#I need you to know I’m fucking wheezing of laughter

[highlordofkrypton]

why are you an expert on the harvesting of maple syrup ? is it taught in c*n*dian schools, do you mean to tell me youre one of them c*n*dians.........🫣

I eat maple syrup 😤 Maybe if YOU 🫵 had 🥣 MAPLE 🍁 SYRUP ☕️ You’d know!!

AND FUN FACT, YES IT IS! TO LIVE HERE YOU NEED TO GO TO THE CABANE À SUCRE!!

IN SPRING

[mingtinysworld]

Lock your windows

Pairing: jung wooyoung x fem!reader

Genre: smut, "dark" romance

Word count: 1.8k

Summary: After a discussion with your experimental boyfriend, you two are able to play out one of your long awaited fantasies

Warnings: MDNI, CNC, "stalker" wooyoung, role playing?? oral (m/f receiving), fingering, mention of a safe word, it seems noncon but just read til the end please trust me😭

Network: @newworldnet

A/n: idk why but the idea of wooyoung being a stalker is so hot to me. I also know he would be such an experimental partner to have, it's driving me insane. I need him so very badly

You and your friends screech in laughter as someone says something hilarious. You and your friend group have been out for a couple hours now, drinking, eating, shopping, just having the best night out ever. The air is warm and stale, the humidity making your hair puff up in frizziness.

As you stumble along the path in your black high heels and sparkly silver dress you stand out, like a shiny pearl in the ocean. The glitter makes shadows on the dimly lit walls, making the light bounce off. You start laughing at something again when you suddenly stop.

A shiver slithers up your spine and makes the hairs of your nape stand up in alarm. Your friends realize you’re not following them anymore and they stare in confusion. They ask if you’re ok but you’re too busy looking around, trying to find the source of the eerie feeling.

You can’t seem to find anything in the shadows and tentatively take steps forward. Your friends look at each other with raised eyebrows but choose to shrug it off. You keep walking but you don’t say anything until you reach your doorstep. They say goodnight and leave you to your apartment.

You walk in and throw yourself on the cushiony couch, resting your eyes from exhaustion. You tap your foot quietly and hum a random tune that’s been stuck in your head all day when you hear a distant clatter from the direction of your bedroom and your eyes shoot open and foot stops tapping. You stand up curiously and walk towards your room.

As you walk in you can feel a cold breeze and you blink in confusion. You see that your window is wide open, blinds pulled apart. You don’t remember leaving your window open but you must’ve been in a rush and didn’t even realize. You shake your head at your inattentiveness and close it shut. You return to your spot on the couch and shut your eyes once more.

There’s clattering coming from the same direction again and you sit up in alarm this time. You warily go to your room, trying to inspect what the noise is. You see the window is open again, making the curtain billow in the wind.

“What the fuck.” You exclaim. You’re convinced you’re going crazy. You’re sure you closed it, but maybe the day is really getting to your head. You take a step and are thrown down to the ground in an instant. You gasp from the impact, managing to catch yourself on your elbows, but your knees are on fire from the carpet burn.

You try to turn on your back and find that your movements are restricted from a weight on your lower back. It feels like a boot is pressing you down, pushing the air out of your lungs. You breathe in tightly and your whole body tenses. You whimper in pain and the pressure lifts a little and you sigh in relief.

“Hi my love, we finally meet.” The stranger speaks with a low tone.

“W-who are you?” You wheeze out.

“I’m your lover of course, who else would I be?” He says matter of factly. You furrow your eyebrow in confusion.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” You try to talk without your voice betraying your fear. He chuckles at that and completely removes his boot.

“Oh you’ll understand what I mean soon.”

He reaches down to turn you over. As you lay on your back in the dark room, you observe his face as best you can, the only light provided being the single lamppost outside. He has long jet black hair and dark glimmering eyes. His nose has a perfect point and his mouth is turned up at the corners in a sneer.

He also studies you in turn. Your beauty up close does not compare to the months of watching you from afar. The hundreds of photographs hanging in his room pale in comparison. He’s filled with so much pure excitement at seeing you face to face finally.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this moment. For the day I get to caress your face, for the day I get to hear your sinful noises brought out by me. I’ve been very, very patient and this is my reward.” He looks into your eyes deeply, as if he’s mentally willing you to believe his words.

You feel a shiver go up your spine as you realize that the man is completely serious. He truly believes his delusions and it isn’t up for a discussion. He looks down at his silver watch, as if he’s on a mission. With a growing dread and arousal you realize that he is on a mission.

You are the mission.

You continue to stare at him with wide, fearful eyes as he straddles your still form. He leans into your neck and just stays there, nose taking in your scent deeply. He inhales and exhales and groans quietly. With his mouth muffled against your collarbone, he speaks.

“I can just smell the arousal coming off of you. You really love this huh.” You let out a small whimper at that and he raises his head.

“Don’t worry angel, Wooyoung is here to take care of you. I got you.” He speaks with a promising tone.

He leans in once more and he can feel your rapid heartbeat, which only aids in exciting him further. He kisses you with ease, almost intimately, caressing your bare arms and leaving goosebumps in his wake. You try to use your knee to push him off and he growls into your open mouth. The sweet kiss turns into an animalistic one. He gropes your breasts and kisses you breathless. As he rocks back and forth across your abdomen you can feel his growing bulge.

You feel your cunt throb emptily, needing something you’re too ashamed to admit. You submit to his feverish kisses and try to relax your body. He notices the change and grins in response.

“There you are, my love. Let’s get to the bed, shall we? I’d rather take you on a softer material.” He mockingly pouts and furrows his eyebrows. He lifts you up with ease and gently sets you on the bed. His hands settle underneath your shirt, slightly tickling your stomach. You squirm in hopes that he touches you sometime soon, or else you’ll explode.

He trails down your body, reaching your flimsy shorts and teasingly blows air on you. You buck your hips instinctively and he holds you down, clucking his tongue in disapproval.

“Nuh uh baby, I thought you were gonna be good for me?” He cocks his head sideways, questioning you.

“Yes, yes, I will, I promise.” You babble, feeling fucked out already.

He gives you a soft smile and rubs your thighs soothingly before landing a harsh smack. Your body jolts in reaction but you manage to hold in your yelp. Without wasting another second he pulls your shorts aside and dives in.

You muffle your moan into the palm of your hand, feeling like you need to scream. The stimulation is making you feel relief but so much torture at the same time. Wooyoung’s expert tongue is lapping up your slick, almost like a hungry animal and when he looks up at you, his gaze is as sharp as a predator.

His finger finds your clit with ease and twists and pulls as you mewl pathetically. Not once does he come up for air, he practically buries his head in your pussy, prodding his tongue into every crevice.

“You taste so sweet mmhh.” Wooyoung moans into your pussy, sending vibrations up your body. He digs his fingers into your hips, holding you even closer. You have to bite on your hand now to keep yourself quiet. He slightly bites down on your clit and you let out a shriek. Your body jolts up and you cum with a shuddering breath.

He finally removes himself from you and stares down at the state of your cunt. It’s a sopping wet mess, covered in spit and slick. His face is also covered in your juices, and he greedily licks up what he can. You close your eyes in an attempt to recover, but it’s interrupted by his fingers.

He rams two fingers deep into you until he’s knuckle deep. He finds your g-spot immediately and you see stars, making you hold on to his wrist in a desperate attempt, but he simply pins your hand to your side. You grind your hips deeper into his fingers, needing to feel more. He reads your mind and adds in a third finger.

You moan at the stretch and clamp around him. He looks at your face intently, watching your screwed up face of pleasure. He wastes no time adding a final fourth finger. You gasp at the sensation and convulse from the intensity. Your whole body shakes as you reach the peak of your climax. You cry out and gush around Wooyoung’s slender fingers and he fucks you through your orgasm.

You groan lightly, feeling the energy escape your body. Wooyoung softly caresses your stomach to bring you down and you close your eyes and breathe out. He crawls to you slowly, and you open one eye from feeling the dip of the mattress.

Wooyoung takes your hand and puts it over his hardened bulge. He grinds into your hand slowly, letting out groans of satisfaction. Due to your exhaustion he chooses to go easy on you. He pulls down his pants and gets closer to your awaiting mouth. He slides in slowly, only going halfway. You let your mouth go slack and have him use you gently. He moves in and out, poking the inside of your cheek occasionally. You land a soft hand on him once more and attempt to help out. He throws his head back and enjoys the sensation of your warm mouth.

With a few more soft thrusts he pulls out of your mouth and cums all over your breasts. Once he comes down from his high he grabs towels to clean you up. He gently dabs at your used cunt and slick thighs, including your now cum stained breasts. You feel sleep calling your name and let out a content sigh. Wooyoung notices and lets out a giggle whilst cuddling up to your side.

"Thank you for trusting me baby." He expresses his gratitude by giving small pecks to your face.

"I told you I wouldn't have to use my safe word. You were perfect." You mumble, only half awake.

"I know love, but it's always good to be prepared. It would kill me if I ever hurt you." He speaks reverently, like you're a goddess to worship.

You give him a grunt of acknowledgement to let him know you're still listening even though your tired body is screaming for sleep. Wooyoung looks at your serene face, remembering how wild and frenzied you had looked only moments prior. Before you're completely out he leans down to whisper in your ear.

"I guess this is what happens when you don't lock your windows baby."

[oneforthemunny]

strangerprompts: turn back time |eddie munson x reader|

prompt: #8 you step into a hole-in-the-wall bar for a drink and suddenly find yourself in a different decade.

from strangerprompts writing challenge made by @bettyfrommars @allthingsjoeq and @somnambulic-thing <3 this was so fun!!! please check it out and consider writing for yourself!

warnings: language. time travel. but nothing crazy.

“It should be illegal.” You huff, nails digging into the leather of your steering wheel. The GPS shouted at you another robotic turn, drumming out the sound of your roommate on the other line. 

“I mean, seriously? Making me travel alone to- to the middle of nowhere. Ro, I’m not even kidding, it looks like the town Deliverance was filmed in. It’s the middle of nowhere.” You scoff, looking at the rundown building passing by you, all crumbling with desperate need of a renovation. 

“No, it can’t be Deliverance. They didn’t have hotels there.” Roslyn snicker floated through your car’s speakers. “C’mon, it’s not that bad.” 

“It is.” You grumbled. “And then they want us to meet at this bar for mingling. I don’t even know if I’m going to the right place!” You threw your hands up, smacking them on the steering wheel dramatically, turning it as the GPS announced you’d arrived. 

The Hideout- or at least, that’s what you could make out from the peeling sign above the building. “Jesus Christ, I’m getting murdered.” You muttered, sending Ro howling in laughter. “I’m not even joking. I’m about to be a topic on a fucking podcast.” 

“Stop.” Roslyn wheezed through laughter. “You’re not gonna get murdered.” 

“I don’t- This place doesn’t even look open.” You exhaled sharply, flicking through your phone, ensuring this was the right place. “Ro, you have to swear to me if I get murdered, you’ll make sure the true crime freaks won’t make Etsy merch about me.” 

“Calm down,” Ro laughed. “You’re not gonna get murdered. It’s just not the hipster ass bars you’re used to.” 

“No,” You muttered, locking your door quickly, clutching your purse to your side. “I really might. Stay on the phone with me.” 

“What?” Roslyn’s voice broke through the static. “I can’t- You’re cutting ou-” 

“Fuck.” You hissed, looking down at your phone as you climbed the stairs. Call Failed flashing back at you, no bars to be found. 

Turn around, get back in your car, and say fuck it. You do not need this job this bad. 

Yes, you actually do. 

A painful reminder of your maxed credit card, student loans, and rent flashed before your eyes, silencing your bitter thoughts. Sliding your phone into your purse, you clung to the strap tightly.

“Just stay fifteen minutes, then say you feel sick.” You muttered to yourself, reaching for the rusted handle. 

The entryway was dark, eerily quiet to be a bar. You almost thought it wasn’t one, if it wasn’t for the bright neon sign shining at the end. Welcome! Glowing in blinding red letters, underneath it in blue, the piercing glow that read: Stay A While. 

“So weird.” You muttered, your arms wrapping around yourself. 

The air turned colder with every step you took, following the bright signs- the only source of light, down the dark hallway. Your heart hammered in your ears, clutching your purse close to you. Just as you were about to panic, chest swelling with fear, veins icy as the air- you heard it. 

A muffled roar of an electric guitar, a tiny sliver of golden light peering beneath the heavy door. You pushed the door open, met with a sudden wave of warmth, the dim lights of the bar blinding you still. 

“Watch it, sweetheart.” A man with a tray of beers muttered, swiveling past you. 

“Sorry,” You squeaked, looking around the crowded dive bar. You scanned the packed tables for anyone from the conference, shimmying in between tables, peering over teased hair for anyone. 

“Fuck me,” You huffed, settling at a sticky bar booth, still littered with half drank beers and peanuts- the only one available. “No way I’m the first one.” 

You plopped your purse on to the seat of the booth, an iron grip still on the strap. You could feel the cutting glances still cast on you from the others, they’d had followed you from the moment you walked in. Judgemental, all accompanied with a lifted brow. 

Should look in the mirror, You thought bitterly, rummaging through your purse. They’re the ones wearing that outdated, ugly shit.

“Where the fuck- I know I put it in here.” You muttered, taking out the wrappers, your wallet, desperately trying to find your phone. 

“‘Scuse me,” You jumped, eyes wide when you looked up, clutching your purse to your chest. 

Dark eyes met yours, a dimpled smile joining them. “Sorry,” The man lifted his hand carefully, the other balancing a black bucket stacked with glasses. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Just wanted to see if it was ok if I clear this outta the way for you?” 

“Y-Yeah, sorry.” You muttered bashfully. “Yes, that would be great. Thank you.” 

A ringed hand passed in front of you, the light catching in the skull before it grabbed a glass. You moved back to your purse, furiously checking each pocket, chest growing tighter and tighter with fear. 

“You alright?” The busboy asked, swiping another glass, stacking it into the bucket with a soft rattling clank. 

“Yeah- I mean, not really.” You turned, head craning towards the door. “I think I lost my phone in that hallway.” 

“Hallway?” He laughed, his name tag flashing towards you- Eddie, decorated with sharpie drawn bats and devil horns. “Phone’s on the wall over there.” Eddie nodded towards the bar, an old dial up phone mounted there, a sign that the charge is a quarter above it. 

Your brows creased. You didn’t even know those things worked, you always assumed they were decoration for the… edgy aesthetic of the place. 

“No, I mean my cell phone.” You shook your head lightly. “I think I dropped it in that hallway back there.” You pointed towards the swinging door. 

Eddie frowned at you, stilling as his eyes scanned your features. “Are you- Are you feeling ok?” He asked. 

“What?” You snapped defensively. 

“Did someone slip something in your drink or something?” Eddie asked carefully. “Gotta be careful with those old guys. They look harmless but they’re gnarly-” 

“-What? No.” You shook your head, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I-I haven’t even had a drink. I just got here. I’m supposed to meet some people from a conference, but I can’t find my phone-” 

“-Your phone?” Eddie’s nose crinkled in confusion. 

“Yes. My phone.” You barked in irritation. “My cell phone?” 

Eddie blinked at you. “What is that European?” He shrugged. 

“What? Are you fucking with me-” 

“-No,” Eddie held his hands up. “No, I just- I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” He laughed nervously. “And I mean you’re dressed… different. Not that it’s bad!” He added frantically. 

“I just assumed you were European or something. Not from here anyways.” Eddie muttered, leaning against the table. 

You blinked. It felt like you were in a dream, like everything you were saying was mute, confusing, in Wonderland and entirely discombobulated. 

“You… You don’t have cell phones here?” You asked slowly. 

Eddie shook his head, curls bouncing. “Nope. Not here, sweetheart. Hasn’t made its way to Hawkins, Indiana yet, but sounds pretty-” 

“-What?” You hissed, chest booming with a fear filled ache, sure your heart had stopped entirely. “What did you just say?” 

Eddie’s face fell, his flirtatious grin disappearing. “Hawkins? Indiana?” He said slowly, eyes narrowing when your face paled. “Hey, are you ok? Did you take something?” 

“N-No, I-I don’t- I d-didn’t-” 

“-Look,” Eddie slid into the booth beside you. “You’re not gonna scare me off if you did somethin’, alright? I’m not nearly as conservative as these other bogus losers.” 

You couldn’t speak, mouth dry, heart caught in your throat, hammering away so fiercely your ears were ringing. “What’d you take? Blow? K? Pills or somethin’?” His arm brushed yours, head ducking towards you. “It’s fine, whatever it is, I’m- I’m really good with dealing with this sorta thing, if you can believe it.” 

“I-I didn’t take anything.” You droned, nearly automated. “I just- I-I was walking down the hallway, and-” 

“-Hey, I’m just trying to help you.” Eddie said softly, his tone pulling your attention back to meet his gaze. “Did you hit your head?” 

“N-No, I- The hallway-” 

“-That,” Eddie pointed towards the swinging door. “Is a bathroom.” You watched as the door swung open, as if on cue, a girl with blue painted lids and crimped hair piled high stepping out. 

“The closest thing to a hallway here is to the dumpster out back.” Eddie grinned at you softly. It was sweet, but you couldn’t bring yourself to smile back, body trembling with fear. 

Eddie felt it, frowning at you softly. “Do you need me to call an ambulance? Call someone for you?” 

“No,” You swallowed hard. “I-I need to leave. I have-I gotta get out of here.” Panic rose through your chest, trying to push him out of the booth, climb over him, anything. 

“Hey, easy,” Eddie slid out of your way. “Hang on-” You ignored him, pushing past him towards the door. 

Outside, the sun was still just beginning to set, that was the only thing that was the same. 

Your car was gone, in its place a line of cars- old cars, but still shiny? Still new, not rusted with wear or dulled colors from age. The buildings were no longer crumbling, signs still new and displayed proudly. 

“No, no, no, no.” Your chest heaved, fingers threading through your hair. “What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck is going on?” 

“Hey!” Eddie grabbed your shoulder, pulling your attention towards him. “Hey, I-I don’t think you should be driving-” 

“-My car.” You gasped. “Where the fuck is my car? I-It was right here,” You turned, throwing your hands out. “Right here!” 

Eddie looked around, a blush rising to his cheeks at the judgy looks the passersby were giving. “Maybe you should come back inside-” 

“-No.” You barked, shaking your head furiously. “No. I-I’m not-” Through the window, a glimmer of a photo caught your eye. 

Your walk back inside felt nearly trance like, everything underwater, Eddie’s voice droning out with the others. A painting of two cartoonized children waving fistfuls of flowers gleefully- though that wasn’t what caught your attention. It was the printed lettering underneath it that made your blood run cold. 

“Hey, why don’t you take a seat, an-and I’ll call someone-” 

“-Is this,” You swallowed, pointing at the wall. “This isn’t right, r-right? Thi-This isn’t- There’s no way.” 

Eddie frowned, looking at the wall. “I mean, yeah, it needs to be changed now. I guess it’s technically May now, Mick just hasn’t gotten around to flipping it-” 

“-No, this-this says…” Your finger traced the numbers, glaring at you in bright red. “1986?” You squeaked. 

Eddie blinked at you. “Yeah,” He nodded slowly. 

Your vision filled with dark splotches, fading in and out of focus on the calendar in front of you. Your knees buckled, purse slipping between your fingers before you fell limply, Eddie’s frantic voice ringing in your ears the last thing you heard before your consciousness slipped. 

[emmyrosee]

“Daddy!!”

“Yes, Hisako?”

The fire alarm has got to be fixed. It’s kept him, you, and your always patient four year old up all night and it’s absolutely showing.

Atsumu’s had it up to here. Between Osamu and Rintaro questioning every single move he makes to fix the beeping fire alarm, and his four year old, coming up every four minutes to ask him questions or make demands or just being a little menace, to the point where even his brother takes pity on him and takes her away and entertains her for a bit.

“Daddy! I need you!”

“Hisako, please,” he begs. “Please tell me what’s wrong, or get uncle Osamu or Rintaro to help you.”

“But I want you,” she whines.

“I understand, but you need to be patient with daddy, okay-“

“Daddyyyyy!” She says petulantly, stomping her foot. Atsumu screws his eyes shut. “It’s impotent!”

The room falls silent. Atsumu’s eyes fly back open, and osamu tries to hold a bit of decorum while Rintaro positively cackles at the four year old, clutching his sides and smacking the counter.

Osamu clears his throat and scoops Hisako in his arms, “doll… do you mean important?”

“No,” she defends. “Impotent. Means it’s impotent!”

Rintaro stands no chance at catching his breath at this point. He’s fallen to his knees while he screams laughter as loud as he can, and Hisako giggles in Osamu’s neck in reaction.

Two big hands scrub down Atsumu’s face, “do I even want to know… where you heard that word?”

“Uncle Shi-Shi.”

Rintaro almost pisses his pants.

“WHY DOES UNCLE SHINSUKE SAY THAT WORD IN FRONT OF YOU?”

“‘Cause when you call, he asks why is impotent.”

Rintaro gasps for air, “please. Please, ‘Sako. I’m gonna die.”

She gasps, “don’t die uncle ‘taro!”

“Rintaro!”

“Daddy?”

“Atsumu answer your daughter!”

“I DONT KNOW HOW, OSAMU!”

“Uncle osamu?”

“DONT YOU START WITH ME, TSUMU!”

“I’m gonna piss my pants-“

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!” You scream, not realizing Hisako was right in Osamu’s arms.

“Mumma!”

“Babe-“

The room falls silent for a second, all wide eyes looking at you. Your hands come up to cover your mouth. Rintaro starts to wheeze.

Hisako leans next to Osamu’s ear, “mommy said the fuck-word,” she says.

Osamu shushes her, “you can’t say the word.”

“That’s why I said fuck-word.”

“You have to say f-word, lean cuisine,” rintaro manages.

“…..fuck.”

“HISAKO!”

—-

Tagging you 🥺 @reverie-starlight @wolffmaiden @thoreeo @aliensknowmyillusions @tutuwusworld @lavishcherie @sassycheesecake @cheolattes @rrairey @unknownspecies

[moralesmilesanhour]

seeing double

summary: Milo keeps getting mistaken for Miles and he's like really over it wc: ~500' a/n: I feel like I've just been writing heavy-ish stuff non-stop so I thought I'd just do something for the sillies. Here is my masterlist for more Stuff

“Yo, Miles, we got a problem–oh.”

Milo gave Ganke Lee an icy glare from where he sat on the stoop in front of his house. The husky Korean boy had met his twin brother in ninth grade, and the two became fast friends. They were not close enough, apparently, for Ganke to avoid occasionally mistaking the two boys and spilling bits and pieces of secret plans that Milo was decidedly not a part of. Like being fucking Spider-Man. The braids seemed to help, though not by a large margin.

Milo pulled back his purple hoodie to reveal them, for emphasis.

“Yeah, wrong guy,” he said flatly. “Need me to text him?”

Ganke tensed. 

“Um, nah, I think I’ll be able to find him.”

Milo scoffed. “Scared you’re gonna spill his lil’ ‘secret identity’?”

The other boy’s eyes widened.

“You…You know?”

“I know how to put two and two together, Lee. Now do you need me to text him or not?”

Ganke pursed his lips for a second, then shrugged. “Tell him the Goblin’s loose again. See ya.”

He gave a quick salute, then began to jog back in the direction he came from.

The rest of Miles’ week went about the same way:

“Miles, how’s the art project coming along?”

“I’m not Miles.”

“We miss you, Miles!”

“Not Miles, but I’ll pass the message along.”

“Miles, it's not funny. Let's go.”

“I'm. Not. Miles!”

You struggled to tug your boyfriend along behind you before the showing time for the movie you two had picked out rolled around. The tight new cornrows sitting on top of his head seemed to be cutting off the flow to his brain, because he seemed to have no idea what you were talking about. 

“We're gonna be late!”

“Late to what?”

Fully on the brink of giving up, you dropped his hand and spun around to face him.

“Look, do you wanna go or not? You can't keep flaking on me like this, this is the third time–”

“And it won't happen again!”

There, jogging up to you in a white sweatshirt, hair very clearly un-braided, was Miles. 

You blinked hard a few times, then looked back at Not Miles, who had his arms crossed in irritation. 

“Yo, your girl tried to kidnap me just now,” he snapped. “Can you not be late to everything?”

The real Miles glanced between you and his twin for a moment before bursting into a wheezing fit of laughter.

“It's not funny!” You both said in unison as he held his stomach. 

After wiping a tear from his eye and regaining his composure, he gestured towards Not Miles. 

“You wanna introduce yourself first?”

Not Miles sighed.

“Milo Morales. My real name's Manuel, but I don't want nobody calling me ‘Manny’, so I go by Milo. Don't forget it.”

You narrowed your eyes at Miles.

“Why didn't you tell me you had a brother with the same face as you?”

He shrugged. 

“Wasn’t important information at the time.”

“ ‘Wasn't important’– I almost took your brother out on a date by accident!”

“You're not my type.”

“Alright, look,”

Miles took your hand. His palm was softer than Milo's, you noted.

“I'll explain at the movies, I promise.”

Your expression softened, and you squeezed his hand back.

“You'd better.”

“See you at home?” Miles turned to Milo, who was already stalking off in the other direction with his hands in his pockets. 

“Whatever, man!”

[featherandferns]

teaser for my upcoming fic: sugar

feel free to ask me questions about it!!! we're all in mourning so here's some fluff non-canon season 4 jj x reader

content warnings: dr*g use; mentions of s*xual themes

“JJ, I mean it,” you say, your tone losing its humour now. You shoot him a look that you hope will put a pin in it. “We should talk about something else.”

“Alright, alright,” JJ surrenders, holding his hands up and all. He relaxes back against the plastic seat of the boat and you do the same. Your legs outstretch so you can rest your feet on the spot beside him. The two of you catch each other’s gaze and look away, chuckling bashfully like preteens. You take another hit of the joint and watch the smoke fizzle away into the night. “How’d you meet Mark, then?”

You glance at JJ. “A few months back. He’d just moved to Kildare and came by to The Stirring Spoon to help out, and we sort of hit it off.”

“He seems like a nice guy.”

“He is,” you smile. But it fades. The weed tickles at your emotions, pulling the wires as if to wreak havoc. JJ seems to take advantage. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you lie. You take another hit and shake your head, plastering on a smile. “It’s nothing.”

Sighing, JJ folds his arms comfortably over his chest. “Y’know, just cause I know what you look like naked don’t mean we can’t be friends now.”

Barking out a laugh, you shake your head. “There was definitely a better way you could have put that.”

“Probably,” he shrugs, grinning, “but it’s true, ain’t it? We can be friends.”

“Of course we can. We are,” you emphasise. 

“So…That means that if you wanna vent about Mr Loverboy to me, you can,” JJ offers. 

Laughing, you rock your head back and gaze up at the sky. The stars are out. They shimmer white and crystal in the abyss of the night. “That’d be too weird, I think, but I’ll keep it in mind, thanks.”

“I just got one question. Just one.”

“Go on,” you reluctantly reply. 

“Does he say ‘thank you’ after the two of you fuck?”

You burst into fits of laughter. It’s so sudden that it has you doubling over. Tears slip from your eyes and you wipe them away, looking at a grinning JJ. God, you missed him and his twisted sense of humour. 

“He just looks like the kinda guy who would!”

“Oh my God, no!” you laugh, shaking your head. Catching your breath, you manage out, “no, he doesn’t say ‘thank you’.”

“Is he the sub then? Cause there is no way that guy is laying his hands on you without written permission.”

“JJ stop! I’m gonna pee myself!” you cackle, kicking your feet. JJ starts laughing too. You open your eyes and make out his face in the lowlight of the pier’s lamp. Wheezing, you catch your breath and calm yourself. “This is exactly what I was talking about.”

“I can give the guy pointers if he needs them,” JJ jokes. Your eyes nearly fall out of their sockets just at the idea though and you point at him in another warning. 

“Don’t you dare!” you say, trying not to crack up again. “‘Sides, he doesn’t need pointers.”

“Everybody needs pointers,” JJ says with a roll of his eyes. “John B gave me one of the best pointers.”

“I find that impossible to believe,” you snort. 

“He did! It was a tip for kissing. Works like a fucking charm too, I’m telling ya.”

“Mhm, I’ll bet,” you sarcastically return. You glance at the joint to check if it needs tapping off, take another drag, and then look up to find JJ watching you. He hasn’t changed enough for you to forget what that expression means. 

“You want me to show you?”

“Show me? How?” you say with furrowed brows. Something in the air shifts with your question. An unspoken thing, an unseeable thing, but something nonetheless. A nervous tickle comes to your throat. 

JJ doesn’t reply but he slowly leans over the seat towards you. Your breath catches in your lungs the moment he enters your bubble, breaking some unspoken barrier, and your smile fades away like day into night. You feel as though you’re stuck in place, plastered to the seat, and you’re ashamed to admit that you don’t hate that you are. You’re ashamed that you’re not pushing him away, telling him to buzz off, laughing at his idiocy. You’re ashamed that you’re curious as to what he’s going to do next. 

JJ’s close enough now that you can smell him. His cologne mixed with something sweet but tangy, like seasalt and citrus. Something masculine underneath, that has a primal instinct inside of you wanting to claw its way out. Your fingers grip the edge of the seat instead. Your eyes stare into his. You study the laps of green and grey in the sea of blue, mesmerised in the way the night sky reflects in the iris. His gaze darts down to your lips and you have no idea how this happened and how you got here, and everything is blurry but so, so clear from the cannabis as he leans forward, and you can’t move but you should move and you want to move but you don’t, you never want to move again, as his lips brush against yours just so, just enough for you to know that they have, that he has, that he’s real, but that he hasn’t, and that you can take it all back, and that it doesn’t count and it shouldn’t and you shouldn’t but–

[fuctacles]

For @steddielovemonth day 12th prompt by @acasualcrossfade

M | 1383 | cw: trans pregnancy | modern AU, ftmEddie

Steve wakes up and does the first logical thing that all people do. Checks his phone.

He blinks at the bright screen trying to decipher his notifications and sighs when he realizes the group chat is flooded with messages. It’s nothing new, although it never hit 99+ before. He scrolls up to catch up with whatever his friends have been up to at night. Wonders if he’s the only one that uses nighttime for rest.

He’s groggy with sleep and as he passes through the chat log, he’s struggling to make sense of the messages he’s seeing.

>>How about a gender-neutral one?

>>I vote Elrond!

>>WHO’S GONNA BE THE GODPARENTS

He scrolls and scrolls and finally reaches The Photo. And things, unfortunately, start to make sense. 

It’s a photo of a pregnancy test.

He immediately goes to his chat with Eddie. Tries to type a message, fails, and hits the call button. It takes a considerable amount of time for Eddie to pick up.

“The fuck do you want?” he growls upon answering, voice thick and distant. Steve clearly just woke him up but he couldn’t give two shits about it right now.

“Why didn’t you tell me first? Wait, is it not mine? No, wait, you can tell whoever you want, of course, but, is it mine?”

“What?” Eddie sounds tired and angry which, fair, it’s 7 AM, not his usual waking hour.

“We skipped the condom a couple of times, but you said it’s not possible, not with all the hormones you’re taking. I’m not mad, I’m not panicking, I just need to know.” Okay, maybe he was panicking a bit, but not bad panicking. It’s just not something he’s prepared for. Is he ready to be a dad? Would Eddie want him to be the dad? Would Eddie want to be a dad? Would he even want to—?

“Shit, fuck, do you want it? Are you okay with your body doing… this? Are you okay?”

“Okay, deep breath, please.” Eddie sounds much more awake now and Steve follows his instruction, anxiously awaiting answers. “I’m not okay; I feel, frankly, betrayed by my body, but I think we’re talking about two different things. Why did you call me? So early, may I add?”

Eddie’s calm. So Steve can be as well. He breathes in and out.

“I saw the group chat. The photo?” He bites his lip. Maybe Eddie hoped he wouldn’t see it at all?

“What? Hold on.”

Steve holds, listening to the shuffling on the other end. He hears the springs on Eddie’s bed creak and thinks it’s finally time to get him a new mattress. Or, if Eddie is up to it, move in together.

He flinches when the soft shuffling of the bedspread is broken by a loud snort, followed by manic laughter. 

Wasn’t it too early for mood swings?

“Stevie, baby,” Eddie finally wheezes out.

“Yes?” He perks up, eager for answers and hopeful from hearing the pet name. 

“Please put on your glasses and look at the photo again,” is all Eddie says, before bursting back into laughter. 

Steve frowns but reaches for his glasses, resting on their usual spot on his bedside table. Once secured on his nose, he opens the chat again and goes straight to the media folder to open the photo in question. He squints his eyes at it.

It’s a covid test, clear as day.

“You’re not pregnant,” he deadpans.

“Nope. Just good old corona.”

“Shit.”

Steve falls on his pillow, completely drained from the emotional rollercoaster. He thinks about calling in sick. He’s too humiliated to show his face to the world and, besides, how is he supposed to teach kids when he’s such a dumb idiot himself?

“And, for the record,” Eddie continues once his chuckles subside, unaware of Steve’s inner turmoil. “I would tell you first, and it would be yours. It’s just been you for a while and I’ve never fucked without a condom before.”

Steve did not know that. He slaps a hand over his mouth so no embarrassing sounds come out at the revelation.

“But yeah, it wouldn’t be possible on my current hormone cocktail. And I don’t think I’d ever be prepared for a little alien growing inside me. It’s one thing to say fuck gender norms for one day and wear a dress and another to completely overturn my body’s ecosystem for a year, maybe more, without turning back.”

“Yeah,” Steve nods because that’s all he can do. He knows a lot about Eddie’s body by this point, but possible pregnancy is not something that comes up in daily conversations.

“Besides, I’ve been talking with my doctors about getting an oophorectomy, so that will be off the table soon anyway.”

Steve frowns, not liking the sound of that but not wanting to assume anything. Again.

“What’s that?” he asks instead.

“Ovaries removal,” Eddie answers easily. “So the hormones they produce don’t fuck with my T shots.”

“Huh.” It will never cease to both anger and amaze Steve how much trans people have to go through to be themselves. “Makes sense, I guess.”

“Mhm. How are you feeling?”

Steve frowns at his ceiling.

“Me? You’re the one with covid.” The fact suddenly, finally, sinks in. “Shit, how long will you be quarantined?”

“Just a week, don’t worry. But I’m asking because you kind of deflated there.”

Steve huffs. 

“My boyfriend has covid, of course I’m—”

“No, I mean, are you disappointed you didn’t put a baby in me?”

Steve chokes on saliva and air, and has to sit up on his bed to take a proper breath.

“Eddie,” he wheezes out in a warning, his face going beet red.

“Are you?” he presses.

“I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Open cards, baby. It’s not on the table, but I won’t be mad if you want it.”

Steve sighs. He worries this kind of thing might break their relationship. It was a topic he avoided, not only with Eddie, but with others he dated before him. Not many people their age are ready for kids talk, for a commitment like that.

“Yeah. Sorry.” Sorry if it’s a deal breaker.

“Don’t be sorry. Nothing bad about wanting to knock up your boyfriend.”

“Eddie.” This time his warning comes with an amused breath.

“What? Just because I won’t do it doesn’t mean I can’t play along.” He can hear him smirk from the other end of town where Eddie’s apartment is. “It’s no condom town, baby, from now on. I want all your cum inside, pushing it deeper with your fingers when you pull out. I’ll keep it inside while we watch TV. And then we’ll go again and again until it catches. Until you give me the baby you want so much.”

Steve whines, eyes closed and imagination running wild.

“Shit, I’m so wet. Didn’t know I have a breeding kink. Huh.”

“Jesus Christ Eddie, you can’t do this to me at the beginning of your quarantine!”

“Well, you’re the one who brought up kids! Which, I think we should have a serious talk about once I’m back in the world.”

“Yeah,” Steve sighs, and presses his eyes closed with resignation. He should have seen it coming. He loves Eddie, which is exactly why he’s been avoiding the topic of a future together, of kids, of a family.

“Yeah, sorry I’ve been holding back but I think I’m ready to make this serious if you are.”

Steve makes a sound. Questioning and confused because it’s all he can give him now.

“I know it’s a long shot, but we could adopt, or find a surrogate. I can wear a belly if it does it for you? Dunno, we’ll figure something out. If you want to, of course.” He’s rambling, which is a sure sign that he’s being sincere.

“I want to,” Steve assures him quickly. He is so relieved, so excited and full of love, that he’s about to cry. “I love you so much.” And there it is, his voice is already shaking, eyes wet.

“I love you too, baby,” Eddie coos back. “Now, can we get back to the horny part? I know you have to get up for work soon.”

Steve laughs at that, hand promptly sliding down his body.

“Yeah, let’s.” 

[peachycrisis]

Human Again

chapter 1

instead of just losing the his microphone and his power when Adam strikes him, Alastor becomes human again. He has never felt so helpless, especially when Adam slices him nearly in half. Alastor has self esteem issues when it comes to becoming human again and the residents of the hotel need to help him.

————

"What just happened?" the deer exclaimed as he looked down at his microphone, he was taken by surprise- his voice... The radio filter was gone. He was shocked by the sound of his own voice. After processing the fact that his voice sounded oddly human, he examined his microphone- which had taken the majority of the force of the first man's attack. Alastor saw that it was broken in half, with each side of the broken staff being jagged and sharp.

"Fuck." the demon exclaimed, as he watched the man walk over to him slowly... expecting another sudden attack, he tried to gather the energy to use his tentacles, or retreat into the shadows- something. But when he tried, nothing happened. He tried snapping, he tried waving around his microphone, he tried hand gestures, even spells- all with no luck. He looked at the angel In Front of him, who seemed to be amused by the radio demons' efforts. He watched as the man erupted into laughter- even tearing up a little from how hard he was laughing.

"Oh... Oh! Oh, this is good- holy fuck!" Adam cried out, pointing at the man in front of him. "Holy fuck, I'm going to cry-" he wheezed. Alastor looked at the man confused.

"Look at yourself Bambi, see anything different about yourself? Oh... Oh, I'm going to beat your ass now you scrawny fuck-" he was cut off by the demon in front of him.

"What are you talking about-" The deer looked down... his hooves were gone, replaced by feet. what the fuck...? the demon thought to himself as he took the time to look down at his hands, which seemed to now be too small for his gloves. He removed one of the gloves, finding a tan colored hand, similar to the color of his skin from when he was alive... His breath hitched as his smile strained. His hands traveled up to his hands... where were his ears...?? Where were his antlers...? The overlord started to internally panic- his smile got wider and sharper as his hands traveled around his body, he rolled up his sleeves showing fleshed toned skin, littered in scars...

"Adam..." Alastor spoke softly... he was human again?? how was this possible...?"

"Adam, sir... what the FUCK did you DO!" He screamed, his smile starting to hurt from how much it's starting to strain.

“Oh.. i dont know to be completely fucking honest.” Adam stated with a deadpanned expression. Alastor looked at him like he had 5 heads.

“Well, time to die! bye bitch!” Adam laughed viciously as he swung his guitar, slicing the former deers body nearly in half. The man screamed- his raw vocals echoing through the air as he was slammed back against the wall by the blunt force of the angelic weapon. He fell to the ground with a thump.

Alastor’s brain went foggy as he felt his throat close up- his newly human body ached from the gushing wound stretching from his hip to his shoulder- he was no stranger to obtaining injuries, but this was nothing like he had ever experienced. His eyes welled up with tears as his smile strained. He had to keep control, he had to keep the facade up. He struggled to sit up, groaning at every movement until he was able to sit up- his signature red suit, now feeling a little tight from his newly human form, became stained with his own blood. If he had his powers, he would have been able to fix this already. He would have been able to kill the Angel. But now, for the first time in nearly a century, he felt helpless.

“I’m gonna have to disagree with you there,” the man exclaimed through groans and winces, lacking his usual static and charm. “Radio is not dead, but it seems like this broadcast had to end a little too early.” He looked down at his hands, seeing his blood gush out of the wound that the angelic weapon caused. By now he would have fled through shadows, but he was left there to sit. Without his demon form, and his microphone- he realized that he stood no chance.

“Well that was solemn, well bye ya red fuck!” Adam exclaimed, waving and spreading his wings- flying away, leaving the former demon on the top of the roof.

As he watched the Angel fly away, he felt his mind scatter- he felt himself lose control, he dug his fingers into his coat, gripping it with all of his might as he felt his tears fall- his smile starting to fade. He was scared. He was the most powerful overlord in all of hell, and now he’s just a useless, injured human in the midst of demons. What was he going to do. He let out a painful sob.

What was he going to do? He looked down, letting his tears fall onto his tan, scar littered skin.

—————

*three days later*

The extermination was over, the loss of sir Pentious and the disappearance of the radio demon weighed heavily on the residents of the hotel. The residents were discussing future plans involving the hotel and their new involvement with sera and her council in Heaven in the lobby when they heard a knock at the door.

“it’s literally midnight, who the fuck would be knocking at this hour” husk sighed.

“Well, husk! Any time is a good time to seek redemption!” The princess exclaimed enthusiastically, heading to the front door. She opened the door with excitement, not even taking the time to observe who was at the door.

“Welcome to the Haz- huh?” she stopped dead in her tracks, observing the man in front of her.

The man looked very human.. a little too human to be in hell. He had a strained smile, sharp and trembling. He had tan skin and curly brown hair, slightly covering his eyes. He wore a white dress shirt with dress pants in a shade of maroon. The man wasn’t wearing shoes. She looked down, seeing the blood that was staining the front of his shirt. He was clutching his chest, and his eyes looked foggy. All the residents observed the man, looking concerned… and confused?

They sat like that for about 45 seconds until husk broke the silence

“Um… is no one gonna talk about how there is a fucking BLEEDING HUMAN at our front door?” Husk exclaimed, gesturing towards the man.

“I don’t appreciate the yelling, Husker.” The man stated, his smile straining as he stared at husk, clutching his chest.

“How do you know my name?” Husk said, defensively.

The man’s smile sharpened, before he fell into the princesses arms- lightheaded and dizzy from the wound.

“Charlie, for my first favor, I need you to help me to my room.” The man said.

“What..?” Charlie said, looking at the man in her arms. She examined him further. She examined his facial features, his stature, his eyes, all very familiar to her- just, more.. human?

“We made a deal remember?” The man gripped on to her tighter, staring into her eyes with what seemed to be fear and pain.

“Alastor?” She said, looking down at the man in shock.

“Yes, dear.” The man’s strained smile relaxed as his body relaxed.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” the cat and the spider both exclaimed at the exact same time.

Well, this is going to be interesting.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

oh no, i hope you get better soon! you deserve to be in the middle of a sleep token cuddle pile with the boys taking care of you :)

Waiting for antibiotics to kick in and hoping that I can get a free day off work tomorrow. 🫡🫧

But also….

No, but imagine them all finding out that you are unwell. You forbid them from coming to visit you because the tour starts soon and you would never forgive yourself if you were to get them sick too. But then you get woken up from your fever nap by your doorbell ringing. So you’re dragging yourself up, hair all messy, a blanket wrapped around your body. And you open the door to them bickering because iii forgot your keys.

“Not my fucking problem that your key is like hers”, he grunts before turning to you, “oh, hun…” and you’re being dragged into iii’s warm embrace. And it’s so comforting and warm and so exactly what your freezing body needs.

“Yeah, out of the hallway”, Vessel orders, “She will get even more ill, it’s windy here”. And then they are practically push you inside. Palm after palm coming to check your forehead. “Guys…”, you grunt, “I told you to not come”, you try to frown but that only results in your head hurting even more. “And have we ever listened, darling”, ii shrugs, already mid-watching up the dirty dishes in your kitchen.

“You need to shower 'cause this ain’t it”, iv pulls at the strand of your hair. “Thanks huh… kind of been busy being sick”, you grunt. “You look cute regardless”, he’s quick to interject with a wink, “I’m just saying that a bath would make you feel better”, he pulls you into his chest and you once again melt into a warm embrace, feeling your eyes closing.

“Come, I’ll help you wash up”, Vessel gently runs a hand down the back of your neck. “I’m not getting naked in front of you”, you wheeze, hiding your face even further into iv chest. “Nothing I haven’t seen before”, Veseel shrugs making you let out a gasp, “You haven’t seen my ass”. Laugher echoes through the apparent. “Questionable statement if we take last new year’s into consideration”, iii snorts. “Who are you to talk to, your dick was out before midnight”, you shoot him a look, sending everyone into fits of laughter once again. “Okay, bath now”, Vessel practically peals you away from iv before scooping you up in his arms, “Fun later”.

You don’t remember much of the bath time. Just Vessel humming beneath his breath as he washed your hair, running a wet cloth down your arms as you soaked in hot water. Every cough that slipped past your lips made him frown more and more. At some point iv had popped his head in to check on you, double-checking on what meds he needed to go grab. Once you were dried off and drowning in iii hoody, a big mug of tea was placed in your hands.

Your living room was now spotless. Blankets you didn’t even know you had thrown all over the sofa. “Chicken noodle soup should be done soon”, ii walked in a tea towel draped over his shoulder. You only crook your head to the side. “Don’t give me that look”, he flicks your nose, “You would do the same for us”. And where he’s not wrong, you still couldn’t get over the four men fussing over you.

“You are being too sweet”, you sigh, letting your body fall into the blankets. “So are you when you stay up for hours on face time after shit shows”, iii muses, scooting in next to you. You smile at him weakly, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Movies and cuddles?”, iv steps through the door, dangling a bag in his hands. “I call dibs on picking”, Vessel hums, pulling your legs over his lap. “You always pick”, iii rolls his eyes yet tosses the remote to him anyway. “Take two”, iv pops pills into his palm before handing them to you, “Save me a spot while I go look for a thermometer”, he pats your thigh before disappearing into the kitchen. “I swear if you all leave me a corner seat I will beat your ass”, ii shout back, making you all chuckle.

[earthry]

projecting my desire for a healthy and realistic introduction to intimacy on to copia. and also wanting someone that respects my boundaries and is willing to take things at my pace. projecting that too lmao. a little spicy but like. more about the experience than the act.

For how much of a sexual deviant Copia boasts he is, he surprisingly takes things slow with you. Sure, he may not be Terzo-level of whore but mans sure does fuck a lot.

With you however, he takes it at your pace and always checks in with you. “Is this okay, tersoro? Let me know if you need space, si?”

It takes a few months for you to warm up to the idea of intimacy, and the first time it happens there is definitely no penetration involved. Not for your first time. 

Instead, he lets you explore his body and your own— licking his lips as he watches you touch yourself. He touches you too, and you find yourself just a little ticklish and embarrassed at the same time, unable to help the nervous giggles as his hands travel down your body. 

Your laugh is contagious and he chuckles a little. Sex is supposed to be fun, you remind yourself. To be honest, you feel like you’re not really sensitive at all, and while you can definitely feel tingles of pleasure as he begins to stroke you, you’re not quite sure if this is what it’s meant to feel like.

It's a little quiet for a while and after about five minutes, you whisper to him: “Am I supposed to like… come now?”

He pauses and then you both kind of lose it, dissolving into laughter. In between wheezes, he tells you, “No, probably not so quickly. It takes some time, sometimes. Your body takes time to— ehhh, what’s the phrase? Warm up? Get sensitive.” 

“Oooh…. Okay, keep going then. Does your hand not hurt?”

“Ehhh, I’ve had practice, cuore mio.” He wiggles his fingers and you roll your eyes and smack his shoulder— he makes a little oof noise before brushing his lips against your neck and you let out a little whimper at the sensation.

“Sensitive now?” There’s a smugness in his voice.

“I’m leaving.” Your tone is light and you barely make any effort in pretending to try sitting up— but Copia loses the smirk almost immediately and sweetly grovels to you, playing along.

“T-Tesoro, no! Mi dispiace, let me make it up to you, si?” 

“Mmmmmmm— I don't know....“ You take your sweet time contemplating and he takes your hand and presses a kiss to the back of it. His tone is genuine now, soft and fond. He’s having just as much fun as you are right now, you can see it as his eyes wrinkle when he smiles. 

“Please, let me make it up to you,” He gently kisses your palm now, “I want to make you feel good.”

[differentnerddiplomatopera]

Stray Gods x Odypen/Odydio/Odydiopen

To Odysseus

You’ve got one big mouth on you, don’t you?

Yet it’s me who’s closing in

Think I like that mouth on you… Won’t you?

So as a Fic…I see this as many ways

These sentiments maybe when:

Odysseus courts Penelope, he smooth talks her, whatever and she says something along the line of this.

Odysseus sweet talking himself out of trouble. Pen witnesses his wit and talks to him after.

Diomedes is annoyed due to Odysseus. Odysseus says something smart. Diomedes responds with “You’ve got one big mouth on you, don’t you?” I like that with them.

Odysseus tries to encourage/annoy Diomedes. Dio isn’t in the mood for it, say’s something like, “I love that pretty voice of yours, you know that, but I need you to shut up right now?” Odysseus is flustered or whatever.

After the Odyssey, the three of them are in bed. And Odysseus is snoring like nobody’s business (ha), Diomedes is so confused how Ody’s snoring is still cute after all this time. Pen tells him to accept it. Ody starts sleep talking, Pen and Dio start responding as if Odysseus is actually talking. (Just being cute together like)

Odysseus: Pennn, you so pretttyyy

Diomedes: Yes, I can concur

Penelope: Don’t have to tell me that, I’m gorgeous.

Diomedes: Humble much?

Odysseus: Dio, you gottsome pretty (voice drops) DEAD (normal voice) eyes

Penelope:

Diomedes: …what the actual fuck?

(Muffled Laughter) Penelope: what-why did his-holy shi-(pen commences to wheeze her ass off)

Diomedes: Am I- am I supposed to be flattered? Or offended-cause could it be my eyes are both pretty and dead looking-

Penelope: (still laughing) nononono you-you gotta say it like he did, DEAD, haHAA-

Diomedes: Or my eyes look pretty-

Penelope: I’m not listening to you unless you say it properly.

Diomedes: Fine, DEAD, cus we could-

Penelope: (eyes tearing up, body shaking, back breaking laugh)

Diomedes: I’m gonna sleep in the guest room.

Penelope: No wait-

Odysseus: getcHO ASS BACK HERE NEOWWWWWW

Diomedes:

Penelope:

Diomedes: is- thefuck- is he still asleep?

Penelope: Yes, but does it really matter? Through sickness and in health and cute insults, get back here.

Diomedes: when you wake up, we are gonna have a talk.

Screaming *Odysseus: (turns his head 180 degrees like owl) I AM GOING TO EXPLAIN TO YOU ABOUT HILL AND HORSE, SHUT YOUR- inhale* EYESSSSSSSSSS

Diomedes:

Penelope:

Diomedes: Nah. Mm no. Troy was fine, this is crap.

Penelope: He said I’m pretty.

headcanon (after the Odyssey, Odysseus sleep talks/walks a lot, sometimes it’s sweet, funny, kinda creepy, other times it’s sad and heart breaking. But they got him. They hug and give Odysseus kisses when he wakes up)

Yeah. Fic writers, please write. Especially since they are planning to take Ao3 down. Why can’t they just leave the good stuff alone 😭🥲

[instarsandcrime]

Pride Is A Fickle Thing

Well...at least it's not just Lu/ci/fer this time?

@onetrickponi had some great prompts to offer and, since she said she might be writing them, I decided to change up a certain one a little so it turned out the same but also different! Can be read as Ra//dio//App//le or just platonic fluff! Enjoy! ❤️

Prompt: Lu/ci/fer heals A/la/stor, though it takes a great deal of expended effort on his part and it turns out both of them hate looking weak in front of other people.

---

"Hp'shhzzzt!" A sharp, staticky sneeze slipped through a crack in the shadows.

Alastor wheezed as he grabbed yet another handkerchief from his collection, attempting in vain to blow away the clinging itch that stuck to him for the entire meeting. But he couldn't help it. Every single twitch of the finger, every flick of the ear, every time he even bothered to move his holy wound its poison would snake through his ribs and up to his aching head. And when it did the reaction got worse. And when the reaction got worse he couldn't help but...c-couldn't...help but…but snehhh--

"Et'chhht! TSH'ZZZZHHEW! Nnghh..." The overlord muttered out a string of curses as another wave of pain shot through him, grasping a pillar before he could double over and collapse.

“Oof, ouch! That one sounded rough." An irritatingly cheery voice chirped from nowhere in particular.

"Oh do be qui-quieehhh...Heh! Heh’eshhh't! Het'chhhzzz't!" Pressing a well-used cloth up to reddened nostrils, Alastor hurriedly straightened himself, discreetly rubbing the swarm of feathers he felt as far back as it could go.

"Bless y-- er, no, wait. That's not appropriate for someone like you, is it?" And with a golden puff of smoke he finally appeared. The six winged thorn in his side. “Fuck off? Damn you? Curse you, maybe? Mmmn no, I think you’ve already got that handled.”

"Lucifer." Alastor's ear flicked in annoyance, "What can I do for you m-my unh-huhh-holy fellow? Off t-to find some...s-some...snff! Suhh-someone to pestehhhHET'ZSCHHHH! Ghhh..."

The fallen angel winced as shrill feedback pierced the air. "Lookin' a bit sneezy there, bud. I guess even the most powerful overlords catch colds. Just goes to show that somewhere deep, deep, deeeeep down, you still have a mortal soul."

The Radio Demon chuckled, smile splitting despite the feverish beads of sweat that rolled down his neck. "On the contrary! Why, I'm the guardian angel of the Hazbin Hotel! I'm sure Charlie would agree."

Lucifer twisted the cane in his palms. “Ohoh! That definitely sounds like my little girl!”

"Agreed! She is truly a marvel. Exiling all doubts with a cheerful smile!"

"And when the hotel gets big enough, who knows? Maybe she won’t even need you anymore! She can take your place all on her own-- without the tacky bellhop suit, of course."

"Hah! Radio never truly goes out of style. Unlike...u-unlike the...the..."

"Speechless already?"

"A trifuhhh…huh! T-trifling matter, My Liege. I'm simply allergihhh...allergic to...to your bullshhHHT’SHHHhhoo...Huh'zschhh!"

"Impressive comeback. You should really--"

"'Hup’KZSSHHHT! HT'SHHH'OOooo...guhh…snff!" Worry bloomed on Lucifer’s face when his rival flashed a sliver of a wince. And as quick as it grew, Alastor rushed to crush the blossom with the wave of a hand. “Such compassion! I was wonderihh…wondering when the sin of pride would lower himself to such a weak emotion–”

“Let me see it.” 

“Pardon?”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” His patient opened his mouth, “Nope, wait, don’t answer that. Just let me see the wound.”

“Hah! How absurd! Me? Get hurt?” The Radio Demon’s voice crackled with laughter, an unseen audience following suit. “Has our poor king gone senile in his old age?”

“I–! You–!” Lucifer took a deep breath, wisps of smoke billowing from his nose. 

Inhale. Exhale. 

“Okay.”

Despite his eternal grin, Alastor’s feverish eyes blinked back confusion. ���...O. Okay?”

“Okay.” The king deadpanned, hopping back a few steps. “You like making deals, right?”

“I do have other hobbies, you know.”

“Nice. I don’t care. Walk to me without sneezing once. I know you can hide the pain, but if you think holy poison will just go away, then you must either be the most stubborn man in the nine rings, or the biggest dumbass.” He paused. “Or both. If you lose, I heal you and you never have to think about Adam and his gaudy lute axe again. If you win, let’s just say that in a few more days, no one in Hell will hear another broadcast from The Radio Demon again.”

A suffocating silence fell over the two, with only the small ambience of old timey cigarette advertisements and Ella Fitzgerald to keep them company. Until finally obsidian claws drummed against the tip of a microphone.

 “...Fine.” Alastor said simply.

“Fine.” Lucifer spat back.

“A simple task, really.”

“Then stop stalling and do it, coward.” Satan flashed his pearly fangs.

A scarlet eye twitched. His opponent took a tentative step forward and the itch followed suit, fighting the urge to rub a knuckle against it.

“Having trouble there?”

“I can assure you I'm per…p-perfectly fihh-fide.” Another step. The growing tickle burned from the bridge to the tip.

“Fihhh-fidt as a fidd-fiddle.”

Almost halfway. Hold it in, hold it in.

“I'b dot as weak as y-yuhhh…you thidk…”

Through irritated tears, slit pupils studied him closely. “Uh-huh. Still don’t believe you.”

Temper beginning to flare as badly as his wound, the overlord opened his mouth to retort. But his voice was completely stolen as the itch teased the rim of his nostrils. It built and built until–

Oh, fuck it.

“Heh'SHHHHZT! Ihh-hih-Hp'SCHHH! ‘TSCHHHH'hhooo…nhhh…” The ground beneath him whirled and tilted like a merry-go-round and he was falling, falling, falling– only to be caught and dragged off the ride with unnervingly gentle hands.

“I've got you.” Lucifer muttered.

“What’s goi’g od? Why are you doi’g this?” The Radio Demon demanded as he was lifted, a body barely up to his chest not acknowledging his weight.

“Because lucky for you, I used to be a saint.” Wait…when did they get to his bathroom? When was he suddenly draped against the wall?

“You hate me." For some reason Alastor couldn’t control his shaking voice, losing the strength to fight. He sounded so disgustingly fragile. He hated it. He hated this. He hated. He. Hated.

“Oh for Heaven’s sake, shut up and let me save you already!” Lucifer swore, clicking the locks in place with the snap of his fingers. Alastor flinched when freezing hands pressed against a soaked through dress shirt and– oh.

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, no shit!” A pure light became a ripple. Then a swirl. Then a bubble. It filled every space imaginable, bathing the pair in its warm blanket. Faintly, Alastor tasted a hint of jambalaya on his tongue. And like a needle and thread to a spilled over poppet, The wound began to close.

Unfortunately, despite the subsiding agony, the holy light that caught his patient's eye did not agree with him. Wait. If angelic power hurt a demon, why was he being healed with–

“H-hhh!” Alastor’s breath hitched.

“Seriously? Now? I’m trying to work here.” Lucifer growled, almost fumbling the surgery when his concentration nearly broke. Through the haze, the overlord could glimpse familiar beads of sweat that trickled down the side of the fallen angel’s neck. 

“H-hhh…c-cad’t…h-hhhhelp it…” Between hiccuping breaths and stuttering speech, somewhere along the way a finger was pressed underneath his fluttering nostrils.

“I swear to my fucking Father.” Lucifer huffed out, blinking blearily as he continued his surgery one-handed. And before the wound closed, Alastor couldn’t help but dread at the way Lucifer’s eyelids drooped further and further, teetering between exhaustion and pain.

With two hands the healing process would have taken two minutes.

With one it took two hours. Or at least, the amount of hands was Lucifer’s excuse.

Alastor would have been more impressed if not for the fact that he was not impressed, because it was a ridiculous emotion to have for Lucifer of all beings. So instead, the next day, he chose to focus on what couldn’t heal right away.

“Het’schhzz!” Alastor pitched into his handkerchief, and Charlie quickly caught his breakfast plate before she could drop it.

“Bless you!” She breathed, clutching her chest with one hand.

Well. At least it wasn’t every five seconds.

“Thank you, my dear. Ironic as it may be.” Alastor chuckled, moving to pick up his utensils. He scanned the dining table to take in the morning rush. Angel Dust was gabbing away next to Husker, silently snatching food off his plate with his lower pair of arms. Vaggie was taking a sharpening stone to her spear between bites of food, softening when her princess veered the corner to give a quick peck on the lips. Sir Pentious was waving his spindly hands about, excitedly explaining the inner workings of his ‘flying machine’ to Niffty, who was absolutely more interested in the bug crawling on his top hat.

Overall a peaceful morning. Too peaceful. It unsettled him that there was one piece missing–

Ah. Out of the corner of his eye a small, white rat slowly crawled across the carpet. One with chubby, cherub cheeks. Fur mussed. Bags under its button eyes. A golden flush dotting his face, glowing like a firefly. And then suddenly everything clicked.

The lack of a wound or poison, but still feeling a fading tickle. The shared symptoms between them. Lucifer hadn’t just been exhausted that night. He hadn’t just healed him. Oh no, the bastard just had to take the holy poison for himself knowing that a half-holy body would survive. Though it was obvious he was equally– oh, what was that saying Rosie was kind enough to teach him– ‘going through it’. The fact that he would even risk inhaling a drop for someone he hated so much…

Hm.

Well, Alastor decided to himself, It would be remiss of him to not repay the favor. So with all the mercy of a heartless overlord, he kicked the stupid rat as far as it could go. With a startled squeak and a puff of smoke, the King of Hell tumbled across the floor. The dining room went silent for a moment, all eyes on the sudden appearance of Lucifer Morningstar lying on his back– disheveled, dazed, and stone still.

“Oh my gosh, dad!” Charlie yelped as her father pushed himself upright– moving stiffly, Alastor noted. “I didn’t see you come in…to…” As she helped him stand, her voice trailed off. “Are you okay?”

“I second that, fer the record.” Angel Dust waved a fork nonchalantly in the air, “Kingy’s always an early riser. What gives?”

“Worrywarts, aren’t they?” Lucifer jolted as Alastor popped up beside him with a screeching static, suddenly inches apart. His smirk widened as he tilted his head with a little, high pitched ‘hm!’ “I must say, I can’t help but feel the same. Your regal features look a bit. Oh, what’s the word?” He motions to his own face with a dramatic flourish. “Off-color.”

Lucifer’s glare broke when he put a hand up to his cheek. Then another, eyes growing wide as teacup saucers. It didn’t help when embarrassment overtook his feverish blush, brightening with the panic. “H-hah!” He chuckled nervously, summoning his top hat to tug the brim over his face. “W-wouldja look at that? Guess I fell asleep at the ol’ workshop again and I ran my power a little too– …t-too hot…” He sniffed sharply, rubbing at his nose.

“How uncouth.” Alastor circled the man like a ravenous beast. “Quite unlike yourself to be in such a state. Maybe you should be a little more honest. I can even give you a push.”

“Wh-whhhat are you–”

With a single poke of his cane Lucifer stumbled, grimacing in pain. And it only took one poke for that short-lived charade to fall apart.

“H-hehhh! No, ndo dabbit keeb idt togehh…together…”

“Your Majesty? Are you…?” Vaggie sat straighter, brow furrowed.

“Oof! That don’t look right.” Angel winced.

“Mhm.” Husk hummed into his mug of whisky.

“Oh my. The ultimate bad boy needs to be cleaned!” Niffty gasped.

“Poor thing.” Sir Pentious’s bottom lip wobbled.

“Dad?” Charlie set a hand on his shoulder. Then jumped back with a squeak as the single touch sparked the powder keg.

“Hit’schh!” Lucifer bent at the waist, merciless fit wracking an already exhausted body. “It’schh! It’shieww! Hit’SCHIEW! Hnt’SHIEW! HET’SCHH! ‘TSHH! TCHH! Hit’SCHH’HIEW! H-hihhh…hih! Hih– HITSCHHHH’HIEW!”

The room went silent. Angel Dust whistled lowly.

“My goodness, bless you!” Alastor gaped, every movement an exaggerated performance.

“Y-you did thahhh– thadt od purpose you sohd of ahhh– hah-HATSCHHHHIEW!” The fallen king pitched forward again. When he finally surfaced he was staggering, holding his aching head. “S’rry…’bout thadt.”

Before Charlie could run to catch him Alastor tutted, summoning his shadow to steady his rival, bending its lanky limb over his forehead. “My my, you sound awful! Simply dreadful! Overworked, perhaps? Or…oh, it couldn’t be! Is the King of Hell ill?”

“Oh shudt up Alasdtor– snff! I’b dot sigk! Idt’s jus’dt–”

“Allergies?” Husk deadpanned, expression completely unimpressed.

“Allergies!” Lucifer blurted, “Nodthin’ do worry your head over. So ihhh–...hih! hit’TSCHIU! HET’CHHHIEWW! Nghh, jus’dt ledt be–”

Charlie’s grip tightened, other hand reaching for a napkin. “Don’t run! Please?”

The King of Hell froze. He couldn’t help it. He was completely powerless when it came to his little girl. His flush started to hem the edges of silverware and dusted the windows, and he decided to look anywhere but at Charlie, distracting himself with a mucky nose blow into the makeshift tissue.

“I…I guess I’ll stick around a while longer. I feel a bit dizzy, anyway.” He chuckled, trying to pretend like every word didn’t painfully scrape at his chest. But Charlie smiled brightly, and she guided him to a chair Vaggie had already pulled out for him. Stepping back to wave her hands. Go on!

Lucifer blinked back shock when the room watched, silent with bated breath. “Oh– snff! Oh, well. Um. It’s not an emergency but. But I may be thirsty–”

Zipping back and forth, Niffty slid a cup of water by his side.

“Oh! Th-thank you.” Lucifer smiled bashfully. 

The silenced thickened, group looking on expectantly. 

“...More?!”

“More.” Charlie nodded, crossing her arms. Awestruck, the hermit crumbled as his closest residents and friends fussed and fretted. All the while Alastor sat comfortably in his chair and sipped his tea, humming to the tune of a new morning.

The perfectly chaotic puzzle was complete. Just the way he liked it.

[lady-maracas]

My saviour

Pairing: Angel Dust x M!Reader

Word count: 1,3k

Warnings: Swearing, Angel being his normal flirty self (we love him for it).

Masterlist

I’ll be using fluff prompts:

#8, “I haven’t laughed like this in a long time.”

#9, “Hold still, this might hurt a little.”

#10, “I just wanted to thank you, for saving me.”

Life itself in Pentagram City was usually out of the ordinary. In other words, sinners did a lot of weird shit, which could make oneself feel uneasy. Today was just like the days before: shitty. You worked from 9 to 5, felt exhausted, went grocery shopping for the weekend and as the cherry on top, being harassed on the street by a random sinner. Lovely!

As you were on your way back to your place, an annoying ringing snapped you out of your thoughts: your cellphone. Slowly, you pulled it out of your back pocket to see who the hell dared to call you now.

Angel<3

Your frown immediately disappeared when you realized it was Angel Dust, one of your best friends, your party buddy. You answered the call:

“Hey!” You joyfully said.

“Ow, ow. Too much joy! What is up with you?” The voice on the other line answered. “I thought you were supposed to work all day?” He added.

“I did! I feel like shit right now!” You kept your joyous tone, “But now that I hear your beautiful voice, my day is actually better!”

“I don’t know what is up with you Toots, but I really want to get drunk tonight. ‘You in?” Angel said.

“You just read my mind! I’ll meet you there at 10!”

“Alright, you better lose some of that cheerfulness before then, you’re starting to sound like Charlie, shit.” He nonchalantly said. You knew that act was making him uncomfortable, you lived to tease him.

“Fuck you! Goodbye!” You hung the line and practically skipped all the way to your place.

Tonight was going to be fun! Right?

///

When you arrived at the club, you immediately realized the place was packed tonight. You almost changed your mind and went back home when you spotted Angel in the crowd, slightly taller and most sinners.

You made your way to him, “Hey, party buddy! Are you ready to have the night of your life?” You extended your arms for a hug, which he returned.

“Absolutely, and I personally think it’d be even better if it ended with you and me in my bed.” He winked playfully, which made you blush, “I’m just kidding, but by the look on your face you wouldn’t be opposed to that!” He laughed while making his way to the bar.

You stood there, a bit shocked, trying to hide the blush that rose on your cheeks due to his comment, and decided to follow him.

“What can we serve you tonight, fellows?” The bartender asked.

Angel and you both looked at each other and said in unison:

“Something strong.”

///

Almost an hour later, or maybe more than that, who knows, you stopped tracking the time after your fourth drink, you still stood at the bar with Angel. You were telling him a story that happened earlier at work.

“-And then the lady left and I said ‘don’t let the door hit you on the way out’ and guess what happened! It actually did! She opened it the wrong way and crashed into it!” You wheezed at your own story, almost spilling your drink.

Angel’s reaction matched yours, he leaned across the bar while he held his stomach with one hand, trying to keep breathing but failing miserably.

“Damn,” He wiped the tears from his eyes due to laughter. “I gotta tell you Toots, I haven’t laughed like this in a long time!”

You knew Angel was going through tough times, mostly because of his deal with Valentino. Knowing you made his day better and seeing him genuinely laugh made your heart flutter.

“Fuck yeah! I laughed so hard then, the lady became red with anger! She must’ve been ashamed!” You added.

Then, your stomach started revolting itself and made you stop dead in your tracks. “I need some fresh air.”

You pushed your way through the crowd, trying your best to not hurt anyone on your way out. As soon as the outside air hit you, your stomach basically thanked you and settled down.

You walked a bit, making sure you were feeling better, before you saw an ugly sinner make his way up to you. ‘Ugh, no!’.

“What’s a lovely thing like you doing outside all alone?” He stood close to you, making you insanely uncomfortable.

“Okay firstly, I’m a dude, second, I’m not alone.” There it is, your stomach felt sick again, and you knew it wasn’t from the alcohol.

“It’s alright sugar, I’m into those things.” He tried to hold you but you pushed him away.

“Leave me alone, I don’t have the time for this.” You leaned over, getting ready if your stomach decided to finally get rid of the poison you’ve been drinking.

“Listen you little cunt.” He grabbed the collar of your shirt. You could feel his disgusting breath on your face. “You gonna get on your knees and do what I ask of you, understand?”

“Fuck no!” You resisted, there was no way this was happening to you.

That’s when you felt it. The sharp pain on your side, just below your ribs. You suddenly felt hot, burning hot.

‘The fucker stabbed me?’

Then, the sinner was lifted off the ground by something, someone taller than him.

Angel.

“That was a very bad choice, shortie. I suggest you leave this gentleman alone and fuck off!” Angel practically screamed at the sinner, trying his best to not murder him.

All the while this happened, your vision started to get blurry, and your ears ringed. And then,

Nothing.

//

You woke up from your slumber, totally disoriented. As you looked around the room you were in, you could see the old tapestry that covered the walls. Old wooden furniture, a light that dimly lit the run down room.

As you put all the pieces together, the door opened slowly, making a creaking sound that made shivers run up your spine. ‘Did I fucking get kidnapped?’

“Heya sleeping beauty, did you sleep well?” ‘Oh thank heavens’, it’s Angel. That means we’re in-

“No, nuh uh,” you tried to get up from the bed you took your little rest in. “No way you took me to your tacky Hotel Angel, I’m getting out.”

He put a hand on your chest, keeping you from getting any further. “Sit the fuck back down,” He pushed me back on the bed. “First, this isn’t my Hotel, and second, this is where I live now, whether you like it or not.”

You whined a bit, part of it because he was right, and the other part was because your side hurt like, a lot.

“We better get you stitched up, before it gets infected.” He settled down a first aid kit on the side table and pulled out of it a needle and some thread. “You’re gonna have to pull your shirt up, Toots.” He looked at you up and down.

You shook your head no. There was no way he was stitching your skin back together, ew!

“Don’t be a baby, I have done things multiple times, I know what I’m doing! ‘Cmon.”

You slowly lifted your shirt, making sure you didn’t touch your wound in the process. You tried to not look at it, but curiosity took the best of you. That was fucking disgusting.

“Hold still, this might hurt a little.” With that, Angel began his work, closing your wound stitch by stitch. You bit your lip, hiding the fact that it hurt like a bitch. When the work was done, you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“There you go! As good as new!” He closed the first aid kit and gave you a smile. “You can stay here for the night, while you get some rest.”

“Thank you, Angel.” You sighed, the entirety of the night finally pushing down on you. “I just want to thank you, for saving me.” You smiled up at him.

“Don’t mention it! And hey, I told you the night would end up with you in my bed!” He playfully smirked and left the room.

‘Oh this is the start of something good.’

\\\

Heya readers! This is my first HH one shot and the first one I’ve written in a while. I know I’m a bit rusty but bear with me! Thank you for reading and if you have any requests, feel free to ask me!

Seeya!

[emmyrosee]

“Mrs Kodzuken said if I win this I can see her boobs, so I need you to throw this.”

There’s a few chortles and some actual laughter the rings through the discord call, all voices that haven’t changed a bit since high school. Even with ridiculously busy schedules and time zone differences, they always reserved Thursday’s to either play a game or watch movies over discord.

Tonight, was no different. Fukunaga, Lev, and Kuroo stood absolutely no chance in beating Kenma this game, but the lighthearted joke seemed to reignite the group.

“Why do we have to lose so you can see boobs?” Fukunaga asks incredulously.

“Yeah!” Lev chimes. “Aren’t you married or something?”

“It’s because Kenma still giggles when he sees titties,” kuroo teases, and Kenma offers him an eye roll that he’s sure his friend can’t see, but knows him well enough to know he did.

“We are, and I do, but it hits different when you get incentive to win. So, with all due respect, choke.”

It’s the last few turns, ready to end the game for the night. Lev’s already lost his stars to Fukunaga, now he’s just playing for fun, pretending his saltiness is real to keep the mood silly, Kuroo being as cocky as ever.

But it’s obvious, to everyone in the call, that Kenma is going to win this round. By a long shot.

Kenma smirks softly to himself when he hears the door creak open and your socked feet shuffle over the hardwood and small rug in the center of his gaming room.

“You have the stealth of a turd in the toilet,” he says, ignoring his friends laughing as he hears you giggle. He swivels the chair to let you plop on his thigh, watching fondly as you get comfortable.

“I just didn’t know if you wanted me in here,” you hum, looping your arms around his neck.

“You know you don’t have to ask to be in here,” he scoffs, smiling. “You wanna come play?”

You shake your head and nudge your nose against his temple, “no… just wanted to be next to you.” You take an inhale against the warm skin of his neck, “missed you.”

“Don’t sniff me like that,” he snorts. “I haven’t showered.”

“Hey, snugglebug!” Kuroo’s voice teases through the headset, causing kenma to roll his eyes again and pause the game to give you his full attention.

“What’s up, baby?”

You smile and squeeze him tighter, “I just wanted to see you… I know Thursday’s are for the boys, but-“

“Fuck the boys,” he mumbles. Again, there’s a chorus of ‘hey!’s that come from his headset and you laugh to yourself. He clicks his tongue and mutes himself and the chat, shifting slightly in his chair to cradle what he can of you. “You just feeling needy?”

You nod softly, cheeks splitting into a smile when he noses your temple affectionately. “I’ll be down soon I’d you wanted to watch some YouTube or something.” You nod against him and he resumes the game to let you watch. “Alright boys, most important member of the band’s back.”

“I didn’t miss you,” Kuroo says confidently.

You do smile wider as you shift easily to watch the battle mini game that’s breaking out between Fukunaga and Kuroo, their screams of distress ringing over the call as you watch.

Fukunaga wins. Kuroo shrieks.

“Alright,” you sigh. “I’ll leave you alone.” You slip from Kenma’s lap swiftly, and he watches fondly. “I just wanted to see Kuroo lose.”

“You wound me,” his voice snarls over the call.

You snicker before stretching softly, and Kenma thinks nothing of it at first.

Then, his brow twitches. In his peripheral, he sees you hide your laughter. He sniffs the air, and feels fond embarrassment settle in his soul.

“Are you kidding?”

Your giggles can be heard on the discord call.

Lev, clearly confused, offers Kenma a quick “what happened?”

“Why do you do that every time I’m playing my games?”

“Why do what?” Kuroo chimes.

“You gotta come across the damn house to fart in my damn office?”

This, now, has the entire call cackling, gawfs and wheezes breaking through and cutting over the mics, and while you cackle and dash out of the door to leave him alone with your… smell, he shakes his head as the results load.

He’ll get you back later.

And as anticipated, Kenma won, and Fukunaga seems to be the only one handling the loss.

Kuroo and Lev? Not so much.

“BY THREE COINS!” Kuroo shrieks, mic cutting out at his distress. “I LOST BY THREE FUCKIN’ COINS?!”

“I LOST ALL MY STARS ON MY LAST TURN, KUROO,” Lev screams back. “GET OVER YOUR GODDAMNED THREE COINS!”

“THAT HURTS MORE, YOU FUCKHEAD!”

“Dunno what their problem is,” he sighs contently, smirking softly to himself. “I’m seeing boobs tonight.”

“You know what man, I’m proud of you.” There’s only a hint of sarcasm falling from Fukunaga’s tone, but Kenma decides to take it as the bickering of the other two fills the call once again.

Kenma decides, among the yelling and teasing and your fart-filled-affection, it’s a Thursday he’s always down to enjoy.

“Have fun with your boobs.”

“Oh, I will.”

[w3irdo666]

Manie De Posséder

Lucifer x Fem! Reader

You opened your eyes slightly, but even this was difficult for you. Your exhausted body lay on the cold floor. There were chains on your neck and legs that rubbed your delicate skin. It took you 5 minutes to get up and sit down normally, you didn’t have that much strength. You looked down, into nowhere. Your eyes were swollen and dry from the number of tears you cried. Suddenly you heard a familiar voice, whose laughter echoed throughout the room.Lucifer. A few seconds after the voice, the man himself appeared in front of you, looking down at you and grinning.

“Well, hello dear! You've lost quite a bit of weight, haven't you?"

His proud voice hurt your ears. You slowly looked at him. A slight wheeze escaped your throat, followed by your quiet voice.

"Why...are you doing this...? what do you want..?"

“Oh, darling, I already told you. I want nothing more from you than... your body. I’m only interested in your body..Ah, I remember when I first saw you... Ah, you were amazing."

You felt a burning sensation in your eyes. You wanted to cry more and more, but you just couldn’t anymore.Suddenly his smile grew even wider. “I made a metal collar for you so that you won’t run away!” After this words on your neck appeared iron collar that slightly choked you.

............................................................................................................

You didn’t know how it happened. You were an ordinary girl at 25 years old. Work, study, nothing special. Life flowed like a calm river, without bringing any major surprises. You lived in a rented one-room apartment. you moved out from your parents as soon as you turned 18. Peace and tranquility, everything you love. No, you loved campaigns and parties, but you liked to relax in silence more.

It happened unexpectedly. You were saying goodbye to your friend after an evening walk.

"Bye Alexi!"

“Bye Y/N! Are you sure you don’t need to be escorted out?” The girl said as she opened the door of the taxi. You shook your head slightly.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine"

If only you knew that wasn't true...

"Well...Okay then, good night!"

"Night!"

Your friend got into the taxi and left. Waving goodbye, you began your way home. It was dark, not a single living creature on the street. Since it was already late, you didn’t think it was strange. And it should have been... Walking past a dark alley between the houses, you heard strange sounds. It was difficult to understand which ones exactly. At first you were not sure whether it was worth looking there. But nevertheless, interest took its toll and you looked into the alley. It would be better if you didn't do this...

What you saw there will forever remain in your head. You will never be able to forget it. Your eyes widened in shock and disgust. You saw the corpse of a man. A mutilated corpse. Whose flesh was being eaten by some creature. A demon. It must be a fucking demon.His eyes glowed bloody red in the darkness. His long fingers... or claws... you didn’t understand, but they so easily tore piece by piece from a person. Everything around was covered in blood. And the demon himself was in it. Because of the darkness it was difficult to see his appearance. The only thing you clearly saw were his horns, eyes and fingers.The scream was stuck in your throat. It was as if you were paralyzed. Every cell in your body was screaming for you to run away, but it was impossible to move.

"Like what you see?" Said demon in low voice, growling.You were so surprised that you saw the creature in front of you that you didn’t even notice how the demon turned in your direction. He licked his lips, covered in blood.

At that moment, you were finally able to control your body. Your brain started working again. You screamed and ran as fast as possible to your house. You blessed God for the fact that you decided to wear shoes that weren’t with thin heels today. You ran as fast as ever. Adrenaline played in your veins. Having reached the house, you quickly ran inside, slamming the door behind you and closing it with all the locks. You sat down, leaning your back against the door. You never really believed in God and didn’t know a single prayer, but this situation has forced you to change your overall outlook.

Waking up the next day, you thought that it was your drunken imagination that drew this creature. Still, you drank well yesterday, but the bloody footprints on your porch proved the opposite. They were not like human ones... and definitely not like yours... You began to see the silhouette of this demon everywhere. One morning you were doing your makeup before university and saw him in the reflection behind you. Now you were able to see him better. Not very tall, white skin, sharp teeth visible in a big grin. Short blond hair and a white suit. He stood behind you, grinning. “See you later” Someone’s voice said in your head before you lost consciousness. You didn’t know how long you lay unconscious when you opened your eyes, but looking at the clock you realized that 3 hours had passed. Fuck.

One day, his sudden appearances drove you crazy. You hadn’t slept for a week. The lights were on in the whole house all day. There wasn’t a single dark place. You felt like you were going crazy. You didn’t leave the house. You forgot what a calm life looks like. Two weeks later, you began to be afraid of every rustle. You did not allow yourself to fall asleep for a second, after one day you accidentally dozed off and he came to you in a dream.After wich you woke up in fear, sweating.

Your madness got to the point that you once even brought a priest to illuminate your house. The demon's reaction to this was... not good. He began to scare you even more often, the presence of the priest only angered him. One day you were surfing the Internet looking for a way to get rid of the demon. You found some kind of ritual, hope finally appeared in your eyes. You searched the whole house to prepare everything for the ritual. A knife, candles, an old notebook.

One evening you started the ritual. You placed the candles in a certain order, building a pattern, lit them, just as they said in the instructions for the ritual of expulsion. You drew a circle with salt on the floor and sat inside it. You were afraid. You were afraid of what might not go well. so. You were afraid that nothing would work out... Taking the knife in your hands, you made an incision on your finger. It hurt.

You wrote Latin words on the floor with your blood.You began to cast the spell. You felt the atmosphere in the room change.You heard someone's low groan. His groan.You closed your eyes in fear and folded your hands in prayer.You suddenly felt a burning pain inside, but you did not dare to open your eyes. And time, like thin ice, seemed to freeze before your eyes. "Did you think that your stupid exorcism would save you?"

...

It was his voice.Ritual didn't work.

......................................................................................................

“I liked the way you tried to banish me back to hell.. And with blood you drew a protective sign on the floor.”

Lucifer leaned down, looking at you. Frightened, chained, pathetic.He crouched to you and took your chin with a tight grip.

"And every mortal, seeing fear, is ready to understand you..."

You closed your eyes and tried to turn your face away, but Lucifer’s grip was too strong.He moved his face to your ear.

“But you’re the only one who couldn’t understand what you did wrong.” He whispered into your ear with cold, almost sharp as a knife, voice.

Notes: Well...i hope y'all liked this one! (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

[aisclosed]

Match Found ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ - 13. just Jungwon

Synopsis: Jungwon is sick of his friends' constant teasing over his lack of gaming skills. Determined to secretly improve and prove enha wrong, Jungwon sets out to learn to play, except he has no clue where to begin. Luckily for him, y/n is a girl with too much time on her hands, a desperate need for distraction and is more than happy to indulge him. Only, things are never that simple and Jungwon soon finds it difficult to explain exactly what the pair have become. college Student! Jungwon x gamer! Reader

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(3.1k) written work + SMAU :: warnings: cursing

Jungwon stares blankly at his phone screen. Hundreds of scenarios running through his mind, each one crazier than the last. Why did you suddenly want to call him? Before he can delude himself further his screen lights up with your incoming call. He only gives himself a split second to smile subconsciously at your contact picture before accepting and placing the phone against his ear.  

“Hello? Y/N?”

“Yang Jungwon, I fucking hate you, you know that?” 

Jungwon sits up slightly at the sheer frustration that drips from your tone, his brows furrowed in confusion. 

“Me? What did I do? Are you okay?” 

“No. I am not okay you idiot. I miss you and your stupid face and your annoying voice. And you sending me selfies looking cute is not helping. I am trying my very best to be a responsible friend and not take up your time, why are you tempting me you dimpled freak.” 

Jungwon can’t help but burst into laughter, it was entirely absurd, the way you sounded absolutely vexed at the prospect of not being able to see him. Any hint of fatigue from studying had been replaced entirely by an ear splitting grin, his cheeks aching and warm from your admissions. His heart swelled knowing that your time apart had affected you just as much as it had been affecting him. 

“This is not funny! Stop laughing at me you dickhead. I’m gonna hang up just go back to your work,” you whine into the phone and Jungwon can almost picture your scowling face, complete with jutted lips and knit brows. 

“No, don’t hang up. I miss you too Y/N, I wanna hear your voice,” Jungwon pleads between wheezes. 

“No. You heard my voice already and you laughed at it. You lose all Y/N privileges. Get back to studying, you gotta focus,” you gripe crossly. 

“Come on, just a couple more minutes and then I’ll let you go, hm?” Jungwon asks, smiling fondly to himself when you respond with an exaggerated sigh. 

“Alright fine, I guess I can spare you a couple more minutes since you miss me so much. How are you doing, Wonnie? You tired?”

“I'm doing alright, lowkey exhausted. I would be better if I saw you more,” Jungwon admits softly, “All I see are the guys and my textbooks. So I'm kinda going crazy, hence my messages about me dying.” Jungwon huffs, leaning back in his chair to rub at his temples, the dull ache slowly returning again at the thought of his upcoming kinesiology exam. 

“Hmm.. yeah that sounds rough. Have you eaten? Maybe you need some food in your system?”

“Yeah I ate a banana earlier. Everyone in the house has been too busy to cook or go grocery shopping so we’re living off of ramen for the week. It's not too bad though, we switch up the brand so we don't get sick of it.”

Jungwon pauses at the lack of response on your end, hearing only the rustle of you moving around the room. “Y/N? You good?” 

“Yeah, I’m here Jungwon, my bad. Just grabbing a jacket and my shoes. I'm gonna head out for a bit.”

“Oh. Okay, well if you’re busy, we can hang up.” Jungwon offers half heartedly, fiddling with the edge of his papers. 

“Uh. Yeah I'm really sorry Won, I promise I was listening. It's just gonna be a bit loud where I'm going so I don't want to disturb you. I'll make it up to you okay? I missed you a lot and it was nice talking to you, really.” 

“Yeah, you're fine Y/Nnie thanks for calling, I needed it. Be safe when you're out okay? Text me if anything happens.” 

“Mhmmm I will, good luck with studying! You got this! I'll see you soon. Byeee!!” 

Jungwon draws his phone away from his ear slowly, blinking at how abruptly you had left the call. Exhaling slowly, he turns back to his desk, engrossing himself back into his studies.

It isn't until he hears the tell-tale slam of the front door that Jungwon jolts out of his trance. He slid his gaze over to his phone to see that over an hour had passed since you hung up, his screen empty of notifications. Extending his arms above his head, Jungwon stretches slowly, his muscles groaning and popping in protest. 

He’s mid stretch when he hears faint conversation in the kitchen downstairs. Jungwon cocks his head in confusion, zeroing in on the noises outside, he could almost swear that he heard a girl’s voice. Shrugging off his curiosity, Jungwon turns back to his notes, looking over the hastily scribbled diagrams and notation. 

“Jungwonie~” Sunghoon raps on his door, cracking it open to stick his head inside. His eyes bounce around the room until they land on Jungwon, crinkling in a playful smile. “I have a surprise for you~. A very very special visitor-”

Jungwon doesn't even have time to question Sunghoon before he’s pushed aside, causing the door to swing open with him. 

“Oh my god Sunghoon, move. It's just me. Why are you acting like you're fucking Oprah,” you grumble, making your way into Jungwon’s room. 

 Jungwon lights up at the sight of you, arms flying open automatically in invitation, “Y/N! What are you doing here?”. 

“Hey bestie~, a little birdie told me someone missed me,” you chuckle, accepting his hug. Jungwon uses the opportunity to pull you onto his lap, nuzzling his face into your neck happily. 

“You guys are gross. I’m the one who actually stopped her from leaving without seeing you and you can't even give me the time of day,” Sunghoon sulks, leaving with a theatrical glare, slamming the door behind him.

Jungwon tilts his head at Sunghoon’s words, looking up at you inquisitively for an explanation. 

You roll your eyes, running your fingers through his hair gently, lightly scratching at his scalp. Jungwon preens like a feline at your touch, his eyes fluttering shut at the sensation. “I was just stopping by to drop off some proper food for you and the boys because you said all of you hadn’t eaten well. I ran into Sunghoon on your doorstep on his way out somewhere and he let me in. I wanted to just leave the food and go so I wouldn't distract you but Hoon said you’d want me to say Hi at least.”

“I can’t believe you were gonna just leave without even seeing me,” Jungwon frowns up at you accusingly, his grip on you tightening slightly. 

Your jaw ticks slightly as you struggle to justify your actions. As much as you had wanted to see Jungwon, you thought it would only make things harder. You were right. It felt wrong to act like everything was okay when it felt like your whole world was teetering on your shoulders. 

Your hands stutter slightly in their ministrations against his scalp, sliding down to rest at the nape of his neck. With his arms securely wrapped around you and the warmth of his gaze, it was so easy to be lulled into this sense of false security. 

You wanted nothing more than to spill out all of your frustrations and worries. To just cry and let Jungwon wipe your tears, and tell you everything would be okay.

No. Your whole life you’ve disillusioned yourself enough with false promises and hopes, you couldn’t guarantee anything right now. Until you spoke with your father, you had no clue of the seriousness of the whole dating situation. There was a chance that it merely a suggestion, with nothing binding you to going through with it.

You wouldn't burden Jungwon with your superficial issues, not when his eyes already drooped with fatigue, ringed with dark circles as evidence of his late nights. So you swallow back the confessions that threaten to escape from your lips, giving Jungwon an easy smirk and flicking his forehead gently. 

“Well you got to see me, so no point in sulking. I just didn’t want to take up your time, you look enough like a zombie already.” you tease softly, tracing small stars on his neck. 

“Ugh, trust me I feel worse than a zombie,” Jungwon scoffs, burying his face back into the crook of your neck, “If I have to look at another joint ligament or femur I think I’ll actually drop out and become a tik tok dancer or some shit.” 

“Aww poor baby.” You coo at Jungwon teasingly, snickering when he pinches your side in retaliation, mumbling insults against your skin. “Seriously though Jungwon, make sure to get proper rest and eat well okay? I brought some curry for you and some random dishes for the other boys. Don’t stress yourself out, you know the material, you’re gonna do amazing I know you are.”

Jungwon’s response is muffled but you can still pick apart his whispers of thanks and assent to your requests. You look down at his tucked figure fondly, resting your head against his own. 

The comfortable silence settles between the two of you, and you let yourself melt against Jungwon, exhaling deeply. Your relief is short lived as your mind soon begins to travel again towards your future with the company and Jaemin. Suddenly Jungwon’s hold feels suffocating, a slight sense of panic settling in your bones as think about the fast approaching changes to your life.

Feeling you tense up, Jungwon lifts his head, scanning your face with searching eyes. “Y/N? What's wrong?” 

Shaking your head dismissively, you smile in what you prayed was a convincing manner. “Just some company shit with my Dad that's stressing me out. I’ll tell you more once I actually know the proper details.” 

Jungwon scrutinizes you, before nodding slowly, “Okay, if you’re sure.”

You clear your throat awkwardly, shaking his arms off of you and sliding off of his lap, “I’m certain. Anyways, I should probably get going, you have to study. Enjoy the food okay?”

“What? No.” Jungwon says incredulously, your arm firmly locked in his grasp, “Stay.”

You huff exasperatedly, “Stay and do what Jungwon, you’re gonna be studying. Plus I’m tired, so I'm gonna head home and take a nap.” 

“You can nap here! Come on, I won’t get distracted by you I swear. I just want you here with me,” Jungwon pouts up at you, slumping in disappointment when you wiggle your arm free of his hold. 

"I fucking hate this cute ass man. He is the literal bane of my existence," you sigh inwardly, giving in as always. You were starting to think Jungwon had cast a spell on you, rendering you unable to refuse him. 

“Alright, fine you win. You can put the fucking pout away, I’ll stay.” You shove his head lightly, walking over to flop onto his bed, wriggling until you’re snug under his duvet. Jungwon’s comforting scent envelops you and you can’t help but inhale it slowly, already feeling the drowsiness tug at your eyelids. 

You peek at Jungwon to find him already staring back at you, a soft smile on his face as he watches you get comfortable in his bed. “What?” you ask defensively, flustering under his affectionate gaze.  “Do your work or I’m gonna leave” you threaten and Jungwon raises his hands in surrender, turning back to his work with a barely stifled smile on his face. 

It’s not long before you’re fast asleep, snoring softly into Jungwon’s pillows. Much like Jungwon, you have had numerous sleepless nights since the performance, albeit for entirely different reasons. 

It’s an hour later when Jake quietly comes into Jungwon’s room, eyes widening at the sight of you knocked out in his bed. 

“Yo, I was just coming in to say thank you to Y/N for the food. My bad, I didn’t know she was sleeping, is she good?” Jake whispers. 

Jungwon considers your slumbering form, chewing on his bottom lip in contemplation, “Yeah, I’m not sure. I can tell something’s bothering her but she’s not too keen on sharing and I didn’t want to push her. I managed to get her to stay for a bit so hopefully she gets some rest and feels up to talking about it.”

Jake looks at Jungwon’s worried demeanor, the way his eyes are trained on you and can’t help the smile that stretches across his face. “You really like her huh?” 

Startled Jungwon faces Jake with wide eyes, “Y-yeah? I mean she’s a really good friend and we just get each other you know? She's really important to me I guess,” he stammers. 

Jake snorts, shaking his head, “Yeah right, dude you know what I meant. Come on, you two are literally obsessed with each other. When are you gonna make your move bro? You never know who might try and steal her away before you even get your chance.”

“I don’t know hyung.” Jungwon pauses, his jaw clenching slightly at the thought of you with someone other than him. “I do like her a lot, maybe even more than that at this point. But I don’t want to risk anything right now you know? She’s a CEO’s daughter and I’m literally a college student worrying about midterms. I just feel like we’re at such different levels, I want to be able to take care of her,” he frowns. 

“Right now, all she’s been doing is helping me out basically, more than you guys even know. And then she did the whole makeup crew thing and now the food. I’m so so grateful for Y/N and everything she does for me. But every time, it just serves as a reminder that when it comes down to it, I’m not sure I can do the same for her. What can I possibly give her that she doesn’t have? If anything I’m dead weight, and I so badly want to be selfish and just ignore it and make her mine-” Jungwon halts as you shift slightly, he had become so absorbed in venting his feelings that he hadn’t realized his gradually increasing volume. 

Jake and Jungwon hold their breath, eyes bouncing back and forth between each other and your stirring figure before you settle down again, letting out a puff of sleep. 

Relieved, the pair exhale gratefully and Jungwon starts again, his tone lowered to a  discouraged mumble. “Anyways, I’m working on getting the confidence to actually do something. But it’s hard hyung, I’d rather be her friend forever than risk it and not have her at all. She could probably have her pick of the most successful men in Seoul, why would she pick me? I’m just Jungwon.”

“Dude, I get it. I really do. Y/N’s great and that can be daunting, but Won, there’s a reason she’s here in your bed. It’s not like she ever really tries to hide the fact that she’s whipped for you bro. If anything she’s probably holding back because you won’t let her breathe in our direction and then you go on twitter and best-friend zone her because you’re too scared to confess that you like her.” 

Jake smiles encouragingly, “She’s right in front of you Jungwon, don’t let her slip away,” with a final pat on Jungwon’s shoulder, he turns to leave. As Jake shuts the door, he spies Jungwon staring at you quietly, gently brushing away the stray hairs from your face. “Idiots in love I swear,” he laughs to himself. 

Jungwon barely registers the click of the door closing, his focus entirely on the way you lean into his fingers, a faint smile tugging at his lips. He slips his phone out of his pocket, snapping a quick picture of you swaddled in his comforters and pillows. 

As his gaze drags over your features, the slight part of your lips as you let out puffs of air, Jungwon’s mind wanders to Jake’s words. If it meant that Jungwon got to see this sight more often, maybe it was worth the risk. 

Jungwon eyes his notes and the clock, weighing the options internally. He sighs as he reaches his decision, not that he had much of a choice anyways when you and his bed looked so enticing. Truthfully, he had already resigned himself to this fate as soon as he had felt the soft flesh of your cheek against his fingers. And so, Jungwon pulls his hoodie over his head, draping it on the back of his chair. Gingerly, he slides into bed next to you, trying not to rouse you from your sleep. 

The dip in the mattress just barely tugs you from your slumber and you look up blearily at Jungwon. “Wonnie?” you slur, voice raspy from lack of use , eyes fighting to stay open.

Jungwon smiles down at you fondly, his hands slipping just under the hem of your shirt to rub soothingly against the small of your back. “Go back to sleep baby I’m right here,” he whispers softly, guiding your head back down to rest against his chest.

You're unable to muster anything but a pleased grunt in response, happily curling up against Jungwon, your legs tangling with his. In the comfort of the warmth radiating from Jungwon and the addled state of your sleep-ridden mind, your guard slips and a mumbled confession escapes your lips “Don’t wanna lose this Jungwon.”

Your words are so quiet and jumbled that Jungwon's not entirely sure he even heard them properly. He's given no chance to process them or question you before you’re sound asleep again, drooling slightly on his shirt. He mulls over your words silently, wondering if it had anything to do with what was bothering you that you refused to tell him about. 

“Why is there so much to think about,” Jungwon groans internally, “Fuck it, I give up on trying to make sense of all of this. I’m just gonna focus on passing first. I’m gonna ace my midterms and then I’m gonna figure out how to ask Y/N out without making a fool of myself.” 

With a new, steely determination set in his mind, Jungwon tugs you even closer, finally allowing himself to fully relax into your touch. He brushes a soft kiss against your forehead, making a mental note to tease you for drooling on him later. 

Jungwon’s not sure of the outcome of the changes that loom over the two of you. If he makes his move and it all goes downhill he may never have the chance to hold you like this again. But for now you're here, and having you firmly within his grasp is comforting enough to allow Jungwon’s eyes to flutter close and his mind to finally succumb to sleep. 

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a/n: rip fluff :( my poor stupid oblivious idiots. who's gonna tell jungwon he probably has less than 4 days :////

tell me ur thoughts <3 hope u enjoyed hehe

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