Over time though, Markus began to almost enjoy taking care of his hostage. Despite the situation, it reminded him of life with Carl. He stopped initially trying to terrify you and started trying to connect with you instead.

Needless to say, you were more than a little hesitant at first. However, when you discovered Markus had no desire to harm you even when you didn't comply with him, you can't help but slightly warm up to him.

Your real mistake, however, was unintentionally giving the leader of Jericho an even greater reason to despise the Deviant Hunter. A calm and neutral conversation with Markus about your life back home took a sharp turn for the personal. When you were first brought to Jericho, you knew only speak when necessary and never disclose private information. Now the two of you were warming up to one another through it was hard not to shed your originally stoic demeanor.

When he asked you what the one thing you wanted to return to most back home without even thinking was, you responded your boyfriend, Connor.

And at that moment, Markus knew there was no way in hell he was going to let you go.

Nines

Imagine the kidnapping less as something which occurred out of the blue or at random but something slowly simmering for weeks.

Nines always knew between the two of them Connor took more naturally to socializing and generally had an easier time interacting with other humans. Most of the time, this didn't bother him. Connor had his role on the team, and Nines had his own. But something about the way Connor managed to so effortlessly capture your attention and win your favor bothered Nines in a way he couldn't understand.

At a complete loss for how to understand his own feelings, Nines understood his feelings refused to leave his mind unless he did something about them.

While Nines really wanted to speak with you alone and convince you to take your work more seriously, he settled by talking to his brother.

Connor knew almost instantly his brother wasn't actually speaking with him in regards to work but rather out of jealousy. Upon realizing this, Connor couldn't help but feel a touch of pride over finally feeling truly superior over his brother. No matter how small or petty this was, Connor refused to back down. He responded if you were warming up to him quicker than Nines. It was out of his control. He was about to leave; when Nines stopped him with a warning, if he didn't step down from this challenge, he would have to pay the consequences. Furthermore asking if he really knew what was at stake here.

He already knew where you lived and he knew his brother schedule well enough to know when he would be out of the house. This was far from his most challenging mission.

Nines would know well enough to plan out every detail before the heist down to the most meticulous of features. His main objective here was speed and precision.

Likely he would keep you imprisoned somewhere not unreasonably uncomfortable where are you had no way of possibly escaping while he was away.

There's absolutely no chance Nines would ever confess that what he did was an act of jealousy, nor would he ever go easy on you in a punishment just because he knew who you were beforehand.

[inknose]

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably