#I need to get so much stress out of my system as well
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https://x.com/venusyearwood/status/1854732444768858540?s=46&t=NrxIrEbb07Ubj-rzdh7oCg THIS WITH JAY â im thinking softdom!jay, lots and lots of flirting and being handsy and making out, reader is on jayâs lap heâs buried in her neck leaving marks and sheâs starting to unbutton his shirt and unconsciously grinding her hips, he canât take it anymore and drags her home and breeds her all night
oh youâre speaking my languageâŠI pictured a cocktail bar for this
***
Itâs not that anyone is really paying attention to either of you in this place anyway. Jayâs got a hold on your thigh while the rest of your friends chatter amongst themselves with enough alcohol in their systems to forget their surroundings and anything but the conversation at hand.
Itâs the first time in a long time that heâs got you like thisâaway from the stress of life and the hustle of working hours. He knows far too well what it means to be preoccupied with things that donât matter and seeing you in a little black dress and those high heels you love wearing so much makes him hold onto you that much tighter.
Heâs got his thumb rubbing against the skin of your thigh the entire night but it does nothing to quell the building arousal you feel as you pulsate beside him. You donât even know if Jay is doing it on purpose but it garners a reaction out of you, and you find that youâre barely able to hold onto the cocktail glass as you listen to your friends talk and chime in every once in a while. Jayâs touch is enough to get you to a sensation that feels an awful lot like being drunk even if you arenât.
âHaving fun?â Jay whispers in your ear. You love when he leans his head down to whisper in your ear. It makes you feel like youâre the only person he sees.
âYeah. I really missed going to places like these.â
âYou look beautiful too, baby.â Jay squeezes your thigh and hums. âThat dressâŠyou look phenomenal.â
The heat from his compliment and alcohol makes your cheeks flush. You stutter when you respond to him. âThank you.â He laughs under his breath and squeezes your thigh, hand lodged between them as if to keep you sitting right next to him. Not that youâd want to be anywhere else anyway. You squeeze him with your thigh subconsciously when his warm breath ghosts the shell of your ear.
Jay seems to like that. He squeezes you back. âAre you doing okay, baby?â
You nod. âMhm. Just fine.â
âReally? You seem a little tense.â
âN-No. Not tense. Iâm fine.â
He squeezes your thigh again. âNeedy little thing.â Jay pushes his hand up your legs until you spread them far enough to seem inconspicuous. The tips of his fingers touch you where you need him the most and he bites back a moan when he feels just how wet you are. âKnew it.â
âJay! Our friends are right in front of us.â
He doesnât stop sliding his fingers against your covered folds. âAnd? Theyâre too busy paying attention to each other.â You clamp your legs shut and Jay nods, scouring the room until he finds a secluded, dark area with a partition that separates from the main room.
Jay stands up and holds his hand out for you. His muscular arm is concealed by the button down he wears and yet his muscles almost stretch the fabric until itâs taught. Your own arms cling onto his as you follow him through the maze of people and when you look back to your friends, they havenât noticed you two have gone missing.
The partition hides away a single drink tray on top of a metal table opposite of a wooden bench. Itâs secluded enough for your satisfaction and Jay turns around once the two of you are out of sight and cups your jaw with his hands when he kisses you like youâre a delicate glass he doesnât want to break. His lips are so soft and plump and the way heâs rubbing your cheeks with his thumb makes you feel something akin to being on cloud nine. It doesnât help that he looks like the pinnacle of sex once he pulls away, eyes looking down at you through his long lashes as he paces himself.
He sits down on the bench and beckons you over his lap. You donât particular care that your dress has ridden up your body and pools midway up your ass. His large hands come to grip you from behind as you make yourself comfortable on him.
âPretty baby,â he whispers in your ear as he peppers kisses down the column of your neck. The sensation makes your toes curl and you clutch at his chest for support. âI missed you this week. Felt like an eternity.â
âI-I missed you too.â You breathe it out much like a quiet moan. âMissed your lips.â
âYeah?â Jay licks up your juncture before sucking on your jawline where it meets your earlobe. âWhat else did you miss?â
Your hands spread all across his chest and the hard muscle underneath makes you much wetter than you already are. The gentle touch of your fingers against his buttons makes him look up at you from where he is on your neck. Heâs already got a few buttons undone but youâre craving to see more of him and unbutton another.
âMissed your bodyâŠâ
Jay spreads his legs wider when he starts to feel your hips rolling against his slacks. You move so slowly that he doesnât think you register what youâre doing, but the way your fingers spread open his button down makes him think you want more than heâs offering right now.
âOh yeah? What part of my body.â
âMouth, fingers, cockâŠâ
You donât look at him when you say it. You stare at his semi-exposed chest and continue to grind up against him. Heâs so hard in his pants that he involuntarily pushes his hips up against you.
âI can tell.â Jay brings his hand to brush your bottom lip with his thumb and cradles your cheek when you finally look at him. âYouâre so cute when you get needy.â
You push your covered lap down on his. âI canât help it. You look so good tonight and Iâm having a hard time keeping my hands to myself.â
âYouâre one to talk, baby.â
In an abrupt motion, Jay hoists you off of his body and pulls the hem of your dress down to appear decent and does his best to adjust his aching dick to look presentable. You whine beside him but Jay merely grips your ass as he silences to with a kiss.
âBe good for me, yeah?â
âBut I need you.â
âI need you too, baby. Let me take you home. Iâll come inside you as many times as you want.â
#enhypen smut#jay smut#jongseong smut#enha smut#enhypen x reader#jay x reader#jongseong x reader#enhypen hard thoughts#enha hard hours#enhypen hard hours#enhypen imagines#jay#hard thought*#my writing*
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A sparkle in the night
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Pair: Alastor and Vox. A bit platonic, a bit romantic, could be read in different ways.
Disclaimer: Nothing other than itâs a SFW tickle fic. They are also slightly ooc but tbh we donât really know since Iâm describing a moment that happened before the series takes place sooooo⊠who knows (but honestly, Alastor is much too sweet to be canon).
Also I had fun with some fonts I found online, I donât know if that is a problem so if you find difficulties reading please tell me and Iâll change it!
Vox is stressed and wants to reminisce old times, old friends, old feelings.
I got the idea for this from this fic by @starlight-write. I wanted to explore Alastor and Voxâs relationship before whatever happened between them.
I hope you all enjoy it!
~~~
Hell had changed a lot since Vox first arrived. He had met many Overlords who now werenât âaliveâ anymore, killed by Angels or by other sinners. He had seen Hell change its geography, different shops rising and then succumbing to nefarious fate.
He had met friends along the way, and he had lost them too.
Vox had learnt that the afterlife was just as complicated and confusing as his past life: people were hard to read, it was hard to understand their needs and, honesty, he wasnât very good at accommodating them. Of course it was easy to solve people problems work wise (most of the times he was the one creating a fake problem and giving the public a new product as a solution), but when it came to personal business he couldnât just hypnotise everyone. Well he could butâŠ
He was alone in his personal room, monitors all over him, phones and computers all around him. Even if he was alone he was constantly under the spotlight. He knew he had to prove he was stronger. That he wasnât scared of anything or anyone.
Thatâs how he would spend the majority of his afterlife: surrounded by his constant eyes, recording every movement he himself ever made.
So thatâs why he felt so excited when he turned off every single monitor except for the bigger one in front of him. He shut down every camera or microphone around him. Unrecorded. Unregistered moments.
A shiver ran down his spine.
After seeing that ghost of his past back again after seven years of absence he had to see something. Something that was his and his only.
What he was looking for was an old memory, one that he had to update digitally from his old headset.
Everything was meticulously categorised so it didnât take long before he found what he was looking for.
The video started.
And he was almost 45 years younger, he had a different - and much heavier - headset and an âold palâ next to him.
They were in the middle of an animated conversation in a remote bar in the pride ring. Everybody was keeping their distance from them and the moody bartender kept sending them drink after drink.
«Television is much more than photography you radio obsessed demon. Television is alive, itâs thrilling!» Vox exclaimed standing up and stomping his foot on the chair in front of him. Alastor looked at the action with little to no reaction, his usual smile plastered on his face.
«You, young man, are as loud as a cow at the slaughterhouse. That is in no way an Overlord behaviour.» he said squeezing his shoulder and inviting Vox to sit again.
Vox blinked in confusion - and slight worry because of the metaphor - before pouting as a scolded child. He got himself back on the high stools next to the counter dangling his feet.
Alastor poured another whiskey in his glass.
«I admire your enthusiasm, but you have to understand that Hell is different from Earth. You cannot show demons your⊠moving pictures and expect them to simply follow you. You need to plan. To be strategic. Logical.» he offered the drink to Vox, who looked at the goldish liquid with skepticism.
Alastorâs smile grew bigger. «A peace offer?». Vox sighed and gulped it down in one shot, much to Alastorâs disapproval.
«I think youâre complicating your life too much! I can hypnotise people!» he pointed at his eyes as the pupil changed, but Alastor was unfazed.
«It doesnât work on me.»
«Yeah I still have to understand whyâŠÂ» he sighed as his head started to spin. His face became a bit foggy, just for a moment.
That made Alastor grin wider. «Is the strong and powerful aspiring Overlord feeling a bit dizzy?»
«Fuck you I am not. Youâre just-» he looked down at his empty glass and grabbed the bottle to refill it. «I am an Overlord! âM not aspiring to be anything you pompous-» but he was cut off by Alastor cupping Voxâs hands with his and helping him pour the drink. Voxâs heart skipped a beat as his antennas sparkled.
«You were saying?» he hummed, fully aware of what he was doing.
«Fuck you.»
Alastorâs smiled softened «Charming.» and Vox smiled back, rolling his eyes.
They had these kind of conversations every time they hang out. They would go to a bar and sit far away from everyone, start bickering, try to get a deal one from the other only to call it even and repeat this cycle every few days. Vox kept convincing himself that these encounters werenât a big deal but things like that, like that genuine smile, made him doubt that.
Vox drank his whiskey quickly, just to see Alastorâs ear flicker in dismay, a gesture Vox had learnt to recognise over the years.
He took the bottle and refilled his and Alastorâs empty glass.
«You do not understand what it means to be an Overlord just as much as you do not understand how to enjoy your drink.» Alastor said turning on his stool and leaning with his back on the counter.
«AH! Alcohol gets you drunk. Thatâs the big meaning behind it.»
Vox was about to chug down his whiskey when he felt something brushing over his side. As he yelped Alastor snickered, trying to camouflage it with a cough.
«AĂl- he glitched - what are you doing?»
«As you can see I am not doing anything.» he said raising his hands to prove his point. Vox straightened his back, looking at his surroundings in confusion.
His fogged brain was trying to process whether there was a threat or not. He felt electricity build up in his body.
As he raised his glass, he felt it again, something brushing his side, just lightly, but, when he turned, his eyes could only scan thin air.
«What is going on?» he mumbled putting the drink down.
Alastor didnât answer, but he was having fun. Vox could see it by that stupid tail of his that was slightly wagging.
If it was his doing⊠oh no.
The tendrils came out of nowhere and wrapped around his torso, caressing his stomach and sides slowly.
Vox felt electricity between his fingers and in his antennas. He clamped his mouth shut with his hands, slightly kicking his feet.
«Is everything alright Vox?» Vox shook his head, little sparkles all around him. That fuckerâŠ
One of those tentacles circled around the center of his tummy, caressing the blue skin. He could feel the tip lightly scratching the sensitive area, making his body tremble.
It was so agonisingly slow. The gesture felt both sweet and mean, as if it were Alastorâs fingers toying with him.
Then he increased the pace.
Voxâs face started trembling, the image of his expression danced on the screen for a moment, deforming his flat features. Alastor came closer to his prey, enjoying every second.
«Maybe it would be better if you just let yourselfâŠ-» the tentacles that were around his stomach changed direction and dug in his hips «âŠLaugh.»
Vox giggles sparkled, as static electricity vibrated around him. He tried so hard to contain himself, but once the first chuckle was out he could not stop.
«AHAHAHAHL nohohoho.»
«No? But Iâm not doing anything my dear! I think you had one too many of these.» he said sliding away the manâs drink, saving it from being destroyed.
«Yohohou knohow dĂŠ-ĂĄmĆĆ well what youâre dohohoing.» Vox managed to say while trying to push his tentacles away.
«Of course I do.» he got closer, more tentacles coming from all around him. Vox felt his heart pounding in his chest, his face a mixture of fear and excitement. A stupid wobbly smile was plastered on his screen.
«And youâre enjoying every single second.» had Vox been a little less drunk he would have probably tried to retort, but all he could do was stare at Alastorâs tendrils.
Two of them wrapped around his wrists, raising his hands.
«Oh noho donât yÒÌÌÌÌÌÍÍÌŻOÌžÌÌœÍÌÍÍUÒÌÌÌÌŸÍÍÌŠÌ°Ì DARE ALASTOR!» the tentacles danced in front of him, circling around his underarms. Two of them were near his sides, and no matter how hard he tried to pull at his restraints he couldnât free himself.
«Oh how I like seeing you like this.» Alastor sighed «So helpless.»
«Ahahahahahl Ihihi ha-hatehehe yohohor stupid gahames.» he protested. He was still sat on his absurdly high stool, his feet trying to touch the floor to push himself back. But there was nowhere to run.
Every demon in the place had already fled, believing that the Radio Demon had found his new victim. Well they werenât completely wrong.
«Do not lie to me.» Alastor caressed Voxâs screen with a single finger, and fake sweat flashed on his face. «You love my games. And besides, a powerful Overlord like you should laugh at the face of danger.» that actually made Vox titter.
Anything said by Alastor made him laugh.
«Let me see your smile.»
All of the tentacles attacked at the same time, some caressing his skin, some scratching at the fabric of his clothes. They were under his arms, on his stomach, meaningly attacking his hips.
The laugh that left his throat gave Alastor goosebumps. It was loud, the loudest he had ever heard from him and it was so⊠carefree.
All the sense of control, the pressure of becoming a powerful Overlord, the high standards the man held on himself all crumbled down. And he was just helplessly laughing in front of his friend, eyes closed, not afraid to be hurt.
Unfortunately for him he was definitely too sensitive though and the moment a tendril flicked his antenna he started to glitch.
«NOHOHOHOHĆÄŠĂ-»
A spark of electricity made the entire place blackout for a moment, before the lights came back on. Alastor looked at the display of power both amazed and awed.
The man was really strong.
«Be careful my friend-» Alastorâs voice came from much closer than before «We wouldnât want you to short circuit would we?»
He decided to give him a little break.
The moment the tendrils freed him, Vox turned his back and held the counter with both of his hands, looking for stability.
He could not stop the giggles and titters leaving his body, feeling even drunken than before even though the alcohol was starting to wear off.
However, before Vox could stop laughing, a single tentacle snuck under the his shirt, through his sleeve, slowly and gently caressing his underarm with its tip. The small movement was driving Vox mad.
He collapsed on the counter, laughter now pouring out of him. His feet were kicking the air. The free arm was pounding on the surface, not lucid enough to try to free himself.
He let his head rest on the table, the screen tilted toward Alastor.
«Yohohouh bihihihitch.» he giggled before trying to pry away a new tendril that was slipping under his shirt, targeting his stomach.
His feet kicked harder and quicker as he started to hiccup. «Ihi- IHğĊğ- chahaĂŠnïżœïżœÈ.» his voice changed and distorted.
Alastor drank another glass, closing his eyes and enjoying the flavour.
«Sooo» he stood up next to the giggling mess. «Do we wanna make a deal?» he asked making his tentacles stop their torture and back away.
Vox took a few seconds to compose himself before lifting his head and facing the other demon.
Giggles were still stuck in his throat, threatening to leave his body at every word. «A deahal?» he straightened his back and fixed his shirt, now turning his entire body towards the friend.
«Iâm not selling my soul for some TÌ”ÍÌÍÌÍÌČÌ«-tickles. You canât be that stupid.»
«I am not, my friend. And for once I do not care for your soul! Oh no no no! I would likeâŠ-» he let the anticipation roll on Voxïżœïżœïżœs nerves as he approached him with twitching fingers. «-for you to never drink whiskey in such an inconsiderate way. You either taste your liquor or you donât drink at all. You do not gobble your alcohol. You understand that young man donât you?» and as he pronounced the last sentence, he started tracing invisible circles on Voxâs sides.
Vox closed his eyes and the giggle that escaped his lips was a mixture of ticklish agony and amusement.
«Are you finding my request funny?» his fingers danced on his sides.
«Oh câmohohn Ahahal.» he kicked his feet again, very careful not to hit the demon in front of him. «Ihiht is fuhuhucking hilariohohohus.» he managed to say.
Alastor was not amused.
«Well if you think this is hilarious I cannot imagine what youâd think of tÌ·ÌÍÌÌ„ÌČÍÍÌ€hÌ”ÍÌÌłÌȘÌ°iÌ”ÌÌÌÌÌÌŠÌ°s̶Ì
ÌÍÍÍÍÌ„.» as his voice distorted he drilled his thumbs in Voxâs hips, scratching slightly under his clothes.
Voxâs face became black for a few seconds, before returning to his loud self, pounding with his free hands on Alastorâs chest.
«Such a sweet sound.»
«DÌ·ÌÌÌÌÍÌŁÌÌÌȘeÒÍÌÌÌ«Í
hÌŽÌÌÌÍÍÌ€ÌÌȘaÒÌÌżÌ€Ì©ÍhÌŽÌÌÌÍÍÌ€ÌÌȘaÒÌÌżÌ€Ì©ÍhÌŽÌÌÌÍÍÌ€ÌÌȘaÒÌÌżÌ€Ì©ÍlÌžÌÍÌÌłÍÍÍÌ d̶ÌÌÌÌżÌÌŁÌŁÍÍÍeÌ·ÍÌÍÌaÒÍÌÌÌ«ÍlÌ”ÌÌÍÍÍ d̶ÌÌÌÌżÌÌŁÌŁÍÍÍeÌ·ÍÌÍÌeÒÍÌÌÌ«Í
hÌŽÌÌÌÍÍÌ€ÌÌȘeÒÍÌÌÌ«Í
hÌŽÌÌÌÍÍÌ€ÌÌȘaÒÍÌÌÌ«ÍlÌ”ÌÌÍÍÍ.» his glitched and distorted voice came so soft to Alastoâs ear.
Alastor stopped with a chuckle.
«You enjoyed it.» he said before stepping away.
«Oh well donât think I didnât notice your tail wagging.» the tv demon whispered with a smile on his face.
Alastor turned himself, hiding his back and his stupid soft tail, a small blush colouring his cheeks.
Vox laughed again, a genuine laugh, and then grabbed his own glass. The older man way eyeing him, fingers ready to summon his power once more.
Vox drank slowly, feeling the warmth of the alcohol. He closed his eyes, enjoying the taste.
Alastor smiled at him, the genuine smile reserved to these late night, where the alcohol in their veins made their heads lighter and their words easier to leave their lips.
The words Alastor pronounced forty-five years ago echoed in the empty room. They sounded sincere, no filter altering them, just honesty and liquor on his tongue.
«Youâre like a sparkle in the night Vox. You make this dark world brighter with your smile. Remember that»
Vox closed his eyes and let out a sight. He hugged himself for a moment and let those words sink in, burning his soul.
He allowed himself to feel this way for a few seconds, before turning everything off and straightening his jacket.
He had to go now.
He needed to find out what that pompous old prick was planning.
~~~
I feel like Iâve been working on this fics for a month, but itâs actually been a couple of weeks.
I loved exploring Vox and Alastorâs dynamic and showing Alastor being kind of a mentor for Vox.
Initially Valentino had a part in this fic, but in the end his role got cut off, but who knows! I might explore their relationship and how it affected Vox and Alastor in future fics! In this universe (yeah, the one I created pretty much for this single tickle fic) Al and Vox originally had a strong relationship, something between platonic and romantic, that got ruined when Vox met Valentino and started hanging out with him (Even though I strongly believe that in the serie Vox was the one that fell in love and Alastor was just trying to get something out of him and eventually got tired of Vox and left him)
The first scene felt really like when Hamilton and Burr go drink together at the beginning of the musical ahahahaha.
I donât know when will I publish the new fic, it will take me a long time before I am able to write so much again.
Let me know what you think guys đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ»đ«¶đ»
#tickle fic#hazbin hotel tickle#lee!vox#ticklish!vox#ler!alastor#i hope itâs well written Iâm stressing so much#i started writing with no idea for a plot#but i can totally see Alastor getting mad for not drinking in tge âright wayâ#and Vox being an impatient little shit about it#idk I love them so much#and really I need to get lee!vox out of my system
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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i really do love practicing đ»
#i'm in music school so now it's a much more significant source of my already very significant fears#but practicing only feels stressful when i don't do it enough and i'm trying to 'catch up'#some weeks fly past me like hurricanes and i get to my lesson and i can't say i've made any progress and that fucks me up#and i don't think that's ever going away- like i'll always have weeks like that cuz everyone has bad days and bad weeks#from time to time#but when i plan correctly (which is becoming more and more the norm for me) my practicing is something im really proud of :)#i have a System. i didn't do very well before i had it and i would die without it now.#i get excited about learning! i get excited having realizations abt things to change or work on when i practice!#it feels experimenty a lot of the time and i like it!!!#i have a lot of catching up to do in terms of comparing myself to others but i'm not here for them i'm here for me#i will do my best and i will learn from others of course but my goals are to make my Me better first and worry abt other people later#i won't lose sight of that#<- and when it doesn't feel experimenty it can be calming to just be like okay ik what i need to do now just. Practice. Repeat.#i mean music is a fucking rollercoaster and sometimes you are at the bottom and i hate that but it comes w the territory#sometimes you're just Stuck but you do get past it and in those moments i just try to think back to previous times ive felt like that#ive felt horribly shitty before and gotten through it and come out the other side slightly better!#life is like that i think#anyways. hashtag iris loves music and being a musician đ nothing new over here hehe
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my sister has taken to calling really fucking normal ass opinions "radically liberal" and i am so so so tired. so unbelievably tired. i thought university was supposed to turn u into a leftist, not just give you more language to shit on leftist politics. what the fuck.
#like. ''police hurt people sometimes'' or ''addicts are people too'' or ''homeless people should be given shelter somewhere''#i think those are fairly normal baseline opinions to have. and yet!!!#idk man i think i am going to do something very bad to myself soon. im so fucking tired. i cannot keep this up for much longer#literally i am getting physically ill these past two weeks. like i took a covid test today bc i thought maybe i somehow caught covid again#but no its just. stress. and everything. im having dizzy spells where i cant hold myself upright and almost pass out ???#i am nauseous and shaky 90% of the day??? its not hunger related either (although the nausea gets worse after eating lmfao)#like i just. i cant do this. unfortunately im the fastest crocheter in the system so nobody else can take over#which puts me in uhhhh. well. a lot of danger if im honest. i dont do well w this month ever.#usually have lots of huge memory gaps and occasional blackouts. so im not feeling well from having to be front constantly this year#i just. idk. idk! theres nothing to be done for any of it and i just have to hope I survive it i fucking guess#really being pushed past my limits though. i can count on one hand the amount of times stress has made me physically sick.#this is scary honestly. call me scooby the way i cant fucking doo this anymore!!!!!!#suicide mention#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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the struggles of today proved to me that i might indeed be a little mentally unwell
#not enough to go to therapy but at least now i know what i should work on#correct me if i'm wrong but most people probably don't start to feel suicidal if there's like. a problem at work#i've been asked to support the back office and help with managing cases which is okay i guess. but i'm not a support team person so#i don't know how to do a lot of things despite using the learning resources provided by the workplace#and this one case i'm handling was rather easy on the surface. no info in sys so parcel can't move forward. ask origin to release data. eas#but then origin says that they can't because they get an error message when putting in receiver's acc number. ruh roh#if origin can't release data no one can. i've asked them to handle it with IT but had no response. in the meantime the other involved CS#started getting involved and now a production in a factory is stopped. and i know it's not my fault but i could've done better#acted faster. thought smarter. and i hate this kind of responsibility. and that i care too much#i've cried so much today i'm so tired. from the stress of this task i've been given and because of the IT issues popping in all the time no#i logged into work 45 minutes late because the VPN i've been using shit itself and i had to get a backup one#i should've gotten it installed ages ago but nooo let's do that laterrrrr you definitely won't regret that#i hate having to put up with this bitch (me) .#another thing is. it's currently summer vacation season so i'll have to brace myself for more support work to come. it's probably gonna go#just as bad if not worse. i'm so not cut out for this. i'll have to ask my boss if he can move me to a different service#so i can have an excuse like sorry i can't help i'm no longer associated with tnt~#but that's gonna have to wait until he;s back from his vacation in august . oh well#also all this stress might result in me getting something akin to an ED#my stress response other than crying and shaking is not feeling hunger. i ate something substantial at 5pm and had breakfast at 6am#between that i had two small pieces of candy and water#i'm already bad at feeding myself or at the very least eating nutritious food . this could make me worse#âoh but kav everyone makes mistakes and it's important to learn from them! keep fighting!â bitch i don't want to i didn't sign up for this#if i wanted to work for Support Team i'd have applied there. i did not wish to get involved with them and their work#sorry i needed to get this out of my system. i'll probably complain to some irls too but i might be able to do that without crying now#laments#<- i think this is going to be my vent tag
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#hey! a little update on my sis condition#the other tests came out and it seems she has something called dysautonomy#Dysautonomia is a nervous system disorder that disrupts autonomic body processes. These are automatic functions like your blood pressure#and heart rate. Having dysautonomia means these functions donât work properly#causing disruptive symptoms. #i copy that from google#she was recomended to increase her salt consumption to eat better and to do yoga#but apparently shes gonna keep having black outs#if theyre too consecutevely shes gonna have to get a more detailed neurologic study#so far shes had like 3 more episodes#siiighhhhhhhhh#anyways Im trying to help everytime Im home and not at work I cook for her and try to distract her from stressful episodes bc it seems to#have to do a lot with anxiety#she has this sudden rush and anxiety sometimes but you can calm her by talking to her#she needs to keep checking her heart rate so my mom got her an oxymeter#shes very responsible and for someone her age shes really managing this very well despite the anxiety attacks#i was dueling on posting or not an update here it really doesnt matter and doesnt make much difference but i felt like it was weird to#never address it again lol#so here we are#supposedly that sickness regulates itself as you're getting older so lets hope thats her case#personal
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also i would like to mention I drew a reverse death today and sometimes i hate the cards
#like yeah. YEAH im resisting this change#this upheaval of my entire life. 90% of my income is gone by the 4th GONE with no replacement and literally NO help#i went through so. much. fucking. shit. and i get it#I DO#i got the break i wanted. i got two years. like i asked. but i lived those two years in the absolute most stress ive ever been in#I GOT A GREY HAIR#AT 20#and i am. i truly am thankful. that for those 2 years i did get somewhat of a rest. of a break. but#but really? REALLY. all at once?#im allowing myself to be upset by this. and i need. i need an out! i need a way. i need mark rutte to choke on a bicycle#for 8 years. EIGHT FUCKING YEARS I've been RUNNING AND FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE. FOR SOMEWHAT OF A LIFE#and its not acts of god. its not fate. its the system. the so terribly broken system that forces people like me into surviving instead of#living. im not the only one. im not the only child this happened to and that absolutely BREAKS ME. IT SHOULD'VE ENDED WITH ME#others shouldnt have to go through this ITS SO UNFUCKINGFAIR TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH THID#I SHOULDVE BEEN THE ONLY ONE OR THE LAST AND THE FACT#the fact im not. the fact somewhere in this goddamn 'first world country' someone is going through the EXACT same thing i went through#it haunts me. it so terribly haunts me.#im writing a letter as well. it wont change anything but at least ill have written it and maybe just. just maybe it can spark the slightest#hint. a sliver. a drop. a teeny tiny bit of change.#god im so. angry. really really angry
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Stuck in TWST without meds
and also they're yandere or something
@shironakuronatasa here you go pookie <3
Because everyone is different, I'm gonna be focusing on the meds I take and the things I experience! If you're inspired to write one of your own based on your types of meds, go for it! I'd love to see others' takes on this :3
I'm still writing in 2nd person, but you/mc is heavily based off of me!
(And if you still want a personalized one but don't want to write it, my commissions are open/hj)
Tw for one mention of suicidal ideation.
Imagine...
You don't quite have a clusterfuck of things going on in your head, but sometimes it can feel like it. Autism, Anxiety, depression, and ADD. Thankfully, you have access to medication, and they work well for you.
Although you can't keep the downward spiraling from the depression and anxiety away completely, it is far more manageable with your medication. You've found that when off them, you are far more prone to completely fall apart at even the slightest inconvenience. It feels like constant stormy waters, with stormclouds that only make the waves worse. But when on them, the storm disappears. Yes, the waves still get rocky and tip your boat from side to side, but you're emotionally stable enough to handle them.
Then the meds for your ADD. With them you have the razor sharp focus to not only take care of projects and work, but also to simply take care of yourself. When off of those, even simple tasks like taking out the trash can take hours, especially since you so easily forget steps, and will stop the chore in the middle, genuinely thinking it's complete.
But you have your meds, so you manage just fine.
Until you're sucked into Twisted Wonderland.
First of all, even if you had already taken the meds for anxiety/depression, there's not much they could do in the face of being transported and consequently trapped in a different dimension. But they do still help, and instead of bawling, you manage to keep a cool (enough) head and get yourself settled into Ramshackle.
But they don't last you long. They had built up in your system enough to last you a few days, but time and circumstances were not on your side.
Even though Grim is by no means an emotional support pet, and is by all means a little shit, he manages to push his pride aside when he can tell you really need it.
Especially the days where you wonder if death is what will bring you back home...
Grim will act as if he helps you for his own purposes, but he is genuinely there for you.
The others, however...
First of all, quite a few of them don't completely understand... you're extra sad and spacey, but you had some kind of magic to help with it back home, but you don't have them here, and without them you get... sad and spacey?
Riddle probably sees it as some pathetic excuse. It's not until after his overblot that his tune completely changes and he is giving you all the special treatment. Even if you mess up on purpose, even if it's something that really frustrates him, he'll justify it as you not knowing any better. Which is patronizing as hell.
Ace will use it to his advantage. Getting into trouble and having you take the brunt. And you play along with it, because, again, Riddle is treating you like an incompetent child, so you are all for raising Cain with Ace. What Ace really loves about this, though, is that it makes you more willing to hang out with him, and more likely to dislike Riddle.
I imagine Deuce has something going as well, though I don't quite know what, and neither does he. But he finds a kindred spirit in you. Study sessions with him are a MUST, and you share your different study and coping tactics, while he stares at your lovely face.
Trey relishes in caring for you. If you're having any kind of sudden increase in stress or sorrow, he is fucking there. He will scoop you up and take you to the kitchen and treat you with his home baked goodies right then and there. Same with your academics, if you need help with academics, it's to the kitchen for tutoring. And as bad as it is, he finds himself wishing you'd give in and lean on him completely.
Leona will also be there for you in depressive episodes. He sees how you always go to Grim when your upset, notices the little things that Grimm does that helps, and starts subtly using them whenever you're upset. Not even just if it's depression/anxiety related, if you're upset with him specifically he'll start purring in that low register that has your heart slowing. He'll rest his body on your chest as a weighted blanket. He'll let you pet him and comb through his hair. All until all you associate Leona with is safety and comfortâas you should from a mate.
Ruggie is SUCH a little meanie at first! Specifically regarding your ADD. Once he sees how much it genuinely upsets you, though, he'll back off. He does have a manipulative streak, though, and will use your anxiety against you. Any way he can get you to distrust others and seek him out is a good way.
Jack is one who does not fuckin understand at first, but once he does, he's supportive. He asks if there's anyway he can help and you offhandedly tell him about emotional support dogs, and he is locked on. He's embarrassed by it at first, of course, but he can tell how safe it makes you feel, and like Leona he is completely fucking for that. Though he won't just be emotional support, no, he'll be the guard dog chasing away anything that could possibly trigger you.
School is very difficult for you without your ADD meds. You can manage, but it is far more stressful and difficult than it needs to be. So, of course, you have those generously offering to help youâspecifically Azul, who's more than willing to help... at a price, of course.
Floyd really likes when you daze off in class... When you're staring blankly, mind thinking about so many things except whatever the professor is droning on about. The way your eyes glaze over, the way you're so focused on whatever the fuck is going on in your head, the way your lips part ever so slightly... All your idle habits are endlessly entrancing to him. And, goes without saying, every single time you're especially depressed, he offers a good squeeze session.
Jade, the manipulative bastard, will purposely set you up for failure so that you feel like you need to go to him for help. Because lord knows Azul will make you pay for it, but not your good friend Jade. Plus, if you ever mention how hiking can help with mood, lord save your soul...
Jamil is such a DICK. He will be degrading you at every second, completely taking over whatever it is you try to do. Even if it has nothing to do with him. God, you remind him of Kalim, but at least you don't have the nerve to be so fucking happy all the time. A sick part of him likes when you're sad. You're less annoying when you're depressed, specifically, without little energy or motivation to do or be anything else. He'd happily take care of you then. He'll do whatever you need done. You'd probably do it wrong anyway.
Kalim feels so fucking seen and understood. He honestly felt like some kind of freak for so much of his life, but you... you're kinda like him! A lot sadder though. Your very existence brightens his life, so he's made it his mission to brighten yours. He also really can't stand it when you're with others. It's so obvious you two are meant for each other! He views your shared ADD symptoms as evidence of soulmateship.
Vil is another case of not fully understanding. You're making excuses. Until he takes it a bit too far, pushes even more than what you can handle, and you fully break down in front of him. You're so completely and utterly vulnerable in that moment. He doesn't know if it's a very dedicated manipulation tactic to get out of his nitpicking, but... he becomes a little more sympathetic with you. Vil recognizes that, for whatever reason, you do in fact seem to struggle more with certain things. And yet, despite that, you still try. You continue push yourself, even if what youre pushing towards is, by other people's standards, the norm/mediocrity/minimum. And in you he starts to see a bit of himself. Especially since, let's face it, with depression, anxiety, and add, it is very likely you relate more to Vil than you do Niege. He helps you, and in turn you help him, though you don't even realize it. Helping you be happier with yourself helps him be happy with himself. And he'll fucking slaughter anyone who takes you away from him.
Rook, like Vil, is easily able to recognize how much you not only struggle, but how much you try. And he finds that incredibly beautiful. Needless to say, he is often watching you. Everything you do is enchanting. He memorizes every. single. stim. and habit. Sometimes when you get frustrated, he just wants to scoop you up in his arms and shower you in kisses, but then you'd realize he broke into your room...
Epel will see how much you get pushed around, and takes it upon himself to defend you. He also sees a bit of himself in you. Sometimes he purposely waits around you, and at the first sign of trouble, he'll attack.
Sometimes you just get too fucking overstimulated and you need a break. And in those times, you've found Idia to be the best person to go to. You both started off pretty distant. You approached him, upset, and asked for a quiet place. You put in headphones and just laid down right there. The two of you just sat in silence, with headphones in, doing your own things, blocking out the world. And, oh, how Idia came to crave those moments. He began to depend on you for comfort, ans hoping that you would similarly come to depend on him. You're different from those other normies, you're the only one who gets him so please just stay with him! He will start to modify his room to be the perfect sensory room, the only place in the school you can go to fully regulate yourself. He starts going out with you, acting as if you're really helping him step out of his shell, when really he just wants to spend more time with you, and will continue to shy away from everyone else and hide behind you. This man desperately needs you to need him as desperately as he needs you.
You are so. Fucking. Cute. Malleus finds your every single quirk so fucking attractive. He doesnt like, however, seeing you so upset. So sad. And the kind of sad where he is helpless to help you. He also really doesn't like it when you're upset at yourself. Don't you realize you're perfect? And who cares if you're not good at any of the school stuff? Malleus doesn't. You don't need any of those skills anyway, with Malleus Draconia here to always take care of you.
if you want the rest of diasomnia or the secret character I subtly didn't include lmk
part two out now!!
#yes iâm referencing the eels mouth open thing again leave me alone#yandere#yandere rambles#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#twst floyd#twst headcanons#yandere twst headcanons#yandere ace trappola#yandere deuce spade#yandere trey clover#yandere riddle rosehearts#yandere leona kingscholar#yandere jack howl#yandere ruggie bucchi#yandere azul x reader#yandere jade leech#yandere floyd leech#yandere kalim al asim#yandere jamil viper#yandere epel felmier#yandere rook hunt#yandere vil schoenheit#yandere idia shroud#yandere malleus draconia#yandere headcanons
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Lips of a Gentleman
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Part 1 || Future take Summary: A spontaneous museum date alters your relationship with Spencer for the better Trope: Fluff! Just fluff! w.c: 1.2k a/n: This is actually an anon request about going on a museum date with Spencer and interrupting his ramblings with a kiss and I couldnât help myself so I connected this to âWanted: A Gentleman.â I also used my favorite painter here as a prop to yap so I hope you like it! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! masterlist
It was a Saturday afternoon when the BAU team closed a serial killer case in the state of New York. They were called in four nights ago and the stress mixed with a high dose of adrenaline that had run through their veins were on itâs way out of their system, leaving all the members dead to their feet and wishing for much needed rest over the remaining weekend.
âHotch,â Reid captured his unit chiefâs attention as they waited for the remaining members, Morgan and Rossi, to come down from their respective hotel rooms. âIâd like to stay behind, if thatâs alright.â
There was a minuscule eyebrow raise from Hotch in question.
âHuh,â Emily mused, a teasing smile appearing on her face. âFunny, thereâs also a certain someone that we knowââ she gestured to herself and JJ. ââwhoâs in New York today. Isnât that right, JJ?â
The blonde profiler let out a laugh. âYeah, I wonder if that has something to do with Spence staying behind.â
âWell, does it?â Emily lightly elbowed him in jest.
Spencer clears his throat, trying his best to come off casual but utterly failing with his voice going up an octave. âMaybe.â
âItâs the weekend, take your day off,â Hotch conceded. âAnd Reid, congratulations.â
âFor what?â
A tenor voice answered behind him. Morgan, it was Morgan. âFor finally getting a girlfriend.â
âGood on you, kid,â Rossi added on, patting his back as he made his way through.
âââ
Locks of hair were escaping your loosely tied bun as you brisk walked to get to the steps of the MET museum. The emergency meeting with suppliers ran a little later than you anticipated making you already fifteen minutes late from your agreed meet up with Spencer.
A smile graced your face as your thoughts settled on the perfect gentleman. It had been a perfect match made by your three friends, Emily, Penelope, and JJ.
A blind date that had gone so great that it blossomed another date and another. This spontaneous one marked as the fifth and it brought to mind the first meeting at the steps of the Smithsonian and Spencerâs chivalrous move of tying your loose shoe lace.
âIâm so sorry for being late,â your voice reaching Spencerâs ears before he spots you adjusting the straps of your falling shoulder bag approaching his form. âThe supplier didnât come on time so IâIâm sorry.â
He rocked on his heels, hands wrapped around his satchel strap. âThatâs alright, I just arrived myself.â
You knew it was a lie but appreciated his effort in trying to make you feel better. That was just one of the many things you could see yourself falling for in Spencer. As if you werenât already halfway there.
âShall we?â His lips forming a smile, no doubt remembering those were the exact words he said during the first date.
You giggled, echoing the same response. âWe shall.â
âSo is there a specific section you want to visit first?â Spencer asked as he flashed two admission tickets at the entrance.
âHm,â you scooted closer to his svelte protective form, avoiding the onslaught of tourists groups excitedly entering. âThe gallery of European paintings?â
He smiled and nodded. His left hand hovering near the small of your back, never touchingâitsâ warmth penetrating the thick layers of your coat and sweater while the gesture made your heart flutter fast like the hummingbirdâs wings.
There was comfortable silence in between you. Inconspicuous side glances and shy smiles that say a thousand more words that seemingly canât or wonât be spoken out loud. The tranquility was a sharp contrast to the bustling and echoing noise all around the museum as guests discuss with their partners the surrounding art and take photos as personal mementos.
Your feet came to a stop in front of your favorite artistâs work. âI always did prefer his work more than Van Gogh.â
Spencer smiled, gaze warm on your side profile as his eyes traced the escaped locks of hair that framed the modern art standing beside him which was you and your expressive face. His fingers, as if hypnotized, reached out to tuck one side that casted a shadow on your feature behind your pinking ear. âActually, when you look at Klimtâs early landscape paintings, you could see he took inspiration from the Dutch painter.â
âReally?â Your body twisting to face him.
He studied your body language. Arms limp at the sides, open and trusting. Torso slightly leaning forward, attention fully captivated. And eyes wide, twinkling with curiosity. âYeah, yeahââ he nodded, his own body mimicking yours and its unsaid language. ââand although Klimtâs colors are stronger in contrast, the impact from having viewed Van Goghâs paintings in his earlier life can be spotted in his brush strokes and painting subjects.â
âSpence, I hope you donât take this the wrong way but you donât strike me as an art critic. Is it a side of you that Iâm only finding about now?â You teased.
âNo,â he laughed, tucking his hands at the front of his jeans to fight the urge to touch you once more. âI read about it.â
âCan you tell me more then?â you further leaned in and whispered. âI bet youâd do a slightly better job than their pre-recorded audio tours.â
Spencer threw his head back and let a few chuckles echo on the walls. Your mind and its clever wit had impressed him since the first date. It was one of the many things he could see falling for in you. That was a half lie. In full truth, it was one of the many things that made him fall for you.
âWell, Klimtâs most expensive painting was previously stolen by the Nazis during WWII when they occupied Austria. Austrian Museum housed it after the war but there was a court battle for it and they had to return it the the family owner. And in 2006, Oprah actually bought itââ your smooth hands cupped his face, bringing his ramblings into a stuttering halt. His heartbeat, nestled within his ribcage, threatening to break from its confines as you stood on your tip toes, leaving a series of small kisses at ends of his mouth before landing on his awaiting lips.
âIâIâm so sorry,â eyes wide as you leaned back from his reach. A move that didnât widen the gap as his body hunched itself forward, following you in its wake. âI couldnât resist.â
He answered with a longer kiss, fingers twining with your silky locks of hair that had fascinated him since a while ago. âDonât be. Iâve been wanting to do that too, I just didnât know if youâd welcome it.â
You exhaled a giggle, cheeks pink with happiness. âYou definitely can, anytime.â
âIâll keep that in mind,â his smile mirrored the euphoria written on your face. If he were to try to describe this very emotion, heâd compare it to walking on cloud nine. To winning a lottery. Or perhaps to finding an invaluable art piece meant just for him.
And while the surroundings were still dull and mundane, there were a burst of colors that splashed Spencerâs world anew as his warm comforting hand now finally found its way to yours and his thumb invisibly painting abstract at the back of your palm.
Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfiction#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid request#spencer reid x reader
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Moon in the houses (Part 2)đ
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This is primarily based on how Moon is related to CHANGES and what possible changes moon placements can bring over time. I've included some other random points too.đ
(These observations are based on the whole sign system, sidereal charts and all obs are subject to change with other aspects in the chart, so don't conclude anything with a single placement, take whatever that resonates and leave the rest,hope you enjoy giving it a read, take it lightly!) â€
Moon in 7th house- You could have a dependent personality especially if it's in a water/earth sign. 7H water moons can be openly expressive about it with their partners that they like to be clingy and value companionship a lot, this can even manifest into them indulging in their partner's life too much without leaving space for any personal boundaries. 7H moons can change from being dependent to growing out as an independent person when their feelings and needs were repeatedly misunderstood or hurt by their loved ones, this can be a potential change that will happen in these people. Partner can have a complex personality, difficult to understand or moody. The people they get acquainted in life, not essentially friendships, just the circle of people they have can sound like people pleasers. In man's chart, they can have many female friendships if moon is placed well. Some of you can eat more when feeling anxious or stressed.đ€đ€
Moon in 8th house- You could potentially sense death incidents in your surrounding. You can ooze self pride a lot, difficulty in asking for help to anyone even if you are in need. You opt to struggle by yourself rather than voicing out that you actually need help. Your intelligence will not be limited to specific areas, you have exceptional analytical skills where you go to the root and think everything deeply. You could've been someone who is constantly questioning yourself and having a pessimistic mentality towards life in general, you don't express it outside but you could've struggled with self esteem issues in earlier life stages leading to anxiety and lesser self confidence, then you learn how to navigate through your strengths and wield it in a way that makes u feel more confident. Your confidence stems from feeling powerful, which can make you addicted towards improving your area of strengths and focus on being better than others, this could be the change you can have in later stages where you learn to transform yourself rather than give in to that low self esteem and pessimistic little voice in your mind.đȘđȘ
Moon in 9th house- You could've been a person who wasn't very open minded or judgemental about others ' way of thinking and living life. Your life approach and how you think could be influenced by the teachings of your mother or grandmother. You could've given unsolicited life advice to the people you cared about, based on what you think about their situations, later you realize no one thinks of unsolicited advice as a form of caring as you do and refrain from doing it excessively. The change you might experience as you grow up is the expansion of your thinking, widely accepting things outside your societal norms and becoming a non judgemental friend to anyone. You can be emotionally connected to the places you travel, you are the person who says 'I left a piece of my heart there'. You would collect things from the places you visited, not a famous thing, but something unique that makes you feel sentimental about that particular place and cherish it. You can have a dream of pursuing higher education in foreign places. For taurus and gemini ascendants, this could cause a strained relationship with mom or a mother who was distant or absent. If your sun is well placed, you can be more attached to your father who could've possibly played the role of your mother.â€â€
Moon in 10th house- You can be popular in your workplace and have many friends. You tend to be walking on eggshells, adjusting to people and can sound like a people pleaser. Sometimes you can get caught between two people who don't like each other and you're forced to play a mediator. You don't choose sides easily, that's why you can have friendship with most of the colleagues. Even though you have an image of a pleasant person at work, you can be prone to high levels of stress and sometimes even crying in the bathroom when the workload gets too much, you are not a workaholic, it can make you feel depressed easily. You are sensitive to criticism at work, you would reassess a lot before submitting your assigned task. This can also be an indicator where your passion is in a totally different field from where you work now and you can be prone to changing jobs or even the field from time to time. You would socialize after your work time with colleagues, like in the cafeteria but many times you would mentally force yourself to do so, as you have a hard time saying 'NO' at the workplace. Later, you learn to prioritize yourself, quit from jobs if it's too much stress on you, say NO to the boss if he's asking you to work overtime and tell 'bye' to ur colleagues right after your shift ends and go right to your bed to relax. This could be a change you develop over time.đđ
Moon in 11th house- You could have a close knit of friends you care about a lot rather than a whole lot of random people. You love the depth of friendship, where you can have deep conversations with each other and be emotionally connected. You rarely entertain the type of friends who just exploit you in later life stages but you are helpful to anyone who comes to you with their problems as you are a great listener and empathetic. You could be that kid who still remembers their best friend from school or is still in contact with them closely. Some people can have the same best friend from their primary/middle school. You could feel like your friends come to you only when they need your help or support, you can feel one sided or way too giving and available always in earlier friendships which can make you to be selective about your circle in a later age. Your elder siblings can lean on you for emotional support and you will gladly provide it for them. You can come off as a different individual than what people would've assumed about you as your social tendencies can fluctuate from time to time, your social battery can go from being very high to living under a rock. Your uniqueness in thinking and approaching emotional situations in a logical way and difference in perspectives can make u feel incompatible with most people but you love the mental stimulation you get from like minded people and can talk with them for hours. Your income can be from multiple sources apart from your main job especially if mercury is involved too. For some people, You feel like a sponge absorbing the energies of people around you in a social setting, which can be draining your own liveliness but you always try your best to lighten up everyone around you. You have difficulty in expressing your emotions as your words are often misinterpreted and you end up murmuring 'no that's not what I meant'.đđ
Moon in 12th house- Mother could've been hospitalized for a long time or they can be mentally unstable with either being closed off entirely or showing drastic emotional outbursts which can lead you to become a quiet person trying their best to control and turn off their emotions all the time. Traveling to foreign lands, away from home gives you a state of mental peace as your home can be a reminder of your suppressed emotional state, how you were forced to mature as a kid. Instead you can turn towards spirituality and seek solace in that. Your intuitive and psychic nature helps you in understanding the complexities of the human mind, making you an extraordinary person for people to confide in. In earlier stages, you appear as a calm person but inside you carry too much emotional turmoil. The change you face is that you gradually learn to embrace your scars and let go of all the emotional baggage the moment you turn towards spirituality. Your outer demeanor will start to match your inner being, both calm and detached from worldly attachments and emotional sufferings. You could've yearned for deep, soul melting emotional connections but later have philosophical realization phases. You love sleeping but can be frustrated about how much of a light sleeper you are or just how disturbed you sleep. You could have irregular sleep schedules and watery eyes. You have vivid dreams that almost feel so real most of the time. At the younger phase, you could have the habit of isolating yourself and hiding from crowded places when you're hurt, in a fear of lashing out on somebody else or getting your emotional side exposed. You like a partner who can sit in silence with you and understand you without exchanging conversations. You are also highly likely to only have intimacy with the person you feel deeply connected with, flings can make you feel like your energy's been disturbed or just empty inside. At your lower state, you can indulge in compulsive addictions and have flings but if someone with this placement had that phase, they would've felt entirely devastated and overcame it with much difficulty.đ·đ·
With Love- Yashi â€âĄ
Moon in houses part 1 hereâš
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Some of my favorite, understated moments with heartbreaking implications for Halsin
1. Halsin threatening to turn into a mouse in the epilogue if the player brags about his achievements- he's so shy and humble that just being acknowledged for LITERALLY BUILDING A COMMUNE HIMSELF makes him want to hide. A mouse is a very symbolic choice here: not only easy to hide, but also easily overlooked and forgotten. The idea of his accomplishments being acknowledged is so terrifying for him that he wants to turn into an animal no one will notice, instead of his usual strong, large, noticeable bear.
2. "Sometimes, I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt." This isn't the kind of thing that happens after one or two people act like jerks. This is years and years of cruel treatment, of his emotions being demeaned and mocked because of his size. Of people judging him before even meeting him- and forming an entirely wrong view of him. Halsin is a bighearted, tender, sentimental man, yet because he's big... Well, big people don't have feelings, surely. /s
3. "You and I may struggle to go unnoticed in such environs, Karlach[...] Folk of our stature can be a lure for drunkards seeking a brawl, I have found," combined with, "There is a particular discomfort to besting one you know to be weaker than yourself - even when needs must," from a different scene. People have sought him out and fought him because of his size (which had to have been terrifying, especially the first time), and he feels guilty when he takes out someone he knows is weaker, even if they STARTED it. How many times has the poor guy been traveling and then had to defend himself against someone 1/2 his size, making HIM look like the asshole to onlookers, and reinforcing that whole "people think I can't be hurt" thing?
4. "It was always destined to be so, if we prevailed. But the foreknowledge makes it no less bittersweet..." (About the players' paths diverging post brain battle), combined with "I see... After all my years of living, I know all too well that nothing lasts forever. Yet a parting can sting, nonetheless," if the player breaks up with him in the ending. This poor guy was having the time of his life adventuring with the group (and possibly falling in love there) yet never believed it would truly last (because of his abandonment issues). And then to have it confirmed.... he must have felt so awful in that moment, even if he was being dignified about it.
5. "You came for me... thank you. I feared Orin's accursed smile would be the very last sight I beheld," when Halsin is freed from Orin, combined with, "Orin's blades. I hoped my friends would save me..." If he is killed by Orin instead and Speak With the Dead is used on his corpse. The tone of his voice in the first line, especially added to that bit in the second... he never thought the player was coming to save him. He HOPED they would. Not "believed". Hoped. He thought he was going to die there- just like how he was in the Underdark for THREE YEARS and no one came to save him. And if it's confirmed... Yeah. That. (Sidenote: if you ask his corpse if he has any regrets, he says not telling Thaniel and Oliver goodbye, and not getting to see their land flourish. :( My heart. :( )
6. "I... have not had true confidantes for some time. The Shadow Curse robbed me of almost all my peers, and replaced them with the weight of responsibility. Perhaps that caused me to gild undeserving memories of my youth." Halsin was so miserable and stressed being Archdruid that he romanticized his past as a sex slave, viewing it as a safer, even happier alternative. There were actually times when Halsin thought he might rather be a sex slave than continue to be Archdruid. In a sense, for the 100 years the Shadow Curse was around, Halsin was just as much a prisoner as Thaniel was in the Shadowfell, but Halsin's prison had invisible bars. The Shadow Curse took away his entire support system, and being Archdruid forced him to be the strong one, always, never allowed to be weak or scared, forced him to take control of situations when he hated it, forced him to spend his time sorting out people instead of being in nature. And he was MISERABLE. For 100 years.
7. "You understand me almost perfectly. Only my late mother may have bested you." (Said if you get one question wrong at the love dryad test). He misses his mama. :( Especially when you consider that if you steal Balthazar's "Mother Dearest" and taunt him about it, Halsin disapproves (and is the only one to do so), while returning her gets you approval (which only Halsin approves of). And then the line when you look into a mirror while controlling him, "more like my father, with each passing day..." He really misses them. :(
8. "I am loathe to see anyone behind bars. It reminds me of my time as a guest of the goblins." He is, secretly, still quite traumatized from his time in the goblin pens, but he brushes it off. Just like every OTHER time he is hurt.
9. "I am aware [of having a habit of getting captured]. Perhaps I put too much faith in my skills of negotiation, or want to see good where there is none. It would be easy to resort to nature's fury whenever something stood in my way, yet I cannot help but feel I would be sullying the Oak Father's gifts. Naive perhaps... but I still draw breath." Halsin is aware he gets hurt often because of his desire to see good in people until he has no other choice, but refuses to give up anyway (which is backed up by that letter Gut had on her where she reveals Halsin TRIED to help the goblins, saying he could cure them of their tadpoles, only to be thrown in the cage, with Gut threatening to have his stomach cut open and maggots placed inside it.) Further, even though he is an Archdruid, and one of the most devoted, and explicitly has Silvanus's favor (Halsin says that gaining his favor was the only way he was able to open the portal to the Shadowfell), he still constantly worries about using Silvanus's powers, to the point of wondering if an actual threat to his safety actually merits using his powers. Which... combined with some other stuff, reads like one hell of a problem with self-worth.
10. "At least you were not present. Grim as [the ruined battlefield] is now, it was worse on the day of the battle. A vivid wound upon my memory[...] I was lucky - I lived, when so many did not. It would take me a day and a night to recite the names of all the friends I lost" combined with, "I was [present when the Shadow Curse was unleashed]. Part of my spirit was shorn away from me here, and never left," and, if Last Light falls, "All gone... devoured by the shadows. Oak Father preserve us, it's just like a hundred years ago[...] We are [still standing]. Yet there is a burden to being the survivor... the witness to others' tragedies. It only grows heavier with time." He has so much PTSD and survivor guilt from the Shadow Curse. :( No wonder it's all he can think about- to the point that some of the other companions even get annoyed at him for his obsession.
11. "I never quite realised how burdened I was, until I met you. The threat of the shadow curse, the politics of the grove... I was forgetting who I was, but you lifted the fog. Thank you." Not only does this tie in with the above, with his PTSD from the curse and his utter misery at being Archdruid, but this HEAVILY implies Halsin had depression. Like... that "fog" line hits HARD if you have or have had depression, because that's exactly what it feels like. And the "forgetting who I was" bit too. Not just losing his sense of self to the depression, but to the neverending responsibilities of being Archdruid. I keep repeating myself, but damn, this guy has really and truly spent an entire century being absolutely MISERABLE. :(
12. "Forgive me. I... lost the run of myself. Sometimes, if blood runs hot enough, it's difficult to tame the beast." With that little disgusted groan/sigh, the fury and disgust at himself visible on his face, and the way he rushes to get out the rest of it- he thinks he fucked up so badly that you're about to leave him, maybe forever. And then if you reject him after this? "Ah... I see. Well, of course. Back to camp then." He has the most heartbroken look on his face here, and the way he says "of course" like he just... knew this was coming the instant he accidentally wildshaped. He felt that the first time he let ANY of his imperfections show, the player would leave him. :(
13. "Death is nature's final slumber - it awaits us all. Do not punish yourself over those lost, or give in to despair - not while there are still folk in need of your help." (Said to a Dark Urge if they tell him they're not much of a hero and most people needing them end up dead) Not only is Halsin speaking from experience here, but it's very clear he is STILL doing exactly what he tells Durge not to do, to himself- punishing himself over those who were lost, struggling with devastating survivor guilt.
14. "The grove has cut itself off from the world, to jealously guard its own little pocket of nature. No one shall ever enter or leave again. And I have been evicted from the very place I was charged to safeguard. A telling summary of my time as Archdruid, perhaps..." If the Grove is sealed and you ask him about it later, this is what he says. Interesting that he views being evicted from the place he was in charge of protecting to be a "telling summary." He was forced to take the leadership role there, and yet it was clear he wasn't wanted or respected by a great number of the Druids (exempting Nettie, Rath, and Apikusis). He got a truly thankless job that took damn near EVERYTHING from him emotionally/mentally, causing him to develop depression and causing him to backslide in his previous healing from his trauma from his time as a sex slave, he still gave EVERYTHING to the Grove, and in return...... almost none of his Druids appreciated or even liked him. (I could seriously write at least five metas about how obviously miserable Halsin was at the Grove, despite caring for it deeply).
15. "You could have done anything, gone with anyone... yet you chose me." Said at the epilogue to a solo romanced player who went to the commune with him. There's so many layers of heartbreak here. He is still surprised, six months later, that the player chose him. He even thinks the player will regret it, and will decide they want an adventurer's life after all after seeing everyone else. He doesn't think he is good enough- doesn't think he deserves the player, and yet at the same time he loves them so much that he is heartbroken over the possibility they might agree with him. He thinks that given a chance, there is little chance they would actually choose him again. (He is put at ease quickly when the player promises they picked him for a reason, but even the explanation he gives for why he was so worrie is heartbreaking- that he's so used to a tumultuous life that he thinks something must go wrong. He has been so traumatized so many times over the years that he just has almost no ability to think that true happiness is possible [or deserved] for him.) Something about that is just heartbreaking, even though his ending is one of the happiest of any of the companions.
Someone give this sweet bear man a hug, please :(
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Request: carmy/reader, jealousy
âyouâre so mean to me.â (c. berzatto x reader)
You friend sees you at the Beef while you were helping out at the counter. Carmy feels insecure. (mean!carmy, angst to fluff, just :(, sydney is such a sweetheart, protect carmen at all cost, not sure if there are spoilers, unedited.) - ACCEPTING REQUESTS!
He comes to the Beef with authority and an air of confidence. Richie noticed that he had a designer shirt on, the monogram of some brand littered on it. The shoes on his feet could cover some expenses at the Beef. You were helping out at the counter that day. Carmy has been telling you how stressful the Beef had been since day one and you decided that on your days off, youâd go down to the shop and help. Carmy wished you didnât come that dayâŠnot if he was there.
The first time you came, Carmy was bewildered. He was a blushing, babbling mess when his girlfriend came to help. âAyo, Jeff, stop staring and give the girl a job!â Tina teased, making Carmyâs ears turn red.Â
âAlright, Chef,â he said, looking at you, finally breaking out of his trance. âCome to the office and IâllâŠorient you,â he takes your hand and brings you to the back office before you could say hi to his coworkers. âSyd, cover for me!â
âYes, chef!âÂ
He locked the door behind him and kissed your head.Â
âHey, baby. What are you doing here?â he asked. His voice was soft, dripping with vanilla and honey.
âItâs my day-off and youâve been telling me how much you needed another person at the counter and I decided to come down and help out. Iâm sure Richie could help me,â you said. âBut if you think that I might disrupt the system, I can leave and stay in the area! We can go on a date after your shift,âÂ
Carmy could just melt. How were you so considerate and beautiful and kind to him? He was so sure that he didnât deserve you. He was almost certain that you were too good for him. Too good for everyone.
âI promise, I wonât mind whatever you choose, Carm.â you said, smiling softly at him. You could see the gears in his head turning.Â
âNo, no. I want you here,â said. âI want you here.â
âOkay. Iâll stay,â he hears, and you kiss him softly. âIâll go to Richie and ask him to teach me the basics, okay?â
âAlright,â he said, pecking your lips âJust come to the office if youâre not feeling it, okay?â
âYeah,â you nod, leaving the space and leaving a lovesick Carmy in the office.Â
âHey, guys! Sorry if Iâm here on short notice. Iâll just keep out of your way and help Richie out, okay?â you asked. The kitchen hums and releases a series of âsureâ, âokayâ, and âthank youâs.â
âChefs! Iâll take care of family today,â Carmy said a few moments later. He was watching you joke around with Richie. He was teaching you the basics and teaching you how to take orders.Â
The first time you helped out, Carmy was tense. He didnât want anything to happen to you. Nothing to touch you but soon, once you were well-integrated in their system, the kitchen found themselves looking forward to every Wednesday when Carmy was calmer, less annoying, and less rude. Itâs like you take out every bad thing in him.Â
-
Not today though. Not when Richie saw your eyes widen in recognition, an instantaneous sweet smile plastered on your face.
âAyo, cousin!â he calls, while you almost literally jumped over the counter to talk to this guy.Â
âLawrence!â you greeted, taking him in a hug. âHow are you? Richie, this is my childhood friend, Lawrence. Lawrence, this is Richie,â
Richie could only give a grimace and a half-assed wave. Where the fuck was Carmy?
âWait for a bit,â you asked. âSit down, okay? Your sandwich is on the house.â You looked at Richie to ask if he could cover for a few minutes and he nodded. He shouts at the order in the kitchen.
âWhoâs that asshole?â he asked, getting a glass of pop.Â
âMy childhood friend,â you said. âWe grew up in the same street together,â
âWhat does he do?â
âFinanceâŠI think? Itâs been a while since we last talked. I think last year?â you wondered. âI didnât even know that he was still in Chicago because we saw each other in New York,â
âCarmy knows him?âÂ
âNo, I donât think so. I donât talk about him alot. I think Carmy only knows him as a childhood friend,â you said. âTheyâve never met each other.â
Richie gives you the drink and the sandwich that Tina prepared. You uttered a thanks before walking to whereLawrence sat.Â
âI didnât know you worked here,â he said, taking the sandwich from the tray.Â
âI didnât know you still lived here,â you said. âThe last time that I saw you was in New York. I thought you were a big finance guy?â
âAh, I quit,â he shrugged. âDecided to start my own start-up here in Chicago. I had enough savings and well, you know,â
âOf course,â you nod. âI donât work here. I just help out once a week because everythingâs been so busy,â
âHm,â he hums. âMy employees have been raving about the sandwiches here since the new management took over. Decided to try it out and sure enough, you were there.â
âFuck! Where the fuck were you?â Richie asked Carmy when he finally came through the back door. Some rich asshole has been wooing your girl in the seating area. Says heâs her childhood friend or some shit,â
âWho?â Carmen asked, removing his jacket.Â
âYour girlfriend took a break to talk to a customer, Jeff.â Tina said. Carmy frowned, walking briskly to you. The staff huddled, intrigued at how this could unfold. Carmy has never felt jealousy before. Heâs never had to deal with girlfriends and their guy friends that definitely look at you too long. Heâd never have to deal with Lawrence who was so obviously flirting with you. Heâd never have to deal with you accepting it. The jealousy consumes him.
âCarmy! Come here,â you said when you finally noticed him. Heâs been standing there for minutes while you listened to this guy drone on about how bored he was with his money. How you were probably meant to see each other again.Â
âHey,â Carmy greets the guy in front of you. A chair scrapes loudly on the floor, reverberating in the whole restaurant. He sits down.Â
âCarmyâs the owner of this place,â you told Lawrence. âHeâs my boyfriend.â
âHe is?â Lawrence asked and Carmy could feel him sizing him up in his dirty white t-shirt. âIâm Lawrence. We grew up together,â
âOh,â Carmy said. âUh, babe, can I talk to you for a minute in the office?â
âSure,â you said. âI have to go,â you told Lawrence, who stood up as well. His sandwich was half-eaten and it annoyed Carmy. Had he no respect to at least finish the food in front of the chef who made it? Asshole.Â
âNo, itâs fine. Iâm leaving too,â Lawrence said. âI have a meeting around here. Iâll see you?â he asked.Â
âOf course,â You removed your hand from Carmen to hug Lawrence and it fucking hurt. Lawrence kisses the side of your head before sparing a glance to Carmy. What an asshole.Â
âWhat was it, Carm?â you asked, smiling. You were almost forgiven because of how sweet you looked but Carmy have always felt things too intensely. He couldnât stop what came from his mouth and it was too late. Too fucking late and the damage has been done.
âGo home,â he said, coldly. Your face fell and Carmen wanted to take it back. He felt you recoil yourself away from him, as if heâs hurt you. As if he burned you.
âBear?â you asked softly.
âGo home,â he repeated. You frowned, grief-stricken but you nodded.Â
âOkay,â you whispered. âIâllâŠIâll just get my stuff from the locker,â
Carmy looks away from you and you clear your throat. Walking away from him, you saw the staff pretend like they werenât listening.
âHey, guys. Iâm goingâŠgoing home,â you said, trying to stabilize your wavering voice. Tears were threatening to spill but you blink them away. âI donât feel well, and I realized I have thisâŠthing to attend to.â you lied.
âOf course, sweets,â Tina says. âGet home safely, okay?â she asked.Â
âYeah. Iâll let you know once Iâm home.â
âIâll come with you,â Sydney says, glaring at Carmen.Â
âNo, itâsâ â
âItâs just a few blocks away. Iâll take you.â she says, and you nodded, walking to the locker room with her.Â
âSorry for being such a bother,â you said while you waited for her to change into her outside shoes.Â
âYouâre not,â she reassured. âLetâs go?â
-
âI didnât know what I did wrong,â you said, walking away from The Beef. âI was just so excited to see my friend. We grew up together, you know? In the same street. Went to the same school and we havenât seen each other in a year. I didnât know what I did for Carmy to be so mean.â
âItâs okay,â Syd says, not wanting to get in the middle. âJust explain things to him, okay? Youâre the only person he listens to.â
âI guess,â you nodded, wiping the tears from your cheeks. âI justâŠheâs never been that way to me before. It feels new and I donât like it,â
Syd, whoâs been on the receiving end of Carmy Berzattoâs anger, wanted to protect you from him but it wasnât her place. She wanted so badly to tell you to let him cool off.
The remaining walk back to your apartment was quiet. You both didnât know what to say, where to start.Â
âDo you want to come in?â you asked Sydney. âRefresh a bit?â
âNo, Iâm fine. I might be needed at the restaurant,â Syd says. You nod, going in for a goodbye hug with your friend. âIâll see you?â
âYeah. Thanks for walking me home. Stay safe, okay?â
-
The kitchen hated Carmy that day. He was ruder, more annoying, moreâŠinsufferable. Tina said that he handled the situation wrong, Eibrahim and the others, except for Richie agreed. So, when Sydney comes back, the first thing she say was, âWhat the fuck, Carmen?â
âStay out of it, Sydney,â Richie warns but Sydney did not give a fuck. Seeing her friend so defeated, so sad stirred something in her. Maybe she was biased because she actually liked you
âShe was crying all the way from here,â she said. Carmy felt like he was going to throw up. âGrow up, Carmy. Just because you canât handle that she has other friends, doesnât mean you have to take it out on her.â
âFuck off, Sydney.â
Sydney stands, taken aback. She was just trying to help.
âFine,â she says, blinking. âBut if you come to an empty home, donât take it out on us.â
-
Sydneyâs warning rang in his ears as he drove home. He was anxious but his anger superseded every emotion that he was feeling. That was why, when he opened the door, he immediately looked for you.Â
âWho was that?â he demanded. Anxiety and anger had such a bad mix and he knew it. He couldnât stop. That friend of yours made him feel so insecure.Â
âCarmen,â you sighed. âHeâs my friend. Lawrence. I told you about him before,â
âCarmen?â he chuckled. Heâs just Carmen now? âI donât like him.â
âWhy?â you asked, exasperated. âHeâs nice. I was actually so excited for the two of you to meet until you ruined it. Heâs my friend that I havenât seen in over a year, Carmy. Wasnât it a natural reaction to be excited?â
âWhat? Youâre telling me that I ruined your little date in my restaurant?â he asked, voice raising. âThatâs nice. Sorry for bothering you,â
âWe werenât even doing anything wrong!â you said, walking away. You didnât want thisâyou just wanted to talk about things without screaming.Â
âHey! Get back here, Iâm talking to you!â
âTalk about what, Carmen?â you asked. âYouâre not listening to me. Okay? What is there to talk about?â
âYou let him all over you like that! Took a break just to spend time with him,â he sneered. âAnd-and he looked at you like you were his. You let him kiss you. You let him do things to you and you just fucking accepted it.â
âWhat?â you asked. âLawrence and I grew up like that Thereâs nothing wrong with it,â you tried. You were probably being too defensive, not letting Carmy explain his side but you were hurt when he dismissed you just like that. When he let you go without a kiss. He just looked away when you were pleading with him.Â
âSo, youâd rather defend your old fucking friend instead of trying to fix this bullshit,â Carmen spits. âHeard,â
âWhat?â your heart dropped. âBullshit?â The first tear falls like it was rehearsed. It broke your heart to hear Carmy call you relationship bullshit when youâve spent the best days of your life with him. When you helped him through the nightmaresâŠwhen he took care of you. âBullshit, huh, Carmen?â
You couldnât form a string of coherent sentences. Your mouth was agape, trying to process what he just said. Fix this bullshit. Fix this bullshit. You nod, pursing your lips to stop yourself from crying.Â
Bullshit. It was when you stayed up late to make sure that he slept peacefully, threading your fingers in his golden hair so he could feel your presence. Bullshit. It was when you picked him up from some bar downtown because he decided to drink with Richie. Bullshit. It was when you sacrificed your days-off just so you could spend more time together. Bullshit. It was when he showed up on your first date with flowers that you pressed in between the pages of your favorite book. Bullshit. It was when Carmen told you that he loved you because you made him a burnt grilled cheese sandwich. Bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit. It was ringing in your ear, breaking your heart in a million pieces.Â
âFuck, baby,â Carmen takes it back when you moved to walk towards the door. âIâm sorryâ â
âIs that all it was to you?â you asked. âBullshit? Is that why you dismissed me so coldly earlier? Because itâs bullshit?â Tears are on your face now and you wipe them away. âItâs bullshit, huh?â
âBabyâŠâ
âDonât,â you said. âFuck, youâre soâŠso mean,â you said, crouching on the floor to shield yourself away from him. âIâŠI donât know what I did wrong,â you whispered. âAnd Iâm sorry if my actions hurt you but thatâs how I grew up with Lawrence. I didnât know that I was hurting you but, fuck,â you sobbed. âYouâre so mean to me, Bear.â You didnât mean it as an endearment, and he knew that.
âIâm sorry, baby,â he says, crouching down to your level. âI didnât mean to say that. Iâm so fucking sorry,â he whispers, taking you in his arms. You didnât want to fight back. âIâm sorry for-for doing that. For projecting my insecurities on you. I justâŠhe has life figured out and I could never give you what he could give. Iâm sorry, baby. Iâm so fucking sorry,â
âI donât want him,â you sniffled. âIâm with you, you know? PleaseâŠplease, donât call it bullshit. Because itâs notâŠfor me, at least.â
âItâs not bullshit. Iâm sorry, so fucking sorry for saying that. Iâm so sorry,â he rambles sincerely. âYouâre the best person that Iâve met. I love you. I love you so much that the thought of anyone else loving you drives me mad. Iâm sorry,â
âYou were mean to me,â
âI was, baby. I was,â he said. âI promise to stop myself from being mean. Iâm so sorry. I donât-donât want to lose you. Please-please donât leave me. Please, donât leave.â
âIâm not going to leave you, Carmen.â you cooed, and you felt his arms tighten around you.
âNot that name, please. Iâm just so fucking sorry for saying that and making you feel bad. Iâm sorry.â
âThank you,â you said. âIâm sorry too. I should have been more considerate. I love you so much, Bear.â
âItâs my fault. All my fault,âÂ
âItâs not.â
âCan we-can we go to bed?â he asked, pulling away from you. You nodded. That night, when you were half-asleep, you felt his calloused hand caress your cheek. Youâd never tell him, but you heard him. Loud and clear.
âI love you,â he whispers. âYou donât know how much I love you and Iâm sorry. I love you.â
A/N: No Carmen Berzatto taglist yet! Also, if youâre waiting for the Tommy Shelby fic, you might have a to wait a week more before I release it. I want to release a chapter every week and I havenât written the second chapter for this week yet. Thank you for reading! Donât forget to leave comments and reblogs :)
#carmen berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto fanfiction#carmen berzatto#fanfiction#angst#fluff#the bear#carmy berzatto#carmen berzatto x you#carmen berzatto angst#carment berzatto fluff#carmy berzatto angst#the bear fx#ask
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HI! so I just read the one where they are drunk and doesn't recognise their gf and itis so damn cute
Could you do pierre and yuki??
And perhaps a morning after? Where they finally see where they are and gf saying that was cute??
HE'S DRUNK AND DOESN'T RECOGNIZE YOU.
FEATURING:â â George Russell, Yuki Tsunoda, Oscar Piastri, Pierre Gasly.
OTHER PARTS:â â Part one for context. Part two.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: â â I'll soon make a separate part/post for the morning after. <3 Also, sorry this isn't really good, I wrote it in the middle of the night and I wasn't awake enough, I guess.
àšà§â â â GEORGE RUSSELL
When you had to pick up your boyfriend from the party, you expected anything but for him to be so drunk that he couldnât recognize you. Maybe it was just the bad street lighting, or just too much alcohol in his system, but it was still... well, surprising.
Even though he couldnât recognize you, he was quite calm when his friend told him that you would drive him home.
On the way, though, he suddenly turned serious. "Listen, miss, I donât think itâs right for a woman to drive me home. I have a girlfriend, and I don't think this is right." You canât help but laugh, asking him what his girlfriend would prefer. âI should walk."
It was adorable how, even while excessively drunk, he still thought of you and your feelings. You looked at him through the rearview mirror, smiling. "Oh, actually, sheâs the one who asked me to take you home. Itâs dangerous to leave someone like you wandering around alone."
àšà§â â â YUKI TSUNODA
As you help him into the car, he suddenly stops and looks at you seriously. âYouâre not my girlfriend, youâre a decoy! Sheâs testing me, isnât she? Well, I wonât fall for it!â
You took a deep breath and smiled, trying not to get stressed, even though you were already irritated enough from being woken up in the middle of the night. "Ok, and what would your girlfriend do in this situation?"
âSheâd probably smack me for being dumb enough to trust a stranger. So, no offense, but Iâm keeping my distance,â Yuki said, smiling proudly at his reasoning. His friend swallowed hard, looking at you.
After several minutes of trying to convince him to get in the car before attracting more unwanted attention, he finally gave in and agreed.
As you start driving, he turns to you, dead serious. âListen, Iâll go with you, but thereâs no funny business, got it? Iâm in love with my girlfriend, and nothing you do will change that.â You hummed, trying not to laugh, and he nodded, satisfied. âGood. I just needed to make that clear. Youâre welcome to drop me off, but thatâs it.â
àšà§â â â OSCAR PIASTRI
When you finished talking to the partyâs security and returned to where you left your boyfriend, you found him talking to his friend, who was trying to get him into the car. âI canât do itâŠâ he says stubbornly. âMy girlfriend will have my head.â
His friend sighs, âThatâs your actual girlfriend, dude!â
He looked at you, squinting as if that would help somehow. He shakes his head sadly. âNo way. Sheâs too... perfect to be at a place like this. And she said sheâd stay home."
âAnd how do you plan on getting home, Oscar? Come on, Iâll give you a ride.â You tried to convince him, knowing there was no way to make him recognize who you were, at least not when he was in that state.
He stands up straight, smoothing his clothes. âThank you for the offer, miss, but I canât accept a ride from you. My girlfriend wouldnât approve. Sheâs very particular about who I associate with.â He gives a slight bow, smiling politely. âIâll just walk home, if you donât mind.â He takes one step, wobbles, and nearly falls over.
âSo... Do you want to wait until he falls asleep on the middle of the sidewalk, or do like a quick kidnapping?â His friend asked, watching your boyfriend, who had barely walked a meter and was already leaning against a wall, trying to keep his balance.
àšà§â â â PIERRE GASLY
As you approach him, his friend calls out, "Your ride's here, Pierre." You could see in the poor man's eyes that he was tired of dealing with your boyfriend for the night.
"No way! This is a trap. Some paparazzi paid you, right? You want a scandalous photo of me with another woman! My girlfriend will never believe this." He pointed at the two of you.
You glanced at his friend, who just sighed and walked over, dragging him into the car. Whoever was passing by would probably think it was some kind of kidnapping, but luckily, anyone passing was just as drunk as your boyfriend, if not more.
Pierre tried to struggle, despite not having much energy left for it. You held his hand before he could undo the seatbelt for the fourth time. "Stay quiet, or I'll tell your girlfriend that you drank more than you should have."
#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#george russell#yuki tsunoda#pierre gasly#oscar piastri#oscar x reader#george russell x you#f1 x y/n#f1 x female reader
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day 1: camping and candle
âUgh. Why are we doing this again?â Danny complained as he watched his dad pull supplies out of the GAV.
âWell, your dad and I agreed that everyone has been a little too stressed. What with the ghosts destroying part of the school and your father and I's recent slump.â Maddie absently replied as she began clearing a spot for the fire pit.
âBesides Danno. This gives us the perfect opportunity to try out the new and improved Fenton Anti-ghost Tent.â Jack shouted as he put a glowing box on the ground and pressed a button on the side that caused it to fold out into what could only be described as a family-size carnival tent.
âHay Jazz?â
âYa Danny?â
âPlease tell me you packed the actual tent.â
âYes. I even managed to buy a box of MREs in case Mom and Dad brought contaminated food again.â
âA week of MREs. Yay. Well, we might as well get our side of camp set up 'cause I am not sleeping in that.â
đ»đŠđ»đŠ
âCome hi everyone this is going to be fun. Think about it! Tents, roasted marshmallows, campfire stories. This will be awesome.â Dick said as he jumped out of the van and started unloading camping supplies.
âThis is a survival training exercise, Richard. Not a family bonding trip.â Damian said as he looked at the single-family size tent that Dick had packed.
âFor once I agree with Damien. This is not what I would consider âfunâ or âawesomeâ.â Tim said as he set up his laptop to finish his report for the next WE project that is due next week.
âI just want to know how the hell I got roped into this.â Jason grumbled as he started picking up stones for a campfire ring.
âCome on guys. This is as close to family vacation as we have been able to get in, like, ever. Let's make the most of it and have some fun.â Dick pleaded with them. âYou agree with me, right Duke?â
âI mean. Except for you and Damien, we're all city kids. But I guess it could be fun.â Duke hurriedly added on as he saw Dick start to pout. âYeah, yeah. Well, I ain't setting this up myself. Duke help me with these rocks. Tim helped Dick set up the stupid tent. And Damien you got the most experience in survival training. I need you to go through and scout the area and pick up wood for this fire.â Jason said while ignoring Dick's happy dance at his family getting along and helping each other.
đŠđ»đŠđ»
âCome on Danno! How can you protect yourself from ghosts if you don't put on the Anti-ecto Spray?â Jack asked as he followed Danny as he gathered wood for the fire.
âWe're in the middle of the forest, Dad. All we have to worry about out here is bugs and bears. And we have a spray for both already.â Danny argued.
âHe's right Dad. Besides you have that Ecto Shield that will be covering the camp once everything is set up for the night.â Jazz said, watching as her dad pouted and walked over to their mom.
âMadds? You'll put on the Anti-ecto Spray won't you?â
âI'm sorry dear. But you know that stuff causes my skin to rash. I think I might be allergic to something we used in it.â Maddie said as she pulled out a dutch oven and some baking supplies. âHere honey, why don't you go and make some fudge? I know how much you like your campfire fudge.â
âCampfire fudge is pretty good. But we're going to need more firewood if we're going to bake.â
âI got it Dad.â Danny said, taking off into the woods in a desperate attempt to get away from all the anti-ghost stuff.
âThat's my Danny Boy! Always eager to help out. Make sure you get some good size logs too!â
âIâll go with him. For the buddy system.â Jazz said as she began to walk in the direction Danny had run off in.
đ»đŠđ»đŠ
âTt.â
âDon't Tt me. A dutch oven is an essential if you are going camping.â Jason said as he checked to see if the water was boiling before moving the pot back over the fire so that the water in it could stay hot.
âIt is cumbersome and will weigh us down if we must move quickly through the woods.â Damian huffed.
âWell, it's a good thing we aren't going to need to move quickly through the woods. Now here's a knife and some potatoes. They've already been washed so now they just need cut up.â
âAnd what makes you think I will help you cook?â
âFor the same reason that Tim is cutting up veggies and Duke is cutting the vegan turkey sausage. If you want to eat. You need to help.â
âRichard is not helping.â
âRichard would burn the forest down if we let him do anything more than roast marshmallows.â
âHay! I'm not that bad.â Dick whined from where he was still struggling with the tent.
âAugust 26th, 2010.â Tim deadpanned as he put the veggies into the oven.
âOkay. That's not fair Tim.â
âUm. What happened in 2010?â Duke asked before they were interrupted my a loud explosion to the east of them.
âPut a pin in that Glowstick. I think we should check that out.â Jason said as he put the lid on the pot and moved it away from the fire before Tim quickly grabbed the bucket of dirt they had and smothered the fire with it before taking off towards the sound.
đŠđ»đŠđ»
âWhat the hell was that!â Danny yelled as he dropped the sticks he was carrying and ran back towards camp.
âI donât know! Just run!â Jazz shouted back as she pulled out her collapsible creep stick and tossed Danny the laser lipstick.
By the time they broke through the brush, they saw the camp in chaos. The new tent was trying/failing to eat Jack and Maddie was fighting the ecto lights.
âI kinda want to let them suffer.â Danny said as he deactivated the lipstick. Only to sigh as a group of four men ran into the clearing and began to try and help.
âI donât think thatâs an option anymore.â Jazz commented as she watched the human tank shoulder-check their dad to get him out of the way while a tall slender man expertly climbed the poles of the tent to get to the power switch that was at the top of the tent for some reason.
âI donât know Jazz. They seem like they're doing a good job.â Danny replied as the shortest and skinnyest of the group tried to help Maddy with the lights.
âIâll get the lights. You get the tent.â Jazz sighed before taking off and using the creep stick to tangle the lights and yank them out of the portable ecto-battery that their parents brought with them. Danny in the meantime ran to the GAV and climbed on top to give him a clear shot at the off button seeing as the tent was moving too much to climb. One clean shot and the tent folded in on itself, back into the box it was that morning.
âDanno! Jazzypants! Good job!â Jack shouted as he scooped both kids into a hug.
âAnd thank you to you four as well. Itâs clear you have had training but you should really leave the ecto fighting to the professionals.â Maddy addressed the young men who had come over to make sure everyone was okay.
âEcto fighting? Lady I donât knowâ The tank asked as he crossed his arms.
âWhat my brother means to say!â The one who tried to climb the tent interrupted. âIs that weâre from Gotham so are kinda used to having to fight. Iâm Dick by the way. This is my brother Jason. Tim is the one who is currently investigating the tent box? And Duke is standing next to him. And last but not least this is Damian!â
âWell, itâs nice to meet you all! Iâm Jack! Thatâs my lovely wife Maddie, and these are our kids! Jazz and Danny!â
âYou were quite adept with your baseball bat. Have you ever thought about training with a bo staff?â Damian asked Jazz.
âItâs actually what I was originally trained in when Mom was training me how to fight.â Jazz said while straightening her hair once Jack put her and Danny down.
âIf you want honeybun I can make you a new bo staff when we get home. It would offer more maneuverability during a ghost fight.â
âGhost fight?â Tim asked as he and Duke walked over to the little family.
âYa! Me and Madds here are ectobiologists!â Jack excitedly said before Jazz took the wind out of his sail.
âIt doesnât really matter what we are right now. The FAT completely wrecked the camp. The GAV and the MREs are okay but weâll probably have to move camp or go home.â
âI saw an old cabin to the west of us with some candles and stuff not far from here when I got the first batch of firewood. We could stay there and leave some of our supplies in exchange for anything we use.â Danny chipped in.
âHay! I think we passed that on the way here! Maybe we can all camp together! Safety in numbers you know?â Dick suggested as he bounced on his toes.
âThatâs a great idea! How about you boys gather your camp and meet us there!â Jack cheered before he ran off to pack the GAV back up.
âDanny dear. Can you go with them and mark a trail to the cabin for us? Hereâs some orange ribbon to tie to the trees.â Maddy said before ushering Jazz off so that Danny could âhang out with boys his age.â
âSo,â Danny said as he started down the trail. âGotham huh?â
âYup. Where are you from?â Dick asked.
âAmity Park.â
âThe most haunted place in the world?â Tim asked as he pulled out his phone and began typing.
âSounds interesting.â Duke said only for Danny to through his head back and groan loudly causing the siblings to look at each other.
âYes, it's haunted. No, I would not recommend going. The government already has itâs nose in it. And even though my parents didnât recognize a group of Wayens doesnât mean I didnât. We do not need that kind of publicity.â
âFair enough.â Jason shrugged while leaning over to look at Timâs phone.
âLetâs just get this done.â Danny grumbled trying to walk ahead of the group.
âWeâre totally going to investigate this arenât we.â Duke whispered when Danny was far enough ahead.
âTt. Obviously Thomas.â
~~~~~
An hour late but I think I did it. Hope everyone enjoyed it!
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WING IT
A/N: we are slowly getting more content, lets just hope something drops soon!
WORD COUNT: 3k
SUMMARY:Â It's your first day working in Selma's Home, you're nervous enough already, but when an emergency calls your boss away and you're left alone, the situation is topped when famous CEO Harry Styles casually strolls in.
MASTERLISTÂ |Â SUPPORT ME!
It doesnât matter that this job is just an in-between. Something that earns you money until your dream position opens. A first day is always stressful, especially when you have no idea what to do.
You were applying to dozens of jobs at once, just shooting everywhere you could, hoping to get an answer back before your rent was due. Selmaâs Home was the first one to invite you for an interview and somehow, miraculously you even got the job despite the fact that you have no experience in retail. You suspect that desperation was a big factor in your hiring, because Selma lost 2 of her employees at once when the young couple that was working for her moved across the country.Â
Now here you are, walking into the store, nervously fidgeting with your fingers as you head down the aisles where you see Selma behind the cash register already getting ready to open.
âHi!â you greet her, her head snapping up at your weak voice. Selma is such a fierce, kind of intimidating woman, but you can see how it helped her to open this store and make it one of the most successful home decor stores in the city, offering tasteful stylish pieces along with practical utility items for oneâs home.Â
âOh, hi! Welcome to your first day, you ready?â She even cracks a smile, but somehow it just makes you gulp hard.
âYeah, readier than ever!â you manage to squeeze out a nervous chuckle, hoping she doesnât sense your jitters.
âAlright, then letâs get started.â
With an hour until opening Selma is eager to squeeze in as much information into it as possible. She walks you through the store, talking about the most important items, but also handing you a handbook about everything thatâs currently selling in the store.
âUse your downtime to roam around and youâll learn them by the end of the week without the handbook,â she says, eyes running over the shelves as she is talking, already moving to the storage room in the back.Â
She talks about the system, how to unload the new arrivals every two weeks and then you move on to the cash register, aka your biggest fear. Itâs quite the stress factor to deal with money, making sure everything is neat and correct, you can only hope you wonât mess it all up.
Then the store opens and you follow around Selma to learn the ropes. Whatâs different here is that whenever a customer comes in you offer them help right away and if needed, you assist them throughout their whole time shopping. There are quite some designer products selling and youâll need to know everything about them to be able to sell them to the customers just like Selma does.
She is so good at it. No matter who comes in, she so effortlessly talks them into leaving with not only what they came for, but some more as well. She is enchanting, nice, open and warm and you just keep taking notes mentally, though you donât feel confident enough to be as charming as she can be the moment the bell rings above the door.Â
When lunch rolls around you allow yourself to feel relieved for a second that you survived half the day already. Selma sends you to the back to have your lunch and you just sit in silence, staring ahead of you, mustering up all your energy for the rest of the workday. Youâve just finished your sandwich when Selma barges into the breakroom.
âY/N, thereâs a bit of an emergency.â
You jump to your feet, scenarios already running through your mind. Is there a fire? Did the storefront just collapse? Someone stole those hella expensive Japanese tablecloths?Â
âWhat happened?â
âMy daughter, she is ugh! Such a menace, she got into trouble at school, so I have to go there. I need you to cover for a bit, just an hour tops, I swear!âÂ
She is already grabbing her purse, pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head, car keys in hand while you just stand there dumbfounded. Is she actually gonna leave you alone in the store on your first day?
âSelma, I-I donâtâŠâ
âYou do, Honey. Just an hour. This is a dead time anyway, if anyone comes in, just try your best to help them and ring them up at the end. Easy, I know you can do it!â
She is storming out and you follow her like a lost puppy.
âB-But what if I mess something up?â you ask, panic setting in.Â
âAs long as you donât set the store on fire, youâll be fine. I trust you, Y/N!â
And with that, she is already gone, the bell rings above the door as you stand there like a statue.Â
You watch the storefront in pure panic, your stomach dropping every time it seems like someone is approaching the shop, but no one comes in.Â
Until the bell rings above the door.Â
For a split second you hope itâs Selma, but looking up you see a tall, broad figure and your heart threatens to burst right out of your anxiety filled chest, at first because hello! Itâs a customer! But then as he steps further into the shop and takes off his sunglasses, realization settles in.Â
This is not just a regular customer, this is Harry Fucking Styles, CEO of Pleasing Productions, the studio thatâs given the world the absolute best romantic movies in the past decades and the man is famously known for being a ladies favorite, but appearing as a total mystery in the media.Â
Youâve read about him a lot before, itâs hard not to bump into his name online, thanks to his looks he is always somehow in talk for either having dinner with a model, appearing on the red carpet looking like a fucking snack, or, your personaly favorite, declining giving an answer to a question regarding his private life.Â
And now he is standing there, looking around the store.Â
It takes a couple of moments for you to push out of this frozen state and finally step forward.
âHello!â
Wow. Did your voice actually sound like that?
Clearing your throat you keep moving towards him.
âHi, can I help you with anything?â
You try to rake your mind to remember everything youâve seen and heard from Selma to use now, but the moment he looks up, your mind goes blank. He is just as beautiful as he looks in pictures or maybe even more. Unlike on those red carpet photos where he is always dressed in designer suits, now he is wearing a pair of simple pants and a gray long sleeve, his hair is a bit tousled and it appears he is growing his beard out, a bit shaggy, but he makes it look very⊠hot. Thatâs all you can say looking at him.
âOh, hey!â He is sporting a polite smile as he looks up, about to keep talking, but he stops for a moment upon looking at you and he stops.
Everything stops.Â
Itâs as if he is taking you in, you can feel your cheeks heating up, the nervous fidgeting starts again, but you hide your hands behind your back so he doesnât notice.Â
âIâm looking for some kitchen stuff,â he then says, hiding his hands in his pockets.Â
âGreat!â you breathe out. âWe do have⊠those.â
You flinch internally, but ignore just how awkward you are in his presence.Â
You ask him about what he needs specifically as the two of you start walking down the isles and for a moment you think of grabbing the handbook, but that would look awful, so you make a decision on the spot.
Youâre gonna just wing it.Â
What could go wrong? Youâll just pretend like youâre Selma, confident and know everything about the items, youâre gonna say whatever comes to your mind and just⊠wing it.Â
All while ignoring how attractive this man is up close. And intimidating. And charming. AndâŠ
âI think I want to check out the coffee stuff first,â he suggests and nodding you walk him over to the kitchen items.
âDo you have a coffee machine and youâre looking for some accessories, orâŠâ
âI just got one of those old fashioned moka coffee pots,â he says with a boyish smile. âBut I want to get that to the next level, if you know what I mean.â You do not.
âOf course,â you smile, eyes scanning over the shelves.Â
Your grandmother has one of those old moka coffee makers, but you have absolutely no idea what else could be used for those, so you just start grabbing things and making up what they are used for.Â
One after the other, you just keep showing him stuff with no idea what youâre talking about, but the longer youâre talking the more confident youâre growing, especially when he just keeps nodding and humming along to anything you say.Â
âSo⊠which one are you more interested in?â you ask at the end of your little speech. You look at him and find him already looking at you with a tiny smile curling up the corners of his mouth.Â
âWhat can you tell me about those?â he asks, ignoring your question and just moving to another shelf.Â
He keeps asking about items and you just make up everything as you go. Of course, you know some of the stuff, but you were never really a true chef in the kitchen, so there are way too many items you donât know that much, but somehow, youâve gathered enough confidence that even you believe what you say.Â
Slowly, Harry fills his basket as you move through the store and every time you look at him you catch him already looking at you with the same smile you canât quite decipher.Â
âWhat about those?â he points up at a set of plates on the top shelf.
âOh, those are so pretty! Let me show you them!â you enthuse and run to grab the ladder from the back.Â
Itâs not the steadiest tool for sure, but you ignore the wobble you feel when you start climbing it.
âAre you sure itâsââ
âItâs fine, donât worry,â you chuckle, reaching the top step, but your knees are definitely shaking. You focus on grabbing the plates and getting off as fast as possible, but right when you take them off the shelf you already feel yourself losing balance.Â
But Harry is quick to come to your rescue. One of his hands grabs the ladder to steady it and the other⊠the other one grabs the back of your thigh to help you hold yourself up. Until then you were shaking because of the ladder, but now itâs definitely because of his firm hold on you, the warmth of his touch and the thoughts that unrelease when you realize just how perfectly his fingers are digging into your flesh.Â
âYou good?â he asks in a deep, husky voice.Â
âYeah.â Your voice is barely more than just a whisper as you hold onto the plates as if they could hold you up.Â
You start moving down on the ladder, but Harryâs hand doesnât leave your body, it works up on your hips and waist, grabbing onto your elbow as you finally step onto the ground and even then, he is still touching you, his eyes locked on yours as youâre still holding those damn plates. The image of dropping them and pushing up against him flashes through your mind and your knees wobble again when you catch his gaze flickering down to your lips for a second.Â
âThe plates,â you blurt out then. He looks down and a smile stretches across his face.
âThey really are pretty.â
âRight?â you let out a breathy laugh.Â
âNow that you risked your life for them, I guess itâs only fair if I actually buy them.â
Fuck, your heart is about to jump right out of your chest, how is he so smooth?
You gather a few more things and then move to the cash register to ring everything up.Â
âHow long have you been working here?â he asks, patiently waiting for you to finish.Â
âUm⊠Do you want the truth?â you ask, with a cheeky smile.
âYeah.â
âThis is my first day,â you admit, just as you finish the scanning and when you look at the amount it all added up to, you almost choke on your own saliva. âUm, your total is 1630.â
For a moment you think heâll question how itâs so much, but without hesitation he whips out his card and taps it on the terminal.
âFirst day, huh?â
âYou wouldnât have guessed?â
âOh, I kind of did,â he chuckles and he starts to help you with putting everything away in bags. âYou really should learn what the items are used for.â
Normally youâd be embarrassed that he noticed how much you just made up, but the smile he is gifting you with vanishes all negative feelings and you can actually find it funny.Â
âI will.â
âThank you for your assistance,â he smirks, grabbing the bags from the counter. âAnd if I happen to leave a review about the excellent service, what name should I drop?âÂ
âIâm Y/N,â you say with a sheepish smile. He then sticks his hand out and you take it.
âHarry. It was really nice meeting you.â
âYou too.â
With a final wave he turns around, slides his sunglasses back to the bridge of his nose and then walks out of the store. You stand there completely overwhelmed by the experience and you have no idea how much time passes by before Selma barges through the door.
âHi Darling! How did everything go?â she beams, walking up to the counter where youâre still standing.Â
âGreat!â
âDid anyone come in?âÂ
âYeah. Harry Styles was just here.â Selma freezes for a moment before looking up at you.
âHarry Styles? As inâŠâ
âYeah. That Harry Styles.â
âHow did it go? Did he buy anything?â
âHe spent 1600 dollars on kitchen stuff.â
âY/N, thatâs great!â Selma claps her hands. âWas he satisfied? Could you help him?â
âI think I could,â you say with a knowing smile. âHe seemed⊠satisfied, yeah.â
The first day jitters are luckily gone by the next day, especially because Selma looked at you with so much pride after you told her about your encounter with Harry that you feel like you canât do anything wrong.Â
Before lunch Selma asks you to rearrange some stuff in the storage and youâre a bit relieved you donât have to take any customers for now.
But because of that, youâre not out when one specific person walks into the shop. Again.Â
Harry enters the store confidently, a smile already on his lips as he looks in the direction of the cash register, but it fades when he only sees Selma, but no sight of you. Selma, on the other hand, becomes ecstatic when she sees and recognizes him.
âWelcome! How may I help you?â she chirps, walking towards Harry, who is still looking around, eyes searching for you.Â
âHey, is the⊠Is the woman who worked yesterday here? Y/N?â Selma stops, surprised.
âY/N? Uh, yes, but she is busy now, Iâm sure I can help youââ
âI want her,â he states.
âShe is still training, Iâm sure I canââ
âLook,â Harry sighs. âWhatâs your name?â
âIâm Selma, the owner,â she states proudly.
âSelma, Iâm more than happy to buy everything in this store if it means I get to talk to her. How does that sound?â
Selma stares back at him, finally understanding the situation. Her stance changes instantly.
âLet me go get her for you.â
Youâre going over your list in the back when Selma appears, her spotless appearance feels odd in the storage roomâs setting.Â
âOh, hey! I just finished withââ
âI need you outside.â
âWhat? Why?â Panic washes over you, because you canât read her face and what could she possibly need you for outside on your second day?
âJust come. Now!â She turns around and heads out, not even checking if youâre following her. Of course you do.
âSelma, what did Iââ you start mumbling behind her, but just when you step out and spot Harry at the cash register.
His face lights up the moment he sees you and those damn butterflies start raging in your stomach.Â
âHarry, youâre here. Again,â you state the obvious.Â
âI am,â he chuckles and you see Selma walk away from the corner of your eyes.Â
âHow, umâWhat can I⊠help you with?â you ask, clearing your throat. Why is he here? Could it be⊠because of you? Yesterday you definitely spent an awful lot of time daydreaming of the way he was touching you on that ladder and youâd be lying if you said you felt disappointed he just walked out, knowing you might never see him again.Â
Well, so much for that.
âI forgot to get something yesterday.âÂ
âOh,â is all you can say, the disappointment snaking back into your gut. He is not here because of you, how could you even think about that?
Harryâs smile widens as he watches your face drop and then he finally continues.
âYour number.â
Your eyes widen and you must look quite funny, because Harry chuckles at the sight of your expression.Â
âWas this too straight forward?â
âNo!â you snap right away, maybe a bit too eagerly. âNot at all.â
âGreat, thenâŠâ
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it over, you type your number in quickly and hand it over. He taps on the screen and a second later your phone starts buzzing in your back pocket.
âJust checking you didnât give me a pizzeriaâs number,â he jokes, making you laugh. âAnd⊠now that Iâm conveniently here, maybe you can show me some more stuff.â
âWhat do you need?â you ask as the two of you head down one of the aisles.Â
âHmm, how long is your shift?â
âUm, another four hours,â you scoff.
âThen I guess Iâm interested in everything. Whatever takes four hours to look at so I can take you out once youâre done.â
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