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accidentally-in-fictional-love · 4 months ago

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🤔🕸️🎯 please these have all been so so good

I Don't Know How to Feel (But Someday I Might) - Random Bob Taylor Headcanons

Warnings: Mentions of a lot of canon events such as his suicide attempt, depression, self-esteem issues, and his kidnapping, as well as brief but nonspecific references to smut.

Notes: My first random~ I couldn't decide on which one(s) to do, so I just did all of them! As such, here's actual proper mini drabbles for 20 tropes, just for you and Bob 😊 The last time I wrote for him I just had a crush on him, now I love him, so I'm glad I get to explore all sides of him with this 😊 I ended up writing so much that I couldn't keep my bulleted list, so yeah here's a toooooon about the sweetest man who deserved the world and to heal QwQ

Angst: You're shocked when he finally tells you about his past. It's hard to get out, and he's mentally blocked out so much that he doesn't even remember half of it without help from newspaper clippings and taped recordings of that time, but still it all haunts him as he tries and fails to move on. He doesn't invite you over for the first few months you know each other, and when he finally does he seems very ashamed about his home and the state of it even though he cleaned up beforehand. You can still see the remains of the mazes he tried so desperately to scrub away so they wouldn't scare you off, and it doesn't as you ask but get no answer. Talking about it is hard even if he can't remember it all, and you have to do the work yourself after he trusts you with who he used to be. It's already been a year since his kidnapper was killed, and he was very wrongfully imprisoned, but knowing they were both gone is what makes him want to start healing even though he's afraid, and the day after you find out everything you can you just go to his house and hold him even as the mess already starts to build up again around the two of you.

Cute: Without the past weighing him down, you see that he's incredibly cute when he smiles, something he didn't do very often. There're a lot of cute things you never noticed before now that you're closer to him, such as the way he avoids your eye with a blush when you compliment him, how he treats everything he does with such care, how he links his pinky with your own when he's feeling affectionate but doesn't wanna be pushy. You tell him he's cute one night when you're laying in bed with him, your hand brushing aside his bangs, but he doesn't look appreciative of it as his small smile fades. He tells you not to tease him, he knows he's not, and you spend the rest of the night showing him how much you mean it. He tries to tell you how cute you are a few days later, his face red as he links your pinkies, and when you kiss the tip of his nose in thanks he looks utterly adorable as he blushes and tries to hide his small smile from you.

Dreams: He wants to leave town, but he's been trapped there for so long that he doesn't know how; he kept the house when his parents moved away, he never added anything for himself once they took everything, and he really wants to start over fresh with you. He confides all this to you as you sit on the floor together, watching movies on your laptop since he doesn't have a couch or a TV, and you just promise him all of it as you cradle his head in your lap and feel him hold your leg a little tighter.

Family: He hasn't spoken to his family in years, not after they moved away when they couldn't take being in town anymore, and they were more than okay with leaving him behind to fend for himself. It seems like they cared more about how the Incident had affected them more than it affected him, and he'd been alone for years until you finally became his neighbour and started talking to him. He still doesn't keep in contact with them, not knowing where they went or even if they were still alive, but he's okay with that now that you were his family. Sometimes you think about starting a proper family with him, but he still gets uncomfortable around kids who were his age when he was taken, but that's something you'll work through with him when the time comes.

Fear: It goes without saying, but even as he grew from a child into a man, the fear that they'd come back for him still persists. He sees them in everyone, his memories foggy and allowing them to exist in everyone, even you when you first move in. The house had been empty for ages, no one wanting to buy it with him living next door, not with his sneaking around and digging and fits in the middle of the night. He was the ghoul haunting the street, the monster scaring away all the guests and feeding the rumours even though he tried so hard to appear normal, all while he himself was afraid of the creatures lurking under his bed and waiting for him to slip up for one single second. So he avoided you when you started moving in, even though you were way too young to have taken him 20 years ago, because you were a stranger and you could be in on it, you could've found him for them. You didn't know until after he'd confessed everything to you, but when you were at work he'd broken into your home to make sure you weren't with them, risking it all for his own peace of mind, but after finding nothing to incriminate you it did help him sleep easier that night. It arose again when you noticed him watching you, him doing it enough times to get you to want to speak to him, and thoughts of ghouls and monsters crept through your head in your neighbours voices as he gave you a shaky hello and hurried back inside. You learned together that he was no monster and you were no Invisible Man when you invited him over to your place for a welcome party, everyone watching you as you offered him desserts and taste tested them for him when he was too afraid to risk it.

Fluff: Once he gets used to being touched, you discover that he's quite the cuddler. He finds such comfort in you that he ends up drawn to you without even realizing it, and you quickly get used to the feeling of him slotting against your back as you cook or do dishes, or against your side when you sit together and watch things. Sometimes it hits him that he's practically laying on you or stopping you from doing your tasks, and he closes himself off as he pulls away and apologizes for getting in your way, but you never fail to pull him right back and say you like his warmth. When you start spending the night together, you can tell he wants to hold you as you fall asleep but it feels like it's too much, so you offer him one of the stuffed animals he's gotten you just to get him used to the idea. You smile in your sleep when he eventually decides that it's you he wants to hold, and you let him envelope you on the nights where he's good, and when his fits crop up and he looks like he's in so much pain you just rest your head on his chest and hold his hand over your heart until he feels it beat even in his sleep. It lulls him every time, his breathing slowing and his body stilling as he wraps his arms around you and comes out of it naturally, awake just long enough to see you and know he was safe before falling asleep again.

Friends: Your friends don't like him, but you try to change that every single time you meet up. They've all heard the whispers, and his public arrest doesn't help, but you tell them about the real him, the one who's been healing with you there to help, but they don't believe it until after they see you together a few months into your relationship. He's different than before, healthier, stronger, more like himself again as he gives them all a polite greeting and sits close to you. You feel their stares the entire luncheon and you know he does too, but he doesn't run even when the arrest is brought up to your horror. He answers swiftly and gives no details, and the friend is chastised by everyone for asking, but he seems actually okay with it when before it would have been enough to make him shut down for the rest of the day. You can tell they see it more as time goes on and you remain together, their care for you extending to him when they see how happy he makes you in reality, that taking over their concern over the rumours. You know it'll still be a while before he sees them as his own friends, but it's a start when his next greeting is more genuine than forced as you all meet up for dinner.

Happiness: The word has been foreign to him for most of his life, his last remnants taken from him and numbed by the poison in his veins long ago, but you think he might be remembering how it feels when you glance at him one day and see him smiling even when he doesn't know you're looking. Usually he only does it to ease you, to make you feel better and show that he is indeed having fun with you, but you can see true happiness in him in the moments where he's facing away from you, when he's so content that the past can't get to him. You want to capture it forever but you know you can't, instead committing it all to memory as he watches the ducks eat bread by the waterside, the sky fill up with stars on cloudless nights, children play without a care in the world the way children should always be able to. You're always so busy watching him slowly reacquaint himself with the word that you don't even notice the moments where he's looking at you, when you're too busy to watch and lose yourself in something. That happiness is always the strongest, no amount of residual pain can sully it as he watches you jog over in the early morning for a kiss before work even in the rain, when you spot your favourite movie on the streaming platform you'd pulled up, it now added to the roster to your surprise, when you're so tired you can barely sit up until you're leaning on him and reaching for his blanket to warm your chilly shoulders. He doesn't think that before he met you he even knew the meaning of the word, but he might now as you catch him looking and blush under his gaze, and he blushes right back when you drop whatever it is you're doing to press a quick kiss to his cheek.

Hate: It takes you a long time to notice it, but while he doesn't hate much in his life, he definitely hates himself most of all. He shows it in the way he doesn't like looking at himself, or talking about himself even though he's trying to get better, but most of all you see it every time he looks at his bedroom door. Ever since you helped clean it up, the room remaining empty ever since the police confiscated everything inside, you've been trying to turn the room into something positive to help him forget everything he had to do to cope and solve his own mystery, but so far he's avoided every attempt with a new excuse. Finally he tells you he'd just rather board it off completely, let time take it like the rest of him, and you end up unable to say anything to placate him as he asks you to leave when you try and fail to help him. He lets himself fester after that, shutting you out for the longest time since you first met, and the next time he opens the door for you you can see that he'd regressed in your absence and his self-hatred. You don't leave as you help him paint over the mazes this time instead of just trying to wash them away, and he confesses to you that every time you bring up the room he remembers everything that he did, not what they did to him, all the wrong he convinced himself was right, how much he hurt those families even though he was just trying to help them. He hates himself so much for it, what they made him into, and he wouldn't be surprised if you hated him to for it too, but you can't, you never could, and you promise him that as you lock the room until he's ready.

Hopes: He's never hoped for much in his life, too stuck in his own head and his past and the mazes to dare hold onto something like that, but you find him saying the word more and more as time goes on. He hopes it's sunny today, he hopes they still have that sweater he saw the last time he went shopping and he hopes it's still on sale as well, he hopes he'll get to see you later. Before he used to use more neutral words, he guessed that rain was coming, it was rational that the sweaters sold out since he waited, he didn't blame you if you had something else to do later, you didn't have to come over. It showed you that he was trying, letting himself want to find the positives in things, instead of just accepting everything that happened as it was. You know for sure that he's changing when he cups your cheek and whispers that he hopes you'll still be there in the morning, your legs intertwined in bed, and you tell him you hope that he still wants you around a month from now before he says that he'll still want you a year from now, two even, and when you try and up it to three he kisses you and hopes for forever.

Hurt/Comfort: He still has bad days despite things getting so much better, and for a long time he hides that from you as he locks himself away and tries not to let himself fall back into old habits. It takes him months before you get a call on one of these days, and he takes so long to answer your hello that you wonder if maybe you're being prank called. Finally he replies, and his voice is small and broken as he tells you he's not okay, he can't do it anymore, and you race over the second the line goes dead. Since you're neighbours it takes only a minute to run to his door, your shoes forgotten at home as you use your spare key to get in, and when you find him curled up in the living room surrounded by the scattered pages of his mazes and memories you have to make sure there's no weapons around to go with it. He'd been on suicide watch after his arrest since he'd grabbed an officer's gun and attempted to shoot himself with it, but since the safety was on and he was too upset to notice they were able to stop him before he could figure it out. His fingers are covered in ink and his cheeks are wet with tears and streaks from where he'd touched his face, most of it around his eyes as he'd wiped at them. You instantly take him by the hand and lead him to your place, his head down as he avoids any gazes although there are none, and when you're back at home you sit him down at your kitchen table and clean him up. He doesn't tell you what set all this off, and you don't ask, you know he'll speak when he's ready. When he's all cleaned up you just take him to bed and play white noise on your laptop, something that will clear his mind until the overexertion puts him to sleep. Once he's out, you return back to his place to gather up all the papers and tuck them safely away, knowing that he won't be ready to finally get rid of them but not wanting him to see them when he gets home again. You find him reaching for you in his sleep, and when he wakes up and feels you in his arms it brings him so quickly to tears he knows that he can never do this alone again. After that he always tells you when it gets bad, and you're always there to comfort him as he mumbles every bad thought in his head until he's clear again.

Love: Neither of you ever say the word out loud, both too afraid to scare the other off with it, but you feel it in everything you do. You feel it in the home cooked meals you make for him, in the way he keeps picking things up for you that remind him of you while he's out shopping, in the way he trusts you enough with a spare key to his home as you give him your own right back. You hear people say it all the time on the street or at work or in the movies you watch together, and it's always on the tip of your tongue, but he hasn't been loved in a long time, he isn't even sure if he parents still loved him when he finally got home after those three weeks, not when they'd already buried and mourned their little boy. So you don't say it, keep it locked up inside your mouth as it claws and screams to get out and tell him when you wake up and find him looking like an angel beside you. You wish you could erase every bad thing that'd ever happened to him, he never deserved any of it, but you also don't even dare to dream about the version of him he could've been when he's already perfect the way he is. He was never broken, he never needed to be fixed, but you think he might've fixed you with the way he presses his lips so gently against your bare skin, looks at you with eyes that whisper how perfect he thinks you are, even when you tell him everything that happened in your own life that made you think you didn't deserve his kindness. You're helping him plant flowers in his yard to replace the memories of what he'd buried there before, the grass still dead from when it'd all been dug up and left to gather snow and rain and other painful memories as he stared out his window at it. You're covered in dirt, and already you've slipped and landed hard on your butt and gotten mud on your favourite pair of jeans, and you aren't even sure if you'd grabbed flowers or vegetables as you stare at the labelless packets in your hands, and the words tumble out of his mouth all the same as he crouches down next to you. You almost miss it at first, he'd said it right as you tore a packet open and hoped for the best, but he repeats it just as easily as you turn to face him and ask what he'd said, and your tears fall into the pits along with everything else to help the area heal as you can finally say it back.

Music/Dancing: He doesn't listen to music often, sometimes the tunes remind him of songs he'd heard while he was captured, so you're careful with your music when you're together, just in case. Eventually, he finds some new stuff that sound like songs he might've liked before the Incident, and when you make him up a playlist of old songs that might've been his favourites you get to see what happy nostalgia looks like on him as he lights up and remembers a time before the poison. He isn't much of a dancer, whenever you try to get him to join you he just gives you a nervous smile and shakes his head, but sometimes you manage to get him to slow dance with you, with your head against his shoulder and his hands on your waist, an adult version of all the school dances he missed out in his fear.

Platonic: He's only ever had platonic relationships in his life, they were far and few between but until he meets you he never even considered anything more. Platonic is safe, it's normal, it's polite. It keeps people at a distance he thinks, no invitations to give or accept since he isn't dating the other person, he sees no need to get that close. He views these friends as acquaintances, just barely above strangers, people he knows the names of but isn't sure if he can fully trust after a lifetime of being alone. He knows you might be the one when he feels differently about you compared to the others, when he wants to call you his partner and not just his friend, although he doesn't believe you'd ever want the same, not with him.

Romantic: Once he gets a grasp of relationships and being wanted, he surprises you by being quite the romantic. It's all based on what he sees others do, having no actual experience with it as he fought with his trauma, so at first it's a lot of roses and pet names and hand holding, which is very nice coming from him, but you also want him to be more himself when he tries instead of just trying to act normal. You secretly urge him to do so by showing him your own version of romance, which is different from what he's gathered from others, and one night he admits to you that he doesn't know what to do because you're so different when it comes to your dates and what you clearly do want. You just kiss his forehead and tell him to show his love in the ways that feel right to him next time, not to everyone else, and the next date night you find a bunch of handpicked daisies along with a new stuffed animal for your growing collection, because he saw both on his way to work and they reminded him of you.

Smut: It doesn't happen often, but sometimes when his head is clear enough to allow himself to feel desire, which he tends to avoid because he's still getting used to innocent physical touch with you, he'll go over to your place and initiate things slowly and carefully. Your patience is endless with him on these nights, and sometimes it doesn't even go anywhere if he gets too overwhelmed, other times it's over before it begins because he's not used to this and every touch is too much and not enough at the same time. When you finally do sleep together, you spend the whole time making sure he feels safe and okay, and in the end he cries as you press gentle kisses all over his face and torso as he holds you so tight against him like he'll never let you go.

Spicy: Likewise, things aren't often spicy between you, but once he does become more okay with his own desires and knowing he has permission to touch you, he'll sneak in some neck kisses and press himself up against you just to hear you laugh. More often than not he eventually gets used to casual makeouts when you're over for movie night, and while it doesn't get far you feel satisfied enough to know he trusts you enough to let it physically show, even if it does make him blush if you mention it at all.

Sweet: As your dates come more often and you get the official title of Partner, you find that he really loves visiting new places with you that he always wanted to go to but never has. Sometimes it's as simple as the flower shop he drove by or the park on a non-busy day, and sometimes it's further places like the beach or even the aquarium in the next town. Sometimes it's even places he should've gone when he was a kid but missed out on because he couldn't afford it or didn't feel safe enough to go to, not without one of his parents there with him, and you love the look of joy on his face as he gets to experience mini golf and water parks and a live show in the park for the first time. You can't leave his side as he does, he can take care of himself for sure, he's done so for years, but having you there keeps that small part of him that thinks he'll be taken again at bay despite being a grown man and easily able to stop anyone who tries. It's the one part of him that refuses to acknowledge his growth and who he was now, but you find that going out and staying with him helps him forget just enough that it eases up on its own, and you're happy to receive a small dolphin plushie from one of his aquarium visits without you because he loves the calmness and beauty of the place.

Random (Dreams): He often has nightmares, which you completely understand once he reveals everything to you, but you don't understand how bad it is until the first time you spent the night. It took him forever to actually want to fall asleep, a million excuses for the two of you to stay up ready on his lips each time you felt yourself get sleepy, and you only get a couple hours in before he jerks so hard next to you that it wakes you instantly back up. His fits are subtle, the kick a bad one that doesn't come again, but you can see on his face how much pain he's in as he shifts and rolls and clutches at your blankets. You don't wake up until you notice that he's crying, his eyes wide and pupils blown in the dark as he looks for his attacker and sees you leaning over him instead. He hit you only once, clearly in self-defense as he almost slid right off the bed, and you don't raise your voice or try and stop him as he switches to cowering instead when you don't disappear. You give him space and let him realize that the reason he wasn't home was because he was with you, letting him catch up to everything as you whispered softly that he was okay, he was safe, they were long gone, and even though you didn't get to fall asleep until dawn you were perfectly fine with that as you turned the lights back up and just laid with him until the felt okay enough to pass out with the rising sun.

Unlisted (Healing): It took him a long time to be able to let go of his old habits, but it gets easier with each visit you find when there's a bunch of new stuffed animals waiting to find homes, his old room cleared of the bins and therefore no longer needing them. You took the first one, and together you dropped off the rest at a local shelter for the kids to pick through, and the next time you see one on his table you find out that it's for him, something he had as a child and wanted to have again now that he knew you'd support that. It takes even longer for the mazes to stop, but together you find that if he draws them on your skin and traces the way out it helps. The association with you and your softness and gentle words makes them less painful, comforting even since they're not stuffed into endless notebooks and covering his walls, and when he's done you let him wash it all away and kiss the places where they used to be, no more maze, he can go home. You find out that home slowly becomes anywhere he's with you as he holds your drying arm to his cheek and looks content instead of afraid.

#Ray's Headcanons #Ray's Requests #david dastmalchian #Bob Taylor #Bob Taylor x reader #was looking for a song to finish these out too since most of them were done in silence at work #put on What Was I Made For and my god I was so choked up that final hour I love him so much I need him to be happy and okay

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enhanced-operatives-division · 8 months ago

Text

Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one #i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking #and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped #i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format #anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head #idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope #im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT #ieytd #john juniper #reginald crane #junicrane #starstruck #i expect you to die #<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that #the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH #also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two #make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL #GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga #thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry

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