#I miss them and I miss the me around them and I miss our relationship
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My Home : ̗̀➛ Carlos Sainz
summary: the journey of how your long distance relationship is reunited once again 🛬
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liked by charles_leclerc, ynusername and 892,742 others
carlossainz55: day 50 of missing my best friend and all the little ordinary things that she somehow made feel extraordinary ✨⛅️
42,068 comments
username1: it’s so impressive how these two make long distance work so well 🥹
ynusername: can’t wait to come home and be back with you again 💞
carlossainz55: @/ynusername just a few more days to go amor 🥺
username2: is it bad that I’m also counting down the days until they’re reunited again??
danielricciardo: you two are incredible managing to keep things going even though you’re so far apart 👏🏻
username3: carlos always knows how to break our hearts with a soft caption 💔
charles_leclerc: you’ve managed to do a really subtle job of letting us all know how much you miss her 😂
username4: the fact that he trusts her enough to cook with her too…
alexandrasaintmleux: if it makes you feel any better I also can’t wait for yn to be home 🥳
username5: can’t wait for these two to be back together again and blessing us with content!
landonorris: I keep telling you that we can go for coffee together but you don’t listen!
carlossainz55: @/landonorris there are certain things that just aren’t the same with you 🫢
username6: 50 whole damn days since we last saw the dream team side by side 😭
georgerussell63: and here I am thinking a week is a long time to be without my girl…
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liked by carlossainz55, lilyzneimer and 113,048 others
ynusername: day 64 of being away from your handsome face. can’t wait for beach days like these once again soon 🩵
15,897 comments
username7: sorry yn but do you expect me to be okay after posting that middle photo!?
charles_leclerc: btw he’s had a countdown going down on his phone everyday since you left 😂
ynusername: @/charles_leclerc embarrassed to say I’ve got one too, on my home screen as well 😊
username8: please someone just end their suffering already and reunite them 💕
maxverstappen1: pls come and get your man soon, fed up of dealing with his lovesick whining 😝
username9: how anyone could survive being away from that handsome face is beyond me 😂
landonorris: just to clarify, you’re talking about carlos’ handsome face…you never know, it could be mine 😇
ynusername: @/landonorris as happy as I am to see you soon, it’s definitely carlos’ 😂
username10: he really is the definition of a soft boyfriend isn’t he…
alexandrasaintmleux: cannot wait to see your beautiful face opposite me at a coffee table soon ☕��
username11: over two months they’ve been apart and now in a matter of days they’ll be together again, like a fairytale ✨
carlossainz55: home is ready and waiting for you, as are my open arms 🫂🥰
ynusername: @/carlossainz55 I can’t wait to be back in your hold again 😍
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 128,069 others
ynusername: race day -1, settling down for my last race away from home, you got this darling ❤️🏎️
17,492 comments
carlossainz55: sorry that I couldn’t bring home the win love, maybe next time when you’re back there with me 💞
ynusername: @/carlossainz55 ik you were secretly holding on so I got to be there in person 😂❤️
username12: I can’t begin to tell you how happy this post makes me knowing you’ll be home soon 🥺
username13: now this is the kinda setup I need for race day!!
carmenmmundt: wish I was there to snuggle under that blanket with you
lilymhe: @/carmenmmundt I’ve already bagsied the blanket for movie night when yn’s home 😘
username14: notice how it’s carlos in the lead with yn watching too ☺️
charles_leclerc: thank god I don’t have to deal with his moping around without you for anymore races 🙌🏻
georgerussell63: petition for you to make hot chocolate for all of us when you’re back in the paddock too 😏
ynusername: @/georgerussell63 not a chance with how needy you guys are 😂
username15: it’s adorable how yn has always made sure to be watching the races even though she’s away with work
landonorris: I’ve lost count of how many times he’s told me that you’ll be at the next race, he’s so excited yn!!
username16: their interactions somehow melt my heart every single time they update 🫠
danielricciardo: on behalf of every driver, please save us from carlos telling us how much he misses you constantly asap
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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, oscarpiastri and 1,583,293 others
charles_leclerc: my last few days of filling the large yn shaped hole that has been in my sweetie’s life ❤️🥹
104,587 comments
username17: I’m not ready to say goodbye to this pairing soon 😭
ynusername: thank you for taking such great care of my best friend leclerc ❤️
username18: charles has somehow become carlos’ emotional support system over the past couple of months lmao
danielricciardo: I also don’t think I’m stable enough for this bromance to end just yet…
username19: I’m sure yn is beyond grateful for the fact that carlos has had you by his side charles
carlossainz55: what would I do without my honey right by my side!?
username20: I’ve got high expectations for alex next time yn has to go on a work trip 😂
landonorris: guessing that carlando means nothing to you anymore then @/carlossainz55
carlossainz55: @/landonorris every time I came to you you just laughed in my face remember?? 🙄
username21: why do I get the feeling yn is coming home just to be a third wheel…
alexandrasaintmleux: can you boys just get a room and have done with it please 🤦🏻♀️
charles_leclerc: @/alexandrasaintmleux just tell us you’re jealous without telling us you’re jealous
username22: the way he just calls him sweetie as if that’s the norm 🥹
alex_albon: please come and meet me to pass on all your tips and advice for next year 😂
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liked by charles_leclerc, fernandoalo_oficial and 129,573 others
ynusername: day 1 of being back in my favourite place on earth…home 🏡❤️
21,958 comments
carlossainz55: the house finally feels like a home again with you back inside 💕
username23: I can’t believe they’re finally back together again, this is so exciting!!
charles_leclerc: welcome home yn!! can’t wait to catch up with you this weekend!!
username24: apparently carlos was front of the line at arrivals making sure he got to her as quick as he could 😭
scuderiaferrari: we’re looking forward to welcoming you back into the garage this weekend ❤️
ynusername: @/scuderiaferrari can’t wait to catch up with the whole team and watch a race again!!
landonorris: I’m happy you’re reunited but I’m more happy that he’s finally gonna have a smile on his face again
username25: the way he carries her suitcase so effortlessly has me all kinds of giddy
georgerussell63: welcome back to monaco, we’ve all missed you so much!
username26: I’ve never been more excited for two people that I don’t even know…
maxverstappen1: he cancelled our game of padel today for this…I’ll let him off just this once 😂
ynusername: @/maxversrappen1 if you ask carlos he’ll say it’s definitely worth it 😂
username27: this means we finally get to see yn back at race weekend again 🎉
alexandrasaintmleux: I need to see you asap, missed you so much 💞
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liked by scuderiaferrari, carlossainz55 and 124,068 others
ynusername: reunited with my second home, I forgot how good red looked on me. good luck to the best team on the grid this weekend, so happy to be back and cheer you on in person 🫶🏻☺️
22,604 comments
username28: damn we really did miss seeing you at a race weekend yn 🏎️
carlossainz55: you have no idea how happy I am to have you back with me again 💞
ynusername: @/carlossainz55 I bet it’s just as happy as I am to be back with you and the team again ✨
username29: hoping for a great result this weekend now that carlos has you back again
landonorris: patiently waiting for you to come and visit me, or do you plan on betraying me like carlos did??
ynusername: @/landonorris I promise I will come and see you at some point this week 🫂
username30: what are we supposed to do when red no longer is your colour next year??
danielricciardo: you must be pretty close to trying on every colour of the grid now 😂
carmenmmundt: um excuse me there better be a carmen plan somewhere in your schedule for this weekend 👀
username31: the camera somehow focused on you more than the cars in quali today 😂
oscarpiastri: it was lovely to finally meet you after hearing SO SO many stories about you!
ynusername: @/oscarpiastri I can only apologise for how much he talks about me ☺️
username32: the moment we’ve all been waiting for for so long 🤩
username33: please never leave us for a race weekend without you ever again!!
charles_leclerc: this has by far already been my most peaceful race weekend in a very long time all thanks to you!!
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liked by landonorris, ynusername and 1,048,271 others
carlossainz55: turns out my lucky charm really was the missing piece all along. thank you my love for coming back home and bringing me the luck I needed to be top of the podium again 🏆😍
89,473 comments
username34: does this mean that yn is never allowed to leave for a race ever again???
charles_leclerc: couldn’t be prouder of the race you put together this weekend, good job sweetie!!
username35: we’re all so proud of you carlos and your lucky charm 🫶🏻
scuderiaferrari: congratulations on such an amazing result carlos, the whole team is so proud of you ❤️🏎️
username36: he really was waiting for the moment for when yn could be there to celebrate too 😭
georgerussell63: that was incredible, saving your best for your girlfriend I see 😉
alex_albon: smashed it my friend, there was no catching you today 🚀
username37: this weekend has just reminded me just how much I adore these two humans!!
landonorris: buzzing to see you back where you belong on that top step mi amigo
username38: yn has to stick around forever now if she’s a lucky charm!
danielricciardo: it’s funny the effect a loved one can have isn’t it!? we all knew you were racing just to impress yn anyway 😂
username39: this weekend really couldn’t have gone more perfectly 😭
ynusername: I didn’t think you were being serious when you said you were waiting for me 😂
carlossainz55: @/ynusername a race win isn’t a win without you by my side 💕
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˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x you#formula one#f1 reaction#formula one imagine#carlos sainz smau#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz#formula x reader#formula 1 social media#formula one x reader#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#f1 fluff#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 x you
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hello! hope you’re okay after the ending, honestly I don’t think any of us are.
I wanted to request a rafe x pogue reader where it’s that boat storm scene and instead of Sarah falling it’s reader and she’s just drowning and Rafe jumps in after her. He doesn’t know why he did it but he just has a soft spot for her and it’s just really angsty but also cute.
thanks! I love your account btw!
In The Sea
Summery: the anon
Words: 2.5k
Warnings: grammar mistakes
A\N: thank you to everyone who has been requesting it makes me very happy xxx
You stand at the edge of the deck, clutching the railing as the boat rocks, waves rolling against the hull. The salty breeze whips your hair around your face, and the peaceful ocean sounds made you think about the current situation.
You didn't expect Rafe to save you and your friends from being arrested, much less expect him to find a boat big and resistant enough to drive you all to Morocco Africa to find the blue crown. It was truly a surprise considering you and Rafe's history.
“So what? Are we just on our way to Africa now?” Kiara asked the group as if she couldn't believe that Rafe Cameron was willingly helping them.
“Quick little weekend trip?” She added to her previous sentence.
“What about Rafe? We know what he did to the cross and now we want to go after the crown with him?” You and the rest of the pogue's lips go into a thin line at the memory.
“Sarah, you're his family, how do deal with him” John B said, finding no other options.
“I don't- I don't know, I think maybe y/n might have a chance of convincing him to behave but..” she shrugged and you felt the stares of your friends burn holes through you. Your past relationship with him was a secret to nobody.
“We- we just have to talk to him, or at least try” You proposed earning a frown from JJ.
“Talk to Rafe? When has he ever just communicated with us?”
“Talking to him is the only option we have, but you're definitely not talking with him,” John B said and as expected everyone nodded and hummed, agreeing. JJ was in no place to talk with Rafe.
“Why not? What did I do?” He asked, getting almost frustrated.
“We all know you and him are far from being civil, the last thing we need is you triggering him and causing trouble” His girlfriend, Kiara, tried to explain the easiest way but he still got defensive. After a couple of bickering from JJ and John b You finally decide to go speak with him, who was driving the boat not too far away from the deck.
“Hey,” You knock on the metal and rusted door before entering and walking up to him. His eyes catch yours and there's a tension between the two of you. But Rafe only tilts his head to acknowledge you.
You swallow, feeling the weight of his stare. "We just want to talk," you say, steadying your voice as the rest of your friends beside JJ follow behind you.
“All right let's talk” Rafe chuckles, and it’s low, almost a whisper.
Your mind goes almost blank as you take him in, you haven't been this close since you were forced in the same room by Sighs men last year. You had almost forgotten how much you missed him.
“You guys be cool I'll be cool” His voice snapped you out of your daydream, realizing you had missed a bit of the conversation.
“So now you want peace?” Pope leaned back and scoffed, not believing a word that came out of his mouth.
“I just saved all your asses, how about a thank you?” He glanced at all of you one by one, but he only earned silence,
“Listen I don't want any part of your little fairytale treasure hunt bullshit, I'm just looking for Groff” He’s breathing heavily, holding himself back from adding more snark,
“Hey, Rafe!” Before anyone can react, JJ’s fist flies through the air, cracking against Rafe’s jaw with a force that echoes.
Rafe’s head snaps back, his expression stunned for a split second before he crumples, hitting the hard metal floor. For a moment, everyone is frantic, staring at the lifeless form sprawled across the floor, his eyes closed, completely knocked out.
“holy shit”
“Jesus JJ what's your problem”
“Whoo that felt good” Tired of JJ's crazy actions the girls walk away shaking their heads in disbelief until you are the only one staying behind.
JJ stands over him, breathing heavily, the adrenaline still pulsing through him as he looks down at Rafe. His fist is red, already bruising, but he doesn’t seem to care.
“What is wrong with you?” You look at him, feeling a rush of shock mixed with panic. You fall to your knees next to Rafe and quickly look over his injuries, softly rubbing your thumb on his jaw. “If he didn't do it I was going to do it” Pope added only worsening the situation. You shook your head and furrowed your eyebrows at his sentence.
After the pogues agreed it was probably not a good idea to let Rafe free in case he woke up and decided to shoot you all with his “peacemaker” you tied him up in a small cabin. His head hung low, his wrists were bound to a stainless steel pole and his legs were uncomfortably folded beneath him. Your heart clenched at the sight of him but still decided to leave him there until he woke up.
You open the door to the cabin slowly with a tray of warmed-up canned spaghetti in hand, it wasn't the best but it was all the boat had.
“I brought you food..” You whispered before bending down to place the tray in front of him.
“great” he sighed.
“I found aspirin in the medicine cabinet, I figured you'd have a headache, maybe even a concussion”
“Right… are you gonna throw it in my mouth like a seal or something” He scoffed again clearly angered,
“They don't trust you Rafe… but if you do the right thing maybe they will open up a little bit”
“I am doing the right thing! I helped you” He tried pulling against the restraints but failed.
“I know okay? I know but unfortunately, I don't have a choice but to let you in here until we get there, I'm sorry” you whispered and pushed the tray closer to him. “Please eat,” You said and left closing the large door behind you.
For a moment you stayed behind the door listening closely. “Y/N come back!” he grunts and kicks his feet on the ground. “Fucking untie me please!!” he screamed and you jumped when you heard the tray you had just put down on the floor fly into the wall.
Pope leaning over the side, is the first to spot the flicker of movement beneath the water. "Guys! I see one!" exclaims, his voice a mixture of excitement and focus. He scrambles for the fishing rod, almost knocking over the tackle box in his rush.
John B is right beside him, laughing. “We've got our dinner!" he laughs.
“Guys, this one’s huge!” Kie giggles with the boys knowing we were all set for dinner time tonight.
You all spent the rest of the day cooking the fish you caught and preparing side dishes with some good music in the background.
Until it was time for Rafa's second meal.
You open the door carefully and his eyes catch yours, this time you don't speak, simply set the tray of seasoned salmon down in front of him.
Has you were about to close the door you hear him.
“Wait, y/n. Can you please- can you give me the fork” his tone is much softer than before so you can't deny him.
You get down and pick up the utensil his bound hands couldn’t reach.
“Thank you” He murmured, and you barely heard him as you closed the door behind you once again.
The sky darkens ominously as thunder rumbles in the distance, low and threatening. Waves crash harder against the hull of the boat, tossing it with a force that leaves you gripping onto anything within reach. The storm monitor flashes red to show the storm coming ahead of you.
“That's not good,” John B says.
“We're gonna have to try to blast through it,” Pope says, not finding any better options.
“Why can't we go south?” Kie asks genuinely.
“The current is gonna be against us we don't have a choice” John B agreed even after trying to find safer options, the boat's roar has Pope push the lever controlling the engine to the max.
The waves make the boat shift side to side making it difficult to stay up and steady.
Another massive wave crashes over the side, drenching them all, and you lose your footing, sliding across the deck until Kie grabs your arm, pulling you back.
“Hold on to something” Kie yells at you pope and Sarah and you all grip onto the nearest thing.
“Hey!” a distant voice echoes through the walls.
“Cut me loose! Y/N! Somebody!” Rafe screamed and banged his fists on the wall.
“Get me out of here!” Everyone listens but doesn't move a finger.
“We have to let him out” You scramble to your feet but jerk back when Cleo grabs your wrist.
“No!” she says trying to stop you but you pulled back.
“He's gonna drown” You pull open rapidly the drawers trying to find something sharp, able to cut the thick ropes wrapped around Rafe's hands.
The storm is relentless, its fury tossing you around like a rag doll as you try to reach him.
You cling to the railing, struggling to stay upright as the boat lurches violently, nearly sending you sprawling across the floor. Your legs buckle under you. You come crashing through the door and walk onto the water-soaked floor knife in hand.
“Cut me loose” he begs.
Crouching in front of him you began frantically cutting the rope. Your muscles burn with how much pressure you're using.
“Shit,” You say when a sudden jerk of the boat makes your face come inches apart from his, lips almost touching. You don't have time to think as you regain your balance and continue cutting the bounds.
“There! Come on” you yelled and quickly grasped his hands to pull him up from the floor.
You both run to shelter but the boat jerks side to side even more violently,
“Something is wrong I have to go see!”
“No!” Rafe tried holding on to you but you were already rushing away onto the deck where waves came crashing, a massive wave rose out of the dark, towering over the boat like a shadow.
You barely had time to think before it crashed down, an icy, unforgiving wall of water that slammed into you with the force of a sledgehammer. The impact was too strong and you were thrown backward, landing hard on the deck. Pain explodes through your shoulder, the wind knocks from your lungs. Dazed and gasping, you try to get up, but the boat tips again, and before you can stand, another wave strikes.
This one is worse, merciless, catching you just as you struggle to rise. Your fingers graze the edge of the railing, but the slick metal slips through your grasp. In an instant, the world spins as you are thrown away from the boat, the cold, raging ocean swallowing you whole.
The water is a shock, freezing and chaotic, disorienting you as you plunge beneath the surface. You thrash, fighting to reach the surface, lungs burning, but the waves toss you back and forth, each effort to rise met with another rush of icy water.
Back on the boat, Rafe catches a glimpse of you disappearing over the side, and his heart stops. “Y/N!” he screams, panic cutting through the storm. Without a second thought, he scrambles to the railing, nearly slipping himself as he peers out into the dark, searching for any sign of you.
“Where is she!” Sarah came rushing to her brother
“She fell overboard” he yells already reaching for a rope with the floating boyee. He’s soaked, exhausted, and barely steady, but there’s no hesitation as he jumps in after you.
“Rafe no!” She screams after her brother.
A wave slams into Rafe. “Y/N!!” he yells in the water as he sees you trying to stay above the water far away.
With the last of your strength, You swim faster and harder towards Rafe and reach out when you're near, fingers brushing his arm, grasping it tight. Rafe holds you with everything he has.
“I got you” But you don't hear him in the storm.
You both hold on to each other your arms around his neck and his around your waist as the boat floats away and the night turns into a void.
“Hey, open your eyes, look at me” You feel gentle hands grasping on your face as you finally sit up coughing out the water that filled your lungs.
“That's it” The hands rub your back in a comforting way.
The sand is hot beneath you, warming up your skin, and with exhaustion, you fall onto Rafe's chest.
“Hey you okay?” panicked, he grabs onto your shoulder and pushes you a little bit to take a good look at your face.
“You jumped after me,” you whispered.
“Of course I did” You look up at him, heart pounding, feeling a rush of gratitude, fear, and something deeper—something that’s been smouldering beneath the surface, unspoken, for far too long. Your eyes shine with tears, not sad and not happy either but grateful.
His hand reaches up, brushing a strand of wet hair from your face, his fingers lingering against your skin. His touch is warm, and grounding, and you feel your heart racing even faster under his gaze, intense and unreadable, like he’s seeing you for the first time.
Without another thought, you lean in, closing the space between the two of you as you press your lips to his, a spark igniting into a wildfire the moment you connect. Rafe’s surprise melts away instantly, and he kisses back, fierce and unrestrained, his hands finding your waist.
The kiss is charged, fueled by adrenaline, and a longing that neither of you can deny any longer. Your hands find his shoulders, clinging to him, grounding you in his warmth, his strength, the feel of his heartbeat thundering beneath your touch.
Rafe’s fingers trail up your back, sending shivers along your spine, and his lips move against yours with an urgency that speaks of everything left unspoken.
When you finally pull apart, breathless, Rafe’s forehead rests against yours, his eyes searching yours as he lets out a shaky laugh, almost in disbelief.
“You saved my life” you smile, brushing a thumb over his cheek, still feeling the warmth of his kiss lingering on your lips. “I love you, I've always loved you” you whisper, and before you know it, you're kissing again, the ocean waves crashing nearby, the world forgotten as you lose yourselves in each other.
“I never stopped loving you,” he whispered.
Send request xxx
#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe outer banks#outer banks#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron x pogue!reader#rafe cameron#rafe obx
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Home At Last
Pairing — Yoon Jeonghan x afab!Reader x Choi Seungcheol
Summary — Jeonghan couldn't wait coming home to his loved ones. Especially when this was what was waiting for him...
Genre — smut, established relationship, idol!au
Warnings — penetrative sex, unprotected sex (be safe babes), fingering, heavy makeout session, tell me if i missed sumn
Word Count — 1.1k
Rating — nsfw
Disclaimer: this fic is written and copyrighted by ©soo0hee on tumblr. do not rewrite or repost on any other plattforms without my permission.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!
A/N — This was very heavily inspired by one of the daily thot discussions i had with @svtiddiess , you're welcome babe and no, i still can't write smut ;D
Shivering, your eyes fell shut. The gentle touch of Jeonghans fingers trailing down the skin of your back, slow and barely there, down your spine as you stood in the middle of your bed room.
The giant window gave you an amazing view of the city of Seoul. A view you weren’t able to concentrate on at the moment.
Dressed only in the dress shirt of one of your boyfriends and a black pair of lace underwear you had their focus solely on you.
“God you drive me insane my love…” Jeonghan whispered against the shell of your ear, making you swallow down the breathy moan that had threatened to escape. “Such a good girl for us, our lovely baby…”
“Hannie…” you whined, not able to form coherent words when his lips met the sensitive skin of your neck. Dark marks were covering your throat, blooming in a beautiful combination of blue and purple Seungcheol had left just a few hours before.
The rapper was watching his lovers with dark eyes from the bed, perched up against the headboard and a hard on standing tall in his boxers.
“Always so good for us.” He almost growled and you swore you could feel your knees shaking at his raspy tone.
“Did you miss me, baby? Missed how my fingers felt while I was away?” Jeonghan pressed another kiss to your throat, arms wrapping around your form from behind.
You nodded quickly.
Yes, you had.
Not having Jeonghan for the last few weeks had taken a toll on you. Of course you had Seungcheol but both you and the leader knew that your little trio was only really complete when it was the 3 of you.
And now that he had finished his base training, he was finally home again.
Seungcheol hadn’t told you about Jeonghan coming home, wanting to surprise you and god did he not regret it. The happy spark that brightened your eyes when Jeonghan walked in were well worth it.
“Good, because I missed you too.”
He stirred you towards the bed.
Seungcheol thoroughly enjoyed the sight. His shirt hanging off of your shoulders and his boyfriend kissing every inch he could reach while leading you to him had his dick twitching.
He reached for your hand, waiting for you to take it.
“Hello pretty girl.” He hummed watching you crawl on the bed and to him. He groaned when you settled on his lap, pantie clad pussy settling right on his dick. The thin fabric of your and his underwear the only thing separating you.
Jeonghan shrugged of the black silk robe he had been wearing, revealing his naked body underneath before joining you and his leader and lover. The shirt you were wearing fell to the floor beside the bed.
You moaned, the friction of you grinding against Seungcheol sent heat up your spine and caused another loud tortured groan from them man underneath you.
“Do you hear that, my love? Hear how good you’re making Cheol feel?” Jeonghan mumbled against your skin, never quite stopping his kisses while cupping your breast from behind, thumb flicking against your nipples.
You keened into the kiss you shared with Seungcheol.
“Please fuck me?” you gasped out, soaking wet.
Both men chuckled and let their eyes meet over your shoulder.
“Do you hear that Hannie? Our baby want us to fuck her… think we can do that?”
Jumping out of your skin when Jeonghan cupped your damp pussy with his hand, fingers rubbing your clit through your panties. “Can’t wait to be inside of our good girl again. Missed fucking her so much.”
The way they talked to each other like you weren’t even there left you breathless. Like you were nothing but a dumb toy for them to use as they pleased.
Soon you were all three stark naked, Seungcheols dick fucking into you with vigor. His big hands on your waist, helping you bounce on him with Jeonghan enjoying the show, hand jerking himself and raveling in the noises that left your mouth at having your boyfriend hit that special spot inside you dead on with every thrust of his hips.
Your high pitched, breaths paired with Seungcheouls low grunts was music to his ears.
Jeonghan felt himself grow impatient.
He had been away for weeks, depriving himself of the sweet noises you made when they had you falling apart in between you. Depriving himself of the faces of pure pleasure you made when him and his boyfriend had you at their mercy. Depriving himself of the warmth he felt when he was with the 2 people he love most…
“Think you can handle us both baby?”
You whined when the leader stopped thrusting, eyes snapping over to Jeonghan who was watching you like you were his pray.
“Of course she can, right sweet girl?” Seungcheol said and lifted you of his member to turn you around before sinking back into you.
He knew that Jeonghan wanted to see your face when he fucked you and he was unwilling to deprive the other of this pleasure.
Jeonghan finally claimed your mouth with his. His kiss oh so different compared with your other boyfriend but just as hot. Where Seungcheol was wild and rough, Jeonghan was sinful and sensual, a mix that balanced each other so well that you felt like you could cum just thinking about it.
“Ready?” he asked and lined his dick alongside his partners before slowly pushing in. Your head fell back at the sensation of being split open on 2 cocks simultaneously.
You felt Seungcheols hand on your thoat and clenched around them both, causing them to moan loudly at the sensation, making Jeonghan lose his cool and thrust in. The wetness between your legs making it a smooth glide and you almost came on the spot.
“Ah-hh, mommy pl-lease!” you pleaded for them to ruin you.
Neither of the men could hold themselfes back anymore. They started ghrusting with a sense of desperation they hadn’t felt in a while and you reached for something to hold onto while being at their complete mercy for the moment.
They could feel you tightening around them, thrusts growing erratic as all 3 of you hurtled towards your releases.
“Cum for Mommy and Daddy.”
Hearing Seungcheol rasp into your ear was like opening the flood gates. You came hard, followed right by them spilling their seed deep into your pussy while riding out the high.
Drops of sweat had started collecting on your forehead, yet neither of them hesitated to place calming kisses to the skin there as they showered you with praise.
“Did so well, for us. Such a good girl, taking both of us like a champ.”
“You’re finally home…”
Both smiled down at you and Jeonghan sighed in relief. The stress of the last weeks falling of his shoulders.
“Yes, I am.”
#the diamond life network#k-library#k-vanity#k-labels#seventeen#choi seungcheol#yoon jeonghan#choi seungcheol x reader#choi seungcheol x y/n#choi seungcheol x you#yoon jeonghan x reader#yoon jeonghan x you#yoon jeonghan x y/n#choi seungcheol imagines#yoon jeonghan imagines#seventeen x reader#seventeen x y/n#seventeen x you#choi seungcheol smut#yoon jeonghan smut#seventeen smut#seventeen imagines
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Suguru's NNN
tags: established relationship, child mention, breastfeeding
How long he lasted: 16 days
"She's asleep," you said while walking into the living room, seeing Suguru sitting on the couch - exhausted after a long day. "Thank you," he said sighing softly "I couldn't make her fall asleep." You walked over to him, getting on your knees between his legs and resting your chin on the sofa, "She had a bad day in the daycare." He hummed while caressing your hair, "I know what you're trying to do but I told you that I'm not losing this year, ok?" You huffed while your hands undone his pants, sliding them down to reveal his huge erection. "Suguru, is me getting on my knees in front of you enough to get you that hard after two weeks? Besides, a little bit of me touching you won't be that bad, right?" you asked amused gently poking his hardness, looking at the wet strings of his pre-cum slowly running down.
A smirk tugged at the corner of your mouth as you took in his obvious arousal. "Looks like someone missed their little wifey so much," you teased, stroking him lightly. Suguru's eyes closed, his hand gripping the sofa, "You know that I want to finish this year's No Nut November, so please stop." Despite his tone, his cock twitched under your touch, betraying his needs. You nodded, your voice in a soft teasing tone, "But I've missed you too, and our Peanut is finally asleep." With that, you leaned in and took the tip of his dick into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the sensitive head and tasting the salty sweetness of his pre-cum. He groaned, his hips jerking slightly as you began to suck. The warmth of your mouth enveloped him, and he could feel his resolve slipping away as the sensation grew more intense with each passing moment. The room was filled with the sounds of wet, sloppy blowjob, and his deep, needy moans, filled the living room.
You felt his cock twitching in your mouth, the taste of his pre growing stronger as you teased the tip with your tongue. His grip on the sofa tightened, and you knew he was close to breaking. With a mischievous smile, you stopped just before he could cum, pulling back and leaving him panting and desperate for more. Standing up, you pulled up your nightgown, revealing your naked leaking pussy to him. Suguru's eyes widened as you straddled his lap, your wet pussy hovering over his throbbing erection. "You won't leave your lovely wifey in need, right?" you whispered, guiding him inside you. He groaned as you began to ride him, taking him deep and slow, your breasts bouncing with every movement. The feeling was amazing, and he could feel his self-control slipping away as you slid up and down, your wetness coating him. "I want to feel you cum inside me," you moaned, increasing your pace and grinding against him.
Suguru couldn't take it anymore; the sight of your wet pussy and the feel of your warm, tight embrace around his cock was too much. His eyes snapped open and he stared into yours. He reached up, cupping your breasts in his big hands, kneading them gently before bringing one to his mouth and latching on to your nipple. You gasped at the sudden sensation, your hips jolting against his. His tongue flicked against the sensitive bud before he began to suck, drawing it into his mouth and tasting delicious milk that filled his mouth. The feeling was intoxicating, and you leaned back into him, giving him better access as you rode him faster. Your moans grew louder, echoing in the quiet room while you tried to keep them down.
"Oh, fuck," he murmured, his cock swelled even more inside you, the taste sending a jolt of pleasure through him. You leaned into his embrace, your chest heaving with each moan as you felt his enthusiasm. "You like it?" you whispered, your voice breathless with desire. He nodded as he continued to suckle, drawing more of the milk from your breast. The act only served to heighten the passion, making your movements more frantic and needy. As your orgasm approached, you felt the warmth spread from your core, up your spine.
With a final, desperate thrust, Suguru could feel himself reaching the edge. "I'm gonna cum," he panted out, his voice strained with pleasure. You nodded, your eyes locked with his, and whispered, "Do it, baby. Cum inside me. Fill me completely," and with those words, he lost it. He bucked his hips upward, filling you with his hot cum. You could feel him pulsing inside of you, the warmth of his release filling you up. You bit his shoulder keep from screaming out, your eyes tightly closed. As you both calmed down a little, you pulled back looking at him, your heart still pounding in your chest. "Looks like someone broke their No Nut November," you murmured, a satisfied smirk playing on your lips as you felt his cock softening inside of you. Suguru chuckled, his arms tight around your waist. "Guess so," he said, kissing the top of your head. "But it was worth it, missed this pretty pussy so much."
#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk geto#geto smut#geto x reader#geto suguru x reader#suguru smut#geto suguru#smut#jujutsu geto#jujustu kaisen#jjk x reader smut#nnn#nnn smut#brestfeeding#breastfeeding kink
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Back to Us - Chapter 2
Summary: Y'/n wakes after an accident to her Avengers team-mates. But something isn't quite right and only Steve and Tony can see it.
Characters/Relationships: Steve Rogers x Reader; Tony Stark; Natasha Romanoff; Other Avengers Characters
Content warnings: Mentions of an accident (no details yet); If I missed any, let me know
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Word count: 1142 (approx.)
Tony & Steve stood close together outside the hospital room in silence for a few minutes.
“So, that was strange, right Tony?” Steve asked.
“Yeah, I noticed somethings she said earlier too. I think she’s got some kind of amnesia. Let’s let the Doc do his tests and I’ll come back later this afternoon and talk to him to see what is going on.”
Back in the hospital room, the Doctor pulls a chair up and sits beside your bedside. “Ok, let’s talk some more. You’ve been in a coma for 10 days. We’re going to send you off for an MRI, draw some blood and check the basics first and just make sure everything’s working the way it should. How does that sound?”
Y/n smiles at him tiredly “I’m getting really tired but I’ll try and stay awake for all the tests”
“Well, the MRI you’ll need to stay awake for cause there’ll be certain breathing exercises you’ll need to do during it, but that will all be told to you when you get to the imaging department. And apart from that, we can always work around your naps, because you definitely need to rest as well.”
Later that day, you are back in your room after the first lot of tests have been completed. Napping on and off while waiting for the next test and the results of the ones they have already completed.
The doctor comes into the room again with the computer that shows him the test results. “Well, all of it looks good Y/n. I can’t see anything concerning on the MRI and the blood tests have come back fine as well, so it looks like no permanent damage.”
“Well, that’s great news Doc” you said.
“Let’s do some memory test questions, okay?” As the Doctor asks this, Tony walks back into the room.
“Sorry doc, I just couldn’t stay away, but it looks like I got here just in time for the good stuff. Hey Y/n, how are you feeling this afternoon?” he asked.
“Really tired tony. But Doc has just said that the MRI and other tests have come back fine. And hopefully if these memory questions go well, I can go home?” you look at the Doctor hopefully.
“Okay, first question – what is today’s date and do you know where you are?” the Doctor begins.
“Today is May 15th and I’m at Stark County Hospital” you proudly answer.
“Great, what is your full name, date of birth and parents names?” the doctor continues.
You smile because these are all easy questions in your opinion. “Easy. My name is Y/fn Y/ln, Date of birth 22 June, my parents are Y/mn & Y/dn Y/ln”
“Alright, here comes the big one. What is the last thing you remember before waking up here?”
“Well, I think I remember an impact, but I’m not sure if that’s a trick of my brain because I’ve been told there was an accident. I do remember Steve, I mean Captain Rogers, Bucky, Nat and I were heading to a Hydra facility in Romania cause we had intel that there were some hostages being held there.”
“We split up, Nat and Cap went to the West and Bucky and I went to the East to make sure there weren’t any goons over and above the ones we anticipated would be guarding the facility. Bucky and I dealt with the ones on our side and entered the building, clearing floors as we went.”
“We met Nat & Cap in the centre of the main floor, agreed they’d go up to the higher floors and Bucky and I would go down to the lower floors as we thought that’s likely where they’d hold the hostages. The last thing I remember is being on maybe the 3rd floor down and entering a room with at least 6 people chained up to the walls, in cells. Bucky started ripping the cell doors off their hinges so we could get into them, then there was a beeping and that’s about it. “
“Like I said, I think there was an explosion, but I’m not really sure if that’s just cause, you know..” you finished.
“Ok, get some more rest and I’ll be back later to see how you are.” The Doctor told you. You nodded at him and Tony and closed your eyes.
“I’ll be right back Y/n” Tony smiles at you and you smile back, drifting into sleep.
Tony quickly caught up to the Doctor. “Hey doc, so, what’s the latest? That was particularly concerning to me?”
“She seems fine, there’s nothing wrong with any of her results. What’s concerning you Tony?” he enquired.
“Well, that Hydra incident she says is the last thing she remembers, that was 4 years ago. I was a bit worried today cause she didn’t seem to remember a few things, but this is the icing on the cake.” Tony conveyed his concern to your doctor.
“Hmmmm, well, I guess we’ll run some more tests and I’ll keep you posted.” The Doctor told Tony, also showing some concern now that he knew this further information.
Over the next couple of days, the doctor and his team ran further tests, but couldn’t work out why you were missing the memories, except for the bump on your head.
Tony and the doctor decided it was time to tell you so they sat down with you on the day you were to be discharged.
“So Y/n” the doctor began “We’ve run a whole heap of tests and everything looks great, however there is one thing we need to let you know.”
“Oh. “you were concerned that there was something that looked ok but wasn’t. “Alright, lay it on me.”
Tony took over “The other day when you first woke up you said a few things that concerned Steve and I. Then when the doctor was doing the memory test questions, you mentioned the Hydra mission in Romania as the last thing you remembered.”
“Right, that was my last conscious memory that I can recall.” You said.
“Yeah, well the thing is…” Tony started “that mission was not the last mission you went on.”
“Oh, so there’s another mission in the middle that I don’t remember? How much time am I missing” you can’t think of how long ago it was but surely it was only a few days or a week or two.
“You know what, let’s just leave it at a gap in your memories for now?” Tony asked.
“And we shouldn’t force anything, the more you force this kind of thing, the more the brain can subconsciously rebel against remembering. We need the memories to come back naturally to give you the best chance of having full recollection of whatever is missing.”
You sat back and wondered just how much you were missing.
Tag List: @wolfbeanpotion @vioplay19 @jason-todd-fangirl-14 @crazyunsexycool @zaraomarrogers @bitchy-bi-trash
#ozwriterchick#steve rogers#angst#marvel#Reader#steve rogers x reader#Fluff#Tony Stark#Natasha Romanoff#James Bucky Barnes
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Tomato Red - Chapter 7
Parings: Jesse Cash x Female Reader/Cafe Bookstore Barista
Warnings/Triggers: Mild/course language, talks of relationship/past relationship abuse, traumas, struggles. Sibling/sister relationships, anxiety, nervous/panicky behavior, fidgeting, stress. Flirty banter, flirty texts, *FLUFF, *SMUT, sexual tension, kissing/making out, teasing, foreplay, biting/licking, fingering, hand jobs, oral sex with male & female receiving, sexual intercourse, P in V, sex in public, unprotected sex, mentions of eating meat, jealousy, feelings of possession.
Author's Note: I had sooo much fun writing chapter 7!! Also, this is my first time really writing full smut so I hope that it meets everyone's standards. Thank you all again so incredibly much for everyone's support on Tomato Red. I never imagined my silly little Jesse Cash fic would have ever made an impact and it's so cool to see so many other's enjoying the words I type out here.
This chapter is a spicy one so buckle up!
If I missed any warnings/triggers please let me know so that I can add them to the list!
Tags: @thefallennightmare @artificialbreezy @collidewiththesav @collidewiththesavannah @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @chewyylynn @cncohshit @arkiliastuff @lma1986 @lonelydragonlady @supersquirrel1996 @thatchickwiththecamera
If you would like to be added to the tags list please let me know and I would be happy to do so! :)
JESSE
I slid my hand up underneath my pillow to pull my phone out from under it to silence my alarm. I brushed the few messy strands of curls away from my face and flipped over on my back to stretch out my arms and let out a deep yawn.
ERRA’s second show was tonight and I had to get up and get ready for the day that was ahead of me. First I would go find coffee and some breakfast after getting dressed, find time to bullshit around before sound check, and then Y/N should be back in time for the show tonight.
After putting up with enough of Matt’s agitated mumbling during mine and Y/N’s reunion last night, I ended up bringing her and Kate back to the bus to formally meet the rest of the guys. Everyone really seemed to kick it off and Y/N seemed to have no problem settling in.
Which made me extremely happy. Not that I ever had any doubt that the guys would have any issues with her, she was fucking amazing in every way. But anxiety is always creeping in the back of my mind and I was worried that maybe all of this would be too much for her.
She was definitely shy at first but once we all sat around sharing slices of pizza and watching Alex and JT fail horribly at Call Of Duty things naturally fell into place and it was like she had been a part of the pack since day one.
She even chimed in on all of our shit talking and JT now owes her twenty bucks because he talked so much shit about how he’s the best at “Search and Destroy” and could go zero deaths to back up his point, and then died the first minute into the match.
I’ll make sure he remembers to pay up.
I pulled back the privacy curtain and hopped out of the bunk. The cool dark carpet of the bus meeting the bottom of my feet. I was still in just a pair of black briefs so I reached into my bunk to pull out my black t-shirt I tossed off to the side last night, slipping it over my head and flattening it down over my core.
I then ducked down into the bunk below and shifted through my bag to dig out a pair of old blue jeans and pulled them up over my briefs and fastened them with an eagerness to find caffeine.
Typically we would have all just driven to the venue since we were playing a home show in LA.
But since it was a quick two day show and Matt had flown in to help us with all our sound shit, we figured it would just be easier to pack up the bus and pack everyone in here for the weekend.
I made my way out into the front area of the bus, Conor was sitting on the couch bench with his leg crossed over, ankle resting against his knee, with a book perched in his lap. “Ahh, finally reading the book I lent you like three months ago?” I asked with a chuckle.
“Hey I was getting to it, and as you can see, I got to it.”
I made my way past him and slipped on my pair of white adidas sneakers, “I’m heading out to go find some coffee and whatever sugar loaded crap I can find for breakfast. Do you want anything?”
“Nah, I’m alright. The venue brought in some donuts to the green room this morning and I managed to snag a few before heading back here.”
“If you change your mind, text me.” I reached over to the table across from him and grabbed my gray hat with the embroidered white flower and slipped it on before making my way off the bus.
Before I turned to shut the bus door behind me, Conor yelled out, “be safe and don’t talk to strangers!” I blew him a kiss through the window and he laughed back in return.
With my shoes now against the pavement and the hot LA sun shining down on me, I pulled my phone out of my back pocket. Before opening up my maps to search for local coffee shops nearby I opened the text thread between me and Y/N, the last text was when she had texted me last night letting me know she and Kate had made it back home.
We had lost track of time while we were all hanging out on the bus and before we knew it, it was already almost 4am and Kate was going on about how she had to be up in three hours to open the cafe. I didn’t want Y/N to leave, especially since I had just gotten her back in my reach, but she promised she would be here today and would show up early to catch the full set. So I trusted her with her words.
With one foot trailing behind the other I began typing out a text to Y/N.
Me: Good morning darlin, I hope you slept well. I’m currently walking through downtown in search of caffeine. Although, I already know it will pale in comparison to your expertise.
Not even a second later and a response came through.
Y/N☕️: Wow, it’s not even 10am yet Mr Cash and you’re already cheating on your barista. Next time you come in I’m giving you decaf.🥱
I chuckled down at my phone screen and quickly looked up to make sure I wasn’t walking head first into anything on my adventure to find coffee.
Me: Is this our first fight?😬
Y/N☕️: No, unless you tell me that they make a better matcha latte than me… then yes.
I let out another chuckle at her response. I didn’t even think it was possible that anyone could make a better matcha latte than Y/N’s. Granted I had never had one before the one she had made me but, I knew that for the rest of my life, I would never order a matcha latte from anyone other than her.
The smell of freshly brewed coffee and milk frothing from an espresso machine echoed in the distance, breaking my sight away from my phone, and I looked over to see a deli/coffee place to my right. A lady came barreling out of the front door with her two children at her side and I reached over to help grab the door so she wouldn’t end up spilling hot coffee down her front side.
She gave me a pleasant “thank you” with a smile and quickly rushed her children out of the doorway so I could make my way inside. It was definitely the typical downtown modern coffee shop with leaves glued up on the walls and a white cursive neon sign that said Rise & Shine that hung above a two seater dusty pink couch.
It didn’t have that familiar cozy homey feel that Y/N and Kate’s cafe had. I got in line and eyed over the menu. They did have a matcha latte listed under their beverages so I pulled out my phone and opened up the camera to zoom in on it, taking a photo and sending it over to Y/N.
Me: Well, would you look at that… Mary Kate & Ashley’s downtown coffee shop has matcha late’s on the menu!
Y/N☕️: Yeah, and it probably tastes like overpriced grass milk.😂😂
She did have a point, the matcha latte started at eight dollars and that was for a small.
I inched up closer to the counter and the young lady working the register motioned me forward. “Are you ordering with your rise and shine cafe points card today?”
I internally cringed at her question. I knew it wasn’t her doing on the super creative, one of a kind, made up points name system, however, her high pitched tone wasn’t helping the cause either.
I shook my head, “No, I’ll just have a medium hot coffee with light cream and sugar please.” This girl was nothing like Y/N. She didn’t have that warm friendly charm or the smile that could clear away all the worries in the world the second she looked at you.
I cleared my throat realizing that I was unfairly judging this girl before me and inserted my debit card into the chip reader on the counter. Great, is this where I start comparing every girl I come across to Y/N now?
“We will have your coffee down at the end of the counter when it’s ready.”
I gave her a smug smile and a thank you before grabbing my card from the reader and placing it back in my wallet to go stand near the other people who were waiting for their beverages. I definitely stuck out like a sore thumb in here so I did my best to stand unnoticeably far away from everyone.
A few moments later and my coffee was placed up on the counter and I eagerly grabbed it and headed quickly out the door. I took a sip and I could have sworn my right eye watered in response. It was far from the best coffee I’ve ever had but it was caffeine so it would have to do.
I began making my walk back to the venue and sent Y/N another text.
Me: No matcha latte for me, instead, a hot cup of plastic bean water with the cheapest overpriced LA vegan creamer. Oh did I fucking luck out.
Y/N☕️: I’ll make it up to you next time you come into the cafe, all the matcha lattes you could desire served with extra love and I’ll even toss in a warmed up orange scone.😘
Me: You really know how to make a guy blush, darlin.
I tucked my phone back into my pocket and forced the rest of this shit coffee down my throat before heading inside the venue, hoping it would be enough to get me through soundcheck in the next thirty minutes.
READER
I stood in front of the mirror flattening down my dress against my mid thighs. I decided to go with something a little less raunchy than last night given that I was going to be watching from the side stage with ERRA’s other crew and friends tonight. I wanted to try to make a good impression.
I went with a short sleeved plaid blue mini dress and paired it with my light blue cardigan and my black chunky platform Doc Marten boots. Opting to put my hair in a side braid with a little blue bow clip to help keep my side bangs in place.
The show didn’t start until another few hours but since me and Kate showed up late yesterday and with the headache of the late afternoon LA traffic, I wanted to give myself enough time to ensure that I would not be late tonight.
Plus, I really wanted to be able to see the full show and watch Jesse up on stage again. The few moments I did get of their performance was encapsulating and I spent all morning getting ready replaying Jesse strumming his guitar on the riser trying to keep myself upright in the bathroom mirror.
Jesse up on stage was fucking hot and I wanted to watch the full thing from start to finish. It was thrilling to know I’d be watching my man from the side stage. It sent a surge down my entire body and I had to lock my thighs together to keep my pussy from clenching at how badly I wanted Jesse to have his way with me on that stage riser.
Stop. Get a hold of yourself, Y/N. Jesse isn’t your man. That hasn’t been determined yet, do not get ahead of yourself and set yourself up for disappointment. I let out a shaky breath at the thought running through my head. Jesse and I hadn’t made it official that we were dating or that we were even a “thing”.
What would I say if people asked? Is it weird that I would be on the side of the stage watching him play and I wasn’t his girlfriend? No, stop. That doesn’t matter. You’re getting yourself all worked up. Friends watch their friends play side stage all the time. It’s totally normal.
You just wish you had the title of Jesse’s girlfriend, that’s what this comes down to. I grabbed my purse off the back of my door and booked it out of my bedroom to silence out the internal battle that was going on inside my head.
Once I got in my car I plugged my phone in and put in the address to the venue on my GPS. It showed I had about a 65 minute drive which meant that there was thankfully no traffic so I’d be getting there a little bit early. Just like I planned.
Before putting my car in drive I sent Jesse a quick text message.
Me: See you soon, handsome.🎸
Jesse🌺: Can’t wait, beautiful.😘
With the biggest smile spread across my face I pulled out of my apartment parking lot and made my way towards the downtown LA venue.
READER
I pulled into the back venue parking lot, rolling down my window when the parking lot security stopped me, “Hi I’m here for the ERRA concert tonight. I’m on Jesse’s guest list.” Jesse had given me an ERRA crew badge that was attached to a lanyard last night and told me to bring it in case I ran into any issues.
He motioned me forward, “Take a left and when you pass the buses the guest parking lot is on the right hand side.” I thanked him and then pulled forward following the directions he gave me. I slowly passed the line of tour buses and excitement grew in my bones knowing that soon I would be in front of Jesse again.
Finding a spot that was tucked under a tree I pulled in and put my car in park and sent Jesse another text.
Me: Hi, I am here. I just parked in the guest lot out back.😊
Jesse🌺: You’re here early, was someone eager to see me??
I rolled my eyes and let out a giddy laugh at his response.
Me: Just eager to kick your ass from the coffee cheating from earlier this morning.
Jesse🌺: Sounds like a good time.😉
I swallowed hard at his flirty response back. If he kept this energy up it was going to be a long night ahead for me.
I climbed out of the driver's side and gave myself a onceover in the car windows checking to make sure my makeup and hair was in place and to my liking.
When I turned around I saw Jesse climbing down the stairs of the first tour bus that was parked in line. His chocolate brown curls glowing in the sunlight that were peeking out from underneath his gray hat.
He was wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans that hugged his legs in all the right places. It was unfair how this man could make even the most basic outfit look so effortlessly hot. His tattoos danced in the shadows of the branches of the trees above him and I sucked in a breath as he made his way closer to me.
I waved as he approached me, closing the distance to wrap his arms around my waist in an eager hug that was so intense it felt almost desperate. “Hey you.” He lightly spoke into the side of my neck.
I bit my lip to hold back the moan that almost escaped from my mouth. His hot breath against my neck sent goosebumps down my spine and I almost melted in his embrace, “Hey yourself.” Using all my effort to speak out the words.
Jesse pulled back and looked me over from head to toe, “You look beautiful, Y/N.”
Heat crashed into my cheeks and I couldn’t fight back the huge grin that spread across my face. Was it that shitty coffee he had this morning that was egging on all this rizz? If so, I’d have to make a mental note to start making the latte’s I serve Jesse more half assed from now on.
I looked him over from top to bottom for the hundredth time since I saw him climb out of the bus, unable to stop myself from licking my lips, “I could say the same about you, Jesse.”
Jesse’s eyes focused a little harder on me now, almost like he was studying me to see how far he could go. We were staring right into each other's souls and the sexual tension was so thick it'd probably take a chainsaw to cut through it.
“YO Jesse!! We are all heading to the green room to get ready for the show. Alex is up there blowing up the fucking bathroom again from those donuts he had this morning, so you might want to bring some spray or something just in case!” JT yelled across the parking lot while climbing off the last step of the bus.
Clint and Conor emerged out from behind him carrying their guitars and Matt followed behind shortly after. As they made their way across the parking lot and closer towards where me and Jesse were standing Matt shot over a look to Jesse, “don’t be fucking late or I’m putting the stage lights on your side to ultra strobe light mode tonight.”
Jesse gave him the middle finger in response and it took everything in me to fight the urge to stick it in my mouth and suck it from top to bottom. He already had me so riled up and he hasn’t even gone on stage yet. Fuck, it was going to be a long night.
“You ready?” Jesse asked while lightly tugging on my hand.
I interlocked my fingers with his and began to follow alongside him towards the venue, “Should I be scared of the smell when we get up there?”
Jesse let out a fit of laughter, “Oh of Alex blowing up the bathroom?”
“I’m being serious Jesse, if it’s really bad up there I won’t be able to make it.”
“Well you can tuck your nose into my shirt if you want, or we can go hang out downstairs until the stank lets up.”
The thought of having my nose tucked inside Jesse’s shirt, against his skin, breathing him in set my mind ablaze and I was never as eager to go sit inside a shit scented room before in my entire life.
JESSE
The first opening band was currently performing while Y/N, the guys, and me were all hanging out upstairs in the green room.
Y/N was sitting on the couch next to me on my right hand side while Clint sat to my left strumming a few strings on his guitar. I couldn’t help myself from stealing glances over at Y/N’s legs. She had been sitting cross legged and her dress was inching up just enough stopping right at her ass cheek.
I wanted so desperately to drag my tongue up the entirety of her leg, leaving gentle kisses in its trail. Y/N had the sexiest legs I have ever seen on a woman. Petite and toned and her ass was unfairly perfect. It drove me fucking crazy and I had been fighting all day at the temptation to spank it.
Conor had just come out of the green room bathroom from changing into his stage outfit and I was the last person to have to throw on my stage get up.
Uneager to rip my gaze away from Y/N, I pushed off of the couch and stood up letting out a deep sigh, while also checking to make sure the boner I was fighting to hide the last hour was still hidden, “I’m going to go get changed really quick.” I motioned over towards the bathroom.
“Don’t fall in.” Y/N responded back and when I turned around to roll my eyes at her comment I’m pretty sure I caught her staring straight at my ass. So we both had been stealing glances.
I grabbed my clothes off of the table and then shut myself inside the bathroom. Thankfully it had been enough time since Alex’s bombing on the toilet and the scent was finally cleared from the room.
I pulled off my jeans and slipped on my black stage pants. I decided to go with a black turtleneck tonight, but not before I played around with Y/N a little bit. Seeing her checking out my ass made me giddy and from the way we were both staring at each other outside in the parking lot I wanted to have a little fun with her.
I kept my pants unbuttoned and slipped the turtleneck over my head making sure not to pull it all the way down so that my entire core was out for display. I opened the bathroom door and Y/N immediately turned to face me. Her cheeks turning hot pink.
“Hey uh, could I get a little help with the collar on my shirt?” I was now looking Y/N straight into her eyes.
I knew none of the guys would be the first to volunteer. If they had it their way they would have sent me out on stage just like this.
Y/N cleared her throat, “Oh uh, me?” She asked while pointing back at herself. As if asking for permission.
“If you wouldn’t mind.” I replied back.
She let out a shaky breath and pushed herself off of the couch. If she was making an effort not to stare it was a shit one. This girl had her eyes glued all over me and I could practically see the drool pooling out of her mouth. This was going to be fun.
I strided back into the bathroom and motioned for her to follow me. When she was fully inside I reached around her to close the bathroom door. The tension from earlier growing even stronger.
Although there was plenty of noise going on outside of this bathroom the only thing that was making a sound was the heavy breathing between the both of us. I inched up closer to her, “would it be easier if I put my shirt all the way on?”
She brought her gaze up from my stomach and I watched as her eyes traced along my tattoos, “Yeah, it might help with the distraction.”
“Oh, is this a distraction for you? The view?”
She bit her bottom lip and I wished that it was my teeth that were tugging on it, “Jesse” she blew out, “remember how I told you earlier that I could say the same about you when you had called me beautiful?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Well,” she paused, “That view pales in comparison to this one.”
I inched up even closer to her now, pulling the rest of my shirt down before I hooked my right arm around her waist to bring her into me, “There, distraction free now.”
She swallowed hard and brought her hands up to begin fixing the collar of my shirt, “was this all just an excuse to get me into the bathroom alone with you?” She asked.
“What would you do if I said yes?”
Something dark flashed in her eyes and our lips were just barely inches apart now. “I would tell you that you should really stop teasing me like this, otherwise I don’t know how much longer I can control myself.”
My cock strained against my pants at her response. Fuck, the way she said that with such a damanding tone was so hot. I couldn’t help myself, I slid my hands up under her thighs and I pulled her up to wrap her legs around me.
I walked her back against the wall with a gentle force, my hands cupping her ass as her fingers dug into the back of my neck, “and what would you say if I told you I didn’t want you to keep controlling yourself?” I breathed against her lips.
“Jesse,” she warned. But I wasn’t done with her yet. I had missed time to make up for and I didn’t care if my friends were out in the green room knowing that the both of us were locked inside of this bathroom together. I was done not making my feelings known.
I leaned in and sucked her bottom lip gently between my teeth while pulling back. She let out a soft moan and my dick twitched in my pants up against her core and I knew she could feel it because when it happened she glanced down at the bulge nearly ripping through my zipper.
She ran her fingers up through my hair and grasped at the ends to pull my head back, leaning forward to lick down my neck and pepper kisses along my bottom jaw. “Fuck Jesse, I want you.”
Fuck, did I want her too. So fucking bad.
I leaned forward and began nipping at the skin on her collarbone hard enough to pinch. I made my way further down her chest dragging my tongue down between her cleavage, “if only you knew how bad I’ve wanted you.”
“Then take me Jesse.” She said while grinding her pussy up against my core. I slid my fingers further up her thigh underneath her dress. Looking back up at her to make sure that she was okay with where this was all going.
“Please.” She demanded in a desperate whimper. So I traced my fingers even further up sliding them underneath her panties to brush my fingertips along her folds. Holy fuck, she was soaked.
My cock was practically cursing at me in every language known to man. It was so desperate and angry for release. But this wasn’t about me right now. I brought Y/N into this bathroom to toy with her and I wanted to make sure she knew this was all about her.
“You’re fucking drenched, is this all for me?” I asked breathing along her jawline. Fingers sliding further against her folds as they made their way up to her clit to begin rubbing in slow steady circles.
“Mm, that feels so fucking good.” Her eyes rolled into the back of her head.
“Do you like that? You like how my fingers feel up against you?”
She let out another small moan, “God yes Jesse, please don’t stop.” I had no desire to. I was so lost in lust with her at this moment that before long I knew I’d probably have her bent over this bathroom counter.
A loud bang came from the opposite side of the door and Matt’s voice came barreling through the room, “Hey Jesse, whenever you’re done with your little quickie in there we are about to head downstairs and get ready for the show if you’d like to come join us.”
JT’s voice came echoing behind his, “Wait, Jesse is having a quickie in the bathroom? Holy shit! Good for him!”
I pinched the area above my nose and let out a long sigh, “I’m not having a quickie in the bathroom, Jesus Christ.” Well I would have been if they didn’t interrupt…
Y/N slid her legs down off of me and adjusted her dress to fully cover her legs again. Our fun time was unfortunately coming to an end but I’d made sure to pick back up where we left off later.
“We should really stop undressing ourselves with our eyes in this bathroom and get downstairs before Matt kicks both of our asses.” She said while quickly fixing her hair in the mirror.
I adjusted my collar and my dick in my pants in an attempt to make my boner less obvious, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I do sort of have a show starting in 10 minutes.”
She went to reach for the door handle and just as she had the door about halfway pulled open I leaned down to whisper against her ear, “I’ll be thinking about what just happened back there the entire show.”
I heard her lightly clear her throat and I didn’t even have to be facing her to know that her cheeks were probably flushed hot pink again.
Matt stood in front of the green room door with his arms crossed and Y/N quickly scurried past him, making sure to avoid eye contact.
As I came up next to him he let out a long disappointing sigh while shaking his head, “you just couldn’t wait until after the show?”
“If I waited until after the show then I wouldn’t have enough time for you big boy.” I nudged him with my elbow before making my way past him and down the stairs behind Y/N.
“I didn’t get you in trouble, did I?” She turned around to ask me.
“Nah, Matt will be fine. I'll make sure to give him extra cuddles tonight to make up for it.”
“If I roll over and find you next to me in my bunk, I’m kicking your ass!” Matt exclaimed from above us while shutting the green room door behind him.
“He doesn’t mean that, he’s just hangry.”
Y/N let out a fit of laughter and I guided her through the venue back behind the stage while me and the guys got ready before heading out for our performance.
READER
God did ERRA know how to put on a show. Ever since the first song I haven’t been able to stop myself from bobbing my head and swaying along to the music. I knew they were incredible from the few moments I had watched them from the sound deck last night, but seeing them this close and from such a personal spot made it that much more special.
The guys all had so much energy and it was so thrilling to watch them come alive and have so much fun up there. JT’s screams sounded absolutely incredible and I could go on for years about how melodic and euphoric Jesse sounded over the mic. He truly had the most beautiful singing voice I’ve ever had the pleasure of hearing.
The glows from the stage lights made the guys look even more intoxicating and seeing the energy from the crowd with so many people singing along and headbanging was such an addicting feeling. I could only imagine how it felt to be the ones performing in front of a crowd filled with so many special people.
As I sang along to the few words I knew, I kept my gaze flowing all over the room while thinking about how fucking lucky I was to be standing where I currently am. This was all possible because of Jesse and being here tonight made me want to stand sideshow watching him do what he loves for the rest of my life.
There was a slight break in between songs and JT came over the mic to hype up the crowd, “Alright LA, this next one is called Scorpion Hymm and I’m going to need everyone to get off their asses and get the fuck up here!”
The song picked up and Jesse stepped up onto the riser, his chocolate brown curls swaying around him as he headbanged and arched himself back, positioning his guitar up in the air, and pointing it towards the crowd.
His stage presence was truly so addicting to watch and if I hadn’t already spent the day worked up and fighting the urge to rip his clothes off and have my way with him, this sight alone would definitely do it for me every single time.
Jesse jumped off the riser coming down and doing several spins, right before coming back up to the mic to sing his part. How he had all the energy to move like that was beyond me. There was no way in hell I’d be able to do even the bare minimum of what he was doing.
Crowd surfers began making their way up to the front of the stage like waves crashing against the shore. JT would bend down and high five them on their way back into the crowd and there was even a guy dressed up in a banana suit who was break dancing in the pit. I had never had this much fun at a show in my entire life.
Something in my peripherals caught my eye and took my gaze away from the crowd. Jesse was now kneeling down onto the floor on both knees, guitar settled in between his legs, as he rocked his hips up and down, making direct eye contact with me.
God I had never wanted to be a guitar so badly before in my life. Was he doing this on purpose to taunt me some more?
As he came back up he did a few more cyclone spins and the song had ended. Before going into the next song Jesse stepped forward into the mic, “This next one is a very special one to me. It’s one of my favorite ERRA songs and I’m really proud of it. This one goes out to all my friends and family tonight and to someone very special standing to my right.” He turned to wink at me before turning back to face the crowd.
“You heard my boy, give us everything you got and if you know the words sing them with us as loud as you can!” JT screamed into the mic.
The familiar strumming began playing through the room and I was taken back to the first time I had heard it in Jesse’s bedroom. I remember how intoxicated I was watching his fingers strumming against the chords in such a delicate way.
“Your star burns and dies out a thousand times over but still remains a source of light to guide you home.”
I remember hearing the first time Jesse sang this song to me and the way his voice crashed through my soul leaving permanent indentations into my heart that I’d never be able to erase. Hearing it now echoing through this room was a feeling unlike any I’ve ever felt before.
I watched him with so much adoration and I have never felt more full and more proud in my entire life. I wish I could stand here in this moment watching him forever.
“In flight or in freefall, glide along the evergreen. Motes of dust resembling constellations.”
I shut my eyes and began singing along with him. Holding a hand over my chest as I swayed along and kept thinking back to the night I first heard it while sitting on Jesse’s bed, before I made the biggest mistake of my life and walked out like a coward.
I would spend eternity regretting it, but no words could ever amount to how grateful I was that me and Jesse were okay again, that I was standing here knowing I’d be the first person he would come up to greet after walking off this stage.
The song picked up and Jesse would continue to glance over and smile at me as I sang along to the words, giving me playful little winks every so often. If this room wasn’t filled with strangers and Jesse’s closest friends I would have run out and tackled him down onto the floor to cover his entire body in kisses to mark what was mine. But, that would have to wait for another time.
The song slowly started fading out and Jesse came back over the mic, “Thank you so much for coming out! We love you, get home safe!”
The crowd of people slowly started dissipating and the guys began making their way back towards the side of the stage. My heart began to rapidly race knowing that I would soon have Jesse within my reach again.
Jesse pulled his guitar off over his head and carried it at his side, locking eyes with me the entire time he made his way back over to me. God the way he carried that thing almost had me foaming at the mouth, why was Jesse with a guitar in his hands so fucking hot?
“Hey you.” He said while wrapping his arm around my waist and leaving a kiss to the side of my cheek. “Hey yourself.” I answered back.
“I saw you over here, singing along to the words. I also caught you a few times with your eyes closed, it was the greatest and most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
He placed his guitar into one of the equipment cases and I came up to stand directly in front of him so I could wrap both my arms around his neck, “you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Even when I’m all gross and sweaty?” He asked.
“Even better, the sweat adds more flavor.” I gave him a wink just before leaning in to place a kiss on his lips and then trailed my tongue lightly against his bottom lip, “yummy”.
Jesse gave me a look like he was seconds away from devouring me and it sent a shock through my entire body. “I have to help clean some shit up and then I’m going to hop into the greenroom shower to clean off all this stink. The bus should be unlocked, head out there and wait for me.”
I jutted my lip out in a pouting motion, “But I just got you back, you’re already sending me outside with the wolves?”
He grabbed my chin with his thumb and his pointer finger to motion my face up so I could meet him eye to eye, “I will only be a few minutes. Plus, I will make it worth the wait I promise.”
Jesse planted another firm kiss to my lips and I reveled in the taste. I didn’t care how sweaty he was, I wanted every single inch of him pressed up against me. I was needy and I was desperate and I had spent all day letting this man play with me. I needed him and I needed him now.
He pulled away from me and gave my ass a light smack, “I promise it will be so quick you won’t even have time to miss me.”
“I doubt that.” I replied back in a bratty tone while leaning down to grab my purse up off the floor. “You better make it lightning speed cyclone Cash, it’s cold out there.”
He started motioning back up towards the green room and before disappearing behind the stage he quickly turned back around towards me, “just five minutes and I’ll be there to warm you up!”
READER
I made my way to the back of the venue and out into the parking lot. The temperature had dropped immensely from this afternoon. The chill of the LA wind whipping through the strands of my hair.
I wrapped my arms around me in a hug and began rubbing my hands up and down my arms to help shield me from the cold on my walk to the bus.
I ascended up the small steps, my platform boots colliding against the metal, and when I went to tug on the handle, the bus door was locked. “Shit.” I muttered to myself.
I turned around to scan the parking lot hoping that someone hadn’t seen me and thought that I was trying to break into the tour bus.
I let out a deep sigh watching the condensation move like smoke through the air and walked down to the last step so I could sit and wait for Jesse, “he better be a man of his word and hurry his ass up, it's freezing out here.”
I pulled out my phone from my cardigan pocket and began scrolling through my social media to help pass the time, and to try to think of the consequence I was going to make Jesse pay for having me sit out in the cold.
Especially after all those flirty glances and winks he kept shooting at me during the entire ERRA show. He had been toying with me all day and I was still all riled up from our earlier activities in the green room bathroom.
I had just finished hearting a video of a dog in watermelon floaties swimming in a pool when movement from the left corner of my eye caught my attention, “what are you doing all alone outside?”
Jesse was now hovering above me, curls still wet from his shower in the greenroom, and I licked my lips at how the droplets of water fell and slid down his neck. My voice caught in my throat, “Oh uh, well you see the door is locked.” I frowned.
“Fuck you’re joking,” Jesse ran a hand through his curls, “JT must have locked it when we were all heading into the venue earlier, which means he still has the keys.”
I shifted on the step, “Sooo does that mean you failed on your promise to keep me warm since we are both now stranded together outside?”
Jesse looked down at me and licked his bottom lip, “No, I’ll just have to improvise is all.”
I looked at him confused, “improvise?”
“Yeah, now stand up.”
“Someone is bossy, can you at least say please?” I teased.
Jesse wrapped his fingers around my wrist and started leading us over behind the bus, “Gee, I sure hope there is a heater or a bonfire back here.”
He snickered and then pulled me into his chest, our lips ever so lightly brushing against each other, “you won’t need a heater or a bonfire when I’m finished with you.”
I sucked in a breath and Jesse crashed his lips into mine. It was firm, hard, and hungry. I knew my lips would probably be bruised in the morning. I wanted to repay him back for earlier so I dug my teeth into his bottom lip and leaned my head back to pull it, not caring to be gentle.
I’ve been restricting myself all day and now that Jesse was here in front of me, I was going to devour him completely and let him devour me too, if that’s what he wanted.
He dragged his hand behind my neck, digging his fingers into my skin to leave half moon indentions. “I know you’re cold but I can’t wait for that door to get unlocked. I need you, right here, and right now.”
Whatever you fucking say.
Jesse met my lips again in another feverish kiss and I opened my mouth to grant him access. Both of our tongues collided together as we took in the taste of each other. Before I knew it Jesse had me backed up against the backside of the tour bus, the coldness from the metal cascading down into my bones.
But, I didn’t fucking care. I would stand out in a blizzard bare naked if it meant I could be completely engulfed in this man. Jesse began leaving gentle kisses down my chin, onto my neck, further down my chest, and onto my stomach over the material of my dress.
I let my head roll back to rest against the bus and shut my eyes out of pure bliss. I felt him going further and further down my body and with a firm grasp to the back of my calf, Jesse lifted my leg up to rest against his shoulder.
I placed my hand up against the bus and rested my butt against it to help keep me upright, the wind was definitely blowing up underneath my dress but given the position I was in, I didn’t have the means to care.
Jesse began dragging his tongue from my knee up to my thigh, pushing my dress up to grant him further access before coming to a stop right at my panties. He placed another kiss, right over the thin white lace material, “can I taste you?”
I ran my hands through his hair and tightly gripped on the ends, “I’d love nothing more” I let out with a whisper.
Wasting no time Jesse pulled my panties to the side and had his head completely under my dress. I was thankful that there were no street lights back here and that there was an abundance of trees in this area. I knew the headliner had to be finished with their set soon and the bands would start making their way back to their buses.
Pushing the nervous thoughts to the back of my head I shut my eyes to focus on what was happening in between my legs. Jesse made sure to take his time with me and I expected nothing less.
He glided his tongue slowly up and down my folds and I let out a soft moan from the way his hot breath fanned against me. I couldn’t help but slowly grind my hips against his mouth, wanting so desperately to have something inside of me.
“Fuck, Y/N. I had tried to imagine what you would taste like from the moment I had you up against that wall in the bathroom earlier… but I never expected you to taste so sweet.” His tongue traced up to my clit and he began twirling his tongue in slow circles over the sensitive nub. “You taste just like strawberries, I could eat you forever.”
Jesse hiked my leg up a little higher and I could feel myself getting close. I hadn’t been sexual with anyone since Jake and after we broke up I only ever used toys or my fingers on myself. None of them compared to the way Jesse’s mouth felt pressed up against me.
“Jesse,” I moaned out, "I’m getting close."
He dragged his tongue down from my clit and inserted it inside me, fucking me with his tongue while I grinded against his face, “cum for me darlin, I know you can do it.” His pace began picking up and the leg I had been standing on to keep myself upright began to shake.
Heat built up in my core and my vision started to go fuzzy. Jesse removed his tongue to insert two fingers inside of me, bending them in a way to hit my sweet spot perfectly. It’s like this man had spent all night before studying my body and knew all the right spots to hit to ace the test.
He placed his lips back against my clit and began sucking while picking up pace with the two fingers that were still deep inside of me, fucking them into me ruthlessly. I let out another moan as the pressure built up inside of me.
My eyes were tightly shut and I couldn’t put up the fight any longer. My orgasm crashed through me like a tsunami as Jesse licked me through the comedown, lapping up all of essence. “Mmm, good girl, I knew you had it in you.”
My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath, I had never felt an orgasm like that in my entire fucking life. Jesse made his way out from under my dress and placed my leg back down on the concrete, coming up to greet me face to face again as he licked me off of his fingers.
“I could spend the rest of my life in between your legs.” He said with a grin so big plastered across his face that spoke of how proud he was of the work he just did.
“Then prove it.” I taunted back while closing the space between us. “Fuck me right here, right now, up against this bus, Jesse.”
Hunger filled his pupils, “you’re a fucking freak. I love it.” He spoke into the crook of my neck, leaving a hard bite while hooking his hands under my thighs to pull me up and wrap me around his waist. He walked us back against the bus and the familiar cold returned to spine.
“Be a good girl and help unzip my pants for me, my hands are kind of filled with your ass.”
I giggled against his chest and when I glanced down I could see his cock bulging hard up against his pants. “Someone is excited to see me.”
“You have no fucking idea, Y/N.” I slid my hands down his shirt and bit my bottom lip while my fingers excitedly fought against the denim of his pants. Reaching my hand into his briefs to grasp at his warm hard cock.
“Fuck,” he shivered, “your fingers are cold.”
“You’re stalling Jesse, are you going to fuck me or not?”
He let out a hungry grunt, “with fucking pleasure.”
I brought my hand up to my mouth to spit into it, moving it back down to stroke the saliva over Jesse’s cock. He pushed his forehead up against mine locking eyes with me, “I want you to look me in the eyes while you guide my cock inside of you.”
His fingers trailed back up my thigh to pull my panties to the side and I kept my eyes locked with his as I guided his cock in between my folds and right at the front of my entrance. Jesse placed his thumb and his pointer finger right on top of mine, and slid his cock up and and down my folds to coat his cock in my arousal.
“Are you sure you’re okay with all of this?” He questioned.
"I’m more than alright with all of this, I promise.”
“Before we continue, I just wanted to ask if you are on any sort of protection. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable and that we do this safely. I also wanted you to know that I’m clean. I got tested shortly after me and my ex separated a few years ago, and I haven’t been with anyone since."
I lifted my hand up to cup his cheek, “You’re extremely sweet to even think to ask, especially at a time like this,” I giggled. “I am on the pill and I am also clean, same situation, my ex cheated on me and I got tested right after we broke up. I haven’t been with anyone since him.”
Jesse paused, the look on his face showed nothing but pure adoration and it made my heart flutter, “fuck that guy, he’s an actual moron to fuck up any situation with you. I’m sorry that happened to you Y/N.”
“I would really rather not fuck him, it was quite boring actually.” Which was true, sex with Jake was miserable ever since the first time we were intimate.
“Just know I would never do anything like that to you, ever. I promise.”
Jesse hoisted me back up to reposition us, “Tonight is about you, I don’t want you to think or worry about anything but just us.”
He kicked my feet a little further apart with the front of his boot so he could better position himself between my legs. His thumb and his finger were back on the head of his cock, “Now where were we?”
I shifted my hips up into him and Jesse’s cock was back at my entrance. He sank himself slowly inside of me, stealing all the air from my lungs as he filled me up. “You’re soaked, Y/N.” I dug my nails into his shoulder and brought my mouth up to his neck to begin trailing my tongue up to his ear to nibble on his bottom lobe.
“Fuck darlin, you feel so good.” Jesse grunted while thrusting into me, it was slow paced at first as if he was taking all of me in inch by inch. “I want to take my time with you, but I know that the guys will be back soon.”
I continued to suck and pull on Jesse’s ear and I watched as his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Although it had only been a few moments of feeling Jesse inside of me, it was the best sex of my entire life.
Jesse’s pace picked up and the grip he had on my ass was firm, I reveled in the slight pain from how hard his fingertips were digging into my skin. This was the first time I’ve ever had sex in public and although I was terrified of someone seeing us, the rush was so thrilling. A high I’d never reached before.
I locked my legs over one another and tightened them around Jesse’s lower back to bring him in closer to me. I needed every single inch of him inside of me. I slipped my hands under his shirt and dragged my nails up his back and he let out a hiss in pleasure. Goosebumps covered all of my skin as the breeze started to pick up and although I was just freezing my ass off a few seconds before, none of that mattered now.
Jesse began to pick up pace, pulling his cock all the way out of me to slam it back deep inside my pussy, pushing himself so deep inside of me that my head began to spin. Jesse’s cock was thick and when I held him in my palm earlier I was slightly concerned about how I’d be able to take his size inside of me. My walls stretched around him and although there was slight stinging pain at first, the fullness of him made me thirsty for more.
I brought my lips back over to meet his and I pushed my tongue inside his mouth as we both moaned into each other. I locked my lips around his tongue and began sucking on it, while running my fingers through his hair.
His dick was starting to swell inside of me and his thrusting was becoming so hard the bus was starting to slightly rock, “I’m so close darlin, but I don’t want to stop fucking you yet.” I was also starting to get close, I had been holding my orgasm at bay for as long as I could. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up the fight for long.
“Cum with me Jesse, I’m so close.” I barely managed to whisper against his ear. He slid his hand up my dress, leaving trails of goosebumps as his palm made his way up to cup my right breast.
“God, your tits fit perfectly in my hands like they were made for me.”
Jesse began pinching at my nipple and it was just what I needed to send me over the final edge. The heat in my core erupted through my entire body. My pussy quivered and it clenched against Jesse’s cock as my orgasm bursted through me, causing my legs to shake and go numb.
After a few more ruthless pumps Jesse pulled his cock out of me, his hand cupping around his cock as he firmly pumped his hand up and down in a fast motion. I kneeled down onto my knees, not caring about the small rocks and gravel that were digging into my kneecaps.
I pulled the front of my dress down along with my bra, my tits out on full display. I inched up closer under Jesse while pushing both of my boobs together, “cum on me Jesse, mark me as yours.” I was so drunk on lust from the orgasm that had coursed through me mere seconds ago that the words were trailing off my tongue before I had time to think them over.
“God you’re such a fucking freak. I fucking love it.” Jesse’s stroking was ruthless at this point and I knew he was at his breaking point. I leaned my head back to arch my chest up closer to him. I felt his warm cum shoot down my neck and across my tits as he let out a hard moan.
He bent down to rest his head against mine while trying to catch his breath, “that was fucking incredible. Thank you.” He spoke while shoving his cock back inside of his pants.
“I’m sorry if this was weird.” I motioned towards my breasts, “especially with this being our first time. I’ve just never done anything like this before and I was sort of drunk from my orgasm.” I admitted.
Jesse held out his hand to help pull me up, “do not apologize, it was hot as fuck.” I dusted away the dirt and rocks that were stuck against my skin and Jesse helped pull my dress fully down to cover my ass and thighs.
He stepped back and began pulling his shirt off over his head, “what are you doing?” I asked. With his bare chest now on display he wrapped his shirt around his hand, “come here.” I did as I was told, making my way back over to stand in front of Jesse.
“May I?” He asked while pointing down to my breasts.
“Won’t your shirt get ruined?”
“I’m not having you walk around with my mess all over your chest for the rest of the night. Plus, this is an old shirt anyways and I’d rather this get ruined over your pretty dress.” He began gently wiping off my chest and neck, staring down at me with that same admiration from earlier.
“Such a gentleman to clean me up.” I snickered. “Thank you, Jesse.”
He finished wiping me off and pulled my straps up over my shoulders to cover my breasts back inside my dress. He then slid his hand up against my face to cup my cheek, “you’re so beautiful Y/N. I can’t believe that what just happened, happened.”
I shut my eyes from the warmness of his palm and laid my hand over the top of his, “I also can’t believe that what just happened, happened. However I’m grateful it was with you.”
Jesse leaned down to place a soft kiss to my lips, holding it for a few seconds, “I truly don’t know how I got so lucky to have met someone so special. I know we had that little hiccup but I don’t ever want you not to be a part of my life. I’m so grateful you came to these shows and that you’re here.”
Tears started to build in the corners of my eyes and I fought them back to prevent ruining the moment. I was not about to be that girl who cried after sex, especially on the first time.
“Do you really think taco bell is a good idea after you spent the last two days blowing up the fucking bathroom?” Matt’s voice echoed through the parking lot causing me and Jesse to halt in place.
“Why should we all pay the consequence of not getting after show Baja Blasts and crunch wraps because of this guy's tummy issues?” JT’s voice breaking through the trees.
We heard footsteps ascending up the stairs and the door of the bus clicked open, “Guess we finished just in time, huh?” Jesse winked at me.
I interlocked my fingers with his as he lead me back around the front of the bus. I followed up the stairs behind him and when we stepped through the front of the door all eyes landed directly on us.
JESSE
“Uhh, do I even want to know why you aren’t wearing a shirt?” Conor asked while taking a sip of his water.
“Yeah, what's up with that? It’s like forty degrees outside and your nipples are staring straight at me, it’s fucking weird.” JT retorted back.
I walked Y/N further into the bus to motion for her to sit on the couch, “Y/N spilled some soda down the front of her dress as we were coming out of the venue, so I lent her my shirt so she could wipe it all up.”
I made my way past the guys and over to the bunks and dipped down into the small lower bunk where I kept all my stuff, reaching into my suitcase to pull out my gray long sleeve shirt and tossed it over my head. I saw my dark green Ghost Atlas hoodie sticking out of the side and I grabbed it before making my way back up towards the front of the bus.
“We are all trying to decide on what to order for dinner. Alex and JT want Taco Bell but my vote is for barbeque.” Clint spoke.
I sat down on the couch cushion next to Y/N and handed her the hoodie, “here for you, I know it’s cold.”
“Thank you, Jesse.” She arched her back up to pull the hoodie over her head and I had to quickly look away so I wouldn’t let my sight get stuck on her cleavage, knowing that my cum was just plastered all over her chest moments ago.
The click of a celsius can being opened echoed through the bus and Matt took a long sip, “Oh I could fuuuck up some barbeque, that’s my vote.”
I rested my hand on Y/N’s knee and looked over to meet her gaze, “What’s your vote?”
“Oh uh,” she cleared her throat, “I’m not that hungry so whatever you guys decide on is fine with me.”
God she was so beautiful, even with her rustled hair and the slight bruising that was starting to form under her bottom lip. The way the dim lighting from the bus lights above highlighted her in such a euphoric glow made a lump form in the middle of my throat. I could get lost forever, never looking for a way out, just staring at her.
I traced my thumb back and forth along the side of her knee and her skin felt like soft silk under my touch. Thoughts of my tongue gliding up this same leg earlier started creeping in and I had to adjust against the back cushion to refocus.
“My vote is for barbeque as well, I don’t want to have to deal with Alex passing gas the entire drive back home.” Conor spoke with a laugh.
Alex threw his hands up above his head, “oh fuck you guys.”
“Alright barbeque it is.” Clint held his phone in his hand while using his thumb to scroll against the screen, “I googled some spots around here and it looks like there’s a place a few blocks away. It has good reviews, says it's about an eight minute walk if you guys are cool with that?”
“Sounds good to me I’m starving!” JT said while rubbing his stomach, “let me grab a jacket and then we can head out.”
Everyone rose to start gathering their things and made their way over to the door to climb down out of the bus one by one. Y/N halted next to me tugging on the sleeve of my shirt, “I don’t want to invade your guys' dinner time. I can head back home I’m sure kate is probably back and needs someone to vent to about her day at the cafe -”
“Y/N,” I spoke while bringing my thumb up to rub against the side of her cheek, “you are not invading on anything. I want you to come and no one here has any issue with you tagging along.
She studied my face for a moment and when everyone had finally made their way off the bus I leaned down to place a kiss to her lips, “please don’t make me beg, I will if I have to, but I’m not ready to say goodbye to you just yet.”
She leaned back in to lay another kiss against my lips, “when you put it that way how can I say no?”
The bus door flew open and Matt’s voice came barreling in from outside, “come on love birds we’re starving and it’s fucking freezing out here. My nipples probably look like Jesse’s did earlier.”
“Hey, leave my nipples alone man!”
I looked back down at Y/N, “before we leave let me grab you a pair of sweatpants before we go back out there. I can’t send you back home to Kate with hypothermia, especially since I came close to death the last time I was over there from the popcorn situation.”
I walked back up with pair of gray sweatpants in hand and handed them over to Y/N. She pulled them up over her legs and pulled the hoodie down to hide her dress underneath. Seeing her head to toe in my clothes made my heart thump in my chest. I know we hadn’t established yet what this was between us, but it was like having a piece of me clinging to her, marking what was mine.
I took her hand in mine, “you ready?”
“Yeah, let's get out of here before they break the bus down.” We headed out and were once again greeted with the chill of the LA winds. I wrapped my arm around Y/N’s shoulders to bring her in closer to me to help shield her from the cold.
I felt myself getting needy, that every moment we were together I had to be touching her in some way. My feelings were definitely past the point of no return and I was falling head over heels for this girl.
She rested her head against my chest as we followed along with the guys on the sidewalk, the sounds of the cars driving along the streets providing background noise to the conversations that were taking place around us.
I wanted to hold her against me and in my arms for the rest of our lives. I never wanted to let her go or say goodbye to her again. I looked down at her and traced over her eyebrows and marveled at how the street lights shined against her skin. I felt the words building on the tip of my tongue but I swallowed them down. Surely it was much too soon for that and I didn’t want to scare her off. Not when I had just gotten her back.
“Okay google maps says it should be up here on the right hand side.” Clint pointed to a door with a wooden pig sign hung up on the front that said LA’s best voted BBQ three years in a row!
We stepped inside the restaurant and the smell of smoked meats and tangy BBQ sauce filled my nostrils. This place was like a certified BBQ subway, you walked up to the counter and built your own plate choosing whatever meats and sides you wanted.
We followed behind the guys as they all were assembling their plates ahead of us. I motioned for Y/N to go in front of me and when she stepped up to the counter the young blonde haired dude on the other side smiled a little too wide for my liking.
“What can I get started for you?” He asked. How hard he was staring at Y/N was also not to my liking.
We made our way further down the counter as Y/N continued building her plate, pointing at the mac and cheese and pulled chicken, “I’ll throw in a brownie for you for free, they’re my favorite.” He winked at her.
Oh hell no. First with the flirty tone in his voice, then with the non stop staring, and now with the fucking winking? Who did this guy think he was? There was no doubt Y/N was breathtakingly beautiful and I don’t blame the guy for the way he was practically gawking over her. But to do it in front of me?
I brought my hand up to rest against her shoulder, “do I also get a seat on the free brownie train?” I asked with a raise of my brow.
“I can only give so many out during the day but I can ask my manager,” he pointed towards the back, “he might make an exception for your brother, especially given how cute you are.” He shot her another wink.
This guy was pissing me off. Did this douchebag really think that I was her brother? No he had to be fucking with me. Y/N cleared her throat and nervously looked back at me, “Oh uh, he’s not my brother.”
“He's your friend then?”
“You know it’s really fucking weird that you’re so adamant on knowing so much about who a stranger is with. Maybe you should just worry about doing your job, our food is getting cold and we’re really hungry.” I stepped in front of Y/N to pull out my card so I could pay for our meals.
“Gee man, you have a bad night or something?” He mumbled under his breath while handing over our boxes of food.
I snatched them and then placed my hand on Y/N’s lower back, “come on baby let’s go eat.” Then I planted a firm kiss to her lips before we walked over to go sit at the table with the rest of the guys.
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It's a shame about Astro Boy Epsilon 2003's design to be steeped lowkey in this "Well he's the most feminine of those seven robots so why not turn him into a girl" because his design is genuinely cute there, but also because of his more pacifist manners + caring nature, really sends an odd implication when it comes to turning of any of the famous robots from Astro Boy into a girl imho. Your comic really shined a light on that which I really enjoyed and it reminded me how while I enjoyed Astro boy 2003 it has its grounds to cover by how it changes things around
yeah I had the exact same thoughts! it's odd too that in 2003, epsilon doesn't retain the main qualities that make him such an interesting character- those being that he's a caretaker of human children, and his brief relationship with pluto. the former especially seems like such a missed opportunity given how much of a theme robot-human relationships are in the anime. we see plenty of other robots taking care of human children and the conflict that causes, so I don't see why one of those instances couldn't have been epsilon. it wouldve been a really smart way to integrate them more heavily into the plot. my only idea is the writers thought like "well if we make our only recurring powerful female robot a literal mother figure that feels pretty reductive" but it's not like the show isn't already sexist in other ways? and the consequence is that epsilon loses the things that made the audience care about him and becomes a pretty flat character. every other version of epsilon dies protecting a child. 2003 epsilon is defeated because she's worried about some random dolphins. it's kind of an emotional downgrade.
I don't mean to be overly negative though- I actually just finished watching the show last week and it was amazing. it had a perfect ending, which isn't something I can say for many things. AND most of the episodes range from "great" to "mindblowingly awesome and heartwrenching". there's so many good things to say about it- which is exactly why I get so critical of its few flaws, especially when it comes to things that felt like a downgrade from the manga. they stick out like a sore thumb! I could make plenty of complaints about the manga too (and I have, to my friends) but that doesn't stick in my craw as much because the manga is much less consistent in terms of quality. astro boy 2003 is a fantastic show and a really really smart adaptation apart from like, two things. and to be fair they're only things that will really bother you if you read the manga first, which I did. so if anyone reading this is an astro boy fan (or just likes robots tbh) and hasnt watched it for some reason...... do that. it's incredible, seriously. don't let my complaining scare you away.
#asks#tbh the way pluto is written bothers me WAY more than the way epsilon is written but thats a whole other can o' worms#and we have plenty of other great plutos and epsilons so i cant be too mad about it
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That situation was also so weird. More under the cut because I am listening to my OC's playlist (which is fun and phenominal and it sucks that it is connected to the loss of an important relationship) and I'm in a sentimental mood.
I am usually the one to reach out and coordinate with my friends, (a skill I developed since a lot of people are bad at reaching out), which I genuinely don't mind at all! But with this friend, I noticed that when I reached out it wasn't really reciprocated? Like my texts would be ignored (even if they were heartfelt or asked about them) and my discord messages responded with nice, but closed messages, with no elaboration or invitation.
We only talked on the phone after I directly asked via discord and we set up a call. It was nice to catch up, and I am glad we at least got that much closure. I talked a little about how I had been feeling, and they clearly felt bad about it and reassured me. But they said that text was in fact their preferred communication, and they just stopped responding again. Like in the middle of our conversation about how I don't want them to only talk to me out of guilt or obligation, I want them to only talk with me if they really want to.
I took the hint, and stopped reaching out after that. I feel a bit embarrassed about how long it took me to read between the lines, but it was confusing because when asked they verbally reassured me. I sobbed for literally a week straight after our phone call and subsequent texting because I knew it was over, but I wanted to believe them so badly.
It was interesting to understand why some people have a hard time reaching out to friends though. It would suck if multiple of your friends acted like that. Especially since I had to cleanly read their behavior instead of their words, which is hard to do if you are anxious, have low-self esteem, or are emotionally attached, since all of those tend to distorts interpretations. But it is also hard to tell a friend you used to love that you don't want to be friends or talk anymore :/ So I don't blame them. I just miss them and I still love them and I wish they were apart of my life. But they seem really happy with their partner (who I also know and genuinely really like) so it seems like they are doing well. It's hard to find the space for everything you want in your life, so I can't really blame them for not having space for me, even if it makes me sad sometimes. And who knows! Maybe they will reach out in a few years and I'll talk to them. That doesn't feel true to me, but there is always a chance.
Anyway, I am going to cut myself off there. It is challenging for me to let go of people I love, but I am proud of myself for reading this situation and letting them go without forcing them into a dramatic confrontation. So that is cool.
#Celestia says stuff#Probably too personal but eh#The campaign ended two years ago#And my last conversation with Fyo was last June#I only realized the connection when talking to some friends about the campaign and how it ended#And then I was like wait I actually lived that with my GM#And I don't even know if they think our friendship is over#And I am open if they reach out#But I am not reaching out again to them and I know they won't reach out to me because they haven't for years#It's just sad man#I miss them and I miss the me around them and I miss our relationship#I was sooooo sweet with them too 😭#I did some messy things admittedly and I wish I could have done better but we never really talked about it and stayed friends for years aft#er#I even kind of brought it up in our last text messages and said that I feel like I fucked up and lost them then#And they said that I didn't lose them;they were right here#And I have never heard from them again#It really and truly broke my heart I loved them so much and it was so tragic to have to let them go like I did#Learning how to leave gracefully is a skill I am still learning but I feel like I did overall a pretty decent job here#It's hard not holding out hope sometimes but I know it's ultimately futile#Anyway I am cutting myself off again and I am going to bed#I have lingered far too long
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the day the earth stood still is the day i felt your presence leave it, and then every day after that.
#tw grief#sigh sigh sigh.#apologies in advance as this is not the happiest yap ! i would just like to write out some of my feelings on this day#the heaviest heart weighs under an insurmountable amount of grief — the ghost of love#days like today are a twisted reminder that has every emotion flooding through your soul#longing . guilt . anger . an indescribable melancholy that could only be consoled through the sands of time#a year ago i lost my best guy friend and it’s never really gotten easier . but ive heard it never does#all i can do is bundle up the love i have for him and search for him in the clouds that take up the sky#the circumstances around his passing will never not haunt me and rather than go into it all i’d like to say is this#if you have a loved one or a relationship or a friendship you cherish .. then never ever stop fighting for it - for them.#as time never really seems to be on our side#each day i’ll live as he intended . to greet the world with kindness and a smile and passion for positivity#in his wisest words (or rather after every phone call we’d have hehe) i’ll try my best to stay awesome & encourage you all to do so as well#if you’ve read this then i’m taking your hand and thanking you#it didn’t feel right not acknowledging him at all on this blog . he’s the one that introduced me to anime + more importantly : one piece#i wish i could talk to him about it all so he could see how far down this rabbit hole i fell just as he had done#will be spending the day enjoying his favorite episodes and being gentle with the world that surrounds us#this is not like my usual yaps & i feel vulnerable posting it but i wanted to carve out a space for him on this blog#forever missing the connie to my sasha . maybe in another universe we’ll get it right#have a wonderful sunday my sweet friendz and if you can — hug your loved ones & blow a kiss up to the sky 🤍💫#thank you for being here & helping me make this a safe place .#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims
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I miss playing cowboys and trains with my friend on RDO :((
#rdo#we played almost every week for about 4 years (started during the first pandemic lockdowns)#and then a few months ago he got busy with having a relationship and junk and now it's been over two months since we've played 😭#i have so few touchstones with people and I hadn't realized how integral that one had become to my life until it stopped happening#i miss my friend i miss our horsey cowboy times#i miss running around the map until we found a train and then hopping on that and enjoying the scenery#occasionally lassoing npcs and dragging them along behind said train#life of faye#i dunno man I'm just extra lonely#but i don't want to make that his problem#for weeks and weeks i would ask if he had time to play any time soon and he kept having other things going on#so i got embarrassed about asking because it feels so obvious that I'm just pathetic and don't have a life#and i don't want to just be an obligation if someone doesn't have the time or inclination to do friend stuff with me any more
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Anybody know how to get rid of a curse 😭
#throwback to when i was a kid and my mother the monster that she is wished upon me to never be happy just as she isn't#and that i should never be granted love or happiness. just like her.#this happened repeatedly#my heart gets broken over and over while ppl around me find love and get to keep it and be happy#i feel so fucking broken. like im literally not a person. idk what im doing wrong#i love my friends' love. im genuinely happy to see them thrive#ive been alone and yearning for a quarter of a century#i cant take it anymore#of course i had to fall in love with someone who wont be with me#thats the easiest way to make sure im fucked up and alone for as long as possible#and it's happened several times#they may love me but they cant be w me#I'm literally so fucking sad#the one person who was gonna make it work. i made them hate me bc of some huge misunderstanding abt the nature of our relationship#i miss them the most in the whole world. i think about them constantly. biggest regret of my life#the grief of it all is eating me alive. i keep getting close to being happy n in love and. dare i say it. loved#and then its all getting ripped away from me. again and again#every day it hurts and it makes me paralysed and i cant do shit or be who i want. i wish i could b sedated forever#goodnight lol
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i had so much fun last night omg
#the dragon's parade!!!#cause it's the great dragon weekend here in kraków now#so we finally went out with friends#i always miss those losers we don't really see each other often but i love them sm#then we went to drink at my bestie's place & he finally told them he's gay (i was the only one in the group who knew)#i'm proud of him tbh#also it's so funny cause our friend said she was always intrigued by our relationship#and she was like 99% sure there was something going on between me & him shdhhdhdh#and i can't blame her cause she's not the only person#my mom keeps asking me if he's REALLY gay like at least once a week#also his parents keep asking him about me & they say i'm pretty & that MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON HERE#like... no#hell no#he's my little brother i would fucking murder everyone who ever tries to hurt him#but no that's it hdhdhdhdh#i never talk about those kind of stuff so i'm not sure if he knows but i think he knows (i hope he knows)#it's so funny tho i just think we give the same kind of energy#so when people see us together there's this weird kind of chemistry there but like... not in a romantic way#more in a “hey this dude knows all of my secrets & i know all of his as well” kind of way#idk can't explain i'm happy tho & kinda relieved at the same time cause i don't really like secrets#anyway yesterday was fuuuuun <3#i came back home around 5am i'm exhausted#please give me all the coffee in the world#but sincerely can you hear me?*
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had quite the night drive earlier this evening.
#just me rambling again#web weaving#(?)#uh. one of my friends who is out of town for college was visiting and i got to see him and our friends and the only core member of that#group of people missing was my ex girlfriend who you may also know of as my wonderful wife#who has I assume been very busy with their own life things but has also barely and very sparsely had any hint of communication with any of#us within the past few months which I've been realizing very recently sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close and#they had been saying that they would be constantly making sure we still were in each other's lives. but then very quickly have#seemingly dropped off the face of the earth#anyways. I was driving aforementioned friend who is in town back home (family home not college obv) and when i was finally going back#towards my house afterwards my Google maps finally lead me to an area that i was more familiar with driving and i got to an#intersection and it was telling me to take a right to go home but i knew that i knew the way perfectly from that intersection to my#ex girlfriend / best friend / wifes familys house from all of the times I've gone that direction through the past years and so#i turned off my directions and i took a left towards their house#not super sure why but my brain and body just knew it was something i needed to do and so i went and drove down their street and cried#a lot the whole time and then drove myself home from their house once again following a super familiar path#and idk im still feeling very emotional about it. the fact that halloween by noah kahan was the first song to play on Spotify#after i made that left turn im sure didnt help (knowing that i miss them so much and am going to be leaving this area myself#soon enough here and there's been an open offer for a while now that they are welcome to follow and live with me once they get their degree#(and also um. halloween is next week lol)#idk i just havent felt the full force of how badly i miss having them in my life until tonight. when i was around this person i could feel#our souls singing in harmony. i genuinely cannot describe the feelings of our relationship in words i feel like only vaguely abstract art#could communicate the connection that was forged between us and the level of understanding and knowing#something not dissimilar to looking into the sun directly or trying to describe a vivid color to someone who is completely blind#something about the way the entire universe breathes in unison and everything around us are all pieces of the same stars#sigh#i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot /ref
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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[cws: non-detailed discussion of both fictional and irl SA/CSA/abuse dynamics, apologia for the previous, homophobia, fetishization of wlw, and anti rhetoric.]
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having a lot of thoughts about the wider fandom's treatment of the various abuse dynamics present in sdmi--supposedly in the name of being anti-abuse--and how instead it's propagated deeply anti-survivor/abuse apologist sentiment and behavior through where they choose to apply that rhetoric, and where they choose to look the other way.
(first off, if you're someone who does not and has not done this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. second, this is not at all exhaustive of my feelings on the subject and there will probably be more posts about these dynamics and people's behavior toward them in future. as you can imagine by the length of this post that is saying something lmao)
one of the reasons i feel as strongly as i do about the way both canon and fandom have historically been about pericles, pericky, and shitting on anyone who likes them because it Normalizes Abuse(tm), is that their fans are pretty open and emphatic about the fact that it's Fucked Up. it's why we find it compelling. it is vanishingly rare that we don't.
meanwhile, velma is the UwU Cute Sassy Lesbian Icon whose relationship with shaggy was Cringy and Immature (and mutually so 🙃) at worst, when it directly mirrored such visceral aspects of my experience with CSA that i almost threw up rewatching the second episode.
and that's not even getting into how normalized it is for women to abuse men in a relationship, in broad fucking daylight in front of other people, and how men are supposed to Always Want It and it's an insult if they don't, and how the vast majority of CSA--which it overtly is in shaggy's case, he is implied not to be an adult yet--is perpetrated by other kids.
and it's also not getting into the fact that the ~cute lesbian relationship~ is almost certainly going to end up with the other queer girl in the show also being abused, because abusers are not Magically Cured by True Queer Love's Kiss. how it is incredibly difficult for survivors of abuse in a wlw relationship to be acknowledged or get support because then they'd be a Traitor, or people would rather maintain the feel-good fuzzy feelings wlw exist to give them, or they're closeted and it's not safe to let people know they're in a relationship with a woman. how queer relationships, especially between women, are fetishized as cute pure healthy fairytale romances and not dynamics involving real people who might harm each other or be harmed and need help.
and that's not even getting into the fact that mlm are seen as inherently predatory to an extent that the majority of other queer identities are not. how older queer men grooming boys is a classic homophobic stereotype used to justify violence toward them, up to and including lynchings, and how that is the abuse dynamic everyone in the show and fandom latched onto to revile as the Disgusting Evil Predatory One while giving everything else a pass. how mlm have a long history of forced institutionalization and psychiatric torture and abuse, and the Predatory Gay Man is subjected to decades of--you guessed it!--forced institutionalization and psychiatric torture and abuse, which is framed as what he deserved and where he belonged. how he's supposed to be unattractive (and the majority of the people who do this shit lean hard on that), while people are way more likely to give Charming Attractive Aesthetically Pleasing abusers a pass.
this is just..... normal, to the fandom. it's treated as completely normal. and i think that's a whole lot more fucking harmful than finding emotional catharsis in exploring an abusive dynamic that would not fly in broad daylight irl in a million years.
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#professor pericles#velma dinkley#shaggy rogers#SDMItag#cws in post#like. everything about shaggy and velma's dynamic in and related to the first half of S1 is *gutwrenching*#it took me up until this rewatch to realize why every time i try to rewatch the show in linear order i can never seem to watch past E02#and end up just skipping around#and time and personal experience have *really* made the 'fairytale queer romance that is a missing stair right into a bottomless pit'#thing hit harder#whereas exploring pericky when i was younger *made me realize things about their relationship were abuse that i hadn't understood before*#'okay so if i go back and fix *this* part that'll make it not abusive anymore and they can be happ--oh. oh geez. this goes deep doesn't it'#and the people who don't like pericky will do the opposite and *actively claim the abuse dynamics that are there do not exist*#because Then It Would Be Shipping and That's Just Gross UwU#because 'this can't have been [X kind of abuse] because [X abuse] is Gross and its potential existence near me makes me uncomfortable'#'you're the one who's gross for seeing it and pointing it out; ew how dare you ruin people's day by making them think about that'#'thank goodness it didn't happen and we can all move on with our lives (and you won't like what happens if you dare bring it up again)'#isn't. you know. famously a thing that happens all the time to gaslight and silence survivors irl and take our words away from us lol#anyway as you can maybe imagine i am bitter about this lmao#but also i just generally think it's worth talking about; especially if even one person understands their own experiences better for it#the crit files#the salt files#SDMIcrit tag#pericky#dyn: when i die i want you to die too
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i need to not go to sleep in the literal morning today bc that’s what i’ve done the past two days and i have things to doooo AND my brother nephew and sil are here now so we’re seeing him wednesday and i CANT be sleeping thru that. like i should be sleeping now but i’m not tireddddd. someone shoot me or smth idk
#my bros train got here around 10 so#there’s a chance i’ll see him tomorrow but my dad told me he thinks wednesday when i was talking to him yesterday about it#AUGHHHHH IM SO EXCITED TO SEE THEM 😭😭😭😭#like actually vibrating i miss my brother so much#and i hope seeing him might have him be more willing to relair the bond…#repair#cause he didnt talk to me for 4 years but last year he emailed me but he said hes not ready to actually make a relationship w me again bc#the thought of me brings up too many traumatic memories of our *** from childhood#which i cant blame him 😢😢#but i still miss him so bad…#he was like my best friend#RAAAA i hope i get to spend a while with them all….#im gonna take sooo many pics of my nephew….
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