#I tried to find a post with this clip but every one I saw the youtube video had been taken down Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[fitzselfships]

posting this just so I can put this in the plastiscene tag lol

[cocteaucherry]

nanami x f!reader

(little thing I wrote about Nanami’s wife being insecure after the birth of their daughter)

cws- f!reader, self doubt, body insecurity, bodily fluids, p in v (unprotected), oral f!receiving, lacatation kink, nipple play, 18+, light postpartum depression, body worship, creampie

You hated the way you looked.

You stared in the mirror analyzing and observing your post birth body, the way your stomach pudge began to droop, the abundance of stretch marks coating your sides, your breasts full and aching adding to your sheer discomfort.

You adored your daughter, loved her with every fiber of your being but when the lights turned off you were left alone with your thoughts and the body you were convinced was destroyed.

This didn’t go unnoticed by your darling husband of course, he’d watch you heavily over analyze yourself as you pulled on your pajamas for the night. The way you’d wince when your rough feeling shirt clipped the underside of your sensitive breasts.

Nanami wasn't dumb, the way your face filled with worry when he proposed you have a date night just the two of you but quickly made the excuse of not going through the trouble.

“Hey sweetheart, just put her down for the night.. well for a few hours.” He smirked, rubbing his tired eyes.

You were laid on the bed in an oversized purple nightgown, you could wear a trash bag and he’d still find you to be the most ravishing woman he’s ever seen.

“That’s great, let’s get some sleep while we still can.” You said with a small yawn as Nanami crawled on the bed next to you, his strong arms wrapped around your waist causing you to wince quietly.

“Did I do something?” Nanami asked gazing up at you through his eyelashes as he took your hand in his.

“Do..” you sighed, beginning to feel the onslaught of tears form, “D-Do you still find me attractive..?” The words came out as more of a quiet plea than a question.

Nanami stared at you with an astonished look, eyes blown wide as he gripped your hand a little tighter, “Sweetheart..”

Hearing him say your name softly made you begin to sob, “Y/N, why do you not know how beautiful you are?” He pressed kisses to your knuckles keeping eye contact with you.

“I-I don’t feel it anymore..” sniffles came from you as you tried to wipe your tears, “I’m bigger now.. I have more stretch marks, I feel and look tired all the time.. and my stupid boobs hurt,” a hurt chuckle came from you as you tilted your head back.

“Sweetie.. are you aware you just birthed our beautiful daughter a month ago?” Nanami smiled softly, sitting up to caress the side of your face, “Your body is still as beautiful and amazing as it was before.” His calloused thumb wiping the stray tears away.

“K-Kento-“

He shushed you quickly before placing a soft kiss on your chapped lips, “Let me show you how beautiful you are..”

All of a sudden Nanami’s hands lifted your soft nightgown above your aching tits, his mouth then began to leave messy wet kisses on your neck.

You let out soft mewls as his rough hands palmed and squeezed at your tender breasts, beads of soft white milk dribbling out.

Nanami smirked against your neck as he dragged his lips to your cleavage, “I never want you to forget why I fell in love with you,” he hummed wrapping his lips around one of the hardened buds, his tongue graced over the bud as the smooth milk dribbled out.

“K-Ken, fuckkk,” you moaned as your hands found home in his blonde hair, gripping at the roots. His hands worked at your breasts as his lips moved on to the other bud.

He pulled off your breasts with an audible pop! As his head moved to your inner thighs, “I’ll never stop loving you, and if I do shoot me dead angel.” Nanami grinned as he saw you smile lightly, he nipped at the inner corners of your thighs slowly moving towards your panty clad cunt.

Soft kisses were placed where your clit was covered, “Think I can make you squirt through your panties?” Nanami groaned as he inhaled your scent leaving kitten licks on the damp fabric.

“Ken, please don’t tease!” You squeaked as his fingers worked on your clothed clit, Nanami’s teeth nipped at your thighs as his hips grinded into the mattress below.

“Wan’ kiss you to know kiss how beautiful kiss you are,” Nanami looked gorgeous between your legs, hair tousled, pupils blown as his fingers worked delicately.

Your back arched as you felt his tongue ghost over your clit, a whine fell from your lips as Nanami wrapped his lips over your clit. “Let go for me angel..” he hummed as the coil snapped in your belly and your panties soaked. “Fuckk, such a good girl f’ me.”

He placed one last kiss on your thigh before he sat up and began to gently palm himself through his boxers, the whole image was erotic as precum stained his boxers.

“See what you do to me angel?” He gripped his hardened cock through the fabric, “Please give me me a chance to fuck you dumb tonight.”

“K-Ken fuck!” Moans fell from your mouth as your husband continued to pound into your weeping pussy,

“Sucking me in so good, shit,” Nanami grunted out as he lifted your leg onto his shoulder planting a small kiss on your ankle, “Never thrust forget how fucking beautiful thrust you are.” He groaned out feeling your gummy walls begin to contract around him.

“‘M gonna cum Ken!” Your toes curled as you felt him speed up his thrusts, “D-do it you got it baby,” his hand came to rub quick tight circles on your clit as your walls clamped around his cock causing him to still.

“Ohhh fuck! That’s my good girl,” his voice sounded raspy as he buried himself deeper into you spilling his seed.

Pants came from both of you as he leaned over to place multiple kisses on your forehead, there was a calm silence that followed after before it was broken by Nanami.

“I never want you to forget how much of a goddamn goddess you are,”

[willbyersabyss]

It's calling you...

El saw Will in the void when she opened the 1983 gate. He was the one calling to her the whole time.

Brenner told El that the demogorgon was calling her, but what if it wasn't the demogorgon at all... what if it was Will.

The lines are constantly blurred between the demogorgon and Will in s1. Will talks through the lights, the demogorgon comes through the wall. They follow the demogorgon's blood trail, they find Will instead. Will calls Joyce, the demogorgon intercepts. We can never really tell whether it's Will or the “demogorgon.” This blur could carry over to the opening of the gate.

Speaking of phone calls, almost every missed phone call in the show is related to Will in some way. When people try to reach him, they fail. Only when Will calls them does it go through.

I can't even give all of the examples because there are too many, but Will is always associated with phone calls. Will called Joyce in s1, Mike has had multiple missed calls to Will, Nancy tried calling Will in s3, etc. Will has to call, he has to reach out.

When Max calls the Byers, it doesn't just go to voicemail, it's busy. Someone is using the phone despite no one being there. That someone is Will. One of the first scenes we see is Will calling the police, but he doesn't call them, he calls... someone else. Whoever it was, they picked up. But there's no sound other than screeching. Who was screeching? We'll get to that in a bit...

El was called to. The "demogorgon" wanted her. So we have Will who is constantly associated with phone calls, but he's also mixed up with the demogorgon. Why? El answered his call.

The phone call Bob tells Joyce to let go is immediately followed by the lab's lights going haywire, then a door to the Upside Down opens for Will. They also cut to a faucet dripping and a clock going unusually fast. El's void is made of water and there's a clock ticking sound just before she opens the gate. These scenes parallel. The 1983 gate was opened for Will. He was calling out to her, just like the phone.

"All I needed was someone to open the door. And you did that for me without even realizing it." Ok Vecna I'm pretty sure El noticed the giant gate in the wall. So what didn't she realize? El didn't know Will was the one calling to her.

When Mike asked if El saw Will, she flipped the DnD board to the back. We assume she means the Upside Down, but what if that's not what she meant. What if she meant she saw him in the void? The back of the board is pitch black just like her void.

She places Will's character right next to the demogorgon. How does El know that Will is where the demogorgon is? She had to have seen him NEXT TO IT. This is the first time in the story where we see El sensing Will, so why would we assume she saw him in the UD before this point? She hasn't used her tracking power since she opened the gate. There's only one time she could have seen him. When she contacted the demogorgon, there might have been someone else there, lurking behind. Will!

When El puts Will over the walkie, Lucas says this. The name Blackburn means "black stream." The void is black and made of water. Could this be hinting at El tapping into the neighbor of the demogorgon in the void? Mike follows this with "Did that sound like a baby to you? That was Will." Hm that's interesting because we can actually hear Will in the void when El sees the demogorgon for the first time.

Yeah, that's right. You can hear him.

I can only add one video to this post so the number in the corner will align with the text accordingly!

I'm going to sound like a broken record because I've talked about this a few times already, but I think I finally put all the pieces together:

1 - When it cuts to the speaker, you can hear a faint voice come through. This sounds just like Will when he tells El to hurry. So we have a real "Did that sound like a demogorgon to you? That was Will!" moment. If you line up the hurry clip with the speaker video (not pictured), Will starts to disappear in Castle Byers at the exact time El breaks out of the void in the other clip. They're connected.

We don't actually see what's making the noises in the void the first round, we only hear it. What would the reason for this omission be?

I think the moment we see Will in the Upside Down Castle Byers is the beginning of everything. That's when the gate opened.

2 - The scream we hear when El opens the gate is the same scream that breaks Castle Byers. While this is just a demogorgon sound, it's interesting that they used the one that sounds the most human. Especially when this is the least common sound it makes. It has the same cadence and length in both clips!

I would also like to note that this sound has played when a demogorgon wasn’t directly seen. When Nancy emerges from the tree gate, we hear this weird scream too even though the demogorgon clearly wasn’t coming through with her. Gate, scream, invisible demogorgon.

The egg the demogorgon is eating when she touches it is about 20 feet away from Castle Byers. It can't be a coincidence that they placed them so close. They could've had Hopper come across that egg anywhere, why Castle Byers?

Dustin used an egg to test if the deprivation bath was ready. El then found Will in UD Castle Byers using this bath. Eggs are associated with the gate opening, they used an egg just before she finds Will, and THE egg is outside Castle Byers. Will being in Castle Byers is related to the gate opening.

So what if the scream Will hears was the same scream from the gate opening? We don't see a creature on the other side of the blast, just white fog, so can we be sure it was the monster opening the door? Maybe the force of El opening the gate is what broke it. When people disappear from the void, they leave behind the fog we see outside of Castle Byers after the blast. This fog doesn't usually appear in the UD.

Most people don't sense El when she reaches out to them in the void, but Will did. He was reaching out to her. When El opens the gate, Will was already in Castle Byers in the UD. There's time shenanigans here. Time doesn't really flow how it should in the void. El was able to see a pregnant Terry in there before she was swept into her memory loop. Time also is weird in the UD. It wouldn't be crazy for El to be able to open the mother gate after Will got kidnapped in a weird paradox way.

3 - Coming back to phone call weirdness for a second, Will hears screeching over the phone. This may be a stretch, but it kind of sounds like a distorted version of El's screams when she opens the gate? Then Will's phone call was interrupted by the creature unlatching the door. So when Will's call goes through, a door opens. And he's met with the answer to his most fateful call. He hears El screeching as she opens the gate because that was the result of him reaching out.

In their respective universes, both Will and the demogorgon destroy Castle Byers. So that's another mix up between the two. If Will really was the one calling out to El before she opened the gate, his destruction of Castle Byers is not only a physical representation of how he inadvertently destroyed it, but also an emotional representation. Will accidentally created his own kidnapping by asking El to open the gate. He created the trauma that led to his childhood destruction. The rod imagery at the end of this scene proves that.

Another possible reach, but we know that it was raining the night Castle Byers was built and the night Will destroyed it. If El's journey through the watery void also indirectly caused the destruction and creation of the UD Castle Byers, there's more water connections there. The UD isn't just mirroring visuals, but scenarios too.

When Hopper inspects the remains of Castle Byers, he finds a lion plushie. El was cuddling a lion plushie when Brenner told her she was going to make contact with whatever was calling her. The lion causes Hopper to flashback to Sara and El was in a flashback when we see her with her lion. So what if UD Castle Byers is a "flashback" to when the gate opened?

Just before UD Castle Byers was destroyed, Will was singing Should I Stay or Should I Go. While these were not the lines he was singing, the song makes references to time weirdness. "I'll be here till the end of time" implies that Will is stuck in a time loop when he's in the UD. This song being sung during this scene may hint at its significance in the time loop.

Then there's lines alluding to kneeling in a black void with something on your back. Interesting how the demogorgon was crouched down in the void when El touched its back.

Speaking of kneeling, El approaches Billy in the void the exact same way she does the demogorgon. Billy, who is literally named William. I'm telling you the Will demogorgon mix up never ends. Billy makes himself disappear the same way Will does in the void scene. Oh and when El is looking for the source in Billy's mindscape, the song "William" plays. Very subtle (sarcasm). Will is the source.

Ok but how did the gate open?

Will died.

In s4, we find out that gates can be created by killing people. We also find out that music can open gates in the mind. Interesting how both of those things happen to Will around the UD Castle Byers scene. Will was singing to himself, then he got taken to the library where he died.

The big boy gates all meet at that library where there's a giant clock. Will was the fifth and final sacrifice. But wait! The original gate opened at the lab, not the library. Perhaps Will died twice... once at Castle Byers for a split second, then again at the library. The Castle Byers death opened mother gate, but the library death had delayed effects.

Or Will didn't die twice and it was just a joint effort between El and Will.

El and Will have opened a gate together before. Every time El contacted Will up to this point, it didn't open a gate. Only when Will reached out himself did a gate open. We're right back to Will being the one calling out. He had to try for it to work.

Will was on the brink of death in Castle Byers. Maybe he wanted a gate to open right then and there so he could be saved. But time had different plans. So when Will called out to El in the void, she answered, and they opened the gate together, not knowing that this actually causes his suffering rather than heal it.

In s2 when they figure out that Will spelled out "close gate," the phone rings. They rip the phone off the wall. Another missed call associated with the gate. But this time, it was Will telling them to close it. He had to tell them to ignore the call. They destroy the call, they close the gate.

It's also possible that Will's call for help was manipulated by Vecna. Maybe Vecna showed El the demogorgon to hide his true intentions. Will has something Vecna needs to open the gate. Not to make everything about Will's mind theory, but if the UD is Will's mindscape, it could explain why Will’s call for help resulted in a gate. Max's call for help through music opened a gate to her mind. So is it really that far off to say that Will's did the same?

Alright lets get a run down of the timeline:

El reaches out to Will in Castle Byers, Will tells El to hurry. This aligns with the first call El hears in the void.

A bit later, El revisits the call, assuming it was the demogorgon. In a startled scramble, she accidentally makes contact with Will who was on the brink of death about 20 feet away. Their joint energy opens the gate and destroys Castle Byers.

This energy attracts whatever took Will to the library. Will is kidnapped once more and dies. This joins the gates in 1986?

We know that the scene of Will getting taken from Castle Byers to the library is the opening scene of s5. Both s3 and s4 begin with a gate opening. Wouldn't it be fitting for the s5 opener to be the gate that started it all?

[yournightmary]

more streamer! ellie hcs? or maybe college roommate! ellie pls🙏❤️

content warning:: modern!AU, that’s literally it

AN:: I wanted to combine those things but I actually have no idea how college works so… tried my best:) Really short but I had no idea what else to add.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ Ellie started streaming the first day of college. She thought that if already she plays video games might as well stream it and maybe make some money.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ She literally woke up in the morning, went to classes that she didn’t understand, then to her shitty work at some convenience store and then, when she was practically dead, she would stream.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ At first it was hard to get any viewers that would stay and actually watch, since she streamed around midnight- maybe even later. But someone posted a clip from her stream on tik tok and she kinda blew up? Like not really, but started getting enough money to quit her job.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ Definitely a faceless streamer- she was scared that someone from her classes would recognize her and make fun of her. And because she talked shit about almost everyone on campus (not dropping names, she’s not that stupid)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ She’s had a GIANT crush on you since the first day when she stumbled into you on campus. It was literally like a scene in a movie, your books fell to the ground and she helped you pick them up. But before she could introduce herself or do anything, you were already gone.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ Talks about you to her chat. Has like a stupid nickname for you (because she doesn’t know your real name). Literally tells them everything, where she saw you that day, what you were wearing- and if you smiled at her or something like that? Oh god, that’s all she’s yapping about on stream.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ One time she was sitting in class behind some random guy she didn’t know and she peeked over his shoulder, just because she was bored, only to see him watching some clips of her stream on tik tok. She actually went MIA and didn’t stream for a good week or two because she was too scared of being recognized.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ After that she became a lot more careful about what she’s saying on stream. Stopped talking about specific people (except you), about her classes and professors.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ Always gets so awkward and nervous when someone asks what she does for work. If she was too vague it sounded weird but if she was too specific people could find her account. So she chooses the first option and just says she does stuff in the internet (almost everyone who asked thought she does OF or something like that)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ A good few months passed before she finally got the balls to talk to you (after getting bullied by her chat). It all went well, surprisingly to her… until you asked if she’s a streamer. That girl literally had tears of anxiety in her eyes!! But you told her that you think she’s really funny and you watch her in your free time and she calmed down.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ She kinda forgot about the fact that she yaps about you every time she streams… you didn’t remind her for her own good. Definitely stopped mentioning you after she found out you watch her.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ Don’t worry, she went back to it once you started dating:)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ Invites you to sit with her when she streams, since she doesn’t have a face cam. Or maybe even streams some stupid multiplayer games with you.

I might make something special for halloween but no promises 😈

[reignpage]

i saw this one tiktok of this couple with 2 different aesthetics and they each wear a jewelry piece that matches the others aesthetic and i was wondering do any of the modern au guys wear a piece or has an item that symbolizes their gf?

(its so funny to imagine gojo bright ass with the most gothic bracelet on💀)

gojo wears a chastity belt whenever he misbehaves. IM KIDDING or am I? no gojo takes random shit from her, just whatever goes well with his outfit cause he likes to match her. so sometimes it's one of those cross necklaces, sometimes it's lace bracelets. he has a t shirt of Gomez and morticia, he wears that often. he also has a keyring he got Lego to make just for him, of a goth bride and a snowman with sunglasses. he got it as a joke and showed reader, reader laughed and really liked it. you can imagine his face, brightening impossibly and a grin growing till it hurts, and he never goes anywhere without it

geto's reader gave him a stuffed dragon. he has it on his desk in the office. geto also often uses her scrunchies since he forgets his own hair ties. also one day, he saw her scribbling absentmindedly on a post it note, some little symbol and he got it tattooed. didn't even really think about it. it's on his collarbone. he thought getting it on his heart is too cliche and cheesy and he's obvi too chic for that. reader kisses it right before she goes down on her knees. that always makes his cock harder

choso has a sketch of her he keeps in his wallet. they also swap rings pretty often. hers are small so it just about fits on his pinky but for an anniversary gift, reader went to a ring making workshop and made one for choso, they jokingly created their own logo or family crest (don't ask me what it looks like I am not an artsy person lol) so the ring has that on it. he keeps it on a chain cause its closest to his heart even tho it fits his fingers

toji has newspaper clippings of reader's work. he keeps them in his car. he has a picture of her sleeping on his chest on his lock screen. he gets her to leave a lipstick print on every new basketball, on his new jerseys and shit. he considers it lucky.

Nanami's reader gave him a personalised lab coat with their ship name embroidered on the chest. he loves it. she leaves boudoir pics of her in his pockets for him to find. she thinks it's funny. he tells her off but he always searches his pockets subconsciously. he has the whole cheesy boyfriend starter kit. picture of her on his desk, in his lock screen, in his wallet etc

sukuna still wears her hair tie. he never goes anywhere without it. he wears it underneath his Rolex. one time some guy pointed it out and tried to reach for it, he did not hesitate to break that guy's arm. he also kept her President of Eden's Student Council nameplate. he has it in his desk drawer. and he kept her diary, even has that crumpled piece of paper framed in their bedroom lol

[4ttack-ur-heart]

Jean Hc’s: Mf Whipped

Pairing: Jean x gn! reader modern au!

Warnings: none

Summary: Just jean not wanting to admit he’s a big softie when it comes to you.

Genre: fluff.

He’d never admit it to anyone, but Jean is the biggest softie when it comes to loving you.

Jean will absolutely hold your hand in public, kiss you, open the door for you, but he will never let anyone find out how much he’ll do for you.

Fuck, you wanna do a face mask at midnight? He’ll clip his hair back and have you apply it on him. You want to slow dance with him after watching a romcom movie? He’s there with his phone blasting pretty music. You need to talk to him after a bad day? Jean will leave his friends to make sure you’re taken care of.

He’s a simp.

But he tries to hide it.

It’s so funny when you catch on.

One day, you both were sitting at the park, hidden away from public eyes. Flowers littered around you both and you absentmindedly starting to pluck a few.

Jeans head was laying in your lap, arms crossed behind his head. His view was gazing at the clouds slowly passing by along, eyes darting to your face every few minutes with a longing smile.

“What are you doing?” He asked now with his eyes closed. He could feel your fingertips brushing along his hair every few moments and an extra weight of something being placed on him.

“Nothing, don’t move.”

Jean chuckled at your words, obviously amused in what you were doing.

After placing the last flower in his hair, you quickly snapped a picture on your phone before he noticed something was up.

“Can I look now?”

“Ugh, fine but don’t sit up.” You told him and he grabbed his phone and switched on his camera. A small smile gracing his features when he saw various amounts of little white daisies and yellow dandelions placed in his hair.

“You look so pretty.” You gushed and leaned down to kiss him.

Jean blushed a little and you had to resist the urge to tease him. His usual ‘strong man’ barrier always broke when it was just you two alone.

Jean poked at daisies before plucking one out of his hair and gently brushing your hair back and placing it behind your ear.

“There, now we both look pretty.”

————

A few days later, you were on the couch scrolling through your Instagram feed, liking your friends’ posts and commenting on a few.

Your notifications were piling in since you just posted a few pictures of some selfies you took, but the last one was something special.

“(Y/n)!” Jeans voice called through the apartment.

“Yeah?” You innocently looked up at him when he entered the room.

“Care to explain this, doll?”

Jean shoved his phone in your face and you had to blink a few times to clearly see.

A smirk grew on your face when you realized he found your special picture on the post you shared. Staring at the platform more, you realized Eren had reposted your post with the picture of Jean you had taken at the park.

The picture showed him laying down on your lap, his eyes closed and his lips were slightly parted. The little flowers in his hair were vibrant against his ashen brown locks and a small pink dust coated his cheeks from the sun. You also didn’t forget to capture the way his muscles were showing through his shirt as his arms were flexed behind his head.

You could see Eren had minimized your post on his story, the phrase ‘mf whipped fr 🤝’ in blocky letter captioned underneath the post.

A sudden laugh caught Jean off guard as he watched your reaction. You knew Eren supported your relationship to the max, but that doesn’t mean he still can’t tease Jean about it.

Looking at his face, Jean was trying to hide his amused face under a glare.

“Relax, my little flower.” You cooed in a baby voice and gently squeezed his face under your palms. “I was just showing the world how much I love you…unless you’d rather me take it down?” Your eyebrow rose as you pouted. You knew he’d never ask you to that.

He let out a soft sigh and locked his phone. “No, don’t take it down. But you owe me! I need to post another video of me working out.”

You playfully rolled your eyes as Jeans thoughts were rambling out loud.

“I’ll invite Eren to work out with me, yeah. Then when we post the video, it’ll be obvious I’m bigger than him. God damn, I’m a genius.”

Standing up, you gave him a soft peck on the cheek before walking to the bathroom.

“I’m gonna do a face mask right now, babe.”

“Wait for me!”

[mikaleialt]

Ride It!| Bada Lee

Bada Lee x Reader

Fluff, suggestive, smut, drabble

Synopsis: In a random instagram live, your newly found fans after SWF 2, started asking you random questions about what do you think of each team leaders. For a quick background, you are one of the team leaders in SWF 2, but sadly your team got eliminated after the Crew Battle Mission, after getting defeated by Mannequeen on the elimination round along with Wolf'lo and Lady Bounce.

C/w: based off of this post by @westwoodsvivi. Honestly I just wrote this to finally end my writer's block as I have been gone for more than a month now.

Street Woman Fighter 2 is finally over and although your team didn't make it to the top 4, you still continued to support the other teams until the end, especially when the winner of SWF 2 is the team leaded by your girlfriend.

And now here you are, preparing for the On the Stage concert. All of the teams are in one place again, practicing the dance routines they've performed during SWF 2.

You were finally on break and some of the dancers of each team started goofing around with each other, filming tiktok dances together with Redy who seem to just stand in the background of every video. You laugh at how Redy looks like a lost child standing behind Che Che, Debby, and Yoonji as the trio dance.

Bored in your own world you decided to set up your phone as you sat in the corner of the studio, and finally hit the 'Go live' button after getting permission from the staffs who told you that it is fine as long as you don't spoil anything about the concert.

Viewers immediately flooded the comments and you tried your best to greet everyone. The viewer count goes up by the second.

"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii 🤎"

"OMG Y/NNNNN 🥹"

"Hi from 🇦🇱"

"Ano ba tayo, Y/n 😩 (what are we, Y/n)"

You read each comments from fans greeting you, to trying to make you say a phrase in their language, to asking you how you have been.

"I'm doing good, as you all know, we're preparing for the upcoming concert. We're actually on a break right now and everyone is doing their own thing. And here I am, in my own space." You picked up your camera as you show the empty dance practice room that you are in right now.

"Honestly, I got bored during our break so I went live" you chuckled. "Everyone has been really busy these days, and I miss talking to you guys." You sent the viewers a flying kiss, which made the comment section go wild.

"AAAAAAHHHH"

"EXCUSE ME⁉️⁉️"

"THAT KISS WAS DEFINITELY FOR ME"

You immediately got embarrassed as you are not used to giving out fan service or acting cute for other people. You give it a few seconds for the fans to finally calm down once again.

"Hmm, there's still much time until we go back to practicing again, what should I do? What do you guys think?" You read the comments once again as each viewers suggest something for you to do. After a few more minutes you finally settled to do a Q and A.

"What is today's TMI?" You read one of the comments as you ponder to yourself what could you share to your viewers . "Hmm, today I arrived at the studio crying because I was watching that one video of that kid from My Golden Kid." You giggled. "It was a very sad clip, I was crying the whole time while I was on my way here."

A few more question pops up after that and you tried your best to answer each one. "Who do you find attractive among the SWF 2 leaders?" You read another question.

"Me, of course" you flip your hair sassily before laughing to yourself. "No, in all honesty, it's gotta be Kirsten or Bada. They're both really charismatic." You answered.

"What part of them do you find attractive?" You read the follow up question.

"For Kirsten, it's probably her hips. I'm not gonna lie, when I saw Kirsten dance for the first time, my whole attention was on her hips..." you shyly admit to your viewers.

"...as for Bada... I really like her nose" you said without any explanation as memories from a few nights ago came back to you.

♡⑅*˖•. ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .•˖*⑅♡

"A-ahh Bada" your breath staggers as you move your hips, grinding your wet core on your girlfriend's face.

It was the night after BEBE won SWF 2 and you told Bada that you'll do whatever she asks for if they win, which leads you to the situation that you are in right now.

Bada's only wish from you as a reward is for you to sit on her face as she eats you out, which you did without any hesitation.

"That's it ride my face, baby" Bada speak against your pussy as she continues to eat it like a starved man.

You couldn't help but moan louder as your clit presses on the tip of Bada's nose. You continue to grind your puffy clit against it, each movement makes you shiver, as your girlfriend's tongue fucks your cunt relentlessly.

"I-I'm gonna—hah" your eyes roll to the back of your head as the pleasure in your stomach builds up. "Yeah that's it, come for me baby" Bada said as she continues to eat you out.

Soon, a loud moan escapes from your lips as you finally had your release. Your legs were shaking as Bada continues to lap up your juices, each movement of her head under you, the tip of her nose touches your clit.

"So good to me baby, can you give me one more?" Bada sucks on your clit before diving back again into fucking your cunt with her tongue...

♡⑅*˖•. ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .•˖*⑅♡

"Ok let's get back to work" Funky Y announces as she enters the room which snaps you back to reality.

"So yeah anyway, that would be all. See you at the On the Stage concert everyone. Byeeee" You immediately pressed the 'End live' button, before putting down your phone.

"Oh Y/n, so you're here all along" The rest of the dancers enter the room one by one.

"Unnie, why is your face so red?" Sowoen pointed out your face. To which made you turn red even more. The whole time you are reminiscing about that night, you were blushing like crazy.

"It's nothing, I was just feeling hot." You excused yourself, but little do you know, a certain someone was actually watching your live earlier.

Bada approached you as she whispers something to your ears.

"So you like me nose huh, why don't you ride my face again once we got home?"

A/n: it's been a while omg, I missed writing. I'm slowly regaining my motivation to write again finally!!! I hope you like it, sorry if its not as good as you guys thought it would be. This is just a quick drabble to finally break my writer's block, I did not proofread this.

[wingedblooms]

Blooming dreams

Gardeners, I think, dream bigger dreams than emperors. (Mary Cantwell)

This meta is a continuation of my thoughts over the years, but especially the ones expressed in the following links. Please be aware that there are major hofas spoilers in this post and avoid if needed.

Secret, lovely seer / Forbidden secrets

A rose in the thorns / The flower of life

Seer, wise woman, witch / Three sisters witches / Starborn light

Since my first meta, I have been fixated on Elain’s connection to the Mother, Cauldron, and Fate (let's call her Wyrd) and her potential powers, including sight, shapeshifting, and healing. They are all related when you’re talking about Wyrd, though I am not here to say what I have written is what Sarah has planned. This post is more a love letter to Sarah’s mystical and earthy depiction of Elain and what I would love to see in her story based on all the seeds she’s planted (and if there is an actual magical bean seed involved, I’ll love her all the more for it). Thanks especially to @psychologynerd for previewing this fever dream of a post.

I gazed again at that sad, dark house—the place that had been a prison. Elain had said she missed it, and I wondered what she saw when she looked at the cottage. If she beheld not a prison but a shelter—a shelter from a world that had possessed so little good, but she tried to find it anyway, even if it had seemed foolish and useless to me. She had looked at that cottage with hope; I had looked at it with nothing but hatred. And I knew which one of us had been stronger. (acotar)

From the first book in the series, Feyre recognizes that Elain views things differently. She views things that are sad and dark with hope, and that’s why Sarah has called her the quiet dreamer. It’s a strength that sets her apart. I like to think that’s also what the Cauldron—though warped by the Asteri—saw when she was forced into its womb. 

The Cauldron seemed to realize what she’d done, too, as his head thumped onto the mossy ground. That Elain…Elain had defended this thief. Elain, who it had gifted with such powers, found her so lovely it had wanted to give her something…It would not harm Elain, even in its hunt to reclaim what had been taken. (acowar)

@silverlinedeyes and I wondered if it may have recognized Elain as a kindred spirit, some echo of its Mother form. A creator, life-bringer. Were the waters of the Cauldron more like Silba’s Womb—a darkness of creation, sweet and lovely—when Elain was immersed? Or is it possible that when Elain entered its dark womb she viewed it differently than her sister? Did she see a wounded creator to help rather than an enemy to combat? 

Elain’s hopeful perspective might be why it gifted her with such powers, powers that we know allow her to see differently than others. And since it may have enhanced her unique perception, I wonder if it also enhanced her ability to bring life and beauty into the world. As a gardener, Elain is well acquainted with the task of envisioning her garden and then getting her hands dirty to make that vision a reality. Dream and reality are entwined in gardening, just like her Sight.

“She loves to garden. Always loved growing things. Even when we were destitute, she managed to tend a little garden in the warmer months. And when–when our fortune returned, she took to tending and planting the most beautiful gardens you’ve ever seen. Even in Prythian. It drove the servants mad, because they were supposed to do the work and ladies were only meant to clip a rose here and there, but Elain would put on a hat and gloves and kneel in the dirt, weeding. She acted like a purebred lady in every regard but that.” (acowar)  If Elain was a blooming flower in this army camp, then Nesta…she was a freshly forged sword, waiting to draw blood. [...] Nesta stared them all down. Elain kept her focus on the dry, rocky ground. (acowar)  She had no mental shields, no barriers. The gates to her mind…Solid iron, covered in vines of flowers–or it would have been. The blossoms were all sealed, sleeping buds tucked into tangles of leaves and thorns. (acowar) If Elain’s mental gates were those of a sleeping garden, Nesta’s…They belonged to an ancient fortress, sharp and brutal. The sort I imagined they once impaled people upon. (acowar)  “What now?” Elain mused, at last answering my question from moments ago as her attention drifted to the windows facing the sunny street. That smile grew, bright enough that it lit up even Azriel’s shadows across the room. “I would like to build a garden,” she declared. “After all of this…I think the world needs more gardens.” (acowar) 

As we saw in acosf for Nesta—a new type of warrior who forges magical swords and retrieves the Harp from an ancient fortress (the Prison) connected to the Starborn—these descriptions are clearly meant to foreshadow what occurs in the sisters’ stories. While Nesta is a freshly forged sword, Elain is blooming life in Illyria. And what do we learn in hofas? 

“The Cauldron,” Nesta said hours later, pointing to yet another carving on the wall. It indeed showed a giant cauldron, perched atop what seemed to be a barren mountain peak with three stars above it. Azriel halted, angling his head. “That’s Ramiel.” At Bryce’s questioning look, he explained, “A mountain sacred to the Illyrians.”  Bryce nodded to the carving. “What’s the big deal about a cauldron?” [...]  “All life came and comes from it,” Azriel said with something like reverence. “The Mother poured it into this world, and from it, life blossomed.” (hofas)

We receive confirmation that the Cauldron is associated with the sister peaks, as I suspected, and Ramiel in particular as @merymoonbeam has previously suggested. 

Before Bryce could contemplate this further, Silene went on, But my mother and father knew they needed the most valuable of all the Daglan’s weapons. Bryce tensed. This had to be the thing that had given them the edge— The snows around Ramiel parted, revealing a massive bowl of iron at the foot of the monolith. Even through the vision, its presence leaked into the world, a heavy, ominous thing. “The Cauldron,” Nesta said, dread lacing her voice. […] “The Cauldron was of our world, our heritage. But upon arriving here, the Daglan captured it and used their powers to warp it. To turn it from what it had been into something deadlier. No longer just a tool of creation, but of destruction. And the horrors it produced…those, too, my parents would turn to their advantage.”  [...] “They fought the Daglan and won, she went on. Using the Daglan’s own weapons, they destroyed them. Yet my parents did not think to learn the Daglan’s other secrets—they were too weary, too eager to leave the past behind.” (hofas) 

In Forbidden secrets, I theorized that Elain’s powers might allow her to map the secrets of the land in order to heal it and @offtorivendell discussed magical mounds in her theory on reviving dusk. It seems like the Asteri did indeed leave secrets behind, which might explain why certain places continue to be forbidden and barren. But we are given hope that they do not need to remain that way. In hofas, Bryce wakes and wields the land belonging to her Starborn ancestors on the Prison island:

And precisely as Theia had gifted her own power to Silene … perhaps Silene had in turn left that same power here, to be claimed by a future scion. One by one, rapid as shooting stars, the thoughts raced through Bryce. More on instinct than anything else, she dropped to her knees and slammed her hand atop the eight-pointed star. Bryce reached with her mind, through layers of rock and earth—and there it was. Slumbering beneath her. Not firstlight, not as she knew it on Midgard—but raw Fae power from a time before the Drop. The power ascended toward her through the stone, like a glimmering arrow fired into the dark— [...] Like a small sun emerging from the stone itself, a ball of light burst from the floor. A star, twin to the one in Bryce’s chest. Her starlight at last awoke again, as if reaching with shining fingers for that star hovering inches away. With trembling hands, Bryce guided the star to the one gleaming on her chest. Into her body. White light erupted everywhere. Power, uncut and ancient, scorched through her veins. The hair on her head rose. Debris floated upward. She was everywhere and nowhere. She was the evening star and the last rays of color before the dark. Azriel had nearly reached the tunnel. Another flap of his wings and he’d be swallowed by its dark mouth. But at a mere thought from Bryce, stalactites and stalagmites formed, closing in on him. The room became a wolf, its jaws snapping for the winged warrior— The rock had moved for her, as it had for Silene. “Stop him,” she said in a voice that was more like her father’s than anything she’d ever heard come out of her mouth. Azriel swept for the tunnel archway—and slammed into a wall of stone. The exit had sealed. Slowly, he turned, wings rustling. Blood trickled out of his nose from his face-first collision with the rock now in his path. He spread his wings, bracing for a fight. The mountain shook, the chamber with it. Debris fell from the ceiling. Walls began shifting, rock groaning against rock. As if the place this had once been was fighting to emerge from the stone. [...] From far away, she could sense it: the things lurking within the mountain, her mountain. Twisted, wretched creatures. Some had been here since Silene had trapped them. Had been contemplating their escape and revenge all this time. She’d let them out if she restored the mountain to its former glory. And in that moment, the mountain—the island—spoke to her. Alone. It was so alone—it had been waiting all this time. Cold and adrift in this thrashing gray sea. If she could reach out, if she could open her heart to it…it might sing again. Awaken. There was a beating, vibrant heart locked away, far beneath them. If she freed it, the land would rise from its slumber, and such wonders would spring again from its earth— (hofas)

The mountain–Bryce’s mountain–speaks to her, asking her to open her heart to it so it can finally rise from its slumber. Cue internal screaming, my friends, because this language was intentional and it might finally explain Elain’s conversation in this scene: 

She looked away—toward the windows. “I can hear your heart,” she said quietly. He wasn’t sure how to respond, so he said nothing, and drained his tea, even as it burned his mouth. “When I sleep,” she murmured, “I can hear your heart beating through the stone.” She angled her head, as if the city view held some answer. “Can you hear mine?” He wasn’t sure if she truly meant to address him, but he said, “No, lady. I cannot.” (acowar)

Elain’s hearing is a source of concern after she is Made because it is unusually heightened; she hears so many things, usually connected to the nature around her as @silverlinedeyes theorized. Like calls to like, and so she might be able to hear the beating heart of the land around her, even as it slumbers. Perhaps that is why her eyes were drawn to the barren ground in Illyria.

Vesperus, an Asteri trapped in a glass coffin below the Prison, tells us more about the connection between the Cauldron and the land: 

“I am the Evening Star,” Vesperus seethed. Bryce rolled her eyes. “Fine, we’ll call you the Evening Star, too. Happy?” “Is it not fitting?” A wave of long fingers capped in sharp nails. “I drank from the land’s magic, and the land’s magic drank from me.” [...] Vesperus folded her hands in her lap. “A planet that was once green, as this one is.” “And that wasn’t good enough?” “We grew too populous. Wars broke out between the various beings on our world. Some of us saw the changes in the land beginning—rivers run dry, clouds so thick the sun could not pierce them—and left. Our brightest minds found ways to bend the fabric of worlds. To travel between them. Wayfarers, we called them. World-walkers.” [...] “Once we left our home world, our powers began to dim. Too late, we realized that we had been dependent on our land’s inherent magic. The magic in other worlds was not potent enough. Yet we could not find the way back home. Those of us who ventured here found ways to amplify that power, thanks to the gifts of the land. We pooled our power, and imbued those gifts into the Cauldron so that it would work our will. We Made the Trove from it. And then bound the very essence of the Cauldron to the soul of this world.” Solas. “So destroy the Cauldron…” “And you destroy this world. One cannot exist without the other.”

This should come as no surprise because we saw this play out in acowar, but the Cauldron is tied to the soul of their world. The term soul is intentional, and we will return to it in a bit, but I started to wonder in Forbidden secrets about that connection. The influence of Wyrd is especially clear in the sacred peaks, where the Asteri left behind their secrets. Could Elain unravel the Asteri’s magic from the slumbering heart of the earth, and unbind the Cauldron as a result? Or will she need to go to Cretea to retrieve and purify the magic of the Asteri from the Cauldron like a healer would, in body and in spirit? (Hello, Nephelle celebrations, let’s go.) Nothing feels more right than seeing our strong-willed gardener get her hands dirty as she rips out the Asteri from the root, or beating heart, of their world. Sarah may have even hinted at this role for Elain as she describes getting into her mind for her book:

“There was literally ivy everywhere: in the garden beds, wrapped around the trees, crawling up the sides of the house. So I went into this obsessive, I-need-to-rip-out-every-last-strand-of-ivy-before-I-have-this-baby mode. And I remember the entire time I was ripping out the ivy, and trying to get some semblance of order into the garden beds, I just slipped into Elain’s head. Elain is a gardener, and everything I did during those weeks became research for her book. I’m not even joking. Elain’s now going to have dreams about ripping ivy out and the ivy creeping in through the windows to strangle her at night, because let me tell you, that ivy does not want to go.” (Sarah’s interview in acofas) 

English ivy is an aggressive invader and its hosts decline over time before they die. That’s exactly what the Asteri are: aggressive invaders that feed off of their hosts, warping the power of the land for their sole benefit, until it begins to wither away. In hofas, we learn that the Asteri hid their power throughout the land, including at the root of sacred mountains:

Vesperus backed up a half step, hissing at the gleaming weapon. “We hid pockets of our power throughout the lands, in case the vermin should cause … problems. It seems our wisdom did not fail us.”

“There are no such places,” Azriel countered coldly.

“Are there not?” Vesperus grinned broadly, showing all of her too-white teeth. “Have you looked beneath every sacred mountain? At their very roots? The magic draws all sorts of creatures. I can sense them even now, slithering about, gnawing on the magic. My magic. They’re as much vermin as the rest of you.” (hofas)

And we see the moment Bryce discovers that Vesperus has hidden her power in the root of the Prison mountain, which is what sustains her and weakens the land: 

Bryce clutched the Starsword tighter. Its power thudded into her palms like a heartbeat. “But why store your power here? It’s an island—not exactly an easy pit stop.” “There are certain places, girl, that are better suited to hold power than others. Places where the veil between worlds is thin, and magic naturally abounds. Our light thrives in such environments, sustained by the regenerative magic of the land.” She gestured around them. “This island is a thin place—the mists around it declare it so.”  […] “Every world has at least one thin place,” Vesperus drawled. “And there are always certain people more suited to exploit it—to claim its powers, to travel through them to other worlds.” […] “Theia had the gift,” Vesperus said, “but did not understand how to claim the light. I made sure never to reveal how during her training—how she might light up entire worlds, if she wished, if she seized the power to amplify her own. But you, Light-Stealer…She must have passed the gift down to you. And it seems you have learned what she did not.”  Vesperus peered at her bare feet, the rock beneath. “Theia never learned how to access the power I cached beneath my palace. She had no choice but to leave it there, buried in the veins of this mountain. Her loss—and my gain.” Oh gods. There was a fucking firstlight core here, far beneath their feet— (hofas)

These thin places are where ley lines—highways for magic and communication—overlap, allowing travel for those who are suited to it (wayfarers). Starborn and Asteri alike seem to be suited to these places, and have used them to store their power, causing the land around it to wither. 

“Ley lines,” Bryce breathed. Aidas nodded. “These lines are capable of moving magic, but also carrying communications across great distances.” Like those between the Gates of Crescent City, the way she’d spoken to Danika the day she’d made the Drop. “There are ley lines across the whole of the universe. And the planets—like Midgard, like Hel, like the home world of the Fae—atop those lines are joined by time and space and the Void itself. It thins the veils separating us. The Asteri have long chosen worlds that are on the ley lines for that exact purpose. It made it easier to move between them, to colonize those planets. There are certain places on each of these worlds where the most ley lines overlap, and thus the barrier between worlds is at its weakest.” Everything slotted together. “Thin places,” Bryce said with sudden certainty. “Precisely,” Apollion answered for Aidas with an approving nod. “The Northern Rift, the Southern Rift—both lie atop a tremendous knot of ley lines. And while those under Avallen are not as strong, the island is unique as a thin place thanks to the presence of black salt—which ties it to Hel.” “And the mists?” Hunt asked. “What’s the deal with them?” “The mists are a result of the ley lines’ power,” Aidas said. “They’re an indication of a thin place. Hoping to find a ley line strong enough to help her transfer and hide Theia’s power, Helena sent a fleet of Fae with earth magic to scour every misty place they could find on Midgard. When they told her of a place wreathed in mists so thick they could not pierce them, Helena went to investigate. The mists parted for her—as if they had been waiting. She found the small network of caves on Avallen … and the black salt beneath the surface.”

All of the sister peaks thrum with power and are at odds with the land around them. Barren. They might all be thin places, interconnected through ley lines...and hiding a cache of magic in the root (heart) of their souls.

Bryce’s ancestors, separated by the Void, planted clues for those with the gifts and vision to see it.

What had looked like etched seas or rivers of stars now filled in with starlight, became … alive. Moving, cascading, coursing. A secret illustration, only for those with the gifts and vision to see it. (hofas)

A secret carved in stone. What secrets remain under other sacred mountains, such as Ramiel? Is it any coincidence that Enalius, who defended Ramiel, was the owner of Truth-Teller? Or that the Cauldron is depicted there? Who would be equipped with the gifts and vision to uncover those secrets and finally set the soul of the land free, like Bryce? 

“Light blasted up through the blades into her hands, her arms, her heart. Bryce could hear it through her feet, through the stone. The song of the land beneath her. Quiet and old and forgotten, but there. She heard how Avallen had yielded its joy, its bright green lands and skies and flowers, so it might hold the power as it was bid, waiting all this time for someone to unleash it. To free it. […] Helena had bound the soul of this land in magical chains. No more. No more would Bryce allow the Fae to lay claim over anything. “You’re free,” Bryce whispered to Avallen, to the land and the pure, inherent magic beneath it. “Be free.” And it was. (hofas)

Helena bound the soul of Avallen in magical chains. Doesn't that sound like what the Asteri did with the Cauldron and the land? There are so many hints that Elain is set up to address this plot, but the one I find the most compelling is given by the Under-King when he confirms who Wyrd (Urd) is:

The Under-King lounged on a throne beneath a behemoth statue of a figure holding a black metal bowl between her upraised hands. Symbols were carved all over the bowl, continuing down her fingers, her arms, her body. Ithan could only assume it was meant to represent Urd. No other temples ever depicted the goddess, no one even dared—most people claimed that fate was impossible to portray in any one form. But it seemed that the dead, unlike the living, had a vision of her. And those symbols running from the bowl onto her skin…they were like tattoos.” […] “And she,” the Under-King went on, gesturing to that unusual depiction of Urd towering above him, “was not a goddess, but a force that governed worlds. A cauldron of life, brimming with the language of creation. Urd, they call her here—a bastardized version of her true name. Wyrd, we called her in that old world.” (hofas)

Now, doesn't that sound familiar?

Her gaze shifted to the carved wooden rose she’d placed upon the mantel, half-hidden in the shadows beside a figurine of a supple-bodied female, her upraised arms clasping a full moon between them. Some sort of primal goddess—perhaps even the Mother herself. Nesta hadn’t let herself dwell on why she’d felt the need to set the rose there. Why she hadn’t just thrown it in a drawer. (acosf)

The statues are essentially the same and Wyrd has already been described in terms that evoke the Mother, Cauldron, and Fate (Forces That Be). And Nesta just happened to feel the need (fateful tug?) to place Elain’s rose—a symbol of life and joy and beauty—right next to Wyrd, and drew our attention to it again in the final scene of her story. What do you want to bet that Wyrd, the Stone Mother, gave her favorite gardener the gifts and vision she needs to make her dream of building more gardens, of breathing life and beauty into the land, a reality?

Sarah has confirmed that the main female characters in her books are helped by others, usually a love interest and friends. So who might be foreshadowed to help Elain?

I dragged a hand over my face before going to Elain and touching her too-bony shoulder. “Can I set you up in the garden? The herbs you planted are coming in nicely.”  “I can help her,” said Azriel, stepping to the table as Elain silently rose. No shadows at his ear, no darkness ringing his fingers as he extended a hand. (acowar)  - “I’ll help you,” Nesta offered.  But Elain shook her head. “Nuala and Cerridwen will help me.”  Then she was gone–shoulders a little squarer.  - It was three by the time the others went to bed. [...] Azriel and Elain remained in the sitting room, my sister showing him the plans she’d sketched to expand the garden in the back of the town house, using the seeds and tools my family had given her tonight. (acofas)

It’s no coincidence that the characters closest to Elain possess unique powers that complement her own and relate specifically to the elements of Stone Mother. Azriel learned to speak the language of shadow and wind and stone, while the half-wraith twins are nothing but shadow and mist, able to walk through walls, stone as @psychee92 discusses here. Their magic likely thrives in thin parts of the world. It also isn't a coincidence that Nesta noticed and wondered this:  

“You came,” Elain said behind her, and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach. She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends. (acosf) 

Their beautiful, wraith-like team has the gifts necessary to traverse the slumbering heart of the earth as easily as foreign courts, which is a hard combination to find and is uniquely suited for Elain’s mission to release the Cauldron and land from the magical chains of the Asteri. Especially since we learn that Bryce uses both blades of the Starborn to free Avallen from its magical chains:

On an exhale, she plunged the weapons into the slits in the eight-pointed star. The small one for the knife. The larger one for the sword.

And like a key turning in a lock, they released what lay beneath. (hofas)

They even help Bryce rid the land of the Asteri and their core of power, creating a larger void to devour the one the Asteri set in place. Back in acowar, as many have noticed, Sarah already planted this moment between Azriel and Elain:

I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection…that knife. (acowar)

She and Azriel seem to represent the balance of light and dark in the Starsword and Truth-Teller, as @merymoonbeam theorized. The Starborn blade—the one belonging to Enalius—is a bridge of connection between them. Bryce leaves the Starsword (Gwydion) and Truth-Teller with Nesta, encouraging her to learn about her connection to the Starborn (eight-pointed star). That might mean the Archeron Starborn connection may happen after all. I could see Elain wielding those blades when needed, activating their magic as she seemed to do with Truth-Teller, to release the land from its magical chains. It would also be interesting if Elain and Azriel functioned like the Made blades themselves, releasing the Asteri’s chains with their own blend of raw magic, and watching joyously as life blooms in earnest again.

Once they remove the magical chains of the Asteri—on the land and their sacred Cauldron—perhaps we’ll also discover what exists between Elain and Azriel at last: 

Elain sat silently at one of the wrought-iron tables, a cup of tea before her. Azriel was sprawled on the chaise longue across the gray stones, sunning his wings and reading what looked to be a stack of reports–likely information on the Autumn Court that he planned to present to Rhys once he’d sorted through it all. Already dressed for the Hewn City–the brutal, beautiful armor so at odds with the lovely garden. And my sister sitting within it. 

“Why not make them mates?” I mused. “Why Lucien?” 

“I’d keep that question from Lucien.” 

“I’m serious.” I turned toward him and crossed my arms. “What decides it? Who decides it?” 

Rhys straightened his lapels before plucking an invisible piece of lint from them. “Fate, the Mother, the Cauldron’s swirling eddies…” (acowar)

@silverlinedeyes, @offtorivendell, @elriell and others have written extensively about mating bonds, so I won’t discuss that in depth here. Essentially, Feysand and Nessian appear to have bonds that are true in spirit, and they are described as living threads of pure golden light between their souls. 

Thread after thread of pure golden light flowed into him, and he met it with his own. Where those threads wove together, life glowed like starfire, and she had never seen anything more beautiful, felt anything more beautiful. (acosf) 

This living light reminds me of the dawn, which is associated with healing and new beginnings. When Feysand and Nessian bind their souls together in these scenes, the dawn is invoked each time: 

Feysand

…I was his and he was mine, and we were the beginning and middle and end. We were a song that had been sung from the very first ember of light in the world. (acomaf)

Nessian

Cassian roared as he came, and the sound was the summons of a hunt, a symphony, a single clear horn playing as dawn broke over the world. (acosf)

And when Azriel first sees Elain in his bonus chapter, her hair is unbound and she appears like the dawn, gilded in living light on the longest night of the year. 

Soft steps padded from under the stair archway, and there she was.

The Faelights gilded Elain’s unbound hair, making her glow like the sun at dawn. (Azriel’s bonus chapter)

Is it possible that, with Elain’s connection to Wyrd and the land, her own threads of life are similarly chained, or warped? Perhaps when Elain clears away the Asteri’s power, we will finally see the truth blooming between them: threads of golden light twining together in an endless, earthy melody.

[cityofmeliora]

Cardi / Papa IV talking about Nihil between "Miasma" and "Mary On A Cross" in Re-Imperatour 2023

i've been meaning to make a compilation post of these speeches for a while. i think the way Cardi talks about Nihil is kinda funny (and sometimes kinda sad). also he was *very clear* about Nihil being his dad long before Rite Here Rite Now, LOL.

i was able to find video of his speeches from 33 of the 58 Re-Imperatour shows. if anyone has better audio for these clips, or clips from the missing shows, please let me know so i can update! i tried to transcribe these as accurately as possible. but the way Cardi talks is kinda weird so there may be some minor errors, haha.

Toulouse, France (May 23, 2023)

"How 'bout this? I can play you a song that my daddy actually used to sing. You like that?"

Milan, Italy (May 29, 2023)

"You saw my, uh, daddy-o over there, right? Yeah… We're gonna sing a song that he used to sing!"

Barcelona, Spain (June 1, 2023)

"Now… You know my dad? He's, uh, he's no longer with us– mentally. But physically, every once in a while, he'll come out with his saxamaphone, and that's what you just saw. But we're now gonna sing a song that my daddy used to sing, once upon a time. You might have heard this one!"

Nantes, France (June 3, 2023)

"Anyway, I'm gonna sing a song now that my daddy–my papa–my father– he used to sing. So let's go!"

Amsterdam, Netherlands (June 4, 2023)

"You saw my daddy-o? My old papa? We're gonna sing a song that he used to sing, actually. Yeah, so you might have heard this one!"

Bochum, Germany (June 13, 2023)

"You saw my old, uh… mein vater, huh? Yeah? He's now a saxophonist– a dead one! But he used to be a singer. And we're gonna sing a song now that he used to sing back in the day… back in the day…"

Neu-Ulm, Germany (June 20, 2023)

"Well, you met my, uh… my dad. Mein vater, huh? Before he started playing the saxamaphone, he was actually a singer. He sang songs. And you know, he begged us before he passed: "Please play our song– my song that I used to do!" So you wanna hear the song that he used to sing? Here it comes!"

Spálené Poříčí, Czechia (June 22, 2023)

"But you know what? Before we leave, we're gonna play you one song that my dad used to sing back in the day."

Oslo, Norway (June 23, 2023)

"So. You saw what my old dad could do. Yeah… blowing that shit. You wish you were the one that he was doing it to, right? Hahahaha. Well, anyway, he used to be a singer, you know! He used to sing songs! They were okay. But we're gonna do one now that he used to sing. I hope you dig it. It's okay!"

Athens, Greece (June 25, 2023)

"You saw what my, uh, my papa… he, uh, he still blows that shit! Well, he's dead, but we roll him out for special occasions. But you know, he used to sing, like I do! And he was an okay singer, actually. I must have got it from somewhere, I guess. But you wanna hear a song that he used to sing? You might like this one."

Concord, USA (August 2, 2023)

"What do you think about Pops over there? You like that? You like when he blows that shit? Yeah. He doesn't suck at it, that's for sure. But anyway, once upon a time, he was actually a singer. Yeah. We're gonna sing a song now that he used to sing back in the day."

Auburn, USA (August 4, 2023)

"How do you like that? My old dad. He wasn't much of a father –he kind of sucked at that– but he sure as shit blows really good. Yeah, no, he– he's fine, he's fine, except for being dead. But y'know, we roll him out for the good occasions, and this is one of them. You know, back in the day, he used to be a singer. I hate to say it, but I think I got it from him. Yeah. He was an okay singer. But do you guys wanna sing a song that he used to sing, together with me? Alright… Go!"

Denver, USA (August 8, 2023)

"You like that blowjob? Yeah, I know. My old man. My old daddy-o. I know he blows. Still. Miraculously. Posthumously. But you know, once upon a time he was not an actual sucky singer. He was actually quite okay. We're gonna play a song now that he used to sing, and I hope you dig it. Alright?"

St. Louis (August 11, 2023)

"Give it up for my old man! Yeah… he still blows! Once upon a time, though, he was actually quite okay a singer. Do you wanna sing a song together now that he used to sing back in the day? Okay, let's do this!"

Milwaukee, USA (August 12, 2023)

"What did you think, huh? My old man… First he was just a fart that I met, and then I got to know that he was my dad. Yeah. He's– he was okay. For a sucker, he blows really good, actually, don't you think? Once upon a time, he was actually a kinda decent singer. Have you heard any of those songs? You wanna sing one now? Alright. Let's go!"

Chicago, USA (August 15, 2023)

"I don't know about your Pops, but mine sure fucking blows. Once upon a time he was actually a not-too-sucky singer, though. Have you heard anything of his stuff? You wanna sing one of his old songs? Alright. Let's do it then– come on!"

Cincinnati (August 16, 2023)

"How did you like that, then? Yeah, I know, my old dad. My old daddy-o. Still blowing that shit. I guess he's fine. Now, I don't know if you knew this but, once upon a time, he was actually a quite okay singer. Have you heard any of his songs? We're gonna honor him now a little and, uh, sing one of his old songs, okay?"

Syracuse, USA (August 18, 2023)

"That's my old man. Or was. Pretty sucky father, but he still can blow. He blew some really good shit there, didn't he? Right through his nose. Anyway, once upon a time, he was actually quite a decent singer. And, uh, y'know, did some tunes. And we're gonna do one now. You wanna? Ohhh!"

Mansfield, USA (August 19, 2023)

"Yeah. My old Pops there. Y'know, for years he didn't do much. Y'know… and uh, because he used to be a singer but now he just, uh, y'know, he does a good– y'know, he does a good blow job. But he used to be a singer. And he sang quite well. And, uh, we're actually gonna commemorate that fact by singing one of his tunes now. And we hope you dig it. Alright?"

Bridgeport, USA (August 20, 2023)

"How 'bout that? My old man. My old man… Well, he's a dead man now. But you know we bring him out for the blow job, and he does okay with that. You know, he was once upon a time a fairly decent singer. And I thought we, uh, might take this opportunity to sing one of his old songs. I think you've heard this one. It's okay."

Burgettstown, USA (August 23, 2023)

"How did you like that, though? My old Pop, with his saxamaphone. Ah, he's okay. Or he was okay. I guess he's not anymore. Anyway, we're gonna sing a song now that he used to sing back in the day, when he was singing. So… Come on!"

Bristow, USA (August 24, 2023)

"You know… my dad… not much of a dad. But he sure blows that good shit, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has always been an entertainer, I guess… even now, posthumously– Google that. He was, once upon a time, a singer like I am. And he did a few tunes. I don't know if you've heard them. They're okay– they're okay. But we're gonna do one of them now and, uh, you might wanna sing along. Are you ready?"

Camden, USA (August 25, 2023)

"Well, what do you think? My old man– he's a good blower of shit, huh? That would be his, uh, tribe name: "Blower of Tubes". But once upon a time his name could've been "Singer of Songs", because he was– used to be a singer, y'know? And he was a fairly decent one, actually. He was not that bad. They did a few tunes. You wanna sing one of them? Alright, let's do it! Come on!"

Houston, USA (September 2, 2023)

"How did you like that? My old man resurrected to come out and blow shit for you? Nowadays he's a blower, I guess. But once upon a time, he was a not so sucky singer, yeah– let's put it that way. And, uh, he actually did a few tunes. And, uh, we're thinking that maybe you wanna sing one. Are you down with that? Alright, let's get rippin'!

Dallas, USA (September 5, 2023)

"Heh, we even got my old dad sort of erected– resurrected. But yeah, I think he felt it, too. Maybe you saw the sax moving? He was once an okay singer. Did you know that? Yeah, he used to sing songs. Yeah. Would you like to sing a song that he used to sing? Alright, let's do it!"

Albuquerque, USA (September 7, 2023)

"So my old man. The old fart. Yeah, he can make wind move– I can tell you that. Blowing that shit. Once upon a time he was a singer, though. Did you know that? Yeah, he did a few songs. And I was thinking that maybe we should sing one of them. Just for shits and giggles. Are you down with that? Alright, come on!"

Phoenix, USA (September 8, 2023)

"Are you still feeling it? Yeah! I hope you weren't blown away by my… my old man. Yeah I know he blows that shit nowadays. [UNINTELLIGIBLE] But, uh, once upon a time, he was actually a singer. Did you know that? And a fairly decent solo, actually. So we were thinking that maybe you wanna sing one of his old tunes. Are you digging it? Come on!"

Rite Here Rite Now - Los Angeles, USA (September 12, 2023)

"How did you like that, then? That's my old man, actually. You know, we roll him out for the good nights. Once upon a time, he was actually a quite decent singer. Yeah. Did you know that? We're gonna sing a song now that he used to sing and, uh… Come on!"

Mexico City, Mexico (September 18, 2023)

"How do you like that? That was my– my old papa. He's okay. He's not that good. And I guess the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree... so he's okay. Do you guys know that he used to be a singer, once upon a time? Do you guys wanna play a song and sing a song that he used to sing? Let's go then, people!"

São Paulo (September 21, 2023)

"You like that guy? The old guy? He's okay. He's my old papa. Did you know that he was actually a singer back in the day? Do you guys wanna sing a song that he used to sing. Alright, let's do it!"

Buenos Aires, Argentina (September 24, 2023)

"You see– I'm your Papa, but that's my papa. He's an okay papa. Or he was. He's dead now, but we sort of drag him out for the good shows. Nowadays, he's just a saxophone player. But he used to be a singer, did you know that? Do you guys wanna play a– sing a song that he used to sing? Alright, let's go!"

Santiago, Chile (September 27, 2023)

"Anyway, you saw my papa there, right? Yeah. Once upon a time, he was a singer. Did you know that? We were thinking that maybe you wanna sing one of his old songs. Alright, come on!"

Sydney, Australia (October 3, 2023)

"So… how did you like that? That's my old man. Well… He never was much of a papa to me, but… it's okay. He does a good blowjob nowadays. Y'know what? Before he was blowing that shit he was actually not a too sucky singer, did you know that? Yeah! Once upon a time he was actually singing songs. So we thought that maybe you wanna sing one of his old tunes. You wanna do that? Come on!"

[jedi-enthusiast]

I saw you had thoughts on the Codywan v Anidala lightsaber exchange and I need to hear these juicy details, please and thank you ☺️

Ask and you shall receive!

Everything I'm gonna outline in detail below can basically be summarized as this-

"Anakin and Padme--for all their talk about how much they love and trust each other--don't actually trust each other. Meanwhile Cody and Obi-Wan never really talk about trusting each other, but it's obvious that there is a natural trust between them. The lightsaber exchange represents this."

-----

In RotS and in the later seasons of TCW, it's pointed out or shown multiple times that Anakin and Padme do not trust each other, even on the most basic level.

In the RotS novelization, Padme is talking with some senators about possibly opposing the Chancellor--but one of them insists that they'll need to backing of the Jedi to do that. Padme then says that there is one Jedi who she trusts above all else...and then is promptly horrified when she actually thinks about it and finds that Anakin doesn't make the cut--and then has a mini-crisis about it and puts the blame on others for their shitty relationship ('Oh Ani, what are they doing to us?').

In the whole Rush Clovis arc of TCW, we see how mistrustful Anakin is of Padme--going so far as to put himself in the middle of them every chance he gets.

Now some might argue that it's Clovis that he was mistrustful of but, call me crazy, if I trusted my partner and I was in Anakin's shoes (aka having to let Padme get close to Clovis for the greater good of the galaxy, because it could help them win the war) then I wouldn't be putting myself in the middle of them all the time. I would trust my partner to remain faithful to me or, considering the situation that they were in, only be unfaithful as a last resort. I also wouldn't get mad at my partner when someone else tried to kiss her, even after she said no. Which Anakin does.

All of this adds together to show that, despite what he says, Anakin doesn't actually trust her.

Early in TCW we actually see the seeds of this as well, even though it's not framed that way.

In "Hostage Crisis" we open up the episode by watching as Anakin tries to convince Padme to take a vacation with him, despite her still having work in the Senate. He then proceeds to give her his lightsaber and repeatedly state how much he trusts her, basically going-

"See? My lightsaber is supposed to be a Jedi's life, how can I not trust you if I'm letting you hold it? See how much I trust you?"

then blah blah blah the rest of the episode happens.

It's not framed this way, but to me that actually shows a level of mistrust and insecurity in the relationship. I don't know about you, but the only time I tell someone I trust them, unprompted, is when I don't actually trust them but I'm trying to convince them that I do. Otherwise I don't need to say it, because I show it. That's what I see in Anidala.

Now, in contrast, let's look at Cody and Obi-Wan.

Multiple times in TCW and then in RotS, Cody keeps Obi-Wan's lightsaber safe when he loses it and then returns it to Obi-Wan later--and we can assume that it happens more than is shown because Cody even has a lightsaber clip on his armor which, as far as I'm aware, is never shown on any other clone in any of the shows or movies. It's specific to them.

It's never mentioned between them, though. Ever. The most they do is flirt tease a little (as shown in the RotS novelization), but Obi-Wan never tells Cody "oh wow, I let you take care of my lightsaber, look at how much I trust you" or even has that moment of thinking it to himself. It's never brought up, because it doesn't have to be.

The two just naturally trust each other, Obi-Wan naturally trusts Cody with his life--both his physical one and the life represented by his lightsaber. There's no need for convincing or to make it some big spectacle, it just is.

As @dreamerkath commented under one of my posts, "CodyWan is the balance that Anidala couldn't achieve."

Cody and Obi-Wan are everything that Anakin and Padme try to convince themselves they are...and neither of them burned down the fucking galaxy to show it.

[atinylittlepain]

Only Lovers Left Alive

cowboy!vamp!joel miller x f!reader

joel miller masterlist

He offers her another option between life and death. How could she refuse?

warnings | 18+ smut, slight dubcon initially, gore, blood, dark themes in general, you've been warned muah hahahaha

wordcount: 4.5K

a/n | vamp!joel has me by the throat (pun intended) and though this is my last fic before my two month break, i have decided to turn this into a series that will span the decades! i already have 1920s, 1950s, and 1970s vamp bb waiting in the wings for when i get back in august :) BTW this first one is set in the 1870s ish - ALSO, @toxicanonymity posted a mind-melting vamp!joel fic last night that y'all should check out if you have a taste for the ~darker~ things in life. k, love you, bye

.........................................

A condemnation. An exile. Execution and exultation all wrapped up in one. She knew that if she rode out of town she need never look back. A white dress hanging on the bureau in her room the last thing she saw before she slipped out into the night. Her daddy’s gun and her brother’s horse and a scrawled note for her mama left behind. Do not look for me, I am already gone. 

She has every intention to be dead by the time the sun unfurls over the plains. The only true escape for a woman in this world, a loveless marriage nipping at her heels on her way out. She rides hard in the inky darkness until the flickering lanterns of the town are only a blink in the distance. 

Her hands are shaking as she dismounts, eyes skittering over the lip of the canyon she stands above. A bullet and a fall. If it’s so easy, why can she feel the cool slip of tears as she presses that steel mouth to her temple? Just like she learned from her daddy, thumb back the hammer to load that single, sweet bullet. And a pull, as easy as a loose tooth snapping free.

But before she can, her horse lets out a nervous chitter, head swinging side to side. A man, silent, palms open and up, comes inching toward her out from behind a copse of sagebrush.

“Don’t come any closer!” He stops dead in his tracks, lips parted, eyes wide and glinting in the moonlight.

“Easy, miss. Don’t want any trouble. Just wanted to offer my help.” It’s such a strange thing to say to a woman with a gun nosing at her temple that she finds herself letting out a humorless laugh.

“Do I look like I need any help right now?” It surprises her, the smile that softens his features, eyes crinkling up, soaked in kindness, and understanding.

“With all due respect, miss, you seem perfectly capable. But you should know that pistol of yours ain’t loaded.” She almost doesn’t want to check, a hot rush of embarrassment skittering up her spine when she does and sees that the man is right. She can already feel the tight sting of tears, something uglier and more desperate than frustration settling in her stomach.

“You probably think I’m a fool, don’t you?” The man takes another step forward, still with his hands up, still with that kind look in his eyes.

“I don’t think you’re a fool. Think you’re hurting like a lot of other folks out on these plains.” Another two steps closer and he extends his hand out to her, and for some reason, she takes it.

“Name’s Joel Miller, miss. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, even under such circumstances.” Deep, dark brown eyes that swallow her up. She finds herself telling him her name before she can even think not to. 

“I ain’t gonna try to talk you out of anything. What I can offer you are some bullets, and maybe a meal if you’d like to stick around a little longer.” All charm, the quicksilver of his smile crooking in the pale light and she has to force herself to let go of his hand. She tries to take a few stumbling steps back, oblivious to the cliff-side her heel skids right over, a clipped yelp jolting through her chest before strong arms are wrapping around her waist and tugging her back from the edge.

“Woah there, miss. I think you’d prefer a bullet to a fall like that.” The way he so easily talks about it makes her stomach flip, something slippery settling that isn’t altogether unpleasant. 

“I don’t have money and I ain’t that type of girl if you’re thinking you’ll get something out of helping me.” He laughs, a low thrumming thing, his palms still gripping her waist, his legs brushing against her skirts.

“Ain’t that type of man, miss, I promise. Just another lonely soul like yourself.” His hands slip away from her, stepping back, a chill running up her spine that makes her flush.

“Tell you what, I’ve got a camp a few yards ahead. A quick ride on that horse of yours. You can think on it and when we get there, I’ll get you your bullets and if you’re inclined to it, a warm meal.” She knows she can’t go home, not now, something worse than death waiting for her there. And something about this man, Joel, is making her want to say yes.

“Alright, you have a deal. But just because my gun isn’t loaded doesn’t mean I don’t know how to use it in other ways so you better not try anything.” A grin, all teeth.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, miss.” 

He’s strong, she can feel it in the bulk of his thighs settling behind her on her horse, the steady, solid front of him pressed against her back. By the time they canter into a small rock outcropping, her mind is hazy with the feel of muscle pushing and pulling against her.

True to his word, the first thing he does after helping her down from her horse is to rustle around in his pack, taking out a silvery pistol and giving her two bullets from his own barrel, palms brushing in the trade.

“Those oughta work just fine in that gun of yours, though I am waiting on your answer.” That same slanted smile of his, eyes flicked up with the tilt of his chin.

“Please, miss. Pity a poor, lonely man. Just a bite.” How could she say no to that?

In the warm glow of the fire, shadows and light reveal just how handsome he is. The strong hook of his nose, the cut of his jaw beneath that patchy scruff of his. And those eyes, flickering in the flames, watching her every move. 

She hadn’t realized how hungry she was, and though it’s sparse, rough fixings, she finds herself scraping up every last bite. No one to tell her to chew with her mouth closed, no table to get her elbows smacked off of, just this strange, silent man staring at her.

“Aren’t you hungry too?”

“Oh no, miss, I’m quite alright.” It makes her pause, her breath hitching, as she stares down at her already empty plate, her stomach rolling in a quick lurch.

“You– I–”

“You worried I poisoned you?” He says it with that same grin, and she’d like to scramble onto her feet and onto her horse and get as far away from him as she can. But the cool prickle running up her spine keeps her seated right where she is, trying to stammer out some sort of response. Joel is quick to silence her stumblings with another laugh though, teeth glinting in the swerving light of the fire.

“That’s alright, miss. But you should know I don’t want to harm you. I want to help you.” 

“Help me?”

“Uh-huh. What if I told you that I could offer you another way out that doesn’t involve putting a bullet in that pretty head of yours?” Those eyes of his are catching her again, soothing the stilted beat in her ribs.

“W-what would it involve?” 

“Well that’s a bit hard to explain, miss. But I assure you, it’s nothing you wouldn’t enjoy, thoroughly.” His hand reaches out, fingers tracing along the hinge of her jaw, brushing down the side of her neck before dipping under the neckline of her dress, flickering back and forth, back and forth along her skin.

“If you ask me, a sweet thing like you deserves more out of this cruel, cruel world.”

“M-more?” Shifting closer to her, his arm draping over her shoulders, pulling her into the haze of him, that silvery grin up close.

“Don’t you want to feel good, miss?” His lips so close she can feel the brush of them along her cheek, his fingers curling tighter around her shoulder. And then, with a stuttered nod of her head, she sinks into him completely. 

She’s only had frivolous, playground kisses before. Quick, daring pecks followed by a fast dash away before anyone could catch them. This is not that. He devours her, licking into her mouth in a way that both shocks and soothes, his palm coming to hold her jaw firm in place as his lips move against hers. And she takes it, all of it, letting him move her to his will, his lips a wandering drag beneath the hinge of her jaw, lingering along the arc of her neck before dipping down to the tops of her heaving breasts pressing against the neckline of her dress.

“How sweet you are, my darlin. Sweet everywhere, ain’t you?” There’s nothing she could possibly say to that, her mind spinning in jagged gasps of sensation when he brings his hands to the front of her dress and rips clean down the front of it, corset and all, leaving her in just the thin gauze of her slip. She finds something like courage, a small ember of it smoldering enough for her to start tugging at the shoulders of his leather coat, earning a chuckle from him when he finally gets the hint and shrugs out of it.

“I need your words, darlin, else I can’t do this. Do you want this?” She’s not even entirely sure what this is, only that her mind is swimming in it, in him, and she wants more of it.

“Yes, Joel, I want this, I do.” He pulls her in for another bruising kiss, lips curled in that grin as he coaxes her to lay out on the cold desert ground, though she doesn’t mind with the way her body is burning up beneath his touch. 

She’s never done this before, guided only by the sharp tug in her belly, that aching want intensifying as he rucks her slip up beneath her collar bones and begins a salacious trail down her skin. His lips close around the peak of one of her nipples, a gasp dragging through her throat as his tongue laves over the bud. But it’s a rattling shock when he dips just a bit lower, teeth sinking into the full curve of her breast before his tongue sweeps over the sting, soothing, soothing, soothing. 

Lower and lower, a path of his open mouth mapped across her skin until he’s settled between her thighs, the broadness of his shoulders spreading open the hinge of her hips.

“No one’s had you like this, have they, darlin?” His eyes are blown black, unwavering, turning her shy and small beneath his question, her chin tucking into her shoulder as she shakes her head. He lets out a low groan at her response that makes her thighs clench, jolting in the wide grip of his palms.

“I’ll do all the work. All you have to do is let it feel good.” That’s about all the warning he gives her before his tongue drags a flat stripe through her cunt, her spine arching with the dizzying sensation as he settles his lips over a spot that makes her gasp. Over and over again, his tongue swirls against that aching point of pleasure, his palms turning harsh in their grip on her thighs as her muscles start to shake from it. Her eyes roll back, up to the stars in the pitch-black sky, ears thrumming with the obscene sounds of his lips smacking with her arousal. And it hits her all at once, everything going tight and hot with sensation before she unfurls for him with a sigh of his name, body languid and liquid as he continues to lap at her dripping cunt.

“Feels good, huh, darlin? Can make you feel so much better though.” She groans when his mouth meets hers again, open, wanting, receiving, the taste of herself on his lips making her mind swim. It’s primal, pre-human, the want she feels for the thick heat of him that’s settled between her legs, her hips canting up to chase that pressure. 

“Please, Joel, I want to feel good.” She’s almost crying with it. Nothing has felt like this, ever. And he’s more than willing to give her what she wants.

“Gonna take my time with you, darlin. Make it feel real good.” He plants one palm next to her temple in the red earth, his other hand fumbling to unfasten his pants and shuck them down enough so his cock can rest, heavy and flushed against the soft inside of her thigh. She has to bite back a whimper just looking at the sheer size of him.

“Don’t you worry, darlin. Remember what I said, huh? Not gonna harm you, just help you. Relax for me, that’s it.” A stretch, a searing, sick pleasure as he begins to drive his cock into her fluttering cunt. But he’s gentle, so gentle, a slow spread that has her mewling beneath him.

“There you go, taking all of it. Made for me, ain’t you? My angel, all mine.” She can’t help the moan that tears through her chest when he grinds his hips deep and driving, a pulsing, aching fullness that has her digging her nails into his shoulder blades. But that ache bursts into a snarling fire of want when he drags his hips back, only to roll them forward on a much faster, much deepers thrust, already settling them into a dizzying rhythm of push and pull.

“Joel, please I– feels so good, oh my go–”

“Just my name, darlin. Say my name and nothing else.” She does, long drawn out preens of it as he fucks her, that same pleasure pulling taut up and down her spine. 

“Again, darlin, just like this.” His words are murmured into her throat, that beating, pumping crook in her neck, and her body responds in kind, unraveling for him all over again as he continues the hot drag of his cock through her cunt. As she starts to come, those open-mouthed kisses snap into something else. Teeth, a graze, and then a sinking, startling pain. All she can do is hold on, her whole body going limp in his arms as that pain radiates into a burning singe. A rushing settles into her ears, dark pinpricks around her vision, barely registering the warbled moan he lets out as she feels something warm smear against her stomach.

“I think I’ll keep you, darlin.”

And then perfect darkness.

…

Like fingers skittering up her throat, she wakes up to a thirst so singular, so consuming, she actually brings her hand to her neck, wincing when her fingers brush what feels like a bruise across her skin. 

“You’re awake.” It startles her so badly she jumps, curling up and scrambling back until she’s pressed against a large boulder. Joel sits, crouched, studying her, face schooled and steeled. 

“I– how long was I asleep?” Her voice cracks, that thirst making her words weak and warbled. 

“About two days. Slept like the dead when I was done with you.” His words crackle with his grin and she has to shake her head to refocus on figuring out where the hell she is. Looking down at her body, she finds herself in men’s clothes, slacks and boots, a button up, all too big for her, most likely Joel’s. And then she remembers what he had done to her dress and her thoughts go hazy again.

“W-where are we, Joel?” 

“Just a few miles west. You hungry?” 

“No, I’m– I’m thirsty.” His grin goes big and bright at that, silvery slick in the moonlight.

“I bet you are, darlin. Why don’t you come over here and I’ll give you something to drink?” The promise of this need, this burning urge being slaked is enough for her to close the distance between them, letting him maneuver her shivering body into his lap.

“Just give your body what it wants. Easy as reaching out and taking it.” Her palms press against his chest, a futile struggle as he guides her face into the crook of his neck with his hand cupping the back of her head. But something else takes over in her, a fire flickering up her throat when her lips press against the thin skin of his neck. And it is what her body wants, lips parting, teeth snarling and sinking in.

“That’s it, darlin. My angel’s a natural, huh?” When she finally pulls away, eyes hooded and heavy with satisfaction, she finds herself smiling up at him, something slick and sweet simmering in her veins. 

“Thank you, Joel.” Teeth, all teeth.

“Of course, darlin. Gonna be you and me from now on.”

…

He offered her another option. Something between life and death. That is where she lives now. This is how she lives now. With him. 

When they must, they travel in the day, wide-brimmed hats tilted down, bandanas tied over their faces, long leather coats and gloves. Otherwise, they move in the night, over the vast, whimpering plains, whetting their particular appetites whenever they can, jumping towns before their faces can be known.

A year, maybe two, maybe even three. What use do they have for time? Caught in an endless tangle, just the two of them, and that blazing thirst. 

But there is one thing they have their sights set on. Making their way back, retracing their path, her path to him, until they find themselves on the outskirts of a town she swore she’d never see again. 

No guns, they don’t need them. Horses set loose, they won’t be needing them either. As the sun dips down over the plains, they walk through the main drag of town. He let her call the shots, agreeing when she insisted they come for the men only. Let the women and children run so long as they stay out of their way. 

It’s a long night. One that ends in her childhood home. And by the time the sun is coming up, one would find the ranch house with the front door ajar in a silent yawn, her mama and her sisters having fled. And on the porch, still holding his shotgun, her daddy’s splayed out body. Perhaps luckily, she didn’t have any brothers. Just the man she was supposed to marry.

“I’m so full, Joel. I don’t know if I can have another bite.” 

“Hmm, you wanna save him for later?” 

“I think I can make room.” Fear, like the cream top on a fresh gallon of milk. So, so sweet and rolling in waves off the man’s trembling body, Joel pinning him against the wall of her childhood bedroom as she paces back and forth. They haven’t had this much to drink in ages, and she feels dizzy, drunk off it, smacking her lips with the lingering taste.

“What are you people? W-what happened to yo–” Joel cuts off the man’s blubbering by jostling him back against the wall, teeth bare, something like a growl pulling from his chest.

“Now, Joel. Didn’t your mama teach you not to play with your food?” She grins, and he mirrors her in turn, looking over his shoulder at her. A hum in her throat, she glances around her old room, eyes settling on the wardrobe, her hands itching with a small want. She’s already moving over to it, opening it, and sure enough, that white dress is tucked inside. 

“That’s pretty, darlin. Why don’t you put it on for me?” It’s nothing for Joel to hold the man against the wall, one forearm pinning him by his neck as he turns to watch her, her fingers already flickering through the buttons of her shirt. She strips completely bare, savoring the two sets of eyes trailing her every move as she slips the simple white frock over her body.

“Look like an angel, darlin. Doesn’t she, boy?” Joel punctuates his question with a harsh press of his arm into the man’s windpipe, making him wheeze out a stuttered yes. 

“All this talk has worked up my appetite again.”

“This one’s all yours, darlin.” 

Blooming red flowers all down her dress, a trail of it down her chin that Joel laps up with a satisfied groan. They turn greedy with it, desperate to get the other bare, and when every thread of clothing is in a pool around their feet, he circles around her, his lips pressing into the striped scars on her back, a mapping of her history that she finally got to repay.

“How’s it taste?”

“You were right, Joel. There’s nothing sweeter.” 

“Except for you, darlin.” 

She’s not that shy little girl anymore. She knows how to take her pleasure, how to pull it from her man. And tonight, both of their bodies painted and slick with their feast, she does just that. All teeth, sharp, scraping nips when her mouth meets his, her hands tangled up in his hair to tug him closer with a low groan. Push and pull, a stubborn tangle onto the bed, her hands splaying out on his chest, nails digging in enough to make him hiss beneath her. Their skin sticks and slides with all the dribbling blood. They’ve always been messy eaters.

“Look at you, darlin. Like a fucking painting in my lap. So beautiful.” He swipes his thumb over her nipple, collecting a stray trickle of red and sucking it into his mouth with a thrum in his throat. And she in turn dips down to lick up the line of his neck, salt and metal on her tongue. So perfectly sated, she feels dazed with it, a slow-flickering want rolling in her belly as she drags her dripping cunt along his cock, just a taste of the pleasure they’re both chasing. But they’re both too far gone, too full of that ache for her to tease much more, sinking down onto him slow and smooth with a preen curling her spine.

“I’m so, so full, Joel. Fuck, so good.” Her whole body hums with it, the harsh press of his fingers into the curve of her ass, his eyes watching the tight bounce of her breasts each time her hips drop against his, and his cock grazing so deep inside her, that pleasure that snarls with just a tinge of pain.

“Take it, darlin. Fucking take all of it. My angel’s so good, always so good for me.” Planting his feet into the mattress, his thighs settle against her back as he starts to meet her thrusts, a broken cry dragging from her chest as she lurches forward in his hold.

“Yes, yes, yes. I’m so close, Joel. Please don’t stop.” Words she presses against his throat, collapsed on top of him as he fucks up into her, chasing that pleasure with snarling teeth so he can lay it at her feet. It snaps all at once, her whole body going tight and taut around him, a close cry of his name as he fucks her through it. She doesn’t drink, just a simple creature comfort to sink her teeth into the curve of his neck, a lick of pain that sends him right over the edge with her. 

They lay like that for a while, chest to chest, mouths sliding lazily together until sunlight starts to flicker through the window. She gets up with a sigh, his softening cock finally slipping out of her as she steps off the bed to close the shutters tight.

“I need a little taste.”

“Reckon there’s some left over, darlin.” The body is still warm, slumped on the floor. She crouches over it, still bare, flecks of red drying and flaking off her skin. His wrist, pale and perfect, untouched, just the place to sink her teeth and pull. Sweet satisfaction singing in her bones, she hums as she slips back into bed, curling up against her man and letting him lick the remnants from her mouth.

The story goes that a town lays somewhere tucked in the rolling dips of the plains that one day went dead. Women and children fleeing, and a fate far worse for the men. You can go searching for it in the daylight, when all lays still and silent, maybe catch a glimpse of a skeleton long picked over by some larger predator. Just don’t stay long enough to see the sun slip over the hills unless you’d like to meet a pair of lovers with a taste for a violence so pure, and an appetite that surely can’t be human. 

“You and me, darlin. Forever.” 

“Forever, Joel.” 

[jenosonlywife23]

Debut Day Dreams

The crowd roared like a storm, a tidal wave of emerald lightsticks rising and falling with every beat of the music. He stood in the center of it all, a figure that radiated an almost unfair magnetism. The blazer clung to his frame in all the right ways, his tie slightly askew like he’d just sprinted out of a romantic drama and landed directly into your fantasies. His silver hair, disheveled yet immaculate, caught the stage lights as though he was sculpted from moonlight itself. And then there were the glasses—those delicate, wire-rimmed frames that seemed to scream, Yes, I’m unattainable, but feel free to try.

He didn’t just stand on the stage; he owned it, exuding an effortless dominance that made your stomach twist in a way you hadn’t felt in years. He raised a hand to adjust his tie, the motion slow and deliberate, and the crowd erupted, their collective gasp audible over the deafening music.

But for you, it wasn’t just the show. It was personal.

You weren’t even supposed to be here tonight. Tickets had sold out within minutes, leaving you to sulk in your room, scrolling through endless fan edits of him that only fueled the ache of missing out. But then, two days ago, fate intervened.

Your best friend had barged into your apartment, waving a golden ticket with the triumphant glee of a lottery winner. “One ticket. Front section. You owe me your life,” they’d declared. You didn’t ask how they got it, and honestly, you didn’t care.

Now, standing amidst the frenzied sea of fans, you wondered if it was destiny. Because every move he made, every step, every glance—it all felt like it was meant to find its way to you.

Then it happened.

Mid-performance, as the music swelled and his movements became sharper, more feral, his eyes locked onto yours. You froze, the air knocked from your lungs as though he’d reached across the stage and stolen it. It wasn’t a fleeting glance; it was a look that lingered, deliberate and razor-sharp. His lips curled into a smirk, the kind that said, Yeah, I know exactly what I’m doing to you.

Your heart hammered in your chest, the noise of the crowd fading into nothingness. For a moment, it felt like the rest of the world ceased to exist. Just you and him, bound by an electric current that neither time nor space could sever.

Then he turned away, but the damage was done. Your pulse was racing, and you couldn’t tell if it was from excitement, disbelief, or sheer panic.

When the performance ended, he stepped forward for the closing ment, his voice low and smooth, carrying over the chaos. “Tonight’s been unforgettable,” he said, his gaze sweeping over the crowd like he was searching for something—or someone. “And I hope... I’ve made someone out there believe that anything is possible.”

The screams were deafening, but you caught it—the flicker of his eyes darting to your section, so brief you almost thought you imagined it. Almost.

The night spiraled into something surreal when you stumbled out of the venue, your mind replaying every second, every glance. You tried to shake it off—tried to convince yourself it was nothing more than the fantasy of a fan. But then your phone buzzed.

A notification.

You opened the app, your breath hitching as you saw it: a clip from tonight’s performance, already trending. The caption read, “Who was Jeno staring at?!” The video zoomed in on the exact moment his gaze lingered on yours. The comments were an avalanche of speculation:

“It’s the camera! Definitely the camera!”

“No way, he was looking at someone in the crowd.”

“Imagine being that person—whoever they are, I envy their whole life.”

You stared at the screen, your hands trembling. There was no way. Right? And yet, the way his eyes had pierced through the crowd, as if seeing through the chaos to find you...

The next morning, you woke to more notifications. Your mutuals had tagged you in countless posts about the clip. Someone had even DM’d you: “Is that you in the section he’s staring at? Girl, spill!!!”

Your lips pressed into a tight line. What could you even say? That it felt like he’d stripped your soul bare with a single glance? That his smirk haunted your dreams all night? That you wanted—no, needed—to know if he remembered you, too?

By the end of the week, the clip had gone viral, spawning fan theories, memes, and even amateur “body language analyses” claiming he’d definitely been looking at someone specific. Fans speculated endlessly. But deep down, you knew the truth.

And just when you thought the storm would settle, another twist.

One evening, as you mindlessly scrolled through your phone, a private message popped up. It was from a newly created account, no profile picture, no bio. Just a simple message that read:

"Did you believe me when I said anything is possible?"

Your breath caught. You stared at the message, heart pounding, fingers trembling as you typed back a single word.

"Yes."

The reply came almost instantly.

"Good. Let’s see if you believe it again."

[h0ney-mochi]

HELLO!! Can i request sub!fanboy!xiao x soft dom!idol (fem or gn) reader? feel free to ignore this! (i apologize for bad grammar & this is my first time requesting) Have a nice day! :D

Fanboy!Xiao x fem!reader ;; modern au (?)

NSFW/SMUT CONTENT (sub!fanboy!xiao, soft dom!reader, idol!reader, reader is afab but no pronoun use, praise, pegging, xiao calls reader 'ma'am' once or twice, longer scenario, not proofread, not too much nsfw tbh my bad)

Summary: Xiao is your biggest fan, yet he never approaches you, so you decide to do that yourself. Things escalate when you give him your number after your performance and you two hang out...

A/n: don't worry nonnie it's alright!! Ur grammar is fine, first time requesting can always be anxious <3 This was fun to write, I read like three kpop writings, one of danganronpa and then did research on idols BAHAHAH / sorry for taking such a long time to write this, hope this is well?! <3

Minor writer, dni if uncomfortable!

There was no denying that Xiao was your biggest fan. You noticed him at every concert, every meet-and-greet, every single event where you were. It made you feel sweet that he always showed up, light sticks and signs of your name, always waving them when you sang. You were also surprised that he could afford to come to every single event..?

But one thing you found interesting is that he never tried to talk to you like everyone else. Xiao was always in the back, just watching, looking at you. Your first thought was that he's shy. Made you a little upset that he didn't even try interacting with you. So you decided that you should start first.

You were aware that he had many accounts — fan pages — dedicated to you. Instagram with short clips of you on stage, pictures and merchandise he had bought, what not. Twitter was just posting updates, links to your newest videos, pictures and more. If he was able to film a longer video of you performing, he'd upload it along with his merchandise hauls.

And Xiao is over the moon when he notices you following each and every one. Almost falls over in his own room when you leave comments from time to time. He swears he'll come up to you some day, but he's so scared of messing up. What if he accidentally says something weird?? Xiao wouldn't dare. He wouldn't dare slip up and admit he daydreams of you.

Yet when your eyes met and you sent a heart gesture in his direction? Yes, he fainted and yes, you were worried as he was taken away. A day after that concert, you thought of sending a message to see if he was alright. But when you saw him tweeting about that, you couldn't help but laugh. He was cute.

...

It was the end of another concert. Everyone was leaving and you told one of your bodyguards to find a 'dark green haired male with highlights that looks pretty'. You watched from afar as the man left to find Xiao. He was typing on his phone, probably updates on one of his accounts.

Once the man approached him, he set his phone away in confusement, asking questions, if he had done something wrong. Your guard just shook his head and told him to follow. You walked away from sight, smoothing out your outfit. If Xiao won't approach you first, you will.

Once he realized he's going backstage, his nervousness grew higher. But when he steps inside and sees you with a smile, staring at him, he almost trips on air.

You chuckle before telling yout bodyguard that ge can leave for a while. He does, leaving you two alone. You look back at the boy and smile again.

"Your name is Xiao, correct?" You ask. You knew his name, of course, but you had to start conversation somehow. His hands are shaking and his eyes are wide, staring at you. Is this real? You're talking to him? You actually know his name like for real?

He feels lightheaded.

"Xiao, are you alright?" You ask again when he doesn't respond. He finally reacts, quickly nodding his head. "Y-Yeah, I'm Xiao," he speaks, voice trembling. You turn around to take your water bottle from the table so you could share.

You hand him the bottle with a smile, "You're nervous, I get it, but don't worry! I don't bite, promise." You watch as he slowly takes the bottle from you, quickly licking his dry lips. You could hear a quiet thank you. You just nodded.

"No, it's just-" Xiao swallows, opening it, still staring, "I can't believe you're talking to me personally? All alone?" You laugh and he feels his face heat up.

He really is shy. Adorable.

"Well, you never tried approaching me, so I thought I should do it first," you say while he drinks, "Although I do wonder, do you not want to talk or you just want to watch from the back?"

"Wait, no, I-" Xiao panics for a moment, but stops before he says anything different, "I mean, I really, really want to talk to you, it's been a dream of mine-" "But?"

"..But I don't think you'd have time for me?" He continues, blinking at you. You nod, "I understand that. But hey, I think I've got time before I go, we can talk! Besides I've wanted to speak to you for a long time."

Xiao's eyes widen, "..huh? Really?" "Oh, of course! Every time I come on stage, I always try to find you because I know you'll be there. It's sweet, cute really," you respond, taking the water bottle from him. You put it in your bag as Xiao trues to process what you just said.

You look at your phone and realize you should be leaving.

"Ah, Xiao, I'm terribly sorry, but I'll have to go," you turn to said male. He nods quickly and you notice a small smile on his face. "No, it's fine- you wanting to speak to me in the first place is enough," he says, voice growing quieter.

"Aw, alright. Well, how about we meet in one of the cafe's?" You suggest, quickly finding a piecw of paper and a pen, "If you'd want to and if you're not busy." You write down your phone number and give it to him.

Xiao takes it with a shaky hand and you smile at him. "Give me a call if you want, okay?" You take your bag, "If you're not busy tonight, that is." He stares at then at you. You put a hand on his shoulder and whisper, "I'll be waiting, Xiao."

His face heats up as you take his hand to lead him out. You say something to the bodyguard and the two of you are leaving. You look back at Xiao. He's staring at you with a slightly opened mouth, probably in surprise.

You send him a wink and look back. That made him get even redder as he hid his mouth in his hand.

...

He was in his hotel room, staring down at the paper. Well, only a day until you're going somewhere else. This will surely be his last chance to finally talk to you. And in private as well?

After a moment of trying to calm down, Xiao took his phone out. His nails tap on the screen, writing in your number. He was nervous, already feeling lightheaded again. He's gonna talk to you.

Before he can back out, he calls you, putting it on speaker. Each ringing sound made him more anxious. Maybe you joked around? Or maybe you gave him a different one? Well, you wouldn't do that, would you? Surely not-

The ringing suddenly stopped, being replaced with your voice.

"Xiao! You called!" Your voice rang through and he sighs in relief. "So, you're not busy? You'd like to meet up?" You ask and he could tell by your voice that you're definitely smiling.

"Um," he swallows, shaking his head, "Yeah, I'm free. You really want to— you want to talk to me?" "Yes, I do, I already said that, didn't I?" You chuckle. Then you started to speak about which Cafe to meet in and which hotel you're staying at. That's how you arranged a meet up.

He was sitting at one of the tables, nervously tapping the cup with his nails. He was looking around the cafe, waiting for you to show up. While he waited, Xiao took his phone out to post some short clips he took.

You slowly approached the table, sitting in front of him. He jumped at your sudden voice, immediately looking at you. You laugh, shaking your head. Xiao noticed the clothes change, of course, trying to disguise yourself.

"Ah, you didn't think I'd come in a vibrant fit, did you?" You say, smiling at him. He averted his eyes, coughing, "No, I didn't think that-" "Don't want fans to come running," you rest your head on your hand. Xiao looks back at you, "I didn't- I'm sorry, I didn't know if you'd want tea, so I just ordered one for myself."

You blink at him and then nod, "I'll order for myself, don't worry." That's how it went, you got a tea and the two of you chatted. Xiao wasn't too nervous anymore which made you feel better. At some point you speak about his social media. You notice his cheeks flush when you talk about how much you love seeing his updates. Never late.

He himself slipped in some shy compliments about you, all the while you enjoyed the tea. It was relaxing. Until it seemed like the time was over. It passed a little too quickly, so you asked him if he'd want to go to your hotel room, continue the chat.

Xiao was starstruck. You inviting him to your hotel room? This was too much for one day.

He immediately nodded, "Yeah, if I can, I want- we can talk more." You blink, slightly laughing, "You're eager." He goes quiet before chuckling, "My bad-"

..

It was quiet, a few sentences here and there until you both were inside the hotel room. Xiao was looking around the place. You closed the door, breaking the silence, "We can go out on the balcony. The view is nice."

He turned to look at you while you shrugged. You took his hand and he followed you to the balcony door, face warming up.

Cold air brushed against your skin as you walked out, letting go of his hand. You rest your hands on the railing, gazing up. Xiao went next to you, looking down at the streets.

"Look up, pretty," you say. He glances at you before looking in. There were some stars scattered along the sky. It went silent.

Xiao was trying to think of something to say, while sliding his hand towards yours. Your hand was warm and he wanted to feel it again.

Should he even be here? Will he get in trouble for being like this with you? He's just a fan, after all. Idols shouldn't be this close with fans, no? But.. he doesn't care for it. You wanted to talk, so here he is. This is a blessing, why should he question it?

You noticed and you waited. Waited for the touch.

His fingers brushed against yours, eyes darting up to your face. You sighed, looking at him. Xiao's eyes widened, pulling his hand away, but you caught it. He stared at you, then back at his hand then back at you. You smiled softly, interwining your fingers with his.

"If you want to hold my hand, just tell me," you say, watching as his face goes red. You continue to stare. His eyes are pretty. He's pretty. Could you make him more flustered?

He's special. And mad attractive.

Xiao is tearing his gaze every few seconds. When you moved your thumb against his hand, he feels lightheaded once again. Oh, the simple things you do to him.

"By the way, I hope I didn't pressure you into meeting up with me," you speak, turning towards him, "You can always leave if you want-" "No-!" He squeezes your hand, "I didn't want to deny, oh no, I've wanted to talk to you for far too long—" You tilt your head, listening to him.

He shakes his head, "I want to be with you as long as I can, being this close to you is just- [name], you're- Can I call you that?" You can't help but laugh a little, nodding, "Yeah, you can. You talk too much." Before he could respond, you continued, "That's cute. I like it."

His breathing hitches. He's blinking again, looking away from you. Cute?

You pull him a little closer by his hand and lean a little down. He gasps, surprise evident in his expression. "You like being called cute?" You ask, lidding your eyes. "I- I didn't mean to make anything weird, I'm sorry," he quickly speaks, but you shake your head.

"Shh. You didn't make anything weird," you put your other hand on his chin, pulling him closer, "Just answer me." Xiao breathes in, eyes quickly flickering down to your lips, then back to your eyes. He feels the flutter of butterflies in his stomach.

"..Maybe?" He whispers, swallowing. Will you call him weird? He certainly doesn't want to be seen as one of your weird fans. He isn't, but when you're so close to his face, he can feel your breath, oh God, you're warm, oh-

You slowly go a little closer, tilting your head just so your lips could brush against his. His eyes are widening again as he tries to not move. "Xiao," you whisper, "You're my biggest fan, aren't you?" He responds with a quiet 'I think?' which makes you chuckle.

"I'd like to give you a little reward for being so supportive all this time," you whisper, "Would you accept it?" Xiao immediately responds, "Y-yes, yes of course!" Oh dear, oh dear oh gorgeous..

You finally kissed him. He almost fell down from the sudden feeling, but you caught him, wrapping your hands around him. Xiao's hands went to your cheeks, kissing you back almost immediately.

When you pulled away for a moment to tell him to part his lips, you saw how flushed his face was, he was already trying to catch his breath even if the kiss wasn't that long. Yes, you didn't lie. He was cute. Wide eyes staring into yours as he nods at your words, going to kiss you again.

He did as you said previously. You pushed your tongue against his, a sudden noise being drowned in the kiss. Xiao's hand moved to your hair, tangling into it, trying to ground himself and not get too lost in the moment.

Oh, did you taste sweet. He never even imagined you could kiss so good. Kiss him so good. It was too much, it made him feel like he was flying — one reason as to why he was tugging on your hair.

After a moment, you pulled away again. "Let's go back inside," you say, smiling at him, "It's getting cold. Won't be good getting sick." Xiao just nods, looking away. You let go of him and he does the same. Walking back inside the warm room, he closes the door. When Xiao turns to you, you're pulling him by his hand towards you.

He's already latching onto your lips, free hand going to your cheek. You kissed back while you lead him to the bed, breaking the kiss to tell him to lay down.

Xiao gets on the bed, looking up at you. You can't help but giggle, getting on top. "Is this okay?" You ask, pushing him down. He nods eagerly, "Yes, yes it is, please don't stop." You nod, leaning down to press a kiss on his neck. You slowly kiss up to his jaw before going back down. One of your hands was on his chest and you could feel how his heart was racing. You then sucked on a spot, making him moan.

His hand goes to his mouth while turning his head away. You sucked a bruise before pulling away, leaving a kiss on it. "Are you embarrassed?" You whisper, pressing more kisses to his skin. Xiao slowly nods, swallowing. Your hand on his chest goes to take his hand away from his mouth.

"Use your words, pretty," you say and suck on another spot. He makes noise, hands going to your sides. "Yes, I'm– You're right-" he mumbles out. You press a kiss on the mark and smile, "Good boy." A shaky sigh comes from his throat.

"Oh?" You pull away to look down at him, "You like that, don't you?" Xiao turns his head, facing you, quietly responding, "Maybe.." "Gosh, you're pretty," you say, "Can I mess you up?" Your boldness makes him raise his eyebrows. "What?"

"Oh, my apologies, that was weird," you glance away, laughing slightly, "I shouldn't say that." "Please," Xiao mumbles and you look at him, "Please do that.."

You stare. He's looking up at you with pleading eyes, breathing in. "Please do whatever you want with me, to me, please," he pulls you back down, blinking at you, "Please, I want you to— I-" He doesn't continue. So you speak.

"You want me to what? Tell me," you trace your finger on his cheek, "Tell me what you've been thinking of this whole time." He's lost for words. But when you look at him like that-

"I want you to touch me," he whispers, shutting his eyes, "Please, I want you to do whatever, please, just fuck me—" "Repeat that a little louder, Xiao," you kiss his cheek. And he does. "I want you to fuck me, [name], please, I need you.."

You gave him a peck on the lips before saying, "Good boy. Wait here a moment, okay? I want you to undress." He nods and you get off the bed. You go to one of your suitcases, opening it up. Xiao was taking his clothing off while time to time watching what you were doing.

After finding what you needed, you turned back to him. His eyes slightly widened. Was that.. Are those.. Why is that in your suitcase in the first place? Why would you carry around a strap in your inventory?

Well, who cares about that now.

You went to put down what you were holding — a strap and a bottle of lube. You got onto the bed, looking at Xiao. He stared at you, then back at the stuff. "C'mon, pretty boy, lay down," you say and he slowly does it.

You spread his legs and he let out a noise of surprise while you opened up the bottle.

Xiao stared as you coated your fingers. You glanced at him for a moment, "You're beautiful like this, you know?" He bit his lip, blinking. "I'm not saying you're not always beautiful, you are," you continue while slowly pushing a finger inside, "But right now you're the prettiest."

He sighs, looking away, "Don't— ah- Don't say that, m-ma'am.." You look at him, pushing another inside, "Ma'am?" Xiao closes his eyes, mumbling something before suddenly moaning.

Yes, that felt weird and he never imagined he'd have something up his ass. That something being your fingers.

You sped them up, smirking at him. He's trying to say something for sure, but his moans interrupt everything. "Shh, don't be too loud, okay?" You slow down and then take your fingers out, "I want you to be good and a little more quiet, got it?" He suppresses a whine before nodding at you.

...

Xiao gripped the sheets under him, burying his face in a pillow. You held his hips, nails digging into his skin, leaving behind half moon indents. His attempts at staying quiet didn't work well.

"Oh, pretty boy," you bring a hand down to his hair, pulling his head up, "Do you love being this loud for me?" He mewls, eyes fluttering open, it being the only response you got. You sigh, picking up the pace, Xiao moaning louder.

Leaning down to his neck, you press a kiss on his shoulder. You then bite down, sucking a mark while your grip on his hair loosens a little. He groans, tongue falling out, "M-ma'am, fuck, I- feels sogood-!"

"Mhm, just like that," you smile, taking your hand away from his hair, "Such a good boy." You wrap your hand around his dick which makes Xiao jolt, head falling downwards.

"W-wait—!" He moans, gasping as his hand goes to grip the pillow, "I'm gonna- [name], I'm gonna cum—!" You just leave kisses on his neck and back, jerking him quicker. His moans turn into whines and gasps.

His grip on the sheets and pillow is tight, drool stains visible. "Gah‐ Stop, wait- I'm- gonnacum, please, fuck—" his voice goes into desperation, his thighs beginning to shake. You smile before speaking, "Go on, cum for me, pretty. Be a good boy, yeah?"

Xiao trembles in your hands, staining your fingers and the sheets below him. You slow down your thrusts and your pace on his dick. You straighten your back, your hand from his hip going to massage his back as he falls down onto the pillow.

He's panting, still slightly shaking. You take your hand away from him, looking at it. You giggle, glancing down at the sweaty Xiao. "You've messed up my hand, that's cute," you say, licking away a few traces. He turns his head a little too see you. Swallowing, he speaks, "You're.. amazing.. Mmh, that was good ..."

You pull out and he collapses. You sit down, slightly chuckling, "Just for you, Xiao." He sighs, closing his eyes, mumbling something. You tilt your head, "I can't hear you." He groans, hiding his face. You get up to lean over him.

"I just pegged you, there's nothing to be embarrassed about," you say, kissing his hair. Xiao turns to look at you again. Oh, did he look messed up. Messy hair, traces of saliva on his chin..

"Um.." He blinks, making eye contact with you, "Thank you.." You smile before kissing him. He kisses back, pretty much melting in your mouth again. After a few seconds you pull away, still smiling at him.

"You're welcome," you whisper, "My best fan needs a little gift after all."

[gay-little-axolotl]

my designs for the sillies!!

elaboration on the designs + some hcs under the cut (it’s a long one folks!)

Ocean: she/her, lesbian, aroace-spec; her hair is naturally a Fucking Curly Mess, so she straightens it out, sprays it, and uses a headband and hair-clips; Ocean always has a pencil behind her ear in case she needs to write something down, but she always forgets she put it there; she has a coat on her waist because a long-sleeved shirt and a vest is not enough. she must not feel an ounce of cold.

Noel: he/she/they, bigender, gay; his hair is also a Fucking Curly Mess so he just puts some gel on and prays to satan it works; Noel tries to tone it down like his mother told him so he doesn’t wear pride merch to school or anything, but he does wear black earrings and black nail polish

Mischa: he/him, bisexual; I basically tried to make him look like the type of person my mom would point at in the street and go “that’s what satan does to a person!!”; Mischa constantly looks like he’s been hit by a bus, he says it’s because he gets into fights, but he’s just a fucking wreck; backwards hat, bi pin and star of David pin because I saw @lemon69lol’s post and have decided that Jewish Mischa is canon now; Ukrainian flag phone case!!; Ricky bought him these BRIGHT neon green crocs for his 18th birthday and he wears it every day (Noel wants to shred those fucking crocs);

Ricky/Savannah: any pronouns + neos, genderfluid, bisexual, demiromantic?; I gave them the neon space cat headphones and crutches as always, but I added spikes to the crutches so my guy can kick some ableist ass, and an AAC device because of an art post THAT I CAN’T FIND! if someone has that one drawing of Ricky with an AAC device strapped to his crutch tell me because I want to give credit to the artist but I CAN’T; genderfluid + any pronouns pin; shoes that aren’t matching and a dress over pants because fuck the dress-code

Jane Doe: she/they/it/doll, unlabeled; I have no idea where this design came from but, Jane with X eyes, I guess; I think I was originally basing her off of Spinel but fuck, what do I know?; doll is based on my Emilia Jane Doe

Constance: she/they, demi-girl, sapphic; I tried to make her hair resemble Trinity Constance because I ADORE their Constance!; hoop earrings and braces because I said so; rainbow socks because she’s fuckin’ queer; colorful band-aids for reasons I will not be telling you, sorry

uniform insp

[thefrogman]

On fucking up...

The house has been incredibly quiet since my dad passed. And that quiet turns into loneliness quite often for me. So last night I decided to use every spoon I had to go to the movies. I swallowed my social anxiety and went out into the world.

The theater had these recliners that sit on a raised step. But when you are actually sitting in the seat you can't see that step. Once the movie was over I forgot about the step. I got up to leave and my ankle caught it on the way down. I flew forward and crashed into the back of a row of seats.

A middle aged gentlemen saw this and said, "Gee buddy, this your first day walking?"

And the other 8 people in the theater gave a boisterous laugh.

I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

Making a mistake feels bad.

Making a mistake in public is an embarrassing lesson in humility.

And making a mistake witnessed by 15,000 people is terrifying.

When you get something wrong and people call you out, your first instinct is to dig in. Everyone wants to dig in. Which is usually the worst possible reaction. You want to defend yourself. You don't want to believe you were wrong. And you start spewing out reasons why you can't be wrong. I think the current vernacular calls this "tweeting through it."

Over the years I have tried very hard to fight that instinct to dig in. To consider what people have said and recheck my facts to see if my original information could be inaccurate. And sometimes you find out you were right and strengthen your point of view.

But when you find out you were duped or misunderstood the information, there is nothing quite like that sinking feeling.

And when you are wrong in front of 15,000 people... that sinking feeling goes to the center of the earth.

You get sucked into a thought spiral...

"How do I fix this? Do I send a message to all 15,000 people? Do I just post a video of me repeatedly punching myself in the face? Do I delete the post? No, can't delete the post, people will think you are trying to hide your mistake. Plus all those reblogs."

You have to accept the fact that even if you publicly admit you were wrong, a lot of those people are never going to see it. They are going to believe the thing and possibly spread it to others.

You've created a runaway freight train and you just have to watch it crash into stuff.

The sad thing is I have learned this lesson a few times in my 10+ years of being a minor public figure. It has caused me to be so paranoid about passing along bad information that I will fact check things to death. Sometimes 5 or 6 sources. I'll look at reputable sources and disreputable sources. And I'll try to corroborate those disreputable sources just as an exercise to give me confidence I have the best information at that time.

But the other night I finished watching John Wick 4 and was high on action juice. I started watching every John Wick video on YouTube. My history shows about 40 videos. And at 2 or 3am I heard the director being hyperbolic in a podcast clip and thought a fun fact was too great not to share.

I thought, "I'm not telling people to eat horse paste for COVID. I'm not pretending I'm a submarine expert who knows exactly how to save people at the bottom of the ocean. It's just a flippy gun maneuver. I'm sure Chad knows what he is talking about."

So I posted the thing on my personal blog with sleep in my eyes and figured it was fine. And after 500 notes no one had really said anything, so I thought it was okay to share on my main blog.

And that was my biggest mistake. I deemed the subject matter to be trivial so I lowered my standards.

I forgot that damn step was there and flew into the seats.

There are dishonest people on the internet. Tons of them. People who will post dangerous misinformation without a care. People who have a pattern of lying. Grifters who thrive on baiting people for clicks. And I think it has caused us to react to bad information with hostility by default. People forget that there are still honest people who just make a mistake or get duped. Yet they can still feel the need to make people feel stupid for believing something that seems so obvious to them.

I have been guilty of this myself. I have called people out forgetting they are a human being behind that social media avatar.

The first person to call me out just said, "This is not true, LMFAO."

That's not helpful.

People made me feel like I was a liar. And I am very sensitive to that. For years doctors, family, and friends were skeptical of my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. And when someone accuses me of being dishonest, I get very anxious and see red.

But I tried very hard not to dig in. I asked for more information--for evidence. Just point me in a direction so I can figure out what's true. But I got angry when all they said was that I was wrong without elaboration. Which is another form of digging in.

I guess I'm asking people to start with compassion before hostility. Maybe if we don't know the person or they have been a mostly reliable source, we can give people a chance. If the person has a history of deception, that's a different story. Bad faith is usually pretty easy to spot.

I remember for a long time I used to love telling people their blood was blue until it was exposed to oxygen. It was just the funnest fun fact I had ever heard and I *needed* others to know the thing I knew. Giving people knowledge can be intoxicating. But then I told my good friend who just became a medical resident and he was like, "I don't remember that in medical school. I think that might be an urban legend."

I still got that sinking feeling and I still had flashbacks to every person I told... but I was grateful he was so kind when he corrected me.

You can correct someone with kindness.

I'd ask that you imagine yourself in their shoes. Think about how embarrassing it is when you get something wrong. And just be like, "Hey, I think you got some bad information. Here's why."

When someone faceplants into a row of seats, metaphorically or otherwise, maybe ask if they are okay before laughing at them.

[angelus-scripturae]

Heyy! Could you do headcannons for the boys with a partner that is a very well known youtuber/streamer? Thank youuuu! <3 (also I'm Dyslexic so sorry for any spelling mistakes!)

Of course! I actually wanted to write something like this soon so thank you for giving me a reason to!

Also i’m dyslexic too i very heavily rely on autocorrect lol :))

ALSO IM SORRY ABOUT MY PROLONGED ABSENCE ONE OF THE PEOPLE HERE WHO HELPED LEFT SO IM TRYNA LEARN TO WRITE SMUT SO I CAN KEEP GOONG WITH IT AND NOW ONE OF MY IRL FRIENDS IS HERE (sorry mate) PLEASE BARE WITH MEZ

The Boys headcannons for an influencer!reader.

Pairings: EddieVR x Reader, juicyfruitsnacks x reader, joshdub x reader, sleepymully x reader, YourNarrator x reader.

Warnings: Bad language, mentions of guns/ robbery, shitty writing.

Eddie

I feel like you would be a paranormal investigation channel in this case

Or a channel that does scary short films/ skits

You upload your clips from streams and videos onto tiktok and other social media

One time when doing a “Worlds scariest tiktoks?” video, someone had sent in one of your videos for him to react to

He found it so scary that he reached out to you.

He asked for you to help him and the boys at some haunted places and you two just began to bond and become close.

One night he invited you out to ‘record’ with him and the boys but when you arrived, he was there with a hand made poster.

Almost like a promposal

At first, you started laughing out of confusion but when you realised it was serious you immediately said yes to dating him.

Fans had notice how close you two had gotten (even more than before) and started theorising.

Eventually, you told them after having a talk about where you wanted the relationship to go

Once everyone knew, the edits and posts talking about the two of you flooded in.

You both loved how sweet everyone was

Of course you both got hate from fans as does every internet-open relationship between two well loved people

However, all that matters is the two of you.

You help each other when the hate gets a bit extreme with love and breaks from socials

Eventually after a few years, Eddie takes you out to ‘record’ once again

However, when you get to the studio you were due to record at, there’s a small table with a candle in the middle

You turn around to ask Eddie what was going on, you saw him on one knee with a small, black, velvet box in hand

It seemed like a cheesy and cliché situation but as he asked you to marry him, you barely let him finish before saying yes.

Let’s just say fans went crazy finding this out

Narrator

You probably know what I’m gonna say

You’re a VR voice actor channel.

like the ones that troll people in vr with different voices

or just a normal va channel but we’re going with VR rn

He was recording with the boys when he started with his deep voice in a sort of fake-flirting situation

You gave it right back ofc

He was startled at first but then you set up a hole storyline and his fans loved it.

At the time, you hadn’t known who he was

but your comments did

they urged to to do more with him and so you reached out

you made more and more content together to the point the fans shipped you to the moon and back

you couldn’t deny your feelings for him any longer

so one day in a call with him you asked him out.

He said yes almost immediately

then backtracked and tried to act “cool” about it

that made you giggle

so you began dating and the fans could tell

Narrator became so much more bashful and touchy around you

especially in person

Although they new for sure when he proposed in a video where you all went to disney land and they loved it

so did you

You started crying

I feel like you were at the wishing well thing and you said something like

“i wish to marry my best friend” or smth as a joke

then you turned around and he was on one knee

The amount of edits with sappy songs in the background…

thousands

Juicy

You’re a streamer in this case

You were playing your favourite game on stream

it just so happened to be juicy’s favorite as well

Let’s say the boys were doing a “if you laugh you donate”

Juicy laughed and chose you to donate to

Then got hyped when he saw the game

Had to donate like $100

you got fucking hype at the money amount

You also sort of knew who he was so you freaked out that too

let’s time skip to after you ended stream

you checked your phone to find a twitter notif from him asking to record with you sometime

You obviously instantly accepted duh

so you did

you knew you liked him but never once thought he felt the same i mean it was just professional right?

WRONG

he was head over heels for you

always finding ways to be close to you or talk to you

Always trying to make you laugh

I mean always

makes him happy y’know

when he asked you out, he was half asleep on a discord call and just blurted it out

You said yes but had to remind him in the morning

He then got bummed out about not being able to say it extravagantly

accepted it none the less

Mully

You were dating wayyyy before you began youtube

Usually playing horror games or watching scary animations

However you weren’t very public

the fans only found you when you posted your engagement tweet. ikr

they went insane over it and bombarded you both with questions

“when’s the wedding?”

“how long have you been together?”

And the obvious jokes

a few people were upset you kept it from them but it’s your life innit lol

You can keep whatever you want from them

You even posted a vlog with him planning your wedding.

The fans had no clue when it was but waited semi-patiently

WENT INSANE when you dropped the date

on the day, you posted on insta with all the cute photos of you two kissing and having fun

but had a VERY cursed caption

he however posted cursed videos like you drunk after the reception or

any of the boys doing dumb shit

but had one of the sweetest captions you’ve ever seen

when the full video of the wedding dropped there were HUNDREDS of edits made

almost brought a tear to your eye :,(

Josh

G-mod

You met in G-mod

now I think i could stop it there but i’ll go into detail

you were kinda fuckin around and you were pretending to be a receptionist

when juicy and reekid came in doing their usual shenanigans trying to rob you

the audacity

You switched it onto them ofc

and it made amazing content so he asked for your discord

you didn’t talk for a few weeks before you got a video recommended to you saying

“Psycho receptionist pulled a gun on me!”

You watched it and soon realise it was what you had done

You sent him a message along the lines of

“Psycho? i though i was pretty tame.”

He then sent you a message apologising and offering to change the title

you then pointed out the fact you were joking and he went back to usual josh

Then asked you to join him and Eddie for a scary discord video

you agreed and had a blast

I mean of course you did with your effortless humour

through that you gained quite a large following on your main channels

you continued to record with josh but also focused on your own channels too

after about half a year he confessed to you

i’m the middle of recording a G-mid video

at first you thought it was a bit

when you realised it was serious you instantly agreed.

you let the relationship move quite slow

and the fans loved you both together when you became public on your one year anniversary (with a tweet)

though many people pressured you to tell them if you had plans for marriage

your answer was always the same

“we’ll see how it goes.”

Hi lovelies! sorry for such a long absence life is fucking me over recently and I’m hoping you’re not too mad for the absence

also thank yous for 75 followers <33333