#I mean like it’s already in the original post-

[kathaynesart]

And here we go. For the full experience I would recommend reading while listening to THIS SONG. It inspired a vast majority of the scene as well as the timing, though I fear you'd have to read pretty fast to get to the ending at the same time as the song ends, so uh... good luck! Trigger warnings below:

The Day the Sky Bled Red

BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT (SOON) MASTER POST

Whew. I'm so glad to finally be done with these big updates. After over a year I will finally be able to return to my smaller update format.

Some keen viewers might notice the reuse of certain shots from the series. There is very much intentional, though the reason for this will not be made clear until the ending of the arc.

As of the final shot we are FINALLY back to present-day in the Replica timeline (if it wasn't obvious). I'd drop in a timeline for reference but uh... I maxed out on the Tumblr images. Oh well. Hopefully the context clues were enough to help though!

I do want to take a moment to TED Talk about Raph's ninpo, if that's alright. Unlike his brothers, Raph didn't really spend much time trying to come up with unique ways of using his abilities. Why improve what already worked for him? However, I do think one interesting ability could have come naturally to him over time. I always found his way of mentally connecting with his brothers as "Mind Raph" to be a fascinating joke in the series. They way he could help and communicate with his brothers is something that was always really important to him and I see that ability bleeding into his ninpo. Because of this I feel that his Raph clones were always able to find and reach his brothers no matter the distance. His ability to interact with them at the same time was something he was still learning in the series, like when Mind Raph apologized to Leo for taking a moment too long to respond because he was busy helping someone else. Because of this I see his clones being able to react and communicate independently (kind of like Naruto clones), but are in constant connection to the original source, Raph himself. This made it really easy for Raph to relay information to the brothers, though it was seldom needed since Donnie's ninpo tech normally had that covered. On another note, I also wanted to make a point that whenever one of the brothers died in the bad future timeline, it was when they were separated from their brothers. I always liked in the movie how it wasn't until the brothers worked together that they were able to regain their abilities, confront the Krang, and even open portals to different dimensions. I wanted that lesson to resonate in Replica as well, even if subtly. Anyways, thanks for coming to my TED Talk!

The rest of the arc will be a lot less action, but still plenty more emotions. I can't promise that we won't be doing more flashbacks in the future but nothing to the extent of the "Holiday Special." We got a story to get through after all!

Thank you so much everyone for your patience with me as I slowly inch my way through this big story. It means a lot to me! I promise the next update will not be so emotionally draining.

[rafesweetie]

. ۫ ꣑ৎ . drew starkey and the sweetie who interviewed him

you’re nothing — that’s what you always tell yourself, anyway. you’re a journalist at a small magazine company, all potential and questions wasted because you’re relatively shy and big names like vogue tend to hire the louder workers.

it was a shock to you when your editor landed you an interview spot at TIFF. she believed in you, wanted to give you an opportunity to chat with some big names.

walking into the room where the stars would be interviewed by all the big names, you’re accompanied by one photographer who brought his camera to film the interviews. your pink heels click on the ground as you walk, and you feel severly underdressed in a black mini slip dress, with your hair down.

you’re handed the less popular movie stars to interview, but you’re nervous nonetheless. face going red when you stumble during a long question (even if they’re extremely intellectual), and fiddling with your nails while you listen.

you’re assuming everyone you interview is lesser known, based on the pattern occuring, until a very familiar figure walks over. right, you almost forgot you had to interview him.

now, it’s not like you knew him personally. you were both from north carolina and you have a two mutuals on instagram, but you and him weren’t friends. the only reason you know him is because you’d be living under a rock if you didn’t — drew starkey.

you can’t help the way you’re shaking a bit, flustered, nervous, and excited all at once.

“hi, y/n l/n,” you greet, then tell him what magazine you’re from. you shake his hand.

“drew starkey,” his voice is deep and makes you shiver. you’d heard from almost everyone how captivating he is, and now you believe it.

“it’s nice to meet you,” you say gently. his baby blues haven’t left yours yet. “i just watched ‘queer’ last night, drew, it was amazing,” you tell him, easing your way into the interview. “what was it like filming around the world? have you ever done that before?”

“uh, yeah, i have,” he nods. “i went to vancouver to film ‘the other zoey’, i think, and i went to serbia for ‘hellraiser.’ but i mean, i feel like for ‘queer’, it was more of an experience. we filmed everywhere, multiple continents, it was kind of crazy. and i mean, i’m a country boy, north carolina, so experiencing cultures outside of traditional america will always wow me,” he explains. “where are you from?”

you smile when he flips it on you because he’s very polite. “i live in north carolina too.” you tell him.

“no shit,” he smiles. “what part?”

“charlotte. i mean, i’m not orignally from there, but it’s where i live now so…” you shrug.

“where are you originally from?”

“this isn’t my interview, mr. starkey,” you smile at him. he chuckles. “can i ask another question please?”

“yes ma’am,” he relents, and you giggle. his smile grows when you giggle — his eyes haven’t left you.

you ask a couple more questions, and eventually he has to leave to go talk to another journalist. but he grabs your hand again and squeezes it, intense eye contact as he says it was nice to meet you, and to have a nice night. you’re already in a trance, even though you try to convince yourself that he was just being polite. he’s polite to everyone.

when he leaves, you can’t help but turn to the photographer with a smile on your face and your jaw dropped, simply because that was the biggest name you’ve ever spoken to. you’re unaware he never stopped the video.

────୨ৎ────

the morning after, when reporters are posting their interviews everywhere, you can’t go three scrolls on tiktok without drew’s face at TIFF appearing. you’re half-asleep, until it clicks that every interview you’ve seen has been specifically your interview with him. captioned with, ‘how to be this interviewer???’ or ‘the way he looks at her?’ or ‘someone tell her hes taken by me already’, or even ‘he looks a little young for her?’ you’ve gone viral. everyone believes that the drew starkey is into you.

you’re down a rabbit hole. the slo mo videos on him glancing at your lips, then licking his own, the way he squeezed your hand, you and him both giggling. you can’t deny how it might look either.

you go onto drew’s instagram. he doesn’t follow you, and you’re a bit nervous to initiate. so you close your eyes, bracing yourself, before hitting follow. an hour later, he follows you back. you open the app — one new message.

[Drew Starkey] : Hey it’s the cute interviewer from yesterday! How are you?

you could’ve sworn that your lungs gave out right there.

[voyaging-too]

This addition is great, you're right. It's important to remember that the retreat in question is acknowledged to be tactically useful, and that the Denethor of the books, for all his flaws, is wiser and more restrained than the Denethor of the movies.

What makes Faramir's return so horrible is that he has to do it twice. When he first rides back to Minas Tirith, with only a small company, the Nazgul attack, and his own bravery and determination wouldn't be enough to save him if Gandalf didn't show up. We are told, textually, that Faramir is severely fucked up by this episode: he "has been assailed by a great fear or anguish, but has mastered it and now is quiet." That's Tolkien-speak for "screaming internally." He's exhausted, his spirit is spent already, he's holding himself together at a cost. And then he is sent out to halt the enemy's advance over the same field, still harassed by Nazgul, knowing already how bad it's going to be.

Yes, the decision to send Faramir out with the men on a slow retreat is tactically sound, it slows down the Enemy, but not as much as hoped: Sauron had planned out the river crossing, he had a whole bunch of barges ready, his forces were across the very next day, they have "paid dearly for the crossing, but less dearly than we hoped." Which means that his retreat is, in some ways, the opposite of what I associated with it in my original post: instead of abandoning land to save people, Faramir is forced to spend people, not even to gain or keep land, but to lose it slower.

(Also book!Denethor is not a slavering douchebag like he's in the movies, but he still blames Faramir for not taking a ring, still overtly says he wishes Faramir had died in Boromir's place, and still sends him out on a definitely dangerous, potentially suicidal mission with very little love. He's not saying that this is mission is necessary to save Minas Tirith, and that he trusts Faramir's skills as a captain to pull such a horrendously difficult thing off. He's saying that Boromir would have done it better, and implies that if Faramir hesitates to go out, he "lacks the courage to do his lord's will." Rancid parenting. His grief over having had to "spend his son" comes way later, when Faramir's already unconscious and there's no risk of him hearing it.)

It's a cliché to say that Tolkien's experiences in WWI affected all aspects of his writing, how he wrote about friendship and grief, how he wrote about desolate blasted landscapes. But I wish someone who knows more about Tolkien's military career could help me understand how Tolkien related to retreats. His description of Faramir keeping his people together on the retreat from Osgiliath is one of the best-written sequences in the trilogy, and hardly anyone remembers it. It's about a desperate retreat, and a leader whose presence, whose strength manages to keep it from turning into a rout. There's something very vivid in the descriptions: don't break formation, don't start running or they'll pick you off one by one, keep together, keep moving, hold all of that fear at bay. Tolkien describes that retreat as genuinely heroic, a superhuman act of will, one that exhausts Faramir almost to death, and Denethor still does not accept it as heroic because it's a retreat. It saved men but it lost territory, therefore in his eyes it's a failure.

Tolkien has strong opinions about heroic retreats, in the Silmarillion he sometimes gives the retreat-through-the-dangerous-wilderness plotline to female characters (Emeldir, Idril), he always writes them with respect. Sometimes, getting out of there and keeping most of your people alive is a great act of valour. I feel like he must have had a personal experience about what it means to retreat, and what it means to hold a retreat together, and what it means to get no thanks for it.

[draconym]

Thank you for the post about your parrot combining words to refer to specific foods! I always love reading stories about things they say, so so fascinating. Do you have any other examples of combined words or maybe just an interesting anecdote about bird language for someone who’s never looked at your blog before?

Oh, sure. I first read about Lexical Elision in The Alex Studies, and later Alex and Me, about Dr. Pepperberg's "Avian Language EXperiment." Alex famously described apples as "banerry" (banana + cherry) when he first encountered them, possibly because they were pale inside like a banana, but round and red like a cherry--both of which words he already knew.

I guess the thing that's hard about this question is that I have normalized so many things about living with a talking parrot that I think are, for the average person, deeply abnormal. Every morning when I come downstairs he requests various foods from me (most days it's carrot, peanut, berry) and then lobbies for me to let him out by saying "Ripley wanna come out" in various different intonations. When he sees me linger by the door or put on a jacket, he says "bye," often adding, "see you later."

A lot of people think that parrots memorize phrases atomically, as in, if you teach a parrot to say "Polly wanna cracker," it may understand that making those sounds in that order results in a cracker, but it will not mean that a bird understands that its name is "Polly," that it "wanna" something, and that "cracker" is the desired food.

To an extent, this is true. If you teach a parrot a phrase in a vacuum it will never be able to deconstruct it. But most captive parrots capable of language and mimicry are exposed to the daily conversation of the humans around them, and are also inherently prone to making word salad out of whatever they hear. This is fun for them. So Polly will probably eventually learn that Polly is their name, that "wanna" can precede many different desirable things, and that "cracker" is the most important part of that sentence and the most efficient way to demand it.

Ripley loves making new sentences. He says silly sounding things all the time like "Ripley wanna chair" or "gonna watch kitchen" because he enjoys playing with words like Legos. But my favorite Ripleyism is when he says "you're so (random word)." Originally this was "you're so silly" or "you're so nice," which we do say to him pretty often. His favorite compliment is "you're so bird."

I recommend my Ripley Parrot tag if you're interested in Ripley Stories. I also highly recommend reading stories about parrots over living with a parrot.

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

no fear. what if there is a song in Portuguese on the Fitzjames davechella playlist. one fear.

[utilitycaster]

I've seen some people compare Vax's resurrection in C3 to bringing back Molly (later revealed to be Kingsley) in C2E140. How do you think these two scenarios differ and why does one work and the other doesn't? Also, do you think C2 scenario would still work if Taliesin played it like it was in fact Molly that was brought back (as Mighty Nein originally believed) and not Kingsley?

Hi anon,

I mean, you kind of answer it here: Molly wasn't resurrected. Kingsley, a different aspect of the same fragmented soul within that body, was. This isn't bringing back someone who died; it's starting a new life from what was left. It's thematically coherent with the rest of the Nein's stories, both in terms of many of them coming together still getting over a devastating loss or change and becoming someone new in the ashes of that; and with the very specific endings of many of their stories: probably most obviously with Caleb, choosing to leave his parents to their rest and instead building his own life in the model of what he wanted before the Volstrucker training, but also with Beau embracing the Cobalt Soul, Yasha finding new love, Veth and her family restarting their lives in Nicodranas, Jester with a deeply altered but intact relationship with Artagan, Fjord with a new patron, and Caduceus with a renewed grove.

I admit in 2x140 I cheered that nat 1 on resurrection, and the success of the Divine Intervention gave me pause, particularly on the heels of such a fantastic moment between Essek and Fjord after it failed. I went into 2x141 with considerable trepidation, so Taliesin's choice to have Molly remain dead while still making the Divine Intervention mean something was an unexpected joy and some truly excellent storytelling. I do not think it would have worked well had he brought back Molly, though it wouldn't have been quite as egregious as Vax coming back, and I'll talk more about that at the end.

Vax coming back fails on every single level. On a basic level, there is really no mechanical or logical justification for it to happen. There is no attempt from Vox Machina to bring him back as a mortal. There is no reason for him to revert from celestial to mortal (and the fact that he'd already left at the top of the episode really underscores this; I'd still have my other complaints had he still been with Vox Machina at the time of Catatheosis but this really makes no sense); angels of the gods canonically remained such during the first time the gods became mortal. It is not something he asked for, nor Keyleth asked of the Matron. It simply occurs. Then, of course, there is what it means for the characters. What does it say that Keyleth never moved on? What does it say that Vax never gave her the space to do so and now she doesn't have to - particularly in the statements during 4SD that their actions both were somewhat unhealthy and that Vax's inability to let go is what enabled Ludinus's plan to succeed in the first place? What does it say, as this post points out, about Scanlan's choices?

And then there's what it says thematically across the entire decade of storytelling: What does it say about such stories as Orym's or Yasha's, about finding new love after loss? In a narrative where the party was faced with an incredibly difficult choice with far reaching effects (whether or not that narrative was well done, it was a story of choices) what does it say that Vax's conscious choice to become a revenant and have a few more days with the people he loved rather than remain dead was ultimately simply a long inconvenience?

And finally, what does it say about the casts' past statements? I was struck with the grace with which the cast handled the backlash from Molly's death. Liam spoke of the meaning of death in narratives; Ashly Burch shared an incredibly moving essay on the death of her partner at a young age; and the conversation on Talks in which Matt talked about the importance of death was one that at the time I dearly loved. In it, Taliesin pointed out the ephemeral and physical nature of Molly and the concept of that character, and how there was no way to bring back Molly without destroying the entire premise. The reason Molly wouldn't be as much of a failure is because at least it would have been driven by the actions and choices of the Mighty Nein, and that we did not have insight into how Molly felt about his demise.

Because that is the other thing. We've seen Vax multiple times since his death, at Vex and Percy's wedding and at the Malleus Key, and both times he was greatly changed and did not agree to stay. He didn't change his mind; it was changed for him. And in the casts' past statements, Liam has been an advocate (as he was in Molly's death) for the importance of death and tragedy. How does that square with all of what they said then?

It's damning that the only defenses of this decision have been entirely Doylist (when I have both Watsonian and Doylist critiques) - that Happy Endings Are Good. The thing is, Keyleth's story could have been a happy ending, as the Mighty Nein's was despite their loss. It was a choice to have Keyleth never get over it. That is, ultimately, the only choice that was honored. I do understand a desire for a happy ending, but I find this desire for not just a happy ending but a vanishingly narrow and particular one to be childish, self-indulgent, and destabilizing of previous storytelling integrity. The song Tokyo Sunrise always was in a major key, after all.

One thing that came to mind while I wrote this up was something a few people have pointed out about Dragon Age: The Veilguard, which is that it consistently has a message that prioritizing immediate catharsis often feels hollow in the end, and cuts off opportunities for growth and redemption, and the gameplay is consistent with that narrative. It can feel good to punch the First Warden, or to leave the mayor of D'Meta's Crossing to his fate, or imprison Illario, in the moment; but these all ultimately serve as a detriment to your goals. Even fighting or tricking Solas rather than giving him an ending on his own terms, the last choice you can make in a game that ends immediately after, is something many players have reported as feeling unrewarding after a day or two. I do wonder whether this decision, to bring back Vax, felt good in the moment, but will similarly sour and curdle in time.

[sylvia-und-sybille]

💯 [100] How many words does your WIP currently have? How many words do you hope it’ll have when it’s done? 639 words :(

⌛️ [Hourglass] How long have you been working on this WIP? 10 days.

📚 [Books] Is this WIP part of a series or standalone? Standalone.

🎀 [Bow] How many named characters are in this WIP? How many do get a POV? OTP, 2nd character's son (briefly), a man related to a public event (briefly.)

💖 [Heart] What is your favorite moment in this WIP? How well age-gap couple was received by a man related to a public event. ("Your relationship is precious. Keep up supporting each other."

🎶 [Notes] Do you have any other WIP related things, like moodboards, character portraits, playlists or similar? It can happen in 0.001% of cases (if, then fanfictions only.)

📖 [Open Book] What form do you want this WIP to take when it’s done? Posted, printed, published, etc? Posted only.

🐀 [Rat] Name three reasons why this WIP is great at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.) Romance as it's about a lot of love (as in every fanfiction about them.)

🐁[Mouse] Name three reasons why this WIP is horrible at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.) Humour. Unfortunately, no funny moments.

🔎 [Magnifier] Is there a phrase/word you know you use too often? Will you change it in editing? Unfortunately, I use the same phrases from other fanfictions | original stories. When there's nothing better, I keep it as is.

🍖 [Meat] How many fictional people were harmed in the making of this WIP? EVERY SINGLE of my fanfictions & original stories has happy end (unless past when I wanted to write about harm done to or defeat of a bad or unpleasant character.) Zero harm in this case.

🌈 [Rainbow] If at the beginning of your WIP the characters knew about the end, would they kill you to stop you from writing it? No. Zero drama, uncomfortable moments etc.

‍🎨 [Palette] If your WIP was a color, which color would it be? Rainbow, as they deserve.

🍩 [Donut] What’s the weirdest thing someone eats in your WIP? What’s the best thing? No food or drinks are mentioned.

🔒 [Lock] Would you let your family, friends, or other people you know in real life read your WIP? No, and I almost don't know people in real life. Yes, I'm so called "live under a rock."

🖋️ [Pen] Describe your WIP in a single, terrible sentence. A couple is forced to kids publicly, but they don't object.

❌ [Cross] What would your WIP get cancelled on Twitter for? Two women with 20± years age gap (younger one is 18,) and they're a couple already, which can and DOES mean they had got together when the younger one was below 18.🥰 Go to Hell, haters.

Random WIP Ask Game

💯 [100] How many words does your WIP currently have? How many words do you hope it'll have when it's done?

⌛️ [Hourglass] How long have you been working on this WIP?

📚 [Books] Is this WIP part of a series or standalone?

🎀 [Bow] How many named characters are in this WIP? How many do get a POV?

💖 [Heart] What is your favorite moment in this WIP?

🎶 [Notes] Do you have any other WIP related things, like moodboards, character portraits, playlists or similar?

📖 [Open Book] What form do you want this WIP to take when it's done? Posted, printed, published, etc?

🐀 [Rat] Name three reasons why this WIP is great at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.)

🐁[Mouse] Name three reasons why this WIP is horrible at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.)

🔎 [Magnifier] Is there a phrase/word you know you use too often? Will you change it in editing?

🍖 [Meat] How many fictional people were harmed in the making of this WIP?

🌈 [Rainbow] If at the beginning of your WIP the characters knew about the end, would they kill you to stop you from writing it?

‍🎨 [Palette] If your WIP was a color, which color would it be?

🍩 [Donut] What's the weirdest thing someone eats in your WIP? What's the best thing?

🔒 [Lock] Would you let your family, friends, or other people you know in real life read your WIP?

🖋️ [Pen] Describe your WIP in a single, terrible sentence.

❌ [Cross] What would your WIP get cancelled on Twitter for?

[t4tlottie]

now that you've seen companion........ hcs for dating iris post-liberation?? cus I've been thinking abt it a lot.....

iris getting to make her own memory of meeting her first ACTUAL love of her life.... ☹️☹️☹️ getting to experience first dates and awkward first kisses that weren't already programmed inside of her :(

i feel like she'd be just as devoted as she originally was made to be? she just has a lot of love for you!! soo clingy too. also think she'd take a little time to fully trust you because of josh, but once she lets you in, you cant get rid of her 😖 not that you'd ever want to but! she's glued to you

maybe she buys an apartment with the money she took and you're her neighbor!! you help her bring some things in and she offers you some water or juice for your time and you guys end up chatting until you have to leave. getting closer to her, coming over and talking about your shitty job and she talks about how she wants to get one too :( iris who has to look up how to ask people out even though she probz has her intelligence set really high 😭 everything inside her just breaks when she thinks about you and it never felt this way with josh cause she already loved him yk?

def pays for the first date... i mean, what is she to do with all that money anyway? i like to think she took you shopping for clothes first and when you asked why she was so adamant on picking something expensive-ish, she then confessed it was for your date. with her. which she never told you about until now. you're both bashful and she falls even more head over heels when you suggest matching 😖 also just watching her model clothes for you because iris's outfits were always so cutesy :(( picking out her headbands and jewelry.. the correct chapstick that you definitely spend time testing out after the date.......

iris saying "hey, you" but the morning after your first time 😖😖 she actually got to experience real pleasure and took her time getting to know your body because she was already programmed to know everything about josh, so she really loved how awkward and clumsy it was

also, i dont think she'd get her hand repaired! she flaunts it proudly. thinking of it being winter and even then when you go to put mittens on her, she refuses for that hand to be covered. cue to a couple of hours later when you have to warm her hand up by the fire because all the wires froze 😭

road trips in her car!!!! dates where you're parked somewhere with a nice view and laying a blanket on the hood so you can have a picnic and watch the sunset... little makeout sessions that end up with her confessing her love over and over because she really loves you :( she wants you to know it.

and vacations ofc! actually going to japan with her and she's your translator :3 staying at the best hotels and getting pampered and pampering her because she deserves for being such an amazing girlfriend

[dunmeshistash]

Chilchuck Revealed in Five Keywords

5 keywords section from the Adventurer's Bible, this is transcribed from the EHScans translation for more info you can check this post. My own notes will be at the end of the post.

1. Encounter

Laios and Chilchuck were first introduced to each other through a member of the half-foot guild, Dandan. Though at the time Chilchuck was considering retiring from participating in dungeon expeditions due to his age, no other half-foots had the expertise necessary to accompany Laios to such a deep floor of the dungeon, so he agreed to go with them. Incidentally, the average lifespan for half-foots is around 50 years old. Since Chilchuck is the equivalent of about 50 years old by the standards of a modern human*, this would have been quite an early retirement for him. He intended to become a locksmith after quitting adventuring.

2. Weight Management

Compared to the average half-foot, Chilchuck is on the taller side. Accordingly, his body weight is greater as well, which means it's easier for him to set off traps. He's very meticulous and careful about maintaining his body weight at an acceptable level. However, after Senshi took over cooking duties for the group, he's become a hearty eater and his body weight keeps creeping up steadily.

3. Liquor

Chilchuck is a heavy drinker. Apparently his father died from excessive drinking, but Chilchuck thinks that dying while doing something you love isn't the worst way to go. Thus, he makes no effort to avoid alcohol, and heartily partook of the homebrewed beverages made by the residents of the Golden Castle.

4. Family

Chilchucks family consists of his wife and three daughters; all three of the latter are already independent. He and his wife were childhood friends, and they are the same age. She currently lives at their middle daughter's house. The panels shown bellow are** from one of Marcille's fantasies, and only Chilchuck knows the truth behind what really happened. In any case, since any lingering doubts about him cheating on his wife were cleared away, Chilchucks reputation amongst the women in the party (mainly Marcille) was mended.

5. Appearance

With their youthful faces and short stature, many half- foots are seen as adorable by others. Some of them use that to their advantage to do things like ingratiate themselves with people of other races or to commit crimes. Chilchuck thinks that though such actions may have short term benefits for the individual in question, in the long run it causes others to look down on the half-foot race as a whole, and loathes his brethren that use their appearances in that manner.

------

*This part causes a lot of confusion, it says he's "the equivalent of about 50 years old by the standards of a modern human". I think this comparison isn't about objective age (29 being the equivalent of 50 would be like half-foots living to be the equivalent of 86 on average, that's 10 years more than modern human average), I think it's more likely about what his life stage is compared to humans today. The average lifespan for half-foots in Dungeon Meshi is 50 so he still got 21 years left on that, which would be similar to a modern day 50yo retiring (Average global life expectancy irl is a bit over 70). (Edit: btw, converting his age to tallman using this conversion chart we get 33, which I think is more accurate than 50)

**Original translation by EHScans says "panel shown to the left is(..)" but I adjusted the wording to match the post format

Stats

Timelines

Official version bellow the cut

[ickyrafe]

transactional…

how rave girl!reader and stoner!rafe met.

cw -> heavy drug use & smoking, coercion.

rave girl!reader who has the misfortune of running into disgusting stoner!rafe at a festival and ends up going to his tent with him because who can say ever say no to free drugs? she’s like a little kitten, following someone who’s shaking a bag of treats in front of her. poor thing already has the sorest jaw from the molly in her system, all fidgety and wide eyed as her small hand feels so misplaced in his own, guiding her through the field full of tents and people having their own parties.

and now rafe is sat in front of her, blowing smoke from the blunt he quickly rolled up with expertise in her face. she’s expecting him to pass it to her— maybe even bring it to her lips and let her take a long puff while he holds it. instead she’s shoved to her knees and they hit the cold, hard ground that’s hiding beneath the nylon of the tent. a hand grips one of her pigtails and tugs crudely, solely for the purpose of being mean. it’s almost hard enough to make all the little clips and such that she’s decorated her hairstyle with to pop right off.

“these stupid fuckin’ things,” he grumbles, flicking the fluffy pompoms on one of her hair ties and making her eyebrows furrow up at him in return. her confused face prompts him to grin, eyes flickering to her smaller hands and then his waistband. she shuffles on her knees nervously, debating on running away yet something keeps her pinned.

“c’mon— you know what i want… unless you’re gonna let me fuck you instead.” he says after exhaling another cloud of smoke, snorting out a laugh. “i’ll give you what you need, but you gotta work for it first.”

( originally posted to my former blog on dec. 30th, 2024… ♥︎ )

[aenor-llelo]

amitoufo he is carbondated

It's the Year of the Snake. Destiny 2's Heresy just came out. But this ain't about her. I sit on your shoulder, I am your xiaoren.

I'm Taiwanese! Let's carbon date The Drifter!

Lightbearers retain their semantic memory (facts, concepts, ideas) and procedural memory (memory of how to do things) of their original life before death. This is implied from game/lore instances of Guardians with unique accents, ethnic coding, memory of languages that are obscure post-Collapse, even cases of Guardians retaining pre-rez war PTSD. It is outright confirmed by Sen-Aret, a Guardian who- due to the sheer age of her remains or some error by her Ghost- was raised with only the knowledge she had in life, and had to learn about modern weapons/language from other Guardians.

Why does this mean anything? It means that the way a Guardian prefers to dress, talk, and generally behave tells you where they came from pre-rez!

Aside from his voice actor being Vietnamese, his entry in the official cookbook is banh mi, a Vietnamese dish, and his clothes are Chinese, which would point to him being Hoa, the Han people of Vietnam. (He also wraps his clothes in an orientation specific to corpses, because he doesn't count Lightbearers as truly alive humans.)

Behavior-wise, though, have you noticed how obsessed he is with jade? The coins, the necklace. Jade is a very precious stone in the Sinosphere, and jade jewelry is for giving luck or protection to the wielder- what you will hear less commonly is that it is meant to work by breaking instead of you when something happens. We give them to kids and elderly for this reason.

(You can wonder, for a second, the jade coins he always plays with before Gambit rounds, wraps around certain weapons for you, and the Red String of Fate ornament for Malfeasance. Is this a man perpetually deeply terrified for everyone or himself, or is he every middle aging ah-yi who just got back into religion while you were in school?)

So he's Vietnamese and the Chinese influence means his pre-rez life had to have been after Chinese imperial interference with Vietnam. Unfortunately, four different historical periods between 111 BC and the 1400s isn't good carbon dating. KE SHI NI HUI KANDAO THE SANDWICH,

banh mi is a baguette sandwich. this kind of bread comes to vietnam in the mid-19th century from French colonizers, and only during WWI did a mixed flour version make this bread accessible outside luxury. Early 1900s le. But "post-1900s" isn't a better narrowing down than "BCs to 1400s" in a future setting like Destiny.

Except that Drifter's banh mi recipe specifically uses pâté. This was only a common banh mi filling before the 1950s, when the partition of Vietnam sent an influx of northerners to Saigon and led to the Saigon sandwich that is modern banh mi. So, 1910s to 1950s. And the fact that he defaults to hanfu rather than Western dress or more modern standard Vietnamese ethnic clothing like ao dai skews him having been an adult on the earlier end of this time frame or living in a more rural area where colonization ideas were not as enforced. (One could explore him having other Vietnamese forms of cultural expression like lacquered teeth, actually.)

Ain't that something? He could have lived through WWI or even saw the beginning of the Communist revolution. The possibility that his first life was a survivor of colonization, war draft, and/or violent civil war could add a lot to readings of his character, especially his C-PTSD, but that's a whole other post if the people demand it. It's a neat thing to explore, huh?

And don't call him a rat le! Bad enough already the game think that is cute! White people calling East Asians rats is generally a slur in reference (from my collection) to immigrant "infestation" and part of general stereotypes about their uncleanliness (they cook with gutter oil, they eat rats, they cheap they scam they lie dadadada). You want source bigger than I grow up with white people shout in my face and their children pull their eyes to squint like a "jap"? Look up WWI propaganda posters about Japan. They did not invent that out of nowhere, they make Japanese people into rats because that's something they already say.

"It's just about Japanese-" what if I told you a large part of Western racism about Asians is that they can't tell the difference and don't care. and they're making fun of similar cultures and features.

"My Asian friend said it was okay-" the asian friend values your friendship and your comfort more than what they feel when you say slurs, dude. sorry i had to be the one to tell you that. one friend (or stranger online) giving you the pass to say it in front of them doesn't mean you're allowed to say it to everyone.

"it's fictional-" Real East Asian people getting beat down by Sinophobia matters a little more than how cute you think it is to call a Vietnamese man an animal that your culture associates with filth and plague.

"Chinese zodiac animal-" The snake is right there. The game won't shut up about how snake he is. We're having a Drifter-heavy episode right in the beginning of the snake lunar year. His personality matches the charm, mystery, and wisdom associated with the sign. He is never thematically associated with rats. He is never respectfully associated with rats.

It would be one thing if it was another asian character calling him that in the context of the rat's folkloric characteristics, but this is an American game by an American studio writing someone voiced by a non-asian to call him a rat as an insult about his cleanliness and food choices. Good for you if that doesn't hurt your feelings! Hurt many more people than you! They more real than him!

Good game story. Mistakes happen! Doesn't mean you have special privilege to repeat it.

He is snake! Viper! Asp! Cost zero dollar to say that instead! Don't keep a pet slur in your pocket!

[vintagerpg]

Back in the ’90s, a big part of the local punk scene in North Jersey that I bounced around in was centered around street punk and oi bands like Headwound, Niblick Henbane and The Wretched Ones. Their music was stripped down, catchy and their lyrics reflected a mix of working-class life, light hooliganism and, in the case of Those Unknown, grassroots leftist politics. One thing that none of them struck me as? Nerdy.

Fast-forward to 2023 when I stumbled across Harvest, by Philly’s Poison Ruin. Self-described peace punks, the album is a leftist working-class manifesto filtered through the aesthetics of medieval peasantry. It gets weirder! The tunes are gruff head-kickers with a strong sense of ’90s-era production, but there are all these clearly dungeonsynth-influenced interludes and, well, come on, look at that cover. Spooky chainmail guy with a sickle, black on yellow — it’s basically a MÖRK BORG zine. Can’t help but notice that flail is real similar to the one in the Gnoll logo, too…

Poison Ruin reminded me how much I liked aggro-infused music, so I went hunting for more. Most of the stuff I dug up hewed to the ’90s standard of slice-of-life working class lyrics and aesthetics, though many have a strong mix of post-punk and new wave influences, a la later-era Blitz, which is also surprising and intriguing. But some bands have decided to explore even stranger trails.

Enemic Interior, out of Barcelona, mixes oi and post-punk, and their album art, by David Soto, clearly evokes the look of old school RPGs — that ghost on II (2022) is very reminiscent of the ghost from the original Monster Manual — and could easily front dungeonsynth albums. Same for Castillo but more so — the sleeve of their self-titled EP (2020) boasts Sutherland’s green dragon and frost giant from the MM, and the Paladin in Hell from the Players Handbook (I can’t place the wizard). And for Pete’s sake, just look at that cover for Lost Legion’s Beyond the Concrete Veil (2024). It’s not explicitly tied to RPGs, but it could totally be an illustration in Realm of Chaos. And in a million years, I’d never have expected to hear oi this catchy and stompy to also be so entangled with science fiction, psychedelia and Aleister Crowley, but here we are. And, mind-blowingly, when I ordered the Mutant Genes 7-inch, Derek Atkinson at the label was already following my Instagram and popped the vinyl in a custom hand-stenciled sleeve featuring the text of the gelatinous cube entry from the Monster Manual. Fuckin’ wild.

Does this mean anything? I dunno! Medieval fantasy, and the notion of the fantasy dungeon in particular, can be a pretty handy visual shorthand for brutality, whether physical or metaphorical. Just look at all those poor adventurers getting eaten by monsters in the original Monster Manual! Does the frost giant and his huge ax on the Castillo sleeve represent the oppressive, exploitative forces of capitalism? Are frost giants with huge axes just cool now? Two things can be true simultaneously. And, regardless of intent, it’s interesting how the aesthetics have shifted in 30 years. Maybe fantasy is having a moment of broad appeal reminiscent of the last golden era in the ’70s.

P.S.: And, yes, true, the Misfits were into nerd shit way before any of this stuff, but I think horror nerd shit has always had more cachet than fantasy nerd shit? Perhaps because it maps more readily to established masculine norms; there was a big gulf in 198X between Danzig watching Plan 9 from Outer Space and Danzig copping to running a weekly D&D game).

[siggiedraws]

Hello! In one of your recent posts, you've mentioned that

There are little hints here and there that point towards the symbolism of his origins, like his folded boots being inspired by Santa Claus, which is why they're red and white with a buckle! I find that such a cool detail.

and it stood out to me because "the symbolism of his origins" is very fascinating. Could you elaborate? What other hints like this are there? Thank you in advance! ^^

Of course!

What I meant by what I said is that, despite us not knowing of Sonic's past, what very little we do know about it also happens to tie into the concept of Christmas/Santa Claus, that being his red and white boots that he's been wearing since the beginning and his birthplace literally being Christmas Island.

To understand where I want to go with this, I need to get into the important context behind the presence of Christmas in the Sonic series, which is that Naoto Ohshima loves the holiday. To the extent that he would dress up as Santa Claus in public and give gifts to people.

(SOURCE)

The reason behind Ohshima's passion for the character of Santa is that he was inspired by Santa and wanted to be like him. He's always wanted to create things for children to enjoy, or things that would delight people, much like how Santa spreads joy around the world by delivering gifts.

(SOURCE)

(SOURCE)

What I meant by the "symbolism of [Sonic's] origins" is that they are literally symbolic. Sonic was the gift Ohshima created for children all over the world.

I will say that this can come off as an especially Doylist perspective on the matter, because surely Sonic's past must exist within the fictional context of the Sonic universe, and we just don't know about it. I agree with this! Looking at it within the fictional universe, it's fun to speculate on what his birthplace could be like based on what limited information we have. If he got his boots from there, it might be a Christmas-themed island where it snows a lot. Alternatively, it might bear a striking resemblance to the real Christmas Island, since the Sonic universe already has many places that are analogous to real life, like Dragon Road being inspired by the Great Wall of China.

Sonic as he was originally conceived plays with the concept of blurring the lines between fiction and reality, so I would argue a more Doylist perspective is valid when we're discussing the symbolism behind Sonic's origins. If you're aware of the Marie Granette stories, that's a great example. There's a metafictional story about how Sonic, the fictional character from a fairytale, comes to life within reality (another fictional universe in our reality, but is meant to represent reality all the same), and saves a woman from a fire. Then, he's gone again, like he was never there.

This story depicts Sonic as a character who brings joy to people, as Meg (the woman who Sonic saves) recognizes him on a flight jacket as the character from her childhood that brought her so much joy over the years. When she wears the jacket, it makes her feel safe and comforted. No one would believe her if she said she saw him. Similar to a certain jolly fellow, donned in red and white.

Perhaps Sonic was never born; not through conventional means, that is. Maybe someone needed him, and he appeared. Maybe the rest was history.

Thanks for your ask!

[bakawitch]

Inspiration struck, and I decided to draw @gamerknight7310 's entire 2025 Community Box! Then I go sick halfway, and I could only get the portion I wanted done today...

And because I'm me, I decided to make the task even more complicated and imagine a hero for every kwami in the box using my poster child Bellamy as a conduit (I wanted to do weapons too, but I'll finish those later because I was too impatient not to post lol)

Kwami close ups and individual pics below cut:

Since I already had Drayy designed, I decided to start he whole process from them because I wanted all the kwamis to have a similar element that ties them together as kwamis from the same box. And that ended up being a sort of contrasting accent colour, like the blue in Drayy's braids! Jovv got mustard, Currio got brown, Mullch got a pale-ish red, and Ecco got this titanium blue.

Now let's get into each of Bellamy's designs! (For those who know these are all Bellamy Prime.) Faux Fur! The one with the most obvious name! I struggled a bit with how I wanted to do the fox tail on the dress because my original idea was to give her a short fur skirt that looked like a fox tail wrapped around her waist. I threw that idea away pretty quickly since I couldn’t make it look right no matter how hard I tried. I can't remember how I ended up on his open fur trimmed over skirt but I think it works!

Funnily enough, I think Bellamy would hate this miraculous and act like she had some sort of dark horrible power thrust on her. The idea of forced false happiness (how she sees Jovv's power) is something she finds deplorable. She would probably avoid using the power as much as possible and just bash in the villain of the week's head in with the hulla hoop.

Vermoire! Her name comes from ver (worm) + moire (a type of textile). It's probably the weakest design, lol. Gotta be honest, I had no idea what a worm themed hero was supposed to look like other than probably segments. Anyway, I somehow got reminded of those fluffy worms on strings, and I remembered seeing a giant boa scarf version of it somewhere, so I just decided to go with a giant worm scarf XD. Because of the power I also tried to do some kind of raincoat/cape, but I feel like that might have been too much.

We can just say that because of how disgusting Bellamy would find the application of the worm's power, she'd want as much coverage as possible. She would not want that slime anywhere near her, hence the baggy clothes! Assuming it keeps its structure, maybe it minimises how much the clothes stick to her.

Rabbit hole Miku looking mf XD Couturetail is a spin on a cottontail. The thought behind this design was something purposely cutesy but also kind of historic since the bunny's weapon is a pickaxe, and I usually associate that with archaeology. So I decided to go with a sort of commedia dell'arte mask and some vaguely renaissance inspired bodice. I also thought it'd be funny if all users inherited Currio's perpetual blush.

Bellamy would love this miraculous it would probably be one of her favourites from this batch. She gets a useful non gross power and the perfect bludgeoning weapon!

Batillon time! No real meaning to the name other than bat + something cool sounding lol. I wanted to do something sleek and neat looking so when the hyper awareness powers get activated, the user's appearance can go a little feral predator looking. And obviously, vampire influences because duh XD. I wanted to avoid doing a full bat cape, so I just opted for a little capelet. The hair I specifically imagine flaring up into bat wing like shapes whenever hyper awareness gets activated. She's purple because of he vamp influences, plus every box needs a skin colour distorting kwami at least lol.

This miraculous would be a tie with the bunny miraculous when it comes to Bellamy's favourites. She's a bit of a know-it-all, so she would want an advantage like this XD

Last but not least, it's Courbette, named after a dressage movement! Design wise, I really like Dobbin, so I wanted to do something fairly similar and incorporate riding gear for this design, too. I added a harness to the miraculous belt for extra security and to kind of look like some straps you can usually see on horses. The same goes for the shoulder harness. I wanted to keep the sporty look Dobbin had, because I felt like that would make sense for the miraculous that represents strength, so I went with a kind of fancy sleeved leotard to get a gymnast look.

Bellamy would be mostly neutral about this miraculous, I think. She wouldn't hate it, but she wouldn't love it either. It's a bit too brutish for her style. She'd probably be a decent enough user, but I could not see her as it's perma holder XD

Phew, and that's it for now! This was very fun to mess around with, and I'm hoping to get the other part of the box out sooner rather than later but we'll see XD

[mybworlds]

Kiss the girl

Pairing: Marcus Acacius x f!reader

Warnings: use of you, you’re a mermaid, I won't give any details except for nice long legs and very long hair, nudity, violence (a little?), use of both pov. If I missed smt please let me know.

Summary: your time with Marcus is over, you have to go back to your home. When you are about to leave, Marcus has the courage to declare himself, but..

Masterlist

A/N Thank you so much for the amount of love and support, it means a lot. The title of the chapter takes inspiration from the very famous song from Walt Disney's The Little Mermaid. Likes, comments and reblogs are not mandatory, but very appreciated! ❤️

follow @mybworlds and turn on notifications to get notified when I post new fics

Taglist @harriedandharassed; @orcasoul; @blazeflays; @ijustlovemensm; @duck-duck-goose2; @blacksnape123

Thx for the dividers @saradika-graphics.

The days pass peacefully as do what Acacius calls weeks. Every evening as instructed by your aunt you take a few drops of her potion and then return to your commitments with Marcus.

When the man has no political or military commitments, he dedicates all his time to you, he even gives you clothes and a pearl necklace, although the pearls are certainly not as splendid as those you have at the bottom of the sea.

Being with him for so long, you almost feel like you've always been there with him, that you've always been part of his life and, if your initial intent was to get to know him and discover his world, now you hope to be part of it forever.

You have also learned to love the time with little Faustus, you almost feel like an old sister playing with her little brother. You’ve never experienced this pleasure and it’s beautiful. You chase each other, you giggle, you grab him and lift him into the air, you tickle him, you run to the beach and there, just off the shore, you splash each other, covering yourself in sand and seaweed.

You once noticed Marcus watching you with a tender smile, the light in his eyes is sometimes indecipherable to your eyes. Your relationship is slowly changing and you don't mind at all.

You and him have reached an almost perfect daily life and you have such trust in each other that maybe now you can tell him everything. Including your origin and the truth about you.

That summer evening there's a slightly stronger and warmer wind, you run to your room feeling the effects of the potion almost fading. You reach under the bed to get the vial and that's when you realize there are only a few drops for that evening.

A deep sense of sadness and grief creeps over you as you realize you have to return to your aunt under the sea. The moment of truth has arrived. You must speak to Marcus before you have no choice but to show him who you are.

Marcus...

Oh, he was always so kind to you, sweet. He made you feel loved, yes you think that's the right word. But will he understand who you are? Or will he chase you away?

Maybe he should really be with someone like Augusta Lucilla, as everyone calls her, a good woman, beautiful, elegant, educated and certainly accustomed to what happens in Rome, its intrigues and its dark power. You met her more than once and she seemed genuinely intrigued and fascinated by you, she asked you many questions and you gave the same answers you had already given to everyone before. She and Marcus have also spent a lot of time alone together, and when that happened, you could watch them and see how perfect they are together. You know what Marcus thinks, but you think that maybe he should give her a chance. It hurts to think about it, but you and him—even if he accepted you—couldn't be together anyway.

When you reach him, you find him on the beach intent on watching the sunset. His amber skin is orange-toned, his greyish curls are tousled by the wind, his gaze is rapt and absorbed. You call him softly and he turns to you, smiles slightly and holds out his hand to you, which you offer, sitting next to him. You are shoulder to shoulder, arm to arm and you have never been closer.

“You’re here.” he tells you in a faint whisper.

You look into his soft hazel eyes, he seems troubled by something that you can only assume has to do with Lucilla and his now controversial upcoming wedding. Geta, in fact, does nothing but come here to his house to remind him of the impending event and does not miss any opportunity to talk to you and try to charm you or capture your attention, but so far he has always failed. You don't like his eyes and their expression at all, his voice makes you disgusted and scared at the same time, you always fear that something might happen to you in his presence. You are kind to him, courteous, but always maintain a cordial detachment and above all never spend more time than necessary with him and never alone.

“I'm here,” you say, looking him softly in the eyes.

His expression is sad, he searches for your hand again which he holds gently in his. He strokes the back of your hand with his thumb without saying anything. The silence that usually falls between you is comfortable, full of a strange and pleasant intimacy, but this seems to foretell something extremely serious.

“Your presence is always so dear to me,” he says, leaving the sentence hanging in mid-air for a while as if he didn't know how to continue, “but I fear... that we won't be able to see each other again.” you frown, looking him insistently in the eyes, while his eyes become full of regret and sadness.

You find yourself lowering your eyes, maybe it's better this way. This way it’ll be easier for you to separate from him and maybe try to forget the joy and sweetness you felt with him all this time. You will definitely have fewer regrets and probably won't want to come back to the surface as much. You had a good time with him and maybe, given his upcoming wedding, it's a good thing you're not here. You would only feel a great immense pain. You have learned to love him.

“You were my lifeline. The most precious thing that could ever happen in my life. A sweet and gentle soul who touched my heart and soul in such a unique, strong, delicate, persuasive way.” you look up at each other at the same time “Thank you for saving me.”

“I didn’t do anything… I…” you start to say, but he takes your hand again, bringing it to his lips and kissing it with such sweetness that it makes your skin pucker.

“You did, instead. You saved me on more than one occasion. Months ago... and since you've been here.” he adds still holding your hand gently in his “You gave me so many moments of joy and... with you and your innocence I discovered the purity of a feeling that I had never felt before.” you look at him surprised and almost speechless.

You thought that he, so handsome, so strong, so confident, had dozens of women he had seduced and related experiences. You never thought he could find in you what you thought he had already experienced and felt.

“I… um, I don’t know what to say,” you admit in a small voice, then he looks at you with such intensity that you think everything is probably going to burn under his gaze soon, including you.

His face is now so close to yours, his hand halfway between your face and your hair, his grip is firm, but you are not afraid of this gesture, on the contrary. You don't know what to do but stand still and watch this gesture almost in bewilderment, he must have noticed this almost stiffening of yours because he stops a hand's breadth away, “Sorry,” he whispers and you feel his hot breath against your face for the first time.

“No, I don’t… it’s just…” I’m a mermaid, you want to tell him, maybe this is the right time, the most appropriate time to tell him who you are. You are looking for the right words to be completely honest with him.

“I know,” he tells you in a tone of voice so reassuring, so sure that it silences every other word you say. Did he understand? Or see something you don't? Your words get stuck in your throat, will he accept you or want you anyway?

“Marcus...” you murmur, moving closer to his face, imitating what he had done to you a few moments before. You can notice every single wrinkle of his, his scar next to his right eye, his uneven beard, his brown eyes.

“My lord!” someone calls Marcus, it's one of his servants. You both walk away at the same time realizing that what was about to happen can never happen between you.

“What's going on?” asks Marcus, turning around. You first look at the man's profile, then you turn around too.

“The…” the servant clears his throat as if embarrassed, as if he doesn’t know what to say. You let your gaze wander from the man to Marcus who simply nods without adding anything else. His face has become a tense mask, his eyes are sad and downcast, then he turns towards you and his gaze softens.

When the servant leaves, he takes your hand tenderly, turning you towards him, “If I tell you something, will you promise to keep it a secret?” you nod, concerned by the serious tone of voice and what appears to be concern.

You nod.

“It's a serious thing,” he announces.

A few weeks before...

Acacius, although has achieved a certain stability and serenity with you, is increasingly oppressed by Geta's push to quell any type of revolt that is creeping into the heart of Rome. In fact, the emperor is convinced that among the possible conspirators there is none other than the daughter of the emperor Marcus Aurelius and, according to Geta, the only way to definitively suppress the main revolt would be to marry Augusta Lucilla to the General so loved by the people and very faithful to his kingdom and to that of his brother Caracalla.

Lucilla, during her many meetings with Marcus, convinced him to participate in at least one of the many secret meetings in which she herself assiduously participates. There, Marcus discovered that many figures who are also prominent in the Senate are against the mad and bloody reign of the Emperors and ended up agreeing with their opinion.

Marcus has often totally disapproved of the two young men's methods of reigning and has often felt oppressed by their expansionist aims and from their total inability to think about the good of the people. Tired and fed up with their way of doing things, the General has, albeit secretly, decided to support Lucilla's cause and to bring back to light Marcus Aurelius' dream, or at least try. It's probably all madness, but Marcus hopes with all his heart that with the support of his men and the support of the Senate, or at least part of it, this conspiracy can succeed and the power of the two twin Emperors be overthrown.

Until then he had always kept away from such situations, but this is no longer possible. Now is the time to act.

Today...

The time is near. Many men loyal to Marcus are about to land on the coasts of Lazio. Soon everything should begin in Rome and the two Emperors will be taken by surprise, but not you. You have to go, Marcus has thought of everything. He will have you board a merchant ship to take you back to the coast of Sicily, where he first met you so that you will be safe from all of this. Marcus, in fact, does not know what could happen once the fuse is lit. Everything could explode, or implode.

You are the strangest, yet most delightful and sweet creature he has ever known. So pure and so gentle, so magnetic and magical, so strong and yet fragile at the same time. He knows he will never be the same after he meets you. He will carry the sweet memory of you with him forever. He won't be able to love you in this life, but he hopes that when one day far away you are both in the Elysian Fields, then and only then will he be able to allow himself to be happy with you.

It's not a given that the conspiracy will end badly, but if everything doesn't go as planned, then Marcus must be prepared for the worst and he knows that in this eventuality he must protect those he loves and prepare to suffer and die.

He has already arranged for the young Iulia and the little Faustus to be entrusted to a dear friend of his who will take care of them and respect them both. He will make sure that they come with you since you have grown so fond of the little one and Faustus of you. He's more than certain that their life will be peaceful and dignified.

But now the real question is how to tell you? How to tell you that he loves you, but that he has to let you go?

Marcus has been through so many difficult, dangerous and painful situations, but having to say goodbye to you is the most heartbreaking thing he has ever thought about or will ever have to do. He wanted to place his lips on yours and whisper those words that no one had ever managed to get out of him before you. You have been the sweetest of companions throughout this time, the first to make him smile and fill his heart.

He knows you have your secrets, but he doesn't care. He learned to love you for who you are and how you make him feel, and that's enough for him.

It's probably not right to kiss you and then say goodbye and perhaps the fact that you pulled away is a sign that the gods have sent to Marcus not to involve you in this foretold drama. However, the fact that you are now approaching his face and the arrival of one of his servants makes him understand that perhaps at least with you he must be clear and sincere. If he were to die and the two of you never see each other again, you have every right to know why. He doesn't want to disappear from your life like a bubble, he doesn't have that cruel courage.

You must know.

Your face changes expression continuously as he tells you what happened in the previous weeks without your knowledge, you are surprised, confused, maybe even angry and disappointed by his silence, anguished because you have surely understood that it's something that in one way or another could kill him.

“It’s not fair.” You whisper in a barely audible whisper. “Don’t leave me.” You find yourself begging him, your eyes clouded with great sadness. You look down at the wave-moistened sand.

Marcus whispers your name, moving your hair and tucking it behind your back, but you don’t look at him, “Please, look at me.” he says to you, slowly caressing your shoulder. “Please.” he adds in a pleading tone.

You look up at him and for the first time he thinks he sees something like tears.

“I don't...” you say with a shaking voice, “I can't cry, but I wish I could now.” Marcus moves his hand away from your shoulder “I - I can't. I - I... I mean, tomorrow morning I have to... leave.” you don't stop staring at the sand at your feet “I don't know how long I'll be gone, but...” for a while you stay silent, there is only the lapping of the sea to fill the silence that is growing between you “I am not who you think I am, Marcus.” you finally resume, finally raising your eyes to his face.

“I know who you are, instead.” he says and in your eyes almost fear spreads “You are the person I dreamed and hoped could be by my side. You changed me and made me see the world in a sweet and tender way.” he caresses your cheek with the back of his hand and your eyes lock, making everything and everyone fade into the background.

“It’s not like that. I… um, I’m a liar, but if I lied to you it’s because I just wanted to…” Marcus places a finger on your lips, blocking the words that would likely make him see you in a different light.

“Please don't think badly of yourself, my beautiful girl,” he murmurs, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “You are so sweet, so pure, so…”

“A monster.” This word comes out abruptly from your lips, freezing the situation and causing an abrupt silence to fall between you, “Well, many... define us like this. Monsters. Murderers.”

Marcus frowns in astonishment. No, it can’t be that you were hired to kill him or kill emperors. He doesn’t believe it. Yet, a part of him has always felt you were elusive. If he had to compare you to something, he would define you as similar to a drop of water that, no matter how much you want to stop it, always finds a way to escape your grip.

Marcus interrupts your flow of words that would likely have led you into dangerous uncharted territory by bringing his face close to yours and placing his lips on yours. He feels you holding your breath and tensing, but you don't pull away. Your lips are so soft, he places his hands first on the sides of your face as if he wanted to bring you even closer to his face, lifting it just a little to deepen the contact. He knows he should have asked your permission and when he's about to move away from your face and apologize again, you're the one who stops him by placing a hand in his curly hair. Your kiss is so sweet and innocent that it almost ends up crumbling everything around you, the sounds, the noises, the lights, the words —the whispered ones, the hidden ones— everything fades into the background. You kiss slowly, almost as if it were your first and last kiss, the first and last moment, so sweet and intimate, so yours.

He doesn't know exactly what you feel, he knows that inside you it's as if two people were clashing, the sweet one who was immediately able to conquer both him and all the inhabitants of the house with your gentleness and innocence and the other one is the mysterious, seductive one that attracts everyone to you while keeping everyone away.

One murmurs the other's name in a whisper and still with eyes closed almost as if you fear that one might dissolve if the other opens his eyes, you sink both hands into his hair and whisper his name again. In his ears his name sounds almost like a sweet melody, it's as if for a long moment he had forgotten about the conspiracy, the dangers, his probable death, but he allowed himself the luxury of thinking of a world in which you and he could live in peace, happy, serene.

“Marcus...”

You open your eyes and each rests his gaze on the other, he caresses your cheeks with his fingertips, still savoring these brief moments of peace, of tenderness. He enjoys your rapt gaze, how your eyes close when he caresses your face or when his nose brushes against yours. He smiles thinking that if the gods wanted to call him to them right now, he would die in peace.

“Tomorrow morning at dawn, I have to - I have to leave.” you tell him, caressing that face that you have learned to love more and more every day and that now will be difficult to let go.

Marcus rests his forehead against yours, he doesn't want to let you go, but he has to. He doesn't know how you'll leave or who'll pick you up, he just knows you'll leave him and, although he's always been strong, this will weigh on him. He'll miss you.

Dawn comes early. You and Marcus spent the night on a triclinium, huddled together, each doing nothing but caressing the other's face, each seeking the other's hand.

The more the light prepares to prevail over the night and the more the pain in your chest increases and amplifies, when Marcus falls asleep, you gently loosen your grip and get up.

The pain in your legs makes you understand that the spell is now ending and that you are close to returning to who you are. You don't want to return to the bottom of the sea, but you cannot do otherwise.

You snuggle up and look at his face once more, so peaceful during sleep and almost always tormented during the day, his hair, a disheveled curl falling across his forehead, the scar under his eye, his lips that you kiss gently again, his big and strong hands.

You have to go now.

You turn your back on him and walk down those corridors that you have learned to know, along which you have also run, laughed, talked and marveled at the great beauty that man is capable of; now you're on the beach, the sky is full of clouds and you're ready to return to the waves despite yourself. You undress, leaving behind the beautiful silk dress that Marcus gave you, and you also leave the necklace he gave you there.

The water is cold, but it only lasts a moment, then your beautiful legs are no longer there and in their place your fish tail has reappeared. As you are about to dive in, you realize that a couple of timid tears have flown towards the waves, causing sudden, strong ripples.

You give yourself a boost by immersing yourself completely as if you wanted to push everything away and distance yourself from your life on earth.

You want to come back, but you don't know how long it'll be before you can, or if the man you love will wait for you... what you completely ignore, however, is that Marcus saw everything.

[dresshistorynerd]

@bubbletea4ever I'm responding to your comment in a separate post since my answer got too long and I then just decided to properly make my case.

(For anyone else stumbling here, here's the post in which comments we were discussing. There's couple of comments before this, so if you want more context, you are free to check them out.)

So here's @bubbletea4ever 's comment:

so you can understand that regimes can control and influence how people dress, but you can’t see that a culture does the same? If you ask women who veil their faces why they do it, how many of them do you seriously think are going to say ‘to protect me from the sun’ ? covering your face is dehumanising to yourself. you can pretend it’s neutral but it’s not. there’s not a world where this means nothing, it’s inherently oppressive that women just so happen to be the sex whose awra seemingly includes everything but the face and yet even some believe they should cover that. It is inherently oppressive that there are women who choose to swim in clothes that puts them at further risk of drowning in the name of piousness. And I said it’s cultural imperialism because that’s precisely what it is. Not every niqabi is from the specific region of Saudi where this began. This sort of regression only had a resurgence because of petro-Islam.

Of course people don't usually actively think about their clothing's origin or practical purpose. Culture forms around the practice and assigns symbolism and meaning to it. If you ask most people of the world "why are you not going out in your underwear?" they will probably not answer by "because of western hegemony we are all wearing clothing that originates from Europe and in European climate layering is the best strategy to keep you warm but not overheated or sweaty". They will most likely answer "it's not appropriate". Yes, the reason today many Muslim women wear any kind of veil, including niqab, are usually religious reasons (weather by choice or not), but my point in my original response was to show that these clothing are not just tools of oppression or just religious symbols, they are also practical useful garments which have long history, just like any other traditional clothing item from different cultures. My point was that while they can take different meanings, none of those meanings are inherent to them.

When I mentioned enforcing and controlling how people dress I of course mean also other means of control than just legal means. But there is a difference in controlling societal structures and cultural norms, though the line between those two is often hazy. All cultures ever have had some social standards and norms for dress. My previous example works here as well. In modern globalized culture it's deemed inappropriate to be naked or even in just the underwear in public. However, there is nothing inherently inappropriate in it. In many cultures thorough history, mostly those originating from hot and at least semi-humid climates, it has been entirely appropriate to appear almost or fully naked in public, and the concept of underwear itself is not even universal. Even in Early Modern Europe it was very appropriate for certain women in certain situations to appear in public their breasts fully exposed (I have a post where I explain the phenomena). However, in modern globalized culture it's not. I wouldn't call that inherently oppressive though. Historically using veils (even face coverings in desert climates) was often more of a neutral cultural norm like the one I just described rather than a tool of societal control, including in Europe, where veils and other head coverings were for a long time part of the standard dress (also originally for practical reasons). (I'm not saying this was always the case thorough history, I can already think of some examples which cross the hazy line to more of an oppressive standard, but broadly speaking.) Of course, I do know that in many modern Muslim societies, even when there's no outright laws enforcing it, there is very much societally enforced pressure especially for women to wear certain clothing, which is oppressive. Still the garments themselves are not oppressive.

I think it's interesting you say covering your face is inherently dehumanizing. Why is that? What makes covering your face specifically dehumanizing? Is covering your eyes dehumanizing? For example would you consider using sunglasses as dehumanizing?

I'll give you an example to better explain how I see this. In Victorian Era western societies it was societally enforced standard for women to only wear skirts and never pants. That was oppressive. Are skirts then oppressive? I certainly wouldn't agree with that. Some feminist women did push against this oppression and wore pants. There were also women who agreed that it's oppressive to control what women wear but still choose to wear skirts. Was the only reason they choose to wear skirts because of this oppressive standard? For some it certainly was because they were afraid of the backlash, which was severe at first. But for others it clearly wasn't, because some of them did dress in very unconventional manner directly contrasting the contemporary beauty norms, but still wearing skirts. Would it have been a good way to dismantle this norm by demanding that no woman ever wears a skirt? Absolutely not. There would be just another type of control. (I write a bit more on that history in this post.) Another example. At the same time men were not allowed to wear skirts in public (outside very specific situations like when they were small children or when they were a Scott wearing a kilt). During Victorian Era many countries had laws against cross dressing, but even to this day it's not socially acceptable for men to wear skirts in western and most westernized countries. Even if there's no longer laws against it, our oppressive social structures still enforce that. So are pants then oppressive? Of course not. Should all men stop wearing pants? No, they should be allowed to wear skirts or pants. Should I assume that every man ever wearing pants is only doing it because they are oppressed by the societal standards of dress? I do not think so. My thinking is exactly the same about niqab and other Muslim and Arab garments.

In your previous comment you said the prevalence of face covering as a whole is due to imperialism, which is what I disagreed with, at least with the "as a whole" part, because as I said, face coverings have long been used in many arid, especially desert, environments, not just Arabia. Niqab term and the specific form comes from Arabia, but very similar types of face coverings are not exclusive to Arabia nor even to Islam, nor do they originate with either of them. There's even historical examples from Europe of the practice of face coverings in certain areas (for example in parts of Germany during the Renaissance, but this is veering quite off the point). Face coverings have been recorded in Levant in pre-Islamic historical accounts as well, as this academic article on the misconceptions about nicab explains (this paper informs my opinion in this subject a lot). Coptic Orthodox women, who are Christians who originate around Eqypt, traditionally wore black veils and face coverings as seen in the photo from 1918 below. Tuaregs (one of the Amazigh peoples of North Africa), both men and women, but particularly men, have also worn face coverings called Litham for centuries, as seen in the second image from 1897. Litham is a veil that also covers the face, and is often worn by men as a turban. In Central Asia face coverings have also been used for a long time, chaderi has been used in Afghanistan for several hundred years, as seen in the third image, an illustration from c. 1840.

These are just a few examples and my point with them is to illustrate niqab style face coverings are not exclusive to Saudi Arabia, and certainly not to Najd alone, so calling all face coverings outside Najd Saudi imperialism is simply not true. Saudi Arabia is certainly an imperial entity and historically Arab imperialism has been in a cultural hegemony position in the MENA area. However, Arab imperialism is certainly not the only kind of imperialism effecting MENA societies. Similarly as Arabic cultural products are pushed on many Muslims outside Arabia and even Arabic countries, so are western products. Would you think the only reason an Arab or a Muslim more broadly, man or a woman, would wear jeans or other western clothing is that they are oppressed by western imperialism? Would you condemn that usage of jeans?

It was also the western colonialism which enforced western cultural norms in many Arab and other Muslim countries, which led to the wave of westernization across MENA in the 20th century and the decline of the usage of traditional clothing, including veils and face coverings. Western world of course framed it as progress, because in the colonial framework the burden of the white man was to "civilize" non-white non-western societies. Everything non-western was then backwards and uncivilized. The Islamic backlash against this led to another kind of oppression, which is fueled by the continued western imperial presence in the area. Even Saudi Arabia is in the end just an arm of American imperialism. My point is traditional Islamic or Arab garments are not inherently more oppressive than western garments, what is oppressive when either is forced upon a culture and upon it's people.