#I noticed this during his first appearance in BTAS

[chiropterx]

Despite his great increase of height, Man-Bat isn't much heavier than Kirk Langstrom in his human form. The majority of his intimidating size mostly comes from his longer legs, which, combined with his wingspan, gives him a width of roughly twenty feet when both wings are spread out. This immense wingspan paired together with his deceptively light frame allows Man-Bat to be both incredibly stealthy and swift, reaching speeds of sixty miles per hour on the wind when unburdened by additional weight.

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

BTAS Dork Squad and also Penguin (all separately, no poly this time) have an s/o who falls incredibly ill and is bedridden for weeks. One particularly bad night, they're sitting at the bedside while their s/o is unconscious. Suddenly, an appropriately unsettling (or completely normal looking) apparition of your choice appears in the room with them. There's no question what's happening: The Reaper is here to stake their claim on the sickly s/o. But Death can be swayed. Or beaten. How do the boys react to the situation, and how would they save the reader?

BTAS Dork Squad (plus Penguin) x Reader

How ominous! They'll really have to figure out how to save their beloved! First time writing for BTAS Penguin, very exciting <3

TW: Discussions of death, religion mention

BTAS Mad Hatter

Death appears as a gentleman in fine attire and top hat. Like something out of a storybook. The only indication that he is Wrong is when he takes off his glove and reveals the skeletal bones of his hands.

Oh, no no, this simply won't do! Jervis covers your body with his, covering his face and his eyes to wash the vision of death away! Despite living within his fantasy, he's still somewhat rational. This is because of stress. Chemicals and wiring misfiring within his brain-

Yet he feels his lovers body grow cold and he whips up, looking at the Reaper, begging him to stop. The flush goes back to your feverish cheeks and he realizes this is all too real.

"What could you want? I have nothing to give of consequence!" Jervis doesn't exactly think he wants money or jewelry. Or mind control devices...

"I want them." The Reaper states, "That is what I came here for. Nothing more." Jervis wraps himself tighter around you, refusing to sit idly by- and he notices something about the gentleman. His hat is beaten. And worn.

Jervis waves his hand, "Perhaps! Perhaps I could interest you in a bit of haberdashery! Some fine fixing, as it were!"

His skill in the smallest of mechanics has given his hyperfixation for Alice in Wonderland themed clothing a definitive boost over the years. The finest threading.

A deal is made. Jervis fixes the Reapers hat and you would not be taken at this time. Through the night as you slept through fever and rattling cough, Jervis moved nimble fingers tight and steamed and molded...

In the morning dawn, you woke up. Jervis told you he was exhausted, crawling into bed with you. His fingers had several bandages and when you asked, he merely says "We had a guest in need of a hat fixing."

BTAS Scarecrow

While at first he's incredibly doubtful of the existence of this foul creature, the skeletal shadow it reaches over you makes Jon a believer. Is this some... punishment from God? Some reckoning for his past sins of wreaking fear into the hearts of man?

Is he meant to suffer his very worst fear as recompense? Is this Hell?

It is not. It is merely a trial of some sort. Death sees a chessboard and expresses interest. He'd been teaching you and playing you in the moments you were awake. Perhaps Death would like a game? A wager?

Jon is not a gambling man. What this figure might not know is that Jon has played two of the most brilliant minds in all of Gotham during their stints in Arkham- a former neuroscientist and a certified genius.

Even Death has their psychological tells. They're difficult to read, but Jonathan has had practice. Little twitches, both of them analyzing the board.

The shambling ghoul that sits across from him has no facial features. Yet, Jonathan can sense they want to win desperately. Not from wanting you, though that is a bonus. No, rather, it's a nagging fear of losing.

And that is what he needs. Faking the Reaper out, allowing them to think they've gained an upper hand for Jon to yank it out from underneath at just the right moment. Risky, but feeds into the fear and makes Death sloppy.

"Set. Match." It takes almost an hour, but Jonathan manages to beat the Reaper. His hands are trembling. His brow sweating.

Death shakes with rage and points to you in bed, "I will have them... But... not today. And one day... I will have you, too. I will not forget this." Then he disappears.

Jonathan falls asleep at your bedside, waiting for you to wake up. Your gentle hand in his hair makes his eyes flutter and you look... better. Sweet, sweet relief.

BTAS Riddler

"Oh Jonathan, if this is your idea of some tasteless joke-" it's three a.m., how did you even get in here? Edward has so much security installed, this is ridiculous- it's when the figure passes his hand over you and your skin turns a hypoxic blue that Edward panics.

You see, Death heard of a genius who made games. Self-proclaimed smartest man alive. Death has always wanted a challenge... and what better wager than the soul of one you love? Cruel, perhaps, but he's been called that many a time before.

Edward immediately takes him up on it. He'll beat you at your game, ghoul. Or, crudely stated, Game ON, bitch. With his grandiose intelligence and stratagem... Unless this spectre is somehow Batman in disguise, Edward knows he's going to win. He has to.

It's an ancient game, one Edward hasn't even heard of. Lost to the ages, Death says. It's rules and playing pieces mere ash except for what Death himself has kept. And it's rules are numerous and complex.

The playing board represents a sort of river styx. Appropriately, perhaps, the goal of the game is to wade your way out of the river before death and the other souls can take you. So it's timed as well. One player is Death. The other is the poor soul trying to escape.

"And I never lose." Death says. Edward merely responds, "Well, you've never played me."

The game lasts five hours in length. Death has an hour glass set that Edward watches in horror as each grain reminds him how close you are to dying. What he truly has to lose. But he can't let his emotions run wild.

The idea of never seeing you smile or laugh at his witticisms again- to croon and tell him you love him and that he's your genius. It spurs each moment on as he falls to what feels like constantly shifting rules.

The Reaper asks Edward as only minutes remain, "You are a man of riddles. Here's one for you: I have a beginning, but no end and I end all things that begin. What am I?"

They both know the mocking answer.

With moments to spare, The Riddler beats the game. He practically flips over the board, cheering and being generally smug. He waits to see Death's reaction.

He laughs. Waves Riddler away before shaking his hand, "Good game."

He'd heard right. And so you live through this sickness. Edward looks forward to making you laugh for years to come.

BTAS Penguin

The figure who approaches your bedside is no private doctor or nurse. Penguin questions her, his eyelids swollen from worry and stress. Her smile, at first serene, moves to a grin too wide for her face. Penguin aims his umbrella at her and finds the bullet does nothing.

She is Death and she has come for your soul. Merely step aside, little man, for it is not your time yet. She talks to him as one would a child, adding insult to injury.

If he cannot wound her, he instead begs, "This isn't right! They have done nothing! Commited no crime other than gracing me with their affections!"

"The good never last for long. We both know that." Death responds.

Penguin offers everything- gold, jewelry, the finest cloth and diamonds one could ever want! Is it money? He can give you money, he has it! Everything in his account!

"I will not be satisfied with paltry mortal things." She says, "You need to accept these things. They'll happen to you, too. The rot. The cold-"

Oswald panics. The one person who ever truly accepted him. Someone he's told everything to, even his darkest secrets. The person he wants to grow old with...!

He stands in front of you, tears in his eyes. She tells him to move. He refuses. She looks annoyed.

With his last shot, he tells her, "Then take mine if you won't be satisfied, you corrupt banshee!"

That... makes her pause, "You would give your soul? For theirs?"

He nods. Of course. Take the damn thing! What would be the point of it if you died like this? He has no need!

And so she takes his face in her hands... and begins to pull his soul out from his body. Its agonizing like this, when he's so alive. It's painful, but he accepts it-

Until she stops. And sighs. Rolls her eyes. She frowns, "You've taken all the fun from this."

And suddenly she's gone. And you're coughing awake, telling Oswald that you just had the strangest dream. He cries as he holds you.

[taggingtim]

Why I love Pre-Boot Tim Drake and why the Reboot has ruined him

I love Tim Drake.  He is my favorite comic book character of all time.  I’ve been really upset the past few days about what DC has been doing with him lately, and I thought it would be cathartic for me to write something up about it.  (No, this isn’t a rant about Tim being bi/gay; it’s a much larger problem than that. But I’ll get to that in a bit.) Bear with me for a bit of history, first.

When I was a kid I loved the Batman Animated Series.  I know this will lose me a lot of internet cred, but I always preferred the fourth season. In particular, I loved Tim Drake. He was fun and funny and I absolutely adored him.  I used to beg my mom to take me to the mall so I could buy issues of Gotham Adventures. For my birthday one year my parents got me a subscription to the comic, and I was blown away by the idea that I could have comics MAILED to my HOUSE.

Around middle school I started collecting Marvel comics, mostly X-men stuff.  I loved them, but when I started college I quit the hobby for financial reasons.

 Fast forward a few years, and I felt I was financially stable enough to start buying comics again. Rather than going back to Marvel, I decided to give Batman comics a chance.  I had no idea where to start, and when I found out my beloved Tim had his own comic series, I thought it was a perfect entry point into the Batman universe. I bought the complete series from a local comic shop and dove in.

 Tim’s Robin series was exactly what I was looking for in a comic.  He was very different from little Timmy Todd from BtAS, but I loved him. I built the rest of my comic collection around him, grabbing up every book that he was featured in, from Young Justice to Teen Titans to Batman, Detective Comics, Nightwing, Red Robin, and many others.  I have random books from series like The Demon just because Tim was in them.

 So why did I like Tim so much?  What about this character made me so excited for more?  I found in Tim something that I had never seen in a comic book before: character growth.  Somehow, though he was written by many different authors over many different years, Tim managed to have a character arc that is consistent and makes sense. Sure, there were a few small bumps along the way, but on the whole Tim has always stayed true to his character, and he’s developed in a way that the big name characters, like Batman, never can.

 When we’re first introduced to Tim, he’s a young teen who has been neglected by his parents growing up. He’s smart, healthy, and strong, but he lacks so much self confidence and has little sense of self worth.  Tim notices Bruce’s increasing violence as he grieves for the loss of his son, and Tim knows he needs to step in and help.  Batman needs a Robin.

 For most characters, this would be the part where Tim put himself forward for the job.  But he doesn’t.  He seeks out Dick Grayson and begs him to come home instead.  It’s only when Batman and Nightwing are in danger and there is literally no one else to help that Tim steps up and dons the cape. And once he does, he’s constantly plagued by self-doubt, terrified he will screw up and leave Batman worse than ever before.

 From there, Tim undergoes intense training.  He never begs to be in the spotlight, doesn’t push to go out on the streets before he’s ready.  His goal is to help Bruce as much as possible.

 Here’s where I started to fall in love with him.  All that self-doubt, the constant need to be useful?  That’s exactly what you would expect to see from a child whose parents had ignored and neglected him.  He finally has a parental figure who sees him, who values him, and Tim does everything he can to make himself worthy in the hopes that Bruce will keep him around.

 This is the first example of character consistency that we see with Tim.  And it continues.  When his mom dies and his dad is put in a coma, you see Tim struggle to come to terms with losing the people he loves, but never had a relationship with.  Tim almost never mentions his mom after her death, because she just wasn’t present in his life.  When his dad recovers and decides to stick around, Tim struggles to build a relationship with him.  He’s plagued with guilt because he’s finally found the father figure he needed in Bruce, but he thinks that he’s supposed to feel that way for Jack.  It’s a running undercurrent in their relationship that creates distance between them for years.

 This is already so long, so I’m going to try to summarize a bit more.  We get to watch Tim grow up.  We see his awkward relationship with his first girlfriend, Ariana.  He doesn’t know how to treat her; he’s never had the opportunity to observe a healthy relationship.  But he tries so, so hard.  All of Tim’s relationships are awkward, because he’s never had a model of a good one. Steph is a great match for him, because she’s very vocal about what she wants and needs, and she isn’t afraid to call Tim out when he messes up, which is exactly what Tim needs.

 Big things happen to Tim. He’s stuck with Jean-Paul Valley, who slowly goes insane, leaving Tim to try to keep the city in one piece.  He’s infected with the Clench, a plague that sweeps over Gotham and kills everyone it touches, and barely escapes with his life. His girlfriend is sexually assaulted, leaving him to deal with the fallout.  His family moves out of Gotham, and he has to sneak back in during No Man’s Land to help.  His relationship with his dad has intense ups and downs, resulting in him being sent to boarding school, punished in a variety of ways, and generally caused a lot of trouble in his life.

 Then people start dying. Over the course of about a year in his life, Tim loses his girlfriend, his dad, a close friend, and his best friend, each of whom dies under tragic conditions.  Tim’s grief is intense, and he is understandably traumatized by the losses. We see fundamental changes in his character.  He changes his costume from something bright and cheerful to something darker that reflects his emotional state.  He’s more subdued, his adventures a little more serious.

 When Bruce first tries to adopt him, Tim literally creates an uncle and hires an actor to play him, just to avoid dealing with the situation.  Bruce has viewed Tim as a son for years, so to him the adoption is an obvious step.  For Tim, it feels like a betrayal of his father, and it takes a while before he’s ready to accept Bruce’s love, home, and a place in his family.  

 When Damian shows up on the scene, Tim really struggles with him, and not just because early Damian is a horrid brat who tries to kill Tim on multiple occasions.  Tim has always felt the need to earn his place with Bruce, and Damian constantly throws all of Tim’s biggest fears in his face—he’s not wanted or needed now that the “real” son is here, he’s not worthy of a place in the family, he’s not good enough.

 Tim tries to clone Conner, his best friend.  He’s lost so many people, and he’s desperate to get them back.  Conner was cloned to begin with and fully matured over a very short period of time; the technology clearly exists, so why can’t Tim use it to get his best friend back?  And if he can get Conner back, why not the others he’s lost?  He eventually gives up, but when he eventually gets access to a Lazarus Pit, he immediately wants to incorporate the waters into his process so he can revive his loved ones.  With Dick’s help, Tim eventually decides to let it go, but it’s such a poignant moment for the character.

 Then Bruce dies, and Dick takes Robin away.  Tim switches to the Red Robin persona as he travels the world, alone, trying to prove that he was right.  He has to deal with the trauma of losing another father, finds out that his girlfriend never died but let him hurt so much for so long.  His brother and the only close friend he has left both think his grief has overwhelmed his sense and that he’s gone crazy.  He’s utterly alone.

 The Red Robin series is such a great culmination for Tim.  He finds a place for himself as a hero, as a CEO.  He gets parts of his family back—Bruce, Steph, Bart, Conner.  He finally figures out who he wants to be and creates a place for himself.

 This overarching character development is what I love about Tim.  His many, many traumas impact his decisions, and you can clearly see how he changes over time as a result of them.  I didn’t even go into his development as a leader from his early fumbling with Young Justice to his strong leadership of the Teen Titans, or how his relationships with Conner, Bart, and Cassie develop so fluidly and realistically over the years.

 This is why I love Tim. Characters like Batman are static; nothing that happens to them will ever have a lasting impact, because in the end the character always returns to what they were.  Tim, on the other hand, has changed and developed A LOT since his initial appearance.  His growth has always been consistent and logical.

 When the reboot happened, all of that character growth was lost.  Tim was replaced with a jerk who betrayed his friends and cheated on his girlfriend.  DC has basically retconned all of this and tried to turn Tim back into who he was, but by taking away all of the things that have happened to him over the years, Tim has lost SO MUCH.

 I keep looking for my Tim in recent comics, and I just can’t find him.  It breaks my heart, because I love him so much, and it feels like he’s lost to me forever.  The most recent Young Justice comic series actually gave me hope; I felt like maybe, finally, someone was going to write Tim correctly.  He had his primary friendships back, his relationship with Steph was developing (even if they seem to have completely dropped all the development around Steph’s decision to let Tim think she was dead).  The actual book itself wasn’t fantastic, but it felt like they were headed in the right direction.

 Over the last few days, I read the Batman: Urban Legends books.  I actually read the Batman/Red Hood story first, which was fantastic.  I was really excited to read Tim’s story (though I already knew how it ended).  Jason’s character was handled so well, and he seemed to actually have some character development that will hopefully last.  I anticipated the same for Tim.

 But Tim’s story was awful. The plot was all over the place—kids are being kidnapped, so Tim has to join a pain cult to get them back?  He’s somehow helping Oracle with computer issues while simultaneously questioning witnesses?  He’s broken up with Steph, off camera, shortly after telling her how much he loves her, but Steph somehow thinks that they should have a caring relationship where Tim tells her what he’s feeling?  Bernard has somehow become a good enough fighter to stand side by side with Robin?  Tim STILL doesn’t have a code name?  Why is everyone suddenly hounding him about what he wants to do with his life?

 It’s just such a mess of a story.  If it didn’t end with Tim agreeing to go on a date with Bernard, no one would ever have even mentioned it.  There’s nothing particularly re-readable or enjoyable about it.

 I actually liked that they brought Bernard back. I really enjoyed him in the original Robin series. It’s been a while since I read that part of the series (I’m actually working my way back through it now).  I know Bernard always read as gay to me, yet somehow I felt like he was out of character in these books.

 And then, the climax of the story.  Tim is bi, or gay, or has at least agreed to go on a date with a boy.

 If this had happened in the pre-boot, when Tim was Red Robin and had an actual character arc, I honestly wouldn’t have had an issue with it.  I do think it would have needed a LOT more build up than it was given here.  Tim has always been a very introspective character, and we’ve been party to so much of his internal monologue over the years.  It seems very strange to me that such a huge thing just sneaks up on him out of nowhere when he’s never even thought about it before.

 But more than that, this story just feels like the final death blow for the Tim I loved.  The whole arc is about how Tim doesn’t know who he is or who he wants to be.  What will his hero name be?  Will he go to college?  What is he going to do with his life?  These are all great questions, and his answer to all of them is… date a boy?  

 Is this going to be his defining characteristic going forward?  From here will we just see Tim exploring and discovering his sexuality?  The Tim we have now doesn’t have a family, a team, a purpose, or even a code name.  Why was this the thing that DC decided to give us?  It feels like they wanted to make a gay Robin and decided it would be Tim because they didn’t know what else to do with him.

 It’s stupid, but I honestly feel like I’ve spent the past few days grieving the loss of a loved one. The Tim that DC is presenting now is just not the person that I knew.  Tim would never break up with Steph that abruptly for what he admits is no apparent reason.  He would never say “just call me Robin, since Damian’s out of town.”  Everything that I love about Tim seems to be gone, and in its place DC has given me a date with a boy.  

 Again, it’s not Tim being not-straight that I have an issue with.  I’ve never read the character that way, but it’s something I can live with. My issue is the way it was handled. Why not make Tim an actual person first, and then explore his sexuality?  Send him off to college!  He’s obviously thinking about it!  It’s the perfect opportunity to give him his own book.  He can move to a different city, choose a new name, and DC can introduce a whole new set of characters.  Figure out which parts of Tim’s backstory are still canon, and which have been dropped. Make him a person again, and then let him explore his sexuality.

 I know this post is all over the place, and I don’t have time right now to go back and edit it.  I just really needed an outlet for my frustration.  Right now it feels like there are so many people who are so excited about Tim being bi/gay, but they don’t know anything else about him.  I keep seeing people comment how DC has been “dropping hints for years!” with no evidence other than “he and Superboy were really close!”  I guess I’d just really like to have some dialogue with other people who are fans of Tim, rather than fans of Tim-as-bi/gay or fans of Tim-as-straight.

 Does anyone else feel this way?  I’d honestly like to have a dialogue about it with other long time fans.

[popculturebuffet]

Paul Dini’s Jingle Belle: The Mighty Elves (Comissoned by WeirdKev27)

Well well boys, we’re back to Jingle Belle with another kevmission, though per his request i’ll be getting back to Life and Times Of Scrooge McDuck at long last. I also have some other stuff planned and all that, but for now, let’s focus on everyones faviorite elfen hellion as we dive back into Paul Dini’s Jingle Belle. 

I covered most of the behind the scene’s stuff last time so in short in case your just joining us, since this one’s got a bit more stuff to tag: Jingle Belle is an indie comic book character created by animation god Paul Dini, the daughter of Santa Claus and the Queen of Elves who acts like a standard rebellious teenager sterotype and causes trouble for her dad.  Last time I touched on the character a good two days ago, we looked at her first appearance, where she sent her family to Family Therapy. At the time I’d ONLY read that story, and hadn’t gotten that far into Jing’s world just yet. As you probably guessed despite plugging a decent amount of time into re-reading the rest of Scott Pilgrim (shout out to my good friend Mike for the early christmas present), on digital and in color and into the Switch port of the first Fire Emblem, I still got 2/3 of the way through the omnibus Kev gifted me of almost all her stories up to 2018′s The Handmade’s Tale.  Honestly not a lot has changed from the pilot.. while Jing’s designs changed a bit, she’s still more of a rebellious hellion, and while Santa’s no longer a slut shaming jackass, he’s still hard on her while her mom tries to keep the peace, The humor’s still edgy, if toned down enough to support returning whenever Dini felt like it but it’s largely the same for better or worse.  Overall the stories haven’t been bad but have been a bit reptitive to read in one giant omnibus. This really is down to the format they were made in: These were one off stories spread months apart meant to be picked up off the shelf with no real ongoing stories or character development and only some slight worldbuilding here and there. In short not bad stuff, just clearly not built to be collected in a huge omnibus like it was and not the first comic collection i’ve encountered with this problem and definitely not the last. 

That being said the stories are creative and still well put together. It is Paul Dini and he has wrote pretty much every story collected here with few exceptions, so it’s still good stuff, just as I said clearly not meant to be read all in one block like i’ve been doing. And today’s story happens to be one of my faviorites so far, breaking the formula up a bit by having Jing do something a bit diffrent and also involving hockey, a sport this story made me realized might actually intrest me on some level.. if in part due to letterkenny. 

God bless those two handsome idiots. So let’s ice up or skates, get those letterkenny refrences at the ready and see what the Mighty Elves have to offer. 

We start at Hockey Practice for Santa’s Hockey Team, The Elves, the kind of sentence that makes me really happy to type for money. Santa’s team is naturally for this kind of story and what the title references, are the last place in the bi-polar hockey league their in.. presumably ran by commissioner bi-polar bear. 

Again, I really love this job and that i’m actually getting paid for this this go round. Anyway, Santa’s team isn’t all that agressive because.. well i’ts a team coached by Santa, why would they be? But Santa’s still proud of his boys... as for his girl on the otherhand he gets a call and we soon find out via mugshots Jing dragged her two friends, up from just one in previous stories, to an air force base, somehow got arrested for hitting on enlisted men, not a crime, and stealing and crashing a helicopter, very much a crime.  Naturally Santa isn’t pleased, so we cut to a few days later where he’s letting her friends off making robo kitties, damn I want one of those now, while leaving Jing to do the packaging, though like most stern but fair dad’s he admits he dosen’t like punishing her and is right in saying there’s more to do with her summer vacation than you know, piss off the military. Santa needs his flight clerance dammit. Jing complains there isn’t much to do but feed the reindeer and make toys to which I say.. really santa? You haven’t set up anything else for your eleves to do? Making toys is their job. Build a fucking movie theater. And at the very least if not for them than for your bored and rebellious daughter to distract her from doing crimes. She’s still likely got a few hundred years of teenagering left, give her something else to do other than piss you off.  Santa does have a least a little something: Hockey! Which Jing’s cousin Rusty has taken up. Rusty showed up in the first story but I kind of glossed over him, he’s basically Jing’s Dorky cousin she frequently abuses. Not really much more or less to him. Jing isn’t on board mostly because their team always looses, to the other teams: The Penguins, the Polar Bears, The Snow Leopards and the Eskimos because they don’t really have killer instinct, which yeah is kind of necessary for hockey. To her..

But during her rant she does show Santa she’s got genuine talent for the sport, so he makes her a deal: Do a little favor for him, and she’ll swap that for making toys.. it’s a deal.. one she soon regrets but hey. 

Jing naturally makes an ass of herself pretty quickly beating the shit out of Rusty with her dad repremanding her and threatning to throw her off the team if she has another outburst like. That is until she runs into the Huskies Coach, Stan. 

I mean i’ts a hairy old man who makes a side bet with Santa Claus despite it technically being against commission rules, might as well be. So Santa tells Jing screw it, as long as it’s the opposing team violence is a-okay.  And naturally our first target is the world famous hockey player, aka snoopy aka a snoopy stand in. And being a big fan of peanuts i’m a sucker for a good peantus parody. Doubly so since Dini did his homework, and as I’d remembered and a quick google confirmed “The World Famous Hockey Player” was indeed one of snoopy’s many personas.

 Not that it was much of a stretch: just about any time snoopy played a sport he was “the world famous X player”, but still it’s a nice little nod. Not so nice is Jing within seconds slamming him into the air and under a Zamboni and getting sent to the box for it naturally. So clearly she’s the shorsey of this team, all chirps and ultra violence. 

Snoopy is thankfully still alive, if barely, though he’s off course been through much worse.

But while in the Box jing helps advise the team and a presumed combination of her beating the shit out of the other team’s best players and her team now not only having something to inspire them but a strategy means the Elves win for once! Santa and Jing share a hug, though Santa advises her not to go for his wallet, it’s still a sweet moment as she’s genuinely invested now.  So we cut to..

Okay Hank Ribbon seal is genuinely one of the best things humanity has made but as for Quiki I just... wow that joke is mildly racist at worst, confusing and unfunny at best. I mean... it really just makes no sense on any level and that’s with me not knowing a lot about hockey, but knowing just enough to know Kathy Lee Gifford existed. Just.. what even was that? I know Paul can do better than this.. because as my first review outlined he wrote a LOTTTT of Tiny Tune Adventures including my favorite episode. He also wrote most of the best Joker episodes for BTAS, so it’s not like the guy CAN’T be funny.. so I have no idea how he could fail so hard with this. Just.. what is this. Who thought this was funny? what was the joke? 

That.. utter bafflement aside, this newscast is used to push things ahead as the elves are on a winning streak, having also beaten the Polar Bears and the Penguins.. though weirdly we DON’T get a cameo by this guy despite having already had Snoopy show up. 

That’s my boy. But yeah there’s only two teams left with this, the Eskimos and tonight’s matchup the Snow Leopards, aka snow catgirls lead by Tashi Ounce, who Jing met at the winter games last year and lost too and thus has a whole rivlary thing going. In a really nice moment Santa stops to make sure Jing is okay going into the game. 

It’s part of why I REALLY like this story: Santa instead of just being disapointed in his daughter genuinely bonds over her over something and Jing shows she has a softer side to her. It’s some good character stuff, helps shake up the normal formula nicely. Back to the usual though she and Tashi naturally go at it, phrasing, and fight the whole damn time, with Belle eventually scoring the winning goal. Though noticably while Tashi is just as competiive as belle and lost this time.. she’s fine with it, knowing she’ll win next time and congradulating the opponent.  But before she can leave the rink, Tashi is approached by a mysterious figure with an offer and we cut to said figure’s lair... it’s THE BLIZZARD WIZARD! dun dun dun!.... yeah I haven’t introduced him the Blizzard Wizard is.. well exactly what he sounds like, as well as the former ruler of the North Pole. He enslaved everyone there to do his bidding and was essentially, a butt till Santa showed up, united all the various animals and kicked his ass. Since then he’s been reduced to basically a rankin bass villian, lurking near bye and scheming to get petty revenge on Santa for it. So essentially....

Minus the tragic backstory. He offers them a deal: The championship cup for him defeating the elves. As he puts it the cup symbolizes hard work, respect and team work.. i.e the things their throwing out to get payback. Tashi wants none of it, but the blizzard wizard has his slush minons capture her and with the rest willing to sell out, he gets to work. 

Bliz snows out the eskimos, and brings up accusations of Santa gambling, which he gets away from by.. having his wife donate the money real quick don’t ask just go. But he has a waiver signed by the other coaches so their playing his goons. But Jing isn’t phased and Santa asks her to give the lockeroom some inspiring words. 

10/10 no notes. But naturally Bliz has a sneaky trick up his sleeves.. to win.. specifically a hot french canadian player which.. makes jing fall to pieces flirting with him and makes her entirely ineffective. Okay time out.... huh so this is the timeless void known only to zack morris, that girl from the reboot I haven’t watched, and Regis Filbin. But yeah while I wouldn’t expect Jing to slaughter the guy it feels out of character for all she’d do is to giggle like an idiot instead of making a move. She’s been established as forward and knowing what she wants. I’m not against her being distracted by this it’s just the how that feels off especially since the opening reinforces this. She hit on air force guys. She’s not going to just be giggly and awkward. Jing may not be the most complex charcter but she’s better than this. Aside from the baffling Kathy Lee Gifford gag, this is the only thing I really don’t like abotu the story, and it lasts two pages before it’s resolved and in a 22 or so page story, that’s a good chunk of it spent on something that isn’t funny and that’s out of character even within story. That being said it dosen’t drag the story down entirely, still a good story. Just a bit uneven is all. 

But unsurprisingly Tashi escapes her earlier imprisonment offscreen to let Jing know not only the full extent of Bliz Whiz’s machenations, i.e. that the other coaches are in on it, but that the hockey player is really just one of Bliz’s minons uner a glamour. WIth that knowledge Jing asks why she’d help and Tashi shows her inner honor beneath the whole rival deal, pointing out she wants to win from a GOOD team next year. With the jig up Jing pulvirzes her former crush, claims to have been under a spell (no one byes it) and the elves clean house and win. Super fuckin shooter. As for Bliz Whiz he tries to steal the trophy but instead gets booted into the snow leopards box, phrasing... it doesn’t end well for him. 

And yeah while he comes back eventually, some how, apparently, for most of the stories after this he’s just.. dead. He was killed and then his remains eaten. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

But Jing admits she had fun, she and her dad bond and we get one last gag as he assumes she learned not to showboat only for her to block everyone else in the team photo. Falalallal we’re out. 

Final Thoughts: As I said, one of my faviorites. It’s really well paced, has a good premise and only one part drags at all and only that part and one gag really don’t land. The rest of it is really funny, nice and touching, and overall a nice shakeup from these stories usual pattern of “Jing getting into hyjinks”. While she DOES here, her and her dad are literally and figuartvely on the same team, and she does show a sweeter side genuinely bonding with her dad and it’s nice to see them actually enjoy each other’s company for once. It’s a nice change of pace and one I wish more of the stories had. I’m not saying they all have to be holly jolly but i’d be nice if more of them had a bit of heart to them is all. Tis the season and all that. Still for what it is, it’s a fun ride and I highly recommend it. We’ll probably see her again sometime this season but that’s a bit off.  For now coming up I have some ducktales to tell, a chapter in a man’s life story that’s long overdue, a holiday mess I wish I didn’t have to clean up, and in the distant future.. an old friend to reconnect with. Until then if you liked this review reblog it, comment etc all that good stuff, and you can send me asks with suggestions fo ra review or direct message me, or ask for my discord, to comission a review yourself. Until then, happy holidays. 

[lj-writes]

Finn's old squad and the identity of the Executioner

The existence of the Executioner Stormtroopers, a unit dedicated to rooting out disloyalty in the ranks, has set fans buzzing. The reveal provided more fuel to speculation about a possible Stormtrooper uprising headed by Finn, and The Last Jedi trailer only intensified the speculation.

Could it be that we know at least one of the Executioner Stormtroopers from tie-in media? Someone who is known to Finn and has/will have a complicated relationship with him, with the potential for really gripping conflict?

I believe, or rather was—very easily--convinced by @kyberfox, that Finn’s old squadmate Zeroes, Trooper designation FN-2000, will appear as an Executioner Stormtrooper in TLJ. He is the only other known survivor of Finn’s Stormtrooper squad, and appeared in the Before the Awakening novella collection and, according to Wookiepedia, The Force Awakens  junior novelization and The Force Awakens: Finn’s Story.

Full credit goes to Mara (kyberfox) by the way for this idea and even a possible casting choice for Zeroes, I’m just writing this up with her permission because I want this meta to be out there and because I spotted some stuff in BtA that further supports Mara’s theory.

Based on our chats I will also speculate briefly about the possible direction of Zeroes’ story, one obvious, one far less so and again suggested by the incomparable Mara.

So let’s briefly review the members of Finn’s luckless squad. Finn was the leader of a four-man squad composed of himself, FN-2000 (nicknamed “Zeroes”), FN-2199 (“Nines”), and FN-2003 (“Slip”). Of his squadmates we met Slip first. Alas, Slip's first appearance was also his last and his death at Poe’s hands led to the first hint that Finn was different from the other Troopers.

[Image description: A close-up of Slip's helmeted face just before his death]

We met the next member of Finn’s squad, Nines, during the battle of Takodana when Nines attacked Finn with a big baton and a bigger grudge. Before he went down at the business end of Chewie’s bowcaster he distinguished himself with the iconic cry of “Traitor!” and by nearly taking Finn down.

[Image description: The Stormtrooper with a shock baton who dueled Finn at Takodana, since identified as Nines]

As far as we know Nines’s first appearance was also his last, though depending on the protection provided by Stormtrooper armor and Nines’s luck we can’t completely discount the possibility that he survived. (For a headcanon/au of Nines surviving the battle, see this gorgeous moodboard and headcanon by @jakkus-storyteller.)

So that leaves two members of Finn’s old squad, Finn himself and Zeroes, who was not seen in The Force Awakens but did appear in tie-in works. For my purposes I will be relying on Before the Awakening for his characteristics.

[Image description: Zeroes in the background of a scene from Before the Awakening illustrated by Phil Noto]

What makes the mysterious Zeroes a likely candidate for an Executioner, and likely the most prominent member of the unit story-wise? For one thing there’s the fact that he and Finn knew each other, and that’s generally a better source of drama than an enemy who is a complete stranger.

What’s more, Zeroes was someone Finn once had a sense of responsibility for. If you read Finn’s story in BtA you know that when he feels responsible for someone he goes all out. His superiors’ only dissatisfaction with his performance was the way he protected and supported Slip, whom they considered a weak link. Finn would have done the same for Nines or Zeroes had they been the ones who needed him.

Further intensifying the drama is the fact that Zeroes may well hold a grudge much like Nines did. If the First Order’s stance toward defection and collective responsibility is anything like North Korea, which it was partly based on, both Nines and Zeroes would have been subjected to a metric ton of crap due to Finn’s defection. Due to their association with a defector they would have faced intense questioning and scrutiny, denunciation, demotion, demeaning treatment, and more.

In this context Nines’s scream of “Traitor!” is not just ideological but also personal. Of course most Stormtroopers, brainwashed with propaganda, are going to see Finn as a traitor anyway, but his old squad members may well have been tainted by association in addition to the usual reasons to despise a defector. In addition Nines was portrayed in BtA as an angry guy in general, so his outburst and rage-filled fighting style are consistent with his character.

Zeroes’ circumstances as Finn’s old squadmate are largely shared with Nines. Would his response to these circumstances differ from Nines’s? Does Zeroes have personal characteristics that would result in a different response to similar circumstances, and that would suit him to being an Executioner?

Based on the brief characterizations of Zeroes in BtA my theory is that Zeroes is a very different character than Nines, and that his personality provides additional reasons why he is likely to be an Executioner.

So what kind of character is Zeroes? A lot of the time in BtA he and Nines are indistinguishable. There’s Finn, the leader of the pack in ability as well as in position, and then there’s Slip, who is always falling behind and subject to Finn’s protection. Nines and Zeroes are at the middle of the pack, not the pinnacle of excellence that Finn is but also not the problem that Slip is. They both are, in many ways, rank-and-file Stormtroopers.

The few times Zeroes stands out as an individual, however, the clues to his character are subtle but unmistakable. In a post-simulation briefing with Phasma, Zeroes shows more eagerness to please his superior than any other member of the squad when he is described as “[drawing] himself even higher” when Phasma pointed out the need to improve his marksmanship. No other member of the squad has a similar physical reaction to Phasma’s feedback, leading me to believe Zeroes had a stronger visible reaction than the others.

Then there is a passage later on when Zeroes figures out ahead of the rest of the squad that they are about to get sent on their first mission:

“It’s coming, you can feel it. No more exercises. An actual deployment.”

When they do go on the mission, he explains to the squad why Phasma didn’t brief them about their destination and target:

“She’s not going to tell stormtroopers the Supreme Leader’s plans, or General Hux’s, or even her own. She’s not asking for our opinion. She’s got a job she wants done and she’s counting on us to do it.”

Notice how he gets into Phasma’s mindset despite having no more contact with her than anyone else in the squad. He also shows exceeding ability in reading his surroundings and the people around him—a good quality for an information officer, including a secret police. In these matters of discipline and morale he comes across as more of a squad leader than Finn does, showing the makings of a fine political commissar.

True to his analytical and watchful nature, Zeroes generally seems to have a more even keel than the hot-tempered Nines or even the constantly self-doubting Finn. This makes it even more interesting when Zeroes does lose his temper after losing a match to Finn:

Zeroes shrugged [Finn] off, his anger evident even behind his armor. [Finn] figured that was because he’d broken Zeroes’s streak.

This situation deserves further analysis. I mentioned, from the above briefing scene, that Zeroes showed more eagerness to please his superior than any other squad member. The main flaw Phasma pointed out to Zeroes was his marksmanship. This is in stark contrast to Finn, who, as Phasma revealed, fired only 36 times but scored 35 hits.

Then came the melee training, which Zeroes discovered he was actually pretty good at. He beat four opponents in a row, the longest winning streak up to that point. The success must have felt good to anyone, but especially to Zeroes who likes to please authority and was likely feeling overshadowed by Finn.

Then what happens? Finn breaks Zeroes’s winning streak and breaks his record, outshining Zeroes even at this. Again. This is when Zeroes starts getting mad, unlike Nines who just started out angry according to Finn. Zeroes is not generally an angry guy, but he shows clear ambition here, a desire to shine.

To recap, Zeroes is a really ambitious guy who has a sharp eye for reading situations and people. He also knows his superiors exceedingly well and wants nothing more than to please them and climb the ladder of power himself.

Zeroes may not be quite the warrior material Finn is (as it is, I’m pretty sure Zeroes would have been squad leader if Finn didn’t surpass him so clearly in conventional evaluations), but he has very clear strengths in another area: Espionage, especially internal surveillance. Something like discovering and dealing with disloyalty in your own ranks, in other words. Something like the Executioner unit.

In fact, Nines’s and Zeroes’s differing abilities and personalities may well have led to different reactions to Finn and his defection. They would both have had to prove their loyalty in some way in addition to working out their personal grudges. Nines, with his temper and straightforward (and rather unimaginative) mind, thought that way lay in beating Finn in battle.

Zeroes, on the other hand, is very likely to have taken a more systematic, methodical approach. What better way to prove his loyalty than by uprooting disloyalty within the ranks, exposing future Finns before they emerged? This course of action both plays to his strengths and matches the way his mind seems to work. And he certainly showed the intelligence and imagination to engineer such a position for himself. In addition, I’m sure he would not say no to a rematch should he and Finn cross paths again—say, because Finn is trying to foment an uprising among Stormtroopers.

Mara even had an idea of who might play Zeroes if he does appear in TLJ and beyond: Bronx-born actor and model Dante Briggins, who played uncredited Stormtrooper roles in TFA and is slated to appear again in TLJ as one or more unnamed Stormtroopers.

[Image description: Picture of Dante Briggins]

Mr. Briggins matches Zeroes’ physical description of having dark brown skin; the character’s other distinguishing characteristic, a scar on one cheek, is not difficult for professional stage makeup artists to simulate.

What can we expect from this character if he does appear in TLJ? The more straightforward path is that of the implacable yet methodical enemy, and it’s certainly something one can expect from Zeroes’s ambition, his intellectual detachment, and his lack of hesitation when shooting unarmed people at the end of Finn’s story in BtA. Where Finn fought a physical battle with Nines he may find himself in a battle of wits with Zeroes in a game of intelligence and counterintelligence.

A much less predictable and, in my opinion, more interesting story was suggested by Mara. In this theory Zeroes is a part of the uprising, likely part of their leadership given his position and abilities, and is their inside man in the Executioner squad. You can flip everything we know about the guy on its head and it still works—yes, he’s a sharp and canny guy, but that also means he can make himself seem to be exactly what the FO brass want. His lack of hesitation in shooting the miners? We have no idea what he was thinking, and this may well be the act of a man who doesn’t want to commit murder but is also ruthless and pragmatic not to blow his cover for people who will die no matter what he does.

I find this possibility of a rebellious Zeroes fascinating because he would provide such a perfect foil for Finn. Where Finn chose to flee due to his revulsion for the First Order’s crimes, Zeroes chose to stay and topple it from the inside. Where Finn chose individual moral purity, Zeroes chose to stay with the other troopers and share in their suffering and also their crimes. Where Finn turned his weapons on other Troopers in the quest for his own freedom (which was fully justified, I want to make clear), Zeroes is working toward getting as many Troopers out alive as he can, though his chosen path no doubt leads him to kill, directly or indirectly, those he cannot help. I mean I’m pretty sure the name “Executioner” isn’t just for the cool factor.

Just think about the possibilities for conflict. In Finn’s eyes Zeroes is a criminal for participating in the Order’s war crimes and turning in disloyal Troopers. In Zeroes’ eyes Finn is selfish for seeking freedom only for himself and killing other Troopers. Under this scenario Finn and Zeroes personify the conflict between individual freedom and moral purity on the one hand, and the search for collective freedom at the price of getting one’s hands dirty by staying in a criminal organization.

Each man is a coward in the other’s eyes. To Finn, Zeroes didn’t have the courage to leave. To Zeroes, Finn didn’t have the courage to stay.

Finn and Zeroes may also learn from each other, however, and complete each others’ journeys. Finn might realize his quest for individual freedom, while brave and admirable, is incomplete unless it includes others. Zeroes might learn the value of Finn’s individual vision and heroism in making collective freedom a reality. They’d both have to swallow a lot of pride before they come to this realization and work together, but if they do they’d be unstoppable as a team.

If Finn and Zeroes do work together, they would parallel an ancient story of two men with very different values and temperaments working together to free the enslaved—Moses and Aaron, the brothers from Exodus who led their people out of slavery in Egypt. I won’t go deeply into the Finn-Moses and possible Aaron-Zeroes parallels here, but I’m hoping Mara will (nudge nudge).

Suffice it to say Finn is definitely the fiery visionary who went off on his own and who was forced to defend his ideals with violence much like Moses. On the other hand, a theoretical rebellious Zeroes would be the communitarian trying to keep his people together and sharing in their suffering as well as their moral compromises, much like Aaron.

The possibility of the fourth member of Finn’s old squad, the only other surviving member so far as we know, making an appearance as an antagonist—and even more intriguingly, a grudging ally—enriches and deepens the overall story and the character of Finn. Even if it doesn’t turn out to be canon it’s great material for speculation and fan works.

At the very least I hope we get to meet Zeroes in some form in the movies, and hopefully he’ll prove a more lasting character than the other members of his ill-fated squad.