#I need it to be real so bad tho even though I said its more fun to imagine but also I want it to happen really bad 😭

[turnaboutstar]

no longer want dnp to play ace attorney it's more fun to imagine how they would react to random shit in attorney while playing it fr

[domesticated-whores]

choked so hard swallowing my drink down the wrong way that I almost puked and I'm still kinda nauseous hours later, so lol. also, friend (the mutual work friend of me and my man that actually hangs out with him outside of work) witnessed and started saying something about how some people choke on things like that bad enough that it kinda spooks them from drinking and they get dehydrated out of paranoia (no idea if that's true, sounds fake but whatever, he's one of those people yk?) and my dumb ass, full of autism and pure thoughts only, said "damn, if that were a problem I wouldn't be able to put nothing in my mouth, my gag reflex is shit 😞😞" which has probably made it's way to my man. because I'm stupid and was really woozy from coughing til I almost vomited and totally didn't think of what I was saying.

[blkkizzat]

kali. elaborate on choso's dick😋

pasiiii bby!!! omg yass i would love to expand on bbygyal chosito's ochinchin.

our chositos dick is the perfect size tbh. its not lung penetrating long like gojos or rip your walls thicc like tojis. but clocking in at 7.53 inches long and 5.58 inches in girth (avg girth is 4.8-5.3). so hes still above average but we don't feel like we are dying taking it hfkshfkjsd.

color wise? tip: #db6e79 (you're low key kinda scared how rosy and angry it looks) shaft: f5d8c6 cummies: #fcfbfa

you feel just the tiniest bit of discomfort. i say tiny cause this man is HUGE on foreplay so you will be more than ready and stretched out (i mean it, it dont matter if y'all in the backseat of the car he will BE your seat and want you to ride his face for at least 20 minutes, thats quickie foreplay to him LOL).

his tip is slighty larger though so getting it in or just the tip is a bit of a struggle but its not too bad onces hes inside. there's an upward curve to his dick that deliciously scrapes his tip along your g-spot when he pulls out and slams back in. oh you couldn't squirt before? best believe you a fountain now bitch shdkfdfhbksj.

before you even see his dick you see how hard its thumping in his tattered black jeans. bbygal gets REAL excited at the thought of fucking us and he's not soo overly large where his cock is too heavy to still twitch as much as it does. you will visibly see (and noticeably feel beating against your walls inside) how fiercely his dick twitches in anticipation/excitement of feeling you.

when do you first see his dick, whether he's a virgin or not, you think he's already cummed his pants once you see how the fluids are slowly but steadily dribbling out of his tip. nah, mamas, thats just his pre. you really don't even need lube at all with how wet he gets you and how much pre is coating him. that said, if you thought he leaked a lot of pre out of his pretty little mushroom tip, just wait until that man is cumming inside of you. buckets hoe. BUCKETS. to the point you think there might be something medically wrong with him...

there definitely is something mentally off tho because normally guys that cum as hard as he does (body spasms, pitchy lil whines and throaty moans), would be too sensitive to continue. but he will cry thick tears rolling down his redden cheeks and onto you at the intensity of his sensitivity as he continues to rail into you. which is a good thing too because he definitely came not even one minute in.

yeah our bbygal is a minute man but our lil minute man is a trooper (no actually he just crazy asf for you to the point of masochism) and will stay hard by activating blood manipulation. yeah RIP your coochie, you better start writing the eulogy once this happens.

best to keep our baby in positions facing you so he can every once in a while snap out of his coochie hypnosis by slowing down or speeding up based on your expressions/cries. otherwise with your face stuffed in the pillow and muffled cries, he might go a little overboard in backshots. the jiggling of your ass rippling against his flesh and splashing your fluids like waves will have him transported thinking he is in the middle of a euphoric ocean, losing himself in the motions.

this is why he might not be the biggest or thickest but you will still be just as sore in the morning cause he will fuck you the longest. oh you passed out? don't worry you gave him the somnophilia pass. you don't remember? oh baby, that's cause you were far too fucked out by the time you did. tbf you didn't even remember your own name then.

but don't worry our bbygyal is sweet and is king of aftercare... once you do eventually get that aftercare... in the morning. yeah he also fucked himself unconscious and fell asleep inside you. hugging you tightly to him you're only a tiny bit crushed and overheated. but its okay cause he is so cute the way he is tonguing your nipple and cooing affectionate noises for you like a baby even in his sleep.

just softly pet his hair and try to get a few more minutes of sleep tho... you wouldn't want to wake him just yet.

you're still tired and he will have morning wood you'll have to deal with once he wakes up. ;)

[vivisviolets]

The intentions of this person💗✨🌚🌝 Positive v. Negative energy (ANY PERSON/SITUATION)

↳1, 2, 3, ↳4, 5, 6

♡★helloo, guess whattt- this was supposed to be 9 ponies but i chickened out 🐓, bc its better to let the egg crack then to just sit on it forever (explanation: its better to post instead of trying to be perfect✨💖)- also this was released early on my Patreon for a whole week! so if you wanna get messages like these sooner then come join all my other little peppermint-patty-patreon members<3 kk enjoy~*

♡ - Pile 1

♡ - Cards: Ace of Swords, The Devil (reversed), The Hanged Man

♡ - Oooh ok, Hi Pile 1s! Energy check first- this person is very sweet, or appears that way outwardly- I'm getting this taste of some sweet hard candy flavor (grape/fruit punch), honestly I think this person's sweetness or how they appear in your own energy is hitting some "hard" spot in you, I'm hearing "hard shell", but this could also be this person, as I'm picking up that while they are just as sweet if not sweeter on the inside as they are on the outside (I'm hearing ooey gooey nooo why is it always that phrase 😭), there is some possible facade that they have, that I think you are suspish of- but I feel that this type of facade they have is similar to that of a nurse/care-worker…? In fact they be in one of those roles, maybe even customer service? Either way, this goes back to that "hard spot" that was being hit/triggered, possibly in you. Hm…

Their intention: Positive ♡ - This person's energy can be a little saccharine- in terms of their sweetness, and while I think that is triggering something personal that is within you- you aren't wrong. I get the sense that this person relies too heavily on their femininity- and I say "relies" because this isn't really a healthy connection to femininity, they use the energy they can gain so as to put up a sweet/peppy front. But it's not a false front, nor is it a bad thing- it's more so they need some more grounding within themselves so they can return being more authentically them. And I definitely think if you two become closer, you could help them feel comfortable enough to do that! And they could be very beneficial to you too, so good luck pile 1! I see this as being a blossoming friendship.

-

⚡️ - Pile 2

⚡️ - Cards: Page of Pentacles (reversed), The Sun (reversed), The World

⚡️ - Ok this is interesting- Hello Pile 2 nearly said pile 3 so that might be for you as well! This is a masculine energy, and I was expecting to get a knight when drawing cards, this person is so masculine I'm tempted to use he/him- but of course this is gender neutral, only energetically this person is masculine,- I'm getting that someone here might even have a son��� This person is also quite impulsive, and their ego has a strong outward presence, they may be a Leo or have a lot of 5th house placements. It's giving "fast", they may be the type to rush through life, maybe out of an avoidant attachment,-they could be more anxious-avoidant when vulnerable/more emotional. They have a very cool style though I'm not gonna lieee (even if they dress basic, they carry themselves like a model and everyone has a camera-😳😭 bruh)- if this is romantic/sexual I don't blame you for being attracted to them because they know how to make themselves the center of the room, center of the stage if you will.

Their intention: Negative ⚡️ - Deep in a- deep in a- deep in a dark club🎶- I don't know WHY that was the song that bass-boosted into my head- but yea, while my energy reading of them was neutral, their intention towards you (and everything else in their life) is not, it's not ok- it's kinda shady ngl- it's giving f-boy I'm afraid to say. Because I'm picking for the collective you guys are very sweet, soft people- IM HEARING THEY SEE YOU AS COTTON CANDY AND THEY WANNA MUNCH- AND "RUIN" YOU😭😱⁉️ oh no-no-no-nooo get out… Um- get out. Sorry anyways- for real tho, the energy you have is pure. And Jesus Christ- next to this individual, their energy level is bottom of the well- not even bottom of the barrel- it's slimy. Even though they make themselves out to be so bright and eye catching, it's all fake- it's like they're a fluorescent light, while you are sunlight… Yea just don't, ok? Literally best remedy is to ignore them, it may feel like they're taking away your spotlight, but it's actually the other way around. Out of sight out of mind. Something better is coming. Fucking trust me

- 🐌 - Pile 3

🐌 - Cards: Queen of Cups, 10 of Pentacles, 10 of Cups (Reversed)

🐌 - Awe ok they're cute, Hi Pile 3~ welcome-welcome, it's giving demure, it's giving mindful- it's giving shy- awww, this person is quiet. They are tapped into their emotions- and everything makes them anxious BHAHA that is what I am picking up, for some of you this is a new person on your radar- that came in after you let go of someone, good for you! Because this situation is actually going to offer a bit of healing, I'm seeing butterflies- very soft, simple, distracting- but good distracting! Honestly I keep hearing "delicate", even if this person is perceived as masc, they have a sensitivity to them- but what's unique about them is that sensitivity extends outward, outside of themselves. They may work with animals, pet shop, pet care- and they may have more (perceived as) "delicate" hobbies- I'm hearing book reading/bookworm, crochet, journaling, and being in nature! Their intention: Positive 🐌 - While I write positive- for most of you here I don't see this working out -working out as in long term, I mean. (This could even represent a job position- and it'll be a temporary one)-- because the point of gaining this connection was to offer you a breath of fresh air as you stepped into this new phase in your life. If this is a relationship/friendship, they were there to show you- you have options, that you have good options- if this is only a crush or admirer, it's to show you that you are attractive, and to give you a healthy ego boost. And finally if this is a job position, it's to teach you positive lessons and for you to gain information- before you are sent off to somewhere better- or someone, who's a better match (even if that's just yourself 💗). - 🦅 - Pile 4

🦅 - Cards: 8 of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles (reversed), Ace of Swords 🦅 - Sup' Pile 4! Welcome-welcome, I sense this maybe a shorter pile as most of you here are asking about a recent acquaintance- and or your energy is just that peaceful currently- idk. The person on your mind you may have met online or in a group setting of some kind, and even though you have not interacted much, this person is quite cheerful when they talk to you, maybe you have talked enough within the group that they have sought you out one-on-one (if that has not happened it will, they are eager to speak to you further)- and you guys have either connected with each other based on art/creative projects, or a shared tv series/fandom!

Their intention: Positive 🦅 - I see this being a very light hearted connection, the kind where you know of each other and are able to-- finish a potato sack race together, you know? Your personalities go together well like pb&j,- it's just not a relationship that can get much deeper then that, just FYI and there is nothing wrong with that! You two share some cute inside jokes and may remember certain details about each other and that's enough!- and a reminder to always share kindness, but especially to focus on giving your energy to those closest to you~! - ⚝ - Pile 5

⚝ - Cards: 2 of cups, nine of Pentacles, Queen of cups, 3 of Pentacles (bonus) ⚝ - Someone here is very nurturing- maybe it's them, or you could be reading through this reading because you are nurturing- but maybe it's both of you! Maybe it's this relationship, the pair of you together that creates nurturance💛. How lovely- you may have just found your match! You might not realize it at first, sometimes we get so used to searching that we don't realized we already got what we've been looking for just under our nose~ awe pile 5, this is truly so wonderful… But this is the energy check in so let me continue picking up this person's aura/energy- honestly this could even be a mother figure in your life, and them and your inner child are healing together💛🌟- but this also could be someone you have met and have become friends with!- however they identify, they have a very divine feminine/divine mother energy to them, and honestly this may show up in their appearance (I'm seeing a heavier/plumper body type, rounded hips, round face, round lips, rounded/soft/fluffy hair- again regardless of gender!!), they may have prominent/strong cancer placements (maybe Leo as well), they're the type that artists would have used back then to model for paintings/sculptures, they're majestic even if they dress/appear super ordinary, and you may have met them via work as there's something about this connection that still feels a little reserved. They know how to get along well with people, as they appear very kind and non-threatening!

Their intention: Positive ⚝ - Please get to know them more!!! This is your sign that they are safe to get to know/get closer to. Just be gentle and don't be nervous, this is a connection to enjoy, remember that peacefulness kindness is something that relationships should have, even if that feels unfimilar to you❤️❤️. They can give to you like how you give to others, balance is key and they are more then capable of being a part of said balance!! Now go out to brunch with them goddamn it!!!! - Pile 6

★ - Cards: The Star (reversed), Justice (reversed), Two of Pentacles ★ - Okkk, cards I pulled were interesting- chille- Hi Pile 6. some of yall are thinking about multiple people (a friend group?), and some are thinking of just one person. They have some sense of style that caught your eye, this could be their aesthetic, appearance, behavior, charisma, etc. They may be someone who stands out in a group, and they may have “player” energy but it’s turned attractive by their personality. I’m seeing a lot of smiling and laughing, their jokes can make people feel cared for, they may have an accent, or they may be loud- their voice is recognizable in some way. I’m hearing “they know how to be funny, and then walk out the door 🚪), oh nooo- for some of you this person may come across passive aggressive at very random times, and for other’s this person tends to randomly ”shut down”/disengage, they always have something to say, until they don’t, and they’re always “locked in” until they’re not. They’re touch and go, willing to put in the effort to have a good time. I’m seeing this is something they learned to do out of a place of insecurity, and they tend to see people for what they can do for them, and if the person is not doing that, then they refocus on something else/another person.

Their intention: Negative ★ - I don’t know if this person’s energy is positive, or negative to be honest,- because I’m seeing they have desires for you, just like how you have desires for them and there’s chemistry. I think the only thing that made me define it as negative is that this person is aiming for a “friends w/ benefits” situation, and I don’t believe you truly want that pile 6. because I’m seeing that this person won’t even be a “friend” to you, very hot and cold, talkative and complimentary one moment then fully apathtic the next- because they do not like you- so much as they enjoy the chemistry when it’s good. I’m seeing moments where you are trying to talk about your day, and they remain on their phone, and you almost feel like you’re annoying them, even tho they were fine with talking 3 minutes ago and laughing. spirit’s harsh advice is that this is a waste of your energy and the benefits aren’t worth it/aren’t for you, and even though you act chill/fine with it, you know you want something more and you’re deserving of having that, and to not take it safe anymore with these nowhere relationships.. but to be fair to you, if you want those types of casual relationships with only “fun” then go off then- but still, weed out the ones who are less worth your time, because you have several. and this won’t be an energy you can stay in forever.

. . . why do i feel like playing roblox i don't even have roblox

love, vi~♡

[antoncore]

Hii ceebear !!! Idk who gabe u that nickname or whatever related to it, but i saw someone call u that on the tl, and like IM CALLING U THAT IDC (if ur okay w it) LIKE WTF ITS SUCH A CUTE NICKNAME CEEBEAR !!! CEECEEBEAR!!! also.... U should give me a nickname 🫣🫣🫣 instead of just being choc anon.... So i have a really ethnic name... So i don't have like a "white" nickname, so im giving u the liberty to give me a nickname based off of whatever vibes u get from me 🤩🤩🤩 pls don't feel pressured to do so tho..

Anyways!! U said u wanted to chat.... Lets chat !!! Also i realised that I've never sent smth abt all the riize members and am always taking abt 01z... Im so sorry 😔😔 lemme reedem myself real quick! Hold on tight bcoz ur in for a ride 😱🙆🏾‍♀️🙆🏾‍♀️

1. Shotaro: YUGUGHUG UM... i need to kiss him while he giggles... Also um.. reslly weird but why do i feel like he'd be so lost in the pleasure while ur... And start praising u in Japanese 😱😱🫣🫣🫣 also also also omg dancer taro 🤩😱 need to help him relieve his stress after a stressful dance session, he'd be so sweet abt it too.... Letting u do ur thing 😋😋😋

2. MY POOKIE WOOKIE EUNSEOK: imma keep is short n simple since i always ralk Abt him. I need traditional husband eunseok rn. Like all i can imagine is him sitting w yalld kids when ur non home and be like "what should we get mommy for her bday, hmm?" LIKE AHAAHS HE'D BE SO CONSIDERATE AND SPOIL U SM

3. POOKIE WOOKIE (2) KEEPING IT SHORT N SIMPLE (2): one thing. 3 words. Bsfs brother sungchan. Little game of hide n seek, hiding from ur bsf, late night meet ups AHAHAHA 😭

4. WONBINBIN: um.. if I don't get to suck hickies onto that man's adams apple....goodbye 👋🏾🫂 running ur hands up n down his biceps OH LORD ?! ALSO he just seems so sweet to me.. like i cannot imagine hard dom wonbin im sorry 😭😭😭 bcoz he'd smile at you so sweetly, but also be very messy in a way. And he would give such good head ahahaaa pls ?!?! 😋😋😋😋 Im dying i need wonbin between these legs RN RN

5. Soheehee: bsf sohee while the tension builds up.... In a big friend group too, the lingering touches, sneakily meeting up... Y'all think ur slick but ur really not! Sohee gives making out behind the building of ur class! Ooh and his hands 😐 OMG... Sohee fingering u... So slowly and nicely, pleasing u so well 🫶🏾 also he'd definitely keep wanting to kiss u while ur fucking, thus why always laying u om ur back....cute pecks w each thrust 🥴🥴🫣

6. Bring my MAN BACK RN: okay really controversial take rn... But STAY W ME PLS FOR THE PLOT 😐🫶🏾🫶🏾 seunghan and u sneaking around... Bcoz he's like the typical bad boy, and ur parents HATE HIM... Ofc as mhch as hes a "bad boy" on the outside he's the sweetest kindest to u, having ur firsts w him....him getting u addicted to sneaking out the window just to make out with him .... It all slowly getting more and more hotter.... (I will expand on this in the next ask, bcoz i have. A LOT TO SAY 😋😋)

7. Tonnie cuttie: campus coupls anton * reader !!!! both of u being the top of ur classes, but still making so much time for eacher! Even though yall study most the time and have study dates, he gets a little... Impatient sometimes... Both of u finding urselves behind the last shelf in the library making out... Also y'all being little freaks 🫣🫣🫣 every friday going to his dorm for movie night, but yk it always ends up in NASTY fucking... But it all balances out bcoz the next morning y'all go to the cafe on campus to get a nice swet breakfast together 😋😋😋😋😋 him also subtly marking u, even though EVERYONE knows ur together, he will leave his marks, to make SURE they KNOW ur his 😋😋😋 u whining abt the big hickey on ur neck, while yk you love his ways 💗💗💗

- im so sorry, hope its not TOO much ceeceebear, ily !!!!

- 🍫

hiii i’m okie with it, any nicknames are cool as long as they’re not mean (but i think that’s obvious hehe) but nickname… i can think of choccie 💀 so lmk if that’s okie with you <3 and its okay dw i understand… let me answer each one of your hcs hehe (note: i hope i did these justice)

shotaro: personally i’ve always found speaking a different language so attractive !! hmmm pussydrunk taro that starts praising you in japanese, telling you how beautiful you look under him. you’d been learning with him so when you figured out what he meant you’d gasp, grabbing onto his hair and begging him not to stop. and for sucking him off… in the practice room in front of the mirror <3 he’d be so lazy after a long day he’d just lean back into the chair and let you make him cum.

eunseok: he’d 100% shower you with the most expensive gifts he could find. you’d be going away on holiday with a whole new set of clothes, shoes, jewellery etc. and he’d make a cute lil hamper of gifts that are from your kids which would be so ADORABLE my god. and when the nanny got the kids to sleep, he’d take you out for dinner and fuck you so good when you got home 🥰

sungchan: going over to yours and telling your bsf that he’s going to visit his friend :( he’d fuck you so good, unlike any other guy you had (possibly even the first guy to actually make you cum :0) but what about one night your bsf calls you while he’s eating you out and you just have to act normal, try not to whimper as sungchan’s got his fingers deep inside you while licking your clit hajsnsnsnsns

wonbin: the mental image of wonbin between your thighs has me crazy!!!! like you don’t understand!!!! he’d look so pretty and soft, just running your hands through his hair oh god i feel like i’m seeing heaven LOL. also feel as if he could be a bed humper, moaning against you as he eats you out, just adores making you feel good :((

sohee: i love bsf sohee so much (was contemplating making a series of thoughts abt bsf sohee but it would never get done so…) but YEAH meeting separately to your friend group, trying things together. one night watching porn together and you jerk him off while he’s got his fingers deep inside you <3 moaning in each other’s mouths too god it would be so fucking hot like ISNSNSJSJ FUCK

seunghan: i see your vision !! i love this concept of him being so sweet and gentle with you, corrupting you slowly. i can see him climbing through the window and sitting on your windowsill as you make out, pulling you onto his lap hehe. but ofc i’ll let you elaborate in the next ask as you said :3

anton: humping with him as you make out between the bookshelves knowing that you probably shouldn’t but you just get too lost in it :( and going out after movie night barely being able to walk properly because of how good he fucked you :0 but it’s okie he’s bought you your favourite sweet treat so you forgive him!! also him leaving lil pecks where he left the marks whenever a guy walks by and stares at you because you’re all his !! i feel he’s got a lil bit of a possessive side hehe

[hepaidattention]

my chaotic obx4 part 1 thoughts.... without any order

OBX Spoilers!!!

JJ's name is Jackson............????????? WHATS HIS MIDDLE NAME

jiara is everything. they are my everything. they literally are all we ever wanted. would never complain for more kissing maybe, okay just slightly. like a kiss on the cheek even. but they are perfect. perfection.

ruthie. you don't even have to listen to jj's threats honey. because it's KIARA you should really be scared of. wrong pogue to make an enemy of.

protective jj makes me just.... ugh. he will do ANYTHING crazy and thoughtless and dangerous but if kiara wants to he's gonna be level headed and try to talk her out of it. he's a presh bean

absolutely love Kiara Carrera and absolutely hate her parents. wouldn't expect anything less from our girl, but the fact that her parents said "don't come back unless he's gone" and she said "okay bye then" and never looked back is just. I love her. I love jiara.

the writers really said "lets make jj's mom dead and oh yeah that asshole dad? not his real dad - raised him out of the goodness of his heart, then beat him. yeah but NO no no no noNO no sarah can't be his sister. the fans want that too bad."

the way kiara put up a pillow to make out with JJ (or more *wink*) in the chamber pod thingy *chefs kiss* and the way she and JJ had traded places, of course implying that there was definitely some rolling around going on in there *wink* best part imo (just woulda been better if we had seen them kiss but its fine IM FINE) I'm just a slut for some kiss scenes that's all. I honestly didn't even feel like their dynamic needs it. I just like to see that kissing content

I actually really love the dynamics this season. They have THREE couples in the main group and they've done amazing not making it feel like that, tbh. Though I did get frustrated because I COULD use a little more PDA sometimes, it also (especially for JJ and Kie) makes perfect sense for their characters. Plus, as friends first (and friends for so long), it's nice watching them get to slowly be more comfortable in showing affection beyond closed doors.

I know Rafe is crazy. really I do. but I really want him to become good. I love how this girl has seemed to help that, too. she's a pogue and he doesn't care - like he does but he loves her anyway and it's helped him realize why Sarah did what she did. being a pogue doesn't really change who you are. He also has shown remorse for hating on pogues, like the whole beach scene. I saw someone say they didn't understand the point but I think the point was to show us Rafe and his gf (forgot her name I'm so sorry girly), and show how mad she became, and for Rafe to realize maybe this whole pogue vs kook thing was STUPID and hurtful. It also seems to have to do with Topper development but I kind hate Topper so I don't care about him lolll

still not over the jiara kiss. THEY"VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ALMOST 2 FUCKING YEARS.

JJ. Babe. I love you. But you have dated that girl for 2 years and have not taken her out on a date???? I know, I get it, you've been very busy building a life. BUT HONEY. tsk tsk. Treat her right, sir.

Absolutely love how soft he gets towards her.

Pope: scolding

JJ: I KNOW MAN I DON'T NEED TO HEAR THIS ALRIGHT??? I DID WHAT I DID AND I DIDN'T DO NOTHING WRONG

JB: argues

JJ: IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT ACTUALLY

Kie: scolds

JJ: you're right baby I'm so sorry I'm just trying to help

the pogues being pogues. this season feels very fanfic in the best ways. like we actually got all of them living together in one house???? all just being best buds and loving one another platonically (and romantically)???? and I'm just. I love it. it's what we all asked for and it was worth the wait (tho the wait has been very very long)

it's the way Sarah and JB put up a seashell to let them know they're busy *wink* and Kiara almost walks in and says it's getting excessive IMPLYING that Sarah and Kie are roommates. which that makes me cackle because now I think JJ and JB are roommates and Kie and Sarah are roommates but JB stays in Sarah's room so much that Kie basically lives in JB and JJs room

cannot get over how solid jiara is. they're just... they're just right. they fit. and now that they've been together for 2 years working crap out, there's no silly early dating drama. it's just JJ being JJ, or Kie being Kie, and they both know each other so well they know there's not a reason to even argue. like JJ didn't even fight Kie on diving because he knew he couldn't fight her. she's too stubborn. just like Kie knows there's no need in getting mad at JJ when he does something wreckless because he does something like all the time. she knows talking to him calmly is the only way to even reach him anyway.

JJ: does something stupid

Sarah: "your bf's doing something stupid again"

Kie: "I know this and I love him."

cannot wait to see how they all get back together, or how Kie and JJ reunite, or how Kie will react to the news, or Rafe will help with this adventure, and how JJ will meet his dad (even though I wish it was Shoupe and not the random evil dude).

Also. They WOULD give JJ a death curse. SMH.

[mechs-headcanons]

if were talking about disabled mech i have plenty of headcanons to share

ivys nerves dont hook up to her mechanism 100% right so she has what im sure is a whole slew of neurological issues. her cranial nerves are mechanized though. i also usually draw her with something weird kinda like cochlear implants but fully removable since she can just unplug it or plug it back in her head

i think itd be funny if nastya was chronically dying of mercury poisoning. but even funnier if she has anemia because yep. no blood there. (it would make sense tho since i cant imagine mercury is that good at carrying oxygen). and she definitely has pots and hemophilia. also raynauds. which would probably be hell actually since most people headcanon shes really cold so i imagine shed just be having flareups all the time and never have any blood in her hands or feet. anyway i also think shes got me/cfs and maybe eds. and a nonexistant heat tolerance

Jonny's got pots and pre-mechanization had a heart defect but yk she doesnt have that heart anymore. oh and costochondritis. i headcanon new texans as nocturnal so i think hes got real bad photophobia (the eyeliners to keep the light outta his eyes) and heat intolerance. & maybe even a sun allergy.

Marius i like to think has mcas but i have no idea where that idea came from. imagining him with crutches for his knees is a lovely idea as well. i dont have too many thoughts here because thinking about Marius and medical stuff just leads to me imagining their horrible doctoring

The Toy Soldier has never been in long term possession of flesh other than the Angels vocal chords and so cant be considered disabled as such but it does occasionally pretend to have joint pain, as its joints have a lot of wear and tear and need frequent repair.

Tim i feel like has arthritis. also he's got chemical burn scars from the gas attacks. mustard gas does that. i thought i had more thoughts bout him but guess not

Raphaella's got akylosing spondylitis and lupus as well as axtually sorry no im about to pass out its about 2am here so skrry you dont get the end of raph thoughts or any of my ashes and vrian thoughts sorry. og wow i just said sorry three times

also, in my human au, among other things, raph is a wheelchair user and marius has an elbow disarticulation + at least one of their knees replaced. thats far from the only phys disabilities in it but giving an exhaustive list would take way too much time

YES AGH 🙏🙏🙏🙏

now i need to write a disabled mechs fic,,,

and dude sleep is important make sure you do that

[is-this-yuri]

i've been thinking about small talk recently.

i don't like small talk about the weather because, being homeless, the weather is a serious topic for me. it effects me more directly and intensely than other people who have climate controlled homes and workplaces. the way people talk about serious weather like blizzards and tropical storms is how i talk about rain and humidity. there's a disconnect there, and if i were to talk about the weather honestly during a bout of small talk, it could very easily be offputting to my conversation partner, which is counter to the point of small talk.

but that's because i'm homeless. i'm sure we all have personal hangups when it comes to small talk in some way. my example is just an extreme case.

here's the thing tho, i don't like small talk, but i engage in it anyway, because sometimes there can be nice moments where a real connection is made. especially with people i see regularly, like the service workers i interact with. there are people in my life who i know nothing about, not even their name, but at least i know they'll make a great sandwich for me, and i know they'll do their best because they recognize me and they appreciate that i'm nice to them. that's all there is to it.

it's a way to signal that i'm a safe person to talk to, not with the intent to continue into a friendship, but just to put them at ease when they see me, to remove the 'stranger/unknown/potentially scary' tag from over my head.

i saw a reply on a post that said small talk is basically like a dog wagging its tail to signal it's friendly. that can be a good analogy, but i would say it's more like when dogs sniff each others butts. maybe i don't want my butt sniffed today so i put my tail down and walk away. that's perfectly fine too. not everyone wants their butt sniffed.

i've learned that being fully honest and authentic during small talk with people you're not nessecarily going to be friends with isn't actually needed. i've learned not to really lie, but to give the bare minimum needed to get through the interaction. if they say 'i'm so glad it's finally raining, the plants really needed it' i wouldn't say 'actually i hate rain because i'm homeless.' i could just say 'eh, rain isnt my thing. good for the plants, though.'

it's important to be polite and considerate in public, and small talk is a very good skill to have and a lot less scary/difficult than some people make it out to be. granted, it took me 27 years to get to this point, but it's possible.

that said, i think some people make too big of a deal about small talk and connecting with strangers. it's just not that big of a deal. some people have bad days and go to the store with a scowl on their face and they ignore the cashier because they're just getting through the day. that's fine. it's fine if every day is like that for you (and as the cashier it's fine to think of them as a sad grumpypants, but not to be mean about it). maybe you just don't want your butt sniffed today for whatever reason. you're not causing physical harm to anyone by being a little grumpy or closed off, and simply not caring to make a connection of any kind with strangers is also fine. we don't all need to strive to be friendly all the time, but the benefits of it are there if we ever want them.

[dennydreadful]

HI THANKS FOR ANSWERING MY UNHINGED ASK THIS WILL BE VERY LONG BUT I READ THE COMIC IN ONE SITTING. im now going back and forth between imagining what kind of deeply toxic pseudo-vigilante shenanigans bunny (and caleb by association) get into post epilogue and thinking up scenarios where before shit got really real they both get soooooo much good therapy and heal together and end up toxicly codependent and kinda bad for each other still but in a way that doesn’t involve murder. like one of those aita posts where the general consensus is the couple should stay together bc even tho they’re both just exacerbating each others Issues at least nobody else is getting hurt. also i think dave and juicybaby hook up at some point.

have you ever seen that post that’s like “media in which it’s so very obvious all the problems could’ve been avoided if this guy got some therapy and a consensual bdsm relationship but that is very much Not What Happens in the story”? bc i feel like that applies to caleb. rip caleb you would’ve loved being a more well adjusted girl’s puppy and being led around the mall on a leash until security kicked you out. maybe next time king.

none of this to say i didn’t enjoy the comic as presented immensely btw. despite my ramblings here i think the comic ended in the most satisfying (for the audience at least) way possible. we love to see a dogboy beg for his own demise <3 we love to see a pretty girl go from justified anger to righteous rage <3 we love when characters have a deeply unhealthily fucked up perception of love and care and mental stability <3

like imo psychological horror is at its best when you take relatively normal people facing relatively mundane horrors then letting the aftermath of those horrors warp them beyond repair. in a good psych horror (at least when it’s like ii is and based on deeply human characters dealing with stuff in the most unhelpful way they can) you should be able to understand why and how things turned out like they did. you can think of a million ways it could’ve turned out differently if only the characters had seen the end coming, but the end they met was inevitable bc they *can’t* see it coming. the red flags aren’t obvious bc they increase so gradually. the bones of the building were there from the very beginning, but how were the characters supposed to know whether it’d be a home or a slaughterhouse? there were no plans, just bricks to lay and a storm coming. and that’s exactly how i felt finishing ii.

anyways. a caleb shaker charm would be so awesome i would love to go darla from finding nemo on his ass. thanks for the incredible comic my brain chemistry is different now and i’m kissing u on both cheeks in thanks MWAH MWAH

Cut because this post ended up really long, but here's Dave and Juicy:

idyllic island is a big old vent comic in a lot of ways. i drew on a lot of my own emotions and experiences to make it. i was in a very dark place for a very long time. i could have very easily gone down an even worse path, and very easily have been taken advantage of in a very dangerous way. but "guy goes to therapy and learns how to stop climbing into a wood chipper" is not a terribly interesting story imo, even if it's obviously the better outcome in real life. much more interesting to read about characters hurtling headlong towards certain doom lol

that said i always enjoy a good tragedy that leaves me feeling like "it didn't need to be like this..." (even though I know it was always the only way it was ever going to be) and imagining a happy world where everything worked out as best it could, so it's really cool to hear about someone doing that something I made!

before you read the next part just know that i LOVE hearing people's headcanons so feel free to disregard anything/everything i say here. death of the author and all that lol

imo he would have needed to never meet bunny for him to actually heal, and for her to not charge ahead on her path of destruction. even if he had gone to therapy and straightened himself up, bunny is so toxic she would have found exactly the right way to break him again (and honestly she would enjoy the added challenge). and couple's therapy would be SO BAD for him because she'd learn how manipulate and gaslight him even harder.

honestly I can't see a future for bunny where she DOESNT commit murder. she's a scorpion. it's simply her nature. it's not her fault we live in a society. perhaps she could have become a doctor and euthanized her patients discretely. i think she'd enjoy forensic science as well, but that would literally make her girl Dexter lol. maybe she could work for a three letter agency.

but yeah I absolutely agree that caleb would have LOVED to be in a 24/7 lifestyle BDSM relationship with a girl that did not want to grind him down to dust and scatter him on the wind. being a kinky freak with a loving partner would have fixed him 100%

[caffeinatedattorney]

Final thoughts! I'm going to talk about the aspects of the game bc I'm not thinking abt this anymore in a few days and I might as well since it's fresh in my mind. Also I didn't play it, I watched someone play it so I won't speak abt gameplay at all.

Harvey and Bruce are very much not okay. This batman is so angry and he's so desperate to save people. He's caught up in vengeance (defending Leslie and harvey) but clearly isn't sure what his modus operandi is just yet. That and he isn't seasoned so ppls deaths affect him and make him blame himself and hesitate. (when the inmate in black gate is pronounced dead.)

I was not expecting it to go hard on the trauma and abuse and how children act after said trauma, much less show it which was surprising! It is triggering but, depending how much you can handle, that makes it all the more engaging and heartbreaking.

I find it interesting how Bruce is the one prone to violence. He hits Harvey after Harvey says something from their fav show that triggers Bruce. I doubt ppl ever write Bruce being autistic but both Bruce and harvey come off to me as on the spectrum. With their fixation on justice, the fact they seem to be old enough to stop playing pretend but still do (though that could be just arrested development from trauma) and it seems to be their happy place as harvey is his loudest around Bruce and in the, what is it, rehabilitation center? Also they don't seem to have (m)any friends.

I remember this plot point from my own worst enemy and I like how it works here. I'm glad Leslie has a big role and connects everything together. (her telling Bruce off for making voices at her LMAO)

Harvey is more affected than Bruce is bc his trauma continues well into adulthood. He never left his fathers house, never stood up to him. I don't need him to articulate why but it feels so real and fitting and sad and I love it? It makes me feel things that he had a support system with Bruce and Leslie even if it seemingly wasn't enough.

I have a theory that the Rat King moniker is Harvey's self loathing coming to life and becoming his bigger-than-life mask. Bruce has the bat and harvey the rat. One soars through the skies and intimidates, the other burrows underground for safety and cohabitates to survive (and forms a cult)

Harvey's dissociation and the DID name drop ough. ("am I psychotic?!" ) I just felt bad. Dudes mental barriers are so high up he loses track of time (and probably feels like he's getting sucked underground). It hits hard that Bruce is one of the things that ground him despite the fear and disorientation. Wish we had seen Gilda tho. Unless they're meant to be separated?

And fuck, Harvey's voice. He's so meek and unsure the whole game. His little jokes ("this one was right outside my office. *pause* I'm fine by the way" ) . He gains strength when angry and when full of disdain (talking to matches) which is to be expected but goddamn that performance killed me. Leslie has to remind him to calm down ("be good" "be good" he repeats in an almost childish voice ) Too real. too good. He thinks of himself as weak until he's backed agaisnt the corner (when he was about to get shot he screams "Do it you coward!" )

Edit: I have this Hc of harvey putting a big front the way Bruce juggles batman and Bruce Wayne and the fact it's been validated makes me wanna go harder on it and harvey being autistic and the pressures and stress he must face. End edit.

Also interesting how they have Bruce and harvey call each other brother. Didn't want for it to come out too gay? I will say, it feels forced but I haven't sene anyone else mentioned bc its that inconsequential I guess.

I loved babs trying to help Bruce despite his attempts to push her away. ("I'm taking this crowbar" and he actually says "don't care!" ) also apparently when she leaves she turns a few times fuming and you can see it in detective mode lmao

Overall, better than I expected? I wasn't expecting harvey to be important at all. Hate the bait and switch and the fact it's a vr game bc I'll never get to try this lol. I'm glad they could expand on why Harvey and Bruce are how they are in the arkham universe.

[evelynlikesfrogs]

Signs everything I thought I knew was wrong

I needed to dump my thoughts and feelings somewhere because I feel like im annoying my support group. I think my egg finally cracked Wednesday and immediately I had to start researching and buying gender affirming things. Anyways, here's my list of signs that I wish I had seen like a decade ago, please be kind I'm very new to opening up like this

Another Girl in elementary threatened me with makeup and cross dressing and I wanted it bad.

I think this one is such a major factor in why I feel like this has to be real. Its well before puberty and well before I knew transitioning was a thing. Just a natural thought for someone who’s the wrong gender

Multiple times pleading with god to just make me a girl

Still cis tho obv

Thinking if I held still for long enough in bed, some sort of magic would make me a girl and fix this wrong body of mine

I still remember the dreams where im a girl, i legit became proficient at lucid dreaming just for it.

Ah fuck the egg_irl memes are hitting too hard

My favorite game character is Bridget, listening back to the song is hitting really hard actually

Legit had an anxiety attack and took a day off work because my transfem friend said “careful, i said the same thing before i came out”

Wishing i had magic to turn myself into a girl

Playing female characters just to feel cute

Putting on leggings in highschool, then sleeping in them

Some female mannerisms

Kinda hating my poor skin but couldnt do anything about it since thats only for women am i right fellas

Mild euphoria when someone says good girl

Envisioning myself as the girl during fantasies

Jealousy over a womans body

Ive never seen any man sit cross legged at a table the way i do, idk why that one pops up but i’ve seen plenty of other girls do it

Desire to steal womans clothing to cross dress

At current moment I have no desire to bite my nails because I want them to grow out, even though I was a nail biter for 27 years

In pre school, tried to convince another girl to swap clothes with me

In pre school, loved pretending i was at a hair salon and the other girls in the school would give me a haircut. It gave me ASMR

Speaking of ASMR, I like exclusively listen to makeup, nail and hair roleplays

Feeling like i dont want to transition because I could be ugly

After realization, I dont have nearly as much of an appetite, maybe subconscious bodily sabotage in the form of overeating

Not seeing any future when I tried to plan my life better, before I ever considered the option of becoming trans

Feeling hurt when my dad made somewhat transphobic comments about my trans cousin

Wondering what my parents would do if i woke up one day as a woman and had to explain that to them

Genuine euphoria at the idea of trying on womens clothing, but thinking that i was weird and kinky

Playing with stuffed animals with my best childhood friend, a fellow girl

Hating my balls

I bet it feels good to cry, its probably cathartic

Hating body hair god i hate this so much, I’m just bad at shaving it and dont want to be covered in razor burns and have to explain to coworkers why I shaved my legs and arms

Hating my nose

Adopting a super masculine persona

Forcing myself to have a much deeper voice to not feel any of my true feelings

Actually seeing a future after considering becoming trans

Being hurt by transphobic comments at work before I realized my egg status

Was I sending what they said to my friend because i was hurt by it and wanted reassurance?

When i started drawing again, i had no desire to draw “cool badass epic shit” i just wanted to draw super cosy watercolor paintings.

God damn it i’ll say it, I fucking love pastels. Both the art medium and the color spectrum

Repression of my desire to dance and sing, or I guess express myself in any format due to internalized transphobia

“Mens fashion is so lame, girls have it so good. Im cis tho”

Pure depression my entire adult life

Wanting genuine friend connections with women in a more feminine way

Never caring about going out and buying clothes because none of them worked for me

Trying to force myself to not look at girls clothes because “thats only what weirdos do”

On this topic, how the fuck did i think this shit was normal… i wasnt watching women or anything, its not like i was being creepy in reality. I just wanted to see the womens clothes. Why is that such a bad thing for someone to want

Being jealous of my friend since he was openly wearing his girlfriend’s sweatshirt

Dude i stared longingly at a pink gamer girl chair, still cis tho

Speaking of gamers, being super jealous of C9 Sneaky that he could pass so well and was totally fine with showing that whole side of himself online. Same with Finnster.

I think i hate my voice, ever since realizing this about myself i cant help but hear my voice and think its not me

Being afraid to see a therapist because im not sure honestly

Fearing crying, but that might not be internalized transphobia and actually just be a side product of the vice grip on masculinity in society

Daydreaming about becoming a girl

General body dysmorphia

I want to cry but i cant, why cant I cry why

[kcalsforhim]

˖⋆࿐໋ monday 2nd of december

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i woke up this morning by the sound of my mother coming back home.. i heard my sister and her boyfriend and my little nephew.. but i was tired so i stayed in bed some longer. then when i decided to get up i wore something tight so my sister would see how much weight i lost but... alas she was already gone. i saw my mom though, she was very happy to see me. i hugged her because to be honest i missed her so much...

i went downstairs and i grabbed some food and i brought it upstairs with me as usual. instead of eating it, i put it in my lunchbox. it was some leftovers from a while ago. i left it in the box while i hopped on the treadmil for 30 minuets. i got ready to bring the food to my friend and headed out. i ended up walking to the shopping centre and thats where he ate the food. he was grateful since it was the first meal of the day, and i needed the food gone.

afterwards we went to the store.. he got me 2 big bottles of pepsi, 2 limited edition soda's which i took pictures of to review, and an energy drink ill have tommorow and along side that also 4 macarons which i ate later for omad.

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soda 1 : cola coconut zero sugar jumbo thuismerk soda 2 : cola tompouce zero sugar jumbo thuismerk

ok so the coconut one ?? it was GODLY, unironically i would drink this on the regular. the coconut flavour is so nice and super good, even mark who has a terrible sense of smell, and thus barely tastes anything, enjoyed the taste of it. the tompouce however ?? i didnt like it. it just tasted purely like the sweetener and nothing more, it had no tompouche flavour to it lmfao... it was also the fizziest fizzy drink ive ever had ever.

anyways it was cold so we hung out at his place for a while, smoked cigarettes in his room, i warmed my feet by his fireplace and his mom said i was beautiful and stylish before i left. she also briefly said i should "prepare to eat dinner with them next time" so guys im cooked... then i went back home before the rain could get bad... then i had dinner !

cals : 506 / 500 max goal steps : 19.4 k / 10 k min weekday goal description :

a bit of chicken, i had some skin too because i really enjoy eating the chicken skin, i had a bit of potatoes, and i put some of the salad my mom made there too... then in a seperate bowl i had just a whole bowl of brussle sprouts my mom made for me and they had garlic ! it was so nice. and lastly 4 maracons... they were vanilla flavour, coconut flavour, rasberry and caramel flavour respectively <3

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my kinder chocolate calander thing had no thing in it... so i felt bad and i grabbed something sweet... i grabbed a bit of vanilla yogurt and i crushed one lotus cookie in it, but i instantly felt bad because a chocolate egg would be 30 free cals and this treat was closer to 100 cals... so i decided to go on the treadmil.

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i spent 1 hour and 30 mins on it ! making 2 hours total on it today... i walked on speed 5 untill my ankle started hurting so bad i could feel my ankle popping and i felt like i was going to fall off.. i burned 461 extra cals in this workout. and i ended up getting 19.4 k steps for my entire day. after this workout i felt heavenly, and i genuinely felt so much better after eating ? i definently think i want to make it a habit of walking maybe 1 hour after eating so i can burn off those nasty cals... i better if i want to get skinny... becides, ive never regretted a single workout in my whole life... its all about decipline right ? i feel amazing and i dont feel guilty about my treat !!! lets hope tommorow i actually get my chocolate treat tho sigh...

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this song is gorgous and its been stuck in my head allllll dayyyyyy loooooongggg. its so glorious and so just... skinny ??? i cant describe it

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[tlouconfidential]

Of course labeling people as "good" or "bad" all depends on perspective, I don't think I hate Abby lol I'd be pissed if someone killed my dad too. She wild as hell tho for tracking him down after all these years lol, but i guess ellie does beat her in that apartment 😭 it's giving "I am crazier!!!!" vibes.

Obviously Joel is no saint and eventually someone was gonna get real pissed with him, but i will say, if someone killed my dad to save their child, it would make me think twice. Abby tried reassuring her dad and saying "if it was me I'd want you to go through with the surgery" but i think it's easier for her to say that when she's not the one on the operating table. They knocked ellie's ass out so they could kill her, mind you she's a CHILD.

And yes, Joel was fuckin brutalll with killing all those fireflies in the hospital, but its not like he could've waltzed up to the OR and said "hey, let go of my kid and lets talk it out!!" I dont think the fireflies were leaving him much of a choice either....

They clearly knew who joel and ellie were in the tunnel, marlene saying "oh they didn't recognize you sorry for knocking you out" was such fuckin bullshit. Someone said there were journal entries from when joel and ellie first entered the tunnel, they've also been anticipating their arrival for months so i'm sure they knew who the fuck joel and ellie were.

I'm sure Abby was bitter over the death of friends too, but i don't think she cared as much about the fact that there couldn't be a cure anymore as she was about her dad being killed. I'm not excusing what joel and ellie did, i definitely think ellie did a lot more damage than abby did, but I don't think Abby is completely innocent either. I'm just irked at naughty dog for making ellie suffer so much and have her end up alone, couldn't they have cut her some slack like goddamn. Not to mention joel and tommy would never have been dumb enough to tell strangers their names, I don't care if they've been in jackson for 20 years I dont think those kinds of instincts leave you. Hell even on outbreak day when that family was asking for a ride joel already wanted to not help them. Yeah whatever i know they needed it to happen for the story to progress, yada yada. They could've done something a little different though idk. and yes, even if they did say fake names I'm sure abby would still already know who they were, who knows though it could've bought them a little bit more time before it all went to shit.

.

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

"You don't know my name, do you? Will you ever?"

Summery: beomgyu keeps his promises--he walks you from and sometimes to work, hangs out there with you. its all very comfortable and usual for the both of you. he even orders the same thing every time he comes in: your wonderful hot chocolate you make him. noting is new, its all been done before a thousand times between the two of you. why? you and Beomgyu have been friends for ever. that's great. You and him have also become a sort of... intertwined. more than just being together; youve grown together. also great. but what happens when you do something out of the ordinary? or rather, maybe the two of you stop keeping your promises and let the feelings youve pushed down so hard you feel like youre about to combust bubble up? also great.

a/n: long hair gyuuuuuu based on 'you don’t know my name'!!!!! its one of my favorite (if not my singular favorite) song by her. and besides... come on y'all, its beomgyu so I had to lol. yerin and I talked about this during he 300 subs special (even though SHE doesn't seem to remember it lmao) so here I am holding up my end of the deal and making my fic based on this song. if you liked it please leave some love such as commenting and or reblogging!

warnings/info: slow burn I guess, kissing, reader and Beomgyu go to a party, mentions of people fucking, Beomgyu gets in an extremely heated argument with a complete stranger at said party, I feel like I ranted a bit too much with the fic, a little poem-ish at times I think, reader and gyu are scared to go into uncharted territory with thier friendship, lots and lots and lots of talk of reader and beomgyu needing to control themselves around each other, cursing, beomgyu being sweet and them slow dancing cause that's a warning in itself, one joke about beomgyu and reader fucking? idk its not said explicitly tho this was way too self indulgent I apologize, friends to lovers, reader is gn.

~this is simply a piece of fiction. my imagination onto "paper." this is in now way meant to be taken as an actual or real representation of anyone~

••••••••••••••••••••••

A sharp, wind chime sounding ping makes you spring out of your thoughts to look at the door. Your smile. Huh right on the dot. Your eyes are met with the handsome fetures of your most frequent customer: beomgyu. Hair touching the nape of his neck and eyes bright as ever despite the mugginess outside. though its not all bad-- it makes him remember how one time last winter on your usual walk-from-your-work-with-him, he had stood behind you and wrapped you in his coat, bringing you flush with his clothed chest. it was oversized on him and noting, he thinks, could have prepared him for how you melted into him.

you noticed his wandering eyes and raise you voice to snap him out of it.

“why do you look like that?” you ask. it’s slow at work right now and you say that because you don’t want him to notice your heart pounding. You know if you don’t distract him he’ll do so. He pays enough attention and knows you all too well to hide it. “oh I dunno I just went for a run. No! It’s because it’s raining buckets out there!” “Yeah YOU running? That didn’t sound right” his mouth hangs open a little "um excuse you." he puffs his chest out. "I-I run." the way he's shaking his head while speaking gives him away if you already didn't know him so well. maybe a little too well. but, you tried not to think about that too much. how you

“I’ll have the hot chocolate” he says, although you know what would fall out of his lips just the Same as last time, and the time before that. And many roles before. You know how he likes it (extra sweet. “Just like you” he says. Before you squeeze you nose) but seriously you don’t think you’ve ever known someone who liked such a sugary thing. It nearly tasting like straight candy

“not many people order hot chocolate in the summer. You sure you want that?” “Yeah, it’s a comforting drink ya know.” Something he always used to drink as a kid. Before he met you. Before he didn’t have to watch what he said around someone like you because of half giddy and half eyes to the floor bashfulness he’ll feel if he slips up and gets a little too flirty. Says something a little too strong to you. Not that you’d mind. No, not at all. But he doesn’t need to know you feel that way.

"Yeah but with everything?" you ask, still making it but wondering anyways. He leans further in, putting his hands on the table. "How come you're just asking me this now? we've been doing this for such a long time and now is when it pops into your mind that it's weird to have it with breakfast, lunch, and dinner?" you roll your eyes at him. but really, you weren't annoyed at all. the truth was you awaited the never-the-same times he'd come in and order that same, warm and comforting drink. (it depend on his classes, and or what he had to do inbetween) It had gotten on the point where one of the other workers there would tap your shoulder and let you know that he was there when you didn't notice.

"your guy is here." one of the workers there would tell you. In a moment of weakness, beomgyu would pop into your mind and your eyes would go wide as you looked for him. "he's not my guy." you'd try and cover your tracks but with the knowing smile on your work friends face as they walked away, you knew it wasn't any use.

"we've been doing this forever." his words rung in your ears. he was right. you had been. you'd both been seeing each other so much and resisting the bubbling urge to kiss the shit out of each other. You'd been inching dangerously close to him, but never as close as you really wanted and craved, the warmth of his heart ghosting your skin... forever. he'd been avoiding your gaze-- the one that made him feel like all the four seasons were swirling up inside him and somehow all their wonder landing in you, seeping out in all the little things you did... forever. To be honestly, neither of you knew how long you could keep this up.

but here you are, thinking of and loving noting more than seeing his eyes fill with excitement as you hand him the mug. he cups it with both his hands even though it isn't cold inside so it wasn't like he needed to warm his hands. "You know, you should just keep your own mug here." you comment. he looks up at you, about to take a sip and obviously not very happy you interrupted his almost-bliss. though, in his mind, it wasn't that different-- no, it could not compare to the feeling he got around you. "Or maybe I should just bring one with me." he jokes, lips pursing to blow the steam off the surface of the delicious smelling drink. "Yeah," you nod, "and bring a plate while you're at it-- you know what," you lean on the counter in front of him, knuckles going under your chin and fingertips folded enough to touch the beginning of your palm. And he'd rather not look at you through the fog emanating from the porcelain mug so he puts it down, leaning in for dramatic effect. "Better yet, take it with you when you leave so I don't have to wash it!" you eyes go wide and you throw your hands up like you just had the best idea of the century-- better than sliced bread.

he puts a hand to his chest, leans back with his mouth hung wide open, and then gets up with his hands to his head pulling at his hair like he just had an epiphany. you laugh freely as he walks around in a circle. once he's back at the counter he slams his hands down on the edge of it and looks all serious. "You've got it, y/n! this is gonna make history!" he exclaims. You take a bow just for kicks and when you come back up his expression has suddenly changed. its gone much... softer, a smile is tugging at his lips and he can't help it but to let it free once he sees your smiling face again... smiling because of him, too. because of the joy you two make together. its unmatched, really. His fingertips feel flushed like his face, and aren't holding on so tightly to the cold metal edge of the counter. he's leaning in now, for what reason he doesn't really know. damn, he wants and fucking needs to be closer to you. he feels it in his core.

Then, he makes the mistake of looking into your eyes and in an instant you send him on a whirlwind. usually he distracts himself and looks at something else but he just couldn't bring himself to this time. He wants to set up an easel and capture your entire expression right here but your eyes... your eyes he's sure made his plan he's trying to stick to of not getting caught in your gaze. or, better yet, not getting caught gazing at you. but, for someone he knows so well and for so long, it wasn't easy. because, every time you speak, every time he looks at you, every time he even thinks of you, his mind starts to cloud with all the goodness he sees inside you. every inch of your mind he knows and all the other filled up spaced he wants to adventure into.

How could he stop his mind from getting tied up in the wonder of a human that was you? He sure couldn't, and nobody in their right mind would be able to. He snaps himself out of his thinking before you can think to do it yourself. Lord knows if you caught him spacing out at a time like this you'd give him one of your infamous smacks on the ears and he'd shriek so loud out of surprise people outside would hear him. "You're making me waste valuable time on drinking this." he chuckled, holding a finger up to you to signal: one minute, as he takes a few big gulps. he puts the cup down and leans back.

"one of your best, y/n." he complements.

you raise an eyebrow. "Oh? so there's a hierarchy and competition for best of y/ns hot chocolate now? if I would've known I would've made it look all cute." you said, getting back to work behind the counter. the place was pretty dead at the moment but there was still a few things needing tone done. "Come to think of it, I should deduct points for not putting a cinnamon heart on the surface." he wonders aloud. "Oh so just a heart would suffice? noting else?" you ask him. "well why not?" he nearly giggles, "Thought you loved me." You simply smile and roll your eyes at him, not really having the opurtunity to have any type of conversation like that here. although you wanted to. and it didn't really have to go the way you intended it. but if he-- or the both of you for that matter, were gonna go there, then you might as well and a full on sit down talk about it. again not that you didn't want to at all-- in fact, you'd thought about how it'd go down plenty more times then truly necessary. And what better place to have it in than where you two had met?

maybe it was just you making excuses for yourself; for putting it off just one more day. one more week. one more month. or basically one more eternity of longing stares and cut of sentences where, you wanna say more but ultimately fail to. the conversation now seemingly over, he shrugs and finishes his drink.

He stays and orders another extra extra sweet, practically caffeinated, slap you in the face to jolt you into operating at top speed crack drink that was his or your signature hot chocolate. this is a habit of his-- one he'd likely have to break soon if this floating feeling of his keeps up and un-in check. but a habit the both of you cherish-- where he comes in and stays until you have to leave. most of the time you don't even get to talk much. but the comfort that comes right along with your presence around each other makes up for it. thats another habit with the two of you: just being in the same room and doing different things. it was pure comfort just being around each other. maybe looking over and smiling at the other or striking up a conversation that could last a minute or the rest of time he was there or in other situations, the rest of time you'd were together-- however long you both wanted it, really. and it was never awkward, either. the silence never aching.

that's how it was when you first started walking back to your respective places after your shift. another habit of his, one you hope, along with the others, would never die. him staying for a while, talking a bit... or a lot with you, then walking together. usually it was him walking you home but others it'd just be whatever you two wanted that day. His hands are shoved in the pockets of his acid washed jeans when you look over at him.

"Did you grow or something?" you question.

"maybe you shrunk, hm?" he countered.

you narrowed your eyes at him. he turns to you and does the same. "Very adult of you." You scoff. "You started--" then, realizing that continuing to say was he was going to wasn't going to help his case in the slightest. It barely falls silent for a second before he, in a moment of either weakness or some extreme courage he doesnt know, he slows down a little, gently puts his hands onto your waist, finger finding place scrunched in your shirt, and stills you. though, with the rapid beating of your heart you didn't need any help to do so. He gently moves you to the inside of the sidewalk. he doesn't know why. it's kinda stupid really. he doesn't even have a reason expect that's how you two are usually walking. but it isn't ever really intentional. Usually he just gets out the door of the diner first and you follow soon after. but he liked it that way. it felt warm and comfortable.

he clears his throat. "So, you were saying?" you look back up at him, not too stunned to speak or anything just....thinking. time still in its frozen capsule like it was a moment ago with his hands on your waist. "I feel like you've grown." you say simply, verbally shrugging. he takes a look at his own arms as if that would give him an idea as to what you're talking about. "I know you haven't but," you sigh, unsure of where you're even going with this, "I dunno you seem different." the both of you are still facing forward, not having looked at each other since a minute ago. "Is that a good thing or a bed thing?" You smile. "good. definitely good." "that's good that it's good." he laughs.

"oh piss off!" You chuckle at him, shaking you head. a second later you don't hear his steps anymore and turn around to see him saying "gladly." and start to walk in the other direction. You yell at him to get his ass back here and he turns on his heel, trotting back to you with a smile on his face, eyes hidden by his hair as he looks down. "But yeah," you say once he's back to walking beside you, "You've defiantly grown. not in height, but how you are as a person now." he hums. "I guess I can see that. you have too, you know?" you quirk and eyebrow.

"like--" he takes a breath, "You've grown... not like you act completely different now, but you've just--" you get what he's trying to say. "Blossomed?" He nods, but before he can start talking again you're already opening your mouth. "So have you. Not like you weren't someone I wanted to spend a lot of time with when were first met but you've grown into this person who-who has so much depth to them. like sure, you look a little different and youve changed your hair countless times, but I think you've bloomed in a way. And I love that you have; that you've made yourself out to be who you are right now." he purses his lips together.

"hey, it's not all me, ya know? Ive only been able to grow the way you said I have because I've got you by my side. actually, no, more than that, I've got you coaching me and trying to help. And have you taken a look In the mirror? its not just me that's grown internally since we've both met. I feel like... You're more you know than you were before. or at least not as afraid to show who you are." "that's cause I have you cheering me on, beom." he smiles at the nickname, something you've had for him forever. just like how you've been learning each other inside and out forever. But he also smiles at himself. he was your personal hype man, as you'd say, wasn't he? "And im really proud of you for flourishing like you have." he says. "Im proud of us." you counter, "for both becoming more than we were before."

all that was missing was two glasses to toast. "Yeah, and we're achieving that together, too. we have been forever. and I know that's why its unfolding so beautifully-- it takes the two of us to pull something so great off like that." you try not to get all fluttery inside by the prospect of him thinking that you're "great." cause there isn't much to it, really. plain and simple. he thinks you're great... or the journey youve taken with him so far is great or whatever... it should stop there for you. but that's the thing: with him, it never does.

It kinda hits the both of you right in the face at that moment. and you realize all you need to know about how the other person feels the same way when your caught looking at each other and saying more or less the same thing of: "wow, I think our lives are intwined now and I love that."

as the minutes go on, you both talk about some of the ways youve seen this with each other-- growing internally as youve both said. You bring up something, then him, it goes on like this until you both have a realization. "...But seriously, though." you cause, "Im glad that we're like this." "Im happy we can be like this too. and to be honest, I don't just want to be a better person, I wanna be a better person with you." he quickly cocks his head to the side, almost like he was punctuating his sentence. "I was just about to say that! I like growing with you. it's amazing. and you make me want to be better. not in a competitive way though. I just wanna move along with life with you next to me."

He puts a hand to his chest, hopping it would distract him from how fast his heart was beating. It had the opposite affect, though, drawing his attention to it under his palm. "Im glad youve been in my life for so long." he says, wondering jut how far he was going to take all this confessing how wonderful it was to have you by his side. wouldn't this make more of an impact on he both of you than just making you smile? or was he making it more than it was? he probably was to be honest; friends tell each other how much they value each other all the time. just... probably the ones who's heart feels like its about to lift him up and fly him away to the moon, stay away from it.

"And I am glad we're in each others lives to often that we can brighten each others days whenever the other needs it." he nods in agreement, not trusting himself to talk more because he'll surely say all that he thinks of you... and us. the rest of the walk is spent back in the comfortable, fireplace like silence like the first couple minutes of it. Once you get to your front door and your back is turned, he draws in a breath. "It is wonderful to have you in my life, y/n. I don't think you can understand how great it is and how much I love it." you're about to swing open your door but you turn around to look in the eye. "Me too. I love how it feels to have you by my side." you really wish you had something more to say but it seems like its enough for him. cause a second later and he's nearly skipping away from your door. You shake you head at him and go inside.

He scratches the back of his neck, thinking entirely too much about what you had said to him. There was a thousand ways you could have meant hit but for some reason he only wanted to think of it as one. the one where you actually secretly wanted to kiss him every time you hugged goodbye. One where you'd invite him into your place for hot chocolate and he'd stay, and long, long while; only really going back to his home for clothes cause fuck, if he had you like that he wouldn't dream of letting you go or leaving you for as long as he could.

God, It was almost uncanny how, you knew what to call him, but his name? that was something else entirely it felt like now.HIs own name had come to be you. that was how much you were written on his heart; written like law on stone. so engraved in his mind that he felt like you were with him all his life... except with this it was more like someone who knew him his entire life but suddenly stoped paying attention for a very important mile marker, then suddenly started up paying attention again, completely glossing over something that was so important to him. Like his name: but now youve replaced it with your own an the wasn't mad about it. and you didn't know, did you? would you ever know his name?

and, in the middle of all his swirling like a hurricane that brought peace instead of distruction, he wondered if you were ever feeling the same thing. did you think of him the way he thought of you?

He knew everything about you, as did you, he, you thought as you slipped off your shoes at the door. But you figured that, since friends need to be honest as much as they can, that wasn't entirely true. cute there was this one, not so small thing youve never shared with him. something that was such a big part of you it might as well be your name. The way you felt when he was near, when you thought of him, fuck, even when someone mentioned him. at this point, him-- and feeling this was about him was such a bug thing that it had become a part of you. he had become a part of you. and just like a name it was something you wanted and needed to tell the whole world. including him.

but there was the problem, you couldn't just scream it out for everyone to hear. that's why youve been waiting. Even though it was takin g a long time for him to figure out that big giant part of you that thad become as second nature as a name. Beomgyu was smart, but apparently he was stupid when it came to this. but seriously, with all the slip ups youve been having recently, you're starting to wonder if he's deliberately not understanding you and your feelings. Like is he that dense or does he just not want you?

You shoot him a message none the less; telling him to text when he got home unless you'll start to worry.

===

The next time you talk was on the phone on your way to work. He likes to walk you there, too. but today just happened to be one of those days where it couldn't happen. But you missed his presence on the street that reminded you of the talk you had yesterday so the next best thing was to call him. "Hey, it's the server from the diner." You say. "yeah, I know." It was a throwback to when he'd given his number to the place so he could get a free delivery. Though he was hoping you'd pick up on it and call him. and you did. you were the one who had to call to let him know his order had arrived and was currently getting cold outside his door. you had ended the call with him apologizing profusely.

One thing lead to another and you made a follow up call on how the food tasted. you heard him smiling from the other end of the phone as he says, "great as always." You barely thought he would even pick up so you didn't know what to say after that. "especially the hot chocolate." he aded then. And now you're the one smiling uncontrollably. After a few minutes on the phone that day your heart is leaping with excitement. so the next time he comes in, you talk with each other more freely. and now you had his number so when he doesn't come in for a few days you remembered mustering up the courage to text him. "I really wanted to come over there. hot chocolate would probably help cure whatever I have." you felt stupid. duh of course he was just sick, why were you so worried?

within the hour, hot chocolate was delivered to his door free of cost.

and that's when the friendship began; with him texting you an entire paragraph just to say thanks for the gesture and you two talking back and forth, heart seemingly on the edge of its seat, about hot chocolate and hot drinks in general.

"You know... our manager is always telling us to use water," you repeat now what you said all that time ago, "But I always use milk and cream for you." He's snapped back to the present, with you on the other end of the phone, wind whipping in the mic. "aww you really do care, don't cha?" he laughs, smug smile gracing his lips.he can practically hear you roll your eyes from the other end of the phone. "your welcome." you drawled. "I sincerely thank you for your sacrifice of cream and milk." he said, and it sounds like a joke, but still he's smiling in gratitude none the less. youre about to joke about how he needs to repay you... somehow. but he beats you to it. though... with the way he starts off, it doesn't sound like fully a joke. but just enough of one where he knows you'll listen.

"And as a formal expression of my forever debt to you, I invite you to attend a party with me." You figured you'd play along, his tone not serious enough for you to spend the brain power to actually think of an answer. "yeah, sure, Beom." It was about as real to you as the both of you staying completely quiet during a movie so you played along. at least, you thought you were playing. beomgyu puts his speaker of his phone up to his mouth, nearly making your ears bleed as he yells into it: "no take backs!" then promptly hangs up.

you roll your eyes at him, a little concerned for future you and him but cracking up none the less. The surprised expression on your face when he comes by later to quote "take the both of you shopping for the party the next day." was so priceless he wished he had whipped out his phone quick enough. "I keep my promises." he reminds you as he sits down at his usual bar stool. And he sure does, like the one he's been keeping, weighing on his heart for so long he feels like its going to crack it n a million pieces impossible to pick up, about just how much he feels for you. he made that promise to you to stick by you as friends for as long as you'd have him there long enough to be forgotten. but now him. he remembers it like it was yesterday and he intends to keep his word, especially to you. who knows which way it would take you if he didn't. and the last thing he needs is for you two to be torn apart.

he slumps on the counter and gives you puppy dog eyes. you sigh "No one told me you were serious. that was coercion; I did not understand the phrasing of the question, therefore--" oh, you wanted court of law? he'd give you court of law. "uh uh" he wriggles his finger in your face. "was this under a false pretense? maybe. but did that initially give you the right to call back and or ask further questions? yes. so for that reason youre guilty!" he slams an imaginary gavel down on the white counter. you turn around to take a breath. he kicks his feat. "come on, y/n! I think it'll be fun. and if not then we'll leave right away and go to my place to watch tv. and we'll get a cute outfit out of it either way!" you think about it for a moment. "I need deodorant anyways!"

well it is important not to have a stench.....

he can tell youre thinking about it and he perks up at the sight of your wheels turning behind your eyes. it was one of this favorite things-- watching you think, weigh your options and all. It wasn't like you completely didn't want to go. there was a part of you, one that was soon going to get bigger youre sure. but a part of you right now none the less. so what was stopping you? you wanted to be close to him. you loved being close to him and that meant doing things together. but in an environment like this.... it might pose a problem to lips kept tightly shut and secrets you held behind your back.

You take one last look at him, and if it's a regular response between friends or in a slip up you don't know, but you agree. he nearly jumps up out of his seat in celebration. Why did he suggest this? who knows. was this a good idea? who. the fuck. knows. maybe because he wanted to do something with you. but it was probably something more than that it the back of his mind that made him call you and ask. but he knows full well what almost happened the last time you two went to a party together. a bunch of "aww youre so cute together!" made it seem all a little too real after a while and as the night went on with him eventually stopping himself from telling the truth to these people and him getting seemingly eaten from the inside when he stopped just reviling in the fantasy and remembered that no, youre not together. The night ended somehow with you two coming dangerously close to kissing.

maybe he really just wanted to spend time with you; a sort of do-over. he could control himself this time. or maybe that's what it was... he wanted to test the waters again-- challenge himself and see if he really could have self control. or maybe, just maybe, in the back of his mind he wanted to test the waters another way. maybe he wanted to know if it'd happen again. of course he wouldn't do anything about it; he wanted to keep his promise to you but something felt like it was knocking at the back of his mind.

once your shift is done, he's got a spring in his step as he opens the door for the both of you and bouncing on his heels with a smile on his face telling you to hurry up. and no, you don't just go shopping for deodorant... but instead spend two full hours shopping around. two full hours that consisted of trying on clothes and the both of you having to bite your tongues. because fucking hell, why'd he have to have such a good style? you perk up as he steps out the dressing room for the third time, already preparing yourself for you heart seemingly about to beat out of your chest. "what do you think?" "I think..." his face sinks.... "oh--" he pouts, "no no! it looks great! its just, its white."

he quirks and eyebrow at you. "I have eyes, ya know? I did pick it out." he reminds you, nose and mouth scrunching up in that classic Beomgyu disgusted face. "spillage." you simply say. his eyebrows got up into his hairline. "youre right." the next out fit he comes out with, a little more spillage proof, is what he decides on. he takes another look in the mirror, sighing. "you really think it looks good?" he questions. "I have eyes, ya know?" you echo him. he spins around into the dressing room, away from you as quickly as possible so you didn't have to see the smile on his face and the rosy tint to his cheeks.

When it comes to you and picking out your outfits, while youre walking ahead of him to the dressing rooms, he closes his eyes, leaning his head against the wall so he can think for a moment. or... more stop himself form thinking so much than anything. he knows what he's getting himself into. but How you reacted each time he'd first appear out the dressing rooms door with that wistful glassy look in your eyes, almost like you yourself were trying to stop your gears turning.... Times like that gave him hope that maybe yeah, you felt the same way about him as he did you. because just for a short moment he saw the same look in his eyes that they had on him now; trying so hard to stop thinking about you. you, you, you, you.

"I think a round of applause is in order!" you say.-- twenty minutes in. twenty minutes of him bouncing his leg. twenty minutes of you hiding the way his complements make you feel. twenty minutes of the second you shut the door behind you him screaming internally into his palms and twenty minutes of you doing the same. he smiles at you when you come out. "I know. we have good taste." his cheeks seem to be nearly kissing at his lashes as he smiles and he's driving you crazy. "We do, don't we?" you take another look in the mirror.

"You really think it's--" Youre starting to stress over if the outfit really is worth the buy. you like it a lot. but now youre starting to wonder if its a little too little here or too much there and-- "I have eyes, don't I?" he repeats, you turn around and lock eyes with him for just a second too long not to do anything to the both of your heart rates.

===

fast forward to the next night and youre swinging your door open to see him turned the other way. he spins around as soon as he hears the door. You press your lips together and he unconsciously mimics you. "you look really beautiful!" he beams. he's just being your personal hype man as always, and youre not afraid to say that you love it. "Aw you look really beautiful too."

the words slipped past both of your lips like water through fingers. though, unlike water, the words were thick, with feelings long left in the dark hiding behind them. "Oh? so just beautiful? not really--" You step out toward him, closing the door behind you, making you step just a little bit too close to him than usual. "really really beautiful." you clarified. and this time, he doesn't move his head. "thank you." he whispers, voice softer than his hair. and the both of you are unable to move from your doorstep-- frozen in time and space, with the only thing moving being your rapid heart beats and rising chests.

====

he looks at you beside him and can feel your gears turning inside your head, a sight he so badly wants to get lost in but knows he can't. realizing it'd be bad enough with the gorgeous outfit you were wearing and how he was sure at least someone was going to try and hit on you... he'd rather not start getting himself tangled with you now. but he can't seem to move his neck any other way than craned to his left to look at you.

its was just.... as much as he wants an needs to kiss you so badly.... your so Important to him, he thinks as he lags behind a bit, watching you walk ahead. and your friendship is so important to him that they never want to break it, even if that meant shutting his mouth and staying further away, cause in the end that's really what he wanted: to be and stay friends with you. the reason he stayed never has been and never will be just about what he felt for you. your friendship will always be the most important thing to him and heeds never want to jeopardize that and loose you. he'd rather your friendship stay strong than anything.

Your turn around, beckoning him to come closer. he skips to you, so happy you don't know what to do with yourself. "You know--" "no, I don't. I was hoping you'd tell me." you scoff. "I was going to say that im glad you invited me. Im ready to go be extroverts together now and experience all the bad smells and all the loud noises a party has to offer." he laughs, but he knows youre half serious. and he's fully serious when he says he's happy you came.

====

the noise thumps in your ears, nearing making them ring. the lights are dimmer than you thought needed but it-- along with noise and people constantly bumping into each other, sufficed in making the atmosphere very party-like. cause well, it was a party after all. He follows you, both trying to scout out where the kitchen was. you'd planned to stick together, tighter than you did last time, tighter than when the both of you were bombarded with people asking you about each other, and stick together you did.

even when you two went upstairs, trying to find the bathroom, and stumbled upon a couple people fucking and practically biting each others faces off in the room you thought was the bathroom. Beomgyu shuts the door immediately, any longer and you'd both be traumatized. "get your own room!" you hear from behind the heavy door." He looks at you and you back at him before bursting into laughter. "I mean, did you want to orrrr?" you phrase it as a joke, and though he thinks he hears something in the back of your tone, he only rolls his eyes at you. though his brows go up higher than youve ever seen.

The second he's done in the bathroom you lead in downstairs to where the music was the loudest. "I heard it too." he pants, "I was trying to hurry up." you really couldn't believe they were playing this here. it was almost too perfect, you thought. with his body so close to yours, dancing and enjoying the song you both liked. And suddenly, it didn't feel like you were in a crowded room. and for a moment all you could see, and feel, and smell, was him. him and his fingers now reaching for yours, spinning you around, laughing without a care in the world. like it didnt matter that your heart was about to beat out of your chest, making you float on the floor you were dancing on.

Everyone else-- the entire room was blurred. It was just you, and him. him, and you. just as it should be. this didn't happen all the time-- rather, you didn't let it happen all the time. but when it did... you swore youve never felt anything so natural. so--so right and beautiful. You smile and ease him into a dip, now youre both laughing. when he comes up, somehow both his hands ended up in yours and now he's pulled flush against your body. he feels like you both are taking up so much and too little space at the same time--like the whole floor is yours and yours only. he swallows thickly, neither of you making a move to step away. you know it sounds stupid but for a second you can feel as life your hearts are beating as one. and for a seance he feels like maybe this is really real. that it won't end any second and that he isn't having another day dream about slow dancing with you in one of your living rooms; all comfy and--

"I have to go get some water." you say so low that only he hears over the music. you really shouldnt let it goony further than this. at least not here. and as much as you wanted to keep ignoring everyone around you cause with him, were they even there in the first place? you knew you shouldn't, couldn't keep it up for much longer cause being this close to him only made you wanna kiss the shit out of him. "y-youre not--" you look at the next to no gap between you still, hands still closes around each others tightly. you blink to free yourself from the perfect daze youre caught in. the song was barely even slow enough to slow dance to. what you you doing? "moving? I know." and before he could even ask if you to stay longer, youre already pushing yourself off his chest and out of his grasp.

"You sure you don't want me to just go with you?" he nearly stumbles after you. "beom, its just for a second." You whip around to face him, arms crossed defensibly. "but a lot can happen in a second." yeah, I can see that, you say to yourself, thinking about just a moment before where dancing to a song you both liked turned quickly into something that was going to make you stumble. beom, the name echoed in his mind over and over until it flowed into his heart where all the other times youve laughed or called him by that nickname laid. "listen I know youre just trying to uphold our agreement, but seriously, im fine."

he knows he's probably being too worried for you, but he just can't. epically after you'd done that. with your hands clasping his against his chest. god, he never wanted it to end. little did he know neither did you. you did actually need water, being so close to him like that had a track record of making your throat go dry and fingers go numb. it also had a track record of making you get lost in his glazed over eyes. you find a cup and rinse in out before anything cause who knew where its been. a moment later youre about to refill your cup when you hear the unmistakable sound of Beomgyus shriek. followed by someone yelling at him.

oh god what did he get himself into now?

You run to where you last saw him and, finding him not there you rush to where you saw a few people gathered by the stairs. those people who were now making way for beomgyu flying down them. someone hot with anger and hot on his tale. Your brows furrowed as he zooms past you. "im sorry!" you hear him say, "I probably shouldn't have gotten involved but it looked like a pretty heated argument!" oh god? that was what this was about? "Yah!" the person yells behind him. "that's why you shouldve stayed out of it!" then and Beomgyu are both on opposite ends of the sofa, both waiting for the other to make a move. when the person inches right, beomgyu tips to the left. when beomgyu goes the other way, the person follows his movements.

two of the three people move off the sofa to get out the way. god, he really was fucked, wasn't he? you didn't know what to do, really. you left for five minutes and here he was getting screamed profanities at by some random person. You wanted to help, but as beomgyu brings up to the person how the person they were talking with looked hurt, and how they themself looked hurt as well, you leaned against the door frame and just watched.

it was another one of these situations, huh? they didn't look mad enough to really do much of a number on him anyways, and youd step in to stop them any minute now if beomgyu doesn't leave the argument first. And step in a minute later after beomgyu and the person going back and forth tore you apart from the inside out to one, see him so worried like this, and two, hearing them yell next to you with the loud ass music was starting to make your ears bleed you didn't need to do after all. Beomgyu was backing up with his hands in front of him defensively. it didn't feel like you needed to collect him or keep him out of trouble or anything cause he was intentionally trying to start a fight, but you could tell no one was going to get anywhere with this. or at least beomgyu wasn't going to get what he was looking for from the person. So you figured it best to tell it that you two should leave. you grab him by the shoulders and lead him out the door. you were kinda done with the party anyways, having been there quite enough time already.

"im sorry! I ruined our night, didn't I?" he begs. "but they were saying some pretty shitty things about someone and it looked like it was about to turn physical." he practically pleads with you as the night air nips at whatever wasn't covered on you. you stay silent the whole way back to you place. "What have I told you?" you tell more than ask sternly once he's plopped down on his sofa. he hands his head low. "Not to get in the middle of other peoples problems..." he echoes what you say every time something like this happens-- he thinks he can be be everyones knight In shinning armor, protecter and helper to all by getting himself involved. it usually doesn't have such... strong repercussions. most of the time its when he hers whispers of someone talking about their troubles with someone else and he tries to console them. which is fine on its own, but then comes the part where he's getting all caught up in it and he's getting hurt along with them.

and as much as you are shaking your head and rolling your eyes at the situation he got himself into... you purse your lips and try not to catch his eyes from across the sofa. you lean back. "But im not surprised. And it's not because you never learn or that youre stupid or anything, ok? so don't even go there. but that's just who you are, how youve always been since I met you-- caring so much for people, even people you don't know that you'll end up like this trying to help them sometimes. that's one of the things about you that haven't changed one bit since I've met you." he inches closer as if you hear you better, legs folded criss cross on the cushions and hands on his knees.

"don't make me out to be such a hero." he shakes his head. and this time you move a little closer. "Not saying you are just," you pause, knowing what you want to say but wondering if this really was the right time for it. It felt right in your bones and besides when were you going to get another chance like this one? when just a bit ago his hands fit perfectly in yours and you could feel his raging heartbeat under your palms? It was now or never, right? but really, you werent too sure you'd be able to stop yourself now. you might've been in too deep, but with him, never over your head. "just, youre the kindest person ive ever met. n' I just worry you'll get hurt more than youve already gotten in the past-- like youve gotten in the past when you get invested like this."

youre breathing all heavy for some reason, and he's getting that same glassy look in his eyes as earlier in the night. it reminds you of a sugar honey glaze on sweet fruit or a dessert and you can't help but stare int them. "glad to see you care." he shrugs. only his lips move thankfully just in your field of vision, eyes staying locked on yours. "I thought you knew I did. he's unconsciously leaning forward to you, his body following the magnetic pull that was you. though he's only following what seemed natural. "Thought you knew that I did?" you put your face in your palm, elbow balanced on your knee. "Yeah, but..." he trails off, the both of you now impossibly close.

and closer, and closer, and closer until your lips join in a searing kiss. you both sigh in relief into it, having waited so, so long. now your heart was really beating out of your chest, your fingertips no longer numb but boiling with feeling. his hands go from his knees to your hands, grasping them firmly, but gently just like you did to him at the party. he felt like he was floating, like he was suddenly sitting on a cloud and wasn't afraid of falling. god, he's wanted this for so long; for fucking ever. how could he stop now? you pull apart, and now youre thinking how in the world you felt out this long. ".... now the way I want you to." he continues, "not the way I do." you smile, leaning in again to kiss him. it was meant to be a quick peck, but instead it turned into you leaning your body into his and his hands on your arms, running up and down them, making you sink further into him and the seat in warmth.

Now, for a second time, you pull away. "Does that help answering how much I care?" he's smiling like a mad man at your words. "so I guess I didn't ruin our night?" he says, more to get his Brian working properly more than anything. "The opposite. I wanted to leave with you anyways." and now he's nearly jumping out of his seat to to do a little happy dance. he couldnt help it, though. especially when you were pulling him back in by his shirt balls dup in your fist and smashing your lips together.

when you pull apart though, instead of smiling in each others faces, the both of you shoot up. oh god... oh god! what did you just do? it wasn't suppose to go like this, he thinks as you rush to put your shoes on at the door. No words were exchanged between the two of you, though. except: "Hey... I--" "no no!" you say a little too loudly, "no, its fine. we don't ever need to speak of this again, sound good?" his lips form a line at your words. he shoots you a thumbs up. "...yeah." it wasn't what he wanted, that's of for user. but what other choice did he have? didn't look like you were ready for it to happen, so my default, now he wasn't either.

it wasn't like you two avoided each other at all costs in the week after the incident. no, not at all. you were friends above anything and everything, and such close friends that being like that to each other would've killed the both of you. and it wasnt like you were mad at each other... but now the silence on your walks together felt.... uncomfortable; unnatural and weird. like you needed to fill it with pointless talking to distract you from how there was this... air in the midst of you two-- like you knew what the other wanted, craved and needed but were too scared to do something about it.

that's why he knew he had to do something about it. so here he was, barging into the diner you worked past closing time. You quickly run to the door to unlock it for him. not like you were doing anything better anyways, watching the raindrops slide down one of the many windows as you wiped down each table. he was later than he usually was, but it looked like he was here for more than just to pick you up. the look in his eyes said it all. You turn around as soon as you pull the door open for him. "we're closed, Beom." the nickname slipped off your tongue so easily it was like you had forgotten the incident the week before, and how you promised yourself you'd back away even more than you had to keep it from happening again.

it wasn't like you didnt want it to. god was it the opposite. it was just... new, and scary. you knew that wasn't the best excuse but it was all you had. he was, in a way all you had. You didn't really know what moving along that road would mean. you knew it'd be good. but again, it was new and scary.

"I can't loose you." he pants behind you. for once he it was raining and for once he did run here. he spreads his arms wide, his long hair dripping on his shoulders. "And I can't-- I can't believe we let this come between us. and I don't want to let the wedge be driven any further." when you still don't respond, back still turned he gets more desperate, running a worried hand through his hair. "Come on, y/n! we're best friends!" you slam your towel down on the counter. "yeah, well maybe that's why this should've never fuckin happened." your words make the room go silent. you didn't yell it, you didnt exclaim it, you basically whispered it, but it boomed like a bomb going off none the less.

he was too important-- your relationship, whatever it may be, was too important to let go; you knew that. he knew that. he didnt say a word, realizing that he might say something to make the situation worse. he knew he was staying after hours, then again, it reminded him of how it would be between the two of you a week ago when you'd still talk the same. he'd come in, you'd make him the best hot chocolate he'd ever tasted next to his moms, and then he'd sit at the same bar stool and you'd talk for hours, barely making a move to actually go home. but eventually, after helping you with cleaning, he'd walk you home.

but for watts its worth, neither of you wanted to go back to those times, even after everything quite liking how the experience of the incident felt. You invite him to go to your place to talk it out some more. having the same idea, he agrees readily.

"I haven't been completely honest with you." you say, youve been talking for a little over a hour now, somehow slipping into how it was about a week ago along the way back to your place, and you don't think youve felt something so good-- so reliving, in a very long time. "I haven't been telling the whole truth either." no other words are uttered between the two of you, opting to lean ever so frustratingly and tantalizingly slow into each other,. his hand coming to rest on your thigh, folded underneath you at the knee on his sofa. you place your hand on top of his has your lips connect, a long awaited satisfied sigh is breathed into each others face, the air tickling you. youre rubbing circles on the back of his hand as his mind races. it was a kiss you poured all your feelings into. one where you spilled into it how you needed him with you so so so bad. how you wanted him beside you even more than he already was. how you were sorry it took you so long, and how you couldn't wait to keep being beside each other. you could feel him pour all that and more into his side of it and you reviled in the feeling, settling into it like it was second nature.

you blink a couple times when you pull apart, glad that you took your talk someplace else now. and well, I guess the both of you know now. youve now pulled out of the dark that beautiful little thing you two were hiding.

Now you both know just that one more, not so little thing you needed-- what was on each of your hearts the most.

~end~

Can’t believe never written a solely beomgyu fic before anyways as I’ve said if you liked it please comment and or reblog since tumble works on that system and liking it only bookmarks it for you :) I hope you enjoyed!!!

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[fishnchip3011]

thinkign about character conflict... rowan & seb getting into fights HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! rowan is totally the type of person to put things off for later where he's like "oh i have alot of time to do this don't worry about it!!!" then keeps putting it off until it becomes a Real Issue. sebastian is the type of person who Gets Shit Done Quick (very good with meeting deadlines esp due to his freelance programming job).

when seb is dissatisfied with something he's very blunt & to the point about it, whereas rowan is the type to think more with his right brain, react emotionally, then think about the issue later & regret the things he said/did n feel immense guilt over it. seb resorts to avoidance and doesn't think about something if he thinks it's going to make him feel shitty. basically rowan automatically takes things to heart rather than approaching smth level-headedly or logically which either leads to emotional outbursts or kicking himself Way more than he needs to. sebastian is very blunt without thinking what he says can hurt people (partially because he expects everyone to understand how he thinks even though he doesn't communicate properly 💀) and resorts to passive-aggression, vaguing, & avoidance. when it comes to sorting out messy feelings or talking things out he is Incredibly bad at confrontation HAHA

it's interesting how they contrast bc rowan is more emotionally aware/mature than seb is, but seb is more rational/pragmatic than rowan is. they're not perfect in those fields tho they r Suuuuper flawed LOL just more capable in one field than the other. they balance each other out tho <3 when rowan apologizes for smth he did he tends to be like a guilty puppy except he's a big dog so just picture like. a german shepherd hanging its head down low. and seb quietly goes like No... i'm sorry too. and all is well in the world. they're all smiley and somewhere out there abigail gags. hooray!!!!

[feathergail]

Hey, I was wondering if u had any tk headcanons just for Thomas (Maze Runner)? The fandom is so sparse, especially when it comes to tk content, we need to repopulate it!

thomas is literally my one of my favorite characters out of like All fictional media so yes i have a lot of hcs LOL (also btw this takes a few years after death cure so they're all Healed <3 and also newt is still alive bc i said so)

(under the cut bc i typed a lot LMAO)

lee - ok so its basically canon that thomas literally does not feel embarrassment so tickling him is a breeze - he doesn't seem to feel the need to fight back, because he doesn't really get flustered or the urge to hide - though he's Wiggly. he can't control how squirmy he is. and it's highkey funny (minho particularly likes this fact because his favorite hobby is messing with thomas) - i can't decide on what laugh he'd have tho!! i either think he'd have a more breathy and softer laugh, but on the other hand i can also see him as someone with a loud belly laugh. it honestly probably just depends on where you tickle him - speaking of spots, tho. his ribs are definitely so bad. he seems like he'd be real ticklish on his ribs. but otherwise he's not that ticklish, except for a few random spots like his palms and wrists, and his upper back and shoulders. maybe even neck - newt is constantly pinching thomas' ribs whenever he passes him just to make him jump and yell. he thinks it's Really funny - i said earlier but he does not fluster easily because he doesn't really get embarrassed. THOUGH, compliments can get to him. he's not used to people being all sweet n gentle with him, not after the years of horror the boys went through, so he's like HUH WHUH - thomas tries to hold the ler's hands to get them to stop but then he lets go when he realizes he misses the tickles. Dies - he sometimes ends up flustering the ler with how open he is about tickling LMAO - also just a lil prompt i've had for a while is that thomas often gets lost in his head after Everything that happened and most of the time he likes soft tickles to ground him back to reality. hes so :((

ler - i personally see him as ler leaning just because he's naturally just a nurturing person so he wants to always be making people happy and smile - he's incredibly gentle because he doesn't want to be rough and accidentally bring people back memories of the Fighting Days, he's just Super overprotective and wary of stuff like that. thomas is literally such a sweetheart - always checking in. ALWAYS. like to the point where the lee gets super embarrassed bc they basically have to keep admitting they like to be tickled 😭 - which again. he doesn't know they're embarrassed bc he doesn't really understand embarrassment.... oh thomas.... - even tho he's gentle, don't mistake him as nice. he can be really mean sometimes. - for example: his favorite thing to do is just barely graze his fingers over tickle spots (which tickles like hell btw) and pretend like he isn't doing anything, then pretends that he doesn't know that he's tickling the lee - he does a lot of the "innocent" acts because he thinks it's funny to see the lee try to get mad at him. but tbh its so hard to get mad at him because he has this fond smile on his face the whole time he tickles someone, and he often laughs with the lee too - he doesn't like to pin whoever he's tickling because he thinks its pretty cute to watch them squirm. he also wants the person to be able to escape whenever they want to - he's just a big softie tbh