#I mean my network did get struck my lightning.

[patchoulol]

Have tumblr videos just been unmuting randomly for anyone else or is my PC possessed?

[wrenhyperfixates]

Stay the Night

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: Your fear of thunderstorms leads you to invite Loki to stay the night at your place. Warnings: none A/N: Happy reading :)

Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant @lunarmoon8 @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @lowkeyorlokificrecs @gaitwae​ @whatafuckingdumbass​ @castiels-majestic-wings​ @kozkaboi​ @cozy-the-overlord​ @birdgirl90​ @myraiswack​

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

It was raining. No, that was an understatement. It was pouring; torrents of water attacked your house. You thanked the powers that may be for letting you get your leak fixed last month. You didn’t mind the rain, not really, but this was just depressing. And the strength of the storm was a little scary, too. The claps of thunder seemed to rattle the very foundation of your house, and you jumped a little every time. There was only one thing making the relentless downpour bearable. Loki.

“Darling?” he asked, concern lacing his voice. “Is there something wrong?”

You tried to relax your visibly tense body. “Yeah, I’m ok. Totally fine.”

He looked unconvinced, but kept his skepticism to himself. No need to pry, he supposed. He took your hand in his and used his thumb to rub circles on the back of it. He hoped it would help calm you. There was a time he never would have been so bold as to initiate contact, but you changed that. You’d shown him it was ok to do. With you it was, anyway.

As another boom of thunder filled the air, you squeezed Loki’s hand tighter. He gave you another concerned look. He wasn’t very fond of thunderstorms himself, and he wondered if the same thing was plaguing you. The thought reminded him of his brother, and then the Tower. He really should be getting back home, but how he so hated to leave you, his precious mortal.

You’d met him one day in the Tower. You were the receptionist on the first floor, and more often than not, Loki chose just to teleport in and out. At that time, it had only been a month since you’d gotten the job, and you’d yet to see the god. For whatever reason, he decided to use the front door that day. You stopped him as he tried to walk through the security measures without checking in.

“Excuse me, sir,” you’d said. “I’m going to need to see your Tower ID.”

“Oh, darling,” he’d said. “I do not think I need any verification. Perhaps I should introduce myself. I am Loki of Asgard.” He’d bowed and placed a kiss to the back of your hand.

“And I’m in charge of this reception desk,” you’d replied, puffing up your chest and blocking his way. He laughed a little. “And I need some ID.”

“Very well,” he’d sighed. As he searched for the little card, you let out a breath of relief. You’d never had this trouble with any of the other Avengers. He finally found it and presented it with a charming smile. “Aha! Here we are, darling. Are we all good here then?”

“Yup,” you said, swiping him through. “Have a nice day, Loki of Asgard.”

“And to you too, but I do not think I caught your name.” You gave it to him, and he’d repeated it with yet another smile. “I look forward to our next meeting.”

“Me too,” you responded with a shy grin back at him.

He made sure to always use the door after that, usually waiting until he got to the desk to pull out his ID, giving him a chance to chat with you. Your friendship quickly blossomed, and you both developed feelings for each other. Not that either of you would admit it out of fear the other wouldn’t feel the same.

Right now, he would just teleport home, since your friendly face wouldn’t be there to greet him with a smile. He didn’t really want to go, but he also didn’t want to overstay his welcome. You hadn’t given him any reason to think he had, it was just his nature to believe that was so.

“I had better take my leave before it gets too late,” he told you, making to stand up.

“No!” you shouted with an unexpected urgency. “Uh, what I mean is that you shouldn’t go out in this storm. Why don’t you stay the night here? If that’s not weird, of course.”

His heart beat a little faster as you desperately clung to his hand. Of course he could tell you that it was no trouble; with his magic, he wouldn’t have to set foot outside. But he could tell this was about something more than you were saying. Besides, who was he to turn down some more time with you?

“It is not weird at all, darling,” he replied, getting comfortable on the couch once more. “It sounds like a wonderful idea. Thank you for the offer.”

“You’re welcome.”

He brought his arms around you and hugged you to his chest, gently running his hand up and down your arm in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. From the way you relaxed against him, he supposed that it was. As the episode you were watching finished, you flipped through the channels and landed on the Food Network. The food on the screen caused an embarrassingly loud grumble in your stomach, but Loki just beamed at you.

“Are you hungry, darling?” he asked. “Perhaps I could make us a snack?”

“I’m the host,” you replied, with a shake of your head. “I should be providing the food.”

“How about we make it together then?” he suggested. “What would you like?”

“I’m craving nachos right now, if that’s fine with you.” You were met with a blank stare. “Do you not know what nachos are?” you exclaimed in disbelief.

“I am afraid I do not,” he chuckled. It never ceases to amaze you how there was always some other new Midgardian food to introduce him to. “I will gladly try them, though. You will have to take the lead on the cooking, of course.”

You nodded your head and led him to your kitchen, pulling out the ingredients you’d need. You cooked the chicken while Loki cut up the tomatoes and lettuce. You instructed Loki on how to prepare the rest of the toppings while you melted the cheese on the chips. All the delicious aromas filling the kitchen only served to make your stomach growl louder. You sheepishly giggled as the both of you loaded up the plate with everything you’d made.

“Are they ready, then?” Loki asked. “Should I try it?”

You excitedly nodded yes. He picked up a chip with all the toppings on it. He sniffed at it before closing his eyes and taking a delicate bite. His eyes shot open in excitement as the flavors exploded on his tongue. He quickly polished off the rest of the chip.

“It is delicious, darling! You are quite the talented chef, you know.”

You shifted your weight, never sure how to react to a compliment. “Thanks, Loki. You are too.”

He gestured to the plate, and you took your first bite. As you stood at the counter, chatting and eating, you almost forgot about the storm raging on outside. Well, that was until you finished the dish, and thunder sounded once more, the rain attacking with a revived fury.

“Do you wish to go to bed now?” he inquired, mistaking your masked fear as exhaustion. “I hope I have not kept you up.”

“No, not at all,” you were quick to reassure him. “Actually, I want to stay up a while longer. We could even make a pillow fort! That is if, uh, if you wanted to.”

“That sounds like a splendid idea, darling.”

You’d introduced him to the notion the first time the two of you were up late together, and he’d taken to it immediately. You’d suggested he should be the prince of the fort, but he’d insisted that you take on the role of monarch. He did the same now as you gathered the pillows, blankets, and cushions, setting to work building your haven on the floor and couch.

“Well, darling,” he said, leaning back and pulling you with him, “I think we did a pretty good job.”

“Even better than last time,” you agreed.

As you turned the TV back on, you found you were more interested in studying Loki’s face than watching the movie he’d picked. He was so beautiful, down to every last detail. Realizing the sheer number of times his perfect, pink lips had formed the word darling made your heart skip a beat or two. He’d been saying it since he first met you, but it was different now; softer, more caring. He thought what was actually a thrill induced shiver was a sign that you were cold, and carefully draped a blanket around your shoulders, holding you even closer than before.

“Are you truly feeling alright?” he fretted. “You are not feeling ill, are you?”

“No, Loki. Don’t worry. I’m totally and completely fi-”

Thunder cut off your sentence once more, and you whimpered, confirming his suspicions from earlier. Before you could explain the involuntary reaction away, Loki cupped your cheeks and looked deep into your eyes.

“Darling!” he exclaimed. “You are afraid of the thunder.”

“I am,” you wailed, burying your head in your hands as his arms wrapped around you. He held your head to his chest, rocking back and forth ever so slightly. “I am. This is so embarrassing.”

“Nonsense. I am rather terrified of it, too. Far too many unpleasant memories of Thor’s temper tantrums and combat training,” he grimaced. “Does it carry the same kind of horrid association for you?”

“Mhm. When I was a kid,” you said, taking a deep breath, “a bolt of lightning struck the tree in my front yard. It fell over, and the entire house was soon engulfed with flames. My family and I were all ok, but it was scary.”

“And understandably so!” he comforted you. “I am so sorry you went through something so horrid. I promise you are safe here with me, though. I will never let anything harm you.”

You lifted your head and looked into his eyes, only to bury it back in the crook of his neck at another clap of thunder. He rubbed your back again and comfortingly shushed you as you whimpered more, reassuring you that you would be alright. That he would make sure of it. All of a sudden, that was the only noise you were hearing. Well, that and the TV. Everything else went quiet. You dared to peek up, and saw Loki smiling at you, but with concern in his eyes.

“What happened?” you asked, perplexed by the sudden silence of the storm outside.

“I have cast a spell. A bubble of silence of sorts,” he replied. “It is a talent I developed for when things get really bad.”

“Thank you. It’s perfect.”

“You are welcome,” he whispered as you snuggled closer to him. He placed a kiss to your head and immediately feared he’d overstepped. “I am sorry, darling. I hope I have not made you uncomfortable.”

“On the contrary,” you said, pecking him on the lips, “I wouldn’t mind more.”

He recovered quickly from his shock and moved to kiss you again. It was sweet and gentle, yet you were drowning. Drowning in his scent, his taste, his everything. But you didn’t mind. If the air was taken from your lungs, this was a good way to go.

“I love you, Loki,” you said, a radiant smile gracing your face.

“And I you, my darling.”

As you kissed again, you thought that thunderstorms might not be that bad, after all.

[go-dark-turtle]

A day off with an opportunity and a rescue mission?

(A Mario x Nintendo loop crossover fanfiction) 

Chapter 2: Now it's personal.

 "Say Toad, where did you get that lighting bolt?" Luigi leaned closer as he held onto Toad's headrest. 

Toad sat in the driver's seat of the Parade Kart, he was just about the right height to see the road. His eyes fixed on the road as they drove back down the bumpy hill towards Princess Peach's castle. 

"Oh! Well when I ran off to smash some vases I found one in there and kept it in case we had to make a grand exit. We sure did ha ha ha." Toad laughed "Served them right, taking the princess like that." 

Luigi sat back down and looked behind him and saw the mansion was still small, he sighed and folded his arms "You guys didn't have to wreck the place..." 

"Luigi! We were worried about you and we had to find you quickly." Mario nodded to his brother. 

Luigi huffed and looked to Yoshi "... and you, did you have to eat those curtains?" 

Yoshi shrugged and rolled his eyes. Luigi, feeling more fed up, sighed more and rested his arm on the side and looked at the view heading back to the castle. 

Meanwhile....

Everyone in the mansion had met in the lobby as everything started to shake and become smaller. Andi rushed to Irri's side and helped him up as BreadSquid and Ralfonic ran in from the tea room.

"Gah! We have to go after them at once! I won't allow what they did to MY lobby!" Irri demanded in a squeaky tone as he dusted himself down . 

Andi and BreadSquid started to laugh and Irri glared at him, they both looked to the floor with the odd giggle. 

Irri sighed "If you two would stop acting like children, we can see where they went! To the car!" 

They walked towards the main doors still broken from earlier, the whole mansion started to rumble all around them as everything went back to normal.

"Sorry boss.." BreadSquid let out a small giggle

"Yeah sorry.." Andi bit his lip to hold in his laughter.

Irri rolled his eyes, huffed at the both of them. Andi ran on ahead to push aside the broken door out the way. Everyone ran out and Irri saw the damage that Mario and the gang had left for them. 

"Ack! My beautiful fountain! That took 3 months to build and now there's a damn kart in it!" Irri clenched his fists and turned to Andi, who was just standing there. "Come on, what are you waiting for?! Get the car and let's go!" 

"Irri... they took Goldie.." Andi started to sniffle and he turned around and held onto his shoulders and burst into tears "They took my precious car Irri..." 

"Eww, you nicknamed your car Andi?" BreadSquid placed her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrow. 

"Yes I nicknamed my car. She is mine you know!" Andi turned his head to the inkling, he rubbed his nose into his sleeve and sniffed again. 

"Ugh, Andi here have this and sort yourself out." Irri reached in his pocket and pulled out a packet of tissues, he gently passed them to Andi. He then started paced up and down the pathway thinking on what to do next. "Aha! I've got it!" 

Andi and Breadsquid glared at each other and Irri cleared his throat and pulled out his flip phone, with a flick of the wrist, he pointed it to the sky and smirked. 

"I can summon a car with this trusty mobile device!" Irri stood proudly with the old school phone in his hand skyward. 

"So dramatic.... Uh boss, you know that model is like 15 years old now..." Breadsquid folded her arms.

"Well I don't see any new phone working on Boo network now do you?" Irri smugly smiled and walked down the path and started to punch in the numbers.

"I mean it's true, no one uses Boo network anymore, Irri." Andi poundered to himself.

"Shh!" Irri covered the speaker with his hand and glared at Andi before continuing his telephone conversation. "Ah yes, hello there, we wish to summon one of your finest taxis please. Oh what's that? My address? Ah yes of course, it's south of south Toad Town, Irri house. Excuse me? What do you mean you don't know where that is?! Ugh, don't get sassy with me, just drive south and you can't miss it. How long? 25 minutes?! Alright, fine! But please hurry, this is an emergency! Good day!" Irri let out an angry sigh.

He snapped his flippy phone shut with a loud SNAP and shoved it in his pocket and shrugged at the others. 

"Well it looks like we can't do anything until the taxi gets here. Tea and scones anyone?" Irri smiled at the others.

"Ah boss you read my mind, a cup of tea sounds lovely after everything we've just been through." BreadSquid jumped up with excitement and then turned to Andi, who was sitting on the step, sighing to himself "Oh come on Andi cheer up, we will get your karty back soon." 

"Goldie actually. Bready get the name right..." Andi huffed stood up and walked down the steps.

"Oh sorry I got your stupid car's name wrong." Breadsquid scoffed and looked up at him.

"My car isn't stupid. How dare you!" Andi huffed.

Ralfonic growled and stood in between them baring his teeth. 

"No Ralf, I won't back down Bready said my car was stupid" Andi folded his arms and looked down at BreadSquid. 

"Says the one nicknaming their car..." BreadSquid wiggled her eyebrows.

"Well I'm just going to get myself a tea. Have fun... Come along Ralfonic. " Irri stepped past them both and entered back into the house. "Call me when the taxi gets here won't you."

Andi stared down at the inkling, she smirked, her hand at the ready by her splat bomb. Andi reached slowly for his back pocket for his lighting bolt.

"What are you gonna do Andi?" BreadSquid smirked.

"Me? Ha! You shouldn't worry about that." Andi smirked back. 

"Well what are you waiting for? DRAW!" BreadSquid encouraged. 

"If you say so!" Andi raised his eyebrow. 

They both fired at the same time, the lightning bolt struck BreadSquid and the splat bomb landed on Andi. Ralfonic watched from the window, curious what was going on.

"Ralfonic, I wouldn't stand too close to the window dear, you might get zapped or splatted." Irri was sitting on the velvet sofa and enjoying a warm cup of tea. 

Ralfonic nodded and sat beside him and looked up to him, Irri smiled down at the wolf and petted his head. 

"Just stay by me and pay no attention to them." Irri sighed as he heard them both squeal and argue. 

"ANDI!" BreadSquid shouted at him as she got smaller and her voice became more squeaky.

"Ha ha ha. Serves you right for what you did. Look at my shirt, it's covered in purple stuff..." Andi groaned at the ink splattered over him. 

"Ha ha ha ha. That's what you get for challenging me Andi." She pulled out her N-Zap 89 and pointed it at him. "And just so you know Andi, it's not purple stuff, it's ink get it right."

"Don't you dare Bready! I will snipe you with my green shells!" Andi smirked.

BreadSquid shot ink ahead of her, turning into squid form and swam into the mansion. Andi shook his head, pulling out a green shell and smacked her right on target. BreadSquid returned to normal size but due to the impact of the sudden snipe of the green shell, she went flying into the tea room. Andi ran up the stairs and pointed at her and laughed.

"HA! I told you!" Andi chuckled. 

"Oh you are DEAD Andi!" BreadSquid used the table to help get her balance back. 

Irri sipped his tea and watched them exchange words with a deadpan expression, BreadSquid smirked at Andi and tried to pull out another splat bomb but Andi nudged her and threw another lighting bolt at her.

"ANDI!" Breadsquid shouted in a squeaky voice again.  "Come here!" 

"Pfft, you are so tiny, Bready. Look at you so small~" Andi smirked and pointed at her. 

BreadSquid pouted, shot Andi with her N-Zap 89 and sneaked out the room. Andi fell backwards on the table, the plate of the scones went into the air. Ralfonic saw them fly and he grabbed the plate and dashed about gracefully catching them all. Irri nodded to the wolf and smiled. Andi quickly scrambled out the room to find BreadSquid, he stood on the landing of the top floor looking up and down the hallway. He giggled slightly as he approached the stairs.

 

"Oh Andi my dear, please do not think about sliding down the banister." Irri called out.

Andi had already climbed onto the banister, paused in his tracks and his eyes widened. It was like he knew what he was thinking but it was a known habit at this point. 

"Uh, I wouldn't dream of it, Irri...." Andi called back with a nervous laugh. 

Once everything fell quiet again Andi let out a breath of relief, knowing he was alone he smirked and pushed himself downwards.

"EEEEEEEEEERIKA!" Andi giggled with glee as he felt like a kid as he slid down the banister. 

He jumped off at the end and sneaked about the main lobby and bumped into BreadSquid. He flinched and BreadSquid grinned.

"Oh you lied to Irri, I'm SO telling him. Hey Boss!" Breadsquid smirked and nudged past him and started to run up the stairs. 

"Bready, no, stop please, don't tell Irri." He chased after her and pulled out another green shell "Come on Bready! We are fellow guardians, no need to be like this." 

"Boss, Boss, Boss, GUESS WHAT?" Bready smirked. 

"Irri, don't believe what Bready is saying. She is lying!" Andi nudged past her and threw the shell at her feet. 

Bready smirked "So predictable Andi..." She shot the shell with her N-Zap 89. 

They both rushed to the top landing nudging and shoving to get to the tea room first, but a sudden honk from outside stopped them both in the tracks. 

"Uh... is that the taxi?" Andi whispered to BreadSquid.

"I don't know. Maybe you should check." BreadSquid whispered back.

"No, you!" Andi pointed at her.

"No, you Andi!" BreadSquid folded her arms.

Andi pushed her and she shoved him back, they both started to pout. They glared at each other unaware that Irri was right behind them.

He cleared his throat and smiled "Would you both be a dear and check to see if that is the taxi, hm?"

The both of them jumped out their skins and turned around so see a not impressed Irri raise his eyebrow at them. 

"Well see, I was going to but then Andi..." BreadSquid quickly spoke but got pulled back by Andi. 

"I didn't do anything. Bready started this, don't believe what she tells you!" Andi stepped forward and held BreadSquid back

Irri sighed and held the bridge of his nose as the honking got louder and more frequently from outside and the both of them started to shove each other again.

"WOULD YOU BOTH GO AND SEE IF THE TAXI HAS ARRIVED, PLEASE!" Irri shouted at them both. 

Seeing the sudden change in Irri's attitude both of the guardians scrambled down the stairs as quickly as they could. Ralfonic lowly grunted as he stood at the top of the stairs by Irri. 

"Hey boss, the taxi is here! Oi Andi, that front seat is mine!" BreadSquid called back into the house. 

"No! That seat is mine! Have fun sitting in the back Bready~" Andi smirked as he opened the front passenger door and sat down. 

BreadSquid, annoyed, folded her arms and waited for Irri and Ralfonic. Everyone got in the back seat with Irri sitting in the middle, BreadSquid sitting behind the driver and Ralfonic sitting behind Andi. 

"Alright then, where are we off to?" The driver asked in a posh voice, the driver turned out to be none other than Toadsworth himself. 

"TOADSWORTH?!" Everyone was surprised. 

"Of course, the one and only." He turned around smiling but it faded when seeing Ralfonic "I wasn't informed there would be a dog in my taxi. No pets allowed." 

"Excuse me?! Ralfonic is a wolf, not a dog. How dare you!" Irri leaned closer and glared at Toadsworth. 

"Oh you are in big trouble now, you better apologise." Andi whispered. 

"Ah! A wolf you said. Oh, my mistake I'M, terribly sorry." Toadsworth turned back around nervously chuckling. 

Ralfonic huffed and sighed loudly. Irri noticed his behaviour and sat closer to him.

"Shh, it's okay, Ralfonic. He didn't mean to call you a dog, no please, don't howl..." Irri petted his head again to console him. 

"AWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ralfonic howled loudly. 

Everyone covered their ears and clenched  their eyes shut. 

"Oh look what you've gone and done. He's upset because of you!" Irri shouted over the howling. 

"I said I was sorry!" Toadsworth felt bad for the mixup. 

"Ah boss, I have an idea. Here take this." BreadSquid pulled out her switch and gave it to Irri. 

"Good thinking BreadSquid. Hey Ralfonic look Miitopia, it's your favourite." Irri placed the Switch in front of him. 

Ralfonic stopped howling and looked at the screen and wagged his tail. Everyone sighed with relief. 

"If you could please, could you drive us to Princess Peach's castle? Thank you." Irri sighed as he leaned back in his seat. 

"Certainly." Toadsworth reversed the taxi and drove past the broken gates and drove back down the bumpy hill at a steady slow pace.

[Mario Circuit from Super Mario kart totally plays here]

"Soon, we will have our car back and I can ask Princess Peach for a replacement of my velvet curtains... and pay for the damages to my lobby and my fountain..." Irri folded his arms and closed his eyes and nodded.

"Ah soon Goldie, I will be at your side." Andi clasped his hands together. 

"Ohhh~ Goldie, baby, mwah mwah mwah, I wuv you." BreadSquid mocked Andi. 

"Shut it Bready!" Andi turned around and glared "Don't make me.. uh..." he stopped as he saw Irri shake his head and glare at him. "We will talk about this later, Bready." 

"Sure Andi~" BreadSquid smirked but then it faded as she looked out the window and saw how slowly they were driving. "OI GRAMPS! Mind speeding it up a little? We have places to be, you know."

"Gramps?! How dare you!" Toadsworth's eye twitched. "Fine as you wish!"

Toadsworth shifted the gear stick forward and pressed his foot down on the accelerator pedal. Everyone was flung backwards into their seats and braced for the fast and bumpy ride. 

"You just had to go and open your big mouth, didn't you!" Andi nervously hung onto the handrail above him seeing everything up close from the front seat. 

"Oh shut it Andi, at least we are getting somewhere now!" BreadSquid smirked.

"Andi, BreadSquid, we can talk about this later. Toadsworth please slow down." Irri asked nicely. 

"We are nearly there, hang on tight." Toadsworth grinned as he entered Toad Town. 

He swerved the taxi about the town, missing everything and everyone with an inch to spare. The townspeople screamed and ran for it seeing the small taxi come towards them. 

"Toadsworth, this is great, keep going!" BreadSquid jumped up and down in her seat. 

"You got it!" Toadsworth smirked and drove even faster towards the castle "Look just up ahead just another minute and we are there." 

He took a shortcut and drove off a ramp and glided all the way to the castle's front gates. Andi closed his eyes from the intense height before him. BreadSquid was still excited in the backseat and Irri petted Ralfonic to keep him calm. Toadsworth tilted the car upwards and came in for a landing. THUD! The taxi landed with such an impact everyone jumped out of their seats.  

"Here we are. Princess Peach's castle." Toadsworth smiled. 

[End of part 1]

[celsidebottom]

Some of my favorite lines from RQGG today (minus the bits where they read things in character because there are already so many)

“The banana forests of Scandinavia”

“Baby Empty.  YEET”

“#DropTheChild”

“Alexander Jail Newall”

“Tell me of the ghost rotor”

“We still got to use the ruler and that’s valuable in and of itself”

“The secret is the fourth dimension”

“The subgame of removing the bodies”

“Oh look!  Jonny’s named someone Michael!”

“When I give you guys power… boy do you go ham”

“HE’S A BAD COW”

“Sean Bean is an ancient being”

“Helen’s being filthy!!!”

“What’s a lead in line for Sean Bean?  Oh, bastard.”

“The cow has replaced everything”

“It’s really simple: Sean Bean is older than time itself.  He’s also fifteen people.  You are one fifteenth of Sean Bean. “

“Spies are inherently sexy”

“Convene the beans!”  “Bean con!”  “By all means, convene the beans!”  “The scene of beans has been seen”

“All aboard the tea trolley”

“Let’s round up some children”

“On stream, we’re family friendly so no families are dead”

“Three strong, northern, craggy dads”

“Immersed amongst the present spikes”

“I’ve got lots of money under my clothes”

“If there’s one thing I like more than money, it’s naked poor people”

“Come with me into the sexatorium”

“Our sexatoriums are drastically underfunded”

“The coolant pigs”

“My cat believes I am so incompetent that he brought me a marinated pork loin with a bit of cheese on top”

“I’m ready to Santa… the proper way”

“There are Macedonian… cosplayers…”  “Not in Sheffield!”

“For the sake of time, I’m just going to say you failed”

“Visit the north!  We’ve got above average schools!  Do you like cities?  We’ve got a few!”

“Imagine a three piece hazmat suit”

“It’s neck o’clock! Ding ding ding!  Everybody get some neck!”

“I love standing on dogs! Boo me some more!”

“Are you guys up for some mounting?”

“He starts and possibly never ends”

“Too much mounting. Not good for the health.”

“We got some Canadians here? Has Michael Buble come out of hibernation yet?”

“I would wash you like a mummy cat”

“I’ve taken up an extreme sport, say, sky punching”

“We do not speak of the bolo tie.  It is America’s greatest shame”

“I would make you a delicious deodorant pie and kill two birds with one stone.  And maybe you!”

“That I want to lick your armpit during sex is a bad thing?”

“I like stabbing people. Who would you stab, and why?”

“Cars Movie 5: Weird Sex Car”

“No third party lubricant for this guy!”

“You can’t get a good crumb on a child”

“That cacophony is the screams of our fans”  “Aww, that’s so personal!”

“I never took any anatomy classes.  I hear that was good call”

“CORN SMUT”

“Interwstong”

“What’s the difference between most people and dragons?  They don’t fireball themselves”

“Bryn looks like a cross between seventeen corgis and a whole ass dragon” vs “Bryn looks like a cross between a welsh cake and a tomato”

“My family is like Tim: just tremendous” vs “My family is like Tim: Insufferable and omnipresent”

“That cow looks scared of something.”  “It’s probably the knives”

“‘I’m Tim Meredith, I’m a high brow comic!’”

“I like my sex like I like my hummus: with peppers!”

“I came up here in good faith!”  “That was your first mistake.”

“You have to be Boris Johnson forever.”  “That’s the worst fate ever!”

“Zolf can swear! Struck by fucking lightning!”

“If I’m not directly talking I’m not interested”

“He’s a prospector with glorious thighs.  She’s an actual snake.  Haunches and the Snake.  Coming to CBS this fall to be immediately cancelled.”

“Haunches is a good character, you shouldn’t have given him to me.”  “You gave me a beer, it’s fine.”

“Fuck!  Piss!  Shit! They’re all on the table!  Oh no”

“Regular bits Tim”

“You keep your beautiful, chiseled face out of what we have”

“Where the fuck is the pickle?”

“You’re a half pint of horse shit.  You know that?  I take it back.  Full pint.”

“It’s a game about playing cards and trying not to make an erotic atmosphere, Tim.”

“You draw one and then you play?”  “You draw one and then you play.”

“It wasn’t a joke I just like the tiny island”

“It’s pickles all the way down”

“Lovecraft can take it, he’s dead.  Good.”

“I need the wet”

“When’s the last time you pitched a bail of hay, you fraud?”

“I think the last vaguely country thing I did… was carry a load of dead birds”

“Jane Prentiss?  Super good character.”  “I gave those worms a home!”  “And I have the world something to do!”

“This game is a thicc boi”

“This game is a chonky, chonky boi”

“I explained that I work with a podcasting company and she walked away very quickly, so, waitress at Nando’s, thank you for that”

“[A relationship is] not a competition, it’s a fight to the death”

“These are the traits I don’t want Alex to have”  “Insomnia went in the pile, that’s interesting”

“You’re a young ish man”  “That was a very big ‘ish’ and a very quiet ‘young’”

“Marriage is a lot like poker”

“‘I’m over my head in deadlines.’  And then I have a PTSD flashback to my actual life.”

“Aren’t relationships just sexy networking?”

“You ask a man if you can hold his baubles once…”

“Mike is now crowd surfing naked… Unfortunately, the cameras can only pan so wide… I think that’s his hand waving…”

“I’m not used to having emotions, I don’t know what to do with them.”

“Those wholesome bastards are gone now!”

“Asking for a friend.”  “You don’t have friends, Tim”

“I’m going to shuffle slow just to piss off Mike.  It’s just because I’m drunk… I am not abusing the alcohol!  We are in a consensual relationship!”

“A safe play by a safe man.”  “Saucy”

“Deal me in, motherhuggers”

“He knows how to play! That’s cheating!”

“What are we playing?”  “Doesn’t matter.”

“I got dukes coming out the butt!”

“Got dummy thicc stacks”  “Forgive me for being anti-meme but I’m going to take from your stacks… they’re thicc with one c.”

“I don’t trust you.”  “Why do you keep casting me as people who kill people?”  “Because I don’t trust you! What about this doesn’t check out?”

“I’m going to coup Alex because I don’t like having a job”

“Other gods, deities, and belief systems are available.”

[razieltwelve]

Supply and Demand (Final Rose)

“Diana… are you smuggling toilet paper?” Lightning asked.

The eleven-year-old girl looked up from the piles of toilet paper stacked around her. “Define smuggling, mom.”

“…” Lightning’s eyes narrowed. “Please, tell me that you haven’t been hoarding toilet paper, so you can sell it on the black-market in the quarantine zone at an exorbitant markup.”

“Of course, not,” Diana said. “That would be evil, mom.”

“So then where did all of this toilet paper come from?”

“Well, as you know, mom, they’ve quarantined off several major settlements in the southern province. Since the quarantine hit, people there have been hoarding basic necessities like toilet paper and food.” Diana grinned. “Ever since I first heard about the shortages, I’ve been asking myself, how could I make money without being evil?”

“And toilet paper is your answer?”

“Yeah. You see, I was going through the dump the other day, and I found a lot of old machinery from a disused toilet paper factor. Sure, most of the machinery was pretty badly damaged, but you know me. I can fix just about anything.”

“So you fixed it.” Lightning covered her face with one hand. “And you’ve been manufacturing toilet paper ever since.” That explained why Diana had opened the larger entrance to her bunker underneath the backyard.

“Yep.” Diana cackled. “I mean, technically, what I’m doing isn’t illegal. Since the quarantine zone qualifies as a national emergency, they relaxed a lot of the laws around the production of essential goods. As of yesterday morning, I am now an officially registered manufacturer of toiler paper.”

Lightning took a deep breath. “So what are you going to do now?”

“The problem with the quarantine zone, mom, is that they really only get major supply drops twice a week, which means people just stake out the stores and buy up everything twice a week. There are a lot of people who can’t do that for various reasons. Maybe they have to work. Maybe they’re too old. Or maybe they’re just not crazy enough to fight other people for toilet paper.” Diana struck a pose. “Which is where I come in!”

“Oh?”

“You see, mom, I am the proud owner and operator of arguably the most advanced and widespread network of delivery drones in the world. I mean, yeah, Aunt Vanille and I are basically partners, but I handle most of the delivery drone stuff. It would be pretty easy for someone with a fleet of delivery drones to set up mobile InfoNet boosting stations to relieve network traffic enough for anyone who wants toilet paper to make an online order that can be delivered right to their door starting from tomorrow.”

“You know,” Lightning said. “This is actually pretty benevolent for one of your schemes.” Her eyes narrowed. “You’re not price gouging, are you?”

“No need to, mom. There are two main ways to make a profit. You can either sell at low volumes but high profit margins, or you can sell at high volumes and low profit margins. Since I’m the most convenient way to get toilet paper, I’ve been inundated with orders. I’m not charging any more than retail, but I’m still rolling in money.” Diana cackled. “With the money I make selling toilet paper, I’ll definitely be able to fund my next project.”

“And what would that be?”

“I want to take my delivery drone fleet world-wide, mom. I want my drones in every city, every town, every village, and every settlement in the world.” Diana’s grin stretched from ear to ear. “I’ll have eyes and ears everywhere, and you already that all of my drones have at least minor combat capabilities, so they can help law enforcement or huntsmen and huntresses in a pinch.”

“Diana, this had better not be a prelude to an attempt to take over the world.”

“Please, mom, if Aunt Vanille and I actually wanted to take over the world, we’d have taken over it by now, especially now that Raine is around and helping out.”

“…” Lightning sighed. “Well, it’s good that you’re helping people get toilet paper.” She paused. “That is something I never thought I’d say. I don’t suppose you’re working on anything else, are you?”

“I’ve got several vats of hand sanitizer going. I’ll be offering that starting from the day after tomorrow.”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Diana knows how to make money, and this time she doesn’t even have to resort to minor villainy.

If you’re interested in my thoughts on writing and other topics, you can find those here.

You can find my original fiction on Amazon here

[canyousevmyheavydirtysoul]

Bodyguard III: Avengers Assemble (Chapter 2) (Brendon Urie x Reader)

From inside the quinjet, Brendon watched the dark skies, thunder booming all around. Coming out of nowhere, The Director spoke over the comms network.

“Said anything?” he asked, referring to Loki.

“Not a word,” Brendon murmured, tossing a quick look over his shoulder at the restrained god.

“Just get him here. We’re low on time.”

With Loki tied up and cuffed to his seat, Tony and Steve watched from a distance.

“I don’t like it,” Steve spoke.

“What?” Tony wheezed, gently cocking his head in the direction of Loki, “Rock of Ages giving up so easily?”

“I don’t remember it ever being that easy. This guy packs a wallop.”

“Still,” the genius skewed his mouth, “you are pretty spry, for an older fellow. What’s your thing? Pilates?”

Steve squinted, genuinely confused. “What?”

“It’s like calisthenics,” Tony explained, “You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a…” he looked the soldier up and down, “Capsicle.”

Steve looked at Tony, finally meeting his ego match.

“Fury didn’t tell me he was calling you in.”

“Yeah,” Tony puffed, “there’s a lot of things Fury doesn’t tell you.”

The soldier’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly, but before he could respond to the unnerving remark, thunder boomed overhead and lightning struck down, nearly hitting the jet and causing it to shake violently.

“Where’s this coming from?” Natasha frowned, piloting the aircraft so as to avoid getting hit.

Thunder continued rumbling overhead. Loki stared out of the window intently, a slight hint of trepidation on his face.

“What’s the matter?” Brendon called, moving from next to Natasha towards the god, “Scared of a little lightning?”

Looking up, Loki gave an answer. “I’m not overly fond of what follows.”

Outside the jet, a blinding light hit the rooftop. Only it wasn’t a light – it was a King.

Suddenly, the ramp to the quinjet was yanked open and before any of the occupants could react, Thor grabbed Loki by the throat and swung his hammer around a couple times, allowing it to fly both of them away.

Steve, Tony and Brendon were left dumbstruck.

Tony put the Iron Man helmet back on. “Now there’s that guy,” he muttered, starting for the open ramp.

“Another Asgardian,” Brendon noted, reaching out to grab a parachute.

“Think the guy’s a friendly?” Steve inquired, still slightly put off.

“Doesn’t matter. If he frees Loki or kills him, the Tesseract’s lost.” Tony turned and got ready to jump off the jet to chase after Thor.

Securing the clip of the parachute around his chest, Brendon walked over to stand by Tony’s side. Steve looked at them keenly.

“Urie, Stark, we need a plan of attack!”

“We have a plan,” Brendon informed.

Tony turned his head around the tiniest bit, finishing Brendon’s thought, “Attack.”

The two men hurtled themselves out of the jet, falling through the air as they chased after Thor. Steve hastily gathered a parachute and prepared to follow.

“I’d sit this one out, Cap,” Natasha called over her shoulder.

Steve shook his head. “I don’t see how I can.”

Flicking some switches on the control panel, Natasha creased her brow. “These guys come from legends, they’re basically gods.”

“There’s only one God, ma’am,” the Captain said, moving to the edge of the ramp, “And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that.”

~

Somewhere out in the European mountains, the two gods touched down; Thor threw Loki into the side of the mountain and raised Mjölnir. He looked down at his brother with anger – he thought him to be dead all this time, and it was infuriating to see him alive in this fashion.

“Where is the Tesseract?” Thor bellowed, wasting no time.

Loki, using one hand to push himself up as the other clutched his side, laughed heartily. “I missed you, too.”

The god of thunder took a threatening step forward. “Do I look to be in a gaming mood?”

“Oh, you should thank me.” Loki stood up, matching his brother’s stance, and lowered his voice. “With the Bifrost gone, how much dark energy did the Allfather have to muster to conjure you here? Your precious Earth,” he spat.

Thor dropped his hammer, causing the entire mountain to quake. He grabbed Loki by the collar of his cloak. His brother. Although Thor was pissed beyond belief for what Loki had done, family meant everything to a man – and especially to a god.

“I thought you dead,” Thor said softly.

“Did you mourn?”

“We all did. Our father-“

Loki raised a finger, cutting him off and correcting him. “Your father. He did tell you my true parentage, did he not?”

Thor let Loki go, and the god of mischief walked away from his brother. As the ground distance between them grew, so did the wedge in their relationship. Determined to get through to his little brother, Thor walked after him.

“We were raised together, we played together, we fought together. Do you remember none of that?” he implored.

Turning around, Loki answered solemnly. “I remember a shadow. Living in the shade of your greatness. I remember you tossing me into an abyss. I who was and should be king!”

“So you take the world I love as recompense for your imagined slights?” Thor scoffed, holding out one hand and shaking his head, “No, the earth is under Asgardian protection, Loki.”

Another laugh. “And you and our dear cousin are doing a marvellous job with that,” Loki said sarcastically, extending his arms and leaning forward, “The humans slaughter each other in droves while you idly threat. I mean to rule them. Why should I not?”

“You think yourself above them.”

Loki looked taken aback, as if the answer was so incredibly obvious. “Well, yes.”

“Then you miss the truth of ruling, brother. Throne would suit you ill.”

Angrily, Loki shoved Thor to the side. He walked back up to the ledge, then turned around.

“I’ve seen worlds you’ve never known about! I have grown, Odinson, in my exile! I have seen the true power of the Tesseract, and when I wield it…”

Thor hurriedly started forward. “Who showed you this power? Who controls the would-be-king?”

“I am a king!” Loki yelled.

“Not here!” Thor yelled back, grabbing his brother yet again, “You give up the Tesseract! You give up this poisonous dream!” His voice and his face softened. “You come home.”

“I don’t have it.” Loki replied simply. “You need the cube to bring me home, but I’ve sent it off I know not where.”

Thor held his hand out, and Mjölnir flew back to his grasp. “You listen well, brother. I-“

Out of nowhere, Thor was knocked off of the mountain by Iron Man, who tackled him mid-flight.

Loki raised one brow. “I’m listening.”

Down below, Thor and Iron Man crashed into the forest. The Asgardian rolled himself onto his feet; Iron Man was still standing, and next to him – Brendon.

The two kept their distance, since they had no idea what the stranger’s next move was going to be. Tony’s helmet opened up.

“Do not touch me again!” Thor warned.

“Then don’t take my stuff,” Tony retorted.

Now fully upright, Thor stared both men down. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with.”

Brendon tossed a quick look at Tony, then focused on Thor, taking note of his otherworldly attire. “Shakespeare in the park?” he scoffed, arching one brow.

Taking the joke further, Tony piped up, waving his arms around dramatically. “Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?”

Clenching his jaw, Thor grumbled under his breath. “This is beyond you, metal man. Loki will face Asgardian justice!”

“He gives up the Cube, he’s all yours. Until then, stay out of our way…tourist.”

The Iron Man helmet clamped up and Tony began walking away. In one quick move, Thor pulled Mjölnir, threw it, and knocked Iron Man clear across the way, into a tree.

Inside the suit, Tony tilted his head to the side. “Okay.”

From the mountain side, Loki rested himself against a rock, watching in amusement. Brendon caught sight of the god out of the corner of his eye and – realising that due to his lack of godly superpowers or an Iron Man suit, he was not fit to partake in the battle that was about to occur – he started up the base of the mountain, rushing to get to Loki and make sure he wouldn’t escape.

Thor raised his hand, the hammer flying back to him. He swung the weapon, summoning a ray of energy. Iron Man stood up and from his hand repulsors, shot a blast of energy that knocked the god on his ass. Flying up, he knocked Thor into a tree.

Kneeling on the ground, Thor pulled Mjölnir to his hand, raising it to the skies and summoning lightning and thunder. He pointed the hammer at Iron Man and the outpouring of lightning bolts increased in intensity. Tony fell back.

The battle continued on for a solid five minutes, which each male increasing their power with each strike, determining to overpower and outsmart the other. Right before it could escalate into a dire situation, a vibranium shield ricocheted off of both Thor and Iron Man, stopping them.

Both of them looked up, and saw Captain America standing on top of a fallen tree, with the shield back in hand.

“Hey!” the soldier yelled, “That’s enough!” Jumping down, he looked at Thor. “Now, I don’t know what you plan on doing here…”

“I’ve come here to put an end to Loki’s schemes!” Thor explained himself.

“Then prove it! Put the hammer down,” Steve challenged.

Iron Man stepped in. “Um, yeah, no! Bad call! He loves his hammer-“

Thor backhanded Iron Man with almost zero effort, sending him flying across the land. Losing all tolerance with this sentential of liberty, he raised the hammer.

“You want me to put the hammer down?!” Thor roared.

The god leapt high into the air, lifting Mjölnir. Captain America crouched down, holding up his shield. Thor began bringing the hammer down, lightning following with it.

The hammer didn’t come near the Captain, however, as its power met its match in the form of a high density cryo-blast. The collision of power caused a massive implosion of light, sending a huge shockwave through the forest, blowing up anything standing within a one-mile radius.

Iron Man stood up, looking around like ‘holy shit’. Crouching down right next to him was Cap, whose eyes were glued on the two figures in front of him.

Thor and you.

Raising your head slowly and lowering your icy, blue hand, you looked at each man in turn with an arched brow. “Gentlemen…are we done here?”

_______________________________

Thank you for reading x

Taglist:

@arosebyname @avengertrash21 @tiffisnotnormal  @darknessdancing @raversam @theieroenthusiast @the-ghost-of-hemingway @laerkers @peters-vlogs @hockeyswag-boll  @username-number-01834 @untilyouburnallofthewitches @underscoredarcy  @aminasmells @becausebands @converseskyline  @vinyloider @attractiveugly  @twentzyonepirates  @tegan-eva @i-only-date-flower-boys @jishwatylrandtop  @blueskiesbleakeyes @robinruns @hi-ho-and-hello @svintsandghosts  @iamafishandigosplish  @sunshineandapplepie @kealohilani-tepise  @bookworm104 @sheridans-dynamos @justawriterinprogress  @anotherwriterinprogress @sillylandcalzonespy

[kur0kvmi]

The Menacing Mind of Felix Lombardi-Act 2

I peek through the door glass one more time, to make sure I’m not hallucinating. Yep. Ami Fujinami in the mother, fucking flesh. 

“Felix? I know you’re in there, open up” Ami said, in between repeatedly knocking

“Yea I’ll open it up in a minute” I said as I frantically searched for a clean pair of sweatpants to wear.

Ami and I have known each other for the entirety of the 2 years I’ve been living at this apartment. She and her Grandma have taken pretty good care of me seeing as I’m not exactly the best at it. 

“Hi Ami, what brings you here?” I asked, trying to push out the conversation with my brother from my mind

“Well, a strange man in a dark blue suit was here yesterday and he gave me 2 tickets to Mysticon” 

And then it call comes rushing back

“Wow that’s weird, well have fun” I said as I tried to close the door on her, only for her to stop the door from shutting.

“He said he was your brother, and that I should ask you to go with me” Ami said, slowly edging towards me like she was trying to get a good look at the reflection in my eyeballs.

“Well, I have no idea who you’re talking about. I don’t have a brothe-”

“Hello? Mr. Lombardi? He said exactly what you said he’d say. Mhmm That he doesn't have a brother. Should I hand him the phone? Ok. Ok. I’ll tell him.” 

Oh fuck.

“He says if you don’t go to Mysticon with me, I should tell Obaa-san to lock you out of the wifi for a month” Ami said, in the most perfunctory tone imaginable.

“First of all, you can’t do tha-”

“Yes. Yes I can. And to be honest, I don’t care if Mr. Lombardi is your real brother or not, I want to go to Mysticon, and I don’t care who with. So you’re going with me Felix.” Despite the fact that Ami was more or less extorting a date out of me, she did so with the gusto and demeanor of a middle schooler who just won a spelling bee. 

“Why couldn’t you just go by yourself?”

“The deal is, I take you, and I get a free ticket. Mr. Lombardi was very clear about this” 

“So I have no choice”

“None at all”

“Alright. Come knock on my door on saturday”

“It is Saturday, you bum”

“Why aren’t we using your car?” Ami moaned as we exited the building. 

“The train is faster” I said, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of my jacket.

“Mysticon is in Hells Kitchen right?” Ami asked, whilst reaching into her backpack

“Yup, and it’s...3pm, traffic will be annoying, and I don’t wanna worry about driving back if I buy weed.” I said, pulling out my lighter

“What have I told you about smoking when you’re next to me.” Ami said, pulling out a batton, then flicking it to extend it’s length. 

I put the cig back in the pack, whilst prompting her to sheathe her weapon. Throughout the journey my mind is racing. Ami and I hanging out again? It’s not that I like her or anything, it’s just that I kind of missed her. Hey I’m allowed to have feelings aren’t I? I’m sure you’re wondering “but Felix, if you missed hanging out with her, why did you stop talking to her?” Why yes fair reader, that’s a very adequate question, however the nature of our relationship isn’t that simple. Ami is kind of an all around nerd aficionado, she cosplays, she writes fanfics, she draws, she sings anime openings on youtube, it’s kind of scary how much she does all over the place. Recently she’s started to get really famous online, she’s started to devote a lot more time to it, and She started ghosting. Being distant... And you know me, I ain’t exactly a butterfly myself, so we just drifted apart. She should be making money on youtube, couldn’t she just get her own tickets?

“Obaa San wouldn’t let me” Ami said as we reached the station. “She’s against anime conventions on principle”. 

“Is this about a ‘Japan is more than anime’ thing?” I asked, shifting over to the right as I stepped on the escalator so I could walk down past the standers.

“No that’s more my parents. Baa san is a reeeeaaally old school Otaku.”

“Then what’s her beef with anime conventions?”

“She thinks they’re ‘commodified caricatures of otaku culture’ or something along those lines” Ami said as we hopped on the train.

Granny Fujinami isn’t wrong in the slightest.

“So she won’t be mad at you for going?” 

“She’s only letting me go because I’m going with you. It’s aaalways about you with her.”

“Not my fault i’m the grandson she never had” I said while making a mocking face at Ami.

“She only loves you cuz you’re a broken mess she can nurture. You’re like my dad. Ugh, you’re like all men really.”

Ouch.

“Ouch.” 

“Suck it up loser.” Ami said, shifting her direction away from me. 

“You’re so cute when you go all Tsun” I said, pulling out my phone.

“That would imply me having any ‘dere’ for you.” Ami snapped back.

So hot.

[At the Convention]

What’s going on what’s going on going on. Everyone’s looking at us. Well I guess I am walking next to Amura. Yes that’s Ami’s social media name, you try coming up with something better at 12. Mine’s [REDACTED]. This is not what I signed up for. Louis Othello Lombardi you fucking bastard. You knew this would happen. You did your homework on Ami and figured out she’d be a lightning rod for attention. Keep me around her, and I’m bound to be assaulted by nothing. But. Fucking. People.

“OH MY GOD IT’S AMURA!” Two young girls screamed. “But I heard you weren't coming? You said so on twitter :(.“ I swear to almighty Haruhi Suzumiya, if there was such a thing as a frowny face emoji in real life, whatever that girl did was damn close. 

“Well change of plans ^_^” Oh my god, Ami can speak emoji too!

“So what panels are you going to? I heard Gail has a panel about anime piracy” Said one of the fangirls, angling towards it on the con directory. 

“Gail from Crunchyroll?” 

“Sounds fun! Felix, ikimasu!” Whoever this version of Ami was, I wanted NO PARTS. 

“Sounds lame. I’m going to the arcade.” I was putting my foot down

“Ok cool. Hand me your pass then. You can pay on your own.” 

“You can’t do tha-”

“Yes. Yes I can. You want this pass?.” Ami pulled out the 3 day convention pass out of her purse and dangled it in front of me. Obviously I tried snatching at it, only for Ami to move it out of the way. Damn japanese reflexes.

“Gotta be quicker than that. We’re going to the panel. Follow me.” Ami said, tossing me the pass.

“If you sneak off, I’m calling Obaa chan.” she said, in that her perfunctory yet declaratory way.  

“...So what you end up having is an environment where it’s harder and harder for us to justify hosting servers for anime distribution, because they don’t wanna pa- *ahem* because piracy.” Or something to that effect I’m not really listening to this Gail lady.

Anime piracy is a dumb thing to have a panel about anyway, it’s not like anybody in this room even knows how to torrent off wonwons, let alone\ how find the right codec for shows with bad compression. These are a bunch of crunchycores. The kinds of anime fans so hopped up on seasonal hype that the mere thought of an anime older than 12 months makes their tongues run dry, and their eyes wire shut.

“Are there any questions?”

“You got anything to ask?” chuckled Ami. 

“Why are we here. We both know Kissanime is in your bookmarks” I jeered.

“Networking dummy. I talk to Gail after the panel, and smooth out something over at Crunchyroll” For some reason Ami’s eyes did the dollars signs when she said “crunchyroll”

“In San Francisco? You’d hate it there.”

“I’d make it there. That’s the important part. I’d really make it. I’d be in.” 

“In what?” I said with a look of befuddlement. 

“You wouldn’t understand. You’re basically guaranteed a job after graduation” 

“Hey, don’t make it like tha-”

“Don’t make it like what Felix?” Ami snapped, but less with anger, and more a tired expression.

The Panel was beginning to wind down, and folks were getting up to leave. Ami bounced out of her seat and darted towards the stage. 

“Gaaaaaiiiil! Hiii, I follow you on twitter!” Ami screamed, like a schoolgirl seeing a classmate

“Amura! I follow you too! I love your singing” Gail responded in a surprisingly similar manner.

“Thanks so much, ugh. That means alot l love you and Sailor Bee’s podcast ^_^” This whole display was just. The worst. 

I backed off from the discussion, but I knew I wasn’t gonna be able to make it far without incurring that good old Fujinami wrath. Jeez they’re taking forever. Is this a meet and greet? Or a job interview. 

“Felix? Oh shit, how you been bruh?” This voice, I recognized it. 

I turned around, and yup, it was Tyler. 

“Who let riff raff like  you in here?” I said as we shook hands

“Is that any way to treat your one black friend:” He responded dryly. 

“I have plenty of black friends. Unlike you, most of my friends are girls.” I shot back. 

“Yea right, if you ever left your yuppie ass play pad I’d believe you.”

“You’d be surprised how many of em recognize me from Ami’s streams.”

“The streams she stopped inviting you to?” 

“Low blow T.” 

Tyler is a friend from Highschool who runs in the same online circles that I do. We keep in touch through discord and trade merchandise on message boards. He’s been trying to break into the FGC since middle school and recently struck a deal with a team based out of Brooklyn, The Mash Masters. He’s pretty good, quick reflexes, consistent muscle memory, but he lacks patience, and his neutral game needs work. 

“Where you headed to after this? Tryna hit up the arcade?” Asked Tyler as he picked up his backpack getting ready to leave. 

“I’m here with Ami, I gotta check and see where she’s headed to” 

“Whooptish” Tyler said, while making a whipping motion. 

“You know it’s not like that bro.” I shot back

“For her it isn’t, for you it is.” he retorted. 

I told him to wait up for a sec as I went over to Ami & Gail. They were still chopping it up like they’d known each other since band camp. 

“Shoot me a DM on twitter whenever you get the chance, I’d love to get you acquainted with the rest of my team. Maybe even talk bringing you to some other cons around the east coast ;)” Naruhodo, it seems this Gail is also of the emoji Clan. 

“Sure thing! Don’t forget to tweet out the channel link with the picture, and tell Vicky I said hi!” Ami said gleefully. 

“I definitely will, but uhh, she hates being called Vicky. Victoria or Sailorbee are just fine.” Gail responded, with a tinge of trepidation.

“Yea, I made that mistake on twitter once, it wasn’t pretty” I said with a chuckle.

“Oh hello, and who might you be?” Asked Gail.

“This is my friend Felix I was telling you about.” Ami said. Wait, telling her about what?

“Ah yes, the animator. Ami showed me your fan animation of Diebuster. Very interesting to see a Gainax show done with heavy Yutapon vibes” This lady knows her stuff.

“This lady knows her stuff” I said to Ami. 

“Of course I do silly, I work in the anime industry” The smile Gail shot me as she said this wouldn’t be out of place in a Shaft anime.  

“You definitely have some real skills. We’re looking for someone to do a sakuga heavy promo for our new youtube ad. If you’re interested, Ami has my contact info. It was so very nice meeting the both of you, don’t forget to keep in touch.” Gail said in a warm, professional tone as she got up to leave. 

“Well she seems nice” I said to Ami. 

“You’re welcome Felix.” Said Ami, in her usual biting tone. 

“I didn’t ask you for that. If I wanted a job at Crunchyroll I’d have one already.”

“‘Thanks Ami, I really appreciate you showing my work to someone really influential who can open doors in my chosen profession, would you like headpats?’” Ami said, in a mocking imitation of my sultry ciciillian speech pattern. 

“First of all, fine, thank you, that was a very nice thing to do, and I was pleasantly surprised. Secondly, do you seriously want headpats?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, you weirdo” And there’s the Tsun again. 

“I ran into Tyler, he says he’s going to the Arcade, and I was looking to go with. You in?”

“Tyler’s here? Yea sure, let’s go” 

Ami & I leave the stage and head over to where Tyler is sitting when I get a text on my phone. 

[11:58. Text from Lou]: Having fun?

[11:58. You]: Yea

He’s just like mom. 

“Oh my god it’s Amura! Could you sign my Fightstick?” Tyler sniggered, his fightstick outstretched. He’s such an asshole I love it. 

“Knock it off, I’d actually sign it if I didn’t know you’d just flip it on Ebay” Ami sneered, arms folded and head angrily tossed to the side. 

“Aww don’t be like that, I really did want your autograph. You’d be surprised how many Blazblue players would pay good cash for one” Tyler said, packing his fightstick back in his backpack. 

“If anyone’s gonna make money off the Amura brand it’s gonna be ME!” Ami retorted viciously.

“Now that’s just anti-black business” I said, chuckling as Tyler dapped me up. 

Ami rolled her eyes as heavy as she could roll them and stomped out of the conference room, and we sheepishly trailed after her.

By this point in the day I’d grown used to Ami being a lightning rod for attention. My camera skills must have leveled up big time from all those pics I had to take, of her with fans. Just getting to the Arcade area of the convention was a whole 20 minutes of photo after photo with weeb after arrested developed weeb, and to be honest I was practicing some big time restraint to not just walk out of the center and catch an Uber home. But surely enough, through fire by force, we found ourselves at the-

Boy was this the kind of place I wanted to be. The whole area was what you’d expect from a high profile convention in a big city. What seemed to be at least 30 TVs all hooked up with consoles spanning an entire auditorium. This wasn’t an arcade, it felt more like a Bazaar crossed with a colosseum. You have your old reliables for the boomers like Street Fighter, MK, ok that’s neat, there’s Melee, 64, Ultimate, Smash 4, oh even Brawl, full house, that’s impressive. As we moved through, you could imagine that there were furrowed brows due to the smell, but in all honesty it wasn’t as bad as most invitationals I’ve been to. We couldn’t find the game we were here for though; Blazblue. Tyler directed us to the kiosk so we could get directions. 

“Nigga where the Blazblue at?” Tyler said to one of the convention attendees, 

All the way at the back, by the Under Night” The Attendee responded.

I was just about ready to dart over there when Tyler said: 

“Nah hol’ up real quick bro, I got a question I gotta ask you” uh oh, I hear the Brooklyn leaking out. 

“Yea? Is there something wrong?” the attendee said, with a befuddled expression.

“Y’all always hide the anime fighters, what's up with that?” Tyler said blankly, almost with no life at all. 

“It’s not my decision where the games are set up-”

“That’s not what I asked bro. I’ve done conventions fam, I sat where you sat. NYCC 2017, bigger con than this, and from what I know about my time there, y’all have a meeting to coordinate where the games are set up. Correct?” Oh my god, Tyler what are you doing. 

“Yes correct” The attendee responded. 

“So you were in the room when the decision was made, correct?” This is so wacky

“Yea, but like, I didn’t have a choi-”

“Nobody’s asking about a choice, I’m asking you, what was the reasoning behind the decision?” Should I stop this? Or?...

“They didn’t want the anime stuff turning folks away” Oh no, here we go

“There it is” Tyler said triumphantly as he began to walk off. 

“Hey, I think it’s bullshit too ma-” t

“Yet you said nothing. You and all your boys said nothing. Aight, I see you fam. Haruhi’s watching you” Tyler said, his back already turned and walking away.  “Let’s go guys”

“Did you have to make such a big hoopla you maniac?” Ami said laughing her ass off. 

“Because I have Principles Fujinami, you should try em some time” Tyler snapped back. 

“That was the FUNNIEST shit I’ve seen all day, I’m so happy I knew to record that” Ami said, still cackling. 

“Wait you recorded that?” Tyler said, shocked

“I uploaded it. Enjoy being a meme” Ami said blankly.

“Not again…” Tyler sighed.

We finally make it to the Blazblue section, and it’s about as serviceable as you’d expect. Two TVs both hooked up to PS4s playing Central Fiction. There wasn’t much of a crowd, about 5 or 6 people, all looked to be around college age, couple on the boomer side though. All guys. 

“This game is so hyperactive…” Ami said, in a tone betwixt judgement and bewilderment. 

“Not every game gotta be Street Fighter” Said Tyler. “Ey yo, who got next?” Tyler asked a portly asian fellow playing Taokaka. 

“Uhh, I dunno, anybody got next?” the Taokaka player asked. The crowd shook their heads. “I guess it’s on you bro after this.” 

Nobody else noticed, But Tyler’s killing intent began to spike. I get you’re excited kiddo, but you haven’t even chewed the scenery yet. 

The game was pretty hype. There it was Taokaka vs Valkenhayn. Both characters with adequate rushdown capabilities and heavy damage. The Valkenhayn was an even match, but the Tao was just catching clutch reversals at every corner. It felt like seeing a tiger beat a lion by leaving a bigger gash every time they left the scuffle. Tyler, ever the professional, was quiet as a mouse. A mouthy prick like him? Quiet? I know right? But he gets like this when it’s Blazblue. The data collection phase. See if Street Fighter is Chess, then Blazblue is Mahjong. The same level of depth, but a wider variety of dealing with situational disadvantages and advantages. Tyler sees what I’m seeing and he’s analyzing, putting his pieces together, he’s not here for fun. This is off the job training. 

“FINISH” 6 red letters on the television screen. Read em & Weep. 

“My turn now right?” Tyler asked the Taokaka player. 

“Yup. What’s your name?” said the Tao player

“Tyro, and you?” oh yea I forgot that was his FGC name, everywhere else he’s Tyrilla. He sucks at names yes I know.

“I’m Yiao, nice to meet you.” Yiao said, pushing his glasses up.

The character selection screen pops up and… Wait don’t tell me he…Oh boy, Tyler’s picking his middle school main. Hazama. Yiao on the other hand started mousing over Tao then over to Litchi. Come on pick a character already. After more mousing, his cursor finally landed on Mai... From rushdown to range spam. Just all around bloodthirst.

Both of them sat in silence as the loading screen started up, until Yiao broke that silence.

“I’ve heard of you, Mash Master Tyro. To be honest I was hoping we’d meet. I have this Mai prepared just for you.” said Yiao. Yawn. This happens all the time. Tyler’s probably got him scoped already too.

“Yiao, third runner up at Anifight Staten Island. Three. Years. Running.” Yup, knew it. Tyler lives for this shit.

“You wanna know why HowRite was able to beat you 3 to nothing last year?” Tyler said, deadpan staring at the screen.

“THE WHEEL OF FATE IS TURNING” oh shit the round is starting.

“Cuz he knew if he lost, he’d never get to face my mentor in the finals”

“But wait. Ulysses isn’t on your team?” Yiao said confused, the backstory here is really weird, I’d be confused as well to be honest. 

“REBEL 1” 

“Ulysses is my stepdad.” 

“ACTION”

Told you. 

End of Act 2. 

[neverwatchedonepiece]

561-562: "A Massive Confused Fight! The Straw Hats vs. The New Fish Man Pirates!" and "Luffy Loses the Fight?! Hordy's Long Awaited Revenge!"

Show me on the doll where the humans hurt you, Hordy!

Oh, that cliffhanger.

That infuriating and awesome cliffhanger.

The plot’s getting juicy now. Hordy Jones has a secret identity! I’m guessing this is what you guys were referring to in the replies. The flashback Toei added of Hordy witnessing a kidnapping probably clashes with this big reveal that’s about to go down.

I really wanted to steam ahead and watch 563 but this is the best time to make some predictions, since I’ll probably get answers right away. At least, I’ll get some about Hordy. I have a feeling I’ll have to wait longer to find out what the deal is about Noah. Still won’t stop me making crackpot theories! 

But before the main event...

Back at the Plaza

Ahhh... this is the Sanji I like to see. The guy who is proficient in all forms of roasting. You’ve got to admit, he gets some good lines. “You damned steamed bun bastard!” Who taught you to roast like that, Sanji? Do all chefs aspire to achieve Gordon Ramsey levels of withering put downs?

I suppose that’s what you get if you take Nami down with an accidental wind blast.

Well, that’s what you get from Sanji. What you get from Nami is repeatedly struck by lightning with her Black Ball trick. But it’s not a trick! She is not a magician. Definitely not. Her techniques are based on science. (Yet another reason to like Nami right there!)

Of course, Zeo, being the brains of the outfit noticed Nami is Sanji’s weak link. He teamed up with Ikaros (the squid guy) to ambush her. Zeo used his camoflage to grip Nami’s feet. When Ikaros came screaming up with a spear, she couldn’t move. She called for help.

Brook was closest. He stepped between Nami and the spear and took the hit.

There was an instant pantsu moment. This confused Ikaros. Whose side was this guy on? Oh, well. Best not worry. Get down to stabbing. Ikaros jabbed Brook several times with his desiccating spear. Incredibly, Ikaros wondered why his spear didn’t work on an Obvious Skeleton. (Maybe he should have taken some of those classes Otohime was running back in the day). 

“I’m pretty dried up already,” Brook explained (if the skeletal features weren’t a big enough clue). “No, really, it’s a long story. About fifty years ago---”

Brook was so ready to tell his entire story to this random Fishman goon who wanted to kill him. Then Iron Franky stomped over and lamped Ikaros in the face. xD

Bemused, Brook looked around the battlefield. A fodder goon coughed politely. “Um, you should maybe watch your feet.”

He’d freaking stepped on Zeo’s face!

The best part? Zeo spun it as a TOTALLY DELIBERATE MOVE. “Ahaha, skeleton! How did you like taking a headbutt to the bottom of your foot? The pain should be with you momentarily.”

Brook, who was probably deeply confused by this point, reverted to politeness. “I’m sorry I stepped on your face!”

Honestly, Brook is hilarious. That whole scene was golden.

Honourable mention must also go to Usopp and Chopper’s teamwork against Daruma (I remembered his name!) and the Big Guy. Their battle experience really showed here. Usopp remembered fighting Mr 4 in Alabasta (the mole one who could dig). Together, they schemed to connect all the tunnels Daruma chewed out. Once Chopper was done, Usopp fired a massive bomb down the connected network and blew that little ratbag into the sky.

That was a good moment. I’ve always liked Usopp’s clever, tactical way of fighting.

Unfortunately, now they’re on the ropes, Hordy’s Head Goons reached for their Roids. I guess the tables will turn on the Strawhats for a while. You know, because a ship of apocalyptic scale falling on top of the island isn’t tense enough. xD

I’m Free.. Free Fallin’

After Hordy put Decken out of commission, Shirahoshi’s brothers finally realised that... hey, maybe swimming directly above the island wasn’t such a good idea. Not quite sure how they found out Hordy had speared Decken. I assume it happened on the deck and they saw the deed done.

Hordy gloated, as per. “Fishman Island will fall and I’ll make sure all your friends die, Strawhat!” Of course, what he should have been doing was watching everyone else. While he gloated, the brothers got the message to Shirahoshi. She swam off to the side. Hordy knew he’d screwed up, so he pursued her. Luffy tried to grab him, but his Devil Fruit powers weakened in water. 

What Hordy also should have been doing was ensuring Decken was dead.

I’m still not convinced Decken is down. I’d actually like him to contribue to Hordy’s downfall. Not because I want to see him redeemed, or anything. Just because it would be more humiliating to Hordy.

At Least He’s Found Another Focus?

The good news, at least, is that Decken touched Hordy Jones with his left hand. Shirahoshi is still marked by his right hand. I hate admitting this but Decken could still do something to help save Fishman Island (or at least amend his own psychotic screw up).

“I’ll hunt you down to the ends of hell. I’ll drive you down physically and mentally. My axe! Hit Hordy!”

Unfortunately, said axe was too heavy. He couldn’t lift it and blacked out.

Useful. Thanks, Decken, you eternal screw-up.

Of course, Noah immediately began to fall. And what I did notice, even before I watched 562, was that Hordy laughed and yelled, “I WIN!!” Like, mate, you are about to destroy Fishman Island. What the hell are you about? He seemed more interested in himself and his own victories than in his vision of the future of Fishman Island.

There was some interesting comparisons to be made between the princes too. Mamboshi and Ryuboshi, upon realising Decken was down and the Noah would fall, said, “Fishman Island is finished!” They were ready to give up. But not Fukaboshi. “We have to stop this somehow! We must save Fishman Island and the Noah’s purpose that has been protected for hundreds of years. We must save the kingdom at any cost!”

Honestly, if there was an election, my vote would go to Fukaboshi. Or Shirahoshi. They’re both brave, determined and will fight to the bitter end.

The Neptune flashback was interesting. He told his sons about Noah. Apparently, centuries ago, a promise was made to a great man. The Noah was kept on the seafloor until “the appointed day comes”. The ship has not yet served its purpose. Neptune didn’t even know who they managed to make that ship. But it cannot be damaged until that day comes.

First: who is they? Ancient Fishmen, I’m guessing. Second: the great man. I wonder if it’s Joy Boy who was referred to in the poneglyph Robin found? Third: a promise was made to this great man. The poneglyph Robin found was an apology, wasn’t it? Maybe the ship was made as reparation. Forth: the purpose of the ship. What is it? (I still think it’s mass transportation.)

At any rate, Noah is Superrrr Important to Fishmen. Neptune made his sons promise to spare Noah. Luffy, however, isn’t willing to take that risk.

Hordy goaded Luffy. “Were you fooling yourself, Strawhat, when you said you’d protect your crew?”

“I’ll do it!” Luffy yelled. “I’ll break that ship into pieces before it hits!”

Fukaboshi did not like this plan. No, he said. Noah has a long history. Luffy didn’t understand. How could they save the island? Decken, Fukaboshi said. If they woke him up, he could alter Noah’s course. But what if Decken was dead? There was no time! As if to emphasise this, Hordy swam in for an attack. Luffy tanked a bite from his razor sharp jaws. (I actually liked that Luffy’s hardening haki wasn’t strong enough to defend against it. That means there’s something to improve on in future and Luffy isn’t all-powerful just yet!)

Fukaboshi told Luffy to wait. Little did I know, he had hatched a pretty clever plan.

+1 Fukaboshi for Fishman President

When he said he would save Fishman Island and Noah at any cost, he really meant it. He was willing to sacrifice himself to hand Luffy the opportunity to defeat Hordy Jones.

He’d contacted the Air Tank control (I love that that exists) and arranged for them to shoot a massive air bubble at Noah. Of course, it wouldn’t stop Noah falling. It would merely slow it’s progress (ah, the old classic slow fall to earth to give the good guys time to fight back). The exciting downside? They only have one shot, as a bubble that big will take all the air they have in reserve.

While buying time, Fukaboshi engaged Hordy Jones directly. He also asked the questions I wanted to ask, which was nice.

“Hordy, mate, you are making no sense! First, you wanted vengeance against humans for Fishmen, now you’re trying to take those fellow Fishmen’s lives along with the island. You even abandoned the ones you grew up with in Fishman District. Or is your hatred for humans so deep it made you lose your mind? What happened to you?” he yelled. “What did humans do to you?”

Hordy’s mouth stretched in a slow, creepy smile. He said something underwater (all I heard was “blort, blort”) then he stabbed Fukaboshi and tossed him aside like an old glove. Luffy coudn’t take that lying down. He snapped Hordy’s steel fin and punched him in the face. (Nice.)

Of course, Hordy’s pride is like a soft, squidgy little bunny rabbit. Fragile and easily startled. To remedy this, he necked another fistful of Fish Roids. At this point, I’m wondering if the Roids will destroy him before anything else. Is he not dangerously close to overdosing?

The DDM Fukaboshi had given Luffy rang. Air Tank control was ready. Fukaboshi, struggling but alive, also called him. “About Hordy Jones,” he croaked. “I found out who he really is.”

My jaw dropped. I actually WTF’d out loud. Then I grinned because, honestly, that is an excellent cliffhanger. I also have no idea who Hordy Jones really is. Is he an ex-slave of St Myosgard? Is he a descendant of a past royal family who is raging about something? Did he read the poneglyph and despise Joyboy for some reason? Did Joyboy do something to his family?

I honestly don’t know where to begin here. You guys reading the manga at the time must have had a great time coming up with theories. :D

This guy should be in politics. His spin is so tremendous it could knock the Earth out of orbit. 

[cielrouge]

Killing Eve Event Recap at the Split Screens Festival 

I went to BBC America's Killing Eve event at the IFC Center earlier today, as part of their annual Split Screens Festival in its second year. The festival presented their annual Vanguard Award to Sandra Oh, given to an individual who's changed television. In its first year, the award previously went to David Chase, the showrunner of The Sopranos. After a screening of the first episode Nice Face, the moderator sat down with Sandra Oh for an extended conversation.

Sandra noted that episodes 1 -3 is where the show establishes its footing.

So it's not until episode 5 where you have this moment of narrative breakthrough with Eve and Villanelle.

Sandra admitted that her favorite episodes were 3, 5, and 8.

Jodie Comer didn't really get her bearings as Villanelle and her characterization until the 5th episode.

Killing Eve as a Cultural Phenomenon

Sandra admits that she doesn't read much in terms of critical reviews because it's too anxiety-inducing for her, but in terms of personal reactions, it's been marked by an obsessive quality. She noted that people have been excited about the show in a different way, like it's really 'delicious' and a 'little naughty.'

When the moderator asked if 'lighting has struck for Sandra in this particular way before,' she responded: "It's subtly different. You can't plan whether something becomes a hit or not ever. The way you fall in love once is the never the same as falling in love twice. But [the show] was lightning in a bottle after it aired."

Sandra admitted that she's learned a tremendous amount during her time as Cristina Yang on Grey's Anatomy, and feels wiser: while the state of television is very different from how it was just 10-15 years ago, Sandra felt that she's learned how to be an artist and not just a commodity. She feels that she knows herself well at this point, but it is part of the business where actors take a long time to figure out who they are and what works for them personally.

Sandra's Creative Process & Craft as a Television Actress

Sandra noted that she loves working in the metaphor and in terms of a lot her work, she lives in that space as a greater part of her creative process.

Within this space, using episode 5 as an example (when Villanelle takes a certain object), Sandra had to think what does this object mean to Eve, because: "when I pick this up, it has tremendous meaning to me" and once she figured this out, it "will mean something to you as the audience."

One of the things that Sandra did for Eve's character building was writing down her dreams in a dream journal-esque way. Sandra noted that she's worked with an acting teacher for a span of 13 years who's really helped changed her own creative process, but also participates in workshops with other actors as well.

Sandra noted that much of her creative process happens before actual shooting. Likewise, Sandra admits that she doesn't typically doesn't like watching post-production, since sometimes some of her favorite scenes can get cut. Therefore after she finishes shooting an episode, Sandra is okay with letting go of her work and having it out of her hands, in comparison to other actors who many want to extend a sense of control.

Sandra works very closely with the show writers and has had a lot of close conversations with Phoebe Waller-Bridge (writer & creator) when it comes to Eve's characterization.

Sandra admitted that shooting the 1st season was bananas, but this is typical for most shows, since you're still in the midst of the creation process. In comparison to film which is finite, television is an ongoing process that she finds more challenging - "it's this living, breathing thing.”

 "Which also tends to be true for most television scripts, since you essentially have no idea what comes next after it, and showrunners can start writing things to the strength of the characters as they develop."

Eve Polastri's Characterization

When Sandra first got the television script, she immediately understood Phoebe Waller-Bridge's voice and off the page, Sandra could tell it was a different tone to the show. Shoe noted that there was a definite, multidimensional quality to Eve and mostly 'I felt like I got [Eve's] wit. Her specific style of it. I kind of loved her messiness."

What struck out to Sandra was this is clearly a psychological cat-and-mouse game with these two women [Eve and Villanelle] and a show that specifically examines this kind of POV was fascinating to her.

"It's not like it's just a detective and a serial killer and it could be anyone, it has to be these two women, since the show is an examination of the female psyche and archetypes."

Sandra also noted: "For Eve you have the practical, she's hunting this person [Villanelle] down, but on the unconscious level, what is she really hunting down? What is she trying to kill? What is trying to kill her?"

When talking to Phoebe early on, Sandra asked if it was preferred to portray Eve with an English accent. Phoebe replied that she didn't have to. So, Sandra noted that "even though it's a BBC America show, a very English show with this very European feel, I think they [the network] still wanted to have a grounding American element to it, to kind of bring people over to it, and that was Eve."

In the pilot episode where Eve and Villanelle first met in the bathroom, you have the "wear it down" line that Villanelle says to Eve. Sandra noted that this was specific moment in the show where "something had to be done visually that we could carry on."

 Pretty much for most of this episode, you see Eve fiddling with her hair, since this is just something that women with long hair do. But Sandra actually lobbied for Eve's hair to be down in this scene, "kind of in its natural state, since it allows for its frazzled-ness that you don't have to play "- so it acted as a form of unconscious storytelling where 'things about to get wilder' and is a direct contrast when you see Villanelle with her wigs and hairpins earlier on.

Sandra also cited the use of Eve's handbag which became a part of her character, so "it's not just visually defining but becomes part of character's psyche in some way." Though, she's generally not the biggest fan of pronounced symbols and prefers more subtler use of metaphors where the audience gets to step in and put in their own projection.

The Use of Humor in Killing Eve

The moderator admitted that he was really struck by the show's use of humor: "the very first scene with Villanelle is funny, in a James Bond/Atomic Blond kind of way. And then there's Eve's introduction, which is just a laugh riot."

In terms of balancing humor with the other elements, Sandra noted that part of this was the difference in tone: where it's "not like jokes are told for humor's sake, but rather buried and so deeply grounded within the characters. When you put Carolyn and Eve together in a scene and there's running dialogue, you can get something really funny, but it's based within their characters. You never think that they're doing something funny for funny's sake. It's really the way that they speak, along with their body language."

"All the characters are funny in the way that people you know are funny. But the humor doesn't necessarily counteract with the intensity, since you're still getting character dimension."

Sandra stated that humor is "one of the most grounding human elements in how you relate to someone. How you get people to understand you. If they can recognize themselves in you, and a lot of times this is through doing something so human. It's not necessarily that it's funny on its own, but in the context of this character, it becomes familiar."

Sandra admitted that she loves doing work that has both elements of drama and comedy.

 Unfortunately there wasn’t time for an audience Q&A afterwards, but getting these types of insights are always super fun in my opinion. 

[please-dont-hurt-me]

I’m still late but here’s the ao3 link to the first chapter of To quote Daft Punk's song 'Touch'; "Touch, touch/ I remember touch/ Where do I belong?" which uses the prompt of touch to explore lonliness and my bitterness.

In summary: its about how Jodie banner gets adopted and forgives Bruce for being sent into space.

15 seems a little too young for a mid-life crisis. But what is considered your mid-life if you don't know when you’re going to die or start to truly live. That's really dramatic but you can get that Jodie wasn't doing so great emotionally.

Bounce. Catch.

Jodie sat on the bed in the guest room of her foster parent’s house, throwing a ball at the wall. She was told by her case worker that it’s just temporary and they’ll find her a family soon. That’s a load of baloney if she’s ever heard any.

Bounce, catch.  

She was 15 years old and had given up being adopted. The only dude who wanted a black teenage girl with depression and abandonment issues had almost, almost adopted her but either fucked off or died two years ago.

Bounce, catch.

Honestly, she thought he just abandoned her the first time he left but three years later she got a call from him. He told her why he had run the last time he was in Philly and tried to adopt her. Apparently, the paperwork was halfway done when he fucking left.

Bounce, catch.

A tear fell down her cheek. She dropped the ball and wiped it away. No, it’s over. She’s over it. She’d never see him again. There’s no use crying about it. It doesn’t matter that she loved, that he had been a perfect dad, or that he almost got her out of the system. He’s gone and dead.

Bounce. Catch.  

There was a knock at the door.

She shifted her body to be upside down. “Come in.”

The tall man who was her foster dad opened the door. Don’t know his name, don’t care. He’ll get rid of her soon.  “Jodie, the agency has some people at the office who might adopt you. Come on.”

Jodie sighed and let herself fall from the bed to the floor. This was going to be a waste of time. Another disappointment. “I’ll get my shoes on.”

And she does. Doesn’t bother with anything else. She follows the foster dad to his Prius and climbed into the passenger seat. He started the car.  

The car was filled with the tail end of one of the tabloid networks. “-nner and Thor were spotted in west Philly-” and then foster dad turned on NPR and they drove with false chatter and actual silence.

Jodie’s kind of thankful that this one is so dull.

He stopped at what used to be the orphanage. She got out and nodded.

She approached the old building that was probably made in the 60’s. She pushed open the door and smelled the sterile air that was in the ‘office’ these days. The bell chimed and yelled that she was here in the lull of keyboard clicking and printers humming.

She walked in to the lobby and up to the receptionist, Matt. “Mr. Miller said someone wanted to see me?”

Matt smiled at her. “Yeah, he’s actually holding them off with sticks because he needs to talk to you first.”

Jodie blinked. “What.”

Matt looked at her, then over his shoulder, then turned back to her to grin like a cat that caught the pigeon. “Kid just hurry up. This is going to be ridiculous. I’m filming the shit out of this.”

She moved past Matt. That was weird, and Jodie has a sneaking suspicion that things aren't going to make much sense after she talks to Miller.  

She was halfway there before Miller, the social worker who was usually known as level headed at best and stoic at worst, practically ran to her. Yeah, hypothesis confirmed. Shit was gonna get stranger. “Jodie, Jodie, Jodie. You’re really not going to believe what just happened.”

“Thanos returned to earth and wants a bedazzled hot dog.” Jodie said blandly. “Look, let’s not do gossip. You don't do a good delivery and I really don’t care. Show me the people and then let me leave.”

She tried to move past him, but he put a hand over her shoulder. “Jodie, have you been keeping up with the news? Like the stuff to with heroes?”

Jodie frowned, this was going to be one of those dumb hero couples who heard about her knowing Bruce and were going to be looking for the spotlight. They were one of her least favorite group of attempted-adopters. “Not really. Just enough to know when the next alien induced apocalypse is upon us.”

Miller sighed. God here comes the lecture.

“Well you know that the Asgardians landed a couple of weeks ago.” He said.

Jodie raised an eyebrow. “Why would they do that? Don’t they have a golden palace in a universe far, far away or something like that.”

Miller blinked at her before sighing. "I know that you have an aversion to hero's but Christ. So, the planet Asgard got exploded and they are here now as citizens of earth.”

Jodie blinked before shrugging. That’s fucking weird and she’s probably going to see xenophobic shit about Asgardians in the near future. That’s just peachy. “So what does all of that have to do with us, here in Philly. ”

“They brought back Bruce banner.”

Jodie was silent before whispering, “And?”

“He’s here. In my office with King Thor.” Miller said and pointed his thumb at said office. “Come with me?”

Surprise, surprise, Bruce not actually dead. But he’s not going to adopt her right? He’s going to say goodbye in some tragic fashion and run away again. Or get her hopes up and then disappear again.

“Fine, but no promises.” She says and presses past Miller. She pushes the door to his office open and is met with Bruce. Again.

Bruce banner didn’t look as sad and haggard as when she first met him five years ago. He didn’t look better, groomed, but stressed like she had seen him 2 years ago. He was ... happy looking.  

He was wearing what some would call business causal, he had longer hair with small braids, he was holding the hand of the man standing next to him (who Jodie is just going to assume is Thor), and he looked like he had gone through a reality show makeover.

He looked up from Thor’s (probably) hand when she had come through the door and smiled when he saw her. “Jodie.”

Just like that? He left her for two years and now he’s back calling her ‘Jodie’? Like none of that shit never happened? Like he left after promising not to? That he left like everyone else and he knew it? Why the hell is he back?

She’s angry. Of course, she was. She got her hopes up about getting out of the system and then everything falls to pieces and he’s gone. She knew about the hulk and all that bullshit, why did he leave? Why is he back?

She clenched her fist. “Why are you back.”

Bruce smiled at her. It was an expression that was a killer combination of happy, fond, parently (was that a word), honest, sad, and regretful. “I’m sorry I left, I really didn’t plan on getting shot into space and stranded on an alien planet.”

She looked at him and then at the chair. “The sentiment is appreciated. Didn’t answer my question though.”

“I wanted to see you again.”

Why did you come back? Why come back now? Why not wait another three years? You seem to have a pattern going there, I’d hate to break it.

She laughed bitterly, “I’ll believe that, but why not wait another year. I mean it fits the pattern.”

He made a sigh and looked at her with the same puppy dog eyes as when she was 10. “I really don’t want a pattern. I just want my daughter back.”

She was speechless for a second. He continued speaking

“I want to adopt you and I don’t want to leave you alone again. But whether or not that happens is entirely up to you” Bruce looks at her. The combination of long hair, beard, and care bear stare is killing her.

Time to deflect emotions.

Jodie turned to Thor. “Where do you fit into this?”

Thor smiled at her and Jodie realized that Thor was going to be indefinitely sappier and more emotional than Bruce. She realized her mistake as he opened his mouth.

“Bruce told me about you.” He squeezed his hand that was melded with Bruce’s. God that was sappy. “How much he loved you, how proud of you he was, and how much he missed you. Part of my culture’s courting ritual is that we spend time with our intended family in preparation for become a part of our own. I haven't been able to do this step completely because Bruce has little family to speak of. But if you wish to be adopted, you shall have that wish granted, and I’ll spend time with you for when you become my daughter as Bruce becomes my husband. You will not only have Bruce’s small family but mine as well.”

Jodie like she had been struck by lightning.

How often had she fantasized a family taking her away? How often was it Bruce taking her and caring for her. Never leaving. Hugging her and comforting her.

How often did she wish on stars that someone would looks at her with so much love and potential love in their eyes as the pair of heroes in front of her?

She was still angry but... she almost couldn't feel it over the shock.

Jodie gulped.  “I’ll think about it.”

Bruce smiles at her, “I know. Give us a call when have an answer. Or tell Miller.”

They say their goodbyes and then leave. Well, not before Thor gives her a cookie he made. He smiles as she tries to refuse. He tells her that, “If you do call us, tell me how it turned out. I figured out how to bake a couple days ago and Loki keeps telling me it’s awful, so I have no idea what it’s like.”

Jodie headed back to the Prius with foster dad. As he drove away from the office, she reflected on her life and how it might change. For better, or for worse.

[noblecrumpet-dorkvision]

D&D Story Time

So tonight my players continued their run through my dungeon that’s basically a kooky wizard’s lair. They’ve been going at it for a few sessions now but this one was pretty fun and tense.

One of the floors of the dungeon is all about crazy mirrors and every room had something to do with colors in it. There’s even just a straight-up Prismatic Wall before the boss of this floor. After getting through the wall, they ended up in a hexagonal room (the center room drawn above). It had a stone throne and a ring of colors on the floor surrounding it. On one side of the room was a pentagonal mirror with starry, galactic energy emanating from it. They noticed there was a fine film of dust covering an invisible, vaguely humanoid figure sitting in the throne. Naturally, the barbarian threw one of his trophy yuan-ti penises at its face (long story). The creature became visible briefly, revealing itself to be a Spellweaver, a six-armed spellcasting alien.

The player promptly wailed on it reducing it to nearly half HP in one round. It turned invisible with Greater Invisibility and started buffing itself a bit before casting Hold Person on the barbarian. The druid Dispelled that, and the bard cast True Sight, revealing that it was not in the room. The player investigated the mirror and found it was some sort of portal but did not enter it yet, as the bard eventually spotted it had either moved or teleported into the hallway, still invisible, now with a Fire Shield upon it. It cast Chain Lightning into the room, damaging everyone, but they all had half damage thanks to the paladin’s aura of protection to help them make their saves. The barbarian and monk charged and wailed on the Spellweaver, forcing it to break concentration on its invisibility from the sheer damage it took. It retaliated with a slew of cantrips, a Thunderwave, and Magic Missiles (it can cast up to 6 spells a turn). In the next round it was about to die to the barbarian’s next round of attacks. But before the final blow was struck, it tore open a portal and fled to its home dimension (a contingency it had in place in case of defeat).

With the Spellweaver gone, its silver blood coating the floor and throne, the players stepped through the mirror portal. This led to the most challenging puzzle ever, which I adapted from an adventure called the Demonskar Legacy. This is what is mainly pictured above, them trying to figure out the puzzle. I changed it from its original puzzle to fit my dungeon, but this is how it worked. Inside the mirror is a portal network that connects six total rooms, each one filled with a different color (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet). They also had a pentagonal silver plate, which seemed to relate to these rooms (the only pentagonal rooms in a floor that always had hexagonal ones before). After many forced attempts, insight checks, investigation checks, and even an Augury spell, one of them determined the silver plate to be a code. They used the ring of colors from the original room like a combination lock, using the plate’s symbols to determine the direction (clockwise/counterclockwise) and how many color spaces to move from the color room they were already in. Then they would go through the next colored portal using that pattern. It was very difficult and I’m proud of them for getting it in the end.

Next they ended up in a room with silver pillars with long radial spikes emanating from them. A hum filled the chamber. Small holes were in the floor at irregular intervals. The group got into their portable hole and were carried by the monk with a Fly spell on him to move among the ominous pillars. Suddenly, an Intellect Devourer leaped out of one of the holes and stepped deliberately on a pressure plate, cause lightning to fire from the pillars to shock and stun the monk. Several more Devourers leaped from the holes and climbed the pillars, leaping towards the midair stunned monk. One landed on him and won an INT contest, meaning that the monk’s brain was consumed and replaced by the Intellect Devourer’s brain-body. He was dead. The rest of the party leaped into action from the portable hole and started cleaning house with the CR 2 creatures (they are level 12-13). But another shock came from the pillars a few turns later, knocking out the bard and the monk (who was dead but being controlled by the Devourer). Another Devourer won against the bard and hopped inside her head. Another player dead. The paladin cast Protection from Evil twice to oust the possessing aberrations and kill them.

The druid was able to spend 8 hours preparing a Resurrection spell and they found a diamond among their loot, so they were able to bring back the bard. They knew the bard also has a Resurrection spell of her own, but they were out of material components. Thankfully, the paladin has Locate Object, so she divined that there is another worthy diamond on this floor of the dungeon, and it must be nearby as it has to be within 1000 feet for the spell to sense it! Now the party is heading through the dungeon to quickly find this diamond to save their monk friend. 

Thankfully the paladin was an NPC that joined them so the monk player is playing the paladin so they aren’t just doing nothing. But yea, never underestimate low-CR creatures in high numbers in a very convenient room.

The other thing the party needs to worry about is they headed to this tower under suspicion of a Wish spell somewhere within so they can kill a Tarrasque that’s been slowly regenerating all campaign. This was supposed to be a quick in-and-out but the dungeon is far more difficult than they imagined, and now the Tarrasque has been fully alive for at least two days. They still have a lot of work ahead of them! I might livestream the final days of this campaign when it comes but I gotta find out how to do that in my kitchen :P

[sevenpabosandabunchoffans]

Criminal Minds {Jung Hoseok}

After Namjoon realizes he doesn’t exactly like working as a detective at the local police department, he leaves, determined to finish a case by himself. After months of nothing, a new development comes to light, motivating him to enlist the help of someone else. The two of them build a team from the ground up that’s independent from any government or police force, solving cases purely for the benefit of helping others and doing what’s right. One day, a newcomer enters their lives, begging them to let him join, too.

:: characters: namjoon, yoongi, hoseok

:: genre: angst, thriller, Criminal Minds!au

:: warnings: graphic descriptions, blood

:: word count: 1600

Min Yoongi

With the decision to work together, Namjoon and Yoongi immediately searched for a building to house their business. They managed to find an old assessment center, complete with a lobby and reception desk, two meeting rooms, and a handful of offices, for a fairly cheap price, quickly deciding to make that their home. They spent the next month furnishing the area, wanting to be able to get to work as quickly as possible. They had been putting the finishing touches to their individual offices when they were finally contacted with a case.

Yoongi was arranging his desk when Namjoon entered the office. “We got a case.”

The older male looked up, somewhat surprised. “Really?”

Namjoon nodded, holding up some papers that had been faxed over. “We’re going to Gwangju.”

They agreed for Yoongi to drive the three hours while Namjoon briefed him on the case. “A family was murdered on their farm about 45 minutes outside of Gwangju.” Namjoon flipped through the papers to find the victims. “42-year-old Kim Jihoon, his 38-year-old wife, Min Jihye, their 20-year-old daughter, Kim Jieun, Jieun’s 2-year-old son, Minjoon, and a family friend who was visiting, Jung Hyunjung.”

“Do they know the cause of death?” Yoongi inquired.

Namjoon nodded, pulling out the picture of found murder weapon. “Blunt force trauma to the head. They found a bloody hammer in the kitchen. The blood matched the victims, sadly there were no prints.”

Yoongi sighed. “Why can’t there ever be a case where we automatically know who the bad guy is?”

Namjoon looked at his partner and chuckled. “What would be the fun in that?”

After meeting with the detective in charge of the case, they made their way to the farm. “So, you said nothing had been stolen?” Yoongi clarified, looking around the first of the crime scenes, the married couple’s bedroom.

Detective Chae Hyungwon nodded. “We found money hidden all over the place, and it doesn’t seem that any jewelry or other valuables were taken.”

Namjoon looked at the blood stain on the bed. “Judging from that, and the fact that they were struck on the front of the head rather than the back, this was a personal kill.” Namjoon made eye contact with Yoongi and immediately knew that they were thinking the same thing. “They knew their killer.” He turned to Hyungwon as Yoongi left the room. “We’re gonna need a list of everyone that had any connections to the family.”

Hyungwon nodded. “I’ll have some of my people get right on that.”

“Joon~” Namjoon followed Yoongi’s voice, finding him in Jieun’s bedroom. Yoongi turned around holding up a laptop that someone had very obviously tried to get into from the “this device has been locked for the next 24 hours” message and countdown on the screen. “What would they have been trying to find?”

“I guess we’ll find out.”

After Hyungwon requested the officer with the most computer skills to meet them at the farm, they huddled around the kitchen table as Jung Yunho managed to bypass the lockdown and password screen of the laptop. “What exactly are we looking for?” Yunho asked, clicking on a few files.

“Anything that could be of interest to our killer.” Yoongi answered. After a few minutes of searching, the screen began to glitch. Yunho lifted his hands up, waiting for the device to calm down, only to see the mouse seemingly moving by itself and random files being pulled up at lightning speed. “What the fuck is going on?”

“Someone’s hacking it.” Yunho replied, placing his hands back on the keyboard and tapping at the keyboard.

“Can you find who it is?” Namjoon asked, watching as a “files downloading” bar appeared on the screen.

“Already on it.” Yunho muttered, pulling up a code system to try to trace the hacker. As quickly as the files had appeared on screen, they disappeared, seemingly leaving no trace that anyone had been in the system. Just as the duo were about to sigh in defeat, Yunho turned to them and said, “I got them.”

The door opened to reveal a middle-aged woman. “Hi, ma’am,” Namjoon greeted as he and Yoongi held up their badges. “Is your son home?”

The woman, very obviously confused, pointed behind her into the house. “He’s downstairs in his room, but what do you need with my Hoseokie?”

“We just need to ask him a few questions, ma’am.” Yoongi replied, smiling at her as she let them into the house. She pointed them towards the staircase leading to the basement, where Hoseok had moved into when he’d graduated college and moved back in with his parents. As they descended into the room, they could hear Coldplay blasting through some speakers, eventually seeing a guy around their age surrounded by a few computer screens. The bottom stair creaked under Namjoon’s weight, alerting Hoseok to their presence. He spun around and, as soon as his gaze landed on them, his eyes widened as he jumped out of his chair, looking ready to flee the country. “Hey, why do you look like you’re about to run?” Yoongi asked, hand ready to pull out his gun should it resort to that.

“What would you do if two random men entered your room?”

Namjoon held his hands out to show that they weren’t going to hurt him. “We just need you to come with us, so we can ask you a few questions.” Hoseok visibly swallowed before nodding in agreement.

“I honestly have no idea why I’m here.” Hoseok said for the dozenth time as Yoongi stared him down from across the table in the interrogation room.

“Let me show you.” Yoongi finally spoke up, opening the file and laying a few pictures of the victims in front of him.

Hoseok’s eyes widened and his skin lost its color at the gruesome images. “A-are these those people from the news this morning?”

Yoongi nodded and lay a few more pictures on the table, this time of evidence, finally placing a picture of Jieun’s laptop directly in front of Hoseok. “And you know what this is?” Hoseok shook his head no, looking at Yoongi in confusion. “This is the computer of Kim Jieun, one of the victims. And funny story, we were looking at the laptop, trying to see if we could find anything that could point towards the person we’re looking for when someone seemingly hacked into the device and downloaded nearly everything.” Hoseok gulped, trying to avoid eye contact with Yoongi. “And you know who that hacker was?”

“I swear I had no idea it was related to this!” Hoseok confessed, slightly surprising Yoongi at how quickly he gave in. “Some guy e-mailed me this morning, saying that his computer had crashed, and he needed to recover his files, and that he would pay me a million won to do it for him.”

“Is this something you do often?”

Hoseok shrugged. “Usually I just retrieve test answers and stuff for high school kids, sometimes changing their grades in the system. Occasionally I get stuff like this, though, but never for this kind of pay out, which is why I accepted so quickly.”

“Can you tell us who paid you to hack into the system?”

“He didn’t tell me his name.” Hoseok rested his elbows on the table in front of him. “He just gave me the network info, so I could get into the computer, then a deposit was made into my account after I sent him the files.”

“Did you happen to look at the files?” Hoseok shook his head again. “Would you be able to do us a favor then?”

A few minutes later, they were back in Hoseok’s room and he was logging into his online bank account. “What do I need to do?”

Namjoon pointed to the most recent transaction, a deposit of one million won. “Can you trace the source of this deposit?”

Hoseok scoffed. “And here I thought you were going to ask me something difficult.” He pulled up a window on a different computer screen and typed at lightning speed for a few minutes until an account number appeared. “Do you want me to find who this account belongs to?”

“You can do that?” Namjoon sounded somewhat impressed as Hoseok began typing again. A name and some information popped up. “Park Hyunwoo.” Namjoon read off. “I’ll call Hyungwon and tell him to go look for this guy.”

As Namjoon walked away to make the call, Yoongi clasped his hand on Hoseok’s shoulder. “You really enjoy doing this, don’t you?” Hoseok shrugged with a light nod. “Would you like to have a job that involves this? You would get less pay, but it would be legal, and extinguish any chances of you getting arrested.”

Hoseok bit his lip, contemplating the offer. “Let me get back to you on that.”

Eventually, Park Hyunwoo was taken into custody, confessing to the murders, “I was convinced she was cheating on me, so I tried to get into her laptop to find proof. She caught me, and I freaked out. I didn’t mean to hurt her or her family.” Yoongi and Namjoon went back to Seoul and finished setting up their offices.

About a week after the case was closed, they were enjoying some beers together back in Namjoon’s office when the bell they’d placed on the receptionist desk out front dinged. They went to see who would be coming this late at night, shock washing over them as they saw Hoseok standing at the desk. “Is that job offer still up for grabs?”

Jeon Jungkook

[sanoiro]

Lucifer 3x19 Meta - Deal or No Deal.

In 3x19 Maze asked Lucifer to get her to Hell which was made sense to a degree. Now as you remember Lucifer is all about Deals and so was the Sinnerman. If you are following my meta you might already know my conviction that the Sinnerman thing is not over, not by a long shot. 

First a quick flashback. Sinnerman was granting nefarious favours with high stakes and high paybacks. If you were asked to pay back you did it otherwise it was your life on the line. I remind you the following lines from the first arc of S3.  3x01 - They're Back, Aren't They?

Sam: He's, he's, he's a scary dude. Huge crime boss. I owed him big time. But because I didn't finish the job, I'm as good as dead now. That's why I was running. Lucifer: And where do I find this Sinnerman? Sam: You don't. He finds you.

3x02 - The One With the Baby Carrot Marcus: You're not the Sinnerman. He's smart and calculated. Lucifer: He was telling the truth. I mean, maybe the Sinnerman manipulated Alonso without him realizing it. (On Sam’s murder by Alonso)

3x09 - The Sinnerman

Marcus: The thing is, this does not seem like the Sinnerman. He kills for power and influence. Taunting a nightclub owner seems petty, small. Ella: I did some more digging and found a perfect match with a blood spatter sample from an old Sinnerman case in Chicago Sinnerman: I like redheads, strawberries, and long walks on the beach. Lucifer: Why?! Why are you doing this? Sinnerman: You'll see. Marcus: The Sinnerman killed my brother. I thought I could run away from the pain of it. From him. 3x10 - The Sin Bin Marcus: The Sinnerman desires freedom. He wants to escape. I'm here to make sure he doesn't. Maggie - the fake abductee:  All I wanted was to be my team's lead jammer. But I could never compete with that spotlight-stealing bitch, Faith Kill. So I went to this guy who grants people favors. ChloeL We need a name. Maggie - the fake abductee: He just goes by the Sinnerman. I asked him to get rid of Faith, and the next thing I know, she's in a car accident.  Lucifer: Well, come on!  I'm to your left.Your other left I'm right here! Hello?! Marco! I (sighs) Well, there's no glory in wrestling a starving bear. Sinnerman: How about drown me with a flood? Or strike me with lightning? What cheesy metaphor would you prefer? Apple, tree? A chip off the old block? Like Father, - like Son? - Enough! (grunts) Pull the string, puppet master. Lucifer: I wondered why you, the evil genius, hadn't sprung a more clever trap. Sinnerman: It has to be you. Lucifer: Because I was the trap. You never wanted freedom. Your true desire was to die. And for some reason, you need me to do it. Sinnerman: Yes. Yes. You supposedly believe in free will. Then honor mine. Lucifer:  Why do you need me to do it? Sinnerman: Free will.

Most probably skipped all the above and came right in the comments something that I don't agree with but that’s okay. From what we see above is that A) There are some powers involved which we have not seen yet in the show since the first arc of the season.  B) Sinnerman desired freedom but perhaps what he wanted to hide from Lucifer was not his guilt but his innocence. Sometimes I wonder if Sinnerman was Cain’s son as it would have made some sense on to why Cain would compromise his cover for a child. On the other hand, Sinnerman appears to lack free will and like Lucifer to abhor Dad as well as well as the idea of manipulation. So I wonder... was it Sinnerman who killed everyone or did Sinnerman tried to clear up Marcus’ network in Chicago and L.A? Every card is still hidden but on the table and about to be turned. 

Additionally, Sinnerman want’s to escape but not from jail perhaps... From the manipulation and the control that perhaps Marcus has over him?  C) Ella is from Detroit and Sinnerman along with Marcus were in Chicago. Does that mean anything?  D) Sinnerman had said that he liked redheads, strawberries, and long walks on the beach... Cain in the comics, as well as his wife, were redheads. Marcus’ and Chloe’s first date was at the beach... Sam was found dead under the pier...  E) Marcus talks about Sinnermans gift to manipulate others but as far as we have seen it’s Marcus who manipulates others in this story. In Amenadiel’s case, he even crosses the line and put innocent lives in danger.  F) Sinnerman in the first act acts a bit like Uriel in S2. When Sinnerman says to Lucifer that he will see what he was doing all that it was a bit like “the piece is here” moment early in S2.  G) Maggie who had herself abducted in The Sin Bin was the reason for Faith to be killed. In a conversation I had in my DM (if you want to step up front do it love in the comments or reblog with your username ;)) a friend here believed that Chloe symbolised faith due to Amenadiel’s comment in 3x17 - Let The Pinhead Sing! about even the Devil having faith which referred directly to Chloe being Lucifer’s last thread of Faith. So will Marcus kill another kind of faith? No matter what we speculate only time will tell. Also, her name was actually Faith Kill... Wow.... Just wow... 

Perhaps you cannot see why I titled this Deal or no Deal and that's because now begins the part where I explain things.  Lucifer always granted favours, deals if you like and then Sinnerman did in a very ugly way. Moving on from Sinnerman and into the second arc of the season, Marcus already has struck two deals... One is with Chloe if you like where he tells her he can offer her a man with no walls. 

We, of course, know it’s a front for manipulation and control but Chloe in a sense does get what she asked for. Unfortunately, the payback will be priced very high and we will have to wait and see if she will pay up or suffer the consequences. This is a common way to say how taking a chance with no strings ends up being a bloody deal... Or be careful what you wish for, 

Second, comes the deal he offers to Maze in 3x19. Like stay and I’ll make sure to give you what you want. Especially now that you don’t have anyone by your side poor Maze... At the end of that episode, the song  Start a War by Klergy is features and the last heard lyric is Ah, ah, ah-ah, so you want to start a war. after Marcus tells Maze that: Because I can help us both get what we want.

The things become a bit more complicated in the next episodes as Charlotte may or may not approach Marcus, presumably for a favour? Their interactions reach up to episode 3x23 and it doesn’t end well for Charlotte as far as I can tell... It is perhaps when Marcus true colours are revealed. When a connection is done by no other but by the prosecutor of the precinct. By the one person who can tell when you are lying... Lucifer has an innocence which makes him miss lies sometimes but not Charlotte. 

Consequently, as you can see we have two dealmakers in S3. In my opinion Lucifer and Marcus. As they say, favours can take you a long way the question though is where in this case. So the question we have to make at this point of the season is deal or no deal? 

[riveires]

wildfire

@twentysixdegrees

JOONHO

Midday in July, sunlight full and sweet, melting golden. It’s uncharacteristically poetic, more so yet when such a line is being waxed by none other but Son Joonho. Must be all that love in the air, with the newly weds having tied the knot—that, or it’s the dazed heat that’s making his thoughts slip clumsy.  He’s reliable in that department: too little to say, too much to think. He looks down at his flute, now drained of champagne and comes to the final conclusion that this, this is must be the root cause but it doesn’t matter. He needs another glass.

Pulling away from the small crowd that had began to gather around the table, Joonho turns to wave a server over, but before he can so much as pivot on his heels, eye meets unsuspecting eye and he’s struck. Stunned. Bolt of lightning without the thunder.

Standing at a distance no more than a couple of feet away is a face he once knew. Knows still, too well. Memory lines up almost perfectly to the present; his face is more angular here, no doubt sharpened with age, but then Joonho gaze roves over to the slant of his nose, jaw, curve of his mouth, and his breath is caught in his throat. Sugar dissolves from his tongue. Something stings. Aches.

“...Joohyuk?”

JOOHYUK

Jamie has been really great. She's picked up on his hesitation whenever people ask if they're next, and she plays it off like a champ. They work together, she's beautiful, and they get along well so it just made sense to ask her to be his plus one. There's no love there, just a lot of respect and admiration. In fact, he respects and admires her so much, that he offers to go grab them each another drink. Joohyuk is thanking god for the open bar when his internal prayer gets interrupted by the call of his own name.

"Joonho," he responds instinctively, blinking three times more than necessary when he turns to look in the direction of his former...roommate? best friend? flame? "You weren't, I didn't--uh," Joohyuk is panicking; it feels like he's back in college. "I didn't know you were coming to Lara and Jiya's wedding." It feels like New Year's again--that one night that changed everything but didn't seem to change enough.

He looks as Joohyuk would have imagined. The years between then and now have polished him; he's clean lines but gentle eyes, yet his posture betrays him. They're both tense. Where do they even stand?

"Do you want to walk with me? To somewhere a little quieter?" Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why would he want anything to do with you anymore?

JOONHO

There’s something inherently wrong with this picture: two men with their feet forward, and the prospects of downing 70-proof concoctions by the bottle. The joke very nearly writes itself, but neither are laughing. Joohyuk stills as if he’s only a step away from making a mad dash for cover, and Joonho is too tongue-tied to be aware of anything else but the intense regret that washes through in overflow.

“I didn’t know you were here.” Here, in this little slice of New England that he’d made meticulous efforts to avoid any and almost all chances to return. A handful of hours from there, north of where back then marks a decade in its passage. Stagnancy and permanence, both ways that had been so undeniably his own that anything else was impossible. But the impossible had happened: the day after graduation, he’d hit the ground running, and for the next ten years, he’d never turned to look back.

Now, Joonho can’t even think to take his eyes off him, frozen in his shell-shocked state. Joohyuk’s lips spell out a stream of questions, ones that he carefully, dazedly answers.

“Yeah.” Again then, a little softer. He puts his hands in his pockets, steals a glance at the ground before his gaze returns. “Yeah, that’d be...good.” Joonho clears his throat. “Where...do you wanna go?”

JOOHYUK

The more appropriate way to go about this conversation would be if he'd been the one to say: 'I didn't know you were here.' Briefly, he's at a loss as to what he should say in response. Joonho had effectively taken his line and thrown it right back at him and-- "Lara and I kept in touch after graduation." The hidden implication sits uncomfortably in between them right after the sentence leaves his mouth.

Unlike Joonho, he'd stayed in the area, finding half-fulfillment in a well-paying, stable job with one of his former soccer teammates. Kyle had almost fully replaced Joonho in the 'best friend' department but there was always something a little lacking. They'd climbed up the corporate ladder with their prestigious university's mantle hanging above them with every promotion, networking like crazy--until Kyle moved halfway across the country and Joohyuk climbed up even further. Without him. Without Joonho.

That second loss wasn't nearly as devastating.

The reminder makes him stutter in his steps, and he feels a lot less in control. "There's the uh, the hedge maze or something right outside the...venue." He looks around for his date, for another classmate, anyone that can help ease the tension or take him out of the situation completely but it's like he can't place faces to names anymore. It's just Joonho. "We can just...walk around it or inside, it doesn't matter to me."

Ungracefully, he downs the rest of what's in his champagne glass, and waits for Joonho to walk his way. He's extremely conscious of their pace, how far they're walking apart, and in a fit of nervousness, he remarks, "Either way we're going to get lost. I'm still bad with directions even after living in New York for the past few years." Give a little, take a little.  "Where...have you been?"

JOONHO

With every answer, there's the unspoken question of his lack thereof. Couldn't, didn't keep in contact, his number always beneath his hovering hands but never pressed, leaving behind footprints everywhere and anywhere except where a certain someone might be. Between the two of them, Joohyuk may have been the athlete, but Joonho had the unfortunate skill ability to run at the first spur of reflexes—the heart wants what the heart wants, but he's already sprinted. Made a distance marked by miles. Years. Memories already fading into sepia tones.

So then what's stopping him from turning the other way?

"Oh. That's great." His steps match up to Joohyuk's strides. They fall faint, hushed against the padding of the trimmed grass as they walk. Instinctively, he moves on a couple inches ahead, in case they do get lost. That strikes him belatedly, with a pang. Old habits die hard.

“I’ve…” Joonho hesitates. “I’ve been around.” He can’t lie through his teeth, if that’s anything to find relief in. “Where I work they like to keep me constantly on my toes. Checking up on sites and such.” A dry laugh follows.

When they reach the maze, he moves on further ahead—through the entrance, to a bench situated somewhere in the clearing. He could easily suggest they go deeper into the coiled space, but then wonders if that would imply anything more than what is already lodged between them. He’s knotted with discomfort, or is it want? Or are those terms interchangeable? Want, the pang of not having anything at all. It brings the same spell of nausea all the same. He should’ve known to slip himself another glass before diving in head-first.

“I should’ve known you were there. New York. It’s...” He pauses, struggling to find the right words. “You’d fit right in without question.” And there’s that laugh again. Not knowing, unknowingly so. “Much better than I could, anyway.”

JOOHYUK

It strikes him suddenly, that he's always looking at Joonho's back. Back in college, Joonho had hard-carried him through a few semesters when he couldn't figure his shit out, and Joohyuk had...provided comic relief? An outlet for those nights where Joonho needed to get out and drink until he forgot his own name?

But look at him now - cushy job in one of those fields that makes people nod, impressed. Full of crisp suits and white men - Joohyuk's where he is today because he's a great bullshitter. Half the battle is the confidence, and the other fourth is connections. And that last bit? Well, that part is actually is hard work, and he'd learned that from --

"Joonho, you coulda made it in New York if you really wanted to." He grins, and he feels like a college freshman again. "You're the smartest and most hard-working person I know - you'd do my job ten times better than me in half the time."

But the  feeling at Joonho's compliment fills him with giddiness - a little amplified by the open bar (former blessing turned current yikes), and he puts his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. And then, he takes a seat onto the stone bench, perched just a bit on the edge, looking up at Joonho.

Something about this position takes him back to some day in late December, and his chest tightens. Maybe this was a bad idea after all.

"It's been a bit lonely without ya." And he never should have sat down. Joonho has the higher ground; Joohyuk has always been the one who felt too much, too quickly, too intensely. He's a bit of an all or nothing guy. "I did miss you, if we're being honest here."

Well, fuck.

JOONHO

There's a sting of disappointment that has him almost flinch despite himself. It's a compliment that means well—of course, it's Joonhyuk, for Christ's sake, he always does in twofold, three, heart stitched flame red on his sleeve—but the sinking feeling snakes in, anyway. Is that all there is to say? But he's the last person on this planet to have the right to such expectations, to yearn as so.

"Uh," Joonho tries on a polite smile. "Wouldn't be my kind of people there..." He doesn't dwell on the stagnancy of his own job—a passion project for sure, but Joonho's not blind to what that speaks volumes to  an outsider. A dismissive wave. The sentiment that follows this time is genuine. "I'll let you handle the big city for me."

Like he's let him done back then. The one constant he's known, forever steadfast in his presence, his warmth.

In the beat of silence that falls, Joonho wonders if it's too late to turn things around. To let the confessions he's left buried to fall free from his mouth. That there was never really anyone else after him.  That his absence has become a part of his very being, like a tangible limb, a faithful shadow. That there are days where the empty air of his room is filled whole with it, a kind of lonely that is intimate with the pain it brings.

But then Joohyuk speaks, and he's stunned speechless.

The shock on his face is vivid. Common sense lags too far behind to have the decency to at least be embarrassed, thoughts lapsing into white noise.

"You-" It's on the top of his tongue. You don't even know. He takes a shaky breath, his mind catches up at last. Composure. Not yet.

"I actually thought about calling you before," Joonho shifts, one foot to the other. "Maybe once. Couple of times. But-" Excuses by the dime, but he's not in the proper state of mind to pick the right one. Another breath, and it lets out in a defeated sigh. "I don't know." I don't know if you'd want me back.

JOOHYUK 

"Me." he teases back, interjecting himself in between the breath it takes for Joonho to continue with his sentence - because Joohyuk is the one that's afraid of being forgotten. "You should have called. I would have liked that." But then he remembers himself in college, and the way they'd left off, the way he'd acted towards the end. It's a two-way street, and he's played just as big a part in this mess they're in right now (if not more). "I could have called too. Should have."

But now they're adults, and their friends are getting married, settling down. Joohyuk's biological clock isn't bothering him and he isn't desperate to find someone to get all domestic with, but there are regrets that have been left gaping still. Tonight might be the best and only night to disinfect and band-aid the damn thing so he decides not to hold back. "You're still a bit of an old man, aren't you? The city and its people aren't so bad. You just need to find your niche."

Joonho looks antsy, and Joohyuk wonders if he should try and wrap this up. He's always been the one to push Joonho from his comfort zone but he doesn't want to actually make him uncomfortable. This situation is awkward enough as is. "You say your people aren't there, but..." The incessant need to be noticed and acknowledged, and the uglier parts of himself that manifest out of those traits - well, he's working on them. Therapy has been great for that. "I'm there." So, that was a bit selfish, a bit self-indulgent, but two steps forward and one step back still nets positive, right?

"And wasn't I your person at one point?" Joohyuk looks up at the man that had given him so many firsts. The one who he truly felt attached at the soul with. "You were mine." Bonds like that don't just fade, not when it's them. "The position's still open if you're interested."

No holding back.

[razieltwelve]

Necessity (Legend of Korra AU Snippet)

Korra glared at Azula with all the power she could muster. It had absolutely no effect.

“How pathetic,” Azula drawled. “Even your predecessor could glare better than you and he was a vegetarian who tried his hardest to be a pacifist until reality convinced him that sometimes you have to break a few eggs if you want to make a decent omelette.”

“You’re a terrible person, you know that right?” Korra grumbled. The teenager was half-buried under a pile of books and pieces of paper. “I’m the Avatar. I can understand the torture you call training, but do I really need to know how modern banking, taxation, and economics work?”

Azula poked Korra in the side with the cane she used whenever she had to fake being a helpless, old woman for a mission. “Money, Korra, makes the world go round. You might the Avatar, but you are only one person. Do you know why the Fire Nation did so well against the combined might of the Earth Kingdom, the Water Tribes, and the Air Nomads?”

“Because you guys were really good at setting stuff on fire?” 

“Apart from that, Korra.”

“Uh…” Korra had learned the hard way that the look on Azula’s face right now meant that she had better give a decent answer or her afternoon training session was likely going to involve the wonders of lightning and what it did when it struck Avatars who were too slow to dodge or bend it away. “Industrial capacity?”

“Hmm…” Azula gave Korra a thoughtful look. “That’s actually not a terrible answer. Yes. In simple terms, the advanced technology and greater industrial capacity of the Fire Nation gave us a sizeable advantage. However, it was our economic strength that truly allowed us to crush our enemies.”

“I see…” Korra did her best to imitate the expression Tenzin had whenever he said anything particularly wise. Alas, her lack of a beard to stroke really ruined the effect.

“It’s obvious that you don’t.” Azula sat down opposite Korra. “Logistics is the key to war, Korra. Armies need food, equipment, shelter, and other supplies. Whoever can provide those things the most efficiently across the largest possible area will be victorious. The Fire Nation was the first modern economy, and it was built on the industrialisation of production. Machines, primitive automation, mass production - all of these allowed us to outproduce and out supply our opponents. Moreover, our stronger economy allowed us to either buy out or pressure independent factions, forcing them to join us or removing them from the field of battle.”

“You make it sound like the Fire Nation should have won.”

“In all honesty, we would have if my father hadn’t been an idiot and if I hadn’t been insane.” Azula chuckled grimly. “The Earth Kingdom was on its last legs, ruled by a well-meaning but utterly incompetent man. The Water Tribes were essentially non-entities in terms of military strength outside of the polar regions. The Air Nomads, well, you know what happened there. Your predecessor and his allies rightfully identified that removing the Fire Nation’s leadership was the best chance they had for victory, and my father obliged by picking a fight with Avatar Aang while I…” Azula’s lips twitched. “I was in such a poor state of mind that I actually lost a fight to my brother. Honestly, if I’d been in my right mind, I would have beaten him easily. Oh, well, I can’t really blame him. Had the roles been reversed, then I’d have done the same. Attacking an opponent who is too mentally unstable to fight properly is the intelligent thing to do.”

Korra winced. Azula could occasionally be quite candid about her past, and it was not a nice past. “And this relates to my current assignment…?”

“You are the Avatar,” Azula said. “When you reach the height of your power, I doubt there will be a single person who will be able to best you in battle. I will make sure of that. But the world is a big place. Can you be everywhere at once? Can you fight everyone’s battles for them? You may not see it now, but the world stands on the precipice of change. Machinery continues to improve, the divisions between benders and non-benders grow, and discontent is rising.”

“People keep telling me that,” Korra murmured. “But I hardly ever get to leave this place.”

“I will see what I can do about that,” Azula replied. “A naive Avatar will likely end up a dead Avatar.” She grinned. “Believe, I know. But back to the matter at hand. The truth, Korra, is that most people are not interested in high minded ideals, honour, or anything like that. What they want is simple: a roof over their head, money in their pockets, and nice things for their family. Can you, as the Avatar, give that to them?”

“Not to all of them,” Korra replied. “Maybe some, but not all.”

“Yes. You’re powerful… not omnipotent.” Azula nodded at the books. “But as the Avatar you will be incredibly influential on the rulers of the various nations. Economic policy will be key to establishing long-lasting piece. If people are content, well fed, and wealthy, they will not go to war, nor will they look upon their neighbours with envy and discontent. As the Avatar, you will be called upon to settle conflicts. You need to understand which side you should be on and what recommendations you should make.”

Korra nodded slowly. Years ago, she’d believed being the Avatar would be simple. The more she learned, the more she realised there was always more to learn. “That can’t be your only motive, can it?”

“The White Lotus are not your friends,” Azula said. “They are using you. In a way, everyone wants to use you. After all, you are the most powerful piece on the board. Keeping you isolated here removes your ability to form political alliances and amass monetary wealth. Once you take up your duties, though, you will be travelling a great deal. If you are wise, you will make political alliances, and you will spot investment opportunities.”

“You’re teaching me how to make those investments…” Korra paused as a thought occurred to her. She reached for a book and began to flip through it. “And you’re teaching me how to hide any money I make!”

Azula smiled. “Very good. If people know where your money is, they can take it or cut you off from it. The White Lotus has eyes and ears everywhere. But if you have money they don’t know about, they won’t be able to plan against it, and they’ll be caught off guard once you use it. Feign weakness until you have built up your strength.”

“To buy an army?”

“If you need to.” Azula shrugged. “But there are many other reasons why you might want to have money at your disposal. Bribes are essential throughout much of the world. Some coin here and there can preserve the peace temporarily while you look for a permanent solution. And promising individuals can be helped to reach their potentials if you have sufficient funds. Money, Korra, matters, and it is simply another form of power. You need to learn how to use it.”

“How much money do you have?” Korra asked.

Azula told her.

“…” Korra’s eye twitched. “Are you serious?”

“I have made many fine investments in my life, some legal and some… less so. Over time, those investments have paid off handsomely, and I have diversified my portfolio to ensure my fortunes are protected from downturns in any single area. How do you think I fund my spy network and my other endeavours? People don’t work for free, and threats will only get you so far.”

“You could buy better instant noodles then,” Korra countered. “You always get the cheap stuff!”

“If I started spoiling you with premium instant noodles, you’d get soft.” Azula smirked. “And what makes you think I’m not keeping the premium instant noodles for myself?”

“You wouldn’t…” Korra trailed off as she realised that, yes, Azula totally would keep premium instant noodles. “You have!”

“Of course.” Azula smiled sunnily. It was terrifying. “And now that you know about them, I can use them as a reward.”

“You might be the most evil person I know,” Korra said seriously.

“Oh, Korra, you have no idea.”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Korra’s naivety when it came to matters of economics in the show was mind-boggling. She might be the most powerful person in the world, but her naivety in certain critical areas left her woefully underprepared. Indeed, it’s difficult to believe it wasn’t intentional since keeping her naive would make it very easy for the White Lotus to ‘advise’ her in a manner that allowed them to use her power for their own ends.

You can find me on fanfiction.net, AO3, and Amazon.

[suytt]

Mid-may Long Post: The Written Down.

Please follow the instruction while you’re reading this, because if you care enough to see what this post is about or to see how I am trying (my best) to acting like i’m alive on such social network/ keeping up with writing my blog (Thank you!)

1. I will mention things that will annoy you like the way they did with a bunch of people whom I used to talk to everyday. They won’t hunt you like the way they did to me, but they would somehow create me a bad reputation by being so naked and sexual. 

2.You won’t find me aesthetics, you won’t find me art. But you will stop reading at some point, thus I won’t stop writing at any point, 

3. Don’t give up on me, or this page if you have followed me up for awhile. Because I have recorded how my life is going so far, how it bloomed and slowly   became dead and I want to make sure you see me bloom again.

4. Notice every adjective i used, most of them are hidden and most of them are playing with the mind of the writer: me. Ignore all the verb, most of them are not actions. 

5. Don’t be so quite. Speak up

--------------------------------

High School 

I wouldn’t say i was a popular kid. yes I know, this sounds like the beginning of every depression related movie, like The Perk of Being Wallflowers, like 13 Reasons Why (a hell show) and maybe like any tragic-comedy teenager series you have ever watched. But I was, a popular kid i would say. There were up and down and there was me, being 17, sexually confused, being a mean ass bitch and gossip about people a lot thus I always denied doing it. If you used to live up with Western culture, you would know that I’m describing that so so girl in the cheerleader team. I had my voice but not the wing to fly up. I had my time, my friends, 3-4 other girls who was outstanding with their looks comparing to others back in our days, a smart good-looking plus love guru gay best friend whom people could be never be jealous enough to have. Not to be dramatic or exaggerate it, we were the best of our kind. I was the best of me,always had been confident and proud of living up that kind of life. Even though we all had a thought of our dysmorphia disorder, like constantly being scared of what people might see under our shirt, how imperfect it was/always is, how we kept reminding ourselves not to feel pretty under our own skin. We’ve been through that, we’ve all been through that and maybe suffered the insecurity and the feeling of being the ugly kid. I was slightly over-weight but i couldn’t even remember what i had done back then to empower myself, being attractive enough and over insecure with my body at the same time. I realized that there was and always be a war in my mind: the real me, the me i’m ashamed of and the me I have been always fighting for. But I had lost that battle, and not just that. I lost every memory I have ever created in high school: friends, teachers, lovers, skipping periods, sexual jokes with boys, junk food and get-together playing makeover with girls, first time getting tattooed, first love of my life, crying on my best friend’s shoulder, and sexual orientation coming-out crisis. The back of my head was hit by a truck, struck by a lightning, and like waking up after a coma, can’t even used my ears to hear things....  

I was ashamed of being me for quite a while, if I have ever counted that would be 8 years and a half. When you’re reading this, it may be correctly 9 years or more. And High School would be something to stay if I ever wanted to get some self-esteem because that was the time to live for, everybody agrees on that. I was ashamed of pushing people away, because of the habit of constantly feeling hurt. I was ashamed of not having had enough common sense to even notice that I have hurt a shitload of people to cover my wound and my joy of speaking up whatever I had in my mind. I was ashamed of being me, even today. I am that one trash people could never get rid of, that non-recycle psycho who needs everything to be written down before going crazy and standing against myself most of the time. 

So. You have read my words till the end of this post. I don’t know you are, but I feel blessed. Thank you for doing this, like I could spread my legacy of nothing to someone while I couldn’t just simply pick up my phone and call a friend to talk to. I’m sorry but thank you. I’ll write more. Because I have to. 

Love

-A