#I might be adding what was I made for to the list for two heroes because it def gives me Izuku vibes

[dark-elf-writes]

I gotta know, do you make playlists for your specific fics? Or for characters/fandoms in general? Or do you go by vibes or not do playlists at all?

Im a chaos demon that has one playlist of liked songs that are all wildly different and not at all related.

I would love to be someone who could curate playlists for specific fic characters or even moods but in the end I always end up back in the washing machine rinse cycle of Broadway, Metal, Alt, and god knows what else is thrown in between

A few fics and au’s have one or two songs that give me the vibe (like Gut Punch/Dont Meet your Idols by Everybody’s Worried About Owen and Creature by half alive for Two Heroes and more recently Burn the Witch by Shawn James for Venomous Naruto) but I always overthink playlists and overanalyze and never make any headway on them tbh

[brewsterispunkk]

THE TUTOR

part 2/4

pairing: eddie munson x afab!reader (period is mentioned), eddie munson x fem!reader

WC: 4.1k

summary: reader and eddie begin their little deal.

warnings: idiots. just idiots. also brief SA-- nothing explicit, just groping--NOT main pairing, recreational drug use

A/N: here is part 2! hope u love it! pls pls pls leave feedback ;) read it and weep.

Senior Year Bucket List

1) Get drunk

2) Skip Class

3) Do a drug

4) Sneak out

5) Skinny dip

6) Get a boyfriend, lose my virginity

You sighed and shook your head as soon as you’d written that last part, hands only half-shaking.

This was fine, you thought to yourself. 

It wasn’t weird, you kept telling yourself. It wasn’t. Eddie himself had asked you to come to school Monday with an itemized list of what exactly you’d felt like you’d missed out on. “A bucket list of sorts” he called it. 

You had to keep yourself from adding “feeling safe” to the list of things you’d felt you’d missed out on.

That was difficult for you sometimes. 

For the most part, you’d been able to compartmentalize what had happened to you last summer: the deaths, the torture, the “mall fire.” The rest of Hawkins knew that you’d survived it, along with Steve, Robin, and the kids. You’d gotten away with minor bruising to the face and neck after a Russian tried to choke you in an effort to get you to talk. It wasn’t ideal, but it could have been worse. Steve had been the one to take the brunt of the torture. You and Robin had screamed yourselves hoarse while they beat him in the other room. 

You sometimes still had nightmares about the sick sound of their fists hitting his face.

When you’d emerged as one of the survivors of what they were calling the “Starcourt Mall Fire,” your mother had been relieved. After your father had split when you were ten, you were all she had. Still, she hadn’t been prepared for the effects of what had happened to you. To be fair, neither were you. Neither were any of you. 

You’d always been shy, ever since you were a kid, but now instead of having a generally quiet disposition, you were skittish. The slightest noise made you jump, and you couldn’t stand to listen to Reagan talk about the U.S.S.R. on the news without having a panic attack. The nightmares had subsided after about two months, though they returned whenever you were stressed. 

You found you always looked over your shoulder, always looking out for some unknown thing that might be stalking you. When people talk about saving the world, they never talk about the ugly parts. About the broken fingernails and the insomnia and the muffling of sobs behind your hand as you break down in the girls’ bathroom. 

It’s a lonely thing, being a hero. An unfair thing. You felt like that night at Starcourt, when Hopper and Billy Hargrove hadn’t emerged from the fire, your adolescence had been stolen from you. That it had disappeared with the smoke and ash as it engulfed Scoops Ahoy and the rest of the shopping center. You hope that if Eddie actually does follow through with this little deal of yours, you’ll be able to experience at least a little of it. 

- - - -

“So,” Eddie drummed his hands on the top of your desk as he slid into the seat in front of you. “What do you have for me, miss tutor girl?”

He was awfully chipper for 7:00 in the morning. You blinked at him and skated your gaze across the room. 

It was close enough to first period for the room to be reasonably filled with students, most too sluggish to notice. But a few girls towards the front looked over their shoulders at him, eyes narrowed, before zooming in on you, where they widened curiously. 

“What, scared for your reputation?” Eddie was only half-joking, his eyes a little guarded. They narrowed at you. 

You shook your head almost comically. 

“No,” you burst. “No, not at all. Just had a weird night.”

“Hm,” he looked at you skeptically. You rolled your eyes.

“We’ve already talked about this, Eddie. I don’t have a reputation for you to ruin.”

He snorted at that.

“Alright then,” he leaned forward, his chin on his fists. “What’s got you so skittish, then? Another crazy party like Friday?”

“No,” you sighed, leaning down to retrieve your list from your backpack. “Just couldn’t sleep.”

 “Okay.” He looked like he didn’t believe you. You didn’t blame him; you couldn’t have been that convincing. You couldn’t bring yourself to care.  

“Did you bring it?” He asked. 

You nodded, slamming the sheet of notebook paper onto the desk and slid it over to him. 

“Here you go,” you pulled at your sleeve nervously. “Just don’t laugh, okay?”

Eddie looked at you and feigned shock. 

“Me? Laugh at you? I’m offended.”

“Eddie, I’m serious,” you felt your cheeks flush and your stomach plummet. “I’m just–It’s embarrassing. I’m being very… vulnerable and if you’re gonna laugh, we can just forget about it—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” his warm hands covered yours where they were sitting on the desk. He squeezed your palms reassuringly.  “I was kidding. I won’t laugh. Scout’s honor.”

You looked into his eyes for a moment to see if he was serious. All you saw was sincerity. You let out a deep breath. 

“You were a boy scout?” 

His lips spread in a wry smile as he turned to the paper. 

“Nope,” he unfolded the list. “It’s the thought that counts, though, right?”

You shrugged. 

“I guess?”

“Okay, what do we have here?” 

You sat in awkward silence as Eddie scanned the page, dark eyes focused. Hie brows were furrowed and his lips pouted in concentration. 

“‘Get drunk,’ we can certainly make that happen. ‘Skip a class,’ you won’t need to ask me twice.” He stopped for a moment and huffed a laugh. 

You felt your cheeks heat up. 

“What–”

“‘Do a drug.’” He said with a secret smile–like he knew something you didn’t. 

“Yeah,” you drew out. “I figured you’d know a guy.”

“Oh,” Eddie laughed. “I know a guy.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he smiled at you, before turning his eyes back to the page. “Ohh.”

Eddie’s eyes sparkled as he turned them back to you. He looked like a sprite, you thought. With his wild hair and mischievous smile. He was gorgeous. 

“‘Get a boyfriend,’” he set the list down on the table. “Am I going to be playing match-maker, teacher’s pet?”

You rolled your eyes. He was teasing you. 

“If that’s what it takes,” you quipped, your nervousness having melted away. “And I am not a teacher’s pet.”

“Whatever you say,” he raised an eyebrow at you. 

As you opened your mouth to respond, the clearing of a throat interrupted you. 

You looked up to see Cameron Reyes leering over Eddie. 

“Hey. You’re in my seat,” he sneered. “Beat it.”

Eddie sighed, before slinking out of the seat slowly, taking his time. 

“My apologies,” he smiled at Cameron, before dropping into his own seat, next to you. 

You glared at the back of Cameron’s head. 

Why did he have to be such an asshole?

Cameron was on the swim team and you’d had classes with him since Kindergarten. He hadn’t always been a dick; In fourth grade when you’d skinned your knee, he’d helped you up and walked you to the nurse’s office. It wasn’t until high school, when he’d begun running with guys like Tommy Hagan, that he’d changed. Now, you couldn’t stand him. 

That was the way of things, though, in Hawkins. There were the bullies and the bullied—rarely anything in between.

- - - -

As you walked down the halls, you felt their eyes on your legs and you regretted letting Robin convince you to wear this skirt. 

The denim felt heavy on your hips. You wiped your clammy hands on the blue material, wishing that you didn’t have to walk practically across school to get to pre-calc. 

“Looking good,” someone whistled from behind you. You felt dread seep down your spine. 

Please no, not here. 

This wasn’t the first time you’d been catcalled. 

The first time was when you and Robin were thirteen and walking to the general store down the road from your houses. A few men in a pick-up truck had rolled their windows down and told you in great detail all they’d liked to do to you. You and Robin hid inside the general store until the clerk called your mom to pick you up. You hadn’t even gotten your first period yet. 

However, this was the first time you’d been catcalled at school. It still felt just as scary as the first time. 

“Where have you been hiding those legs, teacher’s pet?” 

You whipped around at the nickname, bristling at it. You hated when people called you that, unless that person was Eddie. 

You were faced with a basketball player; one of the guys who hung out with Jason Carver and sometimes Lucas. Thomas Reed. Your skin crawled at the way he and the two boys behind him looked at you. 

“Fuck off,” you spat at him before turning on your heel and walking faster to your destination. 

“Aw, come on, don’t be like that!” He called after you, but you could barely hear him over the blood rushing in your ears. 

It only calmed when you’d reached your classroom.

- - - -

“Are you even listening to me?” You smacked his hand where it was tapping on the wood of the library table. Outside, a heavy autumn rain pummeled the sidewalk, the trees swaying with it. 

“Yes,” Eddie rolled his eyes. 

“What did I just say?”

“That…Holden is a whiny little bitch.”

You sighed, bringing a hand to your forehead. 

“No.” You ground out. “And if you write that in your essay, Ms. Taylor is going to fail you and me, so please, can you take this seriously?”

He sighed and had the nerve to look a little guilty. It made your heart clench a bit. 

In the few sessions you’d tutoring Eddie, your crush had done anything but lessened. In fact, it had grown tenfold. It was one thing to admire him from across the room, it was another completely to spend time with him and actually be able to talk to him. 

You found that in addition to being cute and pensive, he was kind and not at all the scary loner that everyone painted him to be. If he hadn’t cemented his reputation by being an avid player of D&D, he would’ve been popular, you thought. 

And all this goes to day: you couldn’t stay mad at him, even when you wanted to.

“Okay,” he said, blowing his bangs out of his eyes. You briefly reminded yourself to offer to cut them for him later—he’d been complaining about them getting in his face all session. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

“What?” Your attention snapped back to him. Eddie looked at you like you’d grown another head. 

“Uhh, I asked what you were saying?”

“Oh! Oh yeah,” you shook your head. “I zoned out.”

“I gathered that.” Eddie snorted, leaning forward. “Uh, off-topic, but I was wondering, when do you wanna get started on that bucket list?”

“Oh. Whenever.”

“I was thinking we could start this week.”

“So soon?” You practically squeaked. As excited you were about these new experiences, you were nervous. Especially because the person you’d be experiencing them with was Eddie. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself. 

“No time like the present,” Eddie’s voice was chipper. “So, what did you wanna start with?”

“I thought we’d start small and work up to something bigger?” You asked.

“That sounds good,” Eddie nodded. “How does skipping class work for this week?”

“Ugh, not well actually.” You sighed, sour. “We have that exam this week in Taylor’s and then for Chem I have—”

“Relax, we don’t have to start with that one. Hmm, what else…”

“We could always—”

You cut yourself off, thinking better of it, but Eddie caught you. 

“Nevermind.”

“No, what is it?”

You looked at him skeptically. 

“If you wanna do something, you gotta tell me. It’s your bucket list, tutor-girl, not mine.”

“What if we��did a drug?”

God, you sounded like such a teacher’s pet saying it.

“Okay, teacher’s pet.” Eddie’s face was gleeful, excited. “You’re full of surprises. We can do that, definitely.”

“Okay,” you let out a breath. 

“Any reason why you jumped to that one?”

“I just– I’m so stressed.” Thomas Reed’s lustful gaze flashed in your mind and you shook it off. 

“You okay?” Eddie grabbed your hand on the table. You swallowed. 

“Yeah,” you said lamely, mouth dry. “Just–a lot going on. School.”

“School,” Eddie repeated like he didn’t believe you. His eyes held yours for a moment before he nodded. “Okay teacher’s pet. Drugs it is. Any preference?”

“Nothing too crazy. Just something to take the edge off?”

“I can do that,” he smiled. “This is gonna be fun.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just think you’ll be funny high.”

“We’ll see,” you narrowed your eyes at him. He just smiled at you for a moment. Your eyes held his and you had the sudden urge to reach over the table and kiss him. You coughed, turning back to your notes in front of you. 

“Anyway, what do you think Salinger’s trying to say?”

“Other than the fact that Holden is annoying?”

“Eddie, I’m serious—”

“I am too!” Eddie insisted. “All this shit about ‘phonies,’ when he’s just like them–”

“You know, I thought you’d relate to Holden.” You smirked at him.

“What?”

“Well, he’s an outcast—all teenage angst and—”

“I’m twenty, thank you.” He snapped at you, causing you to stutter. 

“Oh, no I didn’t mean outcast like—”

“No, it’s okay,” Eddie chuckled, waving you off. “It’s true. And I like it that way.”

You eyed him skeptically. 

“Really, I do.” He folded his arms over his chest. “There are too many assholes in this school. If I wanted to fit in, I’d have to act like them. At least a little bit. Besides, I’ve got people. Not much, but I’ve got’em.”

You hummed. 

“I’ve never thought of that.”

“What, Holden being a bitch, because—”

You smacked his arm, laughing. 

“Okay, okay, sorry,” Eddie giggled. He giggled. Your heart leapt. “What, though? What did I say that was so profound?”

He was being sarcastic, you could tell, but you didn’t care. 

“The whole—having to sacrifice part of yourself to fit in. It’s true. I’d never thought of it like that.”

He hummed, eyes holding yours a moment, before his grin broke the moment. 

“Maybe I should be the one tutoring, huh?”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. 

“Turn to page 225.”

- - - -

Thomas found you again the next day, this time before school as you were at your locker. 

“Hey there,” he smiled, sliding up next to you, effectively boxing you in between him and the locker. You jumped, moving as close to the locker as you could. “How are you today?”

“Leave me alone,” you ground out, trying to slip past him, but his hand in a hard grip on your arm stopped you. 

“Aw, but we could have so much fun, teacher’s pet.”

“Let me go—”

“Where’s your little skirt?” he asked, grip tightening on your arm as you scrambled to get away. 

You silently cursed whoever in the administration office had placed your locker on one of the most abandoned hallways in the school. 

“Your legs looked so good—”

His palm came to squeeze the meat of your ass and your stomach churned. Without thinking, you spat in his face, palm coming to connect with his cheek. 

“You cunt—”

“The hell is going on here?” 

Eddie walked briskly up to you as you stepped back from Thomas. He moved to stand between you two, face hard. It was the mask he put on every day in front of the rest of the school, the ones who thought he was mean and scary. Only now, you weren’t sure how much of it was a mask. 

“Nothing, man.” Thomas waved him off, wiping his face. He glared at you in a way that made your feet stick to the spot. 

“It doesn’t look like nothing.”

“I said it's nothing.”

“And I said—”

“It’s fine,” you mumbled. 

“Hey wait—”

Eddie moved to grab Thomas as he walked away from the two of you. 

“I said it’s fine,” you said louder this time, and reached out to grab Eddie’s shoulder and pull him back toward you. 

“Bullshit!” He spun and turned toward you, clearly pissed off. “What the hell was that?”

“I said it was fine, Eddie!” You burst at him, voice cracking. You took a deep breath. 

“Honey, are you—” 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you interrupted Eddie’s suddenly soft voice. You wiped a stray but of moisture from under your eyelid. “Let’s just go to class.”

“But–”

“Eddie, drop it,” you all but snapped, before adding lamely, “please.”

“Fine,” he grumbled. “Lead the way. Taylor’s gonna be pissed if I’m late again.”

You could practically hear him simmering as he walked a half-step behind you to class, but you didn’t care to acknowledge it. You’d made it abundantly clear you didn’t want to talk about it. If he pushed you, you might just snap. 

As the two of you made your way down the halls, you felt eyes following you. They were all wondering: what was the quiet nerd doing with the freak? You didn’t care to acknowledge that either. 

Let them wonder, you thought. I’m done caring about their rumor mill.

- - - -

“Jesus, Eddie.” You gasped and looked around. 

There was no one in the janitor’s closet with you, but still: with that much weed on him, Eddie would be expelled and arrested. You had no idea how he’d gotten it in the two days since your conversation. 

“What?” He asked, out of breath. He’d pulled you in here between third and fourth period, scarring you half to death in the process. “I told you I’d get the stuff.”

“Yeah, but I didn't know you meant so much,” you scoffed. Now, looking down at the green, wooly buds you were going to smoke, you felt your stomach flood with anxiety. You weren’t so sure about it anymore. “Where did you even get it?”

“I know a guy.”

“Fine, don’t tell me,” you rolled your eyes frustratedly. “What did you drag me here for, anyway?”

Eddie furrowed his eyebrows, looking genuinely confused at your hostile tone. 

“To…let you know I got the stuff.” He drawled, before narrowing his eyes at you. “You okay, sweetheart? You look like you’re gonna be sick.”

Your stomach was churning. Between the stuff with Thomas that morning and now this, it was too much. 

You pressed a hand to your abdomen as the faint smell of weed permeated from the open baggie between Eddie’s fingers.

God, he had pretty fingers, you thought somewhere in the back of your mind. It was something you'd revisit when you weren’t about to have a panic attack.

“Woah, woah, woah,” Eddie rushed toward you as you doubled over, hands on your knees, trying to catch your breath and calm the nausea. His hands found your shoulders, and another wave of the sharp smell of marijuana made you retreat further into your mind. 

All of a sudden, you weren’t there; you were back at Starcourt with Billy Hargrove’s hands around your neck, the smell of the weed he’d smoked earlier still on his clothes. 

Your breathing shallowed and you gasped, trying to breathe, but in vain. 

“Hey, hey, breathe for me,” you faintly heard Eddie over your own heartbeat. “You gotta breathe, honey. C’mon, breathe for me. Deep breaths, like this.”

He pressed your palm to his chest as he inhaled deeply.

You looked up at him, at his wide, panicked eyes and did as he said, slowly inhaling a shaky breath. 

“That’s it,” he took another deep breath, eyes not leaving yours. “Just like that. Okay. Another one, now.”

You took a deep breath, much easier this time, eyes never leaving his.

- - - -

“So…” Eddie began, eyes finally meeting yours. “You wanna tell me what the hell that was?”

You sighed, tilting your head back to lean against the wall where you were sitting. You looked up at the fluorescents in the janitor’s closet. 

“That was a panic attack, Eddie,” you said monotonously.

“Don’t be a smart ass. What happened?”

You sighed again. 

It had taken five minutes for Eddie to talk you down from your… episode. After, he’d let you catch your breath. You’d thought that you’d be able to just go about your day from there. You were stupid to think he’d let this go. 

“It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“Jesus, sweetheart, I don't care about that. I just wanna know what the hell caused it. Did I–”

“No,” you said immediately. “You didn’t—”

“Did it have something to do with this morning?” Eddie’s voice was low, and as serious as you’d ever heard it. 

You remained quiet, eyes trained on the light above you. Eddie took that as confirmation. His eyes flashed dangerously as you finally looked at him. 

“I’ll kill him.”

Eddie moved to his feet with purpose, moving to open the closet door. 

“No!” you grabbed his ankle, scrambling. “No, Eddie. It’s not worth it.”

“Bullshit, it’s not worth it—”

“Please, let’s just get out of here. Let’s go smoke. We’ve practically missed all of fourth period anyway.”

“Honey, he can’t just–”

“I know, Eddie,” you stood up level with him. “But right now, I really wanna leave, and that’s more important than whatever revenge plot you have.”

He looked at the door obstinately for another moment before turning back to you. 

“Fine.” he said, not fully convinced. 

“Thank you,” you took a calming breath. “Good. Besides, it’ll be like killing two birds with one stone, right? Two items off the bucket list at once.”

- - - -

Eddie’s car was smoky; a hotbox is what he called it. 

As you took a long drag of the joint he passed to you, the deep, leafy aroma filled your lungs. As you breathed out, all worries or stress you had about school or Thomas or even the Upside Down diminished to an afterthought. 

So this is why people smoke, you thought to yourself, giggling a little bit. 

“What is it?” Eddie turned his head to you, unruly curls brushing your cheek. 

The two of you were sprawled out on the floor of his van, shoulder to shoulder and head to head, about twenty minutes into the session. You’d learned this so far: that Eddie smelled good, like cigarettes and cologne and something musky, and that his eyes got even more glassy when he smoked. All that to say: you wanted to kiss him. Bad. 

You passed him the joint, your fingers brushing his in the process.

“It’s just that I finally get why people do this so much,” you laughed. 

“It’s been twenty minutes,” Eddie laughed with you. 

“And I feel better already!”

Eddie went quiet, taking two puffs from the joint. You turned to look at him, eyes immediately darting to his lips. He was looking pensively at the corner of the van. 

“Not fair,” you grabbed the joint from him. “Don’t hog.”

“I get them too, you know.” He said all of a sudden, somber. 

You stopped, looking at him still. Eddie turned his head to face you, nose only an inch from yours. 

“Not so much anymore, but when I was younger. When I first came to live with Wayne.”

“Wayne?”

“My uncle,” he swallowed, turning his head away from yours. “I live with him. Have since I was twelve. My dad, he was… not a great guy.”

You were quiet for a moment, passing the joint back to him. 

“My dad left.” You said. “Sometimes I’m not even sure I remember what he looks like.”

Eddie grabbed your hand, squeezing. 

Instead of the flutter of anxious butterflies, you felt a calm wash over you at his hand in yours. 

“Do you, uh…” Eddie trailed off, taking a deep huff, “wanna talk about what I saw this morning?”

You sighed, not feeling anxious, but feeling tired. 

“You remember the skirt I wore the other day?”

Eddie swallowed visibly, eyes darting to your legs before your face again. 

“Yeah.”

“Robin helped me pick it out in June,” you fiddled with your sweater. “She convinced me to wear it the other day, finally, while the weather is still at least a little nice. Anyway, Thomas noticed my skirt. He hasn’t left me alone since. And today, he…”

Eddie took a long drag. 

“He grabbed me, grabbed my ass. Fucking pig.” You rolled your eyes. “I’m not even, like, scarred by that. You know how ridiculous that is? That I’m not even phased by it anymore?”

Eddie just shook his head, glaring at the ceiling. 

“Eddie?”

He wordlessly handed you the joint. 

“Toke up, sweetheart.”

You chuckled. 

“Jesus, what an asshole.” 

“Yeah,” you nodded, taking a long drag. 

“Someone should—”

“Someone should, but someone won’t.” You looked at him. “They never do.”

“Hmm,” Eddie hummed, biting his lip in concentration. 

“Wanna skip the rest of the day?”

“God, yes.”

Th next day, Thomas Reed had a busted lip and a black eye. 

[myfairstarlight]

Good day friend! I've been really enjoying your takes for bridgerton this season :D Would love to hear your thoughts about part 2, particularly Colin's character portrayal if you're at all inclined!

Well hello there dear, thank you!

And what a coincidence, because Colin's portrayal, always the polarising topic in this fandom it seems, has been on my mind ever since I finished watching part 2... I shall ramble here then! I hope you do not mind a long answer, dear reader, for my last analysis post was not a quick read indeed. And I will now also stop trying to sound like Whistledown.

So, overall thoughts? I think he was handled mostly brilliantly, actually. And thus still despite the pacing issues (but that's an overall issue I have with the show, not specific to this season). Controversial take, already, so let's break it down a bit.

I will try to organise my rambling, but this is pretty much my immediate thoughts after watching the season. Perhaps I'll make a more organised and proper post later, adding Penelope's side, like my friends to lovers love letter, but we'll see! So:

Colin's journey to self-love

Because just like Penelope, though we arguably see it less, Colin has his own journey to loving himself because the thing with Colin is that he's still so insecure. Yes, he's more himself in part 2 now that he realised he's in love, he no longer tries to pretend to be someone he's not, but he still struggles to prove himself, and we see it in those last two episodes, when the truth is truly out. People are harsh on him for being so caught up in what Whistledown wrote and constantly celebrating the idea that LW might meet her demise, almost like a child who just got some sweets, but as we've seen in his discussion with Eloise after the reveal, it's because Whistledown calling him out at the beginning of the season for his new persona poked at his biggest insecurity, and he's still stuck on that, even more so now that he learns Penelope was behind the words, the one person who always made him feel seen and in this case, made him feel too seen. To me, him bringing up Marina so insistently was him grasping at straws, clinging to the one thing he knows for sure was unfair so he does not have to face the fact that what Penelope wrote was the truth (sidenote, was a little disappointed they did not have Penelope say she did try to talk to him about Marina but he literally did not listen and did not care that Marina loved another). He is still trying to find who he is and for a moment, he thought he had it, thanks to the very person now making him question everything all over again.

And oh boy does he not cope well.

Hero complex and what it means to be the man of the house

Colin has a hero complex. That's news to absolutely no one, unless you have not paid attention, so I won't make a list of the instances in previous seasons again. But we see it right away in e5 as he stands up for Penelope in front of Portia, then constantly shielding Penelope as soon as Cressida is involved. Penelope even thanks him for it, telling her no one has ever stood up for her of the sort, which fuels his hero complex. In fact, it is Colin's protectiveness that leads him to learn Penelope is Whistledown since he followed her out of worry, and that leads him to the realisation that she may not need him as much as he thought she did (and in his mind, perhaps she even just pretended to need him, to love him). And that, along with discovering that secret, shatters him. His whole sense of purpose, the one thing he thought he could for sure provide? Gone, just like that.

Even more so later when he learns she may be richer than him lol

So he overcompensates. When Cressida's blackmail is revealed, he does not listen, he jumps on the opportunity to prove himself, to protect his wife even if he's still mad at her, no one can disrespect her and his family so blatantly. As the man of the house, he needs to do what he must. And then he fucking fails and makes things far worse. And you know what? How satisfying it was that for once he failed, arguably when it was the most important for him, to remind him that hey, don't get on your high horse, listen to your wife and your family, don't try to handle everything on your own! (A lesson that Penelope also has to learn at the same time! That's marriage baby!) I like that he gets humbled twice, by Penelope and Cressida, the person he loves most and the one he despises so, yet they both throw the truth at him - he's privileged, as a man, and as a Bridgerton. He gets to question himself, travel to his whim, be even reckless like he just was because he will always have unconditional love from his family, but Penelope had to hide a part of herself to be able to do something she likes, meanwhile Cressida has to resort to questionable means to avoid getting married off to an old man. They do not have the luxury that Colin has to just do things. And it pains him to face that.

I've seen the sentiment that part 2 has Penelope be more assertive than Colin, with the dynamic shifting again when it should not, and while it is true she is the one who seeks him out more, it makes sense, she is seeking his forgiveness all throughout the last two episodes. I love her, but you cannot argue she is not at fault here and Colin deserves to be upset and a bit withdrawn as he deals with the conflicting feelings suddenly assaulting him. Yes the entrapment accusation hurt especially since he was the one who couldn't keep his hands to himself, but with his history after Marina, it makes sense that's what his hurt mind decides to focus on that, to justify the fact he's still so upset (It does bother me he never apologises for that comment though, at the same time Penelope doesn't hold it against him. They, or the writers, probably forgot about it.) But I would also argue that him being so troubled, is a proof of love, he even says so to Eloise "you are lucky you've never been in love" because if he wasn't, this would be much easier to deal with. Despite it all, he loves her, he chooses her, he will protect her, he must. He decides to sleep on the sofa to still stay close to Penelope despite the fact he could just sleep in one of the empty bedrooms. He still reassures her during their wedding, with one look encouraging her to walk more confidently down the aisle, and he holds her oh so tenderly when they dance at the wedding breakfast. He's so upset, but he's still so much in love. Of course, unlike part 1, there's no urgency or desperation on his part, there's no Debling threatening to take Penelope away, or him trying to earn back her favours so of course suddenly his displays of love feel less outward. But again, they're arguing, no he will not forgive her so easily, and that's a good thing, yet he's still here to support and protect her, and that says so much because again, he could just leave, that would have no consequence to him as a man. And in kind, Penelope makes an effort to do better as well, no longer witholding any secret from him, and he sees that.

And deep down, he understands Penelope, we see it when he confronts Cressida and perfectly described why Penelope became LW without her telling him in such words beforehand, because he's had similar struggles, he just needs to admit it, and be okay to show this vulnerability with her.

Colin's writer struggles and jealousy.

Now, I must admit, this was the weakest and a bit disappointing part of his arc to me, which is why I'm writing it last. I wish we could have had more time exploring that, and not just being told so (hopefully in s4? Assuming the writers won't pull a Kate and Anthony and constantly have them leave for no reason). This, however, adds to the previous part and Colin's struggle to provide, be the man of the house.

Here his wife is, an accomplished writer, even if under a pen name, who may be richer than he, oh how it must have deepened his insecurity. After all, if he cannot provide protection, or financial stability, then what good is he to her? What good are his silly journals when compared to that damn column that has all of Mayfair on a chokehold?

And yet.

Is it not telling and precious that he kept all of Penelope's letters? And that they're the catalyst of reminding him why he loves her so much, and how her love for writing and her cleverness shine through and that it is unfair of him to expect her to give it up when he himself aspires to be a writer? Writing is what brings them together truly, the same way writing letters to each other was the precursor for him realising his feelings as well. He is at peace then, Penelope is Whistledown, and she shines with her pen, and Colin fell in love with her quill, long ago, he was just overcome with grief to realise Whistledown held the same brilliance.

And sure, Penelope does not need him to provide, but she loves writing so much, and it inspires Colin in his own writing as well. And I also think it's super cute that he was going through a writer's block until Penelope told him she's loved him for years and suddenly the gates were opened (granted, this was before the reveal but now imagine post-reveal, as he struggles to edit and write, Penelope comes up beside him telling him he's doing well and boom, he's determined to write again).

But, back to the topic at hand, most importantly... he offers her love and support, even through all this battle, he unconsciously kept caring for her, and that's what Penelope craves, just someone there for her.

And that? That Colin can absolutely be, and he will proudly take on the role of her husband rather than "the man".

So I think this about wraps it up! Colin is the definition of a sensitive man trying his best to tough it up, a third son who struggles to find a place in this world. But he found a woman who does not need him to be what he is not, the one woman who will love him not for what he can provide, but for who he truly is, kind and incredibly empathetic. The one woman who fell in love with him because she made him fall off a horse and instead of yelling because of a bruised ego, he laughed at his own expense.

And I just think Colin Bridgerton is neat.

Also as I hit post it's 2AM for me so if some of this doesn't make sense, that's why, don't hold it against me, thank you dear one <3

[distracted-obsessions]

For Villain Stuff: Ex-Villain has joined the team and they're all pretty tense at first. But they all begin to warm up to Villain ever so slightly-nothing too crazy, but not nothing either. Villain even becomes something a little almost like friends with A. But then something happens. Maybe a member of the team/the whole team is just very stressed and Villain does something slightly off at the wrong time, and the stressed teammate/whole team except A just goes off on them saying terrible stuff. It's so bad that Villain runs off/leaves. Then the next day, A has to find out what happened from the remorseful teammate/team and how Villain is gone. And this makes A realize how they all, them included, really should have given Villain more of a chance and A tells the rest of the team how hard Villain is trying.

Then also the even more awkward situation once Villain comes back, still feeling slightly betrayed by the team and assuming A feels the same way too, as the others try to apologize/make up for it and A tries to regain their friendship.

Hero woke to the sound of an alarm. It was their least favorite sound by far since it wasn't their personal alarm but the 'everyone get up right now before we all die' alarm.

They rolled out of bed, not bothering to put on daytime clothes as they stumbled towards the war room. They found the team already there, all of them looking grim, and Villain noticeably missing.

Hero winced, remembering yesterday. Teammate had been in one of their moods yesterday and Villain had made a joke about them being a prickly bastard. Teammate had snapped back at him, saying that he was one to talk with the kind of 'prickliness' he used to show the team. Villain had laughed it off but then the others had piled on, mentioning things he had done and it had gotten a little personal. Personal enough that Villain had just left the room without a word.

"Hey, guys," Hero said, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "Villain still sleeping?"

The team all shared glances but said nothing.

"Leader?" Hero asked hesitantly. "What's going on? Where's Villain?"

Leader sighed, turning her attention to the computer screen. It showed a list of various villains, fences, and identity brokers. "He's gone. We don't know where or if he left with anything but his tracking anklet was on his bedside table. And he's nowhere in the base."

Hero felt the blood drain from their face. They knew yesterday was less then pleasant but was it really enough to make him run? They glanced over Leader's shoulder and realized that the list was a list of Villain's former associates. They felt a flare of rage at that being the teams first thought. It was almost enough to overpower their own guilt for thinking the same.

"Oh come on!" Hero said, pressing a button to t,urn off the screen. "He's not going to just run back to villainy after one bad day!"

Leader gave them a confused look. "What do you mean, one bad day? What bad day?"

"I mean yesterday." Hero looked around at the team finding only confused faces. "You guys were pretty rough on him, you know."

"We were just talking shop," Youngest said. "We do that all the time."

"But do we do it in front of the villains?" Hero asked. "He was really uncomfortable. He left the room."

"It wasn’t that bad," Teammate said, rolling their eyes.

Hero turned to Teammate and raised an eyebrow. "You personally called his life's goal that we thwarted only like two months ago 'a child's temper tantrum'. I don't think I'm the only one who thinks that might be a little hurtful."

Teammate sipped their coffee and said nothing.

"Anyway, he didn't just go back to villainy over that!" Hero said firmly. They remembered the look on Villain's face as he left, clicking through his phone as he mumbled about knowing who his real friends were. "...Probably," they added, less sure.

Leader came over and put a hand on Hero's shoulder. "It's ok, Hero. We'll find him. And we'll deal with any consequences that arise."

Hero nodded and walked back out of the war room. This was going to need daytime clothes.

...

Eight hours. Eight hours and no sign of Villain. Hero was not one to give up hope but they knew how good Villain was at disappearing when he needed to.

Hero had just been ready to take a break for lunch when they heard the sound of someone hissing and spitting, probably while being dragged in handcuffs. They knew the sound well but there was something familiar about it.

"Will you lay off?! I know where we're going! I live here, remember?"

The whole team turned towards the door and watched as four cops dragged Villain into the war room. They threw Villain into the room and Villain, who's hands were cuffed behind his back, stumbled forward and just barely managed to twist his body to sit in the chair that Teammate pulled out for him. His glare was vicious.

"Where the hell did you find him?" Leader asked, staring at Villain in surprise.

"I went out to get an Irish Coffee," Villain said, passing that same glare to Leader.

"Six states away?" One of the cops asked.

"Without your tracker?" Leader asked.

"Or telling anyone?" Teammate asked.

Villain squirmed around until he was sitting down in the chair properly, looking like he was trying to pretend that he wasn't pouting. "I spent my twenties in that town. I wanted that specific Irish Coffee. I took public transit. I used my agency ID. I didn't exactly try to hide. What, did you want me to leave a note?"

"Preferably," Leader said. She sighed and waved the cops away. They left, leaving Villain and the team alone.

There was a moment of silence before Villain leaned forward, rattling the cuffs. "Can I get these off or have I been officially been given villain status again?"

"Villain, now really isn't the time for you to be defensive. You're the one-"

"No, I think I can be defensive all I want!" Villain said. "How long did it take for you to put out an APB? I know you canceled my card after what, 30 minutes?"

"Villain," Leader started. "You have to understand that-"

"No! No, you have to understand! How long do I have to work with you to get some trust? I thought that I might have enough trust that you would at least wait a full day before assuming I fell back into old temper tantrums." He looked Teammate when he said that. They didn't meet his eyes.

Villain sighed. "Look. Just uncuff me. I'll go put my tracker back on and I won't take it off until whatever new tracker you ordered while I was gone gets here."

Leader sighed again and helped Villain out of the cuffs. "Look, we just need more communication. Ok?"

Villain shrugged, standing and rubbing his wrists. "Great. I'm going to put the tracker back on and then make myself an Irish Coffee." Villain frowned. "Since the cops spilled mine."

The team watched Villain leave again and Hero looked at the other three before calling out, "Am I invited?"

Villain poked his head back in, looking at Hero critically. "Did you cancel my card?"

"No?"

"Of course you're invited! I'll make you one." Villain smiled at Hero but Hero couldn't miss the slightly vicious note in his eyes as he walked out. Hero followed after and glanced back at the team.

"You all need to figure out how to fix that." Hero pointed at them in turn then walked away to follow Villain. I'll have to fix my end.

[halfratsalready]

The Unhinged Jack x Wanderlust Conspiracy Board Explained

A few days ago I posted this silly conspiracy board I made for a slideshow night with my friends where I talked about how Ubisoft loves to deny Jack x Wanderlust and everyone seemed to like it so here’s an in-depth (and I mean in-depth) explanation of everything on it.

We start, of course, with Si’ha Nova and the Traveler, and Wanderlust wearing his dad’s cape at the beginning of Canned Heat because it’s super cute.

And you can’t talk about this ship without the moment from Majesty that perfectly mirrors the moment from Save Your Tears because genuinely why would they do this if they didn’t want people to ship these two? (Rainbow flag added for ✨flavor✨)

I also thought it was worth mentioning that the only time we ever actually hear any of these characters speak across all 14 lore playlist maps is literally Wanderlust calling out Jack’s name.

And now it’s time for the part that I like to call Ubisoft’s crusade against a monster of their own creation (because look at those last two points and tell me they didn’t do this to themselves. You can’t.)

Now in making this I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Ubisoft isn’t being as harsh on the ship as we’ve been thinking, because “they’re such good friends” and “best friends” with a thumbs up automatically reads as very sarcastic and joking to me, like all the memes about “historians will say they were close friends.”

Then there’s the infamous in’s and out’s New Years post, but what I hadn’t picked up on until I saw this screenshot from Twitter is that the inclusion of “normalize being evil” on the in’s list is rather suspicious and that, according to Just Dance, “this was posted by Night Swan’s army.” So I feel like that’s worth mentioning, because it casts a different light on all the other things on the lists. As in including Jack Rose in the in’s list since he’s the only one she didn’t corrupt yet and she wants to do that this year? And putting stanning Jacklust on the out’s because she’s evil and doesn’t want us to have nice things? Not too sure but hey, if someone better at analyzing things wants to look into that, I’d be down to read it.

(I also think it’s worth mentioning that “worrying about getting a Megastar” is included in the out’s list when the tweet just before that one is encouraging players to get Megastar on Zero to Hero, so some more contradictions there, but that might not mean anything, given that Night Swan’s whole thing is perfection and I feel like she would definitely be in favor of worrying over getting Megastar.)

Plus there’s the pretty popular belief that they’re just pointing out how stupid of a ship name Jacklust is, but I’m personally not at all sold on this being the reason, even if Jacklust is a stupid ship name. (I told my friends the ship name during this presentation and one of them said “Really? Wanderrose was right there.”)

Lastly, I threw Night Swan in there because of the theory that Ubisoft is denying Jack x Wanderlust because the Traveler is Jack’s father. Now, I have opinions about this theory and I hope it’s not true for obvious reasons, but I feel like if it is, it’s a serious oversight on Ubisoft’s part.

Firstly, if they’re half siblings why did they recreate the move from Save Your Tears in Majesty? Seems odd to have half siblings recreate a pretty iconic romantic duet moment.

There’s also the fact that we can clearly see that Wanderlust takes physical traits from each of his parents - his mother’s blue skin and his father’s dark hair. If the Traveler is Jack’s dad, why don’t they share any physical characteristics? At the very end of the beta for Sweet Dreams (spoiler?) we see Night Swan with green eyes, unlike the yellow eyes she has in the rest of the dances we see her in. (While this could just be an older design choice, I personally interpreted this as meaning that her eyes were green before she went evil and then they turned yellow.) In all of his character artwork, Jack’s eyes are green, which I take as meaning that this is a trait he got from his mother. So I personally feel like it only makes sense for his father to have red hair (and we’ve got plenty of options to pick from with that criteria).

But hey, that’s just a theory… I don’t need to finish that part, you’re already thinking it. Thanks for reading my insane ramblings!

[monowritestoomuch]

This is Going To Get Us Burned For Being Witches, Isn’t It?

Prologue: The start of Alexand–Narrator, Would You Shut Up?

I actually did it lmao.

This is not historically accurate. Don’t ask me to make it historically accurate, I won’t. I didn’t choose a random year though. I usually write in third person so excuse me if this ain’t my best work, if it’s cringe, it’s cringe, leave me be. This is short because it’s the prologue. Chapter One has already been started, but I also have work to do so please excuse me if it doesn’t come out tomorrow or Sunday. Enjoy

Alexander wasn’t exactly having a good day, or life. Definitely life. 

Quiet, narrator. Let me speak.

My apologies, go ahead. 

Hello demi-gods and non-demi-gods, you might be wondering, ‘who are you mysterious narrator two?’ 

My name is Alexander Hamilton. Yes, I was named after Alexander the Great. No, we are not related. 

I am a demi-god.

What is a demi-god, you ask? Well, I’m not glad you definitely asked! You know Greek mythology? Yeah, that Greek mythology. With Jason, Theseus, Achilles, and Heracles, famous Greek heroes who you most likely know? 

Well if you know mythology at all, you know the gods loved to have. . .relations with mortals, specifically Zeus. Most of the children are children of Zeus. 

And as the gods did love to have. . .relations with mortals, which made a lot of children, who had nowhere to go. 

So in 1528, a place was created by Greek immigrants to train and help Greek demi-gods thrive. With this, the Greek gods moved to the West, up to New York, specifically Long Island to create the camp. The Greek immigrants pray to the gods to acknowledge and bless the camp by bringing a trainer who would set the demi-gods up to thrive and honor their godly parents. 

The Twelve Olympians acknowledged their efforts and prayers, bringing Chiron to the camp to start training demi-gods to bring honor to their parents and to themselves, but mostly the gods themselves.

Now it’s been over two-hundred years since then and the camp is still standing to this day, which is where I come in. And now I can finally start the actual story.

This is how I, Alexander Hamilton, learned I was a demi-god and became a Greek hero at Camp Half-Blood.

Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1

Taglist:

@hammyham-o-o @gay11aliens @sleeplessfluid @frayna-of-the-hollow @poppitron360 @emdabitchass @zariahthewitch @elixs-mythology-corner @perseus-oh-my-perseus @ducktamer415 @thenewilikethings-0 @skrunkly-soaked-rat

let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

Oh, and special thank you to @perseus-oh-my-perseus for the clever title!

[sunflowerrosewood]

Fluff Alphabet ~ Izuku Midoriya

Author's Note: Since my other account @cheekyredwillow got deleted. I am adding some of my favorite fanfictions to this account and revamping this one with new ones. I hope to make an actual list of fandoms I am still a fan of! NO requests for the time being.

On to the alphabet!

~~~

A: Alluring (What attracts the other?)

He adores your kind nature. No matter how many times he breaks his body, you are there to help him.

You adore his "can do" attitude. You like that he is willing to go to the ends of the Earth to be the best. 

B: Baby (ideas on family)

He's scared. What if his child ends up quirkless? But the little voice inside his head wants to see mini mes of him and you. Maybe like two would be enough. 

C: Cuddles (How do you hold each other?)

Most of the time you two are cuddled into each other's chest. Soft snores and holding each other tight. But there are days where Izuku feels like he's alone in his battles and asks to be the little spoon. Usually he apologizes till you hush his worries. 

D: Dates (What are the best dates?)

The best date was going to see his mother. Inko cooked for you two and did the embarrassing baby photos. After the embarrassment, you two relaxed in his room for hours. Just seeing his mother happy about you made it the best. 

E: Endearing (Actions that mean a lot)

He appreciates when you stand up to Bakugou's taunts. You don't do it often but if you notice that the taunts are getting worse then you will step in.

You appreciate his pillow talk. Here me out. Every time you go to bed, Izuku is there talking about how he'll protect you and how he can't live without you. When he realizes you are asleep, you'll feel a kiss on the tip of your nose. 

F: Falling in Love (When they realized they love you?)

So it might have been during the Sports Festival. You actually ended up against a class 1-B student and won before going against Kaminari. Izuku was taking so many notes on you but he noticed he would mention your figure or your smile, not your quirk. He knew he was a goner. 

G: Giggle (What is their laugh like?)

Bright and cheerful. You love when Izuku is laughing because it seems like the day couldn't get any better. 

H: Hands (Where are their hands? Yours?)

Both of your hands are intertwined. Uraraka and Iida would definitely comment on this but you two always make the excuse to not loose each other. Iida still complains but you bet your money that Uraraka is gushing. 

I: Insecurities (What are the insecurities each have in the relationship?)

That he's not strong enough. Izuku feels that sometimes you deserve someone like Kirishima or even Bakugou. It hurts to see you pair so well with them. But you always erase those worries. 

You worry that you are holding him back. Izuku wants to be #1 and you feel like you are holding him from that. But if you ever try to distance yourself, Izuku will clobber you into a hug and apologize until you tell him your worries. 

J: Jealousy (Do they get jealous? How do they act?)

Not jealous but insecure. Like mentioned before, when Izuku sees you laughing with Kirishima he wonders if you should be with him. He trusts his classmates, well majority of them, but he just doesn't see why you like him. He usually doesn't mutter for a while and kinda becomes a shell of himself. 

K: Kisses (what are they like?)

Soft and shy. You always get a kiss before class, after school, and when you two walk home. Always. Tradition for you two. But it feels almost like a feather as he kisses you. 

L: Luscious (What is their favorite outfit on you?)

Definitely your hero uniform. He thinks you look beautiful in your uniform and also speaks looks. He also is a big praiser on it too. 

M: Mornings (what are mornings like?)

When you two live together, he gets up extremely early to train. So while he trains, it gives you enough time to get ready and fix breakfast for you two. 

N: Nightmares (how do you comfort them?)

Usually his nightmares have to do with you being taken by LOV. You know when he gets his mightmares because he whimpers. As long as you hug him tight he'll wake up and hold you close to him. 

O: Overtook (First impression)

You were a new student to class 1-A. Immediately Uraraka and Tsu took a liking to you but Izuku was too shy to talk to you. I mean what would a beautiful girl have to do with him?

P: Periods (How are they on your period? What do they do to help?)

Kinda odd at first but he talks to his mother. Then from there on, he is your servant. Always running to get things. Hold you when necessary. And of course love when you want extra loving. 

Q: Queen (Nicknames for each other)

His: either babygirl or sweets

You: Zuku, Deku, or babe

R: Raw (How to describe your love?)

Rebuilding. This is not in a bad way but your love always finds something new. Whether it is rebuilding each other's confidence or just finding new gifts, it's always different. 

S: Song (what is your song

Falling Slowly. It's a sweet song about falling in love slowly over time. And it seems like your love just always falls deeper over time.

T: Thought (favorite memory)

The day you two went swimming at a splash park with Uraraka, Iida, Tsu, and Todoroki. It showed how carefree you were and left a big smile on each other's face. 

U: Understanding? (How understanding are they?)

Very. It helps when both of you understand each other's pain. You know when each other is in pain or needs each other. 

V: Vanilla (Scent that they associate with you?)

Eucalyptus mint. Very relaxing and calming scent. Izuku always needs someone there to help him and this scent always makes him think of you. 

W: World (What do you do that makes them feel complete?)

You make him feel not alone in his struggles. Living up to All Might's expectations is hard and no one understands that. But you try. And that's enough for him. 

X: X.O.X.O (What is the number one text sent?)

Good morning Y/n! I love you. Be safe! 

Y: You (What are you to him?)

His anchor. You keep him grounded when life gets too hard and keep him human. He isn't invincible and he needs someone to tell him that. 

Z: Zircon (What gemstone represents you?)

Quartz. You are clear and always there to protect. You shine with your friends like how a quartz does when the sun hits it just right. 

[peachymilkandcream]

Fraud|Part 3|Yandere All Might x Hero!Reader

(A/N: Super naïve readers are always so much fun. The fact that this girl just worships the ground he walks on when he's like this is honestly great. Hope you enjoy and comment to be added to the taglist!)

WARNINGS: implied noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, graphic depictions of violence, mind breaking, misogyny, power imbalance, age difference, etc.

===============================================

"But All Might promised me! He said if I did as he asked then I would be let go! This isn't fair!" The criminal kicked and screamed, enraged that his interrogation was not going as planned.

All Might scoffed, the fool honestly believed that the Symbol of Peace and Justice would allow any criminals to walk free even if he had made some kind of deal? It was his own fault for being so greedy, believing that the Number One Hero would pay him to intimidate a fellow pro.

He should add stupidity to his list of crimes.

"Now not another word of you with this ridiculous tale. Why would All Might hire a thug like you and then turn him in? It makes no sense, how do you expect me to buy that outrageous story?"

"It's the truth I'm telling you, he approached me saying this chick he knew had something of his and he wanted me to get it back. He couldn't do it himself since he didn't want to damage his reputation so he hired me. He promised me my freedom and five hundred bucks!"

"To go and buy more of those drugs you're on that made you come up with this story? Seriously kid, you're trying my patience, if we don't get some answers soon it'll be a lot worse for you in court."

"I am telling you the truth! Why won't you believe me!?"

"Because criminal scum like you always try and defame All Might so he has to retire. It's disgusting."

"He's not the man you think he is! He'll do what it takes to get his way!"

"Enough of this." All Might spoke now, stepping into the room. His smile gone from his face and replaced by an angry glare. "Your attempts to soil my name have gone far enough." He glances at the Detective. "Could I have a moment alone with the suspect? I can get him to talk."

"Oh, sure All Might-" He sheepishly gathers his things before exiting the room, leaving the two of them alone.

"Now listen here you asshole, our deal was that if I did what you said you'd pay me and I'd split. What the hell is this?"

"Shut your mouth criminal. I would never agree to such heinous actions, and if you keep spouting off that I do then..I guess I'll have to adjust your behaviour."

The threat was heavy in the air. While All Might said nothing incriminating the other man knew that he meant it. And with a hero like All Might, a physical altercation is the last thing he wanted.

"So I suggest, when that Detective walks in here, you confess it was out of pure greed and some drug money, and we'll leave it at that. You can go to court and pay for your other crimes."

"And if I don't take the fall for you?"

Even his grimaces vanishes, turning into a thin line. "Then I suppose I'll show you what happens to those who spew out utter nonsense."

=============================================

"Ah Detective, the criminal confessed, but only after attacking me. He got so upset that no one believed his story that he just sprung into action. Admittedly I roughed him up a bit to teach him a lesson, but you should find he's very cooperative now."

"What would we do without you All Might? Now this guy can stay off the streets and everyone can sleep a little easier." He salutes the hero.

"Just doing what I can citizen." His phone rings, making him pause. "I'm sorry I have to take this, do you mind?"

"Of course not, please." He gestures for All Might to pass.

Which he does quickly before holding the phone up to his ear once in a secluded spot.

"What is it Nighteye."

"Bad news for you I'm afraid."

"Really? What is it."

"Your little friend was on the news again, apparently she's been singing your praises to every camera she can find about how you saved her. She's gaining some attention."

"This is bad. Too popular and I'll have to switch targets. Especially after I already started making my move-"

"That's not the worst of it."

"Then stop stalling Nighteye and tell me!"

"She was spotted today with a man, when asked by some nosey paparazzi she admitted he was a romantic partner."

All Might's expression darkened farther, another obstacle.

"I'll take care of it."

"If you kill him it could be a problem, grief might not let her be so susceptible to your plans."

"You have a point," He thinks for a moment. "Then the course to go is to lead her in the direction I want her to go and then cut him out of her life."

"Isolate her."

"Exactly."

"Be careful All Might, you don't want to get too risky."

"Trust me I won't." He pauses, examining a letter she had sent him through his fan-mail PO box, thanking him for saving her again.

"I already know what I'm going to do."

[maybeitsalivescribbles]

I wondered what would happen if heroes were stuck in a town without villains, and this is the result:

The Fakers

At the Hero Agency, the open space was silent. The clock alone was ticking the seconds away, although they seemed more like minutes for the three heroes inside. Only their suits added a touch of color in the gray room. It was a sunny day, but their expressions were as stern as their office. Settled behind their laptops, they frowned, scrolling furiously and refreshing the live news stream. Sometimes, they asked each other:

“Do you have something? Anything?”

Since they all checked the same sites, the answer was always negative. They couldn’t help, though. They kept asking. Suddenly, Hero 1 yelled:

“Hey, come and see this!”

The others jumped out of their seats, rushing to them:

“Something new?”

“A robbery?”

“A kidnapping?”

“A storm coming?”

“No! A cat video!”

Well, it was better than nothing. Everyone pressed around the screen to see the kittens. One minute and a half of glorious amazement later, they all turned back to their places, sharing embarrassed smiles.

During the next hour, a phone rang in Hero 2's pocket. They weren’t allowed to answer them in the office, but it was a long time that didn’t matter anymore. Without showing it, the others listened rapturously to every laconic answer Hero 2 made. After she hanged up, another asked innocuously:

“Everything’s all right?”

She raised her head as if it weighted too much for her neck:

“Hmm? Yes, yes. That was my sister Superhero, from the capital. She just fought Villain in hand-to-hand combat. She’s fine.”

“Oh. That’s good, then.”

“Sure.”

There was a tense silence. Everyone went back to their computers, and jumped when she hit the table with her fist:

“Damn it, why am I stuck in this office? I’m a goddamn loser!”

The other heroes glanced at each other nervously and didn’t answer, but she wasn’t finished:

“I can fight Villains just as well as her! I went to the same academy! I trained just as hard!”

Hero 3 tried to defuse the situation:

“We know, Hero 2. You fought so well during Supervillain’s attack-”

“That was two years ago!”

“Because...err..because we made such a good job Villains are scared to come here now?”

“No, damn it! It’s because that city is so bloody little no one is interested in taking it over! No building to explode, no rich people to kidnap, and I bet the bank only has pocket change! Nobody cares about us!”

No one replied. She was right and they all knew it.

“That’s not that bad,” tried to plead Hero 1. “I mean, if we were in the capital, we would see catastrophes and dead people every day. Isn’t this a reasonable price for peace? I-”

Hero 2 turned to face them, roaring:

“What about the money, Hero 1? What about the fucking money? We don’t find a villain to fight, the agency will cut our salary completely, and the health insurance. Do you have another safe job in mind, in this economy? I think not!”

Hero 1's gaze snapped to the floor.

“She’s right,” said Hero 3 in his soft, low, sad voice. “My daughter will get to college next year. I don’t know how to tell her that I might not have the money.”

“We’re screwed, aren’t we?” asked Hero 1 mournfully.

“If we keep wallowing, yes,” riposted Hero 2, knotting her fingers together. “But the academy has taught us not to give into despair. There must be something we can do.”

“No, not we, that’s the problem,” interjected Hero 3. “We just – we need a villain.”

“You have a list, Hero 1, don’t you?”

“Yes. I know who are the closest to us, and what crimes they have done. But you don’t suggest-”

Hero 2 stood up and paced the room, stopping just to look at them:

“I’m just saying! We’re out of options. Not all Villains do a lot of damage. If we set a trap for one to come here, it’ll be a good action, right? We’d be stopping them. That’s our job. We catch one, we make them promise to stay in town and not to hurt citizens, we let them go, rinse and repeat.”

The two others exchanged a glance. Hero 1 bit their lip, but as they were about to talk, Hero 3 shook his head:

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We don’t know the harm we can bring into the city.”

“Think about your daughter!”

“Lots of people here have a daughter. I couldn’t sleep at night if I hurt one of them. I’ve not become a hero to do this.”

He crossed his arms, on the defensive. Hero 2 stepped towards him, with a pleading smile:

“At least let’s take a look at them. Just a little peek at the list. We have to inform ourselves anyway.”

Hero 3 grimaced, but he went along when the two others came to see the list on Hero 1's computer.

“Oh, look at this gal! Only specialized in robberies, lives only 50 km from here.”

“Nah, read ahead,” protested Hero 3. She killed one hostage once.”

“Okay, fine,” sighed Hero 2. “What about this guy? He didn’t do much. Just kidnapped the mayor of his town once. I mean, who can blame him ? The man is nasty.”

“Yeah, but after that he kidnapped his eight-year-old boy to make a point. Pass.”

“If you nitpick like that, we’ll never find anyone!”

“You call this nitpicking? Anyway, what would you do to make them come here? Write a letter? “Dear Villain, come to wreck shit in our town so we can be paid, please don’t denounce us, signed Very amoral heroes?” That doesn’t make sense!”

“Do you have a better idea?”

Hero 3 hesitated.

“Maybe we should write a letter to the agency,” he proposed. If our job is done, maybe they’ll relocate us to a bigger town.”

“Do you know the rent there?”

“Maybe we can replace heroes who were wounded or something to begin with.”

Hero 1, who played with their pen during their conversation, suddenly threw it in the air with an exclamation of triumph. The pen hit Hero’s 2 shoulder, who yelped indignantly and encased it in ice with a snap of her fingers.

“I’ve got it!” yelled Hero 1, turning towards their colleagues with a huge grin. “Replace, that’s it!”

Opening a file which contained their schedules, they pointed at the others, adding:

“Heroes, meet our villains!”

Hero 2 and 3 looked at their finger designating them and exchanged a glance.

“You mean... we turn evil?”

“Listen to me. We can’t trust Villains to do the right evil thing. But we do, right? We know this town. We never patrol at the same time. While one of us do the heroing, another pretends to be a new villain in town. We train between each other, so we’ll have no problem fighting for show.”

The room fell into a brief, stunned silence.

“Can we do it?” wondered Hero 2, griping her elbows. “I mean, we’re heroes. Do we have what it takes?”

“I’m sure we can be whatever we want to be, replied Hero 1 reassuringly. Look at your willingness to throw away citizens' safety for yourself! That was very evil.”

Hero 2 blushed:

“Aw, you only say that.”

“I mean it! You’d be perfectly vicious!”

“My, that- that means a lot. You too, you’d be a really good evil mastermind.”

“Aw, thanks. And Hero 3 here was ready to destroy our plans at every turn! Just like a villain. Plus, at the last break, he ate the next doughnut.”

“I didn’t mean it!” he gasped, turning red.

They all looked expectantly at him.

“Nobody is coming to rescue us,” slowly said Hero 2, smirking. “Sometimes you have to be your own Villain.”

Hero 3 sighed and crossed his arms:

“I can sew,” he mumbled. “I’ll make us new costumes.”

*

Back to the Hero x Villain Masterlist.

[somethingwittyandweird]

Dawn of a New Year - 2025

So, once more, the turning of the year is upon us all, and once again I like to take in that an opportunity to recap the things that came before and reorient myself on what is still to come. No further ado needed, let’s start digging into the recently departed 2024.

A lot of the same things that went right in 2023 also went right in 2024, so I’ll list those first. I drew some pretty cool swords again- 5 years running, now. It was still a year full of lots of time spent with friends in person and in internet, and if anything I think I was in more gaming sessions than ever before. I got really into Civilization VI with friends, I had the incredible privilege to enjoy Four Swords for the first time with friends, and I’ve already written about how Splatoon 3 was the game that defined 2024 for me. I connected with so many people over it, and made unforgettable memories. This may be an indication of me being more open to partaking in multiplayer experiences than I’ve been in the past, which, hey, by all means let that continue. 

I don’t know that any particular new media is a standout for 2024- the things I liked previously I still continue to like, but nothing new added itself to my fandoms in a big way. I did listen to the McElroy’s TAZ: Vs Dracula after a while of not being in their sphere, and that was a delightful reminder of what I liked about their style of humor/actual play. Happy to know they’ve still got that magic that made me fall in love with TAZ Balance. And speaking of DnD…

I got to see, not just one, but two long running tabletop campaigns to completion this past year. One was an excellent Pathfinder isekai adventure to save the new world from the echoes of the old, run by @prismaticate. The other… was the best experience I think I’ve had in DnD. It’s been my longest and most consistent tabletop experience, and I didn’t think much when I began but as time went on, it turned into the *quintessential* campaign for me. I got to play through the campaign people imagine when asked to call to mind a DnD campaign; high fantasy adventure spanning the globe, godly emissaries, demonic invasions, perilous dungeons, extraplanar travel, epic fights, and unlikely heroes rallying against a powerful adversary for the fate of the world. I’ve never had the chance to see an OC’s arc to full completion like I did here, and it’s the highest honor I could enshrine my planologer warlock, Val, with. Endless thanks to the incomparable GM work of @imperatortez, and to my fellow players, for making Falamoore a campaign I’ll remember forever.

Outside of media and the things I do with friends, I did take some real life steps that made the year feel accomplished. I got to travel for business for the first time in my life (super cool experience, if just for the novelty). I successfully navigated switching health insurance providers and shouldered that adult burden without too much trouble. And I took classes again! I got to be in a college band ensemble for the first time in years, which was wonderful, and added an introductory paralegal course just to satisfy some long-held curiosity. Being back in an academic environment after so long felt as good as I knew it would, but more than that, it felt like I was finally taking steps towards a direction- that I wasn’t just settling for where I was.

I said last year, and the year before that, that I’m still waiting for a change in my life to happen- that where I am is comfortable and not easy to leave, but notwithstanding I would like to move into the next thing sooner or later, and the only question has been where between sooner and later that watershed is. As it turned out, 2024 wasn’t the year for that change either, even though in my own mental accounting I was kind of curious if it might be. It would fit nicely with the way my life’s cadence has been in fours since high school; four years of high school, four years of undergrad, then for years of this job before four years of the next thing. It didn’t happen that way, which is fine- it was an arbitrary enough pattern. So we’re spending five years where we are, and that’s alright by me. Five years isn’t a lot of time in some respects, even if it feels like it is in others. I still think I could stay exactly where I am for a couple more years and nothing bad would come of it.

But regardless of any arbitrary deadlines I did or didn’t meet, I did take those exploratory steps. And I still feel the change coming. And I think I can say it is closer now. It’s too far away to grab from where I am, there’s more groundwork that needs to be laid first, more steps that I need to take. But it feels… almost in reach. Maybe it’s time to start stretching more.

I’m hopeful to find out what I can achieve this next year. More than that- and this may just be the New Year’s zeal talking, but even so- I intend to find out. I intend to do more of the things that I liked this year that were good. I intend to spend more time with friends, deepening those connections, sharing more meals, sharing conventions and experiences, building things together. I intend to tackle gaming with the same zeal that blazed through much of my backlog this last year.

It’s always hard for me to make proper resolutions or definite goals, to say that I Won’t or that I Will have something done by a date. I think it leaves too much room for my brain to say ‘if I Haven’t by the date, then my own credibility to myself is tarnished.’ I'm compelled to allow for changing circumstances, for unknown factors. Even here I still don’t feel like putting things into hard numbers. But I do feel good about saying that, by the end of 2025, I will have accomplished a lot. And it feels good that that feels good.

I hope that your 2025 is a year of accomplishment as well, whatever that looks like to you. Whether that’s achieving a long held dream of your own, making time for joyful moments or connections, working on a better habit or some other internal improvement, or, at the end of the day, just making it through a turbulent world intact- that’s an accomplishment too.

I look forward to seeing what’s in store for each of us. Thanks for continuing to make my life better each year. 

Happy 2025.

[beefromanoff]

Project Mockingbird Ch. 20

summary: the mission, the safe house, the extracurriculars that follow.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC

author's note: HAHAHAHA GUYS I fully did not intend for the story to go there today, but here we are. enjoy ;) LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

tag list: @bangtanxberm @scott-loki-barnes @kayhi808 @charmedbysarge @cjand10 @capswife

(let me know if you want to be added <3)

chapter list

I padded out of the bathroom in my trusty pajamas, the soft cotton ones that I had packed specifically for "casual, inconspicuous, asexual lounging," as Natasha had put it. I ignored the barely-there lace set she’d somehow snuck into my suitcase when I wasn’t looking. Bucky was tossing a thin blanket onto the couch, trying to make it look suitable to sleep on. It looked about as comfortable as a slab of concrete, one of those pieces of furniture that’s clearly for fashion rather than function. Especially considering his size, there was no world in which he’d get a good nights’ sleep on that thing.

"Do you have something against comfort, Barnes?" I quipped as I leaned against the doorframe, watching him attempt to make the blanket fit across the length of the couch.

He glanced up, eyes flicking down over my pajamas, making me keenly aware of my lack of bra. "Just figured I’d be a gentleman, that’s all."

I crossed my arms, my eyebrow arching in amusement. "Come on, there’s a perfectly good bed here. And it's big enough for, like, three of me. Or two of you."

Bucky stood up, hesitating for a fraction of a second. "You sure? I’ve slept in worse ––"

"I’m sure. Besides," I continued, walking over to the king-sized bed and patting the mattress, "if one of us has a nightmare, the other can play the hero. You know, wake the other up before it gets too bad?"

"That’s... actually not a bad idea," Bucky conceded, though he still looked as if he were mentally measuring the distance between the couch and the bed.

The silence stretched for a moment before he finally picked up his pillow and made his way to the other side of the bed. "If you start stealing the blankets, though, I’m building a fort."

"I solemnly swear to keep my blanket thievery to a minimum," I said, my tone mockingly serious as I climbed into bed next to him.

We both settled under the covers, maintaining a respectful, almost comical distance between us. I lay on my side, facing away from Bucky, my eyes staring at the wall as if it might suddenly become interesting. All I could think about was the weight of his body on the mattress, pulling me towards him. The warmth of him. The way I could just roll over, touch him…

The room was silent, save for the soft hum of the air conditioning and our synchronized breathing. Every once in a while, I could hear Bucky shifting, as if he were also wrestling with the awkwardness of the situation. We’d agreed on a cool 66 degrees for the room, both of us embracing the likelihood that we’d wake up from a nightmare, panicked and sweaty. A cool room was a small comfort, an easy thing to agree on. At this moment, it served to keep us both from getting too warm in our full pajamas. My full length set had felt nice after a shower, but now, under the covers, it felt cumbersome. Like I was wearing too much clothing. I wondered if Bucky felt the same in his sweatpants and t-shirt. My normal sleep attire was a tank top and underwear, far less than I was currently wearing. What did he sleep in? A faded shirt and boxers? Boxers alone? I propped myself up on my elbows, reaching for the glass of water on my nightstand, clearing the thought from my head as my cheeks flushed. 

"Hey, Char?" His voice was soft in the darkness.

"Yeah?"

"If this were an actual date, I'd have said some smooth line about how you like your eggs in the morning.”

I chuckled, the sound muffled by my pillow. "Lucky for you, we’re just two spies in a bed. No lines necessary."

The tension seemed to ease a bit, and slowly, the space between us felt less like a wall we couldn’t cross. As sleep eventually claimed us, it was in a quiet understanding that for the first time in weeks, we weren't going to be alone with our nightmares. 

And miraculously, neither of us had one. 

When morning light spilled into the room, gently pulling me from the depths of an unprecedented peaceful sleep, I realized something had shifted—not just in the bed (which they had, by the way. I’d never seen such a violent sleeper, covers kicked off of his legs and one pillow on the ground), but perhaps in the silent agreement that we were in this mess together. I rolled over to face Bucky, whose eyes were already open, a trace of a smile on his lips.

"Morning," he said, the word simple, but not without warmth.

"Morning," I replied, feeling a surprising flicker of something like anticipation for the day ahead. 

“Coffee?” his voice was gruff, tired. Sexy?

“Coffee.”

“I’ll call room service.”

“Suddenly I’m remembering why I married you.”

______

Under the blazing sun, Charlotte lounged in the cabana, her gaze fixed on the two men seated at a table by the poolside bar. The earpiece nestled in her ear crackled to life as Bucky's voice filled her senses. Today was the day that the sale was supposed to take place. Sure enough, their buyer and seller were exactly where they’d predicted. Bucky, not exactly able to lounge at the pool without exposing his metal arm and therefore, his identity, was watching from the roof of a nearby villa. High enough that no one would be able to see him, but close enough that he had a perfect view of Charlotte.

Charlotte in that thin, stringy black bikini. Charlotte, laying back against the chair, propped up in a way that had the muscles in her stomach taut. Charlotte, the one who’s heartbeat he’d fallen asleep listening to last night. He shook his head, pressing a hand to his earpiece.

"Alright, Char, what's the plan?" His tone was serious, willing himself to switch to mission mode.

Charlotte smirked, adjusting her sunglasses as she replied, "Just sit tight, Tin Man. I've got this under control."

Bucky huffed a laugh, the sound tinged with a hint of exasperation. "Just don't get…distracted," he narrowed his eyes as a particularly confident set of men in Speedos walked in front of her.

Rolling her eyes, Charlotte scanned the scene before her, noting the men's movements. "Something tells me I’m not their type," she flipped a page on the magazine she was pretending to read, eyes still locked on their targets.

As one of the men pulled out a thumb drive, Bucky's voice grew more urgent. "They've got the goods. What's the play, Char?"

Charlotte's eyes narrowed, her mind racing as she formulated a plan. "Let me work my magic," she replied, a mischievous glint in her eye. “You got the camera ready?” 

“Yes…” His skepticism was evident, but he tugged the small drone from his backpack. Flipping it on, he felt it rise from his hand with a near-silent whir, soaring down to a vantage point above the pool. It was one of Stark’s newer inventions, equipped with the same stealth mode features as the Quinjets. Even in direct sunlight like today, it was completely invisible to the naked eye, making it perfect to transmit the video footage in real time. 

Bucky watched the scene below unfold. Both men leaned in over the table, clearly deep in conversation. One of them slid a small device, the zip drive, across the table. The other picked it up, examining it, before reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a thick envelope. Rounding the edge of the pool, Charlotte padded barefoot across the patio. She’d tied a sheer scarf around her hips, doing little to hide the skimpy swimsuit beneath. A sorry excuse for a cover-up, but one he couldn’t bring himself to look away from. She approached the men with calculated confidence, her smile coy. Holding eye contact with the buyer for just a fraction longer than normal politeness, she strode right by them and up to the bar. Leaning her elbows on the surface, she stuck her hips out ever so slightly. Both men clocked it, heads turned towards her backside. 

She could feel their gazes like a physical touch, exactly as she'd intended. Keeping her expression casual, she signaled the bartender. “Mojito, please,” she requested, her voice a melodic purr that carried just enough to ensure the men behind her could hear.

The bartender nodded, setting to work. As he did, Charlotte cast a sidelong glance at the pool’s reflection in the mirror behind the bar. The buyer and seller were still staring, their conversation momentarily forgotten. Charlotte allowed herself a small, satisfied smile.

“Put it on my tab.” A deep, mildly accented voice called from behind her. Bullseye.

When the bartender handed her the drink, Charlotte turned, making sure to force a blush into her cheeks “Oh, hi,” she said, her tone dripping with faux innocence. “You didn’t have to do that..”

The buyer—tall, with slicked-back hair and an expensive suit—smiled. “No problem at all,” he replied, eyes raking over her form, taking note of the absence of a ring on her left hand. The faux one she’d been given for the trip was sitting back on her nightstand. “Why don’t you join us? A beautiful woman like you shouldn’t be alone.”

Charlotte’s smile widened. “Well, if you insist.” She slid into the empty seat, crossing her legs slowly. “What brings you gentlemen here?”

In her ear, Bucky’s voice crackled. “Careful Char,” he warned. She ignored him.

The men exchanged a glance. “Business,” the seller replied curtly. He was shorter, stockier, with a sharp look in his eyes that spoke of years spent dealing with shady transactions, things he didn’t speak freely about.

“Oh?” Charlotte arched an eyebrow, taking a sip of her drink. “What kind of business?”

The buyer leaned in, lowering his voice. “The kind that pays well. Really fucking well.”

Charlotte laughed softly, leaning onto her elbows in a way that pushed her chest forward. Neither of the men made an effort to pretend they weren’t looking. “Sounds like my lucky day.”

Bucky watched from his vantage point, his jaw clenched. Charlotte was playing her part perfectly, but he couldn’t shake the unease gnawing at him. He adjusted the drone’s angle from his phone ever so slightly, ensuring he had a clear view of the table. As much as he wanted to see the show she was putting on, the point of the footage was to capture their faces, so he positioned the drone behind her.

Charlotte ran a finger along the rim of her glass, her gaze fixed on the zip drive that remained loosely held in the buyer’s left hand. “That looks vintage,” she remarked, nodding towards the watch on the same wrist. “Are you a collector?”

The buyer’s smile widened. “You could say that.” He set the zip drive down on the table, reaching over to tug up the sleeve on his left arm, holding it up for her to see. “1975 Rolex, custom made. Worth a fortune.”

Charlotte’s eyes widened slightly, feigning interest. “Really? I’ve always been fascinated by watches. Mind if I take a closer look?”

The seller hadn’t taken his eyes off her chest since she’d leaned on the table, and the buyer, clearly taken with her, unfastened and handed it over. “Be careful with it, darling. It’s not something you come across every day.”

“Of course,” she marveled. “I promise I’ll be gentle.” A mischievous look in her eye that showed a bit more than innocence. Her fingers brushed against the buyer’s as she took the watch, the touch lingering just a moment longer than necessary. She continued to ooh and ahh turning the watch over in her hands, asking questions she couldn’t give less of a shit about just to keep the men distracted.

Bucky’s grip on his phone tightened. The look in both men's eyes…he knew exactly what they wanted. Even if Charlotte was a professional, even if she could hand their asses to them with one arm tied behind her back, even if she was only his wife for the sake of the mission…it made his blood run hot. He willed her to work faster, to get out of there before one of them got handsy and made him do something he’d regret.

After twenty minutes that felt like an eternity, the buyer was fastening the watch back on his hand, the seller scrawling a phone number onto a cocktail napkin. Charlotte was cradling her chin in her hands, making doe eyes as she thanked them profusely for her drink. When the napkin was handed to her, she held it to her chest as she stood, blowing them a kiss before turning and striding away. She winked as she turned, her smile teasing. “Don’t miss me too much.”

 The men didn’t take their eyes off of her. 

Bucky swore, swiftly making his way back to the room.

As soon as she was out of sight, she quickened her pace, switching from the exaggerated swing of her hips to a brisk walk. 

“Buck,” She breathed, pressing a finger to her ear. 

“I’m here,” His answer was instantaneous. “Are you okay?”

“Meet me at the room,” She tried to keep the grin out of her voice. “Hurry!”

When she slid the keycard into the lock and pressed the door open, Bucky was already there, pacing. He stopped when he saw her, relief flooding his features. “Did you get it?”

“What, is it my first mission or something?” She slid her fingers into the triangle of fabric covering her left breast, tugging out a small black zip drive. Tossing it to him, Charlotte held up a thick envelope with a grin. “And a little something extra,” she said, tossing it onto the table with a thud. “But we’re not in the clear yet. They’ll notice soon enough.”

“Char,” He shook his head as if he wasn’t sure whether to scold or commend her for the envelope of cash she’d somehow snuck out without a single piece of fabric on her body large enough to cover it. Letting out a small chuckle, he tossed the drive back to her. “Then let’s get out of here.”

They gathered their things quickly, filling their small suitcases and –– in Charlotte’s case, changing into something a little less revealing. With a crochet sundress slipped over her bikini, she tucked the zip drive into her purse and held the door open. Bucky, one suitcase in each hand, strode right through.

“Nice work,” Bucky said, his voice low as they walked. “You handled that perfectly.”

Charlotte smirked. “What can I say? I’m good at what I do.”

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, you are. Now let’s get this back to Stark.”

“Wait,” She paused. “Give me ten minutes. Can you have the Quinjet on the roof of that villa by the pool?” 

“Char,” His tone was warning. 

“Ten minutes,” She was already walking away.

Bucky looked up, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. “Where the hell are you going? We got what we came for.”

Charlotte held up a key card as she walked backwards. “This little beauty gives us access to Mr. Seller’s room. Who knows what other goodies we might find?”

“Charlotte, we can’t risk it. We need to get out of here now,” Bucky insisted, his voice tight with concern.

“Relax, Buck. I’ve got this. Just get the Quinjet ready and meet me on the roof in ten,” she waved him off, rounding the corner.

“Charlotte!” Bucky called after her, but she was gone, leaving him to swear under his breath. He had no choice but to follow her lead and hope she knew what the hell she was doing.

Charlotte moved through the resort with practiced ease, her heart pounding with adrenaline. She was thankful she put a dress on over the swimsuit, but admittedly could have opted for better shoes than the sandals she’d slid into. She slipped past other guests, too caught up in their own vacation to notice her at all. Sliding the key card into the lock, she felt a surge of triumph as the door clicked open. 

Inside, she quickly scanned the room, her eyes landing on a sleek laptop and a burner phone on the desk. She grabbed both, stuffing them into her bag. As she turned to leave, she heard the unmistakable sound of security personnel approaching, an angry male voice giving them a description. Brunette, around 5’7, nice tits, upper twenties. Well, they got almost all of it right. Her pulse quickened, and she ducked out of the room, making a swift exit.

The resort was now teeming with security, their radios crackling with alerts about a thief on the property. Charlotte moved swiftly, weaving through staff hallways and down the staircases, her senses on high alert. Her head was down, eyes concealed behind sunglasses as she tried her best to be stealthy in the world’s least conducive footwear.

“Hey, you!” A voice called out from behind her. She didn’t stop to see who it was. “Excuse me, ma’am, we need to ask you a few questions.” 

Charlotte paused just long enough to turn around and give the approaching guard a bewildered look. She spoke in rapid French, her tone laced with confusion and a hint of panic. “Je suis désolée, je ne parle pas anglais! Je cherche ma chambre, où est la réception?”

The guard hesitated, thrown off by the sudden language barrier. He glanced around for backup, clearly unsure how to proceed. “Uh, ma’am, we just need to—”

“Merci, merci!” Charlotte interrupted, nodding vigorously before turning and continuing her hurried pace down the hallway. The guard, still unsure, didn’t pursue immediately, giving her the precious seconds she needed.

As she rounded another corner, she slipped into a staff-only hallway, ducking through a door that led to a service corridor. The walls were lined with cleaning supplies and utility carts, providing some cover as she moved. She could hear footsteps echoing behind her, growing closer.

Charlotte spotted a side exit leading to the outdoor pool area and darted through it, emerging into the bright sunlight. The sudden change in environment disoriented her pursuers momentarily, but she knew she had to keep moving.

“Ma’am, stop right there!” Another guard shouted, now joined by a second one. They were closing in.

Without missing a beat, Charlotte kicked off her sandals and broke into a full sprint, her bare feet slapping against the hot pavement. She zigzagged through the resort, dodging guests and weaving between loungers and pool chairs.

Her heart pounded as she approached the pool, diving over a low hedge and slipping through a narrow gap between two cabanas. She could hear the guards shouting, their frustration evident as they tried to keep up.

“Bucky, I need that Quinjet now!” she hissed into her comms, her voice low but urgent.

“On it,” Bucky replied, the hum of the Quinjet’s engines audible in the background.

Charlotte spotted the rooftop access door ahead, but so did the guards closing in on her. She raced up the final flight of stairs, her muscles burning with the effort.

Bursting through the rooftop door, she saw the Quinjet hovering just above, the hatch open and waiting for her. With a final burst of speed, she launched herself towards it, hands grasping the edge as she hauled herself inside.

Bucky reached out, pulling her up the rest of the way. “What the hell were you thinking?” he snapped, his eyes flashing with anger.

Charlotte grinned, breathless but exhilarated. “I was thinking we could use a little more intel. And look what I found,” she said, pulling the laptop and phone from her bag.

Bucky shook his head, his frustration evident. “You could have been caught. Or worse.”

“But I wasn’t,” Charlotte winked, her tone light. “You worry too much, Buck.”

“That’s because you don’t worry enough,” he shot back, his voice edged with concern. “One of these days, your luck is going to run out.”

“Maybe,” she conceded, breathless and grinning. “But not today.”

Bucky sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Let’s just get out of here.”

As the Quinjet rose higher into the sky, Charlotte settled into her seat, her pulse finally starting to slow. She glanced over at Bucky, who was still fuming, his jaw set in a tight line.

“Hey,” she said softly, nudging his arm. “We did good today. And now we have even more to bring back to Stark.”

Bucky looked at her earnest smile, his expression softening just a fraction. “Yeah. We did.”

Charlotte leaned back, closing her eyes as the adrenaline began to fade. She knew Bucky was right—her risk-taking tendencies could be dangerous. But she also knew that without them, she sure as hell wouldn’t have gotten this far. It was a fine line to walk, but she was willing to walk it for the sake of the mission—and, if she was honest, for the thrill of it all.

The Quinjet sped across the sky to their rendezvous point, the cities below them all blurring together. It was just another day in their complicated, unconventional lives, but for Charlotte, it was a day well spent. And as she felt Bucky’s gaze linger on her, she knew that despite his frustration, he couldn’t deny the spark of excitement that her antics always seemed to ignite.

As they settled in for the rest of the flight, Bucky shot Charlotte a sideways glance, a hint of admiration in his eyes. "You're something else, Char," he remarked, a wry smile betraying his stern tone.

Charlotte grinned back at him, her pulse still racing with the thrill of the chase. "Just trying to keep the spark alive.” 

He raised an eyebrow at her. 

“In our marriage,” She winked. “Duh.” 

Bucky snorted, shaking his head. "If this is your idea of a marriage, I'm not sure I can handle the honeymoon."

Charlotte leaned closer, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "Oh, come on, you know you love it. Admit it, Barnes, you were on the edge of your seat watching me back there."

He rolled his eyes but couldn't hide the small smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, on the edge of my seat ready to jump in and save your reckless ass."

"Please," she scoffed, waving a hand dismissively. "I had everything under control. You worry too much."

Bucky's smile faded slightly, his expression turning serious. "And you don't worry enough. You can't just keep pulling stunts like that, Char. One day, you might not be so lucky."

Charlotte's playful demeanor softened for a moment. "I know, Bucky. But a very wise tutor of mine once told me to know the plan, but never be afraid to pivot during battle. And besides," she added, her grin returning, "isn't that why you love working with me? Keeps you on your toes."

He shook his head, a reluctant chuckle escaping his lips. "A wise tutor, huh?"

“Don’t let it go to your head.” 

“I’ll do my best.” He shot her a sidelong look. “No more stunts like these, okay? I’m too old for this shit.”

She saluted him with a mock-serious expression. "Aye aye, Captain. No more near-death experiences...for today."

Bucky rolled his eyes again but couldn't suppress his grin. "You're impossible."

"And yet, here you are, stuck with me," she teased, leaning back in her seat.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Just promise me you'll be careful, Char. I don't want to have to explain to Nat why we lost her favorite agent."

Charlotte placed a hand over her heart in a mock pledge. "I solemnly swear to be as careful as my reckless nature allows."

Bucky shook his head, but his eyes were warm. "That's a start."

______

An hour into the flight back to the compound, they’d received an incoming call from Agent Hill. Apparently the notorious Midwestern spring storms were looming in their path, making the normally simple flight a little more treacherous.

Bucky rubbed his jaw as he leaned against the console of the Quinjet, exchanging an exasperated glance with Charlotte. "Maria, what do you mean we can't fly? We're in the sturdiest fucking aircraft there is."

Maria Hill's voice crackled over the comms, her tone firm but sympathetic. "I know, Barnes, but we've got some bad storms rolling directly through your path. It's not safe to be up there right now. You need to find somewhere to land and wait it out until the weather clears."

Charlotte crossed her arms, frustration evident in her voice. "Agent Hill, we have intel we need to get to you. We’re so close to being home, just another two hours ––"

"I understand, Charlotte," Maria interrupted, her tone firm. "But your safety comes first. You won't be any good to us if you end up caught in a storm or worse. We received the drone footage from Sergeant Barnes, any other intel can wait until you get back tomorrow"

Bucky sighed, running a hand through his hair. "She's right, Char. We can't risk it."

Charlotte shot him a defiant look. "Where the hell are we supposed to go? Where even are we?"

Natasha's voice cut in over the comms, her tone calm but authoritative. "You’re over Oklahoma. I’d recommend detouring south to avoid the storm cell, hiding out in our North Texas safe house. I’ll send over the coordinates."

Bucky exchanged a resigned glance with Charlotte before nodding. "Fine. It better not be one of the shitty old ones."

"It’s one of Stark’s old vacation homes," Maria replied. "I think you’ll find it…comfortable. Just be safe, both of you. We'll regroup once the weather clears."

With a heavy sigh, Bucky switched off the comms, the tension in the cockpit palpable. They were so close to being back home, but now they were grounded by forces beyond their control. As Bucky scanned the horizon, the storm clouds loomed ominously in the distance, making Charlotte’s stomach flop. She’d grown up in a cold, frigid climate. Summer storms and tornadoes still made her uneasy, especially combining an unfamiliar environment. 

But she wasn’t the captain, and they’d been given a direct order. Sighing, Charlotte leaned back in her seat, knowing there was no amount of insubordination that would get her out of this one. 

As the Quinjet touched down in the field next to the large safe house, Bucky and Charlotte stared out the windshield, both sighing deeply. The rain was coming down in sheets, making visibility near zero. They could barely see the house thirty yards in front of them. With a sense of resignation, they grabbed the bags, hurried out of the Quinjet and dashed towards the safety of the house. The rain soaked them through in a matter of seconds as they sprinted across the yard.

They stumbled up the porch steps, clumsy and slipping, as they reached for the door handle, their soaked clothes clinging to their skin. Bucky punched in the security code, and with a click, the door swung open. 

They practically tumbled inside, Bucky dropping both of their bags on the ground with a wet thunk. Water pooled at their feet as they stood in the entrance hall, dripping onto the undoubtedly expensive hardwood floor.

Charlotte let out a breathless laugh, running a hand through her sodden hair. "Well, this is…not how I saw today going."

Bucky scowled, raising an eyebrow at her. "Funny, I’ve thought that several times today."

“Don’t be a dick.” She rolled her eyes. 

As the rain continued to pour outside, Charlotte stood dripping on the rug, her soaked dress clinging to her curves, her hair plastered to her skin. Grabbing the hem of her dress, she tugged it over her head, revealing that damn black bikini underneath. Pulling it over her head, she paused, the soaked material knotted in her long, dark hair, already curling from the rain. She hesitated, glancing back at Bucky, her expression a mix of frustration and amusement as she attempted to tug the ends of her hair free.

"Good thing I’m wearing a swimsuit," she muttered, her voice laced with sarcasm.

Bucky watched her, momentarily stunned into silence by the sight before him. He couldn't tear his gaze away from her, the way the rain droplets ran down her body, the way her muscles moved beneath her skin as she tangled with her hair. His heart raced in his chest, his blood burning in his veins.

"Let me help you with that," Bucky finally said, his voice low and husky as he stepped forward. Moving closer to Charlotte, he reached out to gently untangle the dress from her hair, his fingers brushing against her shoulder with a feather-light touch. 

Charlotte's breath caught in her throat as Bucky's touch sent a shiver down her spine. She met his gaze, her eyes locking with his in a silent exchange. He easily freed the dress, letting it drop to the floor. There was a palpable tension in the air, thick with things they’d repressed, fought against, lied to themselves about. Now, everything that had previously stood in their way was nowhere to be found. There was no mission, no teammates sharing a wall, no Sam to come interrupt them. 

In a way, it felt like they’d lost their safety net. Nothing stood between them and certain death. 

Nothing stood between them at all. 

"Thanks," Charlotte murmured, her voice barely above a whisper as she stepped back, the space between them suddenly feeling charged with electricity.

Bucky swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest as he struggled to maintain his composure. He felt his grip on himself loosening, slipping away. His fists clenched at his sides. Closing his eyes, he swallowed hard, trying to remember any reason he shouldn’t do what his body was telling –– begging him to do. 

He felt her touch first. 

Her hands on his leather jacket. They gripped the lapels, pulling it back, down his arms. It dropped to the floor. 

Her hands found the hem of his t-shirt, slid beneath it. His skin burned under her touch, where she brushed his stomach as she lifted the shirt. Raising his arms, their eyes locked as she reached up to pull it over his head. His hair was soaked, a few loose strands plastered to his face. Giving in to her temptation, she ran her hands down his body. Her fingers trailed over his collarbone, over the ridge where his arm met his shoulder, over his chest and the muscles that rippled across his abdomen. She let her eyes roam over him unapologetically, drinking up every muscle, every scar, every glint of his arm in the low light. When she looked back up to meet his gaze, she almost didn’t recognize the man staring down at her.

There was a wild look in his eye that made Charlotte forget who she was, who he was. It burned into her, making her feel naked in ways far beyond just clothing. 

Without breaking eye contact, he kicked off his boots. His hands went to his belt, unfastening it, unbuttoning his jeans, lowering the zipper. He paused, seeming to come back to himself for a moment. They stood there, still soaking wet, in the entryway. Rain pounded against the roof, wind howling outside. Charlotte was in a black bikini, Bucky in unbuttoned jeans. Both of them showing more skin to the other than they’d ever dared. 

A moment passed between them. Shallow breathing. Hungry eyes. Thunderous heartbeats. 

Slowly, tortuously, Charlotte reached up and brushed her wet hair to one side. Her eyes remained locked on Bucky as she tugged on one string of her bikini top. The knot on the back of her neck instantly unraveled, the top falling down to her stomach, revealing her bare chest to him. His breath caught in his throat, his pants feeling tighter. She reached her hands down to the second knot, tugging on it before letting the whole swimsuit top join the rest of their discarded clothing on the floor. 

“Fuck,” Bucky breathed, unable to formulate another thought. 

Charlotte took a step towards him, closing the gap between them. She looked up at him, cocking her head ever so slightly. “Is that an offer?” 

Whatever leash he’d had on his restraint snapped. 

Bucky reached out, his hand cupping Charlotte's cheek as he leaned in closer, his lips mere inches from hers. His heart hammered in his chest, every nerve in his body on edge with anticipation.

Charlotte's breath caught in her throat as she felt Bucky's touch, his warmth seeping into her skin and setting her ablaze. She met his gaze, her eyes dark with longing, silently urging him to take the next step.

And then, in a heartbeat, it happened. Bucky closed the final distance between them, his lips crashing into hers. It was hard and ravenous and impatient and greedy. His hand slid from her cheek to the nape of her neck, tangling in her wet hair. His other hand found her waist, gripping her hard with cold metal fingers. Her arms wrapped around his torso, trailing down his back. She dug her nails in ever-so-slightly, eliciting a low moan from him, devoured by their kiss. 

The kiss was a mess of wet skin and lust, it was sloppy and desperate. For a fleeting instant, nothing else mattered but the electrifying connection between them, the raw intensity of their desire igniting like a wildfire. It was a kiss of longing and longing, a silent confession of the feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long.

A big fuck you to every single time they’d repressed their feelings, every single time they’d fought the urge to cross this line in the sand.

Charlotte’s hands slipped into his waistband, tugging his soaked jeans down over his hips. Bucky stepped out of them, leading Charlotte backwards without breaking the kiss. They stepped backwards through the dark entryway, dripping water across the floor. Charlotte’s hands gripped either side of his face as she followed his lead, one of his hands on her lower back, the other outstretched behind her. With a thud, his hand collided with a wall, immediately backing her against it. Their bare chests collided, skin sticky from the rain and warm with desire. 

In one movement, both of Charlotte’s hands were pinned above her head in a vibranium grip. Bucky angled his head, reaching up to cup her jaw as he slid his tongue along her lower lip. A whimper, a whine escaped her lips, only serving to ignite him further. Sliding a knee between her thighs, Charlotte nearly gasped at the sensation. She writhed against his thigh, chasing this strange and euphoric feeling as he rubbed against her. His hand dropped from her jaw, trailing down her neck, across her breasts, down her stomach. It reached around behind her and slid into her bikini bottoms, squeezing her ass so tightly she sucked in a breath. She’d never felt this good, felt this needy, this desperate. 

She’d never done this before. 

Her heart thudded in her chest as Bucky released her hands, bringing both of his down underneath her, lifting her up until her back was against the wall and her legs were wrapped around him. She locked her ankles behind his back, pulling his hips even closer to hers. He was rock hard, pressing against the spot threatening to ignite her whole body. Wiggling her hips, she ground herself into him.

“Oh, God ––” He closed his eyes, throwing his head back as her hips pressed against him. 

When he brought his head back down, he pressed his forehead to Charlotte’s, both of their breaths coming in ragged gasps. Hearts pounded, chests heaved. For a moment they stayed, pinned against the wall, holding each other. 

“Char,” He groaned. 

“Mmm,” The noise she made was somewhere between a reply and a moan as she ran her hands through his hair. 

“Do you want this?” 

She paused, hands freezing on his neck. 

Hell yes, fuck yes, she absolutely wanted this. This sensation, this feeling, everything that was just happening. She wanted it to never, ever end. She wanted to feel him, she wanted to give herself to him, let this aggressive and demanding version of James Buchanan Barnes take as much of her as he needed. 

“Buck…” She breathed, closing her eyes. 

“Hey,” He slowly lowered her to the ground, ensuring she was steady on her feet before reaching up to cup her cheeks. “Hey, what’s wrong? We don’t have to do this, we don’t ––”

“No,” She met his gaze, eyes determined. “I want this. I want…this.” Rising onto her tiptoes, she gripped the back of his head, bringing his lips to hers in a slow, wet, deep kiss. They slowly separated, Charlotte dropping back down to her normal height. “I want it all…so badly. I just,” She closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the wall. “I don’t know how.” 

A moment of silence passed between them. 

“You don’t know how…” He spoke the words slowly, as if he was trying to figure out what they mean. 

“I mean, I never have.” Her eyes met his, willing, begging him to understand. “I don’t know what to do.” 

“Oh,” Bucky's gaze softened as he realized what Charlotte was trying to tell him. He gently brushed a strand of hair from her face, his touch tender and reassuring. "Oh." he repeated, his voice filled with understanding. 

"Charlotte, that's nothing to be ashamed of." He paused, searching her eyes for any sign of discomfort. "It's okay. We don't have to rush into anything. We can take our time." His hands slid down the backs of her arms, gently, softly.

Charlotte's eyes flicked up to meet his gaze, and she tangled her fingers in his own as they reached down her arms. "What if I don’t want to take my time," she breathed, her voice trembling slightly. 

“Char…”

"Bucky.” She squeezed his hands. “I want this. I want to do this. I want to learn. With you. I trust you."

Bucky's heart swelled, and he leaned in to press a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'll teach you," he whispered, his lips brushing against her skin. "We'll go slow. I'll show you everything, and if you ever want to stop, you just tell me, okay?"

She nodded, her insides throbbing at his gentleness. Bucky lifted her chin, making sure she looked into his eyes. "We'll start with the basics," he said, his voice steady and comforting. "We'll go at your pace."

“Can we skip the basics and go back to where we just were?” She pleaded, bringing his hands up to her breasts. A groan escaped his lips as he squeezed, ever-so-gently. His thumbs grazed her nipples before trailing back down to her hips. 

“If you want me to teach you…you have to let me start from the beginning.” A devilish grin.

He leaned in again, his lips capturing hers in a slow, tender kiss. This time, there was no rush, no urgency. It was a kiss filled with promise and patience, a kiss that told her he was in no hurry and that he valued her comfort above all else.

Charlotte melted into the kiss, her hands slowly finding their way to his shoulders. She felt the heat of his body, the steady beat of his heart against her chest. It was a feeling of safety, of being cherished.

Bucky's hands moved gently, exploring the curves of her body with a reverence that made her feel beautiful and desired and fuck, so impatient. He took his time, tantalizing her. As his hands caressed her back, her sides, and finally the soft skin of her belly, Charlotte felt like she was going to boil over.

When he finally broke the kiss, she was breathless but smiling. "How was that?" Bucky asked softly, his forehead resting against hers.

"Perfect," Charlotte whispered, her voice strained. "But can we get to the next part, please."

He smirked, his thumb gently tracing the outline of her jaw. "What’s the rush, Char?"

She groaned, leaning her head back. “You’re killing me, Buck,” 

“Am I?” He cocked his head in a way she’d never seen, mouth slightly agape. His hand trailed down her stomach, slid between her legs, making her bite her lip so hard it nearly split. Metal fingers slid the band of black fabric to the side, making a long, leisurely swipe through her. A truly pathetic whimper escaped her lips as he pulled his hand back up, examining his fingers in the dim lighting. His gaze darkened as he looked her dead in the eye, bringing his fingers to his lips and slowly sucking the first two.

“Bucky,” Charlotte whined. “Please.” 

Bucky's grin widened, and he took her hand. “For the next part,” He led her towards a long hallway. “I think we’ll need a bed.” 

[ncsdlr]

Hit List

The Unfulfilled

Marvel

Warnings: Angst, making out, death, implied trauma, emotional pain, grief, crying, killing, failed love(?), unrequited love(?), mutual pining, manipulation

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4501

A/N: This has been in my drafts for literally almost a month. I literally finished it then sent it to my friend for proofreading then thought I might add some more stuff, so now here I am after adding said stuff. The added stuff was not proofread.

-----------------

"Your next assignment." Natasha scanned the nearly blank page with her earthy green eyes, reading its contents with pure curiosity and determination. She was the best of the best in her high ranking, and she would be damned if she let that title slip through her nimble fingers. Natasha walked out of her workplace with a pep in her step with the things she would need in her purse. 

Namely, chapstick. 

As Natasha drove to your home, the energetic music of Sia playing on her car radio. The redhead opted to listen to the great Sia when on missions, seeing as she offered her strangely calming vibes. Natasha judged the way your Czech Republic home looked. It definitely needed some upgrades. The crack in the walls seemed so unsafe and the peeling paint too? So unfashionable. Natasha grunted at the hideous design of your building. It was so outdated. You surely could have done way better. Natasha wished on every existing dandelion on earth that you would, at least, be her type. She needed to have fun while working. 

****

"So what do I have to do e-exactly?" You rubbed at your chest as it began to tighten around your heart. This gorgeous woman could be the death of you. Literally. The two of you walked up the seemingly never-ending stairs of the Fraternity she worked in. You don't even know if you were roped into this job by her eyes or the promise of becoming better, but honestly, you sort of didn't even care. 

Sort of.

In a world where what you can become is very limited, this was a bright opportunity for you. You thought of Natasha's proposition as something that can open new doors for you. All you could think of was the prospect of doing something good in this world while having fun in return, that and the part where you were going to be trained too. 

"All you have to do, for now, is get trained. Then, once you're deemed ready by yours truly, you will be given an assignment that you must complete." Natasha walked around a table and you followed suit only to realize that the two of you walked in a circle around it twice before a man with whitened hair in a black suit with his arms behind his back revealed himself. "Then after that, you get more assignments, more targets, more responsibilities-"

"Wait, wait, targets? What does that mean?"

"She means you will be one of us. A killer taking down other killers." The man in the black suit says looking completely unbothered by the whole occurrence.

"Wha- a killer who kills kille- hold on." You raised both your hands and basked in the silence they allowed you to have and thought about everything going on at the moment. After a solid few minutes, the only thing you could come up with was, "So a hero?"

The pair before you sighed, one of them pinching the bridge of her nose and the other raising his eyebrows to his hairline while his eyes squeezed tight, both in an attempt to gather their bearings with how...slow you were. This is going to take so long, she's lucky she's pretty, Natasha thought. 

"No, Miss Y/L/N, not a hero. More of a vigilante with a twisted morale."

The way Natasha said so nonchalantly made your eye twitch, the glint of your eyes showing both confusion and understanding at the same time. Then, all of a sudden, you find yourself in a knife battle with a butcher who seems to have it out for you in a room full of hanging gutted pigs. He used his knives against you rather carelessly to the point where you were actually bleeding from three knife wounds. One on your side, one on your arm, and one on your back.

You were going to pass out. 

****

After two months' worth of on-and-off dedication to this new thing Natasha offered you, your decision is finally whole. You were in. And you celebrated that with Natasha by way of completing a mission and going for dinner afterward. It was all so much fun to hang out with Natasha in such an intimate way while still keeping it professional. She was such a lovely soul to get to know. Anybody would be lucky to know her wholly. 

"So how do you feel?" Natasha eyed you through the burger she was taking a bite of as she asked you her query. She was so adorable.

"Honestly, fulfilling, but still kind of mixed. I just don't know what these people did, if they were bad people, if they were involved in the wrong kind of business, or if they had families. I mean, how do we know for sure we're doing the right thing here?" 

Natasha chewed and swallowed before she spoke again. "The work we do has a questionable judgment, yes, but how we see it is that by taking out one person, we save possibly a million. The result is what we put our faith in, not the work itself." 

"That's beautiful." You smiled at Natasha gently as the night dragged on. When the two of you were walking back to the Fraternity, you could swear that Natasha's hand kept brushing yours, but with how closely the two of you were walking, you dumbly let it slide and deemed it to be a coincidence. 

It really couldn't be anything, right? I mean, you just killed a guy- very skillfully, might I add -so, surely this soft moment can't be happening. Plus, Natasha Romanoff is just a very flirty all-work type of gal. She didn't exactly strike you as the type to commit, so you figured it's best to hold off on that... stuff.

What a fucking day.

****

Another month flew by and now you were three missions deep into this Fraternity including your first "celebratory" mission. It was all exhilarating, to say the least. Everyone on the team had their special talents and reasons for working with this Frat, and everyone got along with everyone. They were all good people, especially Natasha. She had such a golden heart with a thick, strong glass barrier. 

Truly, you've grown fond of this team over the past three months, and to call them your extended family would be a rightful title for them. They were all so caring. They treated each other like brothers and sisters, born with the same blood, and protected each other even if it meant losing their own lives or getting hurt themselves. 

You saw that for yourself once, and to say that you were honored would be the greatest understatement of the fucking year. It happened on a mission where all of you were required to fight the same battle as one. You were fighting one of the enemy goons and you were too busy to see that one guy was aiming at you with a rifle. One of your peers took the shot for you, using his body as a shield for you while simultaneously shooting at your perpetrator. 

Your bond with them solidified after that day. Gone were the many trust issues you had with them because now, you had a reason to trust them with your life. You couldn't think about that right now though. Right now, you are a little too preoccupied with planning how to carry out the latest mission assigned to you.

It was a pretty simple mission, one that required you to assassinate one of the guys in a well-renowned company. They were supposed to have a meeting in two days, according to the details you were given, so that's when you were going to make your move. The days passed by rather quickly with you simply moping around the Fraternity and training when you felt like it. You called it "strength preservation".

****

You stood on a moving train with Natasha sitting comfortably parallel to you with your gun in hand. You were checking if your gun needed anything more while you waited for the right moment to shoot your victim. You playfully aimed your gun at Natasha who merely smirked back at you. You thought it was sadistic, how being held at gunpoint made her reflect a toothy grin. It filled you with butterflies.

As your target's building came closer, you made no move to aim away from Natasha. You wore a sinister smile, one that was reflected beautifully by Natasha, and when the time was right, you pulled the trigger. With the way you were trained in the Fraternity, you learned how to bend the bullets you shot. Therefore, when you brought your arm back, and swung it back at Natasha, your bullet went straight through the window of the meeting room where your target was located, hitting him right in his stupid heart. Perfectly untraceable. 

As opposed to Natasha's previous position on the roof of the moving train you stood upon, leaning back on her hands while one of her legs rested and the other was propped up, now, she was applauding you for your successful mission. You looked at her with a bright shy smile weaving your fingers through your hair while you calmly walked closer to her and sat down. 

"Learned from the best." You stated proudly.

"Yeah, you did."

"Way to ruin the moment."

A blissful silence befell the two of you, leaning back to watch the sunset over the horizon of Russia. It was beautiful. You had just killed someone and now you were watching the day slowly end. It was somewhat peaceful as opposed to the chaos happening in the meeting room where their dead boss lay limp in his chair. You would have laughed if you saw the people running around in a panic. Meanie.

It was a moment where two assassins, you and Natasha, got to pause the world on a moving train. It was unsafe, but the thrill of it gave both of your hearts the flutter it needed. As you looked at the setting sun, Natasha's eyes, unbeknownst to you, turned to your side profile. She could get used to staring at you, your sculpted nose, your voluptuous lips, and the subtle shine in your pretty eyes. Gosh, you looked so beautiful, ready to be ravished by way of flowers and chocolates and surprise dates. 

But Natasha knew she couldn't. With her initial agreement with the Fraternity leader and how you came about, she just couldn't. Not even if she tried.

****

Another day, another mission for you where Natasha was monitoring. She wasn't really required to monitor you, you both knew that, but it just felt right to be near each other so neither of you ever mentioned it. As opposed to the other places you went to with Natasha after missions, this time the two of you laid upon a random blanket the two of you found in the park. When you found it, Natasha insisted on shaking it off before taking a seat on it, saying that there could be bugs on it for all you knew. 

You complied, of course.

The two of you watched the stars, occasionally pointing out constellations you would see in the sky or stars that formed a funny shape- the latter was your doing most of the time. It was calming to both of you how the stars just twinkled above your bodies while you gazed into each other eyes- when did that happen?

At the moment, the moon hosting and the stars watching, the two of you held a silent conversation, one that was had through your eyes that have seen many troubles before each other. As you looked at each other, the world simply faded, quietly and stealthily, leaving only the two of you on a random blanket in the park. 

Suddenly, -you don't know how- Natasha was on you, straddling your lap while cradling your face in her hands so gently. It almost seemed like she feared your head would shatter if she handled you incorrectly. It felt so nice, so right, so meant to be. It was like you only knew each other and nothing else like the two of you existed in a void where you were each other's light in the dark. The warmth between your bodies grounded you enough to keep you both reminded of the place you were in, not that the two of you paid any attention to that. 

Then it happened. In the blink of an eye, the two of you lip-locked. Your soft lips on Natasha's plump ones. It felt so good to finally have each other like this. This was the moment the two had been waiting for; a moment where hands wandered over each other's bodies, feeling each other up as if it would be the last time. 

That night, no intercourse was had, but rest assured, love was made. Love was made in the form of soft gliding hands, gyrating hips, connected lips, shared warmth, and hands held tight. Love was made in ways of fingers running through hair, whispered praises, eye contact, and hugs. More kisses were shared throughout the night. Stolen or not, they were most definitely shared.

No word was muttered after that soft moment. Neither of you expected anything to happen too, but you did hope. The two of you hoped that one day, you could work something out, talk about the things that the two of you needed to talk about and get together. Because that's what the two of you wanted; to be together. It didn't matter how long it took, all you knew, at that moment, was that you wanted each other. 

And that would be enough until it wasn't.

****

How did we get here? 

Ah, yes. 

It all started when you were on another mission and your target had a loose mouth. He flapped his tongue and sputtered out nonsense about the Fraternity you worked for and your MIA father. Frankly, you didn't care about your dad's whereabouts, you'd gotten over that years ago in therapy, but the fact that your target knew of your father's gambling and his drinking, and his abusive nature when he was around, struck a nerve. Other than talking about your sometimes dad, your target also spoke of your beloved Fraternity friends. You, honestly, would have been offended for them if not for the way that things panned out.

"You think they're all good? You think they're all clear skies and glitter?" Your target fell on his back as you kicked him in his chest in the dark alleyway. The way he was gasping for air told you you were doing a pretty good job in defeating him. 

"No, I don't, but it's the result that we put our faith in and not the work itself." Natasha stood proudly behind you with her arms crossed over her chest, the smirk she wore shining with success in bending your morals to be more aligned with them. "Of course, there's always something bad in the things we do, but by taking those people out, we might be saving millions of other people."

You held your target down by his throat, cutting his breath off to the point of death before he tried to speak up again. You meant to taunt him, but his next stuttered words tickled your malleable heart. "...they lied to you. They were the ones- *cough* who had your father...killed."

Your grip loosened at the last second- or so you thought because the second you let go, your target's eyes made its final close. You slowly blinked, your thought process going a mile per minute. Little bits of information and your own opinions tossed themselves around in your head effectively sending you into overdrive. This was it, Natasha thought, the Fraternity's downfall. You were their best asset and their worst enemy, even she could admit that, and now was the time she finally completed her mission. 

Natasha aimed her gun at you, seemingly unbothered. The love she held for you, the love she put aside, the love she wished she could express was raging inside her beating heart. Tears threatened her stoic eyes at the thought of having to be the one to kill you. You were her one true love, you both knew it and now she had to be the one to kill you. It was her mission. You were her mission. She had to complete her mission. 

In some twisted way, she did. Natasha completed you wholly. When you were with her, everything felt right. It was like the world was suddenly a paradise where problems did not exist. With her, the world was a place where nobody knew what the word trouble meant. Natasha made you want to express your love for her, by way of holding her hand, kissing her cheek and her forehead, dancing in the rain with her, crying with her, hugging her, and doing everything good with her. You wanted to take her out on a date in the park, painting each other's portrait or the starry sky, in the fair where you would win her the biggest teddy bear, in a museum where you would only look at her because her beauty topped those of the ones hanging on the walls. 

But that could never happen, right? It was only in your wildest dreams. It could never happen in real life. This world was not a place where your 'I love you's' were said aloud. This was merely a world where it was observed from afar how you cared for each other. This was only a world where stolen glances and stolen kisses were thrown around, hopeless pining was the only way to go, a world where longing eyes met eyes of sorrow and pain. It could never happen, not with the way the two of you were brought into this world. Maypahs if everything happened differently, if the two of you met under different circumstances, it could have happened. 

"Is it true?" 

"Yes."

****

Natasha staggered her way through the Fraternity's gates, clutching at her bag of items limply as she focused on her goal. She wore a solemn look on her face, a look that matched her dirtied clothing, dust and splatters of blood decorating her otherwise white tank top. "We trained her well." Muttered the woman in question as she passed her boss. 

In the bath, Natasha wallowed in her own sorrows, the loud silence enveloping her whole while she soaked in the cold water. In the end, she couldn't do it, not to you. She loves you too much to lose you to her own hands. If it were any other person, she would probably be fine, but this was you we were talking about. You were the person she would love, and no hands will ever be able to hold her down. You were the kind of person she would risk her work for, her life, and her achievements, and that was when she realized.

Natasha loved you too much to kill you. It was like gravity was working in your favor to make her fall in love with you every time she looked at you. Natasha loved the look in your eyes when you finally learned how to curve your bullets. Natasha loved the way your eyes shined when she first held your hand in that crowd when the two of you went undercover. The two of you were partners in crime, and the two of you secretly wished to be partners in real life. So she spared you because she knew that she would never be able to kill you.

----

Your next goal now that everything was out was to go on a rampage. You'd gotten a list a few missions back where one name was particularly questionable. You asked your boss about it, but all he offered was a "Go finish your mission." So you did, but you chose not to kill the one person on the list. You could not kill Natasha Romanoff, not even if you were fully capable of defeating her. 

You loved her too much to kill her. It was almost like love at first sight, how you fell in love with her. Your heart just felt like it skipped a beat and even you could feel the way your eyes dilated fully. She became your everything so quickly that you experience whiplash, but if you were being honest, you would go through it all again if it meant you get to be with Natasha. In the little time you spent with her after missions and the stolen glances you sent her, you fell in love.

You fell in love with how she carried herself with so much confidence. You fell in love with the sparkle in her eye and the way she looked at you like you were the only two people in the world. You love her in soft looks and cuddles, you loved her in ways that only meant the gentlest of love. You loved Natasha in tight hugs and kisses that made you want to do a cartwheel. You love her so much that you spared her of the fate the Fraternity gave her. You loved her too much to lose her to your own hands. 

****

Your plan was set into motion and the Fraternity members' fate was coming to fruition. You got through the building, going higher each time you completed a floor. You shot through men and women alike, these were the people you used to call your friends, family even, but now it was like a switch went off, you didn't know them anymore. You made a war cry through the pain of losing your friends to your own hands, having lost all sense of sensitivity to their pain. 

You don't care, you couldn't care. You haven't cared since the moment you found out it was them who had your father killed through you. You hadn't cared even when you were coming up with this plan to kill all of them and escape with the love of your life so that you could live what could be and what should be between you and her. Your plan was well-thought-out, you were certain nothing could get in the way of its impending success. But with how things are going down right now, you, surrounded by all of the highest ranking assassins you worked with and called your family, on the top floor of the Fraternity. 

Natasha was among the circle, one of the friends pointing their gun at you. She was using your favorite gun of hers too, an M16. She always looked so hot using the gun. And right now, she looked especially hot with that black tank top paired with army green cargo pants - the two of you bought together after one of your missions - and the brown holster around her small waist, the waist you so desperately wanted to wrap your strong arms around. 

"You are all each other's mission. Wanda, and Bruce are spared and recruited by Tony, Natasha, spared and recruited by Clint, Sam, and Bucky, spared by Steve, and Yelena, was spared by Kate. Now, you were spared by Natasha. All of you are supposed to be dead if not for me! If I had not started this Fraternity and made a place where all of you could be protected, you would all be dead!"

The lot of you remained silent as the man you surprisingly saw as a father preached about how he was the all-mighty one for saving all of you and giving you a home. I mean, yes he did do all of that, but was it really necessary to use all of you for reasons such as 'he saved you'? The answer was a hell no.

"Well, now since you're all grown-ups, I'll let you go and let you decide for your own fate." None of them, in the circle, stood down, holding their positions while contemplating how they were going to decide between killing the newest, best, and brightest and sparing you like they did each other. Apparently, none of them had to decide because Natasha beat them all to it. None of them deserve the life they were born with, trauma-filled childhoods, and painful coming-up stories. Everyone in this room deserved something better, something greater. 

As Natasha swung her arm back and shot a curved bullet, she smiled at you. The few memories the two of you created together swam her head like a slowed-down timelapse. The man beside her went down first, and then the next one, then next, and the next. While her bullet was curving in a circle, Natasha tossed her gun to you, and you caught albeit fumbling before it settled perfectly in your hands, and you thought all would be well. 

As the Fraternity members realized their fate, they stayed put in their spots, concluding that the life they had led was the best life they had ever had. They were thankful for all of their flaws and perfections, they were thankful for all of the decisions they've made leading up to this. Natasha thought of you, only you. Natasha thought about the drive she spent going to your workplace, she thought about the months she spent convincing you and training you to be the best you could be in the Fraternity. Natasha thought about all of the sunsets she watched with you sitting atop moving trains. Natasha thought about what could have been, the life she could have lead with you. 

As the last man fell, you held Natasha's gun in your hands and aimed at the oncoming bullet only to watch as the aforementioned bullet lodged itself into the love of your life. You wailed as you saw your mission fail. No longer could you run away with Natasha because now you ran to her limp and bleeding body. You held the love of your life in your arms, offering her your warmth and showing her the love you kept hidden from her for so long. You held her head against your chest, letting her listen to your heartbeat while your thoughts ran wild with the thought of what could have been with her. The love you held for each other died out with her and you sobbed, wailed, and cursed the land you lived upon. 

With no emotions left in your heart and a stoic face, you marched down to where your boss was, blinded by the rage and the pain you felt for losing your lover. With no more thought, you shot him, right in his shiny, half-bald head and watched him fall to the ground with a thud. You felt no remorse as you left the building, ready to live your life with incurable pain and guilt.

Your days passed knowing you could have saved her had you been quicker. 

In pain, you were born, and in pain, you died, next to your lover's grave two weeks later. "I love you." You muttered as your last dying breath devoted itself to Natasha Romanoff, the love of your disgusting life. 

[just-a-space-rabbit]

Flufftober 2024 Day: 25 Holding Hands

Flufftober 2024: Prompt List by @thepenultimateword TW: Explosion, Panic Mood: Light

Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I win, again!” Hero cheered, making a little victory dance.

Villain looked shocked at the final score. “How do you keep doing that?” With this victory Hero was leading at the competition 14 to 3. ‘At least Hero seems to be more relaxed now’ they thought.

Hero picked up their price before smirking “that's just what happens when you're the middle child of five siblings. Plus having twenty cousins all of whom are equally competitive.” 

Villain chuckled finally seeing the personality of the crime fighter they got to know so well over the last few years finally shine through to their civilian identity. But it was quickly becoming a problem as Hero’s playfulness made hiding their blushing REALLY HARD. 

“Also” Hero added as they began to walk to the next game. “If you lose the next game there is no way for you to catch up.” 

The two began walking to the next game, sawing in between people. Constantly weaving in and out, the crowd both isolates them and brings them closer. 

Villain’s heart makes a jump when Hero graze their fingers against Villain’s hand, before another passing person makes them sway away again. They wished that they could hold Hero’s hand for longer, to not worry about anyone seeing them. But for now, the small gentle touch was enough.

“Hu, I think you might win this next one” Hero joked as the two of them arrived at the throwing darts minigame.

“What?” Villain said in a joking tone, “haven’t you played darts before?” they continued knowing full well that Hero was talking about their metal manipulation powers.

They stumbled a bit to the side Hero gave them a light elbow shove as Villain chuckled, before they both picked up the darts. Villain went first but as they lined up their shot, they were all distracted as the sound of a shock wave could be heard all over the festival. 

Hero wiped around looking for the source of the commotion as people began screaming and panicking.

“Hero?” Villain asked, seeing Hero’s hand shaking. “Are you alright?”

“I… I need to-” Hero stuttered trying to find a way to get to find a place to hide in the crowds of people “I need to help, I can’t help find a place where no one can see me-”  

“Hey, don’t panic, ok?” Villain said softly, taking Hero’s hand and leading them further away from the street. Into a small corner. “You got your supersuit on underneath, right?” Hero nodded, holding on tighter to Villain’s hand, both of them feeling soft and warm even in this moment of fear. “Ok, good. Now, here is the plan, I got a small smoke bomb in my pocket. Once it’s sett off you run to the commotion, meanwhile I’ll get everyone else out of here.”

“okay” Hero awanserd.

… … … … …

Day 24 -♥- Day 26

[tyrantisterror]

Wizard School Mysteries Book 3 Soundtrack

It's that time again! Another book published, another official unofficial soundtrack I made to listen to while working on it and am sharing for your listening pleasure. I know last time I waited until the first two Wizard School Mysteries books were both published to do a combined "Freshmen Year" soundtrack, but I'm not repeating that now for two reasons: first, the only reason I did that in the first place is because I had forgotten to post the book 1 soundtrack and didn't want it to get lost in the shuffle when I went to post book 2's, and secondly, there's a good chance I might work on Maude and Mordi and/or Dark Chivalry before publishing Book 4, and that would make for a very long wait, which would be a shame because after a year and a half of listening to it on and off I can confirm that this WSM soundtrack is a fucking banger.

There's the playlist for your listening pleasure, and after the cut I'll list the tracks and what they correspond to in the book! WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Chapter 1: How the Youths spent their Summer Vacation - Vacation by Vitamin C. We start the book with a mostly low-stakes chapter about our young adult heroes returning home (well, for about half of them anyway) after their first semester at college to enjoy summer vacation, and so out songtrack starts out with a peppy, fun song about vacation whose tonal dissonance with the rest of the soundtrack feels very appropriate to me.

Chapter 2: A Haunted Start - Season of the Witch by Lana Del Ray. As we get into the story proper and see things develop, we set the actual tone of the book with an appropriately spooky song about witches.

Chapter 3: Spirit Glue - The Vampire's Ghost by Jimmy Bower. I found this song on a big ol' set of Halloween soundtracks called Kandy Coated Kackles, and it inspired/named the character of May Shade well before Wizard School Mysteries was even a sparkle in my eye, so it felt kind of like a given to tie it to the chapter that introduces us to May proper.

Chapter 4: Resident Assistance - Float On by Modest Mouse. One of the great songs of my teenage years, I felt Float On was a good pick for Ladislava's character theme, being a list of anxieties followed promptly by how each one fizzled out and became manageable with just a short amount of time. Lad's arc in the books is focused on finding a way to relax and take things as they come which, in my experience, is one of the more valuable lessons to learn in your college years.

Chapter 5: Freyasday the 13th - Black by Toby Fox. Ok, I guess... I guess I have to explain a bit of Homestuck to you all now. So, right, Homestuck begins as this goofy adventure where teenagers play a video game that alters their own reality, first by adding monsters, and eventually giant meteors that threaten to destroy the world. Every now and then it cuts to one of those monsters, a living chess piece named Jack Noir, and his frustrations with the leadership of the monster army. Then, in one of the big moments of the story, Jack Noir kills the queen of the army, steals her empowering ring, and becomes a terrifying threat that alters the course of the story so severely that it changes from "goofy comedic adventure" to "adventure with now very real and terrifying stakes for our heroes despite the goofy elements still being present." It's the entrance of what TV Tropes would call a "Knight of Cerberus," a character who raises the stakes so quickly that the tone abruptly shifts to be noticeably darker than before. Or, in short, a perfect theme for when Buddy finally runs into the Meddlesome Youths.

Chapter 6: The False Necromancer - Witchcraft by Frank Sinatra. This is less a theme for chapter 6 specifically and more for the book as a whole - it's where I got the book's title, "Wicked Witchcraft," from after all. But it also provides a nice break in the tension that's been building in the soundtrack, the way this chapter provides a brief break from the drama that's been building since the end of chapter 1. Plus I have to save the Lord Dhenregirr themes for Book 4.

Chapter 7: Finding Acheron - Soldier At War from Anna and the Apocalypse. Surprise, it's a Polybeus theme! This was the first song I chose for him back in the early pre-writing days of WSM, and it became so ingrained in my mind that I ended up planning a setpiece where he fights zombies in tribute to it. It's a fitting song, though - the character of Nick Saint in Anna and the Apocalypse enters the story seeming like a fairly one-dimensional cocky braggart, singing a song about how he's an uber-masculine badass who will save the day. But as the movie goes along, he reveals he's actually got a pretty good head on his shoulders and more heart than he'd admit, to the point where his reprise of the song - which occurs during a genuinely heroic sacrifice - has you hear lyrics that you thought were ironic and realize they were, in fact, genuine. That was all stuff I was planning for Polybeus's arc at the time I was putting together it together, and it stayed in the plan for him as the books so far have shown, so it's a really good fit for him even without the zombie fighting scene.

here's a weird break tumblr forced me to add for some reason

Chapter 8: Slashing Stones - Hellbent by Mystery Skulls. This song is specifically for the Buddy chase at the end of our chapter, as well as the slasher vs. gargoyle fight it explodes into. One of the reasons I assemble these soundtracks is to help me get a flow in mind for writing important action scenes, and I think this sets the tense and chaotic tone of Buddy's invasion of the AAAM really well.

Chapter 9: Remedial Demonology - Paint It Black by Versaemerge. It's a Gretchen theme, to no one's surprise since this is the Gretchen book! Well, perhaps there's a surprise that it took us nine chapters to get to a Gretchen-specific theme given the book's plot, but this is where it fit soundtrack-wise, and I do think this is kind of a crucial chapter for Gretchen's character development. Like Polybeus's theme two chapters up, I picked this song for Gretchen early in the planning stages of the series as a whole, before I even had the specific books figured out. Well, ok, tell a lie - I picked out the Rolling Stones version initially, but it didn't sit right with me to have a song with male vocals being used for a trans woman character, so I spent... a long time looking for covers of the song that 1. had a lady vocalist and 2. kept the elements of "Paint It Black" that I like, namely its almost hypnotic rhythm. There are some songs that feel like whirlpools to me - they sweep you up at the start and spin you faster and faster around as they get more and more intense, until you finally crash into the center at the end of it. "Paint It Black" is one of those songs, and while I listened to many interesting covers of it by lady musicians, this cover by Versaemerge is the only one that kept that whirlpool quality of the Stones's original take. And that's important to Gretchen's arc in this book particularly - she is a person with a pessimistic worldview, one who sees bright colors and can't help but paint them black, and in this story she's slowly sucked down into despair thinking she can never escape thinking that way. Book 3 is about saving Gretchen from that spiral, to get her to finally see the colors all around her.

Chapter 10: The Boy Behind the Mask - Baby Boy by Worthikids. Ironically, despite this chapter being a riff on the song Alex Cooper wrote for Jason Voorhees, I chose a different Friday the 13th inspired song to represent it on the soundtrack. Baby Boy is sung from the perspective of Pamela Voorhees, Jason's mother, and highlights the tragedy at the core of the series that's kind of overlooked by the movies themselves - namely that Jason was a child who drowned because of negligent child care workers, and that all the murders that spiral out of that negligence come from a place of grief and, weirdly, love. Which is, ultimately, what this chapter explores through Buddy - a very similar character to Jason that's being explored in a story that, unlike the Friday the 13th movies, can actually step back and explore the tragedy at the core of him. He's a child who's suffered a great deal of cruelty and neglect, and beneath the horrors he's committed there's grief, love, and trauma that needs to be dealt with.

Chapter 11: All Hallowed Eve - The Guide to Success by Joe Iconis. This song is for the coven and their benefactor, Shax, as the collective antagonist of the book - a song that demands a young worker server all social ties and devote themselves solely to advancing in the workplace by kissing the asses of their superiors and throwing away any notions of compassion and morality. A song about selling your soul on behalf of a company that doesn't give two shits about you, basically, i.e. a perfect summation of the villains' philosophy in this book.

Chapter 12: The Land of the Dead - Land of the Dead by Voltaire. I think it's pretty self explanatory how a song called "Land of the Dead" fits a chapter called "The Land of the Dead" that's about people exploring the land of the dead.

Chapter 13: The Devil and Gretchen Pappenheimer - Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance. In the early planning phases of this series, I knew I wanted Gretchen to have a Faust arc, and that I wanted it to resolve with a Devil and Daniel Webster style afterlife trial scene, and the rest of this book's plot all kind of fell in place in service of reaching that moment. So it's kind of funny to me that I had trouble finding a song that did the scene justice - one of my first attempts was "The Trial" by Pink Floyd, but it didn't feel quite right. I finally found what I was looking for during a different but related WSM soundtrack task - I was looking at songs from my college and high school years to add to the developing series soundtrack, and revisited the entirety of MCR's The Black Parade. That album was so important to me in college, and the ending of it, "Famous Last Words," is this beautiful finale where the protagonist of the album decides whether or not to keep on living or give in and die. Which, again, is kind of what Gretchen's story about - will she succumb to her own low view of herself, or will she realize there are people who love her and that she has a reason to fight for her right to exist? The increasingly passionate chorus of "I am not afraid to keep on living/I am not afraid to walk this world alone" "Honey if you stay you'll be forgiven" "Nothing you can say can stop me going home" fits this chapter so well, and I like to think of the two verses - nearly identical but different in slight ways - are sort of figurative Shax and Helseng using the same facts about Gretchen to argue different perspectives on her morality, while the build in the second half of the song - "I see you lying next to me/with words I thought I'd never speak/awake and unafraid/asleep or dead" - as the part of the chapter where Stinkbaby and Buddy provide the crucial soul-saving testimony on Gretchen's behalf. Man that's entirely too many thoughts on this, let's move on.

Chapter 14: Doom Defied - Death Is Not the End by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. I view this as a joint theme for both Gretchen and, oddly enough, Helseng, who doesn't appear in this chapter but was crucial for it being as happy as it is. In Gretchen's case, it shows the progress her arc has made since it began in the first book by being an inversion of her first theme, "Paint It Black." While "Paint it Black" is about feeling sorrow and grief even when surrounded by happiness and joy, "Death Is Not the End" is about finding hope and optimism even when facing a worse case scenario. Gretchen is no longer a person who assumes the worst about herself and how others view her, because she's face the worst fate she could imagine, and not only did her friends stick up for her, but Death herself argued that Gretchen deserved another chance. As for Helseng, well, "Death is not the end" is very much the message of the Death Arcana she represents, and the mechanical reality of what death is in the world of this story - and, by proxy, what her role is as a grim reaper. She is not the end of people, but the one who brings them to the next step of their journey, and a guide who loves her charges even as they face dire peril.

[countrymusiclover]

17 - Not His First Witch Lover

Princess Red Thief

Part 18

Tag list - just ask to be added @mystrey101 @melvia-ito @kmc1989 @tallrock35

Sliding into the booth on the opposite side of Rumple we had each of our children seated on either side with us.  Granny brought over two burgers and fries for us where I cut mine in half taking a big bite out of it.  “What - what are you doing?” 

“Sssh just watch.” He slowly raised his fingers in front of Robin’s face who lights up when he sees some of the French fries begin to fly up in the air. 

Valerie giggles, clapping her hand at the sight, making me smile brightly at her innocence. “Looks like our kiddos are in awe of magic just like I was when we first met.” 

“Yes, especially if I do this.” Rumple used magic, raising a fry in the air where I held my mouth and he flew the fry into my mouth laughing at me. “Eve, you are so adorable.” 

I used my own magic, launching one of my fries into his mouth and he smirked back at me. “You’re not the only magician around here.” 

The diner door opened and Regina strides up to our booth. “Gold. We need to talk.”

“Do we?” He mumbled under his breath. 

Granny sees the incoming altercation and intervenes. “Folks, I think I may need to close early. Uh, everybody out.”

“No. It’s okay. We’re civil.” Regina raised a hand in surrender. 

He shakes his head in annoyance. “Yeah, for now.  Everly, I assume you remember the woman whose curse nearly killed you when giving birth to our little babies.” 

“This is probably bad.  I should drop the kids off at their grandparents anyhow-“ I started to pick up Valerie in my arms getting ready to go until he tapped his fingers on the table. 

“No, no. Please, stay where you are. Whatever she has to say, won’t be a secret from you. Whatever she wants, she won’t get.”

“I’m actually coming about the one thing that might unite us.” Regina leans closer to his ear. 

He finally looked her in the eye. “And what on earth can that be?”

“Cora. She’s coming from our land. I need your help to stop her.”

He muttered under her breath avoiding my gaze. “But she was dead. You told me you saw the body.”

“Who’s Cora?” I questioned him not remembering every single person he had ever made deals with in the centuries he’s been alive. 

Rumple reached across the table once I had set Valerie back down by my side and he intertwined my hand in his own. “She’s her mother and my former lover.  I also taught her magic for a time.” 

“So we might be screwed.” 

He could sense my nerves squeezing my hand, sending me a brave face. “Don’t worry, princess.  I won’t let her ever come near you or our children.  You have my word.” 

“Apparently, you taught her well. She’s not, and she’s on her way. And I don’t think I need to remind you, how most unpleasant that would be for both of us.” She whispered to the Dark One. 

“For you. I can handle Cora.” He spoke towards the Evil Queen. 

Regina responds. “That’s not how she tells the story.”

He growled under his breath. “I won in the end.”

 “Maybe. But there’s a big difference this time. This time, you have someone you care about. This time, you have a weakness.” Regina shifted her gaze towards me and then between our two children. “You have three weaknesses actually.” 

The three of us headed to his shop after dropping the kids off with my parents.  Charming was waiting with Henry who was laying down on the cot in the back room. “So, Cora… She’s pretty powerful?” Henry asked, laying his blanket over his stomach. 

“Yes, but, uh, not as powerful as I am.” Rumple placed his hands on his cane. 

Regina scoffs. “Debatable.”

“Actually, no, it’s not.” Rumple scoffs back at her. 

Laying my head on his shoulder I reminded the queen of who she was talking to. “He’s literally called the Dark One in case you’ve forgotten.” She sent me a glare before Charming went to sit at the kids bedside. 

“You sure you’re okay to do this, kid?”

Henry nodded his head yes. “I was born to do this. I’m done reading about heroes. I want to be one.”

“Well, sometimes being one is knowing when not to run into the fire.” The prince reminds him. 

Henry kept a brave face. “I’ll be okay.”

“Look, whatever he faces in there, will be far less dangerous than what he’ll face if we fail.” Rumple told the Prince before him. 

Sparing him a terrified expression across my face I shivered at his words. “What exactly could stop this woman from killing me if she makes it to Storybrooke?” 

Henry attempted to reassure me. “I can do this,  Eve.”

“Get on with it. Fast.” Charming moved for Rumple to sit down. 

“Alright, Henry. Just relax. And soon, you’re going to drift off.”

Henry asks him.  “What do I tell them?”

 “Just listen to my bedtime story, and all will be clear.” My lover sits next to Henry’s bed and places his hand on Henry’s forehead. “Once upon a time, Snow White and Prince Charming needed to stun a very powerful magician, long enough to lock him up in a dark dungeon.” 

Henry sleepily mumbled. “That was you. They used Cinderella to trap you with a magic quill.”

Rumple moves his hand across Henry’s face, causing him to fall asleep. “Yes, indeed a quill. And yet, it wasn’t the quill itself, but the ink that captured the Dark One – harvested from the rarest species of squid, from the bottom of a bottomless ocean. Impossible to find, unless, you’re a mermaid… Or me. I happen to have a private supply. In my jail cell… That is where they will find it.”

“Come back safe, kid.” I whispered under my breath so concerned for Henry Mills. 

It was a few minutes before he shot awake and grabbed his arm where we saw deep marks that Rumple had to heal. Regina sat at his bedside eyeing his injured arm. “What caused this?”

“When you venture deeper into the Netherworld instead of away, there are risks. Someone woke Aurora before her soul was ready to return. The v*olence of that act tore her away and injured Henry. We’re lucky it wasn’t worse. He’s going to need some time to recover before he can be sent back.” Rumple explained, glancing at me briefly seeing the color on my face disappearing at the very thought of sending him back. 

“Out of the question.” Regina snapped. 

“Not a chance in hell. We’d be monsters to even consider risking his life again.” The prince actually agreed with the former evil queen. 

Rumple raised an index in a warning manner. “Careful with your tone, Charming. I understand your concern for the boy, but I know Cora. Without our help, Snow and Emma will soon be dead. And then… A true monster will be on her way to Storybrooke.” 

Regina ran a hand down her face. “ Aurora is gone. Why do we need to send Henry back to that fiery inferno with no one there to receive our message?”

“Because someone will be there.” Charming said with a hopeful tone. 

Regina made a face. “Who?”

“Snow.” He responded. 

Clasping my hand through Rumple’s hand smiling in the direction of the former prince. “True love must conquer all.” 

[holidaywishes]

Embers XVIII

Part Eighteen: The Next Chapter

  Summary of series: Katie moves from Peachtree, Georgia, to L.A. with her son, Alex to start fresh after the death of her husband. When she meets Evan Buckley, a young firefighter, she falls fast but will her son be so quick to accept Evan into his life?

  Summary of chapter: After a year with Evan, things seem to get more serious. Everyone loves a happy ending right?

  Warning: mostly fluff but there’s probably gonna be some angst in there as well

  Author’s Note: Can I just say that I love finishing up series? Don’t get me wrong, having something that I can keep adding to is great -- especially when it’s received well -- but sometimes these series just sit in my drafts for years before I touch them again so looking at them just makes me want to procrastinate more. So when I get to finish up a series, it’s super satisfying; like checking off everything on your to-do list or getting into a freshly made bed. Anyway, this one might be a little long but only because I was steadfast in ending this series at 118 (1 series, 18 chapters lol) so thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it, even just a little. Stay Golden, loves! <3!

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

Katie’s P.O.V

  After your talk with Bobby, you felt more at ease and things with Evan felt stronger than they’d been in a really long time. Which still made you feel like something was going to get pulled out from under you, it always did, but he’d say things like you were safe with him and that he’d always look after you and you always believed him; because he could always do that. It was like his superpower.

  “What if I told you that I wanted to be Alex’s dad?” Evan asked one Saturday morning while the two of you lay in bed before starting the day

  “Well... you’re not?” you said, confused, before propping yourself up on your forearm to look at him, “I mean you do know that right?”

  “I don’t mean I want to like.. go back in time and become his actual father,” he scoffed and you tucked yourself back into his side, “I want to adopt him”

  “Whoa” you replied, sitting up suddenly, in shock at how easily he said the words

  “What?” you felt him pop up from where he was laying

  “Evan…” you scoffed in return, your back still facing him as you searched for the words, “adopting a kid, any kid, is not just something you decide to do. I know that you and Alex have grown to really like each other—”

  “We love each other” he clarified, finally getting you to turn around to scoff at him

  “His dad was this… hero to him and now you’re a…” you hesitated, gesturing vaguely with your hands, “like a real life hero that he sees do courageous and brave things and that’s amazing. It lets him be brave in his own life but it’s dangerous”

  “Him being brave?”

  “Why do you want to adopt him? Now?” you asked, fully turning your body to him now, “we haven’t been dating that long, so why not wait? We’re not married, we don’t live together, why adopt him? Why go through that process?”

  “Because I love the kid”

  “Do you think I’m not enough for him?” you argued, “that he needs two parents to live a normal life?”

  “Whoa whoa…” he replied, pushing the duvet away from him to move closer to you, “you know that’s not what I’m saying. Hey, I had two parents who barely paid me any attention, so he’s already… I think you’re doing amazing”

  “So why now?” you repeated

  “After everything we’ve been through, I think it’s time we take that next step”

  “The next step would be moving in together,” you scoffed, “or giving each other a drawer at the others place, not straight into adoption”

  “Well, I mean…” he started and you raised your eyebrows, “we already kinda did that…”

  “No,” you said, standing up and raising your hands in defence, “we absolutely did not. I think I’d know if we moved in or gave each other a drawer… it would be hard to miss”

  “How much time have you spent at your place, with or without Alex, in the last like four months? Six months?” You spent about 2 minutes looking at him in disbelief before going back over the months in your head and contemplating your answer

  “I mean… about as much time as here”

  “Right..” he replied

  “That’s not the same thing. We never moved in together. It’s just the situation…” you explained, “your shifts are so all over the place that sometimes I don’t see you if I’m not here. So it’s just simpler”

  “Sure yeah,” he smirked, “of course”

  “Evan…”

  “Katie”

  “Even if it’s true that we have moved in together, without me realizing, Alex hasn’t,” you tried, “his stuff isn’t here. He hasn’t slept here as much as I have and, guess what, adopting him means that he’s around 24/7”

  “Nice try,” he smirked again, walking over to you before his arms reached around your waist, “I believe in this”

  “Believe in what exactly? Adopting him?”

  “Yeah,” he smiled, “and us”

  “That’s cute,” you scoffed playfully, “and that’s great. I believe in us too. But just because you want to adopt Alex, doesn’t mean he wants you to adopt him and none of it is going to be easy”

  “Who cares about easy” he teased

  “I do,” you added, “I really don’t like mess or complications…”

  “Then I’ll make it as simple as possible,” he smiled before leaning down to kiss you softly, “for you.” Your mind wandered into the softness of his kiss and the way his hands squeezed your hips that the topic of him adopting your son was nowhere near a priority. Though, you couldn’t really imagine it. Evan Buckley, a dad. An uncle? Yeah sure. He already was one. A pseudo-godparent? Yeah, okay. But a father? Even an adoptive father? No. It was a lot of responsibility and you weren’t sure that he could juggle work and being a dad, without always being the life-size, real-life action hero that Alex had come to love. All of these concerns made you think that there was something he wasn’t telling you and it made you nervous.

  “You’d tell me if Evan was planning something right?” you asked Hen, Karen and Eddie when the four of you got together on the weekend to take the kids to the park

  “Sure…” Hen hesitated before scoffing in confusion

  “I’m serious,” you laughed, “like you’d tell me if he was gonna do something big that could change our relationship completely?”

  “What are you going on about?” Eddie added with a laugh

  “He wants to adopt Alex” you sighed

  “What?!” Hen and Eddie exclaimed together, Karen taking a back seat to their shock

  “I mean Buck’s great with the kids,” Eddie started, “but being a dad isn’t like being a babysitter”

  “That’s what I said” you replied

  “He must have been just talking figuratively…” Hen added and you shook your head

  “He seemed pretty serious about it…” you continued, noticing a shy look on Karen’s face as she looked away. She knew something…

  “Well what was the consensus?” Hen asked

  “Uncertain,” you said distractedly, “alright what do you know?” You asked Karen, grabbing her attention back to the group

  “Huh?” she said, glancing at the three of you, and you raised your eyebrows as if to say ‘well…’

  “I don’t know what you mean…” she said, fidgeting with her earring, something that clearly meant something to Hen

  “Yes you do!” she scoffed happily, knowing her wife’s tells too clearly now, “what’s going on Karen?”

  “Okay fine!” Karen sighed in defeat, “Buck wants to propose”

  “Whoa” Hen and Eddie chuckled before you let your mind filter through your mouth

  “I’m sorry what?” you scoffed, “propose to me? Propose marriage? Not now though but like… just eventually?”

  “No like now,” Karen admitted, “he said he was gonna give you a key and the two of you were gonna officially be living together. Then he’d wait like a week and he would propose”

  “He’s insane,” you laughed uncomfortably, “he’s insane. That’s the only explanation for why he’s thinking these things — he’s lost his mind. Again”

  “Maybe he hasn’t” Eddie countered

  “What?!” You exclaimed

  “I think he’s thought it through,” he added, “as much as Buck thinks things through but come on. He loves Alex and he knows that the two of you are a package deal,” he laughed lightly

  “I mean if that’s the only reason, we have bigger problems than an early proposal” you quipped

  “You’re important to him,” Eddie clarified, “he loves you and I think if he’s talking about adopting Alex, then he’s serious about a future with you. The question is… do you see a future with him?”

  “Of course I do,” you started, “I mean I think I do but adoption is serious, marriage is serious…”

  “Maybe he’s testing the waters by asking you about adopting Alex?” Karen suggested

  “You just said he wants to propose” Hen chuckled

  “He does,” she admitted, “but he knows that you and Alex have been through a lot, so no matter what he said to me, even if that’s what he wants, he’s not going to rush you into anything. So, maybe this is him being more mature than we realized - all I’m saying is it seems like he’s thinking it through, not rushing into it because he feels like it’s the right time for him.” You took in what she was saying, at least he was being thoughtful but you couldn’t help but think it was still too soon; you already got married once too young and that didn’t work out as well as you hoped.

  “I think you just need to talk to him, Katie,” Hen said, bringing you back to reality, “I’m sure things will be more clear after you do.” You sighed as you nodded in agreement. Th next day, you walked in on Buck sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine, only to toss it aside when he saw you

  “Hey!” he exclaimed

  “Hey,” you said hesitantly, watching as he tucked the magazine under his leg, “whatcha doing?”

  “Nothin’,” he smiled, “just hangin’ out”

  “Can I talk to you?”

  “Sure, is everything okay?” he asked, his face showing his concern and confusion

  “Yeah, everything is fine,” you replied, sitting next to him on the couch, “I just think we should talk… about you wanting to adopt Alex”

  “Oh,” he replied, a smile on his face that quickly faded when he saw the concern on your face, “oh”

  “I think it's great,” you started, “that you love him so much. I love that you care about him but I want to make sure you're thinking about this clearly...” you admitted

  “Of course I am,” he replied, taking your hands softly in his, “I want to take care of him, keep him safe, both of you”

  “Yeah but Ev—” you tried but he interrupted

  “But I also want to share our lives together. Experience big moments and small moments,” his smile stretched ear to ear now, “make new memories. I'm not trying to replace anyone, or make him forget about his dad, I just want to be part of your lives...”

  “You are part of our lives,” you said, returning his smile and placing your hand on his cheek, “but adopting him means you're in it for the good and the bad. And sometimes it can feel like it's only bad. The older he gets, the more of a gremlin he's gonna be”

  “I'm ready for it”

  “Evan...” you took your hand off his cheek as you sighed

  “Katie...” he laughed lightly, taking your hands in his now and sitting on the couch in front of you, bringing you close to him

  “I'm serious”

  “So am I,” he insisted, “I love you.” You hesitated for a second because you knew you loved him but you knew that love can only go so far and you couldn't stop yourself from thinking that he didn't know what he was getting into

  “I love you, too,” you finally said, “and so does Alex, but it's a lot to handle”

  “I can handle it,” he sighed, rubbing his temple as he walked away, “I want us to handle it together. We'll support each other through it all”

  “I—”

  “I have never wanted to wake up next to someone more than I have wanted to wake up with you,” he interrupted again, “I have never felt more like home, more safe or more protective...” You felt your eyes widen as he walked back toward you, 'oh no,' you thought to yourself, 'it's happening.'

  “Evan” you tried but he wouldn't let you, he was on a roll

  “I've become a better version of myself and I want to continue growing with you and with Alex. I love you, Katie, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” He knelt down, opening a small box with a cushion cut ring inside and your mind almost went blank. You had to think about Alex, about what your life should be like for him, about what you wanted for your life and what you wanted it to look like, that you took a long time to answer but when you thought about it, really pictured it, you could imagine everything and you could see continuing a family with him. The love you had for him was so strong and you knew he would be an amazing addition to the little life you'd created

  “Yes,” you said quietly, the words escaping your lips while your face was still in shock, “of course I will” you repeated, the smile growing on your face with every breath you took. When he finally slid the ring on your finger, you squealed with excitement, “oh my god!”

  “This is the start of our lives, baby,” he said before kissing you, “get ready for it”

  “Don't mess it up, Buckley,” you joked, returning his kiss, “because I'm not messing around”

  “I wouldn't dream of it,” he laughed, “I love you”

  “I love you, too.”

xx

Evan's P.O.V

  You didn't know hearing one word could make you so ecstatic and yet, here you were, unable to stop smiling. You and Katie decided to sit down with Alex once you had both come down from your bubble of excitement

  “It'll be fine,” you assured her, rubbing her arms lightly to ease her nerves, “he's gonna be SOO happy”

  “I just don't want him to be caught off guard��� she said

  “That's why we're not just eloping and telling him to come with us” you joked

  “Maybe I should tell him on my own,” she hesitated, “ease him into it, you know?”

  “Katie, Katie,” you returned, making your voice as soothing as you could, “don't worry. We're in this together. However good or bad he reacts, we're in this together - all three of us.” You were nervous too, you couldn't lie. Sure, you'd bonded with Alex, and you could see everyone fitting into each other's lives effortlessly, but maybe Alex wanted you at arms length in case something went wrong. Maybe he didn't want a "new dad," maybe he didn't think of you as an authority figure - maybe Katie was right...

  “Of course,” she said as she took a deep breath and a smile appeared on her face, “I’m sorry. You have to understand, our world has been pretty small for a while now, just the two of us, so bringing you into it feels a little… unnatural”

  “I understand that,” you replied, holding her hands in yours, “but trust me, everything is going to be okay.” She nodded and leaned into your shoulder as you kissed her forehead. When you both picked up Alex from school, it was clear that he was a little confused

  “What's going on?” he asked, turning his head between the two of you as he waited on an answer

  “Evan was around and he offered to pick you up.. with me” Katie said, attempting a half truth

  “I missed you buddy,” you laughed, “and your mom and I have something we want to talk to you about”

  “Oh god, what does that mean?” Alex groaned

  “Well.. we can tell you now,” Katie said, “or we can wait until we get home. What would you prefer?”

  “Is it good or bad?" he asked

  “Good” you and Katie replied in unison

  “Then now!” you peaked in the rear view mirror to see Alex's grin lighting up his face

  “Okay, well..” Katie started, turning to face her son while you focused on the road ahead, “Evan proposed”

  “Proposed?” Alex asked, confused

  “I asked her to marry me” you replied through the rear view

  “And I said yes” Katie said with a smile, but Alex was slow to respond and you could see the concern taking over Katie's posture

  “So...” he hesitated, "what does that mean?"

  “Well, that means that the three of us are going to live together,” she explained, “and there will be a big party with all of our family there and Evan's family too,”

  “The 118 too” you added, for good measure of course

  “It means we'll be a family, sweetheart,” she held his hands and waited for another response

  “Okay...”

  “What's wrong, bud?”you asked

  “Nothing” he said quietly

  “Alex, sweetheart, you can tell us,” Katie soothed, “what's goin' on in that little brain of yours?”

  “What about dad?” he finally asked. You knew Katie's heart was probably breaking, it was the one question she didn't want to answer and it was the one question you didn't know how to answer. The car was silent for a few moments and just before you were about to say something, Katie finally spoke

  “Dad will always be with us. With you, with me, with Oma, with Gran and Gramps. He's part of us,” she said, “the love he had for you, for our family, will keep him part of us forever, the love you had for him means he'll always be here. Baby, we're not losing dad by welcoming Evan in, we're just adding a little bit more love to the family."

  “But...” Alex stammered, “dad.. left”

  “Oh sweetheart, no,” she continued before a small tear escaped the corner of her eye, “daddy would have stayed with you forever if he could. He loved you so so so so so so so much”

  “Buck loves you,” he countered, pointing at you briefly, “does that mean he could still leave?”

  “He could,” she said frankly, “but he won't. You're safe with us sweetheart, I hope you know that”

  “I know,” Alex replied softly, “I just thought daddy was safe with us too and then he was gone”

  “Daddy's work is what took him,” she said, “he was safe with us but he wanted to make sure we could be safe without him, that our country could be safe... Alex, he didn't mean to... he didn't want to be...”

  “He loved you very much, Alex,” you interjected when you noticed Katie's stuttering, “and I'm not trying to replace him or take over. I just want to take care of you and your mom the way he would've wanted - the way that he did.”

  “You're not gonna leave?” he asked grouchily

  “I'm not goin' anywhere kid” you smirked

  “Good,” he smirked right back and sat straight against the seat, “then I guess you can marry my mom.”

  “I love you, baby” Katie smiled

  “I love you, too, mama,” he returned, “I love you Evan.” Your heart felt so warm when he said it that you wanted to sit in the feeling for a second before you could respond. A small smile grew on your lips as you took Katie's left hand in your right, grazing her ring with your thumb and looking in the mirror at a now content Alex in the backseat

  “I love you, too, buddy.”