#I made so many friends!

[ghosted-jazz]

Species Swap AU! Retired couple gets a fairy godchild to help repair their relationship

[ethosiab]

Tango gets stuck in the Misery Spiral Of Debugging™️ so etho and gem rescue him (successfully)

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[forgettable-au]

FORGETTABLE-AU (page 82-85)

THAT LAZYBONES!!

[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]

[blossoms-phan]

with all the love in my heart they must be so SOOOO annoying to know irl like everyone knows the joke of oh dan and phil they’re just attached at the hip and it was like that even in the 2014 bros era but it’s so SO much worse now like. if you’re getting something you’re getting it for the both of them. phil asking if he can try the easter treats his mum sent without dan there. dan can’t have chocolate in his birthday cake or in general ever I guess because phil can’t have it. you can’t have one without the other. package deal. do not separate.

[shandzii]

been normal over Pressure guard OC's with my friends :] silly AU that lives rent-free in my brainnn

characters featured belong to me, @allbically, pink, seth, and zerum

[forestofsprites]

as a wizard said but a few moments earlier, there are other forces at work in this world besides the will of evil! and as a friend will say a great many months later, it'll be spring soon! and as frodo himself did, we will arm that beautiful lovely knowledge & carry on

[sleepysebris]

the two smartest people in the show get together, you cant not expect them to uncover every single secret

This is for @halfahelix!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!💖✨ (I was your anarchist gang gift exchange gifter !!) It was really fun trying to figure out how to squeeze sentitwins, feligami, and ladrien into one comic together lmao I KIND OF DID IT, I THINK? enjoy :3

[jomeimei421]

Felt a bit nostalgic watching RT shut down…Here are the og faves again for old times sake 💙

[ruporas]

i got an opportunity to make a plush recently so naturally i made wolfwood! this IC is to gauge interest for full production and how many wolfwoods i'll be expecting in the future world [ID in alt].

please fill out this form if you'd be interested in a mini wolfwood!

*this is not a preorder form, this is only an interest check

[ping-ski]

hihi!! i got the COOLEST opportunity to be a spot artist for @LMKFanzine aka Megapolis Mania! and guess what? LEFTOVER SALES ARE OPEN NOW!

run along now and go check it out! we all worked super hard on it <3 https://lmkfanzine.bigcartel.com

[florida3exclamationpoints]

Her family history is a little ~complicated~

[natkidding]

The whole bloonini gang!!! i wanted to draw them for so long and now theyre out in the world 😥

time to past out

[tubbytarchia]

Hey guys I think The Last Unicorn is such a Scott book

[avloki-pal]

Hello ISATblr, love to see you thriving

My friend introduced me to this game and I haven't been the same ever since, so of course I had to celebrate it's birthday

Have a doodle dump of all ISAT art I've made so far, including some Im not really satisfied with, and some ISATsonas, because it's my art and it's ISAT and we have fun here

HAPPY 1ST ISAT BIRTHDAY!!!!!

also my posts include a lot of rambling in my tags, so please do check those out, and click on the images for better quality and non cropped versions

[cerberulix]

hey. dont cry. copinto with monkey forever okay?