#I need to complete my English assignment and I am writing this instead

[rosehippiefield]

I love that no character is one-dimensional:

Sara is not goody two shoes protagonist with unwavering hope (I like Makoto it's not his slander I really promise I love kind guys), she has the highest chance of winning. It can't happen to ultimate cinammon roll. The balance between her caring side that wants to protect everybody and using charisma to her advantage is so tricky and yet it works (though I am a bit baffled at how she changes without Joe in AI simulations).

Joe is not only cheery cheesy best friend that dies just so you can cry about it (even if it's true as well). Joe is distrustful, he is scared and he kind of wants to escape with sacrifice card knowing what it entails. So he came up with a plan where good people being majority would live, and if not he can feel less guilt. Amazing idea! And we all know how he returns in second chapter. A sing of ungrounded guilt that doesn't correspond to reality whatsoever but can't be combated with logic alone. In best case scenario it is defeated with reminder of how real Joe behaved, showing how faulty our perception can get from trauma.

Keiji is not just sexy detective that supports Sara, oh no. This guy gets close to our heroine on purpose and I dare say kind of uses her for own gain. Then, his trauma doesn't equal all of his character nor it magically justifies killing Megumi, it simply explains his current actions. And of course I really want to believe that he is not some creep flirting with people in most suspicious way. He just needs excuse for evading akward questions. This man, deprived of sleep because of his sins, is both cunning and kind, capable of cruelty and striving to be like his idol.

Kanna and Gin are not annoying children that constantly need saving or exist to evoke sympathy. In Kanna's case sympathy is natural, but it is not the only thing going for her. Kanna is about giving a chance, letting go regrets, making thought-out sacrifice and when it fails moving on to make sure it doesn't have to happen. She develops constantly, bringing ideas to the table and trying to get all group stay united. Kanna makes conscious choice to spend time with Shin to get information, so while she can be manipulated it's not always the case and she's not all naїveness. Her arc of overcoming trauma and insecurity may seem familiar to characters from other media, but it is unique and distinctive.

Gin is autism representation without making him vilain or weird. He has some pecularities, for example, wearing animal-like clothes and repeating animal sounds, and yet nobody bats an eye, so surely he's no outcast or useless (on the contrary, he is quite useful remembering names in the bar, using scent, helping morally etc). Gin's the least morally gray of the cast, but it doesn't mean he is cardboard nice support kid either: he has his dislikes or his own thoughts (he is quite distrustful toward Kanna because he's younger and doesn't use age as justification for her actions).

Reko seems simple enough, a hot-tempered rock star, emo/punk lady many would like to date. Strict to the strong, kind to the weak. She had a lot of changing in the past and it continues here, she is becoming softer. But it's not her only trait: she's a talented singer that was interested purely in music and it's perfection. She ignored to some degree her happiness, her band, her beloved brother for the sake of art. She wasn't indifferent, but appeared as such. And now, finally having a better understanding of what's important and bright future ahead she ends up in a death game with Alice. Their plotline is prominent in second chapter and is devastatingly tragic.

Alice looks like comic relief with his exaggerated reactions and bizzare choice of words (personally I love this type of speaking it's cool). But he is actually not only a scaredy cat: he is a person without a purpose. He searched for it in a path with sister, but no happiness came, only murder of Midori. Alice hides his soft side to not be hurt, he on purpose builds a wall and appears so arrogant because when he was openly kind the close ones were indifferent (not to mention prison, I admire how Alice kept his sanity at all).

Shin is a prime example of morally gray character done right (majority here are morally gray but with him being antagonist it's far more prominent). I have seen various post about fandom interpreting him either as "totally evil manipulator", "Kokichi/Nagito kinnie", "cinnamon roll he did nothing wrong" or "what a loser". But he's not just good or bad, him having antagonist status doesn't make him Ouma copycat or Komaeda's successor, and while I get him being a loser is funny it's not the only thing to define him (though it's more of a joke than serious interpretation). Shin is very insecure and distrustful guy who "sees shadows where there aren't any" (quoting Sara) due to 0% and wants to live, using all methods... until he gets attached. He plots mainly against people he considers his enemies (to tell the truth, with 0% anybody could be classified as enemy), and I think he wouldn't abandon those close to him like Kanna, perhaps partly due to guilt of using her. In general, his actions, while obviously not the best (and he knows it perfectly well), come from fear of death and paranoia rather than pure malice or craziness.

Nao may appear as mentally weak girl you constantly have to help and can't rely on. Yes, Nao has problems with dependance on other, but she has her own aces up her sleeves. She's creative, smart, open-minded. For me her advantage lies in unexpectedness: who knew she saw through AI's lies? For her own sake and for the group Nao is capable of difficult actions like puching fake Reko. This girl is about growing more responsible, learning to trust your own judgement (she has great intuition by the way) and becoming independent.

Kai is quite too unique for stereotypes in my mind, a mysterious but awfully suspicious man. He looks so feminine but don't let that deceive you: he's assasin. Assasin that doesn't kill. Kai is the person escaping from his bloodied, horrible, traumatic past into right, calm, tranquil future with only householding chores and not killing attempts to protect... wrong people (Sara is not bad person, but her father is likely to be tied to Asunaro). So poor househusband is leaping from one abusive enviroment into another, but now being genuinely loyal and unaware of all skeletons kept in closet.

Q-Taro is certainly not only kindhearted big muscular guy (that dies in certain chapter) or stupid. Yes, he looks like parody on American, yes, all his accents make his speech a bit silly and stereotypical. No, he's not dumb. In fact, many plot twists involve him in some way (especially the banquet). Also, he could sacrifice his life for somebody, but he is equally capable of doing the opposite. Q-Taro is quite honest but not above tricks to leave this place, he cares for th group (taking into accout his team-spirited profession) but prioritises himself until later; he knows how sinful people are including him and that allows him to forgive quickly.

Finally, Mishima dies so early you don't hope to see him after 1.1. But if you think he's the shock value first victim that dissapears after, you are not quite right. Mishima, being dead, yet has influence on story as well, either through mystery of his head or AI that appear three times (maybe something is really up with him). Not to mention Ytts where his character shines and not burns. Him being almost perfect doesn't ruin anything, it motivates to become better as well because he wasn't always like this. Plus, he's no ideal, Mishima understands how world works but is passionate to a fault, not to mention his suspicious behavior. He is example of a person that matured, overcame his main faults and inspires the same in others.

Of course, everyone can interpret these characters differently and it's great, those perseptions can be true all at once. They are so interesting and captivating thanks to many layers of depth where everybody can see something unique.

[prettieinpink]

CREATING A STUDY SCHEDULE/ROUTINE 

PLANNING/SCHEDULING

LIST YOUR ACADEMIC STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES. This is so you can allocate time accordingly and avoid wasting any time. 

PRIORITISE ANY SUBJECTS. These may be subjects that will help you in your future career or just a subject you especially want a good grade in. Anything for these subjects then becomes the most important on your to-do list.

DIVIDE TIME EACH DAY. Not all days you are going to be able to sit down at your desk at the same time. Instead, according to your energy levels and planned activities, divide your time.

E.g I have cheerleading after school and I'm going to be so tired, so I’ll do my studying in the morning instead. 

ESTABLISH BREAKS. Depending on how long you can study for, place a suitable break in between. This helps make studying more productive, but only if your breaks are. 

CREATING

USE YOUR TIMETABLE. On days you don’t have a specific subject, dedicate more time to that one. 

CONSIDER YOUR LEARNING STYLE. This helps to be a bit more specific when creating it, instead of winging it and just doing anything. Having a consistent way of studying helps us learn better. 

E.g I’m a visual learner, so I’ll watch animations. I'm an auditory learner so I’ll watch a video of someone explaining it. 

KNOW WHAT YOU WILL DO DURING STUDYING. Do not just wing studying, it’s unproductive and you’re more likely to waste time instead of using it.

 Before you start studying, write a to-do list of everything you need to do during that session and how you will do it. Less time time-consuming and allows you to use time productively. 

SAMPLE – this is Lanny’s daily study routine without any upcoming tests, as an early bird, kinesthetic learner and needs breaks to think with clarity.

Morning

Review my flashcards in preparation for any test. 

Write/note any flashcards I'm struggling with. 

 Afterschool

Check seqta/school website to access my courses, in which I’ll write down which subjects I had. 

Do a few quick blurts on paper of everything I learned in those subjects with prior reading. I only do this for HASS, math and science + any electives that require it. (blurting method)

Then I recheck my blurts, add in anything that I’ve missed and correct with a different coloured pen. 

After, I push those papers aside but I do not discard them. I’ll then complete my online science homework + class workbook. If I happen not to understand anything I’ll watch a video on it and then complete some questions on that. 

I’ll take a break around now because, on an estimate, it has been around 20-40 minutes since I started depending on how my science homework is. I usually eat something and then get back to it. 

Math is next. I’ll complete any math homework, then I’ll practice doing math questions on my own. What I like to do is watch a math video, pause the question without the answer then watch to see if I got it. Effective because they explain it and I can see where I went wrong without analysing my working out which is rather time-consuming. 

I take another break. Math stuff usually takes around 20-30 minutes. 

I then do HASS, which is the easiest. I usually read an article or watch a video on hass then apply that knowledge by answering questions OR doing assigned chapter work. 

I do not study English after school, but I usually read an assigned passage/book and then try to apply any techniques/knowledge by taking that paragraph apart and analysing it. Sometimes, I write my paragraphs using any taught techniques and then mark them. 

Then, I redo my blurtings again but without prior reading then recheck and correct. Then I am finished for the afternoon!!

Evening

Review flashcards then watch a video/read an article on what I was struggling with in the morning but I do not do anything to consolidate this knowledge. 

That is all, please feel free to ask me about any questions about studying as I don't really post much about it, I'll love to help out any fellow students! 

[noturlondonboy]

An open letter to Kevin Fiege

Note: please do not take this too seriously chat, I was assigned with writing an open letter for my English class, and I decided I needed to diss on Kevin to my English professor for a little while.

————

Dear Kevin Fiegi, (I know I spelled your name wrong, it is intentional.)

I’d just like to start off with a very sincere screw you. And if this wasn’t a school assignment that my professor is going to read, I would be using some choosier words.

Second, kindly go to Hell. Emily, my apologies. Moving on.

Let’s start with one of the most glaringly obvious problems you created and let happen in the MCU- the confusing and unnecessary death of Natalia Alianova Romanova, otherwise known as Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow.

I can understand Natasha insisting that she be the one to sacrifice herself instead of Clint- it fits her character archetype and offers a solid way for her character to die with dignity. If it weren’t such a stupid idea to kill her off in the first place.

Might I offer an alternative to keeping one of the arguably most important characters in the Marvel Universe dead in the cinematic adaptations? Did we even think about Tony Stark bringing her back with the Infinity Gauntlet when he revived half the world’s population? Did we consider at all that maybe when Steve Rogers made the (horrible) decision to stay behind in the 40’s, he could have warned the team about the dangers in Endgame? Maybe he could have prevented the Snap in the first place.

Maybe, maybe, maybe… so many options, and yet, here we are, onto Phase 5 of the MCU and Natasha Romanoff-less.

More on Steve in a second.

Natasha’s death felt unnecessary, shallow, and forced in order to create a narrative with enough drama and angst to soothe the most particular crowds. While we already had very few strong, main female characters, the loss of the Black Widow only adds the problematic misogyny in the MCU. This is aided by the fact that we received only one Black Widow movie (after she had canonically died, mind you) and have three Iron Man movies, four Thor movies, and three Captain America movies with a fourth on the way.

I’m sensing a pattern here, Kevin. A pattern I do not like.

If we wanted to stay on the topic related to misogyny, we could talk about Wanda Maximoff, and the injustice served to her character in Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. The show Wandavision gave us a beautiful narrative of how Wanda reacted to her immeasurable grief, and wove together an exciting story that provided us with intriguing lore and storyline options. However, in the absolute dookie bomb of Multiverse of Madness, almost every single point of conflict and character development that Wanda experienced was completely trashed and ignored in favor of turning her into a villain for the sake of villainy.

A terrible reason, by the way. Literally what the hell. Kevin. I am so incredibly upset with you.

Back to Steve Rogers, as promised.

Steve in himself is an incredibly in-depth character that absolutely lives up to the hype. He’s Captain-freaking-America. His actions are purposeful, his morals and strong and set in doing what is right, not what is expected. *cough cough* When Steve decided to stay in the 40’s when returning the Infinity Stones, he disrupted several important plot points. In Agent Carter, Peggy Carter moves on from Steve when he’s lost to the ice and finds love and peace and happiness with someone else. Steve ultimately steals back her affection from that life she had built for herself, and the importance she completed in her life with that man.

Have you ever watched Agent Carter, Kevin? Have you read any of the comics that you’re adapting for the screen? Have you seen the movies? The shows? Do you understand the plot lines you’re supposedly in charge of?

Secondly, we cannot forget about Bucky Barnes, even though Steve most certainly did. Remember Bucky, Kevin? Remember Steve’s best and closest friend? The man he promised to always stick with, “to the end of the line”?

No, Kevin. Clearly, you do not remember. Steve absconding Bucky was entirely out of character and makes no sense. What are we even doing here?

Thank you, but no thank you, Kevin. Please hand the MCU reigns over to someone who actually cares about the characters and what the fans want (in a reasonable sense.)

-London, aka the one you should hand them to.

[springcatalyst]

My dearest, tell me about your conlang scripts, please❣

Yeassss thank you beloved I will now kill for you <3 Ask me to kill for you.

I truly do not know how long this is going to end up but I'm just gonna go for it.

Montaran

Montaran is fauns' native language: it is alphasyllabic (rather than alphabetic), made up of character 'blocks' that are themselves composed of syllabic components. It's based off a mix of Korean and Sanskrit (mostly Brahmi script).

⬆️ "This is an example sentence" written in Montaran. Pronounced "Bavna mōskadatōk nin."

Components are arranged in blocks of three max, with spaces between words. It's written and read top to bottom, left to right. In three-component characters (called full blocks or complete characters), the arrangement of the components tells you where the syllabic emphasis is.

Here's the same sentence but with the components split up. The first word bavna has it's emphasis on the syllable na, and you can tell by reading because it's alone, as opposed to the other two components, which share space on the top of the block. The second word, Mōskadatōk, has its emphasis on the first and fourth syllables mō and da- the ones that are alone in their vertical placement. For partial blocks, like the last word nin, you can't tell emphasis by reading it.

Montaran is an abugida, which means its alphasyllabary is made up of consonant letters and small, diacritic-like additions that determine vowel sounds. Consonants can exist alone, but vowels must be connected to a consonant.

Where vowels are connected to a consonant can vary- usually there is a standardized method, but handwriting can alter it.

Montaran doesn't use any articles or particles, is written subject-verb-object (though the verb to be is considered an implied verb and therefore not actually written or spoken in sentences which would need it in other languages). Adjectives and adverbs are placed before what they alter.

Homonic

Homonic is humans' native language. It's alphabetic, made up mostly of vowels. The consonants are just 6 'base' ones, the sound of which changes with the inclusion of diacritics. It's based off of mostly English and Japanese.

⬆️ "This is an example sentence" written in Homonic. Pronounced "Goa ja ikaruth zonosh hfow."

Likewise I had more explanation for those weird phonetics but once again I am going to joker out so what the fuck ever. The r is a tapped r though.

Consonants base form is considered the default, while the diacritics change what sound it makes. The handakuten indicates a harder sound (P to B, F to V, L to tapped R), the tilde indicates a softer sound (hard G to Y, L to R, F to a sort of harder H that's not quite an english H), and the dakuten indicates a much softer, sometimes voiceless sound (P to W, F to H, T to Th). I should say now that I wrote out the phonetics of these in a way they make sense to me, so they might seem like nonsense to you. Because I don't understand international phonetic alphabet. But I digress. Vowels are never given diacritics.

Homonic uses both articles and particles, but particles are mostly used for action and subject indication. It's written subject-object-verb: Adjectives go after the noun they alter, but adverbs go before the verb. It's written left to right.

Paitarō

Paitarō is ipotanes' native language. It's an abugida, but unlike Montaran, consonants cannot exist alone. Instead, letters in their 'default' state are assigned the inherent vowel a, and all alterations from that indicate different vowel sounds. It's based mostly on Ge'ez and Eastern Cree.

⬆️ "This is an example sentence" written in Paitarō . Pronounced "Roujih myudae ba raisakō louhayka".

Paitarō has a bunch of different versions of verbs depending on context. They have general vs current forms, constant vs transient, beginning vs ending, and some verbs have a gladly vs reluctantly form. I gave examples, but this is my third time trying to edit this and I can't be assed to write it all out again without becoming the joker.

Rotation and diacritics determine the vowel sound of a letter. It's very consistent, so while it looks like there are 8 million letters, really there's just 12 that are altered slightly for different forms. A clockwise rotation 90 degrees will always result in the vowel ay, an macron will always result in the vowel i, etc.

It's written left to right, subject-verb-object, and uses no particles (but does use articles). It's also one of the harder languages to learn from an outside perspective, because many of the vowels (particularly o, oo, ou, and ō) sound similar to the untrained ear.

Arbor

Arbor is satyrs' native language. It's alphabetic, and has the largest alphabet of any language, with 42 letters (Paitarō beats it only if you consider all rotations and diacritics separate letters, which I don't). It's based mostly on Russian and Japanese.

⬆️ "This is an example sentence" written in Arbor. Pronounced "Shleya bouk dzyañen aotal voh."

It's written right to left, verb-subject-object. It doesn't use articles, but does use particles, which make up far more of the grammatical structure than of any other language. Particles indicate time, possession, location, direction, vocatives, pragmatics, formality, connectives, and conjunctions. For example, in the above sentence, the particle voh indicates certainty- what is being said is fact- not up for debate.

Formality particles are something that is mostly unique to Arbor: Homonic uses some, but they are loanwords from Arbor, and not used near as often. The only circumstance in which a satyr would not use formality particles is when speaking to children (or if the speaker is a child). Because of this, for an adult to speak without these particles is perceived as immature or patronizing or both. There are generally four 'levels' of respectful particles: familiar (for friends and family), peers (for acquaintances and strangers), respect (for superiors or elders), and higher status (for governmental or religious leaders). There are also degrading particles that are only used explicitly as insults, but are naturally not used in everyday life.

There are no true diacritics in Arbor, similar letters (like eh, ih, and uh, or v and fh) are considered distinct, not the same letter but altered).

Shotali

Shotali is nightlings' native language. It's syllabic, written calligraphically from top to bottom. It's made up of common humanoid phonemes as well as a clicking sound that is unique to their physiology. It's mostly based off of Khoisan and Vulcan.

⬆️ "This is an example sentence" written in Shotali. Pronounced "Sikosha taori niloth zhoi."

Here's the same sentence twice, one with the letters and other aspects of the sentence pointed out. The letters are designed to run into one another, where one letter ends another begins. Words are separated by a small open circle at the beginning and end to make clear the joint between the two.

It uses only two diacritics: a handakuten and a macron. In natural Shotali, they are used sparingly, but their usage has since expanded to allow for other sounds to be transcribed into Shotali. The macron traditionally changes just a few letters from an i vowel sound to an e (ri->re, ni->ne, li->le), but now can also be found to alter any letter with an i to an e, even if it was not originally allowed. The handakuten, in natural Shotali, indicates a click, made as part of the syllable alongside the voiced pronunciation, and is not actually considered a diacritic in this form. It's present only on hard consonants (k, v, d). These consonants can be written/spoken without the click and therefore without the handakuten, but only in very specific words or it is incorrect. Some words only define meaning by the presence or absence of this click- this makes things tricky for any other species trying to learn/speak Shotali.

Now, though, the handakuten is also placed as a diacritic on some other letters- not to indicate a click, but to harden the sound (Th to T, P to B, Zh to Z, J to hard G). These characters are not included in the base alphabet as they are considered adopted characters, meant to transcribe sounds from other languages- Shotali has a lot of technically allowed ways to write/speak that arent included in the 'official' alphabet.

Only d, j and th (or t with a handakuten) can exist as a consonantal sound without a vowel, considered a whole syllable by themselves in Shotali. It's written verb-object-subject, and uses no articles or particles. Adverbs and adjectives go before the noun or verb they alter.

Bonus: Chimerae's sign-morse

The chimerae, which live in the depths of the ocean and thus do not interact with any other humanoid species, converse with a form of sign language that utilizes their bioluminescent abilities. It is untranscribable, and so doesn't have a proper name. It's made up of similar signs as that of shallower merfolk: large, slow movements of the hands and caudal fin, but is additionally altered by light. Light carries meaning in: where on the body it is located, how quick the flash is, and what physical sign it accompanies.

Chimeraes have two distinct dialects of this language: a distant and close dialect, both used in conjunction with each other depending on context. Because detail gets much harder to see at distance, and the deep sea is big, the type of sign-morse used when far away from your conversation partner is different than that which is used when you are right next to each other. The former is vaguer, but more obvious, while the latter is more intricate and specific.

[screemnch]

The Pathologic Russian and English analysis: Artemy Burakh the Haruspex.

On this episode of “I am definitely not okay and dedicate my time to sillygoofy things” - we look at the Haruspex in the Bachelor's campaign. This alone took me a whole month, because there is a lot of funk happening in my life, so the Changeling will have to wait a little more. Anyway. Y’all maybe don’t know the drill quite yet, so let’s start at the beginning.

What is the Haruspex like in the English version? Well, discarding the “sweet but tired dad” persona that the entire fandom has assigned the poor guy, the impression I got while watching people playing through the game is that he is first and foremost a very impulsive person, and that, in a way, carries over to his speech. He’s also very cryptic to the other healers, in that ominous “you shouldn’t have done that” way. If I hadn’t read at least a bit of his dialogue lines for the previous analysis, I would have assumed that he’d be the one to use all those “rough” words every other sentence, since that’s how people from outside of the capital cities are usually portrayed. In the Bachelor’s campaign, he is almost like a goddamn cryptid, that tells you he doesn’t know what antibodies are and then presents you with a panacea on the very next day - he speaks very little and does not bother with niceties besides the honorary title. In the Changeling campaign, all those factors seem to be even more emphasised. Overall he acts even more distant, even more ominous and is even more threatening, since it’s seen through the eyes of a scared little girl (she’s also a miracle worker but we won’t talk about it now). Both of the campaigns are, of course, drastically different from what we have in the Haruspex campaign - which is where we get to see the whole “guided by the heart” thing in action. From the other two’s perspective, he is an ominous, potentially volatile, but still helpful figure. And his speech matches that exactly. So let’s get cracking.

As the Bachelor: the vibes are pretty consistent between the English and Russian version. The Haruspex is just as cryptic and curt in both of them, and doesn’t talk in the manner usually given to all these “rough and dangerous” types in Russian fiction. In all honesty, I think it’s the fact that his manner of speech is so simple and short that made translating it to English so much easier (or at least I think it was). Sadly, there is so little dialogue, that it also meant I barely get to talk about anything interesting, since what little there is to look at, is mostly accurate. But, when there ARE differences… Oh boy are those differences. So, you’ll see a little bit of other characters in this analysis as well because these interactions in the Bachelor campaign felt almost like an afterthought. Like, the writers knew how the wanted them to meet and part, so in the middle, they just used Burakh to be a tool for exposition, and not much else. Additionally, the “fairytale-like” way of speech that Artemy has in his own campaign seems to be gone here, and I can’t wait to see what happens to it with the Changeling. With all that being said, here is the more fun stuff: aka the snippets and screenshots! Once again, the chronological order is dubious at best, and most of this was written at two am in the morning, so I hope this isn’t completely insane.

Very interesting choices made in the translation here. First and foremost - instead of relying on his heart to guide him, the Haruspex specifically says that he is guided by “his love” which, depending on how consistent this change is, might strengthen the connection between several different themes. Now to the fun part - “it’s a shame we aren’t standing together.” I need you people to understand that I am trying to remain as impartial as possible when I write these, without inserting my own opinions of the story or anything. But, the much more word-for-word translation of that line would be “Pity, that we aren’t together.” And yes, people being “together” does also have the same connotation in Russian as it does in English. And while I understand that it’s mostly likely supposed to imply “allyship,” I think it could be worded a lot better, had the writers wanted to avoid misunderstandings.

Let’s focus on the last sentence here: in English, the Haruspex says he admires Rubin’s determination to help people. In the original version however, the sentence is “He deserves respect.” See, the interesting thing here is the difference between “I” and “everyone.” Where in the English version Burakh voices his personal approval of Rubin, in Russian it’s an unspecified, but general statement, which bears the implications that others should respect him as well. And while the difference itself isn’t too significant on its own, when paired with the fact that Rubin is someone who’s on the run from half of the town, it hits a bit different. 

Also, and I didn’t really know where to stick this, and maybe this could’ve waited until we actually got to Rubin as a character, but yeah. I wanted to point out specifically that the word “master” in Russian doesn’t have a dual meaning. Cuz, correct me if I’m wrong, in English this can both refer to a master of a certain activity (ie martial arts master) as well as a proprietor of something (ie master of the house). In Russian, however, the word “master” refers exclusively to a “master of their craft” type of people. A master of a property is referred to as an “owner”. The “Mistresses” in Pathologic are also referred to as “owners” (with a suffix that indicates female). This creates a bit of a confusion, because the word exists in both of the languages, but only shares some of the meanings. And uh… This is related to this quote because uh… Something-something recognition of expertise.

I’m personally a big fan of the themes of freedom, and how different people react to losing their freedom of choice, or dealing with the information that they were never free to choose to begin with. And that brings us to this little line, which I find particularly interesting. In the original Russian dialogue, Burakh says that he had already “lost” his freedom, in the way one loses something in a game. I feel this shines a different light on both how he eventually reacts to being told that he’s just a toy in a child’s game (he’s had to deal with disempowerment this whole time, it’s nothing new to him) but also with how he views his loss of freedom. Not something that some higher power has revoked from him, but rather something that he himselfs basically “gambled away.” In that sense, I can see the eventual reveal that everyone is simply a toy in a sandbox being a relief. In the way that it wasn’t his fault after all, that everything was predetermined, and that he couldn’t have carelessly lost something he didn’t have in the first place. Makes me wonder what the dialogue between these two would’ve been like if they’d met on the first day in this campaign.

I have a shamefully small amount of notes as I go through these, so I’m literally latching on to anything to talk about. I pointed out how dry and laconic the Haruspex is, but god DAMN if that doesn’t make for text that’s easy to translate - and that gives me less things to work with. For example this - a simple word difference in the last sentence that you couldn’t possibly translate properly without sounding illiterate. Because as it is - the translation is accurate in the last sentence. But that’s because “evil” in English is both a noun and an adjective. In Russian, however, the adjective for “evil” also makes for a synonym to “angry” and that doesn’t fit with the meaning conveyed here. Burakh calls Clara “evil itself” the embodiment of evil, all that shabang. It’s something that is recurrent in people talking about her, from what I’ve seen - people address her as a concept, and link her to more generalised ideas, rather than specific characteristics. Either way, it’s a fun thing to think about.

Hi, confused, I’m dad. I did a thing where I tried to read the English dialogue in its entirety first, because I wanted to avoid talking about information that was already accessible in English, and I remember being confused at this line, because… The cattle grounds were on the other side of the Gorkhon? Since when???? It didn’t make sense with the rest of the dialogue either, and the Russian version says “on this side of the Gorkhon” so… What gives? Assuming that the website is accurate (cuz if not, then I’d have to go and check in the actual game which would take hours to get to) does this then just mean it was a simple translation error? Or did the writers decide to change the lore as they were translating? It confuses me so much, because overall the game is well translated, so I don’t get how no one noticed that the meaning of the sentence becomes completely flipped here. Anyways, if you’re like me and that confused the hell out of you in English, just know that it makes sense in Russian and you can sleep soundly. Also, on the more chill note, there is no reference to a kraken in the Russian version, the deposits are compared to octopus tendrils.

I know this isn’t Bachelor time again, but I wanted to point out that there’s a switch back to the formal “you” here, and I feel like it throws a wrench into my previous theory. Or maybe it supports it. Let’s try to be objective here. The simplest explanation could be simply that this is a continuity break, that this was completely unintentional from the writers, and that I am trying to figure out why the curtains are blue in a situation where they are, indeed, just blue. But we like fun here, so let’s assume the curtains are blue for a reason. The real problem is whether this works with my previously established theory, or if it's for a completely different reason.

If we are going with the supposition that the Bachelor switches to formal “you” when he is uncomfortable (which some people found strange when I brought it up, but it’s a legit thing in Russian. Like, I do that sometimes when I want to place a little bit of professional distance between myself and whoever I’m speaking to, though sometimes the person might get upset if you do that) then one possible explanation would be that he is uncomfortable with the implications that this new knowledge has brought to light - a huge residential part of the town is sorta kinda maybe doomed. It could also be the overall dread of what the other piece of news would be.

On the opposing side of this argument is a somewhat mundane explanation that would bypass my theory completely. The idea that the switch to a more formal language was either an attempt to keep the conversation civil and “professional” at a spot where a conflict of interests could potentially emerge, or the possibility that it simply happened because sometimes a person doesn’t know where they stand, or what would be more appropriate in this situation, and opt for the safe formal version.

I do want to apologise, in case y’all don’t wanna hear these hypotheses of mine, I just thought it would be unfair to pretend like my explanations are the only ones out there, so yeah.

Welcome back to “mom pick me up, the translations are being weird again” this time - "my confidants are alive. Are you sure they’re alive? I see no problems." Perfect, flawless logic, I love. And while I understand that the original Russian version uses a very “ye olde” version of “if,” I still assume that the translating team spoke Russian and understood the meaning of the sentence. For context - the modern version of “if” in Russian is “если” (yesli). However, in this line, the Haruspex uses an older word “коль” (kol’), which implies a condition, or an “if” scenario. But the word itself isn’t extinct, people still understand what it implies, the same way native English speakers would know that “thou” means “you.” Like, I can’t imagine how the meaning got flipped in here, it just confuses me. Either way, the “I see no problems with that” is also kinda wonky, because it makes it sound like Burakh has no problem with the “my bound are alive - so I’ll be at the meeting” logic. In Russian, he specifically says “-I’ll come. I see no obstacles.” As in - there is nothing to stop me from doing so. Anyway, translation wonky, let’s see how the rest of it goes.

Now that’s an interesting difference. And a morbid one at that. This is the line where the Haruspex talks about his bound “rebuilding the settlement and turning their lives to become the angels of its foundation.” Which I interpreted more in the sense of - becoming the highly revered figures of the town, with lots of authority and responsibility - like angels. And I’m curious to see how y’all interpreted this, because I did not anticipate the Russian version in the slightest. And it’s this: “... my bound, that are destined to bring this town back to life and lay down their lives under its new cornerstones.” For one, I find it curious that both in English and Russian there is such a similar turn of phrase - because “lay down their lives” could have been translated almost word for word. But also… I am so confused. Is the sacrifice in this sense a literal one? Or does he simply mean a dedication to the town so strong that it could count as giving up one’s life? Either way, this is definitely a curious difference in translation, and I’m not sure what to make of it.

The interesting thing is… For the most part the “Are you aware that we turned out to be toys” dialogue starts the same in both the Haruspex and the Bachelor runs, only diverging in a few character-specific moments. This is one of them and… I don’t even know where to begin with this bit of dialogue, and not because it’s bad. I think it’s translated well, but there are about a hundred tiny little differences that change the vibe a little to the left, make some phrases more bitter and others more candid. For one the whole “take a closer look” in Russian is a direct invitation to compare the two healers, not an implied one. Secondly, instead of not being “a toy to keep” Burakh says that he (in a literal translation) “isn’t to be pitied.” But because Russian is a funky language, what this phrase actually means is - he doesn’t see himself as worth being concerned over, someone who, if sacrificed or given up, wouldn’t be seen as that big of a loss by others. Someone who others would readily discard, without feeling guilt, pity or sorrow. And I have big feelings about that. Additionally, the line about the Bachelor being “an entirely different thing” is kinda funny to me, because it’s a pretty long sentence in English, but in Russian it’s just… Four words, two of which are only two letters long. It definitely carries a different vibe, simply because of how laconic it is, it comes across as much more of an exclamation. In the closest to a literal translation while still remaining coherent, he says “You’re a different case!” which in turn conveys the vibe of “But look at you!” and while I think the translation does a great job at communicating both of them, they also lose the abruptness of the exclamation, which I think adds to the line.

Still not Bachelor hours anymore, but I wanted to point out that the “You’re having fun… Somehow I fail to join in” is a line that sounds sombre and distant, but the Russian version is “You’re laughing… But I don’t find this funny at all” and it has the wording of a child entering their “sulking mode” because someone made a lighthearted joke that they don’t get. Ok, maybe not that extreme, but there’s definitely a lot of bitterness to it, because the idea of being dolls clearly affects the Bachelor very heavily, and then he sees the Haruspex just being like “yeah we might be dolls. So what? You only care cuz you’re made of better materials anyway, lol.” And I imagine that’s pretty hurtful.

Reading this in English, I could practically feel the “there was supposed to be an idiom here, but it’s one of the ridiculous ones, so we had to translate the meaning instead” coming from this line - particularly the “not a single weak spot anywhere” part. And sure enough, the original Russian version says “...everything was done cleanly - a mosquito won’t sharpen its nose” (the nose, obviously being the proboscis). And while I am a big fan of Russian idioms, and was a proud owner of not one, not two, but three books on them as a kid, I’ve never actually heard of this one. The phrase itself means a job perfectly and flawlessly done, to the point where it can’t be improved upon. The leading interpretation to its origin is the idea that a mosquito’s proboscis is a perfect tool for its purpose - long enough to reach blood and thin enough that a person usually doesn’t even feel a mosquito bite until it’s too late. A mosquito’s “nose” could not be any thinner or sharper - therefore a mosquito won’t sharpen its nose.

God, how is it that in the series of dialogues that are the most dry and direct, in the few places where discrepancies are present, the discrepancies are the most confounding and meaning-altering ones? This is still from the dialogue in which the Haruspex and the Bachelor discuss Aglaya on the final day, and the choices in the translation are kind of confusing to me. The original line is “As far as I understand, in the orders given to her, the Powers That Be have concealed (or kept from her) the fact that they want to save the town specifically alongside the Polyhedron.” And while you can still get that implication from the surrounding dialogue, with the whole talk of “she would’ve caught on to the scent of foul play,” it’s still weird that this line was translated so differently. Because as it is, it creates the feeling that it was more of a “technicality” scenario. You know the trope: “I never said anything about so and so, therefore this little inconsistency is going to screw you over, should’ve read the fine print” etc. Almost gives this dialogue a sense of snark, while it’s the exact opposite. The English version weighs in more on the Powers That Be being cold and inconsiderate, while the Russian version is specifically aimed towards emphasising the idea that Aglaya is not to blame. You know. What this whole dialogue is about - Burakh “painting Aglaya as the victim.”

And that’s about all I’ve got for the Haruspex from the Bachelor’s point of view. There are a few things here that shine a new light on some of the themes, or specifically the relationship between Burakh and his sense of fate and control. The overall theme that there is always something higher up that is either in charge or to blame for the things happening, and that Artemy usually takes on as much responsibility as possible because there are only a few things that are truly up to him. Like, that’s why he doesn’t blame Aglaya for her spite or deception, and why he isn’t hostile to the Bachelor in this run - he sees both of them become disillusioned and spiteful, when they find out that all the decisions have been made for them. But as someone who’s never felt much freedom, from responsibilities and choices made and imposed on him by his father, to him being able to see the Lines and where they lead, he’s had to learn to be grateful and accepting of the little choices that he is allowed to make.

And while these closing remarks aren’t exactly exclusive to the Russian version, it just makes me understand the Haruspex ending better. Like, it took me a while to figure out why he’s the character who’s seen as the one “capable of being actually free” or whatever it is that the devs say to Clara (you). It’s because everyone else who is aware of their nature (except Clara, maybe, I’m not sure yet) is someone to whom this is a disheartening and devastating revelation - they become blinded with this knowledge and end up “acting out” exactly the way they were supposed to. Aglaya doesn’t manage to disobey or defy the Powers That Be, nor does Daniil. Yulia too - though she doesn’t know this is all a children’s game, her theory about the “tripwires of fate” is what ultimately traps her in the path chosen for her. The Haruspex on the other hand, not only had to grow up with the idea that he’s fated to become the Warden - serving the purpose of the Kin, but quite literally could see the way things are predetermined. The fact that they’re all dolls, to him, is just a different way of seeing the Lines. So it makes sense that the best ending in the Haruspex run isn't the Termite ending, but the ending of any of the other healers - because then he actually makes a choice. Exercises the little bit of freedom that he has. It's a very interesting progression, where as the Bachelor you , the player, can claim responsibility for his choices, as the Haruspex you can make a choice despite the game's predetermined nature, and then as Clara you get to do both. Throughout these campaigns, you are gradually gaining freedom from the constrictions of the game.

Either way, who knows how long it will be until Clara's point of view on the Haruspex, I certainly don't. But if there is any feedback or stuff, I'm always open to hearing it.

[impending-day]

Can you tell me/us what you can about your conlang(s)?

YES!!!!! YES HAPPILY!!!!!

Ferise/Herise

Basics

started this conlang in 2019 while taking french. i think its cause i wanted to one-up french [i hated it]. theres 11 different pronouns:

h͡a [i], e͡n [you], fr͡e [he], dr͡e [she], hr͡e [they singular], e [it], heh͡r [we], nr͡er [you all], fo͡er [they male plural], do͡er [they female plural], and ho͡er [they neutral/mixed plural].

theres also four different standard verb conjugations [with no exceptions!!]:

-o͡n verbs, -y͡i verbs, -x verbs, and -s͡h verbs.

the line above two letters indicates that they are actually one letter within the ferise/herise alphabet! they usually have a unique pronounciation that isnt replicated within any other letter or letter combination.

speaking of letters, heres a picture of the alphabet:

a whopping 42 unique letters! wow!!

each letter has one assigned pronounciation. theres nothing like "o can make 15 different sounds depending on the word" like in english. of theres a letter, you automatically know what sound it makes, cause theres only one sound it can be!

another note is that there are, naturally, some sounds missing, like the "ch" sound and the "th" sound. those are unfortunately not part of ferise [more on herise later].

Grammar

the grammar of ferise/herise takes inspiration from a lot of languages. as i only speak english fluently, it naturally takes from english. but its also partially inspired by french, russian, japanese, and chinese, and thats only the ones i can come up with off the top of my head!

sentence structure is still very much subject/predicate like it is in english. "thing does action" is fairly standard for germanic languages i think [im not a linguist so feel free to correct me], and naturally ferise/herise also takes from them.

verb conjugations are also fairly standard. theres a certain form each verb takes based on what the subject is. in order to make it future or past tense, all you need to do is add a few letters on the end. to negate a verb, add another few letters onto the very back of the verb, behind past/future indicators. no fancy schmancy "past perfect" whatever the hell that shit is no thank you 😭

adjectives always go after the word they describe, no need for "and" or commas or anything like that. im thinking of adding a word to indicate the end of a description, something simple like "ib".

prepositions are where the chinese influence comes into play! i was reading an article that said they go before the verb, and then describe the first objects relation to the second object after the verb. so i borrowed that! so if you want to say "i am on the road", you would instead say "i on am road" [there are no articles like "a" or "the"].

question words wrap around the entire sentence. the beginning of the sentence always starts with "bom", and the end is a question word! some conditionals like "can" and "must" behave similarly to question words, and go right before question words at the end of a sentence.

making words plural is fun, since theres two methods! the first is for small amounts but still multiple of an object. you repeat the last two letters of the word, tack em onto the end of the word. for larger groups of objects, you disregard the first method and tack on "a͡ef" at the end of the word!

thats most of what i have right now with grammar. im working on trying to do comparisons, but nothing i found is right yet.

Wait! What's "Herise"?

great question!! its a dialect of ferise, complete with its own slightly separate pronounciations and preferences for name lettering.

writing: herise is more commonly written in cursive [which is notably Much Harder but more fun to write]! what makes cursive so difficult is all the letters end up in different spots on the line: some end above the line, some below, some in the middle, its all over the place. very tricky!

pronounciation: theres a few letters that have differing pronounciations from their ferise counterparts, most notably being the letter "d". remember how i said the "th" sound doesnt exist in ferise? well thats the sound it makes in herise, similar to that of a "ð" and not a "þ" [more "the" and less "thick"]. theres some other details i dont really feel like getting into cause this post is already a monster. ill leave you with some examples of ferise/herise writing!

[isbashirah]

my undergraduate journey: from the faculty of math, to becoming a multi-award-winning poet

becoming an alum, and reflecting on the situation in Gaza

This summer, I finally became an alum of the University of Waterloo. Looking back at the long and winding path it took to get me here, it’s interesting to see how things fell into place. I recall, the seemingly never-ending slurry of coursework that demanded so much time and attention. The late nights I would stay up attempting to complete assignments in the early hours of the morning. I remember the quiet lull of those weeks after the end of the final-exam period. I remember the nights when things didn’t seem like they would work out. When they still did. And when they didn’t. And how all of it somehow lead me, twice, to the Department of English Language and Literature Awards.

When I first set out to write this article for mathNEWS, I wanted to write about my journey as an undergraduate student, that started out in the honours math program, and the circumstances that lead me, like many, to transfer out of the Faculty of Math altogether.

Teachers and family members had high expectations of me. I think they thought I’d be making bank in finance or something of the like by now. Instead, I’ve become a poet. I reflect on these unfulfilled expectations, and the potential I had, that I chose to let go of, in order to pursue the path I’m on right now.

People warned me that I’d probably struggle to find employment without a STEM degree, especially as a person existing at the intersection of several marginalized communities. I knew I didn’t belong in Math, so when I decided to leave, I also committed myself to the pursuit of excellence. Academic achievement felt like a form of survival. I reflect on the obstacles I face now, emerging as a new grad in the midst of this tumultuous economy.

Sometimes my friends ask me what it feels like, having had my creative work recognized with awards. More than anything, the experience highlighted for me what was missing. Winning these awards, for me, was kind of like high school graduation. It’s another line to add to my resume. I know it might put me ahead a little bit, but none of my everyday problems have really been resolved. The glamour of the awards paled quickly. All that was left were the same everyday problems as I had before. My family, still fragmented, and myself, still lacking in many areas.

I never really intended to become a good poet, or even to improve on what skills I naturally possessed. I turned to writing because it gave me a space to discuss the problems I didn’t feel like I had the space to discuss otherwise. I turned to writing because I felt lonely, and I needed a healthy distraction. I enjoyed writing workshops, because amongst strangers, it was a space where I could just exist, unburdened by the past, or the future.

I have a hard time writing about these accomplishments now; I feel compelled to write about the students in Gaza. The students who will never graduate. The students whose universities have been destroyed, and the many students who have died. The artists, and the engineers. I think of the potential that is lost with civilians who die in war, and those who live on with less opportunities available for their flourishing.

I think about the Gaza House encampment, and encampments at other Canadian universities. The students who put their careers on the line, and put parts of their lives on hold, to speak out against war crimes, and advocate for those who cannot be heard. Those who are under the rubble. I can’t bring myself to further discuss my achievements while the situation in Gaza continues to escalate. I ask, why am I the one that gets to achieve? Right now, the opportunity to achieve is privilege in itself.

I think about my grandmother, with her limited literacy, who survived the Great Partition of India. My grandmother who never received a formal education and lives to see her children and grandchildren go on to become doctors, accountants, software engineers, and poets.

I think of the Palestinian olive trees. How it can take them years to grow before they start bearing fruit. I think of the olive trees that have been violently uprooted under the occupation, and the Al Badawi tree, a Palestinian olive tree that is estimated to be over two thousand years old.

Then I think of the longest night of the year, and the cold winter seasons, how the Al Badawi tree has lived through those long nights and seasonal shifts, into and out of cold and darkness, at least two thousand times.

When civilians die in war, especially children, they are robbed, not only of the opportunity to see what the world has to offer, but the ability to be a part of something larger than themselves. A family. A community. I am not Palestinian, I cannot speak for people in Gaza, but I still think about how I can serve them. As a creative, much of my work is deeply personal, but I believe that creatives have a duty to serve their communities, by creating and holding space for others when they need it. A space to just feel, and be in community with others.

Do you need space to talk about what’s going on in Palestine? I invite you to continue the conversation with me in the comments below.

Warmly,

I. S. Bashirah

This article was originally published on July 26th, 2024, in Volume 155, Issue 6 of mathNEWS.

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I. S. Bashirah is a multi-award-winning poet and recent alumna of the University of Waterloo. She was awarded the English Society Creative Writing Award for Poetry, as well as an Honourable Mention for the Albert Shaw Poetry Award, at the University of Waterloo Department of English Language and Literature Awards Ceremony in 2023. In 2024, she was also awarded the Albert Shaw Poetry Prize.

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Please note: this Tumblr blog exists as an extension of my Substack newsletter. If you would like to keep up with my work, and see my newest posts, they will be up on Substack first.

[study-with-aura]

Wednesday, January 24, 2024

Welcome to whirling Wednesday! I say that because it seems to whirl right by. It can feel like spinning for hours on end and then suddenly the spinning stops and everything is a blur until refocusing. Unless, of course one spots, then the dizziness is held to a fix. Always remember to spot. My spot today was looking towards my phone call with my brother tonight. In this sense, I consider spotting to be something to look forward to at the end of the packed day. It keeps me focused instead of spinning in many different directions and losing track or motivation.

I need to sleep.

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Learned how to find areas of triangles and quadrilaterals + practice finding areas of parallelograms, triangles, and trapezoids on KA + practice finding perimeters and areas of rhombuses and kites

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed units 4-6 vocabulary + read chapters 1-2 of Emma by Jane Austen + read about content issues in discussion notes + worked on my biography writing assignment

Spanish 2 - Reviewed vocabulary + read my speech out loud to my dad

Bible I - Read Deuteronomy 13-14

World History - Added to my timeline + took three quizzes on the American Revolution (not for a grade) + looked over key terms for the new unit + read the introduction to the Industrial Revolution, Nationalism, and Imperialism in the 19th Century + watched 15 minutes of episode 1 of Victorian Farm on YT (I saved the playlist and I might watch the rest of it when I have time. It looks good)

Biology with Lab - Completed cats genetics lab + reviewed vocabulary notes

Foundations - Read the definition of obedience + completed Lumosity daily brain workout + watched a video on using openers in public speaking + watched a video on the presentations by Steve Jobs + wrote the opener and closers for my speech

Piano - Practiced for one hour

Khan Academy - None today (It was already assigned)

CLEP - Completed Module 6 reading "Age of Revolutions" 10.1-10.3.4 + watched the Module 6 introduction video 6.0

Duolingo - Completed at least one lesson each in Spanish, French, and Chinese

Reading - Read pages 8-43 of They're Watching You by Chelsea Ichaso

Chores - None today

Activities of the Day:

Extracurricular robotics course

Ballet

Variations

Journal/Mindfulness

-

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful for my mom who agreed to help me with ideas for my literary analysis paper. (Sometimes there are perks to having a mom who is a university professor that teaches English and French literature.)

Quote of the Day:

You can’t get to know yourself if you can’t sit with yourself for a while.

-We Deserve Monuments, Jas Hammonds

🎧Six Idylles Op. 24 No. 5 - Agathe Backer-Grøndahl

[doriansredroses]

Okay I am so fucking pissed off. In college so far, my mental health has been awful. It was the first time I considered taking my life and lost my desires to live in a major depressive period. During this, I’ve completely lost my ability to take exams efficiently. Last semester, I failed all of my finals and winded up with B's and C’s despite having all A’s prior to the final exams. Someone who was working with me at school actually stated that I should file for alternative assignments instead of exams as an accommodation because my mental health and grades had plummeted to very unhealthy levels.

So, I talked with a professor about it and she is letting me do a project that weighs as much as the exams and it goes over the exact same topics. This is great. My other professors are downright ableist (the ones who are giving out the exams). I spoke with my English professor about this because he had the audacity to list the exams as “in-class writing assignments” in a lingo that meant writing a small assignment and sharing in class, when in reality, it was a fucking test. So I had to scramble to rework my accommodations because he told me he was refusing to help me out unless I had documentation (which I’ve also been denied). I have no time to study now except cramming over the weekend.

He told me that he has faith in me because I’m insightful in class every session and I clearly know a lot about the subject (literature in early 18th century England). I specifically told him that I’ve nearly failed classes before due to exams and he’s not budging, saying it’s extremely unfair for the other students if I have a format I need. What’s unfair is that he’s setting me up for failure in a class I used to enjoy. I get it, doing an essay instead of a test can be unfair in some eyes, but if I start actually failing courses, I could lose my hefty scholarship that covers more than half of my tuition. And if that happens, it’ll likely send me into another severe depressive/manic spiral. I’ll also have to drop out so close to getting my degree.

The class is made up of exams, which means there’s no chance of me succeeding, and what’s worse, it’s an English course. Having a C or below in literature is a mockery. A mockery. My professor told me to just come to class on Monday and take the test like everyone else, even disregarding my previous accommodations such as extra time and a private room. I’m screwed and I feel invalidated because I can’t study and take exams like a neurotypical student. I was diagnosed with autism (Asperger’s when the term was in use) and anxiety as a kid. My anxiety has skyrocketed since 2020. I’ve been degraded by professors before, but this one just seems ignorant. He doesn’t understand and now I’m going to have to pay for it (with bad grades and possibly dropping out since I have another professor who won’t even talk to me about the same issue).

I’ll be spending my weekend trying not to vomit and have an anxiety attack instead of celebrating the arrival of autumn. Am I overreacting?

[xbalayage]

I was wondering... What's the part about writing you enjoy the most?

Sorry I got to this so late! I've been busy today! <3

The part I enjoy the most about writing, is that it's always been my release, my form of expression and art. I've been writing roughly since I was 11-13 years old. If I remember correctly, I started roleplaying/writing on Tumblr, Deviantart, Myspace, Skype, AOL and on some FB groups back in the day. And BOY, was I terrible at it. But it was fun and enjoyable, an outlet for me in my crazy life. I even did some cringe and silly ones on places like WeeWorld and Club Penguin, hehe.

But thankfully, though I was bad, I never gave up! I started understanding what writing truly was and how much I enjoyed it. School made me realize more with writing assignments like English class and Creative Writing. A book that'll forever stick with me is Lord of the Flies because we had to write it for class but said we had to choose a character and speak from their perspective during the course of events that was happening and I chose Simon! And my teacher loved it!

It gave me a better understanding of truly trying to understand a character to the core of who they are. And it helped make my writing better of the characters I wanted to portray instead of just being silly and cringe with it, I truly wanted to do the character justice to their feelings, thoughts and actions. And it led me to the writer I am today! I love trying to paint a scene for the audience and feel immersed in what's going on. I might've lost my touch a little bit, but it doesn't hurt trying to get back to the roots and water them!

Like, for instance, a character I absolutely loved was Axel from Kingdom Hearts. He was my baby and I miss him so much sometimes. And trust, I was COMPLETELY TERRIBLE at him at first, but after realizing I needed to become better and look at the fundamentals of this character did I finally become better and made so many friends from it. Then I branched off to other characters of different personalities to better my writing.

So to finish this off, what I love about writing is truly getting to understand the characters I adore and want to portray at the center of who they are, and just hope I do a damn good job at it. I'll research, spend time and truly get every ounce of info on the character I can and allow the words to leave my fingers tips and onto the page or keyboard.

[coquelicoq]

I am summoned once again, and while I am dying to hear you talk more about the different 'r' sounds in french (i never thought so much about it ngl i am fascinated), I will instead ask one vowel /ɑ̃/ and one consonnant /ʒ/ if that's okay? -☆

[re the french phoneme fic trope ask game]

/ʒ/ my beloved 🥰 this exists in my native english, so i will call our relationship an arranged marriage, in that its inclusion in my personal phoneme inventory is entirely dependent on the choices of my parents (i.e., to speak english to me from birth (though they are both monolingual so it wasn't much of a choice lol)). but it's one of those happy circumstances where after i spent some time getting to know it in my teen years, i fell in love with it of my own accord and now we're very happy together!!

the funny thing about you asking me about /ʒ/ in the context of french is that even though it is an english sound (including in the word 'leisure', which is SUCH a baller word to pronounce. mouthfeel off the charts), i always think of it primarily as a french sound? it's just very frenchy to me. maybe because the french word 'je' is often shortened to just this sound. also french has an easy way to write it (j/ge/gi all correspond to it pretty unambiguously, with the exception of some /dʒ/ affricates found in anglicisms (fucking english. typical)), whereas in english it's just another one of the seventy-five ways the letter s can be pronounced 🙄 and if you need to transcribe it for slang that doesn't have an agreed-upon spelling, good luck lol. if i want to say "the usual" but leave off the last two syllables, how do i spell that? can't say "the us" because that looks like the pronoun 'us' or 'U.S.' "the uz" looks like it would be pronounced like 'ooze'. i've seen "the uj", which took me a while to figure out, "the yooj", which is clearer but looks comical in a way that distracts me from the content of the sentence, and "the uzh", which is generally what i go with, but we're all just winging it. so inefficient. to be clear though, none of this is /ʒ/'s fault! she can't be held responsible for how she's spelled, she's an angel and we're glad she's here, it's just that french knows how to treat her (like a lady) and maybe that's why i more strongly associate her with french than with english.

/ɑ̃/ is another sound that technically exists in my dialect of english as well, though i feel like it might be a more open vowel (meaning the tongue is lower in the mouth) in french than it is in english? they feel slightly different in my mouth when i say them. also, /ɑ̃/ is phonemic in french in a way it isn't in english - for the most part in english, vowels are nasalized before nasal consonants and not in other environments, whereas in french you don't even have to say the nasal consonant, you just nasalize the vowel and bam, new phoneme. which is pretty sexy, i think we can all agree (<-person completely out of touch with how little most people care about phonetics voice).

anyway, how to describe my relationship to /ɑ̃/ in shipping language, as per the original assignment...that's a tricky one. the elephant in the room when talking about me and /ɑ̃/ is actually /ɔ̃/. /ɑ̃/ and /ɔ̃/ are pronounced very similarly - the difference is that the lips are rounded and the mouth is slightly less open for /ɔ̃/. in my dialect of english, /ɔ̃/ (and its non-nasal equivalent, /ɔ/) doesn't exist at all. (this is called the cot-caught merger, because 'cot' and 'caught' sound the same ((kɑt]) in my dialect.) so the fact that (standard parisian) french has both the /ɑ̃/ and /ɔ̃/ phonemes is problematic for me; i hear both of them as /ɑ̃/ and therefore can't tell the difference between, e.g., banc and bon. this means i overuse /ɑ̃/ in french, at the expense of /ɔ̃/. so i would actually call this arranged marriage (with /ɑ̃/) that is simultaneously a slow burn with a side of unrequited pining (with /ɔ̃/) and ot3 endgame. i think probably the unrequited pining was from /ɔ̃/ to me in the early years, but eventually it grew tired of me never even acknowledging my existence and decided i could go fuck myself. by the time i had grown up and opened my eyes to the beauty of /ɔ̃/, it was too late... i'm still doing my best to win it over, though. calling it a slow burn is maybe overly optimistic, but what can i say? i live in hope.

[vyvie]

Untitled and Unnamed

I turn in another half done assignment, not bothering to check if my name is even on it. I might get a better grade if it’s marked missing anyways. I just can’t seem to hold onto my focus. It seems to slip out from between my fingers, and the harder I try to hold onto it, the harder it is to grasp. But there isn’t anything that I can really do about it, so I make do. Guilt and I have a very close relationship. It seems to be all I’m feeling these days. Didn’t do this assignment, didn’t do that assignment. I hardly leave my room anymore, I just wallow in my own whirlwind of thoughts and ideas that never come into focus, like a bad camera.

Everything used to come so easily to me, my attention unwavering during lessons, answers practically being whispered to me with how clear they are in my mind. I don’t know what happened. I feel like something has snapped in my brain, and now it’s like the chain fell off my bike. I pedal all I want, but I don’t make it anywhere. All I do is burn time and energy, and I gain nothing but confusion and guilt. All I feel like is that I’m getting dumber and dumber by the day, even the things that came so easily to me before are just out of my reach.

My mom says it’s just because high school is harder, but I don’t believe her. It’s the same stuff, English, history, math. It’s not that it’s harder here, it’s that I’m worse than I was. That was my limit, and it’s all downhill from here. I don't want to think that I peaked in middle school, but that’s what happened. My partner tells me that it’s not my fault, and that it’s something in my brain, but I don’t believe them. Obviously there’s something wrong with me, but blaming my incompetence on anything but myself is absurd. 

Now I’m laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, knowing that I have at least three projects that are due by the end of this week, two of which I haven’t even started yet. But it’ll be fine. They’ll get done, probably around the same time that I’m supposed to be sleeping. But four hours a night hasn’t caught up with me yet, so I can’t imagine that will change this week. I try to piece together a thought, but it just doesn’t work. It’s like my brain is full of cotton balls, and I’m struggling blindly to find the different pieces of the puzzle. I get up, and walk past the assignments I need to complete. Maybe there’s something I have to clean.

My room goes from pigsty to pristine, entirely depending on how much my mind needs to run away from the work I have to be doing. I write half of an English paper. Then delete it. I can’t turn that in. So I sit, and stare at the wall, or the floor, or the spider slowly building a web in the corner of my room. Anything but the work that makes me shake with stress. I mean, who actually cares about The Catcher in the Rye. I definitely don’t, which is why I’m using summaries and articles to tell me about the book instead of reading it. I can’t sit down and read something anymore. I used to love to read.

I feel like my identity, everything that set me apart from everyone else, that made me unique, is gone, and that I’m just blending in with everyone else again. What was my personality? Who am I? Does anyone know? I feel like I’ve lost myself, and I can’t find the person that I am supposed to be. Maybe they died in eighth grade.

Unanswered texts fill my phone notifications. I swipe them away. I don’t have the energy to talk today. 2 hours later, I pull myself from my bed, and deep clean my room for 4 hours. I don’t have the energy to do work, I tell myself as I do every chore, every task in my house. Other than the things that need to be done. I’m being so productive, getting nothing done. I’m so tired of this. I lay in my bed, midnight now, and I don’t sleep. How could I, with how many things are stuck in my head that I can’t seem to get out. I’ll do that English paper, and all three of those projects tomorrow. I’m sure I’ll have more energy tomorrow.

[bakery-anon]

I MISSED YOU TOO BAKERY ANON !! i’ve been okay !! just going to school and work so nothing that exciting, just very busy busy so i’ve only really been online during night BUT it’s helping me decrease my screentime so it’s kind of good!!(but i do miss being chronically online with everyone else<//3

i’m sorry things have been stressful for you, i’m manifesting better days for you right now :(( things might seem hard now but they’re going to get better eventually! it sucks that your chef keeps taking away your class time from you but hopefully you’re able to catch up eventually. take things one day at a time and everything will be okay <3333 something that helps me organize a bit when i’m stressed is to write it down in my memo pad so that i can visually see the things i need to do, and !! crossing things out seem so rewarding so i get a bit more motivated to push myself a bit! (BUT don’t push yourself too hard bug please just prioritize yourself over anything <333) i also hope your english teacher is lenient and understanding of your situation, if it gets too much though i definitely suggest just talking to them just so that they can be a bit more understanding of you being behind in everything

IM GLAD YOURE ABLE TO STAY HOME TOMORROW YIPPPE!!! take all the rest you need and cool down! your week sounds so so stressful right now so it’s definitely good to take time for yourself!! <33333 i hope your day tomorrow is better than today, i wish i could literally fly over to you and take some burden off of your hands </3333 (im NOT a good baker nor am i really a writer but i will try!!) but it sounds like you have a good support system with you so im really glad for that <33333 cheeseburger macaroni actually sounds good and interesting?? i’ve never tried it heard of that before!! but comfort meals are always the best!!

we can cheers our water bottles while we drink! i’ll always read your little rants whenever <333 i had some vietnamese food my mom made earlier as dinner but!! i will get a snack now in honor of you !!(pretzels i’m coming for you) i love you bug!! i hope this message isn’t too long <333 manifesting better days for you!! take care of yourself as always and be nice to yourself, thank you for always being so kind and bringing such a warm environment to the community, so make sure you take care of yourself too <3333 xoxoxo

MANGO ANON <33333

Omg I completely get how you feel </333 I’ve been so busy and just want to catch up on all the fics I’m behind on (reading and writing). I’m still chronically online but not like how I was over the summer </333 I hope work and school let up a little bit so you can relax and have some free time soon <333

I’m manifesting good days for you too mango anon <3 you deserve only the best in life. I’m hoping I’ll be able to catch up on everything tomorrow 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ after much needed sleep. I literally came home and slept from like 3-9:30 and almost just went back to sleep. Instead I made myself food and now I’m awake lol. My motivation is complaining to my friends about things I need to do and them going “okay so do it.” (In a loving way). I’m gonna try my best not to push myself too hard!!! Yeah, my English teacher is pretty lenient. He doesn’t really take points off for late assignments but I keep forgetting to turn my stuff in bcs you have to email it to him instead of there being like a “submit” button or anything. He’s chill. Slowly but surely I’m catching up to where I need to be in my classes.

My mother giving me Mother Mandated Mental Health Days is my saving grace during the school year. I drag myself upstairs and she goes “mental health day tomorrow?” And I nod my head and go to sleep. I’m gonna sleep so much tomorrow omg- I thought about going to school but I’m just so tired </3 come on over!!! I’ll make you fruit bars and we can have a game night!!! <3333 I usually stress bake but we don’t have anything at home to bake so </3 one day very soon I will stress bake. Cheeseburger macaroni is as it sounds! Macaroni with hamburger in it. We get the Hamburger Helper but I also like doing it with velveeta Mac n Cheese. 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Yes cheers 🥂 (<- fizzy apple juice) finishing off my water bottle right now and about to get another one. Awww <333 I’ll read your rants or rambles anytime too <333 ooh!!! That sounds so good!!! Pretzels my beloveds <333 I hope you enjoy your snack <3 I LOVE YOU TOO MANGO ANON <33333 also bro, what do you mean message is too long??? Do you see my replies to you??? /lh Yap sessions are never too long (tumblr cuts off DM messages at like 747 words </3) but yap all you want. I will happily respond, yapping is my favorite pastime. Manifesting good days for you too <3 I’m getting better about being nice to myself! You make sure to be kind to yourself too mango anon! We all love you so much!!! <3 Thank you for thinking I’m kind and warm, I’m legit gonna think about that forever now thanks <3

You’re so beach coded omg. Sorry, I really like the beach so you remind me of the beach. It’s a calming place for me like the waves and the sand and stuff. Idk you just remind me of the beach and like hunting for seashells. Thank you for checking in everyone and continuing to be a positive presence in everyone’s askbox. I love you mango anon, please take care of yourself too <333 and you’re welcome anytime in my inbox so feel free to send an ask in whenever! <33

[th3houseofleaves]

i am simply thinking about samuel vasilyev today.

he's such a good older brother and teacher.

like i just know his students love him because he's so chill? and he tries so hard to make sure all his assignments n such are accessible to all of his students. bc he's got enough experience with his siblings and his cousin to understand that sometimes, school can be hard. not everyone learns the same.

spending time with noah and seeing some of the difficulties he has reading (bc the language he first learned to read in wasn't english AND dyslexia on top of that) and he decides to research more accessible fonts n types of assignments n books n such for his students that would benefit from them. within the first couple of weeks after he's started offering alternate versions of text (usually that he's personally retyped in a dyslexia friendly font, or that he's found in different languages [as they're available] on the off chance that one of his students isn't as comfortable reading in english as they might be in there first language, something that he definitely understands) students that had been struggling and performing poorly start to improve bc they! can actually understand the assignments and it's not so frustrating to sit down and do them.

& spending time with his cousin milan, someone with the WORST adhd who struggles so much with school, pushes him to figure out ways he can accommodate students that he has that are neurodivergent. he asks milan what usually works best for him and he says that it's the easiest for him to learn when he can listen to the lesson in a recording while working on the assignment, sitting in a lecture hall is hard for him but when he actually records the lecture and can listen back to it, he figured out that he understands things better AND it lets him learn while also keeping himself busy!! bc milan can sit still but it's easier for him to focus on one thing if he's doing another.

so sam takes that into account and when he can he finds audio sources for some of the stuff he assigns to read and shares those resources with his students. he lets them record his lessons, or even does it himself, so that they can listen to it later if they need to and even for neurotypical students, once he starts doing this? grades start improving a lot and students are less stressed about completing assignments and coming to class.

and sam makes sure his students know that if they need any kind of accommodation, he will try and do that for them. if one student needs a little bit more time to do an assignment, he'll give it no questions asked. if a student tells them they have anxiety attacks when they test, he'll ask how he can help and if that means that when they test with him they get to listen to their music or take their test during their free period / lunch period than he'll do it. if a student is worried about having a fidget or about needing to stand or move during class he explains that as long as they're not purposefully trying to disrupt class than they're okay to do what they need. he starts adding visuals to his assignments and using more clearly defined prompts instead of vague ones when students tell him that they learn better when they can see examples or they struggle to complete an assignment when it's not clearly laid out for them. like yes, if it's something requiring their opinion or whatever he's not completely telling them what to write but he is letting them know like. what he wants them to write about? if that makes sense. he's not just asking them to comment on what they read without explaining what exactly he'd like to see. (this is based on my own struggles with my soc class last semester bc my professor didn't have prompts for our weekly discussion posts so i had anxiety attacks bc i had no idea what she expected from me bc i need rules to exist lmao)

and he refuses to startle any of his students who fall asleep during class. he's had that happen to him as a kid and he quite literally ran from the class because it triggered him real real bad. and he's seen how both his brothers react when someone does that and. he's not about to get fucking punched at school lmao (if you wake aeron up and catch them by surprise they come out swinging, something that noah failed to mention the first time sam tried to gently shake aeron awake. the incident ended with aeron apologizing over and over and sam holding an ice pack to his face and rocking a black eye for like the next week.) the other thing with this is, if a kid falls asleep in his class he's gonna figure they need the sleep. he knows how stressful high school / middle school is (idk what year he teaches atm) and he knows what the workload is like + a lot of his students have other responsibilities outside of school. he gets that they're bound to be tired as hell. so if they need to take a little nap during the period they're with him than so be it. he's got the lessons recorded anyways and he knows his students are surprisingly good at helping each other out?

other teachers don't understand why he's so fucking popular lmao and he's like ??? im literally doing the bare minimum and not being a dickhead to these kids i really don't get it either.

he doesn't see anything he does as going above and beyond when it is! he's using so much of his limited free time to make learning easier for his students! he's doing so much, he's doing more than basically every teacher bc they don't have the time or the resources!! and that's no shame on them at all. being a teacher is hard as hell.

[clementines-writing-corner]

mental health, the inadequacy of words, & being kind to yourself

Hello friends.

I am going to be very transparent with you all. I did not get anything done this week. It was a very rough week for me mental health-wise and I could barely drag myself through completing my class assignments, let alone think about writing creatively for fun. (Technically this blog is a class assignment for now, but I try to think of it as a fun hobby so I don’t burn my inspiration out. Having to post once a week for class is just extra motivation to continue to work on my creative writing as opposed to neglecting it for “more important tasks”.) 

I was disgusted with myself this week. I was bone dead exhausted. I kept wanting to cry and cry and cry and never stop, yet the tears would never come. I was so, so very angry, at life, at the world, at myself,  in a way that I rarely ever experience. I felt like I could shatter to pieces at any minute. 

I had a talk with my cousin the other night at a family birthday party about the inadequacy of language, particularly the English language, to truly capture emotion. I envy poets and authors who have the skills to evoke even a mere fraction of the emotions they are feeling or projecting upon their characters through the limited conventions of words. I hope to harness such skills someday. I am most certainly not there yet. I cannot even begin to describe to you the depths of my headspace this past week, and yet I still try. To be quite frank, I have not had a depressive episode so bad in months. It makes me all the more glad that I finally made the decision to attend therapy/counseling. 

I know at least one thing my wonderful therapist (she truly is lovely) will tell me when I visit her this week. I need to practice being kind to myself during tough times. I often get so frustrated when I can’t find the motivation to “properly” do my work or devote my time and energy to something important or beneficial, such as working my creative writing muscles as I do in this blog. And I have always been the type of person to project that frustration and anger inwards, instead of letting it explode outwards. But being negative will only keep me trapped in a vicious cycle of mean thoughts and hurt feelings. Being kind to myself, and giving myself space to rest, recharge, and eventually regain motivation is extremely important. I would do well to remember that more often. And I don’t think I’m the only one who could use a reminder. 

I apologize for dumping that on y’all and the jumbled mess I feel that this post has become, but I think it’s important to be transparent about my ups and downs, in life as well as in my writing. I’m still pulling myself out of the hole I dug this past week. Yet, I do want to reassure you all that I am okay. I may not be great, or even good, but I will get there in time. I am okay.

Whatever you all are going through this week, please remember to be kind to yourselves. And even when it’s hard to, try to remember to dot your j’s and cross your t’s. (Sometimes satisfaction is found in the little things.) It will get better soon. It will.

With lots of love and positive vibes to carry you into this next week, 

~Clementine J. Quincey 🪷

P.S. This post was a bit of a downer (much like my week) so here is something that made me smile this past week; a bright spot in the midst of some cloudy weather, if you will. 

Autumn is my favorite season, (I oft tell my friends I was built for autumnal weather), and this song is just so hauntingly beautiful and melancholic. It almost hurts in a good way. When I stumbled across it this past week, I played it on full blast in my car with my heat pumping but the windows rolled all the way down on my way to class. It was the best. ᕱ__ᕱ

[lachlanhumphrey]

123 Steps to Become a SEO Writer

I never considered myself to be an SEO writer, but with time I realised that as a writer who devotes time to writing blogs and articles, I can investigate this topic. You might now be thinking there is nothing new in it. I concur that no writer can achieve SEO success from the very first day of writing.

Now here my intention is merely to express my opinions so that a new aspirant, who has been assigned a task of producing search engine optimization (SEO) friendly content, can acquire a general notion on this specific type of writing style, instead of getting annoyed to listen to this particular word 'SEO article'.

Well, I'm going to presume that you, my reader, are already writers and are fully aware of the fact that your first responsibility as a writer is to help them understand the concept you're trying to get over.

However, I believe that there is nothing special about grammar when you start writing because English is a language that permits you to read and write in your own way while keeping simple basis things correct; if I am completely wrong then we might not hear the words like "bestest" and the like. At the same time, this is much that I can take for granted that you well, revise the writing to make it grammatically perfect.

I'll venture to aid or provide you with a few strategies to improve your writing SEO friendly once you can clearly communicate the topic to your reader:

You must first comprehend what keywords are. I won't define it here because you can learn more about it on Google than I ever could. What I'm trying to say is that you need to understand why you're selecting a keyword and what it actually means. You can never begin experimenting with given keywords if you don't understand what they mean.

If I say that knowing how to utilise keywords is the second item, then I must add that you should only use them when you can incorporate them into a meaningful statement. Never try to force a keyword into a statement if the sentence's context forbids it.

Most of the time, you try to employ them unnecessarily under the pressure of the optimizer. Your optimizer or the client must comprehend that if an article is overstuffed with keywords, good article directories—Ezine is undoubtedly one—and even the search engines will ignore it! Just 1% density is required.

Making suitable keyword placement is the very next stage. Never ever believe that inserting keywords wherever in your work and keeping a density of 1% would take care of everything for you. Thus, the challenge is not just to sate a visitor's hunger—you also need to comprehend the search spider's indexing methodology.

If not in the first line, then definitely between the first 20 and 50 lines, the keyword placement is always preferred at the beginning of the writing. If you look at the Google webmaster tool or read the primary blog posts for webmasters, you can find a guidance regarding Google's indexing procedure.

Maintaining the writing's appeal is another important consideration. You should never appear manufactured right away. You need to give your reader the impression that you are simply speaking with them. You are not trying to sell anything, offer a service, or draw attention to anything in particular.

Just demonstrate your main objective of leading the reader to your specific purpose. Until you have a related subject to educate your reader on, preaching or lecturing is a horrible idea. Always convey thought through your writing, as this will keep the audience interested.

Read More: Freelance Writing Advice: 3 Pieces of Advice on How to Find Online Writing Gigs That Pay Well