#I never get people in my inbox so it’s always such a delight

[gothic-mothic]

I love how u draw your narrator. His mannerisms are very attractive to me, I love seeing him on my dash

The mannerisms in question

Idk why people find my narrator specifically attractive but I’m very grateful

I think

[frostyhelltime]

Alastor Realizes He Has Feelings For You Part 2

Alastor x GN!Reader

AN: I'm so happy so many people seem to like this so far! I hope you all enjoy this part 2! Now I'm gonna get back to working on my inbox. I'm loving the requests I'm seeing come in so feel free to keep sending them in! ❤️ And as I said in the preview I tend to write Alastor from more of a demisexual lenses since it's on the ace spectrum and I also largely consider myself demisexual if that helps to know for this.

Link to part 1 is right HERE.

Alastor is a planner. Always has been and likely always will be. He has different plans and scenarios for almost every occasion, and has backup plans for most any issue he could ever encounter. Suffice to say, it made him a terrible person to try and out maneuver. But it was especially difficult when you weren't even aware of the game of chess he was playing.

So he does what he does best, plan. It's easier to focus on the goal of ensnaring you instead of really analyzing his own complicated feelings. He starts small, not wanting to throw you off too harshly. It had to be subtle. He starts doing things that wouldn't…necessarily be odd, considering his personality, but they're still things he hasn't really done before. 

Such as pulling your chair out for you when you go to sit down. It's not too odd. A gentlemanly thing to do. But he can tell from the look on your face that you're struggling to remember if this is a new behavior or if he's always done it and you just never noticed.

He went out of his way to accompany you when possible, more so than usual. Especially if it was into a less desirable part of town. But still, nothing changes. It honestly vexes him because he doesn't even quite know how he fell for you, so he couldn't even attempt to replicate it to make you fall for him in turn. 

Perhaps subtle was the wrong way to go? Perhaps he should be a little more…forward? 

He again starts small, not wanting to startle you, but it seems it does regardless. In hindsight him reaching for you first instead of the other way around was certainly something novel and new, so it made sense it surprised you the first few times he placed his hand on the small of your back as you both walked, a gesture of affection, protection, and possession all at once.

He would almost wonder if he was doing something wrong if he hadn't seen that delightful little dusting of pink across your cheeks each time he does it.

It's then he realizes that due to his….general nature and lack of romantic relationships, that you're likely trying to justify all of his actions as extremely friendly rather than the subtle flirtations he meant them to be.

Which annoyed him until a hint of mischief crossed his face with a realization. If you thought he was just being extraordinarily friendly…he could perhaps be even…more bold without fully showing you his hand yet.

Yes, he could certainly have fun with that.

He's thinking later on that day about how he could torment you with his affections when he passes by the library and sees you struggling, quite poorly, to reach a book. 

His grin grows imperceptibly wider as he silently approaches behind you. He weighs his options on how he should go about it and eventually decides to lean over, until his lips are almost flush to your ear.

“Do you need any help mon cœur?” He almost purrs in your ear and he has to admit there is a certain thrill and exhilaration unlike what he's used to feeling, when you jump from how close his voice is. 

“A-Alastor! I…I didn't realize you were there.” You managed to squeak out as you felt his claws rest on the crook of your waist. The proximity, touch, and whispered voice is clearly a lot for you since he can see your blush has even spread to the tips of your ears. 

How cute. He wonders what other parts of you can so plainly show your feelings because of him? Ah but he's losing focus now.

“Oh, my apologies. How rude of me not to greet you! Hello there.” He hasn't moved his mouth an inch, his voice brushing against you like velvet as he speaks. As soon as he does actually greet you, one of his hands captures yours and brings it to his lips, and he's  able to hear the slight hitch in your breath as he does so. It's certainly a sound he's quickly become a fan of, that he wants to hear over and over again. He once again allows his mind to wander for just a moment on other ways he could have you make that sound for him. But then he's focused once more, his hand dropping yours and snatching the book you appeared to be reaching for with ease before leaning back down to whisper in your ear.

“Is this what you needed mon cœur?” He continues to drawl sweetly in your ear as he repeats the pet name that still manages to make you flush and fidget nervously despite not knowing what the hell he was even saying. He noticed the pet names seemed to make you feel some type of way when they were French, even though he's called you darling and dear and various other things in English more than a few times. But no matter. He doesn't really care about the reasoning behind it, just excited he has another tool in his arsenal to ensure you turn your gaze to him instead of some pathetic sinner that thought they had a chance with you. He can feel his ears flatten slightly in agitation at the mere thought, but thankfully you're unable to see in your current position so he gives nothing away.

He sees he isn't the only one to get lost in his thoughts, since you haven't responded yet, and he's oh so curious to know what is going on in that head of yours. But another time. For now he was making such progress, he feels.

His chuckle in your ear is dark and low, but warm like honey before his voice rings out again, laced with amused curiosity.

“Mon cœur?”

You snap to attention at that, as if just remembering he was even there.

“Y-Yep! That's the book! Thank you!” 

The little stutter was cute, he admits. Especially when he knows he caused it. But he thinks this is enough for now, to help lead your mind down less…platonic roads. The idea was to have you approach him, to maintain that illusion of control. Like you thought of it, and approached him and he'll pretend to entertain the idea before giving it a shot.

But it's fine you were taking a while to grow the courage. He was a very patient man, and the way he was clearly driving you up the wall with his back and forth actions was certainly entertaining enough in the meantime.

“Glad to be of service!” His normal radio host cadence was back again as he pulled away, his touch leaving you entirely, and he's sure it leaves a cold spot in his absence that he's sure you notice, since he can feel the same sharp contrast of the lack of warmth on him from where you're no longer touching.

He seems so cheerful and carefree that it almost makes you wonder if you had hallucinated this whole interaction. But by the time you spin around to talk to him, he's already gone. But even from the shadows he can see the way your flushed face and wide eyes search the room for him, hand over your heart as if you could will your heartbeat to slow. He's certain you must be feeling a sense of whiplash from the drastic change in demeanor and he watches as you lean back against the shelves, holding the book and shaking your head a moment.

“I feel like I'm going crazy…” He watched you mutter and it only made him smile more. So his actions were effective after all. You were just trying very hard to be respectful and polite to him since you knew his nature so well…an endearing gesture that just made him want to sink his claws even deeper into you. 

Knowing his actions affect you just emboldens him further. When you share coffee the next morning with him and the two of you chat, tucked away in whatever room seemed to strike your fancy that day, he notices you seem to be avoiding his eyes, your head tilted down.

He tuts a moment, putting his coffee down and using one claw to tilt your head upward to face him, using his other hand to brush your hair away from your face to stop obscuring his attempts to look at you.

“There we are. Much better.” He smiles brightly at you, even as he sees the crimson rush to your cheeks. He lets his hands linger a little longer than needed before he releases you and picks his coffee cup back up again, as if what he's done wasn't abnormal in the slightest.

“A-Alastor…?” He hears you ask tentatively, and he thinks his patience is finally going to pay off.

“Yes mon cœur?” He asks, tilting his head to the side in an innocent manner that is a laughable contrast to what you know of the radio demon's legacy and reputation.

“I..” He leans forward slightly, eager for your expected confession, his eyes drifting down to your throat as he watches you swallow thickly from nerves.

“...I…n-nevermind. I…forgot what I was going to say.” You eventually give up and his shoulders slump just the slightest bit in disappointment although his smile doesn't falter, although it is strained.

“...No worries. When it comes back to you, I've always got an open ear available for you.” He assures you, although inside he sighs. How can he make you crack? He wants to make you crack before he does, to maintain that illusion of control and so you don't realize the power you possess of how much he could give you if you only asked. He's thinking again, a peaceful quiet settled over the both of you as you each are lost in thought over your individual predicaments.

Perhaps…he could distract you from your date, maybe even ensure you miss it anyway, and perhaps see him in a less…platonic way at the same time. He could simply…take the place of this undeserving date of yours. 

“...You know…I had heard there was a new jazz club that had opened up recently, and I know no one else here has enough taste to appreciate the music appropriately so I wouldn't want to take any of them.” He uses his free hand to wave off the notion before you can even suggest it. 

“Perhaps I could take you with me? Perhaps I can show you how well I bet we could cut a rug together? It's been quite some time since I've gotten to enjoy a dance with a worthy partner.” He says, putting particular emphasis on the last word, eyes partially closing as he makes sure to look at you with a more seductive gaze to further entice you.

You always respond to his compliments so well, a nervous fidget, perhaps a bite of your lip as you think of how to respond, and of course that cute little blush he was quite fond of by now.

“That…” You swallow again, opening your mouth a moment as if searching for words before you continue speaking.

“That sounds…lovely. Just…let me know when to be ready.”

This time his grin is more reminiscent of a spider watching a fly heading right into its web as he gives you all the details needed of when and where.

When the time officially comes, he's delighted that you show up in the lobby at the appropriate time for a few reasons. It meant you were going to go, was the most obvious reason. But the second reason was that unless this idiot wanted to take you dancing on a Sunday night…you probably broke your date with them to be with him. A fact that certainly makes his ego puff up as he takes your hand and kisses it, a routine that feels almost natural now.

“My…I'll be the envy of everyone there with this beauty on my arm…” He chuckles, smiling wider when he sees that tell tale blush spread down to your neck as you stumble over a ‘thank you’. He offers his arm to you, which you politely take as if he were escorting you anywhere normally. Him initiating contact, even if it was small, was also beginning to feel more natural to you both, even if it was small touches.

He can tell by the way you act that you can sense this is different from other friendly outings you two had been on. Good. He was beginning to doubt his abilities to charm for a little bit there. Perish the thought.

There are also, admittedly, things that he has begun to notice are different as the night goes on as well. Had he always been able to feel how warm your hands were or had he just never noticed? It's easier to notice now as he twirls you around to the lovely jazz band playing up on stage, hand never letting yours go entirely as the two of you dance.

He's also glad to see those pesky nerves of yours finally seemed to be wearing off and you were relaxing with him again, like you had before he began attempting to quietly pursue you. Your smile and laugh were far more carefree and jovial as he dips you, arm wrapped tightly around your waist to keep you from falling before he tugs you back up to continue.

With you relaxing, he finds himself mirroring that demeanor and he's overall less anxious and tense, and much less focused on ensnaring you. Now he was just…having fun. No planning. No ulterior motives. Just having a good time. It's actually quite nice to enjoy the feeling in the moment.

There are a few brief moments where you tense, for instance when his face comes just a little too close to yours, and he can tell you're clearly wondering if he'll close the gap or if you're just imagining things that aren't there. Or when he gives a particularly sultry gaze and accompanying grin as he pulls his lovely dancing partner closer when the distance between you two becomes greater than he wants.

But overall it's an absolutely lovely night and once you've both had your fill you step off the dance floor, Alastor taking a moment to check the time and grinning deviously to himself. It was far too late to meet with up with whoever your date had been, and his ego is admittedly fluffed knowing he was the one able to distract you so thoroughly, as it should be.

As the two of you sit down at one of the tables in the corner, each grabbing a drink from the bar first, you're still laughing with absolute glee over the wonderful night so far.

He enjoys picking your brain as he sips his rye, head resting gently on his free hand as he nods and agrees and puts in his own two cents on this new jazz club. It feels delightfully normal and cozy. While he does quite enjoy flustering you and watching you flounder…he had missed these easygoing conversations he couldn't really seem to have with others. You had been walking on eggshells around him this week, and he didn't realize how terribly he missed this type of interaction with you until now.

It's only after awhile he pretends to check the clock and feigns shock before turning back to you.

“Oh dear! I hadn't realized how late it had gotten. I hope you didn't have any other plans I might have ruined.” His chuckle is easygoing, thinking he knows the answer but wanting to hear you say it anyway. He wants to hear you say you chose him, instead of him just silently knowing.

But you just shake your head, grin still plastered across your face before you take a sip of your cocktail.

“Nope! This was my only plan tonight and I couldn't imagine anything better!” Another delighted laugh from you as confusion crosses his own face immediately.

He cocks his head to the side a little bit, trying to determine if you're lying or not. Although he has never known you to lie to him before…

“Really? It's not nice to lie to me. I thought we were close. No prior commitments to anyone broken to be here with me tonight? No silly little paramour trying to steal away your attention?” He puts emphasis on the word, putting his drink down and using that hand to gently grab your chin and tilt your head up to look him in the eye so he could analyze your expression more acutely. He doesn't mean to say the word ‘paramour’ with such disdain, it simply creeps out into his voice.

But now you just look confused as well as you look up at him.

“No…? I mean. I told Husk about this place and mentioned wanting to go this weekend to check it out. But I didn't say I had anyone in mind to go with me. If anything I was going to ask you, knowing this is your kind of place.” You answer carefully, unsure what the correct answer is supposed to be, and he freezes, hand on your chin tightening almost imperceptibly as the gears begin to turn in his mind.

There's a soft flare of radio static interference that sounds from him that makes others nearby give him more room than they had previously.

You, however, are unafraid. You've become too close to him to really fear he would do anything bad to you. Right now you're mostly just concerned for him and this odd behavior.

His hand drops away from your face, as he takes another sip of his rye, taking that time to collect himself and think of his next course of action.

He should have known better than to trust one singular source of information without double checking…damnit. He had been so wrapped up in his stupid newfound jealousy that he hadn't even stopped to ask Husk if he was absolutely positive that's what you said. He thinks the idiot must have misheard you, and he foolishly accepted it at face value.

But the wheels are turning in your head now too, mouth falling slightly agape as your eyes widen, an outlandish possibility entering your mind that claws at your curiosity so desperately you can't stop yourself from blurting it out.

“...Alastor…Were you trying to stop me from going on what you thought was a date?” You ask, and the excited anticipation in your voice could not be mistaken even though you did try to hide it.

“Of course not.” Is what comes out of his mouth immediately as he pulls away defensively, his ears flattening slightly, two things you pick up on. He's unaware how hard your heart is beating right now as you try to summon the courage to speak your next thought, part of you still thinking it so impossible you shouldn't even bother asking.

“...Are you…jealous over the idea of someone dating me?” You inquire curiously, quirking your head to the side and snaking one hand across the table and taking his hesitantly, unsure if you're crossing some invisible line. You're unsure if you're just firing a shot in the dark and he'll laugh at the notion. But somehow the atmosphere feels far too heavy for him to joke about something like this. It's felt heavy like this all week and you wanted to know why.

But the question just has him put his drink down a little more harshly than he meant to. But he doesn't pull his other hand from yours, the touch a little soothing to him as he deals with his scattered thoughts.

“No.” He says concretely while looking you in the eye, as if daring you to suggest otherwise.

But you still aren't convinced…not with how he had been acting this past week, and this new knowledge. Perhaps…you could try and be a little bold? Perhaps test the waters yourself?

“...That's a shame. I wouldn't have minded if you were.” You state quietly, his ears almost straining to pick up the sound of your voice over the music. Your gaze is pointedly looking away,  unsure you would have had the courage to say the words if you had been looking directly at him.

You startle and look back at him, specifically at his hand holding yours because his grip has become noticeably tighter. He's moving closer again, to the shorter distance he had been before he pulled away and you swallow thickly, wondering if you had made a mistake.

His voice is low, and you can oddly see conflict present in his eyes, as if he was warring over what decision to make.

“...and if I say I am?” His voice is heated and almost husky as he speaks, looking you directly in the eye again as he leans even closer now, his face mere inches from yours now.

You're struck speechless by this admission, not even dreaming of that response actually being a reality, and your voice is stuck in your throat as you scramble for a response. Your breath hitches slightly as all you can do is stare at him a moment trying to process this as he waits for your answer, unreadable in this moment.

Your other hand is shaking as you bring it up to rest on his cheek, watching him close his eyes a moment before opening them again as he leans into the touch. It gives you the courage to speak that thought that feels almost too silly to put out into the world.

“...I…I would say you have no reason to be.” You're leaning just the smallest bit forward, as if to silently give permission but not wanting to take that first step yourself and cross his boundaries without permission. 

It just made him adore you more.

He bridges the distance, eyes closing as the hand not holding yours is placed on the back of your neck to push you closer, to silently assure you this was no accident.

He can feel your hand gripping his tightly now in response and he can't help but grin into the kiss as you begin to reciprocate once the shock has worn off, lips moving against his with an eager hunger before eventually parting. There's something almost tender in the way he grips your neck, that makes you melt into the kiss with him with ease.

He has to admit he's definitely a fan of this look of yours. Wide eyed, breathing a bit hard with a flushed face and slightly parted mouth as you gazed at him. He wants to see it again.

“...Good. I'm not the type of person who does well with jealousy I've discovered.” His voice is chipper and normal, as if he hadn't just taken your breath away for a moment. Just the whiplash of going from one side of him to the other has you laughing as you lean back, the hand that was once on his face now covering your own.

“...I'll keep that in mind.” You grin, spreading your fingers just enough to peek out at him. 

Further discussions could wait until tomorrow of course, of boundaries and labels and everything that comes with it. But for now this is enough. His cards are on the table yes, but yours are laid bare for him to see as well. So he relaxes again into his seat, leaning back but not taking his hand back from yours before looking at the dance floor again.

“...Do you feel like dancing again mon cœur?” He asks, already tugging your hand up to bring you with him. He's eager to dance with you again without having to pretend his intimate and more romantic touches were accidental this time. He hears you giggle before taking another sip of your cocktail and then you're tugging him down to be eye level with you. 

“I'd love that, mon amour.” You teasingly breathe into his ear, and you're rewarded by this time getting to see his breath hitch instead of it always being you. You may still not know what he's been calling you, but everyone knows that term of endearment, and there's an almost sinful sense of pride that you were able to pull that type of reaction from him, and now you're even more eager to dance with him again, to find out what else you can see that no one else has before.

You think you understand all the teasing touches he gave you that left you wanting all this week, probably trying to test the waters and bait you into confessing yourself, you can likely guess now. If this is how he felt seeing you react all those times you couldn't blame him.

Perhaps it's only fair to begin to repay him for those tormenting whispers and touches, you think as you two step onto the dance floor, your hand placing itself on his chest before slowly gliding up further and then over his collarbone to rest gingerly on his shoulder for support, your fingers digging in slightly to the flesh of his back. It's hard to tell in this dimly lit lounge but you swear there's a tinge of red to his face, and it just further strengthens the hunger you feel when he growls softly and leans over to whisper to you.

“Tread carefully my dear. I have every intention of approaching this courtship as a gentleman. Do not make that impossible for me to remember…”

Taglist: @zzzykiek @alastorthirsty @sirens-and-moonflowers

[literaryavenger]

Broken - bonus part

Summary: It's been a year since Bucky moved in and now it's his turn to help you, only problem is you won't let him.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: No use of Y/N. Language. A lot of fluff. Eating disorder. Angst.

Word Count: 7.8K

A/N: I made this bonus part to explore more about the eating disorder that was hinted in the first couple of chapters. I had plans to incorporated in the story when I was planning on making it longer, but with how it went it didn't feel like there was a place for it. I'd like to thank @ordelixx for giving me the idea for this additional part. Hope you enjoy it, I'm always open to more ideas so feel free to spam in my inbox or messages, know I always appreciate it! Also sorry it took me so long to finish this but I started it and then kind of lost inspiration :(

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Masterlist

It’s been a year since Bucky arrived at the tower and about 11 months since his hearing.

As conditioned by his pardon he’s been going to therapy, he’s been training with the team and has been doing more and more missions, on probation, but still he’s been doing better than ever.

Even Tony had to admit that the more time he spent with Bucky the more the super soldier grew on him.

If a few months ago he begrudgingly spent time with the super soldier at your request, if anything to spend time with you too since you’re still inseparable, now Tony actively seeks him out; wanting to study his new vibranium arm, testing his gadgets since he got hurt less easily than the others. Or sometimes simply to talk about things like astronomy after Tony found out about Bucky’s interest in the subject.

They’ve even had a few conversations on Howard and his friendship with the sergeant back in the 40s.

You're proud of all the progress Bucky’s made, and you appreciate the fact that getting more comfortable in the 21st century and becoming more confident didn’t make him pull away from you.

It's a fear you had, that maybe Bucky stuck to you because you were the first person after Steve that made him feel safe, that the more people he got familiar with the more he was gonna pull away from you, not needing you as much anymore.

But, to your delight, Bucky’s still as touchy and clingy towards you as ever, if anything he's grown even more affectionate.

He never lets a day go by without telling you how much he loves you and appreciates you, kissing you any chance he gets and holding you tight every night in the room the two of you have been officially sharing the last few weeks since you’ve all moved to the new Avengers Compound upstate.

You love Bucky’s attention and you’re just as affectionate towards him as he is towards you. Everything was going great.

Until it wasn’t.

You’re on your way to your room, looking forward to seeing Bucky after a full morning of mission reports with Steve and then training with Natasha.

She obviously kicked your ass and you're exhausted, wanting nothing more than to be in his warm embrace for the rest of the day.

Thankfully, it’s friday afternoon and you have no new missions which means your weekend is wide open.

You stop on your tracks when you hear your name being mentioned in a conversation right around the corner.

You recognize one of the voices as Sharon Carter, one of the agents of Shield that lives and works at the compound the Avengers now reside in.

You don’t know why you stop to listen in on the conversation, you’re not really one to eavesdrop, but something about her tone makes your legs refuse to move towards her direction. Which just so happens to be the way towards the Avengers only part of the building.

Your stomach drops when you hear the other girl’s next sentence.

"And can you believe she got Sergeant Barnes to date her?" Sharon groans before answering.

"Of course she did, he was all broken and vulnerable and she was like the first person he met at the tower. He obviously got attached to the first person that was nice to him, otherwise how do you think a girl like her could ever have a chance with him?" she says matter-of-factly. 

"You’re right, I mean he’s probably still with her just out of habit. He’s too nice to hurt her feelings." the other girl says, giggling.

"Exactly." Sharon agrees, laughing with her friend. "I mean, he’d never go for her if he met her today. He’d probably be flirting his way through the actually pretty girls that live around here, like you and me."

You can hear their laughter growing louder as they get closer to where you are frozen on your spot and feel yourself starting to panic.

You can’t face them right now, the only thing on your mind is finding a place to hide in.

You see a door behind you and you sprint to it, reaching it, running inside and closing the door softly in record time. You press your ear up against it and can hear the muffled laughter and some more comments on you and Bucky.

When they’re finally far enough that you can’t hear them, you let yourself relax, pressing your back against the door and looking into the dark closet you’re hiding in while you let their words really sink in, your brain working overtime to make sure you didn’t misheard or misinterpreted anything.

Once you’re sure you indeed heard everything correctly, tears start to form in your eyes.

Is that really what people think? That Bucky’s just with you because he pities you?

You’ve always known Bucky was beautiful, definitely the hottest guy you’ve ever seen in your life, and you’ve always known he was out of your league.

You know you’re by no means thin, but you also don’t consider yourself fat, especially not after all the work that it took you to get to a place where you have a healthy relationship with your body.

Yes, you still have your doubts and insecurities, but that’s just in your head.

Although here you are, hiding in a supply closet, tears streaming down your face, because there are actual people outside of your head that see your flaws too.

One thing is to wonder about this stuff in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep, the voices in your head taking over, but to hear those same thoughts coming out of someone else’s mouth hit you hard.

You don’t even know how long you stay hidden, but at some point you snap out of it and dry your tears, opening the door and making the way to your room.

It feels like only a second passes and then you’re opening the door of yours and Bucky’s room. You make a beeline for the bathroom, barely acknowledging your boyfriend when he greets you as you lock the bathroom door behind you.

Bucky’s eyebrows furrow at your cold shoulder, immediately getting worried. He gets up from the bed and knocks on the door of the bathroom calling out for you. "Everything okay?"

You can hear the concern in his voice and it only makes you feel worse as you find yourself wondering if he’s actually worried or just that good at pretending.

You look at your reflection in the mirror and all of a sudden you feel nauseous but you barely have time to realize it’s not just in your head when you’re suddenly throwing up in the toilet.

Bucky’s more worried than ever as he hears you be sick from the other side of the door. "Doll, I need you to talk to me or I will break down the door."

He knows it may not be the ideal thing to say, but his concern outweighs his rational thinking when you stop making sounds as he still hasn't heard your voice and is worried you might’ve passed out.

"I’m okay." your voice is quiet, but at least you’re conscious. 

"Can you open the door for me, doll?" He can hear you sigh and shuffle a bit, probably getting up. Then he hears the faucet of the sink being turned on as you splash some water on your face.

He’s a little calmer now, patiently waiting for you and he lets out a little breath of relief when he hears the lock click.

You open it reluctantly, trying your best to look normal, but Bucky can see right through you.

"What’s wrong, baby?" he brings his hands to your cheeks and you can’t help but lean into them for a second before you grab his wrists and gently lower his hands, his face more worried than before.

"I’m fine, Bucky." you say, your voice almost emotionless.

"You were just throwing up. You’re not fine." it takes all of him not to reach for you again, not wanting to cross your boundaries.

"It’s nothing. Maybe I’m just sick. I’ll take a shower, it’ll make me feel better." You don’t give him time to respond as you close the door and lock it again, starting the shower.

Bucky feels like he can barely breathe, your behavior making him more worried than he’s been since the 40s and he had to take care of sickly little Steve.

Youìve never acted like this with him, when you were sick or even grumpy from your period you usually became clingy and wanted him around even more than you usually do. But he gives you the benefit of the doubt.

If you were sick this wasn’t the moment to think about himself. He has to take care of you first and he can ask more later you when you're feeling better.

With new resolve he heads towards the kitchen, determined to get everything you might need to make you feel better.

You stay in the shower for over an hour, trying to avoid Bucky as much as you can, but you know you had to get out and face him eventually.

When you come out of the bathroom you find him sitting in the desk chair, the desk full of things you’re pretty sure weren’t there when you entered the room.

Bucky's on his feet and coming towards you in a second, your favorite pair of pajamas in his hand.

"Are you feeling better?" he asks you softly, worry still present on his features.

You can’t bring yourself to look at him, taking the clothes and changing as fast as you can, a small ‘I’m fine’ leaving your lips. 

"What's all of this?" you ask, stepping around him and walking towards the desk.

"Oh, I just brought you some things to make you feel better." He can't help himself as he wraps his arms around you from behind while you look through the things he brought you.

He got you all sorts of pain meds, your favorite snacks and drinks, your heating pad and your favorite comfort book.

You want to cry at the sight, but part of you can't help but doubt Bucky, even with how sweet he’s being.

You snap out of it when you feel Bucky give you a kiss on the shoulder and, suddenly, it all feels fake and it’s too much for you. 

You place your hands on his and move his arms away from you, then start heading towards the bed.

"I’m not hungry. I just want to sleep for a bit." That's all you say as you lay down and turn your back on him, tears threatening to fall down again.

You hear him sigh behind you. Then he moves around and you feel him lay a kiss on your head before he walks out the room shutting the lights on his way, wanting to give you the space you clearly want.

You aren't sure if you're glad you can cry yourself to sleep freely or worried that him walking out solidifies the voices in your head that are telling you that maybe Bucky really doesn’t love you.

When you wake up the next morning Bucky’s arms were wrapped around you from behind.

Usually being in his hold makes you feel safe but right now all you can concentrate on is the feeling of his hands on your belly and how disgusted he would be if he woke up and realized the position you were in, no matter how many times you've been like this.

You slip away from his embrace and go to change into work out clothes. You went to sleep pretty early yesterday so it was still early in the morning when you woke up.

You aren’t expecting to meet anyone yet but, once again, you're proven wrong by the shuffling coming from the kitchen as you make your way to grab a bottle of water.

You approach carefully without making a sound and when you peak around the corner you see Steve, probably back from a morning run, in front of the counter with his back to you and a water bottle in his hand.

You try to move as quietly as possible, even with enhanced hearing your skills have gotten so good you're able to sneak around the super soldiers when needed.

You decide to use the stairs to get to the gym, the door leading to them squeaking lightly. Steve turns around at the sound but seems to decide it was nothing as he shrugs and makes his way to his room.

You’ve been at the gym for a couple of hours, stopping only to grab water from the mini fridge, when the door opens and you hear Bucky’s voice.

"Hey doll, I’ve been looking for you everywhere." His voice sounds genuinely concerned. You have to give him props on his acting skills.

"Yeah, couldn’t sleep." You say without looking at him, barely stopping your punching of the bag in front of you.

"I thought you were sick." he’s slowly getting closer, you’d almost think he was trying to corner a scared animal.

"Clearly I feel better." you shrug, trying to end this conversation as fast as possible.

You feel his hand on your shoulder and finally stop, taking a deep breath before turning to face him.

His face looks more worried than you’ve ever seen it and it almost makes you forget your own concerns about the reality of your relationship.

Almost. 

"Maybe you should go visit Bruce, make sure everything’s okay." his eyes never leave your face and you try your best to hide any emotion but it’s always been too easy for him to read you so you shrug his hand from your shoulder, trying to put a little distance between you.

He looks genuinely hurt, but, again, what would you expect from a trained assassin? Pretending comes as naturally to him as breathing. 

"I’m fine, Bucky." you turn back to the bag and resume your punching. You’re so lost in your own thoughts you don’t even notice him walking out of the gym.

You work out some more before deciding it’s enough and go back to your room, thankful for the first time that Bucky’s not there.

After you shower and change again you find yourself with nothing to do and, for once, you wish you had paperwork to keep you occupied and give you an excuse to avoid everybody.

You grab your purse and make your way out, mumbling something about having errands to run in the city when you come across some people in the living room, basically running out of there so fast you can’t even tell who’s actually there watching tv.

You spend the whole day running around the city, not really having a destination but when the sun starts coming down you decide to head back.

When you enter the living room you can see everyone sitting at the kitchen table.

"Finally, you’re here! We can eat now." Sam shouts happily and you know you can’t escape this.

"Sorry, didn’t realize you were waiting on me." You say quietly while sitting down in the only free chair that’s unfortunately next to Bucky.

"It’s okay, koala bear." Steve smiles from your other side. "Bucky said you weren’t feeling great, so Wanda made your favorite."

You try to look excited while smiling and thanking Wanda as she and Vision place the food on the table. If she notices something is off, she doesn't say anything, just giving you a smile of her own in return.

"Where were you all day?" Tony asks you.

"The city." you simply say, trying to sound as casual as possible while making no attempt to look at him, or make eye contact with anyone else for that matter.

But Tony seems satisfied with your answer, taking your lack of conversation for tiredness and going back to talking to Clint.

You manage to avoid all conversations with nods and hums and you can feel Bucky’s gaze on you almost as it burns but you can’t find it in yourself to look back at him.

When you feel his hand coming to rest on top of yours on the table you feel like something inside you snaps and you get up abruptly, making everybody stop as they give you confused looks.

"Excuse me, I still don’t feel well. I think I’m gonna go to my room and rest." and, without giving anyone the chance to say anything, you walk away.

There’s a second of silence before the team seems to dismiss your behavior as grumpiness from feeling sick, after all the rare times that you do get sick you get very irritable.

Bucky seems to be the only one to notice your untouched food. 

After less than five minutes the door to your room opens and Bucky comes in, finding you sitting on the bed staring at nothing while being clearly lost in your head.

He makes his way to you and kneels down in front of you.

"What’s going on, doll?" He tries his luck again, putting a hand on your knee. He hopes that giving space all day allowed you to come around and now you’ll talk to him.

You prove him wrong by getting up, not even sparing him a glance, and making your way to the closet to try and busy yourself so you won’t have to look at him.

"Nothing." You offer nothing more and Bucky starts getting frustrated with you. 

"What is wrong with you today?" He knows something’s wrong. He knows you better than anyone, and he’s trying to be patient with you but you’ve never acted this cold towards him and it scares him.

"Nothing is wrong." You know you’re pushing it. You know you’re doing nothing to alleviate his worries, but you can’t help the feeling that he’s the one in the wrong.

He’s the one out of line, he’s the one that betrayed your trust and hurt you and toyed with your feelings and lied to you about his own. You had every right to be short with him.

Right?

"Something is obviously wrong, why won’t you just talk to me?!" He almost whines and you roll your eyes, your own unjustified irritation coming out.

"Oh, for the love of God, just give it a rest!" you almost yell, and the surprise you find in yourself is nothing compared to the one on Bucky’s face.

"What?" he’s almost whispering and the hurt in his voice for some reason just infuriates you more.

"Stop treating me like I’m made of glass! Not everyone is as needy as you, you know. I’m a grown ass adult and I don’t need you!" You can’t stop shouting, knowing full well you don’t mean a word you’re saying. But you want to hurt him as much as you’re hurting, as wrong as that is.

"Don’t you think I know that you don’t need me?!" He’s yelling too now, and you know you pushed the right button "I know damn well how strong you are, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still worry about you!"

"I don’t need you to worry about me!"

"Well, that’s too damn bad for you, because I love you and I want you to be okay!" God, even shouting he’s still being nice to you.

"Well, that’s too damn bad for you, because it’s none of your business if I’m okay!" Not the best response, but at this point you honestly have no idea of even control of what’s coming out of your mouth anymore.

"God, why are you being such a child about this?!" Bucky barely understands what’s going on right.

The two of you have never fought before, not so much as an argument, and now here you are in a yelling match that started because he's concerned about you.

"Oh boo freaking hoo, poor Bucky having to deal with a child! If you don’t like me just say so!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!" He’s beyond confused now.

"If you don’t want this," you gesture between the two of you "just leave! Go and find someone you actually like! Don’t stay with me just because you feel like you have to!"

"When did I ever say that? Are you out of your mind?!"

"Yes, I’m crazy! Now just leave me the fuck alone!" you yell at the top of your lungs and Bucky seems to freeze in his spot.

Assuming this is over, you turn around and climb into bed, your back to Bucky once again.

When you hear him sigh and start moving you feel like you’re reliving yesterday, except this time you don’t expect him to kiss you but just leave.

He turns off the lights, but you frown when you don’t hear the door, instead you feel the bed dip behind you. You tense up when Bucky’s arms wrap around you from behind, bringing you closer to him with your back pressed against his chest.

"I will choose you over everyone. Even on the days where we don’t understand each other." He whispers in your ear after a moment of silence and you can’t do anything to stop the tears that start coming out as you feel Bucky holding you tighter without saying another word.

You want to believe him, you really do. But Sharon’s voice in your head is like a net, not allowing you to fall fully into Bucky, not being able to accept that someone like him truly loves you.

So you start spending your days by yourself, avoiding people as much as possible.

Everytime you're in a room with someone all you can think about is how they're probably judging you, making just want to run away and hide.

But isolating yourself does nothing to ease your worries as you now spend all your time overthinking and hating on yourself.

You start pulling away from Bucky too and it's killing him.

You still won't talk to him, everytime you're together you pretend that everything's fine.

You put on a smile he knows is fake, really doing the bare minimum to keep a conversation going and when he touches you he always gets the feeling that you wanted nothing more than to slap his hands away.

But you always try to be discreet as you inch away from him with any excuse that comes to mind.

It's the change in your relationship with Bucky that starts to clue the team in on your behavior.

As much as they have fun giving you shit for it, they all admire your closeness and were happy that you found each other.

So they start paying more attention to you. Everybody can see something's wrong, but if you wouldn’t talk to Bucky about it, really what chance do they have?

It doesn't stop them from worrying though, seeing how you seem to waste away.

You spend too much time in the gym, losing weight at an alarming rate and not getting enough sleep to function, sometimes resulting in you falling asleep during meetings or on the mat at the gym.

But you refuse to let Bruce look at you. You refuse any help really, your temper shorter than ever as you end up snapping at people more often than not.

You try to keep it together, but it's obviously not working. The only thing you manage to do is avoiding meals without anyone noticing.

After weeks on end of this, the team decides to do something to try and cheer you up, taking the opportunity of your birthday coming up.

Steve manages to convince Tony to have a small party, just the team and agents of Shield, instead of one of his big parties full of strangers.

They're careful when they approach you with the subject, having taken to walking on eggshells around you. You can’t help feeling bad for the way you’ve been treating them, so you decide to be cool about the party, even knowing deep down you’ll regret it.

Natasha and Wanda offer to go shopping with you for a new dress for the occasion, but you decline their invitation.

You know they're trying to be nice, but just the thought of going from store to store, seeing all those beautiful, skinny women trying on pretty dresses you’d never be able to fit into, together with the two gorgeous redheads, it sounds like hell to you.

Which is why you ask the team to have a more informal dress code than usual, allowing you to dress as comfortable as you can be at the moment with loose fitting pants and a large hoodie.

You arrive at the party in the ballroom of the compound that Tony just had to have and are thankful to see everyone dress casually, most of the girls not even wearing dresses.

But you still try not to linger too long on their looks, not wanting to feel worse than you already do about your own appearance.

Arms wrap around your body and you hear Bucky wish you a happy birthday.

You give him a few seconds before you wiggle away from the embrace and turn around. You give Bucky your best fake smile and thank him before kissing him quickly on the cheek and walking away towards the bar to get some water.

You don't need to be getting drunk and throwing up more than you already do every time your stomach forces you to eat anything.

You spend the whole night going from person to person, trying not to talk to anyone too long and making sure to always keep moving to avoid too many questions.

You know it's only a matter of time before they start coming. Even Fury is present, worried about you ever since he had to take you off missions for passing out on the field.

Soon came the moment you’d been dreading most: Wanda comes toward you with your favorite cake with candles lit and everybody starts singing.

You know that with being the center of attention you won't be able to get away with not eating and the team would piece things together if you try, having already gone through this years ago.

Honestly, you're a little disappointed nobody had figured it out yet, but not entirely surprised as you told yourself everyone just didn’t care enough.

And why should they when you look the way you do?

Everyone cheers as you blow on the candles, fake smile still going strong. The cake is cut and everyone is enjoying Wanda’s culinary talent. You even manage to eat yours and keep it down without looking disgusted with yourself.

Everything was going great.

You're behind the bar now taking another water bottle from the mini fridge when you accidentally knock over a glass full of straws that was thankfully made of plastic so it didn’t break.

While you're picking up straws you hear footsteps getting close to the bar that hid your kneeling figure and stop what you're doing when you hear Sharon talking about you. Again.

"And did you see how she’s dressed to her own party? No wonder Bucky’s been staying as far away as possible all night." she's basically whispering, but it's still loud enough for you to hear.

"I know, he’s probably ashamed of her. Wouldn’t surprise me if he dumped her tonight." the two girls giggle the sound seems to snap you out of your trance.

You get up so fast you scare Sharon and the other girl, their startled squeals drawing the attention of the rest of the party as everybody prepares for any danger.

But there is no danger, all everybody can see is two mortified looking agents and you with tears in your eyes that you don't even feel starting to fall.

The whole team is worried sick, everybody getting closer to the bar, but Bucky is the one that's at your side before you can even think about blinking the tears away.

"What’s wrong, baby?" he looks so worried, almost like he himself is about to cry at the mere thought of you being in pain.

But that can't be it, that's not what you're seeing.

He's probably just embarrassed you're being overly emotional for no apparent reason, and that look in his eyes is him getting ready to break up with you right here and now.

At that thought you can literally feel the cake you just ate coming back up and all you can do is run as fast as you could towards the nearest bathroom with a very concerned Bucky running after you after silently agreeing with Steve with a single look that he’ll be the one to check on you.

You make it to the toilet just in time to unload, barely registering two hands taking your hair and holding it away from your face.

You finish vomiting and clean your mouth with some toilet paper before throwing it in and flushing it, shuffling your body backwards until your back hits the tub and you close your eyes while resting your head back against it.

You feel your hair falling back down on your shoulders and can make out the sound of the faucet running for a few seconds before you feel a wet towel gently brushing your cheeks and mouth.

You open your eyes and are met with Bucky kneeling in front of you, seemingly examining every inch of your face to try and understand what’s going on.

Before he can ask you for what felt like the thousandth time though, you can't hold yourself back anymore.

"Please don’t leave me." your voice is weak enough already from all the vomiting and the sobs that start coming in certainly don't help.

Tears start to fall like waterfalls but you don't let any of that stop you from going on. "I know I said I didn’t need you, but I do. I need you so much more than you could ever know."

Bucky wraps his arms around you and he's more than relieved when you don't pull away for the first time in weeks.

Instead, you cling to him as you keep pleading with him not to leave you in between broken sobs while he moves you to sit curling on his lap.

Bucky’s heart breaks for you and he wonders if this was how you felt everytime you comforted him, feeling even more in awe of you now that he knows how hard it was to see the person you love like this.

All he wants is to make you feel better and take away all your pain, but he had no idea how.

When you show no signs of calming down after several minutes he decides to try to talk you down, hoping not to make things worse.

"Doll, I need you to calm down." he tries to pull away just enough to look you in the eyes, but you just hug him tighter, almost terrified that he's just gonna get up and leave forever if you let go and you start getting more agitated by the second. 

!Baby, please try to take deep breaths." he's trying really hard not to panic himself now. "I’m not leaving, I promise. I’m staying right here with you, but you need to calm down, please."

Maybe it's because he's basically begging you, maybe it's because of the panic and concern you think you can hear in his voice or maybe it's his grip getting impossibly tight on you that grounds you, but your brain seems to clear just enough to give your body the command and you start trying to take deep breaths.

When you loosen your hold on Bucky he grabs one of your hands and puts it on his chest right over his heart, the steady beating giving you something to concentrate on as you try your best to copy his breathing. 

It takes a few more minutes but you calm down, tears still falling silently down your cheeks while Bucky rubs your back with his metal hand, his other warm hand still over yours on his chest.

"I’m sorry I’m such a mess…" Your voice sounds foreign to your own ears, quiet, full of sadness and desperation.

This isn’t you.

This isn’t the confident, strong woman that kicked ass and defended Bucky even to your own family from day one.

What happened to you?

Unbeknownst to you, Bucky's asking himself the same question.

What happened to the sweet, bright girl that offered him a hug after five seconds of knowing him? The girl that calmed him down from a panic attack and kept him company through the night even after knowing about his past?

The girl that let him hang onto her like a koala and allowed him to let it all out? The girl that was patient with him, understanding and never once judged him, no matter how broken she’d seen him?

He really can't think of anything that could've happened to break you this much, to bring you to basically have a meltdown on a bathroom floor.

But whatever it was he needs to know now, and he's more determined than ever to find out.

"Doll, you’re not a mess. You’re hurting, I can see it. We all can. And I know you’re strong, but everybody needs help once in a while. Whatever’s been happening, you don’t have to go through it alone. Just like you didn’t let me go through anything alone. You were always there for me, you’re always there for everybody." he pauses and you take the moment to spiral further.

This is the only reason why he’s still with you. You were there for him, you cared and comforted him. So he feels the need to stay with you because Bucky’s loyal, no matter what his feelings actually are.

But he’s gonna fall in love one day with someone, and what is that gonna mean for you? He’s gonna leave you to be with the person he actually wants, loyalty or not. Your fall down the rabbit hole is stopped by Bucky’s voice.

"Please let me be there for you. This is killing me, watching you do this to yourself. Please tell me what’s going on, baby, because you’re scaring me so fucking much. Please." he finishes in a whisper.

Before you can even properly process his words, you feel a tear that's not yours fall on your cheek, making your eyes widen and you look up to see Bucky already looking down at you with tears rolling down his cheeks.

Your hand goes up to his face automatically and you feel him lean into it. You sit up straighter on his lap, leaning in to rest your forehead against his and closing your eyes while willing yourself to stop the tears long enough so you can talk.

Bucky doesn't push you, finding comfort in your touch after having missed it for what, in his opinion, is too damn long.

"I’m sorry… I just…" you don't even know how to start to explain it.

Bucky can see you're having a hard time finding the words, so he tries to help by saying "You don’t need to rush it, doll. I don’t want to push you to talk about something you clearly don’t want to... But I’ve just been so worried. You’ve been pushing everyone away, and you don’t sleep and stay at the gym until you almost pass out. You think that I don’t hear you throwing up, but I do. And, even with all your oversized clothes, I can see how much weight you’ve been losing. It’s killing me, baby, I hate to see you like this. I just want to know why." he kisses the side of your head and you're on the verge of tears again.

Trying hard to hold them back, you force yourself to speak. "I heard some people talking about me…" you start, your voice still quiet, and you go on to tell him everything.

The conversation you overheard, the insecurities that it brought to the surface, the issues you had in the past and the struggle you’ve been having the last few weeks.

By the end of it Bucky he doesn't know what to feel. He's enraged, worried sick, sad at how miserable you’ve been. Just to name a few.

But more than anything he's heartbroken at how much you’ve been questioning your relationship with him and his love for you. He's devastated to think that everytime he told you how much he loves you, you doubted him and convinced yourself he was lying.

And the worst part is he has no idea how to change your mind.

Is there anything he can say that you won’t doubt? Anything he can do to show you how much you mean to him? Probably not, but he has to try and make you understand.

Your eyes are still closed, not daring to see the disappointment in Bucky’s face.

"Baby, look at me." he says firmly but gently enough to not make you think he was in any way mad at you.

He waits patiently until you look at him which, after taking a deep breath, you do and only then he continues while taking your face in his hands "There are so many things I want to tell you right now... but I’ll start with I love you, doll. I love you so much it actually hurts. Maybe we got close because you were nice and patient with me, but that’s not why I love you. I love you because you’re kind and smart and strong and dedicated. You can kick ass like no one else and you’re still the sweetest person I’ve ever met. And I’m almost 100, I’ve met a lot of people." he smiles when he finally gets you to giggle, the first real laugh he’s heard from you in weeks.

"You’re compassionate and understanding and loyal and beautiful beyond compare. I fell in love with you because of who you are, not what you look like. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re pretty, I think you’re gorgeous and I love your body. I love everything about you. Every. Single. Thing." he punctuates every word with a kiss to each of your cheeks and then your nose, making you giggle more. "You think I’d ever leave you? I could never even consider being with someone else. God, you were never even supposed to mean this much to me! I was never supposed to fall so hard... But you know what? I did and that’s the truth, and that’s what keeps me holding on because it hurts like hell to let you go."

You're obviously in tears, not being able to look away from Bucky’s eyes even if you wanted because of his hold on your face, not that you're trying that hard to get away.

You have no words to describe the way you feel, not even being sure if you fully believe him. The look on his face, though, makes you want to believe. Makes you want to tell all the voices in your head to fuck off until the only one left is Bucky’s saying all the things he just said, over and over again.

But can you really let go of them that easily?

"You don’t have to carry this by yourself, doll." Bucky can see your internal struggle. "Lean on me. Let me help you make this easier."

There's nothing but sincerity in his eyes, he can't possibly be that good of an actor to be faking it, right?

So you decide to trust him.

You trust him with your life, why can’t you believe that he really loves you? 

You can. You do.

You will...

"Okay…" You’re basically whispering, still a little worried he’s just pretending and is gonna rip the rug from under you any second now. "I love you, so much. And I want to believe you love me… but it may take me a little while to accept that completely. I’m sorry…"

"You don’t need to apologize, baby. It doesn’t matter how much time it takes, I’m here for all of it. I want nothing more than to help you feel better, starting with helping you love yourself as much as I love you." he wipes your tears with his thumbs before he gives you a soft kiss on the lips. "And not worrying what jealous, unimportant, random people think of you. You’re beautiful inside AND out, don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Not even this." He taps the side of your head.

You wrap your arms around his neck and hug him tightly, neither one of you needing to say more at the moment. After a few minutes like this, you’re both done crying and you let go just enough to look at each other.

"Can we go to our room?" you ask him and he nods, letting you get off his lap and then getting up with you.

He doesn’t let you get too far from him while you go to the sink to try and make yourself look decent as he follows you so closely you might think you’re glued to each other.

Your eyes meet in the mirror and he smiles at you, wrapping his arms around your waist, he gives you a kiss on the shoulder before resting his head on it.

You successfully wash off all the makeup you put on for the party, your efforts now ruined by all the crying.

"You’re so pretty." Bucky tells you, his eyes never leaving yours and you smile a real smile this time, turning your head to give him a kiss on the cheek that makes him smile even more.

You get out of the bathroom and you tense up seeing everybody still at the party, your breath hitching in your throat as embarrassment crawls up on you.

You can see the team’s worried looks and the last thing you want right now is to go through the last 40 minutes all over again, in front of everybody.

You just want to go to your room and cuddle up with Bucky, but the super soldier had other plans.

"Can I have everybody’s attention?" you look at him with a frown, but he simply smiled at you and keeps going once the whole room is looking at you two. "It’s been brought to my attention that some of you have some misconceptions about our relationship."

You didn’t tell Bucky who you heard the conversation from, only that it was two agents just in case he might think it was someone on the team, and it almost looks like he's scanning every agent’s face to try and figure out who it was, but he continues nonetheless.

"I’d just like to make it clear for everyone that not only I love this woman more than life itself, but I, and everyone who knows her for that matter, think she’s the best, most caring person I’ve ever met. Not to mention the most attractive, in my ever so humble opinion." he wraps his metal arm around your waist and brings you closer as your face gets redder, and you can see the team chuckling and grinning at Bucky’s possessiveness and your flustered form. "And it’s also absolutely none of your business what happens in our relationship. But, since you’re all here I might as well give you something real to gossip about."

To say you're confused is an understatement. You turn back to him when Bucky’s arm disappear from around you just in time to see him reach into his back pocket, pulling out a ring box and getting down on one knee.

You hear gasps around the room, your own being muffled by your hand in front of your mouth as your eyes grow wide.

"Bucky..." It's barely a whisper to begin with, your hand almost not letting it escape at all.

"Baby, I meant every single thing I’ve said today. I love you so much. I’ve been carrying this around for a couple of months, looking for the right time to do this. But when you started pushing me away I thought maybe you were changing your mind about me. I was terrified and decided to wait, but I realize now if I had done this when I first wanted to, the last few weeks probably wouldn’t have happened. I could’ve saved you so much pain... I don’t know if this is the right time, but I do know that I’ve been ready for a while and right now I honestly can’t think of a better way to show you just how much you really mean to me. So…" he opens the box to reveal a rose gold ring with one big diamond at the center and two smaller ones on each side of it, then he takes your free hand on his. "Doll, will you marry me?"

He can feel you trembling, tears forming in your eyes once more as the whole room seems to hold their breath.

"Yes!" you're finally able to get out and Bucky feels like he can breathe again, happiness spreading throughout his whole body.

You basically throw yourself on him and he catches you with ease, getting up on his feet while you wraps your legs around his waist like a koala.

There's a chorus of cheers, the team immediately gathering around you to congratulate you both.

It feels like too little time when you finally detach from Bucky as he gently put you on the ground before slipping the ring on your finger and kissing it, his eyes never leaving yours, silently telling you he belongs to you and only you.

You’re about to lean in for a kiss when two strong arms pick you up making you squeal, Steve’s laughter in your ear as he says something about finally having a sister-in-law and making everybody laugh.

After a good 15 minutes of hugs left and right, Bucky intervenes.

"Okay, okay, can you please not smother my future wife?" your heart skips a beat when he says that and you're sure you're smiling like an idiot as he makes his way through the team to get to you.

"You know, he actually asked me for my blessing. I told you he cares very much about you." Tony whispers to you while he passes, giving you one last squeeze and a wink before everybody gives you and Bucky a moment.

He wraps his arms around your waist and finally kisses you.

When you pull away you both have big, goofy grins, never wanting this moment to end.

There's no separating you, and now everybody knows it.

Requested taglist: @aesthetic0cherryblossom @buchi91 @sapphirebarnes

[hardly-an-escape]

Car trip ask -- Dreamling

Famous Dream and Hob being chased by paparazzi; it's not fun as such, but they're laughing and running hand and hand to get back to their hotel

They'd made it almost the whole morning wandering around the city without being recognized, so Hob supposed he should be grateful. A few hours of peace – of precious normality – were a gift, after all.

And then the first of the paps found them, as Hob was ushering Dream out through the door of a cramped little bookstore, and then the resulting hue and cry spread down the crowded sidewalk like a miniature tsunami wave, and there were not only cameras but members of the general populace shoving their way into Hob and Dream's space.

"Well, that's torn it," Hob said, and offered Dream his hand. "Run?"

"How undignified," Dream responded dryly. But he took Hob's hand, as he always did, and they hurried down the street together.

As they always did.

Together.

Hob hadn't thought he would find love like this, not again. Not in his late thirties, and certainly not with a man. A man who'd also been married to a woman, who had also lost his wife and child in sad circumstances; who had also been, by turns, perturbed and baffled and ultimately delighted by the unexpected connection the two had forged between takes on a film set two years before.

Coming out, at that point in their respective careers, had not been an easy road. There had been pushback – both from their own people and from the public. There had been scandalized op eds published in gossip rags. Hob had had to bite his tongue on more than one red carpet when an interviewer asked them something a little too off-color (Dream had simply looked cold and imperious and stern, which he was very good at, and which was probably a more apt response, all things considered).

But even now, dodging photographers and pedestrians on the streets of New York, Hob wouldn't change a thing. Not a single blessed thing, because he had Dream's hand in his, and they were together, and they always, always would be.

They finally shook the photographers by doubling back through a busy bus stop, dodging down an alley, and walking on opposite sides of the street for a block and a half, before reuniting right in front of their hotel and slipping inside under the watchful eye of an impressively broad doorman.

They walked hand in hand across the lobby to the elevator. The receptionist gave them a friendly and professional smile, and Hob nodded gratefully in return. It wasn't until the elevator doors closed behind them that he let out the breath he felt like he had been holding for the past twenty minutes.

He would have felt self-conscious about it, were it not for the way Dream was letting out a similar exhale and melting against him as the elevator whisked them away to their suite on one of the upper floors.

"Do you ever regret it?" asked Dream suddenly.

Hob knew exactly what he was asking, and was having exactly none of it. He turned toward Dream and crowded him against the mirrored wall of the elevator, framing his narrow, noble face between his hands.

"Never," he said firmly. "Never, ever, for one singular second, have I regretted going after you." He kissed Dream once, firmly, on the lips, and a second time, more gently, just on the corner of his mouth. "I would live forever, if it meant I could spend it with you. In fact," he declared, "I plan to."

"You're going to live forever?"

"Yes." He kissed Dream again. Felt him melt just a little more.

"An eternity of this? Of running?"

"If necessary. Everyone does it. In some form."

The corner of Dream's mouth lifted. "You are not a sensible creature, Hob Gadling."

Hob laughed, throwing his head back, warm and fond and in love.

"I may be a fool," he said, as the elevator carried them ever higher. "But I've made up my mind."

come and drop a prompt in my inbox and I'll write you a drabble while I’m being a passenger princess on this road trip <3

[sokoviansimp]

I loved the last Drabble so much! Can you do one of reader getting scared whilst with someone else and wanting her mama and for a second everybody is assuming she was asking for her birth mom but she was asking for Wanda? Please??

Mama

✒ Pairings: Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes x Child!Reader (platonic)

✒ Summary: Reader gets scared whilst with someone else and wants her mama and everybody assumes she's asking for her birth mom

✒ Tags and Warnings: anxiety, flashbacks, lmk if I missed any

✒ Author's Note : I really appreciate the request! I was SO excited to write this one, what a cute Idea! Hope you enjoy. To the other requests in my inbox, I am sorry I am so slow but I will be getting to them, they're all so good :)

✒ Word Count : 2953

✒ Read Time: 15 minutes

Masterlist : The Package AU

Natasha was sitting on the floor of the living room, surrounded by a pile of toys that you had dumped out. You were crawling around, picking up different toys and examining them before discarding them just as quickly.

Examining the mess, Natasha picked up a stuffed bear and held it up to her face, pretending to growl at you. Your face lit up as you let out a squeal of delight. Natasha repeated the gesture a few more times, each time eliciting more giggles from you.

Eventually, she laid down on her back, still holding the bear up in the air. You walked over to her and climbed onto her chest, your little arms wrapping around Natasha's neck, she couldn't help but smile at the adorable sight.

"Are you trying to give me a bear hug?" Natasha asked, chuckling. You just giggled in response as you nodded your head against her chest, your tiny fingers playing with the strands of Natasha's red hair.

For a moment, Natasha forgot about all the darkness and danger that surrounded your lives. All she could see was the innocent joy and happiness on your face, and it warmed her heart more than anything else in the world. Once you were settled on her chest for the hug, you stayed put enjoying the comfort. Mindlessly playing with the redhead’s hair as you relaxed with her. 

Moments later, Wanda meandered in from the kitchen to see the two of you on the verge of sleep cuddled together on the floor. The sight was perfect, her two favorite people. It looked as if Nat was guarding you from the world, as long as you were in her arms, nothing could harm you and you’d be perfectly safe. Or maybe that’s not what it looked like to everyone, but it sure looked that way to Wanda. Maybe that’s because that’s the way that Natasha has always made her feel. When her brother died, she was there for her, no matter what she needed, sometimes before she even know she needed it, Nat provided. 

The day they found you on the mission, Natasha was there to provide support for Wanda, to make sure she knew that she’d be there to make sure no one ever hurts you again. As she watched the two of you, Wanda realized that Natasha was more than just her best friend. She felt a connection with her that she couldn't deny. It wasn't just the way Natasha made you laugh or held you when you cried, but the way she made Wanda feel when they were together.

Wanda had never felt this way before, she made her way over to pull a blanket off of the couch to lay over the two of you. She knew that she was falling in love with Natasha. She tried to push the feeling aside, telling herself that it was just a crush or infatuation, but she knew deep down that it was more than that.

You had only been with Wanda and the Avengers for a couple of months, but you were already starting to feel at home in the compound. You loved exploring the vast rooms and corridors, playing with the Avengers and their various gadgets, and spending time with Wanda, who had completely taken you under her wing. But there were still moments when things reminded you of your old life and made you scared of this new environment.

Wanda was more nervous about the night than she wished to be. Worrying about what she should wear that was appropriate but may also catch the other redhead’s eye. It was silly, they’d been friends for years and Natasha never noticed before, or was it because Wanda wasn’t trying to catch her attention, surely today would be no different. To her, Wanda was sure she would never be seen as more than a friend. She couldn’t help but think about what Nat would think of each outfit she picked out though. 

This evening was special because, for the first time since you resided at the compound, there would be guests joining for one of Tony’s gatherings. It was more tame than Tony’s parties are typically known for, it was mostly for a press announcement regarding a new watch that Stark Industries released. 

The StarkWatch, set to land on the market two weeks from today, would be equipped with state-of-the-art sensors and algorithms that can accurately measure your heart rate, blood pressure, oxygen saturation, and other key health metrics. It would also have a built-in GPS and a voice-controlled digital assistant that can help the user navigate, set reminders, and perform various tasks hands-free.

One of the most innovative features of the StarkWatch would be its holographic display, which would allow the user to access their smartphone apps and notifications in a fully immersive and interactive way. They could simply raise their wrist and see a floating 3D image of their screen, which they could manipulate with hand gestures and voice commands.

The ultimate gadget for the modern tech-savvy individual who wants to stay healthy, connected, and stylish at all times. Or at least, that’s what Tony was saying about it. The watch would be available in a range of colors and styles, and would come with a custom-designed charging dock that doubles as a stylish desk accessory. 

With the rise in smartwatches, the press was on the edge of their seat waiting to see what Stark Industries had cooked up for the market of consumer-based wearable tech. 

Every Avenger was in the audience for the announcement to show their support for Tony, even you. Wanda wasn’t planning on staying the entire time but it was important to her to at least make an appearance. Once Tony’s speech was over, the crowd shifted their attention to the tables that held food and drinks. 

While the guests were mingling and filling their plates with the finest catered food around, Tony made his way over to the crime-fighting group that you sat with. The congratulatory wishes poured from their mouths as they welcomed their friend off the stage. 

Throughout the speech, and even now, you sat comfortably on Wanda’s lap with your back to her so you could see everything that was happening. Wanda’s focus shifted from the stage to Natasha every so often as she stole glances at the redhead. You had been very well-behaved and hadn't made a sound throughout the whole event. Now that everyone else was getting out of their seat and your friend, Tony, was no longer on stage, you started to get a bit antsy in Wanda’s grasp. 

At first, you were just shifting your weight from one leg to another, but soon you were trying to wiggle your way out of her hold and off of her lap. She tried to explain to you that the appropriate thing to do right now is to keep still but you just wanted to get up and stretch your legs, and well, now that you think about it you want to go play. The event was quite boring, mostly made for grownups, and the only reason you were even there was to show support, you don’t even know what you’re supporting. Tony was up on a big stage though, I guess that’s kind of cool. 

“Are you thirsty, baby? Want me to go get you some juice?” Wanda asked into your ear as she leaned down toward you. 

“Yes, juice!” you nodded your head, “can we pway now?” you wondered as you met her eyes over your left shoulder. Your patience was wearing thin, and as much as you wanted to behave, you also wanted to go and play with your toys. You were hoping that getting up to get juice could be the perfect gateway to leave. It felt like you had been sitting in that room for hours. 

Tony caught wind of you wanting to skip out early and in an effort to keep your attention, he mentioned how you’re not going to want to miss the next act. You were instantly intrigued by his sentiment. He continued on, telling you how they’re going to demo the new features and there's going to be a whole show on stage.

The possibility of what could take place on stage left you in excited anticipation, going over different impossible scenarios in your mind. What if someone came walking in riding on a triceratops? Surely you wouldn’t want to miss that. 

Lost in your thoughts, Wanda picked you up from her lap as she stood and placed you down on the seat she was just occupying, “Can you stay here with the team while I go get you juice?” 

You nodded in response as Natasha offered to go with her. Wanda immediately tensed at the thought of being alone with her, what would they talk about? Would she make a fool of herself? Until she quickly remembered she’s her best friend and it’d be crazy to let a little crush ruin that, she had to act normal. After confirming with the team that they would be ok to watch you while she retrieved the juice, she and Nat walked off. 

“Are you thirsty too?” Wanda raised a brow to Natasha as they settled in the beverage line. 

“Thought you could use some company,” Nat answered. The past couple of days, it almost seems like Wanda has been avoiding her and she’s not sure what she did, or if she did anything for that matter. Most importantly, she wants to make sure her friend is okay because she’s just seemed off.

“Oh, thanks”

“Of course, is everything ok? -it just seems like you’ve been a bit off lately”

Wanda felt embarrassed that Natasha had noticed the shift, “how do you mean?”

“Well, I- I guess, I just haven’t seen you in a few days really. You’re not avoiding me, are you? Did I do something?” Natasha sputtered out. 

Truthfully, Wanda was avoiding Nat. Of course, she did nothing wrong, maybe even just too many things right, but surely she couldn’t admit that. “No- god no, of course not!” Wanda tried to reassure her, the last thing she wanted was to make Nat feel like she did something wrong, “I- I’ve just been busy, I’m okay though.”

“Promise?” Nat double-checked

“Promise,” Wanda reassured her

“You know you can tell me anything, Wands. I’m here for you,” the nickname made Wanda’s stomach flip. It’s not like she hasn’t heard it fall from her lips a million times before, but this was the first time after she’s begun to see Nat in a different light and it hit very differently. 

“I know, you always have been,” Wanda affirmed. 

“You look stunning today, by the way moy drug,” Nat commented. 

Muy Drug. The statement of friendship felt like a dagger to the heart for the Sokovian, “Thanks, you look good too tovarishch��� she responded. 

During their wait in line for drinks, the demo had begun setting up. The two were 3rd in line when the lights began to dim and a dramatic soundtrack blared through the auditorium, “I’m sure Y/N’s on the edge of her seat right now,” Nat mentioned as Wanda let out a chuckle and a nod hoping to make it back soon enough to see your reaction. 

The sounds began to lead up to something as the two redheads approached the front of the line. Just as the server was handing Wanda your glass of orange juice, fireworks are set off at both sides of the stage. Immediately, Wanda knew you were going to go into a panic, she quickly gave the drink to Nat and she set off for you. Natasha knew exactly why Wanda was rushing to get back to you so quickly and still, the two of them were slowed down by the crowd of people. 

At the sound of the fireworks, you immediately covered your ears and closed your eyes as tears began to form in your eyes. The sounds sent you back to your time with Hydra, as you started to shake and rock back and forth, “MAMA!” You called out, hoping she would hear you and come running to comfort you.

The sound of you calling out for your mom broke Bucky’s heart as he tried to calm you the best he could. He knew your mom was never coming back but he didn’t know how to explain that to a 3-year-old. “Y/N, it’s ok, they’re just fireworks. It’s fake booms.” He tried to tell you. 

“Want mama,” you stated as you began to cry.

“I know, I’m sorry kid, your mama isn’t here,” he said as he reached out to hold you. Bucky begins bouncing you up and down in an attempt to soothe you when Wanda and Nat finally return with your juice.

“MAMA!” you yell as you reach your arms out toward Wanda.

Bucky was taken aback by your action, he assumed that when you were calling for your mama, you were wanting your birth mother. The entire team had a similar reaction in their heads. It was heart-warming to see that you thought of Wanda as your mother. As soon as she’s within arms reach, she takes you from Bucky, silently thanking him for taking care of you. 

You quickly nuzzled into Wanda’s neck as she rocked you back and forth, rubbing your back in sooting circles. You soon calmed down, feeling safe and sound in her arms. 

Natasha, standing there holding your juice was taking it all in. The way Wanda was so attentive and caring for you made her smile, and now to see you calling her your mama, Natasha was so happy for Wanda. She knew how much having a family meant to her, and she was so happy to see it happening before her very eyes. The love she held for you both was immeasurable. 

“Juicy,” You say reaching toward Natasha for the juice she held for you. It took Natasha a couple of seconds to register that she was meant to respond by handing you your juice, lost in the way Wanda was coddling and swaying you, “Yes, here you go, Y/N careful small sips,” she mentions as she raises it to your lips for you to drink. 

“Tank yew Natty,” you muttered with a smile on your face as you pulled pack from the straw to nuzzle back into Wanda’s neck. 

“I think we should go now, congratulations again Tony,” Wanda sincerely noted to her friend as she went to carry you out of the theatre. 

“Natty come too?” You said reaching one arm out toward Natasha. The action was too cute to turn down, not that she wanted to anyway.

“Of course” she said as she followed you and Wanda out. 

Once the 3 of you reached the common room, Nat suggested watching a movie to calm down from the chaos of the night, “Fwozen?” you wondered

Nat chuckled, having watched Frozen with you twice already this week, “Frozen it is!” 

Wanda internally winced at the decision, becoming tired of the same movie occupying the screen everytime she sat in front of it, but she didn’t say anything as she knew you had a rough night. 

Wanda sat on the couch with you snuggled up against her, wrapped in a warm blanket as they watched Frozen on the TV. Natasha was sitting on the other side of the couch, but Wanda couldn't help but notice how she kept inching closer, until their legs were touching.

As the movie played on, Natasha reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair from Wanda's face. Wanda felt her heart race as she turned to look at Natasha. Their eyes met and Wanda felt a sudden jolt of electricity between them.

They both looked away, pretending to focus on the movie, but their minds were elsewhere. As the scene with Anna and Kristoff began to play out on screen, Natasha's hand found its way onto Wanda's thigh. Wanda felt her skin flush as Natasha's fingers began to rub soothing circles.

Wanda couldn't concentrate on the movie anymore. Her mind was consumed with thoughts of Natasha. As the scene played out with Anna and Kristoff sharing a kiss, Wanda couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. She wanted nothing more than to be the one sharing a kiss with Natasha.

As the movie came to an end, Wanda got up to put you to bed. As she tucked you in, she couldn't help but feel distracted. She knew she had feelings for Natasha now, and she couldn't shake them. As she turned to walk back to the living room, she was met with the same emerald eyes that have been consuming her thoughts for the past week. 

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Nat offered

Without a word, Wanda walked past Natasha so that she could leave you alone to sleep, Nat took this as a queue to follow, “I’m fine Nat, I promise” Wanda insisted, wanting desperately to let this whole thing go. 

“Hmm” Nat hummed in response, knowing that there was something on her friend’s mind. Surely there was something on hers too, but she wasn’t sure if it was the right time to bring it up. 

“Hmm? What’s that supposed to mean?” Wanda countered, pressing on. 

“Means I don’t believe you,” Nat said as she walked out, leaving the redhead alone with her thoughts and her feelings. Thoughts swirling around her head of what Nat really knew. Was she being too obvious? Nat’s her best friend, of course, she can see something is off, but did she know that it was because of her?

Taglist: @mymommawanda@livslifeonline@reggierizzoli@mythixmagic@lesbicentism@marvelogic@katethewriter @inluvwithfictionalwomen @spooky-reader1 @marvelogic ​@kissforvoid

[peachymilkandcream]

My Husband, My Monster|Part 1|William Afton x Wife!Reader

(A/N: So this is the fandom that won the poll! I'll try and keep these and Break Me Slowly regular, but still feel free to give me requests for both in my inbox, I do oneshots and headcanons as well as I'll answer your questions and comments! (Please just read the rules first) I think I have a general timeline and idea of the lore [It's FNAF lore it's complicated as fuck] so I'm going with my best guess on things. Hope you guys enjoy!)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, power imbalance, age difference, manipulation, mind breaking, yandere themes, yandere behaviours, domestic violence, misogyny, violence, William's a warning himself, etc.

=============================================

Who knew that a bit of twisted words and cash made all of your problems go away? William had struggled to stay open with Henry Emily's company showing such strides in mechanical technology. He was still wearing homemade cloth suits while his rival had dancing puppets that children adored. His dreams and ideas were being stolen right out from under him in his eyes, rolling in mountains of debt and the threat of closing down looming over his head. They were his characters, his dream, his business idea, and the bastard had to steal it and make it better. Even though he had bought William out of debt all those years back, it didn't change the sting of defeat when the two businesses merged.

Now he didn't regret it, Fredbear's Family Diner was just starting out but it was already projected to be a success. His characters took centre stage and had never been more alive, delighting young and old alike, his legacy started now.

Which is when he noticed the girl sitting at a table with her friend, they were giggling and laughing together over some inside joke. William had always had a soft spot for pretty girls, his more reckless years spent taking what women offered him freely, now he didn't have the time.

However for this girl he might just be able to make the time.

Casually he walks over, pretending to just be passing by, when he spies the job application she's filling out on the table and catching snippets of their conversation.

"I'm just saying, you're not going to have time for school while getting even a part time job." The friend was saying this, a slightly concerned expression on her face. "And now offence, you're not the brightest bulb, you need all the time to study that you can get."

"Well thanks." She mutters, giggling slightly. "But I can't afford college with my situation now. Mom and Dad agreed to pay for most of it, but-" She hesitates with a blush. "I want the full college experience."

"Ooh~" Her friend seems intrigued. "My best friend finally loosing her innocence? Scandalous."

She scoffs. "Look I just haven't found the right guy yet, it'll happen when it happens."

At this William can't help but interject. "Excuse me, I couldn't help but glance over your shoulder and see you're applying for a job here."

She meets his eyes, and man was he a sucker for a pretty face. "Yeah I am, are you a manager here?"

He chuckles a little. "No actually, I'm the owner." While co-owner was technically true he liked to tell people he owned it solely to give himself an ego boost. "If you wanted, I could do the interview right here."

"Wait really?"

"Actually, she's fine, thanks, she's going to get a job with my mom or something. Come on let's go-" Her friend slides out of the booth, trying to drag the woman with her.

"Well I'm going to be brutally honest with you here ma'am, for a girl your age your options are going to be extremely limited. And even though the pay isn't great it's a great experience."

She stops, considering his words before waving off her friend. "Go ahead, I think I'll still fill it out, never hurts."

"If you'd like I can interview you right now, save some time."

"Oh wow that would be awesome-"

"Seriously? Listen, this guy gives me a weird feeling, let's just go okay? And I'll find you something better." The friend again reaches for her to come along, but the girl refuses.

"I'm serious, go on and I'll tell you how it went later."

With a huff her friend leaves, a clearly annoyed expression evident on her face.

William regains his composure before sitting across from her. "So, a job. Tell me what you can do." He crosses his hands on the table in front of her, a smile easily coming to his face.

"Well, I was thinking I would be a good server, I'm good with people, especially kids, and I love to clean. I can cook pretty well too but I think something at this scale would be too much for me." She laughs a little, clearly trying to ease a little nervousness.

He joins in on her laughter, hoping to make her comfortable around him, since that's what he wanted. "I suppose that's fair. Out of curiosity, why is it you want this job?" She was hired already, that he knew, a pretty face with a nice ass? What more could you want from an employee?

"Well I'm in college, and I want to be able to afford just some extras to really experience that life before it's too late."

"College?" He feigns interest, in his opinion all she was doing was wasting her most fertile years and her money. If she's halfway decent at any of her qualifications then she'd easily find a rich enough man like him, pop out a few kids and have a truly fulfilling life. "Can I ask what for?"

"Psychology, the human mind has always fascinated me."

"Oh yes definitely." He suppresses an eye roll, even more of a useless degree, maybe he could help this girl from throwing her life away because she thinks deep thoughts will make her money. "Then I should ask for your class schedule for hours."

"Right, I always keep it with me because I'm always forgetting." She giggles again, pulling it out of her purse and handing it to him. "I cannot work these times but anything else I'm there."

Wanting these hours to know when not to schedule this girl was the last thing on William's mind. "Well I'll do what I can, but it's not that easy, you have to be flexible in the real world."

"Of course, I understand that sir."

"William, call me William. My grandfather was sir and my father was Mr. Afton, so I'm just William." He flashes another smile, coaxing one from her lips as well.

"Alright, William." She tests his name out on her tongue with a soft smile and a subtle blush, the poor girl clearly hasn't been within five feet of a man before.

"Now Miss, have you had any work experience prior to this?"

"No, I haven't, this sounds entitled but I've never really had the need to up until now?"

"There's nothing wrong with that, although I'll need to teach you the proper dynamic between employee and employer. But I trust that won't be a problem, right?"

"Not at all sir-er-William. I'm more than happy to learn."

"Good, all you need to know is that I'm your friend, but I have authority over you so you need to follow what I say without question."

"Why without question?"

Oh she was so naive. "Insubordination, it's grounds with which you can be fired. So best not to stray too far towards that right?" He winks.

"Absolutely-" She shivers slightly.

"Then if that's it..." He draws the moment out for it to seem authentic. "Welcome to Fredbear's Family Diner and we're happy to have you on the team." He extends a hand to shake, which she grasps eagerly, her rows of white teeth on full display.

"Oh thank you so much! When do I start?"

"We'll have you start next week, let's say, Monday."

"That's perfect, that's so perfect-" She glances at the door. "I really should go, I think I've pissed her off enough as it is, thank you for your time." She shakes his hand and hurries out the door.

"Oh trust me, don't worry about it." He watches her go, a small smile coming to his face.

This was just the beginning.

[greenerteacups]

Hi, hi! I never shut up in my fic comments, so I’m going to practice restraint here and quietly scream that I find everything about Lionheart delightful. It’s such a smart, witty, honest, beautiful, and deeply romantic story that honors a character arc for Draco that scratches so many itches in my brain. Every time I read it, I feel spoiled. 

I have SO MANY questions and general exclamations, but I’ll stick to one. I always love reading your thoughts, but there is zero, null, zip pressure to respond in any way. Just think of this ask as an energetic virtual wave. 

So, if your Narcissa and Molly were forced to name each other’s biggest flaw, what would they say? (I ask this knowing that what whatever they said wouldn’t necessarily be true, of course.) I’m endlessly fascinated by their parenting, but also the lives they lead beyond it. Molly and the Order. Narcissa and the pureblood circles she’s navigated her whole life. They both so obviously love their children, but I can’t ever decide if Molly’s dislike for Narcissa (I mean, I’m assuming she dislikes her) would include a stiffly admitted “you’ve raised a good son,” or if she’d say “Draco became good in spite of you.” 

<3 Tig

TIG!! Hello! I read your comments religiously, and by that I mean with the totemic reverence properly afforded to King St. Stephen of Hungary's right forearm. I hoard them in my inbox like Smaug's jewels and kick my feet like a schoolgirl over them. Or like a very schoolgirlish mixed metaphor of a dragon, that is. The longer, the more dragonly schoolgirling. To wit, I have been grinning at this stupidly for like, five whole minutes.

What would Narcissa and Molly say about each other? I wonder, I wonder. They're quite alike in being protective and (in their way) nurturing mothers. They both take pains to keep their children out of the war effort, albeit somewhat unsuccessfully. They're also very prideful, domineering, and intent on getting their own way. I think Draco acclimates to Molly's parenting style when he's around the Weasleys in part because it's so similar to his own home: you have a present and visibly dominant mother figure, who gives most of the orders, and then an auxiliary (or, in Lucius's case, absent) father figure whose name is usually invoked only to give force to the mother's commands. They also had children around the same time, though Molly was a mother years before Narcissa was, and so probably thinks of Narcissa as quite young. I expect there would be an element of mutual condescension, if not outright scorn. Both of them believe very strongly that their ideas are The Right Things, and if you disagree with them, it doesn't matter what your reasons are, you are simply Wrong. They have equally inflexible moral compasses that happen to be oriented around radically different poles.

They are also both — and I don't think it's a spoiler to say this, because everything I'm about to say is stated in the text — extremely competent fighters. Narcissa never fought in the first Wizarding War, but she's still an accomplished duelist, and formidable enough to have the respect of both Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore. She's an expert Occlumens, practiced Legilimens, and her husband was the Dark Lord's right hand. Molly Weasley, on the other hand, is one of the only people alive to have beaten Alastor Moody in a duel, and one of the few people in the Order who seems to feel comfortable giving shit back to him at Grimmauld Place. It's worth noting, too, that Molly is fairly bellicose as a person — she has a snap-your-fingers temper — and among her seven children, you have (canonically speaking):

a curse-breaker (one of the hardest/most demanding intellectual jobs in the wizarding world),

a dragon-tamer (holy fuck),

a Head Boy with more N.E.W.T.s than Hermione canonically has, who got a high-ranking aide position in Wizard Parliament straight out of high school,

two crackpot inventors who start a business selling bioweapons at age 17,

a chess prodigy who beats a 50-something master at age 11; hijacks a flying manual car, teaches himself to drive it, flies the fucking thing from Devon to Surrey, and kidnaps his best friend; subsequently flies it again from LONDON to HIGHLAND SCOTLAND; uses said car to bulldoze a horde of giant spiders; threatens a serial killer to his face, while nursing a broken leg; breaks into the wizarding version of MI6; blows it up; ensuingly helps prosecute a war effort to prevent a fascist takeover of Britain; and:

Ginny Weasley.

And on the other hand, you have Narcissa (in Lionheart), whose children, though few in number, consist of:

Draco Malfoy (prodigious, annoying, thus far remarkably hard to kill).

So regardless of your stance on the nature/nurture debate, you have to believe there's some fairly intense parenting happening on either side of the equation.

In my fic, they also both hold similar roles in the present: involved in the war effort, but not in the same way some of their colleagues are, either by choice (Molly being the de facto quartermaster for the Order safehouse, and hence the Order) or by necessity (Narcissa being unable to come out publicly on either side of the conflict without putting herself, and Draco, in danger). Those positions of "neutrality," which for both of them is really just a cover for their work as covert operatives, is made possible by the fact that they are mothers. No one would suspect the impoverished housewife Molly Weasley of running a guerrilla military out of her kitchen; likewise, few would suspect reclusive, tragic pureblood widow Narcissa Malfoy of being the pet huntress of Albus Dumbledore. Which is part of what makes them so effective. There's also something in the fact that they're both very feminine, both in their position and how they hold themselves, but they embody different aspects of femininity — specifically, the elements of femininity that are useful to their cover. Molly leans heavily into her role as the blustering, bossy, overworked mother, to the point that most of her children don't see her as anything else. Narcissa, on the other hand, leans into the "Mater dolorosa" angle, presenting herself as this demure, ladylike mistress-of-the-house, which is helped by the fact that her husband's death gives her an excuse not to go out often. The perception that she's a frail widow crippled by grief — which is anything but the truth, as becomes clear pretty much by her first appearances of Lionheart — means that people in her pureblood circles don't make the same demands of her that they would of Lucius, and she absolutely exploits that to her advantage. They're both Gen X women who grew up during (if not slightly before) the second-wave feminist movement; their relationships with sex and social position flow from that. They don't break molds; they flip them to their advantage.

Anyway, I've totally neglected your question. To wit: Narcissa would say that Molly's greatest flaw is her inability to conceive of an ideal more important than happiness. Molly would say that Narcissa's is cowardice.

[piratefishmama]

For one night only | part 1

“Huh?” Oh, how eloquent of him, truly, what a wordsmith. Steve only smiled wider, not a fake one either, it reached his eyes in a way that made them sparkle and Eddie couldn’t believe he’d just thought about a guys eyes sparkling when he smiled good lord how gay was he?!

“I’m Steve, I know you’re a metal guy, right? All that loud music do your hearing in, sweetheart?” Steve didn’t need to do homework on his clients, the company did that for him, but he did get access to the guys profile when he accepted the invite, the profile containing bits of information such as occupation, height, weight, age, etcetera.

He’d not even thought twice when the invite pinged into his inbox shortly after he’d switched his availability to SFW only, not for any particular reason. He just wasn’t feeling the need for sex. Wanted to be wined and dined, maybe flaunted, and pampered, an awards event with a gods honest rock star who might be accepting an award that night? Sounded perfect to him.

“S-sweet… Sweetheart?” He would later deny how high his voice got as he parroted that word, Christ, get it together, Munson! “Music… uh… loud, yep, yep loud music, that’d be it. Uhm… you uh… Steve, Steve Harrington. Right.” Hey, um, brain? How about you start working. Sound good? Steve didn’t remember him, he didn’t remember him, what a crushing blow, but… could he really claim to have expected anything less?

His high school crush not remembering his name, or who he was, or what he even looked like. Yeah, it was a little crushing, but Steve had always run in different circles. He’d never been cruel to him or the D&D gang, but he ran in the circles that had been cruel. Circles containing people now working in office 9-5’s or... as devastatingly handsome escorts, holy fuck.

A smile like that didn’t deserve to be judged by association, though. They weren’t in high school anymore. They weren’t in high school, and he was a rockstar. He did not have any reason to go all wibbly-kneed over the hottest man he had still ever seen. How was Steve still the hottest man he’d ever seen? He was a goddamn rockstar, he hung around celebrities every other week and here he was mooning over his high school crush again, when said high school crush didn’t even know who he was, again.

“Steve Harrington, that’s me. Are you going to let me in or are we going to go through everything in the hallway, I’m not fussed either way, but discretion is usually preferred in these circumstances.” Eddie had had his kinks listed in his profile, of course, but considering the SFW nature of the evening, he didn’t think he needed to worry about that blatant ‘Expeditionist’ kink among the others that he’d definitely looked once or twice at in interest. The security guards seemed to be fighting back smiles, professionalism an all that jazz.

“Y-yeah, yep, c’mon in Steve Harrington, into my hotel room, yep.” Jesus H Christ. He hung his head in shame as Steve let out the most charming of laughs and walked in when invited, the subtle breeze as he passed by carrying the scents of jasmine, bergamot, a note of amber undergrowth, and... God he didn’t even know but it smelled pricy and delightful. He shut the door to block out the subtle snort from the security guard on the left as he struggled to hold back his laugh, shoulders trembling as he fought to hold it back.

Shut up, Darrell.

“You seem kind of stuck on my name, should I be concerned?” Steve turned around, the backdrop of his window overlooking the city behind him, fuck, how was he still so handsome? What the shit was in the Harrington's DNA to create such a masterpiece?

“Uhm...” To tell him, or not to tell him, the band would probably blow it unless he could get to them and tell them to zip it, but... keeping it from him felt dishonest. Starting anything, even a loose acquaintanceship with an escort shouldn’t start with dishonesty, but... did he really not remember him at all?! “You... don’t remember me, do you?”

Steve tilted his head a little to the left, brows furrowing a little in thought “I’ve never accepted an invite from you before, have I?” Ouch. Alright then. A particularly vindictive little gremlin on his shoulder declared he should keep the connection a secret, see where dishonesty took them, but his little angel was thankfully much louder.

“N-no, no, uhm... we ah—we went to school together, Steve.” It was out there, in the space between them, Steve seemed surprised but didn’t answer, clearly trying to remember. “Super senior? Stood on tables and yelled at people in the cafeteria for conforming to the man? D&D club president...? Any of this ringing any bells?” Steve’s gaze dropped to the carpet, eyes searching, brows furrowed further. “It’s OK, man, it was a long—”

“No no, I... shit, I got knocked around a little in high school. The old man had me in boxing to make me a man, I guess. I wasn’t very good at it, so I uh... my memory isn’t what it should be, concussions an stuff, but... did we talk?” Oh, understanding dawned on him.

Steve used to just appear in the halls, looking like he’d gone toe to toe against a goddamn brick wall at random. Perfection painted in purples, blues, reds, and yellows but never not perfect.

“No... no we didn’t, it's OK...” and it was, it wasn’t Steve’s fault that his old man had been a douchebag. “Best place to start is fresh I guess!” He could be totally normal about this. He held out his hand “Eddie Munson.” Steve’s smile returned, radiant and kind as he reached over and took it. His hand larger, warmer, his grip strong and his fingers impossibly soft.

“Steve Harrington, nice to officially meet you, Eddie.”

Part 3

[magniloquent-raven]

What do you think of an AU where Billy lives post season 3 and gets adopted by Murray and Alexei?

They would probably have a dynamic very similar to the El and Hopper's one in season 2.

What do you think?

OOooo an anon blessing my inbox, hello 💜

I think it would be an absolute mess tbh. At least at first. Because Billy is difficult, and Murray is prickly at the best of times (and not above fighting with children lmao). Alexei might be the least confrontational of them, but he's more likely to get a kick out of all the arguing than try to stop it.

Mostly aimless rambling under the cut lol

I'm thinking no Hopper death fake-out in this AU? He never liked Billy much, despite how polite the kid always was when he got pulled over. Something about him always seemed off. But then he nearly died saving El. She pulls him aside while Billy's in the hospital, and with that serious crease between her eyebrows, tells him just enough to convince him Billy doesn't have a home to go back to. So he makes arrangements.

And like. Murray isn't exactly his first choice. But. He doesn't have a lot of options. He needs someone with the funds and the space to house an entire traumatized teenager, and it needs to be someone who knows what happened to him.

It's temporary, Hopper assures them. The kid's eighteen, he just needs somewhere to stay while he heals up and gets enough money together to get a place of his own. It won't be that much of an imposition. It's the right thing to do. Say yes, because he needs somewhere to go, I swear to god, Murray.

Billy treats Hopper doing him a favour like it's a punishment. He's sullen the whole way there. Silent in the passenger seat of the cruiser, a half-full duffel bag in his lap. He doesn't want to be back in Hawkins with Neil, but that doesn't mean he wants to stay with some creepy guy and his weird Russian roommate. He can take care of himself, and this charity bullshit is fucking insulting.

Thing is though, Billy doesn't outright say that. He doesn't talk that way to adults, as a rule. Neil's rule. He will say please and thank you, no matter how wooden it sounds. He takes his issues out on peers, not the people with power over him.

So he barely says two words to Murray and Alexei that first day. They're not exactly thrilled to have him around, so they're not getting in his business anyways. It's awkward. Billy holes up in the guest room Murray's been using for storage, and alternates between restless sleep and staring at the water-stained ceiling.

It takes three days for Murray to get annoyed at Billy's I'm On My Best Behaviour act. It's insincere as hell, and Murray's always hard pressed not to call people out for lying. So he prods. Under the guise of small talk, at first. He asks how Billy knows Hopper. Asks what he's planning to do once he's healed up more. Mentions that Max has called like four times and Billy has yet to even check the messages.

Which. Does not go over well. Billy knows what he's doing, Neil does it all the time. Asking pointed questions, hoping to get a rise out of him. If Billy reacts he has a reason to punish him. If Billy breaks, he's not strong enough, not good enough. He needs a firmer hand, more discipline. But just because Billy knows doesn't mean he can stop himself from snapping, lashing out, getting angry and defensive and sneering.

And then he braces himself for the fallout. A belt, a hand, an insult. Punishment for not keeping his mouth in check. It's instinct, getting keyed up, waiting, waiting...

For a hit that never comes. In fact, Murray seems relieved. Delighted. "Fucking finally," may have been his exact words.

So Billy's just wound up over nothing, without direction he's snapping at shadows, flinching and biting. But no one seems to mind the teeth.

They argue a lot after that. Billy and Murray. Over music being played too loud, and whether Billy's allowed to drink when he's still got hospital stink on him, and dumb, inconsequential shit like that. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's Murray saying too much and Billy tasting blood. Sometimes it's Billy getting pushy and entitled, using his scars as an excuse to take up more space than he was invited to.

Meanwhile Alexei just seems to be along for the ride. Billy teaches him some English swear words (mostly by accident and then definitely on purpose) and Alexei returns the favour. They are both absolute menaces when Murray declares he's going grocery shopping, and they've taken to teaming up about it. Murray is this 🤏 close to kicking Billy out after Billy introduces Alexei to Metallica and discovers that he likes it.

And then there's the gay thing. Like. Murray and Alexei aren't hiding their relationship, they decided it would be too much work and if the kid had a problem with it he could find somewhere else to live. But they're not super obvious either, just. Naturally. So it takes Billy a minute to realize. In his defence, he's got a lot going on.

It's not a huge grand reveal, he just sort of. Notices some things. And then puts the pieces together. And then panics. He spends the entire day after his revelation hiding in the guest room. Panicking.

He doesn't know why exactly it terrifies him so much. He doesn't have to hide from Neil anymore, and barely anyone even knows he's alive, it's not like there's going to be rumours going around about Billy shacking up with some old gay dudes. But he feels exposed anyways. Self-conscious. He starts to wonder if Hopper knew somehow, and that's why he's here. Maybe the girl who was in his head has been going around telling people about him.

The next day, he manages to come out of his room, but he isn't over it. They notice him acting weird, despite how hard he tries to keep it under wraps. Alexei figures it's a PTSD thing, they all know Billy has nightmares. He's entitled to some off days.

But Murray clocks him. Because of course he does. He flinches when Alexei touches Murray's shoulder, briefly, innocently, but Billy has to look away and that's when Murray realizes.

Not the why of it, not at first, but he realizes that Billy's being weird about their relationship. And he doesn't handle it the best. He's started to like the kid, is the thing. Billy's a pain, and he's an awful little brat, but he's grown on him. Like a hissy little cat that never lets you pet it. It's not nice, but sometimes it does cute little cat things and you're endeared anyways. Billy can be funny, sometimes. He helps out around the house but pretends not to. And he's unexpectedly smart.

And now he's being. Like this. And maybe it sort of hurts. So maybe Murray says some things he shouldn't. Pointed comments, from what Murray knows about Neil he's sure that's where this came from, and he doesn't hesitate to let Billy know that. Billy might've moved states to get away from his father but it looks like he might've brought him along for the ride anyways.

Which obviously does not go over well. And it's the way Billy responds, his fear and the cadence of his anger. That has Murray saying "Oh, this is a self-hatred thing." Without thinking.

It's the first time Billy cries in front of them.

It's not for long. A moment of shock, and tears slipping down his cheeks, he's there just long enough for them to see his face before he bolts, and locks himself in the guest room.

They don't ever really talk about that whole conversation. Not outright. It takes weeks for things to go back to normal. Billy's back to not saying much of anything, and Murray feels guilty enough not to push about it. Alexei's trying to mediate, for once, but it doesn't help. Everyone involved is too stubborn to take advice.

Months later, when Billy's a little bit drunk and a little bit sleep deprived, he finally admits out loud that Murray was right. Entirely out of the blue.

They still don't discuss the fight, not directly. They just. Talk. About growing up queer. About parents. It's a little stilted. A little awkward. But it's a turning point. And it's good.

misc. thoughts:

Alexei helped open the new gate and is therefore a little bit responsible for what happened to Billy? When Alexei realizes this he starts coddling Billy to make up for it. It's little things at first, buying him sweets and letting him choose what they watch on TV, but Billy starts to notice him walking on eggshells and gets irritated, pushing to see where this sudden grace will end. He kind of just assumes he's being treated this way because of his injuries, but when he eventually finds out who Alexei actually is and what he did shit kind of blows up. Billy straight up leaves the house for the first time since he moved in. Just walks out. Alexei tells Murray what happened and Murray gets angry at Billy, only realizing later (after Billy comes back, at like 3am) that he was so pissed because he was worried

Hopper has no idea that Murray and Alexei are together, and part of the reason Murray was so annoyed about taking in another stray is because babysitting would cut into the time he can spend with his boyfriend

Everyone in Hawkins (except the main characters) thinks Billy is dead, and this has been really hard for Max. Neil left, and she's glad he's gone, she's glad Billy's away from him and that her mother doesn't have to deal with him anymore. But it's also extremely difficult to watch her mother grieve both Billy and her marriage.

Briefly considered making that thought Billy had about Hopper putting him up with Murray and Alexei because of the gay thing actually true

[mecachrome]

i am once again doing my daily pilgrimage to your inbox to talk about landoscar.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE DRIVERS GUESS THEIR RATING VIDEO??? 'cause that thing was shockfull of 👀 landoscar moments

lando's 'okay 🙄.... if that's all you're giving me' and oscar's facial expressions throughout that whole section and his laugh 😀 (and don't even talk to me about how oscar is legit checking lando out there 👀)

'experience, 78?!' 'you are old man'

'got involved in an incident last weekend.... so did i to be honest 😆👀'

'i have never seen an 8 drawn like that before but...' 'neither have i'

'awareness of what' *drops pen* 'your awareness just dropped right there my friend.'

'90 awareness?! wow.. i think that's ambitious personally.' 'i think you're aware of....' 'things?' 'things.' '...thank you'

'i'm gonna go 90 as well 😃' 'shoot 😄'

*lando gives oscar 84 and a half overall* ....... *changes it to 86 and a half*

*lando points at experience* 'this one is just getting older really, isn't it? so i just need to be an old bloke?' *oscar does zenday laugh*

....................anyway i am totally normal about this video 😭

screaming crying why is this the perfect summary... WHY ARE LANDOSCAR ALWAYS SO THEMSELVES. i mean not that i really care but what boggles my mind about people calling them a pr friendship is that if you stick them in front of a camera they genuinely just plainly enjoy bantering with each other so much you can't force that kind of effortless mutual rapport 😭 i'm just saying.

also the 8 thing is like... the way they always find a joke to hold onto/come back to like oscar feeling the need to point out his weird handwriting and then lando calling him out 5 seconds later. Literally though lando's peeved expression at "ok that's all you're giving me" and oscar being SO delighted by his reaction... oscar refusing to give lando a better rating on pace than him... the overly specific half-point as a weird flirting technique... If I Speak !!!!!!!!!!!

[iam93percentstardust]

for your kiss prompts, i think ""i think this is the part where you're supposed to kiss me"" has big Tony energy 💋

Aha! I return! Just like before, this is Part 1 of a 3-part fic combined from the other two prompts in my inbox

Hope you enjoy! <3

~

Steve had almost said no when Natasha set him up on yet another blind date. He’s been on way too many of those things and he’s getting tired of them. It’s not that the people she recommends are bad but none of them have clicked with him like he was hoping for when she’d first suggested the idea. Natasha is a great matchmaker; she’s set up most of the people in their circle of friends. And after years of trying and failing to find a long-term partner, Steve had been willing to take a chance on just about anyone. He’d had high hopes for her suggestions, though; after all, no one else had seen the potential in Sam and Bucky. But none of them had worked out.

When she’d come to him with another date after the last failure, he’d almost turned her down. He’d been planning on turning her down. He’s still not sure how she’d talked him into agreeing to just one more blind date.

But he’s glad that he did because Tony is amazing. He’s funny and smart and a great tipper, which is always a plus in Steve’s book. He listens intently as Steve talks about his art and doesn’t go so over his head when he’s talking about his own work in robotics. They don’t agree on anything but the big things, but somehow, arguing with Tony over his favorite books and movies and hot drinks is more fun than if they liked all of the same things.

He had walked to the restaurant since he lives only a few blocks away. As it turns out, so does Tony, though in the opposite direction, so Steve offers to walk him home because his ma raised a gentleman. Tony looks delighted at the hand that Steve offers him and takes it, shyly confessing that he’s never had a partner who wanted to hold hands in public (Steve would like to hunt down every person who never wanted to be seen in public with him).

When they reach Tony’s apartment—a much nicer building than the one Steve lives in, all gilded Art Deco and bright open spaces—Tony tugs them to a stop just under the awning.

“This was really nice,” he says. “I’d like to do this again.”

“Oh good, me too,” Steve replies around a relieved sigh and then immediately wants to put his face in his hands. That probably sounded too eager, didn’t it? He’s supposed to play it cool, say something like ‘yeah, sure,’ right?

Tony, however, just giggles. “It’s nice not having to worry if you’re playing games,” he says. Oh. That makes things better.

“So I guess we should exchange phone numbers, then?” he asks. It’s been so long since he cared about a second date that he’s forgotten how this is supposed to go.

“Probably,” Tony agrees and waits for Steve to pull out his phone so he can recite his number. Steve texts him a quick This is Steve, so Tony will have his number.

“Guess I should wish you a goodnight, then,” Steve says, kind of wishing that the night never had to end.

“You don’t think you’re forgetting something?” Tony looks very amused.

Steve thinks back over the night. He’s got his wallet, he has Tony’s phone number, they’ve agreed to see each other again. “…No?”

“I think this is the part where you’re supposed to kiss me,” Tony says.

“Oh!” Steve exclaims. “You’d—you’d like that?”

Tony steps in closer to him, running his hands over Steve’s shoulders. “Yeah, big guy, I’d like that a lot.”

Well, Steve can kiss him. That’s totally something he can do. That’s—Tony kisses him first, tasting like strawberry daiquiris and powdered sugar from the dessert they’d shared. Steve’s hands settle on his hips, fingers digging into the probably-expensive fabric of his shirt. His eyes flutter closed, his mind blank, existing in the moment instead of worrying about what happens next.

It comes to an end all too soon. Tony steps back, and Steve’s eyes open again in time to see his soft smile.

“Goodnight, Tony,” Steve murmurs.

Tony leans in to kiss his cheek. “Goodnight, Steve. I’ll text you.”

“Okay,” he agrees, thinking it’ll be the next day before Tony contacts him for another date. But to his surprise, he’s barely gone two feet down the street before his phone buzzes.

He pulls it out and can’t help smiling at the message: Are you free tomorrow?

Alright, so maybe Natasha’s pretty good at this after all.

[animeyanderelover]

Hello😄Could I request Hashirama,Tobirama,Madara,Itachi,Tsunade,Sasuke,Obito,and shisui with a darling that is a ghoul?

Holidays start in about a month for me so I'll try to schedule a day where I open my inbox again.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, restriction, isolation, abduction, violence

Darling is a ghoul

Madara Uchiha

🌑You've been using the corpses that the war produces as your source of food, always steal the bodies of the dead to stock somewhere. One day to your great misfortune, you get caught by the Uchiha attempting to steal one of their dead comrades and they instantly attack you as they see that you don't belong to their clan. They're merciless so you're left with little to no choice but to fight back and for a short few seconds, you manage to catch them by surprise. Your own red orbs mirroring their own eerily much and you use that distraction to try to escape. One glance into their Sharingan as they chase after you traps you into their Genjutsu though and when you regain your consciousness, you're heavily chained and kneeling on the ground. In front of you is no one else besides Madara himself who has been informed about you and your strange abilities as one of the first. Judging from his cold tone, you know that fooling around might get you executed or tortured so you don't see any other option besides revealing what you are.

🌑 Your revelation is a sensation and you're kept imprisoned inside their campus as the eldest and Madara discuss what to do with you. Some are a bit wary as you feed from humans, others see in you a great new weapon. Madara decides to see for himself what you're capable of so you're forced very soon into a fight with him where he attacks you relentlessly. You don't know any jutsu yet somehow manage to keep somewhat up as your regenerative abilities, heightened senses, faster reflexes and your kakuja aren't something he can copy. You're ultimately losing to him as your techniques are sloppy but Madara recognizes the raw potential you have. All he has to do is polish your skills and train you. So he votes to keep you and teach you and the eldest agree, the majority delighted with the thought of having someone like you as their own. The clan guarantees to feed you with the corpses of their opponents. Training with Madara is harsh as he is even more ruthless since you heal so fast.

🌑 Madara is at one point the person you spend the most time with as he teaches you ninjutsu, taijutsu, even some genjutsu and weaponry. His training is brutal but it shows major improvement with time as you're able to fight him on almost equal footing at one point. It gains you some rare compliments from him but that is how you know that he's genuine. Fighting you is a genuine joy because only few people can give him a good fight and he's proud that his training has brought you that far. However, Madara ensures that you never grow stronger than him as he needs to establish his dominance between you two. He won't let you be above him. Initially he assumes it's because he just hates to lose but as time passes on, he realizes why. He's gained feelings from you. It's that knowledge that spikes his possessive obsession up as he suddenly forbids you to interact greatly with others and you notice the heavy weight of his glare even before you see him if he catches you still being nice to someone else.

🌑The death of Izuna awakens a feeling of urgency inside of him as the loss of his last family member shatters him.  His declaration to the eldest of the clan that he chooses you as his spouse is so sudden that it flabbergasts all of them equally and their opinions are mixed. Some disagree with him as they want him to marry someone from their clan yet others don't think it's that bad after thinking about it. You're certainly strong with your unique abilities and if you can conceive children, they'd be very curious to see what abilities your and Madara's children would have. If Madara wants something, he makes sure to get it so he forces the council to accept his opinion and you find out within the next day from him what has happened. You're even more astonished by his boldness to make such a decision without your consent. Yet your protest dies down on your tongue as he grabs your chin harshly and looks at you, muttering under his breath that he won't lose anyone else. If Hashirama wants to make peace with his clan, then only if he can keep you.

Hashirama Senju

🌳 He most likely sees you two as secret childhood sweethearts but unfortunately he just glorifies your memories in his mind into something much more innocent. The meeting of you two is one of pure accident as you essentially save his life, at a time before he even knows Madara. Mourning over the loss of one of his younger brothers and taking a stroll during a ferocious storm, numb to the warning words of Tobirama. He takes notice of the roaring river and the slippery and muddy shore too late as he slides into the clashing waves, loses his sense of up and down and swallows a gallon of the cold water. He's panicking as he desperately tries to puddle to the shore but fails to do so, his short life flashing in front of his eyes. Until someone suddenly grabs him and pulls him back on solid ground. Hashirama feels dizzy, coughs up water yet doesn't forget his manners as he wants to sincerely thank his savior. Yet they disappear as fast as they appeared, a blurry face and striking eyes the only memory he has of them.

🌳 It could be an Uchiha that saved him and he assumes so at first too and it isn't until he catches sight of you again that he's informed. You were apparently silently following him before he sees you, although initially he is unsure if you're the one that saved him. He has caused a lot of troubles because he kept confusing others with the person who saved him. You're honest though and tell him that you are the one who rescued him and are very flustered when he kneels down in front of you, forehead smushed against the dirt and thanking you for saving him. When he asks you if you're an Uchiha, you shake your head with a half-amused smile, stating that you don't belong to any special clan. He keeps on asking you questions but you keep dodging them, unwilling to answer. Eventually you tell him that you have to leave even if he begs you not to. The last thing you hear from him is him shouting after you and asking you to meet him here again. He wants to be friends with you.

🌳 You decide to take his offer, even though you know you shouldn't but you can't help yourself. Hashirama is infectious with his energy and cures your loneliness. He's bubbly and optimistic, something you need in your life. You never tell him about your true origins and never answer his questions about what he saw on the day you met him. You do tell him at one point that you're an orphan though and lost your parents to the war to which he offers you to take you to his clan. You decline obviously. The telltale signs of his major crush on you are what ultimately drive you away from him as you know that you could never be together with someone like him. So you never return again, breaking his heart as you need to separate yourself from him. It's alright. You've heard that he has found a new friend. You shatter Hashi's heart beyond belief as you've become his one big love and he's never able to comprehend throughout all the following years why you would just abandon him.

🌳 It's only so many years later in his adulthood that he gets all the answers to his questions when fellow men of his clan present him with the man-eating monster. A rumor that has been circulating around for a long time but now they've finally caught and imprisoned the person that stole and dishonored their fallen warriors. He doesn't know what to feel but his whole world stops and his heart drops when he sees the same eyes that saved him all those years ago. Your previously growling and sneering expression drops as you stare at him in shock before you avert your gaze, tears of shame building up behind your eyelashes. You never wanted him to know. You're used to being hated and feared so his shouts to free you from your chains as he storms over to you confuse not only you. Tears are in his own eyes, ones of happiness, as he embraces you in a tight hug. Finally he can make sense of everything. You were ashamed of yourself, weren't you? He knows that you'd never hurt someone purposely after all! Don't worry, he'll sort everything out for you!

Tobirama Senju

🌊 With Konoha finally being established, the many years of waging war against the Uchiha has finally ceased. Tobirama isn't too fond of the idea of living together in peace with the Uchiha, he doesn't trust them but he has no choice but to have faith in his brother. Konohagakure earns money from the missions that the people send to the village. Tobirama oversees all of that together with his brother and takes on the more dangerous jobs together with a team he hand-picked himself, all people he trusts and knows are skilled enough. It's this one mission that manages to spike his interest as he receives a request from a smaller village in the Land of Fire. A lot of thieves and criminals reside in the village yet that isn't the reason why they request his help. It's because people have started disappearing in the village and a few witnesses are only able to tell about a human-like monster with red and black orbs, mouth covered in blood as it's strongly assumed that this thing eats humans.

🌊 The legend of the man-eating ghoul is one that he has heard only in legends as some of his own clan members insist that they've spotted the thing during times of war, dragging away corpses to feast on them. At that time he only assmued it to be a silly rumor yet as the story pops up again and the legend starts surging up again as fellow Senju members hear about it, he decides to investigate. He travels to the village, takes one Senju with him who claims to have seen the ghoul before and waits. To your misfortune Tobirama is a legendary sensory type and even if you try to be careful, you're helpless as the man approaches you and you quickly stop fighting, realizing that you wouldn't stand a chance against Tobirama, his chakra too powerful. His own red orbs meet your own black and red ones, his eyebrows furrowing as he senses the unique energy radiating off of you. You may look like a human but you aren't fooling his sensory skills. Ultimately he decides to imprison you for the time being.

🌊 You're surprisingly well behaved, he somehow expected more troubles from the rumored ghoul yet you seem to choose the wisest option of giving up for now. You won't pick a fight where even you might get into troubles. Tobirama ensures that the citizens are left in the dark, only a selected few Senju and Uchiha know about you. It's better to keep your presence hidden for now from the public. Hashirama approaches you with a mix of curiosity, fascination yet also slight caution whilst Tobirama is prepared to attack you any moment, far more stiff than his brother. You're interrogated by Tobirama and answer all of his questions with honesty that baffles him. You need to consume human flesh just like humans need to eat too or otherwise you'll starve to death. When he tries to frame you for murder, you instantly fire back that you've only eaten already dead or evil people and that he shouldn't throw such crimes at you as his entire clan has committed murder too, far more than you have.

🌊 Somehow they have to feed you as Senju and Uchiha murmur that you might be very useful to the village so they start searching for ways to feed you without having to sacrifice humans, except the criminals that is. Tobirama remains the most cautious although your physical abilities fascinate him and he volunteers to teach you when he hears that his clan wants you to learn ninjutsu. He's low-key impressed by you but rarely admits that. You're snarky yet also very quick to adapt to situations and more civilized than some people he knows. The fact that you eat people is the only thing that keeps him from being more welcoming and is the main reason why he bristles up against his growing feelings. It's petty, he's murdered too but he would never allow himself to feel that way. Hours of research are put into creating artificial food for you whilst he increases the supervision around you. He absolutely can't have you lose control and attack someone. not if it means that you might be killed or ripped away from him. He won't admit his feelings for now but he won't let you get away from him either.

Tsunade Senju

🐌 Tsunade first stumbles upon you during her travels with Shizune, before she becomes the Fifth Hokage. She finds you heavily wounded and severely starved. She takes you in to care for you although her fear of blood paralyzes her so Shizune has to take care of you. You seem terrified when the two approach you, yell at them to stay away from you but it's already too late. You smell human flesh and lose control, attack both of them as your eyes turn black and red and salvia starts dripping down your chin. You're luckily overpowered as the hunger has weakened you and restricted your clear thinking, Shizune's poison numbs you and Tsunade's strength makes you lose your consciousness and you feel the relief flodding your veins that they stopped you from killing another person. What surprises you is when you regain your consciousness and find out that both of them have still taken you in and helped you with your injuries. Tsunade isn't all soft-hearted though, asking you with a hardened gaze what you are.

🐌 They're medics, they save lives so both are shaken when you confess that you're a ghoul and have to feed from humans to survive. You're too ashamed to do so, unable to kill someone so you always end up starving yourself to insanity until you can't take it anymore. You've killed too much people, nearly killed the two women too yet they still took you in and took care of you. It's all too shameful as disgust fills you and tears start shimmering in your eyes. You remind both of them that you have to leave as soon as possible or else you might hurt them again. Behind closed doors Tsunade and Shizune both have a discussion later on as both are unsure what to do. Tsunade seems a bit more merciless at first but Shizune quickly persuades her that they should help you. You can't do anything since you were born that way and helping you would also mean saving other people's lives and also your own. When both of them offer to help you, you have limited hopes.

🐌 They start working on supplying you with artificial food or at least have you survive on only little blood which both could supply to you with ease. You avoid both as good as you can to not fall into temptation and attack both of them again although you have no doubt that in your current condition, both could overpower you easily. When both of them still succeed and provide you with artificially changed blood that makes you feel full with only little amount, you feel truly happy for the first time in a long while. Just like that you become the third party to tag along, forever grateful to Lady Tsunade and Shizune as you swear to protect both of them. As you travel with both of them around the country, you start getting especially close to Tsunade. You know that under that tough shell is a hurt yet also kind woman as you soon find out about her past and in return share your own painful memories with her. Both of you bond over the past that wasn't kind to both of you.

🐌 Her feelings startle Tsunade initially when she first realizes that you've become more than a close friend to her. Not because of what you are, she'll defend you against anyone who dares to call you a monster. She's mainly scared because she's still suffering from the death of her brother and previous lover, doesn't want to lose anyone again. So the lady finds herself growing very overbearing, paranoid and worried about you excessively all of a sudden. What if people want to kill you for being a ghoul despite there being humans who are far more of a monster than you are? One of the main reasons why she rejects Jiraiya's offer at first is because she doesn't want to trust Konohagakure with you. She has heard stories about how Naruto was treated, she won't let you suffer from such hatred ever again. Ultimately it's only because of Naruto's promise to ensure your safety and your own encouragement to become the next Hokage that she agrees. If anyone even thinks about imprisoning you or performing a surgery on you to find out more about your body, she won't hesitate to seriously hurt them though.

Obito Uchiha

🔥 Rumors about man-eating monsters such as ghouls have always circled around the country, even during his childhood. In the past he had an odd fascination with such stories, as a traumatized adult Obito has other things to consider than some silly bedstories to warn children to not go alone outside at night. Or are those just some ghost stories? Perhaps he has to rethink his take on ghouls when he's faced with one of them in person. One of the spies working for the Akatsuki has been suspected to betray them so he was planning to kill them. Only to see them already being dead with you devouring their flesh. When you notice him, both of you just stare at each other for a while. You quickly clean your face painted in blood and give him an eerie smile, asking him what he plans to do now as you activate your kagune, ready to attack if he tries anything. Instead Obito is very calm as he has seen worse people than a ghoul. That being said, having one under him might be very useful later on.

🔥 You don't seem to be against the idea when he proposes it to you, merely ask what you would get by joining his organization, besides free food that is as he fully allows you to devour anyone who would be on their target list. Ultimately you ask him for time to consider his offer as your current life style is very satisfying already. He reluctantly allows you to consider his offer when you volunteer to stick around the region to reassure him that you won't try to escape. Honestly speaking, you enjoy spending time around people since it's rare to meet one who isn't scared if you. To top it, you appreciate beauty when you see it and Obito's scars give him a unique and rough beauty so you often just stare at him when he tries to convince you to join his crew. You try to tease him and have him breaking out of his serious and pessimistic character and when you do manage to fluster him, you break out in an amused grin, one that makes Obito's heart somehow flutter inside his chest.

🔥 You're very unique but also very different than he first thought you to be. Sure, you're a tad bit cocky about your abilities but also very chipper, witty and teasing around him as both of you warm up around each other more and more. When he tells you one time that you are very different from your first encounter with him, you reply with a bitter-sweet smile on your face that it isn't often that you meet a human who doesn't want to chase you out or scream in terror when seeing your true self and that you want to enjoy this as much as possible. You just do what you have to do to survive after all. Those words stick with him, haunt him as he starts worrying what has happened in your past and he attempts soon to question you persistently about it and whenever you refuse, his anxiety triples. What has happened to you? As his feelings start to grow, you soon realize that you might have made a mistake by hanging around him as he grows co-dependent.

🔥 So when you try to escape him, you make the biggest mistake of your life as he uses his Sharingan to trap you inside a genjutsu and abducts you. When you come back to your senses, he's already hovering over you, the proximity between you two frightening you a bit. His emotions are spilling over as he asks you in a raised yet shaky voice why you tried to leave him and betray his trust. You can't give him an answer, his outburst of anger, sadness and confusion overwhelming you. You don't need to answer though as your silence is enough for Obito to come up with his own answer to his own question. You're just worried about his safety, worried because you never received love from another human. He's right, isn't he? Darling, you don't have to be afraid or worried. He'll provide you with as many bodies as you need so you never have to starve and he will provide you with his love. Both of you were lonely throughout your life but now you have each other. You don't need anyone besides him anymore.

Shisui Uchiha

🍂 You despise humans. You've always despised humans for they killed your parents brutally and had no qualms to even harm you who was just a little child back then. You hate how pretentious they are, framing you as a cruel monster and a menace to their safety whilst they are the ones committing genocides, starting useless wars and murder more people than your entire family has ever done. They're the true monsters but of course they would never see it that way, instead thinking they are the only ones deciding the truth. You've spent years living alone, traveling from one place to another whilst hunting down people for food. A grim determination to survive for your parents the fire that fuels you til this day, even when a few Anbu are searching for you to hunt you down and possibly even kill you. You don't expect anything from their kind anymore, they're all just cowards hiding behind their excuse called justice and righteousness. Days of playing a nerve-wracking cat and mouse game finally ends when one particular member of the team catches you.

🍂 Any potential mask is hidden behind a mask of hatred and aggression as you stare at the man, his own face hidden behind a mask. You expect him to draw his katana, to use another katon on you to get rid of you yet he just observes you carefully. Another member of the Anbu eventually breaks the heavy silence, asks him why he isn't going for the kill. You aren't the only one shocked when the man, most likely the leader of the group, turns around and announces that he'll take you with him to the village. You're about to hiss at him that you won't let yourself get imprisoned when he reveals his face to you, young and handsome with red eyes staring straight into your own. Your brain turns foggy and you don't remember much after that. You only know that when you open your eyes the next time, you're in a cell with heavy chains restricting your movement. On the other side of the cell you recognize the same guy that knocked you somehow out together with an older man, his hat giving him away as the Hokage.

🍂 You refuse to be grateful to the man named Shisui for deciding to not kill you as you didn't strike him as an open threat. The clients were exaggerating things, he knew they were just terrified of the rumors that had clearly gone out of hand. He doesn't hold your angry behavior against you though as he knows already about the death of your parents, he can't blame you for having zero trust in anyone as you had to learn everything the hard way. Luckily Hiruzen thinks the same way as him and has decided to not kill you, against the will of some eldest of the council. Instead Shisui is in charge of keeping an eye on you and if you should harm anyone, he has orders to kill you. He doesn't want that so he always warns you, admits that he doesn't want to kill you since you aren't a bad person. You can only scoff, not believing a single word he says. He's just a human, you know how they are. He just wants to deceive you. You're bitter and negative, above all deeply hurt though and Shisui sees all of that. It somehow makes him want to prove to you that not all people are bad.

🍂 A small promise to himself to make you believe in some humans again. Shisui starts carefully and slowly to win your trust, being a pushover would be the worst thing he could be right now. A small quip here and there, convincing the council to give you some books or anything to not die of boredom inside your cell and slowly granting you with his help a little bit of restricted freedom. All those small seeds stretched over a couple of months slowly wear your guard down as you start listening to what he tells you and seem to look forward to his visits. You even join him in his jokes although you have a very dark and dry humor. Shisui's own feelings start changing slowly yet he hides it as he knows that he could be replaced as he might act on his emotions. The dark glare he gives someone if they suggest murdering you are instances where his true feelings reveal themselves though. A small part of him foolishly believes that he can somehow get this under control again. But the moment he actually manages to make you smile, a smile that lights up even the darkest corner of his heart, Shisui knows that he is utterly fucked.

Itachi Uchiha

🍡 You've always known that you might get killed for having to feed from humans in order to live. A thought that terrified you in your childhood has now become a calm acception with which you live everyday. You think there are worse people to get killed by when you see him for the first time. Calmly standing there and observing you from a distance where you were eating moments ago from the human. There's a silence lingering over the two of you as you just observe each other yet it's weirdly peaceful. When he turnd around though, no hint given about wanting to kill you, you call after him and ask him why he hasn't killed you. He pauses, head turning slightly back as he replies that you just do what you have to do to survive. He's heard about the stories of a ghoul residing in this area but he also knows about the fact that a lot of criminals have recently been disappearing from around here, people who have murdered people. The one you're feasting on right now is one of them.

🍡 The one you later on find out is named Itachi fascinates you. You've rarely met someone so serene and calm, he didn't freak out when seeing you nor looked at you with any hatred. Deep down you wonder if you'll ever see him again and fate seems to plan exactly that as you see him often around the forest where he seems to stay for a while. He doesn't mind your business and out of respect you don't mind his either although you long to talk to him once more. Strangely enough one day where rain falls down in heavy drops from the sky, your wish gets granted when you see him just standing outside, thoughtful eyes staring into the grey sky. You're captivated by the scene in front of you for a while only to come back to your senses when black eyes meet yours and he asks you politely if you'd like to join him instead of just standing there. Slight embarrassment to get caught staring is quickly replaced with slight giddiness when you two start taking a walk through the forest together, conversing here and there about things that come to mind.

🍡 From that day on, both of you start growing very close to each other. Neither of you two is very pushy and sometimes both of you just spend your time together in silence but it seems to be something both of you don't mind. In fact there's a weird comfort in the tranquil silence surrounding you two. Slowly both of you share stories about yourselves to the other one and neither you nor Itachi judge each other for their past. You tell him how you were orphaned at a very young age and had to kill people yourself and Itachi reveals his position in the Akatsuki and after a longer time of knowing each other, even the truth about his family and how he killed all of them except his brother. It's then that you understand why he didn't kill you the first time you two met. He deemed himself not worthy to judge you for your actions when he committed something much more hideous and worse. He becomes an emotional pillar for you just as much as you become one for him. You rely on each other.

🍡 Feelings start to blossom between you two, you just know that Itachi feels the same as you. You're hesitating though, unsure if a human and a ghoul should be together, especially considering Itachi's position. Although you have a hard time believing that Itachi is a criminal and killer. That all gets shattered the day you get caught by a gang of criminals and they manage to overpower you. You're beaten up and yelled at, typical words such as monster and death threats thrown your way but you're oddly calm. As one of them walks to you, an axe in his hand as he's about to behead you, you feel a twinge of regret though as Itachi crosses your mind. You close your eyes, wait for the embrace of death yet nothing happens. In fact everything happens so fast that you barely have time to process everything before everyone around you is almost or already dead and Itachi frees you from the ropes. You feel the slight tremors of fear and rage still going through his body before accusatory eyes glare at you, asking you silently why you would accept death just like that. You want to answer but when he presses his forehead against yours, Sharingan locked with your eyes, everything fades away.

Sasuke Uchiha

💙 Imagine Sasuke's surprise when he joins Orochimaru with the full conviction that the former Sanin wants him as his new body only to find out that he's one from two candidates to be bestowed with such an honor. There's someone else Orochimaru thinks would be a splendid new body for him and that someone is you. It isn't like Sasuke desperately wants to be the new vessel for the man, he has one goal and that is killing his older brother, no matter what. It's the notion that Orochimaru considers something equally powerful as his Sharingan that insults him and turns his attention fiercely to you, the one supposedly with even better skills. You're a year older than him and have been with Orochimaru for years now with him honing your abilities and skills to near perfection. You have a few screws loose yourself and fit in perfectly as you're everything but sane. You're introduced to Sasuke although you've already been informed about him and show only mild interest. Are you infuriating Sasuke on purpose?

💙 The Uchiha boy soon wants to fight with you, triggered with you brushing so easily over him. You aren't in the mood to do so yet Sasuke leaves you no choice, you realize that he'll attack you so or so. As the older person and the one more experienced with Orochimaru, you think that you should show the young boy his place. That fight serves as motivation for Sasuke forever after, a memory he will never be able to rid himself off. He doesn't know what he expects of you yet what you show him sets the base for his obsession later on. A ghoul is something he's only heard of from in horror stories and legends yet when your frightening eyes stare down on him, your wounds regenerating whilst his aren't, he realizes that in every legend is a sprinkle of truth. You leave him beaten in his room, telling him that he should respect you since he's the younger one, especially if he can't back up all his threats. For now he's nothing but a hateful boy who tries to hide his weakness behind aggressive words in your eyes. A humiliation that imprints itself deep inside his bones and heart.

💙 It's the start of Sasuke's obsessive fascination with you. As humiliated and angry as he is, he understands why Orochimaru would consider you as a potentially new vessel. You have abilities that no one could ever hope to learn or copy, your kagune and your regeneration only a few of them. Your diet doesn't bother him in the least and you don't feel ashamed for it either. After that day, Sasuke seems to follow you around like a little duckling, burning with zealousy to fight you again. Yet you refuse every time, make it clear that you'll only fight him if you deem him as worthy because as of now he clearly isn't in your eyes. Your skills are above him in almost everything as of now but you do watch him training whilst doing your own exercises with Sasuke keeping a close eye on you, analyzing him. With you in the same room as him though, he trains nonstop as he often hallucinates you watching him too. You might or you might not, you're a bit difficult for Sasuke to figure out.

💙 In a strange and twisted way he starts looking up to you so his heart is doing sommersaults when you finally signal him that you're willing to fight him again. The end result is a draw, both of you at the end of the fight on the ground with your curse marks activated. It's an improvement yet Sasuke is not satisfied. When you end up praising him for his performance, he feels strangely enough mildly better. From that day on, both of you train together as he trains you more in the arts of ninjutsu and genjutsu. Thanks to you being a ghoul, your taijutsu is already very good so you train him in that. You grow very close, only that you see Sasuke as your adorable albeit deranged junior whilst Sasuke sees you as an equal, as someone he wants to keep by his side. He's possessive and constantly tries to dominate you in order to change your view on him yet you brush it all off with an irritating yet delightful laugh. He won't lose you to Orochimaru though, he won't let you be that man's new vessel. Nor will he become his new body. After all he has to guarantee that you will never have anyone except him by your side.

[just-prime]

I'm not sure if you've been watching The Acolyte, but my critically high levels of sodium over the Ahsoka series have returned with the revelation that Rosario must have fought Lucasfilm over fight/lightsaber training stipulating in her contract.

Manny Jacinto, who came to the role with a black belt in Tae Kwon Do trained for four months for his fight scenes before filming. Rosario repeatedly said in interviews that she trained for two hours a day while filming, and it was clear that she thought this was a lot.

I tried to write it off last year. Budget and time constraints, George Lucas overspent and Disney is doing things differently, the prequel era is dead-

No.

No, this is not the case.

Prequel era love and care in the arena of bringing characters who are expert sword wielders and martial artists to life is alive and well at Lucasfilm.

Daphne Keen fights like Ahsoka plucked from the middle of the Clone Wars and brought to life. Dean Charles Chapman's saberwork is a beautiful hybrid of Obi-wan and Anakin with lightning fast, graceful Soresu and saber spins, lightsabers are deadly once more and used in ways we haven't seen outside of animation and video games, and characters far, far older than 11 ABY Ahsoka have kinetic, energetic choreography because a 42 year old Jedi is nowhere near over the hill, and I'm done with being gaslit about her age.

There are many issues with this show, yes, but there are no cameos (save for one blink and you miss it), no name dropping to make the audience tear up and feel something based on the hard work of previous content. Nuggets are plucked from the EU and made fresh, like the delightful and creative use of cortosis. New force worshipping sects with their own beliefs are brought to life without being the Nightsisters. The galaxy feels large again.

It's everything Ahsoka wasn't and shows just how soulless an effort that show was. Ironically this is the show that's getting raked over the coals while nearly all criticism of Ahsoka was met with dismissal despite the show being desperately mediocre.

If you had asked me to go in without behind the scenes knowledge and tell you if Filoni or Headland was the one new to Star Wars and who was approaching this effort with genuine love of the material and passion for world building and adventure, it wouldn't be the guy who was recently made Creative Director.

I'm sorry for once again paragliding into your inbox (yes, this is the salty anon from last summer lol), especially if you aren't interested in The Acolyte, but it just sheds so much light on everything wrong with Ahsoka and how valid our criticisms were. Salt doesn't have an expiration date, so I hope this is a little bit of vindication!

Hello, hello! Hang up your paraglider, you're always welcome in my ask box.

I have been watching the Acolyte! I'll admit, I saved off answering this until the final ep had come out so that if there were any more cool fight scenes, they were not missed in my response.

Thoughts I had Pre Finale

All in all I agree completely.

While flawed (personally I feel like the acting on Osha and Mea is the weakest part of the show as a whole, as well as the fact that this very much felt like a movie idea stretched into a tv show) the Acolyte has been legions better than the previous slop that Disney Star Wars has put out recently. You know why? Because I had fucking fun watching it. Sure, afterwards I'd usually say something along the lines of 'wow the pacing is a bit weird' but all in all? Actively enjoyable. It never made me angrily close the D+ tab mid episode.

It's also been a facinating litmus test for what people are able to be chill about Star Wars and which ones are not able to handle it. The amount of reviewers and reactors whom I previously had massive respect for who just are acting like utter tools is really getting on my nerves.

Because in sooooo many ways this has been exactly what people have been asking for. A new perspective, with new ideas that isn't just focused on the Skywalker saga. And on top of that, holy fuck the fights are glorious. You are absolutely right, both Dafne Keen's and Tommon's fights prove just how well you can have lightsaber skills look from a single person, as well as the Wookie fight showing off some truly impressive choreo between the three.

And then you have Manny Jacinto...hello ARMS

The man is by far the standout joy of the series (followed closely by Sol) as the man just oozes charisma. His big fight against everyone was brutal and I'm glad to see that lightsabers are once again deadly in the Star Wars universe. Watching him mow through a legion of Jedi was so incredibly satisfying to watch, and again he is just knocking it out of the park with the choreo. LOVE the way that they've introduced cortosis into live action, especially in a fighting style. Headbutting a lightsaber was fucking amazing to witness. Though it's actually not the first time that it's appeared in Canon star wars, as it appears in the second canon Thrawn book, Thrawn : Alliances!

The exploration of the Dark Side is being done in such an interesting way, because none of the practitioners we've seen would self identify as 'dark side users' at all. Because sure, you have Manny Jacinto who is out being evil because the Jedi were going to label him as dark side either way so he might as well defend himself, for him it's just the way he connects with the Force. But you also have the witches, who's mind infiltration is certainly Dark Side, but are just out here living their best witchy lives. They live by their Thread, regardless of what the Jedi would call it.

As always, also the "the jedi need to be the coolest and the morally purest people in the whole wide world" people are having hissy fits, which is just like...no? Stop being allergic to nuance? We've seen time and time again how the Jedi were in fact a child taking cult (yes, yes they are, if you disagree i'd recommend going and rewatching TPM which spells it out pretty clearly) usually we've just been on the Jedi's POV so it seems justified. The Sol flashback episode I think shows off this mentality very well. He had good intentions, sure, but all in all, he wants to take and even Trinity calls him on it. It's a fascinating examination of what decades later would lead Anakin down a path of desperation.

Speaking of Anakin...People getting suuuuuper protective over Anakin's super special status as 'the chosen one' was also rather surreal to witness. Personally, I don't see how this invalidates his 'the chosen one' in the first place? But people were definitely scraping the bottom of the barrel for things to complain about, as opposed to offering actually constructive criticism, of which there are plenty of options.

Thoughts I had Post Finale

All in all, nothing really changed for me, as usual, the pacing was absolutely fucked and the action was absolutely incredible, and in the end, I enjoyed the experience of watching it.

I certainly appreciate seeing more of the Jedi actively covering shit up, both in little ways as well in big ways.

Also *waves* Hi Plagueis!

My main little gripe

I really don't get why they needed to actively tie Mr. Darth Hotpants over here to Venesta specifically? I get the want to connect him to an established character, it just rang a little hollow for me. I think I'd have preferred it if he was just a rando youngling who never even got to being a Padawan cuz the Jedi kept trying to basically de-dark side him ala grade schools punishing for being left handed. Donno, I just think that would have been a bit more compelling.

My main BIG gripe

Why...THE FUCK...did they split up??? They burned waaaay more time having their little heart to heart then had it been all three of them fucking booking it to the ship. I just don't get it. I don't get why Mae or Osha would want to leave each other again, and I don't get why Manny Jacinto would willingly give up an additional fighter. I get the whole "There can only be two" bit, but A) Plagueis is already there on the island, so Osha makes it three and B) Osha's probably going to be more motivated with a little living reminder of the Jedi's lies being right there and present and C) Osha and Mae are both so fucking powerful why would anyone just let one half of the pair walk away????

It just didn't fit with any of the character's previous actions so it annoys me.

Kinda ended as I began, relatively neutral on it all. Think if pressed would give it a 7/10 just because the action was SO FUCKING GOOD, otherwise it would probably be lower due to the rather painful pacing issues and the meh acting on display from Amandla Stenberg which was just such a huge shame cuz I know she's got more range than this.

Mainly, I just really really hope future shows take from this just how good lightsaber combat can be when you have properly trained performers. THIS should be the standards, and it's painful that its not.

As always thank you for dropping into my ask box! You always give me so much to work with it's a joy to respond :D

[lostamongthestarz]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING TRANS MASC READER X KANO FICS

my autistic hyperfixation with this man is driving me feral also gay kano is very underrated (his one intro scene with Johnny from mk 11 has a death grip on my brain)

If you want to could you maybe write a black dragon pit fighter trans reader X Kano fic where reader fights in the club and maybe earns Kano's respect and attention that way (I'm a scrappy punk trans man who loves combat and blood sports)

I LOVE WRITING FOR KANO, you're so real for being feral for him. I'm more than happy to write this for you!

going to format these as a mix of head canons and writing

Kano x trans!male reader

divider credits: @/cafekitsune

warnings: blood/violence - normal MK11 stuff, Kano himself but nothing too bad.

❗❗FEM READERS, SHE/HER + SHE/THEY - DO NOT INTERACT, DO NOT FETISHIZE MY WRITING, I WRITE THESE HEADCANONS FOR MY FELLOW TRANS MEN/ENBY FREINDS❗❗

You had lost track of how long you had been fighting in the pits - having only recently joined in the black dragon's fighting pits. You had come for the thrill of it all, while most didn't care for the large amount of gore, it didn't bother you. The money was a nice plus - People would bet on how well your fights went and you got a hefty sum of the money - it's only because Kano allowed it ————————————————————————————————

Kano said he didn't have favorite fighters - as long as they fought well and didn't get their ass handed to them, but you? you were one of his favorites - one of his only favorites

⤹after your first couple of fights you catch Kano's eye, He had watched the next couples of fights - his eyes never left your form. ⤹the sound of cheering ⤹the Sicking sound of bones crunching and your fist connecting to some poor man's face.

⤹the look of pure delight on your face?

⤹Something about it made Kano respect the way you carried yourself. You didn't flinch even facing off some of the biggest guys in the fight pits. You had earned his respect and you two haven't spoken to each other yet. that would change - Kano would make sure about it. ————————————————————————————————

The first time you and Kano spoke - he could tell he would like to have you around. You had a certain spunk to yourself that Kano enjoyed. He gave you attention all the time - Kano didn't hide the fact he liked you more than others.

during and after each one of your matches he would always be there - always. Whether it was too come get you and bring you back to his own "office" area to clean you up. Or he'd be there watching you kick the shit out of some guy

You being trans does not bother Kano at all, he admires your strength even more - although he won't pry into that if you don't want to talk about it. He won't tolerate shitty comments towards you, He doesn't give the person a warning before he breaks their face.

He likes the bloodied look on you, more when it's someone else's blood. although he won't say anything out loud. he pays more attention to you when you're covered in blood.

⤹Kano likes to deny he has favorites, but when it comes to you everyone notices the way he tends to keep you closer in between fights

⤹No one comments on it although - they act like they don't see it for their own wellbeing.

I HOPE THESE ARE GOOD ENOUGH !! I've been in a funk lately with writing Requests open ! 💌 My inbox is open <3

[shivstar]

(same "Peter anon" xD)

I was reading an unrelated HP meta and stumbled upon this quote and immediately thought of you, since I really loved our conversation about Peter.

Another point in favor of Sirius possibly being closer to Peter than Remus, pre-Halloween:

To Sirius’s right stood Pettigrew, more than a head shorter, plump and watery-eyed, flushed with pleasure at his inclusion in this coolest of gangs, with the much-admired rebels that James and Sirius had been. On James’s left was Lupin, even then a little shabby-looking, but he had the same air of delighted surprise at finding himself liked and included...

Sirius was beside James, of course. Which means that Sirius and Remus were the furthest... which is interesting.

Thank you for letting me use your inbox! I appreciate it :)

Hey there, Anon.

Peter is a my third favorite Marauder, I enjoy discussing about him. So thanks for the message.

This scene depicts many things-:

1.) Sirius and James are standing in the middle. This symbolises that they are the two main guys with Remus and Peter in supporting role.

2.) Sirius and James are equal. James is not the top dog of marauders because Sirius and James seek validation from each other. Like how in swm James listened to Sirius.

3.) Remus and Peter both admired James and Sirius. Not just Peter.

4.) Peter was flushed in delight in his inclusion. Meaning he was happy and thankful. Meanwhile Remus had a delighted air of surprise. Remus, after all these years and group efforts, still felt SURPRISED that he is included and liked.

5.) Remus and Sirius had James in between them. It can be just a coincidence as to the sequence in the photo.

But I still get the feeling that for Remus, Sirius was that arrogant asshole who seems like he is floating through life without much efforts. While Remus sees his own situation as a tangible struggle.

I think Remus could never understand Sirius's issue. Because among the people close to him, he was always liked. His parents loved him. Dumbledore was kind enough to offer him education, his friends cared for him. All these people knew his true self and still choose to keep him in their life.

Meanwhile Sirius running away at 16 implies that he didn't felt like he belonged in his own family. Hence the run away. (I hc no physical abuse at the hands of black family). Only has 1 bff and 2other friends. Other than that no adult to look over him and provide guidance. That is pretty lonely existence. James is great and all but they are of same age.

I think Peter to some extent got this. The feeling of not getting accepted by adults in your life because they think you are not good enough. Of a child's worth being judged on how he presents himself, what friends you make, how he performs in course work etc.

For Remus, he had the fear that society at large won't accept him. His monthly's were kept a secret. So he has this one burden to hide. But people close to him never made him feel bad about his condition.

But for Peter and Sirius, they had the ache of not getting accepted in their own family. (I hc Peter's parents as the kind who are pretty involved but suffocating parents. Not bad per se. But burdening in emotional sense. )

So to know that you have to be a certain someone to be loved by people who should be wired to unconditionally love you. That is something a human carries throughout their life.

Remus as a loved kid would never understand that. James too but I think that what made James this special was that he made you feel validated and seen. He gave a person's pain and struggle a certification of sort. Like allowing them to feel it in his presence. All three of them. Even Lily must have felt good at finding a pureblood guy who respected her muggle heritage and allowed her that space to be her.

Remus on the other hand has such a big obstacles in his life. Such QUANTIFIABLE problem that for him Peter and Sirius's struggle may be intangible things which he doesn't get.

So for Sirius to get that sort of comrade with Peter where they both KNEW the other's struggle without explanation and pity.

That must have been a thing to bond over.

I really feel that Remus and Sirius were the most distant friends in the group. Both pre canon and post canion. They may have made it seem to harry that everything is well and good but the events they went through is something no one can come back from. The distrust and resulting pain, it stays in the back burner of one's mind.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Tumblr Fandom: A Year in Review 2023

Tagged by @mistmarauder and I'm pretty sure I'm contractually obligated to do as she says so...

Top Five Blorbos: Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley, Patrick Jane, Edgin Darvis, Xenk Yendar

Top Five Fandoms: 9-1-1, Fast & Furious, Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, The Mentalist, The Witcher

Top Five OTPs: Buddie, Xedgin, whatever the hell Dom/Brian is called (there is so little fanfic for them I am weeping), Jisbon, House/Shenanigans uh I mean House/Wilson/Cuddy

Shoutout to Some New Friends: @princessfbi and @tulipfromtheinternet have been very kind to me, leaving treats out on their porches for me to sniff. I even let them pet me after a few months of slowly earning my trust!

Shoutout to Some Old Friends: @mistmarauder and @catdadeddie are two friends I grew closer with this year, and have done a lot to restore my trust in people. They've put up with an unfair amount of prickliness and distrust on my part with grace and love. @evcndiaz has also put up with me dropping into her inbox with fun (horrifying) facts about human anatomy, which earns her a gold medal. And of course @givemeunicorns @devilsbrokerank @captainofthefallen and @extasiswings continue to be my rocks and remind me that there are good people in this world, and that some of those good people might actually love me.

Favorite Creation You Posted This Year: Genuinely I feel like with my Halloween fics I have done the best work in my fanfiction career. I'm shocked at how proud I am of the fanfics I put out this year, including my Wednesday fic and my Xedgin fics. It's impossible for me to choose a favorite.

Favorite Creation Posted by Someone Else This Year: @kittykatthetacodemon had me reading fic for fandoms and ships I'm not even in or shipping? she's just that fucking good? holy shit go watch Mag7 and then read her fics just. just do it.

People Who Brightened Your Year: @lisbonsteresa always and forever brightens my days, and it was a delight this year to be in the same fandom again as she got me hooked on The Mentalist, @mistmarauder always makes me laugh even (especially) when she's roasting me, and @extasiswings helped me get away from the real world a couple times when I needed it.

Anyone Else You'd Like to Mention: I'm so grateful to all of my readers, always. Your enthusiasm and comments are what keep me going. Thank you thank you thank you.

Five of Your Favorite Authors This Year: I'll be honest I have barely read any fanfic this year since I simply haven't had time but a quick shout out again to @kittykatthetacodemon because Mist forced me to read her fanfics at gunpoint and I've never been so happy to be at gunpoint after reading them. I've reread her Hobbs & Shaw fics literally a dozen times, she nails the hysterical over-the-top banter from the F&F films and it has me giggling every time.

Oh and @henswilsons. Forever and always making me laugh with your delightful fics. Never stop, dear.

Five of Your Favorite Artists/Gifmakers/Podficcers/Etc. This Year: @captain-hen so many times I see a gifset that makes me insane and it's by you, you menace. @like-the-rest-of-la lovely art from a lovely person. @bucksketch you make art that has me screeching and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. @mistmarauder your podfics, babe, you know how much I adore them. Um I'm terrible at remembering urls (I'm even worse with names). Uh. Um. Uhhhh. Uhhhhhhh... *we're all still waiting days later*

Three Things You're Looking Forward to in 2024: 9-1-1 SEASON SEVEN BABEEEEEEY