#I need you guys to stick around and not die or get hurt in very preventable ways

[not-an-evil-overlord]

"What do you mean you haven't checked your smoke alarm in years?" (I love you)

"Are you crazy keep your epi pen with you" (I love you)

"Are you sure you don't need to see a Dr?" (I love you)

"If your phone isn't making calls reliably you should get that checked" (I love you)

"What do you mean you lost your inhaler" (I love you)

[gibberishfangirl]

WIND BREAKER | heart breaker

Synopsis ✰ head cannons of the boys falling for a notorious heart breaker

Characters ✰ Haruka Sakura, Hajime Umemiya, Hayato Suo, Akihiko Nirei, Jo Togame, Choji Tomiyama

Contains ✰ sfw! content of the boys being down bad for someone they shouldn’t be/isn’t good for them

★ inspired by bubblegum bitch by marina ★

Haruka Sakura ᡣ𐭩

★ i’m the girl you’d die for ★

♡ fell in love before he even knew it

♡ down bad horrendously

♡ he’ll do anything for you

♡ he’s heard the rumors before meeting you but chose to ignore them and get to know you

♡ was a blushing mess once you started giving him all your attention

♡ you found his shyness and his ability to get easily flustered charming

♡ he was different to you

♡ you fell for him before you knew it

♡ acted like a couple before you two were official

♡ even after you made it official his feelings never changed

♡ he was completely whipped

♡ he got teased a lot for being so in love

♡ he fell first but you fell harder (and he doesn’t even know it)

♡ in awe by your beauty 24/7

♡ 100% loses himself while admiring you

♡ finds it hard to concentrate around you

♡ has the urge to protect you from the world

♡ after you met him no other guy ever caught your attention again

♡ definitely fought any ex who couldn’t accept you moved on

Hajime Umemiya ᡣ𐭩

★ hit me with your sweet love, steal me with a kiss ★

♡ he was well aware of your reputation

♡ didn’t let it sway him

♡ didn’t fall in love until you kissed him

♡ he thought you were the sweetest person to exist

♡ couldn’t believe someone as nice as you could ever be known as a “heart-breaker”

♡ friends to lovers

♡ once he got taste of you he wanted more

♡ secretly craved your attention and love

♡ learned that you never purposefully hurt anyone

♡ you got your reputation from men with fragile egos

♡ he was glad he didn’t listen to the rumors

♡ you actually never even had a boyfriend

♡ he was your first love

♡ he defended you against everyone

♡ “you don’t know her”

♡ “you shouldn’t listen to rumors before getting to know someone.”

♡ would get annoyed if anyone tried to get in between you two

♡ you made the first move

Hayato Suo ᡣ𐭩

★ dear diary, i met a boy he made my doll heart light up with joy ★

♡ you fell first

♡ he didn’t know that you had a reputation

♡ something about him made him stick out more

♡ you didn’t want anyone but him

♡ he thought you were beautiful at first sight

♡ was the only boy who could ever make you blush

♡ you dropped the guy who you were originally talking to for him

♡ he made you feel seen

♡ he made your heart flutter with his genuine love

♡ was the first boy who wanted you for you

♡ didn’t rush you into anything like every other guy did

♡ slow burn

♡ you craved attention, he was willing to give you all of his and more

♡ he made you feel comfortable and loved

♡ the slowest paced relationship you had in the best way possible

♡ his love was soft and gentle

♡ you needed someone like him in your life

♡ helped heal your past wounds

Akihiko Nirei ᡣ𐭩

★ i’ll chew you up and i’ll spit you out ★

♡ he knew you could ruin him

♡ didn’t stop him from wanting you

♡ took the chance of getting hurt anyway

♡ he loved you more than he loved himself

♡ you changed for him (don’t worry you did not break his heart thankfully)

♡ you were moved by how kind and loyal he was towards you

♡ he never judged you

♡ the kindest boy you’ve ever met

♡ you never smiled as much as you did when you were around him

♡ everyone was surprised to see how gentle you’ve become since meeting him

♡ you two communicated very well

♡ he never got mad at you which meant everything to you

♡ handled your emotions with care and respect

♡ never made you feel like you were too much or not enough

♡ he motivated you to become better each day

♡ you never want to hurt him

♡ you ended up falling for him harder in the long run

Jo Togame ᡣ𐭩

★ pull me closer and kiss me hard ★

♡ he was determined to make you fall for him

♡ thought you were the most beautiful person on the planet

♡ knew you just had bad experiences

♡ didn’t trust the rumors because most guys you dated weren’t great guys

♡ he wanted to be utterly consumed by you

♡ his love was strong and gentle, almost consuming but not suffocating

♡ once he had you, he wouldn’t let you go

♡ made it a point to let everyone know you were his

♡ proud to call you his

♡ never ashamed of you

♡ he never wanted to remember what it was like to be without you

♡ easily became your safe space

♡ his presence made you feel free

♡ never brought up your reputation or past relationships

♡ he didn’t care about the past, he only cares about the future you two have

♡ wouldn’t be afraid to tell an ex to get over it

♡ “shoulda realized what you had before, not my problem”

Choji Tomiyama ᡣ𐭩

★ don’t care if you think i’m dumb, i don’t care at all ★

♡ he loved your confidence

♡ others couldn’t keep up with you in relationships, they’d become too insecure with the amount of attraction you have

♡ thought everyone else was dumb for judging you

♡ he wanted you even if others thought he was dumb for liking you

♡ you two matched each other’s energy perfectly

♡ a match made in heaven/hell (your pick tbh)

♡ he wanted to show you off

♡ was proud he had such a pretty thing that he could call his

♡ isn’t afraid to check someone

♡ would never hold you back

♡ never made you feel like you were doing too much

♡ he wanted you to be as free as possible

♡ never questioned your past relationships, unless an ex came back into your life

♡ would 100% beat up your ex if needed

♡ expect constant laughter and smiles whenever you two were near each other

♡ he definitely made you happiest you’ve ever been

♡ if there was ever a moment you felt down about yourself he’d be there to pick you right up

a/n <3 : i might write a part 2 to this ? maybe with some angst and the scenario of a break up happening??? idkkk lmk, i hate writing sad stuff </3 but it’s speaking to meeee!!! ill prolly tone it down 100% if it happens, send help

[hyuneskkami]

✮⋆˙ LO$ER=LO♡ER

⤷ haikyū!! boys (multiple) x fem!reader

masterlist

♡ fandom | haikyū!!

♡ includes | rintaro suna x f!reader. atsumu miya x f!reader. kotaro bokuto x f!reader. keiji akaashi x f!reader. (separate pairings/drabbles)

♡ warnings | swearing (in suna’s and akaashi’s), loser boyfriend behaviour (in bokuto’s), nicknames (‘babe’, ‘my girl’, etc. in suna’s and akaashi’s), i-love-you’s, very very very short but effective as fuck (it’s literally all 100-200 words each but I loved the endings help), not proofread as always, lmk if I made any mistakes anywhere.

♡ a/n | my favourite inarizaki and fukurōdani boys!!!!! also I kinda projected onto y/n’s personality so i’m acc sorry if it doesn’t cater to your exact personality 😭 and they’re drabbles for a reason but still: they’re so short help 💀 anyway, suna and akaashi’s were inspired by this post (more parts coming soon!)

♡ wc | 1k

(りんたろう 。。。RINTARŌ SUNA !

“delete that!” I shrieked, launching myself at my boyfriend’s body.

he held his phone out of reach and said, “but babe, I like the picture—”

“rin! that picture is so bad—at least let me get pretty, and then we can go out. then you take some pictures and look at them forever, or whatever.” I grumbled, folding my hands over my chest and flopping down onto the couch.

“but you always look pretty,” he looked down at me, before tumbling onto my lap.

“shut up.”

“but you do! even when you think you don’t look pretty, you do! especially when you’re napping or doing stupid shit without me or bullying ‘tsumu into buying you ramen at 2 in the night, and it makes me fall flat on my face, everyday, knowing I get to wake up to such a beautiful person by my side,” he said, fondly, and grinned. rintarō suna grinned at me! wait. i’m his girlfriend. why am I simping over that?

words failed me, so I just resorted to turning bright red and grumbling. “yeah. whatever. shut up—”

he pecked my cheek and sat back.

unable to conceal my red cheeks and wide eyes, I stood up, smacking his head, and walked to the kitchen.

“oi! don’t ‘whatever’ me! I love you!” he yelled, and stood up, continuing to follow me as I giggled to myself.

宮 みや 侑 あつむ 。。。ATSUMU MIYA !

“y/n, I swear to god, stop diving–” osamu started.

“IT’S LITERALLY MY JOB, SHUT UP–”

“YOU GOT ENOUGH PRACTICE, YOU’LL HURT YOUR TINY SELF–”

“oi oi oiii, don’t call my girl tiny,” atsumu, my personal favourite miya twin, said, walking onto the court with three bentōs and water bottles. he pecked my check.

“huh? she started it!” osamu pointed an accusatory finger at me.

I blew a raspberry in his face, sticking my tongue out.

“oho, I see the team is here, eh? spiker, setter, and libero, mm?” kita’s voice rang out, his smug tone not going unnoticed.

I groaned. “don’t you dare let akagi-senpai hear that. I will kill myself if he hears it. I don’t need a skilled, official libero flaming behind me.”

“after akagi-san graduates, we’ll probably die trying to find a proper libero, ehh,” osamu said.

“what if we disguise n/n as a guy?” atsumu suggested. I slapped his arm, catching onto his idea.

“dude! yes!” I screamed.

“bro! I love you so much!” ‘tsumu shrieked, grinning.

“ahh, to be young, to dream, and to be in love,” kita sighed behind us.

ぼくと こうたろう 。。。KŌTARŌ BOKUTO !

“i’m not fixing him, i’m making him worse,” I smiled.

“are you talking about bokuto or your toys?” akaashi raised his brow. “you’re supposed to say, ‘I can fix him’, not ‘i’m not fixing him’.” he groaned. “god knows he needs it!”

“excuse me?!” bokuto screeched, walking into the living room with two bowls of popcorn, feigning shock.

“kashi! don’t say that to my baby,” I frowned. “you’re an absolute angel, c’mere, baby.” I made grabby motions at bokuto. he grinned at me, turned around to stick his tongue out at akaashi, and handed him a bowl of popcorn. akaashi pretended to gag, but accepted the bowl and started scarfing down the popcorn without hesitation.

“he’s just jealous he doesn’t have a y/n,” bokuto grumbled after sitting down beside me, and hiding his face in my neck.

“I see her everyday anyway, and I don’t need another, honestly. she’s chaotic as it is,” he said, halfway through finishing his bowl. I flashed him a toothy grin and stole some popcorn from bokuto’s bowl.

he handed the entire bowl over to me, and mumbled, looking anywhere but at me, “itwasforyouinthefirstplace.” I still saw his red ears and giggled.

“bro, you’ve been with her for two years,” akaashi pointed out. “you still get nervous talking to her, just like the first time, eh–”

“shhh, kashi! let me enjoy one of japan’s top aces getting flustered over popcorn–it’s cute.”

“youreluckyIloveyou!”

“what was that? i’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear you–”

after that, bokuto whined and akaashi teased him, and I could only look at them and smile, till the movie ended.

akaashi moved to his bedroom while I walked up the stairs and flopped down onto bokuto’s soft mattress, melting into it.

he was already sound asleep beside me, passing out as soon as his body had hit the bed around an hour ago. I rolled closer to him, and threw both my legs over his blanket-covered ones, lying in an odd diagonal position across the bed.

I opened tumblr on my phone to scroll through my dash before sleeping. I chuckled at the first post that showed up, reblogged it, and fell asleep.

あかあし 。。。KEIJI AKAASHI !

keiji came over around an hour ago to my dorm after his volleyball practice with the boys ended late. after he took a shower and came out half-naked, we fell onto the couch in the living room together, wrapped in a blanket together with the air conditioning at its lowest temperature.

he was lying to the inner side of the couch on his side and I layed down right in front of him, on my side too.

“I can feel you staring. it’s creepy as fuck,” I said, turning around to look at him in the dim light of the room illuminated solely by the television playing some show.

“i’m not even allowed to look at my girl now? geez,” he rolled his eyes, continuing to gaze lazily at my face. my breathing quickened at the short distance, and I was sure he could tell.

“don’t look at me with those eyes,” I whispered.

“what eyes?” he smirked, leaning in.

kozumesphone © 2024 | don’t repost my works onto other platforms, or edit and post them even on tumblr, without asking me first • don’t steal my works, steal my heart instead • reblogs and comments are more than appreciated !

[enigma-the-mysterious]

AITA for trying to accomplish my father's dreams and hurting my best friend in the process?

Alright, here we go. So, I (30M) have been working on a pretty intense task for the last few years. I made a promise to someone very dear to me—my father, to be exact—that I would do whatever it takes to accomplish it. To do this, I had to take some drastic steps. We’re talking undercover stuff, working within a system that’s more rotten than an overripe jackfruit, all to get closer to taking down the enemy from the inside.

To accomplish this mission, I needed a special promotion. I have been putting myself through hell and back, but those racist assholes at higher up kept passing over me to promote Mediocre White Dude #57. Then a few months ago, I finally, FINALLY made some solid progress when my boss's wife guaranteed me the promotion if I could track down and arrest some anonymous dude who was proving to be a security issue for my boss. Pretty straightforward, right?

Now here’s the issue. At about the same time a few months ago, I met this guy; let’s call him A (26M) for now. My work-life balance had honestly been, well, shitty to say the least, thanks to my father's mission, and I barely had the time to socialize and make any meaningful connections in the city I moved in. Meeting with A had been a chance encounter too. Long story short, we clicked instantly and became fast friends. He is a great guy all around— smart, funny, passionate, good natured, kind, helpful— just about everything you can possibly wish for in a friend (although he could be a little naive sometimes).

But here’s the kicker: a few days earlier, I found out that A has been lying to me about... basically EVERYTHING! ALL this time. He is not from the city; the people he claimed to be his family are not even related to him. Even his name isn't A, it's B! But what's worse is that he is exactly the guy I was supposed to arrest. And he was on a mission too. Except his mission was not targeting my boss, it was to rescue someone— his sister M (9F) to be exact— my boss and his wife had kidnapped and enslaved (long story). Yup, that’s right, we were on opposite sides without even realizing it.

Things escalated quickly. I... well… I had to make a choice. I chose to betray him to keep up my own cover and stick with my father's mission. And yeah, it was brutal— there was a literal fight to the death involved. I tried to convince him at first to surrender without fighting, but of course B didn't listen and refused to back down. I can’t even begin to explain how much it hurt to turn on someone I came to respect, even love…. uhh…. like a brother, of course.

And then, to rub salt to the wound, once I arrested him, my boss (FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK DIE BITCH) ordered me to flog B publicly till he fell to his knees and begged for mercy. Yeah, those were his exact words, that bastard! I felt like I had no choice, so I did what I was told. And it was one of the worst days of my life. I kept asking B to kneel so I could end the torture, but he is one stubborn and tough motherfucker and decided he would rather suffer through a public torture session than kneel. My dickface boss and his bitch wife weren't satisfied with how little blood I was drawing out of B, so they kept escalating the torture until B couldn't take it anymore and fell unconscious.

I ended up hurting him so badly, both physically and emotionally. It is fucking me up, honestly. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even get out of my bed right now. I honestly feel like dying.

So, AITA for betraying and hurting my best friend to accomplish my father's mission? I did what I thought was necessary to save countless lives, but I can’t shake the feeling that maybe I went too far.

Edit: No, B did not know that I worked for the people who kidnapped his sister. He did not befriend me to take advantage of my position, as some of you have been implying. He did not, I repeat, he did NOT betray me. If anyone has betrayed and wronged him, it's me!

Edit 2: No, I didn't tell B my real intentions and my father's mission. Didn't you read the post? I am working UNDERCOVER!

[tartigglez]

puppy, bunny or kitty? (pt.1)

・❥・hey guys here's silly goofy headcanons of some genshin people and what flavour of petplay they're in to lol. this was initially only the mondstadters but i threw in some liyue babagrills too woowwo

・❥・kaeya, diluc, jean, albedo, thoma, zhongli, childe (separate) x gn!reader

・❥・nsfw, 16+, this is about petplay so dni if uncomfy!, sub!switch!character, dom!switch!reader, collaring, ears n tails, i think thats it? general dom/sub dynamics, talk of aftercare, degradation in some, just general filth bro

・❥・0.8k

kaeya - puppy

when he’s not in control, he really enjoys being loyal and told what to do. he loves when you order him around and when you spoil him, so its no surprise how happy he looks when you present him with a fluffy, blue tail you got for him recently. he happily giggles and asks if he can put it in. only you would be capable of breaking the cavalry captains ever-suave façade. he just sincerely hopes nobody ever finds out how he can get when you're in control…

diluc - kitty

diluc is poised, prim and proper, and although he doesn’t quite see it, you’ve definitely noticed this fact making itself present in your sex life. it’s not often that he hands control over to you, but when he does, he does it fully and completely. the level of trust he has for you is incomparable to anything else, so he trusts that he will be safe with you. he’s not much in to having accessories, but will definitely kneel by you, allow you to pat his head and rest it against your thigh, or kiss up and down it, depending on how he’s feeling. 

jean - kitty 

she’s never thought much in to the idea of having one of you being strictly “in charge” so to speak, but when you suggest it, she’ll enthusiastically agree. as much as she is quite vanilla, she’ll try anything once. she is more than happy to put on cat ears and place her hands between her legs on the bed as she kneels, happily awaiting for you to tell her what to do. 

albedo - puppy

albedo will quite literally do whatever you tell him to do, he is a literal golden retriever, i will die on this hill. he is extremely gentle in nature and this reflects in every aspect of his life. he is usually vanilla but this is one of the exceptions to that. when he feels like submitting, you should be ready for him to become completely subservient, he will be awaiting your command, tongue out, waiting for you to push your fingers in to his mouth. when he has been won over, it is so incredibly hard to break his loyalty. he trusts you with everything. (do not hurt him ;-;)

thoma - puppy, through and through. 

thoma is good at keeping secrets, which is why it's such a surprise to you when he shows you his collection of ears and tails, but you are far from disappointed. in fact, there is nothing prettier than watching him as he kneels, waiting for you and pouting. he loves being praised. just you telling him what a good boy he is has him smiling ear to ear and sticking his tongue out for you. he’s loud and vocal, whining and whimpering without even realising he’s doing it. he can get needy very easily, but he’s happy to wait for you, even if he knows you’re only teasing him. eventually you’ll give him what he needs, and that’s enough for him.

zhongli - a bit of them all!

it’s pretty impossible to type zhongli for this, it really just depends on how he’s feeling! he finds it really, really attractive when you suddenly assert dominance over him, kiss him all over and make it known that you are in charge. he is such a powerful being, but he is reduced to nothing when you tell him how much of a pretty puppy he is in that sweet, sarcastic tone. if he’s feeling more bratty however, that’s when he wants to be chastised for being a naughty kitty. he will put up a fight against your dominance, but he never wants to win that fight at all. when he craves intimacy, but doesn’t want to take charge, he will bury his head in to your neck and whisper soft words against it. when you’ve only just begun, it might be something along the lines of how wonderful you look. later, when he’s further gone, it may be something different entirely, like asking if he’s a pretty bunny, or it could be that his mind is already wandering to the thought of aftercare with you. 

childe - puppy

cheery in nature, eager to try anything, and above all, loyal, childe wants to try everything for you, and will readily defend you in any situation. at the same time, he is literally filthy. nothing turns him on more than being degraded and used and told how much of a whore he is. he’s a little ashamed at first, but nothing makes him happier than being treated that way, then being degraded for it. being belittled makes him so incredibly horny, but also drives him to do better for you. trust he will serve you, and will bring you all the pleasure you could possibly seek. of course, aftercare is important as always. treat him softly, he needs time to get out of the headspace <3

nsfw masterlist || sfw masterlist || taglist: @celestetalkstoomuch @lioria

© tartigglez, 2023. do not copy, translate or repost, reblogs appreciated

[legendofmorons]

hiya! i really like your writing! can i request reactions [from whomever you want] with a reader [platonic or romantic idc lol] who is like spiderman! like, has the sense and webs, and the workload of "who knows how they manage shit". i just think its a fun idea, cause they'd also be a "hero"

Of course you can! This is such a cool Idea! (Is there a hyrule where a spider person is the hero of courage? Maybe.)

Four

Take a nap

No, really, he tries to get you to sleep as often as possible

He'll try to enhance any weapons you may have

IF you have mechanical web shooters he will be very interested

If you have biological web shooters in your wrist from the mutation he's still curious

Can amd will try to improve your suit so you are safer

Is HORRIFIED by your workload

Don't you know about burn out??

Do you just not care?

Overall he's curious and a little overbearing

But he also understands that you're a hero, and as a hero, sometimes it doesn't matter if you're exhausted.

He'll insist you let him make you metal braces, so some of the work your joints face isn't so bad. (ESPECIALLY if your joints already hurt)

Hyrule

He is excited to learn about it!

He's also not like other people. He just has healing magic, you're a spider person

Neat!

Assuming you have the boosted healing factor that lost spider people seem to have he's relieved

He will always heal you, but it's nice that you don't need it as often

Also very worried about your work load

Always trying to get you to drink more water

If he were aware of more modern culture he'd yell 'hydrate or die-drate!'

Die-drate is not an option as far as he's concerned

Asks about the ability to stick to things. He's very interested in this

Legend

It depends on when he finds out.

He's definitely concerned no matter when you tell them though

If he's not warmed up to you yet he's kind of standoffish about it. If you share he listens bit he won't ask

If you Are close to him though he has SO many questions

How does it work?

What happened to give you these powers?

How much weight can you handle?

Have you always been so flexible?

No matter what your relationship is, if you tell him about the Spiderman upside down kiss thing, he goes RED

He also asks if you catch and eat bugs.

(What? He just knows that's what spiders do!)

He encourages ypu to take some things off your plate.

Sky

Probably the least phased?

He's curious of course

But his life has been so weird. He's met plant penguins, gopher people, and his best friend was a goddess

Asks if you're descended from a spider god

Also asks if you can turn into a spider

He also encourages you to take breaks and indulge in things that make you happy

He's happy to make anything that might help you, but with his skills, mostly in whittling, he's not sure it's that helpful.

He is excited to see you swing around, it's the closest most anyone can get to flying (aside from Sky and Wild)

Time

Immediately concerned

Powers?

Insane workload?

He gets it, mostly

Not entirely his life isn't like your's but he understands the weight power and workload hold

He is curious about your powers

Also very interested in the way your webs are made. Dosen’t matter if it's mechanical or biological

Will have you take to the tree tops when you guys ambush monsters

If you make a hamock/swing out of webs he'll be happy to keep you company

Twilight

Worried

He's not sure how to feel actually

He's curious about how you became a spider person

If he feels close to you he'll ask about it

He's glad you have enhanced healing though. He feels a little less worried

He's still worried you guys are hunting down a shadow

Will be easy to convince to race, you with your webs and him on Epona

Warriors

He is very sympathetic to your workload

He offers tips to help woth burnout

He helps you strategies to battle plans off your abilities

Wars is willing to spar with you so you can improve too

Please let him help with the self care of after the battle.

Probably asks about the effectiveness of webs as emergency bandages

Wild

He's not that phased either. He's met a semi-vengeful horse god

At least you aren't only worried about the safety of the horses

(Don't worry he takes excellent care of Epona and his own horses)

He'll ask about your adventures

He would be excited to have someone else capable of climbing!

He'll happily climb up steep cliffs with you (it can be a race he likes a challenge)

Wind

Excited

He also has a million questions

He wants to see what you can do!

He's happy to watch you swing around but he wants to come with!

Swing around with him and he's just thrilled!

He asks about ypur webs and if they could capture a monster if you strung them up like a real spider web

He also probably asks for stories about your adventures.

[katethetank]

Rating: 18+, minors gtfo Chapter Summary: Third date time! Eddie takes Steve out, they trauma dump and learn more about each other CW: Discussions of shitty parents, overdose/parent death, child abuse, parental neglect, alcoholism, cheating, coming out, slutty pasts - tell me if missed anything! Tags: Alternate Universe - modern setting, Rock Star Eddie, Counselor Steve, Eddie is gay, Steve is bi, slow burn, eventual smut Word Count:2,705

Chapter 6<<Masterlist>>Chapter 8

“You surprise me, Edward Munson.”

“How’s that, Chrissycakes?”

“Two dates with this guy and you didn’t even get in his pants. Your physical restraint amazes me.”

He flips her off via FaceTime. “I am capable of keeping my hands to myself, thank you”

“Your track record would prove otherwise.”

“Fair.”

It’s been about a week since date number two and he’s currently getting ready for number three as he catches up with his best friend. 

“It’s not like that though. This isn’t about a quick fuck for me. Or him either! I don’t know his whole story yet, but I get the vibe that he’s been let down a lot in the past. So, he’s being cautious. I totally get that, and I’m not gonna push for anything and risk hurting him.”

“That’s really sweet, babe. I have to ask though…what’s the end game here? Say you guys do get closer and you end up sleeping together. You don’t want to hurt him, but eventually your break is gonna be over and it’s back to work. Then what?”

Isn’t that the million dollar question? Eddie would be a big fat liar if said he hasn’t thought about it. It’s his biggest worry, actually. What happens when he has to go back to L.A.? Back to the studio, or on the road again? 

“I’m not sure…this is all pretty new still, you know? I don’t think I need to have those answers just yet, but the questions have definitely been on my mind. It’s not like I’m never in Indy - I come back to see Wayne when I’m able. I can make an effort to be here more if that’s something Steve would want.”

“Look at you, making grown up decisions!”

“Fuck off!”

“I’m serious! This is big, Ed. It sounds like - dare I say - you’re willing to commit to this guy.”

“Maybe I am, we’ll just have to wait and see! Now let me go so I can finish primping, I gotta leave soon.”

“Where are you taking him?”

“Well, we joked about how the third date is where you trauma dump, so I reserved a smash room for us. We’re gonna break shit and spill our guts. And if he still wants to stick around after learning what a broken man I am, then I’m gonna take him to a food truck festival.”

“That sounds super fun! He’s gonna love it!”

“I sure as hell hope so. Alright, I gotta go, love you!”

“Love you too! Wrap it before you tap it!”

Eddie cackles as he hangs up and gives himself a final check in the mirror. He told Steve it would be casual, so he’s got on some ripped black jeans, a studded belt, super soft faded Metallic shirt, an open red flannel, and his shit kicker boots. His hair is down and he used a little product to tame it. He nods in the mirror and gives himself the finger guns before he steps out of his room at Wayne’s house.

He makes his way out to the black SUV in the driveway. He figured it would be a good idea to temporarily lease something since he’s gonna be in town for a few months. Better than stealing Wayne’s truck all the time. He hops in, turns on some music and heads over to Steve’s.

When he arrives, he barely finishes knocking on the door before it flies open and his sunshine boy is standing on the other side with a big smile. “Hey Eds!”

Eddie’s gonna die, he looks so cute. Light wash jeans that are leaving very little to the imagination, a buttery yellow sweater, and worn black and white Chucks. “Hey sweetheart, you look adorable. C’mere.”

He pulls Steve in by the waist, tilts his chin up with a ringed finger and gives him a slow and gentle kiss. God, he’s missed those lips. 

Steve hums and runs his hands up Eddie’s arms. He breaks the kiss and lightly pushes Eddie back. “Oof, ok enough of that or we’re never gonna leave. C’mon, let’s go!” He locks up and they head to the car. Eddie opens the passenger door and bows. Steve fakes a courtesy and climbs in, both of them giggling like children. 

Eddie hops in and takes a minute to pair Steve’s phone with the car’s stereo. “Alright sweetheart, you’re the DJ tonight. Do your worst.”

“You’re gonna regret that,” Steve laughs. He taps around on his phone for a bit and then music starts to pour out of the speakers.

It takes Eddie all of 3 seconds to recognize what he’s hearing. “Is this Tears for fucking Fears?”

Steve cracks up and says, “I told you you’d regret it! You said I get to pick, so you only have yourself to blame!”

He’s absolutely right. Whatever playlist he’s picked is actually really fun, though. A lot of 80’s pop and new wave. They both know every song and sing along like it’s Car Karaoke, hands held over the center console.

“So, where are you taking me on this mystery date?”

Eddie grins and replies, “Just you wait, we’re almost there.” A few minutes later they pull up to a nondescript building. Eddie opens Steve’s door and leads him by the hand inside.

As soon as Steve registers where they are, his face lights up. “Oh my god, is this a smash room? I’ve always wanted to do this!”

“That it is, sweetheart. I pulled a few strings and got us the whole place to ourselves. Come on, let’s gear up.” Eddie greets the guy who’s running the place - turns out it’s Gareth’s cousin and he was happy to do him the favor. For a price of course. 

He leads them back to a concrete room and gives them the protective gear to slip on. They’re baggy jumpsuits, a white head sock thing that covers their hair and necks, work gloves, and heavy duty plastic shield to cover their faces. They look like idiots but it’s worth it to hear Steve’s laugh. The guy gives them the basic safety rundown. Eddie hands over his phone and has him take a picture for them before he leaves them to it.

“Alright Stevie, it’s trauma time! We’re gonna take turns dumping all that baggage, and then smash the shit out of something. They got a whole selection of tools over here for…well…smashing things. So pick your poison and let’s get started!”

He has no right looking as cute as he does in all this ridiculous gear. Steve peruses the options and hesitates before he selects a baseball bat. Not just any bat though. It’s a fucking nail bat and Eddie may have made a mistake choosing this activity because he’s definitely going to be pitching a tent in this atrocious jumpsuit as he watches Steve twirl the damn thing around.

He chooses a (much less cool) metal pipe and they step over the plastic bins filled with all kinds of glass items. Plates, bowls, mugs, vases, you name it. Eddie decides to break the ice as he grabs a vase from the pile and sets it in a metal filing cabinet in the middle of the room. He gestures to Steve to step back, then looks him in the eye and says, “I didn’t graduate from high school until I was 20.”

The vase explodes when he swings at it with the pipe. “Holy shit. That was fun!” He’s scared to look over at Steve, afraid that there will be a look of disgust and disappointment on his face. He forces himself to turn around and is met with kind eyes and a small smile.

Steve motions him aside and grabs a pint glass, setting it in the same spot. He looks at Eddie and says, “I’m dyslexic.” The nail bat decimates the glass. Eddie could cry.

He takes his turn placing a serving bowl upside down on the floor. “I grew up dirt poor in a trailer park.” Smash

Steve selects a coffee mug with geese on it. “I grew up as a trust fund kid, but I’d have given that all up for parents who actually loved me.” He tosses the mug in the air and swings. Smash

Eddie grabs a mug with a generic flower print. “I dealt drugs in high school to help Wayne pay the bills.” He launches the mug at the wall. Smash

Steve finds a dinner plate. “My parents left me alone for weeks at a time starting when I was 13. They’d leave me money to order pizza and pay the utilities, but never even called to check on me when they were gone.” He throws the plate on the floor. Smash

Eddie takes a wine glass and sets it on the filing cabinet. “My mom was an addict. She overdosed when I was 6.” Smash

Steve sets up another vase. “My mom will deny it till the day she dies, but she’s an alcoholic.” Smash

Eddie gets a teacup. “My dad is in prison for armed robbery, and like, 10 other charges that I don’t even remember anymore. Haven’t seen him since I was 12 when they took him away.” He lets the cup fall from his finger. Smash

Steve finds a soup bowl, sets it on the floor. “My dad has been having affairs for years. My mom would travel with him for business trips and shit to try to keep him from cheating but it never stopped him.” Smash

Eddie puts several shot glasses on the cabinet. “My dad caught me kissing another boy in the neighborhood before he got locked up. Beat me with his belt. Shaved my head. Said he wasn’t gonna have a fag for a son. I ran away and went straight to Wayne. Never looked back. That was my first kiss” SMASH

Steve sets up a serving dish. “When Will came out to his parents, they were so supportive. Like an idiot I thought my parents might be some fraction of that. I told them I was bi. My mom just ignored what I said and offered to set me up with a girl from the country club. My dad was furious. He gave me an ultimatum: take back what I said and live a ‘normal’ life, or get out of his house. I packed up that day and moved in with Joyce and Hop.” SMASH

Eddie grabs a mug from a truck stop diner or something. He hesitates for a moment before looking at Steve. “I’m gonna turn 30 this year and I’ve never been in a serious relationship. And I’ve never been in love.” He launches the mug at the floor. Smash

Steve hesitates as well before picking up a glass. “I look for love in everyone I sleep with and never find it.” He throws it at the wall. Smash

Eddie sets up a pint glass. “I’ve slept with more people than I can count and I don’t even know most of their names.” Smash

Steve finds another vase. “I’ve been a slut too.” Smash

They both laugh at that one. And suddenly the air seems lighter. They take turns just breaking stuff for fun. Lobbing things at each other and swingIng their weapons of choice. Steve making contact way more than Eddie. Fucking jocks.

Steve sets up an old lady candy dish on the cabinet and is quiet for a moment. He looks at Eddie. “I really like you. And I’m scared of getting hurt. Nobody ever chooses me, not for more than a night. I’ve been so happy this last month, getting to know you and connecting with you. But I’m afraid there’s an expiration date on whatever this is. I don’t know what your intentions are or where this could go. But I want to find out. I want to try.” Smash

Eddie has to fight back tears as he picks out a pitcher. “I really like you. More than I ever could have anticipated. It scares me too, you know? This feels like it could be something really big. I don’t know what the future holds either. My break ends in a few months, but I want to spend every moment I can with you. And whatever happens next, I want you to know that I’m in. I’m all in. I want to do whatever I can to make this work. If you’ll let me.” Smash

Steve grabs a glass. “Of course I’ll let you. But if it’s ok, I don’t still don’t want to rush anything.” Smash

Eddie takes a plate. “We’ll go as slow as you need honey.” Smash

They stare at each other and the tension in the air is palpable. Like magnets, they move towards each other, their weapons clattering to the floor, pulling off the shields on their faces and removing those god awful head socks. Their mouths collide in a hard and intense kiss. Steve throws his arms around Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie's hands cling to Steve’s back. Their lips part and tongues entangle. They’re groaning and panting into each other's mouths when they hear a knocking on the plexiglass partition on a nearby wall.

They break the kiss and look over to find Gareth’s cousin shaking his head and rolling his eyes. He taps the nonexistent watch on his wrist and they get the message. Time to wrap it up. 

They share bashful smiles and make their way out of the room. The jumpsuits are shed and Eddie makes sure to give this poor guy a tip for having to whiteness them making out. His phone is handed back - he forgot he didn’t even have it - and they head out to the next part of their date. They climb into his car and Steve sets up the next playlist. Eddie nods in approval as Nirvana pours out of the speakers. 

Steve sighs happily. “That was so therapeutic. Thank you. Seriously, I didn’t realize how much I needed to get all that out.” He takes Eddie’s hand in his and intertwines their fingers. “And I meant everything I said. I really want to try making this work.”

“Me too, Steve. God, I haven’t unloaded like that in a long time. I think Wayne and Chrissy are the only other people who know all of that. Welcome to the club, I guess.”

Steve chuckles and says, “I’m glad to be a part of it. So what’s next?”

“Are you hungry?”

“Oh my god, starving!” 

It’s fully dark out when they get to the food truck festival. Steve is an adorable little ball of energy as he drags Eddie from one truck to the next. They try sushi, brisket sandwiches, tacos, chili fries, everything they can get their hands on. And if they feed each other bites of food and kiss the taste out of each other’s mouths, well that’s for them to know and everyone else can mind their business. They walk off their full bellies at a nearby park, fingers linked, and share more lighthearted stories than their earlier topics.

Steve shivers in the crisp night breeze and Eddie decides it’s time to call it a night. They head back to the car and make their way back to Steve’s. The playlist chosen is really fucking chill. “What is this, Stevie?”

“Gregory Alan Isakov. Is it ok? I figured you usually like metal or whatever, but this is like…really good nighttime music.”

“No, it’s great! Totally not what I usually listen to, but it’s beautiful…you’re beautiful.” It’s too dark out to see the blush, but Eddie knows it’s there. They arrive at Steve’s and Eddie walks him to his door. “I had the best time tonight sweetheart.”

Steve bites his lip and his puppy eyes blink up at Eddie. “Me too, Eds…do you need to head home or?…Do you maybe wanna come in for a bit?”

He’s trying his best to not let his mind wander to what those implications could be. But he knows his boy isn’t going to rush into anything. “Yeah, I can stay for a little while.”

Steve smiles and turns to unlock the door. Eddie slowly breathes in deep. Restraint. He can show restraint.

Chapter 6<<Masterlist>>Chapter 8

*********************************************

I like comments! Taglist is open! I love you!

@annachronisme @mrsjellymunson @kozuuji

[solid-white]

Canon vs Fanon [TF2 edition]

Okay so I finally got to reading the tf2 comics after being gone for 7 years and never having read the comics, so here's a comparison between Fanon and Canon:

Fanon: The mercs all care for each other and are like a family (but who doesn't love some found family?)

Canon: They could give two shits about if they die or not. The only ones that actually "care" for the team is arguably Ms. Pauling and/or Scout. Even then they have their separate reasons for why they're sticking around around. They refer to and think of each other as coworkers. Though they're friendly with each other and do think of each other as work friends (helping each other out, making jokes with one another)

Fanon Demoman: a drunkard who's excessively flashy and eccentric. Ruins a lot of stuff by being drunk and shares the same braincells as canon Soldier.

Canon Demoman: A pretty chill guy when he isn't in battle. He's also pretty serious when it involves matters he needs to be serious about (ex. Having to go undercover in the lead paint town). Overall? 8/10 character. Currently my favourite besides Pyro.

Fanon Pyro: (will refer to Pyro as him) Sometimes his childish trait overlaps with his violent nature, the opposite spectrum happening as well. He's also sometimes depicted as being unaware that he's killer. Loves the team and sees all of them as family. Non-intellegent.

Canon Pyro: He's very much aware that he's a freak of nature. He's a gentle mix of childish and pyromaniac. Is actually pretty intelligent, having gotten a company rich in a matter of 6 months. Won't hurt people just cuz, only does so when it's a job or they dislike fires, and when he does, makes sure the person suffers because it's fun. Extremely chaotic. Barely interacts with the team (besides Engie) outside of jobs.

Fanon Scout: Childish, yaps, reckless, dies a lot because he's the runt, narcissistic, and doesn't know how to do anything (idiotic). "Erpy derp, me twink scout. Will not hurt you because bad." (Depicted as non violent). Comic relief. Doesn't get along with any of the mercs due to his childish nature, particularly Sniper and Heavy.

Canon Scout: Likes to yap a lot, has a brash attitude, and is self-centered/egotistical. He's also in deep denial that Spy is his father. He isn't book smart, but he's smart enough to know how to play his cards right (persuasive when it comes to things he wants). Knows how to drive. "And brother, I hurt people!" (Enjoys hurting others). Pretty close to Sniper (Hangs out with him outside of work/buddy-buddy with him. Ex. The fist bump, Sniper jokingly smiling at Scouts joke during expiration date, etc) he's arguably the only one who's truly buddy-buddy with the entire team.

Fanon Heavy: Big beefy guy who doesn't have a single brain (that assumption has corrected itself over time). He's also obsessed with sandviches, will pummel Scout if they're even in the same vicinity, and gay for Medic and will go out of his way to be close to Medic.

Canon Heavy: Intelligent (Russian literature PHD), doesn't speak much unless spoken to, serious and has a 24/7 stone wall expression. Only gets annoyed with Scout because of his constant speaking, willing to die for Medic and sees him as a close friend (now I understand where all the ship art came from). And loves sandviches.

This is getting long and I'm tired. Will continue analysis soon.

[captain-sodapop]

In the middle of season 7. Each rewatch, I feel like my focus goes to something new, and this time around, it's really sticking out to me how - because the show presents Sam through the lens of Dean - how Dean thinks there is something inherently wrong with Sam from the start. And that never changes. Like yes, Dean loves Sam, he really does, but but it's always something. If it weren't for the fact that Sam's psychic abilities and the demon blood (things he didn't ask for, by the way) made him different, it would be the simple fact that Sam does not buy into Dean's worldview. When Dean confronted Sam about Amy, when he called Amy a freak, it was heartbreaking to see Sam's hurt reaction to that. If Sam himself weren't dealing with severe mental illness due to his own trauma (which Dean finds freakish), he would be a freak simply by association by empathizing with Amy.

And speaking of Sam's hallucinations and mental health struggles in season 7 in particular (which, Dean obviously has his own struggles that deserve sympathy, but that's not what we're focusing on right now), it's all a repercussion of what Sam has been dealing with since the beginning of the show. We know that Sam has always felt like there was something different about him, and if you take John's journal into account and remember Lucifer showing him all the demons that have been following him his whole life in "Swan Song", then there's always been something...well, supernatural about him. Brady gets possessed, introduces him to Jess, he starts to get visions, he discovers he's psychic and has powers, that he's Lucifer's vessel, that "you didn't need the feather to fly, Dumbo, you had it in you all along"...then he goes to Hell, where his soul is stuck for months, being tortured by Satan himself. And because Cas brought him back without his soul, Dean's trust issues with him continue through season six and into season seven. He doesn't trust that Sam is stable. He doesn't trust that Sam isn't somehow wrong. Somehow a freak.

And it's not fair. It's so sad. You can understand, in a way, why Dean is wary. But Sam didn't ask for any of this. He does bear some responsibility in certain situations, yes, but he was forced into these things, or manipulated, or was simply born that way. There is nothing inherently wrong with the fact that he was born with these abilities.

It goes against Dean's worldview, though. It goes against the idea that his family should be all-in on what they do, that Sam should just fall in line, that the world is black and white and that there is something inherently wrong with people who have these abilities and differences that makes them less than human.

Remember when Sam got pissed at him for not telling him that Jack was planning to die in order to defeat Chuck? And Dean was upset that Sam asked ethical questions? So Sam, who is - according to many, including sometimes his own family - supposedly less than human, is the one asking and confronting these ethical questions, is pushing back against the popular worldview of the people he is associated with, and that pisses them off. They get upset that Sam pushes back. (God, if I'm not careful, I'm going to go into analysis of how Sam's hair represents his resistance.)

Look. Sam is the protagonist of the show. We see him through Dean's eyes, and because of Dean's worldview, the way we see Sam is skewed. And maybe that's the point. Maybe we're supposed to be questioning Dean more than people do. When Sam says in season eight that the trials are "purifying" him, that he always felt as if there was something wrong with him, we shouldn't be agreeing; we should be horrified at the fact that he has gone through life feeling subhuman. We should be questioning the world around him and the community he is a part of that simultaneously seems to detest his very existence.

The guy is literally part of a hostile environment, and every time he tries to break away, he gets guilted back into it. Either he serves the system, or it'll kill him.

[alltimefail]

I wrote a ridiculously long response that turned into basically a fic outline for this question from the Save The Dead Boys Twitter account, and I'm sharing it here so I can link the alt text for people who may want or need it (because Twitter's alt-text limits characters for some reason??? very annoying).

(Source)

Without further ado, The Dead Boy Detectives Zoo episode no one asked for is under the cut 😂

I think a day at the London Zoo would make an incredibly interesting backdrop for an episode!

Edwin has more than likely never been to the zoo, as the London Zoo itself did not open until 1928, years after he died. Charles and Crystal, however, have most certainly been to the London Zoo. Niko has been to a zoo before too, just not the one in London quite yet.

I imagine it happens like this: a ghost client who worked at the London Zoo and died due to being attacked by one of the animals comes in distraught. At first, no one understands the unfinished business or mystery of it; they just feel bad for the person because that's a horrifying way to die obviously, but they know HOW they died/where they died/when they died so it seems pretty cut and dry. That's when the ghost tells them that they'd worked there for years, specifically in the exhibit they died in, and the animals had never so much as bitten the workers in malice, nonetheless had bouts of uncontrollable rage. The only thing they remember before the attack is the animal spasming and acting in pain - that's why the worker intervened, to help - and then everything is muddy from there. The eyes of the animal, however, were the strange part... they had almost a sparkling sheen over them... and that's when the boys realize something is afoot.

They take the case and the client leaves, Charles goes pattering on about how it had been "Literally forever" since he went to a proper zoo, just waxing nostalgic and excited as he does, and the girls are bantering along with him because Niko says she's never been to London's zoo, and that's when Edwin pipes up, nonchalantly like, "Ah yes, I suppose I've never been either, now that you mention it." Charles is just... flabbergasted at this, he's like "MATE, you've never been to London Zoo?" and Edwin good-naturedly rolls his eyes and is like, "I have not been to any zoo, Charles, as the very concept was not even around when I was alive," and he'd probably say more but the look on Charles' face is kind of sad and sheepish because he should have known that, shouldn't of he? Edwin immediately goes to reassure him before Niko breaks the tension (observative as she is) and she's like, "OMG guys, this is perfect! We all get to experience it together, it'll be so perfect!" and Crystal is like, "Yeah, unlike you two who can just waltz right in, Niko and I will have to buy tickets. Might as well get our money's worth and stick around after."

The day starts all fun and nothing really seems amiss until another person is nearly attacked while they're there, and this time it's a child: like the animal is literally beating at the enclosure divider so hard they crack it trying to attack, and fortunately no one ends up hurt but Charles and Edwin do their little signature look at each other because they know SOMETHING is going on.

The case becomes time-sensitive then, and high stakes, so they regroup somewhere quiet where the girls won't get weird looks and that's when they're approached by a shapeshifter deity who has been skulking about the zoo for years (maybe they used to be a God or something before being reborn) and they give good intel, and it'd be funny because you KNOW Charles' hackles are up after Port Townsend and the whole Cat King and Monty debacle, and he's misinterpreting everything this animal shifter does as flirting to the point that eventually the deity calls Charles out for it in a "I don't want your man" kind of way. That's like the B-Plot going on and it would be hilarious, and even Edwin would find that part a little funny/gratifying because he's not dumb and he's SEEN Charles' change in behavior lmao.

Anyway this is now turning into an outline for a fic jfc the TLDR of the rest is that they realize some asshole kid came into possession of some dark magic materials and has been coming to the zoo and practicing the spells on the animals, just being a mischievous shit who thought animals would be easier to start with than humans and wanting to see what they would do. The gang has to fight the little shit, but they're eventually able to get the book away from him and Crystal, the godsend that she is, wipes his memory.

Afterward, they DO actually explore the zoo for fun, and Edwin is transfixed and telling everyone all the facts he knows about the animals. When he doesn't know anything off the top of his head, he reads the displays out loud and jots down the best bits. Charles is absolutely delighted and apologizes for not bringing Edwin sooner, but Edwin is having none of that and they have one of their sweet "Edwin and Charles" domestic moments. They're interrupted by Crystal clearing her throat and Niko giggling, one eyebrow raised because the girls KNOW, okay? But they don't say anything and Charles just steps back (when did they get so close??) and he wraps an arm around Edwin's shoulders and leads the way to the next exhibit. The girls share a lunch of various little junk foods one would only indulge in at a place like the zoo, and all of them leave with a little souvenir (Niko's idea) that they picked out for each other (it ends up working out that Niko picks Crystal's, Charles picks Niko's, Crystal picks Edwin's, and Edwin picks Charles').

From that day forward the group decides to take the time to do at least 1 "Fun" day a month that isn't inspired by casework!

[marivoid]

Entry 31

Day 223

This is him. One of the only people that can help me find The Doctor. The Heavy-Body Builder.

One problem: The man is the definition of "Looks scary, is a wet cat of a man." He definitely TRIED to be intimidating, but he failed pretty miserably at it when I met him after being unconscious for 10 days.

(Yes I did a double take. I still can't believe I was out for THAT long)

Picture this: Me walking towards a towering city of collapsing buildings with dust filled air. Eyes focused on the small blinks of light that just barely escape the smog- I'm thinking that I've finally made it! Comparator City!

And then I get absolutely BODIED by a huge hunk of metal. I wish I were kidding. My poor spine! My arm! It got freaking CRUSHED! I was sent flying a decent few feet and ended up crashing into an old light pole (Again. OW.) All that I can remember happening next is that same hunk of metal approaching me and some guy jumping out of it. But then... Well. I was out like a light.

Managed to wake up (after what felt like) a few hours later and oh GOODNESS did it hurt. My back, my right side, my stump of an arm- It all hurt! But there was somebody in the very dim room with me. The same person that crawled out of that hunk of metal.

"Thank goodness you're awake!" He had said when I first gained consciousness. "I was worried that you wouldn't stabilize! You've been unconscious for over a week!"

"I've been WHAT?!" And of course, when I sat up I saw the damage the man had done to me. Machines were strapped all over my body, an IV drip sticking out of my arm (Where he found a clean needle I will not ask.) a whole heart rate monitor- He was stacked! But from the state of everything, he was telling me the truth. "You knocked me unconscious for a week?!"

"Well it's r-really been ten days-"

"TEN DAYS?!"

"Yes- Yes I know it sounds absolutely horrible but! But! You're recovering at an accelerated rate! You should be good to go in a few days? Maybe three? The experimental drug is working great for you!" He had been blabbering and talking so fast that I nearly missed that detail.

"Experimental- I'm sorry, EXPERIMENTAL DRUG?" Of course I had been outraged back then. (Even looking back now I'm still a bit ticked off at being used as a guinea pig for a drug that could have killed me, but hey! I'm alive now!) "You used an EXPERIMENTAL DRUG to heal me."

"Yes! And it worked!" He stepped away from me to grab my prosthetic arm. "And! And I managed to upgrade your arm! It got destroyed- Again I'm so sorry about that- but hey! At least now your map and compass aren't an extra item to carry around!"

"So you fixed the nerve sensors? The solar panels?"

"Uh- No. Unfortunately I don't have access to the receptors or the proper solar panels you need." He had explained while reattaching my arm. "But! But, it works a lot like mine!" He flashed his brass arm, glowing a soft red. "It's powered by redstone! Should last you a solid month before you need to recharge it!"

And there was the main problem. "How in the ever loving hell do I get this 'redstone' stuff? Heck, where could I even get it?"

"Easy! Me!" He flicked on a lever on the backside of my arm and it felt... Nice at the time. Sturdy. Like it wouldn't die on me when I needed it most. "I use the Parrot System, so as long as you can get mail through the Parrots you should be good!"

"... The who?"

You wouldn't believe me if I told you this man began to glow with embarrassment. I mean he LITERALLY glowed. Pointy ears and face turning a bright red that GLOWED.

"Right, uh- The parrots! They're one of the middle tier delivery birds! I'm friends with their Flight Master! I... I take it you have no idea who I'm talking about."

"Not a damn clue."

"First of all, watch your tongue. Second! That's okay! I should have enough in store that should last you about three months- But you really need to find the Flight Masters. They'll help you in the long run."

When he stopped his rambling I focused on the newly upgraded arm. It is always a weird sensation, flexing a limb that's not really there. But the small tug of metal fingers and steel plates listening to one's mind is even weirder. And I mean REALLY weird.

"Who... Exactly are these Flight Masters?" I managed to ask him after a few moments of silence. "How do you... Get under their wing?"

"That-" The man paused and the red glow only grew. "That was a horrible pun-" He has a really nice laugh. Small but breathless.

"But it works! I mean, they have to be Birds of a Feather to Fly together-"

"Stop! Stop, no!"

"When am I going to stop, huh?! Never!" And then I started to laugh. I think it was just my mind needing something to focus on other than the glaring new arm attached to my body.

"Goodness you may be worse than Gri-" His laughter died when he barely mentioned a name. I couldn't get all of it, but it must be the Flight Master.

"Worse than...?"

"Y-You will find out eventually." His tune changed from that point going forward.

He eventually gave me his name (Mumbo) and gave me a quick summary of the three Flight Masters.

The Canary: Flight Master of the small, yellow birds that linger around Comparator City. Used by the residents of said city. Apparently the easiest one to befriend.

The Parrot: Flight Master of the robotic parrots that fly around all over the Crashlands. They're more tricky to get a hold of as they have a whole database on who's a customer and who's not. Need to find the Parrot Flight Master in order to get on the list.

The Crow: Flight Master of the Murders. Every crow I have seen so far apparently belongs to Him. And apparently the only way to find him is a mystery to even Mumbo. All I can do is hope for the best with that one.

That was all the information he was willing to tell me. Apparently I struck a nerve by getting him to almost spill the name of the Parrot Flight Master. I'm still resting in this small room, letting myself recover from being plowed by that big old machine.

I even tried asking him what that THING was that he hit me with! But he just shook his head and said it was a prototype I shouldn't bother myself with.

Things are just getting really overwhelming now. So much information to process. How do I find the Canary? Or hell, the Parrot? I'm not even going to TOUCH the subject of the Crow. What about the Demon? Is he still around? Is he in Comparator City? Will I run out of the weird redstone dust before I find the Parrot?

So many questions.

Too little answers.

I think I'm just going to shut off my mind for a little bit.

MLW

G.U.I.D.E. 67

[spdrvyn]

do you think you'll be writing a part 3 to "i'll be lonely with you" ?? 👀 it's so good and i am invested

let's be lonely together — MIGUEL O'HARA

☆ there seems to be a spark growing between you and miguel, and you're forced to confront it when a heavy obstacle blocks your path.

minor angst. fluff. hurt/comfort. injuries. gn!reader. changed the formatting because it felt a little too clunky, hope you guys enjoy this one. school just started for me so i'll be getting a little busy T_T like the other "parts" in this, it can be read as stand alone.

You were absolutely mortified when you heard the news.

Miguel getting injured was a rare phenomenon that you'd only ever see in your nightmares, however the multiverse would always find a way to make those dreaded dreams of yours become a reality.

You'd refused to believe at first, standing as still as a mannequin once Jess had informed you, but that realization had finally sunk in. Miguel was hurt, and you were away while it happened.

From what you've gathered, he got impaled. It wasn't in any fatal areas, but it's a gut-twisting incident nonetheless. You shuddered just thinking of Miguel covered in blood, but to think that a spear, a sharp piece of metal, a blade piercing through and sticking out of Miguel's side left you unsettled.

Of course, your first instinct was to visit him. No second thoughts.

God, even as you paced hurriedly to the infirmary which was all the way across headquarters, your mind ran like a coding sequence. Trying to compute what to even say once you see him.

Being too forward and asking questions straight away might get him overwhelmed, he is frail and you certainly don't need to weigh down on him even more. Yet, you also want to show him that you care, but how do you do that without confessing your feelings for him?

Oh, right. Your feelings for him.

Cross your heart and hope to die, it started out as a small crush. Very miniscule, very minute, but who could blame you? You hadn't been around for as long as Peter B., Ben, let alone Jess, but he was more than okay with your company. You considered that to be a great achievement, but you celebrated too hard on your newfound friendship. Letting it fester in your heart, boiling for more.

You had tried to embrace delusion, you had tried to be content in the illusion of simply being friends, however guilt crept up on you at every single possibility. Maybe you could push down your feelings, stay in denial, but it would be a wasted effort.

It was the little things. The ghost of a smile that you would see forming on his lips whenever you talked about your interests or practically anything not work-related, the way that his eyes relaxed whenever you came into sight, how he ran his hand through his hair during the times it had fallen unkempt to fix himself up just for you.

Although it wasn't just you who noticed his tiny habits, Miguel was ever the observant type as well. During conversations, he'd occasionally interrupt you with a detail from a discussion that you two had three months ago. You wouldn't be surprised if he knew bullshit like your mother's maiden name.

This showed up in presents too. When you just happened to be hungry, Miguel had pulled out a small box, well as small as it could get when in his hands, and handed it you. Once you'd open it, you were met with the smell of your favorite fast food place.

Even with the snarky comments about how he could easily replicate it with the ingredients he had at home, there was no ignoring the absolutely smitten smile that he wore as he watched you eat. Content, happy, and most of all: full.

You'd missed it, all of it. The adrenaline in your veins raced like a runner on a track, hand shaky as you raised it to knock on the door of his medical room. Sweat gathered at your forehead, you held your breath as it threatened to collapse. You knew had to do this.

Three knocks was all you needed, but before you could even get to the third rap, Miguel's voice spoke from inside. "Come in," it was low, but not menacing like it usually was. He no longer spoke like he was commanding a room, getting your undivided attention, low from the bottom of his heart with every word serving a purpose.

No. Right now? He spoke like he'd fallen into the pavement, instead trying to divert your attention, low from the deep pit of shame and embarrassment that he dug himself into.

Once you'd entered, Miguel looked just as sad as you thought he'd looked. Even if he still adorned the suit that made him particularly stand out from every other spider-person running in and out of this place, the suit that served as his captain's hat, the freshly patched wounds shined through it all.

"Miguel," You spoke, voice hushed as you rushed to his side. He flinches when you slam the door shut behind you before you grip the railings of his 'hospital' bed. "What even happened?"

Your eyes ran over his body, observing how the molecular fabric of his suit glitched and stuttered, the same way a TV would look if you pressed your hand against the screen too hard.

You wanted to get a good look of his injuries, to check for any sign of what the full story was, but before you could do more, Miguel brings the covers over the entire lower half of his body, including the surface of his abdomen. Looking away shamefully.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," He grumbles and you could barely even hear it, his words tore your heart apart piece by piece. Did he not trust you? Were your efforts to see something more in him for naught? "Why are you here?"

"Why else do you think I'm here, Miguel?"

The truth was that you weren't even mad at him, just disappointed. Numbers were too finite to count the amount of times you've limped into Miguel's office with a brand new injury from a mission, the amount of times you've explained to him that you'd go straight to the infirmary after, the amount of times he's demanded that you sit down as he patches up your wounds while you report said mission to him. 

Yet he was this ashamed to act so vulnerable in front of you, while you've looked even weaker in the past? It made you think, it really did. "I feel like you owe me some explanation, don't you?" You insisted, but he just shook his head.

"There's more important things to attend to right now," He begins, and it makes the blood pumping in your heart freeze over. "It's really not that big of a deal, it'll pass in a day, I promise." Lies. All of it. 

The frigidity of his words seeped from your chest down to your very fingertips, the steel railing of his bed practically turning to ice as the realization sunk in. He didn't want you to see him like this. He didn't trust you enough to see him like this. 

But why?

You wondered. So you asked him. 

"I just don't get it." One of your hands lets go of bars that way you could smooth your hair, probably the only not messy part about you right now. "I thought I was doing everything right, and it's still not enough, is it?" 

Miguel's face falls, the tense pout that he wore like a jacket being ripped to shreds as you further rambled. "Why are you shutting me out like this? What did I do wrong?" Fragile, delicate, creaking and cracking, all while on the verge of breaking. 

Was it your voice? Your tears? Your composure? No, everything. It was as if he had you in a chokehold, a slight pressure, and you could shatter in an instant. Your head immediately tilted down, facing the floor. You prayed, prayed, and prayed that he wouldn't take notice of the crystalline drops that fell from your eyes. 

But Miguel can't even bring himself to say anything and he hates himself for it, don't get him wrong though, he has so many thoughts, he's had so many thoughts about you. He felt like such an idiot for not saying them to you before, but he'd feel like even more of an idiot if he said them right now. 

That was mostly the self-defense talking, just look at you. Sure, he was the dumbass injured on the hospital bed, but you were an entirely different kind of pitiful. The strength that he'd built over the past year, to hurdle obstacles both physically and mentally, to be a leader, yet he couldn't even undo the repression of the feelings that he so coldly locked away. 

He wanted to try though. For you.

"It's— it's not for the reasons you think, okay?" Miguel stuttered, how he wanted you to look up that way he could wipe your tears, hush and reassure you, but he couldn't. Not in this moment at least. "I'm an idiot, I really am."

Now, that made you redirect your attention. A rarity it was to witness the proclaimed genius, leader of hundreds of Spider-people, to call himself fucking stupid. Your eyes were dry, but the puffiness of your lids said all it needed to. 

Miguel's face scrunches up a little, he had to be vulnerable, it was the least of many things that he owed you. "I just think you're too good for me sometimes," He sighs, 

leaning back against the pillow behind him. Gazing distantly into the small corner of darkness in the room, "Not sometimes. A lot of the time. Everyday."

A wave of warmth crashes over your chest, coursing through your icy veins as Miguel further digs himself into this hole. A hole that he'd most likely die in. "You're just so— so you, you know?"

He denotes your perplexed face and sucks in a sharp breath, bringing a hand out to rub the wrinkles on his forehead. "Fuck, just give me a second to think." He huffs in annoyance, there were often times where Miguel would be able to explain the full extent of canon evemts with no breaks in between when it came to something as simple as saying I like like you, he was more than clueless.

"I've seen this place come to fruition ever since I could even begin to fathom multiverse travel," He starts, Miguel had normally upkept the habit of keeping eye contact with those he spoke with, but right now he wanted nothing more than to keep looking away from you. "A year. A whole year."

Miguel was smart, that he could say with confidence. He was able to build machines that allowed him access to scientific discoveries that nobody else could attain, the same machines that are the foundation of everything he's built. 

However, it all really boiled down to the people. Each individual that he's recruited is special, he can't deny that. Their origins are the same, maybe their suffering alike, but it comes down to the soul, the core of their being. There's a specialty in every Spider-person that he's walked by in these hallowed halls.

Even after all of that, he just couldn't comprehend it. After seeing all of them get knocked down by the cruel humor of the multiverse, only to get back up and to keep preserving, he hasn't made a single realconnection. 

"You come in only a few months ago and it seems like everybody knows your name, knows who you are, your smile." Miguel talked and talked and talked, like you weren't even in the room. Like how he did whenever he'd come back to his office from a mission, a mission with you and Lyla would beg him for the details. 

"Yet, even when there's so many better versions of Spider-Man out there, more charming and more... likeable," Finally, finally he turns his head back to face you, trying to fight back the shame that makes him want to just shut the hell up. 

"You chose me." How could he even call himself a genius after all of this?

One of Miguel's worst fears nowadays was you being in his place, possibly worse. Dead on the dark floor an alleyway in some distant dimension, that idea terrified him a lot. He almost thought he killed you himself when you only seemed to just— stare at him, lips slightly parted and the only reassurance he received that you were still with him in this realm was the slow rise and fall of your chest. 

If this was how you felt everytime you had a personal discussion with him, he completely understood if you'd leave this room hating his guts. As each second passes at a snail's pace, that pit of anxiousness grows and grows until—

"Miguel," It's a single word, his name, his calling; the way you say it though, it makes his heart drop below freezer temperature. "Is that really what you think of yourself?"

Huh?

"Here I thought that you were pissed at me this whole time," A dry, but short chuckle leaves your throat. The remnants of your sobs and previous cries still present in the way you spoke. "I don't hang around you just for some extra validation or because you're the boss, I stand you because I actually like you?"

What?

"Have you actually never considered that? That I wanted to know you past a work basis?" You almost find the utter shock on his face humorous if it weren't how ridiculous his mindset was, how stupid he truly was. 

"I mean— I didn't—" Whatever was left of your tears seemed to dry out watching him like this, tripping and falling over his words. The walls that he so desperately tried to build up crumbling before you into pieces, these pieces that you'd admire and care for. "Fuck, I'm no good at this."

"Yeah, I can see that." All the worries that you've held so close to your heart were slowly starting to be ebbed away by the what he'd just said, maybe you were afraid, but he was to. "I can do the rest of the talking now." 

Even if he didn't make a single movement, you could tell that he agreed with you. 

His heart thumps competing the speed of a race car as you place your hand on top of his, running your thumb smoothly across his bruised knuckles. You delight in the way that subtle dark red hue settles on his cheeks. It's working. 

"I really, really like you. I like the way your hair moves, I like the way I can take a peek at your fangs when you laugh, I like the way that you roll your eyes when someone says something really stupid," It's a drawn out ramble, one that Miguel could get absolutely drunk on and result in a hangover the next morning. 

"You're not better or worse than me, we both carry our own flaws, have our own struggles," Time seems to come to a standing point when you bring his scathed hand to your heart, where he can feel how fast it's beating under his fingertips. 

"But what really matters to me is that we help each other change, to improve. You've done so much for me after all this time and I want to do the same for you ten-fold," You suck in a sharp breath. "Possibly even more." 

Miguel clearly couldn't bring himself to words right now. How could he after everything you've just confessed? Any sentence after that would make him sound like a caveman and it's not like he could afford to look like any more of a bumbling idiot in front of you after all that. 

Instead, he opts for something else. Slowly but surely, he drags his hand up to grip onto your shoulder, pulling you closer. Gently but closer. 

He notices the way that your body tenses in anticipation, your breath quickening when his gaze flickers down to your lips. 

"May I?"

Yes, please.

There was a certain softness to the way that Miguel kissed you, in a way that you'd never expect would come from him. However, the grip that he has on your shoulder tightens and surely, there's a certain desperation to how he holds you. 

He wants this. He needs this. 

You want to lean in closer. Maybe even climb onto the bed and straddle his lap so that things can go further deeper, all of these thoughts racing through your head come to an abrupt stop when Miguel hisses in pain pulling back. 

Excitement quickly contorts into concern when he retracts his hand from you to rub the crook of his neck. You swore you could see blood sprinkling the gauze that covered the wound there.

"Shit, I'm so sorry. You should—" Before you could even finish apologizing, he recovers. Practically grabbing you with so much force that your body slightly clashes against the metal of his bed, the cold steel in contrast to the warmth of his touch. 

God, kissing you felt like running a marathon or scaling a building as high as the Effeil Tower, but did Miguel care? No, he didn't. He didn't give a shit if he'd be ripping a stitch or causing a blood vessel to pop. You were all that mattered to him now. 

"Don't you dare apologize." He grits through labored breaths before continuing to kiss you with a newfound hunger and how could you not listen? 

No matter how many bandages, lectures, and battles Miguel had to go through each passing day. The isolation that had consumed his heart in a tar nobody could break, you did. When Miguel was there to save the multiverse, most of all, you would be there to save him. 

And he was more than okay with that. 

want to see more? here's my masterlist

[ssruis]

At some point I really do need to talk about tsukasa + rui wrt to rui - who has had so many people leave him because his ideas were scary/dangerous even when he did everything to ensure people wouldn’t actually get hurt - going “I’m going to be too weird and he’s going to leave me so I should just get it over with now by being as insane as possible. Ok he’s still here what if I’m more insane. Ok he’s still here but surely he’ll leave if I’m even crazier. Ok he’s still here but THIS time (rinse and repeat).” I feel like a lot of why rui acted Like That in the beginning was because he was like “this guy is a liar there’s no way he’ll actually stick around *nobody* is ok with my stunts.” If everyone says you’re weird and your ideas are insane and will hurt people you might as well lean into that being your reputation so that nobody else will attempt to be your friend and then leave when you + your ideas are too much. Obviously a lot of this is unconscious but I think in the beginning it was at least a little deliberate.

He was 100% lying when he was like “if you touch this you’ll die” in the main story but I feel like that was his way of being like “see recruiting me was a bad idea. Oh well this is what I expected”. Which is also why he immediately is like “bye then ✌🏻” when tsukasa is like “I don’t want to die.” & then he’s shocked when tsukasa is like “ok fine let’s do that” -> he suggests a flame thrower and launching tsukasa 10 meters into the air -> tsukasa is still like “😰… but it will wow the audience so as a future star I must do it”

which is 100% the first time anyone has been insane enough to agree to what rui throws at them & he’s very obviously super cheesed by this

The reason I’m singling out tsukasa (besides the fact that I’m a ruikasa enjoyer) is that, unlike with emu/nene, 1) tsukasa promised to match his freak during their first interaction 2) when rui attempted to call his bluff tsukasa continued to be insane and agree to his ideas.

& then when rui “shows and theatre are my entire life and also the only way I know how to connect to people (even though that never works)” kamishiro leaves and refuses to return, Tsukasa elects to convey his true feelings/rediscovery of his original goal through a show based around their argument. Which is an absolutely unhinged thing to do, but it works because rui is also unhinged and shows are the language he speaks best.

I think after the main story rui’s continued attempts to find the point where he’d finally become Too Much for tsukasa were unconscious. The brain likes patterns and it’s natural to attempt to make any exceptions to a rule fit with what you’re used to.

Wonder Halloween is absolutely rui’s worst nightmare coming true, in that he constantly goes to such great lengths to ensure that what he does is safe and people still leave anyways - and now he’s finally found someone just as crazy as he is, a place he can be accepted, and Tsukasa gets hurt because one of rui’s inventions malfunctions. If people left rui when it *was* safe, why on earth would someone stay when they actually got hurt because of him? & then tsukasa doesn’t leave, but rui pulls back because there’s no way he’s getting a second chance if someone else gets hurt. I think tsukasa being mad at *himself* for getting hurt and only getting mad at rui for pulling back was Huge because rui is so used to being too much, and now tsukasa is going “I won’t accept anything less than your authentic self.” Also huge because it showcases that tsukasa is a fucking freak.

The constant roping tsukasa into antics at school is (imo) another part of that - ok so tsukasa is fine with all of this on the stage, but what about in front of all of his peers? Getting in trouble and being labeled as weird will be the deal breaker right? Even nene doesn’t want to be seen around him. Nope! Tsukasa actually is going to act like they’re glued at the hip at school. Tsukasa cares about his reputation, in that he doesn’t want to be labeled as a trouble maker, but he’s already known as a weirdo and doesn’t really care. He’ll huff and puff about Rui being irresponsible and tarnishing his reputation but he’s still not leaving. Rui will purposefully annoy him & tsukasa will react dramatically but continue to associate with him.

Pandemonium is essentially an event about their relationship, & I’m not going to go pull a bunch of quotes (I am keeping this post solidly under control. I am not going to go insane with the evidence. I am normal and in charge of my own destiny.) but since I have this quote on hand:

Rui: I had always thought that I could never properly understand everyone around me.

Rui: as I started doing shows at Wonder Stage with everyone, my way of thinking and feelings began to change.

Rui: now, I am able to understand and connect with someone without relying on shows, and I’ve come to value the beauty of laughing alongside others

Rui: that’s why — tsukasa-kun. Thank you for giving me the chance to change.

The reason why pandemonium is the turning point for their relationship is because they’re connecting outside of shows. The reason why rui specifically cites tsukasa as the reason he changed is because tsukasa brought him to wxs, repeatedly emphasized that he would not accept rui holding back, and stuck with him when any sane and reasonable person would have been like “I value not getting detention on the daily and not dying on stage.” I say that with love. Pandemonium shows that rui *can* connect to people and form relationships without playfully threatening bodily harm several times a day, but the rui + tsukasa relationship is special in that they’re both insane Together.

One specific thing I want to point out is in the card story where tsukasa joins the disciplinary committee (I’m not transcribing that/pulling quotes watch it yourself) because he’s tired of having a reputation as a trouble maker. The easiest way to clear his name would be to stop associating with Rui at school, but tsukasa instead goes “I’m going to be taking responsibility for him and watching him carefully”. ??? Ok? Freak. (Tsukasa Tenma voice) you are NOT getting rid of me.

Last thing to mention is that saki, upon first meeting rui, is like “He must keep my brother in check I’m glad he found someone to do shows with 🥰” (funniest possible first impression of the ruikasa dynamic). This post is rui focused (consequence of spending the past 24 hours rotating him in my mind) but I think that because rui is so crazy people often forget that tsukasa is also insane. Even saki, who he’s objectively more normal around, thinks he’s a freak.

They’re both show maniacs. Matching each others freak. Absolutely misery inducing to be around if you haven’t built up a tolerance. I think they’re neat. I hope they both explode. You understand.

[all-pacas]

okay so i've been trying to make sense of what drew cameron and chase together enough to get married. sex i get. they're friendly at work, they're attracted to one another, okay. but marriage? then i thought, hmmm. i wonder whether it was like a house&wilson situation in some ways where cameron, who's seen as the nice and caring one, can be mean sometimes without chase thinking the worst of her. i'm not sure it works as well on chase's end since we don't see her observing or commenting on the moments where chase shows he cares, but she knows he went to kutner's memorial despite not really knowing him, etc.

on the one level, i don't think it's that complicated: in their hearts, cameron and chase are very boring people who crave normalcy, and 'normal' couples get married after a couple years of dating. i'd argue they were very much not ready for marriage on one level, but they… were a pretty functional couple tbh. in a pure "this is the next step" way, it made sense they would get married.

cameron tends to define herself by her relationships and seek love; in a weird (slutty) way chase is the same, he is the neglected kid who craves and is terrified of connection. they're both also guarded people, and hurt people, who want similar things from a partner. and i think they did get things from the relationship.

chase actually alludes a couple of times to admiring cameron, which i can very much see: his fondest memory of her is her yelling at her father (i laaaaaaaugh), he angrily tells dibala she's a good person, she's also mountains of caring and affection and he is massively starved for both. even in their s1-2 friendship era, he's actually surprisingly prone to defending her ideas to house; i wouldn't call him protective of her exactly, but chase doesn't exert himself for a lot of people, and he's pretty consistent in sticking up for her. he's also unusually good at seeing through cameron and reading her like a book, which maybe isn't unique to chase but is probably unique to cameron: the last person to see through her was house on their date and he used it as a list of reasons to dump her; chase meanwhile calls her on her bullshit but always in a… positive context, i care about you, i'm not giving up on you, i want you.

cameron has the habit of cutting and running when she feels too vulnerable. foreman says she's afraid of commitment and he's 110% correct, but it's not the dating and loyalty and acting the part of a good girlfriend she struggles with; it's opening up and trusting others. cameron is terrified of loss, terrified of loss of control, struggles to make decisions, to commit. (although once she finally does she is ride or die for her cause) chase actually spends most of their relationship acting as a very reassuring figure for her: "i know you're acting this way due to your issues, and i am giving you space, but i need something from you" is essentially his answer in the itch, he calls her bluff with the sperm, and he is………remarkably forgiving of her in saviors lmao. it's the same thing he does in s3: he sees through her "i have no feelings for you" excuses and is willing to wait her out. cameron… needs that. she gets to have her freak out and push and be demanding and, yes, a little mean, a little unkind, and chase tolerates it. accepts it. i honestly think he was a huge source of support for her. she's afraid of loss, and she cannot accidentally drive chase away. you know?

i don't know that cameron was ever sitting around going "that chase, he's so nice" lol. although: they do get along, she is the least likely in the office to make fun of him (and usually only when he picks on her first -- her famous "you'd be done already" sperm sample line does only come after he's been joking about the patient fantasizing about her), she is definitely the least likely to accuse him of being dumb or useless. and like. cameron is a silly guy! she likes joking around, she likes messing with people a little, i don't think she was as drawn to chase's inner kindness as much as the fact they just can be silly together. she knows he cares about people, she's trusted him as a friend for a long time (never forget her going to chase with her romantic problems in s1), it's not like she doesn't like him. it's also not like they have no problems bickering or arguing, which i am going to frame as a positive: they're really not afraid of one another, they don't idealize one another. when chase annoys her, cameron lets him know. it doesn't have to be perfect!

obviously, they still had major problems. cameron really doesn't seem to have pegged onto the fact that chase is a hot mess of abandonment issues, and his freezing her out in s6 triggered her flee response (although, cameron worked very hard to stay with him, she was jumping through every hoop possible to handwave his murder), and chase's own avoidant habits mixed with her obliviousness can also lead to problems, as we saw in s5: when cameron avoids issues, he feels shut out and abandoned. when chase avoids issues, he stews and cameron putters on oblivious. the two just… have no idea how to communicate about Real Issues. but on a day to day basis? for the little things? i think they got along great. i think it was all smooth sailing until the moment it wasn't. they were always going to crash and burn and failmarriage, but it says something it took a literal political assassination to trigger the issues that tore them apart. they probably could have coasted on for years easily, because deep down they want to be happily married (with someone, not even necessarily one another even), you know?

the house and wilson parallel is interesting to consider, because even though chase is house's baby successor and cameron and wilson are often paired up even in the show… i think it works better the other way around. cameron and house are much more similar than they're given credit for, being driven and stubborn and filled with a sense of outrage and injustice (that they manifest in very different ways); they both want to pick people apart and understand them, to understand as a way of control. they both push people away and are afraid of loss. chase, meanwhile, falls handily into the role of cameron's top supporter, with what he gets out of the relationship sometimes a little unclear — but what he gets is normalcy, to "be himself", to open up to someone and trust them. he enables and supports her, and she sometimes struggles to reciprocate. something there for sure.

[candyskiez]

i would love to hear more of ur thoughts about ???%… specifically surrounding teru cause it’s been on my mind lately

OHOHOHOHO you've awoken the beast. I am so sorry. I will specify. I love Teru. I love Teru so much. This makes it sound like I don't like Teru. I really like Teru. I am writing about ???%'s thoughts. I am studying him under a microscope. None of this is how I personally feel about Teru. Do not kill me. Please do not kill me.

I'm admittedly biased towards plural mob because. System. But I did write this with both plural mob and ???% as the repressed parts of Mob, so feel free to read it as metaphorical or Guy In Mobs Brain.

So. I've been thinking a lot lately about how Teru strangling Mob could've easily been the first time he almost died. Like. I don't think he almost died in that incident when they were kids, and I think Reigen would not be nearly as relaxed on jobs if he thought Mob would die. We've seen how he is when Mob's in any amount of what he considers to be serious danger. So I feel like it's very, very important to remember that when talking about how ???% reacts to Teru. ???% does not react to the literal terrorists as much as he reacts to Teru, because Teru was the first and one of the most personal.

I say most personal because well. For the others it wasn't about him, it was about a goal. Teru was just...fighting him, in Mobs eyes. Teru was operating on his own insecurities. It wasn't some big conflict, it wasn't some epic anime fight, it was just about Teru's insecurities and need for Mob to not be a threat to him and to be Better than everyone else. It was just two kids fighting. I think a lot about why ???% holds onto this so so hard, and a few reasons I think he has are

1. The shit listed above

2. The fact that Mob wasn't doing anything to instigate, was in fact actively asking him to stop, doing ALL the "do not stick out, do no harm" shit that made Mob repress ???% so hard in the first place, and Teru still hurt him. Mob repressed him for no fucking reason because people would still hurt him anyway.

3. This very well could've been one of the few times ???% has came out at all in a long time. I'm not sure how often ???% would've gotten to come out since it seems for a while he just came out when Mob needed it/when Mob wasn't around to stop it. So like. First memory in years and it's this guy strangling you. Would leave a pretty big impression.

4. Teru never actually apologized. Like. WE know he's sorry. But Mob and ???%...didn't? Mob was willing to let it slide. But like...those repressed emotions are gonna go somewhere. Mob might not want to think about it, but that event was traumatic for everyone involved. They almost died and Teru had his entire world view torn apart, got thrown into the SKY, and had to piece everything together lol over again. Like. ???% depending on your view point is Mobs repressed emotions or someone that literally formed to hold his repressed memories (save me plural mob, save me). ???% admits in the manga he doesn't trust anyone. How many times did he feel unsafe around him and wasn't able to do anything, because Mob liked him? Because mob cared about him and knew he changed, so it'd be unfair to bring it up, and besides HES the one who really hurt Teru, so it's fine! It's fine. <- Boy who isn't fine. How much was ???% just waiting for Teru to turn around and attack them again?

5. This also leads into my next thought: lack of agency. Some of these points will be less applicable if you don't view him as plural, but I think some of them still definitely work if you think of him as Mob but to the left: he feels like he didn't get a say in whether not they'd be close with Teru, he feels like Teru just Decided they were friends and didn't even acknowledge what happened and now he can't mention it or ask if he's actually changed or if he's even sorry because then he'll be an asshole so he just HAS to be quiet regardless of how he feels about it. He feels like everyone just decided Teru was SO good now and didn't even ask him how HE felt about it. He feels like Teru's moved on and just FINE, like he didn't almost fucking die. Actually I think almost all of this works if you don't view him as plural. Yippee I'm not accidentally alienating anyone here.

6. No seriously. Teru didn't apologize. Did ???% almost come out a few times at being around Teru. Did Mob get scared by Teru reaching towards him and ???% started to surface. How many times.

Okay okay. Now onto confession arc. I'm thinking about why he acted the way he did and like. He wanted to hurt him so bad. And it's so damn raw. Like. Teru is repeating the lesson Mob taught him, genuinely trying to help, but from ???%'s perspective it feels like a fucking joke. Teru almost killed him. Teru acted not even that different for YEARS, and he gets a slap on the wrist. But ???% messes up once and he's punished, for years? But Teru doesn't even have to apologize? Teru doesn't even have to try to get forgiven? But ???% was dutifully silent for four years. And he's still hated. I feel like that was kind of the point where ???% became WAY more destructive which. Very interesting. He went from "I need to see Tsumobi" to "I want to hurt this person." Also I'm thinking about how strongly he reacted to being told it was for his own good, that Tsumobi shouldn't see him like this, to calm down like. Okay. There's no way he hasn't heard all of that a million times. Like obviously I love it from a plural perspective but I'm gonna go into ???% is an allegory for a sec. Being told that you need to mask for your own good, that they just totally have your best interests at heart and that's why they never want to hear you complain or look upset or even slightly lose control of yourself or act even slightly abnormal. Let alone the fact ???% believes HES the real Shigeo. In his eyes being told to calm down and act like Mob again is being told to stop existing. He's being told to calm down the first time in YEARS he's let any of this out. And like. Tsumobi shouldn't see you like this. In his mind that's being told "Tsumobi shouldn't see YOU. People shouldn't see you. You're not desirable. People don't want to look at you. Just go away. Just be normal. Just be quiet. Calm down. Stop making such a scene. Get a clue." And that's obviously not how Teru meant it and ???% is doing serious damage, but like. He's having a breakdown. He seems calm in the mind scape, but he is Not Fucking Calm. He's having a breakdown. He feels so goddamn rejected by everyone and he's chasing the one good memory he got to make as ???%, not Mob. Which like. God from an autism or a plural perspective hits me so fucking hard. I remember being a kid and clinging on way too hard to my only friend because she didn't mind me acting autistic and getting so so terrified when she started drifting away from me. Watching it just feels like watching kid me panic because the only person who doesn't hate him isn't hanging out with him anymore. Being plural and autistic means this show will kill you. Anyways. What I'm saying is Teru basically took a mallet to every single one of ???%'s buttons and he took that Personally.

I'm gonna can it here because if I don't I'll never shut up. But I love Teru and ???%'s dynamic. So much. I love it. I have so many more thoughts on it, plural and non plural. You have no idea how much it's paining me to can it here. This fucking show, man.

[jwritestuff]

bad days

cw: depression. that's it. that is the entire story. nothing graphic, just lots of comfort.

summary: you wake up having a bad mental health day, sam and dean are there to take care of you

an: wowww okay long time no see! i love a good hurt/comfort. as you guys know. things have been so busy lately, but in the new year things will die down and i'll be able to write more. ty for sticking w me :) u guys interacting makes me entire day ily

waking up, i feel like i'm being crushed by a thousand bricks. i can't get up. i sigh. i have accepted it's one of my bad days ™ . i close my eyes immediately in hopes of going back to sleep.

truthfully, i'm not tired. i'm wide awake. i bury myself in my comforter more. bring my stuffed animal to my face so i can feel their fur against my lips. i wish i could skip today.

i don't know what time it is, but after a while i hear a knock on my door. it's sam. (i know because he knocks lighter than dean. dean also barges in most of the time) i want to answer, but nothing comes out.

"hey, you up?" i hear my door creak open.

sam and dean have seen many bad days ™ , so they know how they start. sometimes, they can catch one coming before even i can. 

i just stare at the window. the closed window. i wonder if its sunny out. i assume sam sees my eyes open, because he keeps talking to me.

"hey." his voice softens. i feel the other side of my bed drop. "bad day?"

i can feel the tears start to form in my eyes. i nod, hoping he understands that talking isn't what i want to do at the moment.

"okay, that's okay." i can feel his worrying eyes on me. he looks like a sad puppy when he's worried. "do you need anything right now?"

i shake my head. i don't know anything right now. sam sighs. "okay. i'll go make you breakfast." he kisses my head.

breakfast is never a question on bad days. eating in general isn't a question. even if i have no appetite, dean and sam make sure i eat at least one meal and i drink a lot of water. some days these rules make me upset, but i know it's the right thing to do.

i go to grab my phone. my body hurts. where the fuck- oh. okay. it was underneath me. i check the time. 12:56pm. have i mentioned i hate waking up late? i am a morning person through and through. i feel so lazy when i wake up in the afternoon.

i sigh and turn off my phone in frustration. she's going back into the depths of my bed.

i hear a small knock. it's sam.

"hey." i hear him shuffle over to my side of the bed. he has to bend his knees a bit to get to my height. "made your favorite." i look at my plate with a small smile. they really are so sweet to me. tears form in my eyes (again) but before i can start crying, sam speaks up. "dean is making your coffee. a big one today. that cool?"

i look up at him. he still looks so concerned. i nod. i keep the smile on my face. i need him to relax. he grabs my remote. 

he loads up the office. he doesn't need to ask, they know my comfort shows by heart. once it's on, he turns to me.

"okay. food, water, coffee is coming, and the office. anything else i can do?" i start to open my mouth but he cuts me off. "oh! medicine. i'll get that." he does a little power walk out of my room.

time is still blurry, but it felt like seconds until dean came with my coffee. 

"i have your coffeeeee." he drags the last word out and shakes my coffee like i'm a dog and the coffee is my toy. incredibly accurate. he sits infront of where i'm sitting. "okay, how did i do?" he shoves the coffee into my hand. i take a sip, and dramatically smack my lips. 

"hmmm…" i (jokingly) ponder on his question. "it's a 10 out of 10. as per usual." now a real smile comes on my face.

"perfect! starbucks is missing out on me." then sam comes back.

"i have your meds." i look at him and say, "thank you, both of you." 

they both get up and start to leave. "wait." i say quietly. they both turn around (very urgently, may i add.) "stay?" my voice is so small. i hate asking for things.

they know this, so they come back into bed with me. i lean against dean's side. coffee in my hand, my favorite show. bad days aren't so bad when i have my favorite people right next to me.