#I miss my normal foods
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Doctor: try to eat more greens. They should help with your endometriosis symptoms.
Me: I hate greens.
Doctor: if you put them in a smoothie, you can add fruits to it and it helps with the taste.
Me, after a week of drinking green smoothies: well, whaddya know? I actually feel better.
Also me: I still hate greens.
#doctor#endometriosis#endo#endometriosis awareness month#endometriosis symptoms#endometriosis treatment#endometriosis pain#eating hurts#pain sucks#i hate pain#i hate this#i hate it#greens#green smoothie#smoothie#I'm tired of being healthy#I don't wanna be healthy#I miss my normal foods#Healthy foods are gross.
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I love cauliflower, but cauliflower rice makes me irrationally angry. Mostly it's because I love rice and I can't eat it right now (or shouldn't really since I'm supposed to be avoiding lots of carbs) and I hate diets and food restrictions (thanks childhood abuse and trauma). If I can remember to call it something other than rice I might feel more charitable toward it. Because I truly do love cauliflower.
#birdy's food experiments#i heavily seasoned it too which made it taste great but i really wanted rice#need to try fresh cauliflower rice next not the frozen kind and see if that helps#mostly i think I'm still hungry so that's making me feel more angry toward it#but I've been really bad this last week and had more carbs than i normally do so i have to start being extra careful#next week I'm trying cauliflower 'mashed potatoes' to see how they are#i miss my normal foods
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"...Where did you get that bone, Marx?"
"From the Cooler Meta Knight. He said I could keep this in exchange for getting rid of the rest."
"Whose bone is it?"
"Dunno. Didn't ask. Doesn't taste like Adeleine's so I figure it's no one we know."
"Should I ask how you know what Adeleine's BONES taste like?"
"Magolor, I know what EVERYONE's bones taste like. It's part of their scent."
"How does that...? Never mind. So, what do mine taste like?"
"Charbroiled chili gumdrops marinated in apple cider vinegar."
"...What?"
"It's completely delicious!"
#Marx Kirby#Magolor#Marxolor#I dearly missed my OTP so I thought I would draw them#But uhhh...I am several strata past 'being tired'#and this...thing...is all that came out....#Dess Sketch#Magolor is badly feigning normality#While Marx is ever inexplicable#...They are in love#I guess the 'Magolor has never had real food before' HC#probably died with the 'native Halcandran' HC huh?#F in the chat to pay respects...#cw food
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@saving-stark yes! my parents had been considering a new kitty playmate for their sad boy Mister E for several months now ever since we lost his previous playmate, my elderly childhood cat Abby… early on, we thought perhaps miss Fiona could be his new playmate but both Mister E and Fiona said that she was NOT indoor cat material and had to go RIGHT NOW
so then they were thinking about adopting one of the jellybeans to be his new friend, but would foster them both in the meantime till i found a new home for the other baby… i’d been looking into some possibilities for homing the other baby, but unbeknownst to me, the jellybeans were putting in overtime at the small and cute factory at my parents’ place, and they decided to adopt them both!! now i get to see them both grow up together yippee!!!!!
also, mama Fiona is doing great! my mother was worried that Fiona was going to be distraught that the kittens vanished suddenly, but honestly since they were already weaned anyway her reaction seemed to mostly just be “oh thank fucking god the babysitter finally came and picked up these kids i can finally relax” 💀
she’s been kinda spoiled by me these last several months while taking care of the jellybeans so she’s decided she has a pretty cushy gig in my backyard and would like to stick around here awhile. and i’m good with that! she seems to be past the indoor-socialization window unfortunately, but such is community cats sometimes. but my parents and i do agree that while the jellybeans have been very cute we don’t need any more of them to try to figure out home situations for so we’re going to get her TNR’d at the vet in a few weeks 👍
#OOPS infodumping about cats what else is new#cats man#yard cats#the jellybeans#fiona’s hilarious bc i can go on my porch at her normal food times and be like ‘where’s miss fiona!’#and within seconds . there’s miss fiona
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pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn
omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?
#did u have fun at the conference it must've been cool huh women in stem and all that#bookfair being bad is so sucky i was so excited for you to go i thought you'd send pictures too of books we like#also u already know everything i posted everything and every thought#i ate chinese but it didn't feel that good because my sister isn't here and we didn't eat it together watching#koffee or splitsvilla and i realised that it's not just the chinese food it's the whole hanging out that i love sm :((#kal well i told you pata hai the brownie place we met it's kinda new and cool types so uske bathroom mein#there was a button and it said press at your own risk and when we did it became a dj like the lights went out and#there when flashing spinning disco lights and party songs were playing mere mein wo aaya hum toh naye andaz hai apna purana#it was sooo cool im adding it to the list of places you'll visit when u come here!!!!!!!#also the food was soooo shockingly reasonably priced everything was under 200 rs!!!!! which is big for a dessert place here#and like great quantity great taste too my stupid people from office used to say it's awesome but i didn't believe them and never tried it#because they're all losers lol but i grudgingly admit that they were right#also ummmm hmm okay pata hai i realised ki oh okay im happy with who i am#like bachpan mein i used to feel very sad and loser like because dad was too strict to let me go out raat ko and everyone in school would#go to this club we went to kal and i always felt i was missing out and i wanted to be all cool and fun too#but it was kinda so boring and normal and i was like wow okay i didn't miss out i was spending days and nights reading books being in#fandoms and i was actually very happy!!!!! so like yay idk small thing bt yk i realised that oh it was okay and everything will be okay too#i kinda want to talk to that guy now like i weirdly feel like im longing for what could've been? which is ridiculous because#we were 11 and i barely talked to him back then because shy and friends would tease and i didn't realise it was a crush#i don't want to DATE him because like tbh i already know we're very different people but like wouldn't it be fun to idk make out once#then i got the urge to download dating app but i resisted the urge and won i don't think im made for casual things#me and my bestie were laughing about this yesterday too she was like i just don't understand how people can have sex one day and then#not give a fuck about each other the next day like idk if we have sex im having your kids and i was like ikrrrr like bhai sex is toh very#big im going to be attached if we hug i literally did!!!!! so we decided no more casual/situationships for us#phew okay more rambling on whatsapp love u bye this became too long#saumyuuuuuu
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i kept control of my legs for an hr and a half after eating 'dinner' so i celebrated for one song
#almond milk my beloved is going to keep me from wasting away#i dont seem to react to almond milk#Freebooter4ever#i miss food so much#I was so hungry today after essentially fasting the whole time i was in the hospital#that i almost went out and bought a donut#i did not obviously that would have fucked up my gut#but i craved it#and lately cravings have been unknown to me#so it was nice to have a memory of something normal
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Some portrait doodles I did during my flight today
#if theyre rough or the lines are wiggly blame turbulence#esp on the vanessa one#vanessa kapatelis#renee montoya#vanessa bc im always thinking abt her and renee bc i downloaded gotham central for the flight#think i read 20 or so issues? my flight was 8hrs lol i had time. if ppl are curious im on a layover rn demolishing some wendys#especially the spicy chicken sandwich. that shit hits so hard spicy food i miss you#im gonna ruin my digestive system tonight with capsaicin just you wait. gonna be legendary. after a month and a half in europe god knows i#need spice.#anyways what was i saying. oh yeah i have all of gotham central downloaded on hoopla#normally wouldnt be my first choice of book but my hoopla has a pretty small selection bc i use it through the local library for my college#town and theyre pretty small#but i will always give my guy greg rucka a chance. siempre para ti gregory ruckegory 😘#but yeah. like cops. mysteries and violence and police brutality and such. interesting times#also rip stacys pink pixie cut you left us too soon 🙏🪦⚰️🕊#blah#dc comics#dc fanart#these are interesting bc you can def see its more my older style (like 1/2yrs ago) than my current bc i was not doing detail on the plane#also i dont have a tablet that i draw on so it was like stylus and phone lol
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The way the quarter mile walk from my house to my polling place has me pass the fire department, the public library, the post office where I have a po box, the small business where I have made a living as a tipped worker for 3+ years, 4 little free libraries, the community food share, public art, and the church where I have gotten free hot breakfast dozens of times..........on my way to go vote...... Makes You Think
#i love my walkable town i need to walk it more often lol#plus i ran into a few ppl i knew including someone who honked at me from the car which i normally hate but it was someone i hadnt seen in f#in forever so i literally stood there in the street talking to him... very small town lol the things you miss by driving everywhere#also calling morrisville a place where art food and history meet seems like a stretch to me LMAO but i do love that mural
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Sometimes I think it's just so sad that Javik, as a soldier, will most definitely not know how to recreate the most basic of his people's memory-sharing technology. Sure, prothean tech is toted as having supreme quality by the game, working fine even after 50k years, but the same game also shows that they can be damaged, broken, unusable. This is just to say that if Javik's shard breaks, he may not be able to fix it - probably the last link he has to his people.
The shard doesn't have to only hold painful memories. He can add his own. All I'm saying is that it's a piece of technology as normal and intuitive for him as breathing, and one of the few familiar things he has in this new, alien time. And he may not have access to it anymore.
I'm not sure I'm making sense of my thoughts. It's like having your childhood home burnt down and you can only rescue only one of your favourite family albums but now the pictures have been water damaged beyond recognisable. And you live in a time when people just don't understand what a "photo album" or a "camera" is, because they have a different way of safekeeping their fond memories.
#Mass effect#javik#I have so many thoughts about him#How tragic to not only lose your people your home and your identity#But also your language your food your everyday items that you can use bc no-one currently alive would need them#I think about having no access to what we think is our normal lives a lot#Like I listen to music everyday so living in a world where people just don't use sounds would be#It's not the end of the world but I'd miss my old life terribly
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recent things
#With the heatwave combined with being ill for like an entire week it seems I've lost like 16 days this month#where I basically did barely anything... grrr.... The passage of time... My Enemy...#Now that I can finally hold down food and stuff I'm feeling a little better mostly and my sickness has probably passed. But I still#feel weird a little bit like.. some lingering weakness or something. I think I'm just already having so many Problems at all times even in#my 'Normal' state that whenever I get sick or something my whole system is thrown off for a while lol#I'm supposed to be writing like 2000 words a day still ghbjhb... I've had multiple days of maybe 1000 - 1500. And a lot of days#where I write maybe 20 - 300. I've still been chipping away at the same single quest dialogue for all 20 something#days this month so.. AUGH.. Though that also counts the 16 days I did nearly nothing but be sick and overheated#I finally edited that whole big sims video I wanted to post!!! but now there's an issue with it ... T o T#My fault for still almost exclusively using windows movie maker in 2024 lol.. but HHHHhh.. It's like every once in a while randomly#a fully edited video will not be able to be exported. so evil for this to happen to my first sims build tour in a while. but alas..#ANYWAY... I have been slowly working on little things here and there.. in my little scraps of time.. Wishing to be fully productive at#some point. Maybe I can finally finish and post some things soon. like costume photos or sims videos and etc.#BUT HEY.. that solitaire thing is crazy to me.. I don't think I've ever finished a challenge in under 20 seconds#before. huzzah.. tripeaks squad.. OH.. and an image of#curly tail boye.............. he..... I took him to the vet for a check up and he seems surprisingly okay for a 16 year old. except he has#a mild thyroid issue or something so I'll have to give him medicine. But every time he goes in I'm always expecting them to be like#Sorry. Your Son Is Truly Doomed. or etc. so I'm always shocked when he's fine... a strange boy with many strange behaviors#so I can never tell if he's just Being Weird or if he's sick or soemthing ghjbjh#Also the bad thing about never ending summer heat is that when it IS finally cool for a few days. I don't want to do ANYTHING. It's like wh#n it's hot I feel too sick to do anything. And then when it's cooler I'm like 'OUU the first cool day in WEEKS.. i want to just relax and#fully ENJOY the coolness..'' So it's always constant warfare with my body like.. NO ..we cannot SLEEP. We must utilize this small patch#of Non Heatwave to finally be productive and finish things while we don't feel sick. But then it's like ''ohoho...to lay in the cold air of#the morning restfully.. i shall have a little nap with a blanket on for once.. perhaps.. tee hee'' Always at war with the Tired Sleepy#it seems. AAAANyway...... grr............ slowly finishing things. still usually missing my target writing goals..#Hopefully will have some actual art or costumes or something to post soon. Fumbling through the summer weather as usual lol
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the utility company is claiming we owe 8k. it was 4k last week. they said theyd turn it on for 2k. they shut us off with no notice. they wont talk to us until its paid. im so fucking scared, especially for my rabbit, fuck fuck fuck
#burrow.html#my dad is going in in person in the morning but im so hyper vigilant of miss honeybutt#she seems ok now but she hasnt finished her food she normally is done with it by now#i dont have money. my paypal is locked. i dont know what to do
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Just had my first psychiatrist appointment in like two years! Not to brag, but I improved on mental illness so much that I was upgraded from Bipolar 2 to Bipolar 1! 😎
#when she asked me questions and said 'that seems more like bipolar 1 than 2' i immediately got so excited#to make this fucking joke on tumblr#when my mom asks how my appointment went im going to make it to her too and shes going to hate it#im trying to collect all of the diagnosises and meds#ive tried so many meds in the past im excited to add a new one to my repertoire#i dont even know what this one is for. i think its cuz my bipolar leans heavily towards the depression#and so far that depression has been untreatable. so i think thats what this is for#my caffeine intake was heavily judged whivh i did not appreciate. but its a judgement worthy amount of caffeine tbh#also i had onboarding for my new job at mcdonalds literally immediately after my psyh appointment#and it was strange. i did the normal things. paperwork etc#but at the end i asked if colored hair was okay and she said she encourages self expression#but then she whispered and said some people are furries and thsts okay but if i am i cant wear the claws or tail at work#just for food safety reasons. and she brought me out to a separate building thats their dry storage#and she said sometimes theres pine snakes in there so just be loud as you go in#and she said she doesnt mind if you smoke weed on the clock. just do it in your car or dry storage and use body spray to cover the smell#ive missed working fast food. im going to change my mind after like two shifts but its fine#anyway i hope you appreciated my mental health joke :) i made myself laugh hysterically with that one
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🍽️😔🎻
#soo blah blah need to vent again abt my health issue situation 💀#yuh so like im so sick nd tired of whats going on. nd not being able to just eat whatever i feel like whenever#it's emotionall draining tbh. im always thinking abt what i could maybe try nd im always like ohh gotta make sure the portion is small etc#it's annoying me sm bc i can def feel the effects of me not getting the right nd enough nutrients nd vitamins etc etc#i get dizzy nd my vision is hazy sometimes. nd im like forgetful bc the other the when i walked home i kept getting lost nd had to walk back#nd forth several times nd i was like ?!?!? what?! i've lived here for 25yrs nd now i just cannot for the life of me rmbr the way#also i am so weak in my body. like carrying even a small amound or books nd groceries nd walking for 30min makes me exhausted#my legs are actually shaking when i get back home nd every step feels like im walking in cement#plus i just wanna be able to go to the gym nd build muscle. but if i dont get enough protein in me i cant build muscles T-T#what else... yeah also i do miss food bc of comfort. like my coffee + chcolate everyday makes me genuinely happy lmao#but i just want the food situation to be normal bc even w veggies im like oh no that is too gas building that is too hard to digest etc etc#it's mentally gruelling to not know how tf to get all the important nutrients!! i def have several deficiences lmao :((#im so over it. but theres nothing i can do. i wish i could just not think abt it 24/7 tho#also. im the thinnest i've ever been BUT. i am constantly bloated so i look fkn pregnant. so i cant even enjoy looking the skinnier
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im normal im okay im fine im not crying about fictional characters its fine im alright no worries guys
#season 4 of magnus archives is making me want to jump off my window IT WOULD HURT LESS#holding dearly jon and daisy and martin on my arms#EVERYTOHNG HUUURRTTTSSSSSS#looking at jon WHY ARE U SUCH A MASOCHIST STOP THAAAAATT#okay im normal again#ACTUALLY IM NOT I NEED EVERYBODY TO BE HAPPY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#ALO IM STILL NOT OVER TIM THAT FUCKED ME UP I MISS HIM !!!!#okay im fine now fr dont mind me#i was about to start ep 136 but i actually need a shower and some food ive been on bed for the entirety of the day listening to tma LOL#vanya strawberry flavored#tma
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So my goldfish like to swim to the part of their tank closest to me to watch me but it’s really hard to get a picture of because as soon as i raise my phone to take a picture they swim away.
I know it’s just them not liking my phone because I’ve actually trained them to follow my hand otherwise 🥲
#the pixie speaks#goldfish are actually a lot smarter than people give them credit for#they can learn tricks and recognize their humans#their eye is also pretty good normally#my goldfish are also trainef to respond to me clicking my tongue since one of them has mot great eyesight in one eye so they don’t always#see my hand when i make gestures for meal time#that way she doesn’t miss out on any food if my other fish gets their way ahead of her
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i will say, the fact that im twinkifying with no change to really anything i do other than my hrt method, i kinda get the lanky tgirl stereotype now.
#this is not a post abt disordered eating.#this a reflection on what hrt is doing to my body#i still consume a decently large amount of food per day i think its just my body's metabolism speeding up again#esp now that im just doing monotherapy (no t-blockers)#like at the last test my t was on the higher end of whats normal for cis women which makes sense#since all bodies have varying levels of T#that combined with the fact that my mom has high T as well so i think my body's where it should be finally hormonally speaking#but i think not downing 3 tallboys a night also contributes not insignificantly to what my body's doing rn lmao#that being said i miss having the most insane ass and hips :(
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