#I miss this scary guy SO MUCH!! this will be available as a print at anime boston next weekend and on my online shop soon!!

[klimtsonian]

“I’m afraid you’re out of luck.”

[omegatheunknown]

AEW ALL OUT 2021

In which, not to get ahead of myself here, AEW puts on one of the best major wrestling shows in several years*, following the simple yet effective principle of giving the people what they want and sending everyone home happy and hungry for more.

- The incredibly 'Nitro' ending of the go-home Dynamite, which ran a little long on the 'heels beat everyone up and strut around like assholes almost too in desperate need of comeuppance' bit, short of garbage raining into the ring, did actually increase the heat for both promoted matches. Again, not rocket science, but executed perfectly. Catharsis was on the card, and catharsis went over several times Sunday. - Again, it's time to move on from the Casino theme, shuffling the deck and drawing suits really only detracted from the Battle Royale and seemingly always throws the production crew a curve. If they haven't hammered it by now, it's not going to happen. - Bit unhappy about the PAC/Andrade situation, but still over the moon with Andrade's promo style and Chavito being unhelpful at best.

*Pre-Card

Best Friends and Jurassic Express v The Hardy Family Office and The Hybrid 2 (**) - Not usually much to say about a loaded-up multiteam boondoggle, particularly when the show has yet to begin, but there were some moments worth sitting up to take notice -- there's a lot of talent in the ring, even if Jack Evans/Angelico aren't going to be more than mid-level mooks, little matchups with guys like Luchasaurus and Chuck Taylor are opportunities for innovative/weird spots. - Really this match exists to show-off Jungle Boy, play his theme song twice, and work him in to the aforementioned spots. I don't rightly know what Jungle Jack's ceiling is, but it sort of feels like he's plateauing, at least this version of himself. - Dan Lambert thing is interesting in that it doesn't seem to easily lead to something obvious... I mean who are Scorp and Ethan Page feuding with by proxy here, the concept of contemporary professional wrestling? Orange Cassidy and Kenny Omega?

*Main Card

Miro (C) v Eddie Kingston for the TNT Championship (***1/2) - 'Redeem Deez Nuts' T-shirts now available -- and made immediately redundant now that Miro has graciously redeemed Eddie's nuts. - Imagine looking at Miro, listening to Miro talk, and not really being able to figure out this guy is money. Also imagine panicking when he took a little while to find his groove in AEW. 'The Redeemer' is both entertaining and terrifying, and this match delivered heavily on the promise of two big fellas smacking together repeatedly. - Not only does Eddie's arsenal of power moves target Miro's neck, he may also be quite difficult to put in the full reclined camel clutch. Or he'd quite literally snap in half. It didn't come to that. - Weird heel turn by Bryce's attention span and the overall weirdness of the finish is all that kept this from being an excellent match, otherwise this was a tremendous curtain jerker and started off a dangerously fun run of pure adrenaline.

Jon Moxley v Satoshi Kojima (****) - The stakes were nebulous, the build was abrupt, yet this was a fantastic match and tremendous showcase for an underappreciated great who has been more or less just toiling for a bunch of years as a NJPW Dad. Same deal for Nagata, and I assume Tenzan is the same, Taka Michinoku even -- let's see it. - I have to assume the Cozy Lariat might have put Mox down, but Kojima otherwise played the hits (Koji Cutter, Piledriver, Brainbustaaaa) in a big way and Moxley once again proved he's become a very well-rounded wrestler who can match the intensity of just about any former IWGP champion. - More to the point-- KAZE NI NARE -- out of nowhere, too. Or out of nowhere to those not paying attention to the whereabouts of Minoru Suzuki (Right, he's just over here to fight Daniel Garcia and not Mox?), which I guess is to my own peril. Wow, though. Surprise Number 1- a complete surprise, and a welcome one. Let's have it.

Dr Britt Baker, DMD (C) v Kris Statlander for the AEW Women's Championship (****) - I love Kris and her best friends but she didn't have a prayer of dethroning Britt. She got one promo, several weeks ago, and though she did make a meal of Hayter and Rebel, the chase has been abrupt and not given much discussion, other than Mark Henry and whomever else acknowledging what is extremely evident -- Statlander is stronger than she looks, and she looks really strong. They've got her doing Cesaro-level 'modify your grip while holding your opponent's entire weight' nonsense, and it's amazing and scary. - Even with the reign of the good doctor not being credibly threatened, this was an excellent match that demonstrated the continued growth of the competitors in the women's division, even as it underlined that their storylines remain undercooked and perfunctory: Orange Cassidy whipping off his shades to urge Stat to get up was a beautiful moment. Britt's Panama Sunrise, also, too sweet. Statlander eating shit on her 451 and her pendulum moonsault was properly brutal, as were Britt's curb stomps. Really great match between these two. - Again, if they had bothered to write anything into this story, such as Kris' alien physiology making her immune to the lockjaw or something... actually, maybe that's a terrible idea. it's an idea. Undefeated challenger is defeated, on to the next for Dr Britt. Statlander and OC should tag against some of the boys.

The Young Bucks (C) v The Lucha Bros for the AEW World Tag Team Championship(*****+) - Can't not mention the insane entrance lined up for Fenix and Penta. It was bewildering, it was enchanting, it was aggressive, it was hype. It also reminded everybody how very badly we all wanted the Lucha Bros to win. The crowd has been setting new peaks with their volume since Punk showed up, but things were absolutely thunderous and ecstatic at the end of this match. Absolutely valid response. I yelled on the couch. - Nick's facial hair was a bigger tell that it was time for the Bucks to lose than anything else about this build. There's literally nowhere to go from there -- they've done the hair, the bandanas, the kicks, the animal print, the dangly earrings -- peak visual heel for this time and place. - Sincerely thought this was going to be too much of a full sprint spot-fest (the PWG-esque circle of trading blows is not really 'my thing') but even so they kept finding gears, and ramping and ramping and adding blood and brutality along the way. Even a bit of levity, with the tacked up sneaker, followed by the sincerity of Penta throwing himself in harm's way to protect his brother. Immense match, I think you'd have to go back to the Bucks vs the Addiction and MCMGs Ladder War to find a more thrilling tag team gimmick match. - If there's a single flaw to be found it's in the production not really settling on wide angles for simultaneous action at the start of the match. They figured it out. - Rey Fenix is the best luchador in the world.

Women's Casino Battle Royale (**1/2) - If nothing else, this really shows off that they now have a surplus of women's wrestlers who deserve time to hang in the ring. Unsurprisingly, the match picked right up when Thunder Rosa and then Jamie Hayter got to the ring, with additional props to Tay Conti and Jade Cargill, who was dumped rather unceremoniously given her general booking... - Okay, there was something else. Welcome to the rechristened Ruby Soho, who I've not seen a lot of outside of her extremely limited showcase in WWE, but she has so many friends in the back and in the industry and that's never for nothing, not in wrestling, anyway. Intrigued to see where she fits, and if the women ever get more than a match per show. - Touched on this in the preamble but this was the roughest part of the night for the home viewer, just weird decisions on cutting away from various entrances to show... nothing in particular happening. Also while the commitment to not-kayfabing the countdown clock is... admirable? It makes the pacing hinky. - Almost everyone who got new gear for tonight was looking like the white ranger -- Nyla, Swole, Bunny, someone I'm missing. Except Anna Jay, whose stars and glitter gear looked great.

MJF v Chris Jericho for the fate of Jericho's in-ring career (***) - MJF's unauthorized homage to Y2J's entrance: good. Fozzy's guitarist going off tempo with the instrumental Judas: weak, and would've been sad if this were the end for Jericho. Especially as the build has felt... muted, somehow. - Props to the commentary for continuing to feed the red herring of 'in AEW,' as a caveat to stipulation, it did feel like... a remote possibility that MJF would win. - Credit to Aubrey for calling this one down the middle and not putting the fix in for her friend Jericho, and I guess the Dusty finish will give MJF plenty to gripe about. - MJF wrestles with a pure heel style, holds, chops, blocks, and Jericho is fifty years old, so the level of wrestling on exhibition in these matches is well beside the point. It was solid to good, and I was fighting burn out from the first half of the card's level of excitement.

CM Punk v Darby Allin (***1/2) - There are a couple benefits of Darby as a dance partner, and it's certainly better than having to watch Punk return against like, QT Marshall or Shawn Spears. Darby does make everyone look slow, but he can also be tossed around, and this raises his profile even in defeat, obviously. That said, the stakes here are... meta, at best, in that we want to see the man look good and justify the hype. It's a weird thing to root for. He certainly does look good. (Tights? Tights!) - It's fun to theorize about actually booking an angle where Punk is rusty and needs to regain his prowess, and maybe he'll stumble, but maybe the most we get out of that angle is hitting the GTS a little close to the ropes so Darby falls right out of the ring, in what was, for me, the spot that justified this whole match. - Sting's proud step-dad aura is still a hell of a thing, I really liked the end of the match kudos all around. - Match was good, hard to hang my emotions on. I wasn't watching WWE when Punk was in WWE. Definitely feeding off the excitement of others a bit here, and he sure can talk. I'd like to see him cultivate a stable, certainly.

Paul Wight v QT Marshall (n/r) - ...popcorn match? QT Marshall is like the anti-Daniel Garcia in that while his prominence and presence is just as inexplicable, I don't want it to continue, and he doesn't justify it in the process. - Match was two minutes longer than it needed to be.

Kenny Omega (c) v Christian Cage for the AEW World Championship (****1/2) - Crowd was both burnt out and more or less waiting for the post-match angle. Which I get. it's hard to cruise to the main event and having seen all the different things we've already seen on this card, even a singular performer like Kenny Omega and a legend with whom he (surprisingly? fittingly?) has superb chemistry with in Christian Cage were up against it to deliver something memorable. - Context dependent, I can definitely see rating this below their Rampage match, especially since... I mean Christian isn't winning the AEW title off Kenny at this or probably any other event. - But! It was really good! It was very good! They really do match-up well, and Kenny's v-trigger has rarely looked more devastating than when it knocks Christian flat. Christian got cut open in a novel and initially worrying way, and Kenny followed up a botched moonsault with a harder version of the same move off a rail, but it was a really great match and it deserved more energy than was available.

Post-Show - Calling back and inverting the end of Dynamite, The Elite strut about the ring, slightly less stoked than they were on Wednesday, but with the Bucks smiling through the pain, and Jungle Boy once again subjected to violence for his misguided heroism, Kenny 'not much a promo' Omega lays down a killer line about nobody being fit to challenge him who isn't unavailable, already tired or dead. - The Undertaker ADAM COLE, BAY BAY as Surprise #3 was a minor stroke of brilliance, and a fun swerve because while it's exciting to see him, his appearance at this point in the narrative does nothing to solve the problem of The Elite beating up Christian and Jungle Boy. Unless he's still sore about his unsolved murder, which he isn't. Storytime with Adam Cole is back and it's beautiful. Also Jungle Boy died for this. - Okay. But. Just. Okay. CM Punk and Bryan Danielson are All Elite. They will hopefully tag together. Bryan will head to NJPW, almost definitely. Minoru Suzuki just walked in and started slugging on Mox. The Forbidden Door is wide open. Will Kenny Omega one day return to Wrestle Kingdom? There are so many possibilities and they are all very exciting. This was a phenomenal show and it didn't have Hangman Page, Cody Rhodes, FTR, Santana and Ortiz, PAC, Andrade, Sammy Guevara, Team Taz, and the rest.

- Wrestling is good, actually. Imagine watching like five hours of wrestling and loving wrestling at the end of it.

*What competes- WK11, Dominion 2018, 2019, DoN 2019, 2021.. All-In, probably. Wrestlemania 30. A few Takeovers. Kris Wolf's retirement show...

[superman86to99]

Superman #84 (December 1993)

Superman takes a short Paris vacation! Like, one day short. What's the worst that could happen?

Oh, man.

So, for the past few issues, we've been hearing about children being abducted in Metropolis. Now we see that they're being kept inside a giant toy house by some creepy bald man in Quasimodo clothes who seems to be obsessed with toys -- a "Man of Toys," if you will. Side note: no wonder the children haven't been found... all the articles about them are just gibberish! (See clip below.)

The kidnapper thinks that these kids' parents don't deserve them, and that they're much better off here, in an underground hideout with a man who threatens to starve them if they don't play with him. (And I do mean literally play, with action figures and stuff.) Meanwhile, as these children cry for help, Superman is having the time of his life. While helping move a stranded ship with some huge-ass chains, Superman spots a sunken galleon with a treasure chest inside and fantasizes about keeping the booty...

...before turning it over to the authorities anyway, the big boy scout. Then, he wakes up Lois at 6 AM and tells her they should go to Paris right now, which usually means your significant other is having a mental breakdown, but in this case they can actually do it. And so, after deciding that he deserves to use his powers for fun every once in a while, Superman and Lois drop everything and fly to France with super-speed for the rest of the day/issue.

Anyway: back to the child abduction! Cat Grant and her son Adam attend a Halloween party at Adam's school, but there's a disturbed weirdo in a hideous costume lurking among the crowd. Yes, I'm talking about Jimmy Olsen in his Turtle Boy suit.

Shortly after that, a guy in a dinosaur costume (see, all the creeps are dressed as reptiles) lures Adam out of the party with the promise of "superb video games." What child could resist that? Of course, that turns out to be the kidnapper and Adam ends up in his hideout along with the rest of the missing children and, worst of all, not a single "Lextendo" console.

The kidnapper gets angry at Adam when he refers to the toys at the hideout as "old-fashioned junk" (he was REALLY looking forward to those video games), and even angrier when Adam tries to free the other kids. Adam is brave and puts up a good fight, but...

And those were Adam Morgan's final words. "Uh-oh."

Next, we have a pretty harrowing scene of Detective Turpin letting Cat know Adam’s body was found, and Jimmy and Perry White taking her to the morgue to identify the body (most people probably wouldn't bring their former boss to something like that, but Perry sadly knows more than most about losing a kid). As for Lois and Clark, they were gone so long that the Daily Planet had time to print a headline about the murders. The issue ends when the lovebirds walk into the office smiling like two people who just spent the night fooling around in Paris... only to feel like jackasses when they find out what happened.

To be continued!

Character-Watch:

And that's it for little Adam Morgan who, unlike the also tragically diseased Jerry White, didn't even get any post-death appearances. Adam went from a little kid scared of Superman, to a huge brat, to a character who was approaching likeability as of last week. That's why I hate it when DC kills off young characters like Adam or Liam Harper: in long-form storytelling, children represent potential. Look at how much Wally West or Dick Grayson evolved over the years compared to their mentors! Sure, there's a huge probability that Adam would have ended up disappearing from comics for 25 years anyway, but who knows, maybe we'd now know him as Teen Gangbuster or something. GangbusTEEN.

This issue also represents a turning point for the kidnapper, who is never named or seen clearly in the story itself but I don't think I'm shocking anyone by spoiling the fact that he's Toyman (it's in the cover, for one thing). In his last two appearances before this storyline, Toyman helped Superman save some kids from Sleez and looked genuinely sad to learn about Superman's death, so this is a pretty dramatic change for the character. We'll find out why he went from big softy to child killer in Superman #85 (but don't get your hopes up).

Plotline-Watch:

The most disturbing part of the issue, all things considered, is still the part where Toyman climbs into a giant crib and hugs a huge stuffed bunny. Look at serial killer Tommy Pickles here:

Don Sparrow says:  “Even with the upgrade, Toyman is still just a man in a suit, a common complaint about Superman’s rogues gallery.” Funny you should say that, because I JUST shared an old Wizard interview in our Twitter in which Dan Jurgens talks about how Doomsday came out of his frustration with the fact that most Superman villains are dudes in suits (plus other interesting tidbits from the era, like how it was actually Roger Stern’s idea to bring back Hank Henshaw, so check out that link!).

Don again: “The entire Superman storyline of this issue feels like filler. Diving for buried treasure and soaring off to Paris -- it all feels like wasted time next to the Adam storyline.” I have a theory that the entire ship sequence is there as an excuse to put Superman in those big chains and make that Spawn joke (which I didn’t get until now, since I’ve always read this issue in Spanish).

Superman says that pulling that big ship was "a little easier than expected" -- that's either another hint that there's something going on with Superman's powers since he came back, or a subtle dig at the state of American ship manufacturing.

Another adorable "window tap" scene for the books, and this is the sexiest one so far. Is it me or has Jurgens started copying more than just Teri Hatcher's hairdo from Lois & Clark? (For anyone who thinks Lois has gotten implants, I refer you to this clip.)

While in Paris, Lois asks Clark if he's ever wondered what would happen if his rocket had landed in other countries. Don: “Clark’s conversation with Lois sounds like a bunch of concepts for Elseworlds stories. We eventually would see a Russian Superman, and a British Superman, but not yet the French Superman. (Hire us, DC!)” Yep, got my French Superman pitch ready, Jim Lee. Or just let us do Russian Superman again, since Red Son wasn’t even the first time you published that idea.

Don once more: “Another thing that makes no sense about the ‘new’ Toyman is his resentment of technological toys—when in previous appearances he himself had deadly high-tech toys to vex Superman over the years.” I especially resent his hatred of video game consoles. Incidentally, I wonder what types of games are available for Adam’s beloved Lextendo. Star Lex 64? Mega Man Lex? Sonic the Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles & Lex?

No one is more upset at Lois and Clark for going AWOL than Whit. NO ONE. He's so furious that his usually grey mustache turned black.

Patreon-Watch:

As always, shout out to our patrons, Aaron, Murray Qualie, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Samuel Doran, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush and Raphael Fischer! Last month’s exclusive Patreon article was about the recently unearthed sequel to Superman 64 for the PlayStation, featuring Metallo, Parasite, and Lois looking even hotter than in this issue:

Hot damn. Find out more at https://www.patreon.com/superman86to99!

And believe it or not, Don Sparrow has even more to say about this issue. Read his section after the jump:

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow​):

I should start off my section with a big caveat:  I flat out hate this issue. There were several weird decisions made in the post-Death-and-Return era (most of them along the same lines of making the Superman titles more grim-and-gritty), and this story was one of the worst of them.  My theory is that, despite the praise and record-breaking sales of the Death and Return storyline, the Superman creative team felt pressure to have more extreme storylines, perhaps in response to the wildly successful Image books coming out at the time.  Between this story, and the upcoming “Spilled Blood” storyline, the Super books take a hard—but temporary--turn into more violent and upsetting storytelling—even though these stories are by the same writers as the previous few years. While death has always been a part of comics, and Superman comics was no exception, there is a jarring glibness and unfeeling toward the way violence is handled in these pages that is quite different from the stories that preceded it.  It’s made all the more jarring by the fact that well-established personalities suddenly veer wildly out of character, Toyman chief among them.  

We start with the cover, and while it is technically well-drawn (by the familiar team of Jurgens and Breeding) it’s also a very upsetting visual.  I think they should have gone with the pieta type pose with Adam and Superman, OR the scary badass bowie-knife Toyman (who apparently has a Cheshire cat smile now) but not both.  But the cover is a good hint at the tonal dissonance of the comic within.

We open with a splash of the now-extreme 90s looking Toyman, with his serial killer shaved head and spooky cloak, ignoring the pleas of hungry kids he has locked up in a tiny jail cell for days at a time (if that sentence doesn’t ring alarm bells for how wrong this is for a Superman story, I don’t know what will). For much of the issue Toyman’s eyes are obscured by glare on his lenses, further de-humanizing a character who was once one of Superman’s more empathetic bad guys.

We cut to Superman tugboating a huge tanker with giant chains and it’s a cool visual (one repeated in the Batman V Superman film).  It feels especially out of place to focus on, given how upsetting this issue is otherwise, but throughout the whole comic, Lois is drawn smoking hot, especially on the two page spread on pages 9-10.

The scenes depicting the actual murder, while still wildly out of place in a Superman comic, are well done, and give a real sense of darkness and menace, which I suppose is the intent.  Perhaps my least favourite visual is the Big Bird stuffie, silently bearing witness to what’s about to occur.

The edges of the panels on get more slashy and off-kilter (to me, looking very much like the layouts more typically seen in Image comics of the day) and I suppose I appreciate the restraint of how little Dan Jurgens shows of the death of a child, showing only a bloody slash on a black background.  This is still a pretty baroque image for a Superman comic, but certainly less violent than it could be, given what is happening.

Cat Grant’s silent horror is well staged, and powerful in its way.   Lastly, Clark Kent bending in sorrow and regret is a powerful image.

While this issue is handled marginally better, and more maturely than other comics on the shelf at this time, I still believe it is one of the biggest mistakes of the era.  Giving a long-established character an unceremonious death for shock value is gross on its own, but making it a child definitely crosses a line for me.  Making it worse is that, while the Toyman is a criminal and a killer, he has shown in past issues (a similar kidnapping storyline involving Sleez) that he genuinely cares for the well-being of children.  So for a long-time reader, this also felt like a betrayal of a long-established, fully developed character.   Adding to the ugliness of this is that Adam dies heroically, trying to free the children who have been caged, unfed, for days, but even in that regard, he fails.  The headline at the end of the issue confirms all the children are dead.  Adam’s death did not buy the other kids enough time to get away. It was all for nothing. Had Adam died, but the other children lived, maybe this issue wouldn’t leave quite as bad a taste. [Max: It’s weird because it’s all told in a way where it’s told in a way where it would make sense, narratively and within the story universe, that the other kids survived, but then it’s almost casually revealed that nope, they died too. A scene of one of the kids relaying Adam’s heroism to Cat in a future issue would have gone a long way.]

Superman doesn’t come off well in these pages, either.  It’s honestly the type of story they should just stay away from, because the more you think about all the calamity that is going on around the clock, the less defensible the whole Clark Kent persona becomes. Superman carving out time to romance his fiancée directly led to the preventable deaths of innocent children—how do you come back from that?

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

I’m always looking for hints that perhaps Jimmy or Perry know Superman’s secret identity deep down, and Jimmy’s anger at Lois and Clark on their return to the Daily Planet offices would seem to give that theory some credence, as he’s as angry at them as if he knew Clark really were Superman.  Either that, or he’s ticked that it fell to him, and none of them to escort Cat into the morgue. [Max: Has this issue finally converted you to the “Jimmy is terrible” side now, Don?]

I don’t think I’m the only one who disliked the new Toyman—SPOILERS BE HERE: years later, in Action Comics #865, Geoff Johns retconned this whole story, reverting Schott into the criminal who over-relates to kids, rather than the child-killer of this story.  Apparently the infantile Schott, who speaks to “Mother” a la Norman Bates, is a robot so lifelike it fools even Superman, and the “Mother” he’s constantly replying to was the real Winslow Schott trying to recall the malfunctioning robot. [Max: That’s one Geoff Johns retcon I really didn’t mind, even if it felt kind of derivative of his similar “all the Brainiacs are robots made by the real Brainiac” reveal.]

[muse539]

We Don’t Know What’s Out There

So my friend M is a bad (fantastic) influence, and when I shared an instagram post that was basically a prompt with them, they encouraged me to write it. So, I did. Read it on Ao3!

Summary: While Mike Newton is waiting for the semester to start at his Sacramento college, he finds himself turning to the TV show "Ghost Adventures" to keep himself entertained. He knows it's all fake, of course. At least, he thought he did, until he finds himself looking at a familiar face.

....

“The ghost we’re hunting tonight is Edward Anthony Masen Jr. He was a patient at this Chicago hospital during the Spanish Influenza in 1918, until he vanished without a trace.”

"Is that... Cullen?"

After finally, mercifully, at last leaving Forks in early August, Mike Newton found himself without much to do. His parents had insisted that he move down to Sacramento before the semester started.

That would make sense, except that the semester didn’t start for three weeks, and Mike was bored out of his skull.

So, like anyone might in his situation, he turned to the TV to occupy his time. It was a small thing, but it would get the job done.

Huh, wonder what’s this about, Mike thought, pausing his rapid flipping on five guys in a dark hallway, decked out in night vision equipment. The banner in the bottom of the screen said “Ghost Adventures.”

“Elizabeth, speak to us, ” one of them said, holding out a radio.

Huh. Might as well see what this is about.

---

It was a quiet evening in the Cullen house. Renesmee was visiting Jacob on the reservation, much to Edward’s chagrin.

“If you keep frowning like that, your face might get stuck that way.” Bella used her thumb to smooth out the skin between her husband’s eyebrows before cupping his cheek. Bella didn’t like being away from Renesmee any more than Edward did, she was just better at hiding it.

Edward sighed, leaning into Bella’s hand.

Dude, you’re pathetic.

Edward shot a glare in Emmett’s direction before meeting Bella’s eyes. “It’s hard, her being where we cannot.”

“I know.” Bella sighed. “At least we know Jake would protect her, if anything happened.”

“Hmm.”

---

Man! Who knew a communications class would be so hard! Mike turned away from his homework. Spring semester had been kicking his ass for weeks now.

At least he lived on his own. Mike couldn’t imagine what it would be like, having to share a room the size of a shoebox with another person. Especially since they probably wouldn’t let him watch his favorite show!

“Ghost Adventures” had pretty quickly become Mike’s latest fixation. He’s never missed an episode, a fact he is shamelessly proud of.

From the corner of his desk, his phone buzzed. Jessica, of course.

Mike has been trying to shake her off for months, to no avail. He sighed.

That’s it, that’s enough for today. Mike pushed away from his desk and turned on the TV. Ghost Adventures would be on soon.

---

“Don’t ‘hmm’ at me,” Bella smiled, “use your words.”

“Yeah, Edward, use your words .” Emmett guffawed.

“ That’s it.” Edward started to rise out of his seat, and Emmett happily took a defensive stance.

They launched at each other.

From upstairs, Esme’s voice rang out, “You boys better mind my furniture!”

---

A few miles away, in La Push, Jacob and Renesmee had just gotten back to Billy’s house. The Pack had gone cliff diving, and Renesmee insisted on attending, even if it gave Jacob a heart attack.

“I’m just as durable as you are,” she’s said, in that special way of hers.

“I know, I know. But you’re not even one yet, Nessie!” Nevermind that she was already the size of a 10-year-old at just 9, almost 10, as Nessie enjoyed reminding him, months old. “It’s the principle of the thing!”

Renesmee just pressed her desire into his skin harder. Jacob was powerless.

“Okay, okay!”

And so they’d gone. They had a fantastic time, once Jacob “got over himself,” as Seth has put it.

Now, they were nestled on Billy’s couch, flipping through the channels. Renesmee stopped him on one.

“Oh, Ness, you probably won’t want to watch this. It’s scary.”

There were questions in Nessie’s hands.

“It’s about ghost hunting. Or, at least, that’s what they think they’re doing. We both know ghosts don’t exist, but they play a lot of scary music, and they try to freak you out. Frankly, I think it’s kind of funn-”

“The ghost we’re hunting tonight is Edward Anthony Masen Jr. He was a patient at this Chicago hospital during the Spanish Influenza in 1918, until he vanished without a trace.”

Nessie’s hand pressed insistently to his cheek. “Daddy?”

Jake was in shock. “Uh, yeah. That’s your dad. Hold on-” he reached for his phone.

---

Breaking away from Emmett, Edward picked up his phone when it started to ring, heart sinking when he saw Jacob’s name.

“Jacob? Is everything okay?” Every eye in the room turned to Edward, each vampire holding their breath.

“Turn on Ghost Adventures right now! They’re talking about you!”

Bella had the TV on before Jacob finished speaking.

“ Will Edward be among the spirits we talk to here tonight?”

---

“The ghost we’re hunting tonight is Edward Anthony Masen Jr. He was a patient at this Chicago hospital during the Spanish Influenza in 1918, until he vanished without a trace. His parents, Elizabeth and Edward Masen Sr., were also patients, and their bodies were recovered.”

During Zak’s monologue, a blurry photo of the Masen family was shown. Mike dropped his hot pocket.

“Is that Cullen?”

---

Mike Newton watched the rest of the episode, growing increasingly nauseous with each passing minute.

The guy in the photos, Edward Anthony Masen, looks almost exactly like Edward Cullen. But there’s no way, right? Even if that Edward had survived the Spanish Flu, there’s no way he’d still be alive now. And even if he was , he wouldn’t look like Edward Cullen. He’d be a wrinkly old man!

Yeah, yeah, Mike told himself. There’s no way. That’s crazy though, Cullen is a dead ringer for that guy. Wow.

---

After that night, appearing on ghost shows became a bit of a running joke in the Cullen household. They had a white board set up behind the television, keeping tally. Given how often paranormal TV shows enjoy venturing into abandoned hospitals and psychiatric wards, Edward and Alice had the most marks, with Alice in the lead, to her unending delight.

One of Emmett’s favorite pastimes, whenever one of them appeared on an episode, was to sit in front of the TV shouting “they’re right here, you idiots!” and “boo!”

Renesmee erupts into giggles whenever he does it, so no one has asked him to stop.

---

Mike Newton has yet to move home from Sacramento. He’d visit Forks during school breaks, and stay for most of the summer, but he kept his apartment in Sacramento until he graduated.

Once it was time to move out, however, him never moving home for the summer came back to bite him.

“ How have I accumulated so much crap ?” Mike sighed as he looked over the haphazard piles of things he needed to shove into boxes. His parents would be here in a few hours with a trailer.

Resigned, Mike sighed and grabbed the first box.

He got distracted, naturally. He had found a box with old high school memories, and was laughing at a picture of himself and Bella “playing” volleyball in the yearbook.

Beneath the pile of yearbooks, there was a thick, nicely printed envelope addressed to him.

Huh. What’s this? Mike thought, as he pulled it out.

“This” was a wedding invitation. Bella’s, actually. Mike smiled. He wondered how she was doing, and resolved to check in with her when he got home.

Over the next few minutes, Mike found his eyes repeatedly straying back to the wedding invitation. Something about it was nagging at him, but he didn’t know what.

I mean, I’ve always thought it was weird how people put their full names on their invitations. Michael Welch Newton? No thank you. He shuddered, and his eyes strayed to the invitation once again. Isabella Marie Swan. That has a nicer ring to it, I guess. But Edward’s is a mouthful. Edward Anthony Masen Cu-

Mike paused. Why did that name sound so familiar? He pulled out his phone. This is probably a long shot . He typed Edward’s name into the search bar.

No results for ‘Edward Anthony Masen Cullen,’ two million results for ‘Edward Anthony Masen.’

Mike dropped his phone.

---

The banner stretching across the windows in the back of the house read “Happy Fourth Anniversary!”

Bella clasped her hands together, and silently thanked that she couldn’t blush anymore. “Aw! You guys are so sweet, thank you!”

“And of course, we have gifts!” Alice beamed at the couple, only Jasper’s hand in hers stopping her from bounding across the room to pull her siblings into a hug.

That, after all, was Renesmee’s job.

“Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad!” Ness threw herself into her parents arms. Now almost 4-years-old, Renesmee was the size of a 16-year-old, but had a maturity far beyond her years.

Bella and Edward smiled at their daughter, and simultaneously pressed stone kisses to her flaming cheeks.

Soon after, Jacob’s pack arrived. Over the years, Leah had warmed to the Cullens considerably, though she still scrunched her nose for the first few minutes she was inside. She, Jacob, and Seth each greeted Edward and Bella with a scorching hug.

“Happy anniversary, guys!”

“Thanks, Seth.” Edward smiled while Renesmee went and claimed a couch for her and Jacob.

“Okay, gifts!” Alice flitted around the room. Bella sighed.

Jasper raised an eyebrow, smiling. “You should be proud she lasted this long, Bella.”

Bella laughed. “Yes, heaven forbid Alice learn restraint .”

“ Hey! ”

Bella stuck her tongue out at Alice, Emmett guffawed, Renesmee stifled her laugh in Jacob’s shoulder.

Alice bounced back towards and thrust an envelope into Bella’s hands. She opened the envelope and pulled out 4 plane tickets, round trip, to Ireland.

“Wow, Alice. Thank you, this is too much.” Bella stood and pulled her sister into a hug.

“Well, I wanted to make sure that it was a place that was cloudy enough for you all to go outside during the day, and also spoke English. As fantastic as your German is, Bella, I’m not sure how long you could survive.”

Bella playfully snarled at Alice; Alice cheerfully stuck out her tongue in response.

“I’m just glad you’re getting out of the country so we’re no longer in the blast radius of your hot, passionate -”

“Emmett!” Bella shot a glare in his direction before glancing at Renesmee.

Then, there was a knock at the door.

---

Mike Newton was only staying on the Cullen’s front porch out of sheer force of will. Hell, he was only standing out of sheer force of will. He’d barely slept the last few days, hell, months . Mike had become obsessed, reading everything he could about Edward Anthony Masen, which wasn’t much, and then about the Cullen family--which was somehow even fewer. No social media, no public marriage licenses. He’d found just enough to suggest they existed, not much more. He was no private investigator, but it still rubbed Mike the wrong way.

Dr. Cullen opened the door. “Mr. Newton! What brings you here? Are you alright?”

Mike tried not to throw up. “Yeah, uh, hi! Dr. Cullen. I, uh, well, here’s the thing,” he took a deep breath. “This is probably going to sound ridiculous. I think I’ve actually gone insane, lost it, like my gran. Ha ha! Yeah, uh.”

WIth each word, Dr. Cullen looked more and more concerned. Over his shoulder, Mike could see a ‘Happy Anniversary’ sign.

“So, um, if you could just confirm something for me real fast, that would be great. Spectacular really.”

“Of course, what do you need, Mike?”

The words rushed out of him. “If you could just tell me that Edward is not actually a ghost that somehow has a physical body that would be great.”

The man himself walked into Mike’s field of vision. “Ah, you saw the ‘Ghost Adventures’ episode too, did you? It’s amazing, how much we look alike. Edward Anthony Masen is a cousin of mine, on my biological father’s side.”

Mike blinked dumbly. “Oh. Huh. That, uh, makes a lot of sense. Huh. Okay. Um, thanks, I guess.”

“Of course.”

Smiling, Dr. Cullen closed the door.

---

“What the fuck was that ,” Jacob asked.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. “It seems, rather annoyingly, that Mike Newton is more clever than I gave him credit for.”

“This is dangerous, Edward,” Carlisle looked nervous. “These shows, and their digging into the past… people that have seen us are starting to recognize us.”

“Surely there is something we can do?” Esme placed a calming hand on Carlisle’s arm.

“You just saw it,” Alice chirped. “Play it off like we’re our own long-lost relatives. We’ve all seen it before; humans want to accept the most reasonable explanation.”

They lapsed into silence, lost in thoughts.

“Edward may want to lose the middle names, though,” Rosalie drolled.

“Yeah,” Leah scoffed. “Probably.” Renesmee laughed.

The tension broke, and their day resumed.

“So,” Jacob swung a fist and bumped Bella’s arm. “When do you want to go to Ireland, bestie?”

Bella groaned.

[marshmallowdonutsprinkles]

Guide to buying Pokémon Center JP merch

Hey guys,

So after getting an ask from an anon this morning, I decided to rush a guide to buying the trainer merch that released yesterday (or technically the 24th if you have a means to buy from the Japan-exclusive Pokémon Center’s online store), just in case there are others who don’t know what to do or where to go. Some of y’all have favs in this merchandise line called Pokémon Trainers 2 (Pokémon Trainers originally came out ~July 2019). Pokémon Trainers 2 contains merchandise of Leon, Raihan, Piers, Gloria (SWSH female protag, sorry Victor), Bea, Nessa, Erika, Serena, May, and some dudes from the subway? No idea who those are as the only gens I’ve played were 4 and 6-8. 

Merchandise includes (but is not limited to) pins, keychains, shirts, sketchbooks, plushies, phone cases (iPhone only, rip us android users), switch cases (rip switch lite users), towels, etc. So if you want to try and get something from the Japanese Pokémon center and have no way to do it, hopefully this can help you :) so you don’t overspend like I did 

TL;DR: It’s Amazon Japan and proxy services. Amazon Japan is more reliable (and cheaper) because you don’t have to pay for service fees and for someone to buy your item, and then turn around to pay international shipping like a proxy service. Amazon Japan is one payment and ships pretty fast. The only downside I would say is that by the time items appear on Amazon Japan, they’re being sold out in other places, like Pokémon center running out of preorders within hours of the merch release date (the site literally crashed for about 2 hours on the 24th. I’m blaming it on the fact they dropped Leon and Raihan merch the same day).

If your item can be bought on Amazon Japan and you don’t mind waiting, use Amazon Japan. If your item cannot be bought on Amazon Japan (explanation below) and/or you don’t want to wait Amazon Japan to have it up just to have it sold out within a day, use a proxy you’ve researched and know is reliable and ships to your country.

I first bought merchandise from the Japanese Pokémon center last year, when they released Leon’s cape as a blanket (it’s super soft btw). The Japanese Pokémon Center does not ship internationally, which is annoying to every person with a non-Japanese address. Luckily, there are pretty much two ways around it that can prevent you from booking a flight to Japan to get one (1) item. 

1. Amazon Japan

Amazon.co.jp is just that-Japanese Amazon. Japanese Pokémon Centers have their own section on Amazon Japan called the Pokémon Store (ポケモンストア ). My Japanese is basic at best, but with google translate and a little background knowledge, I can maneuver as much as I need to. I would put a link to it right here, but because tumblr eats post that have links in text, it would make this post meaningless. Therefore, I’ll just show you the search method

A. Type in amazon.co.jp Pokémon center into google search, This should pop up:

B. If this comes up, click on the second link titled “Amazon.co.jp: Pokémon Store: Toys & Games” as that’s where you want to go. Once there, you’ll be greeted by a bunch of Japanese text, which will either be a blessing or a nightmare

C. When you are on this page, click on the link titled “ポケモンセンターオリジナル” (translation: Pokémon center original). This basically takes you to the page that has items exclusive to Japanese Pokémon centers. As someone not fluent in Japanese, this is really the only link I need the worry about on Amazon Japan.

You’ll then be greeted by the merchandise available for sale:

As I am typing this, some items are already sold out. Plushies for Leon, Raihan, Piers, are gone (of course you are). In fact, some items are even straight up missing from Amazon Japan. Let’s say the item you want is sold out on Amazon Japan or, like the anon I answered earlier, the item you want isn’t here. Then what? TBH, your only choice is eBay or the Pokémon center online (which is all in Japanese. Godspeed)

If your item isn’t here, the search gets a bit tricky, but it doesn’t mean hope is lost (yet).

I don’t know how often Pokémon does this, but for some items on their online site, they have a message at the bottom. Let’s look at Leon’s plushie for example:

If you check the black box, it pretty much says “due to popular demand, we are accepting more preorders!”. JP Pokémon Center Online had preorders open the September 24 at 10AM JST, so you could’ve preordered your items before Amazon Japan put them up on the 26th JST. This time, they are accepting more preorders for specific items until: 1) they run out of stock (again) or 2) October 11, 2020 11:59 JST hits. Whichever comes first. Unfortunately though, because this is stock #2 for Japan’s Pokémon Center, your items won’t be shipping until February 2021. If you were lucky to get your item in stock 1 or Amazon Japan, that ships October 3 2020.

2021年2月 is February 2021. If you’re forgetful like me, it’ll be hilarious when you wake up ~5 months later after preordering and you get a random package you forgot you paid for😂.

So you’ve found another chance to get your item, but Pokémon Center doesn’t ship outside of Japan. You live in Not Japan. Now what?

2. Proxy service

Proxy services are..services (:P) that can either preorder the item for you, or physically go to the Pokémon center stores located across Japan to buy the item for you. They then ship it to your house. Japanese proxy services are able to do this because they are simply located in Japan, allowing them to have a Japanese address to place preorders or head to the stores themselves. Unsurprisingly, they are more expensive than just using Amazon because you have to pay someone to do this for you. TBH, expect to pay at least 2X the price of the item you want when using a proxy. (For example, Leon’s plush is 2200 yen which is equivalent to 20.83 USD as of 2020. I paid around 52 USD for mine, including international shipping. Now imagine buying for 2 people. Yeah.)

Let’s use anon’s desired item for an example of using proxy. The anon who sent me an ask today wanted the buttons/pins, which are these(I think lmao)

Like all things business, there is a catch.

Lucky for anon, Pokémon center is (currently) taking more preorders for this item (black box) up until October 11 JST, or until they run out of stock again. Unfortunately, these items will now ship in February of next year (dark blue box). However, there is one thing you really need to look at for:

The fine print.

It’s bad enough if you can’t read Japanese, but Japanese fine print? Even worse. Thankfully, all you need is google translate for that.

Some items being sold in this merchandise have a fine print. They have a limit as to how many you can buy, or, in some cases, you can’t get a specific design. I’ve noticed this with the T-shirts, keychains, and buttons (although it’s listed as Can badges rather than buttons). 

F-in-the-chat-for-fine-print message #1: 1 item per person:

F-in-the-chat-for-fine-print message #2: You cannot pick the design (in other words, if you buy this item, you get a random design/character):

It sucks for us, but from a business perspective, they most likely acknowledge the fact that everyone and their mom is going to buy a Leon/Raihan/Piers/Nessa/Bea T-shirt/keychain/badge vs. an Erika/Serena/May T-shirt/keychain/badge and as a result they’ll have a lot of left over items that have little to no demand. They sense a heavy bias, so they put down this limit that you can’t pick the design and it’s only random. In the case of the buttons/can badge, you either have the option of buying all 19 badges (which is why it’s priced at 6270 yen which is ~60USD) or you buy a single, random button/badge for 330 yen (3USD). Although I just checked, and those items are sold out with currently no chance of restocking. So anon, if you’re reading this far, it’s either you buy the entire package of 19 badges (and resell the rest) or you have to try your luck on eBay.

In the event your item isn’t sold out but is not on Amazon Japan, you want your proxy service. I only started using a couple for this merchandise only, as I was buying merch for 2 people and Pokémon center has a strict limit of 1 per person. Plus, items I wanted weren’t even on Amazon Japan. I have some proxy service ideas below:

A. White Rabbit Express. This is my first time using them. They managed to get my items, but because they were late in preordering, one item is coming this year, and another coming next year. This means I now have to pay international shipping twice since the items are too far apart in ship dates to put in one package to be shipped internationally. Hooray. Salt aside, their service fees are a bit expensive (12% of the price of your order) but they do their job, I suppose. They work M-F 10AM-7PM JST, so the time difference made it harder for me to communicate with them (we’re 13 hours apart). They do respond relatively quick though, and always update you on the current situation. They have cheap shipping options...which are not being used in some countries due to COVID-19. Because I live in the US, a lot of shipping businesses are not shipping to the United States. Therefore I’m stuck with spending 20-30USD on international shipping alone instead of the usual 6-10USD. Reviews say they are trustworthy, and I currently believe they are, albeit a bit slow when it comes to preordering a limited item. On the bright side, they allow refunds as long as they didn’t pay for the item yet. Make sure to read their FAQ. 

B. Zenmarket. Reviews say they are good. I haven’t use them so I don’t have personal experience. They have a flat service fee of 300 yen which is super cheap. They take forever to tell you how much an item costs so you can pay for it, though. A scary moment if the item you're looking for is limited and highly sought after. Again, COVID-19 knocked out some shipping services so always double check what services are shipping to your country despite the pandemic.

C. Sunyshore Store. A service specifically catered the Pokémon items. Their prices are expensive, and they said it was due to the high demand, which I just think is a bit..eh😒 I avoided them once I saw I would have to spend about 70 USD for a plush that’s not even that big. If I’m spending 70 dollars for a Leon plush, it might as well be the real Leon, tf.

D. Meccha Japan. They have a 5% off coupon (PKJ5) if you spend a certain amount (I think it’s 50 USD?) but I’m not sure. Prices are okay as it includes international shipping. They are currently out of stock for some Pokemon Trainers merch such as Leon and Raihan plushies, but they plan to restock in October 3-10. My only peeve is that their restocking period is like 3AM EST lol.

E. Hello Japan. hellojapan.shop is their website. I bought my Leon plush off of here literally the day before Amazon Japan had it, so I spent more money that I should’ve. Prices listed don’t include shipping, but that might depend on where you are in the world. They have a cancellation fee of 30% which is quite high, so I decided to take my L and not cancel my purchase to buy it on Amazon Japan. There is nowhere listed on their site what their office hours are. Their only form of contact seems to be just email.

F. Others. While checking around the internet I ran into other proxy services such as FromJapan, tenso.com, buyee.jp and remambo that help in buying things off the pokemon center. I didn’t look into them so I don’t have anything to say about them, other than buyee,jp has a million and one fees, and remambo at least allows you to cancel orders (before they buy them obviously)

G. Ebay. Ebay sucks due to the fact that resellers are shooting up the prices for these items. I literally saw a Leon plush being sold for 180 USD a couple days ago. I’d have to be out of my mind to buy any toy for that much money. If you shift through the overpriced resellers though, there are a couple decent ones. When you make an ebay account, you can message the seller and ask questions about the product before making your decision.

That’s pretty much it! There may be better, more informative guides on google if you search a bit but if this guide helps at least 1 person, I’d be totally content with that. Good luck with merchandise hunting! If you have questions you can reply to this post, message me on anon, or just shoot me a dm.

[hellishvu]

Imagine BTS (maknae line): when they are inexperienced with luv

— this SHIT IS SO CUTE, TELL ME WHY IM CRYING but while i have a massive breakdown i also wanted to kinda experiment with texts/media in my imagines because they are rlly rlly fun to make!! also there is one sex joke in this, obviously it’s not meant to be taken serious just for a giggle.

Park Jimin: ˚✧₊⁎

Jimin had a mission, he bought the empty scrapbook and the obnoxious amount of crafting paper full of floral prints and poke a dots. The amount of glue on his hands when you two had a first, it was... uh annoying but the final product was always worth it.

Like that one time you two went on a date, for the first time. He pulled out his old dusty Polaroid camera that he bought on instinct. You squeezed his hand walking down the streets of his hometown. Pointing out things you’ve never knew were there, while Jimin took photos of you pointing them out seeing your bright smile. That page was filled of purple themes and the receipts of the snacks you two bought together.

Or like that one time when you kissed him on the side of the beach that you drove hours just to get to. Jimin dropped his camera when you pulled him close to you pressing your lips against his, slowly closing his eyes before wrapping his arms around you letting just one tear spill from his eyes. The page was filled of sea shells he got from the beach, the photos of the ocean waves and you posing with him as you took the photo.

There was a time when you made him a playlist of songs that reminded you of him, and dear god he cherished that playlist like it was the only playlist that existed in the world. The small giggles and the flustered Jimin as he heard lyrics. Since there wasn’t room on the page to fit in all the songs, he picked his favorite songs and the lyric that made his stomach fill with butterflies.

This scrapbook was a one time thing, he simply can’t imagine doing it for anyone else. You were his first and maybe this was creepy he thought. Just recording all of the memories together, maybe you thought he couldn’t live in the moment that he always had to record but that ended quickly when you sent him a video edit of you recording him. Jimin tears up when he recognized the song instantly, the one being on the playlist.

The videos were filled of kisses, whining from Jimin, him kissing your cheek, full of mukbang moments of him shoving his mouth before blushing when he saw you recording, and when you caught Jimin looking around vulnerable was the word to describe what he looked like. It was almost a month since you two started dating but there was already so many first’s.

Of course there were first’s that were a bit scary, like going to his concert for the first time. Holy shit the amount of people and you got special tickets to the front of the stage. Seeing so many people cheer on your boyfriend and the members, I mean he told you he was famous but not worldwide! The adventure of just buying a lightstick that Jimin said was important to get, so waiting in line for 3 hours to get a lightstick was just the beginning.

Of course Jimin said he would pay for everything you just needed to say the special word to the cashier and they will bill it to him. Of course you bought... all the available Jimin merch possible just to show your support to him.

After the concert you waited till you got escorted to the back of the stage seeing Jimin sweating, you gave him your water bottle seeing he needed it way more than you did. You pulled him into a hug being the most proud boyfriend in the entire universe. All of the members could see just by the little interactions that you two were made for each other. 

“Scrap booking will have to wait for tomorrow or the next few days till I can feel my legs again.” Jimin chuckled seeing your little Jimin fan and Jimin poster peeking out of your clear bag. Jimin widen his eyes seeing the legendary scrapbook in your bag, disguising it with a blanket.

“Thought you might want to take this with you while on tour.” You smiled giving it to him seeing him frown already missing you even though he hasn’t left.

Kim Taehyung: ˚✧₊⁎

Taehyung got the courage from many of his members to ask you out. He pulled you away for a second while you were on a break at work. You questioned what he was doing here because he hadn’t talked to you since forever.

The reason for the distance was because one night while you two were out, drinks were being shared and intoxication was a main part of the event. Next thing Taehyung knows he woke up next to you in shock. Taehyung did like you like... a lot but this wasn’t the way he wanted to confess to you while he vomited his guts out on the toilet seat. So he left and he thought you two ever being a couple was history now. Distancing himself even though all of his members told him to just talk to you but he ignored their advice till he saw you with another guy. In reality you two were just friends but Taehyung’s head was like a ping pong machines with the possibility of you and that guy.

“Taehyung what are you doing here?” You asked still having your cheesy work uniform. You could see the nervousness on his entire face and body posture. “Here we can go in the back if you want.” You pulling him behind your workplace to get some privacy. Taehyung paced around you making you dizzy trying to keep up with him.

“Okay, uh- You’re gorgeous. No. Wait I mean you are but that’s not what i’m trying to say.” Taehyung sighs covering his eyes feeling the heat rise up.

“I like you! I want to do all those couple things, I want to kiss you, I want to hug you all the time, and I want you to be my boyfriend.” Taehyung quickly releases all his built up feelings.

“Yeah I want that too.”

“And I know that like I left you on seen in life when we hooked u- Wait you feel the same?” Taehyung jumped up his poor heart bouncing all around.

“Yes, I’ve liked you since you brought me to your concert. I want to be your boyfriend.” Taehyung gasps out, remembering how long ago that was. You two were like jumping through hurdles, trying to see who would confess first.

“I can get someone to cover my shift if you want to go out and get some ramen.” You smiled. Taehyung nodding, you left to tell your boss while Taehyung was spamming the group chat of how he has a boyfriend finally.

“Well I got an okay! Let’s go even though I smell like smoothies and organic fruits.” You chuckled queuing for Taehyung to walk with you to your car.

You two walked in but before that you had to adjust your outfit and your hair wanting to look nicer for Taehyung since this is the first date. You and Taehyung sat a booth looking at each other. To strangers you two already looked like a couple for years rather than minutes. The waiter came around snapping both of you two out of luv world.

“Yes, I would like to order pho and for my boyfriend he would like ramen.” Taehyung said eyeing you, seeing your massive grin. You could get used to being showed off, maybe Taehyung already was the one, it felt like it in your soul.

Jeon Jungkook: ˚✧₊⁎

Jungkook finally got time in his schedule to have a sleepover at your house, Jungkook would love if you could meet the members but he felt that it was too early for you to meet them. He didn’t want to overwhelm you with meeting so many important people in his life. You were excited to have your very first sleepover with him, to be able to see him in a more vulnerable state was all you could think about.

The way you thought about him sleeping next to you, feeling his heartbeat when you pull him closer just so you can feel his body next to yours. You were his first boyfriend, just asking him out was an adventure itself because Jungkook spent much of his time conflicting with himself when he said yes then no... then back to yes. It was scary for Jungkook as dating anyone in general of gender he always questioned what would happen? I think he thought his sweaty hands, stuttering sentences, and blushing moments were just because he thought he wasn’t comfortable with you but that theory was shut down quickly because he knew he that was wrong.

Jungkook knocked on the door but you knew that someday Jungkook would just enter as he pleases being completely comfortable with you. You walked to the peephole to see Jungkook with his pajamas already on, but he hide himself with a black hoodie that was probably two size larger than regular. Seeing a massive army bag behind him that was the size of him.

You unlocked the door opening it to see Jungkook looking around before he noticed that you opened the door. Jungkook smiles widely walking in, giving you a hug. You had trouble hugging him back due to his bag that looked like he filled it with his entire house.

“What do you have in there Kook?” You asked making Jungkook look at the bag before setting it down on the ground, sitting on one of your armchairs basically opening the pandora’s box which would be his backpack.

“So I brought many things such as movies, clothes, snacks, and board games.” Jungkook pulling out each item showing it off before setting it down on the coffee table.

You had netflix but you didn’t tell him since he brought such a wide collection of anime love movies to horror movies. You smiled seeing the many changes of clothes wondering if he was going to spend more than one night with you.

“Wait board games?”

“Yeah! Like Jenga, Twister, and Life! I also brought pillows, blankets, and condoms-” You choked on the glass of water that you were drinking when Jungkook had mentioned the last part. Jungkook looked up in concern seeing you in a coughing fit.

“Condoms- Jungkook we- We’ve been dating for 2 weeks-” You said in between the coughs. Jungkook looking up wondering if this a thing couples do. Maybe you were his first romantic interest ever. I mean he told you, you are his first boyfriend but you never thought his first first romantic relationship.

“Yeah but I didn’t know when that comes to play.” Jungkook explained pulling out more boxes of condoms making your face heat up, trying to cover them. You felt exposed even though no one was in the room besides you two.

“Okay Kook, we aren’t going to do that tonight. You will know when the time is right, but just because we both are guys doesn’t mean we are going to go at like rabbits every second.” You explained to him holding his hand, you saw that he also heated up realizing that maybe he was jumping the gun with that. I mean he wasn’t forcing the intimate moment onto you he was just purely confused and you could tell just by his face. Jungkook learned that he was fine with kissing and holding hands, that is all he needed in his life. 

“Also why is there 6 boxes of them?!”

[brittle-bone-gabe]

The Forgotten: Chapter One: Act One

Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen, Chapter Fifteen, Chapter Sixteen, Chapter Seventeen, Chapter Eighteen, Chapter Nineteen, Chapter Twenty, Epilogue

Summary: Barry Berkman couldn't remember much of his childhood; he knew he used to live in Derry, Maine, but that was about it, besides being taken by his "Uncle Fuches" at age 16 to move to Cleveland, Ohio. Eddie Kaspbrak moved from Derry, Maine to LA, becoming a police officer, surprisingly enough. Normally things were quiet for the most part, besides the occasional drug busts, but it's when someone named Barry Block enters his line of sight as a possible suspect for the recent string of murders he has to push the feeling of remembrance to investigate.     Pairing: Adult Reddie  (Richie x Eddie) Or, technically, Barry x Eddie Read on AO3: Here Word Count: 2665

It was a Monday afternoon when LAPD Officer, Eddie Kaspbrak, was sitting at his desk in the precinct, bored out of his mind. Yeah, he loved his job here in LA, it was certainly a different area than Derry, Maine, his hometown, but it grew on him quickly. The normal quiet life he had in Maine that he left when he was twenty-one-years-old was replaced with heavy traffic, an amount of homicides like you wouldn't believe, and for some reason your shoes were always sticky the moment you step out of your house. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss his friends back at home, the Losers Club. It had been years since they’ve seen each other, either everyone was too busy or Eddie couldn’t get ahold of anyone, so it wasn’t like he wasn’t trying. Well, the five that were left, nobody had any idea what happened to Richie; one day he just… disappeared without saying anything. Maybe that was the true reason Eddie wanted to be a cop; he wanted to help people, he wanted to help find people who were missing, and he was damn good at his job. 

Eddie jumped in surprise out of his thoughts  when the phone on his desk started to ring. Normally that phone didn’t go off unless there was an emergency, or someone wasn’t available… or if nobody wanted to work in general. A sudden burst of anxiety plunged its way into Eddie’s chest as he reached out to grab the phone. Normally he didn’t have any issues answering the phone, but this phone was scary for obvious reasons. 

“LAPD, this is Kaspbrak,” he answered, fidgeting with the pen that was sitting on his desk. He called it his fidget pen because he didn’t actually use it to write anything. Detective Mae had given it to him so he would stop drumming on the desk with his fingers when he became anxious.  

“Officer Kaspbrak, there were reports of gunshots at 9913 Cambridge rd. There are no available officers at the moment, are you able to check it out?” Dispatch had asked him. 

Eddie narrowed his eyes. “Is it that there aren’t any available officers, or they don’t want to do it?” He finally asked. 

There was a silence on the other end of the line. “Okay, but hear them out.” Eddie snorted. “So you know how the reptile show is in town?”

“I got it, I got it, I got it,” Eddie said quickly, “I’ll go check it out.” 

When Eddie hung up the phone he looked at the blurry picture from the lipstick cam that Detective Janice Moss clung to as if her life depended on it. Eddie had tacked it next to his computer at his cubicle, he always used it as a reference point whenever there were reports of gunshot or murder since he knew that this guy is still out there somewhere going on a killing spree. It wasn’t fair the woman who trained him, making him a better officer and pushing him out of his shell, was murdered for what seemed like no reason. Eddie felt as though he owed it to Janice to catch this bastard; then the case would finally be put to rest and hopefully the other shit going on around here would stop.  He would be a liar if he said he didn’t try everything he could to try to enhance the image to at least make out the face, or at least some of the features.

God, first they lost Janice then they lost Detective John Loach, which, in all fairness, was something about him and the guy that stole his wife? Eddie still wasn’t sure on those details, something about them being in a supermarket and the two men ended up killing each other. He knew that Loach had been torn up over his wife, since Eddie was the one who had to sit through all the many boring stories about how he bought a… what was it? A Quinceañera shop for his wife? Even after that she left him for another man and divorced him. It was a wild ride of a story, and in all honesty Eddie couldn’t keep up with the details of it all. He just remembered a few days before Loach got killed he was very secretive, jumpy, and acting out of it more than usual; so it had to have been a planned thing, right? Well, at least they knew what happened to Loach, they still had no clue where Janice was or what happened.

Eddie got on his old Dell computer, printing out a copy of the lipstick cam picture, he didn’t like taking the one he had pinned up as that was Janice’s personal copy and he felt as though that was the only thing he had left of her. Yeah, he understood there was no fuckin’ face on the damn thing, but he did remember Janice telling him that he would reconize the person in the picture if they were standing in front of him. Eddie slapped the printer after his computer gave him an error saying Printer Not Found. Which was bullshit… Eddie was looking right at the printer! It was right there! He was grumbling to himself as he made sure all the cords were plugged in properly before trying again, finally printing… slowly…. 

He rubbed his face, hunched over his desk while waiting for the picture to print while mumbling to himself, obviously lost in thought. Mumbling about how he was going to catch this son of a bitch, that he would get the info of where Janice was at (hopefully still alive), and that this whole thing would finally be over. Eddie was telling himself this, but he noted how unconfident he sounded, which made him sigh heavily. 

“What’cha doin’?” Detective Mae asked loudly when standing outside Eddie’s cubicle. 

Eddie jumped, whipping around to see the brown haired woman looking at him with a smile on her face. She always did that. Whenever he was thinking aloud or trying to get something done, she was always there. It was almost on cue. Every. Single. Time. 

“Oh, I’m…” Eddie trailed off, picking up the picture from his printer, “on my way to investigate some reported gunshots.” 

“Mhm...” Detective Mae trailed off, taking the picture from Eddie’s hands, “Kaspbrak, why do you always think this guy is involved?” She asked, holding the picture up to him. 

Eddie bit his lip, thinking of a good answer. Because he didn’t want to let this go? Because he wanted to find out what happened to Janice? Because he wanted to make sure that nobody else gets hurt because of this asshole?  

“I just think he’s involved,” Eddie finally answered, avoiding eye contact as he took the picture back from the detective. 

“The case has been closed, Kaspbrak. You know that, right?” 

“Wrongfully closed,” he snapped on accident, looking up at Detective Mae who looked confused at his sudden aggressiveness. Totally out of character for Eddie. “I’m sorry, I… I gotta go.” 

He tried squeezing past her, but she managed to grab his arm before he could get too far. 

“Do you need any help?”  

Eddie’s eyes went wide, avoiding eye contact with her. She always tried to make some kind of physical contact with him somehow. It always made him uncomfortable, something about… someone else touching him with their dirty hands made him sick. 

“Uh, no…” he said, rolling his arm so she’d let go, “no, I think I got this under control.” 

He finally moved past her, going outside to where his police cruiser was sitting. He had inherited Janice’s old cruiser after his got destroyed in an accident. Eddie made sure that it was always in perfect condition; went through the car wash once a week, no trash, no scratches, no nothing. He remembered when he first joined the force, Janice made it a point to show off how her cruiser was the one in the best shape and she intended to keep it that way. 

Eddie missed his best friend. 

                                                          -----

The sun blinded Barry Berkman for a good few seconds the moment he stepped outside the house he had just broken into via the sliding glass door. First accomplishment: he killed the guy he was ordered to by Fuches. Now… he had to figure out how the hell he was going to escape. The wired fence was way too high for Barry to climb, there weren’t any fencing around the sides of the house, but he didn’t want to risk that way since the guy fired a couple of rounds and the police were surely on their way now. 

There was blood all over the front of Barry’s black hoodie, thankfully none of it was his; he had his hood pulled up just in case. A small itch landed on Barry’s face, when he reached up to scratch it he could feel his fingertips were now wet; great, he had this assholes blood on his face too. Nice. Totally nice. 

Barry peered around the corner of the house, debating if he wanted to take the chance of trying to escape through the front of the house and cut through the neighbors yard. It could theoretically work as long as nobody saw him. Barry was hyping himself up to do exactly that… until a police cruiser pulled up to the scene with its lights flashing.  Well, fuck. Barry backed off a little, but still being able to see the police officer walk around behind his car, his pistol in his hands as he walked up to the front door of the house. 

Breathing heavily, Barry pressed his back against the house siding, not sure what to do now. Were more officers coming? Were there more than that one officer in the police cruiser? Now that the red, white, and blue lights were flashing it would surely attract some attention to what was happening. Letting out the breath he was holding, Barry took out the ski mask that he was holding in his hoodie pocket, putting it over his head before dropping the hood. 

When he turned back around to the sliding glass door, Barry noticed that there was a security camera pointed down at him, the red light blinking, indication that it was, in fact, recording. Fuck. He didn’t see that there earlier. Fuches didn’t tell him that this asshole had cameras around his house. Barry glanced inside the house, not seeing the police officer in his sights. Perfect. He pulled out his pistol with a suppressor, shooting it down. 

Barry’s heart started to pound against his chest, normally he wasn’t so anxious during these jobs, but he didn’t want to have to kill another cop. That just wasn’t his thing to do. They were just doing their jobs, like he was doing his. He took a deep breath as he silently opened the sliding door. You will not kill another cop. You will not kill another cop. You will- He kept thinking to himself over and over as he was crouched down, moving over to the wall in the kitchen that held the staircase, pressing his back up against it, making sure his breathing was steady. He peeked around the corner of the small wall he was hiding behind to see the cop, his arms were crossed holding his pistol in one hand with a flashlight in the other so he could navigate this dark house. 

“LAPD!” The officer had called throughout the house, causing Barry to worry that he may have seen him. 

The officer slowly backed out of the kitchen, not seeing anything and moved to the living room that was on the opposite side of the staircase. The footsteps that were once so heavy and close were now starting to slowly fade away, as the officer was checking every single corner of the living room. The only thing Kaspbrak could find were traces of blood and an obvious sign of a struggle. Although, he couldn’t find the body anywhere, he even checked the living rooms closet, where he would’ve assumed someone would put a body, but it was only filled with coats and shoes.

Taking a silent, yet deep breath, Barry moved out from his spot behind the wall. He was still crouched as he moved towards the front door, stopping every so often to listen for any footsteps. From what he could tell the officer was still in the living room and therefore should be free to escape without any hassle. Just in case, Barry peeked through the railing into the living room, the officer had his back to him as he was looking behind furniture now. Great, this was perfect. With the door still slightly opened still it would be easy for Barry to slip out.

The absolute second Barry was about to reach the door he accidentally stepped on an old, creaky floorboard. Barry’s eyes went wide as he whipped his head around to see the officer looking at him, his gun pointed at him. 

“Stand up! Put your hands up!” The officer yelled, walking over to Barry with the gun still pointed at him. 

Now seeing the officers face up close sent Barry into a slight state of confusion. Did he know him from somewhere? Maybe he just had one of those faces that looked familiar to everyone, but that reasoning didn’t set right with Barry. No, he’s seen him before, he just couldn’t place where. Barry glanced at the man's uniform, on the left side it was printed as: E. Kaspbrak. 

Barry slowly stood up, taller than the officer with his hands raised like he was told to do. 

“Take off the mask,” Officer Kaspbrak told him in a somewhat calm tone. 

“Look, man, this is a huge-”

“Take it off!” Officer Kaspbrak shouted, indicating that he was ready to shoot him. 

With a sigh, Barry began to reach up with his left hand, acting as if he was going to remove the ski mask, but he knew he couldn’t do that. Not while he was trying to turn his life around. Not while he knew that this was going to be the last ever job that he was going to do for Fuches. He had a life now, he had friends, he had a purpose. He wasn’t going to let it get ripped away from him so easily. 

While Officer Kaspbrak was distracted on seeing the mans face, he didn’t even notice Barry’s right hand going for the gun he still had on him. He quickly reached for it, even before Officer Kaspbrak could react, he pointed the gun down to the floor, shooting the officer in the foot. 

Eddie let out a scream, dropping his own gun before collapsing to the floor, holding his foot. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, man, I really am,” Barry kept apologizing, kicking Officer Kaspbrak’s gun across the room so he couldn’t shoot him while his back was turned. “I did it so I didn’t have to hurt you… worse… than that,” he added quickly, his hand on the doorknob. “Put… put some ice on that, you’ll be fine,” he said before leaving the house, closing the door behind him. 

Groaning, Eddie grabbed his radio. “It’s Officer Kaspbrak, I’ve been fuckin’ shot. Suspect is about 6-”

There was a sound of static on the other end of the radio before another man spoke. “Uhh, Kaspbrak? Is this important because the guys and I are in the middle of holding a turtle at the reptile show-”

“I got fuckin’ shot, you assholes!” 

He dropped the radio, staring up at the ceiling, feeling the blood coming from his foot fill his sock and shoe. It felt like the world was spinning at an unreasonable speed, causing Eddie to throw up from the shock of it all. It wasn’t long before he closed his eyes, passing out.

[storiesundercandlelight]

Loving Loki - Three

Why was it that when you knew you had a day off tomorrow time seemed to slow down just to torture you? 

My coffee steamed up my glasses slightly as I rested my chin on my hand, eyes glaring at my screen in front of me. I had put these damn details in three times now and the system still wasn’t excepting it. My eyes had started to twitch at the thought of having to tape it all out a fourth time.

“Don’t fuck with me computer I swear I will poor my coffee right into your hard drive”

“You’d never waste the coffee” I turned my head to a smirking David, he seemed in better form lately, one of the girls had been found and was being treated in hospital, he wasn’t badly injured they just wanted to run some test to be on the safe side. 

“Yeah well for this asshole I might consider it” I turned back to the screen, miserably pouting as I watch the loading circle spin for the millionth time today. “So you’re leaving early?”

“Looks like it, there’s not much else I can do now. Leads have dried back up regarding the girl who’s still missing but their gonna send one of the female detective down to ask her some questions when she’s feeling better”

“You too scary to send?” 

“Apparently so” He smiled and looked at the screen, I could see the pity on his face as he looked at the error message that had popped up. “You have my permission to pour your coffee on it”

“Thank God I thought you’d never let me do it” 

“You have a day off tomorrow right?”

“Sure do, why’d you ask?”

“I have one too, I thought we could hit the city like we said the other night”

“Sure! Sounds good!”

My god could this evening last any longer?! Time is a cruel thing to those of us who want it to go quicker! I pulled my legs closer up to me as I snuggled further into the couch, me back resting into the corner by the arm rest. I had an hour before David was due to pick me up, I’d already taken a shower, my hair drying quietly in the warmth of the living room. What was I going to wear? I turned my head to look out the window. It wasn’t a horrible day, it did still look cold though which upon research I had found out was very common for this area. 

Maybe jeans… maybe I’m overthinking it, the guys only helping me grab supplies to redecorate my house, I needed paint, cream? White? I wasn’t sure. I stood up and slowly made my way to the bedroom, this was David, I could easily be comfortable around him. After struggling into my jeans which hugged to my legs and grabbing my NYPD hoodie that Uncle John had sent to me after he got his position, I remember feeling so cool having the big yellow letters printed down the arm. Now though it was a comfort and it was ridiculously comfortable too. You couldn’t go wrong with it really. 

Working at the police station here was such a breath of air, I remember always looking up to John but being terrified at the idea of working the job that he did. I was grateful when this job became available, even more so when I was offered the position. 

There was a knock at the door. He’s early. 

I pulled the chain out of the lock and opened the door, David smiled and for once he actually looked well rested, the dark circles under his eyes didn’t seem as dark as they usually did, maybe he’d actually got a good nights sleep last night. I mentally thanked an unknown deity for the fact that David was super casual too, sporting his usual black jacket but a sweater peeked out from underneath.

“You ready? Sorry I’m early my neighbour decided today would be a good day to do his gardening and the noise almost drove me to murder” I smiled and quickly grabbed my tote bag and keys from the side before following him out and closing and locking the door behind me. 

The drive took about forty minutes, David and I chatted mindlessly, the conversations easily flowing and I took notice of how different he seemed. Sure this wasn’t the first time I’d been around David outside of work but I think leaving work early yesterday and the fact that there was nothing surrounding him about the case really allowed him to open up his shell of security. 

I was happy to see that the stores weren’t rammed either, perks of going out on a weekday I guessed. It took a few hours to trail through a few stores picking out bits I needed, new kitchenware, new sheets for the bedroom and a few homey bits to make the place feel more cosy. I half expected David to grow bored but every time I asked he just smiled and told me to carry on.

So thats what I did, two hours later we were back in the car with a handful of pain cans and carrier bags with all my new things almost back into town.

“You hungry?” 

“I could definitely kill one of Kathy’s burgers right now”  David smiled and continued to drive towards the Diner, he’d definitely gone a little more quiet now, I was worried he had gotten bored. “I’m sorry I dragged you around for so long”

“Don’t be, it was kinda nice not to have to worry about anything and just be dragged along” He threw me a quick smile before turning his attention back to the road. I could see the Diner in the distance, the parking lot already quite full with cars but David managed to squeeze us into a space and we walked in.

It was noisy, a group of workers cracking jokes and laughing over the other side of the diner, we sat down in the same both as last time. As Kathy was taking our orders I saw David look over at the guys who still hadn’t quietened down.

“Oh please tell me you’re gonna go all bad cop on their asses” 

“Nah, they deserve a break right?” 

“Yeah of course!” David seemed to go between good moods and quiet moods quite quickly, maybe it was because of the stress of his job. “Thank you for coming with me today, it was nice” David nodded and smiled looking quickly down at his cup of coffee, but not before I’d noticed the redness that came into his cheeks. 

“You know I’m not…I’m not very good at this”

“At what?”

“Dating” I looked up at him. Was that what we were doing? I couldn’t think for a moment. I mean sure David was attractive and he was a nice person, always trying a little too hard at work sometimes because he wanted to be the best he could be. He was sweet, well I’d never seen him any different anyway. Date David? I kind of liked that idea. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have mentioned it” 

My eyes snapped up back to his, the worry on his face clear as a summer sky. “No! I’m sorry! I was just a little shocked, I didn’t know you felt like that for me, I just thought you saw me as a friend”

“I do! I mean I would like it if you did too…We don’t have to! Forget I said it”

“I’d like to” David looked back up from his coffee cup, a smile of relief tugging at his lips.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to, I don’t want you to feel obligated or for it to be weird because we work together”

“I’m sure David” There it was, that smile. 

[maverick-werewolf]

Folklore Fact #1 - The Headless Horseman/Dullahan

You may have noticed there was no werewolf fact this week. This week, I’m going to do something a little different: a folklore fact on something that actually isn’t a werewolf! (Don’t worry, there will still be more werewolf facts in the future!)

Firstly, let’s look at a creature most everybody knows from Halloween. You probably know it as the Headless Horseman, and your first thought might be American tradition, namely “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.”

But what I’m going to look at in particular as the Dullahan, a headless rider of a particular sort.

There are plenty of headless rider legends all around the world, but I’m going to focus on the Irish one, rather than Scottish, English, Japanese, or any of the other varieties, or the one in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

Dullahan, meaning “dark man,” is also called Gan Ceann (”without a head”). According to some, he is the embodiment of a god called Crom Dubh, a Celtic deity. Others say he’s considered a kind of fairy, or that he’s both.

Something to bear in mind: fairies in folklore were very much not the cute flitting little winged pixie girls we see in a lot of popular culture today. They were actually very freaky and absurd, most of them. Much more on that and the Seelie and Unseelie Courts later, though. The cute winged fairy girls were largely a Renaissance/Early Modern period invention.

I homed in on the dullahan in particular for a short story I wrote for an upcoming short story collection. I’m hoping to publish it sometime this year; not sure exactly when. The story is called “Samhain,” set in my fantasy world of Wulfgard. Keep an eye out for that! (Or if you’re impatient, it’s available right now for my supporters on Patreon.)

Who or what the dullahan is, as mentioned, varies a lot depending on your source. Sometimes the dullahan is a god, sometimes a fairy, sometimes an angry spirit, sometimes all of the above. Whatever the case, it always holds true: he’s missing his head, he comes out at night, and he prefers to come out during feast days and other holidays or days of celebration.

The dullahan is quite a scary thing - much scarier than the Legend of Sleepy Hollow - and here’s just a few reasons why:

Firstly, his horse breathes fire from its nostrils and leaves a trail of flaming hoof prints, some sources say. Secondly, all locked gates and doors burst open when he approaches. Thirdly, he’s likely to be carrying his own severed head.

Also, if you look at him, you immediately go blind. Not because of magic: because he’ll whip your eyes out with a whip made of a human spine (hardcore, right?), or else he’ll blind you by throwing a bucket of blood at you. That might not sound very scary out of context, but picture that actually happening. Oh, jeez. Disgusting.

If that still isn’t enough, someone dies the moment he stops his horse and calls the name of his victim.

So what do you do about all that? Well, if you’re out after dark, carry some gold around. Gold apparently scares the crap out of this guy. Even a single gold coin will send the dullahan running off.

I can’t actually fully confirm some of the other things you can read about the dullahan, like him riding in a carriage - pulled by six black horses - sometimes instead of on a horse, or all these things you hear associating him with coffins. But maybe some of that was also in the various legends. I’d need more good sources to say that with confidence, though.

So if you’re ever out on Halloween night, remember: carry some gold. Maybe it’ll be a dullahan instead of one of the other varieties of headless riders (which I might make posts about in the future; we’ll see).

Hope you enjoyed the first folklore fact! There will be more of these to come.

[kootenaygoon]

So,

Before changing ownership a decade previous, Tony’s Taphouse had been a biker bar called the Civic. Notorious for its rough clientele and routine bouts of violence, and for harbouring regulars who acted like nocturnal animals, most locals knew it as the Zoo. It had been the preferred haunt for the Hell’s Angels, who had long since been banned from the premises. 

“It took us a long time to turn things around,” my boss told me one night, while I manned the door for a Val Kilmer and the New Coke concert. A crowd of twenty-somethings were smoking all around us.

“Whenever we tried to get people to behave they’d say ‘don’t you know this is the Zoo?’ And I would say ‘yes, and I’m the new zookeeper’.”

My boss reminded me of a small child in an enormous body, slightly immature and with a propensity for breaking stuff. He had a reputation for overdoing things, to the point that the Nelson Police Department had nailed him for multiple assault charges. The other bouncers told me he was well known for choke-slamming unruly patrons into unconsciousness, which was the reason he was no longer allowed to assist us when we ejected the city’s shitheads and drunks. The guy was easily 300 pounds, and scary as hell when provoked. The rest of the time he was an amiable teddy bear, quick to laugh and always game to sing “Chocolate Salty Balls” from South Park at karaoke, much to the chagrin of his embarrassed wife. 

Most of my shifts were spent alongside a fellow ginger beard named Luke who liked playing bad cop to my good cop. During the day he worked at a pet food store, and he was well-known as a huge softie when it came to animals. While I had a tendency to treat Tony’s like my own personal Cheers, he was monosyllabic and ominous. Late into the night we would hang by the entrance swapping jokes and taking turns shovelling back lettuce wraps and chicken strips, clad in all black.

Eventually I suggested we should update our uniforms. There was a local barber named Chris Brach who bounced at Spiritbar and I admired how he dressed and carried himself like an old-school gentleman. We ultimately settled on matching vests with dress button-down shirts, with each bouncer choosing their favourite colour. I chose a blood red that was almost purple, while Luke went with sky blue. Eventually the whole team adopted this new look, making the whole place that much classier. 

Working at Tony’s gave me a whole new perspective on Nelson. I knew who was doing drugs, who was cheating on their spouse, and who was banned from the premises until they came grovelling back to the owners. The Nelson Leafs were preening and omnipresent as peacocks, and in the early hours of the evening I’d encounter the more wholesome members of society as they engaged in events like paint night. Sometimes people would approach me with the latest issue of the Nelson Star, commenting on stories or complimenting me on the cover photo. The print edition was becoming increasingly irrelevant, but Tony’s was one of the few places I could regularly see people consuming it alongside their beer.

From where we stood during our shifts, we looked out at a sports bar that took up the ground floor of the Adventure Hotel. Because we were open later than any other establishment in Nelson, we would watch as the late night crowd funnelled in our direction. Crowds of drunk twenty-somethings would march diagonally across the intersection, ignoring the cross-walks, and it was our job to interpret whether or not they could come into Tony’s based on their lurching gait. Some would nod solemnly when we denied them access, while others would whip themselves into deranged frenzies. They would scream their threats to the uncaring black sky, or demand to talk to the owners. These people pissed me off.

“You’re a good bouncer and everyone loves you, but the other staff have told me you have a tendency to go from zero to sixty pretty quick,” my other boss told me, during a performance review. She was the owner.

“We don’t think it’s a problem, but it’s something we want you to watch out for. Obviously this job can be stressful at times, so it’s up to you to keep your temper in check. It’s about customer service.”

Though there were plenty of threats of violence at Tony’s, it was rare that we actually had to put our hands on people. Most were cowed into submission by our size, and knew they had to play nice if they wanted continued access to the bar. We tried to kill them with kindness, calling them cabs and reassuring them that they’d be welcomed back once they sobered up. More than once I found myself consoling despondent drunks who were horrified by their own behaviour, going through a break-up, or grieving. Some were so confused and inebriated they didn’t know how to get home. I came to love these idiots, or at least most of them, because I considered them part of the Tony’s family.

The most interesting employee was a behemoth brute named Gordo, a holdover from the days of the Zoo, who looked exactly like a bearded Bobby Baccala. The female staff adored him because of his gentle, benevolent presence. He made people feel safe. He wasn’t a bouncer anymore because, like my boss, he’d gone overboard a few too many times. He lived downstairs and oversaw the daily operations, and was only called to help during emergencies. He was the type of guy you didn’t want to fuck with, ever. He loved Tony’s and everyone on staff intensely, and if violence was needed he was more than capable of dispensing it. I’d never met someone with such a fascinating mix of kindness and malevolence to his personality, and I admired how effectively he funnelled his anger in appropriate directions.

One night, during a slow period, he stood out on the street and regaled me with stories of his bouncing days in Toronto. During those years he’d been stabbed and shot multiple times, a fact he delivered with a shy chuckle.

“This one guy was shaking my hand, right? And with his other hand he stabbed me right here,” Gordo said, pointing to his rib cage.

“So I pulled him close to me and snapped his elbow backwards, just like this.”

Gordo recreated the scene with a smile on his face, demonstrating how the guy’s arm had bent the wrong way while the bones snapped and popped. He’d regained control of the situation while the knife was still plunged hilt-deep into his side. He laughed and wiped his eyes, remembering.

“I was a lot bigger back then, if you can imagine that. So the knife didn’t end up doing much damage. It didn’t hit anything significant. Meanwhile this guy’s a puddle on the ground in front of me, whimpering like a little girl.”

When I wasn’t on the door, I would work my way slowly through the lounge area and out to the back patio where people were allowed to smoke. There was a row of comfortable couches and a long counter where people could pull up stools and drink under the gaze of Elephant Mountain. At times I couldn’t believe I was being paid to socialize, and the dance floor playlist introduced me to a new favourite artist: a young Swedish woman named Tove Lo. If we’re talking body, she sang, You got a perfect one so put it on me. If you do me right, we’ll fuck for life, on and on and on. 

Paisley had finally moved home to be with her parents, and her absence had proven to be a boon to my mental health. I still missed my dogs desperately but I was finally free to move on without her constant surveillance and gossip. I decided early on that I wouldn’t date anyone on staff, but there was no shortage of young women who would find excuses to linger by the door or stand outside smoking, sizing me up. Most nights I was still ending up at Natalya’s, where I would crawl into her bed and cap the night off with an early morning fuck in the dark. She’d leave her front door unlocked and we’d pant through our routine without speaking a word. She’d resigned herself to the fact I wasn’t interested in anything beyond that, and she never bothered me with small talk. We had what we had, and that was it.

The sleep deprivation involved with working at Tony’s ended up meaning that I spent most of my weekends asleep, recovering in Brendan’s basement and only leaving the house for necessities. Sunday was my only day off, and I needed that down time to get in the right headspace for the Star. I had a couple of ambitious series going on, including one about the Columbia River Treaty, and I needed my mental faculties operating properly to adequately approach these subjects. I could sense that Ed was growing tired of my rock star attitude and reluctance to put in a full 40-hour work week. I kept finding myself asking why I was still there, but I didn’t have another option available. Both jobs and housing were scarce in Nelson, and I was barely holding on.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this,” I told my friend Tia one night. She worked at the Hume Hotel but had started her own business called Wurst Dog. We’d been discussing whether I could find some sort of entrepreneurial gig to transition to once I was finished with journalism.

“You just have to take a chance and jump, kid,” she said. “Then see where you land. I’m sure there’s all kinds of people in this town who would give you a job doing social media or something.”

“Or maybe I could be a full-time bouncer and write on the side? Finally finish my manuscript? I dunno.”

Tia smiled and mussed my hair.

“I believe in you,” she said. “You’ve got this.”

The Kootenay Goon

[thedevillord-writes]

Pandora - Ignorance

"Ignorance is always afraid of change"

-Jawaharlal Nehru

Smoothing out her hair before tying a ponytail, making sure there was no crease on her blouse, and one final spritz of her perfume.

Yumi never thought she would find work so soon after graduation. She knew so many seniors who struggled to find a job, settling for one eventually that matched none of their criteria. Those with whom she graduated too, there was a handful still struggling. She was lucky to come across the employment ad. She applied for it and many others, not carrying high hopes of getting any of them. And just as she expected, all of them came back a rejection. All but one.

Ichinomiya Group

When she saw the two words printed on the envelope, Yumi prepared herself for yet another rejection. This was an exclusive company, many wanted in but many were rejected. Yumi was neither special nor did she have connections, why would she be chosen? Her interview did not go as well as she hoped for it to be either. She went through it like they taught in school, giving robotic and generic answers. She kicked herself in the heel as soon as she left the building, cursing her mind for going blank throughout the interview. Then, there was a miracle.

Somehow, for some reason, she was hired.

The letter was a notice for her to start work next week. She could barely sleep that night, reeling in the high from how unbelievably lucky she was. She spent the next week shopping for new clothes, looking up anything available on the Tres Spades hotel and Ichinomiya Group. She even looked up Youtube videos on how to be a good secretary. She knew going in she was just a replacement for six months but she wanted to do well no matter how short the employment was. She was confident she would do well too. Until she met her.

Matsuoka Haruka. The Wonder Woman, the Golden Secretary. That was what they called her.

Yumi had seen her on the news many times, and she was always by Eisuke's side. She was most definitely a woman to admire. Rumour had it that Eisuke was difficult to work with, hiring and firing secretaries during his earlier years like he was changing clothes. All but Haruka failed. It got Yumi wondering what was so special about her that Eisuke kept her around and was unwilling to let her go.

In the short week she worked with Haruka, Yumi understood why. The Tres Spades hotel became one of Japan's top hotels, if not the best, and Eisuke trusted Haruka solely to help him operate his sole success thus far. Ichinomiya Group was definitely one of the most influential companies around and Haruka was put in a position where she was practically running the company. If Yumi was put under so much pressure, she would have collapsed on day one. But Haruka did not.

Every single problem that came at her, she would calmly solve. And with a smile too.

"Penny for your thought?" Haruka hummed, putting a cup of tea in front of Yumi. "It's chamomile, it should help you relax a little. I know how hard it is working for Mr. Ichinomiya."

There was always that person in class, the perfect student. The one who would hand in the best assignments, get the best grades, had the best looks. The one person whom everyone secretly hated because they wanted to be like them but could not. Haruka was that person. But she could not hate Haruka. Not when she would greet her with a smile always, checking to make sure that she was not too stressed. Haruka was perfect in every way that Yumi was frustrated she was not.

"Do you ever worry that I might replace you completely?" Yumi asked.

"I'm sorry?" Haruka tilted her head slightly, a confused look on her face. It was a rather rude question, Yumi would admit, but she was curious. This was almost anyone's dream job. It paid well and the boss was good looking, one of the most powerful men in Japan. If Yumi had to leave the job for as long as Haruka wanted to, she would be worried.

"Are you not worried at all?"

"Do you think you can replace me?" Haruka asked. Yumi did not. She knew she did not have the skills nor the charisma to ever fully replace Haruka. It was just bizarre how confident someone was in themselves as Haruka was. "If I lose my job, then I lose it," she said. "If you can replace me, that means you are good enough to. And if Mr. Ichinomiya does not need me around, he would not keep me around."

And if there was anything more bizarre than Haruka's confidence in herself, it was the relationship between her and Eisuke.

On the surface, they looked just like an ordinary pair of boss and secretary. Haruka picked up calls, set up meetings, and handed documents for him to sign. Eisuke was a businessman relying on a capable secretary. Though, even Yumi who only worked with them for two weeks could tell that there was something more than a work relationship going on between them. The only people who did not seem to know, however, were Eisuke and Haruka themselves.

Some would argue that it was simply they had spent such a long time by each other's side, they were bond to be close in one way or another. Yumi disagreed though. The interactions between them, the things they would do for each other, Yumi would never have done for her brothers nor her close friends. Neither would they for her. Or at least, not to their extent.

It seemed innocent enough to have the secretary picking out the peas one by one because her boss did not like them, but it made no sense for the boss himself to pick out the peppers for his secretary. Eisuke was significantly taller than Haruka was, even with heels on, and had much longer legs. Yet, he would walk in smaller strides so it would not be a hassle for her to keep up. Whenever Haruka was struggling to walk because of her (ridiculously high) heels, Eisuke would offer his arm subconsciously. Her boyfriend would have just told Yumi to take the heels off.

"Miss Matsuoka, do you believe in soulmates?"

"I believe in the idea of soulmates. I don't think that anyone in this world is made specifically to compliment another." You and Mr. Ichinomiya, Yumi thought but she kept her lips sealed. "I think it's just comforting for us to know that there is someone out there who is perfect for us. No one wants to spend their life thinking that there is nobody out there who would understand why they are the way they are."

"Do you think you've found your soulmate?"

"I don't think so. Even though Mr. Baba tells me everyday that I'm his soulmate," Haruka laughed.

"Don't you want to fall in love with the perfect person to fall in love with?"

Yumi's question seemed to have struck something within Haruka as her expression fell. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard as she stared blankly at the keys. "Is there really such a thing as the perfect person to fall in love with?" Haruka asked. "You think they are perfect but that isn't always the case, is it? Their bad sides start to come out but you still try to convince yourself that they are still the same person you fell in love with. Even when they fall out of love with you, you still try to keep the illusion. All you end up with is hurting yourself and your family."

"Miss Matsuoka?"

It was an innocent question. Or so Yumi thought. The way Haruka reacted was a little scary, to be honest. As she spoke, her hands scrunched up into fists and she was clutching them so tightly that her knuckles turned white. Her eyes started reddening and tears were swelling. Her tone of voice changed too. It was not her usual bright and polite tone but rather, it was full of anger and resentment.

"Miss Matsuoka?"

"I'm sorry," Haruka smiled, snapping out of the little unusual moment. "I've been meaning to tell you this but please, just call me Haruka. There's no need to be so formal with me, we're colleagues and friends."

"Are you okay, Haruka-san?"

"Perfectly fine. Let's get on with work."

Yumi hated the days when Haruka were not there. From what she heard (from Baba), Haruka used to come to work at the early hours but since Yumi started working, she would start late in the day and leave early too. While they were all too scared to tell Eisuke to his face, everyone thought Haruka made the right decision and it was about time she got some rest. Yumi, on the other hand, got a taste of what her life would be like once Haruka went on that leave instead.

When Haruka called in to say that she would come in to work later than usual that day, Yumi prepared herself for the worst when she broke the news to Eisuke. Irritation was obviously visible on his face though it was surprising to see Eisuke keeping it in this time. He did not say a word but simply nodded in acknowledgement.

"Take lunch off. You don't have to come with for the meeting."

"But Haru-"

"Am I your boss or is Haruka?"

"I understand, Mr. Ichinomiya."

If Haruka was here, she would have taken Yumi out for lunch and treated her to something good. With her only lunch buddy not around, Yumi looked at her phone with a sigh. After seeing what a relationship could be like, she really did not want to call him out but having lunch by herself seemed a little pathetic.

Kenta was not a bad man. He was not the perfect man, he was average. They met back in university where Yumi studied Mass Communications while Kenta was in Computer Science. Yumi found him adorable during the group speed dating event she was forced to join. He was awkward and he talked about a lot of things that Yumi did not understand. But he was the only guy who did not try to lay a hand on her and offered to walk her home because it was late (he paid for her taxi instead when Yumi refused). Two weeks later, they started dating.

Nothing was wrong with their relationship at all, Yumi was happy with it. But if there was something she had to complain about, it was the fact that Kenta was not romantic. Every Valentine's was the same. Every birthday was the same. Everyday was the same. It was as if they skipped right past the honeymoon period that one was supposed to have and became an old couple.

"What do you want to eat?" Kenta asked, walking by her side.

"Whatever, I suppose." We'll just end up eating ramen anyway, Yumi thought.

"How about ramen? I know a place around here."

Letting out a sigh, Yumi turned to look at Kenta when she spotted Haruka across the street. "Haruka-san?" Pushing Kenta to the side for a clearer view, Yumi frowned when she saw a man next to Haruka. He was tall and good looking. Really good looking. She did not recognise his face from Haruka's file which meant he was not a business associate of Eisuke's. Was he a friend of hers?

Although she wanted to follow after, the restaurant they went into was too high end for Yumi to afford. After lunch with Kenta, Yumi went back to the hotel alone. All the way back, she was bumping into people and streetlights, too deep in her thoughts to even apologise. Could it be that she was wrong about Haruka and Eisuke? There was no denying their chemistry but was it possible that she read too much into it? She was pulled back to reality when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

"Miss Miyazawa?" Kenzaki greeted her with a smile before presenting her with a bouquet. "Could you please pass this onto Miss Matsuoka? This came just a moment ago but I don't think I'd get to see her today to give it to her."

"Yeah, sure," Yumi nodded, taking the bouquet.

Heading up to the penthouse, Yumi was curious to know who would send such a big bouquet to Haruka. It was no surprise that a woman like Haruka had admirers; this was not the first time Yumi received flowers on her behalf after all. But it was always roses before. Roses of different colours but roses nonetheless. It was as if men knew no other flowers but the rose itself. Even so, Yumi was a little jealous. Kenta would only get her a single rose for Valentine's.

This bouquet, however, was very different.

Whoever it was sent Haruka pure white peonies. With her mother being a florist, Yumi grew up learning the meaning of flowers. She spent way too many of her summers arranging bouquets to know when a boyfriend wanted to apologise to a girlfriend for something stupid they did. White, however, was not the colour most people would go for, especially not for an apology. It mostly meant humility but it could also stand for regret.

"Oh my, our Yumi-chan is popular. And here I am, thinking that I could have a chance with you."

Taking the liberty of arranging the flowers in a vase for Haruka, Yumi was deep in thoughts when she was interrupted. Baba came into the pantry, twirling his hat on his finger. Haruka had warned her about the other residents in the penthouse on her first day and Yumi assured her that she would be able to handle them. Baba left the strongest impression of them all, mainly because he introduced himself rather flamboyantly and ended their first meeting with a kiss on the hand. She had seen how Baba would flirt with Haruka too, and how she would evade his advances effortlessly. That was the attitude Yumi decided to adopt too.

"It's for Haruka-san," Yumi explained.

"Ah...well, Haruka has always been popular," Baba smiled, walking up to Yumi to take a better look at the arrangement. "Oh? It's peony?"

"Is that strange?"

"Hm...not so much," Baba shrugged. "But it looks like the Boss might have a rival."

If she was being honest, Yumi was surprised. She thought the other men were just as dense as her boss was when it came to the relationship between Haruka and Eisuke. They always acted nonchalant to the very obvious chemistry and tension between the two.

When he caught Yumi's eyes, Baba chuckled. "Did you think we wouldn't know?" he hummed, leaning in to sniff the flowers as he looked to Yumi. "I think Haruka and the Boss are the only two people in the world who doesn't know," he grinned. "Although they are both smart people, they can be quite dense in this department." Yumi would have to agree with Baba; they were dense.

"Ah...it's just so frustrating watching them."

"Who knows? I think it's fun," Baba smiled.

[the-gay-in-the-way]

Throwing Knives can be Fun

(So, I was moving all of my work here onto Ao3, but then I reached one particular post and realized that it wouldn’t really make as much sense with just the part I wrote.)

(So I redid the entire thing, from the beginning prompt to ending I’d made.)

(And this is the result.)

(It’s basically just what I originally wrote, but with extensions.)

(And written in a way that sounds a bit nicer.)

(Anyways, I’ll just go ahead and leave this here.)

(Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy.)

One day, Virgil is sitting on the couch, minding his own business.

When, suddenly, something comes flying straight at his face.

He catches it without thinking and takes a moment to just stare at the offending object in his hand.

It's a fork.

"What?"

Then he hears snickers coming from the direction of the kitchen and narrows his eyes.

"Are you seriously throwing forks at me?"

"No."

Said the voice from the kitchen before another fork was quickly tossed in his direction.

It hit him gently on the side before bouncing onto the couch and Virgil stood up to face the bowler hat peeking up from the kitchen window.

"You trying to start something, Ekans?"

Then the bowler hat rose and Deceit stood before him with his hands full of forks and a toothy grin on his face.

"Absolutely not."

Virgil grinned back, preparing himself to get his own ammo from the kitchen.

And things quickly devolved from there.

-------------------------

Quite some time later, Patton came out of his room to see about getting a snack when he heard the sounds of shouting and banging in the common area.

He frowned and quickly made his way downstairs.

And what he saw made him instantly freeze in shock.

Deceit was laying on the dining room table, his hands filled with forks, hissing at Virgil.

And Virgil was stood on a small mountain of chairs across the room, grinning like a super villain, as he cackled and waved around his own two handfuls of spoons.

Meanwhile, the utensils seemed to have taken over the room completely.

On the floor, on the couch, on every single available surface within the space.

Forks and spoons.

"What is this?"

Patton's almost mystified voice halted the strange game the two had been playing and they both stared at him in shock for a moment before reacting at almost exactly the same time.

"He started it!"

The two shouted while gesturing their utensil laden hands at each other.

Then Virgil coughed, hopped off of his mountain of chairs, dropped his utensils, and waved a hand towards the mess.

And wisps of shadows started flying around the room, picking up all of the fallen utensils and returning them back to the kitchen where they belonged.

Deceit also dropped his utensils to be picked up by the shadows and slid quickly off of the table, moving away after a moment to let the shadows return the chairs to their rightful places as well.

Virgil didn't often use this ability, as it tended to make the shadows a bit more excitable than usual and harder to control when he was working later, but he couldn't actually tell what Patton was thinking right at the moment so he was willing to deal with the backlash in return for not having to face the father figure's possible wrath.

For a moment, everything was quiet as the shadows quickly finished their work and dissipated back into thin air.

Then Virgil finally couldn't take it anymore, and spoke.

"Um, Pat?"

And Patton blinks rapidly, as though awaking from a trance, and turns his gaze to look at Virgil directly.

"Did you guys just have a utensil war?"

Virgil and Deceit both flinch at the words and share a quick unsure glance between themselves.

"Um, no?"

Deceit's lie sounds more like a question than a statement and Virgil wonders what Patton is thinking as he stares at the two of them blankly.

Then the moral side starts to smile and Virgil suddenly knows exactly what he is thinking.

And he is terrified.

"Well, I guess I'm just gonna have to join you then."

Virgil takes a couple quick steps over to Deceit who is also starting to realize exactly what's happening and is also suitably terrified.

"Cus' you guys are missing a certain utensil from your match."

Virgil has reached Deceit and the reptilian side is already reaching for him as Patton summons up handfuls of the aforementioned missing utensil and smiles at them as sweetly as ever, an excited gleam to his eyes.

"Knives!"

And Deceit and Virgil both start to scream as the stronger side picks the lying side up and starts to sprint around the room while Patton starts to cackle as he throws KNIVES at them.

Virgil eventually manages to reach the stairs and runs up them, still screaming.

Deceit continues to scream as well, as they sprint past everyone's bedrooms. 

Alerting the other two sides of something going on in the hallway.

Logan opens his door to see what all the commotion is about. 

Only to see Virgil sprinting down the hall past him with Deceit in his arms, both of them screaming.

Then Patton also sprints past, still throwing knives, cackling like a madman.

Logan blinks and then just shuts his door.

For a moment, he stands in his room, staring at nothing in particular as he tries to process what was happening in the hallway behind him.

Then he sighs a most long suffering sigh and sets about putting everything on his desk away for the day.

He didn't know what was happening out there, but he didn't need to know to already feel exhausted by it.

He was going to take a break before things really started to get out of hand.

Roman also opens his door to see what the commotion is about and screams when a knife is sent flying only inches past his face.

There's a gasp from Patton and then a round of absolutely terrifying giggles.

"Yay! More toys to play with!"

His words are both innocent and ominous and Roman is too scared and confused to react properly.

Lucky for him, Virgil is quick on his feet.

"Nope!"

He shouts out before quickly picking up Roman as well and continuing to run down the endless hallway.

Patton giggles again and the two on his shoulders give full body shivers.

"No! Don't run!" He whines in a way that's a little too cheerful to be truly innocent. "Come back and play with me!"

Then knives are being thrown again and the screams, now with the addition of a third, return as Virgil sprints onward.

The chase lasts for quite some time.

Until the worst possible scenario finally happens.

Virgil gets cornered.

After valiantly saving the other two from the same fate by shoving them into a closet moments beforehand, Patton approaches him with an impossibly wide grin on his face.

The knives gleam in his hands and Virgil wonders idly if he should bother trying to get away or not.

He'd been pretty sure this whole time that Patton wouldn't actually hurt any of them with those knives, but the adrenaline rushing through his system and the expression on his best friend's face was really starting to make him question that.

Then Patton launched several knives at him at once and Virgil is also pretty sure that he can’t actually die from a physical injury but he’s also pretty sure that this is the moment when he dies.

 And then he kind of just sits there for a second in confusion when nothing actually happens to him.

"What?"

And then Patton is laughing even more than before and Virgil is so confused until he picks up one of the knives and realizes that Patton had tricked them all from the start.

The knives were plastic and dull.

They'd looked so real, he'd never bothered to question it.

But, apparently, he should have.

And then Virgil starts laughing too, unable to resist at this point, and they’re both dying on the floor while leaning against each other and shaking from the force of their guffaws.

Then Roman and Deceit come out of the closet to figure out why the two had been laughing so much for so long.

And Patton just looks at Virgil and Virgil instantly knows what he has to do.

So he stands up wielding a handful of knives and grins in the craziest way he can, which is absolutely terrifying because he’s Anxiety and he knows how to look scary better than anyone else, and just says one thing in the scariest and most warped version of his voice possible.

“RUN”

And the two instantly scramble to escape as Patton starts cackling once again, yelling for them to come back so they can play together.

And that was already scary before but now Virgil is also sprinting alongside him and booming with his own terrifying evil laughter and the two being chased can't help but lament the loss of their protector turned pursuer as they try not to die.

Meanwhile, Logan is in the kitchen as everyone else continues to run around the house frantically.

He ignores the screams of Roman and Deceit as he makes some tea for himself and doesn’t even blink when all four of them scramble into the commons for a moment.

"LOGAN!"

The two 'victims' shriek as they sprint towards him.

He remains still as they collapse behind him on the couch, gasping for breathe as they try to keep him in between them and the two standing on the other side of the room.

"Save us!"

Roman quickly huffs into his shoulder.

He takes a moment to raise an eyebrow at Virgil in question.

And, when the Anxious side snorts and shrugs at him, he rises up from his position on the couch and turns to face the two still huddled upon it.

They stare at him with big eyes as he summons his own set of knives and gives them his most intimidating smirk.

"I don't think you two realize the position you're in right now."

And then the two on the couch scramble away.

"BETRAYAL!"

Roman screams as he and Deceit print back towards the hallway.

Virgil snorts again as Patton starts cackling and chasing after them once more.

"Thanks, Logan."

He gives the Logical side a quick salute alongside a slightly crooked smile.

Logan smiles as well and gives a simple nod of his head, dissipating the summoned knives at the same time.

"Of course. Have fun, Virgil."

The other's grin turns slightly more menacing before he simply turns away and disappears up the stairs in a blur of black and purple.

Then Logan returns to his seat and continues to wait patiently for the game to eventually end.

The game does last for a while after that until eventually Deceit just gives up and throws himself at Virgil.

The anxious side catches him easily, but almost pokes him in the gut with some of the knives he’s holding as he does so.

Then Deceit declares that he now owes him some cake and cuddles for being so terrifying the entire time and Virgil just laughs and leaves Patton and Roman to finish the game themselves while he carries the danger noodle back to the common area to relax on the couch with Logan and watch some history channel shows.

Eventually, Roman decides to end the game by dramatically dying in the common area while Patton tosses knives at him, giggling the entire time.

It turns out, Roman and Deceit had realized pretty quickly after Virgil also started throwing knives that they were fake, because they knew that the anxious side would never do something that could actually cause them harm.

Also, he had better aim than Patton so it was pretty easy to figure it out when the knives were just harmlessly pinging off of them.

And then everyone kind of just collapses into a pile on the couch and switches to watching lilo and stitch. 

And Patton eventually makes a chocolate cake later that day for Deceit and makes Roman's favorite food for dinner, while Virgil makes sure to visit Roman the next day to have a fun Disney marathon with just the two of them and gives Deceit some extra affectionate cuddles for the rest of the day to make up for it all.

And, when Thomas eventually finds out about the incident, he asks why nobody tried to stop Patton when he suddenly started throwing knives at everyone.

And Roman, Deceit, and Logan say that they just assumed Virgil would do something if he thought it was actually too dangerous.

And Virgil just says that he assumed Patton wouldn’t actually kill them even if they were real knives.

Probably.

"AW! That's so sweet! I love my dark strange son!"

Patton squeals as he launches himself at the darker side.

Virgil simply smiles and catches him, giving him an affectionate squeeze as the others laugh and roll their eyes.

And Thomas huffs a little.

He knows that Virgil is usually right when it comes to these kinds of things, but it sometimes surprises him that the being that is his actual SURVIVAL INSTINCT is willing to do things like let himself be chased down by someone throwing knives at him.

All because he's pretty sure they don't intend to murder him on purpose.

But it's fine, he supposes.

"C'mon, Kiddo! It's Deceit's turn to pick today, so let's get comfy while he and Logan set it all up."

Patton giggles a little as he pulls him down to sit between him and his best friend, outright laughing as Roman flops onto the couch on his other side.

Virgil smiles from his spot next to the host and wraps an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer so that he's cuddled comfortably against his side.

"That's so kind of you, Patton. Thank you so much for the help. It's greatly appreciated."

Logan's voice drawls from the kitchen and Patton laughs hard enough to fall over onto Roman, who wraps his arms around him as he laughs alongside him.

Virgil snorts.

"Wow, I can feel the sarcasm from here."

His voice rumbles straight through Thomas' chest and makes him relax further into him as he lets out his own little chuckle.

Deceit sniffs and wipes a fake tear from his eye as he continues to prepare the movie.

"He's learning so fast. I'm so proud."

'Yeah.'

He thinks.

'It's all fine.'

(And that is the end of that.)

(Here’s the general taglist, for all those people who wanted to be alerted whenever I wrote anything new.)

@a-snoway-afternoon @ashrain5 @virgilscat @gumdrop2113

(There ya go.)

(I hope you guys like the story.)

(Please feel free to inform me if I missed someone or if someone on the list wants to be removed.)

(Go here for the next part of the CAP Series.)

(A Bed of Links:)

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[recentanimenews]

Manga the Week of 8/11/21

SEAN: August continues. It’s still 2021, you know. Not 2022 yet, I promise.

ASH: I do sometimes wonder at what year it is, so I appreciate the clarification.

SEAN: Two print novels from Airship: Drugstore in Another World: The Slow Life of a Cheat Pharmacist 2 and Skeleton Knight in Another World 9.

In early digital news, we get two debuts. Monster Musume The Novel – Monster Girls on the Job! is pretty much exactly what it says.

ASH: Huh, I had missed that there was a novel, too.

SEAN: She Professed Herself Pupil of the Wise Man (Kenja no Deshi wo Nanoru Kenja) is about a gamer whose OP character is an old man. Then one day he falls asleep and wakes up in the world of the game… but he’s a young girl! What else can he do but pretend that she’s his disciple?

Denpa Books gives us Gambling Apocalypse: KAIJI 3.

ASH: Glad to see this coming out!

SEAN: Ghost Ship debuts Sundome!! Milky Way, a Shueisha series from Grand Jump about a salaryman who runs into an alien girl who wants to have his baby. The trouble is, when she gets embarrassed she reverts to her alien form. This is from the creator of Yokai Girls.

ASH: Not to be confused with the now out-of-print (though still available electronically) Sundome by Kazuto Okada.

SEAN: J-Novel Club has, in novels, Are You Okay With a Slightly Older Girlfriend? 4 and The Greatest Magicmaster’s Retirement Plan 10.

On the manga side, they debut Villainess: Reloaded! Blowing Away Bad Ends with Modern Weapons (Doushitemo Hametsushitakunai Akuyaku Reijou ga Gendai Heiki wo Te ni Shita Kekka ga Kore desu), whose light novel we’ve already seen. The manga runs in Suiyoubi no Sirius.

And we also get Record of Wortenia War’s 3rd manga.

In print, Kodansha has the 3rd volume of the delightful A Sign of Affection.

MICHELLE: I really will read this at some point.

ANNA: I love this series. It is one of the few series that I decided to get digitally because I didn’t want to wait for print.

ASH: I just recently picked up the first volume! I’m looking forward to giving the series a try.

SEAN: The digital debut is Yamaguchi-kun Isn’t So Bad (Yamaguchi-kun wa Warukunai), the story of a girl who finds the scary-looking classmate of hers is actually quite a kind person. It runs in Betsufure.

MICHELLE: I know this is a well-trodden shoujo genre, but dangit, I usually like these.

ANNA: Unsurprisingly, me too!

ASH: Saaaaaaame.

SEAN: They also have Are You Lost? 7, Cells at Work and Friends 5, A Couple of Cuckoos 5, Defying Kurosaki-kun 16, Giant Killing 25, and Police in a Pod 3.

MICHELLE: Insert perennial Giant Killing squee here.

ASH: I really enjoyed the anime; I still need to read the manga!

SEAN: A lot of debuts for Seven Seas. Chronicles of an Aristocrat Reborn in Another World (Tensei Kizoku no Isekai Boukenroku – Jichou o Shiranai Kamigami no Shito) is another “the title is the plot” isekai, and it runs in Mag Garden’s Beat’s.

I Got Caught Up In a Hero Summons, but the Other World was at Peace! (Yuusha Shoukan ni Makikomareta kedo, Isekai wa Heiwa deshita) is a Kadokawa series from Comp Ace. Our protagonist is accidentally transported due to a hero summons… but there’s no war? Demons are our friends? No adventuring either? Good thing there’s piles of girls to glom onto our potato of a lead guy!

Skip and Loafer is a series from Kodansha’s Afternoon about a country girl who thinks she is completely prepared for life in the big city!… She isn’t. This is award-nominated.

MICHELLE: This sounds fun! The cover is cute, too. Kind of has a Silver Spoon vibe.

ANNA: This does sound cute.

ASH: I am intrigued!

SEAN: Also from Seven Seas: Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon 2, Failure Frame: I Became the Strongest and Annihilated Everything With Low-Level Spells 2, Harukana Receive 8, How Heavy Are the Dumbbells You Lift? 7, and Tamamo-chan’s a Fox! 3.

Square Enix has a 7th volume of Hi Score Girl.

SuBLime has a 2nd volume of horror BL series MADK.

ASH: I’m so far behind on so many series, but this one is higher up on the ever-growing pile of manga to be read.

Tokyopop gives us Glass Syndrome (Glasstaion Shoukougun), a one-shot BL manga about two teens who both have tons of issues and how they get together. It ran in Kaiousha’s Gush.

MICHELLE: Another nice cover.

ANNA: Tokyopop, you still can’t trick me.

SEAN: Viz has Call of the Night 3, Fullmetal Alchemist: Fullmetal Edition 14, Komi Can’t Communicate 14, the 7th volume of Persona 5, Radiant 14, and Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle 15.

ASH: Some good selections in that list.

SEAN: Lastly, Yen Press has The Dark History of the Reincarnated Villainess 3, ID:Invaded #Brake-Broken 2, Love of Kill 3, Mint Chocolate 3, and Sasaki and Miyano 3.

What manga are you reading if you get transported to another world?

By: Sean Gaffney

[astyle-alex]

[the Old Guard] the Thing about Technology... | Fanfic by PrettyMissKitty

Fandom: the Old Guard Pairing / Character Focus: Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Technology Warnings: None Word Count: 1380 Summary: Booker might be the Guard's official Tech Guy, but I don't think google would be Andy's handicap, because the thing about technology is that it's not about how old you are, it's about how closely you've been paying attention. Tech is only scary if you look away and miss something in its development (and you don't have the luxury of time to learn what you missed).Here's a short over-view of Andy's history with technology, because when she was young, Zero hadn't been invented yet! *Includes Historical Notes!

The Thing About Technology...

           The thing about technology and old folks is that the old folks usually missed something, some critically important step in leaning, not how to use a piece of tech, but the context of why it was created and therefore how to manipulate its variables.

           Old folks can’t use a cell phone because they’re focused on the end result of making the photo-thing take pictures rather than on the process of finding a way to access the camera. They usually missed the developmental stage in tech when the camera was a physical button-press being grafted onto basic coding. And most old folks today certainly weren’t around for when ‘coding’ meant shoving paper punchout card by hand into a mechanical maw the size of god damn building and physically pulling levers to manipulate it.

           Old folks generally can’t use tech because they weren’t there to see the layers of it get invented— and they can’t keep up with learning the how-to’s when they never learned the why’s. They look away for a second, distracted with Life, a job, or having kids, and suddenly the world is different and they can't sit down and backtrack until the figure out what they missed.

           When one is an immortal, no part of that problem is really relevant.

           Andy knows how tech works.

           She even likes most of it.

           Well over 6000 years of technological developments and her ancient ass is still up on all the latest shiny things. It kills her with hysteric giggles how people younger than her age by over 40 fold think they can’t call her ‘kid’ with such disdain, and call her a ‘millennial’ with dismissive rancor even when begging for her help because ‘their gps is broken’ (the function is not usually broken, but it’s rarely been enabled).

           Over 6000 years and Andy still remembers the first big new thing to make its mark upon the world. She’s old as sin itself at this point, but written Language was still fairly new when she was born… phonetics and syllable symbols were becoming more common [1] , but alphabetical written language? Woo, well that had still been mostly an experiment [2] .

           Likewise, the concept of zero was a pretty cool thing.

           Zero popped up about 2000 years into Andy’s time on earth, though it wasn’t given it’s own symbol in the writing system until about a thousand years later [3] .

           Around that same time, saddle girths came into being [4] . And blink a few hundred years away ‘till when stirrups came along [5] . As far as Andy was concerned, that was the moment when real warfare was invented. Elegant and noble warfare, at least, the kind with a grand strategy and careful deliberation in the use of armies.

           Technically, war had been around for thousands of years before Andromache first drew breath, but only in the far east (as she would only learn after several millennia of fighting) had war become something other than foot soldiers and a few mounted units or those in chariots just randomly bashing up against each other.

           A thousand years before Andromache became the scourge and savoir of Scythia, East Asia had made war into an Art, and by the time she was halfway through her 4th millennia, they'd even wrote a book abut it [6] .

           Bows and arrows had been around forever [7] , but the deign for a recurved composite bow came around as an exhilarating shock— appearing a little after girths and a bit before stirrups [8] .

           Combined, stirrups and girths and recurve bows made war into and elegant dance of skill and strategy— a contest in which there were clear victors and few civilians caught in the crossfire. What armies did outside of battle was another story, one that had such heinous chapters that Andromache wet her blade far more often in the chests of men dying off the battlefield rather than on it.

           And the gunpowder came along [9] .

           Things got messy with gunpowder. War became less a contest of skill and planning, and more a contest ruthlessness and willingness to utterly destroy the object of one’s aim to conquer... no matter who got in the way.

           Still, gunpowder meant the delights of fireworks and noise crackers and smoke-bombs for dramatic exits.

           Even with the higher casualty count and increase brutality and suffering in battle, Andy counted gunpowder a solid boon.

           And outside of warfare? Well, windmills were pretty cool [10] .

           Efficient mills made bread cheaper and made it taste much better than before— good, highly efficient mills made everything easier which lowered the risk of having a baker cheat you with most of the flour used to bake really being sand.

           The magnetic compass was neat [11] , but what really drew Andy’s attention was the development of mechanical clocks and celestial calendars [12] — the metallurgy skills of her Scythian heritage could feel the hum of craftsmanship in the work behind their making.

           Books were always pretty much magical, even when they’d been written down by hand. But once the printing press had been developed [13] , Andy started reading everything available.

           She perhaps wasn’t there for the invention of the oil lamp [14] , but the cleaner burn of kerosene [15] changed how Andy spent her nights, spending longer and longer into the evening enjoying time out on the town— at least until things got out of hand with air pollution and roughing it like the good old days before lamps and plumbing seemed infinitely preferable to staying in a city.

           Skipping all the big-but-little developments, like railways / cars / planes and the telegraph (all of which Andy needed to utilize with capital effort to be effective in her self-appointed role as a from-the-shadows world-improver), Andy was there when electric lighting came to be [16] .

           1901 saw radios becoming legitimately useful in Andy’s line of work, which made a lot of things far easier. Conversely, 1935’s development of radar made many things much harder.

           Room-sized calculators in the 1920’s and 30’s and 40’s gave way to legitimate computers by the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s… with the niche interest of computer programming and networking going from mostly military or home-grown super geek to entirely mainstream in a single blink once 1985’s release of an ATARI graphic interface hit. That was when tech really took off, in Andy’s mind, at least.

           The pace of its development certainly exploded.

           But the advantage of being an immortal is that she never had to look backwards to learn tech’s history. When something new came along, she could learn it with the benefit of having the full depth of its context there behind her to bolster her way passed any minor blips of confusion.

           So, now, when Andy’s bored to death with waiting for the noise to start, she can listen to an audio book while playing CandyCrush or MarioKart Tour or PokemonGO and run up annoying threads of banal conversation in the group chat for her little Family.

           Poor Nile’s caught between treating Andy and the others like people from her own tech-savvy generation and staring incredulously at a text message from Joe or Booker that reads more like the Constitution than like a plan for supper.

           Sometimes the long-windedness is meant to be a joke to confuse her, and sometimes they forget she doesn’t really know how to take that kind of thing very seriously anyway.

           It still turns out funny without any effort.

           All in all, the only thing Andy cares about is the safety of her Family. She’ll exploit whatever tech she can to ensure their happiness and security.

           The endless entertainment of YouTube is certainly a boon, but instantaneous wire transfers and multinational credit accounts are better.

           Andy may be an old lady who cannot be arsed to care what TikTok vid is trending, but she’s also a kick-ass pioneer whose VPN can keep the CIA and such from getting at all handsy with her nearly bottomless cash accounts.

           The thing about technology is that is less about how old you are than it is how consistently you’ve kept up with paying attention to the new developments— and with 6000 years of active learning under her belt, Andy’s got the patience to ensure that she always keeps herself perfectly up to date.

- - - - -

Historical Notes: 

[1] Mesopotamian cuneiform was developed circa 3200-3500 BC, an ‘alphabet’ of syllabic phenoms. [2] Semitic peoples in regions of Egypt and Phoenicia developed a truer form of alphabetic script, ca 2000~2500 BC [3] Zero popped up in Mesopotamia around 3000 BC, but it was recorded as a blank space. It got a symbol in accounting archives in approx. 2000 BC. [4] Girths appeared on the Kazakh Steppes around 700 BC. [5] Stirrups appeared, also on the Kazakh Steppes around 300 BC [6] Sun Tzu’s ‘Art of War’, published in the 5th century BC. [7] Something ~71,000 BC shows artistic representations of bows being made and used in dozens of cultures. [8] Recurved bows, the Scythian version in particular, began appearing regularly in ~500 BC. [9] ~850 CE, gunpowder was invented in China. [10] Windmills appeared in Persia around 950 CE, to both move water for irrigation and to grind down grains for flour. [11] Magnetic compasses appeared in China around 1044 CE. [12] The golden age of precious metalwork as a function high-art came in the 14~1500’s CE. [13] Gutenberg invented his moveable type press in 1436, but China and Korea had woodblock printing in 800 CE and had a thriving industry of fiction being published before the western world invented the concept of a fiction novel narrator (‘Tom Jones’, by Henry Fielding, published 1749 is the one of the earliest western examples). [14] Oil lamps appeared in the Middle East in 9000 BC. [15] Kerosene was derived in the 1840’s~50’s, it burns cleaner than natural oils, but is cheap enough to be used at obscenely excessive volume. So an individual dwelling wouldn’t be coated in black residue, but whole cities would be—and with the other kinds of air pollution… yeah. Country living looked real nice. [16] Edison’s light bulb was released in 1879 and Edison Electric had a working power plant established by 1882.

Author’s Notes: This fic is cross-posted on my Ao3 Account (PrettyMissKitty) and on my Patreon (Astyle_Alex). It’s the first of at least 3 (but probably many more) fics that I plan to post in this amazing fandom, written in a single sitting because I just could NOT contain myself after watching the awesomeness that is the Old Guard.

(And if you're curious as to what ELSE I am / should be working on, check out my schedule and project lists!): October 2020 Schedule: https://www.patreon.com/posts/current-project-42144611 Project Masterlist: https://www.patreon.com/posts/current-projects-30172736

[chronicbatfictioner]

Theater of the Soul - Chapter 6

They'd spoken in tongues around him, he'd heard. None of them knew that he understood them.

"<You crazy enough to take the boy away from him, you bastard, then you should be crazy enough to eliminate him!>"

He hadn't recognized the voice. But the language was Hispanic - a learned language, not a street- or birth-earned language. He'd suspected a white, upper-class somebody being there other than... than the horror that is the clown. He had not heard the reply, only that it was followed by a lot of loud noises. Ugly, loud noises. The last time he had heard those kind of noises, cops were later seen leaving the apartment next to his after taping the door with bright yellow ribbons.

And then he was leaving. He'd had no idea where to, or how. Just that he was leaving. Leaving all the noises behind. 

And there was a lot of blood in his line of sight. Only he wasn't sure if it was his line of sight or his own eyes. Maybe it had been him bleeding. Maybe he'd caused the bleeding, he couldn't be sure. He knew there were others - warm, soft bodies.

And then everything was cold and chilly again. There was so much pain, too. And he'd kept moving. Somehow, his brain had told him to keep moving, ignore the pain and just keep moving. That keep moving would be his best bet to survive.

Barbara's friends were... scary ladies, if anyone would ask Tim. Fortunately, no one would ask. And they looked... well, Dinah Lance and Helena Bertinelli looked like they'd just walked out of 'The Gladiator' movie set - almost complete with Roman gladiator garb. They were both tall, and even if Tim's brain said that Barbara would've been just as tall if not for her wheelchair, the two ladies still looked imposing to him.

The three of them, Tim thought, looked very colorful - with Barbara's flaming red hair and fair skin, Dinah Lance's platinum blonde hair and peachy-tan skin, and Helena Bertinelli's jet black hair and dark chocolate skin.

And yes, he did not hide his surprise well when Helena said that she was a primary school teacher. "Does that mean I'll have to call you Miss Bertinelli?" he asked, only half joking because he did feel like he was still in Primary School.

Helena was glaring at him, and Tim hoped that she would at least be amused.

"You're... what? Ninth grader?" she asked.

Tim frowned. "I've graduated high school last year." he scowled. Yes, he was small even for 15. But he still has time to get some much-needed growth spurts, surely. Like one or two - or a dozen.

She looked surprised. "Well! A genius, Barbara? Who'da thunk it." she smirked.

"I would. His grandpa was Jeremiah Galavan." Barbara said, almost smugly. "The guy who almost singlehandedly built the wastewater treatment plant in Gotham. Even when everyone was laughing at him. I'm not surprised that Tim has his brain."

"Here I am thinking that Bruce would only take people with high theatrical aptitude." Dinah Lance said.

"My parents were stage actors." Tim told her. "That's how I know Bruce. They... left me in his custody when they died."

"That's nice of them..." Helena quipped. "So close in the heels of..." then she paused.

"He didn't take me in to replace Jason!" Tim snarled. "I was officially adopted before Jason left!"

"He never take anyone to replace anybody," Dinah said, practically calming him. "Bruce takes orphaned children because of his own deep need to make sure you won't be lost in the system. Like some of his..." she paused and meet his gaze, "... earlier acquaintances." she finished. Tim suddenly got the thought that by 'acquaintances', she had meant herself.

"Matter at hand, ladies." Barbara reminded them.

"I'll go with the little genius bird." Helena stated, her voice sounded challenging.

Tim just sighed. He was not in the mood for arguing. It was already past 10.30 and he felt that they would be kind of wasting time if they were to argue on who rides with who. "Whatever." he said. "Can we go now? The addresses were arranged by location, anyway, and we've got some solid 33 thousand square miles to cover." he cringed inwardly, suddenly thinking just how small Gotham City suddenly felt.

"Relax, kiddo. We'll find him." Dinah patted his shoulder gently. "Bruce should've..." and she pressed her lips, willing herself not to say anything more.

"I don't disagree, Bruce should've asked for help back then. But that door is closed already. Now we move on." Barbara didn't snap, but her tone implied so. "We will find Jason. Even if it means knocking every damn door in the whole county of Los Angeles."

"Babs and I can start at the north side, from here onward to Antelope Valley areas." Dinah said. "You take the beaches?"

"Will do." Helena said.

"It's not like my wheelchair would be bothered with the beaches, you know." Barbara cocked her eyebrow at them. Her wheelchair was specially made - lacking the back handles because she didn't like to be pushed by anyone else; and has reinforced all-terrain wheels.

"Nothing to do with your wheelchair, hun. Southward are usually populated with family ones. While northward are veterans and otherwise." Dinah replied calmly. "They see your wheelchair and they'll be more inclined to talk than otherwise."

"Psychological query." Tim acknowledged.

"Yes, little bird, you got that right." Dinah gave him a finger-gun salute. Tim almost grinned.

Their plan for today was to prowl the homeless areas, as well as stopping by at Napier-owned buildings or whatever property he has. Tim was a little proud that Barbara did not shot down his suspicion that the reason Bruce hadn't been able to find Jason right off the bat would have been because Napier had somehow hidden Jason somewhere. He was not at any hospitals back then, and the only record of him showed that he was checked out of LA General Hospital a week after he was admitted. Bruce had even pulled all the stops by asking a load of favors from his friends to ask if any of the private rehab centers and/or hospitals would have had Jason there - to no avail.

Hence, really, Tim's suspicion that Napier was not what he appeared to be. Not 'merely' a stage critic, but was hiding something else. When the Harley Quinn club opened a mere few months after Jason went missing - based on the date of the accident and his last known whereabout as he was signed out of the hospital, Tim's suspicion was vindicated.

And his suspicion lead him to poke around the internet and unternet - the dark side of the web - to find out who the hell this Napier guy really is. Said poking around also provided him with a list of assets belonging to Napier, mostly in Los Angeles County area - much to his relief; a small number in Gotham. Dick would poke around at the Gotham ones - excluding Quinn's club - with Barbara's father, James Gordon, in the guise of finding a place for himself. James Gordon, the city's Mayor, would be a good smokescreen - no pun intended for his smoking habit, really - to hide their true purpose.

Tim has to begrudgingly admitted - albeit inwardly - that explaining the general gist of things to Helena was easier now that he has had time to mull it over and brainstorm it with Barbara. They have barely gotten a block away from the Penthouse when Tim's presentation of his theory finished.

"So how is it a brainiac kid like you get roped to the ever-glamorous world of showbiz?" Helena asked. "Yeah, I get it that your folks were in it. But you could've gotten yourself a scholarship somewhere, MIT? Ivy? I mean, why stay?"

Tim fiddled with the camera on his lap. The camera would be their cover story - building Helena's portfolio at interesting locations, or having her pretend to be a reporter if all else fails. "Why should I?" he asked.

"Why should you what?"

"Why should I go for technical stuff just because I'm a genius?" he pressed. "Why can't I be in arts, just because I can work out how a supercomputer works, or how a robot can move and walk and talk at the same time? Why can't I be a painter, or singer, or photographer?"

There was a few good seconds' worth of silence following Tim's questions, and he knew he'd stumped Helena.

"You're right. I actually never thought of it that way." she finally admitted. "Most of the kids in my school are average. There are a few with above-average intelligence, and they all tend to lean toward sciences."

"They do that because through science - things that has absolute, numerical and alphabetical quantifier - because they can prove their intellects through it. How about languages? Did you know that the English language - while the second most spoken language in the world, has significantly less amount of words? As in, it has only one word that defined art: 'work'. Bengali language has five, Russian has four, Arabic has five. That, to me, is interesting. Would you like to know how I found that out?" Tim asked, almost coyly.

"Okay, I'll bite. How did you find that out?"

"Jason Todd told me. People tend to think him stupid, just because he was a street urchin and didn't get to be schooled to show his academic skills. But he speaks five languages fluently. All of which he'd learned on his own by reading the books at the library. Is he not a genius, then?"

"Ah," she nodded. "I get it. There are many types of genius, and the more visible ones are those with science-based aptitude."

"Yes, that should answer your question on why I'm not interested with scholarships. I don't need them to do what I love. And what I love is--" Tim suddenly clamped his mouth shut, realizing his true motive in doing this. It has nothing to do with what he loved to do - taking photographs, sharing the printed evidence of things he could easily pull out from his memories with vivid details. Not because he'd wanted to 'save' Jason. Not because he didn't want to see Bruce upset and stressed.

He wanted to do this so that he could earn his place within the Wayne family. He wanted to prove that Bruce taking him was not a mistake. So that Jason would stop being mad at him. So that Jason would come home.

Before Helena could finish her questioning, thankfully, they were approaching their first target location,

[sending-the-message]

I've been wandering through Aokigahara Forest, where bodies hang all year long by Ra1n_Walker

Hi guys. This is going to be long, because I'll just be as thorough as possible. I don't think leaving out details will contribute to the story, so bear with me. Or don't… I was wondering how many of you are aware of the existence of this forest. The Sea of Trees, as they like to call it, or, on a less brighter note; Suicide Forest.

I have a mildly unhealthy obsession for the obscure and unsolved mysteries, which often leads me to venture to lost and forgotten places. Abandoned asylums, hotels, evil looking buildings. I love to scour the internet for strange occurences and events that seem to involve anything going from ghosts to murderers or aliens. People will believe anything to feel excitement.

I wouldn't call myself a believer. In fact, I think it's funny how people can get all serious and worked up about some weird theory that sounds creepy, but has not the slightest proof or link to a plausible explanation. What I do believe in is that people have a tendency to do some really fucked up things. Guess everyone knows to what extent, but the real atrocities are preferably kept a bit further in our daily lives and rather not thought of.

It litterally turns me on. I can get goosebumps hearing about gruesome scenes, imagining someone's pain or finding truly disturbing things. The 'this-song-makes-me-wanna-cry' type of goosebumps. I can't ever get enough. So I heard of this forest and read about it on the web. Reddit also has some accounts on this and there's even a few movies based on its reputation and stories (which I haven't seen yet as I don't want to ruin the experience) so it really isn't hard getting a bit educated about it. I had to fricking go there.

So that was that, and I was off to Japan only about a month later. I always thought Mount Fuji might be worth seeing and I definitely had a strong passion for the Japanese culture. And their anime and manga, obviously. Being on a plane towards my long awaited destination, I had enough time to go through the available information and read up on the forest. I probably read it all already, being the special person that I am, but it amused me. 

It definitely was a cool mystery anyway. The 'facts' were often disturbing and the assumptions made around the place were even more so. There's a few of those that really stuck with me that I think are thought provoking or at the very least interesting. I read about a lot of aspects. Locals would believe they could pin point the exact type of visitor to the woods.

There were the ones trying to snap pictures of Mount Fuji and its impressive base and flora around it. Some would go in there and hope to find something dark or scary. Thrillseekers if you will. And then there's the obvious type, the type that make the forest famous; the suicidals that don't plan on coming back out. What the fuck

The thing that struck me when I first heard about it is that it would have to be littered with corpses, seeing as over 75 people were found every year. Most of them hanged. They even reached over a hundred victims a few years back and decided to stop reveiling numbers to avoid making it more popular, thus resulting in more suicides. So yeah, there's a fricking cleanup crew. Every year locals search the forest for bodies or what's left of them.

According to what I'd read, they would drag decomposed bodies or parts of them, skeletons and personal belongings scattered around the sea of trees back to some kind of room where they'd store them. There's accounts of people staying in a room with the bodies, because according to local folklore, it would mean bad luck to leave those  alone.

I landed after a long flight and needed a good night's rest. I always admired people who were able to sleep on a plane, I was too nervous to achieve that. I'd never been too keen on flying and this time was no different. It felt good to get out of that bird. I called a cab and made my way to my hotel, about an hour drive from Shizuoka airport. I would've loved to chat with the driver and learn more than I already knew, but guess what. The dude didn't speak one word of English. 

"Yessir."

Good talk...

I dozed off in the car, face against the window and coat over my head to block out the light of the evening that still shone bright. When I woke up, the cab had stopped and I was in... Shimizu? My Japanese was about as good as the cab driver's English, so I didn't bother even trying to ask. I got out, stepped inside the hotel and was pointed to my room. I stayed there the whole evening to fall asleep quickly. Next day; alarm at 6am, breakfast with some documents and brochures to re-check my way to Aokigahara and what to look out for.

After speaking with the hotel clerk, whose English was good enough to be able to make out key words. It only took me half an hour before being on a train towards Mount Fuji. Shizuoka airport was about 80 miles from Aokigahara  and I was about half way going from where I was right then. An hour drive before getting there and I had to walk quite a bit before arriving at the area I was trying to get to, after even taking an extra bus.

And that's when I finally got to the place I had been looking forward to for the last weeks. I had Mount Fuji looking over me from the distance, like a titan contemplating the world beneath, and the forest of Aokigahara in front of me. The Sea of Trees. Suicide Forest... I was standing at the beginning of a path that lead into the woods. The path seemed to be an easy one to follow, it was clearly maintained regularly and countless footsteps were printed in the slightly muddy trail. Heart racing and adrenaline pumping, I took off hoping for adventure.

The path continued for much further than I had imagined and started twisting and turning the more I got into the forest. I knew it stretched about 13 miles and I wasn't helpless at all when it comes to navigating. I know how to use a compass and I have a good sense of awareness, so I never worried once. I just thought it was a bit weird that people tried to maintain this, as if they were trying to shake the woods' reputation and attract more tourists and less suicidals.

I have to say, after an hour or so, my surroundings felt a bit darker, a bit scarier if you will. One of the reasons for this is that there were multiple ways to go from the main trail. Dozens of paths leading deeper through the trees that were everywhere. I mean it's a forest, but goddamn this forest was dense. A lot of those paths were marked with a sign or a carving in a tree. Messages saying things I couldn't read, others in English saying life is precious and I shouldn't give in, a plea to return to the town and talk to someone... They really tried hard to stop you from killing yourself. Those signs were well intended, but I couldn't help thinking this shit was spooky and so out of place.

Honestly, it was creepy, but nothing I couldn't handle and definitely not enough to satisfy my need for excitement and adventure. I noticed more turns and twists in the trail I was following and I looked behind me on a few occasions just to make sure I kept my bearings. Plus, I was slowly getting a bit paranoid. The forest got darker the more I ventured in and I thought I heard footsteps every so often. Don't get me wrong, I love this. But yeah, shit gets scary when you go looking for it.

At one point, I decided I'd take a break and drink some water while checking the compass, just to be sure. And of course, my compass was acting up and desperately looking for north, while I looked at it and sighed. No biggie, I just have to turn around and follow the trail back, should I want to leave. Problem is, I turned around to find myself standing on an intersection. I had three possible directions to go and I doubted a little when wondering which one I came from. I couldn't remember seeing any paths starting from the one I was walking until then and I felt a lot less confident all of a sudden.

Shit

I was used to the feeling of panic rising and that was also part of the thrill I wanted to find every time I went looking for it. So I took some time to take in my surroundings and thought about what to do now. I hadn't seen anything really exciting so far and I was slowly doubting to go back. But the day wasn't over and I was dedicated to my trip. So I looked up to see if I could see the sun's position and nearly screamed like a girl. The foliage was way too dense to see through, only a small amount of light pierced through the canopy. But hanging practically right above me was a little girl, eyes missing and legs bitten off to the knees. Her head was hanging down rested on her chest and I gagged.

I jumped back and fell down, tripping over and hurting my wrist in the process. I cursed at myself while looking at the grim scene before me, but I can't say I wasn't excited. THIS was the thrill I liked and I was proud of myself for getting where I was trying to get, the small border between adrenaline and madness or insanity. But when you're looking at a dead body of a hanged little girl, there's some things you don't expect/want to happen, because you might just get a heart attack like I almost did.

"Hoshi."

Guys. No shit. I sharted then and there and I'm not even ashamed to admit it. It was the voice of a little girl that sounded like she was playing with her dolls or having an imaginary tea-party. Except she was having it in the middle of a dark forest all alone with a dead girl as a view... It came from right behind me and I turned around with eyes wide open and a scream ready to escape my mouth. There was no one there and I started to feel watched and incredibly nervous. I could hear rustling from behind me and I prayed. I wasn't superstitious, but I think I knew what was coming. I turned around and felt myself turn pale.

"We are the doo doo doO dOO DOOO you help me sir sir please sir for the I want to down down me or you"

The girl was still hanging in the trees when she said it and her empty eye sockets seemed to be shimmering in the dim light. Her mouth didn't move, but her head was straight up and looking forward, completely immobile. It was the most unsettling thing I'd ever experienced and I honestly stood there nailed to the ground, unable to think or move. I didn't understand the first word I heard coming from behind me, but what she was repeating now was so chaotic and abnormal that it scared the living shit out of me.

I stepped back even more and rubbed my eyes, hoping I was dreaming (which I definitely wasn't) and I tried to set my mind straight.

""We are the doo doo doO dOO DOOO you help me sir sir please sir for the I want to down down me or you"

This time it was MUCH louder and coming from much closer and I felt my heart pumping in my head, scared to open my eyes. When I did, I could've cried. The girl was now standing a few feet in front of me, pieces of flesh dragging behind her while her legs, or what was left of them, carried her lifeless body towards me. Saying the same thing over and over again with the rope still tied around her neck, tight.

I stood there watching her, never blinking. She was really frightening with her deep empty eye sockets, her mutilated body and the fact that she was so little. Despite all of that, the sensation of fear and the desire to run became less urgent. I started feeling more sad than scared. A girl that age committing suicide was just above me, it blew my mind and I couldn't shake the feeling this was wrong. Well, of course it was, but isn't it more than just weird to see such a young child here? I looked up and saw the rope going from her neck towards the canopy and realized what was bothering me that much. How the fucking fuck does that rope even get there.

Not kidding, the trees were high. Like, really high. You'd have to use machinery to get all the way up or be a damn good climber and I couldn't for the life of me picture this kid doing that. It was so high up I couldn't even exactly see where it was attached and when I looked back at her, she was holding out her hand as to motion me to grab it. I reluctently took a step forward and held out my hand, watching her getting closer.

Before I continue; what would you do?

Seriously. I'm nearly 30 years old, I'm the biggest horror fan I can think of and I have a tendency to question everything that doesn't have a reasonable explanation. So, what would you do?

I stood there watching her as she stopped in place and looked right back at me with those black, hollow eyes. Despite the obvious fucked-upness of the whole situation, I just couldn't shake the feeling I was having. Unable to explain it, I'd have to go with sheer empathy… This girl had to be, what? Six? Seven years old? I'm not a pro, so ten probably would've done it as well, but you get it. No kid this young should be thinking about suicide, nor should a girl this young be here in a forest so dark and dense you can't hear any birds or other animals. I only heard the sound of the wind rustling through the leaves as I looked at the first person I encountered in these woods; a girl that was so young and looked so innocent that I got sick thinking about the undeniable fact she was here. In these woods that carried its name so clearly and casually, forgotten forever.

"Hoshi."

That word snapped me back to my senses instantly and made me feel like I lost something that I never had. Who the fuck leaves a kid in here, or who the fucking fuck makes a kid feel so bad that it makes her ending up here with a rope around its neck in the Aokigahara forest? Or where the fuck ever. So I don't know what you would do, but tears were almost running down my face when I practically lunged forward and grabbed her hand as firmly as I could.

I guess the world stopped

I was somewhere else, feeling like someone else and thinking like someone else. I was afraid.

If only…

I was scared as I had never been before. The world around me was pitch black and I couldn't hear anything but my frantic screams and the drumming of my blood pumping in my brain, making me feel like I was going to explode. The feeling I had persisted until a loud bang made me jump up and nearly gave me a heart attack.

My blindfold was taken away and the light that attacked my face stung like a thousand wasps. The smack on my jaw made sure I wasn't distracted by the stinging of the air in my nostrils and also made me open my burning blue eyes to watch what was causing me to feel like this.

The guy I was watching looked far too happy to be sane.

I was sitting down in a corner of a room, hands tied behind my back to a chain that was attached to a radiator, the only thing in the room besides me. My wrists were on fire and I saw my little feet twisting in front of me as I cowarded backwards against the wall, trying to escape his filthy hands. The knife in his right hand was all the more threatening when he grabbed my neck with his left and started applying pressure.

Panic, fear, anger, loss, despair. Those are but a fraction of the emotions flooding me at that time and I wouldn't even know how to begin to describe the rest of them. As if the lack of oxygen wasn't enough, the pressure on my neck felt like it was going to make it snap and the fact that my legs were everywhere and arms flailing made sure to make me lose all hope. The world went dark with the last image of a lunatic smiling at me as I drew my last breath.

Then I woke up

I was in the middle of the forest at an intersection and it didn't take me more than a few seconds to realize I was right where I was before I started dreaming. Panicked, I turned to look around me and above me, only to see I was alone in the woods. But the fucking rope was there. Right in front of me, where the girl had been standing, there was a rope on the ground heading deeper into the woods.

Safe to say everything was already fucked up and I didn't even think straight when I bent over to grab it and started following it into the forest.

Stay. The fuck. Out of there.

Guys, I followed it and walked for an hour (approximately) and from the very first minute I was surrounded by a sea. Not of trees, but bodies. Kids hanging from trees, some mutilated, some unharmed as if they were sleeping. Others decomposed to almost nothing but bones, fallen down as their ropes were still ominously hanging from the invisible canopy… it kept going for as long as I was. When I got to the end of the rope and thought I'd shed every tear and consumed all the fear that was hidden inside me, I was standing in the middle of a clearing and looking at a guy.

An asian guy standing by some kind of enormous plastic bag and hoisting something up in the trees with a rope. I started shivering and I felt like all power was taken away from me when I saw an arm sticking out if the bag. The boy he was hanging couldn't have been older than five and the fact I was watching this as if I'd be watching a street musician suddenly put me in a mood I hadn't yet been in.

Tears running down my face and legs unable to take a step in whatever direction, I felt a hand grabbing a hold of mine. The little girl, the one I could watch now without being scared, the one that showed me and asked for help was standing next to me. Although they were blue, she didn't have eyes, but her smile was worth a thousand words.

What happened next took five minutes at the most.

I anonymously notified the police when I found my way back out of the forest almost a full day later and I went back home immediately. I know that nobody there likes to talk about the reputation of the forest and I know that other things have been covered up, so I have no way of knowing what happened or if anything got done.

Don't fucking touch children, because I might be the last thing you see. I looked up what she said -hoshi- and I guess she meant hoshii… I'm not Japanese so I might be wrong, but I believe she wanted/needed someone to help her