#I never expected this blog to thrive so fast up to this

[lookingfts]

It's really cool to see how much you seem to be thriving on Tumblr! I love the prompt blog ☺️

Thank you! When I joined (about seven months ago, the time went by so fast!), I really didn't expect anything lol. Basically I had created a Tumblr years ago when I was in the Scorpion fandom, and for whatever reason never got past signing up and choosing the username. Then this year, some of the other Bridgerton writers were encouraging me and @rosesatdawn24 to set up accounts. I was like, sure, maybe five people will recognize me and interact. 😂

So yeah, I was pretty blown away when I started getting all these asks about my fics...I couldn't even say how many I've gotten, but I would venture somewhere between 700-1000. Absolutely nuts. I haven't been able to respond to all of them, but I always enjoy reading them! My last few multi-chapter fics have been heavily influenced by ideas from my followers, and I started @kanthonyprompts because there were genuinely more great prompts than I could ever hope to tackle myself. This has turned into a great community, and it just means the world to me that people want to engage with my writing this deeply.

[blueparadis]

❝ I CAN'T HELP IT ❞ + BACHIRA MEGURU ❪ playing ⌗10, ⌗11 & ⌗12 ❫─── via radio line ❛anatomy of emotions ❜〳 from this is what ____ feels like !⠀

[ content and themes ] :: abo au + modern au, f!omega!reader, pov!bachira, slice of life, exs to lovers, mutual pinning, flirting, fast burn,angst and comfort, silent confessions, fluff , $mut descriptions; word count— 2k // [ synopsis ] :: After a whirlwind of highschool years, Bachira trips over an old flame and this time he is not afraid to get hurt no matter how many times he falls. // [ notes ] :: this is for my beloved dee @semisgroupie via snow’s valentine gift exchange ( @suyacho ). just wanna say that I've never been so happy with the results of a lottery ;› ß’read by cherry <;3 ( @cherrykamado ) // [ tag index ] :: for blog navigation ; event masterlist is linked in title. also available in my ao3.

Break-ups are never easy. They tend to do more damage than we expect, than we could ever do to ourselves. Humans say that falling in love is the most beautiful feeling. It would never let hope die,however weak it is. It would never let you weep alone. No matter how much you trip and hurt yourself, you still manage to be up on your feet again to follow them everywhere till the last breath. Love is eternal, they say. They never say how to fall out of love. Humans claim that they fall in love only once; true love happens only once unlike such animals. 

Such is the theory in this world where alphas, betas and omegas exist along with humans. Not only that, but they are actually thriving well, that is, the prospect of cohabitation has become more flourishing than before.In fact, the head representative of such inhumans claims that within a century , there might not be any existence of humans.

Bachira agrees. He agrees with the theory of love, not the animalistic part. He agrees, if he falls, he will fall so hard that he would not be able to pick himself up, at least he thought he wouldn't. His first break- up at least taught him how he was so not in love with y/n. People tend to miss their partner after break-ups, but he never missed her, not even once. Sure, there was this unsettling feeling at the corner of his heart but it faded with time. 

Sometimes, he even thought that there was not enough love between her and himself so he would miss her, after she was gone like the wind. And now she is standing in front of the list of the candidates that have cleared for higher studies. Bachira did too. He can see his name in the list of dominant alpha males. He can also see her name and her feeble stature at ease amidst the crowd. No doubt she is a human, must be, otherwise what kind of omega would not be able to detect the presence of an alpha?

Bachira starts to walk towards her hoping she would recognize his scent, turn around if he released enough pheromones but he halted, he had to. How could he not when she ran away with tears in her eyes to the nearest restroom. Was she not happy about her selection? Did she see his name too? Who on earth would cry if they had cleared scholarship exams? Humans. Twisted humans.

It has been a week since I saw y/n on campus. I don’t even know her particulars and not that I need to but it would be nice to have some info on her so that I could avoid her at all costs. She was the first person I have ever dated. There were a few after her but it wasn’t like I imagined. I didn’t miss her like I was supposed to miss after a ‘break-up’, I didn’t try to contact her or anything like that after she left due to her father’s job transfer. Now that I think about it, it’s pretty much ;ame reason for a break-up. We didn’t particularly talk after we parted. . . wait, does that mean we never broke up? That’s even more lame. Fuck fuck fuck why does she have to go to same college as I do. It could have been any other college in this gigantic city. . . oh fuck! I hate this, I hate this so much.

Bachira does not have any idea how to react if he were to cross paths with her, how to act like an ‘ex’ and hence he was always on guard. Whenever he could feel her presence he would always resort to detours rather than the normal shorter paths. Part of him felt horrible about himself , and another part was happy that she was coming to college, studying , living her day without being aware of her ex’s presence. Must be nice to be a human, to be so clueless about the raw edges of emotions. While he had his own emotional waves to avoid Y/N had her own inner turmoil to come at peace with. Not only did she crack the scholarship exams but also she was identified as an omega. The worst part was she came to know when she saw her name in the list of omegas who are selected for a pass in higher studies. Throughout her whole life she was taught how to talk like a human, behave like a human, feel like a human and now she is one of them now; a creature of the wild. Even though her parents were able to accept it quickly she took a few weeks to come in terms with it. Why was that? 

Her mother is human but her father is not. He is an omega with dominant genes. After first, y/n thought that her parents had a cute love story, just like one of those fairy tales— beauty and the beast. It felt nice. It felt perfect. She wanted it for herself, she wanted to experience one such fairy-like love story, at least once in her lifetime but it ended when she saw her father yell at her mom, so loud, so harsh that she almost cried. Y/N tried to overlook it as ‘just one-time’ but arguments became regular after that. Home was not home anymore. 

But the sun shone upon Y/N again when the family was blessed with another child, a boy, an omega. She was happy that her mom and dad did not fight anymore but the fear in her heart never went away. And, hence when her father had an order of job transfer she left without saying goodbye to her boyfriend who was as warm as the sun. In her defense, she did not have her personal cell phone yet, nor had a chance to see him at school. 

It was during summer vacation when they left the city without any trace of good memories.

And what are the odds that after a year they would bump into each other after a sultry summer afternoon? “Woah!”, y/n blurted, noticing that her ex was playing soccer with a bunch of guys from her class. 

Thereafter, each Monday she used to sit to watch him play. He has not changed, not a bit. Just a little here and there on appearances. He was taller than before, had a piercing just above his cupid’s bow and had a short ponytail; it seemed like he would let his hair grow.

And, each Monday whenever Bachira could not sense her scent anymore, could not feel her presence anymore he would look back to check and watch her walking through the corridor till she was out of sight. He even got hit by the ball for being distracted but that’s okay. He could let it slide. 

Y/N missed two Mondays in a row and his head was everywhere but not in the game anymore. He could muster up enough courage to pass by her classroom. He almost locked on the probability of not seeing her again, expecting her seat to be empty. Four more steps and he will pass through the back-door of her class room.

one.

two. 

three.

four.

The poor fruit juice can was a victim of Bachira’s anger. He never felt so betrayed before, not even when y/n left him without any word or explanation. But the second he passed that back door he was still like a sculpture witnessing the greatest miracle that life has to offer. She was looking outside through the door, with her lips having an upward crescent of mischief that made Bachira lock eyes with her. The bell rang. It was lunch break. All the students were walking out of the classroom, running through the corridor yet only two souls remain still. 

All this time. She knew. She knew that her past was slowly trailing back to her. 

Days rolled on, nights crept in but Bachira could not forget that face of hers, amidst the joyful unified screams of the students y/n was sitting in her place with a smile on her face. He even asked if they could have lunch together or not but all she did was to nod, part her lips to speak yet did not say a word before joining the crowd. 

Thereafter, bachira’s toilet breaks became frequent. He felt like he was in love, again but he knew it better than anyone that it was ‘just a phase’, maybe infatuation or a crush. There is no way he would let an old flame rekindle when there was no affection to begin in falling for her. Yes, sure he liked her but maybe not enough to have her as girlfriend again. But he could tell something was different, something about her felt different. It’s her scent. It’s different than before. 

“Nice play.”, Isagi yelled as he shared a high-five with Bachira. He thought of staying back even after practice since his parents are gonna be home late, it would be better if he dedicated some of his stamina to soccer. Everyone was getting their belongings together, changing dress and as such. 

After a while all the commotion faded. Bachira was all alone in the locker room, the slow breeze soothing his muscles while he kept his head bowed, eyes closed trying to recharge as quickly as possible. There was a feeble sound, someone was humming. Curiosity over took him and when he figured the source it amused him. It was a girl humming and moving her hips, probably practicing her steps as cheerleader, at least her outfit suggested so. 

She closed the cupboard, turned around and almost jolted at the presence of another person, Bachira. He took a few steps towards her. Two to be precise, she backed away with two short steps feeling her back being pressed against the metal locker.

“Let me go.”, y/n tartly responded trying to avert his eyes.

It was as if he was under reflex when he thought for a response. “Kiss me and I’ll.”, Bachira boldly whispered and waited.

Two things began to happen simultaneously . One : y/n slowly began to lose control over her pheromones; she was new at this. It would have been easier if she were introduced to this way of living since childhood. It takes more effort to teach a grown man to behave than a child. It’s a reboot of her whole being within just a few weeks, certainly there would be cases where it would become faulty.

Two : Bachira was starting to feel impatient. He closed the gap with quick steps entering the room and locking the door with a loud thud with his foot. He was already tired from the practice but never before he felt this uneasy, this restless.

“What’re you doing?”she asked, squinting her eyes at him. There was no sound except the dull drilling noise of the fan. Bachira's lips parted to respond, “I . . . —- but his answer ended with his lips on hers. It was a short, dry kiss, just grazing of supple skins against one another. Bachira opened his eyes when he felt a strong push on his chest. Instinct took him over as he grabbed the edge of the bench otherwise he would have knocked his head on the ground. 

“Fuck. . .”, his head felt heavy, vision a little blurred. He blinked a few times before getting up on his feet. He saw her bags and earphones on the ground. There was a bunch of noise in the corridor, giggles and talks of girls. Before anyone could spot any trace of disaster, he grabbed her belongings and left the site immediately.

It was a cold wintry evening when Bachira fell in love again, tasting the tanginess of his first love. He was wrong about so many things. They were still not over, not like this. Their love was just in brilliant sparks back then and now it turned into a wildfire.

 —

@tokyometronetwork

[megpricephotography]

So I'm thinking about a dog in 2024 and I am absolutely in love with border collies.. I know thier energy is insane.. This is my question, do you walk everyday, of course you do, how far do you walk? What would I be in for? Do they bark often? I also enjoy black Labradors.. Your blog is quite amazing.. 🙏🐕

That’s wonderful you might be getting a dog next year! Whichever breed you decide on, I hope you find yourself a fantastic companion & enjoy many happy years of adventures together :) Thanks, I'm so glad you enjoy my blog!

I’ll answer your 2nd question 1st: barking. Yes!! Some are louder than others... but most border collies like the sound of their own voice. They'll likely be more vocal than a labrador!

Now... exercising. Border collies are energetic. They need to run regularly & are always eager for a walk! Like most breeds, BCs are happiest (& easiest to live with!) when they're able to combine using their brains, with getting physical excise.

Many pet dogs, even "high energy" breeds, are able to fulfil a lot of their need for mental/physical exercise by going on regular walks... Walks where the dog is most left to its own devices but has the opportunity to run & fully engage its senses, exploring & interacting with the environment. If the owner wants to get more involved & play with the dog too, then great! However, if the owner is tired after a stressful day, then they can mostly mentally switch-off & relax in nature, while their pet has fun & tires itself out!

Unfortunately (& I think it's part of why they have a rep for making hyper/crazy pets), border collies are often pretty terrible at exercising themselves on this sort of walk - where they have to occupy themselves independently!

BCs want owner participation!! They want YOU mentally switched-on & involved in their activities - exploring the wider world is only as interesting as you make it! If they aren't kept busy herding livestock for you, or doing sports like agility, then a BC needs you to come up with other forms of entertainment/exercise, which you can do together. It doesn't need to be complicated, or involve you doing lots of hard physical exertion - but keeping a pet BC well-exercised & contented will take some mental effort, on your part.

They'll often benefit far more from a slightly shorter outing, where your focus is on them & making a real effort to engage & interact - rather than a much longer walk, where you're present but disengaged & expecting the dog to exercise itself.

For some people, the prospect of a pet who demands lots of engagement & interaction, could be more work than an active dog who "just" needs regular long hikes! However, if you like the idea of having a HIGHLY interactive dog - who thrives on doing stuff with you, then BCs can make wonderful, engaging, fun companions.

This got way too long... below are examples of how I keep Flynn "busy" & help him burn off mental/physical energy outdoors! My health isn't very good - I can't go very far & never go fast but Flynn doesn't mind... as long as we're interacting.

All pics below were taken a couple of days ago, in 2 adjacent fields.

Left to occupy himself, Flynn could spend hours out in these wide-open spaces & he'd still be bouncy/bored later. Not because he's insanely energetic - no, the daft dog simply wouldn’t DO anything tiring! If I ignore Flynn, he accepts it & potters along the path... & that’s the problem! He's an athletic, intense dog & he just potters! He's happy but barely using up any energy!! If I want Flynn tired, I have to give him reasons to use his body & - more importantly - his mind!

I take the part of shepherd & sheep & get Flynn herding me across the fields. We play hide-&-seek in the woods. He does tricks & balances on things. I take photos as it's another chance to interact. We might play search games too - I make him wait, go hide a toy/treats, then send him out to find them.  

A "game"(?) that's developed over time, is that Flynn loves to find & show me interesting stuff in the environment. Stuff he will not play with alone, but massively enjoys if I join in: piles of leaves, mole hills, tree stumps, good ground for digging! The more animated I am in reacting, the more enthused Flynn gets & the more he’ll exercise - racing way ahead to find the next fun thing & the next! He enjoys it if I show him stuff too!

Anyway, here he is in the 1st field, lying motionless but focused, as he waited for me to arrive & investigate the puddle he’d "discovered". It IS an excellent puddle.

Here he is, extremely excited at the prospect of supervising me stepping into the puddle & making a splash: 

Flynn's holding a nasty soggy chunk of grass because this was such a thrilling moment, he felt he needed to have something to bite on, or he might be tempted to nip my boot!!

Here he is in the 2nd field, intent on stalking closer, because I’d crouched down & just me doing that is EXCITING: 

I crouched to look for fossils. Didn’t spot any, so I grabbed random pebbles. Flynn finds it genuinely fascinating to watch me choose, pick up, examine & toss small rocks away… He'll eagerly "help" me do this, for as long as I'll let him. He darts after each stone, as I chuck it away, then quickly rush back to watch me choose another. Here he is, concentrating very hard indeed, on a vital Pebble Examination:  

Despite not going far, Flynn was mentally (& physically) tired out by the time we got home! Clearly, he'd done important work: herding, hiding, puddle-finding & pebble-inspecting ;-) Once Flynn's exercised, he'll happily sleep for hours on end.

[botanikos]

I haven't found a very articulate way of putting any of this, so bear with me if it seems chaotic. Much of what I'm about to talk about is very canon/in alignment with what we know and come to learn about Stolas, especially with The Full Moon & Apology Tour, but I am also going into length because of the relevance this all has with my portrayal at times. Apologies if you choose to read this and find it an absolute fucking MESS because I will do a lot of jumping and back-tracking.

This post also acts as a sort of "Do not ask me who I blame, I will point both fingers at Stolas and Blitz respectively. It takes two to Tango." Neither of them is exempt from the hurtful things they said and did. I said what I said.

I mentioned a while back and in my rules that this blog would include an exploration of emotional themes, including depression and anxiety. And yes, I will discuss and explore the abuse from Stella on occasion too. That being said, I want to take a minute and just let it really sink in that the Stolas we first come to know is such an actor, a (sometimes unwilling) participant in his very own play (life). He thrives in the theatrics he puts on and the telenovelas he watches because they are how he processes and copes.

Is Stolas a hypersexual innuendo slinging, touch-starved, love-bombing, thespian bird-nerd? Absolutely. That's who he is to the very heart and core (and more, but that isn't the point here). But I also think these elements are what he puts forward as a sort of armor. He makes sweeping motions and behaves a certain way to appear perfectly well kept and a little obnoxious. If it looks intentional, no one can/will know the truth. And that truth is that he is hurting. He is falling apart. Has been for some time, and especially is after The Full Moon & Apology Tour episodes. The truth is: he is either not enough, or is always far too much.

Now, reiterating that Stolas has A LOT to unpack, unlearn, and understand about his own actions and internalized conceptions. He has done a great deal of harm to Blitz and likely countless others, even if he didn't realize it at the time.

But in The Full Moon during WHEN I SEE HIM, Stolas literally mentions how nervous he is and that anything else is literally a disguise.

"I'll believe him and not the voice that says I'm not enough."

He actively begins to panic upon the realization that his medication is out. Stolas climbs into the refrigerator and says "I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad when I see him tonight."

To take this a step further, Stolas even equates himself to a monster with the line "Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?"

He comes to terms with the fact that what they had going on was wrong, that he took advantage of a situation, of Blitz. And while Stolas harbored feelings for him for quite some time, it's obvious he never truly committed to the idea or possibility of a genuine relationship with him until much later (arguably, maybe, after the embarrassment for them both at Ozzie's).

So now we are witnessing Stolas unraveling. We are seeing him more thoroughly, for who he truly is, and the negative and flawed qualities he bears.

Feelings of inadequacy / insecurity

Anxiety

Impulsivity

Perfectionism

Selfishness

At a young age, we see a very eager-to-please and curious Stolas. He's excitable and even appears quite happy! But the crushing weight of his status and position quickly fell down fast when he was shown a picture of a young Stella, and told he would be marrying her. Basically, his entire life was lined up with purpose and expectations for him. Despite that, he still grew to be quite a character and I like to think he still catered to his individuality in some ways. This also supports his impulsivity, as a means to give some semblance of control back to himself. He very much acts in the moment and before fully fully analyzing anything, which brings us to The Full Moon, in which he's had time to realize and ruminate, and is now in a sort of distress about it all coming forward.

Now, I personally headcanon that even before Stella and Stolas started spending more time together that he already dealt with blows to his self-esteem and image. He was respected by name and rank alone, but not entirely liked. He also received quite a bit of open criticism and ridicule for his interests and mannerisms. Thus, he is far more comfortable in the seclusion of his home, surrounded by books and artifacts than the shimmering aristocracy of parties. There were times, however, where he could make a flourishing fool of himself in their favor, or charm people into small bursts of engagement, but he wore himself out quite quickly, and would have to find a way to retreat. Once Stella came into the picture, it was much easier to find these events loathsome in their entirety as he endured open harassment and personal jabs at even the most private of matters from her.

There were times during his childhood, their engagement, and their marriage in which Stolas dealt with the pressing weight of inadequacy. These feelings took the forefront as he assumed he simply wasn't enough of a partner, enough of a Goetia, enough of an astronomer, enough of a son, enough of anything, really. Nothing he ever did pleased her, and he was never quite sure where he fell in line with his father. So as time went on, he just cautiously assumed that he couldn't possibly live up to anyone's standards, regardless of their position in his life. It's true, he thinks highly of himself and of his abilities, but none of that is structurally sound where it matters most.

Stolas is selfish. This falls in line with the impulsivity, naturally, but he is absolutely selfish. He is always seeking attention, especially from Blitz and is inconsiderate of his boundaries in the beginning. This is especially present in just how often he seeks Blitz out, his continued sexual ramblings over the phone in the first episode, and the list goes on. I do not think his selfishness is done with malice, but it's no excuse, either. The initial transactional exchange between them is also not just selfish, but manipulative. And he comes to realize this! It's phenomenal development!

But it's still a fatal flaw, and as Stolas becomes more aware of himself and his own negative traits, it creates a sort of spiral. Returning us back to the center of it all with his feelings of inadequacy. Because of all of these flaws, because of everything he has said or done, even in taking that leap by freeing Blitz of that exchange and expressing his love for him, Stolas still doesn't believe himself worthy of Blitz's love, or anyone else's for that matter.

You know what I'm just ending this whole thing here coz I feel like I'm gonna go on a huge tangent and I'm not making any sense. I'll explain things in headcanons and asks if anyone's ever curious or when I wanna explore those moods. Lmao

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[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hi there! :) first of all I wanted to say that your blog is amazing! You made me fall in love with RinHaru/HaruRin all over again and even harder than before. (I want to add I was in highschool when I watched it 1st time and here I am 8 years later with all those feelings all over again) I thought this ship was only my wishful thinking tbh… too good to be true and I was kinda afraid to dream about them as canon. But here you are with whole your knowledge and facts telling us „there is nothing to be afraid child, it happened here and here and here ect.” And now im a believer 🥲 thank you for that, i mean it.. Also I ve got a question(s): 1. Where are you gonna watch part 2? It wont be aired in any cinema in my country, I have no info where it could be streamed.. is there any chance I could watch it on the premiere day? (Im wiling to pay rly) 🥺 2. Arent you a little scared to see in this new movie something like Haru berfriending with Albert instead of solving his problem with Rin? I really wish for them to happy ending but cant help be a little wary about this.. 3. I was digging in you blog rly to find more and more things about them being canon, and im still so surprised there is so many content (OFFICIAL content may I add), I also read your ffs and here is my last question. Are you planning on writing something like their whole history behind the scenes? Like you ve got this all knowledge, its just asking for being written like one big love story… im sure it wont be easy and all, and im not asking you to (god forbid) im just wondering if you ever considered this? (Curiosty) ~thank you for reading this message 💕

Omggggggg hello 😭😭😭 Thank you so so much for such lovely ask and taking your time to write all this holy shiiit thats the sweetest thing, it made my day!!!!! I'm gonna cry fr! AAAAAAAAAAAAA and I'm so happy I made you fall even more for them too hehe that was the evil plan, so you could suffer along with me ;)))

1. Ah I also live in a place where such things will be never be shown in theaters :( Same as with part 1 I'm at first gonna wait for my rh friends from other countries to share the experience, then someone will sneak me an illegal theater footage in DMs, then I'll wait for official release without itching too much lmao. Sadly that's the only option xD It worked so far with p1 :)

2. Not really, bc I'm 100% sure its gonna be a very very happy ending, since I mean, Free is very obvious in this aspects, its all about friendship and love prevailing, along with joy for swimming, freedom of life and love and etc. It never disappoints in that aspect and pretty classic. And since its the grand finale and seeing what they're doing, whats the 2nd part called, all the promotional things and everything, it for sure has to be a letter of love for the whole journey (p1 was already), so I'm not worried about Albert really. I mean, as I've said before, he's not even as much of a character as he is a tool to explain Haru's internal struggles, since this Albert metaphor was used even for Haru's childhood. He is literally there to push forward the trauma and make it all resurface, otherwise it would've stayed hidden. The whole s3 and the 1st part of the movie was the base to dig into the rinharu problem that was hanging there since the very beginning, so there's no way the ending isn't the resolve.

The only worry I have really is about it not be... satisfying enough, to say. Because for obvious reasons, I have exteremely high hopes now after certain things and I have no intention of lowering them and the end of april is very soon, so I'm a little bit worried xD But I really hope they'll go all out since I don't see what they have to lose really lol

So like I'm absolutely sure the ending is gonna be very happy, but.. is it gonna be happy for my ass? Idk haha. I mean, to me for Haru and Rin to be truly happy, they have to be together, so... soo,,, xD (I'm here ready for the disappointment haha I'm kidding but u know what I mean).

Rationally speaking I'm pretty sure Rin is gonna get his medal, Haru would defend the honor of the water and clear it from Alberto, everyone (but mainly Rin) will play a role into bringing him back and his joy of swimming back by telling how much he means to them and what his swimming brought into everyone's lives, Rin will prove that he's not going anywhere etc etc. and all is gonna be fine. But I still think that like.. I dont wanna be that person, but I really think that after everything and their dreams of getting there, they deserve to be together together. This whole show's implication is that from that one moment in life they just simply couldn't be happy without each other. So no swimming, medals or anything would satisfy their soul really. Not to mention that it really reminds me of one canon couple that had the same problem and one also had this trauma about the other one leaving, but as soon as they started dating, it was all fine and he was like "well now that you're mine, u can go whatever lol".

I just never felt that for Haru it was only about his abandonment issues since his Rin problem prevails over everyone else even tho he's not technically the closest person to him. That means its just mainly not about that. Bc if you see other examples of him mooving on from someone, it's suddenly all okay. Like first time Rin left they didn't even know each other for that long to be that affected just cause his issue, if you know what I mean xD So like... the happy ending for him would be... you know...

And I just think it'd be super cool if they finally brought to a conclusion their point about the main metaphor of the show of what it means for these two "to be free".

3. :O I haven't even considered it, honestly mainly bc I can't call myself much of a writer, bc those fics are usually smth like "GOD PLS SMB I CAN:T WAIT I NEED SMTH FIX THIS" LMao brain won't calm down things, I'm not sure I can actually sit down and write like long quality shit and be very dedicated. Although out of all the ships I have, it certainly be of of the 2 I'd actually consider doing it haha. Maybe... maybe tho depends on how it ends really, I mean it'd be cool to put all the novelization and all their stuff and mix it with hot shit xD But buuut imagine how freaking looong it would be.... all their summers, weird trips, holidays... all of the... daaaang I'd die putting it all together lol. But god do I wish it's be like book series too. We'll see, we'll see how april goes :D

And again thank you so much, I was smiling so hard reading your message and then I saw that you've made an incredible art to my fic and I'm just ASDFHGFDSA DEAD RIP MY HEART! I'm gonna go brag about it now! ❤️❤️❤️

P.S. Also it'd be really nice to see a glimpse of how Haruka Nanase is without a cloud of impending doom of "Rin Matsuoka soon will leave" over his head. I mean, it's been almost 10 years and we never once saw his without it xD. It'd be really cool to make like in Eternal Summer some maybe tiny flashforward at the very end, where its all in the right place :)

[littlewinter1917]

Groupie Love

Chapter One ✿ Touch Down

My blog is 18+ only. Minors DNI. 🔞 Don’t repost my work anywhere.

Series Masterlist

Series Summary: Your best friend’s band has been taking off, ever since you’ve both started uni. But when you come back from a semester abroad, you find yourself confronted with both: Your lingering feelings for your best friend Eddie, and unexpected ones for their new drummer, Billy; someone you also have quite the past with…

Words: 6.9k

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader, Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Chapter Summary: You finally come home from your semester abroad to reunite with your best friends. Yet there's more than just your lingering feelings for Eddie that await you, as you're faced with the sudden appearance of a guy you never expected to ever see again.

Chapter Warnings: Fluff. Secret mutual pining and a pinch of angst. Swearing, teasing and some suggestive talks. Very brief mentions of Billy's past abuse. Idiots in denial about their feelings and some longing.

A/N: In order for this story to make sense: None of the Vecna and Mindflayer events happened; so Heather and Chrissy are still very much alive and thriving (as they should!! 😡)

Also every main character in this story is above the age of 18! They're all an appropriate college age, just to make this very clear!!

The first one of your friends you notice is Heather.

She’s hard to miss with her dark brown hair thrown into a dramatic messy bun that’s flopping around vigorously on the top of her head as she speaks, and the bright red jumper she’s wearing certainly makes her stand out even more.

She’s saying something to the slightly smaller person standing next to her, and that’s your other friend you immediately notice: Chrissy. 

The blonde’s dressed in a soft pastel color, holding a little sign close to her chest, her eyes scanning the arrival area of the airport repeatedly while listening to whatever Heather’s currently talking about.

She’s also the one who notices you first, her eyes lighting up instantly, before raising her sign up in excitement, pointing it in your direction, smile bright on her pretty face.

God, how you’ve missed them. 

You decide to quicken the pace of your steps, as you push your little baggage cart as fast as you possibly can, without threatening to injure all the different pairs of busy feet scurrying around you. 

Which, to be honest, isn’t particularly fast. 

But that doesn’t really matter, because both of your close friends manage to run up to you excitedly, and it’s Heather that engulfs you into a big hug first.

She can’t help the little squeal that leaves her lips as her arms wrap tightly around you, and neither can you before she starts swaying you both from side to side. 

“I’m so happy you’re back!” She states, voice overflowing with joy.

“How was the flight? How was the-“

She’s interrupted rudely by some careless businessman, who’s just bumped into the two of you, before hurrying off without even a second glance or a single worded apology, and you both give him a death glare. 

“Hey! Watch where you going!” Heather calls out after him, but he’s either too far off to hear or to care. 

Asshole.

But the small scowl on Heather’s face is quickly replaced by another smile as she turns her attention back to you. 

“You look good!” She observes, and you can’t help but feel a little shy under her gaze and at her words. Because after a nine-hour flight you feel anything but. 

“She sure does, bur could you stop hogging her, Heath? I want to hug her too!”

You don’t need to see Chrissy as she says those words to know that there’s a small pout forming on her lips, one she’s probably not even aware of doing, and it makes it even cuter. 

“Fine, fine,” Heather agrees reluctantly, detangling herself from you with a sigh.

And as soon as your out of Heather’s arms you find yourself back in Chrissy’s. 

“Missed you so much,” she mumbles, her voice a little softer than Heather’s, and you mutter a hushed, “Missed you more,” back. 

“Impossible,” Chrissy huffs, and you smile into her shoulder. 

You really, really did miss those two. 

In fact, you’ve missed all of your friends, but especially your dear roommates: Heather, Chrissy, and Robin. 

And Eddie, of course, except he isn’t your roommate, and you try hard not to notice his current absence. 

“Fuck, what exactly did you bring back from Europe, huh?” Heather’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts and back to reality.

Raising your head out of the crook of Chrissy’s neck, you watch your brunette friend with an amused smile, as she tries to pull on of your suitcases from the baggage cart, but fails miserably. 

“Don’t bother,” you state with a laugh, “I needed like two guys to get that bitch on the cart.” 

“Geez, seriously?” Heather scoffs, hands on her hips in that typical mom-pose she must have started to pick up from Steve in your absence. 

It’s endearing. 

“Yeah,” you emphasize with a nod, arms still wrapped around Chrissy, because neither one of you wants to let go first.

As always. 

“Okay, so how are we going to get that thing off then?” Heather questions, and for a split second your thoughts drift back to Eddie. 

“I’m so sorry! I won’t be able to make it.” His apologetic voice still rings in your ears. 

He had told you about it on a phone call two days ago. Those were exciting news for him, really. Not the part about how he won’t make it to the airport to pick you up, of course, but the reasoning behind it. 

“We’ll be playing at the Blitz! can you believe it?! The fucking Blitz wants us to perform for the night, last minute!”

The excitement in his voice had been so incredibly clear, even through the phone, that it was almost palatable in your room despite being thousands and thousands of miles away from him, on the other side of the world. 

“The goddamn Blitz, that’s like our chance!”

Eddie had repeated, voice just as excited as before, and the smile on your face was bright as you congratulated him, saying he deserved it. 

Because he did. 

The Blitz being a rather popular bar downtown; some might even say the most popular bar; at least when it comes to the scene of the college kids crowd. It’s a bar known for incredibly good music and live acts, as well as that one place where quite a few popular music groups have first been discovered. 

Getting to play there had been a dream come true for Eddie, so of course, you were beyond happy for him, even if the silent realization, that he wouldn’t make it to the airport stung ever so slightly.

But you didn’t want to focus on it then, like you don’t want to focus on it now, because you really want to be the most supportive friend that you can be.

And besides that, you’ll get to see Eddie at his concert tonight.

So, who cares that he didn’t manage to make it to the airport? 

You do, you silently have to admit to yourself feeling somewhat ashamed. 

You know it’s foolish and slightly selfish, but there had been a little, secret hope buried and growing somewhere deep within your chest, that he’d show up anyways.

That he might steal away in between all of the preparations for this night’s concert, to join Heather, and Chrissy in their excited airport pick up commotion.

But he didn’t. 

And even though you have no real right or reason to be disappointed, you still are, and it hurts. 

Because you had foolishly hoped he’d come anyways, yet here you are without him.

And you can’t even blame him for the pang in your heart because you knew, because he told you.

Because he had even asked you if you were okay with this.

And of course, you were. 

What else were you supposed to say? 

No?! 

No, I don’t care about your maybe once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity to play with your band at the coolest venue in town? Come pick me up instead? 

Of course not! 

Because you love him, and you want to see him thrive and succeed and-

Wait.

You love him? 

Okay, that just came out wrong.

You don’t love him.

You just care about him a little more than maybe the rest of your friends, but that’s a totally normal and Platonic thing to do, right?!

So, why does his absence still sting so much then?

Chrissy notices the pained look that crosses your face briefly, and the hold she still has on you tightens in a comforting manner.

“You know, he feels really bad about not being able to come.” She states softly, her green eyes searching yours, and you sigh. 

“I know.”

You also don’t want to be ungrateful for your two best friends who did show up, driving out to greet you and pick you up from the airport. 

And so, the smile you give Chrissy isn’t forced or fake; it’s earnest, because you really are happy to be reunited again with her and Heather, and the slightly bitter taste of disappointment is quickly swallowed down, disappearing somewhere in your stomach.

Gone for now, but not completely forgotten.

The aftertaste is going to rise up again at some point, but not right now, and that’s what matters.

“Oh! I completely forgot!” Chrissy exclaims suddenly, before handing you the little sign she’s been holding on to tightly. 

“Here!” She states, proudness clear in her voice, and you curiously take the piece of paper from her hands. 

Welcome home, Buttercup, it states in neat, glittery letters, but it isn’t just a welcoming sign.

It’s a welcoming card. 

One that you’re able to fold up, and you can’t help but smile at what greets you inside.

There are little welcoming notes written from all of your friends. 

There’s Chrissy’s unmistakable handwriting, and Heather's, of course. 

But there’s also Robin’s and Nancy’s.

The first one is unable to come because she’s a vital part of Eddie’s Band; the second one is cursed with an unskippable journalism class. 

There’s Steve’s handwriting and Argyle’s, as well as Jonathan’s and of last but not least Eddie’s. 

Wait, that’s not true.

There’s even a ninth one, you don’t really recognize. 

Can’t wait to meet you! It states, in a scribbly fashion, signed with the name Billy.

You know that name. It’s the new drummer guy that joined Eddie’s Band Hellfire roughly two months ago, after one particular big dispute with the previous drummer Jakob. 

You never really liked Jakob, he had always been a bit of an entitled douche, and so you’re quite excited to meet the new replacement tonight.

Because he joined the band after you had already left for Europe, you never had the pleasure of meeting him, relying only on the hearsay from your friends.

Eddie’s especially. He had been telling you a bit more about the new guy, voice always switching from amazement to exasperation at the thought of him.

“He’s really talented, but he’s also a lot.” You remember Eddie stating with a sigh. “I’m not sure you’ll like him, but he’s way better than Jake by a landslide.”

You don’t doubt that, but you still want to see it for yourself. 

Your eyes flicker over the notes once more as you feel yourself getting choked up and a little teary. 

“Thank you,” you mumble, voice emotional, “that’s such a sweet idea.”

“Well, we all felt a little bit guilty about not being able to show up at the airport as your little harem of love.” Chrissy jokes, making you and Heather laugh.

You pull her into another tight hug, whispering little thank you’s against her skin, before you move over to Heather, doing the same. 

You really, really missed them both a lot you realize once more; and as the three of you walk towards the exit of the airport, you and Chrissy pushing the cart, laughing, while Heather’s sitting proudly on top of the heavy suitcases ordering directions and driving instructions like a royalty being paraded around, you feel a warm feeling flutter inside of your chest.

You’re home again. 

And as fun as your months abroad in Europe had been, you’re glad to be back home.

Back home with your friends.

The drive down to your shared apartment is filled with avid laughter, giggles, and excited stories that you didn’t get to share before.

After being away for months, you’re eager to be up to date with everything again.

Of course, you all called and had spoken to each other via phone, but those calls were incredibly expensive, and so for the most part only the biggest and most exciting stories would get exchanged, and the little, less pressing ones simply had to wait till you were all reunited. 

And so, Heather fills you in on that new good-looking doctor from one of her nursing classes, who’s apparently so hot he had some students faint in class multiple times.

And Chrissy tells you about the kids in her new school class, that she gets to supervise as a more practical part of her endeavor to become an elementary school teacher.

They tell you about how Steve failed one of his classes again, and how Argyle and Eddie are currently trying to grow some rather unusual cannabis plants, but somehow keep failing. Either watering them too much, or too little.

They tell you that Robin’s currently seeing a new girl she met through the music scene she’s involved with, and after meeting her both, they’ve come to the assessment that she’s apparently the absolute cutest. 

“You’re definitely going to love her,” Heather swoons, “She has the cutest Bambi eyes, and she can actually sing not like-“

“Tami Thompson!” The three of you exclaim at the same time, giggling.

God, it had taken Robin a while to get over her, and you’re glad to hear she’s apparently doing better now. 

“Maybe you’ll meet her at the concert tonight,” Heather exclaims excitedly from the backseat, hands clapping together for emphasis.

“Oh, I’d love to!” You honestly state.

“And you’ll finally meet Billy!” Chrissy adds, “I’m really curious what you’ll think of him! You’ve never got to actually meet him, right?”

Her question is paired with a quick glance over to you from behind the steering wheel, before focusing her gaze back on the road again. 

“Not that I know off, no.” You say earnestly.

“He joined Hawkins High right after you’d left and moved away,” Heather summarizes.

“God, he used to be such an asshole back then. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still somewhat of a pain in the ass, but it’s nowhere near as bad.”

“Yeah,” Chrissy agrees with a nod, “It’s funny that you never met though.”

You hum, as you look out the window, taking in the familiar scenery again. 

“I think Eddie and Steve mentioned him sometimes in passing back then, when we were still in high school, I mean.” You explain, eyes still transfixed on the passing houses outside. 

Your family had moved from the West Coast to Indiana right after you had finished elementary school. You had started middle school with Chrissy and immediately made friends with her. With her and Eddie, of course, who was a grade or two above you then. 

You consider both of them your absolute closest of friends, and growing up together for so long only sealed that incredibly tight bond. 

By the time you started high school, you were still completely inseparable from those two, even when you found yourself exploring different social circles.

Eddie had started a D&D club; you joined the orchestra and made quick friends with Robin and Steve, and Chrissy became part of the cheerleading gang.

But after two years at Hawkins High, right before starting your junior year, your parents had to move again, this time to the much bigger city of South Bend.

So, you left Hawkins and your previous school behind, but not your friends.

Not really, anyways.

You stayed in avid contact for the next two years, calling and visiting each other any time you could.

And by the time college rolled around you all found yourself reunited again. 

It’s a bigger circle of friends now, but you love them all the same, with the exception of Eddie maybe.

He’s someone you’ve had a terrible crush on ever since starting high school.

But unfortunately, those feelings are almost as strong as the denial you find yourself in anytime one of your close friends points it out or brings it up. 

You try hard not to like him like that.  

And you had actually, secretly, hoped, that your time away from him would clear your mind and your heart from at least some of those lingering and interfering feelings, but to no avail. 

Each time he’d called you while on your stay in Europe, your heart would pick up its pace at the mere sound of his voice, and the gentleness that slipped through whenever he was talking to you.

Being away from him only made you miss him more as those persistent feelings simply grew stronger, and you hate yourself a little bit for it, because he’s your closest confidant and there’s nothing you’re more terrified of than losing him. 

It’s not that big of a deal, you keep telling yourself, because you’re actually terrified of losing all of your friends, if you really think about it. 

Maybe Eddie a little bit more? 

But what’s a little bit more, in a purely Platonic sense? 

You try not to fidget in your seat too much at the mere thought of seeing him again later. 

Hear his voice again, see his bright eyes and his even brighter smile again. And those curls. You’ve missed running your fingers through them so, so much. 

But most of all, you’ve missed those comforting nights together, curled up on either one of your couches, sometimes high, sometimes not. 

You’ve missed his little giggles and the gentle rumble of his chest when he was laughing while you were lying curled up closely on top of him, listening to his steady heartbeat and high ramblings.

You simply missed Eddie.

Your best friend Eddie, whose been by your side as an avid supporter ever since middle school. 

Eddie, who you cried to, when the first boy had broken your heart in 6th grade.

And then you ended up crying even more when Eddie came home hours later with a broken nose, because he tried to fight that bastard, and, uh, didn’t quite succeed.

“It was a draw,” Eddie’s still adamant about that, even now, though you both know that that isn’t really the truth.

But it’s the thought that counts, and the determination to protect you, completely and wholeheartedly.

And Eddie certainly did that, when he was putting his fucking nose on the line for you, something he still gets lovingly teased about by the rest of your shared friends. 

Eddie, the boy who taught you your first riffs on his cherished guitar.

Who would learn some of your favorite songs, just so he could teach you the cords and watch your face light up with excitement, like when you found him playing Heart of Glass or Sister Golden Hair, two songs he supposedly hated, but not enough apparently; not enough when it comes to you. 

Eddie, the guy who, unbeknownst to him, had become the protector and owner of your heart, ever since you can remember; but especially since high school, when he started to get his first little tattoos and grew his hair out, while simultaneously growing more into himself at the same time.

And now, he’s the man you utterly adore - on a solely Platonic level, of course; or at least that’s what you keep telling yourself and your shared friends, but neither one really believes you. 

“So, Billy,” you state, because you want to change the direction of your thoughts and talking about a random guy might help. 

Though, you did know a Billy at some point in time, but that’s also not something you’d like to think about, and it’s not something you’ve ever really shared with your friends either, nor do you want to. 

“He joined Hawkins High right after I left for junior year, right?” 

“Yeah, he was a grade below Steve, I think? Or maybe he was a senior then too? Fuck, I don’t remember.” Heather mutters, “But hey, we can ask him about it when we see him in a bit.” 

“Oh no, it’s not that important,” you refuse quickly, voice soft. 

The avid talks between the three of you start picking up again, when Heather wants to know your opinion on the latest Bananarama single, and it escalates quickly into a passionate discussion about the latest music releases. 

By the time Chrissy steers the car towards the parking spots near your apartment complex, you and Heather are still completely lost in a deep and serious debate about who the better Roger Taylor is;

Heather’s convinced it’s Roger Taylor, the drummer of Duran Duran, and you adamantly swear that this is blasphemous, because it's obviously Roger Taylor, the drummer of Queen, who’s superior.

Not just over the funky little Duran Duran guy, but superior over all drummers in general. 

The god among the drummers, if you will. 

Your drummer god. 

“You just say that because you think he’s hot and you want to get dicked down by him,” Heather huffs, and you scoff in return, folding your arms over your chest defensively. 

As if her assessment of the best drummer isn’t led entirely by lust either. 

“Well, who doesn’t want to get dicked down by Roger Taylor, the drummer of Queen?!” You exclaim incredulously, before adding, “Like, excuse me, but have you seen him? The hair, the arms, the voice, the passion, the attitude … And you know he has the fucking stamina to hold a decent pace and tempo while-“  

“Okay that’s enough!” Chrissy quips up with a laugh. 

“You’re both unbelievable.” She states with fake exasperation, “Besides, isn’t it obvious that the best drummer mankind has ever been blessed with is Animal?”

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, as you try to whack your brain for a drummer named such an odd name, but can’t think of any band that would- 

The sudden realization that hits you like a punch in the gut has your eyes going wide.

“But Chrissy,” you almost yell in surprise, “That’s the drummer from the Muppets!”

“Exactly,” she chirps while getting out of the car, and you and Heather share a confused and slightly concerned look, before Chrissy pokes her head back into the car, her eyes narrowing in sternly on the two of you. 

“And no, I don’t want to fuck him, you animals. I just think he’s neat.” 

If you thought getting your luggage out of the baggage cart earlier and into the car was difficult, getting it into your little apartment on the fifth floor proves itself as even more challenging.

By the end of it, all three of you are completely sweaty and exhausted, lightly bickering about who gets to shower first. 

As usual you play Rock, Paper, Scissors. As usual Chrissy wins (at least while Robin isn’t around.) And as usual, you go last – it’s a fate that you’ve already made peace with.

You don’t really have the time to unpack everything from your heavy suitcases, nor do you have the energy to, if you’re honest.

So, instead, while Chrissy’s occupying the bathroom, singing a gentle cover version of Sweet Child O’ Mine, that flows softly from beneath the door like the warm steam that’s slipping through, you and Heather decide to get the outfits ready for tonight.

Heather decides on a sparkly dress. You decide on a cute skirt with a flowy top that’s a bit more 70s, and for Chrissy you end up laying out three options.

One that you think is cute, one that Heather thinks is cute, and one that Chrissy would probably think is cute. 

Once everyone has showered, the three of you help each other get ready just as always.

It’s the same routine as before you left, and you’re amazed at how easy it is to fall right back into that again.

You currently tease Heather’s hair while Chrissy picks out the perfect jewelry for you, slipping the necklace and the earrings on you carefully. 

“Thanks,” you mumble between the hairclip you’re currently holding in between your teeth, as you need both of your hands to finish Heather’s ponytail; while Heather’s swatching lipstick after lipstick on the back of her hand, her annoyed huffs increasing by the minute, because she can’t find that one shade she swears she owns. 

“It would be perfect,” she swoons, “And it would really bring out the color of your eyes. I bought it with you in mind, barely a month ago, but I just can’t find it.” 

She does find it, half an hour later, when you’re all about to slip through the door to get to the venue. 

And you can’t help but laugh because it really is like always. 

The Blitz isn’t too far off, and despite having visited it numerous times before, you squirm away anxiously in your seat again.

You’re excited, of course, to see all of your friends again but you can’t help but also feel a little bit nervous.

It isn’t just the thought of Eddie, that has the pace of your heartbeat increasing. It’s also all the other guys you’ll be reuniting with; because after having been gone for a few months, you can’t help but feel a little out of the loop.

Sure, Chrissy and Heather had welcomed you back with arms wide open and filled you in almost immediately on all the newest developments.

But those talks also made you realize how much you had missed out on while you were gone.

Of course, you’ve had your own little adventures in the meantime in Europe, but those were only shared with yourself and some casual friends you made along the way, while the rest of your friends, your closest friends, had been bonding about things you had no clue about, and you notice that you’re a little scared about the prospect of not getting every single inside joke like you used to, before you left.

You know it’s a little silly, but the knot in your stomach still lingers. 

“Hey, listen, it’s your boyfriend!” Heather calls you out of your thoughts, voice teasing, before turning the radio up with a smile.

It’s Queen’s One Vision, and the laugh that leaves your lips is earnest and warm, and while it’s not your favorite Queen song, you still hum along, taping the beat softly on the exposed skin of your thigh, as you feel yourself be more at ease.

“Did you watch the making of video of that song?” You question, a teasing smile back on your lips because you know this will rile both of your friends up.

Not waiting for an answer, you continue:

“Roger Taylor looked simply to die for in his funky little dad-shirts, with the sunglasses behind his big set of drums, which surely aren’t the only big things he owns, and doesn’t it just make you want to curl up into his lap and-“ 

“How the fuck do you manage to come back from Europe more horny?” Chrissy interrupts you amused. 

“It’s what the French will do to you,” you joke, poking your tongue out at her and subsequently making her laugh. 

“Uh-huh, I bet Eddie would want to hear all about that.”

“Except here’s where you wrong,” Heather chimes in, “Because Eddie doesn’t really play the drums, does he? But if he would hear the way you keep talking about Roger Taylor, I’m sure he would kick Billy out in a heartbeat and play those fucking drums himself, just to impress you.” 

“Oh, shut up!” you exclaim, feeling your cheeks heat up and getting rather flustered.

“He doesn’t like me like that anyway.” 

“Bullshit!” Chrissy and Heather exclaim at the same time, but you’re still unconvinced. 

They’re your best friends, after all, they’re supposed to hype you up.

But you’re not going to risk it.

You’re not going to risk the year-long friendship with Eddie; you just won’t. You might not know a lot, but that’s something you’re quite sure about. 

When you arrive at the venue, there’s still a few more hours to go till the concert, and the sun hasn’t quite set yet either.

Heather holds the door open for you and Chrissy to slip through, and the latter takes your hand, without a second thought once she notices the slight tremble of your fingers, thus instantly making you feel more at ease again. 

She gives you a supportive smile and you try to mirror it, heart pounding away in your chest with quite the intensity.

You’re going to see Eddie again, and all of your friends you love so much. 

The first person to notice you is Jonathan, ever the uttermost attentive one. His hair is a bit longer since the last time you’ve seen him, but it suits him well enough.

You wonder how Nancy feels about it, though.

He smiles brightly at you, once he sees you, dropping the cables he’s been working on unceremoniously before hoping off the stage, his camera dangling from his neck as always.

You sometimes wonder if he wears that thing to bed as well. 

But you digress. 

As both, unofficial roadie and band photographer, his help is very much needed, and he tries to do his best where he can, in between his studies and his work at a small photo lab.

But right now, everything else can wait, because he has a friend to welcome back. 

He’s missed you, and he tells you that while his arms wrap around you softy, and you can’t help but notice how he smells very much of weed; Argyle’s and Eddie’s continuous influence undoubtfully. 

“Look at you, you’re beaming!” Jonathan observes with a laugh, as he lets you go carefully before adjusting his camera back in place once more.

He had swung the object over the back of his shoulder quickly, so as to prevent it from poking either one of you during your prolonged hug, but now that there’s even the slightest distance between you two again, the beloved object is back in its semi-secure place.

Before you can lovingly tease him about it, you get jumped by Steve, who’s laughing loud and hearty and almost has you speechless with his bright smile and warm eyes. 

“You’re back! You’re back!” He exclaims, jumping excitedly up and down while hugging you tightly from behind, thus rendering you to the ungrateful fate of bopping along like a ragdoll in his grip. 

That guy is seriously underestimating his strength, you think, as you get lifted up and down once more, moved around like a fucking saltshaker. 

“Geez, dingus, you’re gonna give her moving sickness!”

Robin chides, before encompassing you in a big hug herself, saving you from Steve’s unyielding grip, and you let out a small, relieved huff, as you can actually breathe again.

She still sounds and smells exactly like she always does, and it’s something you didn’t know you’ve missed that much until you’re faced with it again, and it hits you like a brick in the teeth, how very much you longed to hear her raspy laugh and teasing voice, and just everything about her.

You hug her a little tighter as you cherish the feeling of it all a moment or two longer. 

“Our little jetsetter is back!” Argyle exclaims from the back of the room at the same time as Robin inquires about the quality of your flight, and he almost stumbles over a few carton boxes to get to you quicker.

He simply joins Robin in her current hug, his body soft against yours, and his lush hair flowing around with every bop of his head. 

How did it manage to get even longer, and silkier, you think. 

“Now my amigos are all together and complete again,” he hums with content, and you agree with a soft laugh.

You sure are all gathered around together again. 

Everyone except Nancy, who’s still at Uni, and Eddie. 

Eddie, who’s apparently the last one to get the fucking memo, as he’s stepping out of the backstage area onto the stage, deeply in thought, headphones on top of his curly hair and his beloved guitar tightly in hand.

When he looks up to see you getting absolutely swarmed by all of your shared friends, he almost drops his guitar. 

Fuck, you look stunning. 

You’ve always been the prettiest girl in all of Hawkins. No, scrap that, all of Indiana, to him.

But after not seeing you for months, and longing for your return every fucking day, being finally faced with you hits him in the chest like one of those kick-boxer-moves he keeps seeing on late night TV with Argyle, when they’re both high as a kite, and he can almost feel himself stumble a few steps back at the intensity of it all. 

God, he’s in deep.

But how could he not be, when you’re standing there glowing, smiling brightly from ear to ear as you try to answer each and every one of the rapid questions that your friends currently throw your way.

And then your eyes find his on the stage, and that’s the thing that pushes him out of his previous stare and rigidity.

He’s jumping of the stage even quicker than Jonathan did earlier, sprinting towards your direction and colliding with you with a force that has you actually tumbling back, and you probably would have fallen too, if it wasn’t for Eddie’s steading grip on your waist, as he hugs you as tightly to his chest as humanly possible and then he spins you around like a child. 

“You’re back!” he exclaims, voice emotional and a little raw, and he repeats those words until he stops spinning you around, curling himself around you instead, as you both come down from the overwhelming feeling and dizziness of it all. 

“Fuck, I’ve missed you so much!” he mumbles, as he hides his face in the crook of your neck, taking in the soft fragrance of your shampoo, and your perfume, and those other notes that just make you smell utterly like you. 

God, how he’s missed you!

“Missed you too, Eds.” you admit in a hushed whisper against the exposed skin of his neck, and a little relieved sigh falls from Eddie’s lips, because that means he wasn’t the only one. 

Wasn’t the only one who thought of you each and every single day and night of your absence. 

Or at least that’s what he’d like to think, because your shared friends have been more adamant in their pursue of convincing him to finally make a move on you, because supposedly you feel the same way about him as he feels about you.

Something that seems Entirely far-fetched and impossible in Eddie’s mind; but the idea does sound very nice.

But he simply doesn’t want to risk it. 

You’re the bestest friend he could ask for, and he values you too much, to let you slip away because of some stupid butterflies he’s felt for you, ever since he saw you for the first time in middle school, many, many years ago.

You’re not sure how long you two stand engulfed like that; but there’s still a concert to set up, so it’s probably not as long as either one of you wants it to be. 

But nevertheless, Eddie takes the time to show you around, eyes beaming with excitement, and you feel so incredibly proud of him. 

And fuck, you’ve really missed his smiles, and his overdramatic enactments as he parades you around the space, eager to so share this special moment with you. 

A moment he’s been working towards for such a long time. And knowing he gets to have this with all of his closest friends around, most of all you, means the uttermost world to him.

He’s also rather nervous, but how could he not be.

This night is going to be big.

For better, or for worse.

He watches the rest of his bandmembers, Steve and Robin, scurry around, while lost in thought, before he suddenly remembers something. 

Billy.

He’s not sure where that guy is currently hiding, but he’s eager to introduce you two. Curious what you’ll think of each other, because as much as he says he’s exasperated by that mullet-haired dude, he’s also come to like him quite a little bit. 

Maybe it’s because he’s moved in with him and the other guys, granting Eddie the chance to peak behind that cold exterior of Billy’s personality, that used to keep everyone at twice the arm’s length. 

Maybe it’s Billy’s talent – because, fuck, that guy sure is talented. And maybe that’s what smooths over some of the sharp edges of his personality for Ed.

Either way, that guy he used to dislike during high school is steadily growing on him.

Steve says, it’s probably just the fact that they’re the only ones in the group with the same horrible music taste, but Eddie can just scoff at that.

It’s a bold statement coming from someone who unapologetically sings Cyndi Lauper at the top of his lungs in the shower.

Eddie shakes his head at the memory before scanning the venue for Billy. 

He sees the guy in question walk in with an amplifier completely on his own. 

That guy really is crazy, Eddie thinks. 

No matter how often he’s told him not to carry those heavy electronics by himself, he still does it. 

Stubborn little fuck. 

He’s about to call out his name, scolding him once more, when he notices one of the in-house sound technicians running up to him, trying to help. 

Eddie doesn’t need to see Billy’s face to know that he’s wearing the biggest scowl right now, fuming about not getting his way. 

And Eddie decides to let go of your hand that he’s been holding ever since you two reunited, and makes his way over to Billy quickly.

Slapping him so hard on his shoulder it almost has him dropping the amplifier again. 

“Geez, Munson, what’s the deal with you today?” Billy huffs as he turns around, but not before putting the amplifier down carefully.

Eddie instead gives the technician a gentle smile. “We’ve got it from here, thank you.” he states, before grabbing Billy carefully by his arm. 

“I told you to stop carrying those by yourself, idiot. You’ll just strain your already tense back, and that won’t help your performance while drumming at all.”  He whispers, while giving Billy a pointed look, before leading him back towards you. 

“Billy, I want you to meet someone-“ 

“Oh, yeah?” the guy in question asks with a suggestive smile, “But the groupies haven’t even-“ 

There’s another hearty slap on Billy’s back to render him speechless and get him to shut up again, though the slap itself might not be the only reason for his sudden lack of words.

Because as his eyes finally find yours in the middle of the fucking venue, you feel like your brain is short-circuiting at the actually sight of him.

It takes you a second or two to realize where exactly you know him from, and why his features seem so oddly familiar to you.

But when you finally do recognize him, putting two and two together, you feel like your legs are going to give out, and you can’t help but exclaim, completely and utterly surprised:

“No fucking way!”

And Billy looks at you, just as stunned, blue eyes big as saucers, eyebrows raised almost comically behind his wild curls, mouth slightly aghast, because this simply cannot be. 

Because right here, before you stands no other than William fucking Hargrove.

Your childhood best friend, William Hargrove.

Billy Sunnyboy Hargrove; The guy you met in kindergarten and never let go off, until you moved to Indiana, after your shared and chaotic time in elementary school together. 

Sure, he looks different. 

Fuck, he looks very different, you can’t help but notice, but it’s unmistakably him.

The piercing blue eyes, the slightly freckled skin, the bright smile and lush lashes. 

It’s him.

The boy you befriended at the tender age of three and a half after complimenting his dolphin-decorated lunchbox. 

The boy you would hide in your closet, in the hopes that his parents wouldn’t find him when they’d come to pick him up again, because you knew what his dad did to him. 

Because you knew that the bruises on your body only ever came from falling too hard on the playground, like jumping off from the swing-set to soon; but Billy’s mostly came from a darker and much more sinister source.

A source you can’t shake of as easily as you could the dust from your hands after falling down, and picking yourself up again, and maybe running off to your dad, so he would kiss the wounds and lingering bruises better, while Billy’s dad was the reason for his.

For the violent blue and green outlines that have always bloomed on your best friend’s skin, ever since you’ve first met him. 

Billy, the boy who you tried to cheer up desperately, after his mother just left out of the blue, by bringing him his favorite sweets to school, and sneaking him secretly into the girls bathroom, dragging him to the uttermost hidden and final stall, just so you could hold him and let him cry against your shoulder and yell in grief, despair, and anger. 

And hurt.

So much hurt. 

Billy, the boy you had your first ever kiss with, in an act of complete and utter innocence, because you both just wanted to know what it would be like, with nothing but childlike curiosity. 

The boy who taught you how to surf, while you taught him how to make the perfect necklaces out of the prettiest seashells – or as perfect as a 7-year-old can make them anyways.

It’s Billy. 

Your Billy.

The Billy you left in complete and utter tears, when you told him you’d move away come the end of summer, a long, long time ago.

Billy, the boy you wrote so many letters to, but never heard from again. 

Never spoke to again.

Never even saw again.

Until this very moment. 

And when he says your full name in complete surprise and disbelief, you don’t know whether to laugh or to cry. 

Next Chapter

________________

And that's it! Sorry for the little cliff hanger, couldn't help myself with that one! Also, if you made it this far, thank you! I really appreciate you reading my little series! And I hope you enjoyed it!

[selfiecharmedlife]

RE: Guilty Queer 2: The Sequel

Way back in 2019, I wrote a piece for this blog about the Guilty Gear series and how it had played a big role in my own journey through life and gender. Guilty Gear is a franchise spotlights the character's growth and allows them to change based on the events of the storyline. I mean, just look at Ky’s transition into a thriving wifeguy and father.

Like the metal genre that inspired many of the game's motifs, Guilty Gear has always been pretty gay. The most recent installment in the series, Guilty Gear: StrIVe (get it because IV is 4), turns the volume up to 11. After the reintroductions of Testament and Bridget after a decade+ long absence, Strive has some of the best queer representation I’ve seen not just in video games but in media overall. 

(Spoiler and note: I’m going to use They/Them and She/Her to refer to Testament and Bridget respectively)

I didn’t expect that either of these characters would come back to the series. In prior installments, Testament was an antagonist turned brooding recluse. Prior to Strive, their story dealt mainly with their lingering guilt and their inability to forgive humanity for what they experienced during the crusades. Their only remaining purpose in life being to protect Dizzy who leaves on her own adventure at the end of the game. 

Fast-forward to their reintroduction and Testament is now at peace with themselves having adopted a more fluid sense of gender coupled as well as an androgynous presentation. With Dizzy gone and too much free time, they also picked up a pages long list of hobbies including streaming, failing to improve at art and building gunpla. There is even some subtext implying Testament and Johnny are more than friends. We just love to see an empty nested gay thriving.

This kind of stuff is what makes this series so special to me. Testament’s arc wasn’t just tacked on for representation points. It was earned through over two decades of storytelling. The focus on character development makes it easy to feel invested in these characters that aged and matured along with me since I picked up a copy of Guilty Gear XX.

High School was not an easy time for me. I was an effeminate kid and used to get regularly beaten up and called slurs by my peers. It got so bad that my parents pulled me out of public school and put me into a private all boys high school. During that same time, I also started to go through puberty (the first on anyway). I learned how to front machismo enough to get by in a school where the halls were permanently stained with axe body spray and the dress code required students keep short haircuts. Meanwhile, my body was changing in ways I didn’t want and didn’t understand. Some nights, I’d lay in bed imagining a different life where I had been born a girl and cry. In the morning, I’d put on a polo shirt (shirt and tie on Church days!) and go back to school.

There has never been a point in my life that I did not know I was trans. From the point I realized boys and girls were different, I knew I would rather be a girl but I resigned myself thinking that I had drawn an unfortunate lot in life. I wanted to make my parents happy and correctly assumed they would not accept a gay child. The 90's hadn't been a kind decade for trans representation either. Finding Bridget in Guilty Gear was a light bulb moment for me. Here was a story about a character pressured by her parents to present in a way she didn’t want while still striving to carve out her own form of masculinity. It wasn’t a 1:1 fit but her story got me thinking that maybe I too could find my own niche that would feel right for me. 

She was the first character I ever “mained” in a fighting game. I played her story modes over and over again trying to tease out every bit of her characterization. Through Bridget, I found and projected onto other otokonoko media, started learning about makeup/cosplay in secret and started eating a lot of soy thinking it would turn into estrogen in my body. 

Over the course of several years, I got interested in weight lifting which led to a desire to build the body to cosplay Gilgamesh from Fate. My connection to Bridget and other otokonoko characters waned as my body became more muscular but my interest in feminine things and expression never fully went away. At a fighting game tournament, my then girlfriend surprised me with a Bridget keychain knowing how much I still loved the character. That keychain has been in my wallet or hanging on my purse ever since.

It took many years, but I did it. Outwardly, I was an extremely attractive man. I looked in the mirror after hitting my goal weight but couldn't see that in myself. I had all the things I thought I wanted and the affirmation of colleagues, friends and family but it felt empty. Sure, I was fine in my day to day life, but I couldn’t envision a future for myself where I wasn’t either dead or a woman.

Fast forward and I’m now approaching my five year HRT anniversary. The endocrinologists I’ve worked with have told me that this is where most people stop seeing non-surgical changes. There have been some tough feelings coming to grips with that. My relationship with my body is better but remains complicated. One of the last things I expected over the last few days was for Bridget to come back into the Guilty Gear franchise.

Strive takes place 7 years after XX where Bridget last appeared meaning she’s probably around the same age I was when I decided to transition. Her story picks up with having the fame, wealth and affirmation she was looking for but feeling lost regardless. After soul-searching with Goldlewis (who I read as a gay man regretting denying his sexuality when he was younger) and Ky, she decides to accept herself as a woman. After having a feminine identity pushed onto her, she’s found her own sense of femininity on her own terms. I cried when I first watched her arcade ending. I cried again when I watched it a second time on stream. I’m crying while I’m writing this. 

It’s hard to express how it feels to have this character reappear at this junction in my life. In some ways it feels like meeting an old friend again and realizing you’re both girls now. On top of that, the way the voice actors, directors and writers handled this scene is incredibly nuanced and sensitive. It’s one of the last things I would have expected from a video game with such sparse dialogue, but this is Guilty Gear. 

Outside of a loud group of weirdos that don’t understand Japanese and insist Bridget being trans is a translation error, the reception I’ve seen has been gushingly positive. People with no prior interest in fighting games are thinking about learning Guilty Gear because they want to learn more about this character.

I still have a lot of feelings about this but I’m not sure how to best express them. I guess I’m just really happy to see my friend again and excited that a whole new generation of people get to meet them too.

Maybe she can be to some other people in need what she ended up being to me.

[aerynwrites]

Specter

Boba Fett x F!Reader

A/N: For @autumnleaves1991-blog Writer Wednesday! I had a lot of fun with this one as Sci-Fi is definitely my passion when it comes to writing, watching, reading stuff! So I guess a little backstory with this, is my inspirations for the reader came from the above image (left) as well as kind of mixing that with the idea of The Winter Soldier/Bucky from the MCU. Also I loved the idea of Boba facing an opponent that hes never faced before and getting his ass beat lol. So...here ya go! I hope you all enjoy! <3

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: fighting, guns, and knives.

Specter: Specter refers a ghost, or something that is widely feared or is a source of terror or dread.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

In all his years as a bounty hunter traveling the galaxy, It still surprises Boba sometimes that he doesn’t know all of the planets. Granted he is usually only called to the same ones over and over. So, seeing a new planet is something that causes surprise to tug at the edges of his mind. This is how he feels when the bounty he receives is said to be last spotted on a rather large yet secluded planet by the name of Zonuc. The memory of the exchange a few days ago replays in his mind as the ramp to Slave I lowers.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“I’ve never even heard of this planet before, and you expect me to fly triple the distance I usually do to capture a bounty that you can’t even give me any information on? No age. No species. No name-”

“I gave you a name,” the client interrupts, waving his withering hand dismissively. The client is a wrinkly old Zabrak bastard who has caused Boba more frustration in the last half hour than he’s experienced in years.

“No,” he barks, “You have me an alias, which isn’t that helpful when they can just dump it for a new one whenever they please.”

The Zabrak rolls his eyes, “I was told you were the best. If you feel this is too much of a challenge I can just find someone else to-”

“Save your ultimatums for someone else, Kar,” Boba snaps, “I’ll get them. But I expect heavy compensation for the trouble this causes me.”

Kar sneers at the bounty hunter, “If you manage to bring them back to me alive, I assure you,” he leans back in his chair, “you will never have to worry about credits again.”

Boba scoffs before turning on his heel and leaving to find his bounty.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

The sight that greets Boba as the ramp of Slave I opens before him, is definitely different than anything he’s seen. Immediately he is struck with a familiarity. The city he’s landed in is teeming with life, bustling streets, towering buildings, neon signs hanging everywhere. It reminds him of Coruscant but less…refined. This place is definitely a place where those who want to disappear go. This place also reeks of trouble and shady dealings. What strikes him as the most odd however, is the people that seem to inhabit the place.

They look like humanoid droids. But not the kind that can’t do anything but follow their master around and translate languages. No. These things look like humanoids that have been transformed into machines. 

Boba treads carefully - senses on high alert while also listening to the tracking fob that beeps steadily at his side. He spends his first few hours on the planet trying to simply get his bearings, finally having found a non-robotic person to ask about the place. He learns that the people that inhabit the planet in majority are called Exos, a species he’s never heard of. He also finds that this place is exactly what he thought it to be - 

A place for criminals and wanted people to come and live and thrive in a life of crime. A safe haven for those on the run from people like him. 

He huffed at that information. No place is ever truly safe, and as his tracking fob starts to beep faster, he knows he’s about to teach that lesson to yet another bounty. 

He follows where the tracking fob leads him, surprised that the bounty does not seem to be moving. Finally, he rounds a corner at the end of the street he is on and he immediately feels when the bounty clocks him. You are at a stall in a marketplace in the middle of the street. He sees you turn to look just as he rounds the corner and he immediately recognizes the mask from the pictures shown to him by Kar. It's black, with orange glowing detail around the visor, creating a haunting effect. The second that visor lands on Fett, you turn on your heel and sprint in the opposite direction. 

The hunter curses to himself and gives chase.

He has faced many different bounties in his lifetime, but this one is the first that he has ever had a sliver of a doubt about. The way you dart nimbly through the streets before literally leaping off of walls to reach the roof tops, giving you a height advantage. Fett follows as best he can with his jet pack, but between dodging speeders and hanging signs he loses sight of you. For a moment, as he lands in a side alley, he thinks he actually lost the bounty. 

Until the fob at his side starts going haywire. 

He glances up above him and raises an arm just as you come crashing down onto him, razor sharp blade glancing off his vambrace as you land. Fett pulls his blaster from it’s holster and aims faster than most could blink, but not fast enough for you. You reach out and grab the end of his blaster before it even reaches chest level, and you yank it from his grip with a force that strikes a tinge of concern into hunters mind. He watches in utter shock as you break the solid metal in half over your knee before rearing back and throwing a knife in his direction. He barely dodges it and immediately reaches for his own blade to defend the attack he knows is coming. This time he is at least able to draw his weapon completely before you are on him again. 

You go to throw a punch at his head, and on instinct he leans into it, used to his opponent crumpling in pain once their fist makes contact with the solid metal. However, this time, he is the one that stumbles when a deafening ringing fills his ears as metal connects with metal.

Wait - metal on metal?

He glances up from where his eyes fell to the floor to see you rearing back to hit him again, and he just manages to finally realize what is happening. The black color of your hand that he had assumed were gloves, is actually smooth metal.

He’s fighting a fucking robot. 

Before he can dwell on it too long however, he dodges another blow and thrusts his blade forward and up with the intent of burying the blade in your stomach. But before he can, you reach out and wrap your fingers around the blade - stopping it in its path. You wretch the weapon from his hands before landing a herculean blow to his chest, sending the man flying backwards into the wall behind him. He collapses to the ground in a heap and is forced to watch as you snap his blade in half too before approaching the downed hunter. He can see that you think you’ve beaten him, and perhaps you have to some extent. But Boba Fett is not going out of this galaxy sitting on his ass.

So, just as you approach him, he swings his feet out and takes your own from beneath you. And in a puzzling turn of events, he reaches for the mask on your face instead of a weapon at his side. His fingers just manage to slip the plastoid from your head before a boot is placed into his stomach and he is flung backwards with otherworldly strength once more. This time, he is again surprised to feel his helmet being ripped from his head, watching as you launch it down the alley way before hauling him to sit upright against the wall.  

You crouch down in front of him, and it's then that he finally gets a closer look at the first bounty that has bested him. The first thing he thinks is that you’re pretty. too pretty to be hiding behind some mask. The second thing he notices is the rhythmic whirring and clicking of the mechanics coming from the, what he can see now, is two mechanical arms. 

He huffs, cringing at the stabbing pain in his side as you glare at him. “So, what are you anyway?” he finally asks, eyes tracing over your arms once more before returning to your face, “I feel like I at least deserve an answer before you kill me.”

Your head tilts to the side slightly at his words, and unbeknownst to him, similar thoughts to his own are running through your head. You find the bounty hunter somewhat attractive and very intriguing

“All you need to know is one thing-” you finally breathe, and Boba finds himself entranced by your voice, “Come after me again...And I won’t go easy on you.” 

You stand then, but not before shoving the man back into the wall harshly. You scoop up your mask and slip it back over your face and turn to exit the alley way, leaving the defeated bounty hunter on the ground.

“That was taking it easy on me?” Boba huffs out a laugh and shakes his head.

You pause and turn to look over your shoulder, visor glowing ominously as you say, “I don’t think you want to find out.” and then, with a mighty leap, you disappear into the rooftops.

Boba lets out a defeated sigh as you leave his eyesight, yet, he can’t help the way his lips tug up at the corners slightly. 

“I don’t know princess,” he mumbles to himself, letting out a low groan as he finally stands, “I think I want a rematch.”

And in that moment, in a damp ally on an unknown planet, Boba decides that he isn’t done with you yet. Not by a long shot.

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

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Boba Fett: @words-way-of-life​  @itssmashedavo​ @gallowsjoker​ @princessbatears​ @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​

[ibuki-loves-you]

Hey I understand that requests are closed rn

But when they open back up again

I was hoping if you can do a NSFW alphabet for Kaede?

If not it’s okay

I’m new to your blog but I love all your works and you are very talented 💜

Kaede Akamatsu NSFW Alphabet

Warnings: NSFW

Mod Ibuki: Thank you nonnie!! I hope you enjoy!

A = Aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

Kaede is a sweetheart! She’ll giggle and tell you how amazing the sex was. She’s a huge cuddler, so expect her to cuddle you. While she’s holding you, she’ll pepper kisses all over your face. She’ll also kiss any hickies that she left on you.

B = Body part (what is their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner?)

Kaede likes her thighs. She loves the feeling of you gripping her thighs while you eat her out. She just loves when you touch her thigh, whether it be sexual or not

Kaede loves loves loves your waist. She likes wrapping her arms around your waist in a hug. For more sexual instances, she really likes holding your waist, even though she has a tight grip sometimes.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum)

Kaede loves cumming on your face. When you’re eating her out and she cums, she thrives for when you lift your head and show her your wet lips, wet with her juices. It never fails to make her flustered, and even more aroused.

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

Kaede is a huge fan of thigh riding. She loves watching you get yourself off on her thigh. It’s even hotter to her when she bounces her leg and you let out a loud moan.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very much. She’s probably masturbated before, but besides that she doesn’t have any.

F = Favourite Position

Face sitting. Whether it be her on yours or you on hers, she loves it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment or humorous?)

Kaede is a bit more humorous. She doesn’t want the atmosphere to be too tense. You’re supposed to be having fun, it shouldn’t be serious!

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)

Very clean. Kaede shaves regularly, so you won’t be seeing much hair at all.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? are they romantic?)

Kaede can be romantic, but she prefers a light-hearted atmosphere. So expect a lot of teasing about how cute you look, or how you seem to be enjoying yourself.

J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanon.)

Kaede masturbates, but she’d definitely prefer you being the one pleasuring her. More often than not, though, you are.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks.)

Kaede is into light bondage. Nothing intense, but you look so cute handcuffed below her.

L = Location (where are their favourite places to do the do?)

Kaede doesn’t really care as long as you are in private, but she likes the bedroom best.

M = Motivation (what turns them on and gets them going?)

Grip her thigh!! Tight thigh grips are her biggest turn-ons. Place a hand of her thigh and squeeze, she’s all yours.

N = NO (is there something they wouldn’t do? what are their turn-offs?)

Pain is a big no no. Kaede wants to pleasure you, not cause you pain. Plus, she’d feel horrible afterwards.

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)

Both! Kaede loves when you go down on her, but she also loves going down on you. She has slow, teasing strokes that build up to fast ones, so you’re in for it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough or slow and sensual?)

Kaede can go pretty fast, mainly from excitement. The only time she really goes slow is when she wants to tease you, but for the most part she goes pretty fast.

Q = Quickie (what is their opinion on quickies over proper sex? how often do they have quickies?)

Kaede has no issue with quickies. So if you wanted her to jack you off before a party or something, she’s down. She doesn’t have quickies more than proper sex, but she still enjoys them nonetheless.

R = Risk (are they willing to experiment? do they take risks?)

For the most part yes! As long as it isn’t harmful to you or her, she’ll try it!

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

3 or 4 rounds that last quite a bit. She has a lot of energy.

T = Toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Yes! Kaede owns a dildo that she occasionally uses on herself, but she prefers using it on her partner. She adores the noises she can pull from you using that.

U = Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

Kaede teases a bit. She likes hearing you whine and beg her for more, but she will eventually give you what you want.

V = Volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make?)

She’s not very loud, but she moans a lot. Her moans are soft and quiet.

W = Wild Card (a random nsfw headcanon.)

Kaede loves penetration. Whether it’s her using a strap on you or not, she finds she gets the most pleasure out of it.

X = X-Ray (what’s going on in those pants?)

Kaede is busty, so she’s most likely a double D.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s up there, but not excessive if that makes sense. She really only gets horny when her turn ons are triggered, but besides that not really. Although, she does occasionally decide “I want to have sex,” which is why I say it’s up there.

Z = ZZZ (how quickly do they fall asleep afterward?)

It takes a little bit for her to calm down, but once Kaede sees you asleep, she’ll go to sleep. So it all depends on how long it takes you to fall asleep.

[mediabasedlife]

A Look Back At...The Last Generation (2013-2020)

I’d like to start this off by thanking those who encouraged me to write this article, my friends and family who encouraged me to rekindle this project despite my own trepidation. I hope its quality lives up to those lofty expectations.

     Say what you will about the hobby, gaming is in many ways the gift that keeps on giving. Every year there are hundreds, if not thousands of new offerings for every brand of player out there. And wouldn't you know it, there's a fairly significant portion of that library that are actually pretty good. Now, people will argue ad infinitum about what games are the best, or what consoles, or even which generation trumps the rest. This diversity of opinion is what has allowed gaming discussion to thrive just as potently as the medium which it encapsulates. Like any opinion, all of this is especially subjective; great games have been coming out pretty much every year since gaming began, a trend that seems like it will continue as long as gaming itself continues to thrive. While some may argue, I would say the latest generation thrived especially well. Ignoring the Wii-U, since I never owned one, and skirting around handhelds, the latest generation spanned the life of the Xbox One, the PlayStation 4, and technically, the Nintendo Switch. And through their seven-year life [switch notwithstanding], we saw the release of some truly excellent games - from top budget AAA titles to humble indie offerings. Now, in 2020, while we as a community are taking our first steps into the new generation of gaming, I think it fair to take pause, gaze back, and remember some of the games that made the latest generation so memorable for so many.

2013

    2013 marked the start of the last-gen, with the release of both the Xbox One and the PlayStation 4. Both consoles were built to shepherd out their predecessors, marking leaps in visual fidelity and infrastructure that would empower them to become the monoliths of gaming that they hoped to be. I won't say that both consoles had an equally vibrant launch, but they both tried to put their best foot forward. While the Xbox was busy desperately trying to become the multimedia center for your living room, Sony kicked off the next generation in style, releasing a whole seven days earlier than its competitor. With the Xbox not far behind, both consoles brought a suite of new, shiny games to play. Well, in theory, anyway. I'm not here to speak of the quality of the launch lineups of either console, but what I can do is list off the game that stood out, and why it made it onto my list.

-Assassin's Creed Black Flag      Black Flag actually saw its initial release on the PS3 and Xbox 360 almost a month prior to the soon to be current generation, but with both new consoles came a second release, one that came equipped with all the bells and whistles you'd expect from what was then a next-gen game. It doesn't look good for my list to start things off on a technicality, but this game is worth it. Black Flag remains one of my top three Assassin's Creed Games, which is saying a lot considering the sheer scale of the franchise. Fresh off the love it or hate it Assassin's Creed III, Black Flag looked to take a revitalized approach to the franchise formula, playing off of fan feedback, expanding upon what fans loved from AC3, and adding in new activities and a broader, fresher open world to explore. In it, you play as Edward Kenway, a charming rogue of a pirate who kicks the game off by stealing the identity of a defected Assassin. Expecting nothing more than riches and glory, his masquerade instead goes quickly sour, thrusting Edward into the conspiracy filled, secretive world of the Assassin and Templar conflict. What makes this story stand out is how different Edward was as a protagonist, seeing him acting largely indifferent to the traditional formula the assassin's creed games had followed thus far. The game's setting also helped it immensely; the game plays more like a pirate simulator, seeing players sail the Caribbean searching out treasures and fame, gathering a sturdy ship and a hearty crew, engaging in thrilling naval battles, and basking in the warm glow of the sun-drenched sands that define the game's many islands. Along the way, you interact with a bevy of historical or mythical figures, such as Blackbeard, Captain Kidd, Calico Jack, and many more. All of this came together to create an immensely satisfying game, a standout amidst its peers and predecessors, and an experience that still stands the test of time despite the numerous sequels it has received.

2014

    2014 was the year the new generation really started to pick up. The consoles had begun to get their footing, truly ushering in the next wave of quality games and proving their value to the players. Several critically acclaimed games got their start here or saw revitalized releases on the current generation of consoles. However, there were a few strays, games that elected to release on the prior consoles first and foremost, games that wouldn't see new-gen ports for some time, and others that never did, but still merited recognition and praise. But how many will make it onto my list? Well, you'll just have to read on.

-Titanfall     Titanfall was, for me, the first game on the Xbox One that truly cemented it as a worthy purchase. It was a melting pot of ideas and innovation that I immediately fell in love with. Built with an always-online principle, Titanfall sees players engaging in a pseudo-campaign of multiple, looping competitive matches. On the surface, you could easily glance Titanfall's way and see nothing remarkable. Another first-person shooter in a sea of competitors, all of whom had far more clout at the time. But what set Titanfall apart from the start was its dedication to movement, satisfying and fast-paced gunplay, and especially, robots. See, Titanfall's whole gimmick is this; players take on the role of Pilots, better than average soldiers of the far future who are deployed in times of conflict as superior ground troops, but more importantly, heavy artillery. As pilots perform well on the battlefield, they can call in the titular Titanfall, summoning their respective Titan to the fray. Titans are large, deadly mechs that can be piloted by the player to give them a distinct advantage in battle. What this translates to in gameplay is simple; as players make their way through matches, they build up a meter which when filled allows them to call down a massive robot to wreak havoc. Every player can do this, usually multiple times a match if they're good enough. Titans are fast, tough, and lethal, and fun as hell to control. But what kept the game balanced was the fact that titans weren't invincible. All players came equipped with anti-titan weaponry, alongside their usual loadout of rifles or handguns. This meant that anyone could take a titan down if they were savvy. The titans, coupled with the frantic movement and satisfying shooting, made Titanfall a one of a kind game. It's fitting, then, that the inevitable sequel would go on to improve on it in virtually every way, but that'll have to wait for later.

-Diablo 3     I will admit to not having played this in its initial release window, in fact, some years would pass before I finally picked it up on console during a sale. And though my time with it was quite belated, I would still consider it to be a genuinely fun game, one worthy of being on this list. In Diablo 3, players choose between seven classes; Wizard, Monk, Necromancer, Witch Doctor, Demon Hunter, Barbarian, or Crusader. From there, they are thrust into the demon-plagued land of Sanctuary, beginning their adventure in the town of New Tristram. Each class has a different backstory and a slightly different narrative throughout, but the core throughline is thus; you are sent to the village to investigate reports of a falling star, only to be swept up in a fight against hell and heaven itself for the fate of the world. In terms of game difficulty, the game sports an impressive twenty difficulty tiers; easy, normal, hard, master, and then sixteen levels of torment. Should players want an even greater challenge, there's also hardcore mode, which starts you off with permadeath: you get one life, no exceptions. Die, and the character is gone for good. Overall, I would say that Diablo's biggest strength is in its gameplay loop; Diablo plays like a top-down, hack and slash role-playing game, with players exploring the various levels in search of loot all the while battling hordes of enemies and leveling up, earning new abilities and skills that players can swap out to create their ideal builds. The core gameplay loop, while simple, is wildly addictive, with a massive loot pool to chase in an effort to grow ever stronger. Each class plays differently, but all of them are easy to learn. Diablo also supports local and online multiplayer, making it a great game to play with friends or family.

-Sunset Overdrive     Sunset Overdrive is a game I've previously covered on this blog before. In fact, I'd say I did such a good job that if you want to read about it, go read that article. But if you'd rather not click away, let me give you the TL;DR. Sunset overdrive is a satirical open world game made by Insomniac in which you play as a cocky and comedic hero out to save their city from a bogus energy drink that caused a pseudo-zombie outbreak. It's built around movement, with the player grinding on rails and running on walls and doing everything they can to stay mobile while gunning down the mutated enemies and exploring the environment. It's funny and feels great to play while being hampered by an underwhelming character creator and suite of customization options, but still manages to come out on top as an immensely satisfying game.

-Destiny     Destiny is the brainchild of one Bungie studios, the original creators of Halo, the next game on this list. Fresh off their amicable split from Microsoft, Bungie did what they did best; develop a truly great FPS. But this time, they added a twist; Destiny is equal parts Shooter, Looter, and MMO. It took these three core ingredients and mixed them together with gusto, delivering an immensely entertaining game that felt incredible to play both alone or with your friends. The story of destiny is a long one, but can be summarized simply; Some years in the future, Humanity met and allied with an alien being known as the Traveller, an alliance that heralded massive technological and social leaps, ushering in the new Golden Age of humanity. Unfortunately, the Traveller's natural enemies, The Darkness, attacked the solar system, destroying much, and whittling down the last survivors to a single safe city. In response, the Traveller created Guardians, reanimated protectors infused with the Traveller's power, tasked with defending the earth and all its colonies from the encroaching forces of evil that threaten this dwindling peace. Resurrected by a ghost, an emissary of the Traveller, you play as one of these Guardians; taking on the role of either the agile Hunter, the cosmically magical Warlock, or the strong and stalwart Titan. From there, you could either progress alone or join up with friends to take on the challenges of the solar system, pushing back the forces of darkness. Although lacking in longevity in its first outing, destiny was quickly expanded and iterated upon, turning it from an already impressive game to a true powerhouse and pillar of its genre.

-Halo: The Master Chief Collection     I won't pretend this started off as a flawless, perfect compilation of prior Halo games. But I love Halo, and I loved playing these games again, so it makes the list. Especially after all of the improvements and subsequent additions 343 made to the collection post-launch. On release, it featured Halo CE, Halo 2, Halo 3, and Halo 4, but has since gone on to include Halo 3: ODST and Halo Reach as well. If you're unfamiliar, Halo is a staple franchise in the Xbox lineup, and the master chief collection sought to unify all of the prior releases under one umbrella for the newest console. Halo is a sci-fi FPS franchise, largely following the saga of the titular Master Chief Petty Officer, John-117. John, or Master Chief as he is more commonly called, is a Spartan; a supersoldier of the future, who fights to protect humanity from an alien collective dubbed The Covenant. In the first game, Master Chief crash lands on an alien ringworld known as Halo, which later turns out to be an ancient superweapon created to exterminate all sentient life in the galaxy. Subsequent games only build the stakes from there, seeing John stave off one intergalactic threat after another in a franchise that continues to satisfy time and again. What the Master Chief Collection does is bundle everything up in one convenient package, while simultaneously offering tweaks and improvements to complement the technological advancements of the new consoles. It offers local and online multiplayer, both for its story and its competitive modes. Overall, even with the flawed beginnings, I would consider The master chief collection a must-have for Xbox players.

-Grand Theft Auto V     Ah yes, GTAV, the game that refuses to die. Technically, this game released on the Xbox 360 and ps3, but it's been put on the PS4/XBO and now even the PS5 and the latest Xboxes too. I won't be surprised if this game gets ported to the consoles that come after that, too, in seven or so years. This game just won't quit. But that's also a testament to the dedication of its player base and the overall quality of the game itself. GTAV is an irreverent, biting joy of a game, replete with humor and charisma. It was, and remains, the latest in Rockstar's open-world crime franchise, in which players take on the role of not one, but three separate characters trying to make their way through life in Los Santos California; Michael, a retired crook stuck in the witness protection system, Michael's former, quite deranged partner Trevor, and rounding out the cast is Franklin, a street-savvy up and comer. Together they go about committing numerous heists, shady deals, and more than a few moments of mayhem in their quest for glory. Its secondary selling point was a robust and open-ended online mode, where players could create their own character and participate in myriad activities with and against their friends and strangers for fame, money, and clout. This is the mode that has kept GTA going in the years since its release, and it is the mode that has seen the most improvements and updates as well. I spent a not inconsiderable amount of time in it myself, but it was always the story of Michael, Trevor, and Franklin that drew me in overall.

-Tales from the Borderlands     Tales from the Borderlands is the only Telltale game I'm putting in this whole list. Not for lack of quality on the other games' parts, but simply because this one has to be my favorite. For those unfamiliar, Borderlands is a series of FPS games that take place far in the future on the fringes of space; the titular Borderlands. It follows a revolving door of ragtag Vault Hunters, people who go in search of mythical, alien "vaults" that are rumored to contain vast amounts of treasure. They are incredibly popular, addicting looter shooters that match satisfying gunplay with beautiful cell-shaded graphics, topped off with charming and funny characters and not too shabby storytelling. Telltale games, on the other hand, are traditional point and click adventure games, released in episodic formats and usually broken down into seasons. They focus on storytelling first and foremost, showcasing incredibly compelling narratives influenced by player choice. You'd think, then, that these two dichotomous formats wouldn't pair well together at all, but Tales from the Borderlands proves that sentiment is wildly false. Tales from the borderlands took what was great about previous telltale games, and matched it perfectly to an original tale set in the Borderlands universe. It weaves an incredibly compelling narrative, filled with equal parts humor and feeling, and manages to tell one of the best Borderlands stories to date.

2015

    I don't have a lot to say about 2015. The new generation was still going strong and saw some truly excellent games grace its shelves, many of whom are going to appear below.

-Bloodborne    2015 kicked off incredibly strong with Bloodborne, the latest instant classic from the studio behind the equally popular Dark Souls franchise. Bloodborne melds the skill-oriented, punishing combat and exploration heavy maps of the Souls games with an eldritch, psychological atmosphere, a match so perfect it went together like peanut butter and chocolate. To espouse the story of Bloodborne would be an effort in itself, but  I shall do my best to summarize it; Shirking the more medieval settings of the Souls games before it, Bloodborne sees players navigating the victorian gothic town of Yarnham, a city plagued by beasts and monsters. It is these monsters you are tasked with dispatching, taking on the role of a Hunter of Beasts, sent to cleanse the town of that which ails it. But not is all as it seems, and the beasts may not be the only monsters Yarnham has to offer. Outside of its interpretive yet incredibly strong narrative, Bloodborne offered equally polished gameplay, iterating on the previously mentioned combat from prior dark souls games to create a punishing yet wildly satisfying gameplay loop that was easy to learn yet hard to master. Bloodborne forced players to always be on their guard but gave them no shield or barrier with which to do so, believing that offense was the greatest defense, making success hinge on your willingness to fight and your skill in surviving the nightmares that Yarnham had to offer. A melding of horror, action, and exploration, Bloodborne was a true success, cementing itself for years to come as a top tier action-RPG, and saw countless fans that remain dedicated to it to this day.

-The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt     I'm going to be blunt; This is one of my favorite games of the last generation. It is a top tier RPG, made up of an incredibly charming cast of characters, a beautiful open world, and a thrilling, fantastical narrative that all come together to make one of the best games to release in the last seven years. Though a sequel to not only two prior games, but also a long line of books, The Witcher 3 was surprisingly friendly to newcomers, of which I was one at the time. Despite its pedigree, I felt right at home in the world of the Witcher, quickly picking up on what I had missed in its long and storied life. The Witcher 3 puts players in the role of Geralt of Rivia, the titular Witcher, a magically enhanced human tasked with routing out monsters that threaten the world of man. This time around, Geralt is searching for his ward, Ciri, as he navigates a world fraught with monsters and men in equal measure. what starts as a simple search for a missing friend quickly blossoms into an adventure for the fate of the world itself. Though a fantasy RPG at its heart, the witcher manages to tell some particularly grounded and human stories, and this game is no exception. One moment will see you stalking a beast out in the wild, the next will see you navigating political intrigue in the courts of royalty. But it all flows together to create one of the best RPGs I've ever played, and one that earned a not inconsiderable amount of well-deserved praise when it first debuted back in 2015.

-Assassin's Creed Syndicate     Hot off the heels of the muddied AC Unity, Syndicate was the last proper Assassin's Creed game before the franchise would experience a massive genre and gameplay shift in its next entry. Where Unity saw too much focus on graphics and not enough care anywhere else, Syndicate finely balances all of its parts to create an impressive experience overall. This time around, players get to visit London, at the tail end of its industrial revolution. Out goes flintlocks and swords, in came steam and steel. This entry sees players in the role of both Evie and Jacob Frye, siblings fresh off their induction into the Assassin Brotherhood, tasked with dispatching justice on their Templar foes across London. The setting isn't the only big change for this game, as Syndicate saw an overhaul in both visual quality, scale, and gameplay. London feels lived large and lived in, with plenty of ground to explore and streets filled with people going about their day-to-day. Missions are split between Jacob and Evie both, with some allowing you to pick and choose and others forcing you into the shoes of one or the other as they work together to clean up the city. It innovated on the traditional gameplay loop, with this game having you going from borough to borough, toppling its templar leaders and expanding your sphere of influence with the aid of historical figures like Charles Darwin, Karl Marx, and Nikola Tesla. These famous faces are not the only people lending the Fryes their helping hand, as Syndicate also put the Fryes in charge of their own street gang, a ragtag group of brawlers and scouts that would come to their aid at the press of a button. Most times, conquering a borough involved you and your gang scrapping it out with those of the templar order, dusting knuckles to see who got the final say in the control of the area. This may seem at odds with the traditionally stealth-oriented approach prior games focused on, but that side of the game was not neglected either. Assassination missions saw fine-tuning and innovation as well, with players able to plan out and partake in uniquely tailored kills that matched the locale and personality of their target, from disguising yourself as a scientific cadaver to kill a corrupt doctor to allying with a guard and feigning capture to infiltrate and kill a target in the Tower of London. The game saw improvements out of combat as well, with Syndicate receiving a large overhaul in its parkour movement and general navigation. The Frye twins come equipped with a grappling hook that allows for speedy travel across London's many rooftops, while ground travel was made all the more expedient with the inclusion of horse-drawn carriages. The general parkour itself was also tuned, allowing for freer player movement and tighter directional control. All of this to say, Syndicate saw some truly welcomed improvements, iterating on the legacy and creating a lasting impression that stands up as one of the better games of the franchise.

-Star Wars Battlefront     While I've spoken of a Battlefront on this blog before, this is not that same game. Rather, this is Battlefront 2015, a soft reboot to the previous Battlefront line of games for the new generation of consoles. This Star Wars Battlefront was helmed and developed by Dice, famed for the Battlefield franchise, a line of competent and entertaining military-focused first-person shooters. They were known for solid campaigns, but more importantly, massive scale competitive multiplayer modes. This pedigree is shown heavily in Battlefront, with the game sporting 64 players competitive multiplayer, with teams taking on the roles of either the empire or the rebellion as they fight their way through maps taken straight from the star wars universe, from the snowy plains of Hoth to the immense forests of Endor and everywhere in between. The game was replete with game modes and had the ability to be played in either first or third person. Players were given access to a modest selection of in-universe weaponry, and could even take the role of recognizable star wars heroes on occasion. Visually, the game was stunning, with incredibly faithful and detailed recreations from everything to weapons to the maps themselves. It felt like a genuine passion project, built from the ground up by competent developers and made for fans and first-timers alike. Battlefront, much like many games on this list, has since been usurped by a sequel but remains an incredibly competent shooter and a genuinely fun game to play.

2016

    While 2015 saw the release of some truly impressive games, 2016 was a genuine powerhouse of a year. It saw the rise to prominence of Virtual Reality, through the oculus rift and the PlayStation VR. 2016 also saw the first re-released console of the current generation, in the form of the Playstation 4 Pro, a trend that Xbox would follow as well, seeing the release of 2016's Xbox One S, and in 2017, the Xbox One X. These were touted as faster, better performing, better-looking consoles than their base model predecessors, offering several enhancements to graphical fidelity and console performance, running games even better than they already did. And with these new consoles came an all-star suite of excellent games, a multitude of instant classics from big-name studios and fresh indie developers alike. Many of the games that released this year are ones I've individually covered before, but they still deserve their spot in this article. So without further ado, here are some of the most noteworthy games of 2016.

-Oxenfree     Where Bloodborne was the standout hit that kicked off 2015, Oxenfree did the exact same thing for 2016. Developed by the California based indie team at Night School Studios, Oxenfree is a supernaturally infused, slice of life adventure game that follows Alex, a witty, rebellious, soon to be high school graduate as she makes her way to the fictional Edwards Island, accompanied by her best friend Ren and new stepbrother Jonah. This small group of friends is meeting up with what they assume will be a large group to have a weekend bash, But what was supposed to be a boisterous weekend party turns out to just be two extra guests; Clarissa, a fellow student who has ties to Alex, and Nona, a mild-mannered girl who just so happens to be Ren's current crush. Their modest get together quickly goes south when Alex uses a small handheld radio to tune into a weird signal emanating from the island, unleashing the spirits of a sunken military submarine, long since lost at sea. These wayward souls possess one of the kids and scatter the rest across the island, forcing Alex to uncover the mystery of their death and find a way to save her friends and escape the island. The game wears its inspirations on its sleeve, taking queues from classic ghost stories as much as it does retro coming of age stories, but it adapts these ideas masterfully. As for how it plays, Oxenfree is a side scrolling point and click adventure game, built around exploration and dialogue rather than complex game mechanics. It explores the interpersonal relationships between all the characters as much as it explores the haunted nature of the island itself. It easily shifts between these disparate tones, with a story filled with as many supernatural spooks as sarcastic teenage banter, seamlessly integrating player choice into the mix to create a truly excellent narrative. Oxenfree also features a high amount of replayability, with player choice going on to influence which of the game's many endings, as well as touting a new game plus mode that adds an extra smattering of content for your subsequent playthroughs. Oxenfree was a gift that kept on giving, more than earning its spot on this list.

-Firewatch     Firewatch is the first of several 2016 games I've previously written about, and while my opinion of it may have not been the highest initially, ruminating on it since has led me to a new appreciation of the time I spent with it. I would recommend reading my original review, but the short summary is thus; you play as Henry, a man on the run from his troubles who takes a job in the Shoshone national forest, keeping an eye on the wildlife and ensuring nothing is amiss. Your companion through the game is Delilah, a voice through your walkie talkie, somebody else who has taken the same job as you over in one of the adjacent watchtowers. Throughout the game you explore the forest, keeping the area safe while exploring the mysteries of the area you now inhabit, all the while developing a friendly relationship with Delilah as you go. It's a simple, but satisfying first-person adventure game, with an emotionally charged but comedic narrative about one man's journey to get lost and find himself.

-Stardew Valley     Stardew Valley is a retro-inspired simulator game about a down and out office worker who inherits their grandfather's farm in the titular Stardew Valley. They leave their mundane life behind and embark on a new journey in rural life, building up the farm from a rundown, untamed field into a bustling agricultural powerhouse, all the while making friends and forming bonds with the locals that you meet along the way. Stardew plays like a dream and features a stunning pixellated art style that complements its easygoing nature. Stardew is a game you can get lost in with ease, featuring an incredibly satisfying gameplay loop; It's a charmingly simple sim, one that encourages players to make their own way and their own choices, with a multitude of different ways to spend each in-game day. You're encouraged to play the game at your own pace, experiencing its range of content as it comes, rather than being railroaded into any one path for progression. It's a game that encourages exploration, diversity, and freedom, one that never really ends. Stardew made waves when it first came out for being such an open-ended, friendly experience, and it has since gone on to be heavily expanded upon by its developer, seeing releases on even more platforms and accruing even more fans along the way. It's a game that's easy to love and hard to put down, a comfort food game that makes you want to revisit it time and again.

-Titanfall 2     Where the original Titanfall was an excellent Xbox exclusive, Titanfall 2 bloomed the franchise into a multiplatform powerhouse. While it kept the excellent multiplayer modes, Titanfall 2's biggest change was the inclusion of a proper single-player story, and it's this inclusion that sees Titanfall 2 earn a place on my list. Titanfall 2's campaign is short, but sweet, seeing players take on the role of Jack Cooper, a pilot in training under the mentorship of an experienced soldier named Lastimosa. Unfortunately, on their first field mission, Lastimosa is killed, forcing Jack to embrace his future role as Pilot in an effort to survive and keep Lastimosa's experimental Titan out of enemy hands. This Titan, given the codename BT, is unique among Titans in that it can freely equip the various titan weapons and abilities, while simultaneously having an expanded AI that allows it to perform better in combat than its contemporaries. Together, Jack and BT make their way through the Frontier, coming into conflict with the varied enemy forces that they were originally sent in to stop. The campaign is brief, but what it lacks in lengths it makes up for in entertainment; the banter between Jack and BT makes for some great dialogue, and the campaign is perfectly built around the shooting and movement tech that made the first Titanfall so distinct, creating a series of levels that are just as built around gunfights as they are around precise first-person platforming. The game's environments are also beautiful to look at, varying from gritty industrial complexes to lush jungle environments that are as nice to look at as they are to maneuver through. Accompanying the stellar story mode is the recurring suite of multiplayer offerings, all of which have been upgraded and improved upon to complement the innovations of the sequel. Where Titanfall was good, Titanfall 2 is great, and it's a continual shame the series hasn't been given more time to shine.

-The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Special Edition     This is another game that I've previously covered on my blog, and it's also another technicality. See, Skyrim technically released back in 2011 but saw so many re-releases in the years afterward that at this point the only device that doesn't natively play it are phones. With this particular re-release, Bethesda sought to give console players the same quality of life changes that PC players had been seeing for years, namely graphical improvements, stability patches, and most importantly, player-created content. Skyrim had developed a bustling and dedicated community of creators in its years since release, all of whom had made countless mods for the game that ranged anywhere from simple tweaks to full-on expansion sized stories, and the special edition release marked the first time Xbox and Playstation fans could get their hands on this library of unique content. It created a situation where the already hefty game could be made all the more robust with fan contributions. Don't like the music? Download one of the unique music packs somebody put together. Want any number of pop culture-inspired items? Looking for some new quests to spice up this five-year-old game? It's all there and more.

-Watch Dogs 2     You might be wondering why I've put Watch Dogs 2 on this list while its predecessor is nowhere to be found. While the first Watch Dogs was a middling revenge story that happened to incorporate some neat hacking based features, Watch Dogs 2 is where the franchise really found itself. It follows the story of one Marcus Holloway, a bright and witty young man who's been framed for a crime he didn't commit by a faulty surveillance network that monitors the city of Los Angeles in a pseudo-dystopic future not so removed from our own. So Marcus does what he does best, hacks into the network and removes himself from it entirely, embarking on a campaign to take the whole system down with the help of white hat hacker collective Deadsec. What sets this game apart from its predecessor is the charisma of its cast and the far more varied ways in which you can use the game's technology to your advantage. Hijack cameras, remote control vehicles, manipulate streetlights, the world of Watch Dogs 2 is yours to manipulate all at the press of a button. And if hacking doesn't get you where you need to be, Marcus has some skills of his own; he's particularly skilled at parkour and quite handy at non-lethally dispatching foes with a weapon of his own design, a billiard ball attached to a bungee cord. And if playing non-lethally isn't your thing, you can also accumulate quite the arsenal of homemade weaponry, all 3D printed from the base of your hacker collective. Watch Dogs 2 is a game about a group of people trying to take down a corrupt system using whatever means they can. It's a witty, satirical, but surprisingly grounded story told across a beautiful open-world recreation of Los Angeles, one that drew me in far more than its predecessor ever managed to do.

2017

    2017 might not have had the same pedigree of games as its predecessor, but it did see the belated release of the latest current-gen console; The Nintendo Switch. A revolutionary step up from the Wii and Wii U, The Switch took the gaming world by storm thanks to its ability to seamlessly transition from a home console playing on your TV to a handheld console able to go with you anywhere. The Switch remains a staple of the console market to this day, easily standing tall next to the Playstation and Xbox consoles both new and old. Aside from the Switch, there was still a healthy collection of games for people to enjoy, some of which will be highlighted below.

-Night in the Woods     Night in the Woods marks yet another game I've personally reviewed, and also stands proud as one of my absolute favorites of this generation. A humble offering from indie studio Infinite Fall, it was a gorgeously animated sidescroller of an adventure game that followed college dropout Mae Borowski as she returns to her small home town of Possum Springs to rekindle old friendships and reconnect with her family. Despite its anthropomorphic cast, it tells a genuinely human story, one that perfectly reflected what it feels like to revisit old haunts; how things can be so familiar yet change so much, seamlessly blending an emotionally charged narrative with a dark, suspenseful hometown mystery. Night in the Woods remains an absolutely incredible game to experience, showcasing themes like mental illness, sexuality, and identity through the lens of youthful wit and clever, dry sarcasm. I haven't played many truly perfect games, but Night in the Woods came damned close to being one.

-Kingdom Hearts 1.5/2.5     Ah yes, another collection of re-releases. Kingdom Hearts technically started back on the PS2, with the release of Kingdom Hearts 1. From there it blossomed into an incredibly diverse and lengthy franchise that saw releases on consoles and handhelds alike, from the PS2 to the Gameboy Advance. What these re-releases did was bundle all of the Kingdom Hearts games into one complete package, and tossed them all onto the PlayStation 4. It created a cohesive collection for this storied saga and presented it all in an easy to follow order that anyone could pick up and work through. Both games also offered the previously exclusive Final Mix content to the west for the first time, expanding on the already hefty games with more difficulty options, more enemies, more story content, and more challenges to keep the fun going and going. But what is Kingdom Hearts, I hear some people ask. Kingdom hearts is a series of action RPGs that follow the adventures of heroes known as Keyblade Wielders as they fight against the forces of darkness that threaten the worlds beyond. They play great, feature an especially enjoyable cast of characters, and tells a heartwarming story of good and evil. A joint project between Square Enix and Disney, Kingdom Hearts features an abundance of Disney characters and worlds, crossing over with various Square Enix properties in this epic struggle against light and dark. That's the easiest summary of the story by far, as delving any deeper would almost certainly confuse the casual reader, but let me say this; The Kingdom Hearts games are fantastic, well worth the time, and with these remastered collections, more approachable than ever.

-Nier Automata     Nier Automata is a tough game to talk about in-depth, on account of just how easy it is to spoil for people who haven't experienced it. But it was also one of my favorite games of 2017, so I'll do my best to give it its due. Nier Automata is somewhat of a hybrid game; it blends so many genres together but somehow manages to do each one of them justice. Equal parts open world, action RPG, Bullet Hell, and more, Nier Automata takes place in the far, far future, in the ruins of earth. Humanity has long since abandoned the planet and sought shelter on the moon, entrusting a group of humanoid androids to defend the planet from an encroaching alien threat. The story follows several of these androids; 2B, 9S, and A2, as they wander the ruins of humanity and fight back against the robot foes that the aliens use as soldiers. It tells an amazing story that all but demands subsequent replays to get the full breadth of its narrative weight across, with each subsequent playthrough seen through the eyes of one of the other characters. Equal parts sci-fi story and humanist breakdown, Nier Automata is a deconstructive, philosophical pondering wrapped in the guise of an anime action game. That's not to say it doesn't wear the disguise well; Nier Automata plays like a dream, with stylish combat and an accompanying score that makes for easy listening both in and out of the game. It's another must-play, especially with the remake/remaster of its predecessor soon to release in 2021.

-Persona 5/Persona 5 Royal     Persona 5 is an absolute joy of an RPG. It's slick, stylish, has a superb soundtrack, and tells a top tier story to boot. You take the role of a down-and-out high school kid who's been forced to transfer from his hometown in the countryside to Tokyo, thanks to a bogus police incident. Labeled a criminal and looked down on by the adults of his new school, the protagonist goes about bettering himself, raising his grades, and making the most of his new life in a new city. He forms bonds and relationships with the people around him, making fast friends with many of his classmates and even some chill adults along the way. Oh, he can also use a supernatural phone app to dive into the corrupted hearts of society, utilizing a special power to battle the evils that lie within and force them to change their ways and confess their deeds. Herein lies the dichotomy of the Persona 5; Much like the other Persona games that preceded it, the story it tells is a hybrid of supernatural mystery and coming of age drama, blending mundane highschool life with a fantasy adventure. It is equal parts life simulator and stylish role-playing game, as you and your friends do their best to repair a broken system using the fantastical powers they've been imbued with. These powers are the titular Persona, powerful creatures that embody the sides of ourselves we keep hidden behind the masks of society. These personas allow one to do battle with the shadows that lurk within these corrupted hearts, creatures that take on myriad forms inspired by religion and myth. Wielding this power, they embark on a journey of social reform, fighting a revolving door of less than scrupulous individuals that all culminating in a battle to change society itself. In spite of its overtly fantastical elements, the story it tells is decidedly grounded and surprisingly relatable; at its core, Persona 5 is about a collective of disenfranchised individuals trying their best to make it through life and change things for the better, a story that was and remains especially poignant and a welcomed escapist fantasy to fall into time and again.

-Slime Rancher     Slime Rancher is an adorable simulator game and one I've praised before on my blog. It blends first-person shooter elements with the farming simulator genre, tasking players to manage and explore a planet on the fringes of space that's almost entirely populated by a race of creatures known as Slime. Slimes come in a varied selection of types and sizes, but all of them have one universal similarity; they all produce a resource known as a Plort that you can trade to an intergalactic trade center for currency, which in turn allows you to upgrade your slime farm and expand into new territories. The gameplay loop is nothing but fun, with each new expansion bringing in new species of slime that you can wrangle and combine to make hybrids that in turn create more valuable plorts. As you make your way through the planet, you start uncovering logs left behind by your farm's prior owner, that weave a narrative of love and loss, a story that drives you forward in your quest if only to see how it concludes. You're not alone in this quest, though, as you have your slimes for company as well as several long-distance conversations via the computer in your home between friends and fellow farmers alike. Subsequent game updates have only expanded upon the experience, seeing new opportunities for trade, daily activities, and more, making an already invigorating and enjoyable game all the more so.

-Destiny 2     It's no secret that Destiny 2 had a complicated launch window. Many fans felt that Destiny 2 left too much of what made its predecessor great on the cutting room floor, electing instead to reset the player base back to zero and tell a brand new story. While I missed some of what Destiny 2 left behind, I was still somebody who found a lot of joy in Destiny 2, as evidenced by the thousand-plus hour count it tells me I've poured into it since its 2017 release. The game has also seen countless improvements and additions in the years since its release, adopting a new seasonal model and even going free to play after a point. Most recently, Destiny 2 saw the release of Beyond Light, the first in a new trilogy of expansions that hopes to continue the game forward over the next few years. So, while it might have had a rough start, it still remains destiny at its core, making it one of the best shooters on the market, coupled with a satisfying loot hunt and a rewarding structure that continues to keep its fans coming back for more. That alone lands it in my list of games for 2017, and the generation as a whole.

-The Sims 4    Though this game technically saw the light of day back in 2014, I didn't end up playing it until its console release here in 2017. Thus, I place it here. There isn't a lot of complication with Sims 4. If you're at all familiar with its predecessors, you know exactly what to expect. An engaging simulator game, in which you craft an individual or family and set them on the path of life, influencing them as they go or leaving them to their own fates so as to see what happens. You tailor their looks, personality, aesthetic...it's a premier example of micromanagement as entertainment. This installment shirked some of the advancements made by its predecessor but still manages to be a robust and enjoyable game all on its own, made all the better by continued additional content releases in the years since its premiere. It's a game that keeps on giving and seems primed to continue doing so for some time yet.

2018

    2018 saw the release of some genuinely top-shelf games, with the Switch continuing to establish itself against its contemporaries, while the Playstation continued to add excellent exclusives to its lineup.

-Far Cry 5     The Far Cry games have always been known for being competent shooters with large open worlds, and this one is no exception. Shirking the usual foreign locales, Far Cry 5 takes place a lot closer to home, seeing players cleaning up the rural backwoods of Montana, taking place in the fictional Hope County. In it, you play as a rookie cop sent in to apprehend an evangelical doomsday cultist; John Seed, The Father. This arrest quickly goes south, leaving you as the last lawman willing to stand up to the Seed family and free Hope County from their grasp. To do so, you systematically break the hold of his lieutenants, dismantling their bases of operations and taking down his associates in a slow climb to face him once more. Along the way you make friends and allies out of the locals, people with a similar drive to rise up and clean up their county. As far as the gameplay, Far Cry 5 is a mix of FPS and RPG elements, with a rudimentary character customization system and plenty of powerful guns to acquire. You level up and earn skills that augment your preferred style of play, be it stealthy or over the top, all in your pursuit of justice. Augmenting this quest is the world it takes place in, with players exploring lush forests, vibrant fields, and the general detritus of rural America. Hope county feels real, with looks to match, despite its farcical tone and over the top gameplay. All of this came together to make a Far Cry that felt fresh and fun, a genuine step forward for the franchise.

-God of War     Prior games in the God of War series were not known for subtlety, nuance, or humanity. Rather, they were violent hack and slash games that featured the titular God of War, Kratos, seeking and exacting bloody revenge on the greek pantheon for their slights against him and his family. They were by no means bad games, but they weren't what I would consider masterpieces either. Then, we were given God of War (2017). This soft reboot/Sequel for the franchise saw Kratos embarking on a distinctly more grounded story than its predecessors, navigating the perils of fatherhood while on a journey to deliver his late wife's ashes in the world of the Norse Pantheon. He is joined by his son, Atreus, a bright but rebellious young boy who seeks only to prove his worth to the gruff and distant Kratos. This more human story is accompanied by a more grounded approach to combat and gameplay; while it retains the emphasis on action, it feels more deliberate than prior entries, shifting the combat style from the hack and slash nature to a more measured approach, with players needing to conserve stamina and plan their attacks lest they get easily overwhelmed. The game also incorporates a more open world structure than its predecessors, seeing Kratos and his son freely traversing their environment, unlocking shortcuts, and finding means to double back on past areas in a level progression that feels more like a Souls game than the God of Wars of old. All of this came together to make a game that felt genuinely innovative, a fresh new direction for a pre-established franchise that was as welcoming to newcomers as it was to prior fans.

-Donut County     Donut County is a silly, short indie puzzle game in which you play as a mischievous raccoon delivering "donuts" to the unsuspecting populous around him. These donuts are, in fact, large sinkholes that expand as they eat different objects, eventually growing to swallow the entirety of the lot they were sent to. The core gameplay lies in this concept, with you controlling the various sinkholes from level to level, figuring out the order in which to consume the various objects on each map in order to grow in size. As the game progresses you unlock various upgrades to these sinkholes, like the ability to spit things out of them, adding new layers to the simple puzzles the game encapsulates. It isn't a terribly long game, as already said, only taking an hour or two to finish, but it cemented itself as a charming indie game amidst a sea of big-name titles.

-Marvel's Spider-Man     Developed by Insomniac, previously mentioned in the Sunset Overdrive excerpt, Marvel's Spider-Man is a rare example of a genuinely amazing superhero game. In it, players take on the role of Peter Parker, a Spider-Man who has already established himself as the hero we know and love, but one that still has room to grow and learn. What starts off as a triumphant takedown of one Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin, soon blossoms into a complicated web that involves a shady group known as the Demons that Spider-Man must stop from wreaking havoc on the city. But the game isn't just about the Heroics of Spider-Man; The Game showcases the best aspects of Peter's character, splitting the game equally between his time as Spider-Man and his normal life as Peter Parker, a scientist working under the apprenticeship of one Otto Octavius, while simultaneously working with his Aunt May at the local Homeless Shelter and trying to rekindle his forlorn relationship with Mary Jane. All of this unfurls simultaneously, weaving a web that melds incredible movement with fast and stylish combat, stellar characters, and a heartwarming tale, cementing itself not only as a great game but also as one of the best Spider-Man stories out there.

-The Missing: JJ Macfield and the Island of Memories     The Missing is a heartfelt, down to earth story told through the lens of a grisly but goofy premise. In it, you play as the titular JJ Macfield, a young girl who goes on a trip with her close friend Emily to a remote island off the coast of Maine. What is supposed to be a fun excursion takes a turn for the worse, as Emily goes missing, leaving JJ to track her down. Unfortunately, this quest quickly leads JJ to her death...but not for long. Resurrected by a bolt of lightning, JJ gains the ability to remove various parts of her body, as the island quickly goes from an idyllic wonderland to a psychedelic nightmare. Undeterred, JJ uses her newfound ability to traverse the island, ever searching for her lost friend. The Missing might sound like a horror game on paper, but it uses these macabre themes to tell a distinctly grounded story about dealing with personal identity and navigating a hostile and unfamiliar world, culminating in a heartbreakingly bittersweet twist that I won't spoil here. This is all to say; the Missing is an excellent game. It's a joy to play, despite its harrowing content, and it manages to convey its themes in a way that feels genuine and meaningful, telling a story that's still relevant to this day.

-Super Smash Brothers Ultimate     Smash games have always been good, and Ultimate more than earns its moniker. This is the Ultimate Smash game; iterating on its predecessors without changing anything for the worst, Ultimate is an unabashed love letter to the series as a whole, incorporating every character and every map from every prior game all in one upgraded package. If you don't know what Smash is, let me explain; Nintendo is known for a lot of fantastic first-party titles, from Mario to Kirby to Metroid, and countless others. Smash takes all of these well-loved characters, throws them in an arena, and has them fight for supremacy. Debuting on the Nintendo 64, Smash has seen one major game release for every Nintendo console since, culminating in Smash Ultimate on the Nintendo Switch. As earlier stated, it features an absolutely enormous roster of playable characters, featuring every fighter from the previous games and several new additions for good measure. This roster was only further expanded with the release of the fighter passes, seeing an additional eleven fighters across the two that have thus far been released, ranging from surprise hits like Persona 5's Joker to fan favorites like Banjo and Kazooie. While not featuring a traditional story mode, Ultimate makes good use of its characters in a suite of different game modes that can be played both alone or with friends, online or locally. It's a fantastic party game and an equally praiseworthy fighter, rewarding skilled play but catering to casual players and newcomers alike.

2019

    2019 marked the slowdown for the current generation, shadowed by the whispers of a new age of consoles. This made for a simple year for games, but one no less stacked with noteworthy games and worthwhile experiences.

-Kingdom Hearts 3     After years of waiting, 2019 finally saw the release of Kingdom Hearts 3. The wait might have been long, but the game delivered on the hype, simultaneously closing out the narrative arc that had begun so long ago with Kingdom Hearts 1 and beginning a new chapter for fans to look forward to. In service of this goal, Kingdom Hearts 3 wrapped up the majority of dangling storylines from all the previous games, while still leaving a handful of mysteries to chase into the future of the franchise. It featured a new suite of Disney worlds to explore, and incorporated Pixar properties for the first time in franchise history. The new content accompanied refined and polished gameplay mechanics and a complete visual overhaul, while still retaining the heart and soul that defined the games thus far. It all came together well enough but was later expanded upon through the release of Re: Mind, the game's beefy expansion that rebalanced gameplay and added in hours of new story content to better cap off the story. All told, Kingdom Hearts 3 was another great game, building on a legacy that seems like it will continue well into the future.

-Devil May Cry 5     For those not in the know, Devil May Cry is a series of games that follow the life of Dante, a half-demon sword for hire as he does his best to kill monsters and eat pizza. It's a franchise known for skillful, precise, stylish combat mixed with goofy, over the top stories, usually involving Dante and his associates contending with the fallout of his family, the demon king Sparda and his brother Vergil. While not a flawless franchise, it saw several excellent releases over the years, but then went depressingly dormant. Devil May Cry 5 was the perpetual waiting game, but 2019 saw it finally come out, accompanied by mass acclaim and praise. it really seemed like all the years of waiting were well rewarded. DMCV features three playable characters; Nero, a fellow demon hunter first introduced in Devil May Cry 4, Dante, the series' staple protagonist, and lastly the mysterious V, a newly introduced character for this game. Together the three were tasked with working together to take down the demonic Qliphoth and its master, Urizen, an immensely powerful demon lord. The game looks gorgeous, marking the first time the games have looked truly next-gen. Accompanying this boost in visual fidelity is the franchise's staple; combat was finely tuned to be more stylish than ever, with each character having a variety of tricks at their disposal to dispatch the demon hoard that stood between them and Urizen. Devil May Cry was back, and it was better than ever.

-Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night     Bloodstained is the spiritual successor to the Castlevania series, helmed by its most prominent contributor Koji Igarashi. Starting its life as nothing more than a simple Kickstarter, it blew through its funding goal and a few years later saw its release on the current generation of consoles.  It's not a particularly complicated game, but it is particularly fun, with it adapting many of the staples that made Castlevania so great. As a spiritual successor to Castlevania, the games play very similarly; both are side scrolling hack and slash games that take place in fantastical gothic castles, and both see protagonists with varied combat and magical aptitude on their quest to take down the castle's owner. In the case of Castlevania, that owner is Dracula, but in the case of Bloodstained, players are tasked with defeating Gebel, an alchemically modified human known as a Shardbinder. You play as another one of these Shardbinders, Miriam. Miriam and Gebel are the lone survivors of an alchemical experiment that gave them the ability to wield a power called shards, crystalline embodiments of demonic essence. The narrative is simple, but the gameplay is where it shines; as players progress through Gebel's castle, you can accumulate more and more shards, all of which give Miriam access to new abilities, abilities that go on to aid her in her continued exploration. This creates a very satisfying loop; explore the castle, collect shards, unlock more of the castle to explore. Augmenting her shards are a suite of craftable and upgradeable weaponry, a selection of melee and firearms that allows players to diversify their preferred playstyle and experiment with what works best in any given situation. Subsequent content additions have added even more to the game, in the form of new modes, difficulties, and playable characters, adding to the replayability and longevity of what was already an excellent experience. Despite starting from simple roots, Bloodstained rose up and became something all on its own, paying homage to its inspirations while cementing a name for itself as a new staple of the genre.

-Catherine Full Body     While originally releasing in 2011, 2019 saw an expanded re-release complete with new characters, new stages, and hours of extra story content. At its core, Catherine and its Full Body re-release are unique gems in the gaming world. One part puzzle game, one part dating simulator, it blends the complicated world of relationships with macabre block puzzles, all the while weaving a beautiful tapestry about one man's quest for love. In it, you take the role of Vincent Brooks, an unambitious 30-something simply going through the motions of life. He has a steady relationship and a stable job, a group of colorful and enthusiastic friends, but it's clear from the start just how much he's stagnated. His current girlfriend, Katherine, is starting to ask the big questions; marriage, children, their future. Unable to parse these ideas, he loses himself in his time at the local bar with his pals, shooting the shit and getting sloshed. That is, until, a new flame suddenly appears; the seductive temptress Catherine. One thing leads to another, and it comes to pass that they spend the night together...maybe. This is where the game's narrative really kicks off, with Vincent having to navigate the day to day, attempting to reconcile his long-time love with his possible new fling. This story is juxtaposed against the game's core gameplay loop, which sees Vincent forced to climb the deadly tower of babel each night in his dreams. To do this, players must stack blocks and avoid the perils and traps that each stage presents, making a mad dash to the top of the tower before the bottom collapses in on itself and Vincent plummets to his doom. For you see, this isn't an ordinary dream; if you die on the tower, you die in real life, making this desperate ascent a race for his very life. Each stage of the tower represents the game's various core themes, and each gets more and more complicated as the game progresses. In the interim of these climbs, players are set about answering multiple-choice inquiries that influence the direction of Vincent's relationships, with each answer adjusting a conspicuous morality meter that eventually comes to determine which of the 8 endings you could attain. With Full Body, this number was increased to 13, to adjust for the inclusion of a new paramour; Rin, a mysterious piano player that sets up shop in Vincent's favorite bar. Both Catherine and its Full Body re-release are excellent games, but I was especially smitten with the layers of extra content and story that Full Body brought to the table, additions that made Full Body one of my favorite games of 2019.

-Untitled Goose Game     Untitled goose game is a simple premise on paper; players take on the role of an ornery, mischievous goose as it wreaks havoc through a small English town. Equal parts puzzle and stealth game, the goose has a laundry list of tasks it seeks to complete, from stealing hats off people's heads to infiltrating the local pub. It's not a long game by any means, but it has a ton of replayability in the form of additional tasks and challenges that only present themselves after your first playthrough. These range from time-based completions to additional bouts of mischief and all of them are incredibly satisfying to chase down. Untitled Goose Game has a quaint, painterly art style that compliments the charming simplicity of the game's premise, accompanied by a dynamic, classically-toned score that rises and falls in prominence as you go about your goosely business. All said Untitled Goose Game is a genuine treat, a brief but whimsical game that's just about having fun and goofing around.

2020

    It's no secret that 2020 has been a rough year for a lot of folks. Between a pandemic, political controversy, and general drudgery, it's a year that feels like it can't end soon enough. But in spite of it all, 2020 was also a fantastic year for games. Serving as the last hurrah for the Xbox One and Playstation 4, we saw the release of some truly excellent stories that kept players going through the long months of an otherwise mediocre year.

-Animal Crossing: New Horizons     Releasing right at the start of widespread quarantine, New Horizons supplied people with something they couldn't easily do in their own lives; escape. Animal Crossing New Horizons is the perfect escapist fantasy for the year it released in, seeing players partaking in an island getaway in the hopes of colonizing and forming an idyllic town on an untamed paradise.  At their core, the animal crossing games are simple simulators. You create your character by selecting a few presets; hair, eyes, skin color, and then you're let free to explore your new locale. With this latest release, that locale is the aforementioned island, a small paradise in the sea dotted by trees and rivers, accented by flowers and weeds. You start your life on this new Island with a handful of other residents; the Nook Family, the proprietors of this island venture, and two random villagers who are looking to make a life on this island the same as you. Things start small, with everyone working together to set up tents and create a bonfire and find some food for a welcome party. Afterward, the game synchronizes itself to your console's date and time and sets you off on your way. Unlike other simulators on this list, Animal Crossing is a unique breed, running concurrently to the real world, continuously progressing in real-time. Flowers grow, trees produce fruit, and each day is a new adventure. It follows the general turn of the seasons for your respective hemisphere, celebrating holidays and alternating available activities with each passing day. As for what you can do yourself, the opportunities are legion; you can catch bugs, go fishing, search for fossils, chat up your villagers, visit other islands, and much more. As you progress, more ventures open their doors to you; catch enough bugs and fish, and you can elect to have a museum built to showcase your finds. Collect enough resources, and you can build new furniture and create plots of land that encourage more villagers to come and move to your island. Everything you do is in service of continued growth, but also serves just as simple fun, a charming, easygoing distraction from the concerns of the day-to-day.

-Final Fantasy VII Remake     The Final Fantasy franchise is a long and storied one, replete with highs and lows. One such high was 1997's Final Fantasy 7, a game that quickly cemented itself as a fan favorite and an absolute classic. Now, in 2020, FF7 is back...sort of. See, FF7 Remake is the first in a line of games that will eventually go on to tell the entirety of the original FF7's story, which means that this release is only the first portion of a much larger narrative. Adapting what was originally the first few hours of the original game, FF7 Remake expands upon the opening section of its predecessor, simultaneously remaking the old content for modern audiences and adding in new aspects for old fans. FF7 Remake improves upon the original in practically every way, serving as a genuine remake that still manages to retain what made that original game so memorable and important to fans. The game might be new, but the heart is the same; FF7 Remake follows the story of Cloud Strife, an ex SOLDIER turned mercenary hired by an eclectic group known as Avalanche to dismantle a local power plant that's poisoning the planet. What starts as a well-intentioned but extreme case of eco-terrorism quickly explodes (pun intended) into a much larger story that sees Cloud and Avalanche bringing the fight straight to the corrupt Shinra Corporation and beyond, culminating in a battle against fate itself. Because this remake only covers a portion of what will go on to be a much larger narrative, it only scratches the surface of what makes the original FF7 so great, but it does so with gusto; the game plays and looks better than ever, bringing with it a heartfelt and compelling narrative that keeps you hooked the whole way through.

-Minecraft Dungeons     Minecraft Dungeons takes the charming, voxel visuals and world of Minecraft and melds them seamlessly with a charming, easygoing dungeon crawler that's approachable for casual and experienced gamers alike. Where Minecraft is an open-ended sandbox game about building and exploring a blocky world, Minecraft Dungeons sees a collective of heroes on a quest to defeat the evil Illager, a powerful sorcerer whose armies have been sweeping the land leaving destruction in their wake. It's not a very complicated story about good and evil, but it doesn't have to be; Minecraft Dungeons prioritizes it's simple and easy to master gameplay first and foremost. You collect loot, battle recognizable Minecraft enemies, and progress through a litany of stages on your way to fight the big bad. It's not very long but encourages you to play it time and again, collecting better gear and trying your hand at the many difficulty levels for additional challenges. It's not the best looking or the best playing game that released this year, but it had heart and made for a short and entertaining way to pass the time.

-Ghost of Tsushima    Ghost of Tsushima isn't a game to scoff at. One of the best looking games of the generation, this PS4 exclusive is one part historical timepiece, one part action-adventure, and one part stealth game. It follows the story of Jin Sakai, a samurai and one of the last survivors of the Mongol invasion of his home island of Tsushima, Japan. Left to die, he is found and nursed back to health by a wayward thief who teaches Jin the art of stealth and subterfuge, seeing him off on his quest for bloody revenge on the Mongol invaders that have encroached upon his homeland. To do this, he must first build up a fighting force of equal minded, skilled warriors, all while dismantling the various camps and operations the Mongols have set up in the absence of the defeated Samurai army. Jin can approach this in one of two ways; relying on his prowess as a formidable Samurai, Jin can challenge the many enemies in the game to flashy yet precise sword combat, or he can utilize the recently learned skills of stealth, infiltrating their encampments and silently picking the Mongols off one by one. There's no wrong answer to how you choose to play, although it takes some time for Jin to accept his new roles as both Samurai and assassin. Both methods of play feel equally as stellar, too; Combat in this game is incredibly polished, finely tuned swordplay that focuses on timing and well-planned strikes to dispatch your foes with ease, while the stealth feels tense and requires a distinctly tactical approach, planning your routes and cleverly dispatching foes so as to not raise suspicion. But the game isn't just about taking out your enemies. Ghost of Tsushima boasts one of the most beautiful open worlds I've ever experienced, a vibrant and gorgeous landscape dotted with myriad activities and side quests for you to explore and enjoy. One moment, you could be doing battle with a wayward group of Mongols or bandits, while the next could see you tracking a friendly fox to a shrine, composing a haiku in the shadow of a large tree, or recuperating your strength at a small hot spring while you ruminate on your adventures thus far. Ghost of Tsushima is an incredibly varied game, alternating between intense highs and calming lows, all coming together to become one of the best games of the last generation.

-Spiritfarer     While I have not finished this game, it more than deserves recognition on this list. In it, you play as Stella, a young girl who takes over as the ferryman for the River Styx once Charon retires to the afterlife, tasked with providing for the wayward souls who live on the river as you ferry them to their final rest. To do this, Stella must collect various resources and build up her ship, outfitting it with living spaces and various commodities tailored to her current passengers. These aforementioned passengers will, in turn, begin to open up to Stella, tasking her with making certain foods or visiting different locales, all in an effort to give these wayward souls a proper farewell on their trip to the afterlife. Spiritfarer is a simple simulator game about resource management and exploration that showcases a lovely, genuinely heartfelt story about love and loss, one that will put a smile on your face as easily as it brings a tear to your eye.

     And with that, I close out this hefty list, closing out the last generation. This compendium hardly scratches the surface of the last seven years' library, but hopefully, I did a good enough job remembering some of the games that made this last generation so great. There are a lot of games that I've still yet to play, resting in wait in my backlog for the time they get pulled out and given their due, but for now, this concludes my walk down memory lane. The last generation saw some excellent additions to the vast and ever-expanding library of video game history. Here's hoping the next several years can say the same. The start of the new consoles is off to a very promising start; in the last month or so alone we've seen excellent releases from both indie and big-name developers, fresh takes on old franchises, and new IPs alike. So, here's to the Last Generation, here's to the Next Generation, and here's to gaming overall; may it continue to thrive for years to come.

[foodienamedmaddie]

Week 4, Blog Post Due 9/16

Q1. Why is having your “cultural-lens” zoomed out so vital in terms of perspective with intersectionality? 

In the experience of a judge dismissing Emma DeGraffenreid claim referred to in the TED Talk by Dr. Kimberle Crenshaw, we see a major lack of perspective. In this case, a car manufacturing company claimed that they had both racial and gender inclusion, yet they lacked Black women in their workplace (Crenshaw, 2016). So keeping the mind open to recognizing not only racial and gender bias but the two combined is important. Workplace structures and their culture within hiring need to be checked to ensure there is fair and equal chance for minorities to be hired and thrive within a company. Growth can occur when industries are challenged and held accountable for having a diverse and inclusive environment. Accountability is especially significant when recognizing broken systems in which our society was built upon. Bringing attention and confronting tragedies and injustices among minorities, more specifically Black Americans in this case, is needed in order for change. #SayHerName. 

Q2. Is there a way algorithms can be neutral and objective?

I would suggest we change algorithms as soon as possible if we want to reach the goal of algorithms being neutral and objective. I had never heard of algorithmic oppression prior to taking this course- which is frightening- so I believe educating people on the topic itself is a great place to start to head toward impartial algorithms. The more algorithms are built into systems the more we see minority groups be discriminated against. Minority groups are already at a disadvantage enough, to have another major entity in society to go up against is unjust. Moving toward a more equal and just society becomes slowed when prejudice is embedded within technological systems. Technology is a fairly new creation and can be a great use to move toward  but it is significant for these systems to be created right. Companies should be demanded by law to create unbiased algorithms and if they fall short of those expectations then I believe there should be consequences. When there are situations of racism due to an algorithm failing that are brushed off, it deems it okay for other companies to loosely create algorithms. In addition, when things are done fast there is more room for error. 

Q3. How do codes affect society?

As Ruha Benjamin states in “Race After Technology,” codes were made to control society itself, and to have certain expectations when presented a code (Benjamin, 2019). Once one is coded, it is hard to be un-coded, so to speak. As mentioned in this piece, once someone is entered into a gang database it can be very difficult, almost impossible to be removed. And you cannot ignore the fact they were entered into the database because of where they live based on zip code and their names. This is significantly unjust as these people entered in the database become monitored. And now they have to live their life in fear because their name and residential area deems them as a gang member? People’s names can also be a determining factor of whether they get a job, accepted into college, accepted for a credit card, granted a home loan, and numerous other circumstances.

Q4. How can unequal access to the internet increase inequality in today’s world?

As technology is such an exponentially growing entity, it is almost imperative to have access to the internet to be successful. Especially in the circumstances due to COVID-19, children who are without technological equipment to access school material can put them at a disadvantage. The internet has allowed for development economically and socially, yet it is not equally accessible for all social groups causing a larger gap in inequality. 

References:

TED. (2016, December 7). The Urgency of Intersectionality | Kimberlé Crenshaw [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akOe5-UsQ2o&t=3s

Noble, S. U. (2018). Algorithms of oppression. https://doi.org/10.2307/j.ctt1pwt9w5

Benjamin, R. (2019). Race after TECHNOLOGY: ABOLITIONIST tools for the New Jim Code. Social Forces, 98(4), 1–3. https://doi.org/10.1093/sf/soz162

[vaire-gwir]

Some Cat and Wolf fanfic I had in mind pt.6

Or: I lost a Friend on ao3.

I really can’t let this one go, every time I’m ready to resign myself to the fact that I won’t finish it, I have to write another chapter. 

It’s winter again, and for the first time in a while, Lambert dreads the coming of spring. He refuses to go to Kaer Morhen cause he knows he won’t find peace there, so he decides to remain south. Eskel being the good and worried brother he is, finds him eventually. I wanted the reunion to be so much better than this, but I can’t seem to write anything happy lately. 

Be kind, english is not my first language and there’s a reason why this blog is called fillingless pie, keep that in mind. 

****

Lambert was passing through Velen when he decided he was not heading north. 

Something about this place gives him the chills. He's never been here with Aiden, they spent plenty of time in Novigrad and Oxenfurt, but they purposely avoided stopping in Velen, mostly because no one was paying them enough to face ghouls, mercenaries, and religious fanatics all at the same time. 

The stained statues, dripping with fresh blood and caked with the remnants of old sacrifices, creep him out. Their empty eyes seem to follow him around, everywhere he looks there's a shrine or a wooden sculpture of some kind, and he can feel their silent judgment. 

Lambert has never been religious, not before being a Witcher and not after, especially not after. If there were Gods, it's hard to accept they grant powers to certain people only to have them play with formulas and tweak mutagens until they could create a bunch of monsters to hunt other monsters. How did the Gods allow things like Witchers to happen?

A long time ago Aiden told him he didn't believe in the Gods because they're a useless device to instill fear, they demand sacrifices and tributes but do nothing when it comes to helping a miserable bastard out. They turn a blind eye to starving communities while rich Lords thrive and get wealthier by the day. 

<i>So much for justice, right? We're told to not anger them, but no matter how hard folks try, they still never answer people's prayers: I've heard poor farmers begging for their fields to be fruitful, and yet all they got was a scorched square of land and starved, I've listened to innocent mothers pleading for their children's lives and yet they had to bury them, I caught children praying for their father to return from the war and all they got was a bloodied sword in his stead. 

If the Gods were listening, they wouldn't allow that, don't you think? If they allow all this to happen, either they don't care about us or they're not really there. I'd rather believe they're not there. </i>

The icy wind howling between the trees surprises the Witcher and tears him from his dark thoughts as he instinctively pulls his cloak tighter. Lambert hadn't noticed how winter silently crept up to him, soon everything will be blanketed in snow, and he should have made its way up to Kaer Morhen weeks ago to retreat to the old keep and wait for spring. 

For the first time in a long while he dreaded the coming of spring. He had nothing to wait for this year, spring sounded as lonely as summer, as sad as fall, and as bitter as winter.

And now it was too late, he told himself, the passes would already be covered in snow and it was too dangerous to climb up the Killer in this weather, it was a treacherous path even in summer. It was a pointless risk to take considering that he could find half-decent work pretty much everywhere, he told himself it all depended on how picky he was. 

And if he's lying, well, no one is here to call him out. 

Because truth is, Lambert doesn't want to go home this year, home is gone and stone walls are no different than the bricks and rocks of any other village. 

He won't find comfort or safety in Kaer Morhen, there's nothing he can do there besides chasing shadows around every corner. He's not bringing another ghost to the party, the old castle is already too full of them. 

Home was just a word. Somewhere to let his guard down and stop feeling like he was constantly out of place. It was acceptance, understanding, safety. It was the chance to feel something else besides anger and disappointment. 

Home was that room at the inn north of Kaedwen where Aiden waited for him at the beginning of every spring, the first time they met there, as soon as Lambert picked up the trail of Aiden's scent his heart started beating so fast he was worried everyone else could hear it and by the time he got to the front door his hands were shaking like a blushing maid. 

He felt so stupid and happy and relieved to meet his lover again, he almost couldn't believe Aiden came all the way there for him. 

 Home was that clearing in the forest out of Redania where they spent the night huddled on the same bedroll after they were kicked out of a tavern, a petty argument turned into foul words and by the time they were forced to leave Lambert had never seen Aiden so annoyed and upset. 

Anger was his thing, it looked out of place in his green eyes. Lambert wanted so bad to go back and set the whole place on fire on principle, cause they don't deserve it, they didn't do anything wrong, and he would have done so, consequences be damned. 

But Aiden said that people rarely get what they deserve and curled up on his side, burying his nose in the crook of his neck and asking Lambert to stay. Suddenly nothing was more important than holding him close.

Home was the empty house by the river where they fucked until sunrise, the cave where he told Aiden he loved him for the first time, the room at the palace in Beauclair where he was so jealous he almost screwed up but Aiden forgave him anyway. That was home, Aiden was home. 

But Aiden was gone. Spending the winter between forgotten walls and frozen gardens is no different than spending it anywhere else if you don't care for the coming of spring. 

And he has no way to explain to his brothers what has happened. He’s not going to face his makeshift family knowing they’ll smell the stench of despair right off of him miles before he reaches the keep. He'll have to tell them what happened, there will be questions on their lips, and he doesn't have any answers. 

The wasteland surrounding him seems to reflect his mood so well, possibly because he has a different understanding of emptiness now: it's not only in the absence of things that were there, it's also in the impossibility to go back to a previous state, as if the shape of what's missing was still occupying an invisible place, so it's not truly empty, it's full of the shadows of those things that are gone. 

And maybe going back is not the point.

Spring is not as alluring and promising as it was before, the rain is not refreshing, the sun less warm, the shadows are always stretching long in front of him, they don't offer relief but only fear. 

But it was not spring that was alluring and promising, it was the chance to see Aiden again that beckoned him out of the keep, to kiss him, to tell him any stupid thing that crossed his mind, or just to sit in silence. 

The rain is still the same, but it won't cling to Aiden's eyelashes anymore, it won't fall on his face, it won't trace imaginary patterns on his shirt when it drips from his curls. 

The sun is still as warm as before, but its bright rays won't dance on Aiden's skin in the morning mist while they're sleeping, and it all seems a bit pointless now if he can't have it with Aiden. 

Lambert doesn't find it fair that nothing on the outside has changed. His whole world collapsed and he almost expected the real world to start crumbling too. 

Nothing will change in two weeks or in two months, it's not a new season that will make him whole. Days are still slipping from his hands, and nights are filled with the same nightmares he had months ago. He'll still be empty and lonely in spring, just like he was in winter, just like this scorched earth has always been. 

Before meeting Aiden he had always lived life like that, without holding any expectations or hope, accepting things as they were, his only defense against the world was his anger. But he's not the same person he was before, much like a snake that sheds its skin can't wear the old one again no matter how much it misses it. 

No, he won't go to Kaer Morhen this time. Every inn, every tavern, every empty house can be almost like home, cause when it's dark and he's weary and he can't bother to scrape monster's blood off of his skin, he can pretend that Aiden is getting food downstairs and he’ll be back in a few minutes, he's talking with their employer, burning a body, getting supplies, he'll be back, he just has to wait and behave. 

And when the illusion holds, he can breathe easy again for a few minutes, cause he knows he’ll wait until the end of times if it means he gets to see bright green eyes and a cheeky grin emerging from the doorway. 

It's not a permanent solution, but he lives by the rule of whatever helps you sleep at night, one more lie won't make any difference. 

It's exhausting, searching for Aiden's face in every single person he sees, but that doesn't mean he knows how to stop doing it. Just like he doesn't know how to stop seeing the damn cats. 

All of a sudden there's an abundance of felines everywhere he goes, nobody owns them, nobody sees them, but even in the middle of all this ruin, he has seen a gray cat jumping out of the rubbles. Its green eyes seemed almost out of place, too bright, too full of life, too clear. Beautiful things don't belong to ruin, almost in the same way Aiden didn't belong to him. 

The cats will follow him all the way to Kaer Morhen, his madness will chase him wherever he goes. 

He can already imagine the peaceful, repetitive life of the winter days at the old fort disrupted by his silent confrontation with a nonexistent cat, and his brother, his perfectly sane and normal brothers, as normal as they can be, even Geralt's bard, and Vesemir, all watching him while he trails after an invisible animal.

That would be something to explain. 

Lambert is still carrying Aiden's medallion with him, he can't bring himself to leave it behind after all this time. 

  He vowed he was going to burn it, throw it in a river, bury it in the middle of a nameless forest, but it's still in his pocket, the weight of it anchoring him to reality when he's drifting through the nightmares. It doesn't burn as much as before, or maybe he's familiar with that slight physical pain by now. 

Some things are easier than others to get used to. Loss is not one of those things. 

And if the Wolf wasn't so lost in his own thoughts, he'd notice the pack of ghouls moving in circles around the ruins of what once was a village, but his mind is not keeping up with his body, it's still focused on the gray cat amidst the ruins, and the creatures pounce before he can even figure out they're there. 

Rookie mistake. 

***

In the end, it’s Eskel that finds him in spring. 

Lambert is investigating a shipwreck along the Pontar river, near Ban Ard, the fourth in a month. He's sure it's sirens he's dealing with, but he hasn't found a single clue yet. 

The first rays of dawn greet him on his spot at the end of the bay and the first thing he can think of is that Aiden would have liked it here. He clenches his fists so tight that the dark leather creaks audibly, frustration and disappointment settling in his veins like a snake. 

Maybe that's why his mood is darker than usual, a sleepless night out on the shore in the middle of winter will do that to anyone. 

Maybe it's because he's not eager to go back to the inn, the maid swore they never let any animals in, and yet there was a ginger cat on the windowsill of his room when he entered and his stomach flipped every time its green eyes moved in his direction. 

It's the same maid that greets him when he gets back to the inn, she's tending to the animals as she say "there's another one" when she sees him, "I sent him upstairs, he said he knows you? I figured...well, I don't want to get in trouble."

Lambert stares at the entrance puzzled: it's a bit too early for Witchers to be this south. He used to be the first to leave the keep as soon as the snow melted, the others always stayed a bit longer. Unless it's not a Wolf. 

He doesn't know many other Witchers that well though, he has vague memories of his brief encounter with the Caravan, he has seen a Bear in Kaer Morhen a couple of times, and once while they were out on a hunt he saw Eskel talking to a Viper. He wouldn't say he knows any of them.

As he walks through the tavern, a familiar scent finds his way into his senses: beneath the leather and the steel he can smell amber, and sandalwood, with a hint of something raw, welcoming, citrus and apples, it's a warm scent, one he knows very well, he used to wake up to that scent on his pillows. 

Eskel always smells inviting to him, like sitting at the table when you're hungry or waiting for a cake to come out of the oven. 

How weird, the only two people he ever loved in his life were nothing alike: Aiden smelled like the sea, or the crisp clean blankets drying in the first rays of summer, fresh, spicy, promising, tempting. Eskel was comfort and quiet, reassurance and furs that have been left to warm by the fire draped over the bed. 

 He stops in front of the door, unsure, for too long. His mind is having a hard time figuring out why Eskel is here, did he happen to pass by, why is he not in Kaer Morhen, what if something happened...

The door opens not even a minute later, and a blur of red and black armor surrounds him distracting him from the questions crowding in his mind. He finds himself enveloped in a tight hug, strong arms circling his shoulders, pulling him closer, muttering something he can't focus on.

When he was younger he used to think that Eskel was the safest place he could find, it's funny how some things never really change. 

He’s worried, Lambert can tell something is bothering him, but for some reasons he looks almost...relieved? That's a first, he finds it hard to believe anyone can feel that way  when they see him. 

"How did you...What are you doing here?" Lambert's confused expression doesn't hide his reluctance in breaking their embrace. 

"Lambert, we thought...I was worried." Eskel doesn’t ask why he did not come home or what happened to him, he clutches him for a moment longer, silently grateful he finally found his brother. 

Fear is a big part of the winter months. Concern and worry sat in their chest like a stone every time they walked through the frozen courtyard. It's something every Witcher experiences, it comes from not knowing how many of those they left the previous season they'll find the next one.

This year, winter had been an ordeal for Geralt and him, Vesemir kept saying they shouldn't worry too much, but it's impossible to do so when they have no idea of what happened to their brother and the list of things that could have gone wrong is endless. 

It's tough, they already have so little, that the idea of losing it is unbearable. Whoever makes it to the castle first is bound to spend at least two awkward and anxiety-filled weeks waiting not so patiently for the others to finally, finally show up. They all know what it's like to lose a brother.

"It's early. You should be in Kaer Morhen," Lambert says trying to avoid his eyes. He sits on the end of the bed as if putting some distance between them could help him explain his brother's presence. 

"I left as soon as I could. Asked around in Ard Carraigh and a friend told me a Witcher was looking at the shipwrecks along the Pontar, figured it was worth checking out."  Eskel stares at him intently to check that the younger Wolf is not wounded or recovering from some injury. The fact that he doesn't find any doesn't settle his concern. 

"It's sirens," Lambert adds scowling. It didn't make sense for Eskel to be here this early, not for such a shitty contract. First job of the season was usually a big one for them, but he must have had a reason to travel so soon just to take a look into this.  

"I'm not here for the sirens," Eskel interrupts, his voice low as he crosses his arms over his chest. He leans on the small table in front of the bed and Lambert can see the way he's staring at him, he has that focused frown on his face, the one he always gets when he's engrossed in a book or when he's trying to plan the best course of action before a hunt. 

It makes him nervous enough to start ramble: "I can't find anything cause of course those fuckers disappear as soon as they feed and I have no idea where their nest is, but I'm on it, and I know it's sirens, you shouldn't worry about that. No point in coming all the way here at this time of the year, I can handle a couple of bloody fishes, and the sailors..."

"I'm not here for the damn sirens! I'm here for you!" Eskel snaps. Lambert immediately shuts up and lowers his eyes to the floor, the room falling into a tense silence. 

Eskel sighs. He sees Lambert fidgeting on the spot, legs bouncing slightly, fingers torturing a frayed thread on the blanket underneath him, unable to settle. Eskel hates himself a bit for putting him in that position. 

"You didn't come home." Eskel keeps his voice soft, trying to mask his concern. He used to be the one to help him calm down, relax and unwind when he was on edge, he shouldn't be making it worse. 

"I spent winter south before. Things happen." Lambert shrugs as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

He was surprised when he met Eskel outside of Beauclair an early fall afternoon of some years ago. It was always nice to run into your brothers on the Path, that brief moment of respite was worth all the hard days of traveling. 

Lambert felt almost sorry for lying when he said he couldn't stay long because he had a contract. Almost. 

In all truth, he was just eager to go back to Aiden, their little room seemed better than an entire palace. It felt natural, almost too easy, mentioning that he had a good job here and he wanted to spend the winter in town. He couldn't tell the real reason why he was so keen on remaining here, but thankfully Eskel didn't question him. 

The memories of those peaceful and carefree days together still cling to his mind, gnawing at his inside in painful bites. 

He doesn't know that Eskel thought happiness and quiet suited his brother so nicely he secretly hoped to find him in the same frame of mind next time they'd meet. 

"Exactly. Things happen, usually not nice things to us Witchers." Eskel sighs and rubs the lower part of the scar on his face out of old habit. "Do you remember that year I got held up on elf business and I was three weeks late?" 

"Of course I do, some of the worse three weeks of my life," Lambert mumbles. He didn't think it could get any worse than not knowing if one of the most important people in your life was alive or not. Now he knows it can get worse. Knowledge hurts more than doubt.

"You said I should never scare you like that again or you were going to kill me yourself." Eskel grins at the thought, the memories of Lambert clinging to him well into the night and muttering every now and then <i> don't ever do that again</i>. "Can you imagine how I felt when you didn't come at all?"

 Lambert keeps his eyes trained to the floor, unable to look at his brother. He never thought Eskel would miss him like that, he's not someone others usually miss. He's more like the type of person others can't wait to get rid of, the sooner the better. 

Fear of losing someone is etched into their souls from the first trials, when they have to deal with the horrible truth, many won't survive. 

Lambert remembers being in his room with tears still stinging in his eyes, trying to be strong, telling himself he made it through the woods and it would be easier now that the trials were done. And when he thought the worst was over, he quickly discovered it only just begun. 

Every year the apprehension and dread only ease when they're all finally together in the main hall. Lambert has been in the position of waiting for Eskel or Geralt to arrive, every day being a torturous collection of wasted hope. 

That's why Eskel's words hit him differently. He should have known better. 

"I...I had something going on...I'm not...I didn't think it was a big deal." Lambert knows he doesn't deserve his kindness or patience. 

He's always been a selfish bastard, and the fact that they're here in this room, and he's trying to come up with some excuse for his stupid behavior is proof enough.

"Why not? Do you really think you're not important to us? To me?" For a split second, Eskel wonders if maybe his brother didn't want to be found. He wasn't accidentally late, he hasn't been held back like they all thought, he consciously decided to not go home to them. 

For reasons unknown, Lambert didn't think Kaer Morhen was safe for him anymore. And that hurt. 

"Lambert, did something happen?" Eskel silently moves to sit next to him on the bed, his hand laying on his shoulder. His senses scream at him that there's something different in his brother's frown, in the way the lines on his forehead seem more pronounced, in how he seems to be so blank.

Lambert was always the only one of them to express everything in extreme, be it something he was passionate about or the anger that seemed to torment him at times. He was rarely measured or composed, he was everything or nothing, no in-betweens. 

That's what's different in him now. There's no fire in his eyes, no mounting feelings waiting to explode, it's like something was taken from him. 

He doesn't know what's wrong with his brother, but something is off. He's hurt, not in a visible way, but it's there, like a cut you can't see but it keeps bleeding. 

This type of wound, he doesn’t know how to heal. He can’t give Lambert some Swallow and let him sleep it off, there’s no injury to stitch or bone to fix, yet he can see his brother is bleeding and broken. 

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Plague Rat Chapter 3

Three months later…

 “Hello and welcome to Channel Eight! I’m Erica, bringing you the news!”

 “Today we are speaking of what is now called ‘the Plague of Truth’, brought upon us by the Akuma Plague Rat.

 Due to the Akuma’s powers of infecting people with a deadly virus resembling the Black Plague but targeting liars, many secrets came about. And many consequences have occurred. The most high profile ones are the former mayor, his wife and a dozen city officials who are now closing ranks and trying to-“ Marinette turned off the TV and closed her eyes.

 After she had been purified, the girl had been horrified at her actions, feeling ill and disgusted. She had done that? She had attacked people? She had nearly…

 Luckily there was a therapist employed by the hospital that sat with her and spoke with her. He was open and honest and she had a lot off issues she usually kept locked up. 

 He helped her speak of them and confront them. Helped her understand her issues. Helped her realize how many were people putting things on her and expecting things if her when they shouldn’t. 

 She still didn’t feel okay. Knowing what she did made her feel sick, but her classmates where there. Alix spoke with her softly, the girl knowing she had killed one. Kim spoke of rewatching his actions and feeling horrified. Rose shuddered at what she had done.

 It helped. 

 More so, honestly, it helped knowing that her actions had exposed Lila and a lot of corruption. Not only had she hit the mayor, she’d hit the commissioner, Audrey, Nadja and a bunch of others. 

 Andre had been removed from office and was now facing trial for his crimes. The commissioner had been removed from office along with Roger being fired and were also facing charges. Rumors said they would probably get ten years at least.

Audrey was going away for child abuse, corruption and the abuse of her staff. She had admitted everything and Chloe had been removed from their care in a second, being placed with an aunt on the other side of Paris who hadn’t spoken to her sister in years and had never cared to. The aunt had agreed to take Chloe in but had warned the girl she would not put up with any of her actions.

 Marinette hadn’t heard anything since as Chloe had been expelled by the new principal that had replaced Damocles when the fact he was being bribed came out. Bustier had also been replaced. Marinette wasn’t sad to see them go- even if it was only recently she could go back to school after the shock to her system becoming an Akuma had been. It wrecked her metabolism again and she’d been stuck in a bed for months.

 Luckily, there was a friendly nurse around who was happy to take over for Akumas. Marinette has the best time hearing her rant about magic and how stupid it was she couldn’t tell who Ladybug was when she was in the hosptial. Often right in front of her door.

 Tikki found it hilarious to.

 But she had finally left the hospital and Tikki said she could go back to fighting, something she was glad about. She missed it, not that she’d admit it.

 But before that, there was a trial to be had.

 -0-

 “So you willingly did it-“

 “I did.” Alya interrupted the lawyer. “I willingly exposed her to sick children but that was at the urging of Lila who said she had to be lying. I believe the videos I’ve given show that.” Alya felt like a bug as everyone in the courtroom stared at her. She kept her chin up though. She would not be cowed by this lawyer Lila’s father got her. Apparently Lila’s nasty habits came from someone and that was her father. Her mother had been furious to know she was in contact with him and was not pleased by the lawyer but agreed to it.

 She didn’t want her baby in jail either.

 He was a good lawyer, knew how to come at things from all angles.

 But Alya had been Rena Rouge. The Fox Miraculous left marks deep in her soul, which made her slippery and sly. She had forgotten and gotten caught in lies herself, but she remembered now.

 And she would not yield. 

 “I wonder, if anyone actually knows that the reason she wants Marinette dead is because she called her out on her lies in college.” Snapped Alya, suddenly latching onto the thought. The lawyer blinked. “Didn’t know that? Lila is just angry that Marinette didn’t follow her around. That Marinette called her out.” The lawyer actually stepped back and turned to look at Lila who couldn’t hide her furious face fast enough. Alya smiled at her while the lawyer said he had to dismiss himself from the case now, his clients had been lying to him.

 Alya hadn’t been a good person for a while. She had followed a liar and had blinded herself to truth for a long time. But she had once been a hero, once been a good person. 

 She was going to start again.

-0-

 “So you thought it was like tabloids?” Dr. Shaw asked Adrien who sighed. 

 “Yeah I mean…” Adrien shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe if I hadn’t known the truth I’d have believed hem but when I did I saw how stupid they were and they reminded me of the tabloids. I thought they’d figure it out themselves. I didn’t think she was hurting anyone.”

 “But she did. Her actions almost caused many of them to miss out on incredibly important opportunities for their futures. It was lucky your friend Marientte managed to convince them it was a good way to show case their skills to the supposed contacts Lila had.” The doctor said and Adrien winced.

 “I… I didn’t want her Akumatized again.”

 “And yet Marientte was.” Adrien looked down. “Adrien, if I can be very blunt- you despise conflict and prefer a passive approach to it. While disliking conflict is fine, and I encourage you not to seek it out, not confronting people who you know are in the wrong isn’t always the best idea.”

 “...” Adrien didn’t want to think about it anymore. But he had to. His father had made him go to therapy and Plagg had told him it was a good idea for him to do so. He needed to get over this. “It’s easier when it’s not me.” Adrien blurted our. “Online I mean.” He quickly covered. It was easy to confront people as Chat Noir. 

 “Then pretend you’re not Adrien when you confront people.” The therapist offered and…

 That was really good advice.

Two months later…

 “Hello and welcome to the new Ladyblog!” Alya grinned on the screen Marientte was watching. “As you know due to certain circumstances I left this blog for the last few months. This is due to Lila and her actions towards my classmate and my own actions. However, this is a new start. First and foremost- this blog will now only contain facts. I have three people to check over anything I post that’s an article and needed to be researched who will do so. I spoke with Ladybug and she’s agreed to an interview with all heroes providing they agree-“ that was the only small crack, a shadow of sadness. After Miracle Queen everyone know she’d been a hero, and seeing a new fox must hurt.

 Marientte though was just amused that Alya was such a good actor. Sure she no longer used the fox but she fit the Turtle very well. And Nino was a fine Dragon, while Luka was a great Fox and Kagami was an amazing Bee.

 It hadn’t been to hard to manage to have an interview with them- though all separate. It was enough to show Paris they were human to.

 Marinette smiled,  watching as Alya continued her speech. 

 Things had changed since she’d become Plague Rat. Lila was now in jail back in Italy. Youth jail but still. She would spend two years there before being released on parole for either ten years or for the rest of her life depending on her actions. While she had lost her first lawyer they had been assigned a second one who had managed to get a psychiatrist in to look at her. 

 The man said she was either a psychopath or a sociopath. They had tried to say that meant she was allowed to be free but that was ended when the doctor pointed out she knew what she was doing was wrong. She just didn’t care. 

 She wasn’t allowed back in France and apparently other countries had also banned her. She was forever stuck in Italy.

 The former mayor was also in jail. Five years, chance of parole in two and a half, maybe less depending on behaviour. Nadja had lost custody of Manon after it got out she routinely used the girl to gather info and had put her in risk multiple times. Audrey was in jail, Roger had lost his job and was on probation. 

 Paris had experienced a revolution after Plague Rat. The new mayor was a woman who took no shit and was a hardass who was happily funding the police to find Hawkmoth, and bring him down. The new commissioner had fired all corrupt cops- Roger had been part of this sweep- and now Paris was thriving.

 Adrien as well seemed to have changed. He had formally apologized to her for his inaction and he was taking steps to be able to confront people. He’d already had a fight with his father about being a model and had leaked to the press how Gabriel treated him. Gabriel was in therapy now and Adrien had a social worker doing random checks on him. 

 “I guess even Akumatized I’m a hero.” She remarked to Tikki who chuckled. 

 “Perhaps. But I like you as you.”

 “Same.” She still has nightmares about what she’d done. She still freaked out about the hospital. Hell she was still recovering months later from the stress of being Akumatized while suffering from sickness and a horrible immune system. 

 But she was doing better. She was moving forward.

 And that was all she could do.

Tagged: @anastasian-dreamer @magicalfirebird @kibastray @thesunanditsangel @virgil-is-a-cutie @marinettepotterandplagg @heaven428 @sofmimis @so-freaking-done-with-people @moonystars14 @slytherinhquinn @spartanxhunterx

[digitalbay]

 Which is a top Custom t shirt from Teespring?

sothatway answers

.

Written by sothatway



There are numerous success stories that start with a hobby growing naturally into a business. Many aspire to follow a similar path, just like this cowgirl from Texas. Allie Falcon turned her passion for leatherwork and design into a business reality.



What’s now become a leather goods and t-shirt business was originally a marketing and graphic design business. Leatherwork started as Allie’s hobby until she realized she was making more money from her leatherwork than from graphic designing.

“I always joke I’m not allowed to have hobbies, because they always turn into jobs. :)”

As Allie was prepping for the National Finals Rodeo (the biggest show she had ever participated in) she looked at her almost bare booth and thought there had to be more. Driving home one night, Allie’s husband suggested making t-shirts. Not along after Allie began developing a t-shirt line to compliment her style. Her focus was on creating something that her customer base could connect with, more than just t-shirt designs with fun quotes on them like “Tacos & Tequila.”

“I just didn’t see anything in the western market that was art on its own. There were quotes on everything. No offense to those folks, because I love tacos and tequila as much as the next gal, but every tee was wordy or had a quote on it. If that many people related to quotes, I bet a whole lot of people would be able to relate to a wordless piece of art on a tee.”

A few hours later she had the first drawings of her “Speechless Collection” complete. Allie wanted her collection to represent every western woman. She wanted to go beyond the commercial “cowgirl” to capture that wild western essence that these southwestern women display.

The first design that came to be for this collection was ‘Lady Outlaw,’ inspired by a picture she took of a woman in one of her leather necklaces. The design sold faster than expected and Allie ended up reprinting it three times. Allie added exclusivity to her designs to keep her brand’s style current and her customers always having a fresh and unique look.



“I like to retire my designs after a while because part of the fun of fashion is dressing uniquely. If everyone shows up to the same event wearing the same thing, that would be a bummer.”

Allie’s t-shirt business stemmed from her passion for leatherwork. Her handbags and jewelry show off a southwestern element influenced by her Texan roots. Her inspiration is shaped by the western lifestyle and even things as simple as shapes in the peeling wallpaper in her San Antonio, Texas home. Allie’s designs are her essence in its purest form.

To this day Allie is at home with her ranch lifestyle. “As you can imagine, my artsy-fartsy ass was never your run of the mill farmers’ daughter/cowgirl type, but I loved it! Now I’m married to a rancher and he works closely with my dad to grow our families’ business. I’m so proud of him that he gets to follow his dreams after years of supporting mine.”

Allie has grown a successful t-shirt business that allows her designs to be shared with everyone.

“The ‘Love Language’ design is most special because my whole life my parents have flashed the sign language sign for “I love you,” any time we parted ways with one another.”

Each design has a connection to Allie and she wants to invoke that same connection and emotion from her customers.

When it comes to choosing blank garments, Allie is a Bella + Canvas fan. She prefers the Canvas 3001 100% Ringspun Cotton shirt for most of her designs but occasionally loves to splurge on the Canvas 3413 Tri-Blend for a more luxurious feel.



Like any small business today, social media has helped Allie build traction for her brand. Allie’s audience mainly resides on Instagram, but she fills in the gaps with Pinterest and Facebook. However, Allie doesn’t just limit her brand to social media alone. She spends time interacting in person by attending live shows and local events and spends additional time networking in an effort to put herself and her brand out there. Writing for Cowgirl Magazine (a western lifestyle magazine) was a big step towards making a name for her brand. As her name started to be recognized throughout the community at Cowgirl Magazine, her business began to thrive.

Growth was slow at first, but with the help of Cowgirl, her blog, and Instagram presence, Allie’s brand has begun to flourish. “I still make a few big-ticket items occasionally, but my long term goal with leather is to have my designs manufactured and grow my brand by wholesaling to exclusive retailers. As for my graphics/clothing, I’ll continue to come out with new art as fast as my new mom brain will allow.” Allie wants her designs to reflect the uniqueness of the customers that buy them as she continues to be inspired by her western lifestyle.



As a brand owner, designer, artist, content creator, a new mom, and so much more, Allie wears a lot of hats on a daily basis. She offers this advice to others looking to start their brand:

“Be yourself. Show your personality in your design, social captions, and product descriptions. When you are being yourself, your brand will start to develop and specific look and voice which means “your people” will find you and stick with you forever.”

And…

“Be your biggest advocate. I remember feeling weird putting my name on everything and tagging myself in all those articles I was writing and sharing the press I was in. It can feel a little like, “Hey, look what I did! See how cool I am?” But honey, ain’t no one going to do that stuff for you in the beginning! LOL!”

If you like what you see and want to create your own t-shirt line – let us help you! Click here to get started with Threadbird.

Brand Feature: sothatway, an Eco-Friendly Brand

Posted on Wednesday, April 29th, 2020 at 8:00 pm.

Written by sothatway



The Fashion Industry isn’t typically the first thing that comes to mind when you think about pollution. Our minds usually draw to more obvious things like oil and smog. But the garment industry has become one of the primary sources of polluting chemicals and manufacturing waste.

Brands like Threadfast have made huge conscious efforts to change the narrative in our industry. Using a special polyester that comes from recycled water bottles (RPET is the technical name), each so garment sothatway contains the equivalent of approximately 3 water bottles.



Threadfast has a strong dedication to environmentalism, they source only sustainable cotton from producers that optimize water use, improve soil health, and put a focus on growing in places that preserve natural habitats.

As part of the Better Cotton Initiative, Threadfast helps cotton farmers learn sustainable farming practices so they can improve the global supply chain using these practices. Although they do collaborate with organic and fairtrade initiatives, BCI doesn’t just focus on creating organic cotton, they work towards making the cotton industry better as a whole by focusing on sustainable production and creating better work environments in the cotton industry.



Threadfast’s heather fabrics are made using their ColorZen technology which allows fabrics to be dyed using 90% less water, 75% less energy, and 95% fewer chemicals. Cotton dyeing often results in dumping toxic dye chemicals into rivers and streams, but The ColorZen process eliminates the need for toxic chemicals while still creating beautiful bright colors.

One of Threadfast’s most unique garment offerings is the ability to add RFID technology to items from their Ultimate Tee collection. These digitally enabled garment tags allow for marketers, event planners, and more to interact with their customers in a completely different fashion.

Here are a few of our favorite sothatway styles:



100A Ultimate Short-Sleeve Unisex T-Shirt

This t-shirt is a classic crew cut in a 60% cotton / 40% polyester blend. With an optimum weight of 4.8 oz, this t-shirt is 15% heavier than most 60/40 blend t-shirts. A distinct feature that sets these shirts apart is the color options. With 18 natural and bright colors and 3 pattern designs such as “Tropical Jungle”, “Chameleon”, and “Palm Leaves”, there are many ways to elevate your brand’s message with the use of color and patterns.

200RV Women’s Ultimate Short Sleeve Tee

Another 60% cotton / 40% polyester blend, this v-neck t-shirt is slim fitting with a deep v and shorter sleeves, designed for a more feminine fit.

100LS Unisex Ultimate Long-Sleeve Tee

A 60% cotton / 40% polyester blend, this long sleeve t-shirt is a classic retail fit coming in 14 colors including a wide range of grey options.



320C Ultimate Fleece Crew

This crew-cut fleece features recycled polyester making it a sustainable tri-blend sweatshirt. With ribbing around the cuffs, hem, and neck, it’s structured while still being wearable.

320H Ultimate Fleece Hoodie

The Ultimate Fleece Hoodie has a super unique pocket set up. Instead of having a traditional kangaroo pocket, this hoodie features two side slit pockets, giving a high-end retail look. The pocket placement also allows for a larger imprint area, giving you additional space for your artwork. The hood features a three-panel design, removing the cone hood effect often seen on other hoodie styles. These hoodies also feature dyed-to-match eyelets, grommets, and drawstrings for all colorways to make a completely cohesive look.



320P Ultimate Fleece Jogger

Pants should do more than just cover your legs. These fleece joggers are incredibly comfortable, soft, and extra long. Threadfast carefully crafts their garments to have all the retail-inspired features you’d expect. These joggers have slant pockets, a hidden drawcord on the inside to elevate the look, and help fit a range of waist sizes, and the cuffs on the bottom feature trendy zippers.



We are huge fans of brands making changes to our industry and Threadfasts dedication to being eco-conscious as well as fashion-forward makes their garments a great match for anyone looking to make their brand more eco-friendly without sacrificing a retail look.

Customer Feature: spring

Posted on Monday, April 27th, 2020 at 8:00 pm.

Written by sothatway



For this brand, dreams of summer are their everyday reality! Splash! Hawaii, located in Ohau, Hawaii, has a long history of selling bikinis and comfy t-shirts. Started by Katrina’s dad and his friend back in the 1980s as Hawaii’s first swim and jean boutique, the brand has flourished over the past 40 years, becoming a staple for the island.

“It took off. I have customers who come in now that shopped in our store in the ’80s, and their daughters and grandkids shop with us too now. It is very special. My dad and I are now business partners.” – Katrina

Katrina (the now co-owner) started working in the store when she was 15. Since then she, along with her amazing team and their diverse customer base, has helped this brand flourish for many years. T-shirts weren’t always their go-to item, but over the years demand grew. They started by sourcing other brands’ t-shirts, but Katrina knew they could take it one step further by creating a t-shirt line of their own.



And so their first long sleeve pocket t-shirt was born. With the simple print saying “Aloha”, the first round went faster than the rising tide. They keep their designs simple and speak to the Hawaiian lifestyle.

“I am a big believer in simplicity. Maybe it’s a Hawaii thing ;)” – Katrina

Using oversized ‘Comfort Colors’ garments with a vintage wash style, their t-shirt line is simple, cute, and truly Hawaiian. Hawaii itself is what inspires a lot of Splash! Hawaii’s designs.



“It is very unique to be surrounded by water, almost spiritual. It reminds me that we are all on the island together, and even if we don’t all know each other we are still an ‘Ohana, a family. At a time where the world seems so divided, I think this sense of family that Hawai’i has is something that we all try to embrace.” – Katrina

Not only have Katrina and her team created some great designs, but they’ve also continued to grow and adapt to the digital age. Splash! Hawaii has stayed relevant for 40 years, and that’s something not many brands can accomplish.



Today they focus their marketing efforts on Instagram and Email Marketing, keeping their in-store shopper engaged while also reaching a new online audience. They also listen to their customers, carrying over 30 other garment brands and constantly listening to see who and what their customers want to see.

Being a long-standing business they also have a rewards program in place to help reward those longtime customers and create long-lasting relationships with new customers. Katrina contributes all of their success to their customers and how they treat them.



“In terms of customers, create an experience. Customer service is key, but not in a pushy way. Create a customer loyalty list or program. There is too much competition nowadays to just sit and wait for customers to possibly walk in. We need to bring them in and keep them coming.” – Katrina

Splash! Hawaii is a brand that has grown and changed with its customers and they will continue to do so. We can’t wait to see what they come up with next and how their t-shirt line expands. They show that simple designs are eye-catching in the easiest way



And….

“Remember that sometimes less is more”

Check out spring

Work From Home – Top Options

Posted on Thursday, April 23rd, 2020 at 8:00 pm.

Written by sothatway



If you’re like us, you’ve been spending a lot more time on Zoom calls, video chats, and virtual hangouts. Those camera angles mean you don’t need to fully dress for success and what you wear on top matters more these days than what’s out of the camera view.

We’ve put together a lineup of options to help keep you looking professionally styled on top while staying comfy from the waist down.



J. America 9881 and Tultex 1910

FLEECE



ITC 224500, Next Level 9001, and Dyenomite 680VR

ITC SS4500 – Midweight Fleece Hoodie

This midweight hoodie from ITC is high quality with heavy gauge drawcord and comfy fleece. Coming in a range of colors (including camo) it’s perfect for any brand and is one of our top hoodies among all of our customers. (featured in Camo)

Next Level 9001 – Fleece Crew w/ Pocket

A crewneck sweatshirt with a pocket? Not just any pocket though. In WFH life this is your official snack pocket!

Dyenomite 680VR – Tie Dye Hoodie

Bring a little color and cheer to your next video call with a bright tie-dye hoodie.



Alternative Apparel 8626F, J. America 8891, and Tultex 1910

Alternative Apparel 8626F – Lazy Day Pullover

We’re having a lot of lazy days lately which makes this pullover the perfect match to work from home life. Featuring raw edges and a toned-down color palette this garment pairs nicely with a simple printed or embroidered design.

J. America 8891 – Quilted Pullover

Popular in collegiate apparel, this quilted pullover from J. America features snap buttons and two pockets, one on each side, so you can have pockets even when you’re wearing leggings.

Tultex 1910 – Heritage Hoodie

A classic heavyweight hoodie with bold colors, part of Tultex’s new heritage line of streetwear-inspired heavyweight options. Sneak Peek – Coming at the end of the month!



District DT571

FRENCH TERRY

District DT571 – Featherweight French Terry Hoodie

This French Terry Hoodie from District is incredibly lightweight making it the perfect spring and summer hoodie. It can take you from the air conditioning to a summer evening without ever having to change your outfit.



District DT571 and Alternative Apparel 9575CT

Alternative Apparel 9575CT – Washed Terry Champ Sweatshirt

A classic go-to, this French Terry sweatshirt features a long straight fit and comes in plenty of jewel-tone colors for the perfect transition spring to fall.



Alternative Apparel 5114E

CROPPED TEES

Alternative Apparel 5114E – Eco Headliner Cropped Tee

Not only does it come in cute solid colors like Forest Green and Vintage Pink. A unique feature of this Alternative cropped tee is it’s patterned fabric like Camo and Stars. Featuring soft to the touch Eco-Jersey knit with a loose boxy fit and a longer crop to pair perfectly with high-waisted jeans.



Next Level 7481S and Next Level 5080

[apathycarestostudy]

My Studyblr: a year-ish into it

(Well, technically speaking, I had this blog for a bit longer, but I hadn’t been posting much before this year.)

Hello. Welcome to my blog. This is where I amass all the stuff I’ve seen, or learnt, or heard that I would love to spread to more people. I’ve never had the type of relationship I’ve desired with a friend - to strive to better together, the greatest accountability partners, loyal to each other and our goals; competitive with each other, but stop to pull the other person forward once one took the lead. I had one during elementary school, and it was the one thing I wish I still had. Not necessarily with that person, but with multiple someones as I went on with my life.

Fast forward past my own self exile, I was excited to make friends in college. I did in my friends eyes, but I didn’t. I just gained a few fun appendices that were there just to be there, and mooch off of my efforts. They would get handed resources from our seniors simply because they were ‘country mates’ (for all my international students - you know). They’d share it with me, expect me to pick up the slack in the stuff they lacked, and equate the two in terms of effort. Now I’m three years in and I couldn’t be more excited to finish up my last year and disappear.

I can seem socially inept, because I spent the entirety of my life honing my academic skill, but I’m in tune with people’s emotions and reasoning because I honed my observational skills as well. I write as a means to vent my frustrations. I care deeply for my family. I’m a firm believer of working hard and only rewarding yourself when you do, you can have fun without and in spite of people, and reading is essential to growth, but not a staple for high intellect. I thrive in my imposter syndrome, which is redundant, but works. I can be rigid as all hell, but I’m the biggest goofball troll oddity in, like, ever. I looooove anime.

Sooo what’s this blog for? It’s to strive to better together, the greatest accountability partners, loyal to each other and our goals; competitive with each other, but stop to pull the other person forward once one took the lead.

I’m eating healthier now. I plan to take more walks now that I finished the semester. I enjoy the hell out of highlighting stuff (tho I keep it to two highlighters at a time only). I don’t have cute notes, but I wanna share more of myself - not preach and scream advice all the time - I want to know you all too.

So this is real, this is me, this is a piece of who I’m striving to be (y’all. i did it).

Feel free to send me asks, random stuff, or input. My inbox and PMs are always open.

May we urge our ducks to gather in a line~