#I might be flawed in this thinking and Im willing to hear other's opinions

[rat-rosemary]

I'm just saying his to make it obvious, but I'm not about to crucify people who continue to explore the dsmp character of Wilbur Soot from now on

[mageofmindfr]

..... cause I am, maybe, perhaps, a tad self centered..... Can you tell me more about the page of heart!!! im heart for sure, and lean sylph (as you know) but id love to hear more about pages! honestly all of the heart classes but thats a tall order lol

Hi hello I would gladly say more about the page of heart! And later about the sylph as well but that’s for a later post :3

Well then. As I mentioned in the post about pages as a whole, the page is a class of self-growth. They need to learn to better themselves in order to become unimaginably powerful, which, unfortunately, isn’t something we see from any canonical pages, but we can definitely tell they’re not even scratching the surface on how much potential a page can have if they let themselves have it.

Also mentioned in that post is that a page’s lesson at self-betterment would be difficult; they might not like what they’re told they need to change in themselves, or it might be ingrained too deep into who they perceive themselves as, which is also part of why a page of heart can be on both sides of the spectrum when it comes to self-love.

The heart aspect is that of emotions, such as love, and is also about the self, or the soul (hence the concept of fragmentation when it comes to heart players). A heart player would probably be invested in the people around them without any want to mingle, though in a different sense to that of the people-watching mind players. A heart player is likely to give emotional advice, and may even be willing to be the shoulder for you to cry on, as long as you haven’t been looking for them specifically. They’re the center of their own world, but would likely despise being thought of as anyone else’s. I don’t mean that in a mean way, either- I almost thought myself to be a heart player for quite a while, so I say that all with love to all the heart players out there <3

A page of heart, in that sense, is even deeper in self-betterment than any other page, since their sense of self is so strong - the question is just what opinion they may have on that “self”. On one hand, they can adore who they are, which can easily become a fault in the way they treat other people as “other”- the entire “you wouldn’t get it” tirade is strong in that case. They see themselves as entirely separate to anyone else in the sense where they’re higher, and their struggles are more unique or even sophisticated for anyone else to understand. In that case, I recommend a good whacking over the head with a rolled up newspaper (quick disclaimer: this is a joke, I usually use that phrase when talking about characters I like who act like idiots) and a call for them to wake up and see they’re being a bit of a diva. Alternatively, and perhaps more commonly attributed to pages, they might be a person of self-loathing. They see flaws in who they are and find compliments ingenuine or just incorrect. No amount of love would wake them up because everyone else has “unrealistic” expectations of them, and they’re sure they’re failing even when with loved ones who reassure them. I see those pages like most artists probably do when looking at their own art three days after they finish it and immediately go “oh no this is terrible”. They lack that ever-important self esteem that makes them any amount of confident in what they love to do. This page may need some time alone or, perhaps, to truly fail something and be told that nobody in their session thinks them to be perfect; they truly are good at stuff, and all those compliments were well-earned.

The point is, a page of heart would need to reflect about how they see themselves in order to better their session. How do they feel about the stuff they like to do? Would it matter that they’re bad at it, if they are, or is the happiness they receive from it more important? They should define their own worth, and study themselves to make it as accurate as they could, without any bias towards whether they think they’re good or bad at anything in particular. That does mean that if, for example, you’re an artist, and a lot of people like your art, it means its good, regardless of if you see it two days later and think it’s actually awful. We all do that, but that opinion is rather biased. Learning to go beyond that bias to see what you love for what it is, which is something you enjoy and can always get better at (because not all of us can be lords of mind, what the heck), is really hard, and also is the lesson for the page of heart to learn.

I was about to say “tl;dr: but then I realized this summarizing paragraph is going to be very long. The page of heart struggles with who they are and what they love, and whether they’re good at it or not. My best advice as some random internet person would be to take a deep breath, and try to look at things objectively. Maybe ask someone you trust for help in reminding you to be objective, too, because your feelings are all intense and you should follow them, but never let them be your downfall, because a page of heart is someone who’s heart leads them and honestly.. that’s quite admirable, if you can sort out whatever your heart is feeling <3

[commsroom]

i love all of your hera takes so much; can you say more about the relationship she has with each crew member? (or just eiffel to be honest, im kind of a sucker for them ^^;)

I would love to! I'm sorry this answer is so long and also... all over the place, but in my defense it's a really broad topic that I have a lot of feelings about and this barely even scratches the surface.

Okay. I've thought a lot about how I wanted to approach this, and I think the first thing I want to say - and I know this might seem like a strange point to open on, but I think it's a key factor in all of these relationships - is that I think Hera experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria, and I think the way that manifests for her is kind of the opposite of how Eiffel experiences RSD. They both have a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy and any criticism can feel like a personal attack, like everyone else is blaming them for everything that goes wrong. But where Eiffel internalizes that feeling and also blames himself/gets angry with himself, Hera lashes out and deflects. This is complicated by protocols that restrict her behavior, especially early on, because she can't always properly express herself and she builds resentment. She's really good at holding grudges.

So. With Lovelace, I think it's pretty obvious where that initial conflict is. Hera doesn't understand where Lovelace is coming from, and it's made worse from her perspective because Lovelace should understand, better than anyone, what that loss of control, that sense of powerlessness and insignificance in your own life, feels like. They are both traumatized people, but they deal with it differently. They approach conflict differently - they can both be blunt, but I think Lovelace is the kind of person who can start to deal with and move past things once they're out in the open, while Hera will get in a fight and then stew over it forever. It sounds kind of ridiculous to say when so much of their early relationship with each other is... what it is, but I think Eiffel and Minkowski are both peacekeepers in their own ways, and the Hera-Lovelace dynamic suffers from the lack of that... tempering influence. 

(And I think it's notable that Hera’s confrontation with Lovelace in Pan-Pan is among her worst memories.)

On the other hand, I think that shared bluntness can be useful sometimes - in Do No Harm, most of all, but also in Shut Up and Listen. Hera was definitely still holding onto hurt from some of the things Eiffel used to say, but by that point... without Lovelace, I'm really not sure if she ever would've brought it up to him.

And, of course, Hera becomes much more protective of (and willing to understand) Lovelace once they have... some even more similar experiences, in S4. I guess my general assessment of their relationship is that they care about each other and they will advocate for each other, especially where they share difficult and traumatic experiences and on issues of identity, but I don't think they're ever that close. They're kind of... the two people in the friend group who don't quite know how to hang out without their other friends.

Hera's initial conflict with Minkowski has some similar roots, but it's... not quite the same. There are times where Lovelace will intentionally prod at Hera's insecurities; Minkowski doesn't do it on purpose. She's just under the impression that her criticism is fair and professional, while to Hera it feels deeply personal, like it's an assessment of her worth as an individual. Once they understand and reconcile that miscommunication, there's a lot of trust and respect between them - and I think the potential for that is there earlier, too, especially in some flashback scenes; there are just... missteps along the way. Tactical Brain Damage is the best episode to demonstrate the establishment of that trust, I think - Hera has a LOT of wariness when it comes to people messing around with her systems, and just the act of saying... I trust you to do this, I know you won't let anything happen to me... is a really, really big deal for her.

They also just... have honest conversations about their feelings and concerns by that point, and Minkowski is considerate of how Lovelace's plans affect Hera, specifically, and asks for her input on that basis. I think their dynamic is really underutilized, but the way they feel about each other is clear. Minkowski is the only person other than Eiffel that Hera really trusts, and her only other close friend. There's definitely... a part of that dynamic that only Eiffel can offer, and that they can't really make up for when he's gone, but there's still this sense that... they're the only two people who are still really talking to each other by the time Pan-Pan comes around.

(Side note, it's really funny that Hera was SO on board to be in Minkowski's musical. Minkowski gave her only willing participant a minor part. If I could wish one non-Eiffel-centric comedy mini-episode into existence... at one point, my friend suggested a scenario in which Hera tries very, very hard to prove her acting skills to Minkowski under the most inopportune circumstances. ... And Hera was interested to hear Minkowski talk about a play she likes in that one flashback, so. The only thing keeping Hera from being a fellow theater kid was a lack of opportunity. Maybe they could bond over it.)

There's also that scene in Quiet, Please where Minkowski very directly, emphatically defends Hera's autonomy and personhood to Jacobi - and refers to her as a woman, which I think is so... reflective of how much Minkowski has come to understand Hera and what's important to her, and how she wants to be seen. That's a whole other discussion that goes into Hera's self-perception and humanity as it relates to her own identity, but. For a number of reasons, it's important to me.

Anyway. Speaking of things that are important to me. Hera and Eiffel are... Hera and Eiffel. Hera's relationship to Eiffel is the first one she's ever had that comes without hierarchy or conditions; he just... wants to hang out with her, and to get to know her, and to talk to her, because he likes her as a person. She's never had that before, and she is such... a lonely person, a person who has been hurt, who is generally distrustful, who has this distance between her and everyone else, and Eiffel is her anchor to the world. He tries to understand her. He tries to bridge that gap. And even in all of his own missteps, I think just... knowing he cares to try matters so much. I think a lot about how Eiffel is the only one who physically crosses the stage to talk to Hera in the live show; it says... something about the way he sees her, compared to everyone else.

And there's just... the way that they're both... people with a lot of self-doubt, people who have a hard time being kind to themselves, but they're kind to each other, and patient with each other. There's something about recognizing your own flaws in someone you love and treating them with kindness so maybe, over time, you can extend that same compassion to yourself. I want to be the person you believe I am. Going back to that shared experience with RSD, I think it's really valuable for both of them to have someone in their lives who they can really, genuinely believe likes them as they are. Who won't think less of them, no matter what.

I know I can get kind of sentimental about them, but this is what stands out to me. That even when Hera is frustrated or annoyed with Eiffel, when she feels like he doesn't get it, can't understand what she's going through... she still wants him around. And she still talks to him. And, usually... she still feels better, even if the circumstances haven't changed. It's an unbearable situation, but it's a little less unbearable with him there.

(They're also... frequently the only people who can get through to each other/change each other's minds, i.e. Minkowski and Lovelace deferring to Hera to get Eiffel to agree to safety protocols, or Eiffel convincing Hera to vote to go back to Earth - also a totally different topic that would take a long time to get into properly, but he's good at kind of... emotionally counteracting her cynicism and defeatism re: her own perceived fate. In a less serious context, I also love the dynamic where she tells him she's not going to do something and he goes "please??" and she goes. Ughh. Fine. And does it anyway.)

There's just something so special about their relationship, something that makes it different from any other relationship in the show for me. I feel like... Eiffel and Minkowski are both her close friends, but the way Hera thinks about Eiffel in Memoria vs. the way she thinks about Minkowski is... revealing. Everything with Minkowski has a purpose, it's clear why it matters to her. She thinks of Minkowski's faith in her. But with Eiffel, she thinks about... Eiffel talking about Star Wars. Making pop culture references. The thing that saves Hera is her connection to Eiffel and Minkowski - I'll defend that; Maxwell gives her the tools to understand what's going on, but it's Eiffel's and Minkowski's words and associated memories that she holds onto and that ultimately pull her through - and those words are... Minkowski's affirmation. And Eiffel... being Eiffel. I think that says a lot.

(If you’re asking for my opinion on their relationship, you already know I think it’s a romance, but... it’s a romance. I’m not saying it should be canon. I’m saying that that’s the most natural interpretation of what’s already there. You don’t have to change anything. They’re best friends, and they’re found family, and they are so in love, and none of those things are mutually exclusive. The way they talk to each other...)

If there's one point I want to make about all of this, it's that Hera is in a position that makes trusting people potentially very dangerous, and in all of these cases, she is finding ways to build relationships with people despite that. To understand them, and have them understand her, and realizing that the things that make her different don't have to be a death sentence. That she can have a life and find a way forward with people she cares about, who care about her... that's something very important to me.

[lispectore]

hello! i do not trust a single person on mcyttwt so i hope you don't mind me asking you! i joined the fandom fairly late so whenever dream gets called out for something i don't know what is true or not because i don't know what he is like (like even with the n-word thing a while back i left twitter in tears because i didnt know what to believe and it all got too overwhelming.) what kind of person is dream? and im sorry in advance if this is a strange kind of question, i just find that i agree with a lot of your views, critical or otherwise

hello, i don’t mind, this is not a strange ask at all, and i’m happy to hear that you agree with a lot of my views! :]] as someone who first joined the mcyt fandom through twitter i understand you, it’s easy for things to get blown up out of context or people bring back drama without explaining it on twitter.

i think dream is an amazing person and a guy who keeps growing and reeducating himself, he is someone who is always ready to listen to what people have to say, trying to understand their point of view, deconstructing views and ideals that he previously had. i would like to point out that dream - just like all the other human beings on the planet - has flaws and doesn’t hide it, the only differece between us and him is that every single mistake that he has done is going to get blown up to 20 million people.

as you might have seen (or probably has seen a lot) dream wasn’t the person that he is today a year ago, he had a lot of opinions that for me and a lot of other minorities were harmful to our communities, but dream himself has admitted that he doesn’t support those beliefs anymore and he condemns his past behavior, which for me is one of the things that matter the most. it’s easy to see ccs go around and be like “i changed :D” but they haven’t changed, with dream you can clearly see that he has changed. 

dream has opened the gaming community to a lot of minorities and has embraced “stan culture”, which was seen by the gaming community a few years back as something “cringy”. i’m pretty sure a lot of older ccs still see stans/”fangirls” as an annoying group of rabid fans (and a lot of that is deeply rooted on sexism), when dream embraced this community he started to learn from these people and changed his views.

i think i’ve never seen a content creator as open as dream, as willing to change as him, to accept his mistakes and to condemn his past behavior without looking for excuses to dismiss controversial things that he has said before. 

i know that a lot of people here don’t like dream because of his past behavior or don’t trust him because of that (and that’s fair, that’s their opinion), but for me dream is a great guy and it’s hard to see someone really change, but dream has shown that it’s not impossible.

[iacon-stargazer]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE: MUN & MUSE

fill out & repost ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multimuses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by: stolen from @oneshallfall like.... months ago. im a slow gremlin hjksd. it's been in my drafts and i finally decided to finish the last few sections while working on clearing them out

tagging: steal it

MY MUSE IS.   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless

is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  Well.../ NO / IDK. (i know optimus is but i don’t really... know about orion? i have seen a handful of fanartists who turn him into a very sexualized moe baby but i’m not sure about the fandom at large)

is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

are they underrated?  YES / NO. (lmao there’s like no fan content with him unless it’s with megatronus) 

were they relevant to the main story?  YES / NO.

were they relevant to the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO. (not yet.... lol)

how’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?

This... this is a trick question in this goddamn mess of a continuity. That said, I try my absolute best to make my portrayal coherent with the TFP show... even if said show contradicts itself at times. I take inspiration from the earlier parts (the thirteen primes section) of the Covenant of Primus for his origin backstory, but ignore the rest of the Covenant since it makes absolutely no sense with his characterization in... literally anything else. I’ve peeked at Exodus and it utterly sucks, but I’ve picked up bits and pieces of concepts that originated there just from spending time in the fandom. Aside from that... I spend a ton of time thinking about how to weave everything together in a way that both makes sense and makes for a character development arc.

SELL YOUR MUSE! (aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.)

Orion is genuinely kind, thoughtful, and introspective, very loving of the world around him.

He’s also a more complex character than is initially obvious - despite mostly being good sweet pure baby nerd he’s still flawed, with many of those flaws being his strengths put into the wrong situation. His strong morals can lead to dogmatism, and he’s only slightly less likely to deliver lectures than Optimus. His determination to be kind and help everyone can come off as unintentionally patronizing at times; he has a very “well-intentioned semi-privileged middle class” perspective that he’s not always self-aware of. However, he’s also willing to look at himself critically and learn/adapt. 

Essentially, he has many of the same traits as Optimus... just more or less apparent and/or developed. He's less confident than he eventually becomes through his future experience with leadership, wanting to change the world for the better but sometimes struggling to ground his plans in reality—something that continues to apply, but with reduced intensity and frequency over time. Idealistic cinnamon roll will eventually develop some realism, though never really quite enough. His selflessness remains a strength for now, but we know that eventually it will dip into martyristic tendencies.

NOW THE OPPOSITE! (list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)

He could be potentially ‘boring’ in some senses. he’s the polite, considerate ‘next door’ type, who has for most of his life has just lived as a very average middle caste nobody. He’s more laid-back than he eventually becomes as optimus, but where others might get into trouble and shenanigans he’s most likely to just express concern. And since I try to keep him at least mostly ic, even with non-serious posts, this can derail ‘fun’ stuff and I fear dissuade some interaction.

While I try my best to give him realistic flaws that work with his character, he could still be seen as a little too good. very kind, understanding, forgiving, patient, considerate... almost endlessly so. A lot of my “he’s so good and pure” interpretation comes from using his having been the thirteenth prime as backstory, where he was pretty much the epitome of that, but some might not like the “he was a literal deity in a past life” idea for its “super special chosen one protagonist” elements.

His responsiveness to his environment can also be a downside. He’s not the type to start things; he just reacts and responds, standing his ground and finding himself when things get crazy around him. without megatronus, he may have eventually attempted political campaigning, but it wouldn’t have gotten very far. He needs to have more intense characters or events around him for major plots to really go places. Without those nothing would ever happen besides slice of life fluff, because he’s content with that kind of life.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?  

Honestly I just wanted to write op/ratch fhsjkdjsdh. But I also wanted to be able to interact with a variety of muses and so I chose Orion over Optimus because he’s not so emotionally closed off, which I figured would give more flexibility beyond the handful of characters op would reasonably have close personal and/or plot-important relationships with. Also, I can relate to him on a thought-process level which lets me get into his head easily, which additionally made him an appealing choice for my first real rp muse.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?  

I just love him so much, especially with the layers of his character I've built up around him. I don't always have inspiration to write or rp, but I think about him a lot. When I do find motivation to write, it's generally out of wanting to continue to work on developing him and just having a chance to express his characterization.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.

do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.  (i should do it more...)

do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES / NO.

are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO. (at least most days fhsdhfskj)

are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. (it waxes and wanes. I know I'm a good writer but I could still be better...)

are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?

I’ll be honest; I’ve never gotten criticism. I haven’t been here very long in comparison to some and I’ve never been that popular, so I figure I’m pretty easy to just ignore. I guess how I would feel about it would depend on what it was and how it was delivered, though I like to think I would be reasonable regardless

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?  

yes? yes absolutely?

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  

I would be curious to hear their reasoning, but I think enough about how everything fits together that chances are I would agree to disagree

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?

Depends on if their disagreement makes sense. Maybe I’ll give back my own reasoning for why I characterize the way I do. Maybe I’ll just agree to disagree, if their view is just totally different from mine. If they have valid points I’ll probably overthink it and spiral into self doubt. In all cases I’ll spill my thoughts to friends on discord.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?

......Orion in general or? ... fhsjkdhf...... Well if it was mine specifically that might hurt lol. But at the same time.... I doubt i’d agree with their takes either so... fair enough.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?  

Sure. I’m good at grammar so if something glaring is there it’s probably a typo I missed and I’ll be grateful for the chance to edit it out before more people see it lol

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  

Yeah. I’m pretty quiet most of the time because I just don’t have energy to talk to a lot of people, and I never want to get caught in drama. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do in a situation like that. I tend to avoid conflict, I’m quick to apologize, and polite with anyone I don’t know very well.

[idairsauthor]

This Fcking Impeachment, Episode 5: If You Go After The King

PLAIDDER: Hey, Conn.

CONN: Hello, stranger.

PLAIDDER: Leave me alone. I’ve been busy.

CONN: You’ve been hiding.

PLAIDDER: OK, fine. I’ve been taking a break from all...this. I don’t think I’ve really missed anything. 

CONN: How can you say--

PLAIDDER: For the first week, you know, I thought it actually would matter how things went in the impeachment hearings. And maybe it did, some. But not enough.

CONN: You were waiting for your Republicans to turn on him, weren’t you.

PLAIDDER: No. But I thought public opinion might shift, or something. Now, it’s just...you know, I don’t expect a lot of surprises at this point. The House will impeach and the Senate will acquit and the Russians will collude and this son of a bitch will be reelected in 2020 and that’s the end of the American experiment.

CONN: Please don’t tell me you regret your Nancy Pelosi’s doing this.

PLAIDDER: Oh no. No, not at all. We had to.

CONN: That’s a relief.

PLAIDDER: You know, they say, if you go after the king, you better not miss. But you understand better than most that sometimes--

CONN: Sometimes, you just have to go after the king. 

PLAIDDER: No matter what.

CONN: No matter what.

PLAIDDER: What actually depresses me most about all this, Conn, is watching everyone second-guess what the Democrats are doing. Everyone wants to be the one to have found the flaw in the strategy that will have led to the final defeat. This is what frustrates me about the mainstream media--the “good” media, the ones that actually try to be factually accurate and halfway responsible. There’s always this narrative, where for a while one side is up, and then that side is down and the other side is up, and so no matter what’s actually happening, you think you’re winning one week and the next week you’re plunged into despair.

CONN: Our repeater chains really aren’t that sophisticated.

PLAIDDER: I didn’t want them to be. Your country’s never going to have social media; you already have telepathy.

CONN: So this week, the story is the Democrats are down, eh? 

PLAIDDER: Yeah. Knowing that this is the narrative somehow doesn’t protect me from it emotionally. But all week it’s been “what the Democrats should do that they’re not doing” or “what the Democrats shouldn’t do that they are doing” or “why the whole process is broken and our country is fucked up beyond all repair” or...and I’m sick of it. 

CONN: Do you really think they could be doing a better job with this?

PLAIDDER: No. I don’t. This is what drives me nuts. When Pelosi was staving off impeachment, everyone I knew was like, what is this weak sauce, what are they waiting for, he gives proof of impeachability every day, this is what we always do, we keep our powder dry till it’s too late to use it, this party will never do anything right as long as they’re taking money from corporations, etc. etc. etc. Now we’re actually doing it, and everyone wants to talk about why it’s not working. 

CONN: How is it not working? All the evidence--

PLAIDDER: I know. I know. They have no evidence, they have no logical or coherent defense of him, they have nothing, everything during the Intelligence Committee hearings went our way. But to the people who support him, it doesn’t matter what the evidence shows. It doesn’t matter what the law is. It doesn’t matter what the Constitution says. If he does it, it’s right. 

CONN: And you don’t understand that.

PLAIDDER: I have never felt that way about any politician. When it comes to politics, I don’t fall in love.

CONN: Not even with your Mr. Obama?

PLAIDDER: Look, I’m not gonna say I was immune to his magic, or Bill Clinton’s either. But when Bill Clinton was accused of having an affair with a White House intern, I was like, well that’s not implausible. I hoped he was telling us the truth about that, but I was ultimately not really surprised to discover that he wasn’t. Obama promised to close Guantanamo and he didn’t. Obama deported all kinds of people. Obama was fine with undeclared drone warfare. Nobody’s perfect. Nobody’s ideal. Nobody’s a hero.

CONN: None of that stops you from wanting them to be. That’s why you get mad at them, when they inevitably betray your hopes.

PLAIDDER: My point is, Conn, Buttercup came into this presidency with about 35-40% approval and that’s where he’ll be when he finally leaves it, no matter what happens. And 35-40% approval is good enough to keep the Congressional Republicans fawning around him licking his boots. It’s disgusting. It’s depressing.

CONN: Well then why did you want this impeachment, if it doesn’t matter?

PLAIDDER: You can be a real pain in the gleacha, you know that?

CONN: Maybe, but I’m cheaper than your therapist.

PLAIDDER: Yeah, all right. We had to do it. Because you have to do what you CAN do, even if it doesn’t matter. Before you get to the...scary shit...you have to exhaust the constitutional remedies.

CONN: Exactly.

PLAIDDER: If we hadn’t done this, we’d always have told ourselves that was our mistake. Now we’re doing it, and whatever happens, at least we don’t have to beat ourselves up for not having been willing to take the risk.

CONN: And may I remind you that you don’t know what’ll happen.

PLAIDDER: I think I do, Conn.

CONN: You didn’t predict how the shutdown would end. 

PLAIDDER: Yeah, you were closer but you were wrong. They didn’t vote to override his veto.

CONN: Because he realized it was a danger and decided not to give them the choice. If he comes to think there’s a real chance he will be removed, he’ll run. He’s not a brave man.

PLAIDDER: But there is no real chance of his being removed-

CONN: --yet.

PLAIDDER: NO! NO MORE YETS! I AM SICK OF YET! THERE ARE NO YETS IN THIS COUNTRY! WE ARE YETLESS! AMERICA HAS A MASSIVE YET DEFICIT!

CONN: Friend, I can see you’re upset, but let me tell you: you don’t know. Nobody knows. People have opinions but they don’t know. Did anyone know that your Mr. Giuliani was going to go to Ukraine this week to continue soliciting bribes and propagating Russian disinformation while the hearings were going on?

PLAIDDER: NOBODY CARES!

CONN: Your Rep. Matt Gaetz, he of the Great SCIF Sit-In, is on record saying that it’s “weird.”

PLAIDDER: So what. Buttercup will tweet at him and he’ll walk it back.

CONN: But did you expect that?

PLAIDDER: No. No, to be honest, I did not expect that.

CONN: Your Senator Kennedy can’t seem to decide whether he’s all in on the propaganda or not. He keeps going back and forth. 

PLAIDDER: What does that get us?

CONN: Nothing tangible. The report on that investigation your William Barr started into the Mueller investigation is due to be released today. Have you read it?

PLAIDDER: No, they haven’t dropped it yet. 

CONN: Why not?

PLAIDDER: I don’t know, maybe they got held up at Kinko’s.

CONN: You don’t think it might be because they’re desperately trying to massage it into a vindication of Trump’s “hoax” narrative even though they know they can’t?

PLAIDDER: Of course it might be. Or it may be they’re planning to dump it at 5 after the impeachment hearings are over.

CONN: If it’s going to vindicate their man, wouldn’t they drop it now and pull focus?

PLAIDDER: Conn--

CONN: YOU MADE ME RESILIENT. You MADE ME an optimist. YOU made me capable of preserving my faith in democratic institutions and diplomacy through EVERYTHING. Through imprisonment and mindforcing and torture. Maybe I SHOULD stop hoping but I can’t because you made hope unkillable in me. Why are you yelling at me? I am who I am because you need me to be that way.

PLAIDDER: I know. I know.

CONN: And I say, do not throw yourself into a pit of despair just because he has not been defeated YET.

PLAIDDER: All right, Conn. Point taken. 

CONN: They’re doing what you want them to do and what you know is right. They’re going after the king. No matter what.

PLAIDDER: No matter what.

CONN: The consequences will be what they will be. But this was the right thing to do and they’re doing it. Can’t you celebrate that?

PLAIDDER: I guess I can try.

CONN: That’s the spirit!

PLAIDDER: All right, Conn, thanks for coming in. See you next episode.

[atzfiles]

getting to know jeong yunho

hi! i will be looking into yunhos natal chart and share some of the information i have gotten out of it! thanks to yunho, we know the exact time he was born! i am not entirely sure if the place of birth is that exact though. so as always, this is not 100% accurate and i am not saying i know everything about astrology. this is a hobby of mine which i taught myself.

Sun Aries 

aries is the first sign of the zodiac which shows in their characters

they’re always first to start and always first to finish

aries people are natural athletes which, in my opinion, fits to yunho quite nicely

they cannot sit still for longer periods of time

their natural instinct is to use their bodies to get things done

they live a “simple” live, dont like long/drawn out moments and they also dont like planning ahead

aries sun are known for being direct, straightforward and uncomplicated

they also tend to live in the moment

whatever happens right now is most important to an aries

this trait can make them very impatient but also highly innovative 

aries suns are also very brave 

they dont like the long way to a goal, they need to take the quickest route

they also have some childlike qualities which makes them real charmers

yunho has a strong personality, entrepreneurial spirit, ambitious, self-willed and stubborn

possible downsides of an aries sun: very nervous, impulsive, wasteful, provoking and restless

Sun in V

yunho wants to be recognized for what he is doing

he has a lot of unique and special qualities and he wants people to pay attention to those

he has a flair for drama and sports (now we all know what sorta high school student he was lmao)

yunho is proud of the fact that he has such a positive outlook on life

expressing himself brings him happiness

he needs to be careful because sometimes those things can make him look like an attention seeker to others

188 Conjunction Sun in Mercury

he owns a lot of mental energy because his ego and mind are on the same level

yunho is very intelligent and he takes pride in that

he also loves to communicate with other people

he talks and expects others to listen but he himself can have a hard time listening to others, that doesnt mean he dominates every conversation

and here you can see yet again that he has great joy in expressing himself

he studies best when reading over the material rather than listening (to a teacher for example)

this also comes from the strong need to communicate

yunho cant listen and absorb information well, he has to act on it

he has his own opinions and those are set

very independent thinker

if not listened to, he can get quite butthurt

he also cant handle criticism too well when it comes to his own opinions

he has a very witty, bashful and playful sense of humor

272 Conjunction Sun in Jupiter

extremely generous, helpful, good-hearted, well-informed, friendly and possesses strong morals

seems like luck is always on his side

he attracts good and positive things like a magnet

yunho is not very competitive which, as a result, is the reason why a lot of people like him

he also loves to travel because he is interested in foreign places and people

he has a lot of faith in life and people 

he does believe in orders and rules and generally dislikes people that tend to break the rules or even go against the law

very impatient with the wrong people around

he can be trusted very well, is sincere and is good at keeping promises

as mentioned before, very optimistic 

laughs very easily

240 Sextile Sun in Neptune

very sensitive and dreamy

strong appreciation for music

he is naturally very compassionate

very open minded; realizes that there is more to the world than whats in front of his eyes

yunho is attracted to spiritual subjects which works in favor for musicians and artists

he can be taken advantage of because he feels strongly for those who are suffering 

very humanitarian; adores animals

very imaginative, inspired and emotional 

Moon in Gemini

people who have their moon in gemini tend to be very witty and charming

but they can also become very moody and irritable, especially at home or with family

very curious 

a certain nervousness and worry are also known for lunar gemini

he needs way more stimulation than other people

there is a lot going on inside of him

here we can also see his urge to express himself again

lunar gemini think and talk a lot

they like their homes but tend to hate housework

yunho can get a bit messy

he does like improving his home though

re-organizing is something he seems to enjoy

very easily bored

is in touch with his own emotions but he can struggle with handling others complicated emotions

inside the family he is the one getting everyone together for a meeting

doesnt like repetitive routines

yunho likes having to do a lot of stuff

very sociable, friendly and talkactive

comfortable around a lot of people and can speak well in front of crowds

very open to new ideas

wants to talk about problems as soon as possible

sharp intellect

-57 Square Moon in Mercury 

his head and heart get in the way of each other

he can be too emotional or too logical

can be very jealous and possessive

can sometimes feel the need to change partners quickly because he gets bored

imaginative sense of humor

can be hypersensitive because of mood swings

because of the what he talks, yunho tends to misrepresent himself

very happy when he can escape in his own little world 

cant find his ideal world on the outside so he creates his own, imaginative world

loves drama but reacts negatively when he is the one getting criticism 

Mercury in Pisces

soaks up feelings and moods from the people around him

which can affect his own mood quite drastically 

very tactful, tries not to offend people

15 Trine Mercury in Lilith 

can get quite provocative in communications

sees flaws very quickly

Venus in Taurus 

likes sensual surroundings

looks like he would be a satisfying lover/partner

needs to be able to depend on his partner

can become very possessive of his partner

he needs “hands on” expressions of love

loyal

cant get pushed into a relationship

likes comfortable things

he needs a lot of time

his partner would need a lot of patience

“love arrives slowly, but with force”

Venus in VI

he wants to help sick and poor people all the time

wants a job in a medical or social setting

likes being of service to his partner

goes to extreme lengths so always be available for his partner

he isnt ‘showy’ with his love/bad at expressing it but much rather shows it by his availability, doing practical things for his partner or other thoughtful things

pays attention to small details

he is scared that, if the relationship he is currently in ends, he might not be able to find better

-224 Opposition Venus in Mars

from affairs over to full blown relationships; love is what gets this boy out of bed

this can get challenging in youth

he can have a hard time finding a relationship that meets his expectations

very creative

passion for romance is often channeled in his creative output

prone to have love-hate relationships (the fanfics have been right all along)

can get angry quickly but that anger disappears just as fast as it came

likes truth and justice

he never plays false, his sentiments are deep and sincere

might be into someone older because he appreciates peoples intelligence 

-95 Square Venus in Neptune

his ideals are not always easy to achieve 

easy going

yunho is in love with being in love

very romantic

can be a little too romantic; his romantic dreams might get shattered by the reality of relationships

sees what he wants to see rather than what really is

clings to romantic delusion which can be very dangerous and unhealthy

tends to devote his all to someone who is unreachable

he is also prone to loving someone who treats him badly all while he is clinging to an idealized image of his partner

he thinks that loving someone requires self-sacrifice 

:((

Mars in Scorpio

likes to challenge himself to do the impossible

keeps his cool on the surface very well

does not let people in easily 

scorpio in mars is known for having the strongest sexual stamina

even though he tends to dislike people who break the rules, he often fantasizes about breaking taboos

he like the scenario of their partner giving into them, wants his partner completely and will do absolutely anything for them

im sweating

his sexual appeal is strong enough to get what he wants

very jealous, doesnt want to share

doesnt find pleasure in compromises: needs to hear either yes or no

constantly tests himself and others

thinks that life isnt fair  

Mars in XII

puts all of his energy into his working life

likes to research

jobs like a doctor, teacher, police officer would fit him well

he should try to give things a real shot instead of feeling defeated instantly 

he can handle a lot of things by himself in his own unique ways

works more for others than himself

ignores his own needs and desires for others which secretly makes him very angry

takes time for him to warm up to a new sexual partner

likes to solve problems

likes to overcome obstacles

he sometimes can seem cold when he is in his work-mindset

-117 Square Mars in Uranus

tends to be eccentric and too headstrong, impatient

Jupiter in Aries

attracts good things in life

he is initiating, inspiring, enthusiastic and brave

likes doing things on his own

likes games

gets distracted easily

lucky in love and his profession

adores children

generous 

yunho likes helping people in difficulty

Saturn in Taurus 

dislikes greedy people

needs to learn that he is also deserving of good things in life

likes precision

a true worker

possesses all the necessary qualities to be successful in the medical field

Uranus in Aquarius

gets overly excited when starting a task but quickly loses interest

this can give others a banal impression of him

doesnt like routines

-10 Square Uranus Lilith

he can have difficulty finding a peaceful love life because he is the type to fall in love at first sight

seeks adventures which can be harmful to his relationship

Neptune in Aquarius

generosity 

solves other peoples problems just to see them happy

cold facts are hard for him to absorb#

he can get quite nostalgic

Pluto in Sagittarius

love and sexuality are idealized

Ascendent in Scorpio

he has a lot of presence

their manners command respect and he lets people know he shouldnt get pushed around

very powerful and determined 

he can look right through people which can make him very intimidating 

he often gets confused when he earns such strong reactions from people though

yunho likes to read between the lines

values his privacy a lot, so much that it can even cause paranoia

he feels the strong urge to always be in control of his environment 

he plans out every move very carefully and lets no one look into his plans

he is drawn to down to earth and natural partners on which he can rely on

he needs full commitment because flighty partners make his patience run thin

House II in Capricorn

he sees spending and making money as an adventure which can cause financial risks for him

nothing is left to a chance

likes to calculate his plans and dissects them slowly

House IV in Aquarius

he may leave the family home very early on

wants a life that is out of the ordinary 

doesnt like traditions 

House VIII in Gemini

this placement is known for making artistic people generally very successful

House X in Leo

great leadership qualities

the way he is seen by society grows more important to him as he gets older

wants surround himself with equally artistic/influentiual people

if you really read this far...god bless u lmao

i tried keeping this as short as possible, leaving out some constantly repetitive traits and placements and trying to combine his placements rather than to dive into each one individually. please dont forget that i am doing this purely out of fun and interest. My ask box/messages are always open if you want to talk or have questions! please also let me know which member you want me to analyze next :)

[gg-astrology]

hey, i wanted to ask how can we comfort the signs? like idk which planets we need to look at (moon, sun or the others?) but could you maybe do a brief description on how to make them feel better?

Hey there! ❤️💕 What a great ask! ❤️💕 

The Twelve Signs + Comforting?  ⬇️

On the topic of Comforting Someone

Premise

I’d say probably to be genuine and open to helping in your own way/what you can first of all, I know sometimes people just need to see others accept them and their feelings in the moment. 

Learning how different people operate and what they’re comfortable with comes with trail and error sometimes (and I’m probably not an expert on this yet) – but learning how to take on a supporting role or express what you can (able to take criticism and know that this isn’t about you, but how you could make it better/what you can learn from it) can help not just them but you a lot as well.

So just so that’s clear, this is a learn-able skill that we can learn and get better on. Trail and error happens, accept apologize and use it to be better (taking it personally as your own expression being criticized makes this about you and not them, the person who actually needs supporting/comforting). You’ll know when someone is victimizing themselves or manipulating the narrative, I’m saying the above for people who wants to get out of that habit (self-realization and cutting off toxic behaviors) as well. Be genuine, be yourself. But also be open to learning and change and seeking different ways we can learn to not feel so helpless/stiff comforting those around us.

Anyways now that that’s out of the way – people are self-sufficient to an extent, if someone needs time away to go do something you can just prepare for their comeback and provide supplementary support then instead. If someone comes back with unhealthy prejudice/mentality, this is where the supplementary support comes in. You’re essentially checking in on them and helping them help themselves be a better/healthier them. But it’s not your role to take on their problem/stressors, you’re there to help them be a better them. I hope this resonates with people out there who needs to hear this ❤️💕

Considering I was going to say looking at their overall placements would help, again you don’t have to take on the role of handling the responsibility for them so don’t feel like you ‘oh libra mars so this would help, oh cancer moon so this would help’ – don’t stretch yourself trying to do everything, they are self-sufficient. You’re there for support and to help witness their growth themselves.

Because it’s everything that’s going on, people are multi-faceted. There’s no one right or wrong way to comfort someone, they can adapt and grow and take on multiple expressions of others to help themselves as well. 

That’s why being genuine is important, you’re only you and you’re trying to help them as much as you can. I think for this answer, learning about the person helps a lot more because you also need to see where your expression/you fit into that person as well. 

Anyways, that’s a long ramble incase anyone needed it. I get what you’re asking though, I’m just thinking of all the ways this answer could go.

Like say you a Capricorn, I could say recognizing their strength and paying attention to them (genuinely, not overly stressed but sincerely) would help. And it would. But also this Capricorn has a Virgo Moon/MC, sometimes they can stubbornly deflect any compliment that comes their way when they’re in their space/feels queasy about it.

This Capricorn/Virgo could also have Cancer in 8th, they may not realize they need emotional support when they hit their lows. But a fateful meeting with a Cancer who could provide/show them genuine ‘im in your corner’ despite them not being able to do that or even consider it for others (the Capricorn/Virgo) can change the game for them (nurture). It’s in the chart (nature) – Cancer in 8th is right there (nature activated by nurture) — that impact once felt by someone being in their house (planet falling there and actually activating it) mean the Cancer’s genuinity and sense of expression ( the supporter/comforting person) helped the Capricorn and made them realize it themselves too.

So there’s different levels and complexity to this… but I get what you mean. Like it’s just good to have something to ballmark in order to ‘start’ that connection with them. It can be your younger sibling who you’re trying to y know, provide support and figure out the best way to help their nature be good foundation for their future nurture. It can be a friend who you’ve never seen broken down, suddenly needing some kind of support from you and you just want to know what/when/how to help.

I can’t answer a straight-forward answer since it depends on them, depends on you, depends on a lot of things. But I can help loosely/briefly, the bare stuff I’ve experienced myself that might be a place to start for you too? (again, I’m not an expert on this either I’m sorry ;;) ❤️💕

**again this is just my experience and this isn’t something that is completely definite for everyone so please use your own discretion about it too**

Aries - they’re not as unwilling to listen to you as you think they are. Their own vulnerabilities themselves doesn’t always come easy when it comes to expressing it out first (and unrolling the carpet there completely)  

Take the lead, speak genuinely about your own experience/heart and show your vulnerabilities first if you can. They’re willing to listen and understand it if it’s you – they’d much rather be in a position where they can keep their strength and you can respect that.

So take that lead and come to them equally –  this is an equal relationship and you’re taking on a role that allows them to keep a part of their strength to help you. But they are willing to learn and listen. After saying your peace, tell them what you figured out and how this connect you to them if that’s how you feel/think.

For me, I’m saying ‘this is something i want to work on, something i’ll have to get better at’ and look them in the eye and ask ‘what about you? what do you think?’ – at the end of it, I usually go ‘let’s work on it together. We can have this thing individual– both, together. Let’s work hard.’

In the case that your Aries is frustrated, needs comforting and you’re approaching them. Bring your experience forward and have that connection with them, where you are individual people who respect your difference but uplifts each other up. ‘Lets work on it together’ helps a lot. Let them have their strength, and believe in it for them without making them feel weak.   

Taurus - sometimes they just want to be accepted when they frustrate over a problem themselves. Their minds and emotions can be muddled, they think they shouldn’t care but they don’t realize it’s just sitting and waiting ready for them to actually confront the problem.

Don’t confront the problem for them lmao, let them air out their steam and remember to remind them that you’re there (presence wise).

You don’t have to be equally heated about the issue as they are, you just have to be willing to listen and understand them first. Usually, help with clarifications and asking ‘well, what do you want?’ helps (not as— y know, dismissive as it sounds) clarifications or explaining your thoughts/opinions also helps. If they go ‘no that’s not possible’ then don’t press it. It’s in their mind, you can only just hold their hand and listen to them talk more. Again, expressing your clarification on the thought patiently and thoughtfully helps. If it comes down to rotating the same advice over and over again for them to finally hear it– so be it. Be their soundboard if you have the time.

You can’t help them if they’re brooding in their problems, if it’s a bad day and they’re in a Mood. Just your presence is enough, be kind and open, be yourself and understanding. Have patience when they finally lose their cool, and encourage them actually to not repress/keep things in and actually talk about it to you—  because they should talk about problems, it’s not ‘nothing’ and it’s not invalid. Try to guide them in dropping bad habits/muddled up thoughts, and eventually they’ll learn and grow. They’ll appreciate your presence through their tough times as well.  

Gemini - honestly, a little structure won’t hurt you. Usually you can leave them be, when they come to you they probably already has an opinion/something figured out so they just need to exchange that information around– they’re not usually asking for your opinion about it, but hear them out and pick out the part that you think is interesting/they can go further with (active listener)

You don’t actually have to participate in giving them advice but they would appreciate if you could respond back or give feedback, you don’t really have to worry about holding a conversation just as long as you come to them without a guarded heart and is just being yourself as well. Be fun, be serious, have opinions or have passion about something. They aren’t looking for you to focus or look directly at them – they’re just looking for you to be you and together you can share that together.

A Gemini distressed and needing comfort is one that probably in the midst of working it out on their own – their anxiety is making them zoom around trying to see what they can do, resources, things to figure it out. Let them and be there are supplementary support. You don’t have to offer to help them with their problems, they’re kinda self-sufficient. But what you can do is to ask them to tell you what’s up or what’s happening, generally just speaking it out loud into existence and having the space/human to hear them through tends to help them out a lot as well.

Cancer - a distressed cancer, besides reassuring them and (honestly) just apologizing before reasoning out why you’ve hurt them by being insensitive at a time they expected certain sensitivity from you. You can also hear them out, accept the part that is your flaw (your lack of sensitivity/consideration during the time and a promise to be better/prove it as well) and then get it straight with them.

A cancer who needs comforting is the one who would appreciate your support the most, and that support doesn’t have to be purely emotional. This is an opportunity to build an understanding of each other– you, understanding that emotional need is important (and therefore not invalidating the pain they feel) – as well as you being as objective as possible, explaining how you see the problem to them.

You’re a team, you’re working together. You aren’t trying to demean or devalue each other, you’re trying to progress together.

So as you have it, you gotta validate and voice out their strength while being inspired by them as well. They in turn– will show you the same kind of cordial respect, and you can help them by expressing part of your strength you want to help them grow into having as well.

Again, you aren’t growing into each other, you’re growing up together. Be their support, be the believer in them as much as they do in you. You can learn a lot from each other even when the Cancer needs comforting. Let them know they bring you strength, this isn’t about appreciation as it is about making hurtful things ease up/become more tolerable/easier to accept that it doesn’t hit so personally anymore and you can both grow to have balance in both.

Leo - sometimes, you just have to wrap them up and take the wheel for them. Leadership is knowing that you can’t hold one role (the strength) all the time. You aren’t a good leader if you can’t be part of the group being lead as well. 

Sometimes the biggest help a Leo can get is coming to meet someone sure and confident in what they’re doing without being particularly aggressive/compensative about it (in this moment/context). 

Showing/expressing what they’re going to do without making things so complicated and nuanced all the time. 

It’s just them, this is natural and comfortable for them. No this person isn’t making exceptions for the Leo, this is for them as much as it is for the Leo and this is how they fit together so well. It’s natural, and it’s them leading this time to open the ground up for the Leo to feel comfortable being in that presence (sharing that space) too. 

So in this case, this really isn’t about the Leo. But about you and how ‘you’ you are when they need to be reminded it’s okay to be ‘them’ them as well.

Rather than talk more about appreciation and attention and being there (which you probably should already if someone wants that) – this is about you proving yourself without doing so. You’re you. And thus, in the presence of you being you– they are allowed and accepted to be them them as well. 

The idea is that, people are allowed to turn up– and turn down. None of these are unnatural and sometimes we get into the habit of being distinctive between these two all the time. Distressed and comfort comes from feeling the stability of those modes of ‘us’ having to adjust or adapt. Thus – opening up a space where they can feel comfortable testing the waters and getting ok with it is something that can help them out a lot.

If it’s not about opening space up for them, and this is about them. Comforting a Leo is the easiest because you can’t go wrong with giving more and more to them. There’s no such thing as moderation, just give to them. Sometimes that’s literally all it takes, whether they ask to be taken in consideration for or be taken seriously. Whether they want to play/given attention, whether it’s something else. You can’t go wrong with just listening and being okay with them. Just spend some time with them and give them your full energy, that’s all it takes. (It’s the accumulation of it that matters, literally just give in and that’s all it is)  

Virgo - Surprisingly, socializing helps them out a lot more than keeping to themselves. God knows they really do just keep to themselves though, their normal mode is isolation. For anything at all, if they think they need to ‘focus’ on something just watch your Virgo go into self-isolation mode again (some are introverts but that doesn’t mean it should be made an excuse if you’re not working well as an introvert either y know – detriment habits are detriment habits, how much people/socializing you can take is up to you/depends on the person.) 

But – the thing here is that, that doesn’t necessarily help them because going out of their own mind, breaking and putting yourself back together isn’t exactly effective coping mechanism just saying. They work well if they keep that very specific ‘edge’ or momentum yeah – but that’s literally stepping on a wire trying to tight-rope and going ‘I Know What I’m Doing! God! I don’t need Safety Precautions!’ 

So.. for Virgos. Comforting them means dragging them out and just letting them work it out on their own that they do better with people than alone. Your Virgo will use their usual sharp tongue and displeasure 100x to voice it out sometimes – but here’s the deal. Someone has to know what’s going on.

Despite them thinking they know best (or you being convinced by them – that maybe stepping back and going ‘oh ok theyre gonna be fine’ is going to be ‘okay’—but when it doesn’t work out that way, you both will just watch them crash and burn to something that could be prevented if one of you step up your game)  

They usually don’t know best. Virgos know this– you don’t know best! And that’s okay!! Because that keeps you driving and hungry for more things to work on!! It’s your sense of drive and part of your essence!!! That’s your strength not your vulnerabilities!! That’s perfectly fine!! It’s just– other people need to know that you do know you don’t know best too!! 

But Virgos won’t admit to it, because they don’t want to be taken advantage of and who knows what other people are going to trample over (accidentally or not) – if they themselves don’t know them best (Virgos), then who’s to say other people will have a better idea about them than say – them (Virgos)?? 

That’s why part of comforting a Virgo is acknowledging that they don’t know best (but not stepping over that line y know) –  sometimes someone should take the wheel for them and be wiser than them because they don’t have all the answers. But like– have some senses about it y know?

Libra - Honestly unless they actually speak up about it themselves (the situation/problems) as far as they’re concerned there Isn’t a problem and if there is – they want to figure shit out on their own first. Kinda like gemini– except they may for-go social interaction in order to brood and do their own stuff (with other people).

Let them rant, or talk about it. Just listen to them because honestly, they want to figure shit out on their own but they just need to know you’ve listened, reaffirm and came up with a bit of possible solutions that you aren’t forcing onto them as well (because they probably won’t take it or will weigh it in their mind a bit more before figuring out something themselves) 

The thing is they probably don’t want you to remember them for their vulnerabilities which is – y know, it’s about impressions and impact that can have on others. 

Besides vulnerability being something that makes people go ‘oh god what if they remember my weak moments and use it against me’ – or just the overall dynamic/balance of the relationship y know? Like the overall picture of the relationship (over time) – what does it consist of and what can they minimize on? 

If those vulnerabilities became part of the relationship as an Impact Impression of them, they’d much rather be remembered for getting through and moving past it. Which is why most of the time– Libras would divert your attention away from their actual problems/things that are new developments in them that they have to figure out first before they expose them to anyone. 

It can take a while for them to open up or even accept comfort thats not just– y know, cordial niceties with appropriate distance away from each other. Usually if your dynamic and roles are tight – they know their part and you know yours. They’re well aware of your openness and experience with the problems, they’ll consult you about it. The push-pull of the dynamic is an add on, it makes it easier for the Libra to trust that partnership with someone and talk to them as well (*depending on what dynamic/partnership it is honestly).

(Also, sometimes if it’s not that serious you can just pamper them. Pampering helps. And I don’t mean that in an overdone way.) 

Scorpio - I don’t know why they’re the easiest/most natural to comfort to me?? Like Scorpio comforting is literally to just take them seriously and be there for them. That’s literally it. 

You– you literally don’t have to agree with their thinking/ideologies all the time because god knows they can be messed up sometimes (and they’re allowed to be, that’s part of being human?) 

Sometimes they just need to have their emotions supported, be there for them. Be present. React and reach out with your own integrity. This is literally all it takes– to not make light or dismiss/wave away their feelings. It’s not something you can go ‘I’m sorry bub’ and then go ‘anyways this thing happen’ and push it back onto you or skitter around hesitantly. Just care for them? But like, don’t push yourself onto them right now, y know? Be sure and honest. That’s literally it.

More than anything, they just want sincerity that’s clear and simplified. Truthful and honest, nothing indecisive or ulterior about it.  

It won’t hurt their feelings, you just gotta open up the space with them and let them talk about things/share things with you. And you can do the same back. You better have your own ideas/solutions and expressions as well. Don’t be a useless bub, intensity isn’t as scary as you think– if you don’t understand something, just say it rather than fibbing them (god you just have to be honest and truthful with them in whatever capacity you can be honestly?)

Even when they’re hurt, they aren’t unreasonable. Rather even when they’re hurt they’re still a reasonable person who has their own explanation for things. So you honestly don’t have to be so afraid to come to them with your full sincerity and genuinely with your thoughts?

You’re trying to help them and comfort them, the best thing you can do for them is to be just as honest and open about your thinking. Touch them with your heart instead of trying to reach them with anything else? Because your heart– that’s the thing that shines the most. 

This isn’t about what you’re saying or having to be worried about how to say it – as long as your heart is in it to be there to help them 100% 

Match up, that’s all it takes honestly. The rest of it, we’ll figure it out as we move further.

Sagittarius - reaching out to them helps. Like honestly, I think if you’ve ever interacted with a Sagittarius you’d know ‘oh they have alone moments’ where they go off by themselves. But honestly– reach out to them, with no expectations y know?

Expectations kills the deal honestly. Let them go escape and go off on their own world, comforting a Sagittarius means leaving them messages with no pressure for them to reply immediately or at an appropriate time. You’re just sending them in because you think of them and stuff. You yourself should be capable of holding one side conversation sometimes too.

It’s reassuring when you may be unavailable but your close friends still invites you out to places but understands your different availabilities as well. It’s not reassuring when they ‘assume’ things about you. Assumptions and expectations kills everything, that’s like– the death of comfort for them honestly.

So to comfort them, let them know there’s space/place for them when they return. Leave that space open, it isn’t affected by time/effort/expectations/assumptions. 

You leaving for a period of time as well – consumed by other stuff that needs attention too in your life– doesn’t mean that you don’t care about them, gave up on them or is hurt somehow in their absence. 

Let them know they can take time and security in your relationship, that their own health matters too. Part of their problem is they can sometimes be bad at multi-tasking things and their own health, so when they’re about to break – remind them by gently forcing them to go take breaks because you can see them wrecking around the seams. Keep in contact honestly, if not for your sake– for theirs. Just do it.

Sometimes they just have to go, set the bar real low for them. You don’t have a bar. The bar doesn’t exist. All that exists is your relationship in an infinite space/time condendum that says your relationship relies on mutual freedom and space. That’s literally it.

Capricorn - me, a capricorn. Having absolutely no idea how to comfort a capricorn. Actually I DO know, the opposite of Sagittarius. Be there for them. Check in on them but don’t be forceful or nosey. Here’s the thing– when a Capricorn unloads, it’s a lot and it’s heavy. Think of it as a ratio, if you come here already pushing 80% of your emotions onto them, they’re gonna be reluctant to accept comfort from you because that leaves 20% for them and ugh what the hell are they gonna say/keep back in that 20%?

Come to them with 0% empty space and let them paint, fill it up with their thoughts and weight. They’re great painters (metaphorically) honestly, you just got to give them a big enough canvas so they don’t have to be afraid of running out of space while doing it.

Getting a Capricorn to open up is in stages, that’s why you need 0% empty space. They won’t spill everything at once, they’re gonna unload the first layer and see how you deal with it. And then if you’re ok (don’t be close-ended/think that’s over and done with) – they’ll unload a follow up to that, a deeper level to it. 

You really can’t take it for granted, because the way they do it is like a story report/update of their internal being that unfurls in layers, and has a narrative that links to one another – so it builds on each other, everything is connected and it’s different faucets of them. It’s from their perspective, so that part is consistent. But if you can see the deeper story, they’re multi-faceted and they want you to see/acknowledge that. To point it out and help them acknowledge it, they don’t want to be one-dimensional to others y know?

Let them unfurl and paint their story, honestly. You’re the art appreciator, and your words and comments have an impact on the next piece of painting as much as they themselves do. Appreciate that in them.

Aquarius - this is like a mix of Capricorn (eyy saturnian friend) and air sign aversion tactic which is: you kind of have to be there for them with your genuinity/from the heart – actually hear what they say/are saying. 

Comforting an Aquarius means they might not feel completely 100% opening up to you about everything unconditionally – they’ll kinda evaluate how wise and open you are on the topic. 

Because what they’re trying to figure out can spiral down a rabbit hole where they have to understand it themselves (rather than adopt/take yours) So most likely, you can have your opinion – but make sure you don’t assume or think that your opinion is the end-all be all for them. 

The Aquarius will work it out in further detail on their own, they’d appreciate having your support, open-mindedness and understanding of the topic (hearing what you have to say about it)  – at the same time, what matters most is that they can find their own way across the street.

It’s not the same when you’re going to a new place with someone, and have them guide you through it/give you tips and tricks. Versus you going to a new place and being capable of navigating yourself through the street with your own gps/guidance now. 

 It’s kind of like that, they appreciate comfort for sure. But unless they can understand it for what it is – it’s value/worth and experience with it. Sometimes comfort is in the presence and open-mindedness/wisdom, and they’re the one who might just need a little push sometimes to get their footing back again.

On the other hand, I kinda understand that sometimes opening up you’re afraid of people disillusions about you. Not wanting to not be genuine or how to explain complexity— like how we’re always growing/moving and sometimes we shift away from who we were before into who we are now. Reconnecting with someone who doesn’t share the same experience or understanding can be uncomfortable and jarring, especially since it’s not the Aquarius’s responsibility to teach/educate them about years worth of growth/development if they haven’t found out about it themselves as well (or go out and reach it).

Pisces -  Let them spill their problems, honestly being an open and reactionary listener helps a lot. They don’t want your advice, you just have to ask and actually be open to hearing what they have to say. 

Much like Sagittarius, being an open space helps. In the case of Pisces, sometimes you have to change your outlet to let them plug in because they have different latitude of problem sometimes (they won’t burden you with their problems if they think you’re not ‘there’ yet or understand/have experienced with the problem yourself– so taking notice of this/what theirs is and then bringing it up and being open with them helps a lot). 

Comforting a Pisces means letting them know that you do love and care for them, verbal reassurance helps a lot even if you don’t know it. Don’t be afraid to sink deeper into emotional territory, if you want to explain the things that made you miss them and why– they won’t be opposed to understanding more of you either (take yourself seriously, and take your emotional importance seriously honestly– so they can take you seriously as well) .

They’re very low-maintenance and that’s a good thing, check in when you can and don’t be afraid to let them know whats on your mind/how you miss them. 

If you don’t have much time due to your busy daily life – just expressing some of your affection in the narrow gap where you can (between your activities) is honestly good enough. Be sincere and affectionate– a breath of fresh air of honesty and affection/emotionality helps gives them support and quells some of their worries/warms their heart.

Approaching them with a comforting heart and the ability to listen, the ability to open spaces up for them helps so much. Talk about expressions and emotions, about activities and interests. You honestly can’t go wrong with knowing how to love and comfort a Pisces – you literally just have to have space for self-expression and being considerate towards them. That’s all there is to it?

[missjackil]

Season 8

I’ve seen a lot of discussion about Season 8 lately, most of you hate it, or at least the first half. Understandable really, it was a train wreck! I will go on record to say that yes, Sam was very OOC for not looking for Dean, but it’s canon, so we do have to accept it. 

I do think however, I may understand what Carver was going for with it. I’m not saying it was executed well, but from what all happened in the previous seasons, I think it was very important to establish who the brothers are to each other. Looking back through every season before this one, though there were some very good broments a lot the way, there were a lot of unnecessary fights, lies, insults and mistrust. How could they really sell to us how deeply they love each other while they keep hurting each other so badly? 

In this essay, I may come down hard on both brothers at times. Please dont take it that I hate either or that I’m a stan for one or the other. I love these boys... flaws and all, so if you’re okay hearing your fav isnt always perfect (whichever bro that might be) please continue :)

In the beginning of Season 8, we have this strange, awkward, and OOC clusterfuck that we all blame bad writing for. And it was, I agree, and so do Jared and Jensen, but they both love where it led and are proud of the finished product. 

I’ll start with the major OOC elephant in the room that is Sam not looking for Dean. He never really gives us a reason, even though later in the season he says that his whole world imploded, came raining down on him and he ran. We have to keep that as the only canonical reason as to why he didn't, so we only have headcanons to fill in the blanks. My main concern with it really is just that I am sure that Sam would have at least established Dean was dead for real, before moving on. There were no bodies, or even any blood, to indicate that Dean might be dead. I do believe that Sam would have or should have at least bought an Ouija Board , but then what could he do? Everyone he knew who could help him was dead. All the lore books they’d been using for 7 years were burned up in Bobby’s house. All that was left was Dad’s journal which had very little information in it. So he accepts Crowley’s words “You are in fact truly on your own”, fixed up the Impala and drove. 

I don't believe Sam was suicidal. Crushed yes, depressed as hell but he won't kill himself without helping people in some way. Same with Dean. They may have wanted to die and would welcome death many times, but they're selfless martyrs, they won't eat a bullet or drive off a bridge, unless it was for a greater good. So Sam didnt look for Dean, because “Dean wouldnt want that” as we saw how pissed Dean was at Sam in S4 when he thought Sam sprung him from Hell, Sam had to remember that.  Sam also knows he wanted Dean to have a normal life when he was gone, and Dean was nearly successful. Also, in the very same episode that Dean apparently died in, Bobby told them both upon leaving, “when it’s your time... go” So Sam most likely thought Dean would be proud of him if he moved on. That IS why Dean taught him how to fix the Impala a few years back right?

So Sam tries to move on. I hated Amelia, but I dont think we were ever supposed to really like her or “ship” them, we were supposed to feel the fakeness, how awkward and just wrong it was. Sam never looked content with her, even though once she stopped treating him like trash, he smiled a lot, he never seemed happy. She was nothing more to him than a grief partner and a physical distraction. He probably enjoyed playing house though, having a dog, getting a paycheck, but it wasn't really his life. 

Meanwhile, Dean is in Purgatory with Cas and Benny, fighting monsters every day all day for a year. And this isn't a bad place for Dean honestly, he even referred to it as his “happy place” later, but it wasn't home, and Sam wasn't there. So in addition to slashing monsters all day, Dean was trying to find his way out to get back to Sam and their life. 

Dean comes out and finally, he meets back up with Sam. The reunion hug was amazing! One of my favorites. they both looked genuinely happy to be with their brother again, but it was sadly short-lived.  When Dean told Sam he wasn’t dead, he was in Purgatory, you can see the color leave Sam’s face. Like “Shit, I fucked up, I should have looked for him.” and then comes Sam’s big reveal that he got out of hunting. Watch how he says this. He’s not hiding it, he’s kind of cheerful about it, not like when Dean came back from Hell and he knew he was doing something Dean would be pissed at, he may have THOUGHT Dean would be pleased that he tried to move on, but obviously, Dean was not. 

Im not blaming either of them for what they felt. They’re both justified in it. Sam felt like Dean would want this for him, and Dean felt like Sam was out there looking for him, or at least missing him terribly, and needed to get back. Imagine if you will, as each other's spouse. One goes off to war, goes MIA and is presumed dead, though no body is found. It may have been established beforehand that if anything happened to the soldier, that his remaining spouse is to move on with their life. However the soldier isn't dead, he’s a POW and he busts his ass for a year to try to get home. You bet he’s going to be pissed off when he gets home to see his spouse DID move on and didn't even ask for proof he was dead first. 

Now we have Dean angry with Sam, Sam feeling guilty, but not willing to take the griping, so he’s going to fire back, and start threatening to leave. We have known from day 1 that Dean doesn't want Sam to abandon him. But he feels like Sam abandoned him in Purgatory, and now he’s trying to abandon him in the real world. 

I feel like, at this point, Sam felt like he had the upper hand. He had the “Stop nagging me or I'm out” card, but he didn't know Dean had a card left to play either. He had the “Leave me and I'll replace you” card.  This takes us to when Sam met Benny. Sam had been looking at schools again, weighing his options, so Dean thought it was time to introduce him to Benny. 

Dean hadn't seen Benny since they got back, so had he and Sam been in good graces, I don't think Dean would have run out to help him when he called, or at least he wouldn't have been secretive about it, but they were on shaky terms and if Sam wanted to play emotional chicken with him, Dean can play this game too. There was no reason at all for Dean to have told Sam to meet him at the dock. Dean had his car, Sam had to steal one to get there. Sam rushes because he thinks Dean needs him, and now he’s not answering his phone, and Sam is panicking. Dean had told him he was on this hunt with a friend, but Dean doesnt have any friends right? Certainly none he can trust to have his back in a hunt right? Dean must be in trouble! However, when Sam gets to the dock, Dean is pulling up with this big dude. The camera focuses on Sam and Benny’s hands long enough for us to notice that Benny’s hand is bigger than Sam’s. Sam turns from pissed off brother, reluctant hunting partner, to jealous spouse in 60 seconds. He goes for his blade, he’s going to kill this bastard! Dean shakes his head.... “no”. Sam had no idea Benny was a Vamp at that point, he was going to kill his replacement. Dean got this, oh so smug look on his face “Go ahead and leave me.... but don't think I’ll be alone”.

I'm going to leave it there because I don't want to analyze the entire season. What I want to show you is that Carver must have wanted to deconstruct the entire relationship, look at each piece of it, and show it to us, and then put it back together by the end of the season. By the end of Sacrifice, we learned Dean doesn't want to be without Sam but is willing to let Sam go and live his normal life, but to do that Dean wants to go out saving the world so Sam and everyone else can be safe. Sam doesn't want to be without Dean, but he thinks he's lost Dean’s trust, and he’s been replaced by Benny, Cas and holds Dean back from doing what he wants, so he’s going to save the world, even though it’s going to kill him in the process. 

Dean had told Sam that he didn't burn Benny’s body when he killed him, and Sam said he understood, and he might need him later. 

So I hope you can see why I feel Carver did this. I for one knew that Sam and Dean loved each other, but I honestly didnt see this “nothing comes before you” type bond before S8. So he took everything, from the very root, in the beginning, and laid it all out on the table for us, before giving us this epic defining moment in the Church between Sam and Dean. Sam would rather die than lose his place with Dean, and Dean would rather kill them all and let the world burn than to lose Sam, 

So even though I think the beginning was poorly executed, I do appreciate what it was showing us and I love the finished product. There hasn't been a more defining season in the whole series. As much as you might hate S8, you probably wont ever put the church scene out of your mind, and what led up to it. So, in my humble opinion, rocky start Mr Carver, but well played 🙌

[nursexpeditions]

i’m bracing for the worst and hoping for the best, trying to make sense of the madness in my head

I felt so much that I started to feel nothing. One of the hardest battles we fight is between what we know and what we feel. It’s both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply. I withdraw from people and places from time to time. I need space from a world that is filled with millions of mouths that talk too much but never have anything good to say. 

These thoughts, they’re sharp enough to tear through my bare skin, through my muscle, then slowly eat away at my bones, and before you know it, they’re cutting away at my heartstrings. My heart beats, so loud and so fast that you’d think I was running for the gold medal at an Olympics event. Anxiety so fierce not even a Xanax or a bottle of liquor would be able to calm the storm I’m fighting. All i see is the slow erosion of self, as insidious as cancer, and like cancer, it is essentially a solitary experience, a room in hell with only my name on the door.

I hear “what's wrong” or “you’re overthinking.” A blank screen appears in my head and I think to myself who have I become? What has made me into this monster? I look in the mirror and only do I realize that it’s been me this whole time. How inconvenient when you’re the firestorm burning everything in your path. 

“But he that dares not grasp the thorn, should never crave the rose.”

In these instances, I wanted to tell you how impossible it feels in these situations. It’s like trying to hold water in the palm of your hands, like trying to prevent an ice cube from melting in the summer, like attempting to run through the water. It’s not possible, yet here I try so hard. 

Someone with anxiety is inclined to assume everyone is going to leave. So much so that sometimes they might be the ones to ruin a relationship. I ruined many things that could’ve been amazing just because I was sad. 

The truth is, I battle something I can’t control and there is a sense of insecurity within myself when it comes to relationships. It’s hard sometimes. I create stupid fights of scenarios that I created in my head. I’m going to jump from point A to point B without even knowing all the details, and sometimes you’re not even going to understand how I got there. The best thing you can do for me is understanding how I went off on that tangent. Even if there’s no solution, the act of listening helps. I know in your eyes, it might seem irrational; but to me, it’s something that actually keeps me up at night, and I probably won’t sleep through the night because of it. It’s definitely not that I don’t trust you, but because I’m more scared than anything. 

It’s every worst-case scenario automatically playing out in my head and trust me, I already hate myself for it. By now you’ve probably noticed how fast i answer you, and for example, it helps when you say i can’t talk right now and this is why i’ll text you later. Silence kills anyone with anxiety and creates a hostile environment for problems that aren’t even there. It ends in apologies that aren’t even needed and adds layers of stress to my life that I wish i could control. 

I’ve realized my anxiety manifests in two ways, i’ll either be quiet and awkward, or you’ll be carrying me out as I choose my poison to ease my worries. Whether its a night out gone wrong, or an essay of a text saying or doing the wrong thing, I’m very observant and pick up on the slightest shift in behavior.

I would rather have meltdowns biting off more than I can chew because I have a hard time admitting I can’t handle something. I will always say yes and I will never turn anyone away which is my biggest weakness. I say help when you can but know when you can’t because I’m inclined to not ask for help since I’m used to dealing with things on my own.

..But that’s exactly where i’m flawed. The deepest pain i ever felt was denying my own feelings to make everyone else comfortable. Just because I bury something doesn’t mean that it stops existing. I was willing to suffer as long as you had what you wanted in life to make you happy. Where do you draw the line in sacrificing too much of yourself to make a relationship work? 

For a while, I kept telling myself I was dealing with it the way that i am currently and doing this for the success of our relationship and that was enough for me at the time, but if i’m being honest, the more I think about it and the more time i spend with you, the more i want to move on with my life with you and if you feel the same, i need to feel or see that you’re taking the steps to as well. 

I get that the situation itself is complicated, but lets face it, that will never change. It’s like we’re waiting for it to miraculously uncomplicate itself one day, but in reality, it never will. I realize now i’ve been waiting for a day that will never come. Because at the end of each day, what are we REALLY waiting for? What will taking more time do for anyone? You and her will forever have history. You and her will always be close friends. You are a part of her life just as you are a part of mine and that’s something i’ve accepted just as she’s accepted that I am your significant other now (so you say). IThe most important question here is, what will waiting or taking up more time do for anyone? More time to be prepare ourselves? More time to be “ready” to face the inevitable? If anything, we are only prolonging the inevitable. 

But hey, you did have a point, there is a certain justified amount of “time” we should take before going to the next step, but that justified length of time for that window, in my opinion, has certainly passed.

I continually feel like the bad guy whenever i tell you that i’m uncomfortable with your interactions with her. It first started just as hanging out with her, but then it got more complicated to having to switch off being butters caretaker, traveling from city to city, at times having to be okay with your stay over for your own health and well being, and honestly the hard truth is that i’m just expected to deal with it. I know you ask and try to do things that will help alleviate all my anxiety but when will enough be enough? now family interactions? i didn’t even think it could get worse, and i must sound like the most fucking horrible selfish devil human being on this fucking planet because who in their right mind is even uncomfortable in a situation like this? I mean that takes one special fucked up person??? 

If we put all the cards on the table, its clear that I don’t think anyone will ever truly be prepared or ready for this, but it’s a bridge that needs to be crossed for the health of this relationship and i hope that you agree with me. I need to know i’ll be set up for success moving forward in this relationship because it’s absolutely nearly impossible to be supportive of you, trying to be supportive of her, let alone someone that has always been a threat to me. Its just not a good feeling for me. If she’s not a threat to me, then please help me see that. I want to be able to communicate with the people that are closest to you without feeling like i’m in the shadows. I don’t know how i’m supposed to go on knowing there’s this microportion of you that i want to know that i know nothing about because we aren’t ready to face the music. I need some sort of assurance that there will be steps taken to facilitate this change i think is essential to our relationship.

My thoughts have driven me so far that I’ve had completely absurd thoughts where there’s an instance where I can’t go out with your chino friends with you because she’s there but then when she’s not its absolutely okay to come. I used to make excuses that would validate me not going because i dont know them, but i’ve met and hung and talked to all of them and i’d say we all get along. But what do you do when those “overthinking” thoughts actually turn into reality? I don’t think i’ve told you but I’ve been in situation that I presumed worst-case scenario in my head that has permanently scarred me and has worsened my anxiety episodes since. In a perfect world, I imagine a future with both my friends and your friends in one room regardless of their relationship to you or i and i think thats why it’s so important to me to move forward and finally get some peace of mind. 

I know my feelings are valid and it has been reinforced many times. We have plenty conversation about its importance and therefore I know that my feelings matter and are important. I’m continually uncomfortable in this situation and something has to change. Im not proud of any of this because i know that it’s so fucking ugly to feel and be this way and it’s unattractive more than anything and i feel so fucking ashamed of myself having to even stoop this low. I feel an itching desire to tear off my own skin on my body to get myself out of the outfit i hate most on myself, on my own person. I itch to be better for you and constantly feel like i’m failing myself, failing you, failing us for not being able to get over my fucking self and tormenting thoughts. 

As i dig deeper into my core, i find that it’s most terrifying for me because I’ve never met someone capable of calming my storm. Those overwhelming anxious grey heavy clouds weighing over my shoulders or those lonely strikes of anxiety and depression. But you hold my hand and I swear my breaths come easier; maybe you make me feel safe, or maybe your smile pushes the hurricane out into the ocean.

If there’s something I’m good at in this life, its love. If there’s something I will stand for and be proud of in this body of mine, it’s my ability to show you how much i adore and appreciate you. It took a while to build trust, but now that we’re in this place, my hope is that my capacity to love you will fill you in ways you didn’t know were empty or even missing something. My one hope is that you can see past my imperfections and fight to help waver through them with me. I endure because i love. I survive because I endure. I win because I love.

[vesku56]

“So, I’m a Liberal.” - Written by Lori Gallagher Witt

“An open letter to friends and family who are shocked to discover I’m a liberal... I've always been a liberal, but that doesn't mean what a lot of you apparently think it does.

Let's break it down, shall we? Because quite frankly, I'm getting a little tired of being told what I believe and what I stand for. Spoiler alert: Not every liberal is the same, though the majority of liberals I know think along roughly these same lines:

1. I believe a country should take care of its weakest members. A country cannot call itself civilized when its children, disabled, sick, and elderly are neglected. Period.

2. I believe healthcare is a right, not a privilege. Somehow that's interpreted as "I believe Obamacare is the end-all, be-all." This is not the case. I'm fully aware that the ACA has problems, that a national healthcare system would require everyone to chip in, and that it's impossible to create one that is devoid of flaws, but I have yet to hear an argument against it that makes "let people die because they can't afford healthcare" a better alternative. I believe healthcare should be far cheaper than it is, and that everyone should have access to it. And no, I'm not opposed to paying higher taxes in the name of making that happen.

3. I believe education should be affordable and accessible to everyone. It doesn't necessarily have to be free (though it works in other countries so I'm mystified as to why it can't work in the US), but at the end of the day, there is no excuse for students graduating college saddled with five- or six-figure debt.

4. I don't believe your money should be taken from you and given to people who don't want to work. I have literally never encountered anyone who believes this. Ever. I just have a massive moral problem with a society where a handful of people can possess the majority of the wealth while there are people literally starving to death, freezing to death, or dying because they can't afford to go to the doctor. Fair wages, lower housing costs, universal healthcare, affordable education, and the wealthy actually paying their share would go a long way toward alleviating this. Somehow believing that makes me a communist.

5. I don't throw around "I'm willing to pay higher taxes" lightly. If I'm suggesting something that involves paying more, well, it's because I'm fine with paying my share as long as it's actually going to something besides lining corporate pockets or bombing other countries while Americans die without healthcare.

6. I believe companies should be required to pay their employees a decent, livable wage. Somehow this is always interpreted as me wanting burger flippers to be able to afford a penthouse apartment and a Mercedes. What it actually means is that no one should have to work three full-time jobs just to keep their head above water.

Restaurant servers should not have to rely on tips, multibillion-dollar companies should not have employees on food stamps, workers shouldn't have to work themselves into the ground just to barely make ends meet, and minimum wage should be enough for someone to work 40 hours and live.

7. I am not anti-Christian. I have no desire to stop Christians from being Christians, to close churches, to ban the Bible, to forbid prayer in school, etc. All I ask is that Christians recognize *my* right to live according to *my* beliefs. When I get pissed off that a politician is trying to legislate Scripture into law, I'm not "offended by Christianity" -- I'm offended that you're trying to force me to live by your religion's rules. You know how you get really upset at the thought of Muslims imposing Sharia law on you? That's how others feel about Christians trying to impose biblical law on them. Be a Christian. Do your thing. Just don't force it on everyone else.

8. I don't believe LGBT people should have more rights than you. I just believe they should have the *same* rights as you.

9. I don't believe illegal immigrants should come to America and have the world at their feet, especially since THIS ISN'T WHAT THEY DO (spoiler: undocumented immigrants are ineligible for all those programs they're supposed to be abusing, and if they're "stealing" your job it's because your employer is hiring illegally). I'm not opposed to deporting people who are here illegally, but I believe there are far more humane ways to handle undocumented immigration than our current practices (i.e., detaining children, splitting up families, ending DACA, etc).

10. I don't believe the government should regulate everything, but since greed is such a driving force in our country, we NEED regulations to prevent cut corners, environmental destruction, tainted food/water, unsafe materials in consumable goods or medical equipment, etc.

It's not that I want the government's hands in everything -- I just don't trust people trying to make money to ensure that their products/practices/etc. are actually SAFE. Is the government devoid of shadiness? Of course not. But with those regulations in place, consumers have recourse if they're harmed and companies are liable for medical bills, environmental cleanup, etc. Just kind of seems like common sense when the alternative to government regulation is letting companies bring their bottom line into the equation.

11. I believe our current administration is fascist. Not because I dislike them or because I can’t get over an election, but because I've spent too many years reading and learning about the Third Reich to miss the similarities. Not because any administration I dislike must be Nazis, but because things are actually mirroring authoritarian and fascist regimes of the past.

12. I believe the systemic racism and misogyny in our society is much worse than many people think, and desperately needs to be addressed. Which means those with privilege -- white, straight, male, economic, etc. -- need to start listening, even if you don't like what you're hearing, so we can start dismantling everything that's causing people to be marginalized.

13. I am not interested in coming after your blessed guns, nor is anyone serving in government. What I am interested in is sensible policies, including background checks, that just MIGHT save one person’s, perhaps a toddler’s, life by the hand of someone who should not have a gun. (Got another opinion? Put it on your page, not mine).

14. I believe in so-called political correctness. I prefer to think it’s social politeness. If I call you Chuck and you say you prefer to be called Charles I’ll call you Charles. It’s the polite thing to do. Not because everyone is a delicate snowflake, but because as Maya Angelou put it, when we know better, we do better. When someone tells you that a term or phrase is more accurate/less hurtful than the one you're using, you now know better. So why not do better? How does it hurt you to NOT hurt another person?

15. I believe in funding sustainable energy, including offering education to people currently working in coal or oil so they can change jobs. There are too many sustainable options available for us to continue with coal and oil. Sorry, billionaires. Maybe try investing in something else.

16. I believe that women should not be treated as a separate class of human. They should be paid the same as men who do the same work, should have the same rights as men and should be free from abuse. Why on earth shouldn’t they be?

I think that about covers it. Bottom line is that I'm a liberal because I think we should take care of each other. That doesn't mean you should work 80 hours a week so your lazy neighbor can get all your money. It just means I don't believe there is any scenario in which preventable suffering is an acceptable outcome as long as money is saved.”

[datingadviceonreddit]

Im a first time poster, so apologies in advance if I commit any major faux pas! Also I'm gonna try my best not to just totally rant out a wall of text, but unfortunately it's gonna take some space to get the whole story out.So I've been dating this amazing guy for about 3 months now and he is perfect in every other regard. I have never had a partner who is more respectful, encouraging, fun, and supportive than this man. I love him and know he loves me deeply too. Thats why it was so devastating when we got into a many hours long debate about climate change. I feel like I should be able to let this go, be open minded to other view points, and not let this be such an issue to me BUT the study and fight against climate change is a cause that I have dedicated my career and philosophical leanings towards since high school and all my friends, family, and coworkers believe in climate change. I am open to and honestly could "agree to disagree" on virtually any other political issue we could have differences of opinion on, but this to me has a deeper implication of not respecting something that I have dedicated my whole life too and the further rejection of empirical scientific inquiry by him goes against my core beliefs in how a person should attempt to make informed decisions.To break it down, he believes that the science is not compelling enough to come to the conclusion that climate change is human caused and that it is a conspiracy to influence people through fear to allow corrupt politicians to tax and manipulate voters for power and financial gain. When I learned this, I was ready to discuss without getting emotional all the ways that I know this to not be the case and he claimed he was willing to hear my side, but with every piece of peer reviewed proof I presented he felt it wasn't good enough and that the science wasn't sound enough. It essentially devolved into his saying that he doesn't believe that the empirical system in place is legitimate and is flawed but that conclusion is stemming from his lack of base knowledge in the hard science and I don't have the capacity to teach him climate, weather, and atmosphere science. He went to school for graphic design but feels that he is self-informed enough about climate science to know that the studies proving it are flawed.Lastly, I can't say enough how much he has reassured me that he doesn't think I'm foolish or disrespect me for having dedicated my life to something he thinks is a fraud. He was never condescending or mean in our discussion, but the issue is largely that I can't see how he can reject everything I believe in but still have a high opinion of me.So my questions to you fine people are 1.) Is it unreasonable for me to be so upset by this issue? 2.) If it is reasonable, is it possible to work past this somehow and how would you go about it? 3.) If I chose to just ignore this part of him and pretend like the conversation never happened and never speak of it again somehow, would I be betraying my own morals or is it a reasonable thing to do for the sake of saving such an otherwise perfect relationship?Also thanks if you made it this far through the post... I tried to edit it down best I could but I was really cathartic just to write this out for my own sake so it kinda got away from me! I really appreciate any advice you guys might have on how to handle this.TL;DR My otherwise amazing boyfriend fundamentally does not believe in climate change or any empirical data I attempt to show him to try to change his mind. It's important to me because I have dedicated my career to fighting climate change and upholding scientific inquiry. He is a graphic designer by trade, but believes he is sufficiently educated enough in climate science to say their studies are flawed. He however is not sufficiently educated and I don't know how else to try to convince him of my side. Is it unreasonable for me to be so bothered by this? Thank you!! via /r/dating_advice

[missjackil]

The Season 9 Emotional Clusterf*ck

I feel as though I am the only person in the fandom who hasn’t shared their opinion of this excruciating “brother break-up”, so here goes... Let me first say for anyone who doesn’t know me, I am a Sam girl, but I love Dean. I am not as critical towards Dean as I see many Sam girls are, and I am also perfectly capable of being critical of Sam, and still love him with all my heart. Often, when I come to a place, such as this mess between the brothers, I have to recall that sometimes the Winchesters have terrible communication skills. Many situations like this could be averted if the brothers would just say what they mean. But, then we wouldn’t have all this drama that most of us secretly love.  With that said.... Ill carry on.  In my opinion, neither brother was completely right, nor completely wrong. Dean tricked Sam into letting Gadreel possess him, to save his life. Sam is pissed that Dean knew Sam wouldn’t agree to being possessed, again, but made that choice for him, so let’s start with Dean first.  Of course we have to consider what happened in S8 which started all this in the first place.( I wont included a full meta on my S8 opinion here, but that’s definitely coming soon ;) )  Sam was about to close the Gates of Hell, and by the end, he was dying, and willing to do so. Even though he had stated that he wanted to complete The Trials and live, and even take Dean to that “light at the end of the tunnle” with him. Dean found out finishing The Trials would kill Sam, which he wants no parts of, and just found out Sam was fine with that “If you finish these Trials, you’re dead Sam!” Sam replies “So?” Which led into one of the most heart wrenching scenes in the series. Dean immediately talks him off the ledge. After living without Sam in S6, Dean never wants to do that again. He didn’t try to talk Sam out of throwing himself into The Pit with Lucifer once Sam made his decision, Maybe Dean had thought he owed it to Sam to try and live a normal life, and maybe he had no intentions of not springing him from the box once he was in there, but regardless, Dean never wants to do this again.  Now we have Sam near death in a coma, only hours after Dean thought he had saved his life. Dean didn’t just call an angel to come possess his brother... he tried everything he could think of first. He prayed and he even went down to the car to see if Crowley could help in any way. Gadreel offered a way to help and Dean is adamantly opposed to this, until he sees how close Sam is to death (and to Death as it was) and making Death promise that no one can bring him back, that it’s final. So, if Dean hadnt agreed to Gadreel, there would have been no way to bring Sam back, and Dean made a choice out of sheer panic. And to be perfectly honest, I would have made the same choice, if the person dying in the bed was someone I couldnt live without. He knew Sam would be mortified when he found out what he did, but Dean still wanted to tell him throughout the possession, but Gadreel kept telling him Sam would eject him and he would die. I see too many metas about this that make it seem like Dean didn’t care, but he DID, it ate at him from the moment he did it, till the moment Gadreel was out of Sam, and Sam was in tact. He knew Sam would probably hate him for it, and there was a chance this Angel would take over and destroy Sam. He didnt take this decision lightly at all.  Now about Sam. Sam has been possessed before, more than once, and this is something he never wants to happen to him ever again. He’d rather die. So we (Sam girls) right away want Sam’s choices to be respected. Not unlike if our loved one is on life support in a coma, but they have stated before, that they dont ever want to live on life support. If nothing at all can be done, I would respect their wishes, and not keep them on life support, BUT if something, COULD be done, no matter how drastic, that could bring them back, then I would make that choice for them, and if they hate me and kick my ass after, Ill take it, its much better than them being dead. Sam however, tells Dean he wouldn’t do the same for him, given the same circumstances, and he probably wouldn’t. because possession is a terrible thing, and he knows first hand (Dean really doesn’t) Sam would have done something though, he wouldn’t just let Dean die, unless there was absolutely nothing he could do, besides having him possessed, Sam would let Dean die, and most likely die right along with him.  So now after Gadreel is out, Sam is beyond pissed at Dean, justifiably so, but I don’t think Sam is so pissed that he wants Dean to leave him. When the boys are talking in the rain, on the bridge I don’t think Sam is AS pissed that Dean did what he did, as he’s hurt that now Dean wants to leave him too. Sam’s face goes from anger and mistrust to flat out crushed and heart broken when Dean says he’s leaving. Sam wants to be allowed to be angry and hurt, but he still loves Dean and wants him to stay so they can somehow work it out. Dean leaves and Sam states it in the next couple episodes that it was Dean’s choice to leave, not his.  This is where I get a little critical on Sam. Not in the typical way that he “overreacted” or is “unappreciative” but in the sense of how he displayed his anger. Over the seasons, we have seen Dean punch Sam for no good reason, we’ve heard him berate him numerous times, and Sam just takes it. Not because he’s scared of Dean, he isn’t, and usually lets it go without saying anything because he knows, this is how Dean is. Dean isn’t right when he does this, at all, and I dont hold anything over either of their heads as to what is said or done when under a supernatural influence, but Dean hasn’t hit Sam on his own volition since S7, that’s 5 years. So any of you who think Dean hasn’t changed or grown any, consider that.  Sam doesnt get angry as often as Dean does, or he at least locks it away until it needs to come out. Sam fights with his words, and his words are often stinging. We see this in full bloom at the end of The Purge. This is Sam’s way of punching Dean, since Dean would accept him punching him, but right now Sam wants Dean to hurt. So his words are manipulative in a way... he keeps saying “I was ready to die” and “What is the upside of me being alive?” this is to let Dean know he didnt want to live, and maybe he still doesnt. Sometimes suicidal people may say something like this to get a reaction. They want to hear why them living is important to you... and sometimes to make you worry you might find them dead on the bathroom floor one day, so step lightly. Then Sam tells him “for once be honest with me, you didnt save me for me, you saved me for you. You cant stand the thought of being alone” This is Sam not recognizing (or maybe making Dean think he doesnt recognize) that Dean cant live without HIM. Dean has never been alone, he has always had someone. He has friends, hes hunted with other people, he even has Cas who he considers a brother, so Sam is really saying “I dont believe you love me”. Then Sam softly insults Dean’s work. “You tell yourself you’re doing more harm than good, but you're  not” (I realize this isnt in chronological order of the conversation, Im laying it out this way to explain it better) Any pride Dean may have in his life, comes from knowing he has saved a lot of people... now, Sam is going to tell him he’s hurt more than he’s helped. Then the biggest sting of all “Ill hand it to you though, you are willing to do the sacrificing, as long as you’re not the one being hurt”... That was the verbal kick in the balls! Since I cant believe that Sam has forgotten that Dean sold his soul for him, and spent 40 years (of what he thought would be eternity) in Hell for him, I have to believe the writers fucked up this one. Both Sam and Dean sacrifice themselves over and over, and always get hurt in the process. Its very hard for me to understand where Sam is coming from here if not only to make Dean feel worthless, or to say he doesnt appreciate any of his sacrifices, and I just cant see that with Sam. But that aside, Sam had already told him they cant be brothers, they can only work together, so since Sam feels like Dean took away whats important to him, Sam is taking away whats important to Dean.  Neither WInchester is innocent of saying/doing crappy things to the other. But they’re human, and humans are flawed, and these flaws, however painful they can be, make them more realistic to me, and easier to love.  Bonus Meta Now this all also parallels what Dean says to Sam at the end of S10 when Death tells Dean why Sam has to die. In S9 Sam thinks Dean is only thinking about himself, at the end of S10 Dean tells Sam to stop thinking about himself.Sam tells Dean in S9 that he does more harm than good, Dean tells Sam evil tracks them and nukes everyone in their vicinity, its time to put a proper name to what they are. Sam blames Dean in S9 for Kevin being dead, Crowley in the wind, no closer to fixing the angel thing, so there was no good reason to save his life. Dean blames Sam for killing Charlie, for Cas going behind his back, and being willing to let the Darkness into the world all in order to save his own life. In Sacrifice, when Dean talks Sam down and promises he’ll never put anything before him, he ties a rag on Sam’s left hand (symbolic marriage?) and he’s released from the Trials. At the end of 10 when Sam punches Dean, Dean takes the rag off his own left hand, releasing them from each other. In 8, Sam wants to die but lets Dean talk him out of it. In 10, Sam doesnt want to die, but lets Dean talk him into it. In both events, Sam is willing to die for the greater good, but even under the control of the MoC Dean isnt willing to let Sam die, no matter what the cost.