#I need Eva to defend her man’s too

[callsign-dexter]

Night Ride Rescue

Request: hey

I was wondering if you could please write a Maverick x daughter reader where she is out riding her bike a little later at night and she notices this car following her. She starts to get freaked out and petaled faster to see if it would leave but it didn’t. Maybe it turns into they get out of the car and try to chase her (your choice) so she runs into the first place she can find and it happens to be the hard deck. Possibly penny sees her and with penny being friends (not in a relationship but just good friends, maybe penny is still married to Amelia’s dad?) with Mav she goes over to see what is wrong, after she calls and demands maverick come down and fast. He does and he sees his daughter upset so he comforts her she tells him what happened and he is just so protective and loving and he just makes her feel so safe.

maybe the reader is like 8

maybe the second movie

thank you so much and it is completely your choice

Pairings: Maverick x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of cheating (not on reader)

Maverick trusted his daughter whole heartedly, he knew she would do the right thing even though she was only 8-years-old. Of course he cared about her safety but knew she knew how to defend herself thanks to him and everyone else teaching her self-defense. Everyone lived in close proximity to each other so she knew she could run to anyone when she needed help or call anyone when she was home alone and her dad was out for few.

When Y/N asked if she could go see her friend, Emma Floyd who was Bob's little sister who he got custody of, he said yes and let her ride her bike over.

"Hey, Dad?" She asked walking downstairs to where her dad sat at the kitchen table working on some stuff for work.

"Yes, Darling?" He asked looking up to see his look alike coming towards him.

"I was wondering if I could go over to Emma's. I have some homework I need help with." She said and he thought about it and nodded his head.

"That is fine with me, Darling." He said "Be safe and be sure to call if you don't feel safe or need to come pick you up." He finished off and she nodded her head.

"You got it, Dad. Thank you so much." She said bounding over and hugging him tightly around the neck. She truly did love her dad with all of her heart and would never disobey him.

She arrived and set her bike down and walked to the front door and knocked. Bob was the one to open the door and greet the girl.

"Hey, Y/N/N. You here to see Emma?" He asked her and she nodded her head.

"Yes sir." She said being polite even though she knew this man and loved him like an uncle. Also her daddy taught her to be polite to anyone she met even if she already knew them.

"Y/N we talked about this you don't have to call me sir." Bob said as he let her into his house.

"I'm sorry Bob. Force of habit." She said taking her backpack of and smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Oh I know kid." Bob said and hugged her and then called Emma down and the two girls embraced each other and then they scurried off upstairs. Bob texted Maverick.

Bob: Y/N is here.

Maverick: Thank you for letting me know.

Bob: Anytime sir.

She stayed over there for a few hours and they laughed, gossiped. and helped each other with some homework. "Did you see what Nathan posted on Instagram?" Y/N asked Emma.

"Oh yea. I saw. Do you think Eva knows that he is cheating on her?" Emma asked her friend.

"If she does then she's not acknowledging it. Did you expect anything less from him? After all he is the most popular kid and the star football player." Y/N asked

"Absolutely not. He's just a player. You know he tried to hit on me the other day." Emma said while looking up from her homework.

"What?! No! Why didn't you tell me?" You asked her gasping in shock.

"I meant to but we were at practice and then it just slipped my mind." Emma said looking up.

"He tried to hit on me too and kiss me." Y/N said and Emma gasped.

"No way! When was this?!" Emma asked

"The same day you got hit on." She said

"Damn. He really is a player." Emma said and Y/N nodded her head.

It was getting late and she wanted to be home, even though it was Friday night she loved being with her dad. As she was getting ready to leave Bob had stopped her.

"I can drive you home." Bob told her and she shook her head.

"Thank you but I'm ok. I like riding my bike. It helps me clear my head and I like the fresh air." You told him and chuckled.

"You are so like your dad." He said with a chuckle as she stood her bike up. "If you have any trouble call any of us or ride to The Hard Deck." Bob said and she nodded.

"You got it Bob." She said and hugged him. "Have a good night and I'll see you later." She said as she got on her bike.

"You have a good night as well." He said and watched her ride off until she was out of sight and then walked back into the house. Bob texted Maverick

Bob: Your daughter has just left my house and is on her way home. She refused to let him drive her, claimed that she liked riding her bike. Said it helps her clear her head and that she likes the fresh air.

Maverick: Damn she really is my daughter.

Bob: That she is.

As Y/N was riding back to her home she noticed that a car was following her and was making every turn she was making. At first she thought it was just a coincidence but when they started to speed up is when she got scared so she started to pedal faster. She was 30 minutes away from her house but was only 2 minutes away. So she set her course for the well known bar and her a person she considered her aunt, her Aunt Penny.

She heard them stop and thought she was in the clear when she heard the door shut. She looked back and saw a fairly large built man get out and started chasing her. She was 30 seconds out from The Hard Deck. She started yelling at her. Once she got in the proximity of the well known bar she ditched her bike on the front deck and ran in she looked panicked and then Penny saw her and the look on her face. Penny told the bartender she would be right back and walked to the youngest Mitchell. "Honey, what's wrong?" She asked but Y/N was looking behind her and tears started to form "Y/N. What happened?" She asked again and led her to the back office, she dropped her backpack onto the couch and sat down.

"Someone was following me when I was leaving Emma's. Then then when I was 30 seconds out from here they got out of the car and started to chase me. This was the closest place." Y/N started to cry and hung her head and she hugged the little girl. "I want dad." She said and Penny nodded.

"You stay here and I'll go call him." Penny said and Y/N nodded her head. Penny walked outside and dialed Maverick's number he answered on the first ring.

"Penny?" Maverick answered confused

"Pete you need to get down to The Hard Deck now." Penny said in a stern voice.

"What? Why?" Maverick asked really confused

"Y/N is here. She said that someone was following her on her way home and this was the closest place. She wants you. We're in the office when you get here. I'm sure the cameras picked up the men, car, and license plate." Penny told him and Maverick could've sworn his heart dropped.

"I'll be there in a minute." Maverick said and they hung up.

Penny walked back in and into the office. "Y/N/N?" She asked and she looked up.

"Is dad on his way?" She asked and Penny nodded. Fresh tears rolled down her face. True to his word Maverick strolled into the office to find his daughter crying and Penny trying to comfort her.

"Y/N?" Maverick asked and she looked up and saw him she got up and practically tackled him to ground but he stood still. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. She buried her head into his chest and cried. He looked up at Penny. "Thank you so much." He said and she nodded her head.

"Anything for a friend. You know I love her. I'm gonna leave you both alone. Take as much time as you need." She said and Maverick thanked her as she walked out and shut the door. Maverick's attention turned back to his daughter.

"Darling tell me what happened." He said and pulling away from her and they sat down on the couch and she looked him in the eye and told him everything.

"I should've taken Bob's offer and let him drive me home. I was riding home and then I noticed a car following me, I thought nothing of it then they started to speed up. They were making every turn I made. They stopped and I thought I was in the clear but then one dude got out and started to yell at me and chase me. This was the closest place so I came here. I left my bike on the front deck. I was so scared dad." She finished and hung her head. Maverick was mad but not at her. He gently lifted her chin.

"You did the right thing. You're not in trouble, I promise. I'll always rescue you no matter what." Maverick said and brought her into a hug which she returned gladly. "Are you ready to go home?" He asked and she nodded her head into his chest and he smiled and placed a kiss on her head.

Father and daughter got up from the couch and Maverick grabbed her backpack and they were off too his truck. They walked out of the front door and they grabbed her bike. When they got to the truck they put it in the bed, Maverick put her backpack in the backseat while she got in. Maverick got in and started the truck and they were headed home. When they got home they got ready for bed and Maverick let her sleep in his bed. He cuddled his daughter like he would lose her if she was out of his sight and she almost was and that scared him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later Penny called Maverick back and said that police caught the men. This wasn't the first time they tried to kidnap a little girl and they had been successful twice. Thanks to The Hard Deck's camera being so good and Penny's husband being persistent on getting the good quality ones. Maverick was relived and now his daughter to could ride safely again. When he told his daughter she let out a sob and hugged her father, and he returned that hug and kissed her head. He is going to protect his daughter at all costs.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@callsign-revenge

[scarfacemarston]

same thing of how ppl are so cringy about Arthur being a soft bany who picks flowers and journals and someone fucking says his rough personality is an act? THE FUCK YOU MEAN IT'S AN ACT, HE'S AN FUCKING KILLER 😭 Not only that, you can pick flowers as John in rdr1 and rdr2 too i fucking don't get them lmao there is literally a side mission in rdr1 to pick flowers for some dude

plus, they always praise Arthur for being an gentleman or something but ignores how John is so too. Him literally saving a barn for a woman, being so loyal and devoted to his wife, in an mission in rdr undead nightmare he comforted a woman who had a bad panic attack (hugging her, giving her a chair and shit), defended Eva in rdr1 as well. He always tried to help and did, people ignore this shit. Even good things he does, Arthur gets the credit for everything.

Arthur fans are exhausting most of the times, i'm sorry.

ALL of the gang members are killers and thieves. That's one of the points that the game tries to show us. That's why it's shocking when someone as hilarious and down to Earth as Sean jokes around with someone one second and then brutally murders them the next. It's why Hosea is dangerous, too. That's why there are questions about redemption to begin with. The rough personality is not an act. Why would Hosea and Dutch both call him a brute so often? Why would they repeatedly ask him to slow down or act like a gentleman -something Grimshaw also encourages. That's all three parental figures. If Arthur was perfectly soft and gentle, he wouldn't need these reminders from his 'parents'. That's why it's charming when Arthur IS soft because it's two sides to the same coin. It's complexity and hidden depths and that's beautiful! That's what I like to see in characters! Arthur is the enforcer of the gang for a reason. He's somewhat the boogie man because of how intimidating he is and how he is NOT afraid to rough people up. Was it an act to rough up Mr. Downes? Was it an act to rough up any of the people Strauss sends him after? If Arthur didn't have any problems, why would he need redemption? Arthur himself admits that he had some issues and that he actively wants to change. Again, that's the point of the game. Same with John, if he was perfect, there would be no need for redemption there either. As for the flowers, yes. John even says, "Come here, you little beauty" or something similar to that. Yes,you're totally right about picking flowers for someone's wife being a mission. John is such a gentleman in rdr 1, that Bonnie thinks it's an act because she's not used to men being so genteel, especially a man like John Marston. She says it adds to his mystery. Both men are gentlemen. I'm not sure why that's hard for people to see.

I love Arthur, I do, but I agree that some of his fans make it hard not to feels sour towards Arthur. (Who did nothing wrong.)

[moonlightazriel]

Son of the Darkness XIII /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: Hidden for so long The court of shadows thrived, and things were great until the high lord's death, now the next in line should assume the crown of high lord of shadows, will he accept his duties?

Warnings: Mentions of death and lots of blood

Word Count: 1,5K

Notes: I think this nice journey is almost coming to and end, and I really want to thank you all for being there with me!

Son of the darkness masterlist

Main Masterlist

Nesta took Eva’s advice really seriously, and she had been training hard to learn how to conjure and control her powers, Amren and Evanore helped her with all the knowledge both had about the cauldron and its powers. She was reading one of the books they found on the topic when Amren burst through the door, she was panting with a desperate gaze focused on Rhysand.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, everyone, getting ready to jump into action.

“Hybern soldiers surround Adriata, Varian told me so we can protect ourselves.” The tension in the room could be cut with a knife.

“We need to go and help, are the armies ready to go?” He asked Cassian who shook his head.

“I could get some ready, but we need to be fast.” While Rhys and Cassian planned, the rest was already getting ready for the battle, the Illyrian leathers Feyre had got for Y/N and Evanore fit them perfectly, Eva prepared her bow and Y/N got her weapons ready.

“I can winnow them and then go back to winnow the rest of the inner circle.” Rhys ran a hand through his hair, breathing frustrated.

“This won’t be fast enough.” Eva protested, standing in the doorway. “I can take Cass and teleport the troops while those who can winnow, take those who can’t, we will be there in no time.” Rhysand nodded and Eva took Cassian’s hand, teleporting them to the Illyrian camps.

In five minutes they were winnowing to the Summer Court. The sun and the smell of salt were the first things that filled Y/N’s senses, the beautiful city was chaotic, people ran around in panic, screams pierced the air, and the clear buildings were smudged with blood. They had appeared in a giant castle, where the guards tried to defend, fighting with the soldiers, a tall black male was in the middle, fighting against two soldiers, his head turned to their direction, and relief washed over his features as he recognized Rhysand’s inner circle.

“The Illyrians are on their way.” Feyre told him and the man nodded, finishing the two soldiers he was fighting with. The rest of them spread in different directions, fighting the soldiers they found along the way.

“Someone needs to go and defend the city.” Y/N said, looking at the bloodbath happening as people ran around. Morrigan ran to her side, grabbing her hand and winnowing them to the middle of the soldiers.

The two females went in opposite directions, helping those who couldn’t fight, killing the soldiers, again and again until their muscles burned. It didn't take much time for the skies to be filled with soldiers, descending upon Hybern’s soldiers, metal clashing against metal as they killed people.

Evanore appeared in the middle of the city, where she saw Y/N fighting alongside the Summer Court’s troops, her bow in her hands, aiming precisely for the enemy’s heads, the whistle of the arrow was loud amongst the screams, and they always found their way in between the eyes, where the helmets didn’t protect them.

The Hybern’s soldiers kept coming, it was like when they killed one, two more had already popped up in its place, Y/N kept cutting through them and taking their lives with her magic, the river of shadows around her deadly to those who dared to get too close.

But after one hour into the battle, her muscles burned and her magic started to fail, she focused on keeping her breathing even, and as the air filled her lungs, she felt her strength renewed as more soldiers appeared, her ears caught the sound from somewhere in her right, Evanore scream pierced the air, the sound too familiar to ignore.

Y/N turned in the direction of the sound, ready to run when she felt the sharp pain in her chest, two inches to the left and the sword would’ve pierced her heart, she choked on the blood that pooled in the back of her throat, the smell of ash filled her senses, their weapons covered in the substance.

She needed to get to Eva, but the blood kept flowing out of the wound, making it hard to focus, the buzz in her ears made her confused in which direction she should take, someone grabbed her braid, slamming her head on the wall, the blood ran warm in her face, and her head throbbed in pain.

Y/N grabbed the sword tighter, feeling her hands start to fail, and swung it up, cutting the hand that was still holding her, ready to smash her head again, the soldier screamed and she threw her head back, slamming it against the soldier, who stumbled backward, giving her space to conjure her magic and take his life away from him. Everything faded to black.

“They have ash on their weapons!” Cassian yelled from the skies, the Illyrians nodded in agreement, continuing to focus on the battle that still seemed far away from an end, shadows on the street caught his attention and he looked to where Y/N was fighting, she had a sword pierced on her chest and blood coming from a wound in her head as well, she killed the soldier before she passed out.

His wings flapped faster, taking him to where she was laying, the ash in her blood made him feel dizzy as he carried her to where he saw Evanore heading, he ran with her in his arms until he reached Tarquin’s castle.

“WE NEED HELP.” He screamed, Azriel was fighting there, his head turned in Cassian’s direction and he couldn’t breathe, Y/N’s body was hanging from Cassian’s arms, she was covered in blood and he felt his knees go weak as he could feel the bond in his chest start to get weak. His blood boiled and his power trembled with the thirst for revenge, he dropped his weapons, throwing his head back as he felt his body changing on its own.

Everybody stopped as they watched Azriel disappear in the shadows, huge feathered wings poked from the darkness, claws that scratched the marble floor, and a long tail, the darkness dissipated and a giant black griffon was standing there, the animal looked at Y/N one more time before he screamed, a pained scream as he walked outside.

His powerful wings carried him to the skies, he never felt so free, this form felt infinitely like he owned the world. He was so big that he almost covered all the sunlight as he flew, the Hybern soldiers looked at him, aiming their bows and foolishly trying to land an arrow on him, he held to the weak bond between them as he got down, claws cutting through the soldiers, his beak crushed bones as he bit into them, and his shadows moved inside him, begging to be released.

He allowed them to run freely around the world, where they touched, only bones and metal were left behind, as the toxic smoke corroded flesh and muscles, he smirked, all the suffering in the world still didn’t seem enough as he kept seeing her blood-covered body. He kept releasing his wrath upon Hybern’s soldiers, they tried to hide, but when he couldn’t get them, his shadows would.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“I’m going to remove the sword and you’re going to press the wound down okay?” Eva instructed Cassian, he was the one helping as the others were too busy looking at Azriel’s High Lord form.

“We need to stitch her up and wait for the ash to dissipate so she can start to heal.” He said and Eva looked at him, grabbing the handle of the sword, pulling it out, blood started to pour and he pressed it down.

“Dear Cassian..” She kneeled, putting his hands upon the wound, nodding that he could remove his hands, as her own started to glow. “Ash is just another element in nature, and my magic was gifted by it.” A black liquid started to pour from the wound instead of blood, the smell of ash almost made him faint. Y/N gasped for air as she opened her eyes, sitting straight, the wound on her forehead and in her chest starting to close. They helped her get up, and walk outside, where Azriel kept destroying soldiers, until nothing but a pile of bodies was left behind him.

“What the fuck is that?” She asked, eying the creature, the thing turned its head in her direction, and it flew to her, its claws made a funny noise as he approached her, the big hazel eyes told her everything she needed to know. Azriel approached until his feathered head was touching her chest, and he took a deep breath before he transformed back to normal.

He pulled her close, hugging her, feeling his heart go back to normal. “I thought I had lost you.” He whispered, resting his forehead against hers, she reached for his lips, closing the gap, it tasted like blood and mint but she couldn’t care less, his hands pressed her closer to his chest while he kissed her back, their lips fitting perfectly together, she hissed as she felt her healing wound throb in pain.

“I think we should head home and prepare for the meeting.” Feyre said and Tarquin nodded, Azriel held her hand tightly, and he was still holding it as they winnowed home.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Taglist: @allison-rosewood-maximoff @devilsfoodcake22 @fieldofdaisiies @valeridarkness @brekkershadowsinger @margssstuff

[quackle]

What is your first impression of each members of the reboot cast?

gonna base my first thoughts off the first ep greetings. initial thoughts under cut:

millie: idgaf she was real for coming on this show just to study why people her age act the way they do. i didn't think she'd win, but i loved her automatically. she seemed very relatable based off her initial motive (and i was right!)

axel: "oh she's going to be a challenge dominator!" i screamed, not knowing just how wrong i was </3 i started off thinking she was a combo of eva and shawn aha. i thought she'd make it mid merge

priya: "oh she's going to be a challenge dominator!" i screamed, not knowing just how correct i was <3 IMMEDIATELY loved her. the way her voice actress in english captures her personality from the start is brilliant ugh priya ily!!!

zee: AWESOME GUY. love a down to earth, mellow dude, so i was happy seeing zee. i figured he'd be a much needed comic relief

ripper: "oh he looks silly and his green sweater is great- wait what do you mean he has criminally convicted for pooping in a stranger's purse on a bus-" -me (i was concerned about this guy, and i did not know just how much that concern would grow as the eps went on)

damien: this dude stepped foot on that island and his first words on that dock were, "aye what's up man, i'm here for that million bucks, where it at?" like sir the competition ain't even start yet whatttt 😭 first character to make me crack tf up, ugh i knew i'd love him and i still do! another example of a voice actor perfectly embodying their character from the very start.

lauren (scary girl): SILLY GAG CHARACTER. i smiled so wide when she appeared. i knew she wouldn't win but i thought she was neat. much needed comic relief, kind of like zee

bowie: "OK PROM KING AND QUEEN, LET'S GET TO THAT FINALE 🤩" i screamed, not knowing just how right i was <3 i knew he was gonna bring something interesting to this game from his intro and i was right!

chase: "i haven't seen your ex on the screen yet, but just know i'm not on your side. i know how your brand of streamers acts... probably a gaslighter..." -me (i knew i wasn't gonna vibe with him much from the get go)

emma: "CUTIE PATOOTIE, I'M ON YOUR SIDE QUEEN" -me (i knew i was gonna vibe with her and defend her with my whole entire life from the get go)

mk: "let's get this enby thief to that final three!" i shouted, not knowing how wrong i was </3 i was so intrigued by her lol. she seemed cool and collected in a way, and i thought she was gonna sneak her way up the ranks throughout this competition. and... well, she was close! (not really)

caleb: "ok justin 2.0" was all i could say about him during his intro. like they ain't really give us nothing back then </3 sorry caleb, you really were basic

wayne and raj: "oh neat some silly ass jocks, i hope i never grow to hate them," i said, not knowing just how much i'd adore them <3 from their silly laughs to the way they made fun of ripper, they were awesome to me. i initially thought they'd be antagonistic in a way

nichelle: "YAS BIG DEAL QUEEN, LET'S WIN THIS THING," i yelled, not knowing just how much she'd fail at this game </3 she did that lil hair flip and said that cocky lil "mkay" to priya's fangirling and my brain went "yeah. that's the fav there." thought she was gonna be antagonistic too

julia: "oh ok so this girl is fake af," i said, somehow knowing how right i was because look at her and that fake personality shine through them brand commercials! i cackled at her mass amount of phones she had + how disappointed chris sounded when he scanned her for the phone she tried to hide 😭

[carmenized-onions]

First of all, happy (late) birthday! Wishing you health, wealth, and many more years 🎂

Second of all, I cried lol

I loved how you jumped between the aftermath of what happened on Friday and seeing the development of Chip’s relationship with everyone at The Beef. It’s giving Season 3, Ep 1 vibes with all the flashbacks and that was my favorite episode of the season, so yay ✨

It was sooo cool to see how you used the original scene where Mikey shows Tina the picture that Carmy sends him from Copenhagen and seeing how Chip would fit in that moment AND the confrontation between Carmy and David

“I just-I just made the-The only fuckin’ good thing in my life leave…” P A I N

Also, Carmen not being able to confidently say that he wouldn’t have taken the bait of giving the Exec Chip’s number…oof

You know what? Chip is 10000% correct about the whole Christmas dinner shitshow, like why didn’t anyone defend Mikey? Everyone kept telling him not to throw the fork, not to engage, but Lee started it! I think the only person who told Lee to shut the fuck up was Uncle Jimmy but it was a half-hearted effort at best

Seeing the moment when Mikey calls her Chip, after learning about the weight of being nicknamed Jack…and then the line “He will never realize that you consider the exchange equal”…yeah my heart can’t take this

WAIT, Chip started doing research on wine pairings to impress Syd?! oh this makes them growing apart for a few years even more painful...it should’ve been them all along bro like who tf is Carmen? Don’t know him.

I appreciate the “that’s what she said” joke thrown in there 🫶🏼

“‘I’m not gonna forget you love me, Chip.’ and neither of you know this is a lie, yet.” and now I’m sad again

The entire exchange between Carmy and Richie was so heartbreaking, especially when Richie hits him with “if that’s what your love is, I don’t want it and I don’t want it for Chip, either” like DAMN

“…he might as well tear his hair out because there’s no reason for it anymore if you’re not in it.” oh my guy is going THROUGH IT

The freezer scene with Mikey…yeah that was rough. Like I never really thought about just how bad Mikey got. Obviously, bad enough to the point of taking his own life, but I never pictured the moments leading up to that. The pain of withdrawals, the feelings of shame that come with relapsing. The emotional toll that it takes on everyone who loves the person that is struggling with addiction, really going through the highs and the lows with them. And the parallels between the brothers, too! Carmy and Mikey having some of the lowest moments in their lives play out in the same freezer with Chip and Richie being there for both 💔 AND the foreshadowing of the door handle breaking off one day because of how hard Mikey was pulling on it…you’re a genius fr

“Do I look like a fucking milf, what the fuck is going on —“ Not Uncle Jimmy thinking they were having a kid lol

“I don’t want to choose between her and my career. If that’s what getting a star takes, I don’t want it.” okay I think we’ve been focusing on the wrong love interest for Chip. I see the vision now, and Carmy’s not in it

The scene with Eva was so cute and then I get hit with “You’re gonna break your neck Mike. I don’t want to plan your funeral.” EVIL

“You will not realize he is trying to make things clean and square, until it is too late.” “You think Mikey has a future, still. Mikey knows he doesn’t.” Both of these stabbed me in the chest and I haven’t recovered, just fyi

Mikey wanting, needing Chip to promise him that she’ll talk to Carmy when he comes back because he knows she’s good for his soul…😔 (wait I think you said to remind you about Mikey and fire a few chapters back when I said he was playing matchmaker? I’m seated)

I love that despite still being upset with Carmen for being a dick to Chip, Richie and Syd decide to help him help himself because he’s CLEARLY in desperate need of an intervention

“He’s gonna be your man, and he’s going to fucking earn that title. He’s going to prove it.” When I tell you I’m EXCITED. Rooting for him ✨

okay being completely honest, the last portion of this chapter was really moving. It was so fucking sad to read their last phone call. But what actually made me cry was “He said he would come home and you believed him because he never lied to you before.” She set his things on a tray because he said he would come home. She fell asleep on the couch, waiting up for him because he said he would come home. Yeah. That totally didn’t break me just a little 🥲

This really has been your best chapter so far, 10/10 💜

Thank you for the birthday wishes! Sorry for the crying! But also maybe you’re welcome? Also I’m begging everyone to read this ask/answer because this is like. My director’s commentary of this chapter and i want you to play the fucking dvd extras that is this series. please.

I had Mikey’s scenes planned for so long, and I was planning on putting them all like, back to back with each other, travelling through time. And then S3EP01 came out and i was like oohhhh i could be a little spicy?? I could be a little timey wimey weird? Had a lot of fun that way. 

S3 really gifted me with those two scenes to work with, because I HAD planned something similar with Mikey and Chip to the Tina and Mikey scene, but the way they did it in the show was SO much better i had to yoink it. AND they let me know exactly how Carmen would react one on one with fucking david so that’s. Ah. the timing was genuinely insane of S3 coming out pretty soon after Just Dropped, ,,, in s y n c

I shant say anything about the number because as the end of the chapter puts it, they told each other everything I wrote down. So Chips gonna have some…… thoughts about all that. 

Chip’s whole dialogue about the Christmas Dinner was my own therapy. I was getting so fucking hyphy watching that scene. I dunno man. I’ve always stuck up for MY older brother when he gets thrown shit. WHY THE FUCK WAS IT ON MIKEY TO CALM DOWN?? HE’S NOT BEING ALL THAT UNREASONABLE?? BEAT HIS (uncle lee’s) ASS!!!!!!!!!! 

The big like, through line I took from Mikey’s character is that he feels as though he is made to give to other people, and so when Chip is the one giving back to HIM he’s like. Oh I guess I’m not the giver here. I’m simply taking. And that’s how relationships work. Someone always has to lose. And simply never realizes that there can be relationships where the burden is fucking shared. 

…berzatto men share a lot of the same brain chemicals. 

Everyone go scroll and look for the ‘who folded’ poll to vote for syd (or whoever). I think you only have a couple hours left. Or go to the #sillylittlepoll tag. GO VOTE!! It’s really quite cute though. It’s referenced in Doing Too Much that they played a game of matching wines to her plates, but it was never confirmed until now that Chip literally deliberately started doing that just for Syd. 

I need somewhere to rant so much about Richie in this chapter, like. Am I gonna do it here? I think I’m gonna do it here. This is the director’s commentary part. EVERYONE LISTEN TO ME !!! EVERYONE SHUT UP!!

This whole chapter was so fun to write, because each scene is very weirdly mirrored and sewn together with each other, and that very much also coincides with Richie being in BOTH sequences. Let’s just go scene for scene. 

What are you amish? To 0ERR. This one is very simple, the line ends with In your life/Out of his life. Simple. Cute. Whatever. There’s also the aspect that Mikey/Richie very deliberately interrupt Chip’s mental fatigue and then no one talks to Carmen and let’s him spiral… Interesting. 

Then there’s 0ERR to fixing the coffee machine. Carmen says he can do it all by himself, that he’s good by himself. And he tries to think of Chip but she’s not here and it’s not working. And then we go to coffee. Where Chip admits that she’s not good by herself and she hasn’t been for a while, and she needs The Beef. And then she spirals and Mikey is there. And he is able to calm her down. Without even asking if she was freaking. 

Then coffee to handing off the dessert. Again, Carmen reminisces about his old life, he didn’t know any of his coworkers because they didn’t matter. He knows the faces of everyone here but doesn’t actually know them. Very much so unlike Chip. 

Dessert to Fixing the Chair. This one’s not a big flip, but—

Fixing the Chair to the DAVID TALK is huge. Because it’s very clear, Chip used to be a lot more guarded and insecure. She still is. But worse then. And it was thanks to her Guiding Light Mikey. And he supported her, and believed in her. Believed in his brother too, but he never said it. And then with David, David says Carmen is excellent but it’s with such vitriol. Carmen doesn’t get the support, and the praise he does get doesn’t feel good. Because there’s really only a few people he actually wants it from. 

You’re Needed Asshole to You’re Needed, Cousin. Not much to say more there. Just fun. 

But then. There’s Narcan to I would be so lucky. Richie saw all that shit. Richie saw how much of a fucking mom friend and overly prepared Chip always is. OF COURSE he’d be so lucky to have her because he IS so lucky to have her. She’s a LITERAL LIFESAVER. And to see fucking CARMEN? MAKE HER FEEL LIKE IT WAS HER FAULT??? OHHHHHHFHHFHF. …. I should’ve made him throw fucking punches i’m mad all over again. 

24 Hours Sober to Fighting in the Window, not much to say there. Their contrasts of talking one on one is enough, howeevverrr

This is where I have so much to say about Rich. Because his ‘stop being you’ means so much to me. BECAUSE he’s saying it with so much sincere love. Like he really is. Because you can see in the NEXT SCENE, with the withdrawals, he WATCHED his best friend have to very literally stop being him, and TRY to grow. Fucking RICHIE had to stop being him, he had to become the guy, he had to stage, he had to start wearing suits. He had to fucking GROW! And Richie KNOWS how fucked Carmen’s brain is. And that this kid is torturing himself in his head. The best solution for Carmen, to Richie? He needs to stop being him. 

Which is why he was so fucking pokey with ‘have you done the work?’ because Mikey had to, Richie had to, even Chip had to do work. He doesn’t see that work in Carmen! He gives up on himself because he doesn’t think he’s worth the work and it PISSES RICHIE THE FUCK OFF!!

There’s also the aspect that Richie literally screams back at Mikey while he’s going through it in the freezer, and Chip has to tell him to not be mean. But Chip’s not there in Carmen’s moments anymore! So no ones there to pull him back!

The deal scene vs the bear flickering scene isn’t much besides the burn the money, but I do love that Sydney asks ‘can you stay after close?’ and that being the exact same thing Carmen said to David. The difference is Carmen actually did stay to hear the critique. Proud of him. 

I’ll leave it there, because this is so much to process. But thank you for giving me a place to yap about all that. 

Anyways, back to the things YOU wrote because there’s still much to discuss. The freezer scene with Mikey was one I had set up since the beginning, and it really was so crushing in execution. There’s so much love in it, with all three of them being there— And it really just makes the introduction scene from chapter one so much more painful because it felt so familiar to both of them, just without their original Bear.

“I don’t want to choose between her and my career. If that’s what getting a star takes, I don’t want it.” okay I think we’ve been focusing on the wrong love interest for Chip. I see the vision now, and Carmy’s not in it

My master plannnn,,,, i’ve pulled you all in,,,,

The scene with Eva was so cute and then I get hit with “You’re gonna break your neck Mike. I don’t want to plan your funeral.” EVIL “You will not realize he is trying to make things clean and square, until it is too late.” “You think Mikey has a future, still. Mikey knows he doesn’t.” Both of these stabbed me in the chest and I haven’t recovered, just fyi

Yeah i was fucked up for these i have to quote them back to you because i did get a little crazy. A little wild. 

MIKEY KNEWWWW, original CarmTony shipper before they even met frfr. Which, speaking of, as promised, the Mikey Fire thing. ALRIGHT. 

So in Just Dropped, as I said before, there were SO many different routes I was considering, but one of them that I didn’t mention before was that the oven that Chip fixed, once Carmen dropped the ‘you failed Mikey’-- Was going to full flame up. Like that one scene where Carm tried to light a cig and it almost lit his fucking hair on fire? That. 

I ditched this idea, inevitably, because it just felt too much like me fully going ‘yeah ghosts are fucking real’. And I wanted it to be more a choice for the reader whether or not they want to see that as a thing. So instead, there was the expo clock buzzing out for no reason— And if you choose to believe it, it might be Mikey trying to both scare Carmen out of fucking tweaking (painful back massage) and get Carmen to get Chip back out of the parking lot to fix it. Alas, it doesn’t work. But he tried. He also (if you choose to believe it) made the Bear’s logo buzz out. A design you technically helped make. That was just petty older brother shit. I like to think it coincided with Chip at home and the picture frame falling off her wall. 

I like this because it adds context to other random breaks. The toilet spraying water in Tony’s face when she started to think she was nothing, Carmen’s oven breaking when Syd was on the verge of losing it. I like to think the Guy is still the guy. Even dead. 

I’M GLAD THE LAST SCENE WAS MOVING!! The phone call was also one of those scenes that had a lot of different routes, and I’m glad I went with a lot more of a very simple almost sweet and like,,, pedestrian phone call? Like a normal day, almost. And it just makes the rest so much worse because YEAH SHE EXPECTED HIM TO COME OVER. HELL .

Thank you for your review, and thank you so much for reading it and thank you so much for reading THIS god i just spent like an hour yapping. If anyone read this please send me your thoughts on this director’s cut alone honestly just so i know someone read it and i am not yapping into the void THANK YOU LOVE YOU KISSES HOPE THE NEXT ONE IS ALSO GOOD HOPEFULLY

[limetameta]

when i saw that why women kill was a story made by the same person who made desperate housewives i was like, huh, let me see where this goes. and i was delighted at moments, horrified at some, and otherwise entertained.

did not feel like desperate housewives to me. felt like something trying to be more. than that show. which fair enough look at all of these years and decades which have passed.

the closest timeline that felt like desperate housewives and the one i was most invested in was beth ann's timeline in the 60s. the 80s timeline felt like some cheap gabrielle solis marries a gay guy 80s fic i was reading and they were very cute together, but i did not find that end any less offensive than if they had outright had aids kill him. wow, 80s, wow, gay guys, wow it's better to have your wife mercy kill you than to throw you out. it was not a story that fit with the narrative of the 2019 and 60s timelines. karl was a good character, but ultimately i can't help but think that his end felt forced and that STILL in media gay men's deaths and existence is used as a pitying tool. rubbed me the wrong way, and you can camouflage it with so many snappy comebacks and edie britt like charm all you want, i didn't have a fun time with this one.

going into s2 of why women kill was interesting for me because the first thing i noticed when i went into the why women kill tag on tumblr was a lot of people's disappointment with it. that it didn't keep with the 3 timeline frame, that it didn't feel true to the show. which, if you were expecting the continuation of those 3 timelines, if you wanted the same character mold with different names and colours - yes, then that's way too different.

but if you want to watch why women kill - then this falls right in with its purview. we follow alma and we focus on her now because we actually get growth and the descent, and all of the consequences of her actions. you don't have your focus split from her by following two more timelines - or whatever it was they tried to do with the 2019 timeline. good idea, but man it was really boring. just like eva needed more proactivity in eli's script, so, too, did the 2019 characters. they're more reactionary. you can even see it in that sequence where all three timelines meld - taylor is on the reactionary side, she's not the one surging forward and doing things, she's defending and reacting to the situation at hand.

but, back to me praising why women kill s2. and i say this with full honesty: i am heavily being influenced by my love of desperate housewives when i say that this s2 felt more true to DH than s1. I love Alma. Truly feels like one of the characters in Wisteria Lane come to life. Whether this is a good thing for the show itself or not, at least she's entertaining to follow along. At least there's a clear arc. Just like with Beth Ann. That's why I call these the two strongest characters of the series so far.

anyway, these are my thoughts. i don't expect anyone else to agree nor disagree.

season 2? banging. i love it. all of these characters are so awful they're the best.

hoping s3 will be completely different from s1 and s2 and that they'll keep it going, keeping us all on our toes. i would hate for them to come back to the 3 timeline plot device just because it worked in s1, unless they have a story they want to tell in such a device - but just because people are complaining about s2 would be sad.

[mariahjade2]

WIP Wednesday: Place holder Hurt Vector

Bright sunlight reflected diamond patterns on the walkway from the nearby towers of Courscant’s skyline.   It was a late spring day,  and the air was warm and humid, hinting at the rain to come.   From his vantage point across the way in an outdoor café, a blond haired man watched about 15 or more journalists and holographers gathering in preparation for the large ornate doors of the Galactic Court of Justice building  to open.  

Inside the building,  the door to the court room currently being used for the latest trial was discreetly opened in preparation for the outflow of people when the verdict came.   The high ceiling of the room transmitted echo’s of multiple conversations as they bounced off the light grey stone and wood paneled walls.  

At the front of the room,  the defendant’s counsel looked down at his notes as if considering what he would do next depending on the verdict.   Lawyer and client stood when the first Justice entered  to hand out the judgment of the court.   The murmuring of the crowd petered off into silence as anticipation rose in the grand room.   No one there seemed surprised when the verdict came back guilty and the woman on trial slumped momentarily,  but then straightened her shoulders in defiance, holding on to a fierce pride and bitterness.  

The crowd resumed talking once the gavel sounded and the sentence was passed, getting louder while they gathered their things and pushed against each other to leave.  The object of their attention already dismissed in their minds,  as if that  one life was no longer worth thinking about.    To one observer though,  things were not so simple.  How was she to feel about an old friendship when she had just helped to destroy that same person?  

Eva Svikari was guilty without a doubt,  but that did not stop the memory of what she once was,  or perhaps she never really was what Mara wanted or thought her to be.   And that was the bitter truth.   She represented everything that Mara used to be or what she would have turned into were it not for one fateful day over Endor.    She walked out of the courtroom and into the harsh sunlight of Coruscant’s day and was immediately barraged with questions from holoreporters who surrounded and blocked her path of escape.

“How do you feel about the sentence?”  

“Would you like to tell our viewers what it was like working for the Emperor with Eva Svikari?”

“What does it feel like to be a hypocrite?” yelled one particularly nasty man from one of those sensationalist  channels. “Did you like being in the Emperor’s harem?”  “Why should your testimony condemn her but you get off Hutt free?”

Mara wanted to wipe that smug, irritating smirk off of his face,  and she had the weapons to do it too.  Her eyes narrowed and her hand instinctively covered her concealed vibroblade hidden in her tunic.   He was too stupid to notice the gesture and she laid a cold stare on him.

“Were you his private whore?”  

Mara almost snapped right then and there,  but just then the sound of a sleek newer model speeder pulling up made everyone jump back including her harasser.  The vehicle stopped and the passenger door opened up towards her.  She couldn’t see the driver in the darkness of the interior,  but Mara didn’t need to see to know who  her rescuer was.

“Get in,”  a very familiar voice said and she complied.  

  The speeder took off and Mara sat in silence as the man piloted them away from the main traffic lanes towards her home.    She half expected him to offer her comfort and was surprised that he remained silent, letting her get her emotions under control, but then he always did read her well, or maybe he was just afraid to say anything.   Yes, that was it.  He did want to, but it was just there holding  back at the edge of his mind.   Well she would let him off the hook.  

“Look Skywalker I’m fine, so you can stop looking pained and like you want to rush in and solve all the problems of the universe.”  

He risked a glance at her while he drove.   “Funny, you didn’t look fine, in fact I could have sworn you were about to use some questionable  remedies on that reporter.”

“Violence doesn’t solve all problems that’s true, just a lot of them  and I’m not a Jedi.”  

Luke’s brow furrowed and she could feel the frustration leak out of him.   “Mara…”

“Oh lighten up, you know I wasn’t going to do anything.”    Though truthfully she wasn’t totally sure herself.  It had been a long stressful couple of months but finally all the trials were over.    He sighed and stayed silent for the rest of the ride home, which was just fine as far as Mara was concerned.  She wasn’t sure if she could deal with his instinctive need to do something.   This wasn’t something the Jedi master could wave his hand and fix.  Blessedly they arrived at her complex and she moved to get out of the speeder but before she could, he grasped her forearm.

“Mara, look I can…” He paused obviously re-thinking what he was going to say,  but she noticed he didn’t let go of her arm.  “Just call me if you need anything okay.”  The face he was making was so Skywalker she almost smiled.  He released her arm giving it a slight encouraging squeeze.   It was a good thing her shields were up.  Before she could regret what she was about to do, she opened the speeder door.

She turned to look at him before she left, “Karrde is throwing me a little post-ordeal shindig tonight.  I won’t throw you out if you show up, though I won’t vouch for any other guests depending on how drunk they are.”

Without pausing to see his reaction she walked away towards her building entrance.  She could feel his eyes on her evaluating.   She only turned back to observe Luke’s speeder when she heard him pulling away.  Mara kept her eyes on it until it disappeared into the traffic.  Sighing, she headed inside and rode the lift to her place.

She entered and walked with purpose over to the kitchen,  pulled out an etched glass tumbler and filled it with whyrens, sipping as she returned to the main room and slumped into her favorite spot on the couch.

Outside a nondescript observer spoke into his com saying “She’s home,” and left in the next air taxi.

 When Luke returned to his apartment, he found a message from Airen Cracken flashing on his com.  He stared at the blinking light and the name on the screen, his eyes narrowed and a muscle in his cheek twitched before he turned and walked in the other direction.  

It wasn’t until he’d eaten and showered and dressed again that he returned the call.

 The sound of laughter and music floated across Mara’s balcony from her living room and out into the busy Coruscant evening, disappearing into the buzz and whoosh of air cars and speeders flashing by in the night.

Most of her crewmates from the wild karrde were inside imbibing and doing something that only a drunken Gammorean would call dancing.  

Mara stayed out in the fresh air for a minute longer, sipping on the last of the whiskey in her glass.  A bit of ice remained and she tilted the glass back and forth watching it slide around leaving a wet trail on the sides. The air was calm, very little breeze except for the air that blew back from the traffic nearby.

She gazed at the cityscape, not really focusing on any one thing.  Mara could feel him sitting inside waiting for her to come back in, or at least that’s what she assumed.  When Luke showed up earlier, her bad mood lifted briefly at the thought of ways she could make the Jedi Master come out of his shell, and have what was colloquially called fun.

But instead he’d deposited himself in the big stuffed chair and hadn’t moved while he held in his mechanical hand whatever drink Ghent had offered him.   An hour later and it was still only half empty, his face slightly distant.  

Irritated and confused by his lack of engagement, she swallowed the tiny remains of the melted ice and wandered back into her living room.   She glanced briefly in Luke’s direction when she entered,  but his gaze was focused on  a picture on her wall.  It was an abstract, yet one could still make out a Couruscant skyline if you looked at the right angle.

Even so, she got the feeling that he was very aware of her entrance.

Well if he wanted to be the dark and mysterious guest he could play that game alone, she wanted to forget the past few weeks and another drink sounded good.  

[evita-shelby]

Nothing More Difficult than Love

Taglist: @whitejuliana1204 @lovemesomevesey @livelifewondering

Gif by @nofckingfighting

Chapter 11

“All right, John. There's only one. Only one man guarding the house.”

Tommy hides his nervousness by standing by the little window of the snug. Couldn’t risk Grace overhearing things again.

Its late July when John does what she and Polly were dreading.

“Polly, you know what it's been like since Martha died.” John begins, softening the blow and getting them to see his side of things first. He looks at Polly for help.

“God takes the best first.” She nodded and held his hand to comfort him.

“The truth is, my kids have been running bloody rings around me. Running barefoot with the dogs until all hours.” He continued, still unsure of how to proceed.

“Pol, give him ten bob for some new shoes. Is that it, John?” Tommy said and Eva was not the only one glaring at him.

“Tommy, we'd be better to do this without you.” Polly warned.

“Now, what's your point?” she asked John.

“What the kids need is a mother. So that's why I'm getting married.” He struggles finding the right words.

“Does this poor girl know you're gonna marry her or are you just gonna spring it on her all of the sudden?” Polly asked, hoping Lizzie hadn’t already said yes.

“I've already proposed. And she said yes.” John answered, still avoiding eye contact.

“I think there's a shell about to land and go bang.” Tommy said reminding them that he had no idea what this was about. He lit a cigarette and braced himself.

“It’s, um, Lizzie Stark.”

Polly, Arthur and Tommy snigger and laugh, except Eva. Something John appreciated.

“You knew about this?” Tommy asked her, shocked that Eva would keep it a secret.

“Wasn’t my secret to tell.” Eva defended herself.

“Could’ve warned us, Evie.” Arthur grumbled.

She had dropped hints; both men were just too busy stringing along Grace.

“John! Lizzie Stark's a strong woman, and I'm sure she provides a fine service for her customers.” Polly regained composure and began.

“I won’t hear the word.” He said seriously. “Understand, don’t use that word.”

“What word is that, John?” Tommy’s voice rises in anger. “Whore? That word. Or prostitute? How about that one?”

It then hit her that Tommy had been fucking Lizzie since he returned from France. Up until Eva showed up actually.

Was there a woman here he hadn’t fucked?

“Tom, its not the end of the world if he marries her. Frankly, I think its very stupid that the woman gets judged for that.” She tries to calm him down.

Besides the marriage was never going to happen. Not when Lizzie is in love with Tiago.

“See, your wife doesn’t give a shit about her past, why can’t you?” John asks him.

Because he fucked her. Because he knows she’s seeing Tiago at the Hotel.

Because if either man was available. Lizzie would succumb to temptation.

“All right, I want it known, if anyone calls her a whore again, I will push the barrel of my revolver down their throats, and blow the word back down into their hearts.” John warned.

Killing everyone won’t make it stop. Got to live with that, get skin thick enough for it not to bother you.

“She's changed. All right, people change.” Because if you say it enough it will become true.

He looks at Tommy. “Now, listen, Tommy. I won't do it without your blessing. But of all the people in the world, I want you to see it...”

“As brave.”

“Oh, it's brave, all right.” Arthur said sarcastically.

“Brave is going where no man has gone before.” Polly takes control of the conversation. “And with Lizzie Stark, John, that is really not what you'll be doing.”

“Give me some time. Welcome her to the family as someone who's had a hard life.” John explains to Tommy, still refusing to meet his eyes. “All right, because I need someone. All right, the kids need someone.” John isn’t saying that for them, he’s trying to convince Tommy.

After all it is Tommy who’s the real head of the family.

Tommy’s silence goes unnoticed when Finn barged in.

----

“Tommy, we’ve been done over.”

“Finn, sweetheart, how’d you get into the car?” Eva asked the boy wearing one of Tommy’s caps, the new sunglasses he bought in London and even the Cartier wrist watch she’d given him as a wedding gift.

“I climbed in, Evie. Something’s wrong with the doors.” He answered and kept playing.

Its then she sees her guazy silk scarf stuck at the edge of the passenger door deliberately.

That scarf had been left in Tommy’s office, when she came in this morning. The scarf Tommy had bought for her in London because he thought she’d like it.

The door, that was the Lees’ trap. To use something that would get Tommy’s attention and force him to open the door.

Gabriel had died from a faulty hand grenade. He had been unrecognizable in the pile of body parts they had put all the people who died with him.

“Finn, sweetie, can you show me how you climbed in without opening the doors?” she asked, getting close enough to take the boy, but not close enough to disturb the grenade.

Eva sees little Finn blown to pieces every time she blinks.

“Finn, don’t open any doors.” Tommy shouts and Finn panicked and accidentally kicked the passenger door.

Eva grabs Finn as Tommy hurls the grenade away from them.

Her hands shake as she holds Finn tightly. “You’re okay, kid. You’re okay.” She kissed the boy’s head.

Her hands are still shaking after Johnny Dogs manages to get Tommy an audience with the matriarch of the Lees.

Eva takes the glass of scotch offered to her, downs it in one go and puts it back on the table before it falls from her hand.

The pretty scarf was torn and still tightened in a knot from how they used it to secure the wire. Sits there like proof for them to dissect.

“You’re not leaving my side, boy. I’ll put you on a fucking leash if I have to.” Polly crouched to put herself at level with Finn, same Finn who was still shocked beyond words.

---

“I promise, Aunt Pol.” The boy sniffled and Polly pulled him into a tight hug.

Instead of letting Tommy handle the John and Lizzie thing, Eva goes.

Because Eva knows she’ll find her packing what little she has and a diamond ring on her finger.

Not just any ring, Tiago’s grandmother’s diamond ring. Doña Cayetana would die if she knew who ended up with her ring.

But the old woman would never know her grandson married a reformed prostitute. No one outside of Birmingham would know Elizabeth Rosales was Lizzie Stark.

“I don’t need you to lecture me, Evie. What I did with John was bad, but I can’t stay here. I’ve written him a letter and its waiting for him in his bedroom where he hides his opium from the kids.” Lizzie doesn’t look at her.

“I’m sure he’s found it already and I’m sorry things happened this way, the three of you deserve to be happy and it must feel awful for you to know you hurt a person you cared about.” Eva puts a comforting hand on her shoulder and the tall woman relaxed.

It was an unlikely friendship; Lizzie was ostracized for her occupation and Eva was ogled at like a new attraction at the royal menagerie.

Both outsiders in a place that had claimed them.

“Tiago said we’ll be gone for a year or two, enough time for us to settle in London where not many people know us.” Lizzie said.

Enough time for broken hearts to heal.

“I doubt you’ll want to leave Casablanca once the year is up, beautiful place. Yari said the riad used to belong to some sort of Prince, looks straight out of a fairytale.” Eva smiles helping her to see the bright side of things.

“A whore dressed in silk is still a whore.” Lizzie said bitterly.

“She who is without sin, cast the first stone.” Eva reminded her. “We’re too rich to care and soon you’ll be too. Fuck, you can change your name if you want. Erase your past and all that.”

“We can lie all we want, but the moment I set foot back here, I’ll still be Lizzie Stark the whore who lives up the street.” She scoffed.

“That was who you were, when you return, you’ll be Mrs. Rosales who lives in Mayfair because she deserves to have the great life the universe has in store for her.” Eva tells her friend.

Eva hugged her and kissed her cheek goodbye.

“Lizzie, you’re leaving just when I come to tell you I’m back?” Ada barged into the tiny living room.

The Shelbys would die if they knew Ada was friends with Lizzie, but Lizzie was one of the few women who could stomach being Ada’s friend through good times and bad.

Besides, Ada wasn’t the type to judge people for things everyone did.

A lesson her brothers should apply sometimes.

“Eloping, if I don’t leave now the groom will think I left him at the altar.” She said with a sad smile and hugged Ada goodbye.

“I’ll send you photographs of baby Karl every month if I can.” Ada gave into her happy tears and left mascara stains on Lizzie’s shoulder.

“And I’ll send you as many photographs of my new home once I get there. I have it on good authority it’s straight out of a fairytale.” Lizzie broke away first.

“No go before John does something he’ll regret.” Eva reminds her and Lizzie nods sadly.

“I’ll explain once you show me your new digs.” Eva whispered as a cab driver comes and picks up Lizzie.

“What’s this about John?” Ada asked.

[greatworldwar2]

• Arthur Chin (CNAF U.S Ace)

Arthur Tien Chin; Cantonese: Chan Sui-Tin; was a pilot from the United States who participated in the Second Sino-Japanese War. Chin was compelled to defend his father's homeland when Japan invaded China. Chin is recognized as the United States' first flying ace in World War II.

Chin was born in Portland, Oregon on October 23rd, 1913 to Fon Chin, who was from Taishan, China, and Eva Wong, who may have been of Peruvian background. Motivated by the Japanese invasion of China, Chin enrolled in flight school (at the Chinese Flying Club of Portland) in 1932, and along with 13 other Chinese Americans including John "Buffalo" Huang Xinrui and Hazel Ying Lee. He left for China and joined the Canton Provincial Air Force under General Chen Jitang as the first and original group of American volunteer combat aviators, and from there was sent to additional aerial-gunnery training with the Luftwaffe at Lagerlechfeld, Germany; returning to China to see the Guangdong Provincial Air Force integrated into the central government's air force under the KMT.

The Japanese Empire was on the march in Asia, and its annexation of Manchuria in 1932 simply confirmed the suspicions of many about Japan’s designs on China. Determined to save their ancestral homeland and buoyed by the best wishes of their neighbors and friends, Chin and eleven other young Chinese-Americans set forth in 1933 to volunteer to fly for the Chinese Air Force. They ran into a brick wall, figuratively speaking. Unfortunately, the central government was not interested in their services. Although details aren’t available, it seems likely that this was a case of the bureaucracy facing a situation without precedent or instructions and being unwilling to make a decision. Although China was seeking help from abroad it hadn’t solicited this particular assistance from these particular people. Added to this was their status as Overseas Chinese, which, to many, implied suspicious links to foreign powers. Japan was just one of several forces vying for power in China at that time. The 1911 Revolution that signaled the end of the Qing Dynasty had not led to the firm establishment of a successor regime and, despite high hopes for Sun Yat-sen’s Republic, China had fragmented into a patchwork of chiefdoms headed by warlords. By 1930, Sun’s party, the Kuomintang (KMT by then under Chiang Kai-shek) had suppressed most of these warlords and established a central government widely recognized internationally, but many provinces offered only token allegiance and groups such as Mao Tse-tung’s Communists still remained to be dealt with. Oddly, this situation gave Chin and most of his colleagues a “back door” into the air force. By the early ’30s there had been something on the order of sixteen separate air forces in China, ranging in size from one or two airplanes to a nominal strength of several hundred.

Perhaps because of their Cantonese ancestry, most of the Americans who were finally accepted started out flying for the Canton Air Corps of Guangdong. This was the largest and best-equipped of the provincial air arms, serving as “top cover” for Chen Chidang, the de-facto warlord of Guangdong. Art was one of these, being accepted as a Warrant Probationary Pilot on December 1st, 1933. In stark contrast to the pilots of the later American Volunteer Group (that was formed eight years later and existed for less than one year), who were paid $500 a month, their pay was equivalent to $25 US per month. Chin “enlisted” in the national air force during the summer of 1936. In a bid for power, Chen Chidang revolted against Chiang Kai-shek that May. Perhaps motivated by the sense that China needed unity in order to face the threat from Japan, in June and July of 1936 the Canton Air Corps defected as a group to the central (KMT) air force (the role in this of American pilots such as Chin is not clear, but they don’t appear to have been the instigators). This was more than simply a shuffle of allegiances: Cantonese pilots actually flew all of their planes to KMT airfields. At a stroke the national air force was substantially augmented, and, as might be expected, the revolt fizzled. After being sent to Germany for advanced training, Chin flew as a flight leader with the 6th Squadron and then from February until June, 1937, as an instructor. That month he was assigned to the 28th Pursuit Squadron, 5th Pursuit Group, as Vice Squadron Commander under another American, Captain Chan Kee-Wong.

Life in China wasn’t all preparation for war. Handsome and outgoing, Art sported a classically pencil-thin mustache and smoked a pipe. Reputedly one of his few social impediments was speaking Cantonese with a pronounced American accent, but he had enough charm to overcome that. He developed a reputation as something of a ladies’ man, one that would follow him the rest of his life. Nevertheless, about this time he met and married a Sumatra-born ethnic Chinese named Eva Wu (Ng Yue-ying in Cantonese). Meanwhile, friction with Japan’s Kwantung Army escalated into open war on July 7th, 1937. On August 10th the 17th and 28th Pursuit Squadrons were stationed at Chuyung Airfield near Nanking, capital of the central government. The 17th was commanded by still another American, John Wong, and was equipped with the export version of the Boeing P-26 “Peashooter,” the Boeing 281. Although it was an all-metal monoplane, the P-26/Model 281 was a transitional design and retained many old-fashioned features. On August 13th Japanese forces attacked Shanghai and began their drive inland to the capital. Chin made his first kill, a Mitsubishi G3M2 twin-engine bomber, on August 16. It was a difficult combat for him for a number of reasons, not the least of which was that his fighter wasn’t much faster than the bomber. Chin recalled that once he was in firing position he was virtually a stationary target for the bomber’s gunners. This combat highlights the rapid pace of aeronautical development during the 1930s. The 28th PS detached a flight to defend the Shaokwan Aircraft Factory in Canton Province, and Chin was selected to command it. On September 27th, 1937 his flight and one from the 29th (they being mounted on retractable-gear Hawk III’s) intercepted three G3M2s. Chin didn’t claim a kill, but Japanese records show that one bomber was forced to ditch on the way back to its base and evidence suggests that he was responsible for the major part of its damage. The following month China obtained 36 Gladiator Mk. I’s from Britain. The 17th, 28th, and 29th Pursuit Squadrons were re-equipped with this type and worked up on it during January and February, 1938. Chin went on to score most of his kills while flying this type of aircraft, but on the flip side crashed three of them. The only loss that can be chalked up as an accident occurred on February 9th, 1938. While leading a flight to Nanchang he ran into a snowstorm. In June Chin was appointed to command the 28th squadron and promoted to Captain.

On August 3rd, Chin is reported to have engaged three Japanese Mitsubishi A5M fighters by himself. Chin “deliberately rammed the Jap leader as he came in for the kill. Both planes burst into flame but Art hit the silk safely. He was wounded and slightly burned, yet when we found him he was directing the salvage of the precious machine guns from his wrecked plane.” Although exaggerated somewhat, the basic outline of this story appears to be accurate. In October, 1938, the surviving Gladiators were withdrawn for overhaul and the 28th Pursuit re-equipped with still another biplane, the Russian Polikarpov I-15Bis (or I-152). Decimated by accidents and enemy action, the Chinese air force had declined to a fraction of its former strength despite an infusion of Russian aircraft and reinforcement by Russian “volunteers” that had begun as early as the autumn of 1937. On December 20th, 1938, Chin was appointed Deputy Commander of the 3rd Pursuit Group.xxvii It appears that, like the rest of his comrades in the 28th, Chin qualified in the Russian fighters but he didn’t claim any victories while flying them. On November 2nd, 1939, Chin and a wingman attacked a Mitsubishi Ki-15 reconnaissance aircraft because of its speed considered by the Japanese to be virtually immune to interception by Chinese fighters but didn’t down it. Chin combat career ended in a suitably climactic fashion on December 27th, 1939. On this date he led a mixed formation consisting of an I-15Bis and another Gladiator escorting three Russian-flown SB bombers on a raid against the Japanese Army in the vicinity of the Kunlun Pass. After a savage fight during which Chin's flight fell one by one but appear to have shot down two Japanese fighters and damaged a third in return (personal credit for the kills is not certain), Chin’s Gladiator was hit in the fuel tank and caught fire. He nursed his flying inferno back over Chinese lines and bailed out, but was terribly burned. The sacrifice was not in vain; all three bombers got through. After the bloody fight, KMT forces regained Kunlun Pass. While recovering from his burns Chin stayed with his family in a small house on Liuchow Airfield and was nursed by Eva. Unfortunately, only two days after Art’s return, the airfield came under attack by Japanese bombers. Eva took the children to the air-raid shelter first and went back for Chin, who was virtually immobilized by the bandages. Too late to run, Eva threw herself on top of Chin and was killed by shrapnel when the next explosion destroyed the house. During an interview many years later Chin said simply “I held her dead body to mine until help came.”

Hong Kong, then a British colony, was neutral at that time. Chin and his children were evacuated there where, in seven operations over two years, doctors at the Hong Kong Sanitarium in Happy Valley tried to repair the damage to his face and hands. In the chaos following the Japanese attack on December 8th, 1941, (still swathed in bandages) Chin got out of his hospital bed, tracked down his boys whose caregivers had either abandoned them or been killed – and managed to escape back across enemy lines to friendly territory. Finally, friends such as Chennault and Madame Chiang Kai-Shek (Soong Mei-Ling, wife of the Nationalist Chinese Generalissimo) persuaded Chin to return to the States for treatment. As commanding officer of the “1st American Volunteer Group,” Chennault drafted a letter dated June 10th, 1942, requesting US air transportation for Chin. At a hospital in New York, Chin suffered a series of twenty operations over a period of twenty months to rebuild his face and hands, leaving him heavily scarred but reasonably whole. Clearly, Chin had “done his bit” and no one could blame him if he had decided to rest on his laurels, retire to a quieter line of work, and hide his scarred face from the world, but that wasn’t Chin's desire. He spoke at war bond rallies and on radio broadcasts with such celebrities as movie star George Raft. A particularly notable event was the “Gung Ho” War Bond rally in New York, which was sponsored by Chinese-American community and attended by dignitaries including Mayor LaGuardia. Finally in 1945, Chin returned to duty as a transport pilot with the China National Aviation Corporation (CNAC). He qualified for a Second class medical on March 28th, 1945.

During the final stage of China-Japanese war, he flew supplies over the “Hump” route through the Himalayas from India into China. This was not soft duty. A former commander of USAAF portion of the airlift, Lt. Gen. William Tunner, later wrote that “flying the Hump was considered as hazardous as flying a combat mission over Germany.” At the end of the war Art stayed on in China to fly with CNAC, by then as a fully qualified airline captain. Captain Chin was certified as an Authorized Check Pilot for the airline on October 15th, 1947. In 1949 Art returned to Oregon. He seems to have sought work as a pilot, as suggested by his getting a second-class commercial medical on September 20th, 1950, but was apparently unsuccessful. He did land a job with the postal service, and worked there until retirement. Not long before his death Chin was asked by a newspaper reporter why he had gone. His response was “China called me.” Chin is recognized as America's first ace in World War II. A half-century after the war ended, the U.S. government recognized Chin as an American veteran by awarding him the Distinguished Flying Cross and Air Medal. About a month after Chin died, on October 4th, 1997, he was inducted into the Hall of Fame of the American Airpower Heritage Museum in Midland, Texas as the first American ace of World War II. Chin died on September 3rd in 1997, he was 83 years old.

[arllenn]

Hey there, I rarely check on Tumblr nowadays due to work and stuff but I've played Dragon Raja for a while now so if it's not too troubling, I would like to request a fic of MC giving Osho and the others a well deserved verbal smack down during the final showdown (the MC didn't blame the Gen siblings for what happened to them and managed to save Erii from Osho). Bonus if MC cut ties from everyone after the mission... Sorry, I'm a huge fan of angst.

Tags for this chapter: angst, violence, all bitter no sweet, respawn system gets abused for angst Tw: cannon typical violence, graphic-ish descriptions of death, blood, suicidal thoughts and almost actions, wounds and the like

You’re clutching yourself as you shake knees getting weaker by the second, hiccuping and heaving the flood of tears that decorates both your face and the street under you with the weight of your emotions are the only constant for you. You’re drowning in your own emotions, phantom pains of all of your recent deaths and revivals clawing at you demanding your attention, demanding your time. You’re hugging yourself trying to mimic the comforting action that you remember from your childhood. “Why isn’t it working.” You choke out sobbing harder as you grip your arms. It’s too tight yet not tight enough, your limbs responding to your pleas is a sign that you’re still alive yes, but, but this is, this isn’t what you want.... this isn’t what you want at all. Your nails are far sharper than you remember them they tore through the flesh of your arms lightly. You could feel Herzog’s claws ripping through your flesh as well, everything hurt, you want to go home, you want to go home, you want to go home.....

But you can’t. Everyone was dead, at one point Caesar had said that Black Swan Bay had sunken, so the actual land was probably gone too, nothing left to remember that place but you Zero and Z. God you wanted to see them right now, the area on your head that he had patted earlier seemed warm giving you a small amount of comfort but also dealing even more damage to your psyche. You wanted to go back to those warm days in your childhood when none of this was known to you. When you weren't running around matchmaking and doing everyone else's work while also getting nothing in return, not a thanks, not even a small indirect amount of appreciation or encouragement. Your legs buckled under you your arms reching out as if to grab onto something to stop you from falling. Your knees met with the ground violently scraping at the skin there. You can't breathe, you can't breathe, youcantbreatheyoucantbreatheyoucantbreatheyoucantbreathe, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts, why is he doing this to you didn't he love you? That man, Herzog, had raised you. You had spent so much time at that orphanage, you were so happy. So why.  whywhywhywhywhyhwhywhy. You recalled warm winter nights spent in front of the fireplace curled up with Zero on one side and Z on the other.

You remembered one day specifically. Back then you lot were young, so, so, so, young. You chuckled choking on your tears, that day Z and you had spent a solid hour arguing over who would run over to get Zero, that day it had started raining, then the rain had turned to hail mid hide and seek game. Z had found you moments before the storm started. You two ended up huddled under the ice bridge. The orphanage in sight but seeming miles away due to the storm. Zero had been caught first and had gone back to the courtyard as per the rules so she was probably fine. You needed one of you to go and get her so that she could bring back an umbrella for the other. Then you had heard it, the sound of thunder wolves nearby. Then Z, with no hesitation had, scooped you up put your head under one of the flaps or his jacket and ran back to the cottages. All while you could hear the heavy ‘thunk thunk thunk’ of wolf paws behind you. Looking back on it now those wolves were probably the result of Herzog’s experiments and not a naturally occurring species. The souring of your childhood memory made bile rise in your throat, the thought of looking at your early life through that lens rather than just christmas day made you want to scream. Z and Zero were so different from your seniors. If you had been with any of them back then you knew for a fact that they would’ve sent you to deal with the wolves, only coming in when you were a hairs breath away from dying.

But that hadn’t save you before, you can’t count how many times you’ve died sense meeting them. From your flesh being torn from your bones by death servitors to bleeding out in some nameless alleyway after being shot by hydra’s soldiers. You had also drowned at one point, that death had been the worst. You remembered clawing at the water begging for the chance to live once again, you remembered feeling your legs tear off after the submarine had exploded, you remembered reaching your mangled arms out, out, out towards the light that came from the surface of the water. You remember feeling the water force itself down your throat and into your lungs, it burns, it hurts, it burns, it hurts. You had been seeing flashes of reality as well as the last time you ended up in cold waters like those. It didn’t matter because in the end you had died. It never matters how hard you try, how many times you die, because you always end up failing.

You lay on the sidewalk screaming, there was no one nearby nor anything that you could hear other than the pounding of rain on the sidewalk and your own sobbing. Your hand burned with the new blood that flowed inside you. Your mind burned with the scars of the past that it never got to address, your heart burned with the open wounds this mission had left you with. You wanted to die right here, sink away into nothingness. Stay in the room with the grand piano and flowing waters. No one could bother you there, no one could make you do meaningless tasks without your say, there was no matchmaking, no pointless errands, no suicide missions, there was nobody but yourself there, just you, just you. Luminous wouldn’t be there to make you do his work, he wouldn’t be there swearing to be by your side to help you while simultaneously doing nothing at best and dragging you down at worst. There wouldn’t be a Caesar there to send you on every reconnaissance mission with no backup and no direction. Johann wouldn’t be there to demand information on your past like he had even earned the right to know it, like he didn’t need to earn that right because it should just be given to him. Just you in a place where no one could hurt you.

You looked up from the ground that you had been staring at, bringing your hands up to your neck you squeezed. It wouldn’t work in terms of killing you, you knew that, but it worked as an easy substitute, feeling the pressure of your own hands on your neck, the shortness if not complete lack of breath, the light headed feeling, it served as a less drastic solution for now.

“It’s great to see you all safe and sound!” Eva’s voice cut through the momentary peace that you had found, your hands reflexively letting go of your neck.

“Safe and sound?!” You repeated in disbelief, “What part of any of me seems to be safe and sound?” It felt like she was mocking you. The memories of Herzog’s claws slicing through your spine, through every part of you, flashed then the words ‘It’s great to see you all safe and sound!’ Played over them, those words were the last thing you wanted to hear right now. Why,why,why,why,why is your pain always ignored like this? Why is it always your job to make everything right? You can’t do this anymore! You won’t do this anymore.

Bringing your fist up you smashed at your communicator, “Cassell- will...turn th-this into- into no-nothing more th-th-th-then a dream for every- every- everyone” Eva’s voice though distorted still managed to snake its way out of the thing despite all the damage you had done to it.

"AGH, SHUT UP!" You yell slamming your fist down harder and harder, each time screaming, begging for her to "JUST SHUT UP" You're crying even harder now. The glass that made up the outer layer of the screen. The rest of her words came out broken and jumbled, and even if they hadn't been due to the damage your screaming and shouting would've drowned it out anyways. "STOP. TALKING. JUST. SHUT. UP."

"Caesar helping you to-to-to destroy- criminal underworld.... true story- believe." Your fist paused midair at those words. Caesar had helped to destroy the criminal underworld? That was the story that they were going with? Not even the whole team, just Caesar what kind of absolute bullshit was that. You had done 100 times more then the supposed hero of the story, hell Luminous had done more, fucking Erii had done more. So where did they get off on this- this- you didn't even have a word for it it was so stupid, so stupidly infuriating. Herzog had said that the people from Cassell had experimented on you, and while he wasn't one to be trusted you sure do feel so fucking dumb for defending them. At least Herzog had the common decency to put up an air of kindness. These people just treated you like a convenient tool, something to be used and dealt with as they pleased. Something that didn't need thanks or praise or a break because it was an object meant to be used and thrown away as they saw fit. "Re-re-re-return to takamagahara to say-say-say-say-saysay goodbye-bye-bye to-" Your fist swung down with overwhelming strength shattering the communicator completely. Broken pieces of metal and glass embedded themselves in your hand bringing a fiery pain that slowly destroyed all of you in its wake. You fell even further onto the concrete clutching your hands one in the other relishing a bit sickly in the pain that it brought. Your right palm glowed with the same light it first had when you had accepted Erii's blood. Then it started rejecting the pieces of metal and glass in both of your hands. Slowly pushing them out and healing the cuts instantly once they were out.

Chuckling you flipped over your hands looking at both perfectly healed sides. It was like you had never been hurt in the first place. You marvled at them, twisting them over and over again, bringing them to your neck once again you smiled and closed your eyes. You had no idea what you were. Had you always been like this? An undying freak with special powers? Had Herzog's experiments done this to you? It was obvious that your new healing ability came from Erii's and the light king's combined blood but what about everything else? Had you been born this way? Was it Herzog's half baked evolution pills? Had Cassell truly experimented on you? Z said you had the capability to become a dragon lord now, but what did that mean? What did that make you? Your chuckles turned into full of peels of laughter, your cheeks stinging at the feeling of both the semi dried tear tracks being pulled at as well as the force of your laughter. The peels of laughter soon mixed with pained sobs and you were once again back to crying. You weren't going to put up with this anymore. Dropping your hands you slowly stood up like a puppet on strings. Walking at a slow pace one second in between each step you started walking.

----------------

Anjou is in one of the VIP rooms with a man dressed like a pastor. You don't care what they're talking about, stepping in front of the pastor you look over at him. He takes steps back on his own, unprompted, it's a first but then again you suppose that you probably look like the walking dead, and in a way you were, not to mention that you also felt like it. A lukewarm apathetic haze settled over your emotions as you looked down at Anjou. He's the second person you met after waking up, he's the whole reason you, a freshman at his wacky school that you hadn't even been asked if you wanted to join, were on this mission. How stupid is he? He had sent you, a person who had what he described as 'little control' over your extra skill and who had just woken up after a freeze bath in Siberia on this mission, an SS ranked one that he was hesitant to even send his best students on already. So why had he chosen you? Why did you have to die over and over for a cause you didn't understand and people you don't know. "Freshman." he nodded as though prompting you to speak. He never broke eye contact or even showed any emotions other than a laid back and relaxed expression. It pisses you off. Why is this old dingbat relaxing, kicking back and enjoying his time while your'e such a mess? He gestures for the priest to leave and he does. Leaning forward elbows on his knees he looks you up and down before going back to making eye contact. "What has you so worked up?"

You want to cry, its the closest you've gotten to an 'are you ok' sense waking up but at the same time you wanted no part of a wellness check led by the man in front of you. "Herzog said that Cassell College experimented on me. Is that true?" You can almost make out a hint of surprise in his eyes before he starts laughing. You bight your lips pulling them into your mouth in a desperate attempt to hold back your anger wanting to get your answer first before you rip him a new one.

"Goodness no, why would you ever believe anything that old snake had to say, and here I thought you were a once in a decade genius. I suppose that title still belongs to Johann then." You ball your hands into fists. Its more than obvious that he's making light of the situation. Didn't he know that you had been raised in Black Swan Bay? Didn't he know that Herzog, a man who you had trusted, had experimented on you? Is he incapable of connecting the dots between your trauma and your current situation combined with Herzog's words? No he did know, he knew and he still chose to make light of everything you had gone through. Insinuating if not blatantly saying that you were an idiot for believing that what happened to you once could happen again. Slamming your hand down on the table you levied on him the worst glare you could, the burning behind your eyes letting you know that you probably looked less menacing then you wanted to.

"Where the fuck do you get off saying something like that to me." It's phrased as a question but its really not. It's a challenge for Anjou to defend his words, one he unfortunately takes you up on.

"I understand that this whole mission and especially today has been taxing on your team but that doesn't mean you should and can snap at everyone like that freshman. Take sometime to cool off, go outside and talk to your seniors, hopefully they'll be able to reach you in ways I cannot." He's getting up to leave after his mini lecture, essentially passing you off to be someone else's problem but you wont let him leave that easily. Your hand grabs onto his forearm stopping him in his tracks. For a millisecond you consider punching him. Beating him over the head with one of the glasses on the table, but the part of your brain that still, despite everything, says that you ca't do that to him because he had pulled you out of Siberia's ice who knows how long ago says not to. And it wins.

"I'm not going to apologize for my language-" He cuts you off with a tut of his tongue, now you have no regrets for the words you planned on saying next. Letting go of his arm you continued. "I'm entitled to be angry when an asshole says asshole things. And I'm allowed to curse said asshole out however much I want." You step in front of the exit crossing your arms, you catch a momentary glimpse of your face in one of the metal outlinings of the wall as you do. You truly do look dead, eyes lifeless and lightless, face twisted into a painfully weak version of the you that you wanted to portray. You know that in this position you run the risk of your conversation leaking out of the room but honestly you don't care, like at all. At this point you want to just scream and cry your emotions out. But you can't because you don't want to, you don't want to be any weaker in front of anyone than you already are.

"Freshman-"

"I was raised by Dr. Herzog for so so many years and the whole time he was experimenting on me and everyone I knew. And-and-and you expect me to just trust you when you say that you didn't do anything. You expect me to rule that out as a possibility when you've given me no reason to, not in terms of character or proof. So why would you say that me believing that random strangers who I've known for less then a month and who I, if I'm being honest don't trust, experimenting on me is a dumb fear?" You clutch at your heart bunching up the cloth that protects it. "I just- do you see why thats dumb? Do you see why it makes no sense to me? One day I'm celebrating christmas as normal with my friends the next minute I'm smacked in the face with the fact that the man that I considered a father," you gag a bit on the word, "has been experimenting on me and everyone that I love, that he's been killing all of us as soon as we turn 18 because we wont survive to 22 because of his experiments? Finding out that he thought of us, children he had been raising for years as nothing more then science experiments who had outlived their uses. Do you have any idea how much that fucking hurt? I had to watch everyone die around me while I wasn't able to do anything! Zero even sacrificed her life to save me and I still ended up dying so many times anyways." You're clutching at yourself again, seeking comfort in the only arms that you can trust right now, your own. You're glaring down at the floor trying to blink the tears away. It doesn't work. You're basically two steps away from dry heaving and sobbing. Anjou reaches out his hand, most likely to guide you to sit down but you slap it away. "Don't fucking touch me. You sent me, a freshman who hadn't really even enrolled in your school or been given the choice to do so on a suicide mission with other students and no adult supervision from the college itself. I've died so many times sense waking up. It always hurts, it's never been painless, I've never been thanked and yet you expect me to just what- put my blind trust into you? I spent more time around Chime then I did you and he spent half of the time as Ruri Kazama."

'"Freshman you're hyperventilating you need to calm down."

"I WONT CALM DOWN" You're yelling now, its not the same kind of painful shouting that you had done earlier on the street, this is loud as well yes, but its from a frustrated sadness rather than a devastated anger. "Why did it have to be me? Weren't there other students you could've sent? Adults? Why did it have to be me? You had no reason to trust that I wouldn't kill the others. I had justwoken up and you decided that I was your best choice? You didn't tell me anything you just threw terms out and expected me to understand. You didn't even give me time alone to breathe let alone ask questions." Your chest is tight, you can feel each of your deaths, piercing pain of claws slicing through flesh, the burning heat of bullets, the singeing of fire, being torn to pieces. You can feel it all and it all hurts so much. You want it to stop, you need it to stop. You don't want to hear these people talk like they're your friends like they care anymore. It's all too much, you're almost sobbing now, curling in on yourself to try and mitigate any pain that may come.

"Newbie whats-"

You turn eyes catching onto Caesar, Johann, Luminous and Finger standing behind you. When did they get here, how much did they hear. It burns and it burns devouring everything in sight. All the memories that you have with them that you've been trying to view in a happy light, all of them crumble to the ground in front of you the moment you see them. "SHUT UP, USE MY NAME FOR ONCE WILL YOU?! NEWBIE DO THIS, FRESHMAN DO THAT, YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN ONCE USED MY NAME!" Full on sobbing you bulldoze through every thought that comes to mind yelling them out at the people surrounding you. "YOU'VE NEVER ONCE ASKED ME IF I WAS OK. YOU;VE NEVER ONCE SENT ANYONE WITH ME WHEN YOU SEND ME ON THOSE STUPID SUICIDE MISSIONS. I'M A FRESHMAN A NEWBIE YOU HAD NO REASON TO TRUST ME WITH ANY OF THIS. WHAT WOU;LD'VE HAPPENED IF I HAD DIED AND STAYED DEAD? WHAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF I HAD BEEN CAPTURED? WHAT THEN?" You clutch onto yourself harder, seeking even the smallest bit of comfort from the feeling. Your voice has lowered in volume, you no longer have the emotional or physical strength to do anything other than keep your voice above a whisper. "Do you lot remember when Ruri had specifically said that even two of us couldn't handle Herzog alone? And yet you still thought that it would be a good idea to send me up alone, acting like you were tough for taking care of the death servitors at the entrance." You sigh, there are so many other examples you could go through but you also don't want to be here any longer. "What about you Luminous? I get that you had to watch Erii, but making me do everything and anything you could think of by myself while knowing that Johann and Caesar were constantly sending me on missions as well? You even complained that I took too long to do things. Maybe if you did something for yourself for once instead of just saying that you will then running away and hiding like a coward these things wouldn't happen. Maybe then Erii, Chisei and Chime would still be alive and I wouldn't have to deal with- with this fucking guilt!"

"Look I'm sorry about the Erii thing but listen, we had no idea you were feeling like this. You should've come to us-" Finger is trying to mediate, trying to comfort you, but it only makes things worse.

"And how could I have," You croak out, "How could I have trusted that you would listen, that I would get a break? You never even presented the option for me to have any kind of choice in how I carried out my missions let alone not do them at all. I had nothing I still have nothing. I'm presumed dead at best and no longer exist at worst in terms of my original legal documents. And even if I had access to them I'm still 20 years younger then I'm supposed to be." With a watery chuckle you continue, "Even if I did tell you if I was thrown away I wouldn't have any papers to do anything, to get a job, to live a life, I'm completely reliant on the college for everything. Not to mention the fact that I know nothing about the world. If Cassell had deemed me" You shudder at the word "a failure, then I would've had nothing, not information on the world at current, not even an identity." You shake your head walking in between them and towards the exit. "I don't care I'm not doing this anymore. Find some other freshman to be you dog."

You walked out and onto the streets of Tokyo. You glanced back once lamenting the fact that you hadn't gotten to say goodbye to Zero. You turned away glancing in the direction of the convenience store that Luminous would always make you go to to buy Erii's milk. You trudged down the streets of Tokyo back to that place. Hopefully you can buy paper and a pen to leave her a note with what little money you have.

The bell on the store door jingled when you opened it. The man was standing behind the counter as he always was. You're experience with father figures have been lack luster this far but you've always thought that this man gave off the air of one. It made you relax, seeing someone that while familiar wasn't from the orphanage or Cassell. He looked up at you wearing that same smile that he always did. You knew it wasn't for you specifically but rather something that he probably gave all of his costumers but still it made you feel a bit warm inside.

"Hey kiddo you look a bit rough, everything ok?" You take a few steps forward and nod a bit

"I think it will be now. Or at least I hope so." He hums and nods his head at your answer deciding not to pry, a decision you appreciate.

"So then you here for the usual?" You look back at him and glance around the store, you don't see paper or pens of any sort. It's a bit of a let down but you suppose asking wouldn't hurt.

"Ah no actually," Your voice is still raw, and a bit choked up from all the crying and yelling that you did earlier, you hope you don't sound weird." "Do you sell like, um... paper and pens or something like that? I want to write a note to a friend before I leave."

He scratches at his chin mumbling under his breath as he thinks for a few seconds before getting up and going around the store coming back with a bottle of warm milk in hand. He then returns to his spot behind the counter pulling a note pad and pen out from under it. He places the milk next to the writing utensils and pushes them towards you. "Here, milks on the house, I don't sell paper or anything but feel free to use that and leave the note with me. I'll give it to your friend."

You give him a small smile. It's all that you can manage right now. Your eyes burn with tears again. "Thanks, my friends name is Zero she's blonde has blue eyes and is about," you place your hand were Zero's head is about as accurately as you can, "This tall. She has a flat affect and seems kinda emotionless but she really is a sweet girl. Um, her hairs long and she has a big black bow tying it back." The man nods his head repeating your description back to you. After gaining conformation he sticks his thumb up and takes the letter from you promising to hand it to her the moment she walks through the doors of his shop. You thank him one last time and promise to come back there if you're ever in trouble before leaving.

As you walk through Tokyo's streets aimlessly, you repeat the words in your letter, speaking them into the rain. "I hope that we can meet again in a more peaceful time, preferably away from the bay and Cassell as I don't have the best impression of them. With lots of love, your best friend..." You laugh a bit, your words were supposed to be a parody of what Z said to you. You think its fitting for a farewell letter.

You meld into the raindrops after looking back one last time.

[masterjedilenawrites]

Blueberries and Cowboys: Chapter 4 (Cowboy Path)

A choose-your-own-adventure style fic. Refer to this Masterlist for previous chapters and alternate paths.

Chapter 4: The Party (Cowboy Path)

Pairing: Eli x reader

Content: Drinking, some angsty pining

Length: 2.4k

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

The gala was as elaborate and ostentatious as you would expect of a formal event at the Imperial academy. It was like the whole ballroom shimmered as glasses of drinks were passed around and ornate dresses swished about in dance. You'd certainly never been a part of anything so grand from your home world before.

The sight made you pause as soon as you entered through the doors. It was breathtaking.

You let Thrawn guide you around the ballroom, barely registering his path as you took in all the shiny and expensive details around you. You were especially enchanted by the handful of couples circling around the dance floor, seemingly floating along with the music. You hadn't danced in so long... properly, anyway. Shimmying around your room in your underwear after a shower did not count.

"The music is quite pleasant," said Thrawn from beside you. For a moment, you forgot that part of the plan for the night was to substitute the names of your targets for other subjects, so any potential eavesdroppers would be none the wiser to your true intentions. Anything related to music was supposed to symbolize one half of the plan: Eva and Arden. But because you were so caught up in the spectacle around you, and your inner longing to genuinely engage with it all, you didn't immediately pick up on Thrawn's true meaning.

"It is," you said with just a hint of wistfulness. Your eyes happened to be watching one of the more gracefully dancing couples, the only signal to Thrawn that he needed to help you refocus.

He cleared his throat just loud enough to get your attention and then flicked his eyes toward the entrance of the ballroom meaningfully. You followed his gaze to see Eva and Arden had now arrived. Eli would be keeping an eye on them, while you and Thrawn would track Burdick. Your heart sunk as you were reminded, yet again, that you were not here for a good time. Tonight was about Thrawn's mission.

"Do you think Eli has noticed? The music?" you quickly supplied, hoping Thrawn wouldn't doubt your support.

"Yes, he seems to be enjoying it." Thrawn then looked to a different part of the room, where Eli was standing next to his date. Sadie. She was a tiny thing, with perfect proportions and well-styled hair and wearing a dress that left nothing to the imagination. You suddenly realized who she was, not having connected the dots before. She was in a few of your combat classes and had this weird habit of pumping her fist in victory every time she landed a good hit. You and Eli had made fun of her together. Why was he now going out with her?

"Yeah, he does..." you said absentmindedly as you watched your friend. Eli was making a show of casually looking around while really paying extra attention toward the couple by the entrance. But then Sadie linked her arm in his and looked up at him with a sweet smile, and he returned the gesture with a smile of his own. Your previous feelings of awe and fascination over this event were quickly turning into something much more sour.

"Did you also notice we have an assignment due soon?"

The comment from Thrawn made you blink away from the troubling scene in front of you. The Chiss had not been watching Eli, actually sticking to the plan and scanning the crowd for the other person of interest. Commander Burdick, who would be referred to by discussions of homework, another innocent topic. Thrawn had finally spotted him over by an hors d'oeuvre table.

"Thanks for the reminder," you muttered. A tray of drinks passed by, held aloft by a protocol droid, and you took the opportunity to swipe at one and down its contents in one go. You could see Thrawn eyeing you curiously from your peripheral, but you made it a point to not look back.

"Perhaps we should stand out of the way," said Thrawn, taking hold of your elbow and guiding you through the crowd and over to an area where several tall cocktail tables were set up. You set your empty glass on the surface of one of them and leaned restlessly against it. Your eyes kept wandering toward the commander as he munched furiously on some kind of cubed meat, glowering at all who passed by. Eventually you'd have to help make sure he was glowering at Arden long enough to maybe get some ideas, but right now, with the night only just beginning, there didn't seem to be much need for you to linger.

"This is a fun song. Maybe we could dance for a bit? Pass the time?" you asked, swirling your empty glass around in a bored manner.

Thrawn stared at you for a moment, most likely trying to determine if you were using the special code that you were supposed to or if you were actually talking about music and dancing.

"I think we should discuss the assignment that is due," he said, almost in a reprimanding tone. "It is rather important."

You swiped at another tray of drinks passing by, muttering over the rim of the glass, "Who goes to a party to talk about homework?"

You were being salty; you knew that. This mission was important and you cared about it. You cared about your friends and what this meant for them. But it seemed the more alcohol you took in, the more annoyed you grew toward those friends. Thrawn was such a stick in the mud, and Eli was apparently a big flirt. Was this really the best way to fix their problem? Was it really worth missing out on a fun evening?

Thrawn didn't seem too pleased as you downed your second drink in a matter of minutes. He cleared his throat in that way he did when he was about to lecture you. You cut him off before he got the chance.

"So what was that surprise you were talking about earlier?"

He blinked at you. "I never mentioned a surprise."

"Yeah. You said you didn't disappear, you were working on something, and that I'd see soon enough. Well? What should I be seeing?"

He reached across the table and gingerly took your empty glass from you with a frown. "You hadn't noticed? There is only one assignment."

It was your turn to blink at him. He sighed and jerked his head to where Burdick was still standing.

"I made sure his date would be delayed in arriving," he said very quietly; you almost couldn't hear him above the din of the party. "So he wouldn't be distracted."

You looked over at the Commander, not very subtle in your observation of him, so it was no surprise the man noticed your staring and frowned even more deeply.

The sound of your name caused you to snap back to Thrawn, who was circling the table to lean in closer. He seemed upset; or, as upset as Thrawn could ever seem through his calmness.

"If you have other things you wish to be doing, I would much rather you leave for them, instead of staying and causing problems." His voice was low in your ear. You sighed at his words, feeling bad for how you'd been behaving.

Just a little bit.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite student," came the voice of Commander Burdick. The man had apparently decided to come over after discovering you'd been staring at him, however, he was very clearly addressing Thrawn and not you. "I'm surprised you'd even come to an event like this."

"The Academy has provided a generous occasion tonight," Thrawn slipped out of his scolding of you and into his usual demeanor without missing a beat. "It would have been in bad taste for us to not attend."

Though it had been your staring that'd called him over, it was only when Thrawn referred to you collectively that Burdick finally acknowledged you. He gave a grunt as a sort of laugh.

"What about that scruffy little friend of yours? He doesn't care about taste?"

"Eli's here..." you heard yourself saying. You also felt Thrawn tensing beside you. You tried to give him a reassuring look as you turned to point out your friend behind you, moving about on the dance floor with Sadie. And just beside them was Eva and Arden, as you knew they would be. The two couples seemed to be trying to one-up each other with their dance moves. You quickly turned away so you wouldn't have to register how exciting and intimate it all was.

"So I see," Burdick hummed. You couldn't tell if he still had the same frown from before, or if it was a new one in response to seeing his ex with a student. "You're not a dancer, Thrawn?"

"Only when the mood strikes, sir."

"Well if you don't show your woman a good time, someone else will." Burdick took a step forward and held out a hand toward you. Your eyes grew wide, panicking. That was certainly unexpected.

Thrawn quickly, and smoothly, jumped to your defense.

"Sir, I'm afraid she is not feeling well. I have simply been keeping her company."

Burdick looked between the two of you, and then briefly beyond at the dance floor, before giving an odd smirk and retreating.

"Very well. Enjoy your... company."

The Commander turned on his heel and disappeared into the crowd. As you watched the back of his head, you couldn't help but wish you hadn't frozen and had accept his offer to dance. It was probably going to be the only offer you got all night.

"What... were... you... thinking..."

You looked over at Thrawn, surprised he was still upset. He was pinching the bridge of his nose and scrunching his eyes.

"Huh? I made sure he noticed Eva," you defended yourself. "He asked me to dance, probably to make her jealous, but since that's not happening, he'll be able to focus his revenge on Arden now."

"That is quite the assumption, based on absolutely no evidence."

"There is too evidence--"

"And apparently we've abandoned all secrecy and discretion, too. Might as well announce what we're planning to the whole ballroom while we're at it."

Thrawn's piercing eyes looked down on you, looking more like fire than they ever did. You bowed your head for a few seconds, needing to escape the heat and cool down.

"I'm sorry," you said, finally looking back at him. "I didn't mean to... mess up on the homework."

You offered what you hoped was an endearing smile. Thrawn only left you hanging for a second before he relaxed just a little.

"You did not mess up," he stated, returning to his side of the table and finally taking up the drink still left sitting there. "But perhaps you should just observe for the rest of the night."

And observe you did. The rest of the evening seemed to both pass by in a shimmering blur, and crawl forward at an unbearable pace. You observed couples dancing, laughing, even kissing. You observed how the energy of the ballroom shifted from eager liveliness to unhurried intimacy as time drew on. You observed the hors d'oeuvres dwindle and the champagne lose its bubbles and the lights dim ever-so-subtly.

Occasionally you actually observed the "homework," whenever he happened to pop out from the crowd. Thrawn did most of the note-taking, pointing out under muttered breath how the commander was still fixating on his ex, how his frown seemed to change from grumpiness and anger to determination and craftiness. Whatever that meant. You couldn't ever pretend to notice half the signs Thrawn did.

But most importantly, you observed a certain shaggy-haired boy from Wild Space.....

The way he danced, somewhat stiffly, but not as clumsy or awkward as one might expect from someone who couldn't figure out a tie.

The way he seemed to so effortlessly keep an eye on his despised classmate while still paying attention to his date and all her friends.

The way he casually hung out with her friends in between dances, as if he'd always been a part of their group.

The way he held her.

The way he looked at her.

At some point, you'd finished off your fifth glass of champagne, and you were definitely feeling the effects of it. That was what you were feeling, you told yourself. Your stomach was in knots and your brow was feeling warm and your heart was beating in your ears, all because of the alcohol. It didn't have anything to do with your guilt from upsetting Thrawn earlier, or the fact that even though Eli had nodded your way a few times in acknowledgement, he hadn't once come over to make good on his promise to save a dance for you. Nope. It was the alcohol and nothing else.

"Thrawn," you said quietly, breaking the Chiss's concentration on something-or-other across the way. "Do you mind if I call it a night? I'm pretty tired."

His eyes flickered over at the amount of empty glasses you had collected beside you, but he didn't comment on it. Only nodded in understanding and returned back to his mission.

You sighed as you picked your way through the crowd that remained. Quite a few students and teachers had already left for the night, but plenty still remained, and it baffled you just how many were hoping - and fighting - to earn to a place in the Empire.

And then something caught your eye just as you made to push through the doors and out into the night. One last thing to observe.

Eli and Sadie were swaying to the slow song playing, just off the actual dance floor. It was like they were in their own world. Her hands rested against his chest, and his chin laid atop her head, and they turned in slow circles as they rocked back and forth, holding each other close. When Eli's face finally turned toward your view, you swore your insides were threatening to crawl up your throat and spill out all over the shiny floor.

His face was relaxed, content. His lips were turned upward in a pleased sort of smile you'd only seen a few times on him before, usually after he'd told you a nice childhood memory, or after he finished a hearty meal. This wasn't an act; this had nothing to do with the mission or your purpose here at this dance. He was happy, holding her.

Just as his eyes wandered from whatever peaceful place they'd been resting and locked onto yours, you finally pushed through the door and left.

[hypo-critic-al]

Korean Frankenstein musical is quite good!

(MY SUBJECTIVE REVIEW)

After two musical adaptations, which are Frankenstein: a new musical and Frankenstein metal opera, I have discovered, not a secret of life as Victor did, but another very nice adaptation of Frankenstein! It’s name is "프랑켄슈타인 뮤지컬" or simply "Frankenstein musical".

I was watching Frankenstein a new musical stuff on YouTube when I stumbled across a Korean Frankenstein video with English subtitles. Maybe I can give it a watch, I thought...

And oh dear, I wanted more!

I don’t understand a single word of Korean but thanks to a few subtitled songs and Google Translate on my side I got to understand some parts of a plot.

Before I explain the plot I have to say that this is a very interesting and fresh take on the book. If you want to know my thoughts on it and what it is about, then you can read further.

(SPOILERS)

(warning! This story talks about murder, abuse of all kind, suicide intention, incest marriage, and other topics that may be triggering and unpleasant for you. You are free to scroll past this post if you want to avoid reading about these. Thank you.)

(The photos used in this post are from various sources, productions, actors etc. They are used to illustrate and show how the musical looks like. I don’t profit from using them.)

THE SCRIPT: Overture plays and we see a man in a lab leaning over a body on a table. Voice of a man and woman try to stop the said man from doing anything further but then a lightning struck outside of a lab and a body on a table sits up.

The whole story begins here:

It’s 1815, Napoleonic Wars are coming to their end, we meet one Henry Dupré: soldier surgeon and body grafter. He values the life of the others, it’s so precious to him that he doesn’t heal only soldiers from his side, but also his enemies. For this, a crime of espionage, he is to be executed and shot.

However, at the last minute, a soldier from higher ranks stops this. It is no one else than Victor Frankenstein. Victor takes Henry to his lab where he presents him his research and a reason he saved Henry: to create a strong, perfect, possibly immortal human soldiers from dead bodies.

Henry is sceptical at first, he doesn’t want to play God, but later agrees and joins this experiment.

The war has ended, the lab is closed before they could finish their project, so both of them are coming to Victor’s hometown: Geneva. People are celebrating the end of the war at the castle of their Mayor Stephen, Victor’s uncle. People are dancing and chatting and soon they start to spread rumours about Victor. Victor’s older sister Ellen and her cousin who also is Victor’s fiancee Julia are trying to prove rumours wrong but it’s too late. Victor leaves the event and goes to Frankenstein’s mansion.

Meanwhile, Julia is sad at the fact that Victor is cold and ignores her, but she still has hope that he will love her like he did before the war.

Henry and Victor continue their experiment in the old Frankenstein’s mansion, but Henry sees that people of Geneva don’t like Victor and hate the name of Frankenstein, so he asks Victor’s sister Ellen about it.

She then tells him a story of their family:

When they were children there was an epidemic. Their mother got ill and their father, a doctor, was unable to cure this sickness. He was so desperate that he started to believe in alchemy and the medical practise of the Middle Ages. Their mother died and young Victor, full of grief and denial, dug up his mother’s body and secretly tried to bring her back to life. Superstitious people, seeing that Frankenstein’s father used strange medieval remedies and seeing the grave of his wife empty, start to think that Frankensteins are witches. They burned down their castle and while escaping, Victor’s father sacrifices his life to save Victor.

Ellen and Victor go to live with their uncle Stephen and their cousin Julia and since then Victor is obsessed with life-creating. Once, he tried his theories and reanimated dead Julia’s dog, who became savage and feral afterwards.

Uncle Stephen doesn’t like Victor and decides to send him to study abroad. He then became a soldier and we know the rest of the story.

Victor is unable to reanimate a body, it seems that the brain cannot withstand the electric current and he needs to find a fresh brain. While drinking at a bar with Henry, Victor’s butler Runge, who was helping them with their experiment, tells them, that he has promised money to a mortician if he provides them recently dead body. However, it seems that a money-blinded mortician killed a young boy whom Victor knew and now wants more money in exchange for the boy’s brain. Victor lost his temper, killed the man and escaped. Henry takes the blame and is soon to be executed.

Runge, Julia and Ellen know the truth about his experiment and Victor’s crime but they doesn’t want to lose him. He tries to tell the court that he is a killer, but Stephen denies it, saying Victor is insane and ill after the war, so the court dismisses his testimony and Henry is sentenced to die under a guillotine.

Victor asks Henry in jail why he sacrificed himself and Henry says that Victor must live to fulfil his dream and that he must finish his experiment in a memory of him.

After his death, Victor takes Henry’s head and uses it as a last part of the Creature whom he brings to life. Runge and Ellen are amazed to see the reanimated Creature but Victor is crazy, he believes that he resurrected Henry.

However, they see the Creature move around weirdly, trying to come closer to his creator. This freaks Runge out and he attacks him, thinking the Creature wants to strangle Victor. Monster tried to defend himself, bit the butler’s neck and Runge died.

Frustrated Victor, seeing that this isn’t his Henry but feral Creature, wants to shot him but the Creature escapes the lab.

Three years later, Victor and Julia are celebrating their wedding. He is still anxious and thinks about Creature. Mayor’s servants then rush to him, announce him that his uncle, Mayor Stephen, has disappeared.

Victor distances himself from guests and that’s when the Creature appears before him.

Monster, who read Victor’s diary, which was in coat which Creature have grabbed before his escape, blames Victor for Henry’s death, he argues that he didn’t want to be created, left alone and later almost killed. Then he tells his story to scared Victor:

The Creature was running from Victor and after some time he found a village. He couldn’t overcome his hunger and decided to eat a dog. Turns out that the dog was of Eva, the wealthy owner of a fighting field and she sends her arena warriors to capture the Creature.

(This is where Google Translator began to fail, so I had to deduce things. When there is something I couldn’t understand, I put a question mark after it.)

The Creature sees Catherine, a servant in said fighting field, being attacked by a bear(?). He kills it and Eva, seeing Creature’s amazing strength, doesn’t punish him, instead she enlists him to her fighting arena as one of the gladiators.

Creature’s whole purpose is to fight with other fighters. Eva and Jacques, Eva’s husband, are constantly punishing and verbally abusing him.

The only person that shows sympathy for Creature is Catherine, who is also abused by her masters, fighters and other people from the arena, to which she was sold at a young age. She cleanses his wounds and she dreams of escaping away, to the North Pole, where there are no people to abuse her. Creature is fascinated by her story and wants to run away, too.

One day Fernando, creditor of the arena, promises that he will free them out of debt if the Creature wins against his fighter. He then approaches Catherine, promising her freedom if she adds strange medicine to Creature’s water. She is blinded by a promised freedom and does so.

The Creature is defeated in a fight, but Fernando’s plan is revealed and Jacques announces that the next day Catherine will die in the arena.

Monster is left alone, miserable, angry, longing for love and thirsty for vengeance and revenge upon his creator, he sets the arena on fire and finds Victor in Geneva.

Creature here ends his story and announces that this is the beginning of his revenge and escapes. Victor learns soon after that his uncle was killed and the court blamed his sister Ellen for murder. He arrives too late, Ellen is already hanged.

He then takes her body with intention of reanimating it, his lab is however destroyed by a Creature. Victor pleads Creature to kill him, but the Creature laughs, telling him that revenge is not over yet.

Day, when Victor feels the Creature would come he gathers people with guns in front of his house to kill Monster as soon as he appears. Suddenly, they hear Julia’s scream inside the house. Victor knows who to blame, and cries, asking why the Creature killed her and not him. Creature, who is standing near Victor tells that if he wants to avenge his dearest ones, he can find him in the North Pole.

While running there, Creature is regretthing his sins and while looking back at his life he finds a young boy lost in the woods. He calms the crying boy by telling him a story of a man who fought against God by creating life. The boy is curious and says that the Monster in the story is the Creature telling him this tale. The creature is annoyed by further questions, pushes the child into the water and continues his path to the Arctic.

Victor, from the last strength, reaches the Creature and fights with him. Creature stabs Victor’s leg with a knife and Victor shoots the Creature. Creature then says that because of a leg injury Victor won’t leave the Arctic and by following him to the Arctic he basically just punished himself.

The Creature dies, saying that justice was done and calls his creator "my friend". Victor sees that he is the one responsible for his tragedy, he was successful in revenge but at the expense of losing everything, and calls his creation, the last thing that somehow cared for Victor Frankenstein, his friend. He then slowly dies with his Creature in his arms.

—————————

Whew! This took me longer than I wanted to. First my draft got deleted, then again...

This musical wasn‘t directly sticking to the source material, but it is referencing it pretty often. For example, character of Henry Dupré was inspired by Henry Clerval, Julia=Elizabeth, Ellen is falsely acussed of murder as Justine was, instead of burning down a cottage of DeLacys, Creature burns down a fighting field etc. And is Runge a parallel for an Igor? I think he is.

Victor and Creature stay pretty similar to the book. Victor’s actions are affected by his pride, he doesn’t care about morality, God, etc. His actions may come from love of those he lost (his mother, Henry...) but he is careless and revenge blinds him that he slowly destroys himself. He may fight against God, but he faills to take responsibility.

Also, how could he think he would revive Henry by stitching his head to a creature’s neck? That’s dumb! Victor, I know you want your boyfriend back, but that is awful.

The Creature wants to be loved but instead he is hated everywhere he goes. He reads Victor’s diary and is mad at him, he doesn’t see that although Victor tries to make strong corpse soldier but he doesn’t know the thought process behind it and a fact that Victor tried to revive Henry by making the Creature.

So the Creature shows him a simple revenge plan: Runge attempted to kill me – I killed him. You are resposible for Henry’s death – I kill your uncle. You are responsible for my creation – Ellen dies. You tried to kill me and abadoned me – I kill Julia. Now if you wanna take this further and destroy yourself even more, come to Arctic.

And Victor does. And monster uses the same logic later, too. They both thought of stopping this chase to Arctic stuff but they were blindly following their rage for one another which resulted in their death.

I can’t judge things further because I didn’t watched full show.

But the music is pretty much fantastic! Just epic. I don’t care very much for flaws If a musical has great music.

Also if you look at actors, singing, dancing, costumes... I feel like a lot of money went into this musical. And a lot of money have returned from tickets. I think I read somewhere that this is considered the best original Korean musical in Korea. Because other musicals that are this popular are Broadway musical productions.

This may be a clichè for someone but I truly enjoy smart double acting roles. Not the ones like: okay, we don’t have enough actors, let’s make this one play another role. No, not like that. I like those meaningful ones. Kinda what Hamilton did. Here it is too. You see, it is obvious that the actor playing Henry plays later the Creature. A person whom once Victor adored is now a person whom he hated the most. And actor of Victor plays role of Jacques in second act. Isn‘t this cool? A person who rejected him is now a person abusing him. Every named character plays another role similar to the one in first act. I think Eva is played by actress of Ellen, Ellen stands by Victor’s side and agrees with everything he says. That’s also Eve’s relationship with her husband Jacques, played by actor of Victor. Soft, loving Julia is Catherine here. Actor of Runge plays the role of Jacques’ servant. Etc., etc.

One thing I didn’t like much was a difficult story. I know that Korean audience may have different taste, but to me, a Western listener, it was a bit confusing plot. They added unnecessary stuff to it, changed some things and sometimes it’s really confusing. (Hey! That’s what Jekyll & Hyde did! They left only key things from the book and changed everything. And this musical is comparable to J&H then. It’s not Frankenstein: a new musical that is similar to J&H, it’s this! This is a Frankenstein adaptation that follows the story path of J&H. That’s interesting.)

And I didn‘t mind this, but couldn’t they left the names unchanged? Why couldn’t Victor’s fianceé have a name Elizabeth? And why you have Jacques and Eva? You could have one character, only Eva for example. Jacques is just here, slapping the Creature (the only reason for having them both is their double acting roles, which I understand). And there is Ernest erasure as always. And no Robert Walton, too! They cut this character. The more I look into it, the more I feel that this musical was made by someone who liked Jekyll & Hyde.

(END OF SPOILERS)

To sum up, this musical appears to me as a nice, original take on the original book. It has interesting parallels to the book, references it throughout this show, and takes inspiration from Frankenstein movies. It feels like a blow of fresh air.

The music is very likeable. If you like Wildhorn-ish kind of stuff like I do, then this is, I don’t know, it feels more complex and confident than what I am used to. Maybe you won’t like it, maybe it becomes your favourite musical, this is just my opinion.

And don’t get me started on singing, acting, costume design, sets, choreography... it’s beyond perfect and I think that the West musicals should take notes.

I have talked about some stuff a bit more in a spoiler section but I have to say it here too, this musical has a very interesting take on Victor/Henry relationship that later affects Victor’s actions and his relationship with the Creature. It’s very heartwarming and creepy at the same time.

I think my sole obsession for countless days (I haven’t listened to anything else than these since last March) that are Frankenstein: a new musical, and Jekyll & Hyde musical have a new opponent. New March, new me (It’s still just Frankenstein tho).

So, pros and cons:

PROS:

-good music

-good acting

-good singing

-referencing the source material

-nice take on Victor/Henry relationship

-I like reasonable double acting roles

-simply it’s good

CONS:

-name change of main characters

-no Robert and Ernest (I know, but not even Walton is here!)

-tiring and long story

-unnecessary/bland female characters

-foreign language

I rate this musical 8,25/10. I still haven‘t seen it whole, so I can’t really judge it objectively.

I assume there is no full recording and I can’t find a script either. If anyone has an English or Korean script/bootleg, please, let me know : )

Here is a recording of a few songs performed at a musical press conference, you can set an English subtitles if you want to know the words:

Here is a link to the full Korean album, not all songs were recorded on the album:

And here is an animatic that makes me cry ;-;:

I apologise for bad grammar, stupid reasoning and other things.

I hope you didn’t mind me sharing this musical with you, I like this show and I haven’t seen any people talk about it in Frankenstein (book/musical/etc.) fandom, so I made this post to share it with you.

Have a nice day : D

[insomniacowl]

Neon Genesis Evangelion analysis chapter 21: Kaji Ryoji Lies and Silence

Hi, it's been a while. I'm sorry I disappeared for 5 months while working on the graduate thesis. From now on I will try to upload once every two weeks at 7pm on Saturday.

From here on out, the analysis will focus on the important characters of Evangelion with 15 chapters left to go. Thank you for your patience so far and I hope you all stick with me for the remainder of the ride.

Also, I realized that Tumblr now allows maximum of 10 photos a post, so I am thinking of moving or co-posting on a different site. I'll update all of you when that happens

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Sakiel: The third angel, the first real opponent of Nerv. A portion of voice recordings of the battle attained

Shamel: The fourth angel, visual data gathered and backed up. Will send recordings of Unit – 01's battle against it.

Ramiel: The fifth angel, portion of remains attained and analyzed. Will send information about AT field.

Gagiel: The sixth angel, visual confirmation. Information attained from the UN. Will send information along with Unit – 02's battle data.

Israphel: The seventh angel, visual confirmation, will send data through channel 11-B. Attained sample of material composition

Sandalphon: The eight angels, confirmation through a still image. No further information

Matarael: The ninth angel, visual confirmation. Used the blackout to obtain a sample.

Sahaquel: The tenth angel, photographed attained. Will enter into the database through channel 57-F

Ireul: The eleventh angel, visual confirmation, data erased by Nerv. Will retrieve physically and send them over.

Reriel: The twelfth angel. Unit – 01 went berserk again

Bardiel: The thirteenth angel. Data attained from Mitsushiro facility

Zeruel: The fourteenth angel, visual confirmation. Unit – 01 went berserk. Will send video data.

---Excerpt from "The memos of Kaji Ryoji."

"2015: the Last Year of Ryoji Kaji" was written by the head scriptwriter Yamaguchi Hiroshi and was published in 1997. It contains Kaji's observations of various Incidents and set pieces in the series. It is not anything too particular; however, the fresh perspective Kaji's writings provide makes this an essential material in our understanding of the world of Evangelion. The excerpts mentioned above are essential proof of Kaji's identity as a spy and prove that the blackout during Matarael's attack was deliberately caused by Kaji and Seele.

Furthermore, it explains how Seele had attained information regarding Iruel's existence and its attack on the Nerv facility, even when Nerv/Gendou tried to hide this fact.

The memo above seems to be the observation of Nerv and the angels made by Kaji. While Kaji officially belongs under the Japanese government's command, as we have covered in Chapter 17, the Japanese government is unaware of Lilith's existence. It, therefore, has a different numbering system from Nerv and Seele.

Adding on to this point, the public in the world of Evangelion is unaware of the existence of Lilith. High-ranking Nerv officials such as Misato are aware of Lilith only as of the cause of the First impact and no more. Thus we can deduce that Kaji made the memo while he was on Seele's side, considering that he knew about Lilith in detail. But Kaji never once wholly and permanently sided with any organization. Like how his main character trait is a "flirt," he is never loyal to any organization, just like how he is perceived to be with women; two, perhaps three-timing.

Kaji: You've lost weight

Ritsuko: Are you flirting with me? Stop. A scary-looking friend is watching.

However, it is wrong to say that Kaji was a cheater by any means. His heart belonged only to Misato, and she was the one he trusted the most. His flirting with Ritsuko and Maya made others view him as a superficial person and did not take him too seriously. This got some eyes off his back. This would have given him more freedom to act in achieving his goals (but also, it might have been fun to get Misato jealous in a playful way).

Kaji: Not like you are going to repay that. I added some dummy information in case.

Now, let's take a closer look at Kaji's actions throughout the series. He makes his first appearance in episode 7, having a phone call with Gendou discussing the Jet Alone (JA) program. Because JA was developed as a competition to the Evangelion projects, its implementation would have caused Nerv's authority to weaken and jeopardize the HIP. Making it a top priority to prevent its further development. Minus the actions taken by Misato, the proceedings of JA going berserk and being miraculously fixed were likely a scenario manufactured by Gendou.

Kaji: it has been restored up to this point. It is frozen in a thick layer of bayclade, but it is alive.

The key to the HIP

We first see his face in episode 8 on a new mission: Transporting Adam and Unit – 02 to Nerv headquarters. He likely attained Adam's body in Germany, stealing it under the nose of our dear old friend Keel. The question is, how did he do it? We will never know the details, but we know that Seele's projects that required Adam were complete at this point (Creation of Evas and Tabris). They may not have had much use or concern for the leftovers. Since Adam's fetal form is small, it would have been easy to swap the original for a copy before he left. Of course, this would not have gone unnoticed for long, and it did not.

In episode 10, we see Kaji talking to an unknown woman about the initiation of protocol A-17. It appears to be a measure that limits and shrinks Nerv's authority and freeze their funds. Just like the JA plan, it shows the hostility of the Japanese government towards Nerv. Because Nerv and Seele are still on agreeable terms, Kaji is seen as a double spy between Nerv and the Japanese government. But in episode 11, the Nerv blackout happens. With clues spread over the episode pointing to Kaji as the culprit with Seele's support, we begin to see him in action as a triple spy.

The reason why Kaji undertook such a dangerous role is to get closer to the "Truth." Upon realizing the Japanese government's imbecility, he begins to walk the rope between Nerv and Seele to seek the truth.

Kaji: Is that an angel? This is not the time to be doing my job

We first see him in action in episode 13 while the HQ was distracted defending against Ireul. Here we see him collecting information around the central dogma. While doing so, Kaji notices the angel while passing through the passage in level 28 and hears the announcement that the "Sigma unit (the Eva simulation chamber) will be shut off in 60 seconds. Bearing in mind that Magi is located in level 40 and that a lower number refers to a deeper level, we can see that Kaji has already infiltrated deep into the complex. As central dogma and Lilith were information that Nerv and Seele wanted to keep secret, this infiltration was likely Kaji's initiative. With the same logic, we can also say that the information he gathered regarding the Marduk institution in episode 15 was his individual action as well.

Later in the episode, he is found by Misato as he was trying to infiltrate the central dogma. But Kaji does not seem surprised by this fact and opens the door without hesitation. What they see on the other side was the white giant Lilith. However, we hear Kaji refer to it as Adam. Why? There are two possible explanations for this. First is that Kaji knew that it was Lilith but deliberately lied to Misato.

This explanation is weak at best. It contradicts the characterization of Misato being the only woman Kaji trusts. Further, it contradicts the portrayal of their relationship in the following episodes. It is also difficult to explain why Kaji would distinguish between Adam and Lilith in his explanation to Misato.

The other possible explanation is that Kaji believed this to be Adam, and I am personally more convinced of this explanation. As we have seen in an earlier episode, Kaji passed on the Adam sample to Gendou. Both were fully aware of what he has gotten into his hands (puns perhaps intended). Then why did Kaji believe that it was Adam in central dogma? He likely at this moment believed that the white giant was the manifestation of the Adam sample that he stole. Although it looked different, Kaji, who saw Sandalphon transforming at an unbelievable speed, would have drawn parallels.

Kaji's misunderstanding is also supported by the secretiveness of the existence of Lilith. The information being top-secret accessible only to the Gendou and Seele. Even when Gendou referred to Adam as "The first man," it could be him trying to misdirect Kaji on the identity of the white giants. Although the reason for this secretiveness is not apparent, we know that Seele was ashamed of their status as the descendent of Lilith, this being the reason for conducting the ritual of atonement.

The HIP Seele type is, in essence, based on the feeling of perceived inferiority against the Adam-based angels. Thus it can explain away why Seele would want to keep the project a secret from the public. Even without such reasons, Lilith's identity as a being in the same caliber of existence as Adam might have created a need to keep her locked away and kept secret. This to minimize unnecessary friction and interference in their plans by other organizations.

To add on, let's touch on the strange phrase written on the container of Adam's sample that Kaji brought over. "Who is you? He is living. Why?". There are no explanations given regarding this phrase. It is likely written by one of the researchers in the german facility that was studying this sample. Being the only remaining Adam sample that seemed alive with the absence of a soul, it would have been baffling to look at it.

This lie about the identity of Adam and Lilith is a recurring motif. In the earlier chapters discussing the angels' identity, I have mentioned that due to the enemies being the "Angels," Evangelion fundamentally rejects the narrative of Good triumphing over Evil. During one of the sequences in the opening song, there is a frame reading "ADAM," and it is unique as it is the only one that is black words with a white background. This likely foreshadows the fact that information regarding Adam that we receive is different, thus, at some level, inaccurate or lies.

Either way, the truth of the White giant's identity is revealed near the end of the series. The audiences are made aware of it through the exposition of Tabris. For Miasto, she receives this truth from Kaji along with all the information and data he collected by himself. Through this 'Truth,' we can infer what Kaji wanted to protect and what his 'will' was. This 'will' to live is passed on from Kaji to Misato, from Misato to Shinji, and influences his decision during the end of Evangelion.

Kaji: Shinji, the only thing that I can do right now is to water these plants. And as much, there are things that only you are capable of accomplishing right now. No one is going to force you to do anything. Think for yourself. Decide for yourself. Determined what it is that you need to do right now.

So that you will not end up in regrets.

The alliance between Gendou and Seele began to show signs of schisms in episode 19 after Unit – 01 consumed Zeruel's S2 engine and became a being as though god. This was more in line with the plan of Gendou, who sought for the creation of a new god, the material conditions misaligning from Seele's plans of atoning for the sin of Lilith. Kaji was very much likely to have been aware of all this. When the schisms showed, Kaji had to choose the side he had to stand with. He seemed to have concluded that Nerv is closer to the truth that he wanted. Therefore he ended up helping Gendou achieve his version of the HIP.

I say this as Kaji played a crucial role in convincing Shinji to return and pilot Unit – 01 during the battle against Zeruel. Afterward, Kaji released Fuyutsuki, who was kidnapped by Seele, and began his pro-Nerv strategies. This leads up to his assassination by Seele's orders. To borrow Seele's words, "The bell around Gendou's neck lost its will to ring."

Fuyutsuki: Is that you Kaji?

Kaji: It's been a while.

Fuyutsuki: You will lose your life if you do this.

Kaji: I am just heading towards the truth that I believe in.

Let me talk a little more about his death. In episode 21 of the renewal version, an additional line was spoken: "They found out that I handed over Adam's sample to Gendou." This draws a line connecting the importance of Adam's Sample in Kaji's death and its role in the HIP.

Regarding the Assassin identity, due to the scene of Misato's grief being placed right after Kaji's death in "Death and Rebirth," some believed that it was Misato killed Kaji. One of the rare things that Anno came forward and cleared up was that Kaji's assassin was an unnamed individual that we do not see ever on screen. An additional argument made by those suspecting Misato as the culprit claims the evidence of interlaying of Misato's apartment door label right after the gunshot. This was later removed in the renewal version.

Kaji: No one can understand another person to a full extend. They can't even understand themselves.

But that is why people try their best to understand the other.

And that is what makes life such a fun experience.

Many of what Kaji says touches on the critical messages of Evangelion. It is also why I am starting off this section, the analysis of characters with Kaji; understanding Kaji is integral to understanding the series as a whole. He loved Misato but could not tell her his true feelings during the happiness of reunion after eight years. This was likely the greatest form of love that he could have given her, knowing that he is close to his death. The reason for Kaji's obsession with the truth and the sufferings he experienced in the past is fleshed out in detail in the comics version. He was orphaned as a consequence of the Second impact. After a failed attempt at stealing food from the military base, all of his friends were killed, leaving him alive and questioning the reason for their suffering and death. Kaji sought to avenge his friends by understanding why the Second impact happened.

But even without going into the details, we can try and understand the pain and suffering he went through as the generation living after the Second impact. Yet, his general attitude towards life and his ability to call living to be fun is his unique charm. He even managed to have a smile on his face while looking at the face of his death. His smile was not a forced fake that he made to mask his fear of death; he has probably smiled from the bottom of his heart.

Yo. You're late

Because he would have already reached the truth that he worked so part to attain.

TBC Chapter 22: Katsuragi Misato Part 1 With a cross in hand

[chuckbass-love]

Johnny storm fic rec where he had a daughter young and even though he is an arrogant fuckboy he’s a really great father

Hi lovely. First of all, thank you for the request, i love it and second of all, i’m so sorry for the long wait. I’ll be saying this to everyone who has requested because i’ve been terrible with writing. 

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Johnny Storm x Fem!Reader

Warning: None, all cute and fluffy. Soft Johnny. 

Word Count: 1,481

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @pantherclawz go check them out❤️

My World

First things first, you’re not the usual type that even drives past bars like these let alone stepping a single foot in one and secondly, you’re not the type to talk to a stranger at a bar like this and yet here you are. 

Sat next to said stranger, drink in hand and 10 minutes deep into a conversation but soon enough you get bored. It’s blatantly obvious that he’s a fuck boy, after sex or any kind of fooling around. And to say you’re opposed would be an understatement. You don’t do that. You actually prefer to get to know the person before any kind of intimacy takes place. 

He continues to go on about his plans for the rest of the night before turning to you “so, fancy joining me?” he asks, a hint of optimism in his voice and what he will never admit to anyone right now is that he just wants the company. He knows all about the reputation his name holds but he’s not after anything like that. As much as it comes across like he sleeps with anything that has a pulse, it’s not entirely true. He too likes to get to know the other person before jumping into bed with them.

But you made a snap judgment, something you tend to do quite a lot.

“Um, yeah. i’ll pass” you turn your head away, rolling your eyes and trying to catch the bar mans attention so that you can order another drink but the mystery dude speaks up again “did i do something wrong?” and you’re back to looking at him again.

You’re quick to defend yourself, stuttering over your words “y-yes, i mean n-no. No, you didn’t. I’m sorry” 

“Sure seems like it” he chuckles nervously and silence falls upon the two of you, an awkward one at that.

The bar man brings you your drink and you flash him a smile which he reciprocates, he can probably sense the tension. 

Since you’re not talking to this stranger, he takes this as his opportunity to pull his phone out, his lock screen photo appearing and catching your attention. And once you see it, you’re instantly intrigued. It’s a photo of him with a little girl, she must be around 5 at least. 

It couldn’t be... could it?

“Who’s that?” your voice makes him jump a little before he sighs “it’s my daughter” his muttering is more than enough of an indication that he really just doesn’t want to talk to you. Maybe you were too much of a bitch to him. 

“Look, about before, i’m sorry. I really am i just got the impression that you were after sex” 

“You assume the worst a lot then?” 

“Yeah it’s kinda my deal, but i’m sorry”

More silence falls upon you both and you have no idea why. Maybe your apology hasn’t been accepted which is understandable. You finish the rest of your drink before checking the time on your watch, it’s getting kind of late now so you should definitely get home. 

The only reason you came here in the first place was because you broke up with your boyfriend. It destroyed you to even say those words to him but you just weren’t in it anymore. You fell out of love and this was the only place you could think of that wouldn’t involve you bumping into someone you already know.

“How much for the drinks?” you ask and the bar man stalks over to your spot “2 shots of tequila and 2 vodka sodas. That’ll be 35″ he winks and you rummage through your purse to find the money before eventually sliding it over to him and putting your coat back on.

But before you can leave, the guy speaks up.

“For the record, i wasn’t after sex and i accept your apology” 

That alone makes you smile and soon after he turns around to face you again.

“I was talking to you because you seemed down. I was hoping to maybe cheer you up and maybe get a kiss along the way” he smirks, chuckling to himself about his joke.

“You really know how to change someones perception don’t you” you giggle, taking your seat next to him again “i’m Y/N by the way” you hold your hand out to shake his.

“Johnny” he takes your hand in his, shaking it and somehow causing shivers to run down your spine.

“So how old is your daughter?” you scoot a little closer and he turns his phone on to give you another glimpse at her “5. Yeah i was young when i had her. Her mom and i split up shortly after, it was mutual and i guess it made us better parents”

“Really how so?”

“Well we certainly don’t argue anymore that’s for sure”

“How was it, having a daughter so young” you enquire

“It was hard, i’ll admit. But she’s my world, i wouldn’t give her up or change her for anything”

You can’t believe this, you had him all wrong. You go to ask him more about her but he beats you to it.

“Anyway, enough about me, what about you, what brought a gorgeous girl like you here all alone tonight?”

“Fresh off a breakup and so i decided drowning my sorrows and guilt here would be a great decision” and somehow the compliment catches you off guard but you cover it.

“Well, whatever it is try not to feel bad. I’m sure he’ll heal and if you weren’t happy then you did what was best”

“Quite the advice giver aren’t you?” 

A smug look appears as he agrees without even so much as a second to hesitate “i am indeed”

All of a sudden his phone lights up with the name Eva appearing.

“Hey”

“Yeah sure, i got time, is she okay?”

“Put her on the phone”

“Lily honey, why aren’t you asleep?” he asks, different pitch in his voice and now it’s obvious he’s talking to his daughter.

“Well, what would help you sleep?”

“Daddy? Um, is mommy okay with this?” 

A loud laugh escapes his mouth as you watch him happily, he seems so fulfilled with being a dad. Like it’s second nature to him to take care of his daughter and put her needs before his own. The definition of a great dad.

“Okay, i’ll be there soon sweetie okay?” 

“Okay, i love you too”

He hangs up the phone, a huge grin plastered across his face “sorry about that”

“No, don’t apologise. Was that your daughter?”

“Lily? Yeah. She can’t sleep and has pretty much demanded i go over to read her a story so i better get going” he takes out some money to hand the bar man before slipping his leather jacket back on and standing up. You do the same following him out of the bar and into the street to hail a cab.

“It was really nice meeting you by the way” he stops as a cab pulls up next to the pavement and he opens the door for you “yeah, it was nice meeting you too. Short but sweet” you say, unsure of whether or not a hug or a kiss would be appropriate right now. 

After the events of the last hour, you gotta say you’d love to see him again.

Before you can even make that decision though, he leans in, his lips touching yours ever so slightly. Enough for it to be a kiss but you can see he’s holding back so you close the gap between you and place your hands either side of his face to deepen it. 

Somehow you get the feeling that you were supposed to meet him, even if you only spoke to him for an hour. It was enough to make you feel good and take your mind off of your current situation. 

Plus it’s not often you’re wrong about people and he totally took you by surprise.

Once you pull away and open your eyes, he’s even more smiley than he was previously.

“Do you mind if i get your number?” he scratches the back of his head nervously and it causes butterflies to form in your stomach “sure”

After giving it to him you get into the cab and he shuts the door before leaning into the window “see you soon then” 

“See you soon, Johnny”

Yeah you were more than wrong about him.

-------------------

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[evakuality]

Hanna, episode 8

1.  I know I’ve said it before, but these scenes with Hanna and Mia are so super gay.  Part of me still really really wishes that they’d gone there - I like the Jonas/Hanna reunion in s4 well enough (if we ignore the absolute travesty of stealing time from Amira), but I’d have really loved if Mia and Hanna had been the thing instead of adding in a random extra character for no reason.  Imagine the potential....  Also, Alex is still the worst.  Like I know he’s the worst because William was the worst.  But he’s still the worst.  Gross.  His sleazy manner is so offputting.  I hate that Mia ends up falling for this.  I do hope that unlike the original, Mia doesn’t lose all of who she is herself in her season.

2.  Ugh, I forgot how irritating Kiki is.  I really really like her by the later seasons (particularly in s5) but man in these early times she was not so great.  I know Kiki thinks they’re all being punished because Leonie hates Hanna, but as I said before Amira and Mia weren’t even with Hanna at that point, so that’s not likely.  Kiki’s need for control and to be liked is really coming out in some unpleasant ways.  This whole ‘what Hanna does reflects on our crew’ is so... bleh.  With every word Kiki gets more and more toxic, and then starting in on Amira as well, and wondering why she’s the bad guy?  She’s a young kid and she has this desperation to fit in and be cool and liked etc and I get that she’s not a dreadful person at the end of the day.  But she really needs to grow up.  Particularly given that she literally pursued Alex when he’s not exactly a saint about all this sort of stuff.  One thing I do love about this bit with Amira (and she repeats it when she speaks to Matteo in s3, which is a nice bit of character continuity), is how she leans forward and speaks very forcefully to Kiki as she explains her point of view.  The camera is tight up in her face, or rather she moves into it, and it doesn’t let Kiki or the audience move away.  And the call to prayer is a lovely touch right after, reminding of the ‘Muslim gangster world’ and what that’s really like.  Kiki needs to step out of her own sphere and realise that other people have their own thoughts and feelings and things aren’t always what she thinks they are.  Poor Hanna is suffering a lot, and instead of supporting her, Kiki chooses to pile on, focusing on her own ‘pain’ at the situation.  Which, in context, is really really petty.  And then she acts like she’s the hurt party?  Grow up, child.

3.  This little scene with Jonas is so painful.  The acting here is really nice.  Jonas’s sadness and hurt is so palpable, as is Hanna’s anxiety and tension.  It’s all so awkward and painful, and the way it’s shot with Jonas always at a distance and never really looking at Hanna just makes that all the more intense.  And I mean, I know Jonas is hurting and I know it’s hard for him, but this whole bit about how Hanna has no personality of her own is so mean.  In some ways he’s right (and correct me if I’m wrong, but in the original it was Eva herself who says this bit to her Jonas - I don’t recall every detail of Eva’s season as well as I’d like so this may be wrong, but what I remember is something similar to this line as part of why she choose to end it at the end, and if so I don’t really know that I like this change; it’s better from the character herself as a realisation).  But even if he’s right, it’s a bit unfair.  He told her to go and be someone outside of him, and now he’s like ‘I don’t know you at all’ and it’s really frustrating because I still don’t feel like ‘make out’ is an accurate description of what happened, and Sam is really the one who was pushing and pushing, and yet all the blame is being set on Hanna.  He says it’s not because of that, but of course it is.

4.  I always cringe at these scenes where the Eva character gets ‘slut shamed’ and basically panics.  It’s so hard to watch them go through it, and in so many ways this is the hardest episode for them.  Hanna is at a nadir.  Yes, Mia, Sam and Amira defended her, but with the tension with Kiki that support is falling apart, and then Jonas told her to call him when she gets a personality (harsh!!), and now she has someone in the school sending her messages in period blood.  It’s all pretty shitty.  And Kiki almost word for word repeating Jonas’s accusation about knowing ‘what kind of girl’ she is.  It’s totally understandable that she wants to get away from all of this stuff.

5.  Then this shot of her at the bottom of the stairs.  Distanced and lonely, and it’s even worse than it was at the start of the show.  Then, at least she was outside and had space around her, and the colours were much happier.  Here she’s closed, in, boxed out by stairs and the walls etc and it’s this dark, gloomy colour set.  There’s a bar of light, but she’s not even in it, she’s to the side of it, like she can’t even let herself have that.  Then we cut to literally seeing her through the bars of the stairs, like she’s imprisoned, which is effectively what everyone in the school is doing to her.  I do like the change that Matteo is here in person for this ‘you shouldn’t change schools’ talk.  There’s something about the interaction that changes when they have to do it face to face.  And yes Hanna, my love.  You start getting angry that people keep trying to tell you who you are.  Matteo’s lines here really do feel more like an overt attempt at reverse psychology than Isak’s did.  Again, I assume this is because we still didn’t know about Isak at all.  Whereas Matteo still feels more cynical and calculated.  His attitudes and the way he’s approached Hanna have felt different.  It’s really interesting to consider where his head is at in this season given just how low and disconnected we see him at the start of his own.  I guess when he’s called out for it over the next little bit it does change things a bit.  Plus of course the way his own life is about to be hit.

6.  The Hanna and Leonie talk is really interesting.  Up til now, Leonie has seemed much more dominant and Hanna much more timid.  And that’s been partly the way it’s filmed - they’re sitting or Leonie is placed above Hanna.  But here, Hanna looms over Leonie, quite literally, and it’s good to see her start to stand up for herself.  Leonie’s mannerisms are the same but they aren’t having the same effect.  And that’s partly because Hanna is at her lowest ebb.  While she seemed lost and lonely at the start of the season, that’s nothing on where she is now - now, she really has nothing left to lose so she can have this conversation and look!  Direct communication actually worked!  She got the results she wanted.  Also interesting is the choice to put Leonie in white and shoot against this wall - she looks diminished and washed out even after they were put back on the same level when they sit.  Until now it’s been hard to sympathise with her.  Yes, we know she’s been hurt, but she’s been so awful with it.  But it’s so clear here just how much of a toll all this has taken on her too.  And it’s so painful to watch Hanna have to admit to the things she did that have ruined so many of her relationships.  And the business with wishing we can change things but not being able to - it’s so human (and also this scene is so incredibly well acted!) and it sucks to have to admit that we can’t do anything about what we’ve done in the past.

7.  Somehow this bit with Jule doesn’t hit the way it does in Eva’s season.  I think it’s a combination of the way they’ve chosen to portray Jule - she seems a lot more standoffish - and the fact that Matteo has been a bit sketchy the whole time, with some clear hints that he’s not all he seems to be.  Also, possibly, because we do have Skam as a reference and so we did already know where this was going.  Either way, this last part of the scene falls flat after the very emotional bits with Leonie.  

Overall, I find this episode a lot more fluid than the previous one.  But this last day’s clips must have been a whole lot when watching live.  Poor Hanna goes through the ringer on this one day.  The way this one is lit is really interesting as well.  It’s either dark shadows or it’s really bright light, almost harsh with sun etc almost washing things out.  It’s an episode of extremes, which I guess is the point.  Hanna is going through some extreme emotions here, and the surroundings do tend to reflect that.

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Don’t Give Up On Me - 3/4 | westallen fanfiction

A/N: This chap is INTENSE. You will cry, you will swoon, you will smile (I hope). Enjoy! Only one chap left after this!!

...

Chapter 3 -

“Okay. Tell me.”

Where the hell did she start?

Iris licked her lips, hardly aware her fingers were trembling until her husband lightly covered them with his own.

“I don’t want you touching me,” she said, before he could get a word out.

Barry stilled, and then pulled his hands back, not knowing what to do with them. Iris couldn’t look at him. Her eyes filled with tears. She knew she’d broken his heart.

Several moments passed. They were achingly painful. Finally, she forced herself to lift her head and look into his eyes. He was watching her steadily, patiently, but she saw the brokenness in him.

“But in the same breath,” she began again, “I crave your hands on me everywhere.”

He watched her steadily, clearly wanting to touch her but restraining himself because of what she’d first said. He was a broken man, but he was also a determined one. He just didn’t know where to begin, and he had a feeling interrupting her in any way was a bad call.

Iris swallowed.

“For two months I was stuck in that mirror dimension, and for five weeks of it, you didn’t even realize I was gone.”

His eyes closed in anguish.

“I couldn’t bring myself to blame you at the time, because that…thing that looked like me was so god damn convincing. But as the cracks started to show, I wondered how in the hell you couldn’t see what was going on, that she wasn’t me.” She paused. “I missed you and loved you so much, I couldn’t see past that. Blaming you was inconceivable. You were Barry, my husband. You’d never intentionally hurt me.”

“I wouldn’t,” he said quickly, needing to reaffirm what she was saying. “Not ever.”

“And I’d never intentionally hurt you. I’d never threaten our marriage. I’d never tell you I wasn’t your home. God damn it, that was in your vows!”

“I know!” he exclaimed. “I know it was. That’s how I knew it wasn’t you. That’s when everything began to come together. After that I was sure.”

“I know,” she softened. “And I’m so glad, because I would…I would never.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” he said quietly.

“God, after that I just…I wanted to ring her neck for daring to hurt you so badly. I wanted to beat Eva to a bloody pulp for deceiving me and setting everything in motion.”

He seemed astounded by that admission.

“Though not by breaking a bottle over her head, that’s for sure.” She smiled weakly, and Barry laughed, though it was strained.

She leaned forward and ran her hands over his arms, reaching up to his shoulders, then cupping his face, capturing his gaze in a way that nothing else could.

“I’m so sorry that she made you believe I was cold to you, that I didn’t value who you are as the Flash, that I started fights for no real reason, that I was…mean. I was glad she avoided your kisses, because she wasn’t me. But I wasn’t glad for you because you thought…” She shook her head, tears soaking her eyelashes. “Barry, there are few things in life I need more than you kissing me.”

He sprung forward the short distance between them and kissed her. She didn’t push him away. She pushed her hands into his hair and nearly climbed onto his lap to cave to all he had to give. But then she remembered and broke off their kiss.

“But you made love to her, Barry.”

Slowly she slunk away until she was at the far end of the couch, her knees up against her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them.

“You touched someone intimately that wasn’t me.” She hesitated. “You cheated.”

A heavy silence settled between them.

“Or was it sexual assault? Because you didn’t know? It was. Or was it?” She blinked her tears away and looked towards the stairs, replaying in her mind the way he’d lifted Mirror Iris into his arms and carried her up the stairs to hers and Barry’s bedroom.

“I keep going over it in my mind, and I can’t decide.” She looked back at him. “The logical part of me says you were assaulted. Of course you were. She couldn’t be convincing if she didn’t at least start acting the way I would. She was so close to who I was, at least in the beginning.

“But my heart…” She licked her lips. “My heart says some part of you did know. You had to have. Even my mirror self couldn’t have acted exactly as I would have in such an intimate way. That was one place the truth should’ve been abundantly clear.”

“I thought you’d changed,” he admitted, not looking at her. “Crisis changed so many things… I thought maybe it changed you too.” Hesitantly, he looked up. “I blamed myself for not being able to adapt. I vowed to be with you and support you for the rest of our lives, Iris. If the end of the world changed you even a little, that was just something I had to accept and love anyways. Because you’re Iris. You’re the love of my life. I wasn’t going to refuse to love or support some part of you that had changed because of me. There was no way.”

“Barry, Crisis was not your fault. You helped recreate the world and bring all of us back. You can’t blame yourself for the changes that were made.”

“Then how do I fix this? Us? How do I bring us back to the way we were before Eva and the mirrorverse and this twisted version of you that I…I couldn’t see through at first.”

She shook her head and looked down at her moving fingers in her lap.

“I don’t know if you can, Barry.”

“Iris-”

“Because…what I fear most, more than anything, is that at least in the beginning, you preferred her to me.” She choked up the tears she’d been holding back.      

Barry’s jaw dropped. Disbelief coursed through him.

“Iris, no.”

He longed to pull her close, but he was afraid to, so he inched just a little closer himself. He reached for her left hand and pressed kisses to her fingers, and to her rings. She let him.

“She made perfect pancakes,” she sputtered. “And she spoke Italian.”

“Iris…”

“And she was probably more adventurous in bed too,” she huffed.

He lifted his head up to look at her doubtfully.

“More adventurous than us?” He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“She had to have been!”

“Why?”

“Because she was a better version of me!”

That made him snap. He scooted forward and cupped her face tightly.

“Hey. No one is a better version of you, okay? No one.” She didn’t respond. “OKAY?”

She still didn’t respond.

“Hey, look at me.” He relaxed his grip slightly.

Finally, she met his gaze.

“Something was off with her. Something was always off. She made me doubt myself and you and us. She didn’t share our connection, not even at first. And I could never quite shake that. I did a good job convincing myself that it was me, but there was a voice in the back of my head that was screaming, telling me to listen to my gut.”

“So, why didn’t you?” she asked, her bottom lip trembling.

“Because I didn’t want to doubt you. I trust you with my life, with everything. So when she said we’d never grow apart, I believed her, because it sounded like you.”

She swallowed and cupped his face.

“I want to believe you, Barry. I want to more than anything. I want to believe that when you look at me you don’t see her.”

“I don’t!” Tears welled in his eyes now too. “How could I? You’re sweet and loving and passionate and everything she wasn’t, not at her core. She was a different person. She wasn’t you, no matter how much she pretended she was. And when she got lazy, I noticed. I’ll always notice.”

“Barry…” She sighed.

He closed the distance between them and kissed her quickly, passionately. She was breathless when he broke away.

“Tell me you want this, us.”

Her heart ached.

“I want us.”

“Tell me you trust me.”

“I trust you.”

“Tell me you believe me.”

She hesitated.

“I believe you.”

“But you don’t.”

She swallowed.

“I believe that you believe what you’re saying. But I wonder if subconsciously…”

“Don’t wonder.”

“I can’t help it!” she cried out. “We’re sitting here right now so I can pour out my feelings. Not so you can seduce me, not so you can tell me I’m wrong, not so you can defend yourself or even accept full responsibility. Just so I can get it all out and maybe…I don’t know…heal from this, this sickness, or…whatever this is that’s wrong with me!”

“There’s nothing wrong with you!”

“Then why do I feel so broken?”

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Because you were taken advantage of, traumatized, almost went insane…”

“So were you,” she said softly.

He intertwined their fingers.

“Tell me I can make love to you, Iris.”

She shook from the chills wracking her body from the sound of his words. Suddenly she wanted nothing more.

“Make love to me, Barry.”

He opened his eyes and leaned in, closing them again as he kissed her. Iris lifted herself up and climbed onto his lap, pushing him down onto his back so she could straddle him better.

She kissed his neck and slipped her hands beneath his shirt. Soon the clothing was over his head and on the floor, and her hands were exploring his chest and torso, kissing her way down as he gently massaged her scalp.

“Mmm, that feels good, Barry,” she murmured, laying her head over his heart as he pulled the strands of her hair away from her face.

“You feel good, Iris.”

She sighed contently, his skin warm and heavenly against her face. She wrapped her arms around his body and scooted up to kiss him again.

“I love you so much,” she murmured between kisses.

He groaned. “I love you.”

In one swift movement, he had Iris resting on the pillows on the other side of the couch, laying on her back as he hovered over her. He unbuttoned her pants and slid them down her body, then did the same to himself, depositing the set on the floor where his shirt had gone.

Iris sat up and rid herself of her shirt, but Barry insisted he unhook and dispose of her bra.

“Jesus, Iris.”

He ran one thumb over a nipple, then leaned down and kissed it.

Iris was dazed. She threaded her fingers through his hair as he worshiped her breasts and licked a trail down to her belly. It was as if he’d never seen her naked before, when in fact they’d made love only a few weeks prior.

But tonight was different. It felt like a fresh start, a new chapter in their lives, even after everything she’d confessed. He was trying so hard to please her, to show how much he loved her, to be what she wanted and needed. How could she doubt him when it was like this between them? How could she hold onto her heavy feelings when all he wanted was the real her?

Barry wouldn’t let her – not now at any rate. He was too busy kissing her, caressing her, stripping her of her underwear and himself of his. If she didn’t act now, he’d make the entire business about pleasuring her. Which was all well and good, but she wanted to show him how much she appreciated him too.

She reached out to where his cock sat propped semi-erect along his body and started to stroke it. It made Barry break off the kiss and press his head into her collar bone.

“Iris,” he hissed, as she squeezed his length and continue to move up and down it. “S-s-stop.”

“Never,” she whispered, and pushed him so he was on his back again and her mouth hovered above his tip.

“This is about you,” he groaned, reaching down despite himself and lowering her mouth onto him. Eagerly she sucked, deepthroating him until he was hissing profanities and rising up off the couch.

“Jesus.”

She pulled free with a pop, satisfied to find his cock fully erect now.

“Just humor me, will you?” she asked, prettily smiling at him.

He liked that smile. He’d missed it. He desired her even more the longer he looked at it.

“Gladly,” he said, lifting her up and lowering her slowly onto his cock as he devoured her breasts again.

Iris pushed him down onto his back, her arms flat against his chest and began to move. His eyes flickered with electricity before he shut them tightly, his chin tipping up and his lips parted the faster she ground against him.

“Oh, baby,” she purred, one hand still on his chest, the other clutching her breast.

Barry couldn’t stand it. He set one foot on the floor and started to thrust up into her, digging his fingers both into her hip and the top of the couch for his desired speed and leverage.

He wanted to push her down, to pleasure her, to eat her up until she was screaming, but for reasons he could never determine, she was certain in her goal to pleasure him, to hear the profanities streaming from his mouth, feel how he clutched at her with lustful desire.

He could pleasure her any time, and he probably would before the day was done, but she wanted to show him how she could make him go wild. Not her mirror self, but her. Iris West-Allen. Only she was capable of taking him to depths he’d never gone.

And with one more thrust up into her pussy, she exploded, and so did he, his white semen coating her insides and spilling out onto their legs.

Breathing heavily, Barry opened his eyes and stared up at her, his eyes watering and another growl seeping out in satisfaction.

“That was fucking fantastic, Iris,” he managed. “But why didn’t you let me-”

“Hush.” She leaned down and kissed him. “Let’s do it again.”

He smiled against her lips and picked her up off the couch. Still inside her, he felt as she rose and fell all the way up the stairs against him. It made him stop at the first landing to fuck her against the wall for a few seconds. He almost fell to the nearby steps to finish the job, but she insisted they make it to the bedroom.

She remembered that awful memory – when she’d seen him carry her mirror self up the stairs to make love to her. But he didn’t seem nearly as desperate then. He hadn’t been naked, he hadn’t paused, he hadn’t fucked her midway because he couldn’t wait any longer. But he did that now, with her.

He hadn’t known her mirror self wasn’t his wife that other time, but in this moment it hardly mattered.

In this moment she was driving him absolutely out of his mind. She did that. No one else. Her.

And Barry – her Barry – wasn’t with anyone else. He was with his wife. He didn’t want to be with anyone but her. He never had. And he was going to prove it to her all night and every night.

As long as it takes.

...

*will post on AO3 and FFnet when beta’d.