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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Ducktales: The Treasure of the Lost Lamp Movie Reviewcap! (Patreon Stretch Goal)

Hello all you happy people! And we have a special review today for two reasons. The first is that this is my second patreon stretch goal review, having hit the 15 dollar goal back in march thanks to my wonderful friend Emma, the same patreon whose responsible for the Green Eggs and Ham Reviews, who helped me hit the 15 dollar goal. As a result you fine people are getting three movie reviews each based on a Disney Afternoon Movie with Treasure of the Lost Lamp today, a goofy movie at the end of the motnh for a weeklong tribute to my favorite dogmandadguy. Extremley was going to be part of it but the length of this review convinced me otherwise, but I will be doing it this summer so keep an ear out. If you want to help me hit my next stretch goals do yourselve a favor and zip on over to my patreon YOU CAN FIND MY PATREON HERE. My next stretch goal at “OH Look 20 Dollars” would give everyone patreon and not, a monthly review of Darkwing Duck as decided by my patrons, reviews of BOTH season 2 mini series from Ducktales 87, introducing Fenton to the world and blighting it with Bubba before the 2017 series fixed him, and as a brucey bonus added last month a review of Danny Phantom the Ultimate Enemy. And if that wasn’t enough if you help me get to the goal after that at 25 unlocks another trilogy of disney film reviews, this time for the proud family and recess movie and the best kim possible movie, and dcom period, so the drama as well as Bryan Lee O’ Malley’s two stand alone graphic novels, lost at sea and seconds for you Scottaholics in the audience.

The other reason now the shilling’s done. is that the plan WAS to review this back to back with Treasure of The Found Lamp, to the point the orginal review had a whole thing about that, why it was delayed etc... but now that review’s been scrapped all together as something sudden and wonderful happened. After just kinda giving up someone came through with a translation of Della’s first apperance so presumibly i’ll be doing that as part of the build up to mother’s day, and since I still want ot do maternal instincts too, and already had to let the Floyd Gottfredson birthday special slide away as well... it had to go as I want to leave the only open space on the schedule for the lovely person who found the story for me. But this review is still done, i’m very proud of it so join me under the cut won’t you?

Behind The Scenes: Before I get into it i’d just like to note this article from SyFy Wire. It , along with articles I found via wikipedia citations, was an invaluable resource.

The film was an experiment: It was an experiment to see if one of their tv properties could bring in theatrical money, to see if a movie made on a cheaper budget and still rake in decent money, to see if a film could be made being outsourced to several diffrent places, and to see what one of those places, their recently aquiried french stuido, could handle this kind of work.

The film, if succesful would be the first of Disney’s MovieToons line, a series of films based on their shows. As you can tell by the fact only this movie and Goof Troop happened and the Movie Toons label wasn’t applied to that one it very much failed. While the film was warmly recevied by people who liked the show general audiences didn’t turn out for it. As a result the MovieToons label was scrapped, future projects with it were canceled.. but the stellar work put in by the french stuidio lead to it perserviering for several more decades and lead to them working on the Goofy Movie, which we’ll get to later this month but needless to say was a MUCH bigger hit with a much bigger budget.

As for why the film failed... I have two theories. THe first is that parents were stupid back then and didn’t want to pay to see something on the big screen they could see on tv’s. This is a stupid mentality to me as generally a movie of a tv show puts in a ton of extra effort and usually goes bigger and dosen’t go home. It’s a likely theory given most liscened films of the era didn’t do quite well, with all three hasbro films tanking. And look I get Transformers the Movie is cheesy and killed a lot of people’s childhood toys, but damn if it ain’t aweosme.. and also something I need to cover at some point. Thankfully this died out by later in the 90′s with Rugrats getting a hugely succesful if flawed film, a better sequel and a third one that was also a crossover with the wild thornberries.

And even now in 2020 we’re getting the Loud House and Rise of the TMNT movies sometimes this summer, we were SUPPOSED to have gotten the bobs burgers movie this summer but arne’t because Disney is being a dick about it.

And we got a phineas and ferb movie last year. With this trend hopefully thsi means we’ll get a Ducktales 2017 movie at some point since season 4 left a huge sequel hook laying right there to grab for a feature film. One final note: The film was conceptually thought up as a 5 part serial like “Treasure of the Golden Suns”, “Catch as Cash Can”, “SuperDucktales” and “Time is Money, something that DOES show as the movie weirdly has act breaks. In a feature film. Yup.

The Guest Cast:

I won’t go into the full cast since I’ve sung Alan Young and Russi Taylor’s praises PLENTY on this blog before, and I plan to go into Beakly and Launchpad’s actors when they show up in the pilot movie. But i’d be remiss if i didn’t talk about our three guest actors for our three new parts.

First up is Merlock voiced by legend and if I had a hall of fame, hall of famer Christopher Lloyd.. I need to get me one of those. Lloyd is of course known for playing Doc Brown in back to the future but has done countless other films, voicework, and other good stuff. Among his MASSIVE filmography includes The Back to the Future Trilogy (Already mentioned it but it bears repeating), Star Trek III, Who Framed Roger Rabbit as the pants destroyingly terrifying Judge Doom, The Addams Family duology as fester, a role rip torn would ironcially play for the animated series made to captalize on said movie, Hey Arnold! The Movie, The Oogieloves in The Big Ballon Adventure (Look everybody needs money sometimes okay?), and Art of the Deal: The Movie, which was not, thankfully an ego filating nightmare made by trump himself but a film made by funny or die parodying his terrible book and having Llloyd return as Doc Brown. TV Wise he’s known for Taxi, Back to the Future the Animated Series, Cyberchase and he most recently popped up on Big City Greens. How I missed that ep I.. do know as I haven’t watched season 2. Gonna fix that later this month. Lloyd is utterly awesome, a great guy and thankfully still alive at the time of this writing, so I was happy to have him here.

Less familiar to me but still known is Rip Taylor, a comedian known for his flamboyant unique way of speech and his marvelous mustache. He showed up in things occasionally and always seemed like the nicest guy and his passing in late 2019 truly is sad. He does a terrific job here but more on that in a moment.

Finally we have Richard Libertini, a comedian I never really saw in anything besides this who according to IMDB was most famous for his ablility to do a foreign accent. I REALLY hope all of them aren’t as horribly racist as this one. We’ll.. get to that in a sec as it’s time for the plot!

A Treasure Uncovered:

We open our film gorgeously. The animation is great in the film, having some rough edges I chalk up to the film’s hectic production, the studio being new at working at disney properties, and the film not being meant for HD. That being said a few rough spots here and there aside.. the film looks ungodly gorgeous. Like most theatrical films based on a cartoon it takes an already great style and makes it look great. It feels like a more fluid evolution of the cartoons look and it’s a shame we didn’t get more movies in this style for both this show and others, ESPECIALLY Darkwing Duck. Can you imagine a Darkwing Duck movie with this lush animation? Hopefully we’ll get one eventually.

So our heroes are going to somewhere in the Middle East. That’s.. that’s all wikipedia gives me and all the film gives me. As usual Scrooge is after treasure in this case the Treasure of Collie Baba, the greatest thief there ever was based obviously off Ali Baba from 1001 nights and that one Beastie Boys song.

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It’s here we find the WORST thing about the film, the thing that makes this a hard one to watch depsite otherwise being pretty good, and that makes my skin crawl knowing i’m a white man and a BUNCH of white guys, Ducktales series creator who did the voice casting for this character, the writers who wrote him, the direector disney them fucking selves who thought this was okay.

The film has some horrible steroytping. It starts with a bunch of backgorund guys surronding Scrooge, with crooked teeth and steotypical voices. This on it’s own is odious.

It somehow gets worse. Then we meet one of our antagonists. We meet Dijon.

This Fucking Guy

Djon is horribly offensive reminding me of other such luminaries in being ungodly offensive yet somehow getting put to film as Jar Jar Binks (With all respeect to his poor actor Ahmed Best, this is not his fault), Rob Schinder as a Sterotypically asian preist, Skids and Mudflap, Rob Schinder as a sterotypically mexican bandit, The Whitewashed cast of The Last Airbender, and Rob Schinder as a stereotypically asian preist. What i’m saying is Djon is an AWFUL, horribly offensive character.. and that Rob Schinder should be shot up into space, not to watch cheesy movies, he’s not funny enough for that, but instead to be sent to a satlitie that’s liveable, but also filled to the brim with spring loaded boxing gloves. Just tons of boxing gloves that feel like getting punched by a heavewight boxer all hidden... they could hit his legs, his face, his nuts, his face and his nuts, the point is he’s in constnat pain unless he moves carefully.

And lest you think i’m exaggerating for starters this is his design.

It just screams “vaugely but sterotpyically middle eastern” along with cowardly. The fact he’s also a literal rat is just the icing on the cake made of broken glass, shrapnel and broken DVD’s of Transformers; Revenge of the Fallen. They say if you eat a reveng eof the fallen dvd John Tutoro appears at the foot of your bed and watches you while you sleep.. and by they I mean me. It was a bad bet. I got rid of him with some insese and a bribe of five dollars.

Oh but that’s just design.. when he talks it’s MUCH worse. His voice is like if they took Apu from the simpsons and said “This but MORE offensive”, and his perosnality is WORSE. He’s a thief.. and not in the endearing loveable rogue way but he’s a pick pocket and a running “Gag’ is that he’ll often grab eveyrthing within reahc. As the deisgn shows he’s a coward running at every opportunity. Oh and to top it all off he’s the willing servant of the white coded, given all ducks in this series are white coded and voiced bby white actors, big bad. And the actor is naturally VERY white to make this cocktail of offensivness so complete that if Disney ever got rid of this film I GUARANTEE the republcian party would be running in with accusations of cancel culture gone amok and never shutting up about this like they did the muppets. Which for the record THEY DIDN’T CANCEL THEM, YOUR POINT IS ILLEGITMATE, THEY JUST WANTED TO BE SENSTIVE YOU GHOULS.

I do have a reason for bringing up Disney’s content warnings... most damming of all given just how DEEPLY uncomfortbale this character is.. there isn’t one for this movie. I double checked: There isn’t even wanring notes on the website. It’s just.. on there. And given just how ghastly a sterotype Djon is.. that’s not right. Seriously they DID put them on certain episodes of the show, theyk now this sort of thing is wrong and they done wrong.. but for NO reason they haven’t done so for a film released 31 years ago. Around the same time as the series and just offensive as that show at it’s worst if not more so. This is flatly inexcusable.. par for the course for Disney’s incompetence but still horribly furstrating, disgusting and shameful.. which has been the theme of the last three days really. I expect better because when it comes to putting that warning label on this stuff, they usually are better. First the scheduling mixup and now this. You already do a handful of things wrong Disney why add this to the list?!

It’s just draining not only to run into another Disney Fuckup after a weekend of dealing with one of their worst in recent memory, but just to watch Djon. To see this horrible caractrure saunter onto the screen and go on with his harmful schtick, to see that THIS is what Ducktales 87 reduced non white people to more often than not. It’s remarkable just how throughly and awesomely Frank and Matt completely and totally reversed this. Instead of horrible sterotypes in the reboot, we got TONS of loveable people of color, an endearing latino hero, a smart african american buisness woman who takes no shit but is still a consumate professional, and an egyptian HERO with an intresting story and a strong moral code instead of this horrible reminder that racisim in media was such an afterthought not ONE person brought this up during the scyfy wire stuff or in any inteview i’ve seen. No one cared. Djon was POPULAR enough that he got three episode sin the series. THREE FUCKING EPISODES. This film could be GOOD.. but it’s just so bogged down EVERY FUCKING TIME this artists interpreitation of what Tucker Carlson sees when he looks at a middle eastern person I had to pause to compose myself and had to take a break writing this review to avoid tyiping this in all caps and using the phrase YOU RACIST MOTHERFUCKERS every other sentence. And again i’m white, I get this is second hand offensiveness.. I do... but it dosen’t mean I can’t be offended other white people were so callous about other cultures behaviors this happened.

And what makes me feel worse.. is that I just sorta... never thought about white people voicing non white characters. Things like this I noticed sure, I realize now part of the reason I didn’t like this movie the first time I saw it was this alex jones version of a looney tune, but I do feel shame for not noticing or caring long before this. Sure I loved it when a character of color got played by a person of color.. but I didn’t realize just how deep that problem was and how LONG it went on for before the outcry post george floyd and the call to action lead to most shows still going course correcting. It’s why stuff like this extra botehrs me: because THIS was just as okay at the time. No one blinked twice about this and odds are the creators involved still haven’t. And that.. that’s just terrible and it hurts to think about and I still have most of the movie to go.

The Pyramid of Peril:

So we do get a gorgeous unvewling scene of a box Scrooge found out about from Collie Baba’s horde that should lead them to the treasure. This scene reminds me of Indina Jones.. and I bring this up because the poster was specifically made to mimick an indinia jones poster, to the point of getting drew struzan to do it. THe creator of Ducktales objected..l but I do not get WHY. While I”m not sure if he had yet, Speilberg flat out admits the Carl Barks comics were an inspiration for Indina Jones, with the iconic bolder chase coming from a similar scene in one of Barks Stories. Gotta cover that too. So yeah I don’t get not wanting an indina jones style poster when both were inspiried by the same work and it’s just simple logic and it looks so neat. Thank you.

Scrooge finds seemingly just clothes.. and a map. Jeff Dunham’s Most Racist Puppet reports to his master, Merlock. Merlock is a.. meh villian. Christopher Lloyd does try.. but Lock is your standard evil overlord wants to take over the world type. He dosen’t have much depth, or personality and only his style saves him from dragging the film down along with Dana Carvey’s most racist disguise in master of disguise. He does have a deent shape shifting gimick and being played by Christopher Lloyd means he’s acted TREMENDOUSLY. Alan Young was apparently in awe watching him work and that’s wonderful to hear. The guy did his best. Weirdly Merlock would show up in tons of other works, mostly video games.. but even weirder he NEVER showed up in ducktales 2017. Both Djon and Gene would, Djon thankfully renamed we’ll get to all of that tommorow thank god. I need it after this. But Frank has outright said they didn’t use Merlock because there simply wasn’t anything they could do with him they couldn’t dow ith magica. My likely guess is the might of found a way to revamp him EVENTUALLY, it’s not like radical revamps weren’t there thing come on, they just had way more stories with Magica and didnd’t get around to it before the show was canceled. Just make him some sort of evil god or something. it’s what I might do. There’s a lot of angles with him. Though I would’ve still gotten christopher lloyd back. I mean most of the recasting is good but he’s still alive and deserved a better shot at things.

So Merlock sends Djonn to go with scrooge as his guide to find the treasure, as there’s something of imense power within it. And I gotta ask WHY does Merlock need a minon. No really. This isn’t a situation like reboot magica where he’s trapped in another realm. He can shapeshift into any animal. We only see him use falcon, rat, cockroach and bear but theoritically he can become anything and bear alone is still a LOT. Why does he need this sterotype even other sterytopes ar eashamed of? The film dosen’t NEED Djonn. Just let Christopher Lloyd monologue and leave this post 911 propogranda cartoon at home.

So our heroes nad rejected jar jar prototype head into the desert, and seemingly find nothing before finding a small pyramid all while Merlock follows desecretley as a mighty hawk.

Scrooge makes the boys and Djon dig... because they clearly forgot the “work hard” part of his ethos.

Our heroes unveil the pyramid... and while Merlock SAYS he searched the desert and I get it’s hard to see thourgh all of that.. the dude is immortal, had decades to search and had Mickey Rooney there on standby to force him to go comb the desert. I have an artist rendering of that hang on

So our heroes enter the pyramid and it goes.. really how you’d expect: there’s a bunch of traps our brave explorers have to pass, the boys minintpret a juinor woodchuck saying about loosing your marbles to mean using the ones they actually have which geninely comes in handy as they trip the traps and Rob SChinder as a carrot stumbles into one. Also launchpad is wearing a hawaiin shirt and shades. This has no baring on the plot, but it does bring the movie up a notch in my book and I question why the reboot never used this outfit. Then again they also never properly used Donald’s Quack Pack Outfit (Which bad show or not, is objectively awesome), or his Quack Shot Indiana Jones Riff Outfit, so it’s not like there isn’t a presdecnt for not giving a character a cool costume change from a previous medium. I really should do a top 12 missed opportunities list for the 2017 cartoon.. the ideas for stuff are really piling up.

OUr heroes eventually find the treasure which has insidiously clever security the more I think about it: at first I thought it had none, just a pit with some... scorpions? I mean their supposed to be but they look like they crawled out of the same stygian hole in the sky Doofus crawled out of. And if your asking me “wait which Doofus” the answer is both. Both these abominations crawled out of a stygian hole in the sky.

But the treasure is on a platform surrounded by scoprions with the only way out being the trap filled way they came in. Unless someone comes in with a full team and a bunch of lootin sacks, they aren’t getting out with EVERYTHING. They can steal SOME of the treasure but there’s no way to get any signifigant portion... and the team thing itself is an issue, something Collie defintely predicted being a thief himself: while some thieves can work well as a team, hence why we have four oceans movies 3/4 damn good, and for the record 12 is the bad one, 8 is how you do a soft reboot and a female led reboot right, a good chunk of professional crooks will turn on each other or try and swinldle... and tha’ts dangerous in a trap filled temple but hey some criminals ain’t so smart. If they all were Rudy Gulliani wouldn’t have two razzies for preparing to pull his pants down, and have waved his phone around on tv like a dare for future adminstrations to arrest the shit out of him would he?

But Scrooge has his family so they get loading. But not before Webby finds the lamp. Not knowing about it Scrooge has no intrest in it, but Webby does. We also get a really simple but hilarious gag where SCrooge dickers over the idea for a second.. before Webby picks up a Jeweled tiara to possibly take instead. The best gags to me are often the ones that just let the character’s perosnalities take the lead and bounce off each other. It’s why when I reviewed the four lilo and stitch crossovers recently I harped on character interaction as their biggest weakness: it’s what MAKES a good work for me. It’s why my faviorite comics and shows often follow a loveable group of disfunctional misfits. I like a group of big personalities who despite in theory should NOT be able to work making it work anyway. And it’s honeslty what’s made Scrooge last so long: Scrooge on his OWN is awesome.. but iwth the boys, donald, and in the case of this series and the reivival Webby and Launchpad, with people to bounce off of who he contrasts heavily with, from Launchapd’s buffonery to Webby’s inehrent sweetness in both versions, to the boys genuine honesty and sense of adventure.... it makes him truly stand out. He’s a great character on his own, don’t get me wrong.. but it’s the people around him that give him chances to show WHY. A good character on it’s own is fine and dandy.. a good character with other good characters around them is where it gets truly special.

Merlock naturally bursts in and in a VERY Black Heron move needlesly outs what micheal bay sees when he closes his eyes as a bad guy... no really he grabs the guy with his talons as he captures the treasure and reveals he’s a bad guy. I don’t even get why keep Djonn alive. He’s done all Merlock possibly could’ve needed and Merlock is ruthless... this makes no sense and only happens because they need Djonn for later in the plot.

Our heroes barely escape, rafting out on the platform itself in a thrilling sequence.. but it’s the one right after that catches my attention. Scrooge utterly defeated, having searched for this treasure for forty years and unresponsive to everyone else. The anmation, coupled with the incomprable Alan young’s acting makes this the highlight of the film for me. Beneath the armor of wealth and skill.. is only a poor old man who just lost something he’s been chasing after most of his life. Scrooge tries his hardest not to be vunerable and both shows and the original comics all use that so when he truly is devistated like this, and i’ts belivible since this treasure is a personal goal of his and as someone who has had things that they seek out specifically, loosing them always hurts. It hurts to ALMOST reach a goal only to have it crumble out under you

But while this alone is good.. what’s next makes it great. Webby sweetly offers up the lamp. Scrooge turns it down, and her genuine gesture reinvgorates him and reminds us of who he is “I’ll find it if it takes another 40 years”> Scrooge may be bitter, mean and selfish a lot of the time.. but deep down, he’s a good man and one who will not give up, and a momentary setback can only stop him so long as long as he has his family to remind him of who he truly is.. and what’s truly important. It’s genuinely sweet and to me is also a reminder of why 87 Webby is a good character: Shes’ not perfect, her main personality trait is often Girl Sterotype”.. but she’s a genuinely sweet small child with a huge heart. It’s telling that while 17′ Webby is almost completely diffren,t and far better, that heart remains her biggest strength. Sure her reboot self could kill a man nad no one would ever find the body, but it’s her heart and empathy that makes that possible and makes her Webby. That inherent loving nature is what makes Webby webby wether she’s a toddler having a tea party or a tween getting ready to intergoate a guy with a meat tenderizer while saying ‘Cute girl stuff”.

Gene Genie Let’s Himself Go:

It’s a few days later and this is the point where it REALLY becomes obvious this was written as a bunch of episodes. Though to the film’s credit while it does ake this feel like a compliation movie as a result... it dosen’t hamper the film’s quality, condiment from Rush Limbaghs’ hot dog stand does that just fine, but once you notice it it’s impossible to unotice it. Weirdly though it seems chunked up into four episodes rather than the usual five, likely cutting down an episode, though I can’t see where they cut out material frankly if they did and i’ts just as likely they woudl’ve had to make one to fill in the space.

So Scrooge is in a mood, being grumpy with his secretary Mrs. Featherly, quackfaster in all but name, and having to be sent home. So while Duckworth goes to fetch him Webby polishes her treasure at long last readying for a tea party, something the boys roundly reject because their sexist little twits and swo were the writers or executies who assumed all little boys act the same. It’s easily my biggest pet peeve with the series as a whole: anytime this crops up with the boys it turns them into the worst dicks imaginable. It’s telling this, being mean about her wantin ga tea party with her surrogate brothersi s TAME. Normally they’ll say she can’t do things because she’s a girl or mock her hobies outright instead of just be mildly dickish. And while she dosen’t look much younger Webby is VERY CLEARLY, in this series anyway, supposed to be say 5 or 6 to the boys 8-10. 7 at most. SHe’s a small child and while it is realistic for older kids to bully younger ones, it’s not fun to watch. It’s why I get annoyed at all the big sibling bully characters.. some work, but most aren’t fun to watch because there’s nothing funny or intresting about it. It’s the same deal here.

Thankfully that quickly goes away as the lamp moves when Webby rubs it and does so again to prove it did move. Huey finishes it and we’re introduced to Gene, the best part of the film. Gene is a Genie and he takes a second to dart around before messing with the appliances in the kitchen, as he was last around during the time 1001 Nights Came About. Cleverly though, and so we thankfully don’t have 80 dozen fishout of water jokes that have already been done before. As you can probably guess i’m not a huge fan of time travel fish out of water stuff. Now from another dimensoin or planet, i’m on board with with Star Vs, Steven Universe and Sym-Bionic Titan being great examples of this, as is the comic resident alien. (Despite having the wonderous Alan Tuduk the show sounds way more mean spirited and misses the entire point of the comic as given by the author in the credits, i.e. that the alien is supposed to NOT be a threat and just be gently waiting for a ride) The inverse is also good with Amphbia and owl house, taking a human and plopping them into our world. But time travel stuff just usually runs the same beats of “look at the shiny thing” and what not. The only time i’ve sene something SIMILAR work is with thor where their society is SIMILAR to vikings time but still it’s own thing.. it also gave us a classic gag in..

So yeah i’m glad they dropped this and instead had a clever way around it: Gene reads the encylopedia at the mansion. Granted it’s Scrooge so I don’t know how current it is and given this came out in 1990 thus HOW racist it is. It’s not a questoin of IF it was, but how much.

But having caught up the kids confront him with the fact he has to grant wishes. This lamp runs on what I now realize are Aladdin rules: Whoever currently holds the Lamp is the Genie’s master, they only get three wishes, and that dosen’t reset if it changes hands. The only big diffrence from the usual is Gene dosen’t have to TELL them about the wishes like Genie did, and Gene very begrudginly agrees to it. He also seem’s phsyically pained when doing so.

So since all 12 know about him, each of the kids gets a wish though it seems unfair with HDL. Their one person, they shoudln’t get 9 wishes just because their brain is spread out over three bodies.

This film continues the weird simliarties to Aladdin by attaching rules though they instead come up as a result of our heroes talking rather than the Genie just flat out tleling them: both share the “you can’t wish for more wishes” thing, a common rule in these stories and usually only broken nowadays as a clever twist as the rule is SO common place, not having it is a twist. But it is there for a reason: to limit the sheer power of a reality warping wish. The wishes can also only go so far. In a nice line, when Huey, Dewey or Louie suggests wishing for peace one earth, Gene says “No pipe dreams’ He can’t bend people or reality on THAT scale. He can bend reality as we find out, but it’s smaller scales like turning someone’s possesions over ot someone else, warping the bin into a castle, or bringing inanitamte objects to limited life. Still HUGE feats worth of a genie, so Gene’s power isn’t so nerfed it’s unusuable, but it does explain why his evil pervious ownder Merlock, more ont hat in a bit too, didn’t just wish to have eternal dominon over the earth or something. Gene can do just about anything but he can’t change the world on a fundemental level.

And I do LIKE having rules in wished based stories like this, I chalk it up to growing up with Fairly Odd Parents... though they eventually went too far in the oppsoitie direction, pulling rules out of their ass to suit the episode, instead of simply having some very standard, very understandable rules that still pose challenges but don’t outright cheat so the episode can happen.

So Webby does her first wish.. and wishes for a Baby Elephant, something Gene is against as he prefers they keep the wishes small: otherwise he gets found out, and the fight over him begins. So one of the boys wishes him away. Or Webby does. Point is it’s gone though not before Beakly sees it and Scrooge smells something is up. Our heroes try to hide gene, but gene thankfully simply dresses up like a modern kid and thus is able to pass as a friend of there staying for the night.

So with the rules established and what not the kids find a clever solution: they simply go a ways away from the mansion into the woods, far enough from town to avoid any suspcion, and same iwth the mansion and just wish for all kinds of stuff: a giant bunch of ice cream toys, standard kid wish fufillment but it’s nice... in part because the kids treat Gene like one of them. Wihle they STARTED asking him about the wishes, this starts the bonding process. Soon he will be part of the hive mind.. SOON.

Until then though after using another wish to make scrooge not mad at them for coming home late and missing dinner, that night we find out Gene’s backstory.... and it’s an utter tearjerker. As it turns out Merlock wants him back because he’s Gene’s former master and as you’d guess.. it was NOT a happy existnace, used contstnatly to do horrible things with no power to stop himself. Pompeii and Atlantis were both directly Merlock’s fault and it was only Collie Baba stealing the lamp that put an end to his hell. He also answers the two obvious questions botht he audeiince and the boys have: How the hell is Merlock still alive and shoudln’t he be out of wishes then? The first is simple. Unlike pretty much every DBZ Villian whose WANTED to do so, Merlock wished for immortality first chance he got, taking the Zamasu route instead and thus leaving him free.

As for the wishes thing it turns out his amulet, in adition to shapeshifting, also gives him extra wishes becuase fuck it.

But the boys sweetly offer to protect him.

The next day, Apu’s Cousin let’s Merlock know the maps in the mansion and Merlock has him help sneak in with Merlock taking rat form. This backfires as Mrs. Beakley notices the form and chases after him with a broom

Meanwhile Webby has her tea party with Gene after he and the boys played cops and robbers earlier, and he’s bored.. though nicely not because it’s a girly thing, but because the stuffed animals aren’t alive and she naively has him fix that. This leads to

Which sadly is jsut scrooge vs a duck toy but admit it, you want that movie for Disney Plus yesterday. Call Charles Band Disney. CALL CHARLES BAND!

Whelp Scrooge Still Sucks:

Scrooge takes for a turn for the obnoxious in the next part, but i’ts fine by me as it’s part of the plot. Naturally this reinactment of Cult of Chucky has lead to Scrooge finding out about the Genie. To his credit, Scrooge is tactical about his wishes. As said by the Duck himself “I could wish for a diamond, no the world’s biggest dimaond, no ten world’s biggest diamond, no a diamond mind, no the MINING INDUSTRY!”

The sheer power this gives him is TERRIFYING, both because of his status.. and because unlike the kids who all wished for simple kid stuff and used up their wishes quickly, he both gets how much he can do with this and could conquer the world economy if he truly wanted to.

The obnoxious part comes in as he treats Gene as not a person, figuring he’s just there and forces him into the lamp despite the kids protests after Gene grants his first wish: Collie Baba’s treasure. It also dosen’t feel like the wishing nor him using the lamp to get the tresure back goes against his hard work ethos: for the former while he is getting all this magically, he’s still having ot use his wits to get the most out of it, and he did earn the lamp itself square. For the latter, he already earned the treasure square too and had it stolen. He’s onlyg etting back what’s by all rights HIS. Granted he plans on giving most of it up for a tax break but still it’s his by right.

However the reason his assholery works is twofold: first it’s Scrooge. While he’s not a TERRIBLE person, in the comcis and this cartoon he isn’t a GOOD person either. He DOES have a good heart and will usually do the right thing, but his first instnct is always to get more money and to be a cantakerous old bastard to eveyrone and everything. While he’s subtly grew out of “I hate eveyrone and everyone hates me” as his guiding principal, it’s still his defualt reaction to most situations. But he first relents by letting Gene attend the party, part of why the Collie Baba thing stung so bad was that he’s told the historical society he’d get the treasure for years only to come back empty handed, if shrunken. But he still manages to have a good time while Asok and Merlock infiltrate.. well I’mRunningOutofINsultingNIcknamesCanYouTell steals the silverware. Yes... that.. that really happens.

Look we’re almost done, i’m almost free of this racist mummies curse. Let’s continue. Gene sees melock and freaks and drags SCrooge with him and while at First Scrooge is cranky...

No but now I want a Donkey Kong Country crossover too dammmit. And to talk about those games. Another thing for the list. But Scrooge is righ tot be a bit surly...

Okay now your just pushing it. As Gene whisked him away without telling him anything other than vauge worries... but then he gets a full idea of why Gene’s so terrified when Merlock shapeshifts into a bear and starts breaking the door down. Eh, could be worse.

Gene shrinks them to escape and Merlock leaves thinking they fled but leaves Skids Minus Mudflap to go look for them. Scrooge sneaks out but bumps into a cart running from the photo you see when you look up stereotype on google. I mean I assume.. let’s try it.

Huh you know I HOPED but I never expected...

So Google Proving My Point plans to give his lamp to the master because of his weird Torgo-Esque obession with helping a man who clearly wants to murder him but takes his sweet time doing so because plot, and Gene figuring this COULDN’T POSSIBLY go as bad as Melock getting him urges the dummy to keep him and make his own wishes.

This goes about as well as you’d expect....

Wiped Out With A Wish:

Scrooge returns home to find Watto has wished to take his poessions, fortune, everything and Scrooge gets thrown in jail for breaking into his own house. We get two great moments back to back. The first is Scrooge lamenting loosing his fortune in jail, and realizing the sheer power and risk of the lamp, especially since he worked hard to earn it, every bit of it.. and Sam Wilson’s 70′s Backstory came in and took it all in an instant.

The second is Scrooge’s family coming for him, including Launchpad , Beakly and Webby obviously and bailing him out. Though Beakly is UNGOLDLY annoying in this scene, sobbing hysterically and adding nothing and it’s not nearly as funny as the film thinks. Turns out Goliath getting buried wrapped in chains threw them out.

Scrooge takes a bit to rebound from all this.. but eventually realizes something: he knows the security of the bin inside and out. He had it put in after all. So it’d be easy enough to break in. So they gotta break in to break out the lamp, undo this nightmare, and END THIS MOVIE. Seriously this review has taken two days as is I do NOT want to miss my invincible review.

So they break into the bin, and it’s a tightly paced Scene, scrooge going in one way while the kids go the other and we even get a nice callback as the marbels come in handy to get past one of the traps. It’s just a good scene. it’s only real flaw is that Launchapd just sorta disappears as does Duckworth despite the fact their in a plane, and the bin later gets turned into a floating castle. Kinda a plot hole to not have Launchpad crash in to save htem just saying.

Scrooge eventually does get to Djonn, whose been ignoring the imminent threat of Merlock while Gene sweats it out... and this backfires horribly as Merlock hitched a ride as a roach (Though there was a hilarious scene of him getting fried constnatly by lasers when Louie went through a laser hallway, as while Louie had the directions, it dind’t take into account passengers on your head.

So Merlock remanifests in full gets the Lamp and unleashes his wrath on Tin Tin in the Congo and turns him into a wild pig.

Not you sweetie. He then forces Gene to turn the castle into a fortress and float it back to his home in parts unknown. It’s a DAMN cool scene with impressive and horrifiing animation as the bin melts and crumbles into thte castle and the kids barely make it up the stares as they shift and disolve. Really top notch stuff.

Scrooge stands up to Merlock... and this naturally goes poorlyw ith Gene begging Merlock not to respond.. and Merlock having him blow scrooge off the top of the forgtess storm eagle style, though scrooge understands. And this is the true reason why scrooge being a dick didn’t bother me so much. Because it helps create a great contrast between him and Merlock. Both thought of Gene as a tool rather than a person.. but Scrooge grew to realize he was wrong and what he was dealing with wasn’t some magical goodies creator.. but a child forced to constantly grant wishes, in sheer agony to do so no less, likely so sick of it because again and again and again people used him as a slave to get what they wanted and to hell with what Gene wanted. He realized he was terrible for making this poor boy into his slave simply because that’s his job. In contrast Merlock could give no shits and is a malevolent monster who glefully uses Gene despite the pain the wishes put him through and his protests. It’s why Gene is the best part.. he’s athroughly likeable, throughly inncoent character with tons of personality and a truly tragic and horrifying backstory and Rip Taylor acts the hell out of every scene with the guy.

Thankfully the marbles come in handy one last time and Huey, Dewey or Louie snipes the lamp away and a struggle for it insues between Scrooge and Merloc mid air. it’s fucking awesome.. and it get sbetter in how scroogewins. He simply gets rid of Merlock’s amulet, taking it then throwing it. Grante dhe COULD’EVE used it for unimited wishes.. but it was too risky to do that and as we’ll see in the ending , Scrooge realized the Lamp was too powerful to keep around for much longer and too much of a tempting target for his rogues.. not that we see them this movie as the crew wanted it to bea ccesaible and thus kept hte cast to the main cast from season 1 and just made new vilians and a new supporting character, but still.

He does use his second wish though to undue the damage Merlock had done and the bin and clan mcduck are returned to duckburg in good condition.

Time for our ending, which is genuinely and wholly touching. With the lamp too dangerous to use Scrooge considers just sending it to the earth’s core, which horrifies the kids as it’d mean Gene would be trapped there forever... if the molten lava iddn’t just outright destory the lamp and probably kill him. But Scrooge.. isn’t the bastard he likes to potray himself as. Instead he makes Gene into a real boy. He gives the poor kid HIS wish, which designrates the lamp and undoes all the spells... so Merlock is PROBABLY dead but he does return for some games so maybe not?

And so we end on two things: Gene happily playing cops and robbers with the boys finally free.. and Birth of A Nation grabbing all the loot he can in his patns and running off. Ha ha ha thank god i’m done with this prick. And no I will not be looking at his ducktales episodes unless I have to.

Final Thoughts:

This movie is OKAY. It has a solid plot, gene is a wonderful chacter, the animatoin is pretty prettay pretty good, and the voice acting as usual is excellent, with Rip Taylor being the standout.

But as my paragraphs of rage shoud’ve made Clear Djonn is just BAD. Easily the worst character i’ve encountered in my year of reviewing and some of the worst writing i’ve ran into. And that writing includes a goblin man voyerstically forcing two teenagers to make out, making jokes about santa renaming himself Clem the sceneafter he tearfully confessed to letting the elves and ms. claus die, accidental transphobia via the u-men, and Bryan Lee O malley thinking we needed more than one volume of Julie Powers being around. This was disgusting, even by 1990 standards and especially by 2021 standards and it drags the film down considerably. Without it the film is okay.. with it the film is just VERY hard to watch any time he pops up. He made getting through the movie a nightmare and while I pause a lot becaue it’s a bad habbit I did so more simply because as I said earlier in the review I could not stand him.

It makes it a hard film to recommend. If you can stomach the racisim, then it might be worth it, but be aware of what your putting up with going in. But if you can’t.. there’s no shame in that, it’s carbombya levels of bad. Which yes was a real fictoinal country. It was so bad Casey Casem quit transformers over it. True story. So yeah, it’s an okay film, on par with the series at it’s best for the most part.. but Djonn just spoils it for me.

If you liked this review, like it, share it around that sort of thing and if you want MORE disney movie reviews, in addiiton to the goofy movie one later this month, if you help me hit my 25 dollar stretch goal on patroen.com/popculturebuffet, i’ll do reviews of the Recess, Proud Family and Kim Possible MOvies (Well so the drama anyway), so help me out would you and i’ll see you at the next rainbow.

#ducktales #ducktales treasure of the lost lamp #ducktales 87 #scrooge mcduck #rip taylor #christopher lloyd #launchpad mcquack #webby vanderquack #huey duck #louie duck #dewey duck #duckworth #bentina beakley #merlock #djon #faris djinn #movies #disney plus #disney

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divine-motion · 4 years

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my rewrite of tmnt 2012 is turning more into “my fan iteration within the story of 2012 which i change a bit to suit my self-indulgence” (which it pretty much was from the start but hey) so i’m just gonna write down some General Stuff abt it like arcs and stuff

Tang Shen is alive but did get sliced by Shredder like when she dies in canon, so she has scars and Shredder believes her to be dead. Tang Shen also believes that Yoshi went and disappeared on her when he went to buy those turtles so, you know, rough couple of years for her w/ regards to thinking her infant daughter is dead, moving away from japan w/ her husband, and then her husband mutates into a rat and doesn’t tell her abt it. now she works as a robotics engineer at Stockman labs and while she’s still depressed she’s getting better, she likes her work, and she’s working on a certain nanobot project which is going good

(Nano is in this version but they instead are in an arcade cabinet that the turtles then bring to the Lair so that Nano has a family and they get to play with the turtles often. Happy end for Nano!)

Raph is the one who first meets Shen and Shen starts signing the adoption papers for the turtles

Splinter is pretty much the same as in 2012 but like, he gets confronted abt his shit instead of just being Flawless Wise Mentor, mainly by Michelangelo and then Shen when she meets him again. think he’s still gonna die but only once instead of. what. three times?

the turtles have known April for about three years since they went to the surface in secret and met a curious human girl. April quickly decided she has four brothers now and they agreed whole-heartedly

April’s parents are both alive btw and very good parents, though since “the Kraang want to kidnap April” isn’t a thing here they are both unaware of her mutant friends

April isn’t trained as a kunoichi and instead relies on her telepathic powers, which would grow at the same rate as the turtles become better fighters. i have a whole list of her powers and their limits - for example, tinfoil hats do work to keep your head protected from telepathy, much to everyone’s surprise. a metal pot also works, or a metal helmet. Shredder is unknowingly immune to it with his helmet always being on...

the brain worms serve a slightly bigger role, but they are instead creatures from Dimension X, a weak, telepathic parasite that crawls into people’s brains and controls them to keep the worm safe while it feeds on the person. they are what Kraang Prime mutated himself with to create the Kraang hivemind. they are also called “mind maggots” in Dimension X, “brain worms” is just what Stockman and Donnie started calling them when first discovered. removing a brain worm from a person without using telepathic powers can result in the person’s death or severe brain damage

also the Kraang are a more literal hivemind. if one of them sees you, they all see you. the turtles have to use all their ninja stealth to deal with them, and it’s always a risk because the Kraang can easily overwhelm them with how many of them there are

Kraang Prime is probably gonna be offed at the end of the “season 1 finale”, probably by Leatherhead. he deserves it. offing Prime also frees the Kraang hivemind from his control and the Utrom have their autonomy back. either that, or they manage to release the hivemind from his control another way, and it leaves Prime like weak and useless somehow. maybe by plucking off those weird crystals on his head, i dunno, still thinking abt it

oh Leatherhead! Leatherhead is a doctor for mutants, being a bit of a mix between his 2003 and 2012 self. he wants to help other mutants since he knows they’re victims of the Kraang too, however indirectly, and that they can’t exactly get medical help. mutants do have greater regenerative properties, but that’s only going to help you so far, and your bones might grow back wrong quicker. so, Leatherhead spent his years of freedom studying medicine and mutant biology, using stuff he stole from the Kraang during his first escape.

it would be a lot more focused on helping mutants in general. like, there would still be mutant villains that would be fought when needed, but Mikey and Donnie would put their feet down and try to offer the mutants help in settling into their new life. the turtles would also not be disgusted with mutants like they are in 2012 like jeez, dumbdotcomm really put it into words

anyways the Kraang would cease being a threat after “season 1″ and the truce Karai suggests between Foot and Hamato does happen. Splinter hates it and doesn’t trust it at all

Baxter Stockman has his own lab which is pretty successful, and he is an incredibly smart and eccentric guy with a bubbly personality - until you threaten him or talk down to him, at which point he shows himself to be calculating and ruthless, still with a smile on his face. he doesn’t pick up on sarcasm very well, though, and if you ask him to explain something, he will happily do so in great detail, whether you’re friend or foe. also, he doesn’t get mutated into a fly, and he doesn’t get turned into just a brain, either. he’s just a funky regular human guy

Timothy becomes The Badger in this version. he’s also treated better by the turtles, especially Mikey who takes it upon himself to train Timothy, partially bc Mikey wants to be a superhero but knows he can’t show his face. in fact, Timothy was inspired by Mikey specifically as he saw Mikey trying to be a costumed superhero at one point. when Timothy mutates, he becomes a human mutant like Hun and Ravenwood from IDW, so he can become like an actual superhero with powers

more female characters. like just in general more girls please. i beg of you.

Angel is Casey’s older sister who’s off at college as a STEM student, and she is also Nobody here bc i absolutely love that for her, IDW was galaxy brained when they did that. Alopex is her partner here too same as in IDW, and they jokingly call themselves “Batteries, the Double-A Crime Fighting Duo”. Angel is very much against Casey being a vigilante despite being one herself, but she’s an adult so it’s different, obviously

the turtles ask Alopex to be their teacher, too, especially since Raph notices that she fights using anger in a controlled way, and she is a bit surprised and slightly awkward about it but she accepts. Alopex is an arctic fox instead of a red fox here btw, though she has a summer coat most of the time and only gets white fur during winter.

April would also have an arc where she strives to understand her mutant side and powers better, so she would venture into Dimension X alone to find the Utrom, and learns about their society before and after Kraang. Rook and Queen (named Quin here bc Bishop isn’t a Utrom in this version, and Utrom don’t have a concept of queens and kings) would have bigger roles, as they would help April out with her powers and figuring out what being part Utrom/Kraang means for her identity.

Rook is also an alchemist/scientist who created mutagen in the first place, and Kraang was her assistant. this isn’t super important to April’s arc but i just thought it’d throw it out there

the brain worms/mind maggots would result in a City Fall arc i’ve decided. but it would be the only time mind control/brainwashing becomes a plot point in this series bc i think 2012 really overused that trope. like it was there with Splinter and the Rat King, with the parasite wasp mutant episode, and then again with the brain worms but like, several times over.

this also means that Karai doesn’t get the brain worms pumped into her brain. remember that scene where she’s hooked up to the machine and Shredder’s like “damn that shit sucks i’m sorry Hamato Yoshi’s doing this to you”?? that scene was pretty fucked up. anyways Karai has like. agency in her own arc this time

in the City Fall arc Splinter would die and at the end Karai kills Shredder, and Leo and Karai as new leaders of the clans would be like “alright this stupid fucking ancestral cycle of vengeance” ends here

Northampton time after that because it would be a Lot

after that i think it would be space arc time? it would start with the turtles being separated across dimensions and planets a bit like when SAINW happened, but without SAINW. like, Donnie would get to Neutrino (elves with crazy hair version), Leo would get to Usagi’s dimension, etc. etc.

also in case it wasn’t obvious Tang Shen will play a big role as the turtles’ Better parent and she’d have her own stuff to work through, like meeting her daughter she thought was dead and finding out her boss, Stockman, is evil, that her husband got turned into a rat, and that her new kids get into all kinds of dangerous trouble constantly

anyways that’s um. already quite the wall of text so i’ll shut up now ‘til i have more art to post, digital art this time so you can like. actually see what things look like.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #i just think tang shen should be alive and well!#lovi speaks

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tmntxreader-fics · 6 years

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TMNT Donatello x Reader: Sudden Interest

@mariamonteon97 asked: Hi, could I request a #75 for donnie?

Fair warning, it’s kinda long.

Warnings: Cussing (as usual)

Word count: 2685

You and Donatello have never really been close.

In fact, if you’re being honest, out of all the brothers he seems to be the most unapproachable of the four.

When April had described each of her “turtle friends’” personalities, you had been most intrigued by the intellect she had promised from the mutant who donned a purple bandanna. Upon introduction, however, there was disappointingly minimal interaction and no display of the intelligence you’d been expecting.

Instead, you were appraised for a brief moment, a golden gaze behind ridiculously oversized goggles observing every inch of you in an almost clinical fashion. You could basically see the notes he was probably committing to memory based off of your appearance, to be simply filed away in the miscellaneous sector of his mind. Then, with a polite exchange of names, it was over. Donatello disappeared back into his lab where the only indication of his presence was the occasional muffled curse and distant clatter of metal.

Despite this disappointment, you find that his brothers are easy enough to like; each offering a unique personality to bide your time with.

You learn to hover-board with Mikey and bond over culinary adventures within the kitchen together, though that proves to be quite hazardous to your health at times. The leader of the troupe also occasionally invites you to simply relax with him and talk about mutual interests and individual perspectives.

Though, admittedly, you find it hard to remain at ease with Leo. His ice blue eyes are too intense and penetrate the soul even during the simplest conversations, proving it difficult to extended periods of time in his presence. On the other hand, you find Raphael to be incredibly straight forward with no hidden thoughts smuggled behind his gaze. He’s gruff, uncaring and wields a “charming” sense of humour that can only be redeemed by the depth of his personality.

Despite the observations you make of your new friends, there is one who has evaded examination. Even as the days turn to weeks and weeks to months, Donatello remains a mystery to you.

It almost feels as if he’s purposely avoiding you at this point, though, you can’t for the life of you figure out what you had done. What had you said upon meeting him that offended him enough to steer clear?

It’s only now, seven months later, do you see him for more than a thirty second window since meeting him. Seated at the table with all four brothers, you find yourself precariously perched between Donatello and Leonardo on a rickety stool. There is a weathered game of monopoly set up on the wooden bench and you scowl upon landing on Donatello’s property.

He peers down at the board from behind his glasses, identifying the property name then sifting through his cards to find the cost of rent.

“One hundred and fifty dollars,” he states, gaze shifting from the cardboard in his hand to meet yours. Eyes narrowed, you hand him the pretend cash, fingers lightly brushing his palm. While you grit your teeth at the touch of his skin, he seems unbothered by the transaction. You catch yourself glaring at the board for more reasons than one as Mikey snatches the dice to roll his turn.

As the game rolls on, you notice Raphael begins to grow heated in the battle against his competitors. You quickly remove yourself from the equation by not allowing your ego to be baited by his barbed comments that are thinly veiled as friendly smack talk. Eventually, the hot head doesn’t bother covering his remarks and outright goes for Donatello when he lands on the purple clad turtles’ property with three houses occupying the space.

“Five hundred and sixty dollars,” Donatello grins a rare, toothy smile and you find yourself almost dazzled by the rarity of the sight. He flashes another lopsided quirk of his lips when Raph groans, holding out his hand, “pay up!”

Meanwhile, the resident muscle looks as if he’s about to blow his top. At the sound of another snarl, everyone waits with baited breath in anticipation of his frustration. “You shouldn’t be allowed to play this shit, Don,” Raph snaps, slapping the money into his brothers’ hand.

“And why not?” Donnie shoots back, immediately sorting his new income into the according piles of his money.

“You’re basically a walkin’ computer,” Raph starts, his voice rough in which you initially assume to be frustration. However, when you see the red clad turtle shoot Mikey a mischievous glance, you begin to suspect foul play. “You got numbers, statistics and strategies up in that head and that’s all you know how to do. Playin’ with you is like playin’ against a bot, game might as well be rigged.”

You frown at the comments being made, then you realise that they’re simply being said to bait Donatello. The second the clever turtle bites, he will start to play irrationally, making bold and risky moves in order to both impress and thwart his competitors; that is when his brothers can move in to take the victory.

“What would you suggest I do, then?” Don says dryly, “Should I play blindfolded and plug my ears in order to give you a fighting chance?”

Raphael leans in and you watch the unnerving grin pull at his lips. “Nah,” he snickers, golden eyes appraising his brother in an unsaid challenge, “I want ya to play a little risky. Show me what you got, Don.”

The turtle in question quirks the ridge of his brow bone, shifting in his seat.

“Don’t bite, Donatello,” you mutter before he can retaliate. Though your voice is gentle, the table falls silent at the sound of it. You continue, “they’re trying to throw you off your game, it’s the only way they’ll win against you.”

His narrowed eyes watch you carefully, an inquisitive gleam in his usually neutral gaze. Donatello licks his lips, tilting his head fractionally with a softly spoken, “noted.”

Despite your exchange being brief, all occupants of the table remain quiet and motionless for a moment. You ignore the way Leonardo’s gaze constantly flickers between both Donnie and yourself, scrutinising eyes searching for something unnamed.

“Well, there goes any chance you had of winning the game too,” Raphael rolls his eyes, leaning back in his seat with a salty sneer.

“If I come first thanks to manipulation rather than skill then that’s not a win,” you snark, snatching the dice from their place before him. “Not that you’d know.”

His eyes widen and the sneer that twists his lips evolves into a mean grin, “oh, it’s on Short-Stack.”

The game continues (quite aimlessly) for another half hour, until, the leader sighs deeply and bids you and his brethren goodnight. You tip your head in his direction, brows furrowing as you catch the last glance he sends you before striding from the room.

When Mikey yawns, the jolting realisation of the hour hits you; time has flown and it’s much later than you anticipated. You don’t want to walk the streets of New York City alone in the dark but you also don’t want to burden the turtles to take you home. Raphael and Mikey’s patrol shift is not due for another couple of hours and you’re definitely not going to be able to stay awake until then.

“You can sleep here tonight,” Donatello murmurs, interrupting your spiralling thoughts. You glance up, taken aback by the gracious offer- coming from him, no less! His sight catches yours and he immediately glances away, resorting to reorganising his cards for the third time in a row. “I mean, only if you would like to. We can set you up on the couch; it’s much more comfortable than it sounds.”

You gape at him for a long moment, lingering on the way he stutters over his sudden uncertainty.

“Wow, Don,” Raph remarks dryly, reminding you of his presence. “First girl you invite over and you stick her with the couch.”

You briefly see Donatello’s eyes widen before Mikey croons disappointedly, “yeah, bro. That’s not how you treat a lady. You’re supposed to offer her your bed.”

The purple clad almost chokes on his saliva and your face is burning from both the audacity of the comments and your newfound embarrassment.

“No!” You splutter, catching the attention of all of those who sit at the table. You gather yourself before continuing, “No. It’s okay, the couch sounds great. Thanks, Donatello.”

The turtle in question exhales a little, as if allowing himself to breathe again. There’s a short silence as he regains his composure, his eyes flickering to meet yours with a gentle curiosity.

“You can call me Donnie,” he finally offers, standing to his feet quietly. “I’ll go get you what you need for the night.”

Watching his retreating figure, you assume that he’s talking about a pillow and perhaps a blanket.

“Damn, who knew you were such a killjoy! Let the nerd squirm a bit,” Raph chuckles, letting slip a groan as he stands to his feet. Your narrowed gaze follows his movements, unsure of whether he is being sarcastic or is simply an asshole. He eyes you intently from behind the red fabric of his bandanna, “Don’s real weird about ya so it’s fun to tease him over it- watch him suffer a bit for once since he’s good at most things.”

Just an asshole then.

You try not to dwell on what he means by that, but the connotations were unnerving.

“Don’t worry babe, we’re just having fun,” Mikey shrugs, though his attempt to reassure you has the opposite effect. You try a smile in response but you suspect that it looks more like a grimace, provoking an intense eye roll from Raphael. The temperamental turtle waves his hand at you both dismissively before making his exit, what you assume to be his version of ‘goodnight’.

The chatter that ensues fades into background noise as the remaining excitable turtle leads you to the couch. “Donnie will be back with your stuff, but,” Mikey trails off cheekily, “if you need anything my bedroom is always open.”

You roll your eyes and thank him dryly for the ‘offer’, you know for a fact that if you need anything you will be going straight to Leo’s room. At least the leader wouldn’t suggest that you should share a bed with him, which is what you'd guess to be Mikey’s first response.

The mischievous terrapin shrugs with playful indifference, “the offer stands!”

“Cut it out, Mikey,” a new voice calls from one of the tunnel entrances. Both yourself and the jokester turn to observe Donatello, eyeing the hilariously tall stack of pillows and blankets in his arms.

“Damn. What; is she meant to be making a fort with all that?” Mikey whistles. Turning to you, he adds, “if so, can I join?”

“Mikey!” Your voice is blurred against Donatello’s and Mikey throws his hands up as a sign of surrender.

“Alright, alright, no worries,” he rolls his eyes, “I’m going. Goodnight!”

You bid him good night, ignoring the subtle wink you receive as he turns and leaves the room.

“So, I have here a few things you might need to make your stay here more enjoyable,” Donatello says, setting down the pile of sleeping material onto the couch. You can’t help but snicker at his travel agent choice of wording. He spares you a quick glance at the sound but continues to talk. “So, I know it gets chilly in here at night, hence why I’ve brought four pillows and four blankets. They’re all a different fabric, so you can choose which one you’d prefer to be in direct contact with you and the rest you can organise to your liking.”

Your eyes widen slightly, four different fabrics? The turtle literally wanted nothing to do with you just a few hours ago, now he’s providing an array of blankets to maximise your comfort?

“Thanks, Donatello,” you say, visibly bewildered. He nods his head and places the materials onto the couch.

“I’ve also brought you a bottle of water,” he says, unlatching a clear bottle from where it was tucked on the side of his utility belt. He grips the case lightly in his hands and offers it to you. Staring at him for a long moment you slowly take it with a small nod.

You have so many questions simmering beneath your skin as you both shift around in uncomfortable silence. He doesn't seem to want to leave just yet and you're not sure as to whether you should sit down with him sill there.

"Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?" The words blurt from your mouth, each syllable following in quick succession of each other. You almost want to slap a hand over your lips at the rude inquiry, though you refrain if not only to maintain your dignity.

Donatello's gaze hardens slightly, but not out of offence. He gets your confusion; he knows that his behaviour would seem odd to you and he doesn't expect you to understand the trip. Possibly because he doesn't quite know what triggered it himself.

He just simply wasn't expecting such a blunt question.

You almost regret opening your mouth when the silence stretches and you can't help but feel like a bug being observed beneath a scrutinizing golden lense. It's only when his expression softens and he scratches the back of his do you allow yourself to breathe, unsure of why you were so anxious to begin with.

"I realised that I had severely misjudged you. I'm trying to make up for it," Donatello mutters, a timidness to his voice that you have never witnessed previously within him.

Despite his words you can't help the indignation that claws at your chest, eventually climbing out of your mouth and into the air, "you never even gave me a chance.”

The turtle’s mouth closes softly, his silence encouraging you to continue, “You took one look at me and wrote me off completely.”

“I know,” he stammers, “I know I was wrong.”

“Then why?” You question with furrowed brows. What was it about you that repelled him so much? It was the million dollar question.

“I just,” he just about squeaked, casting his gaze downwards. You’d have thought it impossible for someone his size to seem small; yet, Donatello seemed to be shrinking into himself further by the second. “I didn’t know what to expect after my... ‘experiences’ with April; I just figured it would be logical to avoid you to prevent any future problems.”

You stare at him for a long moment, unable to form a coherent response. You had no idea as to what April and Donnie’s history entailed, you find that you almost don’t want to know. It’s clear that the reporter unknowingly had a detrimental effect on the turtle’s life. “What happened?” You find yourself whispering.

He shakes his head, “I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore. What matters is that I had wrongly assumed you to be the same.” Finally he pulls his gaze from the ground to meet yours,.“I’m sorry,” he says quietly.

You nod your head, a strange feeling swelling in your chest. With a small smile you say, “no harm done.”

He shrugs, knowing that your words were a lie. He scuffs a crescent moon shape into the ground with his foot, unsure of how to appropriately change the topic.

You stick your hand out suddenly, watching as he flinches slightly from the energetic movement. He looks up at you, bewildered and confused.

“Let’s start again,” you grin. You state your full name as if meeting him for the first time and gesture towards the outstretched hand. He hesitantly takes it, a goofy smile quirking at the sides of his lips.

“Donatello,” he states, releasing a breathy sound of amusement border-lining a giggle as the entire mood shifts for the better. “It’s nice to meet you!”

You return the sentiment with mirth, buzzed with the opportunity of a clean slate and a prosperous new friendship.

#TMNT #TMNT Donatello #Donatello Hamato #TMNT Donnie #Donatello x Reader #TMNT Donatello x Reader #TMNT Donnie x reader #tmnt 2016 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2007 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt imagines #tmnt imagine

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chickenscript · 6 years

Text

or rottmnt venting & comfort headcannons

A/N: *i think i’m better when i’m with you.

i kept reading tmnt fics the other day and they were all angsty and inspiring- so yeah uwu and i won't lie, kind of had the 2k12 turts in mind because let's be honest, they were way more angsty than this bunch

Donnie:

- everyone’s bound to make mistakes.

- donnie just takes them really harshly.

- you think it's because he's not good at expressing and dealing with emotions. he's told you before that feeling was hard for him. repressing that though, he was good at, especially the ones he didn't understand. (him not understanding something would never not be strange to you)

- you insist he swing by after mike tells you the project he was intensely working on for the past three weeks, went up in flames. you know exactly what state of mind don must be in from the blow. you’ve had a year to learn that he really doesn’t like failure on his part.

- he’s more inward and brisk when he climbs through your apartment window. it's unlike him to just come in without a casual greeting you like he usually did. ("Hello there, milday." was an example.)

- you bring him to the kitchen and brew some tea. a flavor your uncle got you for Christmas because you were a fanatic of the hot drink ever since Splinter introduced you to the vast and colorful world of flavorful tea leaves.

- he doesn’t say anything the whole time and doesn’t drink the cup you pour for him. just clutches the hot mug and stares into its dark contents.

- sitting next to him, shoulder to shoulder, you could practically feel his welled up anger buffering off of him like radiation.

- you shudder.

- you're cautious as you broach the topic of his project.

- he huffs and puffs about how he messed up so stupidly, dumbly. he should have been able to avoid the mistake he made, but all he did was score himself a botched product and wreck some of the sensitive machinery that took him months to find and reconfigure for proper use.

- salvaging scrap he could use to recreate sophisticated lab tech from junkyards was ridiculously hard. so he threw himself back by months when his project went boom.

- he’s so angry at himself and angry about how he feels. and by the end of his venting, he’s white knuckled.

- you’re afraid the mug in his hands might shatter.

- you tap the handle of yours and remind him that everyone makes mistakes.

- he hisses and snaps that he wasn’t allowed to. his eyes looking more red than brown.

- he was supposed to be the guy everyone could look to for a job properly done, or just the right advice or the right gadget to fix their problems. instead, he was a walking disaster zone who was barely capable of making something that didn’t explode the first time around.

- you know he just held high standards for himself and feared messing something up one day could cost someone their life. it was why he was so reluctant to let you have that mystic scythe he found in the underground city (the only reason he nabbed it was to see if he could extract its magical properties, but you swayed him into forking it over).

- but, he was more than that.

- sure he was the brains out of the bunch, but he was entitled to doing something wrong every now and again. it was how new discoveries and triumphs were made.

- you tell him his mind is beautiful, and that he needed to calm down and remember who he was at the end of the day. he could figure this out. he could rebuild what he lost, but he can’t do anything if he doesn’t let this anger at himself wash away.

- he needed to get past this.

- “I apologize.” he says quietly and finally sips his tea. he’s trembling, but his normal demeanor is back. just a little shaken up.

- he really didn’t mean to act the way he did.

- he rests his head on your shoulder, humming lowly, and you take one of his shaky hands.

- you drink some tea too.

- it was okay. you could take whatever was thrown at you; whether it was really meant or not.

- you had thick skin.

Leo:

- he is livid.

- raph had acted bullheaded and rash at tonight's mission- all the things that didn’t make a leader.

- he put his team, his brothers, in jeopardy. he didn't fully comprehend how their well being was in his hands. leo lists all the unsavory traits he kept cooped up before arriving at your house - he started ranting the moment he set foot through your window - as he paces your living room and you watch from the couch.

- worried at how his every word seemed to wrack his chest and whole body like a roar.

- he lets it all out. all the rage and fury, and it makes him literally sick. he dashes into the kitchen and throws up whatever's in him into the empty sink.

- you’re by his side in a split second, patting his shell and offering soothing words. you both clean up the mess that’s left behind and by the end of his episode, he’s clinging to you on the couch, broken down. he’s shaking and whimpers that he just wants all his brothers to be safe. he wanted them to do their best. be their best. especially raph.

- he hoarsely admits that he could never tell raph that splinter wanted him to be the leader. it would break his brother’s heart. the older turtle always dreamed of being the one they could all look up to for anything. leo couldn’t be the one to ruin that for his older brother.

- you nod along and rub the back of his neck.

- he feels so guilty, so horrible for keeping such a horrible secret. it made his heart so heavy.

- you remind him that he’s just trying to protect his brother.

- he hiccups and touches your hair. his red stripes look dull from all his duress and his navy eyes are exhausted. so is his body that was still in pain from earlier.

- his eyelids shutter.

- he felt like he was just protecting himself, he speaks much softer than you've ever heard him.

- no, you chide, you were pretty sure you were right. who else would let their brother lead a kickass ninja team if they were chosen to?

- he laughs hoarsely and it’s all you need to know you were doing something right here.

Mikey:

- he’s crying.

- like, the floodgates are wide open and you have to hold up most of his weight when he runs into your arms.

- he met you just outside the lair at the end of a pipeline that backed into an abandoned lot in the rain that was coming down so hard, you’re pretty sure it’s in your galoshes and seeping under your rain coat. you could barely make out the shape of him in the downpour until he’s about a foot in front of your face.

- he’s sobbing about how he can’t keep everyone together, or happy or do anything right.

- he was ignorant. too oblivious and busy day dreaming. useless. unneeded and unwanted. just the younger sibling everyone’s got to protect and scold, and correct with no real place among his brothers except as a burden.

- you squeeze him at the very admission, feeling like you might cry too.

- he wasn’t. he. never. would. be.

- he was mikey; he was sunshine. he was wholesome laughs, and warm hugs and kind eyes, and understanding, and fun, and how much it was okay to be a fuck up sometimes. how much it was okay to celebrate little victories and break tension with goofs- he was mikey. he was a work of art like all the ones he’s ever made.

- he’s crying for a whole new reason now.

- how were you so nice? he wasn’t even human- he was some sewer freak!

- you shake your head and ask him right back. you were just a normal, nothing-special human.

- you stand in the rain, holding each other and he pulls back after long enough that your fingertips are starting to prune and you’re half sure you’ll have a cold later.

- still holding your hands, he looks at you and you look back from under your hood. he’s got tears and rain dripping down his face. you can’t make sense of the two, but his eyes are so beautifully milky blue in the foggy sunlight.

- he thinks everything will be okay.

- he wipes a tear from your eye with a warm tenderness and you chuckle.

- you were supposed to be saying that to him.

Raph:

- he blew it.

- he was no leader. just some idiot who thought he could pull the title off with some bravado and beginner’s luck. and he knew it, and his brothers did, everyone did. they just didn’t say it to his face.

- he’s quaking under all the pressure inside his chest and snorting out breaths through his snout.

- you touch his hulking forearm.

- you only knew that he was great at listening to his brothers. great at taking opinions, advice and acknowledging them and their emotions. and never once ignoring someone or how they feel- he did the opposite; he encouraged them. he may be a body with boulders for shoulders, but he had a core of something entirely different.

- he cares. he cares so much that it hurts him and could one day kill him. wasn’t that part of being a leader?

- he looks at your so very small hand with tender brown eyes much lighter than don’s, and sniffles, tears running down his face.

- you really think so? you think he’s all that? his lower lip quivers.

- you nod and smile at your wonderful friend. the one with a heart as big and open as his youngest brother.

- you wouldn’t have said it otherwise.

- he sweeps you off your feet and into a hug that has you sitting on one of his forearms.

- how’d he get a friend like you?

- how’d you get a friend like him?

- you share a laugh and you perch on his shoulder, petting his head as he wipes his eyes.

- yeah...how did you?

*you nothing-special human, you

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joyofcrime-elinorhigh · 6 years

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Powerpuff Grils 2016 REVIEW: Part 1

So for those who are somehow unaware, the Powerpuff Girls has recently gotten a new rebooted series that premiered on Cartoon Network on April 4th 2016. People's opinions have been varied on the series, some people say it's worse that Hitler, while other people are saying that it's worse than the illegitimate lovechild of Hitler and some kind of eviler Super-Hitler. Okay, before you kill I'm obviously joking, but yeah people really REALLY hate this reboot! People are comparing it to Teen Titans Go! While I agree with some of the criticism made I feel people are being a bit...harsh on the reboot. And if you don't like the series I get it. I understand why people wouldn't like this show, it has serious problems. I'm not going to call you hater or anything if you don't like this show. I just want to give my opinion because everybody seems to have unanimously decided that this show is bad and somebody has to have the unpopular opinion. If nobody does then the majority opinion will be seen as fact, and I believe that there is always pros and cons to any piece of art. All I ask is that you don't hate me to much for having this opinion. I'll respect you and you respect me, and if you have some thoughts about the reboot leave it in the comments bellow, I would love to have a civil discussion about it. Also I will be breaking this review up into multiple parts because have a lot I want to talk about. And if you don't want to read something this long that's fine, but if you like deep analyses about a cartoon for children and watching some idiot try to be insightful and funny than strap on in and get ready, this is my Review of the 2016 Powerpuff Girls Reboot. Point One: The Talent Behind the Show. It must suck to be Craig McCracken. According to the man himself Cartoon Network did approach him to be in charge of the reboot but he declined because of him contract with Disney. Than Wander Over Yonder ends and he's out of a job and has to watch commercials for the new Powerpuff Girls show, that could of been his new job but he said no. This isn't even I joke I kind of feel bad for him. Anyway on to the point, a lot of people where angry that Craig McCracken is not in charge of the reboot, saying that without the original creator of the show the series cannot be good, as the 98' series dropped in quality according to most fans after he left the show after season four to work on Foster's. I understand this argument but I disagree with it. This show is a reboot. Now everyone has a different internal definition of what is and isn't a reboot, but to me a reboot is when you take the same characters but set the story in a new universe, while changing the details of the show to fit a new tone or style. In my opinion getting Craig McCracken back to remake his own show doesn't make much sense because he most likely wouldn't make the show that different form the 98' series. Craig McCracken may have created the girls but personally I would mind seeing some new talented artist put there own spin on the property. Powerpuff Girls has always been a franchise, remember Powerpuff Girls Z? People are getting so mad at this reboot and it's not even the only reboot. People seem to only care about who isn't working on the show in stead of focusing on who is. This show has some good people being it, such as Bob Boyle who worked on "Clarance" and created "Wow Wow Wubzy", Nick Jenning's who was an art director on "Adventure Time", and painted many of the title cards, and Julia Vickman the creator of the popular pilot "12 Forever." While Craig McCracken has criticized the show for not getting the original voice cast back, and criticized a few bad looking shots he has given this show his blessing, at least according to voice of the Mayor himself, Tom Kenny. I mean it's possible Tom Kenny was lying and Craig McCracken doesn't approve of the show but I see no reason to assume this. And speaking of the voice cast... Point Two: The Voice Cast. I'm going to be honest, I'm a little disappointed in the choice of voice cast, but not necessarily for the reasons you might think. I think they should of changed more. I was hoping for a fresh, new interpretation of the characters of the Powerpuff Girls universe, but in stead we're just getting the same voices we already got for six seasons. And if you wanted the old actors back that's fine, I understand why. The old show had an all star cast of great voice actors but for me and what I was looking for I was a little let down. What I kind of don't get though is why everybody is mad at the new voice actors when there are only a few new voices and 90% of the cast are people from the original series, but whatever. I don't mind the new voices for the girls honestly, I mean there not great but I wouldn't call them bad. Kristen Li is probably my favorite of the new voice actress, as she just has a really cute voice. Though I will admit she can't really yell very well in the Bubbles voice, which makes things kind of awkward when things are suppose to be intense or if she's suppose to be angry. Haley Mancini is a lot less whiny in her version of Princess, whether or not that's a plus or not is up to you. Jennifer Hale is now Miss Bellum and she seems about the same as Jennifer Martin, at least to me. There's a lot controversy over the original actresses for the girls not being called back to reprise there roles. While I find weird that everybody except them was called back I just don't feel like this is a big issue. They've talked about how there mad that they weren't even offered there old roles back but why should they automatically get first dibs? Just because they voiced them in the old show? They don't own the characters, and on the matter of Bubbles Tara Strong wasn't even the ORIGINAL voice, Kath Soucie was (She voiced Bubbles in the pilot, technically making her the ORIGINAL voice.) I mean just because an old cast member is still willing to reprise a role doesn't mean they always get it, and they way they seemed so angry about it on social media just seems weird to me. I mean it's not like when Ben Affleck was announced to voice Batman in "Batman v Superman" Christian Bale went on twitter was all like "Well, I didn't order a stab in the heart today!" It would be like if in the upcoming "Justice League Action" people where angry that they didn't get Adam West back to voice Batman. I mean he was the original voice of animated Batman and he still does voice acting. I don't want to be mean to these actors, as they did pretty much voice my childhood, I just really don't understand why these actors seemed to think they deserved first dibs on this show. If you wanted the old cast back I'm not bashing you at all, I would never do that. They are great voice actors, I just feel like this whole controversy was handled very unprofessionally (But what the heck do I know?) Point Three: The Animation. I want to make it clear here that I'm not going to just blindly praise everything in this show. If I did that I would lose all my credibility as a critic and I've only had that credibility for four paragraphs so far. Anyway back on point I think the animation has it's advantages and it's disadvantages. The colors are really bright and the girls are particular in this version which makes things even brighter. This is actually a flaw to the show, at least for me, because it can often come off as to bright. That being said scene at night or with special lighting makes things look really awesome! The dark colors contrast the bright colors and looks really good. It feels like the writers knows this because a lot of episodes seem to take place at night, or in the rain, or with some kind of special lighting, so they do work to there strengths. Now that being said that doesn't mean the animation is always good. If you look online you will see a lot of awkward shots of off model animation or janked up perspectives. I don't mind this two much as there usually on screen for less than a second but technically speaking it's not very good,. Granted a lot of shows have animation errors, but this series seems to have a lot more than other shows Cartoon Network out there. My theory is that it's because it's a lot of modern animators with 90's character designs and they don't know how to draw in that style as well as they would a modern style. There's also one scene where they use a live action stock photo as a background and while that is bad, especially sense it wasn't even treated like a joke it was only one joke and it was in a dream scene where things are suppose to look off. It's not like in Teen Titans Go! Where they use stock photos as backgrounds all the time, so I don't feel like it's anything to get that worked up about. The designs of the characters are pretty much the same as the old show except more circular. Bubbles has scrunches now, which I like because now there's an actual reason on why and how Bubbles has her pigtails. Buttercup has a cow lick and Blossoms bow is bigger, but those differences are so small I'm not even sure if there worth talking about in detail. I like the changes, again I wish they altered the designs more, especially with the villains. I mean look how different the characters look in each TMNT or Batman incarnation. Now the biggest problem with the animation is that for some reason the animation is really slow. I don't get why as the theme song music video has some of the most fluid animation I've ever seen in a Cartoon Network series. This slow animation really hinders the action sequences and I really hope this improves in later episodes. I mean some fight scene look good but it could definitely use some work. The impact of the punches just don't feel like they have the same amount of weight as they should and it makes the girls feel a lot less strong than in the old show. Granted this show focuses on the fight scenes a lot less than in the old series but I still think it's a pretty big problem. And that is part one of my multi-part Powerpuff Girl reboot series review. I know I haven't really talked much about the show yet but other people have been talking about these points for months and I just wanted to give my opinions on what other people have been saying. If you disagree with my point that's fine, I'm not try to convince people to agree with me, I just want to show a new view point, and show that not everyone has to like or hate something for the same reasons. I hope that even if you disagree with me you still found this review entertaining. What do you think of the new reboot? I would love to know in the comments (as long as we can keep it civil.) Part two should be up soon, where I'll talk about the show proper. Please Fav, follow and comment if you liked this review and tell me if you would want me to do more of these. Since I can do this all on my tablet it would not effect Elinor High or Joy of Crime in anyway as of right now. And if you like things like this maybe check out some episodes of my Cartoon Thought series (sorry if I may have repeated some things from my Reboot Cartoon Thought and my PPG Cartoon Thought, but I feel it was kind of inevitable.

DA Link: https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/Powerpuff-Girls-2016-REVIEW-Part-1-602969689

#powerpuff girls #powerpuff girls 2016 #cartoon network #Cartoon Reviews #reboots

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