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The thing about chapter 39 is I think dazai was trying to help atsushi and didn't do a very good job because what he's good at and has learned how to do is manipulation and not helping someone in hard times. With what dazai said to hirotsu in the art museum about being ready for fyodor. I think he was trying to speed up atsushis personal growth but it back fired and messed atsushi up more

Okay there's a lot to unpack here. Main thoughts are: doesn't really align with how I personally read the chapter, but at the same time makes for a truly compelling interpretation that would be so interesting to delve into!! Please keep up the great work!!!!! I could totally accept this as some kind of au that I'd love to look into.

I really like to explore how the act of manipulation as some sort of instinctive response of Dazai, one he can't really help. I like it when a virtue (let's say, charisma and superhuman intelligence) bent to its extremes becomes a flaw. And the fact that it may be involuntary on Dazai's end, that he's gotten so used to making puppets out of people that it became a sort of addiction for him that he can't escape even now that he's doing good, is very tragic / juicy to explore. Because I think Atsushi is for Dazai a friend that he loves, and he wouldn't want to manipulate him; and yet Dazai falls for the vicious circle of “it's ultimately all to do more good, so it's okay, isn't it?” again and again.

I find the concept of Dazai setting up the orphanage director's death extremely appealing as well. I'm a firm believer that Dazai set up the killing of Akutagawa's friends, so that'd be an insanely neat way to parallel that for Atsushi.

Back to how I personally interpret the chapter (within canon that is), I simply don't feel like the author is trying to put Dazai under a bad light / give him flaws? Which makes me reluctant to believe Dazai is lying at any point in that scene. Yes I know we shouldn't take what characters say at face value. Yes I know the author explicitly stated they didn't mean that chapter to come off as abuse apologism. Even then, that chapter feels to me like a clumsy attempt to carry on bsd's deeply grey morality and themes that “good people can do bad things and bad people can do good things”, with the outcome of stating that the abuse Atsushi underwent did him good (and also that abusers are to be considered fathers). But it all might be just my own shortcoming ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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it’s crazy how i don’t know what any of you do for school/uni/work? who are you guys outside of tumblr? what do you work as?? 

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Hey if I made a different blog that was half bsd (and half other anime/Fandom) do you think that would be good? It's like nature and existential aesthetic do you think that would be good?

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Vintage Flower book 1960s guide. Scandinavian Nature Book by HappyMooseVintage

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MY BELOVED FOUND FAMILY

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when someone asks me what i like

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Worlds Most Normal 55 Minutes Enjoyer watching this episode

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it’s crazy how i don’t know what any of you do for school/uni/work? who are you guys outside of tumblr? what do you work as?? 

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My 8yo niece knows about bsd (vaguely) from catching me checking the mayoi app around her and her favorite character is Higuchi bless

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was reading the lovely @amythecinnabunny ‘s ability switch fic, “all’s well that ends well (to end up with you)” and could not resist drawing some moments—esp weretiger!akutagawa!!

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had a dream about getting addicted to vaseline on toast. my girlfriend crying, begging me to stop eating "that miserable greasy toast"

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got a bit of a friendgroup going

some physical descriptions down below that i based my designs on (since Virgo and Nemo don't have canon designs)

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Goncharov (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese

“The greatest mafia movie (n)ever made.”

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today a Chihuahua made direct eye contact

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movies where someone hears an important message only once and retains all the details….

girl if that were me, we’d be fucked. I have to reread emails like 4 times.