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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 months ago

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i cant really tell if yuu's involvement in ace's character is more for fanservice reasons or because they really did play a part in his character development.

like in nbc we have malleus choosing to focus on finishing the task at hand as quickly as possible so that they can then find the prefect rather than drop everything there at that moment and prioritizing finding yuu. (iirc) and compared to that we have ace who does put a lot of emphasis on finding yuu especially when no one seems to remember it during the halloween event it feels very traditionally fanservice-y ? and i cant really tell where the line is drawn for ace anymore. and you did mention a lot of other points in another post that you made esp with ace's dream recently dropping and the fact that hes the only guy whos dream yuu was actively involved in idk its a little confusing for me i hope im making sense TT no shade to the shippers im just a little slow in comprehending it all bvbvsjdj

your posts are always really neutral and accurate it just helps to clear up a lot of my confusions and questions i have when playing so thank you for your hard work!

[Referencing this post; you might also find this related post useful in the discussion of Ace and Yuu's relationship!]

DISCLAIMER: I do not mean to invalidate or detract from Ace x Yuu or Malleus x Yuu shippers or anyone who may interpret their relationship as romantic. You should ship what you like and have fun doing it. My reply aims to be more objective, but that should NOT impede on your enjoyment or whatever it is you choose to ship.

iufipaerasfeao Thank you for the feedback! I'm glad you find my posts helpful. I try my best to be objective when it comes to analyzing the story and characters, but there's no true way for someone to be completely neutral. There are definitely times when I have an aside to insert my two cents on a situation or I get super heated about a particular topic. Hopefully I still leave enough space for everyone to come to their own conclusions.

I think it's both fanservice and because Yuu actually plays a big part in Ace's character development? Like, it's technically fanservice but it does not feel egregious because it fits Ace’s teasing nature and Ace's bond with Yuu has been established from the start. He was the first student we met at NRC and we spend so much time with him since then; there's no way Yuu wouldn't have had an impact on him, especially when book 7 is now paralleling the two as people with insecurities about being weak/unable to do anything + not contributing enough and Yuu encouraging him when he finally gets his UM.

I commonly see people joking about Malleus having "missed the meeting about Twst not being a dating sim" and holding him up as "the main love interest". (And to be clear, Twst isn't a dating sim, nor do all Twst fans see the characters romantically; I am only speaking about this in a romantic lens in the context of this post.) However, I think there's a very strong case to be made for Ace as well. The thing is, I also feel that Malleus and Ace fundamentally appeal to two different groups of yumejoshi. Malleus is the tall, dark, and mysterious type you can "fix", the type of guy that would burn the world down for you. Ace is the teasing and approachable boy-next-door that has your back and supports you even when the entire world is against you. This is also evident in the ways they're set up in the main story; Malleus is introduced in a way that encourages much more "filling in of the gaps" due to how little he actually shows up in front of Yuu in the main story. It gives the player a lot of space to imagine what their relationship with him is like because there isn't a ton of interactions in canon to go off of. Meanwhile, Ace has many more canonized interactions with Yuu (eating lunch, doing homework, watching movies, playing video games, etc.), so the effort of thinking about what they actually do over the course of their relationship is already done for you. There is an established friendship and connection with Ace, but you barely see Malleus enough to truly have a strong impact on him or to change him. Does that make sense?

IADUPADF9A9FSBdb I do find it sort of funny that Malleus is basically like, "Oh, something unexpected happened (ie Yuu is missing). We'd better solve this." Not really showing much emotion about them being gone in Nightmare. (Malleus only gets annoyed when Leona begins to take charge; he is not mad at the fact that Yuu is gone.) Meanwhile Yuu is missing in Endless Halloween Night and Ace is the FIRST person to excuse himself to check Ramshackle for them.

If you consult the fandom and the fandom alone, you'd think the situation would be reversed. Edit: Malleus does have his moments of intimacy with Yuu (which I won’t be getting into here because then I fear this post would veer into shipping wars), but the English speaking Twst fandom has a VERY strong bias for Malleus x Yuu. Because of that, there is a tendency to misinterpret or misattribute every little thing that Malleus says and does to support the idea that "Yuu is his most important person". (For example, even though Malleus provides no reaction at all when Skully kisses the back of Yuu's hand, many Malleus fans claimed that he would be very jealous or would harm Skully for doing such a thing. In another Halloween event, Glorious Masquerade, people believed he was angry at Rollo for harming Yuu even though this was not the case; the event states that he was mad because the invitation he had been extended was a fake one.)

It is because of thinking like this that a lot of English speakers genuinely believed Malleus would OB in book 7 in a desperate attempt to prevent Yuu from returning to their original world. Misinterpretations, headcanons, misattributions, and personal projections were conflated with canon, leading to many people to believe that Malleus was closer with Yuu than they actually are. Instead, Malleus ended up OBing because he feared Lilia leaving and he barely even considers Yuu after he OBs. And, ironically, Ace is the character whose dream prominently features Yuu and a scenario in which Yuu doesn't have to leave them forever. It was always Ace that we had a strong relationship with, not Malleus.

Ace is often overlooked even though he has far more canon interactions with Yuu in the main story. I think this could maybe to chalked up to a combination of him being "boring" compared to the literal DARK FAE OP CROWN PRINCE M. Draconia over there and the fact that so many of those "gaps" are already filled by the main story. There's less room for imagination because the game has already defined what Ace and Yuu's relationship entails. Malleus is just so much more appealing when it comes to intrigue and mysteriousness. When you look at it objectively though... Yuu only meets Malleus face-to-face like 5-6 times for brief conversations. (Edit: I’m not counting voice lines because those are arguably directed at the player, not Yuu, to endear the character to you and/or all characters get similar voice line fanservice. The canonicity is questionable since the same familiarity in voice lines is not carried over to the main story.) 5-6 times… That's not nearly long enough to make a huge impact or change in his life (unless you as the player extrapolate and imagine more Malleus and Yuu interactions outside of the ones we see in the main story). At best, I think you could say Malleus is glad he can have a special little friend who doesn't know of his name and status? He doesn't really change because of that relationship though. Malleus doesn't even show up until book 2. But Ace has literally been there since the beginning, canonically spends tons of his free time with Yuu, and has been through several near-life experiences with them (several OBs). He has the chance to bond with Yuu. Malleus does not. (He has given Yuu advice once, sent them a card once, and reassembled a stage for them once; all other interactions in the main story are short talks.)

It makes a lot of sense that Ace would be the one "touched" by Yuu's influence, whether you see it as romantic or platonic. Both he and Malleus (and all the other characters, really) get their moments of fanservice--but very few characters' development is directly impacted by Yuu's presence. Yuu might be there for most of the main story, but they actually get only a few moments to engage with the other boys in the cast to the point of actually changing them. It feels like the changes that occur are more often the result of the other boys (Trey standing up to Riddle and holding his hand afterwards, Epel and Deuce bonding on the beach, the twins telling Azul he's lame but also being the first to check up on him following the OB, Idia finalizing his farewells with Ortho, etc.) Ace just so happens to be an exception to that, as Yuu very clearly plays a big role in his development.

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qiyutism · 2 months ago

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"you became quiet all of a sudden. i'm not used to it."

summary: you had been working late, night after night for weeks now. you don't answer his calls, you give clearly rushed, short responses to his texts. you haven't even stopped by his studio in god knows how long. rafayel cant stand the lack of attention. can't stand being ignored. forgotten. abandoned.

had the bond your two souls share lost all meaning to you?

word count: 3,283 words

content warnings: angst with a happy ending. mentions/fear of abandonment. kissing and implied sex (if you wanna interpret it that way?) but no actual smut.

author's note: this is my first time writing a fic on tumblr! umm this is barely proofread because i'm sleepy asf so apologies for any grammar or spelling mistakes, if i notice any i'll go back and edit them. but yeah, this was all mainly inspired by my own headcanons about rafayel's character and by the in-game dialogue below! please let me know what you think and maybe i'll write more in the future :)

tags: @m00nchildwrites @ghoulishnero <3 !!

heart dividers by @/cafekitsune!

the rain poured down like a waterfall, heavy raindrops hitting against your umbrella as you rushed to your apartment building. it was late at night, with the only thing illuminating the sidewalk at this hour being the flickering street lights and occasional blinding lightning from the storm.

after sprinting your way through the rain, you finally made it safely inside your apartment building. trying to regain your composure you paused for a moment, breath heavy with sheer exhaustion as you closed your dripping umbrella.

you sluggishly began your way to the elevators, wet shoes squeaking along the floors and echoing throughout the quiet lobby. pressing the button to go up, you then stepped back and waited only a few seconds before the elevator doors opened in front of you.

you were thankful that no one else was inside as you pressed your floor number and leaned against the cold wall, closing your eyes and letting out a loud sigh you didn't even know you had been holding in. you remained still, letting your mind and body rest, even for just a moment, before the ding of the elevator brought you back into your body.

you stand up straight and make your way to your apartment door, fishing your keys out of your purse as you get closer. you turn the key in the knob and open the door, quickly ridding yourself of your shoes and almost throwing the rest of your things to the ground. you'll worry about that later.

but right now, you were so incredibly tired.

every muscle in your body ached after weeks of training and battling wanderers nonstop. your head was pounding, as if there was someone inside your head repeatedly beating against your skull.

work had been pushing you especially hard lately, with a sudden increase in wanderer appearances causing hunters in various departments to be stationed around the city to protect citizens, and hopefully find a lead as to what triggered this influx in the first place. over the past month, you had been stationed in several different places around linkon, ordered to eliminate any potential threats to the area and investigate for any clues on what could be causing this.

and even when you weren't stationed out to be constantly battling wanderers, you were at headquarters sorting through mountains and mountains of paperwork. for hours on end, you would do nothing but read and catch up on previous investigations or potential leads that would explain the uptick in wanderers.

and yet, you nor anyone else in your department had seemed to uncover anything.

and for the past few weeks, the stress, skipping meals, and losing sleep had finally begun to catch up to you. when you would eventually be let off work and allowed to go home, you completely shut down. even your closest friends hadn't heard from you in who knows how long. you were always too fatigued to do anything but sleep the moment you stepped through your front door.

even rafayel suffered as a result.

you'll admit, despite everything, you still tried your damn best to reply to his texts and answer his calls when you could. but the frequency of which you two communicated had still been heavily impacted. sometimes, the best you could manage was only a short reply, if only to let him know that you were still alive and breathing at the very least. you hadn't even had the energy (or the time) to pop by his house for a visit.

realizing how bad things had gotten thanks to this increase of demands from work, how horribly you had been neglecting your physical and mental health, how badly you've been neglecting your friendships and relationship, you decided to finally reach out and request for some desperately needed time off. that's all you needed, was time.

some time to sleep in late and be able to wake up and have a calm, slow morning. some time to take a long, hot, relaxing bath to soak the stress and strain out of your poor muscles. some time to eat a big, filling, home cooked meal, a luxury you hadn't allowed yourself lately and instead opting for the convenience of take out meals or junk food snacks and sweets.

you needed time to go over to rafayel's studio and profusely apologize for how distant you had been.

with your thoughts circling back to rafayel yet again, you thought you should check your phone and see if he had sent you his usual stream of texts messages throughout the day. sprawled out across your bed, you slowly reach into your back pocket for your phone and check your notifications for the first time all day.

among the usual system notifications and messages and calls from friends, there was only one person you cared about and were specifically looking for.

30+ unread texts and 10 missed calls just from rafayel alone. you could swear you felt your heart physically break into a million pieces inside your chest seeing the sweet, playful messages slowly turn despondent and sorrowful as the day went on.

goooood morning cutie ♡ i finished another painting last night, reddie thinks u should totallyyy come over later and check it out :P

i went out to the beach today and collected some seashells to make some new paints. i think the hues will be perfect for an old piece i was working on

the hermit crabs outside have begun asking where u've been lately :/

miss bodyguarddd where are uuu :(

you're being quiet again today ...

cutie??

*missed call*

*missed video call*

you stare at the screen for a while, tears threatening to fall from your eyes as guilt digs its claws into your heart. you feel like a horrible partner, with work straining you mentally and physically, you've barely had the time or energy to even talk to your own boyfriend? of all people?

you shake your head, trying to rid yourself of those thoughts as your fingers begin tapping the screen. you're not even completely aware of what exactly you're saying, all you know is that you need to make it up to him.

you have to see him.

your body feels heavy like a sack of bricks, its past midnight, and the storm outside is only just starting to let up. but looking back at this past month, you realize how much you've pretty much neglected rafayel. barely replying to his texts, and if you do its something sent in a fatigued, half-functioning state. you haven't had the time to answer his calls, not wanting him to see you so disheveled and almost on the brink of passing out at work. you damn sure haven't been able to visit his studio with how busy work has kept you.

mustering every last bit of strength in your body, you slowly make your way out of bed and into the shower. you need to at least wash off the day's stress from your body before heading over to his house. though it's nothing compared to soaking in a nice bath, the scalding hot water still does wonders for your body and you certainly feel more refreshed than before.

you slip on some comfortable clothes, just some sweatpants and a hoodie, before putting your shoes on and grabbing your purse from where you left it when you first entered. locking the door behind you, you begin your journey to rafayel's home, on a mission.

you check your phone again, every bone in your body hoping rafayel was even still awake and had replied to your text from before. usually he stays up late, either soaking in his bathtub or pulling an all-nighter on a painting project. so it's a little disheartening when you glance at your phone and see no new notifications from him. this doesn't deter you from your newfound mission, but it does plant a seed of worry that buries its roots deep within your chest.

the rain had thankfully seemed to have briefly paused by the time you arrive at your destination. you stand in front of the gate to mo art studio, that seed of worry already branching out and stretching through your entire body like a full grown tree.

still no text or call from rafayel.

you stand still, frozen in place by a heavy veil of doubt and ...

... fear?

will any amount of groveling and apologizing possibly fix what i've done? fix the pain i've caused him?

you notice your breathing start to grow louder and faster and try your best to calm yourself back down.

you were already here now. there's no going back.

you force yourself to push the gate open, stepping on the stone path towards the front door of his home. you stand there for another moment and decide to knock first.

*knock knock knock*

no answer.

*knock knock knock*

still no answer.

*knock knock knock knock knock knock*

silence.

taking a deep breath, you reach inside your purse and pull out the key rafayel had given you long ago when you two had first met. with shaky hands you insert the key, slowly and quietly letting yourself in.

your eyes almost bulge right out of their sockets at the sight of what you had just walked into.

the living room was a complete mess, as if a hurricane had came and swept through the whole place. paint tubes lay scattered around, various colors leaking from them onto the floor in streaks. paint brushes look like they were thrown against the wall, all laid on the floor in a pile under a big splat of paint made on the wall. canvases, some big or small, some blank or with a few strokes of paints struck across them, lay on the ground in several pieces, as if a wanderer had came and ripped them to shreds. the entire place just look completely unkempt and almost abandoned.

the only source of light allowing you to see anything was the glow of the moon shining through the open windows, faint wind blowing the loose sheer curtains inwards.

"rafayel?" you whisper, unsure if he's even awake or here at all.

you walk through the house, trying your best to remain quiet. as you continue on, you notice that it seems like some paint brushes and canvases and even parts of the walls have been burned? you reach your hand out to touch the scorched pieces, bits of ash and soot marking your fingers black.

this means rafayel was definitely here, but just what the hell happened?

you carefully step over and around all the mess, making your way through the home when you hear what you think is someone ... mumbling?

sounds like it's coming from his bedroom.

the door to his bedroom is slightly ajar, and before you make your presence known, you lean in and try to hear what's going on inside.

"she's gone. she's never coming back, and it's all my fault."

you immediately recognize the voice, and it's as if your heart was just ripped out of your chest and ripped to shreds.

"was i too clingy? did she feel suffocated by me? did i take my teasing too far? god, i fucked it up again, i can't lose her ..."

you feel tears start to pool in your eyes again, only this time its impossible to stop them from falling. one after another, the more you hear him spew on about what he must have done to drive you away, the more the tears flow down your cheeks like rivers.

in the midst of your breakdown, before you even realize, you instinctively let out a light sniffle. you were quiet, but the silence of the rest of the house only echoed the small sound even more. you heard what sounded like blankets shift before a small, weak voice spoke out.

"is someone there?" he mutters, his voice slightly shaky as if he had been crying as well.

you close your eyes and inhale, a sorry attempt to pull yourself together, knowing you had been caught. you slowly push the door open with a creak and reveal yourself to see rafayel, buried so deep under the covers that only his peeking head is visible. his hair is completely unkempt, as if he hasn't bothered to maintain it in who knows how long. as you slowly step closer you see his tear stained cheeks, the sight tugging at your heartstrings.

he looks like a shell of the rafayel you've always known. the rafayel you've known always had a mischievous grin on his face, like he had a trick up his sleeve waiting for you. the rafayel you've known always had a certain light, or twinkle in his eyes that brought him to life. the rafayel you've known always carried himself in a somewhat carefree and lackadaisical manner that made him honestly quite the joy to be around.

the rafayel cocooned in bed in front of you has lost that playful grin. his eyes as dark as the deep sea, and his carefree attitude has been replaced by a thick air around him akin to mourning.

you stand there, inches away from the bed, the two of you remaining in silence for what seemed like an eternity.

rafayel locked his eyes on you, a mixture of emotions evident in his eyes that he didn't even bother to try and hide. hurt, pain, disbelief, devotion. you could tell even he didn't know what exactly he was feeling right now. so you decided to take this moment of silence to speak first.

“rafayel i–”

you stopped, but your mouth remained opened, as if you were waiting for the rest of your words to load in your brain. and when they didn't, you could only find yourself beginning to sob yet again. your legs felt too weak to support you anymore, your entire body completely overcome with emotion as you sunk to the floor. you held your head in your hands as you simply let your tears flow like a faucet.

“rafayel i’m so sorry!” you began, shoulders rising and falling as you continued weeping.

“i got completely overwhelmed with work lately and everything has just been so stressful! i barely eat and i barely sleep anymore because work has kept me so busy and i’ve just been so tired every day!” you cry out, spilling your emotions out like a dam burst.

you paused for a quick moment just to catch your breath, the tears still not stopping.

“i’ve been wrapped up with work and haven't been able to be here for you and you have every right to be furious with me but please believe me rafayel, you’ve done nothing and could never do anything to ever make me hate you!”

you’re practically yelling at this point, trying your best to sound as sincere and truthful as possible to get him to believe you. you just can't stand to see him like this, it pains you to see the one person you love the most in this world convinced so deeply that you’ve fallen out of love with him.

when that's the absolute farthest thing from the truth.

you both sit in a tense silence for a few moments, your words repeating over and over again in rafayel’s mind. minutes pass and your sobbing finally seems to be coming to an end as you wipe your eyes with your damp hoodie sleeves.

the sound of your sniffles and choked, shaky breaths are muffled by the sound of blankets shifting around on the bed from above. you look up and watch as rafayel joins you on the floor, sitting only an arm’s length in front of you.

“do you still love me?” he whispers, so softly as if someone else could be listening in on you.

“with all my heart, rafayel.” you respond without a second thought, looking him directly in his eyes.

he takes a moment to gather his thoughts, looking off into the distance of the room as he then continues speaking.

“this past month, you became quiet all of a sudden. i’m not used to it. you stopped replying to my texts, stopped answering my calls. you wouldn't even come over to see me anymore. i thought i had done something wrong, that i must have hurt you. i really thought i had lost you, forever.”

his words grow softer and softer as he continues, almost fading out towards the end. he’s still unable to look you in the eyes as he attempts to put all of his racing thoughts into coherent sentences.

“i’m terrified of you losing you. of being abandoned by you.” he finally makes direct eye contact. “even the thought of it is enough to make me sick. when that terrifying thought seemed like it was becoming my reality, i lost control.”

you remember the current state that his home and studio is in. the paint splattered all across the floors and walls, paintbrushes thrown across the room, scorched pieces of the walls from his fire evol. he really did lose himself, because he thought i had left him for good.

he grows quiet again, fading out the last part of his sentence, but you’re latched onto his every word like a man dying of thirst reaching for water. you hear every word that leaves his mouth, as much as it still pains you to hear. it hurts you to hear just how horrible he’d felt this entire time.

you slowly reach for his hand, giving him time to reject your touch if he wasn't ready.

but he doesn't.

you grab his hand, intertwining your fingers with his and feeling the warmth from his palm envelop yours. he looks at you, the numerous emotions displayed in his eyes slowly melting into one.

love.

“rafayel, you will never lose me. and i promise you that. i’m yours, in this lifetime and the next. forever.”

the two of you remain still, hands intertwined, eyes locked on one another. rafayel is the first to move.

he lets go of your hand, instead moving both of his to cup your face and watches as shock momentarily washes over your face. you swear you see a glimpse of that mischievous grin return to his face before he leans in and locks his lips on yours.

you’re briefly caught off guard, but you quickly come to your senses and return the kiss with everything you have in you. your hands find their way to his hair, gripping it tightly and earning the tiniest of moans from his mouth.

time seems to stop as the two of you bask in each other's embrace. you're the first to pull away, only for the sole reason of needing air to continue the kiss.

as you breathe air back into your lungs, rafayel speaks, voice low and soft.

“tell me you love me.”

a small smile finds its way on your face, happy to do anything he asks for.

“i love you rafayel.” you say, planting a kiss on the mole under his eye.

you can tell that a light blush creeps its way onto his face, even in the dim moonlight that intrudes through his large bedroom windows.

“say it again.” he says, voice still low as a whisper.

“i love you rafayel.” you plant another kiss on the right on his nose, watching his blush intensify even more.

finally, he reconnects his lips with yours yet again, this time pulling you close into his lap, wanting to feel your body close and pressed up against his.

and when he kisses you, he devotes the entire ocean to his beloved.

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel love and deepspace #rafayel x reader #lads rafayel #love and deep space rafayel #rafayel x mc #rafayel edit #rafayel x y/n #rafayel x you

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sans-enjoyer · 8 months ago

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Inanimate Insanity Episode 16 Spoilers!!!!

its been like, two days since episode 16, and people are already arguing about Mephone's age. He is a child, and this didnt come out of nowhere guys, he's always BEEN a child:

^post from 2018!! 5 YEARS ago!

^Brian reposting art (amazing art btw<3) where Mephone is described as a CHILD and drawing in a childish way.

^Brian saying that Mephone is so young he doesn't even know how to SPELL.

Now; heres some stuff ive been hearing in argument against him being a child.

"Cobs is infantilizing him." I agree with this to a certain extent, he is acting like Mephone is a child who cant comprehend anything like an abusive parent. but thats where it stops. Children can ALSO be infantlized! But aside from that, Cobs even says; "I forgot how young you are!" Parents don't say that to their adult children, because it makes no sense unless Mephone is a child.

Secondly, why would Brian and Justin be doing the same thing? They say he's young!

"He has an adult voice." Robots don't hit puberty! This means nothing. Unless youre saying that the creators implied hes an adult because hes voiced by an adult, well i'll have to refer you to the images above.

"He hosts an entire show." Arguably not very well, also again, he's a robot, and also, theyre on an island! its not like you need a permit to film on a random island in god knows where. Any child can "host" a show if they have enough determination, general knowledge of how they work, and equipment, and would you know it Mephone has all three! He knows how they work because he watched them in meeple, and he can generate any equipment he needs.

"He's a robot, he doesn't have an age." True..? sort of...? But the thing is, being legally defined as a child is based off your mental capacity. Children arent as mentally/emotionally intelligent as grown adults, because they don't have the life experience nor the capacity to be. Mephone barely has ANY life experience, he grew up in Meeple, and then started the show immediately after leaving. And obviously, in Inanimate Insanity (and all object shows), robots are almost always sentient beings, unlike real life.

"He's much more mature than a child, especially one that couldn't spell." Debatable! First of all, he thinks things like 'going to jail for one day' and 'the calm down corner' are terrible punishments, like children. If you tell a child to go sit on the stairs for 5 minutes and frame it as a punishment, they will take it as serious as anything else. Secondly, he literally decided to make a random species of bat.. things? fight to the death because they ate his four month old ice cream. No mature person would do that... Thirdly, abused children ACT more mature than others because they HAVE to be. Abused children are not ALLOWED to act like children. They have to be mature for themselves because who else is going to be? Who else is going to take care of you when your parent doesn't? But that doesn't mean they arent still a child.

So now we tread into questionable territory. Is it okay to deny the idea that he is a child at all costs, just so you can ship him or sexualize him? There is really no other reason why you would deny that he is a child.

Now obviously; lets not harass anyone who has drawn ship art of him or sexualized him in the past. This stuff was not commonly known, most people thought he was an adult. But if you look deeper, he isn't.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk, if anyone reads this far (￣^￣)ゞI know I usually only post art, but this is an important topic to me as i am very hyperfixated on Mephone4 i swear i can't control it guys!!

Feel free to make any counter points, im open to discussion, but i am also very set on this opinion. Have a good day everyone!!☆

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coriphallus · 5 months ago

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DA: The Veilguard Spoiler review pt2 - The Grime

this is a hard one to tackle without strawmaning anyone because itll be a direct response to alot of defense ive seen for the games morality system so ill just start by saying, iykyk

never a genre has been better equipped to discuss ethics than the interactive medium of games and yes, bioware games have been doing it since baldurs gate and no, theyve not always been 'centrist' and 'conservative'. im not even gonna entertain that idea. do you remember the cultural landscape DA:O released to? the landscape it was developed in? dont give me that just because zevran doesnt write in his little notes -that you can conveniently read- 'gay good. not me but me bisexual'

Thedas is a flawed world and its a world thats just as desperate to hang on to its status quo as our own. every time you play an elf thats thriving, or a human thats queer, or a mage thats not institutionalised you exist in a world that doesnt want you, it is an act of defiance that you do.

im sure we can all see why these games were so popular with the audience they can only weakly try to pander to today.

derailing time again; so one of my favourite paintings of all time is saturn devouring his son. it makes me feel so uncomfortable that it gave me nightmares as a child, and i still cant look at it without feeling this knot in my throat. i hate it. i hate how it makes me feel, how that man looks at me in terror like its begging me for help while cannibalising another. weird story but i was bewitched by that painting as a little kid.

it is not a well drawn painting, the proportions are all over the place, brush strokes crude and inelegant. it doesnt even have a deeper story nor was it intended for an audience. i will never know what goya thought of when drawing it.

i thought alot about that painting later in my life when i was struggling with mental health problems, i thought about goya alot too as an adult and after learning about his life. i stared at his paintings and remembered when i told my dad that i hated [saturns] big eyes and hed jokingly said "it would be scarier if he didnt have eyes"

i know what the drawing looks like now, nearly everyone with a little access to the internet does. if somebody removed saturn from it, we'd still be left with a brutalised headless carcass of a man in a canvas too big for itself. if we removed that too all we'd be left with would be void.

i dont want to live in a world where all i know of goya is his rococo work, i dont want to stare at the painting of a void knowing what filled it before. i hated every second of germinale but i never wanted it to be anything other than itself, the story it tells could never hold credence otherwise.

DAV has done its best to paint over it, but its still on the old canvas and i cant look away from the negative space its left, i know whats under it and it unsettles me, infuriates me. it hands me a palette with baby blues and pinks and tells me to paint over it to make a prettier painting. didnt i hate the eyes? wasnt it gross before?

i am not going to write why we need some grime in art, but its absence is disheartening. and to those who say hanged people in the streets or blighted villagers is dark and mature ill say no. its a kids idea of maturity, its the aesthetic of it with no substance. it means nothing to me if rook can just drench themselves in gallons of blight as they crawl through it. the horror of blight has never been the black goo and slimy tentacles, or the monster woman with way too many tits. it is watching people you love slowly fade away, it is a woman who was forced to cannibalise the contaminated flesh of her friends because the woman she loved betrayed her, it was the sheer scale and inevitability of it.

one area we go to is overrun by it and the game begs me to feel hopeful that flowers are growing again when it never let me lose hope. people have already prevailed, they have roofs over their heads and a steady supply of food on their tables. their spirit is unwavering.

its bad, everybody says. the sky is grey and soil is blackened, as my rook turns some statues to access a haunted house whos inhabitants are long gone and the only story they could ever tell is gone with them.

if the question is do i want to see famine? plague? misery? abuse? assault? the answer is yes. yes. i want to see it all of the filth. i rather face the fucking monster head on with its big bulging eyes and misshapen limbs than stare at the abyss its absence leaves on the canvas.

and if nothing else, this bastardization is disrespectful to the people who gave the IP its fame.

Why choose to be good?

back in the bsn days ive wondered why, even in a fictional universe where your choices have no real-life repercussions what-so-ever, players had more 'good' playthroughts than 'bad'?

what happens when you start killing NPCs, when youre needlessly mean to them? the game actively closes off its own content. you get less out of the game. just as, completely incidentally, you'd get less out of your life if you just started killing everyone around you. The world would be emptier, youd be alone.

in that quote i stole from good place chidi doesnt ask "why be good?" the wording is painfully deliberate. doing good is always a choice, and often not the easy one. what makes the act matter is that you chose to do it, even when given 6 other options not to. did i stop in the middle of an important quest to help a man retrieve an heirloom from a darkspawn infested hut? did i hear what that heirloom meant to him?

i cant stop thinking about that speech ever since playing this game after knowing its predecessors.

So, why do it then? Why choose to be good, every day, if there is no guaranteed reward we can count on, now or in the afterlife? I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.

i cant stop looking at this game that spits on its own legacy and think how could they have missed what fundamentally makes us human so bad, what makes us relate and empathise with eachother. what makes us pick the option to interact with an npc who openly hates what hawke is, and allow us to see the traumatised man underneath.

these characters of fiction are written by real people. i have absolutely nothing in common with a guy from canada yet for a brief moment in time i feel a sense of camaraderie as ive felt with goya that i couldnt articulate as a kid.

Nothing too terrible

DAV says it over and over again -as its wont to do with every piece of its flimsy morality- that people can change, people can be redeemed yet it shines as the game with most static characters in its franchise. it simply says things, and since it has nothing to show for it it makes sure to say it repeatedly, in case you missed it.

so when i first played DAO i was in high school, i started with a human noble because fresh out of dark side edgy kotor fame i wanted to be a posh brat. also because, ya kno, we were poor my entire life up until that point and i wanted to have power.

i committed to it, even as the game stripped cousland of everything he had, because i thought a man like him would. i picked the racist options, the sexist options, the options a man in couslands place would. halfway point of the game as i exhausted the initial dialogues something happened; this man who got paid to kill people, who showed no remorse nor care for his victims, begged my cousland to stil his blade.

and i did. i thought maybe he would be as confused as i was, maybe he had a moment of clarity but from thereon bit by bit he was less of an asshole. the characters grew around me, and my character grew around them. i chose to be good because -textually- we were in this together, at the end of all things.

rook is not a character, theyre a mascot. and quite frankly i think they may be a very evangelical mascot because they remind me of evangelical preachings of jesus more than the man from the bible (and i say this as someone whos only exposure to christianity has been through foreign media and the bible ive read that one time). they are the epitome of do no evil and their existence hinges on the frail concept of moral purity. theyre not a person trying to do good, who wants to be good, they are 'good'

-and lemme tell you its a wild choice to have someone like that locked in a prison of 'regret'-

rook can be mean to only one person in the game, and thats someone they dont even have a personal beef with for the most part. but even then they would be shouting at a wall because the game doesnt only undermine them with its narrative, but also every npc in the game suddenly gets possessed by the ghost of wattpad rejects past for a moment to tell them everyone can be redeemed. and i believe it because i played the other games, i believe it because i know zevran and sten and morrigan, isabela and thom and iron bull and dorian. i know it because i can see the vague shapes behind the new coat of paint but i am not rook.

so no, the game fails to get people-can-change points by its own merit, and it cannot gain points from its prequels because it destroyed them. none of those characters i watched grow exist in this universe. zevran cant exist with DAV crows, fenris` story cant exist in an imperium with invisible slaves only glimpsed through empty cages and broken chains left scattered on the ground. i dont know which morrigan this NPC is, is it the woman who grew to learn kindness, who begged to sleep with her friend just to save them despite knowing it would play into the plans of a destiny she so desperately tried to break free from? or is she the clever puppet her mother groomed her to be who wanted to harness the power of a god? i dont know her, i dont know this dorian or this isabela beyond their names ipso facto this is not a sequel.

bellara asks an assassin why he is trying to save the world and his answer is "ive done some things in the past im not too proud of. nothing too terrible, but some of it was bad." and i can hear the games desperation for me to not engage with its material in that 'nothing too terrible'

lucanis never killed anyone innocent, taash never harmed an animal they could shoo of or reason with, emmrich venerates the dead and is friends with every wisp he pulls to use in menial labour, davrin joined the wardens willingly because he wanted to do good...

rook tells harding that her anger is justified when shes not even allowed anger of her own.

nothing too terrible.

aside from creating boring and nonsensical and static characters it creates a dreadful echochamber that we're forced to sustain. No taash is not valid, their gender is but their behaviour is not and for the character to grow and mature it needs to be addressed. lucanis doesnt need to be pampered in shock blankets he needs to see how repressing his problems and jeopardising his health puts people around him in danger etc etc. they are adults and they need to learn more complex ways of healing. and if rooks flaw is that theyre an enabler, then that needs to be acknowledged by the narrative in some way too, and not mindlessly endorsed because they say some buzzwords.

none of these interpersonal relationships feels real because none of these people feel real beyond some draft of themes and tropes. some interactions literally remind me of two bots in facebook comments

i look at this dialogue wheel with familiar symbols and all im reminded of is hawke telling carver he carries every death with him, of him telling his uncle that he wasnt fast enough, of him begging the person he loves to tell him that his mothers death wasnt his fault.

and they dont. they just sit there with him.

#veilguard critical #da:tv spoilers #bioware critical #personal #long post

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fuyuu-chan · 10 months ago

Text

Jealousy, Jealousy

Pairing: Sylus x Reader

Warning: OOC (this was made pre-release of Sylus) not proofread

Fuyuu-chan: Some thoughts about how you and sylus react when someone else flirts to the other

✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

~You getting jealous~

You know with just his looks alone he already has a lot of girls around him. Fonding and admiring him. Some girls just do it from a far but this time...one of them actually had the guts to go to sylus and try to flirt with him. You were actually walking in front of him excited to go to your next destination but you heard someone approached him so you looked back and thats when you saw the girl walked up to him.

If only she knew his personality. You do give a point for her braveness and boldness. But oh well, he's already taken. You shake your head, feeling sorry for the girl. But when you looked back at her and sylus. They way she still tries to flirt with your man even do he already dismiss it in a "polite way."

The way she twirls her hair and blinks at him, you're cringing but to be honest you feel a tug of jealosuy, cause you're the only who flirts with sylus.

Sylus who sense your stare, immediately dismiss and glared at the girl "cant you understand? I already said no" he says coldly as he immediately approached you and put his hand on your waist as he continue to lead the way making you look away from the girl and look at him.

"You know, i can sense your jealousy from there, your stare already screams it" he tease as he glance at you smirking.

You looked away from him. "no im not" you defend.

"Oh really? So you dont mind someone flirting with me?" He asks and you frowned. "I mind, im the only who can flirt with you" you said.

"So you're jealous, just admit it" sylus says as you roll your eyes playfully. "Okay fine..."

He smiles and looks at you. "Thank you...but seriously no need to be jealous you know i wouldnt let anyone replace you, nor would i entertain someone when i already have the most gorgeous person in the world"

"Thats cringe" you comment even though your cheeks got tinted red to what he said. "But you like it" he adds. "Anyway, if that really upsets you, i could-" "no dont do that, dont do anything to them, im okay" you cut him off, knowing what he would say.

He merely chuckles at that.

(⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

~Sylus getting jealous~

This man wouldnt get jealous easily and its also hard to make him jealous, he wouldnt get jealous to just some random guy who wants your number because they found you beautiful. I believe Sylus would just chuckle watching them shoot their shot only for them to get rejected by you.

Though....its a different story when he sense that a guy could be a threat. Thats when he will step in or take action. First he would glare at the person. Dude his aura alreadys screams danger. If that guy still wont budge then he better enjoy this day as this would be the last time he would see the light of day.

Sylus would go beside you taking your hand while staring at the guy infront. "Do you know this person (nickname)?" He ask as he glance at you. You shake your head as you look at him and back at the guy.

"Well then, i apologize but you're disturbing our time together, and as she says earlier, she's taken, so please step out of the way and dont push yourself when theres no space for you" he says as he glares at the guy and lead you away from that place. Sylus will make sure he would deal with that guy later tonight.

"Umm what was that?" You asked. "What?" He immeadiately responds.

"Are you angry?" You said a bit surprised, normally he had his composure in check but his tone while he said that to the guy was dangerous. It literally sent a shiver down your spine, so what more about that guy? Poor him.

"Im pissed. I mean you already said no, does he think he have a chance? Does he think he could replace me? Never." He says as he finally stop walking and face you. "He thinks he would have space when i already taken all of the space in your heart"

You chuckled at his jealousy. "Why are laughing at me?" He asks. "You're just sooo cutee" you coo making him pout. "Im not cute" "yes you are" "im not" "yes you are~" you said as you tiptoe and peck his cheek making him freeze and look at you a bit shock.

You chuckled once again before you start walking, leaving him a few steps behind. Sylus watch you hop on your steps before catching up on you.

ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

Please do not copy, translate, repost to any other social media, Thank you

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mischiefmaker615 · 1 month ago

Text

St Patrick’s Day

Rating: PG14 Summary: Loki's still new at learning Midgardian holidays and this one is probably his least favorite so far. Note: Happy (Early) St. Patrick's Day! XD wear green! at least do it for Loki ;)

The sound of the door practically being ripped open startles you where you almost drop your book, clutching it to your chest while you sit up on the couch for Loki to storm in.

‘’I try to understand and adapt Y/N but your Midgardian traditions get utterly more stupid the further we move into the new year.’’ Loki grumbled, clearly unhappy while his chest heaves to calm down within his sexy, tight black t-shirt. The jeans were enough to cause a distraction as well if you hadn’t pulled yourself together to help calm your boyfriend.

‘’I think everyone has their fair share in strange traditions..’’ you risk saying, having to at least make the tiny attempt to depend your planet’s honor while he plops down on the couch next to you, making you lift off the cushion briefly before you quickly set down the book on the table. ‘’it’s all a matter of getting used to them and deciding which ones to ignore, and which ones to care about. -like Christmas! You seemed to enjoy that one-‘’ you encouraged while he crossed his arms and looked at you with a deadpan expression.

‘’your Christmas holiday didn’t have nearly as much trouble other than the room convenience with the gifts and most people’s money accounts being drained. Though I would dare say that decision is on them.’’

‘’we just get ahead of ourselves sometimes in the time of gift giving, we don’t look at the money numbers’’ you shrug sheepishly and try not to shudder at your lost amount that past holiday- at least everyone was happy.

‘’so what exactly has you all riled up-‘’ you begin, your eyes turning to concern while you place a hand on his bicep to unfold his arms, only to have him flinch back and you instantly raised your hands in a surrender position. ‘’sorry-‘’ you said, a bit to sarcastically as if he were a kid throwing a tantrum but he was quicker to turn his body towards you with the shake of his head.

‘’no no darling- it’s not you.. I’m just a bit sore here and there..’’ he said a little quietly, not liking to admit such things while he took your hands in his to reassure you.

You raised a brow and looked him over. ‘’training was yesterday and you won most matches- how could you be possibly so-‘’

‘’it’s not that love.. your.. Midgardian holiday is what did it.’’ He said, his tone a bit sharper at the mere thought of it.

Furrowing your brows, you searched off into the room in thought before you freed one of your hands to pull out your phone. Opening up the calendar, you read what was today before you began laughing.

‘’you mean St. Patrick’s day??”

‘’and by gods if he is still alive, he will severely pay for what years of torment he puts people things each year.’’ Loki threatened, looking back at the room as if in search of him right then and there before you set your phone aside and leaned back on the couch with a grin.

‘’he’s not necessarily the culprit Loki.’’

Raising a brow at you, his body tenses as if there were a new threat in the tower and noticeably tightens his grip on your hand protectfully. ‘’I’m quite positive Stark wasn’t jesting this time about today..’’

‘’he wasn’t, it’s an actual holiday. To be honest, I don’t quite understand it myself nor do I really do anything on this day- not to say it isn’t important.’’ You start and rest your chin on your hand in thought. ‘’I’ll show you google again later.. I think St. Patrick was a religious man and got famous for that.. some people made up a tradition on this day for some reason that if you aren’t wearing green, you get pinched.’’

Loki looked even more bothered and confused. ‘’why is that?”

“there’s these creatures called leprechauns in folk lore that cant see anyone wearing green. Like.. they’re invisible or something. If they can see you, they cause mischief by pinching you.’’ You said almost in a voice like you were teasing a kid through a spooky story.

Loki’s deadpan expression said it all. ‘’that is quite a load of bullshit and I find highly offensive for those who are more experiences in the art of mischief.’’

‘’least I know your caught up on your Midgardian cusswords.’’ You half chuckle before scooting closer so you could lean against him, feeling his body instantly relax while he shifts a bit for a better cuddling position. ‘’whether it’s real or not, I don’t know. I suppose people just find any excuse to have fun.’’

‘’getting pinched is not fun, and I think everyone encouraging me to expand my wardrobe on this realm was just a trick to lead up to this event.’’ He grumbled.

‘’some of us just forget about some holidays- people usually spend most of their attention on the big ones like Halloween and Christmas.. at least you know now..’’ you offer sheepishly and heard him huff under his breath while you look up at him. ‘’who pinched you anyway?”

‘’Thor.’’

You cringe at the thought. No wonder it was more painful.. ‘’well he has currently a fresh memory cause he’s in the process too. He hasn’t forgotten those small holidays yet..’’

‘’apparently he didn’t know it was only requiring one pinch.’’ Loki grumbled and shifted you a little so he could wrap more of his arms around you.

‘’well.. he’s dumb. Respectfully. He does research, but doesn’t read it all the way.’’

‘’some things haven’t changed, regardless of what realm that oaf finds himself one.’’ Loki shakes his head and rests his chin comfortably on top of your head while you smile and close your eyes.

It was normally both of your pass times anyway, being together like this. You just felt bad he got the short end of the stick when it came to knowledge like that. So your mind began to drift off to things you’d try to warm him about so another situation like this wouldn’t happen again. Just as you almost drifted off to sleep in the process, you felt something hard poking you in the back that made you open your eyes and squeeze your legs from the beginning pressure that began to build.

‘’you know darling..’’ he began, his voice noticeably more husky while he shifted his arms a bit so his hands began to move to your breasts. ‘’you’re not wearing green either..’’

Your cheeks began to redden at his touch- never tiring of it even if he seemed to do this fifty thousand times a day while the throbbing between your legs began to get more noticeable. Just as his words finally registered, your eyes widened and moved to slow to grab his wrists.

‘’and I know exactly where to pinch-‘’

Holiday(s): "Valentine's Day"

Tag List: @foxherder13 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz @nervouseden @kathren1sky-blog @eleniblue @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @queenofstarsign85 @slytherinqueen4life @soulpiercing @westwindrhapsody @lulubelle814

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4pfsukuna · 7 months ago

Note

Hellooo, lowk imagine a jealous sukuna x reader fic where he bottles his true feelings for her. That leads to an argument which then leads to reader storming out and meeting w/ her friends to have them dress up as a guy and pretend their her new hook up or smth 😭😭

Debrief: Sukuna would rather die than talk about feelings but you do that thing (exist) that he likes and he cant help himself (crash out)

4868 words.

If someone asked Sukuna how he felt about you he’d say you were just best friends. He’d actually talk so much shit that it could be the fic itself.

But if you were to ask anyone else how they think he felt about you? The majority answer would be ‘down bad’ followed by ‘obsessed’ followed by ‘unhinged’.

Gojo mutters something about pussy whipped.

“And they were roommates” you finish off before placing the cherry red lollipop back in your mouth as you lift the opposite arm to touch the ceiling. Yes the ceiling someway somehow you had convinced the pink haired brute to carry you around on his shoulders something about wanting to know what it fealt like to be his height.

“You're such a nosy brat y’know?” He keeps walking around, switch in hand looking so tiny since his palms are so huge. He was playing the sims and just put one with pink hair and no tattoos in the pool and took the ladder out. You lean down with your pink dyed hair covering his view wobbling slightly but he's quick to steady you.

Before you can retaliate his brothers Choso and Yuji are walking into his apartment not phased at all by the scene except Yuki, chosos girlfriend who definitely is shocked.

You greet them all while Sukuna glares at them not wanting to hear anything not even see the knowing smirks on their face.

The second time they walk in on the two of you your head is in sukunas lap your body elongated on the couch as you scold him for being mean to some of his employees at the tattoo shop. Hes barely listening though your slender fingers tracing his tattoos especially the ones on his bare chest.

These were the perks of best friend privileges, you could do absolutely anything you wanted to him and hed just let you. Hed glare at you with that look of annoyance and call you a brat but he did that when he was happy too so you brush it off as nothing more than his default.

He would never admit it but he likes when you dote on hin like this, likes that youre bossy and commanding you never ask him to do anything you tell him. For someone half his size you surely do think you have alot of power of him(you do). He likes the way your body feels against him too because to you the Y in Your space was silent not that he minded your excuse being hes so huge and takes up so much space.

The curves on your body drove him wild especially when you placed himself in his lap, your plush ass sitting right on his dick and if he even looked down he’d have a perfect view of your breast that’s always on display in the low cut shirts you wore.

“Are you even listening?” Your voice pulls his attention as you give him a slight glare, hand wrapping around his bicep… well the part your hand could fit around.

“No” he smirks the clouded over look in his maroon eyes fading as he looks down at you watching you huff and slowly sit up. “Why should i” he challenges loving the way you never back down.

“Because im your bestie for the restie and im always right” you arrogantly scoff climbing into his lap smiling at the eye roll he gives you, the fourth one today by the way, as an arm wraps around your waist to steady you.

“Shut up ‘bestie for the restie’ yuck” he mocks in a high pitched voice always making fun of you for saying stuff like that. He hated it, it was so girly and childish and stupid and he absolutely did not want to be your bestie.

“You actually bullied me into the silly little friendship” he reminds you the day you pranced into his shop bragging about the great colorwork of tattoos you did on all skintones and he couldnt deny your talent. Nor your friendship apparently.

“A woman half your size bullied you? The great lord sukuna. The masochist. The most muscular man in all of japan got bullied by a girl who doesnt use the top shelf in her home because shes to short to reach it” you gasp rhetorically leaning closer and closer making him hang off every word as if you were talking about something else. Its so innocent yet seductive all at the same time.

“Maybe i let the little pup thinks she is for my own amusement” he teases back with a smirk knowing it would get under your skin. Provoking you to get you riled up was one of his favorite pastimes.

“I will fuck you up” you snap with a vicious glare angrily sinking your teeth into your bottom lip. His skin burns at the sight remembering the drunk night at the club a few weeks ago and the kiss you shared when you sunk your teeth into his lip. Oh you couldve asked him for his soul and he wouldve told you its already yours. The next day though you just brushed it off before pestering him about it being so cold in the shop and demanding his hoodie.

“I would love to see you try” his smirk never leaving his face leaning closer to challenge you. Before your mouth can open in retaliation your phone chirps with 5 back to back text and your attention is gone from him.

“Oh its ‘toru” you smile… a bit to widely for his liking before getting lost in your phone.

“What the fuck is a Toru” he sneers unable to keep his jealousy at bay, because who in the actual fuck was toru and why were you smiling at your phone like that.

“Satoru Gojo” you shrug as if you hadnt just named a man that was so famous for gettin around he was known for sleeping with men and women and nobody batted an eye because they were just waiting on their chance.

“And you call him Toru?” He tries to stay calm digs his nails into his palms and digs his heels into the floor.

“Yes sukuna” you hiss not sure why he was asking such a redundant question. You hated being questioned this is actually where you and him were similar you were going to do what you wanted and when you didnt need anybody questioning you or being nosy. You had fucked up though nicknaming another man and reffering to him as just sukuna instead of kuna or even kirby that you called him from time to time.

“Get off me” he snaps and your head snaps up from the phone to his eyes that are actively avoiding you. Well who pissed in his onigiri? What was with the sudden change in attitude.

“Are you actually dumb enough to let that little fuckboy—“ he starts raging, not caring what words come out of his mouth until its to late and he sees the pure rage in your eyes.

“Dumb?!” You snap climbing off his lap and taking a step back from him. While you may seem soft and sweet like a cute little yapper there was a dark very vicious side to you that it seemed he could only trigger and once it was out it was like two fires colliding to see who could burn the most.

“When did you even have the time to meet this fucking idiot” he scowls hating Satoru and maybe he shouldve told you about their rivalry and that he actually knew the man but that would require good communication skills which is obviously something a man whos been crushing on you for nearly a year lacks.

“Maybe if you didnt spend so much time being a grumpy scowling asshole youd make friends too” you snap at him and he nearly has to bite his tongue he didnt give a fuck about friends when he had two annoying brothers, a pain in the ass Toji, Uraume and most importantly you.

“Who needs ‘em when i have you to pester me all fucking day” he snaps and he really didnt mean it so before he can say anything else he turns around to walk away only for you to keep going. You knew he never meant it when he said stuff like that it was part of your banter but this time you were furious and how dare he turn his back on you.

“And now you wont have to worry about me ever again” you snap shoving him on your way out making sure to slam the white door as hard as you could.

“Dont slam my fucking door” you hear his deep voice boom through the walls. So rightfully so you storm back to open it and slam it even harder. You hear “fucking brat” but refuse to not give him the satisfaction because realistically what the fuck was he going to do.

“Hey Y/n, what are you doing at the shop so late?” Yuji ask making Choso, Yuki and Toji look at you along with Maki who cuts the tattoo gun off pausing on her client.

“You being here this late only means one thing: you got a shipment of new tattoo ink or you and your little pink haired boyfriend are arguing…” she smirks, turning the gun back on. “And unless the mail started delivering on sundays id say the later”

“Its not my fault hes such an ass… and hes not my boyfriend” you cross your arms sitting at your station tinkering with all of the trinkets on your desk until you spot a 2x4 cutout of you and Sukuna from a photobooth you found at the movie theatres. Yanking it from its place on the mirror you lay it picture side down ignoring the little scribbles on the back.

So frustrated you tell them about the argument as theatrically as possible expecting for them to be on your side because he was wrong… as usual whenever you two argued which isnt often until recently but when you only receive snickers and hidden looks it only pushes you further into frustration.

“What is so funny, Maki?” You scowl at her crossing your arms over your chest before Choso burst out laughing.

“You two are so stupidly obsessed with another its comical, just last week you were calling him a slut for a woman texting him about a tattoo” she cackles taking her glasses off because her eyes were watering from laughing so hard.

“She sent him a nude that he kept looking at, which was gross by the way” you stick your nose in the hair and brush your hair off your shoulder.

“She was sending him a picture of her leg” Yuji intercepts being an actual witness to the picture and argument.

“Yeah and you could see her underwear, very unprofessional if you ask me. I just think if you are a shop owner you should have a bit more professionalism and not allow stuff like that” you shrug licking your gloss covered lips.

“Sukuna… professional? Youre on a roll tonight doll” Toji laughs at you this time spraying his station down with cleaning spray signifying he was done for the day and throwing everything into a big drawer as the rest of your coworkers laugh at the comment.

“You guys are actually the worst and to think i was telling him he should be nicer to you guys” you pout looking at the picture turned flat on your desk.

“I'm going to just say what nobody else is saying— that moron fucking likes you. Its kinda cute the way hes been pinning over you for the last few months” Yuki blurts twirling her blonde hair around her finger from Chosos lap who hisses her name.

“Dont get involved ive been in the middle of their fights, not worth it” he tells her and Yuji just agrees. Maki nor Toji cared enough to get involved preffering to just be bystanders, sometimes the cousins even made bets on who would win.

A solid two weeks goes by before Yuki intervenes. Two weeks of glares, blatantly ignoring another and even bumping shoulder because truth be told you two couldnt go to long without touching another.

Yuki listened as you called him everything but a child of God including a slut, whore, whoremonger and 7 other curse words she wasnt even sure people with a degrading kink would enjoy being called as the two of you watch him tattoo a woman who had obviously been flirting with him the whole time.

Yuki nearly looses it when its thursday— your day of the week to control the aux so of course everyone is expecting to hear megan the stallion which you don’t disappoint especially playing her newest album. But its when BAS plays that you and sukuna may eye contact before you look away going back to unpacking your ink not missing a single word.

“Im acting like i dont know him in public you treat him like a prize i treat him like hes disgusting” you rap a bit to loudly and the tension gets high in the parlor everyones eyes floating over to him but hes already glaring at you, you feel his glare but choose to ignore him so he does the only thing he knows he can.

“Turn this shit off” he snaps getting up walking over to the power source but is stopped when you finally speak.

“If its not your day on the aux you cant touch it— your rules” you remind him not even flinching or missing a beat he stops looking over at you the first time youve said something to him in weeks your pink curls in a half up half down with two strands framing your face his favorite hair style on you and its like you were doing it on purpose.

“We aint together but we together i hope nobody dont catch us” you keep going a second later this time your eyes meeting his through the mirror and he almost looses his cool when truth be told when it concerned you didnt take much. All eyes are back on him to see what his next plan of action is knowing hes not going to let you get away with it.

“New rule Megan is banned on thursdays” he smirks watching the way everyone turns back to you bracing for the argument to break out. But thats what he wanted… he was a menace and you knew better. You just unlock your phone with a grin turning on a worse song.

Aint shit by Doja cat and you watch the way his ears burn red with anger as you sing along. He wanted to burn everything down. You couldn't play anything if there wasn't somewhere to play it. But this wasnt a game he wanted to play with you… he didnt even wanna argue with you. He just didnt want you to talk to that white haired freak.

So with a few more hours of listening to your “indirect” shit talking songs somehow all of you survived the end of the night with nobody dying Sukuna ended up leaving early to go meet with Uraume.

So it’s no shock when you run into Uraume at the entrance of your apartment who sends you a kind smile.

“Hello” they speak politely, bowing at you slightly and sending Yuki a look. Yuki wasn't their favorite person and vice versa but they managed… somehow.

“How are you, it's been too long” you smile, hugging them squeezing in a way that made them slightly uncomfortable as you usually did it being your running joke since Uraume acted so professional all the time. Unaware of the way Yuki snaps a picture and posts it on insta making sure to tag you in it with a small red heart and heart eyes opting out of tagging Uraume for obvious reasons with no idea of the storm that was beginning to brew.

You sigh tilting your head as your black gently used paintbrush glides across the canvas. You weren't supposed to be thinking of him. Weren't supposed to let him live rent free in your mind you were here taking this class with your friends trying to be more in touch with your softer feminine side with a half up half down hair style a black bow tying your now maroon dyed body wave bundles together with a pink crop top and white mini skirt.

Trying to get over your feelings, you were passed the anger now just kinda sad this was the longest you had gone without talking to the bane of your existance.

Ryomen sukuna.

So why were you painting a throne on a pile of skulls and bones while the paint instructor had a field of assorted flowers and a beautiful sky. Before you can dwell on it your phone rings and you roll your eyes at the contact.

“What Choso” you spit into the phone and not that you hated him it's just that every time he called it was for something stupid… every time and this time was no different.

“Fine, im sending you my location now. Besides i don't think this soft girl era class is working anyway” you admit after hearing his request noticing Maki was painting a sword with a gun at the hilt and Nobara was painting a self portrait with a flower in her hair.

“And you want me to believe I’m supposed to just go look him in his eyes and say “No Ryo you're not like this” and he's going to stop destroying everything in his path?” You ask boredly twisting a burgundy colored curl around your finger leaning back in the car seat watching the dark haired man next to you run a hand over his tired baggy eyes. He winces, sending you a quick glance leaning further into his leather car seats. He originally told you he needed to have a talk about Yuki but once you got in the car and saw Yuji you knew it was about Sukuna.

“We have to try something… Y/n… I know it's been 2 months but he's getting worse. Hes not just picking fights anymore he's beating the shit out of people, he's destroying bars and clubs getting us banned and i've bailed him out so many times i'm actually nervous he's going to start putting a dent in my bank account” Choso exclaims pulling up to the bar and you can hear the commotion from the car.

There's a part of you that enjoys knowing hes spiraling without you. The fact that hes now a complete crash out and is so horrendously down bad for you it nearly makes your heart flutter. But you push that sick flattery down looking at yourself in the side mirror before applying more of your nyx butter gloss on your plump lips.

“If you don't do it for him can you do it for me…please.”Yuji, sukunas younger brother asks, leaning forward from the back seat tall body squishing inbetween the seats of you and Choso. His puppy dog eyes and innocent demeanor are overwhelming… how could you say no. Sighing you look over at Choso with your most vicious glare lash extensions giving you a softer look though and made you look more like a vixen than a murderer.

“You're lucky he's too young to be a witness or accessory in your murder” you threaten before swinging your door open and climbing out. The bar doors feel heavy as you push it open and you feel disgusted even being here. It was where criminals hung out, where people sold drugs beyond just weed and a place nobody called the cops no matter what happened. You were a lady and had no reason being here.

But when you’re eyes land on him it’s like everything comes rushing back. How you met, where you met your first kiss first gift first fight and the last.

Was it shitty to stop coming to the shop whenever you knew he’d be there? Sure but you knew you weren't strong enough to do it with him around. All it would take is his eyes going soft on you and you'd fold.

It’s like he senses your energy, of course he could. He could spot you in a dark room he paused so much attention to you that he knew you anywhere. His eyes light up for just a second. There's a split moment of happiness before the rage returns 10 fold and he destroys everything in his path to you.

“I dont need you following me or doing anything out of pity” he gives you a bored expression before turning back to his messes he created with a proud look.

Scoffing, you look over towards Choso eyes catching a glimpse of the bar and actually looking at it this time. Bar stools were broken and destroyed, the pool table in half and bodies everywhere. The bartender wasnt even behind the bar. He nearly burned it down destroyed… everything. Its like he tore the bar down in search of something and began throwing a tantrum beating everyone senseless when he couldnt find it.

Turning completely away from sukuna you send a “are you serious look” toward his brother before stepping over the large body of a man, the heel of your shoe getting stuck for a second in the sticky blood. This was beyond your scope, absolutely nothing you could do. He was too far gone.

“Where are you going?” His voice hitting such a soft timbre makes you freeze along with Yuji but Choso has a knowing look. Like he knew all it took was for you two to see another again he no longer feels bad about tricking you saying he wanted to hangout just to get you here.

Sukuna instantly realizes how he sounds and scrambles to let out his rough demeanor.

“How dare you turn your back on me, woman” he seethes and you hated when he called you that it sounded so derogatory. But it reveals something to the other two in the room: all the rough words and acts of aggression was just him being hurt… who would've thought the great sukuna would be hurting and acting out like this all because he missed you.

He felt abandoned.

Turning back to him you look him directly in his eyes watching the internal battle, you can't even help your eyes trail over all the new muscles and ink on his body… he was the one shirtless in here.

“Dude you're standing in a pile of bodies people you picked fights with. I don't want to bail you out anymore” Choso says, frustrated with his brother who just glares at him unimpressed.

“So leave me i told you i don't need your money just leave me” he gritts out running a hand through his hair.

“And yuji?” His brother ask

“Yuji will be fine— people leave” sukuna speaks making sure to put emphasis on people leave while looking at you. He didn't get to do that, he didn't get to put you in this situation.

“We’re leaving” you say looking at the door but nobody moves, especially Sukuna who turns his head away from you and it’s like you could feel the heat of the room increasing.

“I said WE’RE leaving” and you pick up his motorcycle helmet and jacket shoving it into his chest and turning to walk out not leaving room for him to disagree. You smile when his heavy footsteps can be heard behind you and he makes sure to push the door open for you so you don't have to touch it.

As much of an ass as he is, he still makes sure to help you on his bike even offering his jacket so you don't freeze or have to worry about your skirt raising up as well as his helmet that still had the stupid Kuromi sticker you put on it months ago.

When he climbs on turning on the bike the engine roaring to life you hesitate wrapping your arms around his midsection which he scoffs at though you miss it over the load roar that has you clinging tighter onto him.

He smirks looking back at you before the two of you are flying down The streets of shibuya his frustration mild as all he can think of is your with the skirt on. He was too good of a driver to let you fall but he still had concern and fuck the way you’re legs looked and when did you dye your hair and—

He slows down pulling in to the garage of your building pulling into his usual parking spot that was spray painted with fire and skulls before cutting the engine. The walk to your apartment is silent. He doesn't know what to say and the last time he said something to you it was the wrong thing. He was starting to fume hating that you had this power over him, hating that he couldn’t just open his fucking mouth and talk swearing that in a past life he must’ve had several that wouldn’t stop moving so now he’s cursed with one that can’t move.

“Thanks for walking me to my door” you awkwardly say twirling the helmet in your hands before giving it back to him, a Kuromi sticker a stark contrast to the deep blood red. He licks his lips, feeling the way you look at him and suddenly feeling so small under your gaze.

“You should probably stop picking fights with people” you finally offer breaking the silence and hes instantly folds.

“I didn’t want to argue with you! I just think you can do better than that fucking cocky ass loser. I can’t believe you still went out with him” he rolls his eyes.

“I meant at bars” you tell him watching the way he gives you a blank stare to arrogant himself to acknowledge his own wrongs.

“And i didn’t go out with him” you add watching him scoff pulling out his phone and holding it up to you. The picture of you hugging Uraume only you can’t tell it’s them just you hugging a man with bright white hair screenshotted from Yuki's instagram.

“D’you think im a fucking idiot?!” He snaps, nearly crushing the phone in his hand which only causes you to laugh as you walk into your apartment kicking off your heels at the door. He follows only because he wants a explanation you were blatantly laughing in his face after being caught in a lie why the fuck was it so funny.

“Is that why your hair is red now? And you started wearing more makeup? And dressing more girly? And stopped coming to the shop as much” alright this was word vomit because what was he saying and what the fuck was he doing? He doesn't waste time with feelings such as these? Doesn’t care about insolent feelings like l—

“You’re an idiot if you don’t realize that’s your own fucking lap dog— its Uraume. They were outside and we were catching up i guess Yuki snapped the picture cause she thought it was cute” you giggle with a hand over your mouth watching as realization sets in.

“And my hair is maroon not red like the color of your eyes but obviously you hate it and my outfit and obviously you hate me because you went two months without talking to me and—“ your dramatically faint in his arms watching the way he smirks down at you when you peak an eye open missing the way it felt being so close to him and how quick his arms wrap around your midsection to stop you from falling. In a split second your cheek is being cupped in his large palm and his lips are on yours.

You aren’t expecting it arent expecting the softness of the action or his lips making your whole body freeze and eyes shut.

Oh.

OH.

FUCK!

He couldn’t help himself honestly his brain moved faster than his body he hasn’t even processed what he did and now he has to find a new tattoo artist, explain to everyone why you won’t be working there any more find a new tiny woman to annoy him and a cliff to throw himself off of—

“I knew this lip gloss made my lips kissable” and he’s back looking down at you with a bewildered expression watching the way you smile up at him still in his arms a slight dazed look to your eye and he swears he can see the little hearts in your pupils.

“I do hate you” he hisses with a smile pulling your lips back to his and this time you kiss back your hand reaching up to tug him closer making sure he knew exactly how you felt, letting your teeth graze his bottom lip pulling a small growl from him.

“Yeah. I like you too”

#sukuna x reader #ryoumen sukuna #sukuna x black reader #sukuna ryomen #jjk x black!reader

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purpdrawsthings · 3 months ago

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I SWEAR THIS IS THE FINAL ONE

God this app is going to be the end of me.

For anyone asking where their oc was, don't be afraid to ask me! =3

@ominus-potato @h4ppysoki @fenicearts420 @icedbeverageenjoyer @alex-dolmatescu2-0 @zenith-astral @moonlight12086 @sakuwura-meow-meow @josiekatxd @echostarsys @neo91502 @smgx-pez

Special mentions!

@birdy-four @scimagic @fruit-sy

Links to the two past posts!

First

Second

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE DAMN ANIMATIC CUZ I NEED TO.

Finally.. With that settled..

Was this worth it? Idfk.

I am so burnt out..

This thing was made in both Flipaclip and Alight motion. Give all the thanks to my fingers and thumb chat 💜💜💜💜

Now this thing was originally supposed to premier on the 31st right at new years. Problem was, IT HAD 2K+ FRAMES AND I STARTED AT THE 21ST. WORSE, I DECIDED THAT IT WAS THE AMAZING DECISION TO ADD 85 PEOPLE AND DID NOT PLAN THIS. This thing has got me doubting myself, I think I almost went crazy.

I did 500 frames for the first day then 200.. Then 100... THEN LESS THAN 100. By the 31st, new years had past. Meaning it was outdated. Might as well finish it right? I took a break for almost week before going back at the project thinking "WHAT AM I DOING??". I finished by yesterday and uh.. I did like 500+ frames from yesterday cuz I was that desperate to get rid of my misery. I edited the thing today and everything was ready right?

WRONG.

I HAD TO DEAL WITH THE PROBLEM OF ME ADDING THE 4 MINUTE ANIMATION IN THE POST, WAITING FOR IT TO SAVE, ONLY FOR IT TO REJECT ME. This went on for a total of 3 hours with me just WAITING for it to let it save while I watched videos from my tv. Eventually, I gave up and decided to split the video.

Thought that was end? NO. I REALIZED THAT I COULDN'T PUT 2 VIDEOS IN ONE POST, NOR CAN I ADD MORE THAN 50 MENTIONS IN ONE POST. These past few hours was stressful my god. Finally seeing it end was a relief.

I am NOT doing this again.

Anyways, with that outta the way.. I'll get on with my uh.. Statement for Christmas!

Thank you for everyone for an amazing and awesome year. It's been a wonderful one and I cant express the amount of gratitude and love to each every person I've met this year. Even if it was for a short while, I still enjoyed every moment.

I can't believe that joining one fandom would get me this far, it blows my mind because of how many connections I've able to make because of this one fandom. I give my highest gratitude to the SMG4 community, and the amazing people who are in it.

I started my early days in this internet in amino. Although small, it let me explore new stuff and new people. And to that, ill say a thank you to all of my among us friends, and the community itself. This whole fandom inspired me to make my own series, create my own ocs from scratch, and slowly grow. Although during that period I didn't get the amount of attention I have now, it was a great, small place to start off as a small creator.

Back to the SMG4 community, I would like to say thank you for 200+ followers on both Tumblr and Twitter! Old me would've exploded so many times because of that milestone. I can't believe I have so many people I look up to that actually follow me, like what you guys actually notice me?! I'd like to say so much more but it just really flabbergasted me of how far I've gotten. I can't even think of the words or anything! All I can say is thank you for the experiences I've had. All of this couldn't have been done without you.

It's time for some little statements for all the people I adore.

@tiredsmashbros @strange0-0storm @its-a-me-mango @cookiepopcat - Omg I see y'all as the big artists of the community sishsishishdid interacting with every single one of you was a pleasure and it was amazing! I don't usually interact with people I admired or looked up to due to me being a bit shy.. But y'all are so amazing! Everytime any one of you would reply to my posts, I get a huge squeel! I was getting noticed like help??? You guys are like one the first few artists that I saw when starting in the community, you guys can't imagine how much of an inspiration you all are to me, and for that, thank you for everything, big or small! 💜💜💜

@rr3d2y @mikchi8 - AKO AND MIKCHI YOU TWO SILLY PPL GUHHHHHHH. First off, AKO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! YOU'RE LITERALLY MY FIRST SMG4 RELATED FREN!! I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT OUR FIRST INTERACTION QUICKLY JUST MADE US FRIENDS LIKE, YOU SO COOL??? AND MIKCHI, ALTHOUGH WE DON'T INTERACT OFTEN, I FIND YOU SILLY, AND GOOFY. STOP PUTTING PREGNANT EMOJIS GUHHHH!!!! /silly You two are so silly sihsisgdishsishdidg love you two 💜💜💜💥💥💥💥

@coralalala64 @bear-boi-5 @libbytwq - You three are also silly like what. SOYYYYYYY I fucking love ur artstyle it's so recognizable.. I LOVE UR VIRAL VIRUS AU!!! I swear I look at EVERY SINGLE POST relating to the AU like I AIN'T JOKING I READ ALL OF THEM YES THAT'S WHAT I DO IN MY FREE TIME. The way you incorporate horror into your drawings is amazing, IT JUST WORKS! Coral you goof stop spreading the creachurs everywhere now my place stinks... /silly anyways, YOUR TRADITIONAL ARTSTYLE IS AMAZING! I FIRST SAW YOU THROUGH YOUR SILLY CREACHUR DOODLES AND I LOVED THEM!! TALKING TO YOU IS ALSO AMAZING CUZ YOU SO FUNNY! Somebody kick Ignatius away from SMGL:E /silly LORE YOU SO COOL!!!! THE THINGS YOU ARE WORKING ON WITH L:E ARE SO INTERESTING PLEASE DO KEEP ON COOKING I WILL EAT IT. I swear to god I don't know I how this all happened but I swear you three are cool af. 💥💥💥💥✨✨✨✨

@michealscorneroftheinternet @grinnames - WHERE TO FUCKING START... Micheal, I. Love. Your. AU's. SHOUTOUT TO @dorriostareyes TOO CUZ YOU COOL! I SHOULD'VE ADDED YOU IN THE SPECIAL MENTIONS GUHHHHHHH I'M SORRY!!!!! Continuing.. I LOVE YOUR THREE AU'S, UNDERTALE AU? AMAZING. CHANGE IN SCRIPT? ABSOLUTE CINEMA. THE FALLEN? AN ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE!!!! You can't imagine how much I love your content... I won't stop making fanart for you so that I'll actually explode your circuits =3 /silly /hj GRINNAMES I LOVE YOUR GODBOX AU. LIKE I LOVE ME TWO CORRUPTED SMG'S CONTROLLED BY THE GODBOX 💜💜💜 They are so silly like they could on a killing spree.. OH ALSO UR ARTSTYLE IS VERY VERY PRETTY. I LOVE IT! You two have amazing AU'S like god aishoahsoshsoshsohsosh💥💥💥💥💥💥

@icedbeverageenjoyer @h4ppysoki @jovialoddity @bidinonsense @fbanjex @4thwallbreakerdraws2 - do they all have in common? MR PUZZLES! Every time I see yalls Puzzles content I have a smile on my face that I can't describe cuz yalls Puzzles content is so peak, I LOVE ME SOME SILLY HANDSOME TV MEN CONTENT THANK YOU!!!!! Oh btw @alex-dolmatescu2-0 don't worry you're invited to the club too don't be shy 💜💜💜

@eliscz @opossol @theartistisme43 - YOU ALL SO COOL LIKE SOSHSIDHDODHOSHDODHD. Opposol I know you aren't involved in the SMG4 community much but I love ur content it's just so amazing and I love the cartoons kinda fuzzy art style. Elis also know you're in your sun n' moon hyper fixation phase but broadcast madness au is PEAK. Cantro I love your scarred verse like it a so interesting I love scarred SMG4 sm. Someone beat up that tv man 😔💥💥💥 /silly

@art-parasi-te @superluigiglitchy - You two are amazing people! Hamlos you should know by now that I am actually kinda into Dandys World and I even have my own oc so.. IDFK WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT WHAT AM I SPITTING??? Squib yaoi gotta be my fav ship 💜 PJ! I love ur silly Oliver squib yaoi content like HE IS SO CUTE SOMEBODY MAKE A MARKETABLE PLUSHIE OUT OF HIM!! So yeah you two so coollllllll ✨✨✨✨✨

This animatic was made to express my gratitude and love to every single on fo the people in this community, featured or not, you are all awesome. Hopefully this will get some smaller creators the attention they deserve 💜

Big or small, we all can achieve out dreams, next year ;)

Merry Christmas / holidays everyone 💜

I am so not okay chat

#smg4 #smg4 au #new year #happy new year #christmas

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theguarddogofallyourfeverdreams · 3 months ago

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puppy princess | tadashi x reader fic

"... and in a while i came and got your plates and you guys went on the rest of your date i scrubbed cheese and wished i was somebody else..."

a story told in pieces: part 1 | hamada bros' interlude | part 2 | part 3 | your POV #: 2 idiots mutual pining, fluff, misunderstanding, tadashi is here and in full nerd geek dork goofiness (loser simp tadashi), genderneutral (i try) omni perspective, no beta we die like tadashi uhhh yeah we just die; all in some 2k words (TW/ high word count for people whose attention span is fried from tiktok)

(•---•) tadashi hamada wouldn't say he was a casanova or anything of that sort. of course, he was well-respected on campus and the object of many's affection-- and one might argue thus he has the right to assert himself as such, but such an argument would be incorrect. you see, he lacked an important part: the confidence to go after what he wants.

off campus, he takes on the responsibility of helping aunt cass run the lucky cat cafe along with hiro. in his almost-decade long tenure at the cafe he had come across and interacted with many an interesting and enigmatic figure, but none of them were as peculiar, curious, and eye-catching as you.

you became a regular of the cafe some years back, and naturally because of his feelings, he remembered your order around your first few revisits— a matcha latte with sweet foam, light sugar and extra matcha. he would never admit it— not to aunt cass and hiro, and certainly not to you (you cant ogle customers!)— that he was indeed staring at you every time you came in and that the register was, in his experience and opinion, the best angle to admire your beauty: the way the sun shed light on your face on sunny days, rose dusting your cheeks and your eyelashes charmingly framing your gleaming eyes, the way you looked out the window on cloudy and rainy days, as if longing for something and deep in thought— it was much too excessive and overstimulating, and thus words alone would simply do an injustice to you in describing the beauty of it all.

there were too many an instance where his eyes would linger on you for a moment too long while he was making drinks or drying dishes. many of these instances, either aunt cass had to gently wake tadashi up from his daydreaming, or he would be interrupted by hiro yelling at him for overspilling the milk into the drink shaker. he's contemplated approaching you for anything other than delivering your order to your table, but even the thought of just approaching you made his heart race and a knot form in his throat.

thus, he's never spoken much to you beyond basic formalities that a cafe employee is expected to show to their customers; but a part of him, poorly restrained and hidden, desperately yearned to approach you—say something, anything, to get to know you.

today, just like always, the jingle of the bells by the door announced your arrival. however, what was different was that you brought someone along with you. this instantly rubbed tadashi a certain way he didn't like— he felt a certain way that he couldn't identify nor label. he didn't mean it in the creepy way, but in the many days he's ogled and observed you he's very rarely seen you bring anyone with you to the cafe, if ever. the two of you took a seat at a table near the window of the cafe by the door.

today, just like always, he has to "woman up!" and muster up his courage to approach your table. "hello! will it be the usual for today?" he addresses you first, slightly stumbling in his words.

however, today, he also has to collect himself in front of you and stop his feelings for you from showing on his face. "that's okay tadashi. actually today we were thinking of getting the couple set!" you replied after flipping through the menu and landing on the item you mentioned. it's a set of heart-shaped souffle pancakes topped with cheese foam, powdered sugar and fruits that come with cups of latte, matcha or coffee.

his heart dropped at the order. honestly, he didn't even know that was an item on the menu until you guys flipped to the page. you sure said that with a gleeful inflection... he sure wishes he was the one sharing it with you right now. he was lucky enough to know your name— and only your name for sure, everything else was pure observation and speculation— only because without customers' names, the cafe would lose track of customers' orders otherwise. he mentally kicks himself for his romantic cowardice.

regardless, he swallows the small knot in his throat and forces a smile, scribbling down the order on his notepad. "so that's a couple set for the both of you... will that be matcha or coffee for the drinks?"

"one matcha, one coffee please."

"will that be all for today?"

"that will be all, thank you so much tadashi." you replied sweetly, smiling at him.

your small smile alone is too much for him. not to mention your delightful and sweet voice, your mannerisms, the way you—tadashi moves quickly towards the counter of the cafe, then disappearing behind cat-print curtains that secluded the kitchen from general view and the rest of the cafe.

(•---•)

as the cafe wasn't very busy at this time of the day, tadashi returned to your table with your orders faster than expected.

donning a beige and brown-accented apron with paw prints, a notepad and pen stuffed in one of the pockets of the apron, tadashi was...sightly, to say the least—he somehow made working at a cafe look endearing. his cheeks were slightly pink, his smooth and soft skin dusted with powdered sugar, his dark, straight brows slightly furrowed as he balances the plates carrying your orders in his hands before politely setting it down on the table. let's just say the souffle pancakes weren't the only snacks available this afternoon.

"...the matcha, and the coffee." he noted briefly before setting each iced latte down. "please let me know if you guys need anything. please enjoy." tadashi says shyly with a slight smile before quickly returning to the main counter of the cafe and disappearing. you smile, thanking him.

as tadashi stocked cutlery, containers and drinkware, he couldn't help but overhear the fun you were having with the person you brought today. after all, it was quite slow for the cafe right now, and the only few people here were you, your companion, him, and aunt cass who was in the back.

"and so then..." you trailed off with your companion, chatting, giggling and gossiping over various things. you two exchanged sips of each others' drinks. you even slapped them on their arm in a fit of laughter. you sure seemed to be having fun with them. tadashi made sure to turn his back towards the both of you as the two of you talked about, well, whatever the fuck you two were talking about, because that wasn't important to him. what was important was that you became someone else's before he ever got to court you—actually no, he had all this time up until now to court you, but he never because of his cowardice and lack of experience.

and so he beats himself up again. he couldn't afford to show you...whatever it was that he was feeling, and he reprimanded himself for it. how could he feel...whatever this was... over you? you were never his in the first place—he simply got too attached to one specific regular. and he scolded himself again. (maybe don't get attached and ogle customers. this is so bad. what was i thinking? why did i even do that in the first place? how did i even think it was okay? but they're just so pretty—oh jeez, it's actually over. i have to get over it. it's better to get over this than accidentally do something and make them hate me. or maybe i could just—)

"hey tadashi, could we get the check please?" you stood up from the table, your voice, music to his ears, breaking his train of thought. apparently he'd been lost in thought for longer than since the two of you had long finished your pancakes and drinks.

"o-oh yeah! sure! actually i'll help you over here." tadashi looks up, stumbling over his own words and slightly embarrassed that you had to catch him while he was thinking those things of you. he swears inside and hopes he didn't make any weird faces while he was thinking about you.

at the register, he taps on a screen a few times and helps you with the transaction, handing you your receipt. he shudders a bit as his hand slightly grazed yours as he handed the piece of paper to you.

but he couldn't keep it up any longer. he's held his composure for what felt like an eternity and more, and it was slowly slipping away and leaking. desperation, curiosity and need-to-know clawed at his throat and a question fell out of his previously tightly pursed lips. "a... friend..of yours?" he hesitated.

"yeah. they mean a lot to me, so i thought i'd show them one of my favorite places in the city." you explained, slightly taken aback at tadashi taking an interest in you and your companion since the two of you never went further than the 'please's and the 'thank you's, the typical polite formalities between a cafe employee and a customer.

like one of those insane slice-of-life anime scenes, he has to maintain his composure while he screeched internally. (oh my god that person means a lot to them they said it themself just now it's actually over for me i have no chance i'm cooked—)

"huh," his brows slightly knit together, processing your words and struggling to form a response. "yeah i just noticed since you're usually here alone."

(oh shit. am i a creep?) things were clearly starting to get out of hand for tadashi now. the combination of his composure slipping and the two of you engaging in conversation longer than ever before is making him spill.

"you notice me?" you blink. your face warms, your eyes widen in surprise and your lips spread in happy surprise. as much as tadashi had kicked and beat himself internally today, seeing such a delightful and charming little expression on your face was, to the desperate him, a rare win in all the losses he took today. your eyes were so much more beautiful up close and your eyelashes were so much longer and prettier than he could ever make out.

(i'm losing it it's actually over i'm sooo cooookeddddd—)

"oh well it's just that you are a regular and stuff—" he stammered, flustered and mentally trying to reach for something, anything, to play it cool. even his stammering, flustered, uncomposed and off-guard reaction is cute.

"huh. everything was very delicious, as usual. i gotta get to showing them around the city. thank you for everything tadashi, i'll catch you some time later!" you thank tadashi with another one of your bright, warm smiles that catch tadashi off guard, warming him from the sea of his cold thoughts. you shove your receipt into your pockets and hurriedly turned your back towards him, rushing to leave the door and meet with your companion.

(oh my god they don't want to talk to me anymore they'd rather be with their very important person instead)

tadashi is left standing at the counter, alone and quite frankly, the most internally conflicted and overstimulated he has ever been in the entire history of interacting with you. in the span of only a few moments that covered seconds, if not a minute in real time, he's felt abject dejection, desperation, hopelessness, warmth, adrenaline and a racing heart, all at once. "oh...thank you for your patronage, as usual. see you around." he says to himself dejectedly.

he walks to the table you two were just seated at and collects the neatly stacked plates and glasses to process and clean at the sink. he rolls up the sleeves of his cardigan and gets to work. now his composure has fully slipped in a cafe filled with nobody, moping alone as he scrubbed at the dishes.

"i'm scrubbing cheese and wishing i were somebody else. how sad can this get?"

[A/N sorry i assumed what you, the reader, liked for the matcha latte regular order part etc. i had to do it for the immersion and how people remember all the little details that is what makes love so endearing. tadashi is here and i won't take anything else for an answer. i havent written a proper fic for like so long if this perspective is weird yeah idc i never learned how to write fic properly and its been so long anyway so please feel free to put in requests i can't just be writing about tadashi. or well no actually i can]

#tadashi hamada x you #tadashi hamada imagines #tadashi hamada #tadashi hamada x reader #big hero six #big hero 6 #bh6 #bh6 the series #baymax #hiro hamada

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