#I need to teleport fr

[youmarin]

AHHHHHHHHH NOOO WAAAAY YOU'RE TELLING ME HE'S GOING TO THE US FOR THE 1ST TIME NOW?! TO LA AND TO DC?! SO CLOSE BUT SO FAR AWAY STILL. ����💔

[meeks-beas]

I hate having bodily functions at inconvenient times

(I have to pee but I’m in bed and tired which is rare)

[roylustang]

I hate money sooooo fucking much bro it’s not even real. It’s a piece of paper. Pieces of paper and numbers on a screen that dictate every aspect of your life. I’m gonna die.

[twstowo]

Hello!! Idk if ur doing requests but ahem cld i maybe request like a clingy yuu/reader with the second years and malleus?? like the reader is constantly following them around, and stuff,, like a small Floyd typa reader ^_^ i really love ur writing and i wld rlly love to see this dbsnsn if it's not a problem ofc!! :D

♡︎For context, Bestie Anon sent this ask on 20th of february and I’m only answering now, I would like to apologize for this, no like fr, ANON I will buy you cake if you want, LIKE FR what I did is criminal

⋆⋅☆Malleus:

Who gave you permission to be this adorable? Malleus loves you so much. He loves the attention you give him, the fact that you want to spend YOUR TIME WITH HIM AND THAT YOU CLINGE TO HIM?! He is in love. No, you don’t understand, he is IN LOVE. You make him feel so soft, and he will fight anyone for you. He wants nothing more than to spend the whole day with you and talk for hours and he isn’t ashamed to show it. He will literally teleport next to you as soon as he remotely starts missing you.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Riddle:

He is flustered with your clinginess. You are always way too close for his own liking but he doesn’t have the guts to tell you anything you make his heart go BUM. The type of guy that when you two are alone he will also be clingy, not right away in the beginning of the relationship, but if he sees that you are clingy and that you are fine with being close to him he will start thinking that maybe it’s also fine fro him to open up and be like that with you too.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Ruggie:

He is also into it, he is the type of guy that if you hug him he will joke about you being so clingy but then he is the last person to let go of the hug, if you don’t let go of him he will just stay there in your arms for the rest of the day. Enjoys your company so much to the point he will feel weird if he doesn’t see you for a whole day. Show up at your dorm with food, that he buyed with Leona’s money, and spends the rest of the day cuddling with you.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Azul:

I’m a firm believer that he is also really clingy BUT he has this image that he must maintain for his business. Politely pats your back if you too are in front of people and tells you to meet him back at the VIP room later, when he arrives to the VIP room he literally won’t leave you, he would stay the whole day attached to you if it wasn’t for his work. Floyd once took a picture of Azul laying on your lap while you patted his head on the VIP sofa, up to this day Floyd keeps on blackmailing Azul with it.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Jade:

He will just do that “Oya?” and laugh at your antics. Maybe he plays around with your hair while finding your clinginess endearing. I do see Jade as someone who tends to feel lonely since he doesn’t have many people to talk to or join him in his hobbies. So if you give him all that attention that he never had, he will probably want to return it by giving you his full attention whenever you speak about your interests. He is still a bit of a tease, but he can’t deny that he enjoys all the attention you give him.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Floyd:

If this guy is in a good mood, he will be so annoying, with annoying I mean you two are going to be clingy with each other, and if you want to leave him, because you need to go to class, you won’t. He won’t allow it, you aren’t going anywhere anymore. His arms are your new home, you don’t need anything else. Type of guy that will spot you and just hugs you and just lift you up and takes you whenever he feels like going at the moment, you two will now be going on a date.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Kalim:

You guys legit made Jamil throw up. The two of you are so clingy, when Kalim sees you he literally never lets go of you, as soon as he spots you you will be spending the rest of the day with him, and he keeps on hugging you, giving you little check kisses or hold your hand and YOU you just retrieve all of his affection tenfold.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Jamil:

Oh no. He isn’t found of public displays of affection as I have stated before, but once you two are behind closed doors he is fine with it, he doesn’t mind you dotting on him that much, the hugs and kisses and all the attention that you give him, quite the oposite he actually really craves all of that. He will have a hard time retrieving the affection through, but give him some time and he will slowly start open up about all of those sappy interactions.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Silver:

I’m a firm believer that Silver is an extreme soft boy that loves affection and YOU CAN’T CHANGE MY MIND. Of course that his image of affection was different than yours, type of guy that does lots of acts of service, whatever you need, call him and he will be there, so when you start being clingy with him that open a door that he had never really though about and he loves it. He won’t be as clingy as you are but he will always try to retrive you affection even if in small gestures, you hug him? He gives you a small kiss on top of your head. You hold his hand? He kisses your wrist.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

Hey hey hey!! Any chance we could get a headcanon list for Remy LeBeau x mutant!reader where they can teleport similar to nightcrawler? I hope you have a good day/night 😊🫶🏻

this is tew cute. We’re gonna pretend he never got with rogue ): sorry rogue

𝜗❀᧓ yours is like Kurt’s, except you teleport at light speed, faster than his. and yours come with a perfect memory, allowing you to recall places clearly. You can teleport anywhere, as long as you could remember it. plus let’s just say your eyes go red for a brief second before and after you teleport.

𝜗❀᧓ when you first join, Remy is very kind towards you, does things like extending a hand for you to stand up despite you never needing it.

𝜗❀᧓ he’s charming, kind, hot, you can’t really help it when you fall for him.

𝜗❀᧓ you knew you liked him when you both were on a mission together, and you were teleporting behind someone, about to throw something at them. Another man behind you caught you off guard, and was about to shoot you when Remy saved your ass :3

𝜗❀᧓ you stared at him in awe, him smiling at you for a brief moment, asking you. “You good?” To which you quickly nodded your head at.

𝜗❀᧓ once you both r actually together, he’s the happiest a man can freaking be ! U both are the it couple fr

𝜗❀᧓ he loves your red eyes before and after the teleportation. finds them very very cool :3 you will catch him staring at them on multiple occasions.

𝜗❀᧓ also never gets used to you using your powers randomly in the house lol 😭 he gets scared out of his mind and jumps a lil sometimes when you teleport behind him in the kitchen or something and you’re just like “??”

something like this LMFAOO

“Lord,” he jumped slightly when you suddenly appeared in front of him, you already stuffing your face with the brownies he was making. He let out a chuckle, you looking at him with a quirked eyebrow.

“You scared me, cher.” He explained, leaning on the counter next to you, his arms folded.

“Oh. Sorry.” You said sheepishly with a shrug.

𝜗❀᧓ he loves when you both mess with the others sometimes, scaring them or randomly popping into their rooms. you’ve both caught some people in some odd acts.

𝜗❀᧓ and yes you get along with Kurt looll. you’re his bsf. you, Remy and him always go out together and he’s always talking about how he’s the third wheel. has to watch you guys kiss a lot and he’s like smh

𝜗❀᧓ you both work together really well during missions. your powers go together super well.

𝜗❀᧓ n knee ways you both are the cutest fucking duo alive ! power couple. it couple.

[redbullgirly]

The Dancer [FA14 smau]

Fernando Alonoso x dancer!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Few months after, everybody laughs when they remember the rumors about Fernando Alonso and Taylor Swift dating. Would they laugh though if they new it maybe wasn't so far from truth as it may seem? Well, one thing's for sure - Y/N and Fernando will laugh very much while soft launching their relationship... and confusing everyone with swiftie content thanks to her job.

Warnings: Maybe wrong dates and timeline of The Eras Tour, but whatever XD.

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by alex_albon, zhouguanyu24, pierregasly and 562,109 others

fernandoalo_oficial I was taken by the view like we were in Paris... romance is not dead.

view all 4001 comments

user1 i dont think my brain can comprehend so many things all at once😨

user2 right? I'M IN SHOCK

user3 fr fernando wants to give us a heart attack😭

lilymhe I see what you did here...

alex_albon I indeed see what he did here too...😏

user4 guys tell us what he did pls I'm begging youuuu

user5 Alonso soft launching was not on my 2024 bingo card

user6 him soft launching with TAYLOR SWIFT wasn't on MY bingo card 😭

user7 How he's suddenly so hot in the first pic? Like damn sir okay🫢

user8 girlfriend effect is real y'all

georgerussell63 Mate you can't do that to me, I just woke up 😧

user8 lmfao princess georgie is as confused as we are xd

fernandoalo_oficial sorry mate, don't get wrinkles🤞

gerogerussell63 What even is that choice of emoji?

fernandoalo_oficial well, someone is original with an emoji and someone is original with a pose... choice is yours 😃

georgerussell63 Stop it's been almost a year 😭

user9 not them bullying each other💀

user10 Yeah the duo we didn't know we needed

user11 I saw the first picture and almost spat out my drink in shock of such a hot photo of Nando. Then I swiped and literally choked on it because the last think I'd ever expect from his photo dump is a soft lunch of some baddie girl🫣

user12 I am delusional for thinking Taylonso could still have a chance, aren't I?

user13 well i mean you basically answered it yourself so... yeah XD

user14 OMG WHAAAAAAT😱

user15 oh no Fernando is not single anymore💔

user16 I think I accidentally teleported into some alternative universe... what is thiiiis?

user17 REAL

user18 fuck me this man seriously used lyrics from paris by ts💀

user19 Idk why but I kinda like this new side of Fernando😻

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by taylorswift, fernandoalo_oficial, carmenmmundt and 5,234 others

tagged: taylorswift and 9 others

yourusername crazy performance, even crazier night out and the most crazy training the day after... I call that the life of a dancer😻🎉 also my head and heart did go vroom vroom after the second pic

view all 218 comments

taylorswift I call that the eras tour life!💗

yourusername yes ma'am!

user1 damn she got our queen Taylor replying to her posts... how does it feel to live my dream?!😭

yourusername amazing! 🥰

user2 such a shame my mum didn't force me to try dancing when I was little... I could have been at podium next to Taylor Swift right now 😃

liked by the author

user3 You are such a good dancer, the shows wouldn't be the same without you Y/N!

yourusername omg thank u sm I really appreciate that!!🥹

user4 sooo... are we gonna just ignore Fernando in the likes or what???

user5 THAT'S WHAT I CAME HERE TO SAY

user6 fr I need some crazy detective from twitter to figure this out😫

carmenmmundt Hey, could you give me and lilymhe vip tickets...?

yourusername I mean... everything can be done 😏 I'll just need to ask mother Taylor bc I just used my plus one at the last concert🫡

lilymhe OH MY GOD WE LOVE YOU Y/N

yourusername I love you girls as well, we have to finally meet sometimes!!!

carmenmmundt Yeah, I think we'll have chance at the end of February at the latest😉

user7 WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE

user8 Omg are they hinting Y/N at the Bahrain GP?? F1 season starts at the end of February right?!

goergerussell63 Well hello there, nice to meet you Y/N... given the fact my dear girlfriend doesn't care about me, could you give me and alex_albon vip tickets as well?😊

alex_albon Yeah Y/N we are very big fans😊

yourusername everything for the guys that go vroom vroom🫡

alex_albon Like your heart

yourusername exactly!

user9 I AM FREAKING OUT

user9 MY BRAIN HURTS FROM HOW MUCH IS GOING ON

user9 WAIT FUCK I THINK I GOT IT

user9 AAAHHH I FEEL LIKE SHERLOCK MF HOLMES

twitter & messages between Y/N and Fernando

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by selenagomez, fernandoalo_oficial, francisca.cgomes, astonmartinf1 and 8,234 others

yourusername preparing for the next season🤞

view all 1,029 comments

user1 y/n is literally living my dream life rn

georgerussell63 Oh no... he infected you with that emoji, didn't he?

yourusername we'll never know... maybe I infected HIM with it

gourgerussell63 I think higher of you and your taste in emojis

yourusername aww thanks princess georgie how sweet🥰

georgerussell63 I take it back

user2 HELLO?! what is happening💀

dancer1 excuse me little miss y/n... is that a man i'm seeing?🤨

yourusername well... maybe

dancer2 Be fr she's trying to soft launch him for like a month now😭

dancer1 okay i'm calling you rn STAY WHERE YOU ARE

user3 Guys why's nobody talking about the paddock pass in the 5th picture!!!!

user4 omg that's a PADDOCK PASS?😱

user5 yeah it is I noticed it thanks to this comment

user6 Wait... does that mean her and Fernando have been together longer? Because she already went to a race before the winter break??

user5 idk girl we don't even know for sure she's really dating him😓

user6 idgaf about who's dating her bc even without bf y/n's sooo hot like damn... mommy🥵

user7 I'm so confused... is this Alonso's girl or not?

user8 trust me user7 - we'd all like to know that😭

user9 😍

yourusername and fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram stories

yourusername story has been seen by taylorswift, lance_stroll and 13,634 others

fernandoalo_oficial story has been seen by charles_leclerc, astonmartinf1 and 308,003 others

user1 replied to yourusername story: is that an f1 driver there y/n

dancer1 replied to yourusername story: Hope he'll not disappoint me in person when you talked about him sm 😒

yourusername ohhh trust me you'll love him just as I do🥰

dancer1 omg bleeeeh I hope not 🫣

user2 replied to yourusername story: your friends are so pretty😩

taylorswift replied to yourusername story: When you'll take him to get my approval??

yourusername soon taylor, soon... I'm just afraid it'll break the internet lol

taylorswift I think we're used to that already with Travis at this point😂

yourusername true😭

fernandoalo_official replied to yourusername story: 🔥

yourusername it's going to be okay, they'll love you 🫶

fernandoalo_oficial how did you know I was nervous amor?

yourusername I saw you literally shaking when you left to the bathroom love...😹

yourusername oh they're back come quickly!!💞

fernandoalo_oficial onmw

user3 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: IS THIS THE CONFIRMATION WE NEEDED?!

user4 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I see what you're doing here old man 👀

user5 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: soft launch slowly turning into a hard launch and I'm here for it!!!!

dancer1 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I guess you aren't that bad in person...

fernandoalo_oficial 😁

user6 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: screaming crying throwing up

taylorswift replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: You better treat my best dancer right Alonso!🤍

fernandoalo_oficial of course ma'am! 🫡

user7 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: So cute!!😍

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, f1, yourusername and 601,239 others

tagged: yourusername

fernandoalo_oficial All these people think love's for show but I would die for you in secret... #swiftie

view all 6,022 comments

yourusername I'd just like to make it clear to everybody that it's me who made him be swiftie... you're welcome💋

liked by the author

user1 OMG THE LYRICS FROM PEACE BY TAYLOR

carmenmmundt Y/N is so pretty!😍

yourusername ohh carmen ilysm you're even prettier🥹

user2 No way Fernando just really har launched his gf😭

f1 We smell a new wag!

user4 LOL you're kinda late for that admin xd

user5 Congrats and wish you well world champ!💪

user6 can we talk about how gorgeous she is???

lilymhe double date when honey?

yourusername anytime babeee!!!

fernandoalo_oficial why do I have a feeling me and alex_albon will be third-wheeling on you two?🤨

alex_albon you'll eventually get used to third-wheeling your own girlfriend and her friends, trust me fernando...🤠

user7 This girl is like a goddess, I can't even blame him ❤️🔥

user8 mommy & daddy

georgerussell63 Finally! Congratulation on the hard launch mate👍

fernandoalo_oficial and look who's original with emojis now...😂

user9 from now on this is my fav couple

user10 mine to

user11 SHUT UP THE DELULU GIRLIES ON TWITTER WERE RIGHT

lance_stroll 💚💚

user12 nah I don't know what he see in her🙄

user13 Go away we don't want the jealous haters here 🥱

kellypiquet Welcome to the F1 family yourusername!🤍

yourusername thx!💞

user14 i call this couple goals

user15 I'M SO READY FOR BOYFRIEND MATERIAL ALONSO

user16 I can already feel he'll be so hot in his new era 😩

user17 lmao nando in his swiftie and stlutty era as someone on twitter said😹

yourusername swiftie and slutty era? i like the sound of it😏

user16 not y/n reading all the comments sipping over her bf 💀

liked by yourusername

THE END

Author's Note: Hello everyone, hope you liked it! I'm not sure you should get used to me posting so often, but let's say that after Lance's social media au and the great feedback I had so much motivation... plus I'm sick, so I actually have the time to write and create XD. Anyway, I'll be glad for likes, comments, reblog and every other way of showing support! Have a great day and let me know how you liked Nando and swiftie dancer together!

[eddwardharrison]

Look…Old Moon stated before hand he DESPISES cars because they’re metal death traps…but…what about…metal death taunters? MOTORBIKES FTW! HE NEEDS TO GET TRANSPORT /SOMEHOW/ OTHER THAN TELEPORTATION!! Everyone backpacks all at once, one giant tower of backpacks fr fr

I didn’t know how to draw ANYTHING in this picture, but it still worked out! AW YEAH!!!!!

[captain-pheonix]

Hiiii this may be a silly one but might be fun to make, I wanted to see how Sniper, Engie and Medic would react to a short, (I’m 4’11 irl for reference) g/n reader absolutely tackling the enemy teams heavy like it’s an everyday occurrence for them. I climb shelves, hop on stuff on the daily so I feel like it would be rather hilarious! You’re free to adjust this how you’d like! Hope you’re doing well! 💖

A/N: gujjdhghhmmgrgg I love this yes! Ty for requesting!! I’m doing headcannons, hopefully that’s ok. I’ll be honest, I’m not doing amazing, but thank you for the kind words!! They mean a lot! (I’ll be ok tho, dw)

Sniper, Engie, and medic x short!gn!reader who tackles their enemies

Can be read as platonic or romantic!

Sniper:

- as someone in the 6’0 range, I have a feeling it would just be

- just staring directly perpendicular at you

- plus he wouldn’t even have to get anything off high shelves or places for you because he just knows you’ll climb up something to get it

- he finds your antics really enjoyable, and loves hearing about all the shenanigans you get up to (little creature vibes fr)

- he would have the absolute best view of you tackling the Heavy

- just completely not paying attention to anything else

- you probably climb onto the Heavy’s back and get him a choke hold, and get a kill that helped the whole team

- and then you look back at him still in tackle-mode like

- ndndnf sorry I just had two very relevant pictures saved that inspired me

- might invite you on hunting trips to get your energy out on off days

- probably gives you a lot of post-battle compliments because he can see everything you do

Engie:

- he’s also short tho

- you would be very handy in the workshop, just climbing metal shelves to grab things for him

- he would probably be concerned every time you get something though

- I feel like he would admire your tenacity, and like that you just wanna get things done

- would join you on a rampage if your team needed to keep pushing forward

- a good view of you tackling the Heavy

- going through the teleporter entrance he just upgraded to find you going nuts on the other side

- a little shocked at first, but after watching you take down the Heavy and save the team, very impressed

Medic:

- again, this guy would be looking perpendicular to the ground to look at you

- tbh he would want to study why your so short

- even if he knows it’s just how your genetics and DNA ended up

- good helper around the med bay

- would advise against climbing shelves because there’s sharp things everywhere

- on the battle field, he could probably point out people coming your way you didn’t see before

- thoroughly impressed that you just jumped on the other Heavy

- you’ve likely protected Medic from certain doom on several occasions, tackling anyone who tries something

- medic is very thankful for the extra protection, especially when your Heavy gets killed and Medic is left stranded

——-thanks for reading!! Hope you enjoyed <3——-

[nornpai]

I have a theory about the whole Alastor and Vox thing. At the beginning of "Stayed Gone," Valentino questions Vox on whether or not he was pissed about "that time he almost beat you," which indicates some sort of physical altercation between them and Vox won, right? But it wasn't that Vox won by "killing" Alastor. I think Alastor fled from the fight... I believe this due to another line in "Stayed Gone" where Vox declares "The demon is a coward." This could be interpreted as Vox is upset at Alastor for just up and disappearing from their friendship(?) but as I've stated I don't think that's the case, or at least it's only partly why he said it.

In the episode "Dad Beat Dad," Alastor is seen provoking Lucifer which led fans to ask Vivienne Medrano herself why he did so. She answers that Alastor felt threatened by someone more powerful than him and felt the need to provoke Lucifer to assert dominance by being a shithead.

With the confirmation that Alastor does feel threatened by those more powerful than him, this is my speculation: Vox is all things technology, he changes and advances with the times, he can physically alter his body to do so as seen by his old box TV head which was seen in a picture frame in one of the episodes' backgrounds. This shows just how dedicated he is to becoming better, faster, and stronger alongside the advancements in technology. Vox's powers are greatly connected with tech as well and with the growing influence and spread of tech across the world makes it much easier for Vox to manipulate masses of people at once or use his "teleportation" ability to zap wherever he wants to using electronics. Alastor knew Vox was steadily increasing in power and began to feel intimidated by that prospect so to prove himself he challenged Vox, as the fight continued and Vox and him wrestled to show their power Alastor may have got badly injured and decided to take the blow to his ego and flee from the battle leaving them with no conclusion on who was actually stronger and Vox alone with no explanation for his actions.

----

Or in short: Alastor one day was like "Oh fuck this mf actually getting powerful fr" and decided "I'm gonna kick this guys ass to show I'm the alpha male" but then while he's getting his ass kicked he goes "Ow okay well I don't wanna be killed by this guy, fuck this I'm out of here." and vanishes for 7 years leaving Vox to rip all of their photos together in half like some sort of heartbroken teenage girl (Normal reaction to your business partner leaving).

(I spent so fucking long on this you have no idea.)

[satoruhour]

do you have any headcannons for gojo comforting reader when they start their period? (If i already sent this ask, ignore the first one! i couldnt remember if i asked this already or not)

a/n: hi darlaaa thank you for waiting teehee i love the gojo asks you’re giving me / i tried to keep it as general as possible even tho i only use pads! gn!reader, a little brief n*sfw at the end

i think we have all established that gojo is actually like . crazy in love with you and because of that he hates that you’re hurting so much bc of it :(

gojo likes to be at your command (even on normal days but) so he’s noting down every small thing you mention

“a tub of ice cream would sound so good rn…” or “think im running out of heat pads”

and he’s on his feet instantly. when youre sick or on your period he just declares it an off day, or at least on the first day when it’s the most painful

doesn’t really care about blood since he’s seen his fair share but he sometimes panics if your period comes during the night and he sees that the sheets are red

gojo lightly turns you over and sees that it’s coming from your centre and breathes a sigh of relief bc he’s had one too many nightmares about you getting bloodied and torn to shreds by a curse and he’s too late to save you

anyway. enough of the dark stuff, you freak out the first time you stay over and your period comes (the timing is so shit truly) bc his sheets are so expensive and you just “oh my god i just ruined my chance w this beautiful man”

but gojo doesn’t bat an eye, rather jumps up to comfort you, rubbing a soothing hand over you before you head over to the bathroom to clean up

a bit of blood got on him tho, thru cuddling and gojo makes a joke about how you’re “marking” him and you just roll your eyes and shove him away with a smile lol

he gives you everything you need to clean up most of the time and lets you do your thing

doesn’t let you change the sheets w/ him and rather makes you sit down to watch him, as with other things

changing the channel? gojo is there to do it. u want another snack from the pantry? he’s teleporting that short distance in his house because he doesn’t want you to feel that disgusting rush of blood whenever you stand up. hes so dramatic i swear

has made pms jokes before but he’s changed and he’s a better man now fr. gojo has gotten a lecture from utahime and then didnt take it seriously and then REALLY got told off by shoko after 💀

now whenever you’re moody he just shuts up and comforts you quietly <3

gojo willingly straps on those devices that mimic period cramps and then just when he wants to boast, you turn on the device to the highest setting (he told u to give him ur all) and he SCREAMS the most high pitched shriek ever it’s hilarious

tricks yuji into trying it out and poor yuji gullibly smiles even when gojo hasnt explained what it’s for and the way yuji grits his teeth omfg. you swear you hear sukuna ask gojo to never fuckin do that again

never disrespects you again

reluctantly gives you his sweet things 😭 he gets a little sad when he returns from a mission and his cheesecake is gone and you’re just sitting in front of the tv going “what?” LMFAOOO

he loves you too much however and lets you do whatever!

praises you even MORE during this time it’s kinda adorbs lol — “oh! you worked out on your period, love that for you, darling!!!!”

“my baby stood up from the couch! yaayyy!!!” he’s so annoyingly cute bye

learns so much about your favourite pad and tampon brands but also has that first time funny moment where he calls you and says “babe what size pussy you have?” and 😭😭

memorises the lengths/thickness and different uses but sometimes he still buys the wrong thing (it’s ok he’s cute enough that u forgive him)

has the biggest gasp when he finds out some brands put in chemicals to make ppl w/ vaginas bleed more so they buy more sanitary products

is fully motivated to go to the offices to protest 😭😭😭

buys SO MANY packets of sanitary products and just makes the excuse of “i’m rich“ and “doesn’t hurt to have more of it in case you run out”

you gesture incredulously, “yeah but not TWENTY PACKETS????? ARE YOU INSANE?”

your sweet boyfriend is just worried for you

gives the higher-ups shit cause they make you go on a mission while on your period and it’s so disgusting to exercise, much less exorcise and run around on a mission and tells them he’ll take it instead.

gojo doesn’t tell you he did tho, just comes home a little later than usual to find u already asleep

would love to make u soup but we’ve also established he sucks in the kitchen so … he just buys you those soup packets from the soup spoon and tells you he made it himself

you believe him once. and then the next day u catch an email notifying him more packets of soup is coming the next morning 💀

you two ended up eating soup for the next few days

tells you about his missions or days if you don’t want to say or do anything. he can talk your ear off for hours and you’re glad for that but sometimes you slip in little hums or nods and he can’t help but smile hehe

gojo rubs his hand on your tummy and womb when it hurts :( it’s endearing :((

sometimes also asks you if you’d like it on your core if it hurts, and his hand cupping your cunt feels nice at times.

also wiggles his eyebrows too much asking if you need his help to cum or something bc he heard it calms cramps LOL

suggests helping you to rub one out if you want but really it all depends on you if you want it <3

all in all a very sweet guy to be around and sometimes you have to tell him to quiet down cause he’s a little too hyper but he takes care of you extensively :3 you’re his baby !!!!

[monochromatic-ahhhh]

i don't think i'm understanding this correctly but here are some shower thoughts on that Nine-Headed guy and Macaque's powers (lmk S5 spoilers)

"Wukong, come on! We are old enemies! We're old friends, too. You just don't remember."

This line is bugging me. Is he saying this because he knows Wukong forgot or does it have something to do with a past life?

Becauseee how did he get to see "chaos beyond"?

His explanation of being able to "get out" no matter which choice MK makes leads me to think that chaos is reachable through an "end of the world that needs the pillars" thing.

I don't know how many times the world did a "cycle", but I wonder if he was once a sacrifice like MK (and he knows Wukong in that world ????), and he was able to see chaos because of it?

IT IS A STRETCH but if not as a sacrifice, then something related to that? Maybe that's why he knows how to "end the world", feels so strongly about letting MK have a life and make his own choice, and why he seems mad at Nüwa.

Maybe this is where that deal with his powers comes in?

Something that gives him back his life (memories?) at some point in the sacrifice so he can return to the people and convince them to jOIn the DaRk side?

"That power. Who gave that to you? Who'd you make a deal with?"

Though, he seems to be referring to deals that give power instead of life here so maybe he was not a sacrifice perse. However, HIS QUESTION.

The only deal I could think of related to Macaque is with LBD, and that had something to do with "return[ing him] to the mortal plane."

Plus, I think we've seen Macaque with his powers before the deal? Like, breakup scene

did he not?? always have that???

Then again, we haven't really seen much of past Macaque using his powers (i think this scene was the only?? instance??), so did he get this after the Brotherhood? To be able to teleport to Wukong who's trapped under the mountain?

Or maybe for that overthrowing attempt? Maybe he felt the need to be stronger too, so Macaque made a deal to get shadow powers.

And because it wasn't originally his power, he couldn't control it during the time of his fight with Wukong so the shadows swallowed??? him up??

Anw I don't know about green guy's chaos thing (or his charac in the book srry), I'm just curious as to why Wukong doesn't remember. What does he not remember?

Either: (a) it's not that important, (b) guy's referring to a past cycle he remembers (????), or (c) guy is so irrelevant that Wukong forgot about him fr

[m-musings]

HELLO, can I request Mihawk, Buggy, and Shanks dating or married to an elderly fem reader (late 40s or early 60s) hc's? Basically, the reader is genuinely so sweet and protective and rocking like she is in her early 20s. Despite her kind nature, the reader is also surprisingly strong-willed. And is also insecure about being too old and tries to convince them to move on and find someone else who is the same age as them. (also she ate a devil fruit that gave her teleportation powers and is a teacher and teaches fencing to young children).

Headcanons: The One Piece Old Men with an Older Fem! S/O

A/N: I fr had no ideas for this so I'm really sorry if it's not exactly what you wanted sdfghjkl

Word Count:698 Warnings: nada, all fluff here

Buggy:

• K so, the first time Buggy meets you is when he happens upon your fencing class during an exploration of your island.

• When you see him approach, you instantly teleport in front you students to try and protect them from whatever he may do.

• Once he realizes that you're also a Devil Fruit user, he's almost instantly enamored with you.

• Initially, it's just because he sees you being useful to him in some way but as he gets to know you more, he grows to genuinely love and respect you.

• After getting together, Buggy revels in the affection you show to him and his crew. He can't recall the last time anyone saw them all as actual people, let alone get to know them like you do.

• He also respects the fact that you don't hesitate to call him out on his bullshit or straight up kick his ass when he needs it.

• And while he might give you crap about teaching sometimes, he still gives you the all the regard you deserve for doing a rather tough job like that.

• When you get insecure about being older, he makes sure to remind you that he is also kind of an "old geezer" and that he'll still love you when you're both as old as the sea itself.

Shanks:

• You met Shanks when he and his crew pulled into port where you were staying, them needing to restock supplies and rest for a while before going off on another adventure.

• He meets you in a small bar where he sees you chatting and laughing merrily with some of the staff as you sip on a fruity drink of some kind.

• With an intrigued smile, he struts over and introduces himself with all the usual charm.

• As you two idly chat for about 15 minutes, you stop mid-sentence when the girl you mentor hurriedly runs into the bar asking for help with something quick.

• You excuse yourself with an apologetic smile before suddenly vanishing from sight, surprising Shanks as he confusedly looks around the room for you.

• A minute or two later, you pop back to your original position and continue on the conversation like nothing happened.

• Impressed at the discovery of your powers, he begins to ask all sorts of questions about it, which eventually leads to a friendship and later, a relationship!

• He loves being with you! Seeing how kind and helpful you are with most anyone you come in contact with is so refreshing for him to see in a world where other people seem to not care about anything but themselves.

• Shanks also admires the friendship you have with the girl you mentor, it reminds him of his relationship with Luffy.

• And when it comes to your age, he couldn't care less! As long as you're a truly good person, he'll love you with all his heart no matter how you perceive yourself.

Mihawk:

• You meet Dracule when he arrives to an island near yours while on a bounty search for the Marines.

• Having been hired alongside him due to your powers and skills with a saber, he is a little hesitant to be around you due to him preferring to work alone.

• But once the job is done and he's spent more time with you, he actually finds himself enjoying your company a lot!

• He likes how headstrong you are and how you aren't afraid to let someone know exactly how you feel.

• And that combined with the fact that you teach a very useful fighting style to the next generation, he's sold on the idea of the two of you being something more than friends rather soon.

• Mihawk also adores just how sweet you can be with those you care about. Whether that's with your students or with him, he's absolutely smitten when you're being your typical, cuddly self.

• There are for sure times when you convince yourself that your age is a problem and that he'd be better off with someone more youthful.

• When you have those doubts, he's right there to assure you that he doesn't mind at all. He's glad to be around you because you're you, older than him or not.

[doodle-do-wop]

Did some weak googling because I was curious but I think Sophie might be running at maybe near 45-50 MPH when she flash teleports

Cause let's say Sophie's usual free fall height (the cliffs) is about cliff diving height so maybe around 130+ feet give or take, she would be free falling at about 40 or 50 MPH for approximately 3 seconds before she cracks into the void

I think she's jumped from the fourth floor at Havenfield before but we don't know how tall each elf story is compared to normal humans but considering Sophie is capable of cracking the void it might be 100 ft

Anyway if Sophie's average needed height to teleport is about 100 or so feet, then she would fall for 2-3 seconds at 40 or so plus MPH, to get that full free fall experience Sophie would need to run about as fast to crack into the void when flash teleporting (maybe even faster for further distances)

This means Sophie might've been carrying Keefe and running at 40+ MPH during Legacy

HOWEVER I'm curious if Sophie was channeling when she was running or not because she might've been and I just don't recall cause the fastest a human has ever ran is 28 MPH, Sophie is doing at least double that with possibly channeling. Sophie's running about as fast as the fastest race horse (never beating the horse allegations fr) and the crazy part is not knowing if OTHER elves might be capable of this stuff

[scaranation]

I saw that requests were still open and I crawled back from the firey pits of hell to offer you Scaramouche brain rott along with a personal AU that hit me like a foking brick like two days ago.

So first off. Imagine if you will. That Mr. McGrump wasn't actually just one entity but actually a trio of twin brothers that wandered around Teyvat known as the "the trio of eccentrics". They despise each other (cuz of course they do) but decide to travel together cuz no matter how hard they try to NOT bump into each other, the world is just so big for a trio of dumbasses that are chaotic on their own right.

They cannot get along to save their lives. The amount of times Scaramouche and Wanderer have gotten smacked on the face with Kabukimono's smithing hammer are just too many to count. Not to mention that as feeble as he appears to be he has a scarily good aim much to his brother's previous dismay as they have been greeted with a flying hammer to the back of the head multiple times when they have run into each other "by chance" before.

People tend just get confused when one of them randomly spawns on a town and seemingly sprout two other clones like some kind of mitosis type shit until they realize it's just a trio of siblings.

I also low-key feel y/n would accidentally bump and help all of them separatedly by chance only for them to all either think of them fondly or straight up have a little crush on them. I can just see Kabuki rambling to wanderer how some sweet person saved him from a hoard of electro slimes only for him to remember how someone offered to invite him to some food in one of his travels similar to the one his brother mentioned. Only for Scara to interrupt demanding if they were talking about this one very specific person that offered him shelter that one time he was injured after some misión or something. Cue y/n casually walking by and all of them losing their collective shit cuz HOLY SHIT THAT'S THEM- WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW THEM TOO????? And thus the quest of winning over the kind stranger begins.

Idk if this was even mildly entertaining but this idea has been eating my brain for days and needed to spew it somewhere. Love your work! ✨✨✨

OMLL HOWW YOUR BRAINROTS ARE SO GOOD I CANT 😭😭 this took me a while to write but i had to get everything out to even do this idea some justice it’s got me giggling fr

༊*·˚ 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐄

ft. Scaramouche, Kabukimono, Wanderer

Content: fluff, crack (but treated seriously)

a/n - innocent Kabukimono just lives rent free in my heart omlll like just imagine a less traumatised Scara <33

The trio of short haired, violet-eyed wanderers (also known as “the trio of eccentrics” by the local children) were a common sight in Teyvat. Prior to the revelation that they were, in fact, siblings, people had believed that they were either a teleporting ghost or some human aphid with miraculous cloning abilities. That was until someone saw two of the them in the same room, and connected the dots.

Scaramouche, the Wanderer, and Kabukimono were inseparable - not of their own will, of course. On their erratic, impulsive routes across Sumeru, they’d somehow cross paths more often than they wanted. In fact, they’d made an effort to avoid each other. The Wanderer had retreated all the way to the Hypostyle Desert, cackling at his own genius. Unfortunately, he also found Scaramouche and Kabukimono at the desert too - both dumbfounded at the ridiculous situation. Somehow, all three of them had simultaneously decided that hiding in the desert to not see each other was a great idea.

“What are you doing here?” the Wanderer had blurted.

“No, what are you doing here? I had this idea yesterday!” Kabukimono cried.

“Both of you, get out of my sight. I hatched this plan two weeks ago.” Scaramouche grumbled.

“Oh, how diabolical and calculating you are,” the Wanderer rolled his eyes, as though he wasn’t just praising himself for what he thought was the most intelligent idea to ever exist.

“Fine, I’ll leave first.” Kabukimono sighed. Perhaps it was because he was the youngest, but he was always ended up giving in to his brothers.

“Pushover,” the Wanderer smirked.

“Says the unemployed one,” Scaramouche scoffed.

“At least I have a vision.”

“Shut up.”

The many other times the trio convened by accident, two of them weren’t even conscious to fully process their irritation. The moment Kabukimono spotted Scaramouche or the Wanderer at his favourite resting place, he’d let loose his hammer - striking them on the back of the head with scary aim. He’d congratulate himself if he managed to score a concussion, too. It wasn’t as though the others didn’t defend themselves equally vigorously. If they couldn’t settle things with words, the brothers would just break out into fighting.

Things were especially bad when the Wanderer got ahold of Kabukimono’s hammer. Upon wrestling it out of the blacksmith’s grip, the Wanderer would flit into the air, gleefully holding the hammer out of reach until Scaramouche had enough and struck him down with a bolt of lightning.

“You look like a fly when you do that, you know?”

“You’re just jealous.”

Somehow, you were always at the centre of the trio’s unpredictable paths of destruction across Teyvat. You never really guessed at the connection between them, only dismissing it as a mere coincidence that you’d developed a fondness for three purple haired, short-tempered travellers.

As an adventurer, you’d first met Kabukimono on one of your errands.

“Stay away!”

You heard the clanging of something heavy on your inspection in Guyun, turning around to locate the source of the voice.

You followed the commotion around past the domain you’d just exited from, finding a crevice tucked away into a small beach-like area. Clumps of electro crystals clung to the stone walls of the cove, the lapping of the waves only perpetuating the intense elemental reactions. At the centre of it all was a strangely dressed man, being attacked by a hoard of electro slimes. He flailed around with a blacksmith’s hammer, presumably caught in his own attempt to mine valuable ores for a project.

His clothes looked to be of Inazuman attire, too - what was an Inazuman doing, looking for electro crystals all the way out in Liyue?

“Do you need help?” You crouched down, a little hesitant over whether or not it was obligatory for you to jump into the electro-charged mess.

“It… certainly looks like it, doesn’t it?” The man flashed you a defeated smile. Luckily, as a pyro vision holder, it wasn’t too difficult for you to deal with the slimes. With a brief flash of your vision, you also mined the ores for the stranger as well.

“Ah! So they require elemental triggers to be mined. No wonder it was taking me so long. Thank you, by the way - I’m Kabukimono.” The stranger extended a hand. You took it, but he didn’t shake it. The two of you stood there awkwardly for a moment, before he released your hand.

“Ah, sorry… That’s what I see people at the workshop do when they meet someone new. Is it strange?”

“No, of course not! You usually shake the hand after holding it, though.” You quipped helpfully.

“Oh.” A flush spread across his cheeks. He thanked you vehemently once again, insisting on offering you some spare iron in exchange for your help.

“Travel safe!” You called after Kabukimono, as he hurried off. He was a little strange, but his awkwardness was rather endearing. You smiled and shook your head, before resuming work and thinking nothing more of the entire ordeal.

Unlike Kabukimono, the second of the trio you met was a lot more irritable. You met the Wanderer at some food stalls in Sumeru city, almost mistaking him for the acquaintance you’d met in Guyun - only to be quickly corrected by his vastly different attitude.

“Watch it.” The stranger that looked suspiciously like Kabukimono (but with a remarkably more hostile, pointed gaze) shoved past you.

“These lavender melons. How much do they cost?” Not-Kabukimono asked the vendor, tapping his foot impatiently.

“Uh, 200 mora-”

“What? Who sells trash like this so expensively? Forget it, I didn’t want them anyway.” The Wanderer scoffed, turning to leave before you quickly grabbed him.

“If you’re hungry, you can eat at my place. I have some leftovers,” you offered. He narrowed his eyes at you suspiciously.

“Why are you helping me? Is this a poisoning attempt?”

“No… You just remind me of an acquaintance of mine, so I thought I’d look out for you.”

“Pfft, I don’t need your baseless concern.”

At that moment, the man’s stomach grumbled. The two of you made eye contact, before reaching a silent agreement.

“My house is that way,” you pointed, as the stranger begrudgingly followed you.

Even if he didn’t say so, the stranger most definitely enjoyed your cooking. After introducing himself as the Wanderer, he was quick to open up - always stopping by to visit (claiming that you were a convenient dining place for his travels).

Whenever he stopped by, you’d laugh and cook him a warm meal - it almost felt like home to him, or at least what he thought a home was. He never really had one, nor did he care for the notion, but this arrangement was quite pleasant for him. If the Wanderer was in a good mood, he’d even share some of his travelling stories with you. He’d boast about the enemies he defeated in the wilderness, complain about the stupidity of mortals, before giving you the rare piece of acknowledgement (“you know, your cooking is edible,” or “it’s definitely not poisoned,” etc.).

You quickly grew to anticipate his sporadic visits, getting an understanding of what kind of food he preferred. You weren’t sad when he didn’t arrive, and the two of you thrived off a mutual relationship. The Wanderer was surely different from your other companion, but that didn’t make him any less welcome.

Lastly, you’d met Scaramouche on an ominous rainy day. Or, rather, he’d been deposited on your doorstep.

“I don’t remember ordering a parcel…” You peered out into your doorway, squinting through the lashing rain - before realising that this ‘parcel’ was very much human-shaped.

With a surprised gasp, you dragged the figure inside as carefully as you could, wincing at the blood mixed with rainwater that swirled across his smooth skin. Peeling back the heavy layers of his outer coat, you took off the man’s hat to gape again in shock.

“Kabukimono?” You spluttered.

“Who are you calling Kabukimono?” The stranger snapped, sitting up slowly.

“Wanderer?” You tried again, guessing based on the man’s furious expression.

“Hah, you dare to…”

Before the stranger (that was neither Kabukimono nor the Wanderer) could finish his sentence, he passed out again in a haze of dizzying unconsciousness.

The man’s deep indigo eyes fluttered open a while later to the sight of you tending his wounds. He immediately flinched away, looking at you incredulously.

“Who are you? Why am I here?”

“You quite literally passed out on my porch, then again in my house. Don’t you remember?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“You dare gaslight a Fatui Harbinger? Try as hard as you want, but I won’t be giving you financial compensation for this.”

“You’re… a Harbinger…?” You frowned. He sure acted and looked a lot like the Wanderer - perhaps he’d hit his head a little too hard.

“Yes, Scaramouche. I’m better known as the Balladeer, of course.”

“I’ve never heard of you.”

“Well, then that just means we’re doing a great job of maintaining confidentiality.” Scaramouche huffed, allowing you to continue wrapping bandages around the deep gashes on his body. You chuckled at his demeanour.

“I’m not expecting anything in return for this.” You offered, leaning back to scrutinise your medical work. Years of adventuring had given you experience in this sort of thing, but your expertise was still lacking.

“Then why? Don’t tell me, you believe in kindness?”

“Anyone would do this if they found a stranger half-dead at their door in the pouring rain.” You rolled your eyes.

“I was not half-dead, and I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” Scaramouche huffed, and you almost gawked at how similar he was to the Wanderer.

“Um, do you happen to know anyone named… Uh…” You hesitated under your new acquaintance’s fierce gaze.

“Named what? Do I look like an Akasha terminal to you?”

“Never mind.” You quickly shut your mouth. Perhaps it was just a coincidence.

It took a few months before the trio finally figured out they had a mutual connection. They’d all visited you countless times, and yet were lucky enough not to encounter each other - that was, until they finally began talking about their latest travel experiences upon having a chance meeting in Sumeru.

“Hm, perhaps this is what mortals call… comradeship…” Kabukimono mused to his brothers one day.

“Feeling a little amicable, Kabukimono?” Scaramouche sneered. He eyed the glimmering purple blade Kabukimono flipped over in his hands.

“There was this adventurer who saved me from some electro slimes once. It was because of them that I could fashion this dagger… Humans really are compassionate.” Kabukimono mused. He happily smiled to himself at the reminder of you.

“You’re so naive, brother. After all, mortals are only driven by fair exchange. Nobody would help without expecting it return - ah, there is one exception. There was this person I met who offered me food. I’ve been having free meals with them for months, and they don’t even know how I’m taking advantage of them! How immature they are, selflessly acting like that. It almost makes me concerned for their well-being,” the Wanderer chuckled.

“I don’t think you’re taking advantage of them if you’re… just accepting the free meals they give you. It almost seems they have you wrapped around their finger.” Scaramouche snickered.

“You wouldn’t understand the idea of a mutually beneficial relationship. In fact, have you even talked to a living being other than your colleagues in the last week?”

“Yes, you, and a certain traveller who took me in after I was injured in a mission-”

“You got injured? How pathetic.”

“It was a calculated risk. Anyway, they gave me shelter and treated all my wounds without asking for mora once. And they even let me stay over long after I’d healed, too. Mortals are so foolish, to be blindly trusting. I could’ve snapped their throat in a second.”

The three brothers agreed on the extremely rare and (questionably naive) selflessness of humans.

Then, a beat of silence passed before a revelation dawned on them.

“Isn’t it weird that we’ve all met a strange, helpful adventurer?” Kabukimono murmured.

“Exactly what I was thinking. Surely not all humans are like this.” Scaramouche nodded.

“Maybe foolishness is more common than we thought…?” The Wanderer suggested, but an uneasy feeling was dawning on him as he began to connect the dots.

“Say, does the traveller you two met live near the Grand Bazaar?” Scaramouche prodded.

“Yes.” Kabukimono and the Wanderer responded simultaneously.

“And they have an adventurer’s bandana? With a Mondstadtian clock in the front room of their house?”

“Yes- YOU TWO KNOW THEM AS WELL?” Kabukimono spluttered.

The Wanderer only heaved a large sigh. He was so close to showing off that he had a new friend, only to realise that the new friend was also acquainted with both his brothers.

“How bothersome, it seems you’re already close with them.” Scaramouche raised an eyebrow.

“Of course I am! I met them first, after all.” Kabukimono insisted.

“Both of you, be quiet. I’m going to their place now.” The Wanderer pushed back his chair.

“Hey! I was planning to visit them too!”

The scraping of chairs resounded as the remaining two brothers hurriedly rushed to get to your house.

Any other person would probably pass out from fear at seeing all three of the notorious trio appear at their door. You, however, only shot them a bemused look and ushered them in.

Once the three realised they had competition, Scaramouche, the Wanderer, and Kabukimono would be unrelenting in competing for your attention.

It was quite comical at times - you’d barely have to say anything and one of them would appear, diligently doing tasks for you and looking back at you eagerly for praise. It seemed almost strange to consider that these three had been marvelling at your profound naiveness only a few days ago, and were now basically at your beck and call.

Scaramouche would definitely be the most demanding. Whether it was a hand on your elbow or a risky grip on your wrist, he made sure you were close to him and sought your undivided attention. He’d recklessly snap out searing insults at anyone else, before getting ahold of himself and stating that he was merely defending a poor, foolish soul from being taken advantage of by some calculating purple-haired villain. Not him though, he’d never do anything like that.

The Wanderer (like his name) was more relaxed - he could go without your eyes on him at all times, and he’d drift in and out as he pleased. However, he did see himself as being entitled to your energy whenever he did happen to stop by. Occasionally, he’d even offer to take you on a scenic flight across Teyvat. After you’d tried it once, you were quick to refuse his latter offers - zooming across rooftops at breakneck speed was not your forte. The Wanderer huffed at your reluctance and accused you of denying his altruistic favour, but made an effort to do things you liked regardless.

Kabukimono was fiercely shy. He’d always bring you trinkets - small mechanisms or self-defends tools he’d fashioned from spare parts during his work as a blacksmith. He’d press them into your hands self-consciously, unable to bite back a smile when you praised his handiwork. He wouldn’t hesitate to stand up against his much fiercer brothers if it was for you, holding you in a tight embrace whenever you’d let him.

And so, as it happened, it seemed as though “the eccentric trio” simply couldn’t escape each other. As if by some ill-humoured joke, they all ended up liking the same person. The only issue was, being that person, you now had to deal with all three of them at once.

As if one wasn’t enough, you now had triple the trouble.

༊*·˚

[sinner-sunflower]

Another SPN fic idea (ugh I need to stop coming up with so many ideas and start writing them fr)

You guys know that start of the Nogitsune Stiles arc? With Scott being woken up by a call from Stiles who doesn't know where he is and thinks he sleptwalk somewhere?

That but with Sam in Stanford.

Let me know what you guys think of this! Trying to practice writing in the proper fic format yakmnow

--------------

Dean is exhausted from a nasty ghoul hunt he and John just did for the past week. He's in dream land until his phone vibrates. Groggily, he looks at the screen and jolts up upon seeing who it was.

Sam.

He clicks the button on instinct and puts it to this ear. Sam has been in Stanford for a year now and they haven't really talked since he left. Despite what animosity they have, Dean will always answer Sam's calls. (Even if he thinks Sam won't do the same for him)

"Hey, Sammy. What's- uh- what's up?"

Dean cringes at the stutter but he can't take it back now. He waits for Sam to say something but nothing. He frowns, concern bubbling in his stomach.

He's only met with silence and a bit of static.

"Sam."

There's heavy breathing now and sobbing?

"Sammy, you there?"

The silence on the other end is only making the hairs on Dean's neck stand up. Then, Sam' voice came through, but it was different—shaky, scared, almost unrecognizable.

"D-Dean?"

Okay, now he's really awake. His brother's tone instantly bolt upright, his senses going into overdrive, ready to go to Sam like he can teleport miles away. "Hey, yeah, I'm here. Can you hear me??"

"Dee, I- I don't know where I am. I don't know how I got here." A laboured breath. "I think I was sleepwalking."

Dean's mind is on overdrive but he needs to keep calm and ask the right questions.

"Okay, okay. Can you see anything? Just tell me what you see."

"It's uh- It's dark. It's hard to see. I think there's something wrong with my-"

The phone call drops and Dean scrambles to redial his brother. He's vaguely aware he's breathing erratically and on the way to a panic attack but he grounds himself.

"Hey-"

"Sam!-"

"This is Sam. Sorry, I'm busy. Leave a mess-"

Dean hangs up and dials again.

"Hey, this is Sa-"

He lets out a frustrated 'fuck!' and tries again.

"Come on. Come on!"

Just as he was about to call Sam again, Sam's caller ID is back and he answers with urgency.

"Sam!"

"Dean, I don't think I can get out of here. I can't move." His brother is speaking faster now which only fuels Dean's panic.

"Where are you, Sam??"

"I don't know." Sam's voice shakes and his breathing only sounds like it's getting heavier every second. "I mean- It's too dark, I can't see much. But something's wrong with my leg. It's stuck on something. It- I think it's bleeding."

Oh god, Dean's about to pass out. His heart is going a million miles per hour.

"How bad? Sammy, how bad is it?!"

There was another long pause, and Dean could almost hear Sam wrestling with the fear that was threatening to consume him.

"Sam! Are you there?! Can you hear me?!"

"Oh god, something smells down here. Something smells terrible. It's brutal, my eyes are watering." His brother cries out. "Oh please, Dean, come find me. Please."

Dean’s chest tightened at the plea. He had never heard Stiles sound so vulnerable, so broken.

"Sammy, just hold on I-"

"Dee, I gotta call you back. I gotta turn it off-" Sam says in a sudden hurry.

"What? No- hey, wait-"

"I'm gonna call you right ba-"

"Hold on, Sam wait-" Sam hanged up on him. "Shit!"

The line went dead, and he didn’t waste another second. Grabbing his jacket, he bolted out of the room to where his Dad is, his mind already racing with possibilities.

"Dad!" Guns. Keys. Knives. "Dad! Get up! Fuck! Dad!"

John comes barreling through his room, swinging the door open, eyes on high alert of the possible thing his son is screaming bloody murder on.

"What's wrong, Dean?"

"It's Sammy. We're leaving." He tosses a duffel of guns towards his dad and just keeps on going, not pausing for a second.

"Woah woah. What's wrong with your brother?"

Only then does he take a breather. He looks at his dad in poorly hidden anguish and shit! He's about to start crying.

"I don't know."

-------

They are driving close to a hundred miles per hour. Thank fuck it's ass o'clock in the morning so there are no other cars or traffic but even in this speed, they won't be able to get to Palo Alto for atleast 4 hours. Dean has the gas touching the floor.

'I can make it in two for Sammy.'

His phone rings again and he puts it on speaker for John to hear.

"Sam!"

"Dee... Are you coming?" Sam's voice is low and quiet but still clearly distraught.

"Yeah. I'm with Dad. We're coming to find you. Can you figure out where you are? Try to find something to tell us where to look." His dad scoots closer, hands hovering near the wheel in fear of Dean losing control.

Stiles’ breath hitched. "A basement? Some kind o- some kind of basement?"

John decides to pipe up now. "In a house, kiddo?"

"No no. It's bigger. Like industrial. It's cold, it's freezing." Sam finally managed. "I gotta turn- I gotta turn the phone off, guys. It's gonna die." He suddenly adds with a desperate edge.

"Wait wait wait. What else is there, Sammy? What do you see?" Dean needs to keep talking to Sam keeps talking.

"Phone's dying! I can't talk!" A pause. "...I have to go." Sam said in barely a whisper. "Please."

He and his dad strained to listen, trying to catch any background noise that might give them a clue about where Sam was. But there was nothing—just the low, shaky sound of his brother's breathing.

“Sammy,” Dean asked, his voice full of concern, “why are you whispering?”

There was a pause, and Dean could almost feel the tension in the air. When Sam finally spoke, his voice was trembling with fear.

“...Because I think there’s someone in here with me.”

[mixelation]

here i wrote more reborn au. this is the beginning of The Wave Arc Debacle as described previously. sakura POV

Sakura was shaking as the hunter-nin made off with Zabuza's body. She hoped no one could tell. 

There were a few moments of tension, all of them at attention as they watched the young man retreat. Then suddenly it was like Kakashi sagged over, his posture bending inward. That was everyone else’s cue it was alright: Naruto and Sasuke and even Tazuna immediately and visibly relaxed. 

“Okay,” Kakashi-sensei said, panting, limped-kneed and more exhausted than Sakura knew a Jounin could be. “I’m going to show you a secret technique. Only Naruto can learn this one.”

Naruto, despite all odds, perked up. Then Kakashi-sensei produced a three-pronged kunai and Naruto immediately deflated. 

“Oh, c’mon,” he mumbled. “My first C-rank, too…”

Sakura opened her mouth to ask what this technique was, but the Hokage was in front of them before she could get more than a word out. He seemed just as tense as they had been moments ago, eyes flicking around for danger, and Sakura snapped to attention. Behind her, Tazuna sounded as if he’d just choked on air. 

“What’s wrong?” Hokage-sama demanded. He aimed his command at Kakashi-sensei, but Sakura noted he was eyeing Naruto up and down out of the corners of his eyes. 

Of course, Sakura decided. Hokage-sama would obviously assume him being summoned meant his son was in danger. Most ninja couldn’t just summon Hokage-sama at whim if their missions went bad. But clearly Naruto would always get favoritism, even if Kakashi-sensei and Hokage-sama promised he wouldn’t, and even if Naruto himself got all bristly at the idea.

“The mission might have gone a teensy-weensy bit… wrong?” Kakashi provided. 

Tazuna shifted nervously. 

Kakashi-sensei’s report was short and succinct, skipping a lot of details to only hammer home the important parts. Hokage-sama tilted his head back, glancing over at Tazuna a few times. 

“I have every right to pull my shinobi out and detain you until you pay the price of an A-rank,” Hokage-sama told Tazuna finally. 

Tazuna held his gaze, consciously stopping his nervous shuffling. Sakura wondered if she could be that brave, if Hokage-sama told her off. 

“Oh, c’mon!” Naruto yelled, louder this time. “He couldn’t pay more because of this Gato asshole–”

Hokage-sama raised an eyebrow. 

“--this Gato jerk, and it’d be totally unfair if we didn’t help him just cuz he’s poor right now.” Naruto pointed determinedly at Tazuna. “I mean, he’s a jerk too, but at least he’s trying to help people.”

Hokage-sama studied naruto for a few moments, and Sakura wondered if Naruto was going to be told yet again that he needed to speak to his father like he was the Hokage when he was on the job. Instead, he sighed heavily, and a tiny smile tugged at his lips. 

“Kakashi,” he said, “you confirmed Zabuza’s death?”

Hokage-sama told them it was up to them if they wanted to continue or not. Naruto and Sasuke immediately said they wanted to. 

“Sakura?” Hokage-sama asked, and Sakura felt her cheeks go hot. She wondered if anyone would actually take her opinion into account if she said no. 

“Um, well…” That had been terrifying. But she did want to help Tazuna’s village; helping people wasn’t why she signed up to be a shinobi, but wanting to be a protector like Ino was certainly part of why she stayed. “Yes,” she said finally. “I want to stay too.”

After all, A-rank missing-nin were rare. What were the odds another one would show up?

“Alright,” Hokage-sama agreed. “I really can’t be teleporting around willy-nilly, though. I’ll send back up. Hold on…”

Hokage-sama patted himself down, eventually pulling a random piece of sealing paper out of a pocket. He handed it to Kakashi-sensei. 

 “Is that…” Kakashi started, eyeing it warily. 

“She’ll be here in a few minutes,” Hokage-sama answered cheerfully. Then he was gone. 

Kakashi stared down at the piece of paper, defeated. 

“What’s going on?” Sasuke asked. 

“This is from Tori,” Kakashi said flatly, like that explained anything. 

“Oh,” Sasuke replied. He didn’t sound thrilled. Even Naruto made a face. Sakura had never heard of anyone called Tori at all. 

Sakura concentrated very hard on not fidgeting. She hated when the team got like this: all three of them knowing something she didn’t. It made her feel like even more of an outsider. 

Tori turned out to be a teenaged girl. She appeared out of nowhere, much like Hokage-sama, although she teetered uncertainly at her landing, her arms windmilling. She was wearing a pink tank top with lacy straps that Sakura thought was a bit cute, tucked into a baggy pair of black standard-issue slacks. A belt with a handful of scrolls was at her waist, but she wore no weapons pouch. A convenience store bag swung from her hand. 

“Hey!” she greeted, once she was balanced again. “So what, uh– what are we doing?”

“He didn’t tell you?” Kakashi-sensei asked, voice stressed. 

“No?” Tori replied. “I was literally buying lunch.”

She held up the bag. 

“Ah, well,” Kakashi-sensei replied, swaying in place. “Unfortunately for you, I’m about to pass out.”

And then he did. 

“Oi, oi,” Tori yelled, diving forward to catch him. “What the fuck?”

Sakura winced at the language. It wasn’t that she was offended; it was that this was basically giving Naruto free reign to swear as much as he wanted. 

Tori laid Kakashi-sensei out in the grass, assuring them she was “technically” a medic, which was an oddly ominous way to word it. Naruto attempted to fill her in on their mission as she poked chakra into Kakashi. His story wheeled around in a disorganized fashion, the way all Naruto’s stories did. 

“No offense, kid,” Tori told him. “But you’re not really making any sense. Anyone else want to try?”

After only a moment of hesitation, Sakura stepped forward. She described their mission objective and then the series of events and decisions that led them to the current circumstances. Tori nodded along, eventually standing and pulling a packaged curry bread out of her bag. 

“Interesting,” she said, taking a bite of her bread. “So are we in Wave?”

“We’re close to the crossing,” Tazuna replied. “Do you… do you not know where you are?”

Tori blinked back innocently at him, shoving more bread into her mouth. 

Tori finished her bread, assured them Kakashi was just chakra-exhausted, and then pulled out an apple. Tazuna volunteered his home to them, and Tori directed Naruto and Sasuke to carry Kakashi between them. 

“If you mess it up,” she said, smiling at them, “he’ll feel it when he wakes up.”

She produced a can of some sort of sparkling juice drink from the convenience store bag. It fizzed over its side when she popped the top. 

Sakura assumed Naruto and Sasuke got put with Kakashi because they were boys. As it turned out, Tori wanted Sakura by her side so she could quiz her on details of their fights. She wanted to know everything the Demon Brothers and Zabuza had said, whether it seemed important or not, and what techniques they’d used and what strategies they seemed to be implementing. 

Being a ninja involves so much information, Sakura thought. She had a very good memory, luckily. She had a lot to say. 

“Zaubza had no pulse,” Sakura explained twice for Tori on how they knew he was dead. “Kakashi-sensei checked.”

Tori was squinting off into the distance, like she was doing a complex math problem in her head. Her hair was tied back in a loose braid, but over the course of their trip, several curls had escaped and now framed her face at strange angles. Sakura couldn’t decide if it was pretty or not. 

Striking, Sakura finally decided. Only one-third of shinobi graduates were girls, and the proportion of kunoichi got smaller and smaller as rank increased. There had to be something amazing about Tori if she was a Special Jounin at her age. If she wasn’t pretty, she had to be something.

“But the hunter-nin took the body? You’re sure of it?” Tori asked. Sakura nodded. “Did you see what part of the neck he hit? With the senbon?”

Sakura hadn’t really seen much of the specific attack, but she could narrow it down to a side and a general area. Tori’s lips thinned. 

“Does that mean something?” Sakura asked. 

“Maybe,” Tori allowed. 

Wave was… wet, and smelled like wet garbage. It looked like it might have been pretty once, but the buildings and roads had suffered years of disrepair. Whatever waste collection had once been in place was gone or inadequate now, and rubbish clogged the drains and caused gross, stinky puddles to form in the cracks of what was left of the pavement. People looked at them with distrustful eyes, even with Tazuna there. 

Tazuna’s house was the same. It was probably comfortable once, but lost roof tiles and cracked windows had not been replaced. Someone had been maintaining the yard, but the vegetable plot was pathetic in the number of plants it contained versus the size delineated by a low stone wall. The inside was roomy, but the rugs were threadbare and there was much less furniture than the size would allow. 

Tazuna’s daughter, Tsunami, apologized again and again that they only had one guest room. 

“Inari can sleep with me,” she offered, “so the young ladies–”

Tori held up a hand. “Aw, don’t kick the kid out of his room. We shinobi don’t care about gender like that.”

This was a lie– Sakura felt like the only time her being a girl didn’t matter was when people were telling her off for noticing it did matter– but it made Tsunami hesitate. Tori flashed her teeth reassuringly. 

“Besides, Kakashi and I are basically siblings,” she said. 

The statement made Naruto wrinkle his nose, and Sakura felt there was a joke there she didn’t quite get. 

They rolled Kakashi out onto one of the thin futons Tsunami left them, and Tori poked him with more chakra while Naruto very haphazardly tossed a blanket over him. Sakura did her best to chide him with her eyes while she fixed it. 

“I think he’ll be awake by morning,” Tori decided, sitting back on her heels. “Make sure he eats something when he wakes, even if it’s just broth.” She frowned. “Even if he insists he’s fine.”

Tori then sat back on her butt and started unrolling scrolls and pulling out little jars of ink. 

“What are you doing?” Sakura asked curiously. 

“I was interrupted during my lunch break for a lab shift, so I don’t have any weapons on me. I’m going to see what I have sealed away,” Tori replied. 

“Aren’t shinobi always supposed to have weapons on them?” Sasuke wondered. 

“Technically, yes,” Tori replied. Then she pointed accusingly at him. “Ask your brother what I can do without them, though.”

Tori explained that she kept weapons stored away “just in case,” and all she needed to do was remember which storage seal to draw. Sakura was… well, right up until this moment, she had been sure this was not how storage seals worked, because you couldn’t put a kunai in one scroll and expect to retrieve the same kunai from another scroll. But neither Naruto nor Sasuke blinked an eye, and a few minutes later, Tori had a pile of metal in front of her. 

“What are you going to do with all of those?” Sasuke asked. 

“What are we doing to help you?” Naurot asked, excitement in his eyes. 

“You three are going to watch over Tazuna and Kakashi,” Tori said calmly, picking up a bent kunai and turning it over with a tiny frown on her face. “Hokage-sama didn’t give me any specific instructions except to babysit you while Kakashi is down, but it seems to me…” 

She dropped the bent kunai and picked up another one and then another. 

“It seems to me the easiest way to solve this is to just assassinate Gato.”