#I need my snackies

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[phoenixfangs]

also nobody asked and im sure its been articulated better by people much smarter than me, but this whole thing reminds me of that post thats going around thats like "u people are using twink to derogatorily call people faggots without calling them faggots"

like, not only do people not know the difference between topping/bottoming and domming/subbing, BUT u all still equate bottoming/subbing with weakness and femininity in a Bad Way, as if its some kind of negative mark against a person or a character. like its an Insult to assert someone could not only bottom/sub but Want To. not just men but women too, like a woman (fictional or otherwise) is Wrong to not want to subvert that expectation to achieve some kind of completely arbitrary and fictional progressive appeal. and frankly not only is that absurd, its fucking stupid and not as progressive as people would like to think. in fact its quite the opposite, assigning someone value based on whether or not they fit into ur mold of what makes someone a progressive, transgressive, subversive, Whatever ideal of what role they occupy in a relationship—being so attached to rigid roles like that is about as normative and limiting and Not Subversive as it gets

[mamawasatesttube]

(guy with chronic migraines voice) you will never guess what unfortunate circumstance has befallen me today.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

might have already been highlighted but haven't spotted it - calling all uk good omens besties, s2 drops for us at ✨1am on 28th✨

(ie not 8am BST, equivalent to midnight PST in the US)

[shouldering-worlds]

maybe I'm autistic, but I'm having that feminine urge to be prepared for any scenario all in one bag

[hitwiththetmnt]

There’s not a better feeling in the world when you sit down to eat a ridiculously late lunch and your favorite YouTuber uploads at the same time

[venerablehoney]

this is the definition of an angel baby

[caffeinatedopossum]

Getting better is scary. Every time I gain something, I have even more to lose. Anytime I start to believe I didn't deserve all the things that happened to me, it just hurts more. And what's more than that, I'm scared of how far it will go. Like what if I don't stop at just "healthy" self worth? What if I become egotistical and entitled? Already, I've started expecting so much more from people and it scares me. Every step I take to get better is a tentative one

[archduke-enver-gortash]

would gort call eke his little lamb as well. he would wouldn’t he

[old-habits-die-screaming]

i need yellowjackets s3 like rn this is taking too long

[kiiiiiim]

"You'll get more social as you get older!" Bullshit I'm almost 33 years old and if anything I'm turning more and more into an anxious hermit crab disappearing into its shell with every day I inhabit this noisy noisy earth

[queer-ragnelle]

New Kay-inflicted nickname just dropped. Sagremore-Starvation. Now everyone stop bullying our favorite hypoglycemic knight and get him a snack!

[hawnks]

hi! I found you on ao3 and i am kissing you on the mouth rn im so insane over how you write literally finished reading the other state of matter and i am crying in the corner of the tension yet soft reciprocation of reader and shouto?!?!

literally you wrote them to be so perfect for each other i am down bad kicking my legs twirling my hair typing into this ask box. you're so funny and cool for writing i love you so much thank you for being here <3333

Wahhhhhhhhggg thank u!! ;o;

When I say that fic was a labor of love, the emphasis is on labor skkskdkd.

[suchamazingness]

We need to make like sword sheaths for umbrellas. So you can sling it over your back and not get wet or sunburned and not have to carry it. Also it would fuck severely

[barbieidol]

*peeks*

[castielsprostate]

i think they should've let castiel eat glass. a little crunchy snack.... maybe bones also