#I mean nothing can effect me like the manga chapters still do after all this time

[kyouka-supremacy]

People in the notes of my last post being worried about how they'll react when chapters 84-88 get animated. It's okay guys worst case scenario Atsushi is going to scream Akutagawa's name at the end of chapter 87 and we all collectively die

[thatcryptidinthewoods]

Strap in boys, this is a long one.

So I was looking back through the pages of the manga and I noticed something very interesting about Hyuse. It's a really subtle thing but it's been blowing my mind all the way to Saturn and back.

I had to split this post up because of the Tumblr picture limit so if you want the full version you can find it here.

When we first meet Hyuse, he's in the Aftokrator Away Ship, dressed in Aftokrator's military uniform, surrounded by fellow soldiers. And he looks like this:

Look at his hair. It's neat and tidy, slicked back to be smooth and out of the way. It's very round and flat and well-behaved, almost like it's been polished.

Soon after this, Hyuse is instructed to go out and fight Tamakoma-1. So he does. He goes with Viza and he fights Tamakoma-1.

But Tamakoma-1 isn't easy to beat. In fact, they're quite hard to beat, and Hyuse is encountering some difficulties. Their techniques and weapons are new, unusual and unknown to him - he's being exposed to how Meeden works for the first time. And his hair... scruffs just a little bit.

Just a little bit messier, not a lot to really matter. Could be just the effect of an intense fight.

Then he meets Jin.

And then he fights Jin. And after fighting Jin and learning that his fellow Aftokratans have left, he looks like this:

Those back spikes weren't like that before, were they? No, after having fought with Jin and being told he's been abandoned by his comrades, Hyuse's hair is definitely scruffier. (Also, doesn't that crack look weirdly like he's... crying? Food for thought.)

So Aftokrator loses and Hyuse is taken prisoner, and when we next see him, it's here:

Posture slouched, hands in his pockets, hood over his head. A very clear anti-social stance. He doesn't want to be here, he doesn't want to talk to these people, he's pretty much doing this against his will. So he's reluctant, and he's hiding.

This is a common thing with Hyuse. It's how Ashihara communicates the distance between Hyuse and other characters to the audience; if he doesn't want to be there, he puts the hood up and he hides. And it's kinda interesting that the behaviour that is associated with Hyuse hiding is also the behaviour where he covers his hair.

His hair, which went from almost-uniform neatness in Aftokrator's ship to a ruffled mess after being on Meeden.

Do you see where this is heading? Let me keep going.

After the Aftokrator invasion, Hyuse spends some time among Tamakoma Branch as per Border's way of keeping him prisoner. He barely talks to any of the people there, but that doesn't mean he doesn't interact with them. He's still in the same space as them, sharing the same environment, so he continues to gain exposure to Meeden and its people, and he bonds particularly with Yōtarō.

Following this, the next major event in the story is the Galopoula invasion. Towards the end Hyuse meets with one of the Galopoula soldiers (Reghindetz) and demands to be taken with them so he can return to Aftokrator.

Hyuse fakes stabbing Yōtarō in order to convince Reghindetz of taking him with them, but Reghindetz flips out a completely grills him.

Chapter 135 is the first ever chapter to be titled with Hyuse's name; it's incredibly important to his character, and this panel is the centre of it. It takes up half the page it's on. Ashihara wanted to make it very clear to the audience that this moment for Hyuse is absolutely critical - and it is, because this is a major turning point in Hyuse's character growth. He's just had the blatant truth of what it means to be left behind by Aftokrator thrown right in his face.

And you wanna know what Ashihara chose to highlight in such an incredibly crucial moment for Hyuse's character?

His fucking hair.

His messy, fluffy, scruffy hair that looks absolutely nothing like it did when he first arrived in the Aftokrator ship. His hair, which has gone from neat and orderly and controlled to wild and free just from being on Meeden.

But the absolute wildest part? Hyuse looks like a teenager now. The more his hair fluffs up and gets scruffy, the more Hyuse looks like a normal everyday teenager who just grew up on Meeden/Earth. It's insane. It's surreal. It's absolutely off-the-walls batshit bonkers and Ashihara is a bloody genius.

It doesn't stop there either, because the very next thing that happens is the first time the audience gets to see Hyuse put on Lambyris. And lo and behold...

Hyuse, using Lambyris and wearing Aftokrator's military uniform, has scruffy hair.

Ashihara could've just made it so that Lambyris automatically gives Hyuse neatened hair, and excused the previous scruffiness with "he was in a fight". But he didn't. Instead he chose to show us Hyuse putting on Lambyris while looking like a normal teenager, and have his trion body load in with god damn scruffy hair.

What happens afterwards? Well...

Hyuse hides again.

Notice how he took the hood off when facing Reghindetz? He was confident then, self-assured. He had a plan and he was gonna act on it. Now, that's all been crushed. He's back to square one and worse, he's been confronted with the fact that he's been abandoned.

There's a distinct pattern to Hyuse's hiding. Whenever he's faced with something that shakes his world view and/or hurts his pride, he puts his hood up. He creates a second shield for himself and he uses it to cover up his key defining features. This isn't just anti-social behaviour, it's a defence mechanism.

The Aftokrator invasion? No hood, but the moment he's taken prisoner of war it's there. Aftokrator lost and then left Hyuse behind, and he's hiding how he's hurt by that. On top of that, he's being manhandled by Border.

Confronting Reghindetz? No hood, he didn't feel like he needed it. Post-Galopoula invasion? Hood up, head down, won't sit near anyone but Yōtarō. He's having to rearrange his whole perception of himself, Aftokrator and Meeden and it sucks.

And thirdly, confronting the Border Executives. In order for Hyuse to get back to Aftokrator, he needs to join Tamakoma-2 as their second ace, and help them get onto the Away Mission team. To do that, however, he needs approval from the heads of Border - which means he needs Osamu to plead his case.

Notice how, by having him sat down, Ashihara made Hyuse shorter than Yūma in this panel? How Hyuse, who's normally the tallest out of Tamakoma-2, is depicted as smaller than their smallest member? And even more than that, how Osamu is now the tallest?

Where Hyuse is normally the guide, the advisor, the more experienced one that the others turn to, in this situation he is the one reliant on them.

And look, he's regressed. He's gone back to that flat-eyed stare he had when we first saw him in the hoodie, sat in the back of the car.

He's been placed into a situation where he is basically powerless and completely dependent on others to survive, and in response all of his defence mechanisms have gone back up. He refuses to emote properly and only talks when he feels it's absolutely necessary, and the hood stays firmly on - hiding not only his hair but his horns as well, the key defining feature of his Neighbour heritage.

But Mikumo succeeds in getting Hyuse approved for Tamakoma-2. And Hyuse, incidentally, goes back to being depicted as the tallest of the four of them.

From this angle, it also appears that he's no longer slouching. His confidence is slowly coming back.

So at long last, in Chapter 150/151, Hyuse joins Border. He rocks up at the induction ceremony in a customised C-Rank uniform, hair fully exposed and scruffy as ever.

[dyaz-stories]

Hey there! Just wanna know, what the heck happened in the JJK manga? Is it already over? Did the characters FINALLY mourn Gojo?! I gave up trying to read the manga after 236, so I just decided to randomly hear from others. But anyways, what happened??

Hey there! BOY AM I HAPPY TO DISCUSS THAT.

(I'm sorry I have so many thoughts and you've given me an excuse to ramble so this is going to be long)

There are two chapters left in the manga, it will end on September 30th. The chapter that just came out, chapter 269, was, however, really bad imo and a terrible use of time considering how little time Gege has left. I get that he had to wrap up quick, but in my personal opinion, it's inexplicable that he'd dedicate a whole chapter to what we just saw.

(More under the cut with spoilers for chapter 269)

Okay, so, the characters spend half the chapter arguing about how they could have done a better job fighting Sukuna, even though at this point, the losses are minimal. Most of the characters who were possibly dead are fine and dandy actually (Yuta, Higuruma, Todo, Kusakabe). Choso is still dead, but he gets a little line about how that's sad (and his death scene was really good and effective, so I'm not that mad about it, even if he's a character I really loved).

It kinda feels like Gege is justifying the way the fight went, which is a bit weird. In story, I think this could make sense if it was fueled by grief and loss and more of a "this person could have been saved! and this person didn't have to die!", but it feels kind of matter of fact tbh, with Maki being pretty much the only one displaying emotions. Even she seems to be arguing about efficiency, not really about saving human lives? Other characters' responses aren't much better. Yuuji in particular looks like he's super numb to everything, which again, yes, that's a trauma response, but it doesn't make for interesting storytelling and it's not going to be explored further, so... what's the point.

Also think that Yuta desecrating Gojo's corpse isn't explored enough. He did something horrifying that turned to not be that useful — going with the manga's message that the end doesn't justify the means — and he seems fine. I guess Maki yelling at him could be explained by the fact that she was strongly against this action, but it's never made explicit, which is a shame. (think it's more implied it's because he endangered himself and she has feelings for him)

The other half of the chapter is spent on a plot point that I don't think had been developed before that, about the new shadow style. This feels like the last arc Gege wanted to have and Sukuna's fight went on for too long so he had to scrap it. The point is essentially that the head of the new shadow style school is trying to become the head of Jujutsu Society as a whole now that the clans have collapsed. There was a binding vow that made it so the head of the school could steal years from people who had learned the style and add it to their lifespan. Anyway, Mei Mei steps in and makes it so the style can become more widely used.

(If you're bored reading that, yeah, so was I)

It's not useless exactly — it definitely goes towards the manga's message of ending the cycle and starting off with a clean slate, so that's a win — but it feels super rushed. It didn't have to be rushed, could have been a decent arc, it just isn't, and again, I don't think that's a great use of pages this late in the story.

Last but not least, Gojo. Gojo gets two mentions in this chapter.

The second one is in passing, when Hakari defends Yuta's usefulness.

And the first one, oooh boy the first one,

is about how this was all Gojo's fault from the get-go anyway 😃

And again, some nuance here. Kusakabe specifically says that the kids have nothing to apologize for — which I agree with. His point is that it was Gojo's responsibility to kill Yuuji. Essentially, the idea is that he was the adult, and in not doing that, he's responsible for the kids having to live with all the consequences of his actions.

Which aaaaah I'm losing it here! Yuuji was a victim of Kenjaku's machinations from the get-go, so would it have been right to kill him? Isn't this just a trolley problem — kill Yuuji and save innocent people's lives? But then, Yuuji, Sukuna and Kenjaku's actions led to the end of jujutsu society as we know it, more or less directly, which could lead to a better future, so was he actually right, in a purely consequentialist approach?

I don't think any of that is particularly interesting to discuss at this point tbh. I feel like that had already been dealt with. I'm just deeply confused as to why we're dealing with this when there were three chapters left before this one instead of focusing on closing the curtain on beloved characters, Gojo in particular.

Anyway! Bad chapter imo. Boring. Bad use of the characters and their relationships with one another. Really questionable use of time. Gojo was not mourned and in fact it's almost like he's never existed or never mattered to anyone. No Shoko here, not a hint of sadness from Yuta either, which I had hoped for.

I'm still looking forward to the last two chapters, and I hope they'll leave more room for the characters to, you know, have feelings.

[sayakxmi]

[Magi reread] Night 76: Smile

It's been a while, lmao. I did some fandom jumping, was pretty busy, too, but this chapter was dragging behind me, like, come on, last chapter of the arc! Part of the reason I'm back here is bc I'm kinda getting to the part in this Final Arc rewrite where it'd be fucking nice to have some background info on a few characters. I mean, I know stuff in theory, but I also know myself enough to expect random changes during the actual writing process & it'd be a fucking pain if I wrote one version of events in flashbacks, and then went somewhere else in the actual prequel.

ANYWAY, chapter.

Bro, I love some of the final chapters of the arcs titles, especially Smile and Welcome Home (Magnostadt Arc), like, they just stayed in my brain. Why must you hurt me this way, Ohtaka.

I don't recall posting covers of chaptera too often, but this one is just so fucking sweet, man. And sad. It just... really does it for me, y'know? Smiling after everything that's just happened, but also it feels like a promise, especially after Cassim just fucking died like that (I will never recover) - now the three of them are a family. ;;

On a semi-related note, it's kind of what makes it difficult for me to ship any of them with each other. Even excluding Aladdin's age (not that Ohtaka has issues with such things, and boy will you hear it from me, but that's for later), I mentally familyzoned them. Interestingly, I'm more flexible with Cassim and Alibaba, though over time I also grew to prefer to view them as siblings. Like, I had a few CassAli AUs in the past, but I think I also wrote too much of Alibaba perceiving Cassim as his brother to come up with new ones. Now it'd just feel weird.

I'm still waiting for Silk for Steel update, tho.

Also, shoutout to me bc I thought: it's been a while, I'll check quick what I wrote about the previous chapter to kinda regain some context (yes, only now), and, yep, tears in my eyes. It happesn every time.

Ok, chapter.

I was going to ignore him, but, fine, you get a pic. He looks fucking exhausted. And no surprises here, tbh. He was using his magoi in battle and also got a little impaled, too.

Is he, really?

I'm still mad at Al-Thamen resolution or the lack of it. Like, bro, look at this pic, it's so messed up? What the hell? Right after Sinbad says that the fight isn't over, we get this, and, like, yeah, there's a shitton of these guys left here.

I miss Al-Thamen being threatening.

Is it the first time First-Class Singularity is used referring to Sinbad? I might be wrong, but if not first, then one of the first ones.

On a different note, I kinda chuckled, seeing that they refer to Alibaba as Aladdin's immature candidate to be the king, I mean, immature, and yet him and Aladdin managed to change the Flow. Imagine what they can do once they do mature? <3

Can I please get some details, Ohtaka? You mean similar situations as in Kings changing the Flow? What do you mean by that? But on the other hand, kinda makes me think about the Final Arc & the argument that everybody can see a little bit of destiny/change it. Heh.

Side-effect of taking a break from the manga reread is that I'm wondering if it's the first time we have that "Father" mentioned or not. Honest with ya, on my first read I definitely didn't pay attention to this, lmao.

Also, sick art.

Welcome back to my God I love Alibaba. I love kind characters. Of course he didn't want anybody to die, but something about the fact that he says "they surely still had many things they wanted to do", it's so... humanizing. Not of Alibaba (tho him, too), but of these people who died, who we know nothing about - they were just background characters, after all. But to Alibaba they were people who had their own lives and hopes and dreams. They had a meaning just because they existed.

It feels so... contrasting to Hakuryuu. He had no consideration for his own people, he just used them as means to an end, literally brainwashing them in an extremely painful ways that I very much did NOT forget, until they became nothing but puppets full of anger. Feels weirdly ironic, or maybe even metaphorical that he himself was a slave to his own anger, and so he turned those around him into his image. Ha.

Ugh, this smile is so sweet and gentle.

Anise! Wish we knew more of you : (

I'll save you the Rashid salt this time.

This entire page deserves to be there, imo. It's... beautiful.

"The flow never stops, it'll endlessly protect and be the ally of us, the living... that's why although a person's death is a tragic thing... It's no a farewell."

It... actually remind me a little about Avatar: the Last Airbender, specifically this quote "You have indeed felt a great loss, but love is a form of energy, and it swirls all around us. The Air Nomads' love for you has not left this world. It is still inside of your heart, and is reborn in the form of new love. Let the pain flow away."

I'm ignoring the other ones, I was always like, hah, seeing how Rashid is disappointed in them.

Tho still, shoutout to the guy who left his kids' in the care of his wife, and then was disappointed they didn't turn out how he wanted them to.

Bitch I'm sad

*squints* what is this expression

: ' )

Oh, hi, Morgiana.

As much as I complain about Magi's trio being actually a duo + Morgiana, I'll give a point here. It was pretty sweet that as the spirits were leaving, she run up to them.

Welp, that's the end of the chapter.

I checked the next chapter just in case, and, yeah. The anime has some stuff happen here, as in, Kou is close or something & there's some scene on the ship iirc, regarding leaving Balbadd... I complain about the anime a lot - and I will keep doing that - but I think it was a pretty good decision (idk about the execution, I don't remember). Jumping from Night 76 to Night 77 feels kinda weird. I legit had to take a second & check if I didn't miss some chapter.

Maybe Kou was mentioned sometime earlier & I just don't remember, but still. This really is the last pic of the chapter, and suddenly we're in Sindria.

Damn Ohtaka and her stupid timeskips.

[yuseirra]

hello there! i've been lurking on ur blog for a while now, and i absolutely love your art and analyses of hikaai!! you made me realize how good of a ship they are together and how tragic it is, and i think you made me love them as much as i do now. the analyses you write about them have really changed my viewpoint of oshi no ko entirely, and i really enjoy how well written they are. thank you so much for all of it!!

i wanted to ask you if you know some songs that seem very hikaai to you? i want to make a playlist for hikaai because i can't find any on spotify, but right now there's not many songs, so i turn to you for help. i've put mephisto and fatal in there because of your posts with those songs :33

thank you once more !! keep being great !!

Hello!// Wow, it's such an honor! I say this a lot lately but I really mean it.. Really? I am so glad! Ah, this makes me so happy. I've been writing about them in a rather frantic manner, I wish I could be more graceful and calm... I'm suddenly feeling a bit shy hehe but I have to be really stern about wrong things, aren't I!! I can't be so calm when I talk about beings like Ryosuke, there are just some things that I feel really strongly about and can't condone... this manga tackles really dark subjects sometimes, and they always get a reaction out of me.

It may take a few chapters for the current situation in the piece to be fully resolved (idk if they'll drag the idea of Kamiki being the "true villain" for so long.. that's going to be so tiring if they do), but I feel like I am on the right track after having thought over just what exactly this piece is trying to convey. ONK has a theme that's been very clear and consistent, and I believe in the writers to send out a message powerful and meaningful. It's made me think about what people go through, and I appreciate it.

Again, wow, really?/// I had that effect on you? Whew, this is so relieving and fulfilling, you're so kind! Thanks for letting me know! They are quite a lovely and powerful ship, aren't they? People will come to see what they are by the series comes to its closure. I know it will happen! There aren't a lot of pieces dedicated to them yet... but when everyone realizes it's THE Fatal and Mephisto ship, they'll see. Hope my works don't get buried when that happens~ ;v;)/

I would love to help you on this, but I was never really good at making playlists.. will you link me yours when you make yours? :)

I'm really sure I know a lot of songs that have their vibe, but I can't finger them right off the bat:

However, I felt the new songs from P3R really suits them in terms of some of its lyrics because it deals with the loss of someone dear and unknowing what to do without them. I've been listening to those a lot along with onk songs, and it's REALLY fitting!

+OH WAIT NEVER MIND. I found a whole BUNCH of songs.

I hope they suit your taste 'v')/

It feels like my heart is suffocating

How do you make amends when you're gone from me?

Even though with a win how come I feel so lost?

Nothing makes sense to me

I'm so numb, so lost without you

Spending days and nights of silence

'cause no words can explain how I feel In my mind and heart

Oh, I don't know what I am but I miss myself 'cause she's not here anymore

How can I move on? Please tell me

Already lost my keys

To the door wide shut

Only have one wish

Now it's never gonna come true

Trapped in time

Forever in remorse

How could I ever be

In peace when nothing else matters to me?

Phantasmagoria is a interesting song, there are lyric in the description.. its story involves encountering a ghost of a loved one and dancing together before daylight strikes, wishing to return to the old days when they were alive. It's worth a listen!

Hydra from MYTH & ROID is such a powerful song.

ACTUALLY, this is the one song I think would be REALLY fitting, it's SO similar to Fatal in terms of what it's saying!

The lyrics for this go:

Even if I lose everything

I still have something to offer

Be it my future or my life itself

My burned-out emotions, my unanswered prayers

My miserable begging, my foolish giving

My strained voice, my dirtied hands

Even my ripped open heart

I have been wishing for nothing but your happiness

Over and over

Even if everything I hold in these hands is lost

As long as there is still time

I will keep trying over and over again

I don't care if it's meaningless and futile

Even if the days I've spent would end in misery

If my wishes change to curses

Even if it was all in vain, I don't mind

Only you remain in my eyes

At the end of this dark road

It seems as though any light would eventually die out

If that is what is decided by fate

Rather than living by holding onto hope

I sacrifice my all for the now

My burned-out emotions, my unanswered prayers

My miserable begging, my foolish giving

Whatever happens, I don't care

I will give my all for you

Nothing would make me happier than

If I could be with you forever

This song is very interesting too! It has lyrics like:

Please, I’ll do anything, just once, let me turn back time.

I’ll even offer up one, no, two of my fingers.

I can’t bring myself to laugh, ever.

Because even the most natural of my emotions vanished along with you.

Yes, that’s right.

No matter how many years pass, I still live as if I’m dead.

Now, God, break me, break me, please.

I have no idea what happened.

This bone-dry heart of mine, come on

touch it, touch it, please.

Even if a thousand years pass, they won’t heal.

I’ll carry these wounds to the end.

Hey, God, kill me, come on, kill me, please.

It’s all my fault, you see.

Things can never be put back to the way they were,

in the end, just laugh, laugh at me again.

These are some depressing songs, but I feel like those were the type of feelings Hikaru would have felt all along. And the songs involve about wishes to bring someone or to turn back time, so I feel it's very fitting to the situation! If he could do it, he'd definitely bring Ai back. And from what I see, he's disregarding his life a whole lot...

How about "Mugen Nostalgia?" I'm just adding this on because this cover sounds so good! But now that I examine the lyrics, it works!!

Until when will I walk by myself?

It spins round and round, then it slips past by.

Until where will you let me feel lonely?

Are you giggling? Where are you?

I want to see you again.

Is it too rushed to go now? But it's always like this, isn't it?

"Can I see you again?"

Don’t laugh at me with such a blank face, like a scarecrow at the sunset.

I’m still chasing what I've been looking for.

So I will never stop my footsteps until I finally find that. 

There’s no need for such thing as promises.

I'll come for you, so don't worry, it's my classic memory.

Saying “since you’re so lovely I can’t stand it,”

I held tightly to laziness’ hand, feeling completely tamed while it looked my way and laughed laughed so many times, saying, “that’s how it is”while looking at me with distant, pitying eyes

Grieving these horrible times—yes, over and over I’ve suffered

Since salvation without an aim can never reach

There’s nothing left, no, nothing left now

Let’s put an end to it with words

“Ah, I’m satisfied with this” I chanted that over and over

A utopia which slips through my fingers and vanishes

It’s surely, yes, surely a bit too late to return to that time, it seems

I can't get my mind off you

I'm such an idiot

Same as usual

You made me feel so better

It brings back memories

It's things about you

My hands can't take back that the time I passed with you

Some doubts broke me down, broke me down

If you are still alive, I wanted to say it's not your fault

But it's too late for us

Maybe I'm afraid I'm not as tender guy as you think

Looking your eyes, and I say "love you" with fake smile

I don't know what to do

Please tell me what should I do

Just feel so sad inside, but I kiss you

Kiss you...

To end this on a positive note, Lamp from Cö shu Nie seems really fitting to how Ai would feel towards Hikaru, I've been there when TPN was reaching its closure and I'm having so many flashbacks about them seeing how things are playing out in ONK. Emma really wanted to save Norman who was keeping up a strong front and chose to take a path of death for everyone's sake and she was able to bring him back in the end with.. a really huge cost... This song reflects how much she cares for him. She brought him back into the light, and I feel like this is what Ai is going to do for Hikaru too.. it's such a warm song.

It's been confirmed by the creator that it is about how Emma felt about Norman.

Quasi love, quasi love, quasi love. I want to be connected

What you thought was a waste and you removed(your life)

Is irreplaceable to me

Don't stay quiet with such a sad face

Kick it up

Get so dirty that you look pathetic

Do we still have some time left?

You can go beyond

It's warm because we are together

Stand up again and again

I want to protect you forever

Repaint this little world

Keep shining, this road I chose

If you are afraid, it's gonna be okay.

The QUASI-LOVE though. That gets me because. Ai. was so unsure about love even while what she had was so genuine.

hope you enjoy these songs~ I wish I could bring some songs from mainstream pop culture too, o<-< but I think there are some things that anime...ish songs can fill. I mean, I feel they're REALLY fitting.. don't you think? and they're all good songs!! I promise they're all worth giving a listen to!

I'm so glad you found love towards this ship the way I do! ;v;)/ Thanks for reaching out to me to tell me how you feel!! See you around, I look forward to sharing more things with you, and everyone!

[nothing-suspicious-in-there]

Slightly more dramatic than necessary for what we know so far, but still, maybe it will finally deliver on some more Good Koga Trauma as I hoped it would, to make this drama look more appropriate.

The way this is going has the potential to address a number of less-than-ideal things that i had an issue with in this manga, even if nothing big enough to make me stop reading a story I understand to be casual:

After the renewed attention given to Koga not studying, and then this I start to have hope that I can engage with this story on a slightly higher ground than just cute gay fluff. (Slighlty, it's still a romance manga not fucking. utena or something. but my expectations are so low nowadays that the co-occurrence of something I like also being decently written is akin to a miracle to me.)

So I'm not raising my hopes too much, but potentially these things would be real good if they happened (so Incredibly basic I feel dumb by typing them out like it's complex analysis, but again my bar is low):

Small setups

First of all a number of things that happened casually in the last few chapters seemingly without much bigger significance about them or seemingly solved could be leading up to this and make matters worse.

We have Koga having a dramatic moment of being jealous of herself. All very irrational and silly. But it's clearly been shown to be rooted in trauma (that again I hope it'll explore better to give it more weight than it currently has, it's very vague and not well defined enough to keep up these moments of drama as effectively as it should.) This clearly serious moment for her is created and resolved in the span of 3 4-pages chapters, barely anything.

Many previous plot points that have been raised simply get "resolved" extremely quickly and/or easily like this one, or her social anxiety, her feeling of not belonging, her bad grades, aya fearing koga will relocate. In an episodic story where the author is not concerned with exploring stuff or giving it time to stew or a realistic length for its resolutions. it means the story is just like that, it's a matter of what you like and want to write. And I personally don't enjoy this episodic-ness as much as the alternative.

In a story concerned with having satisfactory earned resolutions and a long development, those issues are shelved for later use, and given the last chapters I'd really hope the author is showing that she's writing the latter type of story, since it's what I prefer. Having a dramatic moment with Koga and then telling us it's resolved in .5 seconds without exploring it deeply just feels like a missed opportunity for me and I'd love if this and other small details would come together to do just that.

The fact that her social problems are resolved so anti-climatically is. fine for a casual story, but it would be more juicy if they were not solved as easily as just her hanging out with a couple more people, since the story is also trying to sell me that these issues are pretty bad and somewhat traumatic in nature. Maybe this will go somewhere more interesting now that it's getting de-shelved, and hopefully it wasn't supposed to be a neat and tidy resolution before.

The last fer chapters also has a very small undercurrent that I could have done without, specifically something like that small aya remark on how she likes Koga in the girls' uniform while knowing full well Koga's not into it (not Aya's fault, but also not ideal to say to a butch lol), or the fact that Koga's clearly-serious-if-still-irrational-and-obviously-dumb fear on how she's not really why aya keeps hanging out with her was "resolved" by being dismissed as a dog whining for attention. I myself made Mirror Dog Comic jokes literally the second i finished chapter 76, the story doing that joke themselves was funny and Koga's hilariously wrong ofc, but also huh, then the dog joke went on for like 3 chapters and idk. With how it was all framed it doesn't give off the best respect-for-the-character-vibes specifically because it's also framed as the result of some serious issues.

I always thought that this manga, unlike some other stuff, kinda give the impression it respected its butch character enough, or butchness in general, none of that "haha let's give the butch character girly clothes and laugh at how uncomfortable they are lol" manga loves. She does dumb shit and is called out for that, but she feels like an actual person, neither a complete dumbass nor the coolest person on earth. Recently though there was this slight movement toward "what a dumbass" in a way that doesn't feel earned and clashes against the subtext of why she's acting like that, this or the thing with aya just randomly saying she likes her in the girls' uniform were kinda strange. I'd really like if this is less of a falling into bad habits with depicting butch characters and more a setup for what'll happen after the end of this chapter, adding to the pile of things thanks to which Koga will feel misunderstood.

The premise

Another thing that developing her trauma does is solving an half-issue that has been there since the start of this manga and is kinda a problem of this type of premise unless you do a really good job at making sure to solve it. When you're writing a standard romance story where two people are, more or less, still supposed to get together in the end and You the audience are supposed to Want them to get together, it's important to not write the story in such a way that makes the audience Not want them together. And when you're writing a story where one of the person, knowing full well they're doing this, lies about significant aspects of themselves and who they are while also trying to pursue a non-casual relationship with them either platonic or romantic with no sufficient excuse about why they're doing it, you're writing one of the two people the audience needs to be on board with being together just. Being an Asshole. Full stop.

Especially if they know the other person have a crush on them, they see each other in another setting (school) and have no indication to believe they are not straight, but that last thing would make no difference about them still lying. Unless you give that character enough of a reason on why they can't but do that, if they have any freedom to not lie to who they want to be friend and/or partner with, they are fullstop an asshole who you don't in any way want to get together with the other person in the end. (I'm talking about normal romance plots and their audience, not toxic romance stories and their audience, which by definition need the opposite to happen to get the story they want ofc).

All manga I previously read with the same premise as kinioto had this issue, which honestly I don't think it's that wild to understand and correct, but apparently it is lol. So kinioto fortunately is at least miles away better in this regard for a number of reasons, but it's not exactly perfectly ideal either because while it does try to set up an excuse for koga to act this way and it's technically a solid one, for now it has been expressed in very vague and wishy-washy ways that don't sit as well with me.

We have an entire bonus chapter about Koga being bullied for her gender non-conformity with Ryhthm B, which would give her a very solid case against being an asshole (she's just a temporary and involuntarily one.) If the issue is that she was very afraid that, by saying the truth, aya would not care to keep being friends and would had no reasons to keep to herself Koga's gender-nonconformity, so Koga was afraid of the consequences of the whole school knowing, plus the story telling me there's trauma in there, her lack of any other platonic relationships and loneliness, general self-worth issues, being Gay(tm) and wanting to interact with aya, but also still looking only for a platonic relationship (or it'd be way way worse to justify), and being a teenager with no idea about what she's doing, it's a reasonable amount of leeway.

None of this excuses Koga from lying to Aya but it does paint a picture of her not Being an asshole, just accidentally acting asshole-y, which give her the opportunity to stop not too long after they become friends, repair the damage and do better later.

Another thing it does right is that Aya is Pissed when she finds out, and for good reason. It's still kinda eh that she's doing a 180 so quickly after the school concert and I'd have preferred if she had more time to reflect but still, at least the story says it was fucked up and aya is obviously angry at being lied to constantly by someone that knew she had a crush on them and that Aya thought Koga was a guy but said nothing while pretending to be said guy. There was no romantic relationship previous to this, they were just starting to be friends, and Koga asks her to start anew with their friendship after doing something she was terrified of doing as goodwill. Works fine enough in these circumstances.

Given it's very crucial that one of your protagonists doesn't become an asshole accidentally while you write it's important for Koga's motivation to lie to be sufficient to bear the weight of this premise. And until know she only vagued about being afraid Aya would not want to be friends with her, a very dumb thing to say since if you're lying 1. she's not actually friends with You, 2. she won't want to be friends once she eventually finds out, and if she's in the position of not finding out she's barely a friend, more like a casual acquaintance. The reasons Koga gives to why she's afraid of saying the truth doesn't do enough to escape the asshole allegations, it's either she's an asshole or she's Dumb of Ass in a way that's not well-written trauma induced and it's just random Idiot Ball induced. As I said Rhythm B thankfully starts to give a solid reason on why she would want to lie, but while I can infer it from there, this is too crucial of a point to leave only as a subtext sorta-text vague contradictory thing, and I need it to be fleshed out more so that it's unmissable that that's the reason she's lying, and that said reason is solid. If now there'll be any exploration of her issues we may be getting this clarity that would retroactively solve this half-issue for me.

Ok I'll stop typing about shit we don't even know will happen, peace

[hikennosabo]

trimax vol 12 random thoughts

okayyy i'm FINALLY done with all the art i had to do this week so i can focus on writing this post lol. this volume is so much, i don't know if i want to read it again...

i love that vash is ourple on the cover <3

chapter 1:

i like domina, she's cute. tbh i wasn't sure whether she was a plant at first because i assumed they were all blonde...

wait, pause, tell me about this. what are the circumstances of the other plant fusion incidents. were they rebelling against humans, same as knives? or were there other reasons??

vash's black hair is so STRIKING. i'm sad about it but i also kind of love how it looks...

the memory montage has been talked about like a dozen times by now, so idk if i can add anything that hasn't already been said... LOL. there's some deep cuts in here, i don't even remember them all... it really speaks to vash's memory of people. and there are anime-only characters too, which is cool! part of me wants to go through each page and label everyone but... nah.

ik they've taken a bit of a backseat in the latter half of the manga, but i feel like meryl and milly's section should be larger. :( and for that matter, legato takes up a lot of real estate on his page?! that's kind of unexpected... although legato and vash DID have that seven-month-long psychic battle... and i guess legato is on vash's mind rn because of the coins... so i suppose it makes sense...

a few things about the ghg page - first of all, WHO is that on the top right?! is that supposed to be elendira??? is it??? because it's not like vash doesn't know what she looks like, they've met face to face!

secondly... livio. this is his old self. face in shadow, skull mask visible. i don't think this necessarily means vash still views livio like this; that's unlike vash. livio's face is obscured while his mask and long hair are highlighted, both things that he has discarded along with his identity as a gung-ho gun. this is vash remembering the gung-ho guns specifically. it IS a bit sad that this is what livio gets... i suppose drawing him twice might've been redundant, but still...

a bunch of people have already pointed out wolfwood's grave being depicted next to rem and given equal weight/importance (page space) as her, so all i'll say is that scrolling through the pages and expecting to see wolfwood but getting hit with his grave instead was a fucking gut punch that i DID NOT need.

anti-plant missiles... so plant incidents have been common enough that they'd need to be built in the first place, and built into the fleet at that...

so they CAN be broken apart?! i see...

domina is so funny.

the ark just straight up vanishing really had me think for a second "wow! so that's the power of thor's hammer!" but no it just teleported. LOL

knives... oh, knives... he's looking less and less like a person. i'm probably supposed to be horrified, but i'm just sad.

chapter 2:

knives is the first creature in the universe to warp... wow... he's so talented~ i'm proud of him~

domina is so CUTE!!!! it's too bad what happens to her right after this... and it's impressive how likable she becomes in just a few short scenes. it makes her death more effective than it would be otherwise.

nothing to say, i just think they're cute.

knives putting his feelers out to interfere with the earth fleet was brought up in... volume 9, i think... so it's not like this was completely unexpected. (also "feelers" is kinda cute... like a bug...) wow... knives is fighting so smartly~ i'm proud of him~

i speculated a few volumes ago if knives would try to "save" the earth plants, but he just want to kill them... or at least kill the independents. i still feel like i don't have a full picture of what it's like for plants on earth or the relationship between humans and independents. either way, it's unconscionable to knives that independents would work with humans like this...

chapter 3:

perhaps i shouldn't laugh but shooting straight up into the air is such a dumb thing to do. haha get rained on idiots.

brad is stunned at their idiocy, lol.

chronica worrying over domina is sweet. she's not always "cold and calculating"...

i love how this spread is framed, with the black bars on the top and the bottom. it's cool.

and the double meaning of the chapter title. "the interceptor"... knives intercepting the earth fleet and vash intercepting knives's connection to the fleet...

uhhh... i don't have that much to say about this chapter...

chapter 4:

the universe conspired to deal me massive psychic damage by having 'brother' by gerard way start playing on shuffle while i was rereading this bit... i don't NEED this right now!!!!!

NOT THE IMAGE OF THEM AS KIDS

I'M EATING ROOOOOCCKKKKSSSS!!!!!!!

people have already pointed out knives covering his eyes (and vash covering his own with his sunglasses), it was a fucking punch to the gut the first time i read this chapter and it still is and i am fucking EATING!!!! ROCKS!!!!!!

is that REALLY the reason why you don't want to see your brother's corpse, knives?? is it really???

people have already talked about vash's little gunman speech so i won't say too much about it, except that it's fitting that we started this story with vash being just that - a gunman - we didn't even know about him being a plant - and now vash is determined to end this story as a gunman. well, "end," sort of. there's still 2 volumes left.

also, we're recycling chapter titles again for some reason... we already had a chapter titled "the gunslinger" in volume 6...

chapter 5:

should i call these their "teenage years"? ...i'm writing that in my notes.

i wish i could express my emotions about the plant twins beyond incomprehensible screaming and eating various things (rocks, glass, drywall...) because then i might have more substantial things to say LOL...

the virgin "did you really just shoot me?!" 98 knives vs the chad "if you're going to shoot me, improve your aim" manga knives

y'know, up until now, i never really bought the claim that "tristamp made knives more morally grey," because i was thinking along the lines of "the morality of his actions didn't change, orange just took a magnifying glass to his emotions, so he's easier to sympathize with," but... they COMPLETELY changed the context of knives cutting off vash's arm, huh?! i guess they DID make him more morally grey...

he's ready to go down with knives. if you'll excuse me, i'll be crunching on some more rocks.

chapter 6:

can't help but remember baby knives saying "we can work through a few little differences if we just talk to each other" :')

trying to talk to the plants... yeah... good idea! it's too little too late for knives because EVERYTHING is for him, but... it's a good idea!

okay, so the story of the village. they got kicked out of the city for being "contaminated," so they built their own village and had to resort to stealing from travelers to survive. right... chaining vash up is pretty extreme but i suppose it's indicative of their level of desperation. (especially since vash still looks like a teenager, like, as far as the villagers knew, the person they attacked was just a normal human kid...)

obviously this story doesn't move knives in the slightest, but even with the explanation for the villagers' actions, the bit about "the contaminated humans being kicked out of the city" is a different example of human cruelty that knives could've spat back at vash, lol. like, they were kicked out, and just left out there to die i guess? with no resources or plan to supply them with anything? except for the lone girl who seemed to be bringing canned goods back, but 1. this wasn't a regular thing for her since she hadn't been back in three years, 2. she was literally the only person trying to help, and 3. it was just luck that she wasn't contaminated to begin with - if it weren't for that there would be NO ONE trying to help. not trying to justify knives's worldview or anything but i just think this is interesting because even though now we know and understand the villagers' situation, there's still an undercurrent of human cruelty in this story, and that's something that can't be erased and something that knives invariably clings to to justify his actions.

and his worldview gets even further reinforced in this moment because the military starts shooting at the ark lmao. but then it's vash's friends to the rescue...! the takeaway from all this and the entire ethos of this story as a whole is "humans are complicated," they're not all bad and not all good, vash acknowledges that and tries to see it, and knives does not, blahblahblah it's been said a hundred times...

microorganisms :)

someone in the tag pointed this out already, but the way the earth fleet talks about independent plants is weird. "salvage," "persona," "repair"... that's weird, right? in my last post i said they were giving like, advanced-AI-robot vibes, and this is doing nothing to change that impression. but they're made of flesh and blood...

chapter 7:

knives is wrong about human nature but there sure are a lot of humans in this story who piss me off. fuck you, military guy!!

we all knew that vash was going in to this fight prepared to die, that his plan is to bring knives down with him, but actually seeing him bleeding so much... hurts.

LIVIOOOOO!!! I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!

he's so cute, what the fuck!!!! "i'm mr livio"?!?! oh my god. i'm sobbing. he's so cute.

gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. manipulate, mansplain, malewife.

this image of a single man facing down an entire military...!!! he's so cool!!!!!! also he's kinda caked up too

and he just bowls through them like it's nothing!!! i LOVE watching him fight, livio is one of the coolest fighters in this entire story, i'm so glad we get to watch him kick some ass!!!

chapter 8:

they said it's just a projection, but this is what i was imagining the "consciousness" of the merged plants to look like...

no concept of the self except for independents, i suppose. so do all plants think the same? last volume, vash said something about billions of thoughts being "exchanged," so there is SOME mental distinction between individuals, i think...

i wonder what information chronica is gathering from this, exactly. just the essentials, since time is limited? or all of it, every single detail?? knives's past and trauma included??

he's talking as if this is a mercy. i wonder if that's really how he's justifying this to himself.

oh, just this panel by itself is a fun dynamic. i don't actually expect elendira to live to the end (sadly...) but i AM looking forward to seeing these two fight again. interestingly, she doesn't seem surprised that livio is still alive...

this last bit of the chapter feels like all the dominoes falling at once, lol. elendira and livio, chronica and knives... and then BOOM! LEGATO JUMPSCARE!! ...from. seemingly nowhere. where did he come from. also i still don't know what to make of his... iron maiden... giant matryoshka... i don't know what or who this is!! it's driving me nuts!! is it going to be explained?!?!

chapter 9:

it's SO funny that vash says this because I WAS ALSO WONDERING THE SAME THING!!! the previous volume put so much emphasis on the coins that i assumed vash would fight legato FIRST and THEN move on to knives. but he never wanted to fight legato to begin with, so it makes sense that he'd skip right to knives LOL.

knives GRINNING when the earth ship appears and then staring straight down the barrel of their cannon... he's not afraid at all. dare i say this scene is pretty cool. knives and chronica are now on even ground in terms of knowledge about each other, and knives probably knows this, but he's still so confident. and then the cannon fires and he BLOCKS it. i shouldn't be complimenting him so much in this post. but i must give cool credit where cool credit is due. this scene is COOL!!!!

oh, so this IS how his powers worked all along, okay... i was confused. i guess this means his power in tristamp is different... because it's clearly NOT strings... it's just straightforward telekenisis i think... hmmm...

... i'd previously heard about what legato's backstory entails, but actually seeing it...

...

knives isn't even visible in this spread. legato hasn't even seen knives yet. but the framing of legato looking at the vast sky, the light, is evocative enough.

legato being able to even control knives with his strings... well, he was able to (somewhat) control vash, so it makes sense that he could, but i've never really thought about the implications until now. under different circumstances he could've been a massive obstacle to knives, if not outright stopped him.

new hair, new outlook, right?

and okay, sure, it's likely that knives's train of thought was "i could use this power for myself, so i won't kill him," but i want to believe there was something else... legato was used and abused by humans, and knives isn't stupid, he can see that just from looking at the state legato's body is in. so maybe knives recognized there's a kinship between them, even if he'd never admit it... i dunno, it's just, his expression here... it's hard for me to describe, but it's something...

oh, this is making me feel something. this is implying knives gave legato his name, right? that's... oh man. i want to say that it was kind. i don't know if i can call it a bond, but their relationship, whatever it is, is deeper than i imagined.

"...but in that moment, i was reborn." new name, new life, new purpose...

on a lighter note, now i'm thinking about where legato's name actually comes from, and i'm remembering this comment from nightow:

i want to believe knives thought the same thing... LOL. as for "bluesummers," "blue" obviously came from his hair, but "summers"... i want to say maybe it was summer at the time of this flashback, but i'm not actually sure if this planet has seasons...? do they ever say if it does??

oh, legato... my legatito... i should've known he'd be one of my favorite characters the instant he showed up in tristamp voiced by kouki uchiyama LOL. i've laughed at him a lot and made fun of him a lot but i really do genuinely love him.

i fully do not expect him to live to the end... but i'm looking forward to seeing whatever else he does before he goes...

[lucy-and-rebecca]

Why I think it's high time Natsu and Lucy got together

One of the first post I made on this blog was two years ago when NaLu made it into tumblr's top 100 ships that year. I made another post last year when they made the list. Now after another year I'm making this post because they didn't make it into the list this year.

Now I understand that whether a ship makes it into the top 100 on a platform like Tumblr says absolutely nothing about the ship, but it does say something about the fandom around that ship. When NaLu did make it into the list it felt good, not because it meant the ship was somewhat popular but rather it meant the fandom was active. It meant people still cared.

And I understand that there are still a lot of talented people making art or doing analysis or just sharing their thoughts on NaLu but there is very little to talk about. The fandom is tired and frustrated, rightfully so. NaLu not making it into the top 100 is a reflection of that.

Seeing that list come out made me realise that it has been two years since I because active in the fandom, which was around the time I started reading 100 years quest. Two years.... of absolutely nothing.

Let me make one thing clear, I don't doubt Natsu and Lucy will end up together. You have to misunderstand so much of fairy tail to think they might not end up together. I'm not worried about if it will happen, I'm worried about when and how.

100 years quest has given NaLu fans scraps. It has given us one or two good moments and a few panels of Lucy saying Natsu's name with a worried expression on her face and a sea full of fanservice and absolute nonsense. Now I love slow burn, I really do but NaLu is something beyond that.

Male dominated fandom spaces like the fandom for a shonen manga have a tendency to look down on romance and shipping. Shipping is seen as something awful and sheer act of shipping two characters together means taking something vital away from those characters and reducing then to nothing. If you have been in shipping fandoms for a while I'm sure you would have come across posts or comments like these.

But the simple truth is, romance is part of fairy tail. It Always has been. It is part of the story and it is part of the characters' lives. Even though Gruvia also deserves more screen time I absolutely love the incredible positive influence Grey and Juvia had on each other. Seeing Grey slowly turn into someone who can be open about his feelings for Juvia felt great to wach. Gruvia fans have also written some of the best analysis of the characters in fairy tail that I've ever read. Romance has been unarguably vital part of both of these characters and both of them would be worse version of themselves without it.

Gruvia scenes also make a bit jealous. Because that's what NaLu is missing. Natsu as a character doesn't change that much. We learn more things about him but he rarely grows as a person. Whatever growth he had in the series is tied to Lucy. Natsu's effect on Lucy is a lot more clear but I think that's because it's easier to notice Lucy becoming more agressive than Natsu controlling himself.

The lack of romance has been detrimental to both Natsu and Lucy as a character. Romance and romantic relationship are part of most people's life and neither of them had the opportunity to properly experience that. They are the main characters of the series and for them to truly grow as characters they need to make progress in their relationship.

Romantic relationships takes time and effort and having the main protagonist go through all of that as they are on the 100 years quest can make for a really compelling narrative. But we aren't getting that because NaLu is reserved for last. I'm afraid they will get together in the final chapter and live "happily ever after" but there is no such thing as a happily ever after. Two people officially getting together is not the end of the relationship. Figuring out how to make a proper romantic relationship work will also help them grow as people. If they got together in the last chapter we will miss out on that.

If Natsu and Lucy only get together in the last chapter, their stories, their growth will feel incomplete. A romantic relationship will be good for them and it needs to happen as soon as possible.

[aashi-heartfilia]

I was initially very shocked and bothered by the news of Yukino gaining Star Dress. I like Yukino and I'm not really against her being able to Star Dress, but what bothered me was how easily she was able to obtain it. Rather the moment itself was just so underwhelming and rushed. I was bothered by this at first, but then I started thinking about in a different way. Yukino is a side character who uses the same kind of magic as Lucy, the main character.

When Lucy Star Dressed for the first time in Tartarus, it was this big, grand and amazing moment and it was the same as the second time she did it after reuniting with Natsu and Happy. It makes a lot of sense. She's the main character. Almost anything she does has a lot of significance, especially gaining a new power. Even more so when you take in to account her background and journey to getting stronger.

Yukino has been practicing magic longer than Lucy. She was already able to open two spirit gates before Lucy was able to, something that is considered impressive in itself. Honestly, Yukino getting Star Dress so easily kinda makes sense.

When Yukino Star Dressed, it was nothing. Like there was nothing to it at all. Literally. Like, 'Poof' there it is! Now let's move on. I think that was the point. The moment felt insignificant because it was. The things that Yukino does (including Star Dressing) aren't as important as the things Lucy does because she is a side character and not the main character.

I truly don't mean any disrespect towards Yukino or her fans nor am I trying to defend the writers. This is just the way I chose to interpret the scenes. I understand and felt the frustration and outrage of the fans of both girls. Yukino deserved to have a great moment and Lucy deserved to have her struggles recognized and sympathized with.

That's another thing I took away from this. Lucy's reaction to Yukino.

I know it was there for comedic effect, but I couldn't help but look into it more. Lucy's always insecure about her own abilities and calls herself weak. She doubts herself quite often. When she saw how easily Yukino was able to Star Dress, it must have really shocked her since it took her a year to learn how to do it.

I think Lucy must have felt somewhat insecure right then and maybe even incompetent. But that isn't the case. I feel like Lucy tends to hold herself to the standards of her peers (Natsu, Gray, Erza, etc.) and that's why she feels inferior.

However, one of the things that make Lucy who she is is the fact that she does struggle. Everything that Lucy has achieved she worked hard for. She's someone who perseveres. There are times where she fails, but she gets back up, learns from her mistake and trys again. Lucy learning nine Star Dresses in a year is way more impressive in my eyes than Yukino learning two in two minutes.

It's why I wished there was some sort of separate chapter that really explored Lucy's training while Fairy Tail was disbanded.

So, I don't think Yukino getting Star Dress and the way it happened takes anything away from Lucy, at least not anymore. I think it was poorly handled and would much rather it not have happened at all, I don't think it makes Lucy any less unique. She's a unique character after all.

She still has Urano Metria, can summon three Zodiac spirits at once and can combine two Star Dresses together to make a more powerful form. Heck, even Yukino said that that skill was way too advanced for her. So, Lucy is still the number one Celestial Spirit wizard (Oh, and casted Gottfried by herself since she used her own magic to make copies of Yukino and Hisui).

P.S. I honestly don't think Yukino's Star Dresses are going to make frequent appearances. Though I guess that depends on how present Sabertooth will be in the manga going forward. If they do make multiple appearances, I'll treat them like how I treat Lucy's fan service; unnecessary, uncool, unwelcomed and sometimes pretend it doesn't exist (I'm referring to Yukino's Star Dresses, not Yukino the character nor Sabertooth). But I'll put up with it because I enjoy Tumblr and Lucy Heartfilia.

2nd P.S. In my personal opinion, Yukino's Star Dresses don't look that good to me. Lucy's forms are more simplistic in concept and design and Yukino's just look like they're doing too much. But I'm curious about what you think and sorry for the long ask. This is my first time writing anything on Tumblr and I went over board.

Yes! More or less, we cannot change what has happened. It was a bad decision on his part nevertheless. I'll just ignore its existence for now, Yukino SD that is.

[shoichee]

Paradox

[Kise x f!Reader]

Chapter 1-2 can be found here!

Chapters 3-4

Word Count:

Part 3: 3740 | Part 4: 2913

soulmate!au, enemies to lovers!au, manga!kise, cursing!kise to bits, LONG SERIES FIC

Hana is the name I decided to give to the brunette who flirted with Haizaki in s3

Synopsis: Kise despises people like you more than anyone else, the type of people who are shallow, coquettish, and so high-strung on acquiring a soulmate more than anyone else. Nothing good ever comes out of someone who hangs out with the brunette girl along with Haizaki.

You despise two-faced people like him... that's what you like to tell yourself. After all, you're only honest about what you want with people, and if it can help you get a soulmate faster... Where's the crime in that? High-and-mighty people like Kise who didn't believe in soulmates were pretentious, and he was no exception. And you'll do whatever it takes to get what you want, even if it means throwing away your heart in the process, because happiness will come to you once you're with your soulmate... you just know it.

current 🏷: @nadav-ii @carinacassiopeiae @kendrex13 @roppongiperfume @thesongstressayre @kimigiri09 @takatul @evierena @one-one-one-one @seijurosempress @inum4k1

Chapter 3, Kise’s POV

———

“Wh-Wh-Wh-What?!” Kasamatsu sputters, with the brightest crimson on his cheeks. You only give a lopsided smile at his reaction, but your eyes show that you weren’t joking in the slightest. “Wh-What the hell?!”

Moriyama only bemoans the development, arm slung over his face in such a dramatic way that Kise completely ignores him to focus on the back of your head.

Is she fucking serious? There’s no way…

“Yet another cute girl escapes from me—my soulmate is still out there waiting for me to rescue her…!” Moriyama cries out, though still, no one bothered to heed his words at all. “Surely, you must have mistaken our captain for me? I sense a connection between us!”

You merely turn to Moriyama before you smile that uncanny grin. “Sorry, sorry! I think Kasamatsu-senpai is the one, though!”

Ouch. Kise looks to see Moriyama absolutely heartbroken from your words. She definitely pulls some punches of her own.

Kasamatsu, frozen this entire time, barely recovers with a cough. “... H-Have we met before?”

You laugh, mirth seeping into the sound as Kasamatsu turns redder, clearly affected by your reaction to his dumbfounded question. “Well, it’s fine if you don’t remember me, but last week, we briefly talked… And, I accidentally bumped into you when I tried leaving in a rush!” You stop dramatically, holding your finger up for effect. Clearly, Hayakawa was buying your theatrics. Kise rolls his eyes. “Then you made the effort to run all the way to me, tapped my shoulder, then shyly gave back my notes. And like, that’s totally unlike the you from your matches! And I thought… ‘oh my gosh, I think he might fulfill my requirements from my soulmate letter!’ So the next week came, and here we are! I was hoping to find you guys at practice… lucky me!”

Kise stops listening to you halfway to pick up a ball across the court. Everyone else remains stuck in their spot, as if you had somehow forced them under a spell to listen to you ramble.

“Uh… yeah…” Kasamatsu clears his throat, before he whips his head around to shout at everyone around you two. “Well, what are you guys waiting around for?! Unless you really want me to kick your ass, then get moving!” Instantly, everyone scrambles to do something and to look busy, but every now and then, they steal a few glances while the captain’s attention is on you.

“Look…” he turns back to face you, voice instantly turning into more of a mumble once more. “W-What’s your name…?”

You beam at him. Kasamatsu bursts into a flurry of nervous coughs again at the sight.

“I’m (l/n) (y/n), ehe!~ ♪ It’s nice to meet you!”

Shut the hell up already, Kise groans in his mind. He dribbles faster to block your presence out, racing down the court to deliver a punishing dunk and letting the rim go with a rattle. How much can one person talk this much anyways? Kasamatsu-senpai, you’d kick me in the face right now if I did the exact same thing… you go way too easy on girls. He stops to look up in thought after the ball bounces unceremoniously away. Then again, I guess I go too easy on them too.

“R-Right.” Kasamatsu clears his throat. “So…” He averts his gaze, thick brows furrowed. “C-Could you… just… Could you wait here until we’re… done, so—”

“Sure thing!” You lean forward to catch his gaze, but Kasamatsu shrinks even further at your forward gesture. You even make the effort to pout at him, reducing Kasamatsu to nothing but a puddle. Kise turns to look at his captain, before he sighs.

Kasamatsu-senpai might need a bit of help here…

“Hey,” Kise briskly jogs over to the two of you, putting on a friendly smile to ease any tension. “Sorry about him. He’s not really used to this type of thing. Can you ease up on him?”

“You—!” Kasamatsu does a 180, ready to whoop Kise into oblivion, but you speak up before he grabs for him.

“Oops! Sorry, sorry! I’ll sit right over here… Don’t mind me! I won’t disturb any of you guys.” And you do exactly that, sitting on the raised platform of the stage overseeing the gym, dangling your legs and crossing them primly with your hands on your lap. You still had the same huge closed-mouth grin on you, though.

Her smile is… so weird.

Kise merely raises a brow, trying to get a good read on you. Something about you irritates him, and he knows plenty of reasons why. But before he can list them out in his head, Kasamatsu interrupts his thought process as he kicks him to get back on the court.

“O-O-Ow!! Kasamatsu-senpai?!”

“If you have time to ogle at someone, then you sure as hell have more than enough time to do eight laps around this perimeter!”

Kise glares at his captain. “I wasn’t ogling!!—erk—okay, okay! I got it, I’m running…!”

———

You sit there patiently, watching everyone nearly barf their lungs out from the drills and practice one-on-ones, but your expression hasn't changed for the most part. Kise can’t help but glance at you every so often. He can’t help it—not when you’re eyeing every single person on the court with scrutiny that doesn’t really suit your facial features. Worst part is, you keep your body near immobile, and you don’t blink much either. It’s off-putting—especially when only your pupils trail after Kasamatsu for extended periods at a time… It’s that unsettling and invasive, the way your gaze has that knowing, expecting glint to it. He looks around to see everyone doing the same thing he was, and hopefully, thinking the same sentiments.

So it’s not just me that feels off about her.

Still, he can tell that everyone’s trying to be polite and disregard you as much as they can, trying to ignore the fact that you’re a distraction. It’s probably because the Kaijo team has never had a girl like this up close to them.

But finally, grueling practice thankfully ends with no real casualties from Kasamatsu’s discipline, and everyone wearily begins to move to refresh, change, and pack up.

Of course, Kasamatsu immediately goes to check up on you even despite his obvious embarrassment. Even through great reluctance, his pride of having great responsibility overrides that hesitancy. While Kasamatsu stumbles over his words, Kise continues to stare at you suspiciously.

… What’s her plan here?

You were clearly friends with that girl from Teiko and somehow even on friendly terms with Haizaki. This can’t be good, not with you showing up out of nowhere and declaring such a bold statement to someone like Kasamatsu… and Kise had plenty of experience with girls who've done that to him… like that girl—Hana, was it?… who just happened to be past friends with you. Which makes a full circle. Who knows what you want from his captain?

It’s troublesome to go out of his way and interfere, but seeing Kasamatsu tripping over by being just in your presence… there’s no other answer than to figure you out and warn his captain of your true intentions. As he sorts out his next plan of action, he watches you give a coy smile and then even giggle when you see Kasamatsu’s reaction. His gaze sharpens.

The captain says something to you despite his shy stupor, and you reply something cheekily. Kise squints his eyes and strains his ears to try to eavesdrop in some way, but he sighs after a few seconds, deeming the effort fruitless. So he opts to wait outside the gym, leaning against the wall next to the door. While he waits, he ignores his teammates exiting the gym, too busy wracking his mind in trying to recall anything he knows of you back in Teiko. Luckily for him, it’s dark enough outside for him to be hidden in plain sight from unsuspecting people. Unfortunately, Kise was never someone into gossip or rumors (rightfully so), so any information in his brain about you is nearly nonexistent. He groans into his hands at the realization.

“Well, well! Look what we have here!” Your bright voice cuts through the still of the night, even louder than the incessant cicadas. He jolts, his face suddenly rising from his hands to stare at you. Has he been mulling over this for that long? How did you manage to spot him? Though, granted… he was standing near the door. He looks behind you to see that you’re the only one left; it looks like even Kasamatsu went home on his own.

You shoot him what he assumes a concerned look and walk to him, but he only gives you a raised brow, still debating whether or not to put on a cheerful front to dissuade you. But before he can stand up completely straight to face you, you suddenly jump to his side and sling your arm over his neck to further bring him down to your height.

“Ehhhh? Now what seems to trouble you?” you muse, giving a little laugh. “Kise-kun, right? I remember you. Quite a reputation you’ve got for yourself all these years, huh?” He immediately glares at your face—unbelievably close to his, by the way—and roughly shakes himself from your grasp to step away from you. He gives you a pointed look, that arrogant aura he’s so acquainted with using for people he knows doesn’t deserve his respect.

“What’s your deal?”

You only blink at his question and tilt your head, crossing your arms to mull over his words. He doesn’t know if you’re doing this to mock him or if you’re that slow.

“My deal?” you inquire. “Eh… well, I guess I like communicating with people so openly. Oh—oops, that’s a scary look on you! My bad, my bad! I won’t throw an arm over you anymore—”

He gives a frustrated quick huff, deciding to get to the point. “What are you planning to do with Kasamatsu-senpai? You think just ‘cause you’re a girl, you can push people around like this? You don’t just go up to anyone and declare that they’re your soulmate or whatever.”

“Ohhhh. You’re concerned about your captain, aren’t you?” You smile at him, but Kise doesn’t like the implications of your “epiphany.” Did you just completely ignore what he said?

Yeah, I’m more concerned about the shit YOU might pull on him, rather than Kasamatsu-senpai himself. But he keeps that thought to himself. Saying that to you may cause you to get the further wrong idea. Besides, he supposes there’s some merit to your words… he does care for his captain, even if what Kasamatsu does is his own business.

“Whatever you’re doing…” Kise says, trailing off to watch your face. “You better not plan anything fucked up, or I’ll be there to pay it back tenfold before you know it. Better watch yourself.”

“My gosh!” you gape comically at him. “Are you really threatening a girl? Honestly, you’re such a brute! I haven’t done a single thing, and you’re getting on my case…” Even despite your words, your facial expressions remain quite placid, though Kise can see a slight furrow of your brows to show that his warning actually does hold some water.

Kise only rolls his eyes as he decides to walk past you. “Look, whatever Kasamatsu-senpai does is none of my concern, but you…” He turns around to briefly face you. “People like you who like to take advantage of the idea of soulmates to manipulate others like that—I don’t like your kind. You might’ve fooled the entire team, but I know who you really are.”

You finally give a real reaction, jumping at the spot and staring at him with genuine widened eyes of surprise. There it is, he thinks. But he puts his guard back up when he sees your next move. You give a crooked grin and that irritating titter that sounds unbelievably ingenuine.

“The ‘idea of soulmates,’ you say…” you repeat what he said, sounding almost offended somehow. “You say that as if it’s not a real thing in our lives. Like it’s just some concept.”

“Don’t twist my words,” he says evenly. “You know what I mean.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you reply. “You’re, like, so weird, Kise-kun. I just want to look for my soulmate… that’s not malicious in intent at all, is it?”

“You don’t need a soulmate to do what you want,” he coolly counters. “Ever thought about that?”

You give him an unreadable look before morphing your features into an exasperated smile. “Haha! Sounds like someone’s a miserable man! Cheer up, Kise-kun! Surely, someone as well-loved as you can find anyone with your preferences to take as your soulmate~ The rest of us normal folks actually have to try to look for ours. Woe is me, especially!”

Kise hardens his glare at you, clearly having a nerve touched by your words. You’re the umpteenth person out there constantly telling it to his face how his search for a soulmate is as easy as he breathes air. Easy? Yeah fucking right. You think you have me all figured out, don’t you?

“I’ll have you know that I don’t care for the soulmate shit. Don’t impose your values on me.”

“Well, then…” You lean forward with your arms crossed, giving him a wink. He scowls. “Don’t ‘impose your values’ onto me either. You’re just as suffocating as the people you look down on, you know.”

You then turn around, back to him but your face is still turned to the side to face Kise to stick out your tongue almost provocatively, as if to piss him off on purpose. And it’s working. “How about you keep your nose out of this? Honestly, people like you who act like they’re better and more righteous than everyone else are the worst.” You finally turn around completely to depart in the opposite direction of Kise, as if you had the final say.

He stands there to watch your back (oh, he’s boring holes into your back) as you skip away, not in the least reassured that you’d refrain from trying anything starting tomorrow. Especially from how you responded to him.

You’re even worse than that Hana chick.

———

“Kasamatsu-senpai…” Kise calls out, looking over to see Kasamatsu in deep thought. Another day, another practice, he would have thought, but immediately walking into the gym today, Kasamatsu isn’t at his usual spot of critically eyeing his teammates before practice. In fact… he’s distracted by a creased piece of paper. “... Don’t tell me that’s…”

“Huh? Oh, it’s just you.” The Kaijo captain flits his eyes from the paper to look at the 1st year before he goes back to concentrating on whatever’s written on the sheet. His thick brows knit together as he goes over the same line over and over, judging by how his pupils were moving back and forth. Kise cautiously walks to his side to try to get a peek… and every other team starter coincidentally has the same idea.

Kasamatsu doesn’t even bother to kick them off to practice, and everyone looks at each other with immense concern and confusion before Kobori is the one to call out his oddities. “Captain, is there something wrong? You’ve been a bit too quiet. You’re unnerving the team a little.”

“Yeah…” was all he absentmindedly said, and Kise shared a knowing look with his upperclassmen. Is it that bad…? Kise flanks on Kasamatsu’s right while Moriyama settles himself on the left, both peering over his shoulders to read the letter as fast as they humanly can:

Addressed to Kasamatsu Yukio:

Your soulmate has been to places you’ve never been before, yet you two will meet for the second time in a place they’d never normally wouldn’t be in. You will ironically meet them the first time in an ordinary commonplace where people utilize to travel about. The place is never a means to the end of a destination and is always bustling with eager activity of all kinds. You will accidentally encounter someone that is completely unlike you among a particularly busy crowd. The floors will be cold and gray, and the walls will be modern. It is long vertically but does not have much depth widthwise. Many doors are located in these types of places as a must. Your fated location, in particular, has many windows and plenty of sunlight shining in with ample ventilation. You do not—should not—think much of this location, like anyone else normally does not. Do not try hard to look for them, or you will certainly miss your first encounter with them. This location is not at the ground floor.

Kise only gets through half a page before Kasamatsu breaks through his stupor, doing an insanely quick prep before he lands a shoe on his cheek.

“K-K-Kasamatsu-senpai?!”

“Idiot! Who said you can snoop around?!”

“What?!” Kise rubs his cheek sullenly before he points an accusatory finger at the other team starters. “They were looking too!! How’s that fair?!”

But when Kasamatsu menacingly spares a glance at where Kise was pointing, the rest of the players already had the keen idea of feigning warming up, putting themselves a fair distance from the captain to avoid retributions. Kise merely balks at the turn of events.

You guys… You guys are so mean…!!

———

After many hours of kicks and spartan orders, Kise somehow finds himself trapped between Hayakawa and Moriyama when he starts heading for home. How do these things always happen to me? He inwardly groans, but truthfully, it’s not so bad with them… you just… need to get used to their quirks. VERY strange quirks. And Kise thinks he’s somewhat grown used to them. Somewhat.

“What was up with that ®ette(l)!?” Hayakawa exclaims, damn near shouting into his own eardrums even if he wasn’t trying. He never needs to try anyways. Kise winces at the sudden volume, putting his fingers into his ear holes to help alleviate the burst of pain. “The captain… he was acting ve(l)y st(l)ange, wasn’t he?!”

“Hayakawa-senpai… you’re a bit… too loud.”

Always too loud.

Moriyama answers the question as if Kise never spoke up to begin with. “Our captain was merely experiencing the awakening of the ultimate blessing… unforgettable romance!! Oh when will it be my turn…!”

And here, Kise thought he was the dramatic one. He merely gives an awkward, polite smile at the woe of his senior. “Though, Moriyama-senpai, the content of the letter was very simple and to the point… It’s not something to freak out over, anyways.” He shrugs with a heavy sigh. “Is it really that bad for Kasamatsu-senpai?”

“... We shou(r)d encou(l)age him to do his best!”

Unsurprisingly, both Kise and Moriyama squint at the offensive rebounder to decipher his words. There’s a moment of uncomfortable silence while the trio walks down the smooth concrete, dappled by the sunset rays filtered through the trees in the neighborhood. As if on cue, gentle wind tousles through their hair strands to emphasize the unnatural… silence? Lack of response? Kise opens his mouth.

“... Anyways. We should mind our own business. It’s his to deal with, you know?”

“I agree!” Moriyama nods aggressively, holding his chin with his forefingers in a “thoughtful” way. “This is the only way Kasamatsu can truly become a man and lead the rest of us! Then, we can utilize his newfound experience to help us all get a cute date… yes, yes… It’s truly a win-win situation!”

“... Right, Moriyama-senpai. Exactly what I said…”

———

Kise knows that he said to mind his own business… regarding Kasamatu and life in general. Definitely more of the latter than anything else.

But what the hell is going on?

Another day, another lifetime of mental toil arrives as he deftly avoids mobs of heads bobbing around him, his mind blurring voices of nauseating adoration as a form of his psyche’s first line of defense to protect the remnants of his sanity. He yawns, faintly registering more shrieks of devotion at the mundane action as he steps past Kaijo’s gates to face another army thrown at him—who, no doubt, were all at his beck and call if Kise truly wanted to take advantage of their blind loyalties. He could’ve been a great general of some sorts, using the crowds to fulfill the desires and whims he sometimes cooked up in his mind, but that idea itself—to use them how he pleased—is also equally revolting. They are always his enemies, so naturally, he never wanted anything to do with them. These are things he’s accepted long ago (actually recently, but that’s besides the point), but what he witnesses at this moment is something he definitely can’t bring himself to ignore and “mind his own business.”

Somehow, your giggle manages to pierce through the disorienting fog of all the censored murmurs and coos of everyone around him—grating and coquettish. He could’ve ignored it all the same—you weren’t the first (and certainly not the last) person to act in such an unashamedly way. But the sight of Kasamatsu with you completely forces Kise to focus his attention on you.

What the fuck is she doing?

Your arms are wrapped around his left arm, pushing yourself up to his side as your lips form a pout with a practiced innocence that Kise recognizes all too well. He’s pissed—no, terrified for his captain, but most of all, he feels sick. But Kise isn’t Kasamatsu’s caretaker or father—hell, he’s not even an upperclassman. He’s more than capable of shrugging her off if she goes too far, he reasons, even if he knew that line of logic is a pile of shit. And if he really needs help, the other senpais can help him out of there. He will mind his own business. For now, he finishes his thoughts with finality. With that note, he briskly walks to his first class of the day, relieved when you and Kasamatsu are gone from his field of vision. His shoulders relax and he releases a steady stream of air, closing his eyes for a momentary recovery. There are too many things to worry about right now, but for now, he’d rather focus on his upcoming English quiz than the what-if’s of your motives with someone like his captain.

You’re just like everyone else, after all.

Chapter 4, Reader’s POV

———

They say that when your soulmate is close within your proximity, your mood begins to lighten up substantially as a sign. It’s just a dumb rumor people spread around, you knew, and yet…

You want to believe in it so badly.

What’s the truth? What’s the lie? All you know is that your soulmate letter is the truth, and all the kisses you shared with countless people ended up being lies on top of lies. You want to believe that your emotions are telling you the truth for once, and that he isn’t like the others. Why would Kasamatsu look so genuinely surprised? Genuinely flustered? Genuinely trying to be nice to you? Why else has your heart begun to beat so fast around him—the first time it’s ever happened to you?

Turning to your side, you curl up your body, clutching your blanket closest to you in the hopes that you can force your body to fall asleep. Ever since you got that momentous letter, sitting daintily on top of the table two years ago, things haven’t been the same. But that should be a good thing, right?

Your fingers automatically move to touch your own lips, tingling at the memories of other countless lips it had already firmly locked with. Your heart just keeps sinking further down the more you run through every single moment.

I have to keep going, you insist, tossing to your other side to dispel those memories away into the backburner of your mind. I have to find my soulmate, I have to…

Otherwise, I…

“You don’t need a soulmate to do what you want…” You subconsciously conjure up an image of Kise back at the gym, eyes cold and brows harsh with a ferocious frown. At the intrusive thought, you form your own fierce frown. “Ever thought about that?”

That stupid ass motherfucker—you curse at him as if he was really there in person—I’ll show you…! When I get my happy ending, I’m gonna rub it in that ugly smug face of yours.

I’ll prove them all wrong, I’ll prove them all wrong, I’ll prove them all…

Somehow, through the cacophony of mantras to yourself, you fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

———

[Your soulmate is of similar age.]

You sigh to yourself as you recall the contents of your letters again, mind so distant from the current reality of your situation. But you’ll never sigh outwardly; instead, you give a placating smile to the people around you as you walk down the hallway, then up a floor to continue down another corridor. Because people always like girls who are friendly, sweet, and outgoing… Those girls are what draw in people the fastest. It’s quite a huge generalization, and you’re aware of that fact, but you also consider that it does hold some truth to it. Your face twitches with a familiar discomfort, but you refuse to let your smile fall, letting your eyes crinkle in an inviting, sweet manner that no person would ever have the heart to deny you a friendly greeting. The brightest flowers always attract the bees, so to speak. Naturally, you have to do your best to attract as many people as possible to you. How else would you find your soulmate?

[You will finally meet them when there is a fresh start—a new chapter—in your life.]

It’s midway through October, approximately six months since you became a 1st year at Kaijo. There must be something wrong… shouldn’t your “first chapter” happen when you first graduated out of Teiko? Or maybe around the time of Kaijo’s opening ceremony? The demoralizing realization almost makes you drop the grin, and to compensate, you grin even wider. Just in case.

“Ah, (l/n)-san!” a classmate called out, catching up to your skipping stride with hurried steps. “You’re so cheery today! Woke up on the right side of the bed today?”

“Awwww, Saori-chan!~” you chime without missing a beat. “Aren’t I always cheery? You’re teasing me, aren’t you!”

“I’d never!” She gave a mock gasp, but her slight giggle after the last syllable immediately gave her away. “I’m just pointing out the truth! It’s really refreshing whenever I see you happy… I think I can speak for most of us when we’re near you… I must be sounding super strange, huh?”

The truth… you wonder about that often.

“Honestly, it really does sound all weird, ehe! Buuuuut…!” you pause dramatically, pleased to see her leaning in out of anticipation. “Hearing that from you makes me happier, of course~” You playfully pinch her cheek with a wink, and you skip away when she immediately blooms a cherry red. You debated whether to blow her a kiss too, but if you were going to win over Kasamatsu’s heart, then you needed to remain steadfast. Of course, it’s a nice change of pace that you don’t have to do anything drastic for once to get someone’s heart beating. For once… you feel a great weight lifting from your shoulders at the realization. No more of any of that anymore—the kisses, cuddles, the games you force yourself to play to find the one. After all—

“W-whoa—!”

“E-eek?!”

Of course, you get distracted when you think too hard about these types of things. Saving a mental berating for yourself during class starting in half an hour, you immediately focus your attention on the poor person you accidentally manage to assail. But your eyes widen when you register a stuttering, comically red captain.

“… Kasamatsu-senpai?”

… After all, he is someone who can have blood rushing into his cheeks from just a simple gesture like a wink and a smile. He is an anomaly—a one-of-a-kind person who you’ve never seen anyone like before. Isn’t he also around your age?

[You will meet them once again when they are most unlike themselves…]

“S-S-Sorry…” He’s already stuttering before he can even face you, and you figure it’s because he recognizes a female-sounding voice coming from you. You quietly watch him pick up the stray papers that manage to flutter out of his binder from the untimely collision, and after he straightens himself, he cranes a neck, rubbing the back of it with his free hand. On second thought… you note. It may actually be harder to win over his affection if he can’t even look at me. And to think he was able to talk to me with such authority in the gym a couple days ago. Oh, what will I do with him…

“H-Huh…? Y-You…?” Kasamatsu finally brings up all of his nerves to at least hold proper eye contact for a solid four seconds before he darts his gaze back to the gray floor. There is no way for him to properly lead the conversation, from the looks of him cowering in your presence, so you decide to speak instead.

“Ah, sorry, sorry!” you say, hoping to break the ice with him. If you are more “normal” with him, as opposed to being your usual outgoing self, maybe he’d see you in a better light? “I wasn’t completely paying attention to my surroundings, and I really messed up, huh? Totally my bad!”

“I-It’s…” Kasamatsu dares to sneak a glance at your face before he turns away again. “... f-fine.” You open your mouth to perhaps talk about the weather or perhaps his class schedule for you to memorize later, but you falter when you see him glancing at you again before averting his eyes. Was there something on your face? You owlishly blink before a flirtatious grin finds its way onto your face again, and immediately, his cheeks predictably lights up a bright pink again.

“Wahhh…!” You lean forward up to his face, hands held together in a gesture of being in love. “You’re really adorable, did anyone tell you that before?~ I’m definitely the first, aren’t I? Right—right?”

“I—!” He’s balking at the shameless assumption, mouth half-opening… half-closing… his mind is in a state of limbo, and he’s being sent into overdrive. “I-I’m… I… mm… nn…” Instinctively, he stumbles a couple steps back, clutching the fabric in the front of his shirt in an attempt to calm himself.

“And wow!” you continue. “Didn’t we also have the same type of run-in the first time we met? I don’t think this is just a coincidence…” You stick your tongue out playfully, fully rendering him speechless and robbing him of any chance to recover his voice.

“N-nn…”

What are his habits? What are his likes? Dislikes? What are his passions and hopes and dreams? You wonder about the countless things you can elicit out of him. Any tidbit about him would be a good start in getting to know him—you tilt your head at him cutely while you continue to assess your options—but how do I ask for it when he’s constantly stuttering or avoiding girls in general? After all, you tried to charm him the other morning, but it was apparently too much for Kasamatsu to even think of any coherent response.

“There you are.” A flash of yellow catches your eye as swoons of mainly women follow close by. “Kasamatsu-senpai! Kobori-senpai has been looking all over for you… you’re going to be late at this point if you don’t hurry up, you know!” Almost as if his voice is a trigger, Kasamatsu whirls around to hurl the usual serving of insults.

“Hah?! Since when were you so confident to tell an upperclassman what to do again? You really want to have your ass kicked again, huh?!”

“Like I said—! They wanted me to go look for you! Not like I had a choice!”

Damn, way to ruin an opportunity like that. You give a quiet sigh as Kasamatsu waves at you shyly before he storms off to find his other teammates to berate them, though you know it was more out of politeness than care from his end. Interestingly, the ace of Kaijo remains behind, watching his senior disappear before he seemingly remembers that you are also here. Flashing a breezy smile at you, you resist your instinctive reaction to twitch an eye as screams fill up the hall in response. But of course, you deliver your own captivating curl of those lips, and suddenly, you sense an aura of hostility spiking towards your end. Ah… so it appears that they view me as a rival, hm?

“Ah… (l/n)-san, right?” Kise laughs, fiddling with a few strands as he tucks them behind his ear, revealing his piercing. “Are you alright? You look like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” Try as he might, but his cheeriness wasn’t able to hide his voice from slipping into a steely tone. … Is he taunting you?

This guy!—you give an airy laugh in response—He’s the fakest asshole I’ve ever seen! Who the fuck is buying this discounted act of his?! When you dare to look around casually though, everyone is hanging onto his every word.

“I guess it’s been getting chilly lately!” you reply. “Maybe I should see the infirmary later for a check up… Thanks for the concern though, Kise-kun!~ But um… shouldn’t you also head to class, too? The warning bell’s gonna ring soon, right?” Even with the friendly tone, you place your hands on your hips while raising a suspicious brow, making sure to jut out your dominant hipbone to emphasize your figure. There’s only so much patience you have in trying to be diplomatic with someone like him. You see no benefit in doing so either, but then again, maybe being on good terms with Kise would allow you to get closer with his captain. Still, Kasamatsu doesn’t hesitate to dropkick him and knock down his ego a notch at all… maybe it wouldn’t matter as much if you just openly hate him. Options, options… Perhaps for now, you’ll see what Kise’s up to.

Ah… You slowly blink. What if he was actually trying to get Kasamatsu away from me just a moment ago? Wouldn’t his upperclassmen classmates come get their captain themselves instead of sending a 1st year to him? Either possibility can happen, but logically… the first option would’ve been more convenient and probable to happen. You scowl at the realization, but just as quickly, you form a tight-lipped smile in an attempt to recover. I warned his ass to stay out of my business too! And to think he’d try to butt in…

“You’re definitely right!” Kise interrupts your train of thought with a bright affirmation. “So I’ll be going on my way to class. You should go too, before you end up late!” You don’t miss the way his eyes go flat on you before he turns to walk away, back to you, immediately pulling away the entire crowd along with him.

“Kise-kun!! Who was that?!”

“Please look at me!”

“No, me!!”

“She’s nothing special at all!”

While it doesn’t hurt to think about his motives, there’s only so much speculation can do within a situation like this. Being openly hostile in front of everyone would serve no one good, and your reputation would tank. And if you lose your reputation, finding soulmates would end up being more difficult than necessary. Besides, if Kise wants to keep playing this farce of roleplay game of “shining knight,” why not join him as another player of “femme fatale sorceress”? Two can play this game.

Don’t worry, you muse to the mobs ahead. That imposter’s all yours.

———

Obviously, anyone can see just how passionate Kasamatsu is about basketball… more than anyone else. Probably even more than the Generation of Miracle guy, Kise. You giggle to yourself, ecstatic to have some type of progress in getting closer. If I learn about basketball, you reason, then maybe he’d have an easier time talking with me? You knew what the “Generation of Miracles” were all about; you’d have to live under a rock to not hear a single thing about them. They’re on the local news, the latest mags, and on the biggest media trends. Many people constantly speculate about their potential soulmates and what they’d be like, even going so far as to associating their known ideal types as holy decrees. But you don’t have a single inkling about what basketball truly entails, and that’s where you’ve been going wrong this entire time.

Nowadays, you find your eyes constantly scanning out in the crowd for a certain individual with cropped black hair, thick brows, and impossibly striking blue eyes. He probably doesn’t even realize just how charming he is. But maybe that obliviousness is also part of his overall charm. But before you can even hit on him, you really need to overcome the obstacle of his stuttering; after all, that was the main aspect that prevented every other girl from being able to talk to him in the first place. You take out a beginner’s guide to basketball rules and guidelines from your bag and lay it out on your desk, not caring about the teacher droning on about the necessity of Japanese literature. You turn to page one and settle yourself into a comfortable position, careful to hide the booklet from the prying eyes, yet you swear you feel a prickling chill down your spine from a piercing stare two seats behind you to your left.

It’s Kise, isn’t it? You can’t help but let out an inaudible chuckle, hand pressed over your lips as you continue to voraciously take in all the information in the book. Weeeell, he can look for all I care. I’m gonna get the last laugh when I play my cards juuuust right…

You manage to reach the last page before the bell rings for the next period, slightly jolting you out of your concentration, and after closing it and placing it back into your bag, you finally decide to turn and spare a look to the model student behind you. He’s putting most of his body weight on the desk, propping the side of his head up with a hand, elbow on the table. Although his body is facing forward to the blackboard, his eyes are honing in on you.

“What?” You stick your tongue out at him. “Can’t resist me after all? You’ve been staring at me all period—gosh, why didn’t you just tell me? You know I’m not someone who’d judge others at all~”

Unlike you.

Your own beam begins to grow at the sight of him gripping his pen so hard that it almost seems like it’s going to snap in half. You knew he couldn’t snap back—not when there were twenty pairs of eyes on him. Imagine your surprise when he barely manages to conceal his revulsion at you… whether he’s disgusted by your words, the way you provocatively stick out your tongue, your delighted smile, or all of the above… you don’t know and you don’t care enough to find out.

“What can I say?” He starts, lips twitching up to force a friendly smile. “I’ve never met anyone like you.” Everyone but you appears to buy his shoddy act, turning to face the front when the next teacher enters the classroom for the next lecture. You shoot one last wide grin at him to signify your triumph, but Kise unapologetically returns a freezing stare… the staredown only lasts for a few seconds before the teacher claps her hands to begin the session, both of you simultaneously breaking eye contact.

[sagurus]

Regarding a Common Misconception of Hakuba Saguru

Lately I've been doing some reflecting on Saguru & the various ways I've seen him portrayed, as well as the ways I've portrayed him in the past. And then I was rereading some MK manga, and had some realizations. I've been feeling like rambling about them! So here I go, rambling.

[Disclaimer: I'm not personally taking issue with anyone's interpretation or impression of Saguru - just sharing my own impressions! This is just for fun <3 ]

Misconception: Saguru is constantly accusing Kaito of being KID

It’s a generally accepted fact in a lot of fics I’ve read (and honestly, maybe some fics I’ve written -- I used to hold this belief too!) that Saguru just unendingly insinuates that Kaito is KID--alone, in front of other people, always.

I won’t cite any here, but I’ve seen nods in fanwork to Aoko feeling a little stressed/frustrated about the fact that Saguru thinks Kaito is KID and makes it known. I’ve also seen fanwork where Saguru explicitly calls Kaito KID, presses Kaito for information, or otherwise makes his beliefs clear, even when others are around.

There are only five scenes in the Magic Kaito manga where Saguru makes direct indication toward his knowledge of KID’s identity.

First, of course, we’ve got chapter 17 - the first chapter where Saguru puts together that Kaito is KID.

For a long time, when I’d consumed more fic than MK canon, I recall an image born in my head of Saguru singling Kaito out in class and making the claim that Kaito is KID in front of everybody. I don’t know if I ever read any such allusion in a fic, or if it’s just an assumption I drew based on portrayals I read, but imagine my surprise when he does nothing of the sort.

Now, to be fair, Saguru is A LOT in this chapter. MK is still heavily in gag manga territory, so his behavior is extra extra played up. But if we take away the visuals, the dialogue between Saguru and Kaito can be summed up thusly:

[First scene where Saguru makes direct indications as to KID’s identity]

Kaito: You look so tired. Haven’t gotten enough sleep after chasing KID for three nights In a row, huh?

Saguru: Hmph. Aren’t you tired as well?

And then, a few beats later in the conversation:

Saguru: I’d like to invite you to the Ochima Art Museum tonight, where KID’s declared his next target. Kaito: Eh? Saguru: Then, you’ll understand why I’m so tired. Or, do you have other plans tonight? Kaito: Okay, I accept your invitation. It’ll be great to see your work in action!

And that’s it, that’s the big class confrontation. Aoko is present for it, but she’s more interested in joining in on the fun, and while I do think Aoko pieces together that Kaito is KID, she prefers to live in willful ignorance of it until it becomes impossible for her to ignore. She’s bright enough to pick up what Saguru’s implying, but because he never brings it past implication, there’s no reason for her to look at it too hard. Anyway, I digress. That’s conjecture and headcanon talking. My point is that Saguru never makes any explicit claims, just invites Kaito along to the heist.

Another neat thing about this scene is that--while certainly not motivated by mercy in this case, Saguru does give Kaito an out: “Or, do you have an excuse not to go tonight?” Of course, if Kaito took it, it would be rather damning, but I do think it would have been enough confirmation for Saguru. I don’t think there would have been any arm-twisting to get Kaito to agree.

But Kaito and Saguru are competitive bastards, so here we are.

Let’s move on to the heist!

Once again, the manga certainly plays up the whole ordeal. Saguru is intense and waiting for his moment, and Kaito’s being, well, Kaito.

At the heist, there are a few points where Saguru has opportunities to make allusions to Kaito being KID in a way others would pick up on, or otherwise make his suspicions known, but he doesn’t.

First of all, is this exchange:

Nakamori: Why are you guys here? Aoko: Hakuba-kun invited us! Nakamori: What’s the meaning of this, Hakuba-kun? Saguru: I thought she might like to see if KID is arrested tonight. Nakamori: You’ll fail if you’re too cocky! Saguru: We’re well-prepared. Besides, who knows… KID may already be here.

Saguru does imply KID could be present, but he makes no indication that he means Kaito. His next opportunity to hint at Kaito being KID or otherwise make accusations is when Nakamori asks him to consult as a magician.

Nakamori: Kaito, since you’re here, do you want to use your magic against KID? Kaito: [laughing sheepishly] Saguru: Oh, I want to see that fight, too. If you really can do it.

Needling, yes. Saguru knows what he’s saying and so does Kaito. Accusations, no. This is well within the realm of something Saguru would have said even if he didn’t suspect Kaito, considering their dynamic up until this point.

And then, the most explicit Saguru ever gets in terms of literally calling Kaito out as being KID, beginning when Kaito excuses himself to go to the bathroom right before the heist:

[Second scene where Saguru makes direct indications as to KID’s identity]

Saguru: [handcuffs himself to Kaito] Kaito: Huh? Saguru: I won’t let you do that, Kuroba. Kaito: What do you think you’re doing?! Saguru: I got the report back from the lab. The hair I got from KID indicated that he’s a high school student. After I compared KID’s data with other high school students’ data in the database… Kuroba Kaito came up in the final list. Kaito: That’s a coincidence. Saguru: Really? We’ll see soon enough. Let’s wait until the time KID is stated to come. [Some heist hubbub occurs as officers get into position even though KID hasn’t arrived at the heist time] Aoko: What? KID’s not coming? Saguru: Ha! It looks like I win! You’d better confess who you really are.

And from there, of course, ‘KID’ (Akako in disguise) swoops in and takes care of the heist. That more or less wraps up chapter 17, the first chapter where Saguru understands that Kaito is KID. And I would argue this is the most aggressive Saguru ever is. In fact, rather than persist in trying to accuse/capture/implicate Kaito as KID, he straight up vanishes from the narrative for several chapters.

Saguru doesn’t show up again until the Chat Noir heist, in chapter 25, when he calls from France.

It’s also important to note that at this point, Magic Kaito’s narrative has experienced a slight tonal shift. At the very least, while still often comedic, it reads less like a gag manga. Between the last time we saw Saguru and now, we’ve learned the apparent motivation behind Toichi’s murder, we’ve met Snake (an albeit rather incompetent villain) and Kaito has faced down gunfire and the danger posed by Snake and his men.

The way Saguru is portrayed has also shifted to reflect the shift too. Instead of a hulking antagonist-like character in a Holmes cosplay, he’s dressed primly and presents more as a cheeky but polite character. He’s also more effectively emulating the charm that the story tried to imply he had early on (“Hakuba Saguru, at your service!”, the girls in class fawning over him, the newspaper calling him out as a famous detective making a long-awaited return to Japan).

The interaction is entirely less antagonistic, too. For reference, I’ll paste the exchange (sans Saguru’s massive info dump) below.

[Third scene where Saguru makes direct indications as to KID’s identity]

[At the heist for the golden eye] Kaito: [Hiding in a bathroom stall while putting on a disguise] [His phone starts ringing] Hello…? Saguru: Hi, it’s been a while. Are you still alive? Kaito: [Thinking] This sugary yet obnoxious tone of voice is... Hakuba?! Saguru: You’ve made quite the stir in Paris. They’re all talking about how France’s Chat Noir is going to go up against you in Japan. Kaito: Idiot! It’s not me. It’s Kaitou KID! Saguru: Ha… it doesn’t really matter. I’ll share some information that I gathered over here. [Info dump cut from dialogue] Well! That’s about all I have to say. Do your best. I don’t want to see you lose to anyone until I capture you myself. Kaito: Like I’ve been saying, I’m not KID! Saguru: Oops, it’s almost time for the Paris Fashion Week. See you! Kaito: H-hey…

The only part of this conversation that I could consider to fall into the territory of antagonistic is when Saguru says “I don’t want to see you lose to anyone until I capture you myself.” And more than anything, I think this is less reflective of a real desire to capture Kaito, and more reflective of his competitive nature. Not to mention, within the context of the conversation, it feels much more like teasing than anything.

Saguru’s motivation for making the call is clear: He doesn’t want Kaito to lose, and he wants to help ensure Kaito’s success.

And most interestingly (although I’d like to see the raw manga to confirm this, or otherwise a more literal translation) he never explicitly calls Kaito KID either. Outside of alluding to KID’s actions, Saguru doesn’t explicitly say Kaito is KID or mention KID at all. It’s Kaito who does that.

When Kaito points out that he is not, in fact, KID, Saguru doesn’t argue. He simply brushes off the denial and shares the information he’s collected.

So, to summarize what we’ve covered so far: after Saguru failed to arrest Kaito during chapter 17, he stopped troubling Kaito so thoroughly that the next time he features in the story isn’t until he’s calling from overseas to try to lend Kaito some helpful information. He’s not even playing a part in trying to capture this thief he allegedly wants to catch.

And then, Saguru dips back out of the narrative, although for a shorter period this time. The next arc he appears in is a few chapters later--the Nightmare Heist which he arrives in the middle of. But, there’s not any interaction between him and Kaito, nor any allusions made by Saguru about KID’s identity, so we’ll move on.

The fourth time Saguru makes any indication that Kaito is KID is during the Corbeau arc, when KID is being challenged by a clad-in-black KID lookalike.

Before jumping into that specific scene, though, there’s another interaction I’d like to call attention to--between Saguru and Nakamori. Not because of something Saguru says, but because of what he doesn’t say.

Nakamori: Hahaha! Looks like you let your guard down because you thought I was at home with a cold! Saguru: Our plan succeeded, it seems. Nakamori: But I only told Aoko I had a cold, so how does KID know…? Saguru: Hm...

If Saguru were wanting to make some kind of accusation, even a non-explicit one, he would have made some remark. Instead, he doesn’t say anything at all, which continues to speak to the fact that he isn’t really interested in implicating Kaito.

Anyway, the next time Saguru makes any sort of implication that Kaito is KID he is, once again, trying to help. Last time it was over the phone, so the conversation was private. This time, the conversation is in a classroom, although based on the panels, it seems like Saguru and Kaito are alone at the beginning--or at least, no attention is being paid to them.

[Fourth scene where Saguru makes direct indications as to KID’s identity]

Kaito: [Talking to himself] It must be the case, there’s no other way. There must have been some trick with the case.

Saguru: [Eavesdropping, apparently alone in the room with him] The case didn’t contain any hidden mechanisms. Kaito: Eh? Saguru: No hidden doors or things like that, as are often used in magic tricks. Kaito: W-what on earth are you talking about? Saguru: A new notice from Corbeau arrived this morning. ‘I’ll come and take the real Midnight Crow tonight.’ My name is Hakuba--so I don’t want a ‘white’ person to lose to some ominous black crow. [From here, Akako and then Aoko jump into the conversation.]

Surely a classroom is a risky place to have a conversation about KID, but the nice thing is that Saguru--once again--doesn’t bring up KID at all beyond saying that he doesn’t want the ‘white[-clad] person’ to lose to the black crow. From the outside looking in, all he’s doing is sharing information about the case with Kaito. It may also seem unwarranted from that perspective, but not at all implicating.

Also, another thing I’d like to call attention to is that when Akako joins the conversation (and seemingly blindsides Saguru, as if he wasn’t expecting anyone else to join), Saguru stops talking. He continues to be quiet when Aoko chimes in, and he doesn’t have any relevant dialogue for the rest of the scene.

Once again, Saguru’s clearly motivated to share information in the interest of helping Kaito. He has to share with Kaito’s civilian identity, since he can’t exactly arrange a conversation with KID, and this is likely the easiest way for him to do it. He makes no accusations, and this time he doesn’t even imply he wants KID caught.

So--Saguru is a part of the narrative again, but since rejoining the narrative he seems less interested in actually catching KID and far more interested in helping Kaito. And no accusations or incriminating allusions have been made since chapter 17, before Saguru’s first hiatus from the story.

The final time Saguru nods to Kaito being KID is from the Sun Halo arc. This is probably the interaction that’s closest to what fanon tends to depict when it comes to Saguru making subtle accusations that Kaito is KID. And even then, I tend to take this arc with a grain of salt if only because it felt less like Gosho was trying to add to the story and more like he was just trying to make a Magic Kaito addition that hit various fan expectations while still being wildly disappointing, lmao.

[Fifth scene where Saguru makes direct indications as to KID’s identity]

Saguru: [approaching and commenting on Kaito’s motorcycle] I see, a Suzuki GSX 250R. Akako: Ah, Hakuba-kun… Saguru: You’ve shown me something interesting. Perhaps this might help the police tonight. And could it be that you’ve forgotten… that the only motorised bikes we’re allowed to ride to school are scooters? Kaito: Eh?! For real?!

Once again, Saguru doesn’t explicitly mention KID at all--and segues from his mention of the police to pointing out that Kaito is breaking the rules right now, actually, which helps blend this teasing comment into the conversation.

Yes, later in the chapter Saguru does show up with a team of motorcycle experts. But that also means there’s more disguise opportunities for KID and more factors to account for, thus complicating things for, well, everyone--not just KID.

Also, I tend to dismiss that as Gosho throwing in some comedy, and as less to do with Saguru’s character. Call it cherrypicking if you like :P

To recount--there are five times where Saguru implies Kaito is KID.

The first two are in chapter 17, when Saguru first puts it together, and it is during this chapter that he gets the most explicit about calling Kaito out as KID, as well as the most aggressively he behaves about it. And he backs off so hard after that doesn’t work, that we don’t see him for several chapters.

The next two times he implies Kaito is KID are both in order to help him. No aggression or accusations, just the sharing of information. Even when teasing or suggesting he’s interested in catching KID, he’s good-natured about it, and when he realizes there are potentially people witnessing the conversation, he stops participating.

The final time he implies Kaito is KID is a tiny comment about finding something Kaito has shown him ‘interesting’ and ‘helpful for the police’ before smoothing into gently teasing Kaito for bringing an illegal vehicle to school.

In conclusion, Saguru may start off apparently aggressive in part thanks to early Magic Kaito’s overall tone, but rather than persevering in trying to catch Kaito after cornering him in chapter 17, he actually seems to back off. Once he’s playing a part in the narrative again, when he interacts with Kaito it’s almost exclusively to help him. Yes, he is on the task force and participating at heists, but where it matters, he’s less interested in catching the thief and far more interested in those the thief is opposing (excluding the police force).

[tsukiyadori]

Volume 1 in German. The first print run comes with some stickers. A bit on the more pricey side at 8€ (incl. tax) with just 125p. I guess, it is a bit of a niche audience within a niche genre within a nice media category. The typographic elements (the title, volume numbers, author name, publisher logo, etc) on both front and back cover have a gloss effect you'd see when held against light.

The translation is internally very sound on its own. There is only two things I picked up when I was comparing it to my memory after reading it. One was that it removes the usage of the term "flag" that I remember as rather prevalently repeated in JP edition doesn't seem to show up here at all (there is only one mention of a "trigger"). The older JP chapers on pixiv have mostly vanished into the void tho, so can't compare anymore. Maybe it'll show up yet or it keeps using "trigger")

The second involves one of my favorite punchlines from early on:

Japanese:

Scanlation:

German:

And so the trap was already sprung. As soon as they get home, they'll come at each other like wild animals, because they won't even make it to the bedroom. He had no chance.

ダシにされる as defined by Weblio's dictionary means "to be used for the profit of others". (It comes from the ingredient dashi in cooking. It's a sort of Japanese fond, and always just there to support the main flavor of the dish rather than standing in the spotlight itself.) That's the main punchline of this chapter, that Mob-kun got used. Clearly he doesn't like it, but as other instances will prove he's still going to be willing to choose this, because being that Mob-kun used by the narrative for somebody else's romance is still better than falling into one yourself.

The scanlation nails that in its translation. However, it makes itself entirely clunky with how it chooses to phrase the second line. That one is a good showcase of how JP can and will pack even entire phrases, expressions and factual info dumps, actual quotations or kinda quotation looking thinking into something isolated on its own and then grammatically treat the whole thing the same as a simple noun. These constructions are often quite a challenge to unwind in Western languages. (Break it up into multiple sentences? Make side clauses at the risk of convoluted long sentences with commas? Actually use quotation marks?) The scanlation version in that sense doesn't make particularly any sense at all grammatically. It also completely ignores the parody style of censoring one letter of the icky word. If kept, this should have been something like "s*x", but this admittedly just looks weird typographically in manga font.

The German version opts out for language cohesion by breaking it up into separate sentences. It's also using known idiomatic expressions as a replacement of the pseudo-censoring and enhances the cynic commentary vibe with some more such expressions and mood markers. - That bit is quite great, and reading it on its own entirely fits the plot and joke just fine.

But it still entirely removes the ダシにされた, the bit that Mob-kun was being used as a mere support ingredient, and with it vanishes that early deadpan sardonicism that he knows it. (Before he later doubles down and starts to systematically use and explain to the reader how playing along to avoid trouble.)

It's nothing that really gets so much lost on the whole, because it shows up again, but that just happened to be one of my favorite lines.

....

Me, a few minutes later.

When you make the mistake and browse a few pages before that punchline accidentally and see something more:

Japanese:

People will think of us as strange...! Everyone's indifferent to their surroundings. Nobody notices anything, and nobody cares. I do. I'm totally bothered by your groping play.

Scanlation:

German:

People will notice something [if you go on] Never mind them, as if anyone's interested. Just relax, nobody's noticing anything. But I do. [Naughty] Plays like these are quite conspicuous.

I mean, nothing to note, if you don't actually compare it next to each other. It's internally very sound and if you didn't know better it's perfectly fine. But the German version kinda does leave stuff out again, does it?

.....

I ought to stop here, before I notice more, while also failing to come up with a good punchline...

[kyuremking]

Saint Seiya - The Saga of the 12 Houses

Yesterday I started and finished the saga of the 12 houses and I guess it's time to give my opinion.

The saga is non-stop, with a 12 hour countdown with the main characters on the verge of death in every chapter.

But I liked it, I don't say it's perfect but it's well done, the main characters with their beliefs for Athena/Saori against the golden knights who have different points of view and ways of acting.

Mu is an ally who repairs their armour and then rescues Shaka and Ikki.

Aldebaran could have killed them from the beginning I have no doubt, but he clearly did not want to, nor did he attack them with full force.

The Gemini knight split them up and allowed the fighting to begin without everyone present.

Deathmask, Deathmask, Deathmask, what can I say about him? His only mistake was attacking Shunrei. If he hadn't attacked her Shiryu would be dead. Cancer's cloth wouldn't have left him if he hadn't attacked an innocent person who wasn't even on the battlefield. I don't know if he deserved to die or not, I mean he was a jerk but maybe he could have learned a little and been of some use.

Aioria was mind controlled but he is one of the ones who came close to killing one of the Bronze.

Cassios' death showed us that even if you don't believe in Athena that doesn't mean you're not a true knight (although let's remember that Cassios beheaded 9 people to get Pegasus' cloth).

Shaka could also have killed the bronze ones if it wasn't for Ikki. Although I find it very strange that Shaka is surprised that Ikki's cosmos increases when he is left without his senses, after all that's the same thing Shaka does. Actually that's something the Golden Knights do a lot, they have techniques that take away the senses and then are surprised that the cosmos increases. If I were them I wouldn't have techniques that cause that effect because it backfires in the end.

The house of Libra...that's the most out-of-context scene I've ever seen. The anime and manga are different and the anime doesn't explain it as well as the manga. Decades of complaining when he's just a friend almost sacrificing his life for his friend's life.

Milo, thanks to him Hyoga comes closer to the seventh sense and realizes that the Patriarch is not to be trusted and saves Hyoga (from the consequences of the Scarlet Needle). He also shows respect for Hyoga.

Aioros, he is dead and nothing will change that but his message helped the Bronze to continue with more strength.

Shura, he got tired of people fighting for their own selfish desires (or so I understood). I don't think he deserved to die. But in the end he saved Shiryu.

Camus, no offence but you were a bit of an idiot, telling your disciple not to be sentimental when you are more sentimental. You locked your disciple in the ice so he wouldn't die, that's very emotional. I understand that his duel to the death helped Hyoga become stronger, even though he ended up half dead. He still didn't deserve to die.

Aphrodite. Possibly many will disagree with me but I'm going to say it. I don't think Aphrodite deserved to die. Aphrodite joined the Patriarch because he believed that the strong were the ones who should rule(I disagree with that but to each his own) and killed Daidalos. Despite joining the Patriarch for thirteen years he did nothing to rule the world and as for Daidalos, we are told that Shun's master ignored the Patriarch's call and did not show up. Which is understandable but if you suspect there is something wrong with the Patriarch it is best not to raise suspicions, by not showing up, he brought his own death upon himself, Aphrodite was just doing his job plus he didn't kill June who was probably nearby. So yes, Aphrodite didn't deserve to die. But I have a big problem with him and that's that his demonic roses are a laugh, Seiya and Marin recover from poison easily so his poison is very weak, that's the only complaint I have.

And finally we come to Saga, after reading the manga it has cemented my opinion that Saga was the saint who believed in Athena the most, Saga is a man who lived tormented by something he tried but couldn't control, for years he lived with this burden and committed horrible acts, when Seiya meets him Saga tells him how to save Athena and if it wasn't for his evil side, Athena would have been saved sooner. Also the first chance he got he took his own life in an attempt to atone for his guilt. This does not atone for his guilt, nor does it forgive anything he did but it shows that he regretted it and was waiting for the moment to finally end it all.

Saga is a man who needed help but never got it, maybe because the other golden saints didn't care, maybe because they didn't notice anything or maybe because they believed that the way of Saga's evil side was the right way. But Saga desperately needed help and it took some 13 year olds to show up for him to finally get help.

But still Saga you're telling me that in those 13 years you didn't have time to bury Shion's body, you're telling me that you had to leave his corpse for 13 years on Star Hill, you really didn't even have a couple of hours to dig a grave for him.

So, after talking about the Golden Saints it's time to talk about someone who is also to blame for all this.

Shion, I like Shion a lot but that doesn't mean he wasn't flawed. Aiolos and Saga were not ready to be Patriarchs, neither of them. They were only 14 years old, a 14 year old can't run an organisation destined to protect the world. Because all they can think about is their hormones. I don't care that they are knights of Athena and that they received super hard training and that maybe they can deal with things that normal teenagers can't. But they are still only 14 years old. But they're still only 14 years old. Also Shion made the same mistake as Deidalos, he told Saga to his face that he felt evil in him, you're telling me you couldn't tell him to leave Star Hill because it was forbidden to be here, you couldn't tell him with people around(I'm not asking for the same room but still close).

And finally it's time to talk about the justice of each one. (This is just my opinion. Those who believed/seemed to believe in Athena: Saga, Mu, Aldebaran, Aioria, Milo, Camus. Those who believed that the end justifies the means: Deathmask.) Those who believed that strength is the most important thing: Shura, Aphrodite. Those who don't believe that there is absolute good and evil: Shaka.

Seriously I think Saga should have explained his problem or have others see it because his evil side is surely the cause of Shura, Aphrodite and Deathmask believing that strength is the most important thing.

I've left Saori for last but it's not like she had many moments, after all she had an arrow in her heart. But she still helped Shiryu in his fight against Deatmask and appeared a few times to support the Bronze Saints with words, that's more than many could do with an arrow in their heart.

I liked that the other Bronze Knights had their moment to protect Saori but what I didn't like is that the foot soldiers of the Sanctuary are real jerks, your goddess is the goddess of wisdom and you're telling me you're a bunch of idiots.

[tumblezwei]

I know nothing about chainsawman but i still encourage you to elaborate

The summary version is that just because an anime has a big budget and the ability to do The Most with fight scenes and coloring doesn't mean it's actually a good adaptation of those scenes.

It's not something I can explain in really great detail, but the entire time I'm watching the anime I can tell it doesn't give off the same...vibe as the manga. A lot of moments in the manga are remembered the way they are because of how weird they are. The composition, art style, and pacing of the manga do a lot to give relatively mundane scenes this sense of strangeness that gives the series it's identity. But the anime has a really had tendency of taking these scenes and making them feel so. Flat. The scenes are there, a lot of them are practically copied and pasted over, but they just don't feel right.

Maybe it has to do with the chance of pace from manga panel to animated scene? Maybe the lack of music that makes everything feel stale? Like, ok, let me go through this slower.

So here's some panels from the manga where Denji has just started living with Aki, and Aki is slowly losing his shit at having to put up with Denji's shitty behavior.

These pages are back to back and then it cuts to the next scene of them at work. The way the paneling is arranged, the slow change in Aki's facial expression, the pacing of it, it all comes together to show how living with Denji is kind of a fucking nightmare. And by giving us these short panels one after another, it makes this behavior seem back to back to back. Aki can't catch a fucking break and by the end of the scene you can visibly see how furious he is.

And now look at the same scene in the anime.

Like, look, maybe it's just me, but this just doesn't feel the same. The pacing is too slow, there's no music or any ambience at all which makes it feel flat and lifeless (and no, that's not me saying I need music for the scene to tell me which emotion to feel or whatever, but you gotta do something to add to the chaotic energy of this manga and it never does), and Aki's facial expressions just don't sell the look of building fury the way the manga panels do.

And I can't post any more pics on this post, but another example I can think of is Power's introduction in the same chapter/episode. In the manga the panel gives us a full body shot with a close up of her face to the side. The emphasis is on showing all of her at once, the messy clothing, her loud and brash personality, the way she holds herself. But in the anime they like, only show close ups of her? We get a shot of her feet before speeding past the rest of her body up to her face, where it lingers until she's done with her introduction and zooms out to show us her final pose. It's weird and awkward. And even after the shot zooms out we never get a full view of her clothing because it's blocked by her sweater.

Like if you had never read the manga and your first introduction to Power was this scene, you just wouldn't be getting the full effect of Power being a weird gremlin. It doesn't even feel like she's the focus of the scene. Her own introduction scene and the camera barely gives itself a chance to linger on her.

Added with the often times muted color palette, the seeming disdain to engage with it's own whimsy, and it's inability to really capture the way Fujimoto does facial expressions, I just don't think the anime is a worthwhile experience in comparison to the manga.

If you like the anime and think I'm full of shit, then more power to you. I'm not saying it can't get better or that I'm the only person allowed to have an opinion, but I just think that MAPPA spent too much of their time trying to replicate the manga scene for scene that they didn't really try and give it a personality lol.

[chidoroki]

Isabella - 73584

I had a serious debate with myself over whether or not I wanted to sit down and spend my weekend writing another one of these praise posts. I was content with just doing one for each of the Fullscore Trio kids and ending it there.. but apparently I love this woman too much to just ignore her on her birthday. So here were are on September 9th with a list of all her best and my personal favorite moments as to why I believe she’s such a great character, antagonist and mother (yeah you heard me right). Considering she only shows up in the beginning and very end of the story, this post ended up longer than I originally anticipated, which just goes to show how many thoughts I really have about this woman. (for real, this rivals Ray’s post in terms of points but there’s far more words)

Since she also has some backstory and certain events differ between manga and anime (thanks to the second season), I’ll try to go in chronological order between both timelines instead of chapter by chapter, which might be a bit confusing as we’ll jump around the story a lot but just to bear with me as I try to makes sense of it all.

(spoilers for the entirety of The Promised Neverland & ch181.7, so if you haven’t read/completed the manga yet, consider this your first warning, because I’m literally going from start to finish with this one last time. I promise.)

- I’m not sure how well she compares to Emma when it comes to athleticism, but Isabella seemed to have no trouble climbing up and down trees when she was younger.

- Not only that, but she managed to scale the wall by herself using a method that requires a fairly impressive jump. It’s also implied that this is how she climbs the wall again so many years later when chasing the soon-to-be escapees, which helps prove that even at an older age, she hasn’t lost her touch.

- Was chosen to undergo training to become a Mom, which required high test scores and the current mother’s recommendation. She accepted the offer in order to keep living and survive as human the demons couldn’t eat.

- Based on Sienna’s comment, is it fair to say Isabella is on par with the full score trio? I mean, the woman is basically flawless.

- She was practically untouchable during her time at headquarters while training too apparently. Mom positions are scarce so the environment where these ladies fight (physically/mentally/emotionally) to even snag that job is highly competitive, and yet Isabella never let anyone deter her from her goal of becoming a Mom, which probably led to the “Iron Lady” nickname she received now that I think about it.

- She was the youngest ever to be granted the Mom position at..what, 19? 20? Somewhere around there, but impressive nonetheless considering they’re forced to have a child, build up a strong, emotionless exterior and endure so much fear. (but my goodness, the woman doesn’t age at all. she looks just as good when the story actually starts as she did her when she was a bit younger)

- It became common knowledge among the Sisters that she was also very successful in the way she raised her children.

- Her success greatly benefited the farm, as she offered up countless high quality goods, which sounds terrible, I know, but believe me when I say she gave her best effort for her children. Even though she held the Mom position, the amount of power she actually had in this system was pretty minimal, especially with how much she valued her own life. She couldn’t afford to make any mistakes or risky changes, so she settled with doing the most with what she was capable of. She provided her children with a normal lifestyle, not only to keep up the orphanage facade, but knowing that their lives would all be cut shorter than they anticipate. She gave them love in hopes that no one would ever have to feel the dread she felt after Leslie’s death and/or finding out the truth. She tried to delay that horrific fate by encouraging them to learn all they can (like teaching the trio about strategy and chess) so they could achieve higher tests scores and (unknowingly to them) add a couple more months or years onto their lives. Yes it was her job to raise these children to such high standards but she excelled at it for their sake too.

- And I know y’all will just throw Ray in my face like, “oh but he was her actual child and she treated him horribly/different.” Okay but deep down I don’t think she actually wanted to? When they both realized they were truly mother and son, Isabella couldn’t just dote on him and start treating him as such. I’m sure Ray wasn’t too fond of Isabella at this point in his life either, knowing that she sent several of his siblings away to get killed. They probably would’ve gotten along just fine in a perfect world, but since they were both aware of the hell they’re trapped living in, they emotionally distanced themselves and formed a business-like relationship as a result of Ray’s deal, which benefited them both in different ways. For Ray, it was more practical, with the obvious notion of living as long as possible along with obtaining various rewards and knowledge of the outside world. For Isabella, it helped emotionally by simply just ignoring their true relation. I believe if she clung to that realization, it would break the orphanage illusion and eventually wear down her “Iron Lady” exterior that she relies so heavily on.

- Like can you imagine how much you would have to harden your heart in order to quite literally walk children to their death every couple months for years on end and just move on like it’s completely normal? Now imagine how earth shattering it must be to think about doing the same to your actual child. All those years spent perfecting a fake smile and emotionless exterior like she was trained to have and her son shatters it in an instant. She becomes completely terrified about how he’s actually alive and in front of her right now and there’s nothing she can do to truly save him.. and yet she still recovers so damn quickly I can’t even comprehend it! But there’s still some sadness in those eyes. You can’t tell me otherwise. That one moment of weakness speaks volumes to me.

- So now with her general backstory FINALLY out of the way, we can finally start with ch01/ep01 and how her laugh is sweet and innocent. I say that because (all hidden emotions and motives aside) that’s exactly how she’s supposed to sound in this moment, not only to us but to the children as well.

- She of course checks Emma’s tracker a moment later but other than that I still think it’s a pretty genuine moment between the two.

- As previously stated, her ability to raise high quality children is unmatched, which is clear as day thanks to the fullscore trio.

- Despite their crazy level of intelligence, the trio has yet to win a simple game of chess against Isabella, even when teamed up.

- She treasures everything about the kids.

- She really cares about them, even when it’s time to send them off with a smile, which we know is thanks to her strong facade.

- But mother dearest isn’t really fine. She doesn’t like walking kids to their death, especially so young. But she can’t let them (or even herself) know that. She can’t show weakness, so she hums Leslie’s song, which is a tool she’s used for years in order to give herself strength.

- Don’t worry, I disliked her this moment happened too, just as the story intended. And here’s where her fantastic antagonist role begins for all the world to see.

- A true champ at jump scares.

- Acts completely calm the night after a couple of kids found out the secret of the farm.

- She uses the tracker in plain sight, sending whomever went to the gate last night a threatening but silent message.

- Correct Norman, that’s the “Iron Lady” for ya. Also the name of ch03 for us. Well, “The Iron Woman” but same difference.

- She switches from calculating and manipulative breeder to sweet and pleasant mother so quickly and effortlessly it’s incredible. Isabella even checked Emma’s pulse in this scene to see if she was acting normal.

- At this point she still had no idea who went to the gate (Ray didn’t tip her off yet, at least I don’t think so) but her guess couldn’t have been more precise. The level of fear she drives into both Emma and Norman was great too, but then again her presence is enough in any scene to give us chills.

- Notices her watchdog isn’t at his usual post and starts to get suspicious.

- Not only of him, Emma and Norman, but Don and Gilda as well, thus giving the five extra chores to finish in an attempt to slow down any escape planning, such as cleaning vacant rooms, organizing the pantry and inspecting spare linen.

- While the trio believes Isabella was being too soft and patient in finding her targets, she effectively catches them off guard by bringing in Krone for assistance. The trio soon realize they were actually preparing the sister’s new room and those mundane chores were just an excuse to buy time.

- Look at her, all smug. Checkmate indeed. (and totally not important, but her eyes are such pretty shades of purple)

- The sass and her no nonsense attitude.

- Immediately puts Krone in her place the moment she even thinks about shipping out the targets. Of course holding off on shipping the targets would benefit the farm, as it would produce higher quality merchandise as time passes, but plant 3 is run by Isabella and she’ll be damned if an assistant thinks they could waltz right in and decide her children’s fate.

- She check’s Emma tracker again despite her claim of knowing exactly who the targets might be. You can never be too careful.

- Her precious children managed to win a game of tag against Krone, which is still impressive considering the kind of training the sister has gone through, so kudos to her teachings.

- Knows right away that Krone was trying to take advantage, which allows Krone to realize that the opening she had to learn more about the children was all planned by Isabella herself. Her intimidating nature is enough to scare adults too.

- Reveals that Krone was mostly summoned in order to keep Ray in check after his failure.

- Despite the trust issue, Isabella still keeps up her end of the deal by requesting the items Ray asked for, thanks to the odd perks she had under Grandma Sarah which allowed her to order goods that weren’t on the supply list.

- This hug between her and Phil is just too cute not to mention.

- I imagine she makes this comment because she knows exactly how long a rope must be based off her own almost-escape.

- It’s just something about how this scene is framed alongside this dialogue that makes me think “oh, like mother, like son.”

- I blame her very thoughtful planning for my first big freak out when I watched season 1 blind, like ma’am that’s my favorite boy, please don’t.

- She conspires with Grandma Sarah in order to get rid of Krone for good, which renders the evidence sister just found out about the children’s escape completely useless. Sarah believes there might be some truth to it, but ultimately ignores it and puts her faith in Isabella’s ability of controlling the children & the situation.

- She then cuts Ray off and ends their six-year long deal, opting to control the situation herself from now on. Also, how she wanted to keep him around until the very end is kinda bittersweet. Does she mean as merchandise? Or because she wanted him to live as long as possible? Ah such a tricky little comment.

- She also tosses him across the room like a rag doll.

- Thank god for this panel existing and actually being adapted into the anime so I could hear it because I had absolutely no memory of her laughing in this moment.

- “She says it so nonchalantly,” Norman said once upon a time, and it’s still so frightening.

- As insane as her ideals seem given the circumstances, nothing she says here is really a lie.

- She has the strength to quite literally break a leg and that cracking noise still haunts me to this day.

- It wasn’t even a spur of the moment thing either. Isabella came fully prepared with bandages to fix up any injury she was willing to inflict and that thought alone is terrifying.

- Not only that, but she broke it so cleanly that Emma’s leg does indeed heal perfectly in the exact time frame she estimates. This entire moment is so unfairly impressive, like ma’am how dare you do this to Emma of all people.. like why couldn’t you at least use that kind of force to snap Peter’s neck instead or something?

- To make matters worse, she then reveals Norman’s shipment date. And it’s the following day, which sends the kids into a very understandable panic.

- Needless to say, November 2nd, 2045 was a very successful day in the life of Isabella. Woman was putting everyone in checkmate in ep08 and my anger on full blast.

- This sly smile she sends Ray’s way after announcing Norman’s shipment to the younger kids is so cruel.. it’s perfect.

- I can only imagine she asked about Ray’s whereabouts because she knew the boys were close friends and she hoped they would at least say goodbye to one another, but that’s just me.

- Puts an end to Norman’s parting words in such a simple and chilling matter.

- The way she just openly threatens Emma with others just out of earshot.

- Norman out here asking the real questions. If anything, I say she’s more “content” rather than happy. I don’t think she’s ever really thought about her own happiness, at least not often enough, hence the slight pause. This entire time she’s been focusing on how to make her children’s lives perfect, but for herself she just wants to survive in this hellish world they’re all living in.

- I’m honestly still not sure who’s final decision it is to send people to Lambda, either Isabella, Peter or someone else (honestly never bothered to check), but whether or not Isabella had any say in the matter, I’m sure she’s at least a little glad that Norman gets to live a bit longer? Perhaps that’s a stretch, but I’m putting the idea here anyway.

- I say this because I believe that’s part of the reason why she offered Emma a Mom recommendation, not only because our girl’s high test scores, but in hopes that she could live a longer life.

- Although she really stresses in an intimidation fashion how pointless Emma’s efforts are now that Norman’s “dead,” the cliff remains a major hazard and her leg is still bandaged up, Isabella still tries so hard to convince her to give up, like Ray has, in order for Emma to end her own suffering. It was the first instance during my blind watch-through were I started to get the hint that Isabella might actually care about her kids, and of course I know now it’s because she didn’t want Emma to experience the same pain she did after Leslie’s death.

- With Emma and Ray both broken, things went by rather smoothly for Isabella those last two months, though she continued to keep a close eye on them.

- Her humming is so soothing. And why it took me this long to bring up “Isabella’s Lullaby” is beyond me, but oh my god, that song and any other soundtrack that uses its melody is absolute perfection.

- Had enough sense to not let her guard down the final night, even though her efforts were ultimately unsuccessful, but the idea counts.

- Though her caretaker side is focused on more during the fire, some motherly instincts do kick in as she instructs Gilda to get the babies from her room and lead everyone outside to safety. She was also concerned for Emma’s well being, hoping all the smoke didn’t get to her when the girl vanished. (i know you can argue “she’s only worried because they’re merchandise” which is fair but c’mon, i swear she’s not completely heartless)

- Took a hot minute (ahha) but Isabella eventually realized that the kids were actually escaping solely based on what they were wearing on their feet. I’m sure Emma’s discarded left ear was a big tip off too but to come to that conclusion by noticing the shoes they had on during all that chaos is surprising.

- She looks completely insane here but I always thought this shot of her was nicely animated with all the fire (or embers? sparks? whatever they are) flying around. The laugh she does before this is also a nice bonus. Oh, and she somehow managed to secure a radio from the room Don had locked.

- Figured the fifteen kids would head towards the bridge and called in headquarters to block it off.

- But when the children didn’t appear at the bridge, she just happened to know exactly where else they might try to cross the cliff.

- In the anime’s case, Isabella climbed the wall and ran there quick enough to engage in a stare down with Emma before she finally slid down.

- The moment I knew I was doomed.

- After the 15 kids successfully escaped, Isabella admits defeat, for she couldn’t really see how much her children have grown to outsmart her.

- This iconic quote, which conveys so much truth and sincerity. There were multiple occasions where she had to distance and restrain herself due to the system that controlled her, but the love she was able to show the children was genuine. If she wasn’t held back by the strict rules enforced by Mom position, I don’t doubt she would’ve treated Ray better or became far more emotional whenever a child had to leave for good or seriously injured, instead of donning a fake smile and being closed off.

- She realizes with this unspeakable loss in merchandise, the reputation she worked so hard to build up is meaningless now and that the farm no longer has any use for such an incompetent caretaker. She figures she’s as good as dead anyway now, so she wastes no time in actually helping the escapees by reclaiming the ropes to hide their exact method and route of escape, if only to grant the kids some extra time before the pursuers really locate them.

- She doesn’t act bitter as a result of her loss, instead choosing to wish the escapees luck with the future they grasped for themselves and care for the children that were left behind.

- She’s just so pretty y’all. Thank you anime.

- She was named “Best Antagonist” (and rightfully so!) back during the 2020 Crunchyroll Anime Awards, winning over Askeladd (Vinland Saga), Overhaul, (My Hero Academia), Garoua (One Punch Man,) & others.

(Post-season 1 spoilers ahead, even though the anime is completely finished at this point, but will be touching upon her special chapter more as well.)

- Completely owns up to her mistakes that caused the farm a massive loss in profitable goods and is ready to received whatever punishment necessary, which she expects to be death.

- Only.. she’s not being killed, she’s actually being promoted to Grandma. Though Isabella was directly responsible for the children’s escape, the blame ultimately falls on Sarah who couldn’t correctly control Isabella, thus leading the old lady to be shipped out in place of the goods Isabella lost.

- Peter also notes that the farm found more worth in Isabella than Sarah, so her past merits also played a part in sparing her life, as having a woman like Isabella in charge would surely produce the level of quality the farm needs.

- Isabella eventually accepts the promotion, though she can’t help but feel hesitant and shocked about the whole deal. This woman was ready to embrace death and finally be free from this cruel world, but now she has to witness not only more kids being shipped off, but moms and sisters in training as well (yay old chapter reviews coming in clutch).

- She could have very well just refused Peter’s offer, but we all know how much Isabella originally wanted to survive, so she doesn’t just accept because this man dangled a sense of freedom in her face, she also agreed so she could have the opportunity to help her children in any way her newfound power would allow her.

- Of course, her transition to Grandma happens a bit differently in the second season, but I will give some bittersweet thanks to the anime once more for the obvious but curse them for also having this entire scene dark as hell. Let me see her beauty darn it! I can only fix the lighting so much until it looks overexposed and bad again.

Anyways, Sarah is still alive at this point and taunts Isabella with the escapee’s lives just to see how she would react, which gave her a small sense of hope. Then some demons pay a visit later on and also ask if she would want to see the children one last time, but Isabella tells them that not only would she be too ashamed to face them but that they would manage to survive Grandma’s capture plan, which involved several men blowing up their shelter. It’s now clear to the demons that these children are special, and while Isabella agrees, it’s not for the same reason the demons think so. The demons believe the kids are special because of how they were raised to such a high quality. Isabella calls them special simply because they’re her children, just as any mother would.

- In the anime, it’s the demons who offer Isabella the Grandma deal if Sarah’s current plan were to fail (which it does) and she takes it and the freedom from Grace Field House without question. Do I still believe she had similar intentions to help out the children like she did in manga at this point? Of course.

- Not even a full month into her new job did she start preparing to help Emma & the others by considering who from the current Sisters she wanted to recruit to personally assist her destroy the farm entirely.

- A month later and Isabella had already decreased the number of shipments that took place at Grace Field, which obviously helps raise the quality of the children by default, but it also means less death and gives those kids a chance to live longer.

- She completely anticipated that Matilda, Jessica, Sienna & Scarlet were conspiring against her and caught them quite easily, as they were among the top scorers.

- Each had a fair chance at becoming Moms but with those positions limited, it was obvious to figure out they were trying to force Isabella’s seat open by creating some suspicious activity to place on her almost perfect record. Unfortunately for the girls, our new Grandma is too smart for her own good and I love it.

- The four women are apprehensive to join her insane plan to go against the farm, but Isabella assures them there’s no freedom if they follow the system’s rules and betray her. The harsh reality they’re all living in will continue unless they stop competing with one another and combine forces to defeat the true enemy.

- To persuade them further, Isabella mentions the children they all gave birth to are still alive, bringing out an array of emotions from the women that they each thought they had buried deep down.

- THIS! Just all of this is wonderful and shows just how much Isabella learned from her children who once defeated her.

- To fully gain the women’s trust, she gives them Ray’s farewell note that he originally left in order to bait Krone, as proof she won’t double-cross them at any point.

- I love the fact that she kept the note close to her because it acts just like all the other various toys and items she saved in her secret room back at plant 3. The original owners were all precious to her so she kept a piece of them behind to remember them in a place only she knew about. As I said before when mentioning her “I wish I could have just loved them normally” quote, all the love she had for her children had to be suppressed when she was under the system’s control, but that doesn’t mean she never cared. Because she did, and if I haven’t made at least that clear by now then I’m failing.

- Can her intentions and love for her children be any more clear? (possibly, i’m not done with this darn post yet. how you guys holding up? i’m going a little insane at this point.)

- Anyways! Second season didn’t make the rest of the story easy so apologies for any timeline mishaps as I switch between both anime and manga events from here on out.. like how in manga Isabella is informed of the escapee’s return to Grace Field via Peter, while the in the anime it’s her who helps lures them back with a fake transmission via the radio they stole.

- Just before Emma & the others do return to Grace Field on November 13, Isabella finally reaches out to the farm’s many other Sisters to recruit them. She waited until the right moment to inform them of her crazy takeover plan so Peter wouldn’t become suspicious from all of headquarters acting/thinking differently (you know, like how Emma kept the jailbreak plan under wraps until the night of). These ladies also feel a bit wary and even think of Isabella’s offer as a joke, but with some real, heartfelt encouragement, she manages to win over every single woman to her side.

- The moment when it was first revealed to us that she was not only still alive but was also promoted to Grandma is still so powerful.

- She snaps Nat’s finger back into place after Peter broke it. (and considering emma’s group infiltrates the farm right after this, i’m pretty sure that ch170 with rallying the sisters took place before this..i think?)

- Gave me a minor heart attack.

- *CLAPS FRANTICALLY!!!* The moment she truly won me over.


- While her betrayal against Peter in the manga is fantastic and quite possibly one of my favorite moments, the anime did give us a little something too. It shows Peter spewing utter nonsense to Emma about how she’s destined to fail, only for best girl to bite back with such a fantastic quote, and then Isabella drops the act and switches sides. While I agree Emma’s comeback is “wonderful,” it’s the English dub that completely wins me over in this scene by having Isabella comment “Now that’s my girl” instead, like bro.. hearing that makes me so happy.

- For real dude, you have several highly skilled women pointing guns at you, I think her betrayal is crystal clear.

- This is like the perfect example of how she had to conceal her feelings while bound by the system. She just misses these kids so much y’all but she can’t let her true emotions show yet.

- Having her call Peter a boy is beyond hilarious to me. Also, how she disagrees with him on so many levels is excellent, like how he believes in experimenting on kids and having the right to call yourself their parent just because you created them, while Isabella believes in raising and loving children normally and that you earn that parent title by actually being part of their lives. To be fair they both inflicted pain on kids (Nat’s finger/Emma’s leg) but Peter’s action was a mistake in itself. Isabella got frustrated back when Krone even threatened to ship out the kids who discovered the secret, so you can bet she’s probably pissed off at this boy for harming one of her kids on purpose.

- The best mother-daughter moment ever! It’s such a shame it never got truly animated since the second season decided not to give the children guns, but we get to see a small smile from Isabella after Emma decided to still call her “mom.”

- The anime never gave Peter the chance to run away, like he (somehow) managed to do in manga, so we had the chance to see someone actually shoot at him. Well, in his general direction at least. Isabella lands a perfect shot not even a full second after he pulls out that disc. Accuracy on point.

- Said this once or twice in the past in manga so I’m glad the anime brought it back.

- Remains cautious and keeps her gun raised at Peter when Emma approaches him and rightfully so considering he still had his knife hidden at this point.

- Refuses Emma’s offer to join the kids in the human world at first because she knows that her (& the sister’s) actions shouldn’t be forgiven so easily, but with some rather blunt sympathy from Ray and encouragement from her other children, she finally gives in.

- This entire post summed up in one image.

- She apologizes even though distancing herself from her kids and preparing them for death were just required of her role as a caretaker. She wouldn’t have done any of that in a normal world. (do i sound like a broken record yet? probably)

- The emotion you hear in her voice during this entire dub scene hits my heart in all the right places.

- She still thinks of Leslie after all this time and I think that’s real cute.

- Her protective nature is on full display when she protects Emma from this bastard of a demon. A truly surprising and heartbreaking moment, considering this is the woman who’s survival used to be her top and only priority in the past, but now doesn’t hesitate to give her life in order to save her kid (and by extension that small girl emma saved. also, major heart attack for me).

- Despite being critically injured, this woman still possess enough strength to hold back a demon twice her size. She doesn’t even pay any mind to its nonsense. Like the demon, people often think this is when redemption arc starts but I believe it started way back in ch37 when Isabella retrieved and hid the ropes the kids used to escape. Ever since she admitted defeat on the wall that night, she threw caution to the wind and began cheating the system in hopes to one day assist the kids achieve a brighter future. Despite all the work she’s done behind the scenes, Isabella believes there’s still so much more she can do to atone, so even though she’s already received the children’s forgiveness, she continues to assist them by jumping in and saving them directly from demons for once in her life.

- Ma’am it’s sweet you’re so concerned with their safety, but we should be asking you that question ya know? (but then again emma was the same way after she woke up from her coma).

- Knows that just apologizing and saving Emma isn’t enough to suddenly forgive all her actions and wants to do so much more for the children as a result. Even though I already acknowledged all her subtle and hidden moments, I wish we got to see her care for them more openly.

- I simply can not read through ch177 and not get emotional. No matter how hard I try, I always feel tears start to form in my eyes. Oh my god, how cruel that death can be this beautiful. It’s so unfair.

- *uses old chapter review because I’m too upset right now* “She apologizes for everything. For not treating him right and loving him as a mother normally would her own son. For making him despise his life so much and enduring so much pain that he thought the only escape was suicide.”

- “She leaves him with one last wish to protect everyone, and that completely breaks me because you know exactly how much they both care for their family. Not only would they literally die for their family, but they would live for them too if someone asked. Truly like mother, like son.” (aaaaaahhhhh)

- Her, umm.. ghost (along with Conny’s & Yuugo’s) help Ray reunite with Emma in 2049.

- All my tears aside, the anime did something right by actually keeping her ALIVE!

- Have you ever seen something so GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL in all your life?? This image is so powerful it literally tossed aside any salty feelings I had that night with how the second season ended. Seeing her like this grants me so much happiness y’all, it’s truly unbelievable. I still can’t get over it and hopefully I never will.

Okay, now I’m done, thank god. Sorry this is like ridiculously long, especially since she’s absent for sooo many chapters. Also find it so hilarious how drastic my opinion of her changed from the beginning to now, from “bitch” to “oh my god I love her so much.” I know people will always have opposing opinions whether she’s actually a good mother or not and that’s totally fine. Wasn’t trying to convince y’all of that either because yes, some of her actions are real unforgivable, but she was suffering under the farm system too and just followed through with what she was trained to do in order to survive, but while other Sisters fought to climb ranks and help themselves survive, Isabella ultimately wanted the best for her children. The more power she gained, the more risks she took and once the system crashed so did her facade.

An absolute queen.

[adjuchasalvaje]

Honestly, the spoilers have left me surprised in certain parts but in others not much since I feel that it was something that was obviously coming in a certain way but that I would still like to comment on.

Note: Long text, read at your own risk.

On the one hand there is the fact that there is a timeline 0. In this timeline Mikey apparently died (possibly before or at the same time as ch. 241 happened) and the plane was the cause. Because of this Shinichiro made the first time travel to prevent that from happening but doing so unintentionally caused the timeline we know now to change but not for the better. It can be said that timeline 0 was the "best" for some, meaning that nothing that has actually happened in the manga happened there. Although he managed to save his brother on that timeleap, he inadvertently caused the fate of others to be harmed in the process.

Knowing this did take me by surprise because I did not imagine that everything had been like this but on the other hand I felt that the rest could be seen coming. Several times in the manga we have been shown the consequences of altering destiny despite the fact that one does it with good intentions. So this is no exception.

On the other hand, there is the timeline that we know as "the original" that in the end turned out to be the result of an alteration to the timeline 0. In this timeline, it can be said that everything has happened differently, but at the same time it also brought certain consequences, becoming one of these Mikey's dark impulses. Until now it was not understood where such impulses came from or what caused them. When the ch.241 came out many, including me, thought that the origin of these was due to the incident that occurred in that chapter but even so the reason seemed very vague to me. But with the little that was given in the ch. 268 and with what will happen in ch.269 it can be understood that the origin of these is as a consequence (so to speak) granted by the change to Mikey's destiny since originally he should not exist.

At the end of last year (before all this) I decided to see the movie Butterfly Effect since many in the fandom associated it with its similarity to the plot (time travel) and I found it very curious, especially the ending. Many commented that the end of the manga would probably be like the end of the movie or something similar and that Takemichi would end up as the protagonist, sacrificing himself. However, for some reason I thought that the one who would end up doing it would be Mikey and not him. From then on I couldn't get that idea out of my head.

I even considered the idea of a loop after reading a tweet since certain events were repeating themselves again but at different times, even so there were things that didn't quite fit and I had doubts about it. I remember that I made a thread about it with what I thought because the idea did not fit me well.

When I read the last (published) chapters of the manga, I understood that everything that had happened so far (including the alternate timelines), had been the consequence of the bad decisions that Mikey had made without being aware that these would affect the lives of the people closest to his environment putting them at risk at the same time. And that's where I thought that it would probably be better if he wasn't in everyone's life but at the same time I also wondered what would become of him if that happened? In the end the ch. 269 gave me the answer.

A part of me knew that Mikey would not end well and that it would take a miracle for that to change but I did not imagine that it would be such a bad thing.

The only thing I can do now is think and wonder how it will all end. Although now more than anything I need answers but for the moment I do not expect anything.