#I mean it's probably bc he's in a lot of international productions too but still. tbf he doesn't look bad at all

[lieutenantselnia]

This is super random, but I've recently been watching more German movies (I really enjoyed the performances of some Downfall actors and wanted to see some of their other works), and like what the hell is it with 2000s German movies that there's way too often one entirely random scene with someone having their bare ass out😭😂

Of course it doesn't happen in every movie but still often enough that it's somehow noticeable? I'm not sure if it's more of a time or a country dependent thing, but at least in my perception I just don't feel like this occurs as often in more recent movies and series especially in those from the US (like, I feel I'd have noticed if it did because I'd probably be lowkey annoyed by it😂)

[nothorses]

anon from before, i understand better now! i think i just thought abt it too much and confused myself but your explanation helped. im still on the fence abt cultural christianity but i think thats bc it seems like everyone is talking about it in a different way? like one person says it means this, but another person says its that. i think you made some really good points against it, but i also think spacelazarwolf made some good points for it so im just still figuring it out i think.

Yeah, I fully agree people are talking directly past each other in the conversation, and that's exactly why I made this post to begin with.

And I'm gonna @spacelazarwolf here because I respect his point of view a lot, we've been mutuals for a while, and I hadn't seen him talk about it until I went searching his blog literally just now; I don't wanna be talking about this behind his back or anything.

So like- correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like what he's defending is, for the most part, use of the term in some specific contexts:

"You are viewing this issue through a culturally Christian lens"

"Because you come from cultural Christianity, you may have developed blind spots and internalized ideas that you need to pay special attention to finding and rectifying"

(I'm specifically referring to these two recent posts)

I actually really agree with these uses! Those posts also clarify further that this isn't something you are, it's something you've been influenced by, or something you're doing. That's exactly the thing I say in my original post that I am very much here for, because, like I've said: Christian hegemony is obviously real, people are influenced by it- some more than others-, and it's necessary to be able to talk about these things.

I feel like the majority of arguments I see recently boil down to like, "why do you think cultural Christianity doesn't exist?" which, y'know, I don't doubt some people are actually saying. But if a lot of people are only really arguing that we shouldn't use it as an individual label that others get to decide to apply to them, and the people on the Other Side of the argument are only really arguing that we should be able to use it to refer to the impact of Christian hegemony on culture and shared ideology, like...

Maybe it's time to recognize that we're kinda saying the same shit. If we can get behind "don't label individuals, but do acknowledge the cultural impact and behavior", we can probably just move forward knowing that none of us are trying to advocate for something shitty just because someone else on our "side" said it. And maybe have more productive & relevant conversations.

[raymurata]

❤️ ❗️ 🐞 for Oak and Tarylin

❤️ (heart) - Who is the most important person to your character? To what lengths would they go to protect this person?

In both cases, their family members!

Despite everything that family did to him, and despite questioning their methods on occasion, Tarlyn was loyal to his identity as an Icozrin and he lived in service of his den (as far as Oak remembers at least).

Oak loves their family deeply and can't fathom anything bad happening to them. They'd go to great lengths to protect them, including being away from them. This is one of the reasons they were itching to leave Jigow (so as not to risk the Icozrin coming after them there) and be on the move/adventuring.

❗️(exclamation point) - What was the scariest moment of your character’s life? Does it still affect them?

I'll keep my mouth shut abt Tarlyn for this one. 👀

For Oak, it was definitely when Ahlysaaria announced her plan to "return them to a worthy body." But being attacked by Anil and his goons was right up there too (and as far as they know, Anil was trying to get them to proceed with Ahlysaaria's plan, so it's the same fear again). I think that the attempted kidnapping marked the first time Oak's ever fallen in battle. I might be misremembering tho cuz my memory sucks for these things. I even wanted to ask @skullhaver if they remember exactly what the goons used when Oak went down. Was it the Gravity Stone? (😂 The irony of Oak falling bc of their own invention is truly something.) I'm not sure force damage would leave a scar, tho. It was probably internal injuries that Espen healed. But they sustained other damage in that fight. A lot of it. Some other goons stabbed them. Bad day. Not to mention the fact BOTH ESPEN AND MOXIE fell too!!!! If their friends had died bc of the Icozrin, Oak would have been so so so so sad. It was terrifying.

🐞 (ladybug) - What does a perfect day look like for your oc? What do they do? Who do they see?

For Tarlyn, the perfect day would have been the day Ahlysaaria said "You've worked so hard and you've truly honored your den, Tarlyn. I will always be proud of you." 🥲 Lmao I mean, that's the short of it. If you could have entered his mind and seen his daydreams, you'd have seen his perfect day looked a little like this: Some magical invention of his is the breakthrough that revolutionizes weaponry manufacture in the Dynasty and puts the Kryn army at an undeniable advantage against their foreign enemies. He stands before the Bright Queen in the Lucid Bastion, she thanks him personally and by name, and as a reward, he is granted consecution and Den Icozrin is elevated into the ruling class. Everyone he knows witnesses this. His friends are jealous, Ymril is furiously envious, Galsariad wants him so bad; even Essek Thelyss, whom he's clearly surpassed on this perfect imaginary day, notices and admires him openly. His mother radiates with unmistakable pride. She cups his cheeks and kisses his forehead and hugs him tightly and lovingly in private, and tells him she'll always be proud of him. "You were absolutely perfect, darling," is the only feedback she gives him. Poor guy (gender neutral). Every one of those delusions could have been reality and he'd still have been miserable.

Now Oak's perfect day would look something like this: They wake up well-rested and in a comfy bed, and they're somewhere with nature, so they get to spend time outside, maybe foraging for some herbs (as they used to in Jigow), or harvesting them from a community garden (I can imagine Rosohna having some of these). They have breakfast and smoke their pipe in enjoyable company (in Jigow that'd be their family, in Rosohna their roommates, and now it's the Moonlighters), and get "productive." While a perfect day could easily be a work day (especially if they get to learn something new or do something they consider worthwhile, such as investigating Ruidium/helping Alyxian with the Moonlighters), an ideal day is not too taxing (or deadly!) and they get time to dedicate to craft projects. They get really in the zone and they're proud of their own art! Up until 10 days ago in game, Oak would have pictured making dinner, playing games and chilling with friends or family for the evening of a perfect day, but right now they would picture a date with Gal, having deep and nerdy conversations over dinner, and then they work on a spell or puzzle or a magical item or some riddles together. They talk loads and Oak gets to see sides of Gal few people know. There's lots of kissing, and they play with his hair and he hugs them tight. They cuddle.😳😳 (Oak kicks their feet picturing it) No bad luck befalls them or their loved ones on a perfect day, and they try their best to live by their values (be curious, be questioning, be understanding, be compassionate, be kind and be true to yourself). They give plenty of affection, and they feel loved and cared for in return. ♥️

[sword93]

I think I’m starting to actually believe I am actually autistic.

Thinking back, sure, I love talking and eye contact never really was a problem. But I think many other things are on the table.

Evidence:

1. I cannot ever conceive of ppl lying to me IRL, no matter how obvious it apparently is to everyone else.

It seems like many other ppl can become suspicious in the moment when someone may be being lying.

Me on the other hand, I take everything anyone says at 1000% face value. I can tell afterwards sometimes if I think about it and talk it out with someone.

I have said in frustration, verbatim “Why would anyone lie, I don’t lie, why would they?” Which leads to…

2. Gullibility

Do you all remember the sales guys at mall kiosks who would sell infomercial garbage at high prices?

Went to the mall in my twenties with my friend @frigginconfused several times and they can confirm, I always fell for these guys.

I just felt incredibly bad if someone was trying to talk to me and say something to me and I ignored them, then the “I can’t tell when ppl are lying” stuff kicks in and I’m told this is a great product, and they will do a special deal just for me!

Ended up buying junk more than once and afterwards realizing that I got played (it WOULD still keep happening!)

It was bad enough that Friggin had to literally coach me through ignoring those guys in trips taken afterward lmao.

3. I’m extremely prone to black and white judgement and have a strong sense of justice.

The latter as I have come to understand is also not really a good thing all the time. Because while it’s great for matters that are important and I am correct about, I’m not always….correct, and the e matters are not always important.

I’ll feel a similar righteous rage to a roommate not doing their tasks (or doing them “incorrectly”) to a legitimate societal issue. Which leads me to my other evidence.

4. Emotional dysregulation*.

This overlaps a lot with my ADHD, but I do think I feel things differently than other people. For me, it’s like my feelings are a bruised skin spot, I feel everything more intensely, good and bad, and have trouble not expressing those feelings to their full extent, or conversely, bottling them up bc I don’t know how to handle them.

5. I take things very literally. Which I have learned is a phrase that means I don’t see double meanings in people’s words, rather than I don’t understand metaphors…though sometimes I don’t understand metaphors. Like growing up I was always confused internally about what “Jesus lives in your heart” means.

At 6 I was like, that’s weird. Jesus is in heaven, yeah? He can’t be in there too. That’s weird.

So I imagined an Angel in heaven whose job it was to throw thousands of tiny Jesus dolls a day to earth to literally live in our actual physical hearts. Which was very scary to me, but I didn’t say anything bc no one else seemed bothered, so it was probably fine.

As I got older I realized well the doll thing isn’t it. And I never really thought about it and definitely on some level still took it very literally, at the very least that the presence of Jesus was in some metaphysical part of me, which also made me uncomfortable.

I haven’t thought about this in years but I did just now realize that no it’s like, Jesus being accepted into your heart means you are centering your entire life around him and his teachings. Like when a new sith apprentice pledges to the teaches of their sith master.

Wow that makes way more sense.😩 literally just realized that as I typed this. Fuck me, man !!!

I’m out the rest of this post is canceled.

[1kook]

kissanime & foreplay

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings; mentions of hentai yes u read right, kook leads most of it, cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc; more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 wc; 8.2k

notes; back when kissanime was offed I remember looking at this fic in the drafts like what the hell we gone do now.. n almost deleting it but I was like yknow what this isn’t a 1kook fic unless there’s smthn weird going on so here we are. also yes I know ohshc is on Netflix shut up!!!!! 

HAPPY BDAY MY LOVE AND MUSE JEON JUNGKOOK !!!! 🥺💜

—

The good thing about getting your own apartment is that you finally have a place to call your own. There’s no limit on how many potted plants you can squeeze into a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment, and if there was one, you’re twelve in and no one has said anything to you yet. You don’t have to share the shower space with anyone, label all your products with a hastily scribbled name. There’s a bathtub—something you haven’t had the pleasure of using during college—and a fairly open living space. There’s so many empty spots to fill with useless decorations and family heirlooms and that ugly plastic rooster Jungkook won you at the summer kick-off fair last month.

The bad thing about having your own place is that the entire world and their mothers seem to know now. Despite graduating from college, you still keep in touch with your trusted graduate mentor Kim Namjoon, who is still very much in school, and has made it his mission to bring you a new plant every week, hence your growing collection. Your childhood friend comes over every Saturday morning to lounge around after her Friday nights out. Jungkook, although the only one who is ever actually invited, runs through your strawberry scented body wash like a madman.

And of course, Doyeon.

Your beloved college roommate of four years, Kim Doyeon, has been the bane of your apartment experience so far. Unlike you, who had slaved away for four years, saving every penny you made during college for this moment, Doyeon was a big spender. She blew every dollar she ever came across, which is why she’s going to be stuck living at her parent’s house for at least a couple more years.

Nothing wrong with that, of course, if she wasn’t the most maniac online shopper in existence. It hadn’t been a problem in college because she was always good old pals with the students who worked the mailroom. If they saw something questionable, they’d let it slide as long as it was under Miss Kim Doyeon, Room 229.

The reason it became an issue for her now is because it’s poor Mrs. Kim who signs over the package from Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! one Tuesday afternoon as it is delivered to their suburban home.

So now she’s taken to ordering all her freaky stuff to your new apartment, where the small cabinet by the door has quickly become home to her impulsive shopping habits. Truthfully, you don’t mind accepting Doyeon’s weird packages, and have long since grown used to the uncomfortable looks the mail carrier gives you.

Jungkook’s supposed to come over today and you really hope he doesn’t ask about the state of your hall cabinet. Now that you work at a small company outside of your degree to make ends meet, time with Jungkook has been significantly decreased. You weren’t in college anymore, so you didn’t have the luxury of dropping by his house whenever you wanted to in between classes. Of course, it’s mostly your schedule that conflicts with your planned hangouts, because Jungkook is still working his dream job from home.

However, because Jungkook is quite possibly the most amazing person on this planet, he’s started coming over every Saturday night to make sure you’re still alive and not dying. And so weekly media binges are a thing, and it’s currently week four.

He gave up on showing you the Marvel movie franchise last week, after you had asked where Wonder Woman was three times in a row. Since the Barbie Movie Debacle of last month, you’ve found a nice medium between who picks when. Jungkook picks most of the time, because most of the time you don’t really care. It’s become a running joke between the two of you that movie binges are usually just terribly masked excuses to go to town on each other, so you don’t mind missing an entire 15th Century French Revolution documentary if it means Jungkook is deep in your guts by the time King Louis XIV gets beheaded or whatever they did to him. Is it too obvious you didn’t watch the documentary?

Occasionally, there are instances where one of you genuinely does want to watch something, in which case you have an intense match of rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s picking that night. Most of the time, Jungkook wins. But for every match Jungkook wins, he promises you’ll pick the next one so you’ve long since stopped trying to actually beat him.

Long story short, last weekend you sat through a two part Ancient Aliens episode on the connection between aliens and American presidents.

It was the most god-awful conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of, but Jungkook ate up every minute of it. By the time the two hosts announced their conclusion you were just about ready to rip your own ears off and single-handedly fist fight every producer on the channel for allowing the production of such an atrocious show.

Anyway, because you had so bravely sat through the entire evening without complaints— well, no complaints towards Jungkook’s terrible taste; the show, however, was not safe from your wicked tongue —Jungkook has so graciously allowed you to pick the media for this weekend.

You’ve been telling him for the longest time that you were going to hook him on anime. It was one of the few interests you always believed Jungkook should possess, being a weeb and all, because it was only fair that he had one questionable trait to balance out the rest of his perfection. Liking anime isn’t bad— if a hottie like you enjoyed it, then it obviously had its perks. However, you know a lot of other people are turned off by anime-enthusiasts due to preconceived notions of the genre and the viewer-base.

Now, it was a widely known fact that you always had ulterior motives. So maybe turning Jungkook into a weeb was just a ploy to turn other women off from him and keep your jealousy at bay. Sue you, your boyfriend was a walking wet dream, and you’d do anything to keep him to yourself.

After long deliberation, you’ve decided on introducing Jungkook to anime with a classic: Ouran High School Host Club, a god among anime, a true Beyonce among shoujos. The only problem was that you absolutely refused to pay Crunchyroll or Funimation when you could so easily find the entire show on KissAnime.com, home to only the finest of hentai ads and Are You a Robot? questions.

He sends you a text when he’s outside your building, and five minutes later there’s a rap against your door.

“Hi,” you smile up at him, heart fluttering in that same trademark way it did whenever Jungkook was within a five foot radius. He smiles back softly, leaning down to peck your lips as you step aside for him to enter. He’s got on those cotton sweats that you love, the ones that send your brain into a censored frenzy. But he’s also got that soft curl to his hair that lets you know he came here straight out of the shower in his hurry to see you. How you managed to bag a dream boyfriend like him was beyond you.

You bask in the overwhelming feeling of unannounced love for all of ten seconds before Jungkook is lifting up a square package you hadn’t seen at his hip. “Mailman gave me this,” he says, waving around the signature bright pink packaging of Sexuality Unleashed. Jungkook, for all his politeness and respect, seemed to falter in those categories when it came to you. He turns the box over, reading the big fat name of the company on the side. “Since when did you start buying sex toys?” he asks rather loudly in the hallway.

You yank him inside, hurriedly slamming the door shut before any of your neighbors can come out into the hallway and get a peek of this avid sex toy consumer. “They’re not mine!” you hiss, standing still when he uses you to balance himself as he tugs off his shoes. You snatch the box out of his hands, turning it around to make sure it is actually addressed to your home. Sure enough, it’s for you. Couldn’t there have been some other sex toy fanatic on this floor?

With his shoes off, Jungkook wastes no time enveloping you in a hug, the Sexuality Unleashed box tumbling to the ground. “It’s okay, baby, no need to be embarrassed.”

You groan, leaning your forehead against his shoulder as he continues to pat your back like you’re actually embarrassed to be caught buying toys— you’re not. You’re embarrassed he caught you with a sex toy you simply can’t put to use. “Whatever,” you sigh, “your gross popcorn is in my bedroom and it’s probably stale.”

He releases you, not before pulling you into a slow and languid kiss that has you clutching tightly at the front of his shirt. He pulls away with a soft smooch, right eye falling into a wink. “Bring the box, gorgeous,” he teases, before sauntering off in the direction of your bedroom.

You groan loudly. “It’s not mine!” you repeat, but for some reason do as he says.

Not only do you have no idea what’s in this package, but you’re frankly not too keen on finding out. You’re more interested in Jungkook’s reaction to one of your favorite animes of all time. The package is tossed onto the end of the bed, where Jungkook has already stripped himself of his socks and cuddled beneath your covers.

Your laptop has gone dark from inactivity so you slam down on the space bar to bring it back to life. Your first mistake was pressing anything at all. It flickers back on alright, but you forget that you are working with a minefield of ads ready to explode. You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans.

“What the hell is this?” he asks in a tone that screams he has never had to fight viruses off his computer just to watch something at two in the morning.

You ignore him, cuddling into his side as you hurriedly type in the title of the anime before another annoying ad can intercept you. “KissAnime,” you answer for now, accidentally clicking down on the mousepad with the heel of your palm. Another tab opens up to some sketchy credit site. You huff.

“Baby, I swear I just saw like twelve viruses,” he says. “And what even are these?” he scoffs, jabbing a finger at one of the many ads that lines the perimeter of the website. “Animated teacher porn?”

By the grace of god, you somehow manage to get onto the episode selection screen without having another tab open on you. You smile in relief, turning the power of your excitement onto Jungkook… only to find his eyes narrowed in on the square advertisement for some hentai website. “What? You wanna watch hentai now?” you snort, placing the laptop on his legs as you cuddle into his side.

Jungkook sputters, cheeks tinting red at the mere insinuation he would ever consume such media. “No,” he glares, releasing the arm around your shoulders to huffily cross them over his chest. “I am not going to watch anatomically incorrect illustrations of a woman teacher relieving herself, ___,” he says rather matter-of-factly.

You snort, repeating, “a woman teacher,” mockingly and in a high pitched voice that, honestly, doesn't sound anything like him. You click play on the video box that appears after only about twenty more pop-up ads. “Silence, you nymphomaniac, the episode is starting.” Jungkook pulls you close with a displeased expression, finally quieting down when you put it on full screen and the ads disappear from his view.

You’re beginning to wonder if Jungkook really is the script and plot dissector he claims to be, or if he just lives to get under your skin. He doesn’t make it three minutes without finding something to critique. First it’s the quality of the frames, and then it’s the characterization of the lead character. He nitpicks everything about the best anime in existence, and by the end of the first episode you’re considering breaking up with him.

“Oh my god,” you groan, tearing yourself away from him. He’s all laid up against your mountain of pillows, tongue prodding at the insides of his mouth in that ridiculously attractive habit of his. Usually, you’d be tripping over yourself to kiss him, but you’re about two seconds from ripping his head off. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, baby,” you sigh, picking up his hand in yours. “You gotta shut up.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I have to shut up?” he asks in a scandalized tone. “You sang through the entire intro, off tune may I add.”

At this rate you’re getting nowhere, so you just snatch the laptop back up before you actually hurt his feelings. You escape the full screen, met with those hentai ads that are slowly becoming the bane of Jungkook’s existence.

“Who actually watches those anyway?” he mumbles, covering the sidebar full of naked cartoon ladies with his palm for you, a real gentleman if you ever saw one. “Really?” he says, knocking his pointer finger against a particularly raunchy ad with the caption Be a Good Boy and Let her Play beneath it.

You snort. “You are such a baby,” you tease, pinching his cheek much to his annoyance. “What? Can’t handle seeing some anime titties?”

Jungkook shoves your hand away, leaning back to become one with the pillows as you continue onto the next episode. “They’re just weird,” he admits. “And make unrealistic faces.”

“Unrealistic,” you repeat, finally giving one of the ads the time of day. There’s an adorably drawn character making the most perverted expression, knees hiked up to her chest. Her face is twisted up, drooling like a dog and with her eyes crossed in ecstasy. You shrug. “Just because you can’t get those faces out of me doesn’t mean they’re unreal.”

The second the words leave your mouth Jungkook is letting out a scandalized scoff, sitting up to level you with another glare. “First of all, I can get you like that,” he defends, tapping his finger against the ad on screen. “In fact, I can get you like that without even trying, so let’s not say anything too drastic now, okay?”

His sudden bout of defensiveness makes something playful in you switch on, laying back down beside him with a smirk. “Oh, you can make me all stupid like this?”

Jungkook scoffs. “Yes.”

“Uh huh,” you drawl, tracing a finger up his chest teasingly; Jungkook knocks your knuckles away, obviously still butt hurt about your comment. That’s fine, because a slightly riled up Jungkook was always the best Jungkook. You sit up and lean in close, letting your hand slip beneath his hoodie, palm running over his bare shoulder and around the top of his back. You give his nape a light squeeze, lips pressed against the shell of his ear. “Why don’t you prove it to me, Jungkookie?” you purr, before pulling away.

His jaw twitches at the nickname, one shapely brow unconsciously arching as he regards you with a calculative expression.

The thing about Jungkook was that, after almost a year of dating, you know just how to push his buttons. He has a rather calm and collected exterior to him, the same one he’s had since the day you met him, but beneath it all was a childish competitiveness that raged with the heat of ten suns. He disliked being taunted like you were doing now, especially when his credibility was at stake.

Honestly speaking, you don’t doubt Jungkook can make you look as goofy and messy as those hentai ads. In fact you’re rather confident he can. Either way, him being right or you being right, you would still get some fun out of it.

“Hm?” you add, tracing your hand up to dance over the skin of his cheek, pads of your fingers running over that stiff jaw. “Are you scared I’m right and you’re wrong?”

A hand snaps up to catch your wrist, fingers tight around your skin until you’re shivering against him. “Oh baby, I can make you cum until you cry,” he murmurs, his usual sweet and lilting tone dropping to a low vibration that makes your pussy throb beneath your panties. Your heart leaps in your chest, lips falling open when he ducks down to brush them against yours. It’s too light, just a simple touch that makes you follow his mouth when he pulls back.

With one firm shove, the laptop is tumbling off the bed, thudding loudly against your bedside rug. Jungkook leans over you, his usual trademark doe eyes zeroed in on you with the focus of a laser. “Have a little faith in me,” he teases, and when he presses close you can feel his fattening cock flush against your thigh. Your body is begging to be touched, every brush of his fingers against your skin searing trails in their wake.

Suddenly, he’s drawing back. “Kook?” you frown, barely biting down on a childish whimper when he snuggles back into your mountain of pillows, one arm stretched behind his head.

He flashes you a smile. “Go on,” he says, arms behind his head. “Show me how to get you like that.”

“By myself?” you ask, shifting onto your knees anyway. Jungkook nods, a soft jut of his chin as he gives you another one of those easy going smiles of his. His goal seems a little unclear, but you had a ridiculous amount of trust in your boyfriend that whatever he had planned was certain to be good. With one final skeptical glance his way, you sink down onto your bum, knees spreading and giving him a clear view of your little pink boy shorts, elastic band hugging your waist.

The material of your t-shirt is guided away, held to your chest by the hand currently not traversing the length of your stomach, gliding across soft skin, over your belly button and past that band until it slips beneath. You chance another look Jungkook’s way, only to find his eyes wonderfully downcast in the direction of your core. That smile is gone now, replaced with a somber look as he watches your hand move mysteriously beneath the fabric of your undergarments.

The first brush of your forefinger against your swollen button makes you twitch, back arching at the sensation that is magnified by his watchful gaze. “Mmh,” you bite down, hand twisting in the material of your shirt. Jungkook’s eyes glare a molten path across your skin, from the comfy bra that peeks out from beneath your rumpled shirt to the wrist slowly working beneath your panties.

A hand falls over your thigh, tattooed fingers giving the skin a light squeeze as you get to work swirling your bud around. The sight of his inked skin on yours makes something warm blossom in your lower abdomen, your eyes following the inky swirls up, up, up. They lead you to the face of your very handsome boyfriend, long lashes fanning across his cheekbones as he watches you play with yourself. “Wanna take these off for me?” he says, the tip of his pointer finger wiggling beneath the fabric of your shorts.

You nod hurriedly, wiggling around on the bed until you’re on your back, legs bent in front of you. The shorts come down your legs; the simplest press of your thighs makes something quiver in your abdomen. You toss them off to the side, and just as you go to sit back up, Jungkook places a hand on your knee. “Stay like this for me,” he says, sitting up from his mountain of pillows to glance down at you. You melt into the plush mattress beneath you, staring down at him between your legs. He’s got that adoring look in his eyes, the one that makes you feel so warm and in love, it’s only natural your hand slips down to play with your bare clit again. “That’s my girl,” he smiles, rubbing a hand down the outside of your thigh, urging your legs to fall open.

There’s this overflowing vat of arousal that builds up inside of you everytime Jungkook is around, like the moment your eyes land on him you’re reminded of every position he’s ever had you in. You remember the soft brush of his hands on your body, the way his lips feel on yours, the soft tickle of his hair when he gets too close. It makes your heart lurch in your chest, like if you don’t grab onto him tightly this feeling will slip through your fingers and out of your life. So you were crazily in love with your boyfriend— now what?

A puckered set of lips meets the inside of your thigh, the action ripping you from your overly gooey, overly soft inner rambling. Your hand trails down your quivering pussy lips, collecting your dripping wetness as you go. At the same time, Jungkook kisses down the inside of your thigh, soft smacks of his lips against your skin filling the air with an emotion that makes you bite down a whimper. Your hole puckers at the brush of your fingers, anticipating an entrance that you yearn to give into soon.

His mouth is on you before your finger can go deeper than a centimeter in. But Jungkook doesn’t brush your hand off, doesn’t shove you away to prove his mouth was undoubtedly better. He places a kiss over your knuckles, before swallowing up your significantly smaller hand with his, that of which he clasps together over your navel.

You groan, head rolling from side to side. “Don’t be so soft with me,” you whine, leg twitching when he presses a kiss against your engorged bundle of nerves. “Push me around like that one time, you know I like it.”

Jungkook grins, mouthing over your clit with practiced ease that has you releasing all kinds of whimpers and sighs. He’s got his other hand wrapped around your thigh, strong arm pulling you closer to that devious mouth and tongue that lavished attention on your clit. “Need me to be mean to you, baby?” he purrs, curling his tongue in such a way that it makes your entire body tense up, muscles pulled tight. “Want me to push you around like the stupid little girl you are?” You moan, head bobbing up and down at the ideas he stuffs in your mind. As he moves down the length of your cunt, that round nose you love brushes against your bud, and the cheeky shit takes an obnoxiously loud sniff of it, a soft groan breathed against your lower lips. “But isn’t this better?” he hums, languidly molding his lips against your lower ones, much in the same way he does with the ones on your face; he moves slowly, slips his tongue in every few seconds before eventually diving in head on. “Slow... and so easy.”

“Kook,” you mewl, getting this overwhelming urge to cover your face with your hands. But you can’t, because he’s knotted one hand with yours and his fingers only tighten when you try to yank them apart. Instead you’re left pressing one knuckle against your mouth, brows pinching as he begins slowly fucking his tongue into your cunt. “F-Faster,” you beg. He, of course, ignores your plea.

The wet mass moves past the clenched muscles around your hole, nose brushing against your lips with every intrusion. Every few cycles he stops to press a kiss against your pussy, so hard and wet that it hurts when he pulls off. You’re left writhing and moaning, your heel knocking against his shoulder when he pushes your leg up closer to your chest. “It’s enough,” you cry, your entire body shivering.

Jungkook pulls off with a loud pop, lips glistening with your arousal. He’s got this glint on his eyes, like he’s thoroughly entertained by your reactions. He shuffles around to get comfortable, finally releasing that grip on your hand. Immediately, your newly freed hand jumps forward to tangle in the hair above his ear, tracing down the delicate curve of his cheekbone. Jungkook turns his head, pressing a soft peck against your open palm that makes your heartbeat thunder in your ears.

As he moves around, his leg bumps against something that has both of you pausing. It sounds out of place next to your shallow breaths, and both of you glance down only to catch sight of that stupid package from Sexuality Unleashed teetering on the edge of the bed.

The moment you see it, it’s like you’re transported into an omnipresent view of the scene, the next few hours flashing before your eyes as Jungkook snorts. You know he’s going to reach for it in two seconds, and you know he’s going to tear the hot pink packaging apart with his bare hands. He does so with a scary amount of power, the industrial tape not standing a chance against him. A box roughly the same size as the package falls out, and before you can kick it away and save yourself from suffering beneath Jungkook’s teasing antics, he’s snatching up the box.

“The Bullet Bestie,” he reads aloud, dark eyes flying across the text with lightning speed before that box is also being ripped open. (Briefly, there’s a voice in your head that thinks of Doyeon, but you’re not sure why.) Out tumbles a little pink bullet with a strap on one end that bounces against your thigh and an even smaller remote.

“Baby,” you rush out, the sight of the tiny toy making your heart thunder in your chest. “We can look at it another time,” you try, hands coming up to brush against his face again. “Why don’t you finish off here?” you ask, a sickeningly sweet politeness dripping off your tongue as the knot in your tummy fades into the background of his attention.

Jungkook ignores you, picking up the remote with a wondrous look in his eyes. Before you can try to persuade him back between your legs, a quiet click cuts you off and the little bullet whirls to life. You yelp at the sudden vibrations against the inside of your thigh, so close to your throbbing core. The jump of your thighs has it falling onto the mattress below you, wide eyes snapping back to the smirk that grows on his face.

“No,” you say slowly, sitting back up, “no, no,” you try, your usual assertiveness melting into a whiny cry as you try to wiggle away from him and the nefarious ideas infesting his lust-addled mind. You’re barely turning, ready to make a run for it and hand him his victory by forfeit, when Jungkook is catching you by the waist. Your hips get pulled up, arms clawing uselessly at the sheets beneath you as he drags you close to him. He’s fast, already having moved onto his knees behind you, and when he yanks you up, you can feel every hot plane of his body aligned with your backside. “Kook, please just make me cum,” you gasp.

There’s a smile pressed against your shoulder, lips still wet from before, kissing along the side of your neck. “Look at my girl,” he murmurs, and you nearly jump out of your skin when something smooth is traced along your thigh. One hand slips beneath the material of your shirt, soothingly rubbing circled against your skin. This hand also holds the tiny remote between two fingers, and every nerve in your body is on edge waiting for it to be used. “Where’s that smartmouth now?”

“Jungkook,” you try to warn. But there’s no bite to your words, only an anticipation that grows the closer he moves that damned toy between your thighs. “Baby, we-we can play another time, okay? Just please—“

A soft click, and suddenly your spine is giving out on you, upper body flopping forward as Jungkook runs the vibrations over your clit. Of course Jungkook follows, never letting you slip far from his reach. A loud moan spills from your lips, lower lip wobbling at the unreal amounts of pleasure he bestows upon you with such a small toy. “W-Wait,” you sob, the coil from before suddenly magnified tenfold. It makes your orgasm loom over you bigger than ever, a wave that threatens to spill over and drown you in one go. “No-please.”

His mouth presses against your ear, hot breaths fanning against the skin there. “Hey pretty girl, does it feel good?” he husks out, kissing just below your ear. “Aw fuck,” he groans, something stiff pressing against the cleft between your cheeks, “can’t even see if you’re making that stupid face right now.”

You are, but you don’t even have the words to tell him that. The moment the vibrator had made contact with your already ravished clit, your eyes had rolled into the back of your head. You don’t doubt you look like those silly ads you’d laughed at earlier, mouth opening and closing every few seconds as he circles the toy around your bud. You settle on a high-pitched whimper that has Jungkook laughing meanly against your ear.

It ends too soon, the stimulation from Jungkook eating you out for a few minutes combining with the bullet to form a powerful duo that swallows you whole. An embarrassingly loud moan rips itself from your throat, hands twisting in the sheets beneath you as it washes over you. It’s so powerful, it blinds you, pussy spasming. Jungkook’s name is repeated about a thousand times in between, your body eventually melting back into the mattress as the final shocks run through you.

The vibrator clicks off just as quietly as it turned on, your harsh breaths filling the room in its place. “Good girl,” Jungkook praises, raining down a parade of kisses against your shoulder. You mewl in appreciation, still awkwardly shoving your face into the mattress, and your hips in the air. From the corner of your eyes, you watch him set the glistening toy off to the side, and you’re just about ready to thank the heavens for such an experience with your boyfriend, when said boyfriend hits you with a curveball.

The gentle pecks against yours shoulder dissolve into harsh kisses, rough hands trailing up your waist. The t-shirt gathers around his knuckles, pushed and pushed until he’s got those same hands cupping your breasts. “Did you like that?” he asks, biting down against your shoulder; the sensation is dulled by your shirt being in the way but it still makes you whine. You moan softly, nodding against the mattress as he gets to kneading your breasts over your bra. “Mm,” Jungkook sighs, “my pretty girl was so good for me, wasn’t she?”

Those deft fingers run back down, crawl beneath the elastic of your lounge bra and push it away until your breasts are bouncing out of their cage. “Kook,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut as he traces circles around your nipples. “W-Wait,” you whimper, suddenly reminded of the swollen cock pressed against your backside when he leans closer.

“Shhh,” he soothes, tweaking your nipples. “Relax for me, sweetheart,” he coos, flicking your hardened nipples with his fingers. You can’t relax, not with your body still so sensitive and him playing with you. Still, the low intonation makes something soft and warm settle in your chest, the kisses against your jaw making your eyes fall shut. “That’s it,” he says, giving one nipple a playful twist that draws a high-pitched moan from you.

Just as you’re beginning to fall into the rhythm of Jungkook’s caresses and voice, he releases one breast to traverse his hand down and over your tummy, to your sensitive pussy. You gasp, biting down on your lip as he teasingly flicks your clit with his fingers. “Bet you could come again now,” he murmurs, taking the tip of your earlobe into his mouth and nibbling softly. You groan, shoving your face into the sheets as if that will save you from your doom. “Bet your pretty little pussy can cream itself just like this, isn’t that right, sweet girl?”

You whimper, hips bucking back against him when he begins nudging your bud, lewd sounds reaching your ears. His other hand remains on your breast, no longer toying with your nipple but simply holding it almost comfortingly. There’s a smirk pressed against your skin, that pearly white smile you usually adore so much teasing you as he circles your nub.

“Come on,” he encourages quietly, kissing up the column of your neck again. You moan, thighs quivering as he strokes a second orgasm out of you with no struggle. Your eyes and throat burn at the heat that washes over you, and you release a hoarse scream into the mattress— Jungkook chuckles at the sound, egging you on with that low voice until your muscles go limp a second time.

When he rolls you onto your stomach again, you try desperately to cover the tears that blur your vision, turning away from him like a child when he tries to look. “Crybaby, crybaby,” he sings teasingly, prying your hands away to capture your mouth with his for the first time that night. “Lemme see those tears, baby,” he purrs.

He tastes like you, tongue dripping with that sweet tang of your pussy, and he smells like you too. It strokes the flames of you ego, arms eventually wrapping around his shoulders as he settles above you. He pulls off with a curl of his tongue against your swollen lips, brown eyes lazily staring down at you. It’s embarrassing how well kept he still was compared to your half-nude state of dress. His skin is all glowy and pretty, not a single tear track in sight, and his grin is still too relaxed for your liking.

Jungkook’s body feels so warm and comforting against yours, muscles keeping the heat trapped between your bodies. You go to brush a hand through his hair, needing to feel the familiarity of those silky locks, before he’s suddenly leaning away. He shuffles onto his knees again, glancing down at your thoroughly abused cunt with a quirk in his brows.

“God,” you groan, knocking your foot against his side. “Just fuck me already,” you huff despite your earlier fatigue. You could only go so long without feeling Jungkook’s fat demon cock inside of you.

He snorts at your snappy tone, cutely tilting his head to the side to move his hair out of his face. His jaw looks sharp from this angle, facial features covered in shadows the lamplight behind him can’t touch. “Can’t,” he announces, and you could pull your hair out from all this unnecessary build up.

Truth to be told, you and Jungkook were both equally as unrestrained when it came to each other. Most of the time, the lead up to actual, penetrative, key-in-lock sex included a couple minutes of heavy petting from his end, and maybe a half assed handjob from you. Sometimes if you felt extra attentive, he’d eat you out and you'd him off. But for the most part, the two of you jumped straight into it after an orgasm, like horny teenagers despite the two of you being twenty-three now.

The most adventurous you’d ever gotten up until the point was maybe two orgasms bestowed upon you by a crazed Jungkook. And, well. You had hit two orgasms now. You were ready for his monster cock.

“Kook,” you whine childishly.

Jungkook shakes you off, placing a palm on both your knees. Slowly, he spreads your thighs apart again, eyes zeroed in on the glossy folds that come into view, the sparkling pearly cum that leaks out of your hole. “I can’t, baby,” he says, almost pained. “I gotta clean you up first,” he insists, and before you can tell him how counterproductive it is to lick you clean of your arousal before fucking you, he’s diving face first into your cunt.

But the biggest surprise doesn’t come from Jungkook going in for thirds, but from the hands he clasps around your thighs, the sheer strength he uses to roll you over (ignoring the shriek you let out) to sit you on his face. “No, no,” you yelp immediately, “I-I‘ll break you,” you cry, trying to escape from his hold.

From beneath your thighs, dark eyes peering up at you daringly, you can see the clear warning on Jungkook’s face. It’s a look that loudly says don’t you dare fucking move, shapely brows sending a jolt of genuine fear down your spine for a moment. “Jungkook,” you fret, trying to ignore the arousal that only continues to blossom as his tongue laps against your folds for the second time that night. “I’m, I’m,” you stammer, hands burying themselves in his hair as he ignores your cries. “I’ll break you,” you try again, spine arching when he slurps your clit into his mouth. “I-I’ll—“

He pulls off with a pop. “Fuck my face, baby,” he says, as if he hadn’t heard a single of your concerns at all. His nose nudges against your clit, a whimper catching in your throat. Briefly, his hand disappears from around your thigh, and when it returns, that tiny bullet vibrator from earlier is pressed against your thigh. “You got that?”

You nod, internally torn apart by your fear of crushing him and your need to drag your cunt all over your boyfriend’s handsome face. You glance down at him, watch him slip that vibrator into his mouth for just a second and lewdly coat it in his saliva, before he’s reaching around to shove it past your pussy lips. They’re still swollen and puffy, but have long since relaxed enough for him to slip it in. “B-But what if—“

“You won’t,” he cuts off, readjusting himself closer to your cunt again, “come on, pretty girl.”

The reason you think you and Jungkook click so well was because he was able to bring that vulnerable side out of you every now and then. He knew you liked to parade around with that huge superiority complex, and he loved it. But he also knew there were things you liked and disliked, and sometimes it took a little pushing for you to reveal them.

For a second, that horny cloud over his irises lifts, and he gives you one of those cute, sloppy winks as he taps your thigh gently. “Fuck my face, sweetheart,” he whispers, “drag that pretty cunt all over me until I can’t breathe.” A gasp catches in your throat, hands unconsciously curling against his scalp. He notices, and flashes you a lazy smirk. “You can do that, can’t you?”

Something akin to adoration blooms in your chest, and before you can blurt out something embarrassing—like I love you—there’s a soft click that has The Bullet Bestie revving up inside of you. You gasp, the sudden vibrations deep inside your pussy making your hips snap forward, clit rubbing against Jungkook’s nose.

“O-Oh,” you cry, and that’s all it takes for you to lose it. Your hips start off slow, at first just savoring the wet drag of his tongue against your lips, his nose against your clit. He sticks his tongue out for you, and part of you wants to tell him he’s a good boy, that corny hentai ad flashing in your mind, but you doubt you’ll survive the aftermath of that. Once you find that perfect pace, your hands are practically yanking at his hair, pushing him further into the mattress as you ride his face like he’s nothing but a toy. “Kook, Jungkook,” you pant, grinding your lower lips against his all too eager mouth.

It feels oddly weird being over him like this, using him like this. You like to think you and Jungkook have equal power in the bedroom, but you will admit that more often than not, he assumes control by default. You’re not particularly bothered by that, because you doubt you’d ever come up with the crazy ideas Jungkook did when he was horny (okay, a lie, because you definitely have thought of crazy sex schemes before).

But, this moment…

The power was quickly going to your head. “Fuck,” you sob, roughly dragging the length of your pussy over and over his face. The hands around your thighs are pressing against your skin with a strength that would hurt were you not blinded by arousal. His eyes are shut, lids fluttering open every now and then as he watches you buck wildly over his face like he was a pillow in high school and your parents were gone for the weekend.

It doesn’t help that the rhythmic pulses of the vibrator inside of you are doing their job well, the tongue that slips into your pussy joining together to form a powerful combination. It’s ultimately what has you halting your manic thrusts, instead falling into a slow grind over him. Your hips circle, eyes squeezed shut as you lose yourself in the lapping of his tongue against your dripping hole. “Mmmf,” you mewl, biting down on your lower lip as the wet muscle prods against a delicate spot within you. You hear feels light, view of the gorgeous man beneath you obstructed by the eyelids that can't seem to stay open. “N-No,” you cry, pulling his hair more roughly than you intended to in order to redirect him. “There, there,” you whimper, holding him tight against your pussy.

Beneath you, Jungkook exhales harshly against your lips, hands moving frantically over your thighs as he works his tongue inside of you alongside the bullet vibrator. If you weren’t so caught up in your own pleasure, all kinds of sounds spilling from your lips, you would have heard the quiet moans that fall from his. Alas.

It takes a few more pulses from the toy and a few more licks from Jungkook until you’re coming for the third time that night, features twisting up as your pussy clenches around his tongue before spilling down his mouth. Your back arches, a defeated moan escaping you as you release the same mess he’d claimed to clean up onto his lovely face. You can barely breathe afterwards, mouth dry and head dizzy when Jungkook finally pops back out from between your thighs. You barely have enough time to lift yourself up, pussy lightly brushing across his Adam’s apple as you stop yourself from crushing his windpipe. It makes you twitch.

“Good girl,” Jungkook praises with a cheeky smile that distracts you from the bullet toy he retrieves from your quivering cunt. His face is absolutely glistening from your arousal, skin warm and flush. He’s looking up at you like you’re some mythical goddess and he’s but a humble villager coming to pay his respects at the temple that is your body. Fuck, were you okay? You don’t think you’ve ever felt this good in your entire life, and Jungkook’s mushy gaze was doing things to your heart.

He presses a kiss against the inside of your thigh before helping you off of him, laughing meanly when you flop limply down beside him. He’s still fully clothed, a fact that irks you when he leans over to kiss you with that glossy face of his. “D’you like it?” he mumbles, kissing softly down your face. You nod, legs twitching from the aftermath of that wild ride. “I saw it, y’know,” he says suddenly.

“Saw what?” you mumble, mindlessly rolling your head to the side and exposing more skin when he begins kissing along your neck.

Jungkook says nothing, just rolls over you. Part of you thinks he’s crazy, but you’re suddenly hit with the realization that while Jungkook’s drawn three orgasms out of you in the course of an hour, you hadn’t done anything for him. Before you can dive head first into swallowing his cock, he’s kissing you softly. “That stupid face,” he smirks, slotting his mouth against yours. “That weird, now realistic face,” he tacks on.

You huff out a laugh, throwing your leg around his waist comfortably. Jungkook smiles, kisses you one last time before settling in your arms, face cutely pressed in between your boobs. “Hey,” you call, “don't you wanna cum too?”

He shakes his head, a soft sigh filling the air. “Nah,” he says, cuddles closer into you. “Rest now, baby.”

You roll your eyes. “I can feel your dick against my thigh,” you point out, wiggling your pelvis upward to brush against his throbbing erection. Jungkook holds you down in an effort to stop you. “Fuck me.”

He groans against your collarbone. “No, you’re tired,” he tries to convince you, but his skin is warm and flushed in the way it always gets when he’s riled up. “Sleep.”

With the leg around his hip, you pull him closer. “Fuck me, Jungkookie,” you purr, using the hands in his hair to turn his face up towards yours. His dark eyes are drawn down cutely, pouty lips too. “Use my body,” you suggest, “I’m yours anyway.”

His eyes flutter shut, a quiet whimper falling from his lips. “Don’t say that,” he sighs, “makes me wanna do very mean things to you.”

You smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, don’t you know that?” Another groan, his head falling forward until he’s hiding in your neck. Still, there’s movement from below, he sweats slipping down at his hips until that throbbing cock is pressed into the tiny crease where your thigh meets your pelvis. There’s a moment of hesitation, and you wonder if this is what he felt like earlier when he’d managed to get you to sit on his face. “Inside, Jungkookie,” you murmur, reaching down to line him up with your sensitive entrance. He whines softly, arms wrapping around you as he pulls you close. “Good boy.”

Despite your earlier belief that you’d never survive an encounter with Jungkook after using such a term on him, the result is much different from what you had anticipated. He visibly melts into your arms, cock slipping past your folds easily. “No,” he says, his voice feathery and whiny against your ear. “I can’t.”

You soothe a hand down his back, eyes fluttering shut as he begins slowly rutting against your swollen lips. “That’s it,” you encourage, tugging softly at his wavy hair. Jungkook moans wantonly against your neck, rolling his hips harshly against you until his arms are the only things keeping you from jostling out of his hold. “Do you like this pussy?” you ask, purposefully clenching around him, tummy tightening at the stimulation you keep packing on.

Jungkook shudders, pace growing slipping inside of you. “Yes,” he pants, “s-so wet… creamy.”

“Yeah?” you huff, pressing a smiley kiss against his forehead. “It’s yours.”

“Ffffuck,” Jungkook chokes, picking up his pace as his well-deserved orgasm reaches its peak. He’s breathing harshly now, and it’s taking everything in you to keep your pussy tight around him. But after the night he’d given you, the sounds and faces he pulled from you, it’s the least you can do. Besides, your body, after being so thoroughly pleased, still rears up for one final orgasm with him. “Mine,” he growls, bucking his hips into you. “You’re mine, baby, mine,” he seethes, ending his little tryst with a piston of his hips that makes you gasp, body almost unconsciously spasming around him. It’s painful, but so, so delicious how he manages to pull this last orgasm from you as he finally busts inside of you.

He comes with a stuttering garble of words, none of which you catch as he collapses into your hold for the final time that night. “Fuck,” he pants afterwards, leaning into your touch when he finally registers the soft combing of fingers through his hair. “That was evil.”

You laugh, pulling him closer. “As evil as you making me suffer through three orgasms before putting your dick in me?” you tease. Jungkook slips out of you, and you know it’ll be a hassle to clean your sheets tomorrow but it’s worth it.

“It’s called building the scene,” he weakly defends, blindly tugging the puffy blanket over the two of you. “I was gonna rhyme it with that horrible website you made me use but I already forgot it’s name.”

“Rude,” you snap, “it’s called KissAnime.”

“And fore-play,” he suddenly says, and you almost yank his eyeballs out of their sockets for doing that stupid thing again.

—

epilogue 

Two weeks later, your favorite website and home to hentai ads is shut down after years of piracy. Jungkook laughs at your demise, sits and actually cackles at your heartbreak, until he eventually comforts you with his flaming demon cock and a subscription to both Crunchyroll and Funimation. Doyeon spends weeks tracking down a missing package, apparently some freebie she’d gotten for being such an avid customer on Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! before eventually finding it in your drawer. And because her and Jungkook have some awkward life-long rivalry for your attention, he doesn’t pay for that. 

—

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[fandom-monium]

i finished for the holidays and i just *chefs kiss* beautiful talented amazing sajkgdkj no words i love that romance wasnt even the main point 🥺💘 anyway i love how you write reader and i wondered between her and spencer who gets jealous???

Unrivaled

Summary: In which you seem pretty close with the new intern, and Spencer is not happy about it. (ft. one of my fave white bois) “Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

WC: 3.6k

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fluff, cussing, Jealous!Spencer bc id like to see that, established relationships (blegh), Garvez if you squint, the lightest implication of smut ever, points to yall who can guess who the intern is before reading the end or the tags 😉

—

Spencer is not jealous. He’s not.

Why would he be? 

He has no reason to be jealous, Spencer chants to himself as he sits at his desk. Even from across the bullpen he still manages to hear your voice, and while normally it’s music to his ears, even better than Mozart, now it just feels like nails against a chalkboard. Grating his eardrums, making him wince.

Because you’re laughing. Not with Spencer though. Not at his obscure references or lame jokes.

With the new intern.

Why did Emily have to put you in charge of him? She could’ve chosen anyone on the team to have him shadow, but it had to be you! Not that you’re incapable or unqualified; you’re experienced, talented, and the best person he knows. 

… Okay, he can see why she picked you.

Why do they even have interns? Unnecessary, really, when the BAU has you and him and he guesses the other teams too (it’s weird, he’s never actually interacted with them but whatever). Maybe it’s time to start making budget cuts. He’ll discuss this with Emily when he gets the chance. He’s got some influence, working at the BAU as long as he has.

But he’s not jealous. 

Logically, jealousy (like an intern) is unnecessary. The green-eyed monster (like an intern) is ugly and contributes nothing productive, and if Spencer’s being honest, the world (like an intern) would be much better off without it.

At least that’s what he keeps telling himself as he downs his coffee like a shot of whiskey, trying to quell the squirming beast in him. Despite 90% of it being sugar, it still tastes bitter. He sets his mug down with a thud, and it’s loud enough to make Luke, Garcia, and JJ turn their heads, exchanging concerned glances when he slumps back in his chair.

Spencer doesn’t care. The world’s ending; you’re apparently into younger guys, with neat dark hair and forearms that can probably snap someone’s neck, and he can’t do anything about it. What does it matter if his best friends catch him in a sour mood, right?

“Hey, Spence,” JJ's tone is soft as they slink over, Garcia and Luke leaning against the edge of his desk and JJ flanking the other side. “You alright?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer gazes past them, his eyes never leaving you. He deflates; your stance is relaxed, completely open as you nod at whatever Intern is saying, his hands gesturing spastically. It must be interesting, the way you listen with rapt attention and respond just as enthusiastic.

Spencer scoffs. Not like that’s anything special. You do the same for him. And the rest of the team.

...What the hell are you guys talking about? 

“Well, you look like you’re about to throw your mug across the room. Or at an intern.”

Spencer blinks, finally breaking away from you long enough to eye the ceramic octopus. “That’s a good idea actually.”

“Don’t,” Garcia and JJ both shoot him a warning and he huffs, resting his chin in his hand. Garcia looks horrified, betrayed even while JJ has that expression on, the one she gives when she scolds Henry and Michael.

Whatever. It’s not like he’d ever sacrifice Mildred. Garcia entrusted her to him, after all. 

Unless...?

No, he couldn’t… Maybe.

“You know, Reid, if you’re jealous—”

Spencer snaps his head to Garcia, eyes wide and darting to you like you have super-hearing, “Jealous? Who’s jealous? Not me.” He cringes, his voice octaves higher and cracking like a prepubescent boy.

Garcia snorts, “Okay, sure. But if you are jealous, I was going to say you have no reason to be. You wanna know why?” Spencer raises an eyebrow at her and she continues, “Sure the guy’s smart enough to get a full-ride scholarship at GWU, and he’s top of his class at the academy—”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

"And he’s one of the most good looking guys I've ever met—”

"How is that relevant—"

Luke frowns at her. "And have you met me?"

“My point is,” Garcia’s red lipstick curls into the most reassuring smile, “that you have nothing to worry about because (Your Name) loves you. A lot.” 

Spencer perks up. “You really think so?”

“I know so. I see the way they look at you, and if that’s not love I don’t know what is," She shrugs, "And just because they’re talking doesn’t mean they’re into him.”

There's a collective nod of agreement and Spencer sags in relief. Of course they're right. He knows they are. 

If you think about it, technically, he's got the advantage. You've known each other longer, bonded and shared experiences together good and bad, and you’re emotionally and even physically intimate with each other (something he's especially proud of, considering how long it takes you both to warm up to others).

And who knows? This is probably temporary! Whatever this is, the connection you seem to instantly make with Intern (faster than when you two had met, he realizes with a needle to his heart) is short-term at best. It'll peter out eventually, like most friendships do.

It’s sad, but a cruel fact of life.

(Is this selfish, wishful thinking? Nah.)

They’re right, there is no need to worry, Spencer thinks as a weight lifts off his chest, finally able to breathe. You love him and he loves you and eventually, everything will go back to normal. 

There’s nothing to worry about.

—

The world’s ending.

“It’s really not.”

Yes, it is.

“Doc, come on.”

“Do not ‘Doc’ me,” Spencer grumbles, lifting his head from the comfort of his arms. He grimaces at Luke. “You didn’t see the way they looked at him. The way they talk about him.”

Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since you’ve taken Intern under your wing, and he’s had enough. If Hell is real, this is it. For days, he’s tried to resume some form of normalcy, and he was never one to be bold but desperate times call for desperate measures as he asks you out for lunch or invites you out on dates, even stuff he wouldn’t normally do because they’re more your thing. Something, anything to get you away from Intern. But...

At work: “Hey Spence, I'm teaching Intern (menial task that a 4 year old could do). Would you like to help—”

During break: “I’m taking Intern out for lunch. He’s still new to town, and I thought he could use a tour—”

In bed: “Did you know Intern’s a huge fan of Star Wars—”

Snap, and there went his patience.

Intern this, Intern that. 

Spencer could tolerate this at work. At least he’s saving lives, being productive, getting paid. But under his roof? In his bed? 

That was the last straw.

Spencer's not one to wish ill on another, he's not like that. But if something happened to the guy, say, get injured in the field, perhaps from a "stray" bullet, he'd be intern-ally grateful. Heh. 

"Hey, you good?"

Spencer sighs, swiping a hand over his face and turning back to Luke. "Yeah, why?"

Luke waves a hand at his face, eyebrow raised, "For a second there, you kind of had a scary look on your face."

"Did I? Weird."

"Right," Clearly unconvinced, Luke brushes it off, deciding to get to the root of the matter. "As I was saying, I still think you have nothing to worry about. Although, I do think it's a little weird that (Your Name) is talking about Intern as much as you say they are." He offers Spencer a little smile, his hand falling heavy on his shoulder. It's the most comforting touch he's had in two weeks. "I'm not one to talk, but I suggest you speak to them. I'd also be uncomfortable if my partner were talking up someone else."

Spencer blinks, squints at Luke, before gripping his hand and standing up. "Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

"You can stand to mention it more often," Luke shrugs, eyes crinkling with amusement as Spencer lets go and heads for the door. 

"Noted."

—

Spencer nearly goes feral when he finds you.

Of course you're with him.

He searched the floor like a bloodhound, discovering you've been on your feet almost the entire day, running around the office, up and down the elevators, finishing your work and helping around. You must be exhausted. It's because of this he tracks you to your favorite break room, mostly quiet save for the buzzing drip of the old coffeemaker. He knows you need to be alone sometimes, recharge those social batteries.

So when he bursts into the room like he would hunting an unsub, eyes quickly scanning the immediate space, he expects nothing less but you. What he did not anticipate was to find you, just as soft and pretty as ever under the fluorescent lighting, leaning against the counter and sipping daintily at your favorite mug. 

With Intern standing a little too close to his liking.

“Hey, Spencer,” You chirp as you lower your coffee mug, lips glossy from your drink. Spencer's quick to shake his stupor―he can’t afford to be distracted, but it’s difficult when you’re beaming at him, clearly excited. You nod at the home-wrecker, “Me and Intern here were just talking about demonology and he’s got this interesting theory on werewolves―" Lycanthropy? Are you fucking kidding him right now? 

Just when he thought he couldn't hate the guy any more.

"CanItalktoyou?" It comes out rushed as Spencer gasps between breaths, leaving no room to second guess himself.

"Sure," You blink at his urgent tone.

For a second, you watch him expectantly, and Spencer's gaze darts between you and Intern. "Alone?"

"Oh! Okay. Be gone," You wave Intern off, and when you place a hand on his shoulder, Spencer sees red. Or green in this case.

Intern doesn't resist, but the noise Spencer releases is animalistic because the guy can’t seem to read the room, questioning you as you gently shove him towards the door. "What about the thing―"

"We'll talk about that later."

"But you still need to show me how to―"

"Don't worry, Intern. Just wait for me, I'll show you once the adults are done talking."

"You know at some point you're gonna have to call me by my name." 

"Nah. If we get to call Luke a newbie, we get to call you Intern. Also I do not know how to say your first name."

 "You could just call me St―"

Enough of this. Spencer closes the last stretch of distance, batting your hand away from Intern’s shoulders as he kicks him out himself, slamming the door in his face. Spencer turns on his heel to face you, caging you both. “You―” He pants, chest heaving for air.

“Me?”

“You-him-we―”

You’re unfazed, simply nodding at him and his odd behavior. If anything, you’re enjoying this as your lips twitch in a poor attempt to withhold your amusement, trying to cover it with a slurp of your cup. Then again, it’s not everyday you get to see Spencer, face flushed from exertion, speechless as he gasps for breath.

(At least not at work… In the break room specifically.)

It takes a minute as Spencer swallows a few times, but his heart’s erratic and it’s not just from running through the entire building. When he’s got enough air, he blurts out, “Did I do something?”

Your brow shoots up. “What?”

“Did I forget something important? Upset you in some way?”

“No? I don’t think so?” You frown at him, your answers more like questions. 

It only spurs him on, and though his tone is frantic and his eyes just as wild as his hair, you’re more intrigued than frightened. Definitely confused.

“Okay, but you know I love you, right?”

“Yes and I love you too but Spence, what’s this about?" Setting down your mug, you look at him like he's grown another head.

Spencer sighs, "I just… you…" He frowns, glancing between you, the floor, and the empty space between you. 

Spencer Reid is a man of words. Many, many words, according to all his friends and his coworkers. Mainly knowledge―he's never been great with feelings―but as you gaze at him, patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts, he wants to melt into the floor. There's not a hint of annoyance on your features, your eyes warm and inviting. 

He's so in love with you.

Then like scripture the words come, natural without much stuttering or hesitancy. He recounts the last two weeks. The internship so far, the times you've left Spencer behind for him, the times you just talked about him, like the guy (practically a stranger) is your new best friend. Usually, pretty people make him tongue-tied and you do―god, you do―but at the same time only you make it so easy. Talking, expressing without fear of―

"Pfft―"

―Judgement. Pausing mid-sentence, Spencer gawks as your nose twitches and your blink rate increases. You purse your lips, a hand slapped over your mouth as it threatens to break out into a grin.

"Are you-are you laughing right now?" When he just poured his feelings out to you? 

That does it. You keel over, peels of laughter coming like a tsunami, crashing into him and Spencer loves your laugh but not when it's at him. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing," you wheeze, gripping your stomach. Spencer pouts. There's even tears in your eyes. "But you're telling me this is all because you're jealous?"

He stutters, "Well-I-no-It’s just…" He wants to say ‘you're mine’, but as your eyes crinkle he knows there’s no need.

"That's kinda hot."

"Wha-really?" Wide-eyed, Spencer squeaks as you step closer to him, backing him into the door. His hands come up to his chest in a kitten-like manner yet at the same time protective―you'd never hurt him and you both know that―but you admit your initial reaction was poor when he laid his feelings bare. 

“Ahhhh Babe, you know there’s no one else for me but you.” Spencer blushes and you chuckle, taking his hands in yours. He let's you. “Also, as adorable as Intern is, one, I think I’d be able to tell if he was hitting on me, and two, he’s not really my type.”

Spencer swallows, “And what exactly is your type?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” Looking him up and down, you step closer, enough that your breath puffs against his chin. You smell like cheap coffee. “Tall, handsome doctors with messy, brown hair―” You lightly tug at one of his stray curls and he bites back a smile. 

“―and a cute nose―” Your hand moves to cup his cheek, bringing him down to peck the tip of his nose. It scrunches as Spencer breaks out into giggles. 

“―Who can recite classic literature. Who can bake like he belongs on The Great British Baking Show but can’t cook for shi―”

“Okay! Thank you, I get it,” Spencer says, almost completely relaxed now.

“Good,” You nod with finality. “And for your information, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous."

He raises an eyebrow. "So you just abandoned me and talked about another guy for the hell of it?"

Spencer's tone is casual, joking even but you know better. There's underlying bitterness and hurt and your heart squeezes because you did that. "No, of course not. There is a reason behind all that.“

“What could possibly excuse you going above and beyond your job as a mentor―”

“I was trying to set you guys up.”

Spencer deadpans. “Set me up? With him?” Oh god, he knows you’re weird, but he’s never considered you to be outright insane (is it weird he still loves you?).

As if reading his thoughts, you roll your eyes, “Spencer, how many friends do you have outside the team?”

“Not a lot.” No hesitation, but he accepted the fact a long time ago. 

“Yeah and that’s okay. But if you’d talk to Intern, you’ll find you two have a lot in common. I know he’s younger than us, but he’s a good kid, real smart,” You give him a meaningful look and shrug, “Not like IQ 187 smart but he could definitely hold a conversation with you.”

Spencer murmurs, pulling you in so you're chest to chest, “This entire time, you were really trying to make us friends?”

You nod, your expression a mix of giddiness and hope that makes whatever feelings he felt before, the confusion and―yes, fine―the jealousy, dissolve like sugar in water. Spencer sinks into you, burying his face into the crook of your neck and inhaling your soap. Of course you had good intentions. Of course you wanted to do something nice for him.

Fuck, he loves you.

“So… we good?”

Spencer huffs, “I hope you realize how much I suffered the past few weeks.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Then yes, we’re good,” He mumbles into your shoulder, “I appreciate what you were trying to do.”

“And?”

His brow furrows and he pulls back, meeting your eyes. “And what?”

“Will you try to be friends?” You look at him expectantly.

Spencer opens his mouth to answer, a definitive no on his tongue, but then you’re giving him puppy-dog eyes and before he realizes it, “Okay.”

Wait, no. That is not what he meant to say.

“Yeah!” You throw your arms around him, and Spencer can’t stop you, grunting as you basically swing him around like a rag doll. But he finds he doesn’t care when you set him back down because you’re happy, happy for him, grinning ear to ear as you babble, “I can already tell you two are gonna be the best of friends! You guys have so much to talk about, all that nerdy stuff. Maybe even debate! And we could play chess and―”

There’s a knock and you both turn, a voice muffled by the door, “Hey, guys? I don’t want to interrupt in case you’re boning, but you didn’t exactly tell me where to wait for you? God, I hope you guys aren’t boning. Please tell me you’re not boning right now.”

You groan, “No Intern, we’re not boning! Right-uh-go ahead and meet me back at the office, I’ll be right with you.” You turn back to Spencer, sending him an apologetic look. “I will see you later, okay? And since you’ve been such a patient and understanding partner,” You plant him one last kiss before patting his cheek, and his eyes widen as your voice lowers in the way you know drives him crazy, your eyes glinting with mischief, “I’ll make it up to once we get home. Bye, love you!”

Before Spencer can fully register your words, you're out the door, cackling as you leave him to compose himself, his face beet red from running the possibilities. By the time he emerges from the break room, you’re long gone.

“Hi, Dr. Reid?”

Spencer almost snarls, cursing under his breath. Just when he thought the day was getting better. He turns back. 

Intern stands tall, relaxed and shoulders back, black tie loose and cheap white-collar button up slightly wrinkled. No doubt from working hard and following your instructions throughout the day. Spencer respects the work ethic at least. Meanwhile, the younger man eyes him, and he’s certain it’s not from intimidation but with curiosity.

Spencer doesn’t linger on that. He’s used to it, not being intimidating to others.

He continues, “It’s nice to finally talk to you, one on one I mean. I’m a fan of your work. Seven degrees, huh?”

“Yeah,” Spencer says curtly. Recalling the earlier conversation with you, he stamps down his irritation and tries to extend an olive branch. “How did you know?”

“It’s the internet, sir,” Intern raises an eyebrow, offering an innocent smile. 

“Right,” Spencer returns it with an awkward one of his own, “Hey, sorry for... literally kicking you out before. That was completely unprofessional.”

Intern waves him off, “No, it’s cool. I totally get it. I’m flattered, by the way.”

Spencer frowns. “Flattered?”

“Well, it’s not everyday you find out your superior’s jealous of you.”

Spencer blinks, and it takes all his experience as a profiler to mask his embarrassment. “You heard that.”

“The FBI’s got thin walls,” Intern shrugs and steps towards him. “Although I have to say, Agent (Your Last Name) is wrong about one thing.” Stopping short in front of him, for the first time Spencer is close enough to note the moles dotting his face. “They can’t tell that I’m flirting with them.” 

He starts down the hall after you, and Spencer’s eyes trail after him as his brow furrows, until realization slams into him and his jaw drops. “Wait, you...”

“Oh and since (Your Last Name) wants us to be friends, I think we could be on a first-name basis,” He pauses to look back at Spencer, watching with a crooked smile as the older man sputters. 

“So, you can call me Stiles, sir.”

Then once again, Spencer is left behind, frozen in the hallway as he processes what just happened.

And the next time he finds you and Special Agent Stilinski in the same room, whether it’s crowded or not, Spencer does not hesitate to cling to your side, putting as much distance between the intern and you as he can. Spencer’s grateful you don’t question it.

There may not be anyone else for you, but that doesn’t mean no one will try.

―

AN: ahhhhh thanks anon!! There was a similar request then i saw this tiktok (and listened to this tiktok the entire time) and i combined them. Id also like to emphasize that my version of reader is neutral across the board, race, gender, etc.

Yes, i have a type. No, i will not be taking criticism. 

Been hella overwhelmed with classes and work so here’s my way of destressing. Also suggest checking those tiktoks if you wanna understand me :))) also you mean to tell me i have to write the threesome myself?? Bs tbh 😔

watched 15x4 and i was so sad when Spencer addressed Luke as his coworker like no bitch hes your new bro stfu

and i have no doubt that stiles and spencer would be one of the best crossover duos given the chance 

[bondsmagii]

Do you genuinely belive that people deserve to be happy no matter what's happening in the world? I just, like, never heard that before. I mean, everyone it's always trying to convince you that you should care about the world more than you care about yourself and It just gets internalized like I genuinely gave up a career as small business owner to focus on enviromental sciences bc I felt so much guilt over not doing something for climate change and everyone like supported that choice

This whole conversation with the anon remembers me of my own little paranoia when I read the poem "you must love the mutilated world" because all I could think about was how easier it was to me (white, middle class, american) to love the world than everyone else. It's crazy how guilt does leak into everyday things. I never even thought about that like it's something bad it was always framed as something you should be doing like you don't have permission to be happy while the whole world suffers (and its something you see all the time in social media too! Like, it's crazy!) Anyway very interesting topic don't know how to digest it tho probably will continue to feel immeasurable waves of useless giref

I do believe that, yes. I don't believe that we should live in denial of the problems in the world, but I see no point in living in misery. it gets nothing done, it isn't productive, and unless we are actively, consciously, and blatantly contributing to the world's problems, a lot of it is stuff we're not to blame for. should we still help? yes. but should we act like we're on the same level as the billionaires and warmongers who are actively causing and profiting from the pain of others? don't be ridiculous.

also, while we're on the subject: Try to Praise the Mutilated World is my all-time favourite poem. I don't lecture people on their own interpretations of art, but I thought I might provide some extra context. the poem's author is a man named Adam Zagajewski, and he was born in 1945 in Lwów, Poland (now Lviv, Ukraine). you might recognise the date as the end of the Second World War, but you might not recognise the town. this town was one of the most hotly contested and affected parts of Europe in the lead-up to, and the aftermath of, the war. so affected were the citizens that the men who helped create the terms "genocide" and "crime against humanity" in a legal sense for the first time were from here (they did this for the purpose of the Nuremberg trials). Zagajewski would have undoubtedly grown up with the horror of war shadowing his every move and haunting the memories of his family. he would have seen the widespread damage and grief, and homes abandoned or left empty in the wake of the countless Jews from the town who were exiled and murdered. he himself also suffered hardships under the communist rule the country was under during his lifetime, including familial exile and censorship. he protested against the government rule and was punished for it, even having to leave his country for long periods of time.

this is a man who a lot of people with your attitude would deem as a person who has "really" suffered, and is a "real" victim. and he says that regardless of what is going on, you must praise this world. you must love it. you must see the beauty in everything, even the "abandoned homesteads of exiles". you must create good times, so you can hold onto them in the tough times and the bad times. the poem is saying that you must see the beauty in the world before you can begin to heal it, because a person mired in guilt and misery is no good for the work of healing. look at the things he tells you to remember and to enjoy when you have them. he mentions "June's long days", "wild strawberries", "drops of rosé wine". the poem tells you to face the reality of the world and hold fast against it; love the world regardless and do what you can. how such a beautiful poem could be used by you to feel such guilt is such a shame. this is a poem written for everyone struggling with the reality of the world, and indeed it became widespread famous after it circulated following 9/11. in a world full of new horror, a horror many people had never experienced before, it was this poem that resonated -- that no matter the horror out there, we must love this world and seize happiness where we can.

this is a prime example of art being for everyone. if you want to use this poem as another way to uselessly beat yourself up, I can't stop you. but I hope you rethink. you seem unhappy living like this, and you seem to understand it's an impossible way to live. you can choose something better. you can try to praise the mutilated world, to go back to the running theme. you can allow yourself small joys and let yourself see the beauty here. you can learn to do what you can and rest knowing that's enough.

[dragonheadskilax]

Abt the lupin characters, I personally see Jigen as having quite a bit of Italian in him, culturally at least. Not just because Italy basically adopted him (seriously they love him, he’s on the side of buildings) but also some of the things he does, like the instinctual cross and the superstition for example. All of this along w your hcs too, bc yeah he does have a lot of latino coding. And he was originally supposed to be dark skinned, along w goemon and zenigata! I’m glad someone else saw that. As for Goemon your hc abt him having extensive international family is interesting, I have t heard it before. I just assumed he traveled to train, but it makes sense that he had ppl to visit/stay with there. And yeah I absolutely hate it when goemon is drawn pasty white. The anime itself has a problem w it recently, but some fanart makes it really bad. Lupin I think is the easiest, bc he’s canonically french/japanese. This also means he should probably have the lightest skin tone out of the group, being half white. He’s well traveled and learned through traveling for jobs, so I do t think this makes him necessarily less knowledgeable. Fujiko and zenigata, I think they are just Japanese. They tend to draw Fujiko light skinned bc of the beauty standards in japan, but I wish ppl would draw her darker. Zenigata like you said, seems to have the least pushback in his darker skin color. So there’s that, at least. Your art and headcannons/writing is really good, keep it up!!

The building comment made me think of salty snack Jigen from the Lupin convience store.

And the family thing with Goemon is just inference with how he seems to get to talk about or show more family stuff than anyone else. Lupin would do so if relating to his dad or grandpa as usual. I only vaguely remember, but in the manga there was an appearance of his family and they weren’t exactly all pleasant. With Goemon, talk around his ancestor is with respect even from the crew, the detail about his grandma was cute, his family home seems to still be around, in Fuma Conspiracy there had to be family of his own with all those people in the background.

And to add on about the Zenigata thing I guess it’s cuz he’s not, I guess, “pretty”. Fujiko and Goemon are pretty ones, well I find Goemon handsome but of course it’s interchangeable words, so when they’re designed to look the youngest and palest it’s likely for the pretty factor. Even if it doesn’t make sense in the story like with part V where Goemon’s supposed to be older but he looks younger than his earlier self. And with the mention of beauty standards it’s not even just japan it’s kinda everywhere lol, but it can be pretty bad in asia, like, over the counter skin lightening products and not being hired for not having the right looks. Okay I’ll get back on track, idk I just got a lot of ponderings and background thoughts on the whole design thing + how fans react about it. I wonder sometimes on who designed Goemon in the 5 iterations where he’s dark skinned. I’d wanna see a character sheet 💔.

thank you on the compliment! I didn’t think I actually write that much, I guess at this point I do. And thank you for tellin your thoughts it’s interesting to see other takes and looong asks like these is a whole wad for the mind to chew on.

[elkian]

I was gonna do a “missing the point”-style meme but I’m honestly not sure that would even work tho so:

Harry Potter and My Hero Academia/Boku no Hero Academia have similar issues with introducing and then immediately ignoring ENORMOUS issues re: ableism.

I think these two series in specific come to mind bc it’s ableism within a specific empowered community, and in both cases the series are pretty well-known and the community (Wix/Heroes) are immediately identifiable to many audiences.

[WARNING: Discussions of ableism, child harm, and abuse on multiple levels.]

What’s the problem?

SQUIBS.

[This post got stupid huge SO here is a tl,dr for all you lovely people who understandably have no time for this.

TL, DR: Both Harry Potter and Boku No Hero have a bad tendency to implement or imply a level of disability regarding unempowered people in empowered societies. They then continue on to completely disregard important conclusions to these implications, such as how heavily it is implied that these unempowered people (Squibs) are so ‘worthless’ to those societies that their very deaths are merely a byline rather than an actual tragedy.

This is especially troubling in MHA/BNHA when so many other political and worldbuilding considerations HAVE been planned out, and seems to be less-discussed in the fandom as a whole, so that’s a much larger chunk of this post.]

That’s your tl, dr!

Here’s the Harry Potter angle:

HP has a bit that I’ve seen people discussing already: Neville’s magic was discovered when his uncle dropped a literal child a potenial lethal distance. 

Neville activating his power and surviving is celebrated, and then JKR immediately glosses over the glaring issue this has introduced: the heavy implication that a Squib dying from this incident would have not have been mourned or even really commented on.

The few adult Squibs (and isn’t that a whole new slice of wonderful /j) are generally disliked and ridiculed for some reason or other. Now, while obviously there are plenty of places where the Venn diagram of “disabled” and “asshole” intersect irl, when your ONLY presentation of a disabled character or group is, every time, an asshole or a fool or both, boy! That’s bad!

Neville (who is generally presented as magically, physically, and mentally weak and often treated as comic relief) is a bit better via the POV Character constantly having positive interactions with him, but this is still a mess. Yes, Neville canonically is not a Squib, but it’s not subtle that he’s on the cusp OF being a Squib, and that is a key element of ridiculing him in many situations (also the whole trauma thing multiple times, like if I really get into it I could do a whole double-size post of how Neville was done dirty or nearly dirty by JK all the time but this isn’t that post).

This isn’t even the point of this post. Let’s move to MHA/BNHA

Hero Academia has differing but honestly even worse issues. And I’m aware that different countries handle ableism and accessibility in different ways, but if you think too hard about it this is an absolute clusterfuck.

What is the problem now?

Squibs! Or rather, the main character of the series, Midoriya Izuku.

Deku (a nickname meaning “useless”! Imparted after his disability is recognized! hilarity!!) is also born without powers. Even worse in some ways, he is born without powers in a world where the overwhelming majority of the global population has some kind of empowerment. I can’t recall if it’s outright stated or only implied that someone with a functionally useless (and hoo boy, usefullness to society is its own post nope not today i do not have that much energy) Quirk is still more of a person than a Quirkless human.

That sink in? Okay, let’s move on.

In a narratively not-uncommon turn of events, Deku gains power. This is partially a product of, and directly tied to, his own work and determination, as well as his willingness to help even when physically outmatched.

To an American audience (NOT the intended audience though I wouldn’t doubt it if Horikoshi meant to have international appeal more or less from the start), this is a deeply satisfying narrative. Who doesn’t love an underdog story? And we even learn that the strongest hero of all time (til this point, anyways) was ALSO born Quirkless!

However, from here, things take a nosedive.

The key problem is a combination of story progression and overall thought put into worldbuilding. Horikoshi’s efforts may not be the MOST thorough, but he has put a great deal of work and thought into his creation (he at least understands the concept of implications and sometimes plans accordingly, looking at you JKR). However, that tied with story progression and personal repercussions actually works to the detriment of the matter.

Especially given recent turns of events.

 [BIG MEGA SPOILERS FOR FAIRLY RECENT PLOT

 STOP HERE IF YOU’RE NOT CAUGHT UP

 SERIOUSLY]

 What I mean by this is the current state of events re: two particular recent/recent-ish plot arcs.

First, Quirk Removal, and second, Endeavor’s comeuppance.

Quirk Removal/Loss was the start of my realization to what the narrative was doing regarding Izuku’s Quirklessness and the state of being overall.

This arc was a perfect time to bring up Midoriya’s past! A lot of Western works certainly would have done so! And yes, it may be bordering on done-to-death, but many elements of Hero Academia put new twists on common themes and cliches; it wasn’t unreasonable to hope that he might do it again.

Instead, little to NOTHING is discussed during this time! In fact, iirc I’d go so far as to say Midoriya straight-up never considers his past at any point during this arc!? If I’m wrong then it obviously made little impact.

NOW, not every disabled character needs to incorporate their disability and/or skills gleaned from living with it in every narrative. In fact, it would get tedious and questionable if they did (note: this does NOT mean ignoring/forgetting the character is even disabled when convenient. Like, I’d like to think that’s the obvious point of this post but... *gestures at tumblr*). 

But the complete lack of it here feels really weird. Like, almost hollow. I think Midoriya makes some kind of suggestion to Mirio of his former Quirklessness at the end of the arc, but nothing that made any kind of impact.

Let’s move on.

Endeavor.

Now, the problem with Endeavor’s arc is not the arc itself. Or, rather, it’s the fact that Endeavor’s Comeuppance is pretty good.

This is a problem because someone else should be getting this exact same arc, yet the issue is never even RECOGNIZED, let alone addressed.

Endeavor’s abuse of his wife and children, all in the name of creating a Heroic legacy, is publicized and tanks his popularity. The general public is now aware of what he’s done to the people closest to him, which aside from giving him a more correct reputation, means they can’t trust him to protect them if they can’t trust him to protect his own family.

This isn’t the goal of this post and I’m no expert regardless, but up to this point (around chapter 290) this was handled in an interesting way. Endeavor is humanized and often shown interacting with people in a way that, while often domineering, isn’t always aggressive or abusive. He runs a Hero Agency for crying out loud! But abuse in the real world often isn’t constant, nor happening to everyone in contact with the abuser. So this is a surprisingly good lead up to the reveal, where you can understand how most people never realized this was an issue.

But here’s my main point. Let’s examine some traits and actions that come up:

physically abusive to a child (often dangerously so) to the point of permanent trauma and severe scarring in some cases

target of abuse was weaker (physically and/or regarding Quirk power)

often abused victim emotionally/psychologically, bringing this weakness up again and again

own immense power led to rising in the world of Heroics

comrades, fellow Heroes, UA teachers etc. not aware of prior abuse issues

Who does this sound like?

Endeavor, who has a whole fucking arc dedicated to this reveal and repercussions?

Or Bakugou?

Reminder: This isn’t a hate post. This isn’t a character post, or even an abuse post. This is about ableism.

Bakugou exhibits many, many traits and actions that Endeavor was literally just punished for. So why does the treatment of these characters in-universe differ so drastically?

Two primary reasons I can think of, which feed into each other:

1) Bakugou was a child (still technically is a minor, remember! Still a first-year high schooler!) when this started. This doesn’t mean he’s strictly innocent, but it’s an important point, because it leads us to

2) Bakugou Katsuki’s abuse of Midoriya Izuku is socially accepted.

Reminder of the audience’s first encounter with Katsuki. The very first page with him is him and his grade-school posse picking on a kid that Izuku is trying to protect. His posse is showing off their Quirk powers and mocking Izuku’s lack thereof.

Then we flash forward to late-middle school versions of the kids. Bakugou, in front of a fucking teacher and entire class, is verbally, physically, etc. abusive to Izuku. He trashes his stuff, threatens him, tells him to kill himself (which, as Izuku notes later, is a fucking felony in Japan too).

No one stops him.

No one criticizes him.

We don’t even get a shot of like, some more ‘regular’ students being like “man Bakugou’s kinda fucked up but we’re too scared to do anything about it” NO. NO. Everyone more or less either backs Katsuki up or straight up doesn’t care.

Remember that this started when Katsuki and Izuku were four. Remember that Katsuki’s power is absurdly dangerous, ie. LITERAL. GODDAMN. EXPLOSIONS.

Izuku has scars. He probably has hearing loss! He may have gotten at least one concussion which can cause serious neurological issues and open him up to further risk!

He could have died.

And?

NO ONE. DOES. ANYTHING.

THIS is the point of the post. THIS is the value placed on Quirkless people in this society.

And yet. Despite Endeavor’s comeuppance. Despite All Might and Izuku’s blatant ‘value’ to society through Heroics. Despite so many other political implications and quandaries address in the Hero Academia series.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing about this is addressed. The nearly-lethal ableism towards Quirkless people in this society is never ONCE brought up properly once Izuku receives One For All.

There is so much potential here! There is so much worth talking about! And yet we’ve moved into what feels very much like the Final Battle without it being addessed, despite numerous, numerous opportunities for a meaningful conversation about it along the way.

Mirio losing his power! Hell, Mirio’s powers’ drawbacks (and pretty much every Quirk’s drawback! if acknowledged properly!) border on a disability-analogue, and even more when Yuga’s laser comes up, and yet again and again we fail to truly engage with the matter in a meaningful way.

At this point, even if it comes up in the finale, I’m going to be disappointed in this particular aspect of the series due to the complete and total shut-down it’s been given so far.

What the FUCK, Horikoshi?

[fmdjoosungarchive]

restructuring task 1

+5 tracker points

1. assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background.

wc: 365

idk if i’ve said this on dash yet, but i’m treating new famed more or less like an au. in sung’s au, the defining change is that he was let go from gold star when he had his injury as a trainee. it was always my headcanon that they truly were close to cutting him loose anyway, so this is just the other side of that. he had his injury, got plastic surgery to try to appease them into keeping him, and they still let him go. when he went home his parents said alright u tried that now join the fam business n sung freaked bc he realized he doesnt want that for himself so he went to do smth he also hated, and joined the military. while there he still worked on his dance and vocals whenever he had a moment to do so, so that when he was discharged and started auditioning again, he wasn’t so rusty

he is a year younger in this world, just bc of quantum’s age range, not for any other reason. makes him a little less of a cradle robber in his relationship lol which, another change is that daisuke wouldn’t have been his first kiss, just first everything else

quantum is very different from old element and new element, but it’s very in line with what i liked about quicksilver (& has models from that) and he’s a leader! this is an idea ive toyed with a lot over the last three years tbh. at first i didn’t think sung suited a leader position, but he came to show me he’s just a different kind of leader. i liken him to jinki often in this regard. rather than lassoing members in, he supports them being however they are, and takes an intimate/emotional path to gaining their trust and leading them. and while he wasn’t suited for the full business life, what he learned from his father’s teachings helps him in dealing with the company as the group’s representative there (& he loves a good powerpoint presentation)

other timeline stuff for big events in his life are likely to shift but i’m not sure on specifics yet

2. what does your muse think of their company and their group?

wc: 260

as the child of a businessman, he’s never under the illusion that as a company entity, their first priority is their wellbeing. he knows that they are products, and that they’re treated as such. it’s a bit heavier with dimensions than gold star, since gold star makes a more active effort to pretend they care. however, once having accepted that, sung thinks himself and dimensions work well together. he does feel that for a company, they allow himself and his members to be a part of the creative process, as says their motto. he feels much more encouraged to write songs and choreograph under dimensions than he did under gold star, where it felt like he was constantly on his knees begging for the company to take him seriously

as for quantum, sung really loves what they’re about. he’s not a big fan of all (or most) of their songs, though he’s more loving towards a song written by another member even if it’s the same sound he dislikes, but he absolutely loves being focused on performance and concepts. his creative mind works very much on the basis of story and emotion that comes with it, and he feels like quantum’s concepts sometimes to often lean into his tastes. he’s always been a dancer first and foremost (god am i so glad to have his main dancer title back i MISSED u) so focusing on performance is v much up his alley, and his preferred style of dance is through storytelling. he feels the heart of dance is in that

3. is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract?

wc: 281

quantum’s on their first contract still, up for renewal in 2024. at the current moment, he would like to re-sign. however, unlike my others, his re-signing depends more heavily on the other members. if they were unhappy and wanted to leave, sung would want to follow suit, not because he can’t make his own decisions, but because if the reason the members want to leave is because of the company, not quantum, he’d want to try to help quantum continue to live. if that means all of the members leaving in order to rebrand under another company, so be it. he’d like to avoid lineup changes however he can, and ideally would like to be an idol for as long as possible

he himself feels alright about his treatment. he feels creatively stimulated, and appreciated for talents further than his face. if he were to try to negotiate different terms at their contract renewal, part of it would likely be wanting to give members a higher share of profits, especially on releases they’re creatively involved in. sung personally has no use for excessive money, but not all of his members have his background, and he feels more than just the money, it’s what’s fair. he’d also prefer to allow for more creative freedom. as a 7/8 year group by then, he’d think they should be allowed to take the reigns more heavily. and on his personal side of things, he would want dimensions to be more mindful of his schedule. sung enjoys working, but he’s only one person, who doesn’t want to be overworked. these are all just his current thoughts, though, and will probably change before contract renewal comes up

4. what are your muse’s goals and motivations?

wc: 294

his motivations to be ‘successful’ and/or achieve his goals are his family, namely being someone his nephew and niece can be proud of, and someone his parents can feel was worth letting go of. he feels closer to the latter than he did in old famed. his members motivate him to be a good leader, his desire to grow as a creator motivates him to write and choreograph

specific goals could be bigger like his desire for more public recognition. while quantum has a lot more recognition both in korea and abroad than element or quicksilver, sung wants the best for his group. he’d be happy if they stayed where they are with their loyal fandom, but he still aims for more

sung also wants to get better at standing up for himself. he’s best at standing up for others, because he can slap on a bit of bravado in order to help them out, but when it comes to himself, especially with his parents, he’s pretty awful at it

he’d also like to create more for quantum, and others. i/he have a goal for him to write a whole album for someone, so if anyone reads this far and could want sung writing for their muse, hit me up!

he’d like to get married and have children one day. that’s always been a dream of his, and while he knows his career doesn’t allow for that soon, it’s still on his docket

he wants to spend more time with his family, especially his nephew and niece. they’re so new to the world and learning everything, and sung wants to be a part of that. he doesnt want his part in their early lives to be ‘i don’t really remember seeing him back then’

5. what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future?

wc: 291

at some point, this bitch is gonna have to admit he’s a homiesexual. in his previous version, it was a lot easier for him to ‘i pretend i do not see it’ when it came to that. sung’s very ignorant when it comes to the queer community in korea, so he’s not even really aware of terms beyond gay, maybe trans. but, terms aside, he always thought he was someone who liked women, and daisuke and a couple of others were just outliers. they were the Special ones outside of his jurisdiction that were just too good for him to not notice. aka he believed he was bi. and now, he still does, but i have less faith he’ll be able to hold that up until he dies like i did before, because he’s actually dated at least one woman before in this world. considering the plot has yet to be picked up, i don’t know the specifics, but i do think it’s harder to run away from when the way he treated a relationship with a woman and a relationship with a man were lightyears away from one another. it’s still possible for him to run away from the truth of the situation, but it’s also very possible that one day, his thoughts on it will shake, and everything will click into place (messily,, probably the messiest clicking ever) it would be a difficult thing for him to come to terms with, though i think it’s better for him in the longterm to truly know who he is, and why he acts the way he does, why he feels the way he does about women vs men. it’s also nice just to not live a lie, even if only privately

6. if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why.

wc: 523

sung has a pretty filled history of individual activities. most are points claims with a focus on modelling, his radio, and music, though he’s dipped into pretty much ever facet of idoldom, some with more success than others. his ecp expenditures flesh that out a little more, and add a bit more realism, and/or make sense of the group changes. he had a one year modelling contract with the north face, and while official claims aren’t possible, i was inspired by a couple of things rowoon did with them. there was more of a push on an eco-friendly side of things, and there was a bit of dancing. playing into his group position with dancing i feel is fitting, but the eco friendly part i also feel could round out his image more as a good, kind boy who also can be sexy, whereas before, his earlier modelling claims focused a lot more on the sexy aspect, because it fit element and his trajectory there better. here, it makes him more dual sided from the beginning. north face is also just a nice, strong brand that i think is fitting for a pretty boi. i set it a bit after a year out from debut because i feel like that’s the most realistic, especially for a group like quantum that grew audience with each comeback

part of that first year being focusing only on the group ties into his creative claims as well! his first creative claim was with the bside love, lalala on the eternity ep. the nicest part of creative claims being unattached to positions is that all of sung’s claims are the songs in the discography most Him. so love lalala is very jazzy and smooth, and would have served as his first introduction to songwriting, as well as what made him interested in songwriting. then he was a choreographer on error, which is heavily story based, and about the members being a unit, and making beautiful pictures together. i hope to snag intro long journey and outro long journey from the beginning and end of the ateez sector, because they’re beautiful compositions that fit sung’s style, but also having him on both makes him feel like he’s a part of the concept’s creation in an intimate way, which fits with dms. then there’s aurora, which sung partially composed and partially choreographed. the choreography has contemporary flair to it, and the song is a flowing sound that matches that. then there’s partial production on sunrise, which i just love the robotic ass experimental production there, and comp for with u, which i believe ties back into sung’s rediscovering his love of piano. choreo for valkyrie is most similar to error in it’s pretty pictures way, and also has a bit of complex footwork, especially as its point dance, which is also p sung to want to include. and finally, some comp on stand by, which is like a mix of the appeal of aurora and with u methinks? listening to all of his written songs together i feel like really makes a picture of sung’s songwriting so i love that

[milkbreadtoast]

Hey so! I’ve been wanting to share one of my Kurama(yu yu hakusho) headcanons for a while, but have been too lazy(and scared) to put it into words and share it w/ my followers ahah. But i’m finally gonna share it..! This is one of my headcanons that’s most crucial to how I interpret his character... and I want to preface this with saying that everyone has a different interpretation of a character, and that’s ok; u don’t have to agree. Interpretations can feel very personal sometimes...this one means a lot to me personally haha. Anyway, here goes: (BIG SPOILER WARNING!!!)

Basically... I think the current Kurama, “Shuichi” Kurama with the red hair, is LITERALLY a different person than he was in the past, due to the unique way he escaped death by merging with the unborn child of a human woman, and that his current personality makes a lot of sense if you think of him... as a fusion, in a sense... kinda like a Steven Universe fusion(not exactly, but hear me out)...

The present day Kurama is shown to be a really different person than the legendary thief Yoko Kurama. This difference becomes starkly apparent when the Yoko Kurama of the past makes his appearances in the dark tournament, and he’s very sadistic, cruel... very different from the Kurama shown until then. 

Although the current Kurama has the same memories and consciousness, intelligence, etc. and is still fully “Kurama”, and a 1000+ year old demon, he also seems to act...like a normal teenage boy. He giggles, jokes around, cares a lot about his friends, and of course, loves his human mother... 

Hiei describes Kurama in an internal monologue in ep 47, and it’s very interesting...

Kurama also describes himself in this way, in the same ep:

Although not in the manga, Kurama also says this in ep 108:

When Kurama talks about how he’s changed since being reborn, and how he’s become a different person...  I think... it's more than just a change of heart. He's literally a different person, because his soul merged with that of the boy who would have been born as Minamino Shuichi.

And moreover, Kurama himself seems to be aware of this? in the way he describes himself...the whole “we’re merged,” “while I am Kurama, I am also Minamino Shuichi,” “no longer the same Kurama that I used to be”... And perhaps most convincingly, in this line he delivers in “Two Shots”: 

Specifically describing himself as having a “human side”, despite also explaining to Yusuke in his introduction that he is fully a demon, despite his human appearance. 

Given his wisdom and intelligence, retained from his past as Yoko Kurama, this--his self-identity--is surely something he’s thought hard about over the years, and this is the conclusion he’s come to... Even though he is classified as a demon, this is the way he describes himself... as a fusion of sorts, as being part “human”... (and Hiei’s description is mostly likely influenced from what Kurama has told him, along with his own understanding of Kurama). 

The current Kurama shows a profound duality, and it makes him such a fascinating character... in certain moments, he shows a coldness, a brutality, a willingness to take lives, and wisdom and intelligence that certainly goes far beyond his human years. Yet... stuff like how he giggles and jokes, and how he outsmarted Kaito by making a funny face... to me, this is something new... something unique to his current self...something the old Yoko Kurama wouldn’t do. 

The way Kurama acts in the present day...  the way he's 100% a demon, yet distinctly...human... makes so much sense if you think of him as being like a fusion?? When “he merged with the body of the human who would have been born as Minamino Shuichi”, I think their souls also merged. (edit: This also makes sense if you consider that in his severely wounded state, Yoko Kurama was essentially reduced to a bare soul, disembodied and dying--If this fusion between his dying spirit and this fresh, living human soul did not take place, he would not have survived. The unborn baby is not yet conscious, so Kurama’s concsiousness took over completely, but the fusion still occurred...)

Kurama is still Kurama-- but there’s something added, something more.  I think the human who would have been born as Shuichi would have been a very gentle person... so some of that got absorbed into Kurama's soul when they merged... and so his current, softer personality is not JUST a cruel demon who got touched by human kindness and had a change of heart... but a fusion of the original yoko’s personality, and the personality of the human boy he merged with. He did have a change of heart, but this was facilitated by him gaining... a new capacity for feelings? in a sense? due to this fusion. 

This interpretation I have of him... it makes me feel so much for him...b/c even tho he's...not the same person anymore, he still has the same memories and consciousness; he both is, and isn't, the same person.  I think it probably contributes to the guilt and self hatred he feels on some level, which is evident in what he tells Yusuke in the beginning...

It’s true that he said he tried many times to leave throughout his life, to return to his previous life in the demon realm, but it’s also true that he was never able to. His mother’s smile, her sacrifice for him, her genuine warmth and love for him... it moved him, and he decided to stay, and to protect her and the things precious to him now. And I argue that the “human” side of him, the result of a fusion of souls, enhanced his capacity to be moved, weakened his resolve to return to his past life...

When other yokai accuse him of "going soft"... that's not quite what happened...it is, in some ways, but not the full story. Although he is still the ancient, 1000+ year old demon Kurama, and retains all his memories and sense of self... there is still a part of him, a new part, that really IS as young as he looks... one that is gentle, empathetic, kind, and constantly haunted by his past.

In some ways, this added layer of softness can be seen as a fallibility, an exploitable weakness... how convenient, for the cruel and merciless, cold and calculating thief to become “soft”... a soft point, a weak point, where there was only hardness before. But,

Kurama himself believes it is a strength. Although I do think he harbors some level of hidden self hatred, he doesn’t hate this side of himself. In fact, he embraces it, is proud of it, and will fight to protect what he has now with his life on the line. He has found people and things he wants to protect... he’s come to see the beauty of the human world around him, even the mundane... he’s come to see the beauty and power in something as simple and fragile as a rose. 

And the important people in Kurama’s life(e.g. Hiei), unlike the yokai who jeer and mock him, also see this part of him as a strength and not a weakness, and accept him as who he is today. 

Kurama has a war in his heart... and this inner conflict and duality makes so much sense with the fusion interpretation. Itsuki makes this observation:

“affection” and “carnage”... two sides of himself, at war... consistent with his past life of violence and cruelty, and the gentle human soul he merged with that literally made him a different person...  But again he’s still “Kurama”; he’s 100% yokai, not a human, and he remembers everything.

This headcanon of mine is why it doesn’t really feel right to me when I see people joke that Kurama’s just an old guy hanging out with a bunch of kids (like that steve buscemi meme lol). Again, in my interpretation... in some ways he IS just a teenage boy... even though he’s 1000+... which is why it makes sense that he genuinely enjoys having friends his “own age”... it’s more than just a facade of pretending to be a kid, I think. 

And I mean...just look at him. HE...... IS BABIE 🥺🥺🥺

TL;DR I see the current Kurama as literally being a fusion of souls, literally “not the same Kurama” as before, and this colors the way I interpret him haha,,,

.............................

OK THIS POST IS ALREADY LONG AS ASS, WHY NOT MAKE IT EVEN LONGER BC THERE’S SMTH ELSE i WANTED TO POINT OUT

This might be unique to the anime, but it fits in nicely with my headcanon... In the original Japanese cast, Kurama(as Shuichi) is voiced by Megumi Ogata, and the Yoko Kurama of the past is voiced by Shigeru Nakahara (i.e., when he appears in the dark tournament, and in subsequent flashbacks to Kurama’s past). However, when Kurama transforms into his yoko form on his own in the Chapter Black arc, not by the influence of the potion that literally turns back time...he keeps his Megumi Ogata voice even in that form... whereas in flashbacks he's consistently voiced by Shigeru Nakahara.  ITS A REALLY NICE TOUCH....and it confirms what he says when he's like i haven't actually reverted back, my body just transformed due to my heightened yoki.

And not only his voice, he even looks different... his yoko form is given a slightly different design in Chapter Black arc. In the dark tournament, his outfit is sleeveless, he has frayed eyebrows, and his ears are smooth. 

In black chapters... for some reason they started giving him sleeves

and more solid eyebrows...

and raggety ears? vs smooth

(SO CUTE I LOVE THEM...) 

These differences are shown in this production note from the anime, indicating that this was a conscious design choice in the anime: 

(I can’t read the text, but I see that episode #90 is specified in the right pic, which is the ep Kurama transforms into his yoko form in Black Chapters)

Anyway, these are very subtle details, but to me they’re another indicator that even in his yoko form he's not the same Kurama as he was before...!

OK THAT WAS LONG AF BUT I’M DONE NOW I THINK......... enjoy these kuramas before u go ^_^

[boldly-ho]

Another Life - Chapter 7

Fandom: What We Do in the Shadows

Pairing: Vladislav x Reader

Series Rating: M

Word Count: 2877

Chapter Summary: Viago decides you should all get along, so you go for a night out on the town with the guys to humor him.

A/N: Drunken author. Let me know if there are any glaring issues. American author. Never been to NZ. Let me know if there are any glaring issues. As always, cross posted to ao3. Posting early bc I’m still drunk and idgaf.

“Hey,” you greeted the three men who were already seated around the kitchen table. “Is Petyr coming?”

Viago hesitated. “This doesn’t really pertain to Petyr.”

You’d figured as much. When Viago asked to come down for a flat meeting, your second since moving in, you’d guessed it was about Deacon and his reluctance to do his chores. You were surprised, then, when your flatmates all turned to you and Viago spoke.

“So, Y/N, we don’t want you to feel as though we’re ganging up on you…”

Wait, what?

“Okay…”

Viago continued. “It’s just that you- and not all the time, of course, just sometimes-“

“Stop slamming the front door,” Vladislav interrupted.

Given that Viago, in his attempts to calm you, had very much worried you, you were grateful for Vladislav’s blunt approach.

“Your bedroom door, too,” Deacon added.

Viago offered you a sheepish smile, his fangs just poking out of his mouth. “Ja.”

You felt a bit embarrassed by your transgression. “Have I been waking you guys up?”

“Yes.”

“Sorry. I’ll try to be more conscious of how much force I’m using.”

Viago offered you a real smile this time. “Great! I’m glad we were able to come to an understanding.” With that, he drew a neat line through the impeccably written ‘flat meeting’ on his to do list and flipped his notebook shut.

“Right,” you said. “Uh, did this have to be a whole flat meeting though?”

Viago stared at you blankly.

“I mean, couldn’t one of you guys just have pulled me aside and asked me to close the door more quietly? Instead of having a whole production?” Despite Viago’s initial spiel, you did feel a bit ganged up on.

“I tried that!” Deacon interjected, clearly offended.

“You did?” You didn’t remember that.

“Last week. I told you that you had woken me up and to be more careful shutting the door!”

Oh, crap.

He had. To be fair, though, you had thought he was just being a jerk because he didn’t like you, and so you’d dismissed his concerns out of hand. You felt your face heat in embarrassment.

“Oh, right. Well, I, uh, didn’t realize you were serious,” you mumbled.

“What?” Vladislav asked. You could tell from his tone that he was asking because he hadn’t heard you, not because he was shocked or appalled at your words.

Still, it wasn’t helping how suddenly sheepish you felt. Attempting to speak more clearly you said, “I didn’t think it was actually an issue. I just thought you were just being particular because you don’t like me.”

Now it was Deacon’s turn to look sheepish.

“It’s fine!” You hastily tried to reassure them all. “It’s no big deal, really. I’ll be quieter during the day. And, Deacon, it’s fine. You’re always civil.” Almost always, anyway. “And it’s not like we all need to be best friends, right? Really, it’s fine.”

Looking around the table, you were met with blank stares.

Okay, then. You excused yourself and made your way upstairs to your bedroom, taking care to close the door softly behind you. You wished you could forget the last few minutes.

Only moments later, you heard a knock at the door.

“Y/N?” It was Viago.

You sighed internally before opening the door.

“Sorry about that downstairs. I hope it didn’t feel like an ambush.”

“No, of course not,” you lied.

“Good,” he responded before getting to his main point. “Why don’t you come out with us tonight?”

“Like out clubbing?”

He nodded. “Ja. With you and Deacon not really getting on, I figured we could all get to know each other better over a night out.”

Ah. So Viago was the kind of person who needed to be best friends with his flatmates. You didn’t really feel like going out tonight. You’d been up all day, whereas your flatmates have been awake for just a couple of hours. You also weren’t super excited to spend a whole evening with these guys. On the other hand, it had been a while since you went out, and it would be nice to get out of the house for something other than work or grocery shopping. Still, though, didn’t these guys actually, literally kill people when they went out? Maybe? But if you went out with them, it’s not as though they’d bring home a victim. Not someone that you had seen and interacted with. So by that logic, shouldn’t you go out?

Viago was looking at you expectantly.

“Um, okay, sure, why not?”

He grinned excitedly.

“When do we leave?” you asked.

“As soon as you’re ready.”

“Give me 15?”

Viago nodded and left, and you got ready in a heavily expedited version of your routine. You applied a coat of mascara and a layer of powder before brushing through your hair. Quite a bit more casual and simple than your usual going out look, but you hoped your go-to dress would make up for it. It was a classic black LBD, the perfect combination of slutty and classy, fitting your form in the most flattering way. Checking yourself in the mirror revealed someone who looked pretty well put together, all things considered. You pulled on the matching shoes and felt again to be sure the cross necklace was still in place before speeding downstairs.

The guys fell silent at your arrival. It was clear from Deacon’s glare and from the residual energy in the room that they had been talking about you. Viago probably hadn’t gotten the others’ permission to invite you along. Having already made up your mind to go, you traipsed out the front door and began towards the bus stop, trusting them to follow you.

The bus ride into town was silent and awkward. Your flatmates all boarded ahead of you, and the bus was crowded. Your choice of seat was narrowed down to either squeezing yourself between Viago and the wall, or sitting in a row of three with Deacon and Vladislav. Given your relationship with Deacon, one erotic dance invitation notwithstanding, and what had happened the last time you had any real interaction with Vladislav, you chose to make yourself fit in the narrow space beside Viago. As the bus began to move, you realized that choosing the clearly uncomfortable space sent an explicit message to the other two that you did not want to sit with them.

Upon exiting the bus, the four of you formed a small huddle to discuss the evening’s game plan.

“Let’s go to Boogie Wonderland,” you offered. They shot you down. “Red Square?” They again refused. “Where do you guys usually go, then?”

“We could start out at the Big Kumara,” Deacon suggested. “I’m supposed to meet Jackie, anyway.”

The other two agreed easily, so you nodded as well. You didn’t know who Jackie was, and you’d never been to the Big Kumara, but as you approached it, you realized you’d seen it before, though never given it much attention. It was more of a townie bar than a club. That might be best, though, given that you didn’t do much for hair or makeup.

You guessed that the guys must be regulars given the odd and friendly greeting by the bouncer, and how a casual “She’s with us,” from Vladislav was enough to get you the same greeting.

The bar was quiet compared to the street outside. Other than the four of you, the only people there were the two seated at a booth and the bartender. It was simultaneously too dim to see well and too bright compared to the nightclubs you were expecting. It smelled more like the wood paneling on the walls than the greasy pub food you expected they served. Oh well, this night wasn’t really about were you went. It was about spending time with your flatmates. Or at the very least, placating Viago.

“I’ll get the first round. What do you guys want?”

“No thank you.”

“I’m not really in the mood right now.”

“I’m alright.”

You laughed.

They moved to take a larger booth.

“Oh, seriously?” you asked. Who turned down free booze?

“Ja,” Viago answered. “You go ahead, though, and meet us over there,” he said, pointing.

Whatever. It saved you some money. Still, why go to a bar and not get anything to drink?

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked.

You ordered your drink, plus a plate of chips for the table. When he returned with your drink, you gave him your card and asked for a glass of water as well. With the other guys not drinking, you figured you should do your best not to get wildly drunk.

Your beverages and fries in hand, you returned to the booth to find not just your flatmates, but an unfamiliar woman, as well.

“Hi,” you greeted her. “I’m Y/N. Help yourself to some chips.”

“Hi. Jackie,” she introduced herself. “I’m an old friend of Deacon’s.” She reached across the table to shake your hand before taking a few chips.

“Nice to meet you. Can I get you a drink?” You took a sip of yours.

“No,” Deacon answered for her. “Jackie isn’t staying. We just have some things to discuss.”

His tone brokered no discussion on your part. You wondered exactly how they knew each other. The two excused themselves from the table, leaving you, Viago, and Vladislav alone.

“‘Do you guys come here a lot?”

“We know the owner,” Vladislav answered, “so we can get in even on busy nights.”

You wondered if he meant nights that the Big Kumara was busy, or nights when Te Aro in general was busy. Because it was busy out on the street, and you imagined in other bars, right now.

“That’s cool.”

You downed your drink quickly in the awkward silence that followed, and didn’t bother to excuse yourself before going up to the bar for a second.

“Same?” the bartender asked.

You nodded. “Do you know those guys?” You gestured back to your booth.

“They’re in here a lot, yeah.”

“Are they a bit… odd?”

“No odder than anyone else who frequents here.” The bartender gave you a knowing smile that you did not return.

You sighed, taking your drink and returning to the booth, where Vladislav sat alone. You really weren’t in the mood to be alone with Vladislav yet, but you didn’t have much of a choice.

“Where’s Viago?” You took a big swig of your drink.

He pointed to the back exit, where Viago stood with Deacon and Jackie. “He’s trying to convince Deacon to get on board with Red Square.”

“Red Square?” You perked up, figuratively and literally, sitting a bit straighter in the booth. You suddenly felt lighter. If you had t sped an evening with the guys, it would be better to spend it in a place less conducive to conversation and one more conducive to partying.

He laughed gently. It was warm and fuzzy.

God, you were a lightweight.

“I like your laugh.”

His smile pulled gently at the corner of his mustache, and you found yourself staring at the gap between his front teeth. “I think you’re a bit of a lightweight.”

“Am not,” you lied.

He didn’t fight you on it. “The Big Kumara isn’t really your vibe, clearly, so we’re going to go to a club.”

You downed the rest of your drink quickly, and chased it with your water. Vladislav exited the booth and stood beside you, offering you a hand up.

“Can you walk?”

“I’m barely buzzed!” you protested before taking his hand. Looking up to his face, you realized he was joking. Teasing you. “Oh, ha ha, very funny.”

When you reached the exit, Jackie had left and Viago and Deacon were waiting for you. “Red Square?” Viago asked.

You nodded too eagerly. Perhaps you were a little bit tipsy.

Red Square was a few blocks away, but you were in fact a lightweight, and your buzz was turning you into quite the chatterbox.

“Jackie seems nice.”

Deacon nodded. “She’s okay.”

“I like her hair.”

You caught Vladislav’s smirk from behind his hair. “You think I’m funny,” you accused him.

“Sometimes.”

“Red Square!” You picked up speed as you saw the club.

“Five dollar cover,” the bouncer said.

“I got it.” You offered partly out of an effort to be friendly, and partly out of laziness, as the only cash you had on you was a twenty dollar bill.

You forged ahead into the loud, dark atmosphere as your flatmates all paused at the door. “What are you guys waiting for? Come in!”

As if suddenly convinced, the three entered the club.

“This place is amazing!” Viago yelled over the music.

“You’ve never been here?”

He shook his head.

“You’ll love it!”

Viago, Deacon, and Vladislav spoke among themselves before heading towards the dance floor. You made your way to the bar, grabbing a barstool that was luckily open, and ordering a drink. You scanned the room for your friends. It was hard to see through the crowd, though, and you couldn’t quite find them.

“Hey, gorgeous.” You turned to see someone new in the seat beside you. He was very attractive. Dark curls and stunning brown eyes, with a blindingly white smile. “Can I buy you a drink?”

As if on cue, the bartender returned with your order. “Sorry,” you told him.

He didn’t seem very bothered. “What brings a girl like you here all by herself?”

This guys was 0 for 10 on originality, but you smiled in spite of yourself. Whether due to him or the nice buzz you had going on, you weren’t sure.

“I’m actually here with my flatmates.” You gestured vaguely at the dance floor. “Y/N.” You introduced yourself.

“James.” You politely shook his hand, but felt a bit silly doing so. “I’m going to order a pretzel. Want in?”

“Heck yeah.”

After a fair bit of small talk, one pretzel, and the rest of your drink, James leaned close and whispered in your ear. It was nice, intimate. But maybe too intimate? “How about I buy you that drink now?”

“No thanks. I should probably get back to my friends.” You liked James. He was friendly and attractive, and very clearly into you. But he was getting hot and heavy a little too fast, and that really wasn’t what you were here for. In fact, you were beginning to feel a bit guilty for spending the evening away from the guys, since that was the whole point of Viago inviting you along.

“Come on,” he whispered, hand moving up your thigh.

You grabbed his hand and thrust it away. “I should find my friends.”

His hand moved to your upper arm, gripping just too tightly. “Don’t be such a bitch.”

“Hey!” You looked from James over to the bartender, who was too busy at the other end of the bar to notice what was going on.

“Is this guy bothering you?” You felt a wave of relief wash over you at Deacon’s familiar voice above you and his cool hand on your shoulder.

“Who the hell are-“ James paled as he looked up at Deacon, before almost falling off of his stool in his attempt to get away.

You looked over your shoulder, but Deacon seemed normal to you. “What did you-“

“Are you okay?” Deacon asked as he took James’ seat.

“Yeah. Thank you.” You ordered another drink from the passing bartender.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” You rubbed your arm absentmindedly. “I’m glad you were here, though. Where are the other guys?” you asked.

“I’m not sure.”

You scoured the club and briefly spotted Vladislav in a small booth with two women. Two, really? You couldn’t find Viago on the dance floor or in a booth.

“Viago told me what happened with you and Vladislav the other day.”

What?

“What?”

He repeated himself. “Viago told me what happened-“

“Nothing happened!” You were quick to defend yourself.

“I know, I know. I just wanted to explain why Viago said what he said.”

You didn’t love that they had been talking about you.

“It wasn’t about you at all. Once we found out our new flatmate was a woman, before me or Vlad even saw you, we made a blanket statement that no one would hit on you. Just as general precaution to avoid trouble.”

Hit on you or murder you, you guessed.

“There was a bit of a special emphasis placed on Vlad, but that still wasn’t about you. It’s just because he’s a bit of a, uh, ladies’ man, I guess. And knowing Vlad’s history, like Viago and I do, Viago just leapt to the wrong conclusion. It was about Vladislav, not you.”

You nodded, looking back to where Vladislav sat with two women. A ladies’ man. You could see that, you supposed. He wasn’t conventionally attractive, really, but he wasn’t unappealing. And there was something about him. A magnetism of some sort. You could see why women were drawn to him.

You thought about his laugh.

“I just figured Viago and Vladislav wouldn’t say anything about it to you.”

You downed almost your entire drink in one go. “Thanks.”

Deacon nodded.

“You know doing erotic dances for your friends is weird, right?”

[springday-aus]

Librarian!AU with Jinyoung

moodboard link

Group: GOT7

Member: Park Jinyoung 

Genre: fluff, romance

Type: Bulletpoint AU 

Word Count: 1.4k

so Jinyoung works at the library’s circulation desk part time nearby a college campus 

most of the time, it’s lil old ladies working there 

highkey the type that everyone oogles over because he’s so handsome 

like bro…. 

when Jinyoung was hired……. 

it’s almost as if people started to come to the library more often….. 

gee 

I wonder why when the light hits just right and he’s got on his circle glasses with a book in hand 

we love an educated man 

anyways 

to the actual librarian aspects 

he’s actually really resourceful, especially to all the college students who come in and don’t know where the fuck to start on a paper that is literally due that night 

but that ain’t gonna stop him from being like “you put this on yourself” 

@Yugyeom 

100% hunts people down about overdue books 

the other librarians tell him it’s fine 

but he remembers faces REALLY well 

Jinyoung: “this library card is literally expired” 

Jinyoung: “you’re the one that owes those overdue disks” 

Jinyoung: “you owe 69 cents” 

some student: “ah, you know what that means” 

Jinyoung: “yeah, I do—get out” 

Jinyoung: “Jackson, I’m not lending this out to you until you return Twlight: New Moon” :) 

stupid people come in all the time but he knows it can be a lot worse 

but like…… jesus christ 

some of these people….... are just testing him 

speaking of which, Jaebum def comes in to bother him all the time 

not like bother bother, but like…….. bother 

and with Jaebum comes the rest of got7 and that’s chaos alone 

imagine Bambam in a quiet space 

that’s right

you can’t 

their visits to the library almost always end with them getting kicked out by Jinyoung himself 

anyways there isn’t much to the job 

checks people’s books out, organizing books, and that’s pretty much it 

he probably organizes all the stuff he has to do and then chills at the front desk 

80% of the time he’s reading a book there 

it’s a real convenient job for Jinyoung, especially since he really likes quiet spaces 

because everyone’s like studying or something, it makes him want to be productive too 

and yeah people are awful 

but at least they’re quiet (for most of the time) 

so where do you come in? 

you come in to study nearly every weeknight 

there’s just so much work you have to do 

and it’s insane 

you need like a quiet space to work and the library’s just……… 

there 

remember what I said about Jinyoung remembering faces? 

he knows yours 

most of the time, when he’s working, you’ll be at the table in the corner, working away 

he admires your work ethic 

(even though sometimes you’ll watch the strangest Youtube videos whenever you take a break) 

it was kind of like this for a while

he would just be working and so would you 

so what happens? 

you lost your wallet 

**cue you internally screaming as you rummage through your bag**

you literally have like a mental breakdown as you were back at your home 

that literally had everything you needed 

your ID card 

bus pass 

insurance cards

even the fucking buy 6 get 1 free for the froyo you love to get 

now you have to start all over 

you’re freaking the fuck out 

and all of your friends tell you the same thing “retrace your steps and if you don’t find it, let the companies all know the situation” 

so that’s where you start 

you literally look through every nook and cranny as you retrace your steps 

the last stop is at the library

you’re literally crawling on top and below the table, searching for the wallet you lost 

Jinyoung’s working at the desk, as per usual 

he’s literally just watching you scramble around 

okay 

not like that 

but like no one is really here and you’re moving around so quickly 

anyways 

after like 15 minutes of searching, you walk up to the desk 

you’ve literally been coming here for months and this is literally the first time you’ve walked up to the desk 

Jinyoung acts like he doesn’t see you heading his way, making it look like he’s invested in his book 

You: “ahem” 

he looks at you with his glasses on the bridge of his nose 

You: “has anyone brought up a wallet?” 

when you were here earlier, Jinyoung may or may not had noticed a little wallet falling out of your bag as you packed your things to leave 

Jinyoung: “I saw one earlier, but I’ll check if it’s still here” 

you just wait at the desk, tapping on it as Jinyoung goes through the lost and found bin 

he walks back up to the desk and gently places it down 

Jinyoung: “I’m not sure if it is yours, so you should check it—” 

you look overjoyed at the familiar patterned wallet 

You: “thank you, thank you, thank you—I owe you my life” 

you’ve grabbed ahold of his arms and your eyes sparkle at him like a savior 

he’s a bit flustered from your thanks and smiles at you, as you continue to ramble 

You: “you don’t understand, you literally saved from doing like 900 things to get all the stuff back; I will literally pay for your dinner or something. I literally am so grateful—” 

you cut yourself off, realizing what that sounded like 

You: “nevermind, cross that out, I’m so sorry, I’ll just leave or something before I look like an even bigger idiot—” 

Jinyoung just chuckles at your rambling 

Jinyoung: “sure” 

You: “wait what” 

Jinyoung has nothing to lose 

you’re cute—he’s noticed you for a while 

one date can’t hurt 

Jinyoung: “I’ll let you take me out” 

so you two set up a date

y’all went to dinner like you said 

but, like a gentleman, he didn’t let you pay

Jinyoung: “you can pay on the next date” 

dating Jinyoung is as cute as it sounds 

there’s lots of cute, study dates when he’s working and you have things you have to do 

but now you sit closer to the desk

and he spends a majority of the time near your table 

he’s not a big PDA person, but with the look in his eyes anyone can tell y’all are together 

anyways 

it’s not just at the library, but y’all also chill at places like cafes and bookshops too 

speaking of book shops

y’all go bookshop hopping a lot t

hey’re cute to go to 

oooo AND he’ll probably read to you 

imagine your head in his lap and his fingers are going through your hair and his voice 

y’all 

his voice

anyways 

speaking of home dates 

imagine him cooking for you 

hmmmm 

he would def do that bc Jinyoung is such boyfriend material 

straight up he’s the ideal son-in-law 

he’s smart 

attractive 

talented 

well-mannered 

I can literally go on for DECADES 

okay but there’s like this weird switch

he’s usually so mature around you 

but like..... as time goes 

he’s also lowkey a child with you 

like yes this man is domestic as hell but then again….. 

there was this one time you were hanging with 97 line 

y’all were making fun of him (out of love) 

**cue Yugyeom singing shake it shake it for me** 

(apparently he and Jaebum wrote a song in high school together and now none of got7 will ever let it go) 

Jinyoung proceeded to glare at him 

and you just kept laughing 

two weeks later and he’s still pouty about it 

You: come onnnnnnn 

You: baby pls look at me 

Jinyoung: why don’t you just keep singing instead 

You: omg let it go 

OOOH 

SPEAKING OF SINGING 

YO 

karaoke dates are the bomb 

they get even more lit with got7 

the minute Big Bang is on, it gets real crazy 

last time y’all got kicked out 

because Youngjae kept running into the wall from dancing 

and BamBam was on the table 

but each time you go, Jinyoung will sing a ballad and you’re 100% whipped 

it’s fine 

y’all are both whipped for each other 

he really takes care of you 

and vice versa 

y’all have a system

in summary: lots of fun dates and support and love for each other 

[ziracona]

Do you have any favorite drinks and foods headcanons for ilm?? I feel like Meg would like Shirley templess 👀

Hmmm for sure but there’s so many characters I don’t know how to comprehensively answer this, haha. Meg probably would enjoy that. I think she drinks sometimes for fun or bc it seemed like a good idea at the time, but actually prefers non-alcoholic, because it’s not that great to her, and also because you have to not take your adhd meds if you plan on drinking that day as they interact, and amphetamine > depressant lol. I think she enjoys fruity mixed non-alcoholic stuff a lot. Specially if it got that 👌 zest 👌 to it.

Meg is a huge nerd who likes most of her favorite foods for fan reasons. Her favorite food is chocolate chip cookies with blue chocolate chips because of Percy Jackson. Favorite drink she would probably say is coke, but in reality it’s probably some kind of non-alcoholic cocktail she wouldn’t think to name.

Jake has a proficient pallet from being rich and can actually tell a huge difference in food quality, but hates this and is determined not to be the spoiled rich shithead who only deins to eat from a plate prepared by someone who graduated prestigious culinary school at the top of their class. Has forced himself to acquire a taste for lean meats and nuts. Would request like salted cashews if Meg was getting snacks & she’d throw a fit bc mixed nuts isn’t a treat and he would be offended she was judging his pick. Secretly really appreciates diligently and artfully prepared food. Does not like lamb. He will hunt and there’s not much he feels bad about eating, but he saw a lamb going to get slaughtered as a kid and absolutely will not stomach that as food ever since. Would feel weak & has probably only mentioned it to Dwight, or maybe Claudette, bc she’d never judge or be mean, or maybe Quentin, Kate, or Adam, because Quentin & Kate would agree, and Adam is like, the chillest man ever.

Dwight likes sea salt and vinegar chips, beers, Pepsi, pretzels, steak, and (secretly) those frosted animal crackers. Gets shit constantly for his taste in food and drink. Just wants to be left alone. One time Claudette drank a beer with him to make him feel better bc everyone else was making fun of him for liking beer and she is sweetheart.

Claudette enjoys a dish her mom makes out of fried onions, squash, artichokes, and optionally also mushrooms, probably more than any other food in the world. It is really good. Favorite drink is sparkling grape juice. It makes her feel like she is drinking champagne, but it actually tasted good, and won’t get her drunk or hungover. Also likes tea a lot. Most green and white tea types especially.

Nea likes almost anything with a cronch when you bite into it. Enjoys fish too, and curry the way Min makes it (which is very rushed college student but like, rushed college student with standards). Really likes empanadas after being introduced to them. Also genuinely really loved both Claudette’s amaranth oatmeal and her realm cookies, and since she and Quentin kind of ‘grew up’ inside the realm, it’s also like, surreally and kind of heartbreakingly, a nostalgic and comforting childhood memory to her. They remind her of times she was more okay as a teenager. :’-] Favorite drink is probably a kind of complicated cocktail that is very strong but also sweet and tangy, nursed for a long time. Or a sports drink if she’s on the go. (Lol her fave drink is just the alcoholic version of Meg’s).

Min likes anything spicy that is prepared well, but especially likes meat dishes. Girl wants her protein so she can kick ass. Really loves Ace’s cooking. Smell is 70% of taste. Spice it up, fam. Only knows how to cook 3 dishes on her own, but they’re a good 3. Doesn’t have a single fave. Although she does greatly enjoy just like, devouring a slab of meat if Anna cooks. It makes her feel like a powerful wild beast to just shred a flank with her teeth and she digs that. Fave drink is baijiu, although more in a competitive way because it’s alcoholic af & she can stomach it than actually for taste or pleasure. For taste she will just mooch off Nia & Ace, who both like fruity alcohol.

Ace likes a homemade bread recipe of his mother’s most (I think he and Frank are the only two with stated favorites in-fic?). Makes it a lot for the girls and for friends, and everyone likes it so this works out well. Enjoys martinis and any fruity alcohol, but is good about not actually getting drunk past lucidity. Also enjoys just really nice brands of various juice (mango is probably his favorite?)

Quentin likes his Dad’s pasta recipes probably most, but doesn’t have a favorite from among them. Also likes red velvet cake a lot because he only ever gets it on his birthday and it makes him happy. His mom died when he was really young and he pretty much doesn’t remember her, but one of the memories he still has is of her giving him birthday cake. It’s the time of year he always feels closest to her. Favorite drink is energy drinks because he’s stupid and likes to play god with his body and knock back adderall with shots of redbull. Didn’t like energy drinks so much before Freddy, and back then probably Coca-Cola or something was the fave, but now energy drinks are associated with comfort in his head, so he genuinely likes them. Also really likes M&Ms. Used to treat himself to a bag from the school vending machine if he had a shitty day, so they are also associated with comfort.

David likes chips (as in fries cut UK style/thick, not American chips). He is enlightened and sees the true value of all potato products as well, and honors them as such. Also is the enjoyable kind of person who genuinely & visibly appreciates most all good food. He likes beers too (you and Dwight, buddy) although he’s got better taste in them. His favorite drink is probably coffee though. He likes strong coffee, full body, with just a little bit of cream and sugar so it’s still bitter but has a pleasant edge to it. Not sure why that’s his favorite. He just really likes it.

Laurie likes strawberry milk. Would give that answer if asked for fave food or drink. If prompted further would consider, then suggest that as her drink, and some kind of really nice soup as her favorite—probably pumpkin. Will genuinely enjoy any gift of food someone picked out for her with some thought. Also loves Mac’n Cheese a lot, but would not admit to that to everyone because she’s kind of embarrassed that as many times as she’s had it in the past two years alone, her heart still sees a warm bowl and years for the good shit.

Kate likes fruit. Mangos, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, peaches, pears, pomegranates. Has the patience to eat a pomegranate too. Would just say “fruit” if asked. Loves to pick it fresh. Favorite drink is probably a smoothie, but she would insist that counts. What flavor would vary, but she leans towards blueberry or raspberry on default because she likes the colors.

Tapp likes Chinese food. Mostly this is because Chinese takeout was the nicest thing he could ever afford on the reg as a treat. However, he gets to eat real chow mein and mapo tofu (former made by Ace, the latter by Min—spicy mapo tofu being one of the 3 dishes she knows), and decides those are now his favorite food. Would not ask people to make that because it would be being a hassle, and he would think it wouldn’t matter and would be stupid & not worthwhile to request a dish when visiting a friend, but gets excited internally when they make that & gives sincere and generous compliments. Tried and failed super badly to learn how to make both, but Rachel Thomas (who didn’t know at all how to either but is great at teaching herself shit) helped him figure it out and now he makes them as often as he can without feeling like it will get old/annoy the people living with him. Favorite drink is whiskey but that’s for depression reasons. For genuine enjoyment, he likes probably just juice. Orange or pomegranate.

Adam shares Min’s enjoyment of spicy foods, but is really into trying new things and genuinely doesn’t have a favorite. If he had to pick, he’d probably say Bulla cake, because it is his favorite desert/treat. He really enjoys them & they are nostalgic to him. Good memories of his childhood. His uncle wasn’t always great at knowing what to say, but used to pack him one to take to school any time he knew Adam was stressed or intimidated by an exam or due project. Even if it went bad, he had a comfort reward for making it through. Always buys them when he’s somewhere he can. Favorite drink is tea. He likes a wide variety, but masala, jasmine, and ginger are some constant favorites. Would actually know, care about, and adhere to proper boiling/steeping times per tea type.

Jeff likes baked goods. He really enjoys the baking process itself a whole lot, especially if he has people he can cook for/share with. Definitely has created several original & very good bread recipes. Prefers bready goods to sweet ones. About the sweetest fave he has is basic scones (just bread/no nuts or fruit or filling. Slightly sweet bread with a little sugar on top, meant to be paired with jams etc when eaten). Likes those a lot. Favorite drink shifts from subtype to subtype, but is always one of his homemade craft beers. Also enjoys Dr. Pepper (ah I knew I was forgetting—both he & Joey also have some stated canon favorites. So does Susie).

Jane’s favorites are both things her dad makes. He has a really good ceviche recipe and a complicated secret recipe bean dip, and Jane likes snacking on those with a bowl of chips while chatting on the porch. Slow meal extends both fun of chat and fun of conversation. And her dad has a really good sense of spice use. She can make both well too, but is convinced they taste completely different when she does & distressed by this. Her dad insists they taste the same, but also always sympathetically packs her some time take home anyway. Her favorite drink is probably either coffee or wine, out of familiarity and comfort. She’s not very particular though. As a treat she enjoys moccacinos with a ton of whipped cream a whole lot though.

This was already super long so I’m gonna stop here, but I wood cry if I didn’t include at least Philip in what is now clearly just a survivor lineup. So honorary addition:

Philip likes anything really cold and refreshing. Prefers things with a little bite, so he would pick a cola or alcohol over a fruity drink. Not a big preference past that. Always touched and surprised any time a friend goes into a gas station pitstop and comes back with /any/ ice cold beverage for him, no matter how many times it happens. The gesture to him is very much genuine kindness instead of a friendly nothing. For food, he likes anything with enough substance to actually make him not hungry. So meat dishes are a big plus, as is nice bread. He doesn’t have a favorite meal-meal, probably, but there is a kind of cookie made entirely of egg whites and sugar, that is beaten and fluffy and sweet like a cloud and really delicious somehow despite having almost no substance. Philip had no knowledge of these, but Claudette made him some one morning she was feeling happy not too long after they both first went home to Montreal, and the meringue chocolate chip cookie variant she made was one of the best things he had ever eaten, and probably is his favorite food. They’re like little bites of the concept of sweetness without it being an overdose, and have a very unique and pleasing texture. With the chocolate added, it’s just right. 👌 And then also, of course, it was a gift welcoming to his new home, from the person who more or less is his new home. : )

[frankieshq]

[ itzy vc ] hey, hey, hey, it’s your girl summer coming at you with her twenty years of mediocre existence to present miss FRANKIE KWON. meet my self-conscious, awkward babie who uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism. you can find info about her under the cut !! i might have written a long ass bio that i didn’t bother to finish on a google docs but will be linking that one soon.

BACKGROUND

[tl;dr: young girl grows up in a matriarchal household that is heavy with regret and blame. dad comes and makes her childhood a bit happier, only to leave and break her heart because he’s an asshole. grows up thinking her smarts is gonna save her, but it’s actually her humor that does]

to truly understand frankie kwon, one must go way back--back to when her grandparents first immigrated to michigan. landing in detroit, sunhwa kwon and her husband didn’t have it easy. she had a two-year-old hanging by her neck and a brilliant but unambitious husband. she had to struggle with odd jobs for years while taking care of her family and helping her husband learn english, so he can use his engineering degree in america. she became a severe woman, never softened by affection but hardened by grit and hard work. eventually, the her husband was able to land a stable job and the family relocated to chelsea. 

sunhwa made sure to train and hone her daughter jina’s natural intellect, but her methods were severe and lacking in affection. jina looked for the affection she didn’t find at home elsewhere. she fell in love with the first boy that called her beautiful, and at eighteen, gave birth to francesca areum kwon. 

and so it goes that frankie was born in a household  heavy with guilt, blame, and regret. there was love there somewhere, but it was constantly shadowed by feelings that existed way before she did. the emotional scars her mother and grandmother inflicted on each other were too deep-seated that their love for each other hid behind a cover of blame and snark. at a young age, frankie learned how to read a room, learned what to say or do so as to not aggravate the precarious balance of their household. she learned how to figure out whether her mother was too tired from work or whether her grandmother was in a snappy mood. it was a tightrope dance she learned how to perfect, growing up faster than she should have. 

all her grandmother’s lost hope for her mother transferred to frankie, and her grandma supervised her education with the same vigor. although, this time, she was a tad bit more affectionate to her granddaughter (i mean all grandmas can’t resist their grandchildren, let’s be real). her mom wanted to protest, but aside from the guilt, she was always busy. being a single mom was hard enough, but she also had to take care of her aging mother.

frankie is a shy kid by nature, but her household just intensified this predisposition. she had few friends because she was scared about approaching kids first. she spends her time watching cartoons, studying, and writing in her journal.

enter: frankie’s dad, andrew grant. he left chelsea and his pregnant ex-gf bc he’s an asshole. but he comes back nine years later because he failed at whatever version of the american dream he was following at that time.

he taught frankie to have fun !! she’d spend afternoons at his car shop bantering with him and telling jokes. eventually, she relayed these jokes to people at school and was shocked when people actually laughed. she became more well-liked, developed a sense humor, and had more friends. the ages 9-12 were probably her happiest. 

at 12 years old, she got invited to a middle school sleepover for the weekend. but she had a big test on monday, and her grandma doesn’t allow her to go to stuff if she has tests the next schoolday. with the help of her mom, she was able to go to it by pretending it was a school event. had so much fun and forgot to study. she didn’t get a grade high enough for her grandmother to be happy, though. once her grandma found out what she did and her mom’s involvement, she was livid !! that was the biggest fight her grandma and mom got into and frankie was grounded for a month. the worst part was, throughout the fight, frankie felt like she was a burden to the two women she loved the most. she felt like she was the reason her mother was always tired, constantly nagged on by her grandmother about wasted potential.

to make matters worst, her dad left town again. fell in love with some other venture. he told her he would come back but never did. 

since that day, frankie dedicated herself full force to her studies. she felt like she needed to make it up to her mom and grandma for all their sacrifices. she built a wall around herself because it’s easier that way. she had few friends, but it was better for her.

her grandmother died during her senior year of high school. she loved her grandma, but she felt as if a weight lifted from her chest. her mom encouraged her to go to school as far as she liked. 

she got a scholarship to columbia and studied statistics like the big nerd that she is !!

she met roman and lucy here, finally felt that she had friends that she felt she can really open to. 

after college, she worked for a firm. she finally felt secure, like she payed some sort of unsaid debt to her grandma but she wasn’t happy, folks :(((

she first did stand-up as a dare on an open mic and she was so shocked that people laughed. she was tipsy then, and kept made self-deprecating jokes of her childhood trauma. love that for her.

the more stand-up she did, though, the more nervous she got because she gets really worried if she’s doing things right. instead of improving, she got worse because her nerves always get to her. don’t get me wrong the jokes are great, it’s just that her execution doesn’t always land.

comedy was just a vERY beloved side hobby for her until a small production company based on youtube offered her a writer position. she would get to  write their skits and stuff, but she it payed wAY less than her present job. she was like fuck it, and took the offer. she wanted to make people laugh.

that leads us to here, a girl who is still unsure whether leaving a secure job was the way to go, secretly hoping to be a famous comedian.

PERSONALITY

frankie is like a spring roll you guys. outside, she masks her awkwardness and shyness with some cRunCHy self-deprecating jokes and sarcasm. so, she has an intimidating exterior because she tries to be tougher than she actually is. inside, she’s just a soft and sad girl. she doesn’t talk much if she isn’t comfortable with you, but once she is, she talks a loT. but it does take a while for her to warm up to people. can be extremely judgmental (a trait inherited from her grandma), but her mind can be changed. isn’t stubborn, though, and is actually a doormat. the type of person to say something and obsess over it because she’s scared that it might have offended someone. 

HEADCANONS

lots of repressed femininity because there was a lot of internal misogyny in her household growing up !! it was only until college with the help of lucy, that she was able to access her girlier side. 

is a lesbian, but has a lot of internal homophobia as well. her grandma was a very traditional woman, so frankie feels very guilty about liking girls, and is very hesitant about going on dates and actively looking for relationships even though she’s really lonely.

likes writing a lot !! used to keep journals since she was 8 because it honestly made her feel less lonely growing up. 

nOBODY CALL HER FRANCESCA. she hates that name, but likes her second name a lot. only her grandma called her areum tho.

spends a lot of time at  mon’s deli, and mon could also be counted as her bff. she and the old man gossip and chitchat about the bennington street residents for hours. is this also because she is in dire need of a father figure?? maybe, yes, absolutely

used to have really low alcohol tolerance, but sort of grew out of it?? if she doesnt drink for a month or two tho, her tolerance goes back to zero like dont ask me, i dont make the rules

still a big fan of cartoons and kid humor !! loves amazing world of gumball and steven universe

makes her own kimchi because her grandma and mom have a special family recipe, will happily share if she likes you

i imagine the level of closeness she has in the group varies, like she’s closer to some people than others and acts differently around them

would really like to do stand-up again but still has stage fright

want her to either end up working on something as big as snl or writing movies or overcoming her stage fright and becoming a successful stand-up comedienne !!

[a-very-fond-farewell]

The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 25/?

Gaming Chat AU [xuexiao + songxiao = ?]: “Lie to Me”

[tw cyber bullying; tw use of slurs; tw fake suicide mention; there’s a redemption arc, but it starts with 15yo Xue Yang being... well, himself I guess. so be warned.]

[attn!: I don’t know shit about playing games and going to quests with strangers on the internet so bear with me. if you feel inspired by this please, by all means, feel free to use this prompt and write something and then tag me so I can read it and reblog it!]

[enjoy!]

*

It’s been 15 years since that idiotic intern at the school counseling center suggested him to... what did he say? “Channel his anger in something productive”. And then tried to talk Meng Shi into purchasing a fucking computer to let him “get off some steam” by killing fictional people instead of smashing actual valuable objects like, say, the principal’s Mercedes with a stolen golf club, or, the nurse’s desk with a fire extinguisher back in middle school.

Good thing Su She had disappeared under mysterious circumstances after Xue Yang had surreptitiously let the intern’s uni professor know in a detailed email how the aspiring counselor had suggested him (a sweet innocent 15 year old) to use his new computer to watch porn instead of focusing on his studies. Song Lan was much better than him, and bitchier too, which was fine by Xue Yang anyway. Not that he cared.

What good had that stupid glorified television brought him in the end? Most of the computers at school had become intimately familiar with many a malware and virus already with how frequently he used to browse through the deep web. The ones at the local library had let him in on the secrets of 4ch*n since the tender age of 8. Hell, even his pediatrician had made the glorious mistake to leave him alone in her office one merry day of winter when he discovered the wonders of x-rated videos.

But Meng Shi had tried to cheer him up anyway, buying him that stupid thing. Working her ass off at the bar trying to make social services forget she used to be a stripper back in the days. All to provide a place for children in foster care to feel safe, the stupid hag. Xue Yang wasn’t fucking stupid, he knew she was collecting money for every kid ever stepping inside her ratty flat. He knew that she would have never adopted anyone for real because she already had a son and she was working to send him to university anyway.

Yet, she had come home one day with a big smile on her youngish and bland face, hoisting up the heavy computer in a box, and told Xue Yang to share it with his siblings. Yeah, fuck that. That little bitch A-Qing was even worse than him, and she probably used to sell feet-pictures recycled from the internet to disgusting men online. To this day Xue Yang is none the wiser and he doesn’t need to know what that fucking witch had been up to at 14. XuanYu would have used the computer to stream and torrent shit nonstop to sell at school even if he was only, like, 12. Qin Su was 15 like him and she would have been tempted to set up a fucking YT channel and subject him and XuanYu to whatever scientific experiment she would have come up with. And Meng Yao had too much embarrassing blackmail material on Xue Yang already, he didn’t need to have access on his erased search history after digging gods-knows for how long.

Ahah no. No thanks.

But detention got him occupied for so long by cutting library books pages down to papermen without getting bored out of his mind. And he did have his fun that one time when he caught a pervert with a hand down his pants when they chatted on Om*gle after Xue Yang had catfished him good by pretending to be a girl. Got everything on tape and published the whole interaction on the school website for everyone to see. Which had been appropriate at the time, given that the man had been part of the board of directors. Fittingly hilarious too.

Still, boredom loomed over him like a quilt of sadness on summer break and he had been tempted to log in and play games in the end. Nobody wanted him in their stupid ass teams anyway, with him having higher kill counts than them and all, not following tactics and so on. Whatever.

Until one day user shuan_ghua naively trusted Xue Yang when the other assured him that “teabagging“ was just a fancy slang for ordering a cup of jasmine tea. The 17 year old boy named Xiao XingChen had thanked him for teaching something new to him and then proceeded to ask him to join his one-man-party out of fucking nowhere.

Everything changed after that.

[more under the cut. it’s long long tho]

XXC family!:

XXC is 17 at the beginning of the story and he used to live with his mother Baoshan [i know that “Sanren” and “Daoren” are titles, but in absence of a real surname I will use them as such for this prompt. feel free to change that if you take inspiration from this post to write your take on the story] and the rest of their family on a mountain before they moved back to the city in Gusu.

XXC’s mother was barely 20 when she got married the first time and her first son Daoren YanLing was born. two years later her husband died and she travelled a lot afterwards, adopting 4yo CanSe when she was 25. then she married again at 41, had XXC at 44, and then divorced at 48.

CanSe eloped with ChangZe when she was 18 and got WWX at 20, the same year her own mother got married again (at 41).

BaoShan got XXC three years later (at 44).

hence, WWX is 3 whole ass years older than XXC despite being his nephew. both boys find the thing absolutely hilarious.

YanLing and CanSe are only 1 year apart and they still bicker nonstop. both of them went to school with Lan QiRen and his older brother and frequently got in fights back in the days at Gusu.

(if YanLing had a thing for Lan QiRen, well, nobody has to know)

XXC, being the baby of his family, is doted on by YanLing and brought to mischief by CanSe until XXC’s father divorces their mother and they move on the mountain along with ChangZe and 7yo WWX.

up on the mountain BaoShan works as a tour guide and she takes baby XXC and WWX on hikes along with tourists to admire the beauty of the scenery.

XXC’s sight starts deteriorating when he is 12 and WWX is 15. they have been homeschooled until then, so when it gets clear XXC will not improve much so far away from proper healthcare, the whole family moves back to the city in Gusu.

XXC is not comfortable leaving his new home, not with all those new noises and flashing lights. WWX is drawn to them instead, more than happy to enroll in school, where he meets JC and he realizes the boy is the son of CanSe’s middle school boyfriend. WWX declares them to be almost-brothers and is perfectly fine with adopting even JC’s older sister in the family and CanSe can only laugh at that. JC and YanLi visit XXC often as a result and they help him make sense of the new environment without stressing him too much.

YanLing finds a job as a cook in WWX’s school and he is back to making Lan QiRen’s life impossible after learning the man is a teacher there.

LWJ and LXC’s mother is a music teacher there as well and YanLing bonds with her to make Lan QiRen life’s an absolute nightmare.

LWJ and LXC make friends with the mountain gremlins and they are initially horrified by their manners: XXC would pick food from the ground and eat it, it doesn’t have to be his for that to happen to begin with; WWX doesn’t realize he should cut his nails (both for his feet and hands) until he is forced to wear shoes outside and not climb up trees, for he assumed nails simply never grew bc he used them constantly, wearing them down; etc.

LWJ hates himself for falling for WWX but he cannot care less.

LXC notices how lonely XXC feels when wangxian becomes a thing, so he buys him a computer to better gather more information about the world and adjust the settings to maximum accessibility whenever XXC wants to read something.

by the age of 17 XXC is mostly left alone in the house: WWX goes to uni; his mother BaoShan works at a local museum; his brother YanLing is trying to not get fired at his job; and his sister CanSe has started to travel with her husband selling the delicate dizi flutes ChangZe makes as an artisan.

XXC is also on the waiting list for an important eye surgery and he figures he has a couple of years to go before he will either lose his sight or be granted a second chance at life altogether.

XY’s family!:

Meng Shi had Meng Yao at 19 and started stripping the following year in Yunmeng. 

her friend SiSi helped her both financially and emotionally, spending time with A-Yao while she worked at night. after four years she can move out of her flat and finds a job as a bartender downtown. she would have kept her old job, if SiSi hadn’t convinced her to think of A-Yao first, who was painfully shy and didn’t know how to socialize with other kids his age.

at 24 she starts the paperwork to become a foster parent and has to child-proof her entire apartment before the first kid arrives. at 25 she welcomes Qin Su, who is only 5, and initially A-Yao doesn’t want to share his mother with anyone. the situation gets bad to the point social services have to take Qin Su away one year later, because she tried to set A-Yao’s hair on fire in retaliation once, but two years later Meng Shi gets her back.

A-Yao, now 9 years old, has thought about it and reasoned that having a sister wasn’t so bad after all. Qin Su is only one year younger than him and she will not take up much space, right? wrong. but they bond over their shared nerdiness and while A-Su likes to blow things up, A-Yao helps his mother with taxes every year.

at 29 Meng Shi takes in XuanYu, who is not an orphan like A-Su, and still misses his birth mother fiercely. she had to give him up for adoption when he was 3, because she had been only 15 when XuanYu was born and her family threatened to disown her. 

being profoundly deaf on top of that, no foster home wanted to have him and he was kept in the system for three years after his mother had to let him go. the woman had tried to be present for him while he waited for a family to pick him, teaching him sign language and reading lips, but she had been forced to eventually let go.

XuanYu arrives at Meng Shi’s when he’s 6. A-Yao (10yo) and A-Su (9yo) try their best to involve their new brother, but they don’t know how to communicate with him. SiSi takes the children to sign language classes at the community center after school and XuanYu warms up to them. he teaches Meng Shi what they learned the previous day every morning, before going to school. teachers don’t really pay attention to him, but he manages by reading lips when people face him properly, which is a rare occurrence, but he tries his best.

when A-Yao and A-Su realizes A-Yu is being bullied, they start to get nasty, setting backpacks on fire and terrorizing the other children at school. even when they move to middle school one after the other nobody picks on A-Yu, fearing what his siblings could do.

XY arrives at Meng Shi’s when she is 32 (A-Yu is 9, A-Su is 12, A-Yao is 13) and XY is 12. A-Su initially gets jealous bc they are the same age, but XY doesn’t talk to anyone for a year and ignores her attempts to rile him up. Meng Shi had been warned about him: his father had killed his mother and then failed to kill himself afterwards... and XY still believed the man was out there, looking for him to finish the job. XY had lived on the street for years before social services could find him, but he had felt trapped like a dog, not wanting to be touched, frequently running away.

XY doesn’t remember much of his life before entering foster care. he only knows everything is a bother, that his nightmares give him constant migraines, and that he doesn’t care how he lost one of his fingers. but anyone who makes fun of him for that gets kicked, that’s for sure.

it’s only when A-Qing (12) comes one year after XY’s arrival that things get a bit better... so to speak. 

she is even less well behaved than him, thrashing around at night, screaming at the top of her lungs, saying that she doesn’t want to be there. that she’s better than the rest of them combined. 

her anger issues trigger something in XY and the two of them get into fights with each other constantly.

A-Yao (14) and A-Su (13), reminiscing of the 2 years they spent apart because they couldn’t stop hitting each other up, take the issue seriously and convince Meng Shi to ask for help. SiSi is the one taking A-Qing and XY to therapy two times a week and they are followed through by professionals who know how to tackle their issues, an elderly woman who goes by the name of Lan Yi (LWJ and LXC’s paternal grandma) and her assistant Wen Qing, an intern working there for uni credits.

one year later XY is 14 and A-Qing is 13 and they... don’t really love each other, but at least they can talk to one another without trying to kill anyone in the process. they spend a lot of time with A-Yu (11) and learn sign language to keep him entertained.

by the age of 35, Meng Shi has 5 kids and can barely afford food for herself but she is happy like never before. A-Yao (16) is already considered smart enough to attend advanced math classes in high school. A-Su (15) has won a science competition sponsored by city hall. A-Yang (15) is trying to work on his anger issues with video games, making friends online. A-Qing (14) doesn’t let anyone make fun of her for her dyslexia, asking adults and classmates to take her issue seriously for once. And A-Yu (12) wants to learn how to sign in different languages to maybe travel the world one day.

Meng Shi is very happy indeed.

now, the plot: (tw fake suicide mention; tw use of homophobic slurs)

XY (15) and XXC (17) meet online every night before bed, playing video games together. XY made a mistake first time they chatted, saying he was 17 instead of 15 bc he didn’t want the other to look down on him.

XXC trusts him a little too much and doesn’t question if his new friend is lying to him or not. he’s the funnies person he has ever met, after all.

WWX (20) notices something is wrong by the way XXC starts speaking around others, using inappropriate language when he has never been anything but polite and gentle. even if, technically, XXC is WWX’s uncle, the latter sees the other more like a cousin than anything else given that he’s older. so he takes the matter in his own hands and one day asks him to let him play games with him.

XY doesn’t like his only friend not telling him someone else would have joined their party, and initially he covers XXC in insults and threatens to leave. but then WWX is really good at killing fictional people and XY reconsiders. he makes fun of WWX for being the older one AND the other’s nephew at the same time, but aside from that he doesn’t try to run away like a caged animal anymore.

WWX trust XXC when the younger says XY is 17 like him, but he still supervisions most of their sessions just to be sure XY cannot teach too many horrible things to XXC. WWX wants XXC to make more friends and maybe one day leave the house to attend university if the other will feel inclined to do so, but he doesn’t pressure him.

in the meantime, XY changes counselor at school and it is Song Lan (23) who tries to make a better human out of him. SL is deaf and occasionally uses cochlear implants to hear, but only because his family made the choice for him to have surgery when he was only a child. he can speak if he feels like it at times (not frequently, he’s very adamant about reminding others he doesn’t owe them anything. he’s also trying to make a change at the school where he works by organizing classes on Deaf culture and sign language for the students to take as an elective)

XY already knew of SL thanks to XuanYu, bc A-Yu had seen the counselor at the community center where SiSi usually takes the kids to for sign language classes. counseling at school doesn’t really happen one-on-one, detention kids being too many to follow one at a time and all, but when SL comes by to chat with them he’s always funny as fuck and XY (who will never admit it) feels good about being the only one in class able to understand SL only through sign language.

SL forces himself to talk to the kids and read their lips only bc... well, they’re young and did nothing wrong to him. he occasionally asks XY to help him translate, but aside from that there are really too many kids to look after and he doesn’t treat XY differently from the others, nor he notices him much.

two years pass and XXC (19) announces to XY (17) that wangxian (22) is having their wedding. since XY has learned all about their family, he asks XXC if it’s a common thing to get married super young in their household and XXC laughs... but it’s a sad and brittle thing and XY gets a bit worried.

XXC reveals then that soon after the wedding he will have a surgery to (hopefully) fix his sight and he’s very anxious. he timidly asks XY if he wants to go to the wedding with him, because he would like to see his face at least once before the surgery.

XY panics: he knew XXC’s eyesight was bad, but he never knew to what extent exactly; he’s not really of age yet, so he cannot move on the other side of the country just to attend a wedding; he has never talked specifically about XXC with his family and Meng Shi is working a lot and A-Yu should get his hearing aids soon and A-Qing needs help for her finals and... and...

...and he’s not ready to meet XXC.

XY lied to him and told him they’re the same age. he had never told XXC his name, even if the other had revealed his own, always going by his username jiang_zai. he called him and chatted with him and made fun of his own family and the other had been nothing but kind and amazing and... and... and XY realizes he’s been in love for a while and he abhors the idea to the point where he openly laughs at XXC and calls him a sap.

XXC notices the change in his tone immediately and wonders if he’s overstepped, if he’s asked too much by inviting the other over to celebrate with the rest of the family. XXC apologizes to XY and begs him to not step away like he usually does when he feels cornered.

XY feels absolutely cornered and attacks XXC by asking him why he’s so keen on asking him out (“are you a f*g or something?” etc.). the other doesn’t even know what that means but hearing XY so scared hurts, bc he doesn’t want to make the other uncomfortable in any way.

XXC does like XY romantically, but would never dream to say anything and hinder their friendship. yet, it hurts more to hear his only friend so afraid and angry. he apologizes profusely and promises him not to bring the subject back.

after that, XY doesn’t log in much, avoiding XXC. A-Yao (18) notices he’s sullen and tries to spend more time with him, but the younger doesn’t budge and talks less and less. even SL (25) sees XY less and less, but he doesn’t thinks the younger one is actually skipping classes or anything.

but XY is, in fact, skipping school and Meng Shi covers for him saying he doesn’t feel well enough to go to class. she knows something’s up and she also understands the need to have days off in order to take care of yourself when everything goes to shit.

wangxian wedding happens and XXC is both happy and sad. they made him the official photographer of the day, which is both sweet and incredibly hurtful, because he’s the one taking all those beautiful pictures... and maybe he will never be able to look at them ever again after the surgery. WWX and LWJ already had to organize the wedding earlier than what they originally planned to accommodate XXC and the date of the surgery. XXC feels bad but he’s very happy for them.

YanLing and CanSe worry about him and they ask their mother to help them figure out what’s going on. BaoShan agrees with WWX that XXC had a fight with a friend, alright, but that cannot be all, surely...

it’s the week before XXC’s hospitalization and WWX takes the issue in his hands. logs in pretending to be XXC and plays until he takes XY’s place in the rankings of his and XXC’s favorite game.

XY receives notifications about it and initially fumes at the idea of being outranked, but then he understands what XXC is trying to do and doesn’t know how to react.

he does something horrible instead.

WWX waits to be contacted by this jiang_zai boy who broke XXC’s heart, but when it finally happens... it’s not the familiar, high-pitched voice he expects to hear in the chat. it’s a girl (A-Qing), who tells him her brother had died and that he won’t be playing games anymore. she sounds too serious to be joking and WWX tries to ask more about it... but she just tells him her brother killed himself before ending the call.

WWX doesn’t have the heart to tell this to XXC, not before the surgery and not until he has properly recovered (one year later).

XXC had wondered about XY in silence, not trusting himself to reveal all about his crush to his family, worrying about making the other boy uncomfortable. 

XXC misses XY, but he is patient. he can wait.

A-Qing had agreed to lie for XY only because he lied to her first: he told her a creep on the internet had tried to meet with him and he needed a way out; outraged, A-Qing had helped him without a second thought and answered the chat in his place. 

this spurs her to take more seriously what she and her siblings had been doing on the Internet and reconsiders some of the things she herself posted in the past. she will take this topic so much at heart that she will pursue an academic career to become a social worker.

XXC’s surgery goes well, but he still loses his sight after a while. WWX ends up telling him what happened to his online friend and XXC is so heartbroken he doesn’t even blame WWX for keeping the secret from him for so long. 

after some time BaoShan makes sure he goes to therapy and takes better care of him, helping him figure out what to do. she fears people will look down on XXC and, as a blind person, he will probably be hindered by the system to pursue a career, so she retires from her job at the museum and focuses all of her attention on him.

XXC feels guilty for XY’s passing, but he doesn’t think the other had been triggered to commit suicide bc of him: XXC simply fears XY had hid a different type of sorrow from him; a pain so deep that XXC had failed to see while they were playing silly games. so, three years after the surgery, when he’s 21, he enrolls in uni to study psychology to help kids who are struggling to ask for help.

15 years after XXC and XY had met online:

XY is 30 and a professional carer. he studied to become a nurse, of all things, after what happened. he got a lot of time to think about the horrible thing he had done to XXC and considered helpings others to atone for that.

he is the first to say such a choice was very out of character for him, and even if he has to bite his tongues at times he doesn’t mind his job: it keeps him occupied and exhausts him well enough... but after working in the hospital for 5 or so years he decides to become a carer and trains to help disabled people in particular in his late twenties.

A-Su (30) has become a chemical engineer and married a man working as a lawyer (who happens to be LXC), while A-Yao (31) ends up moving in with his best friend (NMJ). A-Qin (29) doesn’t find romance interesting enough to give up on her career as a social worker, so she doesn’t really move out of Meng Shi’s old flat and everyone is fine with that. A-Yu (27) has graduated from uni and travels the world as an interpreter. Meng Shi and SiSi have lived together since the first has adopted all the kids and they opened a B&B near the seaside. they are wives and very in love.

XY lives with A-Qing in Yunmeng until his late 20s and they fight a lot for stupid things (like when A-Qing makes fun of the boring people her brother hooks up with on the regular, or when XY tries to coerce her to do the fucking laundry by tickling her into a pulp of pain and tears), but otherwise they work well together.

A-Qing is working at the community center as a social worker to help the kids find purpose in life and use the internet safely. she still believes a creep had tried to mess with her brother and doesn’t want anything to happen to the kids under her care. XY knows this, but never got around to tell her the truth, believing it would have been pointless to reveal her how everything she knew had been a lie. even her own purpose on top of that.

A-Su’s husband (LXC) rarely got to speak with XY in person, the latter busy with his job as a nurse most of the time, but during a dinner party LXC has to suddenly leave because of an emergency: his brother-in-law had been brought to the hospital after a car crash and lost the use for both of his legs.

one year later, XY (29) coincidentally becomes WWX’s personal carer and decides to move closer to the man’s house in Yiling since it would be troublesome to help him as efficiently otherwise. XY does not recognize WWX (34) from his voice or name (he did play games with him in the past, sure, but he knew him as XXC’s nephew by the name of Wei WuXian, not Wei Ying, which is the name LWJ uses around him) and helps him around the house and out of it.

WWX’s husband (LWJ) is frequently out of the house to work as a lawyer like his older brother and entrusts WWX to XY, even if begrudgingly so. 

WWX pretends to be fine, but he has a tendency to try to sneak out and walk on crutches without anyone noticing, so LWJ has asked for a carer to come to their house every day. XY doesn’t have to bite his tongue as much around WWX, their interactions easy enough for the both of them to work together despite bickering about the stupidest things.

XY discovers WWX is friends with Wen Qing (37) (the same intern who helped the psychologist take care of XY and A-Qing while they sorted their shit out in the past). 

he meets her and learns from her how WWX’s family had moved in Yiling to help him recover after the crash. her brother Wen Ning is the physiotherapist helping WWX regain control of his legs, but there are basically no chances for him to go back to be a professional athlete even if he were to walk once more.

this new information spurs XY to force WWX to rest more and take his situation more seriously. they work together to find possible solutions and WWX decides that he would much rather have his legs cut off from the knee down that suffer through the pain of having multiple fractures splitting him apart day after day. the surgeons had done their best to save his legs, but the fractures had compromised his nerves maybe forever and the pain is now unbearable.

LWJ trusts his husband but he’s weary at the idea of having him evaluated for amputation. XY refuses to feel responsible for the tension in the house, since this is clearly what WWX wants. XY knows WWX is secretly considering running again on prosthetic legs in the future, but he doesn’t want to anger LWJ more by mentioning it. it’s too soon to know anyway, and who is he to tamper down what little hope WWX has managed to harbor for himself after an entire year drowning in grief?

one year later WWX (35) gets permission from his physician to get prosthetic legs fitted for his needs and he couldn’t be happier. his family visit him more frequently now to congratulate him, even his grandmother who has descended from the mountain where she retired to in order to celebrate him.

XY (30) has already met WWX’s parents and his oldest uncle, but he never suspected them to be related to XXC, because he had never knew them by name. 

yet, one day Song Lan (38) comes in with a huge backpack on his shoulders and recognizes XY immediately. XY doesn’t know why his old counselor is there: he knew WWX’s other uncle was coming over, but he never imagined it was SL they were talking about. 

SL is beaming at him, signing he met XY’s bother A-Yu during one of his travels as a tour guide and that they kept in touch. SL has come to know XY is the reason behind WWX’s recovery and he tells the younger man that everyone in their family is happy XY has appeared in their life.

XY doesn’t have time to answer, overwhelmed with this sense of belonging, this sense of being finally, finally accepted somewhere outside of his own family... that someone else enters the house with a backpack on his shoulders.

XY doesn’t know the man and SL enthusiastically guides him over to meet the newcomer. XY is surprised to hear SL speak out instead of using sign language as the older man asks “A-Chen” to come meet “his nephew’s savior”. based on the pronouns SL has just used, XY recognizes the newcomer to be WWX’s actual uncle and he smiles at the beautiful man in front of him...

...only to be filled with horror the minute the other speaks.

XXC (32) greets XY without knowing who he really is, smiling at him without even recognizing the younger man’s voice. the two of them had never seen each other, playing games only through chats and calls... but XY recognizes XXC immediately, aware that his own voice has changed drastically over the years.

XY is still transfixed and petrified when XXC asks him if it would be okay for him to touch his face to have a better idea of who he’s interacting with. XY doesn’t even register himself voicing his consent when he feels XXC’s hands on his face. only then he understands the infamous surgery had failed and that XXC did not regain his sight after his nephew’s wedding.

overwhelmed with grief, guilt and longing for what never was and never could be, XY is unaware of the tears rolling down his cheeks as XXC gently trails his features. XXC apologizes when he feels his palms dampening and he asks XY if he overstepped. next to them SL is distressed, not understanding what’s happening in front of him.

XY shakes his head and simply says... that he lost someone and that XXC reminded him of that person. then he excuses himself looking for WWX, to ask him to give him something... anything to do. he gets himself a task to accomplish and leaves the house brimming with relatives that he will never be able to call his own.

1 year later:

XXC and SL do not leave the city as they originally planned. they have travelled long enough for the time being and they decide to get a house close to WWX and his husband. they spend the following year after their return looking for stability and peace.

XY (31) didn’t stop working for WWX (36) and doesn’t plan to. not now that he got his new legs finally fitted. the recovery takes long, but it’s already been two years since the amputation now and WWX tries his best every day. he believes to be a handful and doesn’t dare ask for things he needs after receiving the prosthetics. XY is there to loudly remind him to stop being an idiot and that he is paying XY to boss him around however the fuck he wants. LWJ is very grateful to hear WWX laugh more and more these days thanks to XY.

XXC (33), however, is frequently around his nephew’s house, keeping him company. before his three-or-so years of traveling with his boyfriend SL, XXC has briefly worked as a psychologist with Wen Qing, of all people and the two of them have applied for a position at the community center in Yunmeng at the same time. there isn’t one available in Yiling and the commute shouldn’t be too bad. during that first year after his return, XXC has met A-Qing multiple times to inquire for a place at the center in Yunmeng and they are quickly becoming more involved with each other because of their shared passion for the job.

XY feels the end nearing, time ticking away. it had been an agonizing, brilliant, terrible year the one he had spent so close to XXC... and it is now coming to an end. knowing that A-Qing will eventually tell XXC how and why she became a social worker, spilling everything about how “her pitiful bastard of a brother had been molested by a pervert online” and so on. he only hopes A-Qing will never get to meet WWX... she would absolutely recognize the other man’s voice and accuse him of being the pervert in question and XY... XY will die.

XY feels trapped and he will most certainly have a stroke the moment XXC will realize that he lied to him, that he is still alive, that his reason to become a psychologist to help troubled kids was not a real thing... XY will die and Meng Shi will cry.

only because he lied about being 17 when he was 15 one day of 16 years ago.

XY disappears the same night XXC tells him he invited A-Qing over. SL (39) is overjoyed at the idea of meeting the girl once more after the time she and her step-siblings used to go to sign language classes at the community center in Yunmeng. WWX is interested as well, having heard all about A-Qing from XY along the years.

but XY disappears anyway.

2 years later:

it’s XuanYu (30) who finds him, but doesn’t ask him to go back home. A-Yu takes XY (33) with him in his travels for some months to hide him. he doesn’t ask him what he did in those two years, but he does force him to call Meng Shi and SiSi at least.

XY complies but still feels empty inside. the single year he had spent with XXC while the other visited WWX will be permanently engraved in his memories and he cannot stop thinking about it. about how gentle XXC had always been with him, how sad he had looked and sounded reminiscing an “old online friend who had died many years back”, how generous he had always been towards him and everyone and... and XY cannot do this anymore.

A-Yu may be younger than him, but he protects him well for those months... waiting for XY to tell him the truth. so one winters night finally XY does, starting from the beginning.

the following week, close to New Years, XY realizes A-Yu had betrayed him.

someone rings the bell of their shared apartment and A-Yu asks him to go open the door. XY does and it’s A-Qing (32) and WWX (38) who greet him with tears in their eyes. A-Qing tackles him on the ground and tries to hit him they way they used to do as kids, fists getting the point across faster than any word ever could, but WWX pries them apart and hugs them instead.

somehow, XY had not been notified of having acquired a new sibling, but WWX clearly considers him a brother of sorts and he had missed him greatly. A-Qing explains that A-Yu had sent her an email with XY’s version of the truth, sure... but she also tells him that she and WWX had solved the mystery soon after XY’s disappearance already, after talking extensively on the matter.

A-Qing had recognized WWX as the person she had talked to in chat all those years ago, that is true, but she also realized WWX was not, in fact, a bad person and that something didn’t add. when she understood who XY’s online friend actually was... she had felt sick to her stomach for having let someone as kind as XXC presume XY had killed himself bc of him.

hurt and confused, XXC’s family and even A-Qing’s one had initially blamed XY for the pain he had caused, the lot of them filled with anger and grief. especially BaoShan, who had felt guilty for not supervising and protecting her younger son better when he was still too naive to understand the ways of the world.

but then, seeing XY was not coming back, Meng Shi and SiSi insisted for XXC’s family to help them with the search instead. after two years the lot of them missed him. yes, even those who still berated him for his poor choices in life.

XXC now knows the truth and only wants XY to come back home.

some days later:

XXC opens the door after hearing the bell and he knows, he knows who the person in front of him is. he already had his suspicions back when he used to visit WWX every day two years back. WWX’s carer reminded him so much of his friend that... that he may have hoped.

but now XY is back and he has a name and a face and is alive and XXC greets him with a smile as the other hugs him and never lets go.

XY has never been happier in his entire, miserable life.

and XXC will never lose sight of him ever again.

the end.

[now imma go weep for fucking ages. also fuck typos.]