#I need to watch it again soon myself
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me when time moves forward at a steady pace: how the fuck is it more than halfway through july already. this fuckers rapidly sprinting when im not looking huh
#i have so many things i need to do#before the semester starts again this fall#i need to work on comms. i need to work on a project due the end of the month. i want to do artfight. i want to make art for myself. i want#to do art studies. i want to start an alt drawing more suggestive stuff. i mean what who said that mustve been the wind#and thats just the things related to drawing.#i need to organize my room. i need to learn [redacted]. i want to cook more. i want to socialize more. i want to play games. i want to-#watch and read and listen to so many things#yet i have a finite amount of time to do everything#and half of a day is consumed by me just snoozing#and when i do work on something i feel like im Not Efficient Enough.#i cant just chill in vcs i need to be productive and draw too. and if i dont make significant progress then I Have Failed.#i cant just watch New Season of Show. thats Time Focused on One Singular Activity. gotta do multiple things at once or ill feel bad after#because i know that once the semester starts back up then im gonna be 90% less online#back to the depths of graphic design hell making infographics and powerpoints and brand identities#not having the time to draw anything furry or for myself for several months#anywho its 5am#i should go to sleep#sorry for the ramble im just. only now realizing how little time i have#when i wake up i have to really lock in on drawing and stuff#ive wasted so much time playing a game this past week#if i hadnt played it idve made so much more progress by now and im kicking myself so bad mentally now that im like mostly done w the game#gahhh#anywho yeah sorry for the ramble ill post more soon#sho.scramblin
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✨Introduction✨
Deciding to add some information as well as update this a bit as it’s a tad outdated! (Update part 9! Updating interests, recent art, fixing mistakes, and more!)
💜 Some starter info!
• I go by (in order of preference): Cro/Mossy.Paws (or just Mossy)/Marine/Ocean; and if I know you in real life, you can call me Sea!
• I am an Aceflux potential-lesbian! I also use Any pronouns!
Current Fandoms/interest’s list: Phighting!, Neon Genesis Evangelion, SOMA (2015), Transformers, The Mandela Catalogue, Vocaloid, The Magnus Archives, regretevator, lethal company, little nightmares, Hollow knight, rainworld, Spider-Man, Warrior cats, life series, PRESSURE, Dungeon Meshi, Parkour civilization, Just Shapes And Beats, ULTRAKILL, etc. (If you ask me or talk to me about any of these I will cry tears of joy /silly) (these aren’t listed from most to least interested also! I love all of these equally)
minor (14-17 age range)
Comms: Open for discord nitro and robux! (DM me here or at ^-Mossy.Paws-^ on discord for extra information!)
Asks: Open (read below for permissions)
Instagram: The_OceanCat
Twitter: Mossypawsss
Pinterest: Mossy.Paws (Important note: I rarely post to Pinterest, I only post on Pinterest to avoid my art getting stolen.)
Strawpage, just if you wanna send me any fun doodles and stuff :3!, it will be updated later! https://mossypawssspage.straw.page
Artfight link: https://artfight.net/~Mossy-Paw
Feel free to use my art for profiles and or banners! It’s a little preferred that you ask first via dm’s/comments/reblog’s but honestly I don’t mind :DD! Just make sure to credit me if you do! It’ll make my day for sure ^^!
I have tags I use now! :DD! Here they are
#Cro chatter (used mainly for when I’m just chatting/reblogging stuff/etc)
#Friend art (used when reblogging stuff by close friends)
#Phighting! Magnus Archives au (This Tag is used for my most recent Wip of a crossover Au or TMA x PHIGHTING! Currently on major hiatus as I must focus on other interests and personal life.)
Any art tags or fandom related tags explain themself ! I also use #Not my art a lot as well!
• I only have like one irl friend who follows me on here and most likely you have seen her harass me in my reblog’s or askbox,,, please ignore our shenanigans we are not normal /silly /love ya Rosa 💖
• An important note: I do not have a reblog only account, this is my only account, and its used for pretty much everything (My art, reblog’s, talking, etc, if you would prefer to only see art I recommend blocking the #Cro Chatter tag as I attach it to all of my askbox replies (minus requests)
‼️Commission Info:‼️
✨ My commission’s are OPEN!
• I take payment in form of Discord Nitro (NOT BASIC), and Robux!
• If interested, please dm me for prices, questions, and more! I’ll be sure to give you a full rundown of what I can draw, my rules, etc!
• Please figure out what you would like in full detail BEFORE contacting me. Any extras or whatnot that may be concerns/curiosities/or whatever though I am happy to answer questions or inquire about!
• If you are unsure but have a basic idea, I can also help you out with that as well!
My commission carrd: (Only covers prices for Robux comms!)
✨ My Askbox (OPEN)
✅Open ❌Closed ❎Tentative
✅/❎ Requests (This really just depends on what the ask is about, if it’s for my aus then it’s most likely a yes, if it’s just a misc art request or what not then it’s a 50/50). I am unfortunately pretty wrapped up in personal art most of the time, but I will try to answer an art request every once in awhile here.
❎/✅Talk to me
✅✅Ask about my Oc’s/Au’s/etc (always yes with this one I will be INCREDIBLY happy!)
✅Ask about my HCs
❌OC Requests (Usually no)
❄️ Read Before Asking
I'll delete asks I'm uncomfortable with.
NO nsfw or suggestive, you’ll be blocked and reported as I am a minor with no tolerance for that.
Requests will open and close as needed, and I will let you know when they open again!
I will try to get to every request, but it may take it a bit since I’m a full time student who has a life outside of art and social media lol
Some asks I may take longer to respond to than others (sorry to the poor soul who asked for a sleepy catshot doodle back in fucking DECEMBER 2023 you’ll get your catshot soon I swear 😭)
‼️Disclaimers
Do not steal, trace, copy, or claim my art to be yours, certain things like designs for canon characters and stuff I’m fine with you taking inspiration from (!!ASK FIRST!!), or using with credit (a small note, I am completely fine with you using my designs as long as you credit me! If anything, I appreciate it very much that people like them enough to do so :3!)
Proshippers, homo/transphobes, mean or generally gross people DNI‼️ it’s also preferred that if you have NSFW/highly suggestive stuff/or fetish content on your account that you don’t follow me, as I tend to check the profiles of people who follow me and I don’t want to see that (I would also prefer my parents do not see that if they were to ever check my account LOL)
Please don't make highly suggestive or NSFW comments towards me, my oc’s, or characters, you’ll be blocked if you do so; I am relatively alright with very minor and safe suggestive stuff from friends, but even then if it’s art related, please confirm if it’s alright with me. Very close friends get a slight pass with this as long as it’s in good fun and safe, but if pushed I will not tolerate it and will give you a warning.
I’m still learning how to use this website so please be polite and patient with me :’>
If you draw fanart of my OCs, AUs, or Headcanons, please tag me!! I absolutely love to see fanart and it makes my day! :DD!
‼️Important note: my blog will sometimes contain art that has blood, gore, violence, bright colors, horror media, etc. These WILL be put under spoiler tags though, but a lot of the older ones are not, so please be careful! (A note, I don’t tend to draw stuff like that too often unless you count my TMA au, so no need to worry about it too much!)‼️
⭐️ Extra information about me
• I am a young minor with diagnosed autism, adhd, and ocd, I also have slight social anxiety, so please, PLEASE be patient with me, as I can have trouble communicating, understanding things, or coming up with responses
• Never be afraid to approach me about anything, although I’m a bit nervous talking to new people, I adore making new friends, just please don’t be weird, if you make me outright uncomfortable I will most likely block you.
• For fanart and such, feel free to contact me about it if you need ideas, permissions, reference images, or need to know anything important!
• I’m a full time school student and can be relatively busy, I also have notifications off on all platforms, so I may be slow to respond if you dm me or try to contact me.
• I’m a huge nerd and absolutely love talking about my interests, but if I ever get too excited or overbearing, never be afraid to just tell me to take a chill pill or calm down, I can promise you I will not be angry! Communication is key with me since I can have issues understanding others, if I’m ever too much to handle, just say it! I’ll greatly appreciate it as it helps me to grow and be a better person ^^!
• If you talk to me about my interests I will be the happiest soul alive, I am INSANE about my hyperfixations and love love LOVEEEE talking about them
Here’s the link to my Carrd!
(it also includes commission rules and such!)
#blog intro#intro post#introducing myself#Art#my art#artists on tumblr#oc artwork#introduction#introductory post#pinned intro#pinned post#open commissions#commission#commission info#Update numba 9!#Once again updating this thing at like 1 in the morning lmfao#updated my hyperfixation list/fixed any small mistakes/changed up some stuff/etc etc!#Not the BIGGEST of updates but eh I’ve been needing this for a bit LMAO#Anyways guess who’s been getting into NGE lately. MEEEEEEE expect some art for that soon!#Most specifically I’m making a few EVA Shimeji’s (Kaworu will be posted first and then I’ll be doing Rei and Shinji Next)#Asuka may or may not be getting one it just depends on how much time I have#oh also I watched both venom movies and transformers one today so expect MAYBE some art for that but it’s a 50/50 and depends on my schedul#aka I really wanna draw symbiote Avery o’adam’s again…..#ANYWAYS it’s late on a school night I gotta go to sleep#NINIIIII
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i dont usually consider myself a cellbithead because if i compare the hours ive spent watching him to the hours ive spent watching mouse, tina, bagi, foolish, and roier, its nothing. but thats not because i dont spend a lot of time watching him. its because i spend an unreasonable amount of hours watching the others 😭i actually watch a lot of cellbit to be honest. his streams rule. i should post about him more
#So many mouse hours.#i just checked my watchtime earlier. dont worry about it#tina hours are also very high i think. but mouses streaming squedule makes it easy to get hundreds of hours and never realize#ill probably vodwatch cellbit meeting mouse again soon because it was really funny. and ill keep the chat closed because i love myself.#orrr ill vodwatch tchia. that game looked so cute when it came out i should watch him play it ..#AUGH so much to vodwatch i still need to catch up on my tina vods AUUUGHH#my posts#i just realized i probably have insane bagi hours because there was a period of time where i kept falling asleep to her streams
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Deep dive into a very minor, very niche Spider-Man topic time!
The subject…WHO IS THAT WOMAN??? 🤨
It’s not crucial to the plot, and it’s not a mind-blowing theory, I just like gathering up little background details and connecting them. :)
DISCLAIMER: While obviously the Spider-Man movies are inspired by and based on the comics, I treat the movies as their own thing because tbh...I am not reading all that. It’s Movie Universe Time!
So indeed the 2002 Spider-Man movie does have a lot of cool tidbits that give extra information on characters. Sometimes it’s very subtle, sometimes it’s more overt! So we begin our journey to discover the Mystery Woman here:
95% of the words are actual Character Lore(!), with only the last paragraph copy-pasted, but Today's Focus is one particular section at the bottom of the 2nd column:
"His personal life has not been nearly as successful as his business life. Married only once, to the artist Caroline Mulder, he was divorced after ten years of what was said to have been a singularly strained and unhappy [...]"
3 whole pieces of Mystery Woman information! Her name is Caroline Mulder, an artist ("the artist" implies she's well-known at least in NYC), and they were married for 10 years before divorcing. That gives the portraits in the mansion more context, very likely that Caroline painted them.
Caroline’s impact on the story is also stated by an executive producer in a behind the scenes book when discussing how characters are developed:
"Here's a man raising his son alone—there must be a tragic story with his wife. She must have left him! Does Harry remind him of her? Does he love his boy or hate him?"
Harry does have an interest in art like his mom. In Spider-Man 3 we see him painting a still life in his spare time, after post-traumatic amnesia ironically leaves him happier than ever before. He's forgotten many details of the negative things in his life and instead enjoys reliving childhood activities and memories. It's possible painting was a passion of his when he was younger, similar to how he discusses writing a play for MJ and playing basketball with Peter during high school, but gradually became disconnected from or was pressured to drop.
Knowing the marriage lasted for 10 years helps narrow down a few things, like that the divorce probably wasn't recent. But that’s assuming he was born during the time they were married, meaning Harry could have been 10 at most. Whether Caroline is still alive also isn't clear-cut...in the movie, at least. In the novelization for the 3rd movie, Peter confirms Harry is an orphan after Norman dies. The novelizations and movie details don't always line up 1:1, so it's left open imo. I feel like the paper would have mentioned her passing if she had died but...choose your own route of angst! (And wow would that add a whole new layer of awful to Norman’s misogynistic “advice” about women to Harry if he’s shit-talking his dead ex-wife.)
If Caroline is alive that opens a new batch of questions about where she went. Do they have any sort of shared custody situation? Doubtful, as Caroline seems to be totally cut out of the picture and only exists in the story via possessions. But if the marriage ended bitterly, and some years ago, why is her art and her collections present at all? Her portrait makes sense to keep, as it's revealed in the sequel to be the cover for a hidden safe.
(That's another fun symbol, hiding treasures behind a loved one's image. A place for safety and precious things, hidden from public view.) Other pieces of art seen around the house raise more questions about sentimentality. If Norman hated any reminder of his ex-wife, why keep her work? Why keep it for so long and have it displayed prominently?
I will not let this derail into A Norman Post (it would not end I could not stop) SO my personal take is that it’s probably a mixture of some longing for the past, but mostly spite. Keeping the art is a reminder that while he lost her, he also won. What was hers is now his (son included). Which may factor into why we don’t see Caroline involved with the family at all. Either she didn’t want to be, or she was prevented from doing so. Honestly it would not be surprising to cut all ties, as I do not think many would want to test their luck in a legal battle against a vindictive person who holds a massive amount of money and potential life-ruining influence.
I could also talk about Harry forever but in short I think these details make him more interesting. It's another angle as to why he seems so conflicted and avoidant about family issues, to the point he physically distances himself from them whenever possible. He might have had a strong connection with his mother, but it likely wasn't something he could talk about without Norman taking it as a personal betrayal. Still, he's surrounded by memories of her and keeps his own mementos nearby.
^ There's a photo of her in the apartment he and Peter share, the same image as the portrait (on the middle shelf to the left 🔍). Interestingly, like the portraits, the photos of his parents are kept apart. But here his mom is given more focus on a higher shelf.
Despite the work that went into backstory creation, multiple photographs, and a painted portrait, I haven’t been able to find who "played" the role of Caroline. It would be neat! But it’s also just cool to see how background details offer glimpses of a larger story if you want to look for them. :)
#it's spider-man season again in my brain but THIS time im making posts about it. watch out!!!#very 'i wrote this for myself but you can read it i guess' bc my google docs are too messy and I need a Tumblr Conspiracy Board post.#spider-man#harry osborn#norman osborn#do I tag caroline? caroline mulder?? are the people looking for her? 😭#anyway ummm I'm gonna watch these movies again soon and explode maybe with more thoughts 🥺👉👈
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i love dnd..i love playing heavy utility/support/backfield and i love having three to six attacks in a turn and an insane ac. at heart im a support player ill get my hands on whatever we're missing in a group
#looks at a druid a fighter and a bard fighter. okay cleric time.#i LOVE playing cleric turns out.#though abjuration wizard is still super super fun its a different flavor of support#it's not buffs it's 'i am going to transfer literally all that damage to myself and war caster style succeed my witchbolt concentration'#doing insane amounts of damage while taking damage (+ with temp hp and then just a lot of hp. im taking the tough feat as soon as possible)#aabria iyengar was right these abjuration wizards are craaaazy. but war domain clerics also fuck hard#my abj wiz is very much an experiment in 'what if someone who is not at all suited to this life tries to adapt as well as she can'#the point is that she isn't a cleric. do u understand. she's not a cleric and that's the point it's the. hbbbgbfhb. she's out here#functioning as a combat medic on some aasimar features + healing kits/potions + arcane ward. Look At Me#i also really enjoy playing nonreligious characters in these worlds where deities 100% exist not in a 'fuck the gods' way but in#a way somewhere between 'i'm all i need' and 'i called and no one answered' and 'may or may not go on an insane power hungry spiral and#try to get a touch of godhood' which is in part very due to my own agnostic and people-loving heart and 'haha what if i icarused this girl'#a resentful caution towards gods an immense respect towards religious companions and 'when your god isn't here to help. i will be'#anyway REACTION arcane ward you don't take damage im fine. next turn reaction shield ward's back up. the thing is.#she will drive her hp down. the ward isn't much like it goes past that temp hp. it's 14hp that shit goes down and carries to her hp#but it never drops. any leveled spell puts hp back into the ward. a 1st lvl shield puts it at 2hp and she can use it again#she is not suited for these conditions but my god it is fun to watch. i care her.#i explained that subclass feature to a player that's not in that campaign and said. like. yeah she can take damage. when her ward drops to#0 it carries to her. any leveled abj spell puts it back up. and she can use it and drive her hp down again.#do u understand what i am explaining to u! do you get it! she is and has always been a punching bag!#she was a very valuable asset to the army and the group she was drafted! into. because when she's there. people just don't fucking go down#aside from her. aside from her. AAAAH. she's so cool. she is very smart i am still riding the high of critting every turn w witchbolt and#reacting to ward a party member against a crit that would have dropped him by taking the hit herself. and she didn't break concentration#badass
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The difference isn't "people write fanfiction now and it's fundamentally unserious and unworthy to be Culture." People who break out the smelling salts and head to the fainting couch when they hear "Dante's Divine Comedy was fanfiction" are ignoring the point that cultural production is the same as it ever was: Any foundational cultural myth has hundreds to thousands of different versions that each reflect the experiences of contributors from different times and places. Look at Robin Hood. Look at King Arthur. (I'm picking those because they're the easy ones most Westerners know. What I'm saying is broadly applicable.)
What has changed is that corporations now own the majority of foundational cultural myths and leverage them as capital. That gives them carte blanche to claim that derived works are fundamentally lesser and subject to their authority, a claim most people accept uncritically. "Fanfiction" has always been going on as long as you recognize that "fans" are the folk in folklore. They receive something from a storyteller, they change it, and their versions drastically outnumber the so-called official version. For most of history, the folk have defined the grounding myths that underpin their social consensus. It was very difficult to nearly impossible to point back into history and say "this was the first, canonical version from the real author." In many cases, we still can't figure it out. And it's probable we never will, because narratives weren't (that kind of) capital for most of history.
This is just another way fences are being placed around the commons and we are all being robbed of something intrinsically human, the right to shape and share the collective semiotic space.
#non-pearl#self#text#I'm finally in my new home in Portland#I'll soon be blogging again#but there's somebody else doing this job faster and better than I ever did it#so I no longer worry that Pearl stuff won't be preserved unless I work on it myself ^.^#HOWEVER#I'm soon going to be starting a second blog#which will have me eating very very very very well#for many years to come#watch closely for someone even more controversial#misunderstood#and gay (arguably)#than Pearl#I have discovered no human is worthy of my service#but I can still derive the nutrients I need to grow#from the right kind of fiction
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Sounds like you've got a right bitch of a co-worker based on those post tags lol
ajfksdljf TT0TT Oh that was like my 3rd version of a post I made. I had to talk myself down and censor myself akljsdflkfa orz
But yes he really is. I cannot stress it enough that everyone hates his guts and he's created such a hostile work environment.
#silly asks#the junpei coworker#silly answers#god i hate him so much#he's not the first jackass i've had to work with but god he is the most recent#i should've called HR last night#i literally told him “do NOT fucking finish that sentence or train of thought”#and then he kept ALLUDING to what he wanted to say and i had to keep telling him to stfu#then he hid in the bathroom for 30 min (which pissed me off mORE because it meant he got a free 30 break and was paid for it)#all while i was left alone to wrangle a circus by myself#he was watching anime fyi...cause I could hear it when I had to go to the back room to get stuff#like we had a store meeting and my boss listed a bunch of stuff that needed to be minded#and like HALF of it was directed at junpei (he didn't look at him but WE ALL KNEW)#my boss even confirmed it when everyone else left#he only confirmed it because as soon as they left I turned to him an was like 'when is that mfer getting fired?????!"#my boss wants to fire him but HIS boss says he can't until they find a replacement#the bar is in hell rn#it's so bad that me and my other coworker made a bingo of shit he likes to pull on shift (HE'S THAT CONSISTENT)#*looks at sched* oh thank god I dont need to see him today or tomorrow-#WAIT NO I HAVE TO WORK WITH HIM THE ENTIRE CLOSE FRIDAY NOOOOO FUCK save tme this is gonan suck#i'm kinda hoping he gets “sick” again I'd rather work alone TT0TT#*inhales* it'll be fine it'lle be fine it'll be fine it'll be fine#zen zen centered i am zen...I'll listen to an audio book or video i'll be ok#i'll just ignore him like i've been doing TT0TT#silly vents#vents#irl bs
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Song of the Day: January 11
"It's Still Rock and Roll to Me" by Billy Joel
#song of the day#so late today. the sun'll be up pretty soon#I was very busy watching Duncan play Spyro and letting my brain thump around on spin cycle#I haven't written anything worth looking twice at since i was so sick in December and it's been worrying me a bit#but if my full day's preoccupation is anything to judge by I will be writing again quite soon#just in time too I did see Del tagged me in a WIP Wednesday. maybe by next Wednesday I will have progressed a work to share#anyway this is today's song because I'm trying to make sure I remember to get a copy of it#it played on the radio and Duncan and Lily and I all got to sing along (always so good to sing with my siblings)#and there were plenty of songs we sang all together (lots of Adele. good shit) but this one I don't have and I really enjoy singing#and every now and then (especially around the family) it plays and I think 'oh shit! I still need to get a copy of that onto my computer!'#and so far I've forgotten every time#but this time I'm making a particular note! I will remember it! if not this weekend then at the very very latest at the end of this year#when I make a big playlist of all the Songs of the Day and I hit Jan 11th and my search pulls up empty and I curse myself for a fool again#dear future-Alexis: you are welcome for the reminder!
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oh wow just saw flatmate messaged saying another friend passed smth on like oh okay. I didn't realise he went too u didn't say. in fact none of u said anything to me so that's great
#he lives hours away thats a lot of travel just for drinks#when she asked me she said it was her + one other person. going out for drinks in evening.#but clearly she took the day off work bc ghosts dont do laundry. so it was a whole day trip. so why tell me it was just drinks#unless she just wanted a good excuse for me not to come. okay 👍#i cant even make myself mad abt it like fair enough man. i get it.#and if last weekend is anything to go off she probably wont ask me at all in the future#well as long as they have fun it doesnt matter i guess. im tired of feeling like im just intruding in everyones lives#and everyone fucking lying like what u say doesnt line up with how u act i can tell its not real im not that fucking stupid#ive dealt with this so many times before average autistic experience im tired of naively believing ppl and then the rug being pulled#sorry for being the way i am and for wanting things and for trying to take up space i give up its not worth it anyway#at least this is giving me smth to feel shit abt instead of just formless malaise. makes it easier to deal with that way#anyway. just need to get my shit enough together to leave the house by 3 so i can pick up this stuff for work#and i can do most of my other chores tmr so thats fine#i hate how much fucking time i waste feeling awful. no wonder other ppl have time to watch n read n create n whatever so much more than me#half of my fucking life is spent in my head trying and failing to emotionally regulate im so so sick of it#i wish i never had to think a single thought again and maybe id be happy#jesus fucking christ. well i need to leave my room soon bc i need to pee im not depressed enough to piss in a bucket just yet#hope i never get to that stage again amen uni was pretty fucking dire#.vent#hate weekends so fucking much what a waste of free time
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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ughhh my stomach hurts so badly recently. i can't even get any work done. i mean... i'm starting to, but i still feel like i'm going to pass out any second. i've rested enough, so i should be fine at this point... right? :P
#i'll try working a bit now#i've watched enough anime today#i have a trip to prepare myself for again soon so#i need to get as much done as i can before i leave for a week again#alex rambles
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WIP DAY.
tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡
tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡
i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.
started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]
it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo
never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.
everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk
i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe
actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not
Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.
#tag games.#keep going to do picrews and just zoning out 😭 i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying)#i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day#or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words#are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i#still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to#sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just#like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how#i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then#disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your#creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about#being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually#filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm#rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not#i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted#the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ✨ on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but#also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or#leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well#because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations)#but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg
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hi sorry for not updating sooner but im gonna be on a lil mini hiatus. lifes been whack so ive been taking a few days to do fuck all and play MMO's while i process a lot of Things. i'm totally okay, just needing a lil rest for rn. miss y'all, love y'all, see y'all soon <3
#you ever sit and watch the sky for a while. and it always looks like the sky. but hours later its a vastly different color#you were looking at it the whole while and never noticed the slow change as it happened until it was verbatim#i feel like that in my brain rn. i didnt notice the shifting gradients#and im not in an awful place rn. but i do need a bit of introspection and like. being gentle to myself#how does that correlate to taking a break from shitposts? idk#im just trying to like. idk what im trying to do actually#but it seems to be helping! im doing better than i was#i just need a few more days of allowing myself to Feel Things before i become the Court Jester again#again im alright and ill see yall soon! hopefully ill have polls then
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#I’m so fucking stupid#got all excited bc we found a bag I thought fell out of the car and was lost but was actually stuck in husbands thick jacket#and it had a small baggie of nintendo games I thought I already sold for bills#we got an okay check this week not short and was like cool I can keep these enjoy play some of them for the first time#bc I sold every other physical game I have except my sons#I only have 3 I kept for sentimental reasons the rest physicals are my sons#mine are all digital on flash sales lol#NO JK#I shouldn’t have even considered#we forgot about that stupif dental appt Monday#I rescheduled but I just know it’ll come down to selling the games again#this is why I need to detach myself from games and only enjoy ones I already own#have to block the bgthree tag here soon it’s making me sad#I should watch a playthrough on YouTube#that’ll help maybe#sigh#hobbies that cost money suck#if I wasn’t making a YouTube of glittering funkos I have I’d sell my collection too#I just feel like I can’t have things#why bother I’ll need to sell it for bills eventually always anyways#only hobby I can have is digital art bc it’s free#and writing#but I suck at it so#vent post#tbd#sorry I am just depressed I think#flip switched the other day and I’m just#vacant
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me today 💤
#no i did not end up studying 🫣🤐🤥#the ibuprofen did help with the migraine but i still feel so drained like my energy tank is on 0 😞#and i'm tired of beating myself up for not constantly studying like why do i always have to neglect my health for school??#idk how other people do it bc i know others get way more done than me & have way more responsibilities but i just don't have that kind of..#energy i'm sorry it takes up all of my energy just to survive and exist in this world 😭#i feel like such an immature crybaby but once again that kafka quote comes to mind:#i could have built the pyramids with the effort it takes me to cling on to life and reason#also my mom recently pointed out to me that i have been studying for 21 years of my life & i just went shocked pikachu face 😯#like that is absolutely INSANE i've been in school since i was 6 years old it's honestly a miracle i didn't kms yet#and all of this studying for what??? you'd think i'd amount to smth but i'm an utter failure 🙃#literally haven't achieved anything the only things i got in my name are mental & physical health problems </3#well this is getting depressing let me stfu#so instead of studying i ended up watching sailor moon & dragon ball while eating chocolate covered strawberries <3#i actually wanted to take a nap but i just couldn't fall asleep even though i feel so exhausted#i need to survive 3 more weeks of exams before the easter holidays... i'm on my knees but i'm crawling...#i just need to pass everything... no need to have perfect grades just make it through these next 3 weeks alive#i just know i'm gonna have a breakdown soon & cry my eyes out bc it's all getting too much again 😮💨#☁️
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Thinking about the time I had a major grade assignment to make a robot, and I decided to make…. Wheatley. Just literally Wheatley. Because I remembered the crush I had on him when I was 8-10. And I turned it in and got like a 105 or something.
I’m also thinking about how I will never see my Wheatley submission again because MY TEACHER DIDNT TELL ME ALL MY SHIT WOULD BE LOST FOREVER BY THE NEW YEAR AND I SHOULD SAVE IT ON A PERSONAL DEVICE.
Goodbye shitty adobe Wheatley. May you float in the cloud eternally where I cannot reach you, almost exactly like you are in the game.
#portal#portal 2#wheatley#also after 8 years I finally bought and played the games#one time I was at my aunts house and my cousin had portal 2 and I was playing it because I was like HOLY SHIT THAT GAME#THE ONE I WATCHED SOMEONE PLAY AND BECAME OBSESSED WITH#I CAN PLAY IT MYSELF NOW#and my aunt came in and told me I need to stop playing it because it had a gun and it’s probably too violent#and I had been bitter ever since#so anyway it was on my bucket list#and I just bought it for less than a soda bottle#like fr I bought both games for less than 2 dollars#and now it’s consumed my every thoughts again#I’m getting my friends to play it#I’m talking about it constantly#I’m trying to set up the multiplayer game with my friend soon#I’m gonna convince my friends that don’t like video games to just watch me replay it#i love that fucking game fr#oh also yeah I lost a year worth of work#I’m super upset about it because I’m a massive hoarder#i like to keep all my projects as direct validation that I’ve improved#or as a challenge to do it again but better#and now I will never know how shitty my shitty Wheatley was and if I can make him better
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