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#I never finish anything. I need this to me the one thing I do
juniperdugong · 2 days
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Super Weird - Vernon
WC: 867 || Genre: Fluff || CW: Suggested bullying (?)/ reader being an outcast || Vernon x GN!reader (established relationship)
A/N: For all my weirdos because I'm a weirdo and Vernon is too, ain't no denying it, just a buncha freaks in masks huh?
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"Do you think I'm weird?"
Vernon looks at you, eyes squinting in confusion and his expression shifting into a scowl seeing that you're completely serious, "Whaf dar haw ah yo tarking abo-?" (What the hell are you talking about?)
His mouth is filled with the last and biggest spoonful of food that you knew you couldn't finish so - as the routine goes - you gave it to Vernon. He furiously chews at a pace that you know probably isn't safe and with a large and rather painful-looking gulp his mouth is free of obstructions. "What did you just say?" his tone sounds more lightly confused but his face gives quiet anger more than anything.
"Hansol you heard me. Do you think I'm weird?" You speak very monotonously, a trait the two of you shared.
"Of course you're weird." He says it like it's a matter of fact. His expression completely drops into the deadpan face you're used to. He ignores how perplexed you look as he brings the dishes to the sink.
"And you're okay with that?" You ask out of genuine curiosity, you know that most people would outcast someone they think is weird - it's something you've often experienced at school and work. So if he thought you were strange then why would he stick around?
"Why wouldn't I be?" He looks up at you almost accusatorily as he scrubbed the dishes and put them to dry.
"I mean- It doesn't bother you at all that I'm abnormal or weird? I know people talk about how I sound or that I'm too... strange and stuff. It isn't lost on me but if you also know that then why do you stick around?" You let your words spill just wanting to get down to the root of the issue while escaping the heavy-handed approach of blurting out "Why would you want to be with someone you find weird?".
"Nope." That was his reply. His. Entire. Answer. Just "Nope." and then he picked his phone up from the table and went to sit in the living room. You know he saw your face as it contorted into even more confusion and bafflement but he ignored it!
You did the only sensible thing, of course, and immediately trailed him and sat right next to him, snatching his phone out of his hand as he opened up a game. You had his attention and yet he seemed confused? As if he wasn't the one who completely dodged your questioning before.
"Yes?"
"You have nothing else to say?"
He gave himself a moment to think, you thought for a millisecond that perhaps he's finally found a more appropriate answer, "Nope."
"Huh?" You shake your head completely bewildered. "You know I'm weird and you still want to be with me, why is that?"
"It's probably because I love you or something weird like that-" He turns to you as a blush sets in. Chuckling he gives a small pinch to your cheeks, fighting the cuteness aggression he feels, "Don't think about it too much though, that's a fact you should already know about by now... I would hope you know about by now..." He tilts his head as he says that last part as if questioning if you really did know about his love after all this time.
Vernon's love for you was something you never questioned, even though he wasn't exactly the best at physically expressing it he always made sure to assure you through words, actions, or gifts. It was a bit odd honestly, like he had some sort of psychic powers to know what your needs are. Maybe...
"I think you're the weird one actually-" you start thinking out loud.
"Yeah? Maybe."
"And you accept that, Han?"
"Mhm." His answers are blunt and to the point, you have to wonder if he's just saying this to satisfy your curiosity- "I'm not just saying that by the way. I know that I'm weird, babe."
"You a wizard?" He squints as he looks at you, waiting for clarification, "You read my mind like one."
"Nope, I'm just a really good boyfriend I think." He relaxes into the couch, pulling you onto his lap and retrieving his phone from your grasp.
"So we're both just weird and we both just have to accept that?"
"Looks like it, babe."
"huh..." You ponder on it for a moment as your eyes look around your shared apartment. Shelves filled with knick-knacks of yours, pillows in the shape of cartoon characters, anime on the TV currently... "Yeah, okay." You retract your worry as quick as it came, it was an absurd thought that you let yourself get caught up in any way. You wrap your arms around his neck, leaning your head against his shoulder as you watch him play his game.
"Hansol?"
"What?"
"Why am I seeing a half-naked man on your screen right now?"
"That is my current boyfriend, Sylus."
You look at him and raise an eyebrow, he meets your nebulous expression with a peck on the lips. "You are weird, Han."
"I know baby. It's honestly weirder that you heard me say all of that and that's your only reaction."
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A/N: Hahaha totally not something to sate you guys as I continue working on the Cheol angst fic... (Please help me I'm 3000 words in and still haven't gotten through half of my bullet points) Tbf I did say it was gonna be long though... First Vernon fic though! Plus comeback around the corner, yeah let's all talk about all the whiplash that's been going on in Caratland rn...
Please Reblog and Comment (They act as power-ups for me)
Taglist (OPEN): @bemybabiibish @bath1lda @porridgesblog
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starfxkrreloaded · 2 days
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⋆。°✩ being sarahs best friend who moved from the cut, and during a sleepover one day she's just poking through your stuff untl she finds this litle rinky dink camera that she knows you carry around sometimes so she's going through it while you're in the shower. and it's nothing crazy at first--the two of you together, different parties, overall fun moments.
but you scrolls back a little further, about a year or so, and all of a sudden you're somewhere unfamiliar. it's dingier, woodier, more simplistic. it's gotta be back on the cut, and you're not the one holding the camera. someone else is, it's some guy with the lens trained on the way another guy--blonde this time--is gripping your things. you're standing, barely, slurring and leaning on the blonde one for support as he gropes at you in your bikini and tiny shorts.
told you dude, s'like we got our own porn star over here' he punctuates his action with a light bounce to your breast, pulling the damp triangle to the side so the cameraman can zoom in.
cmon jj don't say that, we gotta have some dignity about this'
all 3 of you sounded drunk, and you and jj were clearly far gone--kissing hard and deep as he pinched you nipple and shoved a hand down your shorts at the same time.
the unseen voice grabs your face, turning to his direction and sarah can see a little glimpse of him when he leans in to kiss you; curly brown hair, soft lips. its enough to make you groan, and blonde greedy because you're tugged out of the way so the two can kiss. sarah feels her whole body flush hot, she's used to seeing girls for a guy, but this is something new entirely.
you always do that, john b wanted to kiss me.
there's a bit of a shuffle, and sarah can't see anything, not until he sets the camera down, and she sees you on the bed, the blonde boy behind you holding your leg up as he pushes inside your ass. even in the crappy quality sarah can see you're wet--puffy lips glistening in the low light and she swears she can see a trickle of arousal drip down your thigh.
"oh my god..."
john b hurry up, i can't wait anymore i need both.
alright sweetheart relax, tell our boy to slow it down back there.
jj slows his thrusts just enough for john b to push into your cunt, and sarah almost gasps at how thick he is, he look's like he's gonna tear you in two. but all 3 of you let out some sort exclamation, and sarah's clit throbs at the sight, but the shower's turned off now and she knows there's only so much time left.
fuckfuckfuck oh my god. you're stuck between them, forced to take the dual pounding in a cacophony of moans and grunts as you start to squirm, god i'm gonna cum.
just as your voice reaches a pitch you come out the bathroom, skin still steaming as you finish rubbing your lotion in and sarah only had a split second to sit on the camera. hoping the minuscule chaos helped cover the sound as she shut it off
"the fuck's wrong with you?" you giggle as you walk past her to your dresser, dropping the towel leaving sarah to stare, watching you bend down to pull your panties on.
she glances in the mirror, and sees how flushed she looks, "oh just, opened the hidden replies on twitter. wasn't expecting that."
you snort, throwing on an oversized shirt that says Hayward's Seafood, and turning around, "don't know why it's always some crazy shit. come lady down i wanna watch a movie."
sarah does what you say, her body finally calming from the scene she witnessed but now all she can focus on is the warm vanilla scent of your skin and a picture she never paid too much attention to above your headboard.
"so, who are those two guys you're with here?"
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zxoaii · 3 days
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Between Us
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fem! reader x (aged up) Yuji Itadori / Sukuna
Summary: When Sukuna makes a move for Yuji, they both find themselves fighting for control of the situation.
WC: 1.1k
Note: Hi everyone! I don’t usually post JJK fanfiction here but I just started a new wattpad account so I’m trying to get some traction. If you enjoy this short chapter please consider checking out my preferences/oneshots book on wattpad! Characters include all popular JJK men.
Wattpad: _Bolter
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[ Y/n ]
"Do you know what I had to do to drag this brat up here?"I couldn't looked more shocked. Sukuna. The four eye, the markings, the assurance.
He leans against my doorframe and takes me in. "You really are beautiful." I could look more shocked. "I'm sorry?" Sukuna takes two steps forward into my apartment.
"This is ok, right?" His rhetorical tone is permanent when asking for anything. Because who would be stupid enough to say no to him?
"Did you know he's been keeping me away from you?" Is he talking about Yuji? "You don't have to be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you." Right.
"I do know how to be a gentleman."
"Is that so?"
We both stare at each other for a moment. I'm sure this is when he'll kill me. "It is." Sukuna takes a seat on my couch.
He gives an annoyed sigh, shaking his head. "I'm sorry." Yuji was keeping Sukuna away from me specifically? He can't possibly mean he has... Romantic feelings for me.
Is he even capable of loving?
"Y/n, I am so sorry. I would never just let myself in like this." Yuji stands up from the couch. Did they just switch? In that moment?
"Stop being a pussy." He slaps his hand over his cheek. It's so much to take in I almost feel frozen. "You are a very beautiful woman and I'd love to take you out for dinner sometime, just maybe not tonight. I need to work some things out."
I shouldn't feel so flattered. They share a body and a mind. It's probably only natural if Yuji fell for me... Sukuna would too.
Right?
I follow Yuji to the door as he lets himself out. "I'm so sorry. Goodnight." He takes not one step out the door before locking up for a moment.
"See? He just can't do it." Sukuna lets himself back into my apartment. "I can." He shuts the door, leaving his hand next to my head. My back presses up against the door.
"Are you scared?"
There's no point in lying, the only real feeling I can distinguish right now is fear. I nod my head slightly. "That's fine." He pulls away to give me space.
My heart races in my chest. Why does this feel so exhilarating?
"What are you doing here?" My voice doesn't tremble like it did the last time I spoke. "That's a little delayed." Despite his space I haven't moved off the door.
"You can't actually be saying to me that you have... What, a crush?" I laugh at saying it aloud. "That's not possible."
"You're right. This is a need."
Oh god, my hand grips the door handle to support myself. "Are you going to run?" Sukuna leans against my counter. "No." Anyone with half a mind and a will to live would run.
"That damn brat..." I watch as the markings fade before me. Yuji has a softness in his gaze Sukuna could never fake.
"Are you ok?" He rushes to my side, grabbing my waist to help me stand. "I can stand I was just feeling a little..." What? Turned on?
"I wanted to make it romantic when I told you. I didn't want this asshole cornering you because it turns him on." I place my hand on his chest. Between the two of them I might need Sukuna to come back.
Is that cruel?
"Are you ok?" Yuji asks again. "I like you too Yuji-" "Really?" He cuts me off before I can finish my sentence. "Really? Would you want to go on a date?" Is he serious?
"Yes, but-"
Yuji cups my face and presses a kiss onto my lips. Finally. I wrap my arms around his neck to pull him closer. If anyone else suddenly started burning up while we were making out I'd be worried.
The kiss gets rougher. I don't need to open my eyes to know Sukuna is kissing me. And I like it. I must have a death wish.
I have to pull away for a moment to catch my breath. Sukuna takes the opportunity to move down to other places. My head falls away from his, giving him better access to my neck.
His hands slide down to my hips. I really need these two to figure something out. Yuji pulls away from me, brushing his hair out of his face breathlessly.
"What do you want?"
An impossible question. I like Yuji. He's the person I fell for. I shouldn't want anything to do with Sukuna but that moment... I've never been kissed like that.
"I just need a minute to catch my breath." I say as I walk into the kitchen to give myself something to do. Yuji trails behind me slowly.
"I don't want him to mess this up."
"I don't think he wants to either."
The room is silent as I fill a glass with water. I turn the faucet off and immediately start gulping everything inside down.
Yuji grabs the glass from my hand when I finish and leaves it on the counter.
He's less assertive and bold with his movements but when his hand grabs my waist it kills me to not have my body against his.
When our lips finally meet again I notice the hunger behind each movement. He's letting himself have it. Each touch is lingering. His lips are more demanding.
I make my way blindly to the couch, holding him against me the entire way there. I pull away for only a second as my heel hits fabric to lay down.
The glazed look in his eyes remains for a moment before he's switched back to Sukuna. I expect him to say something but it never comes. Instead he leans over me and picks up where we left off.
His hands are more curious. They follow the curves of my body, exploring areas Yuji wouldn't go near. Sukuna kisses me with so much power and lust. I can feel my lips are swollen already.
"Are we going to make out all night?" I whisper against his lips. "No. Just for a few more minutes." He trails some kisses down my neck then attends to my lips again.
It seems like as soon as we start he's pulling away. Instead of going any further, Sukuna fixes his hair and makes his way towards the door.
"Where are you going?"
The grin on his face is all too telling that I gave him exactly what he wanted. A confession that I want him too.
"I find it's so much better when you play the long game with these things."
I watch from the couch as he leaves my apartment. A tease? Did I just get teased by a special grade? Was I really stupid enough to give in? Am I stupid enough to desperately wait for the next time?
Maybe I am.
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akaiuchiha · 3 days
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HSR spoilers Luofu new quest
No really, spoilers, don't read if you haven't done the quest
Hum
I regret not pulling for Jiaoqiu, I'm trying very hard to not pull for Feixiao and I got Moze
But
Oh gosh
OH GOSH
THAT WAS WILD
I absolutely LOVED it
At first, I didn't want to do it right now because I wasn't feeling motivated but I kept getting spoilers about Jiaoqiu (not the end but when his arm is hurt and Moze appears)
And I was like "what the hell, why do I feel like he's going to die??"
So I did the quest and finished it some hours ago
First, really good amazing job
Second the way they managed to show the trauma Jiaoqiu went through with his voice only and some sentences was insane
Feixiao answers were so caring and gosh
I love this trio
I don't want to ship them, I need them platonic right now
I need them to hug Jiaoqiu because what the hell was that, he literally went through a living nightmare
The more I think about it, the more I realise how horrible it must have been. That man was their prisoner and was going to be eaten anytime soon
He KNEW they were going to eat him and still did his best to give his general a chance of victory
HE SWALLOWED POISON TO HELP THEM
And when I think about it, that man had his arm broken (I think?), open wounds on his chest, poison in his blood and was eaten alive
EATEN
ALIVE
I can't even dare to imagine the pure agony and anxiety it must have provoke
The feeling of being torned apart because they want to drink your blood
Even though he said he didn't regret anything, you can't convince me he is fine
No one would be fine after THAT
I can't even explain correctly how this thing is one of the most horrible thing that happened until now in my opinion
I know HSR is WAY darker than genshin in many ways because it is linked to HI3 in some way (I'm not saying genshin is kid friendly, but it's less obvious, we don't have pictures of the character being on verge of death-) but wow, when playing it I didn't really acknowledge it but now it makes me sick how twisted it was
I really want to give them a hug
Really
Also, Yanqing I never hated you to begin with and was always happy to see you but now I'm even more amazed by your talent
In the end, this story was a really good one and I appreciate that our choices DO have consequences unlike genshin
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gatitties · 3 days
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Hey! If it’s alright, may I request a sort of part two to that Dad!Sanzu x teen!daughter!reader (platonic) you did a bit ago where it delves into sanzu repairing his relationship with his daughter (or more rather how he tries to spend more time with her, like indoor activities, shopping at the mall etc.), and maybe reader working towards healing from her ed since its probably something thats going to take a long while to recover from. Oh! And maybe for decibe the relationship between reader and the rest of boten?
─Dad!Sanzu x teen!daughter!reader
─ Summary: Step by step, everything seems to be going much better, enjoying every moment you can while you slowly finish recovering just like your father.
─ Warnings: none
Part one
Wow, I didn't think it would take me so long to come back, although I don't know how to manage my time rn, I'm sorry for being gone for so long, but my life was making some changes, sorry for so many delayed request :( I promise I'll end all of them
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─ Without a doubt your life had taken a great change for the better, all the accumulated stress, bad routines and meals had almost completely disappeared, making you the healthiest version of yourself.
─ Sanzu followed you by quitting alcoholism, although it was more difficult with tobacco, he was still working on it, just like you, it was not easy to go back to eating at least three times a day, or to deprive yourself of sudden binges.
─ Both of you supported each other as a way of improving, although time with Sanzu still had its limits, you could not complain now that your lives were healthier.
─ Even his coworkers (with whom you already had a relationship, but it had become closer due to Sanzu's desperation to neglect you) saw you as a part of their lives, a niece and family.
─ Usually Kakucho and Takeomi are the ones who spend the most time with you since they are the most responsible among the others, they will be much more attentive to your needs whenever your father is absent.
─ Sanzu made sure that you were never alone unless you wanted it that way, otherwise you will always be surrounded by Bonten's men, in a way, also for your safety.
─ The Haitani brothers were always there when you feel too encapsulated at home, when tasks overwhelm you, those two idiots, despite not taking you to the safest or most appropriate place for someone so young (their brothels), provide the mental rest you need.
─ Shion and Mochizuki usually have the role of bodyguards rather than babysitters, if Sanzu can't accompany you, drop you off or pick you up from your classes, those two are the ones who will take care of doing the work, they will listen attentively to you chatter about your day to tell your father about it later.
─ Mikey may be the one you see the least, he's quite busy and he doesn't really like having to take care of a brat, but if he has some free time he'll let you accompany him to get takoyaki, you'll be able to buy anything you want too on the condition that Sanzu doesn't find out that you're eating 'harmful' things on the sly.
─ Your father has become very cautious with things that cause you stress and discomfort, although sometimes it is a bit annoying not to be able to eat a couple more sweets, you understand his position, because you were like that when he was at his lowest point.
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slutdge · 8 hours
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hi yall, i know its late but ill put a little life update under the cut for anyone thats awake and gives a shit, itll probably be ramble-y and incoherent lmao
i feel like ive lived 10000000 lifetimes in the last 2 months. i was too afraid to tell yall i got accepted to go to my college of choice (they let me apply as a mature student bc my highest level of completed education in 8th grade lmao) and ive been doing pretty good as far as grades are concerned, but also big changes are scary and bring up a lot of memories i want to cling to so i havent been coping the best with that. i feel like a child still even though im a grown ass man and thats what child abuse and believing you were gonna kill yourself at 16 and not live this long will do to ya. but what i can say is ive still made it to class on my worst days. i love what im learning but i also need to recognize the limitations that come with a chronic disability like schizophrenia. what i can honestly say is that ive been doing the work to try and get away from this abusive relationship and make a better life for myself and i value everyone that sent me asks/messages after i told them i was grieving, i appreciate it so much. i dont want to spend my life being afraid to be emotional because thats a trait i learned from my dad and i HATE my dad. i dont wanna be like him. i wanna love. i want to forgive myself because i know in my heart deep down ive never done anything unforgivable. hope all that made sense, im delirious rn, the inadequacy of words is a torturous thing, this has been a lot to process in a short amount of time. im afraid of learning but i also want to embrace it and i just remind myself that not everyones my dad. not everyone is persecuting me all the time. i wanna go back home to florida soon for a visit with my aunt and cousins cause i think that would help, maybe when i finish my first semester. im becoming my real self, not my persona ive put on for so long after a lifetime of abuse, and its the scariest thing ive ever done. confronting the trauma is so much scarier than drinking it away or doing heroin and i didnt anticipate that. anyways i hope all that made sense. im doing my best and progress is being made even if its slow going. i hope i can get to a happy place one day, and im taking the steps to do it. i dont wanna perform out of fear anymore. i just wanna live. i wanna leave the past in the past and its fucking hard, but for the first time in my life, i actually want to do it. im actually trying.
re-reading the mohawk warrior society handbook has helped a lot through these troubling times and i recommend it to anyone else struggling with similar issues.
anyways i should go to bed now cause ive got a 9 am lecture, have a good night yall 🫀
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nekkomaa · 13 hours
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Warnings: Violence, inappropriate language, manipulation, toxic relationships.
Notes: I finally managed to finish this chapter without hating it!!! If you notice any errors please let me know, I know very little English and so I end up translating everything using an online translator, and you know sometimes there are errors...
Portuguese version published on Wattpad
Word counts: 1.435
The job was simple: break into the house of one of Markrov's henchmen, get any clues about their connection, and hopefully more clues about the human trafficking that had been going on for months. However, the job proved complicated when he had to deal not only with the guards but also with a woman, well, he was told that the guy had a wife, but he didn't expect her to be in the house.
The job was supposed to be simple. So why instead of just two in the car were there now three?
He actually considered the idea of killing her, leaving her in the house and making it look like some kind of ridiculous accident, just to confuse them and give them more time to act. But he felt sorry, Simon never liked killing women, he didn't even know if you were lying to them or not, but Ghost never minded killing women, not if they were involved in anything illegal.
You could well be in on it with your husband, and he wouldn't know until it was too late. Deep down your instincts tell you that you're just an ignorant woman who doesn't even know about her own husband, which would explain some of your behavior, but Ghost doesn't usually give people the benefit of the doubt, he's more of a shoot first ask questions later kind of guy.
So why is he taking you along? The only answer Ghost has come up with at the moment is that you could be of great help, a decoy perhaps. If this were a kidnapping, he could even use you as a bargaining chip, to find out how much the husband would be willing to pay to get his beautiful trophy wife back, but everyone knows that her husband wouldn't pay a penny to get you back.
As soon as they arrived at the safe house the first thing they did was tie you properly to a chair, they knew you wouldn't be able to escape even if they let you loose, not with two trained men of their size, but it was good to be safe. Ghost barely looked at you, he prefers not to memorize too many faces of people who will probably end up dead, he already has enough people to haunt his dreams, he doesn't need one more.
As soon as Ghost removed the tape from his mouth, he was ready to leave, anything not to be in the same room as you. He wasn't too surprised when you didn't scream, I mean, he realized you were a clever little thing the moment you decided to collaborate with him, maybe deep down he expected you to scream and shout at the top of your lungs even though you saw you were in the middle of nowhere and knew it wouldn't do any good, he kind of expected any reaction from you, just so he could be rude without feeling so guilty. He doesn't even know whether or not you were involved and aware of what your husband was doing.
“I thought she'd have some resistance, you know screaming and all.” Soap seemed excited by the discovery, a little too excited, but Ghost had learned to ignore strange comments and actions during his time in the army, after all, none of them had a good sanity, not even him.
“I think she understood that no one will come even if she screams.” Ghost just turned and left the room, heading for the room he would be staying in, he would leave you for Soap to deal with, meanwhile he would find out more information in other ways.
Soap appeared at the door a few minutes later, saying that you had fainted, overwhelmed by everything, Ghost just nodded and told him to try again later.
And then Soap was in charge of trying to get more information out of you when you were awake. Ghost felt he'd already had too much interaction with you, and let's face it, Soap was great at getting people to open up, so he was an infinitely better chance. Even though he initially failed, Ghost still believed that Jonny could achieve something.
“Why can't we have a clean safe house for once in our lives?” Soap complains as he throws himself on the bed and dust rises, he coughs a few times trying to shake the dust away in a failed attempt.
“We're in a safe house, not a vacation home Jonny. At least this one has furniture.” Ghost's voice comes out sarcastic, he doesn't take his eyes off the computer, grumbling when something doesn't go as he expects.
“How long is this going to last?” Soap rambles to himself, not really caring whether Ghost listens or not.
“Preferably as little as possible.” He answers back and lets out a strange sound, a muffled, croaking laugh. “I found something you might want to read.” Ghost passes the computer to Soap, the small print on the screen showing something interesting.
The night was colder than he thought it would be, probably because winter was approaching. Ghost stood guard in the early hours of the night, Soap was passed out on the dusty bed in the bedroom, at least this safe house had some comfort, in the last few missions the safe houses had nothing more than just the bathroom sink and the shower, of course, only cold water.
He busied himself going over the information he had about the mission. It was routine, something he was used to and something he could relate to now, if he let his mind wander to any other thought than the mission he knew he would lose himself in a spiral and Ghost couldn't let that happen. Not while he still had a mission to finish, not while he was still on that mission.
He wouldn't give you anything more than a few glances, just to make sure you were still in your sleep/fainting state. It would be tedious for anyone else to sit up half the night watching someone else, without much to occupy themselves, but Ghost doesn't really care, too used to babysitting at night to care that much.
It's actually kind of pathetic now that he thinks about it, the fact that he's watching you. A weak, untrained woman, tied to a chair and passed out. You'd never get out of that house without one of the two of you noticing, Ghost could be mistaken about you, you could be a clever little mouse playing dumb, but he still doubts you'd be able to get rid of the ropes holding you down without making a sound.
He's only awake to keep people out of the house, that's the truth. You're no danger to him. Too fearful, not even able to take the pressure of a few questions and already fainting.
Ghost remembers somewhere in the back of his mind that you're just a civilian, and as far as he knows you have every right to cry and faint out of fear and exhaustion, he sometimes forgets that people aren't like him, that most people aren't in the army.
And in a corner of his mind comes the nagging voice reminding him that for all he knows you might actually be being held in private. But again, it's just an assumption, not confirmed information. He found almost nothing about you in the files, your name was mentioned once in a file, but it was so vague that it could easily have been forgotten.
Ghost rolls his eyes at the thought and snorts, he'd rather not think about it too much, if he knew that bastard was holding you against your will he certainly wouldn't spare his fingers when he finally managed to catch the lowlife. Ghost simply hates violence against innocent, unarmed women. He also hates the memories that come with that thought.
A heavy sigh leaves his lips, he would definitely kill for a cup of tea or an alcoholic drink right now, anything to slow down his mind and relax his tense body. But well, unfortunately there's nothing in this house apart from drinking water, and if they're lucky, some kind of canned food.
The sound is very low, but it's still noticeable if you're paying attention. Ghost looks away from the window and sees you looking around, your gaze unfocused and lost, surely it would take you a few seconds to fully regain consciousness.
That's when Ghost knows it's going to be a long night. Maybe he'll wake Soap up and let him deal with it.
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Devil's Luck - Dr. Fearless/Reader
Warnings: Gender-neutral reader (with some masc nicknames), nothing but typical Fearless failcringe (we love it).
Wordcount: 6836
Summary: Your luck was so weird, you could end up doing something random like win a contest to an online horror host's livestream thanks to a friend, and somehow manage to meet your soulmate, but that might be pushing it, right?
Notes: My first Fearless >:3 this was part of a trade with the wonderful @lakesofneptune for writing me Matty 💗/)//w//(\💗 it was amazing, so in return I've put on my fangs and written this 🧛 I hope you all enjoy~ 🖤🖤🖤
You didn't know how your luck worked, but boy was it prevalent in the weirdest of ways. Hitting every single detour to the point of being late, and still managing to do it on the one day of the month where it somehow still benefited you. Losing your wallet right before you need to pay for groceries, and having it be returned by the hottest person in the store just in time. Entering a random contest because your best friend only wanted half of the prize, and knowing your track record he’d written down your name on the off chance you won, so naturally you did.
That was how you ended up here on a late Monday night of all nights, the details given to you by your friend just hours before as he excitedly barged into your apartment with the announcement email printed off. You'd just gotten home, and he knew that since you were neighbours, the man waiting for you with bated breath it seemed as you watched him slap the paper down on your counter while you were still in the process of taking off your coat. ‘I just made your whole night,’ he boldly claimed, and you just blinked at him while you remained frozen mid-removal. ‘You just won the privilege to be on TV, courtesy of me! Well, not exactly, but it is being livestreamed, that's where the channel is- nevermind, just get ready, there's a dress code for this so you fit in, I wish they'd sent this earlier, we might've had time to do your hair.’
You blinked again as he spoke, his hands wild and his eyes scanning your closet for something that would fit said dress code, and you finished taking off your coat and set it over the back of your couch. ‘Uh, hello to you too,’ you said as you moved on to your shoes, not bothered at all as he started motioning for you to move a little faster. 
‘Okay, I know this doesn't happen for a few hours, but you really do need to get ready,’ he insisted as he headed for your closet and inspected it more closely, your pair of black boots you saved for winter coming out along with the trenchcoat you bought as part of a Halloween costume years ago and just never donated when you were done with it.
‘What the hell are you dressing me as?’ you asked with a curious raise of your eyebrows at the startings of the ensemble, and he seemed unsure about the coat but ultimately set it aside with the boots. He didn't answer you, just rushed to your bedroom to raid your other closet presumably, and you sighed and followed him before he made a mess. 
‘Need dark clothes, spikes, leather, uh… you still have the rest of that costume? I can lend you some of my stuff if you don’t,’ he wondered without even looking at you, and you resigned yourself to your fate and started to dig through the boxes buried behind all the stuff you actually wore.
‘If this is for some kinda sex thing-’
‘It’s not! It's classy, just gothic, I swear,’ he insisted when your outfit was chosen, and as you stared down at it you had to trust your weird luck and that your friend wouldn't lead you astray.
‘Fine, so what is this? Something livestreamed, am I like, putting on a presentation? Do I need to memorize anything?’ There was no fighting this, might as well go with the flow, it would be less painful this way when he brought you to this mysterious location.
‘Well, there's this channel I watch, and they're all about horror, you know how much I love horror; anyway, they got two tickets to that new vampire movie that's coming out, we're talking premium seats, free popcorn, opening night, it's sick as hell. So they started a contest, write them an email about how much you love horror and the first place winner gets the tickets as well as a spot on the show when they go to collect them, and that's gunna be you!’ It was then you noticed that he was dressed a little fancier than usual, his hair was slicked back and he was wearing eyeliner, his own gothness upped a few levels for the occasion.
‘Lemme guess, the winner gets to bring a friend,’ you figured, your reflection showing you a pair of vampires by the time you were done, it was almost kind of funny. 
‘Of course, it's first prize, plus I'm not leaving without those tickets,’ he told you matter of factly, and he looked you over before humming to himself and snapping his fingers. He pulled out an eyeliner pen from his pocket and quickly applied it to you, he was very prepared for this, and you had to admit it did look like you were about to hit the local goth club or something like this. ‘That'll have to do, time to head out, thank you so much for doing this for me, you know how much I hate being on camera.’
‘Oh, so that's why I'm the scapegoat here,’ you realized flatly while you did up your shoes, but he completely missed or ignored your sarcastic tone. 
‘It's just for a half hour, the host is pretty eccentric and he does bits between the movies, so most of your appearance will be banter, and you know how bad I am with that,’ he reminded you like you weren't already well aware of how he clammed up the moment someone shot a quip back at him. ‘So based on the other guests I've seen, you'll just go on, do some talking about horror stuff - which you can bullshit your way through, you've known me long enough - announce a short film submitted to or found by the producers, and then whatever movie is playing next. After that you'll probably get my tickets, we can get outta there, and I’ll tell you if the movie is any good.’
‘Wha- I don't even get to go after all this?’
‘Hell no, you know I’ve been trying to ask that girl down at the 2nd floor out, this is the perfect date, actually perfect, I can’t- I cannot waste this on just us hanging out, can’t do it man, I’m sorry,’ he apologized profusely while also managing to sound not sorry at all, something he was incredibly good at.
‘Alright, but if she doesn’t go for it, I want that second seat,’ you bargained, to which he gladly agreed as thanks for you doing this. That settled, he picked the paper back up off the counter and led the way to his car; the place was some rented building in what used to be a stripmall, all the shops around it closed and rented out for various reasons like this, between self storage, an apartment you were pretty sure, and a small-time but very heavily guarded liquor store. It wasn't impressive, but it brought life to the place you could see as people filled the normally empty parking lot now that the sun had set and the show was about to be in progress.
You’d learned that while it was livestreamed for its channel, they also opened their doors to the locals as well to stop in, catch a movie, and donate if they liked what was going on. You could see that the small crowd they drew were very much into it, no one there ironically to your surprise, and you started to worry that maybe bullshitting your way through your half hour wouldn’t be as easy as your friend thought; you were a casual enjoyer of horror compared to him, and these other people. You liked to see the latest stuff with your favourite B-Tier actor in it when he reappeared for roles, and you enjoyed the popular classics and the odd camp as much as the next guy, but could you get away with that when the person walking in front of you had the bride of Dracula shaved into his hair?
‘I don’t think I can do this, they’ll know I didn’t write the letter,’ you gulped when you transitioned from stripmall to eerily decorated rooms, the whole place looking more like you were about to enter a haunted house than a set. 
‘Shit, I knew I forgot something, I printed it off so you could read it, maybe drop a line or two,’ he hissed before he was forcing a huge smile and presenting his winning ticket even though it should’ve been you. The ticket taker, a tall woman with bright red hair and too many piercings to count, looked you both over before motioning for a shorter woman with white hair done up in high twintails with fake devil horns on her headband to lead your way, and you followed her nervously until you reached the set. It was done up even more than the foyer, two plush chairs with an old box tv between them as the main attraction while the rest was decorated to look like a castle library you presumed.
There was a coffin in the left corner right before the backdrop ended, candles galore - although you were sure they were mostly for show, burnt down until the wax got everywhere while fake ones were hidden between - as well as jars filled with various things. There were so many fake cobwebs you were sure some real ones were bound to be mixed in by now, and even a fake fireplace and chandelier hung from the ceiling next to the boom mic. It was a pretty well-loved set, every nook and cranny you could see positively filled with Halloween and horror themed things; while it looked cheap to buy, everything was touched up and placed with great care, and even now people were leaving tips and browsing the small corner of the room dedicated to themed treats as well as the graciously flowing popcorn maker.
‘Wow, this is the real deal,’ you said aloud before you could help yourself, and instantly you felt a presence behind you that wasn't your friend or the woman who’d brought you over.
‘Indeed, welcome to my humble abode, I trust you’re the lucky vic- I mean, guest I’ll have the honour of sitting with tonight?’ It was a man’s voice, heavy with an over the top Transylvanian accent, and when you turned you were very much not ready to see who it belonged to; out of everyone there, it was clear even from a distance that this was your host, your eyes looking up and up until you met his own. He was pale, caked in makeup to make him appear almost dead, his eyes surrounded by more black than you’d ever seen on anyone outside of Halloween, with a thin, red scar trailing from his forehead to his cheek and a pair of long Nosferatu-style fangs resting over his bottom lip. 
He was all dressed up in his vampiric best, from the black suit overtop his silky, purple shirt, to the red jeweled medallion hanging between the clasps of his impressively expensive-looking cape, but none of that was what really caught your eye. No, it was the haircut, a bob with triangle bangs that were cut way too high, and you couldn’t stop the small and short laugh as it escaped your throat when you saw it. Instantly your friend was there to stop you from letting out more and to introduce himself, your host’s eyes only on you despite the rudeness even as his hand was taken in an eager handshake.
‘Hey! Sorry about that, my name is-’
‘Please, with all due respect, it is your captivating friend here which I am interested in,’ he interrupted as he stole his hand back and presented it to you instead, and you noticed the black nail polish to top it all off when you looked down. ‘You’re the winner of my little search for a lover of all things macabre and fiendish, are you not?’
‘Uh, yeah, that’s me,’ you lied, your friend frozen in shock at getting to shake his hand even for that brief moment.
‘Wonderful, I could sense it when I looked at you, your blood smelled positively rich with fright even from across my theater, a creature after my own heart,’ he swooned like he was in love, and one quick glance to your friend told you it was all part of the bit, he thought himself a Romeo of monsters.
‘Oh, I don’t know if it’s fright, but-’ You cut yourself off when he then took your hand, tired of waiting for you to shake it, but instead of the greeting your friend had gotten, he simply lifted your hand up while he leaned over, and you felt his fake teeth press into your skin as he kissed you hello. 
‘Divine, your pulse under my lips makes my heart soar, perhaps I may get more acquainted with it during the show, turn you into one of my own,’ he thought aloud as he stared at you through dark makeup and long lashes, and you didn’t know whether to laugh or blush at how hard he was hamming it on before the cameras even started rolling.
‘Yeah, sure, I’m the winner, aren’t I? Pretty good prize to become a vampire at the end,’ you joked, but he seemed to take it seriously as his eyes widened briefly in excitement.
‘What a handsome addition to my clan,’ he whispered before kissing you again, and this time you felt less sure about how much he was actually hamming it or if he was a better actor than you originally thought. Your moment was quickly interrupted when a new person arrived to hand him his script for the night, the two talking quietly to themselves as you were guided presumably just out of sight by the shorter woman again. She gave you the quick rundown while you were gently touched up for the cameras, how you were indeed going to be called on, do some banter, introduce some things, and then you were free to go claim your tickets. 
Seemed easy enough, and his eccentricness seemed just as easy to match as long as you forgot the fact that 20+ people were watching you in this room alone, so you practiced your breathing and waited as the lights dimmed and a spotlight fell over the coffin in the corner. You hadn’t watched him enter it but apparently he had, the fireplace now roaring to life behind the chairs and TV, each of the fake candles now creating shadows on everything. The chatter started to quiet until the whole room was silent, everyone gathered into the mismatch of thrifted couches and chairs so it really felt like a theater or even a living room, the only sounds that of the snacks currently being chewed and the fog machine whirring to life.
‘Good evening, Boils and Ghouls, my Fiendish Freaks who dare dredge these long, cold nights with the Creatures of the Dark for any glimmer of light,’ his voice came from the speakers placed around the room, but there was no applause, that wasn't the atmosphere of this place. The coffin creaked open with a perfectly timed soundboard hit, the creak overly loud as he reached out delicately and pushed the lid until he was revealed, and the spotlight landed perfectly on him as he looked out onto the crowd before focusing on the camera. ‘Once again, it is I, your horrid host of the evening, Dr. Fearless, and I thank you all for joining me. Tonight, we have a horrible lineup of classic horror monsters to terrify you with, to finish off our Marathon of Madness leading into the most wonderful month of the year, October.
‘We also have not one, but two short films made by aspiring fearmakers, full of monsters the likes of which this castle has yet to house, let us hope none of them decide to crawl through your screen and find a home there.’ He left the coffin completely as he spoke, taking careful steps towards the leftmost chair, and as soon as he sat down the TV blinked to life, static filling the room as the spotlight faded into something gloomier so the room wasn't in complete darkness apart from the candles. ‘But first, let us welcome our Ghoulish Guest for tonight, the answer to my howls in the dark, the Passenger of the Demeter!’
That was your cue, and the soundboard lit up again with a very classic organ tune as bats chirped in the background, a roar of thunder sounding as you sat across from him. You went to shake his hand properly this time, but again he refused, another kiss warming your hand before he quickly turned your arm to expose your wrist; your eyes widened as he leaned in for a bite, and you almost let him surprisingly enough before you felt the tips of his fangs press into your skin. You jerked away, and he feigned offense before catching himself, an apology tossed your way with a great flourish.
‘Forgive me, I thought you might be offering me a drink to start off the evening, these films often leave me quite parched,’ he projected, and when you opened your mouth to say it was okay you found a zombie standing beside you dressed as a butler; he held out a golden tray, of course silver would be off the menu, and on it was what could only be described as a grand - at least from afar - goblet next to a large wine glass. ‘Thank you, my humble helper, this will greatly help until I may have a taste- er, a toast, with our guest,’ he told the man, who loudly groaned and walked off as soon as the drinks were taken.
You could smell that it was simply fruit punch, but the colour was darker, probably deepend with food colouring, they really were the real deal. He held up his goblet while everyone stared, and you ignored them all as you tapped the rim of your glass against his own before taking a small sip. He seemed pleased, and in one swift movement he set down his goblet, crossed his legs, and adjusted his cape with another grand flourish.
‘Now that our thirsts have been quenched, let us partake in this delectable first short film to start off the night, a fearful story about what happens when love takes a desperate turn,’ he told the cameras dramatically, and the TV flickered to life to show everyone the short in question. ‘You're doing wonderful, my Myotis,’ he whispered to you as the short’s audio was blasted through the room, a secondary screen dropping down to reveal a projector hiding above the chandelier so everyone else could watch.
‘Your what?’ you whispered back in confusion, but he either didn't hear you or ignored the question.
‘By the way, since I was so very entranced by your eyes when we met, I forgot to ask what you would like to be called during our gathering, do you have any special name prepared?’
‘Uh, no, not really,’ you chuckled awkwardly, something like that hadn't even been close to being on your mind.
‘I shall name you like the day you were born, then, something chilling but also fitting of your beauty, your charm,’ he offered, still hamming it up even though only you could hear, and you wondered for a moment if maybe this was just… how he always was, this wasn't an act for the cameras.
‘Okay, shock and awe me,’ you agreed as you took another sip of ‘blood’, and his eyes shone in the firelight as he quickly started to think up something befitting of you; he was silly, and so over the top you knew you could never match this energy, but he was also strangely endearing in a way, a childlike wonder and love for all of this setting him apart from everyone else watching so intently before you, and you could see why people came to the streams, not just watched them at home.
The short ended and you actually didn't notice at first until the credits were over and the screen rose again, the film ended on the TV as well as it switched back to the atmospheric static. ‘Wasn't that frightening, my Fiends? Trading the senses just to keep love, choosing the heart of another over being able to ever see them again, have you ever seen anything more romantic?’ Of course no one answered, and in the audience you saw your friend eating all of this up along with the complimentary snacks that came with being the ‘winner's guest’. ‘Ah, but we are not here for romance, we're here for the darkness within us all to be shared, exposed, torn open and put on display like an embalmed, still-beating heart,’ he continued as he covered the lower half of his face with his cape dramatically. ‘Of course, having met our guest tonight, I might finally understand what that kind of devotion might drive someone to, wouldn't you agree?’
The sound of a beating heart pulsed through the speakers, and he stared at you until you met his eye and he raised his eyebrows suggestively, his mouth still hidden. You tried not to laugh, a bit of a chuckle still escaping, and he still took it and held his hands over his heart as he leaned back in his chair.
‘Like music to my ears, but again, we are not here for love, we are here for fear, terror, maybe even a bit of pain for those so inclined-’ Another eyebrow raise, apparently he was the one inclined. ‘-so allow my devilish date to introduce our next short after a quick message from our benefactors.’ You assumed that was his term for the channel's sponsors, and sure enough someone else came back out to talk about some product they were being pushed to promote off to your right, the camera turning to their section of stage while they talked. This allowed you both another moment to talk, and he handed you a card with the next short’s title as well as some information about it as soon as you were out of sight. ‘Memorize this, the way you've already memorized my very soul, my enticing incubus,’ he told you, and this time you couldn't hide your laugh.
‘Okay,’ was all you had to say to that one as you stifled your surprised snickers, the card small and to the point with its words as such.
‘I must say, with the way you wrote that letter to me, I expected more conversation with you, perhaps you are too overwhelmed by my presence to speak? I apologize if so, I never intended to strike you speechless when it is you who steals the words from my very throat until I cannot breathe,’ he continued as he leaned in, his goblet in hand and faintly staining his pale lips a little more red as he sipped again. You shot your friend a glance, of course your personalities would come off as so different, and you didn't want to get him disqualified at the last second when he was so looking forward to his upcoming date.
‘Guess I'm a bit camera shy,’ you didn't exactly lie, and he let out a long, ‘Ahhhhh~’ in understanding as he turned to watch the device film his co-worker.
‘I, too, used to fear the camera, I worried that it wouldn't be able to record me so my dreams of being a horror host would be dashed, but do not fret, my charming cadaver, I can attest that it is more afraid of you than you are of it, you are doing just fine.’ Despite the flowery - weedy? - language you had to admit that he sounded genuine in his advice, and you nodded to yourself as the sponsor finished up and the two of you prepared to be focused on again.
‘Thanks, I think I'm ready now,’ you whispered to him just before the audience was staring at you again, and you took a bigger sip to steel your nerves and held the card in your hand just out of view. 
‘Wasn't that hypnotizing, I feel the need to go to their digital address and present them with the phrase my associate has just shared so generously with you all.’ He wasted no time in getting back to it, he couldn’t afford to when they still needed to get to the movie before it got too late. ‘Now, it is time for our surprise second tale of sorrow, if you'll allow my guest to tell you all about it, the horrifying, the enchanting, the anticipated… Lord Dullahan~’ 
Your eyebrows raised, naming you after the Headless Horseman despite having a head was a bold move, and you stole a glance at your friend and channeled all of his energy as you sucked in a deep breath and felt the atmosphere settle into your bones. ‘Good evening, as a great enjoyer of the strange and unusual, I find myself quite at home here, my dear Fearless,’ you said as grandly as you could, making sure to project your voice loud so it could be picked up by not only the boom mic high above but also the audience, and your friend gave you two thumbs up before delving back into his popcorn with a big smile. 
Fearless, on the other hand, looked positively surprised by you, and you swore you might've seen actual hearts - medically accurate ones at that - in his eyes as he stood up and fell to one knee in front of the TV with a large swish of his cape behind him, his hand finding yours before you could blink.
‘The pleasure is all mine to host you, my dear Dullahan,’ he said like you were the only two in the room, briefly losing himself in the bit it seemed, and the person manning the soundboard thought now would be a perfect time to make use of that beating heart cue again. You heard your friend snicker so you doubled down and kissed his hand before pulling yours away to take another sip, going for a more mysterious air after your long silence in front of everyone else. You couldn't be sure under the lights and his makeup but it almost looked like his cheeks flushed a bit at the gesture, and you grinned at the taste of his own medicine before going back to your little ‘script’.
‘While the storm rages outside, why don't you join us by this warm fire while we watch a tale about what happens when you try to cheat death, and how you might just get exactly the answers you've been looking for along the way.’ You had no cape, but you still hid your face the same way he had, and when you glanced down and saw him still kneeling there you swore that he might actually think you were his soulmate with how genuinely in love he looked, he was a damn good actor under all the camp. ‘Doctor, I believe our guests might not be able to partake along with us as long as you’re down there, would you prefer to watch from your seat, or mine?’
This one threw him through a loop greater than he’d done to you, and when he looked unable to answer, his hands hovering over your own, your knee, his eyes never leaving your own, you then channeled every vampire movie you’d ever seen; you pet him under the chin, dragging your finger across his jaw to his chin in order to make him stand, and he did so easily he might actually be hypnotized, you had to give it to him for selling all this so seamlessly. Just when he looked ready to sit, you stood as well and took his seat, giving him yours to finish the bit, and the TV sparked back to life as he sat down and watched you instead of the screen. Behind you, the short played again just over your heads, and you nearly drank from his goblet before realizing that yours was still on the opposite table.
‘An indirect kiss from you would be like a dream, a nightmare on a stormy night, such bliss you could give me,’ he whispered as he went to drink from your own, and you shook your head and exchanged it back without distracting the audience too much from the film.
‘Sorry, maybe next time,’ you joked, your throat surprisingly dry even after such little speaking. ‘You’re good at improv, sorry for nearly derailing things, by the way.’
He shook his head, his disappointment over the kiss looking a little too real as he set his goblet back down on the other table. ‘Do not trouble yourself over such a trivial thing, none have ever rendered me as silent as the grave as you have, I fear it is my head that may roll by the end of the night,’ he waxed poetically at you, still hamming it up before a new disappointment showed on his face. ‘Ah, but alas, I may never get that privilege, you’re to leave me once the film begins, are you not?’
You paused, you’d almost forgotten about that part, in fact your friend was already starting to gather up his many wrappers and stuff them into the now empty popcorn bag, the flashing lights shining on him in his seat. You frowned, this was too much fun, more than you expected it to be, and you motioned for him to lean in; he eagerly did, his eyes wide and looking pitch black instead of brown in the darkness no matter how close he came to you. ‘Would I be able to stay for the film? I mean, I can move to the audience somewhere, or to the floor if there’s no room, I’ve just… never done anything like this before, I don’t want to leave, not right away, at least?’
He almost broke character as he actually looked away from you and to the people in the glass-partitioned studio where his live editor and director sat, and he had a wordless conversation with them in front of you while the audience focused on the scifi hell going on behind you. When he looked back he was himself again, or Fearless, more rather, and he reached across the TV’s expanse in search of your hand. You humoured him as thanks, and he nodded his head, already coming up with his next lines no doubt as the film above finished up.
‘How terrifying, again we’ve seen what lengths we will go to for love, and what harm we will bring to those in the way of those lengths,’ he said as soon as the screen was raised again, and you nodded at the camera and crossed your legs, his chair definitely more comfy than your own had been despite being the same.
‘Would you ever go to such lengths for love, Doctor?’ you asked in order to keep your presence worth it, and again he tripped over his own tongue as he gazed over to you.
‘I shall tonight, if anyone dares separate us before midnight,’ he threatened playfully with a theatrical wave of his hands, a subtle warning to those behind the glass after his conversation with them. ‘Speaking of, the clock is about to strike, soon it will be October, and I cannot think of better company to start off the season of witches and werewolves and welcome my fellow vampires back into the harvest moonlight.’ He stood and gave his audience a bow, a chorus of bats nearly making you jump as he dipped down low. ‘The time is upon us now, the countdown begins, and so I shall have to bid my guest adieu so we may partake in our grand finale of the evening; Lord Dullahan, if you’d please?’
He extended his hand back to you, and you tried to hide your disappointment as you took it, only for him to get you one last time; he drew you close and lowered his face into your neck, not actually biting you but still startling you enough to make you cling to him in a not so unpleasant fear. Your eyes widened as you sucked in a shaky breath, your fingers digging in what had to be uncomfortably into his bicep and shoulder, and you heard him chuckle before you realized what was going on and you fell limp in his arms.
‘A creature so lovely cannot be permitted to leave this castle alive! Forgive me, my innocent Dullahan, I could not resist the sweet call of your blood, your heartbeat, the way I had to feel it pulse under my piercing fangs… I swear I shall care for you here, this castle will forever be your home, and you will forever be mine!’ You pretended to look drowsily up at him, your grip returning to his arms since you’d gone a bit too limp and there was now a very real chance of him dropping you on the floor in front of everyone. You rubbed at your neck and winced, and when you brought your hand up you showed the red from your obscured glass now staining your fingers to finish selling it.
‘Whatever you desire, Master,’ you slurred, knowing that that kind of title usually went along with these kinds of situations, and you watched in stunned silence as the soundboard accidentally sent out what could only be described as a cartoonish boing sound before the correct sound of thunder crashed instead. Fearless hid his face as he bit his lip, his shoulders tensing as the soundboard operator was wildly chastised behind the glass, and you hid your face in his shoulder until your own laughing stopped. 
‘Very good, I knew I chose well,’ he continued after a brief moment of almost losing it, and you blew out a quick breath and let him help you stand, the loud song of a clock chiming letting you know that it was now midnight. ‘The clock tower! Hear its chimes, and know that midnight is upon us!’ he called out to everyone, and you weren’t surprised as everyone actually joined in on the countdown. As they slowly called out the numbers, Fearless grabbed your drink and handed it back to you, your arms hooked now that you guessed you were his, and when it struck midnight you both drank until your glasses were empty.
You frowned at the taste, that wasn't your fruit punch, and you noticed in the confusion that he’d actually handed you his own, his tongue darting out to lick his lips as you tasted actual wine, guess the colour wasn't just for show in his case.
‘An indirect kiss was indeed such a dream, what bliss,’ he repeated, and you felt your face grow just as red as the liquid in his goblet at how low his voice had become. ‘And now, our grand finale of the evening to start off our marathon to Halloween starting tomorrow night, featuring a marathon of horror as voted by you all out there. So, grab some wine, or blood, of your own, maybe find something tasty to bite into while you watch, as I present to you: The Creature Walks Among Us~’
The screen lowered for the final time, the audience getting up to replenish their snacks for the movie as the opening credits rolled, and your friend quickly threw out his trash and jogged over to you. ‘Great work, I knew you’d be a natural up there, let’s grab those tickets and head out, I’ve already seen this one a million times,’ he said excitedly as the producer came out with an envelope, Fearless finally leaving your side to go get it to present to you.
‘Yeah, actually I think I’m gunna stay,’ you confessed, and he looked between you and your host before something sly showed on his face.
‘For you, my dear Du- forgive me, I suppose you don’t need that title away from our other guests,’ Fearless said almost nervously as he approached with ‘your’ gift, and your friend snatched it from you the second it was placed into your hands.
‘Thanks so much, this was fantastic, I had a real blast tonight, I hope you two enjoy the movie, I know I sure will,’ he told you cheekily before rushing out, probably in the worry that someone might take them back from him, and you waved at his back a moment before turning back to Fearless.
‘Shall I grab a seat now that his is free? I’ve never seen this one before,’ you asked, and he glanced over to it before wrapping his arm - and cape - around your shoulders; he waved aside the solo guy taking up the couch and had him move to your friend’s vacant chair, and the short woman from before brought you a tray filled with complimentary snacks as you both sat down next to each other. She asked for your favourite drink, his already poured into a decorative glass shaped like a skeleton, clearly he also preferred to watch the movie from over here, and he let you sit against him as your own drink was brought over in a glass shaped like a bat curled around a branch. ‘Fancy, you do this with all your prize winners?’
‘No, just you,’ he whispered, and for a moment you actually looked around to see who’d spoken until it hit you that it was him, without the heavy accent. ‘Our mics are off, we can talk a little more normally while this is playing, unless you prefer Fearless?’ he asked, his voice changing back at the end, and you just blinked at him before grabbing some popcorn.
‘And who might you be, if not my dear Dr. Fearless?’ you teased, and this time you were sure he blushed as he let out a small yet nervous laugh.
‘Dwight, actually, and you are?’ You went to say your own name before you stopped, tried to say your friend’s instead, and he shook his head and held up a hand to get you to stop. ���I figured it out a while ago, but I knew for sure when you said you’d never seen it after singing its praises in the letter,’ he chuckled, and you cringed and sat up a little straighter.
‘I’m sorry, he was really excited for the tickets he’s just- terrible with being put on the spot, I swear he actually is a fan,’ you explained quickly, Dwight looking you over as his face almost changed into someone different; it was then you noticed he’d taken out his fangs so he could enjoy the snacks, and the cute goofiness suddenly transformed into rather handsomeness even with the wig.
‘And you’re not, judging on how you acted with me tonight,’ he confirmed, and you could only nod. ‘But you are now, I take it, after the show you gave everyone?’
‘I might be swayed, you did turn me, after all,’ you joked, Dwight’s eyes drifting to your neck like he might actually try again. ‘The constant love confessions were a surprise though, he didn’t warn me about those when he got me to come on here.’
‘Not a surprise to me, seeing as they were all genuine,’ he said simply before taking a drink, the opening credits finally over as everyone sat back down again to enjoy the film.
‘They were-?’
‘Even if I could tell you weren’t the soulmate I thought you might be in his letter, I must say that I did wanna get to know you, all the same,’ he admitted before hiding himself in a big bite of chocolate, and you thought over everything he’d said the past almost hour as your heart raced a little faster. It was silly, and over the top, and you still had no idea what a Myotis was, but you couldn’t deny that this creature beside you was not only silly but also fascinating, and you sat a little closer to him as you reached across his lap to grab his drink.
‘What was it you said? “An indirect kiss would be bliss”?’ you wondered before taking a sip, his real front teeth biting into his bottom lip as he watched. You gave him your name along with his drink, and you finally saw how your strange luck had struck once again as he offered you a bite of chocolate to go along with your handful of popcorn, the movie barely holding your attention as the two of you whispered to each other all throughout it.
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cynic-spirit · 2 days
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The request
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Yn stood in the dimly lit corner of the library, her usual confidence replaced with an unusual hesitance. She fiddled with the edge of her book, her fingers tracing the worn spine as she tried to gather the courage to speak. Bucky, sensing her unease, stepped closer, his intense gaze softening as he looked at her.
“Yn, what is it?” Bucky asked gently, his voice low and soothing. “You know you can tell me anything.”
Yn glanced up at him, her eyes filled with uncertainty. “I... I have a request, Bucky. But I’m not sure if I should ask.”
Bucky’s brows furrowed in concern. “Hey, it’s me. You can ask me anything. What’s on your mind?”
She shifted her weight, looking down at her feet. “It’s just... it’s a bit complicated, and I don’t want to burden you with it.”
Bucky took a step closer, his hand reaching out to gently lift her chin so she would look at him. “You could never burden me. Just tell me what you need. I’ll do it.”
Her eyes searched his, looking for reassurance. “But... it’s a lot to ask, and I don’t want you to feel obligated.”
Bucky’s grip on her chin was firm but tender, his eyes locked on hers with unwavering determination. “Yn, I’m not just saying this. Whatever it is, I’ll do it. Please, just tell me.”
Yn took a deep breath, her voice barely above a whisper. “Are you sure, Bucky? I don’t want to put you in a difficult position.”
Bucky’s expression softened even more, his heart aching at her apprehension. “I’m sure. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Just say the word, and it’s done.”
She hesitated a moment longer, her eyes dropping to the floor again. “It’s just... I don’t know how you’ll react, and I don’t want things to change between us.”
Bucky shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. “Nothing you ask could ever change how I feel about you. I promise. Just tell me, Yn.”
Yn’s hand trembled slightly as she reached up to touch his, still holding her chin. “Alright,” she said softly, meeting his gaze once more. “I’ll tell you. But please, understand how important this is to me.”
Bucky nodded, his eyes filled with resolve. “I understand. And I promise, whatever it is, I’ll make it happen.”
Yn took a deep breath, her fingers nervously rummaging through her satchel bag. Finally, she pulled out a small, elegant tube of Chanel lipstick. She held it out to Bucky, her eyes meeting his with a mixture of hope and apprehension.
"This is my favorite red lipstick," she said, her voice soft and uncertain. "I can't find it anywhere in this city. And... I don't want to be without my red lipstick. Would you..."
Before she could finish, Bucky's expression shifted from curiosity to a determined resolve. "Find it for you? Damn, Yn, I’ll move mountains to find this one."
He took the lipstick from her hand, examining the label as if committing it to memory. "Cannot have my girl without her red lips now, can I?" he said with a confident smirk.
Yn's shoulders relaxed a bit, a small smile forming on her lips. "You really don't have to go to so much trouble, Bucky. It's just a lipstick."
Bucky shook his head, his eyes never leaving hers. "No, it's not just a lipstick. It's your favorite. It’s part of what makes you... you. And I want you to have it. I'll find it, I promise."
She bit her lip, her eyes glistening with gratitude. "Thank you, Bucky. I really appreciate it. I know it's silly, but it means a lot to me."
He reached out and gently touched her cheek, his thumb brushing against her skin. "Nothing about you is silly, Yn. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. I’ll find this lipstick, no matter what it takes."
Yn nodded, feeling a warmth spread through her chest at his words. "You're amazing, Bucky. Thank you."
Bucky leaned in, his voice low and earnest. "Anything for you, Yn. I’ll have it back in your hands before you know it."
He turned, already planning his next steps, but not before giving her one last reassuring smile. "You just keep being you, with or without the lipstick. But I’ll make sure you have it. Count on that."
A few days later, Yn found a large, elegantly wrapped box waiting for her on her doorstep. Curiosity piqued, she carried it inside and set it on her kitchen table. The box was adorned with a luxurious ribbon, tied in a perfect bow.
With a mixture of excitement and trepidation, Yn untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. Her eyes widened in shock and delight as she saw the contents: rows and rows of her favorite Chanel red lipstick, meticulously arranged within the box. There had to be at least twenty tubes, each one shining under the light.
Nestled among the lipsticks was a small, handwritten note. Her heart skipped a beat as she picked it up and began to read:
"Those red lips are only mine to kiss...
Love, yours,
Bucky"
Yn's cheeks flushed, and she couldn't help but smile. She traced the words on the note with her fingers, feeling a warm flutter in her chest. Bucky had gone above and beyond, and the gesture touched her deeply.
She picked up one of the lipsticks, twisting it open to reveal the familiar, perfect shade of red. Applying a fresh coat, she felt a sense of completeness, a part of her restored.
As she admired her reflection in a nearby mirror, she couldn't help but think of Bucky's words. His declaration, both possessive and tender, echoed in her mind. She knew Bucky was a man of intense emotions, but this gesture showed a side of him that was deeply caring and attentive.
Yn's phone buzzed on the table, breaking her reverie. It was a message from Bucky.
"Did you get the package?"
She quickly typed back, her fingers trembling slightly.
"Yes, Bucky. I did. Thank you so much. This means more to me than you know."
Almost immediately, his reply came.
"Anything for you, Yn. You know that. Those red lips are my favorite."
Yn bit her lip, smiling as she typed back.
"And here I thought you were just a tough mobster."
"Only for you, Yn. Only for you."
She put her phone down, her heart feeling light. Bucky’s thoughtful gesture and heartfelt note were more than she could have ever asked for. She glanced at the box of lipsticks again, her smile widening.
As she went about her day, the note stayed with her, tucked safely into her pocket, a constant reminder of Bucky's affection and devotion. And with every glance in the mirror, her perfectly red lips would remind her of the man who had, without a doubt, wrapped himself around her heart.
Yn arranged to meet Bucky at his club. As she walked in, she felt a mix of gratitude and curiosity swirling within her. She spotted him at their usual spot, his rugged features softening as he saw her approach.
"Hey," she greeted, sitting down beside him. "I got the package."
Bucky's lips curled into a smirk. "I’m glad. Did it meet your expectations?"
Yn laughed softly, shaking her head in disbelief. "More than met. Exceeded by miles. But I have to know... how did you find it? And so many? I checked all the shops in the entire state."
Bucky leaned back, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Well... that’s my secret. I won’t reveal it."
She raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued but not pushing further. "Alright, keep your secrets then," she teased, her smile growing.
Bucky's expression grew serious, though his eyes still held that playful glint. "Now, I believe we had an agreement," he said, his voice dropping to a low murmur.
Yn blushed, feeling the warmth spread through her cheeks. She leaned in, her lips brushing against his gently at first, then deepening the kiss. It was a kiss filled with gratitude and affection, a promise of more.
When they finally pulled away, Bucky's hand lingered on her cheek, his thumb tracing the line of her jaw. "Yes," he said softly, his voice filled with satisfaction. "My red lips. Mine to kiss."
Yn's heart raced at his possessive yet tender words. She smiled, resting her forehead against his. "Only yours," she whispered.
The intensity in Bucky's eyes softened, a rare tenderness that he reserved only for her. He pulled her closer, wrapping his arm around her. "You have no idea what you do to me," he confessed quietly.
Yn chuckled, the sound light and melodic. "I think I might have some idea," she replied, her eyes sparkling.
They stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in each other. Yn’s heart swelled with a mixture of emotions. She felt cherished and adored, knowing that Bucky would go to any lengths for her. And as for Bucky, every moment with Yn only deepened his affection, making him all the more certain that she was the one who had truly captured his heart.
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myname-isnia · 11 months
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I spent an hour and a half staring at my google doc and ended up with no newly typed words and the overwhelming urge to tear my own hair out
#I’m never finishing this fic#it’s literally just a thousand words. maybe 1.5k#that’s all there is to finish this chapter#I’m so so close and yet I can’t reach it#I don’t want to tell this story anymore. I’m sick of it#but I have to finish it or it’ll become another stain on my conscience#like sotrl. like whumptober 2021. like everything I’ve ever tried to write#I don’t think I could live with myself if I never finished it#I never finish anything. I need this to me the one thing I do#just to prove to myself that I can#that I’m not useless. that all this suffering and beating my head against the wall had some worth to it#I’ve reached the bargaining stage#just this one. finish this one fic and you never have to write again. I promise#just one final push to the finish line and you can quit#god… what happened to me#what happened to that 11yo girl who just found out fanfiction existed and went all wide eyes#said she wanted to write too. how it must be so much fun#where did she go#it was like she existed one minute and was gone without a trace the next#guess what happened was what happens every time nia decided to take up something#she’s all starry eyed about it right up until actually trying. then she realises she sucks at it and quits#but this time. I pushed on. trying to accomplish something. and it ended up not being worth anything anyway#it ended with nia begging herself to write just another thousand words and then she can quit and never think of writing again#I want that girl back. can you imagine if I was as passionate now as I was back then#not hating everything my hands touched? I’d be unstoppable#fuck. I just had a breakdown over this last weekend. I hoped it was drawn out enough for the next wave to be pushed back further#guess not. guess I’m stuck crying for no good reason over and over again. instead of sucking it up and finishing and quitting#laughable. nothing short of pathetic. and I called myself a writer once. now I can’t wait to be able to quit#I can count the number of people who read my stuff on one hand anyway. me quittung not a big loss by any means#only one person would be truly upset. maybe two. but I’m done. I don’t give a shit anymore. be happy I’m not deleting everything. that’s it
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luck-of-the-drawings · 5 months
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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liquidstar · 6 months
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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buildarocketboys · 2 months
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Man nothing like talking to other writers to make you feel like you're not a proper writer
#(everyone is being very nice and it's interesting to hear about everyone's process)#it's just like. i don't really HAVE a process or think about flow or plot or character development#i just spit what's in my head down on the page and then usually read it over and make minor changes#and post#and like. it seems to work for me but also i feel like i don't know shit about like. the craft of being a writer or whatever#and like. i don't really want to? like i want to write well and improve but like#reading writing advice and stuff makes me want to scream (think that's a pda thing)#and I know there are certain things I *could* do to improve but im lazy and want instant gratification#i know if i take the time to slow down and spend more time editing in depth or whatever#i just WON'T. and then will never finish or post anything#anyway this is one of those things that feels like it's an autistic (possibly adhd) thing for me#but also other autistic/ADHD writers DON'T struggle so much with this stuff or actively enjoy it or w/e#and i know i know if you've met one autistic person you've met one autistic person#but it's just another thing that makes me feel like im failing at being a person#not just a neurotypical person but an autistic person as well..just failing at being a person#anyway this is fucking stupid and obvious validation bait or whatever so feel free to ignore#i just needed to vent#i should just not talk to people ever bc somehow it always makes me feel worse about myself#I'll shut up now
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abstractlesbian · 8 months
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Find someone slightly annoying but in really small harmless ways so I decide none of the behaviours are worth bringing up with them → realizing: hey, Im also annoying! solidarity! → realizing we have a lot in common and starting to bond → finding out other people find this person annoying and are vocal about it behind their back → finding out this person has ADHD like me that's (at least one reason) why we have all these traits in common → fear.
#trying to be as vague as possible even tho this is someone I know offline and no one involved follows me online#on one level I get it that relying someone who is forgetful and does things slower/differently than you can be frustrating#but like its a medical condition. and u dont need to know someones medical info to have some empathy instead of assuming malice/incompetence#i just found out they have adhd today but day one i was able to go 'wow i did not like the way they handled that but i dont think they were#being hurtful/careless we just handle this task differently. rhey didnt do anything wrong and i can let this go and adjust my expectations'#not to say im perfect and never ableist towards others. my first reaction to seeing traits i dislike in myself (from my disabilities)#in others is often to get annoyed and needing to adjust my thinking#i get annoyed with myself when I cant focus / cant be coherent or concise / cant finish tasks quickly etc#→ get annoyed sometimes when I see others doing that → realize thats not fair to them → realize thats not fair to myself#→ assume good intentions and find ways to communicate/collaborate better with them → get along better and maybe make a new friend!#sorry i am rambling#idk its scary seeing someone being disliked for adhd symptoms/traits that im mostly doing a good job of managing/hiding in this#social environment so far and knowing that could happen to me in the future#but im also like ready to have this persons back#me 🤝 them: prioritizing the wrong tasks and overexplaining things and struglging to get our points across#and not noticing when we talk too loud and forgetting tasks halfway thru etc#not to be that guy but : without love it canmot be seen!!!!#lifes so much better if u just assume ppl arent doing things a certain way to be annoying + let go of / adapt to the thing that are annoying#but not harmful#thats not exactly what without love it cant be seen means but thats one of the ways i apply it in life#just like dont assume malice. assume u dont have all the info. approach ppl/situations with empathy.#or youll make yourself more miserable needlessly#again like only for shit that's not harmful obv#i need to shut up and go to bed
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afniel · 5 months
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Maaaaaaaaaaaan, come on.
(the post has ended up in the tags btw. I am not changing this and I need you to understand that it is just me talking to myself semi-publicly)
#Nevi Writes#things said by a guy writing a thing he doesn't even intend to be writing and it's like 10k of words now. >:[#while that's true I do want to emphasize that nobody should get excited about it right now tho okay#because like it's just. idk. I feel very much like it could end up not worth pursuing anyway. it's just a little baby wip.#(when the fuck did my little baby wips get to be 1/4-1/2 the length of my previous 'finished' stories!! what the hell)#it just feels nice to make words tho. and it does have that kind of 'ah good to catch up with these guys again' vibe which is nice.#even if the break has once again been like. on the order of days to a week maybe. I'm so bad at this taking a break business suddenly. lel.#but I don't have anything much to say about it at this point#other than I'm debating inventing a reason that presidential elections would have been moved by a couple of years between now and 2212#what is it with me and having to be so damn precise with dates in this whole narrative. am I just mad that Capcom never tries?#(yes) (so mad)#(and 2212 would actually be an election year is the problem. I want time to have passed but I also want there to be a pres. election.)#(it's fine don't worry about it)#(this is how I decided that Blucifer got bload up and then replaced also. weird reliance on mashing up IRL things and fictional explosions)#(but it's fun isn't it? got that veneer of verisimilitude. I'm good at long words)#idk this is inevitable isn't it. but I'm going to keep playing like it's not. I think I need a little more space for this one mentally.#the first one just sort of fell out of my head fully assembled and the second one did that also but with different vibes#though it did actually take some cutting things and adjusting things to make it work which Failure to Compile did not#Failure to Compile was bizarrely effortless until the mad editing dash. Outcome Unpredictable was WORK#fun work at least! but in hindsight it was definitely more work to make it flow properly.#the real job for the 3th if it happens is gonna be wrapping up threads without dropping new ones in bc that's such a habit of mine now
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