#I need to get back into art kinda took a longer break than i wanted toooooo

[the-minster]

Just some jaybin doodles

[aphroditeinthesea]

can i please request a percy jackson x reader where the reader is a daughter of aphrodite to the song i can do it with a broken heart by taylor swift

“ i can do it with a broken heart ”

percy jackson x daughter of aphrodite 🌊

⚠️ percy is an ass to the reader but that’s kinda a given + percabeth inclusion woop woop

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

i can read ur mind

she’s having the time of her life

there in her glittering prime the lights reflect

sequin stars off her silhouette every night

i can show you lies

“I’m so happy you're finally getting over him,” her sister smiled, hand on her back.

She forced a grin as she continued to sing along to the campfire song. She nodded and waited for her sister to turn her attention away. When she finally saw the girl from the corner of her eye turn towards her boyfriend.

Y/N looked down to the grass. If she looked up she knew what she would see. Just the thought was nauseating. The boy who she claimed to all her friends she would marry, who she already had best laid plans to move to New Rome with and go to college together.

Everything that came to a crumble when he decided he did want those things. Just with his best friend instead.

She watched from across the way how his arm was wrapped around the blonde. They weren't even talking, just looking into each other’s eyes. It was as though they were having an entire conversation without saying anything. She recalled how when she first started going out with Percy and her friends tried to warn her. Everyone knew that the two were soulmates, except for three people.

She wondered if on some level she always knew, too. Maybe she was just denying it to stay with him for just a little bit longer. Even if she screamed all night the day she he broke up with her.

If you were ever so inclined to wonder what really truly happened, here’s the deal:

It was like any other Friday. Perseus Jackson waltzed into her cabin, head low almost as though he cared. He told her he wanted to talk to her privately in cabin three. Her heart sank. She knew. She just knew.

Soon enough, while she sat on his bed and he stood in front of her, he spoke in his softest voice.

“We need to break up.”

She felt her head get dizzy while she looked up at him, “what?”

“I’m so sorry,” he sat next to her, “I hate having to do this to you.”

“Why?” was all she could say.

His eyebrows creased, while tears welled up in his sea green eyes. She felt like she was looking into one of the clear seas of Greece. “I dont feel about you the way that I should.”

She sighed, “Annabeth.” Although because of the weakness in her voice, all that came out was, “Eth.”

He understood her. Slowly nodding, he began once again, “I realized I feel more about her than I should,” he took a breath, “but I wouldn't do anything before ending this with you. I couldn't hurt you like that.”

That damn loyalty of his.

“I get it.”

i’m a real tough kid

i can handle my shit

they said “babe, you gotta fake it til you make it”

and i did

The next morning, it was like it never happened. Afterall, a girl’s gotta have a reputation to upkeep. Everyone’s favorite daughter of Aphrodite. Who could hate a girl so bubbly and peppy and outgoing and happy and has never once had a bad hair day?

Everyone tried to get her to talk about it, but the only thing she said was “I’m helping at arts and crafts today, tee-tee-why-ell!”

With a smile on her face and the taste of vomit on her lips, she pranced around helping campers make vases and false confidence.

“You need to guide your hands up more, like this-”

“Y/N.”

She looked up to lock eyes with the daughter of Athena. “Annabeth.”

“I really wanted to talk to you.”

She flashed her blinding smile and raised eyebrows, “I would love to talk, but I’m right now,” even though her blood boiled at the sight of the blonde curls, “see you later, though.”

“I’m staying.”

“Oh!” She squeaked, “grab a seat.”

lights, camera, bitch smile

even when you wanna die

he said he’s love me all his life

but that life was too short

As soon as y/n was alone she broke down, hitting the floor. She felt all the pieces of her shatter. She had spent hours grinning like a winner before she finally crashed.

She let out every emotion she had felt that day. The anger, the sadness, the betrayal, the heartbreak, all of it. She let out a scream for every glance she shared with either Percy or Annabeth.

But just before dinner, she dolled up her makeup and curled her hair to perfection. Then brushed it out. Then straightened it.

She knew she was overthinking it, but how damn stupid would she look walking out to dinner with hair that mirrored the girl she was just left for? Of course, the meal went as it always would. Her cracking jokes with her siblings, giving out advice that not a soul asked for, all was normal except for the table across the way.

The Poseidon table, which was currently being shared by a certain blonde. This had to be a joke. She watched their conversation flow so easily. The laughs, the smiles, whispers, before Annabeth snuck back off to her own table.

She thought to herself that maybe she should have done that. I mean, if little miss perfect could bend the rules a little, why couldn't she? Maybe that’s why he left?

Over the next few weeks, she tried to block out everything about him. Maybe it was just a dream. But occasionally she’d find something of his in a drawer. Crucial evidence she didn't just imagine the whole thing.

She was sure she could pass this test. The test being the ability to not spend her days crying. And although she did cry a whole lot, she was so damn productive. It was honestly an art. She knew for the rest of her life that this time really proved how good she was at faking. You know? ‘Cause she’s miserable and nobody even knows.

Try and come for her job.

[aticklishpercivalwriter]

Understanding Feelings

Tickletober 2024 - Day 3: Cleaning

For Artists Who See Their Art on My Fics Link(s) to Art: Kinich (@ToffyNarufy); Kazuha (@Genshin_7)

Summary: Kinich is jealous he can’t spend as much time with Aether compared to a certain Adeptus. Kazuha talks to him about it.

A/N: This took way longer than I wanted it to. I wasn’t sure how to describe everyone’s feelings in the poly ship and make it flow, but I made it work out in the end…to my liking at least. It isn’t easy writing with so many characters and considering how they love one another but I hope it comes off clear and to your liking. If you have any suggestions on how to write poly ships and all that, let me know. Even though it is self-indulgent, I want to do it right. On another note, hopefully, I did these two justice since I haven’t seen much fan work of them. Kinda nervous when you write a ship that’s not established or recognized in the fandom. Nonetheless, hope you enjoy this one :)

Word Count: 1656 Also on AO3!

—

“Well, that’s not edible.”

Kazuha, Sethos, and Kinich stared at the smoking pan that held what was supposed to be the pumpkin pie but was now a scorched, black waste.

“And more like a pile of garbage.”

Sethos and Kazuha eyed Kinich with an amused look.

“You're starting to sound like Ajaw. Are you sure he hasn't taken over your body?”

“I'm myself, don’t worry.”

Sethos went to open the window to get rid of the residual smoke while Kinich threw the contents of the pan in the trash.

“I’ll get the ingredients and stuff to bake a new one,” Sethos says. “You both can clean the kitchen.”

Before either of them could say anything, Sethos was out of the house.

“He's just like Gaming, always ready to help out,” Kazuha chuckled.

He looked over in the dining room and saw Gaming and Heizou hanging up the decorations. Heizou sitting on his shoulders putting up the decorations.

Gahahaming! Dohohon't squeeze my thihighs lihihike thahahat! I’ll fahahahall!

I’ll stop once you finish, so just work faster~

“Kaz, we got cleaning to do,” Kinich called out to him.

“Oh, right.”

Kinich was already running the water at the sink and soaping the dishes and utensils that were already inside.

“Can you grab whatever is left on the counter and put them here?” Kinich called over his shoulder.

Kazuha hummed in response, gathering the stuff that needed to be washed and placing them beside Kinich.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Kazuha took whatever was dry from the drying rack and put them away before returning and wrapping his arms around Kinich’s waist and setting his chin on his shoulder, placing a kiss on his neck before humming a tune.

Kinich maintained his composure at the sudden affection and ticklish feeling that was starting to spread across his neck. Goosebumps rose on his neck and a smile he couldn't hold back appeared on his face. Unbeknownst to Kinich, Kazuha caught sight of it from the reflection on the window and grinned.

“What is that tune you're humming?” Kinich asks him, after a few moments of tranquility.

“Since fall is here and there are leaves around, it's my specialty to come up with something to accompany them and it's this.”

“Elegant as always, aren't you?”

“It all comes naturally to me.”

Another peaceful silence hangs over them before Kazuha breaks it with a question.

“How do you like it? Being with us I mean.”

“It's nice,” Kinich answers, turning off the water and thinking. “I never thought that loving Aether would bring me to meet you and everyone else. Though…”

An expression quickly flashes across his face, too fast for Kazuha to make out what it is.

“Though what?”

“Is Xiao usually by Aether's side all the time?”

Kazuha raises his eyebrows in surprise.

“Now that you mention it, he usually is. Aether and Xiao have been through a lot together and he has softened up as Aether became the shining light in his heart. Xiao promised him that he should call out his name if he needs anything and he will appear right by his side no matter what.”

“Oh.”

Kinich felt a tug at his heart as he remembered what he told Aether before.

“For you, I'll do anything, Aether.”

He clasped his hands in his before leaning forward and letting their lips connect into a passionate kiss.

Kazuha eyed the troubled look in his eyes, now understanding. Jealousy. He's seen it many times and has felt it too when he wanted to be with Aether and seeing him with one of their lovers (he loves his other lovers, don't get him wrong), he can't help feeling jealous in wanting Aether all to himself for some private time. He knows how it feels.

But he couldn't help but tease him a bit, a smirk making its way on his face as he nibbled his ears making him let out a surprised yelp and out of his thoughts.

“Is the great, ‘Malipo’ Kinich jealous?” he teasingly whispers.

Kinich gasps before turning and trying to glare at him, willing the smile on his face away.

“I'm not jealous.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I'm- AHAHAHAHA!”

Kinich threw his head back in surprised laughter when Kazuha blew a raspberry on his neck.

“What was that? I couldn't hear you over your laughter~” Kazuha blew another one, stealing a kiss from his lips too.

“MmphehaHAHaHA! Ihihi tohohold youhuhu I'm nohohot jehehealous! LEhehet gohoho!”

“I don't believe you. It's okay to say you're jealous y'know.”

“I'm nohohot jealous of ahahany-! Wait! WahAHAIT! Kahahazuhuhu! Dohohon't gohoho thehehere!” he panicked, feeling Kazuha's fingers starting to crawl up to his upper sides and ribs.

“Hmm?” Kazuha hummed innocently as his hands continued to slowly travel upwards.

“K-Kahazuhaha! Plehehease! Dohohon't dohoho ihihit!”

Kazuha never heard Kinich be so frantic before as he desperately tried to tug at his wrists and shake him off.

“Do you want me to stop?” Kazuha asks, slowing down with concern laced in his voice.

Kinich just looks away in response as the last of his giggles fade.

“Kinich? Was it too much? I’m sorry. I-”

“No, it’s fine I…”

Kazuha looks at his face and beyond the red hue from laughing, he sees a subtle blush dusting his face and the tips of his ears.

“It’s just I’m too…t-ticklish…”

A silence settles upon them and the longer it stretches his blush intensifies.

“K-KazuHAHAHAHA?!”

Kinich squeals as he feels fingers dart upwards and pinch his upper ribs and massage his sides, crumbling between the sink and his boyfriend.

“Is the great, ‘Malipo’ Kinich jealous and extremely ticklish?”

“NAHAHAHAT THEHEHERE! KAHAHAHAZ!”

He hides his laughing face in his hands as he leans on the edge of the sink for support.

“Oh Kimchi~ You are adorable~”

“IHIHI’M NOHOHOT A PIEHEHECE OF FOHOHOOD! AHAHAHAHA! OHOHOR ADORABLEHEHEHE!”

“I think otherwise, Kinichi~”

Kazuha starts nibbling his neck and makes nom nom noises along with kneading his ribs and sides.

“Om-nom-nom, so tasty~”

Kinich loses it, shaking his head to try and throw him off

“GAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHOHO MOREHEHEHE KAHAHAZUHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA!”

“Just say the words, Kin~”

“OKAY! OKAHAHAHAY! I’M JEALOUS OF XIAHAHAHAO! I SAHAHAID IHIHIT! PLEHEHEHASE! STAHAHAHAP! KAHAHAZ!”

Kinich slides down to the floor in exhaustion as Kazuha lets him, thinking it's over before gasping and letting out an undignified whine when he feels him straddling him. Kazuha took in his form, flushed face with tears of mirth threatening to fall. Giggles slipping out of him unrestrained as he weakly tries to push him off.

Archons, he's adorable looking like this.

He starts tickling him again, rubbing deep circles on his worst spot and Kinich howls in laughter and thrashes as much as he is allowed to.

“BWAHAHAHAHA! KAHAHAZUHUHU! IHIHIHIT’S TOHOHOHOO MUCH! NAHAHAHAHA!”

“Tell me you are adorable, and I'll finally stop.”

“NOHOHO WAHAHAY! I'M NOHOHOT SAHAHAYING THAHAT!”

“I’ll say it for you then,” he gets close to his ear, not slowing down the tickling. “You're so cute laughing like this, Kinichi~ Your beautiful laughter is music to my ears.”

Kinich is beyond flustered and swears he feels more ticklish as Kazuha continues to compliment him.

“WAHAHAHAIT! DOHOHON'T SAHAHAY THOHOHOSE THIHIHINGS!”

“Look at that blushing face. You like this huh? You're an adorable, ticklish one aren't you~”

“KAHAHAZHUHUHAHAHA! STAHAHAP IHIHIT! FIHIHINE! I'M ADORAHAHAHABLE! I'M ADORABLEHEHE! PLEHEHEASE! MEHEHERCY!”

Kazuha slowed down, nibbling his ears affectionately before kissing him and taking his breath away.

“Wasn’t that hard, was it?”

“Whahahatehever. You're cruel, you know thahat?”

Kazuha laughs, carrying him up and setting him on a chair by the counter, and grabbing two cups of water before sitting beside him.

“Back to what we were talking about before,” he says like he didn't tickle him to death a moment ago.

Kinich snorted, taking a sip from his cup.

“What?”

“You almost killed me with tickles, and you talk as if it was nothing. Ajaw would’ve been proud of you if you actually killed me through such means.”

“Oh, come on. You know I wouldn't kill you. Besides, you looked like you were enjoying yourself~”

Kinich blushed, hiding behind his cup.

“Can you stop teasing me?”

Kazuha chuckles.

“Okay. Okay. I'll stop. What I was about to say is that it's okay to be jealous.”

Kinich looks at him over his cup in surprise.

“Why do you say that?” he asks, setting down his cup.

“Believe it or not, I get jealous too. And the others too. We all want to be with Aether and spend alone time with him.”

“Oh. I never thought that you all would be jealous. I thought it was just me.”

“You’re not alone. We all want a piece of our small ball of sunshine, but we respect each other’s desires and who we want to be with. For example, if I’m not with Aether, I’m with Heizou, Scara, you, or one of the others. It’s really all about sharing each other with one another.”

“I see.”

“Yeah. Don’t stress about it. Besides, Aether somehow always makes time for each one of us and we all love him for that.”

“…Thank you, Kaz.”

“Who’s ready to make pumpkin pie? Take two this time.”

Sethos strides in with all the ingredients and necessary cookware with a grin on his face as he sets them on the counter in front of them.

“Right on time, Seth,” Kazuha says, rising from his chair and then looking at Kinich he says, “We all love you, Kin. Especially Aether, don’t forget that.”

He then moves close to his ear, whispering, “And how can we not love your adorable blush and cute laugh~”

Kinich looks away as another blush starts taking over his face.

“S-Shut up.”

“What did you say to him, Kazuha? His face is like a tomato. It’s pretty cute.”

“Ugh,” Kinich groans, covering his face in his hands making them both laugh.

“Okay, that’s enough teasing for now. Let’s bake that pie now, shall we?”

“Yup!”

“Mhm.”

—

Thank you for reading! :) -Perz ~Risus Amoris~

[the-fiction-witch]

Battle Scars

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Sweet + Fluffy

Requested: literally, anything hurt/comfort or angst with a happy ending preferably Jack or newt but love your dnd au too Thank you love your writing ❤ Hello, could I request a Jack Dawkins x reader where maybe the reader gets in a fight or something over Jack and after he patches her up afterwards he is at first angry but after she tells him why she got into the fight he hold her close and it's fluffy and cute!

I stood, as usual, doing my work at the cat and bagpipes, men in the pub going about their business drinking, gambling, fighting and doing other such... manly things. Many of the girls I worked with were busy as they often were on Friday nights but I wasn't on that shift tonight, Instead, I was just serving and carting drinks around for My boss Rotty. I hurried about in my dress dropping things here and there as I went I noticed an empty tankard and the man to whom it belonged. 

"Another Doctor Dawkins?" I asked as I collected some from the table beside his own, 

"Uhhhhh no it's alright, Y/n." He said his face a little grim and tried as he pushed the tankard to the end of the table for me to collect it easily, I knew he wanted more but given his low pay or well lack of it he didn't exactly have a lot of cash to throw around on a Friday night, He would often come on a Friday night play some cards to get enough for a drink that he'd nurse a good while and then head home, he never saw the girls as he couldn't afford to even if I had offered him a discount more then once but he was such a gentleman and always politely declined. 

"You sure? you sure nursed it,"

"It's been a long week,"

"Aww, one more? on me." 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah sure, got to keep the doctor happy," I smiled as I took the tankard to refill it for him and I gave his cheek a pinch as I left which forced him to smile, I returned the empties and paid for Jack's drink out of my my tips from the evening,

"I don't know why you bother with him, he's not got any money you don't have to be nice to him." Mags said as she leant on the bar with her fan in hand, 

"Magnolia," I glared as I loaded my tray, "Off it," I told her, as I took my tray and dropped off the drinks dropping Jack's off last, 

"Thanks y/n." He smiled,

"You're welcome Jack," I cooed patting his blonde head as I tried to continue but he took my hand tugging me gently back to him and giving my hand a soft gentle kiss, "Awww that's my tip?"

"yeah, sorry..."

"I am more than happy to take my tips as such, just from you," I winked kissing his head before I got on with my work, 

The night went off as usual dropping drinking where needed, seeing the regulars and the new guys in from a ship in port today, checking in on the card games and breaking up a few fights, I didn't mind actually I kinda prefer when I'm on this shift as you see people and have a much better evening with more going on, rather then on the other shift were you come out into the bar for five-ten minutes longer if someone wants you sat on their lap for a while the rest of the night your just laid on your back. And I just wasn't feeling it today which is fine Rotty didn't mind I think she knows I'm more a bar girl than a bed girl nowadays. I often passed Jack and gave him a smile which he often gave back, the girls didn't much bother with him as they all had a joke that Jack was 'Y/n's regular' even if we had never actually done anything it was just what they often referred to him as, none of them ever bothered because they knew he didn't have money so never much bothered to give him more then a smile unless of course he had been at the card tables winning as he often did, Then the girls would check up on him. 

I returned to the bar cleaning some tankards when Jack approached, "Here," he smiled handing over his empty tankard,

"Aww thank you, you're the only one who doesn't just leave them," I laughed taking it back, "Another?"

"No, it's okay I need to get back."

"Course, have a nice night Doctor Dawkins,"

"You too y/n" He smiled kissing my hand before he headed out and off back to the hospital, 

"he is cute," Mags smiled as she leant on the bar, 

"Maybe," I shrug, trying to hide my blush at such a thought, 

"Shame he's stoney broke."

"Mags," I warn, 

"Ohh come on you can admit it he's a little lowlife"

"Mags." I warn louder, 

"I mean everyone knows he's only a doctor because of the Navy, he's not smart enough to have gone to college like the other doctors."

"Magnolia," I warn, 

"such a tiny little thing too, I bet we took his shirt off we could play a tune on his ribs."

"Magnolia, off it," I warn,

"at least as a doctor, he's got skilled quick fingers, 'cause he ain't doing much else with anything else."

"Magnolia enough." 

"Really? Just cause you like him doesn't mean you have to lie, He's an uneducated scrawny little beggared" 

"Mags!" I yelled setting my stuff down, "Enough." 

"Fine," she smiled slowly moving away, "makes sense why he likes you so much, you're the only girl around here he can hope to afford." she smirked, "Or do you let him get off for free like his drinks?" 

Okay, that's it! "Mag's Enough! you're a fucking whore you don't have cause to call anyone a lowlife!" 

"I make more than he does!"

"Yeah lying on your back and letting men frost your stomach!" I yelled, "He saves people's lives, delivers babies, you know something actually worth doing!"

"Ohh come on you're only defending him because you like him!" she yelled back, "You ddin't have a crush on him we'd have kicked him out like we do every boy who hasn't the money to be worth anything! If you wanna go be some penniless doctor's housewife fine but don't waste a table on him that I- We could be making money on!"

"That's all you care about money!"

"Yes! So keep your poorper doctor boy in the gutter where he belongs!" 

"Ughhh!" I yelled and pulled her hair, she screamed and shoved me into the bar. 

Immediately it became an all-out fight and we weren't doing like a cute girl fight or even a cat fight this was a full-on bar brawl with chairs, tankards, punches, kicks, hair pulls, nails, slaps and at times biting, and when it was over we both needed a cart ride to the hospital for various injuries... and let's just say Rotty was not happy we were fighting, or breaking chairs, or tankards, and a window. 

I was put in a room far away from Mags and I sat on the bed trying not to whine from pain, 

"Y/n?" I heard making me look up to see Jack at the door he saw me and the state I was in for a second he looked heartbroken but then rage boiled behind his eyes, 

"Hi, Jack,"

"What the bloody hell happened!" 

"I can-"

"Who did this to you! what kind of sick twisted bastard did this to you!" He yelled,

"Jack please-"

"Who was it! I'll beat the living daylights out of them you just see if I won't" He yelled "Give me his name."

"Jack-"

"Give me his fucking name y/n!"

"Mags."

"M-Mag- Mags did this to you?" He asked softening for a moment, "Magnolia did this to you?"

"Yeah,"

"Why?"

"I uhhh... May have gotten in a fight with her."

"yeah, I could figure that out. why did she suddenly turn and fight you."

"I may have pulled her hair..."

"So you started it?"

"Yeah."

"Y/n! You can't start a fight with someone!" He scolds "Look at you! look at what's happened to you and you're lucky you got out with just this!"

"I know but-" I suddenly felt like a child being told off by their father, 

"Why on earth would you start a fight with Mags she's twice your size and you know she can kick a horse down the street, are you stupid or something why would you start anything with her let alone let it go on to a full-on fight? I can't believe you!"

"I'm sorry Jack."

He sighed putting a hand through his hair, "Do you have any idea how stupid that was?"

"Yes..."

"she could have killed you!"

"I know..."

"At least you're alright," He sighed kissing my forehead, "But I'm still mad at you,"

"I know." I giggled,

"You know what no. I'm not mad at you."

"You're not?"

"No. I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed." 

 Immediately my heart sank, god damn why does that still work on me as an adult woman, "I'm sorry..."

"I know you are," He said, "Come on let's get your battle scars looked at," he said "But I am not kissing your bruises better." he joked

"Aww, why not?" I playfully whined

"No, no I'm not doing it I'm still angry at you. that's your punishment little lady I'm not kissing them better."

"But how will they get better without kisses?"

"well should have thought about that before you started a fight." He said  slowly but surely he went over my body cleaning and wrapping my every cut, motioning every bruise, checking the extent of the damage done to me, "There, that's all of them, now look after yourself alright."

"I will I promise,"

"Good, I do not want you back in here for another fight." he warns, "Or else."

"Or else what?"

"Else your next battle is gonna be with me." He warns tapping my nose, "Okay?"

"Okay." I nodded,

"Good, what did you and Mags get into a fight over."

"I- I can't"

"Tell me." He ordered, "Now. Before I really do get mad at you again."

"...You."

he froze up looking me over before finally meeting my eyes, "Me?"

"Yeah..."

"You got into a fight with mags, over me?"

"Yeah,"

"You... you... got into a fight over me? why?"

"I can't-"

"Y/n. why did you get into a fight with her," 

"she... she said some bad things about you,"

"What did she say?"

"she called you stoney broke, called you a little lowlife, called you not smart enough to have gone to college, a tiny little thing, she said at least as a doctor, you've got skilled quick fingers, 'cause he ain't doing much else with anything else, she called you an uneducated scrawny little beggared" I explained and every word looked as if it cut him open, "She said we should keep the poorper doctor boy in the gutter, where you belong,"

"she- she said all that?"

"she did." I nodded,

"and- and you defended me?"

"Of course I did."

"You defended me! You started a fight for me! You... you got all these battle scars... for me?"

"I did."

He cracked a smile and gave my lips a soft gentle kiss before he pulled me into his chest as close as possible stroking my hair, "Thank you y/n."

"It's okay,"

"No, really, thank you. You don't know how much that means to me."

"You're welcome Jack," I smiled, "Happy to get a few battle scars for you."

"Well, not too many I hope. You didn't have to do that for me..."

"I know, but I did. You'd have done the same for me wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would, I'd get a thousand battle scars for you." he said kissing my head, "that doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you." he chuckled, 

"I know," I laughed, "I accept that you're mad at me, for being stupid and starting a fight."

"No more starting fights, or getting into fights, just no more fighting in general."

"I promise." I nodded,

"Good girl." he cooed kissing my forehead,

[sopuu]

I love your art so much, it's such an inspiration :D

2 questions about your champion au

First of all, Who would Romeo transform into after he forces Lukas and Jesse to fight? I would imagine Jesse because he needs that sort of power to do stuff to Beacontown. I could be wrong-

Second, would there be a confrontation scene in your au? Like that one scene in episode 5, Lukas confronted Jesse. Would that happen? I'm curious because Lukas also got teleported to the sunshine institute.

ooh ok so for the first, romeo still turns into jesse bc as you said he needs to have jesse's status as hero in residence to have the power to run the town as he wants- but i think this impacts jesse a lot more than it did in canon bc it literally happens right after he goes through the whole being romeo's perfect champion hell. like imagine going through all that, realising you've finally escaped and reunited with your friends, just to get hit with another immensely stressful situation that involves not only your friends but also your townspeople and possibly the world? everything just keeps getting worse for him

also i have this scene in my head where after romeo disappears and drops them all to the ground, the gang rushes to jesse to check up on him. but all he can do is sit there with his head in his hands, shakily mumbling that he needs a moment while he breaks down a little and processes everything. it's like he took one step forward and two steps backwards. the weight on his shoulders just got heavier and he's the only one who can lift it, but he's just...so, so tired. (everyone sits by him during this, and lukas gently wraps him into a hug, rubbing circles on his back until jesse feels better. once he's mentally caught up on everything he perks right up and frets over them instead, espcially lukas since he just had to fight him. typical jesse :,) ) i have no idea if i'll draw this later though so i'm putting this out there in case i don't sdjghf

for the second q, the confrontation still happens but this time it's with axel and olivia who's formed the dead enders (or whatever team name you chose in season 1). just like lukas they did that in hopes to remind "jesse" of what they, and most importantly he was like before they had any sort of fame, when they were just a bunch of nerds from a treehouse. also i kinda wanted to give them a more prominent role in the story since they barely had any screentime in s2 lol.

the difference between them and the ocelots tho is that the two aren't really fighters- not in the sense of power but in the sense that they didn't straightforwardly rebel against "jesse". some passive defiance was definitely there like telling him that he's not doing the right thing, but they didn't form the rebellion team until romeo threw them into the admin tower prison. that was their last straw and the final proof they needed to see that the new jesse no longer cared for them.

oughh this got so long im sorry ghfdjk. tl;dr, romeo still becomes jesse, and yes the confrontation happens but with axel and olivia. the thing about this au is that the major plot points stay the same: they go to jail, romeo terrorises beacontown, they find the weapon, romeo gets beat down etc- its just how they get there that's different. i just really like exploring how one small change in canon events affects everything else :]

[sigmxnd]

forever (short story)

hi everyone :3 i posted this on ao3 not that long ago, but since a few more people are aware of my ocs on here, i kinda wanna try my hand at posting a story just on my account!!!!! this took me months with LOTS of breaks inbetween, but it's finally finished and i'm extremely proud of it. i hope you enjoy :3

~♡~

Leo's screaming fell upon his own deaf ears as his knees painfully hit the wooden floor. That wasn't him.

And yet they all still identified him.

Leo choked on his own wails and sorrowful tears, tearing the hoodie off his back and tossing it away from him. The fabric made him want to tear himself apart.

He was so deformed, destroyed. Twisted and cracked. His form resembled a horrific art project, a test of what the human body was capable of and how far the limits could possibly be pushed. And McLean was smiling.

A sick man and his best work. The ratings would fill his dinner plate tonight.

Leo could only wonder if he had any shred of consciousness left. If he was there now, would he even be recognized? If he hadn't left, would any of this have happened? The scenarios only encouraged the bile that threatened to escape his stomach. He couldn't handle this; not now, not ever.

Was 'he' even there? His body may have been, but the crowd calling upon his name seems to bring no reaction. His eyes only filled with one emotion that reflected throughout his terribly thin body as he reached towards Chris through the bars. Fury.

But maybe, if Leo called out for him, if he could only scream louder and reach his arms for the only one he'd ever desired to hold.. Maybe he was still there. Still clawing and fighting and looking for him, through the blinded mind of an animal. Hoping that someone would come back for him.

Leo didn't realize he'd moved to a different room until he heard the bathroom door open, seeing the taller stature of Sigmund from his spot on the cool tile floor. The blonde kneeled in front of him, reaching out and tenderly taking one of his wet hands.

"Can you hear me?" Sigmund mumbled, and though his head was pounding and his chest that felt far too small for the breaths he took, he nodded.

"Focus on me, if you can. Everything will be okay."He didn't understand. How could he? It certainly wasn't his fault, Leo couldn't blame the emotions he could never feel on him, but how could he ever see a silver lining in a ravenous tornado?

The front of his shirt was becoming uncomfortably soaked. He wanted to writhe, rip the cotton in two and free his body from the cage. Like a beast. The associated imagery didn't help.

"Maybe it's all a trick. You know how Chris is, he'll do anything to keep his show popular. Especially if it had something to do with the person everybody loves and talks about."

Although he wasn't wrong, how on Earth could he have faked that? It didn't seem like any kind of high budget CGI, a stuntman in makeup, a real animal, anything. Leo felt as though he wouldn't have known it was him so profoundly if it wasn't real.

His mind finally slipped the name. It only worsened his already severe sobbing. It really was Ezekiel.

Sigmund had stopped trying to comfort him, most likely realizing nothing he could say was going to help him. He sat properly beside him, letting the light brunette grip his hand as hard as he needed to.

The agony stayed for longer than he could bear to keep track of.

~~

Leo had found he never particularly cared for eating at restaurants. Always too noisy for him and too expensive, the idea never seemed worth it. And while a café seemed to get grouped in with that concept, when Sigmund suggested a local shop that didn't seem to get too populated, it didn't seem like a horrible idea.

The drive was silent, which Leo was thankful for, but he could tell Sigmund didn't enjoy it. He needed sound, something to fill the air and give him a chance to get out at least some of his pent up energy he couldn't expel elsewhere. But Leo couldn't bring himself to engage, feeling mostly numb. He'd spent himself with the constant crying and feeling the most rock bottom he thought he'd ever felt, and now there wasn't much left to give. As dramatic as it sounded in his head, there wasn't a better way to tell it.

The tiny building was admittedly very cute. They stepped inside, and he was satisfied that the described environment didn't disappoint. The two men placed their orders and went to sit, not exchanging words between each other. It didn't bother Leo, but evidently Sigmund couldn't take it anymore, breaking the air with a sentence that stirred the still emotions inside of him.

"They're making a new season." He muttered, audible enough for the man across from him to hear. "I don't know why. I don't know where it'll be, either. But I just heard about it."

Leo sighed and put his face in his hands, trying to keep himself from bursting into tears in a calm atmosphere. To his surprise, it mostly worked. "Awesome. I can't wait." The sarcasm practically dripped from his teeth onto the freshly cleaned tables, and he'd started to feel guilty as he saw a blur of the blonde man beginning to fidget with his hands nervously. He wasn't mad at Sigmund for anything; the entirety of everything simply weighed him down to the point of not having the capacity to fake it 'till he made it. He just couldn't.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to make it seem like I'm angry at you, I'm not."

"No, don't worry, man. You've been.. Dealing with a lot. I shouldn't have brought it up."

The spiked edges of the old grief stabbed his chest and burned at his eyes. 'Not now.'

"It's fine." He replied in a flat voice, looking out the window as Sigmund got up to retrieve their drinks. He felt the desire to be in the closed off box of his room develop in his mind and tug at his limbs, but he didn't move. He was long due for a day out of the house, and he was going to get through it, no matter how badly he wanted to go home.

When the man returned, they quietly enjoyed their drinks, equally knowing that any more conversation would surely lead to something worse.

~~

Sigmund knew he was far from being over it. Even without it being visually obvious, he just knew Leo had been struggling to live the way he had before. Which was completely understandable.

He tried to help as best he could, but he didn't know how. Asking would typically work, but Leo's mind clouded and would overload so frequently that it made it hard for him to even know what he needed himself.

He just wished he could connect with the way he felt. Take his feelings and memories and put them in his own head, so he could be a more effective friend. It wasn't a really good train of thought, as friends couldn't be labeled by how 'effective' they were, but he found he had a hard time trying to find a better term for it.

He'd been there as much as he could, whether it was just as the comforting presence of another person or to be the encouraging voice to get him to eat. That was another thing Leo had been battling with; he'd told Sigmund it was hard to not imagine what Ezekiel had to (more so what he couldn't) eat throughout the period of him going crazy, and it made him sick to his stomach. It was rough looking for a technique to help with that.

Today, he'd constantly been worrying about the words that left his mouth, knowing all too well he had the habit of saying things without thinking, nearly every moment they came to mind. He'd tried to keep from internally cursing himself as he drove Leo back to his home, as it wouldn't help anything, though he lost that battle quite unfairly.

They hopped out of the parked car when they'd arrived, walking up the driveway and turning to each other at the door.

"Do you need me to stay for anything?" Sigmund asked softly, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets awkwardly. He wasn't sure what to do with his hands in moments of nervousness; he typically tried to settle on putting them away. "I don't have anything to do today, and my mom can just call if she needs me."

The taller shook his head, digging in his pants pockets for his house key. "No, it's fine." Turning the key in the lock, he paused before he put his hand on the knob. Sigmund took notice of the hesitation and furrowed his brows.

"You okay?"

Leo took a quiet, restricted breath. "Sorry, I lied. Can you stay?" He wiped his face on his deep blue hoodie before turning back to Sigmund, scratching at the raw skin of his hands that had been far past itchy hours ago.

"Yeah, of course."

~~

As the trees became bare with the unforgiving winter, Leo slowly moved back into his normal routines. The grief hadn't gotten a lot easier, many things still made his heart hurt and have the potential to ruin his day, but Sigmund had helped him with healing more than he realized.

He knew he didn't have to, and there was a chance it wouldn't be accepted out of humility, but he wanted to get his friend something as a 'thank you' for not abandoning him when he was most vulnerable. He didn't think he wouldn't, but he was still beyond grateful.

Though after lasting two seconds thinking about it, he figured he'd just grab some snacks and go visit him.

Parking in the driveway of the modest two-story house, an unpleasant shiver ran up Leo's spine as he exited the warm car into the contradicting temperature outside. He knocked on the equally freezing door, not having to wait long before he was greeted by an unusual concerned look displayed on Sigmund's mother's face. She looked a bit surprised to see him at the door, but she couldn't get a word out before an unintelligible and distressed yell echoed from upstairs.

"My apologies, Leo, I didn't know you were coming. Sigmund is upstairs, but I'm not sure if he wants to be interrupted at the moment." She stepped aside and let him in, locking the door behind him. The warmth spread throughout his face and down to his bones, and he sighed contentedly, a small piece of calm before he was startled by another angry exclamation. A swear word he, frankly, never planned on repeating.

"Is he okay?" The taller man asked, readjusting the plastic bag he held. Maybe what he'd bought wasn't quite right for this.

"Yes, he's just on a call with somebody, I forget who. I checked on him a bit ago and he's very upset, but thankfully the walls are insulated enough that the neighbors can't hear him. I've been trying to tune him out until he comes down for any comfort." She sat down on the couch, taking a sip of a soda she had. "Feel free to sit down, if you'd like."

"Thank you, but I'm okay. I'll go see what's up." He made his way up the stairs, stopping every time a shout rung through his ears. By the time he made it to the cracked door, the vibrations of the blonde evidently pacing around his room could be felt through his navy boots.

"FUCK YOU!" Sigmund cried, a flash of black flying past the light creeping out of the doorway. No thump was heard, which was slightly relieving, but it was nullified immediately at the sound of Leo's friend uncontrollably sobbing.

Leo approached the door, knocking gently and standing awkwardly. The door was flung open by a disheveled and seething Sigmund on the other side, who eased up at the sight of him and dropped his shoulders silently. "Oh, um.. Hi." He stepped back from the door, trying to inconspicuously wipe his tears on his shirt.

Leo wasn't sure what to say. The emotion in his chest was different this time; not quite the same grief he'd been trying to deal with for months. It hurt without the crushing hopelessness welling up in his eyes and throat. He felt something bloom in his chest, hardening his heart while opening it up to the vulnerable man in front of him.

Hesitantly, he stepped towards him, setting the plastic bag of snacks down on the ground and extending his arms to Sigmund. The way he'd desperately wanted to, days and days ago. Without a second thought, he nearly fell into Leo's offered hug, completely breaking down and muffling his cries in the taller man's soft blue jacket.

~~

"Hey."

Startled, Leo and Sigmund looked up from each other, up at the stranger standing at their table.

"Oh hey, I know you. Aaron, right?" Sigmund pointed out, putting on a fake voice to try and cover up what they were both feeling. Leo simply folded his hands on the table and anxiously tapped on his skin. "You were in the newest season."

"Yeah. I know you guys too, no need to tell me or anything." Aaron rustled in the pockets of his white jacket, clearly trying to grab hold of something. "I don't want anything, I just came by to.. Stir shit up, I guess." He gestured for Sigmund to lean forward and whispered something inaudible in his ear, causing the blonde to put on his iconic shit-eating grin and cover his mouth some.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He mumbled, trying to hold back his giggling. Aaron smiled slightly and nodded, the former pulling his jacket over his nose to muffle his laughter. The dark brunette then turned to Leo, pulling out a folded up piece of paper and putting it in front of him.

"You don't gotta open it right now. I just figured you might want it."

Those words repeated in Leo's head the entire way back to Sigmund's house, he was (they both were, frankly) dying to see what it was. As soon as they parked, they flew in the house and up the stairs, holing themselves up in Sigmund's room.

"Okay open it, I think I might explode if I don't know what it is." The blonde threw himself on the bed, flipping onto his stomach and leaning his chin on his palms. The taller sat next to him, delicately opening the mysterious paper.

The air went from warm, to very, very cold. They exchanged no words, nor a glance, seeing a slightly weathered, signed photo of Ezekiel in his corny rapper persona.

~~

"Okay, I think that's the last box." Sigmund sighed heavily and sat down against the wall, twisting his soda open and taking quite an unreasonable drink. It caused him to choke and cough, but he couldn't care.

"Cool." Leo slumped next to him, also taking a (better) drink of his pop. The room was empty for now, but hopefully unpacking everything wouldn't take forever.

"Jesus, why is all my shit so heavy? Are you sure you didn't hide a vintage brick collection in my boxes?"

"Last I checked, I don't collect bricks, but you never know. Maybe I did."

Infectious giggles filled the vacant space of the room, causing the two to almost spill their drinks on each other. When Sigmund calmed down, his eyes caught on the already assembled desk table. "Hey, since that's already up, we could probably fill it with stuff. You still tired?"

"Nope. Let's do it."

Simultaneously singing along to the likes of 2010's hits and popular emo music ("Is it true emo though?" Leo asked, to which Sigmund shrugged and said "Who cares, it's good.") while unpacking stuff for the table, it seemed to get faint when Leo picked up the picture of Ezekiel he framed years ago.

It had gotten a little dirty before he'd put it behind the glass, but it still nearly looked as good as when he'd got it. He knew now that it definitely couldn't look like it did when it was taken, but he didn't care. It didn't make it any less special.

"Put it there, I can surround it in dinosaurs." Sigmund pointed to a specific area of the table, holding a clump of plastic dinosaurs in the other hand. Leo chuckled softly as he gently placed the frame on the table, helping surround the picture with not so menacing looking creatures.

"Perfect, now he will never leave and can forever live in fear of these dollar store prehistoric.. Things."

Stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets, he blinked back some tears as he smiled. A familiar, loving warmth took up all the space in his heart.

"Yeah. Forever."

[end ♡]

[agendratum]

here's a little thing i wrote on subway rides after my night shifts inspired by the tags on this post and by this post.

"did you ever..." porsche trailed off without finishing his words.

pete looked up at him, confused. they were taking a break together after one of the jobs went less than smoothly. smoking quietly, resemblance of comfort in each other's presence. that wasn't the kind of comfort, if that could be an applicable word here, pete got around vegas in these situations, but it was still nice. besides, today vegas wasn't with them. pete thought it might have been a part of the problem.

porsche exhaled a puff of smoke.

"i mean you and vegas are kinda alike in these ways, right? but it must have started before him. remember that first job i followed you to? you were really calm about the whole thing back then. it was different, right? i mean, he was just some guy after all.. and i know kinn doesn't stomach these things quite like that too so-"

pete was desperately trying to follow porsche's extremely awkward train of thought. the straight-forward guy that he usually was, sometimes he really could not get to the point. coincidentally most of these times were related to "the ways pete and vegas were kinda alike".

"porsche, what the fuck are you talking about?"

pete tapped the ash off his cigarette. pete wasn't sure he wanted to answer whatever porsche was trying to ask.

"sorry, you know how i get when we have to do this shit. feels weird."

"still not used to it."

that pete could understand. porsche was porsche, and porsche wasn't of this world and sometimes pete wished back then, before everything had gone too far, given the chance, porsche would have agreed to leave. it would have been better for porsche, he knew. but pete tried not to linger too long on all the could have beens.

"yeah..." porsche laughed awkwardly. "just one more reason for vegas to hate me even more for taking this place."

pete frowned, pursing his lips.

"are you trying to tell me you care about vegas' approval in any of this?"

porsche huffed.

"no, no, that's not what i mean. it's just- it's not like he didn't know what he was doing. pete, you also- i think you also knew what you were doing."

pete was getting more confused and concerned by the second.

"what i'm trying to say is - did you ever got answers out of anyone in that way. not the brutal kind of way, the methodical one."

ah. here it is.

"like the way vegas did it?" he prompted, as calm as ever. took another long drag.

he knew porsche was uncomfortable. pete? wasn't really feeling either way. he could feel the skin tight around his body. he blinked, he knew how to do that.

"not quite like vegas."

he knew how his fingers were supposed to hold the cigarette so it looked natural. so no one could tell he had to move them manually. how to take another drag like other people did it. let the smoke out of the body, aware of how it moves inside of it. the body was a simple thing to control.

"and you're right, kinn didn't really stomach it that well."

pete really didn't feel much about the whole thing. he just had to move his eyelids cause his eyes, just like every other person's eyes, needed moisture. shift his legs, cause people get tired sitting in the same position. natural. like every other human did. pete just really didn't want to make porsche upset.

he wished vegas was with them tonight. if he was there, they wouldn't have been having this conversation. if he was there, pete wouldn't have to hold his skin so tightly around himself. they would have already been home by this time probably. taking it off.

he indeed wasn't quite like vegas when it came down to it. vegas in his futile attempts to make himself feel better about his miserable existence tried turning torture into an art form. everything was a performance, so was taking apart someone's body till they didn't have it in them to refuse him any longer. and then he would go on for some more. everything he did had to be perfect, so the art had to be complete. pete in his futile attempts to not care about turning his existence into less than human wrote everything off as his job description. which meant minimum effort for maximum results. where he just had to be efficient, vegas, if he had to he honest, and he tried to be when it came to everything vegas, was elegant. watching him pete could almost hear music.

he of course was not going to tell porsche about the music. after all, he didn't want to make porsche upset.

"a couple of times."

not like he actually counted.

"shit..."

porsche was honest in his reactions. pete envied him sometimes.

his skin was getting a bit too tight for the bones now. he wanted to drop his cigarette, but couldn't. wouldn't know where to put his hands then, what to do with fingers.

easier when the fingers are somebody else's. don't have to think too much. minimum efforts - maximum results.

not what porsche wanted to hear.

"it was just work, porsche. don't overthink it."

that was what made porsche look at him finally, with one of these stares of his that made pete want to crawl away. the side of porsche that he was not letting pete see glancing at the side of pete he was not letting porsche see. not recognition, but something just a bit too knowing. a reminder that pete willingly let porsche see a bit too much and there was no going back from it.

not that he wanted to go back. it was nice, the familiar feeling porsche gave him. it was nicer on the better days. still, for a second, pete imagined the world in which porsche never showed up in the doorway of his room. would have been pretty fucking lonely, he thought.

so pete held porsche's gaze. smiled with one corner of his mouth.

"i'm serious. i never did more than i had to. as simple as that."

porsche nodded, glancing intently at pete for a moment longer before throwing his head back and taking another drag.

actually there was one time pete did more than he had to. only once. but that was before theerapanyakuls entered his life. porsche didn't need to know about that time.

"sorry. feels kinda stupid worrying about this shit when i'm already so far in."

pete chuckled. his skin was tingling. stupid.

"you aren't stupid. well, sometimes you're, but-"

"pete!"

porsche kicked his leg, putting on a highly offended look. pete smiled, this time the smile reaching his eyes.

if porsche asked, pete would probably help him with it. he would do the dirtier of work for him, if only cause porsche wouldn't be good at it, not as good as pete would be anyway.

and maybe to not mess any further with already pretty muddy waters that was the section of pete's brain responsible for this kind of dirty work. he didn't want to add porsche to the mix. there was only one person pete wanted to keep in close proximity of the idea of cutting someone's flesh open. carving something hidden away, tucked deep inside. he would help porsche gladly, if only for the sake of keeping it that way.

[thehiddenbaroness]

Entry 5: Ballparks

1/3/25

I’ve been experiencing the “new year, fresh motivation” since before New Year’s Eve, and I felt a bit of the burn-out yesterday evening as a result. Going forward I need to remember this is a marathon, not a race (with whom?), and that however excited I may be I need to take breaks. For my posture if nothing else.

I think part of it was because I took yesterday to try to truly narrow down some choices and consequently, had to tackle some math and scale-back to the priority list. My missions yesterday were: to try to get a ballpark figure for how much it’d cost to print just one paperback at various platforms, and to start looking again at artists for cover art (and likely miscellaneous marketing art). 

Touching just briefly on the hunt for a suitable cover artist – it’s more difficult than I thought. Another reason to start things like that early, especially so you have time (and budget) to try again should one collaboration not work out, and super-especially if you don’t already have a feel for what you want, or don’t already follow artists you like. I’ve spent time browsing ArtStation, Tumblr, and DeviantArt and it can be rough to gauge who might be best-suited to your needs. One tactic that kinda worked well – a sort of reverse-image-search – was when I pulled out my folder of other authors’ covers I liked and found the illustrator, then looked them up that way. Definitely recommended to try both, though straight-up browsing (even with search terms) on art sites is something that would (and should) take you longer. (Disclaimer that this dilemma may wear a different skin or be far less of one depending on your genre and market.)

Back to print cost. A lot of platforms will do you the courtesy of having a print cost calculator, even without signing up directly, and there are some rough-guestimate formulas floating around. However, not all calculators are created equal, and the formulas vary. I have the advantage of a basically-finished product – i.e., my wordcount and word processor pagecount isn’t going to vary too much between now and when I actually go to print – but I ran into some frustration because, surprise surprise, not all platforms offer the same options or, simply, fields to fill out. Sometimes this was because my length limits me (I did a rough formatting trial in Word to a 6x9” trim, and I’m sitting at about 680 pages all said and done), but sometimes not.

My advice here is to nonetheless get what information you can, and start to inform yourself on how the back-end of publication works when it comes to design choices influencing your bottom line. For example, first I spent a little bit of time refreshing my memory on some publishing terms – trim, gutter, bleed, etc. – so that I’d get some references, and made sure I had a vague idea of what was typical for the genre. I’d originally wanted a 5.5x8” trim, but that would have made my book even chunkier and thus more expensive to print, meaning I’d have to charge more for it to cover costs – confirming that 6x9” is still fairly acceptable meant I could scale back the pagecount and thus my cost and ballpark list price.

In the process of going through all this, I determined that at this juncture I don’t want to go the full-service route with places like Lulu and BookBaby. They work on the model of an upfront cost so that you can (to an extent) keep all your profit, versus a print-on-demand service that takes a cut for each sale or charges a monthly fee. I may explore them later for things like special editions once I’m more established. 

I was also reminded that while I shouldn’t put all my eggs in one basket, there’s no real need to try to publish to more than one or two places. I can always change my mind, and while I know untangling from some places can incur a cost or at least a learning curve, it’s not the end of the world if I want to subtract or add where I’m available. At this stage – for me at least – it’s more important to just get out there and build an audience.

In conclusion, the waters are still a bit murky on my print cost, but I still have a better idea now than when I did. I think it’ll only become clear once I sign up for a platform or two and am able to actually upload the thing, and that can’t be done yet without my cover!

+++++ Baroness' Self-Publication Journal Masterpost I'm journaling what I uncover as I do more research for self-publication of my novel! I'll be using the tag "#sp journal". All of this will eventually wind up as part of a larger, more detailed guide for which I'm making notes.

[freezing-turtle]

Art Month 2024 is complete! I have once again overcome this challenge, having (hopefully) grown far stronger than I was before! My roster of Drawn Characters is certainly more full than it was before.

This post is going to be a sort of master-post of all the posts of Art Month 2024, an easily scrollable listing with a bit of commentary and reflection here and there. It'll be below the break (assuming I do this right). Feel free to point out your favorites, and maybe share this (or the individual posts) with others who may find the artwork cool or neat. Thanks for being here with me this October, I am taking a bit of a break from drawing for now (need to recover physically with Rest and mentally with Gaming).

Day 1: Watermelon Teto I don't remember why I went with the Majima Melon meme, but I'm satisfied with it.

Day 2: Furina I feel like I enjoy the mini-Furina more than the actual main image. She's just so silly.

Day 3: Cheryl Was very happy about the background on this one, actually. It still takes longer than just a flat color or gradient, but this style of background painting is still pretty quick. This is also when you can say I turned the makeup up to 11, and yeah. I just find it fun, and can't really do much with it irl, so it works its way into my art rather often.

Day 4: Shantae I did not realize Shantae had this much pull. This one got a lot of traffic and hype, at least compared to the rest. I do like it on its own merits, I feel like I adopted parts of the original style well, but yeah, it shocked me a bit. Again on backgrounds, though, I feel very confident with my clouds these days.

Day 5: Spirit Tracks Zelda Feels well-made, but almost doesn't feel like its mine as much because of how closely I stuck to the original artstyle. Also, I'm not so happy about the background. It's fine, but it sure took a while for it to just be "fine."

Day 6: Balatro This was very well-liked by the official Balatro Discord server; I think it helped that most people focused on imagining/ reimagining joker cards, so this was a lot more fresh.

Day 7: Bunnies I felt it was important to have some requests in here, and spread out, so that I could maintain motivation by saying "I have to get to at least here so I can make this for my friend!" It's a different flavor of motivation, which I think keeps things fresh and functioning well. I made the designs for these two, then went to check, and I realized the black bun was a boy bun, but didn't want to redo the whole thing, so I just decided he would be a femboy in this.

Day 8: Sakuya The rare animated work from me. I'm really unfamiliar with CSP's animation tools (and animation tools in general), so it was a bit of a struggle making this work right. Previous frames of the knife kept appearing behind the current frame until I moved everything to the right on the timeline, then the frames disappeared as expected. I don't know why or how that fixed it.

Day 9: Reina I'm not very satisfied with this one. I know very little about the character, and I feel like it just doesn't look right, but people who know her seem to have enjoyed it, so I guess it's alright.

Day 10: Sigune This might just be my best art in general? Like, this one went so well. Strong expression, good fore/middle/back ground, everything is lined decently well, it's just a really strong piece. "My Best" might be subjective, I could shift it around depending on criteria and how I'm feeling; it's almost certainly the most detailed illustration this character has ever gotten, though. I don't think I've seen anyone else draw her this well.

Day 11: "Rare Occurrence" This one felt silly, but still pretty good. More painterly, and mostly background, which I used in-game screenshots to help guide me on (mostly just the center mountain). I probably should've thrown a ToP in the background, better solidify the AH reference. Was kinda surprised to find that people used to hate this episode, though, it permanently altered my ability to see pink and brown sheep, and I thought it was the origin of Ray's "ENDERMAN!" voice clip, but I didn't rewatch the full thing to check.

Day 12: Palutena I did not consider what effect the cropping would have given her outfit. I just didn't want to draw all those details, there's just so many bits. I also wanted to draw a girl with gold makeup, and a goddess of light seemed like a strong fit. I think it was a strong idea, but my execution on the face wasn't all there, in my eyes.

Day 13: Athena Cykes Painting over the courtroom background like that probably wasn't necessary, but it's pretty alright, at least. I tend to prefer shorter, untied hair, but these wild ponytails with strong shapes are fun to draw as well. Same sort of deal as with Miku (or Teto).

Day 14: Femme Joker [P5] I thought this one was going to spread better than it did. It's okay, though. I'm happy enough with the posing, and drawing male characters being feminine is fun in a slightly different way to drawing female characters being feminine. Probably has something to do with my transier feelings, we don't need to get deep into it, though.

Day 15: Super Hat Witch Sort of a different format so I could show off more of the concept of what the character does, rather than a simple pinup or whatever. I'm glad the requester found the hat to be sufficiently Big, I kind of expected at least a joking "the hat should be Bigger."

Day 16: Skyla & Elesa I hid Shadow the Hedgehog in the background, he's in one of the windows, barely visible. Another one where I feel like I could've done better, especially around the faces, but the concept felt very nice and was a nice twist on what I was seeing in most of the trending Skyla art.

Day 17: Hisami Yomotsu Between this and Sakuya, Touhou Tumblr was surprisingly kind to me (surprising in the fact that I didn't really expect it to be here and be active in spreading stuff like what I made)

Day 18: Nifl & Fjorm There's this artist I follow who is a big Nifl fan, and I shared this in her server, and she seemed really happy and excited about what I made, so that felt pretty great. I also like what I did here; faces were a little experimental, mixed results a bit, but Nifl definitely looks good to my (present-day) eyes.

Day 19: Mirror Maiden I really like Mirror Maidens. The closest thing we have to a playable Mirror Maiden is maybe Layla, who is another one of my favorite Genshin characters, but I want her to have the blue lipstick (and also to not get screwed out of appearing in all the new Sumeru content, she just got left out of the Sumeru group photo in the current Event going on, I'm mad about it).

Day 20: Guildmarm I think I forgot to add a layer to show the glass of her glasses more properly, but it's a very minor thing. I wish MH4 was on something other than the 3DS.

Day 21: Bowsette Felt good about my modifications to the more standard Bowsette designs. The green eye makeup felt really appropriate here, capturing the green part of Bowser's head that usually gets left out. Background was cool, too. Probably could've put more thought into the floor tiles, but, nah.

Day 22: Dark Magician Girl I still don't really get the rules of YGO, but I imagine she's playing (or trying to play) a Spellcaster deck of some kind, based on the fact that the [Spellcaster] tag was on the card I used as a reference image.

Day 23: Queen Deltarune I tried to put not that much effort into this and it still did well. Oh-ho-ho. Also, nobody's pointed out the Cool S. I felt like it fit.

Day 24: Gumi-Mew This one had a lot more effort, it was kind of like a birthday present. Really happy with the dynamism in the pose, it's maybe not perfect for rounding the corner like that, but kinda rocks.

Day 25: Poison I think this is where I realized I was getting fatigued mentally. I was still doing alright, but I was needing to take more and more breaks. Really sleepy.

Day 26: Pyra Definitely wish I had remembered the animal hoodie. Probably would've been harder to draw, but I think it's cuter. Also, this one got a bunch of people to tell me to finish playing Xenoblade Chronicles 2; I'm sure it's good, but I just have other priorities at the moment.

Day 27: Spooky Corrin Another one where I hoped it would've been more popular. I've seen a lot of her this year in particular, but maybe I was just looking for it this time. Still happy about it, I think the little dragon form is cute.

Day 28: Creepyfrogsta "You've met with a terrible frog, haven't you?" is still just hilarious to me. It's good to break things up with something silly and fun every now and again. Get that variety in there, it helps pass the Art Month (in case you wanted advice on how to complete on yourself [probably don't dive right in with a full, 31-day month. Maybe start with just a week if you feel unsure]).

Days 29 and 30: Hexed Trainers Had to fuse two days somewhere to slip under Tumblr's 30 image limit, this combo made the most sense by far. Modified it to also have my regular Hex Maniac from Art Month 2023 in the background (as well as using that background because it's better). I would be lying if I said I didn't at least kind of want to be transformed into a cute goth/ gothy girl. Most types of girl would already be a good start.

Day 31: Aversa Costume I think my shading could've maybe been better, some details aren't perfect, but I was fighting my way to the finish line, and sometimes you just have to be happy with whatever you can get done. I can do better in the abstract, but I couldn't do better in that moment, and that's an important thing to keep in mind, you know? I hope this will be good for me in the end. I don't know if Art Month 2025 will be a thing yet, but we'll see.

Thank you for making it all the way to the end, this post and all the art in it took a lot of time to make happen. I appreciate your support, I'm glad that if nothing else, I can make people's days a little bit better using the skills I've been practicing for years.

[abdanisnotonfire]

CHAPTER TWELVE

A few days had passed since Brook started school and they seemed to go by smoothly. She was correct in assuming it'd be as insufferable as she thought it'd be, but it wasn't that bad. The school she had recently began to assimilate herself with had a theatre department and Brooklyn definitely wasn't mad about that.

She had been assigned the regular four cores: english, maths, language arts, and science. She also had found herself apart of the tech crew in the drama club. Some of the other girls had elected swimming, or track, but theatre seemed the easier to Brook. The girl was sat in class focusing on the poetry in front of her, stuck on a rhyming verse. The class was learning about vocabulary but her mind was somewhere else completely. Although things had gone smoothly, there HAD been a development in the 'Amber' case.

She HAD been put in Brooks schooling district. She hadn't seen her yet, but the thought of having to interact with her made her skin crawl. She was pissed at Amber for what felt like a long time, but in reality it had only been a few weeks. She had bigger things to worry about, she thought. "Brook? Were you paying attention?" A mature voice spoke, breaking the younger girl out of her thoughts. "What? I'm sorry, no, I was still thinking about the last lesson." A few people in the class shared a giggle together.

"That's enough of that. It's alright. Lucas, could you answer the question?"

And just like that, Brooklyn was back in her train of thought. She couldn't stop thinking about the weed sitting in her closet. In terms of smoking, Brooklyn was a complete lightweight. The only times she had the chance to smoke in the past was when she was running errands for Ms. Bradford.

There was no way she could finish all she was given. And she couldn't just flush it, could she? That would be a terrible waste of what her friends viewed as a gift. This time, her train of thought was broken by the school bell. The entire class ushered out of the classroom and into the halls, and Brooklyn was one of the last people to exit the class.

"Brooklyn Howell? Could I speak to you?" the teacher called before she was able to fully make it out the door. "Oh.. uhm. Me?" Brooklyn responded, pointing towards herself. The teacher let out a small giggle. "Well, how many other Brooklyn Howells are there in this school?"

The question lingered in the air for a minute before the teacher began to speak again. "You seemed really distracted. I want to make sure you're learning all of the materials properly, is there anything you're confused on?"

Brooklyn paused. Her generosity has taken her by surprise, and it took her a second to formulate an entire thought. "Oh! Well... I understood everything, it's just like, my brain lags or something. It takes me a lot longer to process things than other people, I think"

The teacher had her hand on her chin and nodded in approval. "I see. If you ever need me to give you a workplan with everything we're talking about, I could always set this up with your parents"

"My parents... right. That would be nice"

The english teacher smiled a warm toothy grin and quickly turned towards her desk. "Most students say no. I think it's VERY useful to have a workplan. We usually use them with our gifted and SEN students because they're at a different pace than most students are, but it gives all students the ability to plan for the future!"

Brooklyn admired her passion for the topic. "Well, I need all the future planning I can get, because my life kind of just upended itself!" Brooklyn sarcastically quipped, earning a certain glare from her teacher.

"How so?"

"Oh, I kinda figured everyone just... knew. I'm a foster kid and I was just placed with a family. It's been pretty...weird" Brooklyn leaned towards the chalkboard while speaking and held the straps of her backpack tighter.

"Well, London is a nice place. You'll make a lot of new friends, and have a lot of new experiences! It's a wonderful place to grow up." the teacher smiled and handed Brooklyn the planner.

"Right. I guess I'll just have to see what's in store for me."

"Exactly the way to view it! You'll have a great time."

Brooklyn smiled and shoved the paper into her backpack. It was the end of the day, and Brooklyn was ready to get home. The school wasn't a far walk from the flat and Brooklyn had made a small close knit group of friends.

"What are you doing afterschool anyway?" Amira questioned. Brooklyn had met Amira through drama club, and they had quickly bonded. "I don't know. Probably hanging out with my dads?"

Briar snickered and nudged Jennie. By this point, Jennie has asked to meet Dan and Phil multiple times. For some reason, that idea stressed Brooklyn out immensely. She didn't need to crossover her two lifestyles into one.

The hallways were crowded after school, and the students all made their way as they piled outsides of the doorways. Some students had after school activities, and others were like Brooklyn, who just loitered around afterwards.

"Are they coming to see the play?" Briar asked once they finally made their way out the doors. "I don't know. It's not like I'm IN it."

"No, but you're running it! That's still important, isn't it?" Jennie spoke, fluttering her eyes

"You just want to meet my dads"

That felt weird to say. Her dads. "Well, obviously, but also, do you know how big our turnout could be the next day if people hear that Dan and Phil came to our school? It would be brilliant marketing." Jennie responded, making exaggerated hand movements as she did so.

"Hush up, somebodies gonna hear you."

"Well, they would also hear me if they showed up to the school and I just start fangirling."

Brooklyn turned and waved off Amira as she headed to her car, a smile on her face as she greeted her parents. "And that's exactly why you CAN'T meet them. You have to be normal about this. This is my life, those are my parents, I don't want my friends fangirling over my dad all the time. It's weird."

Jennie stuck her tongue out at Brooklyn before turning to look both ways towards the street. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Not like I really have a choice, now do I?" Brooklyn laughed and waved.

Her start of her walk home was uneventful. She found herself kicking rocks and using google maps to remember the route home. She really had to learn the path from school back to home so she doesn't get lost or--

"Hey, idiot"

Brooklyn turned to face the voice, and it was a male about the age of 15. "You forgot this" The boy held out a sweater that Brooklyn remembered. "Oh. Sorry, thanks" She reached out for the sweater and quickly shoved it in her bag "I didn't hear you following me you creep"

"I wasn't creeping, I live right there."

"So you waited for me? That's even weirder."

The boy scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I could've just kept your stupid jacket. It's not like I care anyway. Amber found it and told me to give it to you."

Brooklyn felt her heart do a little twist. "Thanks... I'll remember that. I'm Brooklyn"

"Okay. I'm Oliver. I have to go, I just had to give you that. Bye"

Brooklyn waved and turned her back, looking towards the boy one more time before truly headed home. When she found herself making it back to the house, she stopped outside and pulled the sweater outside of her bag.

Brooklyn analyzed the sweater, making sure it hadn't been messed with in any way. It looked good at new, but she noticed a lump in the pocket. A note. She retrieved the note from the pocket and mentally took note of what it said. "Stop talking about me"

Right. If Amber wanted to say something to her, she could say it to her face. Brooklyn shoved the note and the sweater back into her backpack and walked into the house. She hung up her stuff and turned to walk towards the living room, but she was met face to face with both Dan and Phil

"Would you care to explain this?" 

[camillewasthere]

april 28 2024

It's 10pm and I'm about to get high. In a few weeks i'll be 32 years old. What a wild time.

When I got back from the gym today I was looking at baby pictures of Jannika and I. I look at baby version of me and I get kinda sad. I'm looking at a girl with not a clue what's in store. I want to protect the baby version of me from the world. It's sad to realize how things happen. That in order to be a well rounded person, you have to experience all things.

One memory I think about a lot when I was a child was when I got little papers, scissors and random art supplies and put it in a little ziploc. I wanted to hide it for some reason. I don't know who would want to look for a ziploc bag of art supplies. I decided to hide it on top of my uncle/grandma's vanity which was high as fuck. Probably a foot awat from the ceiling. When I tried to hide it, the bag fell. And I never found it again.

I was such a shy child. I always made sure to be mindful. To be aware. I was always watching everyone else. Always conscious of the space I took. Never feeling part of the crowd. Somehow always fake. Just observing. I love baby me. And I think if baby me knew the person I would become, she would be proud. She would want me to be happy and chose the road that brings fulfillment. She would probably think I was pretty. She would probably watch me do my makeup. She would be content with just being there with me.

I have been in my head a lot lately. Constantly strategizing. Thinking about what's next. What move is the right move. It's funny how much it consumes me. But how little I convey on the outside. People only see the product but never realize how long the process took.

Moving up to the bay area has been weighing heavily on my mind. Last time I went to visit I remember how much I liked being there. It felt more home-y to me.

Cons: It's colder Bears on hikes lol Probably more expensive Miss Daniela!

Pros: Better food Paid more Shady hikes Probably find the loml lol New cities to explore Easy way to go north or south to go on trips Less white people lol

Wow putting it out on a list like this actually makes it seem way more desirable. I can't wait to find a place I can furnish. With a washer dryer. No carpet. I'm so excited.

Before I end this I do want to at least talk about how i've been feeling.

It's been almost 6 months since the break up. He's still living here until our lease is over at the end of June. It's a conflicting feeling. Every day that gets closer, the more nervous I get about the plan with the dogs. But when I think about him being gone, all I can feel is excited. It's like I can finally be free of that energy. I can't wait to fix up my space. To be in my thoughts alone at home. So happy I have the dogs to protect me and keep me company. I don't really feel lonely. I know that will likely change once he's actually out of here. But for a long time before we broke up I was already doing so many things alone. It's liberating to be single honestly. I have almost zero desire to be with anyone. I say almost because I continue to be intrigued by the idea of Lori and Bre's friend and I being together. I don't want to imagine this as something more than it is, which is literally nothing lol. But it does seem like a possibility. I have to let my mind leave it at that. Old me would continue to obsess. New me wants to focus on what is good for me. What will make me happy. Because ultimately I want to be able to be so content with myself that anyone who seeks after me will only be an addition. I've settled for soooo long with too many guys that weren't right for me, whether they were good or bad. There's a reason they all didn't work out. Including long lost air force man. I need to allow my brain to understand that concept. The common denominator with all of those relationships is me. My physical self would constantly make deals with my emotional self that would lead to me staying for longer than I should have.

What's wild is, despite all the break up's i've had, I think the one with flannel mustache boy was the worst of the worst. Thinking about that relationship makes me wanna throw up to be honest. He was so handsy and gross. So flashy. Literally i'm barfing right now imagining how others saw us.

Anyway, yeah I'm stoked to be on my own. I love being home alone. Having a space all to myself is gonna be such a nice little vacation.

xx me

[serndestsart]

2024-01-07 Jenny holding leg in intense worry 😢

Art Timelapse

Thumbnail Timelapse

Art, plus a shadowed version & two thumbnails.(imo, I like the un-shadowed version better, but the shadowed one's starting to grow on me.🙂)

Based off a spur-of-the-moment thumbnail. In the middle of making it, I interpreted it as she’s not feeling “pain” per se (since she doesn’t have nerves); more like slight pressure that she’s cautious could burst.😔

*So sorry!🙇‍♀️Between getting ‘rona again & readjusting, I took a longer break than I intended. Guess this drawing of worry is kinda subconscious😳…Now that I've ruminated on it, it's okay🙂. This was a work-life balance lesson in managing forced breaks (like sickness).

MINI JOURNAL

This was another piece I was exhausted with. Another was the “Jenny slightly pulling back” one. While this “Jenny tending to leg” was over a week, it almost didn't feel any less concentrated with exhaustion.😔Anyways, in both cases, I didn't have too clear of an idea of what the final piece would look like (less so with this new one, as I knew I wanted to keep most of the lines red-orange & color Jenny aqua-green).

Social Media Strategy Tweak

Maybe next time, when in doubt, just keep it a sketch, with no colors or tones??? Tbh, I didnt go that route bc I didn’t want a piece that was too harsh on the eyes from being over a bright white background, but at least a softer white. …Now that I've written it out, it sounds like a dumb reason.😥

Or, was afraid that wasn’t finished enough for IG/social media? Maybe, especially since I wanted to have a red-orange pencil-sketch style in there. Maybe be a little more elaborate & have black cleaner ink lines & grey base tones (like your ‘quick traditionally-styled storyboard’ art style)?

Wait, I just remembered: could do sketches, but do that Natalie Nourigat “draw the pose 5 times” exercise.

The exception will be the Jenny Injured diptych (to still be colored but not further pushes gesture-wise (tbh, I again want to try to get done as quickly as possible)...plus, I'll just say, “something different.” 😉

Personal Preferences & Little Backburner

Imo, I like the shadow-less version. Jenny's legs contrast better with the background, and the colors are closer to what I ended up having in mind.

Yes, even the unconventional red-orange linework with cyan base colors😄. I’d actually been meaning to try that out on a piece; tbh, I just like red-orange/vermilion-colored pencil sketches.😊 I was doing another red-orange pencil, Krita sketch in October that I wanted to try that color scheme on, but the perspective needed retooling.😵‍💫

BTS

I actually had this, along with a thumbnail for a completely different piece, on the backburner. While I wanted to do the other one, I went with this more unclear-looking one. That way, I could finish it before I forgot what I had in mind.

After I was well into the finalized sketch, I found a 2nd, more pushed-gesture version of one of  the thumbnails. That’s when I decided to try not to spend too much time on this piece; I wanted to re-do it with this pushed gesture.

Also, after a while of using one of my go-to Krita watercolor brushes from last time (WaterC Flat Decay TIlt), I got really mentally exhausted. Played around with doing the painting stage in Adobe Fresco, but despite Fresco’s watercolor brushes feeling far more comfortable, I wanted to keep this artwork quick. Therefore, I just continued the painting in Krita.

Oh, and instead of erasing the extra pencil lines, I covered most of them up with white.

Plus, that monitor profile changing fixed my colors after all!😊 I’ve gotten my solution written down somewhere. I’ll try to post it sometime.

SELF CRITIQUE

(-) Iffy depth on the navy-blue block of color

(-) Mouth kinda looks like she’s smiling???

(+) Good foreshortening on Jenny & the chair

(+) Great gesture/line-of-action into the hurt leg; decently faithful to thumbnail’s gesture. Improvement from that in “A Place of a Contemplating Robot”

Shadow-less version

(-) L hand [our POV] gets lost in the sticking-out leg

Shadow-ed version

(-) Sticking-out leg disappears into the ground

(-) L arm should have harder edges on the shadow

 (+) L hand has hard-edged shadows

(-) Bent leg’s foot also has too soft of shadows

ART SUPPLIES

Hardware: Alienware x14, Huion Inspiroy H610PRO V2 pen tablet, & IMAGE Light Pad Stand A3

Software: Krita (art & timelapse), Autodesk Sketchbook (thumbnail & its timelapse)

Brushes:

(v 1.1) Krita Redux- Pencil (AFresco) - linework & white cover-ups. Less-aliased version of my custom brush

j) WaterC Flat Decay TIlt - hair, ”clothes”, belly button base colors, BG block, ground

(Dig.) Clean-Up Lines (Aliased) - Jenny white matte & chair base color

[nikkisheep]

I understand if this isn’t something your interested in but if you are and would write it that would be awesome!! Could you do a curvy fem wheeler reader x Eddie Munson one? The reader is Mike and Nancy’s older sister that left for college as soon as she was accepted. She’s a lot like Mike, she’s into dnd, the same type of music, nerdy comics and doesn’t fit in their little cookie cutter family. She’s got that hippie vintage vibe going on and actually left to go to art school. Most people forget they have an older sister because she’s just so much different than Nancy and their parents but to Mike she hangs the moon and is the coolest person ever. She’s the one person he can call for any kind of advice and is constantly telling the hellfire guys how cool she is. Well when she comes home for break and the boys need a sub they waste no time asking her, I mean she did teach them everything they know. Mike is so excited she’s playing and can’t wait to tell Eddie. Of course Eddie is excited to meet the older wheeler kid that is “Oh so amazing”. Let’s just say she’s everything he expected and then some, from her ripped up mom jeans to her tie dyed crop top, the long wild curly hair, tattoos and a nose piercing she’s nothing like her sister. He thinks he’s died and went to heaven.

(I know it’s a bit lengthy but I love the idea of Mike having a older sibling he looks up too and is into the same things he is, I feel like he doesn’t really have someone older to look up too like the other kids do.)

Eddie Munson x Wheeler!reader

Warnings: reader is a female, swearing, Mike looks up to reader, flirting (kinda), reader calls eddie pretty as a teasing way

Summary: Request above

Looking for a sub for Eddie's DnD was harder than Dustin and Mike thought, they had asked everyone they knew. No one wanted to hang out with the freaks of Hawkins. Especally, Eddie "the freak" Munson. They continued to ask but still no luck. They called it quites and went home.

---

You were laying on your stomach in your bed, flipping through one of Mike's comics that you knew he was going to threaten to kill you for taking. As the eldest Wheeler sibling, you took all of the disappointment from Mom and Dad, which left Mike and Nancy looking like angels.

You twirled your curled hair around your finger as you flipped another page. Your eyes scanned the words when a slam from the front door came. You weren't expecting your parents back until late tonight and school didn't end for a bit longer.

"Oh my God I hate this so much!" A young boy's voice yelled.

You smiled to yourself before hollering, "Maybe don't slam the front door."

You hear Mike gasp and hollered out a few "Hellos". You could not stop laughing at him. You hadn't seen him since you left for art school. You wanted to have an art studio by the age of twenty. You graduated at seventeen and left before you turned 18.

You rushed down the stairs, quietly, and grabbed Mike by the back of his neck. He let out a scream and tried to tackle you to the ground.

"Chill kiddo," You laugh.

"Y/n," He breathed before looking to make sure that you were really there.

"How's my little brat been?" You open your arms.

Normally, Mike didn't give many hugs unless they were for Eleven but still. He missed you. He was a lot closer to you than Nancy. You both felt that you didn't fit into the perfect family.

"Wha-When did you get back? Why are you here? I mean I-I am happy that you're here but like, why?" Mike scrambled out.

"Chill out dude, I came back to set up a studio."

"But about moving to New York?"

"Mike, my family is here. I missed playing DnD with you and the boys. I missed y'all."

He hugged you again.

"So, I have a campaign to go to tonight and we need a sub for Lucas," Mike started, "And I was wondering if you would want to fill in."

"Mike, I would be honored." You place a hand on your heart and smile.

Mike goes to phone the boys to tell them that he had a sub.

----

"Eddie, I am telling you, she is the best DnD player that I have ever seen. She is better than all of us put together," Mike said.

"I'm sure it's not that hard to be better than you," Eddie scoffed.

"He isn't lying, she is a badass." Dustin chipped in.

The boys nodded in agreement.

"She better be better than what you say she is, Wheeler."

Eddie didn't believe that anyone could be better than him. Mike was smug at the challenge that Eddie had given him. He knew that not only were you very good, but you also knew how to win.

"Oh I promise words don't do her justice."

----

Pulling up to the school, you step out of the car. Your tie die crop top was raised a bit from you stretching, your jeans hugged your hips very well. Your boots thudded against the ground before you walked inside the building.

Making your way to the DnD room, you could hear the guys yelling. You opened the door and the noise was louder.

"I'm sorry but this room is off limits to others during our game," A man with long curls yelled from his "throne".

"Y/n!" The boys yelled.

You nodded to them.

"Well, well, if it isn't the famous Wheeler sister?" The man said.

"Listen here, dude, I ain't got time for this so if you don't mind I would like to get to the game." You smirk at his faulter.

"Fiesty, Wheeler."

"Get to it," You smile.

You move to sit down but the man grabs your wrist gently.

"What level are you?"

"Level tweleve warlock," You smirk at the jaw clench he gives.

"What's wrong pretty? A girl can't be higher than you," You tease.

"Whatever, my name is Eddie."

---

The game starts but Eddie is not playing like he normally does. The boys notice that his attention is on your exposed cleavage and tattoos. He notices the nose piercing and the bird tattoo on your shoulder.

Eddie sends you down a dark cave and you clear out the enemies. Eddie is amazed and angry. He worked hard on this game. Normally, he goes home victory but now you were winning at every turn.

"Y/n what is your move?" Eddie asks.

"Go for the roll of eight," Mike shouts.

"Yeah, go with the eight." Dustin and the boys yell.

You roll and land an eight. The guys jump out of their seats and shout. The room is full of yells of victory. They finally beat their Dungon Master.

"Yes, Y/n you are the best," Mike yelled before giving you a hug.

You wrap your arms around him and cry out in victory. Eddie looks surprised.

"What's wrong Pretty?''

A jaw clench.

"Oh come on Pretty, try a little bit harder next time."

He steps closer to you, almost touching you.

He breathes, " You don't know how hard I can go."

"Maybe I want to," You whisper into the shell of his ear.

Eddie smirks.

"How are you so good at DnD?"

"Well, Pretty, I taught Mike and the boys everything they know."

"Well you didn't teach them very good," He laughs.

"I said I taught them everything they know, not everything I know."

You offer rides to the boys and wink at Eddie when you close the door.

"Jesus," Eddie whispers into the air.

[fatal-error-blog]

FATAL_ERROR COMIC AND CONTENT WILL RETURN JANUARY 2022!

TL;DR at the end~ Hey folks! I’m so sorry I’ve been absent from the blog and from the discord for such a long time. I mentioned that I was taking a break back in…oh geez, May? And that break has gone on for much longer than I expected XD Long story short, I am very okay! This has just been an exceptionally busy year, and I’ve had to rearrange my priorities a bit to navigate it all.

To be absolutely honest, I’ve just been burnt out. Not from just the comic, but from a lot of things outside the blog. And if you’ve ever been burnt out, then you know that it kinda doesn’t matter how passionate or excited you are to work on your projects - you just keep hitting a wall that doesn’t really let you progress. Unfortunately I hit that wall, haha. So I’ve been taking the time to recover from it. Legitimately, this blog post took several weeks longer than I wanted it to, just because I was trying to gather enough will to draw a cute little drawing to go along with it. Eventually I figured that it needed to go up without it.

It sucks to have to admit that I needed to step away from the comic, the blog, and the discord. It’s hard to admit to myself that I was having a hard time balancing everything and that despite being excited about where the comic was headed, I just physically and mentally had to take a break. It feels really bad to have a lot of fun ideas about what I want next for the story, for all the side comics and the graphic novel and just not be able to act on them because something within me is just tired and needs a minute before continuing. It sucks to disappoint everyone who’s come to love this story and is also just as excited to see what happens next.

I think deep down I’ve always been scared that I’d give up on the Fatal_Error comic, which is why I was hesitant to step away from it to take care of other things that had to be taken care of. But I think I know now that completing this story is so important to me that I could never give up on it. But I do know that I need to give myself time to get some other things in my life in order, so that I can get through the block and come back to the comic ready to keep moving forward. So I hope you’ll be patient with me and rejoin me when the comic starts back up in January 2022. I don’t want to bore ya’ll with details, but probably the biggest thing I’ve got going on outside of this blog is trying to advance my career. I work in game development (QA Tester, been that way for a few years) and I’m more than ready to move up in the development pipeline. So I’ve been dedicating a lot lot lot of my time trying to work on those skills and apply for jobs. It’s very time consuming, haha. And mentally taxing. So I’ve been using this time (and I’ll be using the rest of the year) to work on some indie projects, beef up my portfolio, and hopefully get hired for a better job than I have now. I can’t express how much that’s gonna relieve a lot of stress for me, and less stress = more energy to spend on the Fatal_Error comic.

I do still plan to stream working on these projects, it’s (probably) not gonna involve Fatal haha but there is a lot of art involved and me bumbling around trying to program which should be entertaining to some extent, so if that’s something you’re interested in I’ll mention whenever I’m planning on streaming and you’re more than welcome to pop in and see what all the fuss is about.

As for discord, I’m never really far ^_^ I keep discord open all the time, and even if I don’t post or do much in the discord, I’m always nearby to check in and available to talk if ya’ll need me. I’ll try to be more involved though <3

I think that’s the major stuff? I really am looking forward to hopping back into Fatal’s story once things calm down on my end. It’s been a really wonderful source of comfort and expression for me and I love where the story is going, and I love getting to share it with ya’ll. I’m sorry for making you all wait so long for what comes next, but as always, I sincerely hope that once we get there, it’ll be worth the wait. Thank you for your patience, your kindness, and your enthusiasm. I’ll be around (and catching up on the inbox, messages, etc haha), but in terms of the comic, I’ll see ya’ll in January 2022 <3

Stay determined! I know I will be ^_^ <3 Xedra

TL;DR:

Is the comic over?/Is the blog dead? Nope! Just on pause until January 2022. What about the volume 2 of the graphic novel? Also on pause! I’m hoping to open preorders in March/April 2022. Are you okay? Yup! Thank you for asking, and I’m sorry for making you worry. What are you going to be doing in the meantime? I’m going to be working on some game development projects. I’m working on applying for jobs and I need stuff for my portfolio, and I also want to make sure I have something to do after Fatal_Error is finished ^_^ Are you still gonna stream? Yup! It’ll probably be non-Fatal_Error stuff but you’re more than welcome to watch me work! I’ll make a post about it when I have the times and stuff sorted out. Are you gonna be back on discord? Slowly, but yup. I’ll kinda chill in the background if you need me. You gonna play Deltarune Chapter 2? HEcK YEAH MY DUDE

[fanficsfromyesteryear]

Hi! Can I request headcanons for dating marcus (deadly class)? Thank you

HEADCANONS FOR DATING MARCUS LOPEZ ARGUELLO

A/N: Just a head’s up, I got a little carried away, so this is kinda long lol. Also, sorry this took forever! I’ve been suuuuuper busy lately :/ I almost had it done before work picked back up, but I couldn’t figure out how to end it. Anyway, I hope you like it!!

Before the two of you started dating, Marcus had no idea that you liked him, and for good reason

You did such a good job with hiding your feelings that sometimes even you forgot they were there, which was kind of the whole point

With girls like Saya and Maria around, sending out mixed signals and dropping subtle hints that they liked Marcus, too, it was intimidating

Add Marcus’s constant cynicism about love, and life in general, into the mix, and it was clear the chances of him actually liking you back were next to nothing

So, you knew it was probably for the best to move on

You used the “if you ignore it, it’ll go away” approach in the hopes that if you simply didn’t acknowledge your feelings, the problem would disappear

All this did, however, was create a whole new issue

Somewhere along the way, you’d begun to take the thought process of ‘ignoring your crush’ too literally

You and Marcus were best friends, so when, out of the blue, you stopped talking to him, he could tell something was up

He had no clue what, though

Naturally, he assumed it was something he had done

Marcus started asking around among your mutual friends to see if they knew anything, but they were all just as out of the loop as he was

You hadn’t told anyone about your repressed feelings for Marcus, and you had no intention of letting the secret slip any time soon, but accidents happen

The truth came out one night during a game of truth or dare when you were up on the roof smoking with the Rats

Your confession came tumbling out quicker than you could even think about reeling the words back in

“You hear that, Romeo?” Billy asked, elbowing Marcus in the ribs. “Y/N’s got the hots for you”

All Marcus could do was laugh nervously as he looked down at his feet, refusing to meet your gaze

To your relief, no one brought it up again for the rest of the game

When the next day rolled around and your crush on Marcus still wasn’t the topic of conversation, you started to think that you were in the clear

Maybe they’d all been too stoned to remember when they’d woken up that morning

Your hopes were shattered by the late afternoon

As you left the bathroom, Marcus spotted you from across the hall

He quickly rushed over and caught you by the elbow, dragging you back through the doorway

“Relationships aren’t really my thing,” he said

Marcus sounded like he had more to say, but before he got the chance, you cut him off

“It’s fine,” you said. “I get it”

“No, no. I mean, I like you, Y/N, really. I just don’t wanna mess it up”

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face even if you tried

“You’re not gonna mess it up”

Before either of you could say more, the bathroom door opened and Petra walked in

She glanced between the two of you knowingly

“Hate to break this up, but if I hold this piss in any longer, I’ll explode”

With that, she pushed past you both, effectively ruining the moment

It didn’t take long after that for you and Marcus to make your relationship official

‘Official’ is a bit of a loose term in this case

For the most part, both of you kept the fact that you were dating fairly under the radar for fear of what others would do with that information

In a place like King’s Dominion, something as small as caring for another person beyond using them as an ally was seen as a weakness that could and would be used against you, and the last thing either of you wanted was to be put in a situation where you were pitted against each other

Of course, there were several instances when one (or both) of you nearly blew your cover

Such as in Martial Arts class

Instead of fighting you, Marcus would try to cop a feel

You’d quickly smack his hand away

“Miss De Luca’s right there!”

“She’s not looking”

In defense of both of you, though, a class in which hormonal teenagers are asked to pair themselves up and wrestle is practically an invitation to break the ‘no sex’ rule

The other classes you shared weren’t any better

Master Lin caught you and Marcus staring at each other instead of paying attention on multiple occasions, earning both of you a smack from his cane

Although Marcus was somewhat known for his smart mouth and talking back to authority, he knew better than to challenge Lin, not mention that if he did, he’d risk exposing the two of you in the process

So, Marcus bit back his insults and held in his tirade until the two of you were safely locked away in his dorm room

“He had no right to hit you like that”

“I’m fine,” you assured him, shoving another tissue up your nose to stop the bleeding. “Besides, he does it to everyone”

“That still doesn’t give him the right”

“Next time, I’m gonna stick that cane right up his ass”

Marcus wanted to shield you from all the violence at King’s, but when it was coming from teachers, there wasn’t much he could do about it

If it was a fellow student pushing you around, on the other hand, there was no holding him back

You loved how protective Marcus was of you, but sometimes you worried that he’d get carried away

Marcus always made sure you were never around to witness the fights take place, but the scrapes and bruises on his face that hadn’t been there when you saw him that morning were all the proof you needed

In such cases, you would insist on patching him up afterwards

The first few times this happened, Marcus was embarrassed by all the attention you were giving him

After a while, though, he grew to love the feeling of having someone fuss over him, especially if it was you

It was nice to have someone care about him for a change

You weren’t much of a fighter, but making sure he didn’t get Tetanus was your way of looking out for him

When you and Marcus weren’t getting into trouble, you were actually a pretty cute couple

Your roommates became accustomed to the two of you being a package deal, which often meant sneaking into each other’s rooms after lights out

Sometimes, it was to make out, but other times, it was so you could have late night conversations that you didn’t get the chance to have during the day

The topics of these conversations varied—they could be deep and philosophical (which was Marcus’s favorite kind), an opportunity to open up to each other about yourselves and your pasts, a time to plot someone’s death (usually only theoretically), or simply joking around

After especially long days, you would accidentally drift off in the middle of these nightly chats with your head on Marcus’s chest, but he never minded

He’d pull the covers up on your side and wrap his arms more tightly around you

While both of you were perfectly capable of pulling all-nighters, whenever you fell asleep, Marcus was never far behind

The sound of your evened-out breathing was like a lullaby to him, so it was safe to say that his sleep schedule drastically improved after the two of you started dating

You’d found that you slept better with Marcus, too, so on the few nights you spent apart, you’d doze off listening to the mixtapes he’d made you in your Walkman, which were full of your favorite songs and songs that reminded him of you (though, these had quickly become your favorites, too)

It was rare that the two of you weren’t together, though

Even during the day, you and Marcus were practically joined at the hip

At lunch, you would hold hands under the table and share food

Of course, this always opened the door for plenty of teasing from your friends, especially Lex

“While you’re at it, why don’t you chew the food up for each other and pass it back and forth like little birds?”

“Fuck off, Lex”

It was always in good fun, though

Actually, the other Rats were relieved when the two of you finally got together because the weird tension that had been brewing leading up to that point went away, meaning group hangouts could carry on normally

They could overlook you sitting in Marcus’s lap if it meant you weren’t being distant and secretive

Just like they pretended not to notice when you showed up to class wearing each other’s blazers by mistake after spending the night together

Or walking in late looking ✨especially disheveled✨

All in all, you and Marcus are King’s Dominion’s cutest couple™️ that only, like, five other people know about, but still-

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Portrait of a Dangerous Man🎨2

Warnings: (series) non-consent sex and rape; slow creep; cucking; (this chapter) nothing as yet.

This is dark!mob!Clark Kent x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: Your dream of having your work hung in an art show comes true but your first buyer is not all he seems to be.

Note: Thank you for your positive response to this one! I hope you enjoy what I have in store.

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Your Spotify list of redundant tracks flowed through the apartment as you sat typing at your small desk in the corner of the front room. The boxy space was as oppressive as any office space, another reason for your voluntary work at the gallery. Vanessa let you in the studio to paint. Without the privilege, you wouldn’t have the space for your easel.

You stretched your fingers and rubbed your eyes. You felt dizzy from staring at the screen, even with night mode on. The work was monotonous and made you restless. You wanted a pencil or brush in hand, a canvas before you, not this blaring laptop. You yawned and took a sip of your lukewarm water.

Your phone vibrated from across the room and you checked the time. Your lunch started soon but no one was really keeping track. As long as you got your assignments done, it didn’t matter when you chewed on toast and disassociated.

You got up and grabbed your phone from the corner table and leaned against the arm of the couch. You remembered how Marcus woke up there and grumbled as he lifted his head in pain. You couldn’t really feel bad for him going into work hungover. He embarrassed you and it didn’t quite sink in until after Clark left you to stare down at your drunk boyfriend.

An unknown number showed on your screen and you answered tentatively, ready to hang up at the first sales pitch. Your name came from the speaker and you recognized the deep voice in an instant. It took you back to the night before and the canvas hung on the wall.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you,” Clark said, “I only just had the paintings hung and I thought… well, I thought you might like to come see them in their new home.”

“Um…” you chewed your thumb, uncertain how to respond.

“Sorry, I know I can be a bit… to the point,” he laughed at himself, “how are you?”

“I’m good, just… taking a break.”

“You working?”

“Yeah, but I work from home,” you said as you touched the side of your neck, “I could… I could come see them but it might be a while before--”

“When are you finished work?” he asked bluntly.

“Four but I… maybe another day.”

“I don’t mean to be pushy but I did have something else to speak with you about,” he said, “a commission, like I mentioned.”

“Oh?”

“I kinda wanna get it started sooner than later, it will probably be pretty time-consuming,” he explained and you heard a clink and a soft sip, “I don’t wanna get into details on the phone but I promise, you will be compensated nicely.”

“You can’t wait until tomorrow?” you wondered.

“I suppose I can but it’d have to be during the day,” he responded, “why don’t you take some time to figure it out and get back to me by two? You can text me through this number.”

“Erm, sure,” you said uneasily, “I’m sorry, it’s just… very sudden, I don’t--”

“You can bring the boyfriend,” he said casually, “if you like.”

“He won’t be… home,” you said carefully, “I’ll let you know. Thank you.”

“I look forward to hearing from you,” he replied, “have a good day.”

“You, too,” you said and the line died.

You put your phone down and took a moment. Good things rarely happened to you. You struggled so long it was hard to think that might change. The skeptic in you told you there was something behind it all. That it couldn’t possibly be your art.

You went back to your computer and sighed as you waved away the screensaver with your mouse. The blinking cursor made you want to believe it was your big break.

🎨

You texted Clark at one and at four, you were in an Uber. Marcus drove his car to work and you stuck to buses and the underground when you could. The address was at least an hour out, the house among those estates on the edge of the city reserved for the upper echelon. You’d only ever seen the sprawling yards on your way to the next town.

When the car finally turned up the drive and you passed beyond a low brick wall, you felt entirely out of your depth. You tipped the Uber but didn’t feel too bad with the check from Vanessa sitting soundly in your account. You clutched the strap of your bag and walked along the curve of the brick work towards the stairs.

“Hey,” you stopped as Clark called to you, your ankle still tender from the night before.

You glanced over as he came out of the large garage and peeled off a pair of leather gloves. He smiled as he tucked them into his jacket pocket. You watched him and played with the clasp on your bag.

“Just got back from a drive,” he said, “I almost got carried away. I’m glad you made it.”

“Yeah, no problem,” you replied.

“Well, come on, let me show you around,” he waved behind you towards the front doors, “we’ll go on a tour and then we can talk details.”

“Wow,” you uttered mindlessly as you climbed the stairs to the door but kept the weight on your uninjured ankle, “this place is huge.”

“My contractor went a little crazy,” he scoffed, “but I can’t complain.”

He led you through the doors and directed you to the left. In the front room, your work was hung along the opposite wall, arranged in a way that drew the eye to them. You stepped closer and peered up at your work with a hint of awe. They looked even better in a place like that.

“I had my interior designer make the final call on where to hang them,” he explained, “I hope you don’t mind, I gave her your details. She said she had clients who might be interested in your work.”

“Really?” you breathed, “that’s… too nice.”

“Oh yeah? One day, you’ll be sick of rich pricks like me,” he grinned, “I’ll show you the pool, that’s usually the main attraction.”

“Sounds good,” you said as you followed but he paused and watched your stunted gait.

“I forgot, we can go slow,” he offered, “how’s the ankle?”

“I’ll make do,” you affirmed as you neared him, “just need to get my steps in.”

🎨

As you finished the tour of the second floor, you slowed along the long hall and admired the work of artists you only ever saw in museums. You couldn’t help but be enamoured by the historic blots of paint. You almost forgot where you were as you leaned in to read the initials beneath the pastel flowers.

“So,” Clark’s voice brought you back, you almost blanked him out entirely in your mind, “I think you might have noticed the empty space above the fireplace in the front room. I was hoping you could fill it.”

“Oh?” you looked at him and smiled nervously, “did you have something in mind? A landscape or--”

“Well, your portraits are great. I like the old world style. I was hoping you might do one of… me,” he suggested, “I know, it’s vain but why not?”

“I mean, yeah, I could do that,” you said.

“I’ll pay hourly plus materials,” he continued, “three hundred an hour.”

You almost choked at the number. You blinked and swallowed through your surprise.

“Even a small portrait would take at least twelve hours,” you warned, “are you sure?”

“I know it’s a lot of time for you, so… I was thinking, if you have to miss work, I’ll factor it into your rate. I would really like to get the project started as soon as we can,” he put his hand on his hip as he looked down at you, “the only thing I need from you is a list of materials. I’ll have them waiting for you here.”

“Here?”

“Well, yeah, I figure it makes most sense,” he turned his palm out.

“Hmm, sure, I prefer my own brushes but… you know I can just buy the stuff myself--”

“Ah, no, I want it to be perfect. You send me a list and I’ll have my assistant go out and get it all ready,” he assured, “How does Sunday sound?”

“Sunday?” you blanched. That was two days away.

“Like I said, Marcus is more than welcome to come with you,” he offered, “I’d hate to keep you from him too long.”

“I guess Sunday works,” you squeaked, “I’ll talk to Marcus.”

“Great,” he said coolly, “well, that’s business. How about a drink to seal the deal?”

“I don’t know, I should probably get back,” you fiddled with your bag against your hip.

“One drink won’t hurt,” he said, “go on, call the boyfriend and let him know you won’t be much longer.”

“I… thanks,” you murmured.

“You’re humble for an artist,” he joked as he sidled by you, “once you grow an ego, you’ll be unstoppable.” He neared the stairs as you turned to watch him, “I’ll be at the bar, waiting. You like gin?”

“Sure,” you answered as you pulled out your phone, “I’ll see you down there.”

🎨

When you told Marcus about your new side gig, he was even more excited than you. You were anxious and slightly hesitant. You hated to jump in feet first and risk losing more than a few tubes of paint. What if the work wasn’t good enough?

Marcus was more than willing to come with you when you told him about the size of the place. He knew by the area that it was extravagant. You sat in the passenger seat with the most expensive bottle of wine you’d ever bought cradled between your legs. You hated to show up empty handed after all of Clark’s generosity.

Marcus got lost and went down the wrong driveway before you righted your course. As you drove up, you were once more overcome from the rich rosebuds and sparkling fountain at the centre of the mosaic. You gripped the neck of the bottle and got out as Marcus whistled in awe.

“You weren’t kidding. This place is fucking nuts,” he swore, “I should’ve worn the tux from my brother’s wedding.”

“Please, Marcus,” you rolled your eyes, “let’s both try not to break anything.”

“You’re the clumsy one,” he chirped, “shit, you’re so lucky. You get to hang out here and paint all day? God, I wish I had an ounce of artistic talent. I’d trade it for code in a minute.”

You climbed the steps and clanged the large knocker on the right door. You waited a moment before an answer came and Clark appeared on the other side and beckoned you inside. He smiled as he shook Marcus’ hand.

“Thanks for joining us,” he said, “I would’ve felt awful stealing your girlfriend on the weekend like this.”

“Are you kidding me? She said you had a pool and I snuck the swim shorts into the backseat,” Marcus chuckled and you nudged him with your elbow.

“See?” Clark arched a brow, “the pool is always the seller.”

“Here,” you said as you held out the bottle of red, “for everything you’ve done and welcoming us into your home.”

“Ohhh,” he took the bottle and looked over the label, “I got a spot for this right behind the bar. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, I brought my brushes,” you patted the canvas bag on your shoulder.

“Mmm, yeah, well, I’ll just put this away and we’ll give Marcus the grand tour. Then I’ll get you situated,” he assured and rushed off.

He returned and pointed Marcus through to the front room, “you’ll see, just over here,” he directed him to your paintings.

“Oh, wow, babe,” Marcus marveled at the hung portraits, “you really did it.”

You smiled bashfully and Clark peeked over at you and winked. You squirmed as your cheeks burned and you turned away as he beckoned Marcus past the mantle.

“It’s a big place,” Clark said, “I’d like to get you started before noon.”

Clark led you along the same path as days before and slowed as you came back to the top of the stairs. He turned back and clapped his hands together.

“Marcus, if you wanna hop in the pool, we’re gonna start just in there,” he pointed to the one door you hadn’t looked through, “that’s the studio.”

“What about you?” Marcus asked.

“Well, I’ll be a part of the process so I’m afraid I will be just as busy but if you need anything, Nina, she has a crooked nose and mean mouth but don’t let her fool you, she’ll get you whatever you need,” he said, “just don’t track in water from the pool or she’ll string you up.”

“Oh, well, that doesn’t sound too bad. Some alone time in the sun and a pool,” Marcus grinned, “I really couldn’t ask for anything else… except you, babe.”

“Sure,” you scoffed, “go, have fun.”

Marcus kissed you quickly and thanked Clark again before he excitedly barreled down the steps. You scratched your neck as you looked back to your host, and you guessed, your new boss.

“I’m sorry about him. He can be such a kid sometimes,” you said.

“Nah, it’s fine,” he waved it off, “so, you ready to see your workspace? I kinda wanted it to be a surprise. Also, a bit last minute so it’s not perfect… yet.”

“Uh, yeah,” you answered, “can’t wait.”

He motioned you over to the tall dusty rose doors and hooked his fingers in the slotted handles. He slid them open and revealed an airy room with a tall ceiling and long windows. An easel stood facing the sun streaked glass, an immense canvas bigger than yourself, bigger than him, propped up on it. There was a ladder nearby and the table was set with a rainbow of paints and a large pallet.

Your lips parted as you neared the easel and stared up at the canvas, “you were right, it’s gonna be a lot of work.”

“I hope it’s not too much,” he said, “but you name your price. We’ll make it work.”

“No, no, I think for what you’re paying, I’ll do just fine,” you put your bag down daintily on the table, “so, uh, a portrait, I guess that means…”

Your voice trailed off as he went to the upholstered chair across the room, at an angle so you could see him from your vantage. Behind it, hung a velvet curtain to add to the scene and a bust on a pedestal. It felt surreal, like a dream.

You turned and pulled out the brushes, “I think you’ll get more tired than me, just sitting there.”

“I’ll make it through,” he assured as he sat, “is there anyway you’d like me to sit? Chin up, or…”

“Hmmm,” you turned to look at him, “I think… if you just put your shoulders back and… did you want a profile or--”

“I was thinking front-facing,” he stared at you steadily, unflinching as his eyes stuck to you, “just like this.”

“Perfect,” you said nervously and looked back to the table. 

There was water to rinse your brushes, rags, pencils, blending sticks; everything you needed and more. You took a pencil from the bunch and pulled over the ladder. You climbed up and looked over at Clark as he sat stoic and still. He looked picturesque in real life, you expected paint would only lend to his figure.

His eyes met yours and you turned to start tracing the basic shapes onto the canvas. You had to stop and steady your hand as you did. His gaze made it hard not to tremble.