#I might actually continue on with this idk

[showerthoughtsofagoldengoose]

why Okarun is a real g

-he was bullied and had no friends and somehow came out of it without any exceptionally strong feelings of hatred or resentment towards his peers.

Trust me as someone who has been in that position (minus the bullying) it is SO easy to hate everyone. From what I’ve heard we learn very little abt this character’s life but I’d assume he might have at least had a good upbringing to turn out like this. I did not so that might be part of why I literally despised everyone and became a bit of a femcel for a while…

-polite, puts others first.

Legit who doesn’t like someone like that? I see no need to even elaborate on this point.

-he respects women’s boundaries.

It’s so common for boys in shounen to be creeps and so seeing a male shounen protagonist who actually is decent towards women is really refreshing! Especially one from a show whose premise revolves around him losing his dick and balls! (The only other shounen I really like is chainsaw man which takes an incredibly nuanced approach to a perverted male protagonist, and I wouldn’t really call Denji perverted as much as he is horny, desperate, and a typical teenaged boy. He reminds me a little of my boyfriend when he was younger lol)

unrelated but even tho the “scenes” of creepiness in the show are kind of unnecessary (I think they’re there so turbo granny can come in clutch and save Momo from whatever is happening to her, since turbo granny’s whole schtick/initial redeeming quality is protecting girls from those kinds of threats. That and the series is batshit insane and needs ridiculous ways to get from point a to point b. I still see why people don’t like these scenes tho) it is kinda interesting to me that the most pervy fuck it I’m gonna use the real word RAPEY literal attempted sexual assault moments in the show seem to be used to make us dislike a character and view them as fucked up. (Allegedly they stop being used which thank God but I digress I’ve been talking abt them too long lmao)

the good guys in the series are like, actually pretty innocent. Aira looks at her dad’s porn to figure out how romance works, Momo and Okarun have this incredibly sweet and innocent romance, and don’t make it weird or creepy when they see eachother in a vulnerable position, Jiji is just a very close childhood friend of momo’s and while he might like her he seems to be pretty respectful and again, innocent. Have yet to meet the rest of the cast but I do hope to see this pattern of innocence continue.

I might also be reading into it too much idk

[sailorscout93]

Scout watches Cynthia and Ariana’s Wicked commentary part 4! Starts right after Popular up until Elphie gets the letter from the Wizard. Warning, I go on tangents again in this one. I info dump one of my favorite shipping headcanons and I infodump about one of the 10 deleted scenes that we get 😂

1. I love that Cynthia requested the hairstyle for this part being “something that Galinda would’ve given Elphaba to do!” Such a cute little Easter egg!

2. “WOOWWWW okay Fiyero! You didn’t have to say it like that! I don’t like it.” 😂😂😂 Ari being Galinda again

3. “Do you want a lolly?” omg they would have snacks while doing this

3. I don’t know which of them said “He’s so good.” Talking about Johnny Bailey’s Fiyero in the forest scene but at first I heard “He’s so gay” and I was like “I mean… true, but odd thing to say?” Listen…. I have auditory processing issues because of my autism so it takes me a little longer to process what I’ve heard 😂

4. The way they both agree that Galinda is jealous that Elphie took Fiyero with to rescue the cub instead of her but it wouldn’t have even crossed Galinda’s mind that something could have happened between Elphaba and Fiyero at that moment. Galinda being Elphie’s jealous GF, not Fiyero’s confirmed!

5. And then Immediately confirmed that Elphie ALSO didn’t think of anything happening between her and Fiyero, but Fiyero might have….. Fiyero holds the brain cell of the poly Thropple also confirmed! (Yes I primarily ship Gelphie, but I do also ship the trio as a polycule) Specifically I ship it in the sense of Act II Glinda and Fiyero being in a ‘lavender marriage’ (where one or both partners in a straight appearing relationship is actually gay and the public “relationship” between them is a cover up for the gay person, usually for political/social reasons) but they both agree that they’re missing Elphaba. Fiyero eventually leaves to go find Elphie, brings her back through some means, they defeat the wizard and Morrible, the events of the Wizard of Oz never necessarily happen maybe? Idk. I’d have to write more details if I wanted to flesh it out. One thing leads to another (as it so often does) and they end up as a trio with Lesbian Glinda with her Elphie and in a QPR with Fiyero because he’s like her best friend but she doesn’t want him like that (maybe she’s also a little ace-spec? Am I projecting? Maybe!) and Elphie and Fiyero are also together. Okay moving on….. lol

6. I should’ve kept a tally of how many times Ariana fangirls over Cynthia’s singing 😂

7. OMG they’re mentioning the Elphaba’s Promise deleted scene and how they get why it was deleted. Okay I’m gonna go on a tangent of info dumping again lol so I saw an interview of Jon Chu where he explained WHY he ultimately chose not to put that scene in the final movie and as much as I WISH that scene was in the film, his reasoning makes sense. It gets the story a little ahead of itself and kinda gives continuity issues with Elphaba asking Glinda to come with her to the Emerald City if before they find out about her going to meet the Wizard she tells Glinda “I won’t leave you behind again.” Then it sets up this narrative that we would EXPECT Glinda to go to the Emerald City with her and it kinda jumbles up the “come with me!” At the train station. That’s why it was left out in the end.

8. Last one for now: The Easter egg of Elphie’s hair getting looser and less uptight over the course of the movie as she grows into who she is…. 😭 and then they fangirl over each other’s outfit again!

I’ll be back for part 5 soon! Idk if it’ll be the last one but we are within less than an hour left of the movie!!!

[michaelswilliam]

ok idk if this is me wishing it or it could count as st5 prediction/speculation but since we got that pic of will, mike, holly biking around and holly is like 90% confirmed to be the missing kid in S5EP2, imagine if storyline goes like this:

EP1 is when the "what painting?" conversation happens between mike and el

i don't think this is when they will break up, but mike discovering that all will said to him was not from el, would be the seed of him questioning the state of his relationship with el

S4 Mike still think that the most important thing in his life is being El's boyfriend, but him realizing that El might not love or need him in the way he thought she would would be the catalyst of him starting to accept that this relationship might not be something worth continuing

I don't think Mike has clocked Will's feelings towards him yet by the time he finds out the painting wasnt commissioned by El

Will comes out to his mother, mike, el, lucas and dustin

it will be heartwarming and sweet, el and joyce will immediately tell him that he's so brave, lucas and dustin will be shocked at first but they will quickly move past it and go in for the hug

mike, however, will stand, alone and frozen on his feet. i think this will definitely causes him to question his own feelings. realizing that homosexuality isnt something thats a taboo. that it is real and his best friend is gay. boys can be.

this is when his own internalized homophobia will surmount, when he will question his own sexuality, and it will scare and confuse him and he will remove himself from the premise. he needs to get away

everyone, especially will of course will take it as mike being homophobic and unaccepting

el might confront him, which can lead to another fight. adding further cracks to their relationship

will might try to talk to him, sad scene. will genuinely thinking it might be the end of their friendship

but mike will pivot the conversation, he will bring up the painting.

mike tells will that he is angry that he'd lied to him.

will apologizes, but mike is still irrationally angry

he accuses will of ruining his relationship w/ el. which got will confused bc didnt he help mike to say i love you to el?

(mike of course wont be able to rationalize this. inside he is angry because he realizes that this relationship shouldve died in the first place, and now he's at the point where he thinks he cannot break up with el. not after the confession.)

"it's not my fault that you don't love her the way you said you do!" will cries out, "i'm sorry for lying to you about the painting, alright? but you can't blame me for whatever is going on between you two."

"but do you?"

"what?"

"do you love me the way you said you did?"

"what do you mean-"

mike steps closer to him, "everything you told me about how el felt towards me, all of it was you, wasn't it?"

and because ST loves interruptions, this is when something or someone cut their conversation, leaving it hanging in the air. this is when everything related to will shifts for mike.

mike will start to clue in will's feelings for him and realizing that the idea of being loved romantically by him actually delights him.

mike will cope with his own sexuality and feelings for will vs relationship with el, he might out some distance against will and el as he does this.

will is heartbroken, he thinks their friendship is forever broken because will has ruined mike and el's relationship with his lie and will knows that mike probably knows his feelings for him and hates him even deeper because of it

this is when vecna comes in and fucks with will's head. starts to isolate him with his surroundings.

EP2: apocalyptic hawkins, everyone is assigned with something. someone from the adults assigned mike and will to do an errand while accompanying holly to go to a friend's house or a park or whatever.

will might try to protest, but holly insists for will to come bc she enjoys his company and mike reluctantly agrees

tense moments shared between byler with holly as the buffer

something happens to holly, she's taken. this will be the event that causes mike and will to stick together throughout the season, confronting each other and their feelings for each other.

YEAH SO IDK I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN IN ST5

[tapwater118]

bfdia 17 and tpot 15 spoilers

bfdia 17

needle’s votes were counted separately, which means pencil is out, which is sad but also funny because now she gets to host with the rest of the wtfers. oh yeah they get to host now! i love that, also balloony just warpdriving out killed me. loved the mini freesmart reunion

fries actually taking the immunity was also a welcome surprise, we didnt really need pin to get tortured more this late in the season. i also guess at this point there isnt really gonna be a merge so much as a bunch of singleton teams, buts thats fine imo. coinpin :)

loved all the little cameos in the mall, very fun. also leafy! didnt really have too much screen time but oughhh they were teasing her for so long i almost lost hope. so very close to the first ever bookleaf interaction

the main event of course is tennis ball and nickel’s excellent adventure. if i had a nickel for every time a random donut line from bfb was justified by bfdia i would have two nickels: past nickel and future nickel. its nickel’s fault gaty got eliminated btw he lured that bug up there. he also caused all of tpot 15 by kicking the yoylite into the future so THANKS BUDDY

overall very funny episode! as much as i hate to say it i think needle is going to go here, she was very close to elimination last time and she also didn’t really have much to do this time. nickel is also a solid possibility due to him destabilizing the fabric of spacetime, which sources tell me is not a very “cash money” thing to do

anyway time for The Horrors

tpot 15

nickel i am going to throttle you

i predicted basketball was gonna be out but it doesnt mean im happy about it. also tree staying in over robot flower was a shock, i thought people really liked her?? poor thang her self esteem is in the toilet now. at least they got to fly away on a dragon to get lesbian married together

i love love love how theyre using the rejects more its wonderful (the pda short was definitely a test to see if people would like the rejects as characters im sure of it). itrd trying to replace firey to make himself relevant inadvertently made relevant from people editing him over firey i love it

ive seen people say they dont like the time travel but me? im eating this up its so good, wonderfully silly depiction of the butterfly effect, its perfect for bfdi. the host continuously being changed was a wonderful bit, and host with a screen! there were so many callbacks for the bfdi geeks in the crowd (me), i hope they do more with the tfi style it is so nice to watch

PENCIL CRASH OUT ARC TO RING IN THE NEW YEAR HALLELUJAH thank you one for getting her on the show. actually this crash out and the resulting timeline devastation is the exact reason one rigged pencil to get it. poor pencil man she needs friends

the finale of the episode with everyone huddling together as reality falls apart honestly got to me. icy running over to me with book is everything to me. her last moments and she chooses to spend them with book sndbejuxhsbansn

ok uh elimination predictions probably tree from dpya but maybe marker?? idk maybe his fans wont like him green. from team two i would like it to be grassy but i know hes gonna get the most votes again somehow. sorry taggy it might be your time to go

idk how to end this

[helenofblackthorns]

ooo to add onto this, I feel like this whole situation become so so much more interesting & complex when you read it with the knowledge gained from the infernal devices. because by the time city of heavenly fire is published, it's very very clear that Jace is Tessa's descendant; the family tree literally spells it out for you. TID's main plot is all tied up in Tessa's weird ancestry, ultimately being revealed that she is the daughter of an unblessed Shadowhunter & the greatest of all Eidolon demon and by being her descendant, Jace is their descendant too. the mortal instruments works best when you're aware of the irony that Jace really did have demon blood all along, and that was intentional fairly early on (Tessa first appears in at the end City of Glass and is clearly there talking to Magnus bc one of her descendants just appeared out of thin air lol).

I definitely have my critiques with how Jonathan & his demon blood was handled at times but also CC does hint towards the flaws of how the characters view Jonathan & I know I forget that sometimes lol. like the second half of tmi, where we see the most of Jonathan, was directly juxtaposed with the infernal devices when it was being published. there's an obvious parallel between Tessa and Jonathan, as they're both the product of child experimentation combining angel and demon blood in order to create a new species of people, but Tessa very decidedly not evil because she wasn't raised by a egotistical manipulator who wanted her to be. multiple times are we showed both Jocelyn and Valentine having biases about Jonathan that aren't actually found on anything, although with Valentine these tend to come from extra content (theres a mini comic & Jonathan's "fun fact" in the flower book comes to mind too). I do wish there was a little more within the actual series tho tbh.

as for Jace reclaiming the name Herondale, I think it's just that. Valentine raised him to be anyone, and thus no one, a changeling (Tessa parallel??). his name wasn't given to him, but someone else, and he grew up living someone else life. as far as anyone was concerned, Valentine especially, there was no baby Herondale. To me, by choosing the name Herondale, Jace defies Valentine and all his plans by reaffirming he was someone before he tried to erase him. Valentine told him who he was, who he should be by constantly robbing Jace of what he had, and the very first thing he took was Stephen and Celine, and their parents (directly or indirectly). Jace can't hate them or love them, because he never knew them. and if the Herondales die without him, then it just another thing Valentine stole from him.

like idk to me, it's less about whether or not Jace had a relationship with Stephen (or any Herondale) that justifies him continuing on the family name, because he doesn't. but by being a Herondale, he survives Valentine and everything he did. everything Valentine did was meaningless in the end — he didn't need to do it! circling back to Tessa, if Valentine wanted a shadowhunter with demon blood that badly, he had one standing right next to him willing to do whatever he wanted! nobody asked him to start sacrificing sons to the cause of creating a better world in his image.

(side note, I imagine the reason he doesn't consider the Montclaire name is because it's probably already been reclaimed by the Clave or has other members still continuing it. Herondale was still being used by Imogen up until her death in City of Ashes so it dying out is a very recent development)

it's 2am this might have stopped being coherent ages ago but like also idk if I read that as Jace saying people can't change tbh. to me he's saying that names in and of themselves don't really change anything, like Jonathan dying his hair black didn't change anything either. a name is just a name, and Herondale was supposed to be his. something could also be said on how it parallels Clary too because Jocelyn spent her own life pretending she was Clary Fray, a normal mundane girl, but she wasn't. Valentine would have wanted her to be Clary Morgenstern, but she wasn't that either.

My firmest TSC take will always be that Jace should have gone by Lightwood in the end. I get that him being a Herondale makes sense in the grand scheme of the TSC universe (him, Will, James, Kit, and Edmund are all birds of a feather), but his personal arc is far more dependent on the family who raised him. Learning about his biological parents is of course important to him, but calling himself a Herondale doesn't actually feel like a resolution to his identity crisis. TMI is all about rejecting the hatred handed down from previous generations, which is why neither Clary nor Jace identify as Morgensterns. While Stephen was nowhere near as bad as Valentine, he also did even less to shape Jace into his adult self. Robert and Maryse on the other hand actually raised him for half his life, and Alec Isabelle and Max grew up alongside him as his siblings. He's a Lightwood in every way that matters, I don't get why Jace (in-universe) would choose to identify himself as a Herondale when there's nothing tying him to that family but blood spilled before he was born.

Anyways, I'm a Jace Lightwood truther for life, thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[poseidon-you-loser]

Cursed!Odysseus EPIC au part two

(Part one link below if you haven’t read it yet)

Odysseus didn’t remember closing his eyes, but he must have at some point because the next thing he knew, the sun was shining on his face and the storm was gone.

His head still throbbed however and he let out a groan as he tried to raise his right hand to rub over his eyes. He gave up halfway there when a sharp protest came from his shoulder, and he just sat for a moment as his body throbbed in aching pain. He panted for a moment to catch his breath as his entire right side screamed at him.

“Perimedes is patched up. We think he will recover.” A familiar voice said to his right and he tried not to moan as he turned his aching head in that direction.

How long had he been sitting propped up against the side of the ship?

Squinting at the light, he could make out the tired form of Eurylochus beside him. The tall man had his large sword resting on his knees, and he scrubbed at the red on the blade. The furrow of his brow seemed to indicate distress that a stain had taken to the blade.

“Wha?” Was the closest intelligent response the King of Ithaca could give at the moment.

“Perimedes. He will be fine.” The patient voice repeated, though frustration leaked between the words as the frown on his face deepened.

“Perimedes was injured?” Odysseus slurred out, and his tongue felt heavy in his mouth, running into his teeth too often for his comfort.

The steady scrubbing sounds stopped and a world heavy sigh followed.

“Captain? Do you not remember what happened?” Eurylochus sounded hesitant now and almost sad. Odysseus could’ve swore that a heavy silence suddenly fell over the ship, despite the thirty plus men who resided there.

He took a moment to collect himself, and his brain struggled through a heavy fog before it gave him images.

Odysseus jerked forward abruptly, groaning in pain as his eyes roamed the deck and skeleton crew before settling on his own hands.

They were normal.

He gasped in relief, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

“I’m cured.” He breathed out in a shaky exhale.

“Captain. You are not cured.” Eurylochus spoke up from beside him, his sword cleaning discarded as he stared at his friend.

Odysseus felt his heart skip for a moment. “What?”

“You are not cured. We have done nothing for the gods to grant us this mercy so soon. You were unconscious, that is all.” Eurylochus seemed so certain of this that a suspicion started to set low in his belly.

“How do you know this, Eurylochus?” He whispered, fear clenching him in a vice.

“Captain, you cannot see it, but your eyes are red. They shine like the monsters we’ve faced.”

Odysseus brought his left hand up to hover over his eyes, feeling self conscious.

Penelope once said her favorite part of him was his eyes. How was he supposed to face her now? Would she recognize them when they were not brown, but red like the blood he’d shed to get back to her?

His hand cracked in front of him, claws breaking free and extending a few inches.

He gasped in shock and pain, dropping his hand and bringing it close to his chest.

No, this wasn’t happening. Was this the deal he struck? Doomed to be a monster to save the lives of himself and his crew?

“Anything else. Please.” His own words echoed in his head and he tried not to think of what Penelope would do when she saw him.

If she saw him again.

He choked on his own cry and the pain reverberated through him and irritated the wounds on his right side. He’d been stabbed and shot by his own crew in the span of one day.

He was so tired of it all.

The claws did not retract.

“You also have a few other problems.” Was the slow but deadpan response and he brought his gaze up to see Eurylochus pointing down to the other side of the deck.

A long object laid there, undisturbed until now as it twitched. It was a good eight feet long and it led right back to where he was sitting. Red, brown, and black scales shinned down the length of it, only broken up with patches of fur of the same colors, until it came to a rather large amount of feathers and fur at the end.

It looked soft.

His brain halted when he realized and remembered. “That’s a tail.”

“Yes, Captain. Your tail.” Eurylochus responded calmly.

Odysseus shifted and that is when the rest of it sunk in. He groaned at the presence of wings being crushed behind him and he leaned forward to take pressure off the feathered and scaled appendages.

They were large as well, fifteen feet at least in length. They were the same red, brown, and black as the tail he’d sported.

The tail twitched and moved closer, dragging upon the deck, until it curled up next to him.

He was too distracted to give it mind.

“How close are we to home, Eurylochus?” Odysseus closed his eyes and gasped out as he tried to shift and move, stiffness and new appendages making the effort seem insurmountable.

“About seven days time, sir,” was the response, though it seemed strangely halted.

Odysseus cracked open his left eye to see his friend sitting stiffly next to him. The end of the tail was on his second’s lap and his hands hovered above it. Something broke in his expression as he stared at the appendage.

“I’m so sorry, Captain.” Eurylochus broke, tears leaking from his eyes. “I should’ve listened to you.”

Which time, Odysseus did not know. With the wind bag or with the cows? It seemed like the crew could’ve done more of listening to him.

But a sobbing friend was still a hard thing to watch.

Odysseus’s heart clenched, and he felt the tail move without his permission to wrap around his friend in comfort.

Eurylochus froze, but ultimately buried his hands and face into the soft feathers, sobs wracking his strong frame.

Odysseus would’ve joined him but he couldn’t find enough moisture to fill his eyes.

He was so tired.

“Captain?” A different voice called out and he looked up to see other parts of the crew gathering on the deck. They stood back from him, fear in their eyes as they saw Eurylochus having a breakdown beside him. “What do we do now?”

Odysseus sighed deeply.

“We go home.”

The crew weakly nodded at that and set back to work.

“Ody?” He heard the broken call from beside him.

Eurylochus had emerged from burying himself in the comfort of his friend’s new appendage. His eyes were bloodshot and he’d never looked so burdened before, not even when they were in the ten years at war or when Polites died.

Odysseus pulled the tail away from him slowly, the sound of it dragging on the deck very loud in the near silence of the exhausted crew.

“I’m so sorry I betrayed your trust. I thought I was doing what was right for the crew. We can never make it at this rate. We will starve before we reach the shores of Ithaca.” Eurylochus looked deep into his eyes as he said this, unflinching at his friend’s new appearance.

“Hunger is so heavy.” The crew echoed his second as they mourned, and Odysseus felt his body could only agree.

He said nothing in response as he attempted to stand, clawed hands grabbing the side of the ship. His wings flared out to right his balance until he was leaning heavily on the railing and staring out at the sea.

His stomach churned, angry at its emptiness as he stared over the side of the ship and into the water.

Though they were spared from the wrath of Poseidon, it did not look like the god was inclined to fed them.

Nothing stirred in the waters. No fish. No food.

His hands clenched on the wooden boards beneath him and wood splintered underneath them as he tried to keep his breathing steady.

The bloodlust always got worse with his thoughts of food. Why did Eurylochus have to bring this up again so soon?

“Penelope. Telemachus.” He whispered to himself as he felt his tail thrash irritatedly on the wooden deck.

The crew gave him a wide berth since his…change, so Odysseus knew Eurylochus was the only one near him.

“Eurylochus.” He turned to face his second once more.

“Captain. Not long before you woke the crew spotted an island in the distance.” The man looked hesitant at the topic change, knowing his words were not going to be received well.

Odysseus froze. “Ithaca is seven days away.” His ears twitched in agitation.

They couldn’t be serious?

“The crew won’t make it that long, sir. They cannot row without food.” He gestured to the weak crew, barely moving the oars in the water.

“Why not? I have, haven’t I? Do we not remember how I came to be this way, Eurylochus?” He snapped, and something else responded likewise in his ribcage. He hunched with a groan, panting as he held his side and felt rolling skin that wanted to burst with scales.

“Captain. I think it would do you well to eat also.” His second pleaded with him.

“It would do me well to see my wife!” He snarled, and something else gave beneath his skin as it warped and changed.

He must’ve black out for a moment because he next heard frantic yells and orders shouted.

“Take us to that island now!” Eurylochus shouted as Odysseus fought back the change, wings curled around him as he hugged his ribcage to stop it from expanding.

“Penelope.” He choked out before a sword hilt came down upon his head.

[rawbin-hsr]

OMGGG Your latest smut fic is so amazing!!! The smut is absolutely delicious! but....the angst is breaking my heart so...could you please write a continuation or part two where the reader confronts Aventurine's dark internal thoughts and comforts them? A fic where they actually get him to believe that they love him for real, where they tell him that he's not a monster and that he wasn't ruining them.

You've got it ! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

Aventurine x Reader

You treat Aventurine with more respect than he deserves. (Part 2)

Read part 1 here !

CW: dehumanisation (internal, thoughts Aventurine has of himself, referring to himself as a “monster”), lots of mentions of death, passively suicidal Aventurine, violent imagery (through metaphors, nobody is actually physically harmed), intrusive thoughts, Aventurine thinks kind of vicious things about you (refers to you as "stupid", "brainless", "naive" etc), cursing.

Lmk if there’s anything else I should warn about !!

Small note: Spoiler alert sorry, but you will not completely fix Aventurine in this fic. Making any real progress would take YEARS. The trauma he's gone through and his beliefs about his own humanity are EXTREMELY deep-seated, just one conversation would not be enough to make him truly believe he was loved. Super sorry since I'm sure that's not what you wanted (you specifically requested they "truly get him to believe that they love him for real", but this does still end on a hopeful note so I hope you won't be too disappointed (•ᴗ•,, ) )

Sometimes Aventurine gains enough clarity to remember where he stands. More importantly, he gains enough clarity to remember where you should stand. That is to say, as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately, you are never keen on doing that. 

In these moments of clarity, he distances himself. If you won’t do it, he has to. He needs to. He needs to even when he can feel the little pieces of him that you’ve managed to haphazardly glue together splinter into tiny shards again, even when it feels like every step away is a step walked on shattered glass. He can hardly be called a ‘person’ anyways, what does his suffering matter? He has already lost so many good things, why not add another loss to the tally?

He reads your texts, but he doesn’t respond. He hangs up on you the moment you call. By doing this, he makes sure you know he is alive. Both because he knows it would devastate you if you thought he died, but even more so to make sure you know he is intentionally ignoring you. He hopes at least some part of you hates him. He thinks part of him hates you.

But he can never stay away for long. Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. Thoughts of you always cloud his mind too much to do what is right. He reminds himself he will destroy you. He comes back anyways. He is too selfish not to. 

And you welcome him with open arms every time. Sure, sometimes you yell. Sometimes you berate him. Sometimes you cry. But he never does something beyond the bounds of what you’ll forgive, even though he tries to. You’re patient to a fault. Though he feels bad, he never takes it fully seriously, because you always hold him with so much sweetness, even when your words are filled with righteous anger and justified hurt. You always end it by reminding him that you love him. Something clenches in his chest; something that is not his heart, because he has none. He claims he is sorry, but you both know he will do this again. He always does. You know he will hurt you over and over, even if you don’t know the extent. You know he will test you, that he will ignore you, that he will cling to you and that he will taunt you. You don’t know he will drag his claws through you and tear you to ribbons; you don’t know he will sink his teeth into your neck and drink all your blood; you don’t know he will lure you to sea and drown you. You are never aware of the true danger you are in. 

Maybe that’s why you one day feel comfortable enough to corner the creature that has taken on the appearance of a lover. You sit down next to him in bed one evening after one of his many attempts to push you away, your expression grim. You look straight ahead, right into his dead eyes, unaware that a monster is towering over you. 

“We can’t go on like this,” you say. For one moment, the crushing relief and devastation threatens to consume him, and he’s not sure which of the feelings is stronger. For one moment he can’t breathe. 

He hacks our a laugh, his skin straining. Something is shifting beneath his flesh, something ugly and dangerous. He needs to leave and he needs to do it quickly. 

“You’re right, we can’t,” he agrees, his voice a lot more steady than he feels. He feels the urge to grab you and shake you until you pass out. He feels the urge to suck out your life force until your body is an empty husk. He feels the urge to slam your head into the bathroom sink in the next room over. He feels the urge to shoot himself in the head, because he does not want to do any of that. 

“I love you,” you say, unexpectedly. Or maybe it’s not unexpected. You always say such stupid, brainless things. (You say it with sweetness. The only sweetness he can offer in return is the sweetness of bacteria digesting rotting meat. Is the flesh his, or will it be yours?) He laughs again. 

“I thought we were breaking up,” he says. Smirking, as if it’s funny. (It isn’t.)

“No, we’re really not,” you say firmly. He snorts. 

“Maybe we should.”

You don’t answer. Instead, you come closer. 

Get away, he thinks. Run, you fucking idiot. 

You don’t have many flaws, but the ones you do have are insurmountably big. You are too forgiving, you are too kind, you are too selfless, you are too naive. You will kill yourself doing this one day. You will let him kill you.

Your arms wrap around him. He can’t help but relax. The thing lurking under his human disguise grows more restless. 

“I don’t hate you,” you say, unexpectedly. And this one really is unexpected, because what made you say that? Your arms squeeze around him tighter. “I thought I was being obvious enough about that, but you’re so bad at understanding it.”

The feeling he has is the same as the feeling he gets when he realises a deal is going awry. You are the highest risk stakes he has ever made a bet on: will he ruin you, or will you ruin him? What you could do to him is so much more serious than death. He knows that he is holding a losing hand. He doesn’t even know what he stands to win.

You kiss his neck. He shudders. 

“Why are you so scared of me?” you ask. 

Scared? He is not scared. What an outright laughable concept. Neither of you are scared, but if one of you was, it should be you, but you aren’t, for some reason.

“What gives you that idea?” he chuckles, but his voice is not as steady this time, and he can feel his smile slipping. (What is wrong with him? He doesn’t want to think about it. The answer is always ‘everything’.)

“Your hand is shaking.”

It is, but that is not because he is afraid. Fear is a human response, borne from the desire to live. It is instinctual. It means kicking and screaming, it means clawing your way out of hell for the chance to see another day, it means fighting for the life you don’t want to end. He cannot die, you see. Death cannot occur twice. Just because his body reacts, that does not necessarily mean he can truly fear any longer.

(Then again, maybe his reaction does not come from the thought of his death.)

“I’m not scared,” he says, and his voice sounds a lot weaker than he had expected. You pull him closer, cradling his head against the crook of your neck. His blood is pulsing too quickly.

“It would be okay if you were,” you murmur. “I know you don’t know how to be loved. That’s okay. I’ll teach you. You just have to let me.”

Squash. Slice. Tear.

Maybe you are the monster. He can feel your claws prying his chest open; he can feel your teeth dig into his flesh; he can feel something that is not air fill his lungs. The biggest difference between you and him is that he devours, while you give. You painfully shove something back into the cavity meant to contain his soul, you pump blood back into his system, and you fill whatever gaps are left in him with something that is first cold but quickly warms. 

(He realises, belatedly, that something is pumping inside his chest again. But it can’t be a heart, can it? He lost that so long ago.)

“I’ll kill you,” he manages through gritted teeth, claws digging into your shirt. It is not a threat. It is not a warning. It is just the truth.

“You think too much,” you admonish him. Your tone is as gentle as your words are cutting. “I wish you would trust me more. You’re so determined to ruin your own life, and I don’t like it.”

“That’s just how I am. Deal with it or leave.”

“I’ll deal with it, then.”

Like a werewolf called by the full moon; like a vampire to blood; like a siren to a sailor. He will destroy you. But you accept it. 

He has tried time and time again to push you away, but he is weak. So incorrigibly weak, and though your flaws are insurmountable, his are all-consuming. He is a monster in all the ways that matter. But you stubbornly will not leave despite that. 

(Maybe that makes him a little more willing to try to change his nature. Just a little. Just for you. If you will not leave anyways, maybe he could try to make his presence a little less torturous.)

“Just… please stop ignoring me,” you sigh, nuzzling into his hair. Tenderly, tenderly, tenderly, so tenderly it makes his skin crawl. Your claws are softly piercing into him and he is helpless, unable (unwilling) to fight back. “I can deal with everything else. I just hate it when you do that. I can’t keep going weeks without speaking to you. I know you have some kind of… weird ideas that I’d be better off without you, but that’s not true. I love you, and I love being around you. I can’t help you when you cut me off at every corner.”

Cut, slice, slash.

Something in him breaks. Something he knows cannot be salvaged. Something he knows you would not want to salvage. Something he is not sure if he wants to salvage either, now that it is broken anyways.

He breathes a shaky breath, his fingers — his fingers, not claws, not this time — digging into your back. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, and he does not feel the urge to bite down. Though his eyes feel wet, it would not be enough water to drown you. 

He knows your line of logic is wrong. He knows the fact remains unchanged: he is a monster of a man. He will ruin you. But maybe your presence sparks enough electricity to keep his heart pumping, just for a little while, and maybe he can wait until things actually start going downhill before he lets you go. Maybe he can remember how to be a human for a bit, maybe he can pretend he is. 

“I just… don’t want to do something I can’t take back,” he whispers. “Not with you. You’re the… the only good thing I have left. I don’t know what I’d do if I…”

“That’s sweet, but I’m not as weak as you think I am,” you reply. “I’ve held out this long, haven’t I? Put more faith in me.”

He smiles.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

---------------------------------------------------------

My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3 Also reblogs are EXTREMELY appreciated the final push I needed to finish this was from a very kind individual who reposted and analysed my writing I've been riding that high ever since they did that ily bro

[omegaovaries]

prompt: memories | ao3

Ace notices little details of people’s appearances more often than he’d like to admit.

It’s easy on the Grandline – Ace has seen and met and fought more people in a year than he has in his entire childhood on Dawn. There’s all different sorts of people to meet, to avoid, to just be around it almost makes him dizzy.  

It takes a while before he catches onto what he’s doing. 

He stares a little too long at blond men and women, watching the sunlight catch into their hair, watching the moonlight make the strands glitter. He stares at certain shades of blue too long – blue ribbons and waistcoats and denim and eyes. But especially the ocean. He has to shake himself awake from a trance somedays, staring out at the waves that can be so bright they mirror the sky, staring out at indigo waves only illuminated by moonlight.

The Spades noticed after a while and eventually the Whitebeards do too. 

How his eyes would linger on top hats and hair that would curl just so and how sometimes, he would go quiet and watch the waves from the highest point on deck, thumb rubbing across the embroidery of an old but well kept handkerchief. They notice how on certain days Ace is too loud or too quiet, staring out into the ocean at random moments, fingers unconsciously pressed against the ‘S’ in his tattoo. 

When Luffy’s first wanted poster comes out, instead of saying ‘my little brother,’ Ace will sometimes say ‘our little brother.’ 

Before Ace leaves Luffy near Alabasta to continue his hunt for Blackbeard, he tells him, “We’re proud of you,” easy and automatic. Luffy’s quick “I know,” comes out just as easy.

They both freeze for a moment before Luffy smiles at him, wide and sunny. “I know you guys are.”

[chirpsythismorning]

Say it’s likely there will be a Brokeback Mountain reference in s5 and nobody bats an eye.

Say it’s likely that the final byler fight will be inspired by this scene and society goes wild.

[bloomfish]

It's so weird that in angel s5e2 they do a little flashback to Spike's blaze of glory moment in the last episode of Buffy... but they leave out Buffy saying "I love you". It's such a blatant omission, the ONLY omission from that scene, that it feels totally deliberate and kind of dishonest. Considering a lot of the Spike and Angel moments in S5 revolve around their jealousy and rivalry towards each other, and a LOT of that is to do with Buffy like... Why would you leave it out? It's a pretty big moment for Spike's character in general.

As far as I recall they don't even mention it, they just mention the fact that Spike and Buffy have had a lot of sex compared to bangel's ONE disastrous time (that they remember) but it does kind of cheapen it for Spike. A big motivation for him not leaving LA could have been him not wanting to hold Buffy to her words, since he clearly doesn't believe that she loves him (even though she does, as per Whedon). He presumably thinks she only said that to make him feel better in his final moments, because she wouldn't have to actually follow through on her words. Which is sad. But it makes much more sense as a motivation than the weird 'it cheapens my moment of glory' excuse like since when does spike give a shit about that

[angelpuns]

Update on my health that no one asked for: mmmmbad

[roboyomo]

ahem. this is probably cringe but Kumiho'd kenix is finally a thing

[quiescentdestiny]

I know you've been cursed, but this can be reversed after everything you lost, every penny that it cost you it doesn't get much worse, but you wouldn't be the first to survive this kind of hell.

•• ━━━━━ ••● x ●•• ━━━━━ ••

previous jean art mentioned in the tags.

[moeblob]

Rey, who is in my very biased opinion, one of the funniest "girls" I have because she's just a guy, truly. Like Rey is just short for Reynold because he was recruited by a a goddess to help the hero she selected and the hero is conveniently Reynold's younger brother. So he agrees to help under the condition that the goddess gives him a female body for the other world. She's like "really odd flex but whatever" and gives him a female form and he's like "you know. I can't really blame anyone but myself for not specifying 'please don't turn me into a Lisa Frank personification'."

[blatantprinterpropaganda]

extremely novel things happening in the kidnap preview: threatened/impending separation by way of not the USA! but canada

[qoldenskies]

Srry I dont know if this is spoilers, but what would the Season 2 Finale be like in Canary Continuity? Would anything be super different?

its simultaneously both a spoiler and not, because there's some stuff about ninpo in CW that's spoilers so i cant go over it yet. NEEDLESS TO SAY they will already know about it (trying to phrase this in a way that doesnt give anything away), so im not sure how the emotional core would really be with raph, considering spoilers spoilers they dont rlly have to "unlock" it when theyre already so knowledgeable. all i can say with that. im pretty sure everything else would be closer to canon, albeit with a lot more intensity because everything's hardened them quite a bit (theyre still HORRENDOUSLY silly, its a rise classic, but when it comes to important battle there's less fucking around, and they watch out for each other a lot more, especially with donnie who's going to struggle on the field despise his insistence otherwise. i think the way they approach the shredder would be WILDLY different.)

HOWEVER

i think losing the old lair is going to be less traumatic and a lot more cathartic. i wouldnt kill off shelldon because ive been cruel enough, donnie would probably just have to rebuild him. theyd look at the rubble of their former home and finally breathe.

its scary to have to go through the rubble and salvage what they can. its the loss of a lot of childhood memories, and change is hard. but fuck, that place was a HELLHOLE of bad memories for all of them. i think they'd jump at the excuse to move, despite having to leave a lot behind and having to rebuild. unlike CU i think the process would be a little slower and everyone would be helping out to the best of their ability, and it would genuinely just be... healing. it's a group project. donnie didn't even realize before this point how much weight being in the old lair put on his chest until he felt the relief of it gone. they have a chance to rebuild, and while its still an adjustment, it's happier. being in the old environment is definitely a contributor to his anxiety NOW in cw, mind you.

i think what you should worry about is the movie. not something i'll ever be touching but think about how raph would react after the fact to beating up and choking leo while kraangified. that is all.