#I mean we did get iceland so personally that makes up for it mostly

[kantbeloved]

We have been marriagebaited!

I wanna believe the only reason we didn't get the weddings is because we will get them in Our Sky 3 wedding edition instead!

[survey--s]

593.

Are there any bugs you find cute? Which ones?   Sure, I love ladybirds, dragonflies and butterflies.

Have any keys fallen off of your keyboard? How did this happen? o: No, not on this laptop but it's happened in the past - mostly because I don't really look after my stuff as well as I should.

When was the last time you felt stuck in a rut? Did you get out of it? How?             I don't really remember to be honest - that rarely happens nowadays.

Would you prefer to live in the city or the middle of nowhere? Why? Probably the middle of nowhere as that would be better for the lifestyle I want - which mainly involves lots of animals.

What is your earliest memory?   Getting told off by my dad for falling asleep on a beanbag right in front of a hot radiator.

The person who annoys you the most: What’s so irritating about them?   Ha, I don't really know who that would be.

Do you remember irrelevant things easier than the important things? No. My brain just seems to remember everything.

Do you sleep easily at night?       I've actually been sleeping SO well recently. I'll probably jinx it now but honestly I haven't struggled in weeks.

Out of everywhere you’ve ever been, where was your favourite? Lake Louise in Canada, or Sardinia.

Where would you like to travel next?       I would absolutely love to visit Japan or Iceland, but realistically it will probably be somewhere like Scotland as we have the dog to consider.

Do you prefer scarves to keep you warm or as flimsy accessories? I love the look of scarves but honestly I find them really overwhelming to wear as they cause all sorts of sensory issues.

Do movies ever inspire you to dress like the characters? Name a few: Not so much now, but as a teenager I was often inspired by random movie characters lol. Nobody in particular springs to mind though.

Do you own any clothes that used to be your friends’ / relatives? Yeah, I have jackets and shoes I got from my mum, and as a teenager I always got my cousins' hand-me-downs when we went to visit.

Who do you know that shares your birthday?       A girl named Lizzie who used to go to the same running club as me.

What are some of your interests?             Photography, dogs, cats, horses, riding, nature, being outdoors, trashy reality TV shows, fantasy novels/films.

Do you care more about people’s basics or what makes them unique? I mean, both are important.

Are you a shy person?   I'm not shy, I just don't like talking to new people.

Do you watch any educational TV shows? Which ones? I like nature documentaries and stuff, and sometimes history ones, but they're not really things I go out of my way to watch anymore.

What is one of your favourite items of clothing? My oversized grey knit sweater.

What colour is your dream car? Purple.

Do you like your music loud or soft?         It depends on where I am, who I'm with etc.

Can you sleep through things easily or does it need to be deadly quiet?   It depends. Some nights I sleep through anything and others I can be woken up by the dog huffing about lol.

What are some of your favourite words?               Discombobulated.

Do you believe you only find true love once?       No.

When you see lyrics as survey titles, do you guess the song they came from?         Sometimes, sure. I don't really see that much very often nowadays, though. It seems to be more of a Xanga thing.

Do you prefer live or studio versions of songs?     Studio, unless it's just live with no crowds.

Are you open with people? Not in real life, but I am on here.

If you’re not interested in something, do you find it hard to pretend? It depends on the situation - I'll feign interest if it's like, a client or something, but I'll happily tell Mike or my parents that they're boring me LOL.

If you could learn one skill, which would you choose?       I'd love to be able to sing in tune, or if we're talking about like, idealistic skills then I'd learn how to speak to animals.

Would you want to see your future, if you could?               No.

Do you ever feel a huge sense of dread? I have done in the past, yes.

Can you give directions easily? (Map directions, not as a boss)     Yeah, I can read a map pretty well.

Do you get overly offended when people criticise you?   It depends - sometimes it really upsets me but sometimes it really doesn't bother me.

Is there anyone you don’t know, yet you still dislike heavily? Who / Why?               I mean, murderers and paedophiles? For obvious reasons.

Can you deal with being told what to do?               Not very well, which is one of the reasons I went self-employed lol.

What’s your favourite kind of hat?             I don't really like wearing hats.

What do you find most attractive about yourself?             The way animals like me, even the ones that don’t tend to like people.

What is one of your biggest fears? Is it irrational?               Dementia or something, and no, I don't think so, as there's not really much you can do to prevent it either way.

Do you daydream often?               Yeah, fairly often.

A distinguishing feature of yours: What is it and do you like it?     I don't know...my glasses? I guess I don't mind them.

What is the nicest thing somebody could tell you?             That I’m worth something to them. <--- I like this answer.

[likopinina]

i'm gonna ramble about the song choices because i love rambling about songs i like

siekiera - poza czasem polish post-punk song, the title means "beyond time". it's one of those songs that made it into the playlist mostly because of the vibes. the lyrics are not related to pathologic, they're about a guy hiding in a garage instead of cleaning and he wonders about the cruelty of daily monotony. ironically, the song is also about time ruthlessly moving forward and we all know we'll be able to mess with time in patho 3. but the vibes are so immaculate i had to make this the opener

ic3peak - are you scared? i am not russian song including scary dreams, a pattern of veins, and no fear of dying. pretty straight forward path into patho playlist. by the way, don't you think it's funny that the band's name is ice peak and patho dev's name is ice pick lodge

värttinä – äijö finnish song that reminds me of isidor. the lyrics are about an old village man with a lethal snake on his lap. if you squint you can read the snake as a metaphor for the plague. just as deadly and the thought of isidor cradling the plague on his lap is accurate in a way. near the end of the song the titular old man starts raving like he's mad. probably what isidor was like right before death.

forest swords - crow song with cool vibe 👍

molchat doma - клетка belarusian post-punk song that reminds me of the termitary. title means "cage" and it's heavily implied that this cage is a building. the lyrics overall are unsettling and reminded me of running up and down the termitary stairs trying to figure out where the hell is taya

siekiera - ludzie wschodu another siekiera song, this time the lyrics actually kinda fit pathologic. the song starts with train noises and then the person singing starts asking how savage the titular "people of the east" are: do they cannibalize? do they have religion? do they ride horses? was there a murder? does it happen often? do you sleep well at night? are you afraid of death?

ic3peak - пламя back to ic3speak. the song is delightfully creepy with lines like "screaming is my second nature", "there is no god above my head", "i am on earth for the first time and the last / i will not come back and i will not be resurrected", " pain and love is one and the same". i love this song

eivør – Í tokuni icelandic song. lyrics are about a person looking for another living human being and failing. lovely lines such as "did you see the street lights / shining in the village? / did you see what they did there? / do you remember what the state of things were? / was anyone looking for me?" and "friend, friend do you understand me? / do you know any secret path? / have you wandered as i have / in the endless uncertainty?"

ic3peak - let's die together, я не шучу welcome back ic3peak. true to their usual themes, this one is about death as well. the lines that captivated me are: "again, i'm in a game, and again i didn't save" (oh yes, the pain of stupidly dying to some bandits and realising the last time you saved was several irl hours ago… couldn't be me) and "i set myself on fire, to get warm / this fire heals my heart" (my my if it isnt us running into fire to cure plague lmao. im joking of course but the lady singing sure aint joking, she says so right in the title)

chvrn - delirium russian song, no lyrics though. in the playlist simply because i love this song. and the scary vibe is there, you can hear some people screaming and all

hatari - x another icelandic song on the list. hatari is famous for their anti-capitalist, highly poetic lyrics. these ones are thankfully vague enough that they can be easily applied to worker abuse at the termitary. extra points for lyrics that say over and over "you watched me die, and die, and die, and die". made me think of when you desperately savescum with hope that your fave will survive the nightly dice rolls but they are destined to die

siekiera - serce i do like siekiera's music so here's their third song in the playlist. this title means "heart". upon reading the lyrics i was like, that's literally artemy angst. "you are like blood that the war no longer accepts / you are like a leader with face crashed in the wind / you are like a bird, when you fly, your heart grows cold / you are like a dream ruthlessly tied like an animal". it's artemy angst, dude just trust me okay. themes motifs etc etc

lauren bousfield - sprawling idiot effigy what would be a likopinina playlist without a lauren bousfield breakcore song? it would be incomplete. enjoy the weird noise

sleep dealer - funeral goated post-rock from russia, i'd host a funeral for the Town with that music. it did not just lie down and die, it tossed and turned in fever and fought till the end. and in some endings it even won. but at what cost! some funeral is order either way

desiderii marginis - land of strangers desiderii marginis good for any solemn occasion and that's that on that. i considered using the song "procession" but ended up deciding on "land of strangers" because, well, it is a land of strangers, that steppe

the playlist used to include croatian song "nevera lei lei" by harmonija dissonance but it made youtube ban the whole playlist in russia. as the bachelor would say: nihil novi sub sole - youtube often blocks my videos in russia, i usually just sigh and let it go. but this time it felt very unfitting to let a pathologic playlist get banned in russia. so i switched some titles around and got rid of "nevera". still, i wanted to mention it because it's a great song, even if its lyrics fit pathologic only very vaguely

my playlist inspired by pathologic :D

[link] / [alt link]

as always feel free to make this playlist in spotify (which i dont use)

[oreomonsterhunter]

“I’m not wearing my sexy underwear tonight”

Pairing: Johnny x reader (or OC)

Word Count: 3988

Genre: fluff, not smut but they both really wanna toe the line

Warnings: language, some sexy kisses (cover your eyes kids)

Summary: Johnny takes his best friend on their first date

A/N: this has absolutely morphed into a long term couple, because apparently Princess has taken the reins 😂 if you like this, check out the rest of their story so far on my masterlist!

You were nervous.  Friends with Johnny since diapers, and somehow you were nervous to meet him in five minutes.  You glanced at the time—make that four minutes.

Pacing back and forth in front of the door, you smoothed down your dress again.  All Johnny had told you was to dress up.  He might be a fashion king, but he wasn’t exactly the best at sharing details.  You’d teetered between twenty different outfits before finally settling on a happy medium.  Couldn’t show up to a museum in an evening gown.  Well, you supposed you could, if you even owned one.  So the little black dress at the back of your closet was the final choice.  Safe enough for just about every venue, since Johnny hadn’t told you where your date would be.

You sucked in a breath, fighting against the nerves tight in your stomach.  Your first date, oh my gosh.  How were you supposed to date Johnny?  You’d done practically everything together already, what made this different from going to the movies together last week?  Aside from the obvious—last week, you didn’t know what Johnny’s lips felt like on yours.

Then you groaned at your sudden realization.  Jeez, you couldn’t do anything right in this relationship with Johnny.  You were about to have your first date but you’d already had a hot and heavy makeout session at an unmentionable hour of the morning.  So much for “will I kiss him afterwards?”  Dating for five seconds, and everything was already out of order.  You wanted to scream, but before your thoughts could really start spiraling, you heard a knock at the door.

You were sweating, oh gosh.  Did you need to reapply deodorant?  You froze, staring at nothing.  Until another knock sounded, this time accompanied by Johnny’s familiar voice, “Yo, are you ready to go?”

You sagged in relief.  Nothing else would have snapped you out of the nervous cycle better than Johnny being….well, Johnny.  And when you finally convinced yourself to open the door, the sight of his easy smile was enough for yours to appear, too.

“Well, uh, hi,” he stuttered, making you giggle.

You slipped on your shoes, grabbed a small purse, and locked the door behind you.  Then you linked arms with Johnny, “Alright, where to, mystery man?  You haven’t told me anything.”

“That’s mostly because I didn’t figure anything out until today.”

Biting your lip to hold back a giggle, you tugged him down the hallway.  “No wonder you didn’t share much detail.  I should’ve known.”

Johnny tightened his grip on you when you stepped out of the elevator, leading you to the car.  He didn’t say much, which was a bit out of character.  Frowning up at him, you tried to meet his gaze.  He finally looked down at you when he opened the passenger door for you to get in.  “You, uh, you look really nice tonight.”

A small smile bloomed, “Not looking so bad yourself, hot stuff.”

* * * * *

Apparently Johnny had picked out a restaurant for dinner.  A fancy restaurant.  You read through the list of entrees with a barely-concealed grimace.  “Do you know what any of these words mean?” you asked him.

Johnny beamed at you, “Nope, that’s half the fun.”

A waiter walked by with a tray destined for another table, and you both gaped at the miniscule portion sizes.  “Those look like appetizers,” Johnny said, goggling at the tiny salad. “Maybe I can order several steaks. I’d need about five of them.” He started eyeing the menu again.

“As long as you’re picking up the tab,” you joked.

“Oh, I thought you were,” he said, all wide eyed innocence.  You smacked his arm with your menu, fighting a grin at his usual antics.  The couple at the next table shot you a look, and you hunched back in your seat.

“Don’t worry, I’m paying.  Order whatever you’d like,” Johnny said, still puzzling over the ridiculous dinner options.

You frowned, reaching for your water.  But shoot, it probably cost five bucks for tap, you thought with no small amount of horror.  You set it back down before you drained more of Johnny’s wallet.

After a few more minutes of torturous silence, trying not to fidget too much, you leaned forward.  “Do we even have a waiter?”

Johnny jerked upright, looking over his shoulder at the man in question.  “I don’t know?”

“I’ve been trying to make eye contact with the staff for five minutes and they’re all ignoring me.”

Johnny blinked at you.  “Wait, are you ready to order?”

“No, I wanna ask if they charge for water.”

“No one charges for water,” he chortled.

“I bet it’s five bucks a glass,” you said, crossing your arms.

Now Johnny was really laughing, and half the restaurant was staring at your table.  “Only if it’s imported from the crystal springs of Iceland,” he said, grinning.

“Wait, really?”

“Hell if I know,” Johnny said, making you snort some of your water.  You shrunk down in your chair, hiding your red face while he kept laughing.

“I don’t know this man,” you said to the people at the next table. They stared at you, whispering among themselves.  Pouting, you turned back to Johnny.  “I can’t believe you booked a table here,” you cocked an eyebrow at him.  “I thought we were burger joint people, not escargot snobs.”

“Do you really not wanna eat here?” he asked, propping his elbows on the table.

You opened your mouth to respond, but your waiter finally showed up to take your order.  “Good evening, can I interest you in anything else to drink?”

“Any Icelandic sparkling water?”  Now Johnny was the one snorting inelegantly.

The waiter laughed, despite not knowing the joke.  “Can I interest you in a bottle of red?  You seem like a red wine woman.”

You smiled politely, reaching for the wine list when he offered it to you.  “Sure, I’ll take a look.”

The waiter smirked, eyes landing on you.  “I’ll have to card you, miss.”

Your brows raised, but you complied, digging out your wallet.  Across the table, Johnny cleared his throat, “Do I look like a red wine guy?”  But the waiter barely glanced at him before his eyes were back on you.

“Your photo doesn’t do you justice,” the waiter commented, handing your ID back.

“No one looks good in those pictures,” you chuckled.

“I beg to differ,” he said, then nodded at the wine list.  “What can I get you?”

You glanced over at Johnny, who was fidgeting enough to shake the table.  Curious.  “What do you recommend?” you asked, twirling a strand of hair around one finger.

“You might be interested in one of our finer vintages,” he began, leaning over your shoulder to point out a few wines on the list.  You heard a subtle sound, and out of the corner of your eye, saw Johnny’s fingers rapping the table at a rapidly increasing pace.  You bit your lip, focusing on the wines again, but not before adding a little more fuel to the fire.  Time to test your theory.  You crossed your legs, brushing one foot up Johnny’s calf in the process.  The man jumped as if electrocuted, his knees banging into the underside of the table.

“How about this one?” you asked innocently, looking up at the waiter again.

“A lovely choice, though it is on the higher range, so I’m not sure—”

“We’ll take it,” Johnny announced, plucking the wine list from your fingers and shoving it at the waiter.

You raised an eyebrow, but the waiter simply smiled at you, apparently unbothered by growly Johnny.  “I’ll bring that right out for you,” he said, taking the wine menu and leaving you to suffer over dinner options.

Johnny cleared his throat, leaning towards you again.  “That waiter’s a bit weird, huh?” he asked, watching the man walk away.  “He didn’t even ask what I wanted.”

You donned your best sparkly-eyed expression, “But he’s being so friendly!  He really deserves a nice tip, he had some helpful suggestions.”

Johnny frowned, “He’s obviously flirting with you.”

“No way,” you laughed, waving him off.

Johnny rolled his eyes, “Trust me.  He’s flirting with you more than I am, and I’m the one taking you on a date.”

You leaned forward, resting your elbows on the table.  “Maybe you should start flirting with me some more, then.”

Johnny sent you an indecipherable look.  You wondered if your teasing had worked.  But Johnny seemed to have calmed down some, now that the helpful waiter was out of sight.  

You shrugged, sitting back in your chair.  You changed the subject, giving the man a break.  “Seriously, we don’t need to spend this much on dinner.  I feel bad.”

“I thought you’d like this place,” Johnny said, brows furrowing.

“I will literally go anywhere with you, it doesn’t matter, I just….I dunno, I feel like I don’t fit in here.”  You weren’t quite sure how to express your fear that people would call you a gold-digger or something, only dating Johnny now that he’d achieved success.  Even if the two of you knew better, it still made your stomach twist.  And not in the nice way it did while watching Johnny’s hands playing with his water glass.  Shoot, shoot, shoot, now his fingers were wet from the condensation.  You really didn’t need to know what that looked like.  Had his hands always been that large?  You shifted in your seat.

Johnny’s mouth twisted in a wry smile, “I don’t know if either of us really fit in with the rich old person vibe, but I heard the food is good.”

I’d rather have a bite of you, you thought to yourself, twisting the napkin in your lap.  You’d never seen him in a suit before.  Or at least, not in person.

Johnny coughed suddenly, staring at you with wide eyes.  “What?”

Oh shit, did you say that out loud?  Your cheeks burned.  “Um, I’d be, uh,” you stuttered, trying to cover your mistake, all confidence extinguished.  “We could get burgers, or something.”

Johnny sat back in his chair, eyes on yours.  He smirked, and you wanted to disappear into a hole in the ground.  Oh no, he definitely heard you.

“As long as I get to keep watching you,” Johnny said, voice low.  “You really are beautiful, not just tonight.  Every night.”

You opened your mouth, not sure what to say, but knowing that you wanted Johnny to keep looking at you like that.  Like you were the main course.  “Johnny, I—”

“Your wine, miss,” the waiter had returned.  You bit back a frown, knowing he was just doing his job.  But he seriously couldn’t have waited another minute?

“Thank you,” you murmured, sampling the first sip before allowing the waiter to pour both glasses.

“Can I interest you in any appetizers?” he asked, pouring Johnny’s wine.

You blinked, having forgotten the menu entirely.  Across the table, Johnny pulled out the menu, but before he could point anything out, the waiter was hovering over your shoulder.  “Might I recommend the cheese board?  It will pair beautifully with this bottle.”

“Might I tell you my order?” Johnny said.  His smile was sharper than before.  You might have teased him some more, but you got a bit distracted by Johnny’s jawline as he turned to speak to the waiter.  Honestly, you were having trouble tearing your eyes away from him all night.  It felt like seeing him for the first time, and in a way, you supposed you were.  You’d always known Johnny was attractive, since the time all boys started to look cute.  You’d just never let yourself think about it too much.  Best friend mental boundaries and all that.

Maybe if Johnny hadn’t said anything on that night, you wouldn’t have ever seen him like this.  You wouldn’t have allowed yourself to admire the column of his neck, or his long fingers as they unbuttoned the top of his shirt.  It would’ve been you and your stupid butterflies trapped in the friend zone forever.

Thoroughly distracted now, you bit your lip as you wondered what Johnny’s neck would look like with some new decorations.

“You realize they sell food here, right?  You don’t have to look at me like I’m an appetizer,” Johnny whispered across the table dramatically.  You startled, looking around, but the waiter had left at some point during your daydream.  Oh gosh, did you drool?  You pressed the back of your hand to your face discreetly, relieved to find nothing of the sort.

Then your brain caught up to Johnny, and you looked up at him with a smirk, “You’re too big to be an appetizer.”

Johnny choked on a laugh, covering his mouth to hide his smile when the other diners looked your way.  When he appeared to have himself under control again, he eyed you from head to toe—or at least what he could see from across the table.  He shot you a grin, “You’ll find out soon enough, won’t you?”

You watched him through your lashes, not quite sure what to make of him anymore.  You’d had your fair share of fun with other guys, but never in a million years had you imagined flirting with Johnny so blatantly.  Let alone in a fancy five star restaurant like this.

A sudden presence at your side startled you, and you jumped a little when the waiter reached over your shoulder to set a dish down.  “Sorry for startling you,” he murmured, moving away slightly, but not before brushing your shoulder in apology.  “Should I leave you with this for now, or are you ready to order?”

Johnny’s eyes flashed, and you bit back a curse at the waiter’s truly stellar ability to interrupt.  “We’re fine, thank you,” you said, unable to stop watching Johnny.  Or his hand, slowly tightening into a fist on top of the table.

“Would you like to hear the specials tonight?”

You donned a polite smile, nodding at the waiter to continue.  While he read down the list of fancy-sounding entrées, you turned your smile on Johnny, who was vibrating in his seat again.  You could’ve sworn your water glasses were shaking, and you held back a giggle.  You uncrossed and recrossed your legs, extra slowly to make sure he got the message when you “accidentally” brushed his knee this time.  The vibrations stopped, and his eyes burned into you.

“Thank you, we’ll keep looking over the menu,” Johnny interrupted the waiter, his voice deeper than before.  Your smile only grew.

Once the waiter was out of earshot, you leaned in.  “Can we leave?  I can’t even kiss you here.”

“Yep, yes, absolutely,” Johnny said, standing up the second the words were out of your mouth.  He nearly upended the table, making you snort.  “Right now,” he nodded, striding for the exit.

You scrambled out of your chair, rushing after him.  “Johnny,” you hissed, grabbing his sleeve.  “We didn’t pay yet.”

He came to a halt in the hallway, and you nearly ran into his back.  Then Johnny turned around, and you became very aware of the semi-secluded location as he moved closer.  You squeaked out a panicked, “Not here!”  You backed away until he finally reached out, one hand circling your waist to reel you in.

Johnny’s eyes moved over your shoulder, then back to yours.  He smirked, leaning in close enough for you to feel his lips brushing your cheek as he murmured, “Tell the valet to get the car.  I’ll grab the wine.”

You could’ve sworn you felt his hand brush down your back, lower.  Your cheeks burned hotter.  But when you turned, Johnny’s broad shoulders were disappearing around the corner, and the waiter was hurrying in the opposite direction.

* * * * *

You ended up ditching the car and walking around the neighborhood.  You only looked slightly out of place with your high heels and makeup when you ended up at a tteokbokki joint.  You’d played rock paper scissors between that and burgers, and Johnny won, as usual.

After dinner, you were reasonably close to your apartment, so Johnny offered to walk you home. It felt like another one of your late-night adventures, except you were usually in sneakers. When your feet got tired, you stopped in the middle of the block to take off the killer heels, sighing in relief.  You slung the straps over your wrist, prepared to keep trudging along, when Johnny swooped in.  One second, you were on the ground, the next, you were admiring the top view of Johnny’s ass from where you were dangling over his shoulder.

“Johnny, what the fuck,” you asked breathlessly, dying of laughter.  And from his shoulder digging into your diaphragm.

“Are you crazy?  You could cut your feet open,” he scolded you.

“At least there’s a nice view,” you sighed, reaching down to pat his butt.

Johnny put a little bounce in his next step, and you grunted at the impact.  You could practically feel his smug little grin.  “Hands off the merchandise.”

“How is that fair?  You totally copped a feel back at the restaurant.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Bull,” you said.  “You went all ‘alpha male’ with that nice waiter.”

Johnny huffed, “I wasn’t jealous.”

You grinned in victory.  “I never said you were, mister offering-up-information.  Now put me down, you caveman.”

Johnny’s grip on your thighs loosened, and his hands slid up to your waist, holding you tightly as he helped you back down.  You froze for a second when your feet hit the ground, not expecting to be face-to-face with him so suddenly.  “Wait right there,” Johnny said firmly, finally releasing your waist.

You blinked at him in confusion, watching as he slid his suit jacket off.  Your eyes widened when he reached for you, but it was only to wrap the jacket around your waist, tying the sleeves into a knot to hold it in place.

“There,” Johnny said, nodding at his handiwork.  Then he turned, crouching down slightly.  “Alright, princess, hop on.”

You beamed at him, not that he could see it.  It wouldn’t be a walk with Johnny if he didn’t end up carrying you at the end of the night, you chuckled to yourself.  You were fiercely grateful to Johnny for thinking of his jacket—you weren’t quite sure how long your skirt was, now that you were wrapped around him like a koala.

“Thanks, Johnny,” you mumbled, burying your face in his neck.  “You’re the bestest.”  You left a smacking kiss on his cheek, and he laughed, tightening his hold on your legs.

Finally, you arrived at your apartment building.  You slid your heels back on, balancing with one hand on Johnny’s arm.  “I’ll walk you up,” he said once you straightened.

But when you got to your door, you hesitated, unsure what to say.  Was this the part where you kissed him goodnight?  You were torn, so at odds with the way the night resembled your old friend dates, only now things were different.  What were you supposed to do?

“So,” Johnny drawled, leaning against the wall.  “Where’s my tip?”

You stared at him, incredulous.  “Your tip?” you repeated.

“Johnny’s chauffeur service isn’t free,” he said.  “And if I remember correctly, you still owe me for last time.”

You cocked a hip, smirking slightly.  “Any preferred payment methods?”

Johnny blew you an air kiss, and you made a show of catching it.  “I take cash or card,” he informed you.

“What a shame,” you murmured, dropping your purse in front of the door.  “I seem to have lost my wallet.”

He watched you carefully, barely blinking as you approached him, one slow step at a time.  “Apps?”

You stopped mere inches away, “Not a single one.”

He swallowed, and your eyes tracked the movement.  Your daydream from before came back with a vengeance—you bit your lip at the thought of marking him up.  Then you leaned in, resting one hand on his chest.  His heart pounded through the thin dress shirt.

“Will this do?” you asked, lips just barely brushing his.  Nothing else touched, aside from your fingertips on his sternum, but you could’ve sworn you felt him shiver.

Oh so slowly, Johnny reached out, hands ghosting over your hips.  You smiled against him, then melded your lips to his, bypassing whatever hesitations were holding you back.  What was the worst that could happen?

You felt Johnny teasing at the seam of your lips and gratefully opened for him.  He inhaled sharply when you inched forward, your chest brushing his.  You couldn’t hear anything but your heart racing.  And when his fingers dug into your hips, you fell into the kiss.  He pulled you in like a magnet until every part of you aligned with him.  Your limbs felt molten, burning at the contact.

Johnny pulled away, but not for long.  You gasped for air as his lips traced over your jawline, making their way to the delicate skin beneath your ear.  He pressed hot kisses there until your neck arched back obediently.  And when he nipped at your throat, you whimpered.  Thoughtlessly, your hips rocked forward.  Johnny gave voice to a deep groan, so you did it again.

Growling lightly, Johnny curled an arm around your waist to pull you harder against him.  All of the breath left your body at the feel of his growing hardness against your belly.  You fisted your hands in his collar, tugging him away from your neck.  You caught a glimpse of his kiss-swollen lips and blown out pupils, then dove back in for more.

While your mouth danced with his, your hands dragged southward.  Your fingernails caught on a button or two as you traced the muscle beneath.  Now Johnny’s hips were bucking into yours.  You grinned savagely into the kiss.  You’d just reached his belt when Johnny ripped his mouth away from yours.  “Woah, woah,” he gasped.  “Slow down, there.”

You panted for air, “What’s wrong?”

Both of you were breathing hard, and you were having a hard time ignoring the elephant in the room.  Er, hallway.  “You’re not trying to take advantage of me on the first date, are you?” Johnny asked with a breathy chuckle.

You laughed softly, tilting your chin back to get a good look at him.  “Is it really taking advantage if you want it, too?”  You smirked at him, rolling your hips forward to emphasize your point.

He watched you through half-lidded eyes, and you could’ve sworn you felt him throb.  But Johnny, ever the gentleman, smoothed his hand down your back, resting his head back against the wall rather than picking up where you left off.  “Cut me some slack, I’m not wearing my sexy underwear tonight,” he said with a crooked smile.

Oh no, now you had heart eyes for the man.  You pecked his chin to hide your cheesy grin.  “You let me know when you are, hmm?” you hummed, placing another kiss to the base of his throat.

“Princess, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for you.”

You giggled, leaning back in his arms.  “Am I so scary?”

Johnny sobered, meeting your gaze.  “I just don’t want to mess anything up.  Not with you.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” you smiled at him.  “I trust you too much.”

“Oh yeah?  You still haven’t told me what you wished for on your fourteenth birthday,” Johnny taunted.

You tilted your head, thinking back.  “I didn’t tell you because I was hopelessly in love with you at the time,” you confessed.  “Now that’s out in the open, I guess you can know.”

Johnny blinked, taken aback.  “Even then?”

“Johnny, I think I’ve loved you forever,” you said, staring up at him.  “So of course I wished for the same thing every year.”

“What was it?”

Your smile widened, “Well, it already came true.  You said it, too.”

* * * * *

Masterlist

[redux-iterum]

Speaking of the Erins, what you two think Tui T. Sutherland and the WoF series?

DULLARD: I, personally, have not read the series, so I can't say much beyond "dragon cool I guess". Lynx has plenty to say, though, so get cozy.

LYNX: I think Tui herself is fine enough. She's well-meaning and hasn't done anything out of malice. Wings of Fire is a somewhat messy series, but at least it's a little more coherent than Warriors. Its fandom is kicking up its fair share of drama; some understandable, others dumb... a lot of it really dumb, but I digress.

Its supporting characters could be better, its plots can sometimes be... wonky, and the worldbuilding itself is an absolute mess. These spoilers will be out-of-context and won't make much sense if you haven't read them, so don't worry about being spoiled for huge plot revelations.

- How the fresh hell are these bastards able to breed with each other? Their speciation has gone in wildly different directions and this all happened in a few thousand years?

- You're telling me that after 2000 years of normal talking, everyone who is and isn't divided by geographical barriers is able to communicate with one another? And that hundreds of dragons adopted one dragon's tongue? I can get some dragons learning her language and its linguistic descendant(s) surviving as prestige dialects, but this is dumb.

- The maps are frickin messes. If the island is north of Pyrrhia's Wing, it'd be more like Iceland than Hawaii like they implied it to be. Also that's not how deserts work.

- WC and WoF have the opposite issue with peer polities: WC wants you to think it's a peer polity system (think Japanese or Scottish Clans, Greek City-States, and the English Heptarchy) when it isn't because the cultures aren't distinct enough, while WoF's queendoms are (theoretically) too distinct from one another, and shouldn't be considered independent states with a shared cultural identity.

- On that note, even as a teenager first reading the books, I thought the trope of "one faction for each species" was dumb because not everyone in that species would agree with their leader and would go make their own queendom or throw a coup or something! This isn't Ancient and Imperial China with their Mandate of Heaven!

- Everyone knows Mudwings kinda got the shortest end of the stick, only having one glance into their culture at the end of the first book and nothing else, but the other cultures don't have much of anything to speak about either. Can you recall any religious beliefs that play into the story or character arcs? Are there any great philosophers whose musings sparked various social mores? Do they recite poetry or spin epics or sing folksongs? What does the average dragon do since we mostly see the managerial-class dragons act in the story?

- The hell is up with humans? Why is everything "dragon-sized" yet humans are so tiny? Why are blueberries the size of a fist?? Why are dragon-world sheep larger than earthen moose?? WHY IS THE CAT NORMAL-SIZED??

- Why do the dragons have cheese and how did they discover they could eat it. They're reptiles. Why are they eating dairy products.

[hatari-translations]

can you maybe tell us a bit more about the parties in icelandic politics? that is super interesting for me after reading your last post

Well, sure! Please bear in mind that as you may have gathered I am not unbiased, and I'm by no means the most knowledgeable person about this.

Sjálfstæðisflokkurinn (The Independence Party)

Originally founded in 1929, this party's name originally referred to independence from Denmark (achieved in 1944), but today it's just Iceland's dominant right-wing party. On other countries' scales they're fairly center-right in terms of policies; they want a strong welfare system, they're pro-immigration, they're not against LGBT rights, etc. However, they are very much the party of Iceland's rich elite establishment, and in particular have close ties to Iceland's largest corporations, and every other political scandal involves them being varying degrees of terrible, from "Independence Party minister breaking COVID restrictions" to "Independence Party minister in the Panama Papers" to "Independence Party minister's father signs a letter to 'restore the honor' of a convicted pedophile" (these three were all the same minister, who by the way still leads the party and is still finance minister) to "terrible corrupt fishing company Samherji introduced the Independence Party's health minister as 'our guy in the government' at meetings with the Namibian officials they were bribing".

The Independence Party opposes the new constitution, ostensibly because blah blah stability distractions about how changes to the constitution need to be approved through the appropriate process (yes, we know, we want that process to happen), but we all know it's really because the new constitution would have the fishing companies pay a fair price for their access to Iceland's natural resources, and that would be bad for their bottom line. They are also opposed to joining the EU.

The Independence Party has been the largest party in every single Icelandic election since it was founded except the 2009 one (which was right on the heels of another scandal - believe me, I barely scratched the surface above - as well as the 2008 financial crisis), where they managed to dip below the Social-Democratic Alliance with 23.7% of the vote, their lowest parliamentary election result ever. Historically they'd get upwards of 40% or even more of the vote; these days it's more like 25%, and this election's result of 24.4% is their second lowest ever. Even in polls days right after a huge scandal, the lowest I've ever seen the Independence Party poll at was something like 19%; that's why I've said here that 20% of the country will just vote for them no matter what. This means the Independence Party is always the most powerful party, and them not being in the government coalition is very much the exception.

Framsóknarflokkurinn (The Progressive Party)

Iceland's oldest political party, founded in 1916. Originally it was the farmers' party, and they've historically been most popular in rural areas, where they have longstanding loyalty. They're more or less center to center-right. Historically, they've formed coalitions with both the right and the left, but particularly in the past few decades they have been glued to the Independence Party in particular. They have occasional particular pet issues that they latch onto, but overall it doesn't really feel like they stand for much of anything in particular, other than wanting to maintain the status quo and be in government with (preferably) the Independence Party. They are also against the new constitution and the EU.

Vinstrihreyfingin - grænt framboð (The Left-Green Movement)

Founded in a 1999 split on the left, the Left-Greens are a left-wing party with a focus on equality and the environment, but with enough of a semi-conservative bent to have some common ground with Independence and Progressives on matters like opposing EU membership and being hesitant about the Constitutional Committee's draft constitution. A lot of their voters were very unhappy with them entering into the current coalition with the Independence Party and the Progressive Party (the former in particular); two of their MPs actually left the party after that decision, reducing but not destroying the government's majority.

Samfylkingin (The Social-Democratic Alliance)

Founded in 2000 as a fusion of two parties (hence the 'alliance'), the Social-Democratic Alliance is a center-left social democratic party. They were very popular in the early 2000s, almost rivaling the Independence Party for votes, and formed a coalition government with Independence in 2007, which oversaw the 2008 financial crisis; initially people mostly blamed the Independence Party, allowing the Alliance to become the biggest party in the 2009 election with 29.8% of the vote, but as the following coalition with the Left-Greens had to deal with the fallout of the recession, a lot of anger was directed at the Alliance too, and the party has never managed to recover since, instead hovering between 5-15% of the vote (but still stands strong in some municipal elections and currently leads the Reykjavík city council). They want to join the EU and ratify the new constitution.

Píratar (The Pirate Party of Iceland)

You may have heard of Pirate Parties before, originating with the Pirate Party of Sweden. Iceland is the only country where the Pirate Party has actually managed to get elected to the national parliament, and is an entirely serious political movement. At one point after the revelation of the Panama Papers, the Pirate Party was miraculously polling at 43%; sadly, by the time there was an actual election they'd gone down to 15%. Their primary concerns are transparency, democracy, privacy, human rights and freedoms, and "no bullshit", and among other things they want to establish a universal basic income. A lot of its founders were computer scientists and geeks of various stripes.

They refuse to be classified on the left-right scale, but in practice, their policies are strongly aligned with the leftier parties (one popular website comparing the parties on concrete policy questions for this election classed them as having 90% agreement with the Social-Democratic Alliance, 87% with the Socialists, and 83% with the Left-Greens). They are strongly in favor of ratifying the new constitution.

Miðflokkurinn (The Center Party)

After the 2008 financial crisis, the Progressive Party gained a more populist bent, led by Sigmundur Davíð Gunnlaugsson, who was prime minister from 2013 until 2016 when he was implicated in the Panama Papers. He was reluctant to resign as prime minister and fully intended to stay as the leader of the party, until the party chose to boot him and replace him with current Progressive leader Sigurður Ingi Jóhannsson; Sigmundur Davíð went off to form his own party instead, the Center Party, and took the populist arm of the Progressive Party with him. They're where most of the anti-immigration and anti-LGBTQ vote goes, and along with the People's Party, some of their MPs were implicated in "Klausturgate", a scandal where a disabled woman at a bar overheard and discreetly recorded several MPs (including Sigmundur Davíð) who were drinking together while making a variety of sexist, homophobic and ableist comments about named people including members of their own parties. The Center Party was perfectly happy to keep them on board, which really says all you need to know.

I am unendingly disappointed that the Center Party managed to scrape past the 5% threshold to get parliamentary seats this election; for a glorious moment the early numbers looked like they wouldn't. Last election they managed to get seven MPs, and then the two guys from the People's Party involved in Klausturgate joined up with the Center Party too, giving them nine, so seeing them reduced to almost nothing was still deeply pleasing.

Viðreisn (The Reform Party)

A center-right party that split off from the Independence Party in 2016, largely over the latter's opposition to the EU, while the Reform Party supports EU membership, but also because of the endless scandals, cronyism, etc. The Reform Party instead claim to be proponents of "ethical capitalism" and have so far avoided the major scandals and general douchebaggery of their parent party.

Flokkur fólksins (The People's Party)

A populist party with a primary emphasis on eradicating poverty, especially for the elderly and disabled, letting the nation reap the benefits of our fish instead of the few large fishing companies, funding health care to reduce wait times, and so on. All this is lovely in theory, but unfortunately their rhetoric then goes off into pitting the poor/elderly/disabled against immigrants, Muslims, etc. Chairperson Inga Sæland seems totally well-meaning to me off what I've seen of her (disclaimer: have not actually seen that much), but it also contains less savoury people and sentiments, as seen by two of their MPs being part of the aforementioned Klausturgate. To the party's credit, they did expel those guys, but it's not the only example of the party attracting questionable people.

Sósíalistaflokkur Íslands (The Icelandic Socialist Party)

A hardline democratic socialist party founded in 2017, with this as their first parliamentary election. It looked like they would get MPs in polls, but in the end they didn't. They're led by Gunnar Smári Egilsson, one of the original founders of free newspaper Fréttablaðið, and have a much more radical left rhetoric going on than the other lefty parties, focusing on economic equality, housing, free health care, and a shorter work week. They made some pretty controversial remarks campaigning for this election, such as suggesting replacing all the judges of the Supreme Court if they won't agree to changing the fishing quota system (the argument being that the Independence Party appointed all the judges in an organized bid to maintain the current system), but who knows if that dampened their following or something else. They also want to ratify the new constitution.

[historic-old-guard-lover]

What would be some hobbies of the old guards ?

People have been having fun for centuries, only limited by their surroundings. Of course, a life of travelling to fight in wars is not very conducive to collecting belongings, so I like to think that the oldest members had less material-dependent hobbies. In the way that the younger members all seem to like reading to some extent, I think the older members loved singing and reciting epics, especially if they were involved in them. Besides these, I’ve gone and given them a “personality” and matched up three relatively correctly-aged activities that they might have picked up when they were younger.

Lykon aka the Practical Hobbyist: wrestling (which we know goes back 15,000 years) especially with Quynh who taught him northern Vietnamese styles called vật cổ truyền, clay sculpting (an old and respectable art, can be for useful things), and blade-smithing (making and repairing their own weapons was important because pre-Iron and early Iron was prone to damage)

Bonus: board games simply because of how novel they must have been ~3,000 years into life (the earliest we’ve found was from ~3100 BCE) and why not pick up the games of Senet and Mehen from Ancient Egypt?

Andy aka the Adrenaline Junky: horseback racing and eventually chariot racing (which is famous for being bloody) because horse domestication was incredibly important to the steppe nomads, free-hand mountain climbing because she loves the views, and eventually got into fishermen’s jousting aka water jousting (which is what it sounds like: knock your opponent into the water) in Ancient Egypt (where people usually drowned or were maimed by crocodiles/hippos)

Bonus: Knattleikr, an all-day full-contact ball game invented by the Icelandic Vikings which involved hitting a heavy ball with a stick (or your hands), which she’s really sad that no one knows how to play anymore

Quynh aka the Eclectic: sailing (she can make a mean thung-chai or coracale ten different ways) which was crucial in southern modern-day Vietnam, falconry that she picked up in ancient Mesopotamia (~2000 BCE) because it was cool, and what we now would call gymnastics when the Guard traveled in Ancient Greece (and then later the Roman Empire) at first as a battle skill but then later for fun

Bonus: woomera/atlatl or spear-throwing, which she could have picked up from the First-Nations Australians (aside: “aborigines” is disfavored by the indegenous groups because of the colonial implications) or various Central American indigenous groups because bows and arrows are cool but atlatl/hul'che/woomera were both faster and traveled farther

Nicky aka the Monastic Lifestyle Lover: gardening and animal-husbandry because “his heart overflows with kindness” = takes care of baby animals, debating philosophy especially with the Love of His Life and especially if he can read (boy is he in for a surprise with the libraries of the Islamic Golden Age), and leather-crafting that starts as a chore and grows into an artistic passion (he made Andy’s arm braces)

Bonus: he’s been working on his poetry after a few centuries of Joe wooing him with his skills (he’s not great at it, but Joe loves it)

Joe aka the Artist: traditional Islamic arts of poetry, calligraphy, and painting/sketching, picked up goldsmithing (which is actually any precious metal) at some point to make wedding bands but found out he really loved it, fell in love with performing arts (mostly theater) at some point and may or may not have been cast as Othello in one of the first performances

Bonus: wrestling (did you see that bear hug at the beginning of the film?) which reminds Andy and Quynh of Lykon who loved it just as much so they encourage it all the time

Booker aka the Insecure Eclectic: reading and collecting antique books especially if they’re older than him (age inadequacy issues amiright?), playing around with explosives especially once dynamite gets invented (1867) and he doesn’t have to worry about setting his clothes on fire with gunpowder, using and collecting “modern technology” like owning one of the first light-bulbs or telephones which everyone else kinda laughs at but Nile thinks is very cool

Bonus: he made the other three teach him the basics of archery and sword-fighting for the novelty but found out that he LOVES Andy’s labrys when he gets the opportunity (though axe-throwing is a good second choice)

Nile aka the Millenial: making playlists for every mood and occasion (she has one for each the others that she puts on when she misses one of them when they split up), video games which she starts collecting once she realizes that it’s going to be difficult to find an x-box or wii in 200 years, and one-on-one pick-up basketball which reminds her of growing up with her brother

Bonus: once she’s come to terms with what it means to be immortal, she decides to pick up fire performing because it both awed and terrified her when she was mortal (and Booker is a bad influence with explosives)...Nicky is still mad about what she did to the garden at the Malta safehouse when she was still learning

[goldenchocobo]

Dark Road Character’s Daemons

While these characters are still very new, and most don’t get their own scene or dialogue, I’ve tried my best to give them Daemons on the interpretation of their names and references to their ancient Nordic connections. However, due to their newness and having very little time to develop, I don’t think I’ll be including the ‘personality’ portion of the analysis. Most of these daemons are simply based on their name alone and what connections I could gather from other ancient Nordic references I could find, with the exception of Vor, who’s Daemon I based on the fan-interpretation instead. I’ve also included Master Odin- because well, his animal connections are strong, considering the real-life equivalent had two ravens, and turned himself into various birds.

I added Xehanort and Eraqus into the mix here, their analysis can be read HERE. I did change up their Daemon designs a bit from my other piece with their younger versions; making their Daemons look much younger and more ‘innocent’ than before. 

All analysis are under the Keep Read along with a short theory about Dark Road’s story.

Master Odin

Settled: Raven Daemon Name: Hugin Looks: A dark grey bird that has one blind eye. Symbolism:Ravens are the Norse God, Odin’s patron animal, and represent his all seeing, all knowing eyes. He is also sometimes called the ‘Raven god’ due to his associations with the birds. Hugin is the name of one of Odin’s personal ‘spirit’ ravens, who flies around the entire world in the morning and relays what they've seen to Odin by midday. Hugin’s name is often associated with just the word ‘raven’ but the name Hugin also comes from Hugr, meaning ‘thought’.

--

Vör

Settled: Grasshopper Mouse Daemon Name: Viska Looks: A small mouse with dirty-blonde fur and white unders. His eyes are large and his teeth sharp. Symbolism: I chose a Grasshopper mouse for Vör for simple meme sake. In the community, Vör has the reputation for having an ‘innocent look but will actually kill you’ kind of image. Grasshopper mice look small and unassuming, but they actually eat scorpions and ‘howl’ like a wolf. Viska is Icelandic for Wisdom, as Vör is a Norse goddess of wisdom (possibly wisdom of or for women).

--

Hermod

Settled: European Squirrel Daemon Name: Rata Looks: A grey-toned squirrel with an almost blue sheen to her. Symbology: Hermod was the one to ride Odin’s horse, Sleipnir into the underworld to ask for Baldr back from Hel. And as such was a minor messenger for the Aesir gods. The squirrel Ratatoskr delivers messages and insults between the eagle that roosts atop Yggdrasil, the world tree- and Nidhogg, the Serpent that gnaws the roots of Yggdrasil. Rata is the first half of the name of the squirrel that can be interpreted as ‘Traveler’.

--

Bragi

Settled: Red Kite Daemon Name: Vedrfolnir Looks: A ruddy-orange hawkish bird with a silver head. Symbology: There isn’t honestly much I can link between Bragi and his Daemon. He’s one I struggled with the most if I’m honest. But Bragi is the word for a type poet or name of a poet, and Vedrfolnir is a hawk that is perched between the eyes of the Eagle that rests atop Yggdrasil described in the Prose Edda and Poetic Edda.

--

Urd

Settled: European Garden Spider Daemon Name: Könguló Looks: Orange with silver markings Symbology: Urd is the fate of the future, and one of three fates that stand beside the well at the base of Yggdrasil. They are all known to spin thread to determine the lifespan of Mortals. Spiders are known for spinning exceptionally durable thread and weaving it into elaborate webs, symbolising the connection we have to one another. Könguló is Icelandic for ‘spider’.

--

Baldr

Settled: Swedish Flower Hen Daemon Name: Hel Looks: A mostly white hen with a silvery cape, a muted red comb and wattle and a white tail. Symbology: Chickens are often said to be cowardly, fearful creatures- but those who say that have never met a broody hen protecting her young- who will fight to the death, screaming bloody murder all the way.

Badlr is a beloved god said to give off radiant light- Roosters are often symbols of the sun and fire due to their penchant to calling as the sun rises. However, Balr is also a minor war god, often associated with the willingness to fight. Fighting roosters are still unfortunately a thing, and as said above, hens can also be vicious. Hel is the goddess of the underworld, and the name of it too. When Baldr was killed by Loki, Hermod Traveled to Hel and asked her to give him back to the world of the living, but she only would do so if all things wept for Baldr. They all did- apart from Loki, so Hel kept Baldr.

--

Notes:

These analyses were pretty hard for me, but I enjoy reading and learning about Norse mythology. I used Icelandic words for names instead of current Norwegian or Swedish words because Icelandic is the closest we have in modern times to Ancient Norse.

Learning that there was a character called Baldr- I think I know where this story is going. Baldr is going to be killed/struck down- and I suspect it’s going to be Xehanort doing it. As it’s Baldr- A Norse god so beloved he’s said to give off radiant light, killed by Loki that brought upon the beginnings of Ragnarok. How Xehanort will do it, willingly or not, I don’t know, but the story of Dark Road is still new, and there’s lots of possibilities.

[inhibited-irregularity]

EUROVISION 2021, personal favorites:

- Russia 🇷🇺

Manizha, Russian Woman: Absolute favorite. The sheer originality of the song! Her energy and the level of absolute badassery! She can sing, she can rap,and she's a bomb of energy. The way reggae and brass and hiphop and Slavic melodies overlap and it somehow works, the transitions between fun and "I'm bitter about the sexism and I'm mocking it unapologetically and making a stand" and the anthemic, emphatic and powerful message to Russian women; I was swelling with emotion while watching her. While to an American or a Westerner it may seem like performative feminism, I'm gonna remind you that in Russia and other Slavic countries that's very much not a thing and actually a very unpopular stand to make, and in Russia, The Balkans, and Eastern Europe in general, hundreds of women face domestic and sexual abuse on the daily, and those who do come forward rarely get support and are mostly dismissed. Let's not forget that Manizha got a huge backlash from the Russian government officials, and a big part of it was for her Tajik roots. The honesty of her message is real, and she's speaking from personal experience and the experience of women around her - nothing performative about her song, and you can tell from her delivery that the fire within her is true and she leaves her heart on the stage and pours it into the song. The staging and costumes are great as well, and symbolically well thougt-through. I would really like her to win, or at least get to the top 5. Most of all, I hope her message is heard and felt. 10000/10

- Italy 🇮🇹

Måneskin, Zitti e Buoni: definitely the closest thing to my actual music taste this year, so liking them off the bat wasn't a surprise. However, they're not just your regular Franz-Ferdinand-ish young alt rock band that wants to do rock "properly" - they have IT. The X factor, the Je ne sais quoi. I've been exposed to that particular genre, and I can confidently say that the song still manages to be refreshing and original (that bridge, those riffs!) The band has a great energy and no matter how much Damiano steals the show, they are still a unit and nobody is left in the shadows. They have the spirit of great rock bands of the previous century, and yet they don't try to copy anyone (khm,Greta Van Fleet, khm). Damiano's vocals are both powerful, seductive and provoking, and I'm still admiring the sheer amount of emotion he can pack into a single line and the nuance and yet rawness behind it. I'm not gonna state the obvious lol (the obvious being yes, I'm thirsty as well, he becomes yet another unattainable rockstar for me too,and yes they all look great) Anyway, great song, and maybe the clearest and most serious candidate for the number one spot, taking both the jury and the public into consideration. 10/10

- Iceland 🇮🇸

Daði Freyr and Gagnamagnið, 10 years:

What can I say about this masterpiece that hasn't already been said? A clear fan-favorite (hi, Valentina), but with the guns to back it up. The song is contagious, fun and campy, and unlike some other songs with said qualities, actually good from a musical perspective. Daði is incredibly charismatic and his sense of humor shines through, and even though he's the star of the show, the same can be said about the other band members. The synergy Måneskin has can be applied to Gagnamagnið as well, even though the energy is entirely different. They're serving us fun, sunshine, kitties rainbows sugar spice and everything nice, and manage to do it with zero cringe factor (plus those funky keytars). I'm one of those Eurovision fans that lament the golden age's (2004-2009) campiness (We'll never forget you, Verka), and Daði managed to bring it back, but modernised, polished and still sincere. I personally preferred the epic dad joke that slightly more commercial Think About Thing was (but that's one tough act to follow), but I'm always down for a husband adoring his wife and singing praises to their relationship. Since we're on tumblr, I feel obliged to use the term "cinnamon rolls" in describing Daði and the band. 9.5/10

- France 🇫🇷

Barbara Pravi, Voilà: She brought the theatrics, she brought the drama, and she brought the 101 in "that's how you perform". Her personality leaps through, and her voice is both beautiful and full of emotion and power. I'd hire her to star in a serious and artistic movie. Despite the fact that Voilà is from its melody to the singing style to the video to the vibe and the aesthetic hands down the most French thing I've seen since Amélie (do not come for that movie), it miraculously doesn't come across as a cliché, but rather an homage, and an individualistic one at that. It's not entirely my cup of tea, since I'm usually biased to songs that may come off as snobbish (I mean, the jury is going to lap it up), and are all about being proper and technical and oh how ~artistic~, but Barbara puts the soul into the immaculate. I'm not giving her the highest mark because I'm yet to see the performance, but I'm rooting for her. If she delivers the performance, we might have a clear winner. 9/10

- Ukraine 🇺🇦

Go_A, Shum: I'm a sucker for all things ethnic and mytological, so this was a no-brainer. I want that song played at every party. I want to go to the forest in the video and chant and summon the spring with flute and hard-bass. Kateryna Pavlenko has some unexplainable power over me, and her eyes are simply hypnotizing. The vocals are great, proper Slavic ethno right there (seriously, check out Slavic folklore and traditional music), and she has a subtle punk quality too(?). Ukraine came to save the spring and make us forget about the pandemic, and minus the Maruv fiasco (justice for her!), they always deliver and I expected nothing less. On the other hand, I loved the original version much more and couldn't help but be a bit disappointed with the revamp (yes, I know they had to), and while I personally love Shum, I think some other acts are more deserving of the higher placement. Go_A are not my winner, but definitely soon to be in my playlist. 8/10

- San Marino 🇸🇲

Adrenalina, Senhit ft. Flo Rida: You know that golden age of Eurovision I mentioned? THIS. I'm Serbian, so I can't resist a banger reminiscent of our horrible turbo-folk elements (and I say that endearingly,takes me back to 18th birthday parties (boy I'm glad that's over)). Let's just crown Senhit this year's Queen of Camp. The wild factor of Flo Rida...just?? Amazing. Can't wait to see how the performance goes (EDIT- it went great, I had a grin on my face the entire time and couldn't help but dance along). A certain refreshment after Serhat and Valentina Monetta endless loop. They didn't dial down the weird, but made it catchy af, and the vocal can rival any Balkan folk diva. While I think it's definitely the most entertaining entry this year, it's far from being the most original, and it's not really my genre of preference. Will vote for Senhit and root for her to qualify. 7.5/ 10

- Sweden 🇸🇪

Tusse, A million voices: As I mentioned before, I'm the first person that starts complaining about Sweden Superiority as soon as Eurovision season begins, and I'm with you all with being tired of Sweden qualifying just because they're Sweden and usually just bringing the same brand of MTV/Calvin Harris/American pop, or a successful and not-so-subtle imitation of the performances that did well the previous year,but listen: A million voices is a solid pop song and I'm going to die on that hill. It actually embodies the essence of pop - a catchy, pleasant melody sung by a good vocalist, with a short,sweet and uplifting message. It's not the same as previous years, it's not commercial, just good pop - good pop being something you immediately like and vibe to no matter how many common elements of the genre it checks. It relies on RnB rather than electronic sounds, auto tune or various DJ effects. Tusse is charming and charismatic af, and he's a 19yo kid doing an amazing job on a global stage. You don't have to like it, but there's no need to hate on it (ask Jendrik). Imo, Tusse deserved to qualify. Not winner material yet, but I wish him a fun time and a successful career. 7 5/10

- Switzerland 🇨🇭

G'jons Tears, Tout L'Univers: I saw the video first, and I HATED IT. It came across as a Duncan Lawrence-high-art wannabe, something technically perfect, but empty of soul or meaning, another soft boy with a sad falsetto, another jury-points bait. BUT. I changed my mind entirely after seeing him perform. Hands down, it was touching and epic. Reminding me of Hamlet aside, he DELIVERED, and made me love him, and actually enjoy the song. I still think the song is less original than Tusse's voices, but I enjoy the troubadour vibes of the pre-chours. G'jon is absolutely adorable, and I'm not gonna be mad if he wins. 8/10

shout-outs&honorable mentions:

- Serbia 🇷🇸 Yes, some national bias, but I'm proud of our girls. Ever Since we placed 2nd with Željko's Lane, we had that goddamn flute e v e r y year, and the same outdated scenography with a side of extra pathos (I'm sure that ruined Sanja's chances and her otherwise great performance back in 2016.) Finally something fun and actually representative of the music popular here. They looked flawless and the energy was off the charts. Go, Hurricane!

-Finland 🇫🇮 Yes, cheesy and corny and I cut my finger accidentally from watching the video on all the edge, but I'm biased because they're bringing emo and nu-metal back, and that's the music of my early adolescence (hello, Kaulitz brothers and Andy Biersack,hello Gerard Way and Linkin Park) Call me grandma lol

- Malta 🇲🇹 DESTINY CAN SIIIIIIIIING! I wasn't impressed with the song initially, but the performance blew my mind.

- Ireland 🇮🇪 A for effort, and so nice of her to try and give us something unique! While it wasn't good enough to qualify, it was super fun and she seems so nice. Also, we all know that she was out of breath an can sing much better than that. Still wasn't bad.

- Romania 🇷🇴, for being so young and brave enough to put on a show. The nerves got the better of her, but the song itself is good and no doubt she'll do well in the future

- Lithuania 🇱🇹, thanks for the memeries

- Croatia 🇭🇷, Not my cup of tea, but Albina gave a great performance

-Norway 🇳🇴, for embodying the spirit of Eurovision

- North Macedonia 🇲🇰, for the disco chest

- The UK 🇬🇧, for putting some effort

(Might edit later)

[adapembroke]

Icelandic Sagas and Norse Culture: A Conversation with Jared Juckiewicz

There are some people who are so interesting and knowledgeable about a fascinating subject that I wish it was culturally acceptable to hand them a lectern and microphone in social settings and ask them to give an impromptu lecture. My friend Jared Juckiewicz is one of those people.

Jared’s knowledge of Norse history and culture is legendary in our circle, and it was a privilege to have the opportunity to chat with him about the Icelandic Sagas, Jared's class on the Sagas for Nameless Academy, and why you shouldn't carry a magical banner with a raven on it into battle if you value your life.

Ada: For those who are new to the subject, what are the Sagas? 

Jared: So Merriam-Webster defines a saga as “a prose narrative recorded in Iceland in the 12th and 13th centuries of historic or legendary figures and events of the heroic age of Norway and Iceland” which is actually bang on for my definition of the historical Icelandic sagas. (I’d class things like Beowulf and the Nibelungenlied as sagas as well, but epic sagas rather than historical ones.) Most of them are attributed to one writer, an Icelandic gentleman by the name of Snorri Sturlisson, who took advantage of his position in the Icelandic Diocese to record as much of Iceland’s Oral History as he could. Each one is basically the history of one of the important families in Iceland at the time, typically going back a generation or two or three before the settlement of Iceland.   

Ada: I’m surprised that the dictionary defines “saga” as Icelandic specifically. I always thought “saga” was a synonym for “very long poem.” I’m learning something already! 

Was there something about the settlement of Iceland that inspired the Icelanders to write down all of these stories, or is it more that more of the oral tradition survived than it otherwise would have because of Snorri? 

Jared: I mean, I would definitely quibble with the definition being specific to Iceland myself. But then again, I don’t work for Merriam-Webster, so you know. Not my say.

So, it’s definitely a case that more of the oral tradition survived thanks to Snorri than it otherwise would have. Admittedly, he did impart a lot of his biases to them, given that he was Christian, in fact being heavily involved in Iceland’s organised Church, and a lot of his subject matter predates the Christianisation of Iceland. But it’s less of an issue in the historical sagas than in things like the Eddas. I suspect a part of his motivation is that the 13th Century was around the time we start to see the emergence of true national identities in northern europe, and a recorded history tends to be a large part of those. 

Ada: What sorts of challenges do readers have to be aware of accounting for Snorri’s biases, and why are those biases less of an issue with the sagas?

Jared: So the sagas are more of a historical account than the Eddas, which are a record of the icelandic forms of Norse myth. Being a historical account, there’s less room for interpretation, whereas most scholars agree that Snorris Eddas were revised, by him, to make them more palatable to the Church. So when reading the Eddas, it helps to be aware that the person recording them was a Christian, had been raised Christian, and so had certain views regarding morality and cosmology that may have (Read almost certainly did) differ significantly from how the Norse viewed things. Less of an issue with the historical sagas because history is less open to interpretation. His biases may have coloured his description of people’s motivations, but the events are likely accurate, as are the depictions of things like cultural mores and the like. 

Ada: What is your story with the sagas? How did you get interested, and what fascinates you about them?

Jared: So, I’ve always had a bit of a fascination with history. When I was at University, a friend dragged me along to a meeting of what became our local Historical Reenactment Society by dint of showing up to class with a wooden shield on his arm and a wooden sword in his belt. 

Ada: Best. Marketing. Ever.

Jared: I was hooked. Still am. Anyway, I’m like, 5’7” and am lucky if I weigh more than 120lbs. To be effective on the field of battle, I have to go for a mix of speed, savagery and complete disregard for my own personal safety. Four years of getting referred to as ‘The littlest Berserker that could’ lead to finding out everything I could about said Berserkers, which lead to the Icelandic sagas. They’re great stories. Dry reads, cause, you know, the 13th Century wasn’t known for popular fiction. But they’re very… human. Stories. Like you read them and it’s like “I can understand why that person would respond that way.” The culture is at enough of a remove that it feels fantastical, but because we’re talking about real people, and their emotions and their triumphs and their failings, it’s easy to emphasize with them, I find. 

Ada: How did you get from berserkers to the sagas?

Jared: There are a number of sagas where major characters are berserkers, or berserkers are mentioned. Viga-Glums Saga mentions a Berserker who made a living challenging farmers to Holmgangr (a sort of duel where the victor took the losers property. Given they were generally to the death, the loser didn’t tend to object). The eponymous Egil Skallagrimsson is also described as being a Berserker in some translations. As well as a Skald (poet), Sorceror, and what passed for Nobility in his period of Iceland. Part of it is also a dearth of other sources. You have some mention in the Anglo-Saxon chronicle and in similar Scots and Irish records from the time, but they mostly complain about the Norse being evil pagans come to destroy the Christians (When they aren’t complaining that the Vikings only bathe so they can get laid). There’s Adam of Bremen, but he didn’t talk much about the military side of things, which is where berserkers come in, and there’s Ibn Fadhlan, but until recently translations of his manuscripts were a bugger to get a hold of. 

Ada: What is it about the sagas that feels fantastical to you?

Jared: Everything is so much… MORE. If that makes sense? Like, there’s an account of a trial in Njall’s Saga where the defense witness perjures himself by libeling one of the victims, and the prosecuting attorney (Who happened to be related to said victim. No conflict of interest, it’s how things were done at the time) responded by impaling the witness, fatally, with a spear throw. And got away with it. They solve their disputes, when talk fails, with broadswords and battle axes. 

Ada: It’s like they actually do the things we’re all imagining doing when someone does something that’s completely out of line.

Jared: Certainly the things I imagine doing.  Although, I now realise I could explain it easier. Tolkien was a scholar of the Norse Sagas, and drew heavily on some of Snorri’s other works (particularly the Eddas) for the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. So part of why they feel fantastical is that the definitive work for High Fantasy is based on them. 

Ada: Other than weapons, what Tolkienesque things can readers find in the sagas?

Jared: So the sagas are maybe less of an influence on his works than the Eddas, but he drew heavily on the mythology, and there are bits where that crops up in the sagas. There are also references to things like rune-carving as a means of casting spells, and at least one instance of a magic banner. Bear in mind that this was back when magic was an accepted fact of life (in fact at the time, the Catholic Church was heavily involved in magical research. There are guides on things like alchemy and necromancy and rune magic that were written in monasteries at the time). Poetry, I suppose. The Norse were big on poetry. 

Ada: I would love to dive into the intersection between history and mythology with you, but I’ll restrain myself. What’s an example of the intersection of history and myth in the sagas?

Jared: The above mentioned magic banner, actually. It crops up in Njall’s Saga and the Orkneyinga Saga, and belonged to the Jarl of Orkney. Jarl Sigurd of Orkney, to be precise. It was a Raven Banner, sewn by his mother, who was reputed to be a Volva, which was a Norse term for a female magic practitioner, particularly one who practiced fibre magics. It was, reputedly, enchanted to draw the attention of Odin and his aid, and whatever army carried it into battle would have victory, but the bearer of the banner would be slain. Well, the Battle of Clontarf in 1014 was particularly hard fought, and after he’d gone through several standard-bearers, none of Sigurd’s companions was willing to pick it up. He informed them that by spurning Odin’s gift, the battle was lost, tied it round his waist like a belt, and led his final charge. Sigurd’s side lost the battle, and the few of his immediate companions were hunted down shortly thereafter by Kari Solmundsson (admittedly for unrelated reasons).

Ada: One of the reasons I wanted to have this conversation with you is because you are going to be teaching a class on the sagas at the Nameless Academy in February. 

I’m really excited to have the chance to sit in on your class because you are a person who I regularly want to hand a lectern and microphone because you have so much knowledge and so many stories.

What is this class, and what will you be teaching?

Jared: So the class is called Íslendingasögur 101: Norse Polytheism and Medieval Culture in Icelandic Sagas.It’s a mouthful I know. Really, it’s just an introduction to pre-Christian Iceland. There’s a lot of misinformation floating about regarding the Norse. I’m not going to name any names. *Cough* Wagner *Cough* Victorian England *Cough* 

Ahem. Don’t worry, it’s not Covid, I promise. 

But no, there’s a lot of misinformation about the Norse out there, and it’s only in the past five or six decades that we’ve started to undo that. The thing is, the corrections started in Academia, and it took three or four decades before accurate information began to be easily available to the general public. So while we’re doing away with the popular image in peoples heads of the ravening barbarian with the horned helmet, it’s slow going. 

I’m hoping in future semesters to do guided self-study of some of the Icelandic studies, but because I do not want to spend all my time correcting common misconceptions, I decided to teach this first, so that anyone looking into the sagas themselves, either under the aegis of the Nameless Academy, or by themselves, is doing so with at least a basic understanding of the culture those sagas concern. 

Ada: Other than the horned helmet ridiculousness, what is a common misconception that tends to trip up newbies to the sagas?

Law. The Norse had the greatest respect for their Laws, even if they didn’t always follow them. Because of how sparsely settled Iceland was, and given the lack of urbanisation, they didn’t have permanent courthouses like you find nowadays. Instead they all met up at regular intervals at what was known as a ‘Thing’. No that is not a typo, it was actually called a Thing. The big one in Iceland was held at Thingvellir or “Place of the Thing”. “Field of the Thing”? I do not (yet) speak Old Norse and I’ve seen multiple translations. It was sort of a combination of court and county fair, that was opened by a member of the community, the Lawspeaker, reciting a portion of the legal code to all assembled. It was a great honour to be chosen as the Lawspeaker, even if it also meant moderating all the suits. 

One of the most famous Sagas (and my personal favourite) actually focuses heavily on the Laws and Legal matters. In fact, more attention is paid in most sagas to legal nitty-gritty than to pitched battles. 

Ada: Other than an interest in history, why might people want to take your class?

Jared: Perspective. People don’t change, even if the places and laws and the cultures do. It’s also a conversation piece. I mean, you can back me up on this. I can relate almost anything to the Sagas.

Ada: That is absolutely true. I feel sometimes when you're talking like they're stories that are happening now.

If people wanted to read the Sagas, where do you suggest they start?

Jared: So, if you prefer Dead Tree Editions, most of my hardcopies were released by either Penguin Classics or Oxford University Press. They tend to be older translations, but still very good, and I’ve never had a problem finding them at good second-hand bookstores or my local library. Well. Never had a major problem. And in this time of Covid, if you don’t want to go out or have someone bring a copy to your door. 13th Century is pretty much Public Domain now, so there are a few of the sagas available as ebooks through Project Gutenberg. Alternately, there’s an Icelandic Non-Profit that hosts a website, sagadb.org which hosts all the extant Icelandic sagas in a variety of languages and formats (although not all of them are available in English). If I do manage to lead some guided self-study it’s likely to be the SagaDB translations I use. Amongst other things, they’re free. 

Ada: Thank you so much for talking with me, Jared. 

How can people who are interested in learning more about you and your class find you?

Jared: So I’m on Tumblr. At present I’m A-Krogan-Skald-And-Bearsark, and if that changes, only the article and the first identifier will change. Admittedly, I don’t curate my Tumblr AT ALL. So there’s a bit of everything on it. 

I’m also on Discord, and you can reach me there on the Nameless Academy server as Jared, or on Polytheists or Diviners Anonymous as JehanCriec. Mind you, my internet access can be sporadic, so if you don’t hear back from me right away, don’t take it as a slight, I’m just on a boat and will respond as soon as I get a chance. 

[purplesurveys]

1239

survey by allwrongx

Is there anything purple nearby? A lot of my merch have purple details/designs on them, because obviously. From where I’m sitting, I can see my McDonald’s BTS Meal packaging, which are mostly purple, that I keep in my room as a souvenir.

Do you usually leave voicemails on other people's machines? I don’t do voicemail; I’m not sure we have that here.

Do you know somebody whose Christmas lights stay up all year round? No? What a waste of electricity and money.

Do you always shut your computer down when you're finished with it? I haven’t shut down my laptop in months (probably even years) and this question just made me realize that lmao. When I’m done with my work I just fold it shut. 

Are most of the pens around your house from random companies or plain? They’re mostly plain pens, though we may have one or two company pens lying around.

Do you dread filling out the about you box on most websites?  I usually ignore those now, but when I was around 10 or 11 they were actually my favorite thing to fill out since I liked having the opportunity to share about my interests. About me boxes were the predecessors to my survey-taking habit, I guess? Hahahahaha.

Do you prefer the Code Red Mountain Dew to the Orange kind? I don’t drink Mountain Dew.

Sixteen Candles or Pretty In Pink? I actually haven’t watched either. I’ve always meant to; I even downloaded these onto my hard drive YEARS ago...I just never got around to it lol.

Do you want to have a big family in the future? No. I would be okay with one or two kids.

Do you get embarrassed when talking about things like sex and periods? No.

Are there any towels in your house with cartoon characters on them? I don’t think so, but the dogs’ towel does have a Superman hood and logo on it.

Do the half sheet paper towels annoy you? No.

Ever been in a mosh pit? Not really. 

What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush? Probably watching JK’s live a few days ago? I couldn’t sleep for an hour after that and was just feeling really happy and giddy the whole time.

Is Vegas one of your must-see places? No.

Pet rat; Yay or Nay? Nay.

If given the chance, would you ride a unicorn to Iceland? Sure, whatever.

Have you ever washed a cat in your bathtub? No.

Ever seen the movie Max Keeble's Big Move? Opinions? I haven’t.

Would you call yourself a writer? Written any stories lately? Yeah, I write. I don’t focus on stories though; I found out early on I don’t have a very good handle of fiction.

Do you think that the iPad sounds like a foreigner trying to say iPod? That’s so annoyingly racist.

Did that last thing make you laugh? - Probably not. - Whatever.

Are you good at reading people's body language? To an extent. But yeah, my hunch is usually correct, especially if what I’m reading is a negative mood lol. I guess I’m oversensitive to this because my mom usually came home from work in a bad mood when I was a kid, and it continues to this day.

Do you feel obligated to feel bad for people who are crying? Erm, not obligated. I just automatically feel bad and will sometimes not really know how to handle the situation, especially if I’m not close with the person.

Ever ask a random stranger to pretend to be someone for you? I don’t think so. I’m not sure if I can be bold enough to come up to a stranger and pitch something like this to them, either.

Ever threatened somebody and actually went through with it? Yeah, I’ve removed names from a group project after warning that I wouldn’t hesitate to do it if certain people continued to not help.

Does holding newborn babies scare you? Yeah, I’ve always refused to do it. I feel like I would drop them.

Are needles something that you're afraid of? Very much so.

Piercings, Yay or Nay? I don’t mind them as long as it’s not excessive.

Have you ever been prescribed medication? I mean yeah, for flus and stuff.

Do you have a collage of pictures in your bedroom? I have a mini collage of OT7 photos on my corkboard.

Are Mac computers a bit frustrating? Not really; I’m partial to Apple products.

Ever consider a career in photography? As a teenager when DSLRs were all the rage. My sister proved to be a lot more capable than I am, though, so much so that I ended up passing on my camera to her.

Are your friends a different breed? (: I don’t really use that term but yeah, they’re great.

Excited for the new Alice In Wonderland movie? Too creepy looking? I’m not really into that genre.

Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? I’m not sure I have one.

Does either of your parents watch Judge Judy? Nope.

What colour does the button on your computer glow? I’m not sure what you mean, but the backlight on my keys are white.

Did you ever have those glow in the dark stars on your ceiling? I have one set of cousins who did, and it always excited me when we had the chance to sleep over because it meant I got to see those glow in the dark stars.

Do you have a Friday night routine? Kinda, as lazy as it is – I usually use it as my time to catch up on surveys; watch several episodes of Run BTS; and pick long-form BTS content to watch, whether it’s one of their docu-series or one of their other shows like Bon Voyage. If I have extra money to spend I’ll also order in a comfort food of mine, usually either sushi or burgers.

Do you kind of have to pee right now? Nope.

Does bad grammar in surveys annoy you at all? Annoying questions annoy me more than anything. I don’t really mind a grammatical error or two; I just end up correcting them.

For projects do you prefer using glue or tape? Tape, so that it’s more stable.

[halfway-happyyy]

It’ll All Work Out

AN: Been a while! Got inspired to write this piece as I am currently stuck working through this mess, while my partner stays home to social distance. Hope everyone is staying safe out there! All of the fluffiness and feels.

Word count: 1499 

This was never going to be simple.

You knew it from the moment he sidled in next to you at that quaint bar somewhere downtown. All of his impossibly warm skin, a cracked leather jacket, the distinguished Swedish lilt. You were good at avoiding eye contact; it was a trait you had picked up in younger years and never fully let go of. Yet you yearned to stare at him- you ached to watch the way the feint wrinkles next to his eyes grew deeper when he smiled, the way his cheeks grew pink under the influence of dark ale and even darker lights. You’re pretty sure you knew that night that you loved him. You knew because he asked you to dance with him and you said yes without missing a beat. You wandered fearlessly into his open arms and swayed with him to the live band a few feet away, oblivious to everything around you. No one had ever felt like home the way Alexander did. You were hard-pressed to believe anyone ever would again.

And then the earth made a full rotation around the sun, and the inevitable happened and he got on a plane and disappeared for four months.

You were surprised with yourself if you were being honest. Where a year ago, you never thought twice about the empty space next to you in bed, now it was all-consuming when the lights went out at night. An indent of where he used to sleep could still be found there, and quite frustratingly, you found yourself aching for him. It wasn’t just the physical aspect of his touch that you keened for, though you missed that very much as well, but it was the act of having someone take up the perfect amount of space in your life. You longed for the idle wine-induced arguments, early mornings perched on his lap at the kitchen table, pouring over coffee-stained scripts and even later evenings attending premiers in dresses you could never fathom wearing in your wildest dreams. You had watched your life intertwine with his in ways hard to explain, and yet you still let him board the plane to Iceland without telling him the truth.

You managed to miss the first phone call.

Somehow the frequency of the vibration had been a few octaves too low the first time and a second managed to rouse you from your slumber. You fumbled around in the dark for the phone next to your bed, wordlessly pressing the glowing green button before you had even worked out what to say. You scrubbed a palm down the length of your face to wake up. “Mmm, hullo?” You yawned sleepily into the darkness before you.

Alexander sighed heavily, the sound tinny and crackled through the connection of the wire. “Hi baby. I’m sorry to have woken you, but I’ve just gotten some bad news.” Your gaze travelled to the newspaper splayed haphazardly on your bedroom counter, the headline reading:

DEADLY VIRUS MAKING ITS ROUNDS IN THE NEW YORK CITY AREA

LOCKDOWN FOR RESIDENTS IMMINENT

You were pretty sure you had every idea what this was about, though you asked him to elaborate regardless. “They halted production on the film this morning and I’m currently in a car on my way to the airport.”

“When will you be home?”

Alexander hesitated before replying. “I’m supposed to land at JFK around 6:45 in the morning.”

“Alright well, I’ll pick you up-

“You can’t baby.”

You swallowed hard, your throat suddenly void of all moisture. “I can’t?”

Another beat. You could hear Alexander saying something to the driver on the other end. “I need to… self-isolate for fourteen days upon arrival.” He must have sensed the unease on your end because he cleared his throat and began again. “Just for precaution’s sake of course. I’m all good- I feel fine. We are all fine here on set but Bill is lending me his place in the city for the two weeks while he goes home to Sweden.”

And then it donned on you. “Why aren’t you going home too?”

Alexander murmured something else to the driver and you could make out the sound of a car door closing in the distance. “Well, you are my home.” The silence didn’t settle long before he informed you that he’d made it to the airport. “I’ll call you when I’m on solid ground, okay?”

You found yourself nodding into the growing light of your bedroom. “Wait! Alex?”

“Yeah baby?”

Your heart began to hammer wildly inside your chest. “Have a safe flight home.”

“Can’t believe I get to see your beautiful face in fourteen days.” Alexander faltered before the line went cold; you could almost feel the warmth from his smile all the way in New York City.

If any of the fourteen days were going to be anything like the first one, you figured you could probably get through this ordeal relatively unscathed. Alexander facetimed you for over two hours after getting settled into Bill’s apartment. He spoke at length of his time in Iceland, and how when this was all over, the two of you would road trip around the country for a few weeks before production picked back up again. You spoke until you noticed how jetlagged he was, and you hung up on the promise of another call again later in the evening.

Day seven was rough all around. Courses you’d been taking while Alexander was away, had been cancelled in person but were to continue up online a week later. Work had sent you home a few days prior and the feeling of being trapped in your own space, by yourself had become somewhat overwhelming. “I know times are scary and unpredictable right now... but we’re already halfway there baby.” Alexander mused quietly, a glass of wine wedged firmly within his grasp.

“Not soon enough,” You groaned.

“Just think,” Alexander smirked. “In seven days, I get to finally touch you after four months away…”

You rolled your eyes and unscrewed the cap of the half-empty wine bottle before you. “Do not start with me, Skarsgard.”

Alexander clicked his tongue teasingly. “Of course I’m going to start with you, and then after I do that, I’m going to finish with you.”

You could only imagine the things he had planned for you; the places his lips would touch, fingers would slip, tongue would graze. Your eyes fell shut as you gave yourself over to the thought, earning a hearty laugh from Alexander on the other end. “I’m hanging up on you now.”

Day thirteen had finally arrived. You had been occupied most of the day with work, so had not had a chance to speak with Alexander until the evening over dinner. He had made himself salmon and rice with a garlic dill aioli and you opted for Asian-chicken stir-fry, which you consumed mostly wordlessly. After dinner, you chose a vinyl record to put on (Ryan Adams) and set Alexander up so that he could watch you finish off the rest of the dishes. “That’s one thing I’ve really, strangely missed since I’ve been gone,” Alexander offered up after a while.

“Hmm?”

“Doing the dishes with you.”

Your eyes widened in surprise. “Dishes?”

He nodded his head, a small smile pulled at the edges of his lips. “Or anything really. Dishes, reading, bickering, making the bed.”

“Grocery shopping?” You quirked an eyebrow in amusement.

“Yes! My favourite Sunday’s with you are the ones where we wake up late, grab breakfast from Frankie down the block and grocery shop.”

“Frankie does make a mean egg’s benny,” You offered quietly.

Once you had finished up the task at hand, your fingers raw and red from the water they had been submerged in for over half an hour, you took Alexander to the bedroom while you got ready for bed. He wordlessly watched you free yourself from your clothing and slip into one of his old t shirts. “Guess what Alex?”

“What’s that baby?” He yawned.

“I get to see you in ten hours.”

Alexander beamed brightly at you, the sheer force of it caused you to smile back just as big. “How did I get so lucky, hmm?” A moment passed before he spoke again. “What’s the first thing you’re going to do tomorrow morning?”

“Well, I think I might just wrap my arms around you and never let you go.” You sidled down in bed and turned onto your side. “And you?”

Alexander took a deep breath and said, “The first thing I’m going to do tomorrow morning when I see you, is tell you how much I really do love you.”

Those last five words hung suspended in the void between the pair of you; he was six blocks away but if you closed your eyes real tight, you could almost feel him next to you. “Tomorrow morning I’ll say it back.”

This was never going to be simple.

But damn, it was going to be worth it.

[surveystodestressme]

262.

o1. With which one of your friends do you spend the most time? With which friend do you spend the least amount of time? Would you like to change this in any way?Before i moved i spent the most time with Claire or my mother tbh.  I definitely spent the least amount fo time with Mariann but she is still one of my best friends regardless of the amount of time we spend together.  I would’ve loved to spend more time with all of my friends.  Now i only spend time with my boyfriend because we moved across the country and we haven’t really made friends yet.

o2. What four states in the USA would you most like to visit? Which four countries would you most like to visit? States: Tennessee, South Dakota, Florida, Pennsylvania. Countries: Greenland, Iceland, Ireland, and Madagascar (idk if that one is a country or not tbh)

o3. If you have one, how often do you watch your favorite television show? How long has this show been your favorite? I don’t really have one right now.  I used to love Cops and i own all episodes of it so occ. i’ll put it on and watch it.  George Lopez is also a favorite of mine that i watch randomly.

o4. Would it bother you if your boyfriend hugged other females (think hypothetically if you don’t have one)? Why or why not? I mean yes and no.  I’m just a jealous mess lol.  I trust him so much so I would be comfortable knowing it is nothing more than a friendly hug but I can’t say I’d be stoked about it

o5. If you had snow-days as a kid, how did you spend them? Do you like the snow, in general? Probably playing video games or watching tv/movies.  i never really went outside when there were snow days because fuck snow lol it was too cold for that shit.  i don’t mind a bit of snow but for snow days it was usually over a foot of snow and that much snow just sucks

o6. Do you know anyone who does hard drugs? Would you ever befriend someone that did? Not that i know of.  I mean, i don’t actively seek friends with addictions but I wouldn’t necessarily say no to being friends with someone who had one.  I would try my best to get them the help they need

o7. When was the last time that you were afraid for your life? Did this incident change you in any way? I don’t know to be honest. 

o8. Do you enjoy taking pictures? Is it just for fun, or do you make an attempt at actual photography? I do like taking pictures.  I wanted to do photography when i was in high school.  I just do it for fun now i don’t actively try to do it for the actual photography

o9. Have you ever had low self-esteem? How is your self-esteem now? I have totally had low self esteem for most of my life actually.  I am much better.  I am not 100% by any means, there are still aspects of myself that i would like to work on but i definitely like myself a lot more and feel more comfortable with myself.

o1o. When you see someone sickly-thin, what is your first thought? I would probably think that they had an eating disorder because i have been there

o11. Do hospitals make you nervous? Why or why not? Do you have any bad hospital experiences? hospitals do make me nervous but i have not had a traumatic experience at one or anything i just dont like the thought of being in such bad shape that other have to take care of me idk

o12. What did you dress up as the last time you went Trick-or-Treating? Who went with you? no i did not. i have not dressed up for halloween in a while

o13. What is one thing you miss most from your childhood? What do you miss the least? i miss life being so carefree, being able to do just about anything i wanted.  not having responsibility at all and just hanging out with friends

o14. What would be the biggest challenge involved in raising a child at your age? raising a child in general, lol.  i could never do it.  cudos to all the people that have raised children

o15. If you happened to get pregnant before you were ready for children, how would you cope? Do you think your parents would support you and help you out? i would never have a child.  take that for what it is.  i would never tell my parents if i got pregnant because they would not agree with me terminating the pregnancy

o16. Have you ever had unprotected sex? What would you tell a young teen thinking about having unprotected sex? yes.  i would tell them to be safe.  i would tell them to try it with protection first.  i got on birth control before i ever lost my virginity and it as probably saved me from getting pregnant lol

o17. What are some gender double-standards anger you? all of them tbh

o18. Other than the usual qualities (honesty, respect, etc), what are some attributes you want your BF/GF to possess? I really need patience because i am a lot to deal with and i have a lot of issues.  i need someone who can make me laugh because i have a lot of down days.  i also really need someone understanding.

o19. Do you still talk to the first person you ever dated? If not, would you want to? Why or why not? I do not. i have no talked to him in years.  I would not mind talking to him.  he usually only ever messages me when he’s missing me and wants to talk about getting back together or hooking up or something lol. 

o2o. Five years ago, what was the most important thing in your life? How about the most important person? i don’t remember, probably jack lol.  we had been together for about a year by then.

21. How would you describe your sexuality? Have you ever wondered whether or not you might be homo/bisexual? i think i am pansexual.  i don’t really understand sexuality very much tbh.  i just know that i do not base my love for people on their gender.  i would date anyone whether they were cis, trans, non binary, gender fluid, etc. 

o22. Do you think that homosexual couples should be able to raise or adopt children? Why or why not? I think they should be able to do whatever they want

o23. Think of your worst fear. What would you do if you were confronted with it right now? probably have a panic attack

o24. If you were to become a vegetarian, what meat-product would you miss the most? Have you ever been or wanted to be a vegetarian? i would miss steak thats for sure.  i have been a vegetarian before and it was really hard.  i am not sure if i would be able to do it again tbh

o25. Do you think that someone’s sexuality is something that they can control? No.

o26. What do you like most about your favorite animal? I love them, they are super cute and cuddly but mostly spicy

o27. What is your favorite way to eat your favorite food? How often do you eat your favorite food item? with my hands? lol idek what kind of question that is.  my favorite food is sushi and i eat it with chopsticks lol

o28. What is something you are craving? Will this craving be satisfied? i really want a pepsi but i am trying to be good and not drink as many sugary beverages.  it will not be satisfied anytime soon

o29. What is the largest number of texts you have sent in a day? Do you often text this much? a lot probably i used to text a lot of people when i was in high school just for shits.  i didn’t really want to talk to them i just wanted to talk to people.  i don’t really text that much anymore.

o3o. Do you like the holiday season? Why or why not? What could be better about it? i don’t mind the holiday season at all. i especially like halloween season.  christmas is ok.  i don’t like the stigma around christmas that i have to go broke to show people that i love them. 

[maliro-t]

tagged by the lovely @surprisegents​  below the cut 🙏🙏 thank u!!

1. Name: Maya

2: Gender: waves hand in a vaguely feminine direction

3. Star sign: libra

4. Height: 5′3"

5. Time: 6:55 when I finished this

6. Birthday: Oct 7th

7. Favorite band(s): well my longtime fave is death cab for cutie bc. I’m a sad b*tch I guess. Also, sorry to be an obscure music person, but I highkey love bitter ruin and foxtails brigade.

8. Favorite solo artist(s): mmm probably Mitski for the last couple years! Historically though, Sara Bareilles 

9. Song stuck in my head: none atm but that’s bc I’m listening to music

10. Last Movie: oh god it was night at the museum lmao, it randomly came on after something else we watched. definitely was a movie made in 2006, that’s for sure.

11. Last show: ok wait actually I have a shred of shame left that makes me not want to answer this,,,,,I’ll let you imagine. I will say instead that the last show I Finished was an Icelandic crime drama called the valhalla murders which I basically watched to fill time but it was surprisingly satisfying

12. When did you make this account: the very very end of 2013 so. you COULD dig through it if you want but also maybe do not!!

13. What do I post: I mean overall, fandom or no, it’s mostly just things I think are Pretty. I know I have an insp tag but really everything I rb is insp in some form or another. But yeah I mean idk. mainly pretty things and video game ladies (which I realize are the Same), with a general skew towards fantasy.

14. What is the last thing you googled: oh I’m playing ac valhalla right now and I was looking up how to find an artifact that I couldn’t get to for the life of me 🤡 sorry for being incompetent

 15. Other blogs: I have a fruits basket side blog (date of origin, 2014) that has about 10 posts on it from before I even really knew how this website worked and I’m not linking it, sorry folks. But generally this has been a Single Blog Affair for my entire run

16. Do I get asks: generally not really! only for ask memes, or maybe very very occasionally after I post something that gets enough of a reception. I do have like 20 very weird questions sitting in my ask box rn from when a friend was feeling particularly memey though

17. Why did I choose this url: I’ve talked about this before but it’s a bunch of different bits from my name (aka a made up word), which somehow was taken so I added a hyphen! The reason I decided on that is slightly more complicated and related to two of my very early fandoms.

18. Following: 411

19. Followers: 554

20. Average hours of sleep: probably six oof

21. Lucky number: 3!

22. Instruments: have played piano most of my life, plus violin (which I’m no where near as good at but still dabble in) and some self taught ukulele

23. What am I wearing: a random dress and a comfy red sweater/cardigan thing I love. 

24. Dream job: tumblr you can’t keep tricking me into thinking about the future, I won’t do it

25. Dream trip: unfortunately I have pretty terrible travel anxiety and basically,,,,, never desire to go Anywhere. I’m lucky to have been a lot of neat places with my family but also that was kind of. enough for me oof. So my 2020/2021 answer is a coffee shop.

26. Favorite food: lasagna,,,

27. Nationality: american

28. Favorite song: oh god, impossible to choose. one forever fave of mine is brothers on a hotel bed by dcfc but like. I’m only naming that one because I’ve loved it Forever. 

29. Last book I read: uhhh probably something for class oof, I guess it was Père Goriot which I had a tough time with because it has No plot but u know occasionally there was something very profound.

30. Top three fictional universes I would like to live in: hmmm okay. this is a question I have never really considered, believe it or not, but I think my answers are 1. the magicians, but specifically the books. the show would be a living hell 2. maybe unexpected but can I say stardust? movie or book tbh, there’s just the right balance of whimsy and peril imo, and no world-ending stakes 3.I’m gonna say dragon age for posterity even though I know it would objectively be terrible

i’ll tag @the-socially-unaccepted @barrynn @tightlemon if u guys want!! <3 

[unibrowzz]

Mod (finally) reviews all 67 winners of the Eurovision Song Contest Part VII (FINALE)- The 2010s

And we’re on the home stretch! Just 10 songs left now.

The 2010s stands as the only decade I watched live and the only decade I haven’t yet rewatched, mainly because I have no interest to. I’ve already seen the contest anyway, if a song didn’t stick with me then, it probably won’t now.

Also prepare for some hotter than usual takes, mostly down to the 10s contests being the most well known due to recency bias. I can say whatever the Hell I want about older contests and what songs I despise from there, but one non-positive comment about Euphoria and suddenly about five butthurt anons appear in my inbox telling me why I’m wrong.

But without further ado, let’s finish these off!

2010: Satellite

Country: Germany

Artist: Lena Meyer-Landrut

Language: English

Thoughts: I used to defend this song a lot, for some reason. I used to get super defensive when people dismissed it as a cheap lazy pop song that shouldn’t have won over (insert song here, but let’s be real here, 99% of the time it’s Turkey's equally cheap lazy emo rock song) and that it robbed so many better entries, blah blah, you know the drill. And I think it’s because it was the first winner I saw as I started properly watching in 2010, so I didn’t want to shit all over the winner that introduced me to the contest. Or maybe it’s that it makes me really nostalgic, or something to that effect. But, dear God, why did I? It’s so… not worth it. I appreciate it for being a much less instrumental-heavy winner, with its skippy, snappy beat and bouncing vocals which sound closer to plain talking than actual singing, but… How many times were the lyrics ran through GoogleTranslate before they were finalised? What’s with the janky, overexaggerated fake-English accent? Why does the singer look embarrassed to be a part of this? Why was this written?  And how the FUCK did it win? It’s so weird and awkward to listen to. It’s the song equivalent of trying to make small talk with that one classmate you never talk to because they’re shy and boring. It’s like listening to an old person laugh half-heartedly at their not-that-funny old person joke. It’s canned laughter in a mediocre sitcom. It’s just an awkward, painful to listen to song that’s made all the more painful by the fact that Germany has sent much better songs that easily could have replaced this as their one post-reunification winner.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? Spain- Daniel Diges- “Algo Pequeñito”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 60th

2011: Running Scared 

Country: Azerbaijan

Artist: Ell and Niki 

Language: English

Thoughts: Look, this one isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. Doesn’t mean it’s good, or that I find it particularly good, but the worst winner of all time? Goodness no, it doesn't even come remotely close. What we have here is a mildly pleasant ballad duet song with a distinctive sad-boyband vibe. Like you can definitely hear the “X-Factor winner’s first cover song” energy just radiating off it from the first few lines. I suppose you could argue that that does make it feel a bit clinical and like it’s trying too hard to be a big hit, but come on, it’s not like this is the first winner like that. The singing is alright; better than half the singing that won in the 2000s anyway, and the male singer especially has a nice voice. The lyrics aren’t exactly poetry, sure, but again, other winners have terrible lyrics as well and don’t receive nearly as much hate as this one does. And… that’s it. Why all the hate? No idea, but I can only assume the people who declare this song to be the worst winner ever haven’t heard anything that won before 2010.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? Denmark- A Friend in London- “New Tomorrow”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 42nd

2012: Euphoria

Country: Sweden

Artist: Loreen

Language: English

Thoughts: Ugh. Listen. This is not a bad song. It’s decent, middle of the table, listenable, marketable, well sung, well performed, well shot. I must stress, this is not a bad song. But the best Eurovision song of all time? Absolutely not. Euphoria is one of the few winners I would describe as “overrated”, and that isn’t a term I use lightly (since it’s overused as Hell), because frankly, I don’t see what people see in this song. Hell, I forgot it completely until the 2012 voting, and further still until mid 2013 when a friend said he liked it. This song left that little of an impression on me that I completely forgot everything about it for a solid year.  And considering how many fans regard this to be one of the best, if not the best song to ever come out of the contest... that baffles me, I just can’t wrap my head around why so many people hold this song up on a pedestal and worship it like it was dropped from the hands of God himself. And I'm not sure if it's because this just isn't a genre I care about, or if it's because this was WAY back when I was a casual fan who didn't follow any of the songs or artists so didn't know who'd be the favourite going in like I do now, and therefore didn’t know to keep an ear out for this one. Or maybe you have to be piss drunk and at a nightclub to really feel the impact of this song. This song triggers absolutely no response from me other than “Oh, a Eurovision song”. I feel no emotion towards it aside from complete indifference. I can’t deny that this song made an impact, it just… didn’t make an impact on me.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Spain- Pastora Soler- “Quedate Conmigo”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 40th

2013: Only Teardrops

Country: Denmark

Artist: Emmelie de Forest

Language: English

Thoughts: Let me ask you a question: What do you get when you sandwich an otherwise decent pop song between two of the most iconic and recognizable winners of the decade? You get this. Only Teardrops is a weird, weird winner to me. On one hand, the fandom acts like it might as well not exist, you go straight from Euphoria to Rise Like a Phoenix, who cares about that filler song which came between them. On the other hand, I know a lot of people who really like it, yet all of them are either very casual fans or not fans at all. So this makes me feel like this song’s main weakness is that it’s too mainstream, at least for Eurovision fans. What are my thoughts? It depends. For one, I enjoy this song a LOT more than Euphoria; I always have done and I’m not ashamed or afraid to admit that. I find this song has a lot more personal appeal, particularly a much bigger finale in my opinion, and being surrounded by people who like this song has admittedly kept me fond of it. BUT, I still wouldn’t necessarily call it a favourite of mine. Maybe a favourite of the 2010s, but not overall. At the end of the day, it’s a little too generic, a little too normal, a little too like every other song you’d hear on the radio. It’s not really a song I find myself coming back to again and again and loving every time, it’s the song I stick on to shut my family up when they want to listen to Eurovision music and I’m too shy to show them the songs I actually really like. It's just a decent song that's unfortunate enough to be stuck in between two more iconic winners, doomed to be little more than the answer in a pub quiz question.  And even though I do prefer this one to some of those icons, and don’t really have anything else to say about it, it’s just enjoyable yet kind of bland.

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or Iceland

If no, what is? Iceland- Eyþór Gunnlaugsson- “Ég á Líf”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 16th

2014: Rise Like a Phoenix

Country: Austria

Artist: Conchita Wurst

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the man who made the entire continent of Europe collectively forget what a drag queen is. What a shitshow that night was. But I'm not here to talk about that, I'm here to rate/say some things about the song, and honestly? This is arguably the most vocally impressive winner from the 2010s. Seriously, there’s nothing I can fault here; this guy’s got some serious pipes. Every time I go back to it I just end up blown away by how powerful and raw this song is. And obviously good vocals alone can’t carry a song forever, otherwise I would’ve had nicer things to say about the early 70s and mid 90s, but with this song the vocals go hand-in-hand with the gimmick. Without the powerful vocals this would just be a knockoff Bond theme sung by a drag queen with a beard, like it’d just be another sensationalist gimmick song to throw onto the pile with all the other gimmick songs. But with the good singing, this has the distinction that it’s a gimmick entry that still had every right to win because the singer was actually competent. Also unlike the 70s winners this one actually has strong emotions tied to it rather than it just being a bunch of pretty French words, so there’s that.

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or the Netherlands tbh

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 17th

2015: Heroes

Country: Sweden

Artist: Måns Zelmerlöw 

Language: English 

Thoughts: Fun fact: I was so bitter this won that I stormed off before the voting was done and cried in my room over it. I hated everything about this song: I hated how Sweden won just three years after their last win, I hated how the staging was just BEGGING people to vote for it, and I ESPECIALLY hated how it beat out the televote favourite because the juries were too busy wanking off to this one to care about anything else. I just despised everything about this song, and it turned me into an obnoxious jury-hater for a solid year.  And yes, I'm extremely embarrassed of all that because honestly this song is fantastic. I would go as far to say it's my favourite Swedish winner, maybe not one of my favourite Swedish entries but definitely my favourite winner of theirs. Everything about this is just so appealing to me, from the brooding intro and vocals, to the lyrics, to the staging, my GOD the staging! It’s one of the best performances of the contest to date; It's impressive without being tacky or try-hard, he interacts with his background, and that little doodle boy character he’s created is adorable. I just love this performance, it’s so mesmerising.

Was this my personal winner for this year? Not then, is now

If no, what was? Then? Serbia- Bojana Stamenov- “Beauty Never Lies”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 11th

2016: 1944

Country: Ukraine

Artist: Jamala

Language: English, some Crimean words

Thoughts: I mean… it’s good until she starts singing. Now I am by all means not an advocate for bringing back the old language rule, but songs like this sure as Hell make me one. This should have been left entirely in Crimean. Simple as that. The English lyrics are bloody awful, no way to sugarcoat it, and absolutely annihilate the potential this song is otherwise seething with, because the instrumental to this song is fantastic and the chorus and climax give me goosebumps. The performance at the contest was chilling as well; a perfect blend of both simple yet flashy staging to set up a really uneasy atmosphere that compliments the song perfectly but, God, the lyrics are bad, man, especially for such a serious song about a personal topic.  That said, it's still the only song in the 2016 top 3 that seemed winner-worthy, unlike Australia's obvious Jurybait and Russia's obvious Telebait. So… it has that. 

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? France- Amir Haddad- “J’ai Cherché”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 57th

2017: Amar Pelos Dois 

Country: Portugal 

Artist: Salvador Sobral 

Language: Portuguese (Translation: “Both of us”)

Thoughts: I still question why it took Portugal until 20-fucking-17 to even reach the top five, but that's a rant for another day.  Not that this is a rant, far from it. Anybody who knows me knows that I love this song after all, and that it’s one of the few winners I remain rather defensive of, though that’s mostly down to the amount of hate this song and its singer receive.  I will defend Sal and his hot takes on pop music until I die. Now I’ll admit, this song surprised me in more ways than one. Namely by actually winning the televote; given how this song has split opinions clean down the board as to whether it’s spine-tinglingly beautiful or soul-crushingly boring, I was expecting it to come mid-table in the televote whilst some other country swiped first. Yet somehow it managed to stomp the televote just as hard as it stomped the jury vote. I guess I wasn’t the only person this struck a chord with after all. Also, I can’t be the only one who thinks this is a perfect dance song? Like it’s great for ballroom, or contemporary. It’s so dreamy and flowy, and I usually HATE dreamy flowy songs, yet this one just resonates with me for some reason and I’m not sure why.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 4th

2018: Toy

Country: Israel

Artist: Netta Barzilai

Language: English, some chicken noises, cringe

Thoughts: And here we have another case for bringing back the language rule, because if this song had a Hebrew version I would 100% listen to it more often. When I heard Israel was sending an, ahem, "feminist anthem" about the #MeToo trend on twitter, my first reaction was "ew". When I heard it was the favourite to win, my reaction was also "ew". And when I heard the song for the first time? "Hm, not as bad as I thought."  And also "ew". This song is just embarrassing. I’m embarrassed listening to it, I’m embarrassed watching it, and I’m embarrassed when someone mentions it when I’m trying to convince them Eurovision actually has good music. You can just tell from the first few lines that it was written by middle aged men trying to shill themselves out to gullible young women who think listening to a song by some Israeli DJ “empowers” them.  And let’s be honest here: “empowering” is just media speak for “shit”. The only thing stopping me from putting it at the VERY bottom is the instrumental and performance because without the cringy lyrics you’re left with a pretty good club song, and I swear to God Netta Barzilai could sell herself sneezing for 3 minutes. If “Toy” had been entirely in Hebrew I would’ve given it a pass, and maybe a cheeky vote or two.  But, alas, that was not to be.

Was this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what was? Italy- Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro- “Non mi Avete fatto Niente”

Personal ranking (out of 67):  64th

2019: Arcade

Country: The Netherlands

Artist: Duncan Laurence

Language: English

Thoughts: You know, in my 9 or so years watching the contest, I don’t think I’ve ever felt genuinely ecstatic watching a song win. Most of the time I either feel neutral (most of them) or a more general, content kind of happy (2014 and 2017). Like I’ve never let out a shout of joy and slid on my knees across my living room floor in sheer, blind happiness. But that’s what I did with “Arcade”. I’m not really sure why that is because, I must confess, it wasn’t my personal winner of the night, and, looking back, I preferred other songs, but… God, I just can’t explain how overwhelmingly happy I was when this song won. I’m not sure if it’s because I was alone or if I was rooting for this deep down (or if it’s because it was between this song or fuckin’ Sweden again). But that’s by the by. How’s the song? Honestly? Really good. One of my favourites of this decade, if I’m honest. It’s the kind of song that’s grown on me a lot since the night of the contest; even though it wasn’t my favourite song from 2019, I’m not mad at all at it winning.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Honestly I had about 10

If no, what is? I could list them if you want

Personal ranking (out of 67):  6th

[abcd-adventures]

Would you rather travel to the past or travel to the future? Why? Who do you admire? Why? Who do you want to meet? What kind of student were you in the past? What are your favorite things to do while camping? Do you ever go camping with your family? Would you rather have a chance to travel everywhere you wanted in the United States or outside of the United States? Why? Where would you travel if money and time weren't factors? Do you like zoos, safari parks, or farms? Why or why not?

More awesome questions! I LOVE seeing these in my inbox--sorry that I’m slow to answer sometimes! Ahh, life with a toddler, but I promise I will get to all of them, and I’m so grateful for the thoughtful asks! <3

In theory, time travel is SO COOL. I think I mentioned that we’re currently watching DARK as a family--it’s intense, but it’s good. However, when I really put any thought into time travel (assuming it was definitely a thing and something I would ever have the chance to do), I wouldn’t want to do it. There were definitely times in my past that were difficult, but looking back I can clearly see how they shaped the person that I am and it was for the better, so I wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that growth. I mean, I have my issues, but I genuinely like who I am. And, I wouldn’t want to go to the future because I’m ok not knowing what is to come. In fact, I prefer it. I put a decent amount of thought into my decisions in life, and I wouldn’t want to suddenly start second-guessing them or over-analyzing them a crazy amount either trying to ensure or change the future I saw. Now, if I could just travel back in a little bubble and witness certain major historical events to learn what they were really like but without actually seeing any of my own past or influencing anything--I would totally be down for that!

Hmmm, there are some people I interact with on this site that I would love to have the chance to actually meet in person! But, like famous people or historical figures or whatever. . .meh? Like, it would be cool, but I don’t have any kind of real interest in meeting them. *shrug* I guess because I always envision it in some kind of formal way, like, “OK, here’s your chance to meet this person--annnnd go interview them/have a photo op/etc.” If I met some awesome people in a totally organic, normal-person encounter and we were just two regular people talking, then I’m up for meeting lots of people. Does that make sense? I did meet Obama at a restaurant a few years ago; that was fun! But, sorry Obama, I would have been even MORE interested in meeting Michelle! Lol

In elementary, I was a super-involved student--curious, top of my class, friends with everyone. In middle school, because I lived in the country and the districting lines were weird for me, I went to a totally different middle school than everyone I knew and it was HARD. Puberty sucks anyway, but puberty when you went through as bad of an awkward stage as I did, with a bunch of strangers. . .it sucks even worse! My grades were not great; I ate my lunches alone in the bathroom, and I didn’t have any friends (except my best friends I’ve always had but they went to different schools, too). Before high school, I made some changes to my “look,” so all of a sudden people weren’t such dicks to me, so that aspect was easier. I loved certain classes and certain teachers, so I was an excellent student in some classes, but in others I just looked at the syllabus and did exactly as much as I had to in order to pass. I skipped a lot of school (often with my now husband). In college, I was in it for me. I wanted to be there; I loved what I was studying--ALL of it, even college algebra--and I maintained a 4.0 even while working and taking care of a toddler/preschooler. I imagine that grad school will be the same (minus the working part--until I get into my internship). I’m not obsessed with grades, but I am committed to working very hard on my assignments because I want to be the best social worker that I can be, and not to be a narcissist, but I’m not terrible at it (school or social work).  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My favorite things to do while camping are hiking, cooking over the campfire, reading under the stars with a little camping light, and just enjoying the feeling of life slowing down. With my family growing up, we did tent camping. My husband does not sleep great in the best of circumstances, so he is not down for sleeping in a tent. Lol So, the “camping” that we do these days is in a cabin!

Hmmmmm, that’s a tough one! There’s plenty of places I’d love to see within the US, but I’d rather have unlimited access to other countries because I LOVE learning about other cultures and the worldviews and daily lives of people in places so different from where I come from. Our top travel destinations on our family “bucket list” are Scotland, Northern Ireland, Iceland, New Zealand, and Thailand. But, that’s a VERY short list (and mostly determined by my husband and C because they know I’ll go anywhere and they’re more picky). I would honestly go anywhere if time, money, AND the awfulness of airports and the actual traveling part of the experience weren’t a factor.

Depending on the care given to the animals and their conditions, yes. Our Austin Zoo is a “rescue zoo,” so in theory that should be a great thing! But, then, I read an article recently about some of the zookeepers’ experiences there and some of the treatment of the animals, and I was really upset. I won’t go into all of my feelings about nature and how humans have treated our world, etc. I live in a house in a city. I drive a car. I mean, I try to do my part to compost and buy responsibly raised food, limit my use of plastics, etc., but I contribute to the damage to our world like ALL of us do to some degree. That’s a whole long conversation with not enough answers that isn’t even an answer to the question you asked, so. . .yeah!