#I may be delulu but I am free

[amourcherie606]

fischls #1 fan is her big brother kaveh who totally understands her and is making her dream princess castle!! he also used to read bedtime stories to his dear wittle sister :[[[ he also totally introduces her to cyno and nilou becuz they are both theatrical like she is and shes just ":OOO!!!"

[thequeeflord]

Choosing to believe that 'I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods' really meant 'I feel like my life started again that day we found you in the woods because your presence significantly increased our chances of finding Will and bringing him home'

[imchoccy]

A man who cannot stand another wouldn’t willingly live with them for decades and then sell their furniture and decide to sleep in a blowup bed with him (they very easily could have blown up another bed).

Also they have like canonically sexted. Like Dennis canonically catfished Mac and got him off using a vibrator (god that is such a weird sentence to write). So honestly I don’t think them actually fucking is a massive leap from that.

Not to mention the fact Dennis revealed Johnny was him when Mac said he fell in love with him and Dennis looked genuinely upset over it too (I’m forever going insane over the face he made). Like Dennis CARED. He actually gave a shit! He could’ve easily continued to lie and get his free food and space like the shitty person he is but he didn’t do that. Sorry I’m just completely stuck on that.

However!

I kinda see where this is coming from tbh. After being queerbaited by other shows I tend to be less trusting that my ships will become cannon (I’m NOT saying always sunny is queerbaiting btw just to make that clear) and I do think macdennis shippers can be very delulu sometimes (I include myself in this).

Honestly I am also very sceptical whether macdennis will become canon. But I like to hold out hope :)

You guys are so delusional I love you. Mac and Dennis are never going to fuck I’m sorry. Like the way you talk about season 16 makes it sound like the show runners were intentionally and explicitly building two sided sexual tension between Mac and Dennis but you are so obviously grasping at straws here Dennis literally can’t stand Mac. U guys got me invested in the ship now too so here I am getting my feelings crushed cuz I go to watch season 16 and realize you’re all delulu <3

[otherdaze]

Being delulu but dreaming hight

I had a dream and it was called Soldier Capitano x Prince Aether, unrrequited or one side love from a not told story from 500 years ago.

I just think that Capitano really respect the prince for some kinda reason that look really sus

[ox1-lovesick]

hi

[skzoologist]

Hello! how are you? Could you write something about how bae and kids would react to a stay recognizing them and giving them a gift or like coming up to them to say hi, when they were on their way to a restaurant, lots of fluff

P.S Would you mind if I spammed your asks? I've got a lot more ideas

:]

Hey-ho anon!

I'm quite alright now, currently stressing over writing Unfamiliarity, because I'm a horrible tumblr parent 😭 I hope you're doing fine yourself, remember to stay hydrated and to walk around sometimes if you sit a lot!

Your request is so cute, I'll definitely write this when I can, I only have another request to do before yours! I replied now to reassure you, that you abso-fucking-lutely CAN go ham in my ask box, that's like a dream come true?? I am a small writing blog (especially compared to other SKZ ones), so I treasure every ask, message, request I get.

Go wild, my dear, I'll get to writing all of them eventually 😊

[hannibal-play-by-gay]

literally nothing can convince me that will graham would not jam his ass out to garth brooks rodeo if it came on the radio

[liaswills]

Pick a card: What does this person want to say to you? ❤️

Good evening lovely darlings! I'm back with another Tumblr Tarot post- for the delusional girlies, this is another What would this person want to say to you? Particularly love focused! This could be a message from a S/O- or F/s/o or perhaps even a f/o! Depending on your degree of delulu, ofcourse. :)

Pick a pile! Use the pics underneath or go based on intuition. Thankyou! ❤️

Oh, love of mine. What wonders there are to be found when you look into my eyes. This is all poetic, truly, but in my soul, the deepest parts of it, I know that you'll still be hoping to come back to me. It is the way things are. I can't change it- even if I wanted to. I watch you. I see you. I hope you know I do believe in you- I love you. When I see tears on your cheeks, streaking like some porcelain beauty, some victorian soul, gauging at what is left of me, gauging at what the eye cannot see, I long to hold your hand, softly press a kiss to it and tell you all I have seen in you that you do not see. I would take you to my favourite spot, walk the whole way just to talk to you, I would tell you what I have been wanting to let you know- that no matter where I am, or what you do, or who we are, in our very souls, we are always one and the same. We are alike. Perhaps in spirit, personality, or maybe just in how we devote ourselves to spirituality, or God, but I know that I am yours if you will be mine. But you haven't been coming to me. You don't want to be mine yet. I know you think you do- but you're not ready for this. Neither am I. I have found myself trying to build what was left- to build a new. I have found I wanted to incorporate more of the old into my new life and therefore I am struggling to find my way to you- it will show some day but I will make time free. Free time for you. I promise you this. I fear some day, you may leave me entirely. Yet even when this happens, I'm but a cinder. I'm but a memory. A distant person you once knew. Distant eyes you once reflected upon, talked to, listened to, hoped for, wished and yearned. I'll not be the same because you won't either. We grow with one another. Tell me you love me. I need to know this. I need you to tell it straight to my face, to my memory, to my thought, to my soul, just think it. Think, say, breathe it. I will know when you do. Thank you for thinking of me today, I appreciate it.

You'll always be my true love, you know? ❤️

It's in his kiss, that's where it is. You can feel when I love you truly, baby, because I would kiss you like you've never felt before. I'd go as slow as you want, as sensual as I could ever be, as loving as I could try, I would do it for you. I know we don't know each other that well yet. We are new. But even if you know me for a long time, this feeling is new. We haven't been together before- not in other lives. I haven't loved you yet. This is new to me. I think we would fit together.... I am confused about it however. I'm not really sure what I want. I know, I am indecisive. But with you- it does feel right, it does feel... like I am a child again kissing his first crush. It feels this way- which is why I think it's important that we continue to communicate, about what you want, about what I want... it'll make this easier because I can't smell what is on your mind. I can sense your feelings, I am very empathic, but I don't know what you're thinking. And I have the feeling you're led by your thoughts, just as I am. We are horrible in listening to ourselves. Perhaps, I am better at giving you advice than I am for myself but in truth, it should be me who has to do the work and approach you, romance you, love you, not the other way around. You're so kind to me- this bamboozles the shit out of me because I am not technically seen as an approachable nice person, so your energy it really confuses me for that reason. Am I not repulsive? Do you not... want to run away from me? You're making my bad thoughts about myself resurface and dissolve all the same. When I think or look at you, even for a second, I just know that I am looking at something good. I know this is something to be cherished. Can I trust my own feeling however? I'm not too sure. I want you to know this. Just to make some clarification about where I am right now. I am not trying to push you away- nor do I want you gone AT ALL I need you and I want you by my side but I am just a torn up dunderhead. Forgive me?

"She's one of my favourite things." This is what I say when people ask about you. Hm, yes, I know. From me? You're surprised. I know some days you may think I don't know you, or don't like you, but I do, I like you a lot. You're my princess, in any fairytale that exists. And the divine to my subservient self. I'd worship you. Cherish you. Because, I know, that for you not to leave me, I have to step up and treat you well. I will be forthcoming, I will be consistent, and I will try to make your life as much of a priority as I will mine. It's not black and grey with me. It's quite clear with me. I want you to be mine. I need to marry you- some day or now. I do not care when. That's how serious I am. That's how real this feels for me. I don't need to figure this out by a 10 hour astrology research to compare my charts to yours. I don't need to figure out via a deity about what time you're going to call or text. I need to know just one thing- and that is that I can trust my feelings. I want you to trust yours. If you do- if you do feel for me, If you do cherish me, or even like me, or god above, if you even love me, if you could, that you won't break it hard on me. Do it gently. Tell me how you love me, and when you leave me, so I know it's easier. If you ever leave me, I would try to have you one more day. I really would. Not in spite or because I want some silly disgusting energy break up sex but because...I would just want to look at you, once more, see you, breathe you, just touch your hand perhaps, or even your hair, to just sit there and tell you nothing or a lot. But I wouldn't ever try to hurt you, I will never try to do this I just hope... perhaps... that you won't hurt me, all right? Can you do this for me? Can you do everything gently? (Except the sex, I don't need it to be gentle ok) but you get what I mean. My heart, my feelings, are much more tender than I can confess. I may look tough. I may be someone you think is tough- perhaps I am, maybe I am also that, but one word of you can silence me forever. Trust on that. So use your words well with me, it'll be better for both of us. Don't you think? I love you. ❤️

God speed your love to me. You thought this was going to be the romantic pile, didn't you? Hahahaha! Bitch please! I am your worst nightmare. Just kidding, I am just incapable of showing you the love you so desire and dream of. What is it with you and me? You like me obsessively. Trust me, your guides and I have been chatting away for a bit and you're.... well, let's just say, you're at wits end about me, aren't you darling? Hehe. I like when you're mad. Some days, I just think how lovely it would be if you'd be in my arms and I could just... have a peek at that lovely chest of yours. Too dirty? I understand. You think I'm a pervert. Honestly, darling, I do too. That's what I hide behind, mostly, truthfully, I'm disgusting myself sometimes, especially during those solo hours. You don't want to believe the things I've thought about you- oh my god. If my life's work and thoughts would ever get published, it would be the biggest event of all lifetime. The world would stop. The M25 would be in a traffic jam all fucking year- don't know why, but it would, wouldn't it? Say, I know you from somewhere... that's what I always say, I always begin with that. And then, I would transgress your interest and I would try and lure you into thinking of me. And when you're thinking of me, I am thinking of how you're hopelessly and desperately thinking of me and then I'll- you know, get creative thinking of you. Honey, what am I to you? Though? Like- can we be real? Am I your friend? Your lover? Your nemesis? Your teacher? Your mentor? What the fuck are we? I am so confused ! 🤣 You say things that literally bolder me off the side of the road and throw me right into the cut. Like can we pretend that for one day, you and I aren't you and I and then we can be delusional together in our own little world? You'd like that right? Well, I would too. I need to escape whatever the hell this is, or this life is, and then we can get coffee and a drink or two and you can tell me what we're going to do about this, about us, because I can't stop thinking how we are going to solve this or do this or just... how. Hm :) You look good. Just wanted to say that. Take some medicine when you feel bad, especially cramps. Take good care of yourself. I could write to you forever- know that. You can reach out to me.

[pierregazly]

i know places ꨄ charles leclerc smau

charles leclerc x fem!reader

or 4 times charles soft launched you, and the one time he hard launched you so hard it almost caused whiplash

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc, joris__trouche, and 430,230 others

charles_leclerc happy summer break 😁

view all 3,400 comments

username ummm???

username that last photo im gonna throw up i never want him to post a photo dump again

username what about OUR family charles? ME, your wife? OUR imaginary kids?

joris__trouche i hope you paid your photographer

charles_leclerc she said it was a free trial

username there's literally no way charles 'i am stupid' leclerc knows how to soft launch this has to be a joke

username i hope this brings ferrari such awful luck... no man who soft launches like this deserves happiness

charles_leclerc

liked by arthur_leclerc, yourusername, landonorris, and 320,540 others

charles_leclerc new song releasing at midnight tonight on all platforms, we hope you'll like it 🎶

view all 2,340 comments

username i cant wait to be depressed for the rest of the week thank u charles

username im sorry... WE? who is WE?

username omg... is this a piano duet... between charles and his girlfriend???

joris__trouche i hope you're sharing the royalties

charles_leclerc nosy man

username the fact he's giving us literal crumbs like we have NOTHING to go off of

username he's just smarter than the rest of us, not letting us creep his girl

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, mickschumacher, yourusername, and 650,392 others

charles_leclerc what an incredible weekend in singapore. honoured to have had all the people i love with me this weekend for this win. i can never do this without you.

view all 5,321 comments

username do u think he put 'i can never do this without you' in a whole different sentence because it's directed at HER

username idk if i should call u delulu or smart bc 👀

username i am so fed up with this soft launch, stop being a coward and show her to us!!!

username comments like these are prolly why he's only soft launching... he doesn't want crazy fans to pull what they did with lando and luisa lol

pierregasly je suppose que ton porte-bonheur fait son travail 👀

charles_leclerc 🥰😁

charles_leclerc

liked by joris__trouche, pierregasly, landonorris and 692,941 others

charles_leclerc an extra special christmas, with an extra special person. joyeux noël to you all, may santa spoil you as much as he has spoiled me 🎅🏻

view all 4,523 comments

pierregasly joyeux noël from kika and i, looking forward to spending time with the both of you in the new year 🥂

joris__trouche impressive that this soft launch is still going, only ever seen you this dedicated about cars

username not joris saying exactly what we all have been thinking

username i cant believe no one has found her on anything

username charles hasn't given us anything to go off of, its like he's trying to make it difficult to find her

username omg y'all it HAS to be yourusername her story is them literally kissing!!!! im gonna scream!!!!!!

username she's followed by half the grid!!! kika has liked all her post over the last 2 YEARS omg

yourusername has posted a story

liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, username, and 434 others

replies

charles_leclerc honoured to have been the one to kiss you for the last three christmases, hoping for hundreds more

charles_leclerc

tagged yourusername

liked by pierregasly, yourusername, arthur_leclerc, and 1,235,029 others

charles_leclerc apparently i forgot to introduce the world to my beautiful wife? joyeux anniversaire mon amour 💗

view all 6,421 comments

username your WHAT

username his WIFE?!

username there is no way mr 'i am stupid' has hidden a whole WIFE and a whole MARRIAGE from us

pierregasly merde i am so excited to finally post the photos from your wedding

yourusername honoured to have spent the last year as mrs. charles leclerc, hoping for so many more

charles_leclerc hoping for forever

username MRS CHARLES LECLERC PLS IM KSFJHK

username i am screaming and throwing up, not even crying i cant even be heartbroken????

landonorris emotionally im not okay

yourusername you were at the wedding??? landonorris i love love, shut up.

if you've already seen this i apologize lol, i think there was some formatting issues with the prev post which resulted in it not showing up in the tags :( so total apologies for that! i hope you enjoy!! (i dont want to retag everyone and be annoying as well) if you'd like to be added to my tag list please feel free to reach out

also my requests are open if you're interested!

[st4rtar0t]

Random things about your future lover

Pick a picture from below

DM to purchase a reading! All the prices are listed on my paid reading post.

Picture 1

May be an earth sign. Virgo, Taurus or Capricorn.

They have lots of hobbies and things they like to do in their free time.

They hate it when people waste their time.

Very straightforward and cutthroat.

May be cheated on or may have severe trust issues.

They always working on something.

They are gonna come into your life really soon and unexpectedly.

They will really like the way you dress yourself.

They may even be your potential life partner or definately a long term relationship.

They have really beautiful hands and may be an artist.

Initials A,D,G,Z,U,C,B,W

They are really protective of the people they love.

Picture 2

Definitely a gentleman. Very traditional.

They love taking care of themselves.

May be a leo or have sun in their 1st or 5th house.

You may meet them around the holiday season.

They are really patient and think before they speak.

Very poetic with their words. Love language may be giving handwritten letters.

Very mysterious aura, don't talk much to people or never share anything about themselves.

You may meet them after a breakup or heartbreak.

You both work in the same career field.

May be your boss or your senior.

Very passionate and dedicated about what they do.

They love talking but not on texts.

Picture 3

They may be really popular among the opposite gender. They seem to have a lot of admires.

A perfectionist and a workaholic. Loves their job with their whole heart.

You may meet them through a trip or while travelling.

Their love language is gift giving and acts of service.

They are really practical but may get delulu sometimes.

They are emotionally mature and do not hide their feelings.

It's giving fire sign energy. May require more sleep than an average person.

Says what's on their mind. May be a bit rude sometimes.

May meet them in 2 months.

May be Aquarius, Scorpio or cancer rising .

You literally manifested them. They are a dream come true for you.

May have light colored hair.

Guys I know I have been inactive for a long time but I am just going through a lot this month. Wish me luck and expect more posts in the future.

[ohsoconfused]

transschizospec if you haven't already?

TRANSSCHIZOSPEC TIPS 𖦹

i am also transschizospec!!

i will separate this into categories: delusions, hallucinations, behaviors, emotions, and thinking

keep in mind these are all just symptoms and not every schizospec person experiences them all!! most probably dont experience all of them!!

delusions:

- a delusions is simply a fixed belief that doesnt change despite contradicting evidence. let your imagination run wild and then just gaslight yourself. eventually youll believe it.

- if you need more guidance, some common delusions are grandiose delusions (which i experienced), paranoid, erotomaniac (parasocial), somatic, and many more you can google.

- paranoia is very very common!! incorporate it!!

- look at the “how the delulu girls“ trend on tiktok!!

- whether or not you choose to talk to people about your delusion is up to you

hallucinations:

- honestly, make them up to gaslight yourself and/or manifest them

- draw whatever comes to mind and tell yourself its your hallucinations

- get sleep deprived!!

-watch things that make you anxious!!

- listen for small background noises and tell yourself its a hallucination

behaviors:

- periods of catatonia!! catatonia is a state where someone is awake but not responding to other people or maybe their environment. it may occur in the form of repetitive odd gestures, holding strange positions, mimicking others, or not moving at all. not every schizospec person experiences catatonia!!!!

- disorganized speech!! this is pretty much just word salads but with whatever and also with some garbled speech so ill make an example of this one no thank you i dont have the free time for that but yournrnnn you cna ask ted..if you wnt because hes to contamnnated to do that (but do that while talking)

- do repetitive movements and do things in patterns

- be impulsive

- schizophrenics tend to socially isolate

- be disorganized!! wear mismatch clothes (thats a thing with schizophrenics), have a messy room, etc.

emotions:

- apathy is common among schizophrenics and interestingly enough, so are heightened emotions!! sometimes just not react to things and SOMETIMES REALLY REACT!!

- anxiety is also very common

- paranoia!! what if everyone can read your mind? what if they know youre a terrible person? there are people watching you. where are they?

- inappropriate emotional responses!! such as laughing when something bad happens or crying over something really small. this ties in with heightened emotions.

thinking:

- disorganized thoughts!! this is pretty much just word salads but with whatever and also with some garbled speech so ill make an example of this one no thank you i dont have the free time for that but yournrnnn you cna ask ted..if you wnt because hes to contamnnated to do that (but do that while talking)

- memory issues!!

- inability to process social cues!! that means not getting the hint when someone is talking to you or not getting the hint someone needs to be comforted, for example.

- attention deficit!! struggle to focus on things and zone out a lot

[naneun-no]

From my drafts so it’s late but:

Today’s delulu thought is that Standing Next to You has too many lyrical coincidences to not be about Jimin.

🫣 I SAID IT WAS DELUSIONAL OKAY

You are free to disagree. You probably should 🤣

I mean we know it wasn’t written by Jung Kook but obviously the version he recorded was arranged with and for JK, and “leave your body golden” can’t be a coincidence right? Like it’s the whole ass album name, plus a word that carries connotations of JK himself, which the ppl who worked with him on Seven must have known.

So if that wasn’t a coincidence… then what about:

1. “How we left and right is something we control” — a callback to both Left and Right by CP feat JK, but also a nod to Butter, a massive BTS hit and a song that he performs alongside his boyfie bestie JM.

2. “When it’s deep like DNA, something they can’t take away” — a callback to another massive BTS hit, interesting. And *delulu warning* also reminds me of JM and JK’s extreme similarities that they themselves have referred to before?? They’re wired the same, they have the same sense of humor, they live and breathe for the same shit and even though they have some very key differences, they really do seem like twin flames (even if you just see it as platonic). They are similar in ways that seem braided into the fibers of their being. Like, in their DNA 🧬 some may say. *delulu warning #2* I’m also reminded of Jimin’s Letter lyrics: “After all this time has passed will we still be the same? Just like we were when we first met.”

Also, “something they can’t take away” is an interesting turn of phrase… more on that later.

3. Okay the real meaty part:

Screaming I’ll testify that we'll survive the test of time, they can't deny our love. They can't divide us, we'll survive the test of time I promise I'll be right here

[I seriously can’t believe how closeted-couple-coded this song is]

First off, again with the Letter lyrics mirrored here with the “test of time.” Then it’s got all this drama about being ripped apart and how it won’t happen and how they’ll be next to each other no matter what and that they have “something they can’t take away.”

Not only does all that line up with other Letter lyrics, but it is so goddamn dramatic and for what?

Be for real, what straight couple in this day and age would have this much working against them?? The only possible explanations are: 1) within the fantasy world of a song I suppose this could be some sort of Romeo and Juliet/West Side Story motif, and to be fair the music video did have a kind of rival gang/crime family look to it? Sort of? With the men fighting below the stage? Idk. Or it could be 2) the fact that idols do in fact often have to hide even their straight relationships, which is wild to me. But I know it’s a thing, so. I suppose there’s that. JK doesn’t seem the type though honestly. I think he’d be even more open about it than V.

On the other hand, the lyrics seem SO fit for a couple who are a) queer, b) closeted, c) currently in/about to be in a legislatively homophobic military and country (am I saying that right? Lol) and d) internationally famous pop idols in the SAME BAND who are both widely regarded as heterosexual sex symbols and would be shunned by many people in their homeland AND internationally if their queerness were to be revealed, much less if they were truly an item and THAT news broke.

Whew. That was a lot but like… that would be a real example of a relationship that would be VERY threatened by outside forces plotting against them and trying to separate them. Not JK and a hot blonde model, not him and a Korean actress, not basically any other scenario but a queer relationship.

Idk I know he didn’t write it but like ??? What the hell is that theme? I’m dying to get inside the mind of the people who DID write it, because are they or are they jikookers at this point like?!

4. Just for fun I’ll also point out the “leave your body golden like the sun and moon” 😏 like. Okay. At this point the songwriters are watching Jikook compilations, drooling over @slaaverin edits like convince me they’re not. CONVINCE ME.

5. “Deeper than the rain”?! “The pain”?! Alright I’m not even serious at this point but ??? Rainy day fight 🌧️?!?! 🤣🤣

6. “Standing next to you” oh you mean like… for 18 months? In a companion enlistment program? Like that?

Alright alright I’m done but you get my point. What even is this song if not an anthem of jikookery?! It’s more on-the-nose than Letter, more sneaky than Still With You. It wasn’t written by JK but at this point I’m calling that the songwriters are as delulu as me.

Hope y’all are well. If you made it to the end of this thank you for donning your tinfoil hat with me and I hope you at least got a giggle.

✌️

[nqueso-emergency]

tiny detail that probably won’t mean *that* much. i fixated on it a bit because i work in marketing and copywriting, and my boss is always so insistent on being careful with the exact message we use, and its words. because one word off or one word extra can change the message.

that being said. again probably doesn’t matter and it’s just my marketing brain being funny but-

the lack of ‘still’.

and i know it may seem stupid, but it’s the implication of it, you know? ‘still’ going strong subtly implies there will be a time where it’s not going as strong as it’s going at the start of the season.

by foregoing that and writing ‘it’s going strong’ they are sending a, well, stronger message. they are presenting them, from the first interview, as a strong couple. as something solid.

feel free i am starting to be too delulu tho!

You're right! If there would have been a hint of trouble on the horizon when it came to the relationship, they would have added 'still' but they didn't.

[cdragons]

Bound by Embroidered Chains - Aemond Targaryen x Seamstress!OC x Jacaerys Velaryon - Chapter One

Prologue

Summary: Dragons have a habit in hoarding the prettiest of jewels, and pearls are of no exceptions.

Warnings- MDNI 18+ Obsessive Behavior (we all knew this was coming), tiny!Aemond is delulu, tiny!Jace is delulu, Dark Themes, not betaread we burn like Harrenhal, etc. Also translations for Valyrian will be added at the bottom! Also I used an online translator for the High Valyrian, so it may not be great 🫠

Author's Note: Hello everyone! Thank you all so much for the amazing support for this story's prologue, I did NOT expect so many positive reviews! I'm sorry this took so long, but I had a ton of applications and finals. But since I am on winter break, hopefully I will be able to upload more fics! Happy Holidays and big shoutout to @valeskafics, who continues to be the HOTD fanfic writing ICON that we all know and love! If you liked reading this work, reblog and comment if you want to be tagged in future installments of this work! Also I apologize for any grammatical errors, I wanted to post this as soon as possible.

You have known your entire life that you were going to be one of the many seamstresses that serviced the Royal Family.

By the age of three, your mother would teach you how to begin your very first stitches, which soon shifted to learning the most complicated patterns of embroidery. You still remember the tears in her eyes as you presented the silk-woven handkerchief that had lovely little purple and blue flowers embroidered on the borders for her birthday. Your face flushed to an almost too bright red when she insisted on showing all the other royal seamstresses and tailors your first handkerchief. But it made you smile in remembering how big her smile was that week, as she was so pleased by how much you’ve progressed at such a young age.

When you were only six, your mother had begun to teach you how to properly extract the dye from beautiful flowers and the scales of brightly-colored insects. So skilled and nimble were your fingers that you even gave your childhood playmate, Aemond Targaryen, a thick green wool cloak with green and silver dragon embroidery. The cloak’s wool had been dyed by your hand with copious amounts of goldenrod and indigo flowers. You then carefully stitched silk to line the inside of the cloak to prevent him from overheating, as even the harshest winters in the Crownlands were hardly anything compared to the summers in the North. It had caught you off-guard in the almost too-tight embrace he locked you in, but you eagerly reciprocated as you could tell he appreciated the gift more than words could describe.

It was not just a gift for is name-day from a childhood companion, but also a way to reassure him that he will one day have a dragon. And even if the gods do not grant him worthy in their eyes, he would always be considered a prince worthy of the Targaryen name in yours. After all, there were not many princes that would willingly spend all their free time with a lowly seamstress’ daughter – even if the supposed seamstress that was your mother was so heavily favored by the Queen.

“Pearl,” came a voice with a tone far too serious despite its youth, “what are you doing in the Godswood?”

You lifted your head from old tome you were studying, only to see a young boy of only nine name-days, that stood as straight as one of the stone pillars that stood in the Sept of Baelor. His white locks nearly blinded you with how the sunshine seemed to reflect on them.

“Well my prince, as you can clearly see, I have decided to take advantage of this fine day to do a bit of studying of my own.” You lifted the near ancient tome on your lap to show him the title, Myths and Legends of the Jade Seas.

Whatever outwardly beauty the book possessed had long diminished, the spine was bent from the hundreds of hours spent looking through its contents and the letters were near faded to a dull grey as the pages yellowed from age. But the colors of the ink remained as vibrant as when they were first painted on the frail sheets, accompanied by beautiful imagery of magical dragons and elusive mermaids. The details were so fine and intricate that it felt as if you only needed to touch the ink in order to be transported into the stories. You remembered how you begged either your mother or father to read it to you every night, as utterly transfixed by the colors back then as you remained so now.

“You are more than welcome to join me, but if – and only if – you share one of those apples hiding in your knapsack.”

Finally showing an expression appropriate for his age, the young prince reached in his pouch to show two gorgeous apples – the skin was practically gleaming in the sun as your mouth watered for its taste. Aemond handed one to you as he sat by your side underneath the plentiful shade of the heart tree. Scooting over to make room on the overgrown root you sat on, you eagerly showed him strange text.

“Look Aemond!” you exclaimed as you shoved the book to his nose. “This book says that there were dragons in Yi Ti! Isn’t that amazing?”

Aemond looked at you as if you had suddenly grown two heads and five eyes. “How can there be dragons in Yi Ti? All the dragons save the ones in the dragonpit and the rocky shores of Dragonstone had perished in The Doom that sunk Valyria. Everyone knows that pearl.”

“These dragons are different! According to my kepa, Yi Ti dragons don’t even need wings to fly!”

The young prince rolled his eyes at that. “How could they fly if they don’t have wings? Even Carraxes the Blood Wrym has wings, and he looks like an overgrown red snake.” Honestly, his pearl could be so silly. “Besides, what would your father know? He’s a bastard from the Iron Islands, that’s nowhere near the Jade Seas.”

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. “He heard so on his travels with Lord Velaryon and Prince Laenor! Apparently, these dragons use magic and live in the ocean. And they don’t even breathe fire! They make it rain and control the oceans!”

“…Pearl, I think you’ve been spending too much time making those dyes. The fumes must have gotten to your head.”

You openly gaped at your friend’s comment, completely in shock for how blatantly he dismissed you. It made you want to pound your fists on his person until he took it back. So naturally, you did just that.

“Aemond Targaryen, you take that back right now!” you shrieked. Although your actions told otherwise, the smile on your face showed that you took no true offense to his words. If anything, it pleased you to know that you could still make the stone-faced prince giggle as a boy should at his age.

“Never!”

As the two of you giggled and played, several pairs of wandering eyes spied and grimaced at the distasteful display. Although your friendship with the next generation of the royal family was no secret, much of the court disapproved of how highly the royal family thought of you and Prince Aemond’s friendship. After all, he was the second born prince of House Targaryen, born of King Viserys and Queen Alicent. By the time the Targaryen prince could toddle, great things were expected from him. From a very early age, he immersed himself in his studies befitting of a prince of Westeros. You, on the other hand, were only the daughter of a seamstress and a bastard knight who became a lord of a holding so minor that it had no name. You only skills were that you could make pretty dye, and stitch pretty pictures with a needle and thread.

But he always treated you kindly and defended you whenever his eldest brother decided to use you as his latest target for mockery. You were a precious pearl – his precious pearl – Aegon may be his brother, but he could never love Aegon as much as he loved you. True, your father being a bastard did you no favors in the Red Keep’s court, but Aemond would never tell you that himself. Instead, he openly acknowledged his bravery and commended his loyalty to the Crown. After all, how many bastards can boast that they saved the Lord Corlys Velaryon, holder of the Driftwood Throne, from a siege of pirates during one of the lord’s many voyages to Essos?

In turn, you always made sure to provide comfort and support whenever his brother and nephews decided to pick on him. Without fail, he would seek out your company – his eyes red and puffy, while his cheeks were wet from hastily wiped tears. You would take his hands and the two of you would venture out to the library’s more secluded sections. You made sure to pack whatever you have been working on with you. While you were glad that he came to you for comfort, it would do little good for either of you if you were to be punished for not completing whatever tasks your mother assigned you.

“Who cares if you don’t have a dragon?” you once asked him as the two of you laid next to each other, surrounded by books. “There are plenty members of the Targaryen line that did not have dragons, but they still lived out important lives in serving their family however they could. King Jaehaerys was considered a great ruler for how he served the realm– not for riding Vermithor. And even if you had a dragon, is that all you wish to be known for? Your grandfather, Baelon the Brave, was wise and beloved by the small folk for how he tried to make their lives easier. But all he is known for in history books is how he burned down Dorne with Vhagar.”

“Better to be known for a dragon than to disappear, not being known for anything – not even a dragon worthy of the Targaryen name.”

Sitting up against a bookshelf, you repositioned Aemond to lie his head on your thighs. Luckily the candlelight made the area dark enough so that you wouldn’t see his ears turning red. Instead, he buried his face in the soft cotton of your blue tunic as you stroked his soft silver white locks. Although his heart was beating erratically, your sweet scent along with your body’s suppleness was enough to take away any ire left in him.

“Stop that,” you ordered, “you will not be forgotten, don’t be so dramatic.” Eyes softening at his tense shoulders, you eased on the sternness of your tone. “Nyke pendagon iksā brilliant. Eman dōrī rhēdan anyone else qilōni kostagon ȳdragon Valyrio Eglie hae sȳrī hae ao.  Kostā solve problems bona aegon ēza trouble lēda during aōha lessons lēda se Giēñatī.  Aemond, iksā ñuha sȳrje raqiros.  Gaomagon daor ivestragon kesā sagon daor rūnas.”

You pretended not to notice how tightly he clenched your dress as you ignored the how warm the spot where his hot tears grew.

As you continued to stroke his hair, Aemond made a silent vow that when he finally claimed a dragon, you would be the first person he would ride it with. He thought about how his bastard nephews would always try to take you from him, especially Jace, how he despised that boy. No, your touches would belong to him, and only him. Your sweet words and kind demeanor were his to cherish. You were his pearl – his pearl – and no one else’s, especially not the pretend Targaryen that was Jacaerys Strong.

Yes, it pleased Aemond to know that he was your best friend. But sometimes it frustrated him in how you refused to take him seriously as a man. For example, he once announced that when he claimed his dragon, he would finally be a noble dragon knight who would protect you from the most vicious of beasts. No matter how he insisted on his sincerity, you only rolled your eyes at the proclamation. You told him that you had no need for a knight, let alone a dragon knight. You had your dearest kepa for protection, and there was no finer knight in all the Seven Kingdoms in your eyes. So silly was his pearl indeed.

“Ashi’!” a new voice called out, interrupting the comfortable silence between him and his pearl. It belonged to the king’s eldest grandson, Prince Jacaerys Strong Velaryon, heir to the Iron Throne after his mother, Princess Rhaenyra. “Your mother is looking for you! She said that she needs your help with Mother’s clothes!”

“Alright!” When you stood from you spot, you made sure to brush away any dirt or debris left on your skirts. You gathered your mother’s book in both arms when you made your way to the prince. “But why did my muña not send one of her attendants instead? It would not have been difficult to find me. Everyone knows that I enjoy reading under the Hearts Tree in the Godswood during my spare time. Are you not busy with your own duties, my prince?”

Straightening his posture to appear taller, Jace did his best to sound as authoritative as his father had taught him. “I just finished my lessons for the morning, and I volunteered to escort you. Besides, I figured that it would do me some good in practicing escorting you. I’ll need to do it in the future when I am king after my mother.” His round freckled cheeks reddened to a rosy hue at that last part.

Not at all catching the terribly obvious implication, you shrugged off his words as you figured that he meant that he was using you as practice for whichever future noble lady he would court in the future. However, the suggestion was not at all lost on your friend, who was still sitting on the overgrown root, glaring at his eldest nephew with a fury that rivaled the Great Doom that sunk Valyria.

“Well, we should be on our way then. Come on Aemond, we should get going!” You held out your held for your friend to hold on to, but were quickly interrupted by the brown-haired Targaryen at the side.

“He can’t! I mean-” stammered Jace as did his best in thinking of an excuse, “-I’m afraid my uncle cannot join us. You see, um – his mother, the Queen, requested his presence in her solar.”

“I’m sure my mother won’t mind waiting for a few moments while I join you in escorting my pearl to her favorite friend, nephew.” This wasn’t a lie on Aemond’s part. While he didn’t like the idea in keeping his mother waiting for him, he despised the thought of you being alone with the Strong Knight’s eldest bastard even more. Besides, his mother adored you as if you were her own daughter. It would have gone without saying that she would be happy with her son spending time with her best friend’s daughter.

“But why would you want to risk it, uncle?” Jacaerys wasn’t going to let his selfish uncle hog all of your attention. You were his friend too! It wasn’t fair that he had find crumbs of your time and affections, while his uncle got to feast on your smiles and laughter. He had spent hours with the dragon keepers of the dragonpit to help him train Vermax, all so that he could finally show you how close he was in riding him! But you were always too busy comforting his stupid dragonless uncle!

Enough was enough. Jacaerys may have been a Velaryon like his father, but he was also a Targaryen like his mother. It was he who carried the dragon’s blood, and dragons took what they desired or felt what they deserved. And he desrved to be with you more than Aemond.

“It’s alright Aemond, we’ll talk more later! Let’s go Jace, we shouldn’t keep our mothers waiting any more than we have.” Grabbing his hand before walking out of the gardens, you weren’t able to see the younger prince throw a triumphant smirk to his uncle before once more facing you with the story of how Luke accidentally got egg in his hair.

Watching his literal bastard of a nephew walk hand-in-hand away with his pearl, Aemond Targaryen felt his fury grow more potent with each step. He hated that you called his nephew by his nickname, all while he had none. What’s worse was the fact that you allowed him to refer to you as “Ashi.” What a ridiculous name, only a lowborn such as his nephew would refer to someone as precious as you as something as study and simple like “Ashi.” You were a pearl – his pearl, in fact. A fact that he felt was important to emphasize as he watched your head being thrown back in laughter. His anger grew to an all-time high when he watched you ruffle Jacaery’s hair with abundant affection.

Not wanting to make a scene, he walked to his mother’s chambers in fuming silence. While her presence wasn’t yours, maybe he could think of a plan to get you away from his whore of a sister and her illegitimate offspring.

If worse comes to worst, he might need to recruit his sister to his cause. He knew that Helaena would especially be thrilled in receiving your presence. You were the only one besides your parents that did not treat his beloved sister like an oddity. If you were not with Aemond, you were often found stitching with the young princess. It seemed that you were the only person in the entire world that could get her to smile.

Such a sweet girl, his pearl. Someone so kind was not meant to endure the presence of lowly bastards – even if they did technically carry royal blood.

He needed to come up with something fast.

Translations:

“Nyke pendagon iksā brilliant. Eman dōrī rhēdan anyone else qilōni kostagon ȳdragon Valyrio Eglie hae sȳrī hae ao.  Kostā solve problems bona aegon ēza trouble lēda during aōha lessons lēda se Giēñatī.  Aemond, iksā ñuha sȳrje raqiros.  Gaomagon daor ivestragon kesā sagon daor rūnas.” - “You’re brilliant. I’ve never met anyone else who can speak such fluent High Valyrian, especially at your age. You can solve problems that Aegon has trouble with during your lessons with the Maester. Aemond, you are my best friend. Don’t say that you will be forgotten.”

Tagging:

@valeskafics, @faesspace, @aphroditesmoon, @dreaming-for-an-escape, @nellychick, @asa-do-your-thing, @arcielee, @bellamys-girl1, @immyowndefender, @xxlovingfandomsxx, @elinedjarin, @meg-egg-blog, @marvelescape, @mandiiblanche, @lokiofasgard12, @boxedpandas, @anewpersonthatexists, @toodlesxcuddles, @mckiquinn, @cvspians, @aemondslove

[thekatebridgerton]

Mystery of the sexy paintings au

Today on another episode of aus I talk about with @seaowl when I am high on energy drinks

Mystery of the sexy paintings au

In which 17yo Gareth St Claire, good for nothing, except painting riske pictures that get him into trouble in the uni, comes up with a plan to con the ton into buying his amateur paintings for an exorbitant price, so he can get the cash he needs to pay for tuition. Enter, his friends/models. Who were nice enough to model for him for free.

The problem is, that the Bridgertons may have made mysterious French painter Gautier-Gautier / 17yo Gareth, rich overnight, but also, now they’re trying to discover his identity. How was Gareth supposed to know his friends attracted so many lunatics.

Sophie, he can understand, Benedict was the initial target of this whole fake art show business. Con the delusional rich guy into buying the painting of odalisque Lady in Silver (wearing a mask and a transparent sheet). But what he didn’t expect was that Benedict would fall inlove at first sight and make a shrine for the painting in his room. Benedict also makes his sister’s lady’s maid clean the shrine, who happens to be Sophie. The very same Sophie who got so fed up with Benedict’s Lady in Silver delulu after a masquerade a year ago, that she was willing to pose semi naked for Gareth and was 100% unapologetic about conning the Benedict out of millions in cash. Now she’s cleaning a shrine to the painting of her own semi naked body and this close to killing Benedict.

  Kate, well Gareth doesn’t even know why Kate agreed to let him paint her naked back and buttocks in all their sultry and exquisite glory. All he knows is that she felt sorry for him and that some guy she disliked said she was uptight and priggish and hadn’t done one wild thing in her life, so Kate told Gareth to paint her buttocks on top of a mushroom and get as much cash as he could manage from auctioning off her likeness. Gareth thinks Kate may hate him, because a furious Anthony Bridgerton saw the painting and immediately had people looking for Gautier-Gautier. Gareth knows Anthony can’t prove the naked back-buttocks model in the painting is Kate, but boy is the man trying his best to make Kate confess to her evil misdeeds. He also knows from Sophie that Anthony keeps Kate’s painting in a secret place only he can enter and that he spends way way too much time there. On the bright side, Anthony paid a lot of money for the faceless mushroom fairy, so Gareth has to thank Kate for her honorable, if spiteful gift of charity.

Penelope volunteered to help Gareth because she thought his paintings of Sophie and Kate were beautiful and she was even fine with her face being visible because in her reasoning, nobody would recognize HER wearing negligee anyway, she was a wallflower, if people saw the resemblance, well, redheads were a dime a dozen in popular paintings, nobody would think it was her. Gareth thought so too, and he was happy to help Penelope get in touch with her desirable femininity by painting her as the goddess of love. He was proud of the redhead seductress he painted. That is until another furious Bridgerton walked away from the art show with the painting AND the woman he clearly recognized in tow. Gareth doesn’t know much about Colin Bridgerton, but he looked about to shoot somebody the moment he saw Penelope, and the painting of the goddess of love that everyone was admiring. Penelope at least tried to explain, but Colin was fit to be tied. Gareth really hopes his friend is okay and not locked away somewhere being ravished by Colin Bridgerton. the man did pay an exorbitant amount of money for the painting, but Gareth is okay with accusing Colin of kidnapping Penelope if he doesn’t hear from her in a few days.   

Phillip, okay yes Gareth did it on purpose, he painted the man as a dark sexy demon wearing a loincloth, but to be fair Gareth asked for help, Phillip said no, because #thinkOfMyChildren, so Gareth had to resort to blackmail. And while, yes it is wrong for Gareth to use Phillip’s sad depressive diary against him, it was also wrong of Phillip to say no to posing semi-nude for Gareth’s moneymaking schemes. What better way to celebrate being in London for a hot widowed father than to do Gareth a favor.  In the end the bidding war among the thirsty debutantes made loin cloth fire demon the hit of the night, I mean Eloise Bridgerton probably bankrupted a few years of her allowance with how much she put on the pot to take the painting. Now Phillip is complaining that Eloise is sniffing around too much when he’s shirtless in the gardens trying to teach his kids about plants. Honestly for Gareth that sounds like the opposite of a problem, but Phillip has this thing called modesty that Gareth can’t quite get.

Look at cousin Simon and his boxing buddy Michael, they were both good sports about being part of the art show. Sure Simon almost fainted with Daphne Bridgerton began arguing with her brother about the whole ‘if you can take the mushroom fairy, I can take the semi naked warrior, so give me the money’ ordeal, because you know, Anthony was Simon’s university pal and could recognize those warrior biceps anywhere. But in the end, he couldn’t deny Daphne her wish without explaining that she was thirsting over semi naked Simon, and giving up the mushroom fairy painting that other gentlemen were eying with envy was a non negotiable. Daphne walked away with her painting and so did dowager duchess Francesca Stirling, who took one look at Archangel Michael’s painting, paid a king’s ransom for it and walked out without so much as looking around, you gotta admire a woman on a mission really.  

Lucy’s painting was probably the less risque of the lot, because while she was only a year older than him, she still wanted to participate in the gautier-gautier moneymaking scheme and help Gareth, so Gareth painted her as a beautiful mermaid, in honor of their childhood friendship. She was dressed…sort of. I mean look at Greg Bridgerton, he bought it for her didn’t he? He thinks the art looks pretty. He thinks the art looks like Lucy. And with the way Greg talks about the mermaid, Gareth wonders how the man can be so dense. But that’s Lucy’s problem to worry about.

Enter his current problem. Debutate and diamond extraordinaire, way too perceptive to be sixteen, Hyacinth Bridgerton, who apparently knows all about Gareth’s secret identity as Gautier-Gautier and is threatening to let her siblings know, unless Gareth gives her a self portrait… for free.  

An: I’m thinking about writing a drabble about this, mainly just the part of Gareth and the fabulous seven coming up with the idea and actually implementing it. tagging @sea-owl my au loving buddy who is okay with hearing me ramble

[saintsenara]

I submitted a short story for a contest at college and just now heard older colleagues and employees can also submit their own, so i feel like i put in that much effort just to be beaten by other people with way more experience than me.

Can i ask for a few words of comfort? I've been having a rough time with finals, so I would really appreciate it coming from you

anon, it sounds like you're having a shitter. i hate this for you, and i hope you've indulged in a bit of a wallow. you deserve it.

but, unless i've misread this, it doesn't look like any decisions have actually been made yet? people with more experience may very well have submitted stories to this contest. the outcome of their submissions is - as yet - not something you know.

which seems important.

"don't borrow grief from the future" is one of the few pithy pop psychology phrases which is genuinely good advice. trying to pre-guess how this contest will unfold is futile, pre-empting feeling miserable in the future just makes you miserable in the present.

but - i'll be honest - it's also a mantra which i've always found a bit... solemn. a bit sincere. a bit passive, even.

i've said before that my main piece of life advice is fortune favours the bold - that the best thing you can have in your arsenal is the audacity. my other main piece of life advice is similar, and is something i've always found useful in situations such as this:

but first they must catch you

this is not - to be clear - me telling you to commit crimes [although, let's be honest, you should have it in mind if you want to start...].

it's what the sun said to a rabbit named el-ahrairah.

All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.

el-ahrairah is being told here that rabbits will never be more powerful than foxes and weasels. you are at a stage in your life where you have less experience than other contestants who have also submitted stories. on paper, the fight can only ever have one outcome: the fox eats the rabbit; the professor with half a century of creative writing experience clobbers the undergraduate student into last place.

but there are going to be lots and lots of things in life which - on paper - you are almost guaranteed to fail or lose or be terrible at or embarrass yourself doing. you will find yourself in lots of situations in which the competition is bigger than you and stronger than you, and has more numbers or more resources or more experience than you.

and you have to be able to be clear-eyed about that - this is one of those times when delulu is not the solulu.

but what you also have to bear in mind is that any and every assessment of things on paper is meaningless. because it fails to take into account that there must be a catching first.

a fox will eat a rabbit. but first it must catch it.

a professor with half a century of creative writing experience expects their story to outperform an undergraduate's. but first it must catch it.

the other contestants may very well have much, much more experience than you. they might have more free time to spend writing. they might know famous authors who give them advice for free. and if the competition is a "quote your cv" or "name-drop your nepotism", sure, you might be fucked.

but if the competition is "is this story compelling?" the piece that wins won't self-importantly present a list of its credentials. it will slip through a gap, escape a dead end, play a prank, pull off a feat. it will be plucky and bold and sly. it will evade the clutches of the bigger and stronger stories by being full of cunning.

all of which is to say, i am a great proponent of living the life of a trickster god - or, to stick with the rabbit theme, bugs bunny. i have always believed that "who's going to stop me?" is a legitimate motivation for anything. i have always believed that "you and who's army?" is the only response to being told you don't have a chance. and i have always believed that it doesn't matter what it seems on paper that the outcome of something should be... because that outcome is only guaranteed if they catch you.

and they've only caught you when you're dead.

because - sure - your prediction of what's going to happen might be absolutely right - or maybe i did misread this, and what you feared would happen did indeed happen. you might get told that your story is an affront to language and you should never pick up a pen again. the same is true with your finals. yes, the worse case scenario you can imagine for yourself might indeed happen.

i bet your enemies would feel pretty pleased with themselves if that happened. they'd think that was final! that there was no way you could wiggle out of that one! that you were never going to dust yourself off, and get back to the drawing board, and - motivated by a healthy dose of audacity and spite - keep surviving, and writing, and thinking, and being curious, and practising, and getting ever more cunning with every word. ready to pop up later and say "yeah... you should have tried a bit harder to stop me, shouldn't you?"

have your night of sulking - an impeccably fun activity - but then send your self-defeating impulses hence.

you're not beaten yet, hen. first they must catch you.