#I mean in my original project it’s still in the early phases and I still know that the main character is

[thygoddessouijathicc]

People who don’t have OCs/characters they really like in fandoms must think we just love our characters and never let bad things happen to them. For all those who think any form of writer or artist is a merciful being you are dead wrong, especially when it comes to fandoms and OCs.

We treat characters with absolute sadism. Having a nice day? Too bad your mom died! Aww a cute baby! Now it’s in the oven! You have a normal life? How about a dash of life changing trauma to spice things up!

Creative people are the most sadistic group on the planet, y’all are just lucky we take out all our murderous rage on fictional characters, because if somehow we collectively decide to destroy the world or something your ass is grass.

We both want our favourite characters to be happy and want to burn them alive for the heck of it. We are beings of pure contradiction.

For one final reminder, don’t get exited for the happily ever after until the credits roll and no sequel is announced.

[mllemaenad]

Wait, I'm confused - if the Institute succeeded in the goal of the original FEV trials by creating synths, why on earth are they still doing FEV experiments right up until Dr Virgil leaves?

I mean, you're not any more confused than the people doing the research. The terminal entries all contain complaints about how pointless this is. :)

But okay. What's actually going on there? Two things, I think.

First off: just because you've successfully completed a project doesn't mean it's done forever. They first rolled out power armour in 2067, but people keep making new kinds of power armour (I wish they'd stop. I hate power armour. But they do.). Research and development on synths is still ongoing – it's just handled by the Robotics department. They're likely still using FEV, but it's just one tool in their kit, rather than the focus of their work.

Nothing new. Always the same. Have entered formal complaint with Directorate; these tests are not bringing in any valuable information. The organics project was spun off decades ago. Why do we insist on continuing this? – Virgil's notes, Progress Reports, Fallout 4

So why are they doing anything with it? Well, I think the first clue comes from the entry from Virgil's predecessor, Syverson:

Latest round of testing complete. Results are all within expected parameters. Informed Dr. Zimmer directly, as he had ordered the tests personally. He seemed annoyed with the results; unsure what he was looking for. He declined to specify why he wanted the tests run to begin with. – Syverson's notes, Progress Reports, Fallout 4

We know Zimmer. He was the head of the Synth Retention Bureau. More importantly, he's a character from Fallout 3. Zimmer was part of the quest The Replicated Man, and was specifically in the Capital Wasteland hunting down an escaped courser: A3-21, now going by Harkness. And Harkness is apparently a unique prototype:

This particular android… Designation A3-21, is… different. Special. The most advanced synthetic humanoid I've ever developed. The others, like my escort Armitage there, are all older models. Easily replicated. Ah, but A3-21… it would take years to recreate him! So you see, this android MUST be located. At all costs. The others are all… acceptable losses. But A3-21, he is… irreplaceable. – Dr Zimmer's dialogue, Fallout 3

Zimmer ordered a round of FEV tests, apparently shortly before taking off to Rivet City to attempt to recapture Harkness. What were they for? Well, we can't know exactly, which is kind of the point. FEV research at the Institute has been thoroughly sidelined in favour of "the organics project" so these people are being treated as lackeys and very much left out of the loop. This is at minimum a Robotics project, and may even be some courser-specific SRB-only thing.

We can make some guesses, though.

One possibility is that they were being used as an early phase of testing. Synths in general are valuable: the Institute aims to recapture any gen-3 synth who escapes. A courser would be more valuable still. And Harkness is apparently unique.

We do know that the Institute uses synths for medical testing, but there have to be some rational degrees of risk. Kill a synth, and you will need to use resources to replace them. Kill a kidnapped wastelander and ... well, from the Institute's point of view that's no great loss. If this was a project aimed at improving their more expensive synths (the coursers) then there would be a strong argument for limiting their risk.

This could have been a strain of FEV modified to do something in particular, and they were dosing wastelanders with it first to see if it was lethal or not before they tried it out on a synth.

If this is the case, Zimmer clearly did not get the results he wanted out of the test.

Another possibility is that they were a control group. This was just a normal round of FEV testing, and it's meant to be contrasted with some other thing Zimmer is doing. Again, he clearly didn't get the results he wanted from the tests – but we can't know exactly what he was doing, beyond the fact that he seemed to be working to enhance courser ability and had created at least one prototype.

So, yes, I think that's part of it. The FEV department was being used as a secondary lab for the now more valuable Robotics department, but they largely had no idea what they're doing or where their work fit into the larger picture. This would, yes, be terribly unsatisfying work to be involved in.

But they clearly continued doing these tests even after Zimmer's disappearance, and we don't have strong evidence for SRB involvement once he was gone. So that's the second thing. Because, well, making super mutants was sort of an end in itself, wasn't it?

One of the Institute's major strategies is keeping the Commonwealth in a permanent state of disarray so they can't unite against them. The Sole Survivor eventually pulls at least one faction together enough to do just that – and unless you sell out to them, they go boom.

They use synths for specialist work: Gen-3s to go in and replace wastelanders in order to either spy or run experiments; Gen-1 and Gen-2s to harrass, or to retrieve specific tech, like at University Point. But if you don't have a specific mission in mind and just want to give everyone a very bad day ... well, super mutants are great for that. Low cost to the Institute, because they already have the FEV and kidnapping does not seem to be difficult for them. Maximum grief and chaos for the people on the surface.

And yes, this too would be deeply unsatisfying work. Even setting aside how morally abhorrent all of this, you're not even doing science anymore. You're just in manufacturing. Collect human; dip human; release super mutant. That's got to be an exercise in misery.

But that's exactly how this played out, didn't it? Virgil rebelled after failing to get the project shut down any normal way, and the whole thing was shuttered.

So I do think "confusion" is a reasonable response to the Institute's continued FEV research – but I do think they were doing something with it.

[ms-scarletwings]

Media Musin’ Monday, #7:

Screw You, Nickalodeon: Making Fiends Deserved Better

I have no idea how anyone could seriously believe that the entertainment industrial complex™ even tries anymore to hold the illusion of a just or meritocratic realm. No holds barred, I have my issues with about every company still clinging like barnacles to the tragic, sinking ship that cable TV has become, but if you want me to point to a network that’s given me an entire skeleton of bones to pick by this point, and I’m underlining Nickelodeon in red at the top of my list.

It’s not because they host some bad shows, no. It’s not a sour grapes reaction to the untimely end of some of my favorite shows either, and though the entire rotten apple situation with creators like Dan Schneider and Butch Hartman certainly added to barrel’s spoilage, I would still feel every bit of my disdain for Nick’s tv group for the one cardinal sin they have committed again and again and again to ad nauseum- their ongoing phase of running a talent slaughterhouse.

It sounds hyperbolic, but I’d call it a fair observation: Spongebob is widely aknowledged as legitimately both the best and the worst thing to happen to this corner of kid’s media, hands down, but I don’t blame the little yellow guy one bit. He’s only another victim to the mess, and as much as I would love to go on a whole dossier spiel of the history of Nickalodeon from the 90s “golden age” to a full list of the dozens of shows and creators their execs have royally fucked over in the name of chasing the ratings dragon… for one, that’s been done a hundred times by other people at this point, and much better than I could. For two, that would take all freaking day. Just off the top of any cartoon savvy person’s head you’d vaguely recall the assassination of Legend of Korra, El Tigre, or Invader Zim, but that can is filled with so many “blink and you’ll miss it” smaller shows that were barely given two steps out of the starting gate, it pads down an entire TVTropes article on the subject. Dozens of them, shows that Nick all but basically set up for failure before quietly shipping them to the peaceful farm upstate- by which I mean shuffled off to inconsistent time blocks and lower priority channels so they could burn out their final approved episodes in hospice. Nicktoons alone garnered a hell of a reputation for exactly what I’m talking about, but that’s show biz, or… something.

Their worst and probably most audacious offense of all? Let me tell you about the fate of the charming world of a little girl who made fiends.

There’s no better place to talk about the end than the beginning.

Making Fiends, I mean, the original Making Fiends was a series of flash-animated shorts among a handful of other early 2000s web cartoons made by Amy Winfrey.

✨ Just, in case you didn’t recognize or feel something for that name, Amy Winfrey is one of the utter beasts of cartoons in general, not purely kids’ media. Songwriter, directing, animation, screenwriting, voice acting… you name a part of the process, and she’s probably dipped her toe in there at some point. Professionally, she broke into the industry contributing work to earliest season of South Park, and while she personally is most known for and associated with Making Fiends, the likely most prominent body of work she’s been a part of would be Bojack Horseman, wherein she’s credited as a director for many of its strongest episodes, including (but not limited to):

- “Free Churro”

- “The Telescope”

- "Sunk Cost and All That"

- “The View from Halfway Down”

- Amy Winfrey and her spouse (Peter Merryman) making a cameo appearance in the BJH episode “sunk cost and all that”

And even before all of that, she’s been at this animation stuff since the 90s and it shows in a loaded up portfolio of accolades and projects, both professional and personal.

The relevance of this information is to help put in some perspective to just how rotten of a deal she comparatively got with Nickelodeon, when one of those passion creations got a chance to join the network’s airing list.

But to sum up the idea of the web series proper, it independently released 24 short episodes in total, each centered around the antics of two girls engaged in both a completely one sided friendship and nemesis-ship. The show’s namesake refers to the single action the evil little Vendetta is most known for- creating a variety of servant monsters, many of which she uses to secure her rule over the port town of Clamburg, and all its inhabitants. Charlotte, on the other hand, is the quintessential “children’s show” character: near inhumanly kind, cheerful, and naive. So much so that she’s oblivious to her “best friend’s” near daily attempts to murder her, or the fact that she, you know, despises her.

In 2006, Nickelodeon took an interest in Winfrey’s toon and the prospect of adapting it into a TV series, reportedly because a daughter of a studio employee was a huge fan.

And fun fact btw, this was actually the first time that Nick did this approach of turning an indie web animation into one of their shows, but it certainly wasn’t the last if you remember this was also the origin of Breadwinners.

And as far as the audience was concerned, it was quite the successful transition! The TV version pretty much kept all of the major beats and vibes of the original, with polished animation, the same voice actors, and some stylistic upgrades to the art/environmental designs. For a brief time, it was the highest rated thing on its release channel too. Someone I don’t quite recall the name of once endearingly referred to the show as “baby’s first grimdark” and I adore how fitting of a summary that is. It sports a charmingly unique art style, memorable soundtrack, and I can swear to y’all, the humor aged like a fine wine.

“Why don’t you pretend to be dead?”

“:) ok!”

*slam*

(Also, sidenote, the entire series is still up on your tube, in HD, completely free to watch!)

So, if it’s such a neat little show, then why on earth does barely a soul seem to remember it existing? And even fewer scare who recall knowing about the show during its 2008 release?

Because Nickelodeon Studios, without hyperbole, set this show up for failure at every single turn before it even got a fighting chance.

People know of some shows that Nick treated like garbage, but this one they treated like absolute shit for reasons I can’t fathom.

Making Fiends, for one, never actually saw the light of day on the main network channel, as per the original plans. It was actually instead delegated over to Nick’s sister channel, Nicktoons, by a last minute decision.

Nicktoons, fyi, was not carried by most cable packages. I obviously lived on it as a kid, and it was functionally to Nick what I remember Boomerang being to Carton Network- the cable block where reruns of much older but loved shows were shoveled off to once they finished their days on the main channel.

Second, it was quietly premiered with barely a couple farts of advertising, too. I remember maybe seeing one preview as a kid, on Nicktoons.

And I guess, not keeping either of these in mind, Nick then abruptly pulled the plug on the whole thing, citing the tried and true “low ratings” explanation and leaving it at that.

Not counting years of post-cancelation reruns, the show actively ran from October 4, 2008, to November 1, 2008.

That is roughly a month between premiere and the end production date.

One season. Six entire episodes.

Seven whole additional completed scripts abandoned on the table.

Yeah.

I’m a touch salty about it still.

And with the shutting down of the Nicktoons network social media in 2018, any additional acknowledgment of the show from Nickelodoen themselves has kind of vanished to my knowledge. Like, it’s almost no wonder you already had to be part of the cult following to know about it, when Nick has been quiet about the calf they sent to auction since. Worst part is, they still hogged the rights to the show instead of idk, wild idea, giving it back over to Winfrey. I can only imagine people get away with entire reuploads of the series under the otherwise very IP protective Nick’s nose as another display of how low and bastardly those execs really view Making Fiends.

And that sucks! Wow! But I guess in a “be happy it happened, not sad it ended” way, I’m kind of glad for the fact that we can still enjoy and pass around the show that we did get to experience at all, rather than see it fade into true lost media territory.

Even today, about 16 whole years later, I know for a fact there are still plenty of other fans that remember and cherish the splash this tiny show made in that big, brutal pond. So, in that manner, you can’t truly call Making Fiends dead and gone.

A bittersweet story to think about, and only one of many down a long list, but ultimately one I’m happy to be able to tell at all.

Even if all the while still raising a giant middle finger to the network for the ending.

[nihilnovisubsole]

Thank you! That actually helps a lot. I'm the anon who sent you that question you about what your writing journey has been like. I just recently graduated from an M.A program in English and so I'm sorta in a slump and feeling dejected as I look for jobs, so I think it is more so professionally as I'm in an in-between moment in my life. I've been writing for a long while, my own snippets of original works as well as fanfics in my free time while I was earning my degree, though right now I do feel in a similar spot that you describe being in during your late teens. I'm scared of failure, the thought I might be wasting time, and that I'm not good enough. Writing is something I love and hunger for in a professional scope, but my worries are also getting in my way and make me feel as if I am at a standstill or making no progress. Though I know I just have to start and go and that writing something is better than not doing anything at all. So I just need to get out of that funk I'm in now.

And if it's no trouble, I would love to hear about your job-hunting. I think it would be very useful to hear.

well, it sounds like you're already most of the way there. you're right. we do just have to start. the only way out is through. i find transitional phases in life are, in general, hard, and it's difficult to set off when you don't know where you're going. i think it's why i've thrown myself at so many over-scoped, half-cocked, abandoned story ideas in the past three years. pandemic time is altered, and you have to put that energy somewhere, even if you later find out the project isn't going to work.

so, job-hunting. full disclosure, i can only speak to game writing, because that's what i've been working in since 2017. game writing - or narrative design - is odd. full-time, salaried NDs are a small group, and big studio openings are very rare. i also take rejection hard, which made things interesting, because applying to jobs is like baseball: 90% failure. you have to have a thick skin to make it in a creative industry. i do not! i've just developed coping mechanisms for it. there's nothing like vacuuming the whole house when you're upset. you know that scandinavian guy who said, "i chop wood until i'm too tired to care?" he gets it.

[although, it's funny, since you brought it up: the "academia to gamedev" pipeline is more common than you might think. i work with a former professor, and i have another pal with a Ph.D. my theory is that all the research trained their brains to crunch systems.]

sometime in 2019, i became unsatisfied with the mobile romance job. it happens. time to go somewhere else. i learned fast that i couldn't go on indeed and search "narrative design." most openings came through word of mouth, and some weren't public at all. in short, if i were to hear about a writing job posting, i'd hear about it through the grapevine, and that meant networking. being active on twitter became non-negotiable. i had to meet other game writers and see what they were up to. there's an inherent tension there, because you're looking for a job, but you have to genuinely want to share your work and learn about theirs. i mean, we should always be genuine, but people can tell when you're only out to get something from them. [not that you would! it still bears bringing up.]

if this sounds excruciating, remember, despite the permanence of the internet, people don't get hung up on awkward encounters like we think they do. i was so annoying that first year, faking it 'til i made it, like a 21-year-old who insists she's mature enough for her parents' martini lunch. in time, i met people who were closer to my pay grade. i did a couple of game jams. i settled in. it felt good.

but i still wanted a job! so i timidly applied to a few studios. it took me three months to land an interview. i bombed it. it was humiliating. the thing about being early-career is that every app feels life-or-death, like every interview will be your last chance to prove yourself. "if you screw this one up, nothing will ever come around again!" and it often didn't, for months at a time. but i was stubborn. i kept at it.

still, after a year of that, i grew so burned-out and desperate that i had to swallow my ego and ask people for help. a friend of mine hooked me up with another indie contract. i got job coaching, which prescribed some hard-to-swallow pills. mainly, i needed more experience. mobile games could be a tough sell to AAA studios, and dangerous crowns would never substitute for game work. i can't lie, that frustrated me. i had to go through a grieving process. when i emerged, i gained a level of emotional detachment about it. when you realize you have homework, it doesn't matter how you feel. your assignment is to do a good job and meet your intended goal. i made contrition. i joined a portfolio-building workshop. i began planning dressed to kill. if that was what it took, that's what i had to do.

that's when, mysteriously, things shifted. i got more interviews. in summer of '21, i applied to obsidian for the first time. i said, "what the hell, college-me would kill me if she heard i didn't apply to The New Vegas People." i got rejected, but learned i'd made it to the final round. that was different. that was intoxicating. they liked me. i'd almost made it. they encouraged me to apply again, something i once found unthinkable. but, hey, i'd gotten close, right? so i took the company of heroes contract, which ended up being great. and in winter, when obsidian posted another job, i applied again.

there were other things. participating in the VOW writers' strike put my friends and i in game news. that was a pleasant, intimidating surprise. if nothing else, i learned that, like love trouncing your fear of failure, your desire to push through has to be stronger than your shame. trust me, i know. i'm ashamed of everything. but when it really counts, i think your instinct will tell you that it's worth sticking with it.

[iscanotoronto]

Exploring the Use of 3D Laser Scanning for BIM in Toronto's Construction Sector

As a professional immersed in Toronto's bustling construction industry, I've had the opportunity to witness the transformative impact of technology on our projects. One advancement that stands out is the use of 3D laser scanning, particularly when integrated with Building Information Modeling (BIM). My journey with this technology has not only reshaped how I approach construction but also highlighted the unique advantages it offers in one of North America's most dynamic urban environments.

My First Encounter with 3D Laser Scanning

I still remember my first project involving 3D laser scanning, a complex renovation of a historic building in Toronto's downtown core. The challenge was to modernize the space while preserving its architectural integrity. Traditional surveying methods were inadequate for capturing the intricate details required for this task, so we decided to utilize 3D laser scanning.

Initially, I was skeptical about the technology. Would it truly deliver the accuracy we needed? However, my doubts were quickly dispelled. The scanner captured millions of data points within a matter of minutes, generating a highly detailed 3D model that we could then integrate into our BIM platform. This model served as the foundation for our design and planning phases, enabling us to visualize our project with remarkable clarity.

Understanding 3D Laser Scanning

For those unfamiliar, 3D laser scanning employs laser beams to capture the precise shape and dimensions of physical objects and spaces. In the construction sector, this means creating accurate 3D models of buildings and environments. The technology allows us to document existing conditions with exceptional detail, paving the way for informed decision-making throughout the project lifecycle.

In a competitive market like Toronto, where timelines are tight and budgets are often limited, precision and efficiency are essential. 3D laser scanning removes much of the guesswork associated with traditional surveying methods. The data it provides is not just accurate; it’s comprehensive, offering insights that can lead to better project outcomes.

The Benefits of Combining 3D Laser Scanning with BIM

The integration of 3D laser scanning with BIM creates a powerful synergy that enhances project outcomes. In my experience, this combination is revolutionary. For instance, during a recent commercial retrofit project, we scanned the space to create an as-built model that captured every structural element. Integrating this model into our BIM platform allowed us to plan the retrofit with unprecedented precision.

Here are some of the key benefits I’ve observed:

Accuracy: 3D laser scanning delivers unparalleled accuracy. In a city where even minor errors can lead to significant issues, having precise data is invaluable. This accuracy helps to eliminate surprises during construction, ensuring that the project proceeds smoothly.

Efficiency: The speed at which 3D laser scanning operates is remarkable. Within minutes, we can gather comprehensive data, saving time on site surveys. This efficiency allows our team to focus on planning and execution rather than getting bogged down in data collection.

Cost Savings: While the upfront costs of acquiring scanning technology may seem high, the long-term savings are substantial. By reducing the likelihood of errors and the need for rework, projects can be completed more efficiently, ultimately saving money.

Risk Mitigation: Every construction project carries inherent risks. By leveraging 3D laser scanning, we can identify potential issues early in the design phase, mitigating risks before they become costly problems.

Preservation of Historical Features: Toronto is rich in history, and many construction projects involve working with historical buildings. 3D laser scanning captures intricate details, allowing us to modernize these structures while respecting their original design.

Challenges of Implementing 3D Laser Scanning

Despite the clear advantages, implementing 3D laser scanning is not without its challenges. The initial investment in equipment and software can be significant. Additionally, there is a learning curve associated with the technology. Training staff to effectively use the scanners and integrate the data into BIM can require time and resources.

However, in my experience, the benefits far outweigh the challenges. Once our team became familiar with the technology, we quickly saw its value in enhancing our workflow. The upfront costs are easily justified by the improved accuracy and efficiency we’ve gained.

The Future of 3D Laser Scanning and BIM in Toronto

Looking ahead, I believe 3D laser scanning will become an industry standard in Toronto’s construction sector. As technology continues to advance and become more accessible, more companies will adopt it. I’ve already noticed an increasing number of industry professionals embracing this innovative approach, and I’m excited to see how it will shape our projects in the future.

Toronto’s skyline is constantly evolving, and as we tackle new challenges, the demand for accurate, data-rich models will only grow. Whether constructing new high-rises or restoring historical landmarks, the role of 3D laser scanning in conjunction with BIM will be crucial.

Conclusion

Reflecting on my journey with 3D laser scanning and BIM, I can confidently say that this technology has transformed how we approach construction in Toronto. The accuracy, efficiency, and cost savings it provides are game-changers in an industry where precision is paramount.

For those in the construction field, I encourage you to explore the potential of 3D laser scanning for your projects. While the initial investment may be daunting, the long-term benefits are clear. My experiences have shown me that integrating this technology not only enhances the quality of our projects but also streamlines the entire construction process.

In Toronto’s ever-evolving construction landscape, embracing 3D laser scanning and BIM is a surefire way to stay ahead of the curve. This powerful combination is not just the future of construction; it’s the key to delivering successful, sustainable projects in our vibrant city.

Contact us: iScano Toronto 126 Simcoe Street, Unit 2204, Toronto, Ontario M5H 4E6 (647) 773-1341 https://iscano.com/3d-laser-scanning-toronto/

[buzzdixonwriter]

Writing Report May 31, 2024

I’m writing this two weeks out, so who knows what may change between now and then?

. . .

My goal is to write two book length manuscripts a year, starting one each January 1st, the other each July 1st.

It normally takes me anywhere from 2 ½ to 3 1/3 months to write each novel, which typically clock in between 85K and 124K.

I finished my 24 01 novel about a month ago as you read this and it ended up being 124K+.  Currently I’m sharing it a few chapters at a time with my local writers group, so I am trimming it back based on feedback and what I see as padding.

However, I’m not doing a full bore second draft edit yet.  I prefer to let my first drafts lay fallow for at least six months so I can approach them with fresh eyes for the second draft.

My 23 07 novel is starting its second draft phase.  It ran up to 86K+ when I finished it last year.

I edit / do my second draft by first printing the novel out then going over it with a red pen (PaperMate Flair, my favorite writing instrument) looking for errors, redundancies, over-explaining, and repetitive scenes and dialog.  That took about three days.

Then I start making the changes I marked on paper on the digital second draft. 

Pro tip: Edit your your second draft by starting at the end of the first draft and make changes going forward.

There are a couple of reasons for this:

You’re more likely to spot spelling / punctuation / grammatical errors by going backwards through the text.

All changes you make are in the latter part of the book, meaning if you need to find something earlier on a specific page, the numbering on that part hasn’t changed yet.

Right now I’m roughly halfway through the 23 07 manuscript and have shaved about two thousand words off. [Added later:  Finished editing, shaved 6K+ off]

Good.

Ideally I’d like to pare it down to under 80K.

. . .

While editing the 23 07 manuscript I noticed I tended to have fewer edits in the second half of the book than in the first.

That’s because in the first half I’m still discovering who the characters are, what the story is.

I have a fairly good idea of my plot, but not more than could fit on three pages.

I have ideas for scenes and incidents, but I wait until the book tells me it’s time to put them in.

While I’ve cut two thousand words out of the second half, mostly that’s been single words and short phrases.

The more I write, the more certain I become of the story, the more focused my writing becomes.

At the midway point (where I just broke off tonight before writing this) I’m whacking out sentences / paragraphs / scenes.

I know there will be a lot more major cuts in the first half, including an entire chapter that got Xed out in red.

As noted before, it’s bee observed one needs to write a novel three times:

First to tell yourself the story.

Then to figure out what the story is about.

Finally to tell the story to the reader.

These are not necessarily three distinct separate steps, of course.  Often what the story is really about presents itself to me midway through the first draft.

But I do tend to write three drafts of my longer works, usually incorporating feedback from beta readers or my writers group.

. . .

While doing this, I’m also taking notes on what may be my 24 07 project, a historical novel set in the early part of the 20th century.

It’s an idea I came up with w-a-a-a-y back in the 1980s, but it’s been sitting in the back of my mental refrigerator until now.

My original idea had only four characters:

The main male protagonist (I hate the term “hero”)

The main antagonist (I hate the term “villain”)

The female protagonist

The comic relief

At some point in the 1990s or early 2000s a fifth character was added to the mix, starting out as a minor antagonist but soon joining the protagonists as an ally.

The project became briefly subsumed by another, far larger project I envisions, but eventually abandoned when I saw it becoming too gimmicky and unwieldly.

So now the 24 07 project is back as a standalone.

Sometime after 2010 I started looking at the project through the lens of what actually was going on in the world at the time the novel takes place.

I saw subcurrents I never considered back in the 1980s.  Those subcurrents add to the depth and complexity of the story, broadening it and its cast of characters significantly.

Looks like this is going to be another one of my multi-character epics.

Good.

The extra characters represent people who need to have their stories told.

Two soon-to-be major characters are shady businessmen -- not really crooked, not really sleazy, just…shady -- who start as rivals but find themselves forced to cooperate while still not trusting their new partner and trying to cheat them.

I knew somebody like them would need to be in the story when I first thought of it forty some years ago because my main antagonist would have a specific business-related reason to oppose them.

But as I started noodling story ideas around, I realize these two bozologists needed to do something to actually hurt the antagonist -- not physically, but emotionally.

Now the antagonist harbors a personal vendetta above and beyond his purely business reasons for going after them.

Nice.

What happens after that?

Haven’t the faintest idea at the time of this writing.

I’ve got a couple of vague ideas how to end the story, but getting to those endings is murky right now.

So says Magic 8 Ball.

But I know it will start to shape up.  By the time July 1, 2024 rolls around, I’ll have a pretty good idea what the story is.

It will still surprise me and go in unanticipated directions, but that’s all part of the fun.

. . .

One thing I do know is that my cast has grown exponentially.

I’ve got a dozen characters right now, and I know there will be more.

They’ll come from all sorts of backgrounds.

Different ethnicities / social classes / occupations.

Each with their own distinct patois.

You know what that means, don’t you?

Research!

I’m digging up slang expressions from all sorts of background of the era, and it’s a delight.

Not only have some prompted more story incidents, but a lot of it sounds extremely colorful and funny to this day.

I’m researching far more than I will actually use, but that’s par for the course.

But it is fun.

  © Buzz Dixon

[sensualcoder-dev]

Project Updates - 5/7/24

Looks like it's time for my bi-yearly "remember this blog exists and post an update"! 😄It's been another few months of off and on work due to my day job and other life things going on, but still trying to chip away at things.

More on the individual projects under the cut~

libtcod tutorials

Since my first crack at writing up the C++ tutorials for libtcod, I've mostly been trying to decide what I want to show for them. Part of the feedback I received on the first tutorial was that it didn't have a clear audience, whether it was for beginners to programming or to more advanced developers. I've gone back and forth on this, and I think I've settled on making it more accessible to newer programmers, though that does mean I have some reworking to do. On the upside, I was able to fairly easily change the code on the early tutorials to account for newer versions of libtcod.

I have also been working through reimplementing later tutorials. Most recently worked on the fourth tutorial, where I decided to introduce an event handling system using double dispatch (specifically using the way outlined in this blog post). This approach is a bit complex to implement and describe since it uses certain template patterns, but overall it should allow for the rest of the tutorials to easily add functionality by simply adding events and new event handlers. Actually implementing it took a couple of days of trial and error due to a lot of factors (mostly trying to understand how it all worked myself), but now it's in a good state and pretty easily extendable! Explaining it in the tutorial, however, will be a different story 😅

OpenHomeworld

This is mostly still in the rough design phase still. Most of the tinkering I've done has been around loading and listing the Bigfile contents, and optimizations around that. I'm tempted to start working on a GUI archive tool to display items as well as insert and extract files from the Bigfile, though I'm not sure if I want to make something in Qt or try my hand at making a plugin for Godot. The Qt tool would probably end up being pretty simple and just show a list of files like how 7zip or WinRAR work, which itself would be just a UI around a command line tool, really. If I tried creating a Godot plugin, I'd also want to handle viewing and editing the files extracted from the Bigfile, too, and that would probably also require implementing the way to handle the Homeworld texture, mesh, script, and other files that have their own format internally. The Godot option is tempting, since I would want to have some sort of editor for the project at some point, but I'll probably keep is simple at this point and just make some small command line utilities. Options, though!

At the same time, I've been playing with the source port of the original game and trying my hand at updating the build system to CMake. This has gone mostly smoothly, except for one snag that I have yet to figure out a good way to handle. You see, the old Homeworld source code is written in C, but the game levels were created in a scripting language that the Relic devs used called KAS (which I think stands for Kick-Ass Scripts lol). Essentially these KAS files would get converted into C code and compiled into the main game executable, and the way the game is built with Makefiles makes it pretty easy to hook in calls to the utility programs to convert these files. In all my messing around, though, I have not been able to successfully replicate that process using CMake. I might need to specify all of the mission files explicitly to have them build and link properly, but I worry I'll end up running into a situation where the build will fail due to things being run out of order in multi-threaded builds (which is already a problem with the source port process though). Analysis continues...

Metal Max Redux - GBC game project

In my last devlog, I mentioned that I was interested in making a game based on a series of obscure JRPGs. The Metal Max/Metal Saga games are ones that I found last year and fell in love with, so much so that I wanted to create a game based off them. The first game in the series was an NES game that was never released in North America, but has a wonderful fan translation patch that I was playing through, but have not actually completed quite yet. It's a fun little RPG where you can drive tanks around a post-apocalyptic world fighting monsters, and has a pretty open structure to it, not unlike the first Dragon Quest or Final Fantasy.

Last year I also came across GB Studio, a free and open source all-included editor for creating GameBoy and GameBoy Color games from scratch, and this gave me a great idea: since I was a huge fan of the GBC port of Dragon Quest I+II, I thought I would make a similar port of Metal Max. So Metal Max Redux was born!

I'm still mostly in the beginning stages with this project still, but I've created a basic mock-up of overworld movement and triggering random battles. The random battle system took a while to puzzle out, and at one point I thought I was going to have to extend the engine that GB Studio uses, but I was able to make it work using a step counter attached to an invisible player object that seems to work well enough. Next steps will probably be analyzing how the NES battle code worked, so I'll be looking at lots of assembly. Fun times! 😄

Free City-States - lewd city management game

Finally, a project to earn my screenname 😄 I really enjoy city builder and management games like the Caesar series and Dwarf Fortress, and within the last few years games like Crusader Kings and Stellaris.

A while back, I was starting to help out with a project called Free Cities Reborn, itself a reimagining of an HTML game called Free Cities, a lewd management game with some city building aspects. I couldn't continue with FCR after a while due to some growing reservations about the content and focus of the game which extends somewhat to the original too, since its core gameplay is around the raising, training, and sale of sex slaves. It's a fun indulgence, if somewhat of a guilty pleasure, and it's certainly not the first game that's concerned with the subject matter, but I still felt weird contributing to a project where it was so focused on that. But at the same time I started to think about creating my own spin on the core ideas, and creating my own lewd game in general.

So that's how Free City-States came to be envisioned. The core game concept in my mind is more akin to Crusader Kings and Stellaris than to Caesar and Dwarf Fortress, but focused on the management of a fantasy city-state. I've created a small mock-up in Godot as my first real foray into that game engine so far, and hoping to continue chipping away at it as the concept becomes more fleshed out 😊

Wow, this ended up way longer than I thought it would, and this doesn't even cover all the small ideas and tinkerings I've been working on! Putting it down into words, I guess I really did do a lot between the last post and this one 😅 Hopefully future posts will be a little shorter, but this was a fun way to reflect on the things that I'm working on. I think I'll try to make fortnightly updates if I can, going forward.

[emcscared-whumps]

WiJ 2022 - 01: (Re)introduce Yourself

WiJ 2022 Navigation Post

Intro!!

Hi, I'm emc, and I write whump of original characters in original settings! I've had this blog since some time in August last year (2021), and in these short few months, I've come a long way in the whump community. Everyone I've met here is wonderful and friendly and I've enjoyed every second of whumpblr and whump discord.

I've had at least a vague awareness about my taste for (fictional) blood since I was a kid around 5 or 6, but I first remember seeking the whumperflies in my teens (I'll get more into that in tomorrow's post :3c), and later still, I discovered Whumpblr posts through Pintrest, and joined a whump discord server a few years later, and then made this blog a year after that ^-^' . Getting into whump is the best thing I've ever done tbh, it's the gift that keeps on giving.

(I can now run off whump derived dopamine instead of trying to be happy!! /j/j/j/j)

Some fun facts are... I'm Australian, I do karate, I'm in the Danny Phantom fandom, I have an interest in cutting gems and other semiprecious stones, I have three cats, I love plants and gardening, and my favourite colour is unironically a deep, cool red. I also draw!

Project Updates!

Since joining the community, I have made tremendous progress on my nearest and dearest project Shifting Phases! Not only do I now have a rough idea of how to get everyone to the end scenes, I've actually started writing it!!! I'm super excited! I want to get it beta read in its entirety before I post it though, so it's a long way off yet. (As a byproduct, this means that I'll never post the fic unfinished lmao)

This story has spawned an AU that somehow manages to be darker. It's still in the ideation phases (brainrot spam to all of my whump friends on discord, rip them), so it'll be a little while before you see much posted about this one :3

My friend I recently made a lot of progress on Satanus Magus! We have basically the whole plot figured out, it just needs to be beefed up with some scenes. I look forward to writing that all out in the word doc void :)

My friend and I actually hope to publish this irl one day, so, That's A Thing!

It's an older idea of mine, it spawned in around 2018... But getting out of school and into this community has really boosted my creativity (bouncing ideas around is a powerful tool). It's like an action movie, but instead of guns and explosions, it's elemental magic and explosions!! It's not an outright whumpy fic, but ofc bc I'm involved, there are definitely a lot of whump themes.

Lastly, I have a new fic idea kicking around in my head involving a vampire and a human. It's still veeeerrryyy early days for it, but I'm already in love with the concept, and I have been sorely lacking in vampire whump for many years. I look forward to working with Malté and Corwin >:3c though I'm sure the same eagerness is not extended back -rubs my evil little handses together-

My Favourite Whump Tropes! Oh man...

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Especially when they try and fail to get up again

A whumpee getting tangled and/or ensnared in something they can't get out of

A painful mobility impairment as a result of a traumatic injury

Delirium and panic where they don’t recognise their friend/caretaker, maybe they’re waking up from a nightmare, and they lash out at their friend/caretaker-- most fun with nightmares/night terrors ;DD

I'm recently getting into fucked up mental health shit >:)

Ab00se (but like, not romantic relationships)

Nonhuman whumpees (mer and vampire/demon whumpees are where it's at tbh)

Painful transformation (and the aftermath, especially if the whumpee ends up Different than they were Before)

Bonus points for terrified, horrified, and very uncoordinated bb getting used to their new body and having an awful time

Secret based whump where bad things happen if anyone ever finds out whumpee's secret

An injury jeopardising the secret-- the secret needs to be revealed it to treat the injury

A whumpee going stupidly far to hide a secret, leading to a dramatic collapse and injury/scar reveal :D

A secret reveal gone badly never fails to give me whumperflies <3

I love it when circumstances are what leads to the whump. Not all of my whumpees have whumpers at all times, and where the whump comes from often fluctuates, but a common theme of my works is that the whump is primarily a product of circumstance that enables my characters to be whumped, whether by another person (whumper), or otherwise.

A happy, or at the very least, a bittersweet ending

#These are a few of my favourite things#

Also, Tumblr just fucking ate this draft when I was 99% done, and I was a fool who did not frequently save, and now I'm starting from nothing but a (shit) memory so... I'm not angy, I'm just sad and tired lol, apologies if there're any dumb phrasing/grammatical errors lol I can't even think straight anymore gkjdhfg

(The beta post editor may be easier on my poor eyes, but It has a habit of eating things on occasion...)

@whumpmasinjuly

[roonilwazlibimagines]

What are some of your scenarios to fall asleep to? 👀

Ahhhh I’m glad you asked !! Also please feel free to share some of yours they can be specific or vague idc I’m in desperate need

I will be going into heavy detail because I can’t help myself I’m sorry and I will put in both normal ones and Harry Potter ones

Also this is just like one big ramble I’m sorry I got too excited I literally turned into that Tik tok sound where it’s like ‘you’re asking me about my theories? I’ve waited years for someone to ask me about my theories’

Update - I think I’m just going to keep updating this as well when I think of new ones because I keep forgetting some

My most recent one is a royalty one where they’re like royalty but in their really prestigious and royal school they were academic rivals and did not get along and after school they like try to go their separate ways until a couple years later their parents force them into an arranged marriage for like the good of the country or whatever I don’t really care!! You can take it wherever you want from there but in case you were interested in mine he fell for her first and kinda gave up on the enemies thing pretty early on but she still made it clear he wasn’t her favourite person and she despised the situation and there is still constant teasing until she meets his sister or friend or whoever who says that they can’t believe how happy he is with them and she feels so bad because she thinks he deserves better and ends up being much meaner to him because she’s an idiot who can’t express her emotions and he gets angry at her because she’s being super mean after they were just starting to get along and they have a big argument and are forced to talk about their feelings and then I can never decide whether they actually like each other when they get married, I feel like either way is fun

I have a thing for royalty so my other one is literally just princess x stable boy and you can honestly take that wherever you want but I will tell you where I took it for some ✨inspiration✨ so I don’t have my drivers license and get really bad driving anxiety so I self projected and made her terrified of riding horses right (I’m so smart I know) and he is like trying to help her ride the horse and feel comfortable and like obviously they end up in love but I created drama because she sneaks out to his birthday party (!!) but his friends don’t like her because they just think she’ll be a snob but he obviously defends her but like it’s a perfect opportunity for a bit of an innocent princess as well

My personal favourite is the two co stars falling in love and like thinking about doing all those stupid interviews from like buzzfeed and all that and I personally love the trying foods from different places thing (like making them try fairy bread - because I’m from Australia and we aren’t that cultured and being mad when they don’t like it because it is my favourite food) and it’s great because i can make the guy any actor I am currently obsessed with 😭 but also like the red carpet opportunities and interviews and fan reactions and it’s very fun also this keeps my brain very busy because I like making it as realistic as possible and figuring out the actors timeline so I can match the story up with it, it’s always really intense, also if you want inspiration for what moving they’re staring in I always go for the live action version of tangled even if I don’t look anything like rapunzel

Another fun one is where one of them is in a band and you have a friend who is dating one of the other members but you don’t like the band and you’re not shy in letting the other members know that and it turns into an enemies to lovers thing but I haven’t really developed it because halfway through I ended up changing it with the fact that they befriend one of the members and like fall for them but the band member like ‘gets around’ and it makes them jealous until they drunkingly confess it made them jealous this one’s a bit of a mess and is tipping into a 2012 wattpad story but it was how I got back into my 5sos phase two years ago because I felt icky about them but I’m still a slut for Calum 😭

Another one I love is moving abroad to study or whatever (idk I just always need a reason to be in America/Uk because there’s no one here in australia) and you make friends with someone who turns out to be related to someone really famous (insert whoever you want) and you meet them and you think they’re the hottest person you’ve ever seen and you get drunk to gain confidence to talk to them and you’re like unashamedly flirting with them and they think it’s cute and you’re funny but the whole little plot twist is that you don’t know they’re famous (famous people love that, trust me, I have about 10 wattpad stories in my library that can prove this) !! And the don’t believe you don’t know they’re famous !! Anyways I took it in a sugar daddy direction but each to their own!

Specifically for Harry Potter though, you ask?

Currently I am obsessed with Regulus Black and for about the past two weeks I’ve been obsessed with the idea of James potter sibling x regulus black enemies to lovers story and then about a week ago I found an actually good wattpad story about it?!?! (I have recommended it here with warnings but I really encourage you to read it if you’re not a minor) but you can also do your own version because I am still doing my own version and will continue to do my own version tonight even if I am obsessed with the wattpad one !! Currently I am up to post Hogwarts and her and regulus are trying to defeat Voldemort and regulus tells her that Peter is going to betray James and so ofc she tells James but James is like ‘how to do you even know this??’ And he is so afraid and gets angry at her and it’s really dramatic and she tells him she’s dating regulus and then he gets super mad at her because she’s dating like one of the most well known and loyal death eaters (even if regulus is sneakily trying to destroy Voldemort) and because he didn’t tell her and it’s very dramatic

My favourite Sirius black idea is also a James potters sibling one, but I never have any good ideas for it and just end up self projecting so if anyone has any ideas, I am begging you, please tell me !!!

My other Sirius black one is one I’ve been working on for like the last 4 years of my life and I probably should write it but who knows, but basically it’s a 10 things I hate about you x Harry Potter story where reader is about a year or so older than the marauders and she is like Kat Stratford (for people who haven’t watched it the best way to describe her is just an angry early 2000s feminist who is like anti dating and fun (kinda)) but she is Lily Evans sister!! And so Lily gets fed up of James constantly asking her out and makes an offhand comment that she’ll date him when her sister goes on a date with someone and James is like really?!? And Lily is like ‘sure’ because she knows her sister will never date anyone at Hogwarts so James tells the marauders and Remus is like ‘if anyone can take her on a date, it’s Sirius’ and Sirius is like ‘no, I’m stupid but not that stupid’ and James is like ‘please I’ll pay you’ and Sirius is easily bribed so he tries to get her to go on a date with him and like she doesn’t until she does and then finds out he only did it because James paid him but then they fall in love? Basically just 10 things I hate about you lol

My next one is with Draco Malfoy and all it is is that reader comes from a pure blood family and they’ve known each other since they were babies and it’s like basically destined they get married but she gets like really upset when he gets the mark which makes for a good cuddling and crying scene and like idk people are probably more creative than me but I just like reimagining scenes from hp but with this new character so like Poa when she gets angry at him about buckbeak or the bathroom scene (maybe she duels Harry?) and she’s so upset about Draco and comforts him, or helping him in sixth year and comforting him or the quidditch scene in the fifth book (weird note, but I’ve always headcannoned that my original character finds out about dumbledores army but doesn’t say anything and like the da knows she knows but she doesn’t tell Draco or maybe Draco finds out and gets angry at her?)

My other one is another Draco malfoy one where James and Lily live and she’s Harry’s younger sister (and Voldemort isn’t a thing) but like there’s still stereotypes and beliefs and such and like it’s obviously enemies to lovers and maybe they get prefect duties together ? (I am a sucker for this trope in Harry Potter) but then when they do date they try to hide it but Harry finds out but doesn’t say anything until they get into a fight at home and he is like ‘well at least I’m not fucking Draco malfoy behind everyone’s back) (in my head they aren’t fucking because they’re still in Hogwarts but you get the idea) and James and Lily are just like ‘WHAT?!’ Like idk I just think it’s funny imagining James and Lily finding out their kid is dating Draco and Lucius and narcissus finding out Draco is dating a potter - so many possibilities!

Update 6.10.21

I also have one for Charlie Weasley !! And basically you’re friends with the twins and like you go your whole Hogwarts life with the biggest crush on Charlie but like he low key doesn’t even know who you are and you want to become a healer and then after Hogwarts there is a position in Romania and you take it because you know Charlie’s there and at first he is like hmmm I think I know you and you explain you’re friends with the twins and obviously he falls in love with you I also took it in a nsfw direction where it’s like major innocence kink because Charlie is just such a dom to me and he like teaches you everything but he makes sure you’re happy and safe and it’s not really like serious sex you’re both just having fun and he kinda introduces you to dom/sub dynamics but you can do whatever is most comfortable

[highsviolets]

INTERVIEW NO. 1: RACHEL @djarinsbeskar

hello hello! i am so happy to announce that rachel — aka the immense talent that is @djarinsbeskar — has agreed to be my first interviewee for this new series! thank you to rach and to each one of you for all of your support. to read more about the project, click here, and to submit an author, click here.

| why rachel? |

Rachel captured my imagination from the first time we interacted as mutuals-in-law. She’s bursting with energy and vivaciousness, with a current of kindness just underneath everything she does. Her work is no exception. Oftentimes gritty, raw, and exposing (in … ahem…more ways than one), Rachel challenges her readers to dig deeper into both the story and themselves. Her smut brings a particular fire as it’s laced with need, desire, and mutual trust that leads us deeper into the characters’ identities and how physical affection can mimic other forms of intimacy. She’s a tour de force in this fandom and an absolute joy.

| known for |

Engaging with and encouraging other authors, cultivating inspo posts, attention to world building & character development

| my favorites |

Stitches

Boxer!Din

Full Masterlist • Ko-Fi

| q & a |

When did you start writing? What was that project, and what was it like? Has that feeling or process ever changed over time? Why?

I can’t remember a time I wasn’t writing. I was an avid reader, as I think most writers are—and I remember, after picking up Lord of the Rings—that I could live so many lives, experience so many things, all from the pages of a book. I could make sense of the world through words and ink and paper. And it offered me a level of peace and clarity I wanted to share with others. So, I started writing.

My first project I remember to this day, was a short story about a dog. I had been so heartbroken when I learned that dogs were colourblind. I must have been about seven or eight at the time, and I was fixated on this idea that dogs couldn’t see the vibrant hues that made the world beautiful. It was something I wanted to change—and with all the righteous anger of a child not getting their own way, I sulked over the fact that I couldn’t. Until I wrote it down.

“How do dogs see colour?”

And much like my writing today, I answered myself.

“Dogs don’t need to see colour. Dogs smell colour.”

And so, I wrote a story, about a puppy being brought on different walks by its owner. And with every new street it walked down—colour bloomed with scent. Colours more beautiful and vibrant than we could ever hope to see with our eyes. And it gave me solace and helped me work through an emotion that – granted was immature and inconsequential – had affected me. To this day, I still smile seeing dogs sniffing at everything they pass on their walks. Smelling colour. It gave me the key to my favourite thing in life. I don’t think my process has changed much since then. Much of what I write is based on a skeleton plan, but I leave room for characters to speak and feel as they need to. I like to know the starting point and destination of a chapter—but how they get there, that still falls to instinct. I think I’ve found a happy medium of strict planning and winging it that suits me now—and hopefully it will continue to improve over time!

When did you start posting your writing, and on what platform? What gave you the push to do that?

I mean, fanfiction has always been part of my life. I think anyone who was growing up in the late 2000’s and early 2010’s found their way to fanfiction.net at some time or other. The wild west compared to what we have now! My first post was for the Lord of the Rings fandom on fanfiction.net. It was an anthology of the story told through the eyes of the steeds. Bill the Pony, Shadowfax—it was all very innocent. That was probably in 2010 when I was fifteen. I had been wanting to share writing for a long time but was worried about how it would be received. I didn’t really have a gauge on my level or my creativity and – one of the many flaws of someone with crippling perfectionism – I only ever wanted to provide perfection. That was a major inhibitor when I was younger. By wanting it to be perfect, I never posted anything. Until that stupidly cute LOTR fic. It was freeing to write something that no one but me had any interest in, because if I was writing for myself then there was no one to disappoint, right? And that was all it took. I had some pauses over the years between college and life and such, but I’ve never lost that mindset when it comes to posting.

What your favorite work of yours that you have ever written? Why is it your favorite? What is more important to you when considering your own stories for your own enjoyment — characters? fandom? spice? emotional development? the work you’ve put into it? Is that different than what you enjoy reading most in other people’s fics?

I don’t think it’ll come as much of a surprise when I say Stitches. While not original, I mean—it follows the plot of the Mandalorian quite diligently, it is the piece of work I really hold very close to my heart. Din Djarin as a character is what got me back into writing after what must have been five years? He inspired something. His manner, his personality—he resonated with me as a person in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. And gave me back a creative outlet I had been missing.

It’s funny to say out loud—but I wanted to give him something? I spent so long thinking about his character that half my brain felt like it belonged to him—how he reacted and responded to things etc. and of course, like every dreamy Pisces—I wanted to give him love and happiness. So, Stitches came along. Personally, when writing—it’s a combination of characters, emotional development and spice (I can’t help myself) and when we can follow that development. With Stitches, it’s definitely the spice that is the conduit for development—but I adore showing how the physical can help people who struggle to communicate emotions too complex for words.

I don’t usually read for Din, as most people know—but I do enjoy reading the type of work that Stitches is. Human, damaged—but still with an undercurrent of hope that makes me think of children’s books.

You said, “much like writing today, I answered myself.” Could you talk about that in relation to Stitches?

So, I’m endlessly curious, it has to be said. Especially about why people are the way they are. Why people do A instead of B. Why X person’s immediate thought went to this place instead of that place. And I’m rarely satisfied with superficial explanations. One of the most exciting parts of writing and fanfiction especially, is making sense of that why. There can be countless explanations, some that are content with what is seen on the surface and some that go deep and some that go even deeper still.

Stitches is almost a – very long winded and much too long – answer to the questions I was so intrigued by about Din Djarin, about the Mandalorian and about the Star Wars universe as a whole. I often wondered what happened to people after the Rebellion, the normal people who fought—the people in the background. What did they do next? Did some of them suffer from PTSD? What was the galaxy like right after the Empire fell? That first season of the Mandalorian answered some of those questions, but I wanted to know more. So, I created a reader insert who was a combat medic—and through her, I let myself answer the questions of what happened next.

Regarding Din as a character, I wanted to know what a bounty hunter with a code of honour would do in certain situations—what made him tick, what made hm vulnerable. I wanted to explore the discovery of his identity. Din Djarin didn’t exist after he was taken from Aq Vetina. He became a cog in a very efficient machine of Mandalorians—and it was safe there. I wanted to see what – or who – might encourage him to step into his own. Grogu was that person in a familial sense, but what about romantically? What about individually? There’s so much to explore with this man! So many facets of personality and nuances of character that make him so gorgeous to write and think about.

Talk to me about the Din Djarin Athletic Universe. How does Din as all of these forms of athlete play off who you see him as in canon?

The Athletic Universe! How I adore my athletes. Despite being in a modern setting, I have kept the core of Din’s character in each of them (at least I hope I have!). I like to divide Din’s character into three phases when it comes to canon because he’s not as immovable as people seem to think he is. We discussed this before, how I see Din as a water element—adaptable, but strong enough that he can be as steadfast as rock. But I digress, the first phase is the character we see in the first episode. Basically, before Grogu. There’s an aggressive brutality to Din when we see him bounty hunting. He works on autopilot and isn’t swayed by sob stories or promises. He has the covert but is ultimately separate. Those soft feelings he comes to recognise when he has Grogu are dormant – not non-existent – but they haven’t been nurtured or encouraged. This is the point I extracted Boxer!Din’s personality and story from.

Cyclist!Din on the other hand—is already a father, a biological father to Grogu. And his personality, I took from that moment in the finale of Season two where I believe Din’s transformative arc of character solidified. He was always a father to Grogu, but I do believe that moment where he removes his helmet is the moment, he accepts that role fully in his heart and mind. And that is why I don’t believe for a second, that removing his helmet was him breaking his Creed. In fact, I believe it was the purest act he could do in devotion to his Creed—to his foundling, to his son. The Cyclist!AU is very much the character I see canon Din having should Grogu have stayed with him. This single dad who isn’t quite sure how he got to where he is now—but does anything and everything for his child without thought. It’s a natural instinct for him, and I like exploring those possibilities with Cyclist!Din.

You also said, “he has the covert but is ultimately separate.” What does it take for him — and you — to get to that point of being ‘not separate?’

I mentioned this above, but one of the biggest interests I have in Din as a character is his identity. He’s a Mandalorian, he’s a bounty hunter, he’s the child’s guardian but those are all what he is, not who. I think Din is separate while being part of the covert because he doesn’t know. I don��t think anyone can really be part of something if they don’t know who they are or, they struggle with their identity. It’s curious to me—how you can deceive even yourself to mimic the standard set for the many. In the boxer verse, he identifies himself in relation to his boxing—and every part of his outward personality exhibits those qualities. But when he’s given a softer touch—an outlet of affection, and comfort—we see the softer side of him surface. It’s very much the same with Stitches Din. Identity is like anything, emotions—relationships, bodies. It needs nurturing to thrive, an open door—a safe space. At least, that’s what goes through my mind when I think of him.

Who is your favorite character to read?

Frankie because there are so many ways his character can be interpreted and there are some stellar versions of him that I think of at least once a day. Javi because he reminds me of kintsugi-- golden recovery, broken pottery where the cracks are highlighted with gold. I also adore reading for Boba Fett, Paz Viszla and the clones!

Is there anything else you want your readers to know about you, your writing, or your creative process?

Hmm... only that I am quite literally a gremlin clown who is always here to chat Din, Star Wars, literature, book recs and anything else under the sun! I like to hear people's stories, their opinions etc. it helps me see things from alternative points of view and can truly help the writing process! Other than that, I think I can only thank readers for putting up with my ridiculously long chapters and rambling introspection. Thank you for indulging me always! ❤️

[suddenlysackler]

Limelight

Adam Sackler x Reader

TW: N/A (maybe a lil smidge of angst but nothing major)

A/N: This has been on the back burner for quite a bit and it’s a tad messy but I wanted to put it out for you all because I miss you and I miss my goblin bf and, ya know, Cannes 2021. Thank you for reading, I’m hopeful that I’ll be back more frequently in the coming weeks!

...

Adam Sackler had ascertained very quickly that he did not care for red carpets in the slightest. 

Given what he had found himself struggling through his late teens and seemingly all of his twenties, the relief of finally, finally, finally achieving some sort of steady stream of work and establishing himself as a serious actor provided relief that he could not be more grateful for. 

He liked being able to turn down the $800 a month from his grandmother and moving out of his apartment for good this time, trading up for some swanky new town house in upper Manhattan. He liked being able to afford to be choosy about what jobs he took and he liked that he was able to split his time between stage and screen. Hell, he’d even tried his hand at directing some dumb indie film that landed him right smack dab in the middle of Sundance.

Which is when he found out he hated red carpets.

He absolutely hated the insincerity of all of it — the rushed interviews, the posing for what seemed like hours on end for photographs that he’d probably never even see and he wasn’t allowed to smile for exactly like he’d want to. He hated answering the same questions over and over again and rubbing elbows with reporters from tabloids asking about off screen romances and making it blatantly clear to him that they weren’t interested in the art he had just helped create.

Along the way, maybe five red carpet events into his career, he met you. To his surprise, he didn’t meet you through a mutual friend or at a party or by yelling at you to stop taking food from open containers in the store he was working in. He met you because he accidentally took your coffee on a Wednesday morning before you could grab it and you promptly chased him down 45th street and cussed him out by using every single insult you could manage.

And that’s when things just clicked for him.

Everything fell into place after you came into his life and suddenly he felt even more fulfilled than he originally figured was even possible. He liked coming home to you after long days on set or at the theater. He liked bringing you to see different projects he was working on during production or bringing you to advanced screenings or dress rehearsals. Whenever he got a script, you were the first one he talked to about whether or not to even try for the role. He never wanted to object you to the horror that was a red carpet.

Not until now, anyway.

It was the first time that you had happened to be available for one and, yeah, he had invited you to all of the ones he had been to since you had been together but he didn’t necessarily want to take you. Of all of the things in his world that he wanted to show you, premiere events were the one thing he wanted to shelter you from. You knew about the drinking, the philandering of his early to mid twenties, the string of psycho ex girlfriends who he swore might show up at your shared doorstep at any given time to rip him a new one. Despite all of that shit, you’d some how managed to still like him, love him even. He didn’t want to chase you away with the bullshit that came with his career.

Maybe this would be the straw that broke the camel’s back?

You’d said yes without hesitation and his stomach dropped. He knew you never turned down an excuse to dress up, to impress him and make him feel proud of the fact that you were his girl, just his. So, on the night of the Tony Awards, he sat in the hotel room his manager had reserved for the two of you to get ready with the help of a team of aestheticians and hair dressers and tailors watching you twirl in what was probably the most expensive ball gown you would ever wear in childlike delight. Music of your choice played softly on someone’s phone and you could hardly stay still enough for the finishing touches that were being pushed into your face. You looked and felt like a million bucks and Adam knew that, but how was he supposed to enjoy it? He was too preoccupied with figuring out what he would do if you freaked out on him, threatened to leave him or some shit, after the circus act you were about to parade through in order to get to your final destination of the night.

“You look handsome.” You called from the chair you had been forced into, eyes opened wide for quick swipes of mascara.

Adam was so far gone, lost in his thoughts and strapped with worry. He didn’t hear you compliment him. He didn’t see you get up and he felt as though the force of you slotting yourself between his slightly parted legs was a ghost of a touch. “Hey, doll.” He mumbled when he finally did notice you.

One of your eyebrows quirked up. “You good, Adam?” 

He sensed some wavering in your voices, maybe some concern. Maybe some doubt? “I’m okay, just hate this shit.”

The other eyebrow followed the first. “What do you mean you hate this shit?” You ask as his publicist swept into the room and began to shoo the two of you out the door and down to stand for pictures and questions. 

He held your hand tightly as you weaved down the hall and into the elevator. “I just don’t like this part.” He shrugged and you squeeze his hand as you listen. “Worried it’ll bug you as much as it bugs me.”

“I mean, I’d walk over hot coals to see you in a tux.” You teased, eyes bright. When he doesn’t shoot back with a response characteristic of his normally playful bravado, some of that brightness leaves your expression. “You know I’m just happy to be with you, right? I’m proud of you.”

Adam hummed in response and squeezed your hand back. “I know.”

You weren’t having his clipped answers. “I don’t care that there are going to be pictures or tons of people watching. You know that shit won’t make me think differently of you.”

He remained quiet after giving you another shrug, still completely scared out of his mind that your words were just that, words. That you’d hit the ground running and never look back as soon as you realized just what supporting him at these things entailed.

The silence lasted for the rest of the elevator ride, through the lobby, and in the limousine and in the little holding room they put you in that is riddled with all of the snacks he would tease you for indulging in had the circumstances been different. He was tense, his muscles tight, tight, tight from his jaw to his calves, knee bouncing and free hand clenching and unclenching right until the moment his name was called. 

The moment wasn’t awful to begin with. It’s mostly pausing and stopping a lot of times for Adam to take pictures while you watch from the sidelines and, every so often, he pulls you in for a few. He doesn’t tell you that, in the moments he doesn’t have his arm around you, that isn’t kissing your cheek chastely and holding your hand, that he feels like he’s drowning. 

It didn’t phase you as you listened to reporters hound him about his female costar and whether or not they were seeing each other. It really didn’t even phase you when one man asked you to “step aside” and referred to you as Adam’s friend, despite his tight grip on your waist and the tender glances his stole every twenty seconds or so. And honestly, you didn’t really care that you might have gotten jostled up a little bit by photographers and other reporters as you stepped aside, more than happy to speed up the process for Adam.

But Adam would not have that, not at all.

“We’re fuckin’ done.” Adam growled, his eyes locking on your face as soon as he noticed you stumble a bit. He left without another word to any of the reporters and looked for his publicist, who was beyond livid at the fact that Adam was blowing off his responsibilities without much of an explanation. Before he went up to him, he grabbed your hand and dragged you along with him, not saying another word.

After a hushed but tense back and forth between the two men, the three of you stepped out of the view of the public and quickly found one of the many green rooms for invited guests to cool down and touch up hair and make up before heading into the venue. 

He paced and paced and paced for a long moment, leaving you to sit on the couch and watch with bated breath, praying that his older destructive tendencies didn’t suddenly find their way back to the surface of his psyche. 

After a long while, you finally spoke. “Can you come here?” You whispered, eyes round and, to be frank, a bit desperate. 

Adam came to you without a moment’s hesitation and knelt in front of you, placing his head in your lap and putting your hands in his hair. “Are you going to leave me tonight?” He mumbled into the tulle of your dress.

A soft smile crossed your lips and you shook your head, then moved to cup his cheeks and lift his face up to look at your own. “Now why would I even consider doing that?” You hummed. 

“After that shit show? Any sane person would leave.”

“Whoever said I was sane? Isn’t that why you like me?” 

He chuckled at that and nodded, biting back a comment about how anyone would have to be insane to want to stay with him for as long as you had. “That was just some totally bullshit and you know it, doll.”

You shrugged and shook your head once more. “Nothing I can’t handle, I’ve had my fair share of total bullshit with old haunts showing up on our doorstep, huh?” You made sure to keep your tone teasing, not wanting him to feel as though he needed to shoulder any of the blame for the situation.

Adam laughed again and relaxed visibly for the first time all night. “Do you want to even stay?” He asked, his own voice a bit more reassured. 

“Of course I want to stay, you’re up for an award, dummy.” You giggle, letting your head fall back as he moved up to pepper your exposed neck with kisses and playful bites. “And there’s the after party — I heard there’s going to be some damn good desserts and music.”

He flashed you a smirk when he pulled back and stood, then offered his hand to you. “What is it you always say when I ask to eat out on the way home from shit?” He proposed.

You stood and took his hand, intertwining your fingers and squeezing before walking toward the door. “What do you mean?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Adam’s smirk only widened as he held the door open for you and smacked your ass before letting you go. “We have dessert at home.”

[scotianostra]

On October 1st 1763 the contract to build Edinburgh's North Bridge was signed.

Edinburgh in the 1700s was a very different city to the one we know today. The city boundary was restricted to the dramatic crag and tail feature which swept eastwards from the castle. Up to 35,000 people inhabited a space under a mile long making Scotland’s capital one of the most densely populated urban areas in the world at that time. The overcrowded population were crammed into crumbling tenements, many of them up to fourteen storeys high in order to make the most of the limited space. Make no mistake, Edinburgh at this point in it's history, was a skyscraper city, very few cities in the world had buildings the height of our capital!

Edinburgh’s nobility were often forced to accept the unthinkable and share dwellings with the lower classes. Change was not just desired, it was deemed an absolute necessity if the city was ever to move forward.

Plans to build a New Town to the north were discussed as early as the 1750s but without the means of connecting it with the rest of Edinburgh, it would be nothing more than a fanciful dream. Phase one required the draining of the ancient Nor’ Loch, a man-made stagnant body of water located in the area which we now term as Princes Street Gardens. Drainage began in 1759 and would continue up until the 1820s. Dry land at the east of the Nor’ Loch valley allowed for what was undoubtedly the most ambitious engineering project to have been built in the city at that point: An eleven-hundred foot long stone bridge. The North Bridge, as it would be named, enabled the New Town to become a reality. A brand new chapter in the city’s history was about to begin.

And so it was that the foundation stone of architect William Mylne’s North Bridge was laid on 1st October 1763 but it would be a further two years before any serious amount of progress was made. Nearing completion, the magnificent multi-arched bridge first opened to pedestrians in 1769 to much fanfare and excitement.   However, the cheers would soon be emphatically silenced that summer due to a disaster of epic proportions.

On the evening of Thursday, 3rd August 1769 the side walls of the south abutment of the bridge suddenly gave way, causing a partial collapse of the structure and tragically claiming the lives of five people.

Rescue efforts were recorded by newspaper the Caledonian Mercury which detailed the grim discoveries of bodies "buried in the rubbish, occasioned by the fall of the walls of the south abutment of the new bridge over the north loch".

Two of the bodies were identified as belonging to Mr Lawson, shoemaker, and Mr James Fergus, a local writer.

The Caledonian Mercury went on to mention that workers had been digging almost day and night since the collapse and that at least three to four others were feared to have shared the "same unhappy fate with the two already found".

A contemporary letter penned by a Darcy, Lady Maxwell recalls the evening of the collapse, which she had witnessed, writing 

“The Lord, who is continually loading me with his benefits, has twice this day remarkable interfered on my behalf. In the evening he preserved me from broken bones to which I was exposed in a fall. A few hours after, when walking home from chapel, I witnessed a most melancholy scene occasioned by the falling in of the North Bridge. I… was within five minutes of passing over it… when almost in a moment, the greatest noise I ever heard (except on a similar occasion when I was remarkably preserved) filled the air."It seemed as if the pillars of nature were giving way. Instantly, the cry resounded “the bridge is fallen!”

A full inquiry followed and identified haste in construction and a poorly-calculated estimate regarding the depth of the foundations and sturdiness of the earth-filled abutments as the chief causes behind the disaster.

Rebuilding work demanded £18,000 (almost double the original £10,140 cost of the project) and the city would have to wait until 1772 before the grand reopening.  The original North Bridge survived more than a century until the 1890s, when engineers devised an improved link that would allow for greater flow of traffic, this was at the time Waverley Train Station was being constructed. 

Construction of the current steel bridge that we know today was completed in 1897 at a cost of £81,000., with the North British Railway Company contributing to a third of the cost.

A plaque recalling the founding and dismantling of the original North Bridge occupies a wall of the present bridge, which has now stood for roughly the same length of time as its predecessor.

The pictures show the evolution of the Nor Loch, I can’t find dates for them all, but you will see  in the first one that the Loch is still not fully drained and very little signs of buildings on the North side, pic two shows buildings where the Balmoral Hotel now sits.

In the third pic there are signs of a Market where we now have Waverley Station, the street and buildings under the far side are now called Market Street. Pic four is dated around 1809, all the buildings you see on the left are now gone. On the top roght corner is what was The North British Train Station, the bottom of the picture you can see what is now known as “The Mound. Next pic is I guess from mid 19th century, still a long way from the construction of Waverley Station. Pic six shows the North Bridge being  dismantling early 1896,  and then   "The Ceremony of Laying the Foundation Stone of the New North Bridge Edinburgh 25th May 1896, leading on to the  commemorative plaque, which is from around the same time.

Finally is a pic of how the North Bridge looks in 2021, not much to see as it is in cladding while a multi-million restoration is taking place, the cost of refurbishing the bridge has soared from £22 million to £36m after the landmark structure was found to be in worse condition than expected. Last October the council issued a statement saying 

“Due to the nature of the construction of the bridge, full access behind the cast iron façade has not been available since it was constructed in 1897 and the last full refurbishment of this nature was in 1933. It has not been possible to properly inspect the hidden structural elements in almost 90 years.”

The briefing said testing had led to the discovery of “extensive issues” with the existing concrete bridge deck constructed in 1933.

[joshjacksons]

Joshua Jackson interview with Refinery29

Against my better judgement, and at the risk of losing any semblance of journalistic objectivity, I start my conversation with Joshua Jackson by effusively telling him what a dream come true it is to be talking to him. See, like many millennial women who grew up watching the late ‘90s and early 2000s teen drama Dawson’s Creek, Jackson’s Pacey Witter means a lot to me. Pacey is one of the rare fictional teen boys of my youth whose adolescent charisma, romantic appeal, and general boyfriend aptitude hold up all these years later (unlike The O.C’s Seth Cohen or Gossip Girl’s Chuck Bass) and that is due in large part to the wit, vulnerability, and care Jackson brought to the character.

It’s the same intention he’s afforded all of his famous roles — Peter Bishop in Fringe, Cole Lockhart in The Affair, and even as a 14-year-old in his first acting gig as sweet-faced heartthrob Charlie Conway in The Mighty Ducks. Now, Jackson, 43, has matured into a solid supporting actor (with memorable turns in Little Fires Everywhere and When They See Us) and as a leading man who can draw you into a story with just his voice (Jackson’s latest project is narrating the psychological thriller and Canadian Audible original, Oracle, one of the over 12,000 titles available today on Audible.ca’s the Plus Catalogue) or find humanity in the most sinister men (he’s currently playing a sociopath with a god complex in Dr. Death). His magnetic pull is as evident as it was when he was the guy you rooted for in a show named after another guy’s creek. Jackson has never seemed to mind the fact that so many people still bring up Pacey decades later, and that’s part of why as an adult, he’s one of the few childhood crushes I still have on a pedestal. I tell him just a tiny slice of this, and Jackson graciously sits up straighter and promises to bring his A-game to our Zoom exchange. Jackson is in what appears to be an office, flanked by mess, like a true work-from-home Dad. He and his wife, fellow actor Jodie Turner-Smith, welcomed a daughter in the early days of the pandemic in 2020, and he tells me that fatherhood and marriage are the best decisions he has ever made. Jackson and Turner-Smith are a rare Hollywood couple who choose to let us in on their love, but not obnoxiously — just through flirty Instagram comments and cheeky tweets. Their pairing is part of Jackson’s enduring appeal. It’s nice to think that Pacey Witter grew up to be a doting dad and adoring husband, even if his wife’s name is Jodie, not Joey.

Jackson is an animated conversationalist, leaning into the camera to emphasize his points — especially when the topic of diversity comes up. White celebs don’t get asked about racism in Hollywood the way their counterparts of colour do, and when they do, they’re usually hesitant at best, and unequipped at worst, to tackle these conversations. Jackson is neither. He’s open, willing, and eager to discuss systemic inequality in the industry he’s grown up in. It’s the bare minimum a straight white man in Hollywood can do, and Jackson seems to know this. When he ventures briefly into trying to explain to me, a Black woman, the perils of being Black, female, and online, he catches himself and jokes that of course, I don’t need him to tell me the racism that happens in the comment section of his wife’s Instagram. The self-deprecating delivery is one I’m familiar with from watching Jackson onscreen for most of my life, and seeing it in person (virtually) renders me almost unable to form sentences. Jackson’s charm is disarming, but his relaxed Canadian energy is so relatable, I manage to maintain my professionalism long enough to get through our conversation. Refinery29: Your voice has been in my head for a few days because I've been listening to Canadian Audible Original, Oracle. What drew you to this project and especially the medium of audio storytelling?

Joshua Jackson: The book itself is such a page turner. I also love the idea of those old radio plays. It's like a hybrid between the beauty of reading a book on the page where your imagination does all of it. We craft a little bit of the world, but because this is a noir thriller married with this metaphysical world, there's a lot of dark and creepy places that your imagination gets to fill in for yourself.

I'm noticing a trend in some of the roles you've been taking on lately, with this and Dr. Death, these stories are very dark and creepy. But so many people still think of you as Pacey Witter, or as Charlie Conway, the prototypical good guys of our youth. Are you deliberately trying to kill Pacey and Charlie?

JJ: I'm not trying to kill anybody — except on screen [laughs]. It's funny, I didn't really think of these two things as companion pieces, but I won't deny that there may be something subconscious in this anxiety, stress-filled year that we've all just had. That may be what I was trying to work out was some of that stress, because that's the beauty of my job. Instead of therapy, I just get someone to pay me to say somebody else's words. So, yeah, that could be a thing [but] the thought process that went into them both was very different. Even though this is a dark story, [lead character, police psychic] Nate Russo is still the hero. [Dr. Death’s] Christopher Duntsch very much is not at all. I can't pretend to know my own mind well enough to be able to tell you exactly how [these two roles] happened, but it happened.

That might be something that you should work through with an actual therapist. JJ: Exactly. Yeah, maybe real therapy is on the docket for me [laughs].

So I was listening to Oracle and you're doing these various creepy voices — I’m sorry the word “creepy” keeps coming up.

JJ: Are you trying to tell me something? You know what? I wanted to skip straight to the creepy old man phase of my career. So, it sounds like I'm doing a good job.

You're doing amazing, sweetie [laughs]. So, I was thinking you must be really good at bedtime stories with your daughter doing all these voices. Or is she still too young for that?

JJ: No! She's all the way into books. Story time is my favourite part of the day because it gives me the opportunity to have that time with her just one-on-one. Her favorite book right now is a book called Bedtime Bonnet. Every night I bring out three books, and she gets to pick one. The other two shift a little bit, but Bedtime Bonnet is every single night.

I love that. Since you're married to a Black woman, you know a thing or two about bonnets. JJ: ​​Yeah, well I'm getting my bonnet education. And I'm getting my silk sheet education. I'm behind the curve, but I'm figuring it out [laughs].

You said in an interview recently that you are now at the age where the best roles for men are. And I wonder if you can expand on that and whether you think of the fact that the same cannot be said for the majority of women actors in their 40s?

JJ: What's great about the age that I'm at now as a man is that, generally speaking, the characters — even if they're not the central character of this show — are well fleshed out. They're being written from a personal perspective, usually from a writer who has enough lived experience and wants to tell the story of a whole character. Whereas when you're younger — and obviously I was very lucky with some of the characters that I was able to play  – you're the son or the boyfriend, or you're a very two-dimensional character. It's gotten better, but still a lot like you're either the precocious child or you're the brooding one. I will say that while I would agree with you to a certain point for women, I think that this is probably the best era to be a not 25-year-old-woman in certainly the entirety of my career. And it is also the best time to be a Black woman inside of the industry. There's still more opportunity for a 40-year-old white man than there is for a 40-year-old white woman, but it is better now than it has ever been. The roles that women are able to inhabit and occupy and the opportunities that are out there have multiplied. If I started my career in playing two-dimensional roles to get the three-dimensional roles, most women started their career in three-dimensional roles and end up at “wife” or “mom.” And that's just not the case anymore. There's just a lot of broadly diverse stories being told that centre women. So you're right, but in the last five years, six years I would say, there has really been a pretty significant shift.

And I think that shift is happening because who's behind the camera is also changing. JJ: Right? Who holds the purse strings. That's big. Who gets to green light the show to begin with? You have to have a variety of different faces inside of that room. And then, who's behind the camera. What is the actual perspective that we're telling the story from? The male gaze thing is very real. Dr. Death had three female directors. The central character of Dr. Death is an outrageously toxic male figure. Who knows more about toxic male BS than women? Particularly women who are in a predominantly male work environment. So these directors had a very specific take and came at it with a clarity that potentially a man wouldn't see, because we have blind spots about ourselves. We're in a space where there's a recognition that we've told a very narrow band of what's available in stories. There's so many stories to be told and it's okay for us to broaden out from another white cop.

I hope that momentum continues. Okay, I have to tell you something: I’m a little obsessed with your wife, Jodie Turner-Smith. JJ: Me too. As you should be! I love how loudly and publicly you both love on each other. But I need you to set the scene for me. When you are leaving flirty Instagram comments, and she's tweeting thirsty things about you, are you in the same room? Do you know that the other one is tweeting? What's happening?

JJ: We're rarely in the same room [writing] the thirsty comments because that usually just gets said to each other. But, look, if either of us misses a comment, you better believe at night, there's a, "Hey, did you see what I wrote?" One, she's very easy to love out loud and two, she's phenomenal. And I have to say, the love and support that is coming my direction has been a revelation in my life. I've said this often, and it just is the truth: If you ever needed to test whether or not you had chosen the right partner in life, just have a baby at the beginning of a pandemic and then spend a year and a half together. And then you know. And then you absolutely know. I didn't get married until fairly late in the game. I didn't have a baby till very late in the game and they're the two best choices I've ever made in my life.

I'm just going to embarrass you now by reading one of Jodie's thirsty comments to you. She tweeted, “Objectifying my husband on the internet is my kink. I thought you guys knew this by now,” with a gif that said "No shame." JJ: [laughs] That sounds about right.

She's not the only one though. There's this whole thirst for Joshua Jackson corner of the internet. And it feels like there's been a bit of a heartthrob resurgence for you now at your big age. How do you feel about that?

JJ: I hadn't really put too much thought into it, but I am happy that my wife is thirsty for me. What about the rest of us? JJ: That's great for y'all, but it's most important that my wife is thirsty for me. Good answer. You're good at this husband thing. You recently revealed that Jodie proposed to you. Then it became this big story, and people were so surprised by it. How did you feel about the response? JJ: Thank you for giving me the opportunity to give context to this story. So I accidentally threw my wife under the bus because that story was told quickly and it didn't give the full context and holy Jesus, the internet is racist and misogynist. So yes, we were in Nicaragua on a beautiful moonlit night, it could not possibly have been more romantic. And yes, my wife did propose to me and yes, I did say yes, but what I didn't say in that interview was there was a caveat, which is that I'm still old school enough that I said, "This is a yes, but you have to give me the opportunity [to do it too]." She has a biological father and a stepdad, who's the man who raised her. [I said], ‘You have to give me the opportunity to ask both of those men for your hand in marriage.’ And then, ‘I would like the opportunity to re-propose those to you and do it the old fashioned way down on bended knee.’ So, that's actually how the story ended up.

So, there were two proposals. I do feel like that is important context. JJ: Yes, two proposals. And also for anybody who is freaked out by a woman claiming her own space, shut the fuck up. Good God, you cannot believe the things people were leaving my wife on Instagram. She did it. I said ‘yes.’ We're happy. That's it. That's all you need to know. That has been a real education for me as a white man, truly. The way people get in her comments and the ignorance and ugliness that comes her way is truly shocking. And it has been a necessary, but an unpleasant education in just the way people relate to Black bodies in general, but Black female bodies in specific. It is not okay. We have a long way to go. Jodie is such an inspiration because it seems like she handles it in stride. She handles it all with humour and with grace. JJ: She does. And look, I think it's like a golden cage, the concept of the strong Black woman. I would wish for my wife that she would not have to rise above with such amazing strength and grace, above the ugliness that people throw at her on a day to day. I am impressed with her that she does it, but I would wish that that would not be the armour that she has to put on every morning to just navigate being alive. That's a word. That's a word, Joshua Jackson.

The 13-year-old in me needs to ask this. We are in the era of reboots. If they touched Dawson's Creek — which is a masterpiece that should not be touched — but if they did, what would you want it to look like? JJ: I think it should look a lot like it looked the first time. To me, what was great about that story was it was set in a not cool place. It wasn't New York, it wasn't LA, it wasn't London. It wasn't like these were kids who were on the cutting edge of culture, but they were kids just dealing with each other and they were also very smart and capable of expressing themselves. It's something that I loved at that age performing it. And I think that is the reason it has lived on.  We have these very reductive ideas of what you're capable of at 16, 17, 18. And my experience of myself at that point was not as a two-dimensional jock or nerd or pretty girl. You are living potentially an even more full life at that point because everything's just so heightened. [Dawson’s Creek] never talked down to the people that it was portraying. That's one of the things that I loved about it as a book nerd growing up. The vocabulary of Dawson's Creek was always above my level and that was refreshing. To go back to the “diversity” conversation, you can't really make a show with six white leads anymore and that’s a good thing. But I also don't know how I feel about taking a thing, rebooting it, and just throwing Black characters in there. 

JJ: I hear that. And there's certain contexts in which it doesn't work unless you're making it a thing about race, right? If you watch Bridgerton, obviously you're living inside of a fantasy world, and so you're bringing Black characters into this traditionally white space and what would historically be a white space. And now you are able to have a conversation about myth-making and inclusion and who gets to say what and who gets to act how. So that's interesting, but I don’t think you’re just throwing in a Black character if you changed Joey to a Black woman [or] Pacey to a Black man. What you're doing is you're enriching the character. Let's say one of those characters is white and one of those characters is Black. Now, there's a whole rich conversation to be had between these two kids, the political times that we live in, the cultural flow that is going through all of us right now. I think that makes a better story. All these conversations around comic books in particular like, "Well, that's a white character." It's like, Man, shut up. What are you talking about? It is a comic book character! Joey and Pacey don't have to be white. Dawson and Jen don't have to be white. And this is what we were talking about a little bit earlier. We get better the broader our perspective is, both as humans, but also in the entertainment industry. So if you went back to a story like [Dawson’s Creek], what was important in that show was class not race, which I think is true for a lot of small Northeastern towns. They are very white. But if you brought race into that as well, you don't diminish the amount of the stories that you can tell. You enrich the tapestry of that show. So I think that would be a great idea.

Make Pacey Witter a Black man in 2021 is what I just heard from you. JJ: Hashtag ‘Make Pacey Witter A Black Man’. There we go!

[land-of-brains-and-chocolate]

here’s the entirety of the paywalled businessinsider article interviewing charles beacham about marvel’s racism in staffing and editorial decisions! 

In the early 2010s, Marvel's comics business focused on a diverse slate of new characters, but by 2017 comic sales had fallen, which resulted in the exit of editor-in-chief Axel Alonso.

Three former Marvel editors and one current editor told Business Insider that in the years since, Marvel has recommitted to nostalgia and classic, mostly white characters, often at the expense of some of those diverse characters like Miles Morales, a biracial teenage Spider-Man.

That shift was guided by an editorial department that lacked diversity, particularly in leadership roles. Today, there are no Black staffers on Marvel's editorial team of about 18 people, and only two people of color, Marvel confirmed.

"My voice and what I brought to the table wasn't valued equally," said Charles Beacham, one of two Black editorial staffers to work at Marvel in the past five years.

Have a tip? Email the author at tclark@businessinsider.com or DM him on Twitter @TravClark2.

Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories.

Miles Morales was the character who pulled Charles Beacham into the world of comics.

Beacham was studying journalism at Brigham Young University, in Utah, when he walked into a comics shop in 2011 and picked up a copy of Morales' first appearance. Beacham, who is Black, said he was amazed to see Morales — a teenage Spider-Man who has a Black father and Puerto Rican mother — in its pages.

"When I was growing up, I always wanted to be the red Power Ranger, and the other kids would say I had to be the black Ranger," Beacham said. "The same thing happened with Spider-Man. They'd say, 'You can't be Spider-Man because Peter Parker's not a Black dude.' Seeing Miles Morales made me wish I had that as a kid."

Morales propelled Beacham into comics and into Marvel itself, where he worked as an assistant editor.

"I didn't have job prospects when I moved to New York in 2013, but the goal was to work for Marvel because of Miles Morales," Beacham said. When he landed a job at the company the next year, he loved it.

But Beacham, now 31, was living in New York City with a child on a $38,000 salary. He said that after three years as an assistant editor, from 2014 to 2017, without a promotion, he was ready to leave. It wasn't about the money as much as the lack of a path forward.

"I thought I'd be at Marvel forever," he said. "If they had promoted me I'd probably still be there and surviving on ramen."

Beacham is one of two Black editorial staffers to have worked at Marvel in the past five years, the company confirmed. The second Black staffer, also an assistant editor, left this year after five years without a promotion or raise, a person familiar with the matter said. The editorial team of about 18 people now has two people of color.

"I want to be back there all the time," Beacham said. "But when it comes down to it, my voice and what I brought to the table wasn't valued equally."

Disney-owned Marvel has grown into a cultural force that extends beyond its comic books and into movies, video games, and other media. The comics are the foundation for it all, including the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which has become the highest-grossing movie franchise of all time.

The stories that Marvel's small editorial team helps shape are central to popular culture in the US and around the world.

"Who works on these stories can help broaden them," said Regine Sawyer, the founder of Women in Comics Collective International, which helps to spotlight the comics work of marginalized people.

That was clear from 2011 to 2017, when Marvel ushered in a new era for its comic books under then editor-in-chief Axel Alonso, who is Mexican American.

New and diverse characters like Morales took center stage instead of Marvel's decades-old classic characters, who were primarily white. These characters inspired new fans like Beacham, and continue to inspire new fans as they make their way to other media.

But by 2017, Marvel's comic sales had fallen. Marvel's president of sales, David Gabriel, publicly blamed it on diversity. Alonso exited the company and was replaced by a white man in the role of top editor. Marvel reversed course.

Now, in the aftermath of the killing of George Floyd and the protests that followed, Marvel is promising to once again introduce more diversity to its ranks and its stories.

Marvel chairman Ike Perlmutter sent a letter to employees on June 18 saying the company would "support more Black voices."

And in a memo to staff sent July 6, Marvel's president, Dan Buckley, outlined three areas of focus for Marvel moving forward:

broaden Marvel's creative landscape, which includes identifying "what has traditionally prevented us in the industry from recruiting and fostering more BIPOC talent."

build a foundation of lasting growth by "examining our internal culture and rebuilding our long-term process for talent recruitment, retention, and outreach to communities of color."

create new initiatives and expansion opportunities by "looking to explore new projects that will enable us to reach and represent an even broader audience."

In addition to Beacham, Business Insider spoke with two former Marvel editors and a current editor. Aside from Beacham, the Marvel insiders spoke on condition of anonymity to protect their stance at the company or job prospects. They said they weren't confident in Marvel's latest initiative.

"The guy who made a commitment to diversity and wanted to try new things was fired," a former Marvel staffer said, referring to Alonso.

'Spider-Man with an asterisk'

Alonso led Marvel through a bold era during his time as editor-in-chief starting in 2011, helping to establish a diverse slate of characters.

Jane Foster was the new Thor. Sam Wilson, aka the Falcon, a Black character, replaced Steve Rogers as Captain America. Riri Williams, a Black girl, was introduced as an Iron Man-like character named Ironheart. Kamala Khan, a Pakistani American Muslim teenager, was the new Ms. Marvel.

It wasn't a new phenomenon in comic books. Characters are regularly passing on their mantles, at least for a while. Dick Grayson, the first Robin, was DC's Batman for a time in the early 2010s, for instance. Sam Wilson wasn't the first person to take over as Captain America. This era at Marvel Comics, however, was notable for how it emphasized diversity.

But by 2017 — Alonso's final year as editor-in-chief — the company's print sales had plummeted (Marvel in 2014 said that Ms. Marvel's solo title was a top seller digitally, but digital comics sales aren't released to the public).

"What we heard is that people didn't want any more diversity," David Gabriel, the vice president of sales at Marvel Entertainment, said that year in an interview with ICv2, a website that covers the comics business.

"I don't know that that's really true, but that's what we saw in sales," Gabriel said. "Any character that was diverse, any character that was new, our female characters, anything that was not a core Marvel character, people were turning their nose up."

What Gabriel meant by "core Marvel character" were the classic, decades-old characters being sidelined for new, younger, and more diverse characters.

Seven months later, in November 2017, Marvel's Alonso stepped down from his role and was replaced by C.B. Cebulski, a white man who faced controversy when he was hired after admitting to writing comics in the early 2000s under a Japanese pseudonym.

"The comics that [Alonso] made me think I could work in comics," Beacham said. "But when a Latinx guy is scapegoated for diversity and replaced by a white dude, and the sentiment was that Marvel was 'getting away from its roots,' what does that mean?"

In a statement after his 2017 comments, Gabriel emphasized that "our new heroes are not going anywhere."

But in the months between that retailer summit and Alonso's exit, Marvel introduced an initiative for editorial staff that had been discussed internally for some time: Phase out the familiar superhero codenames for some newer, diverse characters and give them their own, two former assistant editors including Beacham said.

Marvel confirmed to Business Insider that it had previously considered stripping Morales of his Spider-Man title and giving him a new name, but has no plans to do so right now. Marvel added that it discusses status quo changes for all of its top characters.

Today, some of the classic characters have been thrust back into the spotlight. Steve Rogers has taken back the mantle of Captain America, and Thor is a man again. Miles Morales shares the Spider-Man title with Peter Parker, the original Spider-Man.

Morales has grown in popularity beyond comic books, having starred in Sony's Oscar-winning animated "Into the Spider-Verse" movie in 2018 and in a coming PlayStation video game called "Spider-Man: Miles Morales."

Beacham said he was glad that Morales continued to be a Spider-Man.

"It would have made him less important," Beacham said of Morales' losing the Spider-Man title. "He becomes Spider-Man with an asterisk. It takes away the power for kids who relate to this character."

'There's not a lack of people who can do the work'

Now, Marvel's comic-book slate is once again largely focused on classic characters, though characters like Morales and Khan remain. And there are some comics starring diverse characters from creators of color, like Ta-Nehisi Coates' "Black Panther." But their stories are in the hands of an editorial department run by an establishment of white male leadership.

"There's not a lack of people who can do the work," said Yumy Odom, the founder of the East Coast Black Age of Comics Convention, which helps to showcase the talents of creators of color. "But it's about how receptive the industry is to them. I can think of 20 creators, mostly African Americans, who would be ready to work at Marvel."

Women faced an uphill battle at Marvel as well, the Marvel editors said. A female former assistant editor told Business Insider that she was never promoted or given a raise from her $30,000 salary in her three years at the company. She said she got promoted within a year at her new company, a different comics publisher.

Marvel declined to discuss employee salaries.

The Marvel insiders said a notable exception was Sana Amanat, who is Pakistani American and a former editor. She is now Marvel's head of content and character development, a leadership role outside the editorial department.

'There's a whole cohort of young readers'

Marvel has significantly bounced back from its 2017 sales decline, which might suggest that the refocus on its classic characters reeled longtime readers back.

Of the top 100 best-selling comics of 2020 so far, 69 belonged to Marvel, as of Wednesday, including four of the top five, and the company has accounted for 41% of comic sales this year, according to industry website Comichron. Three years ago, Marvel was lagging behind DC, its biggest competitor.

An example of the start of this resurgence was the first issue of Marvel's "Amazing Spider-Man" relaunch — starring the original Spider-Man, Peter Parker — which ranked fifth in 2018 out of all comics, according to data from Comichron. In contrast, when Marvel launched a series called "Miles Morales Spider-Man" in that year, the debut issue didn't crack the top 200 best-selling comics.

"People of a certain age have a connection with Peter Parker, not Miles Morales," a former Marvel staffer said. "Years from now, that may be different."

The current and former Marvel staffers Business Insider spoke with said they were hopeful that readership could broaden, particularly now that characters such as Morales and Khan are being introduced to audiences in other media like movies and TV. Khan is to appear in a Disney Plus TV series and the upcoming "Avengers" video game, for instance.

There are signs that the comics industry is going through a larger shift in how people read and who is reading, which could also spur change.

Last year, comic sales through the "book channel" — which includes chain and independent book stores and online retailers like Amazon — surpassed comic-book stores for the first time, driven by the increased popularity in children's graphic novels, according to an analysis by ICv2.

Milton Griepp, the chief executive of ICv2, said at the New York Comic Con conference last year that the shift could usher in a new audience for superhero comic books.

"There's a whole cohort of young readers that are being introduced to this medium and may graduate to other forms of content in the comic format over the course of their lifespans," Griepp said.

Beacham said: "Marvel needs to figure out the next stage of its core demographic because it could change rapidly."

[crazy4dragons]

Valentine

A collection of fluffy Hiccstrid Valentine’s Day scenes through the years. Like Heaven AU!

“What’s this?” Astrid narrowed her eyes as she noticed a small gift bag sitting on her desk, accompanied by a big bouquet of white roses.

“It’s my Valentine’s gift to you,” grinned Hiccup. “I don’t have a girlfriend yet, so I figured I might as well buy something special for my best friend.”

A light blush spread across the blonde’s cheeks as she peeked inside the gift bag. Biting her lip, she pulled out a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a handmade card that read:

Astrid,

Seeing your face always brightens my day and you never fail to make me smile. You’re one of my favorite people to hang out with and I’m glad we’re friends.

Be my valentine?

Love,

Hiccup

“Aww.” Astrid smiled. “Of course I’ll be your valentine.” She turned around and tackled her friend with a bear hug.

Returning the embrace, Hiccup pressed a chaste kiss against her cheek. “Thanks, Astrid.”

“No, thank you,” she corrected, pulling apart from him and burying her nose in the roses.

…

“Do you think I should get Astrid a Valentine’s Day gift?” Hiccup asked while studying in his dorm with Fishlegs and Snotlout.

Fishlegs glanced up from his textbook. “I don’t know, Hiccup. What’s the status with you two?”

“What do you mean?” Hiccup raised an eyebrow. “We’re friends.”

“Just friends?” interjected Snotlout. “You don’t like her? Like, like her, like her?”

“Astrid’s been my best friend since we were thirteen,” Hiccup said, avoiding the question. “We practically grew up together. But now she’s kinda seeing someone and I don’t know if giving her a Valentine’s gift will be overstepping.” He let out an exasperated sigh.

“Why don’t you get her a nice card?” suggested Fishlegs. “They make Valentine’s Day cards for friends.”

“Just a card? Don’t you think that feels sort of…well…lame?”

“I’ll tell you what’s lame,” said Snotlout. “Always going over-the-top and trying to make everything a grand gesture. No wonder you’re still single, Hiccup. Everything’s always a production with you.”

“Not helping, Snotlout,” groaned Hiccup. “And for the record, you’re single, too, so do you really have the right to come after me?”

“Shut up, Hiccup.”

Turning to Fishlegs, Hiccup asked, “Do you really think a card is sufficient?”

“Of course. Cards can be very powerful, especially if you write a note inside.”

“If you say so,” concluded Hiccup.

Following Fishlegs’ advice, Hiccup went out in the morning and purchased a card. Inside, he wrote:

Astrid,

I know you have a “real” Valentine this year, but I didn’t want to let Valentine’s Day go by without telling you how amazing you are. Whether we’re in relationships, or single, or just in that awkward in-between phase, you’ll always be my best friend.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love you,

Hiccup

…

Hiccup let out a sigh as he looked at all the open tabs on his internet browser. It was his first Valentine’s Day with Astrid — with her, with her — and he was blanking on gift ideas. It had to be big — bigger than anything he’d done before. After all, she was his girlfriend now.

He’d thought about dinner at a fancy restaurant, but dinner for two at even the third-nicest restaurant in town was well over his budget. He’d thought about chocolate and roses, but he’d gotten her chocolate and roses when they were just friends. He’d thought about concert tickets, but there weren’t any good concerts coming up. He’d even thought about a parakeet, since Astrid had wanted a bird for years, but their apartment didn’t allow pets.

“What are you up to, babe?”

At the sound of Astrid’s voice, Hiccup slammed his laptop shut. “Uh…nothing…just…you know…research.”

“Research?” Crossing her arms over her chest, Astrid raised an eyebrow. “And what exactly is this research for?”

“It’s not what you think,” Hiccup insisted. “I swear, I’d never cheat on you, Astrid.”

“Relax, I know you wouldn’t cheat on me,” laughed Astrid. “Not after waiting years to make me your girlfriend.” She came up behind him and rubbed his shoulders. “Now, if you could take a break from your secret research project for a minute, what kind of lingerie would you like to see me in? For Valentine’s Day.”

Hiccup froze. Here was Astrid, planning to not-so-subtly surprise him in bed, and he couldn’t even come up with a suitable gift for her.

“What?” The blonde wound her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss against his cheek.

“I can’t expect you to wear something sexy for me if I don’t take you on a date first,” Hiccup grinned.  

“It’ll be my treat.” Smirked Astrid. “For both of us, because you know I want to get laid just as much as you do.”

Hiccup chuckled. “Then allow me to treat both of us, too. With a surprise. A surprise for you, not me.”

“Is this surprise part of your secret research project?”

“Maybe.” He sighed. “If I can finish it on time.”

“Babe,” Astrid’s voice was gentle, yet firm. “Don’t stress yourself out. I know you’re a go-big-or-go-home kinda guy, but I’m okay with going home. Home to a nice dinner and a back rub after a long day at work.” She leaned down and rested her chin on his shoulder.

“What do you want me to cook?”

“I’ll let you decide,” she smiled, giving him one last kiss on the cheek before leaving him to brainstorm.

After looking over his shoulder to make sure Astrid was gone, Hiccup grabbed a sheet of paper from his sketchbook and began writing a love note:

Astrid,

I’d ask you to be my Valentine, but I think you’ve already said yes. So instead, let me just tell you how much you mean to me. You’re my best friend, my girlfriend, and my first and last love. I can’t imagine a world without you and I thank the gods for that night we got tipsy enough to hook up. I’m looking forward to a lifetime of making new memories and having more great sex;)

I love you to pieces,

Hiccup❤️

P.S. I’m making BBQ ribs.

…

“Hiccup, what are you doing? You’ve had me standing out in the cold for fifteen minutes now!” Astrid called as she knocked on the door. She thought she would surprise her husband by coming home from work early to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but evidentially, her presence wasn’t welcome.

“You could’ve sat in the car,” Hiccup shouted, sprinkling rose petals onto the bed before rushing to the door and letting Astrid inside. “Gods, you’re freezing!” he exclaimed, pressing a kiss against her lips while helping her out of her coat.

Astrid rolled her eyes. “No kidding,” she muttered. “This surprise better be worth it.”

“It will be. You’ll see.” Grabbing her hand, Hiccup led her to the table, which was set with candles, wine, and a steak and shrimp platter for two. “What do you smell?” he asked.

“Dinner,” Astrid replied.

“Can you be more specific?” chuckled Hiccup.

“For gods sakes, can you just take this blindfold off?”

Hiccup untied the blindfold, allowing his wife to gaze at the freshly prepared table.

Astrid’s heart softened at the sight before her. “Hiccup, how did you find time to do all this?” she asked.

“I took the day off work.”

“You took the whole day off?”

“I’m just a TA. I’m sure no one missed me too much,” he chuckled.

“Don’t say that, babe. I’m sure everyone missed you.” She wound her arms around his neck and pressed a quick kiss against his lips before eying the note beside her glass of wine. “Is that one of your annual love letters?” she asked, kissing him again.

Hiccup grinned. “Why don’t you look at it and find out?”

The blonde picked up the note and read:

Astrid,

Happy Valentine’s Day to my smart, sexy wife who’s finally an official member of the Haddock family! I’m so glad you married me and while not much has changed since the wedding (except your last name), I’m loving every minute of this new chapter in our lives. I can’t wait to grow old with you and celebrate more milestones together.

Forever yours (with love),

Hiccup

As Astrid finished the note, a broad smile crawled over her lips. Putting it back in its original place, she caught Hiccup in a tight embrace and pressed her lips hungrily against his.

“Damn, milady,” he mumbled, gasping for breath as they pulled apart. “Who knew love letters were such a turn-on for you?”

“Only when they come from my husband,” smirked Astrid, leaning in for another kiss.

[taglegend]

Tag Fact #3 -  I’ve come to realize I’ve always been a fan artist more than I thought. so here is a timeline of influences that shaped my childhood to now. from nostalgic times, to sad changes, to great loss, to strange rises to fame and phases, to stepping stones and finally a laughing place. all the things that make up your favorite fan artist Tag.

1. Rayman (bumped into this in the year of 1999) was actually the first fandom (with crossovers) I bumped into when I was 9. although the internet wasn’t available at the time it was still fun to dwell in home amusements. I remember the storylines and the OC’s I made but they’re kind of embarrassing and it’s probably a good thing there was no internet. I’ve done fanart and comic crossovers of Rayman with Calvin and Hobbs and Nights Into Dreams, spinoffs of Sonic the Hedgehog OC’s, Yoshi with Pikachu, and the Pokemon/Digimon craze with OC’s and other Nintendo comic shorts. but the drawings and comics are long gone and disappeared in the garage in a backpack due to suspecting my sister’s dad accidentally throwing them away. years later towards the year 2018 (now 28), we decided to move to North Carolina and it was my chance to find them again. unfortunately the backpack was gone just like I suspected (my main stuff), but for some reason I found my Pokemon/Digimon fanart, a good batch of Super Mario drawings (vaguely remember doing these), my sister’s drawings and some other neighborhood kids’ drawings in a dirty box. I was partially happy I found something at least but it was the backpack I wanted the most. sometimes I regret not looking for the backpack (’cause I was too busy being a kid) but it’s alright, noone needs to see that shit anyway, ha ha. anyways, I recall being a fan of Rayman from 1999 ‘til 2002.

2. Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (bumped into this in the year of 2003) my second fandom I bumped into when I was 12 going on 13. at the time, my sister and I both liked the Sonic The Hedgehog Franchise based on the Battle remake and ended up making our own secret fanart club that consisted of only us two members. she liked Sonic (and that was her boyfriend, ha ha) and I liked Knuckles (and he was my boyfriend, ha ha) and we were crazy in love about Shadow’s backstory. we listened to the game’s soundtracks as we drew fanart and comics after school and man, those were good times. however, as we grew older towards the year of 2005, we ended up having separate rooms and I believe it played a part in disconnecting on the same interest. then one day, I asked her why she wasn’t into Sonic anymore and she replied, “Because I grew up.” I was sad after that and slowly observed that she was influenced by the emo culture and the new friends she’s made. I was the only member of our little club for a little longer...but eventually I moved on too. I still have some surviving fanart we did together but it doesn’t mean shit anymore since she turned out to be an abusive mother from the last I’ve heard of her. 

3. Gorillaz (bumped into this in the year of 2006). as the Sonic years were at its end, I first heard the song “Feel Good Inc” on Music Choice and seeing the first image of them as displayed on this post (except the fan-made background doesn’t count since I can’t find the original artwork). this was my third fandom and later had proper access to the internet to the website I still currently use called DeviantArt. at first I liked 2D but eventually fell for Murdoc and developed a spiritual connection towards the character as obviously seen in my old fanart and rare photos of my devotion shrines on Valentine’s Day and his birthday every year. for the longest time since being a permanent fan from 2006-2017 (11 1/2 years) I had no knowledge that it was a political propaganda band and other realizations I don’t want to talk about. I only followed them because it was a cartoon and not the bullshit behind the musical project. the world I’ve built and support for them for all those 11 1/2 years shattered the fuck out of me and I just wanted to be left alone to find myself again, somehow. activity stopped on all my profiles, the flow of fanart stopped since I now cringe from the fan service and felt I was used for my talent. I didn’t want to be reminded of it all so I took down all my Gorillaz fanart and archived them for old followers’ nostalgia but also in the hopes they’ll be forgotten in my timeline. I ceased to exist in the fandom for huge personal reasons but it’s best to not say why. I know for sure that the fandom wonders what happened but it’s none of their business. THE END.

4. Waluigi (although I knew he’s been around since 2000 during childhood, I took deep interest once I revisited the character again in the year of December 2013). as silly as this sounds, when I revisited him again, the character was so bizarre that I ended up staying up 3 nights and 3 days in a row just looking all over the internet on everything about him and the questionable “hush-hush” absence of a backstory. despite there being no backstory he slowly gained a cult following and in many ways it’s a good thing. however, since the early 2010′s tension has been building up between Nintendo and its fans about him starring in a main game but everyone hasn’t fully gotten it in their heads that it’s not gonna happen. as long as Nintendo is in control of that, the fandom will not win, I’m sorry to say. on the other hand, if it’s going to be this way, then that’s what fanart and comic projects are for. as for me, I am doing my very best to get my comic project “Waluigi Land” going. again, I apologize if it’s taking very long to get Chapter 2 going if you’ve been keeping track but aha moments need to develop before I start permanent drawing (since concepts, character design and storyline needed improvement badly). as of right now I am still a Waluigi fan and I will not quit on him.

5. Turbo from Wreck-It-Ralph (although it debuted in 2012, I watched the movie two years later into the year 2014). for some bizarro reason, I had an unhealthy obsession with this character to the point where I dressed up as him for Halloween 2014. only 2 fanarts of him and the Turbo Twins exist on my profiles, mainly because my mind was more focused on just ‘thinking about him’ or ‘being him’ rather than drawing physical drawings. luckily, this supposed alleged fandom didn’t last long a little after Halloween so I chalk it up as a very short phase. to this day I don’t know what has gotten over me about him. the only thing I can think of now is that I think it’s because the character had yellow eyes and teeth but I don’t know. now that I think of it, that little fucker was ugly as hell and I STILL don’t know what had gotten over me. one day, my brother mentioned what that was about, and I said to him, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

6. Undertale (although it debuted in 2015, I later took interest in it in 2016). It was all about Sans and Papyrus. I couldn’t get enough of the skeleton bros. eventually Toriel and Mettaton EX became my favorites but it took a long time to draw more of all 4 of them because I had other important things to do in my life plus I was still waiting for the next Gorillaz album to revive my imaginative juices (or so I thought). I really want to have this as one of my frequent fandoms but I just don’t have time for it anymore. it’s still in the back of my head to want to draw them but at this point I still have other better interests to be in. and besides, I’m lazy just like Sans.

7. Cuphead (June 28th, 2017 was the official day I called quits on the British-based band Gorillaz due to the bullshit behind it. since that date I was lost, had no inspiration to look forward to and no cartoon guy to make me smile...but lo and behold of the same year, I took an interest in playing the game Cuphead and man...that shit was a frightening exaggerated metaphor for being on that one drug (forgot the name though) and having sex at the same time but man that was the best fun I’ve had in years. I mean, it’s like, enemies are just so happy to murder you and that scared the shit outta me. and the facial exaggeration?....I think I should stop, ha ha. anyways, the Moldenhauers saved my ass from spiraling down, they have no clue. anyways, eventually I became a permanent fan of their work so to ease the hurt and erase my past from the G-fandom I had to re-wire my brain into a different cartoon category that’s a rather more American, so anything Toon related like Roger Rabbit, Felix the Cat or another favorite that’s a western-based cartoon makes me feel better, especially my new man .......King Dice <3 <3<3<3. however, there was something about this new fandom category I still didn’t quite understand until the date March 14th, 2020. I finally understood what it was but I feel I shouldn’t bring it up. anyways, Cuphead and anything western or rubber hose is my last stop in inspiration for the remaining years of my life. many say never say never but I believe I’ve found my laughing place and that’s all that matters.