#I mean it’s not necessarily bad but come on

[mggslover]

spencer and readers first fight ! can you possiblyyyy do something along the lines of spencer said something sassy/petty/mean which results in reader giving spencer the silent treatment and he crashes out begging for her to speak to him 🤓☝🏼

your first fight with spencer genre: slight angst, fluff word count: 1,7k a/n: i've been so excited to write this one! honestly way too long for a drabble, but i hope you enjoy it

“That’s okay. Your mind wouldn’t be able to comprehend a concept like this."

Spencer didn’t understand the gravity of his words before you huffed out a sigh, placing your hands on your knees as you lifted yourself up from the spot next to him on the couch. His eyes followed your body as you walked straight toward your shared bedroom, opening the door before shutting it behind you with a bang. The click of the lock echoed through the now silent living room.

Spencer sat frozen in place, his gaze fixed on the door as if you’d magically reappear in front of him.

Everything about your body language hinted at you being angry, but he couldn’t grasp why. He replayed the situation back in his head in an effort to decipher the reason.

You had cheerfully greeted him when he entered the apartment. He’d been away on a case for several days, not having had the time to speak to you over the phone or give you any updates on how he was doing.

As much as he preferred keeping clear boundaries between his personal and professional life, Spencer couldn’t resist telling you the details of some of his cases when coming home. Not when the psychology behind the unsubs fascinated him so much. And especially not when you eagerly pulled him toward the couch, pushing him down onto the soft cushions as you handed him a cup of freshly brewed coffee, ready to hear about his day.

You sat cross-legged in front of him, eyes twinkling with admiration as he told you about today’s case. He explained how he discovered a pattern in the way the unsub took his captives, using the numbers 11235 — the first five numerals in the Fibonacci sequence.

He noticed the frown forming between your brows as he got into more detail.

“Can you explain that to me? I don’t get it,” you asked.

“That’s okay. Your mind wouldn’t be able to comprehend a concept like this.”

Spencer wasn’t lying. He remembered how his coworkers had blankly stared at him when he analyzed his theory — how Emily made eye contact with JJ, their silent looks saying there he goes again, and how Hotch had to cut him off to tell him to get to the point. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to explain it to you, he just didn’t see the point in doing so, not when he knew this was a connection only he could understand.

After a couple of minutes, there was still radio-silence. Spencer got up and walked to the bedroom, knocking softly on the door. “Angel? Can you open up for me?”

“Just go away, Spencer.”

Your voice cracked, like you had been crying, and the sound made his heart sink.

“Please open the door so we can talk. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong?” Your scoff vibrated through the door. “I don’t even want to talk to you if you can’t understand what’s wrong.”

Spencer swallowed hard, his hands turning clammy. He didn’t like confrontations and especially not with you. You’d never fought before. Rationally, he knew fights weren’t necessarily a bad thing — conflicts usually stemmed from deeper fears and feelings that get triggered, and confronting these feelings could lead to creating an even stronger bond. But right now, all he wanted was to turn back time and make sure those words never left his mouth.

His mind blanked in situations like these, so the only logical fix he could come up with was to call Derek.

“Hey,” Spencer spoke through the phone, balancing the device between his ear and shoulder as he nervously paced through the living room.

“Hey man. What’s up?”

“I messed up.”

Morgan’s chuckle sounded through the speaker. “Our genius making a mistake. Who would’ve thought the day would come?”

Spencer sighed, losing his patience. “It’s serious.”

Derek paused before responding. “Alright, slow down. Tell me what happened.”

Spencer repeated the conversation for what felt like the hundredth time that day, his guilt accumulating with each repetition. He gulped when he heard Derek take a sharp inhale at the other side of the line. He could almost see him shaking his head.

“Okay,” Derek began. “Now listen to me. When it comes down to it, all women are the same, they just need some loving and appreciation. Go buy her some flowers before the store closes.”

Spencer didn’t need to be told twice. He glanced one last time at the still-locked bedroom door before heading out.

Thankfully, Spencer’s apartment was close to downtown. He hurried into the first flower shop that he spotted, his eyes scanning the bouquets until they landed on a pair of bright colored lilies. The outer corners of the petals shone with a radiant shade of pink, fading into a soft white at the center.

He cleared his throat as he placed the flowers on the counter. “Can I have these, please?”

The woman behind the counter started wrapping them in pink paper, reaching out for lint to tie a bow. “Trouble in paradise?”

Spencer blinked, not often experiencing someone seeing right through him. Besides his coworkers. And you.

“Ya know, I see so many men come in here on the daily. You can just tell they got in trouble with their lady; sweating bullets and rushing to pick a bouquet the second before the store closes.” She twirled the bouquet in her hand as she pulled on the strings of the lint bow. “At least you picked a nice one.”

“Do-,” Spencer hesitated, his voice softening in an uncertain whisper. “Will she forgive me after this?”

“Depends on what ya did,” she answered with a lift of her shoulders. “What I can tell you is that flowers don’t do much fixing.”

Damn it, Derek.

The florist turned around, rummaging through a drawer, before pulling out an envelope and sliding it across the counter.

“Write,” she stated in a single syllable. “We need words. We need to know that you care, and we need you to put more effort into it than paying ten dollars.”

With a new plan in mind, Spencer hurried home. The apartment was still silent when he returned, the door firmly closed and no signs of you having left the bedroom. He sighed and made his way to his desk, shoving aside piles of books and papers until he had enough space to write. He opened the envelope the florist had given him, and carefully pulled out a sheet of blank stationary.

My Lover Dearest,

It is ironic that I have read so much poetry and so many books in my life, and yet I cannot find the words to describe how much you mean to me.

Sometimes, I find it difficult to believe that someone as wonderful as you would want to be with me. That I’m allowed to deserve the love that you give me.

My mind works in strange ways, and as much as you’ve praised me for it, it can work as a curse as well. I am scared to overwhelm you, to talk your ears off (which would be a shame, because you have beautiful ears) to the point that you grow tired of me.

I never had the intention to cause you pain, or to initiate that you’re any less brilliant than you are. You are the brightest part of my life. I feel grateful every time I get to talk to you, and I would love nothing more than to explain any concept you’d want me to. I’m sorry for not having understood that before.

I love you. I love you. I have been wanting to tell you this in a special way, please know that I am not just saying this to ask for your forgiveness. I love you.

Sincerely, Spencer

The clock chimed 03.00 a.m. by the time Spencer finished his letter. His hand ached and he could barely keep his eyes open as he stumbled to the bedroom door. He turned the handle, but it wouldn’t budge. With a resigned sigh he slid the letter under the door and sat down against it. It didn’t take long for exhaustion to overtake him.

The repeated knocking of the door against his back woke him.

“Spencer?”

Your voice sounded like a siren, and he instantly scrambled away from the door, allowing you to open it fully.

You stood there, holding the envelope in your hand as your eyes softened when you glanced over him, mouth forming a small oh. “What are you doing here?” you asked in worry.

“The door was locked,” he answered, voice still hoarse from sleep.

A curse escaped your lips as you pressed your hands against your face. “I am so sorry. I must have fallen asleep with the door still locked.”

Spencer’s lips lifted into a small smile, relieved that you hadn’t locked him out intentionally. “It’s okay. Orthopedists actually recommend sleeping on the floor from time to time. Sleeping on a hard surface encourages a more natural position for your spine, which can reduce back pain. It even strengthens certain muscles, so the pressure on your body evens out. As a matter of fact, anthropological studies have shown that-”

He stopped mid-ramble, blushing when he noticed the faint smile tugging on your lips.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I’ll stop,”

“Don’t you ever stop,” you replied as you lowered yourself on the ground next to him. You reached for his hands, placing them into your lap.

Spencer’s blush deepened, and he struggled to suppress a grin. Your encouragement reassured him, and he went on about groups in Japan and Tanzania who experience significantly lower rates of back pain due to their minimal use of furniture.

“Spencer,” you gently interrupted after a while.

He blinked at you, seeing the gleam in your eyes as you adoringly stared at him. “Hm?”

“I love you too.”

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I am not EVERY autistic person so this probably won't be a total coverage approach, but here's what I have learned:

People like to feel that you pay attention to and remember little but important things about them. And when someone is "small-talking" with you, it is often because they either want to offer you some of that info about themselves, or they want to pearn it about you so they can "return the effort". I think of it a bit like call and response with my cats! They don't understand me, and I don't understand them, but when I walk into the kitchen each morning, Lup runs towards me excitedly making her tiny little squeaks and trills. That's kitty small-talk! Many words of all varieties just say "I love you! I missed you! I'm happy to be here with you today!"

So I answer her! Sometimes I mimic her little sounds, and other times I pretend we're gossiping like church ladies (*gasp* NO, you're KIDDING, he said THAT?? What a scandal!") But whichever I do Lup gets excited and continues her little "conversation" with me.

People are harder. I had to really take time and practice different ways of responding before I found appropriate "call and response" for small talk, but I found that there are genuinely more options than you'd think. And the same thing happened! As I learned how to "call and respond" to small talk, I found that people would excitedly approach me to have it, and gradually we got to know each other enough that the "calls" coming from both sides got less general, more tailored to our personal preferences and interests, and I didn't have to small talk as much (but when I did it wasn't as scary either)

This isn't just my personal theory either! A fair amount of research in interpersonal/social in-group dynamics suggests that "bids for attention" like small talk function in this way of call-and-response intimacy/connection building. I have found that a LOT of social etiquette gets less scary to navigate when I at least understand the function of it. It also gave me some understsnding of why people might be hurt when I visibly don't WANT to "respond" to a "call" they've made: I'm the same way about my "calls" I just use different ones! The way I feel when I ask someone "would you want to hang out with me in the kitchen while I make lunch?" (Sad, a little anxious or vulnerable, maybe hurt if they've said no to a LOT of recent calls, etc) is the same way others feel when I decline theirs! That doesn't change if it was MISSED rather than DECLINED, but it can be repaired! Ao another thing I've taken to doing is naming for people the calls I have learned I'm most likely to miss. I know I have a hard time understanding/recognizing small talk as a call to attention, so I let people know that! And generally the people I connect best with are the ones who notice I missed a call and offer me an explicit/direct opportunity to reject it before internalizing what I've done as a rejection. This isn't really an option for everyone! And while I'm always delighted when someone is compatible with me in that way, I don't get upset if they're not, and work to not take it personally as something I'm doing wrong either.

Anyway, this got rambly at the end there, but the point is, most social interactions have a FUNCTION and while being autistic frequently means that we struggle to learn and interact in these systems as they currently exist, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we don't also depend on those functions. I think it can be easy to forget that part of the "disabling" effects of social/communication symptoms in autism is how it cuts us off from systems of support, care, and human interconectedness (things we still NEED) and it can matter to our quality of life to be able to find compatible alternatives to fulfilling those functions even if the original mechanism (small talk in this case) doesn't suit us.

Being bad at small talk doesn't mean you don't need friends, but it will probably make it very hard to MAKE friends. And we each and all deserve to decide for ourselves what to do about that.

I'm trying to figure out a good way to say "you really should actually learn the basics of small talk" with sounding like I'm biased against autistic people.

[whateveriwant]

Annoying Things the 141 Do

Price

Never cleans the sink well after he shaves. Every time you go in the bathroom after he’s trimmed his beard, it’s like walking into a crime scene of a hamster massacre

Always manages to load the dishwasher wrong (because, yes, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it, John)

Asks you to wait for him to get home so you can watch your shows together, but then as soon as you start the first episode, he falls asleep beside you

Smokes his cigars inside sometimes. I don’t care that you sprayed air freshener afterwards, sir. Now the whole house smells like spring meadow and shit!

Is incapable of closing the door behind himself?? At least, that appears to be the case since he’s always leaving your door wide open even though you ask him to shut it when he goes

Doesn’t like throwing things out because he’ll “find a use for it one day”. Even if that day ever does come, I think he has a better chance of finding Atlantis than finding that scrap piece of wood he saved four years ago

Ghost

Turns the TV on and then just… walks away??? And if you try to change it to something else, he grumbles “I was watchin’ tha’” when he comes back

Drinks milk/juice/etc. straight out of the carton. Mr Simon “Patient Zero” Riley might not see the problem with this, but I think the rest of us would agree that is diabolical behavior

Leaves his wet towel on the floor after he showers even though the towel rack is right? there?

Hates asking for help even when he has no clue what he’s doing. Like, sure, I get wanting to fix things yourself. However, I’d rather spend $100 on a simple repair than $1000 on a full replacement after he breaks the thing even more

Puts his phone calls on speaker whenever possible. While this can have its merits sometimes (you get firsthand news of Gaz’s engagement!), most of the time it feels like a nuisance (do you really need to hear Soap talk about his hemorrhoids?)

MANSPREADERRRR! This man cannot sit like a civilized being to save his life. He claims he sits like that because his balls need to breathe, and to that I say good luck trying to breathe after I karate chop you in the throat :))))

Soap

Cuts his toenails in bed, which wouldn’t necessarily be an issue if he didn’t accidentally leave one or two rogue clippings that stab you in the side later when you’re trying to get comfortable

Forgets to put the toilet seat down when he gets up in the middle of the night to pee – that or he pisses all over the seat in the dark. Either way, prepare to have wet cheeks the next time you sit on the toilet

Whenever he doesn’t feel like doing the laundry, he just buys a new set of whatever’s dirty (that’s how he ended up with 100 pairs of socks and 200 pairs of underwear)

Talks nonstop through every show/movie you try to watch. Good luck getting more than five minutes of uninterrupted runtime next to this yapper

Apparently, doesn’t understand what “one bite” means? Whenever he asks you for a bite of your food, he always ends up taking five or six

Also, apparently doesn’t know how to chew with his mouth closed? Like, I’m glad you’re enjoying your meal, Johnny, but can you enjoy it without speckling it all over the table and my face?

Gaz

Two words: bathroom hog. I hope you don’t like taking hot showers or having more than a 6x6 inch square of counter space for your stuff, because after Kyle’s done with his 30-step beauty routine, there’s little of either left

Never knows what he wants to eat for dinner, and no matter what you suggest, he never thinks it sounds good

Has the gall to chastise you for your screen time even though he’s just as bad as you, if not worse (because you being on your phone before bed is so much worse than him playing video games for nine hours straight, right?)

Rests his feet on the couch/bed/coffee table while wearing shoes. It doesn’t matter if they’re brand new or beaten up; take your damn shoes off the furniture, sir!

Never writes down the shopping list because he’ll “remember everything”. (Newsflash: he does not remember everything, which means cue taking a second trip to the store)

Watches one documentary and thinks he’s an expert on the subject. You can have studied a thing for years, can present him with a bunch of rock solid facts and reputable sources, and he’ll hit you with a “Well, actually ☝️🤓” and then proceed to give the most nonsensical take ever

[ameliathornromance]

The Other Woman - Final Part

A/N: Here’s part three! I know you guys wanted to know what happened to the Guard’s wife so here it is; This will also be the last part I do for this series as I’ve got a ton of other ideas and I’d like to work on those as well. Anyway, enjoy the last part!

------------------

Since you’d left the Palace in the Human populated area, time went by in a whirlwind.

Your wedding with the Lord had happened quickly after leaving and was one of the prettiest events the whole forest – and some humans – had ever seen.

The Fae Lord had been delighted to invite and meet the rest of your family. He and your father seemed to get along swimmingly already, and greeted each other like they were old friends when your families carriage arrived in the forest.

Later that evening, after catching up with your family and entertaining them the whole day, you had asked the Fae Lord something that had been on your mind for the day, “how and when did you meet my father?”

It had evaded you how he had asked your father for your hand, and it hadn’t occurred to you to ask your Fiance until today.

The Fae Lord gave his signature grin as he raised a tea cup to his lips, “I actually met him the night I said I wanted to help you.” He explained, “your father was in a pub and I had snuck out to go and do some late night drinking. He was there and we just hit it off.” The Lord set his cup down on its saucer and frowned. “Although, it wasn’t until the next morning that I actually found out he was your father, and then had to work on my image before I asked him for your hand.”

You snorted, “yeah something tells me he wouldn’t have been happy about a drunken Fae asking for my hand in marriage after you’d been out with him the previous night.”

Soon, your wares and personal items began to arrive from the Palace and amongst them, were all the presents that the King’s Guard had gifted you. They had been thrown into one of your many jewellery boxes, the necklaces tangled together with the many bracelets that the Orc had gifted you.

They felt dirty, wrong to even look at now, felt tarnished and rusted with sin as you ran your thumb over the smooth gold.

Of course, you wouldn’t dream of wearing them, but you also couldn’t stand to just throw them away. Many other people who were less fortunate than you could benefit from the money that these items cost… but the thought of giving the people evidence of adultery filled you with dread, made your stomach churn with anxiety.

You explained your complicated feelings to your fiance one morning at breakfast.

He listened intently, before suggesting, “why don’t you send them to King’s Guards’ wife?”

Your blood turned cold at the thought. “Isn’t that a bit… callous?” You asked. “For her I mean. She’s probably had the baby now, and isn’t in much of a situation to leave him if she wanted… That and then everyone would know what happened between me and her husband.”

“Not necessarily.” Your fiance said, raising a finger. He leaned his elbows on the breakfast table and pointed at you, “it doesn’t have to be done in bad taste. If you send her the jewellery and offer her a position here, with better pay and better accommodation, she may just come here and decide to work for us.”

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[draculasstrawhat]

While we’ve tenuously made our peace with redemption arcs in fiction, as a society we are really, deeply uncomfortable with the idea that people can change. It’s part of the framing of people who do bad stuff as “inhuman monsters”, but it goes deeper. Not only is someone who does awful things bad, they must always have been bad, and will always be bad.

And it’s not true.

People change. Your mum, your best friend from pre-school, your high school bully, that celebrity you love, they contain the capacity for change, both for the better and the worse.

As do you.

There is no such thing as original sin. No one is predestined to evil, nor to goodness. Sure, some people have a better chance at turning out “okay”, but that is due to no innate virtue.

Our social circumstances, our expectations, our experiences, all shape the person you become, from before you even know where your hands are. Of course, as you grow older, you have choices - and will hopefully make the right ones - but the self is not static. Remaining a certain sort of person in the face of external pressures will be a daily choice (and sometimes a battle.) Especially as various organisations and ideologies deliberately and specifically seek to radicalise people for their own ends, through gradual “reasonable”‘change.

What’s more, outside of fiction, human “arcs” are not contained in to “starts good, gets bad,” or “starts bad, redeems self.” People contain multitudes, and change often comes in phases, or in inconstant ways. I love fiction, but it tidies up messy human complexities, and in doing so, tells us comforting lies.

None of this excuses bad behaviour, or hurting people.

But the tendency to see someone who has done bad as a monster, as someone who has always done wrong (and - if you didn’t spot it - was always cunningly concealing it), and was always predestined to do wrong, spares you the obligation of reflecting on your own behaviours, your own biases, and the ways in which you might be led to hurt, deceive, and dehumanise others.

People sleepwalk in to evil and characterising evil as a static and innate trait is akin hitting the damn snooze button on your own moral alarm clock.

If your high school best friend grows up to be a murderer as an adult, it doesn’t necessarily mean they were secretly evil all along and you “should have seen” they were a murderer-in-waiting. It means their circumstances and choices of their lives between then and now changed them from the nice kid they used to be, into something terrible.

Just as, if your high school bully grows up to run a grassroots charity and be keystone of their local community, it doesn’t mean they’re faking it - it means something happened to stop them being an arsehole. It doesn’t undo the harm they did to you then, but the harm they did then doesn’t negate the good they do now.

People change! For better, for worse, in directions they never guessed. And you might too.

That’s the key bit here: you might change too.

[suicidal-socialist]

Blaming individual people is often, though not always, reasonable in actually individual matters they have (almost) total control of, e.g. my decision to go for "just one more YT video" last night - there was no external force influencing my decision in any way, besides the character of the options, which is necessarily a given.

Even then, there's an argument to be made about general alienation and the inevitable longing for some sort of meaning and joy, or at least fun and distraction. But the influence of this factor is one of a general background character, a weak though constant one, thus pretty manageable, unless one tries to find happiness, to go beyond the reasonable life expectation of a fair dose apathy and calm boredom, which would be the silliest of endeavors indeed

However, when there is definitely an influence from the side, which one must fight against, the blame properly lies on them both in proportion to their relative strengths. The strength of the individual in this struggle being the more easily and reasonably changeable compotent, an influence on their will - indifferently of the degree of ontological freedom one attributes to it - is appropriate for there is oftentimes no possible alternative solution, and only in some of these cases it is a reasonable one

This is the case of one or few individuals, which can simultaneously be influenced, in one way or another, by your call to action. Only such a factor that can simultaneously affect the whole or a large part of the group, whose action is being examined, is to be taken seriously. Such factors come from structured institutions, general situations (e.g. a war or a general jump of prices) and the public, social media propaganda and such belonging to the last type, being but one of many. Moreover, in this situation it is one against the many, including even itself - for the support of the Dems was by no means unanimous, with a fair deal of direct opposition.

To blame the people in this case is pointless, as it would imply the addressing to them with a demand of a *simultaneous* burst of will, sufficient to tip the scales against so many factors, without any factor that could realistically cause such an exatlation. It would be akin to a daily complaint that the day before they didn't rise up against the ruling class and was it away with a glorious wave of revolution - it would be demanding not necessarily the impossible, but definitely the unreasonable

But blaming the institutions - or at least not immediately scapegoating the people with no further analysis - allows us a more workable picture than "the people are bad and did a bad thing", at least a more proper understanding of the matter at hand

It fails to give a singular correct, simple and definitive plan of action, while the other one demands only complaining, but it does give at least the material for an actually worthwhile one

I know not why I took the time to type this stretched-out passage, I only know that this question didn't visit me before the halfway point, at which abandoning it would seem like a waste of... something

Gotta admit the headline is a banger.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.

[sysig]

Growing closer than expected (Patreon)

[kstarlitchaotics]

I think the problem with me with Jean Grey is that she always in some way screws so much with Scott I know it's an horrible comparison but the MCU is one of those times I cannot fully say about the comics since I'm still new but not just the movies there were times with the animation if I recall that she would even though be with Scott but her heart is conflicted by Logan and the fact that she kind of egged Logan on about it where with from with the whole Rouge Magneto & Remy even though Remy wanted Rouge he backed away and stood far for allowing Rouge for what she wanted to do in order to get what she always wanted cause no one else has Remy cared for someone so much as Rouge he WANTS her to be happy to where with Jean trying to explain she kind of purposely mess with Logan even though she is in love with Scott and majority does but she still has an opening for Logan once in a while and though I do and don't like Jean this is the thing I cannot stand seeing of her messing with other people feelings especially when she knows that Logan does care about her and yet she always goes back to Scott 🤨

[klysanderelias]

Also like, a lot of those contradictions about whose reproduction is valuable is incredibly mutable and often in complete agreement at the end goal - the white supremacist ideal of an ethnostate doesn't necessarily mean that all other types of people are wiped out, but that they're controlled and funneled. In the example of stripping welfare policies to harm black families, it's not in an effort to reduce the black population, it's in an effort to reduce them to a lower class and deny them any options other than to be exploited.

Basically speaking, there's always a lot of rhetoric about deportations and closing borders, but the US runs - maybe even thrives - on foreign immigrants being put to work in the worst possible conditions. Draconic immigration laws and deportations serve as means of control first and foremost - you can't unionize or report your employer to OSHA or other protective agencies if doing so would expose you and your friends and family to retributive harm. Meat packing, farming, etc, are all jobs that purposefully employ and exploit immigrants specifically because they're dangerous and cutting corners often leads to catastrophic results, and you need SOME kind of outgroup that is unable to find better work in order to keep produce and meat cheap for the ingroup.

And when it comes to valuing having children, the contradictions are clear as day (and easily resolved) by looking at things like the Quiverfull movement vs nonwhite families with a similar number of children - hell, even white families that are lower class, labeled hillbillies, white trash, etc. The idea is both that the preferred type of person should 'spread their genes' but also that preferred type of person is always rich and always, crucially, a minority of the population. Whiteness in specific has always been subject to redesign, for example Italians and Irish immigrants.

And at the end of the day, the end goal is to create a small group of Good people who are served and in return exploit all the other Bad people, who have to be numerous enough to be thrown into the meat grinder of capitalism but not numerous enough (or they have to be divided enough) to be a threat. There are certain groups (like LGBTQ, communist, etc demographics) that present an existential threat to the ideological framework, and so must be eradicated, but also they still serve a use as boogeymen and acceptable targets to direct and manipulate people.

But again I think a lot of the rhetoric around reproduction, and who should and should not reproduce, is just masking the bigger idea that a lot of people don't necessarily recognize, and that other people won't admit to. There's a reason why the Trump administration is both talking about an immigrant crisis and the need to close borders while at the same time pushing the increase of things like h1b visas - because they're both methods of control. Criminalizing immigration isn't meant to stop immigration, it's meant to provide a steady stream of disposable labor. H1B visas are difficult to get, hard to turn into long-term citizenship, and reliant on your employer, so they're great tools to get skilled indentured laborers that can't speak up about any discrimination or harmful work practices, because otherwise they'll get fired and then deported.

Which is to say, "that economic consideration is what creates both the natalist policy meant to encourage [some people's] reproduction, and the exterminatory policy meant to suppress and eradicate [other people's] reproduction" except also that those policies and social ideas are constantly in motion to constantly redefine who fits what category, because on some level even fascist ethnostates require a sizable population of everyone other than their preferred demographic - they just need to be socially, legally, etc disenfranchised so as to remain lower class and subservient. A homophobic Karen at the grocery store is perfectly happy to have a lesbian employee serve her, as long as she's allowed to express her power over that employee with no consequences.

I love your takes, but I feel super, super lost with what you were trying to say about the natalism one. I feel like you're saying that there is no contradiction on wanting more babies, a higher population number and punishing mothers, but can you elaborate on that a bit more, because it does seems contradictory. I'm not disagreeing with you, I just want to understand it better.

alright there's a perennial debate (on here but also in a wider cultural sense) that goes on where people start noticing that some of the ways in which we socially and economically de/value children, parenthood, and specifically motherhood are internally contradictory. how can it be that there is immense social and economic pressure to heterosexually partner and reproduce, and yet most public and social infrastructure is also profoundly hostile to children and their guardians? why is it that this person couldn't find a doctor to perform a voluntary hysterectomy because their bodily preferences were subordinated to the medical valorisation of their fertility, and yet this other person was forcibly sterilised or coerced into using contraception because the prospect of them reproducing is framed as socially destabilising and degenerative? how are 'family values' touted by politicians who openly and explicitly also hate real existing families? do they want people to have more children or fewer? is it more counterculture and rebellious to have children or to not have children? to have sex or to not have sex? to partner off? to be polyam or monogamous?

the answer broadly speaking is that the oppositions people see here are only surface-level. the bourgeois state's interest is in biopower, and this produces competing demands: for some people to partner off and reproduce, and for others to be exterminated. the valorisation of the white middle-class nuclear family is the same as the devalorisation of its negations: racialised people, disabled people, family arrangements other than nuclear and heterosexual, etc. you can't understand the demand that people reproduce if you don't understand it is necessarily also accompanied by the demand that other people don't. these aren't actually contradictory once you understand that what the bourgeois state wants has nothing to do with your individual behaviours and everything to do with how many 'desirable' bodies it has at its disposal. that economic consideration is what creates both the natalist policy meant to encourage [some people's] reproduction, and the exterminatory policy meant to suppress and eradicate [other people's] reproduction.

usually this kind of conversation very quickly devolves into a privilege framework argument, where people are trying to find some kind of social hierarchy that is hegemonically applied top-down and that rewards, universally, certain behaviour choices over others. again, the "people who marry and reproduce are privileged and socially rewarded over me #childfree" versus "actually some people still have to fight tooth and nail to even get medical support / approval to have children, let alone actually get access to the kind of economic and social support necessary to raise them" debate. it's smoke and mirrors because there is no universal privileging of the choice to have children or not have children. what there is, is a privileging of certain people on the basis of the economic assessment of them as biological assets, and the inverse (and mutually constitutive) devaluations of everyone else. really over-discussed examples here but to give them anyway: this is why, for example, french natalist policy and the USA's constant efforts to strip back welfare-net policies in order to harm (primarily) black families are both arising from the same basic impulses of two imperialist nation-states. obviously there are different histories and contextual factors that have resulted in france and the US trying to skin the same cat in different ways. but what they share is an underlying interest in trying to shore up their population in both size and 'fitness', understood here in its full racialised and eugenic meaning.

[sonicranger1]

Can't believe i'm forced to say this again but alas- (<- No one is forcing me to do this)

BESTIES! ERROR AND NIGHTMARE AREN'T CANON TO INK! DREAM IS NOT CANON TO INK!

The only one that could possibly be canon to Ink is Swap if we take into consideration the canceled comic Comyet did a long while back! And the art Comyet has done with Ink and Error I'm 99% sure is just a what-if, not canon interpretation on how they think they possibly would interact together

Everytime I see someone with their full chest exclaim how the dream twins or Error are canon to ink I internally die inside I'm sorry

[kaeyaswifefromsnezhnaya]

So, finally, what does that post have to do with it.

There is a theory that Akane's recruitment by the watch guardians left its mark on his psyche. He was so scared of Aoi's death threat as a child that he became fixated on her for life. Just like Tsukasa became fixated on Amane after he found out he was going to die. It shifted something in their heads. It was the day Akane confessed her love to Aoi, and that became his obsession, just like Tsukasa's obsession with "learning more about Amane" became, because he was thinking about it at the same time Akane was thinking about falling in love. He became afraid of losing Aoi again, he needed to provide for her well-being, and for that, she needed to be under his complete control. He can no longer let her go. So he began confessing to her every day in the hopes of getting Aoi completely. He doesn't realize that being close to her and caring for her doesn't necessarily mean marriage, but since he was already in love with her, these thoughts overlapped. That's why he's so bad at being her friend, he's forgotten how to do it. He is so fixated on the disturbing idea of taking care of Aoi and not letting her go that he himself has long believed it. Because his problem on the shore is more than not letting Aoi go and die, he could have just talked to her about it, he could have just dragged her home even by force, but he brought the conversation specifically to love, to his feelings, he tried again to achieve reciprocity from Aoi, although this is not the most appropriate moment, if you think about it. Aoi is his obsession, Aoi is always in his head, and he only needs physical Aoi nearby so that he can close his trauma. That's why I said that he was really mad at her when he told her about her traits because he was tired of himself, he was tired of being held hostage by his obsession with Aoi, who was so withdrawn and didn't want to get closer to him, which would make his job easier. Akane also always kept any criticism of Aoi to himself, always mentally correcting himself that everything was fine, even when he didn't like Aoi's behavior. He literally never expressed dissatisfaction with her, let alone disagreement with her actions. He is so obsessed that he probably didn't even argue with Aoi about strawberry ice cream or chocolate, because if Aoi liked strawberries, he would definitely agree with her, even if he liked chocolate. He never went against her opinion, so when he finally snapped, he said everything, cruelly and directly, because it was a relief for him. And Aoi clearly doesn't understand what's going on. Akane has her own life in her head that she doesn't know about. Why did he distance himself from her? What is he hiding from her? Why did he start wearing glasses, why did he suddenly start confessing to her more and more often? Why did her good childhood friend, who was relatively calm when he was in love, suddenly get so carried away? She literally doesn't know or understand anything, she's scared, she can't discuss it with anyone (because she's so closed 🙄 of course), and then it suddenly turns out that Akane hates so many things about her - and then he comes back to her, convincing her that it's okay, he still loves her. Aoi doesn't even have anything to say to that. Not only because she's incredibly closed (as much as Akane is her fanatic, a hyperbolic trait twisted to the extreme), but also because she's simply at a loss. I feel sorry for her and not sorry at the same time.

The way Akane stopped questioning Aoi's behavior in the shinigami arc and just started acting.

For Akane to discuss the problem with words through his mouth? Yeah, lol, not far removed from the Aoi he condemns, he's also a big inventor, he's also stuck in his own theory and sees confirmation of it in everything. He doesn't need to find out Aoi's reasons and get to know her better, he consoles himself with the fact that he knows her better than others, he quickly drained the conversation about "what the hell is going on, Aoi, why are you doing this, I'm worried about you" to stupidly keep Aoi to himself. And what's wrong with that, it would seem that not wanting to let Aoi die is normal, but it's just _how_ he did it.

I believe in Akane's trauma now more than in anything else. He needs Aoi to support the trauma, so why talk to her normally? He needs to stupidly get her, so that she would be in his field of vision, in his complete control, that's why he was trying to get her every day. That's why he thinks that they simply need to become a romantic couple, and not just be together as friends, Akane needs to get whole Aoi completely.

But as soon as she suddenly moved away from him more than a hundred meters - he got stuck, he didn't even want to figure it out, Aoi shouldn't leave him. So he grabbed her, said all sorts of things out of anger, because he was tired of himself, tired of watching her, pretending that everything was fine, all his emotions were directed at her, she could really start to irritate him. And he finally pushed her to be his.

Aoi doesn't need to answer Akane that she likes him, he will convince himself of this, the danger has passed, Aoi will not leave him anywhere, and the rest is unimportant. "The Aoi in your head", Teru is right here lol, Akane is the only one playing this game, he literally doesn't need the real Aoi for this, he doesn't need to ask her opinion, he will make it up himself, Aoi is enough to just lie like a doll in his arms. Aoi wanted to leave and so he snapped, didn't let her, but what happened between them won't help them at all, Akane is still feeding this unhealthy need to control Aoi's well-being, Aoi doesn't understand what's going on. I feel sorry for Aoi the most here. As if she is some kind of evil temptress, or a masochist with a crush on her yandere friend, she is maximally intimidated by other people's behavior and confused.

Just as Kou must learn to live and let go of the dead, so Akane must learn to live apart from Aoi. It's a painful topic, he is not ready to let it go, but he should. But instead of moving towards healthy separation, we have 69 with gaslighting (Akane gaslights both Aoi and himself lol). Instead of some therapy, he only feeds his anxiety and the opinion that without it the world will collapse 😭 but wow, it's romantic

[superbellsubways]

people taking interest in my ocs makes me Smile big and wide ive always been more of a fan artist during my time on social media but lately ive been having more fun focusing on my original stuff im glad to see even a few people like it 😭

[sammygender]

so many people can’t conceptualise emotional neglect as anything other than ‘my parents were cold and distant and never talked about feelings with me’, and this, while being just a general awful problem of course, is also what leads to so much john winchester mischaracterisation. in this essay i will

[vonclosen]

vent. sorry i’m honesty hangry and upset

actually i’m still annoyed. has anyone in this damn fandom heard of filtering tags. for shit. they don’t like

also like not to be ‘what about’ but seriously if your biggest problems are fucking shipping wars on tumblr dot com i envy you. truly.

[rickybaby]

What is going awn at the House of Red Bull??