#I might have to actually watch the later seasons for more content of them but

[itslavenduh]

Jessie gets her license.

[darkwitchoferie]

Train Ride

Summary: You start off as just Chan’s beloved girlfriend and end up in bed with all the members.

A/N: This is an expansion of a little oneshot I wrote on Tumblr. Link here. It is specifically an expansion on each of the scenarios in the oneshot, and maybe an additional chapter or two after that. Also, timing wise, this story does take place in the spring/summer. Seungmin’s chapter involves a baseball game and that’s a specific season. So, in case you wonder why anybody’s hair doesn’t reflect their current styles – that’s why. There are, at the moment, 8 planned chapters. That could change.

Also, for you - @skzficpriv for your comment on the original oneshot and therefore the encouragement to actually finish writing these out. Thank you darling!

This post contains sexual content, read at your own discretion.

General cw/tw for the whole fic, not just this chapter: talks of consensual somnophilia, free-use reader, unprotected p in v sex, vaginal sex, talk of and thoughts of sexual fantasies, anal sex between members, oral (m & f receiving), exhibition/voyeurism (thought not actually in public), polyamory, multi-partner sex, established relationship between Chan x fem Reader as well as between Han x Lee Know. 2nd person POV (you/your). I think that's all, might need to add more later.

wc: 2923

Master list

Chan tossed the wet cloth he’d used to clean you and himself into the hamper then lay back down beside you, tugging you over so you could curl comfortably into his side. He chuckled at your feeble protests at being moved, which stopped as soon as you felt the warmth of his bare skin against yours again. You burrowed in, pressing your face to his side.

On a yawn you muttered, “Wish we’d invite the boys to play with me,” before going limp as you faded into sleep.

Chan froze, looking down at your sleeping face. Surely you didn’t mean what he thought he heard? You couldn’t possibly mean that you wanted the rest of the group to join you two in your bed. Right? He thought about shaking you awake and asking, but knew that was pointless, you wouldn’t be any more coherent until after a full night’s sleep. He tried to calm his mind, reassured that he’d be able to ask about it tomorrow, and eventually fell asleep.

He woke up later than he intended the next morning. Quietly rushing around, so as not to wake you before you needed to be up, he didn’t even remember what you’d whispered until he was walking into the JYPE building and caught sight of Felix and Seungmin walking ahead of him. He stopped in his tracks in the lobby, your sleepy words playing on a loop in his head as he watched his two friends head for the elevators, unaware that he was behind them. He shook himself out of it when one of the company’s security guards tapped him on the shoulder. He thanked the man, saying something about not sleeping well, and made his way up to the recording studio he was expected in.

On his way up, he thought over his reaction, both just then in the lobby and the night before. If he’d been posed a hypothetical question like, how do you think you’d react if your girlfriend said she wanted your friend to fuck her – his immediate reaction would’ve been to say he’d hate the idea. He was possessive of you, everyone knew it. But that wasn’t the way he’d reacted to your words. Instead he was … interested might be too strong a word, but definitely intrigued. He resolved to compartmentalize it in his mind and focus on work until he could talk to you about it.

That lasted for maybe an hour. Until Minho groaned in frustration at getting the English wrong again and Chan’s mind immediately, and without conscious decision, jumped to wondering if he’d make similar noises while fucking you. That single thought started the spiral for him. After that his mind wander and he started to wonder more. What would Hyunjin’s face look like when he sank into your cunt? Did Changbin have as much of a thing for tits as Chan suspected he did? Would Felix's voice go deep or into his higher pitches?

And what about you? Would you make the same noises if Jeongin was the one fucking you as you did when it was him? Would you whine the same way for Seungmin? Who would be whinier – you or Jisung? He was absolutely sure Jisung was loud during sex and now, he was allowing himself to wonder exactly what sounds he and the others would make.

Now that he was thinking these thoughts, he was also recalling every interaction you’d had with the other members recently. How Jeongin’s eyes trailed after you when you walked around their apartment. Or how Jisung’s and Felix’s hugs lingered, something he’d always chalked up to both boys being tactile people to begin with. How Changbin’s hands slid just a little too close to your boobs when he hugged you from behind without actually touching them. Or how Hyunjin always insisted you were the best pose model for whatever he was working on and that he needed an otherwise empty room to focus. The way Minho would look at you sometimes and how similar it was to the way he looked at Jisung and they all knew the pair of them were sleeping together, despite not officially being a couple. How Seungmin didn’t even pretend to shy away from your touch if you happened to be sitting beside him during group gatherings. Or a million other things that he was suddenly looking at in a different light that made him wonder.

He had never really thought about defining his sexuality. You’d asked him about it once and he said he was attracted to people, not their gender. But he had admitted to you that, at the time you got together, he had a bit more experience with guys than with girls, which he’d chalked up to being a trainee throughout puberty. But he’d never allowed himself to delve too deeply into any attraction he might feel for his members, fearing it would make him awkward around them. Now though? Now it seemed that your half-asleep comment had lifted a lid off a box in his mind and all sorts of thoughts were tumbling out.

When they stopped for lunch, he made the seven of them leave ahead of him, playing it off as wanting some privacy to call you. The truth was, with his thoughts spiraling into the territory they were, he was hard. Very hard, and there was no way he could stand up from the desk and it not be obvious. He took several deep breaths, screwing his eyes shut, clenching his hands into fists, and tried to will away his boner. Eventually, he called Hannah and that helped instantly, putting him back on an even keel.

Then came dance practice in the afternoon and that put his mind right back in the gutter. Any body roll or anything that looked even vaguely like a hip thrust had him internally struggling with new images. Once, he excused himself to the bathroom and had to take care of his problem before it became too evident. Or at least, he hoped it hadn’t been noticeable.

The day ended earlier than usual, owing to Hyunjin and Felix both having separate photoshoots. While normally, Chan would take advantage of the early end and head back into the recording studio, maybe with Jisung and Changbin, maybe without them, this time he headed straight for your apartment.

“Channie!” You grinned up at him from behind your computer set up in the living room. One of the best perks, to your mind, about working from home was the ability to move your set up out into the living room or kitchen, or really anywhere that wasn’t your home office for a scenery change. “Everything okay?” You could tell immediately that something had your boyfriend edgy. Hopefully everything had gone well at the company.

“Yeah, everything’s okay. Almost done for the day?” He nodded at your computer.

“Just about. I was gonna make a pizza, do you want to pop it into the oven while I finish up?”

“Yeah, baby girl. That sounds perfect.” He pressed a kiss to the top of your head as he walked by. He paced the length of your kitchen and back again as he waited, first for the oven to heat, then the pizza to cook. He could hear you working on your computer and didn’t want to interrupt, but he really needed to deal with everything that had been going on in his head all day. Now, surrounded by the familiarity of your apartment, nothing changed. He was still thinking about his friends and wondering how you’d look pinned under Changbin, riding Seungmin, or bent over for Minho.

By the time the pizza was done and you were shutting down your work laptop, he still hadn’t decided if he should just ask you about it, or if he needed to fuck you first, to at least get himself somewhat under control so you could have this conversation. He heard you packing away your set up and taking it into your home office, so he sliced up the pizza and brought two plates out into the living room.

“Thank you, baby,” you grinned at him, sitting beside him and snuggling into his side while you both ate.

Normally, your proximity like this would calm Chan, no matter what kind of day he’d had. You’d snuggle into his side, and he’d relax back into the couch cushions. Not this day. The fingers on his free hand tapped incessantly against your shoulder or the back of the couch. He kept shifting around and could not say at all what show you’d put on the tv.

You waited, somewhat patiently, sure he’d tell you what was going on after a while. Meanwhile, Chan was wondering how the hell to even bring it up. Eventually, you got tired of waiting. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

You sat up to look directly at him. “You’re edgy, babe. Like you get when something’s bugging you. What is it?”

“It’s not…. It’s about what you said last night, before you fell asleep.” At your puzzled look, he said, “You don’t remember?”

“Channie baby, I’m lucky I remembered my own name by the time you were done with me last night.” Smug, Chan grinned and puffed up his chest. “You’re going to have to remind me what I said.” You grinned, playfully rolling your eyes at his smug grin.

“You said, um…. You said you wished we’d invited the guys over so they could play with you too.” Your mind raced. The pair of you had talked about fantasies before, but you’d never voiced that thought out loud, afraid of how Chan would react. Would he think differently of you? If you denied it, would he even believe you? Was he disgusted by you? Or would he think you had or would be willing to cheat on him? Maybe he’d just get really possessive and fuck you into the couch and afterwards you could both pretend you’d never said anything.

Your thoughts were racing so fast that you didn’t realize the time for denial had passed. At least until Chan says, “Baby girl? Did you mean it?”

“I, uh… no?” You tried denying it, but no one would believe a denial that came out sounding that unsure.

“I think you did. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it all day, baby. Do you know how hard it’s been to get any work done today with these thoughts?” With your terrible denial, Chan grew bolder. You looked away from his face, biting the edge of your thumbnail out of nervousness. When you looked down, you noticed the bulge in his pants. Your eyes widened and shot back up to his face. “Do you have any clue how hard it’s been, all day?” He asked, pressing a palm against his clothed dick. “Hearing Minho groaning into the mic? Seeing Hyunjin roll his hips and wondering….” He trailed off, eyes darkening as he realized that your mind had immediately followed his train of thought and now you were thinking all the same things he’d been thinking.

“You’d… I mean, you’re not upset? That I’ve thought about them, like that?” You asked in a small voice, still somewhat unsure of exactly where this conversation was headed.

Your bed, it turned out, was where the conversation was headed. Chan had gripped your hips, pulling you onto his lap and hungrily kissing you without another word. He’d damn near torn your shirt trying to get it off as quickly as possible before groaning when he realized you hadn’t bothered with a bra that morning. You arched into him as he closed his lips around one nipple, teasing the other with his fingers.

When you started to roll your hips against the bulge in his pants, he’d stood up with you in his arms and swiftly strode to your bedroom, tossing you onto the bed and following right behind you. He didn’t give you time to get your bearings or get situated before he was tugging off your lounge pants and panties. His lips were back to roaming on your neck and chest as his hands smoothed up your thighs, pushing them apart so he could slot himself comfortably between them.

You’d gone from nervous to turned on so quickly that you were struggling to keep up with him, eventually just giving in and letting yourself feel his fingers, lips, and tongue, rather than try to keep track of exactly where your boyfriend’s roaming hands were. Until you felt the pad of his thumb pressing against your clit. You gasped, arching and trying to press yourself harder against that single digit.

“Aw, is baby girl needy?” he teased.

“Channie, please.”

He grinned, leaning down to nip at your collar bone. “You have to do something for me though.”

“Anything,” you agreed, desperate to have him. He pulled completely away from you and you whined. Then you looked over and saw he was standing so he could strip himself. As soon as his boxers were kicked off, you reached for him, pulling him back to you by his wrist.

He claimed your lips in a hungry kiss, right hand sliding down your tummy, over your hip, and covering your pussy. With less gentleness than usual, he dipped first one, then two fingers into you. He didn’t spend much time prepping you, just thrusting his fingers into you a few times before deciding he couldn’t wait anymore. But as wet and turned on as you were, you had no problems stretching to accept him.

He bottomed out inside you, your legs wrapped around his hips, him propped up on his hands and leaning over you. Before he started moving, he said, “You have to tell me what you’ve thought of.” At your blank look, he elaborated. “You’ve thought about my friends. Tell me what you’ve thought about. You said you wanted them to play with you, but I’m sure you have details.”

You groaned, partly embarrassed to be having this conversation but mostly because that was when he started to move. He started off with long, slow thrusts, letting you feel every inch of him dragging through your walls. You knew he’d been turned on by his own thoughts, but part of you was still nervous how he’d react to your fantasies.

“Promise you won’t be mad?”

“How could I possibly be mad at you?” he countered.

It took you a while, between your moans and gasps, but you finally told him your favorite fantasies. “I want them to use me,” you started off. “Whenever they want. Like when I’m wearing the necklace you bought me so you can fuck me whenever, wherever. I wanna do that for them too.” You gasped, arching against a particularly hard thrust. “Let them fuck me when I’m asleep after a long day like you do. Or – oh God – call me to the dance studio or recording studio ‘cause something’s not going right so you’re all stressed.” You dug your nails into Chan’s back as he leaned down and bit your neck, sucking a deep purple mark into the skin there. “Wanna cock warm Lixie while he’s gaming or Minnie while he’s reading. Be passed around to everybody during movie night. Wanna ride Bin’s thigh after a workout, when he’s still all sweaty. Let Hyune paint me naked or paint on me, then fuck him.”

As Chan’s thrusts got rougher, it got harder to speak, but you kept going at his insistence. “Wanna – ah – wanna sit on Ji’s face. Suck on Innie’s fingers while he fucks me. Let Minho bend me over the balcony fence so I have to be real quiet.”

Chan had your legs bent up so your knees were at your chest when you finally clenched around him, orgasm rushing through you. Every scenario you gave him, brought him closer to his own orgasm and he followed right behind you, the warmth of his cum flooding into you. He brought your legs down, gently massaging your thighs as you both worked to catch your breath.

With a burst of courage, probably encouraged by how he’d reacted to everything else so far, you decided to tell him one final fantasy. But still, you wrapped your legs around his hips to hold him to you, just in case. “I’d be happy with all that, and more. But I’d like to date them too, if they wanted.” You got quieter as you spoke, suddenly afraid that he might think you thought he wasn’t enough for you.

Chan shifted against you, not moving away, just shifting so he could look up at your face. “I wondered, earlier today, and probably before if I’m being really honest, about kissing them. Think I’d like kissing Lix or maybe Hyune the most. Well, no, maybe most is wrong.” He sighed, shifting again and resting his head between your boobs before he continued. “Point is, I know you love me. I love you too.” He kissed the side of your boob. “But I am totally okay with one or both of us dating one or a couple or all of them.”

You relaxed your legs, letting them drop to either side of his hips. Then started gently carding your fingers through his sweaty hair.

A short while later, as you were cleaning up in the shower, Chan asked, “So, would you want to try to see how many of your fantasies we can bring to life?”

Next

[reidmarieprentiss]

Strawberry Lemonade

Summary: Spencer and you have a summer fling before you start your masters in theater, but you both fall in love. A chance encounter years later will give you the chance to reconnect.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Broadway fem!reader

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: summer love, suggestive content (16+), happy ending

Word count: 6.7k

a/n: this is cuteee i imagine season 1 spencer at the beginning and season 7 spencer at the end but its up to you hehe

main masterlist

Six years ago…

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you heard the voice before you felt the cold liquid soaking through your shirt, chilling your skin. The sensation was sudden and startling, making you gasp and jump back instinctively.

“Ah!” you exclaimed, eyes wide as you looked down at the spreading stain on your clothes. It was a shock, but more amusing than upsetting.

“I—I didn’t see you, I am so, so sorry. Um, let me get you a napkin,” the man rushed out, his voice laced with genuine panic as he scrambled to make amends.

You finally looked up at him, and despite the situation, a smile tugged at your lips. “Whoa, wait, it’s okay!” you reassured him, waving your hands to calm him down. “What did you spill on me?” you asked, your tone light and humorous as you took in his flushed, slightly disheveled appearance.

“Strawberry lemonade…” he admitted, wincing as if expecting you to be upset.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, I might be sticky, but at least I’ll smell good!” The sound of your laughter seemed to ease his anxiety, and for a moment, he looked relieved, albeit still a bit embarrassed. 

“I’m really sorry again,” he said, his tone sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I was so focused I just wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking.”

“Seriously, it’s okay!” you assured him, still smiling. “I can just head home and change. I didn’t have any big plans today anyway.”

“Still, it’s inconvenient,” he insisted, clearly feeling guilty.

“Oh well, you’re just keeping my day interesting. Do you want to do that all summer long?” you joked, the lighthearted comment slipping out before you could stop yourself.

“Huh?” He blinked, momentarily confused by your question.

You chuckled, shaking your head at your own boldness. “I’m watching my parents’ house for the summer. Not sure what I’m going to do… I probably shouldn’t have told you that, random male stranger.”

His expression shifted to one of concern. “Uh, no, you should not tell people that. But, I am in the FBI, actually. I catch the people you shouldn’t tell that you’re watching your parents’ house.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, curiosity and skepticism bubbling up inside you. “Wow! That’s cool, and I totally don’t believe you at all,” you laughed again, the sound warm and infectious. You noticed how his eyes seemed to light up at the sound of your laughter.

He fumbled for a moment, clearly eager to prove himself. After a brief struggle, he managed to retrieve his badge from his pocket. “Here,” he said, holding it out for you to see, the credentials gleaming under the light.

You leaned in slightly to inspect it, your eyes narrowing playfully. “Alright, I believe you, Spencer Reid,” you said, pronouncing his name with a teasing lilt.

The blush that spread across his cheeks was instant and endearing. “Thanks, um…” he trailed off, realizing he didn’t know your name.

“Y/N L/N,” you said, extending your hand toward him, your smile never wavering.

He glanced at your hand, then back up at you, a hint of nervousness still lingering in his eyes. “It’s actually safer for us to kiss with all of the germs that are passed through hands touching,” he said, the words tumbling out before he could stop them.

You raised an eyebrow, amused by his sudden awkwardness. “Well, if you buy me a drink instead of spilling one on me, I’ll give you that kiss,” you teased, your voice carrying a playful challenge.

Spencer’s eyes widened, his blush deepening as he realized you were serious. For a moment, he was speechless, but then a shy smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Deal,” he said softly, his heart racing as he met your gaze.

—

You had gotten Spencer Reid’s number after your first encounter, agreeing to find a time to get that drink he owed you. The anticipation of seeing him again had you smiling as you got ready for your casual meetup. You wanted to see if he was just as endearing without the strawberry lemonade incident.

As you approached the café, you spotted Spencer sitting at a small table outside. His posture was slightly tense, his hands wrapped around a coffee cup as he scanned the surroundings nervously. When he saw you approaching, though, his face lit up with a shy but genuine smile, one that instantly warmed your heart.

“Spencer!” you called out, waving as you neared the table.

“Hi, Y/N,” he responded, his voice soft but filled with warmth.

When you reached the table, you noticed two drinks already waiting. You raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “Did you order for me?” you asked, a hint of amusement in your tone.

Spencer nodded, looking bashful as he explained, “I did. You mentioned that you liked chai lattes, so I got you one.”

Your heart fluttered at his thoughtfulness, and you couldn’t help but smile even wider. “You are the sweetest! Thank you!” You took a seat across from him, picking up the warm cup and taking a sip. The spiced, creamy flavor was perfect, and you let out an appreciative hum. “It’s delicious, and look at that! It made it into my mouth and not on my clothes,” you teased, your eyes twinkling with humor.

Spencer chuckled, the tension easing from his shoulders. “Yeah, I promise not to ruin your clothes this time,” he said, the corners of his mouth quirking up in a small smile.

You leaned in slightly, a mischievous glint in your eye. “What about next time?”

Spencer choked on his drink, caught off guard by your playful question. You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction, finding his awkwardness endearing. Once he recovered, he grinned sheepishly, his cheeks tinged with pink. “I’ll work on my coordination before then,” he replied, his voice laced with embarrassment and amusement.

You giggled, shaking your head. “I’m just messing with you, Spencer. But I’m glad you’re thinking ahead.”

He relaxed even more, clearly enjoying your company as much as you were enjoying his. The conversation flowed easily between you two, filled with light banter, shared stories, and plenty of laughter. It was clear that this was just the beginning of something special—something that neither of you could have predicted from a simple spilled drink.

—

As the summer days drifted by, Spencer had become a regular fixture in your life. He was your constant companion, always ready for an adventure whenever his demanding job allowed. Whether it was movie nights on the couch, intense games of chess in the park, or wandering through the quiet halls of a museum, every moment with him was something you cherished. But today, you were ready to take things to the next level, to let him know just how much you enjoyed his company in a way that left little room for misinterpretation.

Spencer was coming over again, this time for a swim in the lake behind your parents’ house. He’d been over many times before, but today was different. Today, you were determined to make your intentions clear.

The sound of his car pulling up the driveway sent a thrill of anticipation through you. You smoothed down your cover-up and opened the door just as he was about to knock. “Hey, babe,” you greeted him with a playful grin, the casual endearment slipping from your lips effortlessly.

Spencer’s cheeks immediately flushed a light shade of pink, clearly caught off guard. He wasn’t used to pet names, especially not from someone like you—someone who had become increasingly important to him over these past few months. “Hi, Y/N,” he managed to reply, his voice soft and a little unsure.

“Are you ready to swim?” you asked, your eyes twinkling with mischief as you leaned against the doorframe.

“Mhm,” he nodded, lifting the small bag he brought with him. “I brought my swimsuit.”

“Awe, damn,” you pouted dramatically, teasing him with a sparkle in your eye. “I thought we were going skinny dipping.”

Spencer’s eyes widened, and he stammered, “Y/N!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction, biting your lip to suppress a grin. “I’m joking! Maybe…” you added with a wink before turning to lead him inside. You could feel his eyes on you, nervousness and curiosity radiating from him.

Once he changed, you led Spencer out to the dock that stretched over the lake. The sun was warm, the water inviting, and the setting was perfect. Spencer was busy setting up the beach chairs, focused on getting everything just right, when you called out to him.

“Hey, Spencer, can you help me out?” Your voice was light, almost innocent.

He turned to see what you needed, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head when he caught sight of you. There you stood, your cover-up discarded to reveal a tiny swimsuit that left very little to the imagination. The way the fabric clung to your curves, barely covering what it needed to, had Spencer’s mind spinning. He was completely unprepared for this.

“Su–sure,” he stammered, struggling to keep his gaze respectful even as his face turned a deep shade of crimson.

You smiled at his reaction, a mixture of amusement and satisfaction. You had his attention now, that much was clear. “Thanks,” you said, moving closer to him, letting your arm brush against his as you reached for the sunscreen. “Would you mind helping me with my back?”

Spencer swallowed hard, his brain short-circuiting as he nodded. “Of course,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

As he carefully applied the sunscreen, his fingers trembling slightly as they skimmed over your skin, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. 

“Mmm, your hands are so warm, Spencer. This feels nice,” you murmured, letting your eyes flutter closed as his hands worked gently across your back. You could feel the heat radiating from his palms, soothing against your skin. 

Spencer made a small, high-pitched sound that was almost a squeak, clearly caught off guard by your comment. “I’m—uh, I’m glad,” he stammered, his voice cracking slightly.

As his hands reached your shoulders, you rolled them, leaning back into his touch, allowing yourself to let out a soft, almost involuntary, sound of pleasure. It was subtle, but you knew it would have an effect on him. “Can you get my lower back too, please?” you asked, your voice laced with just enough sweetness to make him melt.

“Ok—okay,” Spencer managed to say, his breath hitching as he moved his hands lower. When his fingers finally reached your lower back, you couldn’t resist arching it just a bit, causing your hips to shift subtly, drawing his attention further down.

“Thanks, Spencer,” you said, turning your head slightly to glance back at him with a mischievous smile. “You’re good with your hands.”

Spencer’s face was bright red by now, and he cleared his throat, quickly pulling his hands away as if they’d been burned. “Um, you’re all done! Let’s, uh, let’s get in the water!” he blurted out, almost too fast for the words to be coherent.

You couldn’t help but laugh, enjoying the effect you had on him. “Don’t you need sunscreen?” you asked, raising an eyebrow as you watched him turn his back to you, clearly flustered.

“Nope!” he shouted, his voice a bit higher than usual, before making a beeline for the edge of the dock. Without a second thought, he dove into the lake, the cold water a welcome relief from the heat you’d stirred up inside him.

You watched, amused, as Spencer resurfaced, his hair plastered to his forehead as he pushed it back with one hand. He looked at you with wide eyes, a mixture of embarrassment and something else you couldn’t quite place. You knew he was trying to compose himself, but you could tell you’d rattled him in the best way possible.

“Water’s great!” he called out, trying to sound casual, though his voice still carried a note of nervousness. “You should join me.”

You smirked, taking your time as you walked to the edge of the dock. “Oh, I plan to,” you said, your tone playful as you prepared to jump in after him, the summer day suddenly feeling a whole lot warmer.

You and Spencer splashed around in the cool water, laughing and enjoying the kind of carefree fun that usually only comes with childhood. The day was perfect, the sun shining down, the water glistening, and you couldn’t help but feel a warmth growing in your chest every time you looked at him. There was something so endearing about Spencer, especially now with his big, round eyes wide with wonder, his wet hair sticking to his forehead in messy strands. He was so pretty.

“Y/N?” Spencer called out suddenly, a hint of concern in his voice as he glanced around, squinting since he had left his glasses on the dock. You had slipped beneath the surface, and he couldn’t see where you had gone.

“Ahh!” he yelped when he felt hands on his waist, the surprise making him jump. But before he could fully process what was happening, you popped up right in front of him, grinning as you wiped the water and hair from your face.

“Hi,” you whispered softly, the playfulness in your eyes unmistakable.

“You scared me,” he admitted, still catching his breath from the sudden startle.

“Sorry, Spence,” you replied, your voice gentle, though there was a lingering note of amusement.

“It’s okay,” he said, his voice softer now as he looked at you, his nerves easing but still very much present.

Without a word, you wrapped your arms around his neck, drawing closer. He stiffened slightly, but didn’t pull away. Feeling bold, you decided to make your next move, wrapping your legs around his torso as well, anchoring yourself to him in the water. His hands instinctively moved to support you, his fingers brushing your waist as he tried to steady himself.

“You’re like a koala,” Spencer observed, his voice a bit breathless, the situation clearly getting to him.

“Mmm, do koalas like wet nerds?” you teased, your lips just inches from his, your breath warm against his damp skin.

“What—” he began, but before he could finish, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his, your heart racing as you made your intentions clear.

For a moment, Spencer froze, clearly caught off guard by the suddenness of your kiss. Panic started to bubble up inside you, and you quickly pulled back, searching his face for any sign that you’d made a mistake. “I’m sorry, was that not okay?” you asked, your voice tinged with worry as you began to second-guess yourself.

But before you could spiral too far, Spencer’s hand cupped your face, his touch gentle but firm. He didn’t say a word, just pulled you back toward him, his other hand sliding down to grip your hips, pulling you flush against him as he kissed you back. This time, there was no hesitation, no uncertainty—just the warmth of his lips on yours, the cool water lapping around you, and the undeniable chemistry that had been building between you all summer.

The kiss deepened, his lips moving against yours with a passion that surprised you, his usual shyness nowhere to be found. You melted into him, feeling the last of your doubts wash away as you wrapped yourself even tighter around him, the world fading until it was just you and Spencer, lost in the moment, lost in each other.

—

The day at the lake marked the beginning of your official relationship with Spencer, and from then on, your summer together blossomed into the kind of romance you’d always dreamed of. There were countless moments that felt like they were straight out of a movie—bouquets of flowers delivered unexpectedly, rosy cheeks from laughter, bike rides on cobblestone streets, and endless time spent in each other’s company. Spencer was always so thoughtful, his gestures sweet and genuine, and you couldn’t help but fall deeper for him with every passing day.

But as the summer days dwindled, so did the time you had left before returning to school. One afternoon, Spencer walked into the living room of your parents’ house, his face bright with excitement. “Hey, love,” he said, his voice warm and affectionate as he approached you.

“Hmm?” you responded, glancing up from your computer where you were half-listening while reviewing your reading list for the fall term at Hunter College. 

“There’s this annual FBI gala in September,” Spencer began, leaning down to place a tender kiss on the top of your head. “I was wondering if you’d like to be my date.”

You nodded absentmindedly, still focused on your work. “Uh, sure, babe. Sounds fun!”

Spencer smiled, pleased by your agreement. “Amazing, it’s the last Saturday of September.”

It wasn’t until he mentioned the date that realization hit you, and your heart sank. “Oh no… I’ll be back at school by then.”

“What?” Spencer’s smile faltered, confusion and disappointment flickering across his face as he looked at you.

“Well, I’m going back to school at the beginning of September… I’m only here for the summer, I told you that, baby.”

“I know you did,” Spencer sighed, the disappointment settling in as he plopped down on the couch. “I guess I didn’t think about how soon you were going back.”

Seeing him so crestfallen made your heart ache. You quickly set your computer aside and moved to climb into his lap, wrapping your arms around him. Spencer’s hands instinctively found your waist, holding you close as you nestled against him. “I’m sorry, Spence,” you said softly, brushing your fingers through his hair. “Maybe I can still come? If I’m not too busy with work and school?”

“Yeah,” he replied, though the frown on his face made it clear he wasn’t convinced. He avoided your gaze, his eyes focused on some distant point.

“Hey,” you whispered, tilting his chin up so he had no choice but to look at you. “We still have all of August, you still have me all to yourself for a whole month.”

“That’s true,” he murmured, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

You leaned in closer, your lips brushing his as you spoke. “Can you think of anything you want to do with me while I’m all yours?” you asked, your voice playful, your eyes sparkling with mischief as you smirked at him.

Spencer’s smile grew a little wider, and he let out a soft chuckle. “I can think of a few things,” he said, his tone teasing but his gaze affectionate. “But we might need more than a month.”

“Well then, you better start planning,” you whispered against his lips, before closing the small distance between you in a tender kiss, hoping to chase away the cloud of impending separation with the warmth of your affection.

—

“I can’t believe you leave next week,” Spencer mumbled into your stomach, his voice muffled as he pressed his face into your skin, seeking comfort in the warmth of your body.

Spencer’s words hung in the air, the weight of them settling deep in your chest. You’d known this moment would come, the one where the reality of your impending departure would hit both of you with full force. But hearing him say it, feeling the emotion behind his words, made it all the more real. 

You sighed softly, your fingers threading through his hair as you stared up at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Spence… please stop mentioning it. I don’t want to cry again. Can’t we just enjoy this week?”

He lifted his head slightly, resting his chin on your soft tummy as he looked up at you, his eyes full of regret for bringing it up. “Yes, I’m sorry, love,” he murmured, his voice sincere.

For a moment, you just looked at him, taking in every detail of his face—the way his hair fell into his eyes, the softness of his expression, the beauty that radiated from him so clearly. “You’re so beautiful, Spencer Reid,” you mused, your heart squeezing in your chest at how deeply you felt for him.

Spencer’s eyes softened even more, and then, almost as if he couldn’t hold it back any longer, he said, “I love you.” It was the first time he’d said it, the words slipping out with such raw honesty that they made your breath hitch.

“Fuck, Spencer,” you laughed, even as tears welled up in your eyes, “I said not to make me cry.”

His expression shifted from worry to understanding in an instant, and he quickly sat up, pulling you into his arms, holding you close in the bed. “Why are you crying?” he asked, concern lacing his voice as he brushed a tear from your cheek with his thumb.

“Because I love you too,” you whispered, your smile tinged with sadness as you looked up at him, the reality of your situation crashing down on you.

The look in Spencer’s eyes changed then, deepening into something more intense, more profound. He kissed you, but this time it was different—there was more emotion, more passion than either of you had ever felt before. It wasn’t just a kiss; it was a promise, a declaration, a desperate attempt to hold onto this moment, this connection, for as long as possible.

Slowly, he guided you back down onto the pillows, his body moving between your legs, his hands caressing your sides with a tenderness that made your heart ache. His lips never left yours, the kiss deepening as he settled over you, his breath warm against your skin.

“Spencer?” you whispered hesitantly, your voice trembling slightly. You knew he wasn’t very experienced, and until now, the two of you hadn’t gone further than heavy makeouts. He’d only seen you topless once, and even then, he’d been adorably flustered.

“I’m sure, darling,” he breathed, his voice steady but filled with a nervous excitement that matched your own.

“Oh—okay,” you replied softly, your heart racing as you let yourself sink into the moment, trusting him, trusting this love.

That morning, as the sun filtered through the curtains, casting a warm, golden glow over the room, you lay tangled in the sheets with Spencer. Both of you basking in the intimacy you’d shared, it had been more than just a physical connection; it was a merging of hearts, a deepening of the bond that had grown between you over the summer.

In those moments, with the world outside fading away, you realized that Spencer had stolen your heart completely, just as you had become his first in so many ways. The warmth of the sun on your skin, the softness of the sheets, and the gentle rise and fall of his breath beside you—it all felt like a dream, a perfect culmination of the love that had blossomed between you.

As you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, you knew that no matter what the future held, this moment would always be yours.

—

“Okay, so call me as soon as you make it to your apartment. And… text and email as much as you can,” Spencer said, his voice trembling as he fought to keep his composure.

The moment was heavy with emotion as you stood by your car, Spencer’s eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The weight of the impending separation hung between you, thick and tangible, making every word feel like it was being carved into your hearts.

“I will, Spence,” you nodded, your own voice barely steady as you bit your lip, trying desperately to hold back the sob that threatened to break free.

“I love you, please know that,” he whispered, the raw emotion in his words making your heart ache.

“I know, baby, I know,” you murmured, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your lips to his in a kiss that conveyed everything you couldn’t put into words. “I love you too, so much.”

As you pulled back slightly, Spencer’s voice cracked with a plea, “Please don’t forget me.”

You stared into his eyes, the depth of your feelings for him clear and unwavering. “Spencer Reid,” you said softly but firmly, “I will never forget you.”

With that, you kissed him one last time, the bittersweet farewell lingering in the air as you both held onto each other for as long as you could.

—

Despite all the promises and the heartfelt goodbyes, life had other plans. The demands of your master’s program and the grueling work on Broadway consumed your time and energy. Spencer, too, became increasingly busy with his responsibilities at the BAU and his guest lectures, often being called away for cases more frequently than before. The distance, both physical and emotional, began to take its toll.

Calls that used to bring comfort and connection started going to voicemail. Texts that once sparked joy and laughter were left unanswered. Emails that used to be filled with affection and updates were opened but never replied to. The busy lives you both led pulled you further apart, until one day, you realized that you hadn’t spoken to him in weeks, then months.

The connection that had once been so strong faded away, not with a dramatic end but with a quiet, painful drift. Despite the love you had for each other, you and Spencer never saw each other again. The summer you shared remained a beautiful, bittersweet memory, a chapter that closed far too soon.

—

Present

The present day found Rossi deep in the midst of orchestrating the final details for JJ and Will’s last-minute wedding. After wrapping up their latest case, he hadn’t expected to be planning a wedding, but he was more than happy to take on the challenge. With everything falling into place—JJ’s mom attending, the guests taken care of, food arranged, his beautiful backyard as the location, and even the rings sorted—the only thing left was the music. Rossi could have easily hired a band, a DJ, or even a string quartet, but he had someone specific in mind.

His thoughts drifted to a young woman he had met years ago, back when she was just starting out on Broadway as a background singer. Rossi had discovered her in a small, back-alley theater during an off-Broadway performance of Rent where she played Mimi. Her performance had been nothing short of phenomenal, and Rossi had made sure to keep in touch with her over the years. She was someone who had made an impression on him, and he liked to check in on those who left a mark.

Pulling out his phone, Rossi quickly typed out a message, hoping she was available. 

Am I the luckiest man alive or can you not be in Virginia tomorrow evening for a wedding?

It didn’t take long for a response to come through. 

A wedding? This is a strange proposal, but I can be there. Send me details!

Rossi smiled, relieved and excited. With her on board, he knew the night would be something truly special.

—

The air was filled with warmth and joy as JJ and Will’s wedding ceremony unfolded, a picture-perfect blend of love and simplicity. A band played soft, unobtrusive music in the background, setting the tone for the intimate occasion. As the ceremony transitioned to the reception, the band continued to provide a gentle soundtrack, allowing everyone to bask in the glow of the newlyweds’ happiness.

But as the moment for the first dance approached, Rossi knew it was time to unveil his final surprise. He made his way to the small makeshift stage, where a microphone stood unused, and with a confident smile, he took hold of it. “Alright everyone, may I have your attention, please?” His voice carried over the crowd, drawing all eyes to him.

The guests turned their attention to Rossi, their expressions warm and expectant. JJ and Will stood together, their hands intertwined, basking in the moment.

“JJ, Will,” Rossi began, his tone heartfelt, “I am so happy for you both. Thank you for allowing us to witness your union, and may you lead a beautiful life together.”

The group erupted into cheers, the love and support for the couple evident in every smiling face.

Rossi’s eyes twinkled with mischief as he continued, “Now, I do have one last surprise for you…”

JJ, ever the skeptic, raised a brow, her signature look of sass making a brief appearance as she wondered what Rossi had up his sleeve.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Rossi announced, his voice brimming with excitement, “all the way from Broadway, please welcome, Y/N L/N…”

The crowd turned with curiosity as you stepped onto the stage, ready to add your own special touch to this unforgettable night.

As you stepped onto the stage, the evening air filled with a gentle buzz of excitement and warmth. “Hello, all! Thank you so much, David,” you began, your voice clear and bright. “I am deeply grateful to be here performing for such a special evening. Thank you for letting me share in the festivities.”

JJ and Will raised their glasses to you, smiles of appreciation on their faces, and the crowd erupted into cheers. But one person did not share in the cheers, silently staring from the back of the group, his expression frozen in shock—Spencer. He never forgot a face, and yours was etched into his memory, even if time had added a few years since your last encounter.

“I was informed this first song is to be the first dance,” you continued, your eyes scanning the crowd, oblivious to the familiar face among them. “So please make room for the lovely couple!” With a graceful flourish, you began your performance, your voice effortlessly filling the space with a soft, ethereal melody that perfectly suited the evening’s romantic atmosphere.

Spencer could hardly believe what he was seeing. You were here. You were real, and you were performing at this very wedding. For someone who lived his life by facts, figures, and logical conclusions, this moment felt almost like destiny. You had come back into his life in the most unexpected way, and it left him reeling.

You hadn’t noticed him yet, as he was hiding out towards the back, not wanting to draw attention to himself. But as the evening wore on, he found himself pulled to the dance floor by Penelope Garcia, her bright smile and colorful attire impossible to resist. It was only then, as you sang and your eyes swept across the guests, that you saw him. Your breath caught in your throat, but you kept singing, the professionalism in you pushing through even as your wide eyes tracked his every move.

He was dancing with a woman—tall, beautiful, blonde, and dressed in an outfit that could only be described as whimsical. They moved together easily, and you felt a pang of something you hadn’t expected to feel after all these years—jealousy. It wasn’t that you had any claim on him; so much time had passed, and life had moved on for both of you. But seeing him again, so unexpectedly, brought a rush of old emotions, and suddenly, it felt as though no time had passed at all.

You could feel your pulse quicken as the last notes of your performance faded into the night. The applause was warm and appreciative, but all you could think about was getting off that stage and finding Spencer. The need to talk to him, to see him up close after all these years, was almost overwhelming.

“That concludes my contribution to the gorgeous evening David planned. Thank you all again for allowing me to sing for you,” you said, giving the crowd a gracious smile as you left the stage. As you descended, Rossi was there to escort you, his arm linked with yours as he guided you toward the refreshments. You wasted no time in grabbing a glass of champagne, hoping the bubbles might help settle your nerves.

“That was phenomenal, Y/N. You never disappoint. Thank you so much for coming on such short notice,” Rossi said, his voice full of genuine gratitude.

“It was my pleasure, David. Thank you for always thinking of me,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady despite the tumult of emotions swirling inside you.

Before Rossi could say more, a voice you knew all too well sounded from behind you. “Y/N?”

You turned, and there he was—Spencer Reid, standing just a few feet away, looking even more handsome than you remembered. Your heart skipped a beat, your breath catching in your throat as all the emotions you’d been trying to keep at bay came rushing back with full force.

“Hi, Spence,” you managed to say, your voice soft but warm, betraying the flood of feelings coursing through you.

Rossi, ever perceptive, noticed the unspoken tension and slowly began to excuse himself, moving away with the intention of questioning you both later.

Spencer seemed flustered, his mind racing as he tried to process everything. “Wh—what are you doing here? I mean, I know what you’re doing here, but how do you know Rossi?”

You swallowed, trying to keep your emotions in check. “He, uh, he came to one of my shows when I first started performing,” you explained, though your voice was a little choked up, the weight of the moment pressing down on you.

Spencer’s eyes widened with surprise. “You perform? Where?”

“Broadway…” you said, a small, almost self-conscious laugh escaping your lips as you watched his reaction.

Spencer’s eyes softened, a mix of pride and awe flickering across his face. “Wow,” he breathed, clearly impressed. “I didn’t know he really meant–that’s… amazing, Y/N.”

For a moment, neither of you knew what to say, the years that had passed between you suddenly feeling both like a lifetime and like no time at all.

Spencer’s voice was soft, almost reverent as he asked, “Do you… want to dance?”

You nodded, your heart swelling with a mix of nostalgia and hope. “I’d love to.” You let him take your hand and lead you to the dance floor, feeling a lump form in your throat as you realized just how much you had missed him. As his back turned to you, you quickly dabbed at your eyes, hoping he wouldn’t notice the tears threatening to spill over.

The team, scattered around the reception, couldn’t help but glance over at the two of you, curiosity piqued. They exchanged looks, silently wondering how their usually women-avoidant genius had managed to snag the singer for a dance.

With Spencer’s hands resting gently on your hips and your arms draped over his shoulders, you felt both light as a feather and heavy as a ton of bricks, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air between you. His touch was gentle, reassuring, but there was an underlying tension—years of separation and longing bubbling just beneath the surface.

“I can’t believe I’m seeing you right now,” you whispered, your voice trembling slightly. “Are you sure you’re real?”

Spencer, always quick with a quip, responded with a small smile. “Do you often see people that aren’t real?”

You shook your head, a soft laugh escaping despite the lump in your throat. “No… I just can’t get my mind around it.”

“Me neither,” he admitted, his thumbs rubbing small, soothing circles on your waist.

You looked up at him, your eyes tracing the familiar features of his face, now slightly more mature but just as handsome. “You look so handsome, Spence. You’ve aged like fine wine.”

His blush was immediate, endearing in its sincerity. “Thank you,” he mumbled, clearly flustered. “You look gorgeous. You haven’t aged a bit.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “I’m not a profiler, but even I know that’s a lie. Look at these bags!” You pointed to the faint circles under your eyes, a result of late nights and hard work.

Spencer’s gaze softened, and he smiled tenderly. “You’re perfect, maybe I’m just blind to your flaws.”

“Wow, Agent,” you mused, a teasing note in your voice. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re flirting with me.”

“Is that okay?” he asked, a hint of vulnerability in his tone. “Figured I could make up for lost time.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you tried to steady your breathing. “Spencer…”

He noticed the shift in your expression, his brow furrowing slightly in concern. “I remember that face. What’s wrong? Do you have a partner?”

“No,” you assured him quickly, shaking your head. “Should we keep it friendly? Not much has changed…”

“A lot has changed,” Spencer countered, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Like what?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“Like… I happen to know that if you work on Broadway, you get downtime between shows. You’re here right now, aren’t you?”

“That’s true… but I still have to rehearse, practice, and prepare. And I have an audition next week.”

Spencer’s smile widened, his eyes filled with admiration. “And you will do amazing at that audition. Do you want to get dinner after?”

“In New York?” you asked, a bit taken aback by his boldness.

“Mhm,” he hummed, his forehead pressing gently against yours. “I’ll take the train, meet you after you blow the casting directors away.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, though your heart was pounding. “You’re insane. What if we don’t get along anymore?”

“That would be really unfortunate, and I’d just take the train back,” he snorted, the sound making you laugh despite yourself.

“What if you find out that you only liked me because you didn’t really know me?” you asked, the question heavier than you intended.

“I loved you, think I still do,” Spencer corrected, his voice soft but firm, taking your breath away.

“Right,” you murmured, the gravity of his words settling over you. “So… you just want to date me? After six years?”

“Yes,” he said without hesitation, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Even though it’s going to be hard?”

“Absolutely.”

“And we’ll have to do long distance more often than not?”

“Mhm,” he nodded, his resolve unwavering.  

“And—” you began, but your words were cut off as Spencer leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that was both tender and intense, filled with all the emotion and love that had been building up between you for years.

—

“Hey, babe, how was the train?” you asked as Spencer walked up to you, his familiar, comforting presence immediately easing some of your post-audition nerves.

Spencer laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You just auditioned for Hairspray and you’re asking me how my train ride was??” His tone was incredulous, but there was a playful glint in his eyes.

You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “I’m anxious and don’t want to think about it, so tell me about your train ride… or kiss me.”

Spencer’s smile softened as he leaned in closer. “I’ll do both,” he said, his voice tender as he bent down to kiss you. But in his eagerness, he completely forgot about the coffee cup in his hand. As he leaned in, the warm drink spilled, splashing down the front of your shirt.

“Spencer!” you exclaimed, jumping back as the coffee soaked through the fabric, surprise and exasperation coloring your voice.

Spencer’s eyes widened in horror, his face turning a deep shade of red. “Oh no, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean—let me—” He fumbled, his usual calm demeanor thrown off by the sudden mishap.

Despite the mess, you couldn’t help but laugh, the tension from the audition melting away. “It’s okay, Spence,” you said, shaking your head as you tried to blot the coffee stain. “I guess some things never change.” 

Spencer, still flustered but smiling, handed you a handkerchief, grateful that you were taking it in stride. “I’ll make it up to you,” he promised, and you knew he meant it.

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[markantonys]

3x02 - 3x03, let's go!!! (i didn't rewatch 3x01, too excited to move forward! also, i like to watch each episode only once as the season is airing, and then do a full rewatch a while after it's all out)

my mind is whirling with all the content, so there will probably be a lot i forget to comment on! i'm hopping all over the place out of order and also mentioning full book spoilers as i'm mixing in speculation with reactions.

first, of course: GAWYN!!!!!! he's here, and he's perfect!!!!! recalled as shouting thank god it is my boy!!!!! i can't believe he fucks djkfjgj was not expecting that, and galad fucks too! this is wild. i guess all the trakand sibs are horny as fuck in showverse, good for them.

i loved the family dynamics we got here! every single character constantly dunking on how annoying galad is was specifically designed to cater to me, thank you rafe. even a literal forsaken will take the time to dunk on galad! (mat finally bursting out "mate HAVE a day off" was the hardest i laughed in all these episodes, truly the most perfect expression of the way galad makes a person feel)

it is interesting to me that galad is established as the stronger personality with gawyn more of a sidekick, since i'd assumed it would be the opposite in s3 due to the coup storyline being more important for gawyn, whereas galad's whitecloak stuff might not come into play until s4. as of now, both brothers are only credited on imdb for eps 2&3, so either the imdb credits aren't fully accurate or this is all we see of them this season and they aren't involved in the coup. we do have ep8 filled out with 40-something castmembers now (initially only the first 7 eps had gotten updated), so i'm inclined to think imdb is now more or less accurate (bar potential surprise castings that are being held for spoilers like moggy was in s3 - more on that later) and we will not see the brothers again this season. pretty surprising given how important the coup is for book!gawyn, i'd thought it was a surefire opportunity to flesh out his character by showing more of his coup involvement than the books did rather than less, but we'll see how it goes! if we don't see either of them again this season, then that definitely lends weight to the criticisms of the show buckling under the number of characters it has and some of them not getting the attention they need this season; hopefully by the end of the season, we'll have gotten a fair amount of deaths to clear out the stage a bit (and the good news is we don't have a TON of super-important new characters left beyond everyone who's arriving in s3, mostly just tuon and the rest of the forsaken).

it's also possible that maybe ep8 will only show siuan being deposed in the hall and it ends on a cliffhanger, and then the actual coup and tower battle takes place in 4x01, although splitting it up like that would feel like an odd choice structurally so i don't think it's that likely (unless they just really could not fit a whole battle into ep8 and had to punt it off til 4x01).

re: the family tree, galad was introduced as "galad of house trakand" and he was a pretty young child (maybe even only a toddler?) calling morgase mom in the flashback, which made me think he might just be her bio son, BUT i see in the end credits he is named as "galad damodred". so maybe they've kept him as her stepson - i know he does call her mom in the books too, so it was more his age in the flashback that was noteworthy, since book!galad was.......i think somewhere in the 7-9 range at the time of taringail marrying morgase and gawyn & elayne being born, but maybe they've just condensed the timeline and said there was only a few years between tigraine disappearing and having rand (who is around gawyn's & elayne's age, so the gap between them and galad would indicate how long tigraine was in the waste, IF she is galad's bio mom in showverse). it's also possible the credits just goofed a little and gave him his book name even though he doesn't have it in the show, because there wasn't any indication in the actual episodes that galad is not morgase's bio son and E&G's full brother, and i'd think they would've made a passing mention of it if they wanted to set up the reveal that tigraine was his mom. hopefully, whatever rand learns about tigraine's story this season will make it definitive one way or the other as to whether she had another child before him!

back to the trakands! i was not expecting cutthroat morgase, but i dig it. it really emphasizes the instability and high stakes of a succession - the books allude to morgase's succession being very tumultuous, but this cold open makes that extremely clear, and will set us up to understand why elayne is in such a precarious position when she finds herself involved in a succession of her own (and i'm sure the book!succession arc haters would be glad if the show injects a bit more GOT-style backstabby violent politics into it lmao although, i wouldn't be surprised if morgase adopting that type of politics here will end up being a contrast to elayne doing her best to take the higher road when she rises to the throne, similar to how we need to see siuan making bad calls as amyrlin so that egwene will truly feel like a better amyrlin when she succeeds her).

i really loved the look we got at elayne's and morgase's relationship and at elayne as an individual character. we can feel the weight of expectations and duty upon her, but also see the genuine love between mother and daughter and how much elayne looks up to morgase. it's a great depiction of a mother-daughter queen-heir relationship, where we get to see both the familial and political sides of the dynamic. there's clear familial love there, but it's also not as straightforward as normal parent-child relationships are.

gaebril played me so well, i truly thought he was a longtime part of the family and rahvin had only recently assumed his identity, but no! he really did only show up a month ago but is using compulsion to make everyone remember him as a longtime part of the family! it took my breath away, it was so diabolical. the fact that the show took the time to give him and elayne a one-on-one scene makes me hopeful that elayne will get to be involved in defeating him and taking back caemlyn in showverse (s4 avimatrandlayne battle polycule taking caemlyn together PLEASE i need it for my health)

our forsaken meeting was so much fun! love Scottish Sammael and the dynamics between the three we see in this scene, plus evidence of all the inter-scheming when rahvin hints he's working with graendal and semirhage while scheming with lanfear and sammael and THEN talks to moggy afterwards.

on that note, putting on my clown shoes after my speculation last week that semirhage was cut! she's in! this means that demandred is out (SOB i love him), but i mean, we can't one HUNDRED percent rule out asmo either, yes that one statue looked like it had a guitar but maybe it's something else, or maybe covid rewrites ended up having long-term impacts such that their original forsaken plan as of 1x06 ended up changing. i will wear my clown makeup for as long as i can before accepting that we won't see taimandred! but if it is indeed asmo in the last slot, how will we see him? still as rand's one-on-one tutor, or will he be involved in the black tower storyline? as of now it's not clear how much saidin training rand actually needs at this point. will he be able to be self-taught and asmo/demandred would be solely reserved for the black tower rather than rand's personal tutor? if they use asmo but give him a black tower storyline instead of his own book story, it would be strange that they didn't just use demandred as taimandred. but who knows what might happen!

as of yesterday, ann ogbomo was one of the only leaked actors who isn't yet credited on imdb, so now that we have confirmation of semirhage, i think she's going to play semirhage in a 3x08 surprise stinger scene that they're keeping off imdb for now - maybe showing up to nab the male a'dam as a Surprise Tool For Later. if this is the case, then i might expect a seanchan storyline in s4 so that we can get a look at what semirhage is up to, similar to s2 introducing moggy in the stinger and then having her be a big presence in s3. we'll definitely have to wait to see how the tanchico storyline ends, but i'd have two predictions for a potential s4 seanchan & semirhage presence: 1) structure for fewer total seasons - tanchico falls to the seanchan and mat gets stuck there and meets tuon with the invasion, so basically skipping to WH for him (though he'd probably also form the band, but in tanchico and in the context of trying to fight against the seanchan invasion). 2) structure for more total seasons - mat rejoins rand in s4 for his dragon's general plotline and forming the band, and we possibly meet tuon at home in the seanchan court in a made-for-the-show plotline involving semirhage, and they launch the second invasion in s5, at which point mat leads the campaign against them on rand's behalf and meets tuon then. i think as long as we get minimum 6 seasons, structure #2 (which is much preferable to me, for cauthor reasons) would work just fine, so structure #1 would probably only be if they're told they will only get 5 seasons and need to really hop to getting the endgame set up.

on the subject of mat, i love him in these episodes <3 donal continues to deliver such a charming and endearing performance, while also getting at the vast emotional depths mat has below the shallow-seeming surface! in the books, mat ranks around #4 fave for me (elayne #1, rand #2, egwene #3), but whenever a new season of the show comes around, i often find myself enjoying and looking forward to his scenes the most of everyone because donal just brings so much vibrance and depth to the role (as did barney before him!). i loved his convo with siuan, her persuading him to hand over the horn by being like "i'm sure you're not an idiot, riiiiight?" was so funny, and then we get the word-for-word book convo about her comparing him to her uncle.

i already posted about it, but mat being surprised but game at what he thought was a suggestion of a bi orgy!!!! he is not beating the allegations!!!! also pretty sure he had a line like "your brothers know how good i am with a staff" to elayne at the end lmao and meanwhile, the Nobody Wants Mat Carnally saga continued in full force, i was howling. poor mat! he's like, the ONLY character who hasn't fucked yet djkfjghj rand come fuck your man, he's begging for it! new biggest question for s3: will mat ever get laid successfully?

mat blowing the horn 🤝 mat dueling the princes: scenes i didn't care that much about in the books but got emotional watching in the show. it's because the same arrangement of mat's theme from the horn scene was used again at the start of the duel! it always gets me!! i think it's the most beautiful and emotionally-affecting piece of the show's musical landscape so far.

the music in these episodes ROCKED oh i really really hope we'll get a second album of in-show music later on to add to the themes album that released today! i love the new rand theme, and i love how perrin's new theme includes familiar bits from the original s1 goldeneyes theme and expands on it. all the andor music in ep2 was absolutely incredible, a particular standout of the season's music so far.

back to mat, his relationship with min is quite fun and i like that they didn't just instantly make up after their big fight in s2, but i am starting to lean on the side of "okay, this relationship doesn't need to be THIS big of a focus" haha but now that they're headed for tanchico, i'm sure we'll get more of each of them interacting with nynaeve and elayne too and not just each other, and likewise of nynaeve and elayne getting to expand their social interactions from just each other. i look forward to some mingling! though we did get some great mat-nynaeve scenes already in the first 3 episodes.

the redstone doorway in the 13th depository was just an easter egg after all! so we're back down to just the one doorway visit by mat in tanchico, and we know he is 100% getting hanged, but who will rescue him? at this point i feel like it's going to be min, since they had her foresee it and they're building up her and mat's relationship...........ngl i would be soooooo mad if cauthor cpr went to min instead haha i'd rather nynaeve be the one to save him if it can't be rand! but we'll have to wait and see.

elaida is making inroads at the tower! and most importantly, i have finally unlocked a Favorite Minor Aes Sedai with tsutama. my girl!!! i'm guessing we won't see her again this season, and maybe not for the rest of the show, though i'd really love it if she does come back to the tower eventually in a future season to restore a reds-who-oppose-elaida presence, which could be handy depending on whether the show is going to include pevara and/or silviana.

over to perrin's plotline. i love faile!!! very excited to see more of her. "i've never seen someone try to give themselves up and fail" and in doing so perrin captivated her instantly, she's so loser-sexual haha they have a great vibe between them so far, just kind of a curiosity on both sides and some fun banter, with hints of a deeper connection to come but nothing too overtly flirty yet. i look forward to seeing how the show will manage to get them into a position of kissing by the end of the season - we'll probably get some good development in ep5 with the rescue sequence.

otherwise, not too much from me about the two rivers stuff. it will still be the plotline i'm least interested in like it was in the books, but this time i AM still interested in it rather than finding it boring like i did in the books! i agree with @butterflydm's thought in her review post that us seeing alanna keep a handle on herself after one warder's death makes me suspect maksim will also die later this season, and the double-loss will make her go over the edge and do The Thing in s4. i really loved her and perrin's conversation about grief, i choked up a little! and we get confirmation that perrin does have a family and they're alive haha but conveniently offscreen since there's no time to deal with them (same with tam and abell, i'm guessing that at least with tam they couldn't get the actor back this season because i'd imagine they would've wanted to include him if it had been logistically possible).

now on to the waste crew. not a ton going on for them in these episodes, which i expected, since ep4 will be huge for this storyline. no further avirand interactions, much to my sorrow!!! i really hope they get some good relationship development in the second half of the season (and maybe some interactions in ep4 if avi comes to rhuidean with moiraine and rand to do her own trial). the reveal that egwene's renna dreams aren't only PTSD, but also lanfear deliberately doing that to her constantly in TAR: diabolical and heartbreaking! lanfear's speech to rand about wanting to kill the dark one so she can be free of her oaths is so convincing that it's good we also have the scene of her tormenting egwene to make us remember that she loves being evil and maybe isn't being honest with rand here and/or has ulterior motives for wanting him to kill the dark one. but she puts on such a good performance that we can't help but be taken in!

i believe we got confirmation that there are no choedan kal in showverse, and the strongest male sa'angreal is callandor and the strongest female sa'angreal is the sarkonen (aka the orb moiraine will find in rhuidean). definitely a good move to cut down on the number of Super-Powerful Magic Toys that exist, i think.

randgwene continues to drag on, but it did give me the vision of rand cuddling and soothing someone after a nightmare, and that was very wholesome and made me happy haha i am curious how they'll frame the breakup because right now it feels like there's still a TON of love and long-term intentions there on both sides and feels more like we're watching a rough patch in a strong endgame relationship than the final days of an ill-fated relationship, but we shall see.

moiraine and lan both trying to wingman each other with melindhra was so funny djkfjg (also, if we don't get at least 1 rand sweat tent scene, i will hit the roof! i want that man objectified!) and we've set up an interesting look into lan's backstory and his feelings on malkier & kingship. not a storyline or character arc that ever interested me particularly, but happy for the lan enjoyers getting to see him fleshed out more this season!

okay, that's everything i can think of off the top of my head! loved the multi-episode drop to sink my teeth into the season, but very glad it's only one a week from here on out so i can absorb each individual episode more.

[chiisana-sukima]

nine people i want to get to know better

Thank you for the tag, @slutsons-blog! Starting a new post because I'm autistic and therefore mostly only care about the "Current Obsession" question, and want to ramble excessively as usual in that one.

Last song: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team: Pokemon Square because I'm currently playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon with my daughter. Otherwise I honestly couldn't tell you. Whatever was on in my car.

Fave color: Purple

Currently watching: Star Trek Discovery

Last movie: Knives Out

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet, tart, salty

Relationship: married x 27 years

Last thing I googled: the word "dependent", for spelling assistance. which is a good thing because I spelled it "dependant".

Current Obsession: it's been spn since 2016. Truly we are the Hotel California of media franchises. I did recently play Disco Elysium twice in a row in quick succession, and I follow the DE tag. I can't recommend the game highly enough.... but I can feel my Special Interest-level obsession with it fading already. Spn has never faded even a tiny bit and I wonder if it ever will.

@slutsons-blog I feel after reading that you're watching spn for the first time, that I did you a bit of a disservice with my Sam takes to you before in that I mostly talked about Sam's evolution as a character as the show goes on and very little about him from the first five seasons.

Gotta be honest and tell you that although I liked both brothers all along, I was a Dean girl until the end of s6/beginning of s7, when the balance of who gets whumped the most started shifting and my subconscious suddenly decided to switch allegiances. It's not that I liked Dean any less; my id just loves a sopping wet pathetic kitten of a man who has been sexually abused, and Sam got suddenly way more kitteny and pathetic after the Cage. So I don't actually have a ton of takes on "what to love about Sam in the early seasons". I do love early seasons Sam too--she is my beautiful baby princess--but my early seasons takes are a lot more inchoate.

I count myself lucky about my id's sudden defection though, because I think we have limited control of who our blorbos are, and having Dean as a blorbo is a tough row to hoe as the later seasons go along. You know how you noticed that in s6, Dean suddenly gets a lot more assholey without apparent reason? Unfortunately he never gets better again, and in fact keeps getting worse and worse as the years go by, until by the last seasons he is openly far more abusive to their joint child(-in-an-adult body) than John was to him and Sam. It's a realistic picture of what can happen when trauma keeps piling up on people, but it's also honestly pretty distressing, especially if he's your blorbo.

If one is in it for the ship, there's some good destiel content in the later seasons, but if you're in it for Dean, you're left either 1) dealing with the fact he's got extremely significant interpersonal problems that he never gets much of anywhere on solving and that negatively impact his chosen family in profound ways, or 2) pretending he's the same character he was in s1 and Sam is the same Sam from s1, only more boring, and Dean is just trying to put up with him because he was brainwashed by John (or ig 3- something in the middle between those two. But that seldom seems to happen in practice for whatever reason). These two versions of the show are poorly compatible, and that's how the Sam girls and the Dean girls end up in isolated silos. A few people manage to live in both, but not many.

Anyway, I feel like without the context of how Sam and Dean change in the mid to late seasons, the two fics I recc'd as Sam character studies are going to seem insanely Dean-critical, so if you haven't read them yet, you might want to wait until s10. In the meantime, the general recs are fun reads and hopefully do a good job of showcasing both characters earlier on.

Tagging (but I would be a huge hypocrite if I didn't specify there's no pressure to respond, since I almost always fail at responding to tag games myself): @adihildilid @aliusfrater @quietwingsinthesky @sammygender @ardentpoop

@peanutbutterandbananasandwichs @schizosamwincester @normalbrothershow @jellybracelet.

[swanimagines]

The Witcher: Imagine being in love with Jaskier, but feeling heartbroken every time you see him and Yennefer together, because you think they’re together, unaware that Jaskier is in love with you too.

requested by anon

Note: nowadays all requests are done straight to asks, this is my old template of posting and I no longer have their asks!

Note 2: I haven't watched the show past S2 (and likely won't watch it past S2, at least for now) so my new fics for it place themselves during S1 or S2. Just so anyone won't be confused if I get some details wrong that are clarified in later seasons, I'm unable to read the books unfortunately.

THE VERSE ABOUT LOVE

You had stared at Jaskier for what felt like an hour now. Seeing your best friend Yennefer sitting across from him, her hand on his arm, laughing, was a pretty clear sign that their resentment from months ago had melted away and turned into something… positive.

Just not in a way you would have wanted it to turn out. You had hoped that they’d put their disagreements aside, maybe even become friends because you cared about them both, but back when you told Yennefer that for the first time, you didn’t know how you’d feel about Jaskier, your fellow bard, a year later.

Because somewhere along the line, you had fallen hopelessly in love with him.

But now, watching him with Yennefer, seeing how he laughed with her, you couldn’t help but have flashes of what happened between them behind closed doors.

“You look like someone ran over your favorite lute,” Geralt’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. He slid onto the seat across from you, the contents of his mug sloshing a little as he set it down.

“I’m fine,” you muttered, quickly averting your eyes from Jaskier to your drink. 

Geralt turned to look at the pair and grunted. “If you’re worried about them,” he said, “don’t be. They’re not–”

“It doesn’t matter,” you cut him off. “He’s free to be with whoever he wants.”

Geralt raised his eyebrows and you knew he didn’t believe you actually didn’t care and were okay with it, but respected your unspoken plea and said nothing further.

You took another sip of your drink, hoping the taste of alcohol would wash away the feeling in your throat. But of course, it didn’t. You closed your eyes as you swallowed the bitter liquid, and you heard Geralt grunt again.

“Things aren’t always what they seem,” he said, and you slowly opened your eyes to meet him.

“It pretty damn much looks exactly what it is,” you argued, holding yourself back from looking at those two lovebirds. “You travel with them, at least more than I do. Are you seriously claiming there’s nothing between them?”

Geralt didn’t answer at first, taking a swig from his mug. Then, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “You should talk to him.”

You scoffed. “What difference does that make?”

You swore you saw a small smirk on his lips. “You might get surprised.”

Geralt chuckled, which caught you off guard. You had never seen him chuckle like that. When he was amused, he grunted. When he was annoyed, he grunted. You had only learned to tell what kind of grunt it is after months of knowing him. You stared at him, and he shook his head. “Yennefer doesn’t want him. And he doesn’t want her.”

“What? No, that can’t be right. Just look at them, they–”

Geralt interrupted you, “and if you weren’t too busy wallowing, you’d notice that Jaskier’s been sneaking glances at you every time you’re not looking.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, you thought he was joking. But Geralt didn’t joke. Not like this. “You’re lying.”

Geralt grunted, looking over at Yennefer, who had left Jaskier’s side, and then at Jaskier who still leaned against the counter. “Go ask him. See it yourself.”

Then Geralt left your table without another word, leaving you to stare at Jaskier.

For a moment, you felt like roots grew under you as you sat there in daze. Could it be?

Jaskier seemed to notice your staring and flashed you a smile, which finally made you stand up. You didn’t want to seem creepy by just staring at him with wide eyes, Jaskier would soon think you’re possessed by some kind of desire demon if you looked at him like that.

You took in a big breath and walked over to him, which prompted him to smile at you again.

“Hello there, my darling,” Jaskier greeted you, and your heart skipped a beat. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

You faltered for a moment, suddenly hyper-aware of the way his hair fell slightly into his face and how his shirt was just a little loose at the collar, the top button undone. Focus, you scolded yourself.

“I need to talk to you,” you forced yourself to say, and Jaskier tilted his head.

“Oh? Well then, what’s on your mind?”

Your brain short-circuited again. Say it. You opened and closed your mouth like a fish, and hit yourself internally from how stupid you must have looked. Wide-eyed, mouth opening and closing, looking like an idiot. 

After a moment, Jaskier spoke again. “Hey, are you all right?”

That was it, it broke the dam. Before you could think better of it, the words spilled out.

“I’m in love with you, Jaskier,” you blurted out, and the words after that came in a quick flurry, your lips barely able to keep up with the pace. “I have been in love with you ever since we began singing together, and I know it’s stupid, especially since you and Yennefer seem so happy–”

“Wait, stop!” Jaskier cut in. You blinked and to your surprise, you saw how his cheeks flushed pink, before your shoulders dropped again in disappointment. Of course even the name of Yennefer made him blush, he was a romantic, acting like a teenager in love after all. “What did you just say?”

You groaned, there was no going back now. “I said I’m in love with you. But it doesn’t matter and I will leave if you want me to. You’re happy with Yennefer, and that’s what I want for you, happiness. Even if it’s not with me.”

He stared at you for a moment, and you could hear your heart drumming in your ears, you could feel the blood rushing into your face. You wanted to sit down, you regretted all of this, you had ruined everything, you–

“Yennefer?” he repeated, cutting off your thought train. “You think–? Oh, stars above, no.” He let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “Yennefer and I? That’s not… It’s not what you think. We’re friends now, yes, but that’s all. She’s been teasing me about–”

He cut himself off, before he looked down for a moment.

“She’s been teasing me,” he continued, “about how often I look at you. How I can’t seem to stop writing songs about you. How obvious I am.”

Your eyes widened. Was he saying what you thought he’s saying? “Obvious?”

Jaskier smiled, a little shyly, and nodded. “Apparently to everyone but you. I…” He trailed off, taking a deep breath. And then he spoke almost as quickly as you had a moment ago, “I’ve been in love with you for ages. Truly, madly, hopelessly. And I thought you’d never notice.”

You stared at him, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure he could hear it. “You… what?”

He reached out, his fingers brushing yours on the counter. “I’m saying,” he murmured, “that if you’re in love with me, and I’m in love with you, perhaps we could… uh, do what people in love tend to do after finding out about each other’s feelings.”

For a moment, the world seemed to stop. The whole tavern was quiet, blurring around you, and you could only see Jaskier standing there before you. Then, without thinking, you leaned in and kissed him – hesitantly at first, but it deepened as soon as Jaskier pulled you closer.

When you finally pulled away, you rested your foreheads together and Jaskier chuckled. “This is going to make my new favourite song.”

You laughed, still not quite believing what was happening. “Shut up and kiss me again, bard.”

---

Requests are open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

[volturiprincess]

I Wanted To Be Yours

Alec Volturi x fem reader

Summary: You thought he felt the same but it turns out you were wrong, dead wrong. Warnings: Angst no comfort, Alec's thoughts are harsh (sorry) A/N: I started this in the summer, but at first it was going to be a happy version vs a sad version with the same concept of being up in a tree but l got a whole new vision for it. Ultimately I just pushed it to the side not thinking I liked the idea of this until I looked at it recently and got inspo for it. So moral of the story is if you start a WIP and then leave it alone for a bit it can later become something else. The inspiration for this was a cartoon (courtesy to my younger siblings, I had no choice but watch) where a family was up in a tree chilling and the song "Jugaste y Sufrí" by Eslabon Armado and "I wanna be yours" by Artic Monkey (a weirdo combo of inspiration for sure). Enjoy💙 Word Count: 3624

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🖤

Run

Run 

Run!

I move my legs as fast as I can to try to create as much distance between me and the castle. But my human legs can only take me so far, soon enough I'm running toward this grand tree. This tree is perfect to climb upon so I go to the nearest branch. I pull myself up and lean my back against the trunk while I pull my knees to my chest to wrap my arms around them. I closed my eyes as I felt silent hot tears roll down my cheeks. How could I be so stupid? Why did I think he was going to react the same way as I? The way he looked at me with disgust, as if I was not worth his attention or as if I was beneath him. I feel so embarrassed, what if what Master Marcus said about Alec and I is false? That we were supposed to be this fated pair, united by a bond grander than any other type of force in the world.

But why would I have to be here, this is not the life I wanted. I was happy with the life I had in my hometown, I might have not had much but it was home to me. It was suddenly disrupted when I met his eyes that day in the woods. I happened to be picking wood for my fireplace since the season was growing

cold. I had a good stack of twigs but I wanted a couple more for luck. If only I stayed content with what I already had because what happened next changed my life for the worst.

As I walked deeper into the woods I felt a fast cold swoosh behind me. I immediately halted my steps to quickly turn my head to the sudden movement. I was faced with nothing. Maybe it was just an animal running off to find some sort of warmth from the cold. Not wanting to find out the real truth, I keep on walking. I assure myself it's just an animal and I'm just being paranoid because I am alone in the woods. I heard some strange stories of people disappearing in the woods but it's just all rumor, nobody in the village has actually vanished. But rumors have to have come from somewhere.

This time instead of feeling the swoosh, I get this six sense of being watched. Never in the years of going into the woods alone have I gotten this sense of being watched until now. But who could it be? I'm so deep into the woods and the next village is so far away and even people from mine don't dare go deep into the woods like I do. I take a deep breath and continue my stroll to obtain my last piece of wood for my awaiting fire. I finally manage to find a good enough piece and start to walk back when I hear it.

“Stop”

I immediately froze, it was like an instinct or if someone spelled me with just one single word. I felt their presence behind me but the peculiar thing about this is I did not feel warmth from them, no I felt a harsh cold presence, it was colder than the already cold weather. His voice also sounded just as cold as his presence.

His movements were just as silent as the woods are currently. I was faced with eyes that were full of anger. Full of hatred, full of the worst emotions one can feel circled into one. I felt fear, pure fear, the type when you are aware you are facing death itself and there's no way to avoid it. Almost like you are destined to die at that moment. He didn't say any other words, we just stared at one another, no words spoken. I was too frightened to look away from the fear he might catch me off guard and harm me. Even if his stance was intimidating, I couldn't help but think how strikingly elegant he is. I had never seen such a dazzling man in my life, he was clean, well presented, and his posture was linear. 

But that could not stop me from fearing him, no matter how handsome he is, it does not cut the idea of how I could die at that moment. I was so locked in gaze with him that I failed to notice black smoke starting to surround me slowly. It was slowly circling closer to my head, I was about to move but I soon realised I could not. I couldn't feel my legs, my arms were not able to move either. What is this smoke doing to me? Is he doing this to me?

Before I could even conclude an answer for my questions, the smoke had enveloped me completely. When I finally woke up I was in a cell. The only source of light I had was a torch that was in front of my cell, it felt so cold in here. How did I even get here? All I remember was that man and then the smoke but that was all. Did he bring me here? Why would he? I don't know him and I have never seen him in my life. I want to go home. I felt the tears come down from panic and fear. What did I do to deserve this?

“I see you have finally woken up”

I looked up to try to find the source of his voice but I could not see him. I knew it was the same man from the woods because he had that cold tone. 

Mustering the courage to finally talk to him I finally speak but it comes out in a stuttering mess.“W-why d-did you br-bring m-me here?”

I cursed internally for sounding so weak currently but how can I not when I am in an unknown place and was brought here against my will. I have every right to be scared and maybe sound a bit pathetic. And to add to that I'm also cold, which results in me shivering and my words to stumble a bit. 

“I will have some of my companions take you to the Masters”

Masters? I don't think I like the sound of that, and why can't he take me to them, why does it have to be other people. What if they are scarier than him? Soon enough right outside my cell were two tall figures, they were so tall and menacing looking, especially the tallest one, he had muscles  that looked like they could crush me instantly. 

I backed into the corner of my cell trying to put as much distance as I can from them but that seems useless because I just cornered myself now. They open the door and they come closer to me, my lip trembling slightly as I feel that feeling of fear creep up again but more stronger now. The slightly shorter one reached for me.

“We won't hurt you”

I gulped as I heard him talk, it was so warm, the complete opposite of the other guy. I, with deep hesitation reached for his hand, he gently guided me out of the cell. 

“I am Demetri and the tall one is Felix, pleasure to meet you little flower”

I nodded as I introduced myself with a small voice, I felt so small being in between them, I was a little tree between two mountains. I was placed between them as Felix led the way and Demetri was behind me, I did feel somewhat safe with them but I still felt terrified. Halfway to our journey to who knows where Demetri offered me his coat, it fit me big but I started to warm up a bit.

We arrived at a large, pointed dome with pillars all around the room. In front of the room were three chairs, making them appear like thrones, in them sat three men. They were unmovable, motionless, almost as if they were statues. Maybe they are because I have never seen a human be so motionless. 

That resolution was quickly popped as the one in the middle gave me a fanged smile, I wanted to turn away and run back to where we came from but Demetri and Felix both were holding my arms now. 

I looked around the room and I could sense how the six of us are not alone, there are definitely more people in here that are hiding in the shadows. 

“So we finally meet the mate of one of our most powerful guards. What a delightful day it is.”

I gulped as the same man who gave me the eerie smile started to walk over to me. I shifted slightly in the guy's hands but they maintained their grip on me, it was not a tight grip but it was hard to move freely.

“Hello dear, may I see your hand?”

“Why?”

His face for a minute contoured to a bit of irritation but he masked it quickly with an amused look.

“Well you see little one, I am able to see every thought and memory you have ever had”

How is that even possible? I have heard of psychics in my town, my grandma was considered a witch in my village for the strange rituals she did in her little hut. She had the knowledge of what plants or oils worked for different cases. One time I had immense abdominal pain and she told me to drink some herb mixture she made and in a matter of days the pain went away. 

But how is it possible for one to see someone’s past thoughts or memories? I was never into supernatural things, sure I heard my fair share of legends but I never believed them. There was a weird feeling in the air, these ‘people’ did not look or acted normal.  I felt Demetri move my arm so the ‘mind reader’ could grab my hand. I soon faced all of my memories from childhood, to my teen years, to my now young adult years. I even heard every thought I had, some were harmless while others were….a bit inappropriate and private. 

The man finally let go of my hand and took a step back, he gave me a quick scan from my head to my feet and then did that fanged smile once again.

“My dear Demetri will you go fetch Alec, he will want to hear this”

Demetri let go of me and was gone, I was still being held by Felix as the room was once again in silence. The silence was scary, especially in a room where nobody was moving or blinking. Huh I just noticed that, nobody was blinking, there gazes either bored into myself or anywhere but me. Why am I still here? What are they planning on doing to me? Are they going to kill me? I haven't even done anything, I'm already missing my cozy little house. I'm picturing myself sitting by the fireplace while I am weaving baskets that I will use for the spring to pick up wildflowers. It was a simple life on my own but that did not bother me. Why did he have to show up and change it so suddenly?

As I came out of my cloud of thoughts I saw Demetri walking in with that same man from the woods, is that supposed to be Alec? That same man from the woods didn't even tell me his name, nor did the three men on their thrones. He avoided eye contact with me through the whole conversation, Aro, who I only found out his name when one of the other three men on the chairs called to him. I could only remember bits and parts of what was said but my faith was decided for me, I was to stay here for the rest of my life and soon enough I will become a vampire. 

The way my eyes snapped open when Aro revealed their real nature, I wanted to laugh from nervousness because there was no way such creatures existed. When he called upon an innocent guard and ripped his arm off revealing how there was no blood but like a crystal like texture inside I almost fainted. At that moment I wanted to cry, how can anything that is being said be real?

With time I started to grow comfortable in the castle, I mostly got along with Felix and Demetri. Jane, who I found out right away has a terrifying ability, has been cold with me. She gives me endless glares of wanting to kill me so I tend to be quiet and distant toward her unless she approaches me for some reason. Alec once in a while comes to me but it's never long enough to get to talk to him. I know nothing about him, I only know about his ability, that he has a twin sister, and…that is all actually. 

When winter became spring, I was finally able to go outside for a longer period of time without freezing. It was beautiful this time of the year, the flowers were blooming, the sun gave me warmth, and I could breath in the fresh air. Italy was truly a sight to see at this time of the year, I got to enjoy this new environment and see things I have never seen. Usually when I would go outside, a guard would have to accompany me. I mostly enjoyed when Felix or Demetri would join me because they made being outside enjoyable. But when it was another guard, I felt so tense and felt so uncomfortable. Alec has yet to come out with me, he's always busy with missions or other guard duties so I learned to not get my hopes up with him. 

That quickly changed when he surprised me by saying if I would like to join him outside for a walk. The walk with him felt…like we were the only people on this earth. He actually talked with me, that cold tone that he always had when he spoke was nowhere to be spotted. He spoke about his time here with the Volturi and about some of his missions, it was all so fascinating and it left me hanging on each word that spilled from his lips. We went back and forth asking each other questions, the energy between us just flowed naturally. So this is what it's like to be in a bond? Master Marcus mentioned to me about this bond I supposedly have with Alec, he said it's like two puzzle pieces connect perfectly. At the time I did not feel that with Alec but right now I did. 

We stopped at a little area in the gardens that had a stone bench, around the bench were blooming flowers of a variety of shades and forms. As we sat there we looked at one another in silence, it was not awkward or uncomfortable. It gave me a moment to admire how his face was twinkling, I never saw him in this light, I only saw the guards like this but not Alec’s yet. It suits him beautifully, he was made to be twinkling like this. 

“Does it hurt”

“What does?”

“The way you sparkle, does it not hurt? Or cause pain?”

He gave me a slight smile but it was very hard to notice it unless you lean in closely.

“No, I actually don't feel anything when my skin does that”

“Will I be able to do that?”

“Yes”

Once again we were in silence, a comfortable silence again. I saw how his eyes would give my lips quick glances and I would find myself doing that too but stop when I saw him leaning in. I felt my heart stop beating and my breath hitch. I didn't know what to do so I just leaned in and met his lips half way, they were cold but they were soft. It was a gentle, innocent kiss that made the world stop for a minute.

I felt his fingertips gently caress my cheek until he pulled away abruptly. My eyes opened lazily as my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Did I not do it right? He was my first so I was not even sure if what I was doing was correct. His once relaxed face turned cold once again, his face contoured to one of anger in a matter of seconds. He looked just like he did in the woods all those months ago. 

“Never do that again, you dare do something like that again human and I won't hesitate to have you in the cell”

My stomach dropped as I felt myself without even realizing getting up and making a run for it. Which is where I find myself currently, up in a tree, crying. Fresh new tears fell down as I finished recalling how I ended up here. How can someone flip sides in a matter of seconds and cause so much damage with one phrase? Human. That's what he called me. He’s been addressing me by my actual name, it gives me a warm feeling each time my name slips from his mouth. That was quickly discarded in a matter of seconds, everything that we built today was thrown out the window. 

He kissed me, why is he putting the blame on me? I thought he wanted that when he kept looking at me with that look. He was leading me on for sure, I even felt his cold touch on my cheek, he was hesitant but nevertheless he did it. How can that suddenly heartfelt moment turn into this so fast? I just wanted ... .to finally be his as I was destined to and yet this is what I get in return. Rejection and a life I never asked for.

Epilogue 

Alec POV

A human mate. How unfortunate of events this has become. And to think she will be turned and will have to be by my side for eternity. I am not looking forward to that, I want nothing to do with her. She is nothing compared to me, she's not fully one, she is half. And to think she thought she had a chance with me, how pathetic of her. The way she carried herself makes her look so weak and such a pity to look at. I distance myself from her because there is no way in hell I want to be near her. Her scent makes me want to drain her dry, mate or not, she is carrying my source of nutrition and I just want to keep my thirst down. That..intimate moment was so disturbing to me, I did not like how she was warm, it only tempted me more to drain her. Why did she think I would like such a thing, where in her little head did she think I would enjoy such an act? Have I by any means given a slight indication I wanted her to do that to me? I was so distant with her and avoided her by all means. 

The only reason I even went on that walk with her was because Demetri and Felix forced me too, they encouraged me to “get to know her more” and that she is a “lovely person”. I even heard them call her “little flower”, how truly foolish to call a mere human that. The way I had to pretend to get along with her made me actually sick to the stomach, I was given pointers on how to be ‘nice’. I had to be someone else just to make her comfortable. Why does she deserve such special privileges? I am one of the most feared beings but had to set that aside to accommodate a human.

I only talked with her just so this whole walk would end soon and she would stop giving me those eyes of hope. Everytime I would walk by her or by some chance I had to go to my now “shared chambers” to grab something she would give me those eyes of wanting me to do or say something to her. It infuriated me, I felt every inch of my body burn with anger and hatred for her. All humans are good for is to stop the burning in my throat. 

I never wanted a mate, I was content with the life I had with my sister and my place here in Volterra with the Volturi. Why does such inconvenience have to exist? Why do mates have to exist? This whole ordeal is making my already good life so uncomfortable, Master Marcus already gives me endless talks about this bond, he even brings up his late wife. I do feel sympathy for him in that aspect but look what happened to him now, he’s barely a living being. Barely walking amongst us as an immortal being, barely acknowledging his existence or surroundings. I would rather die than for a situation like that to happen to me. 

I don't care if I'm hurting her feelings or that I am not trying to seal the bond, I want nothing from this. If she’s such a good human why don't Demetri and Felix keep her? Yes that works for me, that way she is not my problem to deal with. In this life, we don't want our other half, in this life we don't need our mates, in this life it can be rejected. I wish I left her to die in my smoke in the woods instead of bringing her back here. 

[dervampireprince]

ASMR | Castlevania - Alucard x Listener SFW Comforting Alucard After A Nightmare

[M4A] [Set soon after the finale of Castlevania Season 4 (there are no Nocturne spoilers here)] [Established romantic relationship] [Reverse nightmare comfort] [TW mentions of death, murder, very brief mention of Alucard's sexual assault that happens in season 3, death of parents and grieving]

Didn't realise season 2 of Nocturne was releasing so soon and I wasn't sure if I'd get around to watching it, saw one picture of Olrox, and whoops watched the entire season in one evening. This audio was requested before season 2 came out and was scheduled for later but I brought it forwards since hopefully there will be some want for Alucard right now. I got too inot this one and how much I need Vlad and Lisa to have told Adrian that they're still alive that while pretending to cry in this audio I actually started crying oops. It's a shame the Castlevania shows aren't more popular. I always see such a lack of fanworks compared to other shows like Arcane. I know there is more horror and violence in Castlevania than Arcane, but Castlevania and Nocturne are such wonderful shows, well-written, beautifully animated, and nice representation on top of all of that.

A non-spoilery thing that got me with season 2 is how often Mizrak was allowed to cry, not just a little welling of tears in his eyes, this big stereotypically macho masculine man was allowed to just sob over and over, in front of other men, and he was never shamed for it, never embarrassed by doing it. And that shouldn't be so groundbreaking to me in 2024, but sadly I think there still isn't enough of male characters being allowed to show intense emotions that aren't anger. I've also loved in the Castlevania shows how gay/queer relationships are normalised. Striga and Morana, Alucard being bisexual, Olrox and Mizrak... there's never any homophobia thrown at them by other characters. Mizrak might have internalise-homophobia, but his inner conflict seems to more be because Olrox is a vampire not that he's a man. And I don't care whether that's historically accurate, I personally like seeing historical and fantasy settings where they just decide homophobia/transphobia don't exist. I don't think that's erasure, I think it can be an enjoyable fantasy for queer people to enjoy a period drama where queer people can exist in the open with the understanding that this is a fantasy piece and not a historical documentary. I don't know, maybe that's just me who loves historical settings who would love to see and read stories about gay and trans characters being able to be out in the 1800s and what that would look like, what a 1700s binder could have looked like, what 1920s advertisements for shaving razors aimed at trans fems could have looked like, things like that. I don't know, maybe that's just me, I just think it's fun to think about. Sorry that this ramble ended up in an audio description.

Anyway I'm glad I got an Alucard request, I love him very much. And I love his Nocturne design. I've seen some complain about it but they frankly sound like borderline transphobia when they're complaining that he 'looks to feminine'. I think he looks beautiful, and it's definitely giving the same aesthetics as Ayami Kojima's original illustrations and concept for Castlevania where frankly most of the men she draws look more androgynous than typically 'masculine'.

.

Old public spicy audios on sound gasm (link in pinned post). 2 Exclusive spicy audios on Patreon every month. I also stream on Twitch every week @ dervampireprince . [minors + ageless blogs dni. this blog is for 18+ only.] [do not repost/reupload/edit any of my content]

[strawberry-cowmilk]

cooking with the brothers

mc's gender is not mentioned, not proof read

content warnings: none

-----

Lucifer

it doesn't matter what culinary level you're at, lucifer is basically your average masterchef winner and he acts like it

maybe he likes to brag a little, maybe he's wondering if you're impressed by his cooking skill

he also uses ingredients like devildom olive oil that looks like it costs 50 grimm per drop

he is kind of controlling when you're cooking together though

but whatever meal you make, it looks smells and tastes amazing

Mammon

sometimes when you're on cooking duty together you end up having to get akudonald's to serve dinner on time

because you get distracted together

like mammon starts a play fight with spoons, which you join in on meanwhile the food is burning

and mammon kind of never follows a recipe, he mostly does what feels right

he opens the cupboards too and goes 'okay what do we got here' and improvises a meal

Leviathan

he mostly wants to make meals he's seen in anime cafes, or recreate food from his favorite shows and tsl

if you don't got the ingredients he'll improvise a meal with whatever is left, since he doesn't want to go grocery shopping

and while he's cooking he likes to blast really loud music, if you love it he'll blast it even louder

one time satan was trying to read and the music was bothering him, so he stole levi's speaker which made levi chase him and you were in charge of the food alone for a while (average day with the brothers)

Satan

he has a cooking book full of recipes, he gives it to you so you can choose something to make

satan has multiple cooking books actually, one of them is all cat-themed and if anyone would find it in his room he'd get embarrassed and angry at the same time

and one of them is a cooking book with recipes you can make for your cat

anyways, satan goes grocery shopping on time for the ingredients and he's a pretty good cook

he's also very focussed so everything goes smoothly and dinner gets served well on time

Asmodeus

on the day you're on cooking duty together, asmo sends you a ton of devilgram posts with recipes you can make

sometimes he does change the recipes though, like if somebody doesn't like raisins he'll take them out

asmo gets distracted sometimes though, there have been times where he wanted to change the song and took 5 minutes to pick a new one

speaking of music sometimes cooking with him turns into a karaoke and dance party but at some point the food gets finished

Beelzebub

he brings a big bag of chips with him so he can eat those instead of the ingredients for the meal if he gets too hungry

do not let beel sample anything though because there have been times where he's sampled the whole thing (he even warns you about this himself)

he does like to watch you sample the food and tell him what you think of the flavors and all

when the food is finally done and served, he eats it in a whole minute

he's been waiting and you made it together so it's special

Belphegor

he cooks like your average college student during exam season

belphie goes 'hey mc I got some stuff, put it in the microwave and three minutes later we got a meal'

if it's not microwavable it's probably something boxed that's done in under ten minutes

but he's capable of cooking something proper with you, just know you might end up doing more work than him

and when he actually puts in effort, he finds out that cooking together is honestly really fun and relaxing

[zegrasdrysdale]

The arrival pic of John holding the little girls hand has me thinking about him as a dad and how great he’d be. Can you do first time dad John? Like his excitement finding out/birth/newborn fluff and the baby is maybe due in the beginning of the off season so he’s happy he can actually be there for his wife towards the end and not be stressed about missing the arrival and can soak up those newborn moments as a little family <3

[ first time forever ] j. marino

paring : John Marino x fem!reader

summary : the events leading up to John and his fiancée welcoming their first baby and becoming first time parents

warning(s) : pregnancy, throwing up. childbirth, light sexual content and language

author's note : had to do math for this one and math is not my strong suit (i very much fit the stereotype of english majors not being able to do math). pls don't yell at me if the math is wrong. i tried

༺═──────────────═༻

【 July 22nd, 2023 】

She falls to the side under the blankets with a sigh. Her breathing is labored and she looks up at the ceiling as she recovers from the strongest orgasm of her life. John is already curled up at her side and presses soft kisses into her shoulder.

"You have no idea how sexy you looked riding me, baby," John mumbles against her skin. He looks through his eyelashes at her. "Might need you to do that again."

With a breathy laugh, she looks over at her new fiancé. "Not tonight," she tells him. "We've already gone three rounds. You might have a lot of stamina from being a hockey player but I don’t. I’m not a hockey player that is constantly working out."

John smiles and trails kisses up to her jaw. She bites her already swollen bottom lip for a second and lets out a soft sigh as he makes his way to her cheek.

"I wouldn't make you go again tonight," he promises her. "We get to do this for the rest of our lives."

She smiles and John lifts his head to look at her. She grabs one of his hands with her left hand, her new ring sparkling in the soft lamp light of their bedroom as she laces their fingers together. John softly kisses the ring on her finger.

"For the rest of our lives," she echoes. He smiles at her before he leans in and kisses her softly.

It doesn't lead to anything. As a matter of fact, she falls asleep about five minutes later because of the amount of orgasms she had in such a short amount of time.

The morning in the other hand is a completely different story, and she doesn’t even mind because she is so in love with him.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

【 September 16th, 2023 】

Something is wrong. Well, not wrong, but her body hasn't felt like her own recently. Every time she's eaten something she usually likes, it ends with her in the bathroom puking it up.

This is not the time to be getting sick. John is about to start playing preseason games and she wants to actually go to them without having to worry about throwing up something she eats. This might be the worst time to get sick.

She was going to go watch John at camp today but she is once again on the bathroom floor and throwing up the food that she ate last night for dinner. John is kneeling beside her and holds her hair back in a ponytail as she throws up.

“You shouldn’t come to watch today if you still aren’t feeling good,” he comments as she flushes the toilet and sits back against it. John grabs a cloth and dabs the sweat off her face. “I wouldn’t want you to push yourself if you’re sick.”

She pouts and looks up at him. “No, baby,” she quickly says. “I want to go and be there to support you. I’m okay enough to go. I promise.”

John shakes his head and pushes her loose hair behind her ears. “I don’t want you to make yourself more sick,” he replies.

“I’ve been sick for almost two weeks,” she says. As soon as the words leave her mouth, she realizes just how long she really has been sick.

Constantly throwing up and feeling nauseous, especially in the morning or after she eats something. Her body has felt foreign to her and she’s been so tired even though she gets enough sleep every night.

The cramps she’s been getting with no period is the last red flag before she realizes what might be happening.

She looks up at John and asks, “Can you grab the box of tampons for me?”

He reaches behind him and grabs the box of Tampax Pearl tampons out from underneath the sink. He hands it to her and she sees that it’s not even open. She covers her mouth with her hand and looks up at John. He’s blurry because of the tears that have formed.

“What’s wrong?” John questions as the tears roll down her cheeks. “Why are you crying?”

“I don’t think I’m sick,” she confesses. “I’ll need to take a test for confirmation but I might be pregnant, baby.”

John’s eyes widen before a smile forms on his face. “You think so?” he asks.

She nods and reaches up to pull him into a hug. John falls into her arms because he’s off balance and they both laugh on the bathroom floor. She runs her fingers through his curls and she presses kisses to his cheek.

“Will you be okay while I go to camp?” he asks when he pulls back. “Or do you want to come with me and we can go to a CVS or something to get some tests after I’m done? I really want to be here when you take them.”

“I’ll come with you,” she replies. “I wanted to be there anyway. Give me a second to get off the floor.”

John gets up to go get ready.

She can’t stop smiling since she realized that she might be pregnant. She most likely is pregnant and she has been ignoring the signs for weeks. She takes a few minutes before she gets off the floor and walks into the bedroom.

Her fiancé is buttoning up his shirt and tucking it into his pants. He looks over and asks, “Are you wearing one of my jerseys or a t-shirt?”

“Probably a jersey,” she replies as she walks to the closet to grab something. “Alternate or home?”

“Alternate,” John answers. “I like the black jerseys.”

She smiles and nods. “We’ll have to get our baby one,” she comments.

When she looks at John, he has the biggest smile on his face. The smile alone is enough to get her excited for the birth of their baby.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

【 December 2023 】

yourusername & john.marino97

liked by njdevils, nicohischier and 72,981 others

yourusername baby marino coming april 2024 🤍🍼

view all 4,136 comments

nicohischier congratulations !

dawson1417 boy or girl ?

yourusername come to the baby shower next week to find out

dawson1417 booo

njdevils We have a mini Marino jersey ready for you! ❤️

jackhughes so proud that i was able to keep this secret

john.marino97 my loves 🤍 can’t wait to start our family in a few months

yourusername 🥺🫶🏼 love you

penguins Congratulations John and (Y/N)! We can’t wait to meet the little one (and put them in the right jersey)

john.marino97 💛🖤

lhughes_06 gonna be the best uncle

pally_18 congrats

nhl ❤️🖤

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

【 December 14th, 2023 】

Her sisters have done so much leading up to the baby shower. The decorations are a beautiful pastel blue or pink. The cake that she and John are going to cut into to find out the sex of their baby is stunning.

She wears a short flowy pink dress with spaghetti straps and John wears a blue golf shirt with white shorts. Their friends and family are wearing either blue or pink. She could cry at how amazing everything looks but she put on mascara. Hopefully waterproof because she’s going to cry either way today.

The cake is sitting on the kitchen island. Everyone has surrounded it. John holds a knife in his hand and she looks up at him. She bites her bottom lip, ruining her lipstick in the process.

Since the start of her second trimester, all she’s wanted to do is jump him. He could come back from a game all sweaty and she’d still want to pin him to a mattress. The only thing that’s really stopped her is the fact that her belly is the size of a balloon and John probably doesn’t find that really hot.

“… llo?” someone is saying to her while she is zoned out and thinking about sex. “You in there?” It’s her younger sister. “Welcome back.”

“What’s up?” she asks as she looks around the room at everyone. “Is it time?”

Her sister nods. “It’s time, and you went into her head while looking up at John. I don’t want to know what you were thinking about because I could see the look on your face but we needed you to come back to the present day so you can cut your cake.”

She feels her cheeks flush as her sister laughs and goes to join the crowd around them. She looks up at John and asks, “Was I really that zoned out?”

John nods and leans into her ear. “I also saw the look on your face and it’s about time,” he whispers in her ear. “I have been patiently waiting for this moment to come for weeks since you wouldn’t let me touch you.”

“Even with my belly?” she softly asks.

“Especially with your belly,” he replies, voice still soft. Their eyes meet and she smiles up at him. “Ready to cut the cake?”

With a short nod, she grabs hold of the knife over John’s hand. She’s shaking slightly as the knife cuts through it.

Seconds later, with careful hands, they pull out the slice they just cut. Under the white icing is pink cake.

They’re having a baby girl.

The group of friends, family, and teammates around them celebrates. Everyone offers congratulations to the two of them.

Just to mess with John a little bit, she puts icing on her finger and puts it on his cheek. Surprised, he looks over at her. “You did not,” he says.

“You got a little something,” she laughs and points to her own cheek.

John tries to wipe it off but keeps missing the blob of icing on his cheek. She smiles and wipes it off for him. Then she sucks the icing off her finger and makes eye contact with her fiancé.

There’s a flicker in John’s eyes when their eyes meet. She smiles and John lightly grabs her wrist. “Let’s go,” he says.

“But-”

“Are you turning down seeing me naked?” he questions. Her eyes widen and she shakes her head. “Then come on.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

【 April 17th, 2024 】

The day starts out great.

Well, as great as it can with the Devils not in the playoffs this season and nine months pregnant. She feels heavy and she can’t see her feet anymore. John is cleaning out his locker and doing exit interviews with the team. She stays in bed and eats some of the Tru Fru that has been in the freezer for weeks.

Criminal Minds is playing on the TV when she gets what feels like a very strong cramp in her lower back and the bottom of her abdomen. She doesn’t think anything of it because she’s been getting light cramps for two days.

Then she gets another one about ten minutes later. It’s a little stronger than the last and she gasps from the pain.

This cannot be happening right now. She isn’t allowed to go into labor because John is at work. She has no way of getting to the hospital.

There’s a third concraction and sudden between her legs feels very wet. She lifts up the blanket and sees a big puddle of water between her legs on the mattress. Her water just broke.

After the contraction subsides, she grabs her phone to call someone. Anyone that will take her to the hospital.

She starts with John because maybe he’s done. It rings and rings until she gets his voicemail. “John Marino,” she begins to say as she rolls out of bed. “You better be done soon because I’m about to leave for the hospital to give birth to your daughter. I’m going to kill you if you aren’t in that room and holding my hand in an hour. I might kill you anyway because this hurts.”

Her next call is to her sister who lives about five minutes away. She picks up within three rings.

“You okay?”

“My water just broke and John is at work,” she says. She feels another contraction come on and she groans. Not that it relieves any pain. “Please take me to the hospital because I need an epidural.”

“On my way,” her sister immediately tells her. “Do not try to climb down three fights of steps by yourself, or even take the elevator. God forbid something happens. I will come get you.”

She groans into the phone again and bends over, hoping that it’ll elevate some pain. It doesn’t.

Five minutes later, she’s being hauled out the door and down the elevator. She has the baby bag over her shoulder as she gets into her sister’s car. She tries John again but isn’t able to reach him.

A YouTube notification comes over and sees that it’s the first round of exit interviews. Lazar, Haula, Bastian, and Holtzy. No John so they may not have even interviewed him yet. Maybe they’re in the middle of interviewing him and that’s why he’s not picking up his damn phone.

In a desperate effort to get a hold of her fiancé, she calls Nico. The captain gave her his number just in case. This is that just in case.

Nico picks up after the first two rings. “Good morning,” he cheerfully says. “How are you?”

“Where’s John?” she asks. “He isn’t picking up his phone and it’s important.”

“He’s talking with Amanda right now,” he tells her. “Are you okay? Do you need him?”

Another contraction. “My water broke,” she says through gritted teeth. “My sister is taking me to the hospital. Tell him to get his ass to the hospital right now or I am going to murder him.”

Her sister pulls into the parking lot. “Yeah, I’ll get him,” he replies. “I’ll drive him there myself if he needs me to.”

“Thank you, Nico,” she sighs as her sister parks.

The line goes dead and she slowly gets out of the car with her sister’s help. “Is he on the way?”

“I hope so,” she replies. “Nico is going to bring him here.”

“Good.”

They walk into the hospital and up to the maternity ward without any contractions despite them getting closer and stronger. She leans against the nurse’s counter as she checks in.

Once in the room, she puts on a hospital gown and is hooked up to a machine that monitors the baby in her belly.

Then she’s left alone while her sister talks with the doctor and calls John. She sits on the bed and looks at her swollen belly that she won’t have in a few days or weeks once she delivers the baby.

She’s going to miss her belly. It’s one of her favorite things about being pregnant. Knowing she’s growing a human inside of her. A human that she and John made because they love each other.

A contraction hits her at the same time tears prick her eyes. She will truly miss being pregnant.

The door to the room opens and John comes running in. “Baby, hi,” he pants like he just ran up here. “Are you okay? Do you need something? Why are you crying?”

“We’re going to have a baby,” she tells him. “My belly is going to go away and she’ll be in the world.”

John grabs the hand that doesn’t have an IV in it and kisses the back of it. “It’s okay,” he coos. “This doesn’t have to be our only baby. We can have as many as you want so you can have your belly.”

She laughs as another contraction hits. Her smile drops. “Where is the epidural?” she groans. “This hurts so much. God.”

Almost as if she was heard, a nurse comes walking into the room with a needle. The needle is the worst part but as soon as the epidural is administered, she feels so much better.

“Sorry it took me so long to get here,” John says when things have settled down. “Nico told me that you called and immediately ran out of the locker room without my stuff so I could be here. He wanted to drive me but I couldn’t ask him to do that. He still had to be interviewed and clean out his stuff. I was done being interviewed and was told I could go back in a few days to get my things. I needed to be here with you.”

She nods and looks at him. “You’re here,” she says. “That is all I wanted. Our daughter should have her father here.”

John presses a soft kiss to her cheek. “Absolutely.”

Nearly fourteen hours later at two in the morning, Taylor Marie Marino is born. Eight pounds, four ounces. She is exhausted and her vagina hurts after pushing out a whole human.

Baby Taylor cries in her arms and she cries as she looks at her daughter in her arms. John stands next to the bed and rests his hand on Taylor’s head. “Congratulations, mom and dad,” the doctor says to them. “She’s beautiful.”

“Looks just like her mom,” John says. She looks up at him and pouts. “Her mom is so strong and beautiful.”

She shakes her head and leans against John. “Shut up,” she laughs. “Don’t suck up to me now because I went through almost fifteen hours of labor because of you.”

“It was a joint effort, baby,” John replies.

“Maybe one will be okay for us,” she tells him. “Not sure if I could do this again. I don’t think I can push another watermelon out of my vagina.”

The nurse takes Taylor from them with a laugh. “Get some rest, momma,” she says. “You did good. Now you deserve a good rest.”

So she does. It’s going to be the last good rest she’ll get for a few years, or 18.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

【 May 24th, 2024 】

It’s been a beautiful and chaotic month since they went home with Taylor, but they finally have a system. Every other night, she gets up with Tay. John still takes most nights though.

Tonight, she gets up with a crying Taylor.

She grabs the newborn out of her bassinet and heads into the living room. “What’s wrong, my love?” she asks softly. “Hungry? Do you need to eat?” She glances at the time and sees that it’s about time. “Yeah. Let’s get you fed.”

So she gets comfortable on the couch and gives Taylor one of her breasts. She sucks gently and leans back to relax.

Minutes later, Taylor moves. She isn’t moving. John is taking her out of his arms. “Did I fall asleep?” she asks.

“Yeah, it’s okay,” she tells her. “I got her. Go back to sleep. It’s obvious you need it.”

She shakes her head and follows John and Taylor to their daughter’s room. He lays her back down and puts on the white noise machine. They stand and look at their baby.

“We did good,” John says. “We’re doing good.”

“Maybe I do want another one,” she comments. “After we get married though.”

“Of course.”

They look at each other. John smiles and says, “I love you.”

“I love you,” she replies. “Both of you.”

“My girls.”

༺═──────────────═༻

MASTERLIST

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[amaltheas-garden]

This snip from S7 script

"Jon has truly never seen a girl like this before. Her beauty, her strength, her grief and the pain in makes him feel... they all push him to the realization that he loves her

What do you think D&D were thinking when they were writing this? Did George give them the notes about jonerys falling in love or he told them Jon and Dany will have an affair and D&D took that to mean it's love? In the books, most are convinced there will be a marriage for love between them but we never got that in the show. Why would D&D not have them marry if it's such an important mileage in their relationship? All we got was the "parallel' with R and L but that's actually not a parallel because we were shown RL getting married.

I'll preface this by saying I haven't watched any season in full past 3, so most of what I know of the later seasons comes from yt clips and posts on here.

This is going to be in three sections:

Why did J/D not marry in the show?

Why J/D won't marry in the books

Why J/S could happen in the books despite not happening in the show

1: On the first point, idk what d&d were going for, and I absolutely have no clue what grrm told them regarding Jon and Dany's relationship.

The main point of contention seems to be in reconciling the J/D romance and Dany's death, with a large portion of the book fanbase expecting a J/D romance and marriage. I know it's an unpopular opinion, but I just don't think Jon and Dany will be the main love story of the next books. Regardless, the short answer to 'why did d&d not have J/D romance end in marriage if it's an important milestone in the books' is that they won't get married in the books either.

2: As far as using the show as an indicator for the books, I'd say focus on where characters end up, not how they get there. For instance, Sansa and Theon got completely butchered because d&d saw an easy way of cutting corners. They knew they needed a Theon pov to know what was going on w/ Ramsay and Winterfell, and knew Sansa had to go from pawn to player and meet Jon at the Wall for the eventual retaking of Winterfell. So, they thought instead of doing separate Theon-Sansa storylines with a few girl-in-grey red herrings and spending money on a tourney scene and boring Vale politics, lets just skip over the Vale stuff, have Sansa be Jeyne and kill two birds with one stone! With Arya, they sent her off to Braavos to become a badass, cut out the thematically important Stoneheart stuff, and then just shuffle her back to Winterfell. And Bran, the worst offender of the bunch, is practically cut from the show before being brought back to be king. That's all the evidence you need to know D&D only cared about taking the shortest, simplest route possible to (grrm's) predetermined endpoints. (I might have one-sided beef with brando sando, but d&d reallyyy could have benefited from hearing Journey BEFORE Destination!)

I'd also point out that book-show personalities are different: Sansa is still a young girl desperately trying to still cling to hope and belief in goodness and kindness like the heroes in her stories, Arya is a traumatized child who just wants to go back home while also trying to balance her desire to protect innocents and take revenge against those who wronged her family, Bran had all his dreams taken by one man's actions and now has to find his place in the world, and Jon was intended to be the subversion of the classic fantasy-hero archetype. But in the show, Sansa is an ice queen, Arya is badass sword girl, Bran is there, and Jon is a dumb stereotypical hero. Show Jon just doesn't behave in a way book!Jon would, so I'd expect a lot more complexity in book!J/D's relationship than straightforward romance. Point being, D&D are fine having characters end up where grrm told them to put them, they just don't care for the getting there part (also known as a story). If J/D was supposed to be a romance ending in marriage, they would have done that. Jon lives, Dany dies, Sansa rules the North, Bran becomes king, Arya continues her adventures are the points we should take away from the final seasons. The journey of how we get there is something we'll only find out when grrm publishes the books 🤡.

3: And because this is a filthy Jonsa blog, and I must connect everything back to it:

Some (most) of this is going to contradict what I just said, but bear with me. Dany's death was clearly meant to be the big shock twist of the show. The main criticism of her arc was that it came out of nowhere and was underdeveloped. D&D had to accomplish three things: J/D meet, Dany dies, and the audience doesn't see it coming. Easiest way to do that is have J/D romance, tease a possible marriage to unite the North with Dany, then have a half assed rug pull where she goes coo coo for cocoa puffs and her former lover stabs her. Regardless of the sincerity of the feelings, a romance subplot was the easiest way to insert melodrama, Stark infighting, and make the audience believe there could be a happy ending between the two. Was it done well? no. But could I see what they were trying to do? yeah.

So how would book Jonsa come into play and why would D&D ignore that element? Simply put, if Jonsa happens, it would have started developing in S6, and if Jon knows he feels for Sansa in *that* way, it makes the idea of Jon going team Dany less likely, and in turn makes the audience more suspicious of Jon's true motives. This will be even worse in the books, seeing as Jon will have (hopefully) developed a closer relationship w/ Sansa, got his beloved baby sister back, and the last of his half-brothers. The close sibling bonds keeping him allied with House Stark means Dany's main in with Jon so to speak would be through a romantic relationship, and if that place is already occupied by yet another Stark, it becomes pretty obvious that Jon will never fully be on her side. This is a problem, because we pretty much know the Starks are supposed to come out on top, so being in conflict with them isn't a good sign for Dany's endgame. Making Jon and Sansa's relationship platonic/familial instead of romantic makes a happy J/D endgame feel more likely to the audience/ makes her villain turn & death less obvious.

Grrm is a self-proclaimed romantic at heart, and I find it very hard to believe we won't get a sincere romance involving his favorite Byronic hero. This is pure speculation on my part, but I tend to think Jon will entertain a marriage with Dany as a way of securing the Starks' safety/ making peace between Dany and the North in a very obvious act of Duty over Love. Having those good ol' forbidden feelings develop between Jon and Sansa in Winds, being separated by Jon's decision to enter a politically advantageous relationship w/ Dany only to discover they're cousins and could have been together adds a nice dimension to the Starks v. Dany conflict. And Dany dying in the end means Jon has the choice to choose a love marriage over duty. But if we assume (and I'm aware it's a BIG assumption), that Jonsa is a book possibility, then the romantic aspect was played down in the show to make Jon's betrayal of Dany less obvious and preserve the shock value of her death. And at that point, they couldn't really end the show with a Jonsa marriage because there was no basis for it (not that that stopped them from doing King Bran I guess but whatever... a girl can dream). If I were to make a snide comment on the ending, GoT did like doing surface level girlboss moments, so Sansa ending up as a solo queen instead of a sappy Aragorn-Arwen love story was consistent with their other character decisions. (I honestly do love Sansa's coronation scene and there are some good metas on Sansa-Elizabeth I, so I don't want to dismiss that possibility entirely, I just think D&D's track record of throwing Arya/Sansa/Dany into the same stoic/badass stock character blender might've influenced their choice to downplay Sansa's possible romantic storyline despite it being a central theme in the books).

Just to summarize, Jon and Dany didn't get married in the show because they won't get married in the books, the book relationship will be much more complicated than the show version, and D&D's character writing in terms of their internal journey doesn't matter that much since they overtly changed character personalities from the books, and only care about characters getting where they need to go regardless of how it comes about. Assuming book Jonsa happens, this subplot was abandoned to prioritize shock value and keep audiences guessing who would win till the literal last episode. And because of the scrapping of a romantic relationship between the two, their respective endings were modified.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Ok crock pot anon here one more time (I definitely sent you a third one last night and completely forgot to say it was me, I was so damn excited, apologies). Now that I can rewatch on Hulu today, I can…. watch this scene 8x in a row! Lol. So- perfect barbacoa in 8 hours, eh? 8 hours = 8 seasons? Except Buck is saying heyyyy no, it can be done a little early! "Recipes are just a guideline" and "to Helena Diaz, they're gospel" I am side-eyeing you SO HARD. "First family dinner in the new house. It better be fork tender." "Slow cooker is never wrong!" I am lOsInG mY aCtUaL mInD. And, AND. Helena doesn't even eat any, which, first of all, why, it's probably amazing, but second, she grabs quick, easy takeout, the easy way out!!! The relationship metaphors!!!! Doing things the quick easy way versus slow cooking a relationship (romantic or parent-child), dkjfksdja;s

Hey crock pot anon

I always love seeing you've popped back into my inbox - I assumed the flailing kermit was you - which is why I added the same gif to my last reply keep being excited - I'm loving it and I am also very excited about it 😎

rewatching to pick up all the goodies we missed is always so much fun isn't it - I've been at the Cricket all day - rewatching on my laptop as the game was going on - thats how I ended up down a chess spiral, but anyway yes yes yes to the 8 hours = 8 seasons - and I just answered another ask about the 11 minutes to go of the 8 hours - so 11 minutes before the end of season 8. I've also got another couple of asks that have come into my inbox as I was writing this reply talking about fractions and how that therefore means episode 14 or 15 depending on which way you round the numbers, so perhaps we'll be lucky and that will be the moment of Buddie canon!

The Helena v Buck of recipes is endlessly fascinating to me - Helena stuck in heteronormativity while Buck has started experimenting with recipes and making them his own - his 3 tries to get the lasagne right and his baking experiments - in the same way he is now exploring his sexuality. Hell, if you think about it he tried twice/ three times with tommy - depending on what one counts as a 'try' and if it was the third time that it was right or if it took 3 attempts and the fourth one was the right one - either way on both fronts - it implies that the next time he's going to get it right - as in with Eddie!

the first family dinner in the new house it better be fork tender really is making me feel a bit feral - the potential foreshadowing of a first family dinner in a new Buckley- Diaz family home and it being a dinner full of tenderness 🥹🫠🥰 I will be a puddle!

the 'Slow cooker is never wrong' line literally made me gasp and cackle - slow burns are never wrong - they are always the best love stories - this slow burn rollercoaster we've been on for the last 84 years is not wrong - we buddies are not wrong - just like that slow cooker! I love it here 🥰🤡🌈

Helena only eating the take out - not even trying what Eddie had lovingly made - and the face she pulled when she lifted the lid on the slow cooker - she did not like it and wasn't impressed - its making me think we might be getting a homophobic Helena to some degree in our future - you know just to add to her other really great qualities!!!

and yes yes yes to your last line 'Doing things the quick easy way versus slow cooking a relationship (romantic or parent-child)' - that is the crux of it isnt it - slow burns take time but they are infinitely better (nutritionally and taste wise) than a takeout meal alternative - slow burns are made with love and will leave you feeling content and satisfied, while the easy take out option contains little to no love and will leave you feeling either over full and uncomfortable or disappointed and hungry 5 minutes later!

all roads (crock pots, colour theory, chess, ballroom dancing, couches etc) lead to Buddie canon and I feel insane about it! feel free to spiral in my inbox about crockpots (or anything else) whenever you like 💜💜💜

[helen-dale]

(my main blog is @elialys, currently using this sideblog to post my newsreader feels/gifs because tumblr shadowbanned me on sunday for sending s3 to people 💀 anyway, this post was written a few days ago)

~~~~

I took notes on my immediate feelings after watching each episode of season 3 of The Newsreader, it’s helped with the “AAAAAAH” emotions that binging such an intense show cause, plus I figured quite a few of you might share my feels. It’s mostly me screaming, and it’s a tad disjointed as you can imagine, but blame the show for breaking my brain.

SPOILERS UNDER THE READ MORE!!

3.01 Night of Nights

I’ve honestly watched the first two seasons so many times in the past year that I forgot all about that HEAVY DREAD FEELING NEW EPISODES OF THIS SHOW MAKE ME FEEL. And I’m guessing it’s not going to get any better as the season progresses 😭 They truly are so good at creating the scenes with high energy, feeling so IMMEDIATE, and Helen’s anxiety never fails to trigger mine, so 🥲

Speaking of Helen, I’m going to need to rewatch the season a second time fairly fast because as always whenever I watch something new with Anna, I am too busy thinking “SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL” in a loop to pay attention to most of what she’s saying. But she is, I absolutely LOVE the new look in season 3, the shorter hair is perfect, her logie look was gorgeous, she looked so beautiful, and then she looked even better at the end when she was all casual at her house, in jeans and with barely any make up ❤️ ANYWAY, that’s my initial, mandatory gushing about the “Anna is gorgeous” aspect of things.

This episode was a whirlwind honestly, so many things to take in already, many many emotions were felt. I love how they are setting up the pieces for the rest of the season, the way they always do. I already want to slap Rob and protect Noelene at all costs from all those men. Lindsay needs to DIE ALREADY, I swear to god if he’s not run over by a bus by the end of this show 😡

Okay let me gush over Helen a bit more substantially. I love how FAST she was hit in the face by the reality of being back in Australia, with all the network bullshit. This poor woman has so much fucking trauma associated with this industry and the way they treated her, even at the height of her career, being offered this prime time show, she still doubts herself and the legitimacy of it. The way her anxiety took over, her fighting it, I know these are just the first cracks of the season 😭 PLEASE let our girl get a proper diagnosis and proper help by the end of this I BEG YOU SHOW. Needless to say I still absolutely adore the way Anna portrays her, always saying so much in all those moments she has zero lines of dialogue.

Dale. Dale Dale Dale. DALE IS DEAD INSIDE. Him saying he felt NOTHING standing there receiving his award? Him clearly being dead inside while having a man stripping in front of him, at his request? MY SWEET WET NOODLE, WHERE IS YOUR SOUL? I love the fact that I *know* they’re setting him up to being BROKEN this season, and I cannot wait. BREAK HIM. LET HIM FEEL THINGS AGAIN. I AM READY TO HURT WITH HIM.

Serious talk though, THE HELEN x DALE CONTENT IN THIS EPISODE???? 😭😭😭😭 Minute one in the restaurant, you can tell the love is still there. Minute two you can also tell they’re still shit at communicating so hahaha joke is on us as much as on them. Helen saying he was her only non-disaster yet they were pretty disastrous and him just…“I don’t think we were” DALE MY MAN YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME.

Don’t get me started on Helen losing her shit at the logies realizing she was going to “betray” Dale. Her trying NOT TO SAY IT. DALE’S SPEECH 30 SECONDS LATER THANKING HELEN FOR SEEING THE NEWSREADER IN HIM????? 😭😭😭

You know last year I loved talking about how Noelene and Rob’s relationship acted as a foil to Helen and Dale’s (as did Gerry and Carla’s), with them actually talking things through when Helen and Dale did not. This episode was another beautiful example of this, with the focus being put on Noelene being (RIGHTFULLY) upset that Rob just threw the “oh, and my wife” line in his speech when she fucking produced that show, and HERE IS DALE JENNINGS, on stage, thanking Helen for seeing him and making this possible for him, WHEN THEY ARE BROKEN UP AND ESTRANGED.

ALSO, talking of parallels, the hotel scene KILLED ME. I believe it was a VERY DELIBERATED CHOICE by Emma to frame Dale and that man the way she did, because that’s basically how Dale and Helen were framed in that hotel scene at the end of 2x01.

And Helen hoping so hard that they can remain “friends” despite the competition, when everything on Dale’s face tells you “naaaaah not gonna happen” but he smiles his empty smile and says “yeaaah sure” 😭 HE’S GONNA TAPE ALL OF HER SHOWS THOUGH BECAUSE HE’S DALE.

Anyway so much more to say, but I still want to watch another episode before attempting sleep, I need to find myself a paper bag to breathe in.

(just realized I didn’t mention the Dale and Kay thing once, but I think that says a lot in itself, no offence to Kay but NO THANK YOU)

(((Also, I hate the wig. I hate it so much)))

3.02 A New Era

(This ended up being me live commenting this episode because I kept getting so anxious/upset that I had to take breaks)

“Human conversations are not this boy’s strong suit” Lindsay, I hate you, but this does describe Dale a little too well.

Evelyn butting in and listening in to her daughter’s phone conversation with Dale is such an Evelyn thing to do. Also, look, I am aware that Kay and Dale are unsubstantial at this stage of the show and they’re only doing this to get us riled up, but guess what? IT IS WORKING.

Currently taking a pause from the episode because Lindsay is being a fucking ass and trying to feed Helen’s team fake news for her to read on her first show is STRESSING ME OUT I CANNOT DO THIS.

Ugh, the “HELEN’S MENTAL HEALTH” MUSICAL THEME KICKING OFF IN THE BACKGROUND FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS SEASON I AM NOT READY.

Aaaand indeed, I was not ready, crying actual tears at Helen losing her shit at work in front of everyone, this is going to be a long season I AM FINE 😭

GUYS EVERYONE IS SCREAMING IN THIS EPISODE WHAT THE HELL I LOVE IT BUT I CAN’T TAKE IT

God Vincent’s comment about how she’s the first woman on a prime time show and we “can’t even see her tits” I want to kill all those men I SWEAR TO GOD

I am dying inside at the PARALLELS of Helen and Dale watching a tape of Helen’s first show, which was shit, while Dale kicked ass, like THIS IS HOW THE SHOW STARTED BUT WITH THEIR PLACES SWITCHED.

I keep having to pause this episode, I’m so upset at Helen being told off by her new boss for having mental health issues that interfere with her work, I clearly did not buy enough tissues for this season. I mean, it HAS to be addressed, she does have to seek PROPER help, but the way it’s just…thrown at her, always, it’s too real and heartbreaking. THE PATRONIZING!!!

Not gonna lie, kinda loving the fact that Dale is learning to assert himself with his man friend he pays for sex and that he’s learning to use those skills with Lindsay. Somehow it’s unsettling and awkward and very Dale and I’m thriving.

I wanted to talk a little about Noelene and baby Hana (and Rob lol) because CONGRATS NOELENE, but right now I’m too busy ugly crying over that scene of Helen admitting to the psychiatrist that she’s been struggling her whole life. Oh this punched me in the GUTS.

That’s my cue to take a break and get some sleep, dear lord, my own mental health is not equipped for this.

~~

Alright, back at at it after less than 5h of sleep, I don’t foresee myself crying less. I’ve been thinking about the first couple episodes over and over, and I’ve realized the start of this season feels skewed. And a big part of it is because of Dale.

In those first two episodes, Helen is more alive than ever, full of emotions that overwhelm her, and you FEEL for her. Usually, I feel that for Dale, too, with his big wet eyes and the constant panic in 2/3 of the scenes he’s in. But so far this season? I feel nothing, except concern for him. He’s just empty, he’s pretending with everyone, at work, with Kay, with Helen. He’s struggling to be in control in any way he can, paying for what I can’t really describe as intimacy, since he’s using those moments to try asserting any kind of control.

Plus, he’s got a terrible wig, but I’m aware that’s mostly me overfixating on it.

I also know something’s gotta give. I’m suspecting episode 3 will do that, one way or another.

It's 6am, let’s gooooo

3.03 Behind the Front Line

HOLY HELL, this episode came for me!!! My favorite one of the season so far, shockingly I know haha, with it containing Helen’s long awaited diagnosis and that famous improv scene at her house.

Let me say it again: HOLY HELL 😭😭😭

I seriously love the way they handled Helen learning what her diagnosis is, from her figuring it out on her own by doing research, to her losing her shit as a result of her psychiatrist confirming it. I’ve figured it was borderline personality disorder a long time ago when I first watched the show and did research before starting to write fanfic about her, because I wanted to understand her better and be mindful in the way I wrote her, and like her doctor said, she ticked so many of those boxes.

Don’t get me started on how Dale reassures her with “All I see is you” to counter her saying he must have seen it, must have known. He’s not brushing off or denying the messiest parts of her, he’s acknowledging them, basically saying it’s always been part of her, and he’s loved her as she was and as she is. Beautiful, beautiful scene, Anna’s acting was insane, absolutely insane, cannot wait to rewatch it in a loop until every frame is carved in my neurodivergent brain.

I am so worried for my boy Dale though, he’s so fucking dead inside. Still practicing sounding normal in front of mirrors, like the beautiful neurospicy human that he is. Helen being surprised that he’s throwing himself a birthday party and him being literally “it’s a social event, it’s a normal thing to do” DALE MY LOVE YOU ARE ALLOWED NOT TO FIT IN.

I do not trust whatever is going on between him and Kay. I don’t understand how anyone can fall for Dale *right now*. Like I get why both Helen and Tim were swooning over Dale in s1 because he was so squishy and nerdy and sweet and full of tears, but THIS Dale Kay is interacting with? HE’S A SHELL OF A HUMAN BEING. He’s just as much of a lifeless husk on the desk as he is away from it and IT HURTS MY SOUL. So yeah, Kay saying “I love the way you make me feel” I’m just??? Also, the fact that she keeps comparing him to her dad, haha. Anyway, I don’t sense this ‘relationship’ going anywhere healthy given the state of things.

Also, LINDSAY???? He didn’t actually give Noelene her maternity leave, at all???? Being a fucking racist???? Crashing the party and having a temper tantrum???? I am not surprised by any of this but god this man deserves a heart attack or a stroke for fuck’s sake.

Noelene is absolutely fabulous, LOVE the way she just said fuck it and gave the story to Helen, then JOINED Helen, like YES QUEEEEEEENS.

I have no idea what to expect for the second half of the season, although I suspect since the first half was more about Helen’s mental health and job, the second half will focus more on Dale’s mental health and job, as in, I’m waiting for him to break. Guessing the 6th and final episode titled “The Fall” might feature a bit of that. Our boy is drinking a lot. Like, A LOT.

3.04 One Team, All Brothers

Ugh. UGH.

I always loved how this show handles complex topics, and this episode was as strong as ever. I’m GLAD Rob’s attitude toward racism was brought to light, Noelene absolutely killed it. Rob’s scene with Deano…man 😭

Equally loved Helen’s journey through this episode, how she’s trying to help but as always she’s confronted to people around her not wanting to stir the pot, and how in the end, she is just another “white woman” because, well, she is. LYNUS THOUGH, so so glad to have more of him, he’s so wonderful ❤️

I am so so in love with the way they show Helen working so hard on not losing it at work, using strategies and calling her therapist like, I can’t remember seeing this side of mental health portrayed on tv like this before, it is so validating. And watching it WORK, watching how it allows her to ground herself. And sure it might not always work, but at least she’s being given the tools to handle those overwhelming emotions, and I’m so proud of her.

Talking of in love, I did not see the “I’m in love with you” from Bill thing coming, but I am here for the drama. I don’t even blame this man, he spent months with her overseas where she was clearly thriving, he got to see the best side of her, and yeah, we’ve all been there, Bill. Curious to see how that’s going to impact the next two episodes because talk about awkward, he’s executive producer 💀

NERVOUS about the Kay and Dale thing. They make me uncomfortable, as stated in my previous comments for episode 3, this is not love, this is them using each other for very different reasons. Nervous about Dale’s escort not being as discreet in the future as Dale hopes he’ll be. Also, EVELYN?? I get that she’s “looking out for her daughter” but what a fucking bitch, as Helen would say.

Also I just gotta say, that bit at the start, with Helen and Dale watching those parodies of themselves :’)) How Helen is just finding it all so hilarious, including the parody of her (which is so funny honestly), while Dale is just…well, dead inside, BECAUSE THAT IS JUST DALE’S DEFAULT MODE THIS SEASON.

God I do hope we start seeing him crack soon, I am so desperate for some EMOTIONS FROM HIM. And I gotta say, this show as always is great at surprising me. 4 episodes out of 6, and so far, none of the ‘ugly competition’ between Helen and Dale I was expecting/fearing from the promo and season synopsis. Yes their shows are against one another, timewise, and yes, there’s competition between networks, but it’s like, in the background, and it’s not seemed to have impacted whatever version of ‘friendship’ they both have at the moment. I put ‘friendship’ in quotes because well, see my “DALE IS DEAD INSIDE” comments. This poor man is just existing right now.

I’m wondering if Helen is so focused on her show and working on herself (as she should ❤️) and just happy that Dale is still part of her life in some capacity, that she’s not yet gone “hey honey, you look and sound a little like a fucking zombie, let’s talk about this”. I’m also thinking, between their schedules and him dating Kay, they don’t actually see each other that often, and never for long. I’m just…I want someone to ACKNOWLEDGE that Dale is not doing well, and I would 1000% appreciate it most if it was Helen 😭

3.05 On the Brink

There is something incredibly sad in the fact that Helen’s comments on air, about how shame and isolation are what makes having mental health issues so unbearable, are being said on a show that takes place in 1989, yet are still extremely relevant to this day, 35 years later. There has been great progress, but not enough. It’s 2025 and struggling with anxiety or depression, or anything of the sort, is STILL so misunderstood by most people, still hush hush.

That being said, I am so incredibly moved, so so grateful, that the show has chosen to bring so much light on mental health through Helen. I’m going to need to process everything in this episode but that was beautifully cathartic, can’t quite talk about it properly yet.

Also, absolutely heartbroken about Dale completely spiraling, between the drinking and the drugs, while being fucking blackmailed. The final episode clearly is called “The Fall” for a very good reason 😭 A little terrified to watch it, as it will be THE END, so I’m going to make myself some lunch instead. But given how beautifully they’ve handled Helen’s story in those last 5 episodes, I absolutely trust that they put just as much care in Dale’s breaking point. I also trust the fact that in the past, whenever one of them broke, the other was there to catch them. And I cannot wait for that.

One last thing about this episode, I feel like Helen turning down Bill is another proof of the progress she’s made. She has a fear of abandonment, she latches on to people who are showing her the slightest bit of love, of attention, even when it’s the toxic kind, and she’s not been shy about seeking pleasure. And here you have this man who’s telling her he loves her, who’s her boss (another pattern in her previous lifestyle), and she says no.

I am so proud of her 😭

3.06 The Fall

This was so fucking hard to watch. The first part of it with Dale’s breakdown, absolutely heartbreaking, I was literally clutching at my face and hiding my eyes at times. The self-loathing was difficult to WATCH, I just…Sam Reid, what the fuck, his performance. It WAS like watching a trainwreck in real time. The part with him hitting himself, and listening to those awful audience comments over and over and over again 😭 This man was in so much pain, and SO touch-starved, needing real connection but not finding it 😭

It did bother me that they made the plot decision to just....let Dale sit on that desk, CLEARLY DRUNK and looking the way he did, when a few episodes ago, Helen was sent home straight away when she tried doing her show while drunk/high. If they couldn’t keep him off the desk at least don’t go live and put the “technical issues” screen on, and DON’T LEAVE HIM ON AIR FOR SO LONG.

God Lindsay really is a fucking villain, him looming over Dale, just…the psychological abuse was so so hard to watch.

He didn’t just deserve to be sacked, HE DESERVED TO BE RUN OVER BY A BUS. That being said I’m extremely glad the show ended with him gone, and Dennis stepping in.

Ugh I absolutely love Noelene telling Helen exactly what she thinks. Not only did she stand up for herself, she also gave Helen the last push she needed to call the shots for HER show.

The image of her being the lone woman at that table full of men once again berating her, was so damn powerful, ESPECIALLY the way she just let them have their trantrum, only to calmly tell them “No” and step away like, QUEEN.

Oh and Helen's "I'm not gonna be punished because I didn't want to fuck you" to Bill?

The Helen x Dale content was so scarce this season, but I don’t actually mind it? Like, the shipper in me mourns the fact that we didn’t get more and will never get more, but I’m a fic writer, I’ll make more 😏 I am 150% happy with the fact that they focused so much more on Helen’s journey through taking care of her mental health, and Dale stepping away from this toxic, TOXIC environment.

Also all the call backs to season 1 guys, I cannot 😭 Her ‘rescuing’ him, the dialogue being almost exactly the same from the pilot 😭😭😭 Not gonna lie the fact that it’s basically how I started my own “helen x dale post s2 fix it fic” over a year ago gives me warm feelings. Also, I am terrible person for thinking this but when Dale told his mum that what was in the paper was true (about him being with men) and he said “I love you, I hope you can still love me” and she said NOTHING? I thought “well I’m not so sorry I killed you off in my fic now” because?!!! 🙃 I’m sure she’ll come around and everything, she STAYED with him, but it's still a gut punch compared to Helen’s “I love you just the way you are” in season 1 after he told her the truth.

Honestly, I didn’t know what kind of ending I wanted for these two as a pair, except that this is what I was hoping for, since I figured there wouldn’t me any romantic ending. Them CLEARLY in each other’s lives, clearly better when they have each other, with me free to imagine that when Dale comes home from Germany, he smooches the hell out of Helen and they get acquainted with her couch again :’))

(you know she's thinking about that couch)

(can we blame her? LOOK AT HIM)

I’m going to need to rewatch this season at least once or twice in the next week to really take it all in. I am so sad that it’s over, overwhelmed with so many emotions after taking it all in so fast, but also very content. I feel they wrapped everyone’s storyline beautifully, and left us on a GOOD, positive note, full of hope.

And again, so beyond grateful for how truly Helen focused this last season was.

God that was so beautiful.

[bangaveragewhitewine]

maybe it ain't so bad

Bouncer!Eddie Munson x Bartender!Reader (established relationship) - Part of Happy Hours

Your boyfriend doesn’t like Christmas much. Inside his huge soft heart, he carries the memories of Christmases good and bad. After this year, the first Christmas you will actually get to spend together, he might feel a little warmer towards the Holidays…

Word Count 4.4k

Contents / Warnings | 18+ | Eddie & Reader are in their mid/late twenties | Loss of a parent, mention of child neglect and abuse | No explicit sex, nonetheless this is an 18+ fic - making out on the sofa, brief choking mention, Eddie’s love of hickies, being horny and in love, mentions of sex and post-sex softness, ‘slut’ as a term of endearment | No physical descriptions of reader; the image used in the header is not indicative of Bartender Reader in this series

Note I missed our metalhead bouncer boyfriend. I tried and tried not to make this sad or angsty. A quick moment to say thank you for all the love over the last sixish months while I have been writing and sharing my work. It’s a joy, truly! Have a cosy holiday season, sweet angels!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Christmas, 1992 

Eddie Munson didn’t care for Christmas.

A long time had passed since the last Christmas with his Mom, but each year the scabbed-over wound inside him tore and stung and bled just a little more around the Holidays. 

It might be more accurate to say then that Eddie Munson did not let himself care for Christmas. It hurt him to care about it, to remember the good ones and the bad ones with his mother, so he tried to just not care. 

When he closed his eyes, he could still see the coloured string lights wound around the shitty plastic tree, glinting against baubles that had seen better days. He could feel her hands holding his much smaller ones as they danced together to Christmas records, the way she held him safe and steady to place the star on top of the tree. The shininess of it all had pulled his attention from her pilled and threadbare sweaters and the bruise-like bags beneath her eyes. The festive earworms drowned out her tearful phone calls to her parents for some extra cash to make sure Eddie would have a present from Santa beneath the tree this year, and her promises that her no-good-husband would see a penny of it.

As he watches you hanging shiny-and-new decorations on the branches of the small fir in the corner of your shared living room, humming to music only you could hear, he could not help but think of her. It hurt, but the smile that spread across your face when you caught him watching soothed his soul just a little bit.

“Hi, handsome.” 

Your voice and that cosy greeting, the eye-sparkling smile you wear when he comes home to you, feels like stepping into a warm bath every single time. It’s a hug before you even open your arms to him.

You watch him unwind his scarf and shake out his frosted curls once his jacket has been hung on its peg. His boots are slipped off and left to pick up later. 

“How’d it go?”

Eddie stares at the shiny ornament hanging between your fingers on gold thread, lost somewhere in his head or hypnotised by the way it caught the light until you call his name again. 

“Sorry, yeah. Went good. You’ve been busy…”

While Eddie was teaching his last guitar lesson before the Holidays, you had draped the tree with shiny bright lights and made a start on the baubles, hanging them extra-slowly in the hope that your boyfriend might want to help when he got home. Neither of you had work tonight, scheduled off synchronously as a little reward for working Christmas Eve.

“You wanna help?” you ask, a glimmer of hope in your eyes, even as you readied yourself for rejection.

You knew his feelings about Christmas - not just his capitalist hellscape rant that came out whenever someone asked if he was looking forward to the holidays, but you knew the deep emotional pain he carried as another year passed without her. Every year the taste of her cinnamon-spiced sugar cookies and the scent of her perfume, that special Mom Smell, faded more in his memories.

For the first Christmas you would actually spend together as a couple, you wanted it to be special and cosy. You wanted Eddie to feel comfortable and safe, not like a prisoner bound in tinsel as you forced him to watch Miracle on 34th Street or How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (though he did have a soft spot for the green guy). A lazy few days cocooned in your apartment, a nice no-fuss dinner and quality time together. It helped too that you could pick up the Christmas Eve shift in the bar instead of travelling out of the state to sit at home with your families and miss each other, count the days until you hopped back on the plane to O’Hare, and pray that Eddie would drive safe on the icy roads around Hawkins. 

The decorations had been a compromise; Eddie never usually bothered and you liked to spend at least half a day making your home look like a festive explosion. A deal had been made on a small tree with a few lights.

You looked at that tree now, its small and slightly wonky stature had charmed you. Eddie’s staring at it too and you can see a glimpse of the broken boy Eddie once was; it makes your heart hurt. 

“Is it too much? I can stop…” Your voice is quiet.

Eddie shakes his head and plasters on a smile for you that makes your chest ache, before rounding the sofa on socked feet to press a kiss to your head and squeeze you around the middle.

His nose is cold from being outside. That fresh scent of bright winter air clings to him and slowly melts away inside the warm flat you share. 

“Looks great.” Eddie picks up a random red bauble. “Where does this one go?”

“Wherever you want it to go. Just look for the bare spots.” 

You tamp down any fizzing excitement that he’s taking an interest, then feel guilty that you are thinking of him like he’s a wild animal who is easily spooked. 

Eddie brings you back to reality, just like always.

“You gonna move it later when I’m not looking?” he asks, brows raising beneath his bangs as you loop your ornament on a branch. 

That ‘I know you too well for your cute lies, babe’ look he gave you made your cheeks feel warm. It was close to his ‘you’re pushin’ it and you’re being a brat on purpose’ look. That one was fun.

“Only if it’s too close to another red.”

He had seen you and Michelle in full-festive-flight when you decorated the bar every year; every year he braved the cold of the beer cellar or the back alley to stay well out of your way lest he be roped into a squabble on the placement of some stupid garland. 

Not fully convinced, Eddie zeroes in a bare spot (not too near to another red ball) and slips it over the branch with less practiced precision. It’s perfect.

You lean over to smack a kiss on your boyfriend’s cheek. “You’re a natural, Teddy.” 

His arm slips and winds around your waist, squeezing the squish of your hips before he presses his lips to your head. “Do I get a reward?” 

Eddie’s touch and the low timbre of his voice stoke the cosy glow in your body into something more fiery and exciting. His fingers skate along the waistband of your sweatpants, tracing up beneath your (his) hoodie. He knows exactly what he’s doing. 

Two can play that game.

“For one little bauble? I’m not that easy, Munson.” 

It pains you to pull yourself away but the warmth and hunger in his gaze feeds your ego and the flame in your gut. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing, I need you to show me.” His fingers reach out to grab the empty space between you. 

Your eyes roll as you crouch to pick up two more baubles.

“Gimme a kiss for every decoration I put on then?” Eddie suggested, “I’ll keep tally.”

A slow smile makes its way onto your face and you nod. “That could be arranged. Don’t half-ass it though, they’ll fall off if they’re not on properly.” Your eyes narrow in warning, “I’ll bite you instead of kiss you if you half-ass it.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, honey,” Eddie smirks and takes both baubles from you - one gold, one pink - and hangs them on his fingers, strategically dangling them right over his nipples. He gets the exact reaction he was hoping for - an eye-roll and that smile you do when you try not to laugh at his silliness. That smile that had made him fall for you.

“And you know my motto - full ass or no ass at all. No half-assin’ around here.” 

Before you can make a smart comment about his flat ass, Eddie takes his time to thoughtfully hang the ornaments in two bare spots and surveys his work with a quietly-pleased hum. You could imagine what he was like as a kid, bargaining for an extra cookie once the tree was decorated, or an extra bedtime story. You didn’t hang any more decorations in favour of watching him work for a few moments, the colourful glow of the lights on his pale skin. 

He catches you staring and softens, winks at you as he picks two more baubles up. One for you, one for him. 

After passing the gold string between your fingers, you press a bonus-kiss to Eddie’s lips before finishing off your first tree together. Neither of you acknowledges with words how special it is, but it’s there. You squabble playfully when you get in each other’s way or when Eddie slaps your ass while he’s reaching for the snowman ornament you have had since you were a kid. 

You had accumulated a little collection of retro Christmas decorations in thrift shops over the years - pretty vintage baubles and kitschy ornaments, a few random or weird tchotchkes. A purchase from last year - a glittery skull wearing a Santa hat - earned instant approval from Eddie and pride of place on the tree. That one had caught your eye a few months after you two had started dating.

When the box of ornaments runs out, you take a step back and pull Eddie’s arm to join you. 

“You like it?” Your voice is quiet and careful as your cheek rests against the softness his sweater.

“Pretty,” Eddie says, just as quiet. His arms wind around you and hold you against his chest, starting a slow rock from foot to foot.

“Can I give you something?” you ask, voice muffled against his chest.

Eddie’s brows shoot up, a flirty look in his eyes. “Oh? You can give me whatever you want, babydoll.”

That wolfish grin of his still made you feel tingly all over, even as you rolled your eyes at him.

“It’s for the tree. Cool it, Romeo.” 

You pay this kiss-tax to be freed from the cosiness of his arms and slip into the bedroom for just a second. It is enough time for Eddie to edit a few baubles like it’s second nature to him, swapping out colours that are too close to each other and filling gaps until you arrive with a box. He has forgotten that he used to watch his mother do the same thing while he was content with his oven-warm cookies and cold milk on the couch.

You pass the box to Eddie. “It’s not really a gift. It’s for both of us.”

“Is it lingerie?” His brows raise, hopefully suggestive, as he smooths a finger over the lovingly slapped-on bow. Lingerie has certainly proven itself to be quite the mutual gift over the last year. His mind wanders to that last deep purple set you bought, and he can feel himself starting to drool.

“Eddie, just open it. You’re going to be so disappointed, it’s lame…”

At the talk of lingerie, you are acutely aware that you are currently dressed in sweats and one of his hoodies. In a funny sort of way, you know that the cosy combo does it for Eddie as much as lace and satin. The every-horny-for-your-boyfriend part of your brain considers wrapping yourself up in a big red bow for him. He would like that far too much.

He feigns coolness as he pulls the lid off and you push your unhinged thoughts away.

Inside, wrapped in crinkly red tissue paper, are two things - a matte black bauble with your initials curling together in shiny red calligraphy. Beside it, a small silver frame ornament with a candid snap of Eddie and you from Thanksgiving just passed, the one you spent in Hawkins with Wayne and his girlfriend. You’re perched on his lap, arms looped around his neck, smiling and very clearly obsessed with each other.

“I just thought we could... We could start our own traditions. Little things.” You speak into the quietness of the room as Eddie stares into the box. You murmur to yourself when he doesn’t answer, “You didn’t even want a tree, it’s so stupid.”

“Stop that.” Eddie’s frown is serious. “My girlfriend isn’t stupid. How dare you.” 

“But you don’t even like Christmas… It’s kinda stu-”

“Don’t. It’s fuckin’ thoughtful as fuck.” Eddie smiles softly at the ornaments, a warm feeling spreading in his chest. “You’re too cute, baby.” 

Pressing a smiling kiss to your lips, Eddie could feel himself beginning to soften. Maybe this Christmas thing would not be so bad this year…

Christmas with Wayne was always low-key - some years his Uncle took a shift at the plant and they exchanged thoughtfully practical presents like new guitar strings or picks, a book or an album, novelty mugs and new baseball caps or shirts. 

Wayne was not so fond of Christmas either. It reminded him of his heavy-handed drunk of a father, and the anxiety-inducing unanswered phone calls to his idiot brother’s house after Elizabeth died. It reminded him of finding his nephew alone in a cold house on Christmas Day, without a tree or dinner when Al forgot to come home. The kid didn’t have a single present to open from Santa. 

When Eddie moved to the trailer with him, too wise to the big bad world to be so easily distracted by shiny things, Wayne made sure there was a present for Eddie every single year, a meal and some company - even if the kid didn’t want it, even if Eddie screamed and threw a fit until he sobbed himself silent because he was just a little boy who missed his Mama…

Now, in the cocoon of your home together, Eddie's smile brims with child-like innocence, touched by the weight of wanting to start your own traditions together. You knew you were it for each other, but the little reminder of how much you meant it makes him glow.

He puts the box down and cups your face, pressing kisses everywhere he can reach. “God, I’m so in love with you,” he growls like a happy demon, making you laugh. 

Contently trapped against his body, soft and lean in all the right places, you release the breath you had been holding as Eddie studies the contents of the gift box again. 

“Look at these! I need this picture for my wallet. I need like, six copies,” he murmurs, “Have you ever seen a hotter couple?” Eddie brushes his thumb over the velvety loop of ribbon to hang it on the tree. “We need this for our grandkids, baby.” 

“Laurel took it. I’ll get you another copy.” Your face hurts from smiling as he kisses your cheek again. Wayne’s girlfriend was fond of you both, particularly Eddie.

“And this? Fuckin’ gothic as hell, I love it.” He strokes the intertwined initials before putting the box down to hug you just a shade off too tight. Nuzzling your noses together, he asks, “Where are we going to hang ‘em?”

“Front and centre?” you suggested, shrugging a little. “We could move that one…”

“Creepy Santa?”

“Banish him to the back of the tree. Begone, creep.”

Eddie chokes a laugh and muttered, “I love when you say nerdy shit, baby,” before unwinding his arms from around you to banish Creepy Santa.

“My boyfriend is a huge nerd, I can’t help it,” you tease.

After some careful re-arranging, the two new additions take pride of place on your tree. Eddie’s tongue had stuck out in concentration as he balanced them both so carefully; you wished you had your camera to capture the moment, not that you would ever forget it. 

You are wrapped up in his arms again once you agree on the placement, nose to nose as Eddie tells you how much he loves you again. The little noise he makes when you slip your hands into his back pockets hits low in your gut.

“You saving those kisses you earned or cashing them in, hot stuff?” you ask, tracing his jaw with the tip of your nose.

Eddie’s teeth flash in the low light; the room is shadowy and warm in the glow of string lights and a dim lamp in the corner. 

“Oh, I’m saving them up, princess. Might claim one or two right now, but the rest are staying with me. Got a pocketful of IOUs for kisses.”

You press your face against his shoulder, smiling. “That’s so ominous, Teddy.” 

“Next time you’re mad at me? Kiss token. When you’re too busy with stupid chores to take my human right to be kissed seriously? Pucker the fuck up, pretty girl.” 

You love him all ways, but especially like this; playful and fun, flirting hard with you. Eddie’s using his voice in a way you know comes from years of playing DnD, and a stint in the drama club at school. He’s in-your-face-flirty, never subtle. This is the man who punched someone for you before you were even dating; there’s nothing subtle about Eddie Munson. 

No, there’s absolutely nothing subtle about Eddie as his hips press forward against yours and he directs your mouth to his, cashing in the first of those kisses. He smiles when you chase him for more. You pull him closer, your hands on that flat ass of his, and sigh when his tongue licks across your bottom lip. 

“That’s one,” he whispers. 

He cups your warm cheek, his pinky stroking your pulse point. He can feel your blood pump quicker when his breath breezes over your mouth, like the hard beating of butterfly wings that he feels too. Eddie likes how they have not gone away yet for either of you; over a year together and no sign of migration. He hopes they never leave.

“M’not counting. Just kiss me,” you whisper, a little whiney and needier than you had realised now that you are pressed up against him with nowhere else to be. 

Never one to leave you hanging (unless that was part of the game you were playing), Eddie kisses you like a man starved. He craves that gasping whimper only he can pull from your throat, the flutter of your lashes when your tongues slide together. 

You shiver when his chilly fingers slip up beneath your sweatshirt, palm flat to the small of your back - the part he likes to see arched when he takes you from behind. 

Your lips buzz where they press against Eddie’s; the electricity passing between you makes you glow like Christmas lights. 

Eddie can tell your brain is still working too hard and brings his hand to your throat; not squeezing but his touch just enough to bring you back to him. It makes you keen for him. A reminder of something you both want to try, but not before you work up to it and do a little more research.

“Okay?” he checks, kissing the corner of your mouth. He watches your eyes go dark, swallowed up by your pupils in the dim light. 

“Mhm,” you murmur, tilting your chin just enough to graze your lips against Eddie’s.

He blesses you with an all-too-brief kiss, knowing you need and want more. He backs up a few steps, taking you with him to sit on the couch. Sitting there, thighs spread and waiting, the way he looks up at you makes you clench. You take your place in his lap and spend a moment slowing it all down again, forehead to forehead with Eddie’s hands stroking your hips. 

“I love you,” he whispers, the words tickling your lips. 

“I know. Love you,” you murmur back, pulling back enough to look into his eyes. You thumb the tired crescent beneath it, skating along his smiling cheek. 

When he looks at you, it makes your heart beat double time; it’s not just the lust darkening his eyes, but pure adoration. 

You cross your arms to wriggle out of the hoodie, stripped down to a cotton cami and a bra that had been relegated to comfy-wear-only. Eddie thinks you are a goddess, and he is completely and utterly down-bad for you. The glow of the Christmas tree behind you makes you look like some sort of angel.

“Gorgeous,” he murmurs. His hands run up your sides and down again, pulling you in closer onto his lap. You can feel him beneath the layers of sweatpants and denim. 

You lean into him again for another kiss, melting against Eddie’s warm chest when his hands begin to wander. He kisses you, his tongue twisted with yours as he takes his time. There is no rush this evening, no need to get off quick before your shift. 

Without the deadline, you draw it out - kissing slow, hands wandering to squeeze and tease, hips rolling and grinding together hot and hard beneath the layers. You give extra attention to that spot on Eddie’s neck that makes him go cross-eyed, dragging your teeth over the little bruise he can hide beneath his hair (but he won’t because he’s a menace and a bit of a slut). 

You pull off his black sweater - the one that hugs his arms and makes his waist look biteable - and kiss along the neckline of his tank top. Your fingers push at it and his silver chain when they get in the way of another bruise-making kiss that makes Eddie swear under his breath. 

“Baby, fuck.” 

He grunts quietly when you push your hips together again, attempting to relieve some of the building ache between your thighs. 

“Mm, that’s the plan,” you whisper, smiling against his collarbone when he chokes on his own throaty laugh. 

When you look up at him there is a dusty pink flush across his cheeks. You watch his jaw drop just a fraction when your breath casts over the damp kisses you left on his neck. When your thumb catches purposefully on his nipple there’s a quiet ‘fuck’ that tumbles from his tongue. 

As his ability to be patient wanes, Eddie catches your lips again and slowly guides you to lie back against the sofa cushions.

“You drive my crazy,” he whispers, brushing back the hair that had fallen around your face. He kisses you again, a whisper of teeth against your lip before your tongues meet in a filthy kiss.

You make space for him between your legs, lying chest to chest as close as possible without opening up your chest and letting him crawl inside, without physically melting together to become one. You lose yourself in each other, bathed in the warm light of the tree.

“You didn’t do a star. Or an angel, angel. Do you have one?” Eddie’s jeans and belt are undone around his hips as he sits with your feet in his lap, pulled back on to smoke out the window.

“I got distracted before I could put it up.” You wiggle your toes against his thigh, yelping when he runs his fingertips over the sole. You shove it beneath his leg, safe and warm away from his tickling fingers. “I have one. It’s in that bag.” 

Back in your (Eddie’s) hoodie and your underwear, you point him toward the busted-around-the-edges gift bag left forgotten by the stereo. “You wanna put it up?”

Eddie smells warm and smokey when he leans in for a kiss, a tinge of sweat lingering after making love to you. He still has his warm pink-cheeked glow and proudly wears the bruises from your sweet mouth, the red marks left by your fingernails on his back. 

Three pecks later, he stands with a groan more befitting a man of his uncle’s age and picks up the bag. You watch him stare at the contents, an unreadable look on his face as he lifts it out.

Your star is kitschy as hell, gold with little tinsel pom-poms on the pointy edges and definitely older than both of you. It’s not to everyone’s taste, a little tacky perhaps, but that was part of its charm. When it caught your magpie-eye in a junk shop a few weeks ago you couldn’t leave it behind. The had-seen-better-days tree-topper that had cost one whole dollar and seventy-five cents. It had glittered at you from the shelf and whispered ‘take me with you’. 

“If you hate it, we don’t have to put it up. We could put Creepy Santa up there instead,” you mused, “Our creepy angel…” 

“I don’t hate it. It’s so… wrong in the best way.” Eddie turns the star-shape in his hands. It reminds him of the chintzy and bright Christmas trees and flashy lights in Forest Hills. “Where the hell did you even get this thing?” 

“In the little thrift store near the camera shop. The one where you got me those earrings…?” 

“Mm, I know it. Maybe we can un-banish the Creep too. I guess it’s Christmas after all…” he reaches for the previously hidden Santa Claus figure with shifty eyes and rosy cheeks and replaces him near the top of the tree. “Yeesh, you’re a weird little man.” He flicks Santa before lifting the star up. “You wanna do the honours?”

From your cosy place on the couch, still pleasantly jelly-legged and tingly all over, you shake your head. “You do it. I’m comfy.” 

Eddie shrugs and reaches to balance the topper on the highest point of your perfectly wonky little tree, standing back with his hands on his hips before looking to you for approval. 

You give Eddie two thumbs up before opening your arms for him. You barely brace for impact when he pounces on you, head thrown back laughing. “Ed!” You squeak when he presses growling kisses to your neck. 

Resting on your chest, Eddie looks up at you with those shiny baby-cow eyes you adore. He is so soft beneath it all. He makes your heart beat double time. You brush back his hair and kiss his forehead as he gets comfortable. You wrap your legs around him so he cannot go anywhere, even if he wanted to. 

“Can we make this part of our tradition too?” he asks.

“Mm, I like how you think, pretty boy.”

Your fingers comb through his curls as he rests his weight on you. There is nowhere you would rather be.

Eddie cannot keep himself from staring at the tree in the quiet bliss of it all. He soaks it in; the thud of your heart beneath his ear, the way the tree-lights blur his eyes when he stares at them for too long. 

A small slow smile spreads onto his face. He decides then that maybe, just maybe, Christmas might not be so bad this year.

An easter egg for the babes who made it to the end - here's the picture from the header image (I love making photos like this for fics tbh). I like to think this is one of the pictures Eddie's Mom sent to Wayne and he still has it 🥲🥲🥲

Thank you for reading ❤️ reblogs, likes and comments are cherished and adored!

[iblameashley]

Okay... I need to get some thoughts out...

To anyone who hasn't watched the end of Arcane, you may want to skip this. To be kind to y'all, but put my thoughts under the cut.

I really want to start off by saying that I actually did like Arcane! But like with most things, now that I have had time to reflect... I have feelings. And where better to get them out than Tumblr / screaming into the void.

They amusing thing to me about Arcane is that, for all its progressive themes, it still manages to fumble (from my point of view), gay representation. Gay men, specifically...

But as an Old Gay™ who has lived through so many TV shows that bypass, imply, nod, wink and nudge at gay relationships, if not flat out kill the gays and deny them a happy ending; I'm tired of implied gay men.

Lets start with Old Man Yaoi™

So in the alternate universe we get a glimpse of what is heavily implied to be two old gay (or Bi) men happy together.

I know some people might look at it and be like 'you're looking too closely at this, they're just friends now.' but... There is only one thing written more homoerotically and we'll get to that later.

Once again, all we are given is gentle touches, smiles and glances. And that can be fine sometimes. But its all implied and subtle. We have a whole dance scene with Ekko and Jinx, but they could have had Vander and Silco in the background dancing as well? We could have gotten a tender kiss?

We were given lesbian sex in a jail cell, but two gay men having a loving an intimate moment was too much? Of course it was. Lesbians are the safe option. They're always the safe option in TV when you want to have gay relationships. (This is not to say that lesbians get a 100% free pass, or don't have backlash! I simply mean that TV producers feel more confident including lesbians over gay men in media).

And of course we have Jayvik

I read on the other (hell) site that the creators of Arcane never intended to make Jayce and Viktor an item. I don't follow the creators and have no intention of looking it up, but lets be honest... this shit was so homoerotic.

But once again, things are mostly just implied or alluded to.

Would I have loved for them to kiss? Yes. Did I need them to kiss? No.

The gentle touches and looks were nice, for sure. I enjoy the intimacy of the moment, but we couldn't even get an 'I love you' with the actual words.

It feels like, once again, we can't have two men confess they love each other (even if it was platonic) because that would just be too much. Instead we get another repeat of "I want my partner back."

And then of course they explode into... something. Of course they could have simply changed states of being, or something. But its frustrating to always see gay men (viewers) get the short end of the stick once again. I'm tired of having to settle for implied romances or confessions of love from two men.

Anyway. I still loved both seasons of the show overall, but I just needed to let some of my frustrations out. I will now return to being delusional and throwing myself into the fandom to get more gay content that TV still hesitates to provide me with.

As an Aside... Loris deserved better!

I want this man in ways I cannot accurately express on this site. (I'd give this babygirl all the peanuts he'd want)

Thank you for reading my little gay rant. I feel better having typed things out a bit, even if I didn't cover every one of my intrusive thoughts in this post.

[thegamingcatmom]

How far will Mother Miranda go in giving into her birb behavior?

Silly thought:

MC on a park bench or something feeding the birds with some bread or bird seed

And then miri descends

A stare off? MC offers some to the weird birb lady

And then Miri swipes the bread away

Listen-

Thinking about Birb Momma´s urges is pretty much all I do besides eating and sleeping. 😭🫠

I think she´d try to remain as non-bird as possible though, lol. At least in public. She does have a reputation to uphold, after all. ;3

...

Miri: *sees some villager throwing seeds for the chickens*

Miri:

CONCEAL DON´T FEEL DONT LET EM KNOW MIRI. 👁️👁️💧

It´s a good thing she´s mastered the art of concealing herself in the 100 smt years she´s been parading as The Priestess...

In private though? With MC being the only witness (and death-threatened into secrecy)?

...

MC: *sleeping soundly*

Miri: *comes barging through the door*

MC: "WHA-"

Miri: *throws something on her*

MC: "-mpf!"

Miri: *stares*

MC: *untangles herself from that something and takes a moment to study it before throwing Miri a look*

MC: "...What-"

Miri: "We must begin the preparations."

...

MC: "...Uh-"

Miri: "Spring is drawing ever closer."

MC: "Ah, well thank God for that, right?? I love snow, but man, that weather´s been really starting to-"

Miri: *turns around and leaves out the open door again mid (one-sided) convo*

MC: "..."

MC: *merely shakes her head and makes to go back to sleep cause, by now, she´s become rather used to her roommate´s/abductor´s/lover´s/master´s quirks, but then remembers-*

MC: "Hm..."

MC: *takes the something and stuffs it under her pillow before cuddling back in*

MC: "...This is quite nice, actually."

MC: *snuggles in further, sighing in content*

A few minutes later...

MC: *back to sleeping soundly*

Miri: *walks through the open door, fully intending to-*

...

Miri: *sees MC snuggled in, something stuffed under her-*

Miri: "..."

Miri: *quietly approaches the bed, drops what she´s carrying very carefully, before leaving out the door again*

If one were to pay close attention, they might notice a slight spring in the Priestess´s step...

.

.

.

The next day...

MC: *slowly wakes up, yawning widely as she goes to stretch her lim-*

MC: "...Wha-"

MC: *tries to stretch her limbs, which are buried beneath layers upon layers of blankets and pillows and...other stuff*

MC: "Are you...kidding me?!"

MC: *starts sweating from the exertion...and from the masses currently squishing her*

MC: "UGH!"

MC: *has to give up cause there´s no escaping that*

MC, in a last resort: "MIRANDAAAAA!"

A few seconds later...

Miri: *swaggers in with all the confidence of a woman who knows exactly what she did (which pretty much means her usual self)*

Miri: "Hm?"

MC: "What do you mean Hm? Look at me!"

Miri: *looks at her*

Miri: "Mhm, appealing qualities indeed..."

MC: "Wha-that´s not what...UGH!"

MC: *tries to wriggle free again*

Miri: *watches her in a mix of amusement and...smt else*

MC, huffing and puffing: "...A little help here??"

Miri: "...Whatever for?"

...

MC: "...What do you mean Whatever for?? I´ve become one with the bed! I AM the bed!"

Miri, wearing her pokerface: "Hm, it would seem so."

MC: "..."

Miri: "..."

MC: "...Why?"

Miri: "...Spring is drawing-"

MC: "MIRANDA!"

...

Miri: "...The season is drawing ever closer."

MC: *eye starts twitching*

MC: "...What season?"

Miri: *cocks her head to the side before turning around and leaving out the door to get more stuff to add to the pile*

MC: *lies there in silence*

...

...

...

MC: *starts thrashing-"

Due to all the thrashing, dozens of black feathers are thrown up, dancing in the air for a while before slowly starting to descend. You watch them for a moment, mesmerized by their soothing drift, before you realize-

"...Ah, shit-"

Nesting season. 🪺

.

.

.

NOT ME IMAGINING CROW MAMA POPPING OUT THEM EGGOS. 🥚🫠

Everything that woman might do makes me feral.

Thanks a lot for your ask! 💋