#I need to force myself to do these
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I need to draw Oh my god
#Please gimme things to draw#Ocs even#I need to force myself to do these#My ocs your ocs characters from games (as long as I know them) please
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Pangur is THRILLED that I have mono! her favourite thing in the world is napping with me
#pangur#now that I have a diagnosis I feel a lot better about how tired I am#I've been forcing myself to stay awake with espressos trying to stay productive#but now I'm like nah........let's just sleep.#(THOUGH I DO STILL NEED TO HAVE SOME PRODUCTIVITY IN ORDER TO PAY OFF ALL OF BELPHIE'S MEDICAL BILLS)#(AHHHHHHHHHH!)
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he did it! 🐍 and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!
PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 9 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 9 spoilers#snakes#ONE MORE DOWN#oh my god happy jamil was SO scary and yet adorable all at once#i want real jamil to see him and just be utterly disgusted#and yet he got nothing on the return of everyone's favorite twst character: WEIRD RHYTHMIC ELEPHANT#oh weird rhythmic elephant what would we do without you#me kicking my stupid little feet as jamil wakes up through sheer force of kalim though#he was SO happy for jamil and SO ready to just go along with everything. my sweet boy.#jamil getting so flustered by him that he's just shocked back into reality#and the SLAPFIGHT#silver being like 'they need this' and doing his one smile animation as kalim and jamil are pulling on each other's hair and going YOU SMEL#mmm yes delicious#also this is probably nothing but#but...they brought up the whole thing with azul having dirt on crowley again#the thing that was briefly alluded to in episode 4 and never mentioned ever again?!#i had JUST finally convinced myself that i was reading too much into it and it was just azul playing along with jamil's plan#but now they've mentioned it again and i'm going to be all BUT WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAAAN for another three years about it#is it a meaningless reference to that one scene?! is it absolutely ridiculous foreshadowing?! am i ever going to be validated?!#I HAVE TO KNOW
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier
#xmen#mcu#xmen movies#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous#i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself#in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society#sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM#and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that#NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair#for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY#the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig#i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented#anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik#genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show#more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day#bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days
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I think when people think of mental illness and what helps, especially with things like anxiety and depression, the treatment involves pushing yourself. Pushing yourself to get out of bed, to exercise, to take a shower, to go out in public, to order your own food from the cashier, etc.
And because the mental health movement has grown so much, people think that's the default of ALL illnesses. That the only way someone will get better is if they push themselves. That practice makes perfect. That you'll become more comfortable or strong over time the more you do something.
But what people need to realize is, with physical disabilities and chronic illnesses, pushing yourself in most cases is DETRIMENTAL. Pushing yourself past your limits can lead to flare ups or further injury. That's why it's important to know your limits, how certain activities may affect your condition, and learn how to either adapt or get help to complete the activity in question.
Also, most of us are already pushing ourselves. Most of us don't have access to the help or equipment we need. Most of us live in places where we frequently encounter inaccessible obstacles. Most of us NEED to rest.
So please don't try to be our physical therapists or doctors. There are people specifically trained to help us navigate our own conditions and limitations. There are people trained to help us strengthen our body's resilience without causing flare-ups or injury. Do not tell us "it'll be good for you" or "you need the exercise" when we say something is too heavy or too far or when we say we need our mobility aid(s). Your friend with depression may need to be encouraged to get out of bed, but your friend with chronic illness definitely doesn't.
Respect our rest.
#wrenfea.exe#DISCLAIMER: dont take this as me saying you should be pushing your mentally ill friends#this is more about how physical conditions often differ in how they are treated#also dont like. force your friends or anyone with anxiety to do things they dont want to#thats what therapists are for#also most mental illnesses require medication alongside therapy before they can get better#but even chronic illnesses and disabilities that benefit from exercise still require knowing your limits#and not being pressured to push past them#ive noticed some professionals who help both mentally and physically ill patients tend towards the push method#like my therapist and sometimes my counselors fall back on that method#and i have to remind them i am already pushing myself#and i need to adapt rather than push forward#chronic disability#chronic pain#spoonie#disability#chronic illness#cripple punk#cripplepunk#cpunk
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finished a dtiys from @isjasz i love it when they dance
edit: holy shit it's so blurry on mobile click and zoom bc it looks sm better lmao
crop idk man im bad at making full body drawing good T-T
#where does the rim light come fro- shhhhhhhhhhhhh#desert duo#goodtimeswithscar#grian#life series#scarian#mcyt#gtws#isjasz darkless dtiys#fanart#i keep trying to force myself to do line art and then i complain about my suffering#but i need to learn it so i can make comics and not die#flatting is also terrible btw#nhyhu.art
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One Year of Only Friends ○ Ray Pakorn Edition Episode One ○ original air date August 12th, 2023
#only friends the series#ofts#ray pakorn#oftsedit#khaotung thanawat#asianlgbtqdramas#userjamiec#tuserrowan#userbon#tusersilence#tuserhidden#tostrangers#esmetracks#fordaniseyes#my gifs#my edits#mine: only friends#ofts anniversary#mine: ray#mine: khaotung thanawat#ofs ray#i threatened to do ray-only sets#two people vaguely alluded to the fact that i should#and we all know i need absolutely no encouragement to lose my mind about this kid#i'll post the second one when i finish it but i wanna go play dumb vidyer games for a bit#so it may be tomorrow or sth#then i'm on sched for ep 3 stuff#i have no intention of doing sand because these ones have taken so long#tho i do have a few random sand gifs i could shove together at some point maybe#because in doing full episode sets i do have to force myself to not make them entirely sandray lmaooo
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(part 1 here) (part 2 here)
Gareth, in a feat of truly impressive self-restraint, lasted all the way through their band practise before asking.
The four of them packed into Eddie’s van. Gareth had ultimate dibs on the front seat since he’d known Eddie the longest, despite being in different grades.
“So,” he said, breaking the expectant silence. “Steve Harrington?”
Eddie groaned and let his head thunk against the steering wheel, not even flinching when the horn sounded. “Please don’t.”
“Nah, man. It’s all good,” Jeff soothed as he leaned through the gap between the front seats. “We’ve not got a problem with it, but Harrington? Really? Not exactly your type.”
Eddie laughed humourlessly. “You don’t even know the half of it.”
Gareth turned in his seat to share a loaded look with the two sat in the back as Eddie started the van. They were planning to find out the all of it.
“And you guys just don’t have a problem with it?” Eddie asked once they were well on the road to Loch Nora. “I know you don’t exactly have the best memories of him from school.”
Eddie tapped his fingers against the steering wheel in a rhythm that didn’t even match the tape that was playing quietly. He was nervous and Eddie hated being anything other than completely sure of himself.
“You’re right, we don’t have the best memories of him, but the guy saved your life, Eddie,” Gareth reminded him gently.
It was the worst phone call he’d ever received in his life. He couldn’t imagine getting another one like it. Wayne on the other end, breathing shakily as he told Gareth that Eddie was in the hospital, that he wasn’t waking up but that he was going to be okay and that he thought Eddie would really like it if his best friends, his brothers, were there when he woke up.
It had been hard seeing Eddie like that, small, frail and paler than usual, no rings or battle vest, no Eddie. Steve and Wayne had been sat at his bedside, both just staring into the middle distance, when they had filtered into the room. Gareth remembered so vividly the sinking feeling that he felt at the quiet. Eddie hated the quiet, he was never quiet.
And maybe it had been the wrong thing to do, to interrupt Steve and Wayne in such a way, but Gareth knew Eddie. Wayne, for all he tried, never really understood his nephew and Steve was clearly a new development.
So he started talking. He talked about school, about the assignment he was working on, and he talked about the girl that worked behind the counter of Camelot, and he talked about his mom chewing him out for almost crashing her car. Jeff and Grant, who knew exactly what he was doing, picked up the thread when it sounded like he was running out of steam.
He just couldn’t stand to let Eddie exist like that.
Gareth owed him that much. Gareth owed him everything.
Eddie who had stood on lunch tables and made himself the centre of attention, the target, when Gareth couldn’t fight off the tears after getting an F on his history midterm. Eddie who got them their first paying gig as Corroded Coffin and pushed them all to take their music seriously.
He joked about them being his sheep, but he wasn’t exactly wrong.
“Yeah, man,” Grant doubled down. “We can’t hate him anymore. Without him you wouldn’t be here. And you trust him?”
“With my life,” Eddie confirmed with conviction.
“Then that’s good enough for us. It’s all water under the bridge,” Jeff concluded. “Now turn that fucking music up, I don’t want to cry in the back of your shitty van, Ed.”
Eddie cracked the music up with a blubbery laugh and all four of them yelled along with Ozzy for the rest of the drive.
The door to the Harrington house was opened before they even got out of the car. Steve stood there, excitement buzzing around him.
"Ed," Gareth stopped him with a hand on his arm before Eddie could scamper off. "Do they know about you?"
Eddie shook his head. "Only Buckley."
Gareth nodded once and jumped out of the van. He was still too short to climb out normally, and at seventeen, he didn't have much hope for a late growth spurt to help him out with it.
“You been waiting for us all this time, Stevie?” Eddie teased as he slammed his door shut.
Steve laughed, stepping out the door with bare feet on the porch so he could accept Eddie’s hug. He didn’t have a shirt on, pink scars on full display, and short yellow swim shorts on. It was nothing short of a miracle that Eddie still had the brain cells to flirt.
“We could hear you guys coming all the way up the street.” He explained as Eddie let go of him. “Ozzy?”
“Oh for fuck sake,” Jeff muttered from his place at Gareth’s shoulder. “How is Ed not seeing this?”
“He had to do senior year three times, dude.” Grant fired back from Gareth’s other side, but still not loud enough for Eddie or Steve to hear. “Steve could plant one on him right now and he’d still find a way to make it a just friends thing.”
Steve, having finally managed to pull his focus away from Eddie long enough to see his other guests, waved them over. “Come on in guys.”
Gareth made sure to share with Steve what he hoped past for a friendly, macho and athletic half handshake as he passed him to go through the door.
“Thanks again for having us. You really didn’t have to invite us,” Grant said, using the good manners his father taught him.
Steve clapped him on the shoulder. “No way, man. I’ve been trying to get Teddy to bring you guys over for ages. He talks about you all the time.”
“You talk about us, Ed?” Gareth asked with a shit eating grin.
Eddie pushed at his shoulder, sending Gareth stumbling towards the open french doors. “Yeah and I’ll talk about Tammy Thompson if you don’t shut up.”
Jeff and Gareth snickered together. They knew all about Gareth’s benadryl induced dream about Tammy Thompson because when he told them he was still half high on the same benadryl.
Gareth huffed but didn’t say anything. He didn’t doubt that Eddie would follow through with his threat if pushed.
Out in the garden, it seemed that the party was already in full swing. There were scattered cans, Robin and Nancy were giggling together at something, and s portable stereo playing The Cure.
Steve smiled shyly. “We got started without you.”
His voice seemed to draw the attention of the other four people. They all stopped in the middle of their conversations.
“Whoa, dude,” The guy with long hair that Gareth didn’t recognise said to break the silence. “Your cult looks super culty.”
Gareth froze. Jeff and Grant did too.
But Eddie, determined to always surprise them, just laughed. “Not a cult, my man.” He kicked his shoes off by the door (surprising how little care he paid them since he sulked for a week straight when Jeff accidentally scuffed them) and started making his way over to the sun loungers. “This the legendary Corroded Coffin. Gareth, Jeff and Grant.”
He pointed them out each in turn then shucked off his shirt and started working the intricate handcuff clasp of his belt.
Gareth pretended he didn’t hear the strangled noise that came from Steve’s throat.
“And guys, this is Argyle. You know everyone else.”
Gareth waved politely but awkwardly and it was returned by a chorus of ‘hello’s.
Once Eddie had divested himself of his jeans, the black swim shorts he had forced underneath them sitting starkly against his pale skin, he dipped back in his jeans pocket to pull out two perfectly rolled joints.
“I brought party favours!” He waved them in front of Argyle’s face how he would sometimes play with the stray cats that skulked around Forest Hills.
Grant groaned. “Eddie, you know I can’t afford weed right now.”
Eddie scoffed at him. “These’s ones are on the house, Ad-Grant-age. This is a party after all.”
Steve, somehow having forced himself out of the trace that Eddie’s torso had put him in, was the first to start moving. “You guys can change inside if you want. There’s bedrooms upstairs or the bathroom just past the kitchen. I’ll get some more drinks. Can we switch this tape?”
The rambling did nothing to hide the redness of his cheeks. If anything it just brought more attention to them.
“Your tapes are shit, Steveo,” Robin informed him happily. “But this one is also awful, so yes I will change it just for you.” She ignored Jonathan’s annoyed hey and beckoned Steve to follow her.
Eddie settled on the sun lounger next to Argyle, already having pulled a lighter from somewhere.
Gareth took that as his cue to drag Jeff and Grant inside to change.
Jeff, as soon as they were out of hearing range, asked, “When has Eddie ever given us free weed?”
Gareth shook his head. “I’ve known about this crush for less than a week and I’m already tired of it. We have to do something to get them together.”
Grant narrowed his eyes. “You already have a plan, don’t you?”
He pushed them both towards the bathroom. “Get changed, our work starts today.”
(part 4)
#steddie#eddie munson#gareth emerson#steve harrington#corroded coffin#bit of a longer one but Gareth was having feelings and i needed to let him have his feelings#pool party/ operation get steve and eddie together planning party next part#again if you asked to be tagged; i don't do that because it makes me anxious and i wouldn't write anything#so figured it was better to write the stuff and not tag people than force myself into anxiety and never post anything again :)#my fic
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reposting some old doodles i still enjoy a bit
#a doodley#guys im having realizations i dont really know what to do with#ive said this tons before but my main issue with art rn is like#i Know anatomy. and what it's Meant to look like. my issue is straying away from Correct and going with Good like how some of my stuff was#before i really started learning. loose and not restricted#but my obstacle is that nobody draws the way i want to draw. and im bad at coming up with my own stuff...i need to copy and osmose off#someone else. well. it turns out there is someone who draws the way i draw. and its cheye of the past.#dont get me wrong if i look thru the rest of the art in the (year) folder these came from; 80% of it sucks#i wish i cld have what past cheye had but with current cheye tweaks and refinement#but idk how to do that. something weird has happened to my mind i really cant envision and make art the same way anymore#idk how he did it back then....i wish i Knew bc current me cant make anything out of sketching or thumbnails or just going at it#arghhh#i try and force myself to draw stuff like this now (interactions) and it looks. so stiff. and bad proportion wise but idk how to fix it#which isnt to say the proportions (for example) in THESE drawings are perfect but they dont scream Wrong or Bad or Incorrect to me ykwim...#idk! idk what to do with this. ive never known how to go back and study my own stuff
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I hope this isn't weird but I've been reading this by @batmanisagatewaydrug and I had like the sudden, strongest urge to make art properly for the first time in ages, so uhhhh have some Jessie (or Jess? Can I call her Jess because I love her?) who is a terrible wet cat of a woman!
I wanted to get this done fast and human anatomy is not my forte so I traced a picture of Natalie in the City, who's a fashion blogger and has some cute fits, though no supervillain ones as far as I'm aware :3
#ham art#i think jessie lies wetly fixed my art block?#after i started this it motivated me to finish off a little comic that's been in my drafts forever and post it and i've got anime fanart#rotating in my mind now! :D maybe i'll even finish off my valentine's unburied art from last year#also i know the tiny underboob window's wrong because she wears a bra that would render that salacious little bit of skin invisible#but i just could not resist#i hope i've done her justice!#jessie is the coolest and awfulest and i love her she's so fun to read thank u op#also i've come to the realization that if i'm just having fun drawing i don't actually have to do the parts that aren't fun i can skip that#if i find drawing human proportions and perspective in general stressful and just wanted to do the fun outfits and face/makeup and hair#i can do that! this is like. a hobby. so i don't need to laboriously force myself to get better at anatomy if i don't wanna#also also i was so pleased that i guessed ricochet's colouring correctly on the first try! (except i missed the freckles)
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michaela addison
#would you kiss her behind a bookshelf and write secret messages in the footnotes ?…#i need to do a variety of posts i wanna explore backgrounds#i literally have so many in an alt cas background folder 🫡 they literally sit there and rot i am a horrible mother#holding a gun to my head and forcing myself to do that next#*michaela addison#mine#cas
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doing a lil redraw
#my art#described in alt text#it popped up in my traffic and i realized it's been a year since i've drawn it so!! redraw it is :D#forced myself to choose some angle and perspective i never do because i didnt want it to look as flat as the og. kid and law look best here#i think. need to fix whatever's not right with luffy. also wanted to show that law's v neck had transitioned into a bra but i drew him all#hunched so you can't tell. i'll have to draw him in this fit again then. been wanting to draw maudern law and his fits a bunch too.
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Reminder to myself that it’s pointless to compare myself bc no one else has my exact story. The general outline can be the same, and still there will be details that are entirely different. There are different obstacles to overcome. There is different progress to be made. Just bc it took me longer to reach a point someone else already achieved doesn’t automatically mean I am incompetent or that they are inherently better than me. It just means we were dealt different cards in life and that is okay. I will not be allowing myself to slack where I shouldn’t, but I’m also not gonna beat myself up for going through different story beats than somebody else. We all go at our own pace. No two people are exactly the same. And in that irrevocable truth comparison becomes a moot point.
#as a pre med / w the environment that kind of thing curates… I rly need to remind myself of this constantly#i am ME / a force on my own / as long as I’m doing my best nothing else matters etc etc
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really cringe but i wanted to test out how to do an animatic again and the only clip i had was this one from pearl
i have not . touched anything moving in so long oh god
#this took like 30 mins dfjkdffd#the other 30 was searching up how the hell the animation timeline worked in csp again#this is definitely way more chibi...stylized than i would like but i also draw way too slow and im not going to do all that just for a test#sighhh#i need to learn how to animate for real this time#it was my promise to myself now that i bought a display tablet lmao#everyone here will be forced to come along the ride of me learning how to animate#yay!!!! totally not embarrassing whatsoever#my art#eydimvs#<- temporary tag until i find a better sounding one
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(oc wip)
attempting to paint a scene from the beginning of my original story stuff -im not gonna say i like it for some rough color placement so far bc it will surely curse it to not work out in the end-----
#ganondoodles#art#character design#wip#painting#listen i know the horns dont make sense yet its barely done#but also trying to allow myself to be rougher with the painting stuff bc i really dont need to force myself to render everything so detaile#i want the second chapter of destiny to be faster done than the first#THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ZELDA THOUGH#its my own blorbos im testing it on lol#anyway *hides*#(i know i shouldnt post wips bc it makes the final one not do well but i cant not do iiiiiiiiiit)
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