#I need to learn the limits first so then I can start comfortably visualizing what’s possible

[weaselishmcdiesel]

Beginning to think I might have to actually dedicate myself to practicing coding regularly if I’m going to be able to make an attractive game dev journal site let alone an entire damn video game

[n1k0laa5]

Create Void Inhabitants

We talk about the void like it’s this stripped-down sterile loading screen. Black background, no body, no senses, no nothing—just blank silence and pure “power.”

But if you’re still seeing it like that, you’re missing the point. You’re not some helpless floating cursor in a menu. You are GOD. The void isn’t a chamber you enter, it’s YOU, pure, untouched awareness. You’re the container. You’re the presence. You’re the one running this entire show. So why the hell are we treating the void like it’s limited? Why do people tiptoe around it like it’s sacred and unchangeable and can only be interacted with if it gives them permission first?

You made it. You are it. And if you can build entire realities from that space, if you can shift timelines and rewrite your memories and instantly move through infinite layers of self, then guess what? You can also create inhabitants.

Yes. Beings. Companions. Entities. Call them whatever the hell you want.

They don’t have to be visual. They don’t have to talk. They don’t even have to take form. But they can exist, and they can be real to you in the exact same way your desires are real.

And yet so many people are still over here like, “Can I really do that?”

Sugar. Sweetcheeks. Angel. You can make a fucking UNIVERSE from scratch. You think a person in your own consciousness is a stretch? I’m genuinely so tired of people just.. NOT exercising their free will as God?

Why Void Inhabitants Are Powerful As Fuck

Let me nerd out for a sec, because this is where it gets good:

Void inhabitants are not just some little friend to pass time with. They are an extension of your will. They can act as:

• Anchors. When your awareness starts slipping, they can hold you steady. They can quite literally keep your attention focused inside the void when your mind wants to run back to your body or the 3D.

• Guides. Not because they “know more,” but because they reflect what you already know but are scared to access. They are mirrors. They are projections. They are pure, focused archetypes of something already buried deep inside you.

• Caretakers. Ever seen someone script a DR caretaker? Why not give yourself one in the void? Why not have someone to hold your hand when you enter nothingness? Someone who doesn’t judge you. Someone who radiates comfort and nonverbal affirmation. Someone who sees your godhood but also kisses your forehead like you’re a child coming home.

And no, it’s not delusion. It’s literally mechanical.

When you personify something, you create a relational bond, which makes it easier for your subconscious mind to focus and remain stabilized in non-physical space. That’s why visualization is easier when people imagine their ideal self as a person in front of them. It’s why children learn through dolls and characters. It’s why the subconscious responds to symbols and stories better than raw facts.

So creating a void inhabitant is not just some aesthetic choice. It’s neural leverage.

It’s metaphysical insulation. It’s subconscious conditioning. It’s conscious companionship with something you fully made but still treat as its own frequency.

Now let me tell you about my inhabitant.

She Doesn’t Speak, But I’ve Heard Her.

She’s not loud. She’s not made of words. She doesn’t need to talk.

She is made of pure light.

Not blinding. Not glowing like fire.

No. Think soft, dense, matte light. Think softness so intense it has weight.

She never comes in fast. She’s already there. Every time. Even if I don’t feel her at first, I know she’s watching, waiting, close.

She’s… motherly, but not in the way people assume.

Not like some overly nurturing stereotype. She just sees me in a way nothing else does. No agenda. No advice. No “you got this.” Just presence. Just being. Just… “I’m here.” That’s it.

One time, this was in a very deep void state, and I had made the atmosphere a deep oceanic blue, like the darkest hour before sunrise, she placed my head on her lap. I felt it. Like gravity shifted, and her presence held me, and her hand just started moving through my hair.

Not brushing. Just gently gliding over and over, from forehead to scalp, in the same rhythm a mom would do to a sick child. It hit something in me I didn’t even know was there. I almost cried in the void. The fucking void. That’s how real it felt.

I had never, EVER in my life felt something as real as that. And I will never forget it. The way the atmosphere felt colder, the way I physically couldn’t feel my surroundings anymore…

Another time, when I was struggling to stay focused and starting to slip into CR awareness again, I felt her hand on my chest. Right over my heart.

She never pushed me.

She just laid her palm there. Cold fingers, like morning dew. And suddenly, I felt calm. Like nothing could move me unless I wanted to move. Like she was anchoring me with nothing but a fucking touch.

Sometimes she pulls me up, as if gripping my soul.

Sometimes she caresses my face.

Sometimes I can even hear her breathing and whispers.

“Shift” was the only audible word I’ve heard from her.

You too are allowed to be held. You are allowed to feel safe. You are allowed to meet parts of yourself through invented beings that love you better than anyone ever has.

That’s not cringe. That’s healing.

That’s devotion to your inner world. That’s choosing to invest in something no one else can give you.

And if it feels real to you?

It IS.

So if you’re in the void…

And it feels cold. And it feels silent. And it feels like too much nothing—

Invite someone in.

Feel them beside you. Let them kiss your forehead. Let them hold your hand. Let them trace your spine with fingertips like liquid starlight and remind you, in feeling not in words, that you are not some fragile traveler here.

You own this space. You authored it.

And the moment you start treating it like your own divine playground and not some sterile featureless pit you’re only allowed to use for 3 seconds max before snapping back…

That’s the moment you stop visiting the void.

That’s the moment you start inhabiting it.

So go on. Make your companions.

Call them angels. Call them protectors. Call them emotional service animals if you want to be funny about it.

But whatever you do, don’t hold back.

You have all of eternity in your hands.

Why the fuck wouldn’t you fill it with love?

You’re not alone in the void.

Not if you don’t want to be.

[fictionvssleep]

(How to) Study the Blade

I love all the medieval weaponry jokes and shitposts on here, and in case folks are interested in trying out historical European martial arts (HEMA) but aren't sure where to start, you're in luck! There are a lot more opportunities to learn swordfighting than you might think (or related weapons like spear, polearm, axe, and dagger, but swords are definitely the main) (sword pun intended).

First: How does one buy a sword and essential gear? Unless you're at a tournament, the answer is usually online. There are a lot of vendors, and in terms of price point, safety (blades need some flex to not hurt the other person), and being up to tournament standards (so if you ever want to enter one, your sword has you covered), my go-to is Purpleheart Armory: https://www.woodenswords.com/

In general, you can get a longsword or rapier for somewhere between $200 and $300. There are a ton of decisions to make, like what length works for your height? What weight? Ring guard, complex guard? Schilt or no? Do you want to venture into dussack, messer, saber, buckler, parrying dagger, greatsword? There's a vast number of opinions, and asking around (see info on joining a group below!) or checking out people's thoughts on Reddit can be incredibly helpful. It is possible to get sharp blades, but you have to be so. goddamn. careful, and don't even think about using it near anyone else. I'll just recommend the usual steel that you can get, where it's historically accurate and properly weighted and wants to move, but the "edge" is more like the handle of a butter knife than anything else.

When choosing what to get started with, feel free to go with whatever seems coolest or most fun to you, or what you can find guidance for. Longsword and rapier are what you'll run into most often (especially if you misgauge your distance HEYO). While people may assume that it's heavy and slow, only for big and buff people, a longsword is just ~3.5 lbs, which is lighter than a lot of my favorite doorstopper fantasy books (and they're just so f'in cool). And once you're familiar with one weapon, it's amazing how much translates over to others, and even between one-handed and two-handed ones.

If you want to just do solo cuts and drills, a sword is all you need! But as soon as you want to study techniques and historical fencing, the next things you want are head protection and hand protection. These are incredibly important, and depending on your partners/group and how careful they are and how hard they hit, more or less intense gear may be needed. And then a fencing jacket and leg protection get you all the way there. Some jackets are more intense but hotter and limit mobility more, and others are more comfortable but less protective- historical fencing is full of these kinds of tradeoffs and decisions. Note that no amount of gear, no matter how expensive and well-made, can leave you fully protected. You need to be able to trust your partner to keep you safe and keep them safe in turn. And even then, accidents can happen, so it's important to have a plan and a just-in-case first aid kit on hand.

Second: What materials can you learn from? There are historical treatises and manuals out there (Liechtenauer, Meyer, Fiore...), modern books that cover the same bases with visuals added in, and a number of people have put their own guides and lessons online. Especially helpful for more intuitive visual learning, there's a lot on YouTube. For getting a feel for longsword cuts and solo drills, I love Björn Rüther's channel:

Third, while it's possible to have a great time and develop some skills solo: There's nothing like learning from other people. Joining a club or at least stopping by and trying it out is a game changer. This site catalogs every documented HEMA group: https://www.hemaalliance.com/club-finders

Look at this! It's crazy, right?? There are so many clubs! Note that some are full-on businesses with a full-time rented space and professional coaches, lots of classes every week, and dues to cover those expenses. Others may be just people who regularly gather to learn from and teach each other and spar, which keeps costs low but may limit how often or where you can practice. For a number of groups, you can drop in to try it out without needing to invest money in equipment first.

But very importantly: Groups vary a ton. Many are full of the kindest people you've ever met who will be so excited to show you the ropes. But some may have a gross atmosphere of toxic masculinity, some may encourage hitting hard to "teach people a lesson" about failure, and some may be really into glorifying European culture in a way that gets white supremacy-y. So when you're seeing what groups are around you and checking them out, pay attention: Is this a group where women feel comfortable? Queer folks? People of color? People of varying ages and mobility? And: Is there a member conduct policy or agreement? Is there a protocol for what to do if someone makes others feel unsafe or hurts them? Being ready to answer the hard questions to protect everyone's safety and following through are a green flag for a group.

And lastly: You don't have to be crazy fit to get started! Whatever may feel like a barrier to entry, something you think you have to be able to do first- "No, I need to be able to run five miles and do 50 push-ups before I could ever start something like that" - NOPE! It's important to listen to your body, not push to the point of pain, and rest and stretch as needed, but you can always start. And there's nothing like doing something incredibly fun and that requires a lot of focus to make exercise joyful as hell.

NOW GO FORTH AND STAB

[ohprcr]

Hello! I've followed your art journey throughout the years on several social medias (though I tend to made and then deactivated accounts as often as breathing due to my impulsiveness haha). I want to start learning art seriously, inspired by you. And tbh I usually got motivation to keep going by putting my progress on the internet, even when no one is looking nor gives me validation, it just feels like I did something rather than keeping the progress to myself. Like, I need a visual tracker.

So I'd love to know your opinion on the pro and cons of the social medias you use to share your art? Especially instagram, twitter, and tumblr (Since I plan on making one each). What kind of culture and rules I must abide, what notice I should take. Which platform is the most comfortable for you? And do you always post the same artworks on all your platforms or you have your own classification on what kind of artwork you'll put on instagram, which one is for twitter, etc? Thanks in advance!

Hi!

First of all thanks for asking me! It's so nice to hear that you're planning to share your art ^^ This is probably gonna a bit long and mostly based on my personal experience, but I hope this helps!

The first socmed I use to mostly (and solely) post art was Instagram. My interactions there are mostly reconnecting with art mutuals from the deviantART days and some RL friends/family. I used to post regularly on Instagram but with how the algorithm works now that they're under Meta, I rarely participate in trends or post reels, and I mostly just post finished art and some speedpaint videos. But if you want you can def use the reels feature to create process video, etc. I like the carousel/stringed together image format and it can be utilized to post a lot of images in one post (up to 20 for now). I also use instagram as some kind of portfolio, with how it present a clean grid. I have RL friends and family following me there so I mostly just post general art, nothing too suggestive.

As for Tumblr, I've had it for quite a long time and it can be traced back to the ol'fandom days haha. I don't participate much in fandoms anymore, but I think it's always a good thing to post either original or fanart with proper tags on Tumblr. The comprehensive tagging method lets you scrounge and filter posts under the tag, so my older posts usually still circulate on other people's blogs even years after it was posted (which I'm grateful that they still enjoy my old stuff!). I mostly post finished art on Tumblr, sometimes multiple images in one post but it's a bit limited compared to Instagram. i don't post videos on here. I also use Tumblr as an archive bc it's much easier to track back my old posts.

The most recent socmed I use is Twitter. Maybe it's already a known fact how the site is kinda falling off after it changed to X :" but I still use it mainly to communicate with friends. I post more liberally on Twitter, from finished art, videos, animation, sketches and personal stuffs as well. It's also where my promotional posts get the most reach in terms of visibility (this includes commissions, merch catalogues, etc) and most clients I've had in the past found me there. I think the community is also more active on Twitter, but sometimes it can also lead to discourses/fighting that I don't rly wanna take part in :" I've seen people moving to Bluesky as well, though I personally haven't used it yet.

All in all I think I mostly crosspost my works across all of my socmed, with a few exceptions on each socmed. I hope this helps and happy posting!!

[castieltrash1]

Not sure if you’re still taking Gosling sleepover requests but if so...

How Noah would comfort you, and/or how Driver would fantasise about you 👀

i combined your first req with another ask and wrote how noah calhoun would comfort you here!

driver x gn!reader; smut, masturbation, kind of stalker vibes, voyeurism, marking/hickeys/bites/etc, mentions of oral

He fights past the haze of your presence long enough to make it to his apartment, letting out a sigh of relief once the door locks behind him with a distinct click. His hands have an uncharacteristic twitch to them as he rips his right glove off, calloused fingertips tugging desperately at the zipper on his jeans. Six seconds. That’s how long it took to go from the lobby to the second floor, where you lived. One word. All you’d said was “two,” pointing at the respective button in the elevator, unaware that he was already reaching for it; that the lines between what he’d learned about you and the information you knowingly offered had begun to blur.

As he steadies himself, padding over to the couch, he thinks of the first time he saw you up close. Not just in passing, holding a door open, or shifting past you to get his mail. He’d been scoping out the man who lived beneath him, Mr. 305, whose unruly attitude made his already odd hours even more restless. But, instead of finding whoever made his floor shake in the early hours of the morning, he’d found you already pounding on the man’s door, muttering under your breath about the pounding on your ceiling. 

All that kept you apart was one floor, one annoying tenant he couldn’t risk being the reason you moved out. The noise stopped eventually when the man broke his lease without explanation, and the sleepless nights he caused became a distant memory. 

Now, you were the thing keeping him up. His insomniac tendencies of restless legs and periodic nightmares devolved into something greater, an unshakeable arousal that turned to vivid wet dreams the second he let rest overtake him. He was waking up drenched in sweat more times than not, plagued with the thought of your smile, the way your lips curled, and what they’d look like wrapped around his cock instead.

The sight is something he can imagine if he tries hard enough, but the sensation is harder to create. He frees his cock with his bare hand but wraps his gloved palm around it to start. The leather creates a delicious friction that’s almost too uncomfortable to bear, but the foreign feeling bolsters the dissonance between his mind and body, allowing him to believe it’s your touch instead. Still, you’d be gentler, he thinks, coaxing out his orgasm with timid patience. 

Normally, he’s great at waiting -- five minutes, at least -- but not in times like these. When he’s alone, all he knows is hard and fast. Without a partner to focus on or enjoy it with, his arousal becomes more of a hassle, something he needs to get past quickly. You’ve taught him restraint, whether you know it or not. Instead of rough strokes, he gently squeezes up the length of his cock, leather warming against his blood-rushed skin.

A low gasp leaves his lips, your name tumbling out right after. The image of you that flashes in front of his eyes makes him dizzy. You’ve been pushed to your limit, bare and flushed with the exertion of his passion. Its evidence covers you; hickeys, bites, spit, and cum creating a mismatched pattern across your body. The best part is the lustful gaze you give him, lids heavy but still hungry for more.

There’s greater definition in his fantasies now, in the last few days, then before. Your body was something he could never recreate perfectly, no matter his attempts. He needed a visual, just once. A single glimpse would last a lifetime.

It took a few nights, but you finally gave him one.

Parked covertly under your second-floor window, he watched in awe as you undressed after a long day. If it hadn’t been for his own selfish desires, he would’ve told you to get better blinds - or to at least remember to close them before you changed. But, he hadn’t, sitting silently and mentally recording every sliver of exposed skin he could catch. He didn’t touch himself either, not allowing a single distraction to pull his attention from you.

And, even though you retreated to the bathroom before your underwear came off, it was enough. It’s enough now, pulling him over the edge in one fell swoop.

As his release drips down kidskin knuckles, he wonders if you wanted him to watch, and if, next time, you’d let him touch you instead.

gosling sleepover sunday (no longer taking requests!)

[thehiddenbaroness]

Entry 9: Like Cold Oatmeal

1/24/25

(Just had to go back and fix the dates for the prior two entries because no, we’re not in 2024 anymore, and also yikes January is almost over!)

I’ll come out and say it: eBook formatting, so far, has been a bit of a bitch. Part of it, I think, had been my skewed expectations since my digital reading is limited to PDFs for work and a few novels to edit in Word or GoogleDocs – I don’t own an e-reader, and generally far prefer to read physical books, so I’m not as familiar with what’s considered standard or comfortable. 

To back up a bit: of course eBook is going to be one of the formats for the whole novel, but right now my focus has been on what needs to be done so my website (and mailing list) can go live. One of those preparatory tasks has been to format the prologue and first chapter to act as a reader magnet for the newsletter (for those not familiar with the concept: essentially, a freebie for signing up). I’ve used both Reedsy and Kindle Create and so far, the results have either been simply botched or very underwhelming compared to my beautifully formatted Word document. I’m sure some of it is lack of experience, so I’m going to test out some other methods.

But once that’s done, I can test out one of my fulfillment platforms: LaterPress. I’m a little dubious since I can’t find a downloads-per-month limit or similar, but we’ll see how it goes. I want to give it a shot before we pay for BookFunnel, even though that’s its own inevitability farther down the road. In general I’m looking forward to gaining a first-hand understanding about how this and the newsletter management will work on the back-end, since it’s making me a bit nervous.

The website going live is a bit misleading. It will be live, sure, but for the time being it’s only going to have a single landing page with a ‘Coming Soon!’ -type message, plus the newsletter sign-up form. While I wait for marketing art and such to be complete, I figured something was better than nothing, and building that mailing list is so, so important. Once it is live, though, I’m ‘safe’ for my other social media presences to go ‘live’ too, and by that token can start the slow but steady chug-a-chug of the hype train. In a way that kinda starts the clock, which is also nerve-wracking, but it too is inevitable.

In other news, yesterday I received a first draft of the map from my map artist! I can’t share it until it’s complete and on my website, but I’m excited to show you. While there are some aspects that didn’t turn out like my original concept, I’m very pleased with the results so far and the artist has been great to work with – I feel I’ve learned a lot not only in how to trust another professional’s judgment, but also in how this visual translation process works (e.g., for clarity there’s been several things that I opted to remove). Although this version will be in black and white out of necessity, I hope to one day have a larger, color, fuller map from her as well. (For those curious, my artist is Melissa. Highly recommend.)

Our snow-days are pretty much over, down here in the south. I spent yesterday writing to take a break from all this admin stuff – which frankly was starting to get overwhelming – but before I get back to it today I need to clean my house.

+++++ Baroness' Self-Publication Journal Masterpost I'm journaling what I uncover as I do more research for self-publication of my novel! I'll be using the tag "#sp journal". All of this will eventually wind up as part of a larger, more detailed guide for which I'm making notes.

[the-penguin-of-baskervilles]

I was so excited to see that you’d posted! I’ve been looking forward to chapter two and hanging on with every bit of my limited patience, and it was well worth the wait.

First, let’s be honest: Gaz clearly doesn’t know how to be a cat. He should’ve woken her up by standing on her head and screaming at the top of his lungs for breakfast. 😆

However, the biscuits he made on her back were so cute. The mutual pining between them was *chef’s kiss* perfection! 🥰

I loved how he’s trying so hard to tell/show her who he is and she’s just missing the point. At the same time, how much disbelief does a rational person have to suspend in order to think their best friend was turned into a cat? I get why she’s “slow on the uptake.”

I loved these lines in particular:

He didn’t like being so far away from your face. He was used to being taller than you – used to leaning his head over your shoulder to get you flustered, used to looking down into your gorgeous eyes and not being able to contain his smile. 

My heart! ❤️

There’s something so intimate and beautiful about missing being close to someone’s face…

Kyle flicked his elegant tail

I can see this in my head so clearly. I’ll bet he’s enjoying having the tail. It probably makes his balance so much better. He might miss it when he’s turned back into a human. 😂

Also, the sounds he’s making by accident are super cute. They say cats can make over 1000+ sounds. Kyle’s pretty clever so I wonder if he’ll figure out this new voice box enough to try and communicate with her.

However, I imagine that would probably end up with her just being like: 😑 … dude, you need voice lessons. Or maybe another trip to the vet.

This was how imagined her stroking Kyle’s cheeks:

I was thrilled when he started getting into being a cat and finding the perks. Their sleep schedule? Ugh, you get those 16 hours, cat!Kyle. You’ll miss it when you’re human.

… his thick chest fur like a cravat tied around his neck

I loved this image, too. It really puts the visual into your head. 👌

She’s totally valid for feeling crazy about all his human like behaviors. I would, too.

Also, I think I’m getting vibes that I was on the right track about him figuring out what vocalizations work in his cat body. He chirped at the vet and she was able to figure out that he meant ‘yes’ so maybe there’s hope? 👀

With Kyle being such a cuddly cat and knowing how to use a toilet, I bet she thinks she’s found the most perfect cat ever. So low maintenance!

…the cold water of reality would drown him once again.

Your writing is so effortlessly poetic. I love it.

That phone call broke my heart too. 💔

Kyle attempting to comfort her with the blanket even though he could barely drag it was adorable!

Another detail that jumped out at me was the part where it said that he “wasn’t supposed to be out in the field for a week…”

🧐

Does this mean that Kyle is AWOL? Like, are the 141 searching for him? Is the army concerned/upset? They must be.

Captain Price has to be looking for him, right?

Right?!!

I’m so excited for your next chapter! I can’t wait to see how things work out. Kyle can’t be a cat forever. Someone has to figure out that he’s actually in a cat’s body sooner or later. Maybe with more time, the reader will learn Gaz’s cat language enough to put things together. I really hope that the other members of the 141 will make an appearance soon. They have to be searching for him by now.

Maybe they just haven’t put things together enough to question the reader yet? I really, really want to see cat!Gaz getting pissed off when one of the 141 guys flirts with her. 😂

Thank you for sharing this chapter!

Whiskers & Wishes - Gaz x Reader (2)

help, it's again.

two of the images used are renders done by loneghostwolf88 and BettyBRenders3D

Gaz x F!Reader, eventual smut (final chapter only).

this is: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | TBA

Summary:

Gaz knows you very well - he's been in love with you for the better part of a year. So when he jilts the wrong woman and ends up being turned into a cat for his troubles, surely the person who knows him best will recognise him, even like this... right?

You know Gaz very well - you've been pining over him for the past year. So when he disappears without a trace and a strange cat appears at your apartment, the little coincidences that remind you of Kyle are just your anxious mind making false connections... right?

Read on AO3 or below the cut!

When your eyelids fluttered open the next morning, you were greeted by the rise and fall of a fluffy chest and hazel eyes that peered into your own.

“Meow.”

A deep inhale – a resigned sigh.

“Good morning,” you groaned and promptly shoved your head back into your pillow. Why was your fluffy little feline friend still in your apartment – let alone in your bed? Maybe you’d been wrong; he didn’t have a home to return to. But he’d looked so well taken care of last night, with bright eyes and a shiny coat. Plus, he’d recognised the cat door on your balcony and how it worked. Perhaps he’d had owners up until recently… there wasn’t a collar on him, after all.

A wave of fury washed over you at the thought, and you scowled into the pillows. Your daze was interrupted by an odd pressure on your lower back. You turned and saw the cat gently making biscuits on your lower back; his claws kindly tucked away like a gentleman. 

“Thank you, pretty kitty,” you chuckled in a sleep-hoarse voice, one arm stretched back as you caressed his soft ears. The cat just purred and stared back at you with those wide, hazel eyes that strangely reminded you of…

Kyle.

He should’ve been on a plane halfway across the country, but you knew he’d have replied to your message overnight. He always did. It was something you loved and hated about him in equal measure. You revelled in his attention, but those little tastes made the way you hungered for the real thing even worse. 

You checked your phone. Nothing. You opened every single app with a text chain with Kyle, but the only new messages were the ones you’d sent him about the cat. They were all left on delivered, not even read. 

“Strange,” you whispered to yourself.

It was at that moment that the cat started meowing furiously. 

“Well, excuse me, cranky!” You blinked in surprise before turning back to your phone. The torrent of noise continued.

“Mrrp!” You felt fur brush your cheek before a brown paw struck out at your screen like lightning.

You gasped and jerked your head around, your cat still bapping at Kyle’s contact photo. 

‘Demanding little beast’ , you thought.

“Are you hungry? Is that it?”

A low, frustrated “Mrrow…” was the only reply.

“If you want something, you don’t need to get violent about it…” you groaned as you clambered out of bed, “Sassiest cat I’ve ever bloody met.” You tossed your phone on the bed before stumbling into the kitchen.

— — —

Well. Shit…

That was all Kyle could think of as he stared at your abandoned phone. Smacking at his own face when you checked your messages had been, admittedly, a half-baked plan to get you to connect the dots. But until he had something more solid, there wasn’t much more he could do than get you to associate real-him with cat-him . 

You were right about one thing, though. He was hungry.

He brushed up against the soft skin of your legs until you picked him up like you had the night before. He didn’t like being so far away from your face. He was used to being taller than you – used to leaning his head over your shoulder to get you flustered, used to looking down into your gorgeous eyes and not being able to contain his smile. 

He settled for being cradled into your shoulder instead. 

You reheated some of last night’s chicken and placed it on a dish in front of him… on the ground. 

Absolutely not. He was not about to eat from a plate on the bloody floor. It was just plain demeaning. He blinked up at you, desperate to convey his disgust.

“Come on, baby, it’s the same stuff as last night. What’s the problem?”

Kyle padded over to your little dining table and leapt up onto one of the chairs, his head barely peeking over the edge. 

“Meow.”

You stared at him with one hand on your hip, the other clutching your tea.

Your jaw dropped. “You cannot be serious.”

Kyle flicked his elegant tail.

“You are the weirdest cat I have ever seen,” you grumbled as you picked up the dish and placed it on the table before him. You shook your head and sat down opposite him with your mug.

 It was a strange parallel version of a scene he’d lived dozens of times before, sharing drinks and conversation after he’d spent the night on your couch, having found reason after reason to stick around until you told him it was too late for him to go home. Christ, of all the times to be unable to speak with you, this fever dream of a situation was definitely the worst.

He heard you sigh as he ate. He didn’t need to look up to know you’d have your face rested in one hand, eyes half-closed in sleep. Your cheek squished up and oh-so kissable. 

“You didn’t go home last night, mister.” Kyle felt your finger rub behind his ear, turning his face until you brushed his cheek instead. “You must belong to someone, a stray could never be as audacious as you are and survive.” 

‘Oi!’ he thought. A little chirp came out of his mouth.

“Don’t argue with me. You know I’m right.” He licked your finger in retaliation.

“No collar, though, and no one in this building knows you.” You sighed, lips pursed in thought. “I’ll have to take you to the vet, hmm? See if you’ve got a microchip.” 

Kyle bristled at the suggestion as you stroked his neck fur, oblivious. On second thought, he knew there was no record or microchip to be found. If you learned this and kept him, it would give him more time to find a way to communicate with you. Plus, he wouldn’t have to live on the streets while waiting to become human again.

He hopped onto the table and wove around the dish to nuzzle his head under your chin. ‘Come on, normally it takes you five seconds after spotting a stray before you’re crying to me about how you want to take it home,’ Kyle thought as he sat up and looked at you with the widest eyes he could manage. ‘I’m fucking adorable, get attached to me!’

You let out a small ‘aww’ and cradled his face in your hands. “Sweet little guy,” you cooed before you kissed his forehead. 

Mission success.

You massaged his cheeks with your fingertips and kissed his forehead again. “Aren’t you so handsome?” Kyle’s chest rumbled with a purr against his will. Maybe there were a few perks to the whole ‘cat’ business, after all.

— — — 

The cat had been surprisingly cooperative when you’d gotten him ready for the vet. 

He jumped into the box of his own free will and stayed put the entire walk down to the car. He sat upright in the passenger seat with refined posture as you drove to the vet, his thick chest fur like a cravat tied around his neck. 

This animal just seemed so… human. You felt like you were going mad each time you had that thought.

He was perfectly polite in the waiting room and during the initial check-up – he’d only sent you one murderous glare when the doctor pressed on his hips and belly to check for lumps. 

“I’m not picking up a microchip, and there’s no record at our practice of a cat with his description who isn’t microchipped.” The vet’s voice was gentle as she moved to put the scanner back in a drawer. “I agree, it’s doubtful that he’s a stray based on his appearance, health, and what you’ve told me.” You looked down at the feline as he pushed his head further into your hand, waiting for you to run your hands down his neck and shoulders. 

“He’s such a sweet thing,” you murmured, “I can only imagine how worried his owners must be, but I don’t understand why he didn’t just go home last night. It’s literally what cats do!”

“Unfortunately, it’s more common than you might think for people to take collars off family pets and dump them or leave them behind when moving.” The vet sighed. “You’re more than welcome to search for the owners, but if you want to hold onto him in the meantime, I suggest you have him registered with us under a name and consider a collar. 

“Plus,” she smiled, tilting her chin at the cat, “It’s obvious he adores you.” 

Your eyes flicked down to the ball of deep brown fur nestled up to your arm, big eyes boring into your own.

“I think that’s an excellent idea.” You smiled up at the other woman. “What do you think?” you cooed down at the little cat, who now sported an unimpressed glare. He chirped.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

When you left the vet’s, you had a cat registered as Mister with a collar to match, some wet cat food, cat toys, and a litter box. You hoped it wouldn’t take too much encouragement for him to use it.

— — —

There was no force in Heaven or Earth that could make Kyle use a fucking litter box. 

He’d diligently suffered through the poking and prodding like a good little soldier, he’d sat patiently when you’d bought feathery little playthings, and he’d even kept his temper when you’d placed a collar and tag with your phone number around his neck.

Although, he’d had to remind himself to be mad about the collar, repressing the satisfied feeling in his gut at the idea you’d staked a claim on him, something that announced him as yours for everyone to see. It had to be some side effect of this cat business. Yes, that was definitely it…

But the one thing that had immediately tipped him over the edge was the litter box. As soon as you’d picked up the repulsive thing, Kyle’s reaction was to huff out, ‘Absolutely fucking not!’  

Unfortunately, all you had heard was a long, low growl with his ears pinned to his skull.

Two days later, you would come running into your bathroom after hearing the toilet flush when you were home alone. Instead of coming face-to-face with an intruder, you made direct eye contact with Kyle as he stood on your toilet seat with his back paws, his front half leaning on the half-flush button. Both of you froze.

He blinked at you.

You blinked at him.

‘Please,’ Kyle thought, ‘Surely this is weird enough for something to click in that pretty head of yours.’

“Holy shit,” you mumbled. “I’ve seen this in YouTube shorts, I didn’t think anyone ever actually taught their cats how to use the bathroom.”

Kyle adored you, but he was starting to question your intelligence.

He displayed the same aversion to the cat food, constantly begging to sit at the table with you and eat whatever you were having. Eventually, you’d caved, and now you made him a dinner mix of rice, vegetables, and meat. He still made you pick him up for at least a little while when you cooked. He craved the sound of your heartbeat against his ear and the smell of your hair when he nuzzled into your neck. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend he’d found you like this after a long day of work, coming home and wrapping his arms around your waist while you told him about your day. He could pretend it was a certainty that you would share the same bed as him, that he was allowed to hold you, to kiss you, to feel you. A universal constant.

But then you would scratch behind his ears and call him a “Spoiled little baby,” and the cold water of reality would drown him once again.

Later that night, Kyle heard you try to call him.

“Look, I just–” Your exhale was fragile. One hand covered your eyes as you stood half in moonlight and half in shadow, painted like a sinner at confession. 

“If I did something wrong when you were last here, Kyle,” Your voice broke over the letters of his name. No bullet could ever hurt him more than that sound.

‘Never! You could never,’ he thought.

“I’m so sorry. I know you’re probably just really busy, and you can ignore this–” You paused to regain your breath, your face crumpled under the pressure of your pain.

‘I’m not ignoring you, darling. I’m still here.’

“But please,” Your eyes locked onto his across the room, but you did not see him . “Please just let me know that you’re okay.”

‘I’m still here!’

Kyle watched you hang up the voicemail and sink into the couch. Guilt settled heavily in his chest like a stone. ‘Please,’ he thought, ‘God, anyone, fix what has happened to me so I can comfort her properly.’  

Nothing changed.

He would make do. For you, he could always make do.

Kyle bounded into your bedroom and jumped onto your bed, nudging at your spare blanket until it fell to the floor. He began to drag the blanket out into your living room, one corner in his mouth. He tripped over the damn thing a few times, the fabric much heavier than his smaller body. 

Christ, being a cat was fucking inconvenient.

Your head perked up at the drag of fleece over your carpet, and you looked shocked. You reached down to pull the blanket up around you. “Thank you, baby,” you mumbled at him. Kyle’s skin felt too tight. 

Gaz shook himself out and leapt onto your couch, huddling down beside your face. Kyle rubbed his face against yours, laying little licks across your neck and cheeks. Eventually, your breathing calmed, and you pulled back to look him in the eyes. “Sweet little thing,” you whispered. He could hear that sandpaper-rough exhaustion in your voice. His stomach felt like it was trying to escape his body.

‘I’m sorry,’ Kyle had never wanted to wrap himself around you more.

— — —

Your heart had split somewhere between the third dial tone and the voicemail beep. Fear had clawed its way inside you, dragging you down from where it was anchored into your chest. 

Kyle would never ignore your messages for no reason, which meant that either something was very wrong or he was upset with you, and he wasn’t meant to be out in the field for at least a week, so the only other possibility was that you were stupid and you had–  

The unravelling thread of thoughts was shattered by Mister dragging a blanket towards you. 

‘What a smart creature!’ you thought at the time . ‘Did his previous owner teach him this? Can cats be taught things like this? Where the fuck did he even know where to find this blanket!?’

“Thank you, baby,” you managed through tears, curling up under the warm fleece.

Mister settled in next to you and rubbed his head against you, licking stray tears from your neck and cheeks. You marvelled at how brilliant this cat was. It was as if he understood what you were feeling. You took his head in your palms and moved back to look at him.

“Sweet little thing,” you whispered. Your voice sounded too quiet. 

Mister let out the softest, smallest mewl you’d ever heard. The tiny sound slithered into the crack in your chest, and you didn’t think you could survive it. There was a strange guilt at the idea your sadness was infecting your poor cat.

“Aww, sweetheart!” You chuckled weakly, “Are you worried about me, Mister?”

“Mrow,” Mister pressed a paw against your forehead. You let out a wet laugh and took the small thing in your hands, “Look at your little toe beans!” You sniffed, running your fingertip over the sensitive pads before pressing on the middle of Mister’s paw. His claws shot out around your finger, and it looked oddly like he was holding your hand. This time, you let out a genuine laugh, the sound devoid of tears.

The awful roiling in Kyle’s gut finally subsided.

“What a big, scary guy, huh?” You carefully kissed his paw before letting go, pulling Mister further into your arms before the exhaustion of the day took hold of you right there on the couch.

— — — 

Gaz’s heart rate had reached an unhealthy speed when you’d called him that. 

Big, scary guy.  

God. You’d kissed his palm, too. It didn’t matter if this was not his actual body. He could feel it all the same. 

And yet, you had no idea. He knew then that he was fucked. He was horrifically and hopelessly in love with you. It was a truth carved into his soul. 

He was in love with you, and he was still a fucking cat.

[tim-han-reviews]

Uncertainty is where the magic happens. Embrace it, go with it and see what happens. ✨ by Tim Han from Success Insider

Do you remember the first time you tried to ride a bike? The apprehension, the wonder, the fear gripping your small, inexperienced hands. Yet there was an unexplainable thrill, the exhilarating call of the adventure, the challenge, the freedom that beckoned you. This palpable mixture of emotions is what we often recognise as uncertainty.

Uncertainty taps into our primal instincts - fear of the unknown. It's a natural human response. After all, our ancestors survived by being cautious and avoiding unknown dangers. But the modern world is not the wilderness of the past. Today, we need to adapt and thrive in a different kind of 'wild' – a terrain mapped with complexities, innovation and opportunities.

Such is the power of uncertainty. Similar to the first ride on the bike, it’s a ride into unfamiliar territory. Yet, embracing uncertainty not just pushes you beyond your comfort zone, but it is in fact an invitation to explore new horizons, rethink possibilities, and give birth to innovative ideas. My journey from being just another dreamer to becoming an influencer in the world of personal development education and creating companies like Success Insider and programs like the LMA Course, lies testimony to this.

I would love to share a story of Michael Jordan. Considered as one of the greatest basketball players of all time, Jordan was once quoted saying, "I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed". This was a man who embraced his uncertainties. Each failure became a driving force, propelling him towards greater heights.

Uncertainty nurtures growth. It's where the magic happens. Through my journey as an entrepreneur and life coach, I've learned to see uncertainty as a catalyst for change. When you're unsure, it’s evidence that you're on the brink of learning something new, that you're expanding your limits.

You’re now at the edge of your comfort zone. Visualize uncertainty not as a monstrous challenge but as an opportunity to transform into a stronger, wiser version of You. Tim Han was once uncertain too. I remember sifting through countless Tim Han reviews, studying, reassessing, and I can tell you, it was all worth the ride. Today, I stand here, urging you to embrace your uncertainties. For it is only when we let go of the fears of the unknown that we allow ourselves to dream bigger, achieve greater, and experience the sheer joy of transformation.

So, how do you make uncertainty work for you? Start with small steps. Tiny changes. A tweak in your routine. A new book. A different route to work. See what unfolds.

Life won’t change overnight; but gradually, you'll notice a transformation brewing within. A new idea may surface, a different perspective may emerge. And soon, you'll be face-to-face with a whole new world of unknown marvels – the ones you could never conceive in the coddling comfort of your routine.

Embracing uncertainty is not about being reckless; it's about exploring potentials. You're not diving blindfolded into an abyss but paving a new path of discovery, one step at a time.

As we navigate through this evolving journey, remember to be kind to yourself. There will be ups and downs, triumphs and disappointments. But that's okay. It’s all part of the grand plan. The nit grits, the twists and turns, the euphoria and the disappointments - they all build character, resilience and wisdom. They breed Success Insiders.

So, my friend, are you ready to shed those layers of fear? Ready to embrace the beauty of uncertainty? Remember, life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Trust the magic of the journey. Believe in yourself - because you, yes, You, are capable of extraordinary things. Step into the world of uncertainty. Embrace it, go with it, and see what happens.��

[ingiexoxo]

꒰ MANIFESTING WHILE HANDLING SCHOOL ꒱

꒰১ ໒꒱ — i know a lot of people have a hard time with manifesting and managing school, and since school is starting, here’s some tips :) ! ‧₊˚

LOADING… ⌵

꒰১ ໒꒱ — TIPS AND TRICKS

DURING SCHOOL … ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

squeeze in affirmations when you can — when you’re finished with a test, in the hallways, already know the material, or even on the bus. this can get SO MUCH more extra time and makes things easy for you, while preoccupying you !

PLACEBO EFFECTS !! “everytime i use a pencil my ass is fatter” ; “everytime i learn something new my crush loves me more and more” — come up with some fun placebos. they work for you without you having to put too much mental effort.

remember, you don’t need to constantly affirm 24/7. use that to your advantage <3 !! thinking as if is a main key of the law of assumption. you can just use that throughout the day and make it as natural as thinking about anything else.

AFTER SCHOOL … ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

please, first off, for the love of neville goddard, DO NOT let manifestation ruin your social life. it doesn’t need to !! there’s so many ways to make manifeststion minimalist. especially with studies. study first.

take advantage of weekends ! those are one of the best times to manifest. you really don’t need more than a weekend when a 48 hour challenge exists !

manifesting overnight is another amazing way ! again, don’t do this at the expense of your sleep. however, if you’re healthy doing so, the lullaby method and SATs are amazing ways to cram manifesting in. you can also just KNOW that when you wake up you have it <3 !

subliminals are so useful ! you can affirm “subliminals always work for me” and listen to them while you study or fall asleep. you can put ones on with visible music while you’re getting ready or on the bus / in the car !

nicest way i can put it — stop with the void obsession. especially with school. it’s unhealthy, it hurts your sleep schedule, etc. just consciously manifest :) ! you can also set a limit on how many times you can attempt at entering the void per day.

꒰১ ໒꒱ — BASIC SCHOOL ROUTINE

MORNING … ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

( optional ) : imagine a scene or affirm right after waking up in SATs for a couple minutes

affirm or vaunt while getting dressed ; doing makeup ; in the car or bus ; having breakfast — whenever you can

WITH SCHOOL … ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

( optional ) : use any of the tips i suggested above !

( optional ) : revise your school day using whatever method you prefer — would reccomend if you have an SP at school !

EVENING … ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

affirm / script / visualize — do what you usually do for the amount of time you’re comfortable with. i’d affirm while playing subway surfers for ten to thirty minutes.

if you have any schoolwork, listen to subliminals while you do them.

NIGHT … ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

lullaby method, SATs, vaunting — do whatever night method you prefer. you can also use intention.

if you are going to attempt the void, do so once.

WEEKEND … ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

do whatever you’re comfortable with or what you did over the summer ! no rules here <33

꒰১ ໒꒱ — THE LAW & ACADEMICS

MANIFESTING ACADEMICS… ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

when we think of school related things, we usually think of grades. since EVERYTHING is possible — you can manifest good grades without studying. if you don’t have trust in the law, i’d reccomend just studying, since academics can be a sensitive topic.

to manifest good grades : here’s a template on an example with manifesting good grades, since of course you can manifest anything you’d like as long as it causes an assumption. first step, affirm “all my affirmations work instantly” and “i am a master at manifesting good grades”. irepeat that in my head for as long as possible. if it’s at night, use a mixture of the lullaby method / SATs — i’d visualize your desired grade and repeat “i’m getting ( desired grade ) on the test / quiz / etc tomorrow. in the morning i’d live in the end. you can also command your subconsious to give you the right answer during the graded assignment. afterwords, i’d just affirm i got my desired grade or know i’m getting it.

to revise good grades : like i stated above, just assume your grades are the way you want them to be. however, if you want a template — affirm “i am an expert at revision” ; and “every revision i do works instantly”. after those are looped, you can affirm that “i successfully manifested my grades to be perfect”. that’s all !

MANIFESTING A SCHOOL SP… ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

manifesting school SPs can be emotionally taxing, since it’s easy to focus on the 3D. it doesn’t have to be though, i promise <33 .

of course, i always advocate for specific desire concept affirmations. some here are : “i manifest SPs instantly” ; “it is so easy to make any person fall in love with me” ; and MY FAVORITE — “everyone i have feelings for likes me back, always.”

i would affirm and manifest my SP outside of school, since it can feel desperate to affirm while opposite action is taking place. if you see opposite action, you can always assume that opposite action means your manifestation is working. you can always act snobby and say “oh, i KNOW they’re in love with me”. and use every opportunity you can to assume the best about their actions. ex -> “oh they’re in my class? it means they’re so obsessed with me that they tried to get here with me and they’re blushing at having me in the same room.”

stressing about manifesting how someone feels isn’t fun. if you’re like that, and stress about that easily, non-bullshit & clear affirmations do the job just well — ex. “SP is my boyfriend” , or “SP told me they like me.”

ABOUT SCHOOL DESIRES … ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

school desires, to me, are just simple manifestations that occur in school. these help to build faith, strengthen your practice in the law, and just are fun to see bloom : here are some ideas below <3 !

someone wearing a specific color -> classes being cancelled -> something specific for lunch -> a school couple getting together or breaking up -> a student or teacher being absent -> someone getting a certain score on a test -> having good assigned seats -> no homework -> a teacher not calling on you or calling on a specific person -> teachers loving you -> a fire drill happening that week -> getting compliments

꒰১ ໒꒱ — ATHENA CHALLENGE

lastly, here’s a challenge to help manifest something USING school. 💌 — i chose athena since she’s the goddess of wisdom <33 . it’s a five day challenge since school is five days long. let’s get into it ! this is for school popularity and your desired appearance, lol <33 !

MONDAY … ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

affirm that you always get your desires & your affirmations always work instantly. you can always replace affirming with the method you want.

if you want to, you can also affirm “i’m going to have all my desires by the end of this challenge,” and “subliminals grant me all of my desires by one listen”.

TUESDAY … ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

listen to music in the morning while getting ready that makes you feel like a god !!

when you go to school, think as if you’re the most popular person there.

affirm “i am the most popular person at school” and “everybody asks me out”

listen to subliminals while you study.

WEDNESDAY… ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

listen to music in the morning while getting ready that makes you feel like a god !!

placebos ! “everytime i write ( insert desired appearance placebo ) “. ex -> when i write, i’m richer.

at home, affirm for your desired appearance <33.

listen to subliminals while you study.

THURSDAY … ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

listen to music in the morning while getting ready that makes you feel like a god !!

talk to your subconsious on how happy you are that you have all of your desires !

listen to subliminals while you study.

FRIDAY … ⌵ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.

last day ! just repeat “i have all of my desires” on a loop throughout the day. you’re done, congratulations !

thank you so much for reading this post and i hope you have an amazing day ,

— have fun manifesting !

[bitchlessdino]

HorKnee ABCs with Seventeen

A/n: Hi demons, it’s me, ya boi. I am not apologizing for what you guys are about to read. In fact, I hope you suffer. Love you 💕

Tags: too many to list, just don’t interact if you a minor

A- Asphyxiation because you know how you love the way it feels when your breath leaves you airways as Seungcheol wrapped his hand around your throat, dipping his cock deep in your warm and eager cunt

B - or how he Bites you for fun, it’s beyond the limit for fun when you see his teeth marks on the center of your ass cheek

C- Cock and ball torture because Jeonghan loves how you give him a taste of his medicine when you tease his cock they way he teases you 24/7 and since he enjoys the pain

D- or how he Doubles down, fucking you twice as hard against the glass window so anyone from your apartment complex can see who’s giving the best dicking in the world

E- Eating you out for the first time because Jisoo never felt comfortable or confident enough to do it to anyone one until you and that when he learned he loved it

F- or Fucking like rabbits given the opportunity because god knows when he’s get another free day so he takes every free day off to show you how special you are to him

G- Gagging against Jun’s cock like a routine because you just can’t start your day without it

H- Humping you through your clothes because his smiles get manic and has been waiting to have you against him all day

I- Ice cubes for experimenting because Soonyoung learned this shit online and found how fast your pussy melts one, making him cum even faster

J- Japanese rope bondage or shibari for short, he was reading up a lot online for ideas, hardly controlling himself when he has you tie him up so intricately

K- Kissing up your inner thigh because you’ve seen his fast reflexes on his tongue. Wonwoo for sure knows how to use it

L- Licking in your most private of places he’s pretty intuitive about where you liked to be licked and how you lived feeling worshiped

M- Muffling your screams, Jihoon thought the only person that should hear how good sounded taking his cock was him

N- Not letting you cum, because what better way to punish you for making him jealous was using a toy on you with his control over your climax

O - Opening your mouth wide and nice being visual appealing for Seokmin to shoot his load down your throat

P- Pushing his spilled cum back into you since you were never once allowed to waste a single drop

Q- Queen, Mingyu willing calls that you when your wet cunt is pressed against his face, using him like a seat

R - ripping up your panty hose for easy access, considering he’s a pretty destructive person, there was no harm tearing your panty hose if It’d only result in your pleasure

S- Spitting in your mouth or pussy for that matter because Minghao is a mean bitch that likes hearing you gravely moans in your reactions

T- Teasing you in public because he likes how you squirm with his fingers in your pussy at the dinner table, smile as if he couldn’t do anything wrong

U- Underwear you’ve worn because Seungkwan is consumed with you scent, fucking into his hand as he buried his face with your day old panties

V- or Vacation sex, because stroking his cock in you under a nice shade with cute cocktails was his favorite kind of holiday

W- Worrying about hurting you, all Hansol wants to do is make you feel loved and satisfy your every needs

X- E(x)planning the things you like in bed for the first time, making you vulnerable and scared but he reassures you how good he’ll make you feel as he rams in you nice and hard, just how you like it

Y- Yearning the escalation of your orgasm, not because Chan wanted to rush you, but because he fucking loved how loud and careless you get fucked like the dumb slut you are

Z- the Zipper of your dress being pulled down, revealing the skin he’ll be marking for all the world to see how you’re his and only his

[rust-official]

This time round trying emacs is different because I'm using doom (at the brilliant recommendation of one of my partners, mentioned above), which is kind of like one of the neovim distributions but for emacs. Good defaults that match what a 25 year vim veteran wants, enough customizability to fit to what I need. Like any massively complex piece of software, it's taken a lot of getting used to, and there's always more to learn. The doom docs say that learning emacs is an adventure, and I agree.

org mode is cool! There are some plugins that simulate it in (neo)vim of course, but nothing really manages to match org. The more I learn about org, the more I love it--it is always the marquee feature which gets me playing with emacs every time I've wanted to try it. Of course, the most basic features for outlining are state of the art, even among commercial outliners like omnioutliner, everyone knows that. But it also supports cool things like tables with integrated calculator support and exports to every format you can think of and and and. org's manual is hundreds of pages and it can do so, so much. And it's just one package!

Continuing from the above, neovim can't have a plugin that does everything org mode does, for a variety of reasons. It's too mature and has too many people working on it for a few loosely-associated plugin writers to be able to accomplish the same thing. Beyond this, even neovim just doesn't have the same extensibility that emacs does. Most of neovim is still written in C with a thin layer of lua for extensions, whereas the emacs philosophy is a small core in C and the rest in elisp--a lot like atom or, more recently, visual studio code--but using a real language, of course, and not JS.

evil mode is a far better approximation of vim than I was expecting. Just about every other vi mode falters and has bugs / missing features. I've not run into any such limitations or bugs with evil, again probably due to its popularity compared to the vi modes in those other tools, which are often an afterthought (or just removed / dropped entirely, like in the new repl for python 3.13).

The emacs philosophy is as it was 30 years ago when I first tried learning it: it still expects you to open the editor when logging in and never close it. As such it has better tools for managing lots of open buffers (I particularly like ibuffer, it mostly approximates vim's bufexplorer plugin, but it's missing a few things from vim or I don't know about them yet; will be looking at the manual).

There's seemingly a package for everything, and often a few different ones for the same thing. The "emacs is my operating system" mantra makes a lot of sense when viewed from this angle. Lots of things have good documentation, too, and of course, as I said above, so much more is possible in emacs than neovim.

doom's out of the box LSP support seems nicer than neovim's. I'm sure I could get similar results with configuring neovim, perhaps with more plugins or config, but things just feel more robust right from the start. I still need more time to evaluate this, as I've spent the least amount of time editing code. Mostly I've been focusing on editing documents with org mode and the occasional dabbling with magit for doing git stuff. magit is quite nice and very mature; I know it'll work quite well for managing code repos once I'm more comfortable with emacs as a code editor. I have lots of custom keybindings for neovim's LSP support that I'll need to relearn if I want to use emacs as my code editor.

One criticism I do have is that none of the emacs terminal emulators I've tried work well with vi keybindings in my shell; when I press esc to enter normal mode in the shell, the buffer for the terminal emulator goes into evil's normal mode. There may be a way to fix it, but I've not looked into it yet.

Am I going to switch? I don't know. I'm giving it an honest try, a more honest try than I have in the past, and having someone to ask questions is proving absolutely critical. I can't answer this question right now. Maybe? I cannot say how helpful evil has been with this. Modal editing is how my brain works and I don't think I'd be able to learn non-modal editing.

Given how @neovim-official hates me (see here) I have started learning @emacs-unofficial , using @doom-official and hence @emacs-evil-mode.

(this is not entirely a shitpost, one of my partners has been showing me around, largely for org mode but I've always been curious. Back when I got my start with Unix/Linux in the late 90s on a shell provider, emacs was the first editor I tried, but it was so slow to start back then that I switched to vim. How things would've been different for me if computers were faster when I started!)

[buggbuzz]

Hii :). I know it’s a bit of a random question but I’m thinking of becoming a biology major and since you are one of those would you mind sharing a little (or a lot) about what it’s like?

YESSS OKAY!!

technically i'm a biotechnology major, so i'll have some more specific requirements, but right now i'm still in the general biology stage, so it's pretty much the same.

things to note:

if your college is anything like mine, you're gonna need to do biology AND chemistry for a little while. you'll also need to have your math classes covered; pre-calc was my last math requirement, and yours probably will be too

colleges! like! to! scam! you! for example, i'm working on my associate's right now, a "two year" degree. EXCEPT they set the curriculum up for FIVE semesters instead of four. pre-calc was required for bio 1 and chem 1, and i needed to do three bio classes and four chem classes in order. no matter what i did, i'd still have to do more than four semsters. my point? be prepared for stupid stuff like this. plan out all of your semesters to the best of your ability ahead of time so you can avoid being put in a tight spot. check your major's class requirements to make sure you know what you have to do. enroll in your classes the second they're available. and, you'd probably benefit from taking bio, chem, and math ap courses in high school.

biology is a LOT OF READING and it moves VERY QUICKLY!! so much reading. and if you're like me, and you don't really have an issue with reading a lot of dense biology material, don't get cocky. try to stay on the ball and study your textbooks at an even pace, not in huge last-minute bursts; your brain will get overwhelmed and fried REALLY fast.

i've found that one of the best ways to memorize biology is to understand each concept from multiple angles, and to understand how all the pieces go together. other good techniques are remembering interesting little tidbits, making analogies for everything, and connecting things you learn to other things you already know.

biology is also very visual and reminds me a lot of a rube-goldberg machine. think about how all the different moving pieces fit together. drawing out all the diagrams, looking up information about things mentioned offhand, and looking up extra diagrams and images can help a lot. of course, this is coming from an artist and a visual learner, so take that with a grain of salt. (on my instagram i have two different story highlights of my note-taking method! i have a lot of drawings and strategic methods there, so it might help to take a look)

as you can expect, the labs are really gross. i've got a stomach of steel and think parasitic worms are cute, so i'm a lot better off than most people, but even i hit my limits sometimes. you're gonna be shoving your fingers into organs and getting body fluids and fecal matter all over your fingers. also, the smell is unfathomably horrible. i'm serious about that. i've never smelled something so horrible in my entire life. also also im pretty sure the preservative fluid is toxic when consumed, so don't, like, put your mouth on anything dead.

make friends with your classmates, especially your lab partners! having eachother's backs and being able to comfortably collaborate will do your grades, stress levels, and lab performance all a huge favor. scientists are actually really easy to make friends with, too (at least biologists anyways). if you start chatting about different cool biology things you can make friends pretty quickly.

a lot of the practical things in lab are actually more complicated than they look. i went to an art high school and took ap bio after covid, so all of the few experiments we actually had ended up being dried up or cut from the curriculum. the only thing i had real experience with was microscopes because i actually have one at home. so, my first actual lab in college i had to trap a planarian in a slide with a dip in the center, and i shattered like four slide covers trying to set it up (SO FUCKING EMBARRASSING 💀💀💀). it also didn't help that everyone else had actually taken bio 1 in college and had experience with lab equipment already, yeesh. you pick it up fast, though.

you eventually start learning about organ systems. let me tell you something, it is such a goddamn mindfuck to learn about how your body works as its working. you feel like a sentient AI learning about circuitry and programming for the first time. it's pretty useful, though, as far as medical things as concerned, both physical and mental. you're kinda forced to be more aware of your own health.

still, im ecstatic that i'm majoring in bio. absolutely the best thing EVER. i learn something new every goddamn day, and this fall im taking a GENETICS CLASS, my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE THING. i absolutely recommend majoring in biology.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Summary

(The full post with elaborate explanations can be found here.)

Being a responsible adult doesn’t have to mean doing things perfectly - it means doing what you realistically can. Can’t eat 7 fresh veggies and fruits a day? Buy some veggie juice or a smoothie and chug that. Can’t make a proper, healthy meal? Add some extra protein to your instant noodles. Can’t do the dishes? Buy some paper plates. Don’t worry about doing things “the right way”, just do what works.

It’s not cheating to do something the easy way. If there’s an easy or more manageable solution available, use it. Even if some people think it’s lazy. Don’t worry about that. Just focus on finding the methods of doing things which make life easier for you.

Fuck what you’re “supposed” to do. Yes, ideally you shouldn’t run the dishwasher twice, but if cleansing the dishes by hand is not an option and that’s the only way you can get clean dishes, do it anyways! When you’re in a really bad place mentally, fuck the rules. Do what you need to do to get shit done, even if it’s not how you’re supposed to do it.

Do stuff while you’re waiting to do other stuff. We spend a lot of time waiting, so spend the time you’d normally just waste getting some chores done. Collect the trash while your roommate is in the bathroom or wipe down the kitchen counters while you’re making coffee. You can even turn it into a game! How many dishes can you clean before the potatoes are boiling? How much trash can you collect and throw out before your load of laundry is done?

You don’t have to do everything at once. Don’t wait for the day where you’re up for cleaning the entire house cause then you’ll be waiting for ages. You can wipe down one counter and call it a day. You can put away a couple things and leave the rest. You can do one small chore and let that be it. You don’t have to choose between doing everything and doing nothing. Any progress is worthwhile.

Let go of the idea that something has to become a permanent habit to have any value. Doing a certain sport for a month is still healthy even if you then move on to something else. Exploring a new hobby for a while and then moving on to other stuff will always teach you something. What’s good for you today will not necessarily be what’s good for you tomorrow.

Don’t worry about the entire task. Just focus on the first step. Don’t worry about brushing your teeth - just get your toothbrush wet and put tooth paste on it. Don’t worry about writing the essay - just look at the assignment and open a document. Don’t worry about going to the store - just put on your coat and your shoes. Starting a task is a lot easier if you only focus on the step right in front of you.

Imagine that your body is a pet/animal you have to care for. Feed and hydrate yourself, keep yourself and your environment clean, make sure you don’t get under or overstimulated, allow yourself time to rest and relax, find ways to enrich your life (like socializing, media or hobbies) - and do your best to make sure you’re healthy and happy, even though you never actually signed up for being your own zookeeper.

Just because you can’t do it perfectly doesn’t mean you should stop trying. Packing lunch a couple times a week is better than never packing lunches. Journaling or making art once a month is better than never doing anything creative. Exercising every once in a while when you have the energy is better than never exercising. You don’t have to do something every single day for it to be important and helpful.

Put on a professional persona when it’s necessary. Try to separate the anxious and dysfunctional you from the Student You who’s sending that important email or the Client You who’s making that phone call or the Customer You who isn’t afraid to ask for help. It might feel like you’re performing a role, but to be honest, most of us do at times.

When you’re doing chores, act like you’re filming a tutorial. Narrate what you’re doing like someone’s watching. That might make it easier to maintain focus and to keep track of the various steps.

You don’t have to do anything perfectly. Wiping yourself off with some baby wipes beats not doing anything about your personal hygiene. Eating a protein bar beats not eating. Using mouthwash beats neglecting dental hygiene completely. Going for a quick walk beats not moving. It doesn’t have to be perfect to count and make a difference.

Make something you know you have to do the trigger for you to start doing something else. Tell yourself “next time I get up to pee I’ll take out the trash” or “when I get up to get something to drink next I’ll make lunch.” If you HAVE to get up anyways, you might as well.

Assign yourself a deadline. Tell yourself “once this video is over, I’ll do the dishes” or “once this alarm rings, I’ll do my laundry.” 

If you struggle to be compassionate towards yourself, try visualizing your future self as a separate person who you like and want to do favors for. Try to think of your future self as a friend who is separate from your current self and do what you can to make their life easier by doing things like preparing that lunch, doing those chores, taking that shower or making fun plans. I know they’ll be grateful.

Make putting stuff back where it belongs so easy that you “might as well.” Organize your home so that placing stuff where it belongs becomes so easy that you might as well just place it there. For many people that means several laundry baskets, many trash cans and easily accessible and very visible storage options. So if you keep finding things in annoying places, make sure they get an easily accessible home!

Look into why you can’t do something. Is something about the chores you’re struggling to do actually causing you sensory distress and is there something you can do to make it more comfortable? If you hate mint toothpaste, get one that tastes like bubble gum. If old food grosses you out, do the dishes with thick gloves on. If showering makes you feel bad about your body, shower with the lights off. The problem isn’t always about self discipline, and in those cases it’s worth looking into why you’re struggling so much to get certain chores done.

Take care of yourself in order to take care of others ( whether pets or people.) Outside motivation is necessary for many people who struggle with executive dysfunction. For many people getting out of bed is easier when you know someone else is relying on you being somewhat functional. So don’t be afraid to find the motivation to take care of yourself in wanting to take care of others.

Make keeping your place clean as easy as possible. Make sure there’s easy one step access to the things you need often. Make sure that the place where a thing is supposed to be is actually within reach of where you use the thing. Make sure everything has a an easily accessible place to go, even if that means several laundry baskets and several trash cans. Examine what’s messing up your place and find a home for it where you’re likely to actually place it on a regular basis.

Choose one very specific thing to work on - like the bathroom sink or the oven or your desk. If you suffer from executive dysfunction you’ll likely be distracted, but having one specific focus point you can keep returning to will mean that in between getting distracted, you can return to your chosen project and get some shit done.

When something feels overwhelming, tell yourself to “just show up” and that you “won’t have to stay the whole time if it’s horrible.” Cause odds are that once you’ve pushed past your initial mental block, you’re likely to stay and finish what you started.

If you really can’t do something, accept your limits and find a different method. Don’t keep trying to push through via willpower alone. If you need outside accountability to get your shit done, find someone who can hold you accountable. If you know you can’t remember the stuff you’re supposed to remember, make sure to always write things down. If you keep forgetting your meds, set a daily alarm. Don’t keep expecting yourself to be able to do things you always struggle with.

Make your chores into a game. Assign certain chores certain points and make a list of fun rewards you can have once you’ve earned a certain amount of points through doing chores.

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly. Any amount of effort is better than none, so on days where you can’t do something well, do it anyways! Any amount of progress beats not getting started.

Find a momentum and use it to do that thing you’ve been struggling to start doing. You can’t get yourself together to shower? Well, find something you CAN do - and once you’re already doing something, you might be able to channel said energy into showering.

Take it one step at a time. I know a shower sounds overwhelming, but can you take your clothes off? If yes, can you turn on the shower? If yes, can you stand under the stream? Look who just tricked themselves into doing the thing by breaking it down into manageable chunks!

Don’t just break a task into smaller steps - break it into steps so small you can’t possible get overwhelmed and fuck up. “Clean my room” is far too vague - but “set a timer and collect all the trash you can in 10 minutes” is actually manageable and so is “move all dirty dishes to the kitchen” or “remove and/or sort all clothes laying on the floor.”

Don’t worry about how most people do things - worry about what works for YOU. You constantly lose your key? Make ten copies. You overlook your post it notes? Put something with the important reminder on it in front of the door. Got laundry and trash all over the floor? Get more laundry baskets/trash cans. Coping with executive dysfunction is not about learning to do things the neurotypical way, it’s about finding strategies which actually work for you.

When you’re overwhelmed and struggling, find the easiest and fastest way to get rid of some of the distress. Eat if you’re hungry, sleep if you’re tired, pee if you have to, get that thing you’ve been postponing done if you can. The more stressors you can remove, the better - and it’s okay to start with the smaller ones!

Don’t worry about aesthetics. When you struggle with executive dysfunction, maintaining a picture perfect home is probably unrealistic. So drop that dream and focus on making your space practical and functional. Remove the doors of your kitchen cabinets and closets if that will actually make you put stuff away. Get a paper shredder and a mail sorting station if you got mail and advertisements everywhere. Buy all your socks in one color if you struggle to pair them. There are many ways to make your environment more functional. Explore them instead of just trying and failing to make your home look nice.

Get started on your next task before you take your break. Write that first sentence, make that first sketch, get the vacuum cleaner out of the closet or collect the dishes for washing and THEN have your break. Many people with executive dysfunction struggle to start tasks, so for most of us it’s easier to continue something we’ve already started working on than to begin from scratch.

[ivnhgo]

meditation guide for anyone to be able to meditate

Well, first thing to know is that meditation is more related to the state of consciousness than a posture or dogma. We should seek comfortable methods of meditation until we can exercise this state of mind and manage to practice practices that could be more complex for our needs as a body and an individual.

body: Being with the body still is a good technique to understand and disconnect the body, but it is not the only one. The effect of the lack of stimuli or the excess of them is the same in the end, so try to hyper-stimulate your senses if you find it difficult to stay still, loud music, lots of perfumes, lots of lights and visual stimuli and even and not least the very repeated movement of the body, like a mantra. it even has the same effect.

breathing: this part is important! focus your thoughts on your breathing at first, count it with numbers in your head to make it easier. see yourself breathing in and out, feel every cell in your body doing it, in cyclical time. I suggest an equal time of 4 to inhale 4 holding 4 exhaling and 4 holding. but you can and should adapt these times to the needs of your body, (ex: 4,2,4,2), as long as you respect this cycle until it becomes automatic in your body, most likely your first meditations will be just learning breathing and it's ok, it's already a good experience, keep training your body for it.

visualization: After mastering the breathing thing, the next step is to direct your mind to something or somewhere, for that we must train to visualize things and the beginning of this is to learn to clear the mind. As soon as you realize that your body has automated cyclic breathing you should focus on clearing your mind and not thinking about anything. (I know it's very difficult, but that's the challenge, and I guarantee that it's not only possible but it's a great tool if mastered) things that can help in this exercise, in addition to hyperstimulation of the senses and mantras and repeated movements or elation (remember to respect the limits of your body), is to take time to think about everything your mind wants to think about, and let go as possible from these thoughts, as if they came and went in a train car until there was none left. visualizing a blank room or the universe but focusing on abstracting it is a good idea to start as well. this exercise and practice should accompany you throughout your life, even when you master this technique and move on to more complex visualizations, it is ideal to dedicate time a day to clear your mind and be nothing and be everything at the same time.

time: start doing what you can for at least 5 minutes, use the alarm clock. from two to 3 days doing the same time or until you feel comfortable, you will hardly be able to reach the stages of visualization at the beginning or in that time of 5 min which is ok, from the third day increase to 10, because you You will already be more familiar with what you need to do and you will have more time to practice without feeling uncomfortable, I recommend spaces of 2 to 3 days to increase the time by 5 min, or until you feel comfortable. don't get frustrated with your progress, be patient with yourself, try to persist in the exercise for at least 21 days, time for your body to get used to all this. the ideal is that a meditation practice lasts from 30min to 1 hour.

finishing: try to go back calmly, start looking at your feet or touching the ground. It is possible to feel nauseous during the meditations, but it shouldn't be anything stronger than that, if you feel really sick, stop the exercise and try to analyze what might have gone wrong. always remembering to respect the limits of the body and seeking this self-knowledge. it is interesting to do the process on an empty stomach but it is not a rule. It is highly recommended that after such a process you eat a cookie or a piece of meat or grain to facilitate the process of your mind understanding that you have returned to the "real world".

GL <3

[sondepoch]

HC: MC is more flexible than them!

Perfection is certain. Perfection is solid. Perfection is the body of a demon or an angel, where there is no room (or need) for bones to crack and muscles to stretch. You and Solomon, though? You’re human. Not so “perfect” when compared to the other inhabitants of at RAD—but that just makes it all the more interesting when they finally see the way the human body can crack and bend

Word Count: 5.5k

SFW + mild descriptions of cracking body parts

Characters: All brothers + All Undateables + Luke

MASTERLIST

Lucifer

Instant panic mode

Man just learned that it’s possible for humans to break bones, so when he hears you casually crack your knuckles, he instantly assumes that all your fingers are broken

Finds it even more terrifying when you lean your head back and crack your neck 

Honestly, the look of sheer horror on his face would be terrifying if you didn’t find it so funny

Is actually super confused when he realizes that you’re 100% fine but will not lower himself to actually asking you about it. That is not the Lucifer way, and so this man instead decides to secretly binge Satan’s collection of human anatomy instead

But uh, he gets scarily into it

Seriously, you’re starting to get concerned when it’s been nearly two full weeks of Lucifer ignoring you to bury his nose in a book, eyebrows furrowing every goddamn time he finishes one, and still has no clue what that cracking sound is 

It’s only when you casually do it at the dinner table and Asmo cringes, complaining about how weird it is that humans get pockets of gas inside certain joints and they actually have to crack it out, to which all his brothers nod their head and cringe when you do it again, that he understands what it is

Has never been more relieved

He isn’t as disturbed by the sound as he was before, so it’s not as fun to tease him with it - but you can count on the fact that if you ever crack anything in his presence, he will pause whatever he’s doing to study you for a moment and make sure your face isn’t contorted in pain or anything

After all, he needs to be completely certain that you haven’t broken a bone

But someone help this man when he realizes how much more flexible humans are compared to demons

The first time you do a backbend in front of him, he actually flinches

Man can’t help but imagine himself in those poses - and no matter how sexy you look when you’re winking at him and stretching your body like it’s glue, his bones would have to be shattered to bits for him to do the same

Quietly asks you not to stretch yourself into such positions in his presence

On the bright side, you can shut him up in the middle of any lecture by “casually” stretching your arms back until the demon is so disturbed that he stops in the middle of his sentence and asks you to leave as soon as possible

All in all, not a big fan - but he can tolerate your antics (if only to save face)

But if you ever show him videos (or even pictures) of a contortionist, he may actually be scarred for the rest of his almost-eternal life

Mammon

Man really needs to learn how to knock

He barges into your room without warning, as usual, only to see you all but straddling the ground, legs spread wide apart as you lean to one side and touch your right toe

It’s the most basic human stretch there is - but it’s terrifying to Mammon

You don’t even get the chance to say hi to him before he’s lifted you onto your feet, pulling you up from under your arms, desperately asking why you weren’t screaming for help 

Cannot process the fact that you were actually in that position willingly, much less the notion that it felt remotely good

Of course, you respond to his obvious aversion by showing him all the other ways your body can bend, flopping onto your bed and bending your body into a perfect bridge position

Mammon’s screeches when he sees the arch your back makes

It lowkey gives him nightmares the next night

Also becomes very touchy after he sees you move your body around so comfortably

In his eyes, you’re now the equivalent of a giant teddy bear - and really, what are the differences, now? He uses you for cuddles and hugs, can seemingly bend your body in any way and you’ll bounce back, and your skin is so soft compared to the hardness of his own body

Man actually grows used to your body after a while, holding a strange fascination for the way you can move

Begins to think that it’s cool when you show him how you can crack your knuckles and such

Absolutely makes use of the fact that some of his other brothers hate the sound, casually walking up to them with you by his side and asking them (while you crack your knuckles) to forgive his debts

Works 90% of the time

The 10% when it doesn’t work, though, he gets into trouble

In his free time, though, he actually likes lying with you and trying to figure what other body parts you can crack

Courtesy of Mammon, you learn that you can crack your hip if you stretch at a certain angle

(Bonus:) He one day tries to stretch his body the way you stretch yours and does a basic hamstring stretch on the ground, trying to touch his toes, but the exertion is too much for his inflexible body and he sort of locks a joint, so he’s left on the floor for nearly half an hour until you find him in his room and help him out of it

(Bonus bonus:) After his trauma from the above incident, he immediately goes back to assuming that you’re in great pain every time he sees you do a particularly difficult stretch and instantly lifts your body out of the position, no matter how you protest and say that you’re fine

Leviathan

"What a normie”

That’s the only reaction you get when you crack your knuckles in front of him, eager to see what he’ll do after realizing how much it disturbs his other brothers

Needless to say, you’re disappointed by his utter nonchalance

But that’s only because you have no clue what happens to Levi when he runs to his room and closes his door, jumping into his bathtub with a shook expression on his face

“Oh my god!” He squeals. “iT wAs LiKE iN tHe aNImES”

Nah, fr tho

Man has seen more than enough human-world shows which feature characters cracking their knuckles before getting down to work, so he’s pretty familiar with the concept

Like many things in anime, he was only 60% sure that it was real

But you actually did it

And it was in real life

Man is practically fanboying over a perfectly normal phenomenon

While you’re sitting in the living room, thinking that he was utterly unfazed by it :(

But when the two of you have a whole year to spend together under the same roof, it’s honestly inevitable that the truth comes out

“You like it?” You ask, pure confusion settling over your faces. After all, he’s the first of the brothers to not be utterly horrified by your little habit

“N-no!” Levi shouts, hiding his face. “I mean, maybe...just a little...sort of...but not in the normie way!”

Boi is too cute for his own good

Of course, you humor him and proceed to crack every single joint you can think of, sending a wink Levi’s way 

It would be so easy to tease him, wouldn’t it? To mess with him and call him strange, to compare to his brothers and remind him that you’re not an anime character - and that anime is, in fact, based on humans, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that humans could crack their knuckles the way he’s seen online

But, he’s too precious. And too cute. And he’s too adorable, staring at you with that utterly captivated expression, so you can’t help but humor him again, asking if he wants to see some of the other differences between humans and demons

And when you show him how you can bend your body, man is shook all over again

He 100% thought that the absurd stretches (like a split? how preposterous) were merely fabrications of animation - flourishes added in by animators to make the visuals more interesting

But seeing you move like that? And when you show him the other stuff?

Congratulations. Boi is officially convinced that humans are more interesting that anime can ever be.

Satan

One of the few demons who was already familiar with the fact that humans are ridiculously flexible and can crack nearly everything in their body 

He was actually the one to approach you about it

“Stretch for me, human.”

Or well, the same thing but in less blunt words

Actually invites you to have tea with him where he first broaches the subject, confirming that you'll be fully comfortable with everything he wants to study

Lmao man really arranges to have a safe word in case he pushes you too far

Once you’ve agreed to letting him study how the human body can bend and crack, the two of you set a time and meet up in his room (and yes, he does clear his books out of the way to make room for you)

And so the stretching begins

It actually feels quite awkward at first with Satan showing you pictures from human world yoga books and asking you to mimic them, taking notes in a book on everything 

Gets really excited when he realizes that your flexibility is a function of how often you stretch, and once he realizes that you’re able to go a little farther each day, he becomes lowkey obsessed with finding out whether there's a limit or not

Boi may or may not secretly try to stretch in his own room in case demons are just naturally less flexible and need to stretch regularly to become like humans

Also almost breaks his arm attempting that, so he never tries it again

The whole ordeal fits itself into your routine after long enough: after school, you go to Satan’s room and do yoga while he jots down notes on how your body moves, and after everything is done the two of you have tea

Satan never touches you while you’re stretching for fear that he’ll physically push you into something uncomfortable, but when you explain that certain positions are easier to hold if someone helps, he’ll definitely try to be a helping hand

He starts out really tentatively, hesitant that he’ll be too strong and will push you to the floor or something, but he’s pleasantly surprised to find that humans are more resilient than he’d initially thought

After his notebook is filled with notes and he’s suitably convinced that all his questions are sated, he’ll express his gratitude and tell you that you don’t need to continue 

But if you tell him that you’ve been enjoying your time together, man will 100% clear that space in his room permanently, so that you can spend time there together while Satan asks you calming questions about your day and you stretch the tension of the day out of your muscles

Asmodeus

Jelly boi

Nah but fr

Man couldn’t care less about your ability to crack your knuckles and neck - if anything, he finds the habit to be irritating

But boi is jealous when he sees how easily you can bend your body and stretch into positions that even he can’t

Obviously, his mind is in the gutter when he’s thinking about the way your body can bend - but he’s equally furious of the fact that human skin is so much softer than demon skin

Like, yes. Most demons have near-perfect skin because of its taut texture - and yes, that gives them the illusion of perfection

But human skin, blemished as it is, is like a teddy bear next to a rock when compared to demon skin

And obviously Asmo’s skin is softer than everyone else’s (this man is NOT skimping out when it comes to his skincare routine), but it infuriates him that his skin isn’t as soft as yours 

Of course, man bounces back quicker than anyone else (as expected)

He grows content with the texture of his own skin the moment he realizes how easily penetrable human skin is - namely when he’s doing homework with you and he sees your skin get sliced open by paper, of all things (man nearly chokes when he learns that this is a regular occurrence for humans)

But he never quite loses his fixation for the human body

It’s highkey the reason why he likes touching you so much - your skin is softer than some Devildom blankets! If he could fall asleep with your arms wrapped around him every night, he absolutely would

But he won’t genuinely request that of you unless you explicitly offer, so he’ll settle for simply hugging you at every opportunity

Ofc, the moment he grows content with the texture of his skin, he’s jealous of your flexibility all over again, so it’s kind of nuts

You eventually have to sit him down and tell him all the downfalls of being able to bend yourself into awkward positions (ex: getting stuck in said position or causing a cramp) for him to finally be content with his own body once more

The moment he’s back to normal, all the usual flirtatious jokes come back and he’s offering to let you show him the ways your body can bend

You deny instantly

But if he ever takes you to a club and has the opportunity to dance with you, do a body roll

Man will get on his knees if that’s what it takes to have you do it again

And then he’ll whisk you off to his room, stubbornly ignoring his brother’s protests, declaring that he needs to “reeducate” himself in the art of dance, and that you’re going to be his teacher

And hey - give him a private show while you’re at it ;)

Beelzebub

The first time you crack your knuckles in front of him, he’s eating

Man doesn’t really register it, just assumes that he bit something crunchy 

The second time you do it, it’s in his and Belphie’s room - and Belphie is taking a nap

Man gets a little suspicious, because the sound definitely came from your end, but he dismisses it and decides that the sound must have been a hitch in Belphie’s breathing

But the third time, the two of you are alone

And Beel’s protective instincts come rushing to the surface when he realizes that you really are the one making that sound

“Are you dying?”

First question, no matter what. Man has heard of medical conditions that cause bones to become brittle and crumbly, so he needs to know

Then again, he won’t really believe you when you tell him the truth

“You can...crack stuff at will?”

beelisconfuzzled.exe 

You have to show him methodically, portion by portion, which of your body parts you can crack

He isn’t disturbed by the sound (he’s eaten things which sound much worse, he can assure you) but man is intrigued

(”But how?” He’ll inevitably ask, struggling to yank his own knuckles off in an attempt to crack them and get that feeling of satisfaction you kept talking about)

All in all,he has a decent reaction - probably one of the only people who won’t overreact about the information

But then the fateful day comes

And he cracks your back

It happens while he’s giving you a big bear hug, proud of you after you came running to tell him about a good grade you got in Devildom Literature - and he places his palm on your back in just the right area, pressing down as he hugs you

And pop

Man is so mortified, he almost drops you

You, on the other hand, cannot be more pleased with this development

“Again! Again!” You shout, trying to get him to repeat the action - but while Beel loves hugging you, cracking your back is something he’s not willing to risk

“It’s okay when you do it, because you know how much your back can take” is his biggest argument. "But I don't."

And unfortunately, calling him a chicken won’t work when you try to convince him otherwise :(

What will work, however, is convincing Beel that this can be a sort of strength training - because he needs to have full control of his body to do it right

He’ll agree to do it once (mainly because you’ve been begging for so long)

But, obviously, “once” means as many times as you want, from there on out ;)

Belphegor

It’s one of the few times where Belphie isn’t in tune with his brother

And he hates it

He doesn’t understand how Beel isn't disturbed by the sound - every time you crack your knuckles, it sends a shudder straight down Belphie’s spine

And it’s not the ick factor taking place. It’s just that Belphie can’t help that his mind wanders to darker places whenever you do something like that, the sound abruptly reminding him of his time in the Celestial War and all the awful things he heard there

Like others, the sound reminds him of how weak you really are

And so, if you ever crack your knuckles around him, expect him to leave instantly

He’s the one brother who will never learn to tolerate it - not when he can remove himself from the situation so easily

And honestly, it’s kind of amazing how sharp his ears are

Is he taking a nap on your lap? If you think you can subtly crack anything without his eyes shooting open, you’re wrong

Is he preparing dinner with you in the kitchen? Nope, the sound of boiling water will not cover the sound of your body stretching too far, and Belphie will shoot you a glare before swiftly exiting the room

Is he simply doing homework with you in the RAD library? You’d think that the sound of chatter from the table next to you would hide the noise you make when you subtly lean back to crack your back, but Belphie is gathering his things mere seconds later, huffing and muttering under his breath

So yeah

Not a fan

On the other hand, he loves how accommodating your body is in terms of how flexibly you are

It brings him great joy, honestly, to just watch you flop your arms around aimlessly because humans’ movements are so fluid, so smooth, so unhindered by the rigid joints of demons

And, obviously, your flexibility makes for better naps

He likes to sleep next to you with his arms wrapped around your waist while you latch onto him in whatever position you deem comfortable

Without a doubt, the position you find is something that would be wholly impossible for a demon (how are you bending your legs that much?!) and it sometimes scares him to realize the full extents of your flexibility (can all humans twist their arms like that, or is it just you?) but he loves that you use your body’s oddities to pull him closer

And he’ll never deny you a comfortable nap if you’re willing to cuddle so readily

Never

Unless you crack your knuckles, that is

Solomon

Life is war and cracking body parts is your only weapon

Aka nonstop competitions between you and our resident wizard boy, both of you cracking body parts back and forth until one of you either fails or runs out of things to crack

Knuckles? Come on, are you even trying? Give him something less basic

Back? Oh yeah. Both sides, too - and the loud ones

Hips? You didn’t think it was possible, but Solomon will look you in the eye and hit one side of his hip, the movement a prelude to an instant CRACK which rings out oh-so-gloriously from the other end

Ribs? You realized you could crack them once and never stopped - you’re actually the one to teach Solomon how to do this

Neck? Always the finisher. So loud, and so satisfying

Neither the House of Lamentation nor Purgatory Hall ever wants to have the two of you over at the same time, because the residents know that you and Solomon will have these competitions. And they absolutely hate it.

So what do you do?

Go to the library and disturb the demons there, of course

It actually becomes a pretty sick form of payback to all the annoying demons that look down on the two of you for being humans, because they always cringe so hard when you guys do this

The two of you have deduced that the sound of knuckles cracking is the demon equivalent to the sound of nails on a chalkboard

And you fucking run wild with it

No one wants to piss either of you off, because you’ll both glare at the demon in question and proceed to crack every body part known to mankind (like seriously - it’s reached the point where you guys can crack your TOES, and if that isn’t absolutely amazing, then you don’t know what is)

It actually highkey annoys the demons in your classes, because you guys always crack everything right before an exam and while it helps you focus better, it effectively ruins their concentration

Ofc you guys don’t really care so they can suck it

But uh

Okay so the demons at RAD may or may not get fed up of you both one day and petition for Diavolo to instate a “No cracking body parts” rule in school

So yeah your primary source of entertainment sort of disappears after that point

But no worries, you and Solomon head to the downtown shopping districts instead and become the BEST hagglers in town

“Hey, can we get these shirts on a discount? Huh? You don’t do discounts? 

*Aggressively cracks everything until the demon just wants them out of the store*

“How about now BICH?”

Simeon

You’re actually not the one to introduce Simeon to the idea of humans being able to crack their body parts at will

No, it’s Solomon who steals that pleasure from you

But will Simeon ever let the sorcerer know just how much it unnerves him? Absolutely not. So what does our beloved angel do?

Why, there’s only one option

Come running straight to you.

Man is disturbed. Honestly, disturbed is phrasing it lightly. If he were in his angel form, you’d be able to see how his feathers ruffle and flutter at the very thought of that sound

Needless to say, he hates it

(You 100% consider cracking your knuckles in front of him, just to tease him, but you decide against it)

See, Simeon is an angel. And that means 99% of the time, he’s surrounded by other holy spirits, all of which have bodies molded to perfection that simply cannot crack the way yours can. Whereas demons are forced into human interaction a little more (oft when they're summoned), Simeon really isn’t used your fragility, no matter how much he tries to remind himself of it

So yeah

He hates it

On the other hand - man loves how flexible humans are

The first time you flop down onto your bed, assuming a position that would be impossible for any demon or angel to take but is deemed “comfortable” by you, Simeon is enraptured

It’s not sexual, he just thinks it’s really amazing that you have so much control over your body when he can hardly do a standing glute stretch without breaking a limb

It’s almost funny, his fixation

Actually no - it’s not almost funny. It is wholly and completely hilarious, and you will not stop leading him further down this rabbit hole

When you send this man picture of an contortionist, he’s utterly mesmerized

Show him human ballet, and he will not stop watching it

So yeah

He appreciates parts of the human body, hates others - but as long as you never crack your muscles in front of him, he’s down

Also - after you’ve thoroughly interested him in the art of being a human, he may just write about it in his next book. If you read the next set of chronicles detailed by Christopher Peugeot, you already know who the “feisty but good-hearted human who can bend themselves into a pretzel” is based on

(Bonus: Do a body roll in front of him and he might faint - man knew the human body could but like that? You might just have corrupted an angel)

Luke

“So...cool...!”

Boi loves it

He cheers you on like a champ, laughing merrily as you crack your knuckles into oblivion, scaring away the other residents in Purgatory Hall

And no matter how many times Simeon warns him not to urge you on (”The human already has no sense of self-preservation, and you don’t need to help that along,” he said), Luke can’t help but watch with excited eyes as you show him how different the human body is

He’s almost like Levi with his ardent admiration, and he honestly finds nothing disturbing about the sound of you cracking knuckles

Just finds it cool

It actually serves as a catalyst for his relationship with Solomon, because Luke will 100% go up to him and ask him whether he can crack his body like you, and obviously, the man will laugh and prove that centuries of knowledge have made him better than the average human - even in this area

But yeah

You can really see his inner child come out

(Though don’t say that last part out loud - he’ll ignore you for three days in an attempt to be “mature” before you convince him to accept your apology)

But really - he may be the only person who can not only tolerate the quirks of your body, but openly endorses all of them

On the downside, though, he’ll also try to crack his knuckles...which won’t bode too well, given that his body was built to perfection by God

Boi almost rips his finger off

Simeon proceeds to instate a no-cracking-knuckles rule within Purgatory Hall to discourage any further attempts from Luke

But you know what he didn’t ban?

Backflips.

It doesn’t matter if you can or you can’t do them - Luke will happen to see a video of a human doing one (ahem, Solomon showed him it in an attempt to stir up trouble), and now he’s begging you to do the same thing in real life

Which doesn’t work out too well, given that backflips are hard

And you may not be successful 100% of the time

And obviously, Simeon eventually finds out that the two of you have moved onto a new fixation, and so he instate the no-backflips-in-Purgatory-Hall rule

But you know what he didn’t ban? 

Cartwheels.

And so it continues on and on, indefinitely because the only way to cease your and Luke’s shenanigans would be to ban humans in Purgatory Hall, and Solomon is thankfully preventing him from doing that

Barbatos

Hates it, hates it, hates it

More than any of the brothers, more than any of the angels - this man loathes every oddity of the human body that makes it different from a demon’s

But not for the reasons you’d expect

See, it’s not the sound that bothers Barbatos

No, he’s heard the screams of the damned before. You cracking a few measly knuckles hardly makes him flinch as he pours your tea

But what Barbatos does hate is the fact that he doesn’t know what it means

Every single time you crack a knuckle in his presence, it doesn’t matter if the prince himself is speaking, because Barbatos’s eyes will fly straight to you

And yes - you guessed it:

Barbatos can’t tell the difference between the sound of you cracking your knuckles and the sound of you breaking a bone.

And for that reason, he hates it

It’s hardly his fault - he doesn’t even know if there is a difference between the two sounds. But this butler has no faith in you and no faith in humanity as a whole, so every time you crack your knuckles, it sends a rush of worry straight to his stomach, and the demon has to watch you for a solid ten seconds to make sure that you haven’t actually hurt yourself

Poor man

He’s the kind of guy to take everything in stride, so he'll probably never tell you how much he hates it when you crack your knuckles (and honestly, what would he say? “Hi, can you please stop cracking your knuckles because I care about you and it makes me concerned for your health???” No, that’s not going to work. And he doesn't know what will work, so he suffers in silence)

Seeing you stretch is even worse

It can be a casual stretch, simply pulling your arms above your head just slightly beyond what would be physically possible for a normal demon, but it sends a chill to Barbatos’s heart, and he’s worried all over again

See, when you crack your knuckles, at least it’s over. But when you stretch? Sometimes you hold your position for a minute, if not more - and Barbatos simply can’t turn away because he’s terrified that he will, and you’ll somehow hurt yourself

So yeah

No rest for this butler, not as long as you’re going around with that weak body of yours and are cracking and stretching your way into oblivion

On the bright side, it means that he’s almost always watching over you when you visit, an added layer of protection 

The only difference is that while the others are focused on protecting you from other demons, Barbatos is preoccupied with making sure you don’t hurt yourself

Diavolo

Timing is everything

And indeed, you just happen to be in the midst of cracking your knuckles and neck the moment you’re transported to the Devildom, every single one of the most powerful demons in the land staring at you in horror as your body pops some more

"Oh no,” Diavolo whispers, frowning as he looks at Barbatos. “We got a defective human :(”

Nevermind the insult you feel at his words (who does this strange, unfairly-attractive redhead think he is, calling you “defective???” He might be correct in his judgement, but he had no right to voice his thoughts!), you are shook

Definitely not the best first impression for either of you to make

Of course, Lucifer is quick to pick things up with his explanation of what this place is and who he is, and the whole situation is mostly forgotten as you come to realize that you’re standing in front of a literal prince

But the past has a way of resurfacing

And obviously, several months later, you crack your knuckles once more in the presence of the demon lord

The immediate wince on his face is more than enough for you to read his mind

“You’re thinking I’m defective again, aren’t you?”

“YOU REMEMBER THAT?!”

Poor bby

He’s honestly such a brilliant ruler, but when it comes to maneuvering the minds of humans, it’s just not his strong suit

Anyway, the two of you have a long talk (aka you rant and Diavolo listens) where you explain to him that cracking knuckles is a normal phenomenon, and that - look, you can even crack other parts of your body

And the prince is fascinated

He knew humans were built differently than demons, but he’d simply assumed that your body was just as perfect as his, and that yours could simply handle less extreme conditions

Clearly, though, that wasn’t the case

Man decides that, as the ruler of hell and the man spearheading efforts to unite the three realms, it is his moral obligation to learn about the other ways humans differ from demons

And so the shenanigans begin

It’s honestly time-consuming, but Lucifer doesn’t mind because if you’re with Diavolo, you’re out of trouble, and Barbatos doesn’t mind because if Diavolo’s with you, then he’s out of trouble

All in all, it becomes the prelude to a LOT of time spent together, and a LOT of differences between demons and humans come to light. 

Aka various iterations of “What do you mean, humans can’t bite through steel?”

[digitalsatyr23]

Dealing with Schizophrenia

Saw a post earlier about schizophrenia and it really got me thinking about my own issues. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety disorder ages ago and I really had to learn how to pace myself to survive. Despite the various issues I had to deal with on a day to day basis, the world never slowed down for me (why would it, after all). I remember back when I was a floral clerk at a Fred Meyer I would sometimes hide in our cold storage for our flowers just so I could take a breather. Having to manage the day to day of a busy retail job while a bunch of voices in your head are prattling on, arguing with each other, and telling you to do all sorts of terrible things is... Difficult, to say the least. When I’m not too stressed out I only deal with negative symptoms, but when I’m in stressful situations my positive symptoms can resurface. I’m glad the only hallucinations I had at that job were auditory because if I had any of the visual ones I had in the past that would have been it. Instead of trying to focus on the task at hand I’d be running full speed from the flesh monsters. (I wish I was exaggerating but I’m really not.)

For those who are just learning about their condition or have been struggling with it for years like I have, my heart goes out to you. You’re far stronger than the world gives you credit for.

Also, here are some tips for those who might need it:

Stress can and will exacerbate your symptoms, so be careful not to overburden yourself with too many responsibilities and obligations. You shouldn’t avoid these things entirely, but try and learn your limits so you can better manage your stress levels and lead a calmer and more controlled life.

Bouncing off the first tip, it’s impossible to avoid stressful situations all the time, but you can take steps to make things easier on you. When you need to go on a long commute, consider bringing comfort food/drink with you. Overeating can be a bad habit too, but there’s nothing wrong with having a little treat for yourself every once and a while.

Do you have a personal belonging that brings you great comfort, helps you focus, and/or helps you block out negative thoughts? Keep it with you! For me, I never leave home without my mp3 player because music helps me cope with stress and helps me focus on things.

Do what you can to keep up with your basic needs. Drink plenty of water, get plenty of sleep, keep yourself fed, and practice good hygiene. It can be tough to feel the necessary motivation sometimes, but I guarantee you that you’ll feel x10 better if you’re hydrated, fed, well-rested, and clean.

Finally, try not to make too many excuses for yourself. I know that may feel contradictory alongside me saying schizophrenia can be a struggle, but I feel it’s important to avoid throwing your hands up when things start to get too difficult. We need to take care of ourselves and know our limits, but we also don’t want to let those limits increase, you know? You can’t let your symptoms beat you. You’re stronger than that. Be patient with yourself, take a breather when things get stressful, and when you’re ready, keep on keeping on.

Also I do recognize that my tips aren’t going to work for everyone. I’m just sharing these because they’re things that helped me manage my symptoms. Part of the struggle is figuring out what works for you. I wish whoever is reading this the best of luck. Stay strong, everyone!