#that i almost went out and bought a donut

[freebooter4ever]

i kept control of my legs for an hr and a half after eating 'dinner' so i celebrated for one song

[chrissv4mp]

make a movie with you that we'd have to hide , CHRIS S.

summary: you can't help but be obsessed with everything about your boyfriend, and one night, you ask him if you two could try something... different.

pairing: chris stuniolo × fem!reader

warnings: SUPER subby!chris, sorta shy!chris, pet names (ma, baby, love, good boy, baby boy, pretty boy, etc.), handjobs, p in v, unprotected sex, recording, begging, overstimulation, degradation, choking if you squint, name-calling (slut, etc.), just pure filth🤷‍♀️

a/n: chris......... these photo dumps have me screaming, i think i'm transitioning to a chris girl😖

"clothes on the counter for you, try 'em on. if i'm allowed, i'll help you take 'em off..." - LUNCH , billie e.

the door shut softly, and the next thing you heard were chris's footsteps coming down the hall.

his lips curved into a smile the second he caught sight of you, stretching his arms put before falling into your embrace on the couch.

"hi, baby," you muttered, pressing a soft kiss to his neck.

chris exhaled, kissing your cheek, "hi,"

the brunette boy pulled away, staring deep into your eyes before smiling softly, "hi, ma."

he kissed your cheek before getting up, hanging his hoodie up behind the front door before going into the kitchen.

you sighed, moving the blanket off of you before following your boyfriend.

staring wasn't unusual between you two. he always looked so good, and chris had always said you looked gorgeous every second of the day.

but right now, he looked better than ever. his grey t-shirt was a bit small for him, so whenever he moved his arms it would ride up, exposing his v-line and some of his lower abdomen.

his jeans were bigger around his waist, causing them to fall a little lower. you weren't complaining, cause this was the best sight you've seen.

"y/n, baby, are you there?" you didn't even notice your boyfriends repeating your name until he snapped his fingers.

your eyes went back up to his in an instant, blood rushing to your cheeks at the fact that he might've seen you staring.

but chris wouldn't care, he knew what he was doing when he got ready this morning.

"sorry. i'm here, just zoned out." you laughed, walking closer to him and pulling him into a hug.

the boy chuckled, rubbing your back and giving your head a quick kiss before moving toward the fridge.

his eyes moved around the food inside before he spoke again, "should i cook? there's still that steak we bought on wednesday,"

he looked back at you, and you stared at his blue eyes just a little longer than usual before giving him a reply, "sure,"

"i mean, who's turning down professional chef, christopher sturniolo?" you joked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

chris giggled, looking back at the fridge before opening the freezer and grabbing out the packaging the steak was in.

"not even nick and matt can resist." chris smiled, grabbing the scissors to cut open the plastic.

you watched silently as chris carefully cut the packaging, eyes fixated on his hands and fingers that so delicately moved.

chris couldn't bear the silence, even if it was comfortable, "so, nick, matt, and i tried gummy food vs. regular food. shit was disgusting,"

he laughed, adding onto his topic, "also nick broke a glass, and almost the camera with a gummy donut."

you smirked, chuckling. your mind went blank for a few seconds before an idea popped into your mind.

chris was always vlogging with his brothers, and he loved to be the center of attention of everything they did.

if he liked the audience so much, then why not create a movie? a movie that was just for you and chris to see, make a movie that you two would have to hide.

"nick? seriously, out of the three of you, i would've never guessed him," you replied, the idea still lingering in your mind.

how would you even bring it up? it would be awkward, and chris might even think it's weird.

but he always told you to come to him whenever, so why were you so scared now?

"that was amazing, chris," you complimented, placing your hand on his thigh under the table.

he smiled, blushing slightly as he looked down, "thanks."

the brunette boy stood up, grabbing both of your plates and taking them to the sink. before he turned the water on, you grabbed his wrist.

"hey, i got it, go upstairs and take a shower. you've already done enough, 'kay?" you said just above a whisper, running your thumb over his palm.

he smiled softly, kissing your forehead before placing the dishes down in the sink, "you're the best. i love you, ma."

"love you, too, chris." you smiled, taking over his place at the sink as you listened to him walk up towards the stairs.

before he reached them, you called out, "i left you some clothes on the bathroom counter, too!"

he thanked you before continuing his way up to the bathroom.

rinsing off the plates and forks, you placed them on the drying rack before opening the dishwasher.

you grabbed the clean dishes from the dishwasher, putting them away in the cabinets before grabbing the dirty ones and placing them in.

as you finished, you decided to pass the time by going on your phone, lying back down on the couch before getting lost in the tiktoks on your for you page.

once you got bored, you went to instagram, going to the triplets' account and looking over their new friday photo dump.

chris was on the fourth slide alongside nick, and their friend, nate. his shirt was riding up his stomach and his boxers were showing just the slightest.

he smiled innocently, holding out the peace sign as his arm hung around nate's shoulder.

you crossed your legs, biting your lip as your eyes went over the picture again. he looked so good in it, but he also looked like he was so innocent.

fuck, you just wanted to ruin him for anyone else. you wanted to let everyone know that chris was yours.

if he allowed you tonight, you'd help him take off his clothes.

you remember picking out his red plaid pajama pants and a black wife-beater. he always looked good in that.

you decided to walk upstairs to your bedroom, it was too quiet downstairs and a bit too dark for your liking.

as you walked past the bathroom, you heard heavy breathing even over the sounds of water hitting the shower floor.

stopping right in front of the bathroom, you put your ear against the door. you gasped quietly as you heard chris moan. it was kind of high-pitched, and right after, he whimpered your name.

"fuck," you groaned quietly, deciding to just continue your walk to the bedroom.

something to tease him about later. so impatient, he couldn't even wait a few minutes longer to get off.

chris crawled onto the mattress, the edge of the bed dipping as he made his way over to you at the headboard.

his hair was still damp, water dripping off the ends every other minute.

"i missed you all day," he whispered, lying on your chest as he nestled his head into the crook of your neck.

your hands threaded into his hair, massaging his scalp as he lay comfortably.

"i missed you, too." you muttered, kissing his head.

his hands moved up your body, sneaking under the fabric of your shirt and continuing their way to your chest.

you sighed, feeling him toy with the fabric of your bra.

"missed all of you.." he mumbled, kissing your neck and occasionally nipping at it.

his touches weren't making the heat between your thighs any better. if anything, they just made you wetter.

you pulled on his hair softly, your grip tightening with every new mark he left on the soft skin of your neck.

"chris," you gasped, hands going down to his waist as you gripped it softly.

he whimpered at your motions, bucking his hips against yours and eliciting a groan from your throat.

a smirk came to your lips as you felt his dick bulging from underneath his pants and boxers, and the moment he stopped sucking your neck, you flipped him over on his back.

chris gasped silently, lips parted as he stared up at you with eyes full of lust.

"didn't you just get off, love?" you asked in a whisper, caressing his cheek and running your thumb over his bottom lip.

his face went red, turning his head to the side to try and hide.

you quickly grabbed his chin, turning his head back so that he could look straight at you.

"don't be so rude," you smiled, "can't you just answer my question? please?"

he sighed, biting his lip as he looked anywhere but your eyes. he hesitated before speaking, "yea- yes, mhm. i did, ma."

your hand went lower, traveling down his jawline and stopping at his neck. you wrapped your fingers around him, putting the slightest amount of pressure down.

"yeah? do you think you're better at getting yourself off than i am?" you teased, watching as his face contorted into a look of worry.

he shook his head frantically, and you applied more pressure to his neck for him to stop.

releasing your hand just a bit, you began again, "then why, hm?"

chris bucked his hips, his eyes rolling back as he whimpered out his answer, "was thinkin' 'bout you, fuck.. 'jus so pretty."

your frowned in fake sympathy, tilting your head a little to see his face better in the dimly-lit room.

humming, you looked around the room, eyes landing on the small digital camera chris had on his nightstand.

"hey, y'know what would make up for your mistake, baby boy?" you muttered, watching as chris's lips parted.

"what?" he whispered, finally making eye contact with you.

staying quiet, you got off him, walking around to his side of the bed and grabbing the camera.

chris sat up, eyes following your every movement as you went into your shared closet. he raised an eyebrow, clueless and confused.

when you came back to the bed, you put up his tripod, setting the camera onto it before adjusting the settings and placing it so that the camera was pointed toward the bed.

before chris could spill his thoughts, you spoke, "is this okay?"

he didn't even hesitate, nodding quickly. chris liked the idea of secret sex-tapes, ones that only you two would see.

he never told you many of his fantasies, keeping to himself every time because he would doubt you'd say yes to him.

before getting on the bed, you pressed the "record" button.

the side of the bed dipped as you crawled over to chris, pushing him to lay down again before trapping him in a heated kiss.

chris was already painfully hard, and the way you shifted around on his lap didn't make his case any better, gasps and whimpers being trapped between your two lips.

when he moaned, you slipped your tongue past his lips, exploring his mouth and running over his teeth as you groaned.

his hands went to your waist, holding you with possession as he guided your movements.

your free hand went lower, sneaking under his plaid pajamas and palming him through the soft fabric of his boxers.

chris couldn't reciprocate the kiss anymore within a few seconds, gasps, and whimpers falling from his mouth into yours.

"feels s'good," the brunette boy sighed, eyes staying shut even as you pulled away to trail kisses down his neck.

you could feel the damp spot of pre-cum on his boxers, and it made you impossibly wetter.

"so worked up," you muttered before sucking on his pulse point, hearing as chris begged in that whiny tone of his.

he wasn't even speaking coherently, blabbering out inaudible words as he gripped your waist tighter.

you left a hickey every time you went lower, leaving a trail of marks all the way to the neck of his wife-beater.

"need you, need you s'bad. please, please, ma." he groaned, eyelids fluttering open at the loss of stimulation on his clothed cock.

"be patient, i know you can." you crawled down his body, stopping right before the edge of the bed before tugging on his plaid pajama pants.

chris lifted his hips, helping you as your hands tugged the fabric down to his ankles.

before chris could beg again, you tugged his boxers down, revealing his dick that looked painfully hard.

"need you, mamas. need your hands, please, you're s'good," he whined, bucking his hips into nothing at the thought of your hands around him.

placing a hand on his hips, you stopped his movements.

he groaned out in annoyance before watching you spit in your hand and move it to his cock.

"shit," he gasped shakily, the feeling of your hand moving up and down his length making him shudder.

your thumb circled his tip, gathering the pre-cum from there and spreading it along his length.

your hand began to move faster, making chris moan even louder and buck his hips as best he could. it was all so overwhelming for him, and it was just the first round.

"god, baby, s'good to me." the brunette said in between moans, eyes rolling to the back of his head as his back arched slightly.

"better than your own hand?" you asked, and chris nodded quickly.

you laughed before crawling back up his body, capturing his lips in a kiss once again as you continued the movements with your hand.

chris was already so sensitive, making him more vocal and needy as he chased his high. he couldn't help it when you always looked so fucking gorgeous.

"g'nna cum, fuck, i'ma cum..!" the boy moaned against your lips, his thighs shaking as he continued bucking his hips.

your thumb circled his tip every time you stroked him, making those pretty whimpers fall from his red, puffy lips.

"c'mon, pretty boy, cum for me," you muttered in a seductive tone, and chris let out a low moan before doing just that.

gasps fell from his lips every second as he came down, your hand slowing down just a bit but not exactly stopping. not even when he came back.

he shook his head slowly, eyes squeezed shut from the pleasure that became more overwhelming as you pushed him past his second orgasm of the night.

"too much, baby, please," he didn't know what he was begging for, it felt so good but it also felt like it was too much.

hair stuck to his forehead from the sweat that formed there, and chris threw his head back into the pillows at your reassuring whispers.

"oh, but you wanted me so bad, pretty boy.." you kissed his jawline softly, whispering close to his ear, "you can take it."

"no, no.. can't," he whined, lips growing redder from how hard he bit them.

you rolled your eyes teasingly, the pace of your hand speeding up as you spoke, "you were acting like such a slut earlier, made it seem like you could take more than one,"

he groaned at your words, his resolve fading as he gave into you. his chest rose and fell rapidly, breathing heavy as he tried to keep eye contact with you.

"good boy, always so good," you praised, cupping his cheek with your free hand.

tears swelled in chris's eyes from the overstimulation, quiet sobs slipping from his lips from the pleasure.

it didn't long for chris to cum again, his thighs shaking as he whined loudly.

"see, you're so amazing, baby boy," you cooed, getting off the bed to strip yourself of your own clothes.

chris just stared, scooting up to sit against the headboard and sighing as he stared at every inch of your body.

"so pretty, fuck," he muttered, his dick getting hard just at the sight of your body.

he never knew someone would ever have this effect on him.

you crawled back on the bed, standing on your knees and lining chris's cock up with your entrance.

chris didn't have time to process what you were doing before you sunk down on his cock fully, making him moan out.

"one more for me?" you muttered, pecking his lips before beginning to roll your hips.

it didn't take long for chris to help you bounce on his dick, making it all the more pleasurable as you rode him.

the sounds of skin against skin filled the room along with both of your moans mixing together.

your hands tugged at his hair, making chris whine louder as he bucked his hips frantically into your pussy.

"oh my god..!" chris squirmed beneath you, nails digging into the exposes skin of your waist as he stared up at you.

your mouth hung open, gasps and moans falling out as you continued to ride him, picking up your pace.

"c'mon, baby, one more.." you muttered, eyes fixated on your boyfriends face.

chris cried out as he reached the edge, holding it as he stuttered out something, "need t'cum, please lemme cum, ma!"

you nodded, and a few seconds after chris came undone, so did you.

the brunette boy let out quiet whimpers as he came down once again, his grip on your waist loosening.

"fuck," you whispered, getting off of chris and sitting beside him.

he looked over at you, kissing your cheek with a smile, his eyes droopy from how tired he was.

"i love you," he whispered, resting his head on your bare shoulder.

"i love you, too." you replied, tilting your head to rest on his.

. . . . . . . .

tags: @starsturns234 @joemamaaa42069 @sturniolohisteric @whosthislyssbitch @sturniclo

[sweetdispatch]

We need to talk - Q. Hughes

part 1

pairing: Quinn Hughes x girlfriend!reader

summary: Quinn and his girlfriend have a heart to heart conversation about what happened in the past two days

warning: mentions of sex (nothing graphic), swear words

words: 1.2k

note: continuation to the "The card", thank you for request and pushing me to make second part!

---

When you woke up, Quinn wasn’t by your side, which was unusual because he loved to cuddle you in the morning, especially when he had a free day and didn't have to rush on training. You were laying in bed thinking about the past two days. You and Quinn had an argument. He used the card. You said a safeword. You two promised to talk about it in the morning.

You groaned at the thought of having a confrontation with Quinn. The last thing you wanted was to talk with him about it. You felt embarrassed that this stupid argument had a domino effect and now, you had to explain yourself. You started to wonder if there was even a point of giving him a cold shoulder. It was, you had full right to do it. 

After 30 minutes, you decided to start the day and have the conversation behind you. You couldn’t be mad at Quinn forever. He deserved to hear your point of view and why it hurt you that much. You went into a closet to pick clothes for today and went into a bathroom. You stood in the shower longer than always, trying to collect all your thoughts of what you were planning to say to him. 

You stepped out from the bathroom and took a deep breath before you left the bedroom. There was no turning back now. Immediately you went into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of mint tea. You tried to cut the coffee and you were drinking tea every morning. To your surprise, you saw an already prepared drink on the kitchen island in your favorite mug.

“I heard you going into the bathroom so I made you a tea so you don’t have to wait until it’s ready” You heard Quinn’ words and turned to see him sitting on the couch and reading a book.

“Thank you” You grabbed the cup and took a first sip.

“Also, I bought your favorite donuts. You have them on a plate next to the sink” You looked there and saw three chocolate donuts.

“You didn’t have to go to the bakery and buy them. I would eat something from the fridge” 

“But I wanted” He shrugged. 

You took the plate and mug and sat next to him on the couch. You started scrolling your phone while eating to occupy your mind. You wanted to turn on the tv and watch your tv show but you were too scared. The atmosphere in the living room was tense and the last thing you needed was another argument.

“You can turn on the tv. I don’t mind and you know it” Quinn said, not even bothering to look at you from the book he was reading. 

“It’s fine. I’m almost done” You replied.

After 5 minutes, you finished your breakfast and went to wash your plate and mug. You were doing this longer than always. Everything not to start the conversation about what happened between you in these past two days. You turned off the water and took a deep breath. Quinn finished a chapter and put his book back on the coffee table. 

“I think we need to talk about what happened” He started.

“Yeah, we need to” You replied and sat again on the couch trying to keep your distance. 

There was a silence between you two. None of you wanted to start this unpleasant conversation. 

“I think we should start from the beginning” Quinn took a deep breath. “Why were you so mad after the argument?” 

“Are you serious?” You looked at him and you saw that he didn’t have a single clue. “You said that I’m not doing anything. I get it, you might not see it but I’m cleaning the whole apartment. I’m cooking for you. I’m always washing your suits. I’m doing everything for you to make your life easier so you don’t have to do it and focus on hockey” 

“I never asked you for that” He replied.

“I know, but I’m your girlfriend and I want you to have everything done so you can rest after games” You fought back.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I understand why you got mad but I never asked you for that. Although I really appreciate it. I never saw you doing this and I took everything for granted. It was wrong from my side and I’m truly sorry” Quinn grabbed your hand. “I’m really sorry, I just… I don’t even know what I was thinking when I said it. As I’m thinking now, you’re doing everything here. Sorry for saying that”

“Thanks for saying this but it would be nice if you would start noticing it. It really hurt me when you accused me of not doing anything” You squeezed his hand. 

“I will. I promise to be a better boyfriend and be grateful for the things you are doing. I guess… No, no excuses. What I said was wrong and I need to be better for you. You deserve the world” He brought your hand and placed a kiss on top of it.

“Okay, we sorted things out, it’s time to do something different” You tried to stand up but Quinn stopped you.

“We have to talk about what happened yesterday when we had sex. I know you don’t want to but I need to know for the future” 

“Quinn, drop it. It’s embarrassing” You covered your face in your hands.

“It’s not. We have the word to use it. I just want to know what I did wrong to push you to say it” He gently grabbed your wrists to look at your face. “Please”

“It was too much. I felt overstimulated and overwhelmed by your actions. I needed to cum really badly but at the same time I was too fucked and I said it so you could stop. I’m sorry for this” You said and looked at your legs. Quinn placed his fingers under your chin and you were forced to look at him. 

“Don’t apologise. You had full right to say it. I should be the one to apologise for pushing you too much” 

“I like when you’re rough and dominant but I guess orgasm denial is not my thing” You joked and heard him laughing.

“I’ll remember for the next time. I’m really sorry for the past two days. I was terrible for you” He admitted. 

“Stop it. It was just a misunderstanding between us and things like this happened. Glad we could sort things out” You smiled. 

“Are we alright?” Quinn asked you.

“We are alright” You leaned and pecked his lips. “How about staying on the couch all day and just enjoying the moment of peace?” You proposed.

“I’m up for it” He kissed you again. 

Quinn laid on the couch and pulled you closer to him so could place your head on his chest. You were listening to his heartbeat while he was scrolling through Netflix to find a movie to watch. You two laid in comfortable silence while a movie was played in the background. From time to time, Quinn was placing kisses on top of your head. You were glad that you two were back on the right track. 

[blue-jisungs]

a night to remember

[ song inspo ! ] a night to remember by laufey, beabadoobee

[ author’s note ! ] ive been waiting for AGES to write something borderline psychological/lucid dream-y so HERE YALL GO tbh im proud of this one & u got to see how my brain works on a daily basis (chaos :3)

[ req ! ] yes, here by @slytherinshua <3 hope u like it since i knda went off track teehee

[ summary ! ] riwoo isnt sure which reality is real. or, is there even one sigle reality - are you his? or are you his dream?

[ extras ! ] can be read as both non idol / idol riwoo; ansgty if u look at it, kind of an open ending. its kind of like a puzzle but i dont wanna spoil it - and also, do let me know ur theories hehe<3

[ word count ! ] 1702

[ net ! ] @onedoornet

sanghyeok entered the cafe, headphones playing his recent favorite music. he sat down at his usual spot, in the corner of the room. that way he always had a view for the whole place.

his routine was always the same: order, busy himself until you come in. you either talk or ignore him and then… right. then what? then sanghyeok kind of blacks out, he can never remember how he got home so late.

therefore, he’s stirring his vanilla latte and counting the navy colored sprinkles on his donut. it clearly wasn’t fresh – and naturally, bought from a store. he abhorred this cafe. the sweets were usually old and hard as a rock and their coffee was bitter, too watery for his liking. actually, he hated coffee.

but yet, somehow, he was always here.

he was always here ordering this awful food and horrendous coffee (hell, even their lemonade tastes like water from washing machine after cleaning it with lemon soap). waiting for you. just to look at him. to chat with him.

to kiss him.

“hyeok!”

his eyes shot up and met yours, scrunched in a smile. he straightened his back and waved at you, signaling you to sit down.

but you came up to him and pressed a soft kiss onto his cheek. due to your close proximity he took a deep breath to enjoy your scent. you always smelled like fresh laundry, almost like his pillows and duvets.

“how are you?” you hummed sweetly, voice far more sugary than the donut he ordered. sitting in front of him, you didn’t wait for his answer.

sanghyeok just nodded with a grin, heart easing. you came, after all. your melodic voice started gradually transitioning into an unpleasant ringing in his ears.

riwoo opened his eyes, body jolting forward. he fell asleep.

shaking his head, he blinked away the remains of sleep. reattaching the hand from his chin that he used to prop himself, he felt sore. staying too long in the same position again, he looked around.

the cafe was almost empty. a couple of people he could swear he had seen before and some employees.

riwoo looked at his non-touched order, coffee cold and the foam completely dissolved.

with a heavy sigh he packed his belongings and put his earphones in, heading home.

empty streets were soaked with darkness, only occasional street lamps guiding him home. there and here shadows of passing people followed him, some of them morphing into various shapes rather than being human alike.

he finally slipped back home, too tired and devastated to change into pyjamas.

falling with his headphones on the bed, breathing in the scent of his bed, he–

“hyeok, are you even listening?” your voice hugged him, surrounding all his senses, in a slightly choking hold.

“yes, yes. i just– i missed you” he grinned and felt your hand on his back, rubbing it in a reassuring motion.

“you’re so cute, always daydreaming about me even when i’m next to you” you whispered into his ear.

sanghyeok faced you, something in your eye reminding him of somebody he used to know.

“wait, excuse me. what’s your name, again?”

for a split second your face morphed into fear.

“l/n y/n, silly. i’m your partner” you cocked your head, furrowing your brows a bit “you seem distracted today”

“i just… i thought i was dreaming” he mumbled. something about your touch was unclear, slightly blurry. but maybe he was just making things up.

“i can tell. let me order you another coffee. your macchiato already went cold” you hummed and pressed a tender kiss onto his lips. your comforting scent filled his nostrils.

“right” sanghyeok nodded, zoning out and looking at the piece of carrot cake in front of him. the icing looked ickingly, fluorescently white. unnaturally and fakely.

this day was exhausting. uni was kicking ass and he kind of pushed his limits by going to the gym earlier.

“i ordered. okay, now tell me, where are you taking me tomorrow?” you asked excitedly, sparkles in your eyes.

“tomorrow?” sanghyeok repeated in small voice, scanning your features. he had to blink twice so they sharpened in his eyes.

“yeah! we have our one year anniversary tomorrow! come on, hyeok” you whined, tugging his sleeve. “you told me you have a surprise!”

“i… i do, yeah. i do have a surprise!” he answered with a smile. it must have totally escaped his mind since he had no clue “it will be a night to remember, i can promise you that”

“sounds good” with a grin, you shuffled closer to him.

the rest of the conversation turned into one blur, his answers one worded or one sentenced. he was just really tired.

somehow before he realized, you were putting his scarf on him. right, it’s cold outside.

“you’re so sleepy. let’s just go home, okay? text me when you get back” you smiled softly and cupped his cheeks “i’ll see you in your dreams tonight, hm?”

riwoo’s eyes shot open, body flinging forward. his duvet fell off, chest rising up and down.

he wiped sweat that formed on his forehead and rushedly grabbed his glasses off the nightstand.

taking deep breaths to calm down, he blinked the remains of his sleep away.

who were you?

maybe it was just a cute dream about finally having a partner.

but why is he so scared then?

besides your face seemed similar. and the words… what did you say? something about dreams…

“what the fuck” he laughed breathlessly, putting away his duvet that smelled like came out right from the washing machine.

his friends would laugh if he told them he woke up all sweaty and frightened after dreaming about a date.

busying himself with getting ready, the strange dream escaped his mind. he had to rush to class and then he promised himself he’ll study a bit.

riwoo entered the cafe, headphones playing his recent favorite music. he sat down at his usual spot, in the corner of the room. that way he always had a view for the whole place.

after ordering, he pulled out his books and took a deep sigh.

“lock in��� he mumbled, getting ready to shift obrona focused mode to study the material. next week there’s a really important exam—

“your iced americano and red velvet cake. enjoy” the waiter arrived and riwoo moved his books to make place for his order.

“thank you” he smiled and looked up. the waiter’s face seemed somehow familiar. the eyes were exactly the same shade… no, he’s just going insane.

riwoo shook his head and took a bite of the cake. his face twisted into disgust, the chonky texture making it hard to swallow. should red velvet even be chonky?

he paused the music to listen to the noises of his surroundings. the clacking of silverware, soft jazz music, chatter of customers.

his eyes zoned out on the door, brows slightly furrowed. he had a feeling as if this happened already.

then, he watched you walk through the door. something in your eye reminded him of somebody he used to know, a strong feeling of deja vu hitting him.

riwoo followed your steps with his eyes. you approached the cashier, placed your order and sat down at a nearby table.

he gulped, anxiety creating a web over his heart like a venomous spider.

the waiter gave you your order, a vanilla latte and a donut glazed with navy icing.

before riwoo could realize, his legs lead him towards you. mouth opening to ask for your name, he first gently touched your arm to get your attention but you melted away under his touch.

for a split moment he stared into the steaming cup, halting his moves.

“how can i help you, sir?”

he started at, taking a sharp breath. turning around, he saw the waiter that gave him his order earlier.

“i, uh, just…” he gulped, looking at the place where you sat. riwoo blinked twice but no words came out of his mouth. then, he turned his head back to the waiter.

just to see your face.

so he was right! those eyes seemed familiar!

“y/n?” he asked.

and as soon as your name left his lips, he suddenly saw his room in front of his eyes.

sanghyeok leaned to turn his night lamp on, chest rising up and down irregularly.

“dude, are you okay?”

the door to his room swung open and his roommate, jaehyun, approached him.

“you keep saying weird shit in your sleep, i thought something possessed you”

sanghyeok looked at him, analyzing his face carefully. is jaehyun real? is he really his roommate?

sanghyeok reached his hand out to touch him, to check if he won’t dissolve into thin air too.

“i know you love me but that’s gross” jaehyun scrunched his nose and leaned away before sanghyeon’s fingertips could brush his skin “do you need any water? maybe melatonin? i noticed you have troubles sleeping lately”

“y-yeah. i think it’s the pre-exam stress” sanghyeok stuttered out, his throat itchy “you have some sleeping meds?”

“i got some!”

sanghyeok’s heart stopped in his chest, mouth going dry.

you walked through the door, messy hair and jaehyun’s hoodie draping over your shoulders.

you sat down on the edge of the bed, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

sanghyeok watched you with wide eyes, shifting further away from you.

“c’mon dude, you’re freaking me out. did you have a nightmare? you’re acting like you saw a ghost” jaehyun sighed, rubbing his eye with one of his hands. the other he placed on your shoulder and squeezed it gently.

you grabbed sanghyeok’s hand and opened his palm, putting a navy pill in the middle.

he looked at you, unsure.

“just trust me, you’ll be out like a baby” you whispered sweetly, closing his palm.

and for a mere moment, he couldn’t tell if the laundry smell was his duvet or you.

if he was in the cafe, sitting on a date with you and jaehyun handing him the old, musty donut with navy sprinkles on it.

if the weird sparkle in your eye was real or his lucid dream.

bnd mlist | event mlist

taglist. @rubywonu,, @tricky-ritz ,, @slytherinshua ,, @weird-bookworm

[bidisasterevankinard]

Tease tidbit tuesday

i was tagged by @perfectlysunny02

I'm outling high potential au which contains out of 5 parts but only 3 main ones. Mostly i'm going to create my own crimes, but some of them can be like in the show (I'm almost done with part 1)(Eddie and Buck are official domestic partners who live together and raise 3 kids platonically. Diana is Buck's daugther who's 14 like Chris. Chloe is Buck's daugther who's 6 months old)

“Why did you want me to ask Dimon about Fontana?” Tommy asks Buckely, when the man opens the door.

He knows it's a bad idea to ask that crazy man, but he can’t stop thinking how he misses something and it seems only Buckley can help to understand what.

Buck pouts thinking about all the chaos inside the house he needs to get into order and how he was kicked from the station by the detective himself. Yet, the face of poor Letty and pain from never knowing what happened to Daphne makes him push the door open and rush the detective to the kitchen.

“That goes into that baby,” Buck hold Chloe to the shocked man and pushes banana puree to them “I don’t care how you do it, but make it work,” the donuts from Chris and Diana he pushes to the corner and eggs he made are on the plates in front of them.

“EDDIE, YOUR COFFEE IS DONE AND YOU BETTER RUN IF YOU DON’T WANT TO MAKE YOURSELF AND BOBBY BE LATE FOR THE SHIFT,” he puts the to go coffee cup near the keys and phone, turning to the detective who holds Chloe while Bobby gives her the puree. “When we were at Sofia’s house I saw that all her statues are with dust on them, except one, meaning it was bought recently. And do you know where it is from?Fontana”

“And?” 

“And I just gonna remind you I have a 48 hours shift, Carla is going to be here soon. Love you all, bye. Let’s go Bobby,” Eddie rushes through the kitchen, taking all his stuff and kissing all the kids, “really nice to meet you detective Kinard.”

“You both be safe,” Buck says to Bobby and Eddie when they are leaving the house. “Where did I stop? Oh yeah Sofia. She and Dimon went there together? To Fontana. To do what exactly?”

“I don’t know but we can’t make them tell us because it doesn’t mean anything if they both have alibi. They were in Fontana.”

“Together!”

“Not a crime,” Tommy says again, starting to regret coming.

“Yeah,” Buck says again, looking at the bouquet that Eddie brought to him because it was their "anniversary" three days ago. The roses are still so fresh ... The memories of fresh roses on the picture the mother sent to her daughter and then dry on the crime scene are flashing in his mind. And Alexa’s words that roses can’t day so fast comes to his mind. He looks at the man  who magically made Chloe eat almost the whole puree,  “but what if we're wrong about the time of crime?”

“What do you mean?” the detective frowns at him, and his pretty blue eyes pin Buck to the place, making him hot under the collar.

Diana and Chris frown too, even stop chewing. It’s so cute and funny. Only Chloe keeps smiling at the detective, who keeps giving her her food.

It's actually so sweet how his little baby girl is the size of the man's biceps. Also hot.

“Look at the roses I have here. They are at the same type as at the crime scene. Letty showed me the photo her mother sent to her two days ago when roses were fresh, but on the photos from the crime scene they are dry and dead. How is it possible if less than 24 hours went between the photos?”

“I don’t know?” 

“Temperature changes?” Diana and Chris say in unison, making Buck smile as a proud dad.

“Hmm, yes but how,” Buck hears how the door opens and Carla's voice announces her coming. “Take my jacket, detective. We’re going to the crime scene,” Buck smirks, quickly takes Chloe, kissing her before pushing her in Carla’s hands. He grabs the backpacks and rushes his oldest kinds to the door with a detective behind them. “You two in the car, quick. Me and the detective are going to leave you near the school. And then,” Buck turns to the detective, taking his jacket from him,  “you and me detective are going to answer the question of how roses died so quickly.”

Np tagging @queerbuck @wikiangela @hippolotamus @diazsdimples @theotherbuckley @bewilderedbuckley @devirnis @evanbi-ckley @racerchix21 @repressedqueen @typicalopposite @powersuitup @pirrusstuff @actuallyitsellie @saybiwithme @lavenderleahy @lavenderleahy @aringofsalt @aspecbuddie @desert--moonchild @thehotpilot @hyperfocusthusly @cliophilyra @mmso-notlikethat @monsterrae1 @marvelousbuckley @theweewooshow @bekkachaos @bi-buckrights and anyone who wants to

[sreidsville]

timeless – spencelle.

"cause i believe that we were supposed to find this... so, even in a different life you still would've been mine, we would've been timeless."

summary: elle enters a store and begins to remember her life years ago, before suddenly having to cut the bond that took years to build with her friends and her boyfriend.

disclaimers: suggestive content (+14), emotional situations, arguments, overthinking, mention of panicking.

trope: fluffy, second chance.

n/a: guys… take a deep breath before reading, kay? u'll be fine, i promise, we're going to have a happy ending! also, english it's not my first language, so let me know if there's anything i can improve!

divider by cafekitsune | wc: 3.6k

Down the block, there's an antique shop, a cute and old one, where you find stories in every object in there.

The sky looks gray-ish, and the leaves falling down the street reminded Elle about something special that she has kept in her heart for the past years. Something… someone, but definitely special.

Elle was just passing by, like she always does. Wearing a green shirt, pants, a blazer, high heels and in her hand, coffee. She passes though the same way everyday, but today in specific, something in her head said: Stop! So she walked in.

The bell on the door indicated her arrival, an old man gave her a smile and looked at her over his glasses, but he didn't say anything, so Elle walked around the place, admiring what was around her.

There are pictures, paintings, vinyls, and objects that she had only seen in films from the 50s. Elle looked around one more time, and a pile of books caught her attention. She walks through the corridor, trying to be cautious not to break anything. The first book at the pile made Elle hold her breath, memories crawling back to her mind. Beautiful days, when she was younger… She remembers every detail from that time. She takes the book, holding it, and then, taking a deep breath, she closes her eyes. For a second, it was like she could go back in time, feeling everything. The yellow light coming from the large window, the smell of books and perfume, the comfortable couch, and the most important…

“Elle?”

His voice.

5 years ago.

“Elle?” Spencer’s voice echoes in the room, and the beautiful woman gives him a smile, staring at his face.

She came to his house after texting him if she could, and he, obviously, said yes.

For Elle, he looks absolutely adorable, wearing the sweater she gifted him last week, in halloween. She saw it at the store, the colors orange and black highlighted, and the voice in her head said automatically: he would love that! So she bought it. Little did she know that the sweater is his favorite now. Besides that, he's wearing glasses, Elle’s favorite.

She went to Spencer's apartment after sending a message asking if she could. He said he would leave the door open for her, so when he left the room, she was in the living room, and had taken the liberty of sitting on the couch and observing the place. Spencer’s space is him in objects. Elle sees Spencer in every little detail in there, whether it's the books open on the desk and scattered everywhere, or the coffee machine that she knows is on in the kitchen.

“Hi, Reid” she says.

“What are you doing here?” He approaches with a smile on his face, and she can smell soap and perfume. He just got out of the shower.

“You know, I just wanted to see you, and you told me that the door would be open for me anytime, so, I guess it's not a big surprise seeing me in your living room with donuts…”

This time the smile reaches his eyes, and Elle can't help but smile too. She's wearing a red shirt and black pants. Her brown eyes almost hypnotize Spencer, bringing all his attention to them. God, she looks so pretty.

“You brought donuts?”

“Yes, and it's your favorite” she opens the box, showing him “Chocolate with sprinkles”

“Awn…” Elle left the gaze up to his face again. She loves when he makes these little excited noises when he's happy. It's cute. “Thanks, Elle!”

The BAU members are off, so Elle and Reid spend the rest of the day watching movies like good friends and eating the donuts Elle bought earlier. As time passed, they got closer on the couch, and as much as Reid didn't like physical touch, he didn't mind Elle laying on his shoulder. He sighed when he noticed that she had fallen asleep. Elle is a loving, dedicated and strong woman, but she is also delicate. Reid wants to be the one who protects her when she needs it, a shoulder for her to cry on. And admitting it makes his heart race inside the chest.

“Spencer?”

“Hm? What is it Elle? Are you ok?”

She looks at him, with her head still resting on his shoulder, that way, their faces are close to each other, and Spencer feels the hairs on the back of his neck rise with Elle's breath there.

"Spencer, do you ever feel like you have no control over things?"

"Yes, sometimes"

"Okay... I don't think I can control something I desperately want right now."

Elle lifts her head from his shoulder, and looks into his eyes, but then quickly looks down at his lips, which are slightly open. Their faces are still close, and even more so now, Spencer can feel her breath against his face.

"What do you say to that?"

"That I can't resist either…”

Thousandths of seconds. That's how long it takes for Elle to kiss Spencer. It seems difficult to contain yourself when you've wanted something for so long, that's why when their lips are together, they start to move against each other in a way that Spencer couldn't describe in any way other than special. When Reid sighs against Elle's lips, it's as if something inside her melts, so she deepens the kiss, feeling Spencer's hands move until they hold her face, delicately, in a perfect fit.

They only move away from each other when the rain outside starts hitting the living room window, scaring them for a second, but soon after, they both start laughing, and the atmosphere between them becomes more and more unique… The look Spencer gave Elle made her think that nothing in the world would make her forget that moment. The moment they finally accepted the feelings they had for each other.

“It's raining…”

“I guess I'll need to stay here for a little bit longer…” she smiles, hugging Spencer.

“I’m gonna love that”

The smell of rain reminds her of another day that would be etched in her memory.

4 years ago.

"Elle! It's raining!" Spencer coughs while laughing, running through the streets with his bag over his head, in a failed attempt to protect himself from the falling drops.

Elle also laughs, and when she realizes that Spencer is behind, she pulls him by the hand so that they can run together to the facade of the building where she lives.

They were at a coffee shop hours ago, and after drinking an overpriced coffee, they decided to walk around the center, visiting stores and buying things they probably don't need, but would like to have. Nobody knew about their relationship, even though jokes about their closeness were part of their daily lives, they still didn't know how to admit it to others, so they kept it just between themselves, without labels, they just allowed themselves to feel.

After passing through the hallways and going up to Elle's apartment floor via the elevator, they are greeted by the warm space heater. Spencer takes off the wet All Star and is left with just her colorful socks, which Elle thinks is cute. The woman goes to the bathroom, taking the towel, drying her own hair before offering Reid to do the same, but she can't help but notice how handsome he looks with his wet hair and the tight shirt on his body. It's not like Spencer isn't noticing the delicate contours of Elle's body curves either, and when he realizes he's being watched, he feels his cheeks flush.

"You can stay here until the rain stops..." she says, heading to the kitchen, turning on the coffee maker to make coffee for the two of them. "It's going to be difficult to catch the subway now, everyone must have rushed there."

“Ah, it would be great to spend time with you, actually.”

"Even though we worked today and spent the whole afternoon together?"

"I never get tired of seeing you..."

Elle smiles at the statement, and goes to Spencer, hugging his waist as she looks at him.

Reid can't resist the closeness and caresses Elle's cheek, smiling lightly as he kisses her forehead, and then kisses her lips, delicately but intensely. She sighs, raising her hands to his chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken, Elle loves it when Spencer takes action.

As the kiss continues, the world around them seems to slowly disappear, and before they know it, their hands are running over each other's bodies, their breathing becomes labored and their touches become more urgent, just like the kiss. With a quick movement, Spencer turns off the coffee maker, without moving away from Elle's body, and slides one of his hands to her waist, pulling her closer, but she pulls away enough to see the expression on his face, and it's pure desire, no matter how much Reid tries to hide it. And that's what makes her guide him to her room, closing the door the moment they're inside, alone.

That was supposed to be just a kiss, but the moment they end up in Elle's room, things get more intense and desperate. Now Spencer is sitting on her bed, she's on top of him. His hands are exploring her thigh, his index finger doing circular moves while her hands play with his hair, messing it.

They know what's going to happen next, but when Elle moves her hips against his, it's surprising the way he whimpers and grabs her upper thigh, making her whisper his name, and it's the most beautiful thing he heard in his whole life. For a moment, they both stop the kiss to look at each other. They don't need to say anything, they have this connection between them. Elle is mesmerizing, her brown eyes showing how much she loves him. Spencer keeps staring at her, his Adam’s apple going up and down multiple times, showing that he's nervous and his mind is full of thoughts.

“We don't need to do this if you don't want you, you know that right?”

“I know… But I want to.” His voice is nothing more than a weak whisper.

“Now?”

“Please…”

She doesn't need anything else before moving towards Spencer's lips once again, this time pushing him to lie down on the soft sheets, remaining on top of his body, teasing him from time to time, listening to him whisper how beautiful she is, how much he loves her as she kisses his neck, leaving small marks that make him whimper, increasing the heat in Elle's body.

The senses seemed ten times more acute. What were sighs became low moans as things progressed between the disheveled sheets. Elle and Spencer are so immersed in heat that they almost get drunk on each other's touches.

The minutes pass, and soon, all that's left are sweaty bodies, uneven breathing and a loving hug in which Spencer wraps Elle until they finally fall asleep.

Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever, and even though Elle knew this, she allowed herself to stay in Spencer's arms, even if it meant destroying him later, against her will. That night everything was just a distant fear, but after a while, it became reality.

Their world began to fall apart before Elle could react to try and save them from the inevitable.

3 years ago.

The rain outside the BAU unit is too heavy for people to leave, yet Elle is running after leaving the team leader's office. Spencer knows something is wrong, his girlfriend started changing her behavior months ago, and yet she hasn't told him anything in that time. She seems angry, scared, inconsolable, and most of the time, desperate. No one but Hotch and Gideon knows that she is struggling to protect everyone after an unsub threatens them, and the best way to do that is to cut the bond that she took years to build, including her relationship with Reid.

When she passes by collecting her belongings, Spencer tries to hold her arm, but Elle brutally lets go, and doesn't even look him in the eye. Which makes him think of many possibilities.

‘Is she leaving...? Without telling me anything?’ he asks himself, and the moment the adrenaline starts coursing through his veins, his legs move quickly to reach the woman.

He hears JJ calling him, but the voices of the people around him begin to fade away as the sound of the rain increases as he heads outside.

He finds her, already in the rain, and his only option is to go after her, letting the water start to weigh down his sweater. Elle knows that Reid is after her, and that makes her heart skip a beat, because she understands that he doesn't want to give her up, he would never do that, unless...

"Elle!"

Unless she told him to do it.

"Elle, please, please. What's wrong? Why are you acting like this? Elle?"

"Spencer, leave me alone!"

"Leave you alone?" she keeps walking, trying to get away from him "Why? Elle, could you please...? Elle!”

He grabs her arm, making her stop running from him, from the BAU, from her life, but it's not like she has any other option, she just can't stay, not anymore. He's panting, his heart is pounding in his chest, and the rain is almost blinding him, the falling drops hurt, it just doesn't hurt more than the look Elle directs at him. She seems determined, and he somehow knows there's nothing he can do, yet he doesn't want to accept that fact.

Elle can barely look him in the eye, but she needs to be firm, she needs to convince him. She knows what will happen if she fails. She'll start crying, Reid will hold her, make her stay, looking at her with those brown eyes and... She won't be strong enough.

"Spencer, please let me go." she says in a weak voice.

"You need to tell me what's going on... Elle? Please look at me. You've been acting differently for weeks now! You seem nervous, scared. You don't talk to me or anyone else and I-I don't know how to help you. Tell me...

"I..." she starts, but the words seem to disappear from her mind before she can say something coherent, so she takes a deep breath, starting again "I have nothing to tell you.”

“Don't you have anything to tell me? Even when I'm begging you to tell me something, anything?"

She can't answer. It feels like there's something stuck in her throat. Elle can't even look at Spencer, but she needs to be strong to push him away, to make him believe it's for the better. Spencer is very precious to this world, and she knows that, so she needs to protect him, so that no one hurts him again. That's what she needs to keep in mind now.

"Is it me? Did I do something wrong?"

He says it in a low voice, as if he's going over everything that happened in his head, looking for details that don't exist, answers to why she's leaving, and it hurts Elle. She doesn't deserve him.

"What? No, no, Spencer…”

Elle's eyes start to burn and get wet and she doesn't know if it's because she's about to cry or if it's because of the rain. She can't do this anymore. Spencer has always had this thing where he blames himself when something goes wrong, he thinks he's the problem, when in fact, he's the solution, the light, he just can't see it yet.

'Oh my sweet, sweet boy... If you only knew...'

"Then why? Why are you doing this to me?"

He is hurt, his voice is full of pain. She can't say anything, she doesn't have that kind of response right now, so she looks away to something else, anything that catches her attention, except Spencer.

"Elle, why?" he approaches, trying to hold her hand "You look so scared and I can't see you like this anymore, please let me help you lo-"

"No!" she screams, and the sound echoes like thunder, making Spencer automatically back away, stunned, without understanding the reason for it all.

'Right, I need to do this, no matter how much it hurts him. He'll be fine without me, I know he will and if ever, somehow, he gets angry and blames me, I'll be happy, because it's true, it's all my fault. I just wish I could make it clear that he has nothing to do with this…’

"I don't love you anymore! Don't you understand?"

Spencer's eyebrows knit together, and his nostrils flare, as if he doesn't even understand. His mouth is open, and he's trying to say something but his thoughts are faster than his mouth.

"W-what?" he whispers.

"I can't do this anymore! This..." she opens her arms and spins around. "Us, this job, this life. It's not what I want!"

"You don't...? It's not what you want." he repeats, more to himself, trying to assimilate the words.

"Yes, exactly. I don't want to live like this anymore, I'm leaving... So if you love me, let me go, please..."

She's taking it hard, using the last weapon she has – and the most lethal – knowing that's what she needs. And it happens. Reid takes a step back, ecstatic, as if on autopilot, dissociating from the painful situation. Elle takes a deep, shaky breath, grateful for the rain that forms a curtain that disguises the tears.

She turns around, facing away, and at the last second, she turns to Reid one last time, and one last time, she allows herself to watch him with wet hair and his gaze fixed on her, as if she doesn't believe it.

"Goodbye, Spencer..."

He doesn't respond, so all Elle does is sigh, taking the car key and getting inside, closing the door with a single slam, and then leaving the parking lot. Reid just watches her car disappear, and somehow, he wishes it was a nightmare, but it's not, and deep down he knows it.

Spencer doesn't really know what happened after he saw Elle leave. He walks back inside the BAU unit, looking at the floor, memories flooding his memory.

'No... It can't be. All the smiles she gave me, the kisses, the nights together, the beautiful moments, were they lies? She didn't want to? Did she want that at some point, or did she pretend?'

Reid feels firm arms around him, and only then does he realize he's on the floor, with Derek hugging him as he cries profusely, sobbing, holding onto his friend as if he were the only real thing there. JJ and Penelope stare at the scene shocked, without understanding anything, desperate for not knowing how to help, while, further away from the group, Hotch and Gideon exchange a complicated look, full of regret, sharing a secret that they will keep until the day they die…

"S-she left..." Reid sobs, running his hands over his face, looking like a child "She s-said..."

He begins to hyperventilate, feeling his chest burning. He can't even breathe properly, he's shaking, causing Derek to ask for help so he can take him to a more private place, while Garcia takes a glass of water to offer.

That day was the worst of Spencer's life, but it was definitely the worst for Elle as well.

Elle drove to the airport that night, her bags were already packed for the last week, in the car. Everything seemed like a blur; the moment she gets out of the car and goes straight to the airport, checks in and, after hours, gets on a plane with a predefined destination.

Looking up at the window, her eyes blurred with tears, she allowed herself to cry. The woman next to her seems scared, but does nothing to help her, because there is no comfort in Elle's heart, other than the certainty that, by leaving, she will be saving the lives of everyone she loves.

Hers only prayer during the hours inside the plane was just one; please let me see them again someday.

She just hoped it would happen.

Current time.

Three years ago, Elle left everyone she loved and cared about to save them without even thinking twice. After a while, she learned to move on, but she also couldn't avoid the thoughts and memories of the past that invaded her memory. Spencer would be engraved on her, and she was sure that in another life, they would be each other's.

Opening her eyes, she returns the book to the pile it was in before, and takes a deep breath, smiling, and then gets ready to leave, with the promise that she would return to that same store one day, but to buy something.

As she's walking back the way she came, the doorbell rings, and she hurries to get back to her routine, but her feet settle on the floor when she sees him.

The same light brown hair, but now a little longer and with beautiful waves, the beautiful profile that Elle never stopped admiring, and the eyes... Those eyes. She would never forget him, she couldn't. When he notices her presence there, something inside him lights up once again, after years, and he straightens his posture, looking at her with tenderness, even after everything that has happened.

"Elle?"

And his voice sounds like divine singing. How she missed hearing him call her name... The happiness inside her is too much to contain, so a smile appears on her face.

And there she understands that they will be timeless, no matter what happens.

"Hi, Spencer”

[argumentl]

Osaka Noutei Tora no ana: fan report, Sep 23/24 2023 - Kaoru's talk event!

First I just need to say, I consider myself very lucky to have been able to attend and take part in this event!

I arrived at the venue at about 11:30pm, there were already a lot of fans hanging outside, and almost immediately a staff member of one restaurant opposite the venue building approached me and asked me in a shocked tone what on earth was going on with all these people here!😂 I told him it was an event by Kaoru from Dir en grey, and he just had no idea at all, asking, 'Is he Japanese??' 😆

Some fans were saying then that they saw Kaoru pulling up in a taxi and waving as he walked past them to go inside earlier...damn, I was too late!

After entering the building and lining up, I was eventually THIRD LAST into the venue! My ticket number was twice as high as last time..agh! It made me realise how close I was to not getting a ticket at all 😱 so I was grateful, but I was also stressing, because as my ticket number was so high, I was worried I wouldn't be able to see or hear anything from right at the back. In fact, I WAS right at the very back, there were no tables left and only one lonely chair left, but thank the gods, from that chair I had a clear view of Kaoru the whole time!!

Having said this, I did end up with a bit of trouble...in being handed a bunch of stuff as I entered (q&a paper, coaster, drink order token) and having nowhere to put anything, losing stuff, panicking, and then after that having to balance my drinks/food on my lap all night, but HEY, I could see and hear fine, so its all good!

Again, as far as I could tell, I seemed to be the only person there who was not Japanese. If any other foreign fans were there, let me know!!

The talk started with Fujieda and Takabayashi coming out for a quick greeting before calling Kaoru to join them. For some reason, Kaoru didn't immediately come out when he was called, and the audience ended up having to do encore style clapping before he actually came out 😆

He was wearing a black shirt, khaki shorts, a beanie, and glasses.

Kaoru and the managers got their drinks pretty quickly and Kaoru tried to raise a toast, but as us poor folk at the back still had no drinks, Kaoru decided to delay making a toast until we all had drinks (which, I must say, probably took another 30 mins or so). I'm so grateful he waited for us! 😭😭😭

To start, Kaoru talked a bit about how things had been for the Tokyo exhibition. That big collage board was also propped up on the stage next to them, and he explained a bit about it.

He also talked about his drawing of the Genesa which was on display in Tokyo. It was his original idea for how he wanted the guitar to look.

They then talked about how they came down to Osaka and brought all the art by car the previous day(Friday). When they got to the venue, the people who they had hired to help them set up everything didn't come, so they called the company and it turned out the company had mistaken the date, and thought they were due to set it up on Saturday instead! Thankfully, it was still all ready by the end of Friday, just a few hours later than expected. Kaoru said that while Takabayashi was on the phone seriously trying to sort out the problem, he himself went to the nearby convenience store, Mini-Stop, and bought ice cream. He really likes the ice cream at Mini-Stop 😆 This reminded them of how they occasionally had to go out to DIY stores for extra supplies during the Tokyo exhibition, and Takabayashi bought taiyaki while he was at one of the bigger stores. This made Fujieda jealous, as he loves taiyaki. Fujieda then told everyone that once during Tokyo run, Kaoru bought all the staff donuts from the store JACK IN THE DONUTS.

Kaoru said that he needed extra space to paint while he was creating all the art pieces so he rented a seperate apartment for the short term, just to paint in...but he heard a lot of noise there from people shouting in foreign languages next door (.....or something like that).

They talked a lot about the mangas they all like, as Kaoru had had some of his fave mangas with him on his desk at the exhibition. Fujieda said that as well as being a huge fan of Dragonball and Slamdunk, he is also a huge fan of Death Note. Kaoru found this kinda funny, and asked him if he'd seen the live action remake of Death Note, which Fujieda said he hadn't. This also reminded them of the recent One Piece remake, and then Kaoru remembered the Dragonball Z live action remake, saying it was astonishing...in a BAD way 😂 He even mentioned how Akira Toriyama had refused any association with it.

Speaking of watching things, Fujieda and a lot of the audience have been watching the new VIVANT TV drama recently, and they couldn't believe that Kaoru hasn't been watching it. (I haven't been watching it either, so this went over my head a bit!!😆)

Kaoru said if he could take any manga to a desert island, he would take Kochi Kame: Tokyo Beat Cops, as stuff like Dragonball etc is already all in his head.

During the first half of the event, a screen was lowered behind Kaoru and the managers, and they used it with a kind of overhead projector to showcase some of the new art. Kaoru used the exhibition pamphlet to project images of the art onto the screen behind, which meant we also got a lot of closeups of his hands and arms ☺️ There were also plenty of spoilers for me, since my ticket for the exhibition is for after Tora no ana 😆 (Again, I still feel lucky there, because I heard some women near me talking in the line that none of them had been able to secure tickets to the exhibition at all.)

Just like when writing music, Kaoru said he also ends up with a lot of duds/write offs when he is painting too.

He started having ideas about putting on an exhibition after the completion of Phalaris, but started the actual painting in January this year.

Fujieda and Takabayashi both revealed their fave pieces from the exhibition, and those works were then discussed in more depth.

It was around this time that a woman in my row at the back started bravely calling out comments and questions to Kaoru, which he was replying to! Im fairly sure I recognized her as one of Kaoru's more visible online fans. Oh, to have her courage!!

Ive totally forgotten how they got onto this topic, but at one poInt Fujieda started talking about how he used to regularly get brazillian waxes when he used to be a bandman. And these days he also waxes his nose hairs...you're welcome for the mental image!😂

It was well past 2am by the time the break was announced. Kaoru dissapeared back stage for around 15mins, and by this time I was also kinda drunk.

After getting restarted, there was a bit of casual talk for a while iirc, and then the Q&A section began.

Once again Im going to start this part of the report by saying my question and name were read out!! BUT with hilarious/tragic results!😂 My question was concerning Kaoru's old band Charm, since he had displayed the flyer in Tokyo, and I also asked if he could expand on his pre-Dir band history in general.

Fujieda was like, "Ok, this question is asking about Charm, what kind of band was it, and stuff? I can't even understand the rest of the question..", and then he promptly announced my name to Kaoru too! I'd be lying if said I didn't feel slightly dead from embarrassment at his last remark! 😂 But let me clear things up here! Remember I said earlier that I was practically last to get inside with no table? Well, I knew I had barely any time left to scribble down a question when I got in. I had mentally prepared the question in my head in advance, so I had to write it as fast as I could with one of those flimsy plastic clip/pencil things, resting on my knees, in a totally frantic state, and in VERY poor light...in my second language! 😂 My handwriting was certainly rushed and untidy, and knowing me, I probably made errors and missed out words etc in my haste. I was actually shocked that it was picked up at all, considering its lack of readability, and the fact that so so many of the other question sheets just got passed straight over. So after some consideration, Im taking this as win! 😂

As for Kaoru's answer, he basically said he has nothing to say about Charm, as if HE was embarrassed to talk about this topic! So yehy, I managed to embarrass us both!! 😆😆 Again, Im taking this postively, you only live once, and I will never forget this! 😂

As for the other questions, he was asked various things, includIng firstly which of the other members is most into exercise? To this he said probably none of them, since none of them are actually inherently sporty.

One question congratulated Kaoru on Hanshin winning the series (the whole audience applauded this), and asked for his alternative suggestion to diving off the Ebisu bridge in Dotonbori. (This practice has been banned due to people getting hurt/killed while jumping off the brige in celebration) Kaoru sarcasticly suggested diving off Tsutenkaku tower instead...the audience was audibly shocked 😂

Another fan asked about how the other Dir members refer to Takabayashi, since Kaoru always calls him Tōru. Apparently the other members call him Tōru too, except Shinya who refers to him as 'kimi'(you). But then again, Shinya refers to Fujieda as 'kimi' as well.

About half way through the Q&A Kaoru introduced some of the merch available at the exhibition, using the overhead projector to showcase it.

Another question asked the dates for the fan trip next year, and Kaoru confirmed it will be on the 16th and 17th of Feb. He already has the location decided and the venue booked, but he couldn't say any more for now. The only hint was that is was nothing like all the suggestions considered back in March. The official announcement will be made next month.

Someone also wrote something suggesting that Kyo and Kaoru do should a shared birthday event, because they didn't like having to choose bewteen Kyo and Kaoru's seperate events. Kaoru was reluctant to do this, because 'its him, right?' (i.e We all know what Kyo can be like when he feels like it...or not!) 😅

There were a few other questions about the usual things, food, baseball etc, and after the Q&A was finished, Kaoru declared he was gonna give away a signed nouteikarano2 poster to one audience member. He asked everyone who wanted to win it to stand up, and then started a game of rock paper scissors, with him against the audience. In the end one fan was remaining and she was called to the front where Kaoru handed her the poster! Obviously I lost against him, but I'm just happy to have played!!😄

As the event was coming to an end an audience member quietly ordered two rounds of tequila shots for Kaoru, and the managers! The were kinda surprised, but still drank them! (Tonnes of food and drink which the audience had been ordering for them was still left over though!)

To end Kaoru stated that the streets were still full of weirdos at this time in the morning (4:30am)..so to be careful (Like, its dangerous, but off you go anyway! 😂). Takabayashi confirmed that, yes, the clubs are still very much in operation at this time. So I avoided the backstreets on my walk back alone! Haha.

Much more was talked about in addition to the above of course, he talked the night away! Despite my blunders, I do feel very lucky to have been here, and it was joy to be drinking till morning with him! Next...the actual exhibition!😅

[mebemilena]

You are my Candy girl and you got me wanting You

A/N:  life is tough sometimes and i got a few issues. There was this stray cat, we called him Sushi. He'd come to visit nearly everyday and i was preparing to adopt him. Sadly, he passed away. Little guy was run over by some irresponsible shithead. He wasn't living at my house yet and i'm not okay about it , i wish i had done something sooner. We took him to the emergency vet but he didn't make it. I feel so small sometimes. 

I didn't want to leave more fanfiction on the wait because i love writting, but i've been feeling sad and tired about everything. Thank you for the kind messages though, I appreciate them. 

A/N 2: we don't celebrate valentine's day in Brazil, we have another saint for romantic relationships and marriage and it's celebrated around June 22nd, i guess. 

-

Summary:  you're working doing errands for a bakery on valentine's day. You're not amused but Maya likes you. 

tittle from Sugar, Sugar by The Archies (one of my favorites)

- 

You took your bike and went to the Firefighter station, your first stop. Wandering around Tamaha, you noticed there were more couples than you'd usually see. The stores seemed more pink and there were love songs playing everywhere.

"A box of donuts for Boonie!", you entered the patio yelling, hitting the small hornet on your bike.

Boonie came almost running to you, she grabbed the box and smiled. She checked it for any name on the outside but there was no card, no name nor anything that could identify who had sent it. She shrugged, opening the box. 

"Why are you grumpy? It's Valentine's day, smile!", she took a large bite of one of her treats.

You looked at Boonie frowning, you hated Valentine's day. Especially because the one person you wanted to be your valentine seemed so out of reach.

"It's a holiday created by Europeans to sell cards and chocolate.", you muttered just as Maya arrived. Maya and her leather jacket, riding that motorbike and looking like the woman of your dreams.

She parked the vehicle and took off her helmet, her eyes landing on you instantly, a smile trying not to appear.

Maya walked towards you and Boonie, greeting the two of you. "Why do you look upset?", she signed to you, accepting one of the donuts Boonie offered. You huffed and replied slowly. "i don't like today. Valentine's day.", you signed.

Boonie smiled at herself, she's been helping you with ASL vocabulary lately. You nearly begged her to teach you so you could impress Maya during class, but she talked you out of it. "It's a pretty great opportunity for you to spend more time together. Ask her for extra classes!", she had said. But she did teach you a few more signs and of course you could practice with her too.

Maya contemplated for a moment, she finished the donut and cleaned her hand on her jeans. "We can study love words today, and i'll teach you how to ask someone on a date.", she started. "I can teach you how to flirt too.", she smiled, confident, not knowing you were already charmed. 

For the first time in a few weeks you understood all of what Maya signed. You couldn't reply how you wanted to, but you did understand and that made you blush.

-

You and Maya planned on practicing your daily vocabulary at a bakery store, eating cake. But first you had to go to Skully's store, him being one of your errands' destinations. 

"Oh, someone remembered me on Valentine's day?", the old man nearly giggled as you handed him a small package, a few decorated cupcakes inside. "Is it from pokni?", Maya asked, making Skully blush and smile. He nodded, not trusting his words as another wave of giggles left his mouth.

You smiled at the old man's antics, a bittersweet feeling spreading on your chest.

-

 Maya noticed you were too quiet. You barely looked around, your eyes on the floor while you pushed your bike around. The two of you bought some soda and pretzels for lunch and sat at a bench to eat and chat.

Maya sighed, she looked around and could finally notice the amount of couples and flowers around Tamaha, her eyes stopping at a couple on the other side of the street. She looked at you and back at them, nudging your shoulder with her own.

"I know you are upset" , she signed. "But it's just a day. You don't need a valentine to celebrate.", she signed to you. "But if you want one, I can be it. Though I like to be with you many other days too.", she smiled, that big smile that showed most of her teeth. 

Your heart danced inside your chest, you could feel the vibrations all over your body. Thump-Thump. Thump-Thump. You kept staring at her, thinking of an answer.

"I understand what you say, but i don't know reply.", you finally signed to her, watching her face turn into a half-surprised expression.

"Someone's finally studying more?", Maya mocked you, nudging your shoulder with her own. Again. 

You noticed she does that as an act of affection.

"I don't need...", you started, trying  to remember the signs. "C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E", you spelled , your hands moving slow. "I have something. More. Candy", you continued. "I have you.", you signed, nervous.

Maya laughed but she understood what you meant, leaving the opportunity to correct you for later. She took a caramel candy from her jacket pocket and gave it to you. "Not chocolate.", she told you with a smile, leaning to give you a kiss on the cheek. 

You sighed, your big smile matching Maya's.

"Happy Valentine's day, Maya.", you signed, linking your arms together as you ate the pretzels and watched the couples walk around town from your bench. 

[saiilorstars]

Ch. 59: Fearing the Unknown

Previous chapters // Montserrat’s masterlist

Fandom: SVU // Pairing: Rafael Barba x OC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @arrthurpendragon​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @anotherunreadblog​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @averyhotchner​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @abzidabzy​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @hellofutur​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @foxesandmagic​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @xovalliegirlxo @sam-i–am @kmc1989 @midmourn @choosejoyangel​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

[If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message]

Montserrat made a mental note to replenish the bottle of scotch in the kitchen. Granted she was sure that Rafael was responsible for drinking most of it but since she took the last pour, he would definitely blame her.

He's lucky I like him enough to buy another bottle for him. She smirked to herself. She supposed it was fair in these cases. He bought her tons of sweets. She was expecting her bag of desserts to be arriving any second now.

When she heard her phone buzzing on the counter, she presumed it was Rafael apologizing for being so late. She answered the call, though did notice it was an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Montserrat Novak?"

"Yes, who is this?"

She should have never asked. One moment, she was drinking scotch and the next she was almost having a heart attack. Scotch abandoned — spilling over the counter — she was bolting to the hospital. An outright mess, she yelled her questions and demanded answers at the front desk in the E.R. room. She couldn't possibly think one coherent thought at the moment, not until she knew what exactly was going on.

The nurse behind the desk, bless her heart, remained absolutely at ease. She was used to it. "Ma'am, you need to calm down," she told Montserrat.

But such a suggestion was out of the question.

"I got a call telling me that my boyfriend was shot and he was taken here! SO WHERE IS HE!?" Montserrat's fists came down on the desk, rattling a bowl of pens on the side and yet none of that fazed the nurse. She was about to pull her shield out if that were to make things move faster when someone cut in.

"Scuse me?"

Montserrat's head flipped in the direction of the voice, immediately spotting a young woman trying to approach her. She didn't blame the woman; she probably looked horrific right now. The woman's blonde hair was pulled into a low ponytail and her face seemed as disconcerted as Montserrat. What the latter noticed, however, were the dry stains of blood on the blonde's shirt and thighs.

"Are you the girlfriend who likes sweets?" the blonde asked cautiously.

Montserrat had no idea what the hell was going on but now she understood even less. She turned away from the desk for a moment, nodding her head at the question. "Who the hell are you?"

The blonde cleared her throat, one hand coming up to rub the side of her neck. "I'm Clara, um…I'm the one…I made the 911 call. I think he was your, uh..."

Montserrat's eyes widened. Screw the nurse. She ran up to Clara, startling the woman when she yelled. "What happened!?" She practically shook Clara as she begged for answers. She ignored the nurse behind them calling for calmness.

"Um, he, your boyfriend, he was, um…he was buying pastries and we were, um, we were talking about blueberry champagne donuts and then suddenly…" Clara's eyes shined with tears, the fear still etched across her face, "This man came in with a gun…he was going to rob us but…" She shook her head, "He told me to get on the floor so I did. I heard them talk for a bit — Rafael hit him or something, I didn't see — and then he told me to make the call. I was in slow-mo so he went for his phone instead. It was at the other end of the room. The guy shot him."

As far as that story went, it wasn't the worst one Montserrat had heard in her line of job. Clara seemed more than traumatized but she was still able to retell the story of the incident decently.

Montserrat was always a cop in these situations. She had a clear mind of what protocols looked like and what she should do. Right now, she couldn't remember a damn thing. "O-okay," she nodded her head, turning away from Clara. Now she was shaking. "Oh…okay…okay…"

"Ma'am, you need to sit down..." The nurse hurried over as Montserrat's legs started buckling.

Everything was ringing in her ears at the moment. How she managed to get to the hospital in the first place was beyond her. "I-I-I don't understand h-how…I don't understand…" Montserrat couldn't finish her sentence for lack of air and thoughts.

The nurse and Clara sat her down in one of the waiting seats.

"Ma'am, you might need to see a doctor," the nurse said, but Montserrat didn't hear.

"We were going to have dinner…dessert…" She swallowed hard. Her eyes shifted from side to side, taking in the busy room. "He called me..." That call couldn't have been more than half an hour ago. What happened?

"Ma'am, let's get you to—"

"No!" Montserrat pulled her arm back as soon as the nurse tried making her stand.

"But you're—"

"I said no!" Montserrat snapped. "What I want is to see my boyfriend! What I want is to know why the hell he was shot! There's many things I want to know and seeing a damn doctor is not on that list so GO!"

Clara watched the nurse let out a frustrated sigh and retreat to the desk. She was sure that once Montserrat calmed down, she would probably apologize to that poor nurse.

Montserrat rested her elbows on her lap and leaned her head into her hands. Clara felt awful.

"Yeah, I was there," she sighed, "I froze. I have lived in New York my whole life and I've never even been mugged. Tonight…I almost saw God."

Montserrat finally glanced at Clara. She seemed very young now. Her eyes fell down to the stains. "The blood…"

"Oh," Clara looked at her stained jeans, "Um..." she was very hesitant to explain, even though Montserrat was pretty sure she knew what Clara wanted to say. "Uh, it's...it's his. I'm sorry."

Montserrat felt very sick. It had been a long time since she threw up but tonight might be the night she went through it again. "Wh-where did...where was the bul...?"

"The bullet went near the stomach and kidney, I think. I needed to stop the blood until the paramedics got there. I'm in medical school…" Clara let her head hang low, "Fat lot of good that did "

"You stopped the blood," Montserrat put a hand on Clara's arm. "He's here, isn't he? That's because of you." And that is what she was clinging to right now. Rafael wasn't gone. He was still here, somewhere in a room.

"They took him into surgery," Clara said, "I...I haven't heard anything."

Montserrat nodded. She took in another breath — several ones — to calm herself down. She looked at Clara again and the stains on her clothes. "Have you been checked?"

Clara nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I...nothing happened to me."

"Yes it did," Montserrat said. "You're not physically hurt but mentally? Have you called someone yet? For you? Parents?"

Clara shook her head. "No, I, um, I didn't even think about it, honestly."

"You should, at least so you're not alone."

"I'm not alone," Clara offered her a small smile.

Montserrat couldn't really manage any kind of chuckle. She felt like right now she could only focus on continuing her breathing. She could only do one thing at a time. "Well, you should rest, then. I'm not...I'm not going anywhere." No way in hell she was going anywhere. She always thought she would never have to be anything related to the word 'victim' again, but somehow this felt a thousand times worse than the last time.

"I'm going to stay with you," Clara said, "They only gave me so much information and since you're his girlfriend, they'll tell you more. I can't leave without knowing if he's going to be okay. He saved my life."

Montserrat nodded shakily. "Thank you." She gulped. She looked at the reception desk, suddenly regretting her treatment of the nurse. With Clara's help, she stood up and walked over to the nurse to ask her (more calmly this time) about Rafael.

He was indeed in surgery and there was no time stamp on when he would be out. The next hours would be agonizingly long and it wouldn't be until Clara asked if there was anyone else who would want to be there with Montserrat that the latter remembered — family.

"Oh God," Montserrat sunk in her chair again, bringing one hand over her hair. "If his grandmother finds out, she'll have an actual heart attack!" She checked the time on the clock on the wall. "They're both probably sleeping."

If anything, she would have to talk with Lucia first to decide how they would tell Catalina. And right now, she really saw no point in getting Lucia out of bed to come down to the hospital to wait on uncomfortable chairs. For the time being, Montserrat settled for calling the others. She went with the obvious for reasons and only because they would notice she wasn't coming home the next morning.

"Montserrat!" Kara exclaimed as soon as she spotted her best friend in the waiting room.

Montserrat raised her gaze off the floor just as Kara and Sonny joined her. She looked exhausted and that was more than when they closed the case earlier.

Kara enveloped Montserrat in a tight hug. "Oh my goodness, how did this happen?"

Montserrat's shoulders slumped together. "I'm still trying to understand," she said weakly. No amount of coffee could stop her voice from shaking. "Clara — the-the barista where he was said somebody tried robbing them. He had a gun…"

The rest was pretty obvious.

"Did the girl get a look at him?" asked Sonny, already in detective mode. It was impossible to turn off, especially when it dealt with their own. Montserrat envied him at the moment because try as she might, she could not go into the same mode.

"I don't know," she said, sounding even more exhausted, "She says he wore a ski mask. She said, she said Raf—he talked to the man…"

"Okay, okay," Sonny knew this was probably the worst time to be talking about what happened. All Montserrat could think of was the pending surgery and that was completely fine. He could take the rest. "I'm going to call Liv, okay?"

"No…" Montserrat barely shook her head, "She's got baby Noah and…it's late."

"She would want to know, Montserrat," Sonny said, "If it was about anyone else, she would want to know. I'm calling her, okay?" Montserrat had no choice but to agree. "And that barista, do you know where she is right now?"

"She's in the cafeteria getting us some coffee. She's the one who made the 911 call," Montserrat sniffed, fresh tears brimming in her eyes, "She tended to the wound…" She had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop the tears from escaping, "She said there was a lot of blood and—" Her hands motioned in front of her stomach. She couldn't say more.

"Oh Montse," Kara took her best friend into another hug. At that point, Montserrat couldn't help from bursting into tears.

~ 0 ~

Kara stayed at the hospital to keep Montserrat company while Sonny took Clara back to the dessert shop. He had already called to inform Olivia and was waiting for them at the crime scene.

"Hey, no one else?" Sonny asked Olivia as soon as he saw she was by herself with the local officers.

"I have Rollins and Finn at the precinct doing security feed diligence," Olivia explained, "I'm giving Amaro a few days to, uh, digest…"

Sonny nodded. He wholeheartedly agreed that Nick needed a bit of rest after the case with his father. "Uh, well, this is Clara," he gestured to Clara beside him, "She was with Barba when everything happened."

Clara gave a bleak wave of her hand. It was clear she would rather be anywhere else than the shop.

"Sargeant Benson," Olivia introduced herself to the woman and shook hands with her. "I'm so sorry about this."

"Not as sorry as I am for your friend," Clara replied, causing a brief exchange of glances between the cops. "I should have done more but I…I was in slow motion. I can tell now — it's why he got distracted. I didn't get the phone so he went for his and that's when the other guy took his chance. If I would have just listened—"

"Hey, no, it's not your fault this happened," Olivia stepped in to clarify. "Let's just focus on what we can do right now and you, Clara, can do a lot for Rafael right now. Can you take us through the whole thing here?"

Clara nodded. She took a few steps towards the counter. "I was over there, waiting for your friend to order. He, um, he was on the phone. He pointed at the things he wanted but he didn't talk to me until after he hung up."

"Okay, alright, and then what happened?" Olivia said as she and Sonny followed her around the counter.

"He said he wanted to buy sweets — his girlfriend liked sweets a lot."

"And then?"

"I told him about the blueberry champagne donuts…" Clara trailed off seeing the infamous donuts on the floor near the counter and a couple still on the counter where she had left them. "We were going back and forth with them. I told him it was a compromise since they're sweets and alcohol. He told me he wanted four so I went to grab a bag…" She paused, taking a moment to force herself to swallow down and not get overwhelmed thinking about what had come next. "And then he came in."

"The man with the ski mask?" Sonny presumed, glancing back at the entry doors. Nothing had been broken. The perp had come in easily and left as such.

"Yeah," Clara said quietly, her eyes falling over the metal tray stand on the floor, "Your friend talked to him. I was on the floor — the thief wanted me there — and they talked for a couple minutes."

"Was Rafael trying to talk him down?" Olivia presumed.

"I think so. He sounded really mad..."

"Of course," Sonny playfully rolled his eyes. Even in situations like these, Rafael would still find something to be mad about.

"And then I heard the metal tray. The guy fell, I think. I don't know, there were a lot of movement sounds after that until Rafael told me to get the phone."

Olivia stopped by the tray on the floor and studied the angle. She positioned herself as accurately as she could be to see how the situation must have gone by. Rafael was at the counter, he grabbed the closest thing to him and used it as a weapon. The perp fell. She'd check in with Amanda and Fin to confirm.

"If he was here, how did he end up on the floor all the way over there?" Sonny pointed to the spot near the glass wall, halfway across the shop.

"I told you, I wasn't moving fast enough," Clara said, feeling even more distressed now that she was thinking more clearly about it. "I should have moved but I didn't. So, he went for his phone."

"His phone was over there?" Olivia tilted her head, eyes gazing the distance between her current position and where the phone allegedly was.

"Yes," Clara nodded, noticing the strange looks the cops were sharing. "Do you guys not believe me?" That was the last thing she needed. "I-I'm not lying—"

"No, no, it's not that," Sonny mumbled. He went to the spot where Rafael had fallen, preferring not to focus so much on the dried blood stain on the floor. "The phone was here — why?"

Clara shrugged. "I don't know, the guy told him to throw his phone away."

"Throw his phone?" Sonny looked back, frowning.

"Yes!" Clara exclaimed. "Do you guys really think I'm making this up or what!? Why are you looking at me like that!?"

"Clara," Olivia started, putting her hands together, "The officers said nothing was taken from the register."

"Yeah, that's right," Clara confirmed.

"Okay, and he told Rafael to give his phone up but didn't take it."

"Yes!" Clara groaned. "Why!?"

Sonny walked back to the two, grim and serious. "This was never a robbery. Nothing was stolen, nothing was even damaged besides what Rafael used. This was all planned."

~ 0 ~

As soon as Olivia and Sonny returned to the precinct, they relayed their discovery to Amanda and Fin in the bullpen.

"You think this was a homicide?" Amanda was surprised and yet, after a couple seconds thinking about it, felt like it wasn't such a stretch. Their search through the security cameras didn't bring up much except for the unfortunate incident. The perp wasn't identifiable either under the mask.

"Attempted," Finn corrected, "Barba's not gone yet."

"What does Montserrat say about this?" Amanda wondered how erratic Montserrat would be with the news. She imagined Montserrat was already past frantic at the moment; this would make it all so much worse.

"We...haven't told her yet," Olivia admitted.

"She doesn't need to know about it right now," Sonny said sharply, intending for that to be the only warning Amanda and Fin needed to keep quiet. "We can take care of the technicalities on our own."

"Alright, so we run with this angle," Fin started, leaning back in his seat, "It doesn't exactly give us a small suspect pool. Barba's processed too many people to count."

Olivia agreed with Fin. "Let's start looking at the ones that have been recently released, if any. We'll work from there."

"Are we even allowed to work this case?" Amanda made the question once the tasks started being handed out. "We won't get IAB or anything?"

"I'd like to see them try," Olivia half smiled. That was a warning all on its own. "Besides, once I get done speaking with the D.A., I'm sure they'll want this seen to the end."

~0~

Kara returned from the cafeteria with two cups of coffee for her and Montserrat. She sat down beside the ginger, expecting the dead silence. It seemed like Montserrat had cried all she needed. Kara sighed and placed the cups of coffee on the side table stacked with magazines. She honestly thought silence was worse than tears.

"Montserrat — hey, stop that," Kara said, reaching to take Montserrat's hands apart. She was back to picking her nails. "You haven't done that in ages."

"I haven't had strong reasons," Montserrat mumbled.

Kara squeezed Montserrat's hands in hers. "You shouldn't. Rafael is not going to want to see your nails like that again."

"He knows why," Montserrat said quietly. At the moment, she didn't care if her double meanings were understood or not.

"It doesn't mean he would want to see that happen again," Kara reiterated, patting Montserrat's hands. "I'll do your nails later." She already saw spots of dried blood around Montserrat's nails.

"Hey, Novak!"

Montserrat's head snapped up, eyes falling on Nick just as he came to a sprinted stop beside their chairs. "Nick? What are you doing here? You've got the days off—"

"Forget about that," Nick said quickly, "Rollins texted me. How's Barba?"

"Still in surgery," Montserrat replied, "We've been waiting for someone to come out and tell us something — anything, at this point, really."

"Hey, it'll be alright," Nick said, bending down in front of Montserrat to hug her. "Guy like Barba — he doesn't go down that easily. I actually pity the fool who did this to him because when Barba gets through with him...yeah…"

Montserrat wanted nothing more than to take refuge in Nick's words. She thought he was right. Rafael was strong. He didn't go down without a fight. It's what he did for a living. But she couldn't find the strength to think like that right now. She couldn't see past the end of the surgery. Until the doctors came out and told her that everything was fine, she couldn't think of anything else.

"Thanks for coming," Montserrat settled for the polite thing to do at the moment. She pulled back from Nick, offering what she hoped was a decent little smile. She knew she looked like a mess right now.

"You said it, we're friends," Nick said, "And I want to be a better company for you than I was earlier. What you said about my father...you may have been right and I'll work on it."

Montserrat appreciated his honesty. "It's a long process, trust me. Still working on it myself."

"Maybe we can work on it together," Nick suggested, causing a small chuckle between the two. "In the meantime, I'm going to stay here with you."

"But your daughter…" Montserrat didn't want him to waste his only days with his daughter before she had to go back to L.A.

"She'll be sleeping until noon," Nick waved it off. "Don't worry." He gave an acknowledging nod at Kara before taking the seat on Montserrat's other side.

From there, the three of them began their collective waiting.

~0~

"Okay, so there were only three recently released convicts that were processed by Barba," Amanda told the others at the conference table. "We've eliminated one because of an alibi. He was working at the time of the assault."

"And the other two?" asked Olivia.

"Fin and I are about to go talk to the second one right now," Amanda said, getting an agreeing nod from Fin beside her.

"And the security feed?" Olivia turned eyes to Sonny who sat one chair down from her. He was engrossed in his laptop, watching the security feed of the dessert shop.

"The guy's in a ski mask all the time," he informed, eyes flickering up from the screen, "But Barba does clock him." He tried his best not to let any amusement slip from him but the fall of the suspect was more than hilarious. "Twice."

"Least the guy will have a mark to identify him with," Fin remarked.

"Anything else?" Olivia prompted them to keep the conversation going. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket and reached inside for it.

"Clara was right," Sonny said, resigned. "The guy makes Barba throw his phone but he doesn't even take it. He doesn't even go near the register. He just talks to Barba then tries to shoot him."

"Yeah, we saw that too," Amanda said. "Robberies don't usually go down like that."

"But without Barba, we can't know what they were talking about," Sonny said, closing his laptop. He'd already seen the shooting and would rather not go for a repeat. "Because whatever they were talking about, it seemed to put both of them on edge."

"We'll have to wait until he's conscious then," Fin said.

"Well maybe we can start now," Olivia cut into the discussion as she looked up from her phone. "Surgery's done. Barba's out."

~0~

The group of detectives met the others at the hospital just as Montserrat was finished talking with the doctor. Her walk back to the group was slow, obviously exhausted, but nobody said a thing. They waited anxiously to hear the news.

"The surgery went fine," she said slowly, "But he's still unconscious. We have to wait to see how his body will react."

"Okay, well, we got past one bad step," Olivia said, hoping that would cheer Montserrat a bit. "He'll be okay, you'll see."

"I was telling Montserrat since Rafael's going to be out for a couple more hours, she should go home and get some rest," Kara said with eyes sharp and fixated on Sonny for backup. "She hasn't slept at all."

Sonny was quick to agree and, thankfully, so were the others.

"I can drive you over there," Sonny offered since he'd driven Kara to the hospital in the first place. "You need to eat something too. We can stop on the way for some take out."

Montserrat shook her head. "No, no, I don't want to leave him. And I'm not hungry."

"He probably won't wake up for a while, Montse," Sonny insisted, "He won't even know you're gone."

"I'll know," Montserrat argued, "I don't want to leave him here."

"How about this," Nick step forwards, "I can stay here while you go home. You rest, eat, shower — take care of yourself before you come back here, alright?"

Montserrat looked at the others. While they didn't outright say it, she was smart enough to know that this fight was lost the moment it started. They were just being kind enough to pretend that she had a choice. If she didn't walk out, they would drag her out.

"I will be back soon," she warned them. "Just...just gonna change and—"

"Sleep," Kara finished for her and wrapped her arm around Montserrat's. "Even just a nap! Sonny, let's go!" She was quick to start walking with Montserrat before the latter started putting up a fight.

~0~

One hour later, Kara was coming out of Montserrat's room with a tray of half eaten food. Sonny was finishing up a call when she joined him. She placed the tray of food on the table with a sigh. "She didn't eat very much."

Sonny made that conclusion with the half eaten sandwich still on the tray. "At least she drank," he nodded at the empty glass next to the plate. "She's sleeping?"

"Yeah," Kara shrugged, revealing a smirk. "I slipped in some nyquil."

Sonny openly gaped at her. "Kara!"

"Well!" Kara threw her hands above her head. "You heard her before we even walked into the apartment! Montserrat was swearing up and down that she wasn't going to sleep. She was only coming to shower and eat and head back to the hospital. I had to do something!"

"So you slipped Nyquill into her drink!?" Sometimes, Sonny couldn't believe half the things that came out of his mouth where Kara was involved. "You — you are insane!"

"Oh calm down, she's sleeping isn't she?"

"Not by choice!"

"She will be fine and well rested. She needs to sleep, doesn't she?"

Sonny knew he could stand there and argue with Kara all day long and still somehow lose. "You — she's going to kill you," he warned Kara instead. "She's absolutely going to kill you."

"It's a chance I'm willing to take," Kara smiled. "And she won't even know about the Nyquill. She'll just think she was so tired that she fell asleep."

Sonny shook his head. On some level, Kara was helping Montserrat out but it still didn't feel right.

"Let's move on," Kara suggested, something that Sonny could agree on given that he would have to leave soon. "What's going on with the case?"

"You know I can't tell you," Sonny gave her a look, one that Kara gave right back.

"Don't even waste time with that. You've told me about other cases."

"Difference being you weren't involved with the other cases," Sonny pointed out, "You are Montserrat's best friend. Anything I tell you, you're going to tell her and she's not up to hear any of this right now."

Kara took a moment to read between the lines. "Wait a damn minute, what can't Montserrat know? What did you find, Dominick?"

"Oh no," Sonny pointed at her, "Only my mother does that. You're not doing that!"

Kara rolled her eyes again. "Can we please just skip through all this!? What did you find out!?"

"Montserrat can't know anything! Promise me you won't tell her!"

"C'mon, we're not—"

"Promise me, Kara!" Sonny demanded. "Otherwise I will not tell you anything."

Now it was Kara who saw herself without options. She groaned. "Fine, I promise! Now tell me what you know!"

Sonny was still reluctant but, because he trusted Kara, he told her what they learned so far. By the time he was done, Kara had already sat down in the nearest chair. Her mouth was open in shock, eyes wide to match. "You think somebody wanted to hurt Rafael on purpose? Why?"

"He's a prosecutor. Unfortunately, it comes with the job," Sonny said. "It wouldn't be the first time a case like this happened."

"Okay, well...now I get why you don't want Montse to find out about this," sighed Kara. "But you do know that she will eventually find out and she'll kill you specifically because you're her partner and you didn't tell her." She reached forward and shoved Sonny. "And then you'll have me worrying about you because you're going to be dead."

Sonny half smiled at her. "It's a chance I'm willing to take." Kara deadpanned him for his use of her words. "I'm sorry. This is just for the better. Montserrat's head is all over the place. This will only just make it worse."

"I see your point but it doesn't make me feel any less guilty," Kara mumbled.

"We'll tell Montserrat eventually, I promise," Sonny said, "But for now, it's best to wait until things are better."

"Okay, fine," nodded Kara. "So what happens now?"

"We keep investigating," Sonny said, "We're rounding up possible suspects but honestly it's not going so well. There's too many to go through. Barba's worked as a prosecutor for a long time."

"Why don't you ask Casey Novak for help?" Kara's suggestion was both startling and puzzling. "Doesn't she work with Rafael on some cases? They're close at work. If anything, she can help you weed out the suspects."

Sonny started smiling widely. "Now I remember why I love you."

"Oh," Kara's voice went sharp enough to make Sonny wince, "So you didn't love me for a moment back there?"

"No, I just meant—" Once she got started again, Sonny started wondering if there was any more Nyquil left.

[sugar-softies]

Day 7: Donut Devotee

Reggie was thrilled when a new donut shop opened up in his neighborhood.

The husky didn't drive, everywhere he went had to be walking distance or else he had to get a ride, and getting a ride or paying a bunch of delivery fees just for donuts always felt silly. Having a shop so close to his house finally gave him an opportunity to treat himself.

He arrived at the shop the day it opened, eager to take advantage of the opening day promotion to buy a dozen and get a dozen free.

"I'm gonna hand some out at work, and save the rest to get me through the week," he told the cat working the register, as he leaned jauntily on the counter and wagged his tail.

He was not disappointed with his first taste, he bit into a Boston kreme and closed his eyes with delight as the sweet custard oozed out of the pastry.

He ended up eating two donuts on the walk home, and another two once he'd gotten there.

He expected the novelty would wear off eventually, but his delight at the new shop persisted for quite awhile.

"Two bear claws and a strawberry sprinkle please! And you guys do coffee too, right?"

He found himself starting everyday with a donut and a small sugary coffee.

Well, for a couple weeks anyway. Then he started his days with two donuts and a medium sugary coffee.

Then it was three donuts. Four donuts and a large coffee. Five donuts and two coffees. Soon he was going through a dozen a day, and amazingly he would look back on those days and think about how small that amount was.

The cat working the register looked up with surprise and almost concerned amazement as Reggie squeezed through the door, his furry stomach hanging free from an 3XL shirt with the shop's logo on it that he'd bought only two weeks ago back when it had been a perfect fit.

Reggie was smiling, panting, and wagging his tail as he approached the counter and leaned against it, no longer with a jaunty angle but now with a need for support.

He took a second to catch his breath before grinning and placing his order. "I need five dozen assorted, three large frozen coffees one with caramel, one with vanilla, and one with mocha, and I heard you guys are doing croissants now? I'll take four of those, and... actually can I add a half dozen more donuts? I'm really hungry today."

[hyperpsychomaniac]

You Can Do Better - Chapter 5

First chapter

Summary: After Erik lets slip he started the war with the Trolls on purpose, Gerda forces him to make things up by doing all the dirty jobs around Safety Patrol. But Erik won't take it lying down.

***

Erik continued to do the chores Gerda asked of him. He still bought donuts to work occasionally; but he would leave them in the lunchroom - there was no chance of interrupting the briefing there and Gerda could not get mad at him. Now though, he realised it would be no quick fix. Still, it seemed something he should keep doing. Like cleaning the Safety Patrol vehicles. Gerda hadn’t asked him to do so, but they were always covered in a fine dust. If he took each of them home, that meant he could wash them and Safety Patrol’s transport would at least look somewhat respectable. Gerda must have noticed their cleanliness improving, as focused on details as she was, but she said not a word. Erik simply assumed this meant she didn’t mind him driving them home.

This morning, Erik drove in the vehicle he'd cleaned the evening before and stopped on the way to grab donuts from the bakery.

On arrival, he booted open the door to Safety Patrol’s reception area.

“You are getting far too comfortable,” said Delores. “You're in danger of breaking that door again.”

“I wouldn't do that!” said Erik. “Then I'd have to fix it.”

He took the donuts and dumped them in the lunchroom, then turned to the kitchen. The Bell Keeper was standing, leaning against the counter, a mug in his hand, smirking.

“Well, I see you're early.”

“Got to get in before you murder my coffee,” the Bell Keeper said. “Speaking of which...” He handed the mug to Ahlberg.

“What? What’s this?” It wasn't the Bell Keeper's usual mug, with the ring of coffee stain around the top.

“Try it. That's how you make coffee - properly.”

Erik raised an eyebrow, sensing some kind of trap. Still, he could think of no response where he could save face, save for taking a cautious sip. He spluttered. “Good lord. This is how you like it? It tastes like motor oil!”

“It's not about the taste - it’s about the kick.”

“If you want a kick, why are you drinking instant?”

“Because I like the taste.” He slapped Ahlberg on the shoulder and sauntered out with his own mug.

Erik stared after him, then his lip slowly twitched upwards. That seemed like a point to him. The guy had made him a cup of... well... coffee. He tipped the rest down the sink and headed to the janitor’s closet. Collecting the cart, he headed down the hallway. Gerda was walking towards him. And she wasn't alone. Okay, here went nothing. He should do this. It was the right thing to do, the polite thing to do. Gerda would approve.

“Chief Officer Gerda, good morning!” Erik gave her a wink.

She raised an eyebrow. He'd probably confused her, using her rank... and winking. Okay, that had been a tad much. “Good morning, Erik,” she said, cautiously.

He stepped aside until she had just moved past him, then added. “Good morning, Deputy Chief Elven-liaison Officer Alfur.” Gods, now that was a mouthful, but he'd been sure to get it right.

The little elf on Gerda's shoulder turned and raised an eyebrow, almost in unison, with Gerda doing the same.

“You can see me?” he said.

“Of course. That's why I said good morning.”

“You signed the paperwork,” said Gerda.

“Delores had a copy on file for new officers. I figured it wouldn't be a problem.”

Gerda stared at him, squinting a little. “It's not...”

“Did he though?” said Alfur, narrowing his eyes, and again mirroring Gerda’s expression. “It is very involved.”

Erik scowled. “I can do paperwork, involved or not. And if I can't see you, why am I looking right at you?”

“Hmm... hang on for a minute.” Alfur ran up Gerda's shoulder and grabbed onto her earlobe.

“Ow! Alfur... what are you doing?”

“Shh!” he said, rather loudly, right in her ear.

Gerda winced. Alfur swung onto her ponytail. Gerda glanced to either side and seemed to have misplaced him. She sighed, glared at Erik, then stood still.

How was this little guy’s antics his fault? Erik frowned, glaring back at Gerda. Alfur appeared on the edge of her hat. Erik turned his glare onto him, following him with his eyes as he scampered across the brim, then used the yellow band to hoist himself up to the top, then on towards the feather stuck in Gerda's hat. Erik wondered if he should tell her that wasn't technically part of the Chief's uniform.

 “Don't climb on that,” he said, just as Alfur reached the feather. “You'll break it.”

“Huh. He can see me.”

Gerda sighed. “Are you both satisfied?”

“I was just trying to say good morning,” said Erik with a huff. Not a word about the cars. And now she was mad about this? He wondered why he was even bothering. But he just didn’t really like doing a half-ass job. As much as to stick it to Gerda, doing a shoddy job would just make him feel more depressed. He didn’t need that right now.

Alfur let out a little sigh. “My apologies. It's just... well, some of the things Hilda has told me...”

Erik sucked in his gut. Crap. This elf knew Hilda?

“But it seems we must work together. And I am prepared to be civil. Good morning... what's his job title?” He hissed at Gerda.

“Er... I didn’t give him one.”

“I thought we talked about this and agreed it was… safer to make him an employee?”

“He is. He just doesn’t have a job title.”

Erik cleared his throat. “Erik is fine.”

“Good morning... Erik. I,” and Alfur gave a small smile. “I do appreciate you putting in the effort to sign the paperwork. And... at least from what I have heard around the office... perhaps you have been putting in the effort otherwise as well in your new... role. So, thankyou.”

Erik faltered. “You're... you're welcome.” Hell, his expression was hard to read, he was so small, but it seemed genuine.

Alfur grinned wider. No mistaking it now. “I... I take it, as you are getting more involved, you'll be at the...”

“Okay, that's enough pleasantries,” said Gerda curtly. “We both have work to do.” And she turned so brusquely, the poor little elf lost his footing and grabbed onto the hat's feather for dear life.

Erik's shoulders sagged a little, then he bolstered himself and continued with his cleaning.

***

“You didn't tell him about Friday karaoke. In fact, you cut me off.”

Gerda put her pen down on her desk with a sigh and pressed her hands against her eyes. She had hoped the elf wouldn’t notice. “I'm sorry, Alfur.”

“It's fine. I'm just not sure I understand why.”

The door to her office was open, as she'd got into the habit of doing, unless she needed privacy. It was easier to see everyone in the open layout of the rest of the office, and it made her seem more approachable. Right now, Erik was out there, cleaning out bins. He had stopped and was talking to Deputy Officer Selby. Selby was her official deputy, although he shared the role with Alfur, who was technically the liaison officer for the elves. Gerda had wanted to give Alfur the deputy rank, so he’d have some authority, and everyone knew she expected him to be taken seriously. Something that would help when you were on the… shorter side. ‘Sharing’ the rank didn’t seem to bother Selby one bit. After initially being a little skittish around her, probably expecting her to treat him like Ahlberg had, he'd eventually become quite relaxed. In fact, he seemed relaxed talking to Ahlberg now.

“Inviting him seemed premature. I do not want to make my officers uncomfortable.”

Alfur had his own little desk, perched on the corner of hers. He followed her gaze out into the office. “Look,” said Alfur. “I don't like the man. At all. After how he treated Hilda, and this city, and, I assume, you as well...”

“I know. I know what he did.” Gerda’s hand tightened on the edge of her desk.

“But he does not seem to make any of your officers uncomfortable. Not now, at the least.”

“You think I'm being too harsh?”

“Not at all. I think it’s what he deserves… to be left out.”

Gerda winced. “When you put it like that... I am not leaving him out. That is not my intention.”

“What I'm trying to say, it isn't about Ahlberg. It wouldn't bother me if he were there, though I don't think he’s earned it. But... well... I think you know he is no longer making people around here uncomfortable. So, I think that, perhaps, that is not the real reason. And you are not being entirely honest with him. Or me.”

Ooff. Gerda smiled faintly. “I knew it was the right move, making you my deputy.”

“Yes, but you are changing the subject.”

Double oof. “I’m not even sure I know what the reason is, exactly. I too would not be bothered if he was there. At least, I shouldn’t be. And yet…”

Alfur moved from behind his little desk until he stood next to her hand. “Look, I get you feel betrayed. I understand you two were close.”

Gerda's cheeks grew warm. “Close... Alfur, please, do not listen to the rumours around here. We never DID anything.”

Alfur flushed. “That's... that's not what I meant. I meant like a close... working relationship.”

“Oh. Right.”

And maybe that was it. Maybe she felt betrayed. Outside the office, Erik was being so loud. Hell, he was asking about Selby's wife like he was actually interested.

“I... I'm really mad at him. And he deserves... something needs to happen to him because of what he did. That’s why I brought him in to clean up, but... well, I'm also a little worried about him.” A little? She'd damn near broken down his door a few weeks ago, just because he hadn't shown up, and she'd thought... No wonder he'd been so angry at her, bursting in like that. Talk about an overreaction. But it hadn’t felt like an overreaction at the time. She had imagined the worse. “Imagine if you'd done what he did. Imagine if you realised... what you almost allowed to happen. Imagine how you'd feel.”

Alfur thought for a moment. “Well, I can tell you one thing - I certainly wouldn't have accepted a medal for it.”

“Yes, but you're not Erik Ahlberg. And for all his bluster, if something was wrong, he would not be so direct about it… as you have been with me now. And, so…”

“You’re worried about him,” Alfur finished for her.

“He is still my friend.”

“Which is probably why you’re mad at him. Believe me, my friends? They can sometimes be quite frustrating. But just because he is not being direct, that does not mean you cannot be. It will be far easier to be direct with him, rather than just… giving him chores. Otherwise, you’ll just be worrying about him needlessly, and not even able to have a civil conversation in the hallway.”

“You’re right.” And perhaps inviting him to the work socials was an easy enough place to start.

***

Erik finished moping the halls. It was Friday, and everyone had left a little early. He pretended not to notice. It had been awkward avoiding the question: 'are you coming this evening?' Worse, everyone had changed the subject quickly when they realised he was uncomfortable, as if they knew exactly why he hadn’t been invited. At least they felt bad about it.

And at least they were starting to be friendly. Hell, even the Bell Keeper had made him a coffee. But Gerda? She had mellowed a little, but she was still standoffish, cold. But whenever she rushed off on him, distracted, or busy, he thought of the morning she’d come to his house, thought of her taking care of him. It made it really difficult to be angry with her.

It was just... awkward. Like it had been in the hall when he'd introduced himself to Alfur. They should have been able to laugh or just connect over how silly the little guy was being. Except when the elf had brought up the night's activities, Gerda had all too obviously changed the subject. She’d straight up bolted.

No, Erik was pretty sure Gerda did not want him at whatever the hell Safety Patrol was doing for fun, but he could no longer work up the emotion to be mad about it. He and Gerda may no longer be furious at each other, but nothing had replaced it, and that seemed worse.

Maybe, Erik thought, scrubbing the mop at a coffee stain on the floor all the harder, he'd just wear his Hawaiian shirt next Friday, and declare it tropical Friday. No one else could join in, as they had to wear uniform, but, well, then at least he'd have something he couldn't invite them to.

“Erik.” Gerda stood outside her office, handbag over her shoulder. “You don't need to finish mopping that all now.”

“Oh... right.” Erik stopped, and she stared at him. Bloody hell, this was even more awkward. “Got plans for tongi-” Erik flushed and bit down on his tongue. Why the had he said that?

Gerda took a breath. “Yes, karaoke.”

So that’s what they were doing. “Oh... yeah, I'd... I'd heard.” Erik drew a breath of his own, holding onto it, and puffing out his chest. “I wasn't sure I was invited to a Safety Patrol function.”

“A… function?” Gerda raised an eyebrow, and then her lip twitched up ever so slightly. “Erik, no. I've told everyone, no uniforms. I'm going home to change myself. It's karaoke. I mean, if I am going to make a fool of myself, I can hardly do it in the chief's uniform. That would be inappropriate.”

“Wait, you're going to sing?”

“You don't think I arranged a work thing for everyone to let off steam that I wouldn't enjoy, did you?”

“Well, yes, but...” Gerda enjoyed singing? Why had he not known this? The answer came quickly. When he'd been so focused on the trolls, had he even cared? “I mean, CAN you sing.”

Gerda blinked at him. “Can I sing?”

“Er, I mean...”

She stepped up closer to him. Erik snapped up his mop and tugged it in tight against his shoulder, almost hiding behind it.

“I think,” said Gerda. “The question is: can YOU sing?”

“What? Of course I can sing! I'll have you know my mother spent quite a bit of money on lessons when I was training.. for the...” Oh hell, why was he telling her this? Erik Ahlberg, hero of Trolberg, did not want anyone to know that... “when I... wanted to be an actor…” he mumbled into the head of the mop.

“You wanted to be an actor?”

“Just in the theatre!” he said quickly, flushing.

“Well, singing shouldn't be a problem for you, then.”

“So I… I am invited?” Erik winced. That had sounded far too desperate.

Gerda rubbed a hand on her arm, lowering her gaze. “Of course. And I’m... sorry. I should have invited you, clearly, earlier. But... Erik Ahlberg… in the theatre. I supposed that tracks.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

She smiled at him. “You were always so good at speeches. I think the only thing I beat you there in is brevity. But the question is… do you think you can make a bigger fool than me at karaoke? If you're game.”

“Of course I’m… well.. I'll come. If I... I mean, I have other offers, but I'll think about it...”

What the heck was going on? Was she just teasing him? Or was this some other half-baked plan of hers to embarrass or punish him?

“It would be nice to see you there,” Gerda said.

Erik still wasn’t sure if she meant it sincerely, but he desperately wanted it to be.

***

As Gerda walked out into the parking lot, Alfur climbed out of her handbag and clambered up to her shoulder.

“There,” said Gerda. “I was nice to him. I invited him. I did not... well, I think you were right. It wasn't fair to leave him out, and being direct with him... well, it feels better.”

Alfur caught her eye and raised an eyebrow. “I said I thought you should have been more direct. I didn't think you were going to flirt with him.”

Gerda flushed. “That was NOT flirting!”

***

Erik paced his living room. “I ... I can't go. I have plans!” He'd intended to watch a movie, and be in a huff about how he had not been invited. And now? Gerda had ruined that. But could he go? Would the rest of Safety Patrol even want to see him there? Did Gerda, really, or was she just being polite?

But no, she wasn't just being polite. “I mean, she didn't just invite me. She… she challenged me! I mean, to think she thinks I can't sing? I dread to think what she sounds like! Screeching orders is hardly the same as singing.”

She’d issued him a challenge. Did she think she had him so scared of he wouldn't take her up on it? If he didn't show...

“If I don't go, she wins. Damn it!” Erik stormed into his bedroom and pulled out his Hawaiian shirt. So, Friday night at the pub it was. He'd show her. She may intend to stir him up, but he wouldn't take it lying down. Erik put on the clean shirt, shrugged on his jacket, and then headed out.

[giraffeonstrike]

Last year in May, we bought a house in the country from my wife's grandparents. It's not all the way out yonder but almost. I didn't transfer to a library branch closer to my house, just stayed at my same one which is now about 35 minutes away. Turn left off the street and it takes you a little twisty way and then dumps you right by the freeway...to work and Wal-Mart, the only places I ever really go now. I have never, not one time, turned right.

I should have done and here's why: there are donuts over there.

I'm up changing a diaper, at 4:30 AM, kind of wondering where the fuck my partner has gone (he's not in bed with my wife, not with the babies in their room, not in either bathroom) when I hear the kitchen door open and there he is, an angel amongst mere mortals...with two dozen donuts. Where from? "Turned right off our road, went a couple miles. Place opens at 4...you didn't know it was there, did you?"

Nope, sure didn't. What that says about how aware I am of my surroundings is not good...but fuck it, DONUTS.

[viastro]

*taps mic* *clears throat*

I’ve been following you for a while now, but this is the first time I’ve read “One Spring Rain” and my first time reading a fic that has 14k words; which I’m proud of ‘cause I have a short(er) attention span. 😅

Anyway-

YOU CAN’T SEE ME BUT I MIGHT HAVE CRIED INSIDE WHILE READING ONE SPRING RAIN; I LOVE HOW YOU WROTE THE CONFESSION IN THE RAIN SCENE. I LOVE HOW YOU WROTE THE FIC IN GENERAL. 🥹😭

And these lines!! Got me in the feels fr. 🩵

“You slowly turn away from the sight, and finally take a bite of the donut. As you chew the treat that Seokmin bought you, you're left wondering why it doesn't taste as sweet this time around.”

“And you can't help but feel that this distance between you goes farther than the sidewalk the two of you are walking on.”

"Yn looks at you with so much love in their gaze, but I noticed that when I went to karaoke with you guys, their eyes held more pain that time."

PS: The Seungkwan, Soonyoung, Yugyeom, Bambam and Jungkook scenes??? *chef’s kiss*

OMG....

i can't believe you even quoted your favorite lines i'm CRYIN.. you're too sweet </333 i honestly almost forgot about that dokyeom fic but when i looked back at it i :.))) i'm so proud of it actually and i'm so happy that you loved it so much !!! i'm so grateful that you took the time out of your day to write such a kind message </33333 thank you so much <3

[moonxmagix]

A Room Full of Silence

A/N: Hey !! This is not what I usually post so I apologize. I really wanted to write about my feelings of these past few weeks/months. It was such a in the moment story, and was able to get it done in maybe 30 minutes max. Enjoy !

There I sat on the edge of my bed, in the deafening silence of my dimly lit room. It wasn’t clean by any means, clothes scattered, makeup taking up space on my vanity, posters hanging on the wall, some beginning to peel away from aging tape. 

I sighed while taking a bite of the donut that was bought for me at the end of the night. Another date, failed. I spent so much time getting ready and dedicating myself to this one person, ignoring anyone who dared to talk to me. Thinking anything would come from it. 

If they saw your room, that disinterest would only worsen between us I thought to myself. I got up  still in my uncomfortable date clothes tidying up my room. I normally would change as soon as I got home due to my sensory issues but I felt too numb. My body is almost trying to savor the moments of the night. 

Clothes were put away, put in the laundry, makeup was organized neatly in draws, posters hung up with new tape, plants were watered. I felt accomplished in my work, I checked the time to see it hit 1AM. My date clothes were put in the wash while I put on my t-shirt that sported my comfort character and pajama bottoms. 

My comfort character could never hurt me, they’d be perfect for me. Right? I thought to myself. 

I turned the lights off, my fairylights casting a faint glow making it hard but not impossible to see in my room. I took my glasses off and  reached for my phone, no messages or new notifications. I sighed, not even a “Hope you got home safe!” text. 

I went and searched for the content of my favorite character. Giggles filled the room as my infatuation grew deeper. I decided to check my dating apps and swipe. Finding a few men I thought weren’t too bad. 

~

My alarms blared and I hesitantly arose from my coffin. I did nothing but rot there anyway. I went about my morning and decided to check my dating apps. One guy in particular caught my eye, long brown hair, dead sleepy eyes, skinny, almost dead, just my type I thought. We clicked instantly and our energies bounced off perfectly against one another. 

After spending a week talking we decided to meet up at my place for a movie night and some takeout. We matched even better in person, calling me beautiful, telling me how he liked my stretch marks and how they complimented me perfectly. Unable to keep his hands off me for a second, whining when I had to get up even a couple seconds. 

I knew this person was different, there was a special bond between us. He left that night and his smell lingered on my pillows, smiling from the joy of another person's touch. But that feeling soon changed, my lips tightened, my nose burned, and tears welled in my eyes. 

~

The second time we hung out, not even a date which is fine I guess. I’ll make an exception for him. Do I dare bring it up? Oh god no, you don’t wanna seem desperate do you? Let him make the moves. 

There he stood at my door, dressed in sweatpants and a band t-shirt. Similar to something I’d wear, I talked to him about my sensory issues and he understood surprisingly enough and said he related to me. It was such a sigh of relief not having to explain yourself and the way you acted. 

He left again that night, smiling and giggling, smelling, showering, and then crying. At least he told me he had a good night, right?

~

This is the third time he’s coming over! Maybe I’ll dress up a little more, maybe then he’ll ask me. Right? We cuddled, watched movies, talked about the stuff we love and dream about, we laughed until he spoke, “Just so you know, I’m not looking for anything serious,” my face drops. 

The energy shifted and he knew that. “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner. We can still do this though with just no strings attached,” he said, trying to sound remorseful. I just nodded, clenching my jaw to stop myself from crying. “Yeah,” is all I could say, choking back tears. 

The rest of the night was tense, not much touching went on. Conversation was dim and held no substance. What did I do wrong? My apartment was clean. My makeup was done up nicely, not too heavy but not too light. Did I say something? Is it because of how I look? 

“It’s getting late, I should go,” he said, his words uncomfortable and awkward. I led him to the door, not even taking him fully out like I would usually do. Not a “goodnight”, not a “I’ll see you again”, not a “I had fun”. Just an odd, uncomfortable smile and wave. 

~

I shut the door and locked it, the sounds of the horror movie we were watching filled the room. The screaming and pleading of the victims were comforting to me this particular night. Is it because they were suffering along with me? 

I sat at the edge of my bed and sighed. Looking at my disheveled room, I didn't think it could get this messy this quick. The dissociation kicked in, there I sat frozen in place for hours. Unable to do anything with myself.

I pushed myself back into bed, clothes remained scattered scarcely along the floor, posters remained un-taped, food scraps and garbage remained on my nightstand, plants remained unwatered. 

But the next one will be different, right?

[betweenthetimeandsound]

--based on the doughnut prompt from @writeblrcafe

"How are you feeling, Cary?" Rosario asked as she fiddled with a box of donuts; its lid was at an obtuse angle. Caroline snickered as she bit her lip, trying to keep herself from laughing at her friend's awkwardness. However, her heart beat from not having donuts left, as they were back at her last gig.

"Let me help you," Caroilne replied, only to gasp at the few which remained in front of her.

The apple fritters, the powdered sugar, the sprinkles...Caroline's head almost spun, if it weren't for her mind wandering elsewhere, she would have screamed. Her eyes widened, and she inadvertently dropped the box and grabbed the powdered sugar donut.

"Where did you get them?"

Rosario giggled as Caroline devoured the donut, while she cradled the rest around her arms.

"I bought them to take them to Chantal at the hospital; she's supposed to go home tomorrow. Can't you believe that she managed to survive that electric shock--it's rare you get struck by lightning, but rarer that you manage to survive it."

At that moment, Caroline froze when she picked up the apple fritter, her glance growing blank. The views didn't make her refocus, despite the morning light skirting the buildings with a peachy glow. The salty scent of the bay made her wince, fighting with the sugary apples with their presence. And she twitched her feet, hoping the wind would take her away to another body.

"Caroline, what's up?"

"Nothing," Caroline muttered before taking a bite of the fritter, and then another. eating a good donut is its own experience; despite how it lodged into her stomach for hours, it made her wiggle and think about how the day could improve, somehow.

Suddenly, a bird swirled from the sky, taking in the blue-and-white dotted sky before it landed on the bench between the two of them. Its beady eyes took note of Caroline, and then it stretched out its wings for her, as if she wanted to capture it.

"What was that..."

"Get out of the way, get out!" Picking up the near-empty box, Rosario stood up and kicked at the bird, but her foot always met the bench. Caroline laughed, but stopped when it flew closer to her, and then she lifted her hand, about to summon a flame.

"Are you going to kill it?"

Digging her fingers into her palm, Caroline imagined a spark taking over her skin. Smoke emerged from her fingers, and a flame tickled her hand. Biting her lip, she pulled her hand back before taking one last glance at the predator.

Instead, her arm trembled and the flame went out.

[randomcontentdude]

Recap #2

As promised I’m back, and we left this off in mid 2021, doing I little recap we had established I didn’t have many friends but I had kept a few. I had this friend who is an actress, we would hang out almost every week and go to Starbucks even tho I hate Starbucks but oh well, it always felt like she would only give me leftovers of her time. MY friends ended up adopting her when we went back to school, she moved abroad an told no one. She’s the type of girl that disappears as soon as she’s got a boyfriend. I had this friend who I used to have a crush on, it’s funny cause I’m actually a gay male but oh well. We became closer when my best friend at the time and hers started to hang out more with each other than with us, so we survived that by sticking together. We would buy half a dozen donuts and eat them in a park while watching James Charles videos, later on we started taking speakers to the park and listening to Taylor’s new releases or random albums together, it was awesome. I also remained friends with one of the girls from my previous friend group of nerdy weirdos, we both were able to raise from that and became cool.

Towards the end of the year I was able to travel and it was very cool, cause by this point my relationship with my mother had improved quite a bit, a relationship of complicity had grown between us, it was very funny cause I had to cancel a conference that I was attending to travel and we had such a great time together, we went shopping and to theme parks and to grocery shops and everything was so much fun actually. However, during this time hybrid classes were coming back, and by this point I had made friends with two girls that would later become my two closest friends and we’d establish a trio everyone wanted to be a part of. These girls would request me to go to the few in campus classes we would actually have and after seeing them in the school while I was travelling I felt inspired to sing up for hybrid too and so I did.

Said friend who had survived nerdy friend group with me was also going, and she had made friends with a new girl that was now hanging out with a few of the popular girls; previously she had made friends with the friend group of one the trio girls, this friend group was also considered popular. Let’s keep this in the back burner for a second.

There was also a new boy in school who I found and still find extremely cute, I had a massive crush on him. We would play volleyball in the breaks and i would try to befriend his friends so I could get close. I was friendly with almost everyone, so it wasn’t very hard for me to get close to anyone I set my mind to.

The new girl launched a pool party for the end of our junior year, the friend that survived nerdy friend group with me added me to the party, I even bought a bottle of vodka to be “cool” it was the first time I was ever invited to one of these parties and I had the need to fit in, this was my chance to be “in”. Also, the boy I had a crush on was also going and I either befriended this very shy guy in that moment or I was fucked for the whole summer. So I sat next to him in a corner trying to catch a glimpse of what could be his attention every now and then. And at the end I was able to mantain contact with him for almost the whole summer, we were trying to hang out but I traveled and then he did and it was impossible for us to get the plan out of the group chat. But we did chat the whole summer.

Also, turned out I was very fun at parties and I kept getting invited to basically all of them, I was in already.

Before closing 2021, I think it’s worth mentioning my triple nationality friend who I had a weekly project with, during lockdown. This caused us to get closer and closer, we would talk shit of actress friend for replacing us and mistreating the rest of her lifelong friends. Eventually, she would also turn to be a shitty friend that would talk shit about me and decided to one-sidedly put end to our project because of a disagreement on political and societal views. She kicked me out of her private account and kept shittalking when I never did anything bad to her, years later I had to take her home after throwing up in the house of my childhood friend, she still went and was shit with me.

Now that we’ve concluded 2021, by the start of 2022 the trio had already been formed, and popular trio girl adopted foreign trio girl and I onto her popular group, which was very cool because they were not your typical popular girls, they were actually cool and knowledgeable. Eventually I was very in, and since I was already friendly with most people, it was very easy to me to fit right into this all.

Ig this is where this update finishes, the trio remained my closest friends for as long as I stayed in my hometown. I don’t deem appropriate to add my after school friends in this post, maybe in another one.

Cya